#i love you sooooooo much it's insane babes

[moonlight-prose]

a barbie sleepover? I am there faster than you can finish singing I’m just ken 😌 here we goo!

📞call and receive! - I would like some advice for getting out of a major writing slump? seeing as you’ve been on a hot writing streak, how do you write so much without second guessing it and keep yourself going?

💌send some love to a blog! - yes I’m I would like to send some love to you! 🩷 (even though i practically tell you this every time you send me a snippet of what you’re working on) I’m just so endlessly proud and in awe of you. you’re amazing and this hot writing streak that you’re on is not only keeping my Logan brainrot alive, but it’s also keeping me from losing it and feeling like absolute shit. BUT ANYWAY, YOU ARE SPECTACULAR YOU AND YOURE BEAUTIFUL WRITING BRAIN!! I ADORE YOU AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD!! MWAH!!! 😘😘♥️

did i save this cause i love you and want to re-read this all the time??? absolutely.

okay so advice about getting out of a writing slump! i think honestly what got me out of my writing slump was watching deadpool & wolverine. i think i finally realized that this whole thing in regards to fandom is meant to be fun. and what i write here isn't gonna win awards or get me a paycheck. it's practice so when i turn over and write my original pieces i feel better about my skill.

don't second guess yourself but i know that's never easy cause duh we all do that in one way or another. but instead try to remember that fanfic/writing for these characters is just a way to tell them you love them.

it's a way to place yourself in scenarios that can be solely for you! it's not supposed to be stressful and i think if it is stressing you out then take a step back, breathe, and return to it when you feel okay.

[whythehailnot]

Fat girlie dating ramble and a question for other fat babes

Having a bit of an insecurity spiral today (as one does while being in the dating ring), and on a few separate occasions of venting about dating and feeling insecure as a fat person dating, I feel like I get the same sort of "huh? Is that really a thing? Did this person explicitly tell you that?" when I mention some concerns/insecurities that crop up.

The biggest being that I want the person I'm dating to find me hot (the lowest bar to trip over, as my friend puts it). And of course the people we date should see us as hot! Hello! It's truly step one! 👏💖

But I was talking about how I worry that people (mostly men) who reach out to me just see me as being someone to either A) must be a good cook (and potential gf/wife material), because I'm fat (and their profile indicates they're looking for gf/wife to cook for them lmao man-children 🙄) B) just here to validate their emotions and lift them up (this unfortunately can just be applied to anyone, you don't have to be fat, but if you're also femme I feel like this very common) and C) that because I'm fat, I must be "easy" and desperate for a relationship.

It's the C that trips up the people I've brought this up to - and it's making me feel insane and like I'm crazy that this is a concern. The people I've also brought this up to are also both thin and attractive as well. (And I want to stress these people are wonderful and I love them, but I think because it's not an experience they've dealt with/been super adjacent too, it's just not something they can really understand).

It's one of those where no one has explicitly said any of these to me in my personal experience, but it's such a pervasive thought in my mind (fueled by past experiences that my depression brain can't fully articulate, but also ABSOLUTELY from sooooooo much media growing up).

But it's making me wonder if this is ACTUALLY something that other fat babes have felt in their life as well? Am I just being sort of crazy/ultra sensitive? Am I gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss-ing myself?? HELP LMAO

*I'll delete this later probably but I truly just feel like I'm crazy @ w @;;

[moonstruckme]

imagine the boys ( poly!marauders ) with a muggleborn s/o who's very artistic but super humble and casual abt it

like they're all chilling together, and she's just like "hey sirius, do you think i got your nose right?" and she turns her sketchbook and it's the most beautiful drawing of all of them smiling together in pencil and the boys are like ":O!!! what the hell babe that's so good!!!" and she's trying to tell them it's nothing special, but they're all over her

and assuming she'd know about their animagus forms, imagine sirius offhandedly mentions wanting a new tattoo!! and s/o shows him all of the designs she made based off padfoot, prongs, and even moony, he gets one of them and shows the other boys

BONUS POINTS IF IT'S MODERN TIMES! and s/o has a sticker maker thingies, and prints stickers with those designs and is so proud to show them to her boys, and then suddenly a few of them are gone and she's like ":((" bc she thinks she lost them. but then she finds them on james' broom, and on remus' journal, and sirius' bike, bc they love showing off her work and being like "oh, this? yeah it's so good right?? MY girlfriend made that 😏😏 she's so talented and cool"

Omg I left this in my inbox forever because I thought it was a request and was like "wow I've got a lot to include in there" but now I see that it's not haha (I hope I'm not wrong now, sorry if I am!)

This is sooooooo sweet though!!! I can just imagine how impressed they'd all be, and Sirius and James being bolder in asking her to draw them but Remus secretly keeping every one she makes of him in a special place and looking at them all the time :((

And there's NO WAY they didn't frame that first drawing you mentioned if they all share a flat, that is their MASTERPIECE and they want everyone to see!! The idea of her doing tattoo designs for Sirius is so cute, I feel like slowly more and more tattoos in her style would start to appear on his body and he'd love having that piece of her with him so much.

The sticker thing AHHH!! They're showing her off, they're smiling each time they look at it, they're taking every opportunity to tell anyone who asks (or doesn't) that their girlfriend is an amazing talented artist and isn't is this sticker such excellent proof??

I <3 the idea of the boys being so totally fascinated and honestly dazzled by their artistic gf and her insane talent, thanks so much for sharing my love!!

[velvet-vox]

My second pipeline of future ideas: Part 1

As of right now, I'm making an analysis on Noximilien Coxen the Watchmaker from Wakfu, and it's going pretty smoothly, I should be able to publish it as of tomorrow.

In the meantime, I thought about making a second survey to see what each and every one of you wants to see first between these projects:

Lord Shen's horrifying humanity: an analysis of Lord Shen in the same vein as my Tai Lung's one; I've recently rewatched both of the Kung Fu Panda movies after so many years, AND IT WAS SOOOOOOO GOOD. While watching the second one, however, I've noticed something that I've never seen: how the film focuses so much on Shen's emotional state, and how it helps him to become one of the greatest baddies in all of animation.

Doll and Andrew Graves comparison: remember all the times when I've said I was going to make a comparison post between Nox from Wakfu and Doll from Murder Drones? Well, I'm still going to do that once episode 8 is out, but in the meantime, since both The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley and Murder Drones are unfinished products, I thought, sure why not? My only hope is to get the Andrew part right, I'm especially worried since there're new pieces of information regarding Julia and Rene that I still haven't seen, so I might need to get my facts checked.

How and Why Liam Vickers wrote Doll as a rather unsympathetic character: I feel like, when you really love something, you must be able to criticise it. And this is exactly the goal of this analysis, as I break down all of the problems with Doll's writing right from the conceptual issues down to her future and legacy.

Female villains tier list: a long time coming, and still a long time in the making. The problem is that I've accidentally published it ahead of time only to then remake it from scratch and still accidentally publish it, again. Also I've decided to watch the Kerubim movie to see if Julith was as good as I've heard. I imagine so, since it's a Wakfu antagonist, but I have to wait and see.

Dark Vlad analysis: I want to make an analysis on every main antagonist of Wakfu, and since I can finally watch season 4 and maybe the movie, that includes Toross and Julith. But there's one minor, one-off antagonist that I also want to talk about; what is, in my opinion, the best villain from season 3 and the single greatest twist villain in all of fiction: the title itself is actually misleading, as I'll be talking about Goultard himself.

To find a way to spend the time while the survey ends, I'll be writing about the insanely untapped potential of Rebecca from Murder Drones.

@rad10active-ketchup , @rebecca-babe , @zobjilan77 , please, send me your ideas if you want to see them discussed as I'm not normally a Rebecca fan so I could use some help to get everything right.

[jojotichakorn]

archer rewatches nlmg: episode 11

[episode 10]

i kinda love that palm came so close to considering killing tanya. there is something very meaty, very juicy there.

hey, we're not catholic here. thinking about doing something and doing it are very different things.

absolutely insane and diabolical, i love it

literally one of my favourite mini-eras of their relationship. palm as an official personal bodyguard. they also look sooooooo fucking hot, just look at them!!!

i desperately want to analyse their fashion sense in-depth because i am obsessed with it. and it feels intentional. palm is genuinely stylish. his current change in status just built off of what he always wears, so he simply has a jacket on top of his standard tasteful hawaiian shirt and white low cut tank-top, he always accessorises and has a variety of bracelets and necklaces he wears as well. meanwhile, nueng is very much "i know which items of clothing i should wear for which occasion and... that's it", so he goes for a regular short-sleeved top + shorts pairing on the island and now wears a very straightforward suit and tie combo, and it all very much gives off a "someone else bought all these clothes for me and i'm just throwing together whatever my eyes fall on first" vibe.

well, i have good news for you, kit. a little while longer and you won't have to imagine what it's like when you son sends you to rot and die in prison :)

don't mind me, i'm just trying to figure out how short i am in comparison to pond (results: devastating)

and thank gods for that

gjdflkgjkdf friend? they su[gunshot]

speaking of fashion, chopper's looks are also very stylish and very intentional like!! idk, i wanna talk to the costume designers of this thing asap.

*chanting* PAT-RI-CIDE PAT-RI-CIDE PAT-RI-CIDE

PERTH IS SO FUCKING GOOD I SWEAR TO GODS

look at him, gushing to his mom about his boyfriend, he is so happy with palm and so in love with him 🥹

babe, i know you're insane, but everything should have limits. you are staying together forever or else. this is a threat.

thinking of palm daydreaming about dancing with nueng, when they were dancing with other people. thinking of palm dancing with nueng, when he was drunk and grieving his mom and about to lose nueng. seeing them finally dancing together happily, making plans for the future, promising to never leave each other again.

again, when is it my turn

i'm obsessed with nueng's personality growth btw. babygirl is literally being held hostage and he is laughing in kit's face lmao.

[finale]

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭🤭

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

[cescalr]

New tag game: list ten of your childhood ships!

tagged by @babybeale <3... forever ago. Uh. Whoops!

[I will also state my current feelings regarding the ship, and I'll go into as little or as much detail as I feel like <3 I'm also. I have a sieve brain. I'm trying to remember what the fuck it was I shipped as a kid lmao. Anything I shipped, say, pre 2016, I think should count? ftr that means I was 14 or under when I shipped it.]

Nina/Fabian, from House of Anubis;

They're still cute. Better than what they pulled in the last season ;-; fabian and mara...... why...........

2. Sam and Freddie, from iCarly;

This show was just. Not good at writing romance. At all. It was bad at it. But I am very smart and know better than them (/joke) so I could do seddie justice. Er. Maybe trying to do that right now, actually. Shh.

[also, friend; jade and beck is so complicated, you're right. A fun mess, but still a mess lmao. Me and my rarepairs was always a fan of stuff that never ended up being canon though. Might as well put it next, I guess? Looking at your 3.... when it comes to icarly; we could not possibly have had more different opinions on the matter <3 lmao]

3. Tori Vega / André Harris;

I haven't watched it in years so I do not remember why! But I do remember that I did. I think. Don't - don't quote me on anything ever.

4. Willoz - from buffy the vampire slayer;

No gifs for them :( :( :( love them still so very much <3

5. Honestly, I'd steal your number 5 bestie, 6Teen was great. In the spirit of obscure animated TV shows, though - and It's been so damn long I forgot the names of some characters, had to look up the guy's name, lol - Zero and Vin from The Invisible Network of Kids. It left a profound impact on my psyche because they did something really fucked up in the last episode, plus left us on a cliffhanger, and then the show got cancelled </3 rip. Haven't watched it in a decade or so. No idea if it holds up, but I was super invested in these kids doing spy work and experiencing insane levels of trauma that would be ignored come each new episode </3. I was literally 8 years old <3. It has a TV tropes page and the entire show is availible on the Internet Archive, of all places, sooooooo I may browse. For nostalgia's sake. There are literally zero gifs available for this one, because. I mean. No shit.

7. Didn't watch any of that continuity - only got so far as Tracey Beaker Returns... alas. Anyway, my pic for 7..... hm. Sigh.

Stiles/Lydia, Teen Wolf.

This ^ is NOT romantic! she slams her mouth onto his in the middle of a panic attack. Babe. No. No. Regardless; I don't like it </3. They really. Oh god they really fucked up this one. Like a lot. Plus, they both just ended up with much better canon ships (stalia, marrish) that then got shafted for this mess to be the endgame and then the movie breaks them up anyway!!! OFFSCREEN!!!! they didn't even last 2 weeks!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! I don't like them. But I used to. Playlist, for proof. I feel like this counts, because I shipped them when I first watched the show as it aired (I was 10 when the show started), but I did still ship the pairing until well into my teens (16 or so) before I wised up (the show made them very bad in a really boring way. Not that they weren't bad before. Love how they both do things that are otherwise reprehensible but the show frames them as romantic for some fucking reason </3 I was like 13 when I saw this kiss on screen. They're lucky I did research and didn't just take it at face value or I could've gotten some really bad ideas about what's healthy in a situation like this!).

8. Zikki (Zane/Rikki), H20: Just Add Water;

Season 3 does not exist <3 [also, the way they wrote the 'cheating' plotline was fucked up. That woman planted one on him!!! he did not consent!!! Why are we supposed to be blaming him for being sexually harassed in the workplace!!! No!!!]. Still ship them fr fr.

8. maf;lkasjd;f yeahhh. Think if you watched friends as a kid, it was inevitable you'd ship rosschel, the damn thing was pushed so hard. Stand in regretful solidarity;

For really obvious reasons (being that it is rosschel); hot damn no I do not!

9. Harry and Ginny, Harry Potter.

Ignoring the horrendous movie adaptation, when I read the hp books I basically just defaulted to shipping whatever was canon. Luckily for me, the canon hp ships are actually pretty good ones! If you ignore the canaries in the room. (I. Do not. Famously. Well. Infamously.) As for Hinny, whilst its a garbage ship name, the pairing itself is pretty great <3

10. kaljdflkasdt thank god I don't remember jack shit about watching glee for the first time! the sieve brain is a blessing in this one occasion. I've already mentioned in another (tagged <3) post my vaguely-relevant hsm ships, though, so..... hmm. What should I pick.... let's think.... I'm kidding. I don't need to think.

Shoker is a major missed opportunity in ME, and I've been mad about the choices for my fem!shep for YEARS because. Look. Kaiden she did not cheat on you. You left!! You accused her of being evil and fucked off after she was resurrected!! what else was she supposed to think other than 'guess he doesn't want to date me anymore. Rude.' And. You could have sex with Jack but not romance her, that was locked to male characters >:| biphobia [Jack can have sexual relations with women, but her only real connections are to men. Rude!]. And, Liara in my games always turned herself down for romance because she assumed my shep wanted to date Kaiden because she's not a total dick to him and there's no way for me to clarify otherwise, also people making assumptions :/ not great. Plus Li becomes the shadow broker and it's a whole thing, so that doesn't really work out narratively for me anyway. Can't romance Miranda. Can't romance Tali (wouldn't anyway - Tali/Garrus <3). Refuse to romance Garrus that is just so platonic a dynamic it's not even funny. Jacob cheats and dips, so fuck him. Like... all of the fem!shep romances are terrible (or Trainor, I guess, but she's... kind of. Nobody. She's Just There. Sorry. It's not narratively interesting enough for me.) and Joker was right there and augh. Augh! Still ship. Still mad about it. Hatboy Project is doing the lord's work! I salute thee soldier in thine endeavours. Waiting to replay LE until it's been finished <3.

<3

If anyone wants to pick this up, go for it!

[unsleepingtales]

Happy holidays from all of us here on fantasy high tumblr.

Coming back to the top having just finished the ep. I feel insane. ANYWAY.

Our name is ally brennan beardsley mulligan!!

I AM FRIENDS WITH PETE WENTZ FROM FALL OUT BOY WHO IS WANDA CHILDA’S (RECENT) EX BOYFRIEND???????

Ok glad we’re talking about spies tongue curse. Bc what was that

Oh my god this episode is three hours long

Sklonda what’s your goal here bestie

I’m really distracted rn so not many notes are being taken I’m definitely gonna have to rewatch this episode over the weekend

But god all the soil stuff is weird

Something in his office??? Something like maybe the mirror where baron first appeared??

Yeah just throwing energy into external things to avoid feeling your own feelings. Is a thing that happens.

THANK YOU RIZ please please talk about the students freaking out

Oh godddddd the soil it all comes back to minerals and soil somehow ok

Diamondized blood 😭

I love tired Adaine she’s trying her bestttt

Goddd the bad girls are everything to me. They are every triad ever.

You’re giving the identity spell a stroke guys

Holy SHIT Beardsley

Oooooooh DOME COLOR CHANGE

Saint Kristen Applebees motherfuckers

Okay that’s horrifying!

Ok so that was fun

Zac is SO smart

‘Gorgug….. so good’

Godly whale fall……… Zac Oyama your mind

It’s like burning man 😭

Burning Man as Whale Fall. Maybe I’ll write the paper.

Planeshift is a spell guysssss you have used it before

The way he talks to her makes her mad!!!!!

Cassandraaaaaaaaaa

Gorgug <3

Your enemy the beekeeper!

THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT IT

Yeah Fabian probably does not want to go to Aelwyn’s house

Riding a scooter. Classic Adaine.

Devastating.

OOF

Yeesh.

Yeah the last friends Aelwyn had we’re not good!

🚨🚨 ZAYN MENTION 🚨🚨 Zayn my best friend Zayn Darkshadow 🖤🖤🖤

Brennan’s physicality as Aelwyn is so funny

Aelwyn and Fabian leave it alone!!! Don’t!!

What? No! No! What? What? What? No!

One thing about Ally Beardsley is they’re gonna talk about Joe Biden.

They’re good crimes? You’re having fun with the crimes? Come do crimes with us!

Aelwyn librarian era??

Holy shit Emily

What the fuckkkkkk

Absolute dream terrorist Figueroth Faeth

Gertie my beloved!

Dark red honey oooh

Kristen x Gertie let’s goooooo

HELLO????????

OKAY I GUESS THATS HAPPENING FANTASTIC LOVE THAT FOR BOTH OF THEM

Also that makes Gertie campaigning for Kipperlilly 100x funnier

Whattttttt

I need fic. STAT.

Yayyyy a bit of financial breathing room for Riz

Mazey!

My mind’s still back in the cafeteria I can’t wait to see fantasy high tumblr’s response to Kristen and Gertie

Do NOT get tracker. NO.

Oooh so we finally have info on the bylaws

Where did you get wanda childa’s resume???????

He’s really committed to the neck tattoo thing huh.

They’re all so good. They’re just good.

Gorgug!!!!

THEY FINALLY REALIZED!!!!

We’ve been sooooooo intense about it I wasn’t even sure if they had realized lol

Ok! Nephew. Interesting.

Henry helped build Grix. Ok.

Henryyyyyyyyy

God we can’t trust any of the teachers really. That’s so depressing.

God if only you could actually just go let’s end the meeting right there every time you were uncomfortable

The ENTIRE family is going yeah

THEYRE BRINGING ZAYNNNNNNNN

I’m so glad they’re bringing Zayn my best friend in the world Zayn Darkshadow

His art makes me so fucking happy.

Ooh good thinking Siobhan

Telemaine oh boy

Oh god

Gilear time!!!!

(haunted and suspicious)

Awww she called him dad

Sometimes Brennan just says shit

He really had to get rid of the puppy fast

She killed my god- NO- fine. She helped my god die.

That actually makes so much sense. Once things are good after they’ve been bad for ages you don’t know who you are without the bad things

It’s me fig! From the phone!

(all talking at once about Kristen’s kisses)

What

What??

Babe how could we not clown

RIZBERT

We could have been calling you rizbert this entire time

WHAT????

Telemaine leave Riz alone

RUVINA?????? Winter in fallinel for the first time in eons????? Ruvina maybe??

Oh yeah the name of the religion is literally wolfSONG

Fantasy Hamilton

It’s so funny that they’re calling her bee girl bc there’s an npc named bee boy in my current campaign that we all love SO much

Aelwyn. Babe.

Gorgug white knuckling the railing to avoid Telemaine

There is NOT an option for under 18s on any kink dating app

Sandra Lynnnnnnnn I would be so good to you you don’t even know

Okay but wasn’t Gilear cursed way before he put the armor on???? This is what keeps tripping me up. Gilear’s life was like this before.

My only daughter in the world 😭😭😭

Fig. Fig honey. That’s not. That’s.

Fig and Sandra Lynn. They fuck me up so bad.

Sandra Lynn Faeth the woman that you are………….

Zayn is coming to the church! Zayn Darkshadow my best friend in the world!!!

SPY’S TONGUE

Ohhhhhhhh okay

I love that it’s canon that Aelwyn and Zayn are wizard buddies who worked for Kalina together

Using devil’s nectar too much causes you to to believe your own lies. Fabulous.

Divinity is so weird

Name heist?

Winter Break! I believe in you!!

Kristen. Kristennnnnn

Narnia Burning Man 😭

Oh god

Oh god!

She will be risen!

It is SO cold

OUCH

Guys what the hell is going on

Yeah of COURSE she’s deeply bothered. Kristen is doing the same thing to her that she did earlier. They bother each other. They need each other to understand.

This kills me. This kills me so deeply.

Ohhh thank you for thinking about Ruvina

They’re BEST FRIENDS

They’re rolling initiative to decide who goes first in secret sylvan. I’m gonna fucking cry.

ADAINE THATS SO SWEET

Fabian. Fabian this is actually so nice. Please think about this. It will make them not attack you. Adaine wanted to help you with your fear.

Fabian we know you can give good gifts

Murph is running a tight ship on secret sylvan

(attempted tearing noises)

That’s actually really nice

They’re tactical!!!!!!

I love this so much

That’s so nice oh my god Kristen you know Riz so well

They love each other so much

GORGUG HAD FIG IN SECRET SYLVAN. Be still my figgorgug heart.

Brennan stopppppppppp

The intense zoom on Ally doing this.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Is she like me.

Zaynnnnnnn

Sorry I’m incredibly not normal about Zayn Darkshadow I’m sure you couldn’t tell from how I react when he has .5 seconds of screen time

Girl WHAT

God they’re good

Riz Gukgak!!

IS THIS WHERE CASSANDRA WAS MARRIED

Dig bitch!

Oooooooooooh baby

Adaine I love you

Oh fuck oh god oh fuck

Zayn nooooooooo

Oh god why

KRISTEN

The idea of watching the moon get fuller is really cool

Oh god

MIRRORS?

Somehow I completely forgot baron was in this episode. I was so distracted I forgot what was coming.

Awww Cassandra is protecting her paladin

Oh my god this is insane

Oh no oh no oh no

Don’t break a mirror don’t do that not right now not here

Oh my god?????

They’re married <3

BARON HELPING??!

BARON ART BARON ART BARON ART

Is Zayn okay :(

You can’t ALL go in the briefcase can you???

WARDING BOND 😭😭😭😭 oh my god I can’t handle that

Death bond <3

What the fuckkkkkkkkk

Hello???????

NAT 20 DEX SAVE FROM KRISTEN APPLEBEES

Where the fuck are they.

Ooooh fig’s bedroom art!

How did this happen.

BARON MINI NEXT WEEK

[mcl4r3n]

Thing are looking up for them but there’s a lot of reminiscing about how things were and not a lot of moving forward, they’re still at the frienship stage. After the first two races they’re back to Monaco and Daniel decides to properly take him to dinner. He’s picking him up and then Lando rocks up in enchanté merch casually and Daniel can’t stop staring at him he’s barely able too keep his eyes on the road. That’s the first time in months there’s been sexual tension. They get to the restaurant and they talk about testing and cars etc but once they’re a few glasses in the tension is higher and the conversation deeper. Daniel asks if Lando slept with another man after they ended things, cause yk jealousy again. And Lando just responds with ’did you?’ And Daniel goes ’I tried, but it just wasn’t the same,’ and the truth was Daniel didn’t even get past the talking stage with that other dude. And then Lando says ’It’s only ever been you, for me’ and it’s an open statement it can be interpreted in many ways but Daniel can’t help but exhale a sigh of relief because fuck he loves Lando so much. ’I want to try- properly this time, would you give me another chance,’ Daniel says and it’s so vulnerable and of course Lando says yes. They go back to Daniel’s place and Daniel carries Lando to bed, he spends so much time just kissing him everywhere and it drives Lando crazy but it’s okay cause they’re back and this time Lando knows it’s for real

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭🥹🥹 NONNIE IM GONNA GO FUCKING INSANE!!!!!!!!

FOLLOW UP TO THIS OTHER MESSAGE FROM ANON!!!!

God like okay so. Daniel spends sooooooo much time just kissing him, and every time Daniel tries to pull away from his mouth lando's chasing him again, just wants to keep kissing him honestly. Danny's hands are just on his waist and danny is kissing him so deeply and so gently, and lando takes daniel's hands and puts them on his ASS and daniel takes a shuddering breath against his lips and then squeezes and then presses his hips against lando's and lando's head is spinning because daniel is HARD against him after almost a year of not touching, almost a year of being without this.

Daniel's muttering against his cheek, breathing heavy, whispering "fuck. Fuck, babe—lando, i missed you so much."

And lando hears the pet name, tells daniel to call him baby again, and daniel just groans, kisses lando's cheeks and his chin and his neck and says "baby, baby, god, i've wanted you so bad."

They take it so, so slowly, danny peeling lando's clothes off one by one, daniel spending extra time on his nipples and they've both been so hard for so long now but lando doesnt hurry because all of it feels so good.

Daniel blows him and lando says he's close but instesd of pulling off, danny swallows every drop which he didn't used to do and then he eats lando out and lando's over sensitive but he's not gonna stop him, he's got tears in his eyes, and when daniel tries to leave to get a condom, but lando doesnt let him leave, and daniel's just like going insane. And daniel is so. . . vulnerable and timid and lando says "danny please. Please." And so daniel does, enters him raw and they're face to face and it's overwhelming and so good and danny admits that he doesn't know if he can last very long and lando laughs and says do you think i will??

And yeah, neither of them last very long, but it's so perfect and so good and danny finishes inside him and they're both just soooooo. Soooo!!!!

They fall asleep messy and tangled in each other and in the morning when lando wakes up daniel is still there and they both kinda smell and everything but lando wakes him up slowly with kisses to his chest, his cheek, and daniel opens his eyes, confused and groggy at first, but then he realizes where he is and who he's with and he smiles sleepy and soft and lando just.

"I love you, danny."

And daniel frowns, why the fuck is he frowning, and oh god, he's CRYING, he's fucking crying and lando's stomach drops because did he say it too soon, did daniel change his mind, and daniel just hugs him. Presses kisses into lando's curls. And then through his snot he says "i love you. I love you. I fucking love you."

[halfelven]

Arwen, Elladan & Elrohir for the character bingo? :D

Love the way you write the peredhel and your thoughts on them generally!!

- main of @olorinestel

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

repeating i do not have a saviour complex i do not have a saviour complex i do not have a saviour complex (< lying)

okayyyyyyy sooooooo. let’s start with arwen. when i first heard the goes to lie down alone in an empty land to die story i didn’t speak for several hours and i was still feel the pain of it and can taste the scent of fallen pine needles and see the golden sun on the warm bark of the shaking trees. i’m screaming and crying and throwing up. she is not like me. i do not get the falling in love thing. i’m checking mommy and daddy issues bc of what happened to her mom and the whole separation thing with her dad. i do think they were great parents

also she is insane. and it’s so good. especially with piercing gazes striking little hobbits and all that. close connections to her insane grandparents. whatever the hell is going on with her and aragorn. obsessed.

look elladan and elrohir came out the same but i’ll go with elrohir first

here’s where i do NOT have a saviour complex comes in. i did not read about them at five years old and dream of knowing violence and loneliness and peril to save people.

anyways babe gets mommy reasons for obvious reasons. daddy issues bc of the immortality or not reasons. do i think he would actually punch me? doubtful. but he’d probably stop me if it were the wild and he didn’t know if he could trust me. i didn’t choose my name partially bc it’s similar to his btw. i didn’t pretend i was elrohir and my sister was elladan and still have our nicknames set from theirs in my phone btw.

i don’t give a fuck what tolkien says!!! his name is star-rider!!! and it’s a tribute to earendil. tolkien can fucking fight me!!!!

god riding through the wilderness to tell aragorn hey daddy says we should go through the paths of the dead. elvish wights. dark magic and a fucking ghost army. i’m sooooo normal about him. i can’t picture every detail of his clothes and i have never pretended hallucinations were him until i wasn’t scared of them anymore. never had dreams about him that don’t even feel like dreams either. i’m so sane and normal. i don’t hate him because the self imposed pain he takes to protect the world hits too close. don’t relate to saving my mother from torments but not being able to save her either.

on to elladan

same mommy and daddy issues. again he probably wouldn’t actually punch me but maybe he would under certain circumstances.

i included a lot of the insanity when talking about his brother because they go together in a lot of that. also never had super weird dreams about him that took too long and had too much reading in them. only normal dreams.

but seriously i think the immortal thing with half elves goes a bit to their head. like the being able to live for thousands of years but you could drop it? insane.

also gonna fight tolkien bc i swear all three of them were kids at the same time. like seriously fight me tolkien. (i think i could take him)

again i’m soooooo normal about him. nothing about throwing everything aside to make my life about a singular purpose (or maybe not singular. protection and revenge. also you have to look at orcs as metaphors for this to work*)

stopping now or this will be too long. have to put it under a cut as is

*i like my ideas of what orcs are better than tolkien’s. i actually much prefer a few of my systems in fantasy to his. and i prefer my own fantasy world to his over all

thank you for the ask and for liking how i write them!!! they are some of the characters that got me through a lot of things and i will always love them even if i also write them suffering

[the-good-projxct]

July,3rd, 2024

7:47pm what a lovely time eh? 7.47, it's just aesthetically cute. Anyway, I am listening to Kygo and Miguel’s remind me to forget.. This song used to make me cry HOT tears. LMAO. Now I kinda dance to it. I am so umm chaotic. I wanna be in my Whitney era minus the drugs and premature death. Like, she really lived her life. I wanna receive an award and say you gotta lay low. Like I want the Nobel peace prize for the Gøod projxct. LMAO, I truly feel like I deserve it. This projxct has put me through it. Creative PEI…hmm. Abi, lemme say nuttin. But God knows wagwan. This is a Gøod projxct not a petty projxct, we thank God cuz otherwise…..I WOULD BE. Ahem. About the Nobel Peace prize, you know the guy genociding Eritreans has a Nobel Peace Prize. So like if he can have one, then my dreams are valid. I honestly just want to win it and do a speech in AAVE, Sheng and KiMeru. And quote Whitney. Just be Blackity Black pon Black with a side dish of nigga pon that podium. Cuz the world deserves it. I have so much energy today. Honestly, it’s just been a Gøod day. I feel like when I get serious tings done at a slow pace my mood just boosts. I had a slow AF morning because mandem could not sleep until like 3am. I went to bed at 10pm, didn’t sleep till 3am. That is 7 hrs in bed without sleep. Ya know how crazy that is?!?!?  And if I tell a dr, they might put me on sleeping pills but I’m an addict. I will Love that shit. And the ting is, once I fall asleep, I sleep for 7-10 hrs. So the later I sleep, the later I wake up. It is chaotic. Four Five Seconds by Rihana and Yeezy just came on. This is a mood too. I wish more places played a perfect playlist for me. Like my 34th B’Earthday party. That playlist was BANANAS. That party had an insane vibe. Like hot men, hot babes, super Queer. So much weed. That smoke room was PACKED at some point. Making out in there on my day. Weuh. But all in all, the playlist which I curated was epic. Dancehall, Afrobeat, old skool hip hop. I mean, I had it alllll down to a T. Plus my mom catered. Yo. I don’t throw parties often but when I do, it is perfection. I also think I am in a Gøod mood because I have more structure. But also, Munene reminded me in a rough way, to be where my feet are. Like how is manz gonna use me against me? LMAO, I Love him. He is totally a need in my life. LMAO, I am afraid to admit it because I been a real BADMAN for soo long that I cyannottt imagine needing a nigga. But I want and I need him. And that reality is freaking me the hell out. I Love Niggas because when Niggas put their mind to it, shit be incredible. whiteness is constant mediocrity. All facts and I am saying this with my chest. Feelin’ myself is playing and what a mood. I am feelin’ myself. Anyway after talking to the King of Salone, I had dreams about him. Trippy ones too. Days like today, I remember that I am my favorite person on this planet. Like, I am so grateful the Creator chose me to be exactly how I am in this exact timeline because LAWD. What a time/vibe it is to be alive. I am a brown skin ting with brown eyes, brown hair, big yiddies and a fattie behind. I am East African with a matching forehead. I am smart, funny, witty, wholesome and chaotic. I am LOVE and I am LOVED. I am babygworl and the baddest man that ever did Live all in the same breath. Don’t play with me. I did not come to play in this lifetime, I came to slay and I came to play. I am literally the definition of what waist? If it wasn;t for my waist beads yall wouldnt be able to identify my waist line. Mscchheewww…half of yall never deserved my presence and you know it too. LMAO, lemme chill. Everyone deserves a likkle bit of King Kxndi. Anyway, DMX's ruff ryders anthem just played and this is my cue to go. 11 yr old me LOVED this song, I wanted to be tatted up like Eve. See me now. 

Anyway, lemme go enjoy this chune and reminisce on DMX. Life is SOOOOOOO Gøod. I am Gøod. Magik is Gøod. Accountability is Gøod. Self Love is Gøod. Art is Gøod.

Ase. Ase. Ase.

[moonchildstyles]

that “🤕” anon will be the death of me. their asks are always soooo 🫦 like keep at it babe i’m loving it

also i agree w anon. miss moon is one of the best there is on here i’m serious i love ur writing and account sm. it’s always a joy to visit and read thru ur page whenever i have the time

yeah 🤕 bestie is clinically insane but they've changed my life:)))))))))

but omg thank you so much really it means sooooooo much to me that you guys enjoy like being here on my page and like my writing and have taken the time to like get to know me and hang out and everything really it means so much to me :(

[sleepingsun501]

Ohhhhhhh my fucking god KARRDE!!

Now that I’ve had time to process this… I AM STILL SCREAMING!! Even watching you go through the process of writing this absolute masterpiece, I knew it was going to be incredible. Now it’s literally one of the hottest things I have ever read and I love every single bit of it!! The way each of them has their own relationship with Bolts and their unique personalities shining through when they’re with her is so beautifully portrayed. I could write a book about how much I love this, but I’ll try to keep my insane ramblings condensed below:

I am undeniably in love with Crater. I think “molten” is the perfect word to describe him. Crater is just so hot and in control, but he’s observant and careful, too, and I love that he knows what Bolts needs and when to back off. The way he made sure everyone knew the rules, and he made her reassure him that she wasn’t going to push herself—my heart just soared. Also, his being so possessive over her ass had me sweating, but then being so gentle and comforting and praising with her whenever she was DP’d solidified me as a Crater girlie for life. He’s the perfect example of what a good dom should be, and I’d fuck him into next week.

Gregor still getting under Bolts’ skin but fucking her so expertly and demanding her attention when it’s just him had me blushing. They are so unhinged together, but I can totally see him being perfectly rough and taking her apart piece by piece. But I also love how he becomes so undone because of her, and the dirty talk from him was sublime. The bits toward the end when he got softer with her as she needed it and as he worked his frustration out was spot on, too. I loved their little “I don’t hate you” moment because it shows that, despite everything, they still care about each other in their own way.

I am absolutely here for Chuckles and Bolts tho. I’m just going to refer to them as “Buckles” from now on because I ship them so hard. They are so in love and it’s so fucking adorable!! I love how much they’ve just been yearning for each other, but how Chuckles isn’t jealous and wants her to keep Crater and Gregor around if she wants them, too. And holy fucking hell, the way he spit in her mouth… literally the hottest possible thing he could have done in that moment. I’m not surprised Bolts almost passed out from it because I almost did. My jaw was on the floor and I was squealing and kicking my feet. But he’s still sooooooo tender and his confession of his feelings made me want to smother him with kisses and snuggles and then fuck him in the cockpit of his Z-95 till he can’t walk.

Seriously babes, BRAVO!! This is some of the most deliciously indulgent smut I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I’m so lucky to know you, and I love you so fucking much!! Thank you so much for creating Chuckles, Crater, and Bolts, and blessing us with this masterpiece!!

Part 4: The Blitz

A/N: ALRIGHT. HERE IT IS. THE FINAL PART THAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (I think). I may go back and rewrite the first part to give Gregor a bit more attention, but HERE IT IS. HEED THE WARNINGS. As always, thank you so much to the outstanding @teletraan-meets-jarvis for beta-reading for me!

Previous: Part 3: The Jester

Fic Rating: E (18+ MINORS SKEEDADDLE)

Warnings: multiple partners (no cl*necest), dom/sub dynamics, spanking, fingering, rough sex, orgasm denial, anal play, oral sex, PiV sex, marking, anal sex, sex toy use, cum eating, spitting, double penetration, language, confession of feelings, Gregor continuing to get under Bolt's skin

Word Count: 14.5k words

You saunter forward, swaying your hips far more than necessary as you slowly walk back to your office door. You can hear Gregor, Crater, and Chuckles walking behind you, speaking in muted voices to one another. You don’t look backwards, but just the fact that the three of them are following you to your bedroom with the intention of pulling you apart one fiber at a time sends heat shooting through your body. 

You’re about ten yards from your door when warm hands suddenly grab you from behind, squeezing your breasts and ass as Gregor’s throaty chuckle rumbles in your ear. He pulls you closer to him, and you stumble, but he keeps you upright, sucking a mark on your neck. 

“Didn’t think I’d miss this as much as I did, but Maker, I thought about your pussy nearly every night.” 

“Just my pussy?”

“Alright, maybe your ass too.” 

You roll your eyes at him and huff a laugh, but let him guide you towards the door panel. His fingers are playing with the lace of your bra as you struggle to get the door to your office unlocked. 

“Who knew this was what you looked like with your clothes off?” he rasps, and you can feel his eyes roving over you. You stick your ass out slightly, wiggling it enticingly, and that earns you a sharp slap across your backside from him. You brace yourself against the door, biting your lip to stifle a moan as he rubs and squeezes the reddening skin. 

“I thought you two had already fucked,” Chuckles notes, his eyes locked on the mark Gregor’s hand left on your backside. 

“Oh, we did. But you see, Bolts here is impatient,” Gregor teases, twisting the lace of your panties around one finger. “Never made it to a proper bed. First few times, we barely made it to that alley near 79s. Bolts damn near bruised her knees trying to suck my cock in there once. And then, it was just a matter of pulling her dress up enough to fuck her against the wall there with one hand clamped over her mouth. She’s so loud.” 

“You’re one to talk,” you mutter, and he spanks you again.

“Closest we got to a bedroom was a taxi ride back to her place,” Gregor continues, as if you’re not quivering under his palm that’s rubbing your asscheek, “but Bolts here fucked me in the cab before we even got there. Couldn’t even wait, just climbed into my lap and pulled her panties to the side. She stumbled out with my seed still dribbling down her legs when we got to her place, filthy thing. Told me to just fuck off back to the barracks, so I did. Fairly certain we traumatized the droid driving.” He giggles, and somehow, you finally manage to get the door open. 

Gregor pushes you inside, coaxing you towards the desk. You try to bend over it, figuring you know what he wants, but he easily flips you onto your back and leans over you, his arms caging you in. “Lay back, love.” 

You tremble, but obey as he pulls your office chair to the edge of the desk. Reaching down, he twists his fingers in your panties again, yanking them roughly down your legs. You’re positive you hear at least a few seams tear, but they’re more intact than you thought they’d be as he tosses them on the floor. He sits, scooping under your ass and yanking your hips towards him until you can feel his hot breath on your glistening folds. 

He sits down in your chair and glances up at you from between your parted knees, smirking at you. You can’t help but think that he looks as though he’s about to gorge himself on a five-course meal, his tongue grazing his lower lip as he takes you in, his hands resting on the inside of your knees with just enough force to keep them apart. You quiver and clench, and the commando smirks triumphantly at your reaction to him.

“She doesn’t get to cum. Not for a while,” Crater warns, tossing your jumpsuit and boots aside. Chuckles is the last one in, shutting and locking the door behind him. 

“Been dying to taste you, love. Want to see how these lips feel on my tongue,” Gregor rasps, his fingers brushing against your clit. Your hips attempt to jump off the table at the contact, but he grabs you, pinning them in place. You whine. 

“Now, none of that,” he chides before leaning down and biting the inside of your thigh, sucking a bruise there. You yelp and try to pull away instinctively, but he’s got you pinned. All you can do is wriggle helplessly. Your eyes dart to Crater, who’s leaning against the doorway watching. There’s no mercy in his gaze. Chuckles’s eyes are wide, his lips parted as he watches Gregor nip you again. 

“FUCK!” you cry out. 

“Language,” Gregor scolds, slapping the inside of your thigh, and you wince again. “Such a filthy mouth all of the time.” 

“She’s not known for her manners,” Crater agrees. 

Gregor hums, and without further commentary, plunges his tongue into your pussy. You wriggle, but he holds you down, eating you out like a man that’s been starved, groaning against your clit. 

“Gods, Gregor. FUCK,” you moan, your back arching off of the desk. Your head dangles over the opposite side, and when you lift it, Gregor’s eyes are watching you intently as he sucks your clit. He’s brutal and rough but every part of your body is craving more, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of admitting it. You try to keep your face from convulsing in pleasure, but you fail as he plunges his tongue back into you, wriggling the muscle as his nose brushes your clit and causes you to gasp airily. 

“You fucking asshole,” you whine, trying to keep your composure. He bites the inside of your other thigh, leaving yet another bruise and you scream. 

Crater comes around to the other side of the desk, standing over where your head is dangling over the side of the desk. “If you’d like to run your mouth, I can find a different use for it, pretty girl.” Just then, Gregor bites you once more, and you shout again.

“FUCK!”

Crater leans down to speak directly into your ear. 

“Color?”

“G-green,” you stutter out. 

“Good girl.” He straightens, rolling down his pants and letting his cock spring free. Without any preamble, he grips your throat and taps his cock against your chin once, twice, before he feeds it into your mouth. Reaching forward, he grabs one of your hands and places it on his thigh, a silent reminder to tap out if it all becomes too much. 

But you’re just getting started. 

Gregor flicks your clit with his tongue, and you groan around Crater’s cock. He thrusts shallowly past your lips, pressing deeper into your throat with each pass until you’re starting to gag. But he knows to keep going; you’ll tap if you need it. He thrusts lazily into your mouth, and your jaw stretches around him. You know Chuckles is watching you, and something about that makes you twitch and shudder even more. You can’t look at him with the way Crater’s got you pinned, but you can feel Chuck’s eyes on you, and it makes you need him more. The grip on your throat tightens, and Crater keeps going, finally holding himself in the back of your throat. 

“Swallow,” he grits out. You do, and he groans. “There’s a good girl.” Reaching forward, he slides his hand underneath you and unclasps your bra, pulling it off of you. He examines the charm as he backs out of your mouth slightly, just leaving the head of his cock inside your lips. You run your tongue over the head, and he grunts. “This is pretty. See, you can follow directions.” He tosses the bra and pulls himself out of your mouth with a pop. Gregor stills, raising his slicked chin up and looking at Crater. You turn and finally are able to look at Chuckles. His eyes are blown wide with lust, dark as night as he watches you wipe some of the saliva from where it’s dribbled over your cheeks.

“I think that’s enough out here,” Crater comments. “Gregor, Chuckles, go get things set up in the back room. Put the mattress on the floor with the bedrolls. I’m going to stretch out her ass and then we’ll get started.” 

You shiver at the way he talks about you. Gregor wipes his chin on the back of his hand, grinning down at you before he and Chuckles retreat to the back room where your apartment is. Crater turns back to you, gently taking your hands and pulling you to a sitting position on the edge of the desk. He wipes more saliva from your chin tenderly, as if it wasn’t his cock that smeared it there a few moments before. You manage to grin cheekily at him, but he grips your chin between his fingers. 

“I need you to be serious for a moment,” he says quietly, his eyes searching yours. “I’ve spoken with them about the rules, about cleanliness and your boundaries, but I want to make sure you understand that this is going to be intense. You’re going to get exactly what you asked for, but if I see you dropping and you not tapping out, I’m going to call it. Do you understand?” 

You giggle, but the grip on your chin tightens. Crater whispers your name, your real name, and that sobers you. 

“People sometimes misjudge their desires in these scenarios. I trust both of them to not push you, but I need to know you won’t push yourself beyond your limits, Bolts. If you can’t even handle reassuring me right now, then this can’t happen.” 

You notice Chuckles watching the two of you from the doorway, and when you catch his eye, he looks away. Your stomach flutters again, but you obediently meet Crater’s gaze. You appreciate what he’s doing here. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t apprehensive, but your eagerness and want outweigh that by a long shot. You do trust these men, and you want them, but to you, above all, being able to walk away with your relationships intact is what is most important to you. These men have to trust you to do your job, to keep their fighters and transports working, and by extension, their lives safe. If you betray their trust, even in this setting, you know that puts that in peril, and that’s not something you’re willing to do. 

“I understand, Crater. If I feel that I’m being pushed too hard, I’ll tap out. And I trust you to do the same if you see me slipping. You’ve got more experience here, and I trust you to look out for me.” You dip your chin, pressing a kiss to the pad of his thumb. 

Crater watches you for another moment before pressing a kiss to your forehead. It’s tender, and then you feel him grip your hair, signaling the transition to you. You’re ready for it. 

“Over the desk, pretty girl. Need to get you ready.” 

You quiver with anticipation as you do as you’re told, wiggling your ass playfully at Crater. You hear the rustle of fabric, and he tosses his shirt on the desk next to you before he digs through the same drawer for the lube he used earlier in the day. He taps the plug in your ass, moving it in and out of you slightly. Your cunt was already sopping thanks to Gregor’s tongue, but now, you feel yourself dribbling down your thighs, the cool air hitting the trails across your skin. 

“Messy little thing,” Crater comments as he removes the plug, setting it on the desk next to you. You hear the click of the lube bottle, and suddenly, fingers are prodding at your asshole, slowly easing into you. The past few weeks with Crater have made it easier for you to take him, and soon, he’s adding a third finger, working you open. Your fingernails dig into the wood of the desk, and you watch his shadow on the wall. He straightens, his head dipping down, and you know he has to be looking at how you’re stretched around him. Your cunt clenches around nothing. His fingers slide from you, and the bottle clicks again. 

“Color?” 

“Green.” 

He hums in acknowledgement, and you hear the sound of him slicking his cock behind you. You keep your eyes forward, legs trembling in anticipation. You’re wound so tightly, you jump slightly when one of his hands spreads your ass, and you feel the head of his cock notch at your entrance, slowly easing in. Your back arches and you moan as he carefully thrusts into you, hands finally slipping around to grip your hips as he stretches your insides to accommodate him. He’s careful, letting you thrust back into him when you’re ready for more, and it only takes a few minutes for him to fully sheathe himself in your ass. You’re accustomed to the feel of him now, but you’ll never get used to it. It’s foreign and filthy and you’re desperate for more as he slowly drags himself out of you before sliding home once more. 

“You’re doing so well,” he praises, voice taut. “You’re going to be so good for us tonight, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” you gasp out. “So good. Give you everything.”

Crater’s thrusts are faster now, consistently reaching as deep as he can inside of you with ease. His fingers dig into your hips, and you feel your body jostle with every powerful snap of his hips. Every nerve is screaming for release, and you feel the edge of the desk digging into the front of your thighs. You wonder if Chuckles is watching, knowing he’s going to get to have you as well. The thought makes you clench around Crater, and he spanks you in warning, leaving you keening with the first red handprint of the evening from him. You quiver as he leans over you. 

“Don’t get greedy,” he snarls. “You’ll get plenty of cum tonight, but not before I’m ready.” He pulls out of you abruptly, and you yelp at the sudden emptiness. With his clean hand, he pulls you off the desk roughly by your arm, and quickly guides you to your room. 

The lamp is on in the corner, casting the room in a dim glow. Your mattress and pillows have been moved to the floor, surrounded by the two bedrolls that Crater and Gregor brought with them. Gregor and Chuckles are in the corner, both stripped of their shirts and boots, talking quietly to one another. The conversation ends when Crater drags you inside, and they watch you with a hunger that makes your empty cunt flutter. 

“On your knees,” Crater growls in your ear, shoving you towards the mattress. You fall forward on your hands and knees, panting and glaring at Crater as he turns to address Chuckles and Gregor. “She’s ready. I’m going to clean myself off. Don’t start without me and don’t let her touch herself.” He disappears into the fresher without even looking at you again. 

Gregor whispers something else to Chuckles you can’t hear, and the pilot breaks out into a wicked grin. They stride over to you, circling you as you kneel on the mattress. You raise an eyebrow at Gregor, and he winks at you cheekily. 

“Where do you think you’ll take her first?” Chuckles asks. 

“Oh, I’ve been dreaming about that tight little cunt for weeks,” Gregor snickers. “Think I’ll have a go there first. But I really want to sample the road less traveled.” 

Your face flushes with heat as Chuckles comes to a stop behind you. “If it’s tighter than her pussy, I won’t last long.”

“Well, the plan is to fill her. Think we can all manage to finish in all three holes?” 

You inhale sharply at the thought. 

“Oh, she likes that,” Gregor titters, squatting down next to you, slipping a finger under your chin to force you to meet his eyes. “That what you want, love? I’d bet we could even do more. Fill your belly, your pussy, and your ass. Have you dripping with us.”

You can feel your pulse between your legs, throbbing with every heartbeat. Chuckles comes around to your side, and you see he has his pants rolled down enough to pull his cock out, which he’s stroking languidly. You know it’s already been inside of you, but your mouth waters at the sight. His thumb smears the droplet of precum that shines on the head, and Maker help you, you salivate. Chuckles’s teeth gleam as he grins down at you. 

“Look how desperate she is. You want this, don’t you?”

You meet his gaze, your mouth suddenly bone dry and your tongue heavy. “Yes,” you whisper. 

The sink shuts off in your ‘fresher and Crater emerges, toweling his hands off. You can see the head of his cock tucked into the waistband of his pants, and he smirks as he notices you staring. He strips off his pants, and the other two follow his lead, encircling you once they’re fully bare. Your mouth falls open as you take each of them in. 

Gregor’s toned and lithe like Crater, but he has massive burn scars covering a good portion of his torso and arms. You knew he’d been blown up on Abafar, but you’d never realized just how lucky he was. But what your eyes are most drawn to are his thighs. You’ve ridden them before of course, but somehow they look even thicker without his pants covering them. He grins down at you. 

Chuckles is a little more stocky in build than his brothers. His shoulders are massive, but his tummy is softer, trailing down to thick legs and calves. His torso is also littered with scars, but they seem less jagged and more surgical in nature. You figure that’s where the medics operated on him after his accident, trying to piece him back together. When he turns, you catch sight of his tattoo. He’d told you before that he’d gotten the Headhunter’s flight computer PCB layout tattooed, and you’d always imagined it as a silly thing, but it’s not strictly a schematic. The lines that represent the recognizable traces weave down the left side of his back, but there’s artistry that makes it beautiful. Someone spent time on it, and you briefly wonder which brother crafted it for him. Whereas the others seem confident at being laid bare to you, there’s some hesitance in Chuckles’s eyes, as if he’s afraid of what your opinion of him will be. You smile softly at him, and his shoulders drop slightly. You note a splotchy black mark on his right ass cheek, and you raise an eyebrow. 

“That’s a weird birthmark.”

He shrugs, apparently not feeling the need to elaborate further. You make a mental note to press the issue later.

“Before we begin, remember the rules,” Crater states, bringing you out of your pondering about Chuckles’s body. You feel a buzz of anticipation permeate the air between the four of you, understanding that Crater’s speech is coming just before everything becomes intense and debauched. You appreciate him drawing this imaginary line in the sand for you, but you’re also ready to leap over it. You shift as he turns to address his brothers. “You two, what are your hard no’s?” Gregor has a list ready. Of course he does. Chuckles has to think a bit more, but comes up with some. 

And then Crater turns to you. You recite your list. Crater nods. 

“Color definitions?” 

You rattle those off too. 

“And nonverbal?” 

“Three taps.” You reach out, tapping against Chuckles and Gregor’s thighs in demonstration. Chuck shudders at your touch. Gregor looks as though he’s going to devour you again. 

Crater steps forward. “Go to work then, pretty girl. Get us ready.” His hand comes to rest on the top of your head pushing you towards his cock. You can still smell the soap he just used to vigorously clean himself as you take the head of him between your lips, suckling gently. Gregor guides your left hand to his shaft, and you let him wrap your fingers around him, gripping tightly as he moves your hand in time with his thrusts. You reach with your other hand for Chuckles, and he takes your invitation, quickly moving to fill your other palm. 

Crater’s stare is blazing, setting your skin alight as he thrusts into your mouth. After a few moments, he grips your hair, slowing your bobbing along his length. “Don’t be rude. You can’t neglect your guests, pretty girl.” 

You grin, saliva coating your chin again, and you turn to Chuckles, maintaining eye contact as you run your tongue from his base to his tip before taking him to the back of your throat and swallowing. His hands immediately fly to your hair as his head tips back and he moans. You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat and his muscles strain, and you hum. His hips jolt, and you gag. He tries to back out, but you push forward until you gag again, opening your throat and lips as you choke yourself on him. He follows your lead, and you feel him throb against your tongue.

And then you turn to Gregor, pumping Crater and Chuckles’s wet cocks as you kiss the head of the commando’s hardened member. He’s in no mood to be teased, gripping your hair roughly. You giggle, but he yanks, and the pain draws a gasp from you, tears leaping to your eyes. He taps his cock against your lips, and when you stick your tongue out to chase it, he smears saliva all over your chin and cheeks with it. 

“Such a sloppy mess,” he rasps. And then he thrusts into your mouth, burying your nose in the curls that halo his base and holding you there. When he finally relents, he pulls you off of him, and you gasp, suddenly able to breathe again. A line of spit connects your lips to his cock, and he chuckles darkly. 

“Filthy girl.”

You alternate between the three of them, letting them take what they want from you as their cocks grow progressively harder. Sweat and saliva dribbles down your chin, but you can’t be bothered to care, more concerned with relaxing your throat and ignoring the ache in your jaw. 

Finally, Gregor grants you a reprieve, pushing you onto your back on the mattress. 

“Missed this pussy,” he rasps, kneeling between your legs. “Going to fill you here first I think.” He taps the head of his cock against your clit before rubbing it through your slick folds and giggling. “You’re still soaked, love. Who knew you loved sucking cock so much?” You roll your eyes, but he ignores you, adjusting you to his liking before tipping forward on one hand and guiding himself into you with the other. It only takes a few shallow thrusts for him to completely bury himself to the hilt in you, and you moan. You’ll never admit it, but you’ve missed the feel of him inside of you.

“Seems Chuckles prepared you to take me, but I’m going to be the first to paint your walls,” he grunts, slowly beginning to drag himself in and out of you. You can’t keep your eyes on him for long though as Crater kneels near your shoulder, pushing your head down to the mattress by your throat. You clench around Gregor as Crater straddles your face. 

The captain of the 28th Wing knows you love it when he fucks your mouth like this, and it seems at least for tonight, he’s not going to make you beg for it. You love him using your tongue and lips, love seeing his abdomen flex as he fucks you without abandon. Something about knowing this is what your pussy sees when he fucks you drives you wild, and he tips his weight forward, sliding his hand behind your head, and he lets himself get lost in you, taking what he wants from your warm, wet tongue and mouth. 

Your eyes dart over to where Chuckles is watching, and you can see he’s absolutely wrecked. He scoots closer and Crater moves forward to give him more room. Chuckles’s mohawk dips out of sight, and you suddenly feel a warm mouth on your breast, sucking gently on your nipple before a tongue flicks it. Your back arches, and a warm, calloused hand clasps your other breast and squeezes. Chuckles gently bites at your tender flesh, leaving the first of the marks he’d promised. 

You want more. 

Gregor moans as you clench around him, and you feel a thumb press against your clit. Your muscles begin to tighten as Gregor nudges you towards the edge, and he giggles when he feels you squeeze him. “Think she’s close, Crate. Has she earned it yet?” 

Crater is sweating as he thrusts into your mouth, grunting with every jerk of his hips. Spit is sliding down your cheeks as you look up at him with pleading eyes. He grips the hair on the top of your head, watching you. 

“You think you’ve earned it after the stunt you pulled with Chuckles?” 

You try to beg and plead, but it comes out garbled around his cock. 

“What was that, pretty girl?” 

Your eyes are watering, and you try again. You know it’s useless, but your cunt begins to tighten from Gregor’s relentless thrusts and circles on your clit. Gregor pulls his hand away when he feels it, and you whine around Crater’s cock, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you dangle on the edge. Chuckles seems to almost redouble his effort on your breasts, and you feel the vibration of him moaning against your skin. 

“I think we all get to cum first, and then she can have it,” Crater decides, and you sob, which only makes him pitch his hips deeper into your throat. You sputter. 

“Fair enough,” Gregor moans. “I’m close as it is. This sweet little pussy is just as soft and warm as I remember.” 

You whine, and Crater lightly taps your cheek. 

“I did tell you to behave. Now, make me cum down your throat, and you’ll be one step closer to getting what you want.”

You increase your efforts on his cock, driving it to the back of your throat and swallowing in the way you know Crater likes. He watches you with parted lips as you bob your head frantically. He eventually lays more of his weight onto your face, thrusting into you harder until you feel his balls begin to tighten against your chin. 

“Almost there, pretty girl. Be good and take it all, yeah?” 

You gurgle around him in acknowledgement, and that’s all it takes. His hips stutter as he fills your throat. He’s salty and warm and familiar, and you wait for him to get off of you, holding his cum in your mouth. He sees what you’re doing. 

“Go ahead and show them then.” He almost sounds proud. 

You meet Gregor’s eyes and open your mouth, showing him the warm, white coating on your tongue. 

Gregor inhales sharply and cums hard. You feel warmth fill your insides, and you squeeze as he pulses again. 

“Fuck, love. S-so good. So fucking hot like that.” It’s the first time you’ve heard him stammer, and you can’t help but grin as he slips from you.

“Swallow,” Crater pants in your ear. You obey, opening your mouth and showing him your tongue as proof of your compliance. 

“Good girl.”   

Chuckles grunts next to you, scooting closer as he jerks his cock wildly. You prop yourself up on your elbows and meet his gaze as he empties himself across your breasts. 

“F-fuck, Bolts.” 

You keep your gaze locked on his as you swipe your finger through his spend, bringing it to your mouth and sucking. His lips fall open, and he repeats the motion, sliding his thumb through the sticky white smear and offering it to you. You take it, moaning around his digit. He’s different from Crater, slightly sweeter somehow. 

You want more of him. 

Rolling over, you gently take his spent cock in your mouth, cleaning it with your tongue. It leaps in response almost immediately, twitching as Chuckles groans. 

“M-maker. So good. Gentle. Good. Oh, fuck.” 

He’s hard again in a matter of minutes. You’d suck him dry if he’d let you, but he has other plans, rolling you onto your knees. 

“Want your ass,” he rasps. 

You drop onto your elbows, glancing over your shoulder as he kneels behind you. You feel some of Gregor’s spend leak out of you, warmth dribbling out of your cunt and down the inside of your thighs. Crater tosses Chuckles the bottle of lube, and you hear the top click open.

“Get her nice and slick,” Crater says softly. You appreciate his direction, although you weren’t particularly concerned. Fingers press into you, coating your asshole, and you bury your head in the crook of your elbow, moaning as Chuckles works you back open. 

“Fuck, she’s so tight. Definitely won’t last long fucking her here.”

You feel the mattress dip, and you glance up to see Gregor kneeling next to you. “I’m taking you there next. Best get me ready.”

“Already?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that a complaint?” he rasps. 

“Just always thought you were more of a one and done,” you snipe. 

He grins, but grips your hair tightly. “You’d know different if you weren’t in such a rush all the time.” You glower as he taps his cock against your cheek, but then you feel Chuckles press into your ass, carefully thrusting in and out, and your mouth falls open. Gregor takes advantage, pressing past your tongue. You glare at him, but can only keep your gaze heated for another second as Chuckles slowly presses into you again. Your eyes roll back into your head, but Gregor keeps your head suspended, driving the head of his cock into your cheek and slapping you lightly. 

“That’s it. Take it all, love.” 

Crater is watching you from the corner, sitting on one of your storage containers as he watches his brothers have you. He’s speaking quietly to Chuckles, but you can’t hear it over the roar of blood in your ears. You think he might be coaching him to let you set the pace, so you eventually thrust back against him slightly, and he follows your lead until he’s buried completely in your ass, loosing a string of curses and praises that all sound muted to you. He begins thrusting in long, gradual strokes, and you can feel his head catching at your entrance every time before he slides back in and his hips meet your ass again. 

“Such a good girl,” Gregor praises, petting your hair as he presses against the back of your throat. “So pretty with two cocks in you. You love this don’t you? Being used like this?” You moan, and Gregor pulls you off of him, grinning as he stares down at you panting. 

“Want to cum in your ass next. Can’t let you get me off too quickly.” 

Your head drops back down to the mattress, and you get lost in the feeling of Chuckles fucking your ass. He increases his pace, leaning further over you until he’s practically mounted you, ramming his hips against you with every thrust.

“Maker, you’re so fucking tight,” he grunts in your ear. “I’ll never get enough of this ass, Bolts. I’m going to fuck you as many times as I can tonight. Until you can’t take a step tomorrow without thinking of my cock buried inside of you. Tell me who’s in your ass right now, sweetheart.”

“Y-you are, Chuckles,” you stutter out. 

“That’s right.” You feel him pulse as you stroke his ego. “Say my name again.”

“Ch-Chuckles.” 

“Yeah. You’re mine.”

He’s forward and possessive, and you love it. He’s draped over you, and you can feel his warmth as his tongue traces along your shoulder before he digs his teeth in. You’ve never cum from having only your ass filled, but you’re close right now, teetering on the edge. They’ve wound you up perfectly, tightening the coil, and you worry it might stay like that forever until Chuckles sits up, pulling you against his chest by your arms. He’s fucking into your ass roughly, and you’re sobbing and pleading for release. You’re not sure what you’re saying or if it’s even coherent, but Gregor is staring at you with a smirk that makes you want to sob.

“She’s so pretty when she begs,” Gregor notes. “So polite too. Suddenly knows the word ‘please’.” 

Crater kneels next to you, and you lock eyes with him, desperately trying to form an understandable sentence. “P-p-please, sir. Please let me cum.” You sound pathetic, but you don’t care. Your body is screaming for release, and there’s not a single thing you wouldn’t do to get it. Crater watches you for another few seconds before he slips his fingers between your legs, rubbing your clit with just the perfect amount of pressure. 

“Cum for us pretty girl,” he whispers in your ear, breath hot against your skin. “And don’t forget to say ‘thank you’.” 

Fireworks explode in your vision and you scream as you topple over the edge. You must clench around Chuckles, because his hips stutter, and he buries himself in your ass, falling forward as he fills you with spurt after spurt of his cum. You’re vaguely aware of him kissing your shoulder right next to the bruise he left as he came, and you whine as he slips from you. 

Hair is pushed out of your face, and hot breath brushes your cheek. 

“Color?” Crater asks quietly. 

“Green,” you pant. “And thank you, sir.” 

He huffs a laugh.  

You shiver as Chuckles’s warmth vanishes, but it’s mere seconds before Gregor takes his place, slotting your thighs between his, parting your asscheeks, and sinking into you with a groan as he drives Chuckles’s spend back out of you.

You lose track of time as they take you again and again. You’re never completely empty, one of them slipping into your mouth as another pants between your legs, pushing the cum of the previous participant out of your swollen cunt or asshole. Sometimes they finish, sometimes they don’t, moving on to sample another part of you. Your skin is slick, although at this point, you can no longer differentiate with what. 

Crater is the same as he always is, carefully monitoring you and commanding as he dictates your pleasure. He’s the one that you have to plead with when your body tightens with an impending orgasm, and he’s the one that always grants your release, either taking it himself or nodding at his brothers to push you over the edge. He grips your throat, whispering praise in your ear as he fucks you, and somehow, it feels different. He’s focused on you, of course, but he’s also taking what he needs, allowing himself to cum whenever he needs to, knowing another cock will take his place. He paints you inside and out, allowing you to clean his cock and his fingers, cleanliness permitting. 

You can’t get enough. 

The first time he fucks your ass in front of his brothers, Crater’s the most possessive you’ve seen him, as if he’s making a point. He adjusts you in the angle he’s found that makes you shatter in the last few weeks, fingers digging into your hips as he drives into you roughly. Gregor and Chuckles kneel in front of you, stroking their cocks as you alternate between the two of them, choking yourself on them with every one of Crater’s brutal thrusts, barely able to breathe between them pressing into your throat and the screams Crater rips from your lungs. 

“Tell them, pretty girl. Tell them who took you here first.” 

He buries his fingers in your hair, pulling until tears trickle from the corner of your eyes. Your head is pulled upwards, forcing you to look at his brothers. You must be a sight, red-faced, spit dribbling down your chin, sweaty with tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“C-Crater.” 

“Tell them how you begged for it.”

Chuckles strokes his cock faster as he stares down at you. Gregor smirks wickedly. 

“That true, love?” the commando prompts. “Did you beg for the captain to fuck your ass first?”

“Ye-yes,” you stutter out. “Crater fucked my ass first. I-I wanted it. I needed it. W-wanted to feel his cock in my ass. Wanted h-him to claim me.” 

“Tell them who this ass belonged to first.”

“Crater. My ass belonged to C-Crater f-f-first.” 

“Good girl,” the captain praises as he guides your mouth back to Gregor’s cock before redoubling his efforts. You cum screaming around Gregor, and he empties down your throat with a grunt. 

When he’s not fucking you, Crater’s intently watching you and his brothers, making sure that anyone that takes your ass cleans themself off before taking you again, making sure you’re present and eager at all times. You appreciate his careful gaze, but you know you’re far from being ready to stop anything.

Gregor on the other hand is frantic and unrefined, clearly working through whatever the last few months inflicted upon him. He’s rough, gripping you tightly as he uses you, grunting and swearing under his breath. Your cunt is clearly his favorite, and he drives into you with echoing slapping sounds, driving spend back out of you with every thrust. He wants you on your hands and knees or prone most times, wants to mount you and manipulate your body how he needs it, and in spite of the heated words you toss back at him, you’re more than malleable in his grasp. Despite your conflicted relationship, Gregor knows how to make you scream, and he takes advantage of that at every turn until your throat feels raw. 

The commando wants your attention at all times, relishing in how you come undone with him inside you. At one point, he’s got you nearly folded in half on your back, but your gaze drifts to where Chuckles and Crater are talking in hushed voices in the corner. The two of them are speaking too quietly for you to hear, their gazes locked on you as Gregor fucks you. You strain to catch what they’re saying before a strong hand grabs your jaw, squeezing firmly enough to part your lips, turning your head back to meet Gregor’s gaze. 

“Now love, I’m the one fucking you, so I expect your undivided attention. Understood?” 

You’re defiant at first, rolling your eyes until he delivers a searing slap to your clit. You arch your back, yelping as he grips your jaw again. 

“I said, understood?”

“Yes sir,” you whine. 

He laughs, but it’s darker than the trademark hoarse giggle you’ve come to associate with him. “I think I like it when you call me ‘sir’.” 

His fingers dig in to the flesh of your hips, leaving fresh bruises alongside Crater’s fading ones, but more than anything, he loves to spank you while he fucks you. Both of your asscheeks are red and stinging each time he finishes, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t egg him on just a little. Crater watches carefully, seeming to understand what’s going on and frequently checking in on you, cradling your face in his hands as Gregor takes you from behind. You reassure him every time before begging for him to slip his cock into your mouth. He always obliges, praising you for asking so sweetly.

You crave them. And they keep you full. 

And then there’s Chuckles. 

Crater is molten and Gregor’s scalding, but Chuckles is a warmth that envelops you, blooming within you as you press parted lips against his skin, panting his name like a prayer as he takes you. It’s unexpected and yet familiar in ways you’ll never be able to articulate and are pretty sure you’ll never tire of. 

He’s reverential yet impatient, constantly hovering for the next opportunity to slip inside of you, to claim you in whatever way he can. When he slides his cock between your lips, he wants you to go slowly, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks while he stares at you, watching the way your jaw and lips stretch to accommodate him. He strokes your hair, muttering praises, guiding your hand to touch his body. He savors you as if every second is the last one he’ll spend with you, as though you aren’t counting the seconds until the next time he’s inside of you. He’s greedy, laying atop you and grinding into you for as long as he can hold out before he groans and empties into you again, cradling the back of your head. He’s frantic like his brothers, but it’s different, as though he’s making up for lost time that you both didn’t know you’d missed. 

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t drunk on him, pulling him closer while he’s buried in your cunt, pleading with him not to stop what he’s doing because you’ll never get enough of him. You kiss and suck at every piece of his skin available to you, desperate to have his taste again. He does the same, leaving love bites across your collarbone and on both breasts. You think the sight of those marks spurs him on. For you, it’s his groans and gasps drive you wild, and you find yourself craving them, desperate to hear them fall from his lips, pulled from him by you. 

The second time he empties himself into your pussy, you plead with him to let you clean him again. He obliges, but what remains on his cock isn’t enough for you, and you guide his fingers between your legs, scooping his spend out of you and licking it from his fingertips. His pupils blow wide as he repeats the motion, dragging his fingers through your cum-soaked cunt and watching as your tongue traces his knuckles, cleaning him off. 

“Fuck, Bolts,” he whispers with a gentle veneration that sharply contrasts with your debauched state. When you’re finally sated, he kisses you deeply, tongue tracing yours. He looms over you as you feel your hips being raised with rough hands, Crater you think, slipping back inside of you while Chuckles steals the air from your lungs, his fingers drifting down to play with your clit and draw another moan from you. 

You lose count of the orgasms they pull from you, spiraling higher with each one until they shove you off of the cliff, leaving you a wrung-out, panting mess on your mattress. Your sheets are damp and you know you’ll need to wash them after this, but for the moment, you can’t be bothered to care about the way the fabric sticks to your skin.

“I think she’s ready.” 

You think it’s Crater talking. Hands help raise you to your hands and knees. A straw presses to your lips, and as your vision clears from the haze of your latest orgasm, you see it’s Chuckles. When you finish drinking from the water packet, you kiss his palm. 

“Thank you,” you rasp, mustering a wink. 

“Yeah, she’s ready,” he agrees. His voice is breathy, eager. He’s excited. 

The mattress sinks again as Crater lies on his back, pulling you on top of him so that you’re straddling his hips. He doesn’t even give you time to settle before he pulls you down, impaling you on his cock with a gasp. There’s no resistance at this point in the night, and he bottoms out easily. Your hands fall forward onto his chest, and you realize you’ve never been on top of him before. You clench, grinding on him playfully, but before you can make a snide comment about getting used to this, his hand rockets out, gripping your throat. 

“Don’t get any ideas.” 

You glance over at Chuckles, who’s watching you hungrily, his lip caught between his teeth. He’s already pumping his cock slowly. A hand taps your cheek, and you look back down at Crater as he begins thrusting into you. 

“Eyes on me, pretty girl.” His hand slips back down to your throat and squeezes. You clench instinctively, and he smirks. “Good girl.” 

Crater lets you ride him for a while, grinding against him and bouncing on him until sweat slicks your heated skin. You’re closing in on your next orgasm when he grabs your hip, slowing you. You whine as the coil in your gut loosens. 

“I promise it’ll be worth it,” Crater rasps. Reaching up, he pulls you forward onto his chest before speaking over your shoulder. “Go on, Gregor. She wants to be filled. Let’s give our good girl what she wants.” 

You hear a chuckle from behind you as Gregor kneels down, straddling Crater’s legs. He presses against your spine, arching your back and presenting you to him. Crater’s cock twitches inside of you, and he nips at your ear. His voice carries a tinge of a thrill as he whispers to you. 

“Gonna stuff you full, pretty girl. Just like you wanted. We’re going to use you all at once and fill you. Now, be good and relax for Gregor.” 

You feel Gregor massaging more lube into your already slick asshole, pushing some cum back out of you, and you tremble in Crater’s grip as you feel Gregor’s body get closer to you, the heat radiating off of him.

“Color?” Crater whispers.

“Green.” 

He nods at Gregor, and you feel the head of the commando’s cock brush your asshole. You shiver and whine. Crater thrusts up into you slowly to appease you, massaging the back of your neck. You reach around, spreading your ass for Gregor, and he giggles. 

“She’s so desperate to be filled ,” he snickers. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need, love.” 

And then he enters you. Your back arches even more as Gregor works his way inside of you, a centimeter at a time, thrusting gently in and out of your ass. He’s careful and cautious, a far cry from the man that took you roughly for the first half of the night. You’re appreciative and impatient, but you stay still as you’re stretched around them. Crater holds you tightly to his chest, stroking your hair and whispering praise in your ear as you moan. 

“I can feel you taking him. You’re doing so well. Knew you’d be so good for us. Letting us have all of you like this. Such a good girl. So pretty with two cocks in you. Can’t wait to see Chuckles fill your mouth too.” You whine again, and Gregor gasps. 

“Oh, she liked that.” He grips your hip as he pushes himself further in. “That’s what you want isn’t it? To be completely filled? Knew you were filthy the first night you let me fuck you in that alley, but never imagined you’d be like this, Bolts.” 

You clench again, and he spanks you. The grip on your throat returns, and suddenly Crater’s snarling in your ear. 

“Don’t make me regret letting you have our cocks so soon, pretty girl. Otherwise, we can tie you up with that silk rope and really draw this out. Now, are you going to behave?”

“Yes,” you gasp. “Yes, sir.” 

“Good.” 

Gregor bottoms out, and you groan loudly, clawing at Crater’s shoulders for purchase, attempting to ground yourself as the pleasure takes hold of your every nerve ending. Crater is holding so still, and you can feel the tension in him as Gregor slowly draws almost completely out of you and then thrusts back in. 

“That good, love?”

“S-so good,” you stammer. 

He does it again, stilling as he buries himself in you. Your breath is coming in short gasps. 

You need more.

Crater fists your hair, pulling your head up so that your foreheads are touching. Your mouth is hanging open as he stares into your eyes. “Are you ready?” he grits out.

“Yes. Please. Please fuck me.”

He thrusts his hips slightly, and your eyes roll back in your head as an inhuman moan escapes you. You’re so full. Every inch of your skin prickles with pleasure. It’s perfection and everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ve never been used like this, had your body pressed between two lovers. You never want it to end as you begin to float, basking in the stretch of your body as it accommodates the two men. 

And then Gregor starts moving. The two of them fall into a slow rhythm, Gregor driving into you as Crater drags himself back out. They cue off of each other, picking up the pace until they’re fucking you hard, your body jostling between the two of them. You prop yourself up on your palms, glancing over your shoulder at the man buried in your ass. A strand of Gregor’s normally slicked hair has come loose, hanging in his eyes as he stares down at where his cock is sliding in and out of you. It’s the most disheveled you’ve ever seen him, and it thrills you to know that you’re the reason. You’re making the commando come undone. 

A groan from the corner of the room catches your attention, and you turn your gaze to where Chuckles is leaning against the wall, pumping his cock in time with Gregor’s thrusts.

“Chuck,” you whisper. It’s a plea, one he’s more than willing to reward. He wastes no time in getting to your side, kneeling next to you. Crater readjusts you so that you’re leaned towards the mohawked pilot, and he buries his hand in your hair as he feeds you his cock. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful like this,” he rasps. He’s wrecked. You can see it. You try to concentrate on running your tongue along the base of him as the other two thrust into you, but it’s hard. You find you’re getting lost in the constant drag of the three thick cocks in and out of you, but a sharp tug to your hair grounds you. Tears stream down your cheeks as you look up into Chuckles’s eyes. 

“S-so gorgeous like this. So p-perfect. What a sight you are. Taking three cocks. N-never thought… fuck, like that.”

You hum around him, and his hips jolt, sending his cock to the back of your throat. You’re a disheveled mess, but the way Chuckles is looking at you makes you desperate to please him, desperate to be his. You press him into your throat again and gag. You can see him already getting close, a vein in his temple throbbing as he attempts to hold himself off for at least a little longer.

“You gonna let me fill that throat, sweetheart?” he asks. “Gonna swallow all of it for me like a good girl?” 

You choke again as he presses to the back of your throat, but you don’t tap out, and he keeps going. You know you’ll be hoarse tomorrow, but that’s what you wanted. Chuckles begins to fuck your mouth more roughly. 

You love it. You begin to clench, the coil in your gut tightening as you get lost in the sensation of the three men taking their pleasure from you. They use you, exactly as you wanted and hoped. You’ve surrendered to them, entrusting them with your body and being, and they’re taking all that they need while giving you everything you’d ever fantasized about. You’re bliss embodied, pressed between their warmth as they pull you apart and push you towards yet another orgasm. 

Chuckles twitches against your tongue, and you know he won’t be able to hold out much longer. “G-gonna paint that pretty tongue. You ready?” 

You hum against him once more, and he groans, pulling you off of him and tilting your head back. 

“Open your mouth. Open your f-fucking mouth.” 

You do, sticking out your tongue. Chuckles presses the head of his cock against your lower lip, pumping himself frantically. “S-so fu-cking good,” he grunts as he unleashes himself. You feel the hot, sticky warmth hit your tongue, some landing on your upper lip and painting your cheek. Chuckles groans as you keep your mouth open expectantly. With a shaking hand, he drags his thumb across your cheek, catching his stray cum and smearing it on your tongue. 

You keep your mouth open. 

He stares at you before understanding creeps across his face. He leans down close to you, gripping your jaw. You feel his breath stutter against your skin. Crater and Gregor slow, watching the two of you. All you can see is Chuckles as his gaze flicks to your open mouth, and then your eyes, asking for your final permission. 

“Are you mine?” he whispers. 

You nod. 

Chuckles stares into your eyes as he hollows his cheeks and spits directly into your mouth. 

“Good girl,” he praises. “Now swallow.” 

You do. 

And you cum violently. 

Every inch of your body locks down, and you gasp and whine and moan, as wave after wave crashes over you. Your vision goes blurry as tears leak from your eyes, and you shudder and twitch.  You feel Gregor and Crater both groan. Gregor pulls out and comes across your ass, and Crater’s hips stutter as he empties himself inside of you again. You collapse forward onto his chest, curling into a ball and shivering violently. Warm hands cup your face. 

“Bolts?” 

Crater’s voice sounds so far away. You feel fingers tap your cheek gently. Your eyes flutter open, and you find Crater watching you carefully, searching your gaze with concern. Your pulse is beating against the inside of your skull, and you feel hot and freezing at the same time. You’re gathered into arms and cradled. More than one set of hands moves over you, carefully inspecting and pressing. 

“I’m alright,” you rasp. “But I think I’m done for now.”

“Yes, you are,” Crater whispers against your cheek. “You did so well. I’m so proud of you.” 

“I’m s-sorry. I didn’t ask on the last one. S-snuck up on me,” you stutter. 

“That’s alright,” Crater soothes, his voice gentle and warm. You’re pretty sure his lips are pulling upward in amusement at your apology.

“Did… was it… Bolts…” Chuckles is on your other side, cradling your neck and helping Crater support you. You can see apprehension in his face, worry that he overstepped in those final moments. You grin dopily at him before pulling him down for a kiss. 

“It was perfect,” you whisper. “You were perfect.”

He smiles. 

Crater is quietly watching the two of you, and after a few moments, he leans down to speak quietly to you. “I’m going to give you to Chuckles so we can get you cleaned up. Is that alright?” You nod, and he kisses your forehead before shifting you into Chuckles’s arms. “Hold her and take care of her. I’m going to go get her shower started.”

“I’ll change the sheets while you do that,” Gregor offers. Crater nods. 

Chuckles eases you down, wrapping his arms around you and tucking you against his chest. His heart is thundering, but the steady rhythm soothes you as you tuck yourself closer to him. He places a kiss to the top of your head, inhaling deeply in your hair. The tremors wracking your body begin to subside as you’re enveloped in Chuckles’s arms. 

“Easy, Bolts. I’ve got you,” he whispers into your hair. 

“I know,” you murmur. 

You hear Gregor rummaging around in your storage bin until he finds your only other clean set of sheets. The shower hisses on, and after a few minutes, Crater re-emerges. He and Chuckles guide you to the ‘fresher, helping you into the shower. Your shower isn’t large, but somehow the three of you fit into it. Crater supports you as Chuckles carefully cleans every inch of you. They work together to wash your hair, which is matted from the night’s activities, gentle fingers massaging your scalp. They check you over, ensuring you’re not uncomfortable. You reassure them incessantly until some of your snark returns, which earns you another kiss from Chuckles, playful but clearly intended to shut you up. 

When you’re cleaned to their satisfaction, Gregor is waiting with a towel and wraps you in it as you step out on wobbly legs. He dries your hair with another one as Chuckles and Crater flank you, ensuring you stay on your feet. When he’s done, Gregor leans down and kisses your cheek. stroking your face tenderly. You roll your eyes, but you can’t deny you appreciate his gentleness. 

The three of them lead you to your mattress, which they’ve left on the floor. Crater lets Chuckles lay down with you first, pulling you against him before he lies down next to you, snuggling against your back. Gregor has water waiting and helps you drink. Their warmth soothes you, but something’s shifted. Every touch from Crater is hesitant, and it seems as though he’s waiting for Chuckles’s permission. Finally, they make eye contact over your shoulder, and Chuckles nods at his brother. That seems to relax Crater, as if he were worried he was nearing some sort of unseen boundary. Gregor lies on a bedroll at the head of the mattress, and it’s not long before you hear him drop off, snoring softly. Crater’s breathing fans across the skin between your shoulder blades, and it’s not long before that evens out as well, and his arm subconsciously slips around your waist. 

Chuckles is still awake, although you can hear that his heart has slowed to a steady rhythm from where your face is pressed against his chest. You snuggle into the dip of his shoulder, inhaling his scent as you feel him playing with your hair. You think you hear him murmur something to you, but you can’t make out the words before sleep takes you.

—

You wake in the middle of the night to fingertips digging into the flesh of your hips and grunts and gasps coming from behind you. In your half-awake state, you glance over your shoulder. You’ve rolled over to face Crater, and Chuckles is lying on his side behind you, rutting against your ass with sweat peppering his brow. His lips are slightly parted as he watches his cock stroke between your ass cheeks. 

“‘M sorry,” he whimpers. “You just… fuck you look so good. I tried to just… I’m sorry.” 

His eyes meet yours, pleading and burning into you in the darkness. 

“What do you need?” you whisper, grinding back into him slightly. He’s so worked up, he moans at the contact, his forehead pressing against the back of your neck. 

“C-can I have your ass?” he begs. “Please let me have it.”

You reach behind you, arching your back and spreading yourself to give him more access in silent concession. Chuckles eagerly takes his cue, cock already slick with lube, and he frantically spreads some on your asshole with his fingers, groaning as they slip inside of you easily. You scoot back against him, and he holds his breath as he presses in, unleashing a low, wanton groan as he bottoms out easily. You’re sore from the night’s activities, but the fullness and the feeling of Chuckles’s warmth behind you, his need, it spurs you on, and you press yourself back into him, spearing yourself on his cock. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect. I can’t believe you let me do this to you. Never going to be able to get this out of my head, Bolts,” he groans, his breath fanning across your skin. 

“Don’t have to,” you pant as he slowly drags himself back out of you. “I’m yours, Chuckles. All of me. Whenever you want.”

“You mean that?” he rasps against your shoulder.  

“Yes.” 

He cradles you in his arms as he slowly thrusts in and out of you, whispering against your skin. 

“I’ve wanted to do this forever. Wanted you so badly, but was always afraid you’d tell me to get kriffed. If I’d known, I’d have taken you home that first night at 79s. I’d have had you a million times by now. Every chance I could.” 

You reach behind you, gripping his hip and pulling him into you, and he interlaces his fingers with yours. He presses closer until he’s able to kiss along the back of your neck and your shoulders, and you arch your spine to give him a better angle. A warm hand grips your knee, and you turn to find Crater pulling your leg over his thigh. 

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” he whispers to his brother. 

“She’s fuckin’ gorgeous,” Chuckles agrees. “So soft. So fuckin’ soft and warm.” 

“So good for us,” Crater rasps. 

You whimper as his fingers trace your lips before his hands find their way to your breasts, tweaking your nipples and making you keen in Chuck’s grasp. 

“What do you need, pretty girl? Tell me, and I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

Your brain is buzzing, completely lost in the way Chuckles feels inside you and the way Crater is looking at you, hungry and interested and wanting. You try to wet your lips, attempting to answer his question, but Chuckles thrusts into you again, and you gasp instead. Crater cups your jaw, watching as your brows furrow in pleasure. His eyes dart over your shoulder, and Chuckles nods at him. Having whatever permission he felt he needed, Crater kisses you. His beard scratches against your skin as his tongue slides past your lips, and you sob as his fingers find your clit. He swallows every moan and gasp, eventually moving along your jaw, sucking marks on your neck where your jumpsuit will cover it. 

Chuckles grips you harder but keeps his pace slow, every ridge of his cock stroking your insides as he buries himself inside of you once more. 

“Do you want Crater to fill you again, sweetheart? You want us both to take you again?” 

All you can manage is a nod. 

Crater nibbles along your collarbone. “Need to hear you ask, Bolts.”

You manage to gasp out a single word. 

“Please.”

Crater pulls your leg further over his hip, and Chuckles adjusts to give him room. You feel fingers drag through your folds before the hot, blunt head of Crater’s cock presses against you. You squirm, trying to drive him into you too. 

“Shhhh easy, pretty girl. Gonna be gentle and go slow.”

“She’s so impatient,” Chuckles teases from behind you. “You just want our cocks that badly, gorgeous?”

“Please,” you beg again, your voice a hoarse whine. 

Crater’s knuckles graze you again as he notches his head at your entrance and presses into you. His eyes flutter closed as he moans, shallowly thrusting into you until he finally buries himself in your heat. 

The two of them fuck you slowly, their hands roaming your body, reverently tracing your skin, playing with your breasts and nipples, readjusting you or holding your legs open. They praise you, worshiping your body with gentle touches and reverent words. 

“So perfect for us,” Crater rasps as his cock slides into you again. “Such a good girl.” 

“Like the Maker created you just for us,” Chuck gasps, sliding his hands around you to palm your breasts. “So good. Never gonna get enough of you. Can I keep you?”

“Yes. I’m yours,” you moan. “All yours.” 

You’re not sure if minutes or hours pass, the only sound in the room being the rustling of the sheets, quiet groans, and whispered words in between shared breaths. Hands pull your face back and forth, angling your lips so that they can both kiss you. They’re both so different. Crater’s passionate, but it’s clear the kiss enhances the sex for him, whereas Chuck seems like he’d be satisfied only kissing you. When his mouth envelops yours, he sometimes forgets to keep moving, and you have to grind back into him to remind him. It’s an awkward angle with him behind you, but you ignore the strain in your neck, desperate to taste him more. The way he moves, the way he holds you, the way he fucks you, it all feels as though he’s trying to convey a message that the two of you have long allowed to go unspoken. 

You hope he understands that everything is reciprocated. 

Your earlier orgasms were quickly built and rushed towards at breakneck speed, but the two pilots seem more concerned with carefully crafting your pleasure this time, grinding into you and finding the angles and touches that pull you closer to the precipice. You reach behind you, burying your fingers in Chuckles’s mohawk as he pants against your skin. Crater presses his forehead to yours as he reaches between you, pressing against your clit. 

“You don’t have to ask for it,” he reassures you. “Tell us what you need. Tell us how to make you cum.” 

You’re close. You’re so close. 

A soft groan breaks the silence from above your head, and you look up, meeting Gregor’s gaze as he watches the three of you, pumping his cock in the dark. His eyes are blown out with lust, and his lips are parted as his eyes find yours. 

“Gregor, come here,” you whisper. 

“You don’t have to, love. I can just watch.”

“I need it. I need you. I’m so close. Please.” 

Crater angles himself away, giving Gregor the room he needs to kneel near your head and offer you his cock. You open your mouth eagerly, taking him between your lips. His hips jerk when you run your tongue across his tip, flicking at his slit before finding the vein that runs along his shaft and tracing that downwards, taking him to the back of your throat. He doesn’t press you, but you need more. You grab Gregor’s thigh and pull him closer so that you can bury his cock in your throat. He cradles your head gently, trying to take some of the strain from your neck, but you couldn’t be less concerned, chasing your high with the three of them buried inside of you. 

It’s so different from the first time the three of them took you together, more gentle and slow, but no less thrilling for you. This time, you’re more aware of the slide and grind and feel of them as they push and pull, the way it feels when the tips of their cocks catch at whatever entrance they’re using. Sweat slicks your skin as you slowly squeeze your lower muscles, drawing a grunt and curse from Crater and Chuckles. 

“Want to see you cum for us, love,” Gregor encourages. “Want to watch you come undone. You’re so beautiful when you do.” 

You release him for a moment, resting your cheek against his thigh as you catch your breath. A line of spit connects your lips to him still, but he tenderly brushes it away. Just then, Chuckles readjusts behind you, and suddenly, he’s hitting the perfect place, and your eyes widen as your mouth falls open in a silent scream. 

“She loves that. Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop,” Gregor rasps.

“C-couldn’t if I tried,” Chuckles replies. “Cum for us, sweetheart. I’m not going to last.” 

Crater’s nimble fingers find your clit again, and you gasp. 

“G-Gregor,” you plead.

“What do you need?” he asks softly. 

“Touch me. Please.” 

He leans forward, cradling your face and pressing his thumb to your lower lip, rubbing it along your skin until you take it in your mouth and suck on it. You run your tongue over the callouses on his thumb, and somehow between the taste of his skin and the way he’s looking at you, it’s enough. 

You cum with a stuttering moan. Your eyes flutter closed as you release Gregor’s thumb, panting and gasping as your muscles lock down and you shiver. Your head swims as wave after wave washes over you, seemingly unending until you’re left trembling in its wake. 

“Beautiful,” you hear Gregor whisper between punctuated breaths. When you open your eyes, he’s coated his knuckles with his spend. He scoots away from you, and suddenly, Crater’s lips are crashing against yours, and his fingers bury themselves in your hair as his thrusts grow more erratic. 

“I’m close,” he whines. 

In your haze, your hand drifts to his neck, and his eyes snap to meet yours. You freeze for a moment, fearing you’ve made a mistake until he places his hand over yours and gives you a slight nod. The unspoken words are hanging in his gaze. 

Do it.

You squeeze gently against the muscles of his throat. 

“Cum for me,” you whisper. 

And he does, groaning as he empties himself inside of you. 

Chuckles is close behind, bottoming out as he fills your ass one more time. He holds you for a moment before slipping from you, panting against your skin. Gregor’s already kneeling between your legs, cleaning you gently with a warm cloth. 

“I’d try to get you to the shower again, but I don’t think we have enough towels,” he joked. 

“S’ok,” you mumble. “Don’t think I could make it there anyway.” 

Three different sets of lips find yours in the darkness, one bearded, one clean shaven, and one scarred. They each whisper their thanks, and you thank them in return. The words feel insufficient on your tongue. The trust and adoration you feel for each of these men seems overwhelming in the aftermath, and you’re unsure you’ll ever be able to convey to them what it means to you to feel this comfortable with them, to feel this safe. 

You suspect they know, even if you never find the words.  

You’re pulled back into Chuckles’s chest, but this time, Crater doesn’t take the place beside you. Instead, he opts for the bedroll Gregor was sleeping on, offering his place to the commando. 

For once, Gregor seems uncertain, and you have to stifle a giggle and the snarky remark that’s threatening to erupt from you. Instead, you reach for him, and he takes your hand, sinking onto the mattress next to you. 

“Come closer, I don’t bite,” you snicker. 

“I would beg to differ,” he responds, which earns him a playful slap to the chest. 

“You like it.”

“Only in some settings, love.” His teeth flash in the darkness as he gives you another cheeky grin.

You take his hand, placing it around your waist. “We’ve never done this,” you say softly. 

“Never slept together either if memory serves.”

“Well, maybe we should this time.” 

“If you snore, I’m smothering you.”

You roll your eyes. “I might smother you regardless.”

He huffs, but you slip a hand around the back of his head, pulling his face to yours and resting your forehead against his. 

“You know I don’t hate you, right?” 

His eyes soften slightly. “News to me.” 

You grimace. “I don’t like you. A lot of the time. I don’t know why, but you get under my skin, sometimes on purpose I think.”

He shrugs. “Riling you up is one of my favorite pastimes.”

You roll your eyes again before sobering. “But… I do care about you. And want you safe.” You exhale. “And there are times I don’t dislike you. Times outside of when we’re fucking.” 

He smiles, not the cocky grin that he usually has, but a genuine, soft smile. 

“I’m glad. Because I don’t always dislike you either.” 

“It only took a foursome for that to get resolved,” Chuckles mutters from behind you. You reach back and pinch his ass in retaliation. He pulls you closer, grazing his teeth along your neck. “Behave or I’ll leave a mark the suit can’t cover.” 

“Fine,” you concede. “But don’t get used to it.”

—

You wake in the morning to a warm presence next to you. When your eyes flutter open, you find Chuckles sleeping peacefully on his side, his nose brushing yours. His arms are wrapped around you, and he’s snoring softly. You hear bumping around in your ‘fresher along with some off-key muted singing. You smile, recognizing the gravelly, high-pitched tenor as Gregor’s. Crater is nowhere to be found. 

A low hum draws your attention, and you find Chuckles’s warm eyes staring into yours, having awakened with your movement. “Hey,” he whispers. 

“Hey,” you reply. 

He’s searching your eyes, and hesitantly, his hand strokes your cheek. You lean into his touch, and something in his gaze softens. Your heart stutters in your chest. 

“Glad we got your eject fixed,” you whisper. 

“Yeah. Me too,” he replies. “Wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.” 

Your fingers trace a scar that runs down the center of his chest on top of his sternum. “Would… would you do it again?” 

He raises his head to look at you. “With you?” 

“No, with Rog,” you mutter. He reaches down and lightly flicks your cheek, and you giggle. “Of course with me, you fuckin’ mynock. I told you that last night.” 

“I wasn’t sure you meant it or if you just said it in the moment.”

“Of course I want you, Chuckles. I have for about as long as we’ve known each other. But was scared, same as you.” 

He slips his knuckle under your chin, and your mirth fades from the intensity with which he’s looking at you. 

“Bolts, I’ll sleep with you as many times as you let me. But what I’d really like to do is take you to dinner.” 

Heat flushes across your face. You like that thought. But you know it’s impossible.

“Chuck, we can’t. If anyone knew… well, I don’t know what would happen to you, but at a minimum, the other guys might think I pay more attention to your fighter than theirs. Or they’d think you’d get special treatment, or-” 

He cuts you off with a kiss, and you melt into him. 

“Fine. When this is all over then. I’ll take you to dinner when we win the war.” He holds out his little finger. “Pinky swear.” 

You smirk, locking your pinky with his. “Deal.” 

Silence hangs between you for a few minutes as the two of you get lost in each other’s eyes, savoring this moment that’s just between the two of you. To your relief, everything feels the same with him. 

But it’s also undeniably different. And you don’t want to go back. 

He’s thinking hard about something. You can see it in the way the wrinkle between his brows deepens. You snuggle closer. 

“What is it?”

“You… I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to bumble through it. I know I just told you that I want… I want to date you, but it doesn’t… I don’t… it doesn’t just have to be me if you don’t want it to be. I know you and Crater have a thing going, and at this point, I have no idea what is going on with you and Gregor, but I don’t want-” 

It’s your turn to shut him up by pressing your lips to his. He mumbles against your mouth, and you giggle. 

“It’s rude to interrupt,” he scolds when you come up for air. “I lose my train of thought easily.” 

You roll your eyes, but get even closer to him, throwing one leg over his hip. 

“Crater and I aren’t romantic. We’re casual. I would like to still have him involved, and Gregor too if he wants to be, but things with you are… different.”

“Different?” 

“Yeah.”

“How?” He’s hopeful. And it warms and terrifies you at the same time.

Your brain buzzes with static as you flail to find the right words. “I… I want to go to dinner with you. I want to talk with you. I want to sleep next to you. Just sleep. I want to kiss you outside of this bed. When it’s just the two of us in the garage. I want to hear how your day went.” You huff in frustration as what you’re trying to convey continues to elude you. “I know that sounds ten kinds of cheesy.”

He grins. “I like cheesy.” He takes your hand, brushing his lips across your knuckles. “And I like you. I’m not worried about Crater and Gregor still being involved if that’s what you want, and I don’t think they’re threatened by me. And I’d like to see where this goes.” 

You duck your head as heat rushes to your cheeks. “I’d like that too.” 

Your eyes meet again, and something shifts between you. 

You want him. 

Leaning forward, you press your lips to his. He pulls you against him, rolling you underneath him. His knee slots between yours, and you’re already wrapping your legs around his torso, coaxing him into your heat. 

“More? I thought you’d be sore, Bolts.” Despite his half-hearted protest, he ruts against you, his cock already hard as it slips against your core. 

“I am. But I want more, Chuckles. More of you.” You bury your fingers in his mohawk, pulling his face down to yours and kissing him hungrily. He groans into your mouth. “Please,” you whisper against his lips. “Please let me have more with you.”

He huffs a laugh against your skin, his hand finding its way to your thigh as he pushes into you. 

“I’ll give you anything you want, Bolts.” 

Your arms wrap around him, fingers digging into his skin as he eases into you, panting against your cheek. It’s slow and gentle and tender and so different from anything you did yesterday, but this is what you want. 

And you want it with Chuckles. 

He presses his forehead to yours as he bottoms out. The soreness fades to a dull ache, overcome by the feeling of him inside of you, pressing against your walls as he nestles even deeper inside of you somehow. Your lips find his again, and his tongue slides into your mouth as he slowly starts to rock his hips into you. Heat courses through you as your heart flutters. You’re giddy, and you feel like you’d float away if he wasn’t pinning you to the mattress. 

Sex with Chuckles almost feels like a soothing balm after all of the nights you’d spent thinking of him, certain he was out of reach to you. Even though he’s inside of you, you want him closer, want to feel as much of his skin against yours as you can. He cradles your face, studying your every feature as he takes you, taking note of every moan and whine and angle that draws them from you. He’s patient and attentive, exploring you in ways he didn’t have the time to last night. 

“Maker alive, I can’t get over how gorgeous you are,” he pants. 

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

He manages a smirk as sweat trickles from his temple. “Damaged goods.” 

“I prefer the phrase ‘uniquely customized,’” you whisper, pressing a kiss to the scarred corner of his mouth. “I do have one question though.”

He pauses, remaining buried inside of you. “What?”

“That mark on your ass?”

He stifles a sheepish giggle, burying his face in your shoulder and muttering, “Was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”

“I’d like to think I’m going to see a lot more of that mark if we’re sleeping together. It was bound to come up again.”

He thrusts into you gently, and you glare at him for his obvious attempt to distract you. He gives you a pained grin, clearly understanding you won’t be deterred.  

“Fine. My batchmate and I agreed to tattoo each other one night when we were cadets. His name is Two-Pint, and he’s known for his homebrews. They are deadly. Needless to say, we’d had a few. Can’t remember what I asked for, but that’s what I wound up with. It’s anybody’s guess as to what it was supposed to be, and it’s a miracle it didn’t get infected.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “So, what do you think it looks like?” 

You burst into laughter. Deep, belly-shaking laughter. 

Chuckles seems surprised for a moment, but soon is giggling as well, burying his face in your neck as he shakes with mirth. He’s still buried inside of you, but somehow, the laughter feels more intimate than anything you’ve ever done with a partner. You wish you could bottle this moment, keeping it for your darkest days. You press your foreheads together as you get lost in each other, kissing one another in between fits of giggles as he occasionally rolls his hips into you. 

“You’re an idiot,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. 

“As long as I’m your idiot,” he grins back, readjusting his legs and thrusting back into you at an angle that makes you see stars. 

“You two are having entirely too much fun out here,” Gregor snarks, emerging from the ‘fresher with a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“You jealous?” you tease.

“Of you having to hear Chuckles’s jokes all the time? Not on your life,” he replies, retrieving his clothes and beginning to dress. 

“Leaving so soon?”

“Got a briefing.” 

“Not even time for one last quickie?” you tease. 

“As appealing as that sounds, love, I think if I get undressed again, I’ll be tempted to make myself late.” 

“At least have breakfast then,” Crater says from the door. He’s carrying a box in one hand and a small bag in the other. “I went out and got some food. Bolts doesn’t keep much to eat around here.” 

Gregor smiles, plucking a pastry from the box when Crater offers it. “Let’s do this again sometime then.”

“Stay safe,” you call from under Chuckles. 

Gregor hesitates before approaching the mattress and bending down towards you. Chuckles makes room as the commando presses a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll do my best, but no guarantees. I’ll comm you.”

“No you won’t.”

“I’ll try.” 

You roll your eyes as the commando grabs his bedroll and leaves, tossing one last wink over his shoulder. You can’t help but smile as he disappears out the door.

Crater sets the box on the floor next to you. “I suppose I should get going too. Briefing’s cancelled for today, by the way.”

Chuckles pauses, slipping out of you to roll onto his side as he looks at Crater. You huff indignantly, but he’s too focused on what his captain is telling him. “How’s that work? We leave tomorrow.”

Crater smirks. “Not anymore. Looks like the situation will resolve itself in the next few hours, and our support won’t be needed. The 501st gets to have all the fun today.” He reaches for a pastry that smells like jogan fruit. “So you two relax and enjoy yourselves. Especially since Bolts already had the garage closed to do her inspections today. No one should bother you.” 

“What are you going to do all day then?” you ask. 

He pauses, glancing down at you before he shrugs. “Probably some reports to work on.”

Chuckles wrinkles his nose. “You always get your reports done first.” 

Crater glares at him, but he shakes his head. “Always something to do.”

You both see through him.

“She wants you to stay, Crater,” Chuckles states with a slight tinge of exasperation. You stifle a grin as the pilot continues. “The deal is just that I get to take her out when this is all said and done. She’s explained where you two are at, and I’m not worried about it.” He grins, but Crater just quietly raises a brow, which sobers his brother.  “She trusts you, and you know I do too. So stay if you want.” Chuckles pulls you closer to him. “But if I’ve got a day off, I’m not leaving this room.”

Crater takes a bite of the pastry, chewing slowly as he looks at you for confirmation. You nod. 

“You don’t want things to change? I don’t want to overstep with you two,” he says quietly.

“You aren’t,” you reply, reaching for him. He wraps his hand around yours. “I know it’s different with us, but I still want you, Crate. I’d like it if you stayed.”  

He seems taken aback for a moment, and you suddenly realize why he was so restless in his sleep last night. 

He was worried he was intruding on something. He was going to step back to let us explore this. 

And that’s why you love him. Not in the same way you feel for Chuckles. Not that you love Chuckles…yet. But Crater knows where you stand. And I think he feels the same.  

Predictably, it only takes Crater a few seconds to slip back into his quiet confidence. But you still know that you finally surprised him, and you’ll relish in that moment for a while. He smirks at you. “Well. You did cum last night without permission. And you were pretty mouthy. I suppose we should work out what that will cost you.” 

You feel the tension leave your shoulders as you feign indifference with a shrug. “If you feel the need.” 

Chuckles tugs on one of your nipples, and you gasp, glaring at him without any real heat. “I think I’d like to see how she looks tied up in that silk rope you mentioned. If you think that fits the bill.” 

Crater raises his scarred eyebrow, clearly surprised at how eager his brother is to jump in. Your body is already singing with anticipation as Chuckles peels the covers back off of you. You inhale sharply as you see all of the marks the three of them left on you the night before, but you can also see the two pilots already mapping the places they’re going to mark you next. 

“I suppose that’d be appropriate,” Crater notes, opening the bag he brought with him. “I was going to give these to you as a parting gift, but maybe we’ll try them out today then.” He lifts out a set of binders, a new vibrator, and a gag that makes you clench around nothing. He notes how you dig your teeth into your lip at the sight of the last item. “Does that sound good to you, pretty girl? For Chuckles and I to try some new things with you today?”

“Yes,” you breathe. 

“Yes what?” 

You shiver. “Yes, sir.” 

He smirks. “Better eat some breakfast then, Chuckles. It seems like you’re going to need the energy.” 

The mohawked pilot grins as he crawls down to the end of the mattress, lifting your legs over his shoulders and sinking onto his stomach. You inhale sharply when he presses your legs apart, nuzzling at your clit as he meets your eyes, licking his lips.  

“I’ll get a donut in a minute. There’s something else I’d like to eat first.”

Tag List: @seriowan @partoftheeternalsoul @misogirl828 @ellichonkasaurusrex @zoeykallus @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @staycalmandhugaclone @redheadgirl @fordo-kixed-rex @wizardofrozz @ariadnes-red-thread @extrahotpixels @justanothersadperson93 @leftealeaf @meekaielmyerhs99 @kaminocasey @echos-girlfriend @lucyysthings @obihiddlenox @merkitty49 @littlemissmanga @clonecyaree @baba-fett @sleepingsun501 @rexxdjarin @samspenandsword @babygirlrex0504 @ladytano420 @fxlsealarm @runforrestr @rennyboo9 @djarrex @rain-on-kamino @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall

[mermaidsirennikita]

IAD Hero Power Rankings: Part... V?

Almost forgot that a new sexy babe entered the villa and took over today!!!

Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

--called Sabine a "good girl" even when she's actually being a bad girl

--is explicitly a dom

--the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

--is into spanking

--takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she's evil and he's all "awwww baby I don't understand why they don't like you :(" when she's committed, like, war crimes... down ridiculous...

--his big comeback to his enemy is like "lmao well I'm about to make your girl's eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK"

--has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

--I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

--met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn't remember fucking her once until she reminded him.... I thought it was funny

--that time he went at Sabine's tits for so long that the next day she was all "THEY HURT SO BAD" so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

--"I don't have any fetishes!!!!" has every fetish known to man

--was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her... this is a pro... but I'm gonna pretend it's a con

--is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

2. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

3. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

4. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

5. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

6. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

7. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–basically a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Welcome To The World, LittleBean: A Life Update

Dear Future Husband,

My sister had the baby! And it made me depressed.

I kind of receded from the world for a couple of weeks and stopped talking to people I enjoy talking to, and stopped doing things I enjoy doing, and kind of stayed in my room unless it was absolutely necessary to leave.

Why, might you ask, would I have done such a thing as a response to such a happy event?

Well, for some of the reasons I've written about previously. The emotional weight of the sadness that comes along with seeing a younger sibling live through something you yourself desire but feel you'll never have, is probably the biggest.

But another reason I've been really down is because of my mother.

Dear old MotherLivelyHeart has problems.

I think I've mentioned this previously, but if/when I marry, I will most definitely be marrying INTO a family and as "out" of my own as I possibly can.

MotherLivelyHeart suffers from anxiety and depression. Shocker, I know.

In fact, my inner voice is comprised mainly of her criticism and negativity. Shocker, I know.

Dear old MotherLivelyHeart has never really wanted to be a mother, as far as I can tell. Shocker? ...I dunno.

When I was growing up, my mother used to always say "I only had children for the grandkids" and everyone would laugh. But HAHA! it wasn't a joke. I figured out pretty early on that she was kind of serious with that statement.

But nothing in my life confirmed that until she was on the phone with her machutanim on the day LittleBean was born and repeated that sentiment to them.

So, all my life, she's struggled with being the parent she never wanted to be in order for us to have offspring that she could love and adore and spoil and then send home to their parents without having to parent herself.

THIS is the "home" I came from.

THIS is the parenting I received.

It's absolutely no wonder I'm so screwed up.

My mother has been overbearing my entire life. And a lot of it comes from her own insecurities and anxieties and lack of the world living up to her expectations. Which is kind of understandable.

The problem comes when those expectations come at the cost of other peoples' comfort and safety.

LilSis had a c-section. The baby wasn't exactly breached, but was flipped at a weird angle and stuck. The baby was also a meconium baby, so while it was already over a week past the due date, LilSis thought she still had time. But as it turned out there wasn't any time because when she went for what she thought was a routine check up, they induced her and after two days of labor and nothing happening, they did the c-section.

Now, LilSis made it clear earlier this year that she didn't want anyone at the hospital with her aside from her doula and husband. No visitors, family included. The rest of us seemed to accept this, but MotherLivelyHeart just kind of smirked and went, "yeah, ok, we'll see about that."

And I get that LilSis is her baby.

I get that it's not easy to see your child suffer.

I get that she's been waiting her whole life to be a grandmother.

I get that she's had expectations about what it would be like to meet her grandchildren, especially her first grandchild.

I. GET. IT.

But when LilSis facetimed and showed us the baby and B"H the baby looked fine but LilSis was clearly too pale and weak and dizzy and needed to get off the phone, but again repeated that she didn't want anyone coming to the hospital, dear old MotherLivelyHeart's response was that she wanted to "surprise" them at the hospital.

"I don't need to ask permission."

"I'm not a 'visitor', I'm her MOTHER."

"I don't need permission to see my own daughter."

"I know what she needs, I'll just drop it off, give her a hug and leave."

"I don't need to see her, I just want to see the baby."

UHM, NOOOOOOOOO.

Your daughter is almost 30.

She's been married for over half a decade.

She has a right to her space and her boundaries for her little nuclear family and YOU ARE CROSSING THEM by even THINKING that would be acceptable.

And the next day, my mother called LilSis and asked her about something she wanted to bring with her. LilSis made it clear that she didn't want anyone to come. When my mother didn't seem to get this, my brother in law texted her a kind "now isn't a good time" message and my mother felt "ganged up on".

She went into a tailspin.

"They don't like me."

"What did I ever do to them that they hate me so much?"

"I've been dissed and dismissed."

"They've cut me out of their lives."

And sooooooo many other thoughts along those lines.

There isn't even enough space here to describe all the insane things she did as a response to this "rejection" she was experiencing.

She was 100000000000% projecting her own thoughts, expectations, and experiences with her own c-section onto LilSis and the whole situation was absurd.

Then LittleBean ended up back in the hospital because of some complications and LilSis and her husband still wanted space.

Now, what MotherLivelyHeart doesn't know, because I will never tell her, is that I saw LittleBean before she did.

Because I'm actually supportive and respectful of boundaries, when they got home LilSis and her husband allowed me to come by and drop stuff off, and run some errands for them (while they were still keeping overbearing MotherLivelyHeart at arms length). So I met LittleBean like 3 or 4 times. And the babes is absolutely precious. <3

LilSis and her husband finally let MotherLivelyHeart over this past week to meet LittleBean and help out and it's like a switch was flipped. Suddenly everything for MotherLivelyHeart is sunshine and rainbows and I legit can't handle the mood swings.

But I digress....

One night last week I drove around and cried and screamed for an hour.

It absolutely sucks when you have no one to talk to.

Which brings me to the next part of my life update:

I finally spoke to a therapist.

So, I thought I was ghosted by the therapist I wanted to speak to. It took a few days, but he finally responded there was an issue with his online scheduler and he needed me to reschedule.

Fine, whatever.

I rescheduled for two weeks from that date (which had already been rescheduled from two weeks prior). So, now it's been a month and a half.

Fine, whatever.

Well, my meeting with him ended up being earlier this week. As it turns out, this therapist I wanted to speak to isn't taking on new clients at the moment, so he was acting more as triage for his practice and had a 15 minute zoom call with me before picking a therapist from his practice he thought I'd connect with.

So the next night I had an hour and a half zoom call with her and she's absolutely lovely and has experience working with children and adults who have experienced similar situations to the one I'm in.

For $120 I had my thought processes and experiences validated.

But that's pretty much it.

She told me I sound pretty level headed and understand what's healthy and what's not healthy in my life and in my past (which is one of the problems with being an overthinker, overanalyzer, and having done extensive research to try and figure out WTF is wrong with me), and she told me there are some exercises to try and reduce stress because it's clear that I'm overstressed and have been since I was a child, and even possibly since birth.

But these are all things I knew already. These are all things I've validated for myself. Yes, it's nice to hear a specialist say the same things, but for $120!?

I literally had to use unemployment money to pay for that. Unemployment that I'm going to have to end pretty soon.

How on EARTH am I supposed to be able to afford continued therapy when it costs so bloody much!?

It's absolutely awful that the people who need therapy the most are the ones who can't afford it.

And I found an organization that claims to help anyone who asks without needing an explanation, so I messaged them a brief "my life is a mess and I need to talk to a therapist. I found someone I think I can connect with, but it costs $120." and they sent me $10.

They said they help anyone who asks without an explanation.

I gave a valid explanation with a specific amount requested.

And they sent me $10.

It just so often feels like I'm banging my head against a wall.

Like I'm a joke to Hashem.

This random organization was like a beacon in the dark. A sign from Hashem that if I reach out for help, I can receive it.

He put this organization into my path and awareness just at the time that I needed it.

All so that He could mock me.

OF COURSE the therapy practice I chose doesn't take insurance.

Not that it would help, because my OBAMAdoesntCARE has been PENDING SINCE OCTOBER.

So OF COURSE I have to pay out of pocket.

And OF COURSE it costs so damn much.

And OF COURSE when I reach out for help I get laughed at.

What did they think I was supposed to do with the $10?

That's literally 1/12 of what I needed.

Even the Torah has us give more than that in maaser.

I legitimately don't understand.

Where do I have to go and what do I have to do to get a sugar daddy to pay for this so I can get my goddamn life in order!?

I'm literally drowning out here and God is throwing me half-deflated pool floaties.

On the bright side, I keep making amazing non-Jewish internet friends.

Do you know how much that sucks?

That I'm literally getting more support from non-Jewish internet friends that live halfway across the world than I am from my own community?

And it sucks even more to know that Hashem put those people into my path too!!

He literally keeps giving me things that He knows will make me feel worse because they make me feel better but also disconnected from the Jewish community, and not giving me things that would make me feel better and closer to Him and the Jewish community.

What am I supposed to do with that knowledge!?

I've often wondered if maybe I just wasn't meant to be Jewish. Like maybe there was some mistake and my mother isn't really Jewish and therefore I'm not Jewish and this is Hashem's way of telling me that I just need to separate myself from the Jewish world and go seek a secular life because that's truly who I'm supposed to be.

Except that my parents were married by a really chashuv community rav who did his research and would not have married my parents if there'd been even one safek as to her Jewishness.

And so, I'm stuck.

I'm stuck feeling constantly disconnected from the community that's supposed to be my rock and support. By the God who's supposed to be merciful and kind.

It's exhausting.

Are you out there? Do you feel the same? Are you a BT or ger or someone else who has lived both lives and can explain to me why yiddishkeit is better?

I have too much Jewish guilt to walk away from any of this, but I have too much mental stress to keep striving to be a part of it.

It's utterly exhausting to be stuck in the middle.

I hope you're doing better than I am.

-LivelyHeart

[krreader]

BTS reacting to you telling them how much you love them while you’re drunk.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; sex ; mentions of oral sex genre: crack ; smut ; fluff

a/n: thank you bb! I hope you like your request too!

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | youtube (coming soon - I hope lol)

kim seokjin

Jin was pretty sure that this was against the rules of bachelorette parties, but he wouldn't let you take a taxi in this state. By picking you up personally, he could at least ensure that you would get into bed safely.

“What?” he chuckled as you kept staring at him.

“You have no fucking idea of how much I love you, Seokjin,” you said in the most honest and calm voice, despite being so utterly drunk.

Jin immediately started smiling, turning his head when he stopped at a red light to cup your cheek.

“You know, Jagi.. you're so cute, even when you're drunk.”

You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes for a moment, “I'm so happy we're getting married.”

Yeah.. so was he.

min yoongi

“Yooooongi,” Yoongi tried to shut his eyes tighter together, but that was kind of hard when someone's knee was pressing into his crotch area.

“Ouch, what the hell are you doing,” he slid you away from him, “Have you been drinking?”

“I love you sooooooooo much, Yoongi,” you smiled, crawling towards him again and pulling the blankets down, your hand suddenly massaging his dick, “And I love your penis sooooooo, so much.”

“Shit,” his head fell back, his body reacting before his brain could, “No, wait.. no, no, no, you're drunk, you shouldn't..-”

But you were already pulling down his shorts and when your lips wrapped around his dick, there was nothing else he could do besides moan.

If you wanted to treat him, then so be it.

jung hoseok

“Okay, okay, I'll give it to you, your husbands are pretty nice,” you fell against Hoseok's chest, him and the rest of his former members chuckling at how drunk you and the rest of the girls were while they had decided not to drink tonight because they would drive home, “But mine? Fuck, mine is the hottest in the universe.”

“Pfffft, you're biased,” another one said.

“Hell yeah,” you grinned up at Hobi, “He's my ultimate bias.”

“Oh my god, you really need to stop drinking,” he kissed your forehead, still, a happy and proud smile was present throughout the rest of the night.

kim namjoon

“Namjoooooon,” you poked into his cheek, Namjoon's arm immediately tightening around your waist.

“You okay, babe?”

“Jimin and I have been drinking red wine for the past two hours and I think I'm drunk,” you giggled, “And now I want you to fuck me.”

“That's.. no, babe. We're not going to have sex right now,” he brushed his hand over his face and instantly grabbed your hands when they began to wander, “You're going to fall asleep now, okay?”

“But I want an orgasm, Joonie,” you pouted, “Because you're a sex god. And the hottest guy I have ever seen in my entire life..”

“That's very sweet of you, but I won't change my mind, no matter how much you whine.”

And oh boy, did you whine. But only until you threw up. Then you were whining for an entirely different reason.

park jimin

Jimin and you were on your honeymoon, sitting outside and watching the sun set as various empty glasses were on the table in front of you. One of his arms was around your shoulder, the other hand was holding another drink.

He was actually fine, it was you that was fucked.

“Jimin?” you looked up at him, smiling at him like he was the only sun that mattered to you.

“Hm?”

“Do you know that you're the love of my life?”

“Really?” he chuckled, "Why don't you tell me?”

“You're the beeeest thing that ever happened to me. You're handsome, sexy, cute, attractive, the best lover I've eeeever had..-”

“Ooooh,” he chuckled and put down his drink, “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you giggled when he started kissing your neck.

And before you knew it, he was sleeping with you on the terrace.

Hopefully none of your neighbors was out right now as well, because drunk you apparently liked to be louder than you normally were.

kim taehyung

“THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!” you screamed as Taehyung finally entered the club, stumbling against him, “Hey baby boy..-”

“You're drunk,” he sighed, looking at your friends who looked just as drunk as you were.

“It's a birthday party and the drinks were freeeee,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around him as you kissed him sloppily, “I missed you so much, Tae.”

“Come on, let's go home..-”

But even on your way to the car, you did not stop talking for a second.

“I love you so much.. it's insane,” you sighed, wrapping your arms tighter around his middle, “And you're miiiiine.”

“I really don't like it when you drink so much, you know? I'm always worried about you..”

“You're worried?” and when you started crying, he picked you up like a bride with a heavy sigh, “I really have the best boyfriend in the world.”

jeon jeongguk

Even if his days in BTS were over and he would be getting married in two months didn't mean that he was out of the industry.

Take today. You and Jeongguk had been invited to an award show and while he was sitting somewhere in the audience, you were backstage with a few other guys and girls that were dating idols, drinking your night away.

And Jeongguk only knew how much you’ve actually had to drink, when he saw you again two hours later.

“Jeongguk! (Y/N) told us how good you are at oral sex,” a friend of yours said with a giggle, “Think you can teach my husband? He’s horrible at it.”

“I.. think we should go home now,” he gently pulled you away from the woman and then towards the car, “What the hell?!”

“What? I was only telling everyone how great you are and how happy you make me.. in every aspect of our relationship. And let's be real,” you giggled, waiting to be in the car before you pulled him in for a kiss, “You're the best at making me cum with your tongue..”

Fuck. Now he would have to drive home with a boner..