#i loved the moments of closeness!!
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i watch baseball for the side quests
update: i think you should look at the reblogs for more important baseball hijinks
#please… when he started decorating it with sunflower seeds#when the commentators were like: he actually tried to pour water in the moat#;_______; i love#baseball can not be a real sport#my fave moment is still mantis-chan perched on victor robles’ cap. the tandem we deserve#but this. this come close#the nhl should let opposing players in the penalty box build a snowman together#lourdes gurriel jr#luis castillo#arizona diamondbacks#seattle mariners#baseball#mlb
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He has no mouth but he must scream in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf cassidy#william afton#springtrap#fnaf 3#happy halloween everyone!!#last day I can do a spooky comic#so thought I end it off with a bang#the springlock moment#just the idea William is on the floor#he can’t scream cause his lungs are punctured from the suit#and he watches as the backroom door closes on him#Cassidy laughing the whole time as she locks him away#this is based off the scene in the FNAF movie itself#just game version..#I might keep making spooky comics more often after the spooky season#I love horror arts
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My moodboard for this👍😁
cherry wine
pairing: taehyun x reader
genre: college!au, chef!tyun, fluff, suggestive (it gets steamy towards the end?!)
prompts: - "i can feel how fast your heart is beating right now"
- "here- let me help you"
warnings: none<3
word count: 2.8k
a/n: this is a repost from my old blog!!<3 special dedication to the anon who sent me an ask about this fic, hope you'll enjoy reading this again :D💓💞💘💖💓
there were many things that you were good that. cooking, however, was not one of them. when you first got one of your friends to come over and taste one of your dishes, they could barely hold back tears as they tried to chew the food and make it slide down their throat. knowing that you’re not a big fan of takeout, they could barely comprehend how you’ve managed to survive up until now.
the minute your uni opened up a cooking course held by the culinary arts students, your friend made sure that your name would be the first one to appear on that list- without telling you about it, of course. you had a big ego, and you most likely wouldn’t have accepted to sign up for the course yourself. therefore, so as not to risk anything, they only told you about the secret they’ve been keeping away from you one hour before the first class started.
‘stupid course’ you mumbled, putting on the apron that the chef’s assistant handed you. was it really necessary to wear it? you were thankful that at least there weren’t any other familiar faces in the room, otherwise you would have died of embarrassment. everybody else seemed to have, in one way or another, some sort of knowledge in the cooking field. meanwhile, you lacked the skills, and the blue apron you were dressed up in made you feel goofy. you glanced over at your watch: 11:02. if you were fast enough maybe there was still time for you to sneak out of there-
“good morning, everybody” a male voice was heard.
great. your one and only chance to escape slipped away from your hands. the course was officially starting, and there was no way you could back out now. you lifted your head, eyes searching for the source of the voice, and once your eyes landed on him- you couldn’t help but inhale sharply.
you were screwed.
the student that was assigned as the ‘head chef’ was cute- so much cuter than you thought. he was somehow the perfect combination of cute and hot: big shiny eyes that resembled two tapioca pearls, a soft smile that revealed his cat-like fangs, as well as broad shoulders and toned arms, which were exposed by his rolled up sleeves.
“i’m taehyun, a 3rd year culinary arts major” he introduced himself “i will be the one leading you throughout this course. thank you to everyone who has signed up, i hope you will find these lessons useful”
taehyun’s words were met with a round of applause from the other people in the room. he smiled brightly, clasping his hands together “without further ado- let’s get started. we’ll start of easy, with a basic soup recipe”
you glared at the vegetables in front of you. it seemed like your definition of easy didn’t exactly match his. making a sandwich was easy. cutting vegetables? absolutely not. you clumsily tried to follow along as taehyun demonstrated each step, paying close attention to not cut or stab your finger with the knife. these poor vegetables- your cutting board resembled a crime scene. you sighed, looking at the potatoes and carrots that you had yet to handle.
taehyun started roaming around the kitchen counters, making sure that everyone was carrying out the task well. you sensed him stopping right next to your place, and you resisted the urge to hide the mess you created with your hands. knowing that his eyes were on you, you were now feeling even more nervous than before. your hands were now starting to shake as you continued using the knife.
“can you give me your knife for a second?” taehyun asked, interrupting your actions.
“s-sure” you stuttered, handing him the sharp object. taehyun moved closer to you, grabbing one of the carrots from the basket.
“when you cut these- make sure you get rid of the ends first” he spoke as his hands followed the instructions “this makes it a bit easier to hold the rest of the carrot. then- hold the knife straight, and push it down, separating it into smaller pieces” you watched as taehyun chopped up the rest of the carrot flawlessly, in probably less than 10 second “give it another go” he offered you the knife back, making you gulp.
you breathed in deeply, trying to calm yourself down as you reached out for your own carrot. however, your attempt was in vain. no matter how many times you tried, the pieces you were cutting ended up looking uneven. you could feel your cheeks burning intensely. “i’m so sorry-“ turning to look at taehyun in pity, you were expecting him to start laughing in your face, but you were only met with another one of his sweet smiles.
“you’re holding the knife at an angle. here- let me help you” taehyun walked behind you, his hands hovering right above yours “is this okay?” he spoke softly, waiting for your confirmation to go on.
you nodded, and taehyun took hold of your hands guiding them as he explained again “like this” he whispered, pressing down the knife gently. he was just correcting your mistakes- just doing his job, but god, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter.
“think you’ve got it now?” he chuckled.
you almost forgot to reply, too caught up in the moment “yeah- thank you”
“you’re welcome-“ taehyun sneaked a glance at your name tag “-y/n” the words rolled off his tongue softly.
taehyun removed his hands from you, going back to his place at the front to go on with the lesson. perhaps this course wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
the next time you had to attend the cooking course, you put in a little bit more effort in your appearance. for taehyun? maybe. only something subtle though. you did want it to be noticeable, just not too much. he wasn’t supposed to catch on to the fact that he was the cause of this.
the thought of doing mistakes didn’t seem as taunting anymore- not if it meant that taehyun would be the one helping you out again.
no matter how many times you were struggling, taehyun came over to you with a smile, fondness taking over his eyes as you furrowed your brows, paying close attention to his words.
one day, he called your name out at the end of the lesson- asking you to remain for a bit. you waited next to him as the class emptied, and taehyun shily pulled his phone out once it was just the two of you there “if you ever have questions or need help with anything- you can always text me”
and so you did. you used any excuse to talk to him, asking small questions like “how should i prepare this?” “what can i add to this?” “does this look right?” and taehyun seemed to reply with enthusiasm every time. you looked forward to seeing him every saturday at the course. any kind of stress created by college disappeared the moment you were in his warm presence, and felt his soft touch. you couldn’t help but sulk a little bit whenever he helped out other students, even though that was simply what he was supposed to do. maybe you just wanted to have all of his focus on you.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
walking out after your last course of the day, you received a new message:
taehyun :)
[6:34 pm] are you free tonight? there’s something i want you to try
you typed in a quick reply, an almost immediate raise in heartbeat taking place at the thought of seeing him that evening.
you got back to your dorm as fast as possible to drop off your bag, as well as to get changed into something a tad bit more special than just some jeans and a hoodie.
once you reached taehyun’s door, you took a moment to rearrange the flyaway hairs and to make sure that your outfit looked in good condition. ringing up the doorbell, taehyun didn’t take long before opening the door, the smell of freshly-sprayed on cologne enveloping your senses, a breathless ‘hi’ escaping past both your lips at the exact same time.
the only source of light in taehyun’s apartment was the small candles sitting on the elegantly decorated dining table. it seemed like he had everything prepared, except for one single thing: the dish itself. all the ingredients were neatly prepared on the counter, as if waiting for your arrival. those were, indeed, taehyun’s intentions. he did have a special dish in mind that he wanted you to try, but the though of having you in his presence while preparing it just seemed to make his heart flutter a bit longer.
even though you were definitely not as skilled as taehyun when it came to cooking, you still offered to help him in any way you could, not wishing to simply sit around waiting to be served. for your first task, you were chopping some tomatoes for the pasta sauce. taehyun came up behind you, putting his hands on top of yours like he did during your first course with him.
“don’t worry- i know how to do this now” you said.
“really?” taehyun quirked an eyebrow, the tone of his voice both amusing yet also incredulous.
you hummed, proud of your small progress. taehyun didn’t separate himself from you “maybe i just want to stay close to you” he admitted, voice low as if he didn’t know whether it was right to confess his thoughts out loud.
“i wouldn’t mind that” you spoke quietly, letting out a confession of your own as well.
you could hear taehyun softly exhale in relief at your response. his warm chest came into contact with your back, his head coming to rest on your shoulder. it was intimate- way too intimate for those feelings of love to be clouding your heart only. his warm breath on your neck was starting to make you feel almost light-headed, to make you lose focus, and in a moment where your attention had completely dissipated into thin air, you almost let the knife cut your finger.
“are you okay? did you get hurt?” taehyun asked in worry. he brought your finger to his face upon closer inspection “it’s all good, don’t worry” you replied hurriedly, embarrassed by your lack of concentration at the task at hand “i just got lost in thought that’s all” you babbled on further. taehyun nodded as he started guiding you, holding your hand and the knife with slightly tighter grip than before to ensure that there wouldn’t be any more slip-ups “do it this way” he said.
“like this?” you repeated, trying it out yourself. you turned your head slightly to face him. there was a soft pink dusting taehyun’s cheeks.
“yeah, just like this” he answered back in a daze. you didn’t fail to notice the way his eyes sneaked a glance at your lips. the thought too tempting and inviting- especially when he was holding you so close. but he had to wait- he couldn’t give in yet. the tension and lingering touches were consuming you whole as you continued to prepare the dish together.
the wine taehyun placed down the table seemed to be the perfect solution to loosen things up, to get rid of all the worries of your unspoken feelings.
“i bought this especially for tonight- it goes well with the dish” taehyun looked down as he smiled shily “i hope you’ll like it” he said as he poured each of you a glass of the sweet cherry wine.
“swirl it around first- then let the liquid touch your lips for a bit to get a small taste” he explained. taehyun already had an interest in alcohol, and the culinary arts programme had only expanded his knowledge in the field further. although it was necessary for him to learn- you found it attractive how he paid attention to even the smallest details.
the wine was more of a sweet kind than dry, intense- yet not overwhelming, and just as intoxicating as him. the pasta didn’t let down your expectations either. you had never tasted pasta with a sauce so creamy and full of flavour before, you couldn’t believe that you had assisted in the preparation and didn’t somehow ruin it.
“this tasted so good” you complimented him hurriedly between bites. taehyun couldn’t control his face at the sound of your words- a cocky grin taking over which he tried to hide subtly by having another sip of wine.
“only the best for you” he replied brazenly, reaching out his glass towards you. meeting him half-way, you clinked your glasses together, giggling at his words.
the wine glasses were filled right after another without a moment of waiting as you got through your dinner. and before you knew it, the expensive bottle was already sitting on the floor underneath the table, not a singular drop remaining in it. to you, taehyun’s eyes seemed to sparkle a bit more now, his smile at least ten times more endearing. and to taehyun? he could barely hold himself back from confessing out of the blue just so that he could finally give your lips a kiss
you clumsily gathered the dishes, bringing them over to the sink. you both agreed that washing them should be a problem for later, since you were quite (very) tipsy and didn’t want to risk flooding the apartment.
turning around after you placed the last plate in the sink, you were taken aback to see taehyun so close to you. he put his hands on the counter behind you, trapping you between it and his own body. his eyes were firmly placed on yours and you noticed how the blush on his cheeks had never disappeared. was it because of you? or just the alcohol?
his head fell on your shoulder, his hands were now on the small of your back as he tried to keep his balance.
“tae- is everything okay?” you asked worriedly. you didn’t know what his alcohol tolerance was, and you didn’t want him passing out on the floor in front of you.
taehyun hummed, burying his face in the crook of your neck. his soft black hair tickled your skin, and you wished you could run your hands through it “can we just stay like this for a bit?” he mumbled.
you opened your mouth to speak, but taehyun interrupted you before you could do so “i can feel how fast your heart is beating right now” he lightly chuckled.
“you’re probably the cause of that...” you replied, the alcohol giving you the slight push to admit it. “is that so?” taehyun lifted his head up slightly, peering into your eyes “every time i get close to you- my heart beats just the same”
your face burned instantly, locking eyes with him for just one moment, before you noticed the way his travelled down to your lips once again. taehyun licked his lips before resting his forehead against yours. his warm breath tickled your lips, and your body trembled in anticipation for him to close the gap. pulling him in by softly grabbing the collar of his shirt, your lips captured taehyun’s in a tender kiss.
taehyun melted into your touch, letting out a small gasp once he promptly parted away from you, only to come back to taste you with even more passion than before. warmth consumed you, breathing heavily as your lips pressed together in a frenzy “your lips taste so sweet” taehyun breathed out “even sweeter than the cherry wine”. taehyun clumsily moved any leftover ingredients out of the way before lifting you up on the counter, his hands trailing underneath your shirt, touching your bare back as he continued to kiss you, the desire flowing through your veins was making it unable for you to stop. it made a chill run down your spine, and you parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. your fingers got lost through the strands of his hair, pulling at them slightly and emitting a deep hum from him; hot, passionate kisses sending a rush through your whole body as you tasted him. his lips were so soft- so warm, and so incredibly addictive.
in need of oxygen, you parted away for him for a moment, his glistening lips trailing back almost immediately.
“please- will you let me have another taste?”
#txt x reader#kang taehyun x reader#this was so cute omgg#and just the right amount of spicy#maybe the possibility of meeting a hot guy will motivate me to learn to cook better??#i loved the moments of closeness!!#the tension??? 😳💞#where do i find my own chef taehyun???#i love how they were both down bad for each other🥺#and them cooking food together!!!! CUTE😣😣💞#he's such a sweetheart#and The Tension!!! AAAA-😵💫😵💫#what a confession... 😳🥴
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archfey warlock
#artists on tumblr#had to close all asks and messages for a moment#sorry#i just can't deal with the bot spam#will be back in some time again#i've been playing the dragon age series lately#currently working on DA2#i'm completely in love with fenris hello#i heard the new game won't care about your DA2 choices#gonna cry if fenris shows up and is like hawke who#inquisition save me#i need another fave character that is less likely to break my heart in vguard
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The Doctor and River Song + Being A Besotted Old Married Couple
I’m all yours, Sweetie. Only River Song gets to call me that.
Bonus:
#doctor who#dwedit#timelordgifs#eleventh doctor#thirteenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#river song#userparallels#usersource#tvedit#otpsource#userbbelcher#useroptional#usertelevision#userstream#doctorriver#elevenriver#twelveriver#matt smith#ok I’m done; I kept fidgeting with the coloring over and over#was driving me up a wall; but I’m happy to finally be done#I’ve been wanting to do a doctorriver + marriage gifset for weeks now#and it morphed into this; a compilation of all their little names and endearments for each other#a celebration of them being unapologetically married and in love with each other#these two#embracing and reminiscing over these stolen moments together as time closes in on them#also there was no way I was passing up David and ncuti in costume calling river their wife#consider me collapsed into a puddle#my besotted married OTP
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i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk megumi#megumi#looks at clock UHHHHHHHH oops#i got lost in the sauce that is rendering his gd chin and under his lips.... ive been in stylized anime mouth land 2 long i fear#i had forgotten how much of a pain those shadows are :'>>> eSP at a lookdown angle#fought a bit but little did he know i spent years doing coloured pencil portraits. this is My domain#god but the rest of the skin render was so FUN i love . warm grey in2 brown in2 red/orange fr the deep underneck shadow#lip tint heavy blush freckles glossier model fushiguro megumi...........im a believer i fear#had a bit of a hard time finding a middle ground between how i normally draw his hair and a more Realistic take on it#the model in the og has hair that's pretty close but i think the strands r a bit short n too heavily curved fr my tastes#its my brand im afraid i simply must give itfs both longer hair#nothing else feels Right#but god i underestimated how Good this photoshoot is as megu material . i get the hype now i get it#i did the sketch n i looked at it and i had an oh /oh/ moment#smh megumi put those lustrous emerald orbs away before u hurt some1#his gaze is too powerful . slaps a red bg on him makes him my new icon :)#anyway its 6am it is morning time do i sleep fr like 3 hrs or do i say megumi voice Whatever we shall see
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pov you are donnie having the worst time of your life
just a little doodle of the closet scene from @qoldenskies 's Caged Lungs which is a great fic and series that you should all check out if you want some good donnie whump
#my art#tmnt#tmnt 2018#2018 tmnt#tmnt 2k18#2k18 tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt leonardo#tmnt leo#tmnt leonardo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey#tmnt michelangelo#i know they shut the door on donnie really quickly#but i always imagined them taunting him a bit while he tried to get up and was figuring out what was going on#and then closing the door once he realized so they could see that moment of realization on his face#ANYWAYS#i love this fic
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Lap Pillow
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic.#WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is.#We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple.#Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain.#Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it.#I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj!#Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for.#For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping)#He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about.#LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic.#My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this
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i do think it’s very important that liam pointed out specifically that no matter how hardheaded orym is in what he believes he doesn’t let that stop him from seeking dorian out for comfort and wanting dorian close to him and dorian quickly reciprocating. i think that’s especially important when so many people thought that their opposing sides would drive them further apart (especially on orym’s part) when in actuality we learned that orym’s love for dorian is SO fucking strong that it it supersedes his hardheadedness which when you remember who orym is, is actually a big fucking deal
#*#critical role#dorym#it’s never said so outwardly but when liam and/or robbie decide to give us a moment between those two they fucking take it#it might not be a kiss or saying i love you but it’s said in seeking dorian out after disagreeing in an intense conversation#and it’s said by dorian holding orym close and stroking his hair#we may very well not get an outward declaration of love until like the final night before the final battle#but their love is shown in every moment dorian desperately heals orym in battle#and it’s shown every time orym hand at his sword stands beside dorian in protection and bravery
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Vash the (stupid babygirl) Stampede
#trigun stampede#trigun#vash the stampede#vash#tristamp#i had so much fun doing this#i laughed at my own gifs lmao#the first one was a pain in the ass to do#stupid birds#these were some of the few moments vash was allowed to be a dumbass#then everything went to shit#I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH ALSJDALSKDJALSDAd#trigun edit#please dont look very closely to the masks#im a lazy ass#my gifs: itachanta
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I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself#note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown#when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is#and how much his persona is more an actor#Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so#since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it#and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are#I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja#his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times#not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo#but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters#or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily#it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do#like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero#All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential#likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja#but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse#he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it#Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like#you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION
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they are sooooo cute
#by the way. sua with glasses. yes.#senior sua.....#sua is the senior who is calm and sweet with everyone like a goddess#till is the senior who looks lowkey hard to approach and goes straight home after work so nobody is really that close to him#if senior sua will comfort and gently encourage her juniors with kind words#till is the senior who seems stricter and will give criticism (with good intention. just a bit blunt)#mizi being shy in the offrec au is so cute 😭😭😭 and the fact that even though she's shy she was the one who offered to approach till#is sua offering mizi a coffee? or is it the other way around? either way adorable#i love how mizi and ivan are taller than their seniors 😭😭😭 soooo cute wah#till and sua are friends in this au. let me believe in these lies#the cool seniors who go out for lunch together and stay in each other's trailers/rooms to talk about their respective headaches#i don't know why i made this post sorry. moment of weakness#literally just rambling#anyways offrec au my beloved#alnst#alien stage#alien stage till#alien stage sua#alien stage mizi#alien stage ivan#ivantill#mizisua
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noah doodles bc hes fun to draw 💔💔💔 hope he gets hit by a meteorite /pos
#dooble moment#my art#total drama#total drama fanart#td noah#td izzy#tdi#total drama island#tdwt#total drama world tour#hes such an unauthorized fuckin thing…. shoots him down immediately#contemplating abt how i draw the female characters in total drama…#cuz drawing them with extremely close-together eyes is not it#i might just do the clone high approach#idk#they got funky eyes#still love them tho
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it's getting weirder 🎉🎉🎉
[sketch dump part 1 — part 2 — part 3 — part 4 — part 5]
#we r also having a signalis moment#I LOVE LOOPS#this makes no sense outside of the au#disco elysium but space but p5 but signalis but—#i just love it when there's two akechis. okay#DIVORCE PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO#persona 5#p5#persona 5 royal#p5r#procreate#2024#goro akechi#persona 5 protagonist#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#shuake#akeshu#1 hour#taitavva sketches#so close to being done w/ finals#just took my second to last one & i am ready for this to b over
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no better detail in the temple of bhaal than the leading library. the fact it’s a single bookshelf with a sign leaned against it really sells it. like durge was fighting tooth an nail for a full library but nobody cared, so they just dragged a shelf to a corner of the room and had sceleritas make a sign.
gortash notices it on his first visit and is like “how charming, how novel.” and brings a book his next time around. he mentions he added a scroll to durge, who is like “i have to to see this now.” and enver thinks he’s going to get in trouble because it’s not about murder but it could literally be an empty scroll and durge would just be excited someone else cares about their project.
#durgetash#enver gortash#dark urge#durge#not the moment durge fell in love but close#i like the pettiness of durge 100% having the authority to just MAKE people build them a library but because people laughed at the concept#they were like ‘screw you guys then i’ll just do it myself’
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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