#i love these!!!!

[bharv]

A head canon of everyone’s coffee shop drink:

Gale: Cortado Ristretto. Man can tell you the nuances of acidity and soil in coffee bean production. He will stand there and talk to the barista about it, completely forgetting that a line has formed behind him.

Shadowheart: She orders a black coffee for both efficiency and appearances but in her heart what she wants to order is a caramel drizzle frappe with whipped cream.

Lae’zel: Orders a black coffee because she genuinely likes it and has one of those palettes that naturally likes bitter flavors.

Astarion: A Red Eye. He’s very smug about it too. He will not let you see how much sugar he dumps into it once he’s away from the counter.

Wyll: A gentleman who already knows what his order is when he gets to the counter, says please and thank you and makes eye contact with the barista while he orders a perfectly respectable latte with oat milk bc he has Hot Girl IBS.

Karlach: a GIANT iced americano with a couple of packets of Splenda or whatever holiday themed syrup has just been released.

Bestie you are so fucking accurate with these (also I am still not escaping the Femme Gale accusations because that is my order too. And also what I make at home in my espresso machine with my single origin roast from a local micro batch roaster)

Outrageously good!!

[apollos-boyfriend]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

staff: our april fools joke this year is a silly feature that doesn't really do anything but give you a button to boop other users! they have to opt-in first though :)

me:

[skipppppy]

I think she’d respect his methodology

[lanndscape]

[stillgotscars]

this part of stevie nicks’ interview with rolling stone is taking me out

[foldingfittedsheets]

Back in 2017 I signed up for one of the Cards Against Humanity sillies and did their Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Basically they were like fuck Tr*mp and his border wall and used the funds from the campaign to buy land and to make all 150,000 contributors part owners of said land across the US/Mexico border.

It was fun and silly and I got a little certificate.

Today I got an email that Elon Musk illegally annexed that land for SpaceX and that CAH are suing him over it. So possibly I’ll get like $100 if they manage to win a lawsuit and stick it to Musk. It’s like even more bang for my original buck.

[captain-will]

rocky rocky rocky ROCKYYY @rockydrawz LOOKKKKKKK

The Magnus Archives Dashboard Simulator

🕷️ arachnophobia-incarnate Follow

Oh my god oomfies you’ll never believe what I just found

1,937,328 notes

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

HELP THERES A DOG ON MY DESK???

2 notes

🫖 poet-tea Follow

HELP I JUST LET MY DOG INTO MY BOSS’S OFFICE??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

🛶 timtimothy Follow

LMAOOOOO

176 notes

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

I think there’s a wasp’s nest in my attic. I’m gonna go check it out.

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

Do you hear that

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

This is kind of a bop actually

☕️ ihavenohotcocoa Follow

op? op are you ok

2,332 notes

🎭 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

going on a date tomorrow! 😀

🛶 timtimothy Follow

haha what.

🛶 timtimothy Follow

can you repeat that op

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op?

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op can you repeat that

57 notes

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

I love my job. Everything just goes according to plan exactly how I want it to.

📖 bookluvr Follow

Hi

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

hey sorry for this but you wouldn’t happen to have seen a lead pipe lying around would you?

80 notes

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

does anyone have any skin? For no reason whatsoever of course. Like if you just have it lying around. Out of use.

🌀 funhousemirrorman Follow

why do you need skin

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

wouldn’t you like to know, door boy

101 notes

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

is there wifi down here

⚰️ wakelyupwhenimdead Follow

no

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

HELLO?? HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

I CAN! I CAN HEAR YOU

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

Oh. You.

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

What. What does that mean

142 notes

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

I can sense a promotion coming soon I’m so excited !!!

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

are you SERIOUS

🛶 timtimothy Follow

I’m going to kill that old man with my bare hands HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO YOU QUEEN

162 notes

👤 averagescarehater Follow

WHYYY IS THE SKY LOOKING AT MEEEE

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

my bad

200 notes

[marisatomay]

This Pride I hope that all of you never ever forget that no amount of sanitizing your sex life or sanding down of your LGBT edges will make bigots accept you. So, don’t debase yourself by capitulating an inch to them, especially in ways that throw your fellow community members under the bus.

[nerdy-arty]

Venezuelan Miku!!

[fraternum-momentum]

do u ever just

[so-many-ocs]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

[rottenfleshnbones]

i care btw. i care abt the song ur listening to or the bug u saw or how u just got outta the shower or how ur happily hanging out w ur friends or how ur kinda sad or how good was the meal u just had or ur fav character from an indie game nobody knows or if u chugged down some water. i always will

[gwenlena]

hello tumblr

[yiga-hellhole]

me when i have like 20 notifications in the span of five minutes and when i go check its just the same guy rapidfire liking and reblogging posts