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drippinwalchemy · 7 years ago

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This Thing That I’m Saying

Part 1 of the Either/Or Series

Summary: Simon and his friends have graduated from Creekside and are ready to enjoy their last summer together. Hanging out at Leah's one afternoon, Simon, Bram, Leah and Abby make plans for the rest of their time together.

Pairings: Simon Spier/Bram Greenfeld

Characters: Simon Spier, Bram Greenfeld, Abby Suso, Leah Burke, Nick Eisner

Tags: Fluff, Canon compliant, Gay male character, college, summer, angst, pining.

Words: 2149

Canon Compliant with Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134404

“I can’t believe you guys talked me into getting my face painted before we took all these” Leah groans.

“Aw, Leah that cat on your cheek is so cute though!” Abby exclaims.

“That’s Totoro,” Leah says, never missing a chance to correct Abby or an opportunity to talk about anime. “He’s like a giant rabbit forest spirit or maybe a small bear? It’s unclear.”

“Thanks for clarifying,” Abby deadpans, “Can’t believe I got a diploma never knowing who Totoro was.”

Graduation was a week ago, and we’re going through pictures from the senior party on Leah’s deck. I guess a couple of years before Alice was in high school some kids had left graduation and gone to a party where there was alcohol and they all drove home drunk. They were in a pretty bad car accident and one of them even died, at least that’s what the rumor was. Ever since, Creekwood has had a mandatory Senior Party right after graduation. All the seniors head to the school which is decked out in Creekwood color balloons, full of food, and set up with events and activities to occupy our time all night. We had gotten our faces painted, then decided it was a good idea to head to the photo booth. It’s pretty lame but we all secretly (OK very openly) had been psyched about it for weeks.

“Not a problem, we still have all summer to knock out that Miyazaki marathon you guys promised me!” Leah says with a smirk.

“Yes! And that Buffy marathon we’ve been talking about FOREVER. I still can’t believe you think I’m Cordelia-” Abby laughs, missing Leah’s purposefully obvious eye roll.

“Hey we talked about this,” Bram interjects, “we’re done making plans for this summer, graduation was a full week ago! Let’s start making some headway on this list of ours.”

“Yaaasss!” Abby howls, “we could really make some progress if Nick would hurry up already! Where is he? It’s not like our coffee order has changed over the last two years.”

Leah and Abby start guessing what was taking Nick so long: he had forgotten the drinks on top of his car again and they flew off as he clipped the corner out of the parking lot, he’d gone home to change out of his work clothes to look nice for Abby, he was at the hospital from burning himself on the cappuccino maker again.

Bram turns to me “You OK? You’ve been quiet since we got here.”

I realized I wasn’t talking as much today but honestly, I'm fine with that. I like listening to my friends talk, soaking up their banter. I woke up after the senior party reliving how much fun we had getting our faces painted, playing giant Jenga, Bram even did a cake walk but the prizes were a bunch of ridiculous pairs of boxers. All the soccer guys won a pair and wore them over their jeans, except Bram of course, he was so modest I think having anyone see him in his underwear even with a full set of clothes on would cause him to disintegrate (‘cept me of course). Since the party though I realized I had taken a back seat with my friends, watching them joke and make all our plans for the summer was something I knew was quickly going to change. After all we’re starting college in August, and aside from Leah and I we’re all scattering, even Bram and I, but I can’t think about that yet, I won’t.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I say, grabbing his hand. “I’m just really happy it’s a Thursday afternoon and I’m somewhere other than Calculus.” God, why did I think Calculus was a good idea, college credit be damned there’s no way it was worth all that grief, although I did get to use the “Mom I need to go to Bram’s for help with Calc” excuse pretty loosely.

“Simon look at this picture of you and Bram!” Abby cooes, holding up her phone. Someone had taken a bunch of the “winners” from the night and posted them to Creeksecrets. On her phone is a picture of Bram and I laughing, me with my head buried in his neck, a hint of the Harry Potter scar I had painted on my forehead peaking out between my hair. Bram got a soccer ball on his cheek, he said it was the boring and obvious choice, I told him it was authentic. I smile and stifle this weird feeling in my chest that maybe words like ‘forever’ don’t mean what they used to.

“Oh my God look at all the hashtags on this!” Leah says grabbing the phone. “#CoupleGoals #Gay #Boyfriends #Spierfeld, you guys this is seriously giving me heartburn it’s so dumb and cute.”

“Aw, I love that picture Babe” Bram says squeezing my hand. We exchange side glances and I know he’s as over it as I am. Ever since we came out Junior year there seemed to of amassed a low key following on the Tumblr of straight girls who had essentially turned us into a meme. At first it was flattering and felt empowering almost, but it quickly became a very high key freaking nightmare. Leah says straight girls fetishize gay guys because we subconsciously remind them of what a heartthrob could look like in the absence of toxic masculinity (Leah started reading a lot of queer books when we came out to be supportive, she’s kind of like my gay guru). Bram has never been one for the spotlight and heck I had gotten so used to being an extra in musicals I never thought I would be at the center of my own story one day, let alone one about love. Dammit there’s that feeling again. Like my heart is beating in my throat and if I speak my friends will get covered in blood. I wonder if Elliott Smith ever wrote a song about this feeling, I doubt it, but I mentally add going through his song book when I get home to the other list of things to do this summer.

Leah senses Bram’s tone. “Look it’s weird for sure, and a lot of these sophomores really should be focusing on studying for the SATs, not fantasizing about you two.”

“Oh wow” Bram says under his breath. I think the idea of anyone but me fantasizing about him makes him nervous, let alone a 16 year old girl.

“But there’s a lot of people who look up to you for legit reasons, people you’ve inspired and people you helped in ways you can’t even fathom, just by being yourselves,” Leah goes on, “that comes with some responsibility so just revel in it while you can.”

Bram’s holding my hand tighter and locks his fingers with mine. I know what he’s saying as soon as he adjusts his hand. Sometimes I can’t believe how special he makes me feel. After prom, we all slept over at Nick’s house in his basement, Bram and I on a pile of blankets underneath his stairs (I may have made a scene to ensure we got the most Harry Potter spot in the basement possible). He fell asleep with his face towards me, his forearms wrapped up in mine. I must’ve stayed up for hours after he drifted off just looking at him, at his perfect knobby fingers and his gentle angled face barely visible in the light of Nick’s VCR clock. How could I be this happy at 18? Who gets to be this blissed out of their mind so early in life? I can’t help but think this means something is coming, I start thinking about the word forever again.

“Yeah guys sorry you’re so dang CUTE!” Abby chimes completely over exaggerated and thank god because this all got way too real way too quickly for how I’m feeling today.

“What gives you NEVER tell me I’m cute!” Nick runs in carrying five iced coffees and his guitar.

Leah and Abby look him up and down. “Definitely went home and changed,” Leah says staring at Nick’s henley.

“Oh you’re not foolin’ anyone with this caught up at work business babe, I smell your body spray from here, what did I tell you about that stuff?” Abby says “You won’t make any friends in Athens wearing that junk”.

“Hey I’m trying to save as much as I can for college and deodorant is expensive!” Nick replies. “Plus I’ve got like 6 flavors left from middle school, this one’s called Beast Mode ”.

“That’s horrifying.” Leah says grabbing her drink.

“Yeah please go shower this is not working for me” Abby says grabbing her coffee and pushing Nick’s face away playfully.

Bram and I both start cracking up as Nick slinks off to shower.

“OK you guys so let’s get to work on this summer then!” Abby says. “What should we do first?”

“Well I was thinking,” Bram says. “We had talked about getting away to the lake, I could ask my Dad maybe about going to his lakehouse next weekend?”

“Bram that’s brilliant!” Leah exclaims. “We should get out of town, I’m so sick of all these grad parties anyways. We get it Taylor Metternich, you’re going to Juilliard, I do not need to eat that information off a fucking cookie.”

“What do you think Si, want to go away next weekend?” Bram asks me. All I can think of is going away with him forever, whatever that means to me now.

“Let’s do it” I say with a smirk.

“What is who doing?” Nick yells from upstairs.

“We’re getting outta Dodge Eisner!” Abby yells back to him. “Make sure you get work off next weekend.”

Nick comes barreling back downstairs. “Yes! I love the lake, dibs top bunk!” Nick says without any hint of irony and Abby rolls her eyes and smiles into her hoodie.

Nick’s grabs his guitar. “Any requests?” He says.

“Play something to cheer Spier up” Leah says. “Where you at today Si?”

I’m a lot of places. I’m here, with my best friends, with my boyfriend. Shady Creek, my home my entire life, soon to be where I grew up. I’m at the end of Summer, I’m at Thanksgiving break when we’ll all be back and I’m even further out than that. I’m thinking about where I was, before I came out, when I met Blue, when I realized he was Bram. I’m everywhere between then and now. Once in physics our teacher said Einstein thought time was a circle and we could theoretically experience all of existence at once in the right dimension. I wonder if Einstein realized that before moving away to college.

“I’m just thinking about how much we still have left to do this summer!” I sigh. “How about some Tegan & Sara?”

“Aw Simon they’re so sad though!” Abby groans.

“That’s the whole point!” I exclaim and Bram starts to laugh cause I swear I’ve had this conversation with him so many times he could write a thesis on it.

“As you wish” says Nick, and he launches into an acoustic Leah’s deck version of Call it Off . Leah grabs Abby’s arm and gives her a side hug, Abby whips out her phone and starts an Instagram story filming Nick, he really is a good singer.

Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at

Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at.

Bram plops his feet up on my lap and I squeeze his calves, his cute firm soccer calves already starting to bronze from the week we’ve been out of school. I listen to Nick, to Tegan & Sara and look around and let myself feel what I’m feeling. I look at Abby and Leah, swooning and laughing and exuding the freedom that comes with this golden space between high school and college. I look at Bram, and oh my god it’s like looking at an eclipse, every muscle in my body transfixed on him while my nerves simultaneously burst into flames from how beautiful he is. I let myself be in this moment in my life, for today and for all the days that still remain in this perfect group of humans I get to call my home.

But now we'll never know

I won't be sad, but in case I go there

Everyday, to make myself feel bad

There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do.

Leah and Abby chime in on the now we’ll never , and I close my eyes and feel the sun speckle my face through the leaves of Leah’s oak tree. I wonder if this happiness, our happiness, is worth the risk of the sadness it keeps at bay. It has to be, I tell myself as I hum the harmony and return to right now.

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lati-will · 7 years ago

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Are You Taking Spirituality Too Seriously? You May Be Missing The Point…

Is spirituality causing you more frustration than fulfillment?

Spirituality is a term I use loosely. Many (or at least I did) associate spirituality with images of dedicated gurus living off of sunshine and plants, stretching their perfectly sculpted yoga bodies into even more perfect asanas, and meditating in the forest for weeks and months at a time in the pursuit of enlightenment and wisdom to save humanity.

As a spiritual life coach, I’ve come across many seekers who are in search of the concept of perfect spirituality to better their lives and be closer to Divine.

My personal journey of searching consisted of long years of yoga, daily meditation with crystals, learning different healing modalities, endless reading lists, healers and mentors, etc. No matter what I did, my mind told me if I perfected one more thing, I’d be closer to the grand prize of living as a fully awakened and aligned being (picture those wise beings called Abraham in Abraham Hicks’ videos).

I know quite a few beautiful souls who get down on themselves when they are not in that “high frequency” place. They get frustrated at their partners for being glued to TV, the “idiots” that cut them off on the highway, or having an off day that starts with being stuck in traffic and ends with a night of turning and tossing; they then get frustrated at themselves for getting frustrated and rush to work on their mindset or try to locate the nearest yoga class. As a result, they wonder what the heck happened to all their spiritual practices and why they have not arrived at that place of divine love with sound of crystal singing bowls — which causes them more frustration. They may even judge themselves for not being spiritual enough.

And there goes nirvana.

Sounds familiar? That was my life for many years, and it is also one of the main complaints from most of my clients and students.

What is “Spirituality”?

My dearest fellow soul traveler, I would like to remind you by quoting the famous line from the French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

It means, everything about you, and everything around you is spiritual, or a manifestation of the One Energy. Every idea you have and every action you take whether it is to volunteer at an animal shelter, or fantasize about throwing the folder in your boss’s face is spiritual. You can awaken to the truth of your existence and spend the rest of your life servicing humanity, or you can continue to be an actor for the role you picked in this large drama called human life without ever feeling the need to awaken; whatever it is that you choose and experience cannot make you any less spiritual because you are already a spiritual being.

How can you wander from Divine if you are Divinity Itself made physical? How can you be spiritual or not spiritual if you are the very definition of Spiritual? Can the essence of the drop ever be different from the ocean just because it has clung to a seashell that has been washed ashore?

It is true that when you are angry, stressed or grieving, you are vibrationally further from the frequency of the true self which is nothing but a state of purest and most powerful love imaginable, hence it creates a false sense of disconnect that makes you want to do whatever you can to run back to it. But in truth, there is absolutely nothing you can do that can divide you from the spiritual because you are That, and you cannot be anything but That.

Regardless of who you are, how you feel and what you choose in life, even if you are without a home, job or friends, or inches away from death, you cannot be any less than the perfection of what you are. You can never be excommunicated from Divine, cut off from the infinite love Source Energy has for you, or be separated from God. The only pressure of you needing to be more spiritual and more perfect is coming from your mind.

What Is the Purpose of Life, Then?

You can spend the rest of your life doing every practice you choose to stay in that high frequency place (there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, I have kept all my “spiritual” practices), but if you constantly beat yourself up every time you happen to feel less than perfect, or run from emotions, tears and failures, you may just be missing the purpose of life — which is to embrace all the ups and downs in this experience called life from your own unique perspective.

One of the most brilliant, and hilarious summaries of the purpose of our existence came out of one of my magic mushroom journeys. While in that Oneness state, I remembered all the knowledge my soul holds and was yelling in absolute ecstasy “I got it! I got it!! I GOT IT!!!”

My sweetheart then chimed in, “Maybe the purpose of life is to NOT get it. Have you thought about it? Maybe the new getting it is not getting it” which caused rapture of laughter among us.

Think about it, if you are meant to “feel good” and “have all the spiritual wisdom” all the time, your beautiful and courageous soul would not have chosen to take on a human body for this grand adventure to begin with! This journey is a bit like going on a rollercoaster ride or watching a thriller in the theatre. You purchase the ticket knowing fully it may scare the bejesus out of you and rock your world, but you do it anyway!

Why? You are here to experience the thrill by embracing every moment and experience!

In the eyes of your eternal Divine Self that transcends duality as well as life and death, there is no good or bad experience, there is only experience.

My dear soul sibling, have you been denying yourself the thrill of the experience called life? Are you always looking to get somewhere or waiting for the next moment to be better than this one?

The grand cosmic joke is that there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. The “you” that is showing up in this moment, or the moment itself is ALL THERE IS.

This is it! You are it! This is the purpose of life, the icing on the cake (and then some), the most glorious journey of all, the exciting adventure only you can create, the magnificent experience your soul so desires and craves even if your mind is saying otherwise at the moment, and the only reason why you came to this planet.

Be here. Be you. And enjoy the ride boldly and unapologetically. Somewhere in this world, I’m rooting for you.

By: Juliet Tang

#spirituality #spiritual #connection #universe #multidimensionality #consciousness #subconscious #life #articles

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allenmendezsr · 5 years ago

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Anxiety Disorder - Blue Heron Health News

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/anxiety-disorder-blue-heron-health-news/

Anxiety Disorder - Blue Heron Health News

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I used to suffer from anxiety attacks. They were intense and they were frequent. And, in a number of ways, they nearly ruined my life.

My anxiety disorder grew steadily worse over the 16 years I suffered it. It seemed to gather strength over time… while my ability to cope with it gradually weakened.

There honestly were times where I wondered where it would all eventually end.

Things are different now.

I don’t suffer anxiety attacks like that any more. I haven’t for nearly two years and my mental health is pretty much fully restored.

It took some time for me to finally get better.

Although, to be truthful, time was something I had plenty of.

Because 16 years of anxiety attacks – and everything that entails – wasn’t going to mind an extra few weeks of the same.

But by the time it had came to its end my anxiety had shrunk to a shadow of its former self.

I don’t miss it!

And why would I?

Any type of anxiety disorder is just plain cruel

Anxiety kicked me around emotionally, mentally and physically.

Anxiety episodes themselves were often dreadful.

Frantic, panicky, scared… Worrying about all sorts of small details, ruminating to the point of panic…

Mentally I’d go round in circles and just think myself into distress and powerlessness.

Anxiety disturbed my sleep to the point I could sometimes wake up more tired than I was when I had gone to bed.

And, inevitably, the misery of it all slipped me into occasional depression.

Mild depression is so common for people who suffer from any kind of anxiety disorder. I simply couldn’t recall the last time I felt relaxed or at ease.

Retreating from life

I tried so hard to avoid anxiety attacks that I retreated from situations and people that might trigger them.

The problem was that for me there were so many possible triggers that I was in danger at times of becoming a recluse.

My anxiety disorder made it difficult for me to make – and sustain – friendships.

Career aspirations took a back-burner too. I had to choose work where my bosses were completely understanding.

And where me being an emotional mess all of a sudden wasn’t going to get me fired! Which does restrict your options somewhat.

Not the future I wanted

I often feared that the effect anxiety was having on my relationships might leave me lonely and without friends. I didn’t want to be lonely…

I especially worried that my ability to work and support myself would deteriorate as the condition made my mental health slowly worsen.

And the physical cost – in terms of conditions that come from ongoing, chronic stress – didn’t bear thinking about.

Because the ongoing stress of my disorder is known conclusively to lead to chronic inflammation in the body.

And with too much inflammation an anxiety sufferer becomes a prime candidate for inflammatory disease. Which includes diabetes, fatty liver, kidney disease, arthritis, heart disease and some cancers.

So as well as a deteriorating mental health outlook…physical disability was an ever-present fear.

Doubting myself

All this made me wonder about me…

What was wrong with me? Why am I like this? What must I look like to other people? What would they be thinking about me?

I really did think sometimes that I was just a ridiculous person.

I tried the usual remedies…

I did everything I could to deal with my anxiety.

Medications made some difference. They often – although not always – took the edge off the worst anxiety attacks.

I took anxiety drugs for a while during my early years of the disease. Eventually on my doctor’s advice I stopped taking them. I was glad to stop – for two reasons.

First, the side-effects of the meds were similar to my actual anxiety! Agitation, sleep problems, loss of memory, poor concentration – even some confusion at times.

Second was that meds don’t address the actual causes of the anxiety.

They only work on symptoms – so you remain ill even when you’re drugged up.

The underlying causes of anxiety remain firmly in place… forever chipping away at your chances of ever having a truly happy life.

I didn’t like putting all those drugs into my body.

And I certainly didn’t like the fact that those meds can become habit forming – which is one of the reasons doctors try to get you off them as quickly as they can.

So what next?

So, like many anxiety sufferers, that left me having to use a variety of techniques to handle my condition.

Some approaches worked from time to time. Nothing was truly reliable though.

I truly thought then that reversing the condition was impossible.

I was wrong… but that was my thinking back then when I was ill.

In the meantime I was pretty stuck. I had better days and I had really difficult days. I rarely had two better days together. After years of suffering like this my anxiety disorder was making me grow tired and despondent.

Bad news… and good news

Even though I wasn’t sure that an anxiety disorder could be successfully treated it didn’t stop me from searching for some sort of miracle cure.

The bad news is that such a thing does not exist.

There are, of course, people out there who say otherwise.

They promise they’ll get rid of all types of anxieties using a secret potion made of some secret tree root they discovered in the forests of somewhere like Panama.

Other ‘gurus’ offer remedies based on all sorts of exotic rituals and exercises. A kind of faith healing, if you like.

I tried enough of them to know that none of these approaches offer single shred of improvement to an anxiety disorder.

There’s good reason why these quirky, untested approaches didn’t work. The people offering these ‘remedies’ simply didn’t understand what anxiety actually is.

They just didn’t understand that all anxiety disorders are intricate conditions with multiple layers of complexity.

There’s not a single pill or an exercise a person can do that’s going to make it go away just like that.

To make a change to an anxiety disorder requires a deep understanding of all the strands that have tied themselves together to create that disorder in the first place.

Thinking you can cure everything with a potion or a yoga exercise is just plain wrong.

Still, the promises are made. And people like me, desperate for some relief, fell for a few of them.

But now there’s some good news. Really, really good news.

If you’re patient, gentle with yourself and willing to slowly work through science-based, research-backed activities… then your world can change.

My world definitely did change.

It changed forever. I didn’t expect it to be this good. I sometimes can hardly believe that it is!

I stumbled on all this by accident

Some years ago I attended an anxiety support group where I used to live. We met weekly and although it didn’t do much to help with my anxiety it was comforting to not be alone with the problem.

It was on a visit back to that old neighborhood that I bumped into one of the group’s members.

Well. Ex-member, to be precise.

Martin had suffered from a different disorder to me – he had OCD for years – and I remembered that he had a hellish time getting it under control.

And although I couldn’t completely understand Martin’s world – my anxiety was generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) with occasional panic attacks (just to make life interesting) – I do know he had struggled a lot.

But while I still had very bad anxiety Martin had…. nothing.

No symptoms of OCD. No stress. No depression. No nothing.

We stopped off for a coffee and he explained what had happened.

The pathway out of anxiety

In a nutshell, Martin had become so despairing of his condition that he’d tried out some natural remedies. If modern medicine couldn’t help him then perhaps alternative medicine could.

Some of the different methods he’d tried had reduced the intensity of his symptoms – which meant that he could function better.

Excited by this small progress he’d gone down the alternative health rabbit hole… and then resurfaced with what he called ‘a miracle’.

Having tried many routes Martin had found a straightforward program that gave sufferers of all types of anxiety a clear but gentle pathway out of their problem – and into repaired and restored mental health.

All anxiety disorders are improved

Martin told me the method he used worked on these types of anxiety disorder:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and similar types of excessive and uncontrollable worries

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and its 4 major profiles

Panic Disorder, including agoraphobia and other intense experiences of fear or emotional discomfort

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder and similar illnesses related to traumatic experiences

Social Anxiety Disorder and other debilitating social fears and anxieties

Martin explained that his condition had melted away bit by bit over time. He’d first noticed a slight lessening of the intensity of his symptoms.

And then a reduction in their frequency.

Over time, intensity and frequency reduced to… just about nothing.

I remember that at the time he was telling me all this, I think my mouth must have hung open. At times he laughed at my expression. ‘It’s true!’ he insisted. And I nearly believed him.

Of course, now I really believe him. Because I’ve had his experience with my own anxiety disorder.

How it works

Martin told me he had been introduced to an alternative health practitioner by the name of Christian Goodman.

Christian Goodman is the creator of a very successful anxiety disorder program that is producing outstanding results for many hundreds of people.

It’s this program that had changed Martin’s life so dramatically.

Now I’m a little sceptical about alternative cures. I do mostly trust doctors and the drugs companies. Not everyone does of course.

But Martin’s advice to try out Christian Goodman’s ‘The End of Anxiety’ program came at a time when I was becomng increasingly worried about both my mental and physical deterioration.

I had reached a stage where I really was prepared to try anything – and this seemed like a pretty good bet.

My route out of anxiety

Christian’s ‘The End of Anxiety’ program guided me carefully through a set of activities that I could do at home whenever I felt up to it.

As I worked through these activities over time so my anxiety gently melted away until it no longer existed.

The program was simple, straightforward and consisted of several types of activities:

Daily habits Some simple daily work that takes a few minutes but which does some of the most wonderful healing I have ever experienced

When-you-feel-like-it activities Some thinking type exercises that helped me change my relationship with myself and my condition. These were transformative…

One-off actions Simple but important things I only had to do once but which revealed really useful insights into what I was suffering

Self-care habits I didn’t know much about how to truly care for myself until I learnt it from Christian. In truth, I didn’t realize how important it was either – until I actually did it. Amongst all the small but memorable victories I enjoyed with this program I think self-care gave me the quickest release from my anxiety misery.

Action activities There are specific things you can do that over time make you healthier in the mind and body. Very simple but once I started I really didn’t want to stop. So I haven’t. Why stop doing what makes you happy?

Beginner’s nerves

I was nervous at first… starting this program itself made me anxious!

It’s almost as if my anxiety was protecting itself from me getting rid of it.

But there were two things I loved about this program.

First, was that there was no timeline for completion, no schedule that forced me to do things in a certain time.

The rate at which I adopted these changes was decided by me and how I felt about them. Sometimes I did more work, sometimes I did less.

It was like a dance… slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. Except that it was me who decided the rhythm and pace.

Second, Christian cautioned me against placing expectations on myself. Things might improve a lot one week but only a little the following week. That’s okay.

You’re only expectation should be that you will follow the program as best you can.

The rest will take care of itself.

Some of the program’s activities worked their magic at a very deep level.

So while they were very easy to do… their benefits don’t reach the surface straight away.

What I was doing was always working – I just had to be a little patient before I experienced the results.

Getting started was easy…

Christian’s plan was eye-opening and inspiring from the first page to the last.

I had suffered my anxiety disorder for 16 years and in that time I’d read books, countless articles and watched hours of videos about anxiety…

Nobody told me the things that Christian taught me.

He opened my eyes to anxiety disorder and made me understand it so much better than I ever had before.

Of course, the problem with so much exciting new information is this: how on earth do I apply all the stuff I’m learning here?

‘The End of Anxiety’ handles that question very neatly.

First of all, Christian clearly explains the route out of anxiety.

He tells you the what, the why and the how of it all.

Simple explanations, clearly made points, easy to follow logic.

But then Christian offers you a simple start-up guide so that you can quickly make the learning work for you.

You know the quick-start sheet you get with a new phone or a complicated watch? It’s like that.

You want to get started now – not next week – so you need some simple steps you can start following immediately.

His ‘How to get started’ section told me what to do now. Then what to do next. Then what to do after that.

And once I built up my own confidence in what I was doing… I did what I wanted when I wanted to do it.

So long as I regularly did something I knew my anxiety was going to lose this battle.

And it did.

The difference that made the difference

I’m not criticizing the standard medical approaches to the various forms of anxiety.

Drugs, for all their addictive qualities and unpleasant side-effects, do make some difference.

CBT can make a difference too, even if it eventually wears off for many people.

And there are various self-management techniques that help us delay an attack, reduce it – or simply survive it.

But none of these really get to the heart of what’s wrong.

None of these will ever make you better.

One thing I learned from Christian is that anxiety disorders come from a place that can be very deep within us.

It’s not like a cut on your arm or a broken bone – something that can be clearly seen, easily diagnosed and quickly fixed.

Our disorder is hidden. It’s complex, tangled.

The causes of the disorder, the way the disorder affects us, our own thinking about ourselves and our world, and the coping mechanisms we employ to cope with our difficulties…

…all these are layered into the disorder itself, making it a deeper, much less accessible problem.

They feed into each other, creating a spaghetti-like tangle of fears, negative thoughts and distress.

It’s impossible to see where one aspect of our disorders begin and another one starts.

This is where Christian’s program is so different from anything I’d experienced before.

Standard medical remedies mostly address the symptoms – the surface – of the problem.

They get us through the day – which is a vital help – but we remain ill even when we’re managing to function.

Whereas ‘The End of Anxiety’ works very gently on the underlying causes of an anxiety disorder.

It gets to the foundation of the problem… and starts wearing away that foundation.

Instead of drugging me out of my anxiety Christian works on the inside, the source of that anxiety disorder.

And once it starts doing its work then the anxiety’s causes – whatever they are for your type of anxiety – start to subside.

Not because I’d medicated them out of existence but because they had started losing their grip on my life.

They were simply losing their reason to exist.

Quick anxiety relief…

Christian understands anxiety disorders.

Certainly he understands them better than I did. I suspect he knows more about the underlying condition than even my doctors.

After all, he did in weeks what my doctors hadn’t managed to do for me in 16 years.

But he states clearly that this isn’t a quick-fix-cure.

So you can expect to still experience your anxiety for some time – even while following this program. Things will improve. Attacks will become less frequent – and less intense when they do occur.

But while you’re still getting them Christian steps you through an excellent coping strategy that will dramatically reduce the intensity and the duration of the experience.

It was a new coping method for me – I’d never heard of this particular way of getting through an attack.

It helped keep me upright when things got tough. Which meant I was generally in much better condition to continue with the gentle work of melting away my disorder.

I wish I had learnt this years ago! But better late than never, I guess…

How about you?

I don’t know how you’re suffering. You may have a different anxiety disorder to the one I used to have. Or you may simply experience the same disorder in a completely different way.

Either way, I imagine that you’ve reached a point where you just don’t want it any more.

I empathize more than you might imagine. I do know what it’s like.

Anxiety disorder has no upside. It’s a cruel affliction that simply eats away at our happiness and destroys our simple hopes for a peaceful, contented life.

We didn’t earn our anxiety disorder. We don’t deserve what happened to us. It isn’t our fault.

Yet we feel that we’re stuck with it for life, that our anxiety is as much a part of ourselves as an arm or our kidneys.

It turns out though that this simply is not the case.

As nearly a thousand people have now found out… we’re no longer helpless and anxiety doesn’t have to be a life-sentence.

With patience and the right guidance we can gently ease ourselves out of the darkness and into the light.

Christian Goodman’s ‘The End of Anxiety’ is that guidance.

And the moment I decided I wanted to heal and that I was going to take those first tiny steps towards saving myself from a life of anxiety misery… was the single best day of my life.

Because everything that is wonderful in my life now is because of the decision I made then.

How will it be for you?

Well, you have your type of anxiety disorder. You experience it in your own unique way. So your own experience of anxiety is uniquely yours. There’s nobody else quite like you.

Which means your journey to healing might differ in some respects to mine.

The key though is that you get on that path. This is what really matters.

Once I’d decided that enough was enough – I had put myself firmly on that path.

I wanted a different kind of life.

One that was significantly calmer, more predictable, and which freed me to lead the kind of normal existence that so many other people take for granted.

And that’s my reality now.

By following Christian’s advice to the letter you present your anxiety with an irresistible healing force.

Over time, it has no option but to surrender.

Christian’s program is guaranteed

Hundreds of people have successfully used ‘The End of Anxiety’ to successfully treat their anxiety disorders. They followed the guide and allowed improvements to come in their own time.

Their lives now are nothing like their lives were before.

The change to their anxiety disorder – and therefore to their day-to-day happiness – has been quite literally transformative.

There’s no reason why it wouldn’t be exactly the same for you.

Which is why Christian offers you a complete money-back guarantee on his program.

If within 60 days purchasing ‘The End of Anxiety’ you are not completely happy with the changes to your anxiety situation so far… then you can have all your money back. No questions.

Christian makes this guarantee because he’s witnessed so very many people gain life transforming benefits from following his simple plan. Their health and happiness improves as their anxiety recedes into the background.

They are relaxed, calm and in control of their lives. They experience few – or, in most cases, absolutely no – anxiety symptoms.

I wanted to know what it felt like to live my life without an anxiety disorder. I found out. And you can too – click here and get your own copy of ‘The End of Anxiety’…

All anxiety sufferers realize in the end that if we’re going to heal then we are going to have to play an active role in that healing.

If you’ve endured anxiety for any period of time then you already know that it isn’t going to just disappear on its own.

If you do nothing… it’s yours forever.

My anxiety had a cause. Yours does too.

Your anxiety cannot withstand an approach that directly affects that cause.

It cannot resist something that gently dissolves its grip on your happiness.

Christian’s research-backed methods gradually eased anxiety out of my life.

So I know it works.

And Christian guarantees it.

If within 60 days purchasing this program you don’t agree that you’re feeling significantly better than you have done for years then you can have all your money back.

I took Christian up on this same offer a little over 2 years ago. I’m a completely changed person – and I live a much happier, stress-free life.

That can be your story too. Take charge of what’s happening to you… and then watch it change. Get ‘The End of Anxiety’ by clicking here…

There’s no end to where an anxiety disorder can take you.

Over time, a sufferer’s mental health deteriorates. If the condition isn’t addressed head-on, depression becomes significantly more likely.

That’s not all. The condition eventually undermines physical health too.

Ongoing stress – an integral part of anxiety misery – releases stress hormones into the bloodstream.

And ongoing levels of stress hormones in the body lead to inflammation and a host of related physical diseases – with diabetes, kidney and liver disease, heart disease and various immunity malfunctions being the most common.

I wasn’t going to let this happen to me. First my mental health was suffering.

And then my physical health could follow suit.

Enough was enough. I wasn’t going to wait around until my health had deteriorated to the point of no return. I didn’t want that regret hanging over my head.

Once I made my decision to heal… Christian’s program did the rest.

It was easily the best decision I have ever made.

If you’ve read this far then I believe you’ve made your decision too.

You’ve decided you’re not going to suffer like this anymore. You’ve decided you’re going to heal.

Which means you need ‘The End of Anxiety’. Click here and you can have it…

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mindfullofyoga · 6 years ago

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Ma and the city girl

"Look! Look! Look deep into nature and you will understand everything. “Einstein”. During the first half of June I spent some time at a Yoga retreat in Southern Turkey, along with three other teachers from the SvahaYoga team. The location was perched on the Lycian coast, blue meeting green as mountain forests rose steeply from a rocky shoreline.I soon got to walking off alone into the forest, exploring ever further the mountain paths and valleys. As I walked deeper into the tall trees the sounds of civilization would fall away, until I was enveloped by a stillness alive with energy and communication.I can 100% recommend going somewhere wild and just being with trees, and, to be honest, I'm not sure how we actually manage these days without plugging in to true nature, but it's certainly not without some great cost to our wellbeing. In Japan, they practice something called shinrin-yoku. Shinrin means "forest," and yoku means "bath." So shinrin-yokumeans bathing in the forest atmosphere, or taking in the forest through the senses. It is simply being in nature, connecting with her through sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch...resting our eyes in the multitudinous shades of green, inhaling the phytoncides as they are exhaled by the trees.

"Believe one who knows: you will find something greater in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters." ~ Saint Bernard de Clairvaux

This month the Svaha Yoga focus of the month is Gurus...a Sanskrit term for someone who is a a guide, a teacher, a master. Teachers come in many forms, but the ultimate Guru is Nature, our collective Mother. The Hindus call their multitude of Goddesses Ma, meaning 'mother' and they are sometimes said to be various aspects of the Goddess Devi or Mahadevi. In some myths Devi is the prime mover, commanding the cycle of creation and destruction, arising and falling away, that comprises the fabric of the Universe. To paraphrase Alan Watts, we don't come into this world. We come out of it, like a wave from the ocean, and none of us are strangers here. No matter who you are, where you live, or what kind of life you lead, you will always be inexorably linked with the rest of creation.

"The purpose of life is undoubtedly to know oneself. We cannot do it unless we learn to identify ourselves with all that lives. The sum-total of that life is God." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

As a I sat on the forest floor, I gathered up a handful of fallen leaves, noticing the intricacy of each, and was reminded once again that Nature never duplicates, that every leaf for all eternity is a unique expression of an unbounded creative force, that this uniqueness is the meaning of our existence, to experience life as no other has ever done or ever will do, to know Oneself, as the Universe experiences itself through our singularity. I observed an ant toiling away with a heavy load on a working day, and myself, both of us equal but different, with no other purpose but to live and experience. Untamed nature teaches us to be truly ourselves, and to coexist in harmony with all others also just being truly themselves. As my journey had begun I was in somewhat of a somber mood, but during my forest walks I noticed that my perspective altered, as if I had received some download of missing information, and I started to feel much more strong in myself. I think a loss of wellbeing is often connected to a sense that we are not allowed to be who we really are, or a sense of being far away from who we really are. The cure is to return to Ma.

"The forest makes your heart gentle. You become one with it... No place for greed or anger there." ~ Pha Pacha

Billie Savage, Teacher Svaha Yoga Amsterdam

#svahayoga #vinyasaflow #yogaamsterdam #yogalife #vinyasayoga #loveallserveall #yogainspiration

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allenmendezsr · 5 years ago

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Anxiety Disorder - Blue Heron Health News

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Anxiety Disorder - Blue Heron Health News

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