#i love the little snails LOL

[napuleh]

i love naples walking tour videos so much. especially the street markets!! the ambience is amazing, i love watching people haggle, i love seeing the street style (and sometimes the lack thereof lol), seeing the food, the fruit/veg/produce stalls. 🥺❤️

this post from "the boy who ate the world" blog puts it well... even if it comes with the usual sprinkle of 'Naples is dirty and exists out of the law and also I'm fearing for my life but yummm pizza' (but i'll forgive them because it was 2009... even if people still say the same shit lol)

"Naples is a love it or hate it city. Don’t expect to find the usual archetypal piazzas, flower-lined verandas or quaint, world heritage sights. It’s narrow, sloping streets are down and dirr-ty, full of filth and graffiti. Arriving in the evening, it was as if our taxi driver was racing through the noir-style set of Frank Miller’s Sin City ala Italia. Shouts of Italian profanities, wailing police sirens, and the constant racket of impatient car honks piercing the cool, night air… a stark contrast to the peace and serenity of nearby Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast.

Despite Naples’ apparent lawlessness, its this bustling, deep brooding human energy which gives this city its charm and character. And there’s no better place to experience this than walking through one of Naples’ numerous street-markets. Montesanto’s Pignasecca Market is a prime example – there’s nothing superficial or touristey about this working class market at all. Its all very very real… Aged Italian Mamas with their walking canes out in full force, barely able to stand upright but with enough life in them to heckle and jostle with vendors for the best deal on the just picked fruit and veg… Fishmongers breaking out into song, selling stiff fresh fish and sea-snails so alive, many are still trying to crawl overboard for their lives. Here are some of the highlights of PignaSecca’s best from our Friday morning stroll."

[anxietygremlin7]

woah! is that a new pfp?!?!?!? is it a snail? from the most recent Wild Life episode? because Grem loves snails?

why yes it is! thanks for asking lol

but anyways, heres screenies I have from this last session cause I wanna share 'em :)

[neonfretra]

baseball art truly making me feel like a snail being given an entire cucumber… i shall survive the winter

GOOD LUCK WITH THE OFF SEASON... SURVIVE...

you know whats really funny is that i up and ran a hockey blog when i have had more IRL run ins with baseball than hockey. this isnt saying much about either sport. between all these run ins is a physical object that i think of as a religious effigy. just as dusty as one too! ill let you guess which sport that is LOL

[0turnthelightsout0]

Can I offer you a Snarrator in the trying times?

[storge]

Actually, I don't have to wait for the three-month period to end. I can tell you to leave now. If my investigative methods did cause trouble for everyone, I'm willing to reflect on myself and accept all decisions. If you cause trouble again… You can punish me anyhow you see fit.

When a Snail Falls in Love (2023)

[dracolizardlars]

Also in extremely good news all 4 of my surviving hatchling land snails are awake and munching kale right now, and I say 4 surviving but for the last two weeks I absolutely thought I was down to 3 because one of them just wasn't moving and I'm so glad I didn't give up on them because they finally woke up!

[oysterie]

candid image of me attempting not to fall on monday cause I wore flip flops to a silty creek and kept sinking up to my ankles and loosing my shoes 👍

[lovphobic]

I just bought a new pair of swim trunks and I haven't gotten to wear them yet so I'm super jealous!

HEHHEHE so u know the strife! i got my new swimsuit way back in like march i think. which probably sounds insane but alabama gets hot Fast. and i just havent been able to get a good window to swim since. either its been too sunny or too late at night or the pool was too dirty etc etc and it SUCKED!!! i hope u get to swim soon 🫡🫡🫡

[tteokdoroki]

☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. compression shirts & sweatpants.

about. hello u guys wanted me to finish this so i did lol !!!! i just can’t get the idea of him in compression shirts out of my mind ok enjoy !! <3

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact. suggestive, making out, hickies, dry humping, bakugou being a huge tease, gn!reader, pro hero!bakugou.

“do you get off on this? dressing like a slut?”

after pushing his bread down into the toaster, bakugou stops mid-sip, his signature red riot coffee mug about a quarter of an inch away from the pink and plush curve of his lips. he looks over to you as if he’s an animal that’s been caught doing something it’s not supposed to. a deer in headlights if you will.

“hah?”

you clench your fists, the foulest pout you can muster spread thinly over your features like a veil, as a petulant huff escapes you. you pretend to be mad at the man for as long as you can, turning your head away from him with your arms crossed over your chest. but you can’t help it. you can’t fight it… your gaze trailing back over to him at a snail’s pace.

katsuki bakugou looks like a fucking god.

not only does the stupid black compression shirt he’s wearing highlight the slender accent of his hips and itty bitty waist — but it clings to every muscle in bakugou’s marble-carved body. you can see every bulge of his biceps and ripple in his backs, even down to his washboard abs. honestly, you count your lucky stars every day that you managed to sink your fangs into the blonde before anyone else did, claiming him as your own. you might have even thrown up if anyone got to see him lounging about the place in grey sweats the way you did, the material just barely sitting on his hips.

you have to swipe at your mouth to stop yourself from drooling when he puts his mug down and lifts an arm up high to put the coffee granules back in the cupboard — his shirt riding up just enough for you to get a good look at a slither if his his sun-kissed, diamond cut v-line and waistband of his boxers too. it’s like the guy is purposefully trying to kill you.

just the very sight of katsuki like this, probably fresh from his work out, has you in a shambles — breaking out into hot sweats, panting like a dog. someone might even think you’re sick.

katsuki pays your little tantrum no mind, crossing his arms and leaning his hip against the kitchen counter while he waits for you to finish.

“you look so good.” you relent eventually, shoulders sagging.

shaking his head in a fond manner, the blonde rolls his ruby framed eyes. “no, you look good.” katsuki coos amusedly, arms opening wide for you as you pad further into the kitchen to snuggle against his chest. although he’s taunting you and you’re playing right into his game, you will always love that katsuki finds little ways to compliment you and make you feel adored — you feel it as he presses the wisps of a kiss into the crown of your head. “you always do.”

“it’s not fair that you get to go around like this! wearing that and making me feel all—!” you wave your hands about eccentrically, a heated frustration burning at your nerve endings as you screech your feelings out.

bakugou smiles to himself, sexy and slow, barely jumping when his toast pops out of the toaster. he grabs it, holds the corner of his food between his rows of pearly white teeth and spins your positions so that he traps you against the kitchen counter. “gonna need some context, babe.” you think that he’s going to touch you but instead reaches behind you to grab at his coffee.

freaking tease.

it’s impossible to think clearly when your boyfriend is this close — his intoxicating musky scent of sweet sweat and cool toned aftershave making you dizzy. “i hate you.” you state indignantly, flopping against his chest and letting it’s plushness muffle your speech patterns. “you’re stupid hot. and a slut.”

“you slut shamin’ me, sweetness?”

“s’what you deserve. dressin’ like you don’t belong to nobody. like you belong to the streets.”

“i belong to you, baby. you know that.” chucking his toast onto the counter, the blonde swoops down to kiss you hungrily — tasting of freshly brewed coffee grounds and salt. of course he would get off to something like this. he’s got you right where he wants you, weak in the knees and melting in his arms.

you screw your eyes shut, squirming in place as bakugou steps back and guides your hand under his tight fitting compression shirt, overloading your brain with just how built he is. fleshy pecks and golden abs. he ends up keeping it rolled up so you feel hot all over. “i can get undressed if it makes ya feel better.”

you can’t help that your eyes drop back down to his cotton grey sweats — they’ve slipped a little lower, low enough for his sharp v-line and soft blonde curls from his happy trail to peek out from the waistband. if you squinted (not that you would need to) you could make out the outline of his semi as it brushes against your inner thighs.

this is it. this is the end. “it makes me feel worse actually. like i might die of thirst or something. especially if you don’t—“

“if i don’, what?” his hands are all over you now, splayed over your tummy, digging into your waist — he overwhelms you. pressing his body against yours until you practically feel him through your pores. bakugou is hot (physically, sure) but against you, your desire for him spreads like a heatwave through every inch of your body — from the tips of your fingers and toes to the top of your head.

“kiss me.” you breathe, a neediness seeded into your tone.

bakugou arches a blonde eyebrow, looking down at you cockily. “c’mere then, brat.”

he uses a finger and thumb to tilt your chin up towards him, leaning down to kiss you before tricking you with a fake out. just as you begin to whinge and complain, the blonde squishes your cheeks so you can’t wriggle away from him and licks into your mouth with a teasing laugh. he only kisses you fully when you grasp at his slender waist, feel him up from under his clothes and slip your hands over his ass — just bellow the waistband of his sweats.

“fuckin’ tease,” katsuki grunts, tugging on your lower lip with his teeth and sucking in your tongue.

a free hand wanders from his bottom, climbs up the rippling muscles of his back and tangles in bakugou’s sandy roots — fisting then as you drag him closer, working your tongue into his hot and welcoming mouth. “takes one to know one, kats,” you mewl into him, letting him swallow your satisfied gasps and squeaks.

every action, every groan and grope becomes rougher, needier, hornier — squeezing each other turns to grinding on one another until there’s no room for either of you to breathe and just as you move to shove your hand down the front of his boxers, everything comes to a halt.

you knock bakugou’s coffee over when he lifts you onto the counter.

“ow! hot!” you squeal, still tilting your head back to make room for the blonde at your neck.

he doesn’t stop, nipping at your skin. “yeah, so you’ve said babe.”

“not you, dummy!” swatting at your boyfriend, you push him off. “the fucking coffee on my ass!”

katsuki blinks, his lashes fluttering against the column of your throat while be peeks over your shoulder at the beverage spilling across the counter and seeping into your clothes.

“that’s what you get for callin’ me a slut.”

“oh…oh fuck you.”

“‘m trying babe.”

“fuck you. slut.”

“keep degrading me sweetness, ‘m kinda into that.”

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[moonstruckme]

poly!wolfstar x reader or whimsical!reader would be absolutely wholesome Maee!! Love and hugs 💖 have a lovely day 💫

(to clarify I'm not the anon who mentioned wolfstar previously. I'm just a lovesick of these two lol. hope the request is ok! Sending good vibes your way✨)

Awh I love them so much! Thanks for requesting sweetheart, hope you have a lovely day too <3

cw: squished snail :(

poly!wolfstar x whimsical!reader ♡ 900 words

Remus comes home, juggling his umbrella with three drinks from the coffee shop down the street, to find you and Sirius kneeling outside your front door. You seem to be placing dead leaves in a circle around a wet-looking smudge on the ground.

“Um.” He steps under the overhang of your roof, adjusting his hold on the drinks to set down his umbrella. “What’s going on?”

“We’re surrounding the snail with dead plants so it can be nourished in the next life,” Sirius says easily. Like this is something he does often. “Watch your step, handsome.” 

Remus heeds the warning, stepping carefully around the circle and behind the two of you. That’s when he notices your clothes. 

For Sirius, wearing black isn’t so unusual. He knows it sets off his tattoos and comparatively milky complexion, and he loves nothing more than a dramatic juxtaposition. But you, Remus didn’t even know you owned clothes this colorless. Your dress is loose and flowy, an inky black that’s more of a contrast against your generally lighthearted disposition than it’s ever been against Sirius’ coloring. You look lovely as always, but like a dulled version of your usual self. 

“Are we having a funeral?” Remus asks carefully.

Your posture is slumped, droopy as a weeping willow. “Yeah,” you reply glumly. “I went to take out the trash, and I couldn’t see in front of me. I crushed them.” Your voice seems to quiet further at the end, some mixture of shame and mourning clogging your throat. 

“Them?”

“The snail,” Sirius clarifies. He rubs between your shoulder blades. “It was an accident, sweetheart.” 

You nod, taking in a bolstering breath. “A funeral feels like the least I can do to try to honor them after cutting their life short.” 

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you.” Remus kneels on your other side, ignoring Sirius’ sharp look when he can’t help a little grunt at the ache in his joints. He sets your drinks where they won’t get knocked over. “Maybe this was a very old snail, and you found it at the end of its life.” 

“I just hope they didn’t leave a family behind,” you fret. 

“I’m sure even if they did,” he says, reaching for his most reassuring tone, “their family would appreciate what a nice resting place you’ve made for them.” He pets the back of your head. “And that you’ve dressed up so nicely to say goodbye.” 

You turn your face towards the ground, and Remus notices a soft pout to your bottom lip. Sirius seems to spot it at the same time. The other boy lifts your chin to kiss at it sweetly. 

“Do you want to say a few words, lovely?”

Remus smiles over the top of your head at his softhearted boyfriend. Were it anyone else, Sirius would be making endless fun of them for creating such a fuss over a snail’s death, but because it’s you he’s in all the way. (Evidently, he’s learned his lesson after the time he squashed a mosquito in cold blood. You would hardly look at him for days until he apologized.) 

You nod, clearing your throat. “I hope you’re going somewhere with tall grass,” you say, “and lots of soft, wet dirt. And I hope this food gives you sustenance for the journey.” 

You mean the dead leaves, Remus supposes. He presses a kiss to the side of your head. “I’m sure it appreciates that, darling.” 

“And if you want to reincarnate as an elephant to step on me, I completely understand.” 

“Oh.” Sirius coughs. “Don’t we think that’s a bit far?”

“Yeah,” Remus agrees. “You’ve put yourself through enough already, that’s probably not necessary.” 

You look between your boyfriends, bemused. “I’m only trying to make things fair. I killed them first.” 

“I just think we ought to have a bit more faith in this snail,” says Sirius. “I doubt they’re out for revenge; they strike me as the forgiving sort. No need to relinquish yourself to an untimely squishing.” 

You frown. “I suppose you’re right. Snails don’t have very long memories anyway, so as a group they might not be very inclined to hold grudges…” 

“Exactly.” He gives your shoulder a loving pat. “Now, it looks like Remus has brought us something. Haven't you, handsome?” 

Remus gives you both a small smile, reaching for your drinks. “Here’s a coffee, and a tea for you, dove. Let’s get out of the cold and drink them inside, yeah?” 

“Okay.” You give the snail one last, speaking look before starting to stand. 

Sirius hurries to Remus’ side, forcing him to use the other boy for support as he straightens up, knees protesting. 

“Your hair’s all wet,” he murmurs. 

“I know,” Sirius gripes under his breath, but Remus can hear the fondness hidden beneath his grousing. “I figured you’d be upset if I let her go out in the rain to find her ceremonial leaves alone.” 

Remus chuckles and kisses his part. “I’ll make some soup before you both catch cold.” 

“She’ll only think it’s karmic if we do.” 

“No, not really.” Sirius hasn’t kept his voice quiet enough to avoid your hearing, and now you’re looking at him with an earnest bemusement. “It would be karmic if I got sick, but you haven’t done anything wrong, Sirius.” 

Remus tsks. “I think you’ve repented enough already, dove,” he says. “Let’s get you both dried off.” 

[bamfkeeper]

I heavily believe Kurt can ruin you. Tell me I'm wrong. 18+ below cut. MDNI.

There is no way he isn't capable. He has the full ability to completely ruin. Sometimes I like to think that yeah, Kurt has 'devilish' looks, does he have devilish habits/desires?? Sometimes, maybe he can't help but really fuck. To tears, but obviously good ones lol.

Warnings: Slight rough sex (in reality it's just intense not exactly rough), unprotected sex, teasing, good tears, cock warming, praise, afab reader. Not edited. Just a quick drabble. Kept it more tame than I wanted because I wrote a more dominant Kurt earlier.

WC: 1.1k

I imagine him slowly drawing out of your tight little hole before pushing back in, his tail working your body in other ways as his thick cock slowly moves in and out of you. You can feel every little detail in his dick, and it is so overwhelmingly incredible. You've never felt so good before, you didn't think it was possible.

"Kurt! Oh, o-oh my god..." you can barely speak, your lip trembled as much as your legs were, his hands holding them open while he tantalizingly moved his hips. You wanted more, to feel him thrust faster but he wouldn't listen. He wanted you to feel every single second of his cock stretching you around him. He loved to watch his dick disappear inside you.

"Shh, you're so impatient, liebe..." he chuckled softly, "Slow and sensual, right? You want to feel everything so you enjoy it....not all at once and then it's over~" he teases, still moving at a snail's pace.

He was so frustrating like this, his cheeky grin displaying his pointy canines as he pressed back into you, his cock gently pinning to your cervix each time. "Kurt, please...I-I need more from you..." Your whines were so blissful to his ears, making him shudder.

Kurt smirked at you, his tail teasingly coiled around your waist and rubbed your swollen bud, the slightest touch at this point almost made you scream. You felt so good, you just needed more. You felt tears prick your eyes, your arms shot up and wrapped around his neck as you cried out into his blue skin.

Your pussy clenched him like a vice, squeezing him like you were desperate to milk every last drop out of him. You came with him buried inside you, his cock dripping out sticky precum inside your velvet walls. You became much slicker with your orgasm, waves of pleasure washed over your body and you felt like you were floating.

He barely did anything, and he got you to that point.

On the opposite end, he grabs you tight and holds on as he pounds himself into you. He's completely driven and dedicated to pleasuring you and getting you to cum. He's pent up, so in love with you, all he wants is to make you cum around his dick. He watches your face contort with pleasure, your mouth hung open slightly as you moaned for him.

He sneaks his thumb in and presses the pad against your tongue, then tubs your lower lip. "So beautiful...you are so beautiful, liebling." he coos, his hips jutting into yours. "You make lovely sounds for me...you feel so warm." he rasped out, his tail widening your legs as his hips drive down more.

You cry and mewl for him, tears fall down your cheeks from the intensity of his thrusts and how much pleasure you feel. You can barely think, you are being loved and fucked all at once, and you never thought you'd experience something like this. "Alles gut?" he whispers, swiping your cheeks and burying his cock into you.

He kisses your damp skin, his lips brush your ear. "Das machst du gut..." his voice is deep and soothing, despite his thick cock stretching your swollen pussy, he felt incredible. "Ich bin für dich da..." he continues to soothe and praise you, even with himself being buried with each thrust he gives to you.

You can't do anything but babble at him, your body felt like it was on fire but in the best way possible. Your neck felt so sensitive, your nipples were tingling, you felt like you were floating off the bed even with him practically plowing you into it. "M-Mein Gott...you feel so, so wunderbar..." Kurt's eyes were half lidded as his thrusting became quicker and movements unsteady. He was close too, and you couldn't help but beg for him.

"Please, please, I want you inside, I want to feel you cum in me, Kurt!" you cried loudly, only able to focus on him. Your desperation was obvious, he continued thrusting into you and the slaps from your two bodies connecting filled the room. It was so slick between your legs, his pelvis was wet from your arousal and his own mixing together as he pumped himself in and out.

You were lost, in the past you had never had anyone come close to caring about your pleasure during intimate moments, and here Kurt was making you feel like you died and went to heaven. You clung on and sobbed into him, it was just so damn good.

"Ah, liebe...." he cooed, still moving into you, but cradling you a bit more. "I hope those are good tears soaking my fur," he nipped and kissed your neck and shoulder while he pressed further into you. His hips finally stuttered and he came deep into you, his cum covering your cervix and leaking into your womb. When he came, you did, and it felt like your body was exploding with endorphins.

He'd be so, so good to you after. "Oh, sweet, sweet dove...look at how well you did for me..." he cooed, lightly rocking you. He would make sure you feel loved, rubbing your back and kissing all over you. He loves on you, gently trailing all over your body and rubbing any sore spots. You were so blissed out, dizzy with pleasure, tears ran down your cheeks from the feeling. You never thought you'd feel so good. Ever.

Kurt moved his hips back, slowly going to pull out but your legs wrapped around his hips and caged him in. "No, no, don't pull out....please, stay..." you pleaded to him, desperate to hold him in you for as long as possible. He looked down at you and smiled a little, seeing just how needy you were. Not just for sex now, but for the comfort of connection.

"Of course, meine liebe..." he smiled and shifted closer, settling back in fully and holding you against him. "I've got you. I'm not letting go." he promised, peppering you with soft kisses. He'd curl around you and keep you feeling safe and cared for, and when he softened and slipped out of you, he'd clean you up and stay cuddled against you. He knows how much you need him after, and he gladly provides himself.

You're still recovering. Your bliss and high dying down and you would become incredibly needy. "What is it, dove? What do you need?" he coos, his thumb gently stroking across your cheekbone, his yellow eyes like two warm suns against his dark fur. So warm, so loving, you could get lost in them.

"Ah, I see liebling...you can't form words, that's okay. I will figure out what you need. But I assume it is me, ja? Don't worry...I am not going anywhere..." he reassures, holding you close and wrapping you in a blanket. He would remain by your side all night, never leaving for a second.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[beaulesbian]

"hello, this is luffy speaking" compilation

because i adore how he has this way of answering any ringing snail call, and with each new situation it feels it's escalating in importance of who is on the other side of the call! it's hilarious!

ch. 549, to navy, post impel down on way to marineford

ch. 651, to big mom, post fishman island

(look at that zoro grinning in the background at a typical luffy shenanigan, love that)

ch. 655, getting SOS from punk hazard, from later on we know it was kinemon

ch. 700, to doflamingo lmaoo

ch. 751, with robin, still in dressrosa getting in contact with his crew, it's just funny how that's always his opening line

ch. 1090, with the fricking gorosei while on egghead (aksjsdj this one rlly made me laugh)

+bonus, different tactics of other strawhats picking up the snail calls:

zoro and his demands, ch. 614, fishman island (even nami joining in when she hears about money, lol, and poor usopp, trying to always stop them from talking)

and ofc sanji and his 'restaurant le crap' in the little garden arc, on call with crocodile, ch 126

[idlerin]

love sick — 15. grumpy x sunshine trope

romance 101; guideline #11 — always notice the little things because the little things add up to the big things.

masterlist — previous | next

❥ fun facts !

suna becomes annoying with the dolphin meme, sends it to osamu a lot that osamu finds himself humming “i just wanna be part of your symphony…”

likewise, atsumu can not shut up about being very demure very mindful and very cutesy

suna waited for [name]’s text :)

love sick ! a suna rintarou social media au

synopsis. cupid! calling cupid! as the resident matchmaker slash hopeless romantic of tokyo university, you are the person people look for to get love advice or to set them up with the love of their lives. when suna rintarou comes to you asking for the opposite, to help fend people away from trying to get with him, to the extremes of even asking to fake date you, you couldn't refuse! mostly because you did owe him since he was on the receiving end of a bunch of your clients’ unsuccessful love efforts (hey, you do warn them your matchmaking only has a 62.3% success rate).

a/n — as promised! suna showing he rlly is the grumpy in the g x s trope LOL

taglist is CLOSED ! + (1/3) @yas-mjm @agirlwholovesalot @yenqa @fairywriter-oracle @noideawhothatis @alienvarmint @renardiererin @cheezitwh0re @yaboiithewreck @zephestia @nicerthanu @wolffmaiden @2baddies-1porsche @bluegrey02 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @lylovw @fo-love @cloudsvna @haruskatana @apinu @coyloves @rockleeisbaeeee @geombyu @girlkissersco @reveusecherie @mwhahahalasagna @megumiif @erenjvegerrr @thechaosoflonging @rintarousgirl @ris-krispie @kamikokii @complexivelovely @justabreadslice @hearts4faey @yuzurins @eleanorheartschishiya @hearts4itoshi @justsomeonewhoyoudontknow @rijhi @sleepystrwbrryy @snail-squasher @seiamor @wave2love @le000xxgrd @iuspired @theidontknowmehn @linmabbe @rntrsuna @tenaciouswritersheep

[snailmail444]

Can I get a headcanon of the bachelors and how they'd be sexy with you when you're down? Like, if they're trying to cheer you up and be a little goofy with it but also tryna HIT. THAT. 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks Snail, ILU.

Bachelors Goofing Their way Into Your Pants

18+ 🌱 MDNI 🌱 NSFW (-ish)

This one was a tough ask Libby but I’ll do nothing if not stand and deliver 🫡 Honestly might be my favorite head cannon list for the bachelors I’ve ever done so THANK YOU for this prompt icon. NSFW? -ish under the cut (lewd?? Idk lol)

Harvey-

💚 Perhaps the goofiest about this

💚 He would not try to come onto you when you’re down unless he KNOWS it’s going to pick you up

💚 So once he’s confident let’s start there

💚 It’s a song and dance

💚 Dissappears, and when he’s back he’s got his med kit

💚 He gets out the stethoscope and all. The whole nine yards.

💚 That’s right folks. We’re paging Dr. Love

💚 Will NOT let you stop this routine. Dr. Love WILL be completing the full assessment. Listening to your heart rate, checking your throat and ears, somehow always having to complete a chest exam

💚 (M or F he will be groping your tits for this one)

💚 The diagnosis is in

💚 There’s Only One Cure for What Ails You

💚 You guessed it! You need a little lovin’ (Dr. Love’s catchphrase)

💚 Important note: Dr. Love is not a licensed medical practitioner

💚 This works a little too well perhaps. He’s so confident for no reason at all LMAO

💚 Lowkey want to write a Dr. Love oneshot now because this is really fun and cute

Elliott-

❤️ If you’re feeling down man will preform the absolute worst ad lib poetry

❤️ Silliest lymrics you’ve ever heard

❤️ Dumb dumb dummmmmb

❤️ Very dirty and stupid bad poems about you

❤️ Specifically about his favorite parts of your body

❤️ Or his favorite things you do during sex

❤️ The worse it is, the better as far as he is concerned

❤️ Raunchy dirty filthy

❤️ But like. In the most grade school mother goose style he can manage

❤️ No flowery language here

❤️ Takes off your clothes to expose the parts of you the he’s referring to

❤️ When you do x thing (then tries to make you do x thing)

❤️ Will be proving his point. Period!!!

Alex-

🤎 Physical touch legend

🤎 Wrestles

🤎 Winner gets whatever they want from the loser

🤎 Has a wrestling name and all

🤎 Does the John Cena theme

🤎 His hands end up in all sorts of places that they don’t need to be

🤎 Most wrestlers aren’t grabbing ass 🤨

🤎 Gets you in some really tight, close pins, but somehow you end up winning anyway

🤎 No I didn’t let you win don’t be ridiculous I respect the sport too much to ever—

🤎 He let you win

🤎 You can take your prize now 😌 Whatever you want 😌

🤎 And if his hard on is pressing against you? Well. Maybe he has some ideas about what your prize should be

Shane-

💙 Gets you through the hard stuff first, so once you’re on the mend he’s goofing to the max

💙 KING FLEXER!

💙 Aw babe come on? How can you be so sad when you have these guns to look at?

💙 Runs through a series of absurd poses to show off his muscly farm boy arms

💙 Lays it on really thick about being a stud

💙 “No matter what at the end of the day you have a trophy husband” (even if he’s not married to you. ESPECIALLY if he’s not married to you)

💙 STRIP! TEASE!!

💙 Showing off everything you’re so lucky to have with a big goofy grin on his face

💙 Throwing his clothes across the room and everything

💙 Making the music sounds with his mouth

💙 You HAVE to whistle or hoot at him or clap or something

💙 He demands applause from his audience if he’s not getting some singles at least

Sam-

🩷 Another song and dancer

🩷 This man was born for the stage I fear

🩷 Genuinely and truly putting on a SHOW about it all

🩷 The drama of it. Uh oh, he’s compromised!

🩷 Will end up ‘stuck’ under the couch or table or anywhere else

🩷 Uh oh! I hope nobody takes advantage of me 👀 When I’m so exposed 👀👀 and vulnerable 👀👀👀

🩷 The worst stage acting you’ve ever seen in your life

🩷 Starts stripping in the middle of the living room because he “didn’t see you there!”

🩷 Pretends to be scandalized when you finally succumb to his advances

🩷 What are you doing?! Huh? What do you MEAN I was coming on to you? I always take off all my clothes in the kitchen, that’s ritual

🩷 insists he’s been objectified and taken advantage of

🩷 That kind of turns him on though let’s be so fucking real

Sebastian-

🖤 Okay so we’re going blunt king here

🖤 Two possible options

🖤 Uses it as a way to hard reset the system mid breakdown

🖤 Full crying, upset, whatever, he’s been holding you and trying to calm you down but it’s not working

🖤 “Wanna have sex?”

🖤 DEADPANNNNNN delivery

🖤 It never fails. Tried and true

🖤 Option two?

🖤 This is ONLY if mans is super comfortable in your dynamic

🖤 A classic

🖤 Whips it out

🖤 Thinking about that one tweet of the boyfriend who was in the mood and just put his dick on her shoulder while she was watching tv

🖤 Like that but buried under sixteen levels of irony

🖤 “I know what’ll help” and then he pulls his dick out

🖤 Probably the least likely to actually hit with these methods

🖤 However, he’s maybe the most likely to help improve your mood substantially

🖤 Through sheer presentation if nothing else. Man can deliver, and knows when to hit with the absurd to make it the most impactful

[crispyanonart]

Back on my SDV propaganda: I need y'all to hear me out about Gunther.

(dissertation below // Ginger Island spoilers?)

I feel like he's pretty much forgotten most of the time but he has so much potential and it's the one character that I would love to see becoming romanceable. He manages the library and the museum! He's into literature and archeology! Hello?? Long haired, bearded, bespectacled, curated vintage wearing, academic, classy af man??

Some personality headcanons: Gunther is hardworking and responsible (took on the museum and takes care of ancient books and artifacts all by himself, which is no joke), obviously not very extroverted or social, incredibly private and aloof but always kind, soft spoken, gentlemanly to the point of being a little old fashioned. He's very nostalgic and also a bit of a hopeless dreamer - something that he only lets slip once you get to know him better.

Also his story could be really interesting because what if he's related to Professor Snail?? His son, for example (this is out of pocket but they kinda look alike...from afar lol). Maybe Snail raised him surrounded by books and archeological collections, thought him all he knew, maybe little Gunther really looked up to him. But the professor made knowledge his biggest life mission, and kept traveling to different sites, staying gone for more and more time, until the day he didn't make it back home at all. That could be why older Gunther decided to come to Pelican Town and take on the hopeless empty museum, following his father's footsteps. Plus we get a wholesome reunion once Snail is freed from the Ginger Island cave and they can meet again 🥹

(Bonus regarding in-game ships - HE NEEDS TO DATE PENNY, PENNY NEEDS TO DATE HIM. please. She deserves someone reliable and gentle that buys her books, come on. He would secretively gaze at her while she teaches the kids and feel very guilty about it, ignoring the fact that she got a massive crush on him since the day he arrived in Pelican Town 🥺 AUGHH they would be such a cute couple)