#i love them so much ok i just dont talk abt them enough
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monamipencil · 19 hours ago
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another banger from mia. i love this series so much. not only was this chapter so entertaining and hot? it was so fucking dense and complex. i rly loved how you explored their characters more and their relationships too!! it's getting messy and messy i love it!! my fav parts below (they just get lengthier and lengthier but i dont' mind it all 😌)
“O-of geese.”
lmaoo
“Like plural of goose, geese?”  “What other kind of geese do you know, you dumbass.”
he's so dumbie, i love him 🎀
 Watching both men glaring at each other,
teehee *debbie ryan hair tuck* but this is a ick irl and i'd rather die.
Zeus, geese and the Helen of Troy.
i hate zeus with everything in my being.
“We have enough on our plate this season, Soonyoung.” It was very apparent that Seungcheol was trying his best not to meet your eye.
this man child, smh
his expression a lot softer
omg cheol look, we got your report back, it says you have fucking bipolar personality disorder.
“Can someone please explain to this man that I’m not going to listen to him.”
asdfghjkl lmaooo
Soonyoung dropped a kiss on your forehead
??? what are we??
As you slowly turned to Minghao, embarrassed to meet his eye, he straight up shook his head, looking amused.
girl, seriously? lmao
“You left this in my workshop last night….” 
...
“That's mine.’
.......
Fine, if he was going to be a bitch, so were you. Following his suit, you walked out of the hall in the opposite direction, leaving everyone inside baffled.
both of them are immature asf, and lmao i love the drama
But rather than scalding your skin off, the boiling hot water just felt like a tickle.
girlie is a charizard, hot water aint enough, we need lava
Soonyoung had broken up with his girlfriend because of you but neither he nor you were sure about what exactly he felt for you and Minghao? You had noticed he was generally protective of you since you had joined camp and thought it was just because he was nice, but the way he pulled you away from Soonyoung every time the two of you were a little more intimate? That did not seem very ‘general’. 
huhu, this is getting more messy, i love it 😌
Wonwoo - also in his towel, hanging low at his waist, moving as silent as a shadow as he walked towards the showers.
im just a man 😌 i need some of that-
“What can I know?” He raised an eyebrow. “I know you're a loner Y/n. You've been one your whole life. Your biological parents never cared enough about you, you don't have any siblings, you've never bothered to make friends, you've always been alone.”
ok nvm, why would she herself walk into the lion's mouth?
why do I have to try and bother with your existence when you’re just looking for the first chance to run?”
fair, but ... this is the opposite of the communication problems soonyoung is facing. also i like the depth of her character, and his too! i love their complexity
That was until one incident turned your entire life upside down.
i see, i have an idea abt what happened and 👀
You didn’t want this home, you didn’t want these people, you only wanted her. 
that fucking hurts. damn.. i love your descriptions of her pain and complexes. honestly, i completely overlooked the mother part. but it fucking hurts
meet the sight of a set of extremely well chiseled abs, rivets of water dripping down them.
chile, we were just talking abt her mommy issues im not gonna jump onto seokmin's DELICIOUS abs. anyways, damn his abs-
And with that you walked away from there, body alight with a different kind of fire now. You needed to find someone immediately.
 i feel so bad for her
“Hi cow.” You waved at the half asleep animal under the tree, lazily blinking at you.
 RIGHT, HIS COW’S NAME IS COW LMAOO
but Jihoon was not normal and that was confirmed when you opened the door and were greeted by two dozen gym equipment
 ASDFGHJKL
“Why has everyone on camp decided to be shirtless today?”  “Is that why you chose to be bottomless instead?”
LMFAOOOO
“Hot you are.” He mumbled, sitting down on the bench, grabbing a pair of dumbells. “There's way too much heat in your body, which means you're either mad or ovulating and I'm not sure how I can help with either.”
srsly? LEE JIHOON? WHAT ARE WE
“Can I at least tell you without having you stare at me getting dressed?”
i love me a smug man 😌
“Please wear them Y/n. I can barely look at you…”
when was the last time you were in the vicinity of a woman jihoon?
Jihoon rolled his eyes and grabbed you by the waist, hoisting you onto the counter 
 we just got manhandled. Im not okay with this, how dare he? Do it again- 
 “Fire is one of the five natural elements. Even the gods, your mother included, can only control fire, not create it.” 
i rly like the fact that she's afraid oh her own abilities and thinks of herself as a freak (it sounds weird like this). she's better than me if it was me i'm villain laughing and causing a wreak all around while showing off lmao (which obv would get me killed aint no way i'd survive ancient greece)
“Though I can’t promise I can keep my hands to myself.” 
 mingyu, honey, not right now. She’s having an existential crisis 
 The only thing that gave you comfort as he laughed was the knowledge that if you burn, Mingyu was perhaps the only one who couldn’t hurt with your fire. 
 this is oddly romantic 
most scenes tend to involve a minimum of five people.” 
 ???? 
Trying not to smile, Jihoon slotted himself between your dangling legs, pushed the hair off your shoulder, gently tending to your bruises. 
 what are we lee jihoon? 
“Uh…. Demigods are barren Y/n, we…. cannot have children.” 
 the plot keeps getting more complex and im here for it! My god, i feel so sad for her and that’s such a punch in the gut… 
That’s it. That’s what you needed again. A distraction.  
 we need therapy 
“Fucking hell.” Jihoon muttered and in a flash you were pushed up against the wall, trapped between it and him, caged by his arms on either side. “I'm only just a man Y/n.”
😌 he's just a man
“You're gonna cum three times before I do.” 
 i love a self confident man  
“I'm savouring.” He smirked, leaning closer. “I'm in good hands and I know you're soaked. It's only a matter of time before you're begging.” 
 okayyy?? Jee, tone down the dirty talk. Omg, the filth he’s spewing??
“Shit.” Jihoon muttered pulling you up. “That's code purple.”
  our man got cuckholded by a code alert 
“Seungcheol and Y/n, you two will head north.” 
and the plot thickens
“Okay mate, you need to get your head out of your bestie's ass.”
lmaoo
“You're the one in danger.” He corrected. “But yes you are the threat and more importantly, Cheol knows that. He always knew that. It was evident from the start that you were a monster magnet, that you are some kind of anomaly and that making you a part of our camp would only mean more danger but he said it didn't matter. He said as long as someone needed to be saved, he would do it. He said he would be your protector and that's why you're here Y/n - because Cheol made the choice to safeguard you.”
 once again, i love the characters being complex. It could’ve been so simple to just hate him with no reason but damn i respect cheol for this. I love your writing skills and plot building!!
As lightning ripped across the sky, Seungcheol let out a deep breath “Send her away.”
 i love scenes with his powers. It’s hot for some reason lmao (future lola squinting at past lola's comment after knowing the truth)
Yet again you had to remind yourself Natalie was in fact a pig and not a dog. 
 NATALIEEE 
“But I thought you should know - his heart was racing just as fast when you came to talk to him. It always is around you.”
😌
 if only Seungwkan didn't walk over, settling down on the log across yours.
jihoon being cuckholded pt.2
 “I wanted to ask for the ointment you gave me earlier, for bruises. I… have many mosquito bites.”  “Right.” He scratched his head. “I was going to offer you the same.” 
IDIOTS LMAOO, I LOVE THEM SM
Seungkwan’s eyes flickered between the two of you but it was only when Hansol looked up that you realised just how suspicious this must seem.
asdfghjkl
“I’m the Sun’s progeny - a little solar energy goes a long way.” 
i just imagined woozi as little ball of sun, i wanna cry
Something was wrong. 
...
“Because the song you just heard is what we call Apollo’s Anthem.” He cocked his head at you victoriously. “If mastered, the one who plays it can make anyone dance to their tunes, like you just did.” 
holy shit. mia i absolutely love your ability to use mythology like this!! your brain??? omg
“Can we please not talk about your hot math teacher while I'm jerking off?” Jihoon groaned. “Now I'm thinking of my math teacher and he was a gnome of a man.” 
jihoon lmfao ???
“Stop talking and move over.”
any other man would fight these hands for that but i can let lee jihoon slide
“You want me to fuck you.”
lmfaooo
Your bratty-ness was met with a painful spank on the ass.
damn... ofc, it's jihoon with his spanks
“Stay safe doll.”
idk who to fawn over here. sir, my heart cannot take this
“It's always night at her realm. No light, no Gods, no eyes are allowed here.” He gulped as though he suddenly realised the proximity between the two of you. “No one can see us here.” 
ba-bump, ba-bump im sorry lmao i just had to. honestly, if this was a visual novel, i'd dig the fuck out of it
 he pulled you up against him, the lighter dropping from your hands due to the sheer force as your body pressed against his.  “No one can see us Y/n.” He whispered, eyes drifting to your lips. “No one.”  You moaned when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, his hands annoyed by all the armour as though they wanted to rip it out. Looking up at you equally breathless, eyes almost pleading, the words that you'd been dying to hear left his mouth at last.  ��Fuck I've wanted this for so long.” He groaned. “I wanted you for so long Y/n, please….”  he was begging for. Choi Seungcheol wanted to sleep with you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
giggling, blushing, kicking my feet, bitting my hands, bleeding from my nose, dead. omfg, the fucking cliffhanger?? miaa, I LOVE YOU ?!?!
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Camp Seventeen: Chapter 3
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Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13
Word count - 16K
Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut, fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!
Previous chapter
Chapter summary - As the days in camp seventeen unfold the many burdens you had tucked away in your heart, you dive into the sorrows you had presumably left behind. Thankfully (or not) a musical moment and a menacing monster serve as unforeseen distractions.
A/n - I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! As usual, the member and warnings will be added in a weeks time to keep suspense :) This chapter is a bit heavy, the plot is thickening so please do take your time with it - I promise things will make sense eventually!
Special thanks to @monamipencil! Your comments made my day Lola <3
“Chief.” Soonyoung took a worried step forward, hand slipping out from yours. “Is everything okay?” 
“If you’re here it's either not serious enough or it's too serious.” Minghao frowned at Seungcheol, crossing his arms. “My guess is the former.” 
“The camp is under attack.” Seungcheol sighed, running his hands through his hair like he was embarrassed. “Of….” 
“Of what?” 
“O-of geese.” 
“Geese??” Soonyoung looked at him stupidly. “Like plural of goose, geese?” 
“What other kind of geese do you know, you dumbass.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes. 
“I don't know. The kind of geese I know don’t attack human establishments??” 
“It’s obviously some elaborate prank by the children of Nemesis, considering it's their companion.” Muttering, Seungcheol stuffed his hand in his pockets. “Those winged brats are just wreaking havoc everywhere - they’ve broken all of the farm's tools, they’ve made a mess of the dining hall, they’ve shat all over the houses-” Both boys groaned. “-it's a catastrophe.”
“Are we sure it’s not Jeonghan?” Soonyoung narrowed his eyes. “We all know how much he enjoys stuff like this….” 
“Jeonghan also loves to watch the consequences of his very well planned antics.” Seungcheol scoffed. “And he’s not at camp - he said he was going to the city for….. something, I don’t know but no, it’s not him.” 
“If it's not him then how did these birds enter camp at night?” Minghao raised his eyebrows confused. “They shouldn’t have been able to pass Wonwoo’s nighttime defenses.” 
“He says they might have sneaked in during the shift handover. Apparently Hansol and the hounds were the only ones patrolling when he was settling up because Jihoon was busy elsewhere.” Seungcheol looked straight at you, almost accusatorily. 
What the hell, how was this your fault?
“There’s no need to look at her like that.” Minghao took a step forward, half covering you behind his frame. “You should talk to Jihoon about being more responsible with his time.” 
“That’s not the point now.” Watching both men glaring at each other, Soonyoung tried to ease the tension. “We should be discussing how we can get rid of those menaces.”
“We've been trying.” Seungcheol groaned. “But neither Jun nor Hansol are able to communicate with them for some reason. It seems like they are some weird mix of domestic and wild.”
“That's strange.” Minghao frowned, lost in thought. 
“Something does seem off.” Soonyoung agreed. “Not only have they breached Wonwoo's protection but they're also some sort of unheard half breeds? Two anomalies cannot be a coincidence.” 
“Moreover, it's not like the children of Nemesis to prank.” Minghao frowned, staring at the ground. “Pettiness isn't their nature.”
“What other reason could they have to do this?” Seungcheol crossed his arms, muscles tense. “Revenge?” 
“Maybe, or it might not even be them.” Sooonyoung looked lost in thought. “Seungkwan and I will speak around with our contacts. I’m sure we can find out something.”
Seungcheol nodded, “In the meantime we need to clear them from camp premises before they cause more destruction.”
“Then why aren't you at camp doing that chief?” Minghao narrowed his eyes at the leader. “Why is it that you're here, like there's more important things to worry about?” 
You didn’t have to look to tell that Minghao was glancing at you over his shoulder. 
Soonyoung didn't seem to think his presence was suspicious. “He's the Son of Zeus, Hao. Geese and him don't really go well together.” 
You vaguely recalled Jihoon telling you something in the Iliad about Zeus, geese and the Helen of Troy.
“Is that it?” Minghao raised his eyebrow amused. “Big ol’ chief afraid of some feathered friends?” 
“I’m here for Soonyoung.” Seungcheol gritted between his teeth. “And I asked for the message of the attack to be passed to him alone.” 
Your eyes followed Soonyoung’s which focused on the group huddled in the corner - a bunch of the most beautiful people you had ever seen, snickering away.
“Fucking Aphrodite’s children.” He muttered knowing all three of you were purposely misled here in the interest of creating a scene.“How can I help, chief?” 
“We were wondering if your ability to induce intoxication can calm them down so they can be captured?” He looked unsure. “Hansol and Jihoon were ready to shoot down the birds but if this really is a prank, we don’t want to harm their animals and seek trouble with the other camps.” 
“Even though this might be their fault?” 
“We have enough on our plate this season, Soonyoung.” It was very apparent that Seungcheol was trying his best not to meet your eye. “The last thing we need is more camps to be against us.” 
Soonyoung nodded like he understood. “We should leave then but Chan is too drunk to drive-” 
“I got here on Wonwoo’s bike.” Seungcheol waved his hand, dismissing the younger one’s concern. “You and I can head back first and the rest of the team…...Minghao, are you sober?” 
The man in question nodded. 
“Good, gather everyone immediately and make sure they reach camp safely, especially….” 
Seungcheol glanced at you, his expression a lot softer but the anger you felt for him had not changed. 
“I’m not leaving yet.” You spoke up for the first time, earning the leader’s confused look. “I don't want to.”
“Are you drunk?” 
“And what if I am?” 
“It’s a Thursday night Y/n, we have training tomorrow morning-” 
“Ugh I don’t care.” You grabbed a canned cocktail from the nearby table and popped it open, ignoring Soonyoung’s widened eyes. “Your camp, your rules, whatever the hell you’ve got going on, I don’t care for it Cheol- oh sorry, Seungcheol.” You corrected yourself. “I will leave this party whenever I feel like I want to leave this party.” 
“Stop being a child.” Seungcheol was clearly holding back his anger. “There’s enough going on back at camp now for you to-” 
“Exactly, go deal with it chief. I’m sure you’ll all fare better without the “weak link” around.” 
“Y/n I…” He sighed, watching you drink in big gulps. “First of all, you shouldn’t be drinking that-” 
“Can someone please explain to this man that I’m not going to listen to him.” 
“Cheol.” Minghao looked pointedly at his leader who was on the verge of snapping. “I’ll bring everyone back to camp safely…. everyone.” He emphasized again. “You and Kwon should get going now.” 
“Yeah.” Soonyoung nodded before turning to you and grabbing the bottom ends of Minghao’s jacket, aligning them as his voice fell to a whisper. “Y/n, that’s a sex potion too.” 
Eyes popping out, you nearly spat out your drink. “I thought it was just the beer??” He nodded. “Yeah, so did everyone, hence the improvisation.” He pulled the zip up, adjusting the jacket on your shoulders. “Take care sweetie.” 
You nodded, eyes briefly meeting Seungcheol over Soonyoung’s shoulder. He looked…..indifferent as he stared back. 
“Come on Kwon.” He muttered, turning away as the Soonyoung dropped a kiss on your forehead before taking a step back and jogging away to catch up with his leader. You only let out a breath as their figures disappeared in the rain that only got heavier. 
Before you knew it, a familiar feeling began licking up your spine, warmth spreading all over your being just like it had earlier. As you slowly turned to Minghao, embarrassed to meet his eye, he straight up shook his head, looking amused.
“Nah uh. Ignorance I can understand but stupidity?” He scoffed. “That's your problem.” 
“Minghao-” 
“Fight it Y/n.” He grabbed a macaroon, stuffing it in his mouth as he began to walk away from you. “Fight it.” 
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Unlike Seungcheol’s house, the room you woke up in did not have sunlight streaming in. 
Stretching on the large king size bed, you glanced at the now empty space beside you - the man who had given you company last night was no longer there and rightfully so considering it was way past training hours. 
Ignoring the pain in your head, you swung your feet off the mattress, glancing out the window. The view is much nicer than Seungcheol’s house - there all you could see were endless trees and hills but here you could see much more of the camp, particularly the common cabin, where everyone was slowly walking towards after hitting the showers. Slightly annoyed and very bothered that yesterday’s events were about to repeat, you sighed, heading down the stairs, making your way to the dining hall. Unlike yesterday though, no one spared a glance at you as you walked in. 
You could tell they were all tired - you saw much of the aftermath of the geese ambush as you returned to camp late last night. Considering everything looked normal today, you figured the boys must have spent all night cleaning up before reporting to train in the wee hours of the morning. 
“Y/n,” Mingyu’s voice called out to you from behind as you turned to him. “You left this in my workshop last night….” 
As you glanced at the jacket in his outstretched hand, the eyes of the other boys flickered between the two of you. 
“That's mine.’ Minghao walked up, swooping his garment in his hands as the attention of the room shifted to him. You gulped as he walked away from the hall wordlessly. 
You figured you should say something considering the silence was only getting worse, maybe apologise for missing training yet again but before you could say it, Seungcheol got up and walked right past you without saying a word. 
Lips parted, you watched him leave once more, refusing to say anything, refusing to listen to you, simply being stubborn like he always was. 
Fine, if he was going to be a bitch, so were you. Following his suit, you walked out of the hall in the opposite direction, leaving everyone inside baffled. 
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The heat of the water just wasn’t comforting. 
You knew it was hot, there was steam all around, the tiles of the shower were covered in condensation and designs you had mindlessly traced with your finger. But rather than scalding your skin off, the boiling hot water just felt like a tickle. Annoyed, you turned off the pouring water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around your body, tucking it in front of your chest. As you ran your hand through your wet hair, you looked at yourself in the mirror. 
Water was dripping from the wet strands, running down the many darkening, reddish purple marks on your neck and shoulder. You knew they would get darker as days passed but you didn’t expect them to look so bruised up already. Running your finger across them you sighed - last night was a horrible mistake. Sure you were under the influence of some messed up concoction but sleeping with more than one member of the camp was ridiculous to say the least. 
What was more burdensome was the idea that maybe there was more than the concoction involved…. Soonyoung had broken up with his girlfriend because of you but neither he nor you were sure about what exactly he felt for you and Minghao? You had noticed he was generally protective of you since you had joined camp and thought it was just because he was nice, but the way he pulled you away from Soonyoung every time the two of you were a little more intimate? That did not seem very ‘general’. 
Shutting your eyes, you tried to push the details of last night out of your mind. Thank god you listened to your trainer when he told you to fight it. Otherwise when you asked Mingyu if you could crash at his place in order to avoid Seungcheol and found yourself sharing his king size bed, maybe you would have allowed yourself to make another mistake. You couldn't make another one so soon. 
Tightening the grip of your towel, you turned towards the changing rooms, slightly startled by the figure that just walked in.
Wonwoo - also in his towel, hanging low at his waist, moving as silent as a shadow as he walked towards the showers. You should have felt exposed, more conscious, given you were barely dressed, and covered in innumerable hickies but you didn't feel a thing. Because Wonwoo hadn't spared you a glance. He walked past you like he couldn't care less, like you weren't there. 
“What is your problem?”
After days of watching this man behave so unnecessarily indifferent to you, you finally spoke up, mind already disturbed by a hundred and one things. 
“Why do you always behave like I don't exist?” You crossed your arms, staring him down. “If you're an introvert, I can understand, Hansol doesn't interact with me much either but at least he doesn't behave like I'm invisible, like he can see right through me-”
“Because I can.” His voice left him deep and cold as he turned to you. “Because I can see right through you.”
You scoffed. “What-”
“Because regardless of what you pretend to be in front of others, I can see the real you. I know things about you that you won't even admit to yourself.” 
 “What-” You emphasised again. “-can you possibly know?.”
“What can I know?” He raised an eyebrow. “I know you're a loner Y/n. You've been one your whole life. Your biological parents never cared enough about you, you don't have any siblings, you've never bothered to make friends, you've always been alone.” He took a step forward. “Even though it was circumstances that drove you to loneliness, you always told yourself that it was your choice, that you wanted to be alone because it’s easier that way. It’s easier to tell yourself that you chose to distance yourself from everyone rather than admit that you were rejected. You knew you would never be accepted. You knew no matter where you were and what you did, you would never fit in. You knew you were a freak.” 
Eyes widening, you stared at his nearing figure. 
“But now? Now you're finally in a place where you belong. You are finally with your kind but you're still terrified - you're scared that maybe, this isn’t where you’re meant to be either. You're scared that if you accept these people and they find out what you really are, they'll leave you too. They'll break the heart you've been safeguarding for all these years.”
Your heart was quite literally in your mouth. 
“That's why you rebel. That's why you call this place 'camp' and never ‘home’. You say things are hard and you're having trouble adjusting but what you're really trying to do is establish that you always are and always will be an outsider - you’re trying to escape the pain that will come when you're finally abandoned. That is why you'll always look for reasons to leave this camp. You'll never let yourself belong, you'll never let yourself become one of those here. So tell me, why do I have to try and bother with your existence when you’re just looking for the first chance to run?”
And somehow, now you could feel the heat all over. It was uncomfortably coursing through your whole body, burning you inside out in a way that made you want to rip out your skin but you already felt so bare, so naked in front of this man. 
But before any words could leave you at all, Wonwoo took a step back and then another till he retreated out of sight and into the showers. It was only when he disappeared that you finally let out the breath you were holding.
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Maybe the more logical thing to do was to dive into the lake before you hit the showers but here you were, stripping into just your inner wear and jumping into the ice cold waters, desperate to cool yourself off. As you submerged yourself further in the waters, you shut your eyes, submerging into the darkness as well. 
The fire burning inside you because of Wonwoo's words was just not dying. For the first time ever, it felt like you had truly looked into a mirror because every single word that came out of that man's mouth was true. So, so true. 
And he was right when he said you've never admitted these things even to yourself because you were never really one for introspection. It wasn't like you to explore your thoughts, understand your nature, figure out the intentions of your actions. No, none of that. 
You were impulsive. You dived head first into things. You made decisions, then considered the consequences. You were reckless, you lived fearlessly, you lived like no one and nothing else mattered. 
Because nothing else did matter. 
Ever since you were young, you were on your own. You were not even sure when your mother left you, you had no memories of her and your father? The man who was barely ever present, abandoned you 3 days before your 12th birthday. From then your life had been just yours alone. You worked odd jobs to feed yourself, you worked hard to study, you studied harder to work better and life just went on like that. You didn't have many friends to compensate for the solitude either. Making friends was somehow not very easy for you - how were you supposed to explain the shambles of your life to people? How were you supposed to establish any kind of relationship with anyone when the only ones you ever had, walked out on you? 
You were better off alone. You were always better off alone.
That was until one incident turned your entire life upside down.
The days leading up to your arrival at camp are still a blur to you. The flames, the masked men, the court, the meeting of dozens of people - it all still felt like a fever dream. But one moment was still very clear in your memory - the moment when you were standing at the shrine of your mother, in front of her statue. 
Goddess of the hearth, home and hospitality they said. The old man beside you was going on and on about her. About her powers, about what a wonderful woman she was, about how delighted you'd be to meet her. 
You, though, felt like you were stabbed in the heart you had so carefully locked away. 
When the masked men revealed the truth of your parentage, when you learnt about your mother, you let that hope in you grow again. You thought maybe with this big secret finally out you’ll finally get to meet her. That she would finally be a part of your life. 
That’s why when they gave you a choice at the swearing in ceremony to join camp seventeen or go back to your mortal life, you chose the former. It was for her, it was to be with your mother, it was to finally feel home. 
But as you stared at her statue, offering your respects after the ceremony, it was like someone was drowning you in cold water. Nothing about the expression on her face felt remotely homely, nothing about her felt warm and loving to you - she did not feel like a mother. Rather she felt cold, distant and unwelcoming, just like you imagined the woman who abandoned you would look like. 
And with time, you realised your fear was right. 
Ever since you arrived at camp, all you did was wait. Wait for just one conversation, maybe an explanation, or even just a glimpse. But there was no indication of her. She didn’t drop by the camp, she didn’t respond to your invocation at the temple, she didn't care at all, just like she hadn’t in the last twenty five years. 
The pain of being re-abandoned was so strong that, with each passing day, it began to gnaw on your insides. The breaking point was perhaps realising that you were her only progeny yet you didn't matter to her. It was a blow you had refused to accept but one that had most definitely broken you internally. You had uprooted your whole life for her, you made this new world yours but at what cost - daily incessant instructions to train, classes after classes teaching you how to fit in, members continually trying to make you feel at home. You didn’t want this home, you didn’t want these people, you only wanted her. 
Wonwoo was right, you were never here to be a part of this camp, it was merely a stepping stone to your final goal. You were indeed looking to run. 
But before you could wonder about how Wonwoo knew all these things about you, a hand wrapped around your waist. In a flash it pulled you out and tossed you onto the bank as you launched into a coughing fit, throwing up water. 
“What the hell Y/n?” A worried voice patted your back. “What were you thinking?” 
In between your fit, you raised your head to meet the sight of a set of extremely well chiseled abs, rivets of water dripping down them. Gulping you cleared your throat and scooted back, suddenly aware that you were very very minimally dressed. 
Your saviour Seokmin, looked away from you realising the same as he grabbed the shirt he had tossed into the grass before jumping into the water and handed it to you. Taking it from him, you slipped it on. 
“What is wrong with you?” 
“What?” You frowned. “I'm fine.” 
“You were underwater for so long, I thought you drowned…” Seokmin muttered, pushing his wet hair off his face. “Are you okay?” 
“I'm okay.” You mumbled. You weren't but you knew he wasn't referring to your broken heart. 
“You looked distressed.” Or maybe he was. 
“I just… had some thinking to do.” 
“Well underwater isn't the best place for that if I'm being honest.” He chuckled. “Unless you're Poseidon's child.” 
“What, only you have a claim on water?” 
“No, only we can breathe underwater.”  He somehow looked embarrassed. “Though I was well into my teens before I discovered that.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I was terrified of water as a child, wouldn't go near it.” He laughed. “Ironic for the Son of the Sea right?” 
You scoffed. “A little.” 
“When my aura got stronger, my father found me and helped me get habituated to the waters, that's how I-” 
“Your father?” You gulped, knowing the answer even as you asked him. “Your father as in Poseidon? Poseidon helped you?” 
Seokmin nodded like it was obvious. “I was so scared of any kind of water body, he would lure me in with my favourite snacks. As I got older, I stopped falling for such tricks so he took me to Olympus and made sure I was personally trained in those olympic size pools-”
“Fucking hell.” You got to your feet, much to Seokmin's confusion, tripping as you did. 
“Y/n careful!” He quickly got up, catching you before you hit the ground again. “Are you okay-” 
“No.” You shook your head.“I am not.” 
And with that you walked away from there, body alight with a different kind of fire now. You needed to find someone immediately. 
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“Jihoon, we need to talk.”
As you slammed the door of Jihoon’s house open, you were met with silence. 
This was the first time you were in his residence and somehow if you had to picture how his home looked, it was nowhere close to this. You assumed the son of the Sun would prefer whites or lighter colours but most of the minimal furniture in his house was a dark black, standing out starkly in the small room. But right now wasn't the time for you to ponder about his interiors, there were more important things you needed to talk to him about. 
Turning on your heel, you shut the door behind you, wandering into this backyard instead. You knew Jihoon had his own personal gym somewhere there and if Soonyoung was right about his tendency to work out, it was highly likely you would find him there. 
“Hi Cow.” You waved at the half asleep animal under the tree, lazily blinking at you. As though it read your mind, it pointed its head towards the small path on the side before tucking its head between its legs and dozing off. You followed its directions, reaching a large tinted greenhouse and when you opened the door you were greeted by two dozen gym equipment. In the middle of it all was the man you were looking for, his bare back facing you as he hung off a bar, pulling himself up with way too much ease. 
“Y/n.” Well it was no surprise he recognised you without even a glance. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 
“Why has everyone on camp decided to be shirtless today?” You mumbled, walking in, looking around. 
Chuckling, Jihoon jumped off, turning to you as he landed. Eyes running down your body, he cocked his head. “Is that why you chose to go bottomless instead?” 
And it was only then that you realized you didn't fully dress yourself before storming away from the lake in just Seokmin's shirt. 
“I was hot.” You shrugged, pulling down the shirt.
“Hot you are.” He mumbled, sitting down on the bench, grabbing a pair of dumbells. “There's way too much heat in your body, which means you're either mad or ovulating and I'm not sure how I can help with either.” 
“The former.” You rolled your eyes. “And only you can help with it.”
“Go on.” He sighed, curling the weights, his biceps bulging with every move. Tearing your eyes away, you cleared your throat. 
“I want to meet my mother.”
“Which one?”
“Hestia.” You crossed your arms. “I have something to ask her.”
“I'm still missing the part where I can help.” 
“You said you'll teach me how to reach out to her.” 
“I did.” He grunted, focusing on his workout. “And I will, every Thursday at 4-” 
You grabbed the dumbbell with surprising ease and put them down before leaning over the man before you, expression threatening. 
“Lee Jihoon, I swear to god, if you don't help me right now…”
Your words trailed away as his eyes shifted down to your neck, the shirt no longer hiding the bruises that were littered all over it. You glanced down before straightening yourself, taking a step back. Jihoon got up, pushing his hair back, eyes fixed on you. 
“I just…” You sighed. “I just want to meet her once.” 
“Then go to the camp temple and invoke her presence.” 
“I have, everyday. She doesn’t respond.” 
“Then there’s no way I can help you Y/n.” He grabbed his towel, wiping the sweat off his arms. “One can only meet Gods if they wish to meet you and I think your mother has made her wishes very clear.”
“I don’t care what she wishes.” You spoke between gritted teeth. “And you said if I played my cards right, my mother would come looking for me.” 
“I also said it would take years of training to become worthy of that.” 
“I don't have years, Jihoon. I want to meet her as soon as I can.” 
“And why the newfound urgency?” He frowned. “What changed overnight?” 
Wonwoo. 
“Seokmin said his father taught him to swim, that as a child he took him to Olympus.” 
“So?”
“So how come my mother never cared, Jihoon? Why is it that she still doesn't?” 
“I already told you-”
“I don't buy that.” You shook your head. “How can a mother be ashamed of having a child? Of her only child?” 
“You'd be surprised.” Jihoon looked at you pitably. “Gods aren't like humans.” 
“Then let her say that to me.” You took a deep breath. “Let her give me that closure so I can stop losing my mind over this. I just want one meeting with her please, is there really no way?” 
“There is one.” He hummed, crossing his arms, his pecs bulging behind them. 
“And what is that?” 
“By doing a sacrifice.”  
“Sac-sacrifice?” You looked at him shocked. “Like those cult stuff?” 
Jihoon rolled his eyes, forgetting just how little you knew about this world. “Sacrifice is an age-old tradition made by our ancestors to please the gods, to gain their favours.” He leaned against the treadmill, slipping into his professor role, just like he had yesterday. “At times of droughts, they used to call on Zeus for rains. When crops were ravaged by pests, Demeter was the one to turn to. When they were at war, Ares was their savior. But,” He sighed. “calling upon a god was not so easy - it required time and perseverance and procedure-” 
“What kind of procedure?” 
“It was insanely complex.” Reaching for his bottle, Jihoon began walking out of the greenhouse, you following closely behind. “First, men would have to climb to the top of mount Olympus to get holy fire, then they would gather items for sacrifice. Every god has a set of items that they just cannot refuse. Dionysus loves his gemstones, Poseidon will do anything for seasalt. Artemis is harder to please, she likes a very specific kind of wildflower. If one offered enough of these to please the gods, then they would appear and were obliged to extend one favour in exchange. But ‘enough’ was where the problem lied.” As he bent down to pet Cow, you stared far off at the horizon, lost in thought.  ”The Gods were incredibly difficult to satisfy, it took large amounts for anything to be ‘enough’ for them. There were demigods who had spent ages trying to invoke them, even losing their minds in the attempts.” 
“That’s degenerate.” You frowned, as he stopped again, this time to grab a bunch of herbs from the wall of his house.
“It was.” He began plucking the leaves, grabbing handfuls. “Eventually, when the Oracle of Delphi was made in charge of the Demigods, things changed. Any demigod who wished to do a sacrifice had to obtain a scroll from her - the Scroll of Sacrifice. A piece of paper that would explicitly state just one thing that the gods wanted in exchange for a favour.” 
Pushing the nearby door open, he stepped in. 
“So you’re saying,” You followed him into his house. “-the only way for me is to go to the oracle, get a scroll, sacrifice whatever is needed and then in exchange I can earn her favour and make her answer my questions?” 
“Theoretically yes, but in reality,” He shook his head, opening yet another door and walking in. “it won’t be that easy.” 
“Why not?” 
“Delphi only hands scrolls to very few demigods, ones she deems worthy and even if she does, they're incredibly difficult - the sacrifice demanded in exchange is almost always impossible to let go.” 
“How hard can it be?” You frowned. “What kind of sacrifices do they ask for?” 
Jihoon sighed, the incessant questions finally getting to him. “You do know your weekly classes are for exactly such information right?” 
“But I want to know right now.” 
“Can I at least tell you without having you stare at me getting dressed?” 
Oh.
Apparently you had walked behind him straight into his dressing room. 
Muttering an apology, you stepped out as he shut the door behind you. 
“So,” You half spun on the balls of your foot. “You were saying?” 
Another one of Jihoon’s sighs reached you before his voice. “The Gods are not fond of being obliged to hand out favours - that's why they make sacrifices nearly impossible. I heard Apollo asked for a demigod’s sight and the boy fell to his death before he could even ask for what he wanted. Aphrodite made one of her own children give up her ability to love…..  it drove her to insanity. And one of those who prayed to Zeus has been chained to a rock on an abandoned island for nearly twelve years and he still has five more years to go. There are endless stories like this Y/n and each of them will only tell you not to opt for such madness.” He opened the door, now fully dressed, a pair of shorts in his hand. “Here.” 
You took it from him, looking a little stumped. “Please wear them Y/n. I can barely look at you…” He muttered walking away again and you quickly slipped on the pair that was just a little too big for you. Following him past a room full of what seemed like musical instruments, you walked into a small pantry. 
“What about Hestia?” You gulped, images of her cold face flashing before you. “What has she asked in exchange?” 
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He threw the herbs he had gathered earlier into a motor. “I’ve never heard of anyone who’s really seeked her favour.” 
You scoffed. “Of course not, what would they ask her help for? Light up their fireplace?” 
Jihoon looked up from the paste he was crushing, slightly miffed. “Your mother is no minor goddess Y/n. She's the caretaker, the protector. Hestia is worshiped in every place called home.” 
“How ironic.” You smiled sadly. “Her own daughter has never had a home.” 
“Unfortunately, no god considers it their responsibility to take care of their bastard children.” He looked pointedly at the counter. “Sit.” 
“Why?” 
“Just sit Y/n.” 
“But why?” 
Sighing, Jihoon rolled his eyes and grabbed you by the waist, hoisting you onto the counter effortlessly as you bit back a scream. As though nothing happened, he continued to do whatever it was he was doing while you tried to calm your uncharacteristically racing heart. 
“It's also unfair to blame Hestia for not having a home when your mortal parents were the one who were supposed to care for you.”
“I know.” You muttered looking down at your fiddling fingers. “This may sound insane but finding Hestia might be easier than finding my mortal parents…. I don't know a thing about them.” 
“I know someone on camp who can help-” 
“But I don't want to find them….yet. I don't know what to ask them.” You looked up as Jihoon pulled out a ladder from the side and began climbing it, reaching for something on the higher shelves. “I’m not prepared to find out if they know the kind of monster I am.” 
“Why would you say that?” He looked at you over his shoulder, frowning. “You don’t even know what your powers are, right?” 
You gulped, staring at the floor, mind racing back to a conversation last night........
“Try not to touch anything.” Mingyu warned as you strolled along his workshop in the faint light of the moonlight. “I’m not really sure if any of these are still hot. I don’t really…. feel heat.” 
As if you did. 
Hanging out with Mingyu wasn’t really on your cards today. After Minghao had left you to deal with your little problem on your own, you had silently made your way out of the house and down the street, searching for a pharmacy. It must’ve been a good twenty minute unsuccessful walk before Mingyu, who was driving around on his bike looking for you, spotted you. You told him you were looking to buy some pills for a headache so he offered to drive you to the nearest store. He didn’t need to know what you really needed was some plan B. After you had procured what you wanted and he started heading back to camp, you told him to take the longest route possible. While he obliged, you wrapped your arms around his waist and drifted off, not wanting to think about all that was plaguing your mind. Not wanting to think about Seungcheol. 
But he’s the first thought on your mind the moment the bike halted at the camp gate. You didn’t want to see him, not now. Mingyu was generous enough to agree when you muttered wanting to take up his offer to crash in his residence. He didn’t question the change of heart, instead he carefully walked you through his workshop, bringing you to the stairs on the other side, leading you up to his house. You though are far too enthralled to follow him.
“You’ve got quite the space here.” You pursed your lips impressed, stripping out of the jacket as he smiled proudly. “Must never be boring.” 
“It isn’t.” He admitted. “Making weapons doesn’t take me too long, leaves a lot of time on my hands for other experiments and endeavors.” 
“Such as?” 
“I like creating little automations.” He shrugged. “Machinery that allows me to be creative and makes life easier. Like the one that's currently out there chopping up wood, for your house.”
“Oh.” You raised your eyebrows looking around. “What else have you made?”
“Too many to remember.” He laughed. “But my best creation is probably my bike. It took months of trial and error. Couldn't have done it without my best buddy.”
“Wonwoo?” You had noticed the two were significantly closer than the rest. There was definitely some story there. 
Mingyu laughed. “Yes Wonwoo is the best but no, I'm talking about that little guy.” 
He pointed behind you and you turned, finding yourself about 500 meters away from a not so little three headed dog, snarling at you with all three of its mouths, drooling leaking from the edges. You took a careful step back and another, crashing into the chest of Mingyu who had sneaked up to you. 
“What is that?” You whispered, voice shaking just a bit. 
“That’s Cerberus, my pet.” 
“That’s a pet?!” 
“It’s Wonwoo’s actually….. But yes, he’s a pet and he’s really friendly, don’t worry.” 
“Huh.” You breathed, not believing his words but only relieved cause you noticed he was chained. “And he helps you with your experiments?”
Mingyu nodded, steering you away from there, walking you toward his house once more. “Cerberus is a very powerful creature - he’s immensely strong, uncharacteristically intelligent and most importantly, he’s my fire source.” 
“Fire source?” 
“The most important tool for a blacksmith like me is the flame - you see those.” He pointed at big cave shaped structures lined neatly on the edge. “Forging presses like that require fires that cannot be ignited by tiny matchsticks. It takes a powerful source to work them, like Cerberus.” 
You tensed, just a little. “So Cerberus can create fire?” 
“He breathes fire.” Mingyu clarified. “Cerberus is from the Underworld, like most mysteries in our world. So yeah, he is one of the few creatures that can create fire.” 
“C-can’t you?” You scratched the back of your head, trying to seem casual. “You said you don’t feel heat so can’t you… make fire too?” 
“Don’t be silly Y/n.” Mingyu scoffed. “Fire is one of the five natural elements. Even the gods, your mother included, can only control fire, not create it.” 
You were right. Even here you were a freak, even here you didn’t fit in. 
None of Mingyu’s excited explanations about the various projects he was working on went into your head. There was only one thing you could think about - You didn’t belong here and you needed to leave before everyone realised that. 
“...and that’s why I don’t have a guest bedroom but don’t worry, my bed is king sized.” Mingyu leaned against the stairs with a small smirk dancing on his face. “Though I can’t promise I can keep my hands to myself.” 
You rolled your eyes, pushing him to lead the way up. The only thing that gave you comfort as he laughed was the knowledge that if you burned, Mingyu was perhaps the only one who couldn’t hurt with your fire......
“Y/n.” Jihoon hopped off the ladder looking at you quizzically. “Where are you lost?” 
“I….” You cleared your throat. “I just meant, I don’t know, what if my mortal parents are aware of any kind of powers I might have? What if… that’s what kept them away from me?” 
“Then that’s all the more reason you have to find them.” Jihoon shrugged. “It would help us-”
“No.” You firmly shook your head. “Just…let me just talk to Hestia first, everything else can wait.” 
“As you wish.” He held up the bowl of whatever concoction he was mixing, a green paste staring at you. “In the meantime…”
“What is that?”
“It's my special ointment for bruises. Makes any and all scars and wounds disappear.” 
“I’m not hurt….” Your voice faded away as Jihoon’s eyes landed on the red, purple and blue trail of hickies on your neck. 
“Are you sure you want to go around parading the evidence of your threesome last night?” 
“I’m not trying to…how do you even know it was a threesome?”
“Those are clearly marked by two different men.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Is this another one of your body reading tricks?” 
“Yes but anyone who knows you were at your first Aphrodite rager last night will be able to guess that much.” Jihoon shrugged, standing right before you. “In fact, three is a rather small number there, most scenes tend to involve a minimum of five people.” 
You felt your jaw hang as Jihoon looked amused. 
“So do you want it gone or not?” 
“Why?” You cleared your throat. “You think I should hide all this in case the other boys make assumptions like yours? That I ought to have some shame?” 
“Not shame, I thought you might appreciate some privacy.” He shrugged. “Given there’s someone who you have been particularly wary of these days.” 
Seungcheol. 
How did this man know everything? 
Sighing, you gripped the edges of Seokmin's shirt and pulled it over your head, baring your neck to the man before you. Trying not to smile, Jihoon slotted himself between your dangling legs, pushed the hair off your shoulder, gently tending to your bruises. 
“It might sting.” He warned right on time as you grabbed his bicep with your free hand, feeling pain shooting up your nerves as the cold ointment touched your skin.
“Breathe.” He instructed, softly running his fingers along your collarbone. “It’ll pass.” 
You figured listening to the expert might be better so you did, trying your best to ignore the intimate proximity between the two of you. 
“While we are at it,” You looked away as he blew on your wounds, cold wind caressing it. “Do you also have something for potential STDs or…. You know, ensuring our kind doesn’t replicate?” 
Jihoon chuckled. “Again, demigods don’t get sick Y/n, STDs don’t mean anything to us and we don’t ‘replicate’ either so there’s really nothing to worry about.” 
Suddenly, every cell in your body stopped functioning. “What do you mean?” 
Jihoon blinked at you like he was only just realising what he said. “Uh…. Demigods are barren Y/n, we…. cannot have children.” 
Though you were sitting it felt like the ground had been pulled from under your feet. Like everything around you had stopped. Like everything had ended.
“Y/n are you okay?” 
How could you be? You just learnt that you could never have children, that you could never be a mother. All your life you didn’t have a family but now? Being a demigod had robbed you of your chance to ever have one in the future. You wanted to peel that part away, rip it and throw it somewhere far away, get rid of this side of you that had done nothing but make everything worse. 
Jihoon seemed to have understood the storm inside you. Or felt it. He was quiet as he grabbed a washcloth and slowly wiped away the ointment, the bruises beneath it starting to look a lot lighter already. As the sting ebbed away, the pain in your heart felt more apparent, coursing through you, hurting everywhere. 
At that moment your eyes trailed over the soft and sharp features of his face burrowed in concentration, your admiration for it overpowering every other thought. 
That’s it. That’s what you needed again. A distraction. 
Now that his job was done, Jihoon tried to move away but your grip on his arm was like a vice. He glanced at it then at you with a raised eyebrow. 
“So you're telling me-” You cocked your head at him. “-even though I let two men cum inside me yesterday and if my prediction is right, another will get his turn today - I'm not at the potential risk of anything?” 
Jihoon raised his eyebrow. “No you're not but pray tell, since when did the daughter of Hestia dabble in predictions? I thought that was in the hands of Apollo's prodigy.” 
“It is.” You ran your hand down his arm, feeling every ridge of muscle under your touch, voice leaving you in a whisper. “The possibility of my prediction coming true or not is in your hands really.” 
Jihoon’s eyes darkened as your tongue darted out to lick your lower lip slowly. Before you knew it, his hands gripped the thickness of your thighs and with a quick jerk he pulled you closer to him, your legs wrapping around his waist. Jihoon looked up at you and you down at him, breaths mingling in anticipation. 
“I know what you're doing Y/n and I know why you're doing this.” He spoke ever so softly. “But I'm not a distraction kind of guy so if there's ever a time you really want me, then you'll have me.”
With that he pulled you off the counter and let you lower your legs on to the floor, looking away. Given the kind of tension and the comfort you had grown to have with him and most importantly how unbelievably hard he was, his length right below your ass, you didn't think he'd say no. It was fair, he was allowed to. It wasn't his fault you were looking to jump any given person just to take your mind off things. 
Nodding, and mumbling a soft thanks for the ointment, you grabbed your shirt and walked past him, only stopping by the corridor to return what was his. 
“Sorry.” Muttering you slid off his shorts and placed it on the shelf beside you. 
Jihoon surprisingly let out a soft groan. You thought it was because you were suddenly minimally dressed but you noticed his eyes were gazing between your legs, on the wet spot of your underwear. You tried to press your legs closer, suddenly feeling very exposed but all it does is darken the spot, making things worse. 
“Fucking hell.” Jihoon muttered and in a flash you were pushed up against the wall, trapped between it and him, caged by his arms on either side. “I'm only just a man Y/n.”
Your eyes flickered down to his pants, the outline of his hard on starkly visible. “Uh huh.” 
“Do you still want this?” 
You cocked your head, hand running down his chest and over the tent in his pants as you smirked. “I predicted it.” 
“Allow me to make a pre-” His words faltered as you squeezed his length. “-prediction as well.” 
“By all means.” 
“You're gonna cum three times before I do.” 
“Oh really?” You raised your eyebrows and spat into your hand, slipping it past the waistband of his pants, wrapping your hand around his length. “I don't think so.” 
“That's….” He half panted, watching your hand do its job, his own hands still against the wall like they were taped to it. “Getting a headstart is cheating.” 
“You're slow.” 
“I'm savouring.” He smiled, leaning closer. “I'm in good hands and I know you're soaked. It's only a matter of time before you're begging.” 
You chuckled softly as though you were amused by his assumption but true to his words, your walls were already fluttering, clenching around nothing as your legs squeezed together. Jihoon, like the master of reading your body that he was, put his hand right in between, cupping you over your underwear, the pressure of his palm on your clit ever so light. From the soft sigh that left your mouth you both knew you were faring far worse than he was - truly, it was brave on your part to challenge him.
“Jihoon….” 
He hums in response as the pace of your hand falters.
“Touch me.” 
“I am sweetheart.” 
“More.” You wrapped your free hand around his wrist, breath shaking and Jihoon allowed you to lead him exactly where you wanted him - past the hem of your panties, right where the wetness was pooling between your legs. 
“Good fucking god…” He swore like he didn't expect you to be this drenched. What a funny guy. What did he think was gonna happen when he was this undeniably hot? 
You on the other hand expected him to be a tease, to draw this out, to make you beg. But to your complete surprise, he wasted no time in sliding two thick digits in, making you squeeze his length at the sheer stretch of the intrusion. 
“Sweetheart, you're gonna kill me.” He muttered, shutting his eyes tight. 
You wanted to apologise, you really did but whatever words were leaving your mouth didn't seem to be making any sense. Not when Jihoon was picking up the pace, taking turns pumping, curling and scissoring his fingers inside you. You felt your back arch on its own, head thrown back as an unholy moan left your being. Fuck he was right, you cannot possibly think of anything else now - this man was capable of turning you into a complete wreck before you could even get a moan out of him. 
“Your bruises have nearly disappeared.” He noticed with your neck bared to him once again. “It was prettier marked.”
“Mark it then.” You panted, composing yourself, getting back to stroking him again. “Do whatever you want.” 
And that's enough to break his resolve, as you felt his fingers slowing down while his teeth ran across the skin of your shoulder. Taking advantage of his momentary fixation, you ran your thumb across his slit, feeling the precum spill onto your fingers. Jihoon groaned, his mouth getting more aggressive on your neck as you gripped his bicep again, sinking your nails into it. 
Fuck, there it was. 
That tightening in the pits of your being, there it was, slowly climbing as you felt your legs starting to shake and Jihoon smirking against your skin, reading all the signs like he knew your body inside out. Thank god he could because just when you needed it, he slid in another finger and curled them up, reaching that sweet spot that had you instantly snapping, falling apart.  
He stilled his movements as you convulsed around his fingers, holding onto him tight but before you could even come down from your high, he started moving again.
“Ji… Jihoon.” You whimpered, chest heaving. “Fuck fuck fuck.” 
And before you know it your barely ebbed orgasm blended into a second one and you were practically gushing out into his hand.
“Damn sweetheart.” He smiled at you like he was a little too pleased with himself. “You're an easy one.” 
Excuse me? 
You could barely get a hold of yourself but that wasn't the most pressing matter - how dare he dismiss you so easily? 
Given your mouth was dry you swallowed on nothing, and shoved him back with just a small  push. Jihoon looked at you confused initially, then his eyes widened as you dropped to your knees and he realised what you were up to. But just as your hand reached the waistband of his bottoms and he pushed the hair off your face, more than ready to fuck your mouth, a loud sound rang through the silence of the afternoon. 
“Shit.” Jihoon muttered pulling you up. “That's code purple.”
You groaned. “Why are there so many fucking colours?” 
Frowning, he threw you your clothes before leading you to a small basin to wash your hands and his. “We need to go. It’s an emergency team meeting.” 
As he scurried around grabbing his things, his bow and arrows to be specific, you dressed yourself once again, watching him. Guess neither of your predictions were coming true after all. 
Noticing you were still lost in your thoughts, Jihoon sighed and grabbed you by the hand, leading you out of his house and to the dining hall of the common cabin where apparently all team meetings were held.
When the two of you had reached, thankfully only Soonyoung and Seungkwan were there and though their expressions were full of questions, they asked none. Before you knew it, everyone had gathered and whispers going around as they settled in their seats but the moment Seungcheol raised his hand, they died down.
“What's the matter?” 
Seungkwan nodded at Soonyoung who stood up, looking around. 
“Kwan and I sent some messages out today asking about the geese attack last night.” He shook his head slowly. “It seems no camp is responsible for it.” 
Minghao spun the blade in his hand with a frown. “So it wasn't a prank or an act of retribution?” 
Seungkwan shook his head. “Considering how we all thought their nature was odd, Hansol connected us to some Hunters of Artemis.” He laid out a map with four red crosses. “They gave us four locations where birds like this were sighted.” 
“So this was just like any other animal attack?” Seokmin leaned back, looking relieved. 
“I'm afraid not. It may or may not be a coincidence but the Hunters also claim that all four locations have been frequently exhibiting very high energy signals, signals that might belong to…” Seungkwan gulped. “The Chimaera.”
A strange silence descended upon the room as glances were exchanged. You looked at Jihoon questioningly but he looked troubled. 
“The fire breather.” Chan let out a low whistle. “It hasn't been heard of in centuries.”
“It seems to be on the move off late.” Hansol tucked the arrows he was polishing into his quiver. “It's hunting.” 
“And I think the geese are its agents.” Soonyoung pointed out. “Geese have always been symbols of vigilance and surveillance. Whatever the Chimaera is hunting, I think it's using the birds to trace it. That's why neither Jun nor Hansol could understand them, because they aren't wild or domestic - they're monsters.” 
“Chan,.” Seungcheol straightened himself. “Alert Olympus, tell them we need troops-” 
“It seems Olympus assigned the hunt to Artemis, ” Seungkwan added. “And you know how the Hunters function. Their goal is to capture the beast, not kill it so they have been taking their time to strategize.” 
“Well we can't wait for them to figure things out.” Jeonghan stared at the map on the table, a hundred things running in his mind. “We're going to have to hunt the monster on our own.” 
“Us?” Minghao looked around. “Do you even understand how powerful the creature is-” 
“Should we just sit back and wait for it to attack the camp then?” Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “Because whatever it's looking for is here and monsters aren't patient creatures.”
“I know, but-” 
“Minghao.” Seungcheol interrupted, warning. “Jeonghan is our strategist, we'll let him decide what's best.” 
Minghao nodded begrudgingly as Jeonghan pulled the paper towards himself, Soonyoung handing him a pen. 
“We'll split according to our assigned partners.” He began drawing out lines and scribbling names. “Seungkwan and Soonyoung, you two head to the demigod union in the city and alert them, in case we need back up. Minghao and Jun, I want you both here for camp protection, Mingyu and Wonwoo as well…” He looked thoughtful. “If the Chimaera decides to attack the camp in our absence, Cerberus is the only chance we have against it.” 
As all four boys nodded, Jeonghan turned to the rest. 
“The remaining of us will go to the four locations. Everyone will use an energy reader and find the location of the Chimaera. Once you’ve narrowed down its location, alert the team to gather for a hunt. Any foolishness such as going after the monster on your own will not lead to punishment because you'll already be dead.” He glanced around. “Is that understood?”
Mummers of agreement echoed in the room. 
“Jihoon and Hansol, you two head to the one in the south, that's the biggest area but your hounds should help cover it. Joshua and I will head east, Chan and Seokmin will head west and Seungcheol…..” His eyes landed on the leader who was very evidently shaking his head. “Seungcheol and Y/n, you two will head north.” 
You looked at Jeonghan in disbelief. 
“Han,” Seungcheol spoke before you could say anything. “I don't need a partner, I've always been a lone hunter-” 
“That was because we were an odd number of members. But now there's 14 of us so Y/n will go with you-” 
“It's a dangerous mission and she's untrained.” Seungcheol spoke between gritted teeth. “She will be better off in camp-”
“She will be safer with our strongest warrior.” Jeonghan argued back. “You cannot always be team leader Cheol, learn to be a team player. Y/n will accompany you.”
“No I won’t.” You shook your head. “I have no interest in being where I am not wanted.” 
“Y/n, it's not a choice.” Jeonghan sounded tired. “I'm the strategist and this is an order-” 
“I don't care.” You got up, firm about your decision. “I'm not going anywhere with this man.” 
And with that you stormed away from there, ignoring the faint voice of Jeonghan who sighed and continued giving instructions. 
“We leave tomorrow at daybreak.” 
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You stared at the schedule in your hand wondering why on Earth you hadn't looked at it before you stepped into the classroom. Admittedly all your time went in washing up, changing your clothes, grabbing lunch and rushing for your afternoon lesson, but you should have noticed what was in store for today. 
Friday - Quest Strategy (Choi Seungcheol, Yoon Jeonghan)
And you didn't want to see either of them right now. 
But before you could grab your things and leave the room to make it seem like you were never here in the first place, Jeonghan arrived, standing against the door, watching you pack up. 
“You need to stop running away from everything.” 
As he walked in, you looked up, rolling your eyes. “And you need to stop interfering in my life.” 
“My decisions as strategist aren't personal Y/n, I do what's beneficial for the camp and its members.” He leaned against the board. "Accommodating your individual preference is not a part of my job profile.”
“Okay, that's great, then be prepared for only one of us to come back alive tomorrow.” 
Jeonghan rolled his eyes at your dramatic statement. “What happened between the two of you?” 
You scoffed at him. As if you were going to tell him. 
“Seungcheol has been my comrade since we were teenagers, I know him better than anyone and I know for a fact that he's not the villain you're making him to be.”
“Oh he's not?” You crossed your arms. “Okay then explain why when I was throwing myself onto him for days, he kept avoiding me but the moment I walked away from him, he came chasing? And did the man at least go through with that? No, he decided to leave me hanging yet again and then he behaved like everything that's happening is my fault?” You threw your hands in the air. “No apology, no explanation, he just continued to avoid me and when I finally got him out of my mind, then he decided he wanted to talk to me? I didn't want to, but he couldn't even respect my space and ended up coming to the party and….” 
“And?” Jeonghan looked curiously. 
“And I think he knows that I slept with Soonyoung….” You didn't meet Jeonghan’s eyes. “and Minghao.” 
Jeonghan hummed, nodding his head, taking in all the information, as you added quickly. 
“But it was only because all of us were under the influence of aphrodisiacs-” 
“That's irrelevant.” Jeonghan waved his hand. “Who you choose to be with and what you choose to do is entirely your choice. But you think Seungcheol is mad about that?” 
“I'm not sure. I have a feeling he is.”
“That's not right.” 
“Now you see my point?”
“I didn’t say he wasn't stupid.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “But I still stand by the fact that he's not a bad person.” 
“Okay mate, you need to get your head out of your bestie's ass.” 
Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head. You expected him to say something snarky but his expression slowly turned serious. 
“Do you know why you're in Camp Seventeen Y/n?”
“Because I'm a demigod?” That was perhaps the first time you had said that out loud. 
“Yes but why this camp?”
“The Oracle assigned me.”
“Partly.” Jeonghan nodded. “The Oracle of Delphi only assigns demigods to camps that are willing to take them. Seungcheol was the only leader willing to take you.” 
Your lips parted in surprise as Jeonghan continued. 
“Do you know what was supposed to happen the night you were kidnapped and brought to the court?” 
You shook your head. 
“You were going to be attacked.” Jeonghan let out a deep breath. “The sudden activation of your aura after years of dormancy seemed to have drawn in a lot of attention. Days after your little incident, Olympus sent out a report that the levels of monster activity in the city were unprecedentedly high. They said there was a large influx of monsters and we had to be alert but I don't think so. Especially not after what we learnt today.” 
“What do you mean?”
“It's not monsters but one monster that came to the city.” Jeonghan looked at you keenly. “I think it was the Chimaera and I think you are what it's hunting.”
The things in your hand slipped and hit the floor with a thud. You? 
“You mean… I'm the threat in this camp?”
“You're the one in danger.” He corrected. “But yes you are the threat and more importantly, Cheol knows that. He always knew that. It was evident from the start that you were a monster magnet, that you are some kind of anomaly and that making you a part of our camp would only mean more danger but he said it didn't matter. He said as long as someone needed to be saved, he would do it. He said he would be your protector and that's why you're here Y/n - because Cheol made the choice to safeguard you.”
You blinked at a loss of words. 
“Even yesterday, when the geese attacked and we didn't know what was happening at the party, his first instinct was to check if you were okay. That's why he came to the rager. That’s also why he's been so frustrated, why he doesn't want you to accompany him tomorrow. Your safety is his first priority.” 
Letting out a deep breath, you ran your hand through your hair, internally beating yourself up. You had no idea. 
“Will Seungcheol be coming for the lesson today?”
Jeonghan shook his head. “I don't think so, he's busy at Mingyu’s workshop, preparing for tomorrow, like you should be doing too.” 
“I can't possibly learn anything by tonight that'll help me tomorrow.” 
“Yes you can.” Jeonghan walked up to you. “We can try and understand why the Chimaera is after you. We can discuss your lawsuit considering it was the root cause of everything and see if it gives us any answers. Let me just call Wonwoo and-”
“Absolutely not.” You quickly grabbed all your things again. Wonwoo was still on the list of people you didn't want to meet. “I need to find Cheol first.”
And with that you swung your bag over your shoulder, rushing out of the classroom, leaving a sighing Jeonghan behind. 
When you reached Mingyu’s residence, Seungcheol was indeed in the workshop along with a couple of camp members, inspecting the weapons for tomorrow. Immersed in their discussion they didn't notice your presence until you stepped in and Cerberus let out a low growl, his eyes following you. 
“Y/n.” Mingyu jogged up to you, looking concerned. “What are you doing here?” 
“I…” You gulped looking at Seungcheol’s back. “I was hoping to talk to Cheol real quick.” 
“We're in the middle of a meeting, I'm not sure…” 
“Please Mingyu, it'll be quick.” 
“I can ask him but-”
“Gyu.” Seungcheol looked over his shoulder. “What's the matter?”
“Y/n is here,” Mingyu raised his voice. “She wants to talk to you.”
As lightning ripped across the sky, Seungcheol let out a deep breath “Send her away.” 
And for the nth time you could hear your heart breaking because of Seungcheol.
 “Seungcheol I just want to apolo-”
“I don't want to hear it.” He turned to you, voice hard and gaze unforgiving. “Please leave.” 
Mingyu looked at you apologetically as did the other members, Jihoon included. Taking a step back and then another you walked out, the low grumbles of the thunder not louder than the thumping of your heart. 
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Sometimes you really had to remind yourself that Natalie was in fact a pig and not a dog. 
You tended to forget given how much she liked to be taken on walks and sniff everything around. Today she took you from Seungcheol’s house to Mingyu’s to Seungkwan’s to the common cabin and finally to the temple where she found a spot of wet mud and decided to roll in it. That was until she spotted Wonwoo walking by, perhaps heading to secure the camp's borders for the night, given it was nearly dusk. You looked away from him but your pet decided to jump up and follow him like she always loved to do.
Sighing, you walked over to the area designated for campfire and sat on one of the logs, picking on the chips of wood nonchalantly. When the cold wind of the evening caressed your skin, sending shivers down your spine, you looked around, making sure no one was watching you. Realising you were all alone you waved your hand, watching the flames dance on your palm before they floated over to the wood in the middle, lighting the campfire. You stared at the orange flames, Jeonghan's words ringing in your head again - I think you're what it's hunting. 
It couldn't be a coincidence. A powerful monster, a fire breather that had been quiet for centuries, wanting to find you of all people. That couldn't be a coincidence. Was it possible the Chimaera knew something about you? Did it know why you were such a freak? 
And why did Seungcheol choose to protect someone like you? Why won't the man just let you hate him peacefully? He just had to be so righteous and brave and good…. But if he cared about you so much, why did he always pull away? Why did he never reciprocate?
It seemed like life only liked to throw questions at you, never any answers. You were too tired for all this. You just wanted to stop thinking. You just wanted this day to end and let yourself be taken away by sleep so you could forget all this. You just wanted some peace. 
As though the universe hated you, at that exact time, Jihoon walked out of the temple, hands shoved in his pockets, mind clearly elsewhere. You were thankful he hadn't noticed your presence and had almost left the premises busy in his own world until he suddenly stopped at the edge of the trees, turning back to see you. 
As your eyes locked his, he sighed walking back to you, sitting just over a foot away. He didn't say anything and you didn’t know what to say. 
“You're nervous.” He pointed out. “Your heart is racing.” 
You shook your head exasperated. “Do people tell you how annoying it is to be around you?”
“Not quite.” He chuckled. “I don't like being around people.”
“Why am I the exception?” 
“You came looking for me.” 
“You literally just came and sat next to me.”
“I meant earlier.” 
“I'm talking about now.” 
“I just…” He sighed, turning to you. “I just wanted to say, don’t take whatever Seungcheol says to heart. He has too many pressures on him as leader, especially in situations like this-” 
“You know, that excuse is getting very overused. Is his consistent dismissal of me justified just because he's a busy, important man?” 
“It's not.” Jihoon shook his head. “But I thought you should know - his heart was racing just as fast when you came to talk to him. It always is around you.”
You scoffed, tired of people telling you the same thing. 
“All that tachycardia could be pathological. He should get himself checked-” 
“There's clearly something he's unable to tell you, some reason for why he is the way he is.” Jihoon justified. “Give him a chance to explain himself.” 
“I have to give him a chance?” You looked at him incredulously. “Did you not see how he sent me away?”
“Yes I did, it was the same way you ran away to a party when he wanted to talk.” Jihoon rolled his eyes. “If you both just keep being idiots like this, things are never going to get better.” 
“Honestly things don’t have to.” You tugged on the sleeves of your shirt. “It's not like we are star crossed lovers or something. This infatuation or crush or whatever it is, it will eventually die down. All I hope is for us to at least be courteous with each other but he can't even seem to do that.” 
Jihoon stared at the ground. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” 
That was a question you didn't have an answer to. So you ignored it. 
“I just want us to be pleasant over tomorrow's hunt, that's all. But something tells me things might just get a whole lot worse.” 
“Are you making predictions again?” Jihoon chuckled. “Have you still not learnt that you're horrible at it?”
“Hey, that's not fair.” You laughed along. “Besides, the day is not over yet.” 
“Oh you still think you stand a chance with me?” 
You narrowed your eyes at his laughing self. “I didn't say it had to be you. But you said you could make me cum thrice - I only came once.”
“Twice.” 
“Once.” 
“You're forgetting that I can read your body.” He cocked his head at you. “Twice.” 
“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Still less than three.” 
“You and I both know if I wasn't interrupted I could've done it.” 
“Not true.” You shook your head. “If I blew you, you didn't stand a chance.” 
“How ever will we know which of us is right?” 
He looked at you, something darker swirling behind his eyes and it made your insides twist. There was a way to find out and given how empty you had been feeling since earlier, maybe you would have, if only Seungwkan didn't walk over, settling down on the log across yours. Although Jihoon and you were already sitting apart, the two of you moved further away. 
“Natalie is sleeping in Jun's barn apparently.” Seungkwan informed. “Wonwoo has too much to do today - There won't be a shift handover tomorrow since Hansol and Jihoon will be heading for the hunt.” 
You nodded, not really understanding because you didn't really bother to actually. Your mind was entirely elsewhere, wondering about other possibilities. 
“We uh should probably sleep early since, you know,-” You got up swinging your arms. “-big day tomorrow.” 
“Yeah.” Jihoon followed your suit, slowly standing. “Better get good rest.” 
Seungwkan nodded, glancing at Hansol who was walking over, “You two go ahead, the two of us need to have a little chat.” 
You nodded as the man in question sat beside Seungwkan, poking the fire with a stick, avoiding your eyes as usual. Unbothered, you turned to Jihoon, catching him already looking at you.
“Jihoon can I-” 
“Y/n do you-”
Both of you looked at each other, gulping. 
“I uh…” You tried yet again to feign casualness. “I wanted to ask for the ointment you gave me earlier, for bruises. I… have many mosquito bites.” 
“Right.” He scratched his head. “I was going to offer you the same.” 
“Oh good.” 
“Yeah good.” 
Seungkwan’s eyes flickered between the two of you but it was only when Hansol looked up that you realised just how suspicious this must seem. Waving an uncharacteristic bye, you quickly left, Jihoon following at a considerable distance as you made your way to his residence. 
The events of earlier today repeated in a similar fashion - Jihoon plucked a few herbs and walked into his house. You followed him, straight into his pantry this time considering neither of you needed a change of clothes. He proceeded to grind up the greens in a paste as you leaned against the door, watching the strong muscles of his back. Fuck you’d love to run your nails down that. 
“What are we doing Y/n?” Finally stopping whatever he was doing, Jihoon gripped the edges of the counter, his expression unseen. 
“I don’t know what you are doing.” You shrugged. “I am just here to prove I was right.” 
Chuckling, Jihoon turned to you. When he saw you slowly unbuttoning the shirt you had donned, his eyes darkened. “Straight down then left.” He turned back to whatever he was doing. “Wait in my room.” 
Pulling your shirt off your shoulders you threw it at him, letting out a giggle and walking away. 
“I don’t like to wait!” You announced, following his instructions. Almost. 
On the way your eyes fell on the music room you had seen earlier, legs instinctively taking a detour. There were all kinds of instruments in there - banjos on the wall, guitars lined up beside the drum set. There was a large grand piano too and a huge computer with all kinds of equipment around. It was impressive to say the least. 
“I said left, not right.” Jihoon walked in, one hand shoved in his pocket, another holding on to a strange, black drink.
“You have a recording studio here.” 
“I would say you're observative but it's pretty obvious so that would be an overstatement.” 
“How do you power these?” You turned to him. “Without electricity?”
“Well you’re analytical, I’ll give you that.” He let out a small laugh before he explained. “I’m the Sun’s progeny - a little solar energy goes a long way.” 
“So all of these work?” You looked around surprised. “Can I listen to something you’ve made?” 
“I don’t think we’re close enough for that.” 
You rolled your eyes. “But we’re close enough for you to have your fingers in me?” 
“You asked for it.” He shrugged. “And I’m a giver.” 
Laughing, you ran your fingers across the piano. “Can you at least play something for me?” 
Jihoon looked at you for a solid minute before he let out a resigned breath. Setting the drink down on the counter, he grabbed a saxophone from the wall and aligned it with his mouth. You leaned against the piano, urging him to continue with the tilt of the head. 
As the sultry sound of his melody rang through the room, you found yourself swaying to it - it was a good piece, a sexy one that definitely worked to set the mood. But you had ways you could do that on your own too. 
Nearing him, each step matching the rhythm of the music, you ran your hand along his groin, feeling his erection already waiting for you. Smirking to yourself you got on your knees before him, hands working on his waistband and surprisingly, you heard him mess up a note. 
“Uh oh.” You tutted, looking up at him. “No mistakes, no fumbling or I’ll stop.” 
Jihoon tensed under your touch, continuing to play his piece, facing turning red but the melody not stopping. Unzipping his pants, you just about leaned in to give the bulge in his underwear a butterfly of a kiss when you felt a chill run down your body. Something was wrong. 
As though you’d lost all sense of autonomy, you could feel yourself moving back, sitting on your heels, your hands proceeding to unclasp your bra instead. Sliding it down your arms and throwing it away, you got up and shimmied out of your shorts and underwear in one go. You gulped as Jihoon watched you sit on the black couch across him, breaths shallow and fast, chest heaving because this wasn’t you - you somehow had no control over your body. You didn’t mean to pull your legs up and spread them open or run your fingers along your slit, or slide them into your wet hole as though you were putting on a show for him. Yes you felt good but none of this was you. 
Jihoon watched with hooded eyes as you pumped your fingers in and out, free hand moving up to squeeze a boob. Everything moved to its own accord, working you up with a vigor you would have never used on yourself, the sound of the wetness and your moans almost drowning out the song. Your back arched as you felt everything tense, but your eyes did not leave Jihoon’s who finally could not take it anymore, setting the sax aside, leaning over you. 
His own fingers found your clit, rubbing onto it in a way that unmistakably tightened the coil in you. Whimpers left your mouth and though it felt like you were in control of yourself again, you couldn’t stop. Not now, not when you were feeling so good, not when you were so close…. Not until Jihoon whispered. 
“Come on sweetheart, cum for me.”
And you did, around your own fingers, eyes seeing white as he continued to tease your clit, a groan rumbling across his chest. 
“Wha…” You panted, slowly coming down from your high, arousal leaking out of you. “What the hell just happened?” 
“That-” Jihoon smirked, straightening himself. “-was my prediction coming true.” 
“But why could I… why could I not…” 
“Control yourself?” 
You nodded.
“Because the song you just heard is what we call Apollo’s Anthem.” He cocked his head at you victoriously. “If mastered, the one who plays it can make anyone dance to their tunes, like you just did.” 
“That….” Your eyes widen with realization. “That was you? Making me do all that?”
He nodded. 
“Now that's cheating.�� You huffed, pulling your legs together, pressing them. “I demand a rematch. We're gonna have to redo-” 
“Next time.” He fisted the material at the back of his neck and pulled his shirt over this head. “Right now there's another prediction we need to work on.”
You furrowed your eyebrows as Jihoon stripped out of his pants, baring himself completely given he had gone commando underneath. 
“For fucks sake, I've been hard since the afternoon and there's nothing I can think other than cumming inside you.”
A triumphant smirk danced across your lips as you leaned back, watching his callously stroke his length. 
“You know, I had my fill with three orgasms today and I'm quite exhausted. I see no reason I have to indulge.” 
Jihoon blinked at you. “Didn't you want to be proven right?” 
“Nope.” You shook your head. “My math teacher always used to say, the truth never needs to be proven, it always reveals itself. He was a hot man, now that I'm thinking about him, very irresistible.” 
“Can we please not talk about your hot math teacher while I'm jerking off?” Jihoon groaned. “Now I'm thinking of my math teacher and he was a gnome of a man.” 
You laughed, watching as he picked up the pace, desperate to finish himself. 
“Is your right hand satisfying enough?” 
“No but I'll have to settle for imagining it's you.” He whimpered. “Albeit it's not even close to how tight you were.” 
You hummed, suddenly feeling both pity for him and curiosity as to just how much a dick as thick as that could stretch you out. “Do you still want to fuck me?” 
“Why is that still a question?” 
“I'll allow it.” Spreading your legs again, you ran your fingers along the folds again, this time wantonly, smearing the remnants of your previous orgasm all over. “But only because you've to hunt tomorrow and I don't want you to be distracted, thinking about dicking me down-.” 
“Stop talking and move over.” He muttered and finally you listened, shifting to the side as he sat beside you. Wasting no time, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into his lap, his dick grazing against your clit, sending a jolt down your body. As you held his shoulders, he pumped himself a few times before aligning the tip right at your hole, dragging it along the wetness agonisingly slowly. 
“Jihoon for god's sake, just put it in.” 
“Say you want me to fuck you.” 
“You want me to fuck you.” 
Your bratty-ness was met with a painful spank on the ass. 
“Say it.” He rubbed the area softly, before spreading the cheeks, the head of his dick ever so slightly entering you. “Say you want this as much as me.” 
You tried to chase that feeling, sink further down his length, but his grip was strong and unnerving. 
“Fuck Jihoon please.” You whined as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, sucking it. “Let's just do this already.”
“Can’t hear you.” 
“Jihoon…” You begged as he pulled out, leaving you clenching around nothing. 
“Walls are soundproof sweetheart.” He reached up, nuzzling your neck. “Let me hear you.” 
“For fucks sake, fuck me already Jihoon!” You babbled, desperate to not lose the feeling of him sliding into you again. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me-” 
“Ride me.” He whispered, pushing you down on his cock, the sheer thickness of it nearly splitting you open. “God you're so tight.” 
“And you're so big.” You moaned, as you bottomed out on him, feeling every inch of his thickness against your fluttering walls. 
Jihoon allowed you to adjust to his length, mouth working on marking your breasts instead but when you began involuntary squeezing him he pulled away, biting his lip like he couldn’t take it anymore. 
“Y/n....” He mumbled, fingers gripping your waist tighter. “Move.” 
And you did, like your life depended on it, knees digging into the couch taking support. With his hands sliding down to your ass again, he helped too, bouncing you on him with a pace you could not have managed on your own. You threaded your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, head thrown back, guttural moans leaving you. Jihoon seemed to enjoy all of it, the way you sounded, the way you felt around him, the way you gripped his hair as your core began to tighten threateningly. You could tell from the way he chose to hold you in place instead, thrusting himself up into you and your arousal dripping down his length filthily that you were close but he was far from ready for this to be over. 
Oh this was going to be a long night. 
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“Y/n wake up.” It was the soft shaking that drew you out of your sleep. “It’s nearly dawn.”
Jihoon’s face hovered over yours, looking tense. You stretched awake, blinking your eyes open, looking around - you were still in his music room, lying on his couch. You must’ve slept here last night, you didn’t even realise when you went into a deep slumber. From all the bedding on the floor you figured Jihoon crashed in here with you despite having a room of his own in his own house. Slightly thankful that he was gracious enough to not leave you alone, you sat up, pulling your hair into a bun. 
“The boys are done washing up if you wish to hit the showers.” He gathered the remaining of your clothes on the floor, which was really just your bra and handed it to you. “You should also eat something. We skipped dinner last night.” 
Of course you did. 
You’d never had sex this intense before last night. You vaguely remembered cumming nearly three more times - once while you were riding him, right before he emptied his load right into you and two more before he pulled you off him and had you on your knees on the couch, your ass and his cum dripping out of you on display for him as he fucked you and filled you one more time. After that, right before you faded into a deep sleep, you also recalled him cleaning you, handing you that black drink from earlier and helping you get dressed - eating was not even on your agenda before you passed out. 
But now admittedly, you were hungry and also in desperate need for a shower so you swung your legs off the couch and got to your feet. Taking a step was particularly difficult though, given how sore you were. 
“Here.” Jihoon handed you a glass of the same potion. “It’ll help with the pain.” 
Muttering a small thanks, you downed the bitter juice in one gulp. As you returned the glass he handed you a small box of a very familiar green ointment, looking pointedly at your neck. Apparently he had given you his own set of the very bruises he had healed yesterday. Scoffing, you took it from him, walking away, towards the main door. 
“Are you okay?” He asked from behind as you nodded, looking over your shoulder.
“Thank you Jihoon, for everything.” and with that you shut the door, stepping out into the darkness before dawn, taking a deep breath. 
Something about Jihoon’s expression told you he was expecting you to say something more but you didn’t have anything else to say. He was a distraction, you were successfully distracted and now you were back to your reality and the real world. Now it was time to face Seungcheol again. 
Realising the sun would be out in a while, you quickly headed for a shower keeping your head down not to meet the eyes of the boys busy loading the cars at the edge of the camp. As you walked into the bathhouse you wondered if you would meet your regular bypasser at this time of the day too and brushed off the possibility but to your complete surprise, Wonwoo, fully dressed for a change, was right there, leaning against the lockers as though he was waiting for you. 
“You're on time.”
“And I don't have the time for you.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing your towel, heading towards the showers.
“Careful Y/n.” Wonwoo called out from behind you, his voice a lot less nonchalant than it normally was. “The Chimaera is no small monster. It's dangerous, manipulative and feeds on chaos.”
You glanced at him over your shoulder as he continued.
“If things take a turn and you're forced to face it, do whatever it takes to fight it. Don't think, don't analyse, just do it.” 
Frowning, you turned to him, wondering why he was suddenly saying all this but without explaining himself any further, Wonwoo straightened himself and simply left from there. 
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By the time you had arrived at the dining hall, right around the time the sun had begun to peak from behind the mountains, all the boys had gathered around the table, dressed in armours and gear. Jeonghan was leading the meeting again, walking around handing something that looked a lot like a golden medallion. 
“Keep your energy readers close to you at all times - the Chimaera is a very intelligent monster but it's not very fast, so in a critical situation, early detection may be what saves your lives.” Noticing your presence, he walked up to you, holding the medallion out. “This is an energy reader. The way demigods have auras, monsters do too and this little handy thing can pick up on it. The closer you are to a creature, the warmer it gets so pay attention. If the medallion manages to pick the right frequency, it will morph into an image of the monster so you'll know exactly what it is. Understood?”
You nodded. 
“Turn.” 
And you did, as he pushed your hair onto a shoulder and secured the chain at the nape of your neck. You ran your fingers across the golden indentation of the surface curiously - it was kind of heavy. 
“Your armour is in Cheol's car.” Mingyu piqued from his seat. “So are the flares and your looking glass.”
You turned to Jeonghan who understood the confusion etched on your face. 
“You are, at no point, allowed to abandon your partner but on the off chance that you are separated, send a flare and it will help him identify your location and a looking glass-” He pulled out a small pane of glass from his pocket. “-is how you can communicate with the members. Just say the name of whoever you want to talk to and they'll appear on it.” 
Finally understanding you nodded, as Jeonghan handed you one last thing - a folded paper. 
“This is a copy of the map. Seungcheol will be driving so be sure to guide him properly.” 
You looked over his shoulder at the leader who seemed tense. 
“Whatever is going on between you two, please just keep aside for one day.” Jeonghan looked at you pointedly and sighing, you nodded. You would be courteous with him, you could do that much. 
As the boys began shuffling around, getting to their feet and leaving the hall, a hand on your arm stopped you from following. 
“Breakfast.” Jun held out with a small box that looked like it was filled to the brim. “Eat on the way. You'll need your energy.” 
Muttering a grateful thanks, you took it from him, glancing at Minghao who was standing beside him, arms crossed. 
“I know you're not fully trained but every demigod should have a weapon on them when they're out in the real world.” Your trainer put a pair of daggers in your hand. “Twin blades. I think they'll suit you.” 
You turned the sheathed weapons in your hand, liking how light they felt. Minghao seemed proud of how comfortable you were. 
“Stay safe doll.” 
He called out as you left, a new unknown fear coursing through you as everything got more and more real. 
By the time you reached the gates, everyone else had already taken off, leaving only Seungcheol leaning against his G wagon, waiting for you. The things Mingyu mentioned were in the passenger seat, neatly folded when you opened the door. As you tried to quickly slip them all on, Seungcheol waited, not offering to help, not even looking, just staring out at the woods. When you finally clambered in, he got in too, turning on the engine and taking off swiftly. You stared at the map on your lap - fuck, it was a long ride. 
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In the 2 hours that the two of you had been driving, the sun had fully risen, you had finished your breakfast and not one word that was irrelevant to the route had been exchanged. You stared out of the window, watching the trees whizz by - you had crossed much of the town houses in the outskirts and the road was getting narrower and lonelier now. It made sense why a monster would hide out here. 
“How much further?” Seungcheol asked, fingers drumming the wheel. 
“Until we reach the big olive tree.” You peered at the map trying to understand the images instead given you couldn't read Greek. “There we turn left.” 
Seungcheol hummed, then silence descended once again. 
It was a miracle you went through so much time without saying anything to the man beside you. Considering it was just the two of you and neither of you could run, it was the perfect time to talk about everything going on but you found yourself complying with Jeonghan’s instructions and keeping quiet. Perhaps because you had too much on your mind. 
As nonchalant as you tried to seem, the Chimaera terrified you. It wasn't because it was apparently a big scary monster but because it was seeking you. You were no idiot - you knew that if a creature that powerful wanted to kill you, it could have at many instances when you were being particularly reckless. This one definitely wanted something else from you and the thought of that was more terrifying. What could a monster possibly need from you? 
You didn't know. And maybe like most things in your life you wouldn't get to know. Like you didn't get to meet Hestia, or didn't understand why your powers were so different, or didn't know how to cope with the fact that you could never be a mother. It was perhaps just another thing to add to this never ending list. 
“Y/n.” Seungcheol's hand on your arm pulled you out of your thoughts. “How many times do I have to ask? Is that the tree?” 
You glanced at it and then back at the map and nodded. “Yeah, sorry, that's the one.” 
Shifting gears Seungcheol slowed down, turning left like you told him to but to both of your surprise, the road ahead led straight into a forest that was submerged in darkness despite it being so early in the day. Confused, Seungcheol turned on the headlights as he drove ahead but the moment the car moved ahead, the lights turned off. 
Frowning, he tried again, only to receive the same result - the lights kept turning off. 
Annoyed, he stopped the vehicle, grabbing a rather large lighter from the dashboard and stepped out, opening up the hood. Unbuckling your belt, you followed him. 
“Sit inside Y/n.”
“How are you supposed to hold the lighter and fix this thing?” You grabbed the light from him and held it over the engine. “Is there a problem?”
Seungcheol peered at the machinery, frowning. “I don't think so. I don't know why…..” He trailed off like a realisation hit him. “Did you say the tree we crossed was an olive tree?”
“I think it was?” You held out the map for Seungcheol to see. “I can't read Greek.”
“That’s not an olive tree and this isn't any ordinary forest….” He turned to you, both your faces illuminated by the faint light of the fire. “This is the Forest of Nyx, the Goddess of the Night.” 
“Is that why the lights won't work?” You whispered, feeling a chill run down your body. “Is that why it's so dark?” 
“It's always night at her realm. No light, no Gods, no eyes are allowed here.” He gulped as though he suddenly realised the proximity between the two of you. “No one can see us here.” 
You frowned not understanding what he meant when he shut the hood, the headlights surprisingly flaring up again. Before you could even process what was going on, he pulled you up against him, the lighter dropping from your hands due to the sheer force as your body pressed against his. 
“Cheol-”
“No one can see us Y/n.” He whispered, eyes drifting to your lips. “No one.” 
And in a flash, his mouth was on yours - hot, wanting and desperate. 
You gripped his arms, taken aback by the suddenness but when he pulled you closer like he didn't even want air between the two of you, you ran your hands up his chest and neck, threading them into his thick hair. Taking that as a sign of approval, he moved his hands down, briefly squeezing your ass before catching hold of your thighs and lifting you with unsurprising ease, wrapping your legs around his waist. You moaned when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, his hands annoyed by all the armour as though they wanted to rip it out. 
It was only when you felt breathless and pulled back that he finally let you go. Looking up at you equally breathless, eyes almost pleading, the words that you'd been dying to hear left his mouth at last. 
“Fuck I've wanted this for so long.” He groaned. “I wanted you for so long Y/n, please….” 
You gulped, stiffening when you understood what he was begging for.
Choi Seungcheol wanted to fuck you.
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A/n - aaaaand scene hehe
If you've managed to make it till the end, congratulations, this was a long one, I'm sorry buttttt Cheol enthusiasts (aka everyone) y'all are in for a ride next chapter hehe, stay tuned!
And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3
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officialmiintee · 8 months ago
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happy asl bros to heal the heart
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naggingatlas · 1 month ago
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'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#sa mention#dont go after this person but i hooooope they rethink. their view of the story.#but god im gonna squeeze lemons in my eyes soon#taking this game away from yall until you unlearn misogyny#ooooh curlys just sooo sweet poor thaaang oh my oh my youre looking sooo far into thissss haaahaaa#its all just a misunderstanding!!!! anya didnt speak clearly enough!!!! noooo its not on my beautiful blue eyed rascal hahaaa#ok look curlys an insane character i love analyzing him and i VERY MUCH dont want people to think im like villanizing the guy#the entire point is that otherwise pretty chill people can fuck up OF THEIR OWN FAULT AND BIAS and then learn. painfully. what not to do.#and by chill i also dont mean holy water pure ok. distinctions.#and id really hate people taking either side of the argument on curlys morality. esp considering his appearance (for both.)#just don't. fucking make baby ass black and white arguments#this game should be behind a childproof lock in the shape of a reading comprehension test abt crime and punishment#im super supportive of people trying to think outside the norm about art like mouthwashing and explaining their own musings#and talking with others and trying to understand how to argument their thoughts which is what the op of the post this was left on was doing#being genuinely curious and open#but brother i draw the line at so merrily denying the main fucking point of the character in the catalyst event#GOOD GOD make this game only accessible to 35+ yo's with no internet access#the contents of their blog were just the cherry on top#unblocking them in hopes they see this ig
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lotus-pear · 11 months ago
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i am being so forreal right now, if you talk abt soukoku on my kunikidazai posts i will actually tear your spine out with my bare hands. do NOT.
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faaun · 3 months ago
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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doctordelicate-touch · 3 months ago
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Hi!! Quick sorry for inserting myself into every single conversation ever!! Okay bye bye!!
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skyburger · 7 months ago
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WHAT THE HELL NOBODY EVER TOLD ME TWO OF MY FAVE VILLAGERS GOT A LINE STICKER TOGETHER. ive loved tabby for YEARS like since 2019 at LEAST. and these stickers are from 2018 how did i not know !!! i love tabby and boots so much 😭😭😭 TABBY AND BOOTS ANIMAL CROSSING I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH OOMFS FOREVER AND EVER
#im so happy any official content of tabby is awesome shes my fave i looooove her so much SHES SO SILLY!!!#and boots was one of my starting residents on acnh so he holds a special place in my heart#in case anyone was wondering which im sure you were not. my other starting villager on acnh was rocket and shes soooo silly i love rocket#not enough people love her like shes so silly. u are all HATERS#anyway i love talking about my acnh villagers I WISH I HAD MY ACNL ONES WRITTEN DOWN. the only ones i remember are tabby and kyle#but my acnh ones atm (and when i say atm i mean they will be probably til the end of time)#are my guy sherb (found on one of the ticket islands)#stiches (who i also found on an island i think?)#chai (i have her amiibo card shes so cute.)#tammi (another island find)#stella (man i really did just take the first villagers i found on an island and kept them huh)#rocket and boots (starter villagers)#tabby (I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TRADE HER TO ME ON REDDIT I THINK? and then they were like oh if shes ur fave u can just have her +#like for free. AND THAT WAS SOOOO AWESOME)#bea (i think she was also a ticket island thingy find)#and finally... tom (ok he has a fun story.#i think it was margie who lived on my island at the time and listen she was SUCH a sweetheart i wanted to keep her forever#(she replaced drift who i found on an island and he was mean to me so i have beef with him. still. like four years later.)#but them tom showed up as a camper and i got this crazy hit of nostalgia and i remembered my guy tom was in my childhood city folk town#and i was like. I MISS MY BOY. COME BACK TO ME. so he moved in)#umm only other villager we had was chadder which i think my little brother picked when we shared the island#i think i remember him saying he got chadder because of dantdm...? i dont remember the details#but i got the sanrio amiibo cards which i need to stress i had wanted for YEARS. i was so fucking happy when they got a rerelease#to the point where like. i couldnt get them at first because they sold out super fast. so#i bought them from someone in twitter dms im so serious. and it fucking worked thats how i got them#anyway i wanted chai to move in because shes my fave of that set (i love cinnamoroll) but i needed someone to move out#which i always get so sad about :( but my brother offered to take chadder so i felt a little better abt it#and then i think we forgot to like. have him come get chadder in boxes. so chadder went off somewhere hope hes living a good life#thats it i think. i wish i kept a list of all my villagers ever but considering ive been playing for a decade or so now that would be. crazy#muffin mumbles
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ssparksflyy · 7 months ago
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hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
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jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..
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mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡
there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.
hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed
but other times noooo he goes running 🙄
what is bro running from? sleep???
omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine
one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together
you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out
so you had to stay behind and help fix it
by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭
mind you it was like 9:15 pm
its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??
he apologized sm in the morning tho
but u were like its okay el oh el
he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you
its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho
cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep
he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠
nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡
so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS
u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense
but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡
he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(
he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work
you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))
to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡
jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair
the most relaxing thing everrrrr
i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me
his hair would be soft asf bro
best believe he uses a good conditioner !!
he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~
so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree
0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary
cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts
he looks amazing but THEM EYES
terrifying. staring into ur soul.
theyre cute tho ♡♡
you OBVI have matching pjs
i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick
jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY
but he buys u so many plushies ugh
you own so many jellycats im so jealous
he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like
u have matching build-a-bears !!!
the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(
his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡
nd u get matching outfits for them!!
urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡
i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares
like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(
most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life
but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much
now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((
he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable
little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡
and on the same nights as he does...
CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS
nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !
zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway
i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨
but doesn't actually do anything
u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡
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an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.
peace from manhattan,
percy jackson ♡
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desire-mona · 8 months ago
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things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)
heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such
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the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.
related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!
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ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.
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this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.
"take your seats boys"
"🧍"
also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny
also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.
something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.
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cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.
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the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.
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keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.
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keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.
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THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.
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the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!
more on todd since im on a roll here.
i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.
the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.
anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.
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readingwiththestars · 3 months ago
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₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES
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["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]
| ✮ 3 stars |
ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review
THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]
ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.
like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)
one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.
i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.
also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.
also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.
WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)
CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?
wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.
QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy
all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 1 month ago
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Thinking about the papyrus that makes the puzzles in nightmares castle
Also yes he IS the papyrus of something new, though from another timeline
Like he was there in like..the early days when they castle was done but not like, fully.
So like he must know nightmare VERY well, better then he knows his own brother at this point. Though he doesn't even know where his brother is, but from what he was told he may be dead?
Anyways, i think it'd be a relationship akin to whatever it is with flowey and papyrus. Papyrus still believes nightmare can be a good person.
Also i think nightmare would've tried the "hurting them as discipline" method once, when he was really angry. Only to be surprised that the papyrus got out his hold and went and hid in the library. Yeah he didn't realize that the occasional sparring and just watching him fight was enough for papyrus to get a rough idea of what to do, along with knowing him enough personally to know nightmare hates hurting his books and avoids it as much as he can.
Even more surprised when after he calmed down papyrus asked if he was alright, the reason why he did it, straight up just forced him to talk about it, and gave him a pat on the head and praised him for talking about his feelings
Yes this man forced an immortal being to say why he did what he did and even scolded him since "he could just tell him if he wanted something changed."
I truly think papyrus could fight god and win but ok
(Nightmare avoided papyrus for a while after that just...confused.)
More abt papyrus :3
being close to nightmare for a while i think he might've gone slightly off the rails mentally, just witnessing the insane shit nightmare does and maybe even because of his aura?
He is still very much papyrus, but he is a little closer to being like HT papyrus mentally.
Also i think he'd wear other clothing, actual armor instead of his battle body. Maybe something like a cloak too, thats like hanging off the side of his shoulder (that has a name, no idea what it is, just bear with me because i dont know how this shit works ✊️)
He's technically a guard in title, though he doesn't really do much guarding. Atleast he fulfilled his wish of being a royal guard?
He probably also learned proper etiquette, dancing and swordfighting. He doesn't really need it he just saw nightmare doing it and he thought if was cool, and well, nightmare doesnt have much to do after all of his friends dying- so he teached papyrus
He also knows piano! He is mostly self taught, and a little of when undyne taught him the basics. He learned because he missed undyne 😔
Actually, i think he'd pick up hobbies or have items to remind him of his friends. Snagging a random sanses hoodie because it looked like his brothers (and leaving some g and an apology note after.), learning piano(undyne), making his own hot chocolate recipe(grillby), ACTUALLY learning how to cook(undyne again), learning how to play the trombone(sans)
Also, just imagining nightmare wanting to fuck with killer so while killer is in the office he calls the papyrus over (and says to find his battle body) without telling killer. And just...killer being met with a papyrus that looks so eerily close to his. (I think every papyrus's body is slightly different, you dont notice it unless you'd be his brother or something)
Nightmare got scolded by papyrus afterwards but he wasn't really listening
Also papyrus spars with others frequently :3, he got permission to go out to AUs and spar with the people there (its mostly papyruses, undynes and alphyses but sometimes others too!) And he's done it for a long time aswell, he got really good at it! And he got even BETTER control of his magic then he already had
If you were to ever fight this papyrus it'd be one hell of a challenge for a shit ton of people, so thats fun
I love making papyri really strong and cool 💃
Anyways that was my papyrus rant
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We could always use more Papyrus aus, especially something new papyrus.
{ @brokenramunebottle }
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wiihtigo · 22 days ago
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Your g1->es starbee is so funnie and awesome In your mind how do uou think they got together in g1. Is it pre war. Cross faction romance. I want to go to the world of your transformers fanon
thank youuu^_^ the ES starbee 89 parter is somthn actually cooked up with my friend shayan so i cant took full credit for the vision. but i can take. half credit:)
basically they get together DURING THE WAR for some cross faction drama cuz theyre STUPID theyre so STUPID
(images included for visual aid)
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so they start this romeo and juliet sort of relationship where they keep having to meet in secret to hang out
we didnt dwell too much on how this actually came to be bcuz we were thinking of this as like a real episode script for a 3 parter that would never exist and was thinking their g1 relationship would only be shown in flashbacks while it was already well underway BUT in the back of my mind i always thought it was something like: starscream makes the odd offhanded battleground sarcastic sort of flirty comment at bee and bee is like "??" and internally is like Wow thats crazy i never noticed before that starscream isnt just a huge ugly disgusting hideous mean ugly shambling beast, hes all that but also....interested in me?
i think what draws bee to starscream is that hes treated basically as the baby of the autobots, but going along with my favorite bee characterizations (g1 and the g1 mini novel story 'Joyride' where he kidnaps some delinquents and reenacts Christine and is overall really delightfully evil, ES and idw) hes kind of a jackass sometimes and not just the "sweet little bumblebee, friend to all" that everyone sees him as. I think bee finds his relationship with starscream gratifying because its rebellious and forbidden and also starscream treats him so differently from all the autobots. I also think he gets some sick pleasure from feeling morally superior to him and being able to tease and banter with him and having it always be ok no matter how far he goes because its STARSCREAM its impossible to feel sorry for him.
as for what starscream gets out of it: a scheme. clearly. LOL! I think when they first met up it was just out of curiosity and he planned to kidnap him maybe but for some reason didnt. so they kept seeing each other....and starscream was like "ok this is fine, if i build up trust with this scout maybe i can SEDUCE HIM TO OUR SIDE or take him in him as a hostage and get some brownie points w megs or take him apart and use him as scrap metal or SOMETHING"
i think a point of tension in all their little meetups is them simultaneously thinking "hes so easy to manipulate/I CAN CHANGE HIM"
I think starscream tries to pull a "i was born with glass bones and paper skin" on bee every so often but bee is too smart to fall for it lol. (basically what he did to hashtag in ES- he never learns!) but every once in a while during their talks theres..a tiiiiiny glimmer of honesty...something deeper inside past the lies and fakeass traumadumping that keeps bringing bumblebee back for more....
every time bee broaches the topic of joining the autobots it gets shot down and everytime starscream mentions him joining them bee is like "Are you out of your ever loving mind"
eventually things fall apart, as lazerbeak follows starscream out on one of their secret dates and soundwave confronts him at their spot threatens to snitch. Star is like "Wait i was just using him this entire time i actually dont feel anything for him at all but im sooo close to getting him to trust me enough that i can put on a convincing 'i wanna join the autobots' gambit pleeease dont tell megatron"............and then (dramatic sting) bumblebee was there the whole time...and heard the whole thing...........he givse ss a chance ....starscream digs his heels in and is like gah soundwave you just wasted months of work and soundwave is like ok lets just capture him. (lowkey he knows they were serious abt eachother and is using this as a way to make him choose between this bug or the decepticons) so starscream attacks bee and they capture him and in typical g1 fashion the autobots save him before 20 minutes are up but at that point all trust is LOST starbee is OVER theyre BROKEN UP AND STARSCREAM AND BUMBLEBEE HATE EACH OTHER NOW!!!!!!!!! (i think before optimus and crew showed up to the brig to bust him out starscream tried to come and talk to him when no one was looking but they got into a fight and starscream got genuinely angry that bee didnt believe this couldve TOTALLYYY BEEN AN INTENTIONAL GAMBIT...YOU SHOULDVE TRUSTED ME, so he digs his heels in even deeper and is like ITS TRUE I HATE YOU STUPID AUTOBRAT)
the war goes on. fast forward a million years. and they still havent talked extendedly since then. LOL
theres like a million things that happen in the ES portion but i feel like this ask response is long enough and also its not relevant to what you asked
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bunnihearted · 9 months ago
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📓🖊️
#maybe maybe one day i'll be ok??#maybe i'll manage to get my high school diploma#maybe i'll get a student housing apartment in another city. maybe i can study to become a pre school teacher...#(not my dream job but the only job that seems possible for me)#maybe i'll be able to work on my anxiety and avpd and become more calm#maybe i'll be able to exercise the way i want nd become physically strong#maybe i'll be brave enough to try apps to make girl friends i can hang out with???#maybe i'll get back into writing nd posting it. maybe i'llhave more fun w insta and taking photos again??#maybe i'll fix my relationship w my sisters nd talk to them again??#maybe if im lucky i'll meet someone who i fall in love w who falls for me too? maybe someone will one day choose to be with me??#maybe i can get a real apartment nd have a job? maybe i can even live w a partner one day? and maybe i'll have friends?#maybe i wont be all alone forever?? maybe i wont feel this alienated nd isolated for my entire life??#maybe maybe maybe my life can be alright....? can it really be?#i dont have much hope. but maybe??? plz plz plz let it be so let it be so#and maybe for now.. as im lower than i've ever been before..#maybe i just need to be able to eat more normally again. then i can have my coffe chocolate moments w youtube#and i can watch kdramas nd have dinner. which are two moments that make me feel ok nd calm#<<< i feel ashamed abt it but comforting eating is a thing for me. im gnna be alone 4ever anyway so might aswell just accept thats how i am#so yeah maybe maybe i'll start feel a bit better when i can disconnect from everything nd just get immersed in a kdrama nd have dinner lmao#idk. i just dont feel like i'll ever have a real life. i'll never have what i dream abt (which isnt even much. just love.. just love lmao)#so then i can daydream nd live by reading books nd watching kdramas nd tv shows nd also write a lot#but ofc in my freetime bc i need a job w a stable income nd my own apartment. even if i dont love my job i need one that i can be ok with
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rainsoftenings · 1 month ago
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pls give us ur analysis on transfem nonbinary tenma 🤲
hello ken!! of coarse... preemptive disclaimer before anything else that i myself am not transfem nor do i claim to speak for them. i have just simply observed that a lot of the problems tenma seems to face are also rlly common transfem-specific issues. you can make a fairly strong argument for a transfem tenma reading imo. putting this under a cut bc it got kind of Long
ok in order to talk abt this. we have to talk abt eva. i am not naive enough to write off eva as all bad bc she DOES have redeeming qualities and is not to blame for everything that happened to them. but i do think eva was uniquely bad for their already poor self-esteem and that they likely latched onto eva as hard as they did in order to feel Normal. from the information we are given abt their childhood both in the main story and in Another Monster, as well as lunge's observations that they don't even fit in among other japanese people, it's clear tenma has felt marginalized and/or stripped of agency for a very, very long time. their family dynamic (cold mother who openly favored their half-siblings over them, father who pressured them to become a doctor for his own personal gain. their only sibling who still talks to them only does so bc he wants them to take his job) as well as their willingness to bond with people who hurt them (it is specifically mentioned that they made friends with their childhood bullies, who called them a sissy and left them alone in the woods. this only happened bc they were impressed with tenma's bravery in staying out overnight) seems to have led them to minimize their own desires and become extremely meek. arguably them fleeing to germany in order to escape their father's desire to have them work at his hospital was their best attempt at fighting this, but it backfired bc the heinemanns immediately picked up on their vulnerabilities and exploited them.
back to eva. where udo preying on tenma's insecurities and desire for approval was certainly intentional, the worst part abt their relationship with eva is that i dont even think eva was consciously aware of what she was doing to them/their feelings in general. she is very much a person whose life was meticulously laid out for her in advance and when it diverged from this plan she ended up at a complete loss. her insistence that they did "everything she asked" (with the sexual implication being extremely obvious) as well as them acquiescing to doing things they don't like in order to feel worthy of her love (to the point of even letting her pick out their outfits!)... well, it reads a LOT like comptop to me. it seems very similar to the relationship between trianon and oenone from serious weakness at times; though they differ in several key aspects, it's clear that when they got together both tenma and eva were looking at each other more symbolically than holistically. to tenma, eva was the normalcy and love they so desperately craved; to eva, tenma was supposed to not only be subservient to her (bc she cant imagine not being doted on), they were also supposed to be the Husband and rake in lots of money for the hospital, in essence putting them to the same end as their father initially wanted for them without consideration if that's what they actually want. losing eva causes tenma to get a fuller picture of who she rlly is very quickly, but it takes eva So much longer to do the same for them. and the heartbreaking thing abt this is that even though eva backstabs them several times and makes attempts on their life, whenever she's in danger they instantly go to great lengths to save her. it's second nature to them
this damaging selflessness doesnt extend to just eva, either- it's arguably the entire basis of their character. i think it's very interesting (read: sad) that in addition to their kindness simply biting them in the ass multiple times/tenma deliberately disallowing themself anger and smoothing over relations with ppl who have betrayed them in the past bc theyre so desperate for anyone to be their friend or ally, this is nearly always paired with bodily neglect. we literally see tenma struggle to eat consistently over the course of the manga, from smth as simple as a waitress deliberately offering them extra soup when she sees that theyve not eaten anything, to stuff as dramatic as them collapsing in prison from lack of food and sleep and needing hospitalization. im tempted to highlight the contrast between grimmer having a picnic with them out of nowhere and eva deliberately ruining the picnic they tried to have with her too but i feel like that's fairly well trodden ground analytically, but it still deserves a mention here. they are notably more gaunt by the end of the series than they were when they started out, i think it's most obvious when you see they've cut their hair back to its original length and it serves to emphasize that they'll never be the same person again. i think it's also noteworthy (though certainly unintentional) that urasawa uses them growing out their stubble as a marker that their mental health is yet again at its lowest. i am reminded of the time i took a dissociation test and it gave me a result that ppl with eating disorders typically score. i don't think i have one, just dysphoria, but with tenma it seems a lot like both at once.
put all together, and given the themes of the manga? i dont think transition would save tenma. not even close. but they should do it anyway if only because it would be an easy way for them to start being kinder to themself again, a skill they badly need to learn. if they could just take that first step toward giving themself a little mercy i think they would be a lot happier with themself. they already have two kids who love them completely unconditionally, i think having that extra support would be great for them! and also i think they're hot and i'd like to see ppl draw (NORMAL, NON RACIST) art of them in dresses and with sweaty small boobs and so on. Sue me ngl the nonbinary part is simply bc i think theyd feel some distance from womanhood after having been excluded from society in multiple ways for so long, that little extra bit of dehumanization tends to manifest in weird ways wrt ppl's internal perception of gender. and imo theyd be so tired by the end of everything that i highly doubt theyd enjoy being thrust into an entirely new set of gendered pressures and just want to skip the whole business. but i am open to any and all permutations of transfem tenma. i want them to be happy!! in conclusion:
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kroosluvr · 4 months ago
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hi!! as a fellow royal trio-truther ive been ADORING and loving your posts so much <3 you mentioned that you've like mentally re-wired shusumi so i was curious if you had a list of head-canons for how they develop in the game/post-game!! Im super curious to hear (: also any head-canons for the akesumi dynamic would be great bc I hate how little the game developed them together !!!
OMGGGGGGGGG HAYYYYYYYYYY ok so. first. look at this (idr if i posted this here already but if i did look again heh..)
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ok now ill actually talk under the cut
note that some of this is headcanon territory bc i just be frolicking at this point
some backstory i fell in love w sumi as soon as her art was revealed i was like omfg peak design PEAKKKKKK i love her so much so i was really excited abt her but i feel like there were so many loose ends w her confidant and namely her crush on protag sometimes doing her a disservice (it turned ppl off from her (understandable bc i also dislike when writers make a female character out to be dependent on a male character) but also made other ppl weird abt her in the same breath....... shivers. people who overly-romanticize/sexualize mentally ill characters (especially girls/women) freak me out sorry
anyway that put me off frm p5 fandom for a hot minute. BUT regardless. i think people often focus on like "shy cute sadgirl kouhai crush-on-protag" for her which on top of atlus's.......mediocre handling of her also does her character a disservice... shes so multilayered!! she houses such insane convoluted levels of distress and fear and anger and reluctance and most of all STUBBORNNESS. i think her headstrong personality is not really emphasized in fandom but i can totally see it (maybe its just me but).
ok moving on to my shsm delusions i think to turn sumire's canon crush on its head i want to make them doomed to never get together. i think 3rd semester is so tense and high-emotion that royal trio are so deeply intertwined w each other:
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like they all are mildly-to-a-lot suicidal so they hold onto each other so tightly to make sure none of them spirals and does anything bad. i think in the end they just want the other two to be Okay, even if they themself doesn't. if the other two are ok, then it's all good.
ok back to shsm LMAO i think seeing their relationship as like an odd high-emotion situation makes sense. they love each other, obviously, and provide each other comfort, but the idea of a relationship slips thru their fingers like water. is that right...? is that how it is? like i said up there they just crumble under the weight of their own love. tldr theyre in no place to "date" each other........ but they have their "almost." they're inseparable, they love spending time with each other, but knowing in the back of their heads that it won't last, and they'll have to leave it be one day. "sometimes when i really love someone i leave them alone forever." peak shsm to me. "let's run away together - but what if it's not enough? what if all of this fear and sadness still stays? i take a man down to the river and he throws away his sadness but hes still left with his hands, he's still left with the river (paraphrased richard siken). peak shsm to me. i think they try to treat eachother so softly and gently that it fucks it all up, actually. peak shsm to me. it's not codependency in the sense that theyre not trying to save each other - they're just trying to salvage out some love from it all. all of these terrible things that happened: there's still love, right? there's still love. but the pain can't all be sifted out, and everything still hurts. but they still love. (they just don't date or even talk to each other much after graduating and i think they talk to akechi but to each other its suddenly COMPLICATED. i hate these guys)
ironically i think if you throw akechi in the mix it stabilizes out and i think shuakesumi could totally have a happy married ending. but shsm as a pair i dont see endgame for them. peak for me is that theyre in love and then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget each other (they don't)
(If this sounds ridiculous and stupid im sorry. i just like shoving too-many-emotions onto my favs sometimes (a lot of the time))
IN REGARDS TO AKESUMI i think my latest 2 comics describe how i feel abt them pretty well!!! link 1 and link 2. actually i think akesumi's friendship is a great way for me to explore how i see/portray/feel about sumire, because i see them as way more similar than the game pays attention to. they're both stuck in their ways: sumire in her cowardice, hiding from the incident and refusing to move on, and akechi entrenched in his own traumas and feeling like he doesn't deserve more than that. their self-hatred manifests in two opposite ways but its very similar at the core. they both like. have no fucking clue what they're doing in terms of handling their pasts so that's why i think them working together to get around their own respective traumas is so fascinating: akechi is terrible at it, pushing sumire too far, but at the same time that perspective is something that she needs. meanwhile, her sensitive and observant personality shows akechi that like, you can have This too: a soft, good love. to have someone care about you unconditionally, so gently. you deserve that, too. yeah i can explode my head off now
i did not proofread this.
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huellitaa · 9 months ago
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₊˚.𖹭 stop romanticising self hatred.
𓏲. something that absolutely infuriates me is just how fucking normalised self hatred is nowadays. let me get this straight you hate it when someone else talks shit abt or hurts one of your loved ones but its PERFECTLY FINE to go hating on and sabotaging and abusing and neglecting yourself ??? girl .
i have said this so many times and i cannot stress this enough that you are and forever will be the most important relationship you have for the rest of your life because youre there 24/7 365 every second every day all the time forever. so it absolutely baffles me how this is the relationship people are constantly neglecting the most?????????
like think ab it for a sec. its absolutely ridiculous????? it saddens me when i see anyone, even little kids saying they hate themselves and getting laughs out of it.its not funny and its not something to be normalised or romanticised. and because we are surrounded with this mindset it reflects on us too and we subconsciously blend into it and absorb it into our self perception.
dont. do. this. its ridiculous and sad and self deprecating and only reinforces other peoples negative perceptions of us further when they may not have even been there to begin with. do you seriously want to be one of those people? do you seriously want people to view you as insecure and self deprecating and desperate for attention and sad and uncomfortable in their own skin? no. no u dont.
i do not wanna hear you saying you hate yourself or anything of the sort ever. again. its stupid and useless and provides absolutely nothing to you. why do you do it? seriously? like? its ridiculous? stfu?
no. you walk into the room and you hold your head high. you make your presence known because your presence is a blessing. you are a blessing. you keep your back straight and your shoulders back and you know your the shit bc u ARE. stop acting like youre not just to fit in with everyone else. stop engaging with them if thats what it takes. youre worth so much more than that.
u are amazing and talented and stunning and can do absolutely anything in the world and yet you still choose to do this. you are amazing. start acting like it ok?? <3
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