#i love you tumblr but i also hate you at the same time
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themoonking · 3 years ago
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sorry not sorry but if you were ever a prequel hater i'm gatekeeping you from being a prequel lover now that it's popular to do so. you don't get to shit on the prequels for no reason only to turn around and be a prequel stannie (ESPECIALLY a hayden christensen stannie) now that kenobi is the hot new star wars thing. obikins don’t touch my post, i am also gatekeeping you <3
#the prequels had shitty dialogue? that's subjective but either way its the same exact quality of dialogue as the original trilogy#so if you constantly make fun of the pt for its dialogue you HAVE to constantly make fun of the ot for ITS dialogue#or else we both know that thats not the actual reason its just an excuse#the prequels had shitty cgi? they were all made in the late nineties/early aughts i wont say this this was the most cutting edge shit around#but it was pretty standard quality special effects for the time#you can't hate on a film because it's cgi aged poorly its unfair because this was quality shit at the time#the story was dumb? i have nothing to say to that because i can't help you if you don't have taste#ewan mcgregor was the only actor from the prequels that the 'fanbase' was even a little bit kind to#hayden christensen never got a moment's peace about his (fucking GOOD) performance and yet somehow despite that#maintains nothing but love for the films and excitement and joy at his return which makes absolutely no sense#because given the amount of shit he got he should be going through a (completely justified) fucking joker arc fr#natalie portman was treated horribly for daring to be a woman in a star wars film and then even more after the films were made#for daring to talk about star wars#despite the fact that she was In The Movies#like that one tumblr post where someone sends an ask about who does she think she is wearing a star wars shirt when she probably#hasnt seen the movies#(same ask might have also called her a bitch idk)#where the person who received the ask has to be like 'that's natalie portman and she was IN THE MOVIES'#jake lloyd's life was basically ruined and he was a fucking child when he was in the phantom menace (never forgiving y'all for that one)#and even alleged prequel lovers act like they needed to be 'fixed' like the way some 'pt lovers' talk about tcw and how it 'fixed' the pt#as if they arent just spouting the same shit that pt haters say fr#but that's a topic for another day another post i wont get into that now#i speak#star wars#kenobi#i've been a prequel stannie basically from birth i wont allow former pt haters to jump on the bandwagon#you know how people who hated the amazing spider man films started being andrew garfield stans after nwh came out?#and ppl who were constantly shitting on rpatz for the cardinal sin of playing batman before a TRAILER was even released#suddenly became stannies once the film was released and was best batman film ever made?#and how ppl who were stannies from the beginning were like 'absolutely fucking not'?
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the-writing-mobster · 2 years ago
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I really do think it's high time I actually make an Author-Sona. I think mine would be pretty fuckin sick hahahaha
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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i do not like tumblr much anymore again :(( anyways important stuff in the tags! but tldr just hmu if you want my discord or twitter, won't be gone from here completely but yeah <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#rambled abt this on my sb but i will do so here as well!#anyways interaction is. absolute shit save for a few people whom i love but also#it's sad a lot are so inactive now it seems but yeah it's for numerous reasons ofc but also. in terms of thmblr interaction really#understandable! and rn this low interaction is .... the people i see quite often on dash literally never interact with my posts (it has#been literal months) and even when i was more active it would. also be that way#and it's just really disheartening even though i do things for myself first and foremost and i am not afraid to say i put myself#first before anybody else. it's just. disheartening and i do not enjoy my time on tumblr once again#and i hate twt but at the same time i love it and honestly interaction/algorithm is so much better#and it's thanks to the users as well! like yeah i don't get much interaction yet either but i know why that is#and i can help change that. with tumblr it's the fact that. it's just really like that and it fucking sucks#anyways if i disappear you know what's up bcs this site is. i love most of my mutuals but god it's so disheartening to be on here#so if any of you want my discord or twitter just hmu :] i won't be quitting this place but def will be much less active#it's so disheartening and especially disappointing that even if i take time to be interactive it often does not get uhh i do not get that#as well ... and theres a lot of factors in this all but yeah! love the people i still see interacting#even if it's not that much but some of y'all are active and just kinda. ignore shit fr.#you can do what you want but it feels... not nice considering yes and yes but in the end i'll just move to something better and leave them#behind ^^ </3#honestly this is only about you if i have not seen a single interaction in months and i often see you on dash#and i can understand why some people are like that esp if theyre neurodivergent but. man. it's just :')) fjbejfbskdn <//3#tbh i don't really hold anything against anyone but god idk maybe if its just that my timing is bad but things have been like this fo#pretty much a while even when inwas active and its really not that big of a deal but. i dont have the motivation to be here anymore#and that feels weird to me bcs it kind of basically just dropped from a steady high <//3#its funny bcs i cannot get angry at others SOBS and at the same tim i feel bad for feeling bad but i know its important tyeah#bcs ik that i should not feel bad but at the same time. hm#anyways i think i should learn to hmm ..... im a really grateful person but my sight when it comes to yes things is a bit bad so i will impr#improve on that!! in any case gah i should continue on hw soon#ALSO BTW i really dont hold anything against anyone and this is really just my general thoughts and feelings#so dont think too much of it bcs its not that deep but i do think it is serious#those are synonymous yeah bit im using them differently in a way i hope makes sense
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bistaxx · 3 years ago
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I'm not really good at this kinda stuff but I'm in a soff mood and wanna just say, this has been really fun! I've been in fandoms before but usually as a casual lurker, I have literally never engaged with a fandom like I have with this one and it's been a blast! There's been ups and downs of course like with any fandom, but I've met some of the nicest and funniest people here, I know I don't reach out and talk much but I appreciate you all especially those who've stuck around here for so long. I'm especially grateful for the people who reach out to me or who I speak to in discord or dm's, I'm sorry I'm not the most social person but I am always so appreciative of you guys reaching out to me, it means a lot! I hope I have made this time as pleasant for you guys as you have done for me! I'm here for the long haul with you.
Here's to hoping that when it all does finally come to close we can look back with a smile and happy two years dsmp ^_^!
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( lyrics from Stranded - Red Vox )
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redeemed-wren · 2 years ago
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I know it won't happen but if we're doing a Missy redemption arc I would love to see Nyssa come back. Or at least mentioned. Because out of ALL the Doctor's companions, the Master probably damaged Nyssa the most. He stole her father's face and used it, the man who murdered Nyssa's father took his very body and every time Nyssa saw him (and he was a pretty major villain in that era from memory) he looked like her dad.
And man if Missy is having a redemption arc which I am all for love me redemption arcs, I would so love what the Master did to Nyssa to be brought up. Because DANG that is lowkey one of the most messed up Doctor Who stories ngl poor Nyssa
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saintcarrionn · 3 years ago
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everything feels so much better round here now that ive unfollowed a load of blogs that were making me upset
#mutuals my beloveds this is not about you <3#just i used to follow some people with completely different ideas and opinions on some of my favourite shows#and it used to be nice to see different sides of the argument but recently they all got SERIOUSLY aggressive about hating my#favourite characters and hating people who LIKED my favourite characters (read: me) and also anyone who didn't like their faves#which. yknow. got a little exhausting.#it got to the point where tumblr was becoming a chore because every time i logged on there was more toxicity and hate on my dash#and it was just getting draining#because they also made other content i really did enjoy?? at the same time like there'd be a post hating on my side of fandom#and then right next to it a post about a specific thing i enjoyed#and it made me so FUCKING angry#you know?#like. it got to the point where i'd look at some of their posts and want to physically scream because they were just so AWFUL#like#i know i vaguepost about things (like this haha lol) and i thrive on fandom discourse and i love drama but at least i admit it you know#bc they'd be reblogging something hating on my ship/favourite character and then making posts about how toxic fandom is to them#and how they want certain shippers to literally die because 'they can't take it anymore' and like. no fucking WONDER???#you're literally CREATING the toxicity in this fandom why the fuck do you think people don't like your chosen fave???#ASDFGHJKLWVBM0KHJGASL it makes me want to BITE things#anyway.#anyway#yes this is about the teen wolf fandom. how did you guess.#ANYWAY#this is a rant in the tags type of day isn't it#i might delete this later bc fuck knows they'll find it
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1-800-i-ship-it · 4 years ago
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me: *trying to study and focus on being productive*
my brain: SO what about those gay idiots you ship...what iF....they...*daydreams about cute headcanons*
me: brain please
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lemonpoppyseeds · 3 years ago
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so apparently i am also cringey to my girlfriend in addition to gross and annoying
#she just saw a hulu thing i guess related to did or something and was like omg did is the newest trend#and she was talking about how it's super rare and that people on tumblr and tik tok are faking and doing it for attention#so i told her that i was concerned she would think i was cringey if i had such a disorder or something in that realm#and she immediately snapped that i definitely don't have that#she was like obvs you dissociate but i would notice if you had something like that#and we're just sitting here wanting to scream#so i told her that i do have something in that realm just maybe less severe or slightly different#and she was like well if you were diagnosed then maybe that's a different story being from a doctor#but until then i am just a cringey teen did trender#it feels like i am so annoying and embarrassing and tiring to be around#lately she makes me feel bad about myself mental health wise#and it only reinforces the pattern of partners leaving bc i am too mentally ill#and i am actually pretty tame since i am actively not engaging in self harm or my eating disorder or other substance abuse#and i work full time! something she can't do because of HER mental health!#i hate this so much#i hate that i always try so hard to be supportive and it feels like i never receive any of it back#and it makes me frustrated and be mean sometimes bc i am resentful that i don't feel the same support or gentleness#i just want someone to see i am not okay and still love me through it and also not judge me#instead i spend my time hiding and trying to be normal and trying to be the person who people come to for support#a part is screaming i just want to be loved and it feels like i was punched in the gut#ohhhh and this reminds me i also feel cringey for not caring about gender or i guess that's agender or whatever#and my gf finds nb/neogendery people to be trendy cringey and insufferable#so i guess i tip toe around it by being gnc and describing my preferences rather than identifying as agender#i need a hug#i need to go#i gotta run#ok bye now
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ohchilde · 3 years ago
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#also not me spilling my lifestory on mf tumblr#but i just need to get it off my chest#im so happy at the portrayals of dusik and hwajeong this episode like i was able to relate to them on so many levels#im genuinely not someone who can share about their struggles i genuinely cant talk about it its so difficult#im 23 years old and this sounds like a lie but i genuinely cannot remember the last time i spoke to anyone about my problems Or felt like#like i could#which is clearly why my mental health has spiralled to this point honestly i am fully aware that not allowing myself to believe that others#wont hate me after learning my ‘weaknesses’ is why im still wary of even my closest friends and does absolutely NOTHING for my mental health#do you know whats the worse part?? that i am also fully aware that my friends are frustrated with me as wel and wish i would open up to them#i cant describe how much Knowing that makes me feel like shit it makes you think What is wrong with me? and honestly its a neverending cycle#you just keep digging ur own grave deeper until you dont know how to get out anymore or that you even Can in the first place#my friends are nice about it tho theyre gently encouraging me to go for therapy But You Know Whats Sucks#therapy also means Talking and Telling someone of my problems and the fear of the therapist thinking im crazy is just the same#even though its ‘their job’ to ‘fix’ my way of thinking i Know this but it doesnt make it any easierrrr#the only reason im spilling in the tags like this is bc no one knows me here irl anyways u know??#i also relate to hwajeong bc guess whos dumb ass loved her best friend for almost an entire decade and both willingly And unwillingly let#him step all over her and made her feel like absolute shit 😋#i actually put my whole heart soul And back into our friendship to support him in every way i can#but it was only much later that i realised he never Reciprocated that kind of support back to me and long story short i felt like a whole#ass tool basically#one time i was so tired and at the point that i had No more feelings for him anymore that i told him off and said: You cant keep calling me#your best friend if you keep treating me like shit#smth like that anyways#u know what happened?? mf cried and went home and we stopped talking after that. like we’re friends again now but it is nothing like before#and i am content with that i guess. guess thats where hwajeong and i are a lil different#but those years where youre agonising over trying to figure out whether to love him still and believe he’ll learn to be better Or#hate him bc hes put you thru so much emotional pain?? an absolute mount everest climb . it really takes forever.#healing takes so fucking long and sometimes its easy to think you cant ever heal from some demons#i just truly appreciate ep 14 of homecha bc it genuinely makes me think that like. im not completely crazy. you know?? ugh i dont know
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haniehae-archive · 4 years ago
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:(
#tw: negativity#hmm how do I say this#tumblr is either the place I love and hate the most..#I love being in here because is the only place I feel comfortable talking about whta I like and posting my stuff#but at the same time is the place that makes me feel more insecure about myself#there’s not one day that I log in here that I don’t feel like I’m not enough or that I’m just annoying#I can help but feel envious of everyone interacting and posting their amazing creations#while I’m just here being this invisible person who thinks is too annoying to interact with anyone...#*sistah if you’re reading this I’m sorry but I have to let it out*#having you here just made everything worse#because I’ve always compared myself to you.. feeling like I’m always behind you#and seeing how easily you interact with everyone and how fast you got into this side of tumblr#makes me feel horrible like I’ll never be able to belike you#and I hate to feel like this because I love to have you here with me....#and I also hate doing this kind of post because it seems like I’m looking for attention#which is not my intention at all! I just really need somewhere to rant and this is the only place I feel comfortable to do this#and I feel like the more I post this lind of stuff more people would dislike me..#I often think people just interact with me out of pity...#I thought several times about leaving tumblr... but as I said before this is the only place I feel comfortable sharing the things I like...#I’ve tried to interact more with people but I’m just this introvert n insecure girl that panics every time someones interacts back#honestly#I don’t even know what I’m talking abt anymore..... this is just me overthinking again...#sorry this just went all over the place kk#oh also genuine question for the people that read until now kk I’ve been thinking about remaking this blog..#to clean old posts and old followers that might be inactive now..#is it a good idea or it is stupid??#okay I think I’ve talked to much already.... and guys don’t worry this feeling will probably be gone by tomorrow....#good night#anna.txt#midnight thoughts
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bunkernine · 5 years ago
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oh man those tags legit made me think you were leaving. i was so sad! ur like my favourite blog/author!
at first it started out as a joke, and then i did some real reflecting about it. i was registering about the # of fics i have (almost 60 tagged with vg naturally), and like gifts given/recieved, and my nonsense unfinished series, and what ive been doing for the past few years. a lot of the things i did in 2014 (and before) are completely different, and im happy to see how much that has changed. in 2014, i didnt think i would ever be someone involved in fandom, so its surprising to look back on it all 😅
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my ao3 bio always has a goal for valgrace, and right now it says to reach 300 (we're only a few short!!!) and that goal has changed a lot over the past few years. it used to say 200, then 250. kinda crazy to see that happen, and i love the progress. my first fic (not on ao3 because 😬) said something about how i thought vg was kinda good and LMAO look at where we are today. but yeah, that goal of 300 is def gonna change to 350, and im gonna stick through đŸ˜€đŸ˜€đŸ˜€. everyone hates leo and thinks jason's boring and im here to clown/defend them!!! 💕
anyway, it was just me rambling. ive thought about moving more seriously into another fandom but always failed to, 'cause as gross as pjo can be, you guys are so wild. literally its like being in hell sometimes but i keep coming back for reasons i do not know 😭 call me nico cause i be dead inside but still sticking around 😎
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#okay so like agshhdbsjsjs YOURE MY FAV???? stopppppp#i just think a lot sometimes. haha my mind bounces betwen SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO *guitar*#mmm i cant leave anyway because the adaption and theres always time to talk shit about annabelle and defend leo!!!#mmm what brought it up was someone following me but didnt even realize i was into vg which is the FUNNIEST thing ever. like sir. r u ok?#the illiteracy in pjo is outstanding 💀😭 rick's writing made you guys forget how to read and thats so funny#what was i talking about fuck shdhdhbd um#wow i forgot and tumblr mobile sucks but basically im here to stay 😈 someones gotta support mayo and fire boy đŸ˜©#also whatever other nonsense i talk about. sometimes i do other things but idk. um.#im thinking now that i just wrote a ling response to a question that wasnt asked in the first place. ngl it was just me reassuring myself#damn am i the only one who reads ao3 bios? sometimes theyre really interesting. lol. and 💀 i forgot i went through so many names#um where was i going with this. i just spent 30 secs staring at the screenshots and lost my train of thought#but yeah thats me reflecting and stuff 😌😌😌 im appreciating myself!!! half of my gifts are from me cause im the one who matters 💖#mmm it gets tough sometimes because my brain is shit and i cant focus so staying in pjo this long is really strange for me#i can only reread the same fics for so long đŸ˜©đŸ˜©đŸ˜© i reread my own fics and hate half of them but the rest are AMAZING 😂 love myself haha#okay i REALLY dont know know where this is going so im going to stop lmaooo#mairĂ©ad đŸ„ș#!!!!!!!!💖💖💖💖#askingasks
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loeybeans1 · 5 years ago
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tw // negative
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tasedandconfused · 6 years ago
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“M/cu is eart/h 6/16″ I know M/ysterio is apparently the one who said it so it’s probably a load of shit but like, if 6/16 Cap saw M/cu cap he’d beat the shit out of him I’m js, but he’d also beat the fuck out of the r/ussos for disrespecting the love of his life sh/aron c/arter. 
Also note there’s e/ndgame spoilers in the tags, I’m just not tagging it until later in the tags and idk where the cutoff point is in the new tag system ,
#out.#should I be making icons? yes#am i making icons? no#does m/arvel continue to disappoint but not surprise me?#6/16 cap would see m/cu cap and just like#'you???? tried to kill t/ony???? you??? are in love w p/eggy???? you??? ditched your friends to go back in time??? who r u'#endgame spoilers#in the tags at least#nat is NOTHING like 61/6 nat but like who's surprised feige has been refusing to incorporate her actual fucking storyline this whole time#she's supposed to be JUST as strong as s/teve and b/ucky and the ONLY person who ACTUALLY knows everything Bucky's been through BECAUSE she#lived through a great deal of the same shit#i can't even try to go into hawkeye thats just#I still like a few of the movies don't get me wrong but like#i'm not 'hating' or whatever the cool kids call it now#but like the decision makers of d/isney need to rethink their life choices#also can tumblr stop reccing fucking incesty got fanart in my sidebar that's getting really annoying#tbd#probably#again I know mysterio is a huge fucking liar I used to be a huge spiderman fan but like#knowing the execs they might just 'forget' he's a huge liar and have his 'life' be a truth too#bc 'whos gonna know the difference'#as if nobody catches all their mistakes#I've only nitpicked a handful okay some of the really intense ppl I follow on my personal go extremely deep into it#marvel vent#marvel rant#marvel wank#616 steve is actually probably still too classy to just go and beat the shit out of mcu steve tho#he'd assume it's some cracked out daydream#616 steve would have seen tony w the gauntlet and rushed in to grab his arm don't even kid yourselves#or have just taken the gauntlet himself because he's not a self centered dickbag
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indouloureux · 2 years ago
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ㅀㅀㅀㅀㅀㅀ 𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘
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summary: your best-friend’s pretty. really fucking pretty. especially when he’s got his eyeliner smudged all over his eyes from crying too much, or when he’s got scratch marks over his inked skin, or when his begging moans make him hotter than hellfire
warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI. 8k filth, sub!eddie kinda, mommy kink, overstimulation, protected sex, oral (m receiving), degradation kink(slut, whore), dirty talk, dacryphilia, biting, ball sucking (hehe), praise kink, maybe mean!dom reader, rough sex, aftercare??? multiple orgasms lol MINORS GO AWAY (not proofread. rushed)
a/n: idk man, this took a long time to write for some reason but i hope you guys like this because it took a long time okay! and ball sucking. tumblr got me horny for eddie munson's ballsack so i put it in here. enjoy. also thank u for 4k mwah mwah i love u all!
— proofread by my mi amor jess <3 (@cordiformity)
MASTERLIST
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The sound of the car turning on makes the both of you raise your hands in a farewell, Wayne Munson’s silhouette inside the tinted window waves back at you and Eddie, pulling out of the driveway, wheels scraping on the gravel road outside of your home.
“Bye, Uncle Wayne!” you yell, hands cupping your mouth for a better volume. Eddie waves still, arm stretched out in the hot air, rings clinking and glinting in the hot sun as he hovers you. “I’ll miss you! You’re the better Munson!”
“Asshole,” Eddie jabs your ribs. You poke your tongue at him, turning around to go back inside your home, a hand hovering behind you as he leads you through the door before he follows and shuts it behind him. “You invite me over and you’re saying I’m the worse Munson?”
“I’m basing off the truth, dungeon master,” you bump your hips with his, leading him to the stairs. His dirty sneakers thump on the creaking stairwell, hand dragging up the rail as you look back at him. “Who’s got the working car? Who’s got better morale?”
You sigh in contentment, feeling the cold air blow the sweat off your bodies in a strong surge. Eddie wipes the sticking hair off his forehead, eyes lazily watching you sit in front of him on the broken chair, legs spread. 
You sigh in contentment, feeling the cold air blow the sweat off your bodies in a strong surge. Eddie wipes the sticking hair off his forehead, eyes lazily watching you sit in front of him on the broken chair, legs spread. 
You sigh in contentment, feeling the cold air blow the sweat off your bodies in a strong surge. Eddie wipes the sticking hair off his forehead, eyes lazily watching you sit in front of him on the broken chair, legs spread. 
“Alright, Eds.” You offer your hand, rings shown that matched his – the same skull on your ring finger, a snake coiled around the middle, and a daintier one connected to your bracelet through a chain. He vaguely remembers being with you when you bought it, having to be too distracted with something else he also can’t remember. “Whip it out and let’s suck.”
Almost fooled by your racy insinuation, Eddie lifts his ass up and searches for the ziplock in his pocket, tongue massaging his upper teeth as he pulls the plastic out and shows you what you’re asking for. “You’re still paying for that.”
You scoff, snatching it from him before you pull out a crumpled twenty from your pocket. “You know I always do.”
“You always do?” he sits up, forearms behind him. Eddie’s curls loose the sticky perspiration, now flowing behind him when he shakes his head at you. You slap the bill on his palm. “(y/n), you owe me like, fifty bucks. Minus ten because you beat that sicko from the band auditions.”
“It was supposed to be a gift,” you whine, throwing your head back. “I thought we were friends, Eddie?”
“We are,” he kicks his shoes off, and he half thinks he might have already lost them in the pile of clothes. “But I need money, too. No money, and we spend the rest of our life being driven back and forth by my uncle. And you know he hates it when we smoke.”
“Which is why I keep on telling you to convince him to smoke weed,” you open your drawer. “That way you can at least emancipate the stress you give him,” you jest, searching beneath used notebooks until you spot a crutch. “I- fuck I kind of forgot how to roll a joint. Can you do it?”
Eddie sniffs, side of his finger rubbing his nostrils. “You’re gonna do it now? That’s like, a half ounce. You finish it way faster than I do,” he sits up. “Just smoke a cig with me instead.”
Your hands drop to your sides, giving him a dismayed look before you’re opening the drawer once more and tossing the ziplock and clutch back inside, making sure it’s hidden beneath a notebook.
“I’d rather not,” you slump your head on the table. “I wanna get high. That’s why I invited you here in the first place.”
Eddie huffs. “That’s the third time you’ve hurt me, (y/n).”
He sits up, the veins on his forearm catching your attention. Tendrils bulging against the tattoo on his skin, blood pumping in the same beat your heart does as you stare at them with a watering mouth before they drive down to his clenching hands that reach for the boombox, toying with the antennas before Eddie looks at you.
“You still got the tapes? Or you sold them just to pay me?” he snickers, kicking your foot. You sneer at him, kicking him much harder that simulates a groan from him. “Please tell me you have at least Judas Priest in there. I’ve had enough listening to a-ha. I have the lyrics stuck in my head that I forgot the chords to Master Of Muppets.” You glare at him. “You know? Take on meeee
?”
“Yeah. I know what that song is,” While eyes impishly glare at him, you reach for the bag beneath your desk, black almost gray from the specks of dust surrounding it. Eddie watches your hand dig into the filthy bag, looking as if you’re carding through a literal trash can before you pull out three mixtapes that he gave you a couple months ago, Kate Bush and Foreigner falling to the ground as you pull them up.
“Blizzard of Ozz,” you smack the cassette in Eddie’s open palm, a stinging clap echoing around the corners of your small bedroom. “For the one and only Osbourne wannabe.”
“Kate Bush, huh?” Eddie opens the cassette player, shoving the tape carelessly inside. “Red tell ya to listen to it?” he asks, slamming the cassette holder shut and turns the volume louder, like you hadn’t received complaints from the loud ‘satanic’ music; you don’t care, anyway, it’s music nonetheless. Your friend spins in a riveting twirl, hair spinning cavalierly into the air-conditioned wind, before he stops to face you with a thespian look, mouthing the lyrics.
You yell over the music. “Max says she could change the world!”
Eddie snorts. “People look at me and say ‘is the end near, when is the final day?’” He takes a brush from your cup holder, holding it like a microphone. You guffaw at him, watching as a hand comes down to his chest before he runs around your room, stepping on the discarded clothes and crumpled papers on the ground. “What’s the future of mankind? How do I know, I got left behind.”
“Hey!” you shout at him through the zeitgestical piece of joint electrical guitars and drums, his feet taking him to your mattress sunken, exhorting him to jump up and down like a giddy child. “Get down!”
“Come on, bats,” his hand’s still up as an offer. “Ozzy wannabe wants to make the most metal concert ever inside your garbage bedroom.” Eddie air guitars like a loser, fingers mimicking the same chords of the song and imitating riffs as if he was in a metal concert. “Don’t just sit in the crowd. Be a part of the show.”
“Do you often say that to five drunks?” you quip. “I’d rather stay here than break my neck, Eddie.”
“Fine,” he jumps off, landing right on his feet where you see his left one bending the slightest at the hard impact. His inept body refuses him to sit still, and is now telling him to touch the items on your desk as you sit and watch him poke and prod like he’s shopping. “Let’s do something else that doesn’t make you so boring.”
“I’m not boring!” you exclaim, gawping at him. “I’m fun! Sorry for making sure you don’t die in my bedroom. Because if you did, I’d leave you here to rot with the rest of my clothes. Then I’ll steal your car and drive away to California.”
“You just worry too much,” Eddie pulls on your hand, indolently limp in his touch. “Sing with me, bats. Ozzy Osbourne awaits.” when you shake your head, he sighs disappointedly; almost in a way that’s so dramatic that you think he’s not actually sad about your refusal. “Alright. Then, let’s do something that you think is fun other than using me for getting high.”
You pout at him, now clasping at his forearm for forgiveness. “Aw. Eds, I don’t use you. You’re my best friend.”
Best friend.
Two words that compress his chest so tight he feels the pain ricocheting in his inked limbs. Eddie plasters this pain he doesn’t know why he feels when you call him your best friend by a short laugh, biting his bottom lip. “Yeah yeah. Think of something before I go find somewhere else fun.”
“Don’t you just wanna lay down beside me while we listen to Ozzy Osbourne? You used to do that!”
“Bats,” he bends, face leveled with yours as his lips disappear into his mouth, forming a straight line. “I’m extremely bored without my van. I need to do something before I lose my mind entirely. I mean, you wouldn’t like seeing me—” his fingers join together, both hands placing them on either side of his head before he mimics the sound of an explosion, fingers splaying apart. “—all bloody and open headed, right? I could just drop my blood down to your carpet. Or, well, what used to be a carpet.”
You kick a few items away to show your dark cerulean carpet. Eddie’s upper lip curls up in slight disgust. “The color’s always
like that.” you wave it off. “I clean it like, once a year? I dunno. I’ll clean up my shit after you leave.”
“You should,” he scratches the back of his neck. “Now find something interesting to do.”
“Fine,” you grunt. “I have something in mind. But if you don’t want to do it, then it’s your loss.”
-
In the last seven years of your friendship, not once have you imagined sitting on Eddie Munson’s lap. 
Sure. Maybe you’ve hugged. But it’s just a hug. All friends do that. Friends snuggle when they’re stoned, they kiss each other’s cheeks as a rushed farewell. Maybe talking about masturbation was another thing but it was normal. You’ve seen each other half-naked — he helped you pick your bra before a date, and you got him a decent pair of underwear before girls would blow him. It’s a normal best friend thing.
Sitting on each other’s lap? It’s become romanticized in cheesy rom coms. And you see its point. With the minimal space between your bodies, crotches almost on top of each other, and the air so thick with unearthed tension that you’re wary and nervous at every move you do.
The liquid kohl paints his pale skin, a flawed darkness that mends conveniently into his eccentric vogue that he possesses valiantly with pride. Eddie’s eyes bore into you, scanning each pore, or the light hair above your top lip. Mostly into your eyes that don’t directly look into his — the way your pupils dilate and shrink every so often; and sometimes he’d cheekily glance down your lips, where the tip of your tongue would poke out, which gallops his blood all over his body into an intense heat. And fuck, how long is this going to take?
His hands grasp your waist tightly, keeping you in place. Your thigh on his, drawing around his vast eyes that perceive. Ozzy Osbourne sings from the mixtape Eddie changed—your mixtape that he made for you, a mechanized voice bringing you into the stage instead of the crowd — makes you feel like you’re in a show playing house with your best friend. It makes Eddie squirm gently in his seat, almost letting you muck up what you’ve done.
“Sit still,” your hand grips his cheeks, harshly forcing him into looking at you and keeping his face pliant beneath your touch, making his lips pucker a little. “You’re gonna make me mess up.”
“Sorry,” he chuckles. “It kinda tickles.”
“The brush?”
“Yeah,” his nails scratch your back slightly. “It’s like a feather touching my eyes or something. How long is this going to take?”
Eddie sees your eyebrows furrow in slight frustration at his impatience, your hand shaking in the slightest. “Almost done, Munson.” you mutter, lips parting the slightest that shows just a sliver of your pearls.
The situation is familiar, albeit it’s not him that you’re sitting on. Eddie’s mind varies through a manifold of haunting memories, until it settles on the one that bestows him a roll of undefined covetousness. It makes him grip your waist tighter as the memory of you sitting on another boy’s lap fills his mind, in this exact activity. Eddie feels this confusing jealousy run through him when he remembers you kissing that boy with his eyeliner all smudged up.
You sense his sudden rigidness, the hitching on his breath. “What’s wrong?” you murmur, brush stopping on the outer corner of his eye. 
“Nothing,” he widens his eyes a bit. “Just
remembered something.”
“What is it?”
He watches you move again, feeling the cold brush on the crinkles beside his eyes, curving upward. “When- when you and Harrison Mcline were in the back of the classroom making out,” he laughs gently. “You were putting eyeliner on him too for the school play. He looked a lot like David Bowie with it, though. But I bet I look way cooler than him.”
Scoffing, you shake your head. “Harrison Mcline is a douchebag,” you claim, nail digging deep into his cheek he thinks he’ll see a crescent indent on his flesh. Eddie looks into your eyes, full of annoyance at the sudden memory, before it shifts into embarrassment. “He’s an arrogant dickhead who trusts his pulling out ‘skills’ and kept insisting he was allergic to condoms just so he could fuck me raw. And also, you do look better.”
Heat waves through his cheeks and ears as Eddie laughs out of sympathy, but mostly to make fun of your unfortunate encounter. “Told you you shouldn't have gone for him. You’re planning on fucking Mcline? Cheer squad says he’s got a dick the size of an eraser.” 
“Well, it’s not like I have any options, do we?” you snicker, brushing his eyelashes with the side of your finger before you’re back to painting the inner corner of his eye, tainting his opal skin black. “What goody-two-shoes of a man would want to fuck a girl who’s part of the ‘satanic panic’?” you wave your hand to gesture to yourself. “And I did not know that.”
“Jason Carver’s been eyein’ you lately,” he teases, eyebrows wiggling the slightest. “As well as Steve Harrington when we’d rent a shitty movie. Even Gareth!”
“Jason Carver is with Chrissy Cunningham, and he keeps on insisting that this whole metal thing is just a phase. Steve Harrington only eyes me because I’m with you. And I’m older than Gareth! It’s disgusting, he’s like my little brother.” you tilt your head at him, Eddie wincing at your thoughts about your friend. “This pious town doesn’t fuck with, and I quote, cult members. I can't even find a decent one out there.”
In a drunken momentum, his eyes trace the v-shaped column of your neck that connects to your collarbone, prominent as his irises desecrate the components of every imperfection on your skin, minus the tattoos — the unorthodox stygian tattoos so unsaint, skulls and horns sinking deep into your flesh you might as well be the Devil’s little wayward angel. The hand behind you traces the waistline of your jeans, feeling your skin that’s exposed when your shirt has risen up from your back being slouched to hover over his head. 
Eddie kicks a shirt out of his way — a cut tank top with the painted devil from the Hellfire Shirt to appear more punk (one he remembers you wore when you snuck into the community pool, jumping into the chlorine water with nothing but that shirt and a pair of denim shorts, gave him a goddamn boner when your bare tits poked out). “There’s some decent guys out there.”
He wants to say ‘me’, however not in an amorous way. Simply the mind that hasn't seen any cunt for the past month, and he’s desperate to the point he’d literally fuck his best friend. But maybe hidden beneath that word could mean something deeper, something he’s chosen to deny and decides to forget about. Eddie knows it’s wrong; to imagine you, his dear friend for ozzy knows how long, all bent and spread for him to fuck because he’s horny. But who wouldn't? 
“Easy for you to say,” you scoff. “You almost fucked that mom from the community pool back summer. And that junkie who blew you when she came to your show and thought a blowjob was enough of a payment for weed.” He feels the rough pad of your thumb rub a spot beside his eye, stinging slightly. 
“She gives really good head,” he nods slightly. “ ‘m just saying, sweetheart. You just need to look hard.”
“Oh yeah?” you take your eyeliner away from his eyes, snapping the cap back in place before your hands rest on his shoulders. “Like you? Because I think that your little friend—”
Your finger drags down his chest, movement sedated and teasing, nail scraping on the printed typography before they press deep into the thick flesh of his torso, trailing down like you’re exploring uncharted territories. They come across his thighs, hard and thick, short nails scratching the denim before you tease and sink deeper, feeling up the sudden rock in his pants that presses right onto your crotch.
Eddie blames you for the hard on in, had you not been subtly grinding on it for the past minute or so when you were applying eyeliner, acting nonchalantly when he felt so constrained in his tight jeans. His bottom lip feels so raw from all the biting he’s done just to not moan out loud. And it feels sick — perverted — to have a boner when your best friend sits on your lap.
“—kind of agrees with me,” you trace his bulge, unevenly round and thick, your hand wanting to squeeze but you spare him the insanity. “He’s been poking out ever since I sat on your lap. I think he wants you to say that you need some help.”
“And I think I’m the only one who can know what my dick says,” he sneers, his hand coming out from behind you to grasp your forearm and run his thumb on the inked bats on your skin. “And he says he’s perfectly fine staying inside until he gets home and feels the love of my hand.”
You tut, pouting as you brush the hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ears, bangs unruly on his forehead that it almost pokes his pretty eyes. “Shame,” you pop the eyeliner back on your cup, chastely placing your hands on his shoulders instead. “Would have been happy to help.”
His saliva sticks to the walls of his throat, blocking the next words from coming out because holy fucking shit, you’re flirting with him. Or he thinks you’re flirting with him. Because friends don’t flirt, right? Best friends, as you so proudly say to others. Best friends don’t flirt, or offer to get rid of someone’s fucking boner; he shouldn’t feel this proverbial hunger towards you, like the words that had rolled off your tongue was a drop of water that rolls down his throat, still leaving him thirsty.
“Tsk,” he chuckles dryly, palms running up and down your bare thighs. You expected him to say something else, but it seemed like he’s at a loss for words whenever you graze his bulge when you adjust your seat to remove the numbness of your calf. You feel like the senile chair would snap it legs and drop you into this void of just him and you, left alone to be stubborn and in denial. 
“I could, though,” you murmur, fingers grazing his slightly coarse hair. “I can h-help you. With your problem. I don’t mind.”
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie sighs heavily, his hot breath fanning your face. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re forced to just because I got a boner while you’re on top of me.”
“It’s not that,” you grip his shoulders tightly, trying to stop yourself from grinding again. Because god, fuck, if you had a dick of your own, you’d be as hard as him. “It’s just a friendly offer. Both of us hadn’t had fuck since last month and, well, we’re here now, are we? Might as well just
get on with it.”
It’s atrociously fun, your offer. Because even though you’d agree to forget about it in the end, both of you would certainly not forget about it. Eddie knows nothing would be the same if he agreed, if he acted like he’s wanted to fuck you for ages. You’d know with the way he’d act, with the way he speaks, that he’s always yearned for it, and he’s afraid it would cause a strain to your friendship. But fuck—you’re offering it yourself; and he’d cut his own dick off if he ever denied the chance. 
Giving in into having sex with you just because he hasn’t had a decent fuck in a while? Was it selfish, maybe, even if he knows it’s going to change everything. But hey, the chance is right in front of him.
Eddie’s silence deludes you into thinking that he might have been disgusted by your offer. You don’t see the way his pupils widen and shrink ever so often, and it makes you remove your hands from his shoulders and sigh. “You know what? Forget about it. I don’t even know why I said that,”
“Hey,” he reaches out to clasp your wrist when you stand up to leave. Your right leg’s on the ground, the other still bent beside his thigh. Eddie looks up at you with unsure eyes, thumb running along your pulse point. “I was
going to say why not.”
Your lips part. “Really?”
“Yeah,” his eyebrows furrow and his nose wrinkles as he says it, urging you to sit back on his lap by the gentle pull on your hand. “I mean, you know, it’s just a one time thing, right? We can- we can act like it never happened after. Unless, you don’t want to.”
You don’t know if he’s saying all of that to spare your feelings, or if he wants the same thing you do—being fuck buddies, and whatnot, until you’d both come to terms that you actually like each other. But maybe that’s just your fantasy that he felt the same way you did, and that Eddie’s only saying yes because he’s just as deprived as you are.
“We don’t have to think about that now,” you sit gently on his thighs. The hand that he doesn’t hold tugs on the thread hanging on the bottom of your shirt, fingers twirling and pulling slightly. “We can just have sex. Then, let’s think about it after. That way we can see if- we can continue it or
not.”
Eddie’s looking directly into your eyes, right where you can see the specks of concupiscent dust glaze his brown eyes. And somehow, your faces are so close yet so far, with the way you feel the very tips of his eyelashes graze your cheeks ever so softly when he blinks. 
“Great idea,” he says. And his hand hovers like he debates on cupping your face or holding your waist again. 
“You can hold me,” you take his hands, placing them on your waist. “I’m not gonna bite,”
“Oh, I know you won’t,” he chuckles, sighing deeply when you bite your lip. “‘Y too soft to bite.”
You pull away, though still your faces are still close. Eddie’s bemused by the incredulity on your face, the way your parted lips etch into a feigned offended smile. “I’m too soft to bite?” you repeat, nails scraping on his exposed arms before you suddenly tangle your hand in his hair and pull harshly; lo and behold, he whimpers. “Aw, look at that. He made a sound.”
“That’s because it hurt,” he snaps, chest heaving against yours. “How would you react when I pull on your hair?”
“The same thing,” your other hand pushes his hair behind his ear, pouting at him. “I would have moaned like you did,”
Eddie’s nostrils flare, eyes darkening. “Fuck you.”
Leaning in to whisper in his ear, you tug on his hair again and fuck, he whimpers. “No, I fuck you.” Your nails scrape his scalp, Eddie digging his own at your skin. “What, you think just because I offered I’d let you use me? That’s not how it works, sweetie.”
You pull back, your hand still in his hair before you lean in to kiss him hard on his chapped lips. 
It’s sultry, in that exchange of hot breaths between open mouths and teeth clashing. Eddie grunts against you when you coincide with your hip rolling each time your lips close around his. Judas Priest replaces Ozzy Osbourne’s yelling rasps, Love Bites deep thrumming like the chime of a bell cascades the ambience of the moment. You’re bold when your tongue slips past his lips to tackle his, sinking deeper that your nose bends on his cheek.
It’s new and it’s scary to kiss your best friend with the crisp trepidation of the future of your friendship. Because yeah, a simple kiss can change everything. It’s not chaste, it’s not for comfort, it’s not by accident; you’d both agreed to it, and it's unbeknownst to the both of you what the kiss truly meant to either of you. It’s driving you insane.
Your mind buzzes in delirium as you feel his shirt, wrinkles and damp from the sweat. He’s humming and he’s grunting with the wet clicks of your rapacious lips. And Eddie’s had enough, his hands coming down to grip the back of your thighs tightly, standing up from the chair and wrapping your legs around his waist. You fall heavily with him, your back landing on your crumpled sheets, his crotch immediately grinding against yours like a payback.
You moan, tugging on the hair on the nape of his neck. “Fuck,”
“What’s that, bats?” he taunts. “You fuck me? Say it again, sweetheart,” he rolls his hips deeper, bulge pressing right on you. “Say it. That you’ll fuck me. If you can, I’ll let you. If you don’t,” Eddie bites gently at your bottom lip, letting it go and watches as it pops right back. “Guess I'll have to be in control.”
Unpleased by his teasing, you push on his shoulders. Eddie falls back, body pinned to the mattress when you straddle his stomach, your hands gripping his wrists. “I fuck you,” you repeat, jaw clenching. “I’m in charge, you hear me?”
You don’t wait for his answer, because your hands are bringing themselves down to tug on his collar, pulling them apart until the weak shirt rips in half. Eddie’s eyes widen at the rip, lifting his head to press his chin on his neck as he looks at your damage. He laughs. “You’re lucky that wasn’t my favorite shirt,”
“I can get you a new one,” you say quickly, placing your palms beneath his chest to admire the tattoos on his fair skin. You lean back down to kiss him on his lips, gently this time, before you drag your lips down to his red cheeks, to his jawline where the faintest of a stubble begins to grow. Eddie exhales, the faint touch of your finger enough to send heat all over his chest. The Demon stares directly at you when you scrape your nails on the black art, punishing and guiding. “This still creeps me out, by the way,”
Eddie looks at the tattoo, frowning. “It’s still cool,”
His eyeliner smudges a little, making his eyes almost caliginous in his own wanton abyss. You press your lips right on the tattoo, coming down to teasingly nip at his nipple before your hands cup his pecs. And you grind on him again, your ass on his crotch and your covered cunt on the flat of his stomach as you let your hand drive up to splay across his chest. 
“Christ, (y/n),” he groans impatiently. “Stop fucking dry humping me.”
“Yeah, well, what is it, Eddie?” you cock your head at him. “Who are you telling that to, hm? Christ or me?”
He sits up, hips jutting to yours that elicits a hushed moan from you. Eddie’s hands prop him up from behind, leaning up to kiss you feverishly again. “You,” he answers, shaking his head at you. “But I think (y/n)’s too formal. ‘Bats’ is too sentimental. I like to
spice things up. There’s a reason why I never call you by your name during DnD, sweets,” he lets one hand go, taking your cheek into his palm. “Whatcha say? Let’s try something new other than bats. Like
like mommy.”
Your rutting slows down a bit, uneven by surprise. You turn your head to him, and he almost comes undone with the way your eyes almost blacken by the dilation of your pupils—the way little glints of arousal light your eyes. Eddie bites his lip when the hand beneath his collarbone nears his neck until you're digging your fingers on either side of his neck. 
“Mommy, huh?” you deride. “I like the sound of that,” you bounce lightly, and you smile when he moans lowly. “You gonna let mommy do whatever she wants? Because I think it was fucking filthy of you to get a boner when I was on your lap,” Eddie lays back down, his hands gripping your ass. “And mommy wants to punish you for a bit, is that alright?”
He nods. “Y-yes.”
You crawl down slowly. “Yes what?”
Eddie whines softly, his palm resting on the thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead. “Yes mommy.” he grunts. “Still gonna call you bats, though. Feels uncanny,”
“Commit to it,” you unbuckle his jeans, handcuffs clicking as you do so. “Don’t be shy and naughty, Eddie. You wanted it.”
He lifts up, helping you tug his jeans down. Eddie could care less if you lose his jeans in the pile of clothes on the ground, because you’re beneath him. You’re not exactly kneeling—a sight he’d kill for—but seeing your face hovering over his cock hidden by his briefs was enough to make his mouth water and suppress a loud moan. Eddie breathes heavily when you press a kiss on top of his bulge, looking so cherubic and innocent it’s driving him insane.
Now you are mine, In my control. One taste of your life, and I own your soul
You sing it against him, exhaling at each worth that your hot breath makes him jolt. Eddie whines, looking down at you to see that you’re hooking your fingers on the band of his briefs, tugging them down until his feet slip past the holes and you’re throwing it aside. 
Amused by the sight of your tongue licking your lips at the sight of his hard cock slapping against his happy trail, a glob of precum leaking down to land on the coarse hair above his dick. Eddie’s hand comes down to brush your hair out of your face. “‘S not fair that I’m naked and you’re still clothed.”
“Patience,” you scoff, leaning back to shed your shirt. You shiver when your bare tits feel the air conditioned air nip at your exposed nipples, but you smirk when Eddie gawps at the sight of you being bare chested and kneeling at the end of your bed right in front of his cock. 
Not once did he imagine the sound of a zipper going down could excite him this much, but fuck, your removing your shorts and tossing it at him. Eddie catches it, shamelessly bunching it up in his fist and digging his nose into the crutch point, where he whiffs at the faint scent of your arousal.
“I can imagine just how wet you are,” he throws it aside. “I can fucking smell it on your shorts.”
You’re standing up, right where the exploration of his eyes land on the black lace that covers you, shows well your bumps and the askew imperfections on your thighs. Its floral folderol craves him for the exposure, and it has him tracing the other integrants of you—the matching bat tattoos on your forearm that you’ve both gotten when you turned 18, your Cockatrice dragon to his Wyvern on your other arm; your own demon on your waistline inspired by Gene Simmons, the coiling snake beneath your right breast, and a bell right between your collarbones. It makes Eddie sit up.
“That’s new,” he points to the black bell. “When’d you get that?”
“Last week,” you drag your finger across it. “Metallica’s growing on me.”
For Whom The Bell Tolls. That’s hot.
Eddie bites his lip when you sway your hips side to side as you leisurely get rid of your black lace, your head lifting to gaze coquettishly at him. “Wanna know how wet mommy got, Eddie?” you hum. He nods his head, muttering a low fuck yeah, his lips all swollen from the lip biting that he eases the pain by licking his lips. 
His cock throbs at the bare sight of your cunt, not fully exposed but he sees the small triangular bush on top. Eddie stops himself from touching his length right there and then as the lace slips past your knees and soon your feet, tossing it at his face that he clumsily catches. You gasp when he sniffs every inch of it, licking the crotch with the flat of his tongue before he’s flinging it somewhere in a corner.
“Smell good, bats,” Eddie growls. “Fucking delectable.”
You come back to kneel at the end of the bed, right between his legs before you're laying on your stomach. Eddie watches with a parted mouth as you trail kisses up his thigh. And you waste no time to spit on your hand and wrap your hand around his shaft, pumping him in an adagio manner. He lets out a moanish sigh, taking two pillows to rest his head all while he watches you tease him.
“Think you deserve my mouth?” you drawl, biting gently at the fat of his thigh. “Tell me, Eddie. Do you deserve mommy’s cock? After being so naughty? I wonder what other girls would think of you having a boner when you sit on their lap. ‘S like you’re a poor little virgin.”
Your thumb traces the slit of the bulging mushroom head, and it’s taking all of his strength not to thrust up. Your touch is burning, only on his cock but felt tactile like the blaze spreads through his veins like a wildfire. Eddie whines. “Please,” he begs. “I’ve been good, mommy. Jus’ couldn’t help it. You looked hot.” you look up at him. “So fucking sexy sitting on my lap, bats.”
Giggling, you shake your head and press a short kiss on his tip. “You’re lucky flattery works with me.” 
A loud moan, louder than Rob Haldford, leaves Eddie’s valiant mouth when you sink your head down his cock, your throat opening to welcome his tip that gags you, your nose grazing the bush of curls. It was a sudden suck, the way your cheeks enclose greedily around his length that makes his legs shake. His fists curl your sheets as you begin to bob your head.
You slap his hand away when it comes down to the back of your head, pulling out and squeezing his shaft. “Keep your hands to yourself, slut. And stay still. If you so much as thrust up my face without my permission, I’m leaving you here all wet with your balls blue.”
He definitely almost came. “Fuck. I’m sorry, m-mommy.”
When you take him into your mouth again with glaring eyes, Eddie thinks of the other girls—a wrong moment to do so, but he remembers how incompetend they were at making him feel so good by the simple touch on his dick. They didn’t send shivers up his spine, they didn’t bear the same dominancy you did; didn’t make him submit indigently the way you made him to. He’s never felt this good in a long time, and it’s just your fucking mouth around him.
“Your cock’s so big, Eddie,” you press your palm on the vein beneath his shaft, kitten licking his tip. “Taste so fucking good, too.” like the way I imagined, you almost say. But you don’t want him to know that; it’s embarrassing to make him think that you’d hump a pillow and imagine fucking his face. 
“Feels s-sooo fucking good—shit
bats,” he pants. You close your lips around his helmet, hand on his shaft pumping him as you bob your head around his tip but never fully taking him into your mouth. The feeling was still unexplainably stupefying, your tongue pressing flat on the throbbing flesh of his tip, hands fast and gyrating around his slick shaft that he hears wet sounds against your palm and his sensitive skin. 
His grunts and loud moaning sends a hot pool between your legs that it’s starting to drip down your legs to the bed, sticky and sweet and painful from the lack of touch. You take your vacant hand down between your body and the bed, fingers reaching blindly for your clit. And when you rub the swollen nub, you moan against his head that sends vibrations.
“Shit!” his ass clenches, stopping himself from bucking up. Eddie looks down to see your arm wedged uncomfortably beneath you, and he feels his orgasm build up to the edge of the wall when your eyes close as you rub your clit and suck on his cock. “Are you- touching yourself?”
You hum around him, head bobbing in rhythm to the music. You pull away from his cock, to kiss your way down to his heavy balls. Eddie mewls, whining when you rub your clit faster as you lick his balls. Everything feels overwhelmingly good when you suck on his balls, tongue lifting his heavy sack and enclosing your lips around the dark flesh. Eddie’s eyes roll to the back of his head, throwing his head down to his pillow and covering his eyes with his forearm. 
He feels the eyeliner transfer to his sweaty skin, his sweat taking the liquid kohl and dripping down his temple. But it might have been the tears that threaten to spill past his eyes that sets the makeup off down his face, because your sloppy sucking and quick pumping, it felt so good it renders him an almost sobbing mess beneath you.
“Mommy,” he heaves. “I’m close,”
“Hold it in, then,” you order. “I’m not done. You can touch my hair now, by the way.”
You capture his sack with the most pure look you could muster, as if what you're doing isn’t so fucking unholy. Like you’re at the gates of heaven proving your innocence. Your hands leave him and yourself to push on the back his thighs, letting his feet plant on the mattress, pushing them wide apart to give yourself better access. Eddie moans, almost a scream ripping out his throat and it’s when the tears slowly start, your hand coming back to pump his wet cock loudly, your muffled moaning like music that comes with the squelching of his cock.
“Such a pretty dick,” you tease. “So pretty and good. Wonder what it would feel like to have you inside me. I’m gonna fucking milk you dry until you’re crying and in pain.”
Eddie pats your head, running his fingers through the tangled mess as you look up at him, eyelashes wet and curled, mouth full of his balls that you suck greedily. His missing orgasm is painful, and he finds himself begging embarrassingly. “Bats, can I cum, please? I’ve been good. Fuck—I’ve been such a good boy for you. Please let me cum.”
Your laugh is sardonic and mean, pressing a kiss to his heavy sack before you’re licking up from his balls to his shaft and tip. “Since you asked so nicely.”
Vampishly, you sink your head down his cock again, gagging around him that a string of saliva drips down your neck and the valley of your breast. Eddie mewls, and with a couple more closed cheeks, head bobbing and sucking and licking, he’s shooting his seed at the back of your throat. His warm delicacy coating the walls of your throat.
You don’t stop until he’s milked, sinking your head deeper and deeper until his cum starts to drip out your mouth. Once you’re done, you let him go with a pop. Your finger scooping up his cum and pushing it back into your mouth.
“Mother of Ozzy,” he whispers, watching you suck on your fingers, his legs dropping down. “S-shit. Come here, bats.”
You come back to sit on his lap, his dick still hard but bends down when you grind your cunt against him. Eddie’s (and your) moans are muffled when you kiss him, taking his face in your hands as you kiss him with fervor, slowly grinding on his shaft like you did earlier. Eddie wraps his hands around your back, keeping your chest flushed against his as his tongue evades your mouth.
“You taste like my cum,” he murmurs. 
“Tastes good,” you giggle. “Aw, your eyeliner. I worked hard on that.”
 Eddie pouts. “You give the best fucking head, bats. Couldn’t help it.” 
Tracing his jawline with your finger, you smile at his praise. “Think you can handle one more? Or you just want to lay back and watch me touch myself?”
Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. His answer dies in his mouth when he looks up at you—and Ozzy, you’re fucking beautiful. With your lips plump, eyes glazed in mutual titillation. Like you’re not just fucking, like you didn’t just suck him off just to replenish your venereal hunger. But he doesn’t know what it is, and so do you (though only because you try to ignore the real reason you can’t fathom).
“Me? I can handle more. Fuck me in the ass if you want, bats,” he presses a quick kiss. “You got any condoms?”
With a hand on his shoulder, Eddie keeps you in place as you lean across the bedside table and clumsily open the drawer. You pull out a pack, splayed out in the wooden cabinet from its box, holding it between your middle and index finger as you wiggle your eyebrows at him. “I got twenty more.”
“Easy there, mama,” his voice is low and almost growling as he looks at your lips. The mixtape whirls as you rip the package open with your teeth. Seek and Destroy by Metallica starts playing, your fingers taking the condom from the foil and placing it on your mouth, lips around the plastic ring before you bend down to wrap the condom around his cock. “Fuck.Where’d you learn that?”
You take him fully in your mouth again, cheekily sucking before you pull out and push your hair out of your face. “Steve Harrington. Junior Year,” Eddie gawps. “Right after Nancy Wheeler dumped him.”
“Holy shit,” despite the panging jealousy, he laughs in shock. “You’re something else, baby.”
Baby.
Heat brushes your cheeks, makes you laugh shyly as you take his sensitive cock in your hand. “Lay back down.”
Eddie complies with the help of your hand pushing his back to the bed. You kneel, hand grabbing his cock and straightening it until his tip’s prodding your entrance. You keenly breathe in when you sink, his thick girth splitting your wet pussy open. He lets out a moan that’s almost painful, greedy hands coming to palm your waist to help you sink.
“Shiiiiiiit,” you gasp. “God, you feel fucking amazing, Eds. So fucking big.”
“That’s it mommy. God, so tight,” Eddie’s eyes drip heavily. “You like my dick?”
His neck stretches when you choke him, his head falling back. “Fucking love your fat cock,” you mewl, throwing your head back. Eddie removes his hands from your waist to palm at your tits, feeling his mushroom bulge in your stomach once you’ve fully sat. 
Barely a minute after he’s fully in, you begin moving. The wet sound of your pussy dragging up from his length makes you even wetter, dripping down his navel, his happy trail all sticky. Your hand leaves his neck to scratch on his chest, watching as slanted, red marks paint his skin and his tattoos before you drop down. 
Eddie moans, his feet planting up the bed once more to rest your curved back. “You look so pretty,” he pants. “Riding my cock. Touched myself every night to the thought of this. And I know it’s wrong, bats, but I couldn’t fucking help it. I’d—I’d bend a pillow and fuck it, thinking it was your pussy. And all along I thought you’d let me have my way with you. But I was so wrong.”
You grind and bounce at an adequate pace, your walls clenching around him, your ass slapping against the skin of his thighs everytime you come back down. Eddie relishes in the blissful haze hailed upon you, your eyebrows scrunched and raised, jaw slack as you let out mewls with the same volume as his. Almost to the point that the loud music can’t even drown out your euphoric cries.
The tears began forming from the stinging overstimulation, his cock twitching immediately and he feels so raw. His vigor shredded and he submits himself to you, laying and moaning beneath your sedulous fucking. 
And he knows, even with the rubber separating his flesh to yours, that everything has changed. No one else could fuck him the way you do, the way you sucked him off, the way you ruled over him and his body. Eddie’s tears choke his moans, the ebony makeup spilling down to your white sheets, your nails scratching all over his tattoos as you bounce faster.
“Jesus. You fucking whore,” Your eyes roll to the back of your head, eyes slamming shut as you bounce. You glow with the sheen layer of sweat coating your body, breathtaking in all your pulchritudinous galore. Eddie traces the stretch marks on your thigh and thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful than the rare sight of you all pleasured and his. “God, Eddie, you feel so amazing.”
Your head ducks, a sob coming out of you. Your heart palpitates, the shattering sensation of being fucked open by your best friend gives you blindsiding revelation that you would rather be with him than anyone else. Because the touch of his hands is nothing but comforting after your cruelty. 
You bounce faster on his cock. Eddie’s tears are stained with gray rivulets, coming up to sit and push your chest against him so he can hug you. Your hand tangles itself on his unkempt hair, nails scratching his back, whereas he’s muffling his growls by biting on your shoulder. Eddie kisses his way to your neck, sucking and biting a love bite in. 
“I’m close, bats,” he pants against your sweaty flesh. “I’m gonna fucking cum. I can’t hold it in.”
“Okay,” you nod, pulling away to press your forehead against his. You exchange breathy moans, your bounces now with the help of Eddie as you slowly lose your energy. “F-fuck. All this time I’ve been searching for some rando to fuck. Should’ve just gone to you.” He wedges his hand between your bodies, his fingers dancing across your clit that makes you bump your forehead harder with his. “Fuck, Eddie. Cum. I wanna feel you cum.”
Eddie keens on his orgasm, and so do you. Sobbing and mewling into each other’s mouths as your grinding slows down, feeling his warm cum fill his condom, your own climax covering the rubber. He runs his hands up and down your back, before they come up to your shoulder and cup your face, pushing your hair aside so he could kiss you.
A kiss sweeter and more innocent than the first one. Eddie takes your wet lips into his, soft with his pants and his touch. And with his lips still yours, he helps you kneel up to pull his softening cock out of your gaping cunt. You hiss lightly, a tear coating your eyelashes that he wipes away as he sits you down on his thigh. 
“That’s it, mama,” his voice is raw and croaky, you rest your head on his shoulder, hands leaving you momentarily to pull his condom out. You watch as Eddie tiredly ties the condom, reaching the bin beneath your bed and throws it inside before he’s hugging you again, fingers rubbing your jaw and thigh. “You did good, bats. Tired?”
You nod your head. Eddie urges you to lay on the bed, where you lay on your side and prop your head up with your hand, He wipes the eyeliner off with the side of his thumb, eyes never leaving you.
“So,” you scratch the column of your neck. “That was intense. Didn’t know the Dungeon Master had it in him to call me mommy but, I wouldn’t complain.”
“Shut up,” he pushes on your shoulder, mimicking your position. Eddie’s fingers trace the curvatures of your waist, hovering over your stretch marks. “I didn't know you had it in you. Did you suck Harrington like that too?”
You laugh, hiding your eyes. “No. No, I never blew him. He’s very eager with giving head, it's insane.” Eddie smiles. “But he’s really good at it. He’s got a bit of a breeding kink. Kept whining about condoms but.”
“At least he’s good at giving head,” his rings are cold against your skin. Scooting closer, Eddie nestles his cheek on the side of his elbow. “So I know we literally just finished having sex but
are you still up for another?”
“Jesus, give me a break. I’m not a machine y’know,” he laughs. 
“That’s not what I meant,”
You bite your lip nervously, taking his hand into yours and staring at the difference of its sizes. Your fingers were more slender than his, but his hand  in general was bigger. “I’m still up to play house. I really liked the whole mommy thing.”
Eddie smiles, seraphic and pretty. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” you brush the curls away from his face. “Uncle Wayne wouldn’t be here for a couple hours. My parents are still out. So we can fuck for as long as we want.”
Your offer excites him. Eddie takes your cups your face and kisses you once more, deciding to worry about what would happen after all this later.
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Writer Spotlight: Tamsyn Muir
Tamsyn Muir probably doesn’t need a lot of introduction here on Tumblr, but for those who aren’t yet familiar with her work: Tamsyn Muir is the bestselling author of the Locked Tomb Series. Her fiction has won the Locus and Crawford awards. It has been nominated for the Hugo Award, the Nebula Award, the Shirley Jackson Award, the World Fantasy Award, the Dragon Award, and the Eugie Foster Memorial Award. A Kiwi, she has spent most of her life in Howick, New Zealand, with time living in Waiuku and central Wellington. She currently lives and works in Oxford, in the United Kingdom. 
We asked Tamsyn some questions about Nona the Ninth, the next installment of the Locked Tomb series, which comes out on September 13. (Mild spoilers ahead. You have been warned!)
Can you tell us about Nona the Ninth? How would you contextualize it alongside the previous Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth?
The Locked Tomb has always followed a concrete set of rules about whose point of view we’re in—there’s a priority list and a hard if-and-else-if set of codes about who is telling the tale. The priority character is always Gideon Nav herself, but after Gideon the Ninth, in many ways, she gets knocked out of the ring.
Nona is the next rule on the priority list—the next storyteller. Except there are also a bunch of other storytellers popping up in the priority list as she lets her guard down. That’s kind of one curtain I wanted to pull back on The Locked Tomb as a whole. Who’s telling this story? What is the truth as someone else understands it? Which is why, where the last two books have been told very much from the perspectives of the Nine Houses, we’re finally in a setting where the Houses have pulled back, and the truth told is completely different.
You have a knack for approaching the next part of the story from a completely different vantage point, which is deliciously frustrating for the reader. Why do you think this works so well (when really, it sort of shouldn’t)?
Oh, but it does, and it’s been proved to work—just play an RPG! One thing I passionately loved in Final Fantasy IX, my very favourite Final Fantasy at the end of the day, is that one moment you’re with the thief-turned-thespian Zidane and a wonderfully dashing attempt to kidnap a princess in the middle of a theater performance—then you’re with
some very bizarre kid called Vivi
who has lost his ticket and is getting negged by a horrifying rat child. You’re given a completely different lens on a completely different situation in what’s basically a completely different genre. In the same game! There’s a risk of getting too comfortable in someone’s truth—you might want to settle down in a character whom you have learned to understand. But then you have to practice a very radical empathy in settling down in Nona, who just absolutely does not give a shit about swords or empire and, at her worst, can be quite an irritating, materialistic babe in the woods who is WAY too into dogs. Of course it’s alienating. If the experience of being in Gideon’s head was the same as being in Harrow’s as being in Nona’s, there wouldn’t be any point. If different vantage points didn’t work, A Song of Ice and Fire would never have gotten off the ground. Hell, neither would The Iliad. I just sit longer with my vantage point.
After writing foul-mouthed and horny Gideon and acerbic, memory-challenged, and also horny Harrow, how did you approach writing Nona’s character, and what did you enjoy most about the process?
Harrow would hate that you described her as horny. Gideon would be fine with being described as horny. Nona would love to sit you down and talk about all the things that make her horny, at the end of which you are 50% worried that she doesn’t honestly understand ‘horny,’ and 50% worried that she DOES understand ‘horny.’
Nona is my character who doesn’t give a fuck. Gideon and Harrow both give too many. It was fun to write a character who sincerely seeks out love as she understands it, who has a large collection of friends and interests, and has no ambition. And yet what I really enjoyed is that Nona is easily also the most terrifying POV character of the series. 
We meet some old friends in a new place in Nona. What aspect of the familiar characters meeting the unfamiliar world was the most fun to write?
Honestly, the fact that they’re in such a different milieu was fun enough. One is a woman completely out of time, trying to find something to live for; two are dyed-in-the-wool Housers forced to re-examine values they’ve always taken for granted and what the next part of life after death is going to look like for them. All three are fish out of water. And then there’s actually the reader meeting the familiar after two long books about the unfamiliar, and all the ways I hope that’s entirely weird and recontextualizing. And then, for Nona, what’s familiar to us is entirely unfamiliar to her. Writing Nona was like one long experiment with jamais vu.
When Lyctorhood goes south or gets experimented with, we get someone’s mind in someone else’s body. What is it that drew you to writing this Cartesian mechanism into the universe of the Nine Houses?
Oh my God, please do not spring words like Cartesian on me, I have not had lunch yet.
My understanding is that Descartes thought mind and matter were two completely different things and then got stuck trying to explain why they don’t feel like two completely different things. So if someone kicks you in the goolies and your mind forms the thought ‘yowch, my goolies,’ how is that mind-matter gulf being bridged? Minds in The Locked Tomb lose to matter nine times out of ten. (This is linked, not coincidentally, to my experience of psychosis.) Gideon’s mind is constantly in danger of being sucked away into the storm drain of Harrow’s matter. Revenants are minds that have temporarily anchored themselves to foreign matter, but over time the matter exerts itself, and the mind starts to fall apart. So when you get a mind that’s big enough not only to resist the matter it’s attached to but actually to start burning that matter up
well, what kind of mind could possibly be so powerful?? (Significant looks at camera.)
You’ve previously headcanoned the often affectionately named “Jod” as Taika Waititi (which offers up the potential for some delightful space-god-gay-pirate crossover fic, thank you). Do you have any casting headcanons for the other characters?
I have recently admitted to loving Erana James as Harrow, except I don’t think Harrowhark is quite that good-looking.
By the way, I wish I had come up with Jod. Whoever did, well done you. 
We know you’re not allowed to read fanfic for legal reasons, but who would you find intriguing as a ship proposition and why?
I find all ships intriguing. I’ve spent too long in these mines. No ship is too problematic or cracky for me. My only hope is to out-fandom fandom by presenting them with ships more problematic and crack-filled than they do (I will not; fandom always wins). In these tiresome days where ship wars have been taking on airs, as is my understanding, of virtue versus sin (I don’t even know what Bakudeku is and yet I feel sorry for anyone who ships it; I didn’t ship Reylo because it wasn’t messed-up enough and feel the same), I hope the Locked Tomb fandom is just accepting that all shipping is batshit and every ship is just as bad as the next. Gideon x Harrow is just as bad as Teacher x Crux is as bad as Hot Sauce x Cytherea the First is as bad as Camilla x Juno Zeta is as bad as Silas x Every Asht Brother (actually, I wrote the Asht brothers in an unrelated piece that’ll never see the light of day and imo they’ve suffered enough, but). 
I was in the Kingdom Hearts fandom briefly. We shipped people with Goofy. Actually, let’s go with that. Naberius Tern x Goofy. On second thought, please don’t go with that. Goofy had a happy marriage and would know better.
This question has sparked some debate among the editorial team here because we absolutely can’t agree on one. Do you have a favorite character?
Yes. As of twenty seconds ago, it’s Naberius because I can’t enthuse enough over how he and Goofy’s relationship would break down because Babs spends so much money on silk pillowcases to avoid hair frizz. He only needs two, max, but has twenty. I hope Goofy goes on longer and longer adventures with Sora and Donald to try to ignore how his love life is breaking down over Naberius leaving the wedding they were just attending because he saw some other dude wearing the same shirt. Leave him, Goofy!!!
If Nona had a Tumblr, what would it be called, and what would she post?
It would just be a single text post with ‘hi,’ and she didn’t even write it. She dictated to Camilla, then ran out of ideas. Her profile just says ‘nona,’ and it’s a default layout. Nona just wouldn’t see the point of Tumblr, even if you told her there were pictures of dogs: why would you want to see a picture of a dog when you could be near a dog in real life? (I told you Nona was scary.)
Which house would you belong to, and do you see yourself more as an adept or cavalier?
I belong to No House. I’ve never been able to belong to a House. I’ve never been able to sort myself into anything really; I’ve tried, and nothing sticks. I can’t be an adept or a cavalier either, I’m just sitting in the corner glumly eating hot dogs. I guess I’m Hot Dog House.
The Locked Tomb fanart is strong here on Tumblr. Do you have a favorite piece you’ve seen recently?
Every piece I have seen recently is my most favorite piece! I was just in Spain for the Celsius convention, and the most intensely wonderful thing was that I came away with fan art that the fans have done. I don’t know what they’re feeding them there in Spain, but pretty much every fan was just nonchalantly like, ‘I drew this,’ and presented me with the goddamn Sistine Chapel. Someone had, while they were waiting in a queue, just filled a sketchbook with the most incredible work on the fly. Special shout-out to a marvelous flipbook I got where Harrow and Gideon are ducks.
The plan was for Alecto the Ninth to be the third and last book. Here we are with Nona the Ninth and Alecto still set to appear (we are not complaining). How has that process been?
AWFUL!!!!
It took me a long time to let go of the fact that it wasn’t going to be a trilogy; it was four books. I want the story to be done now! For one thing, because I’m really excited about the ending, and for another thing, the longer this goes on, the more of a terrible gremlin I become. The Locked Tomb is very special to me, but also I have five million other stories to write and only so long in a lifetime. I’ve been with this world since 2018, and I am wildly excited to get to all the other places. My editor and I will, I think, shed a sentimental tear on the final page, but also, you haven’t even met Teresa Santos yet, who has kept every gun she has ever loved.
What kind of writer are you? A plotter? A pantser? Do you have any morning rituals that set you up for a day of writing?
Plotter. I envy pantsers and gardeners. This is why Nona being unexpected got to me so much. I don’t actually have any rituals or exercises or anything—it’s important for me to have a specific writing space and a good breakfast. But every book is different. Like, what helped with Harrow was breaking every so often to die in Donkey Kong Country.
Do you have any writing or publishing or life advice for any budding queer sci-fi writers reading this?
I see so many writers—and this may also have something to do with being a queer writer—giving themselves SUCH a goddamned hard time. If I could give any advice to them, it would be to stop beating themselves up so much. I’m really dubious at how there’s this perceived glamorous youthquake to writing— like, that if you haven’t been published by 25 and don’t have BookTok at your feet, you’re a failure—it is so much more important to live your life. I’m so grateful I lived in an era where I could write fanfiction, for instance, and not have the sense that it ought to be my side hustle. You don’t have to have published the world’s most important and meaningful queer SFF story by the time you are 29. You don’t need to have done jack shit. 
I do have one piece of practical life advice because if I have any regrets, it is that for a large portion of my early twenties, I used to consume like six cans of Mountain Dew a day. I don’t think this sparked queer joy. I think it stripped away all my tooth enamel. You will LOVE having tooth enamel in your old age, so stop.
The Locked Tomb is seriously good and gloriously queer, and its continued success will hopefully encourage more publishers to publish more queer sci-fi, all of the time. Do you have any queer sci-fi reading recs to tide us over while we await Alecto? 
Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh is coming soon. It should really be called Problematic Gays I Have Loved (this is why they don’t let me title things).
Thank you so much to Tamsyn for taking the time to answer our questions! We’re so excited to see everyone’s reactions to Nona the Ninth when she arrives on September 13!! In the meantime, head over to the #the locked tomb tag for fan theories, fics, and art (remember to filter for spoilers)!
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blitzxiiru · 2 years ago
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U talked about people giving u scar ideas (in my case even more scar ideas).
P.S.: I LOVED the picture of Leo you drew with electricity scars! They looked very cool! I like how you did, at least with that picture, made them glow, just to make them stand out a bit more; looked awesome. Also, Leo looked hella feral in that picture, and I am ALWAYS here for feral Leo, lol.
And I just saw some clips and amvs (one of those clips being from TMNT clips tumblr) where Shredder almost crushed Leo to death and also threw him very far, hitting a car. I would link it, but tumblr hates me, and doesn't let me (at least currently) link stuff anymore in asks (maybe the Tumblr Gods will let me do so again someday...).
And then later on, in a different scene, he started trying to crush Leo's throat with his clawed hands (man, Shredder, haven't you already done enough damage to Leo's throat and/or windpipe, like sheesh, man!).
Also, since someone mentioned April (you drew her so pretty! And I liked the scars you gave her), Casey defin. would have SOME scars too. Like, for sure some head ones, pretty sure that dude got some and/or a lot of head injuries in that show and/or just scars from being such a brawler.
Also, Raph and Karai are brain worm/brain worms scars buddies! I say that, but that is sad as hell, poor Raph and Karai. I could see them bonding over it though. And Leo and Mikey just worrying about them when they talk about it (Donnie would too, but like, Leo is very much an overprotective sibling and would worry about and/or dote on his siblings/family/close friends, and Mikey worries about his big bros a lot, and knows when they are upset) sometimes.
we fr giving these boys more scars as if they don’t have enough of it already HHAHAHHAHA
thank you!!! i had a hell of a time time drawing that piece btw, it was super fun to draw feral leo. he really deserves to let off some steam.
i think i remember that scene, there was actually a recreation of it during that halloween episode in season 5 if i recall correctly?? poor boy got his arms crushed twice, by the SAME damn person..
shdgsjbdjsbd thank you again <33 april and casey was great to draw too, dude you have no idea how much i needed to touch up on drawing actual people since being hooked on tmnt bc i went literal weeks drawing turtles instead of humans LMAO thank god for muscle memory or else i would’ve forgotten completely. and, yes, absolutely! casey would def have some head injuries, and more centring around his arms and hands too. he’s buddies with mikey, since they both get head injuries so frequently.
karai and raph would tease each other about their brainworm scars lmao, they’d compare which one is nastier and neither would back down until the others have to mediate the two idiots into a draw. this happens everytime they meet btw
hope you enjoy my little doodles about these senarios :)
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