#i love using tumblr as my diary lol like it really was fun but i cant deny i was thinking w my dick the whole night <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[truthundressing]

smthn abt traditional music that makes the men in this town a little slutty...

[phagodyke]

ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee

[ms-demeanor]

i really liked OJST in the mid-2010s but i didn’t stop reading cause of the cuck comic - wasn’t there also a comic erika moen wrote about (functionally) harassing lesbians with her now-husband?

In the mid 2010s closet-keys criticized one of Erika Moen's early diary comics and described Erika Moen as "Reassuring a cishet partner that it’s totally okay to use hate speech towards wlw at Pride" and condoning the harassment and fetishization of lesbians because of a 2007 comic that she had made as part of a webcomic she had written about gender and her interactions with her queerness.

The hate speech in question is the partner asking "are you sure you want to hold my hand with all these dykes around?" while they are pretty clearly at a Dyke Day event during pride, and the reassurance that 'it's totally okay to use hate speech toward wlw' is Erika responding "sweetie, I'm proud to be with you."

The comic is still up with a disclaimer that it was written at a different time, and I know that's probably not going to fly with a lot of people but if you were a bi woman in the early to mid 2000s it was pretty common to use statements like "lol yeah i'm into women my boyfriend is fine with it as long as I take pictures" to diffuse the biphobia from straight people AND to say shit like "I'm not a party bi, I actually love pussy, thanks" to diffuse the biphobia from queer people. (if you were a bi guy in the early to mid 2000s i'm sorry and I'm sorry now because we got LUG but that mostly went away and you *still* have to deal with the "gay in waiting" bullshit).

That comic ends with Erika and her partner looking at a woman and saying "I'd totally do her" while the woman thinks "pigs" and if you think that means that they literally sat on the street and vocally commented about lesbians passing by them or that they condone harassing lesbians (in, I cannot stress this enough, a diary comic written by someone in their early twenties who is realizing they are occasionally interested in some men some of the time after identifying as a lesbian their whole life), then I'm gonna go ahead and recommend signing up for some variety or other of literary analysis class. Do we think that Erika is seriously implying that she is going to make her boyfriend gay if she fucks him in this comic from a year later?

If this comic bothers you and you see it as a straight-passing couple giving the go-ahead to harass lesbians, you do you, I'm not saying you have to read the comic or enjoy Erika Moen.

I am saying it's a bit of a stretch, though, and certainly the least charitable explanation possible, and that we should probably give people some space to say awkward things about their sexuality and to make missteps when discussing it in their early twenties and not call them lesbophobic fifteen years after the fact for a college comic.

Moen also gets called transphobic because she has described trans men as adorable/cute in a way that could be read as patronizing in one comic and because she made a comic about wearing a packer for fun and for sexual gratification with her cis male partner as a cis woman.

Appropriately, all of these things feel very "late twenty teens tumblr callout post."

If it bugs you, you don't have to read the comics but I've talked about Moen before and I've gotten the anons in my inbox calling me lesbophobic for recommending her comic when in 2007 she made a comic about catcalling lesbians and condoning street harassment.

Which is frustrating because Erika Moen writes a comic about sex toys that has incredible body and gender diversity and is interested in making sure that people of all sexualities are having safe, enjoyable sex and talking openly about it. This is Rebecca Sugar condones war crimes level discourse over a creator who makes a genuinely good comic and gets dismissed as cringe by people who hate open discussions of sex and gets dismissed as a bigot (in ways that I think are incredibly unfair given the vast majority of her work) among people who *claim* to love open discussions of sex but who *actually* love witch hunts.

[suitepea]

Kinda long, sorry. But I love knowing things like these.

10 11 14 18 21 28 30 34 38 51 62 72 73 75 81 82 84 89 91

Omg that’s so many 😂 this was a fun afternoon activity. Thank you

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Uuuh yeah. Just once. When I was 18 but still living at my mom’s house, I was on a video call with this super sexy fat guy and we were masturbating together. My mom busts into my room to ask me a question and I just JUMPED out of bed completely naked and shut my computer lol. I think she was kind of embarrassed so she left quickly and didn’t see what exactly I was doing, which I am forever grateful for 😅

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Fun fact about me: I own, like, 30 pairs of the same cotton granny panties and that is 99% of what I wear. I have like 5 pairs of Super Special Sexy Panties that I only wear on special occasions, so I don’t have a ton of options. That being said, it’s probably the lacy black thong that goes with my favorite lingerie set.

This isn’t the best picture to show off the panties. I’ll have to take another one sometime for you

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Honestly, giving. My clit is super sensitive and I often find cunnilingus is too intense for me. It’s hard to get that balance of gentle and satisfying. I’m kind of a submissive person anyways, so it works. Plus, giving head puts my face closer to belly (and therefore closer to god).

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Not opposed, but I’ve never done it (unless lingerie counts). Depends on what we’re dressing up as too. I think I would look pretty good with a pig snout and ears 🐽

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Short answer, yes. I have had many threesomes, and a handful of foursomes too. They’re lots of fun. The more the merrier :)

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Belly 🤤 isn’t it obvious?

There’s so much to love about men’s bodies though. I would struggle to name a second favorite.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find

This is a difficult one because I don’t really have a lot of “secret” objects. Like if my grandma found my vibrator or something I wouldn’t care. I would probably have to say my diary from when I was in middle school where I used to write about the anime characters I was dating. That would be kind of painful to know someone read it lol

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience

Honestly fucking anything delicious! I feel like sweets are inherently sexual, so maybe those. At the same time I would be so turned on watching my partner crush a couple burgers. All of it please!

38: Best sexual complement you ever got

Hmmm this is a hard one. There’s no one compliment that really stands out in my mind. I’ve been told I give great head. I’ve been told I have a nice ass. Among other things.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Peas, but only because I hate them lol.

Other than that I’m not sure. There are probably lots of things I’m not thinking of.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Hahaha see first question. Yes, I have been known to masturbate for people I really like. It’s a form of intimacy I really enjoy

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Yo honestly my back and neck are extremely sensitive. My back more so than the average person I think. Back rubs alone are like a near-orgasmic experience for me. They feel so insanely good. Please rub my back.

And belly, of course 😁 The answer is always belly.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Can I say belly again? Lol

I guess pussy is the only real answer here? More specifically I like being fingered. If you can find the g-spot then we will get along super well lol.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

Yes of course :> I love to flirt

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

Yes, I love degradation. But if you want bonus points, make it fat-shamey. Being called a “slut” is fun. Being called a “pig slut” is perfection 👌🏻

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Yes :) My fiancé and I have a big bag of fun toys. If you ask nicely, I’ll show you some pictures of me in bondage. I haven’t posted them because they’re a little raunchy and I’m not trying to lose my blog lol.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

So much. It’s one of my favorite things. I love a partner who’s good with words. It’s a super valuable skill to me that I often struggle with myself

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

I guess so? Haven’t we all? Sometimes one of us is tired or not in the mood so the other has to fend for themselves. Sometimes we’re both horny but too tired to fuck, so we masturbate beside each other lol. It’s not really something I fret about. I see it as a normal part of a relationship.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

I have. My best friend and I have actually hooked up and had threesomes quite a few times in the past. She’s in a monogamous relationship so we’re just regular friends right now

[spitdrunken]

currently i'm really busy with writing for my thesis, which unfortunately leaves me with little creative juice... ive been engaging with other people's creations a lot more rather than writing for myself, but have some assorted thoughts on things ive enjoyed recently below, for anyone who is interested. feel free to send me asks about anything that's mentioned, but because of the above, might take me a bit to get back to u <3!

these aren't really x reader thoughts, just rambling! if you read this, thank u, i am giving you a kiss on your forehead/hug/fistbump/handshake/whatever words of affirmation you have been wanting to hear today. pick your favorite!

(Pokephilia mention) Pokémon Legends Z's announcement!! It'll be forever until it's released (which, as a true Pokémon fan, I'm very happy about BAHAHAH), but I'm so excited! Very curious how they are planning to implement, what seems to be, citybuilder elements... If Emmet shows up in this game, I'm going to be super delighted, but I honestly doubt it. Either way, it's made me think a bit more about the twins, and Poképhilia stuff in general as well! It's such a shame/pain the main tag is blocked... one day I will start and stick to my intention to write, like, porn about all the Pokémon, haha. A dream...

(cannibalism(????) monster eating??? mention. consensual!) Dungeon Meshi really was as much fun as everyone mentioned! Don't really see myself writing fic about it, except for a very specific idea I had... I like the thought of Laois 'obsessed with eating monsters' Touden got to meet a monster (AKA Reader) who is equally obsessed with the idea of being eaten!! Maybe a mermaid, or something like that? It's his one chance to eat a humanoid monster! Though the others probably won't believe him when they tell him that it was 100% consensual, and are judging him harshly LMAO

Welcome Home updated! Very happy about this. Though I don't connect them publically, I actually have written quite a bit of WH fic and my sfw sideblog for it used to have more followers than this one LMAOO. Maybe one day I'll write NSFW works for it, but I dunno if there's interest... Plus, I very much fall underneath people the creator would consider 'unwelcome' in their squeaky-clean fandom or whatever, but they have like a quarter million followers now, lol. Anyway, Wally is, as has been said many times before, the Most! He draws me in <3

And also, poor Eddie, lmao. It's very interesting to me, with the inclusion of the Narrator, that the characters seem to be forced to steer in a specific direction, if that makes sense? To upkeep a certain mask. I wonder if 'as above, so below' is a reference to that, in the sense that whatever is dictated by the stronger forces of narrative, is what shall occur 'below'-- In their world. Like, the animosity some of these puppets have for each other!!!!! Some of them are just straight up Not Friends, lmao.

I need to play more of it, but if anyone is reading this, go play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I expected it to be waaaay more popular, especially on Tumblr, but it's so underrated? The writing is wonderful, the characters are well-defined, and the art is breathtaking! Please take a look at the trigger warnings, cuz there are a few that are definitely applicable, but it's soooo good... If it has to be said, I romanced Dys first, lmao.

I am watching The Apothecary Diaries right now, just started today, and can I jsut say... I'm such a fan of all the women in this show!! I love the perspective it gives on court life a lot! Maomao definitely is pulling in all the men AND women, huh.... i appreciate that. Jinshi also 100% wants to get degraded by her, huh. Maomao is the sexywoman of this show.

[chrollogy]

about: yue !

meet the writer behind the fics :> interested in my genshin version?

hellooo !! as you already know, i go by yue, i’m twenty two years old, my pronouns are she/her and i’m an intj !!! i’m southeast asian (filipino) so feel free to speak to me in tagalog since i’m still quite fluent :3 my timezone is gmt +12 so i’m most likely active when everyone else is sleeping hence my lack of interaction with fellow moots :< also!! i’m really into 35 mm photography (since 2019) and i love collecting cameras <3

i got into writing when i was around the age of 10-11 where i wrote cliché highschool fics back when i first got into kpop :< i had three writing phases which were asianfanfics (aka the very first platform i used to publish fics), wattpad (where i mainly focused on long series), and finally tumblr (my current platform !!)

fun fact! i have ten ear piercings (three on each lobe. left: rook, and tragus. right: daith, and helix). i love dyeing my hair (notable colours: red, purple, blonde), and i currently have two tattoos :3

fun fact 2! am a huge matcha lover !! i make my own matcha every morning (with the whisk and all) but i’m slowly running out rip

fun fact 3! i’ve been on tumblr since 2016 but i was a kpop-centric blog back then, and only posted moodboards LMAO then i got into the anime side on 2021 :3

currently watching: black butler (s4), kimi ni todoke (s3), hunter x hunter (e119 — CA arc)

games i play: genshin impact — AR 57 WL 8, ASIA server. love and deepspace — LVL 41, ASIA server; 81000767553 (ex-hsr, ex-obey me player)

fandoms: haikyuu, genshin impact, black butler, hunter x hunter, love and deepspace, jujutsu kaisen, kimi ni todoke, tokyo revengers, attack on titan, demon slayer, obey me, play it cool guys, the apothecary diaries, blue lock, buddy daddies, romantic killer, howl’s moving castle, girl from nowhere

hobbies:

writing, reading, sleeping <3, going gym, watching anime & sports (a rugby fan !!), simping for a blonde msby setter, disappearing from time to time

dislikes:

summer, waking up early on a winter morning, bugs n insects especially spiders, those little clustered holes (yes i have that phobia), people who rush me lol

yue core 📸

[edgarrallannhoe]

5.08.024

Ok, i’m noticing no one is looking at my tumblr lol, so i’ll keep writing whatever and turn this into my online diary ( i have a real one that is the most gorgeous diary you’ll see, i swear, if someone is interested in seeing it i’ll post it! ) so i can write the most unhinged shit on it.

Today i woke up humming “joyride” by Kesha, best summer song tbh, and now I’m listening to it on repeat since then ( i alternate between Joyride and Guess, i’m feeling cunty today ). I discovered that i like my face more with only blush and a little bit of nose contoure, and some dark pink lipstick. i think eye liner and mascara drags my face down in some way, idk, and also makes me look older.

i ghosted a guy i knew for 4 years circa. He always treated me kinda bad, but i really cared about him and i always made sure to be kind, gentle, understanding and loving towards him, i now wonder why i was like that but whatever. He is almost ten years older than me, and he used this weird technique to keep me around that consisted in him telling me how special, smart, unique and cool i was, we made fun of others together and we used to gossip and laugh all the time, i obviously had him on a pedestal, and he knew it, and made me believe we were on it together. Idk if i was ever even in love with him, i just really liked him, and i found him interesting.

When he met a girl, he used to make fun of her with me, telling me how dumb the girl was or how crazy she was - i have to admit, these girls were really crazy, but he was as messy as them tbh, so idk why he felt so much normal compared to them -, but then he would take them out to eat and restaurants, or bring them to some fancy hotel, or send a taxi to pick them up.

The fact is, in all these years it was me going to his house - very far away from mine, like 1hour using public transports-, i would always pick up food, i used to just offer him like lunches or dinner cause i knew his economic situation wasn’t the best. I always slept at his house, that was a fricking mess; i would never enter the kitchen, and the bathroom was the stereotype of men’s bathrooms: one shampoo 18 in 1 in the shower, a practically finished toothpaste without the cap and a toothbrush that probably wasn’t changed in forever. The toilet with the toilet seat broken and the flush button broken as well, so you had to fill up a bucket in the sink and then throw the water in the toilet. A true learning experience. And yes, i’m embarrassed that this was the man i liked, please, don’t make me feel worse than i already feel.

One day, he was back in Rome ( he left rome to go live first in Berlin, then Milan ), he was sleeping in a abandoned occupied building that was taken up by a political group; the atmosphere and way of living in these building are pretty brutal, they are not the most clean, you sleep on mats on the floors, during the winter is pretty cold and so on. While we were texting he tells me something like: “Mary- a girl we both know that flirts w him since a lot- asked me to meet!! I don’t know what to do, i’ll try to find some money for a good hotel so we can spend the night together, i can’t make her come here and sleep here..”

The next day, he texts me, I asked how the night with Mary went, he says they didn’t meet, i say something like “aw that’s a bum! i’m sorry” and then he is like “hey what about you coming here tonight - at the Strike- so we can stay together here and sleep together??”. I stopped answering. Why i don’t deserve a nice hotel room? why i don’t deserve a dinner at a restaurant? why i doN’t deserve all these things that other girls can have?

We didn’t speak for a while, then he came back to Rome another time. Me and him had sex like maybe more than ten times, i really didn’t like having sex with him a lot.. he is pretty egoistical, has a very small penis that doesn’t know how to use, sweats a lot and it’s just not good. Luckily he also finishes in like eight minutes, so i didn’t had to endure this whole things for too long. While these were my thoughts on him, he always told me that i was the best sex he ever had, and that many times he thought of me while having sex with other women. One day, when he came back to rome another time, i invited him sleeping at my house for one night cause he had nowhere to go; we share a passion in common that is horror movies, so i was pretty happy to spend the night with him cuddling and watching movies. We had dinner-paid by me obv lol- and then we went to bed and put on one of those trash horror movies that i love.

that night, i didn’t really wanted to have sex, i was a little melancholic, i wanted to cuddle, hug, hold hands and give some kisses. After like twenty minutes that i was with my head on his chest, and was caressing his hand, he started to put his hand under my shorts, then under my undies; i then said: “hey bb, sorry but tonight or rn in general i really don’t want to have sex, i would like to hug and watch the movie.” idk, maybe it wasn’t the right way to put it? idk but he went ballistic. He got up and started shouting: WHAT THE FUCK I CAME HERE FOR? so why am i here? are you kidding me? are you fucking kidding me???” i was speechless, but took courage and said:” I thought u we’re here because we are friends and we like spending time with each other” “Go fuck yourself Emma, what the fuck is this? You are fucking with me, i will not be here for this.” “ok, go away then, i don’t want you here”.

He started dressing up and packing up his things, then said “you are mean, i don’t recognize you.” “go away, i don’t want you here, if you just want someone you can fuck whatever it will not be me, fuck you” “i don’t recognize you” “GO FUCKING AWAY BYEEEEE”. He went away. God had my side that night, cause as soon as he went away a crazy storm fell down on Rome; lightings, thunders. The amount of rain falling of that night was absolutely insane. The funny thing is that J had absolutely nowhere to go, cause he had to sleep at my house, and he didn’t live here anymore, so after thirty minutes he started blowing up my phone while i was staring smiling at my phone at the thought of him out there. Then the messages started: “sorry yadda yadda please let me came back yadda”, again, smiling at my phone. Then i turned off the notifications and kept watching the movie.

The story didn’t finish here, but i’m tired of talking about this douchebag rn. Kisses🤍✨

[anonfromtheflight]

Does your sister likes Omar too? Does she share your unhingedness for him? Thank you for sharing her thoughts and reactions, it was fun to read 💜

She likes his voice and his music, thinks he's a great actor and likes him because on top of being talented, he's Latino AND speaks Spanish. All things she really likes in celebrities lol

But she doesn't feel attracted to him in the way I am because she's a lesbian lol So she appreciates his beauty, he's very aesthetically pleasing to her and she realizes he's a gorgeous man. But who doesn't, right?

While watching some of his performances, I scream because he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen and he's hot AF, she looks at me and comments on the way his clothes fit him nicely or how she likes what he did with his hair lol

So basically she enjoys Omar Rudberg in a sane way while I lose my shit lmao

Thank you for reading! I actually shared her reactions to S1 because I use tumblr as a diary lol and I thought she was too much fun not to share. I didn't think people were going to react so positively to it and both me and my sister are blown away by the love 💜

[cowgurrrl]

hi june! 

to say the vibes have been off lately would be an understatement, wouldn’t it? because there has been a lot of negativity, too much for a place that is supposed to be about finding an outlet for your creativity and people to share your interests.

i know it has been difficult, draining to be around here and face all the discourse cankering the fandom. 

because of all this negativity, i believe it is important to try and balance it out with some kindness. so here i am, doing a little check-up on you <3

so first, how are you, really?

everything you feel regarding what is happening is valid and you deserve to feel happy and safe around here. so please, make sure you take the time you need from posting, from sharing fics, even just from being on the platform. i want you to know it’s okay and i support whatever you decide, for whatever reason.

i also want you to know that you have your place here, as much as the rest of us. you’re loved and wanted and i can assure you the fandom is a far better place with you in it.

i hope you’re taking care of yourself outside of tumblr as well. please remember to stay hydrated and to eat something 🫶🏼

now i would like you to sit back and enjoy the perfect, quiet night in with joel <3

do not hesitate to reach out if you need to talk, i’m here for you! sending you all my love and so many hugs 🫂

anna 💗

Hi sweet Anna!!

The vibes have been ✨off✨ and I keep seeing people talking about discourse but I honestly have no idea what’s going on so I’m just in my own little lane like ✍️🥸 but I’ve been busy with grad school (and my 12,000 words worth of essays due all within the same week), trying to figure out my living situation for the fall, managing my mental health, work, and all that good stuff so I haven’t been able to churn out fic like I used to and feel a little bad about that but it’s all in my head (more or less)

I’m also just trying to remind myself that this is a hobby and it’s fun and I, obviously, love getting to share my work with y’all but it takes countless hours researching, brainstorming, writing, re-writing, editing, formatting and posting on top of what I’m already researching and writing for school and for my own personal fulfillment (be it poetry, prose, shitty diary entries, etc.,) and trying not to get discouraged if I don’t get as much interaction on it and just being happy it exists and is out there so it’s a balance and one that I’m not always the best at managing!! Thank you for checking in, honey, and I hope you are handling this stress much better than I am lol

[ronearoundblindly]

Bestie, you’re really giving such wise sage vibes lately. Like, everything’s feeling so profound and it pairs well with the new blog theme

(I feel like I’m giving you a little token “here, a nicety. For your hoard” and it reminds me of that scene from princess diaries where they’re like “a chicken. For your table.”) ok anyways hiiii byeeee

I COULDN'T FIND A GIF OF TINY!!! (that's what they called him, right? Huge blond dude? He was great. Had the *heaviest* accent in a land speaking english lol. Excellent movie. Top marks!)

This was the closest I found, but I didn't try Tumblr's gif search because lol why try in that hellhole (moderately affectionate but truly disdainful)??

*unbelievably bizarre rant about how perfect this reference became below the cut, but tldr; thank you for your nicety!

Yes, 'tis always a time of great reflection for me--right around my birthday--and I'm happy it hasn't turned people off to the fun of fanfic. I just really enjoy complex thinking. I enjoy building multi-faceted characters and storylines. I enjoy when things don't go the way you expected (IN FIC). Stuff like that makes our brains work harder to see and understand the real world around us.

I don't like the idea that I'm 'making excuses' for bad behavior, but I'm also concerned by how many logical and self-preserving actions we take offense to when we aren't the person benefitting. There's absolutely douchey folks out in the world, selfish people who dngaf about you or your feelings, but remember even those you love can't have all of you and your energy all of the time. Maybe that feels like selfishness to them in those moments? Doesn't mean it wasn't right for you and possibly best for them as well.

How can you be your authentic self if you don't give yourself any time to be?

I have the luxury of being a very patient person. It's perhaps the single most-helpful trait I possess (which also makes me sit a very long time on nice comments such as, well, most of yours 😘), and I've grown fond of the idea that my patience has led to understanding that imperfect moments, inarticulate speeches, and misinterpretations can be unifying, clarifying, and informative.

Just don't chase the chicken! Watch it roam. Laugh at the absurdity. Remember to conserve your energy for pursuits worth your time. But of course, thank Tiny for his offering. A chicken for your table was a logical gift from him. He did not bring it to shit in your throne room.

Give yourself as much grace as you give others. Reflect on your actions as much as you do everyone else's. Then give yourself space, as much space as you can for as long as possible, until you see all the facets. You won't right away; you won't even see how your own brain works for a while.

Live imperfect moments. Give inarticulate speeches. Misinterpret and be misinterpreted.

You are offering a chicken for the table, and sometimes, they get loose and cause chaos. Sometimes, with your best intentions and all your logic, your offering to the world will shit in the throne room. It's okay. It happens to all of us.

Thank you for being you, Essie!

[justlikejohn]

hello i really really really really like the song bedroom community and i need to be autistic about it! what better place is there to do it than tumblr, eh? :3 fyi. i am not a very good musician and i know very little about actual music THEORY (didnt even do it for gcse lol) so forgive my poor vocabulary and my general ignorance, lol.

its this terribly emo style with this unabashed angst and cliché in its melody! it's clear glass beach is inspired by mcr because of this cover they did of welcome to the black parade - it influences their music in the BEST ways. like the scream at the end of the second chorus seems obvious but it makes me feel !!! so!!!! and using multiple voices in the end of the bridge with the "la"s is so classic but it fills me with so much Emotion. it feels like comradery. this bit of tune at the end of the chorus is like a punch to the gut to me!

its so well paced as well. a bit faster, at it would be folk-y, a bit slower and it loses that frantic driving force of the rhythm guitar and the drums - its just the right speed to take you through the story and aghjasjhgds

i do love the instrumentation, too. its got those gooood smooth synths with fun basslines and crunchy rhythm guitars! AND the drumming is good (and sounds like it was recording irl rather than done electronically! :D check 1:42 - the ride cymbal has some good organic variation that indicates this) which i care about a lot :))

most of all, i like the lyrics. my interpretation of the song is a story of a trans girl who kills herself. of course, i am not trans, so i am not good at inferring which lines were written about her transness, lol. its the consensus of a lot of glass beach fans, though! anyway, here:

it's almost mocking her in a way, here! the tone of the delivery is that shes "SO" depressed, and it states that she is naive: but that this is so genuine for her. it doesnt matter that its trivial, that a fly on the wall would judge the simplicity of her sadness, it is so real for her! she STILL sings, it's the only way she can cope. i just. you know when youre depressed and you cringe at yourself for your own incapability?? a different form of self-loathing, a loop of hating yourself because you hate yourself so much.

and then, everything cuts out but the synths and the vocals - which just conveys SO much to me, because its like. stop the emo crap. stop the drums and guitar and fun riffs because this is sincere. this is her life. this is her trying to get her shit together and being too mentally ill to.

AND LOOK! she's loved so SO much by the speaker. she ISNT useless like she believes herself to be. she laughs and is loved.

but. but, but, but, but! it doesnt even matter how much she is loved or that her life is worth so much. shell never break out of her box, her bedroom, in this bedroom community. gahhh!

like, here again: calling her a "stupid girl" to totally diminish her experience. "you probably caught this 'mental illness' from her. i bet youre faking, shes not a good influence." its so fucking mean and judgemental and it IS how she is treated!

and this is my favourite section of the whole fucking song. as if, when she kills herself, it was inevitable. as if it was destiny that she should be so fucking miserable she had to. as if people had tried to help her. as if its her fault. because it WAS murder! to let this happen to someone without caring or catching them. and importantly - its as "they" stop to look: its a third party judging this event! its not her, or her dad, or the speaker who loves her so much, its "them".

AND THESE LINES MAKE ME FERAL!!!!! to rifle through her journals and notebooks and diaries for her thoughts AFTER the fact. the care about her struggle AFTER shes dead. to violate her privacy to find words for a "liturgy" - its not what she wanted. does it even matter? it would fucking matter to her. and it transitions into a swung rhythm here rather than being straight - it's mirroring the relaxed tone of the lines! it's saying that this is so normal that it's casual and boppy. so, so, so, so, even after all this, shell never leave her bedroom in this bedroom community. shell always be trapped, because she was never able to leave. OUGH GOD.

AND THEN IT FUCKING TRANSITIONS INTO A KICKASS INSTRUMENTAL SECTION ??? LIKE. YES GIVE ME THAT SYNTHY BIT THEN THE ACAPELLA VOICES AND THE FUCKING PIANO-ASS-PIANO-SOLO.

and then it goes into those punchy "no"s and it feels like the singer is fighting something! like, they agree with themself by the end - "no, shell never leave her bedroom..." but its almost as if theyre trying to deny the tragedy! to resist the story! its so . anguished. god. and it does the tune again, and ends on something like wailing - the way the singer does "hates her life" makes me BELIEVE in it, yaknow ??

god. i listened to this song on my way to my first university open day and i was so, so scared. i heard the line "a girl who hates her life" and i thought, "hey, a song about me." i heard that she would never leave her bedroom floor. that she wastes all her fucking time. that she kills herself and people rifle through her diaries and notebooks for an explanation that isn't there because they don't want to see it. i listened to it on that school coach by myself on my tinny clip-on headphones (the ones that make me feel like an anime character) and i gripped that university prospectus and i tried not to cry! and i listened to it studying in the dark sixth form library and i listened to it on my good days out in the city on my own and i listened to it on nights i listed reasons not to kill myself over and over and over. and i showed it to all my friends and now i am showing to you! :))

[solanger]

wednesday, 29th may - 03:29

i have never used tumblr before. i never had it as a tween, and i only really knew it was a thing when we were all in lockdown. even then, i didn't have it and i didn't know what was going on here. i still very much don't.

today i start my online diary. i start because i'm not great with keeping up with my written one - my last entry was last year august. so much has happened since, e.g. uni, and i have no energy to catch up. so i start afresh now, on tumblr.

this is my first entry. i have nothing new to add. maybe i should talk about me.

i am 18, foundation year of uni studying astrophysics in wales. i love marvel. i collect guinness world record books. i live eat and breathe music, my name probably gives that away lol. solange and kendrick are my favourite artists. i also really like sza, steve lacy, kaytranada, fleetwood mac and beach bunny. i want to start getting into laufey and hozier. i like going on walks, especially by the seaside. i am a summer person. i hate the cold (but i do like snow). i wear my heart on my sleeve, a very emotional person. i will literally cry at anything and everything. i daydream a lot at any given circumstance. that's usually why i'm awake so late. what else? i'll think of more as i carry on this blog.

i have an exam, my final exam of the year, on friday (31st may). it's so weird how i've already finished my first year of uni, i'm sure i started yesterday. how time flies by when you're having fun. also crazy how i got into and out of a whole relationship within this one year. it sucks and is astonishing at the same time.

i can't wait to *officially* start summer. i want to go to the beach, picnic with my friends on fields, go to random places we find on tiktok, party!!, and most importantly be happy. i usually sound like a ted talker when i talk about happiness, it's my biggest motto and main goal in life. again, that will be talked about as time goes on.

it is now 03:40, so i think it's best i scroll through pinterest to daydream about a life i wish i lived while listening to... solange!!

talk soon!

mali

[hollowfaith]

Pick 2 in every section except Canon Muses and Fandoms (pick 1 from those) :3

Questions for the mun

this is long so imma cut it lol

BASICS x2 What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

in 3rd grade we watched the cartoon movie version of the legend of sleepy hollow and had an assignment to write a summary of it. i was barely out of ESL at the time but thought it was a neat assignment (and prided myself on my memory for details) so i hecking did my best and wrote a long detailed one (with pictures because it was elementary school and you could illustrate your stuff) and for some reason my teacher and the principal were all happy about it and made a big deal complete with ceremony and applause and made me feel important and cool.

after that i was like "yeah! that was awesome. can't i write more stories like that even outside of school?" and thus it kicked off my journaling obsession besides writing diaries of my daily life. i did a lot of original fics and sailor moon/digimon-inspired stuff but when i found ff.net it was like discovering a whole new world where you could control the characters to do whatever you wanted (while staying IC, cause that was definitely part of the "rules" of the challenge) and that was amazing.

realizing writing meant i could take destiny into my own hands for these made-up blorbos was such a fun power trip. i have tried to use that power responsibly ever since.

Do you still write your first muse?

dahlia hawthorne was my first real muse on tumblr and i poke her now and then, but she seems content in her semi-retirement in my brain. sometimes she wakes up to snark people but she's enjoying her vacation in peace right now : )

CANON MUSES x1

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

don't shoot me but before i wrote yagen toushirou for touken ranbu i was like "yeah yeah okay this is just a standard big brother x cool doctor type trope," i actually didn't even pick him up until i wanted to try someone new and my other friends (playing other swordboys at the time) suggested him

then i had to research him and really fell in love with the dichotomy of his character, about how he's very human with his brothers but also 100% a weapon and embraces that fact, about the juxtaposition of DUTY vs. FEELING and the HUMAN HEART vs. OBJECT/TOOL he's been balancing all his life on a very fine line (and does flawlessly, because he's yagen) and i was like, heck! this is gonna be so fun to RP and make him deal with stuff

tho most of the time i got into crack threads again and shipping with Fudou it was still very very fulfilling and im glad my friends convinced me to try him out :D

OCs x2

Do you have developed dynamics with the OC of another mun that has influenced your OC or Canon muse?

yeah I mean this guy wouldn't exist without Jade's Klaus u know? his template might've been taken from his faceclaim guy but the rest of him i molded to fit Jade's OC, specifically his personality and to an extent his looks. in some ways Klaus has everything Aurelius lacks and vice versa, they have this classic balancing scales thing going on that i like very much and try to fill intentionally.

i also wanna say Klaus is one of the few windows to Aurelius' genuine gentle/good side, the side he might have been all the time if his father didn't screw him up from birth (of course i can't say his dad is all to blame, but he sure takes 60~75% of the blame).

as for developed dynamics im guessing this is asking about interactions with another OC that influenced this one...why do i feel like they've all been humbling experiences... Issy has shown him some humans are worth treating with care, Constantine has demonstrated how not everyone takes his shit, Dar is there to inspire working business relationships while highlighting Aury's awkward aspects fitting in, Huey undos all the good work everyone else puts in by proving how crappy some humans act, etc.

idk how to answer that part aside from "they help subvert expectations, but i don't know if that's enough to actually change the way he acts" why did i pick this Q the second part's hard to answer hahah

Who was your first OC?

time to get embarrassing so my first OC with an actually established backstory and stuff was this girl with a randomnly generated Japanese name i thought was pretty (Saikoubi) for a digimon RP group

and i intentionally gave her a happy-go-lucky personality and positive outlook because looking at the rest of the applicants everyone was like either emo or orphaned or both and my 14-year-old self was like "well! how are we going to save the world as digidestined if we're sad all the time" and basically made her the complete opposite of everyone else

it was rad, people got to be edgy, she got to be sunny, we didn't really get past the first region between our threads before the group died down but i think we all had fun and that's what matters in the end xD

FANDOMS x1

What is your favorite fandom in which you write?

i still like touken ranbu but it's more fun to write (RP) that when other swordboys are around, plus the fandom's so saturated with new swordboys these days it's hard to keep up with latest lore stuff. i still try to write 1 fanfic for it in the annual xmas secret santa thing the english-speaking fans host, tho i'm very very slow these days

beyond that i've been dipping into FFXIV fic writing a few times but i haven't grasped the language of the world well enough yet so i'm not satisfied with my work ehhh it is what it is for now

SHIPS x2

Do you plot a ship or see where it goes?

it's more fun to see where a ship goes because i like unpredictability. like the unscripted stuff feels more genuine to me especially if it surprises me u know? i do acknowledge the value of a well-planned romance but in a fall first vs. fall harder relationship i'm definitely invested more in the "fall harder and beautifully in all the disastrous ways" kinda person

i think that's how my past ships have generally gone, finding a connection between 2 muses, expanding on it, referencing it, and then boom! one day you know so much more about the other muse and you're always thinking about them and wait, what, we're hanging out together? just the two of us? is this a DATE? kinda revelations are very fun

What are you looking for in a ship?

i enjoy ships with room to develop. like it's cute when they come together and are all kiss kiss/blush blush but the process to getting there is half the fun! and the pining. and maybe a little misunderstanding here and there.

uhhhh i guess what im saying is i like the journey to get to the ship even more than the ship itself sometimes

or if we're in a ship let's go crash the boat for fun!!

hehe drama

TUMBLR x2

What was your first blog / URL?

preciousdollie

if it sounds cringe it's feenie's fault he came up with the nickname...even announced it to everyone in court of all places

Do you still have your first blog / URL?

yeah the blog's still up tho the theme's so old it's a little broken. i basically keep all my RP blogs around for archive purposes, i like going back to read the stuff sometimes (also the reblogs of art and aesthetic posts are cute + good cause some tumblrs delete and you lose that post forever otherwise)

[tacitusauxilium]

tagged by: @icyexecutioner (cause the moment I saw it on my dash, I HAD to do it! oOo)

tagging: anyone who is a female with a male muse!

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

let's see--i just finished playing p3p for the first time in 2012 and began to look on tumblr for fanart. saw there were RP blogs and it looked absolutely fun to interact and to create scenarios i've always wanted to see! and noticed that Fuuka was barely on tumblr. in a blink of an eye, i began to rp her and well...here you go~

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

hmmm... fight scenes. because they are so difficult to type out and while it's a blessing to have someone who cannot fight, i WANT to write them but a bit scared to do it tbh.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

angst. oh god i am good at crushing people with my angst then and now. i will say my sexual stuff has gotten better and really wanna write more of that--a huge fan of hurt and comfort stuff, too!

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

they pop up in my head or when i'm talking to a friend or listening to music--something just motivates me and i just have to type it down before i forget. or if someone asks me a question about fuuka, i try to make it into a headcanon post if possible.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

depends. i usually just have background noise because of my almost 3 year old, but if i need to get focus, i will turn music on and let myself go to town!

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i like to plan my replies out--if it's an important thread, that is. besides that, i will usually wing them, then re-read it to make sure it made sense, and then post it lol

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

omg yes i do! i need more tbh--i want to experience ships that make me think on my toes and/or ships that have characters not talking to one another but a few times (a la Shinji).

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

you can call me Brittany, but back in the day I was called Kiki because i had the hair-do of Kiki from Kiki's delivery service--my husband coined the term tbh.

ᴀɢᴇ?

i am 30 but will be 31 next month!

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

may 25th~

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

teal, pink, purple, and white.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

tolerate it, maroon, exile, and the 1, all by taylor swift. i am on a taylor swift binge and i love it.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

uhhhh... i think i watched the Barbie movie.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the apothecary diaries--just finished the dub for season 1. SO FUCKING GOOD

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

maroon--taylor swift

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

the chewy chips ahoy cookies that just break off so easily in your mouth--omg.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring--love the flowers blooming and the rain that falls that helps me sleep~

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

uhhhh...i think i have a lot of friends tbh. best friend? i think it'll have to go to @segnisacfessis as of recent with us RPing on discord and doing fuuka/shinji and chidori/junpei stuff lol

[detroitbecomeonline]

Not expecting a reply, just wanted to drop by and say THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I started doing a little modding around in January, mainly trying to google and learn stuff only to find out that info and the modding community of DBH is scarce. I’m a very shy person, so starting to talk with other modders didn’t (and still doesn’t) seem like an option. Not to mention not knowing how to approach them ans where.

I used all the little info I found and got as far as to learn how to do hex swaps on the dbh demo (since the online model swapoer doesn’t work on it). Also found tutorials for textures but didn’t go for it yet. Now that I finally have the full game I’m better able to do more stuff.

Thanks to your activeness, more info has become easily available. Of course I have to thank the whole modding community as well, but I personally feel like it wasn’t until you came along that the info started to surface.

So thank you again and keep doing what you do. I love to follow your modding diary and I’m excited to learn from your learnings!!

I started modding at the start of the year too! I'm so glad you're finding my mod diary entries helpful.

I really want DBH modding information to be much more public, so that's why I started my diary! Unfortunately, a lot of people keep things private when they're not supposed to/are told not to share it. I somehow got caught up in that (which you will see in one of my previous entries) even though it's like, the opposite of what I want to achieve.

I can't take credit for "figuring out" the mods though. People have figured these out long before I got here, and those people are linked in my previous entries. <3

I would love to learn a programming language so I can reverse engineer the game and get codes that way rather than asking fellow modders, but learning that feels so out of my grasp since I like, you know, have work to do. Grass to touch. It's time that I wish I had!

Unfortunately, (and this is NOT to cause drama) my main source of info/mentor has blocked me on Tumblr because she misunderstood a post I created (classic Twitter-style misunderstanding lol)(and no hate to her at all! I am unable to talk to her privately anywhere to reconcile and clarify. So, I'm locked in a learning stalemate at the moment), so the entries will be significantly slower.

You are absolutely welcome to DM me if you get stuck with something. I only know as much as people tell me, so if you figure anything out, please let me know! I'd love to learn anything from anywhere and put it in an entry for more people to find.

I hope your modding journey is easy! It's tough for me because I have no idea what I'm doing and finding stuff is so, so hard. So I hope you're having fun and getting the results you want. I'm so glad you're using my regurgitated info lmao <3

DATE: 01/03/2023

[wanderlustqueen-writes]

@nuri148 thanks for the tag, linda 💕☺️

I'm not very good at sorting my preferences, so I don't think I can do a "top 10" thing either. Here goes:

10 films that I love (in no particular order!)

The One I Love (2014): a troubled couple rents a summer house as part of a couple's therapy experience. The name of the movie in Portuguese is very romcom-y, something like "Complications of Love" so when I saw it on TV I thought it was just a rom-com, and BOY WAS I WRONG! This one is definitely a wild ride and, to this day, I still don't know if I love it or am just really disturbed by it. 

Arrival (2016): aliens arrive on earth and a linguist tries to learn how to communicate with them. This movie is very dear to my heart, not only for the overall quality and amazing turns but because it is a bit of a twist in science fiction. I'm so used to sci-fi movies revolving solely around STEM, it's refreshing to see one centered on human sciences.

Nope (2022): science fiction meets horror meets western. This movie is definitely unique and so well done, from the screenplay to the acting and the PHOTOGRAPHY, not to mention the symbolism. As Isabela Boscov said, Nope has as many layers as the viewer (no pun intended) wants to dig for. It's a gift that keeps on giving. I've seen it three times since its release, and I'm ready for a fourth.

Interstellar (2014): eye-opening, mind-blowing, heart-shattering. Time really is relative because these three hours feel like mere minutes! 

Bridget Jones's Diary (2001): I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy, and Bridget Jones's Diary has the best elements of the genre: a relatable protagonist? Check! Compelling plot (pride and prejudice retelling)? Check! Ridiculous moments? Check! The movie is FUN like few are. 

Peter Pan (2003): this is a childhood favorite. I watched this version of Peter Pan every day for like a year when I was younger. I used to dream about leaving everything behind and going to Neverland, swimming in an ocean of stars (escapism much?)

The Pacifier (2005): Another childhood film! Vin Diesel, a US Navy Agent, is assigned to protect (read: babysit) the children of a government scientist. I don't have an explanation for this, except for IT'S FUN! I rented the DVD at least 20 times! 

Music and Lyrics (2007): have I mentioned I'm a sucker for romantic comedies? This one has an unusual setting and pairs two actors I really like, Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, but the best part is the music! I love this soundtrack, especially "PoP! Goes my heart" and "Way Back into Love".

Twilight (2008): I was twelve when I first read the book and watched the movie, and it was my first contact with fandom, so this already makes Twilight very dear to me. But this movie also has such vibes! Whenever it's rainy, I find myself craving that atmosphere, missing the soundtrack and that weird blue filter. Idk, it just takes me back to simpler times.

Pride & Prejudice (2005): such a lovely adaptation! There's something so charming about this movie that makes me want to watch it again whenever I see a gifset on Tumblr (which is pretty often lol).

Some of these are childhood favorites I haven't seen in a while, so I don't know how well they hold up today.

@this-is-krikkit @scienter @a-king-named-lear I would love to hear about your favorite films, but only If you wish to participate. This is a 100% pressure-free tag 😉