#i love when my fav dies but gets to live on through his wishes and the memory carried by the people he loved and who loved him in return

[crowlore]

TriMax Volume 10 Chapter 7 and a request left behind

[dottores]

HELIOTROPES: A SIDE STORY

pairing: dottore x fem!reader & segments

summary: the gods were sick and twisted. for five hundred years, he believed he was fated to be alone. he had long accepted it—embraced it, even. that is, until a midwinter night when that elusive red thread finally appeared on his finger. but as much as he wants to ignore it, the pull of a soulmate simply cannot be ignored.

genre: soulmate au, canon compliant for the most part.

warnings: fem!reader, worldbuilding, brief mention of alcoholism and implied child abuse (not to reader), totally unedited (didn't have time! sorry!) reminder that segment list is on the masterlist if needed!

notes: THE BDAY SIDE STORY IS HERE, sorry i couldn't get it out on time i've been so busy i literally did not have the time to format or do anything sobs but i hope u guys enjoy because i had so much fun writing it. i originally came up with the idea for milk's bday a few weeks ago hehe. i rlly love it because it gives more background into reader and some of my fav segments (minus theta </3 he didn't make it in this one. but perhaps i shall do a christmas side story and make him the star).

THREE TIMES THE SEGMENTS MET YOU WITHOUT REALIZING IT,  AND ONE TIME THEY DID.

I. THE KAPPA SEGMENT & THE EPSILON SEGMENT; READER, AGE 6

You were cold. Soft puffs of air left your lips, shaky and weak. You were curled up in a ball on the ground, and a part of you knew that you needed to move but you couldn’t bring yourself to, your limbs felt as if they were iced to the ground—maybe they were, you could barely even pry your eyes open to check. 

The storm had died down, brief and brutal as they usually were, but you had been unable to find shelter before it hit. The town had to be close, you could hear people leaving their homes to fix up their properties from destruction of the harsh winds. It was only a matter of time before someone spotted you curled up on the ground, you were wearing a bright purple cloak. Your mother would find you, she would come to your rescue, she’d bring you home and make some hot cocoa for you just like you guys used to do during the bad storms before your father left for Fontaine City. 

It felt like an eternity. It might’ve been an eternity, you couldn’t tell. All you knew was that everything was cold, and you felt sluggish and slow, and you were starting to struggle to breathe because the air felt like icicles scraping at your lungs. You were tired, you could feel yourself falling asleep but living on the northern border, you knew better—you had to make it somewhere warm before you fell asleep, otherwise you might not wake up. 

But you couldn’t move, you thought you should feel scared and you thought you should definitely be crying but you couldn’t even do that. And as the minutes passed, slow and agonizing, you began to question whether or not someone would find you in time. The more those doubts began to surface, the more appealing the relief of sleep became—at least if you slept, you wouldn’t have to wait out these freezing and harrowing minutes alone. You could dream of your mother and father, of Sylvie and Elliot, maybe you would even dream of your soulmate. You heard that some people who were favored by the gods had dreams of their soulmate well before they ever met. 

Your weak breaths began to even out as you gave into the lull, but just as you were on the verge of falling asleep, you heard it—the crunching of snow, fast and loud heading in your direction. You forced your eyes open now, whimpering as the ice and snow caked on your face ripped at your skin painfully, and through little slits, you watched a figure dashing toward you.

At first, you thought it was your mother, wishing you could cry in relief because of course she found you, she would always find you. She would always come to your rescue. She would wrap you up in her arms and cry at you for being such a fool, but you knew she would just be happy you were okay. 

But as the figure drew closer, you realized that it was far too small to be your mother—you thought maybe it was Sylvie or Elliot, rushing ahead to get to you and maybe your mother was right behind them, but again, you were proven wrong as an unfamiliar boy knelt at your side, red eyes wide and silvery-blue curls hanging in his eyes as he peered down at you. 

He pressed his hands against both of your cheeks, as if to warm you up, but you thought it might’ve made it worse, because with the small bit of warmth against your skin and the feeling of someone else’s touch after being alone so long in the blizzard, you found your eyes drooping shut again, being lulled to sleep far faster this time. 

At once, the boy ripped his hands away and you could hear him pulling off his own cloak. He wrapped it around you tightly tucking one of your arms inside the thick material but hesitated before stuffing your other arm in there too. You forced your eyes back open, watching as he stared at your hand in confusion, and you parted your lips to ask what he was doing but no noise left them besides a wheeze of cold air that had ice slicing down your windpipe and your body shuddering in pain. 

Noticing your reaction, he put your arm into the cloak. He stood up, and you wondered if he was going to try to lift you himself, or leave you, but then another voice reached your ears, loud and tired, calling a name that you couldn’t quite make out but it had the boy lifting his arms and waving them frantically. 

A few moments later, there was a new figure kneeling next to you, brows furrowed as he looked down at you. “How did you get out here all on your own in this weather?” he murmured more to himself than you, and careful to keep you wrapped up in the small one’s cloak, he took his own off and wrapped you in that one too, easily lifting you up into his arms.

He was a stranger, and you knew you shouldn’t feel so comfortable in his arms, but you couldn’t help the way you leaned into his chest, basking in the warmth and relief of having been found, even if it wasn’t by the person you wanted it to be. You started to doze off again but found yourself disrupted as he jostled you in his arms suddenly, eyes blearily reopening to give him a confused look. 

“No sleeping,” he warned, giving you a steady look before motioning for the boy to follow him as he brought you into the town.

He took you to the inn, bustling with people who had taken refuge from the sudden storm, and immediately the innkeeper recognized you, gasping as she hobbled over to the man and led him in the direction of the fireplace, shouting for people to go fetch your mother or stepfather. He placed you down on the ratty couch of the inn, keeping you nestled inside both cloaks before pushing it as close as possible to the fireplace. 

He stepped away and at once you felt cold again—not physically, but mentally. Empty in a way that you’d never experienced before. You wanted to tell him to come back but you still couldn’t speak, your throat hurt and your lips still felt numb. 

The boy lingered for a moment, standing in front of the couch and staring at you as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t—much like you.

“Come, Kappa,” the man who saved you said just as you finally began to drift off to sleep with the warmth of the fireplace next to you and the weight of their cloaks pressing down on you. “She will be fine. Delta is waiting, you know how he feels about wasting time.”

You could only watch them leave, confused as to the warmth you felt when you were wrapped up in his arms—you knew it was different than normal but didn’t know why—and Epsilon never noticed the thread tied neatly around your finger, which was hidden by his and Kappa’s cloak. Kappa, mute and anxious, was unable to force the words out of his mouth as Epsilon held his wrist and led him from the tavern away from you. 

II. THE IOTA SEGMENT; READER, AGE 11

You shuffled through the streets, sniffling and wiping at your eyes with baggy sleeves. You were getting odd looks from all around, wondering why an eleven-year-old was wandering around the streets alone wearing clothes that were far too big for her body. You had stolen Wriothesley’s jacket and gloves to cover your nice dress and the rings adorning your fingers, you probably should have taken them off before leaving the palace—the last thing you needed was for your mother to yell at you for losing her grandmother’s pearl ring and the city was out of control with pickpockets the past few months. 

It had already started raining, much to your displeasure, you remembered the prophecy that spoke of the day Fontaine City would be drowned by the gods and not for the first time, you wished that the day would just come already. You were so tired of dealing with your stepfather, and you hated the way he looked at you, and you hated how now he was even turning people against you and your father. 

You were supposed to have joined your mother and siblings in visiting your uncle for dinner, but instead, your mother had made an off-handed comment about how you should go spend some time with your father and grandfather instead, and you knew it was because your stepfather must have said something to your uncle. You didn’t know what, you had never been close to your uncle but you’d thought that since he was still family, he wouldn’t care for the words of an outsider.

But you should have expected this, in Fontaine, nothing came above the word of a person’s soulmate, Celestia’s gift to humanity. Of course he would believe your stepfather, because your stepfather was his sister’s gift from the gods—he only ever wanted the best for her, and he had somehow convinced your uncle that you, her own daughter, were not the best for her. 

Another sob bubbled at your lips, you pressed the sleeves of Wriothesley’s jacket to your mouth to muffle it. You wondered if your mother thought you were stupid, that you wouldn’t know what she really meant, but of course you knew. You spent too much time just observing people to not know. You didn’t have any friends to talk to besides Wriothesley, and Wriothesley was always busy. All you could do was sit around and observe until you got bored. 

Maybe you should have just gone to your father or grandfather and tell them what happened, but you knew if you did that, they would be livid and it would escalate things even more, and you were the one that would deal with the backlash of that, not them. So instead you went to Wriothesley, and stole his jacket and gloves, and refused to tell him what happened before you fled from the room to leave the palace. 

Just as you were about to turn the corner, you slammed into a figure and hit the ground hard, crying even more when mud splattered all over your face and into your mouth. You tried to wipe the mud off of your face through choked sobs but now the gloves were covered in mud too from you trying to catch yourself, and you only smeared it even worse.

“Oh.” 

It was a young boy who you had slammed into you but you couldn’t make out his facial features through your blurred vision. You were caught off guard when he was suddenly pressing his cloak against your face, using it as a rag to try to wipe off the mud. It didn’t help much, all he did was smear it around more because his cloak was drenched, but it had at least cleared your vision. 

“... Better?” he said hesitantly, looking down at you.

You sniffled a bit, using the clean part of Wriothesley’s jacket to wipe at your eyes before you nodded, but you didn’t stand up from where you were sitting on the ground. You didn’t want to. The boy leaned in a bit closer, frowning, “Are you… crying?” 

“I am not,” you denied immediately, but your voice betrayed you, cracking and breath shuddering over another sob. The boy looked suspicious. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not!”

“You are.”

“Not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“I am not!”

You glared at him. 

He glared back. 

Then he sat down in the mud next to you, plopping down hard and splattering mud all over you again. 

“Are you crying because you fell because of me?” the boy asked.

“‘m not crying,” you muttered, but with far less vigor this time. When he only stared at you, red eyes wide and earnest as he waited for an actual response, you finally said: “My stepfather is mean to me.”

“Oh,” the boy said in response, and the two of you just sat there for a moment, ignoring the way people kept giving you strange looks. Then, he reached up and patted your head, getting mud in your hair and on your forehead. Your brows furrowed as you stared at him, trying to figure out what he was doing, but he looked just as confused as you. “The Doctor pats my head when I get sad sometimes. It makes me feel better. Do you feel better?”

He drew his hand back swiftly into his lap, as if the single touch had poisoned him, and then you noticed how he was sitting with a large space between the two of you, the hand that had touched your head trembling and his body stiff. You wondered if he was like Wriothesley, Wriothesley used to get scared whenever people touched him, even just a kiss on the cheek or a pat on the head, and he never initiated contact with anyone else—you were pretty sure it was because his grandfather drank a lot, and when he drank a lot, he hurt people but whenever you asked your father, he said it was none of your business. But your father didn’t like Wriothesley’s grandfather, and you supposed that said enough, your father liked pretty much everyone. And then, realizing he might be like Wriothesley, you felt sad because he still tried to make you feel better even though he was scared. 

“I feel better,” you said quietly.

He smiled, brightening up a bit, but just as he was about to say something, you heard your name being called, loud and panicked. Your eyes turned up to where Wriothesley’s father was rushing through the rain in your direction, a few of his men following close behind. 

At his side, Wriothesley was with him, looking guilty as he refused to meet your eyes.

“Traitor!” you cried at Wriothesley as his father gently hauled you out of the mud to your feet. “I don’t want to go back there!” 

“He was worried, little one,” Wriothesley’s father patted your head, voice quiet as he spoke. “We all were. The city has been dangerous lately, you cannot go running off on your own. Your father just about had a heart attack when Wriothesley came to us and told us that you took his jacket and left the palace grounds.”

Wriothesley’s father pulled off the muddy gloves and coat to drape his own cleaner one over your shoulders—if he had been a second faster, maybe Iota would have caught sight of the thread tied to your finger before he ran off to get back to Delta. 

III. THE GAMMA SEGMENT; READER, AGE 16

You had made it your goal to attend every festival you possibly could across all of Teyvat. The music festivals of Fontaine were an easy tick to your list, but it had taken a lot of convincing to get your mother to agree to the Lantern Rite Festival of Liyue. With you, Sylvie and Elliot combined though, it was impossible for her to say no. 

It was all you’d been thinking about for days now, and as you walked over the bridge to enter Liyue Harbor, you thought the city might’ve been the most beautiful sight you’d ever seen, eyes drawing upon all of the decorations and stands—it was dark out already, but somehow the city was still completely lit up and alive. People were singing and dancing, chatting loudly and laughing.

It reminded you of Fontaine City before the curfews were set and you were confined to the palace. 

“Look at all of the lights,” Sylvie whispered excitedly, tugging at your arm as she pointed to the lanterns decorating each corner of every building. 

“They say that they release thousands of lanterns at the end of the festival into the air,” Elliot said, squinting as he dipped his head down to see the words of the book he was reading. “They send their soldiers traveling throughout Liyue to collect all of them after Lantern Rite ends.” 

“Do you think we’ll be able to release one?” Sylvie asked, bouncing in her feet as she turned to look at Elliot, who just shrugged. “Can we go explore? Please, mother.”

Your mother looked tired from all of the traveling, sharing a look with your stepfather before nodding. “We’re going to go check in at the inn we’re staying at. Be sure to meet back here before nightfall, we have reservations at the Xinyue Kiosk tonight.”

Delighted, you lit up, watching as your stepfather told Elliot and Sylvie to go buy themselves a kite from the Toy Shop before handing them each a pouch of mora. You should’ve known better, but still, you glanced at him after Elliot and Sylvie ran off in opposite directions. His eyes glazed right over you as he held your tired mother by the waist and led her off in the direction of the inn. 

Your smile faltered but you refused to let it ruin your mood—you were in Liyue Harbor during Lantern Rite. You weren’t going to let him make you sad, you had your own coins anyway that you got from tutoring the Beaumont kids. Instead, you rushed off across the bridge and down the street, in the direction of the main area of the city. 

There were people everywhere, all of the shops stayed open, your smile widened as you watched a bunch of kids Elliot and Sylvie’s age run around with kites in their hands, ignoring how the adults were chiding them for doing it while the streets were so busy. 

You peeked around at some of the market stands, tempted to try some of the food but you figured that you’d get yelled at if you filled yourself up before the reservation, knowing that your mother spent a lot of time and mora getting someone down to Liyue a few months ago to make sure you guys were put on the waitlist. 

Instead, you found yourself in front of a jewelry shop, looking through the glass windows at the gemstones perched up on pretty purple cushions. They were already sold out of Emeralds, Topazes and Agates, but they had a full stock of Turquoises, Jades, and Diamonds. Distantly, you wondered who the hell was going to buy Diamonds from the jeweler, knowing that the rest would at least be bought by people with a vision. 

Your eyes narrowed, and just as disappointment was about to hit you, you caught sight of what you were looking for:

Varunada Lazurite. 

Your gaze shot open in surprise—the gemstone was always sold out in the Land of Hydro with so many people who had hydro visions living within the city. You had managed to get your hands on three chunks the last time the shop near the palace restocked, even though you had to wait in a line for nearly twelve hours to make sure you were the first one there after the restock. You had thought you’d have to wait another month or two for a chance at obtaining the other three you needed. 

But right there were the three brilliant and shiny chunks of Lazurite you needed tucked in the corner of the glass box. Excited, you realized that you wouldn’t have to wait as long as you thought—once you got home, you’d be able to grab the three you already had and crush them down into dust with your father for the second-to-last vision ceremony, to give you the increased connection with your hydro energy that you needed to finally start learning your family’s passed down hydro art. 

Then, you would start the long process of trying to acquire the full gemstones, which were far more expensive and rarer than the chunks. 

“Unless you’re going to buy something, I suggest you move on. You’re holding up my customers,” the woman behind the stand said boredly.

“How much for the three chunks of Lazurite?” you asked, raising your chin. 

She only quirked her brow upward. “Forty geo sigils each.”

“Geo sigils?” you gasped, eyes wide and lips parted as your elation immediately disappeared. 

How were you supposed to get geo sigils? You weren’t a Liyue native, you had no way of knowing how to find them. You barely even had any Hydro sigils and you were from Fontaine. 

“You’re a foreigner?” the woman asked, squinting her eyes a bit as she looked you over. You nodded, and she sighed heavily. “Very well, seventy-five thousand mora. Each.”

You blanched, knowing in your heart that she was ripping you off. Forty geo sigils was worth closer to sixty-thousand than seventy-five thousand but you weren’t going to argue that when she was doing you a favor by taking the common currency for you already. 

Defeated, you asked: “Do you take bank checks?” 

The woman nodded, and you pulled out one of the Northland Bank check slips that your mother had given you a few months back—it was your stepfather’s, he was the only one that had a bank account with the Northland Bank, and you figured that he would be mad when he realized you’d spent over two-hundred thousand of his mora on your Lazurite chunks but you thought that he deserved it, and signed the check happily after making it out to Mingxing Jewelry. 

She handed you the bag with the Lazurite chunks and thanked you for the business. Smiling to yourself, you made your way down the street again, this time looking for Sylvie or Elliot.

You got no further than a few yards before someone slammed into you, sending you both sprawling out to the ground. 

All the air left your lungs as a heavy weight dropped onto your stomach, scrambling off of you almost immediately, panicked. Your eyes met a pair of red ones and a face flushed pink in embarrassment, burn scars decorated the upper half of his face and for a moment, you thought he was familiar from somewhere. He was around your age, you couldn’t help but notice.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “Sorry, I was just-I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m looking for someone and-”

“It’s-” You began to say ‘it’s fine’ but the words died on your tongue when you realized that the bag you were holding was significantly lighter. You shot an accusing look at him, thinking that he had pickpocketed you but as you did that, your eyes caught a glimmer from the corner of your eye. 

The Lazurite.

You rushed toward it, but not fast enough, only able to watch as a small child darted through the crowd to steal the shiny object.

“Hey!” you shouted angrily, glaring back furiously at the boy who had bumped into you, who looked even more humiliated now, pressing his knuckles against his mouth as if refraining the urge to gnaw at them. “Look at what you did!”

You didn’t even spare him another glance, ignoring his apologies and his offers to help you get it back as you gave chase to the child who had stolen your seventy-five thousand mora gem. 

You hadn’t noticed the warm feeling that had swept through you when he had crashed into you, nor had Gamma noticed the thin red thread wrapped around your finger in his panic.

IV. THE ZETA SEGMENT; READER, AGE 19

The Windblume Festival.

You smiled as you stepped into Mondstadt City, the beams of the sun washing over you and a gentle breeze sweeping through the city. You had heard that Anemo Archon makes the days of the Festival the most beautiful that the city sees all year—you had doubted it, partially because the Hydro Archon thought it was the greatest entertainment to douse the city in rain and storms whenever the music festivals were taking place. It never deterred them, the musicians would always play on even through the rain and thunder, but you had never quite experienced a festival like this, even during Lantern Rite, you had been unlucky with dreary clouds draped over the harbor. 

You didn’t even know where to go first, you were so overwhelmed with all of the colors and all of the people and you thought you shouldn’t be, you should be used to crowds by now, but you’d spent so much time locked up in the palace after your father’s death that you were getting anxiety just being in the vicinity of so many people. 

Your father. Your throat felt tight just as the reminder of him. He was supposed to be at Windblume with you—he had promised to bring you last year knowing how excited you were to see all of the nations’ different festivals, but he’d died before he could. You hadn’t even been able to bring yourself to go without him, but you forced yourself to go this year, to enjoy it for the both of you. 

And you couldn’t enjoy it with such a cloud of gloom hanging over you, so you squared off your shoulders and pushed away all of the dark feelings, forcing the small smile back onto your face as you made your way into the city, although it wasn’t quite as bright as before. 

You sighed as you made your way up the steps to the city’s main square. There were kids dancing to the music of a bard and flower stands set up all around the fountain in the center of the square. You wanted to buy one to give to someone, as per the Windblume tradition, but you didn’t have anyone to give it to. Sylvie and Elliot were supposed to have joined you for the festival, but their stepfather forbade them at the last minute, forcing you to attend the festival alone.

You looked around, eyes falling upon where a pretty woman with brown hair and green eyes was leaning into a tall blonde woman, and next to them, where a shorter blonde man was being dragged to the center of the square by a little girl dressed in red, who was pointing excitedly to a stand somewhere behind you. 

“Are you waiting on someone?”

You jumped at the unfamiliar voice, turning to the side only for your eyes to fall upon a handsome man with dark skin and blue hair. His lip ticked up a bit as you studied him, and a bit embarrassed, he added: “Sorry. I was just wondering, you’re not from Mondstadt, are you?”

“Is it that obvious?” you asked dryly, glancing down at yourself. You wondered if it was the way you were dressed or if it was the way you looked like a lost duckling trying to figure out where to go. Disappointed, you thought you had made sure to wear an outfit that leaned more toward Mondstadt’s typical fashion than Fontaine’s but either way, it was a bit embarrassing. 

“No,” the man said immediately. “I was just throwing it out there for a conversation starter, I’ve found it works wonders.”

“Does it?” you asked curiously, peering around the pavilion as more people began to wander around.

He hummed in agreement. “Usually, they start asking me why I think that because they are from Mondstadt,” you laughed a bit and the corner of his lip pulled up, “and if they aren’t, I explain to them why I asked, and then they laugh, kind of like how you are now.”

“You’ve got it all figured it out, don’t you?” you asked, letting the tease slip into your tone as you relaxed against the stone wall behind you, glancing up at him.

“Not at all,” he corrected. You gave him a questioning look and his grin widened a bit as he leaned in, as if to whisper to you in conspiracy. “I just made all of that up.”

You laughed louder this time, more in surprise than humor, but he seemed to take it as a positive regardless, straightening back up and looking down on you. “I’m Kaeya,” he greeted. “Cavalry Captain of the Knight’s of Favonius.”

“I’m…” you began, but found yourself trailing off as you caught sight of a figure ducking into an alleyway. All you caught was a head of silvery-blue hair, but somehow you could feel yourself drawn in that direction as if something was pulling you and were a puppet on a string that could only follow along. “Excuse me for a second.”

You didn’t hear his response and though you felt a bit bad about leaving him hanging like that, you were more focused on trying to figure out whatever the pull to this person was. You took off in that direction, relief hitting you when you realized he was still lingering at the mouth of the alley, fiddling with something in his hands.

“Excuse me,” you called, trying to get his attention. He didn’t respond, he didn’t even look up, so you repeated yourself as you drew closer, reaching out to touch his arm but he jerked away, dropping whatever was in his hands and your eyes widened as it hit the ground hard, shattering. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him, you could feel the cold and harsh gaze set on you as he waited for you to say whatever you wanted to say, but now you were at a loss for words because you didn’t even know why you came after him and you didn’t know what you wanted. 

“Did you need something?” Clipped and icy, the thin smile on his lips did not meet the red of his eyes, and any words that you might’ve been trying to say to excuse your actions died on your tongue. 

“I’m sorry,” you finally said, grateful that your voice remained steady even under his severe look. “You looked familiar. I thought we might’ve met before.”

He looked ridiculously familiar, in fact. You swore that you’d seen him before—the red eyes, silvery-blue hair and the scarred upper half of his face—it was all so familiar but you just couldn’t place from where. He looked taken aback a bit by your words, examining you for just a second before his lips twisted down again. 

“We have not,” he said, voice frigid as he knelt down to pick up the broken pieces of the object that he had been holding. It was a dismissal if you’d ever heard one, but instead of leaving, you knelt down next to him.

“Here, let me help-” you tried to say, but at once, he grabbed your forearm, fingers pressing deep into your skin to stop you.

At once, a jolt shot through you and he seemed to feel it too, if the way he drew back as if he had slapped had anything to say about it. He stared at your hand as if he had just seen a ghost, lips parted in shock and eyes wide, and just as you were about to ask if he was okay, he spluttered something out about being late for something and then he was moving, disappearing around the corner before you even knew what was happening. 

You sat there for a moment, stunned, and completely oblivious as to what he had seen.

Zeta’s heart was racing and his head was pounding, red eyes wide with disbelief as he leaned against a wall around the corner, far away from you. A part of him was embarrassed at the way he had run, he couldn’t even remember what excuse he had given—something along the lines of having to go because something important came up, a load of bullshit of course, but he thought it was better than what would have happened if he stayed there any longer after seeing that thread. 

The thread.

Zeta didn’t know what to think. He had known of your existence—he knew because the moment the Iota segment found out years ago, the boy went running to every segment to tell them how a thread showed up on the Doctor’s finger, how they finally had their soulmate. He never expected to meet you though, much less before any of the other segments, and even then, a part of him had been convinced by Lambda’s persistence that this was all just a ploy for them to drop their guards, a fake, a means to destroy them in a way they had yet to be destroyed. 

But you were there. You were right there. Zeta couldn’t help the way he peeked back around the corner, eyes immediately drawn to where he had left you in the middle of the alley. You looked upset, expression downcast as you glanced around, still trying to find him. A part of Zeta wanted to walk back over to you—talk to you, study you, try to figure out just who you were and why you were tied to them, there had to be something unique about you that made you their soulmate, that made them have to wait five hundred years just to meet you. 

But he knew better. 

The Doctor would already be suspicious. 

It wasn’t unlike Zeta to have bursts of emotion when dealing with too many people—he got overwhelmed quickly after spending years having to keep up a friendly mask at the Akademiya. No matter how hard he tried to keep himself calm and learn new methods for not exhausting his thin tolerance of social situations, he never seemed to be able to do anything to fix it, an unfortunate side-effect of having been created with this mindset, because he would always revert back to the one in which he was originally made in.

But it was not the sudden outburst that was the issue. It was that shock that spread through him when your hand brushed his arm. The warm feeling. The familiarity with someone who should not be familiar. The Doctor would have noticed it, and he would have questions.

Zeta sighed heavily, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he leaned his head back against the wall. He cast one last long look backward, eyes lingering on you, memorizing your face and your body, the outfit you wore and the gems that donned your fingers and neck. 

With a tight feeling in his throat, he pushed himself off the wall and head in the opposite direction of where you were standing, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the Doctor reached out demanding to know what had happened and Zeta needed to figure out what he was going to say before that happened, wanting to keep this little encounter a secret to himself because he knew that Lambda would inevitably find out through the Doctor and then he would try to hunt you down. 

One last look, he told himself, again. He glanced back as he reached another corner, the alley where he left you only barely visible from the distance, but you were already gone.  

[heatwa-ves]

pls yap abt ur fave jojo part 🎤

yippeeeee ^_^ okay so from fav to least fav it's 5/6/4/2/3/1 to me 4 and 2 are interchangeable. I haven't finished part 6 yet I have only a few episodes left but I don't want it to be over so I keep putting off finishing it...

part 5 is my fav because I just love the main cast sososososososoooo much it's definitely the strongest main cast of any of the parts imo I find them all so interesting and compelling and it's hard to choose a fav (it's fugo tho. sobs dies etc) the relationships between the characters are so good as well...

also trish I LOVE trish. she's everything she's such an interesting character I do wish she had more moments like her first scenes where she's an annoying teen and I would've loveedddddd a scene where she lashes out at the rest of the cast and kind of hates them because of everything she's been through she's suddenly taken from her life and thrown into a world of violence and it's not fair and she should've been allowed to be mad about it!! she does have a lot of really good moments tho ofc the part where she awakens her stand and everything leading up to it (on that note spice girl should've been used more I can only think of maybe two instances where she was used??) and also another fav is in the cioccolata fight where she talks to narancia about bruno it's really nice characterisation for all of them + you see more of narancias blind faith in bruno that ultimately leads to his death. semi related naratrish is really cute guys . ... straight people rights.

another trish moment I am deeply obsessed with is the purple haze feedback bonus chapter which is her visiting brunos grave and speaking with his mother. makes me stupid emotional. her becoming a singer post canon is soooooooo important music is a pretty big theme in the relationships between the main cast most importantly in this case is when fugo says (roughly paraphrased) "how can you throw your life away for this girl you barely know, you don't even know what music she likes" (fun fact in phf fugo goes on to talk about how he's not too fond of women he hates his mother and he doesn't like trish 😭)

ANYWAYYY wait I'm gonna talk about music more because. I'm sick. so there's stuff like abbacchio having headphones on in the first scene we see him and narancia having a stereo on the boat and then ofc the torture dance... it's fun and silly but also it's like. they're just kids. sobs. music is their thing all the characters have a listed favourite artist all the stands are named after music!!! and then my fav part this scene in phf .

so yeah trish becoming a singer is both a connection with her mother because they used to sing together and connection with the people who died so she would have a chance to live and a chance to move from her father's influence and have a bright future. I do wonder if she stays in contact with the survivors post canon I like to think she does with mista at least. maybe not giorno at first because that's all too raw and also I think he would discourage contact between them for her safety but maybe eventually. also another trish scene I like (well. She's not actually present for it) is right before the finale where bruno is dying and he can't tell people apart and he talks to doppio thinking it's trish and he promises her she can stay in his house if she has nowhere to go because he knows he won't make it home and he never does and she wasn't even there to hear him say that to her. sobs. I saw a hc that post canon she gets a tattoo around her wrist of a zipper in memory and I really like that idea

also it's insane to me that she is the ONLY female character in part 5. What? Huh? jojo had never been good with women leading up to this but I thought we were finally getting somewhere with diu and reimi yukako tomoko shinobu aya yuyas three weed smoking gfs etc but no. we're back to one again. she's a really good character but still. One. sheila doesn't count she's not in the main part. how are none of la squadra women. I hate la squadra but I would've taken it. I would've hated diavolo slightly less if he was a woman. but no. just one. well the intelligent among us (me) will know and understand that mista is butch but well. araki doesn't know that. Ah well at least we get jolyne next part. Also I just found out apparently giorno was meant to be a girl but arakis editor made him change it.. sigh.

speaking of la squadra can I just express how much I hate them. they're so annoying the only one I can tolerate is illuso and that's because man in the mirror & purple haze is my absolute fav part of golden wind and also he's somewhat interesting in his relationship with sheila and then her relationship with fugo in that he killed the man she had her heart set on taking revenge on because he killed her sister and forced her down the path to the mafia. I can't stand risotto he looks like a tokyo ghoul reject and yet everyone on tumblr dot com wants his dick. why. where is the appeal. he pisses me offfff and also it doesn't help that his stand at least the way it appears in the anime makes me like physically uncomfortable which is a little bit embarrassing it's a really cool stand I just can't watch the episode without feeling sick . and his name is RISOTTO how can you want a man named risotto. that would kill the mood in bed so fucking fast you can't call him that 😭😭😭😭 anyway I hate him moving on. I also hate diavolo and doppio sorry guys they're annoying and diavolo pisses me off bc his hair looks like a dragon fruit . the torture time loop was cruel tho giorno . just put him out of his misery. his lace shirt thing is cute tho at the very least. so yeah my main issue with part 5 is aside from the main cast I really don't like any of the other characters wait no. scratch that. I like squalo and tiziano they're cute. I hate all the others tho. melone is the worst by far to me and it bothers me how many people like him. he shows up sexually assaults a woman and then dies there is nothing to like. wait I take that back there is one thing to like and it's the tadashi harada x jojo thing LOOK. melone is the last one but can we talk about bruno?????? Hello???????????????????? im obsessed

Anywayyyyy I talked about trish for a bit so now im gonna talk about the other characters hopefully this won't be too long but. well. I like to talk. can u believe I was gonna talk about some of my opinions on other parts on this post it would be so long 💀 my endless hatred for part 3 can be a topic for another time

first of all bruno 💖 sorry to anyone who was following me in november of last year I swear I'm not normally Like That he's just the exception. combination of that fuckass bob and titty window and . everything . anyway I calmed down now only because I got my fix by actually watching the show not hoping mutuals would take pity on me and rb art of him onto the dash. i was so excited to see him and his narrative exceeded my expectations by far. died and came back wrong??? walking corpse that is slowly decaying??? saviour complex????? forced to grow up too fast???? I love thinking about his life in the mafia pre fugo as well as the early days of his own team... his relationships with all the other characters are sooooo interesting to me especially giorno I've talked about them before here

I love sticky fingers it's soooo cool he should use it more for making severed.hands come out of random kids mouths like he did in episode one. let him be a fucking freak again. not a fan of the stand design tho sadly but I guess they can't all be winners 😓 I think it's the blue it kinda throws me off like that's notttt the vibes. but what do I know. also shoutout to the actual album sticky fingers it fucks hard and no I definitely did not start listening to it because I was sick over bruno that is not why I listened to it at all. (it totally is)

I also love abbacchio sm like acab but.. at least he's not a cop anymore. shoutout to suicidal characters always my favs . I don't really know how to talk about him without just going ouughghhj he makes me sick in the head. he joined passione to have something to die for.. and he ended up dying not for passione but for his own cause (well. bruno's cause but he's so devoted to bruno that he'd do anything. let's talk about "I only feel at ease when im with you". Hello? phf also implies he's straight which????? this is Mr "I only feel anything if I'm following the orders of men superior to me" we're talking about. bdsm could save him)

he's haunted by the ghost of his past and well without getting too into my interpretation of stands I think it would be so cool if pre passione moody blues isn't fully there yet but he can see her in the corner of his eye sometimes in the form of his dead partner. speaking of moody blues she's soooooo cool most fuckable stand by far. I mean what who said that. she has such an awesome ability I wish it was used more she's so interesting to me bc her ability is the literal manifestation of his inability to move on from the past I like to think about their relationship.. to me stands have varying levels of sentience randing from like. power outlet. to echoes act 3. and moody blues idk I think she has some level of sentience. i think she stands there looking creepy and wet to get her point across and it works. anyway my endless thoughts on stands is a topic for another time back to abbacchio.

it's canon that he's the most physically strong of the team I would love if he had some fights. before starting the show I had only seen his design a couple times and I was sooooo convinced he had a long black morticia addams ass dress and nothing compared to my disappointment when I realised it was a coat thing. the purple lipstick is everything. I think a lot about his life post police pre passione as well as early passione days. finally obligatory mention that I like bruabba but I think it's most fun if it's onesided. abbacchio is 1000000% in love with bruno like that's not even debatable but I don't think it's reciprocated 💖 actually this reminds me there's one araki interview where he's asked if abbacchio loves bruno and he says something along the lines of "NO???? THEYRE NOT LIKE THAT. dio is tho. did you know dio is bisexual did you know dio likes men. sexually. did you know dio has awesome gay sex. abbacchio is straight tho" I wish I could find it again because it's so funny to me

I love narancia. have I mentioned that I love narancia. I love narancia. what can I even say other than I love narancia. best character araki has ever made 10/10 no notes I sobbed when he died. going into the last few episodes I knew two people were gonna die and I knew one of them would be bruno and I was just hoping narancia wouldn't die. and then he did and I was inconsolable uaaagghhhhhh giorno growing flowers over him.... he just wanted to go home.... he wanted to see fugo again.... the scene with fugo where he thinks he sees aerosmith I'll kill myself AFGHHHH. the scene in venice where he can't decide whether to go or stay.... him realising the similarities between him and trish... his backstory... his character design... he's literally perfect. did u know I love him. what else can I even say.

now mista. well you see. um. read this . I just think he's neat. I love his relationship with fugo especially post canon like. they were friends!!! I think they were both closer to narancia than to eachother but regardless they were friends and then fugos "betrayal" not that it was a betrayal but to mista it felt like that. especially because he then lost his best friend and can't help but think if fugo was here maybe that wouldn't have happened. and I think fugo has the same feelings if he was there maybe they wouldn't have lost so many people. and this drives a huge rift into their relationship you can see how they are at the start of phf that's another scene I really like and I think it would take a really long time for them especially mista to be in a place where they can consider eachother friends again and even when they do it will never be the same as it once was. also the sex pistols are great I love them.

now giorno. yesterday on instagram I discovered that there's a sizable minority of people who think he's boring 😭 and I feel the need to defend him. he's literally my little brother I love him . he's such a funny character he's fifteen and a mafia boss and his dad is an evil semi immortal bisexual vampire and that's not even the weirdest member of his family. he wears hot pink heart cutout suits. he's fine with robbery and gang violence and murder but draws the line at drug use. he's so serious that it's silly. he's fifteen. boy why are you running italys criminal underworld go hand in your homework

but then he's also an incredibly tragic character he has never ever been close to anyone all he's known is loneliness. and you expect me not to burst into tears????? he wasn't even particularly close with any of passione they were friendly aside from abbacchio because abbacchio is a bitch ass hater who has nothing better to do than pick fights with teenagers (he should meet rohan.. worlds most insufferable yaoi. gay sex would fix everything wrong with both of them so idk maybe they could help eachother out but they would absolutely hate eachother. Anyway.) the closest he is with any of the others is bruno like I talked about earlier but again they only knew eachother for a week or so and their relationship is founded on and primarily revolves around a shared goal. I do picture him getting very close with fugo post canon I would've loved them to have more interactions in canon but the final scene of phf fed me well so I can't complain too much. their personalities work well together I think whether romantically or not they can be the companionship they both desperately need.

not the point but his mother is also a deeply fascinating character to me I wanna see inside her brain. there's her understandable frustration at the loss of her youth due to a child she never planned for and lack of a support system but that frustration leads to complete apathy towards her baby. I don't think she's deliberately malicious she just doesn't care. I don't think she ignores him all the time she probably has moments where she plays with him or shows him to her friends like aww look how cute my baby is but more often than not she leaves him completely alone and that apathy is just cruel. her lack of care then develops into her turning a blind eye to her husband abusing him which okay maybe she didn't notice at first but it gets to a point where you can't not notice. so she just ignores it and tells herself it's strong parenting or whatever and continues gallivanting around living her best life like she doesn't even have a kid. she's awful but I can understand what led her to this point. maam let me into your head I wanna examine it

back to giorno let's talk about gold experience. one of the most interesting abilities in the entire series to me and it's used in such versatile ways similar to crazy diamond which I really like. the ability to Literally Create Life is sooooo everything don't even get me started on religious motifs. in the first fight against bruno gold experience is used to imbue more life into him and iirc that ability is never used again which is a shame. araki loves doing interesting things in the first fight and never addressing them again. I'm looking at you kakyoin. anyway cool stand moving on

now fugo!! so before going into part 5 I had some level of knowledge of the characters from tumblr + friends but I didn't really know anything about him and as I watched he was just kinda there I had no real opinion other than thinking the strawberry theme was cute but then we got to man in the mirror and I was like oh shit. I see the vision. the scene in venice where he chooses to stay behind is soooo good but I was expecting for the whole second half that he would come back and I was really surprised that he didn't but in retrospect that was definitely a good choice even tho im sad we didn't see more of him. his final scene where it cuts to him alone in naples for a minute is sooooo agjghhjhn and then of course there's phf. we'll get to that

I read that araki initially intended for fugo to be a spy for diavolo and giorno would've had to kill him and while that's interesting I'm glad it's not what he went with I think what we actually got is so much more tragic because no one is really in the wrong? but they hurt eachother and fugo has to live with the fact that he lost his friends because he wasn't there and nothing will ever be the same. It will definitely be hard for him post canon especially without bruno because bruno was the first person aside from his grandmother who he was close to and he lost them both!!!! bruno is the one who saved him and bruno is the one who told him they can't survive outside of passione and bruno is the one who told him his loyalty is to passione first and foremost so the events in venice feel even worse to fugo it feels like bruno betrayed him rather than him betraying the rest of them. it's not that fugo doesn't care for the others because he's put himself at risk for them before (man in the mirror etc) but he's very intelligent and rational and when he's not angry he will evaluate the risks of a situation before acting. and here he just can't fathom why bruno and the others would throw everything they have away for a suicide mission to protect one random girl. and then when it's just him and narancia and he feels like shit but at least narancia is there except then he goes on his whole trish is me and I am trish thing and leaves too and fugo just has to watch the boat leave!!!! there's a part in phf which I have to quote because I reached image limit

.

"Thinking too much...that's why I couldn 't get on the boat! The thought surprised him. He couldn 't get on the boat. Not 'didn't', but 'couldn't.' Was it true? Had he actually wanted to get on the boat? Had he wanted to go with the others? Deep down? But if that's true... That didn't sound like him at all. Buccellati had scouted him, counted on him to stay calm, pick the logical option, minimize losses. No, wait...wait...

The wheels were spinning now. Why hadn't he been able to get on the boat? Because nobody had expected him to. Who hadn't expected him to? Buccellati. But Buccellati had told them to get on the boat... No. No, he didn't say that.

"I won't order you to come with me. I won't even wish for it." Those were his words. That's why Narancia had begged him to order him on board.

So I...took him at his word? Since it wasn't an order, I... Without direct orders, he was expected to chose the course with less peril. Take no unnecessary action until the next opportunity was made clear. Was that why he'd been frozen to the spot? He’d felt like he’d made up his own mind, but had he really been robotically conforming to the common sense drilled into his head since he was born?"

.

agh. explodes. another thing I find really interesting is how he used to take on orders privately that he knew would hurt bruno and then eventually got abbacchio to help and he's been doing this since he was what. fourteen? thirteen? bruno had been in the mafia almost six years at that point he's reached a point where he's mostly desensitized to murder so what sort of shit would he not be able to take mentally? it's that which fugo took upon himself to do at such a young age what the FUCK.

fugo is so compelling to me he's a kid who's been hurt so much by everyone in his life and he doesn't know how to cope with that and he's so angry at the world and he can't control how he reacts so he lashes out at everyone. he reminds me a bit of my oc rayaan they're both so traumatised and react with anger because what else can they do. except rayaan then has to come to terms with being gay and in love with his roommate slash best friend who is Not Interested and meanwhile all fugos friends die. anyway. his stand is the physical manifestation of his own anger and self loathing and no wonder he hates it!!! can't imagine the pain of your soul being laid bare in front of you and all it can do is hurt. I think he internalises that to a degree his hatred of purple haze reflects his hatred of himself and the world but to a greater level because this is all the worst parts of him. BUT!!!!! at the end of phf when he bites the virus capsule murolo says "Stands reflect the owner's personality, when there's a shift in the psyche, the stand changes too." and then there's this passage which is everything to me

.

"Purple Haze. His own alter ego. A reflection of his own mind. Another Pannacotta Fugo. It was staring at him.

And for the first time, Fugo stared back. Had its eyes always looked like this? He felt the eyes had been more lonely, before.

Or was that an emotion he’d forgotten somewhere along the way?

Like the bacteria that fill our world, existing without our help, rebuffing all attempts to get rid of them. Something you didn't want, but were, for some reason, certain you could never be free of. A shadow of conflicted emotion.

It looked down at him, and he looked up at it. When he could no longer believe anything, and had nowhere else to go, it would always be at his side. Neither of them said anything."

.

he's grown so much!!!!! Im stupid emotional rn I need to reread phf in full it's what got me so obsessed with fugo as a character it's sooooo good. the ending... fugo calling giorno giogio... this illustration... the chapter title being "the soldier in love" which of course is referencing trish's song but also you can't tell me that's not talking about fugo especially combined with the final lines???? "I am yours, our giogio" and "Half a step," he said. "If you can't take a step forward, then I'll step halfway to you. Everything hinges on your decision, but if grief anchors your feet, then let me share it."

and THIS LINE??? "Only one person could do something about that. You. Pannacotta Fugo - you were the only person who could do something about this threat. The only person who can change your stand is you." literally what the fuck. sobs dies etc. not to sound insane but I love fugo so much his growth as a person makes me sooooooo emotional. In his last fight in phf he goes "Sheila is me, her anger is my anger" and I think that's a really nice line to summarise his character growth he's now understanding what made narancia chase after the boat sheila is also someone he doesn't know well just like trish was but he decides to risk everything to protect and fight for her he's grown so much in such a short period of time. And I love him.

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And with that I'm done!! I still have more to say of course but this is enough for now 💖 very quickly summary of my opinion on other parts

1. I'm gonna be honest all I remember about part 1 is it sent me and my friend down a rabbit hole of those thomas jefferson miku binder esque politician drawings.

2. I like joseph sorry everyone. caejose my world. araki doing gods work by putting them both in cute little crop tops half the time

3. part 3 pisses me off I have so much to say about it but that's a rant for another time. shoutout to holly kujo I luv her

4. I wasn't vibing with part 4 at first it's very slice of life which isn't my preferred genre but after kira shows up it gets REALLY good. I love josuke he's my baby brother fr. I love shinobu

6. jolyne save me FF save me jolyne save me FF save me etc. excited but also scared to finish it 💖

[evansbby]

✨my grey’s anatomy unpopular opinions✨

some of these may not even be unpopular but anyways

Cristina & Burke >>> Cristina & Owen

Burke wasn’t perfect but at least he realised he couldn’t change Cristina and so he did the best thing for both of them by leaving. Obviously leaving someone on the altar is shitty but like in the long run it’s a good thing.

Apart from that, as a couple they were so sweet like if you just watch old clips of them dancing and just living in their apartment and he’s all neat and she’s all messy but it’s just cute!!!

Owen is literally the worst. I don’t even need to explain this one. There were moments where I felt kind of bad for him but overall he is just the worst.

Teddy and Henry were such a cute couple, their story was so sweet and I wish he would’ve stayed alive so they would’ve been endgame.

The scene where Teddy comes home to find Henry throwing up blood on their sink 🥺🥺 When I tell you I cried so hard!!! To me they were top five couples of Greys idec.

They RUINED Callie’s character! She was so good and badass when she was first introduced and then they gave her the worst exit ever. I loved Callie but her last arc aka the custody battle really made me hate her.

Izzie is overhated! I love Izzie and she’s my fav character. Yes cutting the LVAD wire was wrong but she was desperate and in love.

Katherine Heigl (Izzie) CARRIED the first five seasons of this show especially season 2. Her acting was so brilliant, it’s insane. Actually, Katherine Heigl and Sandra Oh (Cristina) carried, and deservedly won Emmys and Golden Globes for their roles bc they were brilliant.

Izzie x Alex >>> Izzie x Denny. Izzex was THE Grey’s couple in the early seasons after MerDer. She changed him 🥺 he changed for her. Their wedding was beautiful, everything about them was beautiful except how she left him but I sort of understood after everything she’d been through. Just know it wouldn’t have panned out like that in storyline if Shonda didn’t have a problem with Katherine. But they got their happy ending in season 16 which I was SO happy about. My fav couple ever. Like I felt bad he left Jo but HE ALWAYS LOVED IZZIE MORE.

I feel like Lexie is overloved? I mean she was a really nice and funny character and she was lovely but why is she people’s favourite character ranked above Cristina and others??? Lexie’s storylines were never really big or important, why are you liking a character just bc they are nice?? Like Sandra Oh didn’t deliver such AMAZING performances for y’all to pick Lexie over her bc she’s “nice”.

CRISTINA WAS THE HEART OF THE SHOW! Which is why I stopped watching at the end of season 10 the moment she left!!! Her dramatic scenes, her comedy, her everything was perfect.

I honestly feel like the central relationship of the show was the friendship and bond between Meredith and Cristina. It was the crux of the show. It was heartwarming watching them be so close, almost telepathically connected without even saying anything.

George was VERY pick me in the early seasons, but he was a GOOD guy and it showed by his actions. Also the way he was so brave in a quiet way.

The scene with Izzie in her prom dress getting in the elevator and the doors open to reveal George in his army uniform showing he died WAS PEAK CINEMA. I CRIED SO HARD.

Alex was genuinely really mean to George up till George died and for no reason?!? He just didn’t like George at all and bullied him and it was uncomfortable to watch like bro it’s been five seasons WHY DO YOU STILL HATE HIM. Like Alex had started being nice to the girls by that point but he was still horrible to George??? I wish I’d seen their friendship develop.

DEREK was a dick. Like at the beginning. I just didn’t like him at all. He grew on me a bit but I honestly didn’t care that much that he died. He had his good moments but first three seasons he was a dick to both Meredith and Addison. I understand why with Addison bc she cheated on him, but he was so awful to Meredith when she was sleeping around and he basically called her a whore??? BRO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO REJECTED HER AND CHOSE ADDISON?!? Bye lmao

Bailey was SO good in the early-mid seasons. Like just so entertaining to watch and honestly Chandra Wilson is the third person who carried the show along with Katherine and Sandra. But she got annoying in later seasons.

But Bayley and Cristina in the shooting episode was top tier acting. You could FEEL their emotions through the screen.

Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t have the same magic anymore since Cristina left. I really don’t like any of the new characters like Maggie or even Amelia or any of the new guys. And OWEN IS STILL THERE WTF.

Besides that, here are some scenes where I felt like the acting was brilliant:

— When Cristina is performing surgery under gunpoint.

— Izzie when Denny dies. I think the best acting performance of the whole show. “An hour ago he was proposing and now he’s going to the morgue.”

— Cristina when Burke left her on their wedding day, “he’s gone, I’m free”

— Bailey in the shooting episode.

— When George remembers that he slept with Izzie when they were drunk. The scene doesn’t even have any dialogue yall, it’s just their EXPRESSIONS are so good. It’s my favourite scene in the whole show. It’s so emotional and dramatic and only a few seconds long.

— Probably others but I don’t remember.

[tariah23]

I wanna know why you're still reading JJK not because it's bad but bc I love seeing you rant about things you love

NATEjajajaaj tbh, I complain about everything I like and everything that I’ve said thus far about JJK, I still feel strongly about because I KNOW that it used to be written way better before but despite all of that, I can honestly say that I still enjoy it a ton. It’s so fun!? I can’t look away?!? I haven’t felt this way about a manga, especially a shounen of all things, in… I really don’t know (I kind of don’t like to count csm since it’s still a seinen to me…). Jjk is joining the ranks of my love for Naruto 🙈……. As absurd as that might sound, it makes me feel nostalgic despite not being that old!!!

It definitely deserves all of its praise as well and I’m not just saying this just because I’m a fan. If it didn’t, I’d definitely say otherwise. I’m glad that everyone is fucking with it! It just made the  Guinness world book of records the other day, I kind of want to throw up 😭. Knowing how Gege’s been writing the story lately, he probably doesn’t give a shit. He just wants to finish JJK as soon as possible so that he could get back to doing fuck all. Well… good for him. But, I’m genuinely glad that I got into it! The fans are annoying but that’s to be expected from a mainstream shounen unfortunately. It’s so nice ignoring them though. That’s the only way you’ll be able to enjoy something as big of a series like this tbh.

All of the characters that I’ve liked or loved never got to the point where they were written horribly like, I can say that Gege has remained pretty consistent in the characterization department, which is a plus, since whenever I get into stuff, I tend to pay a lot of attention to things like this especially. Yuuji is still Yuuji, Sukuna is still that petty old bitch, Gojo remained as silly and courageous till the very end (even tho I still wished that Gege could’ve focused more on Gojo’s trauma… it would’ve been nice to see him overcome the burden of being the apex of the jujutsu society… he was so much more than an idol and he still died believing that that was all that he was. Someone who was so far removed from humanity that he continued to tell himself that this would be all that he ever was and that even if his friends and peers truly did love and respected him, they’ll never learn to “understand,” him because he’s so much more powerful than they were. Their lives would never be the same. And he could never make any of them truly happy in the end. I really HATED THAT Gege let that man go to that DAMN airport still holding onto to his loneliness like this 😭😭😭… and then when you think back to that one scene in the story where various other characters were asked about their feelings towards Gojo, and all most of them had to say was that “he’s the strongest,” I just… :(… Obviously, he’s well respected despite his personality but 😭… Gege, you will burn for this-

I do enjoy how ridiculous JJK can get as well. People can talk badly about it all they want but you can’t say that it’s predictable lmfao. This looney toons ass plot 😭!!! I’m kind of here for the shenanigans. It’s been pretty repetitive as of lately though. Mainly the whole Sukuna vs everyone thing that’s been going on starting from Kashimo (his dumbass) right after Gojo’s death… but it’s okay. Outside of my favs being slaughtered left and right 👎🏾☠️. You can tell that Gege is just rushing through the story now though :/. I kind of can’t wait for it to end but I’m still enjoying the ride until the wheels fall off! I want Yuuji and the rest of the gang to be able to enjoy the rest of their lives, man… Gege wrote JJK with a chip on his shoulder 😭.

[eggsyondaside24]

I just finished making an animatic about Haymitch w the song “Bug Like an Angel” by Mitski, but Alight Motion is being fucking stupid and won't let me export shit. So in the meantime I’m gonna be breaking down the lyrics of the song and how it connects back to everyone’s favorite sad clown.

There's a bug like an angel stuck to the bottom of my glass with a little bit left

If we wanna follow the religious themes of this song, this could connect to Lucifer, a fallen angel, and the singer. They were both good and well-adjusted people, but became gross and bad or smth after “falling into temptation” (in the singer's case, becoming addicted to alcohol). Haymitch is a very smart dude and could've had a good life, especially with the influence given to him as a victor, but having gone through some insane trauma, he became a joke and “screw up” instead. Also I drew this part of the animatic with a bug literally being in the drink instead of under the glass like Mitski intended lol. 

As I got older I learned I’m a drinker. Sometimes a drink feels like family 

In my HC, Haymitch's descent into crippling alcoholism sort of crept up to him throughout a long span of time instead of the usual “diving head first into a sea of alcohol the moment his family dies” thing I see a lot of people portray it as. He’d try to deny he’s an addict, but as he grows older and his addiction becomes debilitating, he accepts it. He does jackshit about it tho because drinking and being drunk brings him comfort, probably a similar sense of comfort that his (you guessed it) family or community brought. The lyric could also be referring to the singer’s family being prone to addiction, and since I’ve got a HC that Haymitch’s alcoholism was hereditary (cuz why not), it also fits really well with this interpretation in mind.

Hey, what's the matter? Looking like your sticker is stuck on a floor somewhere.

As a kid, Mitski was a huge sticker collector, and the thought of her beloved stickers being abandoned and mistreated on a random floor made her feel sad. A mitski-less interpretation is the singer's heart or even the singer itself being the sticker, getting stuck in a place where they’re getting hurt. Again, both interpretations fit Haymitch. For the former, it relates to him by how he cared about his community, so watching them die every year in horrible, brutal ways made him feel a little sad to say the least. For the latter, it relates to him in the way he’s stuck being a mentor, watching kids he’s expected to look after die year after year.

Did you go and make promises you can't keep? Well, when you break them, they break you right back

This is my fav, mostly cuz this can have 3 completely different meanings if you see this song with him in mind.  1. the original meaning, aka swearing to be sober but end up relapsing, making the singer feel like dookie 2: Haymitch “promising” the loved ones of his tributes that he’ll bring them home, only for them to be consistently killed off. The responsibility of so many lives and families weighs on him, and it makes him feel hella guilty for letting so many people down. If you wanna get hella angsty, maybe D12 felt the same. They thought Haymitch could be a huge help to bring more kids back home compared to the 40 years of D12 tributes not having a mentor, but he couldn't, and it makes some people resent him, making him feel even MORE shitty!! 3: Here’s my favorite version: HIS PROMISE TO KATNISS AND PEETA!! He promised that he’d save one of them over the other, especially swearing to Katniss that he’d prioritize Peeta. In the end, he couldn't and saved Katniss instead because she’s a more popular figurehead for the rebellion. It obliterated his relationship w Katniss for a while, and I can imagine it fucked Haymitch up too that he couldn't save his precious bread boy. I can probably go for another hour defending Haymitch over this decision, but that’s another yap sesh for another time!!!

When I’m bent over wishing it was over—making a variety of vows I’ll never keep—I try to remember the wrath of the devil was also given him by God.

This lyric has 2 meanings. 1) the singer’s suffering is part of God's plan to make them more resilient and 2) God is being a dick and screwing them over so there's really no point in begging. And guess what? BOTH MEANINGS APPLY LOL I’ll start off with the latter. God in this case is the government, especially Snow, since he has a similar kind of power that God holds. Haymitch believes that all his misery is unending, unstoppable, and meaningless, so there's really no point in being optimistic. He should just lie down and wait for liver failure to take its course. THEN Katniss and Peeta come along, which flips his entire world upside down. This could connect with the optimistic interpretation. Haymitch’s 23 years as a victor were given meaning because of how integral they were to the rebellion. Maybe K&P had to show up at just the right time for their impact to be its greatest and for the rebellion to spark (timing that God would have planned), so all that waiting around and suffering was worth it. Haymitch probably doesn't know who tf God is anyway but it's still a fun thought.

In conclusion, Suzanne Collins possessed Mitski in her sleep to write a song about Haymitch and only I’ve been able to decode it because I’m obsessed with him and Mitski’s music in equally deranged levels. Y’all should listen to the song btw its great. Honestly, it took me a couple listens to warm up to it but it really is one of my favorite Mitski songs :>

Yk what while we're in the subject of Mitski songs that fits Haymitch, here's a quick list of songs (which aren't necessarily made by Mitski) I associate w that guy

I Bet on Losing Dogs- Not as well as Bug Like an Angel ofc, but if you view the losing dogs as Haymitch's tributes then shit makes sense a lot more.

Cool About It (Boygenius)- HAYFFIE and a bit of Chaffnathy! I accidentally wrote an essay so maybe I'll make another post yapping about this song, but just know that the 1st verse is Chaff's, the 2nd is Haymitch's, and the 3rd is Effie's.

Over and Over (Rio Romeo) and Alcoholic Friends (the Dresden Dolls)- Both about addiction again, so naturally its Haymitch's song now lol

[yiifu]

till the end of the moon random musings

needed to get it all out of my system after speed bingewatching like 26 episodes over the weekend so here goes the word vomit

carnival float scene

i keep going back to rewatch that carnival float scene when ye xiwu and tantaijin are acting out the skit of the killing of the devil god ... the music is so fitting (it’s probably my fav song in the entire ost) and the whole thing feels like foreshadowing? it’s a near-perfect summary of the entire story in one scene. when she takes his mask off but her mask stays on it’s like she sees and knows everything about him but he doesn’t know her at all. she knows all his intentions and what he will become. tantaijin is so sincere in his feelings at that moment but she’s still hiding her feelings and intentions behind her mask. same thing with the wedding ceremony and the veil - she’s still hidden, but he’s sincere. and he can’t see her so he doesn’t know.

wedding scene

also, like, wow. the ep 26(?) wedding scene was, as someone on tumblr put it, like ‘watching a car crash in slow motion’ even the date was wrong (ominous). the whole time i was shaking my head to myself while watching tantaijin look the happiest he’s ever been (like even though he wants her in a twisted way, u still gotta feel bad for him somehow, he was really so happy and put in effort to embroider the veil, etc.) the knives were all out here, i knew it was coming and it’s going to get worse once we get to the aftermath right. (i last stopped at the wedding scene right before she drives the nails into him.)

mingye/clam arc

is it just me or am i seeing so many parallels between this arc and the real lives of the protagonists? mingye and sangjiu played by the main couple. xiaolin dies. sangjiu turns evil and goes back for revenge which is almost like what li susu is doing to get back at the devil god before he turns evil. mingye and sangjiu end in tragedy, which is the same outcome for our main couple in the first half. tianhuan being a scheming evil person in general like bingchang. also the fact that xiaolin and li susu/ye wuxi were really martial siblings in li susu’s life, just like they were clam siblings in the mingye arc.

one thing i still don’t understand yet: why did ye xiwu keep wanting to go help xiaolin escape the prison? was it just because she cared for him more after being siblings in the mingye arc? or because her was her martial brother in her first life? or was it also something else? i feel like i missed a bunch of motivations here lol 

xiaolin and tantaijin

so many things to unpack for xiaolin and tantaijin’s r/ship - right from their childhood to adulthood. you could see them as brothers in a way, like what xiaolin said in his letter. idk what they really feel about each other either - seems like xiaolin’s a little regretful, judging from his last letter. also taking into account parallels with the mingye/clam arc where they’re not even on the same side (clam family vs mingye/gods), and in the end xiaolin’s alter-ego is also dead, but not directly by tantaijin’s/mingye’s hand. unless xiaolin gets a second chance later on in the story, the two of them were never going to officially reconcile/fight together. gonna have to see what others said about this because i don’t even know where to begin organizing my thoughts about them LOL

pian ran and ye qingyu

really glad for pian ran and ye qingyu - i had to skip through some of their scenes due to a lack of time but the gist i got was that they got the chance to be relatively transparent with each other esp about pian ran’s past, and pian ran even got her love thread back (yay!). also her decision to stay in the city, both to be with ye qingyu and also to serve tantaijin, was pretty rad. wishing nothing but the best for this couple.

ye bingchang

ye bingchang .... she’s not typed on personalitydatabase but if i had to give her a type i’d guess she’s an infj, albeit a severely misguided one. basing it on another character who’s closest to her in terms of goals and the way they handle people - jin guangyao from mdzs who’s generally agreed to be an enfj. bingchang has a goal/vision of what she needs to survive (Ni) and uses Fe (manipulation of people) to achieve that. with jin guangyao, similar need to protect themselves, value themselves above others, very, very good at manipulating people by saying the right words, have attempted murder, villain origin backstory of having been mistreated by others for being of a lower social status, etc. 

also mbti with ye bingchang and tantaijin

i keep talking about mbti but i’m no mbti expert, just really love using it to understand people. if you compare bingchang with tantaijin you can see they both have kinda similar methods of doing things? - manipulating people towards some common goal through a careful plan. it’s just that ye bingchang’s is purely for personal gain while tantaijin wants personal gain but also accounts for the wider society as well. 

ye bingchang (infj): main goal of protecting herself (Ni). executes a plan to manipulate people to make it fall into place (Fe). able to adapt her behaviour to the people around her (Fe, Se?). uses whatever means necessary.

tantaijin: main goal of controlling and reuniting the two kingdoms to create peace (Ni), reduce the same kind of suffering he felt in his personal life (Ni, Fi). executes a plan to outsmart his enemies and recruit people (Te). uses whatever means necessary but also has some internal moral code he follows (Fi).

based on what i vaguely recall about the way tantaijin and bingchang convince people, there’s also a difference. bingchang is very value-oriented (asks ye xiwu to have pity on her, to not compete with her for tantaijin, justifying her actions using the universal value of justice for those who suffer unjustly, she uses universal values like compassion and pity, love, etc. to convince people, it’s giving Fe). 

tantaijin uses a lot of psychological manipulation too - knows how to talk people into having no choice but to follow him, knows how to use scare tactics without being actually mean (e.g. the tonic pill he gave pian ran to swallow, threatening to kill those ministers who didn’t want to come teach him just to scare them) his manipulation is a different brand from bingchang’s but just as effective.

but compared to bingchang, i feel tantaijin is a lot more practical in manipulating people. if i recall correctly he usually resorts to logic to convince people (or fear of death lmao). making people understand that they have no other way out of the situation and the only plausible way is his way. e.g. bringing ye xiwu back to him after she helped xiaolin escape. he doesn’t plead with her to come back because he’s lonely and loves her etc., that’s what a high Fe user might do. instead he uses action and rearranges the environment to suit his plan (Te) he makes her kill xiaolin, makes her hated by all so that the only logical way she can get out is to flee back to him. he’s in the depths of emotional turmoil by that point but he still resorts to hard force and objective control (Te) to keep ye xiwu by his side so he can relieve his emotional frustration and loneliness

might write another thing on a comparison between him and william james moriarty from moriarty the patriot (also an intj commanding a group of loyal people towards a vision) later on, just to sort out my tantaijin intj agenda when i remember

the main pairing

going back to our main pairing, what i’m getting out of this is that the two of them can never be together in this configuration, i.e. with him as the emperor/future-devil-god and she as his so-called assassin. they were never going to work out like this because there’s too much to lose and too much going on for them to work anything out properly. (also given that both of them don’t seem to be people who prioritize emotions very much in their decision-making). 

luo yunxi’s portrayal of tantaijin is so good, he manages to get that crazed-obsessed-yet good-looking character archetype down pat. truly deserving of the main character title. i keep thinking of that tweet which goes “but he murdered people. so? and he looked good doing it” etc.

for now li susu/ye xiwu’s feelings are still very murky (maybe some others might read her as already having fallen for him but still being bound by duty and fear and anger and other things) but for me it’s still difficult to figure out what exactly she’s feeling. gonna go look at some analysis posts on tumblr to understand what i’m missing.

to go off on a tangent (because i like to think of plot stuff in relation to tropes in other things), it’s sort of like wei wuxian and lan wangji in wwx’s first life. war was going on, wwx had too much to lose and his head wasn’t in the right place. the two of them were never going to work out in that first life no matter how hard they tried. only after wwx’s resurrection did they (more on wwx’s part) have time to bond and sort out their thoughts and feelings properly in a time of relative peace and stability, when the stakes weren’t as high. 

similarly, tantaijin and yewuxi need that second half of the story, when stuff isn’t as high-stakes (no war going on) to sort everything out between them.

extra: characters who won my heart

pian ran - temperamental fox girl who just needs a break, still does her duties well, treated by tantaijin like a whiny younger sister or student, ye xiwu’s wingwoman

pang yizhi/scholar pang - literally the only carefree soul in this entire angst-fest (if it matters, he feels very enfp to me), would be fun to hang out with, the perfect foil to xiaolin, somehow managed to get on the wrong side of tantaijin alongside xiaolin and escaped unscathed, he’s here to assist and watch the show and fly back to the immortal world of daozhangs after it ends

gan baiyu - speaking of someone who’s always watching the show, who could forget the ever-loyal gan baiyu who’s stayed by tantaijin’s side as he rose to power? who stood by when tantaijin was throwing all his tantrums? best boy honestly

really looking forward to the second half/arc (?) of the drama after the 500 years!

[cctine]

Even if TEMPEST | Otome Game Review

Hii!! Cheers to my second review 🥳

‼️ BEFORE YOU READ THIS: BEWARE OF SPOILERS!! MASSIVE SPOILERS ‼️

Okay okay so this has to be one of my FAVS!!! AHHH like I wish this otome was longer 😩 I love how intense and every sec puts me in the edge of my seat. The plot was SO CAPTIVATING FOR ME and even the characters. There wasn’t a lot of romance overall but the plot makes up for it! I’m the type to like the plot over the romance and this otome definitely did it for me! I loved the heroine, she’s so strong and brave and it made the whole plot so much better with her being her. The guys were *chefs kiss*. They were finneeeee.

Basically to summarize it in my words (not the best of summarizing)… she lives in a household where she was neglected and bullied all her life by her family. She lives in this run down room but one day she gets told that she will marry this crown prince (Conrad) but ends up dying in her *first life*. She meets this kid in the afterlife (?) and he tells her to help him catch the witch of the ruin (aka the villain of the game) and gains the ability to rewind time. Through all the rewinding, she makes friendships, relationships, etc. But in every route, we see so many crazy events that happen with the other side characters. We are immersed in a dark fantasy world filled with intrigue, mystery, and romance~

There are 4 love interests:

CRIUS CASTLEROCK

TYRIL I LISTER

ZENN SORFIELD

LUCIEN NEUSCHBURN

The recommended route to play: Crius ➤ Tyril ➤ Zenn ➤ Lucien ➤ ???

The route I enjoyed from most to least: Zenn ➤ Tyril ➤ Lucien ➤ Crius

⏳ Crius

Soooo he was the first route I played and woweee he sooo fine heheh but I overall did enjoy this. I do not remember much since I did play this game a while ago but all I remembered was how protective he is. He is also popular with the ladies and her mentor teehee. But there was this scene where he asked the heroine to take care of a bird and she finds out the girl bird is pregnant. There wasn't a lot of romance but it was a great start to the whole plot itself. The ending was so sad aaaaaaa!! When you finish his route, you get thrown into Tyril's route :)

⭐️ Rating: 2/5

⏳ Tyril

OH YES I LOVEDDDD his route so much. He is the investigator (not sure what the right name is called) but the person that judges and holds the investigation. He looks mean but he is sweet and is only sweet to her. He slowly falls in love with how fast and well she works and oh mah goodness... we find out he’s some ninja and he works with Conrad (this ugly spoiled prince that kills our girl in her first life). The reason is because he is devoted to following the descent of the goddess or something (but we find out Conrad and his family are FAKES). Sorry, I do not remember a lot but the gist of it 😭 The ending was so sad for him... :( but omg at the end of the game, when he finds out that she’s the goddess, he was so shocked and his attitude changed so quickly BAHAHA he’s so polite to her at the end.

⭐️ Rating: 4/5

⏳ Zenn

HANDS DOWN MY FAV!!! And look at him. HE SO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING LIKE 😻😻! I was interested in him from the start because every time our girl rewinds, he would switch his roles. Turns out he remembers EVERY time the time rewinds and at first he thought our girl was the witch or working with the witch of the ruin. But no instead he falls in loveeee with her and tells her that he is from a different world (aka Japan). He protects her when she falls victim to the witch and helps her win the witch trials hehehehhehehe I absolutely loved him. He also can’t die because he is stuck in the world and has been trying to find his way back home. I think he was a baseball player (correct me if I’m wrong since my memory is hazy). But he is mah man 🙌

⭐️ Rating: 5/5

⏳ Lucien

AWWWW the prince. He dies so many time when I was playing the other route but you reach him last due to the plot. He have always liked her because they were childhood friends. At first, we saw him as a weak and crybaby prince but as you progress the route, you notice Lucien started to change and became more of a leader and fit for the throne. He is wholesome and cute 🥹 and I just wish there were more cute scenes with them together!

⭐️ Rating: 3/5

⏳ ???

This is just the common end once you finish all the routes but 1. I HATED CONRAD >:( and 2. Maya is so cute and I love her. Maya is her maid and she been through thick and thin for Anastasia. The ending was basically the witch of the ruin loses and our girl meets the goddess and was like I am my own person, I am not like you, which is so BADASS (I love her so much) and yeah perfect ending. I lowkey want a route for the witch of the ruin because he saur fine and all he wanted was the goddess to come back. He a loyal boy but uhhh his ways were odd HAHAH. But I loved this game so much and I could not put it down!!!

⭐️ Overall Rating: 5/5 <3333

Gameplay hours: 20+ hours

Soundtrack: 5/5

Art: 5/5

[stayxlix]

helloooooo!!!🩵🩵 moving was pretty difficult, but thankfully, some of my friends helped and etc and now I'm ready to start anew!!

AKWKEHEG i'm just so so so glad that you've actually decided to endulge me with this trope😭 😭 I can't even explain just how excited I am to THOROUGHLY read the next chapter (and ALLLLL the other ones to come) and haha yes I'm pretty much also living for any media that include romance, buuut like I said, angry love confessions and angry passion just really do it for me🤭 and you're so right! Having a happy ending really makes me feel like crying all those times and screaming into my pillow was really worth it😭

I'm really glad you're happy that I said otde is my fav way to get rid of excessive stress, bc it really is!! I honestly want to find every single thing that could make you happy and just give it to you bc you're just so nice and ahaiwiowowjw

AND DID YOU JUST YOU VALUE MY OPINION THAT MUCH?!?!??! I ACTUALLY CANT DI THIS WTF ALEX WJY ARE U SO NICE HELP ME I'm so unbelievably glad that I can talk to you like this and try to make you feel the love for you and your story and blog, even if it's just through asks (for now!! I'm trying to build up my courage to finally text you and not do it like this by being anonymous) and I honestly wish I could give you a real life hug, I just wanna squish you and qjqjwhegejqo1 😭😭💗

I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE MOODBOARD!!!!!!*×*×[×[2[2> And YES I PUT A LOOOT OF THOUGHT INTO IT BUUUT I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED MAKING IT AND I'M JUST SO FREAKING GLAD YOU LIKE IT HELPBMEKAJQ i really tried to put in what i feel when i readd otde, so i'm just really glad that you can see what I meant and it makes me even happier taht you actually like it and even SAY THAT IT'S THE PERFECT VISUAL JOURNEY FOR OTDE AND THAT IT'S THE EXACT VIBE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH OTDE??? OMFG I CANT DO THIS I AM ABOUT CRY

and yes, I will gladly talk to you about every single pic that I've decided to add, and hopefully it'll be very VERYYY soon bc I am pretty close to dming you😭🩵 and I'm in the middle of the red version already, so I'm even MORE excited to share it with you soon!! (Possibly through normal dms🤭🤭) I AGREE!! i would like to announce, that now it is canon that mc wears red Vans bc it reminds of Felix (she probably wouldn't admit it at the beginning but we KNOW) (and, why do I feel like otde Felix is the type to get something related to mc tattooed?? Maybe just a small thing like her fav flower and on his wrist somewhere so that he knows she's always somehow with him😭 or if she gave him a bracelet, he'd literally NEVER take it off like no matter what... and I feel like he'd also be the type that wears EVERYTHING related to her proudly [and probably gets a bit too turned on when he sees that she does the same] okay I may be ranting a bit too much now... i need to stop)

I'm extremely glad that the new chapter is coming along nicely!! I'm soooo anticipating it and I'll definitely have so much motivation to make something that I don't even know with what new creation of mine we'll end up with☠️😭 aaaand i'll so let you in on a little secret, I love LOVE LOVE LIKE WITH MY WHOLE SOUL LOOOONG STORIES like give me 35k words and I'm eating ALL OF IT UP. especially from you?!?!?!? But i wish you so so much good luck with the finishing up/ just writing in general!🩵🩵 don't feel any pressure to finishing it! I'll honestly wait however long is needed without any problems if it's otde🩵

And thank YOU for being so wonderful!🩵 I'm so happy to be writing another ask again💗 your answers also mean the world to me, and I love sharing the excitement and happiness I hold for not only otde, but also you🩵 Hearing that what I make for you/otde is a source of motivation truly makes me so happy that I can't even put it into words, thank you for existing, honestly!🩵

I now find myself thinking about you when I'm writing and wondering if you'll like where the story is going or certain parts etc. etc.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDUNG ME?!??!?!?! I LITERALLY XANT DO THIS IM SO CLOSW TO CFYING LIKE ARE U SERIOUS RIGHT NOW THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME ITS ACTUALLY UNREAL PLEASE

Our interactions also mean so so much to me and YOU make all of the time spent reading, and creating thinks for you/the story so so worth it that I wouldn't even imagine it being unworthy, really, I know I've said this before but finding this story/ you and your blong has genuinely made my lately life better and happier💗🩵 I am also so thankful to have you as a friend and to see what you create with your beautiful writing🩵

And yes!! Honestly, though, who wouldn't have a crush on otde Felix?! I also sometimes need to take a break and make myself that, unfortunately, otde Felix is not real anywhere else than our minds and hearts😭 (ps. I am now extremely excited for next week and am omw to add some songs to the playlist, and work on the red version of the moodboard bc I'm so glad that you are excited to see it😭😭)

This was also VEEERY long so hopefully you've survived through this (and yet I still have so much more to say help me) i'm sending another hug right back to you! Stay safe and take care, have the best rest of your day and good luck with everything!!🩵🩵 i love you just as much!!

hi hi hiiiiiiii🩵🩵🩵 im so sorry i wasn’t able to respond until now, i had the most hectic weekend!! i went on a roller coaster for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever been so happy and terrified all at once before😂😂 (although i do love a good scary movie lol). but im so glad you had good friends to help you move, i know from experience that it makes all the difference :) starting anew is one of my favorite things about life!! even if it can be scary sometimes, it sounds like you’ve got a wonderful support system there with you<333

are you kidding me?!? i LOVE talking about tropes like the one you sent, it resonated so much with me (as does everything you say lol) angry love confessions? YES. angry passion? YES. and a happy ending to wrap it all up?? SIGN ME UP. (btw i like how you mentioned screaming into your pillow because this has also become a regular occurrence for me while writing this story😂) but the fact that you said you’re excited for the new chapter makes me that much more excited to share it (although i am a bit nervous, but what else is new lol) it also makes me want to take even more care with every single word that i include (much like answering your asks lol) im a bit particular about it and it makes me feel really good to know that you want to read it thoroughly because it makes the time spent writing all worth it🥹🥹 (even if it does end up being 35k words lmao) at least i know you’ll still be willing to read it all🥹because ill let you in on another secret, a little over halfway through i checked and it was at like 12k words????? help🙃 and the middle is still a bit of a mess but im really really stuck on my goal of putting it out some time this weekend, so we’ll see.🤭 ive considered splitting it up, and i honestly still might (but i don’t really like the idea of the first half being it’s own part so i even thought about doing like 5.1 and 5.2????? is that even a thing to split a chapter into two?????) lol idk all i know is im just hoping i have plenty of time this week to figure it out😂 thank you so so much for the good luck, kind words, and your amazing support🩵🩵 i need it more than you realize😂

you saying otde is your favorite way to relieve stress is like its own kind of stress relief for me🥹🥹 seriously!! and you are so unbelievably sweet to say that you want to give me every single thing that makes me happy😭 but 🩵, i promise you your asks already make me happier than you could ever imagine!! i only hope that my responses do the same for you because you are so incredible and important to me💕💕which means that OF COURSE I VALUE YOUR OPINION!! readers are the heart and soul of any story, and feedback like yours is the backbone that keeps me going. it keeps the story alive, you know???? and i would be a fool not to recognize that. you have done more than enough to make me feel the love for my little story and blog, even if it is through asks!! don’t ever discount that or feel pressured to do anything further. of course my dms are always open for you🩵 but take all the time you need love, no pressure :)

LIKE THE MOODBOARD???!?!?!? NO NO I L O V E  IT. I CAN TELL HOW MUCH THOUGHT YOU PUT INTO IT AND I AM SO PROUD OF IT THAT I WANT TO SHOW IT OFF TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN MY LIFE (and i totally would, if any of them knew that this blog existed lol) BUT THAT IS HOW MUCH IL OVE IT. I LVOE IT WITH MY ENTIRE HEART AND SOUL.😭 (and i think mc would too) because i could literally feel the emotions you portrayed, and i cannot even put into words how that makes me feel. your love for this story is something i will never ever forget. even years down the road. you are so special to me, and the offer to go through and discuss all of the pictures (and the songs on your playlist) stands forever. my door will always be open<3 you don’t even have to knock lol just come on in and we can pick right back up wherever we left off. AND WHEN I TELL YOU I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE RED VERSION I MEAN LIKE SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT BITING MY NAILS ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE MOMENT IT DROPS🤭🤭(take your time though of course, because i know these things can’t be rushed🩵)

and if i’m being honest i have been thinking about this whole vans thing ever since you brought it up…like my mind has been spiraling with ideas about how our main couple would be in a world like ours, like if they were real college students or something idk. and we have definitely confirmed that its canon that mc would wear red vans because of felix and IT IS EVEN MOre CANON that felix would have something related to her tattooed?!?(I SQUEALED WHEN I READ THIS NO YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND) “Maybe just a small thing like her fav flower and on his wrist somewhere so that he knows she's always somehow with him” THIS.😭 but wait what if the flower was something SHE drew, like maybe just something small that she casually sketched while they were together and he kept it without her even knowing, or if she drew it on a little note to him?????? i am WEAK.😭😭😭😭

“or if she gave him a bracelet, he'd literally NEVER take it off like no matter what” no this is SO good too because even though he would rather die than admit it, he is so fucking obsessed with that little bracelet. because it was from her. OR MAYBE ITS JUST A LITTLE HAIR TIE THAT SHE TOOK OF AND WRAPPED AROUND HIS WRIST CASUALLY oNE daY AND HE HASNT TAKEN IT OFF SINCE BC IT REMINDS HIM OF HER AND - I CANT.😭 pls. we need to discuss this further. and don’t even get me started on how turned on he would be if he catches her wearing something of HIS. nah you’re insane for this and i’m cutting myself off before i get too invested and start making this into its own separate little fic. (mc and lix in a parallel universe or something lol, maybe a past life even??) idk send help😂

thank YOU for existing 🩵, my adoration for you grows even more every single time i see you pop up in my askbox, if that’s even possible :) i mean every word i put into in my responses and i cannot WAIT to see what new creations we’ll end up with from you💕 (starting with the red moodboard of course) you are wonderful, and you have no idea how much you have touched me with your words and interactions. for all we know, we might be halfway across the world from each other, but whenever i read your asks i always feel so close to you.🥹 they give me life, and its probably a good thing we don’t know each other in person, because I would be absolutely SHOWERING you with love 24/7, i would never leave you alone and you’d probably get sick of me lol.😂😂 you make my life better too🩵🩵thank you so much for saying that you think my writing is beautiful, how am i not supposed to think of you when i write when you say such kind things like this???🥹🥹🥹

“I also sometimes need to take a break and make myself that, unfortunately, otde Felix is not real” the struggle is REAL😭 and omg i saw that you added the eve by exo to the playlist and i HAVE to ask if it was because of the hyunlix dance cover from the fanmeet??? bc i also considered adding that song to mine after i saw their dance (don’t even get me started on that and how RUDE it was lmao)

okay okay, if you have made it to the end of this then i sincerely thank you for taking the time out of your day to read it, i could go on forever (you’d never believe how quiet i am in real life😂) but i just have SO much to say when it comes to you. so have an absolutely amazing start to your week 🩵🩵🩵 i hope its full of all of your favorite things and plenty of moments that make you smile<3333 sending SO much love and the biggest warmest hug back your way🤗 talk soon💕💕

[angry-kid-with-no-money]

thank u for tagging meeeeee!!!! this is exiting for me ngl!! answers below the cut, id on't know whats happened to my bullet point/numbers and i cbb to fix it so

What is your favourite character in the Foxes?

I gotta say Aaron, he’s just a guy and most of his lines are so fucking funny

And favourite in the series aside from this one?

I think Kevin or Jean

Drop your beloved head-canons about both!

I will always hc that aaron isn’t homophobic he just hates his families partners/hearing about their sex lives. I have many hcs about Kevin and Jean but my favourite is that when Jean gets out the next and lives with the Trojans, the first healthy way they start communicating again is sending really short simple postcards to each other

Fic(s) you are always happy to recommend or fic tropes you will always read.

My favourite two tropes are the ones where one of the foxes is a child or the ones where neil is a raven and the fic I like the most combines them both its called Little Birds (https://archiveofourown.org/works/46731118)

And my other favourite troup is kevin angst but theres so many good ones of that, I just couldn’t pick but this one is really god for it: Dead of Night by NikNak22 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/45261544)

Which of the books is your favourite

I actually could not pick if you held a gun to my head

Opinions on AFTG audiobook release?

So my only experience with the audiobook is a short clip that was on tiktok of the beginning of the “you know I get it” speech and I actually kind of hate it sooo

If you write/draw/create aftg stuff, what is your favourite work of yours?

None of mine are published, I think my fav of my own is the docto who crossover or the newsies crossover

Favourite event/plot point in the books

The “you know, I get it” speech or when Neil punches riko. They’re both so iconic

was reading through replies and remembered i absolutely love the bit where kevin switches his raquet to his left hand and crowd goes fucking wild. if i ever got to see it on tv i'd loose my mind. like edits of that moment???? can you imagine. anyway

Least favourite part of canon (can include Extra content)

The fact that Riko dies at the end, like I kind of understand why she did it and it’s justifiable, espec cause she no longer liked him as a character but I wish he hadn’t died and something else happened

If you could sent Nora an ask and get answer, what would you ask about?

Literally any information about Katelyn, her last name?? what does she look like?? Anything, I beg

If you could make an idea of your choice canon to aftg, what would it be?

The foxes never split up or whatever, they’re all friends for the rest of their lives and nothing bad happens to them after that

Feel free to share some random hot takes if you like

Nora’s writing isn’t as horrific as people make it out to be. The fandom acts like it’s the worst, incomprehensible writing ever and it’s really really not

Thea was also a victim of a the nest.

AFTG Fandom ask game !

by Cavan bc I need to interrogate my friends feel free to reply in replies or reblog! feel free to reply even if I haven't tagged you probably unsure if I can call you a friend but I'll be happy to read your replies!

What is your favourite character in the Foxes?

And favourite in the series aside form this one?

Drop your beloved head-canons about both!

Fic(s) you are always happy to recommend or fic tropes you will always read.

Which of the books is your favourite

Opinions on AFTG audiobook release?

If you write/draw/create aftg stuff, what is your favourite work of yours?

Favourite event/plot point in the books

Least favourite part of canon (can include Extra content)

If you could sent Nora an ask and get answer, what would you ask about?

If you could make an idea of your choice canon to aftg, what would it be?

Feel free to share some random hot takes if you like @noomyart @jtl-fics @dogintheboiler @thefoxesraven @poze-laceen @leedee013 @dianblch @yes-i-exist-shutup also shout out to ppl who have different names on all their socials so in consequence I think you are 3 different people!

[easy-revenge]

we need more on the easy revenge and how himeno plays a role in aki’s development please i love her <3 give me the meta i love u thank u

the way y'all are enabling me to be insufferable on main? i love it. its me and my problematic fave against the world. buckle up.

honestly i cant believe i havent talked about easy revenge on here? its my favorite part from himeno's arc and one of my favs for aki as well. so... essay incoming.

gonna start a bit from further back and make some himeno haters mad right off the bat. himeno, in my humble (and correct) opinion, was the person who knew aki better than anyone else. and it has very little to do with how long they knew each other.

himeno knew. she knew that aki wouldn't make it. she knew since before we, as an audience, started observing this story. she knew the harsh but very realistic truth was that aki ultimately was just some guy, and i say that with the unimaginable love i have for him.

he was never special enough. he was never talented enough, strong enough and against popular belief, never driven enough either to kill the gun devil. he gave away his lifespan, he put his life on the line for others every day. he offered to use his sword to save denji, whom he allegedly despised at the time. that's not the behavior of someone who lives for a singular, selfish purpose.

himeno saw him and knew. she knew that if aki was to stand against the gun devil with a sword in hand, he wouldn't make it out alive. she saw him and knew that there were other things he wanted as well.

she was also selfish about it. she wanted him alive and close to her. she wanted them to leave public safety together. she wanted to cup her hands around the dancing little flame that was his shriveling life span and protect it with her life. but selfishness aside, she knew that ultimately it would be the best case scenario for aki as well.

she was proven right. multiple times. after her death. aki admitted to not looking at himself objectively shortly after he lost her, bc he wouldn't have been able to go on otherwise. aki had always been trapped. he'd been set up to fail by the narrative and by makima all along. and even though that was something himeno couldn't know, she was proven correct again when aki died before even getting to look at the gun devil and have a chance to go down fighting.

himeno never told aki that she didn't believe in him. it wasn't something he'd ever be ready to hear, especially while she was still alive. aki wouldn't be able to live without a goal to strive for. he'd clutched at that pipe dream and held on for dear life for too long, gave up too much on his way there. he didn't know how to exist without a finish line to run towards.

but himeno saw him stick gum to a woman's coat for her. she saw him being happy about it. she saw him taking care of power and denji, even though he was aki hayakawa, the devil hunter who hated devils the most. she saw him stare longingly at makima. she felt his breath against her own face as they shared cigarettes.

it rly isnt that hard to see, if u care enough to look. and himeno cared more than enough. aki thought he wanted revenge. it takes a lot of hate in a man's soul to dedicate his life to that. aki was kind. aki cried for his co-workers' deaths. aki wanted to be the big brother he never got to be. he wanted the family he lost. he wanted to save people from things similar to what he went through.

aki deserved to lead a life where his kindness wouldn't put him at a disadvantage.

and that's what himeno wanted for him. even if it wasn't a life he would live by her side, she wanted him to be fulfilled. with her dying breath, she herself left him with a wish he could make come true.

later she'd leave him with a wish he'd at least try to.

easy revenge. small victories. moments of fulfillment. she probably put that cigarette upside down in the packet she died with, for good luck. it's such an honest wish. such a caring one. maybe something himeno would've lived by too if she didn't find her brief fulfilment in addiction.

it seems utterly pointless now. bc aki did die in the hands of the gun devil. he didn't get to protect denji and power. he didn't get to protect angel either. he failed in every way a man can fail bc he didn't escape the narrative. would never have been able to.

personally though, i dont think he would've gotten as close as he did to taking something back if it wasn't for that cigarette. if it wasn't for the remnants of himeno, the mere essence of her having the power to give it to him before dying alongside ghost.

bc he did get a family. he got to be an older brother again. he gave two months he couldn't really spare to save a devil. took the same devil out to eat with him.

he ASKED to leave the gun devil mission to protect his family. to not lose anyone else the way he lost himeno. to not see another loved one of his go in the little time he had left.

he did everything in his power to honor both of himeno's dying wishes. he cried for her when she died and got his easy revenge. at least as much of it as he could.

to me, himeno was vital to aki's development and storyline, both alive and in death. aki deserved a person to know him. to see him. and himeno wasn't perfect, but she was that for him, even if it took him a bit too long to fully realize.

[theredconversegirl]

Hello, I absolulety love all your recommendations lists. My favorite type of SasuSaku fics are non-massacre. I've read pretty much all the ones you've recommended (Hatsukoi my fav of all time), but I was wondering if you have more of them to suggest. Thanks.

Hi nonny,

Thanks for stopping by! 💕 Glad that you enjoy the recs! 😁

I also love non-massacre fics, and I wish there were more of them out there. Hatsukoi is amongst my top favorites as well, it's such a lovely story! 🥰 (thanks @sparklyfaerie ! ❤)

I combed through my TBR list and did a quick search today, and here's what I have to share for now:

Non-Massacre AU II 🍅🌸

Approval By: MMMagnolia

"Do you think I manipulated him into getting me pregnant?" [Rated K, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Cooties By: KuriQuinn

As the years inch by, the competition between them becomes more and more apparent. It's entirely good-natured on Sakura's side, but the same can definitely not be said for Sasuke. He is as intense in his dislike of her as he is in his love for his brother and parents. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

to have and to hold By: authorizedfiction

in which two seven-year-olds think: what's marriage but a never ending sleepover? [Rated K, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

In Hot Water By: Cinnamunk / rec by @dadada0203

Angling for ANBU, 20-year-old Uchiha Sasuke finds himself facing what might be his biggest challenge yet: A two-man infiltration mission at a five-star resort deep in the heart of Hot Water Country with his once-again teammate. [Rated E, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Nicknames By: EvilQueenMarika

When the 10-month old Sarada starts giving out nicknames, what would her grandpa Fugaku get? [Rated K, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Louder than Words By: SouthSideStory

Sakura hasn’t uttered a single word since the day her family died, but Sasuke is determined to hear her, one way or another. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Separation By: vvavavoom

She had to leave her precious, perfect, tiny, baby daughter for a whole week. Or Sasuke and Sakura have separation anxiety. [Rated K, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

supernova By: iwasbitch

Sakura had long since gotten over her childhood crush on Uchiha Sasuke, but their lives inevitably become intertwined once again, and this time it’s much harder to ignore those age-old butterflies. How did the saying go, again? You never truly get over your first love? [Rated E, on going]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Teachers Pet By: Rathen 

Follow on to WCL and BS. Sasuke is in angermanagement but guess who's teaching the class. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Triple Threat By: authorizedfiction

"Holy fuck that's like six sharingans!" Sasuke and Sakura are pregnant with triplets and here's how everyone goes about it. NonMassacre AU SasuSaku. Mostly funny. Sort of crack-ish. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

To Provide An Heir By: InnocentDumpling

A mistake occurred — and then another after that. A series of beautiful, stupid, and careless mistakes born out of their unwillingness to allow their evening trysts to draw to a close. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

The Ghosts of Our Past By: nolongercaughtupinagenjutsu

“Ninja who abandon their friends are worse than scum.” That was a saying Sakura lived by religiously, even to the point of reversing time because her boys were gone and there was no hope for the rest of the world. She couldn’t just abandon them. She wouldn’t. [Rated T, on going] / rec by nonny

——————————————————————————

If anyone knows other fics that aren't here or in the first list (Non Massacre AU), please send them my way. Thanks! 🙏

I hope you enjoy these stories, happy reading! 😊

Stay Safe,

xoxo

[apiratecalledav]

As requested, my predictions for Stranger Things season 4 Volume II. Plus my wishlist for fun!

Speculations:

I get why people think  Steve might be headed for the chopping block but my gut says no? Okay, maybe it’s just wishful thinking. But I do think it’s a misdirection. After all, pointing out the demobat bites and freaking out about rabies is supposed to make you worried about him. And ultimately, this is a nostalgia-fueled-feel-good family(ish) show and I don’t think killing Steve off—especially since he’s been an almost literal punching bag for so long— would fit.

It just seems uncharacteristically and excruciatingly cruel. Plus, after a nearly three year hiatus, killing off such a fan fav would be spectacularly dumb. I’m sure the Duffers know that but even if they don’t, the people signing the checks at Netflix sure as hell do. Even if Joe wanted out, I imagine Netflix would want the door open (three inches) for him just in case.

Ditto with Max. Having her stepdad leave and her mom start drinking after they lose their house… way too fucked up if Max dies, too. This ain’t Game of Thrones and if it tries to be, it will most likely ruin it.  The body count is already pretty high and has a few more to go. Surely killing off any long time, majorly loved character would be overkill.  

I will say, if there is such a death, I’d probably put my money on Nancy.  The way she has been on the money all season with Upside Down stuff until Vecna snatched her… could maybe, possibly hint at trouble. Even then, I’d imagine it’d only be because Natalia needed to leave the show for some reason.

I can see Eddie dying. Which hurts. But he is pretty much Bob and the good bit of Billy combined. I mean, I’m surprised his name isn’t Bilby. Also, dude is screwed. His best option is living in a cave for the rest of his life, eating Pringles gifted by friends. His intro established that he was optimistic about his future and now he’s lamenting the way he always runs away… 😓He’s going out like hero, at least. Hopefully. I know Chrissy will be waiting for him!  

Jason probably dies and is remembered as a hero. He’s the opposite of Billy, who was a piece of shit until he died doing something heroic without recognition.  Jason was a good kid who’ll end badly but will be remembered as the Patron Saint of Hawkins. Or possibly Jason will be the new Victor— the lone, traumatized survivor/scapegoat?

I’m hoping that this is Steve’s final darkest hour. Possibly like Hopper, he’ll fully intend to sacrifice himself but he’ll survive at the last second and come through (on the other side 😏) healthier and happier.  

Hopper probably has to get a new identity. There’s not really a good way to explain how he’s not dead and why he was gone so long…  The Hopper-Byers (aka the Hyers) family probably won’t ever call Hawkins home again and that low key makes me sad.

I think Eddie might play a song on his guitar to save Nancy from Vecna. Trying to think what it might be and I can only come up with three. 

My preference, which I believe to be the most likely: Brahms’ Lullaby, from the music box in her room. A heavy metal version would be badass as fuck. Plus, public domain so they’d save some money on royalties.

Africa by Toto, the song Nancy and Steve listen to when he helps her study for chem with those notecards. That was when we learn Steve isn’t just some asshole “only after one thing.” Meh.

Last and certainly least favorite is Waiting for a Girl Like You by Foreigner. Aka her song with Steve aka the song I was already pissed was wasted on them. But at the end of the day, I’m having hard time believing  S/N will be a real thing again.

Right now, I see it as Steve and Nancy really, really wanting to go back to a simpler time when fashion choices seemed like life and death to them. Even ignoring the Upside Down, Steve is still lost at sea and Nancy is about to leave her home and family. It’s a scary, uncertain time. And while I think there are more creative, interesting ways to go about that, it does makes sense they’d subconsciously find some sort of comfort in the idea of being together. To hope they could “turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” But as Hopper says, “that’s just not how life works. […] It’s always moving, whether you like it or not.”

Her bedroom from ‘83 is literally in a hell dimension that’s completely devoid of anything beautiful, safe, or good. The room is also littered with shit she no longer wants and is missing what she needs.💁🏻‍♀️ The knowledge she picked up from hanging out with Jonathan at that time is what saves them.  Now Vecna is pretty much using Barb and Nancy’s relationship with Steve to torture Nancy… so… that’s… pretty icky.

The writers have a good track record with ships, so I do think if they wanted us to truly root for them, they’d have done a better job. We also gotta remember they wrote this season intending the audience to watch it all within a week or two at most.

I think when Hopper comes back, it should  be easier for Jonathan to let go. He can transfer spring semester to one of the approximately eleventy-three colleges in the Boston area, even if he doesn’t do Emerson. Or just find a job and save money while Nancy gets her degree then they can move to New York and Nancy can work while Jonathan goes to NYU. Both of them need to leave their families’ mess to complete their arcs.  Even if it doesn’t end with them explicitly together, I imagine it’ll at least be implied that one day they will be.

I think Lucas, through true love for Max, plays a vital role in taking out Vecna somehow or at least temporarily binding him. See the DnD /basketball game scene. However, I will not entirely dismiss the possibility of Erica Sinclair  verbally roasting Vecna to death. 🤣

Wishlist:

Chrissy’s mom has a lotta nerve with that eulogy. Hope she gets to be demobat food.

Fingers crossed that Will saves El for a change.

Mike better have a helluva good way to tell El “I love you” for the first time.

One of these metaphorical pitchfork wielding townsfolk needs to call Eddie “Eddie Munster.” Like, I can’t believe they haven’t made that joke already.

Hyers family reunion, mom, dad, all three kids. And Uncle Murray, apparently.

Don’t kill any of my babies…

Edit: Holy crap, can’t believe I forgot Robin and Vicki. If I gotta sit through my NoTP, I need something to make it worth it.

[saintobio]

hi saint this isn’t an ask about olal but of wastelands, so my question is if yn was the one that turned into a z instead of suna, how would have he reacted to it and what would he have done after yn turned (like would he have the heart to kill her or get bitten by her just to be in the afterlife together)

Anonymous said

the nostalgia over wastelands hits hard 😩 I remember the journey and the pain when the series was still ongoing, it was amazingly painful 😔✊

Anonymous said

Okay so idk if you answered this around the time you wrote wastelands but do we know if the dynamic between 'samu and yn changed? bc we know he looks after her due to rin's dying wish, so is he kinda like the father figure of yn's child? I'm just curious about how their lives changed after rin's dea- 😷 I still haven't accepted it bye😭😭💔

Anonymous said

HIIII SAINT!!! THIS IS OLD BUT NEVER TO ME, ITS STILL FRESH IN MY MIND. I read WASTELANDS LAST YEAR AUGUST AND READ IT AGAIN TODAY MORNING AND MY HEARTS BROKEN!!!! LEMME JUST TELL YOU HOW ITS ONE OF THOSE FICS WHERE YOU COULD NEVER FORGET IT EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO. ITS LIKE TATTOOED IN MY BRAIN AND yeh, I’ve been crying ever since. You broke my heart, crushed it further into million pieces and made me watch it. AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT/gen😭😭This fic is beautifulllll

Anonymous said

I JUST FINISHED WASTELANDS IK IM LATE BUT FUCK THAT WAS SO GOOD YOURE AMAZING (Currently sobbing my ass off right now but the way you write your angst is honestly just beautiful.)

Anonymous said

hi i just discovered wastelands and omg that shit put me through so many emotions that i had to stop functionally for a solid hour cos i could not sleep omg, this is the best sunarin fic i have ever read T.T thank you for your works

Anonymous said

omg i just watched all of us are dead and it gave me massive flashbacks of when you were writing wastelands - lmaoo u were so ahead of your time ‼️

Anonymous said

helllooo i just finished reading wastelands after i stumbled upon the commission fanart of suna. and omg the amount of tears and joy and all the different emotions i went thru while reading the entire series in one sitting, the way you wrote it was soooo good i was at the edge after every chapter, suna's letter made me SOB SOOO HARD, i had a withdrawal with life when suna died T.T and it also made me think that if there was a zombie apocalypse now i would never have a lover like rin around and would be killed off by the first hour. wastelands was sooo freaking good, can't believe im like a year late to this fic !

Anonymous said

saint… whenever i need a good crying session, i go to your blog and read wastelands 😭 it never gets old the pain is just so good there… i love wastelands!yn and rin so much <33

thank you sooo so much i’m sorry it took me awhile to answer wastelands asks 😭 i’ve been compiling them so i can post in one go but tyty!!! that series will forever me my fav <33

just realized i didn’t answer the first question if you didn’t remind me @sunasbabie HAHSJD if yn was the one who turned into a z, rin would let her do what she wants w him since he’s got no one left but her :’)

[kingkatsuki]

Oh please do Jo, I would love to hear some of your angst ideas, it would mean the world to me bcoz I really wanna join the collab especially when it is coming from you, one of my fav writers 😩💕 I'm not much of a writer myself so I might draw it instead. Thank u Jo! Best wishes and good luck!

I’ve been switching back and forth between doing Bakugou or Kirishima for this collab. I still haven’t fully decided and I’ll probably finish off some Kinktober pieces before I actually decide/start but I’m definitely planning on doing something like unrequited love/anti-soulmates because for me personally that kinda angst cuts deepest for me.

1) Other ideas I was thinking about are those fics where both characters are mutually pining for each other but have absolutely no idea and never get to confess. So like Pro-Hero Bakugou being completely and unequivocally in love with you, you’re just as in love with him but you end up moving away for work and he doesn’t have the balls to stop you. He just lets you go. Even though Kirishima is telling him to go and stop you, to confess to you that he loves you he just.. can’t bring himself to do it. Of course now you’re gone there’s literally no one else he’d rather have so he just stays alone. When you come back months/years later Bakugou has to see you engaged/married to someone else.

2) Everyone knows my favourite AUs are apocalypse AUs so imagine being separated from Bakugou during a struggle with another camp/zombies/creatures and you have absolutely no idea whether he’s dead or alive. Spending months believing that if he was alive he would have found you, slowly giving up hope. Maybe it ends just as you’ve given up completely and Bakugou finds you but it’s already too late…

3) Or Bakugou gets bitten by a zombie trying to protect you and he tries to cover it up/conceal it so you have no idea. Until you have to watch him turn before your very eyes.

4) Imagine that sadness/loneliness of someone falling out of love with you? Trying desperately to ignore the change in your partner as they begin to stop doing things that were so effortless before. The subtle avoidance that you’re both trying to dance around and avoid talking about because neither of you want to admit it’s over.

5) Similar to my ghost!Bakugou fic but imagine Bakugou dies before ever getting the chance to tell you that he loves you and he can’t pass on so instead he spends his days with you inside your home. Maybe he has to watch you dating other men? Or trying to live your life as though he didn’t even exist? Like you never even wanted him… and he’s just stuck there because he’s still completely in love with you. Or maybe you were in love with him too but you never told each other so you’re both completely alone and you have no idea that he’s still there with you.

6) A dystopian world like in that Justin Timberlake film In Time where you have like a life-clock and you buy time through working, and your clock is about to run out but Bakugou is trying to find you to give you some of his time. Maybe he finds you in time, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he gives you his time so his clock runs out? 

7) Finding your soulmate, but not being in love with them? Noticing all their bad characteristics but you stay with them because you’re determined things will work out.

8) Guardian Angel!Kirishima who is tasked to protect you at any costs. But he falls in love with you, even though he knows it’s impossible to be with you.

9) Or you’re a Guardian Angel and you fall in love with a Demon? And you get banished from heaven because of it, cursed to live in purgatory on Earth.

10) Giving up their life to save yours… you have no idea that they’re in love with you or that they’ve made the sacrifice until it’s too late.

11) Finding your soulmate but being terrified of them? Like you’ve spent your entire life dreaming about your soulmate, you finally find Bakugou and you’re just wondering how your soulmates? And it hurts him too because he’s never believed in soulmates until he found you and now he’s got you, you can’t bare to be with him.

12) You’re so completely in love with Bakugou, who doesn’t give a fuck about you and Kirishima has to watch you pine over his best friend when he’s in love with you—

13) Mafia AU where you were dating Hawks/Dabi/someone but you get kidnapped by the other side, maybe Bakugou or Shindou, to be used as leverage... You end up falling for the “enemy” and you don’t want to go back and it ends up being a gang war?

14) That soulmate trope where soulmates can feel each other’s pain. You end up feeling pain every time Kirishima is in a fight because he’s a Pro-Hero, but obviously he’s concerned over you when the slightest things happen (like even when you stub your toe he’s worried you’re hurt) … until one day Kirishima is in battle with a villain and he’s losing so you have to feel the pain of him dying…

[blrush]

Rec List Request

A personalised list for @jammy-boy 🥰 could be of interest to others, so enjoy!

Basic requirements: - just finished and loved SOTUS - is Arthur/Merlin trash - loves a twist or reversal of classic “power-dynamic” - loves angst with happy ending ______________________________

Theory of Love

Film student Third (Gun) has been secretly in love with his best friend Khai (Off) for three years, but Khai is straight, a massive player, and a total arsehole if we’re being honest. This starts painful, but then they start playing around with tropes and expectations and then it changes POV which just HITS so hard and completely changes your whole perception. You know the movie Flipped? It references that, and then does the flip - so good.

Knowing the level of pining, pain and angst that you love (plus your background in film studies) I feel like this is required viewing. Get out the tissues. But also, it’s still really funny and cute/dumb (cause gmmtv) and the production was excellent. Also, Off/Gun are PEAK natural chemistry and Gun is such an incredible actor that watching him cry or yell at someone is still preferable to other actors being happy.

Watch on YouTube HERE

He’s Coming To Me

Precious baby boi Singto plays Med, a ghost, who is is stuck in limbo for 20 years - until he meets a boy who can see him, Thun (my baby boi Ohm) who promises to help him figure out his unfinished business and cross over. And then they were roommates! And then they start falling in love and it’s ANGSTY because they know Med will have to leave one day. Ouch, my heart.

You will enjoy the mixture of domestic fluff and tragic angst in this. But don’t worry it has a happy ending (kind of, I think, from memory haha). Also, you will enjoy the fact that they can’t touch (cause, ghost) which is *chefs kiss* except for moments of heightened emotions when Thun’s powers become strong enough that he can touch Med (FUCK YES, THIS TROPE IS EVERYTHING)

After much whining from fans, they put it up on Youtube haha so watch HERE. 

Until We Meet Again

ANNGST. RE.IN.CAR.NA.TION. ANGST. What else do you need to know?!?! Reincarnated soulmates trope?!!? HELLO!?!?  It’s so beautiful. I’m still not over it. And yes it has a happy ending, it starts super sad, then ends up super fluffy and the romantic fluffy moments oh god it’s so romantic. I know you love like soft domestic food sharing etc - this show is ALL about the cooking.

The casting, the characterisation, the acting, the story, the music, even the friendship group and the side-couple, it’s perfection *chefs kiss* PERFECTION

Watch on youtube HERE

A Tale of A Thousand Stars

After the lovely volunteer teacher Torfun dies (RIP poor torfun) in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into selfish pretty rich boy Tian (played by the beautiful Mix). After learning of her selfless character, he feels guilt and shame for living (the angst is very real) and makes it his mission to complete her life’s wishes and follow in her footsteps. 

As the new village volunteer teacher, he then falls in love with the very handsome and very shirtless chief Phupha (Earth), who lives to protect the trees, we stan an environmental man. Angst, fluff, complications, and many miscommunications ensue. I was tearing my hair out by the end of this show. Yes, it has a happy ending (eventually). Earth x Mix was a pairing we did not know we even wanted or needed until this show happened and now I cry every time I see a picture of them together. Every single time Phupha looks at Tian in this show I literally tear up. HE LOVES HIM SO MUUUUUCHHH *crying again*

Watch on youtube HERE

I Told Sunset About You

Childhood best-friends, turned enemies (for stupid kid reasons), to lovers. This is ANGSTY but so fucking beautiful it’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even class this as “BL” because it doesn’t have any of the standard tropes, and there’s no silly sound-effects or innuendo jokes. This is like genuine lgbt+ indie-film realness. You can honestly just watch it for the cinematography and the music. The AESTHETIC of this show is what truly makes it special. The symbolism, the colours, this show said CINEMA. And the sexual tension is absolutely WILD. You will live for the angst (with a happy ending). And no, do not bother watching season 2, it’s perfect as a stand-alone mini-series. (I’m still upset).

Watch HERE 

and now for some stand-out non-Thai series...

Where Your Eyes Linger

Korea has gotten on the BL train, and has now made a whole bunch of viki mini-series that are all cute but this one is right up your alley. This is VERY merthur. It’s literally servant/master, bodyguard/prince trope. But, I thought the characterisation was nicely thought out and wasn’t what I was expecting. The tension is palpable, the angst is juicy, and the soft kdrama vibes are cheesy and wonderful. Angst with a happy ending (of course).

Watch on VIKI

HIStory 3: Trapped

So the Taiwanese HIStory series has been around forever, and I love the whole series (History 2: Crossing The Line is my all time fav). But for youuuu, I think the most appropriate is Trapped. Police detective single-mindedly obsessed with a gang leader? Yes please. But whatever power-dynamic expectations you would have of a police/criminal couple are twisted and warped immediately! This series is so endearing, it’s mostly comedy/action, and whilst it has plenty of angst, mostly it’s just CUTE as fuck. Also the side couple are adorable too!

The whole History series is on Viki now yay!

The Untamed

Look, I KNOW 50 episodes of plot-heavy chinese historical fantasy is a lot. But there’s a reason this show was soooo popular. It only took me like 3 attempts and a whole ass “guide” pdf to figure out what the fuck was happening in the first ep cause its non-linear. But, if you are in the right mood (ie; sick, or in lockdown) and need something to get completely LOST in for like a week, then watch this haha. I know you couldn’t make it through Guardian, but maybe this one will hit the spot.

This has all the angsty character tropes you live for. And cause it’s censored, there’s no actual romance, so instead it’s just the best kind of UST, character driven, emotional soulmate angst. To summarise: Wei Wuxian is; adopted, a trouble-maker, impetuous, head-strong, fun-loving, has a martyr complex and wants to save everyone. Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is; lawful good to a fault, stoic, shy, and has a martyr complex about saving Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian ONLY. Now throw them into the middle of supernatural / political turmoil and see what happens. Well I’ll tell you what happens, Wei Wuxian becomes the “villain”, gets killed, and Lan Zhan spends 16 years looking for him. FUCKING KILL ME OKAY. (No, that’s not a spoiler it happens in the first episode haha)

Do NOT watch on Netflix the subs are trash. Watch on Youtube or Viki

 ~ ~ ~

This list may seem long but I was VERY reserved in my selection okay you have no idea how tiny this tip of the iceberg is 😂

Also, knowing your love of no-touching, tension, and angst. I would also briefly draw your attention so School 2013 in my bromance list which is the single most angsty show about friendship ever made.

Enjoy!