#i loved writing these so much i wish i could put previews out already!

[thisisej]

I'm so excited for Lovestruck!

I wrote two fics for the zine, and while previews are coming soon, here are two hints:

🚂🌈💋

🏰🗡️🩸

Be sure to check out the bundles this zine has to offer! (I want that lanyard)

[ponett]

First New Years Eve anon here! I finished SLARPG after playing it any chance I could get. Literally everything I said held true or got better as the game went on. What a solid game, I felt the love in every moment.

Partway through, I got to wondering what it's like to finish a years-long project. I'm in the process of something like that, and I can't imagine life after The End, so your anniversary reflections post caught my eye. It felt like a future me had written it in a startling amount of ways. (Marketing is so hard ;_;)

A part that really stuck with me is how you described the story growing along with you. There were a few parts toward the beginning that felt distinctly mid-2010s (not in a bad way), but the narrative felt so cohesive that I would've assumed it was planned to the letter. As someone in a similar position, it's comforting to know there was some wiggle room. There's so much more I could say, but maybe not right now.

Wishing you your version of success!

thank you!

making sure the story felt cohesive was definitely tricky since the game was in development for so long. i mean, i knew the broad strokes of the story from the start, including the fact that it would get more serious as it progressed. That Sequence at the end of act ii was planned as a pivotal moment in the game since, like, 2015. but a lot of the back half of the game was only written after the demo was released in 2018, and my creative priorities shifted a lot in that time. so it took some work to make everything line up

i was still tweaking individual lines of dialogue in the script like, days before launch - particularly stuff earlier in the game that i was no longer quite as happy with, just to make sure everything fit together well enough and that things didn't come off as too dated. there are still a few jokes in act i where i'm like "ehh, that isn't as funny as i thought it was in 2016." but what can you do? that's just the linear progression of time for you

actually, if anything, before release i was worried that people would be put off by the darker and more dramatic elements of the game after i'd originally pitched it as being so goofy and lighthearted and cute. i had to fight the urge to insert more jokes into act iv out of a fear that people would get bored if the game stopped being funny, and i worried that people who had already grown attached to the characters through the demo and other preview material would get mad at me if i put melody and friends through the wringer. but thankfully people have responded really well to the more dramatic stuff, and the arc of the game as a whole, like i hoped they would

i'm extremely happy with how slarpg turned out overall, but if i was to write the story today, at age 30, i'm sure a lot of the writing would have turned out different. which is why the new thing i've been kicking around ideas for will probably be more mature and dramatic from the start. but we'll see

[gunilslaugh]

Valentine's Letters

Han Hyeongjun

Summary: A collection of Valentine’s day letters Hyeongjun has written to you. (idol/non-idol au)

WC:920

Warning: Takes an angst turn at the end.

photo not mine credits to owners.

Dear y/n,

You kept complaining about how you’re tired of having no one “special” to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. I know I’m not your lover, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a special someone for you to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. If you want someone to buy you chocolates and propose to you with flowers, I can do that :). You can get all dressed up and I’ll take you somewhere special or we can stay in. I can cook us a beautiful candle lit dinner. I’ll even learn how to make your favorite dessert too. We could make cute little heart shaped cookies together. My point is I will give you whatever kind of Valentine’s Day that you want. Show you how much I truly care about you. Whether as just a friend or something more?

Sincerely, 

Hyeongjun

Dear my love,

It’s our first Valentine’s Day as a couple <3. I never thought that you would actually accept and return my feelings for you. I supposed last Valentine’s Day was a good preview for how good our relationship could be. It feels surreal that I get to write you a love letter as your boyfriend. Honestly I fell for you shortly after we met. Remember that day we went to the museum? You were excited to wear the new shoes you had gotten, but they ended up giving you blisters. As I was bandaging your feet on your bench outside of the museum I realized just how much I liked you. I felt like my heart was  going to beat out of my chest when you held onto my arm for extra support as we walked to the car. I blamed the blush on my cheeks due to the heat of the sun. I wasn’t sure if you believed me or not though. Anyway we should go on more museum dates :). 

Your lover,

Hyeongjun

Happy Valentine’s Day love,

It’s the third Valentine’s Day together and I can say that there is no one else I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with, or any of my other days for that matter. I love you so much. Every single moment we spend together means so much to me. I overheard your friends saying that they were shocked our relationship has lasted. It hurt to hear that, but when you immediately stood up for our relationship it made me fall in love with you all over again. You mean so much to me y/n. I hope that you know that. I know that I’m not the best at expressing my emotions, but when it comes to you I really try to wear my heart on my sleeve. Thank you for believing in our relationship. I promise I’ll do my absolute best to prove that it’s worth believing in. 

With love,

Hyeongjun

<3

Hello Beautiful,

It’s already our fourth Valentine’s Day together. Time really does seem to fly. I feel like just yesterday I was holding my breath as I gave you your very first Valentine’s Day letter. I was so nervous that day. I thought I might be putting our friendship at risk. Truthfully it was so hard listening to you complain about not having a special someone when all I wanted to be was your special someone. Now I’ve been yours for almost four years. I know that you’re a bit sad this year that we can’t celebrate on the real Valentine’s Day, but I promise that won’t make our celebration of it less grand. I’ll make it so special that you won’t even realize it’s not actually Valentine’s Day. I’ll make this one our best Valentine’s Day yet, I promise. You’ll never be able to forget it. 

Forever yours,

Hyeongjun :]

There is one more letter Hyeongjun wrote for you, but you’ll never get to read it. Because before you and Hyeongjun could celebrate your fifth Valentine’s Day together you broke up. 

Dear Y/n,

It’s Valentine’s Day again. I hope that you aren’t feeling lonely today. I know that you always liked and wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with a special someone. I would like to say that I hope you are still able to do that this year, but that would be a lie. I truly cherished being your special someone and I wish that I still was. I meant what I wrote in one of my previous letters. The one that said I wanted to spend the rest of my Valentine’s Days and the rest of my days with you. I really did and still do want to spend the rest of my life with you. Clearly that’s not how it’s gonna go. Even if I’m no longer your special someone you will always be mine. I’ll spend the rest of my Valentine’s Days celebrating the love that I have for you. Being thankful for all the years we spent together. Being thankful for all the love that you gave me. I hope that the rest of your Valentine’s Days are filled with love. That you can get giddy over someone giving you chocolates or flowers or a stuffed animal. Maybe you’ll even find another person who will write you love letters like me, but I hope that you don’t like them more than mine. I hope that you still think of me from time to time too. I mean even if we put our past relationship aside, we used to be friends right? More than anything else I hope that you are happy. 

Best regards,

Hyeongjun

[try-set-me-on-fire]

you mentioned you were writing a proposal fic. is that still happening? i loved the preview you posted!

I am! That one’s going to be longer and I’ll probably finish and post it while the shows on break! Here’s another little scene from it for you, though…

The sticky pads holding the heart monitor sensors to his chest itch. Buck lays in bed staring balefully up at the ceiling and tapping his chest with his fingertips around the nodes, trying to relieve the feeling. Not only does it not work but he also starts to worry that maybe impacts could be jostling the sensors enough to mess with the readings, so he rolls over (gently) to grab the notepad he’s supposed to writing down the “time and severity of any sensations of discomfort or pain, or any irregular heartbeat or palpitation” in and sheepishly writes “maybe itched chest too much, 4:32 pm.” He rolls to his back again. He wishes he could google how to stop itching without actually itching, but his cell phone is in a drawer in the kitchen next to the microwave, which he is not allowed near.

“Ugh,” he says, petulantly, to no one.

Except not no one, because Christopher chooses that moment to make his way through the bedroom door, arms laden with school work. He hands the stack to Buck wordlessly, who holds it above his chest while Chris walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in to sit against the headboard. He holds his hands out and Buck gives the pile back.

“You need help with homework?” Buck asks, passing over the pencil he’d just been writing with.

“It’s math, Buck,” Chris says, making a face. “You can’t help.”

“Ok, rude.”

Chris doesn’t dignify him with a response, getting right to work. His serious little face makes Buck smile. His forehead crinkles when he concentrates, just like Eddie’s does. Buck lays there, listening to the scratch of Christopher’s pencil and watching him breathe. He wonders what his heart monitor is reading from him now. Can it hear the way Buck’s heart swells up like a balloon every time he sees this kid? Should he write that down? 4:43 pm, loved Chris Diaz. Except that is always true, at any time, an overwhelming and constant state of being. Maybe they should have put the monitor on Christopher instead, Buck’s heart outside his body.

Chris glances down at Buck occasionally as he works. His eyeline is aimed at Buck’s chest so he doesn’t think he’s aware of Buck’s study of him. The line of his mouth gets tight each time it happens, a worried little grimace. 4:55, heartbreak. Buck reaches out and wraps his fingers around Chris’s ankle.

“Hey, bud,” Buck says softly, jostling his leg a little. “I’m ok, you know that, right? This looks scary,” he gestures to the wires coming off him, “But it’s just for a longer check up than they have time for at the doctor’s.”

Chris chews on his lip for a moment before responding. “What if they find something wrong?”

Buck holds on tighter. “You and your dad are taking such good care of me already. I’m doing good, and Dr. {name} doesn’t think she’ll find anything unexpected, but if she does and I need a little extra help I know I’m in good hands.”

Chris looks all over his face, examining him in the way his father sometimes does, and then rests his hand on Buck’s chest, careful not to nudge any of the tape. “We’ll help you, Buck,” Chris says, breaking out in a mischievous smile. “We’re even learning to make mac and cheese from Bobby.”

Buck throws his head back in a laugh. “Aw, no! What will you even need me for?”

“We’ll always need you, Buck.” 4:59, emotionally obliterated by a 12 year old. “Dad burns it every time.

Buck laughs again as Chris grins and gets back to work. His hand stays on Buck’s chest, and Buck doesn’t let go of his ankle.

[kg-clark-inthedark]

Chapter 11 of Beyond the Spheres by kg_clark on Ao3

Corvo Attano/The Outsider

Chapter preview below the cut…

I still remember my first fight like it was yesterday. It was within a year or two of my father’s death. A neighborhood kid was taunting my older sister Beatrici and, even though I was only five at the time, I already felt it was my responsibility to defend her. Void knows Father wasn’t around to do it anymore. And Mother was busy making ends meet.

We were both so young, me and that other boy. He was maybe seven at the oldest, yet I went after him with such brutality. What sweet satisfaction I got from the blood that gushed from his nose and the way he cried out for his parents. It felt good to hurt someone who deserved it, and it felt even better to have been of benefit to Beatrici. But what really hooked me on it all was what she said to me afterwards.

“My brave little Corvo. I’ll always be safe with you by my side, won’t I?”

That was it for me. From that point on, I defended her with everything I had during our rough upbringing. We were scrappy and inseparable in the mean streets of the Batista Mining District. It was with childish hope that she dreamed of seeking out a more adventurous life for herself away from Karnaca. And it was my own childish hope that let me think she would take me with her.

So much of my boyhood was defined by my relationship with her - my only true friend, the only person who I believed understood me. Then she simply disappeared. She boarded one of those ships we used to always watch together without a word to anyone. Not even to me…

I naively thought I’d always be able to protect Beatrici from danger. And, likely to humor her simple little brother, she let me believe I was needed for such a purpose. But it seemed I had been a burden to her the whole time. Just a little kid shadowing her around the city.

By the Void, I was so lost after she left. So I just kept doing the only thing I felt I was good at. I fought, and I put all of myself into it. I accomplished so much through just that one skill. My Blade Verbana victory, my time as a Grand Serkonan Guard soldier, my acknowledgement by the Duke himself. But it didn’t quite feel the same doing all those things for myself. After all, I was just Corvo Attano.

But then came Jessamine. I fell so easily into the role of Royal Protector, it was as if I’d been made for the position. After all, I’d already spent most of my childhood trailing after someone with bigger dreams than myself and scaring off anyone who dared threaten her. Protecting Jessamine gave me purpose again.

Then of course there was Emily. Our beautiful daughter, perfect in every way. The first time I held her, slumbering sweetly mere hours after her birth, I told myself that I’d finally done it. I’d brought into my life people I loved who wanted and valued my protection. I was needed. Life was as perfect as it could get for someone like me. I wouldn’t be cast aside, not as long as I remained of use to them…

But somewhere along the way I started falling short. I failed to protect Jessamine. It took me months to retrieve Emily after that. And all those years later I once again let my daughter fall victim to those who wished to harm her for their personal gain.

The one thing I thought myself good at, the one thing that I was able to offer to my loved ones, I failed at. Time and time again I let them down. Perhaps I’ve never been any good at protecting people in the first place. Beatrici must have seen the writing on the wall and left before I had the chance to disappoint.

So truth be told, I’ve been suspecting most of my life that I may be good for nothing. But what finally solidifies it for me is this current moment I find myself in. I’m lying in a growing pool of my own blood and looking up to see my only remaining family directing her blade at the man I love.

It’s clear that I've failed once again.

Continue reading on Archive of Our Own…

[sehunniepotwrites]

my goodness 🥹 U HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME 🥹🥹🥹 i feel so loved rn <3 but OMG why do all your ideas sound so INTERESTING 🤩🤩🤩 i can't wait to read them all it has been such a long time since i've read nice pieces (but partially also because i don't even know where or who is even writing on here anym :/ ) BUT I RLY CANT WAIT for the jae one 😊😊😊 there's a reason why im peach afterall hehehehe <3

oh my you graduated!!! 🤡 how much have i missed in your life seriously :/ but your job sounds rly exciting!! im glad that you're doing whatchu wanna do please make sure that as much as it gets tiring, u r still taking care of urself and finding ways to stay positive!! 😊 ouhie and don't stress over writing too much! i'm sure everyone doesn't mind waiting at all so no stress!! hehehehe wb life outside of work!! have u been spending good time w your friends and family too?

my LIFE has been constantly changing hehehe i think the last time i updated u was before i even went to university and now im already in my third year of university 🥹🥹🥹 time rly rly flies 🫣 im SOOOO busy and it's SOOOOO tiring but im just trying to take it easy and to handle everything that comes my way step by step. well the only thing that is extremely tough for me now and is rly taking a huge toll on me is my LDR :/ (yes i somehow found a male peach while i was gone jdienfkenfj) but well male peach is on exchange and rn i have managed to pull through half of it, and in dec everything will be back to normal!! its just rly tiring because of the time diff between us and just generally because of my insecurities and the unfortunate circumstances of male peach's exchange that all the other hoomans on exchange w male peach r females 🤡 but ILL TELL U SLOWLY ABOUT ALL THESE <3

love, 🍑 that misses u loads!!

AH YES I GRADUATED <333 I HAVE A MASTER'S DEGREE NOW!!! today was really rough so seeing your msg really brightened up my day. trying to stay pos through all the struggles, man.

i've gotten a bit of my social life back after graduation so that's great. did lots of traveling--i met smoll-tangerine (queenie) and ppangjae (alex) over the summer hehehe!!! besties finally meeting irl!!! going out and grabbing drinks and singing karaoke with my friends is always a great time. but istg, some of the situations in my life are like a fanfic, bro i can't believe these things actually happened. even queenie and alex were like nik, wtf!!!!! and guess WHAT? imma write stories based on those experiences too!

i'd LOVE to hear more about how you've been!! omg third year already?? time really flies, huh! and yay male peach!!! ldr's are rough, i had some experience with that, so i get you there.

and as for fics, all my ideas are so fleshed out in my mind, i really wish i could put the image in my head into my docs!!! and since you're my lil peach, here's a bit of my jae ideas for you:

drowning in your love

GENRE. childhood best friends to enemies to lovers, college!au, swimmer!au PAIRING. (long distance) swimmer!jaehyun x (sprinter) swimmer!reader PREVIEW. Jeong Jaehyun has always known how to swim, in fact, he excelled at it—the sport was a part of his very soul. But for once in his life, he wanted to experience what it was like to drown. To succumb to the feeling of being overwhelmed. Of battling bated breath.  And it was all because of you. Jaehyun realized that he was completely infatuated with every fiber of your being. Winning gold at a meet, being observed by recruiters didn’t even compare to the amount of happiness he felt whenever he was near you.  The boy wanted nothing more than to drown in your essence, your whole being. Even more so, Jeong Jaehyun simply wanted to drown in your love.

hits different

SYNOPSIS. Many people have heard of the saying, “always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” This particular saying, more than others, has always applied to you. You believe love exists for others and that it will never be in the cards for you. You’ve experienced your one true love so early on in your life and lost it,  you don’t think you can ever love again. Unfortunate and sad as it seems, you’ve accepted the role of the bridesmaid with your entire heart so why not capitalize it? You are now one of the hottest (and secretive) commodities in the wedding scene–a bridesmaid for hire–and you are thriving in your growing business. But what if your latest gig leads you back to the love that you lost? Will assisting in the wedding planning be as easy as a summer’s breeze or as harsh as a winter storm? Will seeing him again in a different light hit differently as the last time you saw him or will it bring back all the memories of your biggest heartbreak? PAIRING. Rich Boy!Jaehyun x Poor Girl!Y/ NGENRE. Exes-to-Lovers!AU | Wedding! AU | Bridesmaid-for-Hire!AU | Arranged Marriage!AU

[endless-ineffabilities]

preview - in the shadow of your heart (part two/final)

Daemon Targaryen x f!reader

part one ▪︎ masterlist

Thanks everyone for all the lovely feedback for part one. Part two's on the way, already clocking in at 7k words, but I think I've got a bit more to write. Here's a passage from it to tide you guys over. No taglist for this preview, but I've taken note of everyone who asked to be tagged for part two!

He remembers you as he sits in the courtyard. He remembers the way you cheered for him while he trained, the way you sneered at his opponents, cussed at them even. The intensity in your expression was almost too much at times; you were so invested in his insignificant, little displays of skill. You were always there for him.

He remembers you when he strolls into the gardens, where you first met. You had been reading in solitude that fateful afternoon, your brows furrowed over a passage that baffled you. Something about witches in the histories of Westeros, you told him afterward. He responded, “Why, do you fear you might be a witch yourself? You certainly possess the ferocity.” So brazen, you thought, so intriguing. So this is Prince Daemon Targaryen.

“Careful now, my prince. I just might put a spell on you.” you smiled at him, the very first time. He thought you very comely, but then again, he thought the same of several dozen other ladies. You thought him inexplicable, his reputation preceding him. The Rogue Prince, the rebellious second son. The patron saint of delinquents and whores, Otto Hightower once told your father. But you thought him entrancing. Different. Dangerous. That very night, he filled your dreams. Since then, Daemon Targaryen became your sun.

He sees you kissing Cregan Stark, and he sees red. He feels ill, fueled with rage. The way the Stark boy curls his fingers firmly on your waist, drawing you close, he wishes he had done that. He wishes he had pulled you close when you wiped the sweat from his forehead on those days you watched him train. In those moments when he was overcome with emotion and you would hold his hand. He had walked away, or turned to someone of no consequence, when he could have held you. When he could have kissed you, much better than the Stark boy kisses you now.

Every part of him wishes to end the Stark boy’s life. He wants to strike him down in front of you. He wants you to look at him as you used to.

But seven hells, Viserys would cast him out for good. You would never forgive him. You would never speak to him again.

And he can’t have that. He can’t live with that. He won’t.

He needs you, he knows this now.

He loves you, he is certain.

You had become Daemon Targaryen’s sun. As he was once yours.

☀️

Update: read the complete part two here.

[alwayslovingharry]

Break My Heart Again

A/N: I'm sorry I've been missing for the last month, I've been busy with university stuff and then I've been on holidays and I didn't have the computer to continue writing.

The last thing I posted was a preview of this chapter of this story that I'm going to start publishing. I hope you like it, this story has been my baby for a long time, and I look forward to start posting more of my own stuff soon.

PAIRING: Harry Styles x Hailey Foster (1Dmember!reader)

WORD COUNT: 3.9k

WARNING: Like i said, I'm not an english native speaker, maybe there are some mistakes.

SUMMARY: Just days after his mother's death Louis is performing on XFactor and the band is there to support him at such a difficult time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11/12/2016

Louis starts to leave the stage and I immediately get up from the backstage box where I'm sitting to go and look for him at the exit of the stage. I watched how Louis was on the verge of tears as Simon spoke. I knew he needed to do this performance in honour of his mother, but that doesn't mean he was ready.

Peeking out onto the stage, careful that no one in the audience can see me, I watch as Louis comes towards me along with Steve Aoki. He walks looking at the floor, avoiding eye contact with anyone, until he looks up and sees me. I smile, trying to comfort him.

"Hails" he murmurs as he rushes over to me and hugs me tightly. "You came... but… you said you had to go to Los Angeles."

"How could I miss your first performance? I couldn't forgive myself."

"Thank you." I smile as Louis pulls me a little tighter against him. 

"You did great, Lou." I say as I stroke his back with my hands, trying to comfort him."That was a blast."

"Do you think she would have liked it?"

"She would have loved Louis, wherever she is, she'll be proud of you..."

"I love you Hails," he murmurs after a while in silence, his voice a little raspier than before.

"I love you too Lou." I answer and he pulls away from me a little, letting me see his red nose and eyes. "Let's go to your dressing room, I'm sure you need to rest after that performance."

"I'm also going to my dressing room, I'll see you later Louis." Steve, who had been standing behind Louis while we were hugging each other, says goodbye to me with a wave of his hand before turning and leaving. 

As we walk to his dressing room, Lou keeps his right arm around my shoulders, keeping me close to him at all times. Some of the backstage workers stare at us, because our gestures might say we're something more, but we've always been friends. Ever since we started talking to each other in the cafeteria on the XFactor sets before bootcamp and being put in the band together, the rest is history.

Because of our close friendship, there were always rumours that we had something going on, but we have always ignored everything. We don't care what other people think... Louis is like a big brother to me and nobody will change that.

When we get to the dressing room, Louis opens the door and suddenly we're both trapped in a suffocating embrace. 

"Guys, I can't breathe" I mumble against Niall's chest and immediately they both let go of Louis and me. 

I already knew the guys were going to be in the dressing room waiting, as soon as we knew Louis had decided he was going to do this performance we decided he would need our support. Both Liam and Niall hadn't been able to be around Louis during Johannah's last few days, so they thought the least they could do was support him in this appearance. 

"Tommo, that performance was amazing." Liam says with a smile. 

"Everything was brutal, until Simon opened his big mouth as usual, but your performance was just awesome." 

"Thank you guys so much, thank you for everything." Louis replies, hugging them both, pulling away shortly after to add. “I could never have wished for better friends than you guys are.”

"Hey, I'm here too, I need my ego boost too, Loueh." says a voice behind us. 

No no no no no, not you now.

"Your ego is already big enough without me having to boost it more." I notice how Louis turns to Harry and I can hear them give each other a hug, but I still don't move. 

I haven't seen Harry since the last band performance, I haven't spoken directly to him since then and I had no plans on doing so any time soon. I know Harry had also helped Louis during his mother's last days in the hospital just like me, but I think we were both deliberately avoiding each other because we never ran into each other at any point. 

When I finally turn around, I see Harry and Louis hugging each other. The first thing that strikes me is seeing Harry with short hair for the first time in person, I had only seen him on instagram posts. He always said he'd kept his hair so long so he could donate but in my opinion, now that I finally see him in person, him with this short hair or even the hair he had when he started growing it out gives him a Disney prince vibe and it suits him the most. 

While I'm standing here in the middle of the dressing room barely moving, Niall and Liam also come over to hug Harry, the three of them have kept in touch during this year and have seen each other a few times according to what they told me. 

"Hi Hails," Harry greets me after the boys have greeted each other, as he walks next to Liam towards the couch in the dressing room. 

"Hi."

They all sit on the couch or in the chairs around the dressing room, reminding me of the old days when we all gathered in a dressing room after a concert. I sit on the floor as usual and we start talking, mostly about Louis' great performance and how we had to cheat the people who run our schedules to be here. 

I should be in Los Angeles right now. 

Slowly we start to reminisce about anecdotes, confirming to me that I'm not the only one that this situation has reminded me of the old days. Time passes quickly and just when I decide to ask if anyone has thought of a time when we should get back together as a band, Liam looks at his watch. 

"I should go, it's late and I don't like to leave Cheryl alone, with the pregnancy lately she's had a few dizzy spells and I'm not too comfortable knowing she's home alone," he replies standing up, straightening his clothes. 

"I should probably get going too, I've got a meeting with the label tomorrow morning and I'd like to avoid looking like a panda for not getting enough sleep." Niall stands up too and so do I, so I can say goodbye to them. 

Louis, who is looking at his phone for the first time since his performance, looks up. 

"I have missed calls and messages from Lottie, Felicite and the twins, I should call them again, I'll walk you out," Louis replies as he stands up and grabs his jacket from the coat rack by the door.

"I'm going too, let me-"

“Hails, I'm going to have a smoke, and I know you don't like smoking near you, so stay here with Harry. I'll be right back.”

I glance at Louis as he puts on his jacket. He knows exactly what my relationship with Harry is like at the moment and I can see what his intentions are by forcing me to stay with him in the dressing room alone. I may not be able to stand cigarette smoke, but Louis is aware that when he smokes and I'm around we both make sure the smoke doesn't come towards me. 

"I'll get revenge for this, Louis Tomlinson..." I think, Niall and Liam are saying goodbye to Harry while Louis is grabbing his pack of cigarettes from the make up table.

The first one to come up to me to say goodbye is Niall. “We need to meet up before either of us leave London, you need to hear my new album, it's going to be the best debut album you're ever going to hear."

"Is it Taylor Swift by Taylor Swift? Because that's the best debut album I've ever heard."

"Even better," Niall laughs and we hug.

"Irish, let go of our Hailey, I want to hug her too," Liam complains getting Niall to stop hugging me.

"I have to make the most of it, seeing Hailey lately is like seeing Halley's comet, you only see her once every 75 years."

"You guys aren't exactly easy to get in touch with either," I laugh and Liam gives me one of his bear hugs.

"Tell me you'll come and meet my son when he's born."

"I promise Li," I reply just before we stop hugging and Liam smiles at me.

 "I know you're fans of our dear Hailey, but I want to call my sisters before Pheebs and Daisy end up asleep on the couch waiting for me to call them," Louis says snapping to attention, he had leaned next to the door and now had one hand on the doorknob. 

“Come on Niall, looks like Tommo needs a cigarette to relax," Liam replies and looks back at me, "Hailey, you promised me, you have to come.”

"I'll try to come as soon as possible, don't worry."

"Bye Hails," Niall says goodbye giving me a kiss on the cheek before walking out with Liam and Louis through the dressing room door. 

As the boys walk out and the door closes, the dressing room goes silent. I have my back to Harry but I can feel his beautiful green eyes watching every move I make. The silence between us makes me nervous but I prefer this to saying something that shouldn't be said.

After a few seconds of standing by the door, I sit down in the chair at the make-up table. He hasn't moved from his sitting position on the couch since the goodbye hug with Liam, so my back is to him. 

"I like your short hair, but I was a fan of your long hair," I hear Harry say.

"You're not the only one who wanted to donate his hair.” I reply turning my chair around to see him on the couch, looking directly at him for the first time in a year." Short hair suits you, Styles.”

Harry smiles with his typical shyness when he gets a compliment as he runs a hand through his hair, a habit he must still have after having such long hair for so long. 

I missed that smile.

"So... how are you? Any projects? Any albums? 

"At the moment I'm taking a break from writing, making albums and touring, I needed some peace time, maybe I'll do some modelling, maybe even if the opportunity presents itself some acting." I reply but Harry remains silent, as if waiting for me to make the next move. "What about you? I heard that besides a film you were preparing an album. "

"Yeah...the movie is done but the album I just started, it's...weird being able to do everything the way I want on an album, my own music." Harry still seems to be as measured with his words as ever, but there's something about him that makes me think he's changed, it's like he gives off an aura of confidence with everything he says or does." I'm going to go to Jamaica in a few weeks to continue recording, composing and take a break from everyone chasing me. Only my family, my closest team members and the label know I'm leaving...well, and now you."

"Last spring I went on a 3 month trip all over Europe. Just me and Olive. Only Jack, James, Louis, my parents and Olive's family knew we were travelling, no one else knew. I felt free for the first time in a long time, there were no shows, no touring, no records to make. Getting away from the cameras and living the way you want to live...if you go to Jamaica I have a feeling that it will be the best time you've had in years, I promise. "

We are silent again, this time not as tense as before. Despite everything that's happened between us, Harry and I still know each other and I hope I'll always feel comfortable with him.

"How is Olive doing, is she still doing photography?"

"She is now doing a one-year course in make-up and hairdressing. She finished her Film and Media degree in June and now she thought she wanted to learn a bit more about hair and make-up for her art photos," I reply, I know Harry and Liv got on well from the first moment they met and I know they lost touch after the band split up... and because I stopped talking to Harry, of course. "And yes, she's still taking photos. Our trip to Europe was thanks to a job she was offered, photographing the different destinations in a travel guide. She needed to travel for work and I needed to disconnect, so I decided to join her. 

"I always liked her photos, she knew how to capture the exact moment... I would like to talk to her again, but we never gave each other a phone number or an email. "

"Let me have your mobile, I'll text you her number," I reply as I pull out and unlock my iPhone, Harry nods and does the same with his and reaches over to hand me his mobile with his contact list open.

"Thanks, I'll text her as soon as I can, maybe she can help me with the pictures for the album." he thanks me as I hand him back his iPhone with my friend's number on it. 

"She'd love that." she smiled and we both fall silent again, I turn back around so I can see myself in the vanity mirror.

"Are you still with Jack?" asks Harry after a while, snapping me out of my own thoughts, I knew at some point he would ask that or drop it.

"Yeah."

"That's...that's great."

"Your mother told me that Jack is planning on asking me to marry him soon," I confess as I turn back to look at him, seeing how he's stopped being as relaxed as before and has a more tense posture. 

"When he asks you, will you say yes?" Harry asks as he gets up from the couch. 

"I think...I don't know, our relationship is fine, but I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life together with him."

"How am I going to think about spending my life with someone else if you exist, Harry Styles." 

Harry walks towards me and I could swear he's grown even more since the last time I saw him. He walks confidently, until he's a step away from the chair I'm sitting in, staring at me with his gorgeous green eyes. 

Did suits always looked so good on you?

"H...what are you doing?"

"It's been a long time since I've seen your eyes up close, Hails, has anyone told you they look like the blue of the sky? 

"Harry...don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You know I am, and I have a boyfriend, you can't do that thing where you stare into my eyes.” 

"I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just looking at you."

"No, you can't just stand there and tell me things like my eyes are like the sea or act like I don't have a boyfriend who isn't you. "

Harry drops his head as he sighs wearily and I can see how he seems to deny before he lifts his head back up to stare at me again. 

"I don't know when I fucked up, or how I fucked up to make it seem like I don't mean anything to you, but just the thought that someone who isn't me might wake up seeing your eyes for the rest of the days of his life next to him...it pisses me off...so much."

Why the fuck do you have to be so...so you, Harry?! Saying that kind of nice things!!!! 

"Harry, it's not your fault that...I never felt anything but physical attraction to you. "

"Hailey, stop with the usual 'I just want to have sex with you' routine because we both know from the beginning that it couldn't be more of a lie," Harry replies with his usual calmness, placing his hands on top of the arms of the chair, scooting even closer to me and trapping me against the back of the chair." If it was really just sexual attraction, you wouldn't have cut off all contact with me as soon as the band broke up, with the rest of the guys you've talked to but not answered any of my texts or calls." 

"I have a partner, I had to avoid the temptation to...talk to you...see you..." I hesitate as I stare at his lips, as pink as ever. 

"And why is that? If you're just physically attracted to me, you shouldn't mind reading a text and texting me back." 

Damn you, Harry Styles, I think as he pulls his face even closer to mine, leaving only a couple of inches before our noses touch. 

"Please accept that you want a kiss as much as I do." Harry runs his tongue over his lips, wetting them, causing them to be even pinker than before. 

"We can't...I can't." I reply, closing my eyes. 

If I keep staring at his eyes or his mouth one more second I might die....

"You've always said that and I don't understand why, most of the time before we've ended up tangled in the sheets together without you caring about Jack. I can't tell the difference now," I notice how Harry pulls his face slightly away from mine, but keeps his hands on top of the arms of the chair. 

If I told you...

"I'm with Jack, I can't cheat on him..."

"And you were with him before too..."

"But now I know Jack loves me, I can't do that to him..."

"You know I've been in love with you since long before you met him, Hailey, probably since we met" I know and I'm so sorry, Harry" I was asking you out on dates and you refused saying you weren't looking for anything serious, you meet this stupid businessman at a gala, he asks you out on a date and you give it to him. Does that seem fair? 

No 

"Management was always forcing me to go out with different girls but they all realised that my heart belonged to another girl...even Kendall almost forced me to go ask you out after our last failed date attempt! "

"Harry... "I finally open my eyes as I notice Harry stop leaning on my chair and walk away. 

"Why can't I get you out of my head, Hailey? Why are you like a poison that's taken over me?" he asks me as he rubs his hands over his face. 

"I would tell you why if I could, I really would...I'm so sorry...I-" someone knocks on the door, interrupting me. 

"Hails?" I hear Louis' voice from outside. "I ran into Jack outside, he said he's here looking for you. "

"Hailey, honey, you weren't answering my calls and I found Louis smoking at the back door." I hear Jack say from outside. 

Harry looks at me, his eyes are completely red and his hair is completely disheveled unlike before when it was neatly combed. I hate to see him suffer, he doesn't deserve everything he has suffered because of me. 

"I'll be right out, give me two minutes," I shout to warn Louis and Jack. 

"If he proposes, please don't accept," Harry whispers as I stand up. 

"He's been my boyfriend for over 3 years, I can't so easily say no to marrying him because you say so."

"Please." pleads Harry taking my wrist gently before I walk out the door." I need to know that I still have a chance, please. "

"Goodbye Harry, it was nice to see you again." I reply letting go of his grip with ease. 

Without further ado I open the door, finding both Jack and Lou waiting in the hallway. 

There you are," Jack says, coming over to give me a quick little kiss on the cheek. "Louis told me you'd fallen asleep on the couch in the dressing room and he'd taken the opportunity to go out for a smoke. "

"When I left with Niall and Liam I was asleep like an angel," Louis lies. 

"I told you I'd get a taxi, Jack, you didn't have to come..."

"I know, but I got out late from a company meeting, " typical, Jack leaving a company meeting late" I thought it would be a good idea to come and pick up my beautiful girlfriend. "

"That was nice of you," I pretend to be flattered, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "You can head out to the car, I want to say goodbye to Lou. "

"Hailey..."

"I'll be 2 minutes, come on go," I ask with pleading eyes, getting him to just nod and walk away saying goodbye to Lou with a simple handshake.

 "I'm going to kill you, Tomlinson" I threaten Louis once Jack has left and it's just the two of us. "You left me alone with Harry, you idiot!"

"Tell me he kissed you, or better yet, did you kiss him?"

"Louis, you can't play cupid with Harry and me, you know you can't."

"For God's sake, I'm sick of hearing you two complaining about love, I had to try something to shut you up for once. By hook or by crook. " 

"Louis, you know perfectly well we can't even if you try to get us together. There are contracts!"

"Fuck the contracts, dump the office stiff you have for a boyfriend and fuck Harry, you both need it."

"LOUIS!" I shout, covering his mouth, hoping no one had heard him. 

"I just want to see you happy Hailey, see you both happy," Louis speaks from under my hand. 

"I know..." I reply taking my hand away from Louis' mouth. "But you leaving us alone I don't think was the best idea...I think you should go into the dressing room, I'm sure Harry will need you right now."

"You can't leave this poor boy with a broken heart every time he sees you."

"I hate having to hurt him every time he tries to get close to me, it's not like I wish all this on him and you have to comfort him."

"And me having to do it to him. Anyway, we'll both be bitter and comforting each other tonight, don't worry." sighs Louis shaking his head. "Do you want me to call tomorrow before I go back to Doncaster? We could meet for breakfast at that place next to my house."

"Whatever you want, I'm free tomorrow." 

"Then I'll call you tomorrow to decide when we' ll meet."

"Yep, please try to get some decent rest today."

"I'll try, don't worry" he smiles tiredly before hugging me. "You know, I'm sure at some point they'll let you two be together, you'll get married and have like 15 kids after releasing about half a dozen albums dedicated to each other."  

"I hope that happens before Harry gets bored of me or hates me," I say forcing a smile as we stop hugging. 

"He'll never get bored of you, love."

And I decide to try to believe it.

to continue...

next part

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Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it, please leave any comments or leave a like it if you enjoyed it.

See you soon :)

[miraculouscontent]

It’s heeeeere! Another summasalt, this time with nearly twice the length of the first one!

(Turns out that not having caffeine doesn’t help me talk any slower.)

Script below:

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Rocketear?

Can you Rocketear the newest episode apart with your salt, my beloved Salt Queen?

Penny for your thoughts on Rocketear?

Aw, anon! You can have that for free! I'm a generous goddess.

"Rocketear" begins with Chat Noir and Carapace - just Carapace, really - holding back a pack of what I presume to be the physical manifestation of the writing staff's age, or at least a representation of how behind the times the writing seems.

Just as the dinosaurs break through Shellter. Ladybug shows up with the scientist who revived the dinosaurs in the first place and said scientist uses a whistle to calm the dinosaurs down. There's also a line from Bob Roth about putting the dinosaurs in a theme park to make money and I know what it's referencing but it's so incredibly random that it doesn't really come off as a proper joke.

Carapace was notably sad right after battle, but insisted that he was fine when Ladybug asked. Rena, sporting a... - I would like to say "new design" but it's a recolor in every sense of the word - is hiding behind part of a building and smiles after the heroes before walking off. Ladybug takes Nino's miraculous back but sees that he's still upset and asks him again what's wrong. Nino asks where Alya was and Ladybug claims that she only needed Carapace for the job, which cheers him up but only until Ladybug is already gone.

Mm, I guess Nino and Adrien relate in heroism not being enough for them unless they have their respective love interest to flirt with.

Also, I know this is an obvious set-up, but the show can't tell me that Ladybug just always brought Nino and Alya whenever she needed one of them. Season 3 required her to go to Master Fu to get the miraculouses, and unless she already knew that Nino and Alya would be in the same location - which, okay, the show does basically shove the two of them together whenever Nino is onscreen, fair, if two characters are in a relationship in this show then it's weird for them to NOT be with that person - but it just seems like a gamble, not to mention proof to Shadow Moth that the two are close if Ladybug constantly brings both of them.

Anyway, Ladybug goes into the sewer and asks Rena if she's seen any sign of Shadow Moth or his traps. Rena didn't see anything and they de-transform. Marinette is about to leave when she thinks of something, but Alya assumes it's about her new look, which was apparently not voluntary on her part and the suit automatically adapted to Alya's new role as Rena Furtive, which she has now named it as.

Marinette reminds her that this is supposed to be a secret and that they agreed that the fox has no owner. When Alya is evasive about whether she told Nino that she won't be Rena anymore, Marinette stresses that everyone needs to believe that Alya won't be using a miraculous anymore so that she can remain an undercover spy.

What's the point in changing the look if you're not going to show yourself anyway? I mean, insurance, I guess, but still.

Alya, exasperated, parrots what Marinette has apparently told her before: that she helps Ladybug with Mirage in case Shadow Moth tries to follow her so Rena can follow him instead. Marinette stresses the situation again and Alya tries to get Marinette to agree on her telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, but Marinette refuses.

At Marinette's house, Alya talks further and explains that she doesn't know if she can lie to Nino since they don't keep any secrets--Alya, babe, you kept Rena Rouge from him and didn't tell him that you knew he was Carapace until Ladybug was forced to give you your miraculouses at the same time. I don't wanna hear it.

Marinette states that it's too late for that and also not technically a lie, but Alya gets upset and says that Nino will never trust her again if he finds out that she kept something from him. Marinette brings up how she had to keep secrets from Alya too, but they're interrupted by Tom appearing and wanting to play games with them. Marinette makes an excuse about homework that she's repeated many times, as Tom comments that the teachers give her too much. After Tom is kicked out - hang on, lemme just... - Marinette uses the moment to show Alya that she's lied to her family a lot and hasn't played games with her father in months. She states that there's no other option as they have to protect their identities, and Alya agrees to talk to Nino.

In Alya's room - I just presume at this point that Nino's house doesn't exist and Chris is an illusion - Alya tells Nino that they need to talk, but stammers and states that it's hard to talk about. Nino thinks that she wants to break up with him, but Alya assures that she loves him. She finally gets to the cover story that Rena herself made up in "Sentibubbler" and Nino understands, sad that she won't be around anymore but agreeing if it's what Ladybug thinks is best.

Is it weird that Nino respects Ladybug's wishes more than Alya does?

Nino hugs her and is confused by why Alya was nervous to tell him, as she can tell him anything and nothing will change their relationship. Alya feels guilty and hugs back, murmuring about how they don't have any secrets; that's not what Nino said, but sure, push this plot to its already predictable conclusion. I mean, I thought it was vaguely sweet that Nino switched to seriousness immediately when Alya said that she wanted to talk, but how am I supposed to be invested in this couple when their dynamic boils down to "STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN who wears the pants in the relationship because her boyfriend is portrayed as a wimpy coward"? Like, the show constantly dragged Nino down to make Alya look "powerful" by comparison, and then when it comes to characters like Marinette, we get a girl who works very well outside of her relationship with her endgame love interest.

It's the fakest form of "girl power," dragging guys down to raise girls up or actually making a strong girl character but having her love interest be a weakness that creates flaws in her that weren't there originally and having that love interest be who she's "destined for."

I'm rambling, sorry.

In class, Marinette assures Alya that she did the right thing and Alya agrees. As they're leaving school, Marinette talks about how their "night walks" start soon, and Alya non-subtly talks about how Rena Furtive will be on the lookout while Ladybug and Chat Noir patrol. She stops, however, as gets excited about some pictures she took of herself as Rena Furtive, which has a lot of details that Marinette hasn't seen. I don't know whether to groan at what I just heard or remind everyone that Rena Furtive is literally just a recolor and therefore this is the writers patting themselves on the back for this design, so let's just move on.

Alya then shows Marinette her phone--AUGH, MY EYES--and suggests making a poll on her Ladyblog so people can vote for their favorite Rena design. Marinette has to stress again that Rena Furtive is supposed to be a spy and thus invisible, which Alya admits that she forgot about.

Okay, I've been holding off on talking about this, but now seems like the best time to bring it up. Alya has been a trash friend as well as a trash confidant, and her role as Rena Rouge boiled down to, "it was convenient for her to be the fox at the time it was needed." She's not particularly stealthy like one would expect of a fox, and she was easily one of the worst candidates to be told Marinette's big secret. I'll get more into this later, but I have to stress that Alya has treated Marinette no differently since learning of Marinette's identity and has already gone against Marinette's orders once before at the time of this episode airing. Episodes are constantly torn between validating their decision to have Marinette tell Alya, having Marinette be worried about the decision while the show considers her to be ridiculous for it, and then having Alya either consider or make choices that clearly don't gel well with what's good for her role. Much like Marinette, she lacks a sense of self-control and--wow, a female character who's impulsive, never seen that stereotype before.

Point being, "Sentibubbler" stressed over and over that Alya was the right choice and deserved to be both the permanent fox and the understudy for guardian, but then we have "Rocketear" here where Alya is making basic emotionally-driven errors that I'm not even remotely sympathetic to when Marinette has gone through so much worse over the course of three+ seasons.

*sigh*

Alya laments that it's hard to find new content for the Ladyblog - ah, yes, tell me more about your struggles, Alya - but figures that at least she can post stuff about Chat Noir instead of--I don't know--making fake Ladybug theories to lead people off Marinette's trail. Marinette says that it's a great idea, though Alya still doesn't look too happy. The scene then rewinds to a little bit to show a different point of view, this time with Adrien and Nino. Wait, this feels familiar, wasn't there another episode that did something like--ohhhh no, this is going to hurt.

After saying good-bye to Adrien - something I wish I could do every time he's mentioned or on-screen - Nino catches the bit of conversation where Alya talks about the Ladyblog. Nino talks as if Marinette isn't there and asks Alya out to the movies because Marinette is chopped liver and this is about Alya and how sad she is, guys.

Wow, she's turning into Adrien faster and faster.

Alya hesitates, but Marinette assures her that there's still time. Alya excitedly runs off with Nino and they watch what I presume are previews given the narrator, featuring recycled footage from the Ladybug PV. Nino is upset because Rena is mentioned but not Carapace, and the preview features Rena telling Chat Noir to forget Ladybug because it's Chat and Rena herself who are trulu made for each other.

I don't know what's funnier; the complete lack of self-awareness or the suggestion that a biracial couple would exist in this show outside of a special that gives them maybe a minute of screentime and acts more like suggestive canon anyway. I think I might've been too generous with that line about dinosaurs.

Nino is offended by the preview and Alya brushes off his comments, stating that it's just a cartoon and it's made to entertain people, though Nino himself is certainly not entertained. Can't say I entirely blame him considering that Alya doesn't really try to say anything substantial or even agree with him. No cuddling or reassuring kisses, she just gets slightly sad and turns to her phone for a bit.

After the movie, Nino is cheered back up again until he catches Alya on her phone once more. He offers to take her home, but she's distracted, and he comments that what she showed to Marinette looked pretty nice; I don't know because they didn't show it. Nino asks what it was and Alya evades the question, stating that her battery is running out. Nino is suspicious, but spots Andre's ice cream cart and the two head over there. Andre calls them his favorite couple and asks what they want, but Alya sees Ladybug gesturing for her and has to run off, giving Nino a cheek kiss as she goes which feels like too little too late at this point.

Nino catches some conveniently-placed kids arguing over who Chat Noir loves, but they settle on the fact that girls in general love Chat Noir. Nino is then seen at the Seine watching the Ladyblog's latest video, where Alya is talking up how amazing Chat Noir is. I hate to stop every five seconds to complain - okay, actually I don't - but I presume this video must've been made after the movie since Nino seems like the type who would actively follow his girlfriend's blog, yet not only is this video perfectly set up to echo the kids and the movie preview, but Alya - despite apparently caring about her boyfriend soooo much that she kept trying to convince Marinette to bend the rules - didn't even try to warn Nino or text him so he doesn't take it too seriously. It's like "Sentibubbler" with the conflicting messages about identity rules; Alya cares about her boyfriend but both isn't thinking about how he'll take the things she says and apparently doesn't know him well enough to realize that he wouldn't be mad over her keeping a secret that she was told to keep. I already talked about how they play up Nino to be the emotionally weaker one of the relationship, but then they don't have Alya try to cover or make up for that. She's been acting very much not like Alya - you know, the one who in "Sapotis" practically bragged about how great she'd be at covering for Ladybug - with her stutters and weak excuses, so I can't completely blame Nino for being upset after everything that's happened when he sees the writers projecting onto Alya as she talks about how Chat Noir is brave and funny and cute and showing all these images of him as well. I don't agree with all of his actions, but--oh yeah, speaking of which--

Nino calls Adrien and is talking to him about how Alya must be in love with someone else. Adrien dismisses the idea, as Alya and Nino are together basically all the time, and asks who she could possibly be in love with. When Nino suggests that it's Chat Noir, Adrien laughs and jokes about it being Fang instead. Nino points out the video but Adrien did see it but is overall unphased and convinced that it means nothing. Nino says that he'll find proof and hangs up, but Adrien is certain he'll find nothing. Plagg comments that Nino will find someone because Plagg's charisma has definitely contaminated Adrien.

Ugh.

Adrien expresses concern that he put on the cat's charm too much and accidentally made Alya fall for him, and decides to visit Alya as Chat Noir to be sure.

Meanwhile, we get a reference to film noirs as Nino narrates. That's the second blatant reference this episode and now I feel like they wrote this script while doing a movie marathon.

Chat Noir arrives at Alya's house and Trixx hides before Alya opens the curtains to reveal her surprise guest. Nino is nearby watching the scene with his phone as Alya wonders aloud if something's wrong. Chat assures that everything's fine, but brings up the video she posted. He insists that it made him happy, but points out that she's been following him and Ladybug since the beginning and that they know each other much better due to everything that's happened. He has some conveniently-worded dialog as he starts to say that he hopes something's just an illusion and Alya gets worried that he's about to bring up Rena. Chat continues and clarifies that he wonders if she started to feel something for him, though adds that he understands because just look at him.

UGGGGH.

Chat clarifies by making a heart with his hands, which Nino sees. Alya laughs at this gesture and states that she has a boyfriend, doing the same heart gesture and suggesting that her love for Nino is even more than that. Chat Noir apologizes - hm, I didn't know he had the capacity to do that - and hugs Alya, saying that he was just confused.

An absolutely unnecessary hug for two people who, at least in terms of their current selves, have had very little screentime together, but this is also the show where making eye contact basically means your friends and it's all just to push the plot along so Nino inteprets that Alya is in love with Chat Noir, so whatever I guess.

Alya states that Nino is far more irresistable than Chat, then adds that she doesn't even know his secret identity, and she'd never fall in love with someone she doesn't know. Nino then runs away upset and the scene cuts away to the next day where--

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second. Two things right off the bat there.

First off, we're just gonna sidle past that "wouldn't fall in love with someone you don't know the identity of" while ignoring the existence of the love square? Not even Chat thinking about how he doesn't know Ladybug's identity and trying to excuse that he doesn't have to? This guy is that certain of their relationship?

Secondly, Nino is practically sobbing and Shadow Moth doesn't take this as his opportunity? Same guy who akumatized Mr. Pigeon 72 times and has akumatized Gigantitan more than once? What is this pacing???

But--alright, so Adrien comes into school and sees Nino, still dressed up in his detective gear, which gets ignored completely as Adrien goes to tell him about Chat Noir and Alya. Because the show doesn't know how Adrien would convey this within reason, Nino interrupts him, taking him down into the lower part of the school where he has a desk and chairs set up. Adrien goes to ask when Nino had time to do this, but Nino slams his hand on the desk to cut him off. Nino presents the evidence he took and they go back and forth, likewise with Adrien turning off the background music while Nino turns it back on. Adrien insists that it's a misunderstanding, but pleads innocent when Nino asks how he knows. Adrien states that Alya is just a superhero fan and that she and Chat Noir have nothing in common.

Again, the complete lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Adrien repeats what Alya said about secret identities and how she wouldn't fall for someone she doesn't know - they're really ignoring this, aren't they? - and continues hitting Nino's soft spots about how unlikely it is until Nino decides to tell Adrien something he's not supposed to.

He tells Adrien, not only that Alya is Rena Rouge, but that he's Carapace. Adrien goes through a range of emotions beyond sAD for once, shocked at the fact that they know each other's identities. Nino states that they don't keep secrets from each other, except now Alya is with Chat Noir. Adrien still doesn't understand and brings up how secret identities have to be protected, or else Nino wouldn't have told him because Ladybug wouldn't agree to it.

Oh, here we go. So that's why they waited.

Nino states that it was Ladybug herself who gave them their miraculouses at the same time; not giving the reason why, of course, nor pointing out that they're temporary heroes so there's understandably some leeway. Adrien is having a moment, but manages to bring the subject back to Alya and Chat Noir, who he still doesn't think are a thing. Nino argues that it's because Adrien doesn't know Chat Noir, but he does because he's Carapace and knows how Chat Noir acts. He says that it's all flowers and confessions when Ladybug appears, but he gets rejected because Ladybug thinks that he's annoying, and she's right. He adds that Chat flirts with Rena Rouge and that's all that needs to happen, with Chat stepping in on the first mission Carapace lost in. Nino laments the loss of the love of his life and wishes to shut Chat Noir up forever; we all do, Nino, we all do. Shadow Moth finally steps in with - oh, less than eight minutes left in the episode, yikes - and Nino is akumatized into Rocketear.

Rocketear rejects Adrien's pleas to stop, insisting that Chat Noir is who he's after, not Adrien, and Adrien transforms in sad fashion despite Plagg's reminder of who Rocketear is after. Alya, meanwhile, is in the art club with Marinette - wait, since when was Alya in the art club - telling Marinette about how Chat Noir thought she was into him due to the video, which Marinette groans at. There's an earthquake and they peek outside to see Rocketear firing his tears at Chat Noir, shouting that he stole Alya from him. Chat Noir tries to tell him otherwise, but Rocketear won't listen.

Alya groans at Nino doing this, then she and Marinette set off to find a place to transform. They conveniently go to the same place Adrien and Nino were, so they see the desk that Nino had set up.

Genuine question, how seriously does this episode want me to take itself, because now when I recount all the unnecessary love square drama in my head - because you know that's where this is going - I'm going to have to think, "Nino, dressed in a detective outfit, ripped off his fake mustache and told Adrien both his and Rena's identities, and also that Ladybug was totally cool with it and thinks that Chat Noir is annoying."

Gettin' two completely different vibes here. The episode clearly wants to be important but it doesn't take itself seriously either, which it totally could while including enough jokes to keep things light. Instead, I'm just left scratching my head and wondering what tone they're going for.

Marinette finds Nino's phone on the desk - I'm calling continuity error on that one because he at no point put it on the desk, at least not on-screen - and she questions Alya on the video she sees. Alya insists that nothing happened, apparently completely unphased by her boyfriend having spied on her, and says that he wouldn't have misunderstood if he'd heard the actual conversation.

The two transform and Ladybug immediately uses Lucky Charm, receiving a projector. Ladybug is clueless and Rena Furtive suggests creating an imaginary movie like Nino. Ladybug gets an idea, remembering Alya's earlier comments, and Rena confirms that she remembers every word of it.

Aaaaand, just like that, all of the tension has been completely sucked away. You know, "Backwarder" was a trash episode, but at least when Ladybug was showing every step of her plan, she didn't tell us what it was.

Meanwhile, Rocketear and Chat Noir are still arguing--I started zoning out at hearing the same thing over and over again at this point, so I just presume they were fighting over who does stuff behind their love interest's backs better; I don't think they came to an agreement but they're both losers anyway.

Chat Noir says that he'll prove his innocence, tossing his baton aside to show him giving up, but Rocketear points out that it proves nothing and strikes Chat Noir with his tears.

Our endgame love interest, everyone. Straight As yet about as smart as a sack of bricks, and that at least won't flirt with anyone non-consensually.

Chat Noir makes a point that he doesn't want to hurt Rocketear, and Shadow Moth tells Rocketear to take his miraculous before finishing him. Chat Noir can only weakly tell him not to before Ladybug snags Rocketear's wrist and diverts the shot. Ladybug explains to Rocketear about the projector and how it'll let him hear the audio of the recording he took. She adds that she doesn't know what Chat said, but she trusts him.

Marinette, I'm sorry, I feel so bad for you.

Ladybug turns on the projector and Rocketear relaxes at actually hearing what was going on. Rena then de-transforms and hurries out to meet with Rocketear, hugging him as Rocketear apologizes for doubting her. Alya also kinda sorta apologizes in a way I don't understand and Rocketear then breaks his akumatization, very casually, all on his own.

Yeah, just--casually, in a matter of seconds in fact. You know, it's really sad when people resisting akumatizations are more tense and emotionally compelling than them breaking them. This is twice in one season now and has zero impact considering that Nino's reason for being akumatized was already taken care of so he had no reason to stay akumatized anyway. Him breaking his own object to release the akuma would've at least been different, but instead it's just a repeat of what Alya went through with even less tension considering that Alya's wasn't even that good in the first place, relying on her relationship to Ladybug rather than who she knew to be her best friend.

Moving on, Ladybug captures the akuma and uses Miraculous Ladybug to bring everything back to normal. Shadow Moth monologues about how love and secrets don't go well together and he's sure that she has a lot and I'll talk about this later.

Ladybug hands over the magical charm, which Nino takes but insists that he won't need it, as he'll never let Shadow Moth use his love to manipulate him again. Plenty of other things to get akumatized over, but they gave the supposedly ace character a robot to help him stick out and also gave the supposedly aro character a miraculous back in season one to give her more importance. If characters aren't in love then they need something to ceompensate for it.

Nino apologizes to Chat Noir for being wrong and Chat Noir assures him that everyone has doubts, even him. He gets sad and Ladybug asks him what's wrong, but he insists that he's fine - officially throwing away his right to be upset at her later as far as I'm concerned - and they do their usual fist buuuuu--

...Really?

Everyone then splits up and Chat Noir sulks by himself instead of--you know, talking to Ladybug, or asking her anything, or making any sort of excuse for her because that would mean he actually has faith in her and understands that their partnership is different from temporary heroes, even if the excuse was as basic as her wanting to protect him more than the others because he would be that egotistical if they didn't want to stretch out this unnecessary drama.

Later on, Adrien is staring at a picture on the Ladyblog that might be a metaphor for the show considering how "in the foreground" Chat Noir and Rena are.

Adrien vents about Ladybug giving miraculouses to Alya and Nino, but Plagg states that she's the guardian. Adrien clarifies that he's referring to Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities, but Plagg doesn't see the issue. Adrien gets huffy and asks why the rule exists for LadyNoir but not Ninya, but Plagg again points out that she's the guardian, so she makes the rules, though obviously he uses cheese metaphors to convey it.

Okay, Plagg is only, like--half-right because he doesn't have all the information. If you don't mind me rambling for a bit, I'm on the fence here because, on one hand--yes, I agree that Marinette should be allowed to make her own rules, and I often do that in my writing because I think she should be permitted leeway in order to let herself be happy, but on the other hand, it's not technically her rule, as she had to let Alya and Nino in on their identities back in the Season 2 finale, so Fu was still around for a season. She wasn't even guardian yet!

Now, presumably so the fandom could blame Marinette if anything happened, Marinette never discussed this with Fu on-screen, so I can't say whether or not Fu knew, but I feel like he must've since Marinette had to have told him the heroes' identities off-screen, given "Party Crasher," and thus I imagine that Marinette would tell Fu everything that happened, which is consistent with what she does on-screen even if she'd keep things from him for a little while.

"Furious Fu" had also established that not even Master Fu followed rules completely, meaning that Marinette is in this awkward spot of mostly following what Fu taught her, which aren't all guardian rules anyway, and having to break the rules on occasion for various purposes. I can't say what Fu approved of and what he didn't, because episodes spend so much time on the love square that they forget about Marinette as a person and how she interacts with everyone else. From an emotional standpoint, I can't blame Marinette for not revoking the miraculouses of people whose identities get discovered because of her, as I imagine she feels guilty and it probably doesn't seem fair to force them into another miraculous or have them be entirely without one because of a mistake that she made, meaning that someone needs to be throwing a lot of red flags for Marinette to be through with them.

Though obviously, from the show's standpoint, it's just an excuse to not make new models, but I complained about that enough in "Sentibubbler" and this episode even went out of its way to design a detective model for Nino while spraypainting Alya's bodysuit in the same breath, so this is the world we live in.

Anyway, Marinette is essentially in this position where she still has Fu's rules hovering over her, but she's also trying to step out on her own and make her own decisions to varying degrees of success or failure depending on your point of view. Tikki--wait, no, bad idea--Su-Han then, could easily give input on these things, perhaps with Marinette discussing a modern day set of rules for someone her age and going back and forth with Su-Han on what the right choices to make are, finding something that's comfortable but within a realm of predictable control. Su-Han was okay with some rules being broken after seeing how Ladybug handled them and they could've easily made this episode about that instead, but instead, we get rules being set and then being broken on a writer's whim.

Which now brings us to the end of the episode, where Marinette is on the phone with Alya and apologizes for causing trouble between her and Nino. Alya tells her not to worry and she'll fix things - you know, those things that, to Marinette's knowledge, have already been fixed - and asks if Marinette trusts her. Marinette does, and Alya hangs up in order to face Nino.

Yeah, that feeling of dread in your stomach? That means you know how predictable the writing is and what's about to happen, good for you.

Alya explains that she has to tell Nino something and he's worried, this time trying to sheepishly break the tension. She explains that she's still Rena Rouge, much to Nino's shock, and adds that she's in hiding, which is why Ladybug didn't want her to tell anyone. Nino asks why she's telling him if she's not supposed to tell anyone - proving my point from a while back that he wouldn't have been upset had she kept it a secret - then asks if Ladybug agreed with it.

I want to give him a pat on the back for considering Ladybug, but he didn't even tell her when he had the chance that Adrien knows his identity now, so I'm just beaten down at this point.

Instead of answering the question directly, Alya says that she can't hide her identity from him because she loves him and they don't have secrets.

You know, like Nino telling Adrien about Rena's identity, or Alya saying specifically that she's a permanent holder, which I'm sure both of them will confess to since they said that they don't have--aaaaand the episode ends on happy triumphant music, okay.

I mean, I guess Alya at least didn't tell him that Marinette was Ladybug, but that is such a low bar and not even remotely worthy of congratulations when Alya told Nino the specific thing that Marinette told Alya not to tell; the thing that they had agreed on.

Nino wasn't upset anymore. He won't be getting akumatized either. Alya endured the supposed hardship of being a permanent fox holder for four episodes before breaking down and telling her boyfriend. Even her excuse doesn't hold any water because, again, they're both still technically keeping a secret, particularly Alya who knows Marinette's identity as Ladybug. The episode also apparently forgets that Alya and Marinette's friendship must not be as strong by her logic of telling Nino specifically everything, as Alya kept Rena Rouge a secret from Marinette for all of Season 3, but tells Nino about continuing to be Rena Rouge in Season 4. Boyfriends before BFFs without explicitly saying it, or to be more specific, whatever screws Marinette over the most, because that's what this comes down to, made worse by "Optigami" where Marinette told Alya that she'd tell her everything and I guess that doesn't go both ways.

"Sentibubbler" had Alya stress that no one would ever know. She promised Marinette and told Marinette to trust her, and the episode spent its entire running time talking her up and assuring Marinette that she was the right choice, even considering Marinette ridiculous for worrying when Alya had done something without Marinette's permission the episode right before it. Then, three episodes after "Sentibubbler," when Marinette is finally comfortable and trusts Alya completely, Alya betrays that trust. Nino betrayed that trust, knowing he wasn't supposed to do so but telling Adrien his and Rena's identity anyway, because he was losing an argument and needed to PROVE something.

Marinette gives them an inch and they take a mile. Marinette bent the rules so that they could continue to have the miraculous they'd started with and they disrespected her because it was hard for like a day.

And if this bites them back, it won't reflect poorly on them, it'll reflect poorly on Marinette.

It's not like Alya just overrode Marinette. She didn't go, "Hey, I'm telling Nino, I'm sorry," or tried her hardest to go back and forth with Marinette until they both agreed. No, she did what she told Marinette she wouldn't do without saying a word to her, because LOVE and SEEEECRETS.

And this only applies to her, of course, because don't think I didn't notice the parallels between this episode and "Truth," because WOW.

Episode begins with Marinette hoping for something and it blows up in her face? A date at the cinema that ends on a sour note? Plot-centric couple trying to get Andre's ice cream and the female with a secret needing to leave in a hurry? Boyfriend character getting akumatized over their girlfriend's secret? Boyfriend assumes/suggests that the girlfriend's secret involves Aaaaaadrien - or his alter-ego in "Rocketear"'s case - and the episode hints as much to him even though he's completely wrong? Akuma's colors are blue and black? THE BRIDGE?

But, ahhh, little difference, here and there, y'know, like how Marinette was forced to break up with her boyfriend while Alya got to keep hers, and Nino got to have long talks with Alya while Luka got little to nothing with Marinette.

Because do note that Alya, while trying to convince Marinette and talk to Nino about not keeping secrets, at no point suggests that Marinette deserves to be happy and deserves to have a boyfriend and that Marinette should be allowed to tell Luka her secret so they can get back together, so you have Alya here selfishly prioritizing her relationship with Nino while making no comment about Marinette's relationship, essentially asking Marinette to allow her what Marinette herself didn't have the luxury of, and Alya knows this because Marinette told her. It is both incredibly insensitive of Alya and incredibly insulting of the show to make so many parallels between this episode and "Truth" just to have everything crash down for Marinette because she's Marinette while everything goes well for Alya and Nino because they're not Marinette.

We've talked before about the formulas that are literally baked into the show, and one of those is how Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and has to learn from it. What that mistake is in this episode, I don't know, but considering that she apologizes for Alya and Nino's problems, I guess the show blames her for what they themselves had taught her.

Point being, there's a clear karma system in place, but it only applies to Marinette, and forcing her to mess up in every episode means that she is literally not allowed to be with Luka because had she been able to clear things up between them, he would've eagerly accepted her and they could've been happy. It'd be too difficult for her to mess up when Luka doesn't put mountains of pressure and expectations on her like everyone else. Factor that in with how she can be herself around him and it leads to situation that are too difficult for her to screw up in because her mistakes - more often than not - center around Adrien or her role as guardian.

And because another rule in the show is to bring up Adrien so they don't "lose him for too long," she can't avoid bringing him up either. If he's not in the plot, he has to be mentioned, leaving Marinette in a lose-lose situation that she'll never be free from.

So, let me just get this straight then:

The guy who spied on his girlfriend instead of talking to her about his assumptions gets to keep his girlfriend, not because he realized it was wrong regardless of whether he was correct or not, but because the situation had been cleared up for him, yet the guy who actively resisted his akumatization, saddened by his girlfriend's secrets but wanting her to share them when she was ready, gets broken up with and tossed to the wayside because he's not a rich blond boy who got a miraculous because he happened to be within the twenty meters of space where Fu was searching for new holders?

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who has gone against the wishes and insistence of her best friend - guardian of the miraculouses, by the way, so she calls the shots, something that Alya herself said in "Optigami" BEFORE GOING ON TO DO HER OWN THING IN THE SAME EPISODE AND BEING REWARDED FOR IT - is allowed to go against the wishes and insistence of her best friend again for the sake of "all love, no secrets" with her boyfriend and so she can have the happy ending she wants, yet the girl who was chosen for a miraculous without her consent, forced to screw up and talk about a random boy who doesn't even go out of his way to spend time with her, treated like absolute trash by writers who find humor in her misery, and is the only one to receive overly harsh and long-lasting consequences for her actions while also covering up and forgiving the actions of others within the episode where they do it...

doesn't get her happy ending, and won't ever get her happy ending. That thing Shadow Moth said about love and secrets not going well together? Yeah, only goes as far as the writers want it to, because both Nino and Alya still have secrets, and some of the ones they did tell each other were forced by someone else and kept until that very moment. This idea that people in love have to tell each other everything and that it makes a relationship stronger makes me immensely uncomfortable, and that lesson is also in "Guiltrip."

People should be allowed their secrets, and obviously there are exceptions for things that are being hidden with malicious intent, but being essentially forced to share everything or risk not having a "full and complete" relationship is stifling and sounds like it'd only cause stress.

This episode sucks. It furthers and confirms everything I've already thought about the show, Nino's screentime continues to be dependent on Adrien, Alya, or both, there are pointless references that completely take me out of the experience, and the utter betrayal from Alya and supposed message of the episode just reminds me that Marinette is inevitably going to be stuck with a guy who didn't even DO anything in this episode and is going to let himself stew instead of asking for any sort of clarifications from someone he apparently trusts so much.

So the takeaway is that Marinette's life is awful, she'll be forced to apologize for rules that she didn't even come up with herself, her best friend will walk all over her for the sake of her relationship with a guy - not even for the sake, really, they were going to be fine, it was more for HER personal comfort if anything - and the guy who actually makes Marinette happy and could've known her identity instead BECAUSE HE AT LEAST DIDN'T HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF SPILLING HER SECRETS gets treated in the exact same way that she does; like nothing, just something to abuse unfairly.

What a waste of an episode.

[leviaju]

forgiveness

pairing: belphegor x GN! reader, hints of everyone x reader

words: 8.1k+

genre: angst, fluff at the beginning and a bit at the end if u squint

warnings: mentions of mc and lilith’s death, foul language

preview: “I’m sorry,” He begins, voice much weaker than anticipated. “I know that will never cut it, and it will never be enough, but I’m sorry.” 

“You’re right, Belphegor. It won’t cut it.”

hey guys what up. so... i’ve done a lot of thinking about belphegor’s dynamic with MC, and, like many others, was really bothered by the sudden switch after... he killed them. u know. typical stuff. i wanted to fill in the gaps!!! if im being completely honest, this has sat in my wips for.... like half a year. it’s my first time writing for obey me, so i hope that everyone’s not too terribly ooc LOL

anyways yeah. i mention how belphegor killed mc a couple of times, so proceed with caution! hopefully, if i get any ideas, the next stuff i write will be a lot lighter. hope you enjoy! (also requests r open soooooooo)

The weight on your chest crushed your rib cage, threatening to snap your bones like they were nothing more than twigs. All you could see was the pitch black of eternal night, and whether your eyes were opened or closed you couldn’t tell. What commanded your attention was the searing pain in your lungs, growing exponentially every half-second, and the unrelenting grip that was slowly shattering your esophagus. No matter how hard you struggled, squirmed and fought against the weight holding your body down, there was no use. It was pointless. The pain spread from the raging fire in your lungs to the tips of your fingertips, and everywhere felt as if you had been set aflame. Slowly, a light illuminated the force keeping you down. 

You couldn’t make out much, save for the cackle that rang insufferably through your ears, and the intense eyes that were staring you down. 

They held no remorse. 

-

Bones ache as you rest against your bed, finally allowing the tension in your muscles to melt away. You’d never mistake this feeling for regret of a busy day, having spent so much time with the people you care about, but it certainly took its toll on you. 

It began with Satan, who’d asked you the night before to accompany him on an early morning walk. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence — he’d invite you to join his morning routine on every day off, and you’d never refuse — hence, at the wonderful time of 7:00am, you were venturing around the Devildom, hand in hand with the Avatar of Wrath. The two of you would walk, occasionally resting on a park bench for longer than either of you would like to admit, for about an hour and a half before you took an official break. The time was filled with pleasant chatter and comfortable silence. Every so often he’d squeeze your hand, and when you’d look over, the fondest of smiles crossed his face. It was a reminder of how glad he was that you joined him. 

At around 8:30, he took you into a café for breakfast, and two of you spent only about thirty minutes there chattering away happily. For the most part, he was vividly and excitedly discussing a book he’d just finished the night before…

Until you were interrupted.

“Hello, lovely!” Asmodeus wrapped his arms around you from behind, just before pressing a kiss on your cheek. Satan sighed, resting his head in his hand as he watched the interaction. 

“My selfish older brother’s been hogging you all morning, I couldn’t help but want to whisk you away!”

Despite the glare Satan was sending his way, Asmodeus took a seat next to you, happily engaging in conversation as he completely ignored his brother. He told you that the mall was opening in about an hour, and Asmo desperately wished to get his perfectly-manicured hands on a new makeup product being revealed that day. 

“But of course I can’t go alone! How positively dreary that would be.” His fingers twined with yours as he looked at you hopefully, and you ran your thumb across his hand. A sheepish smile crept its way onto your lips, and you looked over at Satan. He simply nodded, flicking his hand as a gesture for you two to leave, and Asmodeus didn’t hesitate. He was quick to stand and pull you with them, holding tight to you as he whisked you away. You called out to Satan, now alone at the table with a reluctant smile on his face as he waved goodbye. 

“Thanks for breakfast! Get home safe!”

You almost missed the chuckle that left his lips, the café door closing behind you. 

Asmodeus kept you until noon. He got a hold of the lipstick he wanted almost right away, but insisted on buying an outfit to match the colour. Regardless of what you’d initially thought, the outfit wasn’t for him.

“Oh, we’ll look positively stunning together!” He exclaimed after about two hours of forcing you in and out of changing rooms, putting his hands all over you to “adjust the clothing” as he deemed necessary. Near the end, you could feel soreness deep in your muscles creeping in from such an active morning, but Asmodeus’ cheery face and constant flirtations helped you forget about it almost completely. 

It wasn’t until you got home that you truly felt the effects of on-and-off walking since early in the morning. Be that as it may, your stomach was growling, loudly reminding you that it was now past lunch. As much as you wished to give up on food for the time being and instead head to your room to collapse, the pain in your belly was enough to urge you to cease any arguments, instead ready to try and ignore the ache in your bones in order to quell the angry rumbling of your stomach. 

Unfortunately, when you finally made it to the kitchen, there was no food prepared. Instead, what you found was a dejected Beelzebub, frowning softly as he once again was at the receiving end of a lecture from the eldest of his brothers. As quiet as possible, you snuck into the kitchen, trying to listen in on their conversation. 

There was silence, followed by a sigh. 

“It’s easier to simply ask what’s going on as opposed to trying to eavesdrop, MC.”

You jumped, then bashfully made your way into the kitchen, a sheepish grin on your face. Lucifer was rubbing his temple. 

“Beelzebub was supposed to be on lunch duty, but ended up ‘taste-testing’ to the extent that he ate it all. Again.” Lucifer sighed. The typically perfect eldest brother was being run ragged, if the bags forming under his eyes told you anything. “So, instead of working on the papers I have to get finished for tonight, I’m stuck making lunch while he cleans up.”

Beelzebub’s frown tugged at your heartstrings, and in spite of the exhaustion clawing relentlessly at your bones, you relented. 

“Why don’t I help? Four hands are better than two,” you proposed, and a small smile graced Lucifer’s face. He lifted his hand to brush the disheveled black hair out of his face, and your chest ached just a bit at the sight. You made a mental note to drag him to bed for a nap the next time you saw him like this.

“That would be more than welcome. Please, if you may.” Already you turned to start working, but Lucifer’s voice made you pause. 

“But no feeding Beel. He’s eaten more than his fill already, he can wait until we’re all done.”

Needless to say, every so often you’d slip Beelzebub a piece of chopped vegetable or cooked meat, and he’d very happily (but quietly!) munch away, his expression radiating warmth and joy. And Lucifer, who seemed to almost be omniscient at times, never once mentioned it. Once the three of you were done cooking, Lucifer placed his hand on your head, patting you gently. 

“Good work, MC. I must leave now, but I trust that the two of you will be able to clean everything up. Your help was much appreciated. You will be paid back in kind for all of your hard work.”

If nothing else, the slight blush on Lucifer’s face as he ever-so-gently pressed his lips to the crown of your head was more than enough payment. 

“Thank you.” Beelzebub cleared his throat, washing the dishes as you dried them. “I… Thanks for helping. And feeding me.”

His smile warmed your heart, and you nodded, bumping your arm with his gently. The small bit of pink that dusted his cheeks compelled you to coddle him, but you resisted the urge. Barely.

“Anytime, big guy.”

After you ate lunch, the only thought in your mind was the prospect of curling up under your covers and passing out. The fretful, broken sleep the night before wasn’t helping at all in keeping you awake, and that on top of the rest of the day’s events had you yearning for the feeling of your pillows. 

Unfortunately, you hadn’t even made it through the door when your phone began to blow up, one notification after the other in quick succession.

GGKKJFLFJG

MC

CMOE QUIC K

PLS

SUPE R RARE EVENT IN MONONONOKE 

PELASE 

YOU HVE TO BE PARTNERED WIHT SOMEONE TO GTE THE PRIZE

MC

MC

PL E A S E

HURRYHURRYHURRYHURRYHURRYHHHUUURRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY

You found yourself in Leviathan’s room, sat in his lap as he explained the event to you. Your half-asleep brain did its best to keep up with his quick speech, but that, along with the warmth of his chest against your back, became the most soothing lullaby. 

“Hey! Normie! I agreed to let you sit here so I could easily help you through the event, but if you’re going to fall asleep on me, I’m pushing you off—“

“I’m awake! I’m awake. 

...Now, what was I supposed to do?”

The unintentional giggle that escaped your lips at his expression caused Leviathan to huff, exasperated, despite the flush of his face. Diligently, however, he thoroughly explained the event, for the second time, and the method to obtain the rare prize: a level 2000 I’m Going To Murder You So Hard That You’ll Come Back To Life Just To Die Again Death Sycthe, the strongest weapon ever released in the game. It was a partner event, which explained Leviathan’s desperate and urgent request for aid. You didn’t mind though. While yes, you’d probably never be able to get to his level of gamer, you were more than happy to go along for the ride. It made him happy! 

Leviathan rested his chin against your shoulder as he played on his phone, focused to such a degree that the usually easy-to-fluster demon was completely unphased by your proximity. Your phone, set to AutoFight, rested untouched near Leviathan’s leg, abandoned on the floor. You watched him expertly take out enemies that would have one-hit KO’d you through heavy eyelids, and every time he beat a wave of enemies, his attention would momentarily avert from the screen, looking at you from the corner of his eye expectantly. A kiss on his cheek was more than enough to motivate him to continue on, albeit with a pink glow on his cheeks until his attention was once again completely wrapped up in the game at his fingertips. 

-

“Levi! I said open up, goddamnit!” 

The pounding against the door was enough to distract Leviathan from his game, subsequently killing his character in the process. He groaned, cursing the demon who interrupted the two of you as he gently lifted you off of his lap, before getting up to open the door. 

“The hell do you want?!”

To be completely honest, you were so wrapped up in watching Leviathan play his games that you had forgotten about your weekly movie night with Mammon, who had come over to his younger brother’s room to drag your ungrateful ass  back to your own. Leviathan had cleared the event in Mononoke Land hours ago, but not wanting you to leave just yet, invited you to keep watching him play. Setting aside how tired you were, how could you say no? You’d wanted to spend time with him, too. 

Unfortunately, you lost track of time, and your phone, battery completely drained from the event, rested uselessly in your pocket. A consequence of this happened to be missing the countless messages and calls Mammon had sent your way, before he began his hunt for you throughout the house. The last place he checked was, of course, Leviathan’s room.

“Come on, human, I ain’t got all day. No one keeps the Great Mammon waiting!” 

“Except for MC,” you heard Leviathan mumble under his breath, and a laugh escaped you before you had the chance to slap a hand over your mouth. Mammon flushed deeply, before striding into his brother’s room. 

“Hey, wait, you moron! I never said—!” 

The force of Mammon throwing you over your shoulder wasn’t enough to hurt, but it certainly was enough to leave you breathless for a moment. “Let’s go, fragile human. I picked the perfect movie already.” Mammon’s words came out in a bashful mumble, but he had enough courage to lift his head and smirk at Leviathan as he carried you out of the room. All you could do was smile apologetically at the blue haired demon before Mammon turned, bringing you out of sight. 

Mammon was all complaints as he carried you to your bedroom, but you knew it came from a place of love. Even though he’d never admit it, you could tell he was hurt by you unintentionally ignoring him. Because of this, instead of demanding he let you down, you allowed him to hold you like this, not a single complaint leaving your lips. 

When he brought you to your room, you were set on the bed you’d missed dearly and he went to put the movie in the player. 

“Hey! No sleepin’ on me, alright? I wanna watch the movie with ya, and I can’t if you’re passed out, now can I?” 

And so here you are now, bed frame creaking as Mammon climbs onto the mattress. Rubbing your eyes, you nod, and lean into him once he gets close enough for you to. 

“Seriously, I’m gonna hafta have a serious talk with Levi,” Mammon grumbles, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you in so that you’re almost in his lap. He pulls the blankets over the two of you as you rest your head on his chest, and hum quietly in return. “He used up all your energy, and now we won’t be able to get to enjoy the movie as much! Honestly…”

The vibrations of Mammon’s words can be felt through his chest, and you simply cuddle into him more and try to train your bleary eyes on the television screen. The Avatar of Greed shuts up completely when you take his hand in yours and press a gentle kiss to it, before doing your best to focus on the movie. As time passes, however, the idea of giving into your whims grows more than tempting, and oh-so-easy for you to do. 

-

“Hey! Yo, MC! Seriously… You’re hopeless.”

A chiding, yet gentle voice draws you from the confines of rest. You puff air from your nose in response, cuddling closer to whatever it was that had been so comfortable in the first place.

“MC… Come on. Ya gotta wake up, ya didn’t even watch any of the movie! It was really good, y’know.”

Mammon’s hand rubs circles on your back as you mumble incoherently, a noise to acknowledge the fact that he‘s been talking, and that you are indeed awake now. 

It takes a good amount of time, as well as some gentle encouragement from Mammon, to get you to finally open your heavy eyes, and even longer for you to be able to apologize to him for missing out on the movie he was so excited to watch. He pouts a bit, but the blush on the highs of his cheeks lets you know that he didn’t mind all that much. You smile and yawn, and his chuckle resonates in your ears. 

“I gotta go now, otherwise Lucifer’s gonna kill me for staying so late. Sorry I woke ya up, but ya look so tired now that you’ll probably fall back asleep right away.”

And so, after a quick goodbye and a kiss on the cheek (which made Mammon turn the prettiest shade of red), you close your door and… sigh. If you had been able to stay asleep, the fact that you aren’t in pajamas and haven't brushed your teeth wouldn't be that much of an issue. Now that you‘re slightly more conscious, however, it’s hard to convince yourself to simply climb back into bed. Your breath is bugging you a bit, and the jeans you’re wearing certainly aren’t at all as comfortable as your pajama pants.  For that reason, to your own dismay, you begin getting ready for bed — properly this time. 

A small “finally…” tumbles from your lips after you finish your nighttime routine. Lacking any form of grace, you plop into bed once more and pull the blankets to your chin, nuzzling into the pillow. Your bed still smells like Mammon’s cologne, and you hum softly to yourself before closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to take over once more, and hold you hostage until late in the morning. 

Alas, sleep seemed to be evading you now, similar to how you had ignored it during the day. The mattress you lay on simply isn't comfortable anymore, and the blankets that hug your body cause you to overheat. Unfortunately, if even one limb is out of the blanket, you get so cold you start shivering. None of your typical sleeping positions are anywhere near as effective as they typically are, and you’re left to wrestle with sleep alone, hoping to beat it into submission so you can finally get some proper rest. 

After about 45 minutes of tossing and turning with no results, you finally relent. The nap you’d taken while watching the movie royally fucked you over, and you groan. Eventually you decide to give up on trying to fall back asleep, and huff as you sit properly on your bed. 

Blanket dragging behind you as it drapes from your shoulders, you slowly make your way through the silent hallways of the House of Lamentation. The only sounds floating through the walls were the light buzz of electricity running through the wiring of the house, and your own footsteps as you began walking up one of the many staircases in the large building. 

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been walking, the passage of time different at night to a hazy mind, but eventually you arrive at your favourite area in the house, second only to your lush bedroom. There are no artificial lights, only the gentle cast of the night sky providing the ideas of shape in the planetarium. You’ve never seen stars so vibrant and bright, and there are so many more in the Devildom than anywhere you could go back home. Even though the only light comes from the stars, it’s enough to create soft, fuzzy edges around everything in the room; this includes the bundle of various blankets mussed in the centre of the floor. Slowly, cautiously, you make your way towards the pile. 

Since you’d arrived in the Devildom, the planetarium at the top of the House of Lamentation became your safe haven. Your room, without a lock on the door, was way too easy for intruding demons to enter without permission, and on nights when everything became too much for you to handle, you’d head up to the planetarium to clear your mind. There’s just something so calming about a starry sky on a clear night that releases you of your fears and anxiety, and helps you get a grip on the situation around you. 

After freeing a certain someone from their attic-based captivity, however, you learned that the planetarium was a place favored not only by you. Since he’d been freed, you’d been kind, but there were still fears plaguing your mind, reminding you of everything that has transpired between the two of you. It’s something that you can’t escape, following you even - especially - in your sleep, when you wished you’d be the most at peace. It makes sense, considering the sin he embodies, but you wish it wasn’t like that nonetheless. 

Once you’d learned that this was one of his favourite rooms in the house, especially on nights when he can’t fall asleep, you found yourself avoiding this area. It’s not that you hate him; it’s the opposite, really. Nevertheless, you can’t help but feel the tightening of his fingers around your neck, and the burning sensation in your lungs that’s screaming for oxygen, and the desperation to alleviate the seer of deprivation. 

Still, you trek on. Closer and closer to the pile of blankets, your gut cries to you to run away. You ignore it. The nearer you get to the nest of blankets, the faster your heart beats, the more lightheaded you feel. But you continue. 

Eventually you get close enough to make out the shape of a familiar pillow, the cow print on the case worn and well-loved. From the moment you walked in the room, you knew he was here. All the same, you walk on, and the only sounds in the room are the gentle taps of your clothed feet against the tile, and the quiet noises of your quickened breaths.

You’ve avoided being alone with him since… Since you… Since the event. Your heart screamed at you to forgive him, to love him just as much as you love his brothers. That said, there’s nothing in you that can stop your stomach from churning whenever he gets too close. 

Butterflies beat aggressively within your heart and stomach, and it’s years before you get within his range of sight, but you sit down on the floor, holding the blanket tight to your body. 

There’s one beat, 

two beats,

three beats of silence before you can hear him sucking in a breath through his teeth. In your peripheral you can see his lips parting, closing, parting again as he tries to find the words. He heard you walk in, and was pleasantly surprised when you didn’t immediately bolt in the opposite direction. However, this proximity leaves him with an entirely new predicament. He wants to talk to you, he wants to laugh and joke with you the way his brothers do, but one look at your face and he notices the dark bags under your eyes, and the frown that tugs at your lips as you stare up at the stars. He can hear your heart racing, and feel his own in the tips of his fingers. He opens his mouth again, but the crack in his voice betrays his usual collected personality. 

“I’ll go,” Belphegor begins, begrudgingly starting to gather his blankets. His body freezes when his eyes pass over your figure and you’re looking right at him, through him, and he swears he can feel the blood in his veins stop pumping. Your expression is unreadable, almost scary, and he’s never in his life been in fear of a human until this moment. 

The seconds pass as years do, both of your bodies chilled to the bone but neither of you able to look away. In the end, the one who casts their gaze somewhere else is you, and he exhales loudly. 

“Don’t.”

Your reply is simple, but he’s stuck in place. Slowly, he nods, sitting down again the way he had been prior, and pulling his beloved pillow close to his chest. He can’t breathe, the tension suffocating. It doesn’t help that now you refuse to look at him. 

“... If you want,” he replies dumbly, staring at the floor. He feels trapped in place, afraid to move and scare you off. Despite every nerve in his body screaming at him to leave you be, he stays. You told him to, after all. Slowly, you sit down, his blankets creating a low wall between the two of you.

It’s only now that he gets a good look at you. You're tired, he knows, watching as your eyelids droop and your lazy movements when you get more comfortable under your blanket, but there’s more to it than just that. You seem so fragile, like sugar glass, breaking with even the slightest amount of pressure. He feels he can reach over and shatter you with the gentlest of touches, and that thought alone roots him in place. Since you came back, he’s never seen you without a smile. Your genuine smile was the prettiest, he decided rather early on, one that lights up your face and brightens those around you. Belphegor really, truly loves your smile.

He knows there was a point in time, not long ago, where he could have made it so no one saw it ever again. He can’t help but be grateful he didn’t succeed when he sees you smiling at his brothers. 

That’s never the smile you show him though. It’s not for lack of effort; you certainly try, and he loves you for that. But the smile you show him is always plastered on, and he knows you’re doing it for his sake. With Belphegor, your smile never reaches your eyes. Be that as it may, you’re never weak around him. Fake smiles prove exactly how strong you really are, but your heart races every time he enters the room. As much as he wishes your palpitations are out of excitement, he knows better than to give himself false hope. 

That’s why he’s so taken aback when he looks you over and you seem so vulnerable. Never, not in a million years, would he ever let himself believe that you’d allow yourself to look weak in front of him, not after what he did. Even so, here you are, shaking, knees drawn into your chest, and his heart soars because you’re showing him a new side to yourself. It aches at the knowledge that you’re feeling so vulnerable because of him. 

His eyes burn holes in the side of your head. You know he’s watching you, studying you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Not when the hands he uses to pull the blankets over his body are the exact same ones that led you to your untimely and violent demise, and not when every time you look at his face, you can also see Mammon’s above you, sobbing as he tries to will you not to fade away into nothingness. 

There’s no putting it nicely. You were murdered, and Belphegor was the one who killed you. As much as he tries to pretend it never happened, to act around you the same as his older brothers do, you would never forget. Neither would he, regardless of the effort he puts into pushing the memory out of his mind. His chosen way of coping was to laugh with you, to get close and have you forgive him without acknowledging the situation. It was too painful to talk about, after all. He willingly, happily snuffed out the life of someone his brothers love, and someone he’d find himself loving too. You became someone who changed him, helped him grow and be better. It was easier, simpler to act as if you’d met him the same way you’d met any of his brothers. 

Belphegor killed one of the last remaining parts of his past, a part that, while once warm and light, mutated and infected him, causing his anger to grow out of control, like a weed that suffocates any flower that tries to flourish. He killed a descendant of his sister, and the fact that you’re here now is more of a second chance than he thinks he could ever deserve in all his millenia of living. 

And yet, here you are. Scared and shaking, but here. The silence has stretched on for longer than he’d like; he wants to be able to love you, openly and happily, but knows it won’t happen. It can’t, unless he does what he thought was the very last thing he’d do. 

“I’m sorry,” Belphegor begins, voice much weaker than anticipated. He can hear your heartbeat pick up, and he curses himself mentally. Your lip between your teeth, you remain silent. His nerves force him to speak more. 

“I know that will never cut, and it will never be enough, but I’m sorry.”

There’s more silence. He feels like he can’t breathe, the tense atmosphere forcing its way around his throat and tightening its grip. He doesn’t know how long it takes you to even contemplate replying, let alone allow yourself to respond. Belphegor’s ears ring almost deafeningly loud. He can’t take it.

“You’re right.” 

His eyes, which he trained to the ground, dart up to your profile once more. You pause, wetting your lips. 

“You’re right, Belphegor. It won’t cut it.”

There’s not enough time to process your words before he really, really looks at you. Almost fearlessly, you meet his eyes. 

Almost fearlessly. 

The shaking of your hands betrays the strength of your voice. Belphegor’s chest aches. 

“But…”

There’s a pause as you speak. He can’t look away again, even as your eyes meet the stars once more. There’s no chance he’ll miss a word you say, even if it tears him apart.

“It’s… it’s really difficult. I know you know that, but…”

Each time you pause, Belphegor’s mind begins storming. He can’t figure out what you’re going to say, or how you’re going to react, and it drives him crazy. He’s usually so good at reading people, but you’re an enigma. It sends a chill down his spine. 

His throat is caught. Even if he had words to say, they wouldn’t be able to come out. So he sits in silence as you find your own. 

“I don’t want you to feel worse than you do.” You lick your lips. “Or maybe I do? I… I really don’t know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about you, Belphie.”

The nickname tugs at his heart, more than he could ever admit. He wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to do anything other than look at your melancholy face, knowing he’s the problem. He wants to run and hide, to sleep forever. He can’t, though. Not when you’re here. Not now. 

Knuckles turn white as he clutches desperately onto his pillow. His breath shakes as he draws in air. 

“I want to love you. I want to love you as much as I love your brothers, and care about you as much as I care for them…”

You struggle to find the words. 

“... But it’s hard.”

You curse your lack of eloquence. Now, of all times, when your words are the only thing that enable you to communicate how you truly feel, they fail you. This might be your only chance to ever properly show Belphegor how you feel, what makes you so conflicted every time he walks into the room with a smile on his face, and yet all you can say is “it’s hard”. Obviously. 

A breath finds its way into your lungs, and the sound of your lips parting in the otherwise silent planetarium echoes in your ears.

You continue.

“It’s hard because every time I see your face, or I hear your voice, or I-”, you falter, heart catching in your throat, “or you touch me, I can’t help but be reminded of what happened.”

Belphegor doesn’t dare tear his eyes away from your form. The grief that settles into his face perfectly matches your own, eyebrows upturned and bottom lip quivering just the slightest bit. Even the trembling of your hands is replicated in his own. He’s never seen you like this, so incredibly vulnerable, and it tears him apart inside to know that he is the cause of it.

A shuddery breath comes from Belphegor, and you fight your instincts to check if he’s okay. You know he isn’t.

The silence deafens you, thundering in your ears so harshly that you're tempted to place your hands at the side of your head to muffle how quiet it is. You don’t, however, and whether it’s because you don’t want to look crazy, or because you’re afraid you might shatter if you move, you’ll never know. Do you want him to talk? Do you want him to say anything? Do you want an apology?

If you had an answer for that, you’re sure that things would have patched themselves up much quicker than this. You caution a glance at Belphegor, and the weight pressing down on your chest gets heavier at his expression. It feels almost as if you can inhale the guilt he feels, the emotion radiating off of him in waves.

“I… Logically, Belphie, I get it.” Again with that cursed nickname. Usually, hearing it from your lips makes Belphegor feel warm and goddamn near giddy, but now it only seemed to drive the knife in his gut further. 

“I understand what happened and why you did it. I may not agree… but I get it, you know?” You swallow.

“In the end, I’m still here. And… and I’ve come to learn that you’re nothing like that anymore. You’ve grown, and changed, and the guilt and anger that consumed you took control, and that's why you-- that’s--” 

You pause, clutching the blanket around you to try and ground yourself. The shakiness in your voice is not missed by Belphegor, and even if it had been, there’s no way he’d be able to ignore the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. Slowly, subconsciously, one of your hands comes up to rest against your neck, a phantom of the grasp that once threatened to crush you.

“S-So… I understand why you did it. And I’m alive, and we’re friends, so it should all be okay, right?” Belphegor casts his glance away.

“But Belphie… as much as I want to forgive you, I also know that I’m never going to be able to forget what happened. It’s there in my dreams, and it’s there in your smile, and it’s there every single time your arm brushes mine and I flinch like a total loser.”

A weak chuckle makes its way out of your chest, and the halfhearted smile that follows forces a tear from your eye. You’re quick to wipe it away, hopefully quick enough so that it goes unnoticed by Belphegor.

It does.

What he does notice, however, is the frustration that holds tight to the edges of your sentences. The frustration is not directed at him, no. You would be yelling if that were the case, and maybe that would be easier for him to hear. No, this frustration is directed at yourself. You’ve been trying so hard, and all Belphegor has been doing is running away. His teeth dig so hard into his bottom lip, trying desperately not to show any anger he feels at himself, that he tastes iron.

“And then we became all buddy-buddy, you know? Like I was never lied to, or used, or manipulated, or-- or--”

Belphegor is torn from his self-pity when you continue, and he almost wishes you’d stop speaking. The thought that you might break him with your words has him shaking, and a feeling similar to fear courses heavily through his veins. Please, stop. He wants to go back to running away.

But you continue, as you always have.

“And I’m left not knowing how to feel. I’m so mad at myself for being such a coward and not being able to just get over it like everyone else, and I’m so fucking pissed that I can’t just exist around you like I do for everyone else. I mean, I used to be terrified of Lucifer, too.” Another fragile laugh, and you sweep the hair from your eyes with a shaky hand. Belphegor swallows hard.

“But I… I can’t pretend like nothing happened. As much as I want to be near you, and hug you, and take naps and play pranks on Luci with you… I can’t. I can’t act as if what I feel isn’t real, and what you did didn’t happen. It’s so hard, Belphegor.” You sigh, and finally look at him once more. He can’t meet your gaze, slumped over himself and hugging his pillow so tight to his chest it seems as if he wishes to disappear into it. “Especially because I really, truly want to understand why everyone loves you so much. And I want to love you, too. I want to know why Beel smiles every time you’re brought up in conversation, and I want to smile just the same. But… But right now, I can’t.”

Talking has gotten easier. The words that used to escape you have become accustomed to being used again, and confidence has restored in your gut. You sit a bit straighter as you watch Belphegor carefully, a sad smile lifting your cheeks. 

Belphegor knows that this is when he should swoop in, say something so intellectual that you’re caught off guard, and he can save you from… himself. This knowledge does nothing to save him from himself. He can’t even open his mouth to mime a sentence, let alone actually speak. The thought of how pathetic he must look settles under Belphegor’s skin, and he can feel his irritation rising. Not at you though, never at you. Not even when… When it all happened. His anger was misplaced, but he has never been angry at you.

Finally, when the quiet becomes too much, he forces himself to meet your gaze. The way you look at him, just as vulnerable and bare and scared as he is… he feels safe. He knows, even though your words sear his heart, that you never mean to hurt him, especially now. You’re being honest, and simply expect the same from him.

Belphegor inhales a deep breath, before willing himself to speak.

“I thought--” he croaks, and quickly clears his throat. Fuck. “I thought that if… if I could pretend that nothing happened, then I wouldn’t have to face any consequences.”

He curses audibly. Just how pathetic can he sound? Belphegor’s voice is hoarse and quivering, and weak. “Weak” is never a word that he would have used to describe himself, but now it echoes hauntingly against the confines of his skull. One of the most powerful demons in existence, and he finds himself quaking before a mere human. He cares for you, though, and he cares for you viciously. Something in Belphegor knows that he’s never going to be able to prove that to you unless he pushes his way through this.

So he forces himself to continue, even with every cell in his body desperately screaming at him to stop.

“I did what I did out of a place of guilt… and regret. I couldn’t stand the fact that it was because of me, that it was my fault, that I’m the reason that Lilith--”

Belphegor stumbles over his own words, and he sets down his pillow before he accidentally tears a hole through it. Instead he braces himself on the cool floor, in need of something steady to hold onto. This whole conversation shook him to the core. He can hardly believe he’s talking about his sister. She’s a topic that he’s avoided even around Beelzebub…

But if Belphegor ever wants even the possibility that you’ll forgive him, he knows he has to. Everything is on the line. His blunt nails press against the tiles and he focuses on steadying his voice.

“I couldn’t accept that it was my fault.” A newfound steadiness weaves its way around his words, and he finds himself sitting a bit straighter. “I’m the one who introduced her to the human world, and kept bringing her back. I’m the reason she suffered, and why the war started, and why we fell, and why she…” Belphegor coughs. “In the end, I couldn’t accept that I’m the one who killed her.

Your heart yearns to tell him that no, he’s wrong, it’s not all his fault. You know it won’t help right now, though, and that it isn’t your time to speak. Settling back a bit, you let your blanket fall from your shoulders. 

Belphegor’s heart stutters, and pounds so hard that he feels like it's trying to tear through his chest. Even so, he doesn’t miss the way your hand reaches out to smooth over his own, and for a moment he feels himself wanting to melt just from the simple touch. 

Belphegor pulls away. He doesn’t deserve your comfort, not yet.

“So… So when you said that you’re a descendant of Lilith, I-- I couldn’t help myself. I jumped at the chance to get to know you, learn about what makes you similar and what makes you different. Her blood flows through your veins, and I was quick to ignore what I did in favour of getting to know you, and… and inevitably, becoming just as fond of you as my brothers… but that can’t erase what I did.”

The feeling of understanding floods you and you find yourself nodding at his words. To be completely honest, even now, you’re scared. Your heart beats for many reasons, fear one of them, but you don’t run away. Not anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to even if you wanted to.

Your hand, abandoned next to Belphegor’s, lay dormant. The need to comfort wills you to once again place your hand on his, but you don’t move. When he’s ready, if he ever is, you’ll be there.

Just as he’ll be there for you.

“I killed you, MC. And in doing that, I killed Lilith. Again.”

Countless emotions storm their way through Belphegor’s conscience, despair clawing at his throat, regret snapping his back, and guilt slowly crushing him under its weight. How is it that one can feel so empty, and yet so filled to the brim with misery?

“And not only that, but if I succeeded… I would have completely missed out on getting to know you, and caring about you as much as I do now. It would have been a loss that I never would have understood, but know for a fact that I would have felt. Even… Even when I was proud,” he spits out the word as if it’s poison, “of what I’d done, watching my brothers’ hearts break at the sight of your body… Even then, I felt it. The ache. It’s so fucking stupid.”

His tone, now bubbling with anger, stills you. It’s not directed at you, and you know this, but despite yourself, you freeze. Belphegor notices, and quickly clears his throat, relaxing his shoulders. He allows your heart a moment to slow as he regains his composure, and you find yourself breathing again.

“I know that me saying sorry is never going to cut it.” Belphegor turns his body to fully face you. He’s no longer running from his feelings, or from you. He knows he can’t anymore. Hesitantly, he lifts his trembling hand to place over yours. The muscles in your fingers tense, and he pauses to gauge your reaction. When you slowly nod your head once, he delicately places his hand on yours, using his thumb to gently begin massaging the tension away. “And I know that even if I do everything right from here on out, that there’s a chance that you won’t ever forgive me. And I understand why.”

Your heart sinks at his expression, his gaze locked on your joined hands. As aloof as he normally is, you can see none of that on his face now. When you turn over your hand he quickly pulls away, but your shaky movements to bring his hand back and intertwine your fingers urges him to go on. 

“But I want to try. And really try this time. I want you to be honest with how you feel, whether I’m frustrating you or scaring you or anything like that, and… and I want to be honest with you too. I…”

Belphegor trails off, but you squeeze his hand. He draws in a slow breath. 

“No matter what happens, no matter how you feel, we’re stuck together for the next few months. I want to spend that time getting to know you, and I want us to be as close as you are with any of my brothers… but I also want you to know that you shouldn’t feel forced. If it’s ever too much, I need you to tell me, and I promise I’ll back off.”

The smallest of smiles makes its way onto your face as you quietly agree. Belphegor doesn’t allow himself to try and figure out if it's genuine, out of pity, or sadness, but in spite of everything, it makes him feel a bit lighter. Just a bit.

“This won’t fix everything right away,” you say, and he now knows that your smile is a combination of the three. Along with this, though, Belphegor also knows the small sparkle in your eyes is hope, and he’s willing to take that hope and nurture it for however long he must.

“I know,” he sighs, but even he can feel the small tilt of a smile on his face, “but I’m willing to take as much time as you need to decide how you feel about me. And… And if you decide you hate me, which is fair, and that you never want to even be in the same room as me, I’ll respect your wishes.

Until then...Until you decide that you really, truly hate me, I won’t stop trying.”

There’s no way of telling how long his words linger in the air around the two of you, circling around your heads and making their way through your body. Even so, Belphegor diligently watches you, wanting to make sure he’s not overstepping his bounds. He even contemplates letting go of you, but is reassured when slowly, almost unnoticeably, you begin smoothing out the lines on the back of his hand with your thumb.

As much as you want to tell him that you could never hate him, you also know you can’t promise anything. Still, for now, just as much as him, you’re willing to try. You stay in silence, more comfortable than you’ve ever been in his presence, gently caressing the hand held in your own.

Eventually, Belphegor clears his throat once more. The vulnerability has made him tense and rendered his voice weak. 

“Can… can you hug me?” He all but whispers, fragility making his body quiver once more. He was completely open about his feelings for the first time in a lifetime, and the intensity of it left him craving affection. He knows how unfair this is to you, but he can’t help himself. He wishes to be held, for his fears to be quelled by someone so much stronger than him. “If you don’t want to,” he falters, speaking quickly, insecurely, “I won't even touch you. I-If you do, I promise I can keep my hands behind my back, and I won’t even--”

His words end abruptly as he feels you release his hand, and his heart sinks. He debates running away again, until he hears you moving towards him, and he finds he’s frozen in place. Slowly, but surely, with more courage circulating through your veins than you’ve had all night, you make your way over the blankets that divide you and position yourself right next to Belphegor, pulling him into your chest. Even now, he can feel how quickly, persistently your heart races, and yet you stay. True to his word, Belphegor rests his hands on the ground behind his back, but he doesn’t stop himself from nuzzling into your chest… and he cries. The complete, uninhibited release of his emotions hit him like a truck, and he sobs heavily into you, tears slowly but surely staining your shirt. You adjust yourself so you can hold him closer, slowly and reassuringly rubbing his back as he lets go of everything he’s been holding on to for longer than you can even imagine. This is a man who’s run from his emotions for centuries, and the fact that he’s willing to face them for your sake comforts you, cradles your heart and presses gentle kisses against the cracks. You know that you’re not going to wake up tomorrow with everything okay, but for now… for now you’re comfortable with his touch. Heaving in a deep, steadying breath, you reach down just enough to take Belphegor’s arms, and guide them to rest his hands on your hips. At this silent permission, he slowly, delicately wraps his arms around your waist, despite craving your body closer, wanting to hold you tight and never let go. He cradles you like you’re made of the most brittle glass, and you smile. The gesture touches your heart, and… and you feel safe. You know that all he wants to do is embrace you as tight as he can, but he doesn’t, even with permission. 

Here, in Belphegor’s arms, you feel safe. Here, where Belphegor’s grip on you is so gentle that it wouldn’t even crumple paper, you feel loved. As he cries into your chest, holding you as if you were an antique, hope slowly fills your heart.

Everything is far from perfect, but it’s still on the right track, here in the quiet planetarium.

[gleanersss]

The Burnt City recap Apr. 10th (preview)

Will as Zagreus-Orpheus

Spoiler Alert: this recap is not a summary or retelling of Zagreus’ loop. However, it includes non-trivial discussion on the plots and (related) characters. It would be best if you have already followed the loop before reading this, and I’d be happy to discuss!

Disclaimer: this recap is mainly based on the version before the last week of preview. This is the only time I followed this character in full, and while I will point out some changes made later that I am aware of, there could be more plot/detail changes since then. I am writing for this earlier version anyways because I believe that there is value in documenting the progress of the show and my feelings for it. Plus there are indeed some scenes I really love that no longer exist.

Zagreus-Orpheus is one of my two favourite characters outside of the main Trojan War story (the other being Ariadne, aka Hecuba’s servant). I am so very touched by his story, by his love for Eurydice and his aspiration for an eternal love, and his broken heart after an unfulfilled pursuit. In some sense, this character is reminiscent of Xu Mu in Sleep No More Shanghai in various ways: both have the deepest and purest love towards their lover and are unaware of the horrible events afterwards; both share similar scenes, such as a long hug with their lover like they are the only people in the world when they first met and later try to take their loved one away from danger.

As the official program is not out yet, it probably makes sense to discuss a bit about the identity of the character. To me, and probably to many others, he is a mixture of Orpheus and Zagreus, and his identity, I believe, is intentionally to be ambiguous. He has some characteristics of Orpheus, as 1) he is the lover of Eurydice; 2) sets are related to Orpheus, such as White Cypress, although I believe the “Orpheus” posters on the wall of the alleys outside of his bar actually refer to the singer Orpheus in the outside Peep bar; 3) his worship and devotion for Apollo. On the other hand, he is also — probably even more — associated with Zagreus, as 1) he signs himself as Z; 2) his pursuit for love and mentioning of undying love despite the death of the physical body.

So, who is he? I don’t know. What I know is that he is unconsciously being manipulated, by Hades  at least, and played by Apollo. Yet what attracts me the most is exactly the combination: heartfelt love story, tragedy, and unsolved mystery.

The beginning of the loop reminds me of the mood of Xu Mu’s beginning, in a good way. I love how Will showed Zagreus’ (I will just use this name from now on instead of the weird combination) love to Eurydice when he was alone at the Sake bar, it was almost teen’s love: he wrote love letters and then laughed at himself, and tore the page off. Audiences who have seen SNM SH, doesn’t this remind you of the first time Xu Mu met the bride in the bamboo forest and he left with a silly smile on his face, and even stopped a bit to savour the moment? The long-lasting hug at the Troy main square reminds me of Xu Mu and the bride’s hug as well, when everything was so beautiful and tranquil, right before their world fell apart.

It is impossible not to mention Apollo when discussing Zagreus’ loop. There is a lot of Apollo-related rituals going on that Zagreus did, with the sole hope that he could be with Eurydice forever, from his wine-making to his date at the temple of Apollo (the backyard) to the wishes he wrote down on the handkerchief. I also find it intriguing the over-caution Will behaved when he put the flowers and trays onto the table, he made so much effort to ensure that each one matched the lamp above perfectly. It made me think why Zagreus was here in the first place — was it really his sake bar (and why no one came to drink except for Persephone?), or it was just a place he performs rituals to Apollo? Or I was just overthinking: he just wanted his dear flowers to bathe in the light under the grace of Apollo.

Anyways, Zagreus was clearly so pious to Apollo to a point that was almost blind, and it broke my heart when he found out that Apollo failed him. While it is open to discussion why Apollo did not respond to his prays, my current interpretation is that it was because he and Eurydice offended Apollo on their date, either because they made out before the temple of Apollo, or that they came to the temple but left without serving him. Either reason was saddening, he was just an innocent man falling in love, and the reason he left the temple in such a hurry was merely for checking out for the Mycenae soldiers. (It could be other reasons too, which is what I would like to explore further in my future visits.)

The next scenes are where earlier version differ from the current one. I personally love the earlier one better, where Zagreus actually took Eurydice to Mycenae after realizing the danger in Troy. The two performed the ritual to Apollo and drank the wine, and Apollo manifested* (I believe) in Zagreus’ dream — given his state of being intoxicated. Apollo chased him and finally put him into a large crate room. He waited until Apollo left for a good while and made his way back.

(* The timing of Apollo showing up makes it tricky to determine WHY Apollo came. I have seen versions Apollo showed up before and after Zagreus came to the crate room. If Apollo came after, then it is more likely that he came because of Zagreus’ pray. I have also seen Apollo came before Zagreus but hid in the shadow, which also fit this explanation. Or, Apollo came because Zagreus stole the pottery, and GODS ARE WATCHING — oops sorry.)

I did wonder when and why (in this earlier version) Zagreus found out that Apollo failed him. Was it when he saw Apollo’s anger in the crate room? Or when he came out of the crate room with no trace of Eurydice, and after he went back to Troy, unfortunately mistook the resurrected Iphigenia, who was then wearing the same green dress and was flirting with Patroclus, as Eurydice?

(In the current version, Zagreus went to Mycenae alone, performed the ritual, and Apollo came. This time, Apollo controlled over Zagreus and vengefully clutched him on the neck. Eurydice’s not showing up and Apollo’s rage seem to be clear signs for him that Eurydice did not want to go with him anymore. )

After such devastation, it is so poignant to see that one more person came to slash his wound even deeper — Hades. He made a speech in the sake bar, no single sentence referred to anything specific, yet to Zagreus, all of them were so accurate descriptions of what had happened to him. Yes, everything is always changing into something else, love as well. Does he wish that he could make it stand still for a moment — with Eurydice? Of course, but not possible anymore. Did he ever know a perfect moment, a moment so perfect... that was the moment he just spent with Eurydice. How would he feel, upon hearing the advice “Gather the rosebuds while you may... don’t wait until tomorrow”, when he well knew that there were no longer rosebuds belonging to him, and we knew that he doesn’t have a tomorrow?

It would have been a perfect ending, yet Will surprised us once again with his reset. He drank wine and as if in a dream-like state, or almost robotic, he reset the flowers and trays in slow motion. This is open to multiple interpretations — did he drink the wine that made him forget all the tragic events? Or a wilder guess: maybe he was a robot with only a heart pumping, the sole thing that made him alive, and when his love was lost, the heart stopped beating and he reduced to his robotic form again?

This recap ended up being a bit too analytical than I intended, but I would like to point out that there are indeed a lot of scenes I really love. In fact, it is those scenes, the plots, that move me the most, and Will is such a great performer to make Zagreus a character so loveable — and hence the story even more tragic. While I could not list exhaustively everything I adore, I believe that the date Eurydice and Zagreus went on was so sweet that anyone who has seen this scene could not forget. I also love the interaction when Eurydice and Zagreus were on their way to Mycenae, Eurydice stopped at the Troy main square while Zagreus was hurrying to leave. Eurydice was just an innocent and naive girl who was easily distracted, not realizing the danger around her. Zagreus was a caring boyfriend and urged her in low voice. They were merely young lovers trying to escape to a safe place and be with each other, yet a wish so humble could not be met when the war came.

Again, I believe that Zagreus is a great character to follow in terms of both the storyline and the depth of the character. I would be curious to figure out next time why he has an ambiguous dual identity (I have a wild theory on him being Zagreus with Orpheus’ memory injected, inspired from Dark City — but not extensive evidences to make a convincing argument), what his role is in Tory and the Trojan war (is he merely a resident in Troy?), his relationship with other people (notably Hades and Persephone), and of course, Eurydice.

[doumaistrash]

Ruined Childhood AU

A/n: So since I follow @my-gunpowder and @papermachette and @lethalamigos I thought: "Why the hell don't I create my own AU, but with my OCs in the mix with Chepe, José and Bruno." Welp so here we are. I've decided that I'm gonna do something productive once in my life and practice my writing/drawing skills. Soooo this is happening huh? Note that this one shot and the ones that follow after them are only drabbles or previews of the fanfiction that I'm gonna write soon. They are practice for the relationships and what a character thinks of the other. Also i hope i don't write them too ooc (i'm to scared to ask T-T) Defenetly not nervous about that at all (also me hiding behind a wall anxiously). Ahem anyway take this first drabble(?) And sketch of Emiliano. This is an angsty one shot between him and José wich also takes place in the rough love au. Soooo yeah.... I hope you enjoy it....

Warning!: since i seemingly can't do a read more thingy here i'm just gonna say there are a few trigger warnings: chocking, death threats and some more

First Drabble: Emiliano & José

"Well if it isn't the homewrecker." José looked up from his task that he was doing. There he stood, the towering Emiliano Madrigal, in all his angry glory.

Emiliano was one of Brunos children, the other being Javier Madrigal, and was known for his strong temper and brash personality. His reputation was pretty much in the negative, because unlike his older twin (god bless that kind soul) Emiliano had a scary scowl on his face 24/7. A shame really. José thought. Because his late mothers genes were the most prominent on him. His seemingly soft delicate features being ruined by his angry grimace, his long black hair that was soft to the touch, looked like a birds nest most of the time, even if he put it together in a half ponytail.

It also didn't help that he was a towering 200 cm. He even made his príma Luisa look like a small child. This combination of his appearance made him earn the name 'The Boogieman'. A man that haunts your dreams and makes your worst nightmare real. And it fit Emiliano, if his gift had anything to say about it. But José shook his head. He had to focus on the matter at hand.

"Excuse me?" José knew that Emiliano was... not a nice person. He wasn't stupid. He heared the rumors on the street and in his past interactions with the young man he could tell that Emiliano hated him with his whole being. He was only ever polite, because he wanted to make his Papá and hermano happy. And José understood that, he could sympathize with that. But this. This was new.

Emiliano's scowl deepend at Josés question. This was not good. "Don't play stupid on me! Don't even dare to pretend like we don't know what you do behind Papás back!" Josés eyes went wide and he froze, his whole body going stif. How did he know about that? Emiliano narrowed his eyes. This reaction was all he needed. "You know when mí hermano came and told me about your... little adventures. I first didn't believe him. But then he showed me..."

Javier Madrigal, the other half of Emiliano. His gift allowed him to travel through time, show things that already happened or will happen. Him and his younger brother had many differences but one thing they had in common since their birth was, that they are both deadly protective of their Papá. Hurting Bruno was a basically a death wish in their eyes. It wouldn't be suprising that Javier showed his hermanito that he and Chepe... José snapped out of thoughts as Emiliano continued to speak in a flat voice, his green eyes were staring blankly at José. Like he was staring into his soul. José felt a shiver go down his spine.

"You know... I actually quite liked you. I thought: 'Maybe. Just maybe José isn't as bad as he seems. Maybe he can take care of Papá afterall.' But then this? How low do you have to fall to do this? And with Tío Chepe no less." Josés eyes were wide, he was in shock. He never knew that Emiliano would begin to like him. He thought that the boy would never accept him. But he proved him wrong. So José tried to apolegize.

"Emiliano." The young man clentched his hands so tight that they began to shake. "I know what I did was wrong." José saw the boy bite his lips in anger. So much that they started to bleed. "But you have to understand that that it was a mistake and I'm sorry. Could you give me a second chance?" José smiled a gentle smile but he wasn't ready for what came next.

"A second chance? A second chance?!" Emiliano began to laugh hysterically. "A second chance fOR WHAT?! TELL ME! WHAT?! SO THAT YOU CAN HURT PAPÁ AGAIN?!" José took a step back. At first he was suprised at Emilianos outburst but the he looked on in worry as fat angry tears rolled down the boys face. "DO YOU HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH PAPÁ WOULD HURT FROM THIS IF HE FOUND OUT?! FOUND OUT THAT YOU LEFT AGAIN?!" José flinched. "LEFT HIM AGAIN?! DO YOU?!" The tattooed man looked ashamed at the ground. "No. I don't-" "OF COURSE YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH PAPÁ CRIED AFTER MAMÁ DIED! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH HE CRIED EVERY NIGHT FOR HER OR YOU TO COME HELP HIM! HOW HE HAD TO HIDE IT FROM US WHEN WE WERE NEAR! HOW TÍA PEPA AND TÍA JULIETA HAD TO HELP HIM CARE FOR US BECAUSE HE COULDN'T LOOK US IN THE FACE! BECAUSE IT WOULD REMIND HIM OF HIS MISTAKES! HOW AFRAID HE WAS TO LOSE US TOO! HE COULDN'T EVEN LEAVE US ALONE FOR ONE SECOND BECAUSE HE WAS SO SCARED! ALL BECAUSE YOU LEFT!"

José couldn't move. The whole world seemed to stop and slow down. The only thing moving was the young boy in front of him. Screaming at him and waving his arms around in anger as more tears escaped his eyes. Eyes that held so much hurt for his father. A father who had to hide that he was hurting himself, so he could watch over the only important people that were left in his life. Josés eyes began to water themself as he took a few steps to stand in front of Emiliano. God where did they go so wrong?

"Emiliano... I..." "-You deserve everything that's happened to you..." José stopped in his tracks shell shocked. Did he hear that right? Emiliano with tears and snot running down his face, as if he read his thoughts, repeated with a scratchy voice. "You deserve everything that's happened to you." José began to breathe faster. "Above all your daughters death and your ex-wife leaving you." Shut up. "Someone like you doesn't deserve happiness." Shut up! "People like you should always suffer." Shut up!! "You should just kneel over and die... Maybe join your daughter in hell were you both belong." "I SAID SHUT UP!" José saw red as he grabbed Emiliano by the front of his green ruana. The boy letting out a choked noise of suprise but José couldn't care less. His gaze was dark and deadly. "If you ever talk about Sasha like that again. I swear that I'm going to kill you." Emiliano let out a wheeze as José squeezed. He began to claw at the hand that held his ruana. He was scared but José didn't let go. "I'll make your life a living hell-" A scared whimper.

Papá!

José, with wide terrified eyes, looked at the scene infront of him. He was holding Emiliano tightly by the front of his ruana, grabbing it so hard that the fabric dug deep into the boys neck. So that he couldn't breathe. Emiliano with scared bloodshot eyes looked at him with fear. Clawing at the hand that held him, trying desperately to get free. Choked off sobs and whimpers left him.

José quickly go and Emiliano doubled over. He began to cough and gasp for air, while wrapping a hand over his neck protectively. The older man looked at his shaking hand. What has he done? He hurt the son of the person that he loved. He was a monster. The boy looked at him one more time with wide eyes and then turned away running. José wanted to call out to him but stopped himself. It was too late. He hurt a boy.

A boy that just wanted to protect his father.

[koumine]

Simeon x Lucifer feels are coming back around 🤍💖🖤 [LUMDS snippets] [OM!]

summary: snippet A - Simeon-and-Lucifer, a complementary pair, back in the Celestial Realm. // snippet B - Rekindling their friendship, not long after Simeon arrives in the Devildom.

tags: queerplatonic Simeon x Lucifer, fluff and a tiny bit of angst.

Notes: full fic (light up my darkest skies) coming ~someday~ and will be rated E. Other preview snippets from this fic can be found in my [masterlist]!

[rated G below] [WIP ZONE]

It goes like this: Already close friends, they grow even closer, start "living in each other's pockets", a human world phrase that Lilith picks up and teasingly bestows upon them. Lucifer's never sure who, but someone starts calling them Simeon-and-Lucifer, as though it's all one name, as though the two of them are one entity, and it spreads until all of the seraphs and quite a few of the lesser angels and even Michael himself are calling them that in lighthearted jest. "I think it's cute," Simeon says when Lucifer complains to him about it.

Lucifer sighs and shakes his head. "Of course you do." "Why don't you?" Simeon asks curiously, putting his hand over Lucifer's where it's tucked into Simeon's elbow. Lucifer thinks about it. "It's…" A pair of angels comes by on the garden path, so Simeon smiles and greets them, like he always does. "Simeon-and-Lucifer, greetings!" they say. "Hello, Edith-and-Anais!" Simeon says back, gently teasing, making the other two laugh. "Out for an evening constitutional? Oh, by the way --" he stops on the path, forcing Lucifer to stop with him. "Anais, how fares your sister?" "Much better, thank you, Simeon," Anais says warmly. "After you came to speak with her last week, she took your advice to heart and is feeling better and better with every day that passes." "That's wonderful!" Simeon says, radiant in his sincerity. "And Edith, you may need to remind me to finish that book -- I confess I keep getting distracted by other texts lately." "You mean you've been distracted by that new human world play that's been making the rounds," Edith teases, and Simeon laughs a little, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. "I'll certainly remind you to finish that book, though," she says easily, "as I'd quite like to hear your opinion on it. However, hold onto it as long as you like." "Much appreciated, Edith," Simeon says warmly. "Have a good evening, you two." And he turns away to keep going down the path, towing Lucifer willingly along, like it's just that easy to engage and then disengage from a conversation, like the boundaries of it are just that obvious. Lucifer just nods at the other angels as they pass; they nod back, perfectly cordial but not warm. He really doesn't know how Simeon does it. "You were saying, Lucifer?" Simeon asks, a moment later. This is why Lucifer can never quite manage to be upset at Simeon interrupting their conversation to briefly socialize with others. He always, always picks back up where they left off, never losing the thread of their conversation. Sometimes the pause is even helpful, giving Lucifer time to think something over. "You and I are very different angels," Lucifer says, finally. "You're radiant and charming and charismatic. You know everyone --" "Not everyone," Simeon protests. "-- and everyone is always so pleased to speak with you." Lucifer shakes his head again. "We're very different, and yet they call us Simeon-and-Lucifer as though we're one and the same." "Hmm." Simeon looks at him thoughtfully. "You're right, we are quite different, though not in the ways that you imply," he says. "For you are also radiant, and charming, and you are thoughtful and industrious." "I see you don't think I'm charismatic," Lucifer notes dryly. "I wouldn't lie to you like that, Lucifer," Simeon says, holding a straight face for all of a second and a half before he laughs at his own joke, and Lucifer chuckles too in spite of himself. "In all seriousness, though," Simeon says, still smiling merrily, "everyone I know would love to converse with you as well. They just find you intimidating." Lucifer frowns. "I'm not intimidating." Simeon points his finger right in Lucifer's face. Lucifer blinks and tries to lean back out of range, but Simeon follows him with that accusatory finger until he can poke Lucifer right in the forehead. "Hey!" "That," Simeon says. "That frown right there, that's exactly why angels think you're intimidating." Lucifer starts to frown again, feels it happening, tries to stop it and smooth out his brow again, but it doesn't really work. Simeon laughs at him. "Oh, heavens, I wish you could see how ridiculous you look right now," he says, chortling. Lucifer gives up and scowls at him, which instantly feels more natural. Simeon smiles back, and Lucifer suddenly realizes that it's always been this way: him frowning, in frustration or consternation or just thoughtfulness, and Simeon smiling back.

"Okay, listen to me now, Lucy," Simeon says. "Simeon," Lucifer hisses, looking around the walled garden. Fortunately, there's no one around to overhear that ridiculous nickname. "Listen," Simeon insists, putting his hand on Lucifer's shoulder. "You and I are very different, Lucy, and that's why I love you. You're quiet and focused and proud, and I'm --" "A social butterfly, and easily distracted, and also proud," Lucifer puts in, to make Simeon roll his eyes. "-- so we complement each other," Simeon finishes. "Simeon-and-Lucifer. It's not that they think we're one and the same. No. We're two halves of a pair. Complementary." "Complementary," Lucifer repeats, thoughtfully. He keeps thinking about it, even after they walk on. Complementary, half of a whole, with Simeon being the matching other part. It sounds right. "Hey," he says, when they arrive at the bridge with the best evening view over the lake. Simeon turns and leans back against the railing while Lucifer rests his forearms on it beside him. "What is it?" Simeon asks, concern creasing his brow a little. It's Lucifer's turn to smile back at him. "I love you too, Sim." And the radiance of Simeon's beaming smile nearly blinds him.

---

It goes like this: “Can we be friends again?” Simeon asks bluntly, one day after a lecture on Rowa-period Devildom law. Lucifer has always appreciated directness; becoming a demon clearly hasn’t changed that. Lucifer pauses in the middle of holding the door for him. They’re the last two people in the classroom. “I -- yes,” Lucifer replies, blinking in surprise, then frowning. And that -- finally, that’s a look that Simeon knows how to read. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to?” Simeon asks, eyebrows going up. Lucifer pushes the door closed. He gives Simeon a long look. “Yes,” he says frankly. “We didn’t exactly part on good terms, if you recall.” Simeon laughs nervously, putting a hand to the side of his neck. In truth, he had almost forgotten, in a way. In the intervening eons, he had made a habit of boxing up the memory of that final altercation and hiding it away, to dwell on the fond memories instead. To wield them like shining shields against the intrusive thoughts that always tried to insist it’s your fault and you should have chosen differently and you’ve lost him forever. “I -- I recall,” he says weakly. Lucifer just keeps looking at him. So Simeon takes a deep breath, calls up his courage, and starts talking. He tells Lucifer everything, every thought of regret or sorrow or longing that he’s had since that last conversation in the Celestial Realm. He tells Lucifer everything he’s wanted to say to him in all those empty eons of being apart, everything he’s wanted to say to him in all these aching days of being near. He says I’m sorry (I don’t regret the part I played, but I’m sorry anyway). He says I missed you (I love you, I missed you). And then he says nothing when Lucifer raises a hand to stop him, his other hand over his mouth and his cheeks tingeing pink and his eyes bright and wet with something that could be joy or sorrow or both. And then Lucifer embraces him, and he says nothing at all because his breath is caught in his throat and his temple is pressed against Lucifer’s jaw and his nose is touching the high collar of Lucifer’s uniform shirt, and Lucifer is saying, “I missed you, too.”

enjoying my writing? read more -> [AO3] [masterlist]

[yelenayena]

Love Game part 2

Pairing: Yelena x fem!reader

Genre: Lemon, non!AU

A/N: This is my very first fanfic. Sorry if it's bad, but I hope you like and enjoy reading this story! The period in this story is when Pixis visited Yelena to talk abt that she met Eren secretly. I'm poor at grammar, and this is the first story I have written in English, so I’m sorry if they're a lot of mistakes I made in my writing. Feel free to give me some advice in English so I can learn and write better in the future 💜

Summary: You live in the same house as Yelena in Paradis as a maid. You adore Yelena, but you thought she wasn't attracted to you at all. The day after she talked with Pixis on the balcony, she eventually talks to you and tries to tease you.

Warning: Smut, +18!! DO NOT DRINK WINE FROM MARLEYAN unless you wanna be a brainless 😁!!

“It’s strange. I didn't feel offended by your attitude because you're so cute when giggling.”

You heard those words clearly from her mouth. Is she trying to tease you? You smiled nervously, then you placed the napkin inside the apron’s pocket. “I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m going to clean up the next room,” without waiting for her response, you left the living room.

You stood in front of the door, your heart churned because of the smile she just gave to you. You shake your head and breathe regularly to get rid of all the nervousness. Then you step in your legs to the next room.

When the night fell, you took a shower and changed the uniform with your nightdress. You feel exhausted after a long day of work, but you can’t close your eyes to sleep. Your mind is so awake, you’re still thinking about the conversation you had with Yelena this morning. You tried to act professional but you can't hide your nervousness, all you could do was avoid meeting her. Getting into such a state, seemed rather ridiculous, and thinking like that won't help you feel better. So you step down to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, wishing it would help you fall asleep easily.

You smiled when you smelled a unique scent of the tea, then you gulped down your hot tea, trying to relax. At that moment, the door opened, your eyes widened when you saw Yelena standing in the doorway.

“You're still awake,” she said.

“Yeah, I can't sleep,” you said.

She just nodded and walked to the cupboard near the table where you stand with your teacup.

“So- you can't sleep too?” you asked. This situation where she and you are standing alone in the kitchen at night makes you feel you’d like to have a dialogue with her again.

She nodded again, “and it makes me feel I wanna drink some wine.” She took one bottle of wine and poured it into a wine glass. She turned around and stared at the wine glass as if it was a treasure. She looked at you after she finished drinking her precious wine, “it’s an excellent wine from Marley, but I recommend you not to drink even for one gulp."

“I don't drink alcohol,” you said.

She carried the bottle and the wine glass along with her and walked to the table and stood next to you. “Good girl,” she smirked weirdly.

Your cup is already empty, you stepped your leg to the sink. “Wait!” she blurted out, “I’m not finished talking to you.”

You stopped as you heard her words, now you stand in front of her withholding a teacup in your hand. By standing in front of her, you raised your head and realized how tall she is. She glanced down to see your face, moments later her eyes fixed on your chest, “I always wonder, are you dating someone?” she asked.

You immediately frowned, you were aware of her attempts at flirtation.. “N- no.”

Her smirk turned into a wider one, “then mind if I give you a goodnight kiss?”

You looked up at her, your eyes wide with shock. “Wha-??”

Before you could continue your words, she pulled you closer to her body. She grabbed the teacup in your hand and placed it on the table so quickly like she was so trained. She stooped down and put her face close to yours and kissed your lips so gently.

To be continued…

Preview for the next part

You: Don’t ever kiss me again! Yelena: Let me get this clear, I want you and don’t you ever dare to say no because I hate being rejected. Let’s move to the next level, I promise you'll love it, and we’ll be having so much fun!

See you tomorrow! :)

PREVIOUS NEXT

[solarwonux]

Valentine’s Day Drabbles #4 - Facetime 

Ceo!Jun x f!reader

w.c 1.9k

warnings: smut, dirty talking, masterbation, mutual masterbation, phone sex, face time sex ya kno the usual lol

note: I’m having so much fun writing these lmao, I think I will do one for each of the 13 members, So I am gifting you Jun for today. I hope you’ll enjoy, let me know your thoughts. Thank you.xx

drabble game || masterlist

Jun’s business trip had been extended for another week, and he was pissed but the merge between his company and Seungcheol’s company was important. His stress of being away from his home and you getting to him as he felt his exhaustion rise when he bounced from meetings to meetings. A few times he had been able to sneak away for a breather and contact you, giving you updates on his day and telling you how much he was missing you in more ways than one.

“You don’t have to come out with us tonight.” Chan said as he finished tying his shoe and standing up, admiring his appearance in the mirror. Jun nodded tugging on his shirt, running a hand through his wet hair.

“This is important, we’re so close to finalizing the merge Chan I can’t back out now.” Jun sighed, sitting down on the bed grabbing one of his shoes.

“Wonwoo and I got this, we’ll just say you had an emergency to tend to, I’m sure they’ll understand.” Chan smiled, placing a comforting hand on Jun’s shoulder. “We’ll get this.” He nodded reassuringly, patting his shoulder and made his way towards the door. “Pick up your phone, it has been ringing nonstop.” He laughed and walked out.

Jun sighed, throwing his shoe to the side and stood up walking over to where his phone was charging. A sigh of relief escaping his lungs as he saw your facetime call light up his screen and without a second thought, he picked it up. His smile grew when he saw you appear on his screen. His heart beating rapidly as he took in your relaxed appearance, his body itching to be with you.

“Hey baby, you going out?” You smiled pushing up your glasses, leaning your elbows against your desk, getting close to the camera as you took in his attire. “I can call later if you are?”

“Hi love, was going to but I think Chan will beat my ass if I step out to meet him and Woo, they already scolded me for overworking myself too much earlier today.” He grinned, throwing himself on the bed, placing an arm behind his head holding it up grinning at you through his phone.

“Good maybe you’ll listen to them.” You smiled leaning back in your chair. “I miss you.” You pouted playfully crossing your arms in front of you.

“Believe me I miss you so much, if all goes well tonight and tomorrow, I should get back home tomorrow night or the following morning.” He said sitting up resting his back against the headboard.

“Jun, I’m confident everything will go well, stop selling yourself short.” You affirmed wishing you were with him to hold him and reassure him that all his hard work was going to pay off.

“Okay, okay if you say everything’s going to be fine then everything will be fine.” He smiled pushing his drying hair back, before slamming his hand down on the bed. “Now let’s stop talking about this…how was your day?”

“Fine, there was a tech problem at the office, so everyone got sent home early…I went to the mall and then came home took a bath, cooked and now I’m talking to you while waiting for my cookies to finish baking.” You gushed watching as Jun’s smile grew wider. His stomach was spiraling with butterflies as the excitement of seeing you again grew.

“Did you buy anything?”

“Ahh, I did but you’re going to have to come home in order to see what I bought.” You smirked playing with the strings of his forest green hoodie, his eyes widening realizing what you meant. He let out a playful groan running a frustrated hand across his face making you laugh loudly.

“Baby please show me…I’m in need right now.” He whined laying down on the bed again as you shook your head.

“Nope, that will ruin the surprise Jun…you can wait a few more days, or hours.”

“Please just a preview, I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day today.” He pouted, bringing his phone closer to his face magnifying his pouting lips.

“Fine but pay attention.” You giggled standing up from your chair, and pushing it in. Pushing your computer screen back, watching as Jun bit his bottom lip in anticipation. You walked back a little carefully, slowly hitching up his sweatshirt, revealing a baby blue see through bra with hearts covering your nipples and matching see through mesh shorts. Jun groaned, throwing his head back hitting his pillows repeatedly as he felt himself grow harder. You scoffed playfully at his reaction before bringing down his sweatshirt and covering yourself again as he whined.

“Did you like it?” You asked leaning against your chair watching as Jun rolled his eyes at your question.

“I’m so happy you showed me that today because when I get home its coming right off darling.” He mumbled unbuttoning the first few buttons of his dress shirt, feeling the heat start to take over his body. “But also I’m so hard right now and Chan could come back any minute now.”

“Better go take a cold shower then.” You suggested taking a seat again, fixing your computer screen so you were back in frame. “No, help me.” He pouted, fixing his pillows before sitting up against them, his free hand threatening to start touching himself as the image of you kept replaying in his mind. “Touch yourself for me.” He breathed out finally letting his hand rest against himself, palming himself slowly.

“Jun! You exclaimed your eyes growing in size, feeling your body heat up, the thought of pleasuring yourself for him making you aroused. “Please baby, look at what you did to me.” He smirked turning his camera around his hand gripping his cock through his slacks, a moan escaping your lips as you felt yourself start to crave him. You pushed your chair back standing up and taking off your bottoms throwing them aside, hiking up his sweatshirt and sitting back down. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” You spoke, opening your legs for him, your hand slowly caressing the inside of your thighs, making him moan out in satisfaction.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures my love.” He spoke rapidly standing up from the bed, setting his phone down on the nightstand making sure you’re able to see him. Once he was sure he stood up straight, taking off his shirt in a desperate haze. Moving his arms around as he tried pushing it off making your giggle at his clumsiness. “Not funny.” He mumbled once he succeeded throwing his shirt on the bed. His golden chest glistening underneath the dimmed light of the hotel room, your hand getting closer and closer to where you needed it most.

“Take off your pants you’re taking too long.” You joked as you teasingly ran your index finger through your arousal. Jun scoffed, rolling his eyes, “And you call me the impatient one.” He shook his head, unfastening his pants and pushing them down along with his boxers, kicking them aside. His hardened length resting against his stomach, begging to be touched. “You are.” You breathed sinking into the chair, moaning as you started circling your clit slowly.

He sighed as he took his cock in his hand circling his thumb over his reddened head, spreading around the bead of precum that hard started to form. “Aren’t you wearing to much clothes for me baby, let me see you.” He spoke letting go of his length spitting in his hand before moving his hand against him again.

“Deal with it.” You smirked before pushing against your clit gently. “You’re such a tease baby.” As he slowly started teasing himself. “Put a finger inside of you.” You moaned obliging, throwing your head back as you slid in one of your fingers moving it slowly against your wet, velvety walls wishing it was his finger instead. “Jun, I need you so badly.” You whined out searching for your g-spot, moaning when you finally found it.

“God, you have no idea how delicious you look right now.” He groaned, tightening his grip on his length. “Can you put another one in?” He sighed, running his thumb over his head once again, the pleasure feeling out of this world. You nodded as you started to slowly scissor your fingers as your other hand rubbed your clit teasingly. The sight was so sinful and beautiful at the same time. A masterpiece he wished he could frame for his own pleasure.

“I wish you were here.” You breathed out throwing your head back, pushing your hips against your hand as you slowly felt the wave of pleasure build up. Jun moaned loudly as his hand started moving faster, his hips moving along with it. “I wish I was there. inside you…Are you close?” He sighed, feeling himself start to reach his high, you nodded increasing your pace, your back arching against the chair, as your breaths started to get louder. Your chest rising rapidly as you worked yourself up, moaning his name like a sinful mantra when you felt yourself come undone underneath your heated touch. Jun following in suit, whispering your name through gritted teeth. Ropes of his cum shooting out against his toned stomach, the sight exciting you.

The two of you stayed silent for a while, taking in what had happened before you let out a laugh. Jun chuckled as he grabbed his phone with his clean hand, walking into the bathroom and grabbing the towel he had used earlier after his shower. “Why are you laughing?” He smirked, setting his phone down, resting it against the bathroom counter.

“I just can’t believe we did that.” You blushed crossing your legs in front of you. “Was that a good enough preview for you?” You added feeling your cheeks get hotter.

“More than enough baby girl.” He grinned, running the towel underneath the faucet before cleaning himself off. He then set the towel aside once he was done, looking around making a satisfied sound when he found the sweatpants, he had thrown on the floor that morning and putting them on.

“Good, now I have to go check on my cookies, the oven beeped around two minutes ago, but I was a bit busy obviously.” You stated standing up.

“Wait don’t leave me.” He whined grabbing his phone and walking out of the bathroom, his ears perking up as he heard the door of his hotel room click open, Chan walking in, his jacket over his shoulders and a satisfied smirk etched on his face. “Chan just walked in, say hi.” He smirked turning his camera around to face his best friend and coworker, your palms feeling sweaty as you set down your laptop on top of the kitchen counter. The fragments of what had happened not even five minutes ago playing through your head.

“H-Hi Channie. Did it go well?” You waved shyly, looking down at your attire and making sure you were all covered.

“Hi, yes, we’re signing the merger deal tomorrow, you’re welcome Jun.” He smirked patting his friend on the shoulder before walking past him unbuttoning his shirt. Jun turned his camera around, his face glowing as he heard the news.

“See, Jun I told you it was going to go perfectly fine.” You said excitedly, turning off the oven, silently hoping you hadn’t burned the cookies, as you had been craving some for days.

“Your manifestation skills are out of this world baby.” He joked making you laugh as you slowly took out your cookies, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips, your perfect cookies staring back at you. You set them down, spinning around and turning on the faucet and running your hands underneath them “That was all you baby, I just offered words of encouragement.”

“And more.” He winked, giving you a knowing look, as you turned the faucet off giving him a warning look. His laugh erupting from his chest at your reaction.

“I’m hanging up now, goodnight baby, I love you, I’m proud of you and the guys.” You said drying your hands then leaning against the kitchen counter. “Night Channie.” You yelled to the younger boy.

“Goodnight, did you make cookies?” He questioned appearing next to Jun raising a brow at you.

“Yes, I’ll save you guys some.”

“You’re amazing, thank you.”

“Alright, stop flirting with my girlfriend.” Jun mumbled pushing Chan out of the frame before turning to face you. “I love you, sweet dreams my love and save me more cookies than Chan.” He chuckled, throwing you a kiss before ending the facetime call. He sighed happily, throwing himself on the bed, pulling the covers up to his neck.

“Hope the two of you didn’t do gross stuff while I was gone.” Chan mumbled laying down on his bed, staring at him suspiciously.

“Of course we didn’t,” Jun nodded reassuringly trying his best to keep a poker face. “Go to sleep, I’m waking you up early tomorrow so you can tell me everything that happened tonight.”

“Whatever.” Chan mumbled, turning his back to him. Jun smiled, turning off the light of the room, his body finally relaxing for the first time in two weeks.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Honey & Sweetheart

Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale

Summary: The reader talks to Jensen and a special friend about struggling with parts of the finale...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,700ish

Warnings: language, spoilers

A/N: I wrote this one more for me than anyone else but if you feel similarly to how I do, I hope it helps you a bit like it did for me...

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“Honey,” said Jensen as you stared out the window over the kitchen sink. “Oven’s going off.”

You spun and heard the beeping from the timer but he was already pulling on oven gloves. He took out the dish and set it on the counter, taking off the mitts with a strange look.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” he asked. You shrugged and he stepped behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist. “Still thinking about the finale?”

“It was a few days ago,” you said.

“Honey. I thought you said you liked it Thursday night.”

“Oh course I said I liked it. This thing has been a part of you for so long. You’ve been with the show longer than we’ve even known each other. I am so proud of you and the guys and everything you did.”

“But.”

“But I’m so angry and sad at what they did to Dean. I wish I’d asked you to tell me the end over a year ago when you found out instead me wanting to be surprised. I’m so mad because there was a sign all over your face about how it would go and I ignored it because I thought you were upset they would both live quiet normal lives and not go out blaze of glory. I should have said something. I would have called somebody.”

“Honey no one would have listened,” he sighed. “That was the ending always.”

“They should have listened to what you thought about it.”

“It was decided before I walked in the room.”

“I get it. It’s just not fair you had to do what they said with no say of your own. No one on earth knows Dean better than you and they ignored you and that’s wrong.”

“I’m not a writer, Y/N. I didn’t have a good idea.”

“Why the fuck did we just make a production company if you don’t have the ability to come up with ideas then?” you shot back. He stepped away and started to walk out of the kitchen when he paused. “I’m sorry. I know you had no choice. I’m sorry you’re telling me it’s okay as much as I’m telling you lately. I should be taking care of you. He deserved so fucking better though.”

“I know he did,” said Jensen quietly. “I know some people liked it. Some hated it. The general consensus I’ve gotten one or the other is that yeah, most agree he deserved better. I knew he did. But it’s done and I can’t change it.”

“I know, honey,” you said. You nodded and he stepped closer again, resting his hands on your arms and cocking his head.

“Sweetheart,” he said, voice lower and you looked up at him. You stared and he smiled. 

“Jensen don’t-”

“That’s not my name,” he said, still smirking at you. “You do realize I’m like right here, sweetheart. Anytime you want me I’m right here.”

“No you’re not. You died a stupid death. I would have taken a stabbing, a bite, a shot, a sacrifice, so many other ways. A fucking accidental death for you was stupid. Some think it’s poetic and realistic but I don’t,” you said. He shrugged and you bit your bottom lip. 

“You were always gonna be upset if I died though.”

“Because your character grew the fuck up and knew he could have more in life. You should have gotten to have more than a dog for a week. You deserved everything Sam got too. I deserved to see that was Eileen he ended up with. I deserved to see that Cas and everyone Dean cared about was in his eventual heaven when he was an old, old man. I deserved so much better than a premature death.”

“I was forty one.”

“Jensen’s forty two. So if he keels over I’m supposed to say aw shucks he lived long enough, it’s cool? I wanted you to have everything you fucking deserve. What was the fucking point of you growing all that time for you to die from fucking rebar on a run of the mill hunt? You died just like you thought you would as a kid and I fucking hate that. Just because it is how you thought you would go out does not mean it-”

He leaned down and kissed you hard, resting his forehead against yours as he broke off.

“I never said it was a perfect ending, sweetheart. Write your own story. Write how I come back. Take it from me, I know a guy, hot guy, you may be acquainted with him and he really wants to come back in a few years once he’s gotten some space. He wants to take more control if that happens. He will he promises. He wants someone that cares as much as he does to help him figure that out. So you gonna help him out and figure out that perfect ending for me? That way to bring me back? You know this world. We break the rules all the time. You could have me back in a heartbeat. What do you say? Gonna help him and his friends out?”

“Yes,” you said quietly. 

“I know you see yourself in me, sweetheart. I know you look up to me. I’ve heard from our mutual friend,” he said. You turned your head away and felt tears build up again for the millionth time in the past week. His fingers grazed your cheek and turned you back to face him. “So I deserved better. I deserved a long and happy life. Just because I deserved it and didn’t get it doesn’t mean that your story ends up like mine.”

You blinked and he smiled, stroking your cheek.

“You can have your happy ending. Keep going towards it. Don’t ever stop. You deserve your happy ending too. But you’re writing your story. You can take control in a way I couldn’t. You deserve happiness and you’ll get it. Don’t be scared it’ll go away, sweetheart.”

“I hadn’t thought of that until just now,” you breathed out.

“I know. Don’t be scared for you is all I ask. Go figure out my comeback story and figure out how to give me some kickass hunter wife and I get the kids and house and whole nine yards. You figure that out for me cause you need it and I’m not opposed to it. In the meantime, I’m gonna hang around with our mutual friend. Well I’m always gonna be around him but I’ll be around if you want to talk. Just say so. I’m gonna tag along the ride of his happiness for now okay?”

“You’re such a dork,” you said as you nodded and rested your head against his chest. “But I fucking love you. Both of you.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m okay. I promise. I want you to be too. If our friend tries to take care of you, do me a favor and let him? He’s not the only one allowed to feel so strongly about this.”

“Okay, Dean,” you said with a smile. “I think I feel better now.”

“It’s okay, honey,” said Jensen, his voice lighter as you hugged him.

“Thanks for doing that. I needed it,” you said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he chuckled. “But maybe listen to our friend. He made some good points.”

“I’ll still be upset about it all, maybe forever, but I’ll be okay,” you said. He kissed your temple and you shut your eyes, holding onto him. “Would it bother you if I honestly said there was parts of it I didn’t like at this moment?”

“It’d only bother me if you pretended to like it because you think that’d make me happy. You can support me and be proud of me without loving 100% of it. I have my own thoughts and opinions on it all, you can have yours too...plus I wouldn’t mind seeing your way of mixing it all up...you gonna pull the boys out of heaven?”

“Maybe. A few years from now, if you’re ever really serious about what you said, own it. Make those choices yourself.”

“Yes mam,” he said, kissing you again. “Want to go see if the new coat rack I put up in the mudroom earlier looks alright? I think I really nailed it.”

You stared at him and he giggled as he broke away.

“Too soon. So too soon,” you said as he pulled you with him towards the far side of the house.

“You cry and stress bake. I use bad humor and talking to Dean to cope. We all got out methods,” he said. “But seriously, I think I nailed it.”

“Jensen. You need to stop.”

“I’m gonna take a selfie with it and make that joke on instagram. Everyone’s gonna love that,” he chuckled.

“You need to calm down with the shitty jokes on instagram young man,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“You laughed. I won,” he said, booping your nose. “Thanks for telling me how you really feel about the end though. The end for now at least.”

“Just gotta keep teasing me with that don’t you,” you smiled.

“Not a tease, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink. “Maybe we can get Dean with a beard and some swearing, what do you say?”

“Maybe I could get a preview of that?” you asked.

“You certainly fucking can,” he smirked, voice low again.

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely on the list,” you laughed. He cocked his head and kissed you gently, picking you up off the ground. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

______