#i love the relationship we got going at the moment

[bunny-jpeg]

belonging

lewis hamilton

tags: smut/pwp, curvy!reader, dirty talk, (slight) jealousy, doggy style, established relationship, big chest & wide hips, praise, fashion & clothing

a/n: lewis hamilton is so pretty what the fuck

you weren't the most fashionable person. despite your degree in design and your eye for it, you got pleasure in dressing others up. and lewis could understand that, but still tried to help you experiment a little more with style.

"you make everyone look good, love. time you look good as well." he chuckled before he kissed you on the lips.

"i'm not a barbie doll, honey." you giggled when he tried to egg you on to try one more outfit.

"no, of course not! the blond piece of plastic cannot compare to you." he leaned in to kiss you on the lips. you leaned in to him and he held your rounded face for a moment, "one more, and then we can go home." and while he was a guiding hand, nothing could prepare him for the outfit you chose while he was testing with ferrari.

it was nothing over the top. but simplicity sometimes meant good. and with the dress that stopped at your mid-thigh in a dazzling lilac colour and made of a fabric that held to your curves perfectly. especially your breasts, which made lewis do a double take.

his often tired lover who spent so many hours in your little 'workshop', dressed in over sized t-shirts and bigger hoodies, to see something so close to your body made him tense up for a moment. his dark eyes held shock as he admired you.

you looked around for a moment before you took off your dark sunglasses and tapped the arm of them against your soft full bottom lip. your gaze darted around to see is you could spot your partner. when you did see him, you weren't paying any attention to the couple of lingering stares at you. you waved at lewis and quickly went over to him. he could feel the pounding in your chest before he went met you with open arms.

he felt his heartbeat skin when he got armfuls of you. you looked into his eyes and smiled before you kissed him. your kiss tasted like artificial peach and he loved it.

what he didn't like was how a few engineers and assistants took a good look at you. lewis wrapped an arm around your middle to hold you closer. he simply flashed you a winner's smile and asked, "where did you get this?"

you leaned back a little and replied, "well, i took some advice from you and put it together with some fabric i had leftover. the one from the other dress i made for that client. i thought the colour was nice."

"well, it looks amazing on you." he said with total and utter affection for you. he then caught a glimpse of a worker, but their gaze was taken from you when lewis caught them. lewis looked back to you and kissed you on the lips, "go get seated, we're going to start soon." except part of him wished you had a neon sign that said,

"my boyfriend is sir lewis hamilton, do not touch!"

lewis was not possessive by any means! he trusted and loved you, there was no need more something petty like possession. he just didn't like you being mentally undressed by others. you kissed him once more before he watched you walk off to where you needed to go for the practice. he clenched his hands in his red gloves for a moment and got it together. it was time to drive.

it felt like days had passed by the time he got another grasp of you. and somehow after only about three hours of testing, you had became more beautiful. when you kissed him, you simply lit up. and in turn you lit him up. and that light shined through an excellent training. it lasted until you both got back to the rented apartment for the visit.

once in private, your beloved lewis was more vocal along with his hands on your hips as he pressed against you. his kisses grew needy, he yearned for his lovely lady's perfect body.

he caught your gaze on him, doing more than just observing as you licked your lips. he said to you softly, "like what you see, gorgeous?" then started to take off his t-shirt.

"you worry about people staring at me, meanwhile you look like the finest statue the greeks could ever make!" lewis laughed and you continued, "fuck, you look better than that. you look perfect." you reached out for him and you two kissed once more.

you were soon chest to chest as he admired you, "and you look beautiful as well. make anyone jealous." he chuckled lightly, "beautiful and smart. perfect."

your placed a hand on his chest before he turned with you in his arms and led you towards the bedroom. you got up onto the bed once you were close enough and lewis only crowded your space. his hands on the fabric of your dress, but he yearned for what was underneath.

"i want you." he said with total conviction. he laid you out on the bed and touched you with careful hands. he felt his pulse pick up, "i want all of ferrari to know you are mine. the woman who keeps this engine running." his cock twitched in his pants as he undid his belt slowly.

you helped him out of his clothes and soon after you were both naked. your pretty dress thrown over top of his blue jeans. you pressed against him and the kisses intensified. you moaned against his lips and felt the shudder of want through you. it only grew in heat when lewis got you onto your stomach with your hips raised to meet his hard cock. you let out a small noise from the anticipation of sex with him.

"all to myself. you know i love you deeply. i trust you, but knowing i can have you and none of those engineers can does get me going. especially when you look so good on the track. i can't get enough of you. you have no idea what you've done to me." his words grew the heat between you two as he rubbed his hard cock up against your behind, "i love you."

"and i love you, honey." you said before you moaned. there was a moment of tension then you relaxed to accept all of him. you let out another sweet moan that made lewis feel pleasure rush through him as he started to move again you.

he leaned up against you as he rutted up against you. the angle let him hit all the right spots. he could feel the pleasure on the tip of his tongue like unspoken words. "look at you." he said softly as he moved. the movements plus his hands on your wider hips, the flesh of your ass bounced with each thrust. he loved it, he loved you. remnants of your perfume clouded his head as he kissed your shoulder, "as much as i'd love a million photos in every angle of you. i guess i'll just have to take mental ones."

you squirmed, "i didn't know that you liked it all that much. i just put it together, i would've put more time into it if i had known" you moaned into the pillow you held on tightly to and arched your back a little more.

"i love it. you look stunning." he let out a small goran as his pace quickened. you were well aware of your curves and to hear them so thoroughly praised made your cheeks hot.

you replied, "maybe i should make another dress. let you pick out the fabric, i think i'd make the back dip a little bit more." you grew warmer, "it'll let you touch my skin when you hold my back."

"i'd love that. i want to watch you work, you always get these lines right between your eyebrows. it's sweet." he laughed as his hips worked against your ass. the movements continued, his breathing was heavy from the exertion of his thrusts. the pleasure was a comfortable warmth in his body. it was a steady pounding of his heart while sweat dampened his tattooed back.

he loved you, the feeling of you. his words were filthy as he said to you, "from the moment i saw you, i knew we'd be together for a long time. you are mine and i am yours." he exhaled deeply, "have never tasted, felt, loved, fucked anyone quite like you. being with you is everything i crave. it doesn't hurt that others are jealous of what i have by my side. you." his words were like honey on his soul as you felt the pleasure course through your body. aided by his words.

the temperature rose and you could feel the burn of heat high on your cheeks while lewis continued his rough movements against you. he leaned over you, his core tightened as pleasure built up in his sweaty body. he wanted to make you feel what he saw every day. the most beautiful in the world.

you held on tightly and let the feeling wash over you. you loved the feeling even as your thighs quivered, your heart was racing and your head felt a rush. even after all the times you were intimate, it felt better each time. it was an experience that built every time you were intimate.

"lewis." you moaned. your hips shifted and you swore into the covers. you licked the dryness away from your lips after your gloss stained the pillowcase.

lewis was encouraged by your airy moans. his movements were quick, his broad hands on your plush hips. you felt amazing, your cunt took him perfectly as he moved at a steady yet quick pace. he couldn't help himself, you simply felt too amazing.

there was a softness to you that only turned him on further. curves that made him excited, breasts that made his throat dry, soft cheeks that made his cock twitch in his pants with a want to finish across them. the want he had for you was undeniable!

"fuck, honey." you moaned loudly. your toes curled as the pleasure started to reach its peak. you shakily exhaled.

"next time, i want to look at you while you finish. i want to see that beautiful face as i ruin you." and you came from his erotic words.

"yes, yes! fuck!" you near yelled as the fire of lust reached its peak and you came around his cock. which in turn made him pick up the pace to reach his own climax. lewis moaned a little louder and he gave it a few more thrusts before he finished inside of you with a tension in his body. he continued to work your body through his orgasm and enjoyed the feeling of you around his length.

his head swam as he slowed to a stop, and he panted heavily. he leaned in to kiss you on the back, he said softly, "i love you."

"and i love you." he replied before you both laid out in the bed. the two of you kissed once more, you held his face and felt his affection warm you while on top of the covers.

eventually he pulled away, hi brown eyes gazed into yours. his breathing heavy as he asked, "can i have a little bit if input when you make another drss for yourself. there are some things i'd love to see you in."

"of course. but only if it can have pockets too." you poked him on the chest, "i need pockets." your smiled was small, blissed out around the edges.

"of course, beautiful. of course." <3

[imagine-it-was-us]

where we land || Lando Norris

Inspiration: Ed Sheeran where we land

Author's note: These are getting out of hand. Started as the creative outlet and ended as sleepless nights where you can't go to bed until you let our mind bleed out on the keyboard. Ed Sheeran and his music will always have a special place in my heart. And this particular song makes me miss the relationship I never had. So enjoy, I am really proud of this one. Hopefully you will find it bearable.

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: none, just angst.

Summary: do I love you? do I hate you? || I can't make up my mind || so let's free fall (and part ways for the year I guess??) and see where we land.

Word count: 6.8k+

“Lando, this isn’t working”, she sighed. It was obvious that this short sentence took every last bit of energy she had. After this, there was nothing left – no emotions, no desire to fight, just nothing. A blank expression followed.

He looked up from his computer, unphased. 

“What’s not working?” 

“Us.” 

The mood slightly shifted, yet nothing too shocking. It felt like this conversation was overdone way too many times. They have been here before. That's why he didn’t even take a second to think about what sparked this conversation. It felt like it was a casual chat between an old married couple. 

“Yeah,” Lando muttered, exhaling sharply. “Let’s take a break. We’ll make up anyway.”

That was it. No argument, no hesitation. Like it was routine. Like she had just told him she was stepping out for a moment, and he expected her to come back.

When you think about it, it was devastating. The level of indifference was what hurt the most.

They had known each other their whole lives – friends by proximity before choice. Their families lived in the same neighborhood, close enough that their bond felt inevitable. Even as kids, they were opposites. He was the reckless daredevil, climbing trees and riding his bike at full speed down the steepest roads, while she was the quiet dreamer, lying on the grass for hours, lost in her thoughts. But somehow, they worked. They always had.

As they grew up, their lives took different directions, but they never drifted too far. When Lando got into karting, and later, into the high-stakes world of racing, she wasn’t his biggest supporter in the traditional sense. She didn’t attend every event or cheer the loudest. But she cared. She always asked how he was feeling, if he was okay. She avoided getting too involved, not because she didn’t believe in him or was not interested, but because she couldn’t shake the fear of what could happen. The crashes, the risks, the reality of what came with high-speed racing. Maybe that fear had even shaped her, pushed her toward a career where she could save the ones who weren’t as lucky. And yet, no matter how different their paths became, they had always made time for each other.

Then came that one Christmas. The night everything changed. He was on the brink of signing with McLaren, and she had just over a year of school left, set on studying medicine, becoming a paramedic. They spent the whole evening talking – about dreams, about the future, about everything. And the one constant in all their scenarios? Each other. They didn’t officially get together until months later, when the butterflies finally settled in. What started as something gentle and fragile grew into something more. Something that should have been unbreakable.

But it wasn’t.

Between her relentless studying and his deep dive into the world of Formula 1, the distance between them grew. The small sacrifices they used to make for each other became harder. At first, they convinced themselves it was just a rough patch. They had fallen in love as teenagers, blindly, without knowing what love truly required. Clashes were inevitable, but they always told themselves it was just temporary. That love would always outweigh the tension.

Until it didn’t.

The fights became more than just stress-fueled bickering. Trust started to crack. The rumors, the online hate she received for simply existing in his world, the missed races, the missed plans, the days of unanswered calls. The moments of doubt that neither of them wanted to admit were growing stronger.

They had tried. God, they had tried.

The guilt would always swing between them like a pendulum – one of them messing up, the other one forgiving too easily, hoping that this time would be different. And when it wasn’t, they’d take a step back, hoping the distance would fix what being together couldn’t. Then, like clockwork, one of them would cave. One apology, one touch, one whispered „I miss you“ would pull them back in.

The boat had been rocking for years. But at least before, there had still been waves. Now, sitting in their Monaco home, she wasn’t sure if they had finally reached the calm, or if they had simply drifted so far apart that the water didn’t even touch them anymore.

And that was worse than all the fights combined.

“That’s it?”

He lifted a shoulder in an infuriating half-shrug. “What do you want me to say? We take a break, we come back. It’s what we do.”

“That’s exactly the problem, Lando. I don’t want to pause on this empty shell we still call the relationship. I just don’t think I can.” 

Deep down, words coming out of her hurt her. Yet she was just so tired of this game, then at the end there was no happy ending.

Lando exhaled, closing his laptop and putting it away, jaw clenched. Maybe he thought she was being dramatic. Maybe he was just waiting for the inevitable moment when she’d take it back.

But she wouldn’t, not this time. She just stood up from her end of the couch and exhaled. 

“It will take me a couple of days to gather everything I own from this apartment. I will do it once you leave for Las Vegas, so I won’t disturb your calm before the GP. I will just grab my essentials for now,” she said like she was reciting a groceries list. 

Lando didn’t respond right away. He just sat there, eyes fixed on the coffee table like it held all the answers he couldn’t find in her face. Maybe he was searching for something to say – some magic combination of words that would break the cycle, that would make this easier. But there was nothing left to say.

Finally, he nodded. “Okay.”

She felt her stomach twist. Part of her had wanted him to fight – really fight – for this, for them. But wasn’t that the whole point? They were tired. Exhausted. Running on empty, pretending they had more to give when they didn’t.

She swallowed, shifting on her feet. “I think we should do it properly this time.”

His eyes flicked up to hers, guarded. “What do you mean?”

“No breaks. No texts, no calls, no checking in. Not even a happy birthday or Merry Christmas.” The words came out steady, even though her heart was hammering against her ribs. “We give it at least a year. If we’re happier – truly happier – then we’ll know. We’ll let it go for good.”

Lando stood up, facing her. “And if we’re not?”

She exhaled, forcing a small, tired smile. “Then we’ll see where we land.”

He let out a breath, running a hand down his face. For a moment, he just studied her, like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. Like maybe, deep down, some part of him was realizing that this was the last time he’d get to see her like this. Here. His.

Finally, he gave a slow nod. “Alright,” he murmured. “One year.”

One year to figure out if this was really love, or just a bad habit neither of them knew how to break. One year to see if they could be whole without each other. Or if, after everything, they still made sense together.

She was about to turn toward the bedroom, ready to start packing, but he moved first. His arms wound around her, and she didn’t hesitate before wrapping hers around him just as tightly.

And that was what made it hurt the most. Because after six years give or take, after all the fights and make-ups and everything in between, this was still the safest place each of them had ever known. His heartbeat against her ear. Her scent wrapping around him like home. The way neither of them wanted to be the first to let go.

But they had to. So, after one long, lingering moment, she forced herself to step back.

Lando’s arms fell away slowly, reluctantly, like he was holding onto the very last seconds of whatever this was.

And just like that, they let go. Not with a bang, not with a fight. Just a quiet understanding that, for the first time in years, it was time to stop holding on.

______

Remember the “No Merry Christmas” part? Well, that was their first slip up. 

At first, no one questioned it. 

When they said their goodbyes, when she packed up the last of her things, when they let go without a fight – no one questioned it. Not their friends. Not their families. Not the people who had known them as a unit for years.

Because this was just how they were. Messy. Cyclical. A little dramatic but never final. Everyone assumed that, in a few weeks, they’d find their way back – like they always did.

Yet red flags were being waved when she showed up on your parents doorstep and asked them to let you crash at theirs for the time being. 

And when the world around you was lighting up, getting ready for the most wonderful time of the year, she was really feeling dead inside. That was when the questions started.

As she had to find a new job outside Monaco, she landed in the local hospital, in her parents' area. Her new coworkers, who knew her family, would try the small talk, asking how he was doing as the season went to the end. Sometimes even her patients would recognize her and ask her about F1 and her used-to-be boyfriend. A friend, who you haven’t talked to for weeks, would bring an article and ask for you to comment on it. It was even from her own aunt – the one she only ever saw at Christmas– who asked, completely oblivious, “What size are Lando’s feet again? I want to knit him those socks I promised last year.”

And just like that, he was everywhere. Like an echo of a life she wasn’t living anymore. Like a mistake she wasn’t sure she had actually made.

Because wasn’t that what everyone kept implying? That they had been stupid for doing this? That this break – this “proper” break, this one-year promise – was just a long, drawn-out way of making them both miserable?

And if so—was Lando feeling it, too?

Was he being ambushed with casual mentions of her in conversations that had nothing to do with her? Did he hear her name in places he wasn’t expecting it? Did it catch him off guard, did it sting, did it make him wonder if they had just ruined something they were always meant to fix?

She stopped herself from wondering. After all, she could dwell in these thoughts forever and never move forward. She knew she had to. This break was not only about figuring them out. It was also about figuring who you are outside the relationship you grew up in. 

So for now, she did the thing she knew the best – threw herself into work. That’s why when Christmas Eve rolled around, she had her life line to escape hushed voices and petty looks, asking about her life. Also, Norris' family would always eventually roll around for a quick cup of tea – it was a tradition started by their parents even before the both of them were around so she for sure believed that them being on break would not stop their parents from interacting. Never did on any other break. 

She did what she always did when the walls started closing in. She grabbed her coat, threw a scarf over her scrubs, and braced herself for the short, freezing walk to her car. A twelve-hour shift awaited her, filled with last-minute holiday accidents and bad luck, and she was oddly grateful for it. A perfect excuse to be anywhere but here.

She said her goodbyes, wished everyone a Merry Christmas, and stepped outside.

And nearly crashed straight into Adam Norris. Her hand shot out to steady herself, boots skidding slightly against the icy porch. “Oh – I’m so sorry,” she blurted, barely catching her breath before –

Her stomach dropped.

Because it wasn’t just Adam. It was all of them.

His entire family stood there, wrapped in warm coats and holiday cheer. And Lando – of course, Lando – was in the middle of it all, hands stuffed into his pockets, gaze locked onto her like he hadn’t been expecting this either.

She barely let her eyes flick to his before looking away, heart hammering.

“You’re always in such a rush, aren’t you?” Cisca asked, her voice as warm as ever.

“Yes, I’m working tonight, unfortunately,” she added, making them hear what she wanted rather than expressing her feelings. 

“Oh, your mother told me about the shifts you’re taking and they still make you work during the day like this? That’s so sad,” she said, empathetically. His mother was always the angel and they had a great connection before this break. 

She gave a light shrug, desperate to keep the conversation surface-level. “What can I say? Gotta work if I ever want to give my parents a break.”

It was the lie she’d been telling everyone. That she was saving for a down payment. That the extra shifts were a means to an end. A practical excuse for why she spent more time at the hospital than at home, drowning herself in work instead of drowning in the what-ifs of a relationship that no longer existed.

But it didn’t matter. Not when she could feel Lando’s eyes on her. Not when it took every ounce of strength to keep her own from slipping back to his.

“Well,” Cisca sighed, stepping aside to give her space to pass. “Stay safe, darling.”

She hesitated. A half-second, barely noticeable. And then, before she could stop herself, the words slipped out.

“Merry Christmas, fam.”

The moment she said it, she regretted it. The slip. The weakness. The betrayal of her own rules.

And then there was Lando.

For the first time since she stepped outside, she met his gaze. A brief, fleeting glance. A quiet acknowledgment of everything that still lingered between them.

She barely made a sound when she whispered, “Merry Christmas, Lando.”

Then, before she could give herself time to second-guess it, she turned on her heel and walked away, pulling her coat tighter around herself.

She didn’t wait for an answer. She couldn’t. Because she knew if she did – if she heard his voice, his words – her carefully built defenses would crumble.

But as she made it to her car, something soft, something broken, floated through the cold December air.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

And somehow this moment stung Lando more than anything else ever had.

______

Spring was warming up the air, shaking winter from the trees and stretching daylight just a little longer each evening. She had always hated this time of year – hated the way it pressed against her chest, thick with stress and expectations. First, it was the exams, the all-nighters, the anxious flipping of textbooks. Then, later, it became Lando’s schedule. The season kicking off, his world spinning faster while she tried to hold onto the edges.

This year, though, spring was something different. Unusually dull. Unnaturally calm. But it was for her to figure out if it was the kind of calm that comes before or after the storm.

By all accounts, she was doing well. She was thriving at work, getting used to the rhythm of long shifts and fast decisions. She had found herself a new apartment – small, but cozy, a space that was hers and hers alone. She even picked up jogging and pilates, things she used to roll her eyes at but now clung to as some kind of personal victory.

Some days were perfect. She would wake up, stretch in the morning light, sip her coffee in silence, and almost – almost – forget why her life looked the way it did now.

Emphasis on ‘almost.’

Because when you spend six years wrapped around someone else’s life, untangling yourself doesn’t happen overnight. Their friend groups overlapped too much, their histories bled into too many places, and avoiding him completely was impossible.

They had been careful, though. Calculated. She planned around GP weekends, making sure to show up to gatherings when he was halfway across the world, and skipping the ones when she knew he’d be visiting the home town. It worked. Until, inevitably, it didn’t.

That night, she hadn’t planned to see him. It was supposed to be a quiet evening. Just a handful of friends, drinks, some music humming in the background. Nothing major. Nothing painful. But then, sometime between her second glass of wine and the last lazy notes of an old song drifting through the air, she felt it.

That awareness. The way her skin prickled before she even turned her head. He was there.

Just across the room, laughing at something, his head thrown back, the sound of it familiar enough to sink straight into her bones. He looked... good. Relaxed in a way she hadn’t seen in a long time. And for a second she let herself wonder if she looked that way too. If he saw her and thought, ‘She’s okay. She’s moved on. She doesn’t miss me the way I miss her’.

It was unbearable. The way it made her stomach twist, the way it pulled something raw inside of her. It wasn’t just the sight of him, it wasn't just the proof that he still existed outside of her world – it was the realization that she still felt it. That she still felt everything.

So she left. Quietly. Without goodbyes. Without looking back.

By the time she got home, she was already peeling off her jacket, kicking off her shoes, slipping beneath the covers in the dark. Sleep would fix it. Sleep would dull the sharp edges, smooth over the crack in her chest.

Morning light bled through the thin curtains, painting soft streaks across the room. She stretched, rubbing at her puffy eyes, the lingering ache of last night still pressing heavy against her ribs.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he got to be fine. That he got to laugh and exist so easily in a world without her while she sat here, caught in the ghost of something that refused to fade.

Yet there was a surprise waiting for her when she picked up the phone.

A missed call at 3:48 am. And a voice note from him on her Instagram DMs followed.

Then, for just a second, something fluttered in her chest. A spark of something she didn’t want to name. Because maybe he had seen her last night. Maybe he had felt it too.

But reality was quick to sink its claws in, dragging her back down. No. This wasn’t that. This was probably drunk Lando. This was ‘bad decisions wrapped in nostalgia and gin’ Lando.

She should ignore it. But her thumb was already moving before her brain could stop her.

Click. Play.

“Heeeeeeeyyyy pretty girl.”

She sucked in a sharp breath.

He was drunk. The kind of drunk where words ran together, loose and careless.

“I’m so sorry for the call, I realized that you are probably working or worse – asleep – and just canceled it. Like I know that you would stab anyone who would dare to wake you up if it’s not important, and since I guess I no longer am, I—”

A hiccup. A pause.

Her stomach twisted. She should stop listening. But she didn’t.

“I just don’t know… Whenever I see you, you seem so fine, so moved on… And then there’s me, stuck between fake and being down. And you know what I do when I feel down? I go to the bar, the club. You name it. I scan a crowd looking for you. I never find you, because duh, why should I? You only went to these places for me.”

Her chest tightened. She had hated clubs with all her heart. The noise, the people, the way she never really fit into that world. She only went because he loved it. Because Lando loved the music, the energy, the thrill of it. And yet… after all this time, he was still looking for her in places she never truly belonged.

“So, I get the random girl and imagine it is you. I imagine you still care, laugh at my pick-up lines, take me home with you. I even moaned your name one time and the lady was pissed off, I got smacked, lol. Could you imagine…”

A sharp exhale left her lips.

God, he was an idiot. Saying things he had no business saying. Telling her things she shouldn’t know. She wanted to be mad. To roll her eyes, to call him out for being reckless, for dragging her back into the mess they were supposed to be untangling.

But she wasn’t mad. She was something else entirely. Because there, tangled between the words and the drunken confessions, was something she wasn’t ready to face. Regret. And worse – feelings that she thought was lost during all this. The kind that made the edges of her world blur for a moment, tilting just enough to make her wonder…

What if?

And then – 

“I should have fought for you, you know? When you asked for this break. I was an idiot for letting you walk out the door so easily. Screw the ‘let’s see where we land’ thing. I already know where I’m landing. Now the ball is in your corner or whatever. So yeah, good chat. See you around.”

Silence.

Her heart was pounding.

She stared at the screen, her mind racing.

This wasn’t just some drunk butt dial. This wasn’t some half-hearted message he would brush off in the morning.

This was a line drawn in the sand. This was him saying, ‘I know what I want. Do you?’

She swallowed, her hands shaking as she locked her phone and pressed it to her chest.

She needed to breathe. She needed to think.

But later that day, when she opened the chat to replay the message and dissect every word it was gone.

Not even a trace of it ever existing.

And just like that, she was left with nothing but the weight of what could have been.

__________

She didn’t want to be here.

That much had been clear from the second she stepped onto Silverstone’s pavement, a familiar hum in the air, the smell of petrol and rubber hitting her in a way that made her stomach twist.

It wasn’t just the track – it was everything it represented. The years spent here, the routines, the nerves. The way she used to pace behind the pit wall, hands shoved into the pockets of a McLaren hoodie that wasn’t even hers, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched Lando push the car to its limits.

It was muscle memory to be here, and yet, it had never felt more foreign.

She had almost backed out, too, with the kind of last-minute excuse that wouldn’t fool her mother but might have been enough to let her go on with her weekend and avoid the inevitable. But the tickets had been a Christmas gift – from the Norris family, as per usual – and her parents had been so excited.

“It’s been too long since we all did something like this together. You used to go with him all the time while we were watching from the sidelines. Now we can switch places, you will be fine” her dad had said. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Fun. Right.

So she had caved. And when it was time to leave for Sunday GP, she still wanted to blend in the crowd. She knew there would be plenty of McLaren fans, so if you can’t beat them – join them. She took out a random t-shirt that was probably used way too many times. It was only after pulling it over her head that she realized which one it was.

His.

One he had left in her drawer ages ago, one she had slept in more nights than she could count.

It smelled like fabric softener instead of him now. That should have been a relief. It wasn’t. For a split second, she had almost taken it off. Almost buried it back in the drawer like it was some kind of cursed relic. But then she exhaled. It’s just a shirt. No one will even notice.

And at first she was perfectly flying over the radar. Her parents visited the paddock, while she stayed behind, blending in the crowds. She had perfected the art of blending in – cheering when appropriate, clapping at the right moments, never once letting her gaze wander too long in the direction of the papaya garage. And it was working wonders. 

But then she ran into Emma. The fellow paramedic, who she had known both from the medical, and sports field, as she was a couple years older and worked with Papaya for a few years. One second, she was keeping her head down, avoiding anything orange, and the next, she was being pulled into McLaren hospitality because “It’s dead quiet before the race, and you have a paddock pass, so why not?”

She should have said no. Instead, she sat with Emma, catching up over bad coffee, pretending she wasn’t hyperaware of exactly where she was. Yet every time footsteps neared, her body tensed, anticipation coiling in her stomach like a reflex she hadn’t quite unlearned. It wasn’t that she couldn’t see him – it had happened before, and they had managed to be civil, distant in a way that felt almost rehearsed. But being here, surrounded by everything that made Lando Lando, made her feel too exposed.

Don’t get it wrong – she would always be a fan. Even if life took them further apart, even if one day they became nothing more than a distant memory, she would still admire him. The raw talent, the skill, the way he could take a car and make it his – that would never change. 

But it had been eight months, and for the first time, she was starting to find a rhythm outside of them. A clarity she hadn’t thought possible. And yet. Eight months, and still, his drunken voice note rattled in her head like an echo trapped between her ribs. Eight months, and the thought of seeing him in his element – seeing him – made her stomach twist in ways she couldn’t quite decipher. Would it set her back? Or would it confirm that she was finally past it?

Five minutes into chatting, laughing like she wasn’t standing in the center of everything she had left behind, Oscar Piastri appeared, cradling his arm like it was more of an annoyance than an injury. It was impossible for her not to know or like Oscar – they would always lightly catch up and laugh whenever she visited a paddock. And she sure as hell knew that he was aware what was the reason behind her being absent recently. 

“Hey, do me a favor,” he said, surprised to see her in the paddock, but not making a big deal out of it. “Tell me I’m being dramatic.”

She raised a brow. “You’re being dramatic.”

Oscar grinned. “That’s what I needed.”

They fell into easy conversation – nothing deep, just lighthearted jabs about how McLaren clearly needed her back on call, and how she had ditched them for something far less entertaining.

And then, as she was mid-sentence, Oscar’s eyes flicked to her shirt.

Her stomach dropped. She glanced down, realizing how obvious it was now, when she dropped her jacket off. The faded Lando Norris on the back. The small details only a real fan – or someone owning a similar t-shirt – would notice, proved this shirt wasn’t just merch, but his.

“That is not just any McLaren shirt.”

Her face went hot. “Oscar –”

“You’re both so full of shit,” he cut in, laughing.

Before she could protest, before she could even think, he was pulling out his phone.

“Oscar,” she warned.

“Relax,” he said, snapping the picture. “I’ll make it tasteful.”

So when later that day, after the GP was done and gone, her phone buzzed, she wasn’t surprised to see that Oscar had tagged her in a story, meant for a close friend's circle. At least he had decency not to post it publicly, sparing her from the speculation of people online.

A casual shot – Oscar grinning, arm still wrapped in tape, her beside him, mid-laugh. The caption?

“I’m here catching up with a friend, being all nice and all, and she’s still in his corner.”

She rolled her eyes and locked her phone, pretending she saw nothing. Lando rarely if ever checked other driver’s stories, so she thought that maybe she was safe. 

What she didn’t know, that Lando was also tagged in it. 

It was late by the time the high of his first home win finally started to wear off. It should have lasted longer. It should have been everything. And for a while, it was. The roar of the British crowd, the Union Jack wrapped around his shoulders, the feeling of standing on the top step at Silverstone – his Silverstone. It was a dream he’d had since he was a kid, a moment that was meant to feel like an ending and a beginning all at once.

But the thing about dreams is that you never picture them alone. And she wasn’t there. Not where she should have been, anyway.

He’d looked for her. Not consciously, not obviously, but when he turned toward the grandstands where his family sat – where she used to sit – his eyes found nothing but an empty space. And it was stupid to expect anything different. They weren’t that anymore. They weren’t anything, really.

But for the first time since she walked out, he let himself admit it. It still felt wrong doing this without her.

Later, exhausted but unwilling to sleep, he opened his phone, torn between drowning in nostalgia or holding onto the adrenaline of the win. He chose the latter. Scrolled through the tags, looking for a story to share. When he saw the notification from Oscar, he barely thought twice. Probably some congratulatory post, maybe something teasing him for taking so long to win here.

But when he clicked it, the world narrowed to a pinpoint.

Because there she was.

Not in the stands. Not in his family's section. But she had been there. And she was wearing his shirt. An old one, something he barely even remembered giving her, but she still had it. Still wore it.

His stomach tightened. She hadn’t wanted to see him. Hadn’t let him see her. But maybe he wasn’t the only one still looking for pieces of the past.

And maybe she wasn’t quite ready to let them go either.

______

There were still three days left until their one-year mark. Not that she was counting. 

362 days had passed. 362 days of learning how to be her own person again. And, honestly? She wasn’t half bad at it. 

She had figured out how to be alone without feeling lonely. She’d chased things she never made time for before, threw herself into work, into new routines, into a version of herself that wasn’t just an extension of him. And she liked who she was becoming – someone stronger, more driven, more sure of herself.

But did she still feel a pit in her stomach every time she thought about the fact that he wasn’t there to see it? Absolutely.

And maybe that was why she had convinced herself she just had to make it to a year. A clean number. One final milestone to tell her that they had really done it – walked away, stayed away and allowed them both to breath.

But then came the invitation. Max, persistently begging her to come. It’s his birthday, he’d want you there. And also, it was hard to lie to herself that three days would make her change her mind. 

Before she knew it, she was standing in the middle of the chaos, clutching a drink she didn’t want, in a room that felt too damn small. The music was loud, the air thick with laughter and voices overlapping in that familiar, comfortable way. She had spent years in rooms like this, at parties just like this, orbiting the same people, the same circles. But tonight, she felt like a stranger.

And then she saw him. Across the room, back turned, laughing at something Max had said. Easy. Effortless. Like nothing had changed.

The last time she saw him, Lando was leaving Silverstone with his name echoing through the crowd. A winner. A hero. And she had watched from the screen of her phone, watching him have everything he ever wanted. 

That realization made her stop in her tracks.

Because here he was, months later, standing in the center of a world that kept spinning without her. With only three GPs left, he was still a contender for the whole damn championship. He had managed to dodge all major drama, kept his head down, thrived. And now, surrounded by friends, by people who cared for him, cherished him, celebrated him – he looked free.

Happy.

And just like that, the thought hit her like a punch to the ribs. Maybe this should be it. Maybe this night should be her closure. Because if this past year had proven anything, it was that he didn’t need her. And as much as it twisted something deep inside her, maybe she was okay with that.

Maybe she could give up the what if in exchange for the freedom she had convinced herself he deserved. Even if her heart didn’t waver. Even if she was still his in ways she wished she wasn’t.

She turned on her heel, ready to leave this place. She knew that he was aware that she was here. So the checkmark ticked for their friends – she was here, she had cheered for him. Now it was time to leave all this behind them. Just as she was about to put the empty glass on the table by the door, she heard a familiar voice:

“Leaving so soon?”

His voice cut through the noise like a blade. She could barely hear it, but somehow, it still sent a shiver down her spine.

She didn’t turn back, not right away. She let out a breath, eyes shutting for half a second, before finally facing him.

“I was just –” She cleared her throat, finding it suddenly dry. “I was just stepping out.”

Something flickered in his eyes. He didn’t call her bullshit. Didn’t need to. Instead, he simply gestured toward the door.

“Me too.”

As they stepped outside, the air outside was crisp, a quiet relief from the overwhelming heat of the party. She crossed her arms over her chest, less for warmth, more for something to do. Lando stuffed his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels as he exhaled, long and slow.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

And then–

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

She let out something between a laugh and a scoff. “I wasn’t going to.”

His lips twitched. “Max?”

“Max.”

Silence again. But this one wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t unfamiliar. It was them. The kind of quiet that only came after knowing someone for years. The kind that held more weight than words.

Lando rocked back on his heels. “You didn’t have to come.”

She let out a breath, steadying herself. “I know.”

“Then why did you?”

She shifted on her feet, gaze flickering toward the door, toward the party she could easily slip back into. Away from this. But she didn’t move.

Instead, she sighed, voice softer now. “Because it’s your birthday.”

Lando exhaled through his nose, looking away for a moment. “I thought maybe you were done.”

“I thought so too,” she admitted. “I was trying to be.”

His gaze snapped back to her, something sharp behind his eyes. “Trying?”

Her stomach twisted. This was exactly what she had been afraid of – this conversation, the one she wasn’t sure she was ready to have. The one where she had to admit that all the time, all the space, all the growing hadn’t undone a damn thing.

“I didn’t want us to slip back,” she confessed. “Back into something that wasn’t healthy. Back into us, but wrong.”

Lando nodded, slow. “And do you think we would?”

She looked at him. At the way he was standing now, steadier, stronger, more him. At the way his face, older in ways that had nothing to do with time, still softened at the sight of her. At the way she still felt it. That pull. That certainty.

She swallowed hard. “No.”

He stepped forward. Not much. Just enough. And this time, he was the one to break the silence.

“You know what I realized?” His voice was quiet, careful. “That I could have the best day of my life, and it still wouldn’t be quite right.”

She stiffened.

“Because it’s not about someone seeing it,” he continued. “It’s about someone being there. It’s about looking over and knowing –” he broke off, shaking his head, then tried again. “I didn’t need you to see me win at Silverstone. Hell I didn't need you to witness any of this. I just –” his voice dropped even lower – “needed you. And then I saw you in that damn picture with my t-shirt on. It took everything in me not to drive to Bristol, looking for you.”

Her throat tightened. “Lando.”

“I know we did the right thing,” he said, brushing it off. “I know we needed time. I know we needed to fix things.” A pause. Then he looked dead into her eyes. “But tell me. Right now. That if we part ways now that you will be the happiest version of yourself.”

Now, she was standing in front of the person who had been both her greatest love and her hardest lesson. Now, she was staring at him, the weight of their history pressing in from all sides, and she still couldn’t imagine a life where she didn’t look for him in every crowd. Now, she was tired of pretending.

“I don’t regret what we did,” she whispered. Something flickered in his eyes, but he didn’t pull back. “I think we needed it,” she admitted. “I think we needed the space. The time. I think we needed to figure out who we were without each other.”

She swallowed hard, forcing herself to continue. “And I did. I figured it out.”

Lando didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. “And?”

She hesitated, because saying it out loud made it real. Made it true. But after all the turmoil she owed him that much.

“I had good days,” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “Really good days. Days where I laughed so hard my ribs ached. Where I felt strong. Where I was proud of who I was becoming.”

Lando’s jaw tensed. She inhaled sharply. 

“And then there were the other days. The ones where something amazingly good or amazingly bad happened, something I wanted to share, but I’d reach for my phone and realize – ” Her voice cracked. “Realize you weren’t there.”

Lando shut his eyes for a second, like he needed a moment to steady himself. “Yeah.”

Her chest tightened. “And you?”

His lips parted, but for the first time all night, words didn’t come so easily. So he exhaled, rubbed a hand over his jaw, and met her gaze with the kind of raw honesty that left no room for doubt.

“I had the best day of my life, and it still felt wrong because you weren’t there to see it.”

She blinked, chest tightening, but he wasn’t done.

“I had the worst day of my life too. And every instinct told me to go to you. And I couldn’t.”

Her throat burned.

“I used to think what we had was everything,” he murmured. “And then we broke apart, and I thought – maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were just young and caught up in something that was never meant to last.”

She held her breath.

“But then I lived without you. I learned how to be on my own. I grew. And I still came to the same conclusion.”

His fingers twitched at his sides, as if he was holding himself back.

“You are the only thing in my life that I’ve ever been sure of.”

Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she forced a watery laugh. “That’s funny,” she whispered. “Because I was just about to say the same thing.”

Lando’s shoulders fell, something breaking apart and putting itself back together all at once. And then he stepped forward. And so did she.

And when he kissed her, it wasn’t about picking up where they left off.

It was about choosing each other again. And they landed exactly where they needed to.

[maskedcrawford]

Green Eyed Monster

G-Dragon x Reader x platonic! Jackson Wang

Summary: You and Jackson Wang get close through work and your ex isn't too keen on the fact that it looks like you've moved on.

Warnings: Some angst, fluff at the end.

A/N: Thank you to anon who requested, I got to try my hand at writing for Jackson Wang and I'm going to OPEN requests for him if you guys want something. Leave a like and/or a reblog if you enjoy! Much love <3

Requests are OPEN

You’re sitting in the makeup chair when you feel a pair of hands delicately touch your shoulders. You look up from your phone in the mirror and you see his big dark eyes and light brown hair in the mirror.

“Well, it took ya long enough, J,” you say with a teasing smile as you get up and hug him. You and Jackson Wang had been working together for the last 4 months on a song for your album and today you were shooting the video.

“Always a pleasure,” he says genuinely and returns your hug. Were you and Jackson together? No. Were there rumors about such things? Absolutely. The song being about love didn’t help matters. You guys had known each other briefly through mutual friends but when you had the idea for the song, you knew his vocals would take it to the next level.

“Jackson, Y/N!” the director shouts and you two spring into action with the video. The video itself was pretty intimate; the two of you on a bed tangled together in the sheets, touching, be all close and having no sense of personal space whatsoever. But, Jackson is a professional.

“So if I put my hand here,” he’s talking to the director and looks at you and you give him a nod before he touches your hip.

“And then I can slide it up like this,” he does the motion and pulls you closer to him.

“Yeah, that’ll work perfectly,” your director says and you roll with it.

“Let’s move on to the kiss,” the director announces after that scene. You blush as the time comes for the practical make out session that’s needed for the scene. Jackson was obviously cute, and him so being so respectful and kind? That only made it worse.

You can’t help the nervous laugh as you two are placed together and he starts smiling at you.

“You ok?” he asks genuinely, “We can figure something else out if we need to, find another way to,” you put your hand on his chest to stop him.

“I’m fine, seriously. Just don’t eat my face,” you wink at him with a chuckle. He gives you a gorgeous smile while shaking his head.

“Might be hard, you’re lookin extra good in that outfit,” he subtly looks you up and down. You two had a flirty relationship, but both of you knew it wouldn’t really go anywhere. The scene commences and you lock lips passionately and for a brief moment you forget its for a music video, that is until you hear the director call cut and you both slowly separate, a slight blush on both of your cheeks.

“That was great, guys. We’ll pick it up tomorrow!”

The video is done after a few days and the album dropped four months later. Your adventures continue with a world tour together, but tonight you were performing at the infamous MAMA awards. Since you two were doing a love song it was known that you would have to kiss for the sake of the performance.

“Look, people love us together,” you smile as you show him a picture you posted with a bunch of likes. He smiles as he clicks on the comments.

“This isn’t helping the dating rumors ya know,” he winks at you playfully and you roll your eyes.

“Us kissing every night doesn’t either, not to mention neither one of us have confirmed or denied anything. Besides, who we go out with really isn’t their business.”

“Ever since you made headlines with G-Dragon though, they think it is,” he corrects you.  You raise your eyebrows with a sigh that confirms he isn’t wrong.

You and Jiyong had been together 4 years, until the beginning of this year. Schedules got in the way, and Ji had admitted to kissing another woman at a party when he was drunk. It was a one-time thing and for a while you were able to move past it, but eventually, everything came crashing down.

“How could you still not trust me?” he shouted. You were in tears, your nerves were shot and honestly you didn’t want to have the argument.

“You were all over her, Ji. Tell me I’m lying! You kissed another woman before, it’s not like you couldn’t do that and more,” your voice was bitter and weak from tears.

“Oh my god, are you ever going to let it go?” he looked annoyed, he looked weak and desperate to escape the mistake that played through your mind more than you cared to admit. You loved him more than anything, more than life itself practically. But who was he to tell you how long it took to heal? Who was he to say that he atoned for what he did just because of a few ways he tried to make it up to you. Girls were constantly all over him so it wasn’t like he was in short supply. It had caused you to feel insecure, regardless of whether or not he was drunk.

The two of you stayed silent, deafeningly silent, until Ji finally sighs and rubs his temple with his fingers.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he mumbles, “I can’t keep paying for this when I think I’ve proven I’m not that person,” his eyes are cold, depleted of life. It broke him to do this, but he didn’t see any other way.

“We’re done,” he said before walking out of your house with nothing more than a kiss to the forehead.

“Earth to Y/N,” Jackson calls out and you shake your head pulling yourself out of the intense flashback.

“Huh, oh, sorry,” you sheepishly rub the back of your neck.

“Let’s practice one more time,” he takes your hand helping you stand up.

“Ji, have you seen this?” Taeyang was over at his house and pulled up the love song you and Jackson put out.

“Hmm?” he glances away from his phone and furrows his brows at the video. He see’s the two of you kiss on screen and he feels, that pang of jealousy. He’s seen the video before, he seen it the day it came out, actually. But he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want to think of it.

He hadn’t seen you since that night, not in person anyway. On TV shows and award ceremonies, he would watch, quietly support you and your career, even liking the first picture or two you posted of you and Jackson.

“They are performing tonight at the MAMA awards, so you’ll probably get to see her,” Taeyang calls out as he heads to the kitchen.

“She’s going to be there?” His voice is rushed, excited almost.

“Yup, we better go too, we’ll be late.”

You and Jackson are at the venue preparing for the show, hitting the choreography perfectly multiple times.

“OK, we gotta get dressed,” you say as you two come out of each other’s embrace

“We got this in the bag,” you both high five and he brings you in for a hug.

“You should really layer a little more deodorant,” you say with a giggle. He sniffs his shirt and makes a twisted face.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he laughs as he jogs off stage. As you walk off to go to the dressing room you stop as your breath hitches in your throat.

Ji-yong laughs as he feels someone stop and stare, he looks away from his manager and he spots you. His smile fades as he takes in your shocked face.

It’s still as beautiful as the first day he met you. He gives you a small wave and smile and you can’t move. His gaze is friendly and lingers for a moment. He starts to walk towards you, until he see’s Jackson come up behind you with his hand resting on your back. You look up at him directly and he can see the smile on your face when you look at him.

He feels the aching jealousy well up inside him but he pushes it down. You nod your head at something he says, and Jackson flits his gaze to Ji before giving a pursed lip smile and dragging you off with him in another direction.

“What could she possibly see in him?” Ji yong asks out loud not really expecting an answer.

“Hyung, did you really think she wouldn’t,” Ji-yong shoots Taeyang a glare, “Move on?” he finishes carefully.

“It’s been 8 months,” he tries to be gentle with Ji’s feelings, but the sting is too much. Jackson Wang was in a place he was supposed to be in. One he’d still be in most likely if he hadn’t of screwed up.

“Still fucking stings,” he grumbles. Taeyang sighs and gives his friend a hug.

“You both,” he pulls back and looks his friend in the face, “Need to move on. It’s time.” He tries to encourage him, tries to show him it’s healthy to move on, but the way Ji-yong loved you, despite his mistake, he was sure he’d never love anyone the same way.

“It’s not that easy, hyung.” He sighs as he sits down for the stylist to do his hair.

“She was everything, my muse, my rock, my reason for breathing. There were days I only got out of bed because I knew I would see her and that it would help make my day better,” he remembers fond memories as he talks to Taeyang about you. One of you and him riding the ferries wheel and getting stuck on top, that’s where your fist kiss was. When you accidently spilled ice cream on your top and he gave you jacket to cover it. When you’d both grow bored at parties after a little while and want to leave to just spend quiet time at home. He missed the way your touch made him feel like everything would work out, the way you made him feel like he was enough for exactly who he was. He sighs as he finishes getting ready for the show.

“Ok, are you ready for this?” Jackson asks you with anticipation.

“Absolutely, just don’t kiss me with tongue tonight,” you swat his arm and he laughs.

“No promises,” he winks and kisses your temple. You both get into position and the song starts as the lights go up. You follow the normal dance routine, spinning and swaying your hips to the beat, and kissing at the end of the song.

As the song is performed Ji can’t help but watch from the side of the stage, the way your body moves so gracefully and how it fits to Jackson’s so well when he had to wrap his arms around you, but it wasn’t the perfect way it fit Ji-yong’s. No, your body wouldn’t fit to anyone else’s the way it did his. He noticed the happy smile on your face, only noticing it falter when your eyes locked as you look his way.

The song ends and the lights go back down. You and him rush off stage and as soon as you are out of view you jump into his arms, adrenaline running high. He catches you with a huge smile on his face and he kisses your cheek sweetly. Ji-yong watches just off to the side and he rolls his eyes. He walks past you and you catch him out of the corner of your eye, his face deadpan.

You stay to the side of the stage to watch him perform. As he looks off to the side, he catches you watching, swaying your body to the music and nodding your head. He gives a half smile your way and you return one. His performance ends and he runs off stage he takes his mic off and before he can run to you, Jackson once again is in the place he wants to be, by your side.

“So, I was thinking, we could go down to the club and celebrate,” Jackson’s excited nature was infectious.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” you glance at Ji-yong who’s giving you a glare again and you furrow your brows at him.

“We’ll leave in a few, get changed!” He runs off to get his stuff together and you go to walk off, but before you can you feel a hand around your wrist pulling you back. You look back and see it’s Ji-yong who has an unreadable expression on his face. You look at each other for a moment.

“I really need to talk to you,” he pleads.

“I,” you look in the direction Jackson went and back at Ji who looks slightly hopeful you’ll stay.

“I can’t,” you say tearing your arm away. He lets you go and for a moment lets you walk away before following you.

“Y/n,” he catches the door to your room. You look over at him, he still takes your breath away, the way his hair clings to his forehead from the sweat, the way he looks at you with his dark eyes, the way his clothes somewhat soaked with sweat cling to his body.

“What, Ji? I have somewhere to be, Jackson isn’t going to wait on me forever,” he scoffs and looks off to the side, mumbling something to himself.

“You want to share with the rest of the class,” you sass him.

“Not really,” he sasses back. You roll your eyes.

“I’m changing so at least shut the door. He walks in and shuts it.

“I meant with you on the other side of it,” you shoot him a glare of annoyance.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen, held or tasted before,” he smirks and you roll your eyes with a sharp exhale.

“Whatever,” you pull your top off your head and his eyes go directly to your body, not in a sensual, sexual way, but in a way that he’s curious. He notices you’ve put on a just little weight in the last 8 months and you instinctively wrap your arms around your torso.

“Can you not, stare,” you pause looking away from him, “at me,” you hear his footsteps come closer and he lifts your chin with his thumb and index finger.

“You’re beautiful,” he slowly reaches for your arms to pull them away and he’s inches from your face.

“Ji-yong,” you put a hand on his chest pushing him back slightly. His eyes flash with hurt before he recovers.

“Be honest with me,” he says standing back further as you find a different shirt. While you’re slipping it over your head you hear him ask, “Does he touch you better than I did?”

“What? Who?!” You all but shriek.

“Your little fling,” he motions his hand as you pull the shirt over your head you take off your pants next and put on some comfortable leggings.

“What ‘fling’,” you ask bewildered by his audacity. He rolls his eyes, saying his name makes him feel ill.

“Your little affair with Jackson Wang, y/n, I know about it, and so does the rest of the world, besides with the way you were sucking face out there, you don’t try to hide it.” You can see his jealousy and you quirk a brow at him. You decide to have a little fun at his expense. After all if he’s going to be nosy and a jerk at the same time, why not have a little fun.

“What Jackson and I are, or aren’t,” you pause and stare at him directly into his eyes, “doing is none of your concern. You left me, Ji, who I’m with now is none of your business.” You strap on a pair of sandals and walk out the door leaving him standing there.

“Jackson,” you call out and race to him. You can feel Ji-yong watching you so you slip your hand in Jackson’s as you walk off.

At the club the music is loud and the drinks are good, but you start to let your mind wonder back to your ex-boyfriend.

“What are you thinking about,” Jackson yells over the music as he see’s you staring into space.

“Ji-yong,” you huff.

“He nods his head understandably. He heard about all of it, multiple times, and he knew you still loved him.

“You wanna dance?” His offer is intriguing and you decide it’s better than sitting there thinking of the guy who broke up with you. As you and Jackson dance you happen to look over your shoulder and see that face that makes your knees weak.

“Holy shit,” you yell and Jackson notices your body tense as he looks at you concerned.

“What?” you point to Ji-yong as the answer to his question.

“Go talk to him.” He tries to push you forward.

“No, he was a dick.” You pout. He nods and walks over to Ji-yong for you. You watch as he gets closer, and even buys your ex a drink.

“Listen, man, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but me and your girl,” you see him gesture to you, “We ain’t together.” He throws back a shot and so does Ji.

“She isn’t ‘my girl’,” he corrects solemnly.

“Could’ve fooled me. She talks about you constantly,” he chuckles and Ji-yong quirks his brow. Jackson knew you’d either thank him or kill him for this, but he wasn’t worried about that right now.

“She does?” he looks over to you, seeing you dance alone.

“Oh yeah, how bad she misses you, wishes things would’ve been different.” He nods his head and looks down at the bar.

“So what’s with the rumors and the kiss and,” Jackson nods interrupting him.

“We did the song together and just became close friends. As far as the kiss, management thought it’d be good for the song if we kissed like in the video. We’re completely platonic though.” He downs another shot, Ji-yong decides not to, he wants his head clear when talks to you.

“Go get her, man,” he encourages and Ji-yong nods his head as he makes his way to you. He slides in behind you while you dance and the intimate smell of cologne and cigarettes wafts to your nostrils. You feel his hand on your hips as he moves with you.

“Can we talk,” he asks in your ear and you just keep dancing, ignoring his words but not his touch, you bring his hands around your torso so he encapsulates you.

“Jagiya,” his voice is soft, sultry even, and once the music ends you sigh and turn to face him.

“Can I please talk to you,” you see Jackson at the bar smirking at you. You give him a half smile as you find an area in the club away from all the people.

“What is it,” you don’t know how else to ask.

“I miss you,” he’s straight to the point and you didn’t expect that.

“Ji,” you sigh.

“Look, I wasn’t planning on telling you, but I seen you with him tonight and I hated it. He had you the way I should, the way I did.” He steps closer to you; you back up hitting the wall. He closes the space, your mouths just inches apart. He’s intoxicating, the way he looks at you, smells, and just the feeling of his body near yours is electric.

“He kissed you the way I did, the way I still want to,” he mumbles as he caresses your cheek.

“Not really,” you utter barely above a whisper.

“Hmm,” he asks like he doesn’t understand.

“He didn’t,” you look into his dark, beautiful eyes, “kiss me the way you did. It wasn’t the same passion or love. It wasn’t the same feeling I got with you.” You feel your cheeks blush as you confess to him.

“His touch,” you runs your hands over his arms that are locked onto your hips now,“Isn’t the same. Its not as electrifying.” You look at him through your lashes.

He looks relieved.

“So, you really aren’t with him?” you shake your head no.

You bring your forehead to his and whisper to him, “I’m not with anyone, I’m yours Ji-yong, I always have been,” and before any other words can be said his lips are on yours, smoothly moving in sync and he pulls your impossibly closer as you fist his shirt.

“Aegiya,” he practically whimpers when you separate.

“I need you to come home.” You smile at his confession.

“Promise me something,” you say cautiously.

“Anything,” his desperate eyes search yours.

“You’ll give us time to rebuild trust and be patient with me,” you’re asking more than telling.

“As long as you want to trust me again, I’ll prove you can.” He smiles.

“Then lets get out of here,” you grin as he takes your hand and leads you out of the club.

If you enjoyed consider buying me a coffee

[arislore]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚જ⁀➴ NSFW Alphabet

Pairing: Inexperienced!Spencer Reid x Profiler!Reader

Summary: A fun little list of NSFW headcanons organized by the first letter of each topic. Enjoy!

Tags: established relationship, spencer was a virgin when y’all got together, oral (f & mentions of m receiving), slight medical play, sexy use of statistics, male masturbation, mentions of anal

Warnings: Most of these are paragraphs but there are a couple of letters that i kind of gave up on.

Word Count: 1.9k

A: Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s exhausted, but he manages to stay awake long enough to clean you up and talk to you until you fall asleep. He’ll rub little soothing circles into your skin and hold your head on his chest, letting you count his heartbeats.

B: Body Part (their favorite body part, both on their own body and their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself has to be his hands, because he loves watching you fall apart on them. His favorite body part of yours is definitely your eyes. He loves to see how they squint when you’re confused, how they crinkle when you’re happy, and how they gloss over when you get needy for his touch. He also loves when he makes you feel so good that you start to cry, just from how overwhelmed you are.

C: Cum (anything to do with cum)

As we all know, Spencer is a germaphobe, so when you first had sex with him, he cringed when he felt his cum flood the condom. After you explained that you were on the pill, he was ecstatic that he didn’t have to use one again. He doesn’t mind dirtying you, though–one of his favorite things to do is cum inside of you when you don’t have time to clean up, and you’re forced to walk around with it in your underwear. You almost wrung his neck when he did this on a case.

D: Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly really likes being called “Doctor” during sex, and when you figure this out, you don’t let him go a single day without rubbing it in his face. In the bullpen, you’ll move in front of him, brushing your ass against his crotch with a quiet, “Excuse me, Dr. Reid,” just to hear his breath get caught in his throat. When you bring him his coffee (no cream, but ten tablespoons of sugar), you’ll set it down in front of him, placing a hand on his bicep, all sultry, saying, “Here you go, Doctor.” It doesn’t hurt that he looks incredibly sexy wearing his crime scene gloves.

E: Experience (how experienced are they?)

He was a virgin when he met you. He’d kissed Lila in the pool nearly a decade prior, and he had a long-distance relationship with Maeve, but he had never actually gotten further than a single make-out session. When you touched him for the first time, he was so sure he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn’t fathom a world where someone as beautiful as you could love someone like him.

F: Favorite Position (goes without saying)

He loves any position where he gets to see your face. He loves watching you react to each little touch, watching your mouth contort in pleasure as you beg him for more. He prefers missionary, but he’s more than happy to have you on top when he’s too tired to do the work. But if he can’t see your face, it’s just not as good for him.

G: Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

He’s serious, but sometimes, when he’s nervous, he’ll start rattling off statistics about sex, which made you laugh at first, but now it just turns you on even more. When you taught him how to eat pussy, he responded with, “Right, because only eighteen percent of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone.”, which left you speechless. The first time you guys used toys, you were a little embarrassed that you needed it in the first place, and he said, “You know, eighty-two percent of women use sex toys. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

H: Hair (how well groomed are they? does the curtain match the drapes?)

His pubic hair is tinted red, although he doesn’t have much of it. You didn’t mind at first that he didn’t trim it, but when you started going down on him more, it bothered you, and he immediately started manscaping each time he showered.

I: Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

To Spencer, sex is all about you. He doesn’t even care if he gets off, although it’s an added bonus. He’s always holding your hand, or rubbing soothing circles into your hip as you get overwhelmed. For him, foreplay is the best part. He loves to tease you for as long as you can stand it. Kissing, biting, licking all over your body, leaving little marks and bruises. He just wants you to know how loved you are.

J: Jack Off (masturbation headcanons)

He rarely touched himself before he met you. Even though it took years for either of you to work up the courage to admit your feelings to one another, he noticed nearly everything about you, from the way you pouted when you didn’t get your way (and god, he wanted to see your lips wrapped around his cock), to the way you chest heaved when you were out of breath (why couldn’t he be the one to get to you react that way?). All he could think about around you was sex, and he needed to have an outlet for that somewhere.

K: Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves when you sit on his face. At first, you were nervous–you didn’t want to hurt him, and you had a friend who broke her neck because her girlfriend sat on it too hard. He joked that if he were to die, he'd die a happy man, but that didn’t help. After enough coaxing, you eventually did it, and realized that you were kind of stupid for not doing it before, and he was stupid good with his tongue.

L: Location (favorite place to have sex)

He prefers a bed above all else, but he won’t say no if you pull him into a storage closet because you just can’t keep your hands off of him any longer. Honestly, he’d do it anywhere you asked–even a car, although he doesn’t fit that well and it hurts his back. Out of the two of you, you’re definitely the more adventurous one, but he doesn’t mind–it’s just a new experience for him to try.

M: Motivation (what turns them on?)

If you asked him, he’d say that you breathing turns him on, which is true, but what really gets him going is when you absentmindedly play with him, whether it’s his hands, his sleeve, or his collar, it’s like all the blood rushes to his cock and he’s so lightheaded he might pass out. He knows it’s wrong, but sometimes when you yelp in pain, he has to do breathing exercises to calm down.

N: No (something they wouldn’t do / turn offs)

He can’t bring himself to do anal. Not just because it hurts you, but also because it’s kind of gross.

O: Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? what’s their skill level?)

He loves to give head. If he’s honest, he’d be happy if you never went down on him again, as long as he gets to eat your pretty pussy for the rest of his life. He wasn’t very good at it at first, but he’s a quick learner, and by the end of the first time, he made you see stars you didn’t know existed.

P: Pace (how fast or slow are they?)

If you’re both frustrated, he’ll fuck you hard and fast, but typically, he likes to be slow and gentle. He wants you to feel each inch as he fills you, each drag of his cock inside of you. Rationally, he knows the two of you could have sex whenever you want, but irrationally, he never wants it to end. The longer he keeps you cumming, the longer he gets to have with you.

Q: Quickies (their opinion on quickies)

He doesn’t like them very often, but if you have a couple cases back to back like you did after the pig farm, he’s ecstatic when you pull him aside for a quick fumble in the dark.

R: Risk (do they like to experiment?)

Everything is an experiment for this man, since he’s never really done anything before you. He’s happy with it though, and he’d do anything you asked him to, as long as you really wanted it. If you told him to hop on one foot naked on a balcony he thinks he would do it. You would never ask that, though, which he’s grateful for.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long can they last?)

The first time he fucked you, he lasted a total of five seconds. He was super embarrassed, of course, but with time, his stamina grew and he can fuck you for nearly a half an hour now, maybe even longer if he takes breaks. He knows the average time it takes for a man to orgasm is seven minutes, so he’s grateful he finally beat that statistic.

T: Toys (do they use toys? how?)

He doesn’t use toys on himself, but he loves to use them on you. He loves to see you writhe when he uses a vibrator on your clit, drinking in your high-pitched moans when he changes the position or setting. He doesn’t use dildos on you often, but every once and a while, it’s nice to watch you get fucked and actually be able to pay attention to something other than holy shit you’re so wet oh my god, because usually, he can’t.

U: Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He’ll tease you for days if he has the chance, leaving you a pathetic, wet mess until he finally gives in and touches you exactly how you need.

V: Volume (how loud are they?)

Spencer Reid is nothing if not vocal. He’s always babbling about how good you’re doing, how good you feel, how badly and how long he’s wanted this. He can’t help but whine and moan pathetically when you touch him, and he’s not too shy to beg for what he wants.

W: Wildcard (a random headcanon)

He’ll never admit it to anyone, not even himself, but he thinks it’s hot when you cry, as long as you aren’t upset. He loves to kiss and wipe away your tears, and he hates how his cock twitches when your eyes get all glossy. You actually noticed before he did, but you never said anything because you don’t want to embarrass him.

X: X-Ray (what’s going on under those clothes?)

He’s tall and slender, with a very low body fat content. He doesn’t work out very often, which leads him to still be soft on his stomach and chest. He’s got hair, but it’s very light and you can barely see it, outside of the tuft in his pants. His cock is long, thick, and cut, with a shiny red tip when he’s hard.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before he met you, he didn’t think he’d ever have sex, but then he laid eyes on you, and he’s been eternally horny ever since.

Z: Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s tired, but he can stay up until you fall asleep–just know, he’s not that far behind you.

[reinbouxsworld]

Hey so like sorry if you're the wrong person to say this to but I love Jamil's character so much and it makes me so mad that the fandom takes Kalim's side in his ob when they're so much more sympathetic to everyone else's ob situation. Like all the ob's are caused by trauma so no olympics but Jamil was Kalim's slave??? He was literally fighting to stop being his slave? To the son of a rich merchant family that could decide the fate of his whole family?? The stakes were so fucking high. Kalim not knowing says everything about his relative privilege and nothing about his innocence. Kalim's saving grace was his willingness to change when he learned, but that slave-relationship was multigenerational and Jamil had no guarantee it would happen if he "asked for his freedom". I think the fandom has some real inner reckoning to consider about why Kalim crying is more upsetting than Jamil's (and his family's) life.

OKAY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS ONE.

﹙𝑡𝑤𝑠𝑡.﹚ ─ WHY JAMIL TRAUMA IS (BUT SHOULDN'T BE) DOWNPLAYED

﹙ or why i support jamil viper rights and wrongs﹚

──────────────────────────────────────

٬٬ I think the most obvious reason is that Kalim, by being a very kind and often naïve person, wins people over quickly (myself included). He’s sweet, kind, and honest. He just wants to have a good time with his friends—he’s easy to be around and talk to. More often than not, a "happy person" is easier to forgive than someone you’re not as close to.

But what do I mean by that?

Jamil is not used to being himself. He always has to manage and calculate his every step to ensure he doesn’t overshadow Kalim’s presence, even though, by merit, he could be in the spotlight (which, at this point, I see as an unspoken Viper family tradition). And it’s not just when Kalim is around — even when Jamil is alone, he’s still under pressure to maintain his facade. We do see glimpses of him sometimes, especially after the overblot, where he's a little bit more acidic, smug and sincere, but the reality is that his entire life has been shaped around a forced role. The most frustrating part of his story is that when Jamil got to NRC, he had a brief moment of freedom—only for it to be taken away again by Kalim’s overwhelming presence. And the worst part? He wasn’t even chosen to be there. Kalim literally bought his way into NRC just to be with Jamil. I don’t think people fully realize how hopeless that must have made an already frustrated teenager feel. He had no choice but to start over, once again masking himself under Kalim’s shadow.

I won’t go into the nuances of his initial actions leading up to the overblot, but they clearly show his frustrations, especially when he hypnotized Kalim to do his own work as a housewarden.

And then, right after all the resentment and fight, we get Kalim crying over his friend. Of course, as you said, Kalim’s willingness to change is a big reason why the fandom takes his side. It makes sense— he genuinely wants to be a good friend. But the frustrating part is that people still reduce Jamil to just "the scheming servant" while ignoring everything else we see in the chapter. Kalim’s willingness to change is important, but it doesn’t undo the years of pressure, resentment, and lack of autonomy Jamil has endured. At the end of the day, Kalim can change, but Jamil? He’s still bound by the same expectations, the same role, the same system.

If you don’t look deeper into each chapter, it’s easy to sum up an overblot with a simple explanation: "Riddle is acting like his mom," "Leona is throwing a tantrum because he’s not king," and so on. I think we are often drawn more to the breaking point than to the underlying cause of it. But in Jamil’s case, the most obvious problem is also the one people tend to overlook: Jamil was — and, by definition, still is —Kalim’s servant. More than that, all Vipers still are.

The reason Jamil seems "fine" is because, unlike the others, he can’t change the very thing that made him feel this way in the first place. To be clear, I’m not downplaying any of the other boys' trauma—I’m speaking from a storytelling and borderline objective perspective. Most of the other characters could change their circumstances if they wanted to (again, i'm not saying it is easy or simple). Many of them have the resources and/or support networks to do so. But Jamil doesn’t. Even after his overblot, while Kalim gets to grow and change, Jamil is still stuck playing the same role. He may have a little more space to breathe, but his reality remains the same—his life is still controlled by the Al-Asim family.

────────

[ohgodthevoices]

hey swaggy author, i would absolutely LOVE if u did a tsukishima fluff + angst 🤭 smtg like the osamu timeskip one with the themes of childhood best friends and development of feelings once they're like older 🙂‍↕️🙏

omg i never wrote for tsukishima and im scared it'll be ooc but here we go ill try my best 😭

Tsukishima kei x reader

tags : fluff , a lil angst , he’s not good with feelings , childhood friends to lovers , gn!reader

you and tsukishima kei had been inseparable since chilhood. you were there when he got his first dinosaur book , sitting cross-legged beside him as he rambled about prehistoric eras with excitement only a kid could muster. he was there when you scaped your knee falling off your bike offering a "don't be dumb next time" as he handed you a band-ai

your friendship was nothing too loud , sitting next to each other on the bus , sharing earphones and bickered over song choices or staying up on call when one couldn't sleep and the other was studying.

but somewhere along the way, somwhere between your first and second year of highschool , something shifted.

it wasn't obvious at first , maybe it was the way his gaze lingered a second longer when you laughed, or how your heart stuttered when he absentmindedly fixed your scarf on a cold day. small, almost imperceptible moments stacking up, like a slow-building crescendo neither of you wanted to acknowledge.

when summer was finally here, your joy was quickly met by confusion when tsukishima started leaving you on read longer than usual, it was the way he stopped comming to your place to pick you up for your weekly saturday morning coffee date , the way you'd see him with yamaguchi after he told you he couldn't go out today, the way he stopped answering you calls when you wanted to give him a haul of what you bought.

you decides to brush it off , ever since the start of your first year , tsukishima has been getting closer to his new volleyball teammates , maybe he had decided to change friendgroups , maybe you weren't enough for him anymore...but then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and it was already the first day of your second year in highschool

obviously you didn’t know the way he felt about you, that him distancing himself only equaled to his realization of his growing feelings for you. he couldn’t accept it, him liking loving someone ? and that someone had to be you ?? that just couldn’t be good. so the only logical solution to him was to disappear, maybe that way the way he was feeling would disappear too…

but tsukishima only found himself seeking you even more, he was seeking your presence , your unfunny jokes , your stupid smile that he just loved to see , he tried distracting himself with practice and hanging out with his teammates, he thought he’d get used to the feeling of something missing when you weren’t here. but boy was he wrong.

now that second year tsukishima stood in front of you in silence, his arrogance was quickly replaced by vulnerability as soon as he locked eyes with you, his best friend next to him quickly got the notice and left the two of you alone in the school’s empty hallway , he suddenly didn’t assume all those unanswered calls and texts , tsukishima opened and closed his mouth as if looking for the right words “i know i acted like an idiot.” he was gonna put his pride to the side for this, for you.

he told you everything— from the reason to why he ghosted you to how he realized he liked you, and you didn’t say a word until he finished , you had known him for so long yet this was the first time you saw tsukishima nervous, actually expressing how he feels. when he was done , he looked at you with an intense gaze waiting for an answer , anything— but you laughed, not because you were going to reject him but because he looked so out of it. of course he got pretty mad at your reaction but you didn’t reject him.

tsukishima preferred to keep your relationship on the low, he didn’t want it to be private, he wanted people to know you were off limits, but he hates showing off. but that changed over time, he was glad you continued to grow up together.

tsukishima thought it was endearing that the person he played hot wheels with was actually driving a car now, that he went from eating pretend food you made in your play kitchen to actually coming back to you and savoring the nice warm meal you made him.

both your families were over joyed when tsukishima finally agreed to let them know you had been dating for 3 (almost 4) years , your families were already pretty close thanks to your mothers being best friends but now they were even closer, holidays were spent together and dinners that were actually enjoyable were hosted more often.

he’s the type of boyfriend to be very attentive, very teasing, his teasing isn’t as mean as it was back in highshool, but he liked how affective it was on you. he’d tease when you mess up a word and kiss you if you got annoyed. tsukishima’s way of showing his love for you is act of service omg he just does everything for you and if you dare tell him “i could do it myself yk” he will hit you.

he still has the stupid little playlist you made him back in your first year of high school that he listens to when he gets nostalgic or when you argue.

a/n : HEY I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭🙏 i’m catching up on all the requests istg

[lozeyart]

What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart

Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.

But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).

JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.

This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).

I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)

I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).

Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.

Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).

All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart

But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).

But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.

Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.

I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)

Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.

[uceyliyahh]

IMPERFECT FOR YOU

summary: Miyori and Jey were in a relationship for three years until she saw him laid up with another girl that wasn’t her and it broke her heart so she decided block him on everything and focus on her career until she gets a text message from him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 5987

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Miyori

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

again mdni you have been warned.

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @li-da-savage @ctinadiva @clubsoft

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @lilucey @usoinked @christinabae

@celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @prettyfilmz

𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖔

uceyjucey replied to your story: Mamas where you heading? jonathanfatu replied to your story: see you when you get here sis! trinity_fatu replied to your story: imma come pick you up from the airport text me when you land! aaron_pierre1 replied to your story: tf you finna go see him huh? jaidaparker_wwe: ohhhh it's on sight bitch jazzyV replied to your story: TEXT ME WHEN YOU LAND SO I CAN MAKE SURE YOU DONT GET KIDNAPPED theshaderoom replied to your story: 👀👀 usofan200 replied to your story: finna go see Jey huh?

MIYORI I’ve just arrived in Indianapolis for Friday Night Smackdown! As I stepped off the plane, I had my backpack slung over my shoulder and my suitcase rolling beside me through the airport. I checked my phone and noticed a message from Trinity, along with a bunch of replies to my story, including one from Jaida.

I couldn't help but laugh at her response, realizing that she seemed ready to take action against me all because of Jey, when really, she should have been focused on her work to prevent this situation. I decided to share my location with Jasmine so she could keep an eye on me and ensure I was safe, and I also sent a message to Trinity.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: Heyyy Girly I'm made it to Indy Trin💚: I'm glad I'm otw to come get you Mimi💓: I'll be waiting outside for you then Trin💚: does Joshua know? Mimi💓: no he doesn't know I wanted to surprise him at work Trin💚: oh lawd he's going to be all over you by the time you hit that door Mimi💓: no literally also if something happens between me and that bitch Jaida you'll have my back right? Trin💚: wym? Did something happen? Mimi💓: she tryna fight me I'm down for anything tho she's just mad I got one up on her and I feel like that'll ruin the surprise Trin💚: I'll tell Jon to stall Josh for a while so y'all two can fight I bet money on you fr Mimi💓: Period I'm just that girl honestly Trin💚: aight I'll see you when I come get you Mimi💓: kk

While I was waiting for Trinity, I chose to stay in the lobby instead of waiting outside for her. I was aware that Jey had no idea I was in Indianapolis. Having visited the city a few times, I felt comfortable navigating my surroundings. As I waited for Trin, a fan approached me, wearing Jey's merchandise and beaming with excitement.

I gazed up at her, returning her smile as I listened to her words. "Are you Miss Miyori?" she inquired, and I responded with a nod.

"Would it be okay if we took a picture together?" The girl was incredibly sweet and innocent, making it impossible for me to refuse her. I nodded in agreement, rising from my chair and kneeling down to her level to capture a photo.

Her mother captured a few photos of us together, and afterward, I let out a sigh as I noticed the sign she had made for tonight's show.

"Thank you sooo much Miyori!" She said as she gave me a hug.

As I settled back into my seat and began scrolling through my social media, I waved goodbye to her. I was surprised to find that I was recognized by his fans; they appeared to be genuinely kind. However, I couldn't help but notice that some of them had a rather unusual presence online.

I heard a car horn and looked up to see Trin waving at me with a big smile as I was rolling my luggage outside. She quickly parked her car and rushed over, wrapping her arms around me in a warm hug.

Jimmy stepped out of the car and wrapped his arms around me, helping me with my luggage and backpack as we made our way to the backseat.

"Girrrrl it's been so long since I've seen you Mimi!" Trinity exclaimed as she smiled at me.

"I knowww we have to catch up on everything, where's Joshua?" I asked her.

"He's currently at the Marriott Hotel, and he has no idea you're here, right?" I nodded, confirming that he was completely unaware of my presence. "That guy has been making a fool of himself over you during this tour. Did he mention that he and Jaida had a fight because of you?" I was surprised to hear that; he hadn't mentioned any argument with her related to me. It made sense now why she had been acting out a few days ago, saying some wild things.

"He didn't tell me that but it's all good because if she wanna be tough I'll let her be tough." I said while folding my arms around my chest.

Jimmy then entered the car, making his way to the passenger seat and joining in on our conversation.

"Let's pray that he doesn't get you pregnant tonight Mimi." As we drove away from the airport toward the downtown hotel, Jimmy made a joke that had Trinity playfully hitting him on the shoulder, which made me chuckle.

☞ As I settled into my hotel room, I snuggled into the bed, pulling the blanket around me for warmth. I switched on the TV, looking for something to keep me entertained. Just then, my phone chimed beside me, and I glanced at the screen to see a message from Jey. A wave of anxiety washed over me, hoping he wasn't aware that I was here watching him in action.

Joshua🖤 sent a message

Joshua🖤: hey mamas wyd?

I began texting him back.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: Hey Papa I'm not doing anything I'm just trying to find something to watch hbu? Joshua🖤: missin you right now Mimi💓: I miss you too don't worry you'll get to see me Joshua🖤: shi hopefully Mimi💓: but you gotta worry about your match for tonight Joshua🖤: hell yeah I know mamas also why Trin and Jon acting all weird today do you know sum that I don't? Mimi💓: nah I don't really know anything about that 🤷🏽‍♀️ Joshua🖤: you sure? Bc I'm hearing a certain someone is here  and they were very happy to see the person Mimi💓: Baby I don't know anything I swear Joshua🖤: aight if I find out that yo' ass lying Mimi💓: whatchu gonna do huh? Joshua🖤: fuck around and find out pretty thang Mimi💓: you so nasty Josh Joshua🖤: nasty for you though and yk you love it Mimi💓: mhm sure do Joshua🖤: I saw what you posted on your story wya? Mimi💓: I'm in Cali rn in a hotel room with Jasmine we finna go shopping in a little bit Joshua🖤: without me? Mimi💓: Omfg you're so cornyyy I told you you'll get to see me soon Joshua🖤: aight aight I'll let you go then I love you Mimi💓: I love you too

He had no idea that I was planning to go shopping with Trinity today before we headed to the stadium for Friday Night Smackdown. I sent Trinity a quick text to let her know I’d be ready soon so that Jey wouldn’t suspect anything about my being here.

I rose from my bed and made my way to my suitcase, searching for some clothes to wear today. I'm excited to finally catch up with my friend Trin; it feels like ages since we last saw each other—about four years, in fact, since I decided to block Jey on everything.

As I selected my clothes, I made my way to the bathroom to fill the bathtub with water. I gathered all my favorite scents and body wash, bringing them along with my towel to create a relaxing atmosphere.

uceyjucey replied to your story: without me mamas? trinity_fatu replied to your story: girl hurry up and come open the door before Joshua figure out where I'm at jonathanfatu replied to your story: don't get caught up Mimi jazzyV replied to your story: ouuuu girl you already enjoying yourself theshaderoom replied to your story: Miyori in Indy? 👀👀

I opened the door to find Trinity waiting for me, just as I was putting the finishing touches on my look. I applied some lip gloss, rubbing my lips together to create that satisfying "pop" sound.

"How's he holding up?" I begin to say while grabbing my purse and phone.

"Girl, he keeps on looking at your photos on his phone, he's fine he don't know a thing unless Jon say something to him." Trinity replied while rolling her eyes.

"If he does, we both get to jump him together, deal?" Me and her chuckled at my comment while heading outside the door together.

As Trin and I finished our shopping, we headed over to the food court to grab a bite to eat. Just then, I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I saw Jaida standing there, her arms crossed and a stern look on her face.

I gently tapped Trin on the shoulder and gestured towards Jaida, sharing a knowing smirk with her. I had a feeling this was bound to happen.

"Well, well, well if it ain't the slut that took my man." Jaida said as I snickered at her.

"Girl, are you really going to fight me over a nigga that was mine in the first place?" I retorted while folding my arms over my chest.

I noticed her gathering her hair into a ponytail and removing her hoop earrings, signaling that she was serious about what was to come. If she was ready to take that step, I figured I should follow suit. I set my bags down on the ground, tied my hair back, and stretched my neck from side to side, preparing myself for whatever she had in store. I was ready to see what would happen next.

"He was never yours in the first place bitch, I don't know how you can just magically appear in his life again and try to take him away." She attempted to swing at me, but I was quick enough to evade her, pushing her back firmly and nearly making her lose her balance and fall to the ground.

"You sound fucking stupid right now." In that moment, she charged at me, reaching for my hair, but in the heat of the struggle, I instinctively seized hers and brought her down to the floor. Gasps filled the air as I found myself on top of her, forcefully pressing her head against the ground.

In the midst of the struggle, I found myself defending against her attempts to fight back. I could sense that I had the advantage, and as we grappled, we ended up with her on top of me. I instinctively shielded my body and face, trying to protect myself from her blows.

I shoved her away from me as I stood up to adjust my hair, grabbing her hair in the process. I swung my fist at her, landing hit after hit to assert my dominance. Just then, someone intervened and pulled us apart. Jaida was shouting and hurling insults at me, but I simply responded by giving her the finger.

I was able to tidy up my hair while gathering my belongings, including my food. I told Trin that we should leave before things took a turn for the worse and spoiled the surprise. Thankfully, no one recorded what happened between us; it would have completely derailed my plans to see him.

I spent some time in Trin and Jimmy's hotel room, waiting for the moment to head to the stadium for Friday Night Smackdown. I felt a wave of nerves wash over me, particularly because I was uncertain about how Jey would feel about my presence, especially as I made my way backstage to the locker room he shares with Jimmy.

"So basically you whooped her ass at the mall?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah, sure did, I mean she deserved it talking all of that shit on the gram." I said while touching up my makeup.

"I hope nobody recorded it, because then Josh will just know that you're here and have been lying to him about your whereabouts." He said.

I agreed with a nod, fully aware that if anyone found out, it would ruin the entire surprise. Still, I wasn't too worried; I knew he would find a way to reach me, no matter what.

I couldn't help but wonder what he planned to do about Jaida. I know he's been putting in a lot of effort for me lately, but she's still in the picture. I really need him to make it clear that I'm the one he wants to be with, not her. It just doesn't feel right to me to get back together with someone who's involved with someone else, so I hope he can find a way to end that situation.

If this was going to work out again she had to be gone.

I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly time for us to leave. Just then, we all heard a familiar knock at the door—Jey's knock. I exchanged looks with Trin and Jim, who both urged me to hide in the bathroom. Without hesitation, I followed their cue.

I shut the door behind me while placing my ear on the door listening to their conversation.

"Is y'all fools ready or what?" Jey asked.

"Yeah, we ready nigga over her rushing us." Trinity replied while grabbing her luggage with all of her attires in it.

That's when he started to smell the room a bit noticing that it smelt like my perfume.

"Why it smell like Mimi been in here? Is y'all hiding something from me that I need to know about?"

"Nigga you trippin out again c'mon before we are late boy."

I cracked the bathroom door just enough to see Jimmy motioning for me to join him. I quickly grabbed my phone and purse, hurrying to catch up with him. It’s amazing how he can always tell what perfume I wear when I’m around him; I honestly thought I was in trouble.

We arranged for Jey and Jimmy to sit together in the car while Trin and I drove separately, ensuring that Jey wouldn’t suspect anything. I settled into the passenger seat, patiently waiting for Trin to load her belongings into the trunk so we could head to the stadium.

I was browsing through my social media, catching up on what everyone was discussing. I noticed Jaida making some comments about getting into a fight at the mall. She didn’t name anyone, but it was clear to me she was referring to me. I couldn’t help but find it a bit funny that she was so eager to confront me over a guy who has been mine from the start.

I heard Trinity coming inside of the car as I looked at her with a smile before chuckling.

"Girl, yo' ass almost got caught." She said.

"Aye at least I ran towards the bathroom before yall could let him in, I can't believe that he could smell my perfume in the room did I put too much on?" I say.

"Maybe..." I pushed her gently as we began driving away towards the placed.

As we made our way to the stadium, I gazed out the window, admiring the stars and the moon illuminating the night sky. It was a beautiful sight that brought back memories of a date with Jey, where we playfully teased each other, each trying to see who would give in first. That night was filled with so much laughter and excitement.

Being in his embrace once more brought me a sense of safety and calm that I never experienced with Aaron. Jey had a way of making me feel cherished and secure, something I truly missed. Despite his mistakes, I could feel that he loved me deeply, and that understanding stayed with me.

My thoughts were being interrupted by Trinity asking me something which caught me off guard showing my attention. "What's up?"

"I said that "miss you" sex finna hit different tonight between the two of you." I rolled my eyes at her knowing that she was right about that, he was going to spilt me in half once he gets his hands on me it's over with.

"That's what happens when you let a man like him crash out over a person like me he needs to understand that I'm the prize that he wants to get." I said.

"Period as you should let him know, that you're the prize, I like this new Mimi she's so exciting and daring." This new aspect of myself feels both thrilling and risky, and I genuinely enjoy it. However, I realize that whenever I'm near that man, all of that confidence tends to fade away.

As we arrived at the location, I stayed in the car, wanting to ensure everything was set before making my move. Once Trinity signaled me, I stepped out, clutching my purse and phone tightly. I made my way into the building, heading straight toward the area where the wrestlers were gathered.

I strolled through the backstage area, observing various wrestlers preparing for the show, each one donning their unique outfits. As I wandered around, I unexpectedly bumped into Roman Jey's cousin.

"Yo! Mimi what's good girl!" Roman said as me and him hugged each other. "What'chu doing here girl?"

"I'm here to watch Jey's match tonight, technically I'm surprising him he doesn't know that I am here right now."  I said as he shook his head chuckling at me.

"Man y'all two are something else is yall getting back together? I had seen something between you two on a date?" I nodded my head answering his question telling him how I was making his cousin work for it since he did what he did to me four years ago. "Damn, sounds like ya'll two finna have a good time together then but I gotta finish getting ready so I'll see you around?"

I smiled and embraced him before we went our separate ways. After that, I found my way to Jey and Jimmy's locker room, and I was struck by how beautifully it was decorated, with red and blue LED lights illuminating the space in a way that was truly unique.

I set my purse on the sofa beside me and settled into the leather seat, making myself comfortable. As I glanced up at the TV, I noticed that the show was just about to begin.

☞ Jey's victory over Drew was exhilarating and seeing him all sweaty and catching his breath only intensified my feelings for him. I quickly messaged Jimmy, asking him to hold off on entering the locker room for a moment, so Jey and I could share a special moment together.

iMessage 💬 Mimi💓: Papa Joshua🖤: what's up mamas? Mimi💓: C'mere and come see me Joshua🖤: baby girl how am I supposed to come see you when you all the way in Cali mamas? Mimi💓: I'm not in Cali baby Joshua🖤: 🤨 then wya? Mimi💓: come to the locker room and find out 🙂‍↕️ Joshua🖤: Mimi don't fucking play with me aight Mimi💓: why would I be playing baby? C'mere Joshua🖤:  I'm otw and you better not move a damn inch either Mimi💓: I gotchu baby

I stood by the locker room, eagerly anticipating his arrival, knowing he was sprinting over to see his baby girl. As I waited, a text from Jimmy popped up on my phone, and it had me laughing uncontrollably.

Big Jim 🫡 sent a message

Big Jim🫡: don't get pregnant tonight sis he's been a rapid dog all damn week on this tour

As I responded to him, I heard the door creak open and looked up to find him gazing down at me. A smile spread across my face as I set my phone down on the couch and moved closer to him. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms and legs around his waist, and he gently pressed me against the wall, our lips meeting in a tender kiss.

The kiss was intense and full of longing, his tongue exploring my mouth while his body pressed against mine, radiating warmth. When I attempted to pull away, just as I had before, he drew me back in, craving the connection he felt he had been missing.

"You been playing huh?" He murmured between the kiss.

"I don't know what you talking about baby." I murmured back.

A playful smile crept onto his lips as he broke the kiss, his gaze locked onto mine. I found myself lost in his deep, chocolate-brown eyes, which seemed to peer right into my soul, filled with an undeniable desire.

I looked up at him with a playful smile, my eyes reflecting innocence, as he gently pressed another tender kiss to my lips. After that, he set me back on my feet, his hands resting on my waist, his thumbs softly gliding over my curves.

"Yo' ass been playing hide and seek with my ass, had me thinking you was actually in Cali."

"I wanted to surprise you Papa, I came all the way out here to see you." I said rubbing my hands over his chest.

"Mhmm I can see that mamas, does that mean I get my prize then?" Jey glanced at me with a playful smirk, his hands sliding down to my hips, giving them a firm squeeze as he drew me nearer to him.

The closeness of our noses intensified the electric tension in the air, each moment amplifying the desire between us. It was clear how much he longed to pull me closer and whisk us away to the hotel room.

"Have you been a good boy? For mama?" As I cradled his chin, my voice took on a gentler quality, contrasting with my usual tone. I brushed my thumb lightly against his cheek and let my fingers glide through his hair, giving it a slight tug that elicited a soft groan from him.

"Hell yeah, got me out here crashing out over you little girl acting a damn fool, you gon gimme what's mines." His voice was low and rough, sending a wave of anxiety through me every time he spoke to me in that way.

It caused me to tilt my head at him a little bit while smirking at him, "give you what yours? Do you really deserve it Papa?" His hand gently encircled my throat, drawing me nearer to him.

"I fucking do deserve all of this, who do you take me for little girl?" He lifted me onto his shoulders before I had a chance to say anything, snatching my phone and purse in the process. With one hand, he opened the car door, all while carrying me toward the vehicle.

The people around us were staring at him as if he were crazy, but he paid no attention to their judgment. All that mattered to him was me. Once we reached the car, he opened the back door and climbed in, slamming it shut behind him. Thankfully, the tinted windows provided us with a little privacy, shielding us from prying eyes.

"Take this shit off now." He demanded as I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Are you fucking crazy? We are literally in the garage Joshua anyone could hear us." I said as he tilted his head at me while licking his lips.

"I don't give a damn take these fucking clothes off now, don't make me repeat myself again." I decided to challenge his patience as I reclined with my arms crossed, gazing intently at him. He chuckled softly, fully aware of his own sexual frustration, while I reveled in the playful mind games I was orchestrating.

He gave a single nod, and in that moment, I realized he was about to unleash his fury on me.

(SMUT WARNING)  -  CAR SEX MIYORI AND JEY Jey had Miyori locked in by his thighs as he was French kissing her pussy swirling his tongue around her clit causing her to squirm devouring her like his life depended on it knowing how badly his missed this he couldn't wait.

She was squirming all over the place trying to keep quiet so that no one could hear her soft moans coming out from her lips but Jey didn't like it not one bit he wanted to hear her moan his name.

"Let me hear you baby girl, don't hide those moans from me." He groaned out in the open gazing up at her.

He was pulling onto her folds slowly before going back inside lapping his tongue into her empty hole that was aching for his tongue to be on.

His tongue was perfectly darting and twirling around over her moist cunt hearing her soft moans that he loved to her from her pretty lips.

He was giving her slow, steady laps around her clit sucking her swollen clit off the bone causing her to pull back from him only for him to pull her right back in where he wanted her to be.

Miyori found herself clenching in and out every single time his tongue would touch her clit it was having on edge right now, she had her eyes rolling in the back of her head letting her body relax at his touch.

Jey slowly sticked two fingers inside her wet cunt curling them up just perfectly hitting her g-spot in every way he could causing her to clench around his fingers.

"Mhmm, keep doing that shit mamas."

"Josh...ouuu shit." Miyori moaned while gazing down at him seeing him go crazy on her clit.

His fingers were pumping in and out of her as she felt a deep pit go down her stomach but knowing how he was he wasn't going to let her cum not just yet.

That's when he pulled his fingers out of her causing her whine out of annoyance giving him a glare he knows how much she hates edging on. "Joshuaaa what the fuck." Jey had pulled her onto his lap stroking his dick up and down seeing pre-cum coming out from the tip.

"C'mon and ride this dick for me Ma." Jey said.

Miyori grabbed his thick length with her tiny hands as she stretched behind her, slowly placing him into her wet cunt, she gradually lowered herself onto him. Suddenly within in seconds he drove his cock within her  warmth, causing a soft moan to escape her lips.

"Mhmm, C'mon you got it mamas." Jey had wrapped his arms around her waist watching her slowly bounce on his dick up and down feeling his whole entire length stretch her out.

She wrapped her arms around his neck slamming her hips down on him moaning his name like no other.

"Joshuaa, fuckk." She moaned softly.

He placed his lips onto hers as they both began tongue kissing each other the kiss was nasty, and slow while her pussy was swallowing him whole letting their tongues fight it out for dominance.

Jey hands slither down onto her thick ass cheeks gripping on both of them guiding her movements while whacking one of her ass cheeks.

The car began to shake making squeaks here and there as she continued to throw her ass in circles on his thick cock it had her seeing stars at this point the way his dick was messing up her insides.

"Ouuu, dadddy, you've been working so hard for mama." She murmured between the kiss earning another slap on the ass.

Her hands tangled up into his curls yanking on them causing a groan to escape his lips knowing how badly he liked that shit from her.

"Hell yeah I'm doing this for you mamas, fuck this pussy is so good fo' me." He grips onto her ass cheeks so tightly feeling his nails digging into her ass continuing to guide her movements.

With every single push his dick was kissing her cervix so good to point where her milky substances started coating up his dick making it so easy for him just to slide in and out her like a water slide.

Miyori's thighs began burning at the sensation riding him harder as she pulled away from the kiss throwing her head back in pleasure letting him have access to her neck that was available trailing kisses down her jawline towards her neck sucking on it marking what belong to him in the first place.

"Daddy, ouuu, daddy."

"What's up ma? Daddy is right here baby girl, You love me huh?" He growled as she nodded her head knowing that she loved him deeply nobody else but him.

Jey had wrapped his strong arms around her keeping her in place so that she wouldn't go nowhere began thrusting his hips from the bottom.

Their bodies collided with each other hearing nothing but skins slapping against each other along with the windows fogging up she could write her name on it despite it being tinted. He felt her pussy clenching around him while she held onto him tightly sucking on his neck leaving traces of hickies on his neck.

Jey had her where she needed to be like always.

"Oh my Goddd, Joshuaaa you're fucking me so good." Miyori mewled out.

"Tell me that you love me ma, tell daddy that you belong to him and only him."

She couldn't even get the words out of her mouth by the way he was fucking her senselessly feeling the tip of his dick hit her soul so badly causing him to smirk at the sight of her. "Got nothing to say huh? This dick got you looking stupid huh mamas?" He was talking his shit while being deep and deep inside of her.

His hips continuously hit her g-spot sharper and deeper as she let out a cry while her orgasm had washed over her feeling herself juices flowing out of her like a water fall along with her body shaking underneath him.

He was whispering nasty and vulgar words Into her ear praising her in every way he could to let it be known that she was his and he was hers nobody couldn't stop them from being together.

Miyori had tears falling down her eyes due the sensitivity that she was feeling at the moment after her intense orgasm that she just had while he was pounding deeply into her sensitive cunt continuously.

"T-too M-muchh, too F-fucking m-muchh." She whimpered as Jey kissed her on the cheek.

"Take this fucking dick like a big girl Ma, gimme yo' body mamas relax." He cooed at her.

"I-I C-can't.." Jey was losing himself being inside of her warmth with his strokes getting more sloppier and forceful by the second felt his dick twitching inside of her. "Fuck I'm finna nut, you gon' let me nut in you mamas?"

She managed to smirk gazing into his eyes, "do you think you deserve to nut in this pussy daddy?" She was testing his patience at this point he was done playing this game with her he knew where he stand with her.

He wrapped his hand around her throat fucking her insides relentlessly seeing her eyes roll in the back of her skull and the other hand gripping onto her ass.

"This my pussy right? Imma fucking nut in it whenever or wherever I fucking want Mimi you're mine." He growled.

He fucked her like no other person matters in the world not even Jaida he didn't care who heard them or who didn't it was just her and him together.

That's when he dipped his hips filling her to the brim with his warms seeds as he drained thick ropes after ropes inside of his nut buried deep inside of her, it almost felt like he was drowning in her. They both swallowed each other's moans.

He pulled out from her while holding her close to his body never letting her go as they stay like that for a moment catching each other's breaths.

SMUT OVER.

As I stepped back from him, our eyes locked, and I could sense the sincerity in his gaze about wanting to begin anew, free from any distractions. My fingers found their way into his hair, giving it a gentle tug as I leaned in, allowing our kiss to unfold softly and slowly.

As his hands glided over my curves, we became enveloped in a kiss that felt unlike any we had shared before. This moment was infused with deeper significance, as if he were searching for a piece of himself that he found in me.

"I missed you so much Ma, fuck." Jey murmured between the kiss.

"I missed you too baby." I murmured back.

He pressed against my back, drawing me nearer to him, holding on tightly. The cool breeze brushed against our skin, and in that moment, we felt an even deeper bond between us.

We gently separated, savoring the moment as I smiled at him, and he returned the gesture, proudly displaying his grills.

"You done playing this game or what? Because I fucking earned it." He says.

I gently held his chin, my thumb softly gliding over his cheek.  "what about Jaida? I need to know where she stands in all of this, if not then imma just have to keep playing this earning game with you." He rolled his eyes at me while smacking his lips.

"We are done me and her are over with after the day she slapped me I just knew where that relationship was heading I want you Mimi I fucking earned it." He leaned in forward placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "you sure? Because I don't need someone texting me saying "hey girly" like I'll be pissed."

"Yes I'm positive I didn't do all of this hard work and playing games with yo' ass just to do allat I want us to work it out together Mimi."

I enjoyed playing with him, knowing it would challenge his patience, even though he truly loves it and would go to great lengths for me. "I'll think about it." I teased hearing him sighing deeply as I chuckled at him. "I'm playing baby, I'm playing you know you got me wrapped around your fingers."

"Damn right I do, can I take you out tonight?" I immediately nodded my head to the idea.

IMPERFECT FOR YOU

uceyjucey, miyorisworld, jazzyV, jaidaparker_wwe, and others liked the post.

TheShadeRoom: Looks like Jey Uso and #MiyoriJordan are back together after posting each other on their stories what's next for them? Stay Tuned In. jaidaparker_wwe: stupid ass bitch imma get you next time hoe miyorisworld: @ jaidaparker_wwe: it won't be a next time hon im praying for you tho 🫶🏽 jazzyV: yessss they're finally back together usofan203: WE ARE SO UPPPP jeyusofannnz: good I'm glad I started to get bored of him and Jaida anyways romanreigns: finally knocked some sense into his head jonathanfatu: FINALLY DID HE GET U PREGNANT? uceyjucey: @ jonathanfatu don't pmo... trinity_fatu: let's keep it that way aaron_pierre1: what the actual fuck

Read all comments.

uceyjucey, jazzyV, jonathanfatu, and others liked your post.

miyorisworld: I got one up on you hoes 😘 uceyjucey: so fucking gorgeous mamas 😩😩 miyorisworld: @ uceyjucey all yours Papa 💋 trinity_fatu: so beautiful girl jonathanfatu: did he get you knocked up? miyorisworld: @ trinity_fatu come get yo damn husband like neow aaron_pierre1: you can't be serious right? he'll just cheat on you again uceyjucey: @ aaron_pierre1 why you worrying bout it? She ain't with you she's with me now jaidaparker_wwe: she doesn't have shit on me miyorisworld: @ jaidaparker_wwe: apparently i do hon jazzyV: PERIOD rikishi: my daughter in law ❤️ miyorisworld: @ rikishi heyyy pops 🫶🏽

A/n: the drama between the exes are getting more interesting yall think something is going to happen between Jey and Aaron?

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below ⬇️

STAY UCEY.

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (10)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 9 // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 10) — NASHVILLE

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liked by bestfriend, harryfan15, gemmastyles and 706,789 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago, IL. 

View all 75,678 comments  harryfan39 EXCUSE ME??? SIR?????? harryfan235 🥵🥵🥵 harryfan991 I WAS WAITING FOR A CHICAGO POST  BUT DAMN I WAS NOT WAITING FOR THIS  harryfan75 this is hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot harryfan73 did harry basically left the stage in nashville and thought “shit i forgot to post about chicago”? lol

↳ harryfan77 let’s give him a break he was busy in Chicago 🤭 ↳ harryfan73 oh yeah thats right. yn kept him busy.

harryfan29 sooooo…. is there any chance yn took these? lol

↳ harryfan28 is there any chance you people can at least for once acknowledge Anthony’s job? you talk as if he didn’t even exist is so freaking disrespectful to his own talent and experience  ↳ harryfan29 …. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful to Anthony it was just a joke  ↳ harryfan28 well then be more careful about the things you joke about 

harryfan70 😮‍💨 thank God we have Anthony !  harryfan123 SHOW WAS SO GOOD TONIGHT  harryfan99 come back pls Chicago already misses you :(  harryfan192 boy you look fine 😮‍💨 harryfan1 where is yn i need to know if she was around when this happened

↳ harryfan35 don’t worry I bet she was  ↳ harryfan43 yeah! probably is there after tonight’s show as well 😌 ↳ harryfan1 LMAO guys nooooooo ↳ harryfan1 i asked because i need to know if she got to film this moment so i can ask for the footage!! was thinking about ME not her LMAOOOO  ↳ harryfan3 AHHHHH  ↳ harryfan3 GOOD THINKING YES  ↳ harryfan3 i need a movie of harry taking a bath in my desk by tomorrow pls ↳ harryfan53 ＠yourinstagram please !!!! ↳ harryfan98 FINALLY!!! 😭 people need to understand that i want her to follow him around 24/7 bc i want her to film him 24/7 that’s all!!! idgaf if they’re dating or not!!!!

harryfan96 harry are you ok? blink if you need help ! we are here for you !! we love you !!  harryfan345 THANK YOU ANTHONY 🙏 real ones know who the real one is

Sep 29, 2021 • 

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yourinstagram I wasn’t sure whether to bring up my mom’s birthday or not, but I just hung up the phone with her for the fourth time today, and I realized I couldn’t go to bed without shouting to the world how much I love her. The woman who started everything for me. My existence, my passion for filming, and even my career. I wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t carried me for 9 months in her belly, but I also wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t loved & supported me through all these years, if she hadn’t encouraged all my dreams, or if she hadn’t so excitedly agreed to let me film her during such a vulnerable moment and then share it on a YouTube channel for strangers to watch. It is only fitting that her video was the one that changed my life, and maybe that’s why it has been so hard to stay away today. It’s not the first time we spent a celebration apart from each other, but it is definitely the time I miss her the most. 

So at the end of the day, this isn’t a post to say happy birthday to my mom, because I’ve said it (and sung it) to her multiple times today. But it is a post to let everyone know that I think my mom is the best mom in the world, that I admire her, and that she inspires me everyday. 

And whilst there are a lot of things that I want to keep private about me and my personal life, the love I have for her will never be one of them. ❤️

view all 8,118 comments  bestfriend you have me in tears ❤️  bestfriend btw I called her this afternoon and we spent 20 minutes gushing about you 

↳ yourinstagram yeah ↳ yourinstagram I’ve heard all about it already  ↳ bestfriend really? ALL about it? 👀  ↳ yourinstagram 🙄 ↳ bestfriend hahaha ooooops!  ↳ harryfan3 hi! hello! please let me in!! ↳ harryfan9 ohhh now I’m curious!! loll what did you talk about?  ↳ harryfan7 for real tho 😩 

user25 👏👏 very well written! You’re very lucky to have such a positive connection with your mother, and she’s very lucky to have a daughter that appreciates her. Happy birthday to your mom, and lots of love to you both!

↳ yourinstagram thank you! ❤️ I feel very lucky, indeed!

user1 ahh, i still go back to that video from time to time! love it so much! it isn’t the one that started everything for me, but im proud to say i was already here to see how it changed your life. crazy to think how different things are now! but im happy to see that you have such a beautiful support system to get you through all this madness! im sure your mom is amazing, because she raised an amazing daughter! <3

↳ yourinstagram thank you for being here all along ❤️ it really means a lot!

harryfan5 these pictures!! AGHHH! SO PRETTY! and so aesthetically pleasing!! 

↳ yourinstagram right? always thought she had the coolest pictures, and im pretty sure thats what pushed me into this path haha thanks, Emma! ❤️ ↳ harryfan9 !!!!!!! girlllllll  ↳ ynharryenthusiast not the “Emma” at the end 😭 ↳ harryfan5 😭😭😭 ILYSM

harryfan60 am I the only who saw Harry calling yn out during the show tonight? the man had to ask a million times for her to film the gender reveal LMAO harryfan60 imagine your boss not trusting you do to your job I’D FOLD user5 What a beautiful, emotional post! harryfan22 now that you proved you know how to properly spell words why don’t you stop writing so many stupid captions?  annetwist Happy birthday to your mum! ❤️ harryfan11 yn interacting with us????? did we go back in time??

↳ user2 lol tell me about it! I miss the old times every time she posts now ↳ user13 yeah :( then the trolls arrived and once again ruined all the fun  ↳ harryfan17 istg these people can’t even respect her mother’s birthday…  ↳ harryfan19 it blows my mind bc yn didn’t give them ONE SINGLE REASON for them to act like this!! AT ALL!!!

harryfan45 ＠HARRYSTYLES YOU KNOW WE CAN SEE YOU, RIGHT? 🤨 

↳ harryfan45 why don’t you just follow her? lol ＠harrystyles  ↳ harryfan44 because he doesn’t want to ↳ harryfan45 boohooo!! and yet here he is liking her post anyway, isn’t heeee  ↳ harryfan44 how do you know it’s him? it could be anyone behind his account ↳ harryfan45 sure thing hunnnn 😚

lookitsnyoh 🦥❤️

↳ paulithepsm 🦥❤️ ↳ pillowpersonpp 🦥❤️ ↳ mitchrowland 🦥❤️ ↳ _basselin 🦥❤️ ↳ glenne_azoff 🦥❤️ ↳ jefezoff 🦥❤️ ↳ mollyjane_x 🦥❤️ ↳ harryfan3 i loveeeee when they do this!!! ↳ harryfan15 i want to be part of this toooooooo 🦥❤️ ↳ harryfan9 all here but harry guys? did you forget to let him in? LOLLL 

harryfan44 How does your mom feel about your latest post? Bet she wouldn’t be proud of you as her daughter if she saw it ! Bet she’s embarrassed of you ! 

↳ harryfan5 omg wtf???? this is so disrespectful??? ↳ harryfan44 Yn was the disrespectful one when she mentioned the o word! ↳ user14 the “o word”? lmao how old are you?  ↳ harryfan27 wait whats the o word?  ↳ harryfan25 orgasm? i think? ↳ harryfan27 HAHAHAHA  ↳ user16 i have a theory that if you’re not comfortable enough to say the word orgasm then you’re not old enough to be online interacting with +25yo  ↳ harryfan27 orgasm ↳ harryfan27 orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm orgasm  ↳ harryfan29 orgasm!!! ↳ harryfan31 🤣  ↳ harryfan27 orgasm  ↳ harryfan27 orgasm orgasm  ↳ harryfan11 ORGASM!!!  ↳ bestfriend orgasm ↳ bestfriend also, please fuck the fuck off  ↳ bestfriend 🖕

Sep 29, 2021 • 

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liked by someone and 203,154 others 

popgossip HELLO LITTLE ONES! DID YOU MISS ME? POPGOSSIP AT YOUR SERVICE AGAIN! 

Hours ago I was gifted by a follower with a one-time only opportunity to get back into business, so I immediately reached out to my favorite human (that shall forever remain anonymous to you) and gathered some fresh and exclusive info for you. 

And as you’ll see, I am not only coming back after the longest state of hibernation, but I am also coming back with the yummiest popstar of them all: HARRY STYLES! 😍🤤

YES, YES, YES! THAT’S RIGHT! For once I got to play detective in a story involving him, the one and only, Harry Styles!

I barely got a taste of it, but things got so interesting and fun already that I’m determined to dive into these mysteries with all I have! 

For now, these are the screenshots that I gathered, but the digging isn’t over yet so follow me if you want to get updated on every detail about Harry Styles’ life 📨

FINALLY, the info I have for you is 100% exclusive and fresh, so buckle up guys!

Sincerely, 

🕵‍♂️🔎🕵‍♀️.

view all 20,909 comments  someone1 OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE BACK someone2 shit I forgot how much intell you used to share with us harryfan49 STOP THIS IS ABOUT HARRY AND YN!!!!!!! harryfan77 is this from tonight? 😲 are we supposed to believe in it?

↳ harryfan3 I wouldn’t pay too much attention to it ↳ harryfan11 even if they’re saying yn was crying???  ↳ harryfan3 yes, because actually it’s not up to us to know if/when she cries or not.

ynharryenthusiast this is actually so disrespectful to harry and yn. please leave them alone.  harryfan44 are you telling me this isn’t exactly what yn wanted?  harryfan44 if she didn’t want anyone to know about her crying, then she shouldn’t have cried in public space !! harryfan77 at least they left yn’s picture out of the screenshot 

↳ user7 after exposing her like this it’s the least they can do 

harryfan196 ＠popgossip remember when you used to do that thing of reading people’s theories and fact checking them?!! 😉😏

↳ harryfan196 so my theory is that yn saw the comments on her last post and got upset so she went outside and called her friend or maybe her mom then someone from the band told harry about it and that’s why he chased her and why he wanted to talk about it and she didn’t !!!!!!!! why she didn’t want him to see her crying !!!!!!! ↳ popgossip On it, babe! 🔎

Sep 29, 2021 • 

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liked by harryfan13, harryfan99, harryfan71, and 3,321 others 

harryupdates More lucky fans just met Harry in Nashville! He also took some time to facetime their cousin (who’s also a fan!). 

view all 507 comments  harryfan88 WTF GUYS?? 😭 am I the only one who isn’t in nashville meeting harry right now?? harryfan17 harry spending the day with tyler and meeting fans is so soft harryfan17 dont ask me why i cant explain it but i think it is okay. it really is harryfan20 was anyone brave enough to ask if Yn was actually crying and sobbing like a baby last night? lollll  harryfan5 THAT’S LUCYYYYY GUYSSS harryfan5 LUCY IS THE SWEETEST OMG harryfan5 SHE DESERVES IT SOOOOO MUCH! :’)  harryfan25 the way harry always makes people feel special and heard and seen <3 harryfan24 👏👏 harryfan24 i stand by what i said: the day is better when yn isn’t around!!

↳ harryfan32 i noticed that, too!  ↳ harryfan24 yeah!! look how many fans got to meet him bc she wasn’t there  ↳ harryfan9 whyyyyyy are you guys so obsessed with her omg!! ↳ harryfan24 i’m not obsessed i’m just happy harry got rid of her 😚 ↳ harryfan7 lol sure hun! let’s see what happens tomorrow for show 2 in nashville, then ↳ harryfan24 at least you admit he only cares about her during shows LOL

harryfan31 i cant love this man any more than i already do 😭 my heart srsly cant take it harryfan139 he doesn’t look ok :(

↳ harryfan6 🙄 you can’t even see his face ↳ harryfan139 i know… but something in his eyes doesn’t seem right :( ↳ harryfan48 he’s worried because his fake gilfriend’s friend was rude to his fans. he doesn’t want to be with her anymore but it’s being forced to anyway! ↳ harryfan5 holy molly now THAT’S a way to tell the story lmaooooo 

harryfan42 CAN WE PLEASE STOP IGNORING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM? harryfan42 YN WAS SEEN CRYING LAST NIGHT AND HARRY CLEARLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT AND NOW SHE WASN’T SEEN WITH HIM ALL DAY EVEN THOUGH SHE NORMALLY IS FOLLOWING HIM EVERYWHERE 24/7

Sep 30, 2021 • 

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ynupdates 👀🔥

Anthony Pham (Harry Styles Tour photographer) just posted on instagram and tagged ＠yourinstagram. 

She then reposted the story and added a caption to the picture: “hey mom, i hope this will make you proud”. 

I think it’s pretty safe to assume they’re hanging out together, and that Yn’s words are a dig to some of the comments she got on her last post. 

Now the question that remains is: is that Yn’s ass? 😅

view all 31 comments user5 you have absolutely no idea how much I love this user5 like I swear I respect her silence and privacy to death, but ngl it’s been so hard to watch lol harryfan5 DAAAAAMMMNNNN YN  harryfan11 respectfully, 💋💋💋 harryfan23 hey cowboy ＠harrystyles  bestfriend i can 100% confirm, that’s her ass!  bestfriend i can also 100% confirm that’s her mom’s new background now

↳ ynharryenthusiast THANK YOU  ↳ harryfan23 you’re the real queen babe ↳ harryfan17 please never leave us

Sep 30, 2021 • 

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liked by user5, harryfan7, user13 and 97 others

ynupdates Good morning guys! Anthony and Yn are at it again lol 

Tonight Harry Styles performs in Nashville one more time, meaning Yn will be there filming and doing her job! 

We’re loving to see she’s speaking up but also handling things with humor, and we hope she knows there are a lot of people supporting her, too ❤️

view all 11 comments user9 not them making fun of people who say she doesn’t know how to do her job LMAO harryfan3 she really said i’m done holding back didn’t she :’)  harryfan7 I LOVE THIS SIDE OF HER user11 everyone around him loves her and people just cant handle that!!  

Sep 30, 2021 • 

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PART 11 — (soon)

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[keyofmgy]

wip wednesday

this is so rough of a draft it's ridiculous, but I'm currently attemtping to temporarily conquer my executive dysfunction demons enough to put some Emmrook smut out into the world. post-Memorial Gardens date with inexperienced Rook and down-horrendously-bad Emmrich. I'm gonna go throw up now

I do ask that you at least avoid putting pressure on that stiff left wrist, Emmrich had said to Rook during their dinner in the Memorial Gardens, and he was thinking about it again now, as he watched her all but limp into the Lighthouse’s dining hall. She’d gone to the Anderfels with Davrin and Harding earlier, to help clear out some of the blight surrounding Lavendel. By the look of her, the work had gone beyond merely destroying boils and tentacles. Something heavy-hitting. Hopefully nothing worse than a particularly large specimen of darkspawn. Hopefully no more than one. But he doubted it. He sincerely doubted it. “Darling,” he said in greeting, setting his teacup down on the dining table. Rook shot him a weary but warm smile – the open affection in it still new enough that the sight shot a tingle of a thrill up Emmrich’s spine – but didn’t break her stride as she headed directly for the pot-bellied stove in the far corner of the room. “Hey, Emmrich. All quiet here?” “Of course.” He kept watching her, mentally cataloguing what he saw: the slumped set of her shoulders, the stiff line of her back, the leg she was resting a disproportionate amount of weight on. Responsibility exacts a toll on the body. “Are you all right?” “Yeah.” There was the sound of metal on stoneware, and hot water being poured over tea leaves. Then Rook turned around to face him, blowing out a long sigh, carefully cradling the twin to his own teacup in her hands. “Just a little sore. We got jumped by some darkspawn – nothing we couldn’t handle, though.” She grinned. “Evka can pull some serious moves with that hammer.” Emmrich instinctively smiled back (how could he not?) though he wasn’t quite feeling it; not only was Rook definitely favoring the one leg, she was also still favoring her left wrist. Even more so than she had been at dinner, in fact. But before he could open his mouth to say anything, she was pushing away from the stove, already on the move again, though she did make a detour to briefly rest her forehead against his. Probably, she was hoping to forestall any protest he might make about her needing to take the time to slow down and rest, and damn if it didn’t work perfectly. In that moment his senses were overwhelmed by the rush prompted by even that barest of physical contact – the hint of warmth where they touched, the tickle of her hair against his skin, the knowledge that if he tilted his face upwards just so he could kiss her (and she would allow it). The almost-sour drop of sensation from his chest to his gut when he made the split-second decision to deny himself that pleasure.  We can move slowly, he’d also said to Rook, and he had meant it. No matter that she made him feel like the absolute worst example of a besotted fool, like a horribly naive schoolboy after the high of a first kiss even: eager yet terrified and clumsy but wanting more all at the same time. No, he was the older, more experienced party in this wholly unexpected relationship, and he had a responsibility to Rook to conduct himself like it. He had to set an example. She deserved nothing less than a gentleman who would respect and cherish her – and if she ever settled for less, later in her life, it would be through no failing of his. (Of course Rook would have more lovers, after him. Emmrich wasn’t so idealistic as to believe himself her one and only. That blush of first love would pass, and she would move on. Surely she would never give any serious thought to binding herself to a middle-aged professor with delusions of grandeur, not when she was still so young. But oh, how he would treasure her while it lasted.) “I know what you’re going to say,” she murmured, and he couldn’t help the small intake of breath at the tenor of her voice. “But I’ve got some letters to write and send off. They can’t wait. I’ll rest soon. I promise.”

[dichenlachmandaily]

Spoilers follow for Severance season two episode seven, “Chikhai Bardo.”

No, “Chikhai Bardo” isn’t a bottle episode. Instead, Severance gave us something even better: answers. Tragic but legitimate answers. The latest episode confirms Gemma (Dichen Lachman) is alive and being held against her will on one of Lumon’s severed floors, having gotten there, as we see through flashbacks, after being marked by one of the company’s doctors (Robby Benson) at a fertility clinic. The episode bounces around the highs and lows of Mark (Adam Scott) and Gemma’s relationship — their meet-cute at a university blood donation drive, their surprisingly enjoyable dinners with Devon and Ricken, her miscarriage — interspersed with scenes of Gemma’s captive life following a car crash implied to be staged by the company. Inside Lumon, Gemma’s life is overseen by a nurse (Sandra Bernhard), who marches her through a rotation of severed doors and into rooms where her various Innies are forced to endure scenarios with Benson’s doctor that range from the annoying to the traumatic.

When Gemma’s mad dash of an escape plan — knocking the doctor unconscious and briefly reembodying Ms. Casey on another severed floor — fails at episode’s end, she seemingly resigns herself to a prisoner’s existence without parole. Lachman believes her character still has hope of being released and reuniting with her husband when the experiment concludes. “But they’re always changing the rules of the game for her,” she says. “They just keep moving the goalposts.”

As someone of the belief that Gemma was brain-dead and living as a subconscious entity, it was lovely to see her alive despite the awful circumstances surrounding her existence. When I read season one, I had that theory too. I didn’t quite understand what was happening. I was like, Has her brain been affected and they’re trying to rebuild her?

Did you know Gemma would get her own stand-alone episode when you first started filming Severance? I definitely wasn’t aware in season one that this would happen. As the scripts for season two started coming in, I was like, Oh, okay. I’m not in this episode, and I’m not in the next one. Did I do something wrong? Then Dan Erickson talked me through how it was going to play out. It was really exciting. At the same time, I felt a lot of pressure. I didn’t want to let the fans down. This is obviously something they’ve been waiting for. I was really scared.

What scared you the most?Having to jump between lighter and darker moments, and the scope of it was so large. Knowing we’d have a very limited time to do it and then doing the flashbacks on film. I know Jessica Lee Gagné, the director, had always envisioned using film and it was her goal. When I started my career, we used to shoot on film all the time, but then digital became the preferred medium because it never ends and there’s more freedom. With film, there’s only so much; you could run out in the middle of a scene. You don’t want to make a mistake because it’s an actual, physical thing an image is getting printed onto.

The big connection we get this episode is when Lumon’s doctor spots Gemma at a fertility clinic before her car accident. His eyes linger on her for a beat, but Gemma and Mark don’t clock him in the waiting area. Oh, you got that?

Not the first time!I’m so glad.

Can you tell me a bit about how this scene was staged?Jessica has been integral to setting the tone and mood of Severance. She’s phenomenally talented and has such a unique eye, but she’s really good at doing things subtly. That scene had a lot of technical stuff. One of the great things about that moment is that even though the shots, framing, and camerawork are really technical — more than I’ve ever done in my entire life on any show — it always goes back to how they can keep it real and grounded among all of that chaos. There was a lot of stuff they had to do and capture so the audience could have that little moment, which is so subtle, so I’m impressed you picked up on it. I just remember focusing on what Gemma was feeling and us talking about the mood and temperament.

Given what we learn about this doctor throughout the episode, what did you infer about the motivations behind Gemma’s staged death? Did this man target her specifically because of a weird infatuation, or is a fertility clinic just an ideal location for Lumon to scope out potential subjects? That fertility clinic is a place where they have access to people’s biometric data. I suppose it’s the perfect place to zone in on a target. The whole world they live in is filled with Lumon employees, businesses, and stuff like that. I have my own fan theories, but I think what you said — a place where they’re getting people’s blood and their DNA — is probably the best theory.

The other person Gemma interacts with is Sandra Bernhard’s nurse. How would you define their relationship? Are there any sympathies there? In my mind, her nurse has been there for a while. Sandra brought an incredible warmth to that role, even in playing a captor. She brought almost a motherly feeling to it even though it’s still very cold, controlled, and oppressive down there. Maybe it’s just her eyes. Or maybe she was working on something with the character that I wasn’t aware of, but their dynamic is really interesting. I think she has compassion for Gemma. She’s just doing her job, but there’s a humanity to her.

Inside those rooms, Gemma’s Innies are forced to play out different scenarios: A dental patient getting work done, a passenger in a crashing airplane, and a wife at Christmas forced to write thank-you notes. The doctor inquired if Gemma felt “despair” after leaving any of them. How do you view what this experiment is trying to accomplish? I think it’s leaning into something that’s happening within our culture, which is that we don’t want to experience anything unpleasant. To some degree, I totally understand. In season one, you have the birthing center. That’s one of the most painful things you could experience in your whole life — I would know. What if you could delegate that experience to someone so you didn’t have to go through the pain? Even though, as a human being, there’s some ownership of that. Going through it and having a connection to the child is so beautiful. But we kind of want to get on a prescription of not having to suffer. If you think of it from a pharmaceutical point of view, it’s like, “We’re just taking it up a notch. You hate going to the dentist? We’ve got you. We’ll send somebody else, but you’ll still be going to the dentist.” Or having the fear of flying. I know Dan loathes writing thank-you notes — not because he’s ungrateful but because sometimes it’s so hard to figure out what to say to express your gratitude. I’ve done this before when I’ve worked on a movie: I’ve written 80 thank-you notes to all the crew members and they all start sounding the same. You lose your creativity, and you’re struggling to figure out a way to say “thank you” in a different way so that if someone reads someone else’s card, they’re not like, Oh, this isn’t personal. It says the same thing.

So you don’t view this technology as being strictly malicious in intent? Yeah. It could go further, of course. That’s the thing with technology: The intention is always to make someone’s life a little bit easier. Then it becomes integrated into our life. Everything is a double-edged sword. It’s our job as human beings to try and find the balance. We’re in a world where we have AI and robots. We’re creating a world where we don’t even need to exist, in a way. What’s really cool about the show is it gets people to ask themselves about their relationship to technology or their relationship to having contrast in their life. You don’t get to experience pleasure, joy, or something that tastes really amazing if you don’t get the sad moments, too. When you’re severed, you don’t have contrast. The weekend isn’t as good because you’re perpetually experiencing only the good things. Those good feelings just become feelings and are not special anymore.

You get one of the best lines of the season when Gemma is being examined by that doctor after visiting some of the rooms: “Can you please just talk like a normal person?” She’s saying what viewers are thinking, and it made me laugh.The whole language is a bit culty. They have their own way of communicating. The words they use are so bizarre. I tried reading that line in many different ways and played with intensity. It was stretching me as an artist. I’ve never had the opportunity to explore and collaborate as much as I did on this show. I could have said “Can you please just talk like a normal person?” 15 or 16 times, maybe more, and every time it would’ve been a little different.

Did you get the sense Gemma had tried to escape before? There’s this comment Mr. Drummond gives the doctor midway through the episode about how she once tried to break his fingers. It struck me as very fight-or-flight. Yes. I picked up on that same line when I was reading the script. Jessica and I talked about it a lot. I think every now and then, Gemma has been like, Screw it. I’m going to go for it. I don’t care if I have to hit him over the head or break his hand. Then there are days where she feels like it’s pointless, but then she’ll get pushed and pushed harder and she’ll try again. She’ll never be able to escape. Her tolerance level will go back to baseline, and it’ll build up and she’ll try again.

We’ve seen how people involved in the severance program can be driven to madness; Helly tries to kill herself in the first season. Where does Gemma find the strength to continue on in this prison of a life? Based on the scenes she has with the doctor just before she hits him over the head, I feel like there’s been some promises made: “Oh, you just have to do this and that”; “Look, it’s for your own good”; “Now you just have to get through this.”

How many takes did you get to whack Robby with a chair? Was it oddly satisfying?You know what? That’s something we didn’t do as many times as some of the other scenes. It wasn’t too complicated. Robby is such an amazing person. He was lying on the floor for hours, just so dedicated to this role he was playing. The man is a machine. I felt really bad. I’m like, “Oh, Robby, I’m sorry.” It was just about getting the chair at the right angle so that we could sell it, because obviously I couldn’t hit him over the head.

At one point, Gemma directly asks the doctor what will happen when her Innie “sees all of the rooms.” What do you think will happen?Gemma thinks that when she’s done, she’ll get out of there and be free. That’s what she wants. Ultimately, toward the end, she resigns herself to being there. When she comes out of the elevator, knowing her escape plan didn’t work, she feels so broken. Well, that’s it. I’m never going to get out of here. That’s why she has to be picked up off the floor by Sandra’s character. In my head, when she’s tried to escape previously, she’s probably fought them all on the way out. Like, What am I doing back here? But when she falls to the floor into a puddle, calling Mark’s name, it’s just like, I can’t anymore. There’s nothing else I can do.

You previously portrayed a multiverse-programmed character in Dollhouse, which shares a few creative parallels to Severance. Your work in Altered Carbon also explored how consciousness can be “resleeved” into different bodies. What makes you excel at portraying so many distinctive personas in one human? Maybe I willed it into my life because I love exploring these concepts, I love science fiction, and I absolutely feel like it’s somewhere where my creativity thrives. I feel so blessed that I’ve gotten to do it in different eras. Altered Carbon is hundreds of years in the future, where severance technology has completely changed the way people live and given them the ability to live forever. Dollhouse is more contemporary. Severance is this timeless era. It’s quite strange and weird.

[anchorandrope]

Hiya! Do you think 28 is a Larry number or just a Louis number? I feel like cuz Louis is the one who has it tattooed and a brand named after it then maybe it’s a Louis number but idk. Harry has made subtle references to it through the timing of his music but it’s definitely more associated with Louis nowadays. Just curious on your thoughts!

hey!!

i think it's a larry number, but i also think louis made it very much his own over time because if that number symbolizes something related to harry (like whatever it symbolizes for them and also personally for louis - i.e his relationship, sexuality, etc; stuff that he's proud of but a lot of people told him otherwise yk "wonder what they'd think if they could see us now") it's something i think he took from 2015 onwards with everything that happened as a symbol of resistance/love/self-identity at a certain point.

what i mean is that the 28 was consolidated as a "louis' thing" in 2015 because until that year it was something, i'd say... quite fully larry (especially after 28/09/2013 - which is debunked) but it was something that even many antis said was "ours" (larries) and had nothing to do with louis. but when he got it tattooed in 2015, exactly 3 years after getting the ship and compass tattoo with harry, that started to became his own thing.

i think the 28 must mean something about them to each other but that must be a couple of things, and im also quite inclined to think that the "section 28" (01/02/1991-18/11/2003) plays a part in the significance as well. for me 28 clothing is further evidence of it. louis has always been known in the fandom for communicating through his clothing - to give clear messages on many topics not just sexuality, and that he has named his clothing brand designed by him "28" is very symbolic. not only because of the trajectory of that number in the fandom and his life - but also because its a unisex clothing brand whose isologotype is a "white rose of york" (symbol of yorkshire... his home... again "home" and "28" hand in hand). besides... "official programme" really? seems to be a mockery of "clause in official governmental act". and while we're at it, pride is a 28.

the posts and tags show why we think 28 is a larry number. i think it's a harry thing too because come on...why else would he put 28 boops in sunflower vol6, por example? 😅

what i mean is that i understand why people are inclined to think in recent years that it's a "louis only" thing, as he was much more obvious than harry in terms of his references (ahem... a tattoo is no small thing hahshs) but i see his winks quite present. also i think the number started out as something they both created, so if it's something they wear proudly to this day - surely it must still be meaningful to both as a couple in some respect. maybe not necessarily a romantic-couple-thing, but as gay-men-going-through-a-situation-where-they-suffer-from-homophobia-together, you know?

i think louis as he had and has a very tough closeting situation (i mean he is the one who usually goes out to deny it, he has the bbg and had the beards for a long time, etc) he took it as something very much his own because he just knew it was something obvious. he knew that we fans were going to relate it easily with something larry/lgbt because from the first moment it meant that. i always believed (and i believe) that he uses it so much because it is one of those little things that he can use without anyone "noticing"... no one except us. that's why he uses it so much and for so many things. he links so many things with that number, it helps him to explain stuff because that's what it's for. his old playlist, for example, we started to analyse it strongly because it was called "28 songs". place where that number is, place where we fans put our eye very carefully and with a lgbt lens.

i think at this point i would go as far as to say that is his own pride symbol, because that's what i see when i hear him using it that much and talking about it. it's very him and i love that!

[garchankdefender]

Yes yesss good list! A few of my own:

Loris going to find Vi after Caitlyn becomes the commander - we see him leave the ceremony, apparently disgusted/disappointed by the appointment, and the next time we see him he's drinking buddies with Vi? I would've loved one more dot to help connect the dots here

Post-commune Cait and Jinx and Jayce save Vi - it STILL grates my cheese that this must have been such a huge character and action scene for them and all we got was a quick line from Caitlyn alluding to it.

A soft pre-final battle caitvi moment would do nothing to further our understanding of the characters and plot and I don't care, I want it anyway

Jayce and Caitlyn catching up after he went to the decimated post-hextech au for several months and she wad plunged into her role as commander. Where do they even start?? They have such a playful relationship, what happens when they've both been put through hell?

Just Some Scenes I Wish We Would Have Seen

***SPOILERS FOR ARCANE. THIS POST IS NOT FUEL FOR ANTIS.REBLOG MY STUFF FOR THAT STUPIDITY AND I’M JUST GONNA BLOCK YOU***

This will be quick. I just was pondering on some scenes I personally as a fan wish we could have seen. Just because it seems to be where we are at now, a few things of note:

This is not an attack on the writing, or the creative team themselves

Yes I understand many of these were conveyed in various ways other than directly shown

No. I do NOT find the lack of these scenes to justify any of the stupidity most of us have been combatting

All this is, is a list of some things I as a fan would have loved to see-

1. Silco after the immediate aftershock of killing Vander had worn off- Whatever it may be I would have loved a deeper look into his feelings on that

2. A look at the first time Ekko encountered Jinx after she had changed

3. Caitlyn having a solo moment to breakdown over Vi, her mom, and everything as the commander

4. Jinx having an emotional response to anything Vi had been through before the end

5. Tobias Kiramman interacting with Caitlyn when she was her lowest point as the commander

6. Whatever Jinx and Ekko did to rally the Undercity

Anyway just a short blurb. I know I keep repeating myself but GOOD GOD it sure seems necessary these days. This is not a place to come and attack the writing or anything. So in the spirit of love for the story and wishing there was more I’d love to hear some of yours!

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

It's the start of the jql drought and I'm not doing well friends. March is gonna be a month of jbl rewatches for me.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Exclusive Love [4/12] - Once again, I'm here for the sides. I can't help it, I love a pining bestie, and I got two here. I'm not really connecting to the mains for some reason. It seems to be a thing with me and Taiwan lately.

🇰🇷 FC Soldout [7/8] - This show is not great. But honestly, they are all so endearing. And I love that Gang Jae finally told him. That was a very nice moment. And of course we are watching a show with gay footballers so a kiss on the field was obligatory, but in the middle of the game? In front of everyone? Also, is there really only one more ep? I think we need more. Just keep changing some players every once in a while and we could have this show on forever.

🇹🇭 GelBoys [3/7] - Oh the teenage angst... They are too young to know better so I can empathize, but they are also so mean to each other. I loved the change in pov, although there were more similarities than they were differences. I said it before but I'm so grateful I didn't have to go through any of this in this technology era. It looks exhausting. Can't wait to see more of Baabin tomorrow.

🇹🇼 Impression of Youth [8/9] - I'm just not vibing with this one. The pacing is weird, it feels rushed at times, it feels disconnected, and I just don't find any the couples all that compelling. I'm just not feeling it.

🇹🇭 Ossan's Love Th [8/12] - It's bonkers, it's funny and it's cute. Since I haven't seen the original, I can only judge by what is there. And it's fun. I love EarthMix and they deliver the couple moments like few others. And Mix is as perfect as ever. But it's not without its issues. Which for the moment I'm choosing to ignore. Thor is so pretty.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [18/24] - Faifa and Wine are one of the most interesting pairs I've seen in a while. It was funny to see a boy entering the bubble in real time. And Faifa. He's such a kinda soul, and trying so hard to keep it all in for the benefits of others. I'm liking this final arc so far.

🇹🇭 Reverse With Me [4/8] - I'm liking this one a lot. The leads are really good together, for now the fantasy element is solid, and the visuals are stunning. I hope this one can keep it up till the end.

🇰🇷 Secret Relationships [2/8] - I'm a sucker for the kdrama look. It's so minimal and clean and shiny. As usual, I have my doubts this kind of messy setup can be done well in 8 eps but I wanna believe. Seong Hyun is very endearing and I really hope Da On can fall for the nice guy. Waiting to see more before I can say anything else, but I hate a bunch of these people already.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World [5/10] - It's really parallel worlds, uh? I think the funniest thing about this is how I was genuinely surprised by a 'twist' that was revealed in the first episode. I don't expect a lot from this show, so I'm gonna refrain from saying much about it until the end.

🇹🇭 Thame·Po [12/13] - Please please please, stick the landing. This episode felt like a bridge, to hopefully deliver a solid finale. I like the group went to Po. It feels very full circle moment. Now. Thame, come here! You need to pick up that phone. Please. He didn't read the letter before. He didn't know. You are wanted, you are loved. 😢

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Call Me by No-Name - That was a pretty show I watched.

🇰🇷 Heart Stain - I feel like I missed something cause to me this was just incredibly banal. And time skip my beloathed. I just didn't feel anything.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time - The world building was a mess. It was mostly whatever served the moment. It made no sense. And even the happy ending didn't really feel good.

🇹🇼 A Perfect Match - I can't believe I watched this.

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers - Joong was really great.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw - Final thoughts here.

🇯🇵 When It Rains, It Pours - This could've been great, but what I'm left with is a show that wanted to tell a complex and layered story but didn't have the time to actually tell the whole story. So it told bits of a good story. There's a lot I could say but I'm don't really wanna dwell on it atm. It was a big disappointment.

QL - Dropped / On Hold Waiting to hear - 🇹🇭 Us | Waiting to binge - 🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Non QL - Finished

🇰🇷 The Trauma Code | 🇯🇵 Tokimeki Bakudan | 🇰🇷 Study Group | 🇯🇵 Red Blue

Upcoming - March 02/03- 🇹🇭 Last Meal Universe MDL | Trailer 12/03 - 🇹🇭 My Golden Blood MDL | Trailer 12/03 - 🇹🇭 Lost in the Woods MDL 20/03- 🇹🇭 Top Form MDL | Trailer 28/03- 🇹🇭 Heesu in Class 2 MDL

Well, that's it for now. Happy carnival to all who celebrate, and to the rest, have a wonderful weekend. My ask box is always open. Also if anyone reads this and makes edits of any of the shows I'm watching please use my tag #rosytracks. Thanks💜

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Ok so this is my first time ever doing an ask so if I’m doing this wrong PLEASE tell me. Anyways I wanted to ask for some Oliver Aiku angst. Specifically where we’re married and he’s been cheating but he’s done a weirdly good job at hiding it. But then we find out and leave him. And if you could PLEASE make it in Oliver’s POV for extra male groveling. Now again this is my first time doing an ask so if I come off as demanding or just not detailed enough please forgive me. 🤕😭🫶🏼🤕

moral of the story oliver aiku x gn!reader

Synopsis: Oliver Aiku had everything: fame, the best career, and the love of his life... but sometimes, the snake slithers into the garden of Eden to poison everything.

Tags and Themes: angst, cheating, divorce, established relationship, marriage, people asking stupid questions, aiku's human condition biting him in the ass, ooc lmao, ubers team mentioned eheh

Author's notes: Hello, sweetpea! Oh, this took me a while to write, and you're my first ever request for a drabble! haha! Thank you so much for dropping this request! I wrote it as well as I could. I drew inspiration from stories I heard from that one Reddit story that Smosh read. I forgot which episode, but I will link it here if I find it again. I hope you love it! Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!

photo grabbed from Pinterest (owner unknown; will search for it and add it here)

Want more stories? Check out the Blue Lock Masterlist!

On nights, he would stay up and wonder where he went wrong.

He knew he had gotten something wrong; he wasn't stupid, but the turn of events was something he couldn't control, or at least that's what he told himself to comfort him. The dissatisfaction, the cheating, the decision.

He lost everything that he once had.

If we go back to 2 years ago, Oliver Aiku was on the top of the world. Everyone loved him, everyone adored him. He was at the peak of his career at the ripe age of 27, one of Japan's most treasured players as he played for Italy. He was every kid's dream player and every teenager's role model in sports. And most of all, he had you, the best partner he could ever have; you were the one who knew him best since childhood until now and the best support he could ever have had. In every interview he had, he would honor you, telling the world that you're his lucky charm.

He had his dream life.

He had all the best in the world.

In your two years of marriage, he lived for the moment in the privacy of your shared home more than the spotlight on him all the time. Mornings were sweet as he would hold you in his arms, whispering "good morning" in your ear. As sweet love was shared between the safety of your sheets, he knew so well that this was his heaven, having you by his side. The routine of your quiet and comfortable days was something he held close to his heart because he knew how much you cared for him every day, and he gladly reciprocated that. It was all so surreal.

You were so surreal.

But sometimes, the devil slithers silently into the garden without anyone noticing, and for Aiku, it was the playful banters he had with his teammates.

"Don't you ever find it boring?" Lorenzo asked as they all gathered back into the locker room after a productive day of practice. That question alone got everyone's attention.

"Find what boring?" Barou chimed in, his gruff voice echoing in the room. Lorenzo cocked his head towards Aiku as he replied, "I was asking Mr. Lavender Haze here. I wanna know if marriage ever gets boring." Barou scoffs, shaking his head at his teammate. "You wouldn't understand that because all you ever care about is money."

"True, but that's because money can't hurt me," Lorenzo snickered. He slung an arm around Aiku, leaning all his weight on the defender. "Aiku has given up being a player for his partner. That's something I never expected him to do. He'd always disappear every time we're out drinking."

"There are things that needed to be sacrificed for love, Lorenzo," Aiku said, removing Lorenzo's arm around his shoulders. "You'd understand once you fall in love."

"But does it get boring?" Niko asked. The youngest of the team was never one to ask or peep when they talk about relationships, but this conversation must have piqued his interest. "Two years of marriage with the same person and all you do is now a routine. Surely, you'd return to your natural self, your human tendency of being a player."

"Niko, that's why sacrifices are made. I wouldn't have married them if I didn't truly love them. Besides, I know what I was doing before was destructive and inappropriate. I changed for them, and I couldn't be happier."

Niko hummed in response and continued whatever he was doing. But for Aiku, the questions stayed in his mind for quite a while. Does it ever get boring?

That's why he'd break up his past relationships before; 3 months of being together turn dull for him. He needed excitement, a challenge. He needed the thrill of chasing and pursuing. He lived for that high. But you..

You offered contentment, satisfaction, safety, and security. Something he never felt before because he tended to cheat and lily pad. He never wanted to settle down until you came back into his life and accepted him for who he was, loved him despite his past, and cared for him more than he ever cared for himself. You were the epitome of perfection in his eyes.

It was then he realized he still wanted it.

He wanted to get high on that feeling again.

It started small. Drinks with the team would turn into them entertaining fangirls at the bar. It wasn't new that Aiku would get the attention. Girls loved how he looked: his heterochromic eyes and how he carried himself. He'd tell them he was married at first, but with the need for thrill, he eventually gave in and chatted with one of the girls.

He didn't push her away when her hand started to wander on his thighs.

He didn't pull away when her lips got too close to his.

Eventually, his thoughts turned into fruition. The devil made him bite into the apple that wasn't supposed to be eaten, but whatever.

One make-out session turned into secret texts and calls. He was so good at being so discreet, making him feel nostalgic. His excuses weren't so obvious that you'd start suspecting him of anything. Rendezvous were hidden under the guise of extra training time due to an upcoming match, and calls were excused as ones from his manager about "interviews". He was careful, but could not hide the fact that it was...

It was everything he wanted, and he wanted more. More of the thrill, more of her, while still in the safety of your love and marriage.

How could you be so blind, he asked himself. How could his lovely partner be so trusting of him? How could you still smile and kiss him without knowing he was betraying you?

How could he imagine a life without you?

Months passed, and he knew he was in too deep. He started prioritizing the "practices" and "calls from the manager" over the time he should spend with you. It annoyed you, but you knew that's one of the things you were made aware of when you married the football star. His career comes first; the sports community will always have his attention first.

The calls kept coming, and one day, you answered one on his phone.

It wasn't the voice of his manager.

You were quick to pack up and leave despite his pleas, telling you he was sorry, that it was a mistake, that it wasn't supposed to happen.

"I told you, Aiku. When you proposed to marry me, I told you one mistake, I'll leave. I trusted you with all of my life, Aiku. I accepted you and saw how you changed for our marriage, and yet you betrayed me."

He couldn't bring himself to look you in the eye after that.

He couldn't bring himself to wake up every morning, your absence making it all heavier. You weren't coming back soon, and he messed up. He lost you. He lost the life he knew he wanted. He lost the love he never deserved in the first place, yet you gave it to him wholeheartedly. You gave him a chance, and he failed.

The divorce papers arriving at his doorstep made it all worse.

He didn't want to sign it. He stared at it for too long, for days... for weeks... until your lawyer had to ring him up for the deadline.

He hated himself. For the first time, he hated every fiber of his being.

Every court meeting is like seeing the light because he gets to see you, his perfect angel. The only love he's ever known. But you would never meet his eyes. Always looking away, always so distant. He did this, he caused this. He lost the only love he ever knew.

After two whole years and several court hearings, your divorce was finalized. And for the first time in a long time, Aiku finally caught a glimpse of your eyes, the closest thing he could get to feeling your love once again, yet the words that came out of your mouth crushed him.

"I hope you realize that I will be the only one who will truly love you for you and not for your money and fame."

Aiku wasn't a crier. He never was, but he found himself breaking down at your words and how real this finally felt. He truly lost you. You were no longer his, and he's just a shell of a broken man.

He'll be haunted by the ghost of you, forever...

[endlesslyhyperfixating]

Oh, Carmy, Carmy, Carmy. The man who can turn a beef sandwich into a Michelin-worthy masterpiece but can't seem to manage his own mental health. Season three of *The Bear* has been a rollercoaster of culinary highs and personal lows, with Carmy spiraling into the very chaos he once sought to escape. But then, in the season three finale, enter Chef Terry—Andrea Terry, if you will—a beacon of wisdom in a sea of culinary turmoil.

As Ever's doors prepare to close, Chef Terry imparts a nugget of wisdom to Carmy: "You have no idea what you're doing, and therefore, you're invincible." At first glance, it might sound like a chef's version of a pep talk gone awry. But let's break it down, shall we?

Throughout the season, Carmy has been haunted by the ghost of Chef David Fields, his former mentor who believed in the "tough love" — or realistically more like abusive — approach to culinary excellence. Fields' methods left Carmy with ulcers, panic attacks, nightmares, trauma doomed to be repeated in an abusive cycle, and a fun memory of the chefs general disdain for black pepper. In contrast, Chef Terry embodies a nurturing spirit, emphasizing the importance of people over perfection. Her mantra, "Every Second Counts," isn't about relentless pressure; it's about cherishing the moments and the people who make them meaningful. The BACKSTORY of her famous mantra is even tender and born in sweetness and family, a start difference to what was Carmy's experience with Chef Fields.

By telling Carmy he's invincible because he doesn't have it all figured out, Chef Terry is giving him permission to embrace uncertainty. She's encouraging him to let go of the need for control and perfection, to trust his instincts, and to lead with empathy rather than fear. This is the antithesis of the Carmy we've seen in season three—a man so consumed by the pursuit of excellence that he alienates those around him, and begins to lose himself in the middle of his unprocessed trauma through the only thing he knows which is working the human away.

"The more people I cut out, the quieter my life got"

Okay, my self isolating king!

But lets take, for instance, his interactions with Sydney. Instead of fostering a collaborative environment, as he often claims this season, Carmy often undermines her, believing his way is the only way. It's not how it starts in season two and the beginning of season three however, where they work shopped the menu together (despite his changing it everyday [🙄])This dynamic leads to tension and missed opportunities for growth. Chef Terry's advice serves as a wake-up call for him: it's okay not to have all the answers. In fact, embracing the unknown can lead to unexpected brilliance.

Richie has done to understand and he's tried to embrace in his own personal journey, and that difference in character is also what's keeping their divide all season, their serious lack of communication causing a strain in their relationship. But the strains present because they do truly love each other(this is a rant for another day)

I digress, this season concludes with a cliffhanger—Carmy's reaction to a seemingly mixed review from the Chicago Tribune—it's clear that change is on the horizon. Chef Terry's words are a catalyst for Carmy's evolution. They signal a shift from a leader driven by fear and perfectionism to one who leads with heart and humility. This transformation is essential for the survival and success of The Bear.

Not only chef Terry's words, but I believe and hope that when he finds out about SYDNEYS OFFER from Shapiro.

Ooph, oh boy that'll be a wake up call.

In essence, Chef Terry's parting words are a gift—a reminder that vulnerability and imperfection are not weaknesses but strengths. For Carmy, embracing this philosophy could be the key to unlocking not only his potential but also the true essence of what it means to be a chef.

Terry's vulnerability and tenderness is similar to Sydney's all throughout the series, especially season three(even referring back to the first episode when she encourages him to call Richie to make things right between them. The relationship that matters. Not Claire.)

If and (hopefully) when Carm finds out about Sydneys potential leaving, this will be a real pushing point for him to out into action Terry's words, realize that his control and repeated cycle of everything he's been through needs to change.

Just as Syd expressed early on in season one, The a bear became the very thing she wanted to escape from. People yelling and pushing, the constant chaos of what their industry is. And she and Carm both knew and still know that it can be different.

And Sydney has that opportunity with Shapiro, but Carmy will totally freak without her to enact that change.

Phew.

Anyways, I can't wait to see the post-review chaos, and hopefully some real growth on Carmy's end.

Season four, anyone?