#i love writing for them so much and during this two week hiatus i can feel me writing for them even more

[loulovingho]

eddietommy friendship dynamic is something that can be so personal

[yournightmary]

Streamer!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU, mentions of getting hurt

AN:: Another headcannons, who would’ve thought? Streamer!Ellie was literally the reason I started writing. Enjoy :)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who started streaming as a joke. Jesse was already a streamer and he constantly said she’d be good at it, so why not?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who at first had such a shitty setup. No webcam, mic barely working and her PC couldn’t handle minecraft with shaders.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who randomly went from 30 viewers average to almost 10k one day. Just blew up overnight.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets canceled at least once a week. She just says dumb shit without thinking and has to apologize after. and people are just fucking weird.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who lives off of snacks and won’t eat a proper meal if you don’t cook anything. She’s just always on that grind😎🔥

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who’s entire personality on camera is just a character. Screams and throws herself off of her chair on camera but goes non verbal every time she’s in private.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who mostly streams games, especially minecraft & fortnite. She might make an irl stream once in a blue moon, but don’t expect it to be good.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who loves her community and wants to talk to them more often but always ends up swearing and arguing with random people in chat.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets copyright strikes and warnings from twitch admins almost every stream. Most of the times she doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who keeps your relationship a secret. She’s scared you’d get a ton of hate. (You would) ((Streamer fanbases are awful))

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who buys the most random things she can ‚for the lulz’. Whether it’s for her streaming room or bedsheets, she’s buying the weirdest option. (This made me think of her)



⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who is definitely a hey mamas girl.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who majorly fucked up and showed her personal instagram account (with your pictures) by accident. Her following went up by 10k almost instantly and she ended up deleting it:/

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who after that mistake took a hiatus for almost 3 weeks. I mean- logged out of every account she had and didn’t check any socials for that time.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who came back to streaming thinking she’d get all the hate in the world but people were just joking that ‚she’s too much of a loser to have a pretty girlfriend’.

they were also surprised she was lesbian. She never talked about her private life on stream, not even once.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ In my mind she’s the female version of 2019/2020 Quackity. Is he still relevant? idk

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who jokes about selling feet pics and bath water a little too often for your liking.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who once did a handstand for a 100 bucks. Ended up breaking her arm in two places and she couldn’t play games for almost two months.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who gets hurt on stream so often she got flagged for self harm. Apologized on twitter though:)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who definitely thinks loud=funny.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who finds out she’s in some kind of drama every single time she opens twitter. It’s always for something stupid too, like saying she’d win in a fight against some random streamer and their fanbase gets pissed.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who feels bad about having nice things so she just buys you a ton of gifts. Gotta spend that streamer money somehow🤑

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who showed you on stream once and the chat went crazy. People made edits of the 10 seconds you were on screen. Ellie watched all of them.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who streams cutting her hair every few months. She says ‚she’s cooking’ while chat drags her through mud.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ streamer!Ellie who streams so much she started saying ‚chat’ in real life, even when she’s alone. Always gets embarrassed about it and apologizes.

Can you tell I was a dsmp kid during quarantine?

[devourable]

☾ the monster

sfw | tws : teratophilia, yandere behavior/thoughts, kidnapping?

yandere monster x gn reader! only pronoun for reader used is 'you'

the last of my male yanderes from the poll,, finally <3 tysm to my friend for helping me w this :,) this one goes out to all my monster lovers out there (aka me). his name isn't used in this fic but hes named mykolas!

also!! after this fic i'll be going on a short hiatus! i have to work a lot this week and won't have time/energy to write or draw. but i will still respond to messages and will answer asks when i return (or during the down time i do have if i can). i'll see you all soon! <3

the beast was lonely. he always had been, and figured he always would be.

he learned long ago that he wasn't something that people cared for. every attempt to interact with civilization was met with fear and vitriol, harsh reminders that he wasn't allowed to enjoy the company of others. every strange happening, every fool that went missing, every incident that the townsfolk couldn't explain was always blamed on him.

even the sign outside of his forest said it ; "keep away! the beast of rochshire wood lurks!". no one would dare to step foot in his domain.

so the day he discovered you in his woods, things changed.

what were you doing there, he wondered? you looked so content, so unafraid to be in his forest as you traveled from bush to bush, picking berries and uprooting a few edible plants to tuck them away in the basket you were carrying. did you not see the signs? weren’t you afraid?

despite his questions about your presence there, something drew the beast to you. he didn't feel the urge to hide himself away like he usually would when a human stumbled into his home. you… he felt you were different. you must’ve been unlike the others if you could just come along so casually like this.

the foliage he stood in rustled as he slowly approached you. somehow, you didn’t notice or feel his eyes on you despite how intensely he was observing you and continued with your activities at first. it wasn't until a stick loudly snapped under his step thay your head snapped in his direction.

your eyes widened as you locked them with the glowing white gaze of the hulking beast before you. he was massive! so big that the large antlers atop his head brushed against the branches above him. and the pitch black fur that the... thing was covered in did nothing but make it almost seem like an amorphous mass of muscle. he was unlike anything you'd ever seen before.

you wanted to be scared. you wanted to scream and run away, get out of the forest and return to the safety of your home. the rumors, the signs — they were all true! they weren't a joke like you assumed! but despite your brain screaming at you to get out of there, you just didn't. you were frozen in place, unable to move or even react as the creature slowly leaned down to you and...

sniffed you?

the strange chuffing sound caught you off guard, baffling you out of your frozen state. you blinked a few times and realized — it was definitely sniffing you. and it pulled away right after, taking a step or two back.

the monster was so desperate to not look like a threat to you. you were so lovely, you seemed so sweet, and you smelled nice! he didn't want to scare you away! with a sort of chirping noise, he laid his head to the ground in a bid to show you that he was harmless.

curiosity got the better of you. possibly against your better judgement, you took a step toward the beast. he lifted his head slightly as you slowly pressed your hand to what you could only assume was the creature's forehead. and sure enough, this earned a small trill from him.

you couldn't help the small laugh falling from your lips, which promptly got his massive tail wagging. you weren't scared! you were touching him! and it wasn't to hurt him! his heart was pounding so much that he practically vibrated with excitement. he sat back — unintentionally startling you, but thankfully not driving you away.

you tilted your head, slowly, to the left. the creature did the same, its massive antlers brushing against the branches over its head. you tilted your head to the right, and it followed suit. you raised a hand and sheepishly waved to the creature, and to your surprise, it waved back!

that was all he need to fall completely head over heels for you.

you were oblivious to his adoration for you, but you definitely weren't hating your time with him. he wasn't nearly as bad as the village made him out to be! so you didn't notice the time flying by as the monster herded you deeper into the forest (away from the way out), guiding you to the bushes with the best berries and the biggest patches of edible foliage. he seemed so happy to have company, it was so easy to convince yourself to stay longer.

every time you tried to go into a direction he didn't want you going in, he'd pick you up and set you back down in the way he wanted you to go. and you let him. you didn't have very much of a choice in the matter, but it was okay! so what if the sun was starting to set? he was filling your basket — you wouldn't have to shop for days after this. and every time you made even the slightest suggestion of having to go, he gave you those big, glowing puppy eyes that you just couldn't disappoint.

just a few more minutes and you'd leave, you told yourself. you said it even after your basket and pockets were well beyond their capacity. you said it when the shadows started growing and the sky grew even darker. you said it until the moon was overhead, and the path out of the forest was too obscured for you to find it again...

when you looked at the beast again, he offered you his hand. and again, possibly against your better judgement, you took it.

it was dangerous to be alone in the forest, didn't you know? but there was nothing to worry about. the monster would make sure nothing — no one — took you from the safety of his presence.

you weren't safe anywhere that wasn't by his side.

please reblog to support me!

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Exciting update: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” - Currently 25 chapters completed: 973.1K Words; Rated: Mature

__________

Exciting Update: The number of chapters for this fic has been increased from 30 to 40!

Before I explain why I increased the number of chapters, I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 😊🤗😁💕 to everyone who has been reading my massive multi-chapter fanfic and I would also like to say WELCOME to anyone who would like to begin reading it. I really appreciate everyone's supportive and encouraging words and please know that I read every AO3 comment that's posted and I respond to all of them.

This fic is Buck's and Eddie's FANON EPIC LOVE STORY and IMO, it has taken them places the show refuses to go!

I've loved every minute I've spent writing it and I'm looking forward to writing even more of it. Currently it's at almost 1 million words but when I first started writing it last year, I had no idea I would be this far along with it because my initial plan was for the fic to only be 12 chapters. Then I changed the amount in AO3 to undecided (?) but after I posted chapter 9 or 10, I decided 30 chapters would be sufficient.

However, after I completed chapters 24 & 25, I took a week or so to review all the things I want to include in it going forward. Once I did, I had to be honest with myself regarding the 5 remaining chapters because I realized they won't be enough. Therefore, I outlined everything that's still to come and decided to increase the fic by 10 more chapters so the Diaz family's story along with Buck's, Eddie's and Chris' individual stories will get the attention I believe they deserve.

At the end of 2023, I posted on Tumblr and indicated my plan was to finish the entire fic before the start of season 7 but that's not going to happen. Also, for those who have been reading along, I want to assure you that just because the new season is set to begin in three days, that doesn't mean this fic is over. It's NOT FINISHED because there's so much more I have planned for the characters and I will continue writing it until I've posted all 40 chapters. If my timeline works the way I'm hoping, my new plan is to complete it during the hiatus after season 7 ends but before season 8 (if there is one) begins.

There's so much more to come for Buck, Eddie and Chris and a quick reminder, just because Buck and Eddie are married and Buck has adopted Chris, all three of their stories will continue.

Here are of the things that still need to be completed.

Eddie's still working towards obtaining two more paramedic certifications so he can become the Critical Care Paramedic of Los Angeles County.

Chris still has to complete the video game he's working on with his classmates.

Buck is still on medical leave and after they returned to L.A.; he told Eddie he didn't know if he wanted to go back to the 118. The question is will he or is he going to find new employment? 👀

Furthermore, Buck and Eddie put a bid in on a house while they were in Italy. Are they going to get it? 🙃

Chapter 25 ended with a massive cliffhanger and the person who sent Buck the package still has to be revealed. 🥹

Finally, their vow renewal ceremony is scheduled for May 2024 and they're going back to Italy for the entire month of June. Adriana's sons are going with them but Buck and Eddie still have to talk with Chris about the University of Florence's summer program when he returns home and they still have to talk to Adri and Tonio to see if Chris' cousins can go too.

So, please believe me when I say there's so much more in store for them and that's why I believe adding 10 additional chapters will allow me to continue to tell their story in a way that's not rushed and I won't have to include any time jumps to fit it all in.

Thank you again for reading, commenting in AO3 and for reblogging the posts about this fic. I really appreciate everyone's support and encouragement.

AND REMEMBER... THIS FANFIC WON'T BE FINISHED UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER HAS BEEN POSTED!

__________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-25 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thanks for the tag, @wheel-of-fish ! I’ll do my best not to sound silly here, but I am trying to get back in the saddle of writing again and this felt nice to do as encouragement.

How many works do you have on AO3?

A mere seven stories! I am absolutely pretending the FFN account I had twenty years ago does not exist anymore. (It does.)

What's your total AO3 word count?

161, 882

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

The Fly Agaric

Between the Lines

All Imaginable Pangs

Le Phénomène

All That is Solid Melts Into Air (this fic will haunt me until I die.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try as much as I can to; I’ve honestly fallen behind this year, since I’ve been on hiatus for medical/mental health issues, but if you see me replying to your comment from a while back in the near future… I am so so sorry, but please know that I am SO deeply appreciative of every single comment that gets left on my stories.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Between the Lines! This one is a Leroux-canon insert that happens during the two weeks Christine is trapped in Erik’s house, and within the context of the fic, it ends badly, and within the greater context of the book… well! You know how it ends. It’s funny, because that was the first fan fic I wrote as an adult trying to get back into fandom after 15+ years of pretending I had moved on from it (spoiler: i did not.) and now I cannot bring myself to write dark endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Most likely Le Phénomène. This was written for fluff week and was a massive excuse to have Leroux E/C have sex during a rainstorm without having to worry too much about the plot lol. What can more i say.

Do you write crossovers?

I have! It’s The Follies! And I’m quite proud of it, but it gets zero hits haha, because it’s a Venn diagram of an already small fandom (Phantom) and an incredibly niche one (my favorite musical, Sunday in the Park with George, which is also set in early 1880s Paris and about a troubled artist/muse affair—which, if you’ve never seen it, GO NOW! The proshot is widely available and it’s life changing.). If you’ve ever wanted to see Erik get drunk with Bernadette Peters, then have I got a story for you.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

For the most part, no. I have had a couple of random people who don’t like what I’ll call “hate sex” blast me for writing Erik and Christine having it because, idk their love is pure or something, but that’s mostly it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I don’t know if I write smut for the sake of smut (save for the one fluff piece), but I love writing emotional, atmospheric sex into my stories—sex that deepens how characters relate to each other and who they are as a person; people are allowed to have their own interpretations, but for me, sex is such a massive underpinning of most versions of the story and also a big part of my own life’s journey, and I just find it fascinating to write. I don’t know if people find my writing hot though, because things tend to inevitably get a little weird.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not since high school, and most of it was written to troll lol. I think now I’m just too picky and slow and set in my ways for anyone to want to collaborate with me, hahah.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Erik and Christine forever. It just is what it is, folks. Their dynamic is so specific and strange and fascinating and I will never get tired of exploring it/reading it/drawing it/writing it etc. Every other ship I love is basically just another iteration of them.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

There’s this Kay!verse horror story (with a happy ending because I’m me) that I started writing; it’s inspired by the myth of La Llorona and takes place during the weekend adult Erik returns to Boscherville to burn his mother’s house down. I really WANT to write it, but I have a story I need to finish first. I also seldom write horror and had to put it on pause because the particular subject matter of this one did not help my mental state lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel so silly writing this out about myself, hahah. If I have to say, I am particularly proud of my characterizations, my prose, and the thematic arcs I try to put into every story I write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Oh, god. Plot. Like anything that isn’t angsting, fucking, or fighting is SO hard for me to write. (Hint: call everything a “character piece” and you never have to explain why nothing happens in your writing lmao). Looooong ass sentences. I’m incredibly slow at writing, terrible at outlining, and I second guess myself with every sentence. Someone once told me to my face that my fic writing was purple prose and I guess that still haunts me a bit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For the most part, I think it’s a bad idea. Unless you have a genuine handle on the other language, I think you’re better off implying that said language is being spoken through other means. It otherwise usually just reads as really cringey to me, like “Woohoo I ran this through google translate”—especially in smut. A couple of words here and there are fine, especially if there is a word that doesn’t have a 1:1 in the primary language, but something about a bunch of Google translate sentences being pasted into the middle of a story takes me out entirely. Just my preference though, especially when it comes to my own writing; I’m not Tolstoy. I’m not Nabokov. I’m not gonna try. Anyway, end tangent.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I’d say Pharoga, but my current WIP leans into that ship on and off. I really, really want to writeErik and Meg. One day. Or Raoul/Madame Giry

What's your favorite fic you've written?

It’s really hard to say tbh—the process of writing every one of my stories (including Tubeman Rik) has taught me so much about myself as a writer and person. But it’s a split between The Fly Agaric and All Imaginable Pangs. The former was basically the fic I’d been wanting to read and struggling to write for twenty years, and I put so much of myself and my own life experiences into it that it feels incredible to have finally laid it all out and gotten it on paper, even if I worry that I now have nothing else to say about Christine and Erik, haha. But there is something about All Imaginable Pangs that made it so fun to write—I love the challenge of crafting an OC who makes sense in Erik’s past, I LOOOOOVE thinking about the period of Erik’s life where he was trying to live as normal person, before he was jaded enough to become a mole person, and I love that period of time in art and history. It’s been so fun to sit in that world. I expected no one to read it, because I realize that OCs are a very hard sell in this fandom, but I just wanted to create a POV character who was closer in age to me, who’d been dealt a lot of luxury and a lot of shit thrown her way, who also has gray hair and soft thighs lol. That it has gotten any comments, let alone some of the seriously incredible feedback I’ve received across platforms, surprises and delights me. I can’t say whether or not Augustine is a success in terms of a believable original love interest, let alone person, but I like her enough that I’m (slowly) re-writing the whole story from Erik’s point of view.

Well. That was a lot of chatter. I apologize if any of this comes off as pretentious, but I’ve taken such a long hiatus from writing fic and this was a nice little jab in the arm to finish. I’ve had to take a lot of time away from fandom for health reasons, but I’m doing so much better and (i think) finally getting back in the swing of things. If you’ve ever so much as read one of my fics, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Tagging @box5intern @ladystormcrow @flora-gray @muirin007 @antiquarianne . My apologies if you’ve already been tagged.

[ladyinred2248]

Blog Update

This is mainly a personal post for those who care to read the update about my blog 🙂 under the cut.

So… I have resolved to think that perhaps I should take a break, a hiatus from the fandom. Don’t get me wrong, this fandom and this site give me so much seratonin, and interacting with you all is so freaking fun - but in the same regard, the mental lows can hit just as hard.

Not feeling like I fit in with all you lovely people is a personal problem mostly, and it’s hard on me. I have felt that way majority of my life, but I feel it much less so these days in my personal life. That said, when something that usually brings me joy is bringing up those old feelings, I believe I should re-evaluate. Again, it’s a personal problem, so this is in no way directed at anyone 🙂 I just feel like I’m on the outside looking in. That can be a very shitty feeling.

My love language is words of affirmation so although I get likes on my writing, I rarely get commentary which again is my LOVE language and means so much to me. It’s gives me the drive to keep writing. Again, personal problem - I have high expectations 🤣 I love writing and I want to hear that people do too. But my place in the fandom is a very small one, understandably. I feel less alone when others express similar concerns and I know some of you have recently 🙂

And finally, I’m so mentally ill I can hardly see straight 🤣 don’t get me wrong, I am functioning - I hold a job in healthcare, I have two cats, I have a wonderful marriage; but man, am I fuckin’ miserable! It’s hard to do things that make my life worth living, including exercise, finance, home care, etc - those are the things a person needs to feel like a functioning human being. And I absolutely fuckin’ suck at them. So, basically I work all week, and then during the weekend feel like hiding under a rock of procrastination, then repeat. I need to address some of this lingering agoraphobia, OCD, burnout, body dysmorphia, depression, etc. etc. etc….

Thank you to everyone who frequents my blog, reads my fics, overall just recognizes me as a person in the fandom ☺️ I haven’t been here long, but you welcomed me with open arms and I truly love you. I will still be around… just not as much as I tend to these issues. I have given up Discord but you can find me here, just send me a message… ❤️💔

[auras3ye]

activity psa

hey friends, so if it wasn’t already obvious i haven’t really been around recently anywhere, due to a number of factors. i am here to inform you that this is probably not going to be changing much anytime soon. well the disassociation has finally let go of my brain, i am faced with another present hurdle. as of tonight ( sun 12am ) i am the full time shift lead till feb. my supervisor is going back to africa on mon for two months holiday, which he is more than deserving of as he doesn’t take holidays during the year at all. as the deputy supervisor, operating on the weekends, i have now inherited his position five days a week. with the tensions among the various staff even two days can take a lot out of me. my job in itself is already exhausting, now with that on top of it. i am only getting christmas day off in dec as i am too important to let go for a week but hey they let my shitty coworker with less seniority take five days and i am definitely not upset about that : )))))) so i will not have any down time from this. i am going to be very tired and anxious at times during this period. my motivation is going to fluctuate excessively. i can be here for a few days straight and then vanish for weeks. it all depends on my mental state.

i love warren, and all my blogs so much and i am not abandoning them. but i wanted to explain that the activity dips will continue for the next two months. on the plus side, being the supervisor full time means i have computer access all five nights i am on, so realistically there is more chance for writing. but all of this is going to depend on my mood and work load. i am also going to stop making “i’ll be active soon, or maybe tonight” posts. they have been wigging me out lately and then i feel guilty for not delivering. in short, consider this a semi hiatus, and i will be active when and where, wherever i feel like it.

i appreciate your patience with me and i encourage mutuals to reach out to me on disco : warrdenpowers. (with the dot) for those that don’t have me yet. for plotting and chatting purposes. hell it might even be easier to rp in servers. so msg me about that if you are interested. anyway, thanx for reading this. i adore you all 💜💙💛 xoxo

[theshinazugawaslut]

hello! no rush at all just wondering when you’d ever finish a few of your requests? that’s all! no pressure! :)

Hello! I appreciate this question being worded so sweetly, so thank you so much! I expected this question to come in eventually!

Okay, so, I am currently a month away from my final exams starting hence teachers have overloaded us with assignments, essays, dissertations, and experiments (I'm sobbing, if I have to write one more politics essay or do another fucking antimicrobial experiment I'll cry); since I'm also school vice-captain and a language ambassador, I'm organising a lot of events for the school as well. I'm also studying at the same time for the upcoming exams — afterwards, I'll be graduating and I'll have my prom!

If you can't tell, I've been overloaded with work for the past few weeks and will continue to be.

This isn't to say I haven't been working away at the requests but all the requests are only partially done, and I want to make sure I give my full to the requests and not some half-assed, sorry excuse of an attempt, especially when I have a good idea.

If you guys can't tell, I like making sure you guys get proper answers to your requests, something everyone can enjoy!

But due to my workload, time to work on them is sparse and since I have so many requests, I try to write bits and bobs of each instead of writing a whole solid thing that might turn out shit.

You guys have all been lovely and patient to me and I hope you guys can continue to do so for a while longer. I am genuinely sorry I haven't been as active on Tumblr as I first was when I started but I'm just a bit stressed from my education right now and I hope you guys can all understand!

I can give you an exact date that I will be incredibly online again though: May 17th. This is the date of my final exam. I can absolutely promise that your requests should be done within a week from that date.

My Easter break starts sometime in late March to early April for two weeks as well, so I may finish some requests during that time but I'll have to go again since my exams will start April 20th.

BUT main point is that from May 17th onwards, expect everything to be done. I am okay with people still sending in more requests since I love hearing your guys' ideas and working with them!

I guess this is kind of a semi-hiatus, I will be online and answering private messages or questions like these, and MIGHT squeeze in some time to fulfil requests, too!

Once I am fully back, though, I have many ideas to write for you guys! After requests are all finished and done, I plan on writing lots of other ideas ― many Sanemi ideas, of course, but definitely squeezing in some Bakugo this time, too (specifically barbarian king bakugo) and Genya!

Take care!

[giggles-and-freckles]

Tag Game To Better Know You

I have been tagged in so many things by so many of you lovely people in the midst of my sorta-hiatus and I would break the internet if I tried to catch up...but I like this one because it feels like a good little re-intro into the Tumblr world. :-)

What book are you currently reading?

The Writing Revolution...I can't in good conscience recommend it unless you also happen to find yourself as a teacher trying to capture teenagers' imaginations and get them to produce complete sentences! Hahahaha. Miserable toil.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Ooh, this one's easy--The Little Mermaid!! I have seen it with my family twice and then with my friends once. (I felt a little freer to lust after Prince Eric when my husband and two children weren't sitting there with me...)

What do you usually wear?

These days, some form of athleisure. During the school year, I've been told my teacher style is "Jessica Day if she didn't care so much" and...that about sums it up.

How tall are you?

5′5″ AND A HALF (alternatively: taller than @stolen-pen-name23 which is all that truly matters in this world)

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Cancer...I think? Malala Yousafzai and Henry David Thoreau!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Most folks IRL call me Abigail. It's just my brothers, husband, and you guys who call me Abi!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Absolutely not. I wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. My undergrad was pre-law and then life had other plans for me and now I'm teaching 8th grade American History. And LOVING IT. I start grad school in the fall and I'll be getting my Principal's Certification with that, so I suppose I'm in this education world for the long haul.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I am tragically married. Sorry to all interested parties!

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm fairly good with piano and singing. I'm terrible at cooking.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs forever and ever!

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Oh my. I haven't written as much as I'd like to this year (although I'm hoping to post something before the weekend!!) so I'm choosing to interpret this as the last 12 months. Maybe this bit from walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity?

He holds out his hand, wondering if she’ll bare touching him. “Goodbye, Leia.”

She is not a girl of gentleness—this, he can tell. But she accepts the hand like she’s afraid to shatter it. “Goodbye.”

“Saying my name won’t hurt you, you know,” he says, refusing to be the first to let go.

“Remind me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Anakin Skywalker.”

“Skywalker, you said?” she echoes, and lets their hands fall between them. She opens the door and smiles teasingly at him, tilting her head. “Interesting. That was my father’s name.”

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I think I'm forever stuck in my prequels hell!

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Ur mom. Okay...sorry. Ahem. I've been sewing more lately. I used ot dabble in high school, but I'm finding more motivation to make things for my toddler than I did to make things for myself.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

The weather recently! It was supposed to rain the past couple weeks and we've not gotten much more than a few minutes of sprinkling. I looooove rainy days, so that's bummed me out quite a bit.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I'm excellent at whistling. It's completely useless, but I'll get compared to a Disney princess occasionally, so I guess that's something.

Are you religious?

Yes. My faith is very important to me, but it's *my* faith, so I don't feel the need to bring it up with strangers unless asked about it. (Crazy concept, right?)

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A cuppa tea...so I think I'll go put the kettle on byeeeee

No pressure tags: @pandora15 @stolen-pen-name23 @tessiete @ilonga @kckenobi & anyone who wants to join in the fun!

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 15

Well, I watch a lot during the week, as you all might know. I really want to write a little bit more about the stuff I watch, but time and work kind of get in my creative way. So I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

The Promise is on hiatus, so it didn't make it on this week's list.

↑ 1. The Eighth Sense (Ep 5+6)

I love it. This series is so brilliantly good. What I especially like are those little gestures, like how excited JaeWon was when he called JiHyun and how he smiled when he told his therapist about him. The entire beach scene made me melt. What a wonderful love scene! Very aesthetically pleasing and realistic, because you can have fun with something like this and explore the other in a playful way, not everything has to be oversexualized. The series really does so much right here! The end of the episode on the other hand…I have read quite a few analyses about the next episodes and I guess we will suffer together with Jaewon, who will fall back into his old pattern and his old life to not cause more harm to the one he cares for the most and in the end harming himself, because he can't live the life he desperately wants; and we will suffer with Jihyun, who is in love and understands that Jaewon has some baggage, but is left alone in the end and is hurting and that will make my heart hurt very much and thinking about all this makes me tear up...

→ 2. Unintentional Love Story (Ep 9 +10/Final)

One of the best encounters with an ex took place this week. And Wonyoung kicked that guy's ass! In general, he has grown a lot over the episodes and has undergone a good character development. He has gained more confidence and seems more mature than he did at the beginning. I also found the phone call between Wonyoung and Taejoon a good solution to make Taejoon realize that it's not just Wonyoung who did something wrong and that the past can definitely get in the way. All the nicer that they end up watching the sunset together. I liked the series a lot.

☼ 3. Our Dining Table (Ep 2)

Yes, this won't be the most dramatic thing we're currently seeing, but that's just fine. It is a pleasant and calm balance in this rather hectic series environment. Everywhere they try to lure you in with more action, more suspense and drama, more trauma or more sex and here we have a young man overcoming his eating disorder and finding a family with the help of two brothers. It's nice and quiet and doesn't hurt anyone. I'm really looking forward to the next episode and can't wait to see what they will cook next and where their conversations will take them.

↑ 4. Chains Of Heart (Ep 9)

Okay, we now have a psychic on board who can see people's past by touching them…Nothing really surprises me anymore! But seriously, what an episode! Finally we have Mr. Lue/Din and Ken together! Even though Ken seems to be in denial that Mr. Lue is Din? I think he knows, but can't stand the thought of Din lying to him all this time. So Mr. Lue is supposed to make him forget what he knows and wow, he does! These two were really starving for both affection and passion. What else happened? The scene also made me forget what happened next. Hin is the older brother of Din…Wouldn't have thought that, I thought he is the younger one. And then he is also the brain-cell of the whole episode! I am very impressed, he seemed more like the simple-minded shadow of Yu. All in all, once again a very good episode.

↑ 5. A Boss And A Babe (Ep 7)

So Gun is just the best in this series.

How he came into Cher's room after the shower and just doesn't give a shit what others think and says goodbye with "I'll wait in bed." And Cher's friends…they already know something since the BBQ, but they happily ignore it away. That's another way of dealing with it. Some say that not much happens and the show has no real plot. Does something outstanding always have to happen? Aren't everyday problems and how to deal with them sometimes enough? Like the problems with the foster brother or overcoming a first love and discovering a new, different love. I really liked walking with Cher through his life this week.

☼ 6. Naked Dining (Ep 1)

What do you do when you want to relieve stress? I craft or watch series or listen to loud music. Our protagonist eats…naked. And feels free. Honestly, if it helps? Who am I to judge? He finds a letter in the mail from his grandmother, who has already passed away. She wrote the letter six months ago and put it into a program that sends mail at a chosen time. He visits the house to clean it up and relax a bit from the stressful world of work. There he meets Miki Mahiro, who has taken the grandmother on a culinary journey to discover the world in this way. And as fate would have it, he discovers that our protagonist likes to be naked while eating. The scene was hilarious!

↓ 7. Bed Friend (Ep 9)

I'm only watching now because it'll be over soon. The series started really strong, but somehow it lost me. The positive thing about this episode was that for once there was no drama and Uea could take a breath (okay, except maybe at the very beginning, but that's positive drama when the former abuser is arrested and the abusive mother is done with the world). And finally Uea came around and accepted King as his boyfriend. It was getting a bit exhausting to see King begging and at the end I was just confused what their status is now. The introduction to King's parents I found really charming, between door and hinge. So not the hit for me this week.

☼ 8. My Story (Ep 1)

There's so much going on that I've lost track of everything. But one guy is a cook and goes to Thailand to earn money and meets the future love of his life there. And another one takes in a young man in his dormitory, which the dean finds totally fine, also that they have to share the bed together and that's why he just gets put up there from school and you can already tell in episode one that the two of them are going to be exciting. They have definitely stolen the show for me.

→ 9. Tin Tem Jai (Ep 7)

Now why the hell did Park have this change of heart? It feels like yesterday he wanted to do everything to convince Tin that he doesn't like him and will never marry him, and suddenly they're sitting in the living room and he confesses to him, in the creepiest way possible, that he tried to think of him as just a brother, but the older Tin got, the prettier he got…What masterful mind-brain came up with this dialogue? And those random jumps in time and space, and why didn't Tin and Park talk to each other? And Park really only has three emotions…annoyed, tired or neutral…Nothing else comes across…I can't really feel his affection for Tin either. Anyway…Three more episodes and if this doesn't end with the wedding of the two, I'll throw hands.

→ 10. PastSenger (Ep 6)

Okay, they like each other. Everybody likes each other. I just can't see the chemistry between Plawan and Moodaeng. For me, there's nothing there and it feels a little too rushed how Plawan got over his crush on Bamee. Then Kiev and Bamee…just talk to each other! But no, argue. And by the way it's totally normal when your friends want to interfere in your life or at least worry! What kind of friends are they who just let him work in this place? I would have taken him in and looked for something more suitable…And Franc is suddenly not so bad after all and makes her laugh? Very fast and confusing changes that happened this week. And I'm not talking about the kisses…Except maybe you shouldn't have held the camera on them quite so long…Had to look away briefly at the drunken mouth on mouth placement…

[bropunzeling]

For director's commentary, anything you care to share for marriage bets, please and thank you! (They reach such breathtaking heights of stupidity, god I love them.)

ty anon! i love these absolute losers too. for you, the section from the spain chapter (my fave chapter 😊) where matthew says he's leaving calgary:

They settle up the tab, then start on their walk back to the hotel. As they walk, they stay close enough together that their elbows bump every other step [i loved writing the constant physical contact in this section. it does a lot of things: show you what kind of person leon is (demonstrative!); get at their increasing comfort with each other; it's also like, when you're with someone long distance, you do get more touchy feely than normal (or at least that was really the case in my experience!)], while Leon tells him more about his childhood, about where he grew up. Matthew comes away with only a hazy impression of Cologne itself, but a much clearer one of Leon’s family. Learning to skate surrounded by his dad’s teammates. Having Kim send him song suggestions when he got homesick as a teenager in Saskatchewan. Cooking lessons with his mom, most of which went badly, but a few things turned out okay.

Mostly, Matthew can see how much Leon likes them. Even though he must only get to see them for snatches of time, a few weeks a year. [i love the family/distance/loneliness themes in this fic a lot and i especially love it as a form of common ground for them to start building a real relationship. i may have said before but there was some post-trade quote from daryl sutter about matthew seeming lonely/spending all his time at the rink that really really informed this fic and the themes, and having the compare/contrast with leon was a nice like, foundational thing to build on]

“You must miss them,” Matthew says during a break in Leon’s recollections, as they wait for a crosswalk light to turn.

“I…” Leon trails off, then shrugs. “I mean, it’s been hard,” he says. “Pretty much always, but especially with—you know.”

“Yeah,” Matthew says. He does know. Even though there was only half the distance between himself and his own family, he knows. [they have more in common than they think! they can relate to each other!] He looks at the light on the other side of the street, focusing on the red man stopping them from stepping onto empty pavement. [spent [redacted] amount of time looking up spanish crosswalk signals like do they ALSO have the little red man in the hat?] “Do you ever think about moving back? Being closer?”

“And give up NHL hockey?” Leon clicks his tongue as he shakes his head. “No way. I want to play with guys at my level, you know?” [trade offs and what you'll do for what you want - another eternal theme in the jess bropunzeling catalog]

“No, no, I know,” Matthew says quickly. “But if that wasn’t an issue? Would you?”

This time, Leon sighs. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “Maybe.” [leon is lonely too!!!! when i was restarting this fic again (i had finished approximately the first two chapters and then took a 6 months hiatus for girl!leon reasons) and trying to figure out the flow, figuring out this aspect of leon's characterization for the fic really unlocked somrthing for me, because i needed a reason for them to want to continue besides sexual attraction, and once this hit me i was like duh!!! he's lonely, and this flirtation/connection to matthew is assuaging that loneliness]

The light turns. They start crossing. Matthew does his best not to stagger as all the drinks they’ve been having catch up with him.

Once they’ve crossed the street, Leon clears his throat. Matthew looks over at him, but Leon’s looking ahead. “It’s like,” he says, frowning in concentration. “Edmonton is good, right? Like, the guys, Connor and Ryan and Tyson and everyone—they’re great. The best.” [i was writing this around the time tyson barrie got traded and leon was SO SAD in his depression beige ensemble that i was like more tyson! it all needs more tyson!which then led to another fave scene of leon drunk dialing matthew from darnell's wedding] Matthew thinks about interrupting, saying something about his own impressions of Oilers past and present, but that would ruin the moment, and he doesn’t want to ruin it. “And I’ve been—it’s been good, the team, and everything. But.” Leon shrugs. “It’s not a good town to be alone in.” [no shade to the city of edmonton but there is not enough sunlight in the winter imo] [also like. being a pillar of the team in THAT town and not having someone else who gets it and can support you (without being a teammate, who would only be intimately tied to your struggle/unable to see things from the outside)? it would suck! i think!]

Matthew should say something. He doesn’t know what. He settles for swaying closer to Leon, for bringing them back into contact again. [touch touch touch] Judging by the way Leon doesn’t move away, that’s enough.

“So,” Leon says. “I don’t know. If there was an option to play closer to home… maybe.”

Matthew nods. Puts one foot carefully in front of the other, trying not to trip and stumble. Walking down the sidewalk, in a city he’s never been to before and may never visit again, his shoulder brushing against Leon’s with every other step, he has that soap bubble feeling again of suspension, impermanence. Like he’s somewhere where none of the rules matter, where he can say the things he’s been thinking about for weeks and they won’t become real yet. [i just like this paragraph a lot! that feeling of being somewhere unreal because it's late and you're drunk and sharing big secrets]

Things like: “I’m leaving.”

There’s a pause. Then, Leon says, in a tone Matthew doesn’t think he could decipher even if he were sober, “You’re leaving here early?” [poor leon is panicking so bad here and trying so hard not to show it]

Matthew shakes his head, hard enough that his vision spins. “No, no, not here. I mean—I’m leaving Calgary.” [also tipsy conversations are great for those little moments of miscommunication because the drunk mind really does make those leaps, so you can believably have people say one thing and have it interpreted another way without it being obnoxious]

Leon exhales, hard. “Oh.”

Another pause. Matthew looks up at where the palm trees are swaying and the stars are beginning to blink into appearance; stops when he starts to get dizzy. Fuck, they drank a lot tonight. When he stumbles, something catches him before he can eat it on the pavement. Leon’s hand, warm around his elbow. [TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH also like, leon just thrives in supportive boyfriend mode. he wants to be Supportive Boyfriend Leon so bad.] That makes it easier to explain. “I wasn’t—I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Most of this season, to be honest. But I wanted to get through the playoffs first. Wanted to—we were good, me and Johnny, and Lindy, and Marky. Solid. We could’ve—but we didn’t. And then I was—it’s really sucked, the last couple years. Not being able to go home, or see my family, or do anything, you know? All I have in Calgary is hockey, and we didn’t measure up.” He shrugs. Leon keeps holding on, which is—nice. “So. I’m gonna leave.”

They take a few more steps in silence. When Leon speaks, it’s very quiet. “Do you know where you’re going to go?”

Matthew shrugs again. “Not sure yet. East, probably. Tampa. Florida. Carolina. Maybe even St. Louis. I haven’t decided.” [catch me spending so much time reading that article in the athletic about how the trade went down just to inform this one paragraph]

Leon hums. Matthew imagines he can feel it, from somewhere deep in Leon’s chest traveling down his arm and up Matthew’s, until it finds a home in his ribs. [is this a little flowery? maybe, but i like it so it stayed] “It’ll be different. Not playing against you as much.”

That startles a laugh out of Matthew. “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll hate it. Battle of Alberta is going to be way more boring.” [flirt flirt flirt. in all seriousness though, i like this as a tension break, obviously, but also like - leon expressing something he means (bc he's very straightforward) and matthew treating it lightly/as an opportunity for a joke/to break the tension is just a nice way to demonstrate how they're far apart, still, in how they understand their relationship to each other. but also flirt flirt flirt]

“Maybe that’ll be nice,” Leon says lightly. “I could do with fewer bruises.” [you love the bruises you horny freaks]

“Come on, don’t lie. You’re gonna miss having me there.” Matthew grins, then feels it fade as what he’s said sinks in. Leon knows now. Leon could tell—someone. “Fuck, now you’ll have an advantage. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He stops talking, squinting at the streetlights. “Why am I telling you this?” [i love this beat too! matthew tells leon his secrets almost without meaning to bc acknowledge it or not they trust each other now]

Leon’s hand tightens around his elbow, then loosens again. “I don’t know. Because I’m your husband, I guess?” [trying so hard to seem casual but he is sosososo not casual]

“Not a good one,” Matthew says, unable to stop himself from teasing.

“Hey.” On his next step, Leon bangs his shoulder straight into Matthew’s, hard enough to nearly send him off the sidewalk and into the street. [flirty! and yet again - physical contact bc theyre together and can do that now] The only reason he doesn’t fall over is because of Leon’s grip on his arm. “This trip was my idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, because you were an asshole to me,” Matthew points out as he rights himself. [matthew is gonna milk that as much as he can lol] “It’s gonna take more than a nice vacation to make up for that.”

“Yeah?” Now Leon’s hand is sliding, traveling down to Matthew’s wrist, and then further, to wrap around his palm. [i love people holding hands bc i am a sap] “What else do I have to do, then?”

Matthew hums as loudly and obnoxiously as possible, [it is so important to me that they are both so obnoxious even when having important romantic moments] flexing his hand, testing Leon’s grip. “I’ll think about it.”

Leon laughs, but doesn’t let go. “You do that.”

“I will.” Matthew nods. “Gonna give you a—fuck, what’s the word. Fair shot.”

“That’s generous.”

“I’m a generous guy.” [i love banter!!!! for a romcom to romcom there must be banter!!!!! it's why the questions and the spain sequence were so fun to write]

“Even if it might help me win?” [OK so ORIGINALLY i did not have this line or the next exchange in my first draft, bc one of the things i was trying to do in this whole second half of the fic (from leon's apology up until leon's attempt to actually propose) was have you, the reader, and matthew, the pov character, just -- forget about the bet. it needed to seem and feel realer and realer, because what was happening between them was turning into a real relationship with a true sense of connection and honesty and sincerity, so (a) you get where leon is coming from with the proposal (bc his feelings are real! it's real to him! it has been for months! he thinks matthew would say yes!) and (b) MATTHEW can suddenly remember the bet and react so so badly because he wants that sincerity so much and thinks it was never there, and then you get him telling leon he won the bet and it all comes crashing down :)

the point being: i didn't have this and then my beta was like are you gonna bring up the bet??? because i keep forgetting there's a bet, and i was like okay i am maybe doing my job too well, we can have ONE more mention before the build up in chapters 7 and 8]

It takes a moment for the chirp to register. When it does, there’s a second where Matthew’s not sure what to say. He keeps forgetting about that part, the part where it’s a competition. There’s something about being here that’s made it slip his mind. [and this is why my beta was right bc then i can point to my own tricks hohoho] The wine, maybe, or the weather. Or Leon’s fingers, warm around Matthew’s hand. [also i just like these two sentences. hand holding!]

“Even then,” Matthew says. Adds, “But you’re not gonna win.” [competitive freaks in love :)]

Leon’s laugh is startled, pleased. Or at least, Matthew thinks it is. He’s pretty sure. “We’ll see about that.” [and he DOES win. he's a great husband :)]

[ballerinainskzville]

Just a broken hand pt. 4 - Hyunjin one shot

Hyunjin was taking you out on a date.

Yes, the Hwang Hyunjin of Stray Kids.

Who was still on a hiatus because of false bullying accusations.

You two met in an art class 3 months ago and spend some time with each other. For the past 2 weeks, you two went on a date almost every single day when you didn’t have classes. He was clear from the schedule after all.

When you two first met, it was clear that Hyunjin wasn’t doing well mentally. The other day, he had confessed to you that for the first month, he couldn’t get out of the house, that he had secluded himself into the 4 walls of his room in his parent’s apartment. It was his parents who would take Kkami out for a walk, he had been terrified of people recognizing him and calling him names because of the fresh wound the accusations had left. It hadn’t been proven that he was innocent back then, people saw him as the guilty villain.

With time, Hyunjin learned how to smile again and his eyes were sparkling with excitement and joy when he would talk about something he loved. Like arts or his members. Or his fans. He adored them.

During that time, you started to develop feelings for Hyunjin, too. It started as a small crush that you couldn’t look away from in art class. So you ended up painting him when the teacher told you to paint something or someone that inspired you. Hyunjin found out and was taken aback that you inspired him. So you asked him to grab a coffee together with you so you could explain what you found inspiring about it. Soon, you two would hang out after every class. Later, every single day if you had the time without neglecting your lectures.

After yesterday’s art class, Hyunjin passed you the artwork he had painted in class. It was a mountainside, with a couple enjoying their picnic amongst nature. Below he had written: “I want to take you on a date tomorrow”. You were shocked when you read his writing and looked back at him. “Yes?”, he had whispered as he watched you. “Yes”, you had whispered back and a wide smile grew on both your faces.

Now the two of you were walking along the walking route towards the top of the mountain, picnic basket in his hand. The sun was gleaming down on you, and the birds singing in the background made you realize how much you had missed nature during your daily commute within the busy streets of Seoul. No wonder Hyunjin was spending a lot of time in nature, it’s healing your soul.

“What do you do, when you spend your time here in the mountains? You said you often come when you can’t sleep too. I reckon that it’s dangerous if you’re all on your own”, you asked him as you two were laying on your backs, looking up at the sky. “I sit? I watch nature, the birds, and the people passing by. Each one of them has its own story. Maybe they are all also fighting and struggling inside. That’s why they’re trying to escape and get it off their mind here. Maybe they’re like me…. At night, you can see the stars from here. I sit and imagine that every star that is shining down on me is a fan. A glimmer of hope. Someone who supports me. It gives me the strength to think that not the whole world, except my members and my parents, hates me. Because the stars are endless and so are the kind supporting words of fans who were waiting for me to return”

You sat up after he was done explaining. “We’re waiting?”

Hyunjin twisted his head to look at you and nodded before he stood up.

“Yes. We're waiting. Tomorrow I’m officially returning. Which marks an end to the hiatus. We finally have the proof that I was innocent”, he gives you a warm smile.

“Oh my, Hyunjin! That’s such great news! I- wow, I don’t know what else to say, I’m so so happy for you and your group”, the words babble out of your mouth, the excitement fueling your body. And your tongue. He’s watching you silently but with glittering eyes, his smile mirroring yours.

“You’re happy for me? Really?”, he asked, a breeze of wind blowing his hair into his face that he quickly adjusted behind his ear.

“Of course, Hyun! Why shouldn’t I? You’re going back on stage, your dream is continuing. Stray kids wouldn’t be stray kids if it’s not the 8 of you”, you said.

He nodded a bit, gathering his words.

“Aren’t you happy about it?”, you asked carefully upon his silence.

He quickly shook his head.

“I’m over the moon. Trust me, I am happy that they were kind enough to give me a second chance. 99,9% happy. Yet, there’s this tiny 0,01% of me that’s going to miss spending so much time with you, Y/N. Does that make me a bad person? Ungrateful even?”, he scooted closer to you, both of you sitting face to face. Another round of wind knocked you and you pulled down the sleeves of your thin cardigan.

“No, it doesn’t make you ungrateful, Hyun. Because we did stuff together that you enjoy yourself too and whilst doing so, we made memories. We laughed a lot and spend time so it’s normal that you’d mourn over our friendship’s memories-“,

Hyunjin interrupted you:

“Friendship? You think of me as a friend?”, his voice had a bitter layer beneath and he couldn’t help to raise his eyebrow before looking away.

What were you two? Not friends, if you asked your heart. You wanted to be more with him, tell him your feelings. But he was an idol. He was one of the most popular idols of the current generation, millions ADORED him. And he was returning to his group activities which meant the time you’d both spend would be reduced to almost zero. No more museums and exhibitions exploring, getting ice cream at midnight, walking along the Hangang, or going for walks with Kkami. He’d be busy with the work that he loved so much and soon… soon he’d forget you. The thought of it alone began to rumble up your heart, the pieces threatening to fall apart.

“I… I don’t know what to say. Honestly”, you whispered, your hands fumbling with the button of your cardigan. Hyunjin‘s long fingers drummed on the picnic blanket for a while before he looked back at you seconds, or perhaps minutes later.

“Tell me the truth, Y/N. Please. I need to know what we are before I go back tomorrow”, his voice became small and his eyes were desperately searching for the truth in yours. He was returning to his group so what was the harm of telling him?

“The truth is… that I like you. A lot. Asmoreasafriend. And I’ll miss the time we both spend a lot too. I’m happy for you, I truly am but you’ll soon forget me and-“

Hyunjin’s hand reached out to yours, taking it into his palm. Shaking his head frantically he spoke up: “I’d never cast you aside and just forget you, Y/N. You’ve nestled into the shores of my heart and I- I want more with you. As selfish as I am, I just want to be selfish once because I want you. Because I like you too and I wasn’t sure if you felt the same about me. I need you to know that you mean so much to me and without meeting you, I honestly wouldn’t be where I am now. Mentally. You’ve brought the light back into my life. The color onto the canvas. I need you, Y/N. Please be mine. I know I’m asking for a lot and I’m asking you to sacrifice so much but please. Please be my girlfriend”

His chest was heaving by the time he finished talking, his eyes frantically searching for the answer in yours.

Hyunjin liked you too.

He wanted to be more than friends.

He refused to forget you, he wanted you a part of his life even as an idol.

“Hyun…”, you whispered, laughter escaping your lips in shock. You fumbled for the right words in your mind but the thoughts were rushing by too fast, and you couldn’t grip one.

A thunder boomed above you which made both of you jump. “Oh, where did the change of weather come-“, he complained, and instantly, rain began to pour from the dark grey clouds above you, “. He rolled his eyes as he looked back at you, the rain wetting his hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think of checking the weather beforehand, Y/N-“, he wasn’t able to finish as you moved closer, pressing your lips onto his. Hyunjin froze, stunned but began to kiss you back. His hand pressured on your back to hold you close, he cupped your cheek as you both let your lips dance, losing yourselves in each other.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you gently pulled on his black hair, tilting his head in favor of you.

“Yes, I want to be yours. I want to be your girlfriend, Hyunjin”, you whispered against his breath as the oxygen was ringing out of your lungs. You felt his lips rise into a smile against yours. “Yeah?” he breathed out, his face only an inch away from yours. “Yeah”, you giggled.

[pipermca]

Writing Year in Review - 2023

I have to say, 2023 was an odd year for me.

I finally made it to TFCon again (after taking a long hiatus during the pandemic), and it was absolutely lovely to see everyone. I got to meet some new folks face-to-face, and meet up again with people I'd met in 2019. Spouse came with me this time, and he had a pretty good time (despite only being a TF fan via osmosis).

We did no other travel, though. Part of that was because we got a new cat, so we're back to needing to make kenneling arrangements before going anywhere. And as much of a joy as our cat is, that has made travel a little more inconvenient.

I had some major disruptions at work this year, completely upending the end of my summer and start of fall. As a direct result of this, the coming year is going to be extremely challenging work-wise as I get caught up on some things. Hopefully by late summer 2024, the pressure will be off and I can relax again (back into my usual level of work-related stress).

I also had my first round of Covid in 2023, which absolutely sucked. F minus, not recommended. I came very close to going to the ER during the worst of it, and the aftermath continued to kick my ass for months. The fatigue and brain fog was real, but the other health issues that it produced are still with me. Thank god for vaccines; I don't know how things might have gone if I hadn't been vaccinated.

In the coming year, I am going to try to focus on being kind to myself, both mentally and physically. Part of that is going to include the expectations I'm setting for myself for writing.

In December, I wrote 5,500 words, most of it in the story I've started posting, A Matter of Propriety. The story is still being posted (and I need to finish writing it!!) and I'm hoping to keep up my once-a-week posting schedule. If I can't make good progress on the next chapter this week, I'll probably drop into an every-other-week schedule instead, just so I can maintain my chapter buffer. (The story will likely have eight chapters total.)

For the year, in 2023 I wrote 62,502 words. Most of that was on A Matter of Propriety and Again and Again and Again (my TF Big Bang fic). However, I only posted 24,184 words to AO3, split between 4 completed works. (A Matter of Propriety will finish in 2024, so its stats will eventually count for that year.)

Most months I didn't set a specific word count goal, and that's ok. But possibly as a result, my output was all over the map. The two major peaks are in April (when I did the bulk of my Big Bang fic writing), and July (when I got a smutty fic idea and banged (hah) it out really quick).

Like always, my average words per hour is pretty consistent, although not as much as in previous years. Still, it shows that when I do sit down and write, I get consistent work done.

As I mentioned, I didn't make specific writing goals most months, but when I did, I never reached them. That tells me I am setting my goals too high, and I need to be more realistic.

As for the goals I set for myself for 2023, I did pretty awful. 😅 Again, I think I was just setting expectations too high for myself.

Finish Sun and Moon (working title) Nope. I barely worked on it at all.

Finish one Sparkr story (any of my bunnies or WIPs!) In progress? Call this 50%.

Write two comic scripts for practice Nope.

Make more progress in IDW2 reviews Nope, 0% progress made.

Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter Barely worked on this, either, so no.

Rewrite/repost stories that I took down. Call this 50% done.

When chatting about this with a friend last night, I realized that THREE of my goals were basically "finish this longfic." Considering how much brainpower longfics take, it's no wonder I failed. So as part of my "be kind to myself" vision statement 😅 I'm going to focus on do-able goals, with one "stretch" longfic goal.

Write two comic scripts for practice

Finish reposting taken-down fics

Write and post three one-shots

Start posting Sun and Moon (working title)

My rationale for these is: I really want to practice scriptwriting. I really want to finish getting those old fics back up in a better format. I LOVE the instant quick gratification of getting a short story written and posted. And the stretch goal is to start posting Sun and Moon. If I'm starting to post it, that means I am confident about finishing it. ✨

Behind the cut is the first sentence of each of the stories I posted (sans the reposted fics, since those were all backdated to their original posting dates), and the month it was posted in. I wish everyone a happy and safe 2024!

August. Sharing is Caring. "That's it… There you go." The words were whispered into Bluestreak's audial.

August. Plans in Plans. The tiny dot in the distance grew in size as it approached, until Megatron's optics were able to resolve it into the shape of a Seeker.

September. Again and Again and Again. Create log file.

November. A Nice Set of Wheels. "So who is this guy, again?" Mirage asked, slipping between a box truck and a van.

December. A Matter of Propriety. Orion picked up his comm pad for approximately the thousandth time since being shown to his table, and checked it for messages.

[yanderu-deredere]

real sorry to hear abt the deleted fic- and it's completely understandable to not wanna write things esp with homophobic shit people say and kink shaming. All I can really say to that is there are plenty of people who are supporting you- no matter which way you decide to go with things (if you write it or decide not to).

Do whats best for you and your mental health- wishing you the best. Remember to stay hydrated and rest- don't over work yourself!

<3

anon asked: Hello there!! Not really an ask but I just wanted to say I found your blog recently and really enjoy your content. I hope you’re having an amazing day and keep up the great work!! Be sure to hydrate and don’t let haters get to ya, you have a community of great people that love and appreciate you and what you do <3 Youre an amazing and talented individual who only deserve the best! Be sure to remember that 💕

anon asked: I had to turn off your notifications and turn them back on to make sure I get them, I hope you get back into your flow soon, your work is awesome!

anon asked: don't be sorry for a bunch of things outside of your control, I may have joined and read trough *everything* during your inpromptu hiatus, but like... health and life still comes first? I'm glad you're returning to everything and I wait with baited breath to see what the future holds

asdfsdfs you guys............... im gunna cry! thank you so so much for all the wonderful messages. i wish i had the words to be able to express to you guys how much all of this means to me. to have your support, to have your supportive words, means the world. esp becos ive been beating myself up abt posting. thank you, thank you, thank you.

now that ive posted a couple of stuff, i wanted to just thank you guys and also announce some things

im still getting kicked in the ass by tumblr (got two posts deleted?? one was a version of this post and another was a fic i was working on) so im pretty discouraged still. also, flare ups and new medication still kicking my ass too. im being ganged up on and not in the good way.

so, i'll only be posting on friday, saturday and sunday at 3pm til 12am. i'll try to do what i'm doing today, which is posting a fic every hour! it's hard but easier when i work on it thru the week and save them up to post later

also also, there's 400smth of you now! i'll finish up m is for marriage and then, after that, mermay. then, we can finally do the follower event that you guys have been waiting forever for.

for the 300 followers and 400 followers, i won't be doing an event but i'm working on making something really special for you guys so look forward to that!

and again, for all the people who were following and reblogging my fics, even when i wasn't posting, thank you so much. for all the kind words, thank you so much. i appreciate every single one of you

the fact that im doing this as a hobby always discouraged me but you guys have really been supportive and sweet and you guys bring back the passion. thank you thank you thank you

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 19 is already available on AO3 and Chapter 20 will be posted soon.

Currently 19 chapters completed: 718.9K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

____________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 20 because there are only 14 days left until Buck and Eddie get married.

For anyone who hasn't read Chapter 19, here's a brief overview: Chris and Eddie had an early Sunday morning conversation while Buck was still sleeping that included Chris asking him if Buck will say yes to adopting him. Both Buck and Eddie made definitive decisions to go "no contact" with their parents; Buck cut the Buckleys off completely for the last time and Eddie temporarily cut Helena off but could his decision eventually become permanent? Buck had another intense conversation with Maddie about his life as an adult and Buck and Eddie asked two people to be their witnesses when they go to the Italian Consulate for their upcoming appointment to get their Italian Declaration notarized.

Buck and Eddie will tie the knot before Christmas 2023 but they are NOT getting married in the U.S. and they won't have a wedding ceremony until May 2024. They've revealed their relationship, their engagement and the fact that they're going to Europe to their found family during the 118's Thanksgiving dinner (Chapter 17), to Eddie's parents, his sisters, his abuela and Tia Pepa (Chapter 18) and Buck told the Buckley parents he's getting married and that he has a son (Chapter 19) but they've only told two people they're getting married in Italy. They had to tell them because they asked them to be their witnesses. No one else knows they're getting married in two weeks, not even Chris because they haven't told him yet.

Now that Buck and Eddie have their two witnesses to go to the Italian Consulate with them, will anyone else find out they're getting married when they go to Italy in Chapter 20?

___________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 20 of Buck and Eddie being romantically fluffy while they're lying in bed.

___________

As he looks into his angelic blue eyes, he becomes even more mesmerized by them because he’s always noticed they’re the bluest of blue this early in the morning.  He wants to tell him how beautiful they are in Italian but since he hasn’t learned how to yet, he makes a mental note to look it up so he can surprise him.

Buck’s eyes dreamily look at the love of his life and he hopes they’re conveying how much he loves, needs and wants him.  On Wednesday, with the help of his Italian language instructor, he started translating his marriage vow from English to Italian but after his lesson ended, he spent a few minutes learning how to say other words and phrases specifically for moments like this when him and Eddie are in private.

He lifts both of his hands, cups the sides of Eddie’s face and pulls him closer so their cheeks are pressed together.  He whispers directly into his ear, “Faremo l’amore la prima notte di nozze”.

After Eddie places a soft kiss onto his neck, he whispers back using a combination of Italian and English, “Amore mio… please say it again”.  He asks because he heard “faremo l’amore” which he already knows the meaning of and he heard “notte” too and it’s another word he knows the meaning of but he’s completely unfamiliar with the rest of it.

Instead of repeating it, Buck places an open-mouth kiss onto his neck and he sucks it just enough to make Eddie’s whole-body shiver with anticipation.  He slightly lifts his hips so their hard lengths can rub against each other’s and even though they’re both wearing boxer shorts, they can feel every bit of how much they want and long for each other and it makes them both quiver.  Then he pulls back so he can look into those honey brown eyes he loves so much.

After he lays his head back onto the pillow, he says, “La nostra prima notte di nozze voglio che tu facia l’amore con me”.

Eddie squints his eyes because he heard the “facia l’amore con me” which is another phrase Buck said last week that he understands and since he heard “notte” again, he guesses the meaning.

He quietly gasps but he doesn’t break eye contact.  He wants him, all of him so badly but he remembers they agreed they’re going to wait until their wedding night.  He keeps looking into those ocean blue eyes he loves so much and like a prayer, he whispers, “In 14 days… Farò l’amore con te tutta la notte.  Evan… tutta la notte” and he means every word of it.

Will Eddie research what “Faremo l’amore la prima notte di nozze” and “La nostra prima notte di nozze voglio che tu facia l’amore con me” means in English before they leave for Rome in 14 days? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant.  The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-19 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 20 will be posted soon.

[themarydragon]

Love-Lost-Found Q&A

They’re not technically FAQ because nobody’s had a chance to ask anything yet, but here’s my extended author’s note for Lost and Found (and the upcoming prequel, Loved and Lost).

1.       Where have you been/What took so long/You haven’t posted in years/WTF

As I am sure has been the case for most everyone else, the last 3-5 years have SUCKED. I lucked out, and everyone I love most has survived (cancer and heart attacks and covid, oh my), but being a full time nurse and full time graduate (nursing) student during a global pandemic consumed every spare spoon I had. We scraped together the down payment on our forever home and moved this summer, and I went on sabbatical once we got settled, so my plan is to ease back into fandom while I watch the snow fall and otherwise hibernate this winter.

2.       New fic what dis? Loved & Lost & Found is a two-part Modern AU of Breath of the Wild. “What if the Sheikah technology wasn’t lost? What would a high-tech Hyrule look like?” I’ll start off with Lost and Found, which starts roughly halfway through our story. Loved and Lost is first chronologically but I’ll post it second. Much like BOTW, my hope is to slowly reveal memories and plot points as they are recalled by Link. Once he gets his memory back, I’ll put Lost and Found on hold while posting Loved and Lost (the backstory). It means you’ll get left hanging for awhile if you’re reading it as I post, but (!!) the story is COMPLETE so there will be no hiatus or risk of abandonment. If you REALLY don’t like the order I post it in, just give it a couple months and then you can consume the whole thing in one go in whatever order you want.

3.       You’ve got this character relationship wrong/that’s not canon/well ACTUALLY its THIS I’ve combined the principal players from both eras in BOTW, so individuals who are supposed to be distantly related and 100 years apart are contemporaries. I am completely aware that this is absolutely not canon and I did it intentionally. Every ‘OC’ I’ve created to flesh out the world has a name stolen from some other LoZ side/background character, either in BoTW or older games, and generally that was just so the names were canonically Hylian and NOT to indicate this OC was that character, etc. For example, this Link’s Princess Zelda is meant to be the BotW Zelda, and NOT the one whose name she bears (that will make sense when we get to it).

4.       Trigger Warnings and Themes Much like canon, BotW Link is grievously injured and wakes up with no memories. We start off with a hospital scene and I do brush on some body dysphoria. There are discussions of PTSD and mental health. There is canon-typical death and violence, although with some modern arms & armaments (i.e. more bullet wounds and fewer gratuitous stabbings, the explosions stay about the same). Hyrule is militarized, but this is meant to mirror canon and is not intended to be social commentary. In world building I have given the non-Hylian races of Hyrule a little more biological diversity, such as making Gorons agender and Zora more fishlike. While this is a Zelink fic, they’re both bisexual disasters. There is a running joke about Link wrecking a motorcycle.  Author is an asshole and wants to make you feel things, but only out of love and never out of malice.

5.       Posting Schedule In the past I’ve posted every 4 days. Once a week is not enough, but trying to pick a specific day or days has always bit me in the ass. I’ll get a feel for this as we go. I haven’t edited this into chapters yet – its still two long ass word files – and I have a couple of scenes that happen in between that I haven’t yet decided where I’ll put them, so I do not have a final chapter count yet. Also a background character has turned into my new favorite (to rival Higgins as a throw-away who becomes a main character) and I might have to write her story on its own and post a part 3. Shit’s dark, though, so we’ll see whether I can do it justice. #mamalou