#i love you sooooo much thank you for everything you’ve done for me

[feltcreature]

ITS YOUR HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERES YOUR HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG !!!!!!

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I was in a car accident yesterday (car took most of the damage, I’m ok other than bruises and sore muscles) and the whole thing has been a whirlwind of insurance and hospital and half asleep crying. I was wondering if I could request James potter x reader for comfort in a situation like that? I’m going through it rn lol hope you’re having a good day :)

Oh I'm sorry lovely! I had a very similar thing happen a little over a year ago, it's sooooo exhausting even when luckily no one is seriously hurt. Thanks for requesting, hope you're having a good/better day too <33

cw: past car accident, no details but talk of general aftermath of police questioning, insurance, etc.

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 799 words

The way James half-jogs up to the automatic doors of the hospital, seeming caught between walking and running, feels like someone is pressing down on the bruise of your chest. You wish you’d called him sooner. 

“James,” you call as he comes in, hating how your voice cuts through the taut quiet of the waiting area. It’s worth it for how his whole self softens when his eyes find you. 

He slows to a fast walk the rest of the way to you, the urgency slowly leaving him—which is appropriate, there is no urgency, everything has happened already—like an engine running out of gas. You stand as he nears, and both of you reach for each other before James hesitates. His hands stop midair, his brow tightening for a moment, before they come tentatively to your elbows.

“Hi,” he says, squeezing. “How bad is it?” 

“For me or the car?” you joke. 

“You.” James is feeling too earnest for joking, it seems. “Well, both of you. But you first.” 

You really thought you’d cry when you saw him. Worried you’d make a whole scene, blubbering and inconsolable, but you don’t seem to have any tears left. It makes sense, you suppose; you’ve cried a lot in the past few hours. First the slow, shaky kind right after getting out of your car, and then a real cry when a police officer had pulled you aside to get your version of events. (It had been embarrassing. She’d been nice about it, though.) Now, you wait for the tears to come, but for all your relief at seeing your boyfriend you feel rather dried up. 

It makes you wish, once again, that you’d called James sooner. You’d wanted to, of course, but you’d been nearly certain you’d be even less capable of holding yourself together if he were there, and there wasn’t much reason for him to be anyways. He was at work and you weren’t terribly hurt, so there was really nothing he could have done while you were talking to the police and the tow company and the paramedics and attempting not to drown in an overwhelm of insurance information. The only thing you really wanted him for was to hold your hand.

“I’m okay,” you say, the necessary preface. “A bit bruised up. My chest got the worst of it.” 

Unconsciously, your hand comes to your sternum as if to demonstrate, gravitating towards the center of the ache. James’ hand follows, seemingly just as thoughtless as it covers your own. He can’t see the bruise, but he makes a low, sad sound anyway. 

His care softens your voice. “They said my neck will probably hurt tomorrow, but it doesn’t yet.” 

“Oh, sweetheart.” James sounds really, truly heartbroken for you. “And the rest, it hurts a lot?” 

You shrug. What’s a lot? You know you could’ve had worse, much worse; still, you could do without that frightening soreness that comes with each breath. 

“It’s not too bad,” you say. “I could still hug.” 

It’s the question he’s been dying to ask, clearly. James’ arms are around you in a second, ardent but still gentle, palms pressing to the high and low points of your bag. It’s a good hug. You melt a little against him. 

James tucks his face into the side of your neck, like he’s trying to get as much contact with you as he can. “I wish you’d called me when it happened.” 

“You were at work.” 

“I’d have left work.” 

“There wasn’t anything you could do. I was fine, I just had to…” a little sigh escapes you, exhaustion creeping in now that he’s here “...talk to people. Insurance and all that.” 

James makes a soft, half-agreeing sound. His thumb strokes the base of your neck. “Still. I could have held your hand.” 

A new ache rises in the back of your throat, coming to join the rest. You wind your arms tighter around James. 

After a few, silent moments, he kisses your neck chastely and loosens his hold. “Ready to go home? Anything else you need?” 

You shake your head. “I’m signed out,” you say, so eager you feel like you could float out the doors. You hope you can entice James to lie in bed with you when you get home. You think you’ll sleep until tomorrow. “Let’s go, please.” 

“Alright, you don’t have to say please, sweetheart.” James curls an arm around your shoulders, pressing a smile into your cheek. “We can go. You need one of those wheelchairs for me to take you out to the car?” 

“Ha ha,” you say drily. “No.” 

“Just checking. Think maybe I ought to ask for one, just in case?”

“James. I will take your car home without you in it.” 

“Alright, lovie, I’m coming.”

[toomiieimagiines]

hi hi there! sooooo, how about some Tsukasa cuddling headcanons? Feel free to ignore if you’ve got better ones! Have a super awesome day! >:D

YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF DIRTY DIRTY TSUKASA LOVERS!! WHAT IS WITH HIM THAT YOU LOVE SO MUCH! ToT love a good cuddle hc…. was honestly excited to see it… (can we address how he dresses sometime? what a cutie pie…. honestly, i didn’t really favor kasa before i started writing for him!! he’s so darling!!!>_<) AND SORRY FOR THE MINI HIATUS!! life’s been kinda hard recently!! ^_^||| sorry for it being kinda short!

EDIT: i forgot to add tags like a scatterbrain…. -.- i hope people can still see this…

Tsukasa Tenma cuddling hc’s (+ more!)

Too hot to handle… (LITERALLY)

So so warm, an actual walking furnace, YET HES FREEZING!

“Honey, it’s so so cold please…” (whiny (HOW SURPRISING))

“‘Kasa, baby, I’m sweating…”

LOVES and I mean LOVES to cuddle

Who would believe me if I told them he’d pounce on you at any given opportunity? (OMG wuttt??? that’s soooo unlike him!!)

“Sweeetheart, I just miss you!”

“Honey, please when do I ever ask you for anything??”

Trust if he’s sick he makes it your problem too, like pls unsick me!!

Smells like shortbread

You honestly don’t know why because the only time he wears cologne is if he’s going somewhere fancy, and it’s never sweet

Maybe it’s Sakis weird love for baking, maybe it’s a little fairy who likes to sprinkle him with it while he sleeps, he doesn’t really know.

Favorite positions are ones where you’re facing eachother

Doesn’t really like spooning, he doesn’t find it as satisfying

ALSO VERY PARTIAL TO HIM LAYING HIS HEAD ON YOUR CHEST

He likes your heartbeat!!! Is that a crime?

Will genuinely NEVER let you get back up after

He will fight you… Its infuriating

WRAPS HIS ARMS SO TIGHT AROUND YOU, HES LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

Didn’t know I signed up for cuddling sheetmetal, thanks for the warning!

Honestly, he’s so boyfriend tho it’s insane…. like yes yes of course you’re my boyfriend!

AGHHHA HES SO CUTIEEE!!! i enjoy leaving these drabbles after my hcs!! it makes me feel like i actually did something! keep requesting, sorry if i haven’t gotten to yours yet!! there’s been so many! thank you so much!^w^

Rehearsal sucks, anyone who’s ever done anything knows it, and so does Tsukasa. He’s exhausted, and he knows the one thing that’ll recharge him.

You.

He sends you a text akin to “please let me come over before I die and it’ll be your fault”, and who could say no to that!? That’s how you ended up with a mildly sweaty Tsukasa laying on top of your previously perfectly made bed…

“You’re too warm! I can lay with you, but this is ridiculous!” You squirm, trying to pry the boy off of you. When did he get so heavy?! It’s like a bag of bricks is holding you down!

“Please sweetheart, when do I ever ask you for anything?!” He whines, wrapping his arms even tighter around you.

“Five minutes ago you asked me to scratch your back, you asked me for a drink from the vending machine because you didn’t wanna get your wallet-“

“Never mind!” He cuts you off, covering your mouth. “It’s the last time, I swear! I promise that I won’t ever again!-”

You look up at him, unimpressed.

“For the..” he looks away dejectedly, taking his hand off your mouth, “rest of the time I’m here…”

You snicker at his sudden sheepishness, “what happened to the passion, ‘Kasa?” Your fingers run through his blonde hair, twisting it around your fingers.

“You put the fire out… If you could see my eyes right now, you’d see they’re gray and dull….”

You smack his head playfully, “don’t bite the hands that scratch your back.”

He just sighs, burying his head deeper into your neck. He’s warm, REALLY warm, but you can’t find it in yourself to mind anymore. It really is times like these that make you appreciate him the most. He’s not performing, he’s not playing, he’s just kinda there, and you’re kinda there too. Everything can be so much, but life feels mundane and boring when you two are like this - in a good way! It feels domestic.

“I love you, Tsukasa. Y’know that?” You lift his head up, looking into his eyes. Damnit, he’s looks kinda sweet. It almost makes you feel bad for teasing him… Almost.

He leans into the touch, eyes closing again. His voice is uncharacteristically soft when he replies, “I do. I love you too, a lot.”

A beat passes,

“I’m aloud to fall asleep, right?”

“Tsukasa!”

[harlotofupdog]

AO3 Ask Game

Thank you for the tag @missunderstoodlyrics, and thanks lovely @cheeseplants for kicking it off!

What fandoms do you write in?

Just Good Omens! Though I did throw some Top Gear smut into writers chat one evening and I still think there's something there…

How many words have you published in 2024?

I published my very first fic on the 31st of December last year, and everything else has been this year - sooooo not counting collabs, 138,904. It's nowhere near as much as some, but I'm v happy. It's a lot more than I ever expected.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Getting to the end of Storm Jizz! I never finish anything - my tiny sparrow brain is constantly distracted by the next shiny thing, and just knowing that I'm actually capable of finishing something a little longer is so confidence-giving.

What are your favourite top three fics you’ve written this year?

Someone is Calling Him Shorewards AKA Storm Jizz - I dunno, I just like it. I'd absolutely recommend @nosferatini's podfic over actually reading it though.

Spookake - eh, ghost jizz innit.

Zip Wire (Too Fast for Love) - v silly.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

There's not been a specific moment, but I've done a good bit of wallowing in self-pity about fics (both reading and writing). Something I've struggled with is trying to maintain creative momentum when I'm travelling, and I would like to have more discipline there instead of just getting in a sulk.

What have you learned?

That 'groyne' is a word (yes thank you Google Docs).

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

Oh, some weirdness, who knows. I have silly ideas all the time and it's for the best that most of them don't see the light of day.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

Yesssss!!!!! I am currently beta-ing Still We Know Each Other So Well by @paperclipninja, and it is gorgeous and delightful and all the things. I adore this fic and it's been an absolute privilege tagging along for the ride, chapter by chapter. It's soft, sweet, and mysterious, and I urge everyone to read it because you will fall in love.

I'm also beta-ing In Headlights AKA DEER FIC by @doonarose, and good lord - Doons is the absolute queen of smut and this fic is so ridiculously hot, with the most wonderful, considered characterisations of these dorks. It's an absolute feast and everyone should be reading it.

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Soooooo many more than three. Like, SO many more. I'm going to stick with finished fics just to narrow it down slightly, but I have a few WIPs I'm following that I am obsessed with as well (Still We Know Each Other So Well, Scorn and the Saint-Maker, In Headlights!).

A Little Life by @gaiaseyes451 - I will never, ever get over this one. It was a masterclass in beautiful, evocative writing that tore me to shreds while at the same time being one of the loveliest things I've ever read. I cannot rave about this fic enough - it absolutely transcends fandom and Aziracrow, and I know I will read it again and again.

Stuck On You by @zin-lynn-c - I beta'd this one and it was such an utter, utter joy and a gift to get those chapters just a teensy bit early. This is the fic that has everything - humour, angst, smut, gorgeous prose and storytelling, the BEST Agnes Nutter, and so much more. Instant classic, go wrap your eyeballs around it if you haven't already.

Give Me Jizz or Give Me Death - A Choose Your Own Jizz (CYOJ) Adventure by the most amazing band of smutgoblins, along with transcendental cover art by @ineffablecrankshaft - I cannot list top three fics without including this absolute INSANITY that was my birthday gift. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most phenomenal, absurd, wonderful gift I've ever received in my actual life, and I treasure the fuck outta it.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

SPIES! CRUSADES! BADGERS! GHOSTS! PIGEONS!

Who do you want to thank?

@paperclipninja for being the ultimate beta, collab partner, cheerleader, chatter and all-round excellent pal. Somehow, despite both being absolute chaos demons, we get things done (about 40% of the time, at least): writing, beta, ridiculous songs, "online research", solving the problems of the world, and everything else besides. Couldn't do it without ya, Clip, and I mean that!

@zinlynn-c for all the cheering, limericks, gasbagging and ghost hunting. If you had told me this time last year that I'd end up sitting in the stairwell of a sixteenth century manor at midnight chatting to its resident ghost with another smutgoblin, I wouldn't have believed it. I still actually can't!

@nosferatini - I can't quite reconcile the idea of Nos as one single person. I suspect she is actually a team of psychologists, an entire theatre troupe, David Tennant, four project managers, and a choir of slightly creepy British children in a trenchcoat. How? Just how do you do it? Nos, you're beyond wonderful, and it's an absolutely privilege to wobble about on the outer curve of your brilliant orbit.

Ridiculous, leg-humping gratitude to all the brilliant, talented artists who contributed art to Storm Jizz - @vavoom-sorted-art, @wingsofopal, @castle-behind-the-rocks, and @ineffablecrankshaft. I am in awe of all of you, thank you soooo much.

Every single person who read, commented, loved, or hated anything I wrote. I appreciate and treasure ever little feeling.

Huge thanks to the @goodomensafterdark community for letting me join in on the fun. Can't wait for another year of goblinery.

I tried to figure out who had been tagged and who hadn't, but omg effort, so just no pressure tagging a bunch of writers: @firstvisittoearth, @paperclipninja, @e-rated-beardo, @doonarose, @zin-lynn-c, @fuzzygoblin, @happynachohologram, @hermiola, @ladybracknellssherry

[ladysomething]

NEW CHAPTER IS SOOOOO AMAZING THANK YOU

there are so many moments but this left me with some tears. the amount of raw vulnerability. and max isn’t sure he deserves to ask for this😭😭😭 my baby i love love love him so much can’t wait for charles to catch up

“Please, be gentle with me,” Max whispers. Slowly, Max releases his waist to instead find his hand, fingertips softly running over the back of it. He slides his fingers between Charles’, then lifts their joined hands to hold them over his heart, the same way he’d done on the day he told Charles he loves him. “I don’t think you really know just how much power you have over me. You’ve got me over a barrel, here.”

there is something so WOW about power dynamics. at the beginning it feels like max has all the power (legally? i’m not sure how to put it) and charles is fighting to have some. but after the confession and the chapter from max pov you see how much emotional power charles has over him. in this particular moment it feels like charles holds all the cards because despite max still having all the legal power charles trusts him now and they communicate. it feels like they are meeting in the middle about these things. but everything concerning feelings is still so fresh and raw, without equal footing? i hope i make sense

and i was so happy about max joining charles in his Dreyma Ver-öld again!

you actually make complete sense anon! there's a moment coming up where Charles realises something very, very similar.

there's a lot of layers and complexity going on here, because Max has the power due to the external world, but between the two of them, Charles is the one who decides everything (even without knowing it).

it's sooo fun to explore!

[mommyslilfrenchfries]

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY BIG DAWG!!!!

Quinton, I love you so so sooooo much, you’re so amazing and I can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight! Thank you for always being my ray of sunshine in the dark, the goofiest mf to make me laugh and thank you for all the amazing opportunities you’ve given to me. I will never ever ever let you forget that you used to be a cringy tiktok sway boy or how you used to dress like a weirdo but i will always stay by your side no matter what! You are one of the greatest people I’ve ever known and I’m so glad I get to call you one of my best friends. I’m sorry that I’ve given you a few shitty tattoos and bad hair cuts/dye jobs but I appreciate you being my practice dummy. Again, happy 21st birthday Q, thank you for everything you’ve done for me! I hope you have an amazing, wonderful, joy filled day, I love and appreciate you so much!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Oooooh I’m so pumped about these new fics you’ve added! I’m officially intrigued and excited to read!

Also I should probably apologize for the amount of emojis here but I keep sending long requests and you keep fulfilling them fabulously sooooo I guess what I’m saying is that this is on you for enabling me :p

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(PROPOSALLLLLL - also my dear poor bobby trying to both encourage eddie to marry buck while also trying to prevent him from proposing poor guy)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(loving the established buckley-diaz family!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! - the sound my heart makes when i think about this fic)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮(explore them childhoods buck and bobby!)

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮(a lovely dog and a tsunami avoided i do think things are looking up for buck!)

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠(NICO MY BELOVED IVE MISSED YOU SO!!!) (and while i support your declaration that this is the last one if you ever change your mind please know I’ll be thrilled to see any other stories you dream up)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(after what you’ve done with your vampire premise im slightly scared and entirely excited to see what you do with zombies!)

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑(MADNEY CINDERELLA?!?!??! WOW YOURE TOO GOOD TO US CAL I CANT WAIT)

…yeah I definitely went crazy feel free to cut this down as much as you need. Thank youuuuuuu you’re amazing!!

HEY!!!!! YES I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

Do not apologize for the length. I saved it for last (unless someone submits something else) so that I could dedicate the right time to it. I am pumped.

---

Starting with 48 for ⚡️ (Proposal chapter posted! So this will be post-proposal!)

---

Eddie laughs. “You sure did.”

“It looks great,”  Maddie agrees. She walks around Eddie and Chris to give Buck a big hug.

“Congrats, guys,” Chim adds. “This is awesome. I knew it would happen from the moment you had that dumb, peacocking argument in the fire station gym.”

“What?” Chris asks. 

“Nothing,” Eddie says quickly. “Chim’s just being funny.”

“Thanks, man,” Buck laughs. “I appreciate all your help.”

Jee wanders over to Eddie and Chris and stands on tip toes to look at Eddie’s ring. Eddie lowers his hand to give her an easier view. 

“Wow,” she says, looking at the ring. “Green!”

“He wears a lot of green,” Chris tells her. “It made sense.”

“I do,” Eddie admits. 

“I like green,” Jee nods sagely. 

Maddie, Chim, and Jee leave after a few minutes. Eddie, Buck, and Chris make smoothies and sit in the kitchen, where Chris batters them with a million questions about the proposal. Buck does not forget to mention how Eddie derailed things. Kind of him, really. 

“So when is the wedding going to be?” Chris asks once everything is blended and they’re all sitting down. “This year? Next year?”

“We don’t know yet, bud,” Eddie answers. “These things take some time to plan.”

Especially when you don’t have basic training and childbirth as a time constraint.

“Probably not this calendar year, though,” Buck adds. “We can take our time planning it, I think.”

Eddie nods. “For sure.”

“Well, where are you going to get married? Is it going to be big? Like a huge party?”

“Chris, Buck and I haven’t even started talking about that yet,” Eddie tells him. “Give us some time.”  

“Well, you had all of last night!” Chris protests. “What else were you doing?”

Buck and Eddie stare at each other, nervously, for a moment. 

Sometimes it feels like Chris is growing up way too quickly. Then a nice little moment like this comes along to ease his anxiety. 

“I guess we talked about other stuff, kiddo,” Buck says, trying not to smirk.

---

27 for 🚨 (THANKS!)

---

“Wait, you know Alan?” One of the hungover, frantic-looking partygoers asks. Probably the one who called 9-1-1. He’s wearing a speedo and a blue terry cloth robe. 

Eddie frowns. “Wait, you know Alan? Prescott?”

“Who do you think fell out of the pool?” The young man exclaims. 

“What?” Eddie asks, expression dropping. His face goes a little pale. 

“It’s Alan! Alan is the one who needs your help!”

That, Buck realizes, is not good. Very, very not good. 

Someone Eddie used to love might be dying. Again. 

🔹🔹🔹

There’s no way around the fact that it’s a rescue with a high chance of failure. Alan is in a bad position. There’s no way to get the truck underneath him to lift a ladder up. He’s off the side of a cliff. A cliff covered in thick foliage. And there’s not a lot to hook a winch up to to send someone down after him. Nothing super secure, anyway. The pool is huge and spans the majority of the back line of the yard. They can’t just rappel over.

---

69 for 🩸 (THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!)

---

Buck can’t stop chewing the inside of his cheek. It’s becoming a problem. He is beginning to taste the coppery tang of blood in his saliva. All these months of waiting, and it’s moments away from being finished. Buck is practically vibrating out of his skin. 

They’ve arrived. Buck knows they’ve arrived, because Chris texted him the moment the plane was taxiing. Probably before he was even allowed to take his phone off airplane mode. He’s been keeping Buck diligently updated in the half an hour or so since. Which is how Buck knows they’ve collected Christopher’s checked bags. They’re on their way out of the baggage claim area now. They’re a breath away. 

Buck fires off a quick text to Eddie and Sophia on WhatsApp, notifying them. They were able to get Eddie’s old phone charged and working, but unfortunately the line has been canceled for months on account of his supposed death. And he can’t exactly call the company to reinstate it. So Wi-Fi based communications it is, for now. Buck will get on adding a second line to his account, soon. They just need another SIM.

Eddie gives the message a thumbs up. It seems like a muted response, but Buck knows the truth is just that he’s probably sitting there shaking. There’s nothing to say, anyway. 

It’s in that spot, standing in the arrivals terminal, checking his phone, chewing on his cheek, that he hears Christopher call out to him. 

“BUCK!”

Buck lifts his head to see him. He’s making a good pace, trying to navigate the LAX crowd with his crutches, in a beeline towards Buck. He’s taller. A decent amount taller. Buck could weep.

He takes off in long strides towards Christopher, pushing past people who he might on any other day be apologetic to. Today they don’t matter. Today Chris is home. He’s here, in front of him. He hardly even looks at the veritable clone of Sophia walking, tight-faced, behind Chris as he reaches them. He and Chris more or less collide together. Buck pulls him into a tight, crushing hug, ignoring the way one his crutches dig into his thigh. 

“I missed you so much,” Christopher says, eyes watering.

“I missed you, too,” Buck tells him. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“Me too,” Chris mumbles. 

Buck pulls away from him, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He scans Christopher head to toe. 

“You’re so tall,” Buck laughs, eyes stinging. “What were you eating out there, huh?” 

“You can’t talk!” Chris protests. 

“I guess that’s true,” Buck smiles. 

Buck takes a quick moment to look at Adriana. He can’t help but feel a cold coil of anger towards her, for how upset her sister was last night. He tries to remind himself she is missing critical information. 

“Thank you for bringing him,” he says to her. 

Normally he would probably offer to buy her lunch for her trouble and the long day, regardless of the discomfort between them. But he needs to get Chris home to Eddie. 

Adriana purses her lips for a second before replying. “Sure. Chris, you’ll remember to call, right?”

“Right,” Chris agrees, though Buck can tell he’s annoyed. Probably not the first time he’s heard this. 

Buck steps forward to take Christopher’s bags from Adriana. She slides them over without complaint.

“Is there anything you need before you catch your flight back?” He asks her. 

She scoffs a little. Buck, again, is prepared to be mad. But then he sees such a sincerely hurt, heartbroken expression across her face. Her eyes, so much like Eddie’s, are big and wounded. 

“There’s nothing you could do for me.” 

“Tia…” Chris protests weakly. 

Adriana hardly seems to hear him.

---

27 for 🔮:

---

It’s different, because Buck has so many other people in his life now. He’s not alone. But… But Bobby still didn’t go after him. 

He should have gone after him.

But what would he have said? He still can’t explain himself.

Bobby looks around Buck’s room, hoping to distract himself from this feeling of uselessness. To take in more small, previously unknown-to-him details about Buck. This solitary, sad Buck. There is a stack of CDs on a desk. An iPod classic with a sort of girly sticker on the back. Bobby wonders if that came from Maddie. There’s a school library copy of To Kill a Mockingbird open and facedown, and a spiral bound notebook where the scattered beginnings of an essay are written in messy graphite. A gaudy school jersey is on the ground, next to cleats. He forgot Buck played football. He wonders if the sport was ever the draw, or if it was always the team.

All of a sudden, Buck flips over and sits up. He sniffs, rubs his red eyes, and pulls himself up off the bed.

“Fuck this stupid family,” he mutters. 

Ouch. 

Buck rounds his bed, picks up the cleats off the floor, and puts them on. He takes off his sweater, so he’s just wearing a tee shirt, and tosses it on the frame on his bed. He grabs a football out of his closet and tucks it under his arm. 

Bobby watches, unsure of what he’s about to do, as he walks over to his bedroom window, wrenches it open, ducks his head low, and swings a leg over the side. Bobby’s eyes widen nervously. What the hell is he going to do? Well, Bobby knows what he’s going to do. He just doesn’t know if this is one of those stories that ends with Buck breaking a bone.

---

Well 🦮 has been posted! And I hope you enjoy/ed it!

In exchange, what I can give you is 24 sentences of the fic I started to replace it, another Gotcha for Gaza prompt. I will give it no context, but here it is and here's it's emoji 🛞

---

“Well, you weren’t the last person to sit in this seat,” Buck explains.

Eddie frowns. “I wasn’t? Someone else changed my settings?”

Chim holds back a sigh. If they could turn on the Jeep and get going, that would be great. He has a former foster child being adopted by his best friend to see. 

“Eddie, Chris was the last person to sit in the seat. He changed the settings.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Well, I’ll have words with him later.”

Wow. 

“He resets my settings in your truck, too.” Buck argues.

“No, you reset his settings in the truck, because you have giraffe legs.” Eddie rebuts. 

Chim is going to scream. 

“Eddie, you’ll survive,”  he says. “Buck, let’s beat traffic.”

“Right, right,” Buck says, starting the ignition. “Can you put in the address for me, Eddie?”

“Yep,” Eddie replies, taking Buck’s phone right off his thigh, and plugging it in. The Apple CarPlay display flickers to life. 

Eddie holds Buck’s phone to his face and it unlocks. 

---

45 for 🌠 (haha thank you! I am open to more but feel like I've explored what I wanted to?):

---

“You ran off, right?” 

“No!” Nico shouts. “I didn’t want to be alone! I don’t want to be alone! I want Dad!”

He sounds like a little kid. Half of Christopher’s heart aches for him. Half of it resents him. And that latter half is cruel and unfair and Chris knows that. He knows it’s good that Nico is terrified and unsure how to act. He knows it’s good Nico isn’t used to this. It’s fucking great for Nico, that, by this age, he hasn’t dealt with a parent killed by a distracted driver, a parent shot overseas and at home, and a parent struck by fucking lightning. He is healthy and adjusted and things have always, always been easier for him. 

And Christopher feels like a total asshole. Here he is, not far off thirty years-old, just realizing how much resentment he holds for a child. His little brother. Who he does love. Really, he loves him dearly. They’ve just lived apart more than they ever lived together, and it feels like they don’t know each other as well as they should. 

When you find something to work on, you forget about everyone else.

Fuck. 

“Nico, okay, I won’t-”

“Dad could be dying and you don’t even care!” 

Tears are streaming down his brother’s face now. Christopher wants to scream. He feels frozen. This feels impossible. Sometimes he thinks about the fact that his dad and Buck weren’t that much older than he is now, dealing with him at this age. How his dad was younger than him when his mom died and he was alone with a little kid. And Christopher wasn’t the world’s easiest kid. He knows that. Even if Dad would never, ever say it. 

“That’s not exactly what’s… Of course I care,” Christopher tries to reason. “God, of course I care.”

“Then why are you just working and acting like nothing is happening?”

Christopher takes a deep breath. 

“Nico, it helps me to keep my mind off of it,” he explains. “If I don’t, I get anxious. Because I care a lot, okay? You think I don’t? Between us, I’m the one who knows how shitty it feels to lose a parent.”

Nico’s expression drops. Anger and hurt turned to immediate regret. 

---

24 for 🧟 (Thank you! A bit more traditional zombies. Mostly bc none of our characters is one haha)

---

Hell, they could be so fucked up from everything that has happened nine months, that they’ve just snapped and want to cause pain. Buck isn’t risking the only family he has left. 

The cop car stops right in front of the turn to drive into the library parking lot. Like it, too, doesn’t want to cross the red line. The driver’s side door opens with urgency and a woman steps out. The windows are all tinted, and Buck can’t see if there’s anyone else in the car.

The woman’s back is to Buck, her arms in front of her, holding something. A gun perhaps. She’s dressed in what looks like the pants part of a cop uniform, but a bright, souvenir-style tee shirt. She’s shorter than Buck, but carries herself with a presence. An authority that, under other circumstances, Buck would either butt heads against or easily follow. 

The woman takes a step towards the library. 

Buck stands up and aims. 

“I wouldn’t do that.” He calls. 

The woman whirls on him, handgun pointed right at his forehead with what he can just tell is precision. If this goes badly, no chance she misses. He can see that. 

“Nice to meet you,” the woman quips. Buck would put her in her fifties. She has the trace of a southern accent. The tee shirt she’s wearing has a big, illustrated orange on it and the word Florida. Which explains the accent. 

---

36 for 👑 (THANKS! All credit to the prompter though):

---

“While Santa Claus was dying and she was covered in his blood?”

“Oh, please. Santa will be fine.” Hen waves a dismissive hand. “But who knows? Maybe fate will intervene and you’ll bump into her again.”

ii.

Fate does intervene. Just not in the ways Chim might expect. 

It’s a two-pronged day of surprises. 

They have a shift the day after Christmas. Christmas which Chim did end up spending alone. He didn’t feel right about going to Hen’s, and he didn’t feel right intruding on the Lees, so he just told each party he was going to the other’s. It was kind of shit. Not that he’ll say that to anyone. 

The point is, they’re on shift. It’s the 26th of December. They get called a kitchen fire in Beverly Hills. Nothing serious; a kid trying to make fancy vegan, gluten free cookies while her parents obviously were not supervising. No one is hurt. But that’s where Chimney sees her again. On a Christmas card of all things! 

He physically has to stop in front of the mantleplace where it’s displayed. A glossy, photocard type thing of two older white people with their two adult children. 

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the Buckleys, it reads. Wishing you all the best in 2018. From Phillip, Margaret, Maddie, and Evan. 

Whoa. Whoa. 

She has a name. Maddie Buckley. And from the distant way they’re all sitting in the portrait, not touching, that is certainly her younger brother, not her younger husband. Yikes. Now that he looks closer at them, neither Maddie nor Evan looks especially happy to be there. They’re all dressed in expensive clothing. Hair styled. This is a very, uh, special Christmas card. They look rich. Beverly Hills rich.

[esta-elavaris]

Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

[galvanizedfriend]

I already left a massive paragraph on ao3 about how I feel about that last chapter but I thought I’d come on here and do the same.

I feel as if I’m running out of words on how enchanting, mind blowing and damn right beautiful this story is (even with the amount of angst and crying I’ve done on this series 😂) this series is one rare gem in a sea of rocks. Where everything just comes together, where nothing feels forced. While I know that this series is just a rewritten version of ‘The Originals’ the way you have given this series life, given it more depth is just mind blowing to me. Without even going into klaroline and how that is just in a field of its own the way you have given Klaus, Elijah, Marcel and even Camille more character, more growth is just… beautiful to read.

I can’t talk about klaroline without getting sappy over how you’ve written them. They are soulmates and deserve their happy ending together. Their love is just written beautifully in this series. I literally hear their voices through your writing because you’ve done such an excellent job in keeping the core of who they were from the show and bringing it into your own world!

I can’t count how many times I’ve re-read this series back to back because I never want to leave this universe, to leave these characters.

While I’m excited to begin this new season, to be a part of these characters lives for longer I’m also emotional over the fact that, hopefully for you 😂, we will possibly say goodbye to them before the end of this year (and I am not prepared for that)

I can’t wait to see your growth this year in your writing (don’t know how it can be any better than it already is mind you!) you should be immensely proud of this series and what you’ve accomplished.

Can’t wait to see that notification for the next chapter, be it 2 weeks, 2 months or a year! ❤️

(So sorry for the emotional spillage 😂😂😂)

(Also need the klaroline wedding asap. Please give us a wedding your honour!)

I hope you're proud of yourself, because you just made me cry 😭😭😭 Hoooow are you so nice??? I want to print this out and put it on my wall for when I'm feeling like crap and can't write. 🥹

This is so kind and so nice of you, I don't even know what to say. I don't know how to take a compliment tbh, but I'm really emotional. I've read this at least three times already. 🥹 Thank you so much for saying all that. ❤️ There have been sooooo many times throughout the years where I questioned the point of writing this, and each and every time I had someone tell me they were finally enjoying The Originals or liking characters they had previously hated, I felt a little bit more at peace ❤️

The response to this chapter has been so nice, everyone has been so lovely about it and so kind to take time to write some awesome reviews and then this. 🥲 I don't know, man, I just don't know. I don't know what I've done to deserve such awesome readers who make me feel like I'm not screaming into the void after all these years, but thank you very, very much! 🥹 Thank you so, so much for this. You have made my entire week. 😭

[allylikethecat]

hellooooo ally!! i have officially read it’s christmas (so this is gonna be a nightmare) twice lucky me!!! what a treat!!! i have so many thoughts and feelings about the fic you don’t understand how much i love the trope/concept of fic!matty not being liked or accepted by people outside the band because of his “quirks” (serious and personal mental health/ addiction issues) because it’s just so unfair. perfect angst and also very realistic???? being written off as Bad News because he experiences hardships that are more scary and extreme than most people?? so wonderfully devastating and very real.

you aren’t allowed to apologise for the fic not being finished. you’ve done it to every other ask but i’m putting my foot down. no apology please!!! releasing it in parts just builds suspense anyways i love it.

now for the clumsy partner prompts!!! thankyou sooooo much for reblogging the list i feel very blessed. i’d like to request gatty 15, 16, 17 and 18 (they are all pretty similar so you could maybe combine some in one blurb? but obviously im not telling you how to write do whatever calls to you i just feel bad for requesting so many at once😅)

as always have a lovely rest of your day and i’m really looking forward to whatever you post next!!! love ya��🩷

Hello! Thank you so, so, so much for reading the first bit of the Christmas fic not only once but TWICE! I hope it's lived up to the hype even if it's not finished yet. Poor Fictional!Matty just wants his future in laws to like him, because he's not the same person he was when he was in his early twenties, he's worked on himself and deserves to be given a chance! Also I will not apologize for the fic not being finished by Christmas as requested even though I am sorry that I didn't finish it - it will hopefully be finished by the end of January at the latest!

Also!! thank you so much for not only suggesting the clumsy partner prompts to me, but also sending in this prompt request! I wanted to challenge myself a little bit, so I actually (I think!) managed to weave all four of them into one fill! Let me know what you think! If this wasn't what you were looking for, let me know and I will rewrite them! (If anyone else wants to send in any prompts, the list can be found HERE)

Thank you so much for reading and sending in this ask and for always just being so lovely and wonderful and supportive! I'm so sorry that it's taken me a minute to get to some of your other prompt requests as well! I hope you enjoy this one though and I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thank you again!!

❤️Ally

15. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble, really.”

“Shhh, stop it. You're no trouble at all, zero.”

16. Their partner sometimes feeling that their clumsy tendencies ruin everything and them, actually finding it endearing. They are sure to let their partner know they love it.

17.  “Oh, I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t mess it up, go on and give it a try.”

18. Makes it clear to their partner and anyone on the outside that just because they’re worried, doesn’t mean that their partner needs them or depends on them. It’s simply their partner allowing them to do the things that make them comfortable because they’re always worrying.

Matty knew he wasn’t the most coordinated person on the face of the Earth. He was always tripping over his feet, his head in the clouds as he bumped into things and other people, stumbling over curbs and spilling cups of coffee. George always had bandages in his backpack, and an extra Matty-sized shirt for when an inevitable incident occurred. His knees were permanently bruised and his palms forever scrapped. Despite George’s endless patience, and “I’ll kiss it betters” Matty wanted to die each time they were late for a meeting because Matty ate it in the parking lot. 

He had been horrible at sports as a child, his limbs never seeming to want to move the way he directed them, despite not being very large he felt like he had never properly grown into his body and developed the spacial awareness and grace that George seemed to carry. He had tried yoga but just grew frustrated at the disconnect he felt from his physical form and had quickly given up, citing some bullshit about not subscribing to George’s crunchy granola agenda. They both knew he was spouting nonsense. 

Thanks to Matty, they were going to be twenty minutes late to their first fully staged rehearsal for the new tour. Matty was so careful focusing on his footfalls, holding his Starbucks cup away from his body so it wouldn’t splash onto his white tee shirt. He wasn’t even wearing his airpods, he was making sure he was aware of his surroundings George until he tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. He managed to not only spill his coffee down his entire front, but bang his elbow on the cement so that it was now bleeding sluggishly. Matty sat on his ass in a puddle of coffee trying to comprehend what just happened while George looked on in mild horror.

“Are you alright?” George asked softly, voice thick with concern as he helped pull Matty to his feet, careful of his bleeding elbow, scarlet splatter bright against the white coffee stained fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m fine,” Matty said, his lower lip wobbling in frustration. He wanted to pull away from George’s grasp but wasn’t sure his shaking knees would support him on his own. His elbow stung and he wanted to cry in frustration. If he couldn’t walk down the street, how was he ever supposed to handle thirty nine North American tour dates? 

Today was supposed to be a good day, Matty thought hysterically, an important day, and as per usual not only were they late, it was his fault.

“Hey,” said George, tugging Matty into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Let’s go get you patched up, I think I have an extra shirt in my bag.”

Because of course he had an extra shirt, because he knew that Matty couldn’t be expected to walk normally like an adult without spilling something. Matty should have woken up earlier and drank his coffee at home, sitting safely at the kitchen table. George led him through the doors of  the venue they were renting for rehearsal space, flashing their credentials to the security guard and following the signs in the hallway to lead him straight to the bathroom. 

“I’m sorry,” said Matty, his voice wet, fuck he really was about to start crying, as George helped him sit up on the lip of the sink so that he could clean his elbow with a damp brown paper towel. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble, really.”

“Shhh, stop it.” said George, pulling away so that he could look Matty in the eyes. “You're no trouble at all, zero.” 

“But I’m always tripping over myself and ruining things,” Matty said with a sniffle. 

George threw the paper towel away and pulled a box of bandages and a small tube of antibiotic ointment out of his backpack. He dabbed the ointment gently against Matty’s scraped skin with a careful kindness that made Matty’s heart hurt. He didn’t deserve George. 

“It’s kind of cute,” George said quietly, after a moment, Matty swallowing a hiss of pain as the scrap stung. “Like obviously, I don’t like it when you get hurt, it makes me quite nervous actually, but you’re cute, like a baby deer discovering they have legs for the first time.” 

“A baby deer?” Matty asked, raising his eyebrow amongst the pain, his eyes still wet even as he tried to force a smile. 

“The cutest baby deer,” said George with a small grin, smoothing the bandage over Matty’s elbow before leaning down to press a kiss to the plaster. 

Matty just snorted in response, and hopped off the counter, pretending he didn’t notice the way George was hovering at his side, ready to reach out and grab him in case something went wrong. 

“Thanks,” he said, taking the offered black tee shirt from George and pulling off the now stained white one he was wearing. He pretended not to notice the way George was blatantly checking out his chest and stomach as if he didn’t see him naked on a daily basis. 

“It’s nice of you to join us,” said Ross smirking, “Even if you’re never beating the diva allegations, Healy.”  Matty sighed dramatically when they finally joined the group in front of the stage, his eyes going wide as he took in his vision come to life.

“I had a little mishap in the parking lot,” he admitted sheepishly, holding out his now bandaged elbow for Ross and Adam to see. 

“You’ve got to be more careful mate,” said Adam, ruffling Matty’s hair as they sat down on the sofa that had been brought into the space, and went over the stage show with Tobias. 

“I want to cut the song on the roof,” Matty said quietly after a moment, when the time came in the first run through for him to put on a harness and climb up onto the roof portion of their set. The music stopped as Matty chewed on his lower lip nervously. 

George blinked, that was a segment that Matty had been dead set on, and excited to perform, having chattered about the visual implications of doing so and how it furthered the story for weeks. 

“What?” George asked his expression of concern and confusion mirrored on Ross and Adam’s faces as well.

“Oh, I don’t want to mess it up.” Matty said softly with a shrug, “I’m so clumsy I’ll probably fall off the roof and traumatize our fan base or something.” 

“You won’t mess it up,” George assured him even if Ross and Adam looked skeptical.  “Go on and give it a try.”

Matty opened his mouth as if to argue but George just shook his head. “No, go on, try it out, there is a whole team of people that are going to make sure you’re okay, and you’ll have the harness so even if you do slip, you won’t fall far.” 

Matty swallowed hard but nodded, having needed the extra push from George, to disappear into the makeshift backstage. 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Ross asked quietly, stepping away from his microphone to make sure Matty didn’t hear him. “I was worried about it when he was all excited about it, but now if he’s even having second thoughts...” 

George shrugged, fiddling with one of the drum sticks. “I’m worried, obviously,” George said, “but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t support him, he wanted to do the song on the roof, so we should at least try the song on the roof, there are foot holes, and handles up there, plus he has a harness on to make sure even if he does fall he won’t fall far.” 

“You’re a better man than me,” said Adam, “I’d have Carly wrapped in bubble wrap if she was as accident prone as Matty.”

George shrugged, smiling when he looked up and saw Matty waving from the roof, before flashing a thumbs up. 

“We’re partners,” George reminded him, “and that means working together as a team.” 

[pocket-lin]

People I want to get to know better 

Thank you for the tag @doingthechachaslide!! I’m finally doing this like billion years after you tagged me!!

Last Song: Trigger by Hayley Williams. I can’t believe this album is four years old already 😭

Favorite color: why is this such a hard question!! I think it’s purple? They’re all my favorite I don’t wanna pick!!

Last Film/Show: we’ve been watching death and other details on Hulu (because I love Rahul Kohli and Mandy Patinkin) and it’s sooooo fun. I love whodunnits!! And everything that Violett Beane’s character wears is incredible.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: I’ve got SUCH a sweet tooth but you’ve gotta follow one of these up with the other! I also have to say that we literally bought another fridge that’s like, almost the size of a regular fridge so we would have a place to put all our hot sauces. So do with that what you will!

Relationship status: married! For almost four years now, which is crazy to me!! 😊

Last thing I googled: oh none of the things I’ve googled lately have been any fun (my dog has cancer 🙃) but I’m currently sitting on the couch watching Kennedy play Elden Ring so my last few searches have been like “highroad cave exit” and “boc the seamster”.

Current Obsession: I’ve been playing Cult Of the Lamb like literally all day the past few days. and I’ve been playing sooooo much 2048 on my phone. i’m addicted. Me and Kennedy were talking about our first year in college and I remembered when the game came out and us and all our friends sat in one of our dorm living rooms and were all just playing it at the same time. that time of my life was so incredibly complicated but it’s nice to have some fun and not complicated memories.

Last Book: I’ve been re-listening to Howl’s Moving Castle at bedtime because it’s one of my all-time favorite comfort books and I really need some comfort in my life right now. I was listening to The Final Girl’s Support Group but I got halfway through and then real life got incredibly stressful and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I think I want to check the physical book out at the library because I can handle reading stressful things much better than listening to them. I was also working my way back through the Rivers of London series towards the end of last year so I could listen to the latest book, but I kept on getting distracted when I got there and I’m just gonna have to start Amongst Our Weapons over again. Refer back to the whole “life got really stressful” thing.

Looking forward to: um. I dunno man, it’s a bad time to ask me this question hahaha 😅 i’m just taking it day by day right now. (So many of these answers are way more depressing than I meant for them to be hahahah)

I’m tagging some mutuals, but no pressure to respond/participate (and sorry if you’ve already done this!!) 💜

@mallstars, @moonflower-rose, @stationintern, @dragonkingabc123, @lqtraintrack

[maknaesdancersrappers]

i had to take a nap bc this chapter actually tired me out and made me feel sick 😭😭😭 YOUR WRITING IS SOOO GOOD like can we just take a sec to praise you? to be able to make your audience feel the same genuine feelings as your character is just mind blowing like you’re really THAT girl 💅🏾👏🏾👏🏾

idkkkk jae is looking v sus i cant deny that but i went through the playlist you put together for devoted and analyzed some of the songs to see if i could come up with a theory and honestly i still don’t think jae is gonna hurt y/n….

hEAR ME OUT !! dr. jeon legit said while y/n is the trigger she’s also the solution and you’ve made it very clear that no matter what jae will never hurt her…at least physically. he’s def done some things he shouldn’t have and i wouldn’t be surprised if the wedding is put on pause but i think they’ll find their way back to each other or some type of understanding like in college.

when y/n was chatting to jae’s mom she said something along the lines of how she’ll stay forever + in an open forum ask she said the only reason she would leave him is if he were to kill someone…which to our knowledge he hasn’t sooooo🤷🏽‍♀️

#teamjae until the end !!!

also got my eyes on kun….one of the songs on the playlist really gave me the vibes he’s still in love with y/n so now he’s on the suspect list for sure bc there’s no way he’s just gonna let her go like that? especially now that she knows the truth + she knows that he technically didn’t leave her willingly…what if he thinks this is his way back into her life?

this fic is just tooooo good and i’m v happy to have you back :) 🫶🏾🫶🏾

girl istg ur one of the best readers to have bc u just deep dive into every fic and dissect everything like i imagine u like this:

AHAHAHAHHAAH

i luv u for it!!!! thank u so much bb and im glad to be back here uwu

[moonchildstyles]

BESTIE!!! The last part it was so!!!!!!!! oh my god it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside I love him so much and I’m so happy with the way their story came together:((( he really is such a sweetheart i love him so much:( also the way you included his nose 🥸 my jaw dropped I will not lie it was fantastic you’ve done it again, truly! all my love to you!! ���

BESTIE WAIT STOP:(((((( im seriously sooooo happy that you liked this last part and this whole story in general really that means a lot to me thank you so much:( def enjoyed how it all came together and finding those ends to kind of tighten up on and everything!

and ofc here's the thing I will ALWAYS mention his nose im so happy you enjoyed that too SHFUSHFUSHU but thank you again sooooooooo much:( ilyt:(

[delcakoo]

THANK YOU AND IM PROUD OF YOU TOO <333 also good luck for tmrw 🫶🫶🫶.

THEAMD THE SPIDER-MAN MOVIE IS SOOOOO GOOD!!! I love it sm. I’m buzzing thinking about itttt. Tell me your thoughts when you’ve finished it!

— 🧸

OHMYGODOHDHD yES IT WAS amazinf ir was even more beAUTIFUL THAN THE FIRST ONE SOMEHOW I WAS. awestRUCK AT THE ANIMATION AND THE COLORS AND JUST EVERYTHING ☹️ the plot twists were perfect and my fav part is just MILES and his parents I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH i literlaly shed a few tears when his mom gave that speech n’ was like. ‘take care of that little boy for me’ NOOO STOP THISMSHDJD

it was just so good and well done i could talk abt it forever <\3 BUT THE CLIFFHANGER MAN. we’re gonna have to wait another 4-6 years to find out what happens kms 🧌 BUT ANYWAY WHAT DID U THINK OF IT WAHHH TELL ME EVERYTHINGsjhd

[unsolved-duvall]

I know — I'm sure, it's fact, that Eddie would accept and listen to any kinky confession of hi SO without judgment, and he'd find it kinda hot. Like he would be so turned on only by you talking about what makes you all hot and bothered, he would encourage you so much you'd just keep talking and talking and talking and he'd be sooooo red, and soooo so hard-🙈 sorry, is it too much?

𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)

Nothing is ever too much on this blog, Eddie has a chokehold on all of us, it’s okay <3

Eddie would practically melt hearing you talk about your kinks. The man would almost stop breathing. He thinks it’s so fucking hot that you can be so open and honest with him about what you like, what you want him to do to you, or with you.

And imagine that you maybe aren’t the type to be so open about these things normally. Maybe you’ve been dating a while, the sex is good. Really good. Eddie is the only man you’ve been with who has actually made you cum. Maybe before him you even struggled to get yourself there. But Eddie will take as long as he needs to have you a moaning, whimpering mess underneath him. He refuses to stop until your legs are shaking and all you can say is his name, and he’s barley holding it together himself. “Yeah angel? Fuck you look so hot when you cum, Jesus”

And that’s good. You love having sex with Eddie, you’re practically horny teenagers. If you have any free time, you’re having sex. Whatever that may consist of changes depending on the mood you’re both in, but it always ends with you clinging to him whilst he tells you how good you were for him.

And Eddie loves that. He loves being in control. He’s so grateful for the amount of trust you put in him. He knows that letting someone else have so much control over your body is a scary thing, and he’s always checking in. If he thinks you’re too far gone, that you can’t properly consent anymore, he’s stopping. No questions asked. Even if you’re blabbering away, begging him to keep going. He won’t do it. “Nuh-uh baby, you can’t even remember your safe word. We’re done. You were so good for me baby, I promise” He needs you to be completely there and with it when he makes you fall apart underneath him.

And aftercare with Eddie? Fuck.

He will never skip aftercare. He knows how much you need it every time. But especially if you’ve been in sub space, he knows that drop is going to come. The rush of emotions, the vulnerability that comes after being in that headspace. And Eddie needs it to, needs you to know how much he loves you, he needs to know how much you love him. “I love you so much baby, thank you for trusting me.” “Love you too, Eds”

So sure, the sex is fucking hot. But what’s even hotter? When one day you start to tell Eddie about your kinks. He had noticed how slowly you had started opening up to him, telling him what you liked and wanted to try during sex. But one day it’s like the dam burst and you needed to tell him everything. Wanted to tell him everything. So you did.

And Eddie’s certain he’s died and gone to heaven but holy fuck hearing you talk like that has him gripping the arm of the couch to stop him from pinning you underneath him and fucking you until you can’t remember your own name.

But he won’t do that.

Because hearing you tell him your kinks, your turn ons, every dirty thought you’ve ever had? Fuck.

A couple of times he noticed you start to go red, your voice going quieter and your hands fiddling with each other. You were nervous. He knew all your tells, of course he did. But he needed you to keep talking. He needed to know how he could make you fall apart for him.

So he’d encourage you.

“Yeah? Keep going, angel.”

“Fuck baby why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“You’re killing me here sweetheart.”

And you tell him everything. Everything. And Eddie’s making a mental list of everything you say. Because he will do every single thing you’ve told him about. He’s determined to try every kink, every turn on with you. Some of them he’s never even thought about himself, but with you sat in front of him he’s pretty sure he’d sell his soul to the devil if you told him that’s what you wanted.

By the time you’ve finished talking Eddie’s barely breathing anymore. He’s sure he’s never been this hard before. He’s also sure that he’s never loved someone more than he loves you. Not because of the sex, but because someone trusts him enough to be so vulnerable with him.

By the end of the night you’re pinned underneath him on his bed and he’s looking up at you from between your thighs. You don’t know how many times he’s fucked you already. How many sloppy make out sessions you’ve had between rounds, how many times he’s eaten you out. But there is one thing you know.

He’s going to be the death of you. You’re certain of that.

[dbnightingale24]

Stand By Me

Ransom One Shot

~~

Part 1, Part 2

Alright, this is the final installment to ‘A Disaster From The Start’. This story was only ever supposed to be a one shot, and now y’all have a whole damn novel. I’m so sorry I’m like this 😭.  Now, I already know some of you all will be pissed and some of you will be happy, but I would just like to say that I shed A LOT of tears writing this, so be nice to me lol. I of course meant to make this the shortest one, and it of course became the longest one, sooooo there that. Anyway, without further ado, here y’all go!

Thank you to @pagesoflauren​ for making this amazing mood board. I love you so much 🥺.

Word Count: 44,242 (I’m truly so sorry that I am like this!!)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS BE GONE), swearing, arguing, crying, emotional cheating, angst, heartbreak, public sex, unprotected sex, heartbreak, drinking, depression, anxiety, smoking, desperation, longing, and I’m sure I missed something. It’s just A LOT.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter:

I just decided to make y’all a playlist; ‘Stand By Me’

Summary: Deciding that it’s way past time for you to take your life into your own hands, you decide that starting over is the best move for you. However, what happens when there are certain parts that you can’t let go of and move on from?

I do not consent to have any of my works/stories posted elsewhere.

~~

You try and hang on to the little bit of sleep that’s slowly leaving you as you yawn and roll over. You blink up at the ceiling a few times before turning over slightly and looking at the time.

2pm.

You laugh softly to yourself before you gently face palmed yourself. You would sleep in after a huge day. You take a deep breath as you take in the silence of the room. A calmness washes over you. Your eyes water slightly; a small smile comes to your face as you think of everything you went through to get to this point.

Everything you went through to finally find peace and happiness. 

You were alone for all of 1 minute, pacing around in the bridal suite, before Ransom barged in. “Y/N, I’m sorry but I couldn’t-”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” Ryan roared as he stormed in, interrupting,“What the fuck was that little stunt?!”

“You’re real fucking stupid if you didn’t think I’d try to stop this horseshit!”

“Guys please,” you begged softly, your voice weak and small in a room full of teeming anger.

“I’ll deal with you in a minute you little slut!” Ryan snarled at you.

“Fucking watch it,” Ransom warned, his hands already resembling hammer heads.

“Don’t. He has every right-” you say as your voice gets louder and gains strength.

“No he doesn’t! Not when he’s been cheating on you-”

“That doesn’t justify what we did. What I did. I should’ve just-”

“I never cheated on you!” Ryan interjected, and any sense of guilt and remorse you had quickly evaporated.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you snapped. “At least I didn’t fucking lie! I owned up to my shit and now everyone knows what I did! It’s just the three of us and you’re still going to stand there and fucking lie!?”

“I didn’t do anything that would-”

“Yes you fucking did! Jesus, why did I push for this?! I know I’m a fucking coward, but at least I’m fucking honest! I may not deserve much but I deserve a hell of a lot better than this shit! I’m fucking done. I’m over all of it,” you huffed as you pushed away a few stubborn, rolling tears from your cheeks.

“I get humiliated on our wedding day because you’re a whore, and you’re done?! How does that fucking-”

“Call her a whore one more goddamn time and we’re gonna have a real fucking problem. I’m warning you,” Ransom growled through gritted teeth.

“What the fuck are you gonna do, Hugh? Huh? Throw your money in my face? Say something mean? You’re not gonna fucking do sh-”

Ryan was cut off as Ransom’s fist collided with his face.

“Ransom stop!” you yelled as you ran over to him, trying to pull him away.

“You don’t get to treat her like shit and then speak to her that way!” Ransom yelled, connecting another right cross across his face.

“Hey! That’s enough!” your brother John yelled as he ran in to break it up. “Cut it the fuck out! Hasn’t enough happened already today?!”

“He fucking started it!” Ransom spat as he tried to get out of John’s hold. Sam’s husband, Shawn, ran over to help restrain Ransom.

“You fucking hit me!” Ryan hollered, trying to balance himself as he wiped blood off his chin.

“Cause you called her a fucking whore!”

“That’s enough!” your father yelled as he ran into the fray.

Everything was happening too fast and all at once. You wanted to disappear.

“I can’t...I can’t be here right now. I have to go,” you said so softly that you didn’t think anyone heard you.

“No, we can still go out there and go through with this!” Ryan husked, making his way over to you the best that he could. Everyone stepped between yourself and him to block his path to you.

“What? No! Ryan, I don’t want to marry you. I want nothing to do with you!”

“We can get past this! I know it’s messy right now and we’ve both said some things, but there’s nothing-”

“How much will it fucking take, huh?” Ransom asked as he broke out of Shawn’s grip. “How much will it take for you to leave her alone?”

“This isn’t about money-”

“How much?!” Ransom yelled, his patience emptied.

Ryan was silent as he looked around the room before his gaze landed on you. “$20,000.”

“Fine,” Ransom huffed, before taking out his wallet and throwing a wad of cash at him. “I’ll send the rest to your office. From here on out, you stay the fuck away from her. Understand?”

“Yeah fine,” Ryan muttered, bending down to grab the 20’s and 100’s around him.

“I’m only worth $20,000?” you scoffed in disbelief as you tried to fight back the tears that fell freely. “Between the sex, the loyalty up until the end, and patience I had...I definitely thought I’d be worth more,” you laughed humorlessly. “But I guess $20,000 isn’t bad, either.”

“For the way you’d beg me when you were drunk and desperate, I upped the price from-”

This time, Ryan was cut off by your hand slapping hard across the face. “I feel so sorry for you because you’ll never know true love. Money and greed will always only be a dead end, and that’s tragic,” you weakly smiled.

“I did love-”

“No you didn’t. You loved my money. Money that wasn’t even mine. That’s all it ever was. Fuck off and go to hell,” you sobbed before storming out.

You needed to get out of there.

“I need to...I... I need to get out of here,” you sobbed, grabbing your dress and hiking it up just a little before starting on your way out.

“Where do you wanna go?” Ransom asked, coming up beside you.

“Home, Ransom. I wanna go home,” you begged, finally meeting his gaze.

All Ransom did was nod before taking your hand as he lead you out of the venue that had become your own personal hell.

The entire car ride to the Hamptons you cried. Whenever Ransom asked you if you wanted to talk about it, all you could do was shake your head no. When he stopped to get you water and tissues, you only drank after he pleaded multiple times. By the time you two got home your dress felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds, your feet were sore from your heels, and you had a headache from crying so much.

The minute you got in the house, you went straight up the stairs and went to one of the many guest rooms. Ransom left you alone. You barely waited to get into the room before you started to get undressed. The minute you were completely bare you escaped under the covers. You pulled them as close to you as possible before you cried yourself to sleep.

At some point, while you were sleeping, Ransom brought you some of his clothes. When you woke up there were a pair of boxers and one of his tank tops beside you on the bed. You quietly slipped into them but never actually got out of bed. You could faintly hear Ransom going off on someone from the master bedroom. You knew he was on the phone since you didn’t hear anyone yelling back.

“Wasn’t that the deal, you piece of shit? I paid you the money and you’d leave her alone?...It’ll be there soon enough, so stop fucking calling and texting her...she doesn’t want you, Ryan. It’s over. Someone will be by on Monday to pack up and take her things. Leave her the fuck alone, I’m not gonna warn you again....You think I give a shit about you pressing charges? You got off easy earlier. Hurt or bother her again and you’ll fucking regret it,” he warned harshly before ending the call.

You wanted to get up and kiss him. You wanted to thank him for saving you. You wanted to tell him that you love him, and that he’s the only one for you. You wanted him.

However, no matter how much you tried to put it out of your mind, you just couldn’t forget what he did; how you two had come to be in the position that you were currently in. Yeah, you cheated on Ryan with him, but it wasn’t the same. At the end of the day, you’d cheated on Ryan because you’d never truly loved him and your heart had always belonged to Ransom. Ransom cheated on you because he was childish and needed your attention 24/7.

Ransom cheated because he was an asshole trying to prove a point.

You stayed in bed and kept your feelings to yourself. The only time you got up was to go to the bathroom, but even that was connected to the bedroom, so you really never needed to leave.

Ransom dropped off food and water, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t eat and only took little sips. When he tried to get you out of bed, you just turned away and curled into yourself more. There was no way you could explain how you felt and sleeping with him wasn’t going to help anything. Even though all you wanted was his comfort, you decided it would be best to keep to yourself.

By day 2, Ransom was concerned and a little fed up.

“Listen, I know you wanna be alone, but if you don’t eat something soon, I’m gonna tell Sam and your mother where you are,” Ransom sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled, rolling over and looking out the window.

“I know you aren’t, Princess, but you can’t keep this up. You need to shower and eat. You need to get out of bed-”

“I fucked up, Ransom. I fucked up so bad,” you sobbed into your pillow.

“You fucked up because I fucked up,” he sighed as he got in next to you, and pulled you close.

“You can’t pin this on you, Ransom. I’m an adult and I make my own choices-”

“I cheated on you, twice. I told you to trust me and then made it so you couldn’t. You didn’t leave because you wanted to, you left because I hurt you and staying was too painful. You got with Ryan in an attempt to get over me. You cheated because I kissed you-”

“I could’ve said no.”

“No, you couldn’t have,” he chuckled softly. “You’re as addicted to me as I am to you. The only way we can keep ourselves at bay is if we’re not alone in the same room, and I don’t just mean sexually.”

“Ransom-”

“You don’t have to argue with me about everything, Princess. This isn’t a play to get you back. I just want you safe and okay,” he smiled weakly as you finally turned and met his gaze.

“I heard you tell Ryan that someone is gonna pack up my stuff. Where is it going?” you sniffled out, drying your eyes to the best of your ability.

“Here, until you find someplace. I mean, this is our home, so I want you to stay here, but I know that isn’t gonna happen. At least, not the way I want it to.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Give him all that money, stop the wedding. Bring me here?”

“Because I love you, Y/N,” he said as if it were most obvious thing in the world. “I would do anything for you and I know...I know it took me too long to figure that out, but I would. To keep you happy, out of harms way, safe...I’d do any and every thing for you.”

Before you could stop yourself, your lips were on his as you gripped him tight.

“Y/N,” he breathed as you two broke apart, “maybe this isn’t the best time for this.”

“For you or for me?”

“The both of us.”

“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop, but don’t stop on my account.”

“Princess, you’re just upset-”

“So make me feel better,” you pleaded softly.

Ransom was just as defenseless against you as you were with him.

“I love you so much,” he moaned as his hands greedily traveled down to the hem of the boxers you were wearing.

“I love you...thank you,” you moaned as lips seared kisses into your neck. “Thank you for saving me.”

“I’ll always do my best for you,” he promised with a soft husk as he undid his own pants. “I’ll always love you. I’m so fucking sorry-”

“Don’t, please. Not right now,” you whined as you felt the tip of him at your entrance. “I just want us to be together right now.”

“Anything you want, baby,” he grunted as he thrust himself inside of you.

“Fuck yes,” you moaned with a silent gasp.

It hadn’t left your mind that, at the moment, you were being the toxic one. You just needed Ransom. You didn’t want words, and him holding you wasn’t enough. So much happened and you just needed to feel Ransom. You needed to feel complete.

“Fuck!” you moaned as he started biting and sucking on your sweet spot as your fingers ran through his hair: “Just like that!”

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he groaned against your ear, picking up his pace. The strained, pleasured look on his face told you he was trying to hold off his own release. “Seeing you in that dress...”

“Ransom! Please, I’m so fucking close!” you whimpered, feeling the knot in your core tighten, as he hit that spot deep within you that always turned you into a puddle for him.

“God, you don’t know how badly I wanted to make love to you in that fucking dress,” he husked as you gripped him tight.

“Ransom!” you cried, feeling your release wash over you.

In one swift move, Ransom was on his back and you were looking down at him, trying to catch your breath as you tried to come down from your high. “I just wanna make you feel good, Princess. Use me until you’re satisfied,” he demanded breathlessly.

You placed your hands on his chest and started to ride him slowly, ignoring the part of you that ached to always have him like this.

To have him forever.

“I love watching you,” he moaned, his hands traveling up your body. “I love when you’re in control.”

“God, you feel so fucking good! You make me feel so fucking good!”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do,” he groaned as his hands cupped your breasts and started to massage them.

“Fuck!”

“Too fucking good for me, babygirl!”

“I need to hear it, Ransom! I need to hear you fucking say it!”

“I love you, Y/N. I always fucking have and I always fucking will!”

“Yes!” you whimpered, coming apart for him again, but doing your best to ride it out. “I love you!”

“Then make me feel that fucking love!” he grunted as he forced himself upright, his hands now exploring your back. “I want you to bring us both off, baby.”

You dipped down and kissed him deeply, letting yourself get lost in him completely. Nothing else in the world mattered besides you and Ransom, and for the time being, you didn’t want anything to come between either of you. Not the pain you two caused each other, not the arguments. Not the fact that being away from him hurt just as much as being with him. Not the fact that reality was awaiting the both of you, and not the fact that you knew it wouldn’t last.

In that moment, all that mattered to you was Ransom.

“You are everything to me,” you breathed against his lips as you two broke apart, both of you keeping a steady pace. “You’ll always be everything...”

“There’s only ever gonna be you for me, no matter what,” he responded with a tremble as one of his hands made their way between your legs. “No matter what.”

“Fuck! I’m so close! So fucking close!” you cried, tears welled in your eyes as you felt your orgasm building and the reality of everything hitting you at once.

“Just let go, baby. Let go for me.”

“Fuck!” you screamed, your nails digging into his back.

“Y/N!” Ransom exclaimed so faintly it was as if you heard the ghosts of his words as he spilled his release into you.

You both stayed that way for a moment, staying lost in each other’s embrace, listening to each other’s labored breaths and feeling each other’s heartbeat. It was almost like heaven.

“Can we just stay here for a few weeks?” you asked, pulling away and looking down at him.

“We can do whatever you want, baby. This is our home and I just want you to be happy.”

“I love you,” you sniffled out, reality slapping you way too hard again.

“I love you,” he smiled weakly, “lets get you cleaned up and then eat something, okay?”

All you could do was nod meekly.

For the next few weeks, you and Ransom played house. About three days after everything happened, you finally answered your boss when they called. You told them you quit. Your boss offered to fire Ryan on the spot, but you told them that it truly had nothing to do with them. You were unhappy and just didn’t want to do it anymore. The phone call took longer than you would have liked, but in the end, they wished you all the best and let you know that you’d have a place there if you ever decided to return.

You didn’t eat a lot for the first few days, but you ate enough for Ransom to not bug you about it. He made all of your favorite meals and they all tasted amazing; you just didn’t have much of an appetite. You drank and slept the days away to the point that he started hiding the alcohol from you.

“Don’t start this argument, Y/N,” Ransom huffed as you followed him into the kitchen.

“I don’t understand why you’re giving me such a hard time!” you snapped, crossing your arms and furrowing your eyebrows. “I’m a fucking adult!”

“You’re drinking too fucking much and it’s gonna become a problem! I’m not telling you to fucking quit, I’m saying to take it easy for a few days!”

“Ransom-”

“No Y/N, you need to take a fucking break!”

“You used to drink yourself stupid and get as high as a fucking kite! Now you’re telling me-”

“You’re not me, Y/N!” Ransom growled at you.

You knew he was right and that he only had your best interest at heart, but you just wanted to wallow. He was getting in the way of that. You screamed in frustration before bursting into the backyard. You were out there for all of 5 minutes before you felt like a complete pile of shit.

Ransom was taking time away from his business(s) to be there for you. He never pushed or asked too much. He gave you all the space you needed. When you wanted to be left alone, he slept in another room. When you wanted affection, he held you until you fell asleep in his arms and was there when you woke up in the morning. When you wanted him, he let you use him up until you were completely satisfied. Ransom had gone above and beyond for you in ways that you would’ve never imagined, and you were being a complete cunt to him because he was worried about you developing a drinking problem. You went from staying outside because you were furious to staying outside because you were ashamed of yourself.

After 4 hours, Ransom came outside and sat next to you by the pool.

“You need to come inside and eat something,” he mumbled as he kissed your shoulder.

“Stop it, Ransom. Stop being so nice to me, I don’t deserve it,” you muttered, not even bothering to look his way.

“Princess, I’m not gonna be mad at you for going through a tough time, so just let that go.”

“Stop pretending that I’m not being a complete bitch!”

“When did I ever say that you weren’t?” he scoffed. “You’ve been a pain in the ass for the last two weeks, but I get it and I’m not gonna get mad at you. Anyone else I’d tell to go and eat shit, but you’re not just anyone else, you know that. I have more patience with you, and it’s not lost on me that a lot of this is my fault. It started with me years ago and this is where it’s ended up. I do have blame in this and I’m not just gonna get frustrated and leave because you’re going through the ringer.”

“Why do you always have to make getting over you so hard?”

“Because I don’t want you to get over me,” he smiled gently.

“I have to find a place,” you sniffled as you wiped your eyes.

“Or you can just stay here. We can stay here.”

“Ransom...don’t. You know I can’t stay here.”

“Why? This was always supposed to be where we-”

“No it wasn’t. You bought this place as an attempt to get me back that ultimately didn’t work.”

“Y/N, I had planned to buy this place the minute we left. I know the way I told you was fucked up and not ideal, but this was always meant to be our home,” he finished sincerely.

“I can’t give you what you want and I hate that, because it means I can’t have what I truly want, but I’m not going to give you false hope. ‘Cause I don’t know what the future holds for us,” you said softly, doing your best to sound as confident as possible. “I can’t just keep jumping into relationships, and I can’t just get back with you because we love one another. I need to be alone for a while. I need to start doing what makes me happy, doing what I love....I need to figure out what I love.”

Ransom sighed and was thoughtful for a moment. “I want you to be happy and I’m not gonna push, but I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. I’m still going to love you and I’ll wait for you. Maybe I’ll be waiting in vain, but I’m not ready to give up hope. Not yet,” he confessed as he cupped your face.

God, why can’t you just let go of the past?

“Help me look for a place?” you questioned, fighting off even more tears.

“I’d love to,” he smiled before kissing you deeply.

In that days that followed, Ransom talked you into moving back to Marlborough, noting that it would be good for you to be by your mother and Sam while you took your time working through everything. He was honest about wanting you to be selfishly closer to him, but he helped you settle on an apartment that was a good distance from him. He had someone pick up your things and get them settled for you, so by the time you got there, you wouldn’t have to do a thing.

“You have to get back, Ransom. You have work-”

“Work is fine. I’ve been checking in and keeping up to date. I’m well aware of what’s going on. I’m ready to leave whenever you are,” he interrupted gently, pulling you close as both laid in bed.

“I’ll never be ready to leave, but this is something I have to do. I’m definitely not ready to sleep alone.”

“You know my bed is always open to you,” he smirked as one of his hands traveled between your legs.

“Ransom,” you moaned “we have to stop.”

“We are stopping, aren’t we?” he husked as he slid two fingers into your aching core. “If everything changes when we get back, shouldn’t we get as much of each other as we can?”

“Baby,” you moaned, your toes curling.

“Just wanna please you one more time. I wanna explore and get lost in you one last time,” he moaned, pressing himself against you so you could feel just how deeply he desired you.

“I’m all yours to explore,” you moaned as you came all over his fingers.

Ransom took his time taking you out of his clothes, kissing every inch of your body that he could get his lips on. When you felt his tongue on your clit, you let out a soft moan as your fingers ran through his hair, loving the way he was taking you apart bit by bit. He was a torment between your legs and by the way he was gripping you, you could tell that he was relishing the response he was pulling from you.

“Need you, baby,” you whimpered after he brought you off for the third time. “Need all of you, please!”

“Just one more time for me, please?” he pleaded breathlessly, looking up at you with your juices glistening on his beard.

All you could do was nod as you softly stroked his face. Ransom quickly dipped back down and dove in, sucking and licking on your clit with so much ferocity while fucking you with his fingers, you came almost instantly. When you did cum, his name escaped your lips like a silent prayer.

“I just wanna commit every part of you to my memory,” he husked after he kissed his way up your body. “Your scent, your smell, the feel of you...I wanna remember all of it,” he moaned as he thrust himself inside of you.

“Fuck! Take what you need from me! I wanna give you everything...all of me,” you cried, as you clenched around him, wanting to stay tangled up in the sheets with him forever

“You’re so fucking perfect, did you know that? Everything about you...fuck,” he groaned, looking down at you, a beautiful mess beneath him. “So fucking gorgeous! God, I love you so much!”

You pulled him close and kissed him deeply as your back arched, trying to get as close, and as much of him, as possible.

“I swear God made you just for me,” he husked against your lips as his movements started to become erratic.

“I need it, Ransom! Need to feel you deep inside of me, please!” you cried, the knot in your core tightening to it’s breaking point.

“Need to hear you say it, baby. Always need to hear you say it,” he begged breathlessly.

“I love you, Ransom. I’ll always love you!” you confessed with a sob as you came apart for him.

“Shit!” he groaned, spilling his seed into you as he did his best to ride out both of your highs.

Ransom had you two more times that night before you both succumbed to sleep, but that didn’t last long because he woke you up a few hours later with his head between your legs. The next morning, you both stayed in bed for hours, just holding one another and trying to avoid the inevitable. If you were being honest with yourself, Ransom being so supportive was making everything that much harder.

You knew how much he wanted you to choose him and to just go back with him, but he knew it was something you needed to do. He knew that you wouldn’t truly be happy until you got back to your old self. Ransom truly had done his best to be better for you, and it made you fall even harder for him, and you didn’t think that was even possible.

However, the past still stung.

The entire drive to Marlborough was silent. You two held hands but couldn’t stand to look at one another. How was it possible to love someone so much, and still not be able to be able to trust them? Why couldn’t your heart just let go of him or the past?

He pulled up to the registration office and waited for you while you went inside to sign a few papers and pick up your keys. You’d settled for a two bedroom apartment at Talia (Ransom insisted that if you were determined to have an apartment, it should be a luxury one), just in case your niece or Sam ever wanted to sleepover, they’d have their own space. Ransom drove you to your side of the complex and you both just sat in silence.

“Do you want me to go up with you?” he asked so softly you barely heard him.

“No, because then I’ll never be able to let you leave, and that defeats the whole purpose of this,” you sniffled out, looking up to the third floor.

“What does this mean for us, Princess?”

“I wish I could tell, Ransom. I really do, because then I’d know for myself,” you chuckled humorlessly as your tears continued to flow freely. “I wanna pay you back, Ransom. The money-”

“No, you don’t owe me for that. You don’t owe me for anything.”

“Ransom please. I just...I need to, okay? You and everyone tried to talk me out of that stupid wedding, but I was just so afraid...just let me do it, please?”

His heavy sigh let you know that he’d let you pay it back.

“I should get up there and start unpacking and everything, and you need to get back to running your restaurants,” you smiled weakly.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“And I love you,” sniffled before kissing him deeply then getting out of his car.

You grabbed your bag from his backseat and made your way inside. Ignoring the mind numbing pain that always showed itself when you left Ransom.

The first two months were brutal. Sam spent two weeks at your place, just holding you at night while you cried. You told her that she didn’t need to stay, but she was worried. Your mother came by a lot to help you decorate and made you food, while you just sulked and kept an eye on your phone.

Always waiting to hear from him.

However, Ransom was good and respectful. He only text to check in and make sure you were okay. You could always tell when he was drunk because he’d always text you how much he loved and missed you, and you never responded to those texts because you knew you’d cave. He’d always apologize the next day though and promise to never do it again.

Your brother and father would stop by and keep your mind occupied with talks of sports and politics, which you secretly appreciated because it really did take your focus off of everything, but when they left everything was silent and painful again.

By the third month, you decided that it was really time for you to get a job.

You told yourself that you were done with the corporate world and you just wanted something more suited to your personality. You’d considered becoming a dog groomer, but the thought of potentially hurting a dog sent your anxiety through the roof. You’d always loved writing, and were sure that Harlan would help you if you needed it, but you didn’t see yourself becoming all that successful with it. Art was the one thing you’d always been passionate about, but that felt way too personal. That was just for you.

At the end of the day, you’d decided that becoming a florist was the way to go. No, it wasn’t a high paying job like your family wanted, but financially, you were more than fine. You’d always loved plants and they always calmed you. So, you applied at a few local shops and worked on a few paintings while you waited to find to find out.

The minute you found out you were hired, you sent the text without even thinking.

Y/N: I GOT THE JOB!!

Only One: What job? Lol

Y/N: I applied to work at local flower shop and I got it! Well...I applied at a few, but I got the one I really wanted!!

Only One: Lol that’s great, Princess. Come over to the restaurant tonight and we’ll celebrate.

Y/N: Yeah?

Only One: Why not? This is something worth celebrating! I’m proud of you, babe. I promise to be on my best behavior.

You were thoughtful before you responded. You knew that saying no would be in your best interest, but you missed him so much. Plus, you two would be at the restaurant. It would be full of people.

Y/N: What time and which restaurant?

Only One: Sunshine and let’s say...7?

Y/N: I’ll see you then :)

You were more excited than you should have been about seeing him, but you were confident that you’d be on your best behavior. You tried not to over think your outfit, but you couldn’t stop it.

No matter what, you always wanted to look good for him.

When you walked inside, you saw him sitting at the bar, looking just as nervous as you felt. You couldn’t stop the smile that came to your face even if you had wanted to. As you started on your short trip to where he was, he looked over and flashed you the biggest smile.

God, you’d missed him so much.

“Congrats Princess!” he beamed, engulfing you in a tight that you happily returned as you took in his scent.

He smelled so fucking good. You hadn’t realized how much you could miss a scent until you left Ransom the first time.

“Thanks! I’m oddly excited about it,” you chuckled as you two broke away from each other and you took a seat on the stool next to him. Ransom was about to say something, but stopped short as he looked you over and chuckled. “What?” you smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he smirked, shaking his head.

“Now you have to tell me!” you laughed.

“I thought I lost that shirt,” he motioned towards the AC/DC shirt you were wearing.

“You never wore it!”

“I was gonna!”

“Ransom, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never worn this shirt!”

“I was going to at some point! Maybe I would’ve been wearing it if I could’ve found it. You’ve been running around in it in Massachusetts, raising hell. I’m missing a black Henley sweater too. That your doing as well?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

When a coy smile came to your face, he scoffed.

“You’re such a fucking thief!”

“It’s so comfortable!” you groaned as he started laughing. “I couldn’t help myself!”

“You stole it that Christmas you stayed at my house, didn’t you?”

“You’re the one who let me sleep in it!”

“Wow, the criminal blaming the victim? That’s a low blow, even for you, Y/N,” Ransom sighed, feigning hurt feeling.

“Fuck off Drysdale,” you giggled.

“I’m putting my wallet in my other pocket. Who knows what else you’re capable of stealing.”

“I’m gonna hit you in a minute,” you laughed.

“Abusive too?! Jesus!” he gasped before letting a coy smirk play on his lips. “Usual, Princess?”

“Yes please,” you smiled at him.

From that moment on, the conversation flowed effortlessly, and nothing felt out of place at all. It felt as if you were catching up with your best friend after months apart, because in all honesty, you were.

Time flew by and before either of you had realized, it was time to go.

“You’d think that because I own the place I’d be able to keep it open as long as I want,” he muttered as the bar tender dropped off the bill.

“People have lives,” you chuckled as you pulled out your wallet. “If you wanna stay here so bad, you make the drinks.”

“What? No? That’s fucking annoying,” he mumbled, taking out his own wallet.

“Such a spoiled little shit,” you mused as the bar tender came back and you attempted to give him your card.

“Yeah, don’t take that card, she’s a crazy person,” Ransom teased, swatting your hand away. “Everything on this card,” he nodded before tossing the guy his card.

“Ransom! I can pay for myself-”

“I know I know, but I was recently given $50,000. I think I can handle this,” he smirked.

“I’m a working woman now, I can-”

“It’s a gift, Princess. I wanted to celebrate your success, so it’s only right that I pay for it,” he smiled softly.

You ignored the butterflies in your stomach and shoved your wallet back into your jean pocket. “Next hangout is on me.”

“It’s a deal.”

You both took your time getting your things together and getting to your car, as always, trying to prolong the inevitable. By the time you both got your car, both you were trying to prolong the conversation about your love of plants.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around sometime, Princess,” Ransom smiled as you two stood by your car. “Are you okay to get home?”

“I only had 4 drinks.”

“4 Jack and Coke doubles.”

“4 drinks.”

“Jesus, what am I gonna do with you?”

“That’s something you’ve never been able to figure out, isn’t it?” you smirked.

“I’m not taking that bait,” he laughed. “Just let me know-”

“Come over,” you interjected before you could stop yourself.

“What?”

“You haven’t actually seen the new place and, after 4 remodels by yours truly, it’s finally in its final form.”

“Princess...are you sure?”

“We’re both adults, right? Just because you’re coming over doesn’t mean anything has to happen,” you sighed. “I’m just not ready to say goodnight yet..are you?”

“I’m never ready to leave you, Princess,” he confessed softly.

You both wordlessly agreed to go back to your place; him following you even though you knew he remembered the way back to your place.

There was an awkward silence as you both rode the elevator to the third floor, both of you shifting weight from foot to foot as both did your best to avoid eye contact.

When it finally landed on your floor, you both let out a silent sigh of relief as you quickly made your way out.

Why was this so awkward? Why couldn’t anything ever just be simple?

“Welcome to Casa De Y/N,” you laughed nervously as opened your door and let you both in.

“Huh,” Ransom scoffed as he looked around.

“What?” you questioned as you toed off your shoes.

“Nothing, it’s just...this feels like you. It’s nice to see how you like things.”

“You were in my dorm room all the time.”

“Yeah, but that was how long ago now? You’re different now, so your style’s changed, which is why I’m guessing don’t see any terrible band posters hanging up,” he smirked as he kicked off his own shoes.

“The Arctic Monkeys are a great band! You’re just jealous.”

“Just another generic British band,” he shrugged as he made his way around your apartment.

“A true hater,” you mumbled as you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Princess,” Ransom laughed awkwardly from what you assumed was your bedroom.

“It doesn’t have to be alcohol, Ransom,” you sighed, slowly making your way to your room. “I don’t want this to be awkward, Ransom. Why is this awkward?”

“You know why it’s awkward, Princess.”

“I just want to see you...I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, baby. Which is why this is so fucking hard. I can contain myself in public, that’s one thing. However, when we’re alone...like this,” he continued lowly, slowly making his way over to you “all I can do is think about what I wanna do to you. How much I love you and how badly I wanna make you feel that love,” he all but growled as he pinned you against the wall.

“Ransom,” you moaned softly, the feel of his breath on your neck driving you wild.

“I was so happy when you text me and so fucking proud you,” he groaned and you could tell that he was trying restrain himself. “I thought I could just take you out and that would be that, but when I saw you...you’re mine Y/N,” he growled.

“Fuck Ransom,” you whimpered, arching your back so that your chest was pressed up against his, desperate to feel any part of him.

“So, in order for me not fuck up any progress that’s been made, I should leave right now, because I know that tight little cunt is dripping for me and I need a taste so fucking bad,” he husked.

All you could do was nod.

Ransom lingered for a moment, fighting the urge to do what he really wanted, before he forced himself away from you and rushed out of your room and out of your apartment. You took a few deep breaths before unzipping your jeans and sliding your hand down your panties, desperate to relieve the pressure from your aching core.

Ransom’s name left your lips like a silent prayer as you got closer to your climax, like it did every other night. You were just about to be sent over the edge when you heard a pounding on your door.

Desperately hoping for your night to take a turn for the better, you rushed to open it, only to find yourself slight disappointed to see Sam standing there with two bottles of wine, one bottle of tequila, and a plastic bag full of something.

She looked you over and raised an eyebrow. “I just saw a very flustered Ransom-”

“Nothing happened,” you sighed, stepping aside to let her in before closing the door. “Do you think I’d look so depressed if it had?”

“Fair point, babe,” she laughed as you made way over to your kitchen sink and washed your hands.

You definitely were getting off that night.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s better this way, honestly. I was moments away from grabbing my phone and begging him to come back.”

“Have you tried fucking anyone other than Ransom since you decided to take time off from dating?”

“I wasn’t even trying to fuck him, Sam. It’s just different with him. I love him, we all know this, and it’s just never gonna change.”

“It’s been how many years now?” she asked as she opened the tequila.

“A long time. What’s going on?” you asked grabbing two glasses.

“No, we’re talking about you right now.”

“Sam, you’re here unannounced, a lot of alcohol, and a bag full of...”

“Hair dye, I figured we’d dye each other’s hair, theeennnn tomorrow, we can get tattoos!” she beamed as she took a glass from you.

“Sam, this is freshman year of college all over again...and freshman year of high school. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know how much longer Shawn and I are going to be together,” she sighed as she poured you both a tall glass of tequila.

“What?! Why?!” you questioned, quickly sitting by her on the sofa.

“I just feel things changing between us. No, I don’t think he’s cheating, but I definitely don’t keep his attention like I used to. He used to love just hanging out at home, watching movies together, going on trips together, and hiking...now, it just feels like he would rather be anywhere else,” she sobbed.

“Have you tried talking to him-”

“Multiple times, but he just says it’s all my imagination and I have nothing to worry about. He swears he’s just as in love with me as he was the first time we met.”

“Hun, maybe he has something special planned for you two?”

“No, because you can just tell. You can tell when things change. You felt it with Ryan.”

“That was a different,” you quickly interjected. “I stayed for all the wrong reasons. I stayed to avoid...that doesn’t matter right now,” you smiled weakly as you cleared your throat. “So, you think the solution is dying your hair?”

“That and tattoos, because it’ll make me feel young, and that’s something I’ll need since I’ll be back on the market.”

“I really don’t think he’s gonna leave you, babe,” you sighed mournfully. “However, if this is what you wanna do, it’s what we’re gonna do,” you smiled at her.

“I love you,” she sobbed as she engulfed you in the tightest hug she could garner at that point.

“I love you too, babe. Forever and always.”

You two stayed up singing 90’s pop hits and 80’s metal loud and off key, ordering way too much pizza, dying each other’s hair, going through the tequila she bought, and ended up watching black and white movies until 4am.

“Did it hurt this much?” Sam drunkenly asked as you both laid in your bed, drunk as hell and fighting sleep.

“Hmm? Did what hurt this much?” you asked groggily.

“Saying goodbye to Ransom? Each time...tonight.”

“I don’t think there’s any pain in the world that can compare to that, honestly. We almost had everything and then...then we didn’t,” you sighed, fighting back tears.

“I still don’t think he’s worthy of you, but I hate that I think that. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you, and I really do wish he was it, because you both love each other so much. Ya know, I saw you two out one night, after you told me you’d been sleeping with him regularly...the way he held and looked at you, the way he made sure that you were never too far from him...I don’t think I’ve ever had that with Shawn. Don’t get me wrong, I know Shawn loves...loved me, but it was never as deep as you and Ransom’s love, which always made me kind of jealous, and I guess, angry with Ransom. I guess I can’t blame him though,” Sam sighed as she rolled over and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close to her.

“Oh, why is that?” you chuckled, still fighting sleep as you settled yourself so she could lay her head on your chest.

“Ransom’s never really had anyone to love or care for. It’s always ever been him for himself. He didn’t have siblings, his family sucked, his parents are the worst, and he was just kind of left to his own devices to figure it all out. When all you have are shitty examples to follow...it just makes sense,” she sighed as she started to drift in and out of consciousness.

“He had his grandparents,” you countered with a scoff.

“Which, according to you, he wasn’t around a lot.”

“Sam-”

“I’m not trying to push you towards him, Y/N. I’m honestly not, I’m just saying that the love you two have for one another is like something out of a fairy tale, and I’d give anything for that...especially if it could save my marriage,” she sobbed quietly.

You hugged Sam tight as she cried, kissing the top of her head softly, and just stroked her arm softly before she finally fell asleep.

You were ready for bed yourself, before you decided it would be best to text Ransom and apologize for the way the night ended. You were genuinely surprised when you grabbed your phone and saw a text from him from hours ago.

Only One: I’m sorry, Princess. Honestly. Having you that close to me and alone...it’s been a while babe, and I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much and I promise it won’t happen again...not unless you want it to. I’m completely at your mercy at this point. I always have been and always will be. Please rest, okay? I love you and I’ll talk to you...whenever you want to talk to me.

You wiped away your tears and set your phone aside before deciding that you’d had enough and were ready for bed.

When Sam woke you up a few hours later, you could’ve strangled her.

You knew she was going through a hard time, but the both of you were almost 40. All night benders weren’t as nice to you the next day as they were when you were 24.

“Tattoos! We have to get tattoos!” she whined as she pulled you up.

“You were serious about that?” you asked groggily as you focused on keeping your eyes open.

“I was serious about it in high school and college, why wouldn’t I be serious about it now?”

“Because we’re almost 40,” you groaned before laying back down and pulling the cover over your head.

“Y/N!” Sam snapped, pulling the cover off your head and glaring at you.

“Okay okay, can we at least get breakfast?” you groaned, finally opening your eyes completely.

“If you get the fuck up,” she snapped with a scowl.

“Sam, it’s 11:30am. What the fuck?”

“We’re walk-ins! The earlier we get in, the better!” she whined, getting off the bed and scrambling to get her shoes on. “We should get it over with now!”

“Oh, that’s real romantic,” you scoffed, sitting up and giving yourself a moment to get yourself together.

“You know you’re my only true love,” she giggled, poking her head back into your room before tossing your shoes in.

“Sam, at least let me shower first!”

“No time! Get up!” she yelled from your kitchen.

You groaned, but grabbed your phone before forcing yourself out of bed. The first, second, and technically third time you left Ransom, you weren’t much better. The last time you forced yourself away from Ransom , Sam stayed with you for 2 weeks and never complained.

However, you really didn’t believe that Shawn was going to leave her.

Maybe she didn’t believe like she and Shawn had the same connection you and Ransom had, but the way Shawn spoke to you about her had you believing there was more to the story. So, against your better judgment, you text Ransom and asked him to meet you for lunch. You didn’t wanna think about the night before and hopefully he wouldn’t bring it up.

In the meantime, Sam talked you into two tattoos instead of one.

“Honestly, we should just spend the rest of the day getting tattoos,” Sam laughed as you two left the parlor.

“Missy, you need to get home. Shawn has sent me multiple texts asking if you’re with me and if you’re okay.”

“It’s only because I’ve been ignoring his calls,” she shrugged as she took out a cigarette and lit it.

“Sam!”

“What? I’m just not ready for him to ask me for a divorce.

“Sam, he’s concerned! He’s not going anywhere!”

“You can care about someone and still not feel right being with them.”

“Don’t I know it?” you scoffed, taking out your own cigarette.

“Y/N, you know I didn’t-”

“I know and it’s fine,” you smiled after exhaling a cloud of smoke. “You should go home to him though. He misses you, Sam. He misses you and genuinely loves you. Everything will make sense sooner or later, I’m sure of it,” you smiled at her.

“You really think so?”

“He’s been obsessed with you since he was a shitty drummer in a shitty band,” you smiled at her.

“College feels like forever ago,” she chuckled. “We were so young and stupid then.”

“We’re still stupid, just older now,” you laughed.

“Ya know, I make it a point to not keep people around, but I’ve known you since I was...7? I’m really happy you stuck around. I’m really happy to have you by my side through everything,” she smiled with misty eyes.

“I’m here always and forever, you know that,” you promised, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Fuck, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she humorlessly chuckled as she hugged you back just as tight, allowing a few tears to fall.

“I’ve done nothing, and if you get home and everything seems or feels terrible, you come back to my place. Okay?”

“I don’t wanna bother-”

“You come to my place if it’s too much. I mean it.”

“Thank you,” she smiled as she wiped away a few lone tears. “You know that I didn’t mean anything-”

“I do and you don’t need to worry about it. Ransom and I...we’re as complicated as they come,” you scoffed.

“Do you need to talk about it? Do you want to?”

“We spend too much time worrying about me,” you laughed. “I’m truly okay.”

“If you need me...”

“I know,” you smiled. “You’re always there, babe. Just get home and be with him. I know it’s gonna work itself out,” you smiled at her.

“Okay,” she said firmly before clearing her throat. “I’m gonna buy some jewelry from this place before going home and you...?”

“I’ll be fine. Honestly, please don’t worry about me. If I need you, I’ll call you,” you promised.

Sam just gave you a small nod before heading inside the tattoo parlor. You watched her for a few moments before getting into car and driving off. For once, you didn’t feel too bad about going to see Ransom. You weren’t acting upon your own selfish desires, you genuinely were concerned for Sam, and Ransom was the only way that you could connect the dots.

You text him and let him know that you would be a little late, but let him know you’d be there soon.

Sam just gave you a small nod before heading inside the tattoo parlor. You watched her for a few moments before getting into car and driving off. For once, you didn’t feel too bad about going to see Ransom. You weren’t acting upon your own selfish desires, you genuinely were concerned for Sam, and Ransom was the only way that you could connect the dots.

You text him and let him know that you would be a little late, but let him know you’d be there soon.

When you finally arrived at the coffee shop, he was sitting there, sipping what you were assuming was an espresso (his favorite), and looking better than he had any right to.

‘Annoying piece of shit,’ you thought to yourself as you made your way over to him.

“Hey,” he smiled at you as you took a seat.

“Hey,” you responded barely making eye contact with him as you took a seat. “I’m sorry to ask to meet-”

“You dyed your hair?” Ransom questioned, taking note of the blue streaks in your hair.

“Yeah, well, Sam came over and did it while we drank and talked.”

“Oh,” he laughed “she’s in one of those moods, huh?”

“Well, that’s why I asked you to meet me,” you started nervously. “I know you’re friends with Shawn and I was wondering if...what?” you questioned when he scoffed.

“Nothing Princess. What were you wondering?”

“No, tell me because you’re very clearly annoyed by something,” you snapped crossing your arms. Now it was your turn to be annoyed.

“Everything that happened last night and you wanna talk about Sam and Shawn?”

“Ransom-”

“Why can’t you just move past it?!” he quipped as he slammed his hand down on the table, gaining a few stares.

Your blood started to boil and you snapped.

“You don’t think I’ve tried? You don’t think I want to?! Every time I think I’ve gotten past it and can try again with you, I fucking remember! It’s not enough that I know you cheated twice, I fucking caught you in the act the second time!” you yelled.

“Y/N-”

“You think this is fun for me?” you continued, your eyes starting to water. “You think its fun for me to be painfully in love with you and also terrified that you’ll hurt me again? You don’t think I wanna just pick an emotion and fucking stick with it?! Being with you hurts just as much as not being with you, and my head and my heart can’t come to an agreement! So no, as much as I want and have tried to move past it, I fucking can’t!” you huffed, your whole body humming with anger and pain.

“I’m sorry, Princess. I don’t know why-”

“Ya know what? Fuck this, I don’t know why I...ugh!” you grunted as you pushed your chair out and furiously wiped your eyes.  “I’ll just talk to Shawn myself!”

“Y/N, please don’t go,” Ransom pleaded, following you after he threw some money down on the table.

“You didn’t wanna fuck me last night because you didn’t wanna ruin any potential progress that had been made, well what the fuck do you think you just did?!” you questioned as you continued your angry walk to your car.

“Princess, I’m sorry. I’m just...I know I won’t fuck up like that ever again and if you could just-”

“I did, Ransom! I did and you turned around and did the same thing!” you cried, finally turning to face him when you reached your car. “You think I don’t want to just be with you? That I’m not frustrated with myself? God, you are everything to me and all I want is to just...move on! I want to be with you so bad, but I look at you and I remember. I look at you and feel everything, because, fuck! You are everything!” you sobbed.

Before you could register what was happening, Ransom’s arms were around your waist and he pulled in for a kiss that was so deep and passionate, your legs almost gave out.

“I know I have no right to want or ask anything of you,” he stated breathlessly once you two broke apart “but please just try again. Believe in us now like you did before.”

His eyes held so much promise, love, regret, fear, and desperation. The hope that had been there years ago was almost completely gone.

It truly broke your heart.

“I can’t do this with you, Ransom,” you responded, looking away from him as you tried to keep your composure. “It all just hurts too much.”

“And I know that. I know this all my damn fault, but if you could just-”

“I want to. I want to so fucking bad, but fuck, if you could just hear and see everything that’s going on inside my heart and my brain...”

“Y/N, what if we just-”

“I keep telling you not to wait for me for a reason. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for this again. For us,” you cried softly.

“For me, there’s only you. There’s only ever going to be you,” he promised softly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’ve tried to drown myself in pussy, pills, and booze, in an attempt to move on from you, but I just can’t. I don’t want to hurt or stress you. I don’t want to turn your life upside down and I don’t want to complicate things for you. The only thing I want is to love and be with you forever. I wanna get married and have kids with you. I want to grow old with you and die in your arms. I wanna keep laughing at the same stupid jokes we’ve been laughing about for years. I wanna see your face light up when you watch ‘Roman Holiday’. I want everything and then some with you, if you could just give me another chance,” he begged desperately.

“Why couldn’t you figure this out before?! Why did you have to lose me in order for you to figure all of this out?!”

“Because I’m a fool, Y/N. I was a little fool who thought he was invincible. I never thought I’d fall in love and then you came along. You came along and changed everything for me, and I tried my hardest to pretend it wasn’t happening, but you took over my heart and soul. The last time you left...I finally figured it out. I knew that if you ever took me back, I’d never do another thing to hurt or make you sad. I’d never take you or your love for granted again,” he sobbed.

“Ransom...I just don’t know. I don’t know if I can ever move past what went wrong, which is why you should take the opportunity to move on if it ever comes along.”

“That’s what you’re not getting,” he chuckled humorlessly. “I’ve tried to move on. Fuck, I want to move on because it’ll be best for and help you, but I can’t. I have tried so many times...your face is all I see. No matter how much pussy I bury myself in, no matter how many times I get off, no matter how fucked up I get, and no matter how much I try and let myself move on...everything comes back to you.”

“Ransom-”

“I can’t move on from you and I don’t want to. I don’t want you to move on from me, because I am so fucking selfishly in love with you. If I had known then what I know now, things would have gone so differently. I would’ve gotten it right the first time.”

“But you didn’t ,” you responded softly, wiping away your tears.

“I can get it right this time though, I promise. I can be the man you need me to be,” he pleaded desperately.

“I can’t be here right now, I have to go ,” you sniffled, drying your eyes.

“Princess-”

“Ransom, I have to go. I can’t be around you right now. Not like this,” you sobbed, wiping away your tears before turning and opening your car door.

“I’m begging-”

“I know and I wish I could...I wish I was strong enough,” you confessed in almost a whisper. “I’ll be seeing you,” you smiled weakly.

The tears that welled in Ransom’s eyes let you know that he remembered and understood the reference, which just made your heart hurt even more.

It didn’t help that when you got into your car and started it, Billie Holiday’s version of ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’ started playing.

You wanted to go home, but you knew that being alone wasn’t in your best interest.

So, in a matter of 15 minutes, you found yourself at what was now your mother’s place.

“Well, this is a welcomed surprised,” she beamed as she stepped aside to let you in.

“I half expected for you and Dad to greet me,” you chuckled, trying to mask your own heartbreak.

“I guess that was pretty obvious, huh?” she laughed. “It’s over now though, just like I thought it would be, but it was nice. For a moment, we almost had it all,” she smirked at you before grabbing a glass and starting to make drinks for the both of you.

“What made you leave?”

“I always knew I would,” she sighed, sitting next to you on the sofa and handing you your drink, “but I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. I just wanted to pretend that things were the way they were when we were kids for a while.”

“What do you mean you knew you’d always leave?”

“During the divorce...I just knew. I let myself believe that he really had nothing before, when in reality, he had everything. He had me, your brother, and you. That was enough for him until it wasn’t, and I tell myself that I put up with so much so that you would know what you shouldn’t deal with. In return, you showed me that I deserve better. I’ll always love your father and I miss him, but I should have let go and moved on a long time ago,” she sighed before taking a sip of her drink. “Love is the most addictive drug of all time,” she chuckled.

“That’s what I keep telling myself with Ransom,” you sighed, taking a sip of your own drink.

“Oh, you and Ransom are complete opposites from your father and I,” she scoffed. “I’ve spoken to him multiple times at length. He got it right where your father got it wrong. Of course, it took him too long to figure it out, but he knows that he has everything with you. You are his beginning and end.”

“I don’t know how it’s so easy for you to take his side when-”

“I never wanted to like Ransom. Especially for you. It’s extremely easy for me to hate him, but at the end of the day, your father chose all of that shit over his family long before Ransom came along. I thought Ransom was a piece of shit, honestly, but then I saw how he looked at you. Mainly, how he looked at you when you weren’t paying attention. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that you two were sleeping together. Hell, your father probably would’ve figured it out if he weren’t so fucking busy...anyway, after I put two and two together, I paid closer attention to him. At some point in June, he got rid of that hideous pinky ring, and then you randomly went away for a week at the same time he was,” she scoffed before taking a sip of her drink.

“You noticed all of this and said nothing?”

“You were an adult, Y/N. You had to make your own choice and, I’d like to think, with you seeing me be unable to pull myself away from your father, it showed you how to be stronger for yourself. In return, seeing you be so strong gave me the strength I needed to leave your father.”

“Yet you’re still team Ransom?”

“I’m team whatever makes you happy, but I know you inside and out. You love hard, and for you to still love him this much and be conflicted, that’s something worth exploring,” she smiled softly.

“I caught him, Ma. With my own eyes and I just...I wanna either decide to make it work with him or just move on, but the thought of moving on feels wrong and like a betrayal, but every time I think I’m strong enough to give it another try, I remember. I remember walking in on them and him shattering my heart for the second time. Fuck, why couldn’t he just get it right the first time?” you cried as your mother put her drink down and wrapped in a tight hug. “ I just want to take him back and I can’t, and it hurts so fucking much,” you sobbed into her shoulder.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” she sighed, stroking your back softly, sniffling a  little herself.

You cried to your mother for what felt like forever, before you got yourself together and made the both of you dinner. She told you about business ventures that she was thinking of pursing and you told her that you’d start your new job at the ‘The Floral Gallery’ on Friday.

“A florist, huh?” she smirked as you two did dishes. “It’s very fitting.”

“Trust me, I made a chart and crossed off so many things,” you scoffed as she laughed. “Ransom took me out last night to celebrate.”

“How’d that go?”

“It was fine until the end, which was really my fault. I’m the one who invited him over.”

“Why would you-”

“I just wasn’t ready to say goodnight. I wasn’t ready to be without him. Dinner went so well and we had so much fun...I laughed so hard. It was perfect. So, I invited him over with the innocent intention of just talking and maybe watching a movie, but we were alone and that made all the difference. He left before anything happened and as he was leaving, Sam came over-”

“Which is why I’m guessing you have blue streaks in your hair,” your mother chuckled.

“It wasn’t even my idea this time!” you defended as she laughed. “She’s going through something with Shawn and wanted have a girl’s night. We drank, ordered shit, dyed each other’s hair, and passed out. We went for tattoo’s today.”

“Why do you keep getting those damn things?” she groaned as you laughed.

“I’ve only ever gotten tattooed with Sam and I only have 4. You’ll be fine,” you chuckled. “Anyway, since Shawn and Ransom are friends, I figured I’d ask him what’s going on with him.Which resulted in me showing up here and crying,” you chuckled humorlessly.

“What’s going on with Sam and Shawn?!”

“She’s convinced that he’s gonna leave her and I just don’t see it. He’s so in love and obsessed with her...”

“No, she’s definitely over thinking that. He worships her.”

“I’m just gonna ask him directly. Probably what I should’ve done in the first place,” you sighed as you put the last dish away.

“Y/N, you will come to a decision at some point, and whatever you choose will be the right thing because you chose it,” your mother smiled reassuringly.

“Yeah, cause I’ve been making such good choices lately,” you laughed as you shook your head.

“Y/N, you have been making good choices and no matter what, I am so proud of you. You’ve been so strong and have showed so much strength in these last few months. Give yourself some credit and hold your head high. It’s all gonna workout as it should,” she smiled sincerely.

“On that note,” you smiled with misty eyes “I should get home.”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

“Y/N-”

“Mom, I promise I’ll be okay. If I need you, I’ll call you,” you smiled.

You gave her one last hug before making your way out and heading home. The minute you got inside your apartment, you grabbed a bottle of wine, sat down on the sofa, and turned on ‘The Notebook’, letting yourself wallow in the last time you saw it.

“I’m not watching the fucking Notebook,” Ransom scoffed as he pulled you close to him in your bed.

Your parents had to decided to go on a little weekend summer trip, and there was no way you were spending time alone now that you and Ransom had finally told each other how you two truly felt about each other.

“It’s either this or Roman Holiday,” you laughed.

“Y/N!” Ransom groaned only causing you to laugh harder.

“Watch this with me and we can play with the new toy you got me,” you smirked.

“How long is this dumb movie?” he questioned, grabbing the remote as fell into a fit of laughter.

As the movie went on, you felt Ransom lightly tracing over thighs with his fingertips, and you giggled while swatting his hand away and telling him to be patient.

“That’s gonna be us one day,” you slightly moaned as Ransom planted soft but feverish kisses along the column of your neck, trying to keep your eyes focused on the screen in front of you.

“Hmmm?” Ransom questioned, stopping and following your gaze. “What? Old in a nursing home?”

“No,” you chuckled softly. “We’re gonna be Noah and Ally. Old, happy, in love, and devoted to each other even though one of us will have dementia. Dancing to our favorite song.”

“You want that with me?” he questioned, and the tone of surprise made your heart hurt just a little.

“If this works out like we’re both hoping...there’s no one else I see a future with. No one else I want a future with. I want everything with you,” you smiled sincerely at him.

Almost instantly, all traces of lust left Ransom’s eyes and were replaced by love, happiness, and hope. He cupped your face in his hands kissed you deeply and you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him as close to you as possible.

“Let me see where I hid that toy,” chuckled breathlessly as you two broke apart.

“We can do that later,” he smirked at you. “I like this for now...what’s the song they’re dancing to?”

“‘I’ll Be Seeing You’.”

“It’s fitting...I like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, whenever I have to say bye to you for a while, I’ll think of this moment and this song. It’s not forever, just for a little while, and that’s something I can deal with,” he whispered softly into your hair before pressing a kiss to it.

You shed a single tear at the memory as the credits started to roll on your screen. You’d decided that you’d done enough for the day and it was time to call it a day, telling yourself you’d just talk to Shawn on your own at some point. You really just needed a break from every thing and everyone.

That included Ransom.

You tried to force yourself to sleep, but nothing seemed to help. By the time 7am rolled around, you were more than ready to go to Shawn’s and figure out what the hell was going on between him and Sam.

Well, that you were determined to focus on anything and anyone other than Ransom.

“Ya know, most people make an appointment to see. They don’t just barge into my office,” Shawn smirked as he made his way in, a few folders in hand.

“Lucky for you, I’m not most people,” you smiled back as you swiveled around in his chair. “Nice view, bud.”

“Of course you’re sitting at my desk,” he scoffed, taking a seat on the opposite side. “What’s goin’ on, Sweetheart?”

“What’s going on with you and Sam?”

“That’s definitely not the question I thought you were gonna ask me,” he muttered before clearing his throat. “Nothing’s going on, Y/N.”

“Then why is she under the impression that you don’t love her anymore?”

“That I don’t...what? There’s nothing farther from the truth! She’s my entire universe! You know that, she should know that-”

“Then what’s going on?”

“I can’t tell you right now, well, I don’t want to tell you right now. I don’t wanna jinx anything, but I promise it’s not anything bad. I think it’ll make her really happy, it’s just taking a lot of time, effort, and energy. I guess I have been slacking, I’m just fucking burnt out. Everything is just a lot right now and this has to be perfect. I’ll tell you more in a few months, but for now, please just be patient with me. I’ll talk to Sam tonight. Last night makes much more sense now though,” he scoffed as he looked at your hair. “What tattoos did you get?”

“We got a Lilo and Stitch tattoo, she has Lilo and I have Stitch. Then she got a tattoo of stars and I got one of a crescent moon.”

“Of course you two did. Thank you for looking out for her, it means more than you know.”

“She’s my sister, Shawn. I will always lookout for and protect her.”

“I promise, you have nothing to worry about on my end.” he promised sincerely.

“I’m trusting you, Shawn. You hurt her and I’ll hurt you,” you warned.

“Oh, believe me, I’m well aware,” he scoffed as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Since you’re here, it’s my turn to question you. What happened between you and Ransom?”

“Nothing,” you scowled, turning your gaze towards his door.

“Y/N-”

“Honestly, nothing happened. We went to ‘Sunshine’ to celebrate me getting the job, he came back to my place, he left before anything had a chance to happen, Sam came over and cried to me about you, she slept over, I figured I’d try to talk to him, he wanted to talk about me and him, we got into another heartbreaking argument, and now I’m here. Nothing happened,” you finished with a sigh.

“You two...I swear to God,” he groaned as he buried his face in his hands.

“Why do you even know about it?”

“Who do you think he calls when things are going well between you two? Who do you think he calls when things are going bad between you two?”

“I somehow always manage to forget that you two are besties,” you muttered, rolling your eyes.

“You two need to come a decision because it’s really starting to take a toll on the both of you.”

“It’s not him, it’s honestly all me. I keep telling him to stop waiting for me but-”

“For him, there’s only you, Y/N,” Shawn started to explain. “Listen, I didn’t know him the same way you and Sam did, and to be quite honest, I don’t fucking want to. Yeah, he’s a dick now but he was clearly worse then. I know what he did in the past was fucked, truly, but the way he talks about you, looks at you...you’re his whole world. He can’t stop himself from waiting for you. When you reach a decision, a real decision, that’s when he’ll reach his.”

“Shawn, I just don’t know that I ever will. It’s not fair to him, but I’m being honest. I just don’t know,” you sighed as you fought back tears.

“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. At some point, you’ll decide on something. Ransom is a big boy, he’s making the decision to wait on his own, and you can’t add that pressure to yourself. If you want to focus on what makes you happy and what you want, what you really want, you can’t let the pressure of what he’s feeling and doing get to you. Keep focusing on you,” Shawn finished softly.

“Please don’t tell Sam we talked about this,” you smiled weakly as you  wiped away your tears. “She’s already worried about me. Don’t even let her know that Ransom called you, because she’ll automatically become more worried.”

“Y/N-”

“Shawn, she has enough on her mind already. She doesn’t need this bullshit to wear her down either. Just don’t say anything, please?”

“Fine,” he begrudgingly agreed. “I mean it though, Y/N. Focus on you.”

“I’m doing my best,” you groaned, offering a weak smile as you got up. “Tell me your plans for Sam as soon as they’re finalized.”

“I promise I will. You take care of yourself, Sweetheart,” Shawn called after you softly as you left his office.

From that day on, you did your best to keep yourself and your mind busy, but there really wasn’t anything to do until you started your job. So, you decided to just keep to yourself until you couldn’t.

You thought you’d feel better once you started working, but that proved to have its own amount of setbacks.

Your first day at the flower shop was a bit overwhelming, but nothing you couldn’t handle. Besides the general rules that come with having any job, they went over the temperatures for certain parts of the store, the different diets and caring styles for some of the flowers, how to deal with big orders, and the cleaning procedures for the store.

By the time you got home, your head felt as if it was going to burst. Not to mention, everyone kept texting and calling, asking you how you first day went. While you were happy to receive so much love and support, you were mentally exhausted. No, it wasn’t the most exhausting job you’d ever had, but it was still a lot to take in for your first day.

You were also bummed that you’d heard from everyone except Ransom.

By the time you ate dinner and hopped into bed, you were more than ready to space out for a few hours before finally going to sleep. You were just about to start re-watching ‘Alias’ from season 1, when you heard your phone buzz on your nightstand. You scowled in annoyance, but grabbed it anyway, ready to text whoever it was that you were tired and would talk to them tomorrow. However, a small smile came to your when you saw who it was and your heart felt as if it may burst out of your chest.

Only One: How was your first day, Princess?

Y/N: A little overwhelming, but it was good!

Only One: Yeah? You think you wanna stick with it?

Y/N: So far, so good. I just don’t wanna fuck up anything and kill all the flowers or anything.

Only One: Lol, I’m more than positive you won’t, Princess. You’re gonna be amazing at this, just like you are at everything else.

Y/N: Thank you, Ransom.

Only One: Are you settled in for the night?

Y/N: Yeah. I know I’m not working long hours or anything, but still. Just wanna relax for the rest of the night.

Only One: That makes sense.

You were about to put your phone down when it started buzzing non-stop. You looked down and started to laugh hard.

“Why did you ask me if I’m settled in if you were just gonna FaceTime me?” you laughed, getting settled under the covers.

“I didn’t know if you were out with Sam or not, and I didn’t want to be a bother,” he chuckled himself, sitting up against his headboard, shirtless, with a drink in his hand. “Sorry I didn’t text you until late, I wasn’t sure what time you got done. I know the place isn’t open late, but still.”

“I was out by 6, done with grocery and liquor shopping by 7, and in bed by 9:30,” you mumbled, taking a sip of wine.

“Ahh, so what are we watching to unwind?”

“Season 1 of Alias.”

“Are you ever capable of watching something you haven’t seen a million times before?”

“Leave me alone!” you laughed, getting comfortable before pressing play. “It’s my comfort activity.”

“Yeah yeah, I know,” he smirked with a heavy sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing at all,” he chuckled as he poured himself another drink. “Face me towards the screen so we can watch it together.”

“Ransom, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’ve had a few drinks and you’re ready for bed in my AC/DC shirt. I know that you’re wearing absolutely nothing underneath and you bring up comfort activities,” he smirked as he shook his head. “The only thing that’s wrong is that I should’ve started drinking later,” he scoffed.

“We don’t have-”

“I want to, Princess, I really do. I miss spending time with you like this...I just don’t know how long it’ll be until we can do it again in person,” he chuckled as you let out a soft giggle.

“Thank you, Ransom.”

“Anything for you, Princess. Now turn the camera the other way, or I’ll turn my camera the other way,” he warned with a devilish grin.

You bit your bottom lip to suppress a giggle before flipping your camera to face the TV. You both sat through two episodes of Alias before you told him you needed him to go to bed. You both dragged out the conversation for as long as possible, before you told him you really needed to go to bed.

“Can we do this again?” he asked in a almost a whisper.

“Saturdays? The shop is closed on Sunday, so I can actually hangout and I won’t yawn every five seconds,” you laughed.

“Saturday sounds good to me. Sleep tight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Ransom,” you smiled before hanging up.

So, from that night on, you and Ransom talked almost daily and watched shows and movies via FaceTime on Saturdays. As far as you were concerned, you were making progress because you hadn’t given in to your desires. You hadn’t slept with him, you hadn’t gone to see him, and you’d made sure to set boundaries. You let him know that certain topics weren’t to be discussed, and when he got flirty after a few drinks, you told him to get it together or you’d hangup (even though it secretly got you excited).

No, it wasn’t ideal by any means.

During every call, you wanted to tell him to come over, you wanted him to hold you, you wanted him to make love to you, tell you that everything was going to be okay. You wanted him with you.

But you had to try.

So, when guys made advances towards you, you tried your best to not turn them away automatically. When you went on dates, you did your best to be engaged and be present, but it never seemed to do any good. Your thoughts always found their way back to Ransom. It’s not like you were going on dates with terrible, but they just weren’t who you wanted.

By the time Valentine’s Day came around, you were spent and just wanted to be alone.

Only One: What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Y/N: Lol working. It’s one of our busiest days.

Only One: After that?

Y/N: Going home and eating lol. Probably gonna watch Corpse Bride or Roman Holiday. Both are fitting for me.

Only One: Always the romantic one. Come out to dinner with me.

Y/N: Ransom.

Only One: What? We’re both single and we’re friends, right? There’s no reason why two single friends can’t have dinner together. Besides, we’ll be around other people. I don’t see why there should be an issue.

Y/N: Us spending Valentine’s Day together doesn’t seem to be the best idea, if I’m honest.

Only One: We’ll be at Sunshine. We’ll be fine.

You thought it fitting that the next song to play on your playlist was ‘Oh My God’ by Adele as you made your decision.

Y/N: What time?

Only One: 8:30? You’ll have enough time to relax and change. It’s really just dinner, Princess.

You forced yourself to ignore all of the voices telling you that it was a bad idea and to run in the opposite direction, because none of it mattered. You told yourself that the both of you were strong enough to handle being together in public. You two had dinner a million times together, why should this make any difference?

The entire time you were at work, you couldn’t stop smiling. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and you just couldn’t wait to see Ransom.

“You’re in a really good mood today,” one of your customers smiled as you finished putting together his bouquet.

“Yeah, I’m seeing a really good friend after work and it’s been a really long time,” you beamed as you wrung him up.

“Well, I hope you both have a great time. I come in here often and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much,” he laughed taking out his debit card.

“Really? Don’t tell my boss that,” you chuckled. “You do come here a lot, whoever is getting all of these flowers is extremely lucky,” you praised handing him back his card before handing him the gorgeous bouquet.

“Well, this particular one is for my mother and the one last week was for my grandmother.”

“Did she like them?”

“Well, she’s dead. So she doesn’t really have a choice except to like them,” he smirked and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized as you quickly covered your mouth, trying to control your laughter.

“It’s completely fine,” he chuckled. “She passed away some time ago. I try to bring her flowers on her birthday and holidays.”

“Well, you’re a very good grandson.”

“I try,” he smiled at you. “My name is Logan by the way,” he offered, extending his free hand.

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Logan. My name is Y/N,” you replied shaking his hand.

“Y/N...it suites you very well. You and your friend have fun tonight. I’ll see you next time.”

“Enjoy your night as well, I hope your mother likes her flowers,” you responded softly as he made his way to the door.

“You did a wonderful job. I’m sure she’ll love them,” he grinned before walking out.

The rest of your day went by in almost a flash and for as happy as you were about that, it also caused you some stress.

No, it wasn’t a date, but you were going to be alone with Ransom and its not like being alone ever went well for you two, but still. You wanted to see him. You needed to see him. You’d missed him so much, and besides, it’s not like you expected anything to happen. He’d been showing restraint keeping a distance since everything had happened before, so why should that night be any different?

Since it wasn’t a date, you decided to dress in a simple black dress with your wrap around\ black strap heels to match. The decision to give yourself loose curls came easy because you truly didn’t want to put too much effort into anything. You looked yourself over in your full-length vanity mirror and took a deep breath as you smoothed your hands over your dress, before putting on your black peat coat.

Everything was going to be fine.

However, when you got outside (car keys in hand), and saw his personal driver waiting for you, you knew that the night would go much differently than you planned.

“Funny how they’re no other cars in the lot,” you scoffed as the driver pulled up to the restaurant.

“Yeah, real funny,” the driver laughed as he slowly came to a stop. “You two enjoy.”

“Thanks,” you laughed dryly.

Before you could even get your hand on the doorknob, Ransom pulled it open, a slick grin on his face.

“Drysdale-”

“I can’t help it if no one wants to eat here, Princess.”

“And your other two restaurants?”

“Surprisingly, they’re fully booked.”

“Such a smart ass,” you snorted as you made your way inside.

“You look amazing,” he praised softly, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as he took off your coat.

“You look good yourself,” you smirked, looking him over.

He had his dark brown framed glasses on, an un-tucked jean blue button down shirt, a pair of black jeans, and black shoes to match. His beard was neatly trimmed, and his hair was long and a little unkempt.

You were already ready to jump his bones and you hadn’t even been around him for 5 minutes.

“I guess you’re keeping the long hair?” you questioned, trying to rid your mind of all its indecent thoughts.

“Well, you like it and it seems to keep women attracted, so I guess I’ll keep it for a while.”

“Trust me, you don’t need the hair to keep women around,” you scoffed before you could stop yourself.

Ransom didn’t say a word, he just flashed you a mischievous grin at you before leading you into the dining room. Oh, you were definitely in for a long and wild night.

“Ransom...this is gorgeous,” you gasped as you looked around the dimly lit area.

There was a vase of peonies centered at a table in the center of the room, a few lit candles, and pink rose petals on the floor around the table as well as on the table.

“Yeah? I did good?” he asked as he pulled out your chair for you.

“You did amazing,” you beamed as you took a seat.

“Good, I want this night to be perfect for you,” he grinned as he poured you both a glass of wine, before taking a seat.

From that moment on, the conversation flowed effortlessly. He asked about your job, the apartment, and you told him that you were contemplating getting a puppy.

“Don’t get a fucking dog,” Ransom scoffed as he took a sip of his drink, which he had changed to scotch at some point.

“Why not?”

“Because they’re too fucking much, they shed, they bark, they always want your fucking attention-”

“Someone is crabby,” you laughed as you poured yourself another glass of wine as your empty plates were taken away.

“I’m not crabby, I just don’t like dogs,” he muttered.

“Well, I don’t and I want one. Maybe a Husky or a German Shepherd...ooo! Maybe a Whippet! I-”

“I’m basically gonna have to put up with a child,” Ransom muttered as he finished off his drink before pouring himself another.

“Oh? You’d put up with a dog?”

“I’d put up with anything for you,” he smirked.

You cleared your throat and looked down at your glass. What was he doing to you? “Why did you do all of this, Ransom? What was the point?”

“I wanted to be alone with you.”

“You’re alone with me almost every night-”

“I wanted to be alone with you, in person,” he corrected softly.

“Ransom, I still don’t know-”

“I know that, Princess. I know and I know that I have no right to push or ask, but...fuck, I miss you. I miss you. Seeing you in person, touching you, hearing your voice...we’ve had one Valentine’s Day together and it wasn’t even all that great, because you were still rightfully angry with me. I just wanted to...I love you, Princess. I love you and wanted to do something nice for you.”

“And what happens tomorrow? When everything-”

“Who cares? I don’t want to think about that right now. We’re having fun and it’s been a good night-”

“And what about when it’s time to leave?”

“It’s up to you,” he smirked coyly. “Whatever happens tonight is up to you. It’s always up to you,” he stated firmly as the waiter made his way over to the table. “Leave the bottles and everyone else can go home,” Ransom stated sharply, never breaking eye contact with you. “And make sure you all actually clean. If I have to hear anymore shit from the opening crew about how shit the closing crew did, I’m making some fucking changes,” he warned as the waiter practically ran off.

“Always the charmer,” you scoffed as you took a sip of wine.

“You try running a restaurant and tell me how easy it is,” he humorlessly chuckled as he looked you over. “You look amazing in that dress, Princess,” he praised softly.

“We should go,” you sighed, trying to ignore all of the feelings you were feeling.

Between the wine, shots, and love you’d always had for Ransom; you were sure you’d never lose an ounce of the desire you always felt towards him.

The love you always felt for him.

“What do you wanna-”

“Mr. Drysdale, every thing is set up perfectly for tomorrow,” one of the waiters called from the entry way. “We’ll see you in a few days.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ransom called back, a devilish smirk playing on his lips, as you both heard the front door close.

And lock.

“Ransom, we should-”

“I’ll ask again. What do you want to do?”

“You know what I wanna do,” you sighed, standing up and grabbing your clutch. “So it’s best-”

“What’s so wrong with giving in?”

“Ransom...don’t. Just don’t. We both know what happens if we go down that road.”

“Princess, the only one really risking anything is me, and I’m fine with that. Even if we don’t do anything else tonight, this was more than enough. Seeing you, talking to you, hearing you laugh, seeing you smile...I’m happy just to be in front of you,” he smiled softly.

You let out a deep sigh as you wiped away a lone tear. “I’m trying, Ransom. I’m really trying. I go on dates but none of it feels right, and I tell myself that it feels wrong because it is. I should be with you. I’m supposed to be with you. I tell myself that I’m strong enough, but then I go to call or text you and I remember. I remember and it hurts all over again. I wish I could just...”

“I know, baby. You have no idea how much I regret it, because it took me losing you to realize that I truly had everything. I wish I hadn’t been so selfish, stupid, and needy. You deserved so much better and I promised you, twice, that I could be that guy. I wanted to be that guy for you, Y/N,” he sighed. “I still want to be that guy, but I get it. If this is all I can have, then I’ll take it. It’s more than I fucking deserve,” he chuckled humorlessly.

“Ransom...” you trailed off as your tears started to fall.

“Please don’t cry, Princess. I don’t want you to-”

“I know you don’t, but I still do. I feel so fucking bad because I want it so much. I love you so much and I want nothing more than to just pretend it never happened. I want to forget all about it, but if I take you back, who’s to say you won’t do it again? You? You said it last time and then I caught you. I just...I really want to try again, I just can’t right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to,” you cried, looking away from him as you wiped your tears away.

“And I have no one to blame but myself for that,” he sighed mournfully as he cleared his throat.

“I’ll be right back,” you sobbed before practically running off towards the bathroom.

The minute you got inside, you leaned against the door and took a deep breath. Why did you agree to see him even though you knew the night would take a turn? Why can’t you just make a fucking choice? All of these thoughts and more ran through your head as you walked over to the sink and looked yourself over in the mirror. Everything had been perfect. It was almost a dream and you decided that you wanted that. You wanted to pretend that that talk hadn’t just taken place. No, you couldn’t get over the fact that Ransom had broken your heart, but you also couldn’t get over Ransom.

No matter how hard you tried.

No, you couldn’t have the fairy tale, but you could have Ransom. And something was better than nothing.

“C’mon Princess, I should get you home,” Ransom sighed as you made your way back to the table. “The car will be here-”

He was cut off by you crashing your lips into his. You didn’t want to think anymore. In that moment, the only thing that mattered was feeling complete.

The only person who mattered was Ransom.

“Stop,” Ransom demanded breathlessly, forcibly grabbing your wrists as he pulled himself away. “I can’t....Princess, be sure that you want this because if we start, I won’t be able to stop,” he finished, his gaze deep and intense on you.

“I just want to feel you, Ransom. I always need you.”

“Princess-”

“Ransom, I want this. I want you, right here, and right now. If you don’t want to-”

This time it was Ransom’s turn to cut you off. He kissed you hard and deep as he got up and pinned you against the table.

“Don’t want you?” he rasped breathlessly as he hiked up your dress before hooking his fingers onto your panties and pulling them down. “Princess, you’re all I ever want. All I ever think about,” he moaned as he easily slid two fingers inside you.

“Fuck!” you moaned, relishing in the feeling that only he could give you.

“God, I can’t wait to watch the security cameras later,” he husked with a deep chuckle before kissing and sucking on your neck, as he fucked into you faster with his fingers.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you whimpered as your excitement built. “Only you...only you make me feel this good.”

“Yeah baby? Then show me by cumming on my fingers right now,” Ransom demanded biting the shell of your ear.

“Shit!” you cried, having no choice but to do as you were told as you gripped his shoulders tight.

“Fuck, you’re such a good fucking girl for me,” he praised, forcing you to lick and suck your essence off of his fingers. “I wanna fuck you senseless tonight, will you let me do that?”

All you could do was nod.

“Good girl, come with me,” he commanded before removing his fingers from your mouth and  pulling you with him as he made his way towards his office.

The moment he slammed the door shut, he was all over you. His lips burned a trail from your lips to your chest he pulled down the short sleeves of your dress.

“Baby please,” you begged softly once you felt his tongue on one of your nipples, teasingly caressing it. “You don’t know how much I need you!”

“Trust me, I promise I do because I need you just as much!” he groaned before kissing his way back up to your lips. “You’re all I need. You’re all I’ll ever need,” he panted, his gaze locking on yours.

“I love you, Ransom,” you breathed as you undid his pants, pulling them down with his boxers. “I love you so much and I wanna feel you. I wanna feel how much you love me,” you cooed as you started to stroke him.

“Jesus,” he groaned before hoisting you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. “I’ll do anything you want, Princess,” he promised as he thrust himself into you.

“Shit!” you cried out, gripping his hair as you arched your back. “It’s been so fucking long, baby! You feel so good!”

“I’ve dreamt of having you like this for so long,” he grunted as he continued to fuck into you. “Your pussy is the best I’ve ever been in,” he praised with a low growl as he continued to fuck into you relentlessly. “Do you know how fucking perfect you are? How perfect you are for me? Fuck, I love everything about you, Princess!”

“You’re home to me, baby!” you cried out as leaned your head back against the wall. “I only ever want you! All of you!”

“I’ll never get tired of you, Sweetheart,” he husked before tightening his hold on and carrying over to his desk. “You’re the only person I want, Y/N. The only person I’ll ever love,” he confessed softly.

“You’re everything to me,” you confessed breathlessly, your toes starting to curl as you felt yourself reaching your peak as he continued to hit that spot deep within you. “I hate being without you,” you moaned, fighting off your release. You weren’t ready for any of it to end yet.

“I need to hear you say it, Princess! I always need to hear you say it!”

“I fucking love you, Ransom!” you mewled as you came hard, unable to fight any longer. “I love you so much!”

“Fuck!” he grunted, spilling into you as he tried to ride out both your highs.

You both just stayed that way for a moment, the only sound being your labored breaths. You didn’t want to leave him. You wanted to stay with him forever, but you knew better. Staying with him would only make everything that much harder.

“I should get home,” you sighed after a beat, slowly unwrapping yourself from him.

“Stay with me tonight,” Ransom begged softly, meeting your gaze.

“I think we’ve done more than enough,” you smirked, shaking your head no.

“You said you’d let me fuck you senseless tonight, didn’t you?”

“Ransom, we both know-”

“You want Daddy to beg, is that it?” he questioned, cocking an eyebrow as he got down on his knees. “I can beg all night, baby,” he rasped licking your clit softly.

“Holy shit!” you gasped softly, gripping something tight in your right hand.

“Say you’ll stay with me tonight or I’ll just fuck you into oblivion in this office,” he warned before giving your pussy another kitten lick.

“Ransom,” you moaned, gripping whatever you were holding onto tighter. You looked to your right to see that you were gripping a picture frame that held a picture of the two of you from the first time you both went to the Hamptons together. “Fuck!”

“Come home with me,” he growled again, sliding two fingers into your soaked channel. “I told you, once we start, I won’t be able to stop. You’re off tomorrow, which means I can fuck you right into sunrise, which is what I know you really want. So, come home with me,” he demanded before diving between your legs and sucking licking on your clit.

“Fuck! Ransom!” you cried, gripping his hair, while your other hand gripped the frame tighter.

The only acknowledgment Ransom gave you was fucking you faster with his fingers, while his other hand gripped your thigh tighter.

“Jesus fuck!” you screamed as you came apart for him, your legs instinctively wrapping around him as you arched your back and lulled your head back.

Ransom took his time cleaning up the mess between your legs, filthy grunts of approval leaving his mouth like a song, before he kissed his way back up your body.

“Come home with me,” he demanded hotly.

Once again, all you could do was nod as you tried to get yourself together.

The minute you two got into the backseat of his driver’s car, Ransom was all over you. You couldn’t help but feel bad at the lewd sounds you two were making, like a couple of crazy high school kids, but you couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to. You wanted to make good use of each minute you had with Ransom.

You were so wrapped up in your filthy make-out session with him, that you didn’t hear or notice that he’d undone his pants.

“Myles, how much longer till we’re at my place?” Ransom asked breathlessly as he broke away from a very desperate and needy you.

“10 minutes,” the man responded with a small chuckle.

In one swift move, you were upright and on Ransom’s lap as he thrust himself deep inside you. “Fuck Ransom!” you hissed as quietly as you could, both mortified and completely aroused by his actions.

“I want you to get both you and me off before we reach my place,” he whispered hotly into your neck, before biting sucking on it.

“Ransom,” you moaned softly, your nails digging into his shoulders as you started to pick up your pace; grinding your hips against his.

“You looked so beautiful spread out on my desk for me like that, I could’ve kept you there like that all night,” he groaned, gripping your ass tight, giving you the pleasurable sting you always loved.

“Missed having you deep inside me like this,” you moaned with a faint whisper. “I missed you loving me so rough and so tender at the same time,” you damn near cried.

“Fuck, I’m right where you want me, Princess. Ready to give you everything!” he grunted softly.

“Oh..oh God! Ransom!” you cried into his neck as you came hard.

“Fuck yes, Princess!” Ransom mewled quietly against your chest, spilling himself into you.

You both stayed lost in each other’s embrace until the car came to a complete stop.

“Home sweet home,” Myles smirked he looked up into the rear view mirror.

“Thank you,” Ransom breathed softly, slowly removing himself from you. “Take the next 2 weeks off,” he added nonchalantly.

“Thank you, Mr. Drysdale.”

“Lets get you inside and in my bed,” Ransom smirked against your skin, adjusting the sleeves on your dress.

You quickly but timidly got yourself off of Ransom and together the best you could, before scrambling out of the car. You watched Ransom pass the poor man what you could only assume to be a tip, before he made his way out of the car and and gripped your wrist tightly, pulling you along behind him.

The second the door closed, Ransom was ripping your clothes off as you quickly lifted your legs a little to untie your shoes.

“I’ve waited too fucking long to have you like this,” he growled, nipping your ear before throwing you over his shoulder as you giggled in response.

When he got you on his bed, you instantly started getting to work on undoing his pants, before an idea popped into your head.

“I wanna watch you take off your clothes,” you breathed out, pushing yourself back against his pillows as one of your hands slid between your legs.

“Fuck,” Ransom husked, watching you get yourself off as he speedily tried to get out of his clothes.

“No no, baby. Take your time,” you moaned, kneading your clit between your forefinger and thumb.

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re in control like this,” he smirked, slowly unbuttoning his cuffs before his shirt. “You’re always so fucking perfect.”

“So are you, baby,” you moaned as you felt yourself getting more and more excited. “Perfect for me,” you sighed as he unbuckled his slacks and pushed both them and his boxers down, taking himself in his hand and stroking him. “I want you to love until you’re satisfied tonight, Ransom. Don’t stop until there’s nothing left.”

“I can do that,” Ransom husked before getting on the bed and crawling over top of you.

He kissed you deeply and you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close to you, as he took one of your legs into his hands and hiked it over his waist. You let out a silent gasp as he pushed himself into you, relishing the way he pulled you apart so easily. No words were spoken as he broke the kiss and pushed him self up to look at you. The only sounds were his skin and yours connecting and the both of you breathing heavy.

No words needed to be said. Ransom’s eyes told you everything you needed to hear, and you hoped that your eyes did the same.

Yes, there was was lust in his eyes, but there was also a softness. So much longing, hope, and regret. There was desire, passion, and greed. Greed to just keep you to himself and never lose you again. There was also love. So much love that you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

You let out a choked sob as you felt the knot in core begin to tighten as he hit that spot deep within you that always had blossoming like a flower for him.

You closed your eyes and lulled your head back and that had Ransom breaking his silence.

“Eyes on me, Princess. Please, I need to see you come apart for me,” he husked with a desperate plea as he picked up his pace.

“Shit!” you cried softly, arching your back to get yourself as close to him as possible as you came apart for him. “Fuck, I didn’t want to...”

“We’ve got all night, Princess,” Ransom smirked before dipping down kissing you hard.

That night, Ransom loved you repeatedly and in every position you loved. He only took it easy on when you both were nearing your end; loving how you were desperate and needy for him, but understanding that you’d truly given him all that you had to give. When all was said and done, Ransom held you close and kissed you all over as if he were afraid to lose you again.

“Your driver is gonna think I’m such a whore,” you groaned with a small chuckle.

“No he won’t,” Ransom smirked before kissing your bare shoulder.

“There’s no way he didn’t know what we were doing in the backseat.”

“Myles used to drive for Harlan. Once Harlan truly believed that I would kill myself by drinking and driving, and God knows what else, he assigned Myles to me. In that time, he has seen a lot of women do things to me, but never me do anything to them. You’re different. So very different. Why do you think I had him take you and Ryan home that night? You’re the love of my life, Y/N. I want everyone to see that. I want everyone to know that. For as complicated and fucked up as things are between us, that will never change,” he promised in a hushed tone.

“I don’t wanna go to sleep. Going to sleep means waking up and having to face tomorrow, which means I have to leave you,” you mumbled as your eyes started to water.

“It doesn’t have to,” Ransom sighed.

“I can’t stay here and pretend, baby.”

“Do you think you’ll ever know for sure?”

“I honestly don’t. All I know is that I love you, and I really wish love would find a way. However, until it does...”

“I understand, Princess. Let’s just get some sleep, okay?” Ransom sniffled out as he cleared his throat.

“Sleep would be nice,” you humorlessly chucked as you wiped your own eyes.

Sleep came for both of you effortlessly, but that didn’t stop Ransom from waking you with his hand between your legs while he whispered sweet nothing in your ear.

“I’m so sorry, I just can’t get enough of you,” he groaned before sliding himself into you, which you happily accepted.

“I’m yours to use however you want,” you whimpered, running your hands through hair as he worked on licking and sucking on one of your nipples.

Ransom didn’t let up until he had you two more times, once again pulling you close before you both succumbed to sleep.

When you woke up the next day, Ransom was looking over you with the most loving gaze.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been watching me sleep,” you chuckled with a yawn.

“Only for about 5 minutes,” he smirked “I was gonna get up and make breakfast, but you looked so peaceful and I just wanted...in case this is the last time...” he smiled mournfully.

“Why do you keep holding onto me, Ransom?”

“You are...” he started before clearing his throat. “You are the only thing I’ve ever gotten right. When I see you I see honesty, I feel love, and I know peace. I hold on because I have to keep hoping that there’s a possible chance for us. I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know our chances are slim to none, and I know why it’s that way, but with the way you look at me and the way we make each other feel...how can you expect me to just quit?”

“Ransom-”

“I’m ready now. Honestly, I’m truly ready now. I know I said it before and it all went to shit, but back then....I was scared and stupid. No matter how much I tried to talk myself into being ready, I was just terrified. Love didn’t exist in my world. The only time I ever saw it was between Harlan and my grandmother, and even that was tainted because of the relationship I had with him. I never wanted to love you, Y/N. Hell, I still don’t want to just because I know it would be better for you if I didn’t, but no matter how much I tried to stop and pull myself away I couldn’t because I couldn’t get you out of my head. I couldn’t get you out of my heart, and at some point, I didn’t want to.”

“Then why? After all this time, I still don’t understand why?” you cried softly.

“I was terrified that you’d hurt me. Anyone I’ve ever bothered to give a fuck about has hurt me, so of course I tried to push away the one person who genuinely cared for me, because how could you? How could you see me for who I truly was, and still want me? How could you see and know all of my faults, and still think I was worth your time and your love? So, when you didn’t answer me instantly and when I didn’t have your full attention, the part of me that was terrified of you leaving and hurting me became the loudest and I hurt you before you could hurt me. I made sure to let you know that I was still in control, even though you were the one running the show the whole time. When you left, really left, that’s when it finally stuck. You’re the only one for me. The only one who will ever truly matter, but it was too late because I had fucked up beyond belief. So, when you came back with Ryan, and you looked at me with both anger and love, how was I supposed to give up on us? How was I supposed to pretend that I’d ever gotten over you? Y/N, I hold on because the small part of me that still believes that we can still make this work, is the only part of me that still cares about anything. The only part of me that believes that things can work out for the better and that people have genuine feelings is hanging on by a thread.

No, that’s not fair to you, but it’s the honest truth. Anything good and genuine I’ve ever felt, only happened when you came into my life. That doesn’t mean that we’re meant to be together, but I really fucking hope it does, because there will never be anyone else on this planet that I love as much or as deeply as I love you,” he finished with a sob as he wiped away your tears.

“Ransom, why couldn’t you just wait until you were sure?” you sobbed into his chest.

“Because I’m a selfish fuck. I didn’t want you to fall for anyone else, I didn’t want to risk you realizing that you didn’t want me, and I didn’t want you deciding that I wasn’t enough. At the end of the day, I just fucked up,” he sighed as he pressed another soft kiss into your hair. “I know I need to stay away and that I have no right to ask anything of you, and I’ve been trying my best, Princess. I just missed you so fucking much,” he sighed.

“You don’t make getting over you easy do you?”

“Not in the slightest,” he smirked and you couldn’t but let out a small laugh as you wiped your eyes.

“I should get home.”

“5 more minutes?”

“5 more minutes,” you agreed softly, your face still nestled against his chest.

So, for the next 5 minutes, you two did what you were best at and pretended. You both pretended that things had been settled and done away with, pretended that when you left later you’d come back at the end of the day, pretended that things could be just as they were before, and pretended that neither one of your hearts were breaking at the thought of you leaving again.

When the 5 minutes were up, you pulled one of the blankets around you and slowly made your way downstairs, Ransom following right behind after he put his boxers on. He helped you dress yourself, while refusing to give you back your panties, and you wrapped the thick laces of your heels back up.

“I can get my own ride home,” you sighed with a soft smile as you looked out the window to his doorway, waiting for his other driver to pick you up.

It felt like the first time leaving him after you professed your love to him all over again. The thought of how much things had changed and how different the circumstances were, pained you.

“I know you can but I want to do this,” he responded softly as he put your coat on you. “Thank you,” he all but whispered as he pressed a soft kiss into your hair.

The strain in his voice let you know that letting you go was just as hard for him as leaving you was for him.

“Thank you,” you responded with a sigh as you leaned into him and let him hold you.

God, you just wanted to stay in his embrace forever.

“Let me know when you’re home safe,” Ransom sighed as the car pulled up, instinctively pulling you closer.

“I will,” you promised, wanting nothing more than for him to keep you there. For him to force you to stay like he did when you two had sex for the first time.

“I love you, Princess.”

“I love you too, Ransom,” you sobbed softly, trying to break free of him, but his hold was strong. “Ransom-”

“I know, I know,” he responded weakly, kissing your cheek softly before letting go of you.

You turned to face him, giving him a quick and sad soft smile, before turning and leaving.

That night, after you cried alone in your apartment for what felt like the millionth time, you made yourself a promise. You told yourself that if, by the end of the week, you hadn’t found anyone who could truly keep your attention and interest, you’d try again with Ransom. It made sense, because if you still weren’t able to quit him after all these years, maybe there was something still worth fighting for.

Maybe he was still worth fighting for.

So, as the week went by and no one really seemed to be worthy of your time, your heart grew hopeful that maybe you’d get the happily ever after that you’d wanted since you told Ransom how you truly felt about him all those years ago.

Too bad that your wants don’t ever align with what the universe has in store.

“Ah, Logan, it’s nice to see you again,” you smiled at the kind man who was constantly purchasing flowers for members of his family. “How did your mother like her flowers?”

“She thought they were gorgeous. Picked on my dad about how he was outshined for the second year in a row,” he laughed as he shifted nervously from foot to foot.

“Well, who are you getting flowers for today?”

“That’s the thing. I’ve run out of people to buy flowers for, so I really have no choice but man up and ask you.”

“Ask me...?”

“Are you...do you...”

“...Logan?”

“You’re so beautiful and I’ve been trying to find the courage to ask you out, but instead, I’ve just been asking you to make bouquets as a way to talk to you, but now it seems like...I really have to find the courage to do this. Fuck, what are you doing tonight?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Going to bed early so I can be here on time tomorrow,” you smiled softly with the faintest bit of sympathy in your eyes.

‘You have to at least try,’ you mentally chided yourself.

“But,” you followed with a deep breath “I’m usually up to hang out on Saturday nights since we’re closed on Sundays.”

“Yeah? Think you’d be up for dinner?”

“Dinner sounds nice.”

“I know a great spot. Sunshine, it’s on-”

“Not Sunshine,” you quickly interjected a little too harshly. “I just uh..I’ve had a few bad dates there,” you chuckled sheepishly.

“Well, what kind of food do you like?”

“Just surprise me,” you laughed softly. “When it comes to food, I’m not entirely too picky.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Pick you up tomorrow after your shift?”

“Sounds good.”

“See you then,” he smiled bashfully before making his way out.

“Jesus, took him much longer than I thought it would. He’s been obsessed with you since he laid eyes on you,” your boss giggled as you both watched him walk away.

You just rolled your eyes and shook your head before getting back to the order you were working on.

When you got home that night, you didn’t even think about the date because you were sure nothing would come from it. No other cute guy had been able to keep your attention, so why should Logan be any different? In fact, you were so in different to it, that you didn’t even bother to tell Ransom that night when you two FaceTimed. He was already in a bad mood because of something having to do with a table he needed being on back order, but you also didn’t see the need in upsetting him when you were so close to telling him that you were ready to try again.

The only problem? Logan wasn’t like every other guy you’d been on dates with.

He picked you up from work the next day and you spent the entire drive from your job to the diner he took you to, laughing. The conversation was almost effortless, and you neither of you realized how late it was until you received a text from Ransom asking what movie you two would be watching that night via FaceTime. When Logan asked you on a second date, you said yes before you could even fully process the question.

Still, you said nothing about it to Ransom, because what were the chances that you would have two great dates back to back?

However, that’s exactly what happened.

Two dates turned into four and four dates turned into eight.

“Can I come up tonight?” Logan asked breathlessly as you two broke apart.

“I don’t...it’s been a while since I’ve...”

“There’s no pressure, Y/N,” he chuckled softly. “I’m only asking because this is our third time ending up like this in the front seat of my car, and I feel like we both want-”

“Yes. Yes, come up,” you interrupted, as every thought in your head was telling you it was time to not only call it a night, but to also call it quits.

“Y/N, are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” you tried to assure both yourself and him, as you gave him the most confident smile you could muster.

That night, you and Logan had sex until he was spent. That’s really the only way you could describe it. It wasn’t love making, because you didn’t love him, but it also wasn’t just fucking. It was just sex. Sure, Logan had done his best to make you feel something, and you felt cared for, but you didn’t feel loved. You didn’t feel like you were home.

However, for all the things you didn’t feel, it wasn’t enough for you to stop seeing him.

Before you knew it, you found yourself coming to terms with a reality you didn’t want. Your feelings for Logan weren’t anywhere near what you felt for Ransom, but they were strong enough that you wanted to explore them.

Only One: Hey, I know you’re extremely busy with work lately, but I think we’re overdue for a movie night.

Y/N: I can’t.

Only One: Well, when do you think you can?

Y/N: Ransom...I can’t.

Only One: Oh. Okay then. I get it

Only One: Is it serious?

Only One: I guess it is if you’re not seeing me anymore.

Only One: It’s fine. I’m happy for you. This was always the plan, right?

Only One: I guess...I’ll talk to you at some point. I’ll see you around. I love you.

Y/N: Ransom, please don’t be angry with me.

Only One: Princess, I’m never angry with you, but this is a conversation I can’t have right now. At least not sensibly. I love you but I can’t talk about this right now. I can’t talk to you right now.

Y/N: I love you.

Only One: Don’t, because I can’t hear it right now. I just fucking can’t.

You cried for hours that night. Every time you thought you got it out of your system, your tears just kept coming back. By the time 10pm came around, you text your boss and told her you’d need to call out because you weren’t feeling all that great, and you were calling Sam by 10:01.

“Hey, I was honestly just about to call you! What do you-”

“Please come over,” you sobbed hysterically.

“I’ll be there in 20,” she stated simply before hanging up.

Sam was at your place in 12 minutes.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked as soon as you opened the door before engulfing you in a hug.

“I told him about Logan and I hurt him so bad. Sam, I fucking...I hurt him so fucking...” you sobbed into her shoulder.

“Baby it’s okay,” she cooed, gently stroking your back.

“How can it be okay if he isn’t okay? How can I be happy if he isn’t? What the fuck did I just do?”

“It’s going to be okay,” Sam tried to reassure you, holding back her own tears.

She stayed up with you the whole night, trying to convince you that you made the right choice, but your head and your heart just couldn’t fall in line with each other. Against your better judgment (and Sam’s advice,) you text Ransom. When he didn’t respond in 20 minutes, you text him again. You text him 6 times before Sam finally took your phone from you. You knew that she was right in doing so, but that didn’t stop you from being upset with yourself and the situation at hand.

“You need to move on from him, Y/N. You need to move on and Logan is good for you,” Sam stated softly as she held you close that night.

“You just don’t like Ransom,” you scowled like a child as you wiped away more tears.

“Stop it. I love you and I just want the best for you. I know you love Ransom and I know he loves you, but there’s just too much there. If you date Logan and it all goes to shit, that’s one thing. Maybe, at that point, I’ll finally encourage you to be with Ransom. However, you really need to try with Logan.”

“Sam, if I love Ransom this much, shouldn’t I just be with him?”

“No, because you haven’t tried to actually move on from him since Ryan, and while I love him for stopping you from making a horrible mistake, it’s not enough. Ransom still isn’t enough.”

“I just don’t know anymore,” you sobbed. “I just want Ransom,” you sobbed.

“I know you do, Sweetheart. I know you do,” Sam sighed, clearing her own throat as she tried to be strong enough for the both of you.

In the weeks that followed, you found yourself searching for any possible approval from Ransom, while also trying your best not to distance yourself from Logan. You also found yourself comparing him to Ransom, no matter how many times you tried to stop yourself.

It’s not like Logan had done anything wrong. He wasn’t another Ryan, but he also wasn’t enough. When it came to gifts and surprises, he was always asking Sam and your mother what you’d like. He never trusted his own instincts and that drove you insane. Ransom always got you things that he thought you’d like, and if he felt you didn’t, he’d just try again. Logan was the type of man who needed to get everything right the first time. He was also a man of order, which you also weren’t a fan of. You understood that with his mother being a teacher and his father being a military man, he didn’t have much of a choice.

But still.

“Logan! How many times have I told you to stay out of my art room?!” you roared at him as searched for your ‘Rose Red’ acrylic paint.

“I know and I’m sorry, but it’s just so-”

“I know it’s messy! I like it that way!”

“You can’t find anything in there!”

“No, you can’t find anything in here! I could everything just fine until you decided to clean it!”

“Baby, you’ll thank you me in the long run-”

“You say that every time and every time I’m angry about it! Just stay out of this room!”

“What do you plan on doing when we start living together?”

“Hide in the fucking attic,” you muttered to yourself as you continued to search for your favorite color.

It’s not like Ransom had been a fan of your messy habits, but he understood that you needed your own place and space. He understood that you need a little bit of chaos to function and he never got on your case too much about it. As long as your clothes were clean and whatever area you were occupying didn’t look too out of funk, he didn’t give you a hard time. Plus, whenever he did think your mess was getting too out of hand, he spoke to you about it before doing anything. Ransom knew better than to just take initiative and start moving things around.

When it came to sex, Logan was much more tame. In fact, so tame that you felt uncomfortable asking for what you really wanted. Yes, you wanted slow and passionate sex from time to time, but there were days when you needed it rough. You needed to be put in your place. He wasn’t the biggest fan of going down on you, he didn’t call you degrading names, he didn’t pull your hair, and he wasn’t a fan of anal. Sometimes you got him to fuck you from behind, but he loved missionary because he loved watching you.

He was also a fan of you being on top.

It’s not like you were proud of yourself, but when you got yourself off, you often thought of Ransom and all the times you two had been intimate together. Whether it was in public, or in the privacy of either one of your places, Ransom always made you feel every thing at once. He always left you spent, full, happy, satisfied, and loved. So fucking love.

It’s not like Logan didn’t try, but Logan’s style just wasn’t enough to fulfill what you truly wanted.

What you truly needed.

Still, with all things said and done, Logan wasn’t a terrible companion. In all honesty, the only fault that you could find with him was that he wasn’t Ransom, and you really did your best to come to terms with that.

You kept telling yourself that it took Ransom a while to get to know you too, but if you really took the time to think about it, Ransom knew you before you two were ever introduced. Whether it was sex or just making you smile, Ransom always knew without you having to say or do much. You hated whenever he said that he knew you from the moment he laid eyes on you, but on some level, you knew.

You’d always known.

“Why are you still up? Don’t you have work in a bit?” Logan yawned as he sat next to you on the sofa, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him.

“Yeah, I just can’t sleep, so I figured I’d watch some TV. I didn’t wanna wake you up,” you shrugged as you forced yourself to be comfortable in his hold.

It was Ransom’s birthday and you couldn’t stand not knowing what he was doing. Since you’d told Ransom about him, Ransom had only spoken to you once and it was only to tell you that he’ll talk to you when he’s ready. He wanted to be happy for you, but he needed time.

That was 2 months ago.

All your mind kept thinking about was him. What was he doing? Who was he with? Was he happy? Was he okay? Had he moved on?

So many questions kept running through your brain, but you had no right to want answers. You knew that Sam knew exactly how he was doing, but it wouldn’t be fair for you to put her in that position. You vented to her enough about everything anyway.

“Baby, is everything okay with us?” Logan asked, looking you over.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“You just...these last few weeks, you’ve seemed more distant than usual. I know that I kinda caught you off guard when I told you I love you,”

“Hun, I just-”

“I know you’re not ready and that’s okay. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’m just...do you want to be with me?” he questioned softly, his eyes filled with genuine concern and anxiety.

You let out a deep sigh before looking away from him. “I’m just in a weird space. I keep thinking I’m ready, and I want to be ready, I’m just scared Logan. A lot has happened and I’m finally in an okay place. The thought of being all in is just a lot for me, but I’m trying my best. I really am. I want this to work,” you smiled weakly.

Logan was thoughtful before he spoke. “Is there someone else?”

You weren’t ready for that talk yet. “It’s not that there’s someone else, babe. I just have to get over all my fears and self doubt. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s everything that’s wrong with me.”

“Don’t. Everyone goes through shit, but I’m happy you want to try, because I really want this to work,” he smiled sincerely before kissing you on your forehead. “Lets get some sleep, okay? We both have a big day ahead of us.”

“Yeah,” you simply nodded before turning off the TV and getting up, heading to bed with Logan on your heels.

Against your better judgment, later that day, you text Ransom a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ text. Maybe your gift to him should’ve been to leave him the hell alone, but you just couldn’t.

Just like always.

After you sent it, you quickly put your phone away and got back to working on the arrangements you needed to have done in the next few hours. When you felt your phone buzz, you pulled it out thinking that it was Sam making sure you two were still on for dinner. Though, when you saw who it was, you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face.

Only One: Thanks Princess. Hope everything is going good for you.

You had to force yourself not squeal in pure delight. You thought it was crazy how a simple response could make you feel more alive than you’d felt in months.

Y/N: I’m pretty okay. I hope you’re doing well...I hope you’re happy and hope you have the best birthday.

Only One: What are you doing tonight?

Y/N: Um, dinner date with Sam. You?

Only One: Not a single thing, Princess. Your man gonna be around?

Y/N: No, he usually spends Friday night at his house with his friends.

Only One: Up for a movie via FaceTime? No funny business, I promise.

Y/N: It’s your birthday, go out and do something fun.

Only One: This will be something fun and it’s the closest I’ll get to doing what I really want.

Y/N: Ransom.

Only One: I don’t mean that, even though that would be a perfect way to end the day. I want to be with you. Spend time with you. I want you in my arms, but we both know that isn’t happening. A movie night over the phone is the closest I’ll get to that, so that’s what I’d like to do, if you’re up for it.

You felt your heart breaking all over again, but did your best to ignore it. As well as the voices in your head that were telling you to say ‘no’.

Y/N: What movie do you wanna watch?

Only One: 13 Going on 30.

Y/N: What?? You HATE that movie.

Only One: Yeah, cause it fucking sucks, but it makes you smile and laugh, and I miss hearing you laugh, so that’s what I wanna watch.

Y/N: I promise not to be annoying about it.

Only One: Lol, you’re gonna be so fucking annoying and I can’t wait.

Y/N: Fuck off lol. 8?

Only One: 8 it is, Princess.

You tucked your phone away once again and were practically floating on air as you went back to on the arrangements. You were so lost in thought, you hadn’t noticed that Shawn and your boss had come into the back office.

“Either you and Logan finally found a place, or you’re really in love with your job,” Shawn chuckled, causing you to jump so hard you almost dropped the bouquet you’d just finished.

“Jesus, wear a fucking bell!” you snapped as both Shawn and your boss laughed.

“Come on, I’m taking you to lunch,” he smirked.

“As lovely as that sounds, I have-”

“I’ll finish up here,” your boss smiled. “Though it doesn’t look like there’s much left to do. I definitely didn’t think you’d get so much done so fast. Great job,” she beamed towards you. “I’ll see you back here in an hour.”

“Will do,” you smiled with a small nod before practically running out of the room.

You never did well with compliments and attention.

“So, what was that all about?” Shawn asked as he started to driving you both to lunch.

“Nothing, I’m just having an oddly good day,” you smiled to yourself.

“Uh huh...would this have anything to do with Ransom?”

“Shawn, don’t make me have to tell you about something you’ll have to lie to Sam about later.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N!”

“It’s nothing! I just wished him a happy birthday and he responded. It’s been so long and I just...I miss him and I’m happy that he responded. Lets me know that he doesn’t hate me as much as he did.”

What? It’s not like you were lying.

“As if that man could ever hate you,” Shawn scoffed, running an exasperated hand through his hair. “You two...I swear to God. Aren’t things going well with Logan?”

“Don’t Shawn. Just...don’t,” you sighed, looking out the window.

“Fine, but both of you need piss or get off the pot. You’re gonna be 40 next year and he turns 42 today. You two gonna keep this shit up till you’re both in your 80’s?”

“It’s not as easy as everyone wants it to be,” you scowled. “Listen, today is the first time I’ve spoken to him since I got serious with Logan. I haven’t seen him since Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, I know all about it. It’s all I’ve heard about for the past couple months.”

“He still talks about me?”

“Still? Y/N, he never shuts the fuck up about you. It’s like a never-ending episode of the fucking Young and the Restless. I know it’s not in my best interest to tell you, and you better not say a damn thing to Sam cause she’ll kill me, but Ransom...he’s doing his best, okay? He really thought, for just a moment, that you two had a real chance. Then, when you found Logan, he knew he needed to take a step back. All he wants is for you to be happy, even if that means not being with him. So, after keeping me up for 4 hours to talk about it, he decided that it was best for him to just stay away from you all together. He knows, just like the rest of us, that the best shot you have at really making an attempt to move on is if he stays away all together. It’s been killing him, but he’s doing what he thinks is best. Your dad told him how happy you are with Logan, Sam makes it a point to let him know that Logan is good for you and you’re in a much better place, I’m honest with him about Logan being a really good guy, and everyone says that you seem to genuinely smile a lot more. It breaks his heart, but he just wants what’s best for you,” Shawn finished with a heavy sigh.

Your tears were falling freely and you didn’t care to stop them. A part of you was angry with Sam for not telling you, but a bigger part of you knew and understood why.

“Y/N, just tell me the truth. I swear it’ll stay between us; do you still want to be with Ransom?”

“Of course I do,” you sobbed. “He’s my entire universe. My whole thought process revolves around him, but it’s just...it’s too much, Shawn. It’s not like Logan is a bad guy, and I do care for him-”

“But you don’t love him.”

“I can...I will. I want to try and it’s still early. We’re in a good place.”

“Y/N, you’re only staying away from Ransom because it’s what everyone else wants. What do you want?”

“Shawn, not to be a bitch, but why do you even care?”

“1. Because you’re my friend and I care about you and 2. you’re fucking miserable. Sam knows it and so do I. It would be one thing if it were only Ransom. I love the kid but I can deal with him being miserable, because not for nothing, he kind of deserves it, but you...you don’t have that sparkle anymore. You don’t glow anymore. Nothing really seems to excite you anymore. We were all hoping it would change when you got away from Ryan, but it very obviously didn’t. Sam is holding on to you getting over Ransom because of how badly he hurt you, and I don’t blame her, but it’s starting to feel like you two apart is doing more harm than good.”

“This isn’t why you picked me and I only have an hour, and we’ve almost used it all up and you’re very clearly still on your way to somewhere,” you sobbed, wiping your eyes.

“You have the rest of the day, don’t worry. I’m gonna need you to help set up.”

“Set up? Set up what? Does my boss know-”

“Stop with all the questions,” Shawn chuckled turning into the parking lot of Lombardo’s. “Yes, your boss knows and she’s perfectly fine with it. Sam doesn’t know though, so we’re gonna have to be quick about this.”

“Quick about what? Shawn-”

“My job offered me a chance to relocate for a year and I took it. Sam doesn’t know though, because I want to surprise her. We haven’t traveled in forever and with me relocating, I’ll work during the week and be able to explore with her on the weekends. That’s why I was so busy and seemed so distant, because I was trying to fill out all the paperwork and figure out all the work that would need to be done without telling her,” he smiled hopeful, but you knew he could sense the dread in you.

First Ransom and now your absolute best friend? Getting older was really starting to fucking suck.

“Hey, it’s only for a year, and you know she’s gonna talk to you every single day-”

“No, this is good. She’ll be so happy and it’ll mean the world to her, because she really is scared that you’re sick of her,” you scoffed.

“Y/N, I know this isn’t easy, which is why I didn’t wanna say anything until everything was finalized. I understand if you’re pissed with me-”

“I’m really not, Shawn. It’s just a lot to process, but I really am excited for you two.”

“Just a terrible fuckin’ liar,” he smirked and you let a small chuckle escape your lips.

“What do you need my help with?”

“Well, you spent all day working on the flower arrangements, thanks for that by the way-”

“Are you fucking serious?!”

“What?! I figured I’d get the hardest part out of the way!” he laughed as you playfully hit him. “So now, I need to figure out the best fucking way to decorate the damn place, and before you ask; yes, I did consider hiring someone to help with all of this, but no one knows her as well as you do.”

“I take it you know who is coming?”

“Everyone who matters to her as already RSVP’d, her parents are flying tonight-”

“You want her mom and dad in the same room? Are you insane? Did you forget your wedding?”

“This will be nothing like that,” Shawn quickly corrected. “I spoke to the both of them and made it painfully clear that if they can’t be civilized, then they shouldn’t bother to show up.”

“Do you want me to have another talk with them?”

“Please?” Shawn questioned sheepishly, gaining a small laugh and nod from you. “See? Everything is gonna be great, we just have to get the place set up.”

“When is it?”

“Saturday.”

“For fucks sake! Way to not give a warning!”

“Just remember that your best friend is head over heels for me!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have a talk with her about that later,” you scowled before getting out of the car.

As you both took your time setting up the place, you both continued to talk about the idea of you and Ransom ever giving it another go.

“Logan isn’t a bad guy,” you sighed as you both exited Lombardo’s and got back into Shawn’s car.

“I never said he was, Y/N. I really like the kid, and if the situation were different, I’d tell you to stay with him. However, at the end of the day, it isn’t. You’re still madly in love with Ransom, and he’s madly in love and heartbroken over you. He’s even toying with the idea of selling that house and boat in the Hamptons,” Shawn muttered, starting his car.

“WHAT?!”

“Oh for fucks sake,” he groaned, realizing what he’d just done. “Hes only brought it up a few times, Y/N. Nothing is set-”

“He can’t sell that fucking house, Shawn. It’s our house!”

“Hun, his name is on the papers. He can do whatever he wants,” Shawn responded weakly.

“No, he wouldn’t do that. Not without talking to me about it first,” you shook your head in disbelief.

“Like I said, nothing’s set in stone, but I do know one thing.”

“And what is that?”

“The way you just responded? You’re nowhere near ready to move on with Logan.”

The rest of the ride was filled with you and Shawn going back and forth about the future of you and Logan, basically creating a pros and cons list in real time. By the time you two were back at the flower shop, there were more pros for you to get back with Ransom than there were cons.

“Logan deserves better,” you sighed as you ran a hand through your hair.

“That’s honestly just another reason for you to leave him,” Shawn shrugged, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

“He told me he loves me, Shawn. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? How can I just break it off when he loves me?”

“I never said any of it would be easy, and I honestly hate that because you deserve a win. You deserve a breakup that isn’t messy or painful, but staying with him out of fear of breaking his heart? Staying with him because you don’t wanna hurt the nice guy with a heart of gold? Y/N, you know better than that,” he scowled.

“Maybe after the party,” you mumbled, pulling out your own cigarette and stealing Shawn’s lighter to light it. “I do care about him, Shawn. I want to to love him and I think in time I can.”

“I know you do, Sweetheart, but you and I both know it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. Even if you do let yourself love him, it’ll never be enough or the same, and you’ll never be truly happy or satisfied.”

“Why do you want me with Ransom so bad?”

“It’s not that I do or don’t want you with Ransom,” he chuckled before taking a long drag of his cigarette before exhaling “I just want you to be happy. Yeah, it’ll make Sam happy and that makes me happy, but I’ve known you for a long time now. I see how hard and how much you love. I’ve seen how much pain you’ve gone through, how you’re always there for others, and how genuine you are. Of course I want you to be in love with someone other than Ransom because he hurt you, but at the end of the day, you don’t. You’re just as in love with him as he is with you. The man has done everything in his power to change for you, and you can’t move on no matter how hard you try, and you’ve tried hard. Just be with him. Be happy and have the life you want. He isn’t gonna fuck up again, so have the life you truly deserve,” he smiled softly.

“Sam is gonna kill me,” you chuckled, wiping your eyes before taking a drag from your cigarette.

“You said you’d do it after the party, right? Don’t worry about Sam. I’ll deal with her. I love dealing with her,” he smirked.

“And on that note,” you started as Shawn burst out laughing “I’ll see you two idiots tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” he smiled before wrapping you in a tight hug. “It’s only gonna be for a year, Y/N. I promise to bring her right back.”

“You keep her wherever she wants to be for as long as she wants. She deserves all the happiness in the world and that’s all I want,” you smiled, breaking away from him. “I know she thinks she needs to worry about me...she doesn’t. You two go off and be happy.”

“You know Sam. She can never be away from you for too long. She’ll text every day, call every other...you’ll see.”

“You better get going before she sees you,” you smiled as you dried your eyes.

You quickly get out of the car, cigarette between your lips, waving goodbye as he pulled off quickly, before turning and smiling at Sam almost a full 3 minutes later as she pulled up to the flower shop.

“I thought you were cutting back!” she snapped as soon as she saw the cigarette in your mouth.

“Its been a hell of a day,” you scoffed before throwing it down and stomping it out.

You felt bad because you knew Sam was leaving you soon, but all your mind could focus on was Ransom selling the house.

The home you two built together little by little. Yes, it was his home to sell, but at the same time...it wasn’t.

“You are a million miles away, what’s going on with you?” Sam chuckled as the waiter brought another round of drinks.

“Nothing...it’s just been a long day. It’s Ransom’s birthday today and I just...it doesn’t matter,” you smiled softly. “Tell me about-”

“Babygirl, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“Sam, please don’t. I’m trying okay? Really trying. Logan is wonderful, he just isn’t wonderful for me. I’m doing my best to make it work.”

“What’s the problem with him?”

“He’s just not for me, and maybe that says more about me than him, but we just don’t fit. He told me he loves me and I just looked at him like he had 10 heads.”

“Okay so talk to me, what’s the problem?”

“He always goes to you or my mother about getting gifts for me, he never trusts his own instincts. He’s always rearranging my art room even though I’ve told him multiple times to leave it alone. Sexually...”

“Is he bad in bed?”

“Not particularly...it’s just not there. That spark. He’s so old fashion and not spontaneous at all. I don’t need him to want rough sex all the time, but sometimes would be nice. I don’t come alive for him like I did for Ransom. Granted, it’s much better than it was with Ryan, but it’s still...it’s lacking. I keep telling myself that as I get older, I don’t need to fucked like a slut, but even with taking that out of the equation, there’s still no passion. At least on my end. I feel awful because he deserves someone better and I want to be that person, but I’m not. I’m just not,” you finished with a heavy sigh before taking a sip of your mai tai.

“Maybe it just doesn’t feel right because you keep comparing him to Ransom.”

“Sam, I’m doing my best to not. I’m doing my best to love and want him in the somewhat remotely close way I do Ransom. You think this is infuriating for you? Imagine how I feel about this shit. I don’t know, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It always leaves me feeling spent and exhausted. How are things between you and Shawn?”

“Y/N-”

“Sam please, I just don’t want to talk about it anymore. How are you and Shawn?”

“Things seem to be better,” she responded with a sad smile. “He seems to be more excited these days, but I have no idea why. I don’t know, my whole mood has changed about everything I was feeling before. I feel like something’s about to happen, but I don’t know what or when, but I just feel it. I know I sound crazy but-”

“You’re making perfect sense,” you smirked before finishing your drink. “What are you getting into tonight?”

“I honestly don’t know, Shawn’s been in movie mode lately and the theme seems to be about adventures and travel. Last night’s movie was the ‘African Queen’, and the night before was ‘Goonies’. Monday, he was obsessed with ‘Robin Hood’.”

“Which one?”

“The old one, with Errol Flynn.”

“Always a classy man that Shawn. What’s the plan for tonight?”

“I’m getting ‘Roman Holiday’ vibes from him.”

“Ya know, I’m so happy you married him,” you smiled and Sam fell into a fit of laughter.

“What about you?” she breathed when she finally calmed down.

“A long night of thinking, I’ve got some choices to make,” you partially lied as a sad smile played on your lips.

There was no need to tell her about your plans with Ransom and get her all worked up.

“Y/N, I know I give you a hard time about Ransom, but I don’t mean to. I just...I see the bad more than I see the good. I always have and you know this, but I can see what all of this is doing to you. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but if you really believe that Ransom is the one for you, just try again. It doesn’t matter what the rest of us think, and if you do choose him, I’ll support it. I won’t like it at all for a while, but I’ll get over it and support it,” she smiled sweetly at you.

In that moment, it hit you that Sam was going to gone for a year, and she was your main support system. If you decided to start over again with Ransom, you’d have no safety net, no one to call over if you and him got into an argument or didn’t work out for the third time in a row, and no one to celebrate with if things did, in fact, work out for the best.

Yes, you’d taken giant steps in being on your own and making your own choices, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you’d always known that she was your safety net. She had always been only a phone call or text away, and in about a week, she’d be a whole continent away. The longest you two had ever gone without hanging out was a month. Maybe a month and a half. What the fuck were you supposed to do for a year?

You were truly going to be on your own.

‘Maybe you should stay with Logan,’ you thought to yourself before shaking head. “Let’s get you home, that man of yours is waiting for you,” you smiled, clearing your throat slightly.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah no, I really am. It’s just been a long day and I’m just a little tired. Between Ransom and work, I’m just kinda burned out.”

Sam gave you a look like she didn’t believe but nodded anyway. “I think some rest will do you good.”

The drive back to your place was filled with horrible 90’s sing-a-longs, reminiscing over the stupid things you two did as children, and talks of the future. Halfway to your apartment, you text Logan to tell him about the party and apologized for the late notice, completely understanding if he wouldn’t be able to make it.

You couldn’t help but be disappointed with yourself when you scowled at his almost immediate response saying that he can’t wait to pick you up tomorrow.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay, babygirl?” Sam asked she pulled up to your apartment.

“I will be. Growing up is just a bit tough at times.”

“You’ll call me if you need me, right?”

“I promise,” you smiled softly. “Get home and have some fun!”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

You watched her drive off before taking a deep breath and heading inside. When you got inside your apartment, you checked the time and saw that you had 10 minutes till movie night with Ransom. You quickly changed into his AC/DC shirt and gray pair of sweatpants, grabbed a glass and a bottle of wine, before making yourself comfy on the bed.

You’d just made yourself comfortable on the bed when your phone started to go off, and you laughed softly, finding humor in how punctual he was being.

“Happy birthday to you!” you started singing loud and off key while Ransom started laughing. “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Ransom! Happy birthday to you! How old are you now? How old-”

“Stop!” he laughed “we don’t need to talk about the numbers anymore.”

“Making it to 42 is a very big deal, especially for you. I’m very proud of how far you’ve come and all you’ve done for yourself, Ransom.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Princess,” he smiled at you and you felt those butterflies come alive in your stomach like they always did for him. “I see you’re wearing my shirt for this.”

“It felt like the right thing to do,” you giggled. “Why didn’t you wanna go out tonight?”

“I did for a bit. Holly insisted on spending some time together and going out with-”

“Holly?”

“Oh...yeah, she’s just someone I’m seeing. Someone to take up my time,” he all muttered before taking a rather large sip of his scotch.

“Oh...” was all you could really say. You did your best to ignore the mind numbing pain in your chest and looked away from the screen. You weren’t going to allow yourself to cry in front of him. Not on his birthday and especially not when you were the one who kept telling him to move on. “Well, she must be something more than someone to just take up your time. It’s not like you just started seeing her today-”

“It’s only been a few months,” Ransom sighed, irritated with himself.

“So, there’s something bigger there. I know you and you wouldn’t spend a few months with someone if you didn’t feel something for them,” you pressed on, even though it was breaking your heart in a brand new way.

Why couldn’t you just drop it?

“Jesus, it’s not like I’m going to marry her, Princess.”

“Then what am I not seeing? Why be with her if you don’t see it going anywhere?”

“Because even monsters get lonely, Princess.”

“You’re not a monster, babe,” you sighed, shaking your head before finishing your glass of wine and pouring yourself another.

“What about you and Logan? Logan...?”

“Hitchens.”

“Logan Hi...why do I know that....oh, now that’s just too fucking funny,” he scoffed, downing the rest of his drink and pouring himself another.

“What is?”

“Nothing Princess. The universe is just full of fucking jokes at my expense. Anyway, he treating you well? He’s in the construction field, right? He makes enough to take care of you?”

“It’s not about the money-”

“I know it isn’t, but I don’t want you being with some fucking loser who can’t provide for you.”

“Things are fine, I guess. I don’t know, I try not to think about it,” you shrugged.

How had the night taken a bad turn so fast? Weren’t you two supposed to be watching a fucking movie?

“Try not to think about it? What does that even mean?”

“It’s just...there’s just a lot of pressure from everyone and I just...I wanna take every thing step by step,” you smiled weakly. There was no way in hell you were going to tell him that you were gonna break up with Logan tomorrow, not when he had someone who could finally be good for him. Not when he finally had a shot at moving on from you. “This isn’t what you wanted to do though. You wanted a much needed movie night,” you smiled before clearing your throat.

“Princess-”

“I’m fine, Ransom. I mean it. I wanna celebrate your special day with you,” you lied.

Yes, you wanted to spend time with Ransom on his birthday, and seeing him happy is all that mattered to you, but you weren’t fine at all. You were so far from fine.

For the most part, you two genuinely enjoyed the movie (mainly Ransom laughing at you for quoting it almost line for line), Ransom let you sing ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ with almost no judgment, and he attempted to appreciate the movie.

Everything was fine until the scene where Jenna was on the train home and ‘Vienna’ by Billy Joel started playing. It was hitting a little too close to home about a few things in your own life, and you couldn’t stop yourself from shedding a few tears.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Ransom questioned, alarm in his tone as soon as he heard you sniffle.

“It’s nothing, it’s just...ya know what? It’s so dumb, it doesn’t even matter,” you scoffed humorlessly, as you wiped your eyes. “It’s been a very long and emotional day and I forgot that this song was in the movie,”

“What does this song have to do with anything?”

“One of the first big fights my parents ever got into...Sam snuck over and sat in the bathtub with me in my attempt to try to hide from it. It was really bad. They were both screaming, things were thrown, my mother destroyed half the kitchen, the cops were eventually called...it was terrible and it was the first of many. Anyway, the night she came over and hid out with me in my bath tub, she brought over this record and she brought it and the record player in the bathroom with us, and when this song came on, I just started bawling. I just couldn’t stop and she didn’t say a word. She just took my hand and squeezed it, letting me know that she’d always be there, no matter what. We were 10 when that happened, and shes been by my side ever since, no matter what. Shawn told me today about the party tomorrow and him taking her away for a year and I’m happy for her. If there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s her. However, hearing that song makes me think back to that day and all the things we’ve been through since then, and the harsh reality is that I’m gonna be alone, and that’s never been the case. She’s always been able to come over whenever and vice versa. I don’t know, today has just been a lot of adulting at once,” you smiled weakly.

“Princess, you’re not alone. You’ll have your parents, your brother, your niece, Logan-”

“It’s not the same,” you sighed, ignoring the fact that he said you’d have Logan. “My parents and my brother have all abandoned and let me down at one point. My niece? What is she gonna do? She’s just a child,” you laughed. “Sam’s always been by my side and been there for me. Calling me on my shit and keeping me honest, as well as been patient with me while I try to figure out the hard shit,” you smirked. “It’s fine though. I have to be my own support system. I have to start doing things that I know are in my best interest and stop waiting for her to give me the ‘okay’ or her disapproval. I’m capable of making my own choices, but it’s just easier to do with her here, because I know I’ll always have her at the end of the day. It’s gonna be fine though, All of it will be fine,” you sniffled out with a soft smile.

“Do you want me to come over, Princess? I don’t like the thought of you being alone like this.”

You had to think about it for a minute, because all you wanted was Ransom. He was all you ever wanted. It had nothing to do with sex, you just needed him to hold you and to to tell you that everything was going to be okay. You needed him to tell you that everything was going to work out. That you and him were going to work out.

However, things weren’t what they were before. He had someone and so did you, and even as innocent as your movie night for his birthday was, it was still something neither of you would tell your significant others about because it was too personal, and meant so much more.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to,” you said after a beat “you just shouldn’t.”

“Y/N, I’m not gonna try anything, especially when you’re like this!”

“No, i know that. I do and that’s what makes this all that much harder. I can’t...it’s not right, Ransom. It’s not right and it’s not fair to you. You don’t have to be my knight and shinning armor.”

“I want to be though.”

“Ransom...I should go. We both need some rest because tomorrow is going to be long and busy.”

“What about the movie?”

“The movie has been over for about 15 minutes now,” you laughed.

“I don’t wanna leave you like this, Princess.”

“I promise you, I’m gonna be okay.”

“I love you.”

That somehow made all the pain your chest much more terrible. “I love you, Ransom,” you responded with all the positivity you could muster before disconnecting the call.

The minute the screen went black, you burst out into tears. You almost started to call Sam, but then the painful reminder that she’d be gone in a week’s time hit you like a ton of bricks. So, you just sat in your bed and cried, because what the hell else was there to do? The crying never stopped, but you did tire yourself out after about an hour or so, enough for you to finally want sleep. That night, you hugged your pillow as tight as you could, falling asleep to the thought of Ransom holding you close and kissing your head, telling you that everything was going to work out as it should.

When you woke up the next morning, the sky was gray and you couldn’t help but think find it fitting. You had a mini-panic attack, thinking you’d overslept for work, before remembering that Shawn told you that he got you Saturday off. You rolled over to check your phone and saw that you had a handful of missed calls and texts, and that it was 7am.

‘You would wake up at 7am on your fucking day off,’ you scowled at yourself mentally.

You scrolled through your lock screen to see who you missed out on talking to, and you didn’t feel the need to hurry and respond to anyone. Not even Logan.

Logan.

‘How the hell were you gonna break up with him? What were you gonna say? Why were waiting until after the party? Wouldn’t it be best to do it beforehand?’

All of these thoughts and more ran through your head, and all they were doing was stressing you the fuck out. You laid back down and decided to start going through the news, but all that did was depress you more. You were ready to put your phone down and try to go back to sleep when you received a text from Ransom.

Only One: Hey, I don’t know if you’re asleep or not, and I’m sorry if this wakes you, but I just wanted to check on you. No matter what happens, you’re always going to be the most important person in my life and all I want is for you to be okay. If I upset you by telling you about Holly hurt you...it wasn’t my intention in the slightest. If you need anyone, you know I’m always here. You’re never alone. I love you so fucking much and I’ll see you later.

Cue the tears.

You really wanted to stop, but you just couldn’t. You wanted to put on your big girl pants and get it together, but it just felt impossible. Fixing everything that had gone wrong, while also trying to believe in a happy future for yourself where you could just stand on your own two feet felt impossible. So, like any other capable adult, you decided to lay down and decided that everything could wait for the next couple of hours.

You told yourself that you’d breakup with Logan before the party, you’d tell Ransom that you wanted to buy the house off of him, and you told yourself that you’d be happy with the outcome of everything, no matter what. However, you kept finding yourself too tired and wanting more rest, which really didn’t surprise you all that much. Between work, crying, trying to figure out your feelings, and just trying to become your own person; you were fucking spent.

By the time you finally mustered the energy to do what you said you were going to do, it was time for you to get ready to go.

‘Well, I guess this party is one final ‘hoorah’ for both your relationship and your friendship with Sam. Who knew you’d be so good at killing two birds with one stone?’ you thought to yourself as you got ready.

You took your time getting ready, in no particular rush to go through the motions and pretend that you were okay, and especially in no rush to see Ransom with his new girlfriend, who you were sure was going to be stunning. You told yourself you’d be happy for him though, and that you’d be nothing but nice to his date. You spent forever trying to get him to move on.

Telling him to move on.

If he finally had, it was for the best and what he deserved. Happiness with someone who was good for him.

When you heard Logan knock on the door and tell you that he’s ready when you are, you took a deep breath and smoothed your hands over your dress. 

“You look gorgeous,” Logan beamed as you opened the door. He looked you over and the most loving look came over him. “I mean, I know I tell you this all the time, but you really are breathtaking.”

“You don’t clean up so bad yourself, Mr. Higgins,” you smiled softly, ignoring all of the guilt you felt knowing you’d be breaking his heart in a few hours.

The car ride felt like an eternity and you knew it was only because you knew you were dreading everything that was about to take place. Logan droned on about work and two of the projects he had coming up.

“The guy is a fucking hard ass, but it’s really nothing compared to working for Drysdale,” he scoffed as he pulled into the parking lot.

That had your attention.

“Wait, what?”

“We’ll talk about it later, babe. We’re here and I don’t wanna dampen your mood,” he smiled at you before giving you a quick peck on the cheek.

How could he not see how unhappy you were?

Nonetheless, you made your way out and followed him inside, quickly scanning the building for anyone you were remotely comfortable with. As you made your way inside the giant hall, your eyes landed on your mother but she was with her latest boyfriend, so you opted out of joining them. You soon found your father, but he was with his newest young bride, and since you’d decided not to go to the wedding, you thought it best to stay to yourself. You were about to give up and sulk in the corner while Logan played the usual roll of ‘Mr. Personality’ until your eyes finally found your brother, his wife, and your niece.

“You guys came!” you squealed, running over to them and picking up your niece, Sydney, who in return gave you the biggest hug she could muster.

“Thought you could use some support today,” he smiled softly.

“Daddy, she’s not crying! You said she’d be crying?” Sydney questioned looking from you to her father, as you burst out laughing.

“Little snitch, I said she might be crying and told you not to say anything about it,” he scowled playfully as Sydney just giggled.

“How have you been?” Ashley questioned with a soft smile, shaking her head at both her husband and child.

“Um, up and down. It’s good for her, I’m happy for her, and I know she’s gonna love every minute of it. It’s only a year,” you smiled the best you could.

“But...” Ashley egged on.

“She’s been the only constant in my life and I’m just so use to having her around all the time. I know I can call or text her, and she’ll get back to me whenever, but it’s just not the same. I could always go to her when things went wrong, but now...I’m on my own,” you sighed.

“You’ve got us,” your niece reminded you with a bright smile.

“You know what? You’re completely right, I do have you guys,” you smiled at her before kissing her cheek. “Who knows, maybe you can come over and hangout in a few days, I’ll have more than enough free time.”

“What about you and Logan?” John asked absent minded.

“We’ll talk about that later,” you sighed as the man in question made his way over.

“Hey! I should’ve known the whole family would be here,” Logan laughed, giving your brother a firm handshake.

“Yeah, I’m not really sure how my dad scored an invite, but yeah, the gang’s all here,” you scoffed.

As everyone started on with their little conversations, you felt a pair of eyes on you and you instantly knew who they belonged to. You were at war with yourself on whether or not you wanted to meet his gaze, but in the end you gave in just like you always did.

Ransom looked gorgeous and so did his date. Seeing the blonde bombshell with her arms draped around him made your heart shatter instantly, but you forced yourself to get it together.

Tonight wasn’t about you and you were determined to be happy for him.

You gave him a small smile and nod, before turning back to your family and your boyfriend, but you felt his eyes lingering on you, and it was making it hard for you to breathe.

“They’re here!” Sam’s mother called out, a giant smile on her face.

In fact, both of her parents looked happy and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen them happy in the same room.

Logan quickly rushed to grab a drink off of one of the server’s trays and quickly brought it over to, placing it in your hand and placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

Why couldn’t you love him and move on from Ransom?

You didn’t have time to think on it as you heard Sam’s voice, asking Shawn a million and one questions as they made their way closer.

“Shawn, for the millionth fucking time, I don’t understand why you won’t take this fucking blindfold-”

“SURPISE!” everyone screamed once Shawn removed the satin silk from her eyes.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, her hand clutching her chest as everyone broke out into a fit of laughter. “What the hell is this all about?!”

“Baby,” Shawn laughed, taking her hand in his and turning to face her completely “I know you’ve been worried these last few months, for whatever reason, that I’m going to leave you but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I got assigned pretty fucking far for my next assignment, and I said yes almost instantly. I knew from the moment they told me about it that it was something you’d love, soooo uhhhh, I kinda just started uprooting our lives,” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Shawn...what?” she laughed incredulously before looking around the room, only relaxing when she saw you looking back at her with a small smile on your face.

“Next week, literally a week from today...we’ll be in Brazil...for a year.”

“W..w-we’ll what?”

“We can go on adventures and hiking, you can start on those projects you’ve been wanting to work on for years, we can-”

“Stop, stop, stop...you basically uprooted our lives, without telling me, to Brazil?!” she snapped, more in disbelief than anger or irritation.

“...yes? This is basically our....well, mainly your going away party,” he smiled sheepishly.

“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! THIS IS AMAZING!” Sam screamed, jumping up and wrapping her arms around him as the room erupted into laughter and applause.

“You had me worried for a moment,” Shawn laughed before kissing her forehead.

“Imagine how I’ve been feeling for the past few fucking months!” Sam laughed, wiping away her own tears.

From that moment on, the night seemed to flow with ease. You stayed glued to Logan’s hip, mainly in hopes to avoid Ransom and Holly, and did your best to mask your feelings.

“How long have you known?!” Sam beamed with a slight slur as she finally got to you, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“He literally just told me yesterday, after I put a majority of the flower arrangements together,” you laughed, a small hiccup escaping your lips.

“You put the flowers together?! Babe, they’re amazing!”

“I’m happy you approve,” you giggled.

“How are you with all of this? Are you okay? We can take you with us!”

“I’m fine,” you laughed “it’s just gonna take some getting used to.”

“You won’t have to get used to it if you come with us!”

“Sam, this is an adventure for you and Shawn alone.”

“I know, it’s just gonna be weird not having you by my side, ya know?”

“Trust me, I know,” you mumbled before taking a sip of your drink.

“Sam! I’m so excited for you!” Holly squealed, making her way over to Sam and wrapping her in a big hug, as Ransom slowly and awkwardly followed behind. “See?! I’m good at keeping a secret!” she laughed.

“Yeah no, it’s truly something,” Sam scoffed awkwardly, giving her a half hug. “I don’t think you’ve met my best friend, Y/N,” she smiled towards you as you tried to convey with your eyes, to Sam, that you were going to stab her later.

“No, but I’ve heard a lot about you,” the blonde smiled, but you could tell she wanted to wring your neck.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you smiled the best you could before looking away. “Sydney looks like she’s one accidental insult away from making that woman cry, so if you all will excuse me,” you chuckled, before ducking out and running over to your niece, who was in fact, accidentally insulting an older woman.

You quickly got your niece away from the poor woman and back to her parents, and you felt Ransom’s gaze on you the entire time until you were out of sight. You were doing all you could to keep it together. Why was he always determined to make it harder than it had it to be?

‘Because he has no real intention of ever letting you go,’ you remind yourself mentally.

As the night went on, you kept checking your phone, trying to decide if you’d endured the suffering long enough before it was time for you to go home and endure another kind of suffering.

“Babe, are you okay?” Logan asked, coming up behind you. “You’ve seemed kind of far away all night,” he questioned, a worried expression etched into his face.

“Everything is great,” you smiled sarcastically as you downed another glass of champagne before trading flutes for a full one with a server that was passing by.

“Y/N, if you wanna go home, we can leave-”

“No, not yet. I’m here for Sam and she’s very much not ready to wrap the party up.”

“Babe, please talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong-”

“I just need a minute with my thoughts,” you smiled weakly before getting up and making your way to the bathroom.

The moment you got inside, you locked yourself in a stall and let out a deep breath before letting a few tears fall. In all honesty, you were ashamed with yourself because you were starting to feel more upset about seeing Ransom with someone new than you were about Sam leaving, though both were really starting to take its toll. Maybe it would be best to leave before you didn’t have the energy to break up with Logan. It’s not like you were necessarily in a rush to break up with him, but you didn’t want to string him along anymore. If anything was made clear as the night went on; you’d never be able to love Logan the way he deserved and you weren’t about to drag out another relationship that had no business starting in the first place.

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath before getting out of the stall, looking yourself over in the mirror and giving yourself a small nod, before making your way back out. You made it two inches before colliding into someone.

“I’m so sorry, I...Ransom,” you stopped as you looked up at your innocent victim.

“No, it’s okay, I was just waiting for you to get out...I wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay. You looked like you were about to cry.”

“You shouldn’t pay so much attention to me, I’m sure Holly isn’t happy about it,” you chuckled awkwardly, shifting your weight from one foot to another.

“She’ll be fine as long as people keep paying her compliments and the booze don’t run out,” Ransom scoffed. “Are you okay?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I always worry about you, how have you not realized that by now?”

“Ransom-”

“I’ve been contemplating getting you alone all night and talking to you. Making love to you. Making love to you and hearing you tell me that you love and need me just as much as I love and need you, because it’s all I’ve been thinking about for months. I know how to get you to be mine, at least for a while, and it’s been so hard not to act on that. However, what does that change? What does it show? I keep pulling us into this heartbreaking cycle because, for me, it’s better than nothing, but each goodbye hurts more than the last. Sex isn’t enough to keep you here and I get it, okay? I truly do because I’ve been watching you two all night and while I see some of the cracks, I can see that he’s good for you. I finally get what everyone’s been saying, and you’re happiness and well being are all I want. I just want...I need for you to be happy...even if it’s not with me,”

“Ransom, please don’t-”

“I can’t have everything I want...I’m not supposed to. Not even if it’s something that I think is for the best.”

“Ransom wait. Please just-”

“Is everything okay here?” Logan asked, approaching you two with an almost genuine smile.

“Logan, right? Nice to see you again,” Ransom faux smiled as he extended his hand to shake Logan’s.

“Good to see you again, Hugh-”

“Please call me Ransom,” he smiled at him before giving you a quick and sad smile then returning his gaze to Logan.

“Everything holding up alright at ‘Sunshine’?”

“Yeah,” Ransom scoffed “looks like the building is holding up pretty damn well.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Logan laughed before turning to you. “Babe, Sam is asking for you, she’s at the head table.”

“Oh...oh okay, I guess...I guess I’ll go see about that,” you mumbled before walking away and trying to process everything that had just taken place.

“There you are! Where-what’s wrong?” Sam questioned as soon as she saw the exasperated expression on your face.

“Nothing, what’s up babe?”

“Don’t lie to me. Not at my going away party.”

“Sam, it’s really nothing-”

“Y/N, in a week, I’m not gonna be here and we won’t have a chance to have talks like these. What’s wrong?”

“I just...Sam, don’t worry about it. I promise, I’m gonna work it all out and it’ll be fine,” you smiled before taking a seat and wrapping her in a tight hug. “Now, please stop reminding me that you’re leaving me soon,” you laughed.

“I’m trying to come to terms with it myself,” she laughed softly and you could tell she was doing her best to hold it together.

You both stayed by each other’s side until it was time to say goodnight, making plans about what the two of you would do when she got back, and talking about your ‘final hoorah’ before she left.

“Did you have a good time tonight, Sunshine?” your father asked, coming up behind you and Logan as you all made your way out.

“Yeah, I suppose,” you chuckled humorlessly as Logan scoffed and shook his head. What was that about? “How did you even manage an invite?”

“Shawn thought it would be best to have everyone whose seen her at every stage of her life here. She hugged me tight and thanked me for coming, so I think we’re okay,” your father smiled softly. “You wanna do lunch next Sunday?”

“Lunch sounds good,” you smiled brightly before giving him a tight hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too, babygirl.”

The car ride back to your apartment was silent and you could feel the tension in the air. You knew why you were stressed, but Logan? You had no clue what was going on with him. Halfway through the ride, he placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn’t think it would be right, seeing as you’d only be adding to his misery in a few short moments.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you asked as soon as you two set foot inside your apartment,with you making your way to the kitchen while he sat at your kitchen table.

“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he sighed.

“Logan-”

“You love him, don’t you?” he asked in a way that had you knowing he already knew the answer.

“Who?”

“Y/N, it’s been a long night. Please don’t beat around the bush. You know who. Ransom.”

“Logan-”

“What makes it worse is how hard you’re trying. How hard you’re trying to love me instead of him, because I can’t even be mad at you. I can’t be mad at either of you, because...what is there to be mad at?”

“Please just-”

“The way you looked at him, the way you didn’t look at him...how hard you avoided him...he named a restaurant after you. A restaurant that I built, and I didn’t even catch on until tonight after your dad called you ‘Sunshine’ as we were leaving. What kind of fool does that make me? Then when I found you two standing outside the bathroom-”

“Nothing happened,” you quickly defended as your tears started to fall freely.

“I know, baby,” he smiled weakly. “That’s what makes it worse. I want to be mad at you. I want to yell at you, but there’s nothing to yell about. You did your best. So did I, but sometimes-” he stopped short, clearing his throat, “sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.”

“I tried so hard, Logan,” you sobbed. “I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t want...I tried.”

“Oh, no tears. No tears, honey,” he softly cooed, walking over to you and wrapping you in a tight hug as a few tears of his own fell. “Lets just call it a wrap, okay?”

“I can send you your things if you don’t want to-”

“I think that would be best,” he chuckled, interrupting softly before kissing your forehead. “I know you can’t love me back, but I do love you. I hope...I hope no matter what, you end up happy.”

“Same to you,” you smiled weakly as you two pull away from each other once and for all.

That night, after he left, you sat out on your balcony and listened to ‘Vienna’ by Billy Joel on repeat, while drinking wine straight from the bottle. You cried until you were empty and ignored your phone until it went off for what had to be the 13th time. You knew it was Sam in the same way that you knew she was moments away from just showing up at your place.

“I’m fine,” you slurred with a sigh, finally taking her call.

“Then why have you been sending me to voicemail?!”

“Logan and I broke up. Well, he dumped me.”

“Oh babygirl...I’m so-”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s what I deserve. He saw Ransom and I talking and put two and two together. He deserves better. I want him to have better. He’s the best guy, but he’s just not the best guy for me.”

Sam was thoughtful before she spoke. “What are you gonna do now?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Sam, I’m really gonna be okay when you leave. You don’t have to squeeze in all of my breakdowns this week because you’re leaving.”

“I know I don’t, but I just...I want to leave knowing you’re okay.”

“In time, I will be,” you promised.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”

“And I love you.”

You stayed out on your balcony until 2am. You still planned on confronting Ransom about buying the house from him, but that’s really as far as you had planned. Ransom had made it painfully clear that he’d given up on the idea of you and him being together; Logan had dumped you, and you were more than positive that buying the house in the Hamptons was going to put a dent in your savings. It was all you had, which you found pitiful. A house that you hadn’t even purchased was your only chance at of comfort; it all stung of a quiet desperation that you knew you were better than.

You did your best to sleep, but the butterflies you developed in your stomach at thought of confronting Ransom about the house wouldn’t let you rest. By the time 10am came, you were more than ready to get the whole thing over with. You took your time showering and even bothered to eat breakfast (if only to procrastinate), before getting into your car and heading to the restaurant that always seemed to have some major impact on your life.

“Mr. Drysdale isn’t here yet, but he will be shortly,” Diana smiled frantically as you made your way to his office.

You honestly did feel bad for the poor girl. This was her second encounter with you, and once again it was stressful. “Just let him know that he’ll have a client waiting for him in his office,” you smiled as you picked the lock with your hairpin.

“Ms-”

“Please, call me Y/N.”

“Y/N, he won’t be happy about you breaking into his office, let alone-”

“Diana, when is he ever happy? Honestly?” you sighed, turning to face her as you opened his office door. You could tell she was really trying to think of a time and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “He’s not gonna fire you, hun. I promise. Take a deep breath, I know it’s way too early for all of this. Just let him know that he has a client waiting for him. Okay?”

“Okay Y/N,” she smiled timidly before turning and making her way back to the front of the restaurant.

You sat in Ransom’s office chair behind his desk and looked over the room. He didn’t have much hanging up. A few photos of him and Harlan, one of him, Harlan, and his grandmother. A photo of him with his parents, and a few of you and him in the Hamptons. You wanted to see what he saw every day. You were tempted to take a look at the picture frame on his desk, to see if it still held the photo of the both of you, but you heard the doorknob turn and got up.

“What the fuck is the point of you if you can’t even stop people from breaking into my fucking office?!” Ransom all but shouted as he stepped foot into his office, his angry gaze still on Diana.

“You really need to start being nicer to her, and pay her more. This is the second shes had to put up with our bullshit and it really isn’t fair,” you offered sympathetically, giving Diana a small and sympathetic smile.

“Prin-Y/N, what are you doing here?” he asked incredulously, waving Diana off.

“Be nicer to her, Ransom. I like her and I can tell she works her ass off. Both times I’ve seen you address her, you’ve been rude as hell.”

“Well, both times, you’ve been the one stressing me the fuck out,” he muttered as he took a seat behind his desk. “What’s wrong?”

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

“Because you’re here, of all places. Something’s the matter.”

“That doesn’t mean that-”

“Princess, it’s early as shit and I’m tired as all hell. What’s going on?” Ransom sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I heard you’re thinking of putting our house up for sale and I wanna buy it from you before it goes on the market,” you shrugged, taking a seat in front of him.

“Excuse me?”

“Where did I stutter?”

“Princess, while I’m happy that you have Logan, I’m still a piece of shit and I’ll be dammed if you two are living happily in our-”

“Logan dumped me last night, Ransom,” you sighed, turning your attention to the bird that kept taping on his office window. “He saw how I looked at you and...anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m buying the house because I don’t want anyone else living in our home. It’s ours and I love you. I don’t want anyone else-”

“Say it again,” Ransom begged softly.

“What part?”

“You love me.”

“I love you, Ransom. I always have and I always will. I’m done trying to fight it, and if this house is all we have, then so be it,” you sighed, meeting his gaze with watery eyes.

Before you could blink, Ransom was up and rounding the desk before kissing you deeply.

“Stop it,” you sighed once you two broke apart. “You have Holly-”

“Holly broke up with me last night and I couldn’t be happier about it. She said that I don’t seem to care about anything as much as I care about you and she couldn’t be more right,” he husked against your lips.

“Wait....so does this mean...?”

“It’s just you and me, Princess. We’re back in this roadside show,” he chuckled and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a soft laugh. “You are everything in the world me and I swear to God-”

“Don’t. Just don’t Ransom. I’m not strong enough to deal with-”

“I swear, I’ll never hurt you like that again. I’ll never lie, cheat, or make you wonder if I’m all in or not. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work. I just want...Princess, you’re all I need and that’s never gonna change,” he promised breathlessly.

This time, you were the one pulling him close and kissing him deeply. He had his hands around your waist almost instantly and pulled you up and close to him. You gasped as you felt just how happy and excited he was on your inner thigh, knowing what was about to happen.

It wasn’t lost on you that the door to his office was open, and that neither of you were quiet, but you didn’t care. Nothing mattered as long as Ransom was back in your world and you two were together.

“Fuck,” you moaned softly as he slid his hand down your jean shorts, finding the part of you that always craved attention.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving to and showing you just how much I mean that,” he groaned, picking up his pace.

“Ransom please,” you softly begged, undoing his pants and pulling them down the best you could, before undoing your own shorts and trying to get them off.

“Gonna take my time, baby. I’ve missed having you like this for so long,” he moaned as he kissed his way down your body, taking special care of each of your breasts before finally reaching your aching core. “This fucking cunt,” he grunted before sucking on your clit through your panties.

“Ransom!” you cried out, your hands gripping his hair tight. “I need to feel you, so make love to me or kick me out!” you whimpered pathetically.

“Oh, someone’s impatient,” he snickered as he slowly pulled your panties down. “You made me wait, so I’m gonna make you fucking wait,” he all but warned before starting to lick and suck on your clit.

“Oh fuck!”

Ransom was tender and fierce at the same time, as if he was trying to make you remember but not forget. He wanted you to remember how good it felt for him to do anything to you, but he also wanted you to remember that no one would ever make you feel so good.

That no one could ever make you feel so good.

“I’m so fucking close, baby,” you sobbed, hiking one of your legs up on his shoulder. The only kindness he showed you was adding three fingers and fucking into you relentlessly as he sucked on your clit with more vigor than he ever had before.

“FUCK!” you shouted, unable to control yourself, as you came hard all over his fingers and tongue. “Ransom please,” you panted “I need you...take me home,” you begged.

Ransom took his time cleaning you up before deciding to respond. “Home? You think I’m waiting? Oh Princess, you should know me better by now,” he chuckled darkly as he slowly made his way up, kissing your stomach, wrists, and breasts on his path, before finally placing a desperate and dirty kiss on your lips. “I’m gonna have you right now.”

“People will hear-”

“Good, I want everyone to fucking hear us,” he husked as he forced you to around and bend over, so your hands were placed firmly on his desk. “I want everyone to hear that you’re mine and you’ll always be mine,” he grunted as he thrust himself into you.

“Ransom!” you cried with a silent sob, gripping his desk tight.

“I love you so fucking much and I’m so fucking happy,” he moaned as he loved you from behind. “So happy that I’ll never have to be without you again.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” you confessed with a sob, trying to hold off your release. “I love you, Ransom. I’m never gonna stop...there’s only you for me,” you mewled as you you lulled your head back, relishing the feel of him stretching you.

“You’re the only...fuck, you’re the only thing in my life that makes any sense and feels right! I’m never gonna take that for granted again,” he groaned as his grip tightened on your hips.

“Only want you, baby. I only need you!”

“Gonna need this perfect little cunt to cum for me,” he demanded hotly against your ear.

“Then claim me,” you mewled, not caring about the fact that you were scratching up his desk. “Make me yours again, Ransom! I need to feel your love deep inside of me!!”

“I need to hear you say it again,” he sobbed into your neck. “I always need to hear it!”

“I love you! I love you so much, Ransom!” you cried out, determined to have him finish first.

“Shit!” he softly cried out, spilling his seed inside of you.

“Yes!” you cried, your arms giving out as you finally gave him what he’d been craving.

You both stayed that way for a moment, his arms wrapped around you as you both tried to come down from your highs. Lost in one another as you both reached the realization that you were both finally home.

“I’m never going to do anything to make you question my love or loyalty again, I swear,” Ransom panted.

“We have a lot to work on-”

“And we’ll get there, I just need you to believe that. I need you to believe we’ll make it this time.”

“I need you to be faithful this time.”

“Princess, I swear I’ll never cheat again,” Ransom repeated, his hold on you getting tighter.

“Lets go back to my place, we have a lot to talk about,” you chuckled.

Both you and Ransom quickly made your way out of the restaurant. All eyes were on you both since they all heard what you had done, but you couldn’t help but smile. None of it mattered, because you finally had him back.

You drove together back to your place. For the first few hours, nothing was resolved because Ransom couldn’t keep his hands off you, and you didn’t want him to.

By the third hour, you told him that things needed to be discussed and you weren’t making things official until they were.

That’s when the arguments started.

“I’m not living in that fucking house, Ransom,” you laughed humorlessly as you both paced around in your kitchen.

“Ya know, this discussion has been a lot about what you’re not willing to do. When will we get around to what I wanna do?”

“Ransom, all you want is to get married and you’re bat shit crazy if you think I’m accepting that proposal right now.”

“Why not?!”

“What do you mean,’why not’?! Ransom, this has never been a healthy relationship! It was based off sex, and now-”

“Now it’s obviously more than that! You can’t tell me that we’re both not ready for marriage!”

“Yes I can!”

“Maybe you’re not, but I most definitely am!”

“Ransom...no you aren’t. You pushing yourself towards something you aren’t really ready for is what fucked us over the first time. Please don’t make the same mistake again,” you pleaded softly.

You both spent the rest of the night going back and forth about the relationship you two had, as well as what the future you two could have together. When it was time for you to leave for work the next day that became an argument as well.

“You don’t have to work,” Ransom muttered, still half asleep.

“We’ve had this talk. I want to work, I’m not about to sit around the house and wait for you-”

“What’s so wrong with just letting me take care of you?”

“That’s not the kind of woman I am and you know that. You’ve always known that. We’ll talk about it some more after I-”

“I’ll take you to work, we’re not done talking about this,” he sighed before getting up and getting dressed.

That made your heart swell, because it showed you just how much he truly did care and wanted to make things work. It wasn’t all just words with him; you were everything to him and he was determined to prove that to you.

“You’re honestly one of the most ridiculous people I know,” he huffed as he pulled up to your job. “What time are you getting off?

“5.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then. I love you,” he muttered before leaning across the console and kissing you deeply. “Will you at least think about what I said? And my proposal?” he asked once you two broke apart.

“It’s all I’m going to be thinking about,” you laughed softly.

From that moment on, you really tried to see things from Ransom’s point of view because he was making good points while you two argued. You needed to get over your reservations and fears about trusting him, or else your relationship would be doomed. You’ve learned firsthand how a lack of trust poisons love inch by inch; you’ve lived that life with Ransom before and are willing to see from his viewpoint if that’s what it takes to be happy.

As the week went on, you two went back and forth between making love and arguing, compromising and negotiating. By the time Saturday got there, you were happy to be going out with Sam because you needed a mental break. It wasn’t Ransom’s fault; it wasn’t your fault, but there was just so much that needed to be handled and discussed. The entirety of it all was starting to take it’s toll on you.

“Princess, I’m fucking trying here, but you’re not giving me-”

“Ransom, you don’t think I’m trying too?! I’m so selfishly in love with you and want nothing more than to be with you but this is hard! So fucking hard and I know I’m being difficult, but put yourself in my shoes!”

“I’m trying to and I know I fucked up, but you said you want to give us another shot! How the fuck are you giving us another shot if you refuse to meet me halfway on anything?! You say I’m not ready for marriage, but I am! I want everything with you and I’m more sure than ever about that, that will never change! I need you to just give me an ounce of trust-”

“What do you think this is?! What do you think I’m doing?! Me being with you, arguing, wanting to try and get this right?! This is me giving you an ounce of trust!”

“No, this is you-”

“Hey, stop arguing for 5 minutes and let me in!” Sam yelled from the other side of your apartment door, banging on it.

“Sam, now isn’t-”

“Ransom, I brought Shawn over with me so you can whine to him. Now open up because I need my best friend!” she sassed, hitting the door harder.

Ransom cocked an eyebrow and you just shrugged. You down at your watch and saw that you weren’t late for dinner.

“Y/N!” she yelled.

“Calm down, I’m coming!” you snapped,quickly making your way to the door.

You opened the door to see a very panicked Sam and a very stressed Shawn. “We need to talk,” was all she said before grabbing your wrist and pulling you into your bathroom with her.

“Sam, what the hell is going on?” you asked as you closed the door.

“I don’t wanna go,” she almost cried as she got in your bath tub and opened one of the wine bottles you’d just noticed she brought with her.

“Don’t wanna go where? To Brazil? Why not?”

“I just don’t want to,” she sighed before taking a drink from the bottle.

You took a deep breath before making your way over and getting in beside her in the tub. “Since when are you afraid of an adventure?”

“I just...what if I don’t have fun? What if I watch him fall in love with someone else? What if-”

“You’re starting to sound like me,” you scoffed, taking the bottle from her and taking a drink from it yourself.

“And you. You’re not going to be with me. You’re not gonna be within distance for me to just see you when I need or want to. We’ve never been too far from each other and now-”

“Yeah, I’m not too thrilled about that part either, but it’s only a year and I know you’re gonna love it and have fun. Shawn is insanely in love with you and he would never fall for anyone else. There’s no one else as crazy as you,” you chuckled while she laughed. “Plus, if you really think about it, a year really does fly by. It’s almost been a year since my botched wedding.”

“It is? Oh shit! It is!” she gasped as you gave her a small nod and smile. “You always know how to calm me down. You sure you don’t wanna come with us?”

“You’ll be fine,” you laughed, taking another sip. “What triggered this little panic attack?”

“Our house is all but empty. No food, majority of our clothes are already in Brazil, pictures, shoes...I don’t know, it just finally set in. Shawn thinks I’m mad at him but I swear I’m not, I just don’t think I was ready for a surprise of this magnitude.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell him to give both of us a heads up next time,” you chuckled as you passed her the bottle.

“So, you and Ransom? I take it you two are back on.”

“What gave it away?” you huffed, grabbing the other bottle of wine while she took a long sip from the one you two had been sharing.

“From what I heard, Ransom has a point,” she sighed and you could tell that she hated that she was taking his side.

“I know, okay? I just...I didn’t expect this. After what he said at your party, I thought that he was truly ready to move on and then he kissed me, and now...”

“Babe, do you wanna be with him?”

“More than anything.”

“Then you’re gonna have to be all in. I know you’re scared and it’s terrifying, but you made the choice to take him back. You can’t just take him back half way.”

“I know, I know,” you groaned, sinking deeper into the tub. “I’m just so fucking scared.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I really don’t think he’ll ever cheat on you again. It doesn’t sound like this is the first argument between you two and he’s still here, trying to work all of this out. He’s all in, you just have to be too,” she smiled at you reassuringly.

“Ugh, you better not get a new best fucking friend while you’re away,” you sulked, laying your head on her arm as she burst out laughing.

“You have nothing to worry about, I’m fairly positive that no one else will be able to handle me.”

“You know what we should listen to?”

“I’m one step ahead of you,” she smirked before pulling out her phone and playing ‘Vienna’ by Billy Joel.

That night you both stayed in that tub for an hour, listening to the same song and comforting one another. Ransom decided it was best for him to make dinner for everyone. He and Shawn watched TV in the other room while you and Sam watched Disney movies in the main room. At some point you both fell asleep, holding each other tight.

“Gotta get up, baby,” Shawn called softly, gently shaking both you and Sam. “We gotta catch our flight.”

“Already?” she asked groggily.

“You can sleep some more on the plane,” he chuckled softly.

Ransom told you that he’d be driving them to the airport and you insisted on going, sitting in the back with Sam and holding her hand. The car ride was quiet, but it was a comfortable silence.

“You’re gonna have so much fun,” you promised Sam as you both got out and you hugged her tight.

“I know. Everything is going to be fine, I just need to get out of my head. You and Ransom are gonna be just fine too.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” she smiled at you before pulling you in for another tight hug. “I love you so much,” she whispered in your ear.

“I love you to the stars and back,” you responded, letting go of her and wiping away a few tears.

“It’s gonna fly by,” she promised, wiping away her own tears.

“You’ll be back in a blink,” you nodded.

She gave you one final hug before walking off with Shawn, and you stood there and watched until they were out of site.

“I’ll cut back on my hours at work,” you sighed once you got back inside Ransom’s car. “I’m not living in your house, but I will go house hunting with you for a place of our own. As for marriage...I’m not there yet. I know you are, but I just need more time,” you finished, turning your attention to him.

“I can work with that,” he beamed, before leaning over the console and kissing you deeply.

From that moment on, you did your best to trust Ransom. You two settled on a house not too far from where you worked, and instead of working every day, you worked 3 days a week. You didn’t press him when he came home late and took him at his word when he said it was work related. When he went out with the few friends he had, you did your best to not stay up and worry. However, Ransom easily put your mind at ease when he would come home and be all over you, never stopping until he was sure you were truly satisfied, holding you close.

In it’s own way, everything was ideal and you were happy. You were happy and you felt at ease. However, you were still denying Ransom the one thing he really longed for.

“We’ve been back together for almost a year! How much more time do you need?!”

“Ransom, that’s just it! It’s only been a year! That’s not enough-”

“Don’t. Fucking don’t. We’re not like other couples. You and I have been meant for each other since we first started this! We’ve been together long enough! All of the pain, bullshit, tears...what else do you need from me?! Why won’t you just say yes?!”

“I’m just not there yet, Ransom! I’m sorry! I want to be but-”

“But what?! Y/N, what else do you need me to do cause I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it is you want!”

“Ransom-”

“I don’t know what else to do, Princess. I just...I need some time,” he sighed, walking over to the coat rack and grabbing his jacket and car keys.

“Don’t go out right now, please. It’s pouring! You can barely see-”

“I’ll be fine, Princess. I just can’t be here right now,” he said before opening the door and making his way to the car.

“Ransom please!” you called after him from the doorway.

“Get inside, I’ll see you in a little bit,” he called back before getting into his infamous Beamer and starting it up.

You kept begging for him to come back inside, but he just pulled out of the driveway and drove off. You weren’t unfamiliar with him taking drives when you two got into an argument, but he’d always been smart enough to not leave in the middle of a fucking storm.

After a few hours went by and he still wasn’t back, you decided to call him. However, to your dismay, when you heard his phone going off in the kitchen, you quickly realized that it was no use. You poured yourself a glass of wine to try and calm your nerves, but it did nothing to help. You text Sam and told her everything that happened, and when she responded 40 minutes later it helped none.

Other Half: Why don’t you just marry him?

Y/N: Because I’m not fucking ready!

Other Half: Well, what the hell else does the man need to do? Jesus, I don’t even like him and I feel bad for him. Just say yes!

Y/N: What happens if it all goes to shit?

Other Half: Then it all goes to shit. Listen babygirl, I love you and I want the best for you, but this back and forth shit isn’t fair to you or him. If you weren’t ready to deal with all of this, you shouldn’t have taken him back. In the time you two have been together, he’s done nothing but make sure he gets everything right. What else do you need from him?

Y/N: You just don’t get it.

Other Half: No Y/N, you need to commit or not. You need to be with him or cut him loose. He’s not asking for anything outrageous, he’s literally just asking you to marry him, which is what you were all too excited to do not too long ago. Either piss or get off the pot, babe.

Y/N: You’re supposed to be on my side, Sam.

Other Half: Me not babying you doesn’t mean I’m not on your side, Y/N. You know that. I’m being harsh because you can’t keep doing this. Either you’re all in or you’re not. It’s really that simple. You can be mad at me if you want, but I’ll be home in less than a week’s time and I will have expected you to make a decision by then. If not, we’re gonna exchange some words.

Y/N: Yeah, I guess. It’s almost 2am and he still isn’t home. I’m gonna call around.

Other Half: Let your heart guide you, babe. If you’re this worried, it’s a sign. Take the plunge and say yes. Just let yourself be happy. Let yourself love him completely without reservations. You’ll feel so much lighter and be so much happier. Just trust me.

Y/N: We’ll see.

You were about to call one of his favorite bars when you saw headlights in the driveway. You were about to run to the door when you saw the headlights backing out drive away, leaving you completely confused. However, all confusion was erased when Ransom came walking in with cuts and bruises all over his face.

“What happened?!”

“Fucking Beamer spun out,” he muttered, throwing his coat on the rack. “I got taken the fucking hospital over nothing and the Beamer is totaled, but I’m-”

“You could’ve died!” you yelled, running over to him and wrapping your arms around him.

“Hey, I’m okay, Princess,” he chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around you. “I just got you back, where the hell do you think I’m going?”

“You can’t leave me, Ransom. Not like that.”

“Baby, I’m fine. I promise. It’s just a few cuts and bruises-”

“Yes,” you breathed before you could stop yourself.

“Yes? To what?”

“I’ll marry you. I’ll be your wife. Yes, I want everything with you. No fear, no reservations...I just want you. Yes.”

“Princess-”

“I thought I lost you, Ransom. I was so scared and I thought...I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t by my side. You are my world and I love you. I want this. I want you,” you promised, looking up at him with watery eyes.

“I hear the weather is wonderful this time in Paris,” he smiled down at you.

You and Ransom made love until sunrise the next morning. He made you a million and one promises and you believed every single one of them. You felt ashamed that it took you almost losing him to realize just how much you needed him. How much you loved him. The next afternoon, Ransom was buying plane tickets and booking a hotel for you two for next week, telling you that he didn’t wanna waste anymore time.

Trying to explain to your boss why you’d need a week off on such short notice, without letting her know that you were getting married was a hard task, but after a bit of back and forth, she approved it.

The entire flight to Paris, you had butterflies in your stomach, still trying to believe that everything that was taking place was real.

“Hey,” Ransom called to you softly, pulling you out of your chaotic thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“This is gonna work. We’re in this forever,” he smiled at you. “I love you, Princess.”

“I love you, Ransom,” you sighed, a giant smile spreading across your face.

In that moment, all of your worries and stress finally melted away. You believed him with every thing you had in you. He’d never give you a reason to worry again, and you’d never shut him out and push him away again.

“Looks like someone’s finally up,” Ransom smiles as he makes his way back into the bedroom, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I’m your wife,” you smile, holding up your ring finger as he gets in next to you.

“Mhm, you’re stuck with me now,” he smirks, cuddling up next to you and pulling you close. “How do you feel about that?”

“How do you feel about that? I’m the one that’s the hot mess,” you laugh as he trails kisses up and down your neck. “Don’t start that, we have to get ready to meet everyone at the Bar of the Eiffel Tower! Your family, mine, Sam and Shawn...no one has a clue what we did,” you giggle.

“Sam wouldn’t let me go to her wedding, so it’s only fair that she didn’t get to come to ours,” Ransom scoffed as you playfully pushed him. “Besides, we can have a quickie,” he chuckles as you laugh out loud. “We’re so close to the Eiffel Tower, we’ll be on time no matter what.”

“Says the marathon man,” you smirk before a gasp escapes your lips at the feel of his hand between your legs, his finger tips lightly teasing your sensitive bundle of nerves. “Ransom!” you moaned.

“Just want a taste, Mrs. Drysdale,” he smirks before bringing his fingers up to your lips. “I have time to taste you, don’t I?”

“Please baby,” you whimper before licking your essence off his fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he chuckles before disappearing under the covers and spreading your legs, giving him easy access to what he desired.

You moan in delight as Ransom is a menace between your legs; your mind wander to the previous day.

Somehow Ransom, in all his glory, managed to to get you both a suite at the Hotel San Regis for a week, and git a priest for you two so you and him would be able to elope in front of the Eiffel Tower. You kept your dress simple, but elegant, and made sure your bouquet was full of peonies and peonies only. While a part of you felt a little upset about not having your families there, you preferred it that way. There was no stress, no unwanted opinions, no bickering about flowers and centerpieces, and no one to question whether or not you were making the right choice or not.

It was just you and Ransom, and that’s all that mattered. Meeting him in front of the Eiffel Tower made your heart swell. He looked perfect and, in that moment, you knew that things worked out just as they were supposed to. All of the good, and the bad, had led you two to that moment and it was all worth it.

The ceremony was quick and simple, just as you’d always wanted, he hired a photographer to take a few pictures of you both before and after the ceremony, as well as the cute little French restaurant where you both had your first dance to ‘Stand by Me’; Bar of the Eiffel Tower. Everything you had ever wanted or needed had finally come together, and you had to pinch yourself a few times to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

“Fuck!” you cry out as you come undone for Ransom, just like you always do.

Like you always will.

“Are you sure we need to leave right now?” he chuckles after kissing his way back up your body.

“They can wait,” you smirk, wrapping your arms around him. “I just wanna focus on you right now. I just need you.”

“I’m yours for forever,” he husks softly as he slowly pushes his way inside of you, loving the sounds that escape your lips as he slowly pulls you apart. “I’m yours until you tell me otherwise.”

As you and Ransom make love, your mind can’t help but think forward and wonder what your life holds. All anxiousness and worry fall away as your mind sees Ransom by your side in every version you imagine for yourself.

Everything was going to be okay. Everything’s going to be fine as long as you have Ransom to stand by you.

The lyrics of the song to your first dance start to echo in your head as Ransom takes his time showing you just how much he truly loves and adores you.

‘I won’t cry, I won’t cry,

No, I won’t shed a tear

Just as long, as you stand,

Stand by me’

~~

taglist: @fuckingbye​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whxre4cevans​, @sweetflowerdreams​