#i love them all. a lot. but jesus christ its complicated

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

the real struggle when befriending a whole bunch of trans folks and being trans yourself is "who is he out to", "is he out as a guy but not as this name", "guys PLEASE i'm out to my parents but i am NOT ready to tell them i have a second name yet HEY SHUT UP", "oh fuck oh fuck this person referred to them as their chosen name but this one right besides used the agab pronouns and name GUESS I JUST WON'T REFER TO THEM AT ALL IN THIRD PERSON"

[wheneverfeasible]

Confession

wc: 3k || rating: T+ || AO3 || cw: referenced homophobia, homophobic language || summary: Eddie comes out to Wayne

Eddie Munson was bi.

Bisexual, meaning liking boys and girls and anything in-between.

What. The. Fuck.

It was all stupid Harrington’s fault. Steve. God, why did it have to be a preppy jock? There were plenty of other guys that could have snapped that realization on him, but no, he had to watch Steve Harrington spit out demobat blood (if it could be called that) after ripping its fucking spine out that made Eddie realize ‘huh, I think I like guys.’

It wasn’t like Steve was the only guy he was attracted to, he was shocked to realize. No, now that he knew that it was a possibility, his obsession with some of the musicians of bands whose music he wasn’t even that fond of started making a lot more sense, as well as how he’d reacted to some of the guys he’d gone to school with, or who had bought from him, and Jesus H. Christ, that guy at The Hideout had been hitting on him, hadn’t he?

So yeah, Eddie was dealing with a little bit of shock at his attraction to his friend, as well as the fact that that attraction was also apparently becoming a legitimate crush. Because that was healthy and safe to do. Especially when last he knew, Steve was still hung up on Nancy. And in a weird codependent relationship with Robin. Seriously, if he had to listen to Dustin complaining about why Steve wouldn’t just date Robin one more time, he was going to pull his hair out.

But so Eddie was bisexual. That was fine. Once he’d had his little crisis—and he’d been given plenty of time to think about it while recovering from being the main course at the all-you-can-eat Eddie Munson buffet—he’d done a little bit of research into the topic. Which was how he’d discovered that he had unintentionally been telling every gay man (if he came across any) that he apparently liked to top and was into inflicting pain with his sexual partners (suddenly the guy at The Hideout made more sense).

And…okay, maybe Eddie left the bandana there. He didn’t know, but the idea of it wasn’t too bad. Maybe. Maybe he should look into getting other bandana colors too, just in case.

It didn’t matter. He was still inexperienced, had only been with chicks before, and even then there had only been three of them. Two of them had only slept with him for the story, and the third one…well, everyone needed a little heartbreak in their life he supposed. Maybe he and Steve could compare notes.

The idea of sleeping with a guy, however, was not…unpleasant. It took him by surprise, sure, but he thought he could be down to trying some things out.

That wasn’t the issue on hand, however. It wasn’t what was eating him up inside, making him nauseous as he gnawed at his cuticles, pacing back and forth in the new double wide trailer the government had bought for them after Forest Hills was repaired. (R.I.P. to his uncle’s mug and hat collection.)

And there it was. The issue. His uncle.

Eddie could keep it a secret, sure. Could stay firmly inside the closet he hadn’t even known he’d been in, sitting safe and secret. But…that went against Eddie stood for. Sure, he knew he couldn’t shout it from the rooftop that he maybe sometimes thought about what it would feel like to have one of his best friends’ dicks in his mouth, but this was his uncle, man. This was Wayne.

Christ, he wished he had Ronnie, his former best friend, here to talk with her about all this. (He had also discovered another identity he hadn’t known about, asexuality, which he thought was right up Ronnie’s alley and wished he could tell her, but that was impossible now. She’d left Hawkins behind for a fresh start and he couldn’t blame her.)

But that meant that he was all alone. He loved the new friends he had, loved his band, but…well, this was something a little more complicated. And he wanted to tell his uncle. But…

Eddie gulped, every crunch of gravel outside the trailer sending an electric current through him as his anxiety spiked. His uncle should be home from work soon. Eddie paced a small circuit, knowing he needed a cigarette but also not wanting to go outside. His uncle had declared the new trailer a smoke-free zone. He doubted it would remain that way after this conversation.

He’d like to think his uncle would be supportive. After all, this was Wayne. His uncle loved him, had been there for him even when his own father hadn’t, and had stood by his side even when the whole town thought he was some psycho satanic serial killer. Hell, Wayne had walked in to Chrissy’s mangled corpse in his trailer and hadn’t once suspected Eddie of being guilty.

But having a queer for a nephew?

His uncle was progressive, but that didn’t mean he’d feel as complacent about his nephew being…what he was. His uncle had taken him in after he’d already grown and never expected him to help with the rent money, though Eddie did anyways with the money he got from dealing. But so Eddie was an adult, had a GED to his name, and didn’t need his uncle’s charity anymore.

Gravel crunched outside, the familiar sound of a truck engine rumbling along, and Eddie knew his uncle was home. Fuck. He hoped he didn’t leave this encounter with a black eye. Or worse. Hell, there were some people in this town that if he told this secret to, he wouldn’t leave the encounter at all. Not alive at least.

He knows his uncle isn’t like they though. He knows. Still, the fear persists. He’d always known he’d be too much for his uncle eventually. Would this be the final straw?

Wayne’s footsteps sounded on the porch.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

Eddie had, in case he had to leave quickly, already packed a duffel. He wanted to trust his uncle, and he did, really, but…but there was that sickness going around, and Reagan, and Hawkins was such a conservative town, and Eddie just couldn’t know, not for certain. Not with something like this.

“Heya kid,” Wayne said with a gruffness to his voice that spoke of long hours at the plant, though there was the small relieved smile that curled his lips when he got home and saw Eddie there. Like Eddie’s presence was a reassurance now. Eddie hated that he was about to ruin that all.

Because sure, there was a possibility that Wayne would accept him, or at least not kick him out, but Eddie had seen too much shit to think that things would ever be easy for him. It was the Munson Curse.

“Hey Uncle Wayne,” Eddie said, and maybe it was the title, maybe it was the way his words warbled in his throat, but Wayne immediately stopped from where he was moving to pour the morning’s coffee into a generic mug and turned to face Eddie with a furrowed expression.

“Everything all right, Eds?” he asked quietly, hesitantly, and took a large stride over to where Eddie was hovering by the coffee table. He froze, however, eyes widening, when Eddie flinched. Wayne swallowed, his gaze darting over Eddie as though looking for an injury. “Eddie?”

He could do this. His uncle deserved to know he had a fucking fairy living under his roof. Maybe he wouldn’t care, or maybe he’d be fine with it as long as Eddie never acted on it, or maybe…maybe…

Eddie thickly swallowed against the rising burn of bile in the back of his throat. He wanted his uncle to know because this was a part of who he was and it was important to be honest with himself and with his only family member still alive that genuinely loved him, just…he hoped he didn’t lose that love with his confession. But he wanted Wayne to know. Even if it hurt.

“U-Uncle…” Eddie wrapped his arms tightly around himself, his tone almost pleading. He blinked back the burn behind his eyes next, willing the words to come out of his mouth. As soon as he’d fully realized the truth, fully known what it meant, he knew that he’d tell Wayne. No matter what, he wanted his uncle to know this about him.

Wayne’s face grew slightly panicked at Eddie’s response, the way he held himself, the tone of his voice, and Eddie could tell the older man wanted to reach out for him but was taken aback by Eddie’s earlier flinch. Christ, would Wayne still want to hug him after this? Touch him? Be in the same room as him? Breathe the same air?

Would he tell Eddie that Alan Munson had been right all these years when he’d continually abandoned Eddie because he’d somehow known his own son wasn’t worth sticking around for?

Wayne took another step closer and Eddie panicked.

“I’m bi!” he exclaimed suddenly, wincing as he withdrew into himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he subconsciously braced for some sort of physical attack. “I’m bisexual,” he whispered, his words shaking.

There was silence, stillness.

Eddie drew in a shaky breath and risked opening his eyes to look at Wayne, expecting disgust, revulsion, perhaps even anger. Instead, all he got was…confusion?

“What?” Wayne asked, his expression full of his lack of understanding what Eddie had just said.

Eddie swallowed again. “I…I’m bi? I like…both girls and boys,” he clarified carefully, though there was a touch of confusion in his own words, his brows furrowing as they only seemed to stump Wayne further. Eddie frowned, figuring he was as clear as could be.

“Did…” Wayne began frowning a little himself, still looking confused. “Okay? But you’re lookin’ like you wanted t’ tell me somethin’.”

Eddie blinked.

“I’m bi,” he repeated pointedly, his arms dropping to his side.

Wayne rolled his eyes to look at the ceiling for a moment in mild exasperation before looking at Eddie again. “Son, did someone say somethin’ ‘bout it?” His lips twisted into a small scowl. “Did that Harrington boy say anything?”

“What? Jesus, no!” Eddie exclaimed, because why the hell was his uncle bringing up Steve when he’d just come out to him? His insides still warmed at being called ‘son,’ however. “Wayne I’m…I…” The panic started up again despite everything and he swallowed nervously. “I like boys, Wayne. I’m a queer.”

Wayne just blinked at him, his scowl turning once more into a confused frown. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s the truth!” Eddie exploded, not having expected his uncle to think he was making it up or lying. Jesus, and what a thing to lie about.

“Obviously,” Wayne snorted in answer, crossing his arms over his chest as he let his gaze roam over Eddie as if looking for an answer. “But I need to know what this prelude is for.”

Eddie felt lost. He stared at his uncle in confusion, his earlier fear and anxiety slowly draining away as he tried to make sense of what was happening. His uncle sounded…sounded like he already…

“You knew?” he asked, voice soft and fragile.

Wayne’s brows lowered, and Eddie felt a little offended that Wayne was looking at him like he was an idiot. “Eddie…I’ve known since you were twelve years old and told me you thought Big Bill Broonzy was pretty after lookin’ through your mom’s old records with the biggest blush on your face.”

Eddie gaped. He vaguely recalled something like that, but that wasn’t…he hadn’t…Jesus fucking H. Christ.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Eddie huffed in sudden annoyance.

“I thought you knew!” Wayne protested, throwing his hands up and looking like he was losing what this conversation was even about. “Wait, you mean to tell me that you’ve been makin’ moonin’ eyes at the Harrington boy and you didn’t even know you liked him?”

Eddie’s blush now could rival any he made when he was twelve. He stuttered, gaped, and dragged a whole handful of hair to cover his face in his embarrassment. “I know that,” he whined. “God, have I have been that obvious?”

Wayne snorted, rolling his eyes as he moved to finish pouring himself that cup of coffee. “Had me worried he finally said somethin’,” he muttered to himself. He turned to point the plain white mug at Eddie. “If he or any of the others do, you let me know, Edster, you got that?”

Eddie softly groaned, burying his face in his hands next as he stumbled back to drop onto the sofa. No wonder Robin had started giving him those looks. He gulped. And…and Steve. Steve had been smiling at him more often, was…was lightly touching him with lingering fingers, had even used that voice on him that he’d use on the pretty girls that stopped by Family Video…

Steve hadn’t been using that voice on any pretty girls that stopped by Family Video recently.

Gulping, realizing that that was not something he had the ability to think about right now, he focused on the truly important thing. He lifted his head to stare at his uncle with wide, shining eyes, his heart fluttering so madly in his ribcage he’d almost thought he’d trapped a bird in there. He licked his lips, eyeing his uncle with wary hope.

“You…you don’t mind?” he asked, needing to clarify, needing to know. “You don’t mind I like boys too?”

Wayne snorted, reaching for another mug and pouring it half full, leaving enough space for him to pour a godawful amount of sugar and a splash of milk in it, just like his nephew liked it, before taking it over to Eddie. He sat down on the sofa next to him, hanging it over. Eddie was grateful for it, even if it was room temperature now.

“Son, I know you ain’t lived here with me long, and I know your father…well, Al’s always had his faults. But we’re family, kid. I’ve loved you since the moment Elizabeth told me she was pregnant with you. Nothing is ever gonna change that, you hear?” He sniffed, taking a sip of his coffee. “‘Sides, ain’t nothin’ wrong with love. You just got lucky, and your chances for love have doubled now.”

Eddie glanced over at his uncle with a shy smile, relief and affection for the older man coursing through him. He cradled his own mug between his hands, drawing in a shaky breath. Wayne knew. Wayne knew and he still loved him. A small, tearful chuckle escaped him and he hastily wiped away one of the tears that fell down his cheek.

“Eddie…” Wayne sighed, sounding regretful as he set his mug on the coffee table and turned to properly face his nephew. “I am deeply sorry if I have ever made you feel like I wouldn’t accept you, like my love for you was conditional.”

Eddie hastily shook his head, setting his own mug down to mirror Wayne’s position, curling one knee halfway on the couch. “You didn’t,” he reassured. “You didn’t, I just…I…” He felt bad now for doubting Wayne. For packing a bag like he was going to get tossed out at any moment. For thinking even just for a second that his uncle would ever hit him.

Wayne studied Eddie’s face before letting out a soft sigh and a small nod. “I understand. It’s not safe out there right now, especially not with everything.” And Wayne didn’t even know everything. He couldn’t, not with all the papers Eddie’d been forced to sign while being patched up after everything. But he knew that he didn’t know, so there was at least that.

“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” Eddie murmured. “I trust you, Wayne. That’s why I wanted you to know. As soon as I was sure, I wanted you to know.” He huffed. “Meanwhile, you knew before even I did.”

Wayne grinned then, reaching out to clap Eddie on the shoulder, making the younger man grin back. “Here I thought it was just some unspoken understanding between us. Guess I know why you always seemed confused when I bought more mugs with rainbows on them.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie moaned, slapping a hand to his face. “I am such an idiot.”

Throwing his head back with a laugh, Wayne relaxed against the sofa, making Eddie chuckle and do the same. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, boy. Just know that you’re safe here, and so is whoever you bring around.” He huffed. “Even if it is the Harrington boy.”

Eddie quickly shook his head again, his hair fanning around him at the force of it, a nervous laugh escaping him. “Oh no, Wayne. Absolutely not. Steve is as straight as they come.” He smiled a little ruefully at that, and though Steve had been smiling at him like that, it was just because they were friends. Expecting anything else would just lead to more heartbreak.

Wayne gave him a disbelieving quirk of his brows. “Whatever you say, kid.”

Eddie rolled his eyes in response. “You thought he had said something homophobic earlier.”

Reaching for his mug, Wayne gave a one shouldered shrug. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone projected anger at themselves outwards.” He eyed Eddie. “They good to you though? Your friends. You feel…safe with them?”

Eddie thought about that. He trusted them, with his life actually, and not just in the figurative way. They’d proven that they’d save him, time and again. He even had his very own brand new walkie-talkie and call sign to show for it. He was part of something bigger now, something real, which was just what he had always wanted. Even if it was all over, their little group was a forever sort of thing.

Smiling, Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” He glanced over at Wayne with a soft look. “But no matter what, I know have you to back me up so…yeah, I feel safe because I know at the end of the day, I won’t be alone.” He had needed to tell Wayne first, but maybe…maybe he could tell the others too. Eventually.

Wayne gave a short nod. He seemed content with that answer. “Just remember to use protection when you bring your boy over.”

“Wayne!” Eddie screeched scandalized, but his uncle only laughed.

Of course, it still took several months to get there, but when Wayne came home early one day to find Eddie and Steve shirtless and making out on the sofa, all Eddie could do was give his uncle a sheepish smile.

When the next day Wayne came home and chucked a new pack of condoms at his head, Eddie just gave another scandalized screech while Steve, once again next to him, flushed a bright cherry tomato red.

They’d use them, of course, but it was the principle of the matter.

[queerprayers]

Hello! I'm a genderfluid Christian and I'm currently trying to discern whether going on HRT would be a good idea, both in terms of whether it would be worth the inconvenience and whether it would be glorifying to God. Do you have any recommendations?

(For a long time, I was comfortable in my gender without it, but a few months ago something shifted and now I can't stop thinking about it. I would ask a pastor, but I'm between churches at the moment; the Baptist church I went to for many years, despite its many good qualities, is not at all affirming, and I'm still in the process of finding a better spiritual home, which is further complicated by the fact that I am nocturnal.)

Thank you for running this blog, by the way. It means a lot to me.

Hello, beloved! I will do my best and I'm so glad you're here.

I hope you've heard this quote from Daniel M. Lavery, but just in case you haven't: "As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: 'God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.'"

Another quote from that book (Something That May Shock and Discredit You, which I highly recommend) that comes to mind is “Trying not to transition was the hardest work in the world. The nicest thing about transition was letting go.” I believe you that you're unsure, and I'm not trying to make your decision for you, but on the off chance that any of your discerning has taken the form of trying to convince yourself not to transition in this way, or downplaying your current discomfort, or not trusting yourself out of fear, I'd say that being trans in this world is hard enough without being on your own side.

Ultimately, you know yourself and your experience, and I'd hazard a guess that you've already decided more than you think. Often by the time I'm reaching out about a life change, I'm asking permission more than advice. If that rings true, here's your permission (not that you need it from me).

I hope you don't mind, but I checked in with my partner (a certified Transgender) while answering this, and I'll paraphrase what they had to say about HRT and inconvenience: Is the travel time to see a loved one worth the inconvenience? Ultimately, you are worth dealing with inconvenience. The happiness you could have is worth the inconvenience. Being trans is hard with or without medical transition. But sharing in the act of creation is worth it. We are all worth doing hard things for, and for some that includes fighting to get on HRT and being visibly trans in public.

You can't know until you begin a journey if it will be "worth it"—but I would imagine answering this for yourself, giving this instinct inside you a chance, would be worth it even if it's not forever. There are people who start HRT and decide it's not for them—and their lives aren't ruined. Their lives are fuller for honoring what they wanted at that point in time. Obviously regret happens—but we cannot refrain from living because of that. Your gender identity and your relationship with your body may change and grow, and all parts of that change are worth of honoring.

As to whether this would glorify God—are you honoring the person God created? If (to paraphrase St. Teresa of Ávila) Christ has no body now on earth but yours, if yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world, the feet with which he walks to do good, the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world —what body are you moving through this world with, and how will you care for it? What will enable you to live out Christ? Jesus calls us to meet every stranger as himself—what would happen if you met yourself as such, too? If everything we do to another is what we do to Christ—feed, clothe, honor—why would you be any less? Why would your body not be worthy of existence, of shelter?

If our bodies are temples to God, are they not places of worship? Of course my journey with accepting my body has shown me that we can be faithful Christians before accepting ourselves, and as we learn to care for ourselves. I don't mean to imply we cannot. But our peaceful existence in these places of worship takes work, and just as we work to make our churches more accessible and accepting, so must we work to care for our bodies and fully inhabit them as prayer. My work of love to my body was accepting it as it is, welcoming its change and faults, and also taking psychiatric medication so that I could function better. It was prayer for me, the journey to find a medication that worked and paying attention to how it was changing me, how it enabled me to better serve as a child of God.

Every trans person I know has been more fully able to love when they live as themselves—when they've had access to transition care, when they've been respected and affirmed. These were not selfish choices, they were self-honoring choices which have shone outward ever since. We can look to the Bible to see name changes at moments of God-glorifying change, and we can also see physical change—the shining face of Moses, the woman who only seeks to grasp the hem of Jesus's clothing to be healed, Paul going temporarily blind, Jesus himself at his transfiguration. We cannot serve God and stay the same.

Romans 12 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice—living. Yes, we are called to be willing to die for love, but also to live for it. Preventing your flourishing because it would be scary, or inconvenient, or misunderstood, or because it may not be where your flourishing lies forever, is not a sacrifice for love. Transition, the way I've seen it in the people around me, is.

I also want to point out that you've done the work—you introduced yourself as a genderfluid Christian. I don't know your story, but I know the years of reconciling saying those words can take. You have the language for yourself. You know who you are. HRT can be a huge first step for some, but it can also be just the next part of that work. It doesn't have to be huge. For some it is simply bringing things more in line with the self they've known all along. Make it a big deal if that feels true (and it is a big deal in terms of bravery and access), but it may become just one of many ways you care for yourself. You don't have to cater to those who see it as drastic or an emergency, those who fearmonger or want you to prove you need it. You've done the work, so trust that you are capable of making this decision.

It is your God-given right to make decisions about your body. As Christians, we believe we are called to serve God with those decisions. But God gave us the reins. God gave us all different skills and stories and paths. It is not easy or obvious and sometimes we circle back or regret or repent. God gave us the capacity for those kinds of stories, too. Be human with God—our God who entered into time and space, who participated in our having-a-body-ness, who reconciled the ways his body held him back and the ways he could serve with it. Jesus's relationship with his gender/body/health is not something we're privy to but from other parts of his life we can assume it was a participation in his time and place—a 1st century Jewish man. In the communities you're a part of, with the resources you have, with the identities you have welcomed, how will you be human with him?

I don't know what healthcare is available to you where you are, but a good doctor can tell you the side effects, refer you to counseling as you make choices, give you dose and timeline options. Even if you don't end up going on HRT, seeking out trans-inclusive healthcare and community is a good choice, and I would recommend learning your options. If you can't stop thinking about this, trust that it's worth taking seriously.

I wish you all the best in finding a church/community—there are people equipped to love all of you, and you deserve to find them. I relate with the nocturnal bit—I know Catholics usually have a Saturday night service, and every so often another kind of church will. Online community can fill gaps and give us other ways of connection as we look for physical communion. I wish I could promise affirming religious spaces in every place, but I can only pray and work for that to someday be the case.

So, to answer my lover's question, the travel time to see a loved one is worth it. The journey to the you more full of love is worth it, and the journey to find a spiritual home is worth it. If we are pilgrims on this earth, may the things in our control be done with love, may our journeys be faithful, may our bodies be Christ's body, trusting in the Love greater than anything we can do. How you will be a steward of God's creation is not something I can answer for you, but I believe in your ability to sow the seeds within you. HRT may be the next part of your creation—you can give yourself some time, talk to some people, sit with the idea, consider how you would handle regret, and don't let me tell you what to do, but ultimately there is only one way to know, and waiting until we're sure is stagnation if it is not an active waiting.

To quote my Easter/TDOV post: Come to life, beloved. God sees you. The first steps out of the tomb may be stumbling, the dawn too bright, but we will meet you in the garden, where you were first created. Bring with you whatever is still bleeding—Jesus believes in you, touches the ache in your ribs. Mistake him for a gardener; let him plant you anew. Look to the wound in his side, see how it births the Church, and continues to until there is room for you. Look through the holes in his hands and see the world you were redeemed for, the self that you have already found or may only imagine. God made the grapes, and Christ stands in the winepress with you. Trample out your wine.

And lastly, to turn the patron saint of receiving sacraments presenting as God calls, even unto death, Joan of Arc's affirmation into a command (and purposely quoting an angel in the process): Be not afraid. You were born to do this.

<3 Johanna

[meraki-yao]

Now I'm curious to know all the "candies" between Nick and Tay 👀 lol I don't ship them but I also find it interesting that some fans really ship real people together and gather evidence or proof of it. If its fine with you to share it pls do 🙏 but if not its also fine :)

Huh...

Actually, sure! I kinda wanted to share some of these at times but again I understand that rps is a complicated subject.

A couple of quick prefaces though:

1, If you’re uncomfortable with the subject, again, please don’t read under the post

2, I don’t have all the candies because I really just view them in passing, so I’m just gonna write/translate the ones I’ve seen, remember and find at least a logical speculation

3, I need to reiterate this in case my position in this gets misunderstood: Me writing about “candies” isn’t because these are MY opinion or things *I* found or *I* believe in them being evidence. I am just a translator and messenger.

4, (this one is gonna sound a little academic lol) Two things I realized when thinking about this “candy eating” culture is that Chinese people have a very difference understanding of platonic/romantic affection/relationships with the Western world, and that they look at the candies with rose-tinted glass. Chinese/Asian people are generally a lot less affectionate with their personal relationships, for example friends wouldn’t say “love you” to each other if they’re just friends, nor would they expand their friend group to the others easily or other stuff. And these people who look for candy go into their “investigation” already with the belief that “they are together”, everything remotely resembling a close relationship will automatically be interpreted as romantic. I thought about it a lot, and honestly among the “candies” I’ve seen, most of them are a matter of interpretation: yes those are things couples will do, but it wouldn’t be weird if friends did it too. So they’re not that seriously or up for further speculation. There is I think only one “candy” that I can’t quite say the same, which I will explain and elaborate on in this post. 

5, Please remember that the people who do this do it in good nature: something I didn’t make clear in my post yesterday, which is on me, is that the fans do want them to be together, but they’re not like… yandere level or something. If they’re just friends the fans won’t be upset or betrayed or anything, they just prefer to see them as romantic. They don’t mean any harm, and they don’t cause any harm because China is physically and digitally too far away for them to actually fuck shit up, and they understand the lines of parasocial relationships: those who met with Taylor during his China trip in December know to, and didn’t bring up this in front of him. They know where to draw the line, and whoever doesn’t and starts becoming a problem gets kicked out of the community. This is meant for fun.

6, Ok Future Meraki here, turns out, there’s a lot to translate, a lot more than I anticipated Jesus Christ and I do want to get this post how within today and make it a reasonable length, so I’m just gonna do two events and the one that I mentioned in 4. If yall want a part 2 let me know.

Ok with that being said, the main event under the cut:

In December they made a whole article about “candies” from December, and to quickly summarise (again noted that all of this is speculation, I didn’t and can’t fact check them, and I’m just a translator) (also this ended up way longer than I anticipated so for photo reference if you can please go to the link of the original article):

Academy Gala:

Nick and Taylor both attended the gala: Since the strike ended up to that point, the two times Nick attends a public event, Taylor’s there too (GQ men of the year and Academy Gala), and for both times he’s wearing Cartier’s Tank Must Watch (remember this watch, I’m gonna elaborate on it later because it is the only candy that even I can’t say it’s a matter of interpretation)

In various pictures of the night’s party that other people took, the boys can be seen together in the background

How the photography worked that night was magazine photographers wandered around the venue and randomly found people to take some relatively candid photos: so people who were walking/sitting/in any way sticking together would be photographed together. So best friends and married couples would be photographed together, which is what happened to Meryl Streep, Greta Gerwig, Saoirse Ronan, and Christopher Nolan, Cillian Murphy and their wives. With that logic, Taylor and Nick were caught by the photographer together TWICE, in clearly different places. Later Korean fans (with the same “candy-searching” mindset) read the time on Taylor’s watch in the photos: one was 8:30, one was 9:50. The implication is that they were together for at least that period of time (nearly 1.5 hours)

In both photos of the boys together, Nick’s elbow is…straight up leaning into Taylor's chest. In a photo with Kaia, Nick’s friend and co-star from Bottoms (Brittany), there’s visible space between Nick and Kaia but none between Nick and Taylor (… okay I’m gonna pop in with my own opinion on the latter one real quick: I really think that one is just Nick being a gentleman)  

During that night, Taylor re-posted an Instagram post from July onto Little Red Book: but the things is in the comment section of the original Instagram post, Taylor teasingly pretends to not know Nick; and according to the posting time and the time calculated in 3, Nick would have been watching him post that to Little Red Book.

Nick got a photo with Taylor’s friend Jay Ellis (Jay and Taylor follow each other on Instagram, and Taylor comments under Jay’s post), even though Nick and Jay don’t seem to have any direct connections. Kaia and Taylor started following each other on Instagram after the event.

While other people who got photos with Taylor posted them, in Taylor’s Instagram Post for the night: He only included his photo with Nick, the rest are all solo portraits of himself. Not only that: he edited the background of the photo so it’s just them, and proceeded to put the photo in the middle of the post.

a bunch of Taylor's good friends, including Taylor’s cousin went to like Nick’s post for the academy gala night. Taylor’s sister Ash shared Taylor’s post to her stories: 2 photos of Taylor himself, and the one photo of Taylor and Nick. Taylor mentioned in a past interview if he had any emotional or relationship (I don’t know which one is the right translation, the original wording is 感情) issues, he would talk to Ash. (please note that I didn’t not and don’t know how to fact-check any of the things mentioned above except for Ash’s Instagram)

Conclusion/ Speculation (okay the academy gala part alone took me 40 minutes what the fuck): I cannot reiterate this enough: THIS IS JUST SPECULATION DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY but under the assumption that Taylor and Nick are a thing, the serious of shenanigans that happened that night, especially with the family and friends stuff in 6,7,8, was interpreted as they announcing it to their personal social circle. AGAIN THIS IS SPECUALTION DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOSULY 

Taylor’s China Trip

On 7th December, Taylor had a photo shoot at the GQ gala venue, but spent the rest of the afternoon taking photos and signing things for fans. Among those, one was the photo of him and Nick from the academy gala just three days ago. He was visibly extra happy and showed off the photo to the crowd, unlike the other photos which he simply gets it, signs it, and then gives it back.

This day was also the start of “Taylor giving Nick/Henry a moustache”: throughout the trip, he drew on four photos of the two of them

(This one is a … really big stretch) among the four, one of them was the GQ magazine shoot, and he first drew the moustache on Nick’s face, giggling “I’ll sign on Nick’s face”, signed his own signature, then just when he was about to give the magazine back he suddenly changed his mind and said “wait wait I wanna do something on my face”, and then drew a crown on his head while muttering “crown prince”. And the thing is… historically, George Villers had a moustache. And then he drew a moustache on Nick and a crown on himself. Also, one of the most popular Chinese RWRB fic on AO3 is called “The King’s Palace”, and the premise is putting Henry in George place as the social climber and the Duke of Buckingham (it is literally George’s character with blonde hair and a different name), and Alex as the crown prince who ascended to the throne and is also utterly infatuated with Henry. So… yeah.

When he drew the fourth photo, which was the piano scene, the fan who asked said “Oh you’re so nice to Nick!” and according to their description (there’s no video), Taylor blushed a little and said “yeaahhhhh” with a big grin

While Taylor was in China people were stirring shit up on Twitter about him, and during the Twitter drama, Nick liked Taylor’s Academy Gala post.

The boys liked the same video on Instagram but from different accounts (a video about a pony in the snow)

During the trip, Taylor was seen wearing a white button-up with blue stripes. Nick has been seen wearing a shirt that looks identical before.

Cartier Watch (aka the one that makes me do a double take)

Taylor used to wear a lot of Cartier watches until he started wearing Tagheuer last July due to a commercial partnership

Nick likes wearing Omega watches. In fact, Henry’s watch in the movie is Nick’s own omega watch. He also has a commercial partnership with Omega.

But then starting last year, both of them were seen wearing matching Cartier’s Tank Must Watches (the silver on with a black surface and a sapphire crown): Taylor can be seen wearing it in the 5th photos of his September post, while Nick can be seen wearing it during the GQ gala, the Academy Gala, in Milan during fan interactions, and last weekend in his TIOY co-star’s Instagram story.

And the thing about this watch is (and here is where I need to reiterate that I’m just translating, I didn’t fact check this) 1, watch is a typical thing to give a lover, and you must be familiar with their wrist size 2, Cartier is a pretty romantic brand 3, the price of this watch is closer to what Taylor’s used to wearing but much cheaper than Omega 4, This specific watch is a popular watch to give a partner/lover, 5, David and Victoria Beckham’s relationship was discovered because paparazzi saw the Cartier watch he gave her and connected dots together

Jesus Christ at this point I should consider getting a part time job in translation

This was fun but this took me so much time, it’s ~2000 words long

Again, all of this was found and speculate for fun, and mean no ill will, and haven’t, and won’t harm the boys, please understand that and don’t take this took seriously. If you find this interesting and want a part two, let me know.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Bored so. Dra characters and if i think theyd be shit parents or not. (Not including people who are canonically parents)

I will reblog this with the sdra2 characters and what i think theyd be like as parents.

Mitch: he'd be an absent father

Kiyoka: i mean. She'd probably do decently enough. She wouldnt be perfect but she wouldnt be awful, either.

Kizuna: it really depends!! If shes a single mother, i think she'd really struggle with it. Both of her parents were bad, but still in her life, and as a single mother... i think she may unintentionally be bad. BUT!!! If she has a good partner, i think she, like kiyoka, could be a decent mother. I think she'd also definitely need to get some sort of therapy before being a mother, just so she can unlearn things that minako taught her.

Ayame: she'd definitely be a good mother! She'd make sure her child has a good balance between everything. 25/25/25/25 for games, excersize, schoolwork, and anything else. She would care a lot.

Kakeru: probably a good dad. I think he'd adopt kids, maybe teenagers, and try his best to make sure theyre happy as can be.

Kanata: like kakeru, i think she'd be adopting. And i think she'd be a good mom. After the good ando and his wife did for her, by adopting her and raising her with care and love, she'd want to do the same for other children out there.

Kinji: part of me is tempted not to include him because of the orphans.... hes actually their dad now. He was willing to kill to keep them safe so... hes at least decent. At most hes a great parent.

Haruhiko: probably decent. Not the best, not the worst.

Satsuki: i mean... i dunno she feels a bit complicated. She was raised in a large family. Her parents basically saw her as something else to help them profit, as they probably did with all of their kids. Almost all of her siblings saw her as competition instead of family. Keisuke was basically acting as her father, because neither of their parents did a proper job raising her. I think she'd have to realize how wrong all of this was before having her own kids-- only then do i think she'd be better than decent. Also i think it'd be best if she only had 2-3 kids because we are NOT repeating what her mother did. 21 KIDS???? JESUS CHRIST

Yamato: from the sounds of everything, Hanzo did a good job raising him. Because of his strong sense of morality, i think he'd be a good father. Not great, but not just decent, either. I think he'd help his kid with a lot of things, but possibly, unintentionally, make his kid worry about living up to expectations.

Mikako: i think she'd be a very caring mother. Not overprotective or a "they can do no wrong!" mother, but she'd care for her kids as if her life depends on it. I think, if there were ever a possibility of her finding out what kokoro did to her, it'd mess her up a bit and she'd worry more about failing as a mother.

Utsuro: ........would he even be present? I dont know. I dont think he'd even want to be a father.

Akane: its easy to imagine her as a mother, but shes gone through hell and back and she's experienced lots of poor treatment. She didnt really have a mother for a lot of her life, because her mother died when she was still young. She never knew her father. I dont think she really had any good parental figures in her life, other than the possibility of another maid or two caring for her when she was just starting out and when she grew up. But so many people have harmed her that... i think she'd be scared of having a child. I think she wouldn't want to bring a child into the world, knowing they could suffer the same hell she did. Knowing how cruel the world is. So, i dont know if she'd be a good or bad mom. I don't think she'd want kids.

Teruya: kojiro set a good example for him! He'd probably be a good/great dad! Bbbbbut theres a chance his kid could end up being terrified at the idea of being the heir to otorimart.

Tsurugi: SHIT FATHER!!! Maybe in a happier timeline, he would be decent. Maybe if given the time to escape the beliefs that his father placed on him, he would be decent. But if we go by the tsurugi seen in sdra2... i just dont think he'd be a good father at all.

Rei: AMAZING MOTHER. LISTEN TO ME. She's smart. She knows that what she experienced as a child was wrong. She would not want her own child to feel as unloved as she did. She was abandoned and had to fend for herself on the streets while she was still young. She would be hesitant on having a child, but she'd be an amazing mom to any offspring she has. I actually have written a fic with her as a mom! it's uh. for the fankidronpa i'm helping write. Here's the link. (it's going to be released in parts bit by bit as the fankidronpa itself actually releases, to expand on a character more :3)

Keisuke: i said it in satsukis portion, but he practically raised her. She was practically his daughter. (Meaning he likely experienced parentification of some sort which is a topic for another time.) But I think he'd actually do pretty good! At least... that's regarding DRA keisuke. SDRA2 Keisuke would not do as well, probably. He'd be decent, still, but after beginning to follow the same beliefs that Tsurugi follows... I don't know how to explain it, but I think he'd fail a bit in certain areas.

Ryutaro and Midori: Honestly? I don't know, with these two. But... I think they'd have to adopt. If they wanted children at all, I think they'd have no choice but to adopt. Why am i including them together?........ Listen they're the only ship i'm going to include in this post. They're their own people away from the ship, yes, but i think it'd be the same either way. The only difference is that I think ryutaro might not want children, and Midori would be worried about adopting a child at all due to the fear that she could die from any sickness at any random time.

Anyways it's 2:08 AM and I am your locally insane dra fan.

[malwaredykes]

I'm so curious to know what your favorite dlc is! And if it's Old World Blues(mine too) then what's your second favorite?

AND which dlc would be Leigh's favorite experience?

i actually picked up honest hearts as the beginning of my Refreshing My Memories Of The DLCs campaign, as its been a hot minute since i last went through them.

But, yeah, old world blues is my favorite! its got its highs and lows, and for sure the quests arent The most fun, but i think its just overall really charming. sure, tonally its a bizarre addition, but thats what makes it work.

i REALLY dont like the dlcs overall though asjkhkjfhsdkj. ive complained before about what the addition of ulysses' plotline does to the games story, which is to say it cheapens it A LOT through unnecessary contrived backstory. ive also complained before about ulysses himself being suuuuch a deeply insufferable instance of Chris Avellone Character which is a shame because he couldve been awesome. i rly dig the whole "many couriers in the mojave are caesar's spies" and as far as ~legion-sympathetic companions~ go i think "ex-legion guy with a long complicated history with caesar, whos disillusioned with pretty much every existing faction, and whos just kinda weird and with experiences far removed from yours" would probably be the best way to do it. i also think jotchua graham cracker is kind of... i dont wanna say a complete disappointment because i Dont mind him being a mormon who went on to be caesar's legate and who then Found Jesus Again, i think thats kind of great and hilarious actually. obviously the way honest hearts frames it is aaaawful but the "mormon -> Outright Genocidal Fascist Leading An Imperial Campaign As In Literally Building An Empire -> born again christian who thinks hes saving everyone around him with his faith in his lord jesus christ may he save you as he saved josh" pipeline kind of rules like. yeah lmao. but aside from that as The Burned Man i just donnnnt like what hes got going on. like first of all thats not really how burn scars work. id get into more detail here wrt post-healing discomfort and scar compression but Anyway. hes just. not what i expected from a guy who got set on fire and then fell down a canyon lmao. he should be Wrecked. the explanation of how he survived is such a cop-out too and honestly the line about surviving because the fire within him etc fully deserves to be on etsy products because it absolutely is some This Is My Fight Song bullshit like its such a meme. idk. the lack of physically disabled characters in fallout has always bothered me a lot, and in this case, like, yeah the scars are disabling, he is disabled, but youd think the Falling Down A Canyon part wouldve permanently affected him too.

ANYWAY enough about that. my second favorite, if one can say that, is dead money. the characters are very likeable... the dlc itself is kind of hellish though. like its just Not Fun. but we get to meet veronica's ex gf AND dean domino and dog/god are awesome.

and as for which one leigh has the most fun in i have to say honest hearts purely because it takes part somewhere really nice. like shes loving the place She Really Needed This. whereas the other dlcs are kind of

[quietwingsinthesky]

In your opinion, is it worth watching Supernatural if you missed the superwholock craze and your only exposure has been meta posts

my darling anon, i’m a supernatural fan, i’m going to say yes. BUT. with caveats. one; depends on the meta you’ve been exposed to, because if you’ve been told by tumblr gifs it’ll be an epic love story between that dude and his angel, i’m so sorry to disappoint you but that’s not what the show is about. but if the meta you’ve gotten is about the actual themes of the show, go right ahead.

(to be clear, like, there’s still stuff to dig into for destiel. i just wouldn’t want you to go in expecting a romcom in a horror story.)

CAVEAT TWO: you gotta understand that supernatural is really like 5 or 6 shows in a trenchcoat building on top of one another. like s1-3 are pretty solidly their own show, cut down early by the writer’s strike and even delineated nicely by being filmed on. film. rather than digitally. s4-5 are their own thing. s1-5 are their own complete arc, and honestly, you can just watch that and have a pretty good time with some genuinely fantastically put together television. and then after that s6 is kinda its own thing, 7-8 too, 9-11, and then 12-15 i just lump together as Bad but im sure someone else would actually classify them by arc or whatever.

okay god we’re putting a cut now im not gonna shut up im sorry

i think more people should watch s1-5 of supernatural. it’s silly, it’s scary, it’s full of fucked up shit and things that will mess you up for life (affectionate). and then i say watch the rest until you don’t enjoy it and then drop it. don’t feel obligated to watch all 15 cause it loses the plot Fast and it also. gets bad. like if you want my rec, i say stick it out till s11 and then if you can stand it, s12 for [SPOILER] coming back to life. but i would never in my life tell anyone to watch s13-15 unless they had literally nothing left to do and a gun to their head. i watched it but im not a good role model.

uhhh what else should you know. oh, yeah, there’s a lot of references to non-con/rape in it, some of them the show takes seriously and some it’ll play for laughs with some 2010s era misogyny. there’s also a lot of moments that, depending on how charitable you feel like being, are either poorly thought out or straight out racist or homophobic. the show does very little to address its misogyny, homophobia, or racism until it gets put down like a dog behind a shed. i’m telling you this to prepare you for it, because i think engaging with the show is still worth something, especially if you take the time to entangle those elements and examine how the writers have used them to justify a world in which two white guys roll into town, kill a scary monster with extrajudicial justice to save the suburban families, and leave.

and then, of course, if u watch it you can also come yell at me about it :3

uhm. but seriously. supernatural is a complicated show. but it’s worth watching. there’s a lot of good in there with the bad. the way it approaches angels and heaven in the early seasons especially is so fucking fascinating, so if you like religious stuff at all, i’d say go in for it. the acting can be. well. the main guys range from ‘holy shit this is stressing me out to watch it’s so good’ to ‘okay’ to ‘jesus fucking christ please get the camera off of him.’ (and if you watch the show, i’ll let you guess which is which lmao.) but a lot of the people who come in to play side characters kill it in their roles. shout out to jdm. there for like 3 episodes purely to fuck me up forever. lifechanging performance, i’m so serious.

tldr: supernatural is genuinely a good show, for a while, and when it ain’t, it’s still fun, and when it stops being that, just put the show down. just keep your expectations in check regarding what the show is telling you it’s about and don’t expect it to be more. (like. feel free to fantasize about what if it Was more, i sure do, but don’t let that cloud your vision on what the show, as it stands, really is about and is trying to say.) and be prepared for the messy shit it’ll hit you with along the way.

and the fandom is pretty neat too, so long as you use the block button liberally <3

[junk-thrillz]

I wanna hear you talk more about Cody because he makes me insane.

Anon, I would LOVE to talk about Cody. He makes me insane too, he's been one of my favorite pnat characters since I first got into the comic (he was my ultimate favorite until Violet shoved him out of that spot a few months later). Putting all of this under a Read More because it got to be a LOT

It's hard to say what his initial appeal for me was. I think I mostly loved his whole theme of masks and actors and mysteries! The school store scene and its surrounding scenes was my favorite part of pnat basically from the moment I first saw it, and I was DELIGHTED to find out that all of these background characters had insane, hidden depth to them. Cody was especially delightful because him being a dhampir is a crazier fucking reveal than even the school store's existence itself, and once that was revealed it was like a layer of his character had been peeled away. Suddenly his status as the nice, responsible boy was turned on its head, revealing an underlying personality that's a million times more jaded and hurt than was ever previously comprehensible and FUCK it was just so!! Good!! I don't think it was ever about him being a monster, I think it was about the reveal and the intrigue.

I've always loved digging into his character. Before Chapter 8, Chapter 5 was the majority of what we had to go off of for his characterization, and what was in Chapter 5 was already a goddamn goldmine of information. There's a reason why Chapter 5 is my favorite pnat chapter (though my favorite page in the whole comic is in Chaper 4 lmao)!

In the centuries-old past of late 2020, your local weirdo Junk was incapable of separating Cody and Violet from each other in aus, analyses, headcanons, etc. They used to be tied for my favorite character, and it was because I was (and still am) fascinated by their dynamic, the way their respective complexes and insecurities and emotional walls cause problems for them... their argument in Chapter 5 was my favorite scene-within-a-scene for a very long time. All this to say that there's a reason I keep bringing up Violet in a post about Cody; it's still really hard for me to consider one without the other. I love the way they're both protectors (knighthood theming goes crazy in this comic), and I love the way they differ so fundamentally in why they're protectors and how they approach that sense of protectiveness. I love the way Cody jumps to revenge during the Hijeff situation, and I love the way Violet counters that with appalled confusion.

God, can we talk about the revenge thing? The way Cody behaves is fascinating. He's very clearly picked up certain behaviors from his dad, but he thinks that makes him some sort of evil rather than understanding that everyone is a product of their environment. Compared to his dad he's just so... fundamentally kind, with his heart in the right place, but he can't see that because he's 12 years old, in a horrible situation with a horrible parent, and a complicated social situation at school and and-

I'm really glad that he has nice things he can cling to. I can't imagine the nightmare it must be to live in that house. He's got fun clothes he can wear at home on the weekend, he gets to go over to Jeff's house, and those might seem like small victories but they are still victories. I really hope he gets out of there soon. Jesus Christ

Oh oh oh, let's talk about fancontent! I'm going to talk about my own stuff, because there are a lot of very old ideas that will probably never see the light of day otherwise. In the post I'm assuming you came from, anon, I mentioned how I'd mischaracterized my way into the right characterization, and by that I mean both my earliest and most recent interpretations of him really played up his cutesy, smiley demeanor. Very anime girl esque vibe, very over exaggerated movements, very 'actor in a play' type energy. I would often come up with au's that would shove him into some sort of magical girl role, often paired with a healthy amount of body horror for the tonal dissonance. It was, of course, also an excuse to put him in cute, fun outfits. To this day I struggle to draw him in normal outfits that don't make him look like the leader of a magical girl. (If you want a funtastic magical girl au that was actually made for me, check out astralibrary's AU over here.) One of my favorite au's I've ever made was one in which Cody was a magical warrior from another world who fell through a portal and ended up in an ordinary, spirit-free Mayview, where he then had to rely on Violet to get him through the day normal-guy-style. Looking back it's one of my favorite au's in part BECAUSE it involves so many shenanigans revolving around Cody trying to be normal and failing miserably. I believe it to be accurate to canon LMAO

I have so much more I could say about him but I think I've hit the point where I can't put my thoughts into words. To wrap it up, here's a compilation of my favorite Cody panels and bits of official art;

^Chapter 8 Page 44!!

^Chapter 5 Page 44!!

^Chapter 5 Page 58!! I love the way the blur makes his ear look pointy!! You can even see his fangs, a bit!!

^Chapter 5 Page 57!! I love Zack's expressions for him so much

^Chapter 5 Page 165!! "So embarassing", he says, as if he isn't VERY invested

^Chapter 5 Page 167!! Top ten panels that permanently altered my brain chemistry

^Chapter 5 Page 283!! This panel made me nauseous the first time I saw it. Kill your dad, Cody

^Chapter 1 Page 33!! A classic. I love his Chapter 1 look a lot. I love how he's climbing on his chair/desk

^I have an emotional attachment to his old cast page photo.

^CHAPTER 5 PAGE 48. This panel inspired the tiger spectral cody au (not my au, if you haven't heard of it before), and thus made me insane

I think I might have hit the image limit. I got carried away. Here are the honorable mention pages

Anyways. Thank you, anon, for giving me an excuse to go absolutely insane about Cody. I did NOT know this post was going to get THIS long, but once I started it was like I couldn't stop LMAO. I hope you enjoy this thought dump, feel free to send in more asks if you want to ask about something specific/want more lovingly crafted Cody content. If I ever manage to upload a fic to Ao3 with Cody in it, it'll be dedicated to you in the author's notes or something LMAO

[alparlaboratories]

Are you perhaps interested in some... Pokefic?

Hello I am here today to be a shitty fic salesman if I may.

Tell me friends, do you like Pokemon? Do you like fics? Do you like fics set in the Pokemon world, more specifically those who take the existing story of a region and expand upon it while adding a whole bunch of shit that (probably) no one asked for but the writer is too off his shits to care?

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, do you like Sinnoh? Some Dawns and Barrys, some Cynthias perhaps? Do you want to experience the story of Platinum from a new perspective now that the remakes disappointed us so greatly?

And, finally… do you like fics that are not only very long (almost a million words long Jesus Christ) but also 100% complete?

In that case, you might be interested in Child of Thorns, my original, cool and sexy Sinnoh adventure fic.

Now, the previous description and accompanying cool-looking cover might have peaked your interest, but you still probably don’t know anything about the fic. Well, here’s a few things that Child of Thorns can offer you:

1) Reasons to read Child of Thorns:

–> Have you ever wondered what Dawn would be like if she were a depressed theater kid who wakes up every day and chooses violence? That’s the protagonist of this story! Her name is Inyssa (Dawn is her last name).

–> Do you like flawed protagonists and coming of age stories? Do you like Pokemon fics where the main characters aren’t 11 years old? Do you like characters with abandonment issues and social anxiety slowly learning to heal over the course of a journey filled with Pokemon, fighting and adventures?

—> Do you like realistic depictions of trauma, mental ilness and complicated family issues without it being overtly grimdark? There’s always gotta be some hope, after all.

–> Have you ever wanted a trainer journey where protagonist and rival travel together, including all the slow burn classics we know and love? What if both of them are bi? What if they’re also super open and affectionate with each other while constantly denying themselves the possibility that they see each other as more than friends?

—> Do you like stories where multiple characters and forces and entities are all struggling for power while those left below must gather together to clear the dark clouds hanging over the horizon?

–> Do you like Pokemon fics where the author fucking loves writing battle scenes while listening to JRPG battle music at full blast and feeling like he’s high on coke? Do you like some good shonen goodness with lots of explosions and pretty lights and cool moves and a protagonist that is utterly terrible at naming attacks and everyone makes fun of her for it?

–> Do you like Cyrus? Team Galactic and its commanders? A Team Galactic who’s not just a bunch of idiots and actually have an understandable motivation? How about Cynthia and her well-intentioned if morally gray personality? There’s lots of that here.

–> How about some cool mythology? Cynthia being Sinnoh’s Lorekeeper and a whole bunch of lore and legends about the lake trio and the humans they used to bond with? What if that started happening again? The answer is in this fic!

Oh shit, look at all these reasons! There’s some more stuff, but I don’t wanna make a grocery list when you could just find it all out for yourself.

Also, I have to ask…. do you like OCs in Pokemon fics? If not…. well, you do you, but if you do, then boy do I have some OCs for you.

2) Cool OCS:

We’ve got Metchi! An ex-Team Galactic grunt who is now determined to oppose both her previous companions and the forces behind Sinnoh’s government as a whole.

She also possesses the fabled cool glowy eyes that all good protagonists must have. If you ask her what said glowy eyes are about, she’ll probably tell you that it’s because she’s trans and that makes her cooler and more anime, but there’s probably something more to it. Read to find out!

We also have Reiko! A league challenger from Kanto who is buff and has a sword she likes to swing around, more often than not to the active detriment of her lofty goals and ideals.

She also has some cool glowiness to her but it’s different from Metchi’s glowiness.

There’s also Percy, Reiko’s boyfriend! If I had to guess he’s probably the richest Kalosian trans man in all of Sinnoh, though unfortunately all that money can’t buy him a way out of his family drama or his inability to not be a bit of an asshole.

Man, those sure are some OCs right there.

3) But don’t take my word for it!

Here’s what readers and reviewers have to say about the story.(Disclaimer: I love all these people and I would and will die for them.)

4) The end or something:

So anyway, if you’re interested in anything of what I’ve listed and if you wanna read a lot of me writing cool battles and political intrigue and a whole bunch of other shit with the cast of Sinnoh and more, feel free to give Child of Thorns a read!!

AO3 (recommended)

Royal Road

FFN

And if you wanna hang out with some pals and see some more CoT art and memes, join us in my discord server! Code is   sHey6Tw  

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 9 TRIVIA:

- charlie clocked "the asset" as wavelength IMMEDIATELY. grizzly and condi thought it was tide at first :]

- charlie reading out his last like 20 rolls and none of them are above a 10 . of these, 6 of them were nat 1s . the curse is so real.

- vyncent doing the sidequest thing at the mechanics shop was intentional and supposed to feel out of place! to make him feel more like a fantasy dnd campaign character instead of a comic book character !!!

- charlie: "im getting so into character playing william now that i am consistently feeling sad and awkward. when doug did the stupid shirts and skins bit i genuinely felt that so deep in my bones"

- bizly: "the fact that you guys just assumed the principal was tide was really cool. i cant wait for you to find out who he actually is. i cant wait to give you guys tides backstory" << HE DOES THIS EVENTUALLY. THERE IS A TIDE BACKSTORY ONESHOT !!!!

- ALSO BIZLY: "i planned on blowing up the base from.the beginning because i felt like i didnt describe it very well and didnt want to retcon anything. oh well, guess its demolition time!" WHICH IS SO FUNNY TO ME

--> on a more serious story note he did actually plan for them to lose the base at some point which is why he was so lax on giving them overpowered cool tools and vehicles at the beginning. because he knew they were gonna lose them soon anyway :]

- grizzly teared up for real after they stopped recorded at the end of the session because he started thinking about "the repurcussions of dakotas actions and how he never thought it would be this bad. this kind of stuff doesnt happen to regular kids and its gonna tear him apart. growing apart from a friend doesnt lead to your home being blown up and your father figure getting hurt. im just so sad thinking about it because guilt is a huge part of my character, its one of his big complications" so yeah i love when players are just as emotional about their characters as i am!!!!!!!!! crying !!!!!

- "is dougs supervillain lair called the dugout" (<< this one got me bc im a guy who likes a good baseball joke)

- dakota doesnt spend a whole lot of time thinking about things too hard which was why he was concentrating so much during school all day. he was thinking about the fact that he tricked doug with the phonecall and what the implications of that were !! i thought that was such a good character moment

- grizzly, about ghostknife: "you guys are perfect for each other"

charlie: "no, dakota. at the end of the day, *we* were the ones that hugged under the sprinklers" << this podcast is so unserious

- bizly is kind of disappointed dakota never made that perception check in the school because there was something he wanted to reveal with that! (you will find out what this is later i promise. it has nothing to do with doug <3)

- asking if they get any post-podcast secrets:

bizly: "i will say... you guys are on new radars. thats all you get"

grizzly, REALLY SUDDENLY AGGRESSIVE FOR NO REASON: "IM GONNA KILL YOU."

6 OF HIS ROLLS WERE NAT 1S. JESUS CHRIST. CHARLIE YOUR ROLLS!!!!!!

bizly disliking the way he described something and deciding to just blow up the fucking base. when ur a gm u can just do that shit <3 slay

oughgh dakota ough i love a fucked up guy filled with guilt. oh my goodness. grizzly i love ur little guy as much as u do <3 literally the guy of all time. i love dakota i want to study him like a bug. the guy ever actually

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

Ok! I'm doing this now!

Beneath the cut is a ramble/rant/essay about why I think every church should have a resident atheist. It's informed by my grew-up-in-Texas, pastor's kid, average ofa 1.5 churches every year by 17, now 20, and deconstructing but not apostatizing, worldview.

Read at the risk of everyone involved, especially me, and most importantly, have fun!

*deep breath* I should first start by explaining what I mean when I say that every church should have a resident atheist. Which means I'll have to define what church is, both biblically and colloquially.

Let's go.

The Bible doesn't really talk about a church until the New Testament. The chronologically earliest mention of it that I'm aware of is Matthew 16:18, wherein Jesus establishes Peter as the rock (that's "foundation" for you normies) upon which He'd build His church. Peter does eventually go on to become a major leader in the Church--but what does that mean?

In the book of Acts, Luke describes some of the history and common activities of the early Church. They meet in houses mainly, or by rivers for baptisms. They're hunted by the law, and their leaders are often slaughtered in horrifying and painful ways. They share everything with each other, and take care of the poor, the orphans, and the widows. When something goes wrong, they gather and pray. They're God's instruments for His miracles, as if it's normal.

In other words, they have very little in common with the Western church, despite our best efforts.

In Romans 12, Paul the Apostle describes the Church as a body with many distinct parts, each with its own function, and Christ as the head. In 1 Corinthians, he explains more about the different functions and spiritual gifts (that's "conditional superpowers"). In Ephesians, he describes what it should look like if Christ is truly our head; and in Colossians, he describes why Christ is the head in the first place.

The Church is also described as Christ's bride in many places--including in the Old Testament (I'm presently too tired to look up any addresses; I plan to do so tomorrow if I can. In short, it just means that He loves and takes care of us, and in return we love and follow Him. Human marriages are supposed to look like this, but when one or both parties are dysfunctional, it falls apart).

All of this, taken together and summarized in one sentence, means that biblically, the capital-C Church is a nation of people who all love Jesus, consider Him the living God, follow Him, and are actively trying to be more like Him. (Think the ABC's of... idk the rest of the phrase, I'm young ok: Admit guilt of sin, Believe that Jesus is Lord, and Commit one's life to Him)

And now... the colloquial definition. *sigh*

If you're on the internet and/or live in the West, you're already familiar with at least one or two depictions of the Church. If you're reading this, it's likely that you've either been some flavor of Christian before, or never even heard until this point that there was a difference between the capital-C Church and a lowercase-c church.

A lowercase-c church is made up of- wait let me start over. Church history is riddled with schisms. It's very complicated, and I don't have a degree in history, so I'll just skip to the end, which is now, where we have a lot of different denominations, except not really because a lot of them are basically the same but they popped up in different places. Also, if you ever go to a church that says they're non-denominational, they're not. Non-denominational is a denomination now.

Anyway, different denominations have different ways in which their church governments function. "But wait," I hear no one saying. "Church governments weren't really as much of a thing in the early church; it was just a bunch of people helping each other be more like Christ, with a few older, married or widowed, virtuous men all taking care of their disputes, like how it used to be with Israel before they demanded a king like the other nations."

Yep.

Anyway each denomination has a different-enough way that they handle their church governments. I don't pretend to know the complex innerworkings of any of them, but I can tell you that a church unit, aka lowercase-c church, is run by one Big Executive Pastor, a Board of Elders, and perhaps a few smaller Pastors (remember in 1 Corinthians where Paul says pastoring is a gift? Yeah that's not a commonly talked-about thing in the Western Church. Over here, a Pastor is a guy or gal who gives sermons every Sunday. Sometimes they might pilfer from the offerings, and very rarely they rape kids. It's great, I have such positive opinions of the Western Church).

*clears throat* So, in short, the colloquial definition of the word "church" generally refers to the building in which a church unit, or lowercase-c church, meets.

And now that we've gone so far off the rails that we've started to circle back, I'll restate my original statement (wowie diction sure has the hots for me this night): I believe that every lowercase-c church should have a resident atheist.

Obviously, an atheist cannot be considered part of the capital-C Church, and thus cannot be considered part of the body nor one of our siblings in the same way; however, it's my fervent belief that it takes all kinds. A little yeast leavens the whole loaf, yes; but that's true no matter who the yeast is.

I mentioned above that some church leadership has been up to some shady business. I promise you, if there was a resident atheist at the International House of Prayer, none of that would have gotten very far. Christians tend to have this uncanny ability to blind themselves to each other's faults and red flags--especially if we're talking about people in leadership positions. Atheists don't tend to have that problem, in my experience. You get someone with integrity and no strings attached, and you've got someone you can trust.

I also think that all these denominations could use a good middling agent. Some of them care way too much about the letter of the law; others don't care nearly enough. If they all had an atheist attendee from the opposite end, the world would be better off, I think.

Anyway that's all my brain has in it for tonight. I hope you enjoyed, and I'm probably gonna cringe at how incomplete this theology is tomorrow.

[halfagone]

I was just rereading Insomniacs Anonymous (which, good stuff 👍👍) and I was just wondering if you've seen Miraculous season 5 yet? And if so, thoughts?

Why thank you~ ✨

And yes! I have seen Miraculous Season 5. You might notice in one of the A/Ns in Insomniacs Anonymous I say that the story won't be following Season 5. Mainly because the story starts somewhere in Season 4 and diverges from canon from there, you know how that goes.

As for Season 5... I think this season made me realize that this genre is not meant for me. Yes, it's superhero media (and I love superhero media; I still need to catch up on Invincible before they release the rest of Season 2), but the genre itself is very different. Like how Captain America: Winter Soldier is action (you could even make an argument that it has aspects of the thriller genre), while She-Hulk is comedy. They're both superhero mediums, but the content and storytelling are completely different.

In general, I have a very complicated relationship with Miraculous Ladybug. I don't read fanfiction for it anymore, and I dropped a lot of the MLB blogs I used to follow.

A lot of my problems aren't even from Season 5 but comes from the show altogether. The characterizations are very inconsistent, and the writers often ignore their own worldbuilding. They'll create hard rules and then backtrack.

I'm not a huge fan of how Thomas Astruc handles the show and some of the characters. Keep in mind, this is the same man that once said Jesus Christ used a Miraculous, before he rescinded the statement when he realizes oh fuck this is a bad idea.

I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that there is so much potential, but at the end of the day, this isn't the genre for it. Their focus is on something else, so I can't judge it based on what genre I want it to be.

It's also a little disappointing because there are so many other cartoons that are limited by their ratings as well but they can do so much more with it. Like, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is rated PG. That movie had depth and character growth and never once lost its charm and humor.

But I know there are those that really enjoy it, and honestly? It makes me really happy. Buggachat has some amazing art; her Bakery "Enemies" AU is an incredible display of love for the show. She also has some great analysis posts about the series, and Season 5, that I would recommend. There was a post she made about the Season 5 finale that made me appreciate it more. There's also frostedpuffs who makes beautiful pieces of art and fanfiction.

I'm never going to criticize anyone that enjoys it. I know what it's like to be interested in a piece of media that gets a lot of contention and discourse. With the rise in popularity with DPxDC, I've seen a lot of posts that gave bad faith interpretations of Danny Phantom because they didn't try to look into the show beyond the tropes they saw and disliked. Hell, just yesterday I saw the most rancid take on a beloved character that had absolutely no depth or nuance.

There are so many times when I'll see these posts and just know they've got it all wrong. Because they don't love the show. Sometimes they know the show, but they don't love it. You know what they say about authors and directors and creators who get their hands on a character they hate- they ruin them. Because they don't love them.

I don't love Miraculous Ladybug. There are parts about the show that I wasn't fond of, and then I'll see analysis posts about how the episode fits into the series as a whole, and you know what: they make sense. I couldn't have thought about it that way, because I simply don't love the show like they do. And I don't have to.

I don't think I'll watch Season 6 when it comes out. I was morbidly curious about Season 5 after the Season 4 finale, but knowing that the studio is hoping to produce 8 season total, I don't think I can commit to that. The show just isn't for me, and it's time I accept that and move on.

I'll still play in my little corner of the playground, but I think otherwise I'll just stand aside and let everyone else play with their toys how they want to.

[screamingay]

started ranting about doctor who to my gf and realized i actually have a lot of opinions (which start off summarizing hbomberguy's takes from the sherlock video but it was kind of a revelation for me) so if u want to hear them ive copypasted and edited them a bit for u guys under the cut <3

so like to set up how bad steven moffat is he explains why doctor who was so bad when moffat was the showrunner in a way ive been trying to articulate for years

basically he's a decent writer who was good at individual episodes that make reference to the doctors history but when it came to actually writing that history and the big events that would become the doctor's history he sucks so so so badly

like in the empty child he was amazing, he prioritized the story of the episode while giving the doctor an air of mystery and references a long and complicated backstory without compromising any charm or humor

but in the very first episode where he had reins on the entire show and its storylines he resorted to just a monologue from the doctor about how cool and special he is and that trend continued the whole time he was in charge. the entire universe suddenly revolved around the doctor

like. chibnall was clearly trying to subvert that by only using brand new aliens during his first season and having extra companions (three of them jesus christ) but he didn't address the heart of the problem and somehow made it even worse. the charm of the doctor was always that they were just a traveler bouncing around the universe and helping people or having fun or whatever

and of course there was always the tragic backstory and the genocide and being the last of his kind and all that but that always came second to the humans he loved!! the first time the master came back in tennant's run it was martha and her family and jack that saved him!! and chibnall tried to do that with yaz but it just didnt feel as impactful bc of how overpowering the master & timeless child plots were (dont even get me started on the timeless child shit retconning the entire history of the show to make the doctor quite literally the most important being in the universe)

moffat on the other hand went all over the place with it and wrote in intergalactic cults deadset on killing the doctor and when he did try to make companions special and important he completely took away their agency in the process

to me clara was a decent companion and had some great moments for me until she turned out to be not real or a metaphor or forgotten or dead or somehow retconned into existing since the show started in 1963 it was all so WEIRD and misses the point of making a companion important. it made her so important she lost her humanity imo

and then there was bill who also died and was mutilated beyond recognition and it just makes me think about how rtd never did that to companions. they were special not because of time magic or destiny or fucked up deaths but because they were just humans. with families. martha got to go back to her family. donna had to forget but she was happy in the end. rose was supposed to live out her life in the parallel universe with her own mortal doctor, and she did, but moffat STILL found a way to bring her back as a metaphor because his desire to deconstruct female companions into concepts and tragedies was just too strong

that's not even getting into what he did to river. or amy...

none of this is to say rtd is perfect of course, i'm really nervous to see how he deals with everything that's been thrown at the show in the past couple decades but considering he plans on staying for a while i really hope he manages to put a better twist on all of it. honestly the thing im most curious about is the special effects.. the show has been leaving very heavily on cg lately but chibnall did introduce a few decent practical effects and puppets so i hope rtd pushes for more of that. im getting off topic tho

that's all i have for now i hope u enjoyed and if u wanna discuss anything pls feel free although that's all the brainpower i have for today come back tomorrow <3

[fipindustries]

how would my past selves react if they saw me today

mid 20's me: FUCK! so it happened in the end...? we actually did it? did it all worked out? is everyone cool with this? did we ruin everything, did we lose everything? are you happy? are you... are you the same person?

me: yup, it all worked out in the end, im am really damn happy with this, it was the best choice we could have made... and yes we changed a little, not on the really important stuff but ive changed a little. but... no more that we would have changed otherwise by just growing up

mid 20's: f-fuck... o-ok... ok fine, [sigh] ok, ok then i guess im fucking doing this

me: you're going to love it

------------------------------------------------

early 20's me: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK? what happened? so that's it, we end up becoming... like that? the sjws won? how many pronouns do we have? what are your "triggers"?

me: omg shut the fuck up, first of all you are being intellectually dishonest, if you really cared about being right you would engage with people smarter than just the dumbest common denominator you find online, second... no, i assure you we are not "like that" you are not even that wrong about most things you just need to fucking chill

early 20's me: i look... better than i expected... uh, are you a femminist?

me: thats a complicated question im not going to get into right now, just... trust me, if i could sit down and explain all this to you you would agree with me... if it makes you feel any better i still think gone home is a really boring game

early 20's me: oh thank god

___________________________________________________________

teen me: (blushing, visibly horny) oh god... oh god, thank god, holy shit, holy fucking shit thank you, jesus christ holy shit thank you

me: yup, take it in buddy, we actually made it real, is happening, these are real

teen me: i... uh... i need some time by myself

-----------------------------------------------------------

kid me: [stands away from me extremely sullen and uncomfortable, refuses to speak]

me: i know, im sorry, this is a lot to take in, im really sorry, youre going to be ok, i promise you are going to be ok, want to see my animations?

kid me: i learned how to animate in power point and paint from a magazine, i did uh... five so far, one of them was about a guy being kidnapped by aliens and being forced to become an alien, i also did one about a guy who turns into a car and i also have an imaginary world where there is this evil company that pretends to be a normal company but is actually about evil scientists and its called-

me: fip industries, yes, i know, i wrote that novel and i made a couple of comics based on that, i can show them to you, want to see them?

kid me: [eagerly nods and walks a little closer]

me: look, this is the art that you are going to create

[maxthesillyy]

alright it’s time 💪 prob gonna go back and redo some things in the explore mode first

ep 3 at the overlook eplore mode: UGH max is actually so devastated 😻

moses lowkey carried this episode /silly

I LOVE THEM AND THEIR DYNAMIC UGH

this hits a lot harder now that i know safis alive here. id be pissed if i was max and moses and found out safi was alive. happy but pissed

“but rather to the present” MOSES THE GOAT

HOW do i always end up choosing the least interesting dialogue choices my first playthrough,,,

the animation here is still so weird…

OH MY GOD???? SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP PUNCHES HIM)????? DAMN OKAY

MAX GUILT 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

this is the more interesting choice,,, but helping him is probably the Right choice. like. story wise. not morally

officially continuing ep4

the starting song being called “i must come clean”

LMFAO SAFI

theyre so awkward

ANOTHER CHLOE POST?

krampus is the new end of the world party

is chloe in a band??

“Hey that’s me! Murderer.” IN THE NOTES LMFAO

soso curious bout safi

max already forgave safi,,,,,,

kitty 💖

STOP THE RINGING

imagining safi seeing max coming back down with dyed hair suddenly

SAFI EVEN WROTE OB THE TO DO LIST,, shes rlly fucked over about this

ohhhh max invaded safis past so safi invaded hers,,

perception,,, oh hey wait this is so cool

LMFAO SAFI

OH FUCK. THIS IS RHE LIVING WORLD. DUH NO SHIT— jesus christ okay so rechange my world view real quick. safis still dead in the other world. damn. okay. my bad yall.

this is so complicated..

these both seem like touchy af subjects. choosing gwen bc at least that one doesnt involve the other girl in any way. maya i think

OHHH i see

i lurve them,,, ive missed their interaction ls

oh we ask both anyways nice

dude she cared a LOT about this book

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS SAFI oh i love that 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

i love safi— i missed her

OH STRAIGHT UP? okay so she was straight up there the entire time this is genuinely so cool

STOP THATS DEFINITELY COMING BACK LATER

LMFAO SAFI I LOVE YOU

ohhhhh i love this waiter! waiter! more max guilt and trauma 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

yasmin lowkey the opposite of joyce. actually lowkey though

OUAGH SAFI I LOVE YOU YOUR SO COOL

WAITER WAITER KEEP THE MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA COMING

“i was the freak. and i was the storm” 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻 but uh. obligatory that was something max and chloe (and warren) made up on the spot, the fact that it worked at all is by total coincidence.

this is amazing this hurts her so much 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

i cant wait to do this in the bay ending

MAYA LORE MAYA LORE

oh was maya her student or not.

i love this

oh my cod,,,,,,

oh fuck gwen

TRUE COLORS!!!!!!!!!))!!!!!!!

oh my cod,,,,,

OH MY COD,,,, i love their dyanmic ohh my cod

SAFI THE ANSWER JS YES???? i have a hard time thinking of a world where max says no.

DONT PHRASE IT LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT MAX??

camera work okay,,

max you know it goes lower than that

WHAT NO MY CAT ugh

damn its sad b empty… OH MOSES 💔

SELFIE— literally who is polaroid max

uh. i think i messed up. i didnt hurry back to the orher timeline immediately LOL lets try that again

this game doesnt give u an option to Not be interested in amanda and/or vinh

MOSES I LOVE YOU

moses saying shes being max-y when shes being secretive

FINDING A CHIMNEY FOR MOSES? okay LMFAO

ohh i didnt even realize she had the pin on her bag

safi and moses <33333

WHAT DOES THE CHIMNEY SAY

what dows the napkin say,,,,,

oh apparently “a full belly does not like studying”

i love safi,,

shes not officially a teacher???? what??

whenever hannah telle’s original max voice shows i get unbelievably happy you have no idea

is this a “THATS RACHELS BRACELET WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING HER BRACELET?!” moment or what. also why is he patting his pocket so often. bro got a gun or what

oh we get 2 see

I WAS JOKING OH MY FUCKING GOD STOP I WAS JOKING I WAS JOKING STOP HOLY SHIT

oh safi called max partner. how r u going to do twenty thousand chloe and safi similarities and not be able to romance her

WHATS GOING ON PUT THE GUN AWAY

LMFAO SAFI I LOVE YOU

scary…

bisexual lighting

odd amount of bg chatter

OHH vortex clubs parallel….. lowkey

..safiii <3

BRO VINH MOVE UR SHADOW IS COVERING THE SCREEN

LMFAO “how did he get away with this!? 😡” random npc my beloved

vinh…

GWEN!!!!!

jesus can we get some music in here

off topic but im so hyped for rhe nightmare sequence. i feel like we have so much left,, ep5 is gonna be intense

GWEN NO….. WAIT SAFI WHATS GOING ON

eek i love these two

don’t make me choose FUCKKK

she really looks so fucking worried about it UGHHHHHH

uhm. sorry why is vinh’s choice represented as the creepy krampus with red eyes.

eughhhhhh okay as herself

EEK EEK EEK EEK EEK

😻😻😻😻

man FUCK lucas

“i was a child. what was your excuse?” TOP TEN LIS QUOTES SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

random close up of amanda going 😶

thank god he doesn’t have a gun rn

HOORAYYY

okay STOP. max and safi are about to celebrate rn. something fucked up is going to happen. i know it. in my bones. and also. my media literacy.

LITERALLY TWO SECONDS LATER UGH

i don’t want safi OR lucas to have a gun

MAX DREW??????? SANTA KRAMPUS YAOI?????????????????

“Hope you dont mind. Not like you have much of a choice.” damn okay straight up

whys bro just 🧍ing there

SCARY WHAT RHE FUCK

why is. the camera just floating in front of the. well. camera

WHAT RHE FUC K???? OH OH OH SAFI HOLY SHIT

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT 😖😖😖😖😖

HOLY SHIT???

WHAT RHE FUCK

OH!!!!! STRAIGHT UP))??????? BOTH OF THEM???????? WHAT IS REAL?????

OH. MY. RUCKING. GOD. I KNEW SAFI SHOULDNT HAVE HAD A GUN. ‼️

DONT DO THIS TO ME

RACHEL CODED

dont do this to me vs youll regret everything…

safi,,,,,,, </3

NOSE BLEED

THIS GOES SO FUCKING HARS OHHH My gOD OH MY GOD OHHH MY GOD THE STORM INSYESD OF THE MUSIC

I CLEARLY CANT TALK SAFI DOWN BUR?? ORHERWISE SOMEONE IS PROBABLY GONNA GETSHOT????

MMMM I THINK MAX WOULD TRY TO TALK HER DOWN

aw the moses thing…

WHAT RHE HELL????

WHAT RHE HELLL RHE TUFK THE HSJDGGEFEGGRGRG

OKAY SO BOTH WAYS FUCK UP RIGHT???? I CANT APPRECIATE THE MAX GUILT AND TRAUMA RIGHT NOW

oh!!!!! just ends there!!!! ok!!!! so im obviouslyy looping ep4 and 5 together today!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont even know what photo she jumped into. and shes holding onto safi.

okay. like. idk the moments of reflection are so hard to naturally come by

CHAT I AM SO EXCITED AND DREADFUL

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you 

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests 

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic 

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village 

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no 

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point 

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it 

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion 

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty 

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait 

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise 

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex 

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice 

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 

having a good time 

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together 

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent 

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know 

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode 

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure 

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble 

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

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