#i love this place i forget about it and then i am always pleasantly surprised by it bc prettyr

[holmgangs]

ɪ ꜱɪᴛ ᴏᴜᴛꜱɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴡ ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Precious Truths: Part 13

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: After your father finds out you’ve been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month’s time.

A/N: hello! yes, finally, an update! thank you to all of you who were patiently waiting for this. tbh the Benophie announcement gave me a bit of a spark of motivation to finish this chapter! enjoy!

Series Masterlist

My dearest Y/N,

I am not sure what else to say other than I am sorry. I am sorry for making you feel as though you meant nothing to me. I must admit, due to my own self-induced heartbreak, I refused to read your letters previously. However, you will not find me doing that again. I have missed your friendship dearly. It is my own fault for doing this to us. I will never do that to you again, I promise.

Always feel free to write to me. You will receive a response from me, now and always.

Yours,

Benedict

You read the short letter over and over again. You're in a bit of disbelief, yet you're overjoyed. You kept your expectations low after sending that letter to Benedict. However, you're pleasantly surprised that not only has he written back, but he desires to renew your friendship once more.

You immediately go to your writing desk and begin to write a reply.

You spend some time writing everything down, how grateful you are for Ben, how you've been spending your days, as well as your moments of grief.

James' parents have provided good company to you. Ever since meeting you, that have been so kind and loving. They remind you of how your parents used to be prior to your mother's passing.

In your letter, your relay to Benedict how you've been trying to write poetry to help you process and cope James' passing, but nothing has come from these attempts.

Admittedly, Benedict was your muse for so long. After he left, James became your muse. Now he's gone. You don't want to think about Benedict potentially taking up the place as your muse again. A part of you feels as though that would be a betrayal to James, however, your muse was originally Benedict...

It's fine. You won't worry about it too much right now. You'll just take things day by day.

After you finish your letter, you fold and seal it. Calling upon a footman, you ask him to send it to Benedict and the young man leaves promptly.

__________________________

Dear Benedict,

I may be going stir-crazy here. Mama and papa have been very loving and supportive, however, I feel that, even in this large estate, I cannot get away.

I've been riding a lot more than usual now just to get out. I know, it is shocking to me as well since I was never fond of it. However, now I find myself wanting to ride every single day just to be out and about.

Maybe I should discuss with mama and papa if I can start accepting guests again. For I am not sure how much longer I can take this.

Anyway, I hope you are well. It has been some time since we last exchanged letters. I am sure you have been busy with the new exhibit coming up. I hope it is successful. Everyone will be able to see just how talented you are.

I am so proud of you and what you have achieved, Ben. Never forget that.

Yours,

Y/N

Benedict sighs, reading over your letter. He is visiting his family, taking break from working on his last painting for the exhibition.

"What ails you, brother?" Eloise asks as she sits beside him.

"Would it be improper if I were to visit Y/N soon?" he asks her with confliction written on his face.

"Why would it be improper? You two are friends again, yes?" Eloise asks confused.

He lets out a deep breath before explaining, "After the death of a spouse, it's customary to mourn them for a year before accepting guests and taking part is society again. It's only been sixth months."

Eloise scoffs, "Benedict, you know that I am the last person to tell you of what you should or should not do in terms of societal rules."

"Of course," he says with a roll of his eyes.

"What is it that you really want to ask me?"

Benedict remains silent, contemplating on how he should ask his sister.

The truth is, Benedict has felt whole again. Having you back in his life has brought so much happiness, familiarity, and comfort that he's been seeking for the past few years.

It's clear to him that his love for you will never seize. You will always remain a part of him and he will always hold you in a special place in his heart. However, if he takes this step to be close to you again, will it end in heartbreak once more? He doesn't want to think of such an outcome, but there's always a possibility. No. Nonsense. He can't think about that.

Benedict may love you, but you are first and foremost his best friend. Therefore, any feelings he has of you must be cast aside. Being your friend, in your company, speaking with you, being there for you, that is the priority. Benedict's feelings be damned. He will not make the same idiotic mistakes he made before. He's wiser and stronger now.

The relationship you two share is much more important, now that ever.

Benedict turns to Eloise and smiles, "I think I'll alright, Eloise," he stands with confidence.

His sister looks at him with uncertainty, "Are you sure? You're not going to do anything stupid again, are you?"

He shakes his head, "No. I promise, I am better. I will be better for Y/N."

"If you're sure," Eloise says before Benedict exits the sitting room.

______________________

The wind is blowing through your hair as you ride through the forest. It is midday and you have a lot of energy. James' horse, now yours, Bluebell, is fast and agile. She leaps over bushes and fallen tree trunks with ease.

You and Bluebell have gotten quite close these past few months. She's been able to grant you the freedom you've been aching for.

The first three months after James' passing were hard. Now six months later, you've finally accepted his death. It was unexpected and there was nothing you could do to help. You had loved him dearly and he accepted and understood you like very few have.

You are grateful for the short time you had with him, but now you'd like to slowly move on with your life.

You've been trying to get back into writing. Very few pieces have come out well. The rest thrown into the fireplace, burning to ash so you wouldn't have to see it again.

You've come to realize that the few works that have been kept, you've come up with while riding. Another reason why you have gone out a lot more. You're trying to find that spark again that you once had before James' passing.

You stop at a small creek flowing through the Montclair land. You dismount Bluebell and guide her to the water so she may quench her thirst and rest a bit. You sit by the creek, watching as the water flows by. You listen to the birds chirping, the trees swaying in the wind.

You think about how you've been feeling the past six months. How only in the late hours of the night is when you experienced the heart ache of James' passing, how you felt knowing you will no longer experience his freeing and doting love.

You pull out your journal from your satchel and begin to write:

Deep in the shadows where heartache grew

Mourning hearts match skies of grey

A love once bright as morning dew

Now drifted gone as night to day

The halls keep our memories

Our laughter and tears

Walking among those walls, memories sunken

deep within the seas

It's short yet conveys the feelings you want it too. You don't hate it, but it may need some work. So you keep it in your journal and stand. Some time has passed for Bluebell to catch a break. You mount her once more and head back to the estate in more of a trot rather than a flying gallop.

When you arrive back, you see Clarissa waiting for you.

"Something the matter?"

She gives you a small smile, "I know Jean Louis and myself have informed you of the mourning customs, however, it has been brought to our attention that sometimes one does not need twelve months to mourn the loss of her husband."

"Mother?" you ask her confused.

"I just know that you have always been more of a free spirited woman, which is why James was so drawn to you. I also know that you did love him dearly and I will not be upset that you shorten your mourning period. You wanted to be free from societal standards from the very beginning, therefore, we will allow you to start accepting guests back at this home. You are also free to go back to yours and James' home in London."

You're not sure why your mother-in-law is saying all of this, "I-Thank you, mama. I do appreciate all of that, however, I must admit I am confused why you are mentioning this."

"I received a letter from Mister Benedict Bridgerton. He was requesting to see you."

Your eyes widen in surprise, "I assure you, I didn't ask him to do that. I was planning on asking you myself."

Your mother-in-law chuckles, "Yes, well, it seems Mister Bridgerton beat you to it."

You sigh, "So it seems."

"Everyone mourns differently, cheri, we understand that you would also like to be in the company of others during this time. Mister Bridgerton is a close friend of yours, yes?"

You nod, "He is. I'll make sure we can be seen and-"

Clarissa chuckles, "You don't have to worry about those things here, cheri. I trust you. I will write back to Mister Bridgerton right now."

You curtsey, "Thank you, mama. As usual, your kindness is greatly appreciated."

The older woman sighs, walking up to you and cupping your face, "You never have to thank me for kindness. It is a mother's duty to listen and understand her children. Although you are not my blood, you are my daughter just the same."

Her words brings tears to your eyes. She reminds you so much of your own mother, it hurts a little. To know that your own mother can't be here with you during this time. You're sure she would have provided a lot of her wisdom and advice. Nonetheless, you are grateful to now call Madame Montclair as your own mother.

"Thank you, again."

"Of course," she kisses your cheek, "Best wash up before lunch, yes?"

"Right. Excuse me," you pick up your skirt and rush back into the house to have a quick bath.

[blaisenova]

ermmmm like i dunno if you're still doing requests buttt could you do like kustard but it turns to dustard

that dynamic always interested me but i never see much about it :3

anon, has anyone ever told you that you're a genius?

the kustard to dustard pipeline is WOEFULLY UNEXPLORED. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD. so, naturally, i was REALLY excited when i got this ask. yippie!!! an excuse to write fun fucked up dynamics!!!!!

this one is pretty tame. i can't think of any warnings you might need other than it being like..... long and, obviously, kinda angsty. it's fluffy in the end tho. but that's what you get when you ask me to write i guess LOL

thank you all for the requests btw!! i was NOT expecting so many after the kist fic, but i am pleasantly surprised and am trying to chip away at them as quickly as i can. spat this one out in a few hours, so it might not be my best work, but i'm happy with how it turned out either way :)

as always, the link to this fic on ao3 will be in the reblogs once it's posted, if that's your cup of tea (as it is mine LMAO)

i hope this feeds you well anon. thank you for the ask <3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was undeniable that the multiverse was an entirely cruel and ruthless place.

Or, at least, that was what Red had wholeheartedly believed up until he’d met his other self, in a universe that was so very unlike his own. A universe where the typical LOVE of any given passerby was nothing higher than 1; where Sans and his brother were kind to one another in public; where there was so little need for the royal guard that the worst Sans got for sneaking off to Grillby’s during his shift was a slap on the wrist. It was difficult to believe that a place like that could exist – that it could be self-sustainable, since, logically, their weakness should have led to their downfall – and even harder to look at it as anything more than a childish fantasy that had yet to find its catch.

Initially, Red hated Sans. 

It felt ridiculous, looking back upon it – in the moments when his head lay in Sans’ lap and gentle fingers traced over his scars like they were poetry written in a language Red had never bothered to learn, and he wondered what Sans saw in him that he hadn’t seen; wondered if this was what it felt like to love himself – but it was the truth. It had taken him a while to understand that the circumstances in which they’d grown were enough to turn them into two different people; that hating Sans wasn’t so much like hating himself, or what he could have been, as he wanted it to be.

Really, Sans was so unsuspecting that Red had been foolish enough to let his guard down, forgetting that then was when feeling was the most liable to appear. 

He hadn’t expected to fall in love with the laugh – genuine, unabashed, and lacking all of the gruffness of his own – of someone whose humour was just as terrible as his own.

He’d been far too blind to realise how incredibly endearing it was for someone to wake up and allow themselves to be bleary and half-asleep, cuddling into his arm without even meaning to, even if it meant opening themselves up to being easily picked off.

In allowing someone into his blindspot that he’d believed to be too weak or foolish to use it against him, he’d failed to remember that it was the softest words that cut the deepest, when they would bleed him dry so tenderly and lovingly that he couldn’t even think to fight against the bloodloss; when, instead, he’d lean into the knife and ask them to twist it. The wound was soul deep, and the soul’s wounds could not be so easily ignored.

Though, it was a small price to pay to hear that raucous laughter over jokes that weren’t even funny. Trivial, really, in comparison to soft smiles and gentle touches that moved slowly just to prove to him how tender the world could really be.

“Earth to Red.”

A soul for a soul; a life for a life. They gave one another all of themselves, promised each other that it was enough, and it was. For once, it was, just to be soft.

“Come in, Red.”

There was gentleness in the multiverse, hidden until it was allowed in.

Tiredly, he bat away the hand that waved in front of his sockets, only to grab it by the wrist and pull it back down, firmly, on the crown of his skull. With a laugh, the fingers scratched gentle circles into the bone, and Red hummed happily at the feeling, allowing his sockets to slip shut as he lay against Sans’ legs.

“Where’d you go, space cadet?”

“Nowhere,” he grumbled, sighing softly as he fully relaxed into the touch. “Must’ve dozed off.”

Again, there was that laugh, and Red’s soul fluttered. “With your eyes open?”

“It’s a little known talent of mine,” he hummed.

“Gee, must be handy,” came the response, and amusement never sounded so beautiful. “You’ll have to teach me sometime.”

“Nuh uh,” and he couldn’t stop himself from snorting. “It’s genetic.”

“Ah, damn. Guess we gotta add that to the list of differences.”

“Guess so.” His breath hitched as the hand on his head trailed downward to cup his cheek. His browbones furrowed, ever so slightly, and he felt himself go tense.

“Hey. Look at me.”

After a moment, Red opened his sockets, and there was no sight more welcome than the face of his lover. Each time he saw him was like the first, and Red drank in each of his features as if they’d disappear at any moment: smooth bone, unmarred by chips and cracks; eyelights that glowed softly in dark sockets, like how he imagined fireflies might; ever present, gentle smile that smoothed away his worries. Oh, to be so untouched by cruelty. He’d do anything to keep it that way.

“‘Sup,” he breathed, and Sans’ smile widened as he snorted.

“‘Sup,” he returned. His thumb ran circles over his cheek, and Red leaned into the touch. “You okay?”

With a snicker, he rolled his eyelights at the question. “Super duper.”

Despite himself, Sans laughed too, but, still, pressed on. “You sure? You were spacing out pretty bad before. Like, way out in deep space,” he emphasised, unnecessarily. “No planets around, just stars. Way beyond our galaxy. Uncharted territory. Where no man has gone before.”

“Alright, alright, I get the picture” Red interrupted, though not without chuckling. “‘M okay. Was just thinking.”

When Sans’ head cocked to the side, Red couldn’t help but grin. “About?”

“Uranus.”

At first, his sockets simply narrowed, confused, then all at once, “Ura– Oh. Alright, perv. Har har.”

But, he was laughing, and Red was, too, like it was the funniest joke in the world despite it not even being funny. Maybe it didn’t matter, if Red was the one to say it; if Sans was the one to laugh. Maybe, then, it could be good, even if it wasn’t, really. The sound of their laughter, something shared and sacred, was what Red imagined it might feel like to hear the birds chirp when the sun rose and turned the sky whatever colours it was supposed to when it drove the night away. He hoped that it was blue, like Sans’ favourite colour, but the pictures in his textbooks were too faded to be sure.

When he tuned back in, the laughter had tapered off.

“You do that a lot, y’know,” Sans noted, almost absentmindedly, and his hands turned back to trailing shapes on Red’s skull.

He grunted at the feeling. “Do what?”

“Go to space,” Sans said, simply. “Or… somewhere else. That I can’t reach.”

Red frowned, closing his sockets to cut off the dull thrum of agony he felt in his soul whenever Sans’ smile didn’t reach his eyes like that. “I do it less than I used to. It used to be better, somewhere else – anywhere else – but ‘m not so sure anymore.”

“Where would you wanna go?” he asked, in a whisper. “If you could go anywhere. Anywhere at all.”

For a moment, Red considered. The answer would have been easy before – the surface, of course. Where Paps and every other monster longed to be – but access to the multiverse had opened up options that he’d never known existed. If he could conceive of a place, it surely existed, somewhere. Any place. Anywhere. Anywhere at all. But, if kindness was so thoroughly hidden, why should he want to look for it anywhere else?

“Think I’d rather just stay here,” he hummed. “With you.”

Maybe he should have questioned the way that Sans’ hands stilled at his answer. Maybe he should have opened his eyes; looked at his face; seen his expression; known what it meant.

But, he didn’t.

“Geez,” Sans breathed, with a laugh that sounded breathless. “My answer feels stupid in comparison.”

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

“Anywhere else. Anywhere at all.”

In hindsight, Red should have known it was too good to last; too good to stay good.

A universe where the typical LOVE of any given passerby was nothing higher than 1; where Sans and his brother were kind to one another in public; where there was so little need for the royal guard that the worst Sans got for sneaking off to Grillby’s during his shift was a slap on the wrist. It was difficult to believe that a place like that could exist – that it could be self-sustainable, since, logically, their weakness should have led to their downfall – and even harder to look at it as anything more than a childish fantasy that had yet to find its catch.

Of course, there was a catch. 

There was always a catch. Every childish fantasy grew tainted with time, like the innocence of children was stripped with age. Every fairy tale book grew weary and old, pages yellowed and frayed. Every picture faded, until you couldn’t be sure whether the sky was blue or grey.

But, you hoped it was blue anyway, and maybe that was your mistake.

It was undeniable that the multiverse was an entirely cruel and ruthless place. That was what Red wholeheartedly believed. Maybe, after all, there was a reason that love and LOVE were spelled the same.

Try as he might, though, Red could not hate him.

It felt ridiculous – in the moments when hands clamped around his neck like a vice, choked by the grip and the grief that came with it, as if the two were one in the same, and they would both cry, both tremble in fear, or fury, or something worse, and Red would think that this was what it was like to hate himself – but it was the truth. It had taken him a while to understand that the circumstances in which they’d changed were enough to turn them into two different people; that hating Dust wasn’t so much like loving himself, or what he could have been, as he wanted it to be.

Really, Red had underestimated Dust as he had been before; had assumed that kindness meant the incapacity for cruelty.

And, in allowing someone into his blindspot that he’d believed to be too weak or foolish to use it against him, he’d failed to remember that it was the softest words that cut the deepest, when they would leave scars so deep that all he could think of was how much he missed the feeling; when he’d search for the knife and throw himself against it. The wound was soul deep, and the soul’s wounds could not be so easily ignored.

Before, he’d thought it was a small price to pay. Trivial, really, in comparison to what he had to gain from it. As if it were a simple transaction as opposed to something living, and breathing, and ever changing; as if he would never have to be the one who was tender; as if that made it anything less valuable.

“Red.”

A soul for a soul; a life for a life. They gave one another all of themselves, promised each other that it was enough, and it was. Just as before, it was. Harsher now, but Dust had taught Red to be soft, and Red would teach him what he’d forgotten.

“Red.”

There was gentleness in the multiverse, hidden until it was allowed in.

With a jolt, he came back to reality to a slap on the face, not hard enough to hurt, but more than enough to be startling. He frowned, but, nonetheless, took his hand by the wrist and guided it to the crown of his skull. Hesitantly, as if spurred on by some muscle memory, the fingers ran in gentle circles across his bone, and Red hummed in approval at the feeling as he lay against Dust’s legs.

“Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere,” he mumbled, unconsciously leaning into the touch. “Must’ve dozed off.”

“With your eyes open,” Dust said, and it wasn’t a question. “Freak.”

Immediately, Red snorted. “Guess we gotta add that to the list of similarities.”

Despite himself, Dust laughed; the sound short, subdued, and nothing like the laugh he’d fallen in love with, but something about it made his soul flutter, nonetheless. “Guess so.”

After a moment, Red opened his sockets. Each time he saw him was like the first, and Red drank in each of his features as if they’d disappear at any moment – as they had before – smooth bone that crackled and buzzed with magic, refusing to be underestimated; eyelights that glowed brightly in dark sockets, like how he imagined neon signs would on a city street in the middle of the night; a face shrouded by shadow, as if it was saved for him alone to see. In the end, he’d been marred by cruelty despite Red’s best efforts, but he was beautiful nonetheless.

“‘Sup,” Dust mumbled, and the edges of his mouth quirked up in an attempt at a smile.

Slowly, Red lifted his hand and, ever so gently, cupped Dust’s cheek, pausing when his breath hitched, but, with the same caution, Dust leaned into the touch; barely enough to be noticed, but Red noticed. This time, he saw. “‘Sup,” he finally returned. “You okay?”

“You’re going to disappear,” Dust whispered, and his voice broke on the words in a way that made Red feel hollowed out. “You’re going to go somewhere else. Somewhere that I can’t reach. Like you do when you go to space. It scares me.”

Browbones furrowed, Red ran gentle circles across his love’s cheek, staying silent as Dust took in a shuddering breath to continue; a quirk Red had grown accustomed to.

“I remember what you told me before,” he said, and his hand came up to desperately hold Red’s to his face, like he might forget it was there if he didn’t make sure. “That you did it because it was better to be somewhere else – anywhere else. Do you want that now? To be somewhere else? Away from me?”

“No,” Red said, and the lack of hesitation in his answer surprised even himself. “I don’t want that.”

Again, Dust’s breath hitched, and he frowned, like the answer wasn’t enough, and, maybe, it wasn’t. His fingers threaded between Red’s, and, when he clutched onto his hand, Red squeezed back, holding him with desperation to match. Dust laughed, a breathless sound. “I’m not the person that you loved.”

Scoffing, Red rolled his eyelights at the notion. “Of course you are.”

“I’m not,” Dust insisted, and something about it was a plea.

“Then,” he breathed, “I love you. This you.”

And, with a breath that was cut off with something that sounded suspiciously like a sob, Dust leaned forward – over Red’s body, as if to trap him – and pressed his chest against Red’s. His ribs fluttered with each breath, and Red guided his stuttering breaths with deep inhales that interlocked their ribs with each one. His hand remained stuck to Dust’s cheek, and he squeezed gently, relieved when Dust squeezed back to let him know he was still here; in this reality, not another.

“Breathe,” Red commanded, soft; soft, like he’d been taught. “I’m here.”

Dust took a heaving breath – deep, frantic, like he’d been drowning – and, in a voice that sounded so much like before – reminding Red once more that this was the person he loved, despite the change – he whispered, “Where would you wanna go? If you could go anywhere. Anywhere at all.”

The question made him sputter, for a moment. Then, with a breathless laugh, “Seriously?”

“Please,” he pleaded, so what could Red do but answer?

The answer would have been easy before – here; here, just like before – but, despite how they fought against it, things had changed. Did that mean his answer had to change? That his longing had to shift, too? The multiverse was infinite. If he could conceive of a place, it surely existed, somewhere. Maybe even somewhere that Sans stayed Sans, but would it be the same? Any place. Anywhere. Anywhere at all. But, if kindness was so thoroughly hidden – had been ripped from Dust’s grasp with the signature ruthlessness of the multiverse – then why shouldn’t Red be it? Like Dust had been for him, before.

“Think I’d like to stay here,” he hummed. “With you. Still.”

And, this time, Red noticed the way that Dust’s breathing slowed to a stop; felt the way that his magic crackled between his joints; how something wet slipped between their fingers on Dust’s cheek; knew what it meant.

“Okay,” Dust whispered.

“What about you? Where would you go?”

There was a pause – a moment as Dust inhaled once more; held Red’s hand tight, but oh, so gentle – before he managed to answer. “Here,” he said. “With you.”

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 15 Thoughts: Seasoned Hunters

What a fucking episode. No complaints at all. It's just solid gold all the way through and just like gold it's a dense so there is lots to dig in to, and not much point in a preamble.

Spoilers for episode 15, and all of TMA, below the cut.

I really like the introductory office drama portion of today's episode. It's not particularly enlightening, and there isn't anything new in it, but it sets the stage well. Yes, that was a pun. Alice reacted to the news as I knew she would, because she can't help herself. But other than that I really like the mention of Luke playing at The Glad. Magnus stuff always does a really good job of peppering in real places.

This incident was also incredibly short. However unlike last week's episode I think it utilised that time so much better. All of it was a slow build up to one event and was really just three scenes. Set up, hunt, conclusion. Simple and to the point but incredibly effective. Last week's episode felt like too big of an idea bent to fit too short of a time, while this weeks felt like a good story that was given the time it needed and no more or less. Really big fan of the whole thing.

The incident didn't have too much to really get into here. If I were live blogging you would've seen me say "Lady Mowbray?!?!" when the Caterer said "the really high-end stuff". I have been waiting for something aristocratic. The set up is a little cliché but I really like the subversion of Battle Royale instead of The Most Dangerous Game. It's not only an effective twist when the story is from the Caterer's PoV it's a much better insight into the characters were being introduced to. It also highlights something fairly interesting about TMP vs TMA. This incident is one of the most singular in terms of its representation of a TMA Entity but that expectation is somewhat subverted by having these characters hunt each other for another rather than all be hunted down. It wouldn't be out of place in TMA but it is taking a bit of a different approach.

Speaking of the characters though. Fuck Yeah. Lady Mowbray. Finally. I, and probably all of Statement Remains, have been waiting for her appearance since last October when some lucky folks got to meet her bodyguards as part of the ARG. I didn't have her pegged for a badass cannibal but here we are. She really surpassed my expectations. I love aristocratic monster people so I had high hopes and I am still pleasantly surprised.

Celia and Lady M's interaction is really great. I love that we're getting more and more evidence that Celia is clearly more than she's letting everyone else in on. I, obviously at this point, think she's from TMA's universe for a lot of reasons. Lady M not being able to place why she smells so wrong but picking up on her being out of place is just more evidence of that. Celia holding her ground and not taking any shit from Lady M is also incredible. She just listened to how she eats people, gets jumped scared by her, and then instantly tells her to fuck off by way of not giving her a name. She's really living up to the Ripley namesake and I love every second of it.

I will not soon forget that tiny little tease about Bouchard lore either. Actually cruel.

Luke and Alice at the bar wasn't a big moment but it's nice to see her interact with more than just her co-workers. Meeting Luke and he being seemingly normal was also nice, be a shame when he dies.

The final section was phenomenal. I really love it when these shows break format and what a format break it was. So first things first this was recorded on a tape recorder. Significant for likely obvious reasons but unlike the last time these showed up this one isn't an incidental placement like the Institute's one. It was being carried by the woman. We know Alice feels like she's been followed since that incident and this is likely related to it but I don't think it's related in the most obvious sense. There is a very obvious conclusion to draw from TMA knowledge but I feel like that might be folly here. It seems a little too obvious and a little too strained at the same time. The Institute and [Error] being so related to that and in this fashion I think would feel a bit forced, and so this feels more like a red herring to me. Something is going on with them but I don't think it's going to be that.

So Drowning Victim, as she is credited, is super intriguing for a million reasons. Continuing on from that prior thought it's quite possible that the tape recorder and Alice being in the same place is entirely coincidental. It's one of those things that feels like a scheme from TMA context but everything being linked feels too TMA to me for right now. But what she's saying is really interesting. Because with those tape recorders it sounds like a statement. It's not just random mumbling but a fairly coherent narrative. Or a recalling of prior events. Whether the Drowning Victim is the original PoV for that potential statement is hard to say. I doubt it but it would be possible. Another strong idea here is that it is linked to [Error] and her deal might be another archive. Instead of just collection and storage she could be able to force others to relive them through the statements. That's a TMA parallel I think would be a much stronger use of TMA's theme.

Outside of that Alice's interaction with her is so so well done. I think it's really important to show that Alice both has a heart and is able to stop with her attitude when it's really important. Getting to see that when push comes to shove she can step up is going to be something that'll come back around. We all know that everyone at the OIAR is in for a world of hurt and I think Alice is the person the fanbase has the biggest issue with in that sort of context so far. And her singing Nellie the Elephant for compression rate is sort of heart breaking to listen to. Just a really fantastic performance from Billie and people better be nicer to Alice after this. I better not hear her getting any shit for running away either. She gave CPR to a woman who basically attacked her, drowned in the middle of London, died, and then kept talking.

Also, quite note, this episode had five new voice actors in it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet

Klaus Watch: Wasn't expecting this to return so soon but here we are. This incident doesn't appear on Klaus but what does is this, CAT1RB2373-10072023-########. This has the accompanying note "Dame M" and a location "London, England".

DPHW Theory: 6451 is a pretty reasonable rating for this. Hunting mostly focused on the killing part of it. Some mental compulsion, seclusion, and obviously the predator/prey dynamic. The 1 in Weird is more evidence that 1 is the lowest rating with 0 being the highest. Nothing Weird in this one really.

CAT# Theory: CAT1 has a person in it.

I'm still debating whether to do a post on that theory because part of me does feel like it'd ruin other people's fun. Another part of me thinks that theories as prolific as that deserve to be scrutinised as intently as possible. Although there is a problem with that idea because my DPHW theory that has become the default does seem to be mine and I've not seen any cases of parallel thought on that one. The CAT theory has 10+ individuals all coming to roughly the same conclusion though and I'm not sure if that makes it more fair game or not. I, personally, welcome any challenges to my theories and I know some people who have posted the CAT theory do but that's not the same as them all holding that stance. It's not really possible to single anyone out either as it's not about any single person but the idea itself. IDK, give your thoughts on it.

This one does solidly fit into that theory though.

R# Theory: B sounds good to me. Although it's worth mentioning that there is a hyphen in this header between the rank and the DPHW.

Header talk: Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion is interesting for two reasons. First off it being Hunt sort of precludes, secondly Compulsion is a strange filing for this IMO. There was an element of it but it was fairly minor and didn't seem like the thrust of the episode. The Caterer was compelled to be quiet but wasn't forced to hunt the rest of the brigade. He chose that when he realised what Lady M. was getting at.

[kendrene]

Prompt: Ava/Beatrice + genderfluid!Ava please?

“Are you mad?” You have to force the words past the lump in your throat, not sure that you really want her to answer. But Beatrice has been quiet since you told her, and she has that faraway look in her eyes, the one she gets when she’s thinking too hard about something. There’s a book open in her lap, and you can tell, you are sure she hasn’t read a single word. 

“Am I-” Beatrice looks up, looks at you for the first time since you’ve said - mumbled, nearly lost in your cup of morning tea - hey, I don’t feel like a girl sometimes, is that okay? - and frowns. “Did you forget to unload the dishwasher again?” 

“Uhm. No?” 

“Ate all my leftovers?”

“Nope.” To be honest, you've been tempted. The kung pao chicken Beatrice ordered last night from Aunt Fēn had smelled very very good.

“Have you taken my fleece without asking? You know, the green one with the sleeves that are too long for you and you have to roll up?” 

God, you love that fleece. It's soft and cozy and above all it always smells of Beatrice, even after washing. 

"It's in the closet. I know because I wanted to wear it, but then I remembered I should ask you for it first."

"Thank you, Ava." Beatrice places a piece of paper in between the pages of her book, closes it and pushes it aside. "Then why are you asking me if I'm mad?"

You frown, shaking a corner of the napkin you've been tearing apart loose from where it stuck to your finger. You expected this conversation to be hard. You had resigned yourself to it. You’re not prepared for it to be confusing.

“Beatrice.” You begin slowly, trying to pick your words with care. It isn’t easy. You’re not the kind of person that often thinks before they speak. “None of the things you’ve asked me about make you mad when I do them.” 

Oh.

You blink.

Ohhhhh.

“Exactly.” Beatrice reaches across the table, squeezes your hand with a gentle smile. “So why would I be mad that you told me about yourself?” 

“I don’t know.” You admit, dropping your gaze. The tea cup’s left a wet ring on the surface of the table, and you dip the tip of a finger in it, drawing lazy figure eights. “Maybe because I kind of sprang it on you? Made you fall madly in love with me then went: surprise! I’m not a girl all the time, actually.”

“Ava.” Beatrice flips your hand palm up, tracing her thumb across it until she’s resting it on top of the small knot of veins at the hinge of your wrist. Your pulse quickens, races fast enough for her to feel. “When I fell in love with you, I didn’t expect you not to change.”

“No?” 

She shakes her head, still smiling. 

“That would be falling in love with an idea. But we all change, we all grow. Sometimes we have parts of us we don’t discover until we’re ready, or until we reach a turning point in life. There’s no time limit on it.” 

“So you’re okay with it? Even though I don’t have it all figured out, yet?” You want to explain that it feels shiny and new, but also familiar, like a pocketful of change you forgot inside an old coat only to be pleasantly surprised when you unearth it a couple seasons later. You want to tell her that some days you look at yourself in the mirror and you do see a girl, but not the kind that Sister Frances had in mind when she had refused to cut your hair as short as you’d have liked and forced you to wear dresses. That at night you lie awake till late, listening to her breathing even out as she falls asleep, and imagine the friction of your nape, shaved bare, against the cotton of the pillow. 

And, sometimes, you think, maybe, you’re a fraud. “What if I’m wrong?” Your voice shakes a little. “What if it turns out this was a waste of time?” 

“Getting to know yourself is never time wasted.” Beatrice lets go of your hand and comes around to your chair, sinking to her knees there. “I love you, Ava” She says and you cling to her words the same way she clings to your wrists, the two of you forming one lifeline. “Even if you eventually decide this label doesn’t fit. Even if it turns out none of them do, I love you.” 

You lean down, rest your forehead against hers and it feels a bit precarious, this position, like when people refer to you as she. But Beatrice loops her arms around you, steady. Ready to catch you.

And you know that, no matter what, she always will be.

[khaopybara]

the gif at your header (idk how we call this here) got me going insane,,,, the way kant shudders when bison touches his lips on his neck omg... so much to unpack eu nunca serei normal sobre eles bibi

eu tive que reescrever esse ask umas três vezes pq meu computador dava tela azul ou a internet caia, mas enfim! poisé né, amg, eu pessoalmente, me tornarei completamente insuportável quando tivermos THK e principalmente KantBison entre nós, sinto muito mesmo.

you see, i'm very fond of this header because it's the official version of my previous one from the pilot trailer, and even though there were a few other scenes that fully deserved to be always seen (i'm looking at you bondage + jesus shirt), this one, as you you've pointed out, has so much to offer.

as i said previously, i had to rewrite this a few times for technical issues, so excuse me, i'm not as eloquent anymore. but i want to talk about the little twitch on kant's eyebrow as soon as bison kisses his neck. there's just something particularly delicious with the way kant's head is thrown back and his chest is all exposed. he's asking to be bitten, and he has a beautiful horny man on his lap that i'm sure would love to mark him all over.

i also love the way kant's thumb is brushing over bison's arm. it makes it feel… dependable? (and here i am again hoping they'll introduce kant to the whole kinky/bdsm thing in a healthy way. logically, i have no reason to believe it won't be the case bc one of the main plot points for seesawliu in the warp effect was communication (and the lack of it), but also, we don't even know this man yet, maybe he was already into this and was lucky to get himself an assassin boyfriend who's into that, too).

we also can't forget the mirror. the mirror really is something. it's positioned really interestingly, too, as someone who doesn't have tattoos and never been to a studio, idk if it's common to have a mirror so close when you're tattooing/being tattooed, but i appreciate it for this scene, especially because you can see kant's hand on bison's thigh which is the obvious place for it to be, but i was so pleasantly surprised.

you know, anon, i can fucking wait to have this full scene in its glory. it'll be fantastic. you might not hear from me for a while bc i'll pass out (that's a lie, i'll be giffing the shit out of those).

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Very sincerely & frustrated at the system:

The bar for men (and those perceived as such) is on the floor. I’m talking about kindness to customer service workers, helping people who ask.

As a trans masc autistic person who has been on T for almost a year & a half, as someone who has crossed the grey area & is now fully assumed AMAB*, I’m hyperaware of gender norms & expectations. I’m learning on the fly what most people assume I already know. And this is one of the things I’m aware of, and don’t like (to say the least).

(* I got blessed with androgynous genes + I like having longer hair, but I’m also ✨unfortunately endowed✨, so most people can’t tell if I’m trans masc, trans fem, or just an effeminate/queer man, & I don’t care to correct any of them. I basically pass as ‘question-mark something not-cisgendered’, but I do pass enough thanks to facial hair & body weight distribution to be assumed assigned/accused male now.)

The relief on a cashier’s face when I don’t yell at them for messing something up, & their anxiety as they realize it was messed up. The relaxing of shoulders when they hear me say “please”.

The way that one of the residents (an old man) at a potential job (disabled/elderly care) smiles at me for how kind I am when I ask him how to get the receptionist’s attention without screaming for them or something else I would consider rude. The way how I say please & thank you to a desk receptionist, & they immediately gush about how much of a gentleman I am. The way the employees come out of the back to greet me because the receptionist was gushing.

The way that people of all genders smile when I hold open the door & mumble a thank you (especially men). The way (in reverse) they blink when I say thank you.

The way people tell me how well-dressed I am, in just a t-shirt & form-fitting sweatpants, because my clothes are clean with no visible holes (let’s be real, most of my stuff has small holes; I thrift), & because my hair has minimal effort put into it (shampoo & conditioner, combed/half-heartedly styled (it doesn’t take a lot, my hair is curly & loves to do its own thing)). The way they’re pleasantly surprised that I show up to interviews or appointments having actually showered beforehand.

There’s more I can’t think of right now. But the grooming standards are on the floor, as are the communication standards.

For contrast, before I crossed the threshold, here are the same types of situations:

I won’t lie that cashiers are always relieved when you don’t yell at them. But the please & thank you are expected & don’t cause any relief or response.

The way I would ask people the same type of questions (how to get the receptionist’s attention) & either be ignored or (if they did help) get checked out by someone twice (or more) my age. The way I was expected to say please & thank you, & got side looks if I forgot (I usually didn’t, but after daily contact with coworkers, if I was sleep deprived I might forget).

The way men got annoyed if I opened/held the door for them, & if possible opened the other door to avoid going through the one I opened.

The absurd grooming standards of what you’re “allowed” to wear, how styled & perfect your hair should be, & even the expectation to wear makeup & people (including potential employers) getting annoyed/angry when I didn’t. (I was never that into makeup 🤷‍♂️.)

And to be clear, I live in a “liberal”/blue-ish area. I don’t live in a state that’s known for hard gender divides, strict rules, harsh criticism of deviance. I know some places are worse, or even much worse (one of my ex-gfs lived in northern Idaho &...yeah).

Some places are probably better, especially big cities or safe states for LGBT+ people. But my state, overall a safe place for trans people, is still incredibly transphobic & gendered.

And to anyone who sees this: If you’re masculine/a man & you can raise the standards, please do. If you date / are attracted to men or masculine people, please don’t tolerate/accept subpar treatment. It isn’t too much to expect respect.

[bixiebeet]

Chapter 5: Three Beers and One Club Soda

Winston agreed to one drink. Egon agreed to a club soda. They all walked over to a local dive bar where no one cared that they were the famous Ghostbusters.

The place was fairly empty and smelled of stale cigarettes. A few people sat on bar stools, chatting with the bartender. Winston figured that they must be part of the regular weeknight crowd. Rock music from a stereo was drowned out by the echo of live music from next door; it sounded like a jazz band was practicing.

“You can have one measly beer, Spengler,” Peter laughed as the team crowded into a small circular booth. “I’m buying tonight.”

Egon insisted that he wouldn’t drink while he was working—and it seemed like he was always working. He was eager to return to his lab and finish some calculations related to the dangerously crowded ghost storage facility unit.

“I wanted to meet Winston in a less formal setting. That’s all,” Egon shrugged. He awkwardly gripped the knot of his tie and slightly loosened it. Winston figured that was Egon’s version of casual, and he appreciated the scientist’s friendly gesture.

Ray walked over from the bar carrying four glass bottles: three beers and one club soda. “First round is on me,” he said. He went back to grab a bowl of pretzels for the table.

Winston took a swig of beer and shifted uneasily. He’d been prepared for an interview, not happy hour. What would he talk about? What did he have in common with three white guys from the Ivy League? He nibbled on some pretzels and tried to think about some ‘safe’ topics for small talk.

“So, you like baseball…?” Winston began. He was a lifelong Yankees fan and had dreamed of being a professional ball player as a kid. Ultimately, he was better at engineering than he was at running bases.

No one had time to answer because of the woman who’d walked up to the booth. “Peter Venkman, is that you?” she said, tapping him on the shoulder.

“It’s Doctor Venkman,” he replied, as he cleared his throat and turned around “Do I know you?”

“Do you forget all your teaching assistants?” The woman smirked and cocked her head to the side. She had a short Afro and wore denim from head to toe; Winston thought she looked too cool for this bar, and much too cool to be talking to the Ghostbusters.

Peter’s jaw metaphorically dropped to the floor. It was a student he’d had when he first began his PhD program at Columbia.

“The years have been kinder to Lisa than to Peter,” Egon said dryly.

“Another woman who was strangely immune to the Venkman charm,” Ray smiled, sipping his beer.

Peter is the smooth talker and the lover of the group, Winston thought. Egon had to be the brains. And Ray—well, he could tell that Ray was genuinely enthusiastic about his work and always energetic. Ray seemed to be the heart that kept everyone beating on track.

Peter excused himself for a moment to have a private conversation. Egon and Ray didn’t have much to say about baseball, but they did have a lot to say about the ghosts supposedly haunting the Mets at Shea Stadium.

A few minutes later, Peter came back to the table with a huge grin on his face. “You guys won’t believe this!!”

Lisa was pleasantly surprised to see him at the bar after all these years. She remembered Peter fondly, despite his cad-like behavior when he was a young PhD and she was a grad student. Her husband—yes, she was married now—managed the band playing tonight at the jazz club next door.

“They invited us to see the show,” Peter beamed.

Winston wasn’t so sure about sticking around. He loved jazz, but it was a long trip back uptown to his apartment. It turns out that he wasn’t the only person having doubts about the late night.

“I’m going back to the firehouse,” Egon said with a yawn. He looked straight at Peter. “Try to be home before 3 am this time.” Egon peeled out of the booth and put $1 in the bar’s tip jar on his way out.

“I don’t care if I wake him up, we’re staying out late. It’ll be fun,” Peter said with an impish grin. He lifted his beer bottle to clink ‘cheers’ with Ray.

“Does Egon really work all night? He looked tired,” Winston whispered to Ray.

“Yup, ever since college. Lately, he’s focused on his spores, mold, and fungus,” Ray replied. “He’ll probably bore Janine with some mushroom discovery before she goes home.”

“I overheard him rambling to her about examining his prized king oyster—and she acted as if she was interested! It’s just a mushroom, for heaven’s sake,” Peter said, rolling his eyes.

Winston silently sipped his beer. It didn’t sound like Egon was talking about a mushroom…but he really didn’t know what to make of Egon and Janine. At least Winston would have tonight to learn more about Peter and Ray.

“I’m more into blues,” Ray said. “But jazz can be fun.” He and Peter bantered for a bit about music. The object of Peter’s affection—Dana Barrett—was a classical musician. He’d stopped by Lincoln Center this afternoon to wait for her after orchestral practice. He figured that now was a good time to him to brush up on his musician knowledge.

They got up and headed to the club. That’s when Peter mentioned a minor complication before they could enjoy the show.

“Lisa thinks that the instruments might be haunted,” Peter said as they entered the club.

[arthurdrakoni]

Season 3 of Residents of Proserpina Park has mythological tricksters, character development, and uh, oh right, me! I’m in this season too.

Season three of @proserpinapark has been something really special. We got twelve episodes rather than the usual ten, we got to meet the tricksters of the park, and the voice actors gave fantastic performances. Oh, and I got to be one of those voice actors.

When we last left our heroes, they had just come to a shocking revelation: the park is named Proserpina Park! Oh, and Sam is back. That’s also pretty important. Ah, but Sam isn’t alone. He’s joined by an old friend named Jessica. She has a freewheeling devil-may-care personality, and a very cavalier when it comes to the creatures of the park. Jessica is back to settle some old business. Business that Dog, the gang’s loyal alien in canine disguise, has some connection to. It has something to do with a particularly mysterious creature. 

Alina and her friends are going to have to venture into the depths of the park to find answers. They must be sure to keep their wits sharp. For, in this season, we shall meet the tricksters who call the park home. Meanwhile, Mirai is having her own adventures in Japan. She has found her way to a village populated by yoaki. She’s certainly out of place as a mere human, but she’ll make some unlikely allies during her time in the village. Everyone buckle up, because this season of Residents of Proserpina Park is sure to be a wild ride.

In the immortal words of John Lennon, you get by with a little help from your friends. That is a major theme of this season. It is repeatedly emphasized how Alina’s friends, Drew and Jun, help to reign in Alina and dial back her impulses.

Jessica, a new character from this season, also emphasizes the theme of friendship. She does so as a foil to Alina. Jessica is, essentially, how Alina would have turned out if she didn’t have her friends, or if she had alienated them. Jessica tends to rush in first, and ask questions later, if at all. She tends to focus on whether she can do something, rather than if she should do it. Jessica is determined to become the most powerful being in the park. It doesn’t matter how many creatures she has to hurt to achieve this.

We also get to learn more about Drew and Jun’s backstories this season. We learn that Drew tried college, decided it wasn’t for them, dropped out, and doesn’t have any concrete plans in life. They’re just going wherever the winds of fate take them. Drew is well aware that they will probably part ways with Alina and Jun one day. However, they don’t despair. It isn’t how much time they have with Alina and Jun, but how they spend it that matters. Even if they must part ways eventually, Drew will always have Alina and Jun’s backs.

This is quite a thoughtful and introspective moment from what tends to be a fairly lighthearted audio drama. It rings very true to my own experiences.

Naturally, we get to meet all sorts of amazing new creatures from across World Mythology and Folklore. I had been hoping we might meet Anansi, the trickster spider god of the Akan people, at some point. Lo and behold, this season more than delivered on that. Vincent C. Davis gave such an absolutely wonderful performance. He sounded almost exactly how I always envisioned Anansi sounding. It was pitch-perfect casting. I loved getting to meet the wemategunis. It is a creature from the folklore of the Lenape people. I always appreciate getting to learn more about Native American cultures. I was also pleasantly surprised that we got an entire episode devoted to Mirai’s adventures in Japan. I had been hoping we might get something like this at some point.

Let’s see, what am I forgetting? Oh, right, I’m in this season too. I got to voice Slenderman. He was included as an example of a creature form modern day folklore. This was the first major voice acting role that wasn’t a bit part. I’m very excited that I actually got to be part of Residents of Proserpina Park. I had a lot of fun voicing Slenderman. Angela Yih said she envisioned Slenderman sounding like God from Puppet History of the Universe. So, I tried to mimic that style. I love the distorted sound-effects that Angela included for the parts where Slenderman really shows his true colors. And hey, who knows, maybe you’ll get to hear me again when season four rolls around.

I don’t know what direction season four of Residents of Proserpina Park will be heading, it can’t wait to find out. Season three introduced so many amazing new creatures, but also have character development to the humans. The future is looking very bright for Residents of Proserpina Park.

Have you listened to season three of Residents of Proserpina Park? If so, what did you think?

Link to the original review on my blog: https://drakoniandgriffalco.blogspot.com/2023/08/the-audio-file-residents-of-proserpina.html

And here’s the links to my reviews of the first two seasons of you haven’t checked those out

Season One: https://drakoniandgriffalco.blogspot.com/2021/08/the-audio-file-residents-of-proserpina.html?m=1

Season Two: https://drakoniandgriffalco.blogspot.com/2022/04/the-audio-file-residents-of-proserpina.html?m=1

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, still in shock that we got a big emotional beat on OG last night!! Yeah it was just the one, and I have some concerns about how the rest went (the Connor visit is not going anywhere good and I'm worried it's going to the absolute worst place), but I'll take that Buddie scene as a win, especially since I was expecting disappointment all around on both weewoo shows this week. Yeah I'm not to excited for LS tonight even though I ALWAYS want the underused characters on it (Paul, Mateo, and Marjan) to have more time. But this arc for Marjan is literally the THIRD unhinged killer plot we've had only half the season has gone by!! Can we please stop and get back to emergencies ffs??!! Or lovely character driven plots like Paul's in 4x07 which might be my favorite episode this season (don't get me started on how well done that was next to Carlos's "arc" which coincidentally also involved an unhinged killer 🙄🙄). Anyway last night turned out better than expected, maybe this will too so good luck to us 🍸🍸🍸!!

Hello friend! It looks like this week putting expectations in the ground went more to "pleasantly surprised" instead of "our expectations were low, but holy fuck" so yay for us! Overall, I enjoyed the episode, though I agree I never want to see Conor or Kameron again and I can't anticipate anything good coming out of this (still manifesting HARD that it ends up not being Buck's baby and we can juat forget this nonsense ever happened.) I do have some issues with how the rehab place was portrayed and the lack of build up for a character they decided to retcon all the way back to season 1 (not to mention him leaving Bobby that voicemail and even doing a flashback in episode to it only to then say Wendall died immediately 🙄), but I get what they were trying to do and the present day Bobby stuff did turn out pretty good! I just...I WANTED to mourn Wendall and feel that loss but by them never mentioning him BEFORE his death it was just...hard to care 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also, not NEARLY enough Chimney. Also, also, 2 weeks without any emergency calls before going on a 2 week break with all the storylines looking mostly wrapped up? Weird choice. I can't wait to talk about the Buddie goodness though!!

LS is, as you pointed out, doing yet another crazed killer (let's not forget we've had a few in previous seasons too like Sadie and that dirty cop dude from the ice storm) and ALSO running light on emergency calls this season which is...a bummer. I AM excited to get more Marjan though, and hopefully the 126 coming to her rescue so we can get *some* kind of emergency call and team feels!

Cheers friend, and let's manifest some good things while we've got all that good Buddie juju flowing!

[speedygal]

@stackofbookswithlegs is finally getting his top surgery tomorrow! He's come so far, as has his family, i remember when he got off t to be there for his grandma just so she would recognize him as he cared for her, i remember when he had angst (or dysphoria? What was it called????) after the fact before going back on T, how he was proud to still have some chin hair from his t that he called funny enough Mr T, before deciding who he was once again instead of a butch lesbian, i am so proud that he went on this path a couple years ago or so.

It's been one hell of a rollercoaster suffice to say and just being the chill person who randomly celebrated at developments that were positive to him in any way possible.

i remember that moment when i reacted at a message that he sent back when he lived with his parents who thought he was a crazy lady, back when he got choked and thrown, and encouraged him to leave, (i believe it were night? Morning? Whatever) i knew he wasn't crazy and i believed that he wasn't.

i remember sending him a youtube link to how to pack his article of clothing military style so it wouldn't be obvious that he were leaving per his slowly packing activity. i remember how I suggested ways for him to sneak his cat out with him and how he broke his own heart having to leave the cat behind after making the choice. I remember being on the edge of my seat bracing myself bracing for whether or not he got out, whether or not he got on the bus (or train?) and got to a safer place. Being relieved when he got out alright with his parents unaware.

I remember when he couch surfed for awhile and how he tried to make himself useful by doing some cleaning as he mentioned to me once and then losing track of him along the way. I believed in him. I believed things would get better, eventually, like knowing things were going to change someway somehow hell or highwater and it would take a long time but he would get there.

I remember how he started getting the funds for his surgery getting in order by saving and i think gofund me??? I remember how he took the steps to get a doctor, to get the appointment, to get the consult, how excited i was for him.

I remember being pleasantly surprised last year or so when he informed me his parents came around, he worked at the farm, and that he was in better spirits!

and then this year, feb 2nd, 2023, today, he told me that he's getting his top surgery tomorrow!

I sort of kind of got invested in his well being after he mentioned the whole being hurt thing after a small chat, probably star trek related, maybe, and quickly became his cheerleader.

It's a lot like being a fan of a show but it's real life and cheering from the sidelines watching the person grow and losing track every so often and they show up again with different usernames every so often. A journey that cannot be binged all the way but technically can when you're in the beginning of it.

I recall that he had a username along the lines of foxey mulder or was it foxymulder back then. I've been able to keep track of him as he's that one Star Trek fan who loves Fox Mulder and Jim Kirk. But, he was always Julian to me.

I am so proud for you, boi

also he's definitely going to make 'i'll be right back, i gotta get something off my chest first.' joke.

Well, might forget about saying that on the most exciting day of his life but it's the thought that counts by reminding him tonight. <3

[mystiq-u]

They try to get closer to you

Ft. Zhongli, Kaeya and childe.

Warnings: None.

Genre: Fluff

Notes: Not everyone is in a romantic relationship with the reader... Well, at least not in the beginning of their parts. Also, the childe one is kinda long but I love it and I'm sure you will too.

Zhongli

It had been a while since you both had met because of Zhongli's busy schedule. You weren't very happy with that, but you were always happy when his letters came in. He always complimented you in them, asked about every little thing and wrote you a short poem at the end of each letter.

But he missed your physical presence and your touch. He missed seeing you smile when he would say something silly or when he would forget to bring Mora. So he came up with a plan.

Aeons ago a certain drunken bard friend of his had once told him that he had a 'fine' neck. Whatever that meant... And that he should, "Show it off" sometimes by not letting the beauty suffocate with his tie. Whatever that meant...

So he decided to go all out. He showed up at your place in the morning right before he would generally leave for the wangsheng funeral parlour.

Being the gentleman that he is, he brought along with him a bouquet of glaze lillies. You were surprised on seeing him on your doorstep when he had been so busy.

"Good morning, my love." Zhongli greeted you with a gentle smile as soon as you opened the door. "Good morning. How are you? Come- come in please." You told him nervously. Since he had never shown up unannounced before, it caught you by surprise.

"Oh, these are for you." He said, passing the beautiful bouquet to you. "This wasn't necessary but thank you for making my day better." You smiled back.

Then you noticed that Zhongli wasn't wearing his tie. You had never seen him without one in your 4-month relationship. His big collared shirt's top button was left open showing off a little bit of his neck, it was a little more casual than what he usually wore but the look suited him.

"So, what brings you here?" You asked him after placing the bouquet in an empty vase. "My apologies for the unannounced visit but I need your help." He said.

"My help? Sure. I'll help you with whatever it is that you need my help with." You were confused. Zhongli was a very resourceful man. He never needed help. Well, except for the times that he would have no Mora but let's ignore that. It was usually you that needed his help and sometimes you wished he needed your help with something. You had your wish.

"My tie was ruined because of a rather... Unexpected hilichurl attack." He began. "Oh no. Are you alright?" You panicked. "Yes. I am. I handled it but I bought a new tie and I am unable to adjust its length. It always seems too long or too short. It must be the fabric of this one for I know how to make a tie. But I need your help with it." He spoke calmly.

Something was not right about this and you knew just what it was. Because what does the fabric even have to do with the length of the tie? But you also felt like you should take the opportunity to be closer to him. So you calmly took his tie and stood on your tippy-toes to put it around his neck.

He smelled like tea. It was pleasant. You took your sweet time doing his tie and he didn't seem to mind. Not at all. He just seemed a little dazed.

Unbeknownst to you, he was also enjoying the way your hair tickled his nose a little and the way his heart seemed to beat pleasantly faster at your closeness.

It was only one tie and sadly, sooner or later you had to let go. "It's done." You said and looked up at the brunet after you did his tie. He held your gaze and even though the two of you weren't touching, you felt like he was pulling you towards him.

The way he was looking at you made you wish he could stay with you all day and keep looking at you like that. You could tell he wanted the same but reality became a problem.

Because in reality both of you were adults who were busy with work, diplomacy, money, and madly in love but still far away from reaching your happy ending.

"Well, I suppose I should get going now." He said, breaking eye contact. "Y-yes. Your tie isn't too tight, is it?" You asked him. "No. It is perfect. Much like a lot of other things in my life..." He spoke. He was thinking of how lucky he was to have you when he said that.

"Right, let me see you off then." You told him and he nodded, following you to the door. "One more thing..." You said and you turned to look at him as you raised your hand to his perfect jaw and cupped his cheek.

You would think he'd be surprised but he wasn't, instead, he brought up his hand and placed it on top of yours, leaning into your touch. "Next time you miss me, just let me know. Don't make excuses." You said and chuckled.

That made Zhongli a little flustered. You took your hand back. He sighed because he realised that he really had to leave.

He stepped out of the door but then turned around to ask you something, "Love, if you're not busy today I was thinking I would buy us dinner and then take you up to Mount Aocang to watch the stars." He suggested.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm looking forward to it." You smiled at him and he left smiling as well. He was reminded throughout the day that when your job has you deal with dead people, you shouldn't smile very much.

Kaeya

You two had known each other for ages and knew everything about each other. It was amazing how you could tolerate him.

All of Mondstadt had given up trying to understand the psyche of the cavalry captain of the knights of Favonius. It was like you could read him like a book.

But there was one thing that you did not know. Kaeya was deeply and madly in love with you. Now that, was something all of Mondstadt knew.

As a matter of fact, you guys were a topic of hot gossip. Who doesn't love a good ol' childhood friends and co-workers falling for each other troupe?

Who would've thought that behind his constant flirting was actually something deeper.

Kaeya got the idea from one time that he injured himself fighting a Mirror maiden. A piece of glass had pierced the skin around a part of his torso and it was bleeding. As soon as you saw the red colour on his clothes you left all your work and got up to dress his wound. He insisted it didn't hurt very much but you could tell he was lying.

"Take off your shirt." You told him. "I'm sorry, what?" He asked, confused for a second. "Take off your shirt and the 5 other layers of clothing and let me dress your goddamn wound, Alberich." You hissed at him.

"My, my. Very eager for me to take off my shirt, aren't we? What exactly do you have in mind?" He smirked. "This is not the time." You growled at him and he slowly took off his shirt.

If it was some other situation where he had been required to showcase his beautiful torso, you would've liked it. However, in this situation, all you could think was about how bad it must be hurting him.

You quickly dressed his wound as first aid and then took him to see Barbara. The entire time you were close to him, Kaeya had to control himself to not confess his love to you and hold you in his arms.

He liked how close you had to be to give him first-aid. So, from that day most of the time, he went on patrol and came back injured somehow. It was mostly a minor injury but you still cleaned it up. Every time.

Then one day he came back with a cut on his forehead. "Hey dove, look who's back." He said in a singsong voice to annoy you. He was leaning against the doorframe of your office.

"Come sit." You sighed as you looked up at him. He obediently sat down in a chair in the far corner. You took the first aid box and went over to him.

"Kaeya be honest... Have you been drinking too much again? Or are you overworking yourself?" You asked him, cleaning the blood off of his wound. "No. Why would you ask that?" He asked you, wincing a little.

"I don't know, you've been getting injured a lot more than you ever have." You sighed. "Well, that's because... Maybe in the back of my mind, I have always known you'd be there for me if anything ever happened so I'm getting more relaxed." He gave his theory and that's when you knew.

"Wait a minute. Have you been doing this on purpose?" You asked him, boiling with rage and you stopped treating his wound. "I can explain." He said, getting up from the chair and backing away, holding his hands up as if he was surrendering himself.

"I'm not in the mood for your stupidity Kaeya. I don't want to know what could possibly be more important to you than your safety and health." You were livid at this point and honestly, anyone would be.

"The reason I did this is more important to me. You'll see it too once I explain it but you won't let me talk. This is no way to conclude now, is it?" He said.

"Don't you dare be cocky with me." You told him, picking up the dagger on your table and unsheathing it. "Whoa whoa! Put the dagger down and let me explain! Please!" He said and backed away even further.

"Go ahead, I'm listening." You kept the dagger back and crossed your arms in front of you as you waited for an explanation. "I really like it when you're close to me and touch me and take care of me." He said. "That's it?" You asked. "Well, yeah." He shrugged.

"When will you stop flirting and actually tell me the truth? Sometimes you should take things seriously." You told him, picking the dagger back up. "I am serious." He said with a frown.

"What?" You were confused. Kaeya, who you knew since childhood liked being close to you? Like that? And he meant it genuinely? Because you could tell he wasn't lying.

You slowly kept the dagger back. "But that would mean-" You started speaking. "That I am not lying or flirting this time when I say that I lo- like you." He said.

"Well, now that I think about it I guess I like you too." You told him. "Guess?" He raised an eyebrow. "Well, I mean do like you but I also hate you." You corrected your statement. "Understandable." Kaeya nodded his head.

"Cool. Guess we're lovers now." Kaeya then stated. It felt good to say it out loud.

"So that means you're okay, right?" You asked him. "Yeah. I'm sorry if I worried you but I'm perfectly fine." He came over to you and hugged you. "Good to know." You said and then pulled his collar to get his face closer to yours.

"Run." You whispered but the tone made it very clear as a warning. And knowing you, Kaeya did run. He ran for his life.

Childe

He knew you because of Fatui connections. You weren't a harbinger, but you were a very high ranking officer of the Fatui, who got where they were because of hard work.

The first time you had met Childe, was the day he became a harbinger. It was a formal dinner attended by all Fatui diplomats in Shneznaya where you met him. As soon as you saw him you knew he was trouble.

"Hi, my name's Tartaglia. A pleasure to meet ya." He introduced himself to you, seemingly friendlier than the other harbingers you had ever talked to. "You must be new here... The Fatui don't greet each other so informally and I suggest you remember that before you get into any trouble with the Tsaritsa." You told him.

"Well, I'm not exactly new but my previous duties didn't require me to interact with people. So thank you for telling me that. You seem cool." He said with a smile. "Again, not so informal." You reminded him. "Yeah, whatever. So... You wanna fight?" He asked you.

"I beg your pardon." You almost choked on the drink you were having when he said that. "I said wanna fight? Fight as in spar." He asked you again.

"Oh I heard you the first time, I just cannot believe how anyone could be this... Clueless. And I know what a fight is." You said, your face showing your disapproval towards his behaviour.

"Hey look, you have a cryo vision. Damn you'd have an advantage over me. Still don't wanna fight? Fine, I'll go easy on you." He told you.

"No." You said and turned away without any further explanations or arguments. "Remember my name though, I go by Tartaglia and my alias is Childe. I'll see you again... Person who did not tell me their name." He shouted out loud, earning a glare from a certain short, violet haired harbinger.

The next day you were walking in the huge Zapolyarny palace because you had been summoned by the First Harbinger and had to go see them. "Well, well, well." A rather familiar voice said.

Childe that idiot... "Good morning, 11th Harbinger. How is your day going?" You asked him because of formalities. "It's going great. Do you know what would make it better? A fight against you." He said.

"Why me?" You asked him. Honestly, you were curious. "Because you have a cryo vision." He answered. "Well, Signora has a cryo delusion which I'm sure is a lot better than my stupid little vision." You told him.

"I thought you couldn't call harbingers by their names?" He smirked as he caught you. "Well, she's different. She and I get along well." You made up an excuse.

"Weird. Cause she seems like the person who'd like being called by her title." He snorted. "She does like it. When others do that. Also, if you have nothing else to say I must take your leave." You bowed slightly and left as quick as you could.

You were trying to avoid talking to him at all because it would get you into a lot of trouble if you punched a harbinger in the face and he made it very difficult not to.

The next day you were signing paperwork in your office and making plans on how to distribute the fatui workforce in a way in which would be most efficient.

Someone knocked on your door. "Come in." You answered without looking up. "Hello dear, did you miss me?" A rather familiar voice said. You closed your eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled even more deeply knowing who you had to deal with.

You stood up, "11th Harbinger. How may I help you?" You asked him. He did rank above you. "Still calling me that? Okay. As for what you could do to help me-" He was saying when you cut him off, "I will not fight you. Also, how did you find me? I never told you my name."

"Well, you're no fun." He sighed and waddled into your office, taking a seat in front of your desk without being asked to. You felt the urge to punch him again.

"As to why I know your name, I have connections." He told you. "I figured." You said and slowly took a seat too.

"I was asking what I could help you with." You reminded him. "Right. I need the information on how many people we need in all lands across tevyat and how many we're short on. The Tsaritsa put me to the case." He said.

"Oh. You actually want to work. I'll take out the files in a minute, please excuse me." You thought out loud and got up from your desk to look for the files on the shelves on the right side of the room.

"Ah. Found them!" You said and went back to your desk with a couple of files in hand. "Great. Let's get to it then." Childe said and you both began discussing the agendas.

When you were working, you almost forgot childe annoyed you. You came to know that there was an intelligent, smart and determined man behind the mask of a stupid, impulsive and thick-skinned man. You were both discussing the plans and forgot all about the time.

"Dear archons! It's way past lunchtime." Childe suddenly noticed as he looked at the wall clock on the left side of the room. "Oh, I didn't even notice." You said.

"Well, I guess we'll take a break and then meet each other here back in an hour." You proposed. "Or we could discuss more things over lunch so that it saves us more time." He suggested. "Alright..." You agreed.

He took you to a nearby place which was famous for its replication of foreign cuisine. You both ordered what you wanted.

"So, lastly, the situation in Liyue needs to be taken care of. With the rite of descension coming close we need more representatives there. I myself will be transferring there temporarily. Surely that would increase efficiency." You said as you took a bite out of the Mondstadt hash brown that you were eating.

"Wait- you're going to Liyue?" Childe asked you. "Yes. And as much as I wanted to avoid this situation, it seems like we need a harbinger there. I was thinking the 5th harbinger-" you were speaking as you were cut off.

"There's no need for that. And go back to your office after you finish. I have something that I must take care of." He told you, got up and left. "What a weirdo..." You mumbled as you finished your food.

You reached back to your office and began working on the plans again. A knock on your door was heard again. "Hey. Guess who doesn't have to worry about someone being transferred to Liyue now," Childe said as he entered in.

"Why? What happened?" You asked him as he took a seat. "I have been assigned to go to Liyue as well. An order given out by the Tsaritsa herself. Here take a look." He told you and passed a document your way.

"Wow. This seems legitimate. And as much as I would hate to say this, you do seem capable enough to help me handle the situation there." You said as you read the paper.

"Is that a good thing?" He asked you. "Yes." You answered. "Oh, and pack your bags. We leave in 2 days." You told him. "Sure," Childe said in a singsong voice.

Over the next few days, you and Childe had formed a rather unexpected friendship. You didn't hate around being him all that much and his constant attempts to get you to fight him became something that you just didn't bother about.

In Liyue you both had to eat a lot of lunches and dinners together to discuss things. You had started calling him by his name too! Well, his alias anyway.

"Hey Childe, pass me that pen please." You told him when you were reading a document from the Northland bank. He thought of being happy about it or pointing it out to you but he also realised that doing so would ruin the moment.

Some days you would work together, some days you would make trade contracts together and some days you just... Hung out. As surprising as it was, you stopped finding Childe utterly repulsive and ridiculously stupid.

"Hey, why aren't you a harbinger?" Childe asked you one day when you were both skipping rocks in a lake. "Well, I'm not very good at handling my weapon... It wasn't always like that but one day I accidentally hurt someone very dear to me. That day I lost all confidence in myself." You told him your story.

"What weapon?" He asked you. In return, you took his bow and formed a cryo arrow. You took a stance and aimed at an apple. You slowly pulled back the string and then released it. The arrow missed the apple by a very long distance.

"Bow." You sighed. "Well well well, it so happens that I, Tartaglia am an expert at handling a bow." He boasted. "Your point." You rolled your eyes. "I'm gonna teach ya." He said. "Cool," You said without thinking. "Wait- what?" You said once the realisation hit you.

The next day, you were there in a training field. "I don't wanna be here..." You told childe, loud and clear. "Then fight me." He said. "You- you little- gah! I hate you." You hissed at him. "Oh no. I am hurt... So hurt." Childe fake sniffed a little.

"If you've finished whining should we start?" He then asked you. "I'm not whi-" You were saying when you were cut off by Childe moving closer to you and shushing you with his finger on your lips.

For a few seconds, you were too flustered to react. "I want to help you become stronger... So that I can always know that you'll be okay. That you'll be safe." He said with all seriousness in his eyes.

"Get your finger away from me." You said and swatted his hand away. "And whether or not I'm safe is none of your concern." You told him, but looked away immediately because looking at him now felt weird for some reason.

"Well, as a friend it is my concern." He spoke calmly. And then you noticed something. When he was serious and thinking, he looked amazing. You couldn't help but look at him. Then you felt a sharp but mild pain in your chest.

"Let's just get this over with please..." You told him. "Right, so now what I need you to do is take a stance with your bow." He instructed and you took a stance.

"Oh, we have a lot of work to do." He snorted. "Gee. Thanks." You rolled your eyes at his comment. "Let me fix your stance." He said and stood behind you giving instructions.

"Your hand should be a little higher than that." He said.

"Like this?" You asked him.

"No!" He replied.

"Then like this?" You asked him again.

"Worse than before." He sighed.

"Then like-" You were asking when he cut you off. "This isn't working out." He announced. You relaxed from your stance. "Then what do you want me to do?" You asked him.

"Stance. Again." He said. You took your stance again. "Permission to touch you, your highness?" He asked you. "Yeah. Whatever." You replied.

Then he came closer to you. He slowly slid his hands to your elbow gently touching it and moving it. Then he fixed your hold on the bow. His chest was pressed against your back and you could feel his breath on your neck.

You shouldn't have been enjoying that so much. You also wanted the time to stop like that forever. His heartbeat was in sync with yours and you wished you could be this close to him all the time. You didn't know when exactly you started feeling like that, but you were fine with it.

"Now pull the arrow back." He instructed and you followed. "Release." He said and you let go of the arrow. It hit right in the middle of the target. "See? With practice, you'll get there." He told you. One of his hands was still on your back and the other one on your elbow.

"Yeah. Yeah. Whatever." You said, your voice a little thinner than it usually was. "So, let's take it from the top once more?" He said and you nodded.

In 3 days you were able to hit a bullseye on a still Target from the maximum reach your bow and arrow could offer.

Childe was very happy about that. He had started working on his plan. The plan was to spend as much time as possible with you till you eventually fell in love with him. He thought it was genius.

It took you another two to get used to the moving targets. For the first week with the targets, you kept freezing and panicking as you saw them. It reminded you of what had gone wrong and how it almost cost somebody their life.

Childe helped you through all of it by talking to you, taking breaks with you and suggesting to you ways in which you could imagine the target that would not trouble you. This was not helping you move on from your feelings about him.

In the second week of training with moving targets, you started hitting closer and closer to the middle of the target and every shot hit the target. But you were still unable to land what would be a critical hit to a real target.

"This should've worked by now." Childe sighed as you aimed on the target for the millionth time that day. "Why isn't it?" You asked him. "I'm not sure... Your stance is great, your focus is great and your timing is perfect." He said.

"Let's take a break, shall we?" He said and gave you his hand to lead you away from the training arena. You gladly took his hand. You both sat down together for a while and Childe was telling you about the latest letter Teucer had sent him and how much he would love you.

A while later you both decided to go back to train. "Now what?" You asked him. "I think you should think a little less." He said. "What does that mean?" You frowned in confusion. "Just don't think that you want to hit the target. Just release the arrow when you feel it's right and then we'll see." He instructed.

"Doesn't make much sense but alright." You said and then took your stance. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath and aimed at the target. You forgot all about aiming and wind and accuracy and just waited. Then suddenly you felt a jolt through your body and released the arrow.

"You did it." Childe gasped. "I did it..." You repeated after him, seeing that the target was hit. Then before you could stop yourself you went over to Childe and leapt into his arms. Luckily he caught you. "I finally did it!" You cheered. "I always knew you could." He said and gently released you from the hug.

Your arms were on his shoulders and his hands were on your back. Your beautiful eyes were staring into his romantic ones. "So... Celebratory dinner? On me?" He suggested, not breaking the eye contact. "Sure." You agreed, also not wanting to stop looking at him.

"So should we go now?" You asked him. "In a while." He said and gently brushed one of his fingers on your cheek. "Okay." You chuckled.

"Also, there's this thing I was wondering that you could do for me, now that you've finally grasped how your weapon works again." He said. "What is it?" You gasped because of how fast your heart was beating.

"Fight me."

(a/n): this is the first genshin fic that I've done. Hope it was a good read. Comments, likes and reblogs are much appreciated.

[fangirlovestuff]

hello, leilaaaa, congratulations again!!

can i ask for 🌷?? hehe the word is querencia (like the context is a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home) and the character is chris evans

thank you so much!!! <33

a/n - hello again my dear!! i'm sorry you had to wait a bit for this drabble, but i hope you like it!! i didn't know of this word before, so thank you for introducing it to me as it's really beautiful, and tysm for joining the celebration!! enjoy<3

You were never too keen on moving in with others. Not when you went to college, and not after that, even when you've been in serious relationships, it was a step you just never wanted to rush into. 

Your home's been your safe space, your comfort zone, and you just didn't want to give it up so soon. Plus, you never slept as good as you did in your own bed. 

So when the first time you woke up at Chris' you woke up refreshed, you were pleasantly surprised up until you realized you were in an empty bed. 

Frowning, you left the bedroom, trying to figure out where could he be, until you heard faint sounds coming from the kitchen, which took you a minute to identify as a Queen song coming from both a speaker and a certain someone's mouth. 

When you entered the kitchen to find Chris cooking breakfast, all your previous worry dissipated as you joined him to dance around the kitchen. 

That night, you'd accidentally left your phone charger at his place, so he brought it with him the next time he saw you. 

You apologized, saying you usually weren't that forgetful. And it was true, you weren't, but you could see why after a while he started to doubt you, seeing as you'd developed a habit of doing so almost every time you spent the night at his. 

The first few times he kind of teased you for it, you were mortified. Does he think you were doing it for attention? to force him to see you again? does he just think you're forgetful or irresponsible?

Were you just irresponsible after all?

After a while of self-questioning, you couldn't figure out why this kept happening. You truly weren't one to lose or misplace things, so why did this keep happening with him?

You got your answer when you were visiting him on one of his sets, about half a year into your relationship. You'd both been watching a movie, with you cuddled up to his side, and the next thing you knew it was morning and you woke up from his alarm. 

"What time is it?" you asked groggily.

"7 am. You can keep sleeping though, you clearly need it after you fell asleep on me last night," Chris chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder before you felt the weight of him leaving the bed. You'd wanted to apologize, to say you'd get up with him, but the familiar smell of the warm covers lulled you right back to sleep.

That time, you'd forgotten your toothbrush there, as Chris so graciously texted you, attaching a photo of him holding it dangerously close to the bathroom. 

don't you dare!!!!!! you quickly texted back, a smile spreading on your face as you sat at the airport. 

And then it hit you. That was the thing, wasn't it? 

You kept forgetting things wherever Chris was because being with him always felt like being home. Yes, you needed your time to recharge, but being with Chris never made you feel drained, it made you feel stronger. It made you feel safe enough to fall asleep and not overthink your texts and, yes, subconsciously trust him enough to leave your stuff with him. Because you loved him, and being with him was being home. 

It was probably too early to tell him all of that, but you couldn't resist shooting him another text. 

miss you already<3

His answer didn't take long to come through. 

sap. only a month till i'm home:)

[asimpletroll]

(A) (M) Chisaki Kai X (O) (F) Reader

You?

You were the Omega who had been stinking up his base for the last month?

YOU?

"-so sorry, so so sorry, I didn't see you, I was looking for Eri, Rappa startled her again, I swear I didn't mean to bump you-" You babble at Chisaki, close to your heat and scared of every Alpha in the base at the moment. You don't realize how his eyes have zeroed in on you, you're too busy cowering against the wall, trying to apologize and make sure he doesn't hit you, or worse.

"Be quiet." You immediately shut up, your throat feeling constricted even though he didn't use his Alpha tone or his Quirk on you, you look at him with watering (e/c) orbs as he strides over, taking off his coat slowly. "Your slick is dripping. I'll have someone else look for Eri, you need to get to your nest."

"...I...I live in the barracks, I-I can't-"

"Then come with me." He wraps an arm around you with care he never uses, making sure to keep his coat (you're so small it drops nearly to your knees, and Chisaki is swooning on the inside at how cute you look) between the two of you and wrapped securely around you so that no one else sees your current...predicament.

Chisaki notices your fear increasing, almost every step towards his private wing making you pump out more and more fear in your scent.

Normally, he can't even smell you, which is mildly disappointing to him because you smell citrus-y and a little sweet, but it was always very subtle and clean.

Now, all he could smell was your fear, and the urge to hole you away from everyone and everything was making him very twitchy as he opens the door to his wing.

You instinctively pause upon the threshold, your Omega screaming that this means this Alpha likes you, that it was time to Mate. Chisaki waits for you patiently, knowing the battle you're fighting and being fascinated by the micro-expressions racing through you. Your pupils twitch slightly in every which way, your ears perk and shift a little with noises, and your nose wrinkles a little (like the bunny he had as a child would) as you get particularly stressed.

"I cannot find you someplace comfortable if we loiter for much longer." He finally speaks up and tells you, you flinch a little, but follow his unmentioned command of 'hurry up' and almost bump into him again as he closes the door.

As soon as it shuts, lights flick on, and this time he gently wraps an arm around your waist as you spook. He gently lets you recover from your heart attack adjust to his touch, then guides you past several rooms that reek of other Alphas to you, and the locks on the door along with how reinforced they are tell you all you need to know about what might be in those rooms.

"I am unfamiliar with creating a space for a Heat, but I understand you require lots of blankets and soft things?" Chisaki asks you lowly, he spots the tiny hairs on the back of your neck rising, and your own scent smells sweeter, even with the fear overlaying it.

"Yes." You whisper, and try to hide (due to his lack of comment, you guess you hide it) the fact that you get mildly horny at just his voice.

Chisaki is amused by this, mostly by the fact that your entire face had turned red and was a very clear indicator of your dilemma to him.

"Why are you so afraid, Omega?" He asks you conversationally, as if he had by total and complete accident of course not dropped his voice several octaves just fool with you. You repress a shiver, and he grins under his mask, a very feral and smug grin, as he gently inhales your sweetened scent a bit more.

"M-My parents...they didn't...didn't want an Omega...didn't want me...so they would destroy my nests...even before I was revealed to be Quirkless..." You murmur quietly, timidly almost, to him, and he feels himself harden at how perfect you were for him.

"Why would they do that? Children smaller than four years old require softness or they are in danger of chewing something into pieces or eating it whole." Chisaki keeps his voice low, loving how you try and repress another shiver, and your pheromones almost choke him as he tries to gently sniff them again.

If you two didn't find an appropriate area soon, he may simply take you to his den, which would be twice as dangerous for the both of you.

"I...I don't know...it was...mildly better...after my little brother was born. He was a boy, an Alpha too, and he had a Quirk." You tell him, trying to make your clenching pelvic muscles stop their ridiculousness. Chisaki is too busy rolling his eyes to notice that you're starting to hold on to his coat a little tighter to try and hide the fact that your pants are officially soaked through.

"Oh...they're those types of people..." Chisaki says, his voice the lowest yet in barely-withheld rage, and a pitched whine escapes you before you wrap a hand around the base of your throat. Chisaki almost walks into a wall in surprise, you immediately sidestep as he steadies himself.

"I'm sorry-" You immediately return to the babbling mess you were in the hall, trying to appease him when even you can tell he isn't angry, in fact, if the crinkles by his eyes are any indicator, he's smiling under his mask.

But you're scared. And horny. So you run your mouth without thinking, apologizing frantically before he gently wraps his arm around your waist, he gently tugs you close to him, you keep your eyes averted and lowered to the floor, but he removes his face mask entirely in order to kiss your forehead gently.

You clench the hand around your throat tighter as he re-places his mask back on his face, he then runs a hand through your short hair tenderly. You look up at him from under your eyebrows, your lashes dark and long and thick as they frame your gorgeous (e/c) orbs.

"You simply startled me, there is no reason to apologize." He rumbles to you, his voice much lower now as his Alpha starts to really push for some attention. He watches with amusement and arousal as you clench your legs together, the slick now dripping low enough for him to see it, even with his jacket around you. "But may I ask you something?"

"Y-Yes, sir." You squeak, Chisaki goes from hard to full-blown, raging erection, you can barely hear him inhale, a very subtle noise that doesn't quite click in your mind until he presses the two of you together.

"...have you ever had an Alpha before?" He purrs, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head and all the fear leaves you immediately as you melt into him. "I'm guessing not."

"N-None o-of them-" You squeak slightly in indignation as Chisaki plucks you up from the floor like a ragdoll, gathering you into his chest and not minding your wet and sticky slick soaking into his chest. "-None of them ever w-wanted a Q-Quirkless Omega."

Chisaki is immediately disappointed, not in you or anything about you, but at the rest of society for letting such a sweet and pure thing sink so low as him.

"They were fools then, and did not deserve you." Chisaki turns down a hall, and it's getting very hard for you to not nuzzle him. His musky, beautiful scent was everything you've ever liked, blended together in such a complex way you couldn't describe all of the unique notes and subtle tones of it. Chisaki notices you eyeing his neck and gently presses your face into it, you let out a startled, but pleasantly so, squeak, and he purrs for real this time at the adorable noise.

Your slick surges and you let out a much higher-pitched purr, leaning in against him as he opens a door quietly, the hall light flicks off and leaves you in darkness before Chisaki gently closes the door with his heel. You've buried your face in his neck, blinding yourself to the fact that Chisaki has brought you to his room, his den and haven.

At least, until his no-longer-gloved hands sneak their way under his jacket, undoing a single button on your shirt to lay themselves on your bare waist. You gasp softly in surprise, moving your face from his neck just enough to give him a startled look.

He nuzzles you, closing his eyes and leaning his back against the door as he openly relaxes, holding you close while gently fondling your slightly-chubby-but-not-noticeably waist.

"C-Chisaki?" You squeak, one of his hands immediately rolls your shirt up and off of you, you squeak again in surprise, but he tossing your shirt and his coat haphazardly onto the floor. You immediately cover your breasts, your face once again blushing strongly, and he quickly does away with his masks as well, hanging them on a hook by the door as he gently turns your face to his by tenderly grasping your chin.

"I want you, Omega. I want you, (Y/N)." He rumbles, striding forward as you turn into a flustered, slicking, horny mess in his arms. His voice is like pure sex but only the deep, tasteful, romantic parts of it.

You mewl a little as he gently places you on his bed, but he rests his arms by your head and kisses you deeply, swallowing anymore noise with tenderness and care. You forget about your embarrassment as he gently move his lips against yours, his cock straining against his pants and pressing up against your legs a bit as he leans over you.

"Do you want me also?" Chisaki murmurs to you once the two of you run out of air to suck from each other's lungs, you immediately wrap yourself around him tightly. "Do you want me like I want you, (Y/N)?"

"Yes, Chisaki, yes I want you-" You don't get another words out as he kisses you again, his hands easily finding and undoing your bra before starting on the buttons of his shirt. Once you run out of air, he starts kissing the underside of your jaw as you pant quietly, he has to pause (his frustration visible) in order to pull his shirt off. You immediately touch the intricate, but traditional tattoos on his arms, pecs, and (you're willing to bet) his back. "You're so pretty, Chisaki."

"So are you, (Y/N), you just don't have art to paw at." He purrs as he descends on you again, you happily undo his tie for him as he kisses you, and the fact that you fumble with it from the distraction of kissing is adorable to him, and he can feel a small wet patch grow do to his leaking precum. You two pause again, and he attacks your throat and neck with powerful sucks and languid swipes of his tongue as you grind your clothed sex against his.

You gasp quietly when he whips your bra across the room, but he gently fondles one breast and you turn into a melty mess again. He chuckles, happily going back to his network of hickies trailing down your throat and across your shoulder. You happily tangle your hands in his hair, pressing him against you further with soft mewls of encouragement.

"A-Alpha, stop teasing!" You finally reach your breaking point, Chisaki almost rips your dress slacks in his immediately eagerness to get them off of you, you giggle a little and he blushes, burying his face in your neck before you tempt him out with kisses to his cheekbone and nose and the tip of his ear.

Then he actually rips them, his face morphing into one of shock and embarrassment as you giggle loudly and nuzzle him. He mumbles a hasty apology before eagerly pulling them off you, taking your panties with and tossing the mess by the foot of the bed before crawling up your body and trailing lazy kisses up from your bellybutton.

"Why are your pants still on?" You tease, kissing his nose before he can reply, he nips your bottom lip playfully, stilling feeling you up as you squirm gently.

"So impatient, (Y/N)." He teases right back, gently tugging on one of your nipples, you steal another kiss from him as he other hand (that is not forming a bruise on your nipple, not at all, no siree) trails down and teasingly circles your puffy little clit. You gasp in surprise, and Chisaki happily presses forward and slips his tongue and one finger into you at the same time. You melt into a happy, horny, submissive puddle under him, causing him to let out a deep and rumbling purr as he explores your mouth with fervent heat and dominance.

He gently explores your opening too, feeling you flutter around that single digit and getting painfully hard in his pants as he stretches you around a second finger. Your slick makes it easier, but it's still painfully obvious that you are still new at this. (So is Chisaki, but he's hoping you're too horny and heat-addled to realize this.)

You eagerly spread your legs a little, beyond ready for this part as your fingers once again find their way into Chisaki's well-kept hair and tangling it. You moan as his two fingers start to gently stretch you, you can feel Chisaki smile into the kiss a little before it goes from 'romantic exploring' into a creature of teeth and tongue and lots of purring from you both.

Unfortunately, Chisaki knows that you still need prepping, and as much as he enjoys the savage kiss, he separates to let you breathe and whimper and mewl as he continues to stretch you. (Both of you think this is taking a while, but this hasn't even been ten minutes since your butt hit his mattress.)

You surprise him when you nip his ear, but he happily turns your head and sucks on the tender skin underneath one of yours, returning you to the panting, mewling puddle. Your slick has surged so many times, his entire hand is covered up to his wrist, and he hasn't even gotten knuckle-deep yet.

"Such a messy Omega, (Y/N), look at what your naughty cunt has done to my hand." Chisaki purrs absolute filth into your ear, and your eyes roll slightly as you let out a porn star-worthy moan, his hips grind up against you exposed inner thigh roughly as he lets out a possessive growl. "Tell me, my messy Omega, who's making you so wet?"

"You, Chisaki, you are, Alpha!" You mewl, he slips a third finger in, starting to actually move deeper into you as you moan again, he happily continues to dirty-talk in your ear, telling you that this would have happened a lot sooner if you had told him that you were an Omega, he would have gladly bent his little nanny over his desk anytime. Or maybe he should've made you Present yourself to him, without any pesky suppressants to quell your scent, then he would've seen what a messy little cunt that hide itself in such a clean, proper suit would've been capable of.

Or maybe he should open the door, let the entire base hear you get railed.

You dissolve under him, not realizing that he's dissolving right with you, pulling his head closer to you as he finally extracts his fingers and simply Overhauls the rest of his clothes off. (Speaking of, where are your shoes? You swore you had them on in the hall, but your feet are bare now.)

"(Y/N), this may sting." Chisaki whispers into your ear, his head nudging your entrance gently, you tuck your face into his neck tightly, but you aren't afraid, simply nervous.

It does sting, but only enough to make you gasp a little, and that gasp is mostly from shock at Chisaki's sheer size. His girth and length were both big, and while he knows you've never had an Alpha before, this still made his already huge ego blimp.

"Chisaki, Alpha, you're huge." You pant into his neck, he struggles to fit himself into you, and you can feel the veins throbbing against your walls as he slowly sinks in, inch by inch, and you mewl once he reaches your G-spot. You pant against his skin as he slowly bottoms out in you, you can feel him twitching inside of you, but you were seeing stars anyway. "A-Alpha-"

"Sh, (Y/N), you need to adjust, Omega." He purrs into your ear, but his cock twitches strongly inside you at the thought of wrecking you severely, to where no man or Alpha could ever satisfy you again. "You're like a vice, Omega, you're squeezing me so tightly. What will happen when I blow my knot, hm? You're so small, I could break you in half with it."

You let out a sinful noise that Chisaki can barely recognize as an orgasm as you sink your teeth into his neck a little. You wrap your legs around his slim waist, anchoring him to you as your walls try to milk him through your orgasm.

"I can't wait for that sound to be my name, to hear you scream so hard the walls rattle-" This kick-starts his dirty-talk again as you slowly calm down, occasionally he shifts his hips, stimulating you just enough for you to know he's teasing you again. You actually clamp down on him and he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan that could make millions, and he slowly grinds against you.

"Naughty Omega, you naughty, naughty Omega." He rumbles from your shoulder, you pant happily in his ear, every deep, slow roll of his hip making you see stars all over again. "I should punish you for that, you naughty thing."

"Then punish me." You pant in his ear, the lick up the shell of it as he groans again, pushing a little harder against you this roll, "Punish me Alpha, make me regret teasing you."

Chisaki rumbles, he drags his hips out, and you expect another languid roll that hits all the right places, but he slams into you like a bullet-train instead.

You try to gasp in surprise, but he smirks against you skin, and that is the only warning you have before he starts pistoning his hips into yours at barely-human speeds.

"Gladly, Omega."

~

You open your eyes, sprawled out across Ch-Kai's chest, your face nuzzled under his chin softly as he continues to sleep while fully sheathed in you. You blink slowly and lazily a few times, trying to remember what day it is, and yawn quietly as you ponder. Kai shifts under you slightly as he stirs, you gently press your face back into the comfortable position you two had.

"How long have you been awake, (Y/N)?" He purrs at you, gently nuzzling you back as you yawn quietly against his throat. "Not long, sleepy-head?"

"Of course not, or I would've brought food." You sit up a little, your fresh Mating Mark stinging slightly as part of the coverlet falls off that shoulder. Kai gently licks it, you hum and kiss the side of his face gently. "If my math is right, today is Kurono's turn to make breakfast, he usually does something simple, like Omurice."

"Yes, but breakfast requires getting out of bed." Kai mutters, gently pulling you back down on his chest, you muffle a laugh at him as he settles his chin on the top of your head. "What? Eri was right when she called you the perfect cuddle-partner, as it turns out."

[antiloreolympus]

5 Anti LO Asks

1. 191 spoilers: so Hebe basically grew into Hera 2.0, Persephone basically said nothing was her fault when a lot of it really was her fault, she thinks her green hands are a turn off (can she stop being hypersexual for one minute please), and she lives in a treehouse now??

What the fuck happened in that four month hiatus, seriously

2. Reading episode 191 was somehow rage-inducing and depressing at the same time.

We're still on the "Persephone did nothing wrong and shouldn't be punished"-train. Everyone, including the narrative, gives Zeus crap for doing what every sensible authority figure in his stead would have done. We're somehow supposed to pity Persephone for....being sent to a safe environment with supportive friends to clean up the mess she made and refused to fess up about until literally being forced too.

Like jfc Peresphone isn't even doing any work??? The first time we see her she's creepily hitting on an inanimate object and hiding away from her responsibilities??? The bare fucking minimum and she's too lazy and self-absorbed to do even that???

Oh, and we get zero news about how Demeter's feeling or doing meanwhile, because who gives a shit about her, she was just there in the first place to be an obstacle for hxp to overcome.

3. How come nobody's eyebrows are ever normal in LO. Why are they always pitch black blobs

4. The new chapter is just confusing . Hebe is a Hera clone. Like I was literally so confused why Zeus and Hera would on decent terms. I get she’s older to show time has passed, so why right now is Zeus thinking Persephone? What’s special about today? She still hasn’t done any of her tasks, so why after so long would we even question it?

Flash back to the trial: I’m sorta confused what the importance was to the freak out. Are they freaking out because they can’t go to the mortal realm, losing Demeter to a less qualified goddess to handle her job, or as Poseidon puts it “you lost the closest thing to the queen of the underworld” (are we forgetting that hades planned on proposing to Minthe but never got the chance)

Persephone: “hey guys I’ve been banished for a long ass time, but at least my ears as pierced am I right??”   I also hate how she goes “some of it’s my fault but not all of it.” She’s had 0 growth I feel, she killed a bunch of people and she’s more focused on the whole “well if my mom was just cool about my fertility powers/if I was just zeus’ kid he would have let me off the hook”

Is that nymph Daphne? Persephone was able to save her tree form but not Minthe? Or is Persephone just choosing not to save Minthe as a whole “I don’t need to help out the people who’ve hurt me” idk

Artemis, Thanatos, Eris: aren’t they not allowed to see Persephone or have any contact with her or they’d be heavily punished.

Why is Helios there? He’s been pretty indifferent about Persephone.

Prediction: the next couple chapters is gonna be a failed meeting with Zeus and then a flash back catching everyone up to speed, but it’s gonna take so long at first to get there.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

5. Okay so I read the new chapters bc why not and tbh I was pleasantly surprised with how the characters were drawn in the premiere. Idk but they felt like they had more time put into them and their hands especially were really nice and looked like they came from a reference. That all changed in the next chapters tho ofc.:/

Fast Past Spoiler:

The time skip in itself is not bad, but oh my god it feels like none of the characters have actually changed except Artemis’ relationship with Zeus. Like they’re all the same characters just grown up a bit, but only characters like hebe actually show that. And of course everyone is so up in arms over Persephones punishment. I can get why Hades would be mad and why Poseidon would be upset because his brother won’t talk to him anymore, but everyone else is wayyy too upset over some random girl. Like everyone but Artemis hates Zeus rn and EVERYONE loves Persephone. And god the whole Minthe and Daphne thing? The point of their stories were that they were the victims of a tragic circumstance. In the case of Minthe, because of her own doing, and Daphne, because of Apollo. It’s like there are no consequences for anyone who Persephone likes. Daphne and Minthe should’ve stayed as plants. It would be the end of their stories and would equate to actual loss for Persephone. I see Rachel hasn’t gotten any better at writing. So much wasted potential to turn the story into a chance for growth in both the characters and writing. The only thing I liked out of the four new episodes was the touching moment between Zeus and Artemis. Why has their relationship grown  and changed but no one else’s? This story feels more about Zeus and his actions and consequences and growth than Persephones tbh.

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳it's good to see you again ♡ ☾

in which y/n l/n comes home from a 2 year long mission to subdue the rest of the escaped death eaters and meets her best friend, fred weasley, yet again.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±1.5k

tw: mentions of scars, nightmares, mentions of the war

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ft. angelina and george

it's been a long day without you, my friend

and i'll tell you all about it when i see you again

it's good to see you again

y/n was sitting comfortably in the backseat of george's fancy car, earphones plugged in and listening to a song to drown out the sound of angelina and george talking about something they had seen on the news. her head was leaning against the window, her eyes drinking in the familiar view of london in nostalgia. it hurt her that she wasn't the only person who would see the beautiful city she'd known from the very beginning. and she missed it. angelina and george had picked her up from the quarantine centre after she had made a trip to albania for a couple of years with the rest of her auror unit to imprison the remaining death eaters. albania had recently acquired many cases of dragonpox, and so all the unit members had to isolate in a little hotel by the edge of italy. it had been a few weeks since the start of the quarantine and now she was zooming along a british highway, ever so keen to see her friends and family again. and fred. fred was her best friend. they had been since 5th year. perhaps she was harbouring feelings for him, perhaps she wasn't. and here she sat, curled up and watching the views, trying to decipher whether or not he'd be different. he had survived the war just barely. it would be acceptable for him to change. did he still have the millions of freckles dotted along his face? her face flushed just thinking about it. bringing her hands up to her cheeks she shook her head. chile, y/n, he probably has a girlfriend. it's been two years, and he didn't like you two years ago, he won't like you now. the thought alone made her frown. "what's got you blushing and frowning like mad?" angelina looked at her through the mirror in the front of the car. george whispered something in her ear and she giggled. "y/n, is this possibly about a certain fred weasley?" her eyes widened. "nope, not at all." "really? so you were definitely not thinking about the amount of freckles my twin has on his face? hmm?" "no! george, seriously?" she stuck my tongue out at him. "or his ginger hair?" angelina added. "no! you guys are idiots!" she folded her arms. "and she's blushing again," angelina sniggered. "stop!" "it's okay, he blushes about you way more," george laughed, eyes on the road. "stop, stop, stop!!!!!" "it is true." "no it isn't, okay? erm, i don't like him, he doesn't like me. we're best friends. you guys are gross." she resumed looking out the window, shaking her head. they had reached a pretty big house with two levels, with large windows that y/n would absolutely die to have and cute little bricks sticking out. "what? i thought we were going back to my parent's house?" "you wish." "who are we visiting?" "oh just a person i know from work," angelina said with a twinkle in her eyes. "okay. did we bring anything?" "just you," she replied, "me and george are heading back to our place. your stuffs at your parents." george nodded. y/n frowned, "okay." she bounded up to the door and knocked a couple of times. the door opened and she immediately began babbling off a greeting and an introduction without looking at the person. "i'm y/n l/n, and i understand you're from angie's work! it's nice to meet yo-" her eyes were met by chocolate brown ones, framed by so many freckles. fred lived in this place? "it's good to see you again, miss y/n l/n," he grinned and oh my oh my, y/n felt her heart skipping beats all over again. fred was worried when there was silence, but he was pleasantly surprised when he felt arms wrap as much as they could around his waist. true to his nature, his cheeks turned as red as his hair. he breathed in the smell of her hair, the smell of her and oh he had missed her so much. "i missed you a lot," he mumbled, tightening his grip around her, "so so so so so much." "me too, freddie," there that nickname was, and it made him possibly weak at how pretty she was and how pretty her voice was. when she let go, he almost felt empty, and so he snaked an arm around her waist. "your place is so beautiful, freddie!" his secret was that he had bought it hoping that she would

live with him. he knew she loved beautiful windows and bay windows and balconies. "not as beautiful as you, lovely." and his eyes were graced by her flustered expression, her cheeks tinted the most delightful shade of pink. "but the windows! gosh they're pretty." "wanna live with me?" he dropped the question ever so casually. "are you sure? i've got an apartment set up and all so it's no big deal-" "no. i want you to live with me." "then your wish is my command, i guess. i don't have much stuff though." "that's fine! i knew you would say yes so i got a bedroom ready for you." she hesitated. fred looked at her. "is everything okay?" "i-i don't want you to think that i'm best friends with you because you're rich or whatever and i feel like i'm taking advantage of your richness and it's not right?" "you're not, okay?" she nodded, still hesitating a little bit. "if you really feel bad you can come visit me and george in the shop and do some type of customer service. you'll be paid." "am i paying rent if i live here?" she asked. "no, y/n, i own this place." "don't you pay land tax?" "yeah, but it's not that much." "nope, i'm paying rent or you're not paying me for the shifts i do. or both. take your pick." "i won't pay you for the shifts. is this really a big deal?" "yes it is! it's money and morals. that's a very big deal." "okay, fair." "gimme a list of all my shifts please." "nah, you pop in whenever you can." "okay, when's rush hour?" "hogsmeade weekends and thursdays." ☆ it was night. y/n couldn't sleep at all. she was lying in the insanely boujee king sized bed and the insanely comfortable sheets, and she still couldn't fathom why she couldn't sleep. maybe it was because she always slept with one eye open in albania. habit. so she was just sitting in her bed, looking around the room. she was tired, but she couldn't be untired. and it would be selfish to disturb fred. but he had said his door was always open. so she crept out and made her way through the corridors, finally stopping at a door which she hoped was fred's bedroom. it was half ajar, so she peeked her head around it. he was asleep, a very thin blanket draped carelessly around his body, his ginger hair messy and his chest rising with every peaceful breath he took. his room was big and simple, cluttered in the most fred way. she approached him, tapping him on the shoulder lightly. "freddie??" he opened his eyes drowsily, "mmm?" "i can't sleep." "'ave you tried countin' broomst'cks?" "i can't sleep." "'kay," he pulled her into his bed, wrapping his arms around y/n and tucking most of the gryffindor red blanket under her chin. it smelled like him, "this 'kay?" fred was shirtless. y/n was blushing. "yeah." "mm, have a good night, okay? i'm here, you're safe." y/n nodded, feeling the most comfortable she had in two whole years, cuddling up to his chest as she fell into sleep. sleep. she hadn't properly slept in two whole years. every night would be spent either patrolling or anxiously preparing for the next day. when she did get some shut-eye, it was broken and restless. but her dreams were stopped with visions of terrifying death eaters casting sectumsempra onto the auror unit. she felt the pain she had endured through a long time ago. it left a scar on her back and imprints in her mind. it was impossible to forget. she remembered yelling as she saw another auror drop dead. running, running out of the hellhole of the death eater's base. "y/n, y/n," fred was shaking her awake. she was shaking, tears were running down her face. she fervently apologised to him. "don't say sorry, lovely," he wiped the tears off of her face, "what was your dream about?" "t-the mission, the death eaters w-were cutting people up and they got me." "oh darling, why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked gently, cradling her head to his chest. "it, it comes out at the worst times." "well you're not in albania anymore, okay, love? you're here, in london, and you're safe. you're okay, you're fine." she nodded, "sorry." "don't you dare,

it isn't your fault. sleep, okay? i'll wait for you to go to sleep before i do, yeah?" she nodded. her head fell onto his chest and fred traced gentle patterns on her back, whispering small nothings in her ear. for the first time, it seemed like fred could watch her without repercussions. even with her tear-stained cheeks and wild hair, she was beautiful. and when he had stayed up for hours into the night and morning for this girl, this was when he realised. he would do anything for her. he loved her.