#i love toxic relationships in fiction but they made it too real to enjoy that way

[c0rrupt3dsp1r1t]

benny and jason stop being horribly mutually abusive for five minutes without having sex challenge (impossible)

[rowinablx]

Buckle up, because I’ve had it with the relentless toxicity from a certain subset of Buddie shippers who seem hell-bent on turning a fun fandom into a cesspool of harassment, bitterness, and entitlement—specifically aimed at BuckTommy shippers and Lou. This isn’t about all Buddie fans—many of you are lovely and just want to enjoy your ship in peace—but this is a loud, unhinged call-out to the vocal majority who’ve taken it way too far. You know who you are, and it’s time to sit down and listen.

First off, let’s talk about the sheer audacity of harassing BuckTommy shippers for simply liking a canon pairing. Buck and Tommy’s relationship became a thing in Season 7, and for a lot of us, it was a breath of fresh air—Buck exploring his bisexuality with a guy who’s got charm, depth, and a bit of grit. It’s not perfect, sure, but it’s real, and it’s happening on screen. Meanwhile, Buddie remains a fanon ship—beautifully crafted by fans over years, no doubt, but still not canon. And instead of just enjoying your headcanons, writing your fics, and letting others vibe with what the show’s giving us, some of you have decided that anyone who dares enjoy BuckTommy is a traitor, a fetishizer, or worse. The insults fly—calling us homophobic for liking a queer couple (ironic much?), accusing us of “settling” for a “lesser” ship, or claiming we don’t get the “true” story of Buck and Eddie. Newsflash: shipping isn’t a loyalty oath. People can like what they like without it being a personal attack on your dreams of Buddie domestic bliss. The fact that you’re out here bullying fans for vibing with a different pairing is pathetic—it’s not a competition, it’s a TV show.

But oh no, it doesn’t stop at fandom infighting. You’ve taken it to a whole other level by targeting Lou Ferrigno Jr. himself. This man is just doing his job, playing a character the writers gave him, and yet some of you have made it your mission to tear him apart. Death threats? Harassment on social media? Spreading baseless rumors about him? There’s chatter online about how you’ve bragged about running actresses off the show with your vitriol, and now you’ve got Lou in your crosshairs. What’s the crime here? That Tommy dared to kiss Buck instead of Eddie? That Lou had the gall to show up and act in scenes you didn’t personally approve? It’s unhinged. The guy took a break from social media during the hiatus between Seasons 7 and 8—gee, I wonder why—and instead of reflecting on how your actions might’ve contributed to that, some of you spun wild conspiracies about him being “hacked” by Buddie fans to make him look bad. No evidence, just vibes and a desperate need to villainize anyone who isn’t Ryan Guzman or Oliver Stark. It’s embarrassing.

And let’s not pretend this is about “protecting” the show’s integrity or some noble cause. This is about entitlement. You’ve built up Buddie in your heads for years—seven seasons of subtext, longing looks, and fanfics—and now that the show’s gone a different route with Buck’s arc, you’re throwing a tantrum. Tommy’s not “Eddie 2.0” or a “plot device” because you say so; he’s a character with his own history, flaws, and potential. But instead of engaging with that, you nitpick every line he says—“Oh, he didn’t dress up for the bachelor party!” “He made a daddy joke, how dare he!”—and twist it into proof he’s a terrible partner. Meanwhile, Eddie’s dry sarcasm or questionable dating history gets a free pass because he’s your golden boy. The double standard is glaring. You’re not mad because Tommy’s poorly written (he’s had as much development as most of Buck’s love interests); you’re mad because he’s not Eddie. And instead of coping with that like adults, you lash out at Lou, at BuckTommy fans, at anyone who doesn’t bow to your vision.

The hypocrisy kills me too. You’ll scream about how BuckTommy shippers are “toxic” for defending our corner, but you’re the ones sending hate mail, making call-out posts, and wishing death on a fictional character—and sometimes his actor—just to clear the path for your ship. I’ve seen posts on Twitter where people say they’ve turned against Buddie entirely because of how you’ve treated them for liking BuckTommy. You’re not just hurting your own cause; you’re alienating people who might’ve been neutral or even supportive. And for what? A ship that, as of 2025, still isn’t canon and might never be? The showrunners aren’t caving to your demands—they’ve doubled down on Buck’s journey with Tommy—so maybe it’s time to take a hint and chill.

Here’s the kicker: I get it. Buddie’s got a special spark—years of friendship, trust, and those heart-wrenching moments that make you root for them. I’ve read the fics, I’ve seen the edits, and I used to ship it. But that doesn’t give you a free pass to ruin everyone else’s fun. Multi-shipping exists. Liking BuckTommy doesn’t erase Buddie’s potential, and harassing Lou doesn’t make Eddie confess his love any faster. You’re not “saving” the show by attacking people; you’re poisoning a fandom that used to be about celebrating 9-1-1’s chaos and heart. So how about this: write your stories, make your art, and let the rest of us enjoy ours. Stop acting like you own Buck’s heart—or Lou’s career—and maybe, just maybe, we can all coexist without this endless ship war bullshit. Because right now? Your toxicity’s the real villain here, and it’s getting old.

[professional-rat-eater]

Let’s just be super clear. If you ship Daniel and Armand and you genuinely believe it wasn’t a horribly abusive relationship, then you are reading their relationship wrong and you also believe there are circumstances where relationships between kidnapper/abuser and kidnapped/abused can work. Saying it’s just fiction doesn’t make sense because it still doesn’t exist there.

It’s not about the law, or what was common at the time. The relationship is believable. That definitely happened back in the 1970s. It’s not about whether it could have happened, because those relationships still happen in some places. But just because we don't want to use the medical term for the severe damage being done to Daniel’s mind, does not mean it didn’t happen.

There is no context that you could give that would make a relationship between a regular human (a deeply traumatised one) and a grown powerful abuser healthy. It does not exist, even in fiction. Daniel was an actual human and that isn’t how humans work.

Just call it what it is. If that’s gonna be your thing, be honest about what it actually is. If Daniel himself can acknowledge it, then you should be able to as well. It’s impossible to actually discuss these characters if people are just going to lie and purposely misinterpret them. Daniel’s trauma is literally the entire Devil's Minion thing and Armand is all that there's to it. If Armand isn’t an abusive creep, he is simply not Armand.

LMAO! So for anyone seeing this that didn’t see the post that provoked it, this is word-for-word a post I made about Marius and Armand’s relationship but with the names swapped out for Daniel and Armand.

Hey anon, these are not equivalent and I think you know that. Yes, I’m sure there more people like Daniel who were stalked around the globe by ancient vampires in the 1970s. Maybe there’s enough for them to start a support group for each other. And yes, you’re so right that this is exactly the same as real children who are groomed by real adults in the real world. What a fair and reasonable comparison to make that isn’t at all reductive to both DM and the character you’re trying to defend.

I know you probably think this is the call out post of the century but you’ve neglected to consider a pretty significant detail:

Virtually every Devil’s Minion shipper knows they’re toxic, much like Marius fans who understand him can admit to what he is. I know DM are toxic. If I knew Daniel irl, I would be telling him to get the fuck out of there. We all know Armand is evil and manipulative. It’s literally why we like him. I saw how pathetic and fucked up he was and was immediately enchanted by him. You see the difference between that and the specific Marius fans I talk about? We acknowledge exactly what Armand is and enjoy his character for it. We don’t pretend he isn’t a manipulative murderer. That’s (part of) why we like him. Of course that’s not to say there aren’t those who mischaracterise him too, but you responded to me so I can only speak for myself and what I see my mutuals posting about. I love Armand for what he is. All the good parts, all the bad parts, and that is literally all my Marius post was about. Holy shit. It was the singular point I was actually making. You were so close to getting it. I couldn’t give a fuck who your favourite character is, but quit pretending he’s not everything he is because you’re not a fan of him then. You’re a fan of a fanfic version of him.

I think I’ve probably posted at least a dozen times by now about Armand’s trauma shaping him into a monster, but you used DM so let’s go with that. You what’s particularly interesting about them? The many examples of Armand recreating behaviour Marius subjected him to with Daniel. The love bombing, lavishing him with gifts, being incredibly hot and cold with him emotionally, withholding vampirism from him and eventually turning him when he was dying. They’re a deliberate parallel!! Hello!? Terrible example to use!! It’s almost like traumatised people can in certain cases go on to recreate their trauma to try and make sense of it. You can also see this in Armand’s treatment of Claudia. They could’ve bonded over neglect by their makers and being turned young, but Armand decided to take out his trauma on her instead. I love how fucked up he is. Pretty much every Armand fan who gets him is the same. All DM’s existence proves is that Marius actually did deeply damage Armand’s ability to accept love and how he formed relationships, because he’s a fucking predator in multiple senses of the word. Whataboutism literally doesn’t change a thing. Armand could’ve gone after someone underage too and it still wouldn’t change anything about Marius. If anything, it would’ve reinforced it.

But notice how you were forced to acknowledge that Daniel was in fact a grown adult at the time? If he hadn’t been, the ship wouldn’t be nearly as popular.

Most. People. Don’t. Like. Pedophiles. You can’t be this much of a fan of one and be sensitive about it. I’m sorry to be harsh but it’s literally just the truth. Armand fans get enough shit from people who hate him, and it is only going to be worse if you like Marius. I’m not suggesting that’s okay or that I would dream of contributing to it, but it is going to happen more and more after s3 of the show airs. Prepare for that in whatever way is best for you.

You couldn’t even have your username attached to this. If you’re gonna go so hard to defend your favourite pedo, at least have some conviction about it. No one cares who your favourite character is. Well, I’m sure some people do but those people are weirdos and you should learn to ignore them. Love him as much as you want. I’m actually looking forward to seeing him in season 3, even if he is an utter bastard. Just either quit the mischaracterisation or suck it up and get on board with the fact that even in a fictional setting, and even in gothic horror, people do not vibe with pedophiles and they never will.

[kunfuseddd]

Can we get an obsessive and possessive Hendery x reader 😣

Yours, Always

A/n- Your request it's my demand i hope you enjoy it !!! Guys sorry for not posting but my mental health it's really been down i try posting more and again thank for so much support under my works i really appreciate it

DISCLAIMER - Im not romanizing toxic behavior in relationships it's just fiction and it's request I don't support toxic behavior but it's just a fiction nothing real

W.c - 3k

Paring - hendery x yn

Genre - Obsessive Love Best Friends to Lovers | Very Suggestive | Dark Romance with a Happy Ending

Warnings - mentions of sex nsfw content toxic behavior

I always thought I knew Hendery.

Loud. Laughing. Loyal.

The kind of best friend who showed up at your apartment at 3 a.m. with your favorite snacks when you cried over dumb exes. The kind of best friend who knew exactly when to make you laugh and when to just sit in silence. The kind of best friend you could swear would never cross a line.

Until he did.

Until I did.

Until everything between us started to taste like secrets.

It started with Ten.

He was charming, gorgeous, talented—of course I fell for him. Who wouldn’t? We met through Hendery, ironically enough. They were in the same group, always dancing, joking, and performing together. It felt easy to say yes when Ten asked me out.

Hendery smiled when I told him. Hugged me. Said he was happy for me.

But I saw the way his eyes didn’t match the curve of his lips. I saw the twitch in his jaw when I said Ten made me laugh so hard I cried.

I just didn’t understand it. Not then.

The changes were small at first. A text from Hendery at 1 a.m.

“Can I come over?”

He looked tired. Worn out. Said he couldn’t sleep. So we watched dumb horror movies and I let him rest his head on my lap like we used to before things felt different. His eyes kept drifting to my neck—where Ten had left a faint purple bruise. His fingers itched toward it, hovered, then retreated like they’d been burned.

“You really like him?” he asked softly.

“I think I do,” I whispered, not realizing that answer would be the fuse.

Ten started pulling away.

He missed a date. Then two. Canceled last-minute with flimsy excuses. His texts were shorter. Dryer. Something had changed. Something cold.

When I asked, he just shrugged. “I don’t know. It feels... off.”

I didn’t understand. We were perfect. Weren’t we?

Then someone sent him a screenshot.

A message. From my phone.

“Sometimes I think I should’ve picked you instead of Ten.” Sent to Hendery.

Except I never sent it.

Ten never believed me.

I cried to Hendery that night. Shaking, humiliated. My hands trembled as I showed him the messages, the screenshots, begging him to believe I didn’t say it. That something was wrong. That this didn’t make sense.

His arms were around me instantly. His voice low, calming.

“You deserve someone who sees you,” he murmured, fingers brushing my hair back. “Not someone who’s already looking somewhere else.”

I didn’t notice the way his fingers clenched my shirt. Or the way he held me a little too tightly when I broke down.

We started spending more time together after that.

It felt natural. He made me feel safe, seen, important. We fell back into our old rhythm, but this time... it was heavier. More loaded. I’d catch him staring too long. I’d feel his hand on my back linger longer than necessary. He started calling me “baby” in front of others, like it was a joke.

Except it didn’t feel like one.

And when I flirted back, even just lightly, his entire mood would shift into something almost… hungry.

I woke up one night to a message.

“You should be mine.”

Sent from Hendery. Three minutes later, deleted.

I stared at my screen for hours.

The next time he came over, it was storming. He was drenched, hair sticking to his skin, breathing heavy like he’d run the whole way.

“You didn’t answer,” he said, eyes wild.

“Hendery—”

“I’m not crazy,” he snapped, then instantly softened. “I just… I can’t do this anymore.”

I swallowed. “Do what?”

He stepped closer, slow, like a predator circling.

“Pretend I’m okay with someone else having you.”

My breath caught.

His hand came up to my jaw, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth. His gaze dropped to my lips, then back to my eyes—searching for something. Permission. Hesitation. Fear.

I didn’t give him any.

“You never said anything,” I whispered.

“I didn’t think I needed to,” he murmured, his voice rough. “You were mine before he touched you.”

We kissed.

It wasn’t gentle.

It was desperate, bruising, like years of restraint crumbling all at once. His hands roamed without hesitation, dragging me against him like he was starving and I was the only thing that could fix it. I gasped as his mouth moved to my neck, sucking hard where the old bruise had faded.

“I want you to forget every time he touched you,” Hendery growled against my skin. “I want you to remember it’s me now. Only me.”

He pushed me down onto the couch, body over mine, heavy and commanding. My heart was racing, not with fear, but something hotter. Darker.

“Hendery…” I whispered, breathless.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you’re mine.”

I stared up at him, pulse thundering, and said the one word I didn’t know I meant until it came out:

“Yes.”

He was insatiable after that.

We never made it to the bedroom that night. Or the next. He left marks—faint teeth prints on my shoulder, fingerprints on my thighs. He whispered filthy promises in my ear, things no best friend should ever say.

But I loved every second of it.

I loved the way he touched me like I belonged to him.

I loved the way he looked at me like I was his entire universe and nothing else mattered.

And God, the way he kissed me—like he’d waited his whole life and wasn’t going to waste a second more.

Later, tangled in my sheets, his voice was low and possessive in my ear.

“I wanted to ruin him,” he confessed, lips brushing my shoulder. “Every time he made you smile, I wanted to rip it away. I couldn’t stand it.”

“You did,” I said softly.

He chuckled darkly. “I know.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I’d do worse for you.”

I turned to face him, eyes searching his.

“Would you really?”

His expression softened just a little—but the hunger in his eyes didn’t fade.

“I already have.”

A few months passed.

No one questioned us. They’d always said we were too close. That it was bound to happen. They didn’t know the full story. Didn’t know what it cost.

Didn’t know how Ten started keeping his distance like I was dangerous.

Didn’t know how Hendery smiled a little too smugly every time someone else looked at me and I turned back to him.

He was sweet in public. Soft hands, inside jokes, laughter.

But in private, he was a storm.

“You’re mine, baby,” he’d whisper when he had me pinned beneath him, every thrust deeper than the last. “Say it again.”

“I’m yours,” I’d moan, fingers gripping the sheets, dizzy with how good he made me feel.

“Louder.”

“I’m yours, Hendery—only yours.”

And every time, he’d finish with a groan like it broke him to hear it.

It was obsessive. Twisted. Intense.

But I’d never been happier.

Maybe I should’ve felt guilty. Maybe I should’ve hated him for manipulating everything.

But when his arms wrapped around me and he buried his face in my neck like I was the only thing keeping him sane, I knew the truth:

I loved him, too.

In every dark, messy, possessive way he loved me—I loved him back.

THE END

[rivendellwatch]

🌿 Fluff Week is Coming Soon! 🌿

Hey, everyone! We’re thrilled to announce that Fluff Week is officially happening! This event will be a celebration of softness, warmth, and all the gentle, heart-melting moments that make us fall in love with our favorite characters and dynamics. Whether it’s quiet comfort, playful teasing, found family tenderness, or romance that feels like a warm embrace—this is a space for joy, kindness, and love in fandom.

When?

We’ll be finalizing the dates soon, so stay tuned! Once we establish the timeline, we’ll share the event details.

What to Expect?

A week dedicated to fluff in all its forms—fanfiction, art, playlists, moodboards, and more! The goal is to create a space that feels safe, inclusive, and free of toxicity, where we can all celebrate the characters and relationships that bring us comfort.

Shipping Guidelines & Event Rules:

We know that some ships in the fandom have been at the center of heated discourse, and we want to address that upfront. This event is not about reigniting ship wars or giving space to toxicity—it’s about celebrating characters and relationships with love and respect. That means we’re setting clear guidelines to ensure that the event remains positive and enjoyable for everyone.

💛 No Ship-Bashing or Fandom Drama – This event is about fluff, not discourse. Everyone is here to celebrate what they love, not tear down what they don’t.

💛 No Canon-Toxic Interpretations – Ships must be portrayed in a way that aligns with the spirit of fluff. That means no glorification of toxic, manipulative, abusive, or non-consensual dynamics.

💛 Respectful Haladriel Participation – We recognize that not all Haladriel (Galadriel/Halbrand or Galadriel/Annatar) shippers are part of the toxicity that has hurt many in this fandom. Because of this, we are allowing Haladriel works, but they must follow the event’s fluff guidelines.

No toxic interpretations (manipulation, dark!Annatar, etc.).

The focus should be on fluff. This is "Fluff Week", not "Angst Week".

All works must be properly tagged so participants can curate their experience.

💛 No Real-Person Harassment – This event is about fictional stories, not the actors, showrunners, or other fans. Let’s keep it that way.

💛 Proper Tagging & Content Warnings – Please tag your works appropriately, especially for ships that may be sensitive topics. This helps everyone enjoy the event in a way that feels comfortable for them.

💛 Fluff Comes First! – While emotional depth is welcome, the core of every piece should be soft, warm, and heartening. Angst-heavy works or dark hurt/comfort that don’t fit the event’s theme won’t be included.

💛 Community Standards Matter – If any participant is reported for toxic behavior, harassment, or passive-aggressive comments, they will not be associated with the event. This space is for kindness, not fandom hostility, we already experienced too much of that.

A Step Forward:

I want to be upfront about something—I, like so many others, have experienced firsthand the absolute wrath of the toxic and very vocal Haladriel side of the fandom. The harassment, the aggression, the way it burned through spaces that were meant to be for joy and creativity—it left real scars. And I know I’m not alone in that.

That being said, I also know that not all Haladriel shippers are like this. There are those who simply love their ship and engage with it in a way that’s respectful and kind. That’s why this event is a step from us, as Elrondriels and others, to build back that bridge that has been broken and burnt.

This is not about forgetting what happened or dismissing the pain so many of us went through, absolutely not. It’s about choosing to move forward—on our terms, with clear boundaries, with a commitment to making fandom better.

We want this to be a space where people feel safe to celebrate what they love without fear.

So if you’ve been hurt, if you’ve been driven away from fandom spaces, if you’ve been made to feel like your love for a ship is somehow lesser—you belong here. You are wanted here! And I promise, your comfort and safety matter most!!💛

If you choose not to include or interact with certain ships, please don’t worry about backlash—you are 100% supported in your choice. No one should feel pressured to engage with anything that makes them uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, this event is about celebrating love, care, and the beautiful connections between characters. Let’s build something warm, inclusive, and full of light together!🌿✨

Stay tuned for more updates, and feel free to drop your thoughts, questions, or suggestions in the replies!💛

_ Bucky

[olderthannetfic]

What happened for people to decide that your fictional interests are representative of your morals? most fandoms, fan fiction etc were built off of 'immoral' content. They were made to be communities, for people to share their love for media, and if you didn't like those posts... you ignored them. when the rise of the terms proship and antiship started I considered myself an anti, because I was told that proshippers were evil- they supported abuse, grooming, pedophilia, anything you could think of. The thing is, when you're antiship, you don't realize your own arguments apply to yourself too. Toxic yuri/yaoi or whatever is literally proship. It's a toxic relationship usually fueled by abuse. Yet you don't find hate for these ships, why? Because nobody shipping them supports it in real life. If you enjoy horror movies, violent video games, do you support murder? If you enjoy writings about abuse, are you an abuser? If you enjoy historical media, do you support racism? If not, then you are acknowledging the fact you can enjoy 'problematic’ media without it changing your morals.

And the thing is, l'm not here to spread hate. In fact, I get it. I understand why there are so many antishippers, because I was one. The terms proship and antiship have been thrown around without consideration of their actual meaning. Proshippers have never stood for immoral deeds in real life, it just means to ship and let ship- Anti harassment, anti censorship. Most proshippers will tell you themselves they are completely against pedophiles or the like. In all honesty, what has the antiship movement actually done for victims, or for children? They harass people online because they enjoy fiction. Proshippers make their own spaces, and yet they invade them. They focus on the safety of FICTIONAL children and victims instead of the real ones, the ones actually asking for help.

An individuals morality should not and almost always does not depend on fiction.

--

[sammoose22]

I'm hating what's happening to this fandom right now. I love that 911 is getting more recognition but god damn, no one wants this.

I'm gonna rant while trying to keep it neutral from ships (but keep in mind I am ONLY a Buddie fan). (Spoiler alert: I did end up being biased, but I'm still logical and polite)

Regardless of who you ship, remember it is all FICTION. These aren't real people meaning if fans think Eddie is gay or demi and want to include him in a post this month, THEY ARE ALLOWED TOO. You can't judge them for it, and even so, can we all keep in mind why everyone speculated BiBuck. It sure as hell wasn't for how he acted with Chimney or Bobby, and not that one scene with TK.

Furthermore (that made me feel like I was writing an essay), why are people being so nasty? This is a show, meaning entertainment, meaning we should all just be able to enjoy our show regardless of who we ship. I'll be the first to say there rude Buddie and BT shippers and there's peaceful Buddie and BT shippers.

We're supposed to ship who we ship, and be allowed to rant as much as we want, as long as we're nice about it. There's no reason to call fans of either ship delusional or insult them.

So while admitting there's rude fans of both ships, lets me be real here. It's mostly BT fans. Cause come on, some of them want Eddie de*d and Chris to go to BT and some think that they're relationship is so sweet and vulnerable when we've had less that 10 mins. Fine think what you want, but if you're speculating, why can't buddie fans (most of who are respectful and tag their posts/fics correctly) do the same? Why are you feeling so threatened? Them talking about Buddie doesn't mean Tim Minear is gonna choose to do Buddie, and you being so rude and toxic isn't gonna convince him to keep Tommy.

To conclude, I love this show too much to stop watching it, and I love ranting on tumblr too much to stop posting, but damn this hiatus is ugly.

[miyuskye]

VADD NOVEL SPOILER ALERT ❗❗❗

After reading those chapters (158-159), seeing this cover hurts like hell. Eckles was (mind the past tense) my favourite male to ship with Penelope. (My overall fave has always been Callisto but he's like PERFECT so) I knew Eckles was twisted, when he threw those tantrums because Penelope wasn't spending time with him in s3, I thought 'it's fine, he's like this'. I always liked the yandere character type, after all. But the way that scene it's written in the novel, the way he victim-blames Penelope for his crimes is... too much.

"I don't care if I have to become a traitor who sells out his kingdom and his people..." (...)

"I want you, Penelope Eckhart." (...) "That's what you've done to me. You made me this way, and every time you pretend not to notice what you're doing to me, wearing that innocent look on your face... It makes me lose my mind, but what else can I do? You're still so lovely..."

Those words are terrifying. He says he loves her, he says she's lovely but in the same sentence he says that he hates her. The description of the favorability bar being a combination of love and hate (emphasis on hate), and how Eckles goes from praising her to blaming her for things she has no fault of... (she used him, but she never told him to kill Ivonne or betray his people!) it's so well written. I like to draw the line between fiction and reality, and I always like, in fiction, some toxic dynamics I would never condone in real life, but... The way it's written in this novel is too realistic to enjoy in a "romantic" way.

I feel like sometimes yandere characters are written through lenses that make them enjoyable despite their wrongdoings. Allendis from TAE is first rejected from the FL and then he goes crazy. This doesn't justify him of course, but it makes you feel sympathy, in a way. Jumin from MysMes never actually blames MC in his bad ending.

I love the narrative in VADD because there's just no way to feel sympathy for Eckles. As much as I liked him, as much as I wanted him to be ~the one~ for Penelope, it just crashed down the moment he revealed his true self. It made an impact to me because I felt as she felt. I knew some spoilers about him, I knew he was the yandere, but I didn't know it was this intense. That's probably what Penny felt too. She knew he was sick in the head and she wanted to just use him to escape. He fooled us with his fake submissive demeanor and destroyed us in the end. Penny, because she couldn't escape through him, me because I actually thought his love for her would eventually turn out to be good-natured. But those words he said to her cannot be excused, not even in fiction.

They are still an interesting toxic relationship to explore! And I LOVE the parallels between this relationship and the one she has with the man the myth the legend Callisto. The author did such a good job with the romance description in this series, I feel that, probably due to the whacky translation, the brutality of some scenes mellowed out. But I can't wait to see this in the webtoon

[ultimateloserboy]

// TW R-pe and p-do references cuz theres insane shit going on rn??? just a vent or rant or whatever im sorry

i genuinely want to vomit right now i cant believe you people are trying to claim bill fucking cipher is a R//PIST i want to throw the fuck up. i fully respect you and understand if bill and fords situation in the book triggers you but to claim he ever SAd him is a flat out lie and fucking disgusting.

you people dont give a fuck about actual victims you just want to have the moral high ground and its going TOO fucking far now!! telling people theyre as bad as r//pists and p//dophiles because they read the OBVIOUS subtext in a DISNEY OWNED fucking book is insane. genuinely fuck you.

again, if their relationship triggers you i have no ill will towards you and i respect you fully, but to claim its SA or telling other people theyre real life CRIMINALS over gravity fucking falls is batshit crazy dude.

as a victim of multiple types of abuse, yall arent fucking helping anyone, actually!!! yall have triggered me more and made me more sick then the book did!!! because you’re actively claiming that ME as an individual or others like me enjoying or exploring a concept are just as bad as OUR real life fucking abusers!!!!

im on the verge of throwing the fuck up and crying right now. every time i open the fucking gravity falls tab i see silly posts of bill and his little stupid exes and its funny and here comes some asshole telling me im just as bad as the man who abused and assaulted me!

“this is so bad think about real victims!” i AM a real victim and ten minutes ago i was laughing or admiring silly memes or beautiful art exploring a fictional, IMPOSSIBLE relationship. but now i can feel my abusers hands on my skin!! Thanks a fucking lot, jackass!!!!!

bill cipher was a huge comfort when i was like ten or however old i was. gravity falls was an escape from my abuse. and now im being called just as bad as my abuser for enjoying and exploring the actions of the character i loved in my childhood. victims can never have anything because you people constantly want to remind us of our trauma or guilt us when we’re not your perfect little uwu ass victims!!!

and no!! two consenting grown ass men isnt pr//ship just because its toxic!!! this isnt p//do or inc//est and yall need to stop pretending it is!!! this is genuinely a harmful way to look at things for media as a whole!!!! fucking stop!!! please!!!!! stop comparing anything morally debatable to that shit!!!!!!!!

[mothhball]

I don’t really feel safe posting this infront of people, so I’m gonna keep it anon, if you don’t mind. If you do mind, I totally get it and you don’t have to interact w this.

On your point about age gaps, it really resonated w me. The idea behind it is obvious, somebody who has experience (older hot man) takes a woman who knows nothing about the world or def hasn’t has as much experience. I’m from a country where it is VERY conservative, father-daughter relations are practically non-existant (bc man+girl= sexual even tho they’re father and daughter, so fathers tend to stay away from their daughters. No talking. Just providing financially).And I’ve found that this trope is most present in these kinds of communities. Because of this toxic father daughter relationship, girls love consuming media where older men are the love interest. However, just as you said, they are very predatory irl and unfortunately very normalised. Girls end up marrying older men who treat them like children. My own mother started dating my father when she was 19 and he was 36. Believe me. It doesn’t even end when she’s older, that pretty gross dynamic where it’s “husband/ strict father” and “wife/ neglected daughter”. Rinse and repeat. The cycle continues when they eventually have children. that is a very true point you made about irl age gaps. I really appreciate it.

anyway, take care of yourslef

i enjoy ur writing btw it’s pretty good

Don't worry about it, nonnie and thank you for sharing your perspective on the topic!! I'll put this under a read more because this might get a little longer and personal 🙏

btw, for everyone else, this is the post mentioned

So far, I've only seen one hetero relationship with a big age gap work out in a healthy way irl, but both parties only met when the woman was in her late 30s, and had objectively more life experience and a well-paying job herself, so there was no financial control happening.

I've heard plenty of stories about the toxicity of such a big age gap, though 😬 In the end, everyone is free to make these choices for themselves, but I always side-eye these grown-ass men who go for """"""legal"""""" teens. I know firsthand that there's no way a 17-year old girl is in her right mind as soon as midnight hits and it's her 18th birthday. (I hope I don't sound like I'm infantilizing them or denying them agency, I just know what I was like back then lol)

I'm gonna get a little personal, but I very much understand the appeal. My dad did his best when I was a child, but he was and is still emotionally uninvolved a lot of the time due to his own family history. Added to that is the fact that I was very tall as a kid already, and my parents confessed to me that they often saw me as older/more mature than I really was. I didn't get a lot of emotional support and safety back then, and this resulted in me being too independent at this point.

So, I think I like age gaps in fiction because I can fantasize about being vulnerable for once and having someone who actually looks out for me and fawns over me. It's the safety and affection I primarily adore in those stories. (sugar daddy plots are also nice because I'm BROKE and would very much like someone to fund my rent, groceries and makeup addiction 😔)

The corruption aspect can also be fun, and this circles back to the points of the original post where the reader just gets "forced" to live out her sexuality with someone more experienced after getting that first taste of the forbidden pleasures or something.

But yes, the pros of it being fiction is that it's a safe environment that stops as soon as you finish a film/close a book/pause a video game, and it doesn't progress any further than you want it to.

AT THE SAME TIME, there are very real relationships with a DDLG dynamic that's actually healthy. But all involved parties are in on it, can stop any time they want, and there's (hopefully) no real fundamental misogyny involved. As always, critical thinking is required, and these things should be talked about in a calm moment when everyone is using the heads on their shoulders.

God, this got longer than I intended, but all this to say:

Being an adult with a sane, safe and consensual approach to a kink or dynamic is (in my opinion) fine, as long as all parties are aware of any existing power imbalances.

Being an adult who purposefully preys on someone way younger and inexperienced, to manipulate/use/abuse them in any way, isn't.

[bacchanal-if]

Hi, same person who asked "quite a few" questions here (thank you for answering!!)! I made a few more since then. I didn't want to overwhelm you by sending them in concurrently, but I love love reading what you have to say about these guys on both blogs. Needless to say I Think About Them Often and patiently look forward to whatever you have to say whenever you do!

Do they feel more compelled to someone who shares more in common with them or someone who's more different?

If the ROs were a separate person, would they be friends with their original self?

What would they most look forward to teaching their child?

What's a hill they would die on? (can be serious and/or trivial!)

Lastly, to the red flag ROs: What are some red flags in others? Do they recognize it's a red flag immediately when they meet the person or could it creep up on them too? Would they ignore it or want to see how it plays out?

Also not really sure why Butterfly is considered a red flag? I group them in with the other masked ROs, though sometimes they remind me of E on their level of intensity or interpretation, and while some of their mentality might be a bit toxic they seem mostly normal besides that. Maybe I'm blind!

I hope you're offered some relief within your current events <3 Please stay kind to yourself for the things outside of your control.

Also, really didn't expect so many answers tbh, and for the only questions you'd skip to be both marriage ones! Interesting, interesting. My eyebrows are up in my hairline! What do these mean !!

I will never stop blushing at this, so thank you for reading and enjoying my work! The fact that anyone cares about these characters amazes me. I appreciate all the questions; they are so interesting and delve into interesting parts of them.

Do they feel more compelled to someone who shares more in common with them or someone who's more different?

Fox: No preference

Rabbit: No preference

Butterfly: Different

The Uninvited Guest: No preference

Edith/Edward: Different

Tamsin/Thomas: No preference

If the ROs were a separate person, would they be friends with their original self?

Fox: No

Rabbit: Yes

Butterfly: Eh?

The Uninvited Guest: Yes and No

Edith/Edward: NO.

Tamsin/Thomas: Yes

What would they most look forward to teaching their child?

Fox: Morals

Rabbit: Self-appreciation

Butterfly: Independence

The Uninvited Guest: n/a

Edith/Edward: Self-sufficiency

Tamsin/Thomas: Unconditional love

What's a hill they would die on? (can be serious and/or trivial!)

Fox: People should say what they mean and do as they say

Rabbit: Do no harm, but take no bull

Butterfly: They are to be admired 😂

The Uninvited Guest: They don't think about these kinds of things!

Edith/Edward: One must fend for oneself

Tamsin/Thomas: To love is to live

Lastly, to the red flag ROs: What are some red flags in others? Do they recognize it's a red flag immediately when they meet the person or could it creep up on them too? Would they ignore it or want to see how it plays out?

They all clock it pretty fast.

Butterfly: They are actually more discerning than you may think! Their main red flag is when someone else is too pompous and overconfident, because there is only room for one peacock in the room and it's them. They expect humility, and any disrespect is a turn off. But keep in mind they are only Butterfly after dark, so this only applies then 😉

The Uninvited Guest: Oh? 👀 yes please, every flavor.

Edith/Edward: They have low standards for what they consider to be a red flag, so it doesn't take much to tip them off. It's best to understand one's opponents, so they see how it plays out.

Also not really sure why Butterfly is considered a red flag?

Butterfly is an oft contested red flag, so I understand where you're coming from! My definition is thus, taken from my Romance FAQ: In short, I wouldn’t consider the relationships you can have with them to be healthy in the real world, but fine to explore in fiction. To be more specific, these routes are more akin to obsessions than equal partnerships.

I will be honest; I do not know how much it will come up in the story, if at all, but Butterfly can be quite spiteful when hurt. This and the fact that they are quite manipulative are not healthy traits!

[timetopanic34]

My relationship with fan fiction is complicated. I'm relatively old (compared to most of you!) and so for the first half of my life fan fiction only existed in written form passed among those in the know. I was definitely not in the know!

Once it hit the internet I discovered it and slowly started devouring it. But I felt it was a dirty little secret. I mean what would people think if they knew I read fan fiction? Some of which is basically just porn?

But slowly I've learned - plenty of people would just be meh if they new and if not - then that's their problem. Nothing wrong with me enjoying what I enjoy and what many others enjoy too.

Even so I remained hesitant to interact and truly involved beyond just reading. I stayed an anon on AO3 for a long time and never commented, even when I loved a fic.

There were copious reasons mostly mixed up in my anxieties and fears. What if it's taken the wrong way? What if I'm having a bad day and many people disagree and pile on? Why would anyone even remotely care about what I think of their work?

A few years ago I commented a couple of times and nothing bad happened.

I got a bit braver and at some point I made an AO3 account and then made a new Tumblr with the same handle.

I struggled posting to Tumblr as well since I couldn't quite free myself from the hold my anxiety had on me.

But at some point I started leaving kudos and giving the odd comment. I also started reblogging things on here.

Then I boldly started adding to my reblog. A couple of times I very boldly state things I feel that I know are controversial ideas to some. I can’t tell you how hard that was.

Instead of some sort of mental health decline I’m finding that being more involved in fandom has been incredibly positive.

So many cool things have happened. I've had discussions about fics and characters. I have had beautiful replies from writers.

But most importantly I feel I am becoming a part of a community and finding my people. Nobody in my real life reads fan fics or have favourite ships so feeling at home here and on AO3 is such a beautiful feeling.

Now I know there is some real toxic corners of fandom out there. There are people who leave terrible comments and feel somehow entitled to do this (if I don't like a fic I will never leave a comment. Ever. I will stop reading and click away - it's that simple!) and there are people who will attack others for having a different opinion.

I am lucky in that so far all my interactions have been positive. I daresay that if I had experienced something negative as I was slowly moving my way forward into participation it may have halted my progress.

But now I think I know enough to be able to deal if it ever happens to me.

So I'm posting more here. I've also set myself a goal to comment at least once (no matter how small - though lets face it - brevity is not my strong suit!) on fics I enjoy.

I also have a goal to write a fic and post it before the end of the year. That's gonna take a lot of work convincing myself that yes some people might like to read it and if not then I can write it for the one person who wants it - me!

Huge shout out to @hesitantsorrows who actually wrote a fic based on an idea I had for a Stucky fic. In my wildest dreams I never expected someone to do something like that. It still makes me smile every time I think about it. It’s a fab fic too!

[assignedpeanutallergyatbirth]

Spoiler Warning: Heartstopper Webcomic

I was on TikTok today, and I came across a video where a creator was discussing Heartstopper that really rubbed me the wrong way.

Now, in fairness to this creator, they did not specify how or to what extent they have engaged with the Heartstopper media. They did acknowledge, in this video, the importance of Heartstopper for queer youths. And I understand matters of taste. This person may simply not like this style of media. They are an adult, and they mentioned no longer enjoying YA. So I am not mad that someone doesn’t like something that I do.

There were two things said in this video, however, that really bothered me. The first is that this creator expressed that they felt that real teenagers were messy — that they were having a bad time in high school — and that Heartstopper is too wholesome and saccharine to be relatable. This just really bugs me. Yes, the overall message and tone of Heartstopper is positive and one of hope, but these comics cover some really heavy topics. Charlie has an on-page eating disorder, which gets so bad that he faints while on a school trip. He spends time at an in-patient psychiatric hospital. It is explicitly stated that he self-harms, and has had to be rushed to the emergency room as a result. There is violent homophobia on-page. The whole relationship between Ben Hope and Charlie is a toxic and abusive shit fest. And if this isn’t “messy” enough, then there is also just petty teenage drama, like the fight between Tao and Charlie over finding out about Nick, or the current storylines of Nick’s university decision and first times. It was just so clear to me that this creator didn’t know what they were talking about. These comics are real and relatable and messy. They just are also hopeful and full of love instead of being miserable.

The second thing that bothered me is that the video opened with this creator describing Heartstopper as something designed to be inoffensive to Tumblr. And there are valid critiques to be made about social media and the sanitization of media. But to look at something as heavily critiqued and contentious as Heartstopper, something that is being banned and boycotted, and label it inoffensive really didn’t sit right with me. Just because this series is hopeful and positive and wholesome doesn’t mean that it is inoffensive. Nor does it mean that Alice Oseman created something silly or unimportant to appease Tumblr. Just because this series doesn’t seem as important as the “dark and gritty” fiction that some people prefer, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t carry the same themes or importance.

[lesbianp1lled]

as a fellow gold star who's never been lucky enough to experience reciprocated love and has been led on by many bi women, I probably do read more male gay fiction than lesbian fiction tbh. because I obviously don't get anything out of straight romance, osa makes me nauseous or feel nothing at best, however every time I even watch a video of a lesbian couple or read lesbian fiction I get so deeply envious and sad, not in a toxic hateful way ofc, just flat out crying out of loneliness like an idiot.. so m/m fiction is the only emotional relief for me to relate to homosexual love while also being completely detached from any personal feelings since I'm not male nor into males.

I have no trauma with men, have thankfully never even had to pretend to have any romantic feelings towards any in my 25+ years and have never had any self-insert thoughts about any of the gay fiction I've read other than the occasional 'I wish I had a lesbian version of that relationship'.

I want to make it clear that it's not about internalized misogyny, just plain lesbian solitude and the feeling that no woman is really attracted to women (I know it's ridiculous but that's my trauma) and specifically to me. which is all the more upsetting since as I guess a conventionally attractive feminine woman I have to beat straight men off with a stick.

although I do realize now that this sort of escapism and detaching yourself from your own sexuality to get secondary emotional fulfillment from fictional relationships completely unrelated to you isn't healthy in the long run. it's just very hard to find a gf in my homophobic country so I've used fiction as a crutch to not deal with my own personal life.

I do think most so-called 'fujos' who actually fetishize gay men are bihets though who think thirsting after fem gay men makes them qweer, when that's literally ultimate het behaviour. just saw one call herself a lesbian while openly lusting after a gay man, saying she wishes she wasn't a lesbian and that he wasn't a 'man kisser' so they could be together because 'she needs him bad'. girl, you never were a lesbian, probably not even bi, also actually consider ki!!ing yourself, these homophobic fakebians have 0 shame nor logic denying the existence of homosexuals of either sex.

no lesbian would ever conjure up such a homophobic double 'conversion' fantasy, I'm enraged to the point of wanting to hurl. the gen z larpers are so unhinged now that they genuinely don't even respect homosexuality existing, all they do is fetishize opposite-sex homosexuality while spouting actual 'corrective' r*pe level hetero fantasies which I've noticed a lot of bihets from either sex have. a lot of this obsessing over 'p3gging' and feminizing men is born out of their fetishization of gay men, doubt any of them would even enjoy any of that, they just want to 'queerify' their zesty straight sexuality to look subversive, they even pretend it's 'feminist' somehow.

and ofc they either support the homophobic tiffies who larp as gay men of eventually become them, straight up admitting to wanting to r*pe gay men under the pretense of totes being men as well while wanting to have het aka piv sex with males.. it's sinister how every gay fandom is overrun with transhets or normie hets, don't even get me started on the yuri hentai fetishizing het male 'transbians' invading 'lesbian spaces' made up mostly of bi women anyway.. it's just way too personally offensive and painful to even witness.

what should be the only safe haven and a joyous source of entertainment makes me spiral with rage against the hetero machine instead. so often I see sb seemingly decent, exclusively posting about gay topics only to eventually reveal they are a bihet thirsting after opposite-sex homosexuals and my heart drops again. where are the real lesbians?

so while I know from personal experience that people can enjoy fiction that doesn't relate to their sexuality, it is rare and usually related to some sort of trauma. I know het women who never consume het romance because it's so unrealistic/ insulting to their experiences and only read f/f fiction. whereas for me I do now admit it stems from loneliness and trust issues with women, fearing all women will turn out to be hetero and leave me to the dust again. my ex told me I was the perfect woman for her and that she'd never date a male again only to ghost me randomly and get married to a male who looks like he could be her uncle within a year or two lol.

I was just happy to see a lovely post from a woman about her wife only for her entire feed to be about obsessively thirsting after a ton of famous men. imagine just getting married to a woman as a same-sex attracted woman only to write insane s3xually harassing comments like a het coomer towards a grown strange man (who at least presents stereotypically gay btw, common denominator), saying bs like he's 'her pwecious pwetty boy' whose abs give her an aneurysm.. and it's just some skinny twink, no offense. I've never even met het women this male-crazed. bet her wife's the same if she tolerates that. they genuinely think calling a vaguely 'pretty' man their 'girlfriend' justifies their hetero attraction towards males as a supposed 'lesbian'. they truly are our worst most insidiously evil enemy, they're the ones who embolden trans-identified het males to believe they can be included in lesbianism. I'd rather stay single and loveless forever than humiliate myself by dating a bihet like that..

I would never trust sb is actually a lesbian if they have a dedicated account for posting about men, fictional or not, obsessing over a particular man/ men. nah, I'm a fan of some male singers etc but having an account for posting about everything they do is simply not lesbian behaviour even if they pretend it's platonic admiration. no lesbian is that obsessed with a man/ men.

that’s the main sign to look out for, it's one thing to root for a gay couple and completely different to have any ideation about inserting yourself into that relationship or fantacize about the men in question. which is so disgustingly homophobic as well, idk even if the characters are bi, having het thoughts about people in a same-sex relationship is gross peak bihet behaviour. I'm also generally heterophobic to be fair, spare me of any mention of osa.

so it does bother me that anyone female who consumes any male gay fiction/ media is automatically associated with these homophobic osa lunatics, however as mentioned, it is unfortunately often justified. there is ofc gay fan fiction in particular written by hetero-attracted women which fetishizes gay men but a lot of it is just general escapist romance from a female perspective, reading more like a lesbian relationship which is why it's relatable to lesbians as well while retaining that sense of detachment. I truly just need one good woman to fix me lol and bring me out of this self-destructive denial of myself as a romantic/ sexual person who deserves love.

I have hope for you anon that you will find the woman of your dreams one day, even in a homophobic country it’s still possible 🙏

I get why you read m/m fiction. It’s just when these women are SO OBSESSED with m/m fiction and nothing but m/m fiction that I side eye them. Like I said before, I have read books with m/m characters in them, even though it’s not my first choice, i’d go for a sapphic book first, but I think there are good m/m stories too! I read Maurice which is one of the first classic gay books by e.m foster a few years ago and it’s really good even though mid-way through to the ending it’s quite sad.

[rigginsstreet]

I just honestly don't get why nearly everyone here stans dair? Like they were together for just four or five episodes, Blair couldn't even say she loved Dan back since she VERY clearly didn't, Blair kept trying to talk herself into the relationship, she could only enjoy sex with him when she was really drunk, they genuinely clash and annoy each other like 98% of the time (dair stans say it's playful bickering, but it's clear they very legitimately annoy the hell out of each other lol and don't connect/understand each other unless they're talking about art), they're extremely incompatible and would want very different lives long term, and their connection seems based on purely intellectual pretension rather than emotional depth or romantic passion. Meanwhile, Chuck is the love of Blair's life throughout almost the entire series, she can and DOES say she loves him several times, and we're told and shown over and over that they connect on every single level and understand each other like no one else ever could. And yes, Chuck is a terrible person much of the time (Gossip Girl is supposed to be part soap and satire, so the awfulness of these ruthless rich people is exaggerated!) but, guess what, Blair is terrible too! Blair isn't some sweet, innocent girl being corrupted by mean and scheming Chuck---the show clearly makes the point that they're perfect for each other because they're BOTH manipulative, ruthless, elitist, frequently mean people who only truly and fully connect with each other. In real life, most of us would despise both Chuck and Blair individually and consider their relationship toxic, but it ISN'T real life---it's a fictional show, and a deliberately exaggerated, soapy one at that! Sorry to rant, just had to vent to one of the few people here who's pro-chair and anti-dair :)

people on this website will be like "we need more evil female characters" and then woobify blair waldorf. like the reason theres so many dair shippers is because people CANNOT swallow the fact that blair is also not a good person. blair and chuck are a match made in hell (affectionate) and their dynamic is so delicious. meanwhile yall want the ship where THEY HAD TO BE DRUNK TO EVEN BE REMOTELY PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER. because THATS normal and healthy.

everyone on this website is so ass backwards, most unserious group of people ive ever encountered in my life

[littleapocalypsekitten]

I just want to say how much I am ENJOYING my new / revived old fandom! I mostly keep my fandoms to sideblogs now to keep them from being muddled up in too much randomness (or stray American Politics fandom-wranklings. The American Politics fandom has been WILD lately)! Anyway, I made a secondary sideblog for one of my fandoms, a very silly Askblog in the tradition of those animal-welfare blogs where people can ask species-experts if "cute animal videos" and pictures / interactions they spot are wholesome or cruel / sketchy . I made one for a fictional species where we have some worldbuilding, but it's all very loose in the various canons and I can largely make stuff up, fanfiction-style. It's been up for 3 days and I've already got over 100 likes/reblogs/various asks! The fandom is ENGAGED! (And it's been like a year since new material has been put out! - Actually, most of the material / base material is OLD - as in - made in the late '90s up through the '10s). For those who shared She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fandom with me, it's kind of like the clones, except I'd say that Trigun's Plants have a wee bit more worldbuilding around them. What I am really enjoying about this particular endeavor is that people in this fandom are very... chill? About each other's headcanons? There's no big collective consensus "how to detail out this species," nor is there stepping on each other's toes and accusations of stealing headcanons when people thought there was mutual sharing involved. I just answered an ask regarding a fandom somewhat-famous someone's OC Plant - just a character that does a cute thing related to one of the main character's favorite foods that is featured in some fanfictions. I just made up some programming-protocol junk off the top of my head and there's a lovely thread now. By the way, my Askblog features me pretending to be a woman in STEM canonical character that I enjoy writing fanfiction about to begin with. I also think that I am getting along well in this fandom because I'm less... personal? With most people in it. There's only one person in the fandom that I chat with / bounce fanfiction ideas back and forth with regularly. I'm not on any Discords (I erased my Discord account long ago. I hung out in a nice Spop com for a while, but the one Trigun place I was in got erased due to manager-being-busy-with-life and I just wasn't using it). The Trigun fandom is also large enough that while there are pockets of people who know each other, it's not one of those "everyone knows each other" fandoms. There are prevailing headcanons that I do not share / have unpopular opinions on, but there just isn't a lot of fighting. I also (because I have learned) am slow to "make friends" in fandom and all of my mutals are great people, but all a little at arm's-length. We aren't dumping our traumas and personal lore on each other. I think it also helps that it's a more mature fandom (in tone, the first anime is teen-stuff while the manga / second anime is VERY bloody and has complex themes) - and we all accept that if we like the villains in it - that we openly like serial killers and all-human-life-genociders AS CHARACTERS and that, no, we don't support that stuff in real life. No whining that "this teaches toxic relationships!!! OMG!" We all know that Knives is an utter toxic waste dump of a brother to Vash, haha.