#i love that nate is having more of these positive experiences

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 19 of Underline the Blue:

You’re not drugged, you’re relaxed. That was it. The slowness in his body, the feeling of being unhurried, the way his joints weren’t ready to spring into action, the residual warmth in his hands from Janusz’ touch… He was relaxed. His eyes filmed with tears, he placed a hand over his mouth and as he blinked, the tears spilled down his cheeks. ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’ ‘I can’t- I can’t remember the last time I felt relaxed like this. I thought I was drugged. Not that you’d drugged me, but I couldn’t figure out why I felt like this, and it’s been so long. It’s been so long. I forgot. I’d forgotten I could feel like this.’ ‘Yeah.’ Janusz sighed. ‘Yeah, that’d upset me too. That’s pretty sad, isn’t it? Hang tight, I’m just going to come around your side of the car and we’ll walk home.’ Home.

[hysteria-things]

based off of this

NSFW ALPHABET

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: some of these are inspired by the nate nation anons AND one will be a little teaser for bereal😌

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

gives you the princess treatment! he will specifically tell you to not get up from the bed. thirsty? he’ll grab you a water. hungry? he’ll grab you a snack.

afterwards, you are rewarded with the most amazing cuddles. he’ll lay on top of you and nuzzle into you softly.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

he LOVES when you scratch up and leave hickeys on his torso region, including his back. nate has no issue showing off your marks, even if it’s out in public.

if you’re the sturniolo’s little sister in this scenario, for their sanity and his safety, he’ll cover everything if you guys hang out with them.

in all honesty, he just adores your face. he’ll squish your cheeks every chance he gets, or cup your face every time you guys kiss. the way it contorts in pleasure when he’s fucking you sends him over the edge.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on rare occasions will cum inside you, but that’s the last resort. oh my god, the way he will always paint your body with his cum.

when you suck his dick, he’ll spurt his cum all over your face. other times, he’ll pull out and either smear it on your ass, chest, or stomach.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you’re not around and he’s super horny, he’ll hump his pillow to get off because he doesn’t like touching himself if you’re not there. it’s pathetic how many pairs of the poor boy’s underwear got ruined.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

has maybe one or two bodies before you, but he doesn’t like to count them since they were hookups.

but he 100% knows what he’s doing. he will never disappoint with the way he fucks his girl.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

COWGIRL OR DOGGY. for cowgirl, he wants to see your facial expressions and your tits bouncing right in front of him.

when it comes to doggy, he ain’t stopping. let’s just say, you won’t be able to walk for days…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

nate’s an extremely goofy person outside the bedroom, but when he’s going to town, he’s as serious as ever. you have a thing for the way he can change how he acts in such a short amount of time.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he got some hair, but tries to maintain it as much as he can. will NOT deal with the itching of it being bald. (he learned his lesson from the last time)

you, on the other hand, are cleanshaven. in the beginning of the relationship, he said he didn’t mind if you had hair or not. however, this was your decision and he’s perfectly fine with it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

will hold you like his life depends on it. face in the crook of your neck while he praises you for how good you take him and how well you’re doing.

like the first time you guys had sex (in his treehouse🥰), you were a virgin. was the gentlest with you and asked if you were okay every three minutes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

the only time it’s acceptable to jack off is if he’s on the phone with you. you will either 1. talk him through it or 2. discuss how your day went.

however, he will purposely edge and overstimulate himself to the point where his eyes start to water and his hand gets cramped. his dick will be swollen and red, leaking pre-cum as he pumps his fist rapidly up and down.

“p-please. please keep talking, baby.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

a sucker for dacryphilia and hair pulling. something about hearing you sob from pleasure makes him feral. like holy shit he’ll keep going until you beg him to stop and use your safe word.

pounding you from behind, he’ll grip your hair tight, and if you don’t listen to whatever demand he throws at you, he’ll pull it. hard.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

either his/your bed or oddly the floor. i don’t know, it seems like the floor can help him go deeper by how hard and stable it is.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he’s so sensitive that seeing you stand there has him bricked up to the fullest!

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

he DESPISES when you call yourself ugly. if you talk bad about yourself, he’ll fuck the daylights out of you until you say that you’re pretty.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

giving you the best head of your life is his number one priority. nate will eat you out nose deep until you cry, like always, and has no intent of stopping. you’ll cum so many times that you won’t be able to think straight and stars will take over your eyesight.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough. the only time he went slow and sensual is when he took your virginity. bro is the definition of pound town.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

if you guys are out shopping or at a party and he’s bored, he’ll drag you to the bathroom and fuck you fast against the door.

he needs at least something for entertainment.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

barely, but if you come up to him to ask to try something new, he’ll respect your wishes.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can be exhausted and will STILL keep going. surprisingly, he’ll do four. nate just loves you and loves dicking you down so much that he doesn’t want it to end.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

to be honest, you guys aren’t a fan of that stuff. he would never admit this, but the thought of you using some toy instead of him will make him feel a little insecure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

likes to have his hands full and will grab your ass no matter what you’re doing. you get all flustered and it makes him tease you even more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

name a sound, and he’s doing it.

whimpering, moaning, groaning, grunting… literally everything. he’ll purposely do it in your ear because he knows that makes your legs shake.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

once, he was railing into you hard when his bereal notification went off. because he turns into a cocky son of a gun when in private, he grabbed his phone off the night stand, lifted your head up from the pillows, and put the camera in your face to take a picture of how fucked out you looked.

the reactions under his post were priceless.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

body wise, short king nate is BUFF and has abs. the magic in his pants is huge.

in his words, he calls it “the nate-a-tron 5000.”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

wants to fuck you every second on every surface all day.

doesn’t help when you’re bending over and he comes up behind you and grabs your hips, thrusting his clothed boner into your thighs.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

two words: out cold.

one time you for real thought he was dead.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @sturniolotriplettoplover @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @crazychrisl0v3r @maggieflms @strtuniolo @mutualsafe @riasturns @sturniolowhore @antpile00 @ashley9282828 @stingerayyy2

[mitskijamie]

Ted and Jamie have a disconnect imo because Ted views coaching as a metaphor for good person lessons (“make the extra pass” = be a member of a team, build relationships instead of pursuing personal glory, be humble) but Jamie interprets everything he says as literal instructions for playing soccer (crazy of him), which is unfortunate because most of Ted’s advice is nonsense for a striker of Jamie’s talent and potential.

I do love Ted and think he had a huge positive impact on the team culture, but everyday I thank god for Nate, who actually understood how to use Jamie tactically, and Roy, who was able to give him clear and practical advice to help him realize his potential.

This is a really great point!! Jamie interprets everything very literally, and Ted's people-first, winning-doesn't-matter coaching style is clearly nothing like any of his coaches at City. I get why it'd confuse him to encounter a man who exclusively speaks in friendship metaphors lol

To your second point, I think Roy, Nate, and Ted were such an interesting dynamic in that they all filled different specific niches which, when combined, formed a very well-rounded and successful coaching unit, but individually were not very strong.

Roy has actual on-the-ground experience and a masterful understanding of the technical side of the sport, which clearly helped the boys a lot, but he's also absolutely terrible with people.

Nate is a literal genius strategist who has won them a ton of matches with his quick thinking, but he has no idea what it's like to be an athlete and isn't able to offer constructive advice about the mechanics of the game like Roy is. (Nate's "come on Colin, you dolt!" Vs Roy's "Follow through, push your shoulders back and fucking whip it")

Ted is amazing at building relationships and fostering a team environment where more advanced strategies are possible, but he knows next to nothing about the sport itself.

[ironyscleverer]

Can I do a little rant about Nate Shelley for a sec? Im gonna rant about Nate Shelley for a sec. Just becuase for a show about masculinity and healthy relationships and self-love, I HATED how they handled his character arc so fucking much.

Nate starts off in season 1 as this meek, nerdy, short, chubby Asian man who's routinely bullied by the guys (players) that he works for. He's very specifically disrespected becuase he's not conventionally masculine. It's important to note that Asian guys especially are emasculated a lot in society, doubly so if you're shy and/or brainy like Nate is.

But then once he starts getting a little respect and attention from Ted, we first get to see his confidence grow, but then we also start to see a nastier side of him emerge. He uses his new position of power to feed his insecurities and he becomes vindictive, cruel and resentful. He takes it out on his players, his former bullies, but even then he chooses the weakest person to pick on (ie Colin, who's a closeted queer man as we discover later).

And I actually think this part of the arc is really well done and interesting; it feels very real and throughout season 2, even though he's absolutely horrible, I can still see how it's stemming from a place of pain and bitterness. Being part of a system that abuses and disrespects you, especially when race is a factor, can really turn people sour and warp their perception of reality. Frankly, I think I would have a lot less sympathy for Nate's character if he was just another resentful white man, but his being brown really adds a lot of layers to the character.

And it's important to note that even once he becomes a coach Nate still suffers becuase of how he presents himself! The people at Richmond do occasionally make jabs at him (Jan Maas and the suit), and you can't tell me the situation at the Greek restaurant wasn't some kind of racist power trip. Even though he has more systemic power now, he still doesn't get respect becuase of how he exists in the world.

In that context, his choice to go work for Rupert at the end of season 2 makes complete sense. Richmond was a toxic environment for him given his past experiences there, and he was not going to get the mentorship or understand that he needed. I hoped that his season 3 redemption arc would involve him untangling his victim complex, learning to trust and stand up for himself, and looking out for people who are weaker than him (so basically this fic lmao). Basically, I wanted him to step up to the challenge of being a head coach and really confront his insecurities and their roots. Maybe he could've talked to another coach of color or something. I don't know.

But ultimately, the direction they went in with Nate in season 3 was frustrating to me because he ends up right back where he started at the beginning of the show; at Richmond, working as a kit man for a bunch of white people. Sure, he's forgiven by Ted and he learns his lesson about power, but none of the actual, very understandable hurts on his end are really addressed. He's right back to the same environment he was in before, albeit a bit less toxic. He isn't allowed to grow or distance himself from that chapter of his life. (the writers also decided to just give him a girlfriend and make that fix everythin which I don't appreciate, but that's another essay entirely).

If I had it my way, I would have had him do the whole scene with coach Beard, reconcile with Ted, but respecfully tell them that he can't go back to Richmond. There's too much history there, and even if they've forgiven each other, it would be a bad environment for him. Then Nate and Ted/Beard/others can have a new relationship as equals, built on respect, rather than a boss/employee dynamic. But maybe that's just me being delusional.

Anyway, in conclusion, Nate deserved a better ending and I'm disappointed that they didn't give it to him. Thank you for reading this completely unedited rant, I may do another in the future about Ted Lasso's queer rep or its female characters. Lmk if you want to hear it.

[twistnet]

nsfw alphabet [ nathan drake ]

⋯ WARNINGS ; gn!reader + smut [ oral sex, cum, kinks, masturbation ]

⋯ DISCLAIMER ; if you are under the age of 18, do not interact [ nsfw content under cut ] this content is strictly for those 18+ ; any minors // ageless // blank blogs interacting with this post will be blocked

a = aftercare [ what they’re like after sex ]

nate is kinda cocky -- not in the sense that he’s leaving you high and dry, but that he’s actually quite proud of himself for reducing you to the mess you are beside him. he’ll definitely tease, maybe chuckle a little at your expense but will eventually get up from whatever the two of you were and find something to clean you up with

or, if a shower is available, that’s the first place he’s hauling you to. not only to get rid of all the sweat and fluids, but there’s the possibility he might get lucky with another round in the shower. all up to you though

b = body part [ their favorite body part of theirs, and also their partner’s ]

himself -- if he just had to pick something, probably his arms. he’s strong, got some rough ass hands from the amount of scaling he does and just overall has a good look to them. sure, most of the time, he covers them up due to the elements of the places he visits, but he does enjoy getting to show off every once in awhile.

you -- say it with me, nathan drake is an ass man. point. blank. period. he loves to grab your ass any chance he can get. whether it be walk by and just grabbing a handful, or pushing a hand into your back pocket. he’s going to do it, you just have to come to accept it

c = cum [ anything to do with cum basically…i’m a disgusting person ]

above all else, nate prefers to come inside of you -- although, if there is a consideration where you may be concerned about a possible pregnancy, then he’ll glad talk about different options with you. even outside of that, if you want him to come anywhere else, just tell him. he gets a kick out of seeing you covered in his come too

d = dirty secret [ pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs ]

if you happen to be with him while he’s searching for something, and get into some trouble or you have to run away from someone chasing you, when the two of you stop, he’s almost as hard as a rock. he’s incredibly turned on by adventure and running around just on adrenaline. he’ll heavy deny that he’s turned on though.

e = experience [ how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing? ]

nate has quite a bit of experience. i want to say that he probably lost his virginity at a young age -- maybe seventeen or eighteen. more so just to get it over with. but with him being so young, and most horny, he’s learned quite a few things about the ins and outs of sex. he’s going to apply some of the things he learned to see what your take is on it. but yeah, he knows what he’s doing.

f = favorite position [ this goes without saying ]

missionary -- nate loves seeing your face, and loves the intimacy of this position because he can look into your eyes and show you all the affection he can possibly give

doggy style -- there are fews time in which nate wants to take in you in this position, usually paired with a fast and rough pace that leaves both of you aching and satified

cowgirl -- just like with the above, while nate enjoys getting to see your face in this position, he has a fascination with see you on top of him. in fact, he love sit so much that any way that he can get you to straddle him, he’ll happily do it

g = goofy [ are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc ]

nathan’s cocky, and likes to remind you of that quite often. he’s got some humor to him, and may crack a joke or two if he’s finding that you may be a little uncomfortable leading up. but he does so with intention of getting you to relax

h = hair [ how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc ]

nate is pretty well groomed, and tries to keep it that way when he can. obviously when he’s out running around and chasing after artifacts, there isn’t a lot of time for him to do so, but when he’s home, he definitely tries to keep up his appearances

i = intimacy [ how are they during the moment, romantic aspect… ]

nate can be very loving and romantic doing the moment, especially if he’s feeling particularly sweet and caring. overall, nate is just a very lovable person and has no problem showing it to you in many ways

j = jack off [ masturbation headcanon ]

doesn’t feel any particular way about it -- yes, he does jack off occasional, but it isn’t for any reason due to the fact you aren’t available or present. but he also isn’t against it entirely. he just does it if he feels the need to

k = kink [ one or more of their kinks ]

role-play -- nate likes to roleplay, really anything that could come to mind, but he his favorites are rival treasure hunters and as cheesy as it’s gonna sound, pirates

l = location [ favorite places to do the do ]

nate doesn’t really fret about the location, but he does know there is a level of dignity that you hold and he definitely doesn’t want someone walking in on the two of you. any location that has a lockable door is okay with him. of course, if you have a different preference then that’s totally okay, but he’s not overly picking about where the two of you have sex

m = motivation [ what turns them on, gets them going ]

adventure // thrills -- nathan loves a good adventure, but sometimes it just gets him going. and the thrill of running around and barely surviving by the skin of ones teeth is something that makes his blood pump

saving his life -- yeah, you’ve probably saved his life more than once. and he just has to show you how much he appreciates you taking out some dude who was seconds away from shooting him dead

n = no [ something they wouldn’t do, turn offs ]

nothing that will hurt you – physically or mentally, and nothing that will cause humiliation. his worst fear is taking things too far and you getting hurt

o = oral [ preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc ]

giving -- nate loves going down on you, and will do everything in his power to do so if given the chance. he’ll always turn do you going down on him, and would much rather show you the upmost pleasure

receiving -- as stated in the above, he will almost always turn down receiving oral. but if you manage to convince him and it’s something you truly want to do, he definitely won’t turn you down after

p = pace [ are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc. ]

nate bases the pace on the moment of the action. he can be fast and rough if the situation calls for it -- where the two of you need to get some of your frustrations out, or it can be slow and sensual where he takes his time bringing you over the edge 

q = quickie [ their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc. ]

nate is always down for quickies -- and even sometimes calls you to see if you want to join him at work for an ‘early lunch’ before pulling you into a small closet and having his way with you

r = risk [ are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc. ]

he’s always down to experiment, and actually encourages it, if that is something you are willing to do. all he asks is that before you both try anything, that you talk out everything to make sure the both of you are on the same page

s = stamina [ how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last… ]

nate prefers to go for one, drawn out round. giving you everything and hitting all the spots in one go before tapping out. he wants you to feel good, and if you really want to go another round, just give him a few minutes to gather himself and he’ll be ready to go

t = toy [ do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves? ]

while nate doesn’t own any toys himself -- aside from the occasional set of handcuffs, he is a big fa of using toys if that is something you want to do. he’ll happily use just about anything you bring, just show him how to use it on you. and he definitely if always up for toys being use on himself, just talk to him first

u = unfair [ how much do they like to tease ]

he may not look it, but nate can and will be a major tease if he wants to be. while he’s into teasing you during the act, he will endlessly tease you as a build up and tries to see how long you’ll last before you tell him you want to go home. to which he will happily do

v = volume [ how loud they are, what sound they make ]

nate is loud, and will eventually get to a point where you can’t seem to shut him up because you’re making him feel so good. if you find that he’s getting too loud, simply gag him -- either with your underwear or sexual tool and he’ll crumble

w = wild card [ get a random headcanon for the character of your choice ]

nathan likes and enjoys to occasionally be tied up. he’ll let you do whenever you feel like and if he’s in the right headspace. but he likes the idea of being at your mercy in a controlled environment -- more than anything he likes having you on top of him and if letting you tie him up gets you to do just that, he’s all for it

x = x-ray [ let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words ]

five inches in length. grows in thickness the closer you get to the base. flared head, slightly bulbous. has one thick vein that runs along the underside. and is around six inches once full erect

y = yearning [ how high is their sex drive? ]

nate as a fairly medium sex drive. considering that he’s always down to have sex whenever you happen to approach him -- i mean, it is you were are talking about. he’s definitely never going to turn you down. but, there are times when he knows it’s not appropriate and can and will hold himself back

z = zzz [ how quickly they fall asleep afterward ]

nathan’s on the verge of passing out -- mostly because he’s so blissed out, it’s unreal. he does his best to stay up as he doesn’t want to be a total sleaze and fall asleep before making sure you’re okay

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[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x9 Thoughts

This one might be tied for favorite episode of the season for me. While I’ve been mostly willing to vibe with the jam-packed episodes, I approached 3x9 with a bit of concern; if it felt like the story was getting bigger instead of smaller here in the final third of the season, I was going to start to lose my patience. (To translate: I am an impatient person but I'm also a pretty long-fused person, and me starting to lose my patience would be akin to someone with a short fuse going fucking ham on someone.) Luckily, I felt like each thread here spoke to the other threads really neatly, like watching a cohesive conversation take place in multiple rooms. Magically. 

For this one, I'm gonna attempt some bullets that cover 3x9 itself, then I need to attempt to process this weird experience of MISSING TED (while also basically appreciating what he's doing, but missing him, but appreciating him, lawjefpawoijfapweoijafwepklajwef) that has me very :eyesemoji: about the next three weeks of my life.

Nate’s desire for connection and camaraderie didn’t overshadow his ability to recognize that Rupert was trying to manipulate him into a toxic night out! There will be consequences for pulling away, and he knows it, but he did the right thing anyway. I’ve seen some discussions and arguments re: Jade’s influence on Nate and whether we should attribute Nate’s backbone and ability to make better choices to the love of a woman, and whether that’s disappointing and belittling to both characters, but I think a lot of those positions (on either side) are too hard-and-fast. Nate has always valued the things he values, and his relationship with Jade hasn’t changed his values or the fundamental truth of who he is. At the same time, being physically and emotionally close to a person you trust feels really, really good. Why shouldn’t those good feelings have a positive impact on the reserves of strength you must draw on to do things like stand up to an evil asshole you hadn’t entirely let yourself notice is an evil asshole? Nate in all his multitudes has always been Nate; Nate who is in love is able to see himself more clearly. If we were all only allowed in our real lives to experience character growth purely independently, we wouldn’t get very far.

I’ve been thinking a lot about influence and obligation when it comes to Rebecca’s storyline, too. I was a little afraid, after 3x3 and the way she initially responds to Tish’s prophecies, that Rebecca would end up a lone actor, in a sense, tracking down clues and answers at the expense of fostering her actual existing relationships. While I’m still curious and nervous and excited about what all of it means, I really appreciate that Rebecca has shown up for people this season, especially here in the latter half. Rebecca is almost certainly being driven a little crazy by the unfinished parts of what Tish told her, but she isn’t isolating herself. In calling Roy out for his avoidant behaviors and lack of accountability for the press conference (and, of course, the way his work performance mirrors his decision to leave his relationship with Keeley), she demonstrates accountability as a boss and as a friend. I don’t need to see Rebecca conducting meetings or writing emails to know she’s working, but it felt really important to me to see her get upset with Roy, both professionally and personally, and break through his exterior. Ted, Trent, Phoebe, and even Keeley have chipped away at it this season, but the epiphany required Rebecca being Rebecca. And the energy between Rebecca and Roy is very !!!

I loved the way the Nate-Rupert-Jade, Rebecca-Roy, and Roy-Isaac(-Will!) interactions all reinforce the idea that no one has the full picture of what is happening in another person’s brain, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t act on truths as they are revealed, as difficult as it may be. 

As a queer person who is thankfully many years removed from the most stressful coming-out experiences I’ve had (although of course there are still plenty of moments of having to explain or identify oneself to another person—it never really ends—I consider myself “out” in that everyone in my life who I care about knowing knows I’m queer, and, so long as general safety is established, I feel able to explain it to additional people in most contexts without much or any stress), I really loved and appreciated Colin’s storyline here. Very little about my identity or place in the world resembles Colins, but so much of this episode resonated. We’ve already seen Colin describe his relationship to his sexual identity to Trent, and within that same conversation he spoke about not wanting to be a spokesperson with the pressure of publicly representing gay men. I absolutely love that the framing of the locker room scene respected those desires; he tells his teammates and coaches he’s gay, but we the public aren’t part of the several seconds that the literal announcement occurs. We get to see the freedom and relief the truth brings him, but the lessons of this episode are for the people around him. 

The downside of writing this a couple days after the episode airs means I’ve read a lot of discourse, but I don’t think this episode did a disservice to Isaac or Colin. The writers room in s3 included writers specifically experientially equipped to tell this story, and to me, it shows. It shows in the realism of Isaac’s well-meaning questions (which Colin wouldn’t have answered so graciously if Isaac wasn’t so genuinely curious and caring!), and the tiring ways that queer people are burdened with conversational “obligations” and explanations that are just different than what straight people deal with. Ignorance and awareness exist on an incredibly long spectrum, and for me this story was affirming, not traumatizing, beautiful, and yet it also included the exhausting imperfections that cloak even the most positive coming-out experiences. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Ted’s speech. Basically ever since Colin said the thing about Grindr in s2, I’ve been certain Colin would come out as gay to the team and reckon with being closeted in the context of the men’s Premier League. And literally since he made that little comment, I’ve been nervous about how Ted would react. I already knew he was a politically progressive person who identified himself as an ally, so I wasn’t afraid he’d have some kind of bigoted rejection reaction. But I did worry that his reaction would be sooooo cringe and try-hard and awkward that I’d legitimately run into issues writing and posting fiction about his obvious latent bisexuality on our home away from home, Archive of Our Own. And while Ted’s seven-layer-dip Denver Broncos analogy WAS cringe and try-hard and off-base, I absolutely loved how unflinchingly imperfect it was and how, despite those imperfections, his instinct re: the point he actually wanted to make was spot on and extremely valuable. If a white, middle-aged, (past-tense-ish hahahahahahaha I’m so normal about the word “was”) straight man who’s worked in sports his whole life had figured out the perfect thing to say, I’d have rolled my eyes at the screen. It felt realistic to me that he desperately wanted to find an analogy or connection point, immediately regretted it, and still—because of who he is when the din of his thoughts gives way actual clarity—managed to articulate that it’s very, very important that Colin’s community actually cares about who Colin is and that he was able to share this information with them. It’s the difference, in many ways, between being doomed to continue to feel like you have two lives (because you’re surrounded every day by people who look past something important to you or pretend not to see the differences) vs. knowing that even if you never come out to the entire world, you aren’t splintering yourself because you’re able to be your whole self around the people who actually matter. Anyway, the speech was imperfect and unwieldy, and that was the point, and his actual message was essential for everyone in that room to hear, and that was the point, and I will be capable of continuing to write fic in which Ted is attracted to men without his reaction to Colin haunting me. (I actually already have an idea for a future fic in which he reflects more, but that’s literally a story for another time.)

At this point in the season, I feel so curious about, um. What is happening. With Ted Lasso. The guy. In both s1 and s2, I felt about a millimeter away from him at all times, even when he wasn’t onscreen. This season, he’s so intentionally obscured. Getting to go to that museum in Amsterdam with him—and, perhaps even more importantly, the Yankee Doodle Burger Barn, and perhaps even more importantly than that, the back of that bus—was a relief and a reconnection point that was much needed, but I am absolutely FASCINATED and MYSTIFIED at this point in time at just how effective and maddening it is that I’m having a lot of trouble understanding how he truly feels about himself and the people around him. Like, I would obviously love to watch him be in love with Rebecca. But I would also love to watch him be in love with a place, or with two places, or with coaching, or with his partially-lost Beard, or with the words and images that have come to him in visions, or even with the unhealthy things that pull at him, like booze and stewing and obsession. Basically every episode—at least for me—contains some glimmer of connection, to his self or to one of his friends, and it’s always fleeting, and I’m holding onto the almost certainty of the fact that the decisions he has to make are going to require some kind of visible reckoning. Most of my nerves about the final three episodes of this show as we know it are related to these questions. 

As for this episode, I don’t think I’ve quite captured the FEELINGS I felt while watching it. (I also completely failed to go into Ted sharing his biscuits with Keeley and continuing his perfect streak of making it super weird whenever he shares biscuits with a non-Rebecca person. I LOVED IT.) This was the episode that made me the most audibly squeal-y this season. And the most curious about how Ted has managed to get so far into his own brain that I actually miss him on his own show! Very curious stuff. What are the next three Tuesdays going to do to my brain and heart?

[andreal831]

Are there any characters/ships (in any movie/show) that you dislike almost entirely due to fans?

This lowkey feels like a setup lmao.

There are characters and ships that I stopped caring about because of toxic fandoms, but I don't think it's ever entirely due to fans. There is usually deeper reasons I don't like them and the fans just make it worse.

For instance, if you have been on any of my pages, you know I don't like klaroline. I want to preface this with saying, just because I say I don't like a ship, doesn't mean I am saying no one can like them. This is my opinion, everyone is entitled to their opinions. I actually liked klaroline my very first watch through of TVD when I was younger, but after that, I didn't see the appeal. This was all long before I was aware of the fandom and found out the some of the stans were actually threatening a real life person and got her fired from her job. I have since had my own life experience which make it impossible for me to like any ships that involve physical violence. I am never going to like a ship where one of the characters has physically harmed/tried to kill the other. So it has less to do with the fans than my own perception. That being said the fans don't help.

I really liked Caroline throughout my time in the fandom, but seeing people get personally attacked because of any perceived critique just makes me not want to interact with that side of the fandom. It doesn't mean I don't still like her. I just don't make contact revolving her and she subsequently gets moved lower on my list of favorites because I just don't spend time thinking about her. I also personally love to criticize even my favorite characters. If the fans are unable to do that, I won't post about them because I just don't feel like dealing with it.

This is not an exhaustive list, but it does tend to be the stans that I personally see get the most aggressive. I have also interacted with wonderfully nice and compassionate Klaroline/Caroline stans. It's always upsetting when the toxic minority ruins it for everyone.

I will say, to me the actors are much more likely to make me dislike their character a lot more than the fandom. For instance, very early in the fandom I saw terrible posts from Nate Buz just being an awful human, so I was just never able to see the appeal of Kol. I know people say to "separate the actor for the character," but to me this only goes one way. You should never hold a character against an actor, but I am going to hold the actor against the character. It doesn't matter what compelling role Nate Buz plays, I just can't stand even hearing him speak.

I know you asked about other fandoms but this is the only fandom I really got into well enough to feel the effects of the toxic stans. I was apart of the Harry Potter fandom for a while, but toxic fans only served to make me stop interacting, not dislike any characters. And the main reason I stopped was because JKR came out as a terrible human. Same thing with Twilight.

Every fandom is going to have toxic people. That's just life. I try to avoid it and interact with people who are excited to have positive interactions. But seeing the toxicity is upsetting. It won't make me completely dislike a character but I will hesitate to interact with that side of the fandom and naturally move away from that character.

Also I know there are characters I post about that have toxic stans as well, but I tend to see them less. I don't know if there are less people or if I'm just in a safe bubble. I would love if people could just be nice to each other and accept that we don't all view characters the same way.

Thanks for the ask!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Icebreaker Book Review 🦇

[ Find my review on Goodreads | Storygraph | Instagram ]

❓ #QOTD Ice skating or hockey? ❓ 🦇 Anatasia "Stassie" Allen is SO close to qualifying for Team USA alongside her competitive figure ice skating partner, Aaron. Also a student at Maple Hills College is Nathan Hawkins, captain of the school's hockey team. Unfortunately, a messy misunderstanding leaves both teams sharing an ice skating rink; a hitch in Stassie's rigorous schedule that could impede her efforts. Can Stassie and Nathan get along enough to help one another succeed, or will they only butt heads (and skates)?

💜 Given how much this book was hyped last year, it's no surprise that's brimming with plenty of romance tropes and smut. However, the story's true strength lies in its mental health representation, including the benefits of healthy communication to strengthen relationships and ongoing therapy. Both MCs are interesting, layered characters (though I have a few issues with Stassie, Nate is one of those bookish boyfriends you just want more of). Anastasia is a relatable female MC who recognizes her faults and strives to work past them. Nate is protective, a problem solver, a shield. They're well-matched. I also have to say I fell in love with the hockey boys, who are absolutely adorable.

🦇 Unfortunately, it felt like the author was trying to check off a long list of tropes for the sake of grabbing readers. The relationship relies on sex as the real catalyst (and suddenly all their tension and animosity is gone and forgotten) when Stassie and Nate could have developed a little more before sleeping together. The issue of them sharing a rink VERY quickly disappears as the main source of conflict, in exchange for a lot of 'can't keep their hands off each other' smut. The new source of conflict becomes Aaron, who is exhausting as an antagonist. While Stassie recognizes that Aaron isn't the villain in her story, he's painted as one until the very end, and the solution seems so simple that it's a shock Stassie didn't consider it before. The justifications for his behavior aren't enough, and there aren't enough positives to outweigh the negatives. While Stassie and Nate experience growth through their relationship, I wish we'd seen more development outside of their relationship with one another. They tend to exist in a cute, romantic bubble ("playing house"), leaving the bulk of their character development to occur when they're apart. Needless to say, this story has a weak plot for how long it drags on.

🦇 Recommended to fans of the Addicted Series or spicy BookTok favorites.

✨ The Vibes ✨ ⛸️ Enemies to Lovers 🏒 Spice ⛸️ He Falls First 🏒 Sports Romance ⛸️ Ice Skater x Hockey Captain 🏒 Grumpy vs Sunshine ⛸️ Mental Health Rep 🏒 Forced Proximity ⛸️ College Romance 🏒 Part of a Series

❝ “I know you don’t, but you’re worth defending. Every cut, bruise, every single pang of anger or frustration. It’s all worth it. I’d throw my last punch defending you because you deserve to have someone be that person for you, and there’s no one more qualified for the job than me.” ❞

❝ She’s taught me communicating doesn’t mean everything is perfect, it doesn’t mean we don’t disagree. It means we work through the imperfect bit together, and if we don’t agree, we at least know why the other feels that way, even if it’s not going to change our minds. We’re still individuals, but we’re individuals together, and I never knew relationships could be like this. ❞

[golbrocklovely]

sam and colby hell week review

finally sat down to write out all of my thoughts on hell week. i'm gonna break down each video, how i feel about them, rate them, and whether or not i would watch them again.

i also did one for last year so if you wanna see that, here it is.

i'm gonna also do some rankings and maybe a bit of comparison to last years, and what i would love for them to do in the future.

idk if this is gonna be super long or what, but feel free to skip around or just read the ending lol

yorktown hospital: major positives of this video - the group that snc went with. i love nate and seth, and i think all of them together works so well. i think the backstory of this place is horrendous and breaks my heart to hear about all of the terrible things that happened. what i did find funny was that this was the way snc found out that the organized religion can be sinful lol like… did they not know that the church can be corrupt, or did they know and were just surprised? either way, i thought it was kinda funny. the jump-scares throughout this video (at least in the intro/history portion) were not my favorite but it's fine. they definitely put their all into this first video, that's for sure. i think this video was the beginning of showing that snc, for some reason or another, were gonna really be hamming up their comedy bits in these videos. i'm not sure why they felt the need to really go all in on the jokes. i think for this one it was… okay? but as you'll see later in my reviews, i don't think it flies most times. and i think this is the first instance of them (sort of) being told to leave. the stuff that they caught in the chapel, both the first time and the estes method time, was very interesting and creepy. ngl, chapels/churches creep me out… idk why.

so before i started writing my review i watched two witches react to this video, and they talked about trickster spirits playing around with snc a lot in this video. and honestly, i kinda feel like that's the case in some way or another. they also pointed out that sam always go for the darker questions like "are you here to harm us", "are you evil", shit like that. and i never noticed it before until now. and this will also be the umpteenth time i say this but sam, please, for the love of god… STOP TRYING TO CONNECT EVERYTHING IN THE MOMENT.

the hallway investigation was cute, if not a bit dramatic. and the solo investigations were interesting as well. especially with nate and seth and the fogging of the camera??? that was kinda creepy. overall, while they didn't get a shit ton of evidence, i think the general vibe of the video fit well for hell week, especially the start of it.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: sure :)

~~~~~~~

mcraven mansion: going into this video, i wasn't exactly excited. mostly bc i wasn't happy about the collab. like, i get that they were on todd and brett's podcast, but what do they have to do with ghost hunting? this kinda feels like a last minute type of deal, like they were supposed to film with someone else but things fell thru. maybe i'm wrong about that tho lol but, surprisingly, this video was pretty okay. i didn't getting annoyed as much as i thought i was going to. this was the shortest video of hell week, and it honestly felt like it too. but at the same time, it kinda dragged a bit as well. also, i'm trying to be more open about ppl randomly being psychic around them, bc i myself also get weird feelings from time to time and i know what it's like to be seen as crazy for experiencing what i have. however, it's really hard to take ppl seriously when they say things all of sudden. especially when it comes out of no where OR they're someone that's never had a paranormal experience before. evidence wise, i don't remember them getting a whole bunch. the door opening, that was kinda spooky. the rempod going off like crazy was also pretty cool. OH THE HOURGLASS. that was very interesting. they should do that more often, especially if they feel like a place or a room is trapped in a time period. and the connection between that opened spirit box section and the tour guide... now THAT is something i would love for snc to do (when they get an editor that can just do their whole video lol) bc if they could back thru their evidence later and either connected it to some history they didn't know or what, i think that would add a whole new level to their videos. honestly, going back thru this video, i didn't realize how much i liked it. but something about it felt really rushed or weird to me. it has potential, but not enough follow-thru. also gotta add it: the phone falling out of brett's pocket was not paranormal lmao

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: maybe.

~~~~~~~

myrtles plantation: this video, highkey, was such a let down. i think the previous two were so good, especially for beginning hell week videos, and i expected this one to be a bit more solid. i had never heard of this place, so idk how haunted or not haunted it is. but i just feel like… nothing happened. i went into the video one way and came out the other side the same. i just feel very meh about this video overall.

the tour guide was very much… a tour guide lol idk how else to describe it, but she felt like someone trying to sell you on the place being spooky. and a side tangent, how come a lot of these videos don't have outros? or like, them talking about their night stay? very strange to leave out key details like that idk. the group that they were with, nate and amanda… yeah. i guess it worked. i'm always happy to see nate. and amanda is okay occasionally. this time around she wasn't up to her usual antics so i can appreciate that.

the reenactment…. why in god's green earth did snc do that, let alone leave it in? bc fun fact, they literally had a talk with their team before the video was posted about not including it. and i would love to know why no one thought to tell them that maybe it wasn't the most respectful thing to do. not only that, but it wasn't funny. so like… 0-2 there boys. the crystal that amanda gave colby was sweet, but knowing him he's not gonna use it to actually hone in his abilities. and the evil eye bracelets don't technically protect from evil spirits, just made mojo sent to you by humans, but it can't hurt you to have it so whatever. so the investigation itself was… fine, i guess. nothing too crazy. when they split off alone, that was where it got a bit interesting. sam was terrified, which always raises a red flag in me. bc while he can be jumpy or repeating "ooooh mmmyyy goooodddd" a lot, that doesn't mean he's scared. so when he actually is, it's a bit startling to me. the estes method with nate and amanda was actually pretty cool, i think that's where a lot of the evidence they got was the most compelling. and this is also the start of colby's audio being cut off. this happens like two or three more times and it makes no sense to me. idk if it's their camera (which is very possible) or if it's the ghosts, but either way, something doesn't want their conversation with colby to be known.

and the estes method with them all tied up around amanda was weird… but not in a paranormal way lol

rating: 2/5

would i rewatch: no :)

~~~~~~~

trans-allegheny: i liked this video a lot, both when i first watched it and rewatching to do this review. michelle was a great addition to the video. and while she was a bit jumpy, it honestly didn't bother me. i did find it funny that michelle is a badass compared to all the boys, yet she was freaked out the whole time. as for the investigation, again, this was one that fell a little flat, but i don't think it was snc's fault completely. for whatever reason, the ghosts were just not fucking around with them or their vibe. i know the hide and seek game wasn't exactly the best thing for them to do, or the hopscotch trigger event they pulled later, but i don't think they were super disrespectful to the spirits. but the voice they caught saying lily on camera and not in the evp recorder was very compelling. honestly that part was creepy as hell to me. the estes method with michelle... eh. i get she was scared, but this was the only time her jumping got a bit too much for me. also, it's interesting how whoever they were talking to didn't want them there at all. it kinda felt as if some bigger spirit wasn't allowing them to talk to who was actually there. it could be that or the spirits for whatever reason felt disrespected by them.

the hopscotch thing was.......... a thing. why do i have a sneaking suspicion that sam came up with this trigger event lol the hide and seek game was an interesting concept, i guess. props to michelle for hiding bc i would have said absolutely fuck no baby to snc. that voice box that they used towards the end was somehow way creepier than anything else in the video. i think cutting out the radio static makes whatever voices that do come thru all the more scarier. overall, while this video did feel like a filler, i wasn't upset about it. i think it was right on the line of fully fun investigation and filler.

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: yeah

~~~~~~~

old washoe club: so by this point in hell week, i want the scariest, the creepiest, the overall terrifying-est videos snc can give us. halloween is approaching and i want to be spooked. and this video was… not that. i said earlier it was a bit of grower on me, and i can see myself liking it later down the line. and i do think that's the case to some degree. like i said earlier, i watched two witches react to their videos, and this was one of them. so now watching it for a third time just to do this review is not exactly sitting well with me since i still have the same reactions as i did before.

the place itself, honestly, doesn't seem haunted to me. maybe residual energy, sure, but nothing actually demonic or scary. or so i thought for the most part. when kris got scratched, that was really freaky. part of me is bit skeptical, bc i feel like it could have been her (bc snc saying "oh she can't even reach that part" is not believable to me lol all she had to do was stand up straight and i'm sure she could have) but i'll take their word for it that it wasn't her and it was something there that did that. i'm surprised at how well composed she was for this entire video. honestly, when she's not around celina, she does better with paranormal in my opinion. that's not a rag on celina, just an observation i have lol

i will say the only two places that gave me bad vibes was the crypt and the red room. the crypt was pretty weird, and the flashlight literally moving, plus turning on and off like four times while doing so, was very intriguing. and of course it would pick colby. but what i thought was interesting was that, yet again, the audio for him cut out. part of me, again, thinks it might be the camera. i know they have two nightvision cameras, so i wonder if one of them is busted. but then another part of me is like "they've used both before in other videos (literally even the previous one) and it didn't glitch on them that time so… what gives?" but i think my favorite part of the whole video was colby saying "i felt an innocent presence with me". now THAT'S the shit i'm talking about !!! seriously, colby does stuff like that, and it just makes me more excited to see his path going forward with the paranormal.

as for the rest of the video, it was fine. the trigger event this time around didn't feel insulting, so that's nice i guess. and personally, i'm starting to think that little kid spirits just don't exist. nothing they were getting on the spirit box/ovilus was child related. the sls stuff they got was kinda interesting, but also just felt like a glitch to me. but they should pull out that device more often. i think the crystal ball part was a bit… obtuse? like, i get it. they want to do something to open up their psychic abilities, but… maybe read up on it more and not just go out and buy a crystal ball lol and kris standing in that room by herself - props to her. you can just tell she was freaking out and was scared out of her mind. but she remanded decently calm.

rating: a very soft 3/5

would i rewatch: not for a while lol but yeah at some point

~~~~~~~

bell witch cave: i'm gonna say what everyone else is thinking - this should have been the finale. at least, it feels like a finale type of video to me. nonetheless, i think this was their best investigation by far. i think it was on par with the conjuring which is why it also felt like it should have been the finale. the team they were with - fantastic. love the four of them. i think collectively snc always get the craziest stuff with seth and josh (minus the pine barrens which i think is snc's worst video to date, tied with crescent hotel, but feel free to disagree). also, just noticed this now rewatching it, but when they're in the cabin and snc tell josh and seth that they plan to not use equipment first, josh and seth tell them they call that "quiet-game shit" which... is highkey hilarious for some reason lol so the knocking, while it is pretty scary (and probably scarier in the moment), i always wonder if it's just the old ass houses they are in doing that. it's hard for me to wrap my head around a spirit being so strong enough to kill a man, but not strong enough to appear and speak, but instead resorts to knocks? idk. but regardless, i think them being freaked out is what freaked me out the most. bc you can tell when they're all genuinely scared versus hamming it up for the cameras.

but i have to note, that colby saying "in 2021, when we did queen mary, it almost feels like time didn't even go by at all and we're in like the ship for some reason." ....can someone check on him? please? bc that's a bit concerning. but also i need him to elaborate on that thought. do you mean that time feels a bit frozen to you? or was it just in the queen mary itself? or is it even now? bc all of those questions don't exactly lead to the same conclusions.

them using an actual witch to cleanse themselves.... round of applause for finally doing what we've been telling you for FUCKING YEARS TO DO. the onvoy glitching a bunch was pretty interesting, but i still have some issues with that device. but either way, it was confusing as to why that was happening. the cave itself was very spooky. something about this was way more creepier than even the catacombs they went to last year. something about the energy of that place is off. all of them going in and taking polaroids was actually a pretty interesting idea. and i think the execution was awesome and kinda terrifying. the fact that the camera just wasn't taking pics of colby..... immediate chills for me. also sam being that scared, again, spooks me more just bc of how serious he gets. both of their polaroids were weird as hell. it honestly looks like to me that there's a figure behind colby, but it's hard to tell bc of how warped the pic became. seth and josh hearings voices was freaky too. and you could tell they were legitimately scared by them. but i find it interesting that seth and josh's photos weren't all that weird looking. the final part was a bit all over the place, again - probably bc sam likes to connect everything together in the moment instead of just... letting it happen naturally, but i think the conclusion was overall pretty well.

rating: 5/5

would i rewatch: yes

~~~~~~~

winchester mystery house: i think a lot of us were kinda going into this video not excited, bc we know the dynamic kris and celina have. i know i wasn't excited about this video, and especially bc it got uploaded so late that it basically was on halloween, so i wanted something scary. conjuring level.

that's not what we got, but i was pleasantly surprised by this video.

but i do gotta talk about the negatives: the medium, the one present with them, was… idk. something about her felt fake. sorry. especially when she honed in on celina and said "oh you see dead ppl" which like…. what a convo starter. also telling her she needs to love herself and see herself the way others do or whatever. that was sweet, i'll give you that. but like, maybe don't include in the video, boys. it's not connected to the investigation so move it along.

the guides this time weren't as annoying as the last time, if i remember correctly. they didn't seem to be trying to get you to believe the place is haunted, just that there have been some strange stuff going on. i will say tho, this house to me has not a single spirit in it. idk what it is, but nothing about this house feels haunted at all. it feels peaceful in a way, but not haunted. also when they talk about the doors that lead to no where or the stairs that do that, all i can think is there was an earthquake there. shit that once existed does not anymore. maybe that's why shit doesn't make sense layout wise. especially the one door that leads to the outside. clearly there used to be a deck there that isn't there now.

i think this time around the empathy that they have for sarah is a really nice change of pace. i don't think last time they were disrespectful, more so that they just believed that hype of the legend of her being a crazy woman.

the numerology, while i know some of you don't believe it, is what (to me) saved this video from being ass. i think regardless of how you feel about it, it's very intriguing to see how the numbers relate to snc. kris and celina's, gonna be honest, i don't know them well enough to really say one way or another. but snc's numbers are the most interesting to me. so sam's being the guide makes perfect sense, i think. would i say he's colby's guide? maybe yes maybe no. i think sam definitely helps colby a lot figure out what he truly wants to do and has directed him down a really good path in life. i think they mesh well together in a lot of ways. and i think sam's more logical/cynical side gets balanced out by colby's more positive/dream-like side. sam said it once before, that his favorite attribute about colby is his smile bc he always just makes everyone else happy and that is 1000% RIGHT. as for colby's number, i mean… is it suprising to anyone? seriously, i recommend you read up on number 11s and see how much really connects with colby bc highkey some are just spot on.

if anyone wants to know mine, i'm a 2 :)

but back to the investigation portion - while i don't know how much i believe in celina's abilities, i do think she definitely feels things regardless. and that in itself kinda proves she has some ability. i think evidence wise, they didn't catch all that much. the voice they heard, them seeing things possibly, celina following who she thought was sarah… it was sort of compelling, sort of meh. again, the thing that stood out to me was the numerology stuff.

and as for them going thru the house on their own, the audio cutting off on colby AGAIN is insane to me. how is that possible??? and sam being fucking terrified for some reason was really strange to me. his spirits were high all night, but the moment he thought he saw something, he was about ready to shit himself. i'm concerned for him and the way he jumps from borderline cold towards the paranormal to scared shitless. he should really work on finding a middle ground and centering himself when he does get scared.

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: possibly, but most likely only for the numerology stuff

~~~~~~~

overall rating of hell week: 3.5/5

wouldn't you believe it: i'm basically giving the same rating to hell week as i did last year. bc i realized this half-way thru hell week - both seasons of hell week are like any other season of snc. they just give it a better title. bc think about it, take last year's hell week. everyone i've come across has said that last years was so much better. if that's the case, take out the conjuring finale….. is it really better than what we got this year? bc i don't think so. i think both are on par with one another. hell technically, i did the average score for both hell weeks and this one ranked higher, but by like .01 percent. so that's what i mean. both hell weeks are fine. but they aren't spectacular. snc have a better chance of filming a one off scary-ass video than they do planning to film a scary video.

to quote myself from an ask not too long ago: i honestly feel like both hell weeks were average at best. the only reason the first one felt crazy was bc it was first. also, snc hadn’t been doing all paranormal last year. they started 2021 out with 25x25, then stopped bc it wasn’t gaining views, did paranormal for a hot minute, went to chernobyl, and then did hell week. there had been a long enough pause between content, and i think them going back to the conjuring, alone, added to hell week feeling special. but in reality… it was basically the precursor to what they ended up doing this year. it just felt cooler back then.

here are some things that i would love for snc to do in the future, for both hell week and any other seasons they plan to do:

please, for the love of god, stop freaking out so much. take it down even one notch, and i swear the content will be better.

sam, stop talking over every estes method. stop trying to connect everything WHILE it's happening. do that later, or when the estes method is over.

colby, go to a psychic or witch or something and start reading up on your abilities. i NEED you to be more empathic lol

do at least one investigation per season solo. if you want someone with you in the beginning, sure. but go alone, with just the two of you. bc that content is fire regardless of what you get.

use the sls camera more.

if you can find a way to let us hear what the spirit box is saying during an estes method, that would be awesome.

find a way to go back thru videos after you've filmed them and see if things are connected that you didn't realize before.

maybe tone down the hyping up of every video bc then it ends up being a let down when it isn't the best

if you do hell week again, you gotta post the videos from creepiest to scariest bc otherwise it just ends up feeling a bit mish-mashed

there's probably other stuff i could add, but i'll just let them focus on this lol (as if they'll ever see it)

i genuinely enjoyed hell week, and i'm excited to see what the future holds for snc. i don't see them getting worse, so everything can only go up from here.

ranking of the videos

bell witch cave

yorktown hospital

trans-allegheny

winchester mystery house

washoe club

mcraven mansion

myrtles plantation

[terrainofheartfelt]

in a world where dan and blair ended up together, what do you think would have been realistic outcomes for serena and the trout? i'm in the midst of a rewatch of the show, and a lot of serena's decisions when she either breaks up with nate or with someone else are...interesting. and that's not even touching on trout's issues lol. i love your thoughts on blair (and her relationship with dan) and i'm curious about your thoughts ^-^

oh hello!!!!!!! i am so glad you asked I love asks <3

the longer I sun myself in this gossip girl sandbox, the more I believe that serena's best endgame match (of the characters we meet bc that's the only way it's fun) is: Vanessa. I'm going all in on serenessa.

i actually lowkey have this fic idea where they run into each other because of their work. like, vanessa has a documentary premiering at SXSW, and serena is there in her position as a photojournalist/travel writer/photographer idk. and a mutual friend at a festival event is like "these two should meet each other" and so it goes......

yeah. i like that for her. I like the idea of serena having work that is adjacent to her mom's passion, because in a poetic kind of way she grows up "being like her mom" which was the thing she dreaded the most, but this way it's good,like she grew up to be the best version of her mom.

but i also think she'd have many artistic pursuits and she'd probably chase after them all. and rotate through them all. like I think tattoo artist!serena would be hot. she would paint of course. do more photography (pick up cheesy school photoshoot gigs every now and then. and events. i think she'd like that fly-on-the-wall experience, de-centering herself and being a witness). she works at a ceramics painting place once.

(do i also enjoy a version of serena's future where she and carter have a in-every-port, what-happens-in-vegas kind of thing going on? yes. yes I do) (she can have both)

for chip wiskers......not to bring too many real world references into the mix......but i think it would be really funny if he went bankrupt/his businesses went under because he was found liable for fraud because he lied and grossly overestimated the value of his real estate holdings to increase his bottom line. that be fun for me.

i would also accept: is lost in a titanic deep sea expedition that only billionaires can afford; is hit by a car and killed like ryan phillipe's character in cruel intentions; has a stroke on his private jet flight to negotiate a merger; is trapped in georgina's attic a la mrs rochester

[lunar-years]

I've had the theory for a while, based on the way he talks about her like she's not an active part of his life anymore, and because it would be an interesting parallel to Rebecca and Sassy/Nora, that Jamie probably stopped talking to his mother sometime in maybe his mid to late teens specifically because of his father's influence. The show's shown multiple times how good abusive people are at driving a wedge between you and the people who are actually caring positive influences in your life, and maybe he feels badly enough about the way he acted toward her when they spoke last that he's avoided trying to reconnect because he's afraid she hates him/ won't forgive him. And a reconciliation between Jamie and his mother could be an interesting parallel to the inevitable reconciliation between Nate and Ted (who we've seen Rupert actively trying to keep out of Nate's life)

"The show's shown multiple times how good abusive people are at driving a wedge between you and the people who are actually caring positive influences in your life." I agree with this so very much. I think Jamie's experiences with his father definitely led to him pushing away and isolating himself from the good people in his life, too. We see in s1 how he puts up barriers and uses bullying in part as a means of stopping anyone from getting too close to him. It really makes me think Keeley is the first person he's let see a different and more vulnerable side of him in quite some time.

Also, we do know Jamie and his mum were at least still close enough to go on a very memorable trip to Amsterdam together when he was 16-ish. But the way I see it, once he started really playing professionally and moved out, he started to distance himself from her in an attempt to cut out his past completely (cope with it by not coping with it, essentially, and his mum was the collateral).

I also think that by nature, the relationship probably involved a lot of secrets and things left unsaid between them; I have no doubt Jamie's mum knew James Sr.'s worst traits (and was likely a victim of his abuse herself, though perhaps not in the same ways as Jamie), but I struggle to see how his dad would have had such an influence on his teenage years if his very loving mother knew the full or even a small extent of the man's level of abuse towards their son. I do not think Jamie told her anything and he actually probably worked very hard to keep it from her. And I also think it's possible that part of the way his mum dealt with her own trauma was by not allowing herself to entertain the idea that James Sr.'s abuse extended to Jamie, too, even if a part of her suspected things weren't entirely right.

[elfcollector]

I know you loved being asked about your characters, so who are your DA characters who aren't on the OC page? Aside from Solene.

oh i love you anon. more than there are words for. im just gonna do the da ones for the sake of my sanity

ok so i am gonna take about solene briefly anyway even tho u said aside from solene. very orlesian, loves and adores orlais, thinks fereldan is smelly but is more loyal to the wardens than much else so when they need someone to go take over fereldan's wardens and she's put forward, she accepts the invite. came from a very poor family and watched her father abuse her mother and knew she had nothing to look forward to except marrying a man who'd do the same to her — so when the magic came and she was spirited away to be safe, clothed and fed well, freed of the responsibility of ever marrying, and given extensive chances to study, she loved it. she was a perfect fit for the circle, and had a genuinely positive experience. she doesn't agree intellectually with caging people based on an accident of their birth, but she's got no personal beef and basically considers it a necessary evil. it isn't until she becomes close friends with anders that she begins rethinking that stance. comes to really love fereldan, and the fact that she surreptitiously marries nate is only 30% of why. very pretty, feminine, loves fashion and is always wearing at least a little makeup. oh, also, she knows clarel and has beef with her lmao

the warden that precedes solene, who dies and necessitates an orlesian warden — his name is emmett cousland. he's sort of spoiled; used to getting what he wants, to being the envy of everyone, etc. irresponsible, hedonistic...bit of a bastard. but after becoming the warden he falls for and just adores morrigan more than there are words for, and she combined with his other friends inspires him to actually take his responsibilities to others as a noble seriously and care about more than his own fun. it's this growth that inspires him to sacrifice himself; he performed the dark ritual with morrigan but, the next day, realizes that if morrigan has this old god baby...he knows morrigan. he knows she'll take such good care of the kid. he knows she'll be a wonderful mom, he's sure of that long before morrigan is. but he doesn't want his child to deal with that suffering, and...morrigan worked so hard to free herself from flemeth. but this is just another errand flemeth sent her on, another way flemeth was using her, and he doesn't want that for his love. so he sacrificed himself to ensure that his child could have a normal life and that morrigan could finally be free of flemeth and being used by flemeth. i don't think morrigan ever fully forgives him. i have literally never played his game he purely exists in my head to faciliate to solene but i do love him and do WANT to play thru origins as him eventually, there's just. so many games in the world

i've got a rogue hawke named petra! power hunger trickster, rivalmances sebastian. i never got very far on her game, but she experiences suuuuch intense magic envy...she never felt like she could connect to her father, who she WORSHIPS, because she lacked magic...it caused a lot of resentment

let's see who else...i have two vashoth inkies. one of them is named tanen, but she also goes by tanny; she's very sweet and shy and feminine and sweet, but also strong enough in herself that she doesn't care about outside validation terribly much. josiemancer, they make me cry. her little sister became an abomination, a few years prior to the game, and tanen had to kill her — it haunts her badly, but she does what she can to survive and smile and move one. the epitome of "strength in softness." super feminine, loves tying ribbons to her horns

the other is named sataara, and i never got very far in her game, though i do adore her. she's an escaped saarebas, and was one between the ages of nine and twenty - three, which was fully horrible in the ways you'd expect — the other side of that horrible trauma, though, is that she knows that she's already experienced the worst life has to offer. everything else is just making the most of her life! she's impulsive and joyous and generally pretty content. i never settled on a romance for her...i was bopping between sera or cullen, i think. sera's self-explanatory, but i also think there's something fun and horrible abt the obvious angst inherent in dating cullen as a mage thats exemplified with a qunari, given that cullen has trauma with them, too. sataara vc i escaped the qun because they thought my magic was awful and fell in love with a blond man with magic problems. goddammit

[dotthings]

Gotham Knights ep 1.08 "Belly of the Beast" Thank you to writers David Paul Francis and Nate Gualtieri (who are on the picket lines)

This ep was so stylish and dark, in themes and in the beautiful lighting and sets.

Also Duela's gown, A+.

Harper and Cullen's sibling banter and Cullen teasing Harper about how she's softened towards Steph. I love their sibling bond. And seeing how they look after each other while they both grow more deeply attached into the Knights' circle, they have more than just each other to lean on now.

Duela and Turner seem to be trying very hard not to like each other or care too much in this episode and fail at it completely. Turner sending Duela to get away with the map while he gets captured by the Court, and Duela, who mostly operates on a basis of self-preservation, showing vulnerable cracks at the idea of not going to rescue Turner right this minute.

Carrie, with tears in her eyes, making reasonable points about why they have to wait. Caring about Turner, but also thinking of the whole group and what's at stake if they rush in to save Turner and get themselves killed. That actually had some Batman energy. The caring goes very deep, but the ability to assess the situation and hold back when necessary. They can't save Turner if they get themselves killed. They can't save Gotham if they get themselves killed. As Robin, Carrie has a bit of a leadership role--the one with experience being a vigilante, who was mentored by Batman, she's been guiding and helping the rest of the Knights since the start. They are not dying on her watch.

Duela is more in a position to act and think more selfishly (not in a negative sense, but she can afford to in ways Carrie can't right then), and showed her vulnerable underbelly.

Oh, Steph. Carrying the world on her shoulders and having to parent both her parents--her mother, spiraling down into addiction, and her father, the enabler who doesn't want to face how severe the situation is. And then blames Steph for her mother's tantrums when Steph tries to stop the cycle. Steph would be better off being a vigilante with the Knights than trying to parent-wrangle. She needs them.

It seems that it's not just Harvey's mhi issues in play. The Court (I am assuming The Court, but there could be another player on the board doing this) is exploiting his mhi it looks like. He loses time again, has a blackout. The music on the cassette player was a trigger. The subtly of the expression on Harvey's face when he heard it, the way he went unhinged, but you had to be watching closely. *chef's kiss*

Oh, I was right about Lincoln. Talon doesn't miss. That attack was staged, where Lincoln really was stabbed, but purposefully do he didn't die. So he could be stabbed right in front of Harvey.

Rebecca continues to behave like the female lead of a classic Hollywood noir or a Hitchcock thriller. While she may not be able to save Harvey, maybe she'll be the one to take down Lincoln. The archetype from film I'm thinking of may seem vulnerable and scared but are also often the ones who kneecap the villain (or are the masterminds themselves but I don't think it's the latter in Rebecca's case).

I was also right about Bruce. The changes to his will were for the good of the people of Gotham. To give them a way out of being under the thumb of The Court of Owls.

Cressida was corrupt, but she wasn't corrupt all the way through. I think she didn't have many choices and was trying to survive, not that it's the excuse, but I think her motivations were mainly about self preservation, the Court of Owls is terrifying, and the cruelty and greed she participated in must have made it hard for her to look in the mirror. So morally corrupt as she was, she still hit the wall, and the idea of Gotham forever controlled by a group of greedy, corrupt, immortal and immoral monsters, forever, with no hope for a way out, was more than she could endure. So she risked it all to stop them. I'm thinking part of her hoped that Batman would win. When Batman died, so did her hope.

[jthm-moved]

for the character ask thingy : nathan explosion:3

:evil: i did this for him 2 years ago on my defunct sideblog but now my brain is 5x bigger

Sexuality Headcanon:

bi but EXTREMELY repressed. i can see his parents being kind of homophobic given the area he grew up in (love them tho. they progressed past it but nate was already on the road by then so he was never reassured or given the opportunity to confront himself), so feeling that way towards another guy makes him feel guilty & scared of being left alone over something really stupid. what scares him most is his friendship w pickles being ruined bc of romantic feelings despite the fact that pickles is... canonically lgbt. silly oblivious nate

Gender Headcanon:

obviously gnc. agender but with a strong attachment to traditional masculinity. he/it/they pronouns, primarily uses he/him, someone using it or they for him makes him feel really powerful and above humanity. little bit of an ego thing lol

A ship I have with said character:

i genuinely believe nathan and pickles are connected through the prophecy to always be together in some way. homoerotic fate that saves the universe or something. they understand each other more than anyone ever could or will.

A BROTP I have with said character:

murderexplosion is really cute (-: nate and will have similar feelings about themselves and the world around them so they get along well. i love when they're in scenes together they bounce off of each other nicely. platonic-w-homoerotic-tension nickles is always a favorite

A NOTP I have with said character:

as said previously i don't like romantic explosiontooth bc of nathan's position as a father figure in toki's life ...i also REALLY do not like how nategail was handled in canon, there was potential w their character types having good chemistry but having it be so rushed really ruined it for me. i'd be fine with it if it had progressed over a season or more instead of 4 episodes. abigail is a criminally underused character in general, she has a lot of potential on her own and they really should have introduced her sooner

A random headcanon:

i'll give you a few <3

i consider him being autistic to be canon so in relation to that, his perfectionism is at its most unbearable when it comes to personal hygiene. he takes 2 showers every day at the same times, 3 if they're touring. if he doesn't have a specific type of soap he will freak out--this manifests as him being extremely on edge and unable to do anything until he gets more of it. wearing the same simple outfit almost every day is also related to this

pickles was the first guy he experimented with after his other high school dropout buddies took him to a bar to drink illegally on his 20th birthday. pickles was almost 23 and nearing the end of a tour, as well as the end of snb

he has a secret stash of magazines in which snb was featured kept in pristine condition

the gigantic red blanket on his bed is weighted. 50lbs

he loves small animals and children bc he feels like he can be himself around them without typical societal judgement, but is scared of even being in proximity to them due to his size and inability to control his strength. feeding ducks is the best alternative

he's 23 in s1e1, making him 31 by doomstar. he's a november scorpio

General Opinion over said character:

do i even need to answer.

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Watched all of that 90’s show in one sitting and I have some thought

Overall, a positive watching experience. They rely just enough on the cameos and references to the original series in the first couple of episodes to draw you in, and the relationships between the kids and red and kitty a little rocky, but they definitely find their grove by episode 4, which yes is almost halfway but also pretty early on

It’s just the right amount of cheesy, mixed with sweet and genuinely hilarious jokes “I’ve never seen so many Jennifer’s crying at one time” took me out.

Leia. Whoever cast this girl as the kid of Donna and Eric deserves a fucking award of some kind. She’s literally a perfect blend of Eric and Donna. Those scenes with her and Donna was actually like watching a mother and daughter.

The gang. Nate is big and dumb and perfect, Nikki is the perfect level of mean and genuine, Jay fills the pretty, dumb “man whore” well.

Gwen. Perfect. Incredible. Amazing. I can’t figure out if she’s meant to fill the Donna or Hyde role or some combination of the two, either way it’s done well.

Ozzie. It’s so nice to see a the gay friend trope with a heavyset kid instead of some skinny white twink. I’ve never actually seen a character with that body type, my body type, portrayed that well. I see a lot of my self and Ozzie and I love that. His size isn’t a part of his character, he just is and that’s the way it should be.

Please, keep Wilmer Valderrama away from these girls and off the set. We don’t need to see any more of fez, WHY was he SMOKING WITH THE CHILDREN AND DONNA CAUGHT HIM AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHIIIINNNGGGG?!??

[fuzzydreamin]

1,3,8, edgy ask for ur babies

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

✪ Nora: While Nora might like to say something like the bombs falling, or Nate being killed, or anything to do with Shaun, she really wouldn't want to forget.

She values her mind and that includes her memories, and the thought of willingly giving up even a second of what she had with Nate, even the worst moments, would be like cutting out a piece of herself. They might hurt sometimes, but there's love and comfort there too, not to mention the experiences that help make her who she is now, and she wouldn't want to live with an empty wound in their place. To her, that's like slicing your finger open and then just cutting it off instead of bandaging it. It hurts now, and it might not be the same as it was before even after it heals, but you still have it. It's still part of you.

✝ Alberta: A lot. They drink themselves silly, engange in unsafe acts of all kinds, and never settle in one place, mostly because they can't stand the thought of being trapped with their own thoughts and memories.

There are certainly several things they would have liked to have just not happened to them at all, that still haunt them in some way. But at the same time, given the option... it's hard to say what they would choose. There are still some things in their life that they are desperately clinging to.

They are sort of forced to settle down a little more in the few years before Fo4 takes place, because their health has deteriorated and they simply can't keep wandering around anymore. But they spend most of that time either asleep or just hanging out in their bed in The Chop Shop, or drinking at Carol's Place despite Dr Barrows' recommendation that they not do that.

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Family/loved ones for both of them. They would do just about anything to ensure they can save or protect the people they really care about, and would consider doing bad things if asked by those people (compellingly).

✪ Nora: Pride and lust for control. I mean, no one can do bad things to you or the people you love if you're holding all of the power right? If you can ensure that you will always outsmart, outgun, and outmatch anyone who could be a threat to you then you don't have to worry about anything (except, you know, having the ability to do those things).

She's somewhat aware of it, moreso as the story goes on, but it can get drowned out by her reasons for feeling that way.

✝ Alberta: Lack of self-worth and a desire to feel loved and useful to those she cares for. They are willing to throw caution to the wind and do just about anything they feel they need to if pushed, and are willing to edge around their own morals for others.

Al is fully aware of this weakness, but not good at fighting it. The best course of action to them is to avoid situations that would put them in such a position, because that's much easier to them than saying no.

They're sorta inverses of each other here. Where Nora is willing to weild just about any weapon, Al is willing to be the weapon.

8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Yes. They can, and do. Technically.

I mean, it's fallout and people are killed all the time. Mostly it depends on where, why, and how. Also what you consider to be murder in said worlds context - just any sort of killing, or premeditated only? Must the victim be wholly innocent, or is a 'guilty' person less deserving of justice on their part?

Either way, they can get away with it for sure.