#i love them dearly but not in a romantic or queerplatonic or any other sense

[coles-scythe]

Does anyone else feel like a strange sense of bittersweet nostalgia for previous F/Os that you no longer see as an F/O (for any reason)? Kinda like a sense of longing for what was, but the feelings just aren't there anymore or have changed to something else.

[wolfandrain]

Eons late to this as usual but thank you so much for the tag!! Honestly it was really hard to choose so I just tried to vary the fandoms as much as possible.

Five Ships for Five Fandoms (in no particular order)

Lan Wanji/Wei Wuxian (The Untamed/MDZS) - It would be remiss of me not to put these two in here, as The Untamed was the show that got me into cdramas, cnovels, and eventually led to me getting into thai dramas. Shoutout to you early 2020s lockdown hyperfixation! Plus the stoic but relentlessly devoted one/chaotic genius with blisteringly low self-worth pairing is a gold mine for hurt/comfort, and that shit's my jam. Also points for being canonically queer.

Hak/Yona (Yona of the Dawn) - Hard to go wrong with a classic bodyguard and his princess. Watching their relationship go from hopelessly one-sided to fully reciprocated as Yona learns and grows and becomes a badass in her own right is extremely satisfying and sweet, and really I should start reading the manga again.

Rhysand/Feyre (ACOTAR etc.) - Yes I am a basic bitch, yes I've read some of Maas' books, cringe isn't real, embrace the cringe. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you've managed to avoid the romance/fantasy aisle of your local bookstore and honestly, power to you :)

Kim Ga On/Kang Yo Han (The Devil Judge) - The first non-canon ship on this list, these two probably wouldn't have been on here if not for this fic, which I've been following for multiple years and is shaping up to be one of my all time favourites. Listen, you give me a closed off calculating man with trauma and a clever but kind man with a little darkness of his own (and also trauma) and make them feel all the feelings, I am there for it. (Gang can we tell I like hurt/comfort? XD)

Kodama Sakuko & Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari) - This one is cheating because it's explicitly NOT a ship in the romantic sense, but I will take any chance possible to yell about both this show and these two. Koisenu Futari is a lovely little Japanese show about two canon (canon!) aroace people who, through various circumstances, find themselves living together. Much of the premise from this point forward involves the two of them literally test-running a "new" kind of relationship, where they figure out how to be family to each other without romance. It's quite literally the best ace rep I've ever seen, their relationship screams queerplatonic, and the show itself made me cry more than once. Both Sakuko and Takahashi are so different from each other, but I love them both and the way they interact so dearly.

Tagging (no pressure of course): @the-lonely-catt @cosmiic-cove @thevampireauthoress @piezadelego and anyone else who feels inclined :)

Five Ships for Five Fandoms

Thank you @croik for the tag! These are not in any particular order.

John Doe/Yellow (Malevolent) - I love John/Arthur and Arthur/Hastur, but I chose this because right now the dynamic of “two fragments of one being with very different first impressions of Earth reunite and grow to love each other” is haunting me in the best way.

Pearl/Amethyst (Steven Universe) - I probably wouldn’t have started shipping them if it weren’t for this fic (link). Pearl, in canon and this AU, had a long history of repressing herself due to the rules around her. Amethyst is chaotic and outgoing by nature. It’s a fantastic “opposites attract” dynamic.

SAYER/Jacob Hale (SAYER) - “Finally, a silent human who obeys me unquestioningly” to “I will face the horrors of corporeality to keep him safe” pipeline. Also it’s fucked up (affectionate) for Jacob Hale to fall for the first person he remembers ever meeting, who has immense power over him and has pushed him near death many times. The power of SAYER Voice Hot compels him.

The Doctor/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) - I know it’s basic. This was my jam in high school and I still think of it fondly. The Ninth Doctor, the Tenth Doctor, and the Metacrisis Doctor (Tentoo) all have intriguing dynamics with her that have led to some of my favorite fics.

Rosemary Harper/Sissix (The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet) - This is a canon F/F human/nonhuman relationship in a book I really enjoy! I highly recommend the Wayfarers series to anyone who enjoys worldbuilding, character-focused stories, and human-alien relations (romantic and otherwise). For this ship in particular, I love Rosemary’s journey in learning more about Sissix’s culture and how Aandrisks approach sex, leading to her developing more confidence in pursuing this relationship. It’s really fun to watch their coworkers to friends to lovers relationship grow. (I’m sorry if this counts as a spoiler, but there’s a whole plot and several characters I haven’t even mentioned. Not to mention three more books in the same universe. Go read the Wayfarers series!)

Tagging (no pressure): @caedmonfaith @wolfandrain @astral-circuitry @darkdragon768 @voodoopunx and anyone else who wants to!

[qpr-culture-is]

how do i differentiate between romantic and queerplatonic attraction?

Well that's a bit of a tricky question to answer (especially considering the fact that im not sure if the "romantic attraction" i had before was actually queerplatonic or not). This is the best bit of information I could give you on that:

I think one of the main differences is that with queerplatonic attraction you want more of romantic like relationship but still value your friendship with the person dearly, and see no reason to prioritize romantic love over that platonic bond (if that makes sense).

Romantic attraction- typically (or at least from my understanding) you want a strictly romantic relationship that includes romantic love and close intimacy, whether or not a close platonic bond still exists. You'll likely imagine yourself doing romantic things with them that if fueled by romantic feelings. You will likely want them to just be your partner, and a close friendship with them isn't highly prioritized. You want to date and be intimate with them in more of a romantic way (usually strictly romantic but it doesn't have to be).

Queerplatonic attraction- you want a close intimate relationship with them, but you don't mind if it's strictly romantic and would even be fine with being close and caring friends. When you imagine doing romantic things with them, the underlying feeling might be a mixture of platonic and romantic. You might view the person as someone you wish to be your close/best friend and lover at the same time. This is just from personal experience and the fact that im arospec might play into it but i view the words s/o and best friend the same way. You want to date them, but perhaps not in a romantic way, or at least a fully romantic way.

I could go into many other differenece but these are the main ones I can think of. And remember, your experiences don't have to fit those desriptions exactly becuase it can be different for everyone. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what kind of attraction it might be. In many ways, the two kinds of attractions overlap in meaning so it can be difficult to tell which one it is, so just use your best judgment to figure out which it is, and if you can't that's okay too. You don't need to figure out exactly the type of attraction it is if you don't believe it's completely necessary. Hopefully that helped and as always feel free to ask any other questions you may have

[fire-fira]

Hi. Um, would you be able to explain the differences (and maybe similarities) between platonic, queerplatonic, and romantic relationships? Because I can't seem to find a consistent answer... Please and thank you.

Okay, so know ahead of time that what I’m going to tell you is just based on my own experiences and what I know. I’ll also add that since I’m aro I’ve never experienced romantic attraction (though I love my fiance dearly and will happily live the rest of my life with her).

So-

Platonic: These are the relationships where you have no real romantic or sexual interest in the other person (or people). Friends (whether of the acquaintance variety or the good friends you have for years), people who you would happily adopt as siblings or some other form of family, and family (if you get along with them– like siblings and cousins).

Romantic: These are the relationships characterized by romantic attraction. Most of what I’m aware of it’s fair to characterize these relationships with the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling, moments of not really being able to think of anything else when you’re thinking about the other person (or people), etc. (If someone who isn’t aro could fill in an explanation of this a little more coherently, it’d be appreciated.) These relationships are usually pretty emotionally intense with a strong sense of commitment (so far as I’m aware).

Queerplatonic: Like platonic relationships these relationships are characterized by a lack of sexual or romantic attraction– however, like romantic relationships they are emotionally intense and have a strong sense of commitment. These are relationships where you will happily live with and plan your life around being with the person (or people), completely in absence of sexual or romantic attraction. In my own experience this is the sort of relationship that grows over time that might creep up on you without you realizing it until it’s already been established for a while. A lot of people try to brush off queerplatonic relationships as just ‘best friends’, but ‘best friends’ don’t plan their lives around each other, don’t plan on living with each other, don’t make plans to marry each other (or to have a committed relationship of some type), and generally aren’t bothered when the other people they’re close to make comments along the lines of “Why do you have to tell _____ about what you’re doing or when to expect you back? They’re just a friend.” And when the commitment of a queerplatonic relationship is recognized for what it is, most people end up assuming the relationship is a romantic one.

I’ll also say that it’s possible for there to be a mixed relationship where it’s romantic for one person and queerplatonic for another (or any sort of mix if you’re in a ply relationship and have multiple partners). For instance with my relationship with my fiance on my end it’s queerplatonic but on her end it’s romantic, and our commitment to each other isn’t really affected by that difference. We’re still going to get married at some point and we’ll be together on into old age and however long we have (and as far as I’m concerned she’s the only person I’m ever going to marry).

I hope that makes it a little more clear. And if you’ve got any further questions, my inbox is always open.