#i have character studies for aki and himeno sitting in my docs and i rummage through them like a raccoon looking for food in the trash fr

[easy-revenge]

we need more on the easy revenge and how himeno plays a role in aki’s development please i love her <3 give me the meta i love u thank u

the way y'all are enabling me to be insufferable on main? i love it. its me and my problematic fave against the world. buckle up.

honestly i cant believe i havent talked about easy revenge on here? its my favorite part from himeno's arc and one of my favs for aki as well. so... essay incoming.

gonna start a bit from further back and make some himeno haters mad right off the bat. himeno, in my humble (and correct) opinion, was the person who knew aki better than anyone else. and it has very little to do with how long they knew each other.

himeno knew. she knew that aki wouldn't make it. she knew since before we, as an audience, started observing this story. she knew the harsh but very realistic truth was that aki ultimately was just some guy, and i say that with the unimaginable love i have for him.

he was never special enough. he was never talented enough, strong enough and against popular belief, never driven enough either to kill the gun devil. he gave away his lifespan, he put his life on the line for others every day. he offered to use his sword to save denji, whom he allegedly despised at the time. that's not the behavior of someone who lives for a singular, selfish purpose.

himeno saw him and knew. she knew that if aki was to stand against the gun devil with a sword in hand, he wouldn't make it out alive. she saw him and knew that there were other things he wanted as well.

she was also selfish about it. she wanted him alive and close to her. she wanted them to leave public safety together. she wanted to cup her hands around the dancing little flame that was his shriveling life span and protect it with her life. but selfishness aside, she knew that ultimately it would be the best case scenario for aki as well.

she was proven right. multiple times. after her death. aki admitted to not looking at himself objectively shortly after he lost her, bc he wouldn't have been able to go on otherwise. aki had always been trapped. he'd been set up to fail by the narrative and by makima all along. and even though that was something himeno couldn't know, she was proven correct again when aki died before even getting to look at the gun devil and have a chance to go down fighting.

himeno never told aki that she didn't believe in him. it wasn't something he'd ever be ready to hear, especially while she was still alive. aki wouldn't be able to live without a goal to strive for. he'd clutched at that pipe dream and held on for dear life for too long, gave up too much on his way there. he didn't know how to exist without a finish line to run towards.

but himeno saw him stick gum to a woman's coat for her. she saw him being happy about it. she saw him taking care of power and denji, even though he was aki hayakawa, the devil hunter who hated devils the most. she saw him stare longingly at makima. she felt his breath against her own face as they shared cigarettes.

it rly isnt that hard to see, if u care enough to look. and himeno cared more than enough. aki thought he wanted revenge. it takes a lot of hate in a man's soul to dedicate his life to that. aki was kind. aki cried for his co-workers' deaths. aki wanted to be the big brother he never got to be. he wanted the family he lost. he wanted to save people from things similar to what he went through.

aki deserved to lead a life where his kindness wouldn't put him at a disadvantage.

and that's what himeno wanted for him. even if it wasn't a life he would live by her side, she wanted him to be fulfilled. with her dying breath, she herself left him with a wish he could make come true.

later she'd leave him with a wish he'd at least try to.

easy revenge. small victories. moments of fulfillment. she probably put that cigarette upside down in the packet she died with, for good luck. it's such an honest wish. such a caring one. maybe something himeno would've lived by too if she didn't find her brief fulfilment in addiction.

it seems utterly pointless now. bc aki did die in the hands of the gun devil. he didn't get to protect denji and power. he didn't get to protect angel either. he failed in every way a man can fail bc he didn't escape the narrative. would never have been able to.

personally though, i dont think he would've gotten as close as he did to taking something back if it wasn't for that cigarette. if it wasn't for the remnants of himeno, the mere essence of her having the power to give it to him before dying alongside ghost.

bc he did get a family. he got to be an older brother again. he gave two months he couldn't really spare to save a devil. took the same devil out to eat with him.

he ASKED to leave the gun devil mission to protect his family. to not lose anyone else the way he lost himeno. to not see another loved one of his go in the little time he had left.

he did everything in his power to honor both of himeno's dying wishes. he cried for her when she died and got his easy revenge. at least as much of it as he could.

to me, himeno was vital to aki's development and storyline, both alive and in death. aki deserved a person to know him. to see him. and himeno wasn't perfect, but she was that for him, even if it took him a bit too long to fully realize.