#i love them together so dearly that i forget other partners exist for them

[ramblesbiab]

Nearly a year ago, I had several headmates. Their names were Lily, Gia, and Ash.

Nearly a year ago, I had a severe mental breakdown, because I couldn't handle having multiple people in my head.

Nearly a year ago, I had the most difficult conversation of my life, with people I miss dearly. There are times where I can accept that it was for the best, and that they all insisted they understood and would gladly merge to help ensure my mental health. But there are also times like today.

Nearly a year ago, I lost three of my best friends, and I hate that I've barely ever talked about them because of how much of the world would never except that they even existed. So today I'm putting something out so the world knows their names.

Ash was the one who kept us in line, and she was great at it. She loved sewing. She was a lamia, and I wish so deeply that I could've provided her that body. She was wonderful.

Gia was like a mother sometimes, and like a sister others. She didn't front often, but we had a lot of amazing conversations. She was a deergirl, with an adorable set of antlers. She was amazing.

And Lily. It's hard to put into words how I feel about Lily. They were a genderfluid puppyboy, and they radiated the most fun, lovely energy I think I've ever felt. He was my partner, and I doubt I'll ever forget the nights we shared together. I slept so well when I knew they were lying next to me, even if it wasn't physical.

I love all of you, wherever you may be. I would it could've worked. I wish I had the power to give you all bodies and give you the lives you dreamed of having.

But I can't.

Nearly a year ago, it felt like I lost everything. But I've continued to live, as they wanted me to.

Rest in peace, Ash, Gia, and Lily. You will always be missed. <3

[iturbide]

Oh ok! Just was curious. Who do you ship Henry with the most? For me, its usually Tharja but his supports with Brady are adorable so Maribelle too.

Personally, my preferred partner for Henry is Olivia!  While I might not be a fan of Inigo, I love Henry’s supports with Olivia, and the way she sees through his smiles and recognizes them for the mask they are, going so far as to try helping him find other ways to express himself beyond forcing a smile through everything up to and including pain.  She doesn’t do it because she has to: she does it because she recognizes a pain in him that he’s buried so deep that he’s forgotten it’s not normal, and she wants to help him process the trauma he’s suffered, starting small by teaching him how to get in better touch with his feelings.  The way he breaks when he thinks he failed to dispel the hex on her is such a moving thing for me, because it means that Olivia succeeded: she managed to reach him, and helped him break the mask that he’s been wearing for longer than he likely remembers.  

Also, while I might not be a fan of Inigo in general, having Henry as his father does add some pretty heartbreaking context to his constant smiling: Inigo probably remembers his father’s ever-cheerful grin, and Henry’s last words to his son were probably encouragement to smile as much as he can, because sometimes that’s all it takes to keep people going. 

[im-a-gaymess]

How do I tell him?

Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.

7th Year.

Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.

Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).

Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.

Word Count: 1786

A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share

[1:42 AM]

"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.

You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.

And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.

If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.

For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.

But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.

Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.

"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.

"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.

"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.

[Following day, 4:27 PM]

Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?

But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.

Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.

Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.

[5:54 PM]

What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.

You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?

Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.

[6:11 PM]

To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.

"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.

That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.

It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.

"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.

He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.

He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?

"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.

You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.

That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.

You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.

The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.

Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.

You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.

That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.

And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.

Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.

════════════════════

Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.

"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.

"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.

"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.

Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"

The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.

The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.

Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.

You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.

Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.

Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.

"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.

He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐛 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

A— Abnormal (what makes them different?)

What makes Ranbob different from you is that fact that you are human while he is not. He is a literal semi-half enderman while he he is also a semi-half unknown hybrid. He finds himself pretty dangerous to you since he thinks that one day he will harm you in some way and it's just gonna make him fill up with so much guilt.

B— Bad Habits (what bad habits do they have?)

Ranbob has a bad habit of scratching his arms which results in many new scars and sometimes he would actually scratch so much that it will start bleeding. This would actually worry you a lot about him thinking why he does it but you do know it pains him a lot and would help him patch it up.

C— Crying (what makes them cry?)

The only thing that makes Ranbob cry is when he has nightmares about you dying in different ways which could either be by his own hands or by something or someone else. This does cause him to wake up with a jolt and there was a time when he accidentally woke you up by jolting too much from a nightmare and this made you worried and comforted him.

D— Death (How do they die? With family or alone? How does their partner find out?)

Ranbob's death was basically a cause of his enderwalk state which he couldn't control and he was slightly out of control but one side of him was fighting to escape it and the only way was to kill himself off which you didn't want but you had to let it happen. It would be a pretty selfish act for him considering he will be leaving you but the one thing he will know is that you are safe and that's what matters the most but you wouldn't even leave his dead body and just continue crying in place.

E— Emotion (what's the emotion they tend to push away the most?)

Ranbob tends to push away his fears the most. He doesn't want you to worry and there are times when he would let fear come back to him and he hates showing it a lot in front of you but you keep telling him not to considering we all fear something but Ranbob has his reasons.

F— Frustrated (how much would it take to push them off the edge?)

If you annoy Ranbob when he's not having a good day to the point he breaks, he will lash out completely and would attack without thinking and when he sees you hurt his anger will wash away and get replaced with fear and regret and would apologize so many times that he would just start crying.

G— Gullible (who are they most gullible to and why?)

Himself. Ranbob has changed for the better because of you and he thinks he can just let go off his past mistakes and move on. But that's where he is wrong considering he has voices sometimes saying negative things and reminding him off his past wrong doings. He knows he did those things and he has no excuse for it. He hates himself for this.

H— Humiliation (someone says something humiliating about them)

"Freak!"

He basically knew that it was directed at him but he looked like he didn't care on the outside but on the inside he was slightly hurt. He doesn't show it. You on the other hand who was with him and heard someone yell this out to him were not having it and gave out a snarky reply to the man that legit shut him up. Ranbob's happy that you stood up for him but deep down he's still hurt and you can tell he is behind that indifferent expression.

I— Insecure (what are their insecurities?)

How he looks. Honestly he looks like he doesn't care but his insecurities have a way of crawling back to him about how he looks. I mean he is slightly scary at first which he isn't a fan of but he's actually a nice guy once you get to know him but it's still a thing for him which he can't let go at all.

J— Jealous (what makes them feel jealous?)

When someone flirts with you. He will literally glare down at the person by holding your waist and standing behind you while he looks at the person flirting dead in the eye and he is like a few seconds away from killing them too if they don't hurry up and run.

K— Knife (how do they feel about hurting others?)

Ranbob used to hurt whoever came to Mizu cause he did kill a lot of people who previously came before you did. Now he just doesn't like it but there are times when he looks at a sword he gets weird hallucinations of it being slightly covered in blood and it will really throw him off and make him drop it before picking it up later on.

L— Love (who was their first love? Was it returned? How did it end?)

Well his first and last love would be you and yes it was returned and you guys are still in a relationship with each other. Ranbob loves you dearly but fears he will hurt you. You love him a lot more than he knows.

M— Mindfulness (what calms them down when they're feeling anxious or depressed?)

When Ranbob holds onto you or when you hug him, all his anxiousness goes away and it also helps him come from his depressive episodes. Usually it would sometimes be the other way but it also come in this way too.

N— Nightmare (do they have them? How often? What's their reaction, and what are they about?)

Ranbob has nightmares most of the time but not all the time and they would mostly be about you either leaving him or dying in his hands or some other way and he always jolts awake with small tears forming in his eyes and would look around to see that you are safe and not harmed and that's what calms him down but he is slightly scared to fall asleep again but he does anyways with zero nightmares.

O— Obsess (what they're obsessed with that you might judge them for? What's their "weird" obsession?)

The fact that Ranbob legitimately looks up to Dream and that Dream is his idol he just thinks that the way he worships him may weird you out but you don't find it weird at all but he just thinks otherwise without your knowledge. I wouldn't say he's obsessed but it looks like it in front of other people.

P—Pressure (what stresses them out to the breaking point?)

Blood happens to stress him out to his breaking point cause it always reminds him of how he killed people with no mercy and it just makes him lose it sometimes that he would break down at times with his negative voices throwing in things altogether.

Q— Quirks (what's one of their quirks they consider a flaw that you like?)

Sometimes Ranbob feels like having heterochromia is a flaw considering not many people have them and the fact that's it's pretty uncommon but you seem to love them and would always find them pretty which would make Ranbob smile knowing you love them and he tries to like them too.

R— Repressed (what memories do they repress or they wish they could forget?)

Ranbob wants to forget his wrong doings from the past where he killed off the many people that came down here but it just seems to come crawling back to him and he hates it and just wants it gone for good.

S— Sorrow (would they feel empty after the death of a loved one?)

Ranbob would completely shut down after he sees you die in front of him. He would just cry for hours and would blame himself for not being able to help your nor protect you at all and the guilt happens to increase and eats him up bad.

T— Time (what if they had a limited time to live?)

Ranbob would make the most out of it by being with you. He would do anything in his power to do the things you love and go on out for walks and other things you both love doing together. He would hate to leave you alone when his time is up and you would just be felling empty without him.

U— Umbrage (what pisses them off? What offends them?)

What pisses him off the most is when people flirt with you cause it makes him jealous and would be on the verge of killing them. At this point nothing offends him but if someone says something offensive about him, he won't hesitate to bring out that netherite sword and scare the person off.

V— Vent (how do they let things out after a bad day?)

When it comes to venting out things after a bad day, Ranbob would stay away from you as far as possible so he doesn't hurt you at all considering the way he lets out his anger is by punching things like the wall or sometimes throwing something which won't break. It does scare you a bit but you would cautiously come up to him and hug him to make him calm down which works well.

W— Weakness (what is their personal weakness?)

Ranbob's weakness would be you but not in a bad way or anything. If something were to happen to you, he would become pretty vulnerable. He would do anything in his power to protect you even if it meant sacrificing himself in order to do that.

X— X-Double-Minus (random sad headcanon)

One time, Ranbob was venting out his anger like a lot like he usually does but this time it was a bit too much. You on the other hand tried to calm him down but he was slightly blinded with anger that he accidentally pushed you away by clawing your cheek made you fall backwards on the floor slightly hard but not so much. Ranbob's anger immediately washed away once he saw what he did and all that got replaced with fear, regret and guilt which cause him to apologize so many times and a panic attack. You came up to him and hugged him to calm him down and tell him that it's alright and that you know he never meant it which slightly helps.

Y— Yearn (what is one thing they want that they know they can't have?)

The one thing Ranbob wants is to reverse time and fix his mistakes but he knows that it's impossible and he has to live with the amount of guilt and regret he has with him. But he knows he has you that will help him along the way.

Z— Zoophobia (is there any animal/bug/creature that scares them?)

Ranbob is legitimately an enderman hybrid and what bugs do endermen despise or gets scared off? The answer is endermites. He's not a huge fan of them in general and is kind of glad that they don't exist anywhere near him cause if it did he would lose it.

[ginnywasafriendofmine]

So I wrote this last night while wondering if things could have turned out differently if James Potters parents had survived. It evolved in a way I didn't expect (Euphemia Potter, where have you been hiding?) It's not finished either, but here is what I have so far...

They lived

When Fleamont Potter first felt the stirrings of pain, deep in his chest-he ignored it. He was no healer, and it was to be expected in his age after all. He ignored it when he felt it flutter through his spine, passed it off as a working hazard when he felt a pang in his knees. (He shouldn’t have been fiddling with that old cauldron anyways).

But when his wife said to him, almost idly at the fireside-

“Will you remind me to owl Healer Robbins in the morning? I had a strange pain in my shoulder earlier, and it doesn’t seem to have gone away just yet.”

Fleamont looked at his wife, her hands quick and nimble as they laced glimmering threads through soft fabric. He looked at his wife, and saw his life’s love before him. He saw the dark eyes that had drawn him to her, the sharp wit of her tongue and the power and grace he knew not. He saw beyond her greying hair and the fine lines that told stories of their joy, and saw the life they had built. The garden they had cultivated, the business that had flourished beneath their feet, the son who had his mothers eyes as well as her spirit, her spark, her joy. 

Fleamont looked at his wife, his partner and knew that the world would be just that dimmer without her.

“Actually dear, I think we should owl them tonight.”

Their young son, his dark head of hair ducking under the mantle as he arrived, joined them at St. Mungos, his glowing wife at his side, her fingers weaving knots into her robes. James paled as he watched the Healers gather around the ones who had given him life, and he rushed to call his brother to his side, their dark heads bowed together as they sat in the crowded little waiting room. 

So Fleamont saved his wife, but he died that Thursday afternoon with his little family gathered at his bedside, his last act of love surviving without him. 

Lily Potter may have danced with her new father-in-law at her wedding, his beaming smile as bright as the candles flickering around them but it was to her husband's mother, alone, that she passed her newborn baby to.

Harry Fleamont Potter felt a fitting tribute, and James was sure he wasn’t imagining the tears sparkling in his mothers eyes.

Harry learned to walk through his grandmother's begonias, the ones that, in another life he may have walked towards his namesake. Or in another life, he would not know existed at all. 

When the war which had brewed around them throughout their adolescence came knocking at their door, James cloistered his young family into Godric's Hollow, leaving his mother alone at the Manor where he had frolicked and grown and on one fine summer's day wed his now targeted wife. 

James did not apologise to his mother as he kissed her goodbye. He didn't need to. 

Her second son, the one whose hair was as Black as his name, as black as the scorch mark his birth mother had left in his wake, loped through the wards every few days. Neither of them dared voice the hope, that courageous flighty thing that had found a home within their chests as they sipped their tea, watching sunsets that should have been savoured. 

But they did dare to hope, they dared to trust. And James Potter, who may have his mothers eyes and her spirit, also had his fathers unwavering loyalty. He trusted the wrong man.   

(and their protection fell, shocks of green light rang through the air, and a boy who had found love and joy in the presence of his first friend, found his worst nightmare come to life instead as he rushed through the air on a motorbike he would soon hand away). 

And the dog chased the rat, and the rat knew how to disappear when all the dog knew how to do was grieve. 

Fleamont’s last act of devotion didn’t change the fact that Euphemia woke up on November 1st with an intrinsic feeling of dread. When she opened the door she wasn’t faced with a scarred orphan as a shrieking Petunia Dursley was three counties over, but with the weary and regretful eyes of the men in red robes who had come to symbolise loss in their world. 

Euphemia managed to hold it together, her head held high until they used the words ‘Death Eater’ and ‘Sirius Black’ in the same sentence. Only then did she start to laugh, that horrible haunting laugh that only Blacks could. For Euphemia may have looked like her mother who had grown up across the world, but she was still a Black.

The two men, who had expected a feeble old woman and had gotten a glimpse of true Black madness did not think to question her when she demanded an escort to the Ministry. For her dear, kind son and his brave and bright wife would have to wait, their bodies still and cool as they would be for eternity, for it was her second son who needed her now. Her second son who sat in a stone cell and had cried himself to sleep.

For all that Remus-scarred, sweet, lonely and heartbroken-thought it was Sirius still, Euphemia knew her son. She knew he couldn’t be responsible for this. She also knew the look in a boy’s eyes when envy and greed had made its way deep into his heart, and she had seen it on Peter Pettigrew’s face one too many times to be as trusting as her dearly departed son.

With the power of her husband's name and his wealth she bullied an unsuspecting Barty Crouch into a trial the very next day, where a relieved Remus sat beside her, shaking while she was still. Later Sirius had wept apologies into her cloak, his regret tangible and as dark as his hatred for the man he had once called a brother. 

Sirius did not spend his 22nd birthday as he had planned, holed up with three Potters, being plied with cake and butterbeer, but he spent it screaming at the man he had once called a leader, at the man whose heart may have been heavy with regret, but whose hands still meddled in places he ought not to touch. 

The day after they gathered in Godric’s Hollow and watched a pair of twin coffins lowered into the fresh earth.

(While miles away, Harry cried for his mother and wondered why this woman who did not resemble anyone he knew had hands as sharp as her beady eyes).

Euphemia had saved her son from twelve years in Azkaban, but that did not mean she was going to leave the precious boy that had somehow survived, her husband's namesake, with a woman who had hated her own sister nearly as much as she had once loved her. 

Euphemia hadn’t expected Dumbledore to interfere. 

Dumbledore had expected Euphemia to acquiesce once he had explained with words like blood protection, and love sickly sweet on his tongue.

But she did not. 

Perhaps, in another world-one where Fleamont survived the night that his dear wife did, this would have played out differently. Quieter perhaps.

But Euphemia was different from Monty. She had grown up having to hold her head up, high, above the snickers and the stares and the comments. She had grown up between two worlds; not white enough, not dark enough. Having to make space for herself in a world that did not know what to do with her. 

When she first visited her family in India it wasn’t the overwhelming feeling of joy, she had expected, but rather a deep, dark loss in her soul. A wanting, a longing, a missing she would never truly understand. The colours were just as vivid, the smells just as enchanting, the sounds, the streets filled with life. But Mia had grown up across the world, where she’d had to learn to pronounce her r’s just so, how to preen, and dress and and hide so much of herself away that she’d never really found it again. Mia had grown up with a mother who was just as much a British citizen as everyone else around them, but different in a way they would never understand. 

(It was only when she met a man with eyes as deep as the ocean, and a smile that made her feel like she could soar did she feel she was coming out of the seams. Bit by painstaking bit). 

So yes, Monty, with his lineage and his old money and his class wouldn’t have dared, his fight would have taken place quietly, behind the scenes, where there was no fuss, no ruckus. 

But Monty wasn’t here anymore, and Mia had spent her life being quiet. 

So she raged, and stormed and threw herself into a battle with the most powerful man in Wizarding Britain. She argued her way through the courts, through countless politicians, secretaries and bureaucrats who she had spent her life kowtowing to when she was nothing but an immigrant's daughter with no power they could understand. 

And she won.

The snow had just begun to stick, and the lights were up in the neighbors windows when her grandson finally came home to her, with a trembling lip and a scarred forehead.

Euphemia Potter held him close - his hair smelt just like James had, when he was little, when her entire world could fit in her arms-and then passed him to her other son. The one who hadn’t been born from her, but who she loved just the same.  

They’d both had something taken from them, something ripped away with a cold curse and a flash of light, and she knew that only they could understand each other now. So Mia stayed in her opulent and empty house, and Sirius settled in the South Wing at the room that had always been his, his godson slumbering safely in his arms. 

That first Christmas was as dark as the words carved into stone back in Godric's Hollow. Two men who had to learn to trust each other again and a woman who many had expected to break by now. Only Harry’s laugh, his smile, his sparkling eyes could light up their bleak and unforgiving day. 

So Harry forgot the mean, cold woman who stared at him like something she would rather forget, and spent the spring with his grandmother as she planted flowers, her fingers quick and nimble as they had always been. He spent it with his godfathers-both of them-while one suffered each month as he always had, but whose love for Harry never wavered, and the other finally grew up.

For in this world Sirius Black did not wile away his years counting his regrets as he counted the bars on his cells. In this world he strategised, he built battle plans with the same fervour and determination he might have used to sliver between those bars as a shaggy, black dog. He focused on wiping out the forces that had taken so much of the light from their world. 

But he did not do this alone. For in losing one brother, he had gained another back. 

Regulus Black did not go to die in the cave that dark day in October of 1979. He would still be brave, and fierce, and full of righteous anger, but he did not die alone and afraid. Regulus Black had been in St. Mungos that summer, regretfully rejecting his prized and hard worked offer of a place as a Healer. 

Regulus Black had been there. He had seen his brother-the one who he missed as much as Petunia Evans missed her own sister-pale and weary with grief. He had seen him stumble in the corridor from Fleamont Potters room, the loss deeply etched in his face. 

Grief is the price we pay for love.  

Regulus had watched his brother, and wondered if perhap there were things worth living for-as much as they were worth dying for.

So despite what his mother, and the Dark Lord, and about every other Black relative wanted him to do-A Healer? How plebian. Regulus Black did what he had always yearned to, and was brave. He tore the rejection letter from the secretaries fist, and asked, with a weak attempt at his brothers bravado;

“What day do I start?”

So Regulus had taken a different path, a path that was still hard-for the road to hell was still paved with good intentions. 

Regulus stood with his head held high above the looks and snide comments-from both his Death Eater cohorts and his fellow trainees. But the Dark Lord could not touch him, could not stray him from this path, for the vow that was taken on his first day of orientation had sworn him to the Healing service, and even Tom Riddle knew some vows could not be broken.

Regulus Black had taken a different path (though the knowledge of the Horcrux and the unrelenting question of what/when/how still lingered) and was finishing up his rotation in the children’s ward when his long lost brother rushed in, a feverish child in his arms, and panic wreaking havoc in his young face.

“Please, I don’t know what’s wrong-I-I, he wouldn’t eat, and now he’s warm, too warm, and I-”

“Hand him to me.”

And Sirius had passed over the child he thought of as a son to a man he didn’t recognise and saw a boy he had once known. 

“I-Reggie-?”

But Regulus had always been good at his job. Even the other trainees, who glowered at him through the corridors as they once had in Hogwarts could not deny this. Regulus saw the brother whose approval he had always craved, but he did not think of it now. Regulus only looked at the child who lay shivering before him, and set to work.

Dragon Pox may have taken Fleamont Potter, but Regulus Black’s quick mind and steady hands ensured that his namesake did not follow in this regard. Sirius had cried tears of relief, and Remus had shaken Regulus’ hand so hard it felt bruised.

By now Harry had spent as much time without his parents as he had with them, and his loss would have taken his family to a place they could not return

Once Harry had settled, Mia Potter at his bedside and Remus Lupin fetching the blanket that Harry reached for every night, did the two brothers talk.

They spoke of nothing that had lingered deep in their minds, and their hearts in the years since the older one had departed.

“A Healer, huh?” Sirius Black tried to hide his surprise. 

Regulus bit back the 'You once told me I was good at Healing spells' and managed a smile. "Yes, coming on four years now.” 

Regulus felt young in his brother's presence (even if they were both the same height now).

“That’s… really great.” Sirius smiled, looking close to proud. 

“That's James son, isn't it?” Regulus asked, and watched the darkness flicker in his brothers eyes again.

“You can tell by the hair, huh?”

Really he could tell by the way Sirius looked at the boy-the same way he had always looked at James-but he smiled at his brother's attempt at humor anyways.

When the little family left two days later, a chagrined Sirius mumbled something out that was close to an invitation-coffee? Do you drink coffee? As he left St. Mungos, his beloved godson giggling in his arms. 

Regulus watched and wondered if perhaps he had gotten his brother back. If his brother would walk away from him again.

(He would, once he found out about the paradoxical life his brother led, a Healer who moonlights as a Death Eater. The life of one who fixes scars and curses he recognises, the life of one who is vowed to both worlds even as they threaten to pull him apart at the seams). 

But this time he would come back. And not on accident, stumbling in with a sick child, but with a determination for history not to repeat itself. 

For this Sirius Black knew about the transformative power of second chances.

Harry Potter grew up at his grandmother's elbow, learning about his culture, his heritage. What was left of it. Some had been lost to time, others to the journey made from Delhi to here. The rest to the pressure of a world who didn’t want girls with dark skin and a determined glint in her eye. 

But in this world Harry knew who he was. Where he had come from. What had been lost so he could live. And oh, did he live. 

He lived in the same trees and lakes his own father had made his kingdom at his age, he lived in the books his Moony shared with him-Moony, who watched as identical green eyes skimmed over the same pages he had seen a flame-haired girl devour. He lived in the adventures, the wild reckless stories and pursuits of his Padfoot. He lived in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her bake roti in between English cakes of lemon drizzle and his favourite treacle tart. 

Harry lived, and he knew what it was to be loved. 

(After all, a boy must live so he can learn to die. 

And even now, even here, Harry still had to be the boy who learned to walk to his death).

[taetaespeaches]

“I still choose you every single day.”

seokjin x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 2.1K

a/n: Hi, lovelies! Here’s a minor angst, mostly fluff piece to end your weekend with. This takes place about two days after their big fight in “I want to be happy about this but I’m just so angry”. Though they resolve the fight in “Love, we need to talk” this drabble deals with the remaining emotions and tension. As always, I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

WATCHING Jin sleep next to you, you wished you could keep him in that peaceful of a state forever. You’d been watching him take extra care of you the past couple days, choosing every word and action carefully as he tried to prove himself to you. His unconscious state each night was the only break he got from your mental burdens he always carried on his shoulders as if it was his responsibility to do so.

He had fallen asleep while you were spooning him, but you couldn’t fall into the same slumber. You stared at his back and you felt like soothing your hands across it, but you didn’t want to wake him.

The expanse of his back was large, his shoulders strong and wide. But it had to get tiresome carrying around his own worries, much less yours, didn’t it? And you had only added to the load, giving him more concerns.

There is a sense of responsibility you feel for a person when you love them so dearly. Their struggles are yours, and yours theirs. But part of that responsibility includes protecting each other’s happiness. It’s hard to come to terms with the realization that you aren’t contributing to your loved ones’ happiness, but are rather hindering it.

If only you could go back to two days ago. If only you could control your irrationalities.

Quietly and slowly, you peeled the blankets off your form, gently getting out of the bed. Creeping to the doorway, you turned to look at Jin still sleeping before you exited the bedroom. You continued your careful steps down the hallway as you made your way to the sofa.

As you sat in silence, staring out your window at the night sky, you thought about your recent fight with Jin. The idea of him not loving you seemed silly now, but you knew the feelings were very real at the time. But were those feelings conjured by his way of loving you or your way of receiving the love?

Sitting alone with your regrets, you started to realize it was on you. Of course you both were different and needed to meet each other in the middle more, but the big issue weighing on your mind was your own mental health and how it affected your relationship. Jin was an independent man, and he always had been, even when you were just friends. It never really bothered you unless you were having a rough time individually. That’s when the doubts crept in. And that wasn’t Jin’s fault.

A shadow appeared in the living room, silhouetted by the bright moon shining through the window, making you turn to look at Jin standing above you with messy bed hair and puffy eyes.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice quiet and husky.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you told him, watching as he pouted at you.

“Can I sit with you?” He asked, you smiling in response to his cuteness.

You patted the cushion next to you. “Come here, my love.” He sat down, immediately resting his head against your shoulder as you both stared out the window at the street lights that shined above the empty boulevards. You always loved the feeling of stillness in the very early hours of the morning. The outside world almost ceased to exist after 2 am.

Jin breathed deep and slow against your body and for a moment you almost thought he had fallen asleep. The poor man had been bending over backwards the last two days, trying to assure you and heal your wounds that he wasn’t even responsible for in the first place. It was heartbreaking seeing him try so hard to show something you both already knew he felt.

Just as you thought you were sure he was asleep, he rested his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly in his grasp. The roughness from the bandage on his pointer finger lightly scratched your skin, reminding you of the wound he’d received picking up the glass you broke two days earlier.

He insisted on picking up the glass from the tumbler you dropped and received a laceration on his finger pad. It turned out the injury was deeper than you both initially thought and kept bleeding for most of the day before, resulting in Jin having to change the bandage multiple times.

You gently ran your own pointer finger over the top of the bandage on the opposite side of the wound. “Does it still hurt?”

“Huh? No,” he shook his head, giving your leg another squeeze as if it proved he was healed. “I mean, not really, just a numb pain.” You lightly lifting his hand from your leg to study the digit. “It’s not bleeding anymore,” he told you. “Just a little sore.”

You hummed in thought. The wound wasn’t bleeding, but the pain was still there. Even if just a dull ache that was easily pushed aside in the busyness of the day, when things calmed down, the pain made itself known with a small throb.

When you shattered into pieces right in front of him, he attempted to collect your shards and he got cut. He put on a brave face, your man, but you knew that when everything slowed down, he was left with the lingering pain of your doubt.

Your unfounded skepticism in his love was pulling him apart, no matter how strong he tried to appear. You had projected your insecurities onto him and he absorbed them deep beneath his skin. You’d given him wounds, and maybe they weren’t bleeding, but they were solidifying into a little scar of remembrance.

“What are you thinking?” He asked you in a voice so quiet it was barely audible in the silence of the living room.

“You’re hurt,” you told him, dragging your finger tip along his knuckles as you kept your stare on his hand.

He leaned toward you, pressing his lips to your cheek bone. “Hardly,” he whispered against your face just before leaving a second sweet kiss. Resting his forehead against your temple, you sighed.

“No, I hurt you,” you told him, Jin pulling his head back to look at you in confusion, you slowly turning to meet his gaze. “I’m supposed to the one protecting you and here I am cutting you.”

Jin shook his head in negation. He knew what you meant but he refused to hear it. “The glass cut me, not you.”

“Jin,” you breathed out.

“What?” He asked you, suddenly looking much more awake than a few moments ago.

“Stop,” you whispered.

“Stop what?” He asked in confusion.  

“Stop tiptoeing around me and just,” you paused for a small moment, Jin staring at you intently. “Just say something, yell at me, tell me how much I hurt you, I don’t know, just do something.”

“I don’t want to yell at you,” he told you, his eyebrows pulling together as his eyes traveled your face. You stared at him feeling pitiful for putting him through this. “I don’t.” You wanted to shake him until his held back words and pent up emotions came tumbling out. Even if the words came out as daggers, you wanted them.

He sighed, sitting up a bit as he took your hands in his. “I need you to understand this, ok?” He asked you, you staring at him attentively. “I love you, of course I do, and I have for a long time, but what’s even more important than that is I choose you. That’s a conscious decision I make each day.”

You felt tears prick your eyes at the words and his intense expression softened just a bit.

“We’re not so naïve to actually think that loving each other is easy every single day,” he told you with a sad edge in his voice. “Sometimes it’s hard, love. We’re stubborn, and occasionally we’re selfish, and sometimes we’re just on totally different pages and don’t even realize the other’s needs. But I still choose you,” he told you, holding your gaze as he talked. “Every single day.” 

A tear slid down your cheek as you licked your lips. “I just don’t want to contribute to anything negative in your life, that’s not what a partner should do,” you told him and his eyes grew wider in surprise.

“I’m not saying I love it when we hurt each other or put each other through hell but it’s going to happen sometimes,” he said, squeezing your hands. “It’s not like we’re intentionally trying to cause the other harm. So, you get stuck in your head sometimes? So what?” He asked, so impassioned it was almost comical. “Those are the days choosing you is even more intentional.”  

Your shock at his words must have shown in your face, because Jin’s lips quirked up just slightly. “What?”

“Why are you so good at talking?” You let out a small chuckle, Jin’s smile widening.

“I mean it though. Are you ok?” He asked, concern etched in his fingers as soon as the smile faded.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Do you have more?”

“Yeah,” he smiled just slightly once more.

“Keep going,” you told him, adjusting your sitting position so you could face him more directly.

“I don’t want to hear anything about you protecting me from you. You were headed there and I don’t want to hear it, because that’s ridiculous. Just like I choose you, I choose who and what I let affect me. I appreciate your support and I want it, I really do, but I don’t need you to save me. Especially from you,” he told you, you staring at him thoughtfully.

“I just don’t want you to be stuck picking up my pieces all the time,” you told him sadly, Jin shaking his head immediately.

“We’re in a relationship, love, I’m going to help you carry your burdens. You do the same for me all the time, are you seriously forgetting that?” You sighed, and he rolled his eyes, nearly making you smile. “The days you’re shattered on the floor, you bet your ass I’m going to be there picking up as many of your pieces as I can. If you want to lighten the load for both of us, start showing up for yourself,” he told you softly.

You both sat in silence, eyes locked on one another’s as you searched for your next words. “Do you want me to say one more thing?” He asked, a smile spreading across your face, unable to hold it back.

“Please,” you let out a small chuckle.

Jin smiled back, soothing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “When I say I choose you, I mean I choose the good and the not so good. I choose the woman who battles insecurities every single day, I choose the woman who sometimes lets her mind play tricks on her, I choose the woman who has so many feelings she doesn’t even know what to do with them all, I choose the woman who would probably literally kill for me, I choose the woman who nurtures the hell out of not only me but the six idiots I spend my life with, I choose the woman who somehow really genuinely laughs at my jokes,” he adorably ranted, making you giggle. “I choose the woman who supports every single thing I do as if it’s the greatest thing that’s ever been done,” he continued on, you falling against his body in embarrassment.

“Stop,” you whined against his chest.

“What, too much?” He asked, through an obvious smile, you laughing as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. “I’m just saying, I know exactly who I’m choosing and I don’t take my decision lightly.”

“Ah, fuck I love you a lot,” you mumbled against his t-shirt covered chest, Jin chuckling as he left a kiss to the top of your head.

“Yeah, I know you do,” he joked, you groaning in response. “What’s not to love?”

Sitting up, you glared at him. “You’re supposed to say it back.”

His eyes blew up wide as he got his ranting expression on. Oh god. “As if I didn’t just express my deep and profound love to you,” he yelled in exasperation, you giggling loudly at the man.

“Tell me again,” you teased, Jin lunging at you as he pushed your back to the couch cushions, you laughing as he did so.

“I choose you, I love you, you’re my world,” he started mumbling against your face as he pressed kisses to your features, you laughing and screaming at a volume that was much too loud for 3 am, but neither of you cared, finally feeling light and happy again for the first time in days, and really, months.  

[stargazing-enby]

Trans Fest fic claim

Thank you so much to the @hptransfest​​ mods for organising this wonderful fest once again, and to @april-thelightfury115, @secretlycrazyhummingbird ​and @drarryruinedme7 for the encouragement and help!

Luna-centric (with a dash of Luna/Ginny/Neville) | 800 words | General Audiences | Trans, Asexual, Polyamorous Luna, Advice Columnist Luna, Fluff, Feel-Good, Gender Euphoria

Summary: Advice columnist Luna Lovegood receives a question from a trans teenager: what does home feel like?

Read Dear Luna on AO3 or below the cut:

THE QUIBBLER

31st March 2014

Q:

Dear Luna,

Thank you so much for running this column. Your advice to others has been eye-opening to me in the last few months, and I think I’m finally ready to ask you a question I’ve been asking myself for years. I’m 17, trans, and I live with my parents at the moment. I wouldn’t say they’re bad parents—they love me dearly, and I love them too—but I don’t think they quite understand me. I don’t think I can be myself in their house: not fully, not without justifying myself to them. So I often find myself wondering about the idea of home. What does it feel like? How do you know you’ve finally found a place you can call home? Is it even possible to find one if you’re incapable of feeling at home around your own parents? I’m kind of terrified that I’ll always feel like a stranger around the people I love.

Thank you in advance!

Bee

A:

My dear Bee,

What a beautiful, wonderful question to ask. Home is arguably the most simple and yet convoluted concept humanity has ever come up with: it is as plain and as universal as a feeling of belonging, and yet so intricate, so abstract, that no two people would define it the same way: often not even the people You share a home with, or who feel like home to You.

Home can be a place: your parents’ house, or Hogwarts, or the treehouse You hide in when You want to forget the world; home can be a person—a parent, a lover, a friend—or a group of people, or the place where You get to spend time with them. Home can be multiple and singular, tangible and ineffable all at once: home can be a memory, a hope, or a daydream. It can be a cheap hair clip or an invaluable family heirloom. Home can be You, too: your mind, your body; a means through which You radically love and accept yourself despite it all.

I would say, for me and at this moment of my life, home is the gardens of my beautiful house in the hills, where I get to spend time with my partners and with myself: where I help Neville tend to his plants and watch Ginny practice her Quidditch manoeuvres, and where I lie on my hammock and mull over my thoughts about questions like yours while I listen to the birds. Home is our kitchen, bathed by the sun rays during golden hours and smelling of homemade muffins; it’s my favourite wrinkles on Ginny’s face when she can’t stop laughing and the way Neville pulls me closer when he’s about to fall asleep. Home is having our friends over, and knowing that they, too, call our house their home, because they feel welcome, safe and happy when we’re together.

Home is my favourite dress that I own right now: it’s a vibrant red and it caresses my legs with the wind and has enough pockets to collect every rock on the river shore, and it makes me feel like I’m walking over the clouds instead of underneath them. Home is my body, too: the joy I experience through it, and the beauty of being able to exist in the world as myself and nobody else.

But, most importantly, home is all the things, people, and places that have been home for me throughout different moments of my life, and which I carry close to my heart even if I’ve outgrown them: the small clearing in Hogwarts’ Forbidden Forest where the Thestrals used to nap after their afternoon meal. The first flower I ever tucked behind my ear, long before I felt at ease within my body or mind. The names I tried out for myself before I fell in love with Luna, and the people I shared heated kisses with before I learned to love the fact that the only kisses I truly want to give are of the domestic, and not the passionate kind.

And this is because home, dear Bee, isn’t one single thing we must hope and wish for all our lives: home is not final, nor is it immutable. It’s all the big and little ways in which we fall in love with life and with ourselves. It is that which makes us feel whole, understood, embraced, and at ease at any given moment of our lives, no matter how lost, stranded, or hopeless we might feel. Home is so overwhelmingly universal, even in its ephemerality, that there is no one person incapable of experiencing it, because how could a human never come across anything that makes them feel whole, even if only for a fraction of a second?

Or at least that’s what home is for me. You might find, with time, that home to You is something entirely different. But isn’t that the best part, after all—to know that You get to discover all the things that are home to You?

Love,

Luna

(Reblogs are incredibly appreciated!)

[kakairu-shrine]

Okay, okay, you gotta tell us about One Month, and I’m Yours because I'm dying to know what that even means!

I'm glad you asked about that wip! A while ago, I couldn’t get the fake dating trope out of my head; and One Month, and I’m Yours is one of the ideas that came to mind.

In it, the Council has been harassing Kakashi, basically trying to pressure him into settling down & having kids because he’s the last in his clan and everything; and as he’s been growing older, the Elders are becoming more insistent, trying more frequently to introduce him to, and pair him up with women whom they think would be a suitable match for him.

One day, Kakashi has had enough, and snaps, telling them that he’s gay & dating Iruka, hoping they'll leave him alone.

When Iruka finds out, he plays along as Kakashi’s spouse, defending him and their (non-existent) relationship; and the Council eventually says that if he & Kakashi can prove that they’re in a loving relationship, they will leave Kakashi alone.

Cue the two of them pretending to date until the next meeting (which has become a monthly occurrence now), and actually falling for each other in the process whilst the Council secretly tries to break them up 👀

Here's a sneak peek 👀

"Because I'm gay!" Kakashi burst frustratedly. "And I'm seeing someone…"

"Oh? This is news." Tsunade said curiously. "Who are you seeing?"

Kakashi froze for a moment. He hadn't thought this through. Why had he added that he was seeing someone?! What was he going to say? Could he tell the council that he doesn't want to out his partner? Or should he make someone up?

As Kakashi debated what to do, he sensed a familiar chakra signature nearby, and blurted out the person's name without much thought.

"I-Iruka-sensei." He panicked.

Tsunade's eyes lit up excitedly, like she had just found out she'd won the lottery, whilst the Elders on the council had confused expressions on their faces.

"Who is that?" Koharu asked.

"One of the teachers at the academy." Kakashi answered.

"What?! Then he's just an ordinary chuunin!" Homura exclaimed disapprovingly. "This will not do."

"Rank isn't everything." Tsunade defended. "Iruka might not be a top jounin, but he is one of the best, hardworking teachers that have ever taught at the academy, and is the only one who can keep the mission desk running smoothly. He's a lifesaver, really. You really shouldn't underestimate him."

The Council members were just about to argue with Tsunade, when there was suddenly a knock at the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, Hokage-sama, but I have the files you were asking for."

"Ah, Iruka, perfect timing!"

"I-It is?" Iruka asked hesitantly, looking around the room, eyeing off the Elder Council members studying him disapprovingly. Then he noticed someone beside him, quickly recognising that it was Kakashi; and when he made eye contact with him, his eyes widened in surprise - he had never seen him look so panicked before.

"Kakashi-san? What's going on?"

"You don't need to be so formal towards him." Tsunade smirked. "The brat just told us that you two are together."

"He… what?" Iruka stared at Kakashi in confusion. Since when were they dating?

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted to keep it a secret," Kakashi lied, his eyes pleading for Iruka to play along. "But I had to tell them so they would stop with… this."

"And what exactly is… this?" Iruka asked.

"You are Hatake's partner, but you don't know?" Koharu asked suspiciously.

"I, uh, didn't want Iruka to know…" Kakashi said awkwardly. "I wanted to handle this, myself."

"A trusting relationship, I see."

"Never mind that." Iruka said. "What is going on?"

"Umino, you are aware of Hatake's status, yes?" Homura asked.

"Yes, I'm very well aware."

"And you know that being an active shinobi, he faces many dangerous missions, and has a high chance of dying in the field?"

"Yes." Iruka answered. "Most shinobi have a high chance of dying in the field - it comes with the job."

"Then would you agree that Hatake's biological clock is running out?"

"What are you trying to say?" Iruka asked impatiently.

"He needs an heir." Homura stated simply. "And you can't provide that for him."

"Huh? W-What? You're trying to force him to have children?"

"No, not force." Koharu said. "We are encouraging him. To settle down properly, that is."

"Well, Kakashi's in a serious relationship with me, and we've been taking about moving in together." Iruka replied smoothly, stepping closer to Kakashi. "That's proper enough, don't you think?"

"Not nearly." Homura said. "A wife and kids is a proper lifetime commitment; and a boyfriend is, well… A boyfriend can easily be replaced." "Excuse me?" Iruka burst angrily. "My relationship with Kakashi is just as genuine as any other couple's! We love each other dearly, and neither one of us would ever think about replacing the other."

He glanced at Kakashi, studying his curious expression, and then turned back to the Council.

"And we do have a proper lifetime commitment, as you say." He added. "Or did you forget that I have been raising Naruto since he was young, and Kakashi has been taking care of him since he joined his team? Replaceable, my ass. You just don't like that we're both men."

Tsunade snorted, and the Elders glared at her before turning their attention to Kakashi.

"Hatake, you're particularly quiet over there. What do you have to say about this?"

"Maa, I don't feel the need to say anything." Kakashi said contently. "Iruka has been getting the point across quite nicely. We're in a loving long-term relationship, and I'm not interested in looking for a wife when I've already got someone special by my side. What else is there to say?"

Truth be told, he had been too surprised to say anything since Iruka appeared. He hadn't been expecting him to be so convincing, and to speak with such conviction; and hearing him talk so passionately about their imaginary relationship was really throwing him off. Was Iruka actually gay? Had he needed to defend himself and a partner like this before?

The Elders turned to Iruka.

"Since you're so insistent, how about you prove us wrong?" Koharu challenged. "Prove how much you love him, that you can make a family with him, that you are going to be together for life; and perhaps we will back down. But if not, don't expect these meetings to end. It's time for Hatake to start really thinking about his future."

"This shouldn't have to be proved." Iruka hissed. "If you had any respect for Kakashi, you would accept his feelings, regardless of whether you understand them or not; and you would leave him alone. He doesn't deserve this - neither of us do."

Iruka grabbed Kakashi's hand.

"Come on, babe. We're going."

[bookwyrminspiration]

I just got so excited because I saw that you were talking about Constellations by The Oh Hellos. Constellations is one of my all time favorite songs because the vibes are just. Beautiful. I've listened to a couple of their songs, but I remember that after I added it to my playlist I listened to it on the way to get new succulents. And then I found a pot with constellations all over it and I named the plant Nova. (Realizing that my url is very fitting.)

music is so much fun and it's always even more exhilarating to find someone that shares a similar interest. I feel like because music is so personal it feels too vulnerable to share with others, especially when it's a song that really resonates with us. Maybe that's why making playlists for your partner(s) or friends is so endearing to so many, because it's so vulnerable. That's you in song form! And you're just presenting it to them so casually and pretending like it isn't a piece of yourself you've placed in their hands to do with as they please. But that's not what you were asking about

I've had the song on repeat for the entire day its been since you sent this ask. Something about the composition of it just hnngg so good. My mind doesn't process lyrics great, so in all honesty I have no idea what the lyrics are talking about aside from the "constellations imploding in the night" and something about cymbals crashing. I'm sure it has a lovely meaning I just haven't looked up the lyrics so until I do I will simply be vibing

but there's something so appealing about songs where voices are overlapping like a choir. Don't get me wrong, music where there's only a few voices or just one that meld together and flow super smoothly are nice, too. But when they're all yelling together! And you can hear so many people at once all contributing to the same song! I think more songs should do this, so its always exciting to find one that has this element. Both choir-like vocals with music and without background music just give such good vibes.

I haven't listened to much more of their music aside from Soldier, Poet, King, but that one's a classic and I think everyone's heard it. That reminds me of a uquiz (linked) I took once where you were assigned one of those roles and I got the solider and I just sat there for a while like damn okay that's me to a tea but wow. Way to strip me bare and put me on display. This is wildly off topic hang on.

succulents! succulents are always good, though I've never named any of my plants. That does seem like something I would do, but alas, I have not. Perhaps it's because I'm so used to them being fleeting companions that I never bothered to solidify their presence. My mother is notorious for finding ways to kill the simplest of plants and my father never bothered with them, so I didn't grow up with them. Let's see if I can break that cycle and introduce some greenery (desert appropriate, of course) into this house now that I'm old enough to actually have that kind of responsibility. Oh also my sister doesn't seem to be great with them either, if her leaving the one plant she owns in a room she never enters and not doing anything with it ever (I don't even know if anyone's watering it but I do when I notice it needs it) is any indication. All the plants in this house depend on me but I have horrible object permanence and forget they exist because they aren't in rooms I'm in often!

I hope Nova is doing well, because plants are so good and I love them dearly. I understand the apparent affection of giving/being given flowers but whenever I see it I'm just like :(( but you could've given them a living plant instead :(((. I know it's not for everyone but it's a silly little pet peeve I have.

also yay fitting url!! I think mine kinda fits me. It's The Original url i gave myself on every site I've ever been on, so it's probably like 5 years old at this point. And honestly probably started on pinterest, as i think that's where I first joined the internet. Everything else came later and I carried it over. Though I have changed every url on every site but Tumblr because I went through that "omg what was I thinking with that name gotta rebrand" thing that a lot of people experience a few years into their internet experience, but ngl i've warmed up to it a lot again. And I am highkey considering changing everything (like pinterest, instagram, etc) back to bookwyrminspiration so everything will match and be all nice. Because I do like it! It's fun!! I don't know where I got the inspiration part of it but I know I specifically said wyrm because I like dragons and book because my presence on the internet centers around reading.

and your url is really nice as well. i don't know if theres any meaning behind it but I love stars and space in general so I have a fondness for space-themed names. I looked it up to see if its a quote or something and instead I found your ao3, which I'm only mentioning because I see you've posted something on November 26 and I'm...still in the 25th! So I thought that was humorous.

I have gotten so distracted this entire ask, but to summarize Constellation by The Oh Hellos is an excellent song and I will continue to play it until I am sick of it. it's such a good daydreaming song too!! Well, all songs are in some way, but this one feels extra good! big noises and several voices!! i love it so much

[captainscanadian]

Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Epilogue 2)

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: You did good. No, you did better than good.

Word Count: 2505

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Portia Barnes, Grant Barnes, Sarah Rogers

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Death

A/N: This is it. This is the end of an era. This is the end of me writing Better. I cannot believe I actually managed to finish a fic. Most importantly, I cannot believe so many of you have taken your time to read this and to love this story and Better!Bucky as much as I do. From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank you all. I am forever grateful for every single one of you. This one’s dedicated to @dramadreamer14​ because after the torture that I put her through, she needs this domestic, fluffy, “growing old together” kind of wrap-up for this fic. Pic’s not mine, credit to the owners!

20 years later...

New Hope, Pennsylvania was a quiet little town. No one ever knew that it had even existed. Even Bucky had only come to know of this small town until he had met you. Over the years, you had not questioned why your husband had been sending money orders to your hometown every single month. You knew the answer to that. But you also knew that a few years into your marriage, the payments had stopped. Bucky had not mentioned it to you, but you knew that they had stopped. You did not live under the biggest rock on earth for crying out loud.

When you had asked Bucky about it though, he did not try to hide it from you. He did not lie to your face in the name of wanting to protect you, even if he knew how much pain was behind the answer to your query. Your biological parents had tragically passed away after your childhood home had caught fire and burnt down. A kitchen fire, apparently. It had spread so quickly by the time one of the neighbors had found out and managed to call the fire department, that your parents could not be saved.

Bucky had believed that you had every right to grieve your parents, to feel completely free from them now that they were really gone for good. A fire accident in your childhood home, he had told you. Neither of them survived. As it turned out, your mother had left a will before her death, stating that whatever the remaining amount of money she had left in her bank account should go to the science teacher at your school. After all, she had signed a contract saying that she would cut all ties with you. Of course, she was not going to leave you that money. But it seemed as though, after all these years of never being able to be on the same page, your mother did understand you at some point. She knew that you owed your old teacher so much for that one night of shelter and your mother also owed her that much for ensuring that her only child had not frozen to death. And that was the end of that.

Portia Natalia Barnes never got to know her maternal grandparents, but she knew from a very young age that her mother had not been as lucky as she had been when it came to being the recipient of unconditional parental love. You and Bucky had made sure to let both of your children know that they were loved from the day they were born. You never took them or the responsibility that you had taken on as being their parents for granted. You were honest with them, allowing them to understand that their parents were not perfect. But they were human beings with their own flaws, who thrived to be better. You had given them the space and the openness to be honest with you too. If they ever felt like your parenting was unfair to them, they would tell you. You communicated with them to make sure that they understood the boundaries that you had set for them as their parents and they felt understood as well. You were much better parents that the ones you had.

As the years rolled on, Portia had left your nest to go off to Harvard. Having inherited her father photographic memory, she had been quite a smart kid. When it came to her going to college, she had managed to grab an acceptance to multiple Ivy League schools. Her father had taken it personally that she had chosen Harvard over Columbia, his own alma mater. But truth be told, Bucky was simply not willing to see his little girl go off to live on her own. He had been a very protective father.

While your daughter was attending university in Boston, your son was freaking out over the football tryouts at his high school. While neither you nor your husband was athletically talented, it seemed as though Grant had taken a particular liking to playing sport. Now a senior in high school, he was well under way of getting a football scholarship. Both of your children were doing well for themselves and you could not be any prouder.

And as for you and your James, the two of you had resigned from the hospital when your children were starting school. The two of you had agreed that the unpredictable work schedule that came with working at the hospital was not ideal when you wanted to be raising two children. Bucky had admitted that he wanted to be more present in their lives. As much as he had been raised by a nanny, he was against the idea of you hiring one.

But the time had been right, for Bucky’s friend T’Challa, who had taken over your in-laws’ private practice from them had sold it back to the two of you before moving back to Africa. You and James began working together as partners, dictating your own work hours to accommodate your school runs and running your own clinic at the shelter. The two of you had really built yourselves a life together, just for the two of you.

Of course, this did not mean that you did not get to see your friends at all. Every weekend and the holidays were spent in each other’s company, no matter how far away from each other your lives had taken you all. Even if you all had your own families now, you still made time for each other. In the end, you were all each other’s families and that was never going to change all that easily.

“Mooooom!” Your son whined as he made his way down the stairs, his feet stomping across the hardwood floor with every step he took until he reached the kitchen. For a seventeen year old, he was quite broad and tall. He sure had the built for a football player, towering over your height too. According to your mother-in-law, he certainly took on after his father. But you would not say that he only took on Bucky’s appearance; he had his father’s heart too. “Mom, Portia says she needs the car tomorrow but I’ve got practice. Can you please remind her that she doesn’t live here anymore and the car’s mine now?”

You let out a sigh as you finished chopping up the vegetables, discarding the scraps in the compost bin before walking over to the stove to check on the pasta.

“I told you. I’ll even drop you off and pick you up, you punk.” Your daughter’s voice echoed through the hallway as she followed after her brother. “Mom, I’m just meeting up with my friend for coffee. We have our project due after spring break and we were going to be working on it together.”

“It’s spring break. Why aren’t you taking a road trip to Canada and getting pissed drunk or something like a proper college kid?”

“It’s spring break. Why do you have practice, huh?” She asked her brother.

You turned off the stove before turning around to face your children, letting out a sigh of disbelief. “Have you two seriously forgotten what day it is?” You asked them as you crossed your arms against your chest.

They both looked at each other for a moment before their eyes grew wide in realization of what day it was.

“Oh shit-” Portia quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry, mom! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to forget, I... I’ll text my friend right now and cancel our study session. I promise, I’m not leaving the house for the whole day.”

“Sorry, mom...” Grant frowned as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. “I’m calling the coach and telling him that I can’t make it. Family comes first.”

“As much as I’m a little disappointed that the two of you forgot your father’s birthday, I’m glad that you two are at least fighting about study sessions and football practice.” You admitted, chuckling softly. “Help me finish up with dinner and set the table? Dad will be home soon and it’s been a while since we’ve had a family meal with all four of us.”

“Of course.” Your daughter smiled as she walked around the kitchen counter to wash her hands. “I’ll roast the vegetables.”

“I’ll drain the pasta.”

“And I’ll finish up the sauce!” You announced and the three of you worked together to finish cooking before your husband got home.

Dr. James Barnes was a lucky man. At sixty years of age, he was happily married to his wife of twenty-two years. With a successful private practice and a part-time position teaching anatomy at Columbia Medical School, he had learned to keep himself busy with work while still managing to have a family of his own. He had two wonderful children who loved him dearly and were well onto becoming responsible adults. He was not worried about their future; they were good kids.

His goddaughter on the other hand though, he was worried about her for sure. “Sarah, I’m telling you. Being my little niece does not mean that you’re going to get special treatment in my class.” With an eye roll, Bucky made his way upstairs right after he entered his home.

“But that doesn’t give you any reason to be twice as hard on me, Dr. Barnes.” She told him sternly as she watched him ascend up the stairs. She walked into the dining room, her expression a little softer as she greeted you. “Hey, Aunty Y/N.”

“Hey, sweetheart... will you be joining us for dinner this evening?” You asked your beloved niece as you finished setting the table. Just as you had been a regular visitor of the Rogers-Carter household when you had first started working with Steve and Peggy, Sarah was a frequent dinner guest as your house as well.

“Do I have a choice? I have an anatomy quiz after the break that I’m supposed to study for and my professor’s a jerk. Uncle Bucky... offered to help me study tonight.” Sarah Rogers, in the way she carried herself and spoke her mind, was her mother’s daughter. But when it came to her constant banter with Bucky, she was all Steve. “I’m telling you. If I end up dropping out of med school, it was your husband’s fault.”

“This... is exactly why I went off to Harvard.” Portia pointed out as she walked over to Sarah and pulled her into a hug. “Cheer up, Rogers.”

“Wait, I thought Uncle Bucky is your professor...”

The girls turned around to give Grant a look of disbelief.

You gave him a pat on the back. “Let’s finish setting the table, baby.”

Your husband made his way downstairs after freshening up, having changed into a pair of sweatpants and a Henley. Even after years, he still liked to separate his personal and professional lives with how he dressed. When the two of you were home, you rarely spoke of work. Your children had always been your priorities.

James’ hair had a hint of grey now. But that only made him look much more attractive to you. The years had been kind to the two of you, despite a few wrinkles here and there. Your physical appearance did not matter much to you though, for your hearts were still the same? You loved each other just as much as you did that night in your hospital room and that was never going to change.

After a long-awaited family meal, the children got busy with doing the dishes while you found yourself heading up to your room for a quick shower. By the time you had changed into a pair of pyjamas and made your way downstairs, you found Sarah and Portia huddled on the living room floor with their textbooks laying wide open around them. Grant had followed their example and grabbed himself a book to read while he laid on the couch – The Merchant of Venice, which was apparently now being taught in his high school English class. He really was his father’s son.

Bucky sat in his study, reading through his emails. As you knocked on the door and poked your head through, he looked up at you with a smile. “I wasn’t expecting any visitors at this time, doll. But I’ll take it.”

You walked into the room, making sure to close the door around you. “So, this is where you spend all of your free time after... a hard day’s work and a good family meal.” You told him with a wink.

He chuckled softly as he stood up from his seat. “Well, I do think that there’s a lot more value to my time if it’s spent in the presence of my wife.” There was a teasing tone in his voice and you knew that he had caught on.

“Hm... flattery will get you everywhere, Dr. Barnes.” You giggled as you walked up to him, leaving up to quickly peck his lips. You were cautious, for you did not want the children to see you like this. “A wise man once told me that I was capable of being so much better than what life had to offer me. Happy birthday to him, I guess.”

“I think there’s still a few hours until midnight.” He said, his eyes darting to the wall clock behind you.

You reached into the pockets of your robe and pulled out an envelope. “I just thought I might give you your present a little earlier...”

“What’s this?” Bucky asked you as he took the envelope, his eyebrow raised at you as he stepped back to retrieve the letter opener from his desk. He carefully tore through the envelope before retrieving the tickets to your romantic vacation destination.

You watched as he looked down at the tickets. “A wise man also told me that if I really wanted to live like I’m in the Merchant of Venice, all I had to do was hop on a plane.”

He turned around to give you a cheeky grin. “A romantic getaway to Venice? Really, doll?”

“I think we both need one, don’t you think? Now that Portia’s out of the house and Grant will be moving out soon.” You shrugged. “We can just travel the world like free birds, just you and me.”

“I think I’d like that.” He agreed as he walked back to you and kissed you softly.

You giggled as you kissed him back, wrapping your arms tightly around him as you took in his scent. “We did good, James...” You admitted, laying your head against his shoulder and shutting you eyes for a moment. You wanted to savor this, for every single intimate the two of you shared was precious. You still saw it as a blessing, having a wonderful husband like him and beautiful children.

“No, I think we did better, Y/N.”

[brywrites]

i just finished tkow and this may sound like a wild request but can we get a story for elizabeth’s birthday? maybe like her turning 5? and reid and bianca throw her a party?

A lil more “domestic Reid family fluff” coming your way, anon!

-

Elizabeth had a thing for frogs that year, and so their living room was decorated with green streamers and paper mâché, little green stickers and posters, and plenty of big-eyed, smiling amphibians. The day had been a flurry of activity as they welcomed a dozen small children into their home – friends from preschool as well as Michael and Hank. Henry hung around with adults, mostly excited to tell his godfather all about what he’d learned about planets at school. There had been games of leapfrog and tag out in the backyard, and Garcia had brought her ukulele to perform a silly song-based skit about tadpoles growing up and turning into frogs.

The party had been an all-around success, as far as fifth birthday parties went. The cake had won over their small guests – fluffy layers of chocolate with ganache in the middle and bright frosting that that featured a happy frog on it that Bianca had lovingly hand-baked. The frog- themed scavenger hunt Spencer set up around the house kept them busy for nearly half an hour. And Eliza had a smile on her face the entire time. When things wound down and her friends headed home, she’d been eager to try out her new frog-shaped kite and Garcia had begged for permission to take her out to the backyard.

“I’ll keep a close eye on her,” she’d insisted. “Besides Luke and I would love to spend a little quality time with our favorite birthday girl!” And so they’d agreed. It gave them time to tidy up and take a moment to breathe, for which they were both grateful.

Bianca checked the living room to make sure nothing was left behind, and when she returned she found Spencer standing at the kitchen counter with a gift-wrapped bag and a snickerdoodle cookie on a plate. There was a tiny candle stuck in the center of it, it’s flame flickering softly.

“What’s this?” she asked.

He broke into one of those crooked grins she so dearly loved, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he held the plate out to her. “Happy birth day.”

His words were a puzzle, she was certain, but she couldn’t quite work them out. She tilted her head in question. “But it’s not my birthday.”

“No,” he said. “But it is the day that you gave birth.” He sent the bag and plate down on the counter. “I was just thinking the other day about birthdays and what they mean. And make no mistake, I absolutely love that we get a whole day to celebrate each other’s existence. Because I am so happy that our daughter exists. But if we’re being honest, you did all the hard work that day.”

When she laughed he said, “It’s true! Childbirth is consistently rated as one of the most painful human experiences, and as someone who has been shot, I find it difficult to comprehend what a pain worse than that must have felt like. You were in labor for seven hours! Seven hours! And before that, you were so nervous about being a mother. You dealt with all those fears and changes, not to mention me being in prison.” Five trips around the sun later, and looking back on that year of their life was still difficult. “So I thought that you deserved a little celebration for all of that, and for being the best mom and partner in the whole of human history.”

“The whole of human history? That might be overselling it.”

“I’m a genius,” he said, winding an arm around her waist. “So it has to be true.” Then he grabbed the plate once more. “Quick, make a wish before it burns out.”

Bianca looked down at the flickering candle. And she glanced out the window where Penelope and Luke were kneeling in the grass to help Eliza hold tight to the handle of her kite, flying somewhere up out of view.  Then looked at Spencer, smiling at her, standing in the kitchen of the house they’d built a home in. It had been five years of bliss since Elizabeth Luna Reid came into the world. It wasn’t always easy and certainly it wasn’t perfect, but they were a family and they were happy and they were home.

She shook her head. “What am I supposed to wish for? Everything I could ever want is right here.”

Spencer considered this. “Well then,” he said. “I’ll make a wish for you. I wish for you to always be safe. For every book you read will be a good one, and every poem you write will have just the right words. For have a long and happy life. And for you to always know just how loved and celebrated you are. Because you are so loved, Bianca.”

He blew out the candle with a gentle breath. “Do you remember the day we first met? I told you I had an eidetic memory and you-” he laughed “- you apologized to me, saying that you wished you were giving me happier memories than a few dozen files of crimes against humanity.”

“Did I?” she asked. She could never forget the first time she saw him or the words they exchanged the day or so many other moments in their life, but she didn’t remember that very first conversation other than fleeting memories of being surprised by Garcia and Morgan’s banter and being fascinated by Spencer.

“You wished for something for me that nobody else had before. And then you made it true. You’ve given me so many happy memories since that day.”

“You gave me a home,” she said. “And a family. And the kind of love I thought I’d only ever write about. You make me happy every day.” She pulled him close enough to kiss, feeling him smile against her lips. His hands slipped under the hem of her shirt, his fingers warm against her skin as he pressed her to him. In the business of the birthday party, she’d hardly had a moment alone with him all day, and it felt so good to be held by him.

“Shield your eyes, Eliza Lou!” Garcia shouted. “You don’t want to catch the cooties!” They spun around to see Luke and Garcia in the living room. Penelope covered Eliza’s face with her hands, and the little girl stood there laughing, clutching her frog kite tight.

“You’re not trying to catch up to the Morgans are you?” Luke teased. Savannah had just given birth to their second child two months ago.

“Oh no,” Bianca laughed, her cheeks turning pink. “One is enough for us.”

“After all, why mess with perfection?” Spencer said, lifting Elizabeth into his arms and kissing her cheek. They bid farewell to Luke and Garcia who had to go let Roxy out and sat down with Eliza to help sort through her birthday presents.

She was telling them all about her friends and the games they played today when she paused, looking at a book in her hands that had a frog in a cape on the cover. “Daddy, did you used to be a superhero?” she asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked.

She shrugged. “Michael said that you used to be a superhero like Aunt Jennifer is. But that you’re not anymore.”

Oh. That kind of superhero. “Well,” Spencer said. “Yeah, I guess I was. We all used to work together to fight bad guys – me and a lot of your aunts and uncles. Grandpa Dave, too.”

“He said that you stopped being a superhero because of me,” she said. Her lip quivered as she looked at her father. “Did you hafta give up your superpowers because of me?”

Spencer’s expression fell at the same time Bianca felt her heart sink. Their daughter’s question had come seemingly out of the blue but now she understood. They hadn’t told her much about Spencer’s past in the BAU, figuring it was best to wait until she was old enough to understand. Michael must have told her something, and while she was sure that he had meant no harm, Elizabeth had misunderstood his words. She thought he wasn’t allowed to be a hero because of her.

“Oh sweetheart, no,” he said. He reached out to stroke her hair, trying to calm her. “No, that’s not true. I didn’t have to give up any superpowers. But I stopped chasing the bad guys when you were born because there were bad guys that wanted to try and hurt you and mama. I didn’t want you to get hurt, and I knew that all of my friends like Aunt Jennifer could stop the bad guys without me. I didn’t want to be a superhero anymore. I just wanted to be your daddy. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Eliza decided, her smile returning. “You can still be my hero. And mama!” she added.

Spencer laughed, grabbing her in a hug. He reached over to grab Bianca’s hand. “Yeah, your mama is my hero, too. So, was it a good birthday?”

“The best birthday ever!” she said. “I was so happy the whole time!” She threw her small arms out wide to demonstrate just how much that was.

“Us too,” Bianca said. “You make us so happy, Eliza Lou. And we love you so, so much.”

“I love you more,” she said, clambering into her mother’s lap and hugging her tight. Bianca kissed her forehead. Five years ago, their little family had grown by one person, and she remembered holding that small baby girl in her arms for the first time and thinking that nothing had ever been so perfect. But as each year went by, the happiness of that day seemed only to increase exponentially. Happy memories that they got to share together, and a million little wishes that were still to come true.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Silver clouds with grey linings // J x Rosie x Pat 🎅🎄💜💚💙🖤

Summary: It has been an absolutely awful year and as a result of that, you can barely find it within you to celebrate this time of year, much less to celebrate the time with your two greatest loves. But within your whirling emotions are you safe, dear one, and J and Pat will do everything they can to make you feel like you can enjoy this time with them. They love you dearly, in their own ways, and they won’t let you forget it for even a second!

Written for @loveletterstoledger​! Merry Christmas, darling one! I hope that you’re able to relax and enjoy yourself during this time. You are so, so loved and you are so much more than you know. You deserve the entire world and I wish that I could give it to you. You’re one of my dearest friends and you’re a constant source of inspiration to me. It is with lots of love that I wrote this for you and I hope that you like it! 💛🧡💛🧡

Word count: 5, 521.

These were separate images which I spliced together for ease of posting; 

J source || Pat source || both links provide the source for their usage of these pictures.

So many bad things, so many truly awful things had happened this year, not just to you but to the world itself, and you were, it seemed even through the fog of your mind, the physical embodiment of exhaustion. You felt like you had nothing left within you. There was nothing left to give to anyone, least of all to yourself; the person who was most deserving of all the love which you so selflessly gave to others. Indeed would it have been an understatement to say that this year had been awful and you would have considered it a complete write off were it not for the fact that you had met your greatest loves; Pat and J, during the first half of the year, and for the fact that you still had yourself. Yes, for all that you had been through and for all that you were going through did you still have yourself. You were the one who had been there for you through even the worst of things which had happened this year. During those especially difficult times it had seemed like even J wouldn’t be able to comfort you and yet from somewhere within you had come the strength to look after yourself in spite of what you had been going through. You were the one who looked after yourself and made sure that the people and the things which had hurt you wouldn’t be able to do so again. You were your greatest ally and J and Pat, though they hadn’t been with you for very long, couldn’t have been prouder of you. You had been through so much more than anyone should ever have to go through, most especially in one year, and yet there you were, facing each day and facing yourself even when you didn’t want to. Even feeling as you did much of the time were you still so loving and that was, perhaps, the truest display of strength you ever could have showed. You were strong all on your own and most often with J and Pat did you feel unstoppable. They were truly in awe of you and of your continued strength and often did they make their pride and belief in you known.

The two men had their own ways of loving you and while sometimes did they have trouble reaching you or getting through to you, never did you feel unloved, neglected or truly alone with them in your life. They made sure that they came together when it was most important to take care of you, for sometimes were you unable even to care for yourself and during those times did your husband and your life partner pick up the slack. There was nothing they wouldn’t do for you and there was no storm the three of you couldn’t weather so long as you were together. Your very existence was a cause for celebration and with it being the festive time of year that it was, this only made it more important for your loves to participate in the holiday season with you and to celebrate you. Rosie, the woman who unfailing gave them everything they had ever wanted or needed, each and every single day, even without trying. Just by being yourself were you the perfect partner for both men. J, for his part, had long since given up on maintaining any pretense of being anything else or anyone else than what he already was, The Joker, and Pat, too, had similarly almost made his peace with the fact that he was to be perpetually misunderstood by people who had never even tried to understand him or to get to know him beyond the realms of hearsay and rumours. Just by being you, darling one, you gave your loves everything they had never truly thought they would have within their lives, young that they were both were, and J and Pat were determined to truly spoil you during this time of the year so that what had turned out to be an absolutely horrific year would at least end on a good note for you. It was the least they could do for you but all the same was it everything to you.

For Pat, the year had started on a positive note and even with everything which had happened, it had stayed a good year because of the way you had given him an intangible gift on the day you had met. It was a gift which kept giving and so would it continue to do. You had given Pat acceptance and love. For so long had he been mistreated by the world. He had had to care for his dying grandfather all on his own and then arrange a funeral in the midst of his grief while taking care of his re-enrolment back into Padua High... and during those years, he had been the subject of many a cruel rumour, of many a difficult emotion and no one had ever listened to him, no one had ever seen him... apart from you. You had seen Pat; the way he smiled at bees as they hovered around gardens and found a new flower to land on and pollinate. The gentleness with which he had once used a leaf to guide a bee which had landed on him back onto a flower. Others would have needlessly screamed and ran away, critically misunderstood were bees, but Pat had understood that he had been confused for a flower and chuckling had he carefully set the bee to rights. The way that Pat had once caught wind of someone’s car breaking down and there was to be a rush between them finishing their shift at Pat’s workplace and then getting down to the nearest car shop, which was the cheapest one around... only for them to finish their shift to find that Pat had repaired their car while he had been on his hour long lunch break. He hadn’t asked for anything in return at all. He had just seen the car troubles and decided to do something about it because he was the only one in the immediate area who knew cars. Generous was he with his time and at total odds was he with the rumours which people had spread around even before they knew him. Pat was beautiful and within only days of meeting one another had you seen him for all that he was and all that he would ever be and you loved him for that. This gift which you had given him was acceptance for who he truly was, deserving at the least was he of that. No matter what happened to Pat, so long as he had you by his side, his strawberry, then he already had the world.

J, too, strong enough was he to stand up on his own even with his grey and uncertain past, had received such a wonderful intangible gift from you. You had not meant to give it to him, but so beautiful a soul were you that you had and J couldn’t have been more grateful to you for everything that you had ever done for him. You had given him validation, which was not to be earned or something which would ever be taken away from him. You made sure every single day that J knew he was loved, that he knew that he had a place to come home to, and that, no longer did just The Joker have a home to return to at the end of every day, but so do too did Jack... the man The Joker had totally done away with, perceived had he been as a weakness. There was a great deal of humanity in J and you had found it so easily, without even trying. You made sure that he knew that his true intelligence and his genuine wisdom was seen, that he was valid, and you treated him like he was just anyone else. You loved the menacing man clad in royal purple and acid green as much as you loved the casually dressed man you saw first thing most mornings. It mattered not to you what he looked like or how he dressed, for you would always see J for who he truly was, so loving and gentle a soul were you, and J couldn’t have been more grateful to and for you. He was roughly a decade older than you and Pat and so he had taken up something of a guardian role for the both of you even within the romantic dynamic which you shared, of varying degrees, between you.

No matter how bad things had ever gotten in any of your lives, there was one constant. Just one thing which never changed or faltered or been anything other than what it had always been: love. There was more love between the three of you than any of you knew what to do with and it only grew more of the same. Sometimes when you gazed at J and Pat having their moments of banter, which you were sure they sometimes did just to hear you laugh, so precious a sound was your amusement, your heart swelled with love to the point that it made your rib cage ache as it strained to constrain the organ keeping you alive within its boned walls. There was so much love which you felt for the both of them; for the love you felt for them but also for the love which they undeniably but stealthily held for each other, that you just couldn’t handle it. It was so beautiful that it just made you want to cry and today, Christmas Day, was most especially one of those occasions.

The day had started out as it always did, with you spending time with your family and your loved ones. Gifts had been exchanged, food had been eaten, and memories had been reminisced upon and made, for every day was the chance to create something new. As the day progressed and turned from early afternoon to early evening did you drift from familial loved ones to your romantic partners and now was it time for yourself, Pat and J to celebrate the day and to simply be with one another. Indeed so strong was the love between the three of you that it seemed to create almost a fourth entity in the room, which hovered in the spaces between your bodies and kept you warm and safe from all that which sought to cause you any kind of harm. It came to pass that your bedroom, the room which had seen everything between the three of you, was to be the room where the celebration would be carried out, and you all got comfortable upon your bed. J sat up against the headboard, the pillows moved so that his back had some support. Pat had cracked a couple of “old man” jokes to light the carefree and delicate mood, but you could sense... urgency, almost, within J, and you could already tell that he would insist upon giving you any gift first. Patient could he be out in the grimy streets of Gotham but within the four walls of your bedroom would no such pretence be maintained.

No one pretended anything when the world fell away and it was just the three of you.

Pat got comfortable beside you, loathe was he to leave your side for even a moment, and the small pile of presents in the centre of the almost triangle formation in which you sat were quickly given to the intended recipients. You had gotten J one thing more than you had gotten Pat, but that was because Pat’s was ultimately expensive and you knew that he would have been legitimately angry if you had gotten him anything else on top of what you had already gifted. For J, you suspected the same, so well did you know the both of them, and so you had restrained yourself in what you had bought the both of them, though you had definitely pushed the boat out with your budget a bit too much. You gave them your gifts first. Pat received an envelope and J received a hastily and messily wrapped box. You hadn’t enlisted help with the wrapping of their gifts, though you had asked J for help in buying Pat’s gift. Pat, too, had helped you with J’s gift, and both men had been sworn to secrecy on pain of no cuddling for an entire night if they told the other person what you had bought for them. As they sat there with their gifts, each held a contemplative look within their similarly dark eyes as they quietly appreciated the moment. J leaned over and kissed your cheek chastely before he tore into his gift, revealing a top of the market sketchbook and some tools; charcoal, pencils, watercolours and the like, and a pamphlet for the online art courses which you had enrolled him in.

“J, I - “ You hesitated. J’s past was a known open wound, though he denied its existence to all except you and Pat, and you wanted to believe that he would appreciate this gift even with how delicate the emotions behind it were. “I wanted you to try these art courses. You never got to pursue an art degree and I know you’re still secretly passionate about drawing, so I - “ There was a look in J’s chocolate eyes and you froze. But then he grinned and held his hands out, his fingers flexing in a gimme motion. You smiled, relief coursing through your body, and you leaned forward for J to do whatever he wanted with you. You trusted him implicitly and you knew, even before the acceptance of your thoughtful gift, that J trusted you, too. Jack trusted you, and that meant more to you than anything else. J’s arms wrapped around you like a vice, but you felt infinitely safe within that as he held you to his body and laid a tender, lingering kiss atop your head. A second kiss. A third. Each one came with an enthusiastic mwah, to fully convey his emotions, and you allowed yourself to sink into J’s affection. He didn’t thank you verbally, but he didn’t need to. J was a man of action, he always had been, and right now was his gratitude for you almost screaming out in the things that he did as he kept you close to him. Even as your back began to ache and you pulled away from the hug, J insisted on keeping you close to him and you ended up shuffling closer to him to give him what he wanted.

You.

It was Pat’s turn next to open his gift, waited patiently had he for J, and he cracked the envelope open without taking his eyes off of you. You smiled in encouragement and Pat winked at you as his fingers dipped inside the fold of the envelope. He slid out the piece of paper within and then gasped quietly. His fingers went slack and he dropped the envelope back onto his lap and J chuckled darkly.

“Told ya’ the kid would make a big deal outta it.”

“J, stop it! Let him be!” You made to elbow J, but purple leather encased your elbow so that you couldn’t come into contact with his ribs. J’s grip remained where it was as the both of you watched Pat shakily, carefully, pull out the plane ticket. His eyes roamed around the page quickly, like he hardly dared to believe what was right in front of him, and then he read it over slower.  As the shock wore off did the appreciation set in, a tender soul was he. The date was for next month, which gave him plenty of time to prepare for his holiday; the gap between receiving the gift and going on holiday was J’s idea and you appreciated now, more than ever, his forethought and attention to detail. Oh, how you loved him. “You haven’t been home in years, Koala, and I thought you deserve to go and at least visit and see it all again.” You made to point out that there was three tickets within, one for each of you so that you could all go together, but Pat found that out for himself and when Pat finally tore his eyes off of the plane tickets, there was so much love within his chocolate gaze that your breath caught in your throat and you felt the stinging of tears in your own eyes. You loved him, too, you always had, and you felt like the rest of the world ceased to matter so long as you had your clown and your koala with you. They were your world, they always had been, and you cherished them with everything that you had.

“C’mere, love,” Pat waited not for your response and instead did he come to you as he threw his arms around you and held you tight. J kept his grip on you, too, protective and loving was he most especially when it was only the three of you, and you sunk into Pat’s body, too, finding comfort and solace. J grunted as Pat rained kisses down on your face, his eyes alight with a fire which made heat similarly pool low within your stomach. “Thank you, wallaby. I can’t wait to show you my hometown!” You could see his mind turning as he began to think of all the places he could take you and you felt yourself becoming excited because he was excited, too. So deeply connected were you that each other’s emotions were mere extensions of your own. The three of you remained close, now, as emotions heightened and the love blossomed into its own life form; a fourth entity in the room, as always did it become.

“My, ah - my turn.” J shifted in his seat as he handed you a small but deep box, and his subtle movement clued you into the fact that whatever was inside this box, or the meaning of it, was incredibly important to the usually impassive man. There was a card which came with the gift, and you read that first:

You smiled and a few tears slipped down your cheeks as you reached out for your clown and pressed a reverent kiss to his full lips. J hummed into the kiss and allowed you to give everything you could within that moment. J had spoken of explosions within the card and your love for him had always been like that; something you couldn’t control, something which kept you warm. For the first time in your life did you not have to set yourself ablaze just to keep others warm, for the love the both of you shared was that warmth and it only reached out to others who could also feel that heat. “Thank you, J.” He motioned impatiently for you to open the gift, and you did so, your wrist deftly untying the ribbon which held the box closed.

At first you saw only a hunk of metal, so you lifted up the box to put the lid underneath, getting comfortable within the moment. You jumped to see a grenade in the box and suddenly did J’s insistence to only exchange gifts when it was just the three of you make plenty of sense and you smiled distractedly at his forethought. Then again, you wouldn’t have expected anything less than that from the man who held your whole heart within his calloused hands. You had always genuinely loved and appreciated the way that J’s hands, which could and would murder someone so easily in the same way one would swat a fly, could also be so tender and loving within the way he treated you. Indeed, no one except Pat held you, loved you, in the way that J did; with tenderness as warm as the summer and with the absolute lack of danger which he so presented to everyone else. You saw, seconds into your panic, that the pin was missing, and with your heart pounding in your chest did you look up at J, confusion written all over your face. You were safe, you knew that now, but the initial shock was still very much with you and you needed J’s reassurance. What was he trying to say to you? Your mind raced to find out.

“Look, sweets, I - “ J dipped a hand inside his royal purple jacket and pulled out the missing grenade pin. It was barely recognisable as its usual function, for it had been twisted and manipulated into a ring. It was wire-thin in some places though you had no doubt that it would be strong. Other places were thicker, more filled out, and you lifted the deactivated grenade from the box, turning it this way and that. Some pieces were missing, having been added to bulk out the ring, which had ultimately been folded back on itself to make it even stronger. Just like the love you shared was it unbreakable. Indestructible. “You, ah - you complete me.” J’s voice was unusually quiet, his eyes devoid of humour but a small, almost imperceptible smirk on his lips.

“Oh, my - “ You surged forwards and almost climbed into his lap as you grabbed J’s painted visage in your hands. Once more did you press the most intense, fiery kiss to his plush lips that you could muster, so overwhelmed with love were you. “I love you too, J.”

There were no cackles. No bounces. No sarcastic comments. There was only Jack in this moment, the man beneath the paint, the man behind the suit, and so you considered yourself to have received two gifts from J this day as he finally pulled away and rearranged his clothes, pulling himself together. You were certain of the fact that, were he not wearing face paint, that he would have been visibly blushing. Most likely was that why he had not removed his paint prior to coming into the bedroom. He remained close to you, however, loathe was he to ever leave you for even a moment. Actions of love screamed at you and you found yourself almost unable to speak with all the unconditional love which you were both giving and receiving. 

Pat had been quiet for the duration of J giving you his gift, respectfully keeping himself out of the moment which was between yourself and J. Now that it was over, J had signalled to Pat to start his own with you; everything was an equal balance of give and take between the three of you. “Here, hazel eyes,” Pat’s watery gaze only made you cry a little bit more, your body physically unable to deal with all of your emotions. He cupped your face in his hands and the calloused pads of his thumbs swept easily across your cheeks in the same moment that he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Merry Christmas.” As he pulled away but still remained close to you, he handed you a small square gift. It was neatly wrapped and there was a card taped to the top of the gift:

Pat always made sure that you knew beyond all shadow of a doubt that you were loved. He told you often how much he loved you and how proud of you he was, and he made sure that you knew you had a support behind you. It was only one more thing which you did for Pat, too, and everything which you gave out to him and to J was returned in kind. The three of you were equal in love in every single way and none of you ever allowed any other person within your relationship to doubt their own place within the dynamic. You felt the wounds of yesterday begin to be soothed by the joys of today and the promise of tomorrow and you swore to yourself that you would hold all of these memories close to you. Love did you have in abundance and as you began to open the gift, you kept your eyes firmly on Pat. You knew that you would be okay so long as you kept your sights on what mattered, on who mattered. 

The gift unravelled, held together had it been by just a few pieces of tape, and you pulled out a mixtape. It was home made and a card detailed every song by name, artist and year of release. It was a compilation of all of your favourite songs, as well as the songs which were sentimental to you, Pat and J. Right at the bottom was a rendition of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, sung by... 

“Oh my god, Pat!” 

You loved Pat’s singing voice; so much so that you sometimes felt the urge to cry just because of the way it made your heart squeeze in your chest almost to the point of pain. You kept a hand on the mixtape even as you threw your arms around Pat, and if it hadn’t been for the way J quickly snagged the CD, you may well have accidentally hit Pat with it. Pat chuckled and wrapped his arms around you as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You completely missed the look which J and Pat exchanged with one another. It was one of trust, reverence, and of love. They didn’t get each other gifts but they didn’t need to; each other’s existence was enough of a gift and the two men would express that to each other later on when they thought you to be sleeping, for the evening was growing later and the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. 

“I, err - you like my singing, right? And I know these songs... I know what they mean to you and I know what I mean to you, as well, so I wanted to make you something which served as a reminder to keep us close, you know? Keep love close, baby girl, that’s all that matters.” Pat’s rich and deep timbre rumbled through his chest and you smiled to feel it vibrate against your own skin. So wise was he for one so young and your heart ached to be aware of all of the pain he had ever been through in his life. He had always deserved so much better and you would always do what you could to give him those things. He had been alone for so long in his anguish and never had anyone been there for him, but you would do your best now and for the rest of your days together with your husband to give him that love, support, understanding and acceptance which he had always craved. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” You squeezed Pat and moved so that you could press your lips to his. Affection was shared so easily between the both of you and it seemed almost as though every kiss was a renewal of the vows you had exchanged only this month. J was settling easily into his new dynamic with the both of you even as your relationship with Pat had progressed to legalities, which for obvious reasons J would refrain from participating in. There were no gifts which J or Pat could give you which would properly be able to convey the depth of their love and gratitude towards you not only for the very expensive material gifts which you had bestowed upon them this day, but also for the intangible gifts which you gave them without question every single day. You were such a loving and gentle soul and there were entire worlds within you. Stardust was within your veins and you were the universe experiencing itself all over again. It was in your nature to nurture people and even J’s rougher edges had been sanded down by your gentle touch and loving glances. Every single day, no matter how badly you felt or how horrifically you were treated by people or by situations which were simply beyond you, you still faced the day and yourself and you still loved. If love was a form of magic then you produced the purest form of it; unconditional and undying was it towards those lucky enough to be loved by you, and Pat and J’s lives had been changed infinitely by your existence. You never had to try to be anything more than you were most naturally on any given day; you were already and you meant the world to both men. 

As you sunk into Pat’s embrace and the man sighed affectionally, you shuffled forward even further until Pat’s arms slid down so that he could lift you onto his lap. There, in your favourite seat, though conscious were you of J, you fully relaxed; surrounded by your husband and all that he was. From behind you did you feel J shuffle forward so that he could wrap his arms around you and Pat. Usually was he exuberant and deliberately obnoxious in his movements but right now was he only slow and careful, sure of himself and of his way was he. J knew what he was doing at all times when it came to his younger but assuredly world-weary loves, and on this occasion was that rule without exception. 

“All right, ah - c’mon.” J kept one arm around you and moved gifts and papers out of the way before he wrapped his other arm around Pat. With the message that now was the time to relax upon you all, you and Pat shifted until you were both on either side of J, and both of you as much in physical contact with him as you wanted to be. J took what you gave him and he only returned it to you in kind, fair was he. He brought you both home and with gifts held close but with each other held even closer, the last few hours of Christmas Day were spent the way that it had started: with love. “Wanna watch your, ah - your show, sweets?”

You grinned and looked over at Pat. “Well... I got you that art stuff, J, so why don’t we watch some Bob Ross?”

J’s dark eyes flicked up to the ceiling in mock annoyance and Pat chuckled as he reached over J’s lap to hold one of your hands. His calloused thumb, a worker was he, rubbed across the top of your hand, and he leaned his head against J’s upper arm as J flicked the television over to Bob Ross. He hated this show and didn’t understand what the fascination was, but he wanted to spend some quality time with his soulmates and the ways in which the both of you so pressed up against his body on either side really made J feel wanted and... loved. As one of J’s hands came to rub across his chest, a light frown on his face, Pat caught the movement and grinned. He moved up to press a kiss to J’s cheek.

“I see you, J,” Pat grinned at J, who only rolled his eyes once more and dropped his hand back onto his lap, “We love you too, you know that?”

J did. How could he not, when the two of you told him in every single way that you could every day? He nodded but otherwise said nothing. He only pressed play a bit harder than he should have done, and settled back into the headboard. He allowed you and Pat to take whatever affection from him you wanted or even needed, and as Bob began his introduction and Pat nestled into J’s side, J dipped a hand into the pocket which he had stowed the ring away in and pulled it out. The dulled silver glinted in the harsh blue light of the television and he handed it to you with a small, barely there smile on his face. You took the ring from J and reached out for the hand which had been rubbing at his chest. His hands were bare and you slid the ring onto the finger next to his littlest digit; you were devoted entirely to one another in feeling and though you questioned his reaction to this even as you did it, you also knew J well enough to know that he would have stopped you by now if he didn’t like it. J didn’t move in protest or in acceptance, he just allowed you to do whatever felt right to you, intuitive were you, and then he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. His nose remained in the strands for a few seconds as his lips lingered, and you understood everything that he was saying to you. 

Merry Christmas, indeed.

I’ve never made moodboards before so I don’t know how I’ve done, buuuut I wanted to try for you, so here you go!💙

A Verose Date

A date night with J

Us against the world

[afaimsarrowverse]

Arrowverse: My 25 Favorite Fan-Ships

After doing my favorite Canon-Ships, here are my favorite Non-Canon-Ships of the Arrowverse. Like always . This is my blog, this is my list, it is in no way objective, everyone is entiled to their own opinion, so please don’t reblog or answer just to tell me how much you disagree with me. You can’t quantify love, well except with stupid lists like this, just because a ship is not on this list does not mean I don’t like it - except when it does - so…. yeah, here we go

  25. Snowbertallen (Caitlin Snow/Julian Albert/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at in: The Flash Season 3

 While I don’t really see Caitlin and Barry as a romantic pairing, both of them did work quite well with Julian and in a world where Barry couldn’t save Iris, I actually could see him ending up with those two instead. I always wanted to write a fic about that but never came around to, but this threesome exists in my Arrowmultiverse – read „Multiversity“.

 24.  Coldwestallen (Leonard Snart/Iris West/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at in: The Flash Season 2-3

 This is one of my ships, maybe a little bit guilty pleasure, and I can’t really see this happening in canon, but before I decided to bring Eddie back, I was toying with this idea as endgame for my A/B/O-Arrowverse, after all Leonard works very well with both of them, so yeah, I definifly loved this ship.

 23.  Kalex (Kara Danvers/Lex Luthor)

 Hinted at: Crisis on Infinite Earths, Supergirl Season 4-5

 I discovered this one for me during „Crisis on Infinite Earths“ and was like … why is this ship not more prominent, I mean after all there where some hints of it before. In any way their chemistry is great and it’s a shame that pretty much everyone has given up or fled the Supergirl-Fandom at this point so no one is going to write anything about them any time soon. But maybe someone will once try a Crisis-AU where they will be found.

 22.  Karry (Kara Danvers/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: Worlds Finest, Invasion, Duet, Crisis on Infnite Earths, Elseworlds, Crisis on Infinite Earths

 I actually prefer them as besties, because they each have an actual True Love in their own universe, but like anyone else, I love them together. They are probably to simelar to work as a couple on the long run, but as female partners for Barry go, Kara is definitfly up there at the top.

 21. BloodArrow (Sebastian Blood/Oliver Queen)

 Hinted at: Arrow Season 2

 I discovered this while working on a Sebastian Blood Oneshot. I reread „Vengance“ and worked their relationship out and remembered how much I always regretted losing Sebastian at this point of his storyline, because those two had a connection. A better one than Laurel and Sebastian actually, and in many ways Oliver was more of an actual Love Interest for Sebastian than Laurel. Not that Ollie would ever go for this, but Sebastian might have. Who knows?

 20.  Tauriver (Tommy Merlyn/Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen)

 Hinted at: Arrow Season 1

 Back in Season 1 I shipped this, because I don’t really believe in love triangles between three people that geniunily love each other. So this would have been the obvious solution. If Oliver and Tommy would just haved shared Laurel or touched it other as well, well, that would have been up to them. I think that given it’s Tommy, Oliver might have actually gone full in for this.

 19.  Timekid (Wally West/Rip Hunter)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomororw Season 3

 After I saw Rip and Wally do karaoke and get wasted together I was expecting a load of fics, but somehow this pairings seems to have eluded almost everyone. Maybe because no one really cares about Wally? Or because Rip was in bad standing in the middle of that Season? I don’t know, but for me this was a non-brainer.

 18.  Saramaya (Sara Lance/Amaya Jiwe)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomorrow Season 2-3

 I really don’t know why everyone is going on about Kendra and Sara, when they could be going on about this ship were there is actual tension and actual chemistry there. And Doomworld. Don’t forget Doomworld. Where those two totally did it, you can’t change my mind about that.

 17.  Toliver (Tommy Merlyn/Oliver Queen)

 Hinted at: Arrow Season 1-8

 This ship kept coming and going in my mind, because aren’t Oliver and Tommy more like brothers and than like lovers? In the end I saw the potential for a romantic love between them and stettled on it as something that could have been very interesting if done right. I dabbled a little bit with TommyX in that pairing, but why not real Tommy as well?

 16.  Monwinn (Mon-El/Winn Schott)

 Hinted at: Supergirl Season 2-3, It’s a Super Life

 To bad Winn came back married to someone that isn’t Mon-El, because this is what should have happened, you know? Of course Kara is Mon-Els One True Love, but he and Winn were always great together, and given Winn is open minded and Daxamites are not hetero normative this was what we would have wanted after losing both of them in the same episode of the show.

 15.  Kanvers (Kate Kane/Kara Danvers)

 Hinted at: Elseworlds, Crisis on Infinite Earths, The one and only Season of Batwoman

 I figured out why certain hate groups afflilated with „Supergirl“ hate Kate so much (It took me quite some time to rap my head around this), it’s because Kate is Karas only canonical female love interest and those people just can’t stand that thought. Now sady as gone for good as Batmoore Kanvers was what I would have originally wanted for Kara after it became clear that Mon-El was not coming back to the show. I mean I love Kate, and Kara did flirt back, so why the hell not?

 14.  Irivarry (Iris West/Oliver Queen/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 1, Invasion, Crisis on Earth-X, Elseworlds

 While I stumbled over quite a few fics that include Oliver, Felicity, and Barry, I never really found this one, even though it’s much more obvious to me. After all this was set up way back in the first season of „The Flash“ and especially in Season 5 and a certain part of Season 7 of „Arrow“ I felt that it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for Oliver to visit our favourite Canon-Pairing in Central City and crash on their couch indefinitly which would lead too many interesting things among them this threesome. And yes, again a fic I never got around to write.

 13.  Atomsteelwavevixen (Ray Palmer/Nate Heywood/Mick Rory/Amaya Jiwe)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomorrow Season 2-3

 I prefere Steelatom and Vixenwave as bros, but as a foursome those four rock the libido and the Waverider. Given how much I do ship Atomwave and Vixensteel and that I also do ship Steelwave und Atomvixen that shouldn’t be a surprise, and you should know by now, that I do believe more partners make (fictional) relationships easier instead of more complicated.

 12. Captains3 (Sara Lance/Rip Hunter/Leonard Snart)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomorrow Season 1

 Given that Sara and Rip, Sara and Leonard, and Leonard and Rip would not last together, my solution to this would be to get together as a threesome. Which was after all my endgame in my biggest Fanfiction-Verse and turned out to be a smashing idea.

 11.  Eobarry (Eobard Thawne/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 1-6 (so far)

 Fanboy Eobard might have come to hate Barry, but a part of him never stopped loving the scarlet speedster as we all know. What kind of love that was may have varied, but this kind was probably among it, and I think that if he would prove to Barry that he could change Barry would always give him a chance, because that’s after all who Barry is.

 10.  GreenAtom (Oliver Queen/Ray Palmer)

 Hinted at: Arrow Season 3-4, Legends of Tomorrow Season 1, Crisis on Infinite Earths

 A very underapprecaited ship that I love dearly. Ray und Oliver together have so much potential. I dabbled a little bit with that, but only few other ever did. Ray would basically be a better version of Felicity, having all what the fans love about their dynamic, but none of the issues that come with her. Also Oliver would date another hero, which is always a plus.

 9.      Elongflash (Ralph Dibny/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 4-6

 I frankly never understood why people did not ship them more and there are so little fanfics about those two, I mean it’s a classic love story really. Attraction first, misunderstanding leading to years of silence, meeting again and talking it out, becoming friend and eventually more. I did dabble with it a bit and wish others would have taken to that ship around Season 4 already and not only in the last couple of years.

 8.      Allenbert (Barry Allen/Julian Albert)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 3

 For a long time I thought that that would be the reveal about Julians problem with Barry. Appearantly so did the actors. Or at least they wished it were. Their hate-love was so enjoyable and fans had their fun with this at least but could have had more fun still. Tom mentoned that was ready to come back to the show sometime back, and while I have little hope for that I still want it to happen so that we can get more interaction between them on screen.

 7.      Winniac-5 (Winn Schott/Brainiac-5)

 Hinted at: Supergirl Season 3 and Season 5

 I am one out of two persons in the world who ships this, but I ship it hard. I wanted Winn to have love, but after it became clear that the actress who played his Season 2 love interest wasn’t coming back, it probably had also become clear that Jeremy did plan on leaving the show, so the writers didn’t bother anymore, but Brainy crashed so beautifully with him so I picked him for that role. And even though I love Nia and Brainia I love Winniac-5 more.

 6.      Olivarry (Oliver Queen/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: Arrow Season 2-3, The Flash Season 1, Legends of Yesterday/Today, Invasion, Crisis on Earth-X, Elseworlds, Crisis on Infinite Earths, Arrow Season 7-8

 As unlucky as Olivers love life is, maybe that’s the case because the actual love of his life happens to be a man, which he is not willing to admit to himself of course. I mean we all remember the joke about Barry wanting to date Oliver and agree on that probably being true, but Oliver cleary is kind of in love with Barry too. He has been very different with him than most if not all other males in his life so there definitifly is something going on there.

 5.      Coldflash (Leonard Snart/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 1-3, Legends of Tomorrow Season 1-2, Invasion

 Leonard flirts with everything that moves, but Barry has a special place in his heart and we all love that. Leonard ist a player however, and makes sure everyone knows that, but if there is one person out there who he would be willing to change for it would probably be Barry. If only they weren’t mortal frenemies and Leonard wasn’t – you know – dead.

 4.      Thallen (Eddie Thawne/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 1-3

 Barry und Eddie were crushing hard on each other, there is no denying that. They even had a moment onscreen where the tension between them was aknowleged (remember the sofa-scene?). I saw a pretty accurate joke about the Season 1 love triangle once which stated that Iris felt guilty about having feelings for Barry while dating Eddie, while Eddie at the same time was doodeling Eddie Allen in his notebook and that really nails it, doesn’t it?

 3.      Timecanary (Rip Hunter/Sara Lance)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomororw Season 1-3

 Sara has many admirers onscreen and out of all her many suitors Rip is the one I would want to see her ending up with. If he wasn’t dead, that is. Rip kind of had a thing for her from day one on and during Season 2 she seemed to realize that she had feelings for him too, but sadly Season 3 ripped them apart (pardon the pun) in every possible way. But there is still fanfic. I just wish there were more of it with them as the main couple.

 2.      Atomwave (Ray Palmer/Mick Rory)

 Hinted at: Legends of Tomorrow Season 1-5, Crisis on Infinite Earths

 This is my Legends-OTP and I am still not over the fact that Ray is out of the show and so is this ship! When Iris und Barry got together on „The Flash“ even my brother was like: „Wait a moment … Barry und Iris are a couple, that means Mick still has a shot to get Ray next season!“ So yeah, no one could deny that their relationship was very prominent in the first two seasons. Sadly it faded in the backround when Ray met Nora Darhk, but in my opinion this would have been the much healthier endgame for him, which is why you find traces of this ship in pretty much all of my Arrowverse Fanfics.

  1.      Westhallen (Iris West/Eddie Thawne/Barry Allen)

 Hinted at: The Flash Season 1-3

 This is how you solve a love triangle, that does not need to be one, when all three parties have certain feelings for all the other members of the triangle: Just get them all together. I mean I love Westhawne, I love Thallen, and I love Westallen, but most of all I love Westhallen. Too bad poly is still a taboo in TV, and don’t get me started on the sin of killing of Eddie and never ever bringing him back not even an alternate version of him or something like that, but yeah in my heart those three were happy with each other and when Eddie died both Iris und Barry lost the man they loved. (And sometimes they got him back and other times they never lost him at all).

[5hfanfiction]

HURT (Camren) One Shot

It doesn’t feel right with you gone, It hurts too much to be left alone, I know I was never in your plans, But it doesn’t feel right in her bed, It hurts to know…

***

Lauren’s POV

Have you ever met someone and they’re so fucking perfect in every single way?

And maybe, they’re not perfect to everyone else but they are to you.

They’re just absolutely amazing.

The way they laugh. The way they smile, talk and look, every single thing about them that they do, they just keep on amazing you.

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s clear from the very start, that the two of you, on some level are meant to be together. As lovers, as friends, or as something entirely different. You just work together, whether you understand one another, or you’re in love or just partners in crime. You’re going to meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, in strange circumstances, and they help you feel alive.

I don’t know if it makes me believe in coincidence, fate or maybe just sheer luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.

When I met Camila, she made me feel again. I had locked my heart out to the world, and didn’t want to feel anything after all the bullshit I’ve been through, but she came into my life like a whirlwind,and messed up my life in a way that I ant forget.

I couldn’t regret any moment with her that we spent together.

The thing is, you can be in a relationship for two years and feel nothing; but yet, you could meet someone and be in a relationship for two weeks and feel every single thing you wanted to feel.

Time is not a measure of love.

I told her that I loved her after a month because I felt every single thing when I was with her. Those stupid butterflies, pure happiness… everything.

It took some time for her to say it back, but she did. And for once, I was happy.

But the thing about my happiness, is that it always finds a way to leave me.

We were toxic, and it’s ironic because even though we were meant to be, I think that we met at the wrong time.

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. In fact, some of them love us dearly, and many of them have good intentions. But most of them are toxic because in a sense, their needs, and way of existing forces us to compromise our ourselves and our happiness. That doesn’t make them bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us.

And as hard as it is, maybe it’s best for us to let them go.

Life is hard enough as it is, but it’s going to get harder having people in it who constantly bring us down. And as much as you care about them, you can’t keep destroying yourself for the sake of someone else.

You have to make yourself a priority, whether you have to break up with the person, even if you care so deeply about them. Whether it’s loving them from a distance, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful, you have every right to leave and create a safer place for yourself.

At least, that’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself as to why we’re no longer together.

See, Camila had her needs and her wants. We wanted different things but she wasn’t willing to compromise her happiness, for the sake of our happiness. And I can’t blame her, you must always put yourself first, even if it meant breaking someone’s heart.

Breaking my heart.

I simply cannot hate her.

Our relationship was toxic. We loved each other but it was a constant back and forth from bliss to pain, pain to bliss. We couldn’t be the people who we wanted to be. We were too tied up in each other. It didn’t help that you wanted someone else. It didn’t help that you didn’t love me the way I loved you.

Our love was real but maybe, it just wasn’t the right time.

We needed to love ourselves first. And maybe, one day, we’ll meet again and never let each other go.

You see, at first, I did regret her.

I regretted ever giving her the satisfaction of having me so easily. I would lay in bed, awake at 2am, with tears streaming down my face, hating myself for allowing my walls to crumble because she said I would be safe with her. I regretted crying in her arms, allowing her to see me as vulnerable. Something I always hated was crying in front of someone, and I allowed myself to do that with her.

I would regret the memories we made at 2pm, and I would regret the late night phone calls, as I fucked up my sleep schedule for her, just so that I could hear her laugh and talk about absolutely nothing with her.

Now?

Now, I’m just so thankful for you.

You thought me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with showing a woman just how crazy I was for her, it’s not my fault that you were incapable of loving me back the way I loved you.

You thought me my worth.

And even though, I know I deserve more than you, I still wish for it to be you. I still wish that one day, you would come to your senses and allow yourself to finally let your walls down and let me love you.

Because of you, I finally felt what love was supposed to feel like, even if it was just a mere few months.

It was the best months of my life.

I am forever grateful for you.

***

“It was probably my fault for getting so damn attached to you,” I whispered in your ear, as I held you close to me, afraid that if I were to let you go, you would leave again. “Both of us knew that you would leave eventually.”

You looked at me with so much concern in your eyes, as if you had never meant to hurt me the way you did. And I think you had never set out to intentionally hurt me. Just that, in the end, you had a choice between breaking your heart or mine.

Unfortunately for me, you chose to break mine.

“I mean, really we were bound to end, and you were bound to be the one to end it.” I sighed. Because I was too in love with you to ever let you walk away from me. “I guess, I just kind of hoped that you loved me enough to fight, you know?” I laughed trying to will myself not to cry. I was so sick and tired of crying over you. “Everyday, Camz…. everyday I would wake up and wonder why. Why it went wrong? Why it happened the way it happened? And why I had to be the one to get so attached. It doesn’t seem fair at all for me to be the one who’s still hurting while you’re off in some new romance…happy.”

You tried to pull away from me, but I held you back. I needed to get this off my chest, because if I didn’t, it would continue to destroy me.

“You…you don’t have to wake up or go to sleep thinking of how much you miss it, but I do. And it always hurts a little bit more each time, even if I don’t say it.”

If I only knew to love you meant I would lose me, would I still do it?

If I was given the opportunity all over again, would I still choose you?

The answer is, yes.

In a thousand lifetimes, all different from the other, if given the chance to fall in love with you, I would do it all over again.

I don’t know if it makes me stupid, but I can’t help it.

You were my person.

And what am I to do now that I’ve lost my person?

“Laur…” you whispered out. Trying to find something to say, but I knew that there was absolutely nothing you could say to heal my heart.

The person who broke you cannot put you back together again.

I’ve learnt that the hard way.

So you just settled with an “I’m sorry.” As you pulled away from me, I didn’t try to hold you back, because I know that this conversation was hurting you.

“I know,” I smiled sadly at the floor. “I know…”

I heard you sigh heavily but you didn’t say anything. I just wanted you to say something, anything. But all I heard was your breathing, as you willed yourself to not cry because you hated it just as much as I did.

“There’s just this void in my heart that I can’t fill,” I patted my chest. “I know I was never in your plan…but it just doesn’t feel right with you gone. It hurts too much to be left alone.”

You turned and looked at me, for a split second, I saw regret in your eyes. And for a split second, I thought that you would come running back to me, but you shook your head and snapped out of it.

“It doesn’t feel right in her bed,” you whispered. It was barely audible, but I managed to catch it.

I keep telling myself that it’s time to move on, but it’s hard to get close to you when you have up a guard.

“I’ve been trying so hard to find anything that can just fill in the void in my chest,” I ran a shaky hand through my hair, and looked you in the eyes. Those same eyes I always loved looking into. “You should know that it takes everything within me to delete when I’m sending a text.”

“I’m not good for you, Lauren,” you told me for what I could only assume was the hundredth time. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me make my own decisions.

Why do you keep making them for me?

What if someone who is so constant in your life, suddenly disappears? I don’t think I could ever recover from that heart break, and I’m seeing that for myself now.

That was always my biggest fear when I was younger. That was why I was always so scared to get attached. I never liked the idea of giving someone the power to destroy my heart by choosing to walk away. I wanted to guard myself. I wanted to save my heart.

Guess I failed, huh?

People don’t miss the drugs. You won’t hear someone say that they miss heroine or that they miss cocaine.

You always hear people talk about how it made them feel, and that’s what they miss.

It’s the same way with people I think. You don’t always miss the person, but rather, you miss how you felt when you were with them.

You miss how they made you feel and the sad truth is, you know that you’ll never feel that way again, unless you are with them.

I’m still trying to figure out how one person can be both your heaven and hell. How they can be your source of happiness but also your source of pain.

Your darkest place and your safest place.

The angel that brings you love, and the demon that breaks your heart.

“I don’t want you to hate me, Lauren.” You said, taking my hand in yours.

I wanted to tell you that I could never hate you, and believe me I tried to hate you. With every fibre of my being, I tried but it could never happen.

And honestly, it sucks.

But how can I hate the one person that I’ve ever truly loved?

You weren’t my first love, but I still and I will always care deeply about you.

I don’t hate her for breaking my heart and giving me the most unbearable pain that I’ve had to feel.

I wish I did, but I don’t.

I could never.

It still hurts that I gave my all and it didn’t work out. Maybe if I had done something differently or said my feelings sooner, maybe just maybe.

We’re both in our 20s, and neither of us aren’t the people who we used to be a year ago.

I’m not the girl I was when I met you and fell in love with you, and neither are you the girl I fell in love with.

Maybe we will meet again in a different city, a few years from now, or in a different lifetime. And maybe, this time, things won’t be the way it was.

Maybe this time you won’t abandon me.

“Please remember me,” you looked at me with pleading eyes. “That’s all I want to say. Please remember me.    When it’s raining on a Sunday afternoon, please remember the day that I told you I loved you, because I really did. Please think of me when you’re sitting in a coffee shop and you see someone smile. Just remember that I used to look at you like that. Please, remember me when you’re holding someone else’s hand,” you intertwined our fingers. I looked down and couldn’t help the pang that I felt in my chest. “Remember how much it meant to you at the time you held mine, and love her just as much. Because you have so much love left to give.”

I wanted to tell you to stop talking. I wanted to tell you I couldn’t love someone else after you. And I tried to. I ended up in another relationship with someone else. Unfortunately, for her, she fell in love with me, and I tried to love her back, but I couldn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, she was amazing, but she wasn’t you.

“If not to me, to someone else. But just remember how beautiful our love was. Remember the time I took you to that concert you were dying to go to, remember our late night conversations over the phone where I would tease you senselessly,” You caressed my cheek, my eyes fluttered shut as I enjoyed your touch.

Because I knew this was going to be our good bye.

I think it hurts the worst when you stop thinking about them. But regardless of how much times passes, little pieces of them always find their way back into your life.

Whether you laugh and it sounds just like theirs. Or you’re out and you order the exact same meal they used to. Or you rewatch a movie you used to watch together. No matter how hard you try to push them away, they always make their way back into your life, and that’s what hurts the most.

“Build off it. Make our love better. Love who you’re supposed to love. But make her feel just as special as I did, because I sure as hell can’t seem to forget.” You smiled sadly at me. “I can’t forget the cheesy things you would say to me, and the way my heart reacted to it. I can’t forget the way you made me feel, Laur.” You brought my hand to your lips and kissed it ever so gently.

I didn’t think when I said this. I allowed it to flow out of my lips. “I love you.” I knew I caught you off guard, but I needed to say it, even if it was for the last time. “I have loved you for so long that it’s going to take a miracle for me to forget how to love you. And I will love you for a lot longer. I just know I will.”

You smiled at me, and for a minute, you looked like the girl I fell in love with.

“I love you too.”

***

There’s more to life than her.

There are cafes with cozy corners, where I can sit and read a good book without being interrupted.

There is that sixty year old couple that walks around the park at 4pm every Friday afternoon.

There are rainy Wednesdays when I’m awaken the the light pitter patter of rain on my rooftop, and there’s Sunday nights where I’m going to pretend that I’m going to seize the upcoming week.

There’s sweet wine to drink and karaoke bars to go to and scream the lyrics of songs with my best friends.

There are adventures awaiting me in a far away country, and a woman that’s waiting to look at me the way I used to look at you.

There’s more to life than heartbreak.

But right now, this heartbreak matters.

Real love is chaotic.

You’re going to lose control, you’re going to lose perspective and you’re going to lose yourself along the way.

The greater the love, the greater the pain.

Though, we aren’t together, and I’m not sure if we’re ever going to be together again, Camila was always going to be my greatest love.

And even if she wasn’t here to stay, I’m happy the universe allowed her soul to stop by and meet mine.

The saddest end to a relationship in my opinion is where you break up with someone who you’re still in love with. It sounds bizarre but it happens, because the truth is, being in love doesn’t always mean you’re happy.

You can continue to love someone even after they’ve hurt you.

But you know deep down inside, that it won’t ever be the same.

There was one point in my life, that I believed that I was unbreakable, or at least my heart was.

You see, I always believed that I would never give my entire heart to someone, that I’d never give someone that power over me.

Well, not necessarily, I always believed that whoever I gave my heart to, would be the one to never break it.

Was I right?

No.

Until we meet again, I need to let you go, and as much as I don’t want to, I need to let you go so that I can finally start living. And I can be all that you made me believe that I was capable of, and maybe one day soon, you’ll be the woman I knew you were deep down.

It was truly an honour having my heart broken by you, Camila Cabello.

It was an honour.

[evannewman91]

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Ex Back On Tinder After A Week

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How Long To Wait To Text Ex Back