#i love you beyond gorilla

[heelrollins]

📸 by Beyond Gorilla

[xf-cases-solved]

i fucking love how watching xfiles in order gives you such insane emotional whiplash

like for example, s1 you have ice, this amazing "the thing"-esque thriller, immediately followed by space, which is probably top ten least memorable episodes in the world. beyond the sea has so many emotional beats and insane levels of acting skill, immediately followed by fucking gender bender lmfao. the absolute mindfuck of having the duane barry/ascension/one breath trio interrupted by the 14 year old emo kid's vampiric wet dream that is 3??? unparalleled levels of unhinged decision making in that production room

anyway, i just watched colony/end game, and it ends with that poignant scene between mulder and scully in the hospital, after she put on such a demonstration of loyalty and love by ignoring his wishes and going after him and saving his life, and mulder finishes the scene by talking about how he has renewed faith in his search for truth despite his heartbreak, and it's beautiful bc in the end, isn't loyalty, love, and faith what this show is all about? -cue credits-

then "watch next episode" pops up and

it is the one with the invisible gorilla

this shit sure does keep you on your toes, huh?

[jaethaone]

Not As It Seems

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k ish

Warnings: None Really , Angst ? Just A Little.

A/n: So This Took Wayyy Longer Than I’d Liked, And I’m Not Completely Sure How I Feel About This But I Hope You Guys Enjoy

Gif Credit; @aalyssah

The scent of sweat and liniment filled the air backstage at the arena, mingling with the electric buzz of anticipation from the crowd outside. It was a familiar chaos, one that Roman thrived in, moving through it with an air of confidence. He was the embodiment of charisma — a superstar in and out the ring, revered by fans and respected by peers.

But behind that invincible facade was a tangled web of emotions, especially now, in a locker room dimly lit and heavy with unspoken words.

You were seated on the sofa, lacing your boots, the rhythmic crackle of straining leather a blend of comfort and dread. Tonight was the night you defended your title, one you had worked tirelessly to earn. Yet, your heart paced uneasily, the vibrant atmosphere of the backstage fading into an echo.

The door to your locker room creaked open, and Roman sauntered in, his presence commanding the room. He flashed you a grin that sent butterflies swirling in your stomach, a feeling you had tried to ignore since the first time he approached you.

You had been dating Roman for about five months now, falling for his charm and the way he seemed to genuinely care.

The stories you had heard made him out to be something of a rogue wrestler; confident and cocky, with a hint of arrogance that made him the talk of the locker room. Yet beneath that bravado, you had seen kindness—a gentle heart encased in a mighty exterior.

You remembered how it all began—every sweet word, every lingering touch—but tonight felt different. There was an unshakeable weight hanging in the air, a shadow lurking just beyond the light of his charming smile, and naivety was not your forte; you had learned the hard way to question everything, especially when it felt too good to be true.

“Hey, you ready for tonight? I know you’ve got this,” he said, pulling you out of your thoughts as he approached.

He was always kind, always supportive, but there was a confidence that sometimes crossed into arrogance. You loved how assured he was, yet you often found yourself wondering if there was more beneath the surface.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. You wanted to believe him, to feed off his energy, but something gnawed at the edges of your mind.

“Don’t sweat it. You’ve got this. Just remember what we practiced.” He stepped closer, the warm scent of his cologne filling your senses.

“Right,” you nodded, though your stomach twisted with doubt.

Roman reached out, helping you to your feet, his fingers brushing against your arm. “You okay? You seem a little… off.”

“I’m fine,” you replied too quickly, forcing a grin.

With a laugh, he playfully nudged you. “Come on, what’s the real deal? You can tell me.”

You hesitated, but his eyes searched yours with genuine concern. “I guess I’m just worried about the title match. It’s important.”

“It is,” he agreed, his expression serious now. “But you’re ready. You’ve worked hard for this. Just go out there and be yourself.”

You appreciated his encouragement, and as you leaned in closer, your lips touching, the world faded away, leaving just the two of you.

“You got this.” He said pecking your lips one more time, and wrapping his arms around your waist .

“Mmm.” You hummed into his chest, just being in his arms taking away any worry you’d had. “I love you”

“I love you” he says into your head, even though you felt him tense slightly at hearing you say those words. “Now finish getting ready, and I’ll see you later.

And with that Roman gives you one more kiss and walks out.

About 30 minutes later, you walk out into the hallway and head towards the gorilla, your match getting ready to start soon, when you hear your name.

Stopping in your tracks you can recognize the voices of Jimmy and Jay, and a few others talking behind a slightly open door, catching fragments of conversation that seemed innocent at first.

“I can’t believe you really did it man” you could hear one of the twins say. “I mean I thought it would take longer but 5 months is crazy”

You could hear someone chuckle at his statement, and as crazy as it may sound you’d know that laugh from anywhere, because it’s the same one that makes your heart race every time. So in that moment you knew Roman was in there too.

“You really think he couldn’t get her to fall for him that fast?” You heard one of his cousins, Jimmy, scoff.

Now this conversation had your full attention. Still standing at the door trying not draw attention, you bought your heart closer

“Can you believe he actually pulled it off though? I mean, it was just a bet!”

Your heart sank as you recognized the voice as Jeys. Their words cutting through you like ice. “What bet?” You thought to yourself.

You could hear someone else in the room ask the same question you just asked yourself.

“About 5 months ago me and Jey made a bet with Roman” you heard who you assume was Jimmy say.

“Some of the guys had been talking about how they thought that Yn was hard to get, and big uce over here was like it can’t be that hard” the voice you now know was Jeys said

“So we made a little wager” Jimmy continued “Since he didn’t think it was so hard, he had to get Yn to fall in love with him “

“How long did he have”

“A year” Jey said

“And y’all only been together for 5 months?” the mystery person asked.

“5 months last week” Roman said.

“And she’s in love with you already” the mystery person laughs

“Yeah man, five months and she’s got no idea it started as a bet,” Roman chuckled, his voice a blend of amusement and pride. “I told these fools, watch me work my magic an I’d have her wrapped around my little finger before they knew it.”

“Yeah, but it seems like you really like her now. It’s not just about the bet anymore,” another voice chimed in.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jey continued, a chuckle lacing his tone. “He still owes us a round of drinks when this is all over, and my money”

Frozen in place, your heart sank. The laughter of his cousins echoed in your ears. You backed away from the door, clutching your title belt to your chest like a shield against the world.

The truth hit harder than a slam in the ring. All the moments you thought were genuine — the whispered secrets, the tender smiles, the warmth of his hands on your waist — were mere coins thrown into a wishing well for a dare.

Distracted and broken, you found your way to the gorilla, struggling to grasp reality as adrenaline surged through your veins.

Flashing lights illuminating the arena and drowning out the noise in your heart. Your focus wasn’t there and your title match reflected that; every grapple and pin felt devoid of passion, mixed instead with the taste of betrayal.

In the center of the ring, you stumbled. An outmaneuver by your opponent led to a swift conclusion — you lost your title. The roaring crowd felt like a crash of waves engulfing you.

The feeling of defeat wrapped around you tighter than any championship belt ever could.

Backstage after the match, the celebratory chaos stung at your skin like salt on an open wound. You locked yourself in your locker room, staring at your reflection in the mirror through pools of tears.

Footsteps echoed outside, and a knock broke the silence.

“Hey… are you in there?” Roman’s deep voice reverberated through the door, a mixture of concern and confusion.

“Go away, Roman,” you replied, holding back the sob clawing to break free.

“Please, just talk to me,” he urged softly, and you could sense the earnestness in his voice. You inhaled sharply, memories of his laughter and tender touches swirling violently with the painful truth.

You cracked open the door, just enough to see him — a handsome figure framed in the hallway’s light. His brow was furrowed, the warmth he usually wore replaced with concern.

“What’s going on? You’re not yourself tonight,” he said, searching your eyes.

He didn’t know the half of it. You took a deep breath to steady yourself, and finally, the dam burst.

You crossed your arms, heart racing. “You didn’t think I’d find out, did you? I know about the bet Roman.” you whispered, the words spilling out in a rush.

“Wait—” he started, but you cut him off.

“The entire relationship was one big joke to you and your cousins. I was just a challenge. A bet you thought would be easy.”

His expression shifted, the confidence replaced with disbelief. “What? No, it’s not like that. I—”

“You took a dare. I was part of a game,” you interrupted, shaking your head as tears streamed down. “I can’t be a consolation prize, Roman.”

The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating, as if the walls had ears that watched and judged. A fire flickered in his eyes; it was the resilience of someone who refused to give up.

“It started as a bet, sure. But somewhere along the way, I realized how wrong that was. I fell for you, and I wanted to call everything off. But I guess you heard that part too late,” he confessed, vulnerability and pain mingling in his voice.

“You think that makes it better?” You shook your head, anger boiling over. “You played with my feelings, Roman. You made me believe this was real!”

He took a step closer, his eyes pleading. “It is real! I care about you. I wouldn’t have fought so hard to be with you if it was just a game.”

Your heart twisted painfully at his words. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You can't take it back. You made your choice,” you murmured, your voice barely carrying the weight of your despair.

He stepped closer, trying to bridge the space between truly understanding and merely sympathizing.

“You should have thought about that before you made a bet!” You turned away, refusing to let him see how much his words affected you.

“Let me prove it to you, please. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. Just give me a chance to explain,” he begged, his voice low and earnest.

You turned back, meeting his gaze. “What’s there to explain? You lied to me. You manipulated me into falling for you.”

“I didn’t mean to!” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every line of his face.

“I thought I could tell you before it got too serious, but then I realized I was already in too deep. I fell for you, and I didn’t want to lose you, but I was scared.”

“Scared?” you echoed, feeling a fresh wave of hurt. “Scared of what? That I would reject you? You’ve got the whole world at your feet, Roman. You didn’t have to trick me.”

He stepped forward, urgency in his voice. “I know it was wrong. I regret it every second, but I need you to understand. I want to be with you. It’s not a game anymore.”

You looked away, fighting back tears. “I don’t know if I can trust you. This changes everything.”

“Then let me prove it to you,” he said, desperation lining his words. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Just give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me.”

Silence stretched between you, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air.

“Why should I?” you finally whispered.

“Because if you let me, I can show you that I’m more than just a wrestler who likes challenges,” he said, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “I want to be the person you can rely on. The person who fights for you, not against you.”

You studied his face, searching for any hint of insincerity, but all you found was vulnerability.

“Roman...” you hesitated, your heart torn.

“Please,” he implored, taking another step closer. “I’ll fight for you in the ring and out of it. Just let me show you.”

“I don’t know if I can go back to how things were,” you admitted, your voice trembling.

“Then let’s start fresh,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “No more bets. Just us. I’ll do what it takes to earn your trust again.”

You bit your lip, considering his offer, the ache in your chest slowly softening. “It won’t be easy.”

“I’m not asking for easy. Just give me a chance,” he said, hope flickering in his eyes.

With a deep breath, you nodded. “Okay. But it’s going to take time.”

“Time is all I need,” he promised, relief washing over his expression.

As he reached for your hand, you felt the warmth of his touch, a spark of hope igniting within you. Maybe, just maybe, you could find a way forward together, even after the hurt.

“Let’s see where this goes,” you said softly, allowing him to draw you closer, the tension of the past beginning to melt away in the light of the possibility of a new beginning.

And as the noise of the arena faded into the background, you felt a flicker of something you thought was lost—trust. Because somewhere beneath the pain, a flicker of hope remained, clinging to the belief that healing could come.

Tag List

@whatdoeseverybodywant @trippinsorrows @rollinssection @cyberdejos2 @amandairene88 @loloschive

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Tough on Cosmic Horror

Laird Barron: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the story of eldritch forces beyond mortal ken Lovecraft: oh this is my favorite kind of story! Barron: of course the protagonist is a big tough manly man's man Lovecraft: what

Barron: this guy is a real rough and tumble fella Barron: loves beer and broads and bowling Barron: shoots guns Barron: drives a real cool car real fast Barron: was one of teddy Roosevelt's rough riders

Barron: this guy is a real macho dude Barron: this guy eats lightning and shits testosterone Lovecraft: i can't relate to any of this

Barron: and his name is Ramsey Graham Tananarive Moreno-Garcia Barron: Oates Hendrix Vandermeer Blatty uh Barron: Bloch

Barron: he's out doing manly things with his friend Bram Broadus Matheson "R.L." Keene Lansdale Barron: and his other friend Koji Carlton Saul Machen SanGiovanni McCammon Koontz Koontz: hey! my name's Koontz too! Barron: that's not a coincidence, boy Koontz: whooooaaa! Lovecraft: um excuse me? Lovecraft: Laird? Lovecraft: i believe you misspoke? Lovecraft: when you said buff man's man Lovecraft: surely you meant to say reedy academic? Barron: no Barron: no i did not

Barron: look, i think we can all agree Barron: the nerds have run cosmic horror for too long Barron: so i say Barron: [tearing shirt to reveal a second shirt with a NO SMOKING sign over a nerd]

Barron: no nerds! Lovecraft: b-but Lovecraft: you can't have cosmic horror without reedy academics who faint constantly! Mary Shelley: now this guy Shelley: this guy, i like!

Barron: and guess what else? Barron: this guy wrestles gorillas... and wins! King: and wins?!? King: wow! this guy sounds super tough! Poe: that is pretty tough King: boy! i'll bet if anyone is able to stare into the cosmic void and NOT go insane, it would be this guy! King: i would bet money on that! Barron: well, i got some bad news for you steve

Barron: this guy might seems pretty tough Barron: but even this super tough guy can't look into the cosmic void and come away unscathed King: whoa! Mary Shelley: ok back up there laird Shelley: exactly HOW tough is this guy? Shelley: cuz i think i could do it

Barron: actually, mary, it turns out that no amount of toughness can prepare you for the cosmic void Barron: not even Ramsey Graham Tananarive Moreno-Garcia Oates Hendrix Vandermeer Blatty Bloch could do it Shelley: Rip to that guy but i'm different

Shelley: now if some cosmic void tried to make me go insane Shelley: [brandishing shiv] i'd just stab it Shelley: right in its unknowable mystery!

Barron: sorry, mary, but no knife can save you from the cosmic void Shelley: my knife's different Barron: Barron: what's different about it Shelley: its owner Shelley: that means ME Barron: Shelley: bam! right in the unknowable mystery!

Lovecraft: laird's right! it's not about stabbing! Lovecraft: it's about mental fortitude! Lovecraft: the mental fortitude only possessed by reedy academics of an Anglo-Saxon persuasion! Shelley: ugh we're back to this nerd shit

Koontz: what about William hope Hodgson? he's REALLY tough! Koontz: he's like the toughest guy we know! Barron: William hope Hodgson? Hodgson: [swallowing 4 dozen eggs] you say my name, pipsqueak?

Koontz: there's no one as burly or brawny! William Hope Hodgson: as you see, I've got biceps to spare! Koontz: not an inch of him's scraggly or scrawny! Hodgson: and every last inch of me's covered in HAIR!

[indigo-scarf]

Crabbe and Goyle are not the same person

Crabbe and Goyle often seem to be a monolithic caricature of a large-bodied and thick-headed bully, almost always being mentioned together and acting in unison. However, if we look closely, subtle differences between their personalities reveal themselves in the text.

It’s unclear whether that’s intentional, or whether it’s based on the careless assumption that if something is said about one boy, it automatically goes for the other. But even if the cause is the latter, the result is that what the books do say about each of them is not exactly the same.

I. Dumb vs. Dumber

Beyond their physical descriptions — “They were both wide and musclely; Crabbe was taller, with a pudding-bowl haircut and a very thick neck; Goyle had short, bristly hair and long, gorilla-ish arms.” (PA) — one difference between the two characters is that Goyle is considered even more stupid than Crabbe.

Both of them are frequently described as stupid, with lines such as: “Crabbe and Goyle were sniggering stupidly” (CS), “Crabbe and Goyle guffawed stupidly” (GF), “Crabbe and Goyle had evidently failed to achieve the required O.W.L. grade…” (HBP) — but Goyle’s slowness gets extra emphasis on top of that:

“[Harry and Ron] had hoped that Goyle, who was almost as stupid as he was mean, might be thrown out, but he had passed [his exams], too.” (PS) “Ron, who had been gazing at Harry, said, ‘You don’t know how bizarre it is to see Goyle thinking.’” (CS) “‘That looks more like Goyle,’ said Ron [about Harry looking bewildered]. ‘That’s how he looks every time a teacher asks him a question.’” (CS) “‘Azkaban — the wizard prison, Goyle,’ said Malfoy, looking at him in disbelief. ‘Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.’” (CS) “‘I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,’ said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair.” (OP) “[Said Hermione,] ‘Your potion wasn’t nearly as bad as Goyle’s, when he put it in his flagon the whole thing shattered and set his robes on fire.’” (OP)

Additionally, Crabbe enjoys being part of Draco’s attempt to discredit Hagrid in Skeeter’s article, as when Harry got incensed at the claim that Crabbe “got a bad bite off a flobberworm”, “Crabbe was sniggering, apparently very pleased with himself” (GF).

In contrast, Goyle can barely keep up with a similar attempt to discredit Hagrid the next year: when Umbridge asked Goyle about injuries in the CoMC class, “Goyle gave a stupid grin. Malfoy hastened to answer the question” (OP).

And it’s suggested that Draco sometimes favours Crabbe for his slightly higher intelligence and magical ability: picking his second for a wizard’s duel, “Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up” and chose Crabbe (PS).

But on the flipside he might favour Goyle for more physical tasks, such as carrying him inside a dementor costume: “It looked as though Malfoy had been standing on Goyle’s shoulders” (PA) — though that might just be because Crabbe was tall enough to play a dementor by himself.

II. Cruel Crabbe vs. Greedy Goyle

Both boys are portrayed as violent and cruel:

“[Hermione] didn't even notice Malfoy and Ron rolling around under her seat, or the scuffles and yelps coming from the whirl of fists that was Neville, Crabbe, and Goyle.” (PS) “Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles threateningly.” (PA) “Crabbe and Goyle were now flexing their arms, closing in front of Malfoy, ready for the fight.” (OP) “Some people are into [practicing the Cruciatus Curse on people who’ve earned detentions], though; Crabbe and Goyle love it. First time they’ve ever been top in anything, I expect.” (DH)

And both are portrayed as greedy (at least according to JKR’s fatphobic logic):

“They lurked in the deserted entrance hall after Christmas tea, waiting for Crabbe and Goyle who had remained alone at the Slytherin table, shoveling down fourth helpings of trifle.” (CS) “Grinning stupidly, they stuffed the cakes whole into their large mouths. For a moment, both of them chewed greedily, looks of triumph on their faces.” (CS)

But each of them gets individual moments where one of those traits is highlighted. For Goyle it’s greed for material things:

“Goyle reached toward the Chocolate Frogs next to Ron...” (PS) “‘Count yer coins! An’ there’s no point tryin’ ter steal any, Goyle,’ [Hagrid] added, his beetle-black eyes narrowed. ‘It’s leprechaun gold. Vanishes after a few hours.’ Goyle emptied his pockets, looking extremely sulky.” (GF)

While for Crabbe it’s cruelty:

“‘It was that thug, Crabbe,’ said Angelina angrily. ‘He whacked the Bludger at you the moment he saw you’d got the Snitch — but we won, Harry, we won!’” (OP) “Neville, who was trapped in a stranglehold by Crabbe and looked in imminent danger of suffocation.” (OP)

And although by Deathly Hallows they are both said to be casting the Cruciatus and enjoying it, only Crabbe is shown also using the Killing Curse and Fiendfyre:

“It’s that Mudblood! Avada Kedavra!” (DH) “Crabbe wheeled around and screamed, ‘Avada Kedavra!’ again.” (DH) “Like it hot, scum?” roared Crabbe as he ran. But he seemed to have no control over what he had done. [...] Harry, Ron, and Hermione pelted along in his wake, and the fire pursued them. It was not normal fire; Crabbe had used a curse of which Harry had no knowledge.” (DH)

III. Goyle never turned against Draco

The third and most important difference was the whole reason I started writing this, but it will have to be its own post. Stay tuned.

[slippinninque]

🏃🏾‍♀️Nosey🔎

You end up in some business that's not exactly yours...

Jatemme Manning x blackfem reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence and some torture (not to reader) soft!dark!Jatemme, long fic

-----

There were times where the job could get messy.

Vision blurring at the edges and pain shooting down your side, you continued through the alleys. The siren’s call and rushing cars filled the air, you could hear the gunshots as your tails met each other.

Lungs burning and legs screaming, you hoped the worst for both of them.

You went next to the double dumpster of a vegan spot and slid into sitting down. Your head swam with the growing pain, you knew you had to keep moving but you couldn’t keep bleeding.

‘Love's is gonna kill me.’ You couldn't help the little laugh that slipped, knowing the man was going to go nuclear.

Right now, all you could was try to fix your shoulder.

You ripped off your bloody shirt and tore a strip around the slash in your side. The other, you wrapped as best as possible around the left shoulder where there could be a bullet still lodged in there.

Groaning and re-shouldering the pack, you zipped up your hoodie all the way and tossed up the hood. After a moment to guess where you were beyond Funky Fresh Vegan Bistro, you pushed towards the mouth of the ally.

In the backpack were a handful of USB drives that held some pretty compelling information about a few families in the underground and high-crust.

All of it set to be given to the police in the the work of a mole. Multiple moles, a syndicate across turfs. Proof and promises for smaller sentences, complacent public figures, receipts for cleaned money, audio files—oh, they had it all.

Now you had it. Though not much time came with it now that half the city was looking for you. Still, it was well worth the nasty fall you took in getting the hell out of dodge.

You just had to get to your turf. A neutral space, either one of the bars or pawnshops owned by your cousins maybe?

A bullet ricocheted from the metal post of the fence, startling you and causing you to bolt.

-------------

Four men naked and taped to their chairs. Every sound uttered that wasn't information cost a tooth. With that sort of currency, Jatemme had to get creative after a while.

They were pleading and leaking from all over but Jatemme wouldn’t let any of them die until one of them finally told him what he needed to hear.

Asthma knew this special mood was from a very specific source. Namely one the exact size of a foxy little smooth talker that's been missing for nearly 24 hours.

Jatemme didn’t look at Asthma as he rounded to this table of tools, picking up a potato peeler as he spoke.

“Did you find her?”

“She ran into one of our laundromats. Eddy and Chris was there to meet her after a tip about her running from the Opps spread through Southwest. They said they're taking her to see Doc.”

Jatemme stood slowly and fixed a dark gaze onto his captives,

“Was she hurt?”

“Banged up good but heard Doc say she had worse.” Asthma didn’t come closer, didn’t move away from the door. Whoever those men were--they probably didn't have long left.

“She had something with her you might want to see, though. Eddy came through to drop it off."

When Jatemme looked over at him, Asthma wordlessly held up a well-worn Crown Royal bag.

….

You felt like you were ran over by a pack of trucks. Or suplexed by a Silverback gorilla—but you were also satisfied.

You stole enough leverage to keep the skies clear for years.

“I have to say, you’ve been doing pretty good. There was a time I’d see you every week.” Doc returned with fresh bandages. You began sitting up and he hurried to get you to lay back down.

“With the way you used to chew my ass out, I've been taking my chances with the lil' sewing kit at home.”

“Explains all these wobbly-ass scars then.”

You snorted, pain jolting with your amusement, “Yo, not too much on me! I learned from watching you, old man!”

It was Doc’s turn to laugh as he peeled away the stained bandage on on side. The puncture was pretty deep and the healing was going to be a bitch, but you were lucky enough it didn't reach anything vital.

“I won’t recommend falling onto a fence head, it’s not as quirky as the TV makes it seem.”

"Girl, what the hell are you watchin'?"

You rambled on and tried to ignore the way the pain killers churned in your empty stomach as you wated for them to kick in. While you knew Doc was being as careful as he could, you still winced.

It's actually been a while since the last time you had stitches.

“Little more and then you can sleep it off, champ.” Doc grunted as he emptied a syringe into you, “Rusty metals are a bitch after all."

“And how…”

Your eyes closed. Took deep breaths and soon enough, the room stopped spinning and Doc was putting a fresh bandage onto the worst of it. He's been stitching you up since you got into the streets, you've slept on his cot more nights than you can count.

Wasn't long before the absence of adrenaline invited the presence of reality.

Jamal finding out you went snooping without permission--that you could sort of handle. Jamal would be more than appeased by the blackmail and leverage you dug up.

If Jatemme saw how badly you fucked yourself up over a ‘side quest’, then that...would be worse.

“Say, Doc, when can I—uh--get on out of here?”

Doc looked at you as if you spoke to him in Klingon, “Leave? Girl, give the good shit time to kick in, at least! 'Sides, you’re going to be here at least until morning. That ankle of yours alone—woah, wait!”

You were already dizzy from the sudden movement of you sitting up, but you had to get home. You didn't want Jatemme to see you as you were, it was too bad--too soon.

If you could make it home, you could buy some more time for the worst of it to go away. You stood from the bed with a yelp, unsteady but trying to move away Doc’s worried hands.

“Suddenly, Doc, I feel a while ‘lot better. So much, so much better. Think I’m gonna finish healing up at home, y’know?”

“Is this about Manning? Sorry kid, but the cat’s out the bag—he knows.”

"Aw shit," You groaned, arms going around your stomach as it thundered. The pain rocketed down your side, Doc hissed something as he reached out to steady you.

“I-I still wanna go home. I'll be more comfortable there..."

"C'mon now, kid--

"Shouldn't you be invested in the quality of my healing? I'd be waaay more comfortable there, old man..."

“Hear me out, let me get you as patched up as a can to last—yeah?”

"I'm fine...”

“I think you should listen to doctor’s orders.”

You went still. Doc made a relived noise prodded you towards the cot, you went stiffly. He helped to lay you and you gave a great, big sigh as you finally faced the figure blocking the doorway.

“Heeey there, Love...”

Jatemme came and took Doc’s seat when he stood at the sight of him in the doorway. Jatemme unpinned his stare from you and looked to the older man.

“Tell me what we’re looking at, Doc.”

You swallowed as the list was rattled off in alphabetical order. Bruising, gunshot wound to the left shoulder, multiple lacerations, and a rolled ankle.

Jatemme stared at him, eyes endless and still. You picked at the loose thread of the cot's scratchy blanket when Jatemme finally dismissed Doc to turn his eyes on you.

The silence was thick enough for you to eventually wince beneath it. Jatemme sighed, deep and heavy as he stood. You looked up at him in time for him to catch your chin as he came to sit closer to you on the cot.

Jatemme pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, then another. You felt like your could implode, or maybe pass out.

He pulled back enough for your noses to touch, “I heard you almost got killed..."

Your giggle was a bit intense, nervous and excited as always when he was near. Jatemme’s smile was small as he pointed his finger directly in the center of your forehead.

“Do you know what I'd do? If I missed you?"

Not for the first time--you wondered just how far Jatemme would be willing to go.

“Hm...probably want to give me one of these?" You darted forward a stole a kiss, “Or maybe one of these...?”

You tried to get another kiss but Jatemme moved back at the last moment, catching your head between his palms. All traces of humor gone in his face as your ears struggled to pick up is next words.

"Tell me what happened. Now."

So you did. You didn't work for Jatemme, you didn't work for anyone, but you were meddling in his shit. The least you could do is tell the truth.

Jatemme had relaxed his hold on you by the end of the story. His hands went from your head to one resting on your thigh and the other in his pocket.

“I told you to leave it be. I was gonna press Gavin to see who the connect was.”

“Wasn't no 'leave it be', I'm telling you. Gavin was gonna go tonight, as soon as he left from here with his tail.”

You put your hand over his, thumbing over all of his knuckles.

“If I would have left it there? I swear we would have been booked by noon tomorrow, Love. "

Jatemme stared. While he took in whatever he needed, you took in the pleasure of his handsomeness and the slow numbness that was taking over from whatever the hell Doc gave you.

“Don’t be a danger to yourself.” Jatemme said quietly after a while, “I will put you up somewhere if something like this happens again."

"All I hear is that you liiike me, you wanna kiiisss me..."

"You playin' too much. Don't think I won't, brat.”

You didn’t doubt it. Jatemme could make a lot of things happen, you've seen it firsthand. The only problem is that it didnt' scare you. It caused quite the opposite effect.

If Jatemme wanted to hoard you all to himself--it was in the public best interest to let him do as he wanted, right?

"I know, Love, I know."

Jatemme leaned in slow and you were eager to meet him. He kissed slow and soft, pinching your cheek before pulling away. Jatemme stood to ease you back into the pillows, grabbing the throw blanket that Doc kept.

“Chill here for now. I’m going to make a call and then we're going to head out.”

You nodded and suddenly felt so tired. The worst of it was over now, even if Jatemme was plotting on a lesson when you were in better shape. It was a good save, no one could take that from you.

With that thought, you dropped off into a mildly-comfortable doze as you waited for the pain meds to take over.

Jatemme lingered until you fell asleep. The bunching in your brow smoothed out and your breaths were deeper, not as if you sucked on pain every inhale.

Your hair was a mess of braids and he saw a the bandage above your brow was already stained red. You slept like you didn't fall a few stories onto a iron fence and weren't the source of Jatemme's headache.

He heard what Doc said about your ankle and thought about the talk he still had to have with Jamal. It was too late in the evening to even consider the bodies still in his workshop.

‘Gave us plenty of work, didn't you?' He thought, looking at the blood beneath your nails. Pulling out his phone and then your bag of snatched evidence, he texted his brother.

Then sent a follow up asking for him to bring a bottle.

-------

✨ending notes✨: this one was rattling around my brain for the longest and have definitely been taking up space in my drafts! I think this is a bit different for me 🤔 I'm looking to make a more chaotic reader and I think she may do well with Jatemme! 🤣Thank you so much for reading! Tell me what you think! 💜✨💕

💕taglist💞: @megamindsecretlair @blowmymbackout @thadelightfulone @mysecertdiaryofableedingheart @sageispunk

@kindofaintrovert @satoruya @harmshake @miyuhpapayuh @ms-angiealsina

@cocochannelmoi @hunnishive @last-lost-one @yasminsqueendom @flydotty

@henneseyhoe

[amrcnnightmre]

Hi I see you take requests. Would you write a CM Punk x wrestler!fm!reader? Maybe one where him and Drew McIntyre are in the height of their feud, and Drew gets the reader hurt during a match. Angst, love, you know lol

I’ve got you - C.M Punk

All fics posted are my original work, feel free to reblog but DO NOT repost thank you!! I haven’t thoroughly edited this so apologies if there’s any errors! All rights are reserved for my writing and any ocs that may be included, please don’t steal and as always.. happy reading!

My Masterlist

CM Punk x wrestler!fm!reader!

( tw: angst, fluff, injury, slight worry & panic )

Word count: 1,9K !

requested.

A feud between Punk and McIntyre had gotten to an all time high, both at each others throats constantly and the person in the middle of it all — y/n. Drew found just about all the ways he could to get under CM Punks skin but dragging y/n into the mix brought a whole other level of anger out of Punk, she was his long time partner after all.

Punk and y/n have been together almost 11 years now, their relationship Is as strong as ever. There is nobody who has supported him more then she has, you see him and you know y/n is never far behind — she always had his back.

The action of Monday night was in full effect— bright lights, loud pumped up crowd members and eager superstars ready to take to the ring for each of their scheduled matches. Y/n stood backstage with a furrowed expression as her gaze remained fixated on one of the many screens showcasing the action currently taking place beyond the curtain. Drew was getting the upper hand on his opponent Jey Uso while Punk sat ringside at the commentary desk, saying just about anything to distract the Scots man — a smug expression laced effortlessly on his face as he spoke to the two men next to him.

Y/n had been warming up for her own match that would take place later that night when her attention was caught by the screen closest to her, she wasn’t suppose to get involved in this match but watching drew get in Punks face and yell all sorts of insults the way he did just set her off. It took her no time at all to reach the gorilla, quickly asking one of the backstage tech crew to hit her music before she slipped out of the curtain towards the ring.

A sly smile graced y/n’s lips as she innocently skipped her way down the isle, her hands interlocked behind her back. Punk’s expression twitching slightly in confusion but he quickly hid it with a smile. “ladies and gentleman that is Cm Punks longtime partner y/n heading towards the ring, what is she doing out here during this match” Michael Cole exclaimed as he looked toward punk who responded almost immediately — “your guess is as good as mine Cole, you can’t tame a woman like her” he chuckled lightly to hide any concern in his tone.

It wasn’t that he didn’t think y/n could handle herself but Drew was on a ruthless streak of aggression lately that Punk just didn’t trust. Y/n’s smile didn’t fade once as she locked eyes with Drew, Anger flashing across his face as he almost became distracted for a moment. She waved at him mischievously from ringside, the match continued until Drew began to get the upper hand, y/n was not going to let that happen on her watch — not after everything he had put her family through. Y/n climbed up on the ring apron with ease, immediately getting the referees attention in order to cause a distraction and as if on cue Punk slipped away from his spot on commentary and into the ring, a steel chair in hand.

Jey Uso was sprawled out on the mat from prior attack curtesy of Drew, Punk smirking at the Scots man across from him as he rose the chair above his head preparing to slam it down on Drews back that was turned away from him. The next few moments were a blur, happening quicker than anyone could even process, Drew turned and grabbed the chair in the process — nailing Punk in the face with a hard blow from his right hand, it caused such an impact that the man tumbled to the mat and it would now be the Scottish warrior holding the chair above his head.

Drew reeled the chair back as if preparing to strike Cm Punk with the cold steel, turning to his left instead and shocking everyone in attendance — he hit Y/n. The chair nailed Y/n right in the head before she had time to process it, the impact so loud you could’ve sworn it cracked her skull. The refs eyes were wide as Y/n tumbled off the apron and hit the floor with a rough thud. “should’ve kept your girlfriend at home where she belongs!” Drew growled at Punk with a sly grin, The rage that surged through Cm punks veins was unlike any other the moment he realised what had just transpired and within seconds he snapped.

An all out brawl ensued between the two men until Adam Pierce the Raw general manager came storming out to the ring, he signalled for back up and before long the ring was filled with superstars and backstage talent prying the two away from one another. The chaos all happening as medics checked on Y/n who was out cold, they worked quickly to get her on a stretcher and brought to the trainers room.

A few minutes later things began to calm down and that was when Punk realised Y/n was nowhere in sight, a panic washing over him immediately — where was she? Was she okay? Why didn’t he check on her first ? The second these thoughts flooded his mind he was out of the ring and sprinting to the back, pushing his way through the curtain yelling at everyone around him as he asked for y/n’s whereabouts. “Where is she?! Where is Y/N?!” He barked at Paul Levesque aka Triple H, “Phil she’s in the trainers office, they’re checking her out to see if she needs to be transported to the local medical facility” he replied in a soft tone, that was all Punk needed to hear before giving the man a nod and heading straight to the office.

The expression on Punks face immediately softening as he opened the door and saw Y/n sitting up slowly with a groan, their eyes immediately meeting as he walked to her side. “Fuck.. I’m so sorry.. I should’ve looked after you and went straight over-” his ramble was cut off by Y/n placing a gentle kiss to his lips as she held his face in her hands. “Hey, hey I’m okay I promise.. just a little sore” she smiled sweetly at him, Punks eyes rapidly scanned over her body checking for any obvious injuries — the bruising already forming only made him seethe with anger. “I’m gonna kill him I swear” he grumbled under his breathe as his eyes met hers again, “mm later” she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck loosely.

“Im going to go get ready for my match” y/n whispered knowing he would be disapproving given her current state, “to hell you are darlin” he shook his head, “hmm too late?” She giggled before getting up off the table and running out the door down the hall. “Hey don’t you dare!” He laughed chasing her, y/n’s loud giggles echoing through the halls as he chased her.

After a few moments she arrived at her locker room and quickly ran in while closing the door behind her, “y/n” Punk laughed, “y/n i know you’re in there, let me in” he spoke softly. “mm only if you don’t get mad that i’m still planning to do my match later tonight” she smiled as if he could see it through the door, “y/n y/m/n y/l/n.. you’ll be the death of me” he sighed with a gentle laugh after speaking her full name. “Okay fine, but you have to get medically cleared by the trainer first.. deal?” he spoke while standing back waiting for the door to open.

After a few seconds the door opened and revealed Y/n with a little grin on her face, “how can I say no to that?” she whispered before pulling him into the room by his shirt and locking the door behind her. “exactly” he replied before picking her up effortlessly and carrying her to the small couch that took up a space in the room. If there was one thing people probably didn’t know about Phil, it’s that behind closed doors he was a big softy, especially to y/n.

“I hope you know I really am sorry, I had no idea that was going to happen” he mumbled as one hand rested on her hip and the other slowly moved to her lower back. “hey it’s okay, it’s part of the job” she smiled softly, her hands roaming his body ever so gently. “I know but you shouldn’t of gotten hit like that, it could of caused serious damage and I just.. I don’t know what i would’ve done-” his voice almost shaking as he thought about what could of happened if things had gone worse. Y/n carefully moved her hands to his face, carefully resting on both his cheeks, “phil.. love.. i’m okay, i’m right here and that’s all that matters” she hummed looking at him solemnly - her heart speeding up just looking at him.

“alright.. I trust you, but i will get drew back for what he did, that’s a promise”. A smile grew on y/ns face hearing his words, she could not get over how much Phil loved her, that he’d do just about anything for her even though he knew damn well she could stand up for herself. “I appreciate that babe, you’re the best” she laughed lightly, “i have no doubt in my mind you’ll get him back and I simply cannot wait to see it”.

The tension in the room slowly rising as y/n moved her hands to Punks Hair, running her fingers through it softly before tightening her grip on it slightly to tug on it. This action earning a slight groan from the heavily tattooed superstar, “However, your pay back can wait.. I think I know what will make us both feel better, hm?” she whispered as she placed gentle kisses to his neck and up towards his jaw.

Soft groans continued to leave Punks lips as his eyes remained locked on hers, “oh yeah you want to show me exactly what that is?” he smirked running his hands up her body stopping right under her breasts. “I think that could be arranged” she shifted so she was properly straddling him, “You only get a preview though, and then the full thing comes after i win my match tonight” she grinned running her thumb across his jaw, both their eyes locked on one another full of lust.

“mm I can agree to that, IF you get cleared.. but either way i’m taking good care of you love” he hummed running his hands under her shirt while keeping his gaze fixed on her, “oh yeah? that’s if I don’t care for you first” she challenged with with a bright smile. A few seconds passed and Punk picked the smaller woman up and smoothly flipped her over so he was now hovering over her gently, a loud squeal followed by sweet laughter erupting from her lips at the sudden action. I think we can all guess that probably wasnt the only noise coming from the room that night.

“I’ve got you” he whispered lovingly, “in and outside of the ring.. i’ve got you, nobody gets away with hurting you like that” their foreheads pressed gently against one another.

[silverhart-makes-art]

This week's Bestiary Posting is a whole menagerie of mammals. Again, labeled version and short descriptions of my thoughts below.

Shmeashagg - needed to be mottled, I also gave it giant claws on it's forepaws so it can "kill at a single bound". Trying to make it look like it could be the parent of a leopard while trying to make it less lion-like. Goggaerker - a bit more of a dynamic pose of it being stuck in a bush; saw-tooth horns, and big fuzzy ears. Brotkarske - a tiny goat with a markhor-style horn, and long legs Revklogwat - I decided to draw a bird since it's feathered and has wings, but I turned it's wings into forelegs. I also gave it ear tufts like a praire chicken, because they're one of my favorites. Shrobshong - was trying to think how horns are supposed to protect you from falling. I went with big curling ibex horns so the animal can never land on it's head and die. Rest of the animal was a combo of a bull and a takin, with a big nose to warm the air up in it's mountain home. Biklanokyo - this one really turned out looking like an alien. Went with a pose/body reminiscent of a horse. Since it needed to carry a huge horn it needed a think neck, and of course, elephant feet and a deer tail Nutogsheag - I don't know where I was going with this one. Just slapped all the mentioned features on it and gave it a long neck for fun. It's got weird protruding cheek bones like an entelodont, or a warthog, but I don't know why - that's just what I was feeling. Raenwegguk - when I thought of animals that embody wildness to me, especially those found in forests, I thought of wild boar and wolves. Smush the two together and add some extra tusks and you get this noble fellow. Klosweisht - originally meant it to be a sort of hyena-like beast, and some of that is still there, but the mention of horns made me redraw the head and legs as more gazelle-like. It's terrifying when it opens it's mouth and I love it. Kregichmon - pouring through the 'what animal groups haven't I drawn' I happened on 'giraffe-moose with bull horns'. Thokragosk - just a puny little friend. Based on a rodent, but the face turned out a little more like a raccoon, which is cute. Kamyaweneg - just a weird little mole. I had the marsupial mole in mind with their weird fleshy snout and sort of extended it into a helmet for this little guy. I know it doesn't have eyes, but I put a dot where I thought an eye would be, because otherwise it's hard to even figure out what this thing is. Moles are just weird. Extremely successful, but weird. Ghrastasag - so the rest of these are primates and I'm gonna be honest: I don't like drawing non-human primates. Even humans-primates tend to be low on the 'things i love to draw' list. So we're gonna have a lot of sketchy stuff heavily relying on references for these last critters. The lack of real description beyond 'ape' for these also is not helping. Ghrastasag is just a fuzzy baboon. Rigfengtog - another baboon, but this one's showing off it's fangs and is significantly less fuzzy. Ngibealgul - a shaggy gorilla creature. This one looks very thoughtful and solemn for some reason. Gerskatrea - these apes are said to have attractive faces, and the two most attractive primates I thought of off the top of my head, are the mandrill and the emperor tamarin. Hence, mandrill with a mustache. No one can resist a curly mustache. Maerdradli - I was pretty burned out at this point so... more of a doodle then anything, but it's an ape, and it's got a beard, and a fat tail, and I also gave it a droopy mustache because I felt bad for it.

[danco110]

Aetherdrift spoilers ahead (reaction to part 2 of the planeswalker’s guide). Again, warning: uninformed, incendiary rant stuff at the end!

- As mentioned previously, I CALLED IT! It sounds like Amonkhet’s Eternals are also self-aware, albeit in supporting a…villainous faction maybe? But I’d like to wait until reading the story proper before making a judgement on the Chitin Court.

- YES! Talking about trade, commerce, folk just getting along! Ties into my maintaining that the planes are more than just eternal conflict, or at least beyond what we see in the main story chapters!

- I hope we see some more Avishkar angels! Pretty unique look, with the pink and silver…oh yeah and the four arms! Inventions that also invent and all that! Awww, and the art for Dawnfeather Eagle…falconer angels, I hope we get a callback to that!

-So, Sab-Sunen purified the Luxa and helped restore some of Naktamun’s former greenery. The water part interests me, but maybe not for the reasons you’d think; this may be a longshot, but I seem to recall Imoti’s legendary blurb mentioning purifying water, but not where she hailed from. I wonder whether she’ll get a card, indicating she’s from here?

- Saurids! You look awesome. You ride dinosaurs. AND. you’re into oozes. And that last point - I will always prefer Gruul…nature-ish types…to Selesnya! Yknow, nature’s got some mud and slime in it, embrace it! And though nothing will ever truly fill the hole in my heart where the viashino creature type used to be, I still welcome you with open arms!

- On the topic of Muraganda, the plane just sounds cool! Moonfall instead of starfall, gorilla druids, and home of the Mimeoplasm apparently! Also, it’s kinda nice to read about some folks there fighting back against land developers wanting to put a racetrack right out there behind their backyard. “This here’s 1240 Telu-Set Vista. It’s always been 1240 Telu-Set Vista!”

The bad:

- It talked about Avishkar setting itself up as a multiversal power…Look, I can guess that’s setting up a hook for a future set or story beat, and I do like the plane’s aesthetic and want to see more of it! But the Omenpaths are just uninteresting to me. It’s not like I couldn’t - or didn’t…I mean I did - write planar crossovers before MOM. Yet it looks like everything’s going by way of portals now. Which leaves planeswalkers…where, exactly? And adding onto that, what will the Aethersark do for Nissa that a portal won’t?

- Muraganda feels stapled-on at the end, to me. Maybe it’s because it’s the last leg…or yknow, the turnaround point. And if I’m reading it right, racers will only cross the plane once, as opposed to Avishkar and Amonkhet’s return trips. Which is a shame! Because as mentioned, I love how Muraganda looks! Or maybe because it’s getting its official intro in a sillier set? Idk

- Ok this is pedantic beyond measure (unlike the rest of this criticism, right?) but, “On Amonkhet, unlike many planes, the barrier between life and death is slim and defined more by class than metaphysical or ontological factors.” Excuse me! Innistrad and its Crimson Court vampiric aristocracy. Ravnica and the blue-collar Golgari. Zendikar with zombie thralls. Tarkir with both Sultai and Silumgar’s…zombie thralls also. And Ravnica again, with the Orzhov! The list goes on, but you get the point! “Unlike many planes,” come on now.

- Nature plane, leyline geysers, leyline mages…I don’t even like Nissa all that much and I still wish she were here to see Muraganda! Or well, maybe she will be, idk. But since she’s not racing, I don’t know what the odds are she’ll get to be there in person?

[mentallyilllagomorph]

I will never get to draw this be cause I have no time nor much skill. So I choose to be a script writer for whoever wants this.

Say for the sake of argument Sam and Max is shared in the same 90s fox universe as the Super Mario Bros Super Show. John could very well be the tv version of king koopa for no reason beyond an accident in flordia. It's Christmas and John promised to visit his family in new york. Rather than reschedule, John Koopa comes to New York with princess toadstool in tow after a successful kidnapping.

Title page:

Narration bubble: Apparently Sam and Max wanted to throw a nice christmas party for their close friends and family. It could happen! If Sybil planned it.... Okay they might have been planning to crash Sybil's Christmas party at the Lincoln-Pandemik estate.

Either way, wanting to spend holiday with their children, Sam and Max planned to meet up with and have an early light dinner with the kids at Stinky's diner!

Scene: Sam, max, Sam jr., and Geek are already waiting and arguing about what to order. Grandpa stinky is in his gorilla form, standing by with a note pad.

Geek: So John really asked to bring a date? I had assumed he was asexual since the rest of us are all different spectrums of asexual.

Sam: Keep an open mind, it's the 90s again, hetronormativity is fashionable right now.

Max: Ignoring beastiality or specism.

Scene: John bursts in with 1990 Princess Toadstool and shuffles her over to the table, shuffling her inbetween himself and Geek. None of them comment on the ropes and instead casually greet her.

Geek: What's your name?

Max: Where ya from?

Sam: What's your blood type?

Princess Toadstool: *bewildered and struggling in ropes* Why are you all okay with this monster kidnapping me?!

Geek: *shrugging* My dads have kidapped, illegally detained, and led to the mysterious disappearances, of so many unimportant side characters over the years, both past and post, i'd just be glad my brother was excited to bring you to christmas dinner. You're then guaranteed to make it to the end of the episode.

Scene: Toadstood scrambles from her bindings and grabs a knife to try and stab John when Max slows her efforts with a tazer leveled to her temple.

Max: My husband said he wanted a bloodless christmas.

Background bubble: *love sick sounds*

John: Where'd you get that?

Max: None of yer dam business.

Sam: Marsupial little guy

Scene: Toadstool sits down and stinky serves dinner. It's completely inedible.

Princess Toadstool: where am I?

Max: New york. *Digs into meal like a feral beast*

Princess Toadstool: *perks up* Oh Mario has told me lots about new york! Are we in the brook of land?

Sam: No, east Manhattan.

Princess Toadstool: Oh so we can see the Queens?

Geek: Nah, we don't need tires.

Scene: Toadstool looks a little sad, Sam Jr. Comes close to express her sympathies. Max pauses and leans over with a wide smile and renewed intrest.

Max: Wait, so you're not from america?

Princess Toadstool: No?

Max: Then its a pleasure to intolerance (sam:"introduce," max:'gusuntheight') myself to your filthy illegal immigrant self, I am Max President of the United States Of America and-

Geek: Wait no Max it's the 90s remember? Bush hasn't even started a war yet.

Max: Oh right. Wait. How's stinky a monkey then?

*distant mariachi noises*

Sam Jr.: its best not to think on it dad.

Scene: Everyone introduces themselves to Princess Toadstool by their brand safe titles before turning to John and asking what he has been up to. He tells an altered tale of his battles (on tv) with mario.

John: and my kidnapping- my sudden vacation with the Princess Toadstool here is to show her how I'm a soft heart who came from the honest means of a family of police, and how much I care about family, so she will sign this document drafted by (best lawyer) to hand over the kingdom in the same manner as Max sold Sybil the United States when she was acting Queen of Canada. *big grin*

Princess Toadstool: wont work.

Geek: *doesnt believe him and gives over complicated scientific explination for John's experience*

John: *teasing* "This is the 90s dont think on it too hard."

Scene: Everyone finishes their meal and they go to leave, but as they get outside Mario and Luigi arrive and in a confusing fight take toadstool, The Geek and Samantha (in geeks pocket) get "rescued" and whisked away with the Mario Bros "back" to the mushroom kingdom. Mario and Luigi can't believe that geek is John's sister and shows her around the kingdom as a new friend who may settle. They even give them a gender neutral royal outfit.

Scene: By the next day a letter arrives from king koopa.

Letter: "Please return Geek, if they arent returned unharmed, (or returned harmed, or arent returned at all. Basically we want the geek, we'll take harmed but unharmed avoids the punishment)*all in small font to the side* in the next 24 hours... I King John Koopa will not be held responsible for my father's natural ability to unhinge his jaw and how he chooses to use it. Good luck."

Geek: it's not a bluff.

Luigi:*shaking* I believes her.

Mario: it probably is the right thing to return a child to her parents.

Greek: *bristles as she is shorter than mario* I am somewhere between 14 - 40! I am Hardly a child.

Scene: Sam and Max cause mayhem. John is a cartoony villian with his back up of koopa troopas all shouting for their Princ/ess Gugenheek.

Toad: *shouts* We will never surrender Princess Toadstool!

John: *also shouts* I don't give a Goomba's miniature glazed mcguffin about that illiteration illiterate folical fungus. were here for the prince/ess of the Koopa Kingdom Gugenheek, MY sibling.

Toad: NO ONE as pretty as the princess could be related to such beasts.

Max: I personally thought I was soft and marketable.

Sam: Didn't they recently release plushies of both of us?

Max:They made your tummy extra soft.

Sam: How would you know?

Max: *whisper*It's almost Christmas dear.

Scene: Toad still objects so Max takes a bite of him and toad shrieks. Its just a hat but could you imagine! Geek comes out and runs to her family.

The Mario Bros Apologize and John forgives begrudgingly but wants something in return.

Geek: No need, already took care of that. *hands john a document giving him the eastern dark forest of the mushroom kingdom. He is ecstatic and the mario brothers look confused but it's the dark forest so who cares. Boo filled area anyway.*

Scene: Everyone leaves in smiles, waving goodbye as the head into the distance... Until Princess Toadstool runs down the stairs of her palace shouting that the geek forged her signature and left a note "barrowing" her royal seal for that gift.

John: *shouts* "NO BACKSISIZYS!!" *shoves everyone into the clown copter before flying away.*

End.

[bananacorn-limeade]

1961's The WORLD of ICE and FIRE

I'm going to do it. I'm going to self-indulge!

The Roger Corman ASOIAF production post is mostly just a novelty, but since I'm me, I have a lot of FEELINGS and OPINIONS about this cast. Naturally.

Anyway. Here's how well I think the actors in my post would play their roles, from worst to best.

#19, Worst: John Ashley as Robb Stark

You know how Ben Affleck has a face that knows about emails? John Ashley has a face that knows about sock hops. Woefully miscast.

#18: Tor Johnson as Gregor Clegane

God love the big guy, but I've only ever seen him make this face. Also, despite his repertoire of roles suggesting otherwise on paper, he just doesn't seem like a mean guy.

#17: John Agar as Jaime Lannister

Another terrible choice. The only reason he's not ranked as worst is because his soulless performance would make viewers interpret Jaime as an absolutely irredeemable sociopath, which at least would be... uh, interesting, I guess.

#16 Robert Reed as Renly Baratheon

Renly, but only if he was the most boring Baratheon. Go ahead, try to picture Reed eating a peach. You can't.

#15 Dawn Bender as Arya Stark

Aw, she'd try. But I feel like her attempts at Arya's fire would mostly come off as petulance.

#14 Richard Carlson as Ned Stark

Sorry, what? I fell asleep for a minute there.

#13 June Kenney as Daenerys Targaryen

Kenney would try her level best, but you know Corman would do a terrible job incorporating her storyline with the main plot, so she wouldn't have much to do except lounge around on mildly offensive orientalist sets and talk to her force-perspective dragon puppets. (Stop-motion you say? What, you think American International is made of money?)

#12 Dolores Faith as Sansa Stark

Again, no knock to Faith, but as with Daenerys, I think a 1961 production would flatten Sansa's character away to nothing. She'd get to pine and wear some nice dresses.

#11 Anthony Dexter as Petyr Baelish

This guy can play oily like nobody's business (check him out in 1962's Married Too Young), but 5D-chess-level deviousness might be beyond him.

#10 Michael Dunn as Tyrion Lannister

Full disclosure: I'm plopping him in the middle because I've never seen him in anything! The only little person I've personally seen in Corman's movies is Billy Barty (playing an actual, literal imp), and Dunn was someone I found who was said to play much meatier roles. In general, I think the depth of Tyrion's character would seriously challenge 1960s casting directors who were used to casting little people in jokey roles or as something less than human. One of many problems they'd have with the source material, no doubt.

#9 Lon Cheney Jr. as Sandor Clegane

Here's another actor who would do the best with what he was given - which would be an essentially empty role. This Sandor would be a beast used only for jump scares, with too much rubber over his face to ever show an emotion.

#8 Glen Langan as Stannis Baratheon

Langan would be serious, but dull, with lots of droning sermonizing. In other words, perfect. Still boring though.

#7 Basil Rathbone as Tywin Lannister

Who better to play a role totally owned by Charles Dance than an actor who's even Charles Dancier? The only reason I'm not ranking this legend higher is because I do think he'd kind of sleepwalk through this role, especially at this stage in his career.

#6 Raymond Burr as Robert Baratheon

The future Mr. Perry Mason was damn good at playing hard-drinking, prowly, "beastly" men. See him in this fabulous trailer for 1951's Bride of the Gorilla (spoiler: Burr is the gorilla). Of course, for this production, he'd be about 10 years on from that virile role, but that's perfectly on brand for Bobby B.

#5 Michael Landon as Jon Snow

Landon's tortured James Dean era would be a great fit for angsty goth teen Jon, though he might have trouble keeping his feelings as hidden as Jon does.

#4 Allison Hayes as Melisandre

Should she be ranked this high? Eh, maybe not, but this woman is a goddamn B-movie bombshell goddess. Her Red Woman would be a little less mysterious, sure, but her perfectly arched eyebrows and bullet bra would do R'hllor proud all the same.

#3 Marie Windsor as Catelyn Stark

They didn't call her Queen of the B's for nothing. Windsor always did great with roles that call for strength and verve. She'd be a fantastic Cat, and - dare I dream it - an even better Lady Stoneheart.

#2 Jack Nicholson as Theon Greyjoy

Now this would be fun. If baby Jack Nicholson had half the presence and charisma he would show in later movies, his Theon would be legendary.

#1 Coleen Gray as Cersei Lannister

If I can get Tumblr to understand one thing, it's how much Coleen Gray would absolutely eat in the role of Cersei. She's beautiful. She's a schemer. She's a helpless victim. She's back for revenge. I challenge anyone to watch her insane, murderous, fierce, gorgeous, duplicitous performance in 1960's otherwise pretty terrible The Leech Woman and not come to the same conclusion. I'm serious. There would be no survivors. 👑

[fantasyismyonlyrealescape]

Title: A Discussion Turned Confession (in Love)

Characters: Sami Zayn & Jey Uso (SamiJey)

Fandom: WWE (Professional Wrestling)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 3043

A/N: Hello and welcome to another story of mine that was planned to be one thing and went in the complete opposite direction! I saw that in Saudi, Jey walked out to his dark match wearing a keffiyeh and that is where this idea arose. I wanted to delve into the moment where Sami gave Jey the keffiyeh, a sort of behind the scenes what-if scenario. So, that is what we have here. I will say right now that the translations are likely terribly incorrect, and I apologize in advance. I tried my best with phrases that I could find online. Nevertheless, I do hope you enjoy my take on this. I will caution you that the rating of teen and up audiences is due to some very mild SamiJey. It’s completely PG-13, but I still wanted to rate it as such. Translations into English are available in the end A/N. Enjoy!

Summary: Sami Zayn publicly turned down Jey Uso’s offer for Sami to come to Smackdown, to talk to Roman Reigns and see if they could work out their differences. Afterwards, Jey goes off to find Sami in a desperate attempt to convince him to give Roman a second chance. The discussion soon turns into a conversation of a different kind, a confession spoken in more than just words and by the time Jey leaves Sami’s locker room, he can no longer consider Sami a “friend”.

Cross posted on AO3 under user wrestlinginjeans.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60604429

Jey Uso followed his brother as Jimmy tore his way through the curtain back into Gorilla and the hallway beyond. Sami had long disappeared up the ramp by the time the twins made their way back to Gorilla following their Monday Night Raw segment together in the ring. Tension, anger and frustration were coming off the older twin in waves causing Jey to eye his brothers back wearily.

“How couldya go out there and be talkin’ to him, Uce?” Jimmy growled, not even bothering to turn around and look at his brother as he stalked forward ahead of Jey. He knew his brother was following behind him as he continued to bombard his younger brother with his reasoning for why they can’t trust Sami. “He ain’t family, leave him out of this.”

Jey shook his head at his brother’s comments, not bothering to respond. He wasn’t going to be able to convince Jimmy anyway, he knew that. When his brother got like this, he knew that it was best to leave him alone to cool off.

“You listenin’ to me, Uce?” Jimmy asked with a note of frustration leaking into his voice, turning to glare back over his shoulder at Jey.

“Yeah, Uce. I be listening…” Jey responded in a flat tone in an effort to placate his brother, glancing to his right and left as they crossed an intersection between hallways hoping to catch a glimpse of red hair. He knew he needed an out, a way to get his brother off his back so that Jimmy could cool off and Jey could try and sort this mess out.

After a moment longer of following his brother, he slowed his pace slightly and took to rolling his right shoulder, reaching across his body with his other arm and pressing his left hand to said shoulder. Jimmy, having sensed that his brother was not following behind him as he had been, turned and started to make his way back to Jey with a look of confusion.

“What you doing?” Jimmy questioned, his eyes moving between Jey’s shoulder and his face.

“I gotta head to the trainers, tweaked my shoulder in the match last night.” Jey stated quietly, not quite looking at his brother as he rolled his shoulder again.

“You have another match tonight, Uce… Why didn’t ya get this looked at earlier?”

“It wasn’t a priority, I’m fine. I gotta go though, go back to the locker room. I’ll meet you there after my match, Uce.” Jey asserted, attempting to brush his brother’s concern off.

Jimmy took a step towards his twin, his eyes raking over his brother’s face. Jey caught a glance of his brother’s eyes as they looked him over, an unreadable expression within their depths that worried Jey that his twin would call him out, call his bluff. He narrowly avoided breathing in a sigh of relief as Jimmy shook his head and let out an audible exhale of his own.

“Yeah, okay Uce… I be seeing you later. Get fixed up…” Jimmy grumbled, scrubbing his hand across his face as he turned away from his brother and walked away.

Jey waited until his brother was out of sight before dropping his hand from his shoulder. He wasn’t being completely untruthful; his shoulder did hurt. But he had other plans for the time he had left before he had to be back at Gorilla for his dark match. Turning away from the hallway his brother was retreating down; it didn’t take him long to find his way back to the hallway that housed most of the Raw roster’s locker rooms. He wasn’t entirely sure if Sami had a room to himself or if he was in the main locker room, but his question was answered a moment later when his eyes found the name plate on the door he was walking past.

Pausing in front of the door, he took a deep breath to steel himself for what was bound to come before rapping his tan knuckles against the stained wood.

Jey heard a slightly muffled “come in” from the inside of the room and pushed the door open a crack at the invitation.

“Hey, Uce… Can we talk?” Jey asked tentatively, poking his head through the door but not walking into the room yet. He wasn’t sure where he stood in Sami’s life after the previous few weeks between all of Jey’s time on Smackdown and his comments to Sami on Raw the previous Monday. He just hoped that Sami would hear him out.

Sami had his back turned, hunched over slightly as he sorted through his gear bag sitting on the bench in front of him but at the sound of Jey’s voice he turned around. After taking a moment to study the visitor with an unreadable expression, he nodded slightly.

“Yeah, Jey… Come on in.”

The door had shut behind him before Jey spoke again.

“Uce… Look, what you said out there tonight—.” Jey begins, gesturing with his hand in the general direction of where the ring was set up.

“—was all true, Jey. I went out there at Crown Jewel for you.” Sami cuts him off, needing Jey to know it wasn’t all an act, it was his way of showing Jey that there was more than one way to go about this, more than one path to take to support his family while supporting himself too. “Look, I understand your obligation to your family, but you need to look after yourself too… I love you, man. I don’t want to see you become what you were before…” Sami added, trailing off before he dwelled too much on their shared tumultuous history. Some memories were better off in the past.

Jey meanwhile was caught up on one particular detail, three seemingly purposeful words towards the end of Sami’s statements. Jey furrows his brow slightly at the admission; that was three now, three times in one night.

“Uce, why you keep saying that?”

“What?”

A pause as Jey looks at Sami incredulously. There was still some distance between them, with Jey lingering close to the doorway and Sami standing by his gear bag.

“I love you…” Jey reiterates the last part of Sami’s statement. “Why you keep saying that?”

Sami’s body language changes then, his eyes falling away from Jey’s as he clenches and unclenches his fists several times before taking to rubbing his hands together in front of him.

“Why are you here, Uce?” Sami inquired quietly; his eyes directed downward at his hands. The conversation had taken a turn, a turn into a topic that Sami didn’t want to address at the moment. “You’ve got a match tonight; you should be getting ready…”

“I came here to talk to you, to talk about what ya said out there ‘night… Are you coming to Smackdown on Friday?”

“No, Uce.”

“Why?”

“I already told you… I can’t do this again, not even for you.”

Sami turns away from Jey then, running a hand through his hair before busying his hands in his gear bag once again. Jey knew Sami better than most, he didn’t want to have this discussion, but he would make damn sure that they did. Striding over to the bench, he rounds the side and places himself directly in front of Sami, the bench and gear bag between them. The unspoken words hung in the space between, Sami didn’t want to have to go through watching one of his closest friends change, to watch as he pushed him away again. He couldn’t, wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t put up with the abuse, the pain, the manipulation and most of all he couldn’t stand, and watch Jey take it. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from intervening and that would only earn them both a beating from the rest of the Bloodline, if Roman had indeed not changed with Sami suspected. Sami’s sentiments, the ones that Jey could hear loud and clear even without being spoken, were Jey’s own fears for Sami too. Jey hoped that he would be able to protect him and Jimmy.

“Uce, ya gotta come. Please, I need you to come.”

“Why? You’ve got your family back, for better or for worse. You don’t need me. Jey… I can’t—.”

“I do. You family too, I said that in the ring, and I mean it. It wasn’t for show. My family won’t be back together and whole until we get Solo back and you.”

Jey could see Sami working his jaw, a telltale sign in the redhead when he was upset about something, a habit that Jey had picked up on early in their friendship.

“Look, Sami. I gotta go back to them because they need me. I don’t got much going for me now on Raw, I lost my title… But you are still on Raw. You are all I got left here.” Jey sighs, reaching out tentatively to brush his fingertips against Sami’s shoulder. “And I don’t want ta lose you, Uce…” Jey adds quietly, the oppressing silence of the locker room prevailing in the space between them. “Sami, just please come on Friday. Do it for me… Because I love you too.”

Sami’s eyes, having moved to Jey’s hand as his fingertips, made contact with the black fabric of his hoodie, dart to Jey’s eyes at the end of the statement. As questioning hazel eyes find confident dark brown, a small playful smile comes to the face of Jey.

“What? You think I forgot whatcha said earlier? Nah, I know you better. I knew what you meant then. Truth is, I’ve known for a while just with the way you’ve been actin’ around me… It just took me some time to figure out how I felt too. Truth is, I’ve been in love with you for a long time, Sami…”

Jey watched as Sami’s eyes widened at the explanation, his previously fidgeting hands stilling as he sucks in a breath. He was speechless, Jey had rendered Sami speechless, a feat within itself. Sami couldn’t believe what was taking place, what Jey had just said so openly.

Before Sami could collect himself, Jey stepped over the bench in one fluid motion and the two men were now on the same side. Jey moved closer, backing Sami up into the row of lockers that comprised one side of the room. As the cold metal pressed into Sami’s back, Jey’s eyes hold a question as they dart between the redhead’s lips and his hazel eyes.

“Sami?” Jey questioned quietly, taking a step away from the redhead after a few moments pass of silence. He needed to know if Sami wanted this. “Are you—.”

Jey was rapidly cut off as a hand reached forward, wrapping pale fingers around the front of his t-shirt, pulling him back in towards the redhead. In the short distance between, their chests close to touching and their breath intermingling, Sami leaned forward and brought his lips to Jey’s own, a gentle brush of contact before pulling back.

“You don’t even want to know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.” Sami whispered, bringing his hand up to brush the side of Jey’s face as a small smile comes to his features. A moment passes, before Jey is pushing Sami up against the metal wall again and chasing Sami’s lips back to his own, pressing his lips firmly against Sami’s. Sami’s hand drops from Jey’s face, taken aback by the fierceness of the slightly taller man. The kiss deepens after a few moments by Jey’s hand, and Sami cannot help but let out a small sound of surprise at the intensity and passion of it all, bringing his hand up again to tangle in Jey’s short black hair as Jey does the same with Sami’s own.

They remain this way, bodies pressed together until they have to break apart for breath. As they break the kiss, they remain as close as they can with Jey leaning in to press his forehead against Sami’s own.

“The irony of this situation is not lost on me, Jey…” Sami babbled quietly after several moments, trying his best to equalize his breathing between harsh breaths. “We had to come halfway across the world to express our feelings?”

Jey couldn’t help but grin at that, leaning in to brush his lips once again against Sami’s slightly chapped ones before pulling back and reluctantly taking half a step away from Sami.

“We go all out, what can I say?” Jey exclaimed happily, his grin brightening into a full-on smile as he takes in Sami’s state, the state that he had caused Sami to be in. His normally pale cheeks were flushed a rosy color, his bright red hair disheveled in some places from the Samoan’s fingers. He figured his appearance was much the same, the lingering feeling of Sami’s fingertips digging into his scalp still apparent. He held onto that feeling, held onto the glorious view of Sami in front of him now. He needed it and so much more, but he knew now was not the time.

“Sami…” Jey begins, reaching towards Sami and taking one of his hands in his own, intertwining their fingers together. “I gotta go…” Jey sighed, the reluctance clear in his voice. He wanted to stay, live in this moment forever just the two of them, but he had a match to get to. Jey’s fingers squeeze Sami’s hand once before he loosens his grip and goes to turn away only for Sami to stop him by tightening his grip on Jey’s hand.

“Wait, Jey.” Sami calls, causing the Samoan to turn back towards him. Jey watches as Sami brings their joined hands up, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Jey’s hand before untangling their fingers and moving his hands up to the back of his own neck in order to undo his keffiyeh.

Jey’s expression is one of confusion, watching Sami’s nimble fingers unwrap the piece of red and white checkered cloth with care and reverence. The cloth is soon off his neck and being held between Sami’s two hands. Sami glances down at it before looking up to catch Jey’s eye.

“Would you—. Would you like to wear this tonight?”

Jey’s immediate reaction is a bright smile, feeling honored beyond words that Sami would ask. Jey knew how much Sami valued his culture, his heritage, and his faith. To offer for Jey to wear a small piece of what made Sami who he was, the Sami who he loved, was an incredible feeling.

“Course, Sami…” Jey agrees, unable to keep the influx of emotion from his voice as he answered. Sami smile brightened, as he brought the keffiyeh up to Jey’s neck and began to wrap it carefully, starting with the cloth already in a triangle and wrapping one of the shorter ends around his neck. Sami’s deft fingers make quick work of the process. Jey breathes in the closeness of Sami and the residual body heat that is still present on the scarf, his mind drifting back momentarily to the time in Tribal Court when he gave Sami his red flower lei. As Sami’s fingers come around to tie the knot in the back, Jey is brought back into the present with an involuntarily shiver as the Syrian-Canadian’s pale fingertips brush against Jey’s neck. Sami smiles at the reaction from the dark-haired man, bringing his hands back to the front of Jey in order to arrange the fabric evenly in the middle of Jey’s chest. After a few moments of fiddling, he placed his hand flat on the scarf that Jey was now wearing and moved his gaze up to meet Jey’s.

“Laayeg ʒalaik, Jey…” Sami compliments, his tone teasing as he removes his hand and places it on the side of Jey’s face instead. “Alan sayakun al’amr kama law kunt hunak maeka…”

“What did you say, Sami?” Jey queried, cocking his head slightly at the playful tone of the redhead as he brings his tan hand up to cover Sami’s hand on his face.

Without answering him, Sami leans forward and kisses Jey gently before pulling back and giving him a teasing smile.

“I just said that it looks good on you.”

“There’s no way that’s all you said, Sami!”

“That���s all that you need to know!” Sami teases, reluctant to let Jey go.

“E toalua e mafai ona taaalo i lenei taaloga, Sami.”

“Is that Samoan?” Sami questioned exasperatedly, prompting Jey to nod. “Oh, come on, Jey!”

“You started it.” Jey stated plainly and Sami couldn’t argue with that.

Sami shakes his head fondly at the banter, dropping his hand from Jey’s face as they take a few steps towards the door together before tugging on Jey’s hand to turn him back around and bring him back in towards him.

“Sami!” Jey laughs, his whimsical tone like music to Sami’s ears as he shakes his head. “I have ta go… I wouldn’t if I didn’t have ta, but I do—.”

“Yes.”

Jey furrows his brow, a look of confusion in his eyes and on his face as he looks at Sami.

“Whatcha mean by “yes”?”

“Yes, I’ll be at Smackdown on Friday.”

The smile that lights up Jey’s face at the answer to his question makes Sami feel weightless for a moment. A smile, the rare kind that Jey had let Sami start seeing only after their embrace at Survivors Series 2022 in Boston.

“Thanks, Uce. I knew you would!”

“You kissing me had a lot to do with it.”

Jey shakes his head, laughing.

“You have to go, or they’ll start looking for you.” Sami sighs, sobering up for a moment,

“I know…” Jey agrees, tightening his hold ever so slightly on Sami’s hand as they continue their walk towards the door together. Upon making it to their intended destination, Jey stops and turns back around to look at Sami. “I be seeing you after my match?”

“Of course, Jey.” Sami promises, releasing Jey’s hand as Jey placed his other hand on the door handle to pull the door open. As Jey steps through the threshold, Sami adds under his breath so that only Jey could hear, “Always…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arabic and Samoan Translations:

Laayeg ʒalaik, Jey…” – “It looks good on you, Jey…”

“Alan sayakun al’amr kama law kunt hunak maeka…” – “Now it’ll be like I’m out there with you…”

“E toalua e mafai ona taaalo i lenei taaloga, Sami.” – “Two can play this game, Sami.”

A/N: Hey, you made it and will you look at that! I can actually write romance. If a kiss could be considered writing romance. Haha, look imma pat myself on the back here because the tiny bit of romance in here (kissing) is never something that I’ve attempted to write before. But this story went off the rails and I figured “why not now?”. I also recently connected with someone who said I should try my hand at it, as well as another friend who has constantly supported me, so I wanted to try it. I appreciate everyone who got to this point, kudos to you all! Thank you for supporting me. Cheers to you wherever you are in this wide world and bye for now!

[timeforaciggy]

Jerma x reader request

Reader and jerma go to the record store together and he is too embarrassed to buy his favorite gorillas record infront of reader

Feel free to change it up to make it more cutsy if needed

💿📀💿

A/N:

okay. so first jerma fic. not a great writer to begin with, but I had some (a lot) absolut vodka and just started hitting my keyboard with ideas and made this.

Anon, thank you for requesting this and also please let me know if you end up liking this or not. Your feedback is really helpful and appreciated. Never wrote about him before and want to make sure I’m doing this idea and him justice. (be as honest as you can, I promise my feelings won’t be hurt. As you can MAYBE TELL, I’m a new(er) viewer and don’t want to fuck it up, and if I did, I’d be happy to rewrite it)

Also I’m sorry it’s long, I hope that’s okay!

-tfac <333

!Songs to listen to while reading (and were played while writing)! :

The Blonde - TV Girl ((highly recommend, background vibe created by this song))

On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz

It was your idea to go to a local record store after you were surprised by a beyond thoughtful Christmas gift from him earlier that holiday. He’d gotten you a new record player- not only new but a good one.

Your heart melted when you opened the wrapping paper to see that he’d gone so out of his way to get you something special and significant to you. You had an extensive collection of records from your favorite bands, even limited editions and pressings with incredible designs and colors. He thought it was so precious that you would show them to him. He’d sit there listening to you and looking at each one with a smile on his face. Whenever he’d stop in your office and both of you would fall into a rabbit hole of music, he’d always had remembered that when you would take them out, you wished you could play them, but you never did- you were too worried your old record player would scratch them and ruin them.

The mental note he took from that months ago leading up to the gift was so thoughtful. He hadn’t asked you about it or hinted at anything regarding it. He wanted it to be a good surprise. And it most definitely was. He spent a lengthy amount of time looking into ‘what the best record player was’, and especially the most reliable one, not wanting your records to get ruined. Just wanting you to finally be able to play them without worry; finally being able to just simply enjoy the music you loved so much.

After your excitement opening his gift and him setting it up with a good speaker, (and telling you “babe, let me do it I’m an expert, I promise.” sarcastically.) You’d started playing them all.

Over the days and months that would pass, he loved hearing your music echo throughout the house. No matter what he was doing, even while just on his computer and catching up on work, any small inconvenience would disappear as he listened to the sound of your favorite songs start playing. It made him smile ear to ear. Every single time.

And although he wasn’t much into music himself,

he was very much into yours.

After a while you’d asked while out on a random excursion in Vegas if you could stop by a record store and pick up some new stylus’ for the record player. He was more than happy to go with you and also explore the store with you as you both looked around. The amount of records was overwhelming to him as he browsed, so he went looking for what he really only knew well. Meanwhile, you went up to the store owner and asked for the specific part you were looking for.

After finding the replacement needed, you turn to see him flicking through the records absentmindedly. That was until he made it to the ‘G’ section and after moving a couple records you can see his hand stop. Pulling his other hand out of his pocket to reach out to pull the record out of the box.

You can see he’s holding a Gorrilaz album and you watch as he looks at it, flipping it over and reading the tracklist. His face in practical awe of his favorite albums of all time.

“Hey, whatchya find?” You ask him curiously

“Oh it’s- they have a Gorillaz album or two” he turns and replies but almost immediately stopping himself from trying to sound too excited.

“Did you, uh find the stylus?” He asks changing the subject.

“Yeah, I did I bought a couple replacements just in case.” You say smiling

“Awesome, where to next?” He asks smiling at you

“Well hold on. What about the Gorillaz album? Don’t you want it?” Asking him sincerely

“Oh uh- nah” he says casually. “Just checking out the artwork.” He adds while looking away.

His face is burning. And he’s praying you don’t notice.

But of course you do. You just don’t let him know it.

You don’t completely understand his reluctance to share something like an album with you. But knowing he isn’t that into music- you chalk it up to being maybe something he just didn’t want to open up to you about yet. It is sort of the ‘one thing’ he doesn’t have in common with you: that being an extensive love for music.

You choose not to push it… But keep a mental note of it. It’s honestly just so cute to you. The thought of him being too embarrassed to admit he wanted the album? You can’t. It didn’t need to make sense for it to absolutely melt your heart. Something you seem to find he makes new ways of doing every second you’re with him.

As the both of you leave to head out of the store, him being a gentleman, wordlessly shows an open palm to you, gesturing towards the bag you’re holding and motions a ‘gimme gimme’ to you with a sweet little smirk. You hand it over to him with a laugh, looking up at him with a big smile and a “thank you”.

As you continue walking, his other arm follows around the back of your waist and pulls you into him as he presses his lips onto your head.

“You’re welcome, love.”

———————————————————————————

Days went by as he’d stay clueless to during that day you’d have a surprise in store for him that upcoming Valentine’s Day. You had bought him the albums while checking out of the store, asking the store owner to charge you for them then and to put them aside for you to come and pick up the following day. The owner was more than happy to do just that.

That Valentine’s Day you’d surprised him with some red wine and both took a moment to laugh realizing he did the same thing. You both gave each other a glass of the wine from the bottle you’d bought for one another and gave a sounding clink and a ‘cheers’ to each other. You had made his favorite pasta for dinner that night for the two of you. You lit some candles on the coffee table, enjoyed your pasta together, and cuddled up with him watching a movie. Both of you loving a chill romantic evening together on the couch, just watching a movie and enjoying being in one another’s arms.

As the movie finished, you decide to play blackjack together. Watching his fingers shuffle the cards you couldn’t not stop smiling at him biting his lip like he always did while he’s focusing. Resting your face against your hand you told him that you’d ‘be right back’, and ‘that this deserved some good music.’ He smiled and chuckled at you as you got up to go upstairs to your record player. He agreed and went to fill up your wine glasses.

As he’s pouring the wine he asks you ‘what’s on the track list tonight, dj?’ You had to throw your hand over your mouth to stop from laughing, trying so hard to sound serious when you replied: “Well, I was gonna play some TV Girl, but shit! I think the record player’s broken- can you help me, babe?”

As he quickly thumped up the stairs he was mentally devastated by the idea that your new record player had broken- unbeknownst to him however, you quickly put the Plastic Beach record onto the turntable, turned the player on and waited till the perfect moment for him to come in the room.

You were holding the needle ready to place it onto the already spinning record as he turned the corner into your office with two wine glasses in his hands and a concerned yet sad look on his face.

Dropping the needle onto the right track (thank god, tipsy enough that you hoped it wouldn’t land on a different track, although funny, you wanted it to be a good surprise), the record player began playing ‘On Melancholy Hill’.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at you, then around the room. Looking at the candles you had lit, his brain finally realizing what you had been up to and what he was hearing.

He couldn’t help the smile and giggle he let out.

“Really?” He asked stuck in a hilarious disbelief you went through to this sweet extent to surprise him.

“Yeah, really” you chimed back to him while chuckling.

You walked up to him and gently took the glasses out of his hands while taking a sip out of one and then placing them on your desk.

Still stuck in surprise, his eyes following you and then down to your hand that was now reached out towards him. He chuckled at you as you motioned the same ‘gimme gimme’ to him with your hand.

He slowly walked over to you reaching for your hand and paused. Looking at you as sincerely as you’ve ever seen him do. He rubs his thumb slowly across your knuckles pressing his lips to them softly. Gently pulling the same hand to move you close to him while placing it onto his shoulder in a smooth motion. Winding another arm around your waist to hold you and begin to sway you slowly, not even to the beat of the song, but to the rhythm of his absolute joy in the moment. A beat you more than happily moved to along with him as your head rests against his chest.

The two of you slow dance in each other’s arms in the dimly lit room.

The only pause was Jeremy. Stopping to look you in the eyes, dead serious, to ask: “There’s nothing actually wrong with your record player though, right?”

You can’t stop laughing at his clueless but sweet question, struggling to answer “No, there was nothing wrong with it to begin with.”

But he gets the jist as he starts laughing himself.

He continues moving with you through the laughter to dip you to your surprise, taking the moment to laugh at your surprise. Then as he brings you back up, he places a soft hand under your chin tilting your head up and slowly leaning in to kiss you softly.

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was being suddenly tipped over, but it was the sweetest, most butterfly-in-the stomach kiss you’d ever shared and it made your head swim in the best way possible.

As the night ended, you both went to bed late, you both had been too busy having fun listening to the albums you’d surprised him with, and the time spent together to care. Now in bed you both cuddled up together and before you fell asleep he pulled you closer to his chest, as he thanked you for the surprise all you could do was look up at him and tell him the same. Engulfed in his arms he rested his head on top of yours.

“I love you, y/n” he hummed into your hair

“I love you too, j” you replied wholeheartedly

Last thing you remember is him carefully adjusting himself to place a kiss on your forehead and then your lips before sighing contently and falling asleep together in his arms.

[peachjagiya]

what’s your favorite era of tkk? like when it was super young puppy love, covid/ITS, solo era etc ?

its been pretty negative on twitter and tumblr lately w there always being arguments w jkkrs and some bs drama going on so i thought i’d ask a lighthearted positive question focused on tkk 😁

Obviously I have a soft spot for solo era as that's what I came into. And I'll always melt into a puddle at their early puppy love.

But I think it's 2020-2021 covering both In The Soop, LGO era, JK breaking formation to be absolutely gorilla glued to Tae at the Grammys. The easy domesticity is real romance to me. They seemed to have aged beyond the drama of earlier and settled into something.

😍😍😍

Please! Share your favourite eras in comments. Taekook positivity!

Thanks anon. I really appreciate you for this 💜l

[fractualized]

It's the first Tuesday of the month and once again The Man Who Stopped Laughing has brightened my spirits with Issue #9!

Spoilers and police brutality/murder beyond the cut.

Protag Joker passed out last issue but uhhhh apparently got back up again before Killer Croc got free of the barbed wire, because we open with Joker still eluding Croc. However, Croc is not so mad that he's not willing to answer Joker's question and say he attacked Grundy just to protect his territory.

CROCJOKES LIVES

Meanwhile, the Other Joker is near the end of his road trip back to Gotham, but snacks are still a must.

That's slushie all over his hand and face, not blood. JOHN DOE LIVES

When Joker goes back outside, Killer Moth has some commentary on his nonsense with Batman, which I highlight only because I always love when onlookers notice the batjokes dynamic.

Also I lol'd that the coffee becomes a gag.

Again, Joker, this is why you don't have friends. But he will defend his poor dead Mr. Waffles. 🥺

Moth, I hope you pay later for this disrespect!!

ohhhh myyy gooooddd WAFFLEJOKES LIVES HELL YEAH WE ARE STILL IN BUSINESS

After this joyous reveal, we return to the Gotham sewers, where Joker asks Croc why he doesn't believe Protag Joker is the real one. The discussion gets more personal.

Croc just giving real talk about Joker's ability to attract allies… before attacking him, but Joker is quick on his feet.

Meanwhile, time to see what's up with Jason's transfer to Blackgate.

So that's going well! Elsewhere in town…

Joker, you once lost a laughing contest to a pre-teen acrobat. Plenty of dumber things have happened to you.

Joker, are you noticing a running theme about people's feelings about you? Maybe it's because you appear to be wearing a sweater vest over a hoodie. But never no mind, Joker says Scarface is going to help him build an army to fight Other Joker.

And then we're back to Jason and his rescuer, who is not Steph as I assumed last issue.

I don't know anything about Rose Wilson other than that she's Deathstroke's daughter which I googled for this post. I'm not sure if she's sticking around or if Jason is going it alone again.

Three hours later, Protag Joker meets the Ventriloquist at a warehouse.

The comic pulls a little fakeout here. Hatter and Moth didn't switch sides; Other Joker has finally arrived in Gotham, and these are his soldiers.

So nice to see Mr. Waffles up and around. :) He doesn't need to be convinced, unlike Clayface.

Protag Joker is less thrilled.

It's kind of adorable that Joker assumed that his gorilla sidekick was of such renown.

I don't know who to root for anymore. :( Grundyjokes or Wafflejokes?

So there's no TMWSL issue next month. Apparently the Joker issues of Knight Terrors coming out in July and August continue the story from here, per a tweet I saw from Rosenberg. Which Joker will have the nightmare? Perhaps a third one who is the original? Regardless, I'm looking forward to Rosenberg's telling of Joker working in a dull, dull office.

Anyway, the backer this time takes a different tack than the others with who acts as the main character.

I imagine Joker was no longer impressed when he fell to his doom. :(

Jim doesn't believe this, and what comic reader could blame him? Until he takes it to ridiculous lengths.

The question should be settled when Joker's body shows up.

The pivot after "he doesn't have any organs" to "well then this isn't him at all!!" is sending me. But even so, comic villains have pulled off that ruse, so I still have sympathy for Jim here. He loses his job over his obsession, which takes him back to the circus.

I snorted.

RED-NOSE CHASER

Anyway, Gordon sees Gaggy among the clowns and pursues him, which is a dive from humorous to terrifying as Gaggy insists Joker is dead ("they killed him") and looks for a way to defend himself. It ends badly.

Oh, no, Gordon. Batman has had this thought but you're about to do it worse.

And so his obsessive pursuit ends, as he finds the Joker within himself! But haven't we all?

I'm assuming Knight Terrors isn't going to have these backers, and I'll miss them. :( But I'm also assuming Joker's bad dream will include a surreal element that will make up for the absence.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Favorite groveling efforts in historical fiction? Grand gestures and not, where the hero has to win the heroine’s forgiveness after screwing up in some way?

Yes!

Generally, I always recommend Untamed by Elizabeth Lowell. This is a medieval romance with a true alpha hero. He is shitty to the heroine (mostly in the sense that he suspects she was sleeping with her friend before their arranged marriage, so he refuses to consummate the marriage until she has her period and also just like... holds that kind of shit against her) but not in a way that any Elizabeth Lowell hero isn't a shitbag at points tbh! And his grovel is extremely OTT in the best way.

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe has a great one. Technically two, because Preston does his whole "wet cat grovel" before screwing up again. And having to do something more debasing the next go around lol. The Prince of Broadway by Shupe also has a good grovel!

S.M. LaViolette books have some good grovels. The Footman is my favorite, because he's just... pathetic. And he should be--he really fucked up! But yeah, this guy just sort of whimperingly approaching like an embarrassed dog while she looks down her nose at him is my FAVORITE thing. Selina has a good "she's fucked off and now I don't know what to doooo" grovel. Hyacinth has something of a grovel; I feel like it's a bit more on the "chase her down to prove my love" side, but it's good.

Oooh, His Valet has a grovel with the hero literally on his knees begging. That shit is good.

How to Steal a Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret gives good grovel. I mean, the man brings a puppy.

A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh is a book-long grovel because the hero left the heroine at the altar and now must win her back while they're trapped at an island house party.

The Notorious Lord Knightly by Lorraine Heath is another one that's sort of like... a book of the dude making up for leaving her at the altar lol. I personally like this one more, as they are more combative initially, and his grand gesture is really good. But the one above is also solid!

Heath's The Earl Takes All (aka Gorilla Twins) has a big grand gesture/grovel. I love it, and boy did he need to do it. I'd also recommend Beyond Scandal and Desire, and in a different kind of way, When the Duke Was Wicked (I mean lol... he certainly does a grand gesture).

The Mistress Experience by Scarlett Peckham has a good one, especially since it's another one where it actually takes the hero a minute to REALLY realize how badly he fucked up.

The Day of the Duchess by Sarah MacLean has one of my favorite book-long grovels because the hero has actual real adult shit to make up for her--he cheated on the heroine. (To be fair, he is groveling after she leaves him for two years, which I think helps.) Big grand gesture. Other MacLean books with good grovels include A Rogue By Any Other Name (my favorite MacLean) and Daring and the Duke (which I think works better if you read the other two books in the series first, even though they're all technically standalones).

Stacy Reid's When the Earl Met His Match has one of my favorite grovels. Another one where he hits his knees. In the rain. In the mud. Wicked in His Arms has a really unique grand gesture as well.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare has a grovel I like quite a bit!

The Hawk by Monica McCarty gives good grovel--I mean, it's a GESTURE. Like, "grovel via kidnapping" vibes.

Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley is a book-long grovel with the hero deciding to get his wife back three years after she left him. He's gotta prove himself!

The Duke by Gaelen Foley has a RIDICULOUSLY OTT grand gesture grovel right at the end. It's camp. I enjoy it lol

If you're down for an nb/nb historical romance with a grovel, Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall has a unique grovel in that like... the one person didn't mean to hurt the other and was reacting in a trauma response manner... But an apology was still necessary. Knees are hit. Tears are shed. It is raining. One party says to the other like "oh my god it's raining and you're going to hurt your knees, get up".