#i love this cam meme
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*cardan exiling jude*
jude:
the fandom:
holly black's editor:
the spider in my room:
cardan:
#he thought he ate fr#cardan 😭😭#holly blacks editor tho 💀💀💀#i would kill for that job (i am not worthy)#photos off pinterest#pinterest#i love this cam meme#books#bookish#booklr#the cruel prince#cardan greenbriar#jude duarte#tfota#cardan#jude#jurdan#jude x cardan#cardan x jude#judecardan#the wicked king#the queen of elfhame#the folk of the air#the folk of air#the stolen heir#the prisoners throne#enemies to lovers#booktok#high king of elfhame#high queen of elfhame
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I have decided that steven universe is a gothic narrative. decaying ruined structures that symbolize links to a forgotten past, the discovery of horrific family ties, being haunted by a dead mother via the self, grief so acute it ends a dynasty, blurring the boundaries of identity and the body, extended foreboding dream sequences, wrongful vengeance quests for the sins of the father.
#rip camilla hect and palamedes sextus you would have loved stevonnie#(cam and pal are still completely alive as far as I know that's just the meme format)#steven universe#marina marvels at life
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Why’d they have to pit two bad bitches against each other
#Eli art#I guess#I did all the lettering by hand#scavengers reign#scavengers reign shitpost#shitpost#hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby#scavengers reign hollow#finished watching it and my thoughts are: I love bingus (the hollow) and she (Azi) shoulda fucked that robot#Jkjk I rlly liked how it showed so many kinds of interactions humans can have with our environment and allowed viewers to see#the benefits of working with an appreciating a world which is dangerous but not malicious#anyways I call the hollow bingus and as I was watching it I’d ask my gf who’d already seen it when bingus was coming back#I wanted bingus cam#scavengers reign spoilers#scavengers reign meme
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for all my fellow 2AM/CAM truthers 😔
#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#charles smith#albert mason#charthur#2AM#charles x arthur x albert#chalbert#<- is that their ship name? idk#CAM#the bee's knees#i love drawing these lil goober guys they're so much fun#also i made that meme for blanche-elizabeth-devereaux bc she put me on the CAM bandwagon
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wlw marbit is in my head sooooo bad tonight…..
#plus gay trip#simply cause i think it’s so funny#marcia’s like yeah he’s straight pan to cam trip being the zesty dad meme#rip cam trip you would have loved rupauls drag race#i love crack headcanons like tf is this#the outsiders#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders musical#marcia the outsiders#marbit#marcia meyrink#two bit mathews#twobit mathews
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Of all the languages Meme could speak and she chose the truth
#speak your truth queen !!!! iktr Meme for AFP AND BB25 winner !!!!#this is so entertaining to go down and the spiraling of everyone but at the end of the day logically I fear Reilly gotta go#we can take Cam next week I don’t like him at all but the alliance will fall apart if he goes out this week !!!!#like I get it. I am an empath and that’s why I would never go on bb bc I would be crying 24/7 probs but game wise y’all gotta know what the#best option is !!!!!#I am so excited for the vote idk what’s gonna happen but Mecole spitting facts I love her#her and Cody surprisingly are such a delight to see play if a white men gotta win ig Cody isn’t that bad tbh#Izzy is also fun to see spiral SLSKSKS and Cirie mothering#bb25#big brother#mecole
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I love my mutual so much every time I see a post on my feed that I reblog I have to excited scroll to the top and see which one of my precious most dear chronically online comrads decided to grace my existence with the horrors of tumblr
#fr tho i love you guys and try so hard to interact in the most chill and not insane say possible#if anyone sends a reply on my posts or a dm about their random interest that we share#you cam bet your ASS i am EATING that shit UP#i love conversations#i love sharing memes and little tidbits that spark real human connection#communicating is my favorite part of humanity. we just. get to talk. and share thoughts. and see how our brains are different.#its amazing#youre amazing#youre all amazing#i love you#if i ses you on my dash i love you and value your existence#just because youre you and thats enough for me#mutuals#moots#love my mutuals#love my moots#you guys rock
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It's too hot to sleep and I just had a thought so I'm gonna tell you about it before I forget.
Ok, so remember when we came to the conclusion that it would be funniest if Rodney were from middle of nowhere Alberta and he grew up a farm kid? Cam canonically was a farm kid from Kansas and I think it could be really funny if he either clocked him immediately or the opposite happened where he had no idea and was floored when he found out. Or maybe they bond over it?
Side note: I was surprised when they said Cam was from Kansas because Ben Browder's accent sounds veryyy southern and I was like "we don't sound like that??" but then I'll hear my dad talk or i'll say a certian word and think "oh fuck maybe we do"
anyway thanks for listening goodnight!
omg i meant to answer this so long ago and then got busy and completely forgot sorry i'm the worst
idk much about cam but i think it would be so funny if rodney and cam met and cam just. squinted. stared at rodney. rodney's getting all nervous bc he isn't sure if there's something on his face or he's about to get shot. and cam just goes "what was on your farm as a kid" and before he can even process the question rodney's like "cattle mostly but we also grew some canola and- wait how the FUCK did you know i grew up on a farm?????"
cams like :) like knows like :)
#i love this#idk anything about cam but i think i'll love him#or hate him idk 😂😂#but i do love this#spider-man meme ass vibes#asks#headcanons#cameron mitchell#rodney mckay#sga#sg1#stargate
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John x Dave x America Hetalia new OTP
#america hetalia#alfred jones#homestuck#otp#john egburt#dave strider#john x dave#x america hetalia#hetalia mentioned woah#johndamerica#<-- ship name#ship post#real#memes#funny#100% real#if you dont ship this you DIE#court cams#licorice#valentines day#4chan#monopoly#politics#trump x biden#america#i love gays#Ultimate State Of America#tigers#economy#cougar
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Me during a probably depressive episode: Man, I just feels hollow no matter what I do. Maybe I could just start studying so at least I can blame it on something.
✨✨My favorite youtuber descending from the heavens with a new funny video about LOTR: FEAR NOT MY CHILD. ✨✨
#damn he really said#“hey mate#it doesn't need to get that bad“#here's some serotonin#its the little things#that cam cheer you up like nothing else#like a 38 minutes video about the silmarillion explained with memes#it's the third part of a series#we are barely after Urgoth eathing the trees#man i love Tolkien#lotr#the silmarillion
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our buddie pining era s7 to s8 relationship may actually come to fruition im about to buy champagne and kiss abc on the mouth
BUDDIE PINING ERA STARTING THIS WEEK AND GETTING TOGETHER SEASON 8 MID SEASON FINALE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#i love abc#abc maior e melhor#AMAZING INCREDIBLE#funny that i literally just made a meme to send to cam of this lol#kinda#anyway#LETS GOOOOOOOO#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌#911#911 wishful thinking
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Senshi Appreciation Post
#senshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#fan Cam#fancam#meme#CapCut#CapCut edit#senshi dungeon meshi#i love him so much
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Ref
#meme art#digital art#artists on tumblr#gay#transgender#transmasc#oc art#oc stuff#couple art#i love them sm#drawing fanart of my own ocs yet again 🥰#I both love and hate them#*rattles the bars of my cage*#i cam be trusted with ocs i swear
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i need them So Bad it’s not even funny
needy jealousy
yeonjun x fem!reader x kai
synopsis: your boyfriends decide to join nonutnovember.
warnings: 🔞!!! throuple/poly, established realtionship, no mxm, no protection, mentions of cum eating, creampie(s),she/her used prob forgot some sorry
wc: 3.4k
an: not proofread pls have mercy im so sleepy, I told myself I would keep these under 2k and im a liar bc as soon as this came in I knew I wouldn't be able to make it short ;-; hopefully it’s good lol thank you so much for the request @apeachty ily and you know exactly what I want to write next without even trying lol our minds are linked. also peep the reference to busy signal! anyways I have a whole bunch of other yeonkai x reader fics so check them out if you want!
[m.list] [1kevent! m.list]
“no,”
“what do you mean by no?” yeonjun asks, “You can’t or won’t?” He's leaning back against the headboard, scrolling on his phone when he gets the message in his group chat.
“I won’t,” you shrug, snuggling closer to Kai. He's half asleep, nose pressed to the back of your neck, arms loosely wrapped around you.
“It's only one month, you’re saying you can’t go one month without sex?”
“Not that I can’t, just that I won’t. It’s so stupid if I want to cum I will, with or without you,” you pat the back of huenings hand resting against your stomach. “I do have two boys to take care of me,”
kai chuckles, sleep ridden in the rumble on your back, “I’m going to try it,”
“I cannot believe both of you are falling into peer pressure, just cause the other boys are doing it doesn’t mean you have to,”
“I was told if I hold out longer than beomgyu I get a free coffee for every day I last,” yeonjun flips his phone for you to see his chat, and sure enough everyone is bragging about how they could make it till the end of November without getting off.
“Fine, do what you want. I’m not going to sit and beg you,” holding up two fingers you wave them in his face, “I can do it myself,”
“You don't even know how to use these,” he grabs at your wrist, pressing a kiss to your fingertips.
“I'll spend the month learning, or I'll just use the vibrator and the two of you will just have to sit and watch,”
It seemed like such a light threat at the time. Not one that you would hold to but it wasn't as if you needed to hold it in the first place. Only two days in and it felt like both of them would fail. Neither of them brought this up to you, but it wasn't like they needed to, the signs were everywhere.
Yeonjun had taken to spending time in the office when studying, all of his school work done with no time left for cuddling on the couch with you. More time spent working out with taehyun and less flirty texts in between sessions like he usually sent. Huening on the other hand was slowly closing off. His tight responses ended in silence, hardly answering in your group chat. Even in bed at night both of their backs turned to you as you lay there looking up at the ceiling.
It wasn't as if you all were sex addicts, what the challenge really was, was knowing that you couldn't do something vs. just not being in the mood. It was the forbidden fruit effect spread out before them. Everything you did now was hot even if it was the most mundane thing imaginable. The season was changing and now even just watching you take off your coat after coming in from outside was enough to get them hard. Just the idea of taking your clothes off, even just one layer, was enough to send them on their way to their respective avoidance programs.
You could be laying on the couch, half asleep, and answering a question with a hum and they were done for. Even worse at night when you would change, or come fresh out of the shower, hair still dripping, leaving your shirt spotted with wet dots, the fabric getting cold enough to make your nipples hard. It was a curse to witness you walk out into the living room with your shorts showing so much skin.
And you could see it on their faces, the way their jaws tightened, throats bobbing as they swallowed. You had never seen Kai look so expressionless. Every little thing is pent up inside him, the negative aura radiating off of him as you sit down between them. Even just seeing your bare thigh sent them into the other room.
A week in is around the time you think they are going to break. Yeonjun coming home from his workout, hair still sweaty and sticking to his forehead as he wraps his arms around you from behind. His soft kisses on your neck as you prepare a cup of tea. “Want one?”
“No, I'm good,” his hands traveling under and up your shirt. It was the first time since that conversation in the bed that he's put his hands on you in any way besides helping to guide you by the small of your lower back. You melted into his hold, head rolling back, letting him feel over your skin.
Neither of you hear Kai's feet padding across the apartment's floor. Don't notice him standing right in the doorway until he clears his throat, “so you've given up already?” The accusation sounds more like a warning. It's like he's thrown a bucket of ice water over yeonjun, the realization crushing his forgetfulness. He tugs his hands away from you like you're a hot stove he's gotten too close to. “Jjunie-”
He doesn't even look up, hand over his eyes as he turns away, “No, I'm going to take a very cold shower,”
“I'll join!” it's mostly a joke, your giggle making them both scowl.
“No, stop talking about being naked around me right now,”
“Why?” you ask, leaning against the counter, tilting your head as he tries to wave away the word. Your smile stuck as he walked away.
“You're evil,” he tosses over his shoulder leaving you alone with huening. You can feel him standing there watching you. His hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie while he leaned against the door frame.
“Do you want some?” you ask, pouring a spoonful of honey into your mug. He watches the way it dribbles and sees a dot drop to the counter, your fingers scooping it up and taking it to your mouth.
He watches you suck the honey off, not even caring that he's right there watching, hands tightening into fists as he thinks about the way your tongue would feel. He thinks he's hiding it well, that you can’t tell he's struggling so much. But he's so obvious, shaking his head and muttering that he's going to bed early. He swears he is never this horny, the two of you have gone well past a few weeks without having sex before and not even thinking much about it. Only now it’s all he can think about and it's making him feel sick, his stomach tightening every time he sees you in a room, like at any moment it won't be him you go to first to ask to get off.
Never has he been so jealous in his life, not even about yeonjun for kissing you but over your own fingers. Even if you caved and asked yeonjun to be the one to take care of you he wouldn't mind, he'd give up without question, but the idea that you can just walk around and sit with your own hand down your pants was what was killing him.
He could see it in his head, could picture that time you were struggling to get off with tears in your eyes, how he helped you just like you needed, yeonjun over the phone telling him to take care of you. He wanted that, he needed that. He wanted to help you again, he wanted you to help him, and yet he also wanted to last longer than yeonjun.
But you had had enough of watching the two of them being so avoidant. Feeling plagued by kai’s mood and yeonjun absence over something so stupid was annoying. Not caring about your tea you followed after Kai. He was already climbing onto the bed, curling up away from your side, arms crossed and eyes closed as you hopped in after him.
He doesn't acknowledge you are there even when you sneak your arms under him, wrapping him up and being the big spoon behind him. You press your face into his neck, breathing in his comforting smell, humming right against his ear.
“Hyuka?” it's rare you use the nickname, only when you really want something, kai associating it the most with your desperate calls for him to touch you. You can feel his body tightening, your leg raising to lay on top of his, tugging him even closer to you. “You're so tense,” Your hand on his stomach rubs in soft circles over the fabric of his hoodie, his breath hitching every time you pass over the waistband of his sweatpants. “You know I could help with that,”
Kai pulls himself away from you, all the way off the bed as you roll on your back. The little smile on your lips eating him alive. He was hard, painfully so, watching you there softly roll your hips, beckoning him. He can hear the sound of the shower, the beating water, the only other noise in the room, the light under the door fanning out around the floor. He watched you sit up on your knees, right at the edge of the bed, hands reaching out to tug him closer to you.
He let it happen, caved, and leaned down to rest his forehead on yours, eyes pinched closed as he muttered, “You're Killing me,” he could feel your smile when you kissed him, arms wrapping around his neck.
You had him right where you wanted him, his whimpers between kisses only pushing you on, pulling him back to the bed. He didn't say anything as he laid back against the headboard, your legs straddling him, and your hands already pulling off his top. “I shouldn't-”
“I won't tell,” you say in between kisses, his erection pressed into your thigh. “We can be quick, yeonjun won't even have to know,”
“He’ll know,” kai’s not even trying to keep it down, his soft whimpers leaving every time he rolls his hips to try and gain friction against your leg. “And I won't stop after just once, I don't think it will be enough,”
Both of you jump at the sound of yeonjuns voice, “What is this? My girlfriend in bed with another man?” Neither of you had even heard the water turn off, the steam still wafting out of the bathroom behind yeonjun as he rubbed a towel against his wet hair.
“Oh no Huening, I think my boyfriend caught us,” sometimes the three of you liked to joke like this, poking fun at the idea of what others thought about your relationship. But Kai wasn't in the mood. He wrapped his arms around you, flipping you over so you were on your back and he was on top pushing you into the mattress.
“My girlfriend, my bed. I want first,” he leaves no room for argument, his mouth back on your neck, hips grinding into yours.
“Giving up so early already Huening, I knew you couldn't last,” yeonjun tisks, he sits back in his chair in the corner of the room, his favorite view for moments like this. His towel is draped across his bare shoulders, arms crossed as he looks right at you. “And you, I'm sure you teased him into it,”
“no, I’d never do something like that,”
“Liar,” they both say at the same time, kai’s face pressed against your neck, hot mouth working down your throat. You wrap your legs around him pushing him closer, his breathy whimpers right in your ear. Twisting your fingers into kai's hair you pull on the strands, your smile eating yeonjun alive. He could tell himself he wouldn't cave but he knows it's a slim chance when he sees you like this with huening.
Not when he watches the way your lips fall open when kai pushes into you, the sweet little sounds you're making leaves him hard in seconds. It's worse now too because you're looking at him like you know exactly what he's thinking. And you do know, it's not too hard to guess as he leans back with his arms crossed, knuckles turning white as he readjusts in his seat to try and find some kind of relief.
Kai didn't even feel the need to strip you, pushing your panties to the side and not worrying about preparing you. The guttural moan he released when he was fully seated inside you reverberated against your whole body. He was a mess of whimpers, arms wrapping around you pulling you as close as he could, shallow thrusts in apology for ever denying himself from you. “Never again- I won't- I can't-” he's trying to get the words out, broken moans filtering through each breath he takes.
“He can't even talk, and I'm not even going to judge because if it's anything like how I remember I'd be just as bad,” yeonjun mutters, his jaw so tight he hardly opens his mouth to say it.
“Jjunie,” you moan, tugging kais hair as his hips stutter against yours, “don't you want to cum for me?”
Kai won't last hearing the word come from your mouth, every thrust just making you wetter, your warmth pulling him in. He's surprised he even lasted this long before he felt his first orgasm. If it wasn’t for the way he starts to tremble you wouldn't have noticed that he has cum already, not when he doesn’t pull out, doesn’t even slow down.
“Don't give me that look,” yeonjun warns, but it is not like you can help it when kai is pulling one of your legs up by the back of your knee, his hips sinking deeper, your eyes rolling back at the new depth.
Yeonjun doesn't even notice how his own hips are moving, leaning back just enough in his chair so that each roll gives him the just right amount of friction against his oversized sweatpants. He's trying not to make it obvious just how hard he is but he's finding it harder and harder to keep his hands off himself and away from you when the headboard starts to creek against the wall.
Huenings lets out a mix of grunts and whimpers, his cum making you so much easier to slip in and out of, the soft slapping sound of his thighs against yours drowning out any other thought in his mind. “Look at me,” he's gasping, pulling back just enough so that his hand not holding your leg can grasp the headboard, softening the sound for only a second before the bed is back to squeaking.
You don't deny him, his hair hanging around his eyes, mouth open as he feels the first tingle of overstimulation, thin silver chain necklace dangling just above your chin. His knees are digging into the mattress, the angle pushing him so much deeper. You reach down with one hand to rub on your clit, the other scratching at the back of his neck.
He's finding it hard to keep his eyes open as he tried not to cum again, “God you look so pretty like this,”
“Did you miss me?”
“Fuck yes, I missed this- I missed your pussy so- so much,” he trails off in a whimper, head tossed back exposing his throat to you.
Your orgasm is so close, aided by all of his desperate sounds. When all of his little ‘ah-ah’s’ get close together you feel yourself tip over the edge. Kai can’t handle the way you clench around him, the both of you are so wrapped up in each other that you don't notice the way yeonjun has to close his eyes. He's begging and praying that he could be stronger than he is but this is too much for him.
Worst still is how you look over at him at just the last second, a taunt caught right in your creased brow. He can't even take the pressure of his pants anymore, he tugs them down, cock hitting his stomach, heavy and aching. It does little to cure him of this need.
Kai lets go of the headboard, arms pulling you closer as he peppers your face in kisses, his happy giggle pressed right to your pulse. “Do you feel better?”
“So much,” he sighs, “I don't even care about losing anymore I just wanted- no I needed you so bad,”
“You know who else needs to forget the stupid bet?” your eyes are trained on the way yeonjun is trying and failing not to move his hips. Every micro-movement brushing his red tip against his skin gives the smallest amount of relief but not enough.
“Don't talk like I'm not right here,” his eyes are closed, fingers leaving imprints on his biceps.
“You should help him,” Kai continues, nose sliding down your cheek before he gives a soft kiss to the edge of your mouth. He pulls away, leaning back on his heels as he pulls out of you, quick to move your panties into place to catch any of your combined release in place to not spill on the sheets.
Standing on shaking legs you stand, stumbling until yeonjun pulls you on top of him. He's groaning as soon as you straddle him, his hands on your hips like a vise. “Why torture me?”
“No one said you had to watch, I was content with not letting you know but you sat down and didn't look away,” your nails lightly scratch over his chest, his humming response matches the subtle way he's trying to grind up into your clothed clit, panties wet and warm against him.
“I'll just put it in, I won't even move, I just- I need something,” it's like he's asking permission, wondering if this will mean he's failed, if you'll tell on him. Huening chuckles from the bed, knowing the truth because the second yeonjun slips in he won't be able to help himself.
“Okay, I won't move either,” you slip your hand down to pull your underwear to the side, the dribbles of your slick and kais cum leak all over. Dripping onto yeonjuns veiny cock and stomach. You try to wipe it away, your fingers on him making his ads flex, cock jumping when you put your fingers to your mouth, sucking away the saltiness. You barely get your fingers away from your mouth before yeonjuns kiss you. His favorite taste is you mixed with cum.
When you sink down on him both of you moan, the sound caught right in the back of your throat, his eyes squeezed tight as he tries not to thrust up into you. He's devastated to find that you feel even better than he remembered, his hold on your hips almost bruising as you clench around him.
“This was a horrible idea,” he’s gasping, “oh shit- i-,” he's cut off by your first attempt at moving up and down. “No, don’t, I won't be able to last-”
“But jjunie-” you whine, hand pushing into your lower stomach, right over where you can feel him pressing so deep into you. “I wanna cum again,”
“She's so greedy,” Kai adds, your hips rocking back and forth enough to leave yeonjun speechless.
Clit grinding onto his pelvis, you don't even care about bouncing anymore, the perfect friction to get you off, the tip of his cock pressed right against your g-spot bumping over and over with each movement of your hips. “You're going to have to get off, I can't lose- I won't-”
But it's not like he's letting you get off of him, he's actively helping you grind down on him, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass, “faster-” he's moaning, your hands on his shoulders for leverage before you're falling apart, your toes curling, every noise pressed right to his ear. The way your walls are fluttering around him makes his balls tighten, “I just won'tcum I just won't- I won't - I- fuck -oh fuuuckk,” He's not even stopping now, thrusting up into you to ride out his high, shoving all his cum as far as he can get it, not worried anymore when it feels this good.
“You're the worst,” yeonjun chuckles after the two of you have caught your breath, “I love you so much, but actually you're evil and I love it,”
“It's not my fault you couldn't help yourself, I told you it was stupid,”
“I just won't tell anyone this happened,” he shrugs but kai laughs from the bed.
“I already told everyone you lost,”
taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!
#𝓴𝗶𝗽𝗼 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔! ๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) ˑ༄#𝓁𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝖻𝗈𝗒──hueningkai ♡ ˎˊ˗#𝓁𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝖻𝗈𝗒──yeonjun ♡ ˎˊ˗#RAHHHHHHHHH#RIPS CLOTHES OFF WEREWOLF MEME#kai in this is sooooo#hehehehfheheheh#i’m literally obsessed with the way you write him#like there’s just something about it omg#it makes me feral#and YEONJUNNNNN#needthat#yeonkai my loves#teasing kai into losing while yeonjun watches >>>#when yeonjun was all like oh you have to get off but was moving her hips#YEAH.#and kai my god#i need him so bad#SO BAD.#the beginning where she was just cuddling up against him when he was half asleep with his arms wrapped around her#that was so hot to me idk#need that too#ILY SO MUCH CAM#about to binge read everything you’ve written#hueningkai x reader#hueningkai smut#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun smut#txt x reader#txt smut
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"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. no matter the cost" + scott/theresa !!!
Theresa doesn’t know at what point, exactly, she’d fallen into Lydia’s pool. She’d been running away from something that hadn’t been there—she’d known it hadn’t been there—it’d been a lucid dream she couldn’t wake up from, and she’d been getting more and more of those, but never while she’s awake, and—
She hadn’t been asleep, but she’s waking up now, blinking slow eyes at the sky as water drips down her face.
In the foreground of the sky, bright like the moon, Scott McCall’s face is coming into focus.
Scott McCall, she realizes, is hovering above her anxiously, crouched into a squat.
One time last year, when they’d both been freshmen sharing the field for lacrosse and cheer practice and Scott had still been relegated to the bench, she’d gotten hit with a stray ball, and she’d woken up this same way. He’d sprinted across the field from the bench; he’d been puffing his inhaler as he’d looked down at her. His mom was a nurse, he’d explained, and someone was getting the school nurse right now, but could he check her pupils to see if she had a concussion? Just to be sure? And did she need help standing up? He’d stuffed his inhaler haphazardly into his shin guard to offer his hand before she could even answer. She’d thought he was kind of cute already, in a puppy dog way, but that had solidified her crush on him. She’d liked him since.
She likes him now, the soft concern in his eyes the exact same, the severe set to his shoulders that hadn’t been there before, the inhaler that isn’t there now. Hadn’t been in a while. She’s been wondering what changed, but asking out loud feels like it’d jinx it. Even now, she feels like she has to knock on wood to counteract the bad luck opening her mouth will cause.
“Theresa,” he says it like he’s said it a few times and she hasn’t been listening until now, “are you okay?”
She hasn’t been listening until now. Has he been saying her name? It sounds so right in his mouth. She wants him to say it again.
“Theresa,” he says again, and the smile on her face feels stupid, and maybe she’s a little delirious from adrenaline or the punch or both. Maybe.
Maybe not, though; maybe it’s just him. She’d always had trouble looking away from him, but everyone else is finally starting to catch up, Allison then Lydia then Erica then Isaac, Danny at the formal and stories from Danny about guys at the Jungle—
It’s so hard to look away. He’s always looking right back.
“Hi,” she answers absently, eyebrows furrowing at the frown on his face. “What’s wrong?”
He looks at her for a moment, in the way he does, like he’s really seeing the person he’s looking at, and then huffs an impossible little laugh, and the moment breaks.
He doesn’t know her. She doesn’t know him, either, but she wants to.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he promises, straightening up until he’s standing. He offers a hand down to her. “Can you stand?”
She wonders briefly if he’d pick her up if she says no. He probably wouldn’t. She doesn’t think she really wants it, anyway; if he’s going to wrap his arms around her, it’s going to be because he wants to so badly that he can’t do anything else.
She accepts his hand, and then he puts a hand on her other elbow to help her pull herself up, and she feels warm there and then everywhere.
God, Lydia had made a strong fucking punch.
She can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong and she isn’t sober enough to ignore it the way she usually does. She’s paranoid and she’s superstitious and she hates that about herself. Everything feels like an omen all of the time. She can’t shake the bad feeling she’d gotten since Scott had finally gotten his chance to actually play lacrosse. He hadn’t used his inhaler once.
It’s jealousy, she thinks, that other people are noticing him, the way Lydia had cheered and Allison had grinned and the other cheerleaders whispered amongst themselves. It has to be jealousy. It can’t be anything else.
She asks, because she has to, “What happened to your inhaler?”
Scott doesn’t quite pale, but a look of panic flashes across his face before it settles into confusion. Or she thinks it does. She’s not sure. She feels the memory more than she remembers it. Sometimes it feels like her brain is filling in gaps for her. It scares her.
“I still have it,” he tells her, quirking a half-smile now, his hand rising to rub the back of his neck. “I, uh—didn’t think anyone noticed.”
“I noticed,” she said, not sure why she is, “I notice everything.”
She gets that same feeling of sensing his panic more than seeing it, which is crazy, and she is so drunk, clearly, and out of it, to be processing things so strangely.
She doesn’t want him to panic, so she’s quick to reassure, “I always noticed you.”
She doesn’t really know why she thought that would work, now that she’s said it, but it does. His confusion is much less anxious now.
“That’s—really nice. Thanks, Theresa.” He pauses for a moment, like he thinks he has to say something more, like maybe it might hurt her feelings, and she likes him so much. It kind of makes it even better that he doesn’t like her, too—he’s just like that. He just likes to treat people well. “I noticed you, too.”
“Yeah, well—” she shrugs, laughing. “Kinda hard to miss the girl that got knocked out with a lacrosse ball.”
He laughs, too, and it sounds so good, and she’s distracted by the smell of his cologne as he shakes his head. “Before that, too. You, uh—you never laughed. When Coach would put me in goal or on defense to give the team an easy practice.”
“That’s not a big deal,” she says, waving him off. “It wasn’t funny. I only laugh when things are funny.”
His smile is a real one now, genuine and comfortable, and she could cry, “It was a big deal to me.”
She doesn’t know what to say to that, because all of her thoughts sound so stupid in her head, so instead she looks down at herself. “Um, I guess I should go dry off.”
“Yes,” Scott says immediately, like he’d forgotten, too. “Yeah. I’ll help you look for some towels.”
Theresa is familiar enough with Lydia’s house to know where she keeps the towels. She doesn’t tell him.
The party had spilled inside, somewhat, but it’s just scattered people whispering to each other, two girls in the corner playing with each other’s hair, a boy and a girl on the couch toying with the idea of holding hands. It’s sweet.
She wonders what she and Scott must look like, him leading the way up the stairs for her, and how quickly he’d jump to correct people’s assumptions.
She wonders, a little guiltily, what Allison would think.
She likes Allison. She understands why Scott had liked Allison, too, before they’d broken up, and why he’d liked her, and she’s not—resentful. Of her. A little jealous, maybe, but she likes Allison. They’d been kind of friends, too, before Lydia had pulled away and Allison had followed. She understands why Scott is so obviously still hung up on her. She’s understands why Allison is probably the same way.
“What happened, anyway?” Scott asks, in the kind of casual way she can tell isn’t really casual.
“Uh,” she laughs, awkward and nervous, glad she’s looking at his back instead of his face. “It’s gonna sound, um—a little crazy.”
As she follows him down the hall, she wonders what it felt like for Lydia, disappearing in the woods for days, showing back up and begging for help through a chalkboard, the class too busy laughing at her to take a second to read the backwards SOMEONEHELPME she’d written over and over and over.
Theresa had tried to help. Lydia hadn’t wanted it. She’d tried, and still is trying, not to take it personally.
“I’m used to crazy,” he assures. She can hear the smile in his voice, but she hears a certain kind of exhaustion, too, and she isn’t sure what to make of that.
“My grandma died a few years ago. I saw—I thought I saw her tonight,” she says, keeping her voice carefully light as she watches the muscles in his back tense. “Which is crazy for so many reasons. She hated parties.”
He laughs, a short and shy thing, and she kind of wants to cry over it. She doesn’t even know why.
“Don’t worry, though,” she offers. “I don’t expect you to make a habit out of protecting me from grandma ghosts. Mostly because I don’t expect to make a habit out of seeing grandma ghosts.”
“You can find me if you do,” he says, and it hurts her chest, and there are so many reasons why that she’s not even going to start thinking about them. It should be a joke but he sounds so serious.
Theresa isn’t stupid, but she’s only human. Everyone in town buries their heads in the sand, and she does, too, and she likes it that way. She doesn’t want to know if there are worse things in the woods than mountain lions. She still feels safe enough to go jogging in the preserve when she has her bear mace.
“Yeah, okay,” she says lightly, a laugh in her throat. “It’s okay, McCall. I don’t need you to save me.”
“But I can still keep you safe,” he says softly, turning around to face her, a quiet intensity in his eyes. “If you need me to.”
“Scott,” she murmurs, a little breathless. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. No matter the cost. If you ever need me to.”
And it’s so good, and at the same time so awful, that he isn’t saying this to her because she’s special. He’s saying it to her because he’d say it to anyone. She wonders when that happened.
She smiles because there isn't anything else to do. “Thanks, McCall. You too.”
He smiles back. “Okay. Let’s find some towels.”
#me: i love writing! also me: takes two months toanswer a prompt#anyway hiiiiiiiii#they're my best friends#they don't kiss about it for so long btw#my restraint is unparalleled#anyways#lets just.#cam*#(cat answers memes)#and then#oc: theresa baptiste#cc: scott mccall#scott x theresa#danadia tag
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I finally started reading Nona the Ninth. I'm five chapters in and here are some key takeaways so far:
- As a trans feminine butch Pyrhha Dve having a completely normalized shaving scene, and Nona thinking it's beautiful is HEALING
- In addition to that, the teacher misgendering Pyrhha threw me through a loop cuz I completely forgot she's now permanently in Gideon the First's body.
- The fuck is the blue light??? Why does it hurt necromancers???
- Crown is Coronabeth (Corona, Crown, duh). Captain is Judith.
- This book is managing to be to uplifting and hopeful, yet makes me so incredibly sad in a way I can't begin to describe. As someone who has such a deep indescribable love of humanity as a whole, Nona and the kids especially are really hitting something deep within me.
- Pyrhha wanting to take Calamedes (name pending) and Nona away and live away on a farm is just. Mood girl, mood.
- Pyrhha sweety, why are you drinking bleach? Do you wanna talk?
- I want to scoop up Hot Sauce and give her a good home
- The rest of the kids too while we're at it
- Between the last book and now Cam/Palamedes, Tamsyn Muir has accidentally created quite possibly the most positive representation of Dissociative Identity Disorder, and disorders like it, that I have ever seen. Like I just wanna sit down with Muir and ask if that was intentional or not
- It's a bit out there but I think Nona is humanity? Or maybe a manifestation of Earth? Like it would take an It's Always Sunny conspiracy board meme level of explanation to get into how I got to that theory. But I think Nona is humanity, or at the very least, human connection incarnate
- That first chapter detailing Cam, Pyrhha, and Palamedes caring for Nona... I cried. As an autistic kid who both was forced to grow up too fast, and also was often patronized when loving innocence/naivety shown through the mask, seeing caregivers not only love Nona, but respect her and show her DIGNITY was something I didn't know I needed to see
#nona the ninth#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#tlt#tlt spoilers
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