#i loved what blair says in this ep. she wants to feel happy

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers. :) AH the post breakup ep. This one almost hurts more. It's most apt ep name of the entire season. ‘Crushed.’ Boy does this name hold up to what goes down in this episode. As much as it sucks what goes down with Blair. She was damn good at her job and this ep proves that. Lots of Tim analysis in this one as you all know is my jam. Eric and Melissa continue to crush us in this one. Phew. Let us begin.

6x07 Crushed

We start out strong with the soul crushing. Lucy’s necklace and DOD ring are noticeably absent. They know the fandom well to take away these objects. Of course we were going to notice them being gone. Hurts my heart to see it. Makes sense but doesn’t make it ache less. Our poor collective shipper heart. Granted the ring was her's long before Tim…BUT we all know what it represents. Her life being saved. Throwing it out in the hopes he would find it and save her. Represents him digging his bare hands into the earth to retrieve her from it. *sniffle* I’m fine….

Her necklace being gone is just a stark reminder of where we are with them. I hate it. The opening sequence is a gut punch to our feels. To Lucy’s too. Tamara is moving out. This also hurts to watch. The end of an era. Lucy is grasping at straws asking if she needs more time before she goes? Tamara asks if she needs her to stay? With the breakup and all? Lucy instantly say no. Even if she wanted to she'd never ask that of her. But it’s clearly upsetting Lucy watching her whole world being dismantled.

She went from having the love of her life with her daily, and Tamara living there, to neither of those things within a week. She literally blinked and her two pillars of support were gone. I adore her making dinner reservations for her though. Wanting to celebrate despite her current sadness. Tamara asks if Tim really got kicked out of Metro? Lucy immediately saddens and morosely replies ‘Yeah.’ Tamara being her protective self in her reply. I mean she isn’t wrong…But it brings Lucy zero comfort and it’s written all over her face. *sigh*

We go from one heartbreaking scene to another. Once again the punches not being pulled in the last 3 eps. I feel emotionally winded. For only having 10 eps they sure did pack them full of it. Which I was impressed with. We see Tim disassembling his Metro office. Hurts me to see it. Official time of death for Metro Tim is now. You all know how much I loved him in this position. I really hate this. Was more than him being fine af in that outfit. Was years of hard work flushed down the toilet *snaps fingers* Just like that. Really paints the picture of his trajectory downward after Ray.

I hate this on a personal level for him. The breakup is excruciating but adding this in is... It's salt into an already raging wound. Worst part is we watch him being stoic with Wade. Trying to pull all the company lines. Whatever will get him back on duty and Grey out of his hair. Luckily Wade isn’t so easily duped. He knows this man well. Been his superiors for years. Can see the grunt mentality Tim is displaying. Knowing how unhealthy it is. Grey lets him know Dr. London will be shadowing him. Tim is naturally upset about this.

This wasn't the work he meant lol Knowing exactly why this is happening. Wade doesn’t sugar coat it when Tim pushes back. Nor should he. Lists off the reasons he questions Tim's judgment right now. The reckless behavior that had him bounced out of Metro and back to patrol. Secondly breaking up with Lucy. Tim forgets this man watched over the years how Tim blossomed around her. Even more so when they got together. To toss that away is just as reckless as his behavior that lost him Metro. Tim is in a free fall atm. Grey is just trying to soften the landing when he comes back to Earth.

Tim being a lying liar who lies. Says him breaking up with Lucy had nothing to do with Ray. Oh my love you don’t really believe that do you? Because it has EVERYTHING to do with it. Was the catalyst to breaking all our hearts. It's clearly a tactic to get out of his ride along with Blair. The man as we know runs from and buries his feelings. Only person to ever get him to open up he’s shoved away at this point. Phew. This somehow hurts more the second to watch and dissect.

Wade stands his ground about the ride along. Saying if he wants to even begin to earn his trust back. It starts here. Otherwise he’s going to get mandated therapy. Which honestly I would’ve hated for him. Because therapy’s something you need to come to on your own. Not have it thrust upon you. So I’m glad Grey started out with this observation first. The man knows what he’s doing. Tim gives into his order of taking her with. Little does he know he’s going to end up doing both.

But that’s the beauty of this episode tbh. Once that is settled Wade slyly mentions he’s taking Lucy out. Tim being salty says for ‘Evaluating her too?’ I love Grey’s slick smile replying he’s just observing. Like I said earlier. The man knows what he’s doing. He’s also worried about them both. He knows how serious their relationship was. Probably thought their next step was marriage. So for it to be over he’s gotta do damage control. He’s the MVP of this ep.

This scene with Smitty still makes me blood BOIL. Months later and it still has me incensed with him. With that jackass too who was betting Tim cheated. How very fucking dare you nobody officer. If you knew Tim at all you’d know he would NEVER. Not ever. Neither of them would. It’s so degrading for both Tim and Lucy.

Also her and Aaron? Excuse me while I go vomit. I love how she dismantles Smitty. Straight up kills him. The shame on his face is something he deserves and more. This one of the many reasons people knowing was the worst. Because cops or not this was gonna feed the rumor mill. People gossip no matter the profession. Lucy telling him how wildly inappropriate this is. Honestly she should’ve reported his ass.

I would’ve. I'm crazy protective of them both. So I hated this scene for them. And for Lucy out of the two of them to find it ugh….Smitty promises he’ll shut it down right away. Damn right you will mofo….That scene still gets under my skin more than I would like. We were all in mourning as a fandom. So this scene lit my Italian rage up. Hated rewatching it. Made me sick to think of them gossiping about them. Still hate this whole thing. Doesn’t get easier with time.

The pain train continues forward with this next scene. The LAST thing Lucy needed in this moment was to bump into Tim. Especially coming off the heels of scolding Smitty. We see her rubbing her tattoo like no tomorrow. Trying to calm her raging emotions. She doesn’t even get a second to breathe, before running into the cause of her deep hurt.

Gotta commend Melissa and Eric for this awkward encounter. Lucy has zero time for this. Can’t even process what just happened with Smitty let alone this. Doesn’t stay in that corridor long. Poor Lucy almost stumbles over herself to get away from Tim. Shaking her head as he calls out for her. Rip my damn heart out some more why don't you writers? Good lord. Killing me softy. 5 minutes in and I’m a damn mess. Also what kills me in this scene how Tim lights up when he sees her.

Ugh you can’t do that after what you did Timothy. You stole her voice and her choice in that breakup. You can’t be surprised she doesn’t want to see you. You destroyed her in that parking lot. Decimated her loving spirit when you took off. Eric once again killing me with his expressions. His reaction after she all but dashes from him breaks my heart. This was self inflicted but hurts to watch none the less. To see them reduced to this awkward interaction is devastating.

I will say I adore Blair for coming right at Tim from the jump. Doesn’t wasn’t any damn time calling him on his crap. His person isn’t there to do it. So she is the next best thing. Well other the Angela. But he needed to hear this stuff from a professional. My sister can tell me something and it doesn’t resonate. My therapist does and it clicks. Idk why. Just does. Tim NEEDED this ride along just didn’t know it yet.

Doesn’t take her long to call Tim out for his decision to use Aaron as a buffer. Is reading him like a book she’s known for years. Saying he’s doing so cause he’s exhibiting classic avoidance attachment style. (Totally is...) Tim having not been in therapy is confused at her reply. She continues to depict him further. Explaining he prefers surface level over deep intimacy. Which is the case with everyone but Lucy…

She continues on to say it’s a defense mechanism. One that is developed due to an overly strict or domineering parent. Usually a father. Tim getting nervous already goes on the defensive. Like he always does when someone has him dead to rights. Did it to Lucy and Angela. This therapist is no different. Stating he isn’t a fan of this and there is going to be no over sharing. Ok love….

I do adore Grey for making sure Lucy is taken care of. We all know our girl isn’t going to take care of herself. Her and Tim are scary alike in this way. They’d rather take care of others than do any form of self care. So Wade is doing it for her which I love. He didn’t pick Tim he picked HER. He gave Tim what he needed with the therapist. Also we don’t get enough Lucy and Wade so I was all about this.

We know he’s worried because she’s taken hit after hit this year. Tim being the biggest blow of all. These other things were horrible but she had him. Her person. Her pillar. Now that’s gone and she’s losing Tamara to boot. She needed this ride along as much as Tim needed his. To say this season has been tough on her would be the understatement of the century. I’m hurting for her so much. Her entire world was ripped out from underneath her.

I think Grey can tell it’s pent up inside her. The constant ‘I’m ok and I’m fine.’ Are really cries for help. The awkwardness continues when they run into Tim getting ready for the day. Lucy extends the awkwardness inviting everyone EXCEPT Tim to Tamara’s farewell dinner. Well and Dr. London heh Who is watching this entire exchange go down. This shot from his cam feeling very intentional as he watches her invite everyone but him. A little shot at his soul watching this happen. He watches her depart sadly some definite longing in it. Oh Timothy you did this to yourself my love. Grey patting his arm as he follows Lucy out.

Lucy and Grey’s first call strikes a personal chord. Far too close to what she and Tim just went through. They show up to a couple fighting. The girl is losing her mind on him. Little stabs to the heart what this woman is upset about. Saying how she thought they were happy. How she thought he was the one. Then it just ended. How it doesn’t make sense. Ooof. My heart hurts.

I hate how relevant this call is for Lucy. Crushed is the theme through out this one. Apropos ep name if we’ve ever had one. Lucy then gets paranoid because she is feeling exposed in this moment. Feeling things she’s been suppressing gurgling up. Asking Grey if he set this up? That Tim just bailed on her. That their first call was about a woman being ghosted. I adore his reply. It’s Top Notch Wade Grey goodness.

Puts her in her place right away with that notion. But it’s very telling to him in this moment how much she needs this shift with him. The amount she has pent up is immense. The fact that she reacted the way she just did proves that. Her sensitivity level is sky high atm. Lucy’s reply when they get back in the car is hilarious though. Much needed levity in a tense moment LOL ‘It’s my bad.’ Hahahaha oh Lucy Chen never change. We love you so.

Dr. London hits the ground running with the case they have. Aaron bringing up it’s always the boyfriend right? When it comes to missing cases like this? It’s here Blair inserts her like about breakups. It’s SPOT ON. Say what you will about her as a person but she was damn good at her job. At zeroing in on someone and what makes them tick. What is holding them back. And her line about breakups is just that for Tim. Stating it’s a trigger for many men. How stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking help. It gets under Tim’s skin instantly. I’m sure she said for a few reasons.

First because It’s an accurate statement for most men. Sad but true. Two because she feels this fits Tim perfectly and his current situation. And lastly to see how he would react. Which of course is defensively, but she’s methodically chipping away at his wall. That statement is not only this situation. But it’s Tim’s entire life. His father called him. ‘Poor little Tim-Tim.’ This was not a term of endearment but a mockery of his feelings. For even having them let alone expressing them. To have feelings was shameful and to act on them even more so. Looked at Tim with disgust and disappointment for it.

That scene in 4x09 in his father's hospital room was a painful glimpse into his childhood. To how he was treated for ever being emotional or needing help. So of course he’s not going to reach out for help. It’s deeply ingrained in him not to do as such. Breaks my heart. Grew up the same way. Being pegged as ‘Sensitive’ or mocked for what they perceived as emotional tantrums. When I was just a little person with emotions and didn't know how to regulate them. I was emotionally imbalanced because of my parents. Just like Tim is cause of his father. Blair is testing the water with her theory and striking gold in this moment. Quite the opening volley from her.

Grey starts on his own inquiry into how Lucy is. Clearly needing to since she exploded at their last call. Asking if she’s talked to Tim since the breakup? She is brief and just replies nope. Although her reply is brief her emotions are not. Just hearing his name is springing up tears to her eyes. Melissa aiming to do the same to me in this scene. Straight killing me at how damn sad she looks. I hate it so much. Lucy follows it up with saying she thought he didn't care about her personal life?

Oof giving me Tim flashbacks to 3x08. When she was questioning why they were talking about her personal life? Grey's answer obviously different in this instance. Telling her he cares if it affects her job. I mean he is Watch Commander. This is a valid thing to worry about. Also part of the reason for this ride along. To gauge where she is at and how it’s affecting her on the job. Grey connects the dots of Tim’s IA investigation and their breakup. Knowing it’s not a coincidence.

Tells Lucy as such that he can’t help but wonder if there’s a connection. I mean obviously there is. He’s just not going to get that out of either of them. He failed earlier with Tim. Also it's not the connection he think's it is. I do love her instinct to protect Tim regardless of the hurt. Was pressed and she doesn’t budge. That is a natural thing for her bad place or not. Lucy may not fully understand the why of it all. But she would never cast suspicion on him due to it. She just loves him and will protect him even when he has no idea. I’m not crying you are….*sniffle*

Lucy reinforces the idea it was nothing of the sort. That it was just weird timing that’s it. Then she goes into analysis mode. Which is her form of defense mechanism IMO. If she can try to understand it. Figure out the why. Maybe she can start to heal from it. Not have it drown her every single day. Lucy chalks it up to Tim not being emotionally available. I mean that is definitely part of the problem…

He is a disaster zone of a person right now. He’s occupied mentally in a way she has no idea about right now. At this point in time Tim doesn’t even know this about himself. Only that he wasn’t deserving of her love, that he is too toxic, and she’s better off without him. Has no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes for him. Neither does Lucy. It shows how painfully in the dark she is about what went down.

The sports comment is pretty comical though. I mean I totally get being emotional about sports. The Rangers ruined my mood for awhile when they were booted from the playoffs in June. We made it deep into the playoffs too. So I get the hurt. Regardless it’s a funny reply from Grey. Makes Lucy smile too which is a win right now. The look out the window had me cackling haha I love it so much. We need more of them.

Dr. London continues her barrage on Tim and I’m here for it. It’s the only way he responds to emotional stuff. Also I think Blair realizes if she doesn’t come at him hard, she won’t gain any ground with him. Doesn’t hold back when she compares Tim and Lucy to her line about how platonic love. How their's started out as a friendship and blossomed into so much more. *heart clutch* Eric kills me in these shop scenes.

We can feel and see the emotions he’s choking back. The sadness in his reply of ‘I was her T.O.’ He can feel the rush of emotions flooding in so he sends Aaron away. Tries to ward her off by saying he knows what she’s doing. Blair is getting under his skin quickly and he can feel the heat of it. She is poking at a raw nerve and it’s very evident. The looks on his face through out this scene make me wanna cry. Dr. London reminds him breakups evoke anxiety and depression in men.

Tim being Tim tries bravado this time. Saying he’s not depressed. (Ok babe…) That he’s the one who broke up with her. Trying to deflect but it isn’t working on her. Blair doesn’t relent and replies yes he did. BUT she can tell he has immense guilt around doing it. Which we know is true. He feels horrendous for breaking his person's heart. It’s eating at him like a cancer. Exuding out him so much he can’t use his usual tactics to hide it from her. She see's right through him. Like he's glass and she's peering in for a look.

Dr. London continues her pegging of him with this next part. My god does she have him dead to rights. Not only that but she’s getting through. She can’t see his face but if she could she would see it. Eric is masterful once again with his expressive emotions. We watch the range of emotions in this portion. Especially with his eyes. Always the eyes. She really hits home with her analysis of him. You can see it seeping in. I’m so bummed there isn’t a set of this scene. It’s so so good.

Bringing up how internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. If that isn’t our boy in a sentence. Sweet baby James. The part about self directed anger is this man to a tee. An absolute tee. The way he’s soaking in all her info has me deep in my feels. That guilt she mentioned is pouring out of him in this moment. Along with the shame and anger that is starting to build as well. The anger is because she draws a HARD line in the sand about this eval.

That if she can’t tell if he isn’t self destructive by EOD she’s gonna sideline him. How he can keep stonewalling her if he likes but it’s only gonna end in a psych eval. It is a rough way to come at him. But he needs it so badly. Lucy isn’t here to knock it into him. So I’ll be forever grateful Blair was. He of course reverts back to S1 Tim when Aaron re-enters. Snaps at him because he can’t handle the emotions coursing through him. So he takes it out on poor Aaron. What she said has hit very close to home. Sadly Aaron get the repercussions of that.

We go back to Grey and Lucy talking about Tamara. Their case involves a girl being scooped up from babysitting. Has her worried and Grey can tell. I adore him telling her what she’s done with Tamara is wonderful. That Lucy showed her unconditional love. The kind that healed her skeptical heart. Made her wanna launch back into the world due to it. It’s here Lucy circles it back to Tim. With her line about letting people you care about go. How could she not? It’s consumed all her thoughts for days and days. Grey picks up on it immediately. Asking if they’re still talking about Tamara?

This launches a Lucy rant of epic proportions. One I don’t think Grey is even close to be accustomed to lol She is finally ready to unload the emotional burden on her soul. Her reaction here is just further proof she had no idea why Tim did what he did. Also probably has zero idea he got half his unit killed. Bringing on his episode of self loathing. Which prompted the breakup. Saying she has no idea what happened to them. That she can’t stop thinking about it. Girl me too. It consumed a lot of my waking hours in that three week hiatus as well. Only difference is I got to know WHY Tim did it.

It didn’t make it less painful but it helped to know the why. This is where Lucy and I are a lot like. Needing to know the why helps me accept things. Otherwise I go insane. Like I stated earlier her defense mechanism is analysis. She was so damn blindsided by this. Her brain hasn’t caught up to any possibilities of why. Lucy was left in the dark from 6x05-6x06. Only let in with what I can assume was minimal surface level info about Ray. Otherwise her analysis brain could figure out why he did this if she knew EVERYTHING. If she did know she could cobble together exactly the why behind his reasoning.

Lucy going off saying she thought their relationship was worth more. The 'Unless it is.' haunting her. Haunting us all. I couldn't look at happy gifs for a long time.....She thought what they had was worth more than a cheap cop out. It was very cliched how he put it. Which was intentional I'm sure on the writers part. Made it seem like it was a cheap way out of their relationship. Clearly we know it’s SO much more complex than that. But she doesn’t know any of that. Which continues to leave her in the dark and it's painful to watch her struggle with that. I just want to tell her. *screams into a pillow* Instead of having a say in it Tim made the decision for her and it pisses her off.

As it should. It pisses me off. He took her voice and right to an opinion with their breakup. That is something he’s going to have to make up for. Lucy deserved so much better than how that breakup went down. She does deserve to be the one who decides if she wants better. Which she didn’t get to. Nor did she want better. That man was IT for her. And she is thought she was the same for Tim. It’s why her line about struggling with him letting go so easily hurts. Honestly It’s what adds another layer of tragedy to this whole breakup. The miscommunication even in the breakup itself is unreal. Lucy finishes off her rant perfectly though.

Saying even if she wanted total self destruction it was her damn life. Her friggin decision to make that call. Tim straight robbed her of that. Not only did he but left her holding the emotional bag afterward. It’s not right and it’s not fair. Our girl deserved so much better than how he handled that breakup. He has a lot to make up for in s7. But he knows that just not right now…Grey’s face to finish off the scene is everything. Knowing she needed to get that off her soul. That this is why he didn’t want her riding around solo today. This was a much needed spiral in a safe place. So well done Wade. Our girl needed this.

Blair doesn’t even have to wait for an opening in this next scene. Tim jumps in to defend himself about eviscerating Aaron. Saying it’s his style. She continues to read Tim like a frigging book. This is my favorite scene of the episode for him. Just because it’s so telling. Eric is incredibly expressive as she breaks him down. He feels trapped but also can’t deny what she’s telling him. Her assessment is out of the world good.

Another beautiful thing about this scene is she is attacking his problem at it's damaged root. Blair tells him he’s under a lot of stress it's clear. Not just the case though. Saying whatever went down between him and Ray must’ve been real bad for him to lose Metro. To be back on patrol. Tim doing his old move of deflection. Saying how he owns mistakes and moves on. Well he has half of that right… Our boy definitely owns his mistakes. Moving on is a whole other issue.

Dr. London is moving in for the kill at this point. Saying but he hasn’t moved on. How can he when his whole identity is wrapped up in acting honorably? Damn she has him pegged. If he could truly move on. Be solid in that statement we wouldn’t be here. If he could really reconcile with the past he wouldn’t have ended it with Lucy. He feels not worthy and very much not honorable enough to be with her. So he cut ties. *sad sigh* Tim cloaks himself in honor then condemns himself when he falls short of it. Which is why he can't move on. Just adds another pebble to his soul as it were.

Blair continues with her spot on assessment. Her guess being that has taken a devastating effect on his self esteem. We know it has. His entire life he hasn’t felt worthy or deserving. Has has always had the lowest self esteem about himself. Because mistakes were failure growing up. Mistakes of any kind. Which isn't ok. A healthy and good parents loves you through them. Teaches you there are lessons in mistakes. That it’s not the falling down it’s the not getting back up that’s failure. This man has been knocked down more times than I can count.

He got up every single time. Which is incredible and grew him to be resilient af. Sadly to Tim it’s the falling down that is failure. He never saw his getting back up as a positive thing. Just saw it as surviving and it was partly. He didn't see the goodness in getting back up because his father never did. He grew up in a household where mistakes were pain. Whether it was physical or emotional it was abuse for said mistake. Didn't matter what it was. So to Tim if he set high standards for himself. If he acted honorably his chances of mistakes or failure would decrease. (In his mind at least)

The problem with that is he’s human. We’re all human and fall short of expectations. No one set his except him. Hell I just dealt with this writing this review. I set this insane expectation of when I should've been done writing it and I didn't hit it. I was mad at myself for a expectation only I had set. It's the same for Tim. Whenever he fell short of being ‘honorable’ in his mind. It dinged his already fractured self-esteem. To the point where he has none. Lucy rebuilt it over the years. But it goes to show you how little he thinks of himself. That Ray coming back toppled all of that. Imploded it really in a matter of days.

She really brings it home here. Her pièce de résistance as it were. This is where Tim goes from huh? To Oh…Blair notes it’s why he’s been punishing himself. This catches Tim off guard because he’s truly confused. Like I said earlier I don’t know even know Tim knew the deep why of their breakup. He for sure had no idea he was doing this specifically. No doubt in my mind he had zero idea he was punishing himself. I didn't know I was in the story I'm going to use here in a bit.

Now he knew he wasn’t worthy. Knew he didn’t feel deserving of her love and comfort. Because he had acted so dishonorably. To Tim there’s no way she could love him after that. He projected 'Rules matter Boot. 'their entire relationship. Long before they got together. To Tim he created this infallible image of himself to her that he fell short of.

One he tried to instill in her as a cop. Yet he failed to do so. He couldn’t look at himself let alone make her do as such. That's what he understood about what he’d done. Which is insane cause she met him at his worst and still saw his good heart. But that's a rant for another time and place ha Suffice to say it was standard he was holding himself to that she wasn't. I get this so much it pains me.

Blair soldiers on in her explanation. Letting him know he’s depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. I know this tactic all too well. I mentioned this in my mini. But feels appropriate to do so again in terms of relation. I do this myself. Tim and I are very alike it scares me honestly. When I fail at something I punish myself too. I feel I’m getting better at this. But this story is pre-therapy Caitlin lol.

Anyways I did this with my last job. I wasn’t good at it right away. I was close to being fired actually. My leader at the time was confident in my game plan to fix myself. I however was intent on punishing myself for being awful. I was mad I had failed in the first place. Pissed at myself for not being good right away. This clearly being the result of my childhood. Where I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. If I did it resulted in emotional abuse in the form of the silent treatment. So going into adulthood I still held myself to higher standards than anyone ever set for me.

When I fell short of those standards I punished myself. So with this new job I denied myself music. It was something I loved dearly. So in turn until I got my act together I didn’t listen to it. Didn’t felt I deserved till until I rectified my mistake. My boss found out and told me not to be so hard on myself. That there was no need to punish myself. I hadn't even realized that's what I was doing till she said that. I still was hard on myself but allowed her faith in me to let myself listen to music again. It ended up being what saved me.

This is why I relate so hard to him doing this. Because I did it. My whole life. Tim doesn’t even realize till now he’s punishing himself this way. He’s denied himself his person. What brings him the most constant joy in his life? Lucy. Who is the radiant sunshine that made his life better? Lucy. So. In turn he is denying himself the one person he feels he doesn’t deserve. Punishing himself by denying himself her presence, he is simultaneously depriving himself of the happiness their relationship brings him. We know how happy she's made him. The highest form of penance is sacrificing that. Oh my broken boy.

I love her saying 'Or more accurately someone.' She saw what went down at the kit room. How Tim longingly looked at Lucy when she departed. Knows this man is still so in love with her. It’s obvious he hasn’t made this connection himself till she says this. We see it dawning on Tim. Her getting through to him. We watch as this hits Tim square in his chest. Or really his heart. She has struck a deep chord and it shows all over his reaction. Especially in the second gif. Tim is holding back actual tears as it hits him.

Ugh my heart. Damn you Eric. As quickly as he comes to this realization Aaron re enters the car. Tim has to readjust and adapt back to hard ass. Was bummed couldn't fit this in but he struggles with it. Aaron is smart enough not to ask if he’s ok twice… I do remember being excited by this scene. Because I felt it would propel him toward therapy. To knowing he needs help. All the signs can be there but you have to see the need for it. I'll be forever grateful to Dr. London for helping him see it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo. Melissa you’re killing me. But also don’t stop. I love that you do that. It makes me wanna cry though. Because we all know why she reaches for it. It’s to remind herself she’s a survivor. The only problem is that idea came from Tim….That entire grounding exercise is wrapped up in him. So it’s painful she has to now use it about him. It’s beautifully tragic and subtle.

Which is why it hurts so good. Mostly hurts atm. Until they’re reconciled anyways. It PAINS me to see how awkward they are with one another. To go from being so damn linked to this disjointed mess….I hate it so much. Eric and Melissa do it so well though. The body language and the nervousness pouring out of them. Lucy wanting to start something but not knowing where to begin. At a loss for words.

Tim doesn’t help her at all. Just stands there like an awko taco. That lyric ‘I’ve never been a fighter.’ Ringing through the silence. Ugh the music attacking us once again in the best way. This song is so good for this moment. I truly think having listened to it enough times now. Feel it’s Lucy POV with these lyrics. Which I’ll delve into more in the side notes. This entire scene just hurts. Like poking a unhealed wound.

I have to note this gif separately. Said this a lot this ep but damn you Eric. His precious little smile here is killing me softly. He’s spent the entire ep on pins and needles. Avoiding his feelings. Lashing out at everyone around him. Then being hit with some serious realizations. Then he sees sees Lucy and it appears. That Lucy smile of his. But he forgets he can’t be flashing that adorable smile to her anymore. He lost the right to find comfort in her presence when he walked away from them. From her.

The smile also kills me because he’s so in love with her. Look at that man above. It’s written all over that smile. It hurts to watch. I saw a great tag for this gif. ‘idk what hurts more his little smile or his shining eyes.’ Honestly? Both. They both hurt….Once again he has no right to be showing her those in love eyes paired with tears. Only hurts her more. Hell it’s killing me. It pains me he’s punishing them both for this spiral. This scene hurts so much but starting out with this smile. *sigh* I'm dying Timothy. You've killed me.

Truly blinded by his own shortcomings at the start of this scene. Thought he could just jump back in there and be normal. That there’s no way she loved him like he loved her. So she would be more normal and ok after their break up than him. My broken Timothy you hurt my heart on so many levels. Not only that but makes a joke about clocking out. He's nervous in his delivery of it too. Which he should be. He exploded them and is making small talk? Oh Tim. No....

Lucy calls him out instantly for it. I adore her for the stand she takes here. Not only not letting hide in small talk but getting her side in finally. Refusing to let him force normalcy on them when they never had a real talk. An actual adult convo. Insulted he wants to hide in chit chat. No matter the place they’re in Lucy is always going to tell him like it is. We all know he loves her for it even when it hurts like hell like this scene does.

Lucy reams him like she should. Letting out all the emotions she never got to express. Also what she’s been stewing on. Telling him what she has been holding onto the past week. Saying how he’s been so concerned with what she deserves. That he BLEW past them even having an adult conversation. Which he most definitely did. Also it saddens me the physical distance in this scene. They’re never ever that far apart. Very telling of where they are right know. I hate it.

You can see the discord between just by their physical distance. What kills me is she gives him a chance to rectify it. To have that convo. Tim deflects because the man is no where near ready for that kind of conversation. It reflects in his reply. He only continues to see he isn’t worthy of her. You are everything she wants you foolish man. He doesn't have a damn clue with that though. So he continues to push her back. Away from him and his turmoil.

It’s here I’m so proud of Lucy. She stands her ground and sets a boundary. Which is not easy BTW. It's insanely hard. Telling Tim he has a lot more to work on that she realized.... That she wishes him good luck with that. But she clearly isn’t the person to help him anymore. *heart clutch* My heart is on the ground again. I get it though. She is stepping away from him and how nuclear he is. It’s such a good boundary to set for herself. For her sanity really.

Another great quote from that book mentioned last ep. “A boundary is our only fighting chance at reclaiming our peace.” It’s the only way she can regain any semblance of peace. To move on from this and heal. Have couple more that are so appropriate here. “People who are irresponsible with our hearts shouldn’t be granted great access to them.” Tim hurt her heart so greatly. Betrayed her trust so deeply. This boundary is to protect herself. But also to keep Tim from having the access he once had. It's easy to see he isn't budging so even if it pains her she has to create distance for herself.

Final one “Love can be unconditional but access doesn’t have to be.” Lucy still loves that man unconditionally but can’t allow him to access her heart anymore. She gave him one last shot and he blew it. So she retreated like she should when he denied her. Does kill me she is clutching her tattoo end of this scene as well. It's what keeps that boundary in place and her feet moving forward. Breaking my heart all over again in an instant. I'll just be sobbing in the corner no big deal...

I was pleasantly surprised when we got another moment in Grey’s office. Thinking that was the end of it. I was hoping against hope Tim wanted to reach out and get help. This scene delivers in spades on that. Tim fully expecting to be mandated therapy. We can see he’s actually disappointed when she has a good review of him. Reporting it won’t affect his work. I’m glad she did because it’s prompts Tim to advocate for himself in this moment.

To say I’m proud of him is an understatement. To not only see he has work to do but reach out for the help to accomplish that. The relief this made me feel is immense. Tim says he was expecting her to say he had a lot of work to do on himself. Grey opens the dialogue asking if he does? Tim says he thinks so…Such a huge step for him. I could cry. Hell I was misty when this scene happened. Tim then asks what Grey thinks of him seeing her regularly?

Wade's reply makes me heart so happy. That it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It really does. There is nothing scarier than asking for help. Especially with your mental health. Men have it easy in a lot of ways IMO. This is not one of them. They are told not to have feelings, or anxiety, god help them if they mental health issues. Tim coming to this place is incredible. This is a milestone scene for his character. I loved the writers tackling mental health this year. For doing it with Tim too. I could cry at how proud I am for him reaching out. For realizing something is amiss and knowing he needs to fix it.

As if this episode wasn’t making me cry enough. This final scene with Tamara gets me teary. Other than Tim and Lucy they’ve been my fav. Been beautiful to watch them both grow. It helped Tamara heal her untrusting heart. That unconditional love Lucy gave her never wavered. It helped rebuild her faith in people. In herself. I know it helped Lucy heal from Jackson. To show her to open her heart again after losing him.

They healed one another and it makes me emotional writing about it. They’re sisters and family all wrapped up in one. Hard to watch Lucy lose another piece of her life though. Truly hope this pain and loss helps her grow. If there is anything I've learned in therapy is that. Growing through the pain. I hope s7 treats her kindly after this harsh season. It’ll be make all the hurt she goes through so much better. I’ll be fascinated to see how s7 starts for her. How it progresses.

Where she’s at emotionally and mentally. My heart hurts for her in this season. So very much. I can’t even explain the level of ache I feel for Lucy. Our girl deserves the world and more. I hope she explores herself more next season. Tunes into how she doesn’t tend to take care of herself. Think she is on a growth journey of her own. It starts here though. I’ll be excited to see how s7 plays out for her. The end. of this scene is funny. Lucy begging her not to tell the car story at dinner LOL

This is gigantic growth right here. Coming here like this. Telling Dr. London that he was thinking on all she said. He is going against his better nature and reaching out. Admitting something is wrong and doing something about it. I know how hard it is to reach a place where you do this. What’s so beautiful about this development is Tim seeing he needs help. It's why he's here. He can feel something inside him is broken. He doesn’t know how to fix it so he is reaching out to someone who does. Tim can tell something is wrong and just wants to fix it.

To understand why and to get better. It is not a light decision to start therapy. It really isn’t. I ran away from my feelings for years. Damn near a decade really. Made light of the abuse I had growing up. Would crack jokes about it even. Because that was my defense mechanism. It was easier than dealing with what really happened to me. Ignoring how emotionally unstable and imbalanced I was due to it. I spent most of my 20s running away from help. From therapy. When it was brought up to me I would shoot it down like Tim. Call it nonsense and how I didn’t need it. I was also like Tim (Still am. WIP over here) and wrapped my identity up in the same stuff.

Being so fucking harsh on myself it was unreal. I still struggle with giving myself grace. I feel I’ve gotten better but it’s still a daily battle. It’s hard to explain the feeling you get when you know you can’t out run your demons anymore. There is just something that goes off inside you like an alarm. It tells you it doesn’t feel right, that you don’t know how to fix it, but it is time you ought to. All I know is it is different for everyone. What set me off is very different from Tim’s. His was a past mistake that came with a side of buried trauma.

Mine was a kind comment meant to make me feel good. Also some buried trauma. I was helping this sweet old lady who was a client of mine. She noted the earrings I was wearing and said they were nice. Told her my mom gave them to me with no emotion in my tone. I’ll never forget the sweet look in her eyes as she told me ‘Your mother must love you very much.’ What should’ve been a nice comment was a huge trigger for me. My mother is some of my deepest seated trauma. It set me off like nothing ever has before.

Her saying that unlocked this pandoras box of emotions. One I spent nearly a decade suppressing. I got into my car afterward and cried. I texted my sister telling her I think it was time I got help. I felt something was wrong. Wrong enough to do something about it. My repressed emotions had clawed to the surface for air. I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I had to get help. Something was broken and I needed the help to fix it. So that brings us back to Tim in this moment. To why he is standing here right now before Dr. London.

He tells her she is right. That he is mad at himself. We can see the realization just wash over Tim. Like he’s opening his eyes for the first time in forever. We can also see the disappointment on his face when she says tomorrow. He is wanting to talk about this right then and there. I’m same way (shock surprise I know.) Blair sees this and asks if it’s an emergency? Tim doing what he does best says no. Trying to do the “honorable” and not burden her with his needs. Because it’s easy to see yourself as a burden to everyone when you’ve been treated like one most of your life.

It’s what makes Tim digging deep and saying no I need this now below so massive. Watching him advocate for himself *sigh* I wanna cry. Because this scene is HUGE for him. I remember thinking to those who were hating on him at the time. If you can’t grasp how groundbreaking this is. You don’t get his character at all. Nor have you ever struggled with mental health issues or asking for help. Anyone who was nasty about his mental health made me so mad. To be that cold and insensitive meant to me you were emotionally immature yourself. I'll die on that hill happily.

If you need help understanding Tim in this moment or this episode please use my experience. What happened with me and what it took to bring me to therapy. Because they are similar. That is this man in this moment. Realizing Ray resurfaced all his demons. They came up for air and weren’t going away this time. Just like mine. This is Tim’s ‘Come to Jesus’ moment in regard to his mental health. He’s standing here because everything Dr. London told him rang true. Hit a chord inside him it was time to get right.

The thing is he doesn’t know how to handle it. Which is why he is reaching out like this. I do wanna say Lucy got him to a better place for him to do this. S1 Tim wouldn’t have reacted this way to Dr. London. Not at all. I don’t wanna forget the impact she’s had on him. But this is not Lucy’s problem to fix. She even stated that in their scene together. She is not the one which sucks. But this is not her journey to be on. A healing journey is a very personal and vulnerable thing. It’s one you have to do by yourself. (And with your therapist)

My friends and family helped prep me for mine. I’m so grateful for that. To get me to place where I could see I needed the help. But it was up to ME to take that first step. That's what this scene represents for Tim. Taking that ever so painful and scary first step into healing. Tim can see the work he has to do and that is progress. I truly truly hope he continues therapy in s7.

Despite Blair. I’m so excited they went this path with him. Didn’t just try and fix them and gloss over the fact he needs help. Appreciate the proper care they took with this SL. It also may not have felt like it at the time. But it’s paving a path of healing for them in the future. Tim’s head right will be best for them when they heal and reunite. Phew This was a doozy to tackle. I hope you all enjoyed it. And those who didn’t read my mini can see Tim’s POV and the WHY of everything. As I’ve said many times it is not to excuse but to explain.

Side Notes-Very Much Chenford

This will be Chenford related . I wanted a section to go over this glorious song 'The Ventura Exit.' Just wasn't room in the review to do it. So I'm doing it my side notes. More I listened to it the more it was perfect for this episode. Especially with what Lucy's is going through. It feels very much from her POV. The lyrics hit so much and have to be acknowledged IMO. First couple are just angsty musings from the song. They clearly aren't canon but evoked these thoughts in me. Others felt more canon driven.

"The first night I woke up four times on your side of the bed." This lyric could be said of the both of them. But this makes me think of her reaching out to his side in middle of the night. You know she probably still had on and off nightmares about DOD. Reaching out to him being a default for her. I could see that first night of their breakup this happening. This song put stuff in my head I had to get out lol

"Fighting muscle memory expecting a hand to be there when I reach out. Taking the Ventura exit to your house." This song is playing through out the rest of the episode. You can hear the lyrics if you really listen. I'm sure she fought the auto pilot to his house during that week as well. I know we only see them at her place but you know she was over there a lot too. Probably had her own drawer and all that. "I don’t hate you, but the more I think on it you let me down (You couldn’t see me. You stopped believing)" This encapsulates everything in this episode for Lucy. She doesn't hate him but he let her down SOOO much. He couldn't see her in their fight. He stop believing in them. Believing in her. So heartbreaking how perfect this song is. I wanna cry. "I miss you, I miss you, I’ll never forgive you. I wish I was with you I miss you I miss you I’ll always forgive you." I loved it ending on this lyric. Starts out with anger and never forgiving then it does. Because that is true of Lucy. She misses him so much but is so damn angry with him. But wishes she was with him. Which is why the ending lyric being that gets. me in the feels. We know she'll always forgive him. She loves this man too much not too.

I believe that's what we'll see in s7. Especially with him working on himself. That and giving her whatever doses she allows for him to show how much she means to him. This lyric made me hopeful for the first time since 6x05. If you don't have this song I highly recommend buying it. Not only is is perfect for this episode and them. It's just a REALLY good song. You can listen to it in full in the link I posted though. Thank you for all the likes, comments ( I LOVE comments don't be shy ha ) and reblogs. You are the reason I do these. I shall see you in 6x08 :)

[blairwld]

the way that he keeps using shiny jewerly to make her feel better instead of actually be there for her or. you know. apologize for making her life miserable

[strideofpride]

Okay so something that people may not know is that when a show is trying to get picked up for a new season, the showrunner usually has to pitch an entire season arc to the network. Obviously, a TV season is a living thing that changes as it goes along, but typically a season premiere and a season finale will mirror/bookend each other, at least with the main characters. In season 1, when Dan and Serena are the main couple, the pilot is their first date, and they break up in the finale. In the season 2 premiere, Chuck and Blair have become the main couple. The premiere sets up the main arc of the season "Can Chuck tell Blair he loves her?" In the finale he finally does. The season 3 premiere sets up the question "Can Chuck and Blair's relationship survive his womanizing ways?" In the season 3 finale, the answer to that is a firm no. In season 4, the main question is "Can Chuck become a better man?" I obviously say no, but I believe the writers' intentions were that Chuck letting Blair go for happiness with Louis is supposed to show that Chuck is a "better man" now. Skipping ahead to season 6, the question is "Can Chuck and Blair ever get it together and get married?" and well, we all know how that ends.

But season 5...season 5 is an outlier. The premiere and the finale don't mirror/bookend each other at all. Chuck and Blair are separated the entire episode (in fact, it's probably the only episode post s1 where Blair never even utters Chuck's name). Chuck is trying to move on from Blair and has gone on a thrill-seeking kick. Blair meanwhile is consumed with her royal wedding and all that that life will entail. We're only reminded that her story with Chuck might not be over when her pregnancy is revealed at the end (and it's not even his baby - though the audience didn't know that yet).

Instead, the emotional peak of the episode involves Dan and Blair instead. When Blair wants to run away, thinking Louis will never put her first, she goes to Dan. When she learns that in reality Louis was just helping Dan, she's upset and asks why Dan didn't just tell her the truth. Of course, the audience knows that Dan's in love with Blair, but he can't bring himself to tell her that.

All this to say...I feel like the season 5 finale was initially supposed to be more about Dan and Blair. I think maybe what we got at the end of 523, Dan telling Blair he loves her and her not being able to say it back, would've been the original ending of 524. Because that would've been the perfect mirror/bookend to what they had set up in the season 5 premiere.

Now does this mean we would've gotten Dair endgame? Probably not. I'm personally not convinced Safran was on the Dair endgame train, given how much of season 5 still was about Chuck and Blair, especially the first half of the season. BUT I do really think now that the Chair fanfiction episode that was 524 was NOT supposed to happen the way it did. I really am going full conspiracy theory now that that ep was rewritten after Safran left. We already know they changed GG's identity from Nate to Dan after he left...it's not that far fetched.

[momowoah]

Was too lazy to make three posts so here are my thoughts on the last trio of GG eps

Spoilers under the cut

Episode 10

Julien's smile when she looked at Zoya <3

Audrey being worried bc Max skipped classes and wanting him to be around + Julien supporting throuple is the best

Also Max not wanting to talk with or be around them...

Kate is hilarious sometimes

Nice change to see Audrey and Monet in the same place and not fighting lately

Aki's TikTok lmaoooo

That's so embarrassing, poor him

Max's smile after teasing Aki

Also Audrey and Zoya being completely friendly?

I will absolutely love to watch Monet and Julien fighting for the crown next season but rn I'm loving watching all of them be friends

Zoya really is becoming Luna's scheming prentice

Wasn't Julien crying every 3 seconds last week? Why is she so cheerful now?

Them pretending they're not in love

"You promised you wouldn't come" stop breaking my heart

Why is he screaming

Her hair is pretty now

Jor-Jor lmao

Luna in denial and Monet trying to hold it together

ELEANOR AND CYRUS!!!

Wait, so Blair and Chuck got Cyrus's mother's house before they moved to Paris or did they just decide to hold Derena's wedding there?

Vanya in the background too

DOROTA!!!!!! The truly best character of gg

Calloway is mentioned and suddenly Audrey doesn't know anything about them

Thought the lines Monet couldn't cross would be, idk, but it's literally inviting Ju-lions lol

These two shouldn't be teachers. Actually no teachers in this show should be teachers but whatever.

Luna really is in full denial

Why is Julien talking like she's also twelve

At times like this, I do not like Julien at all

"You weren't even supposed to be here" "Why do you keep saying that?" Aaaaaaaa

"I told you not to call me" I KNOW I SAID I WANTED ANGST BUT STOP

Aki sitting in the chair and looking up at the officer before smiling lmao

Bad timing but I love Jobie

The Max Aki scene was so casual but so good

More Blair mentions

I don't even know who was right in Julien and Zoya's fight, but Julien is annoying me more these past days so I'm going with Zoya

Roy saying he came for his son when he came for Gideon... No

Also I wish Aki wouldn't have let Max hear that

Why can't Max be happy

I like that Kate cares about Julien

The cellphone was a perfect catch... Did they combine a video of Kate throwing it with one of Scott holding it?

Finally Aki getting posts about him! Not truly GG until everyone gets a post

Still don't get why Zoya risked her scholarship

Yeah, Audrey and Zoya are right

Audrey and Aki, I love you, but leave Max alone until you realize how the three of you actually feel

Yeah, Lola is kinda meh

Call them out yes

The three were almost crying though

WHY DELETE HONESTLY

Ep 11~~~

Aaaaaaa Aki and Audrey just stop and apologize

Is Gideon like 2 meters tall or is he always wearing heels? I swear he looks way too much taller than everyone else

"and whichever sister you're dating now"

"They're just not, uh..." THEY'RE JUST NOT MAX

I loved her straight long hair btw

Ouch Julien, that must've hurt

Max talking about Heidi while Obie tries to pretend he's not listening

Did they ever interact before? I like this

Okay I like Shan

Why didn't Jordan just change the password or deactivate?

Wendy is Obie but teachers version

Shan is at the same time a bad and amazing influence

I feel like I know Julien's grandma actress

The fact that they called Jamison over will never not be hilarious

Still don't get why or how Aki and Audrey went from "something's missing" to "we only need each other" to "something's missing" again in like a month

I didn't even realize Z did her nails the first time watching, they are pretty

Also hopefully next season will be fully Zoya and Shan being besties bc I'm absolutely adoring her

Someone said Zoya was in her Jenny Humphrey phase and like yeah she is

The way Heidi had been back for what, two days and realized Max was in pain before any of his friends did is just...

Is this supposed to be two stock photos or young Julien and Audrey?

"The mood is dessert" lmao

Is it bad I can't understand like a single reference they make in this show?

Audrey crying bc JC is leaving is breaking my heart rn

I don't know if Shan is just improvising but if she's not then she's really good at noticing what others feel

And a really good friend

Then why did you go through with posting it Kate?

Why is everyone saying Nick's actor is terrible? There has been worse on this show

I really love how Julien and Zoya smile when they see each other

I hope we get more of Pippa and Bianca too lol

Max stop plz be happy

Again, genuinely thought Pippa and Bianca were going to kiss

"Some thing isn't missing. Is it?" "He's missing" "He's missing. It's him." And now I'm crying, best scene

Why did you give it to him Gideon? Wtf? Why would you say that?

Last time this took five seasons

Why were they so nervous, I don't think most of them ever sent a tip

No Lunet :(

Now EP 12 yay! Season finale!

Brutal! Yes!

Pausing the show to read the tips sent in is totally worth it

Absolutely hate this Max scene

There are 1263 tips of Audrey + Aki? Wow

And 8578 of Max

Is he wearing eye makeup?

"And we didn't get arrested in the process"

Everytime someone says "I gotta go" all I can think about is Serena, lmao

Luna and Monet suggesting Julien seduces Aki and sleeps with him + Audrey and maybe Max what

what was exhibit C..?

I don't really like how Audrey and Aki don't care about Max unless they want him but whatever

Still rooting for throuple, they are cute together

Also when they do care about him it's the best thing in the show

I have said this before but I really love how Aki and Audrey just try to figure it all out always together. She promised this in ep 4 and never even thought about doing it any other way

I still ship Julien and Obie idc idc

It's weird how Luna and Monet just invite the school to a house that's not even theirs

Camille speaks just like Monet

Cannot understand the rule of only walking but ok

Grace is cute

The way Audrey flipped her head to Aki when Max came in lmao her expressions are always gold

Zoya lmao

Cute couple (but um just to confirm how old is he?)

"Lulu" aaaaaaa

Zoya's look when she saw the Roger picture lol but like same

I would also be completely lost

"I only play emotional games"

She didn't get Frida Kahlo? Girl...

"Let us mean girls turn her into a mean girl" I love the way she says mean girl

Davis Calloway is acting weird

Audrey trying to smile when she calls them a couple

This episode has so much Lunet, I love it

Who sent Davis the blackberry? Was it supposed to be Julien returning it or is his lawyer going to be a big plotwist or something

Best scene in the show I don't make the rules they look so good all dancing together

Is it Audrey singing these little bits?

Still don't get how Audrey and Aki thought this idea would work

Don't know how but I'm still surprised by how JC Luna and Monet treat people sometimes, even if it was always like that

Zoya too apparently

"All or nothing"

"If you're in, we're in"

My throuple aaaaaa

The one for all rule scares me tho

Bc tv shows aren't exactly known for their not on-and-off, long lasting relationships

And if they breakup it will be harder for them to get back together

And two of them can't just come back together as a couple

So, no Akiaudrey, Maudrey or Akimax ever

Please don't break them up

Grace's "You think staying it's winning?" was probably the best line of the show, we rarely see the group as the villains, even in the og

"Three, Two, One" Lumax friendship ftw

Zoya is always making points

And Julien acts like she's in a completely different planet

They really need the truth to smack them in their faces to listen to it huh

Why didn't Kate just pay for the cab. Why confront her.

Camille is a biotechnologist and complaining abt schools closing in the pandemic?

Camille was right about GG (even though she sent tips herself so I guess not really)

Camille destroyed Kate and she still think that counts as standing up for herself

Julien really thought that would work?

Also Obie do you love her or not just stick to your choice

"I just told Camille de Haan off" you didn't

Kate literally just shut up

Go Nick

"One for all or none for none"

finally, throuple

The hug aaaaa

"Now remember, one of you gets me at midnight, and the other one gets to go to the station alone"

Julien and Zoya finally making up

"Anyone could have been it, even me" and the way her face lights up finally Monet as queen JC was too nice anyways

Please tell me they are going up against each other. I need the drama.

Cute throuple

Also the boss fight song while Julien does her speech and declares war on gg

Monet queen

Julien really just apologized for being a bad friend only to betray everyone she knows

Mutually assured destruction

Julien's "I know you love me, XOXO" yes

What was Kate's condition

What did JC send her

"I'm Julien fucking Calloway"

"Did you miss me? I know I've missed you"

Does real Gossip Girl start now?

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[gossipgirls]

what are your most unpopular gossip girl opinions (if you have any)

ohhhh god okay. i’ve voiced most of these already but having them all bundled up in one post feels like holding up a big “COME DRAG ME” sign. but here we go.

serena is a good character. a lot of people who hate her just either don’t get her or don’t care to try (which is fine haha but don’t go around saying she’s just a shit character then).

serena was never a worse friend to blair than blair was to her. they balanced each other out. 

dan was the only appropriate choice for the identity of gossip girl and i’m not all that bothered by the inconsistencies/plot holes (i.e. “but he was surprised when he saw that one blast!”) - this is definitely because i am an infp and i barely care about details as long as the big picture makes sense to me lmao. eric wasn’t a relevant enough character for it to matter, dorota would’ve been funny but would have made absolutely no contribution to the show’s messaging and would have been way too campy of an ending, georgina was too obvious, nate would have been ooc (particularly since, god love him, he’s just not smart enough to pull it off honestly).

on that same note, derena’s endgame was not ooc for either of them. she definitely deserved way way way better and it’s not my desired ending for her, but it was the most logical way to end the show considering its messaging.

dan and blair were good in s4. i enjoyed them as friends with some unexplored romantic tension and dan having a small crush. it suited them well, and it should have stayed that way for the rest of the series (and would have stayed that way if she hadn’t been depressed and lonely in s5, but that’s not an unpopular opinion lol). but i’ve never been opposed to their s4 kiss or the s4 connection in general.

the majority of the most difficult parts of the show to watch are blairena’s fights. i know a lot of people think of chair as the driving force of the show and like... i love chair and the show was always way more interesting to me when they were together, but i think it’s kind of undeniable that the show just genuinely didn’t work as well when blairena were on the outs after s1. thus, THEY were the central and most important relationship of the show, not anybody else.

jenny and vanessa aren’t that bad. i actually like jenny at several moments, while i just think vanessa is hated way more than she deserves. she was annoying, i guess, but never a truly bad person.

i love ivy. 🤷‍♀️

while i ship serenate above any other serena or nate ship, i often think a van der baizen endgame would have made serena happier than a serenate endgame and would have been truest to the wishes she had expressed since season 1.

beatrice grimaldi is kind of an underrated char, probably because she wasn’t in many eps and because she was working against blair. she was awful but, like, deliciously so.

as a feminist and a fan of serena, i want serena to have a career and succeed and be stable and happy. but her career-based plots were dreadfully boring (so were most characters’ though).

i never minded eva/cheva lmfao. they lasted for like 4 episodes so i don’t care enough to either ship them or hate them, like how anybody even has a strong opinion on them is beyond me. like it just happened so fast that idk why they’re either passionately hated as if they were meant to be a serious ship, or shipped as if they were anything but a symptom of chuck’s escapism.

dan/georgina > every single other dan ship

tripp sucked but the entire s3 tripp plot was honestly absolutely STELLAR.

this is probably just unpopular because nobody but me is thinking about it, but i would have liked for alison humphrey to stay in nyc and be a recurring character (not in every ep like rufus, but just every now and then like harold or cyrus).

juliet could have been a really fucking cool character and i loved her at first sight in 4x01 before i saw the end of the episode. she was snarky and funny and challenged nate in a way that gave him some more depth for a minute. the whole ben plot ruined her, obviously, but she was kinda exactly the kind of woman i’d want nate to be with if not serena...?

i didn’t mind louis at all until he started scheming with chuck’s therapist and then obviously his behaviour at the wedding reception. i didn’t love him and didn’t find blair/louis shippable, but like... they weren’t bad... i’ve never minded watching them together...

i, uh... i didn’t mind sage spence either... she did the same sorts of things that blair and serena did at her age.

the pact with god plot was totally one of the worst blair plots but honestly... not as unrealistic as everyone says and not as out of character as everyone says.

i’m sure this is actually popular, but it just needs to be said: raina should’ve stayed on the show after s4. 

jack bass was neither funny nor interesting.

[lawandorderforevercsi]

Their Feelings Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Forever, the show belongs to Matt Miller and ABC.

Author's Note: Rediscovering Forever randomly and for the first time since I started watching the show when it debuted in 2014, I realized how much I love the show!

A/N 2: Not beta'd so any errors that appear are my own.

Post Ep: Last Death of Henry Morgan (1.22)

"What am I to you?"

"You're my friend, my partner. Someone I care very deeply about"

"But not enough to trust, huh? Here's what you've been to me. You are someone who has frustrated me and confused me and made me look at life in a different way. Most importantly, you have me made feel again. For that, I will always be grateful. Get out, Henry!"

For Detective Jo Martinez, today of all days had been a long and tough day. Tough because of the homicide case of Blair Dryden. But long because of something else entirely.

As the case they have put the pieces of the case puzzle together, Jo figured out that Henry was hiding something big. She was none too happy that he couldn't trust enough to tell her of his secret. Saying what she wanted to say, Jo asked him to get out of her car but regretted it as she didn't give him a chance to come clean. It took her to give him his watch, and a nudge from Abe a dated photo back for him to tell her. Henry began the long tale of his life.

Once she finally heard the whole story suffice to say, it overwhelmed her. Bidding them good night, she left the antique shop made it home on autopilot, and after a quick shower and salad for dinner, she was on the couch, and she thought over what he said to her. The most major the bombshell was his age and how he can get killed by never die, well not yet.

She thought Henry is over 230 years old? Mind-boggling for sure.

Finally, the adrenaline wore Jo soon fast asleep on the couch. However, as luck would have it, Jo had barely fallen asleep when he heard, "Ms. Josephine, it's time to wake up. You're getting married this afternoon."

Jo shook his head as he opened his eyes and thought, 'Huh... wait a minute, me getting married? I just got home!'

He woke up and realized he was not in her townhouse in NYC but a big Antebellum home, and there were several antiques in her room. As day and dream progressed, she learned she was the daughter of a wealthy banker in South Carolina and that she was to marry someone of equal importance in society. Everything was a blur, and before long, she was in a gown about to walk down the aisle. There was no expense spared. There were roses decorated everywhere, every nook and cranny. There she had seen the groom standing. She realized it was a replay of her and Sean's wedding with Sean but with more grandeur. However, when she arrived at the altar and saw the groom, it wasn't Sean, it was Henry's. Suddenly Jo was awakened by a distant sound, the knock of a door. Jo was drawn back to reality. She looked around and saw that she had fallen asleep where she sat.

Stretching and redoing her hair quickly and went to answer. Having her gun near her, she checked and saw it was Henry. She asked, "Can I help you, Henry?"

When Henry saw her in a form-fitting top and shorts, he was gob-smacked. He knew that Jo was beautiful inside and out. But what he saw her in made him speechless. Half irritated, and half-amused Jo asked, "Henry?"

Shaking his trance, Henry cleared his voice and said, "After you left, I thought about my actions. Jo, I am profusely sorry I wasn't able to confide in you when we were in your car. I just wasn't sure if you would believe me. It took my last encounter with Adam to make me realize one thing."

Jo asked tersely this time, "And that is what?"

Henry stepped closer, invading her personal space, which he knew could backfire for him. But he didn't care; he now knew what he wanted. He said, "I want you in my life. Not just as a colleague or a friend, but as a...well, this will help."

Henry steps even closer, invading her personal space, places his hand on her waist, pulled her in, and kissed her hard. While Jo was surprised, she did a mental victory dance. Yes, she was mad at him for taking a long time to her his secret, but he was the one who helped her feel again.

Just as she was about to respond when he pulled away, she thought darn it Jo. Your timing is getting slow.

Henry pulled away, thinking he screwed it up. He said, "I guess you don't feel the same way. I don't blame you. I will go and in the morning put in a request for a transfer."

Jo was not about to let a good man walk away. Before Henry could move away and go back home, he felt Jo pull on his hand and into her residence. Once they were in, Jo had Henry pinned to the wall closest to the door. Holding him in place with her hands, she fused not only her body to him but also returned the favor and crushed her lips to his setting a sizzling kiss. Henry responded by wounding his arms her waist and settled them on the small of her back and passionately made out like horny teenagers.

When they parted lips to get air, the new-minted lovers rested their heads together, and he saw that Jo had the biggest smile on her face. Jo spoke, "I love you too, you lug, and from now on, we don't keep any secrets, okay?"

He said, "I completely agree with you, my dear Jo."

Hearing him call her dear made her heart leap. Following a brief moment of silence, Jo said, "Henry, also thank you for helping me fulfill a fantasy."

Intrigued, Henry asked, "What fantasy would that be?"

Jo explained, "I have always had the fantasy of being an ordinary girl being kiss the popular boy."

Henry smiled. He leaned in for another kiss, which Jo didn't even hesitate to deepen. However, before it got to heated, Henry broke the kiss, causing Jo to whimper at the loss of his soft lips. While he wanted to take her to bed now, he wanted to do it the right way. He spoke softly, "Jo, I want this done properly. You deserve to be courted and treated like a queen. You deserve to be worshipped. I want to do that and show how much you mean to me."

Jo smiled. There were no words to describe Henry except the gentleman who wanted to do things the right way. She asked, "Dr. Morgan, are you asking me on a date?"

Henry replied cheekily, "Why indeed I am Detective Martinez. Be ready tomorrow night at seven. The dress is formal. That is all you get from me."

She walked him to the door, and after pulling him in for another kiss and they bid adieu. When Jo closed the door, she knew her heart belonged only to one Henry Morgan.

A/N 3: Thanks for reading "Their Feelings". Keep an eye out for the missing scenes for this story.

[youreonyourown-kid]

ALL STARS 5ep3

I always watch the new episode a day late so i get spoiler, people were saying this episode was terrible so I had low expectations and actually enjoyed it lol 

this challenge was weird, especially cause it was a lot like the club episode in as4 and i thought most people hated that episode? 

ngl i love cracker and alexis clashes and i think it shows alot about how early season girls played the game vs later season girls

like honestly im not playing any of this “villian” business and just appreciate the good tv we are getting and u should 2

im still mad at how the show/fans treated vixen so i refuse to buy what other people sell as a villain, and try to support those girls extra hard.

Also i love Shea standing up for cracker. 

ANYwho yeah the challenge itself was actually pretty dull

i dont get how blair and mayham had the best thing but juju won? WHat?

Im glad Mayham did well this episode tho, i do like her I just feel like she finally has a spot and she didnt the first couple eps

I knew ru is a huge fan of golden girls, so i thought that would be a great idea, but it was lacking any energy..

Okay i love shea but honestly i did think she did so bad in the challenge. Maybe just cause I have such high expectations??

THE LOOK THO I feel like it didnt get enough respect i was hypnotized. Like it’s burned in my minds eye. And I feel like her expressions worked so well with that make up.  

I really hope alexis wins a challenge soon. SHe’s so good and I worry about fans turning on her (choosing shea’s lipstick, conflict with cracker. I love her for these things but..)

OKAY I MOSTLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT MONET’S LIPSYNC MY GOD

I LOVE MONET

ONE OF MY FAVE QUEENS. THE LOOK. THE FACE. THE ENERGY. THE TALENT.

NGL sometimes when I listen to Bob and Monet’s podcast (sibling rivalry go listen if you havent) I always find myself more in love with Bob, and Monet I still love but do think of her as more of the little sister lol.

BUT THAT LIPSYNC I AM A MONET STAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

I just love her. And her and craker running up to eachother and hugging made me so happy. 

I’m gunna miss Mariah, she is such an amazing Queen. 

[smallerinfinities]

Winterlude

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY @harryandmolly! She has no idea this is coming. That bitch loves surprises. I’m not gonna get too gross but like...I love my Molly. She’s the Serena to my Blair. The Blair to my Serena. The light to my dark. The syrup to my waffles. The gin to my juice (yeah I went there). Thank you for listening to my many neuroses and insecurities and for being positive when I can’t be. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life (even if it’s only been like six months) 💜 

warnings: 1.1k of pure, unadulterated fluff

The snow on the balcony was starting to collect in drifts. It was coming down in sheets of bright white when Shawn finally opened the door. He could see it through the windows in his living room, the lights on the CN Tower barely visible through the thick haze of snow. He stomped out his boots on the entryway rug and shook out his curls, splattering the walls, the heat of the hall having already melted the flurries into droplets clinging desperately to his hair.

As he crept further into the living room, he inhaled deep, the spicy, warm scent of winter candles burning filling his nose. He smiled wide. You were home. His steps quickened. He noticed a faint glow and could hear the low hum of your favorite Christmas album floating from the stereo. Even though he knew you like the back of his hand, nothing could have prepared him for the sight that met him as he turned the corner.

Sitting at the base of the Christmas tree he’d just picked out yesterday, you sat wrapped up in dozens of tangled, multi-colored lights. They were everywhere. Wrapped around your hips, hanging around your neck like a necklace and framing your torso. Your torso that was clothed in a onesie. With hearts on it. You were concentrating hard, checking every light in a dark strand, trying to find the faulty bulb. You hung your head and groaned in frustration, causing your purple sparkly Santa hat to slip off and fall in your lap. It was such a pitiful, dejected look that he couldn’t help but snort at the sight, swallowing a burst of laughter behind his closed fist.

Your head shot up and swiveled around, eyes wide with surprise. He lost control, a wave of giggles bubbling in his chest and exploding through his open mouth. You just stared at him, still tangled in lights. You hadn’t expected him home until much later. He’d been spending long hours at the studio, putting the last touches on a Christmas EP due to release next week. He took a few cleansing breaths and cleared his throat, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“I...I’m trying to find the bad bulb...what are you doing?!” You shot up off the floor and scurried across the hardwoods to him, trailing lights behind you. Colliding with his chest, Shawn wrapped his arms around you and squeezed tight, missing you just has much as you missed him. He pressed his still chilled and rosy cheek to the top of your head, wrapping himself in your scent. Humming his content, he pulled away and took your chin between his fingers, pulling your eyes up to meet his, “I came home early to be with you. The EP is done so I basically ran here. I didn’t want to miss it.”

Sniffing loudly, the frustration of the day settled in, even though it was supposed to be stress-free. A tear welled in the corner of your eye, “I know we said we would decorate together later tonight, but I just wanted to make time for other things.”

You bit your lip, knowing exactly the effect it would have on him. The corner of his mouth quirked up. Even though it was set to a whine, your inflection wasn’t lost on him.

“Other things, eh?”

He cupped your face with his large rough hands, fingers spreading, searching out your pulse point, wanting to feel the effect his presence had on you. Slowly, he brought his lips to your forehead and placed a chaste kiss there.

“Like this?”

You murmured your approval, your skin tingling even after his lips left your skin. He ran his nose along the side of your face, keeping contact but not enough to give you an idea of where he was going next. He tilted your head back and placed another kiss at the base of your throat, wetter this time, pulling a little gasp from you when he started to suck.

“God, I love you,” he whispered against your skin, so softly you weren’t sure he meant to say it out loud. His hands slid down your neck, headed farther south, but they got stuck in the strand of lights still hanging onto your shoulders. He tried to play it cool, but the strand wouldn’t cooperate. Disconnecting his mouth from your neck, he fiddled with the twisted cord, unraveling his fingers from its clutches.

An errant curl fell in his face with the force of his frustration. You pushed it back, running your fingers through his curls, and in the same motion wrapped your other arm about his shoulders, bringing the tail end of the light strand around him. His face lit up with red and green and blue twinkle lights.

“How are you gonna get out of this one, Mendes?” You stood up on your tiptoes and startled him with a kiss, quick but forceful, “I’ve got you now.” His face split into the most beautiful smile, you’d ever seen, one that made his eyes glitter.

“Oh, I know how.”

He quickly scooped you up in his arms, causing you to squeal loudly, echoing down the hallway toward his bedroom. Deftly removing the uncooperative strand of lights from your body and his, he stepped over them in one stride. You clung to his shoulders, surveying the state of disarray around the minimally decorated tree.

“Shawn, what about the decorations?”

“I think we can make time for them after those other things you were so excited about earlier.” He leaned his head against yours and carried you toward his room, unable to keep his mouth from your skin for more than a second. You moaned at his implication, excited that this night, your night, had finally come, knowing instinctively that he’d been planning every moment of this day for weeks.

He didn’t tell you that he’d been somewhere other than the studio that afternoon, didn’t tell you that there was a different gift in his pocket for you. Something permanent. A tangible promise that would shine as bright as the sun reflected off the snow. But that was for later. First, he was going to love you until you screamed his name.

When he finally made it to the bed and set you down, he took your face in his hands again, pulling your long hair over your shoulders. He brought his lips to your ear, tickling the skin with his soft breath.

“Happy birthday, honey.”

I LOVE YOU! 😘

[nataliescatorccio]

I see the similarities with barchie, however I don't think veronica is anything like Serena. They both have heart sure, but Veronica has so much fire and shes a total BA. I didn't get that vibe with Serena. I see so many Serena/Betty vibes. imo Barchie and Serenate are more similar. Had the whole "first love" thing ish. I don't think nair was anything like archieronnie either but arichieronnie have real deep conversations. didn't see that with serenate.

okay but… serena was a wild child with a bad girl reputation who came back to town looking to redeem herself and vowed to be better to everyone around her. this included her pushing aside her feelings and things that had happened with the boy she found a connection with (nate) just to make her best friend (blair) happy because she had the idea that they were each others first loves since they were dating since kindergarten, even though nate thought this was a forced path between them and never felt the same way for blair as he did for serena. blair was initially super jealous of this because she was under an insane amount of pressure from her mother to be ‘perfect’ and pushed serena away because she almost effortlessly sparkled and drew people’s attention to her. i mean… this is very much veronica/archie/betty in the first few eps of riverdale…

serena also had a hell of a lot of daddy issues throughout the seasons and spent a fair bit of time acting out against her family because of this (cough, veronica, cough). this culminated in her throwing herself into work and trying to make a name for herself there because she felt like she needed to separate herself from her family and their legacy to forge a name for herself - very much what ronnie is now doing in riverdale! to add to this serena struggled a lot with committing to dan because she struggled to believe someone so good could love her without being ruined which is very 2x08 veronica lodge. plus if you crossed serena she would take it to your face without any sneaking around and plotting, and she could be a cold-hearted motherfucking badass like remember when she took blair’s crown back just because she could? that’s just reminds me very much of ‘sorry cheryl bombshell, you wanted fire? my specialty is ice.’

i do think serenate had a deeper connection than was often acknowledged, like they were each other’s beacon in the night when everything was bad around them, and in dark moments they turned to each other. that’s very varchie. but yes, maybe there weren’t as many deep conversations because serenate were constantly dismissed as just sex and a physical connection, and varchie actually are too, so even how they’re viewed by the fandom is a massive parallel. 

of course they are different characters, i’m not saying they’re alike in every aspect. i’m just saying that when you stop and think about it there are actually a lot of parallels between veronica and serena and varchie and serenate, which i often feel is dismissed because serena is boiled down to the ‘blonde nice girl’ and her hair colour shouldn’t really make her parallel with betty.

[jungblue]

What are your thoughts on jughead x betty and veronica x archie and who do you think is the masked killer and give opinions on the characters because they are so annoying oh my goD

lolol okay well i just want to preface this with saying that i binged all of riverdale last week so my opinions are very fresh and i haven’t really had time to let them settle, but as for my opinion on everyone regardless of that, it goes something like this:

okay so with archie, i think i’m just a basic bitch bc i love him lmao. idk i think i just have a thing for muscular red-heads, see ian from shameless & now archie. but he’s just a very cute boy next door type of thing. he’s nice to everyone and has good intentions. he has kissed almost every girl in riverdale tho… except for betty. but this is the cw, they will kiss before the show is over - without a doubt

jughead is cool. i’m always here for the emo, in his feelings, quiet boy. although he does get a bit too pissy sometimes, but really all of the characters do, which has to do with the sub-par writing which i’ll get to at the end

betty, okay so i totally thought that i was going to hate betty when i watched the first episode. but idk like what happened with the character development in season 1 but she definitely flipped on me, and i really do like her character a lot. she does get too involved in people’s business sometimes without them even asking her. i get that she has good intentions but still 

with veronica i definitely thought that i was going to get serena van der woodsen syndrome from her. if you guys don’t know gossip girl is one of my favorite shows, and i just could never stand serena. i just hated the dynamic of her getting everything she wanted without trying while blair just got shafted. i mean i’d be a bitch too if that happened all the time lmao. so i definitely thought we were going to get something like that when it came to the veronica / betty friendship, especially with how early that whole love triangle thing happened with archie. but i’m very happy with how she turned out

cheryl… idk what to say about cheryl lol

as for the pairings. well i’m actually completely okay with them except i need archie to finish making his riverdale rounds and get with betty at least once lmao. but i do like jughead and betty so them being endgame is still fine for me. but i did just finish watching the ep that came out yesterday, and idk what it is but veronica & archie just seem… strange? like the chemistry feels a bit off? idk if that’s just me, but yeah

overall though i get why you say the characters are annoying bc the writing for the show isn’t that great or even good i’d say. the characters do things that make you go wtf you’re being so not yourself and this is clearly just for plot convenience. plus just the way they have those kids speak is so eye roll worthy. too many metaphors, and let me just say when archie told betty he couldn’t be with her in the first few eps bc she was too good for him in that dramatic ass post-dance scene i nearly quit right there lol. i really like the show, but it would be much better if they got new writers

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[bronx-bomber87]

Hello lovely fandom and happy Wednesday. We are cruising along with 6x09. Can't believe we're already on the second to last ep. Not a ton of Chenford or Tim in this one but what we do get is GOOOD. It's an all around good episode though. Let us begin.

6x09 The Squeeze

Recap of 6x06-6x08 got me all in my feels before this one even starts. Poor Tim killing me right off that bat. Always be floored by Eric and his ability to convey so much with a look. How it just makes me wanna hug his hurt away. No wonder Lucy always pulls him in for hugs. How could she not? I’m sure he hasn’t even begun to process how he feels. It’s a lot what just happened to him. It all unfolded in the blink of an eye.

Someone who he used to work closely with killing himself in front of him. Doing so because he’s a dirty cop. Not only that but taking all his secrets with him. Only thing Tim got out of it was Dr. London being dirty too. Grey shows up to the scene and startles Tim out of his thoughts. He debriefs Wade letting him know Mad Dog confessed to being dirty. That he believes Blair to be apart of it as well. Now we all know he didn’t mention her by name.

BUT it was pretty damn implied. With the awkward interactions in the hospital and the rooftop scene. Wade asks if he used her name specifically? Tim tells him no….But it was clear she was who M.D. was speaking of. Grey reminding him to be careful of accusing without any evidence. As amazing as his cop gut is that’s not evidence unfortunately. Loving the hat on Wade btw. Very fitting.

It’s not too long before the accusatory Detective Pearson shows up. Not loving him from the jump. Couldn't stand him for couple reasons. One because douche bag just comes off him in waves. Two the way he comes at Tim makes me wanna knock him on his ass. This guy coming in way too hot for my liking. Far too eager to pin this on Tim.

Makes my protective Sicilian side emerge and she’s not happy. I do love Grey being quick to Tim’s defense. No one better to have his back in this moment. Lucy would be great of course. But Wade is the superior in this moment so his 'back off ' holds more water. Gotta love this man. Always protects his people.

Wade can tell Pearson wants to have a slam dunk case against Tim. It’ll further his career to get such a high-ranking officer tangled in a dirty mess. It's why Grey tells him as such. Ugh. What a schmuck. Kudos to the actor though. I instantly dislike him so well done sir LOL The way Tim watches the body get wheeled away breaks my heart. Damnit Eric you’re too good at your job. Expressing so much in that look I just want to hug him. But that’s Lucy’s job later…

We join Celina officially moving in. This will be an interesting dynamic for s7. Especially after they get back together. I’ll be intrigued how that is all handled... But I’m getting way too ahead of myself. It's hard not to when we don’t know anything. It’s easy to daydream and speculate about the unknown. Anyways John is there and sadly not as a friend but to check in on Celina. She says he’s just making sure she’s not late for her shift.

Nolan commenting would reflect poorly on him and his performance review is coming up. Not selfish at all John….His review should be ‘Needs work.’ But we all know how I feel about him as a teacher. He asks Lucy how she is? I don’t think he expects the epic rant he receives. I mean she has healed some but not nearly enough. Her words sounding like she’s trying to convince herself. Makes me sad. Doing her best to flip all this upheaval into a good thing.

Our girl feels really lost in her life right now. All the turmoil that I don’t know she’s really dealt with. I think part of her having Celina move in is she doesn’t have to deal with it as much. To not have to be alone and sit in her feelings. Because I am the the same way. If left alone too long with my thoughts they eat at me. This scene just being more proof she hasn’t dealt with much of it at all IMO. I know the prevailing theory of the season for Lucy was she was alone. Isolated. I mentioned this in my mini too.

I think a lot of the isolating is self inflicted. Her and Tim are very alike in how they handle emotional distress. At an arms length and solo. Other than Jackson, Tim is the only one she’s really allowed close to her. Tamara yes but that's always been more maternal and not like what she has with Tim. And even him she doesn’t tell everything to and vice versa. It’s very in character for her to do this. I know people thinks because she’s bubbly, optimistic and outgoing this isn’t the case. But it is. Just like how people who are depressed don’t come off that way. When there a signs of it despite their ‘happy or sunny’ demeanor.

She was isolating herself before the breakup even occurred. Rewatching this season she was doing so from the very jump of s6. Their fight in 6x01 being proof of that isolation. She felt herself overloading and shoved him away with her accusation. That was just the start. 6x04 and her rash decisions with Jeff Budny is a huge one as well. She didn’t include the one person she should’ve in that ep. It's how we ended up in that hospital room with her. I’ve said this many times before. But her and Tim are quite alike in how they handle their emotions.

Tim’s is showcased more especially this season. It's easier to detect. If you're really looking you can see her's. Lucy’s were screaming through out this entire season as well. She is a control freak just like Tim in the way she shuts people out. Even her person couldn’t get in and vice versa. They have the same fatal flaw. It’s why their lack of communication became their downfall. Our girl has as much growing to do as Tim does. I’m hoping all this is a setup for s7 for her. To me her explosion here is an example of her not dealing fully with what happened still. Shall see how s7 is handled for her. I'm hopeful.

Their convo is interrupted by Angela calling Lucy. First off I love her looking out for Lucy. Just like she does with Tim. There was a great parallel set for this and 2x12. Angela providing comfort to them both when the other is in distress. Our on-screen cheerleader for them both and I love it sfm. Even knowing what a weird place they’re in, she knew Lucy would wanna know from her than anyone else. We love you Angela Lopez. You’re a real one.

She also knows Lucy well to tell her right off the bat he’s ok. You know her heart stopped when she began that sentence. We watch Lucy instantly go into wifey mode. Both in her body language and tone of voice as Angela explains. How she turns her back to the others when it’s about her person. Needing a moment to herself as she absorbs this information.

Melissa crushing it in this scene with everything she does. From closing her eyes taking in the severity of this situation. To the concerned wifey tone she switched to quickly. We all know she has a million and one thoughts rushing through her brain right now. Mainly was he ok? Does he need her? The worry for him settling into her soul and growing rapidly by time the call ends. Once Angela hangs up she finally turns around and updates them. Concern flooding her tone.

The wifey vibes continue when John gets a call shortly after. Tim has called him to be his union rep. (Only reason he would ever call Nolan in a personal matter...) We watch as anxiety all but pours out of Lucy. Worried wifey mode has activated and it’s not going away. Despite everything they’ve been through. Everything he’s done. Her number one instinct is worry and concern for him. It's deeply rooted. It's who she is.

She loves him so much still. That is written all over this scene and her reaction. That instinct to be there for him coursing through her like a powerful current. I love her stopping Nolan before he goes. The worry seeping out of her tone. Asking how he sounded? Nolan just replying ‘Tight.’ Which is apropos for Tim in situations such as this tbh. The reason she asked this was that she could gather everything she needed to know about his state of mind from that information alone.

When she hears Nolan’s reply her worry increases tenfold. Melissa is killing me in the best way in this scene. Props to her and Eric once again for this season. I can't praise them enough honestly. It hurt so much but hot damn if they weren’t giving their A game and more every single episode. Holy hell. Not that they don’t always. Just with such limited episodes they did really good with the material. Writing was superb for them. They rose to the occasion and then some.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan it’s making me anxious. He is wound so damn tight right now. Not that I blame him but we can feel the anxiety just seeping out of him. The tapping of his feet, hands, and whole body is tense before Nolan arrives. He pops right up the minute John enters the room. He doesn’t look at all prepared for what Tim is about to thrown down at him.

Nolan tries to ask him questions but Tim doesn’t have time for it. Immediately let's him know what’s going on. That they’re going to want to hang this on someone. Now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. All that is left is Tim. He’s STRESSED they’re going to hang this around his neck. That he needs Nolan to take over the investigation. I said this in my mini and I'll say it now.

My first thought was I don’t trust Nolan with this….That I wouldn’t have chosen him to spearhead this whole thing. But Tim doesn’t have a ton of options atm. So he’s gotta go with what he’s got. And that happens to be John Nolan right now. He asks Tim who to investigate? Tim tells him to look into Blair London the rookie police department shrink.

That he’s been seeing her and so has Aaron. That he thinks she had leverage on M.D. and that’s why he jumped. I wanna pause here and say how proud I am of Tim in this moment. Look at him reaching out for help this time. Not trying to quarterback this alone. Handling this completely differently than how he handled Ray. Not isolating himself and trying to figure this out solo. He’s going through the proper channels this time. Not wanting to do a OP and segregate himself from everyone.

To say it sucks Dr. London is dirty is an understatement. Because my greatest fear would be what she does in this episode. BUT I am forever grateful to her in the same vein. Because despite her being dirty she truly helped Tim in short time he had her. Look at the growth in this moment right now. I’ve said this many times already but I truly hope we continue his therapy journey. The results are astounding and I need more of this growth. It’s just like Chenford ship crack to me. Tim growth is my other drug of choice haha Give it to me writers LOL

We see Pearson is under Dr. London thumb. (Monica’s really) It leads up to this next scene that makes my blood boil. I hated watching this scene the first time and I didn’t love it any better second time around. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch unfold. How Pearson comes after Tim like a dog with a bone. The way he uses Dr. London to solidly his reasoning makes me all kinds of angry. I'm seeing red.

I HATE them using his sessions and twisting them for their own gain. It was like I said earlier this was my biggest fear of her being dirty. This right here. Gotta commend Danielle Campbell though. She does a really good job in this scene. Even though this was her idea you can see the conflict raging in her. Because she is the one who convinced Tim to go to therapy. For pure reasons actually. To help him out. Which she did. We know that’s why she’s under Monica thumb.

She used her need to help people against her. That she is only doing this because she is being coerced. Doesn’t excuse a damn thing, but explains her hesitation and almost tortured look in this scene. Especially when Pearson comes at Grey. Accusing him of favoritism. Saying he cares more about that than this city. You can see the restraint on Wade's face not to knock this punk out. How very dare you come at him and Tim like this. Makes me wanna rage so much.

This scene right here is why love Angela Lopez so much. That fiery passion she has for those she loves. How she is unwaveringly loyal to those she holds dear. Tim being that person in this moment. Not gonna lie that’s why I love this moment so much. Calling her husband. Love her of her life to chew him out to defend her brother. Her first instinct just like Lucy is to protect him.

To make sure if he’s charging Tim that she better know first. Hot damn Angela. Tell us how you really feel. haha This man is so lucky to have this fire ball in his corner phew lord. Telling Wes she stands by Tim a thousand percent. That he’s family. Ugh my heart. Gonna make me cry. I love their friendship so much. Give me more of them in s7. Their dynamic is fantastic and I need far more of it in my life.

We arrive at the best part of the episode. After nearly fifteen minutes filled with tension…We need this hug as much as these two do. My god. I adore her being so attuned to him. Lucy sees him and knows she needs to go to him. She can see how tense he looks. The clench in his jaw very evident. Her look damn near mirroring the worried look she had in 5x19. That same longing look to reach out to him surging through her. Worried Lucy is a fav of mine and we got to have that a lot in this episode.

This time she doesn't stop herself and we all love her for it. She worries about him, regardless of the state of their relationship. It’s what drives her to go after him before his elevator closes. That magnetic pull she can’t explain nor describe. All Lucy knows is she needs to be near him and comfort him. That even from afar she can tell he needs her. As I said earlier Lucy is so attuned to Tim and what he needs. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.

To say Tim is shocked when she keeps the elevator from closing is an understatement. Not only that but stopping it so they aren’t interrupted. Wanting to ensure they have a moment alone. Even when she says to be clear she’s still mad. That this doesn’t change anything. He’s still clueless as to what is going on here. You can see it all over his face above. He has zero idea why she is in here right now.

Because in his mind there is no way she’s thinking about him. Let alone wanting to be there for him in this moment. Which breaks my heart. The last thing he ever expected was for her to care for him. Or about him in any way shape or form. Also the 4x09 vibes coming off this hug had me losing my friggin mind. This hug is everything. It showcases their bond, the intimacy that still exists between them, the vulnerability has me reeling and how they are each other’s safe place still. *happy sigh*

The way she pulls him in reminiscent of the 4x09 hug. Tim standing there not expecting this moment of comfort and getting it. It’s the way she draws him into to hide in her arms. Just like she did in ‘Breakdown.’ I’m fine….Only difference in this hug from that one is the way he just melts into her arms. The face smoosh into her shoulder. Once again mirroring that infamous hug. We watch all that anxiety and stress just drain out of him. The tension he was carrying into the elevator leaving his body once he's in his happy place. Closing his eyes and surrendering to the comfort she brings him.

He immediately wraps his entire body around her. Melding into her. Easily falling into this hug and her arms. Like two puzzle pieces that are meant to be together. Fitting back together so effortlessly after time apart. Encasing her back in his hands and snuggling in for good measure. Clinging to her like she is his emotional life raft. Because. Well she is. Holding her as close as he physically can. Cherishing this moment. Because I’m sure he never thought he would experience this again. Holding her in his arms like this. Feel her comfort and love.

These two make me insane in the best way. Also let me once again point out Tim's growth. He didn’t even try to fight her like he’s done in the past. He sees this for the gift that it is and absorbs this moment. Savoring it really. The peace you can see on his face floors me. Eric at it again. You can tell this is first time in long time he’s felt whole. This hug is beautiful on some many levels. You can feel the raw emotion coming out of them both.

The concern that’s been building up in Lucy since this morning coming out in waves. She is tucked in TIGHT to him. Clinging to him as much as he is clinging to her. I'm not ok. You can hear the immense worry in her voice as she asks him if he’s ok? Despite everything she felt the draw to be there for him. The way she looks like she can finally breathe as she asks him that question is EVERYTHING.

We get some good hands hands hands in this hug. I can’t stop staring at her thumbs in that gif either. The soothing way she is running her thumbs up and down on his back and arm. Methodical in her soothing of him. Gah I cannot you guys. Her remarkable empathy shines through in this moment. This was a balm my soul needed so much. That all of us needed. We all know how much our boy longed for this.

Can't get over her face pressed so tightly into his neck. Doing this, as she asks him what she’s been dying to since she received that phone call. Like she couldn’t breathe until she knew the answer to this question. Look at the concern on her face when she does. I’m reeling and sobbing. Lucy looks on the verge of tears herself. Their hearts are just starting to mend in this glorious hug. You can feel it. Ours too.

No one does hugs like our ship does. They’re always top tier goodness. Holy hell. They’re just breathing each other in. Calming one another down. The anxiety that was raging in both of them cooling down to a simmer in this embrace. He has melted into her like butter at this point. Reveling in the comfort and empathy she's providing him. The way he says ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 and their phone call in the alley. How he wasn’t ok till he heard her voice.

Song remains the same in this moment. He wasn’t ok until now. Until she had her arms wrapped around him for this hug. Didn’t know he was holding his breath till she released it for him. It’s how he sways with her and sinks even further into her arms. Smooshing his face even farther into her shoulder. It’s so sincere his reply back that I am just a puddle of emotion. He’s so vulnerable in this moment with her.

Letting her know he wasn't ok until she was there. Imma scream at how much I love this growth in him. If there was any more doubt in Lucy’s mind of his feelings for her, this hug and his reaction to it should clear that right up. That is a man who is still so in love with her. Letting her know he wasn’t alright until she came and found him. I’m not crying you are…. Find you a person who knows what you need when you need it. Even when you’re not in the best place. That’s Lucy Chen for this man. Reigniting him falling in love with her all over again in this moment.

Lucy picking up on this growth reflects in her reaction back. Gah it’s the way she tightens her arms around him after she hears this. Closes her eyes and tries to bring him even closer. Trying to wrap him up in her arms even tighter. Absorb any stress he is carrying right now. The sheer relief written all her face. The way she shuts her eyes knowing he’s ok because she is there. *sobs*

Just melting into this man as she holds him as close as she can. Clinging to him as much as he is to her. I’m not ok in the best way. I remember thinking this hug would feed my soul into the hiatus. Just gonna scream into a pillow how much I love this moment. Their chemistry is insane and with a hug? Even more so my god. We are blessed to have a ship where our hugs are this amazing.

I love this faraway shot of their hug. They are in-sync as they part. How do they do that? We can see how deeply entangled they are. Nary an inch between them. You can see how they were just clinging onto each other for dear life. Look at Tim’s arms/hands. How gentle and intimate his are placed.

Having her as close as he can. It’s the hand gently wrapped around her lower back that has me losing it. It’s just so intimate I can’t get over it. Lucy is retuning the favor in kind. She too is just as intertwined as he is in this moment. Arms clinging to him and her face buried in his neck. Their chemistry on massive display here.

You’d think the hug alone would be enough to make me squee to death. Lucy follows it up with fixing his collar. I’m dead. The most wifey move of all moves. Reminded me of the lint picking from 5x12. Such an intimate coupley thing to do. I’m losing my damn mind over it. Wife energy coming off her in waves. Just seemed so automatic and natural when they part.

Also she touches her arm before reopening the door. She can’t keep her hands off him and I’m here for it. Tim looks like he’s going to cry in that elevator. I also love Tim putting his hands in his pockets right after. Because if he doesn’t he’ll never let her go. They’ll never get off this elevator. He could've stayed in that hug all day.

Basked in the comfort she had to give him. So he puts his hands immediately in his pockets after they part. Ugh my heart. They miss each other so much and this hug is screaming that. Also screaming how they didn’t miss a beat. How natural and wonderful it was. *happy sigh* This hug giving me true hope for the first time.

They re-open elevator to find Angela and Harper waiting for them. They look like they’ve been caught. Like they didn’t just have this deeply emotional embrace. The looks they share before Lucy leaves are LOADED. The expression on Angela’s face... She knows they interrupted something. I adore her saying she can get him extradited if he needs it. Love this woman so much. We know just like Lucy she is willing to do anything for this man.

Makes my heart so happy. All these women in his life want is to support and protect him. You can tell Angela wants to be tagged in so badly. Tim telling her won’t be necessary. He didn’t do anything wrong. That she had his back last time. He has different forces at play this time. Adore her saying 'Different isn’t me.’ Not it’s not ha Sadly last of Tim for this ep. *pouts*

Another telling scene for Lucy. Really really need s7 to clear these things up for her. Because despite being wonderfully empathetic human to Tim. She is still lost in life and not sure who she is. I NEED UC and some other things clarified for her next season. I really do. Just because she’s amazing at UC (and she is) doesn’t mean it’s her path. I do love this scene because it’s just Lucy being Lucy.

Having EIGHT covers ready to go. Our little nerd in action here. I adore it so much. It’s the most Lucy Chen thing she could do. Telling them it takes twelve off duty hours to grow. I love her so much. It’s not a mystery why Tim is so damn gone for her. Their faces as she explains cracks me up. Tim wouldn’t be shocked in the least. Hell I’m sure he was there while she was growing some of them.

The detective line is just another stab at our hearts though. Hoping for clarification and goodness for her career in s7. Manifesting it. As much as I need their reconciliation.(and I need it bad) I need her path resolved just as much tbh. For her to find her purpose and grow. Because once her and Tim do this. That reconciliation is gonna be even sweeter because of it.

I will say I was impressed with Nolan. Enjoy this it won’t last ha He handled investigating Blair really well. Rattling the cages of the potential dirty cops she was seeing just by showing up to her office. I forgot seasons 1-2 Nolan was a good cop. He just got really annoying after s3. LOL Also roping Smitty in was hilarious. He was already there for the food so might as well use him.

It’s the first time in what feels like a long time I enjoyed John. He enlists Nell too to help him with data from dispatch. Maybe it’s Bailey that makes him extra irritating to me. Lmao Sorry Jenna....lol Anyways quite the miracle Nolan pulled off in this ep getting me to like him. Not only that but commend him on the job he’s doing. Helping out Tim in a major way and I can’t deny that.

Nolan’s plan works out like gang busters. He went to her office to rattle a dirty cop into revealing himself. Pearson does it perfectly. Losing his mind about finding out they were in Mad Dog's apt. Like I said earlier I commend John on his work in this. Had Tim’s back and then some with his investigation. If they wrote him like this more wouldn’t dog on him so much lol

The other part that is so great is Grey. He is a papa bear ready to devour anyone messing with his work kids. This part was so cathartic to watch after earlier. Watching him dismantle Pearson like the schmuck he is. Was sick of him stomping around the station. Acting like he can just be top dog when he's really on a leash.

Rubbed me the wrong way being disrespectful to Tim and threatening Wade. Watching him attack Nolan/Celina is Grey's final straw. Puts that turd in his place. We watch him visibly shrink as Grey tears him a new asshole LOL All but telling him to stay in his own lane. Get em’ Wade! Nolan putting together the connection of Pearson and Blair due to this. Was fun to watch them piece this together.

Scenes like this give me agita like no other. My heart was beating in my chest for her. Lucy did a really good job despite the toy. Unfortunately it’s one of those loud musical ones. That not only gives away her position. But possibly her cover in the process. He find it’s on the floor. Looking menacing af. This man gives me the creeps on so many levels. I hated this mission for her on so many levels.

Unfortunately they’ll need her going back into the house. Now that Monica is in play it’s crucial she is there. Especially with Batista investigating who tried to kill her. Lucy is worried they’re going to blow her cover faster with her involved…But it’s a risk they have to take. If Tim knew about this he would be feral. Oh Feral Tim how I miss you. I need more 2x11 feral Tim in my life. That's a wishlist for s7 I suppose.

The ep ends with Nolan making a deal I’m not sure he can make lol But he was good in this episode so I’ll give him a pass. You can see how panicked she is. I am impressed John got her on this bench I will say. Getting her to almost spill her guts to him. Saying she didn’t think anyone would get hurt. That's what they all say....

I will say I missed Tim a lot in this ep after he was gone. That's my man. But it was a good episode. Reminded me of what a good ensemble cast we have as a whole. That's all she wrote for this one.

As always thank you to everyone for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging these means more than you’ll ever know. Shall see you all in the finale with 6x10 :)

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

We get more insight in how Dr. London is being leveraged. Of course it’s a Monica connection because she is the absolute worst….

It’s great to see Pearson get nailed to the wall at the end of the ep. Prick.

[lonnyrocketreviews-blog]

Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 10 Power Rankings - Ep. 5, The Bossy Rossy Show

I haven’t said this yet, so I guess I will now. I don’t base my ranks only off of how well they do in the challenges. I factor it in, but mainly it comes down to how they do on the show at large, in and out of the challenges and runway. I think screentime, backstory, and backstage buffoonery factor just as much into the final vote as challenge wins do, especially if the fans get a say.

10. Monet X Change I was wondering when this would happen. The queen I would consider the weakest wasn’t the one that went home. This happens often on the show. Sometimes the queen who sashays isn’t the one who did the worst. Trinity and Dela in season 6, Trixie and Katya in 7, etc, though those are all more egregious examples, Monet is easily the weakest in the competition right now including Mayhem. In this episode, I think she was the only one who’s performance AND outfit were bad. Her lipsync gimmicks weren’t quite as impressive as last week, either. It was all sloppy. Could’ve been a double elim for all I care. Whatever. Monet probably is a great and hilarious queen (Cracker’s “best queen in NYC”). She’s just not showing it on the show. If she lands in the bottom again, she’s toast.

9. Mayhem Miller I’m kinda used to this phenomenon. Sometimes queens who shouldn’t be in the bottom 2 end up in the bottom 2 and then leave. Mayhem by no means did great this week, but I think the Vixen and Asia did worse. I would’ve put Asia and Monet in the bottom 2, but it’s not my show. I’m sad to see Mayhem go cuz I was super excited to see her on the show, but alas, this was bound to happen sooner or later. RIP. -Mayhem is my first major candidate for Miss Congeniality. 

8. Kameron Michaels I feel like the second I start to like Kameron, she’s gonna leave, so I won’t! She didn’t do too bad in the challenge, and her outfit was pretty good. They have been pretty good for the most part, but Kameron still gets no screen time in the work room and hardly any in Untucked and absolutely NONE in confessionals. Who the fuck is she? Things we know about Kameron Michaels:  1. ‘hot’ out of drag, 2. can get rid of spiders if needed, 3. likes Shania Twain. That’s it. I GUESS there’s an outside chance that she snipes her way to one of the final episodes but I will be VERY surprised and VERY bitter if she does; it’s a reality show and they seem to think being sexy outta drag is worth keeping someone in a drag competition.

7. Blair St. Clair I really really like Blair, but she’s starting to remind me of Farrah Moan. Not that she’s whiny, but because she’s just like a lovely fruit that hasn’t quite ripened. She’s a talented queen, for sure, but is still getting eclipsed by bigger, louder, crazier and more mature queens. Unless she’s hiding something fantastic up her sleeve, she won’t survive her first lipsync.

6. The Vixen I’m glad that the Vixen has cooled her jets some. Showing a more docile side will help her a lot if she wants a shot at the crown, but the damage she’s already inflicted might be fatal. For all I know there could be another fight or two in the future. Her enemies Aquaria and Eureka are sailing ahead, and that might trigger some hostilities. I see two futures for the bomb that is the Vixen (and neither are her winning): either she explodes on someone and self destructs and that stress sends her home OR she totally fizzles out of drama and relevance and it sends her home. Either way, she has until the rest of the fodder queens are gone before she herself gets gone. 5. Asia O’Hara I’m kinda worried that Asia’s high point/win might’ve been just a one-time thing. I mean, it pretty much just was her making funny faces. Two week in a row now she’s been kinda weak. I’m not sure if she’ll crush Snatch Game or not. Maybe she’ll pull a Kennedy and fuckin nail it. Maybe it’ll send her home. I hope not. I really like her. I want her to be top 4, but I think right now she’s drifting between the frontrunners and the middle-of-the-pack queens.

4. Aquaria Aquaria’s drag isn’t QUITE my cuppa tea, but she’s undeniably doing quite well. Her looks are strong. Her performances are usually solid. She BABBLES (like a baby) but she’s getting a story line. We know who she is. She’s been ...nice?... in Untucked here and there and everyone makes a big deal about it. They did the same with Violet. I wouldn’t totally hate seeing Aquaria in the top 3 tho. She’ll definitely look good for it, but I don’t think she’s gonna win.

3. Monique Heart #TeamMonique. Monique and Cracker are still tied for my favorite. I love it when I kinda roll my eyes at a queen during preseason but then they knock my socks off during the show. Sorry I doubted you, girl. I think she’s doing well so far. Please please please survive Snatch Game. Fuck what I said last week, I need her to be in the top 3. Let a strong showing for Monique be the justice that Jaidynn Dior Fierce never got.

2. Miz Cracker Woohoo! Always happy to see Breanna back in the top, but she still hasnt FUCKING won anything yet (Snaaatch Gaaaame?). I was expecting her to really crush this challenge and she ONLY did great. Sigh. She’s a fucking crazy dork and her sense of humor is so stupid and I love her but I think she’s getting a little in her head. I’m kinda nervous that she’s gonna get the Katya treatment (like they blame her elimination on her insecurity but in reality they kick her off over something arbitrary like a catsuit (Pearl shoulda gone home (but I’m not bitter))). 

1. Eureka I HAVE NOT LOOKED UP ANY SPOILERS ON REDDIT so I don’t know if I’m right, but I’m like 97% sure Eureka will be in the top 3. I think she’s gonna win. I guess I’m repeating myself at this point, but Eureka is getting all the screentime AND has a win under her belt now. It’s pretty clear. Eureka, Miz Cracker, and Monique Heart look like an incredible top 3. With Eureka winning, it leaves the other two open to All Stars. This is what I want to happen. Will it happen? Probably not, but whatever. I still watch this stupid show. Goo goo ga ga stick a pickle in my mouth and a cactus in my butt.  I laughed a lot during this episode. They really didn’t suck at improv, which is great cuz S10 doesn’t actually have a ton of ACTOR queens (Dusty and Blair, that’s kinda it?). Anydangway, I’m enjoying this season for the most part so far. There’s just enough drama to keep it from being boring, and the challenges are going pretty well. There hasn’t really been a jaw dropping moment yet, but the season’s hardly even halfway done. Still plenty of time to fear the dreaded Twist. I just hope there’s not a stupid lipsync tournament like in S9...

[strideofpride]

#also i love that it doesn't work that second time#she is not here for the shiny necklace anymore because she knows the baggage that comes with it#the only reason she takes it the second time is because she is pretending for dorota (and because she feels she doesn't have anybody)#< and the first time she takes it because nate broke up with her#again. blair goes with him when she feels she has nobody else who cares about her#because she thinks she is an awful person. so the only person who would love her is him#i loved what blair says in this ep. she wants to feel happy#and she wants to feel like the best version of herself. and she admits that she feels like the worst when she is with chuck#i can't believe the writers made her stay with him. im gonna eat glass. this is insane (via @blairwld)

the way that he keeps using shiny jewerly to make her feel better instead of actually be there for her or. you know. apologize for making her life miserable

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers. It's hard to believe we’re on 6x08 already. Thanks for hanging in there with me. 6x05-6x07 are not easy episodes emotionally. So appreciate you all reading these. 6x08 is an emotional ride all its own. This entire season is really. We get a beautiful moment at the end for our ship though. One that still makes me weepy. With the perfect song to go with it. So let's begin shall see?

6x08 Punch Card.

The ep name is punch card when it starts out with a punch to the heart. We see a reminder come up on Tim's phone. It’s about Lucy’s birthday *sad sigh* Not only a reminder but he has 'Birthday' in all caps. Wanted to make sure he didn’t forget. Also and this is just shippy conjecture... Was he did so he could do something special for her. That’s what that reminder represents to me. He quickly swipes it away and tries to swipe the feelings along with it. His sigh and tongue click has me emotional. It’s all through this episode we start to see the regret really begin to sink in for Tim .

I know people were upset he didn't seem as upset as Lucy in 6x07. Trust me that man is WRECKED. He showed signs last ep. But this episode marks the beginning of him truly showcasing all of that. Tim is starting to feel the immense loss he’s inflicted on himself. *phew* I wanna cry. Which has been a theme since 6x05. He is broken out of his emotional revere by the elevator opening. It’s Mad Dog and Blair. The tension is palpable in there but you’re not sure why. Only that something feels very off and wrong about the whole thing.

Tim is so caught up in his Lucy loss he doesn’t pick up on it. Had that reminder not come up he would’ve been sharper. His cop gut screaming out a bit more. But as of right now it's subdued with sadness. Kills me how he wants to rectify things with M.D. Breaks my heart really. He hurt more than just Lucy with his actions. Mad Dog is short with him and not in a place to receive these amends. Tim breaks my heart a little more when he watches him depart. Oh Timothy. He finally acknowledges Dr. London asking if she's getting off here? When she says she took the wrong elevator my red flag was going OFF.

Now comes the scene I know made everyone uncomfortable. I don't love it I'll be honest. But here’s my take on it. Last episode we talked about defense mechanisms a lot. What Tim and Lucy’s were. Why they use them. To me this scene right here is displaying Dr. London’s. I believe she uses flirting as her defense mechanism. They showed her flirting with Aaron at the bar in the recap for a reason. Side tangent about the recap. This will be a small detour to my point lol. They also showed the breakup again in the recap too. Hate that. I'll have PTSD from that scene for life. Like damn recap I don't need the reminder. Don't worry we haven't forgotten I promise you. It's seared in my memory for life thank you very much....

Anyways I think that scene at the bar with Aaron in the recap was to set up this scene. Very intentional of her manipulative flirting. Tim asks about Mad Dog which sets that in motion. So in order not to blow her cover she flirts with Tim. Under the guise of ‘Checking in on him.’ Turning it back around on him by asking how he felt seeing him? She’s doing this to shield herself and deflect further questions about what just happened. Tim is clearly upset and she takes advantage of it. It’s a mixture of the Lucy reminder and now seeing Mad Dog. The manifestation of two relationships he destroyed with his actions in 6x05-6x06.

So even though I don’t love this scene. I get the why and mechanics behind it if that makes sense. I know some people thought him replying back was flirty. I think he was just doing his own investigating. His gut kicking on in this moment. He’s clearly not comfortable with her trying to do therapy outside their sessions. Also his face when he exits the elevator tells me everything. It’s not of a man who flirted. It's one who’s is still deeply hurting. Also conflicted because his cop gut IS going off and he doesn’t know why…. He is feeling as off as we were about her.

We hop over to our girl in Grey’s office. Asking her how her new roommate is working out? That being Celina of course from the previous ep. Reason he’s asking is he needs her to ride with her today. Lucy is so adorable saying she’s not a T.O. though… This is where the scene gets real cute. Grey all but anoints her LOL Lucy’s face when he does is hilarious. Couldn't fit in but was very Lion King vibes up in here haha

Lucy continuing the adorableness asks if he can do that? Wade replying he is all powerful lmao I think this scene is great for a couple reasons. First off thank you Wade Grey for giving her a position of power and authority like this. If anyone has earned it it’s our girl. I also think this is really good for her self esteem. For him to trust her enough to give her a leadership opportunity is huge. Shouldn’t have taken this damn long honestly. But she has been very UC driven since S3.

Regardless I love this so much for her. To prove her leadership skills. To rebuild herself a bit post breakup. Lastly I think this moment is a wee bit of foreshadowing. With the time elapse, I’m sure is to come with the s7 premiere, she could be one by then. This is straight speculation. Since we don't know a damn thing bout s7. But I think it would be real good for her. She would be a superior teacher to new rookies. Far better than numb nuts Nolan…. Grey is MVP two eps in a row I will say.

Tim enters the chat immediately after. He’s so lost in trying to delete his reminder he doesn’t realize Lucy is there. That Lucy smile of his ever present. He literally can’t help it. Man is so damn gone for her. It oozes out of him whenever she is present. Ugh. My heart. Lucy almost returns it because she has for so many years prior. She stops herself midway and reminds her body she’s still mad at him. Tim tries to break the ice a little with his joke. Lucy doesn’t engage as much as he would like of course.

Still picking up the pieces of her broken heart my love. Also the awkwardness that still exists between them is ever present in this short scene. Couldn’t get away fast enough and Grey notices this of course. His reply of 'Wow.' saying it all. The way Tim watches her until she is out of sight *heart clutch* Just watching his entire heart walk out the station….Ain’t no thing…Doesn’t affect me at all. *sniffle* *phew* I’m fine.

This hurts no matter the time that has passed. Hate seeing them like this. I know with s7 in the works we are on the road to recovery. But until said recovery happens, these post breakup eps are gonna hurt like a SOB. There's no two ways about it. Even after they get back together these will still sting. Cause Eric and Melissa did an incredible job with these episodes. This short scene wrecking us shows us their skills. Elevating the material in a way only they can.

Grey notes how awkward that was. Tim telling him it’s better than it has been.... That’s not enough for Wade though. Honestly it shouldn’t be. That he need again to fix this ASAP. This will only continue to breed dysfunction. Which in turn will be a disaster for team cohesion. That he isn't going out that way as Watch Commander. Wade reminding him he NEEDS to work it out with Lucy.

Otherwise it’s going to force him to choose between them. Now you know I love my Tim. Love this man to death. Would fight anyone who knocks on him. But I friggin adore Grey choosing Lucy in this scenario. Tim caused this mess he either needs to clean it up. Or it’s time for him to go. Hurts my heart to write that but it's true. Even though he is senior officer, worked there longer, been under Wade longer it doesn’t matter. He will be the one shipped off. Taking her side is the right thing to do.

Makes me wanna cry the thought of him being sent away. I remember first time watched this it started a deep ache in my gut. One of massive anxiety. Of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since s2. Just looming overhead ready to take one of them. Almost happened in 5x12 too. Anyways does my heart good he sides with Lucy in this matter. This is Tim’s mess to fix and no one else’s.

Lucy meets up with Celina and asks if she’s ok with this? Ever the amazing empath our girl. Celina looks psyched as hell to have Lucy. How could she not be? Wealth of knowledge to give her in a kind but commanding way. Getting to see Lucy show off her leadership skills is making me giddy. On a solo character level was my fav part of the ep. (Clearly not counting the Chenford stuff)

Her leadership style is right there with mine. Where I am 90 percent Tim her being a T.O. Is all me. Her style is pretty damn identical to mine. Telling her she wants to ‘Invest in her success.’ Is me all damn day. Thats all I ever wanted for my team. For them to see I was investing in them and there to make them better. It’s cute how excited Celina is for this. Hell of an upgrade from the bumbling bone head she usually has.

The Aaron and Tim show begins and I’m here for it. I’ve always enjoyed their dynamic. Aaron pushing Tim a little more than most would. We know Lucy has softened him to the point where he doesn’t kill Aaron. ha Asking why he has to be the one to be in uniform and not Tim? Lmao Because you are the rookie dearest haha These two are goobers together and I love it sfm. You can tell he is dying to ask Tim if he is struggling right now. Because he went from QB to water-boy for Metro.

Like I said earlier it’s really starting to hit Tim the relationships he fractured. The regret is coming at him from all sides in this one. First Lucy and now this. Aaron can’t help it and asks anyway even though he shouldn’t. Tim gives him the company line of course. Pulling some S1 Tim out in this van. Telling him he does what he’s told without complaint. Ok babe yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting you….

He went from running this entire team. Making calls on the fly to this. Boring grunt work. Tim bounces back with his sassy comment about his deodorant. I’m cackling because Aaron’s reaction is so damn funny. He gets so distracted by this he doesn’t write anything down. Tim’s face when he asks why isn’t documenting this is so funny. The most Aaron thing he could do. Be derailed by Tim's comment and not pay attention. Oh I will miss you Aaron Thorsen.

I am enjoying Lucy’s teaching so much. Partly because it reflects how I teach. She corrects without crushing her confidence. She also does it afterwards as not to ding her confidence in the moment. Exact reflection of what I used to do for my work kids. Lucy is kind but confident in her correction. Doing it in the moment so it sticks, but waiting till after they’re done for her to properly receive it. Celina receives it well because even though it’s one she is told in a kind manner. I just love it sfm.

The other reason I love it is because Lucy is out here crushing it. Zero T.O. Training but picking it up like she’s been doing it for years. She is going off instinct and what she would’ve wanted as a rookie. I had zero training when I was told to train new hires as a manager. So I went based off my experience and what I would’ve loved to know when I was new. So her tactics are very similar to me and makes me happy to see it.

Already light years ahead of Nolan it’s insane. Tim would be so proud of her if he could see it. We all know how seriously he takes training new officers. The sacred duty that it is and needs to be treated as such. Lucy is doing all that and more. Feels like more foreshadowing for her to become one in s7. Would crack me up if she got one of the new ones and Tim got the other. They could compare and contrast their leaderships styles. See who does better. But I’m daydreaming with that ha

Tim’s phone goes off again. Reminding him once again Lucy’s birthday is tomorrow. Tim is hit with a double gut punch in this moment. First grunt work for Metro then Lucy loss as the second one. Aaron noting he must’ve set it quite a few times... Which is heart breaking to think of in this moment. It is sweet he set it up so many times so he wouldn’t forget it. I think pre-breakup Tim didn’t want to lose track of this important day.

Also my guess is he wanted to make a big deal of it too. Their days are unpredictable so makes sense he would set so many. That’s pure conjecture on my part. But watching him through out their relationship this lines up. Seeing how he doted on her and brought her thoughtful gifts. He was most definitely going to do that. Like I said earlier this ep is starting to reflect the cracks in his foundation.

His facade of pretending to be okay after their breakup is starting to fade. The fact that he says ‘Girl you broke up with.’ Not his ex is speaking volumes to me. It’s starting to dawn on him truly what he’s lost and done. Because you would say ex if it was something to move on from. The regret is starting to seep in and breaks my heart to watch it. But also it’s good to see him feeling it. Now that’s he’s regulated and going to therapy, his clarity on what he’s done is coming up for air. It’s weighing on him, and we can see that clearly in this scene.

This next part really gets me in the feels. Tim asks if he got her anything? Being vulnerable for the first time in their convo. Look at that puppy in the first couple gifs. Aaron tells him yes. A spa day at the Four Seasons. It’s the smile here that gets me. Even thinking about Lucy brings about that smile of his. The one that only comes up around her or about her. He knows exactly how much his girl is gonna love that. Enjoy it. Also thinking how much she deserves such a gift.

The smile has me reeling. He just loves her so much. He can’t help but do that in love smile when he thinks about her. *screams into a pillow* Then his smile ends with sadness. Eric be killing me for a 4th ep in a row. We watch the smile tail off with a tinge of sadness. Because he’s not going to see how happy that gift makes her. How she would’ve dragged him along with her most likely. It’s really hitting him he’s lost her. Lost access to that part of her life now.

The happiness to heartbreak in that smile is masterful on Eric’s part. Just look at him in that last gif. I was feeling all that from his smile. It’s subtle but impactful as hell. Eric and Melissa’s speciality at breaking our hearts. Especially this season. His reaction is screaming how much he still loves her. Carrying the burden of what he’s done is becoming more and more evident. Mourning the loss of what he hastily threw away. Hurts so good. Maybe they’ll be together by her next bday and he can make up for it. A girl can dream right?

The boys share a nice moment and I love it. Aaron pushes it with his final question though. You can see him drawing up the courage to ask Tim. Wanting to know what everyone wants to know. Why they split up? Tim’s reply cracking me up. He is as sharp and curt as can be. No more emotion left in his tone. ‘No’ LMAO Vulnerable Tim is gone now. Took it too far Aaron...

The balls on you sir to ask that my god. Lucy doesn’t even know why. You sure as hell aren’t going to get that answer…Honestly you’re lucky you got Tim as vulnerable as you did good sir. But gotta love him trying and failing super hard. Makes a bittersweet scene end on a funny note that made me chuckle.

This scene with Mad Dog hurts my heart. Tim is facing the repercussions of his actions so hard in this episode. From both barrels of Metro and Lucy. It’s good for him to feel and see what he’s done. That doesn’t mean it does hurt me to watch it. I’m still protective of him even though it’s what he needs to see and experience...

My worry was something like this happening. Working with Metro was going to reopen a wound that’s hasn't even begun to heal. We know what happens with M.D. later. So, a part of this is projection is because he knows he’s walking his guys into a trap somewhat. Worried Tim is going to find him out through his OP plan. That being said doesn’t make it easier to watch him dismantle Tim.

I will say it is yummy to see him in street clothes and jeans. That badge prominently on his hip. Mmmm gimme. Wouldn’t be me if I didn’t gawk at him a little would it? Also haven’t done it in a minute due to the non stop heartbreak since 6x05.

The OP goes sideways in the worst way. They’re ambushed and his guys end up in the hospital. Nash is in surgery due to the explosion. Tim comes to see Mad Dog and it feels all kinds of off. He’s expecting Tim to flog him for what he’s done. That his OP lead his men into danger. Almost as if he wants Tim to reprimand me for what he’s done. But he’s in the dark to what’s going on so Tim can’t possibly do as such.

Tim’s cop gut is kicking into high gear during this scene though. Between M.D. acting completely different post OP and his reaction to Blair appearing. Tim questioning how in the hell she even knew about this? She comes up with a pretty slick answer that pacifies Tim for now. But it’s seeing Mad Dogs reaction that has his red flag going up.

He can barely look at Blair in the eye. Tim noticing and bringing it up. M.D. plays it off as being tired. That he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings right now. Tells Tim they shot him full of painkillers. He’s gonna shut down for awhile. Tim understands and doesn’t linger. I remember knowing at this point she was dirty. But could also see the internal struggle going on inside her. Which intrigued me to why she was dirty in the first place? All things to come in later eps...

Now comes the best part of the entire episode. One that we all still think about. How could we not? Eric and Melissa were once again surprised how much we loved this scene. What’s not love? What's not lose our minds over? Return of Kojo, the song that is utter perfection, and the fact that Tim reached out through him to say Happy Birthday. Makes me teary just thinking about it. I'll never be over this scene. How it felt like a true start to healing our shipper hearts. Because they've been in ROUGH shape for awhile.

We all needed this moment. After such utter heartbreak and turmoil the last 3 episodes. This was like coming up for air for the first time to truly breathe. Melissa killing us right off the bat. Her face was all of us in this moment. The way she lights up when she sees Kojo. Their cute fur-baby just sitting in the hallway with a card in his mouth. I’m not crying you are... Also makes me giggle a little thinking how Tim had to run from the door after he knocked. To make sure only Kojo was there. It's the sweetest thing. *happy sigh*

Killing me softly with how she pets him. Asking how he is. Telling him she misses him. Just like Tim in the van her smile morphs. It goes from happiness to sadness. Because Kojo is an extension of Tim. Her saying she misses him is having a double meaning here. Despite all the hurt Tim caused her she misses him so much.

It’s reflected in how she is loving on Kojo. Her words have an extra meaning to them. Of course she misses her fur-baby. But she also misses her person. A piece of her heart is missing with him gone. This scene has me teary from beginning to end. We missed this good boy so much. Such a tearjerker of a moment when she reunites with him.

When Kojo takes off back to Tim it’s like watching a part of her heart go along with it. Knowing where he is running back to. The ache in her heart that is still there. She knows he’s in that hallway. It's bittersweet because even broken up she brings the best out in Tim. This wonderful gesture is due to how he’s grown because of her. If you weren't crying in this moment you're dead inside lol I'm sorry.

Tim wrecks me with how he’s looking toward that same hallway. He can only imagine what her reaction is. Hoping it's a good one. That what he's done here is having a positive effect on her. It is. What a way to bring this sweet boy back in. They really killed it with this scene. I love Tim keeping his distance. Respecting her space in this moment. But knowing he couldn’t let her b-day go without acknowledging it. This was the best way to do it.

Also the fact that this is happening in that hallway. One that represents so many seminal moments for them. I just wanna sob at the beautiful symbolism of this. You can see the regret building on Tim’s face once again. The distance he can feel between them. It's like he’s finally grasping what he’s done. The regrets he feels starting to truly mount in this moment.

Melissa’s reactions after Kojo leaves are absolutely killing me. The tears in her eyes as she picks up the card. Evoking so much emotion out of me just watching her. This is where the lyrics had me bawling. Because it so perfectly represents Lucy in this moment.

"When the sun won't shine and the words don't rhyme And there's mountains you can't move.

Something's on your mind And it's been some time since you felt like you were you.

When it all caves in, feeling paper thin And the pain might cut right through. "

This has been Lucy since the end of 6x06. Hell it was the fandom. The sun has not shined since that day for her. She hasn’t felt like herself in what feels like eons. Her pain feeling so very paper thin. The smallest thing cutting right though her. What happened between them rocked Lucy to her very core. She’s still sitting in the pain of it all. Him giving up on them so easily is haunting her. Probably wondering if he loved her as much as she loved him? Those intrusive thoughts running on an endless loop in her brain since it happened.

“When you feeling like you ain't got a friend, And you wondering' if you ever gonna' smile again. Every little things gonna be okay.” This one getting me in the feels as well. Another perfect reflection of how Lucy is feeling. I know what it’s like to feel this way. Alone in your pain. Wondering if you’re ever gonna smile again. Be happy. It seems so far off. These lyrics were so perfectly poignant. They were very intentional in using this song. As much as these lyrics made me cry they also filled me with hope and comfort. Particularly the line in that last lyric. That everything is going to be ok. If you haven’t downloaded this song. I highly it recommend it. 'Lift Up Your Head. by Esabalu'

What makes the rest of this moment so beautiful are the following gifs. Lucy opening that card and seeing what Tim has done for her. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lucy cry about them. And it hurts like hell to watch. Like I said she’s been sitting in this pain. Wondering if this relationship meant more to her than it did Tim. Then he does this. Acknowledges her birthday in the perfect way. It does a couple things. One it shows he wanted to make sure this day didn’t pass without him acknowledging it. That’s he’s thinking about her.

Two it shows Lucy he stills cares about her. The gift in itself shows the level of care. He’s reaching out to her without physically doing so. I mean the effort he put into this is immense. He was so creative and thoughtful. Having it come from Kojo and not himself. Executing the perfect delivery on-top of it as well. The way she touches the paw print has me bawling. Just mopping up my tears at this point. Knowing what this card meant. What it represented. Lucy no doubt has been torturing herself still about why it ended.

How he didn’t care for her the way she did for him. She really needed this. Because it shows it has nothing to do with Tim's feelings for her. You don’t put this kind of effort in if you don’t still love someone. Her reaction is the second gif screams that. Lucy still doesn’t understand why. But she can rest little easier knowing it wasn’t about his feelings for her. This shows her he still cares deeply for her. Man owes her a conversation still but this was a beautiful start towards that. Towards healing.

Tim’s face KILLS me. I think the writers intentionally wrote him to come off as if he wasn’t as affected. That this breakup wasn’t killing Tim. When it absolutely was. He needed time to regulate and some therapy to get here. Also it makes this scene hit a little harder doesn’t it? That man’s face above is one of absolute regret. It’s truly hitting him what he’s done to her. Eric once again murdering my feels. They both are.

You can see the myriad of emotions splayed across his beautiful face. It’s here he’s finally grasping what he’s thrown away. Knowing he should be there right now. Celebrating her birthday along side her. That bath bomb she mentions earlier in the scene should be been shared together. This hurts so good. I commend them for the buildup to this moment. We needed that episode previous to get to this point.

For Tim to finally feel the regrets raining down on him right now. That is the face of a man who knows he ruined everything. Fucked up a perfectly wonderful relationship. Destroyed his happiness and hers. Hurt his favorite person in the process of his spiral. It's killing him he can’t be there for her like he used to be. Shut that door when he tossed them away. As much as this moment hurts it's huge step towards reconciliation. Tim coming to the realization of how he’s hurt her and the regret he feels due to it.

Also only Eric and Melissa could have SO MUCH chemistry and not even been in the same room. These final two gifs say it all in that regard my god. You can feel the anguish and emotion between them. Just emanating from them and to each other. I love our ship. I love the actors we are blessed to have portray them. Look at our beautiful babies above. Their on screen chemistry leaves me in awe of them. They aren't even sharing the same space and are exuding chemistry. These final lyrics of this song left me with so much hope.

“All these troubles only gonna last for a while

Yeah, we're gonna be alright, oh, child, lift up your head (yeah, the light, yeah, the light's gonna find you)

And the light's gonna find you”

These troubles are only gonna last for awhile fandom. This season felt like an eternity of pain after 6x05 but we’re gonna be alright. S7 is gonna be that light I just know it. Gonna be worth all this pain and heartache. When we're on the other side of it gonna be so much better. We are so lucky are babies get to be front and center and get these growth SL's. Have depth like they do. I'll take that over blah puddle deep Balian any day. S6 hurt so much. But this too shall pass it'll pass like a kidney stone but it'll pass for us.

Our beautiful moment is interrupted by a text from Mad Dog. He’s asking Tim to come find him to talk. They’re on a roof and that immediately made me nervous. Mad Dog tells Tim one of their guys Nash is paralyzed… I mean this adds to M.D's guilt. To why he ends up killing himself later in this scene. Tim tries to comfort him and let him know it could be temporary. This is where his confession starts. Saying it wasn’t supposed to go down like it did. It never does when you dirty like that…Tim asks him if he compromised the OP?

Tim is in absolute shock as he asks this of his former brother in arms. This is a hard scene to watch. Tim is seeing a man he used to trust his life with be revealed as dirty. That he was compromised. What a gut punch for him. I know Tim struggles with his mistakes still. But the difference being is his were always with the best intentions. He may not see that yet but his honor was always intact with them. His good intentions still present. Tim asked who he told? We all know at this point even Tim does but he needs confirmation. M.D. replies he can’t tell him. She knows all his secrets….Ugh.

Then he kills himself. Last thing this poor man needed was to see this. I do think it’s an interesting parallel to Tim. Why you ask? This could’ve been Tim if had ZERO honor. Zero integrity and moral compass. Had no one there to help support him. What he sees with his mistakes as being un-honorable was never this. M.D. is a person without the fortitude Tim has. It’s why he was turned and can’t live with himself after. I hate it being Dr. London I really do. But if not for her sessions how he reacts after this could’ve been so much worse than it was. His face when he looks over the edge is a knife to my heart...

Thank you once again to you all for reading, liking, commenting (Keep em coming I love them.) and reblogging these reviews. They mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x09 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

Blair being crooked SUCKS. No two ways about it. I fought the idea so hard when the season was happening. Not because I liked her but because of Tim and Aaron too of course. But at this point it was for Tim. He had been vulnerable with her. Started therapy because of her and I was really worried that would be tainted.

Nothing really other than that just Nolan and he doesn't matter lol

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers :) Holy hell can’t believe we're at the finale already. Granted only ten eps but still haha They really made these ten eps count. Can only wonder what a full season would’ve been like. But we can’t live in that realm. This finale minus the Monica crap didn’t care about was real good for our ship.

Also SO excited I got to mainly use pretty gifs from our wonderful gif makers in this one. They create them for us to use and I'm forever grateful. I love that I have the option to use my own if I need it. But much rather use these beautiful gifs if I can help it. First one in awhile been able to. Also proud of myself for getting this out right before my road trip. Moving to another state is a struggle. You hate all your belongings towards the end lol Also with Tumblr being a dick and erasing my edits twice.... But here it is despite all that . Let’s get started.

6x10 Escape Plan

For the sake of GIF space, and wanting to focus on the Chenford in this ep, I'm not going to do GIFs of her UC mission. I will do a quick rundown of what went down. Lucy’s priority is to get evidence linking Blair to Monica. They end up getting that link through Blair herself because of Nolan. Lucy finds out about the hit at the laundromat Monica is paying Batista for though. She is offing a former ally cause she's the absolute worst. Lucy is no longer needed as a Nanny after this with the family taking off.

They've decided to go to ground after this. Lucy is convinced it'll be easy to collar them though. Which leads us to this fantastic little moment. Lucy folds into the OP since she isn’t needed as a UC anymore. Tim does not take his eyes off her from the moment she enters the scene. It’s unreal. Be more in love with her Timothy I dare you. Look at that man above. This mini moment is so soft. The wording, the heart eyes, and how Angela is looking between them.

She knows they’re still in love with each other. Anyone with eyes can see that. It literally pours out of these two without them even noticing. Angela sure notices hehe She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. Melissa and Eric are damn treasure to make such a mini moment so soft and perfect. Got me squeeing to death over here. You can see he’s much happier with her apart of this OP. It’s so lovely. Brief but beautiful. Love our ship.

This scene is the second best of the episode. It’s the first time they’ve really had alone time together since the breakup. Now this isn’t the adult convo they need to have here. BUT this is a HUGE development in terms of communication. Especially from Tim. He’s the one to start and share. He’s grown so much I could cry. This conversation just shows how far he’s come and he is respecting Lucy’s boundaries in the process of this convo.

He’s opening up to her but also doing it on her terms. He doesn’t want to dump his feelings all over her. Because he lost that right when he broke them up. What he is doing is being vulnerable so Lucy knows what an impact she’s made on him. It’s a massive massive growth scene for Tim. It starts out with him sharing he took her advice about therapy. Lucy looks closed off as she should be at first. Saying and?

Tim makes a crack about her being a blackmailing psychopath. Because the jokes help him be vulnerable with her. We all know how much he hates to be that even with Lucy. So this is such good progress for him. Lucy lets him know that’s not normal what happened to him lol I've had two and that most definitely has not happened to me haha You can tell she’s excited he’s gone and doesn’t want him to sour on it cause of Blair. This convo alone proves how much it’s done for him so she wants him to know that. Always watching out for him, no matter what I love it. *happy sigh*

It's fascinating to watch Lucy soften the more he speaks about it. She remains cautious, and rightfully so. But she is intently listening and absorbing everything he’s saying. Tim letting her know the irony was she was a good therapist. And she was there was no doubt about that. She got him to go and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. After being in therapy and having it continually make my life better I so relate with his replies.

How she opened doors to things he didn’t even know was there. You can see he is pensive but lighter as he says this. When you unearth stuff and give it room to breathe. Process what it is. You feel so much better. For me always starts out with this uneasy pressure and fire in my belly. The anxiety and uncomfortableness of it.

Then by the time we’re done dissecting it that feeling is gone and I feel noticeably lighter. Guarantee you was the same for him. You can tell by how he talks about it. Look at how Lucy is looking at him as he speaks. She can sense it too. Gah it’s so good. She is so impressed and proud of him. Look at her face in the first two gifs. It says it all to me. Melissa, like Eric, has a remarkable ability to convey so much emotion through her eyes. Why we have a super couple everyone. Our actors who portray them are superb.

Tim goes on to say now those confessions are being dissected. Up in the cloud for some FBI IT guy to come un-encrypt them. I hate that so much for him. No doubt the confessions he had were very raw and vulnerable. To have them exposed has to be so violating. I know I would be feeling incredibly violated if mine were leaked. It’s supposed to be a safe space to work your crap out. Be emotional, vulnerable, and talk your feelings out. Which is so hard for our boy.

Wish we could've seen his sessions. But they didn't have time with ten eps. Maybe S7? Tim continuing on to say how they’re going to be analyzed for evidentiary value. I hate that so much. Tim is putting a light spin on it. But we know deep down how much that bothers him. If they were in a better spot or even together he would voice that. But they’re not there yet. Lucy looks at him with a soft smile though. One betraying her feelings for this man. Telling him she’s sorry. Because she really is. Last thing she'd ever want for him.

Lucy then asks if he said anything revealing about her? Because of course he did. There’s no way in hell that man didn’t talk about her. She was one of the main reasons he sought out therapy. But there’s nothing to be done about what he revealed at this point. What’s done is done as they say. His joke had me cracking up so very much. I know it was misinterpreted by some. Wondering if he was deflecting.

He was not. He clearly said intimate and personal things in his sessions. Like I said earlier supposed to be a safe space to do so. But given where they are right now. The fact that this is their first real convo in almost four episodes he keeps it light. Maybe someday when they’re back together they can dip their toe back in but that time is not now. As I said in the very beginning of this scene. He is respecting her boundaries in this moment.

Doing this for couple reasons. One making light of it because he’s feeling vulnerable in this moment. Two he wants to lighten the mood because this is a serious subject. I wanna cry at how much he’s grown to even be vulnerable enough to share this with her. Her reply reminded me of 5x21 when she asked Tim if he missed her? It’s so cute and such a light hearted way to end this scene. This scene represents significant growth for him and for their relationship. They’re on the road to slowly healing and I’m here for it.

The hit was pops off. Tim sees one of the guys taking a truck to escape. He pursues him alone and jumps in back. Luckily his wife sees this and takes off after her man. Doesn’t waste anytime going after him. I love it sfm. When the chips are down they are just there for each other. I’ll forever love how fiercely protective they are of one another. Makes my heart swell with shippy happiness. Angela joins Lucy in the pursuit of Tim.

We watch as Lucy is having a panic attack watching Tim struggle. He is losing the battle quickly and she cannot just sit there and let him get hurt or worse. The love of her life is being demolished in this fight. She physically can’t stand it and tells Angela to take the wheel. Angela is floored by her determination to get to him. If you weren’t already impressed with the BAMF Lucy Chen has become. You will be now. Look at how she jumps onto that truck.

The music once again perfection as the scene unfolds. She is fueled by the need to protect her person and some adrenaline to go along with it. I love Tim’s face when she appears. So thankful she is there because he was NOT I repeat not winning. He was upside down so quickly. It’s why Lucy is there saving him. They immediately fall back into the well oiled machine they are in the field. Taking down this guy together. Always say they look like poetry in motion at work this scene is continual proof of that.

I love the looks they share in the cab. Tim’s far more telling than hers. Looks like he’s falling in love with her all over again For the second episode in a row. Floored by the cop she’s become. How amazing she was to make that jump and save his ass. He is forever in awe of this woman in front of him. Saying so much with just a look there Timothy. You are at work put those heart eyes away haha Actually don’t I love it so much. You can see the utter reverence in his eyes for her. Does my shippy soul good to see it.

The look Tim gives her outside the truck is EVERYTHING. She just risked her life to save him. That man is in shock. After everything he did. The fact that she would risk her life for him like that.... He can't believe it. That’s the face of a man astonished by the woman standing before him. She did it because she still loves you my silly goober of a man. But we will get there I’m sure of it. Like I said earlier this is a slow healing and I’m ready for the ride. I really am.

So much is being said with these looks and no words are even spoken. That’s the beauty of our ship right here. That silent communication only they have. How they can convey so much with just a look. God I love this ship. There’s a reason they’ve had a stranglehold on me for years. Tim cannot take his eyes off the woman in front of him. I love it so much.

T.O. Tim would’ve lost his mind at her action. In love Tim can’t stop being in awe of her for it. I can’t get over how he is looking at her. It’s so telling. Lucy is reciprocating will a look of her own. Their instinct to reach out to each other but they hold back. *sigh*. Such a an incredible fight scene. Our ship got back to back finales with bad ass fight scenes. I love watching them in the field. That’s where their roots begin. Why I love it so much.

We start off the glorious elevator scene. (And fantastic song in the background. Can't praise the music department enough.)We get back to back goodies in this space too. The scene we’re about to embark on is beautifully done. Eric and Melissa doing what they do best. Knocking it out of the park with their skills and chemistry. I love Tim’s 'Lucy smile' being in full force as she walks up to him. *happy sigh* That man could not be more in love with her if he tried. Lucy isn’t holding back with the heart eyes when he’s not looking either. Her being the one to crack the joke is precious. Lightening the vibe instantly.

Making a crack about his injury. Her way of showing she cares without it getting too personal. Because they just aren’t there yet and ya know that’s ok. This is going to be a slow burn to reconciliation. I’m actually pretty excited about it. Tim returns her affections with a joke of his own. Saying slacker is his middle name haha Ever the gentlemen let’s Lucy go on first. They settle into the elevator with some charged energy. Lucy retreats into the back of it. Not ready to be standing that close to him yet.

Wanting to keep whatever this interaction may be brief. She’s still hurting and it shows. Also, knowing the magnetic pull of theirs too strong for her to tempt fate by being closer to him. Tim feels this too as he settles in. Doesn’t push it. His spatial awareness around her remains considerate. Stays out of her bubble for the most part. The growth train with Tim continues. I’m floored by this scene everyone. Just floored. Also proud and astonished by this man. Opening up to not once but TWICE in the same episode.

Let us delve into this wonderful scene with how Tim opens it up. His back to her still. Respecting this physical boundary she has set up. I wanna start by saying watch Lucy in the background as he speaks. He only slightly turns his body so he can’t fully see it. The look of apprehension present? Yes. She is like a wounded animal, not sure if she can trust the man in front of her fully. But she cannot for the life of her keep the love and reverence out of her eyes. She does it the entire scene.

Just because she can’t trust him yet doesn’t mean she isn’t still madly in love this man. Her actions in the OP proving as much. Tim leads off with her saving his life. Blatantly stating she saved his life. Who are you and what have you done with Tim Bradford? Lucy deflects because she doesn’t know how to handle this new Tim. One who is graciously giving her credit. Lucy is feeling vulnerable herself and pushing it away. Telling Tim he had him. Honey, you don’t jump onto a moving truck out another vehicle in motion if he had him lol

Tim refuses to take ANY credit for this. Telling her basically how fucked he was in that moment. Reminding her of his predicament. Letting her know how much he DID NOT have him. He knows he screwed up in his approach and she saved him from his mistake. The growth here makes me wanna cry. They are happy tears don’t worry. The more I go through this season the more I’m glad we had this all happen. I know you must think I’m crazy for saying that. But it’s true.

Can you imagine S1 Tim acknowledging his mistake and showing gratitude to Lucy for saving him? Hell, even S5 Tim, who is madly in love with her, couldn’t share the credit in 5x05 for her saving his life in the pilot. This is a much different Tim Bradford we are looking at folks. Despite all the crap with Dr. London he has grown. Their fallout brought him to a place where he could. To the point where he is thanking her for saving him. No bravado. No tough Tim. Just vulnerability plain and simple. Not only that but sincere gratitude.

Lucy can see the vulnerability he is displaying to her. She can feel how sincere his words are because she knows this man. Back in 6x09 she asked John how he sounded. Because she can determine everything about where is by the tone of his voice. Lucy can’t even see his face really but can tell how sincere he is being by his voice.

That’s why we get this incredibly soft look from her. Heart eyes galore as she tells him ‘You’re welcome.’ As I stated earlier she may not trust him right now. But god is she is so in love with this man. It’s written all over how she is staring at him as she replies above.

Getting me all in my shippy feels and igniting my excitement. I have no doubt Tim feels she doesn’t love him anymore. If he turned around and saw her revealing look of love he would know. But he doesn’t. Being respectful of her space in this moment he keeps his back turned.

It’s here we see Tim internalizing everything. Gathering up the courage to turn around and tell her what’s been on his heart. Something I’m sure has been rattling around in his head since he started therapy. Their hug in this very elevator likely intensified these feelings even more. The kindness and empathy she showed him. Even though he felt unworthy of it. It stirred something up in him. Realizing again what he once had that he so hastily threw away. Once again Eric be killing me with his expressiveness. Tim finds the courage to turn around and speak his peace.

We watch him be vulnerable and open up to her for the third time in this ep. Second time just in this moment. Once I was shocked and proud enough. But three all together? I’m damn right giddy at this point. He starts off STRONG. Admitting he knows he ruined everything. This is HUGE. Finally admitting fault to her. The fact that he knows this and is acknowledging it. *screams into a pillow* It's everything we've waited for. It’s an incredible start to this part. So many were mad at him in 6x07. It wasn’t fair or just to Tim. He needed time to get here. Lucy may need her own therapy and growth. But is little more evolved in the emotional game than Tim.

Also it's WHY he needed therapy in the first place. Wasn’t fair to expect that out the gate for him pre-therapy. You don’t get his character if that’s what you expected IMO. Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true. It’s what makes this scene even more satisfying. To watch him make the journey to this moment with her. To let her know he screwed up royally. That he wouldn’t have blamed her for turning on him. He made it easy to. This second line showing he still has growth to do. To get to the place where he knows Lucy love him through anything. But he’s a WIP as we all are lol

Lucy isn’t sure she is ready for this conversation. We can see that she struggles to even make eye contact with him. Like I said earlier, she’s having a hard time trusting him, let alone accepting this newer side of Tim. It’s a lot for her to take in post OP. She’s also still harboring a lot of anger towards him. You can see it percolating all over her expression. Tears forming in her eyes. Threatening to fall at any second. Melissa out here trying kill me with her amazing acting.

That anger is ever present and hasn't really had a chance to breathe or surface at all. I mentioned in 6x09 that she hadn't really dealt with the trauma of their breakup fully. Her reaction above is proof of that. This is why she’s letting him know he doesn’t have to do this. Because, deep down, this is what she’s wanted, but she isn’t sure she is actually ready for it. She hasn't sorted through her own feelings and anger fully about all this. Fingers crossed s7 does that or she is there by then. Also Lucy is trying to give Tim an out he is REFUSING to take with her reply.

Tim isn’t going to let this moment pass by without saying this. He is trying to repair them with something he should’ve done long ago. Communication. Honest communication with her. It’s on his heart to do this and nothing is stopping him. It’s here he says a line that makes us all swoon. Makes us all wanna kiss him for. Also, it's making me incredibly emotional in the process. He’s just so god damn sincere it’s making my heart ache in the best way. Letting her know she will never know how much he appreciates her kindness.

Because to Tim he felt so unworthy of it. He felt that way before they broke up. Her continuing to be the same caring empathetic person to him afterwards? Blowing his mind. Also reminding him of this incredible person he let slip through his fingers. It’s an epiphany he’s having here in this moment. What he’s really thanking her for is far more than just the truck and their elevator hug.

She’s shown him her kindness and big heart since the start of their relationship. When he was a dumpster fire and all she could see was his good heart. The man that was beneath all the damage. Lucy has been a constant source of joy, positivity and love in his life. He would be remiss not to thank her for all that she has done for him. This is extending for their whole relationship IMO. His words holding extra meaning in that regard. Thanking her for their entire relationship.

This next part is friggin EVERYTHING. This is Tim acknowledging he took her choice and voice away in 6x06. He is giving her all the say in this moment. Letting her know he will spend the rest of his life trying to pay her back. Which makes my heart happy on so many levels. Wanting to EARN his spot back at her side. Not just waltzing back in. He wants to demonstrate his commitment and win back his place in her life. Gah it’s so good.

I can't wait to see what does for his small doses in s7. Also, there’s something so beautiful about Lucy just being Lucy that reminds him why he fell in love with her in the first place. About what he has lost as well. Knowing this incredible person needs to be earned back. He then follows it up with whatever small doses she allows. Which is now on HER terms. He’s giving Lucy her voice and choice back.

Things he robbed her of in their breakup. Took away her agency when he did these things. Beautiful thing is he recognizes this and is letting her know. Not only does he have a lot to make up for, but if she allows him to, it’ll be fully on her terms and say. You’re dead inside if you weren’t tearing up in this moment. I was a mess. Also If you can’t see the enormous amount of growth this moment represents I can’t help you lol

Lucy’s guarded but softened look says everything. How she is longing to let him back in but can’t just yet. Almost like how a rescue animal would react. The need to want to trust is there. But it hasn’t been rebuilt yet. She is hesitant to truly trust in it. Lucy is floored by the man standing in front of her though. The myriad of emotions coursing through her is reflected above. Just look at her eyes alone. It’s here we can see her soften a little. Defrost a bit. She’s not there yet but she will be. We all love Lucy for her loving and forgiving heart. I don’t see why she wouldn’t let him back in if he continues this growth. This desire to make things right between them.

Working on himself to be better. Regaining his place in her life. Something he wants so badly but realizes he needs to earn back. There is a great quote from Ted Lasso that fits perfectly here. "I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather by the strength we show when and if we're ever given a second chance." I remember there being a small faction of people being nasty about Tim still. How they never wanted Lucy to forgive him. It was those same people who were terrible about his mental health crisis too. Showing their emotional immaturity once again. Made my blood boil.

I avoided the Chenford tag because couldn't take the outrageous takes they were spewing. Here is what I have to say to those people. One. I hope you never make a mistake in your life then. Because the way you want this man to be treated is with zero empathy or compassion. I highly doubt you'd want that for yourself. Second refer to the quote above. No one should be defined by the actions of their weakest moments. That's not who Lucy Chen is. There is no way she would hold this against someone she loves forever. Tim is going to earn her back I guarantee you that. He is going to show strength when given that second chance. Mark my words.

Tim gives her the sweetest Lucy smile before he turns back around. Feeling better having shared a piece of himself with her. Proud of himself for being vulnerable with her even though scared him to death. Written all over his face in the second gif. But he couldn't let her leave that elevator without letting her know he was going to put the work in. Going to try and fix what he so hastily broke.

It’s once again how Lucy is looking at him when he turns back around that gets me. That longing to reach out to him but keeping herself from doing as such. Keeping herself rooted to that wall in an effort to stop herself from reaching out like she longs to. If you were wondering if she was still in love with him look at her. That is the face of a woman who is still so in love with the man before her.

Tim tops it off with bidding her good night. Nothing more nothing less. He said what he needed to say. It’s up to Lucy to accept it or ignore it completely. It’s her prerogative either way. Which is the impression he wanted to leave her with. Lucy keeping that longing but questioning look up as she follows him out below. We can see her starting to see the change in him as she does. First he tells her he's gone to therapy and now this. I saw a something the other day it said 'An apology isn't one if there isn't changed behavior.' Tim is exhibiting changed behavior here.

Lucy is feeling torn between staying mad or starting to heal. Wanting desperately to believe in his words. That is written all over her face as she exits the elevator. We see her face change into a small smile at the end. It's not in this gif but she does. This was the start to healing everyone. Also was the perfect way to end the season for them IMO. Why you ask? Because it didn’t need to more than this. Anything more would be been a disservice to this SL they created. Would’ve made breaking them up pointless. It had to have a purpose and this was it. Growth. Also this scene is a promise for s7.

I know some wanted a frantic hook up but it wasn't right to do so. They are not ready to be back together yet. Both have a lot of work to do before we get there. How they ended them for the season was *chefs kiss* It ended with Tim acknowledging the wrong he had done and what he’s going to do to make it up. That’s what makes s7 so exciting. I think he will continue therapy. I really do. I also think we’re about to see a determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends. Get to see a side of him we haven’t seen before and that excites me to no end.

Because Lucy Chen brings out the best in this man. And s7 is going to reflect that. As much as this season ripped my heart out. Truly I haven’t been this devastated by a couple in half a decade at least. If not a little more tbh. But rewatching this and having a better insight to it. I’m glad they did this. We all love Lucy rebuilding him and loving him into a better version of himself. Don’t get me wrong I love that. She changed his life dramatically for the better. Thing is she was his safety blanket emotionally.

I said this back in 6x07 that it was Tim’s journey to go on not Lucy’s. It was his problem to fix. She couldn’t fix what was wrong inside him. Only therapy and putting in the work was going to get that done. Their breakup was an eventuality without Tim growing. When they get back together (which they will) we will be grateful for the painful growth this season gave them. Said this before. Rather have them evolve snd grow as characters than be puddle deep like Bailian.

We’re going to get a stronger and even better version of Chenford in s7. Better version of them as characters as well. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. Because it wouldn’t be right or realistic to rush them back together. I’m ready for the slow burn of s7. I really am. It's going to make when they get back together all the more sweet. I’ll be excited when we lose our minds collectively when it does. Also enjoying the journey it’ll take to get us there. I might do minis for s7 too. I’ll post something when we get closer to that if that’s someone people want.

Until then remember our ship is the best ship on this show. They’ll find their way back to each other. When they do it’s going to make it all worth it ❤️ Also the link above is for the song in the elevator. Whoever is in charge if music is truly gifted at what they do. Every song was lyrically perfect or just musically apt for the moment it was in. Thank you to everyone once again for the likes, comments (please leave comments haha I love them sfm) Reblogs they make all The effort so worth it. Shall see you all in s7 :)

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

More creepy waking up with Bailian. I don’t get get them as a couple. I really don’t. Like watching paint dry.

Loved Aaron's mic drop of a moment with Dr. London. Well done sir. Shall miss you. Come and visit eh? Maybe for a wedding...