#i love these guys Keys is a dumbass and Deck is too nice to say anything most of the time

[soymikki]

I almost never post art on here but I think I'm gonna start trying to

Here's 2 of my favorite guys, Deck and Keys

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Don’t Worry, Be Snappy!

Summary: Amber finds herself stranded on a boat with Mike Weiss…and as anything where Mike is involved, it all gets a little crazy!

Warnings: Bad Language words.

A/N:  As it is past midnight here in the UK here it is!

BEWARE- This is utter, utter nonsense. You’re about to get an insight into exactly how stupid mine and @icanfeelastormbrewing​ ‘s minds and brain storming sessions really are. But it made us laugh, and we hope it makes you laugh too.

Written especially for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ for her birthday! Happiest of days to you Ambi, we love you lots!!!

Fic Song: Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bob Marley 

Now listen to what I said, in your life expect some trouble, when you worry you make it double. But don't worry, be happy, be happy now

 The problem with Mike Weiss is, well, just that he is Mike Weiss. Total crackpot, in more ways than one. Which was why Amber found herself one sunny July afternoon sailing down a literal creek without a paddle as they searched for his pet alligator. Mike had been struck by a sudden idea the previous night that it would be nice to take Snappy to the Everglades- “So he can associate with his own kind, learn so alligator social skills”

Of course, despite Mike’s protests to the contrary, Snappy was instinctively a fucking wild animal. So as soon as Mike had dropped him into the water he had slunk off into the weeds and completely ignored (again, not surprisingly) Mike’s calling of his name.

“Why did you let him go Mike?” Amber groaned, laying back on the bench in the boat.

“I was high, ok?” Mike sighed “Seemed like a good idea.” He chewed the inside of his cheek a little as he glanced around, hands on his hips “Here Snappy, Snappy.” “Yeah, he’s mingling Mike…there’s no fucking way we’re A- gonna find him, or B- he’s gonna come back!” “I love what a positive, always look on the Brightside kinda gal you are.” Mike shot her a look as he steered the boat carefully down the small reed lined stream.

“I’m a realist.” Amber sighed, still looking up at the clouds “You should try it sometime.”

At that point the boat they were on gave a little stutter and Amber sat up to see Mike glancing curiously at the controls.

“Erm…” he looked around “It broke.” “What do you mean it broke?” “Well it was working…” Mike rolled his eyes “And now it’s not.” “Fucks sake…let me try.” Amber sighed. She stood up, shoved Mike out of the way and she turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. With a groan she looked at him, her hands on her hips “I TOLD you we should have taken my fucking canoe.”

She flopped down back into her seat with a growl.

“Someone’s cranky” Mike whispered and Amber glared at him.

“You know what, I am, you’re right.” She pointed at him “You’re a dumb dork, who does dumb dork things, like letting an alligator go free in the middle of the swamp in FUCKING FLORIDA!”

Mike opened his mouth to say something but the sound of another boat engine drew their attention and they both turned. Amber’s eyes were instantly taken by the man steering the boat who was dressed in a white shirt and a dirty pair of jeans. His wind ruffled hair was stuck up slightly and his eyes were hidden by a set of aviators. A small girl with blonde hair sat besides him, a ginger cat on her lap and behind her perched a woman with long, reddy-brown hair, a pair of glasses also over her eyes.

“You guys alright?” the man asked as they pulled up alongside them.

“Yeah, this dumbass managed to strand us here.” Amber jerked her hand over her shoulder.

“Frank did that to us once.” The young girl grinned and the man who had just stopped the boat besides them looked down at her.

“That was the one time my repairs let me down.” He shook his head.

“One time too many.” She quipped.

Amber snorted, “I like you kid.”

The little girl smiled “I’m Mary, this is my uncle Frank and his girlfriend Fliss.”

“Nice to meet you all.” Amber smiled. “I’m Amber and this is Mike.”

“Want me to take a look at it?” Frank asked, nodding to the boat “I do it for a living so…”

“Be my guest.” Mike said, and Frank nodded, heading to the back of his boat.

“So what are you doing here?” Mary asked.

“Mary stop being so nosey.” Fliss sighed.  Mike gave a chuckle.

“We’re looking for my pet alligator…”

“Yeah Idiot Boy here set him loose. Thought he needed some alligator time with other alligators…” Amber rolled her eyes.

“You have a pet alligator?” Mary’s eyes widened. “Frank, can-“ “No.” Frank cut her off as he turned round, a length of rope in his hand.

“It can live in the pool!” Mary pressed

“Absolutely not.” Fliss looked at her and then their attention turned to Mike as he gave a chuckle.

“Can’t keep em in a pool kid, chlorine…not good.” Mary paused and then grinned “We can build him a lake in Monty’s field…” “The hell we can.” Frank snorted.

“Ah go on man, make the little girl happy!” Mike smiled. “They make great pets…”

“Clearly they don’t.” Frank grumbled, looking Mike up and down before he frowned at the man’s ridiculous shirt and trouser combination. Fliss grinned.

“Nice boots” she said, gesturing to Mike’s cowboy specials.

“Thanks!” Mike flashed her a cheeky grin and a wink.

“Shame about the rest of it.” Frank quipped, as he tied a length of rope to the side of the stranded boat, securing it to his own so he could hop over onto the deck.

“You’re calling my outfit out?” Mike scoffed, gesturing with his hand to Frank’s loud yellow and black Hawaiian print shirt “Exhibit A your honour.” “Clearly this is some sort of shit outfit competition.” Amber mumbled.

“I feel you sister.” Fliss grinned “Are you two…erm…together…or…” “Never seen him before in my life.” Amber denied and Fliss laughed.

“What the fuck Amber?” Mike protested.

“He just turns up from time to time when he has the munchies and eats all my Sour Patch Kids.”

“That’s not the only thing I eat.” Mike grinned and Frank let out a snort.

“Yeah, sure.” Amber rolled her eyes before she looked at Fliss and Mary, dropping her voice “He also eats my dog, Tikka’s, food.” “Frank ate one of Fred’s catnip treats once.” Mary said and Frank shrugged, not taking his attention of the engine of the boat.

“I wanted to see what the fuss was about.”

“You were drunk” Mary retorted.

“That was the night you came home saying the leprechauns had stolen your jacket.” Fliss said.

Mike grinned “I see leprechauns a lot.”

Amber shook her head “Jesus Christ…” she mumbled.

“Ok, I see the problem.” Frank smiled, stranding up and turning to Mike “You’re out of fuel.”

Amber blinked as Mike turned to her, giving her a small shrug and an innocent, boyish smile as she exploded “What the…you didn’t think to CHECK?” “I thought they were electric.” Mike shrugged.

“God you’re an idiot…should have brought my canoe.”

“You know, that’s the second time you said that.” Mike looked at her.

“Really, well here’s the third…” She snarked “I. SHOULD. HAVE. BROUGHT. MY. CANOE!”

“Ok, we can give you a tow back.” Frank said, moving back to climb into his own boat. “Get you back to the centre.” “No can do.” Mike shook his head, “Need to find Snappy…” “Yeah, erm…” Fliss pointed to something that was approaching them, a confused expression on her face “I think he may have already found you.” They all turned and as they watched Snappy sail past their boat led on an Alligator shaped pool inflatable, being pushed by an extremely good looking man in a wet suit. He glanced up at them, smiling, his teeth white from behind his beard and he flicked his long hair back out of his eyes.

“Leave no gator behind.” He said simply, as he continued swimming past, Snappy basking on his inflatable.

Amber blinked, looked at the can of coke she was holding and turned to Mike “What the fuck did you put in this?” “Nothing…” “And why am I suddenly cold?” she frowned.

“Cold?” Frank looked at her “It’s like 90 degrees…in the middle of Florida.”

“That may be, but I’m still cold…” she frowned “And why is it going dark…”

****

Amber sat bolt upright, her head colliding painfully with the bunk above her, breathing deeply as she looked around. The light and warmth she had been feeling had been replaced with dark and cold, the blues and greens of Florida swapped for the dark greys and browns of the train…

“Hey…” a familiar voice said and she turned to look at Curtis as he sat up besides her “You ok baby?”

“Yeah, I just had the strangest dream.” She said as her man gently rubbed between her shoulders as she began to explain to him what she’d been dreaming about. He arched an eyebrow, sniggered occasionally and then snorted with laughter, a rare thing for Curtis Everett, when she told him about the inflatable alligator.

“And Mike, Frank, the Diving guy…they looked a bit like you. Which is odd.” She finished shrugging.

“Well I’m clearly on your mind.” Curtis quipped as he lay back, arms folded behind his bed as he gave her a sinful look “And you should be on my face so I can wish you a happy birthday properly.”

Amber grinned and shuffled round to straddle him before she stopped, her hands falling to his chest.

“On one condition.” She smirked.

“What?”

“Take your beanie off first. It gives me a rash.”

[shinsorokiri]

UA Idol | Chapter Three

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 2,204

Warnings: Language, big anxiety

A/N: Chapter Three is up because my dumbass forgot to upload last week! So here’s some more. The “original song” is “Pantaloon” by Twenty One Pilots, so if you would like to listen to it, go ahead! I hope you enjoy and I promise I’ll stop forgetting to upload lmao.

UA Idol Masterlist

───────────────────────────────────

You two are pulled aside and interviewed, in which Mina gives a short little excited burst of personality, and you’re there to make sure she doesn’t start shrieking again. It’s pretty endearing, it’s very obvious you two are best friends. After all of that is over with, the two of you are able to wander around, so Mina obviously drags you over to where Denki and purple boy were. They’re still there, and Mina makes it a point to shake the ticket in front of her friend’s face.

“No fucking way! You did it!” he yells, engulfing her in a hug. You don’t realize, but you and lilac man both cringe at their volume, but nevertheless you smile for your best friend. After all, this is a dream come true for her. You’re still in shock from your audition, so all you can think about is the pride and happiness you have for Mina in this moment. “Oh! My best friend and roomie made it to!” Mina squeals, grabbing your wrist and shaking your hand that’s holding the ticket for you. “Denki Kaminari, (Y/f/n), (Y/f/n), Denki Kaminari,” she says, motioning from him to you then you to him. “Hi there, cutie,” he says with a slight smirk and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Call me that again and it’ll be the last word you ever speak,” you say, and to your surprise, he laughs. “Damn, Mina, it’s like I’m looking at another Shinsou,” he says, and that’s when the lavender dude sighs. Ah. So, he’s-

“Mina Ashido, Hitoshi Shinsou. Hitoshi Shinsou, Mina Ashido. (Y/f/n), Hitoshi Shinsou, Hitoshi-”

“I got it,” you and Shinsou say simultaneously, with the same inflection in your voice and deadpan facial expression. That’s when you look at each other. And by that, I mean really look at each other, not just look at the other person when their eyes are focused on something else. And that’s when everything just kinda… stops for a few seconds. The only thing you can even focus on is him, and you can’t tear your eyes away from his, no matter how much you want to. Do you even want to? You don’t even know the man, and yet butterflies are erupting in your stomach and all feelings of unease leave your body. Of course, Mina and Denki don’t notice the cease in time or the feelings exploding in your body. You’re only forced back into reality when your best friend’s voice interrupts you. “Holy shit, they’re like clones of each other,” Mina mumbles, staring back and forth between you two. “The only difference is-”

“Contestants 14799 and 14800? Follow me, you’re on deck,” the same producer who grabbed you two away from them earlier comes and snatches them away from you. “Don’t go anywhere, Mina. If you’re cool with it, I kind of want to go to dinner to catch up after this, it’s been too long,” Denki says, and Shinsou raises his eyebrow at him. “What about me and (Y/n)? Are we supposed to tag along on your date?”

“Oh, honey, I’m gay as fuck. But Denki, I’m so down to catch up! I can’t believe we went a whole month without linking up. And I’m sure (Y/n) would be happy to come with. Especially if we go to her favorite restaurant which I just so happen to have a coupon for because I was gonna take her there to celebrate or mourn after the audition.”

“Awesome! You two stay right here, we’ll be back out!” Denki screams over his shoulder as Shinsou drags him away. “Seriously, Denki?”

“What? I want to talk to Mina again! She and I were literally the best pranksters of our little group in high school and it’s been like a month since we last caught up with each other,” Denki whines and Hitoshi sighs. “But why did you need to drag me into it?” he groans, and Denki smirks at him. “Oh please. Don’t pretend like I didn’t notice you eyeing up Mina’s friend.” “Choose your next words wisely.”

“Shin. Come on. You at least think she’s pretty since your eyes literally didn’t leave her the entire time she was by us. Give her a chance at least, maybe she’s the one,” Denki says, his joking demeanor gone away. Shinsou hesitates before speaking again, saying the thing he’s said to his overexcited blonde friend multiple times before. But this time, he doesn’t believe it as much. “I don’t have time for love, Denki. It’s time consuming and I need to spend my time on more important matters.”

“But she was really cute, right?”

“If you call her cute again, I will beat you up.”

“Why?”

“Because she was cute. And I don’t need you to make me think about it every five seconds because my brain is already doing that on its own,” Hitoshi mumbles, looking away from his friend who has a smug grin on his face. You were cute, so what? You were so cute that the world around him stopped functioning for a bit when you two made eye contact and all he could focus on was your eyes and how you made him feel like he was okay despite the fact that his anxiety was through the roof right now because of the situation he is in and all the people surrounding him at all sides because that’s normal. That’s normal, right? Please, assure him that it’s normal. “Hm. Have you thought about buying her dinner? That’ll send off the right message.”

“Shut. Up.”

“What’s up guys!” Shinsou and Denki’s conversation was cut short by Present Mic literally screaming at them. “Just getting pumped to do this!” Denki responds immediately, hopping up and down in place. “Alright! That’s what I like to hear! Now, who are you guys?”

“I’m Denki Kaminari and this beautiful bastard next to me is Hitoshi Shinsou,” Denki responds, finger-gunning over to Shinsou. Shinsou sighs but gives a genuine smile to Present Mic as he waves. “COOL! So, are you guys a duo?”

“No, we’re just here to support the other! My family doesn’t live around here and Shin’s… couldn’t make it!” Kaminari covers up for Shinsou, knowing that he just told the entire story of why his family couldn’t support him right now to the producers maybe thirty minutes ago. Shinsou silently thanks him for that, knowing he’d probably have to tell at least some of it again to the actual judges. “I love seeing y’all supporting each other like this! Makes me think of when I supported Aizawa the first time he ever actually performed instead of just sat on the sidelines watching someone else sing his song! Kaminari, you’re first, you ready?” “I was born ready.”

“HELL YEAH! Go on in!”

Hitoshi watches his best friend enter the room, his own nerves starting to kick in. Regardless of how he’s feeling, he listens as Denki belts out Kiwi. For someone who has the personality of a corroded triple AAA battery, his voice is really pleasing to the ear. Especially when he lays on the distortion but still somehow manages to hit high notes in his belting range. Honestly if anyone was born to be a rockstar, it was Denki Kaminari. Unsurprisingly, he comes out with a ticket, waving it around like the excited Pikachu he is. “I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it-”

“Okay I get it! You did it!” Hitoshi says, waving his fists in a little celebratory motion. He is genuinely smiling though. He’s happy for Denki. And then he realizes it’s his turn. “You got this, man! If I can do it, you definitely can!” Hitoshi gives him a small smile of appreciation before walking through the doors himself. This was... a lot. It was a lot. He stopped in the middle of the performing area and looked at the judges. “Hello, handsome.”

“Midnight. Please.”

“Never, Aizawa.”

“I’m sorry for her lack of professionalism. Hello, what’s your name, where are you from, and why are you here?” Aizawa completely ignores Midnight and Hitoshi clears his throat. “Hi, I’m Hitoshi Shinsou, I’m 22 years old, and I’m from Tokyo. I’m here because my roommate convinced me to audition with him, but I also just really love music and it would be pretty nice to have my mom see me performing.”

“Aw, a family man. How sweet,” Midnight says and Hitoshi shrugs. “It would just be nice for her to see it before she... you know.”

“Is she sick?” Hawks asks, a small frown on his face. Hitoshi nods. “Yeah, she is,” he says, and there’s a sympathetic look on all the judge’s faces. Goddamn empaths. “Well, hopefully she gets to see this! I’m sure you’ll do great,” Toshinori says, giving him a reassuring smile and thumbs up. “What will you be singing today?”

“Um, I was actually planning on singing an original? If that’s okay?”

“That’s more than okay! Go for it,” Midnight says, and Hitoshi makes his way over to the piano. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you tell us what it’s called?” Aizawa asks. “It’s called The Pantaloon,” Shinsou responds, placing his hands on the keys. He starts playing away, hoping that what he sings for them is good enough. He had to shorten the song a bit, but it’s still pretty wordy, so he’s worried they won’t like it that much. He also knows that his style and voice in general is a little different, so he hopes they don’t hate it.

“Your grandpa died when you were nine. They said he had lost his mind. You have learned way too soon You should never trust the pantaloon.

Now it's your turn to be alone. Find a wife and build yourself a home. You have learned way too soon That your dad is now the pantaloon.

You are tired, you are hurt. A moth ate through your favorite shirt. And all your friends fertilize The ground you walk, Lose your mind.

You like to sleep alone, It's colder than you know, 'Cause your skin is so Used to colder bones. It's warmer in the morning, Than what it is at night. Your bones are held together by your nightmare and your frights.

You are tired, you are hurt. A moth ate through your favorite shirt. And all your friends, they fertilize The ground you walk. So lose your mind.

You are tired, you are hurt. A moth ate through your favorite shirt. And all your friends, they fertilize The ground you walk. Lose your mind.”

It’s funny how when you do something well, you forget how it went. Hitoshi finishes out the song, playing the last chord, hoping it went well but not really knowing since he kinda... blacked out...? Not really, but he doesn’t remember how it all went, so he hopes it went well. “Wow,” Midnight’s voice pulls him out of his head, and he looks over at the judges. “Literally what the hell, he’s the second person who auditioned who is better than me!” Hawks basically yells, throwing his hands up, the pen he had resting in them flying up and then coming back down to hit him on the head. Hitoshi can’t even pay attention to the fact that Hawks just assaulted himself because I’m sorry, did he say better than him?? He has 10 Grammy’s what the fuck does he mean better than him??

“What are the odds two kids like them would audition not just in the same season but on the same day not even forty minutes after each other?” Toshinori says, awe evident on his face. “It’s certainly rare, I can tell you that. Especially when it comes to actual songwriting ability, which it’s evident they have,” Aizawa says, and Shinsou’s breathing literally stops. Aizawa Shouta is his literal idol. And he just complimented his songwriting skills? What? “Well, Shinsou. I think I can say with confidence this isn’t the last time your mom is going to see you perform,” Midnight says, and Shinsou smiles. This is crazy. “You’ve got a future in the business kid, even if you don’t win, I see you in the top two with the other singer-songwriter we saw today. Easily,” Aizawa says, and Shinsou literally cannot believe what he is hearing. “Really?” he asks, disbelief in his voice. “Yes! Of course, after a performance like that in a room like this with a song like that, of course you’ll make it far in the competition! I’d bet you even make it to the top two with it!” Toshinori basically yells, and Shinsou scratches the back of his neck, letting out a flattered chuckle. “Thanks… thank you,” he says, and Aizawa picks up one of the tickets. “I’m just going to give this to you. I think we all agree that you’re a yes.”

Hitoshi goes and takes the ticket, thanking them again and again before walking back out the doors. He shows Kaminari the ticket, and Kaminari literally screams in his face. Full on shouts. “I FUCKING KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BRO!”

“Could you please be quiet? For once in your life? Just shh?”

[lilteamushroom]

Karasuno Team x reader pt 2

(I never expected so many people to like and want a part 2! It’s so long but it’s a good one!)

Part one:

Warnings: swearing??

The RV started up and began to move, you snickered as Ukai yelled at Tanaka and Hinata to sit their asses down. You sat on a small couch near a window next to kiyoko (Pfft let me get my gay ass outta here) Kiyoko, Suga and you talked about how long your family has had the beach house.  “My family used to go to this beach house every summer when I was younger. But as I got older we stopped going as a family and now it sits with no one living in it.” You explained to them.  “Though don’t worry about bugs and dust being in the house, my mom said she sent out some cleaners to make sure the house was clean and was stocked with food for us.” You told them.  “I wish we could do something for your parents, for doing all of this for us.” Suga sighed. You smiled “Oh don’t worry, I think someone actually using the beach house makes her very happy.” you reassured Suga.  “(Y/N), I heard you work at Ukai’s store.” Asahi chimed in. That caught you off guard. You knew they would find out and to be honest you were surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner. “Oh yeah! Its a lot of fun working there. And since the coach is my boss, it makes scheduling around practice and games much easier.” You stutter a bit.  “Thats so cool! Do you get free stuff?” Nighinoya asked from across the table.  “No- I wish I did. That would be so nice.” You say as you think of how awesome it would be to get free soda pop and sweets.

The rest of the ride there, wasn’t too bad. You put on a movie, which the guys voted on fucking The Spongebob movie. what. the. fuck. Not only that but they cheered and were so invested in the movie.

Crackheads. They are all crackheads.

The RV finally came to a stop, you looked out the window to see the old beach house from your childhood. 

They all gasped, maybe a bit dramatically. “Are you sure we are at the right place?” Daichi asked. You nodded. “This is it my friends.” you say to them as you grab your bags from under the seat. Everyone nearly jumped off the bus, you swore you watched Tanaka jump out of the window of the RV.  They all followed you to the front door.  “Wow! Is that a boat?!” Hinata asked. You nodded your head. “We can take it out sometime this week, if you want.” you offered him, he nodded happily. You pulled out the small key that had a flower key chain on it. You unlocked the door and let them inside. They all looked around in amazement. “The main room is big enough for everyone to sleep in, besides the other rooms aren’t guest rooms, the last I checked they were remodeled into a gaming room, a movie room, and a lounge/hangout area.”  “ (Y/N)!!! WHAT THE HELL.” Tanaka nearly screamed.  “WHAT?!” You yelled at him, trying your best to match his vocal range to mock him.  “THis is so CoOL!” he shouted. Ukai clapped his hands, “Set your bags down, and go get your swimsuits on.” Ukai instructed everyone. “Yes Sir!” Everyone yelled as their excitement filled the room. You went to the bathroom and changed into green plaid trunks and a yellow swim shirt. You went out to find you were one of the first people changed, which never happened. You were confused. Where was everyone else? You found them wandering the vacation house. Well you found them in pairs, first you found Hinata and Kageyama in the kitchen, then you found Tsukishima, Tadashi in the game room, Daichi, Suga and Asahi were in the lounge room, Kiyoko, Ukai an Takeda were on the back porch all sitting in on the lawn chairs put out there, Tanaka and Nishinoya were examining the boat under the deck. 

Once they were all done exploring the house, everyone met up on the beach at the volleyball net.  They underestimated how hard it actually is to play volleyball in sand. They kept slipping and falling, soon they caught on that you weren’t falling??  “ (Y/N)! How do you stay on your feet?” Hinata asked you. You smirked. “You gotta kinda, dig your feet in the sand, instead of being ontop of the sand-” You dug your foot into the sand, “-You’ll be more grounded.” You showed them. They caught on, not many falling anymore, though many still fell on their asses which was super funny to you. Nishinoya being the libero, kept face planting and getting a mouth full of sand. “Man! It sucks trying to catch the ball without getting sand in my mouth!” Noya complained.  “Maybe its because you suck.” Tanaka snickered. “Shut up! You keep on not even hitting the ball!” Noya defended.  “All right lets take a break!” Ukai yelled out. “Coach, can we go swimming?!” Hinata begged with Noya and Tanaka giving Ukai puppy eyes. Ukai sighed then smiled at them.  “Yeah sure. We are here to take a break.” Ukai laughed. Hinata, Noya, Tanaka cheered as they sprinted to the shore. Asahi came up to you “Are you gonna get in the water?” He asked. You shrug “Maybe. I’m not a huge swimmer, though I love to collect sea shells.” You say to him. “That sounds fun! I’ll come with you to look for sea shells!” Suga offered “Me too.” Kiyoko chimed in. Many of the boys splashed each other and played chicken fight. You sat high above the others on Daichi’s shoulders while Hinata was sitting on Asahi’s shoulder. You held Hinata’s hands, trying to push the other off. In the end Hinata got the upper and and Y E E T E D you into the ocean.  Everyone laughed and took turns playing chicken. Hinata and Asahi were the ones champions against everyone else. 

- - - - - - -

Soon the sun was setting and everyone was getting settled in for the night. The sea shells you got were set nicely on the window seal above the sink. The who team was sleeping in one big dog pile in the living room, in the kick ass fort they had built.  You went to brush your teeth when Nishinoya caught up with you in the bathroom. “When do you plan on telling the others about... Your secret?” He asked.  “I am tomorrow night when we sit around the fire for smores. I am nervous you know? Can you try to understand how I feel?” You asked him as you took his hand in yours. Noya felt his cheeks heat up from the contact of your hand in his. He nodded. “I’ll try my best (y/n)!” He smiled. You gave him a grin back as you let go of his hand and opened the door to the bathroom and locked it behind you. 

Your reflection looked back at you. You took off your binder that had been on for 10+ hours. You read online that you should only have it on for 6-8 hours and you shouldn’t bind when working out... You were breaking many rules when it comes to binding but it was your only way to be on the team without anyone raising any eyebrows. You stretched your hands above your head letting your chest and ribs stretch and be free. You threw on a tank top, sweatpants and a big hoodie to hide your breast size.  After getting ready for bed you went back to the living room to find the team chatting and nearly laying on top of each other. You smirked and jumped onto the pile of boys in front of you.  “Woah! (y/n)!” Tadashi laughed.  “You guys make a good pillow.” You chuckled as you laid your head on Suga’s leg. It was uncomfortable so you leaned up and wiggled your way to a small spot between Tanaka and Hinata. They all were shoulder to shoulder.  Even though they are dorks, they are family. They make your life so much better. Were you ready to tell them about everything? Or at least your gender.  Everyone kept talking til Ukai came in the room and inhaled. “GO TO BED.” He yelled then shuffled back to the room nearby. You couldn’t help but snicker before laying your head on Tanaka’s shoulder as a pillow.  You starred at the ceiling before finally dozing off to sleep.

- - - - - - - -

In the morning, you woke up 2 hours before everyone else. You wanted to make bread from scratch for them. You remembered as a child you would wake up in the morning to the smell of freshly baked bread filling the house. You wanted to do the same for the boys who took you in and made you part of their family. 

Noya shook Hinata.

“Bro bro. Do you smell that?” Noya asked. It took Hinata a minute to get himself out of his sleepy state. He sniffed the air.

“It smells like a Kneaders cafe. Like on Monday when all of the bread was just barely baked.” Hinata noted. Tanaka woke up and instantly smelled baked goods. He sprung out of bed and dashed to the kitchen.

You smiled at him when he came into the room.

“Good morning Tanaka. How are you doing?” You ask him.

“Good! What is the smell??” He asked quickly. The oven went off as you grabbed the oven mitts.

“Well everyone has been working hard so I decided to bake you guys fresh bread.” You smiled lightly as blush marks spread across your cheeks.

Tanaka grinned. “That sounds awesome!”

“I’m going to go get the rest of the team up.” You say to him “I’ll come with you!” He said as he grabbed your hand. You stood there in shook from the contact of his hand in yours. The blush on your face reddened.

“That looks pretty gay” tsukishima said from behind you coming into the room. You pulled away from Tanaka.

“Your gay four eyes!” You huff at him as you walk past him. Tanaka boomed in laughter behind you. “Dumbass. Shit like that can hive me away.” You mutter to him.

“What?! Your gonna tell the team tonight anyway.” He scoffs. You dart a glare at him as you both enter the main room where everyone was. You opened the blinds, and turned on the light.

“I made a surprise for you guys. I’m gonna make breakfast.” You inform them. Asashi groaned as he sat up. He raised his hand

“I’ll help you with breakfast (y/n).” He said as he yawned. You grinned at him. “That would be great! Thank you!” You beam at him. “The rest of you better be up in 15 minutes!” You almost hell at them. But you held back from yelling at them because you choose not to be a dick.

For now.

It had been 20 minutes and Daichi, Suga and Tadashi were still not awake. You smirked at Noya. “Wanna help me get the others up?” You asked him. “Always!” He grinned. “What you plan on doing?” Ukai asked. You looked at your cup on the counter. “I have an idea.”

You, nishinoya, and Hinata all held a cup of water as you and the rest of the team walked down the hall to the main room where you guys slept. You held your cup over Daichi’s head. You looked down on him like he was your victim. Nishinoya stood over Tadashi and Hinata over Suga. You counted down in a whisper.

Splash

The 3 of them yelled out from the sudden contact of water. The rest of you were laughing so hard that tears were forming in your eyes.

“Oi! What was that for?!” Daichi yelled.

“You weren’t up for breakfast.” You say to him almost coldly.

They apologized and got up for the day. They all changed into their swim suits when you said that it was time to take the boat out.

Noya was nearly bouncing off the walls when you got the keys out for the boat. Luckily you knew how to drive the boat. Everyone piled in as you started it up making sure it had enough gas. You drove it out fairly far the turned the key to turn it off.

“Alright guys! You can jump in and swim!” You say happily. Many of them jump in when a few stayed behind because they didn’t want to swim.

“Yo! (Y/N)!! Get in here!” Tanaka yelled waving at you from the water.

“Yeah (y/n)! Join us!” Hinata begged. You shrugged and got up from the drivers seat. You ran then jumped off the side of the boat your arms lifted in the air, your legs kicking off the deck to boost you into the air. It felt like time slowed down. Like when you go to hit the ball during a game. How you always were inspired by your teammates to do your best during a game.

You came back to reality when you hit the cold but refreshing water. The guys laughed as you reached the surface of the water. These guys were your best friends. You would do anything for them. Going through so many practice days and games. You get close to them after going through so much.

Once it got later into the day you drove the boat back and parked it. Though most of the team stayed at the beach and swam.

Soon they are going to find out your secret. Your stomach turned and did flips as you thought about tonight. When you would have to tell them who you really are. You were scared. What if they don’t accept you? What if they kick you off of the team. The only reason you go to karasuno high is for volleyball. If you got kicked off you would most likely move back into your parents house. Would they feel betrayed that you cheated the system and lied to them so you could be on a team? All these questions came to your head in waves. You forgot where you were for a while until Noya swam over to you then dunked you under water.

“(Y/n)!” He whined.

“Pay attention to me” he huffed. You stared to splash the salty water at him. “Is this the attention you wanted?” You laughed as you continued to pretend water bend at him. You swam away from him to get to shore so you could think more, of course Nishinoya followed you like a lost puppy would. You eyed Tanaka then he came over.

“Come with me for a walk.” You say to them. They nodded and followed you, walking along the shore, where the water would come up and tickle your feet every so often.

“What’s wrong (y/n)?” Nishinoya asked you. Your lip trembled. You tried to find the words.

“Well, I’m scared. I get this same feeling before a game.” You confess, your hands twiddling each other. “Scared? Of what?” Tanaka asked.

“Of tonight. I’m scared I’ll get kicked off the team. Or everyone will treat me different. I’m still the same (y/n). Or I dont know if they’ll be angry with me for lying to them for so long. Maybe they won’t want to be my friend. If that happens I will have to go back to having no friends and-“ you got cut off by Nishinoya putting a hand on your shoulder. He smiled.

“It’s okay (y/n)” he said gently. Which was weird to you because he was usually so loud. Your hand touched your cheek which was wet from tears you didn’t even know you were crying. They both brought you into a small group hug. “It’s all good (y/n)!” Tanaka laughed. “We still want you on the team. And if idiots like us still want you then I’m sure the rest of the team will too!” Tanaka encouraged. You nodded, whipping your tears away. “Thanks guys. I’m not as nervous for tonight. Still nervous but not as anxious.” You laughed. They nodded in excitement. “You got this (y/n)!” Noya cheered. You smiled from their enthusiasm.

“Thank you guys. I think I’m ready.” You say to them. They walk back to the beach house and saw the other boys some how managed to start a fire in the fire pit without setting everything on fire. “There are s’more things in the house and hot dogs of you guys are hungry.” You offer to them. They nodded and yelled at the same time as they rushed inside to grab the stuff. Ukai helped you move large logs around the fire for them to sit at.

“You ready for tonight kid?” He asked you. You didnt answer right away.

“If I’m being honest, I’m nervous. Beyond nervous. I’m scared the team won’t like me anymore.” You confess to him. He walked over to you and ruffled your hair.

“Know thing these crazies, they will accept you. Your an amazing player, and a valued member of this team. For the past 7 months you have earned a special place on this team. No matter if you were a boy, girl, black white, tall, short, this team will love you for who you are.” He tapped your forehead when he said the last part. You held in tears, wanted to hug Ukai. He truely was the best coach. You nodded to him. “Thank you coach.” You say softly. The stamped of boys came back with the s’more things and hot dog stuff. You all ate food over the fire as the sun went down. Soon it was dark. Everyone was chatting then their conversations went quiet. You made eye contact with Noya and Tanaka. They nodded to you. You were ready. You stood up. “There is something I haven’t been totally honest with you guys.” You started out. “I love this team and everyone on it. But this might change how you see me and how you play volleyball with me.” They looked at you with curiosity and a bit of confusion. “I’m... I’m a girl. Biologically I was born a female.” You confessed to them. Some were confused, some were shocked, some didn’t change there expression. “I was planning on not saying anything, but two morons walked in on me changing.” You glared at Nishinoya and Tanaka. They gave you a dorky smile. You took a breath and continued.

“I’m worried that me being a female will change how you view me and how you play with me. Or treat me for that matter. I’m still the same (y/n). The same one who cried with you, played with you, won games with you. I’m sorry I never told you guys.” You said to them. You wanted to run and hide under the covers of your bed, expecting them to yell or be disappointed. But there was silence. The silence was almost as bad as yelling.

“It’s fine if your a girl (y/n). It’s not a bad thing but why didn’t you join the girls volleyball team with michimiya?” Daichi asked. You tugged at your shirt then let it go.

“That has a bit of a story behind it. Before I came to Karasuno I went to an academy for weathly kids. They had a volleyball team but all the girls on the team joined to show off the skin tight booty shorts and the small tank tops. I joined a team to play, to gain friends, to win and to learn. All I got there was girls in skimpy outfits. I could have tried the girls team here but I didn’t want to take the chance so a little arrangement with my mom, a haircut and a binder I was a different person at a new school where no one knew who I was.” You say to them. Asahi nodded. Some still looked confused.

“The only ones who knew were the coach, and until 2 weeks ago Nishinoya and Tanaka found out.” You say to them.

Tadashi raised his hand. “What’s a binder? Sorry I feel kinda dumb for asking.” He admitted. You put your hands up “it’s okay!” You say to him Tanaka jumped up.

“It’s a wrap that goes around her boobs!” He explained loudly. You karate chopped his head

“Sit down dummy.” You say almost harshly to him. “That’s the basics of it. I wrap it around my chest so then I am flatter. Then I wear a bigger jersey so then my chest doesn’t show.” You take a breath.

“I hid this because I was scared.” Tears were filling your eyes but you didn’t let them fall.

“I was scared you were going to see me different and kick me off the team.”

Don’t let the tears fall. Do not let the tears fall.

“I didn’t have many friends before coming to Karasuno. You all are my best friends. The best people I have ever met.”

Dammit. The tears streamed down your cheeks.

“Please still let me be part of the team.” You cried bending over and bowing to them. Daichi approached you. He put a hand on your shoulder and waited for you to look up at him. You looked up and met his eyes, who had tears swelling in them too.

“You will always be accepted on this team, (y/n).” He said to you pulling you into a hug. Tadashi came up and hugged the both of you. Then Tanaka and Nishinoya. Then Hinata and Kageyama. The others followed through.

“We don’t want you to leave the team (y/n)!” Hinata cried. “Yeah don’t leave us!” Kageyama snapped. “We want you to stay.” Suga softly said. They all chimed in on how they wanted you still on the team. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You sobbed. Simple as that. All that emotion that you had been holding in? It was coming out right now. It was a good night. It ended well with your teammates accepting who you are. You were so happy.

Now the question is, who falls in love with you, or gets blushy when ever your around?

[justforshitsandcackles]

funny prompts

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.”

“Somebody needs to shut up.” 

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?”

“That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other.”

“I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.”

“It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.”

“Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but...no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.”

“Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. let me grab my machete.”

“We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.”

“I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?”

“Tying my shoe.”

“You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit...i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.”

“well i mean-”

“whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

Once again, these are loosely categorized as funny.

admin Charlie💕