#i love that i'm just the uti girl now

[cordeliawhohung]

was diagnosed with a uti earlier thought of you❤️❤️

LMFAO as someone who is still on bactrim i feel for you (and praying for you too if you got put on this shit)

remember to drink water, take azo if you're able (do NOT take this shit if you're wearing contacts tho. will turn that shit orange), and take probiotics!!! (not at the same time as you take your antibiotics. like 4 hours after or 4 hours before. you wanna avoid that c diff or yeast infection lmao)

wishing you a fast recovery and bloodless piss 👍

[moonstruckme]

Hi! First wanna say I love your writing of the marauders!! It’s amazing and really fills the need I have for their content so thank you! I was hoping to request something kinda similar to the aftercare poly!marauders washing up fic you just did but with a reader who can be exhausted but the minute they shower and get ready for bed they get a sudden burst of involuntary energy and can’t sleep anymore and they get cranky that they were sorta woken up and blame the boys for making her wash up and she’s just very bratty and upset and end it with fluff please?

I'm happy you enjoy it! Thanks for requesting <3

cw: very (very) brief implied smut

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You lie on your back, the trembling starting to die down and one hand still tangled loosely in Sirius’ hair. You close your eyes, trying to even out your breathing. Remus strokes the outside of your thigh, giving you the time you need to come down. But just as the sweat starts to cool on your body, just as your breathing relaxes into a more familiar rhythm and your mind starts to slip away, he says, “Alright, lovely girl. Let’s get up.” 

You sigh, but allow yourself to be hauled upright, mumbling a thanks into James’ shoulder as he piggybacks you into the bathroom. You barely have to stand upright by yourself as you let your boyfriends wash you off, taking turns supporting you and dipping under the showerhead themselves. Sirius teases you for being such a princess when you’re sleepy, and James says that he actually thinks you’d make a fantastic princess, thank Sirius very much, and Remus chuckles at the both of them, and it’s all so familiar it only lulls you further into your tranquil state. 

Before long, you’re wrapped in a warm towel and James is helping you into your favorite fuzzy pajamas, dropping a kiss on the top of your head when he’s finished. You start to crawl up the bed, loose-limbed and eager to slip between the warm sheets, but Remus stops you with a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, wait a minute.” He ducks his head, moving your curtain of wet hair aside so you’re forced to give him your attention. “Did you go to the bathroom?”

You whine, and the concern in his eyes morphs into knowing. “Not negotiable, dove. UTIs are not fun.” 

You flop petulantly onto the bed, face down. “Like you would know,” you grumble into the soft sheets. 

James chuckles, but grabs you around the ankles and tugs until your legs are hanging off the mattress. You clutch loose fistfulls of covers. 

“It’ll be okay jus’ this once,” you yawn. At the moment, a good night’s rest seems worth whatever mild inconvenience a UTI might cause. You’re so cozy, and sleep is right there, already coming to reclaim you despite your uncomfortable position at the end of the bed. 

“C’mon, just go so you can get in here with us, yeah?” Sirius says, prodding you with his foot from underneath the sheets. “Won’t take a couple minutes.” 

You groan but slide off the bed, walking zombie-like into the bathroom. The lighting seems harsher now that it’s not clouded by steam. You miss the warmth of the shower, the support of your boyfriends’ arms. The tile is cold under your feet and someone’s left the fan on, its whirring noisy and incessant. Everything seems more and worse than it was a few minutes before. 

By the time you’re done, you’ve woken up entirely against your will. The drowsiness from just a minute before feels like a distant, hazy memory. You tromp back into the bedroom, peering through the darkness at your droopy-eyed boyfriends. Envy curls in your stomach like a snake poised to strike. Your eyes, your muscles, your very bones are exhausted, yet you don’t think you could drift off even if someone poured a sleeping draught down your throat. Sirius cracks an eyelid to find you standing over the bed and lazily pulls back the covers, opening his arms for you. You feel like stomping your foot. 

“I’m not tired anymore,” you complain. Sirius blinks both eyes open, and Remus and James stir. “You guys made me get up, and now I won’t be able to sleep.” 

“Don’t be silly, dove.” Remus murmurs, not even opening his eyes. “Get in bed, you’ll fall asleep soon.” 

“I can’t,” you say, too frustrated to be embarrassed at the whiny pitch of your voice. 

“Whas’ going on?” James is beginning to rouse, and Remus gives you a cross look. Yeah, you think, that makes two of us. They’d all forced you to get up, and frankly, you’re not feeling too guilty about letting them have a taste of their own medicine.

“She says she can’t sleep,” Sirius replies, pushing up onto his elbow. 

James rolls over so he’s facing you, his eyes foggy and half-lidded. “D’you think you just need to warm up, sweetheart?”

You shake your head, but Sirius joins him. “Yeah, c’mere, baby. Let us fix you up.” 

And, well. You’re supposed to be mad, but it’s hard to resist an offer like that. 

Your huff is mostly performative as you crawl into the bed and Sirius’ waiting arms, letting him maneuver you over him so that you’re lying between him and Remus. It is considerably warmer underneath the covers, and you shuffle closer to Sirius. For body heat, of course. 

“Fuck, you are cold,” he mutters as your feet brush his calves, but he doesn’t pull away, rubbing warmth into your arms. 

“This isn’t going to work,” you say as one of his hands moves to your back, tracing smooth circles with his palm. “I still don’t feel tired.” 

“Try,” Remus says, managing to sound stern even on the brink of sleep. “Just close your eyes and give it a little while.”

You roll your eyes, tucking your head under Sirius’ chin. 

“I said close your eyes, dove.” 

You don’t know how Remus knows, but this time you comply. Quiet settles like a blanket over the four of you, the only sound the rhythmic swishing of fabric as Sirius’ hand moves over your back. He smells like his conditioner. You read the label once. It’s called Lilac Breeze, but its aroma is more complex than that, you think. It’s clove, and it’s midnight, and it’s Sirius, something fundamental to him that makes your breaths deepen and your mind settle. Remus nestles closer behind you, his cinnamony scent wafting over you and intertwining with Sirius’ until you’re doped up on loveliness. Every inch of you has warmed now, and your head sinks further into the pillow. Tension you didn’t realize you’d been holding in your hips and shoulders dissipates. Everything is warm and dark and soft. 

You realize you’re yawning too late to stifle the sound, and James chuckles. “Not tired, huh?”

“Shuddup,” you murmur, and Sirius’ breath fans hot over your forehead as he laughs silently, his hand never faltering on your back. You think you feel a kiss against the back of your head, and that’s the last thing you know before you fade into unconsciousness.

[cillianhead]

Strawberry Syrup || Cillian Murphy

summary: A hot day by the pool with your desperate boyfriend <3

Warnings: SMUT!! Dubcon Themes, Unprotected P in V, oral (f receiving), fingering, sex in the pool, public sex, Daddy kink, Food Play (LISTEN.... DON'T ACTUALLY DO THIS STUFF BC ITS UNSANITARY!! (it could give you a UTI or a yeast infection or anything like that D: ), sorta switch!Cillian, squirting, Adult content!! (some sorta self insert bits that are a bit toooooo personal but it's just like a mention of reader having tattoos and stuff hehe) (Age Gap mentions, Cillian is older, Reader is in her mid 20s and he's in his mid 30s) (Cillian is a horndog in this basically)

Short fic since I haven't uploaded anything in a while.

((also stuff in italics... is sort of like memories or something (so stuff in italics isn't necessarily related to the plot... but it's gonna be mixed throughout the whole fic so just a reminder the stuff that is ITALICISED is all stuff that's either "thoughts" or "memories of the past"))

(also currency is talked about and I used the words "dollars" and "cents" because that's just what I'm used to saying? But I know there's like pounds and all the other currencies there are KDSKDSKD)

18+ MINORS DNI

Cillian had been incredibly needy lately, following you everywhere you went like a lost puppy. He just wanted your attention even though he got plenty of it. Well... maybe not this past week. Cillian and you went at it like rabbits, like at least three times a day everyday kind of thing. But you wondered how long it would take for him to get on his knees and beg after getting denied over and over and over again for you to give him (and specifically his raging boner) any sort of attention. You were surprised you had made it even to the seven-day mark. But here you were.

Cillian had turned into a total cranky mess. And you were loving it. Of course, he could get himself off... that's what made it so good, every morning you'd pretend you're asleep while you listened to the sound of him whimpering and whining like a bitch in heat and fisting his cock as he got off to the sight of you 'sleeping'.

And fuck the sweltering summer air didn't help. The aircon was broken and you'd gone through a dozen fans, trying to blow away the hot air. But the heat was making Cillian feel stir-crazy. He had to have you. No matter how hot it was, no matter how sweaty or dehydrated, he had to have you right fucking now.

He had done about a thousand fucking laps of his substantially large swimming pool, trying to work his pent-up frustration and energy out but it only did so well. He had swam until his legs were cramped up, and his eyes stung from the chlorine, leading them to be bloodshot and somehow miraculously making his eyes even bluer (bluer than the aquamarine pool). And there you lie. In that bikini you know is too tight. And he thinks to himself 'Why do you even bother to be in your bikini when it's just the two of us and I can fucking see your entire pussy through that thing anyway?'. You're reading some romance novel, and you're wet but not from the pool. Cillian is rock hard in his soaking and tight swimming shorts, the head of his cock is barely concealed from peaking out. He's dripping wet and he's angry.

"Why de fuck have you been denying me of sex for the past.... 7 days and 15 hours or however de fuck long it's been, girl?" He huffed, sitting down and carelessly grabbing your book (which was fucking printed and published in the 70s... IT CAN'T HANDLE THE WATER) and tossing it to the side, onto the wet ground. You gasp and reach out to grab your book that's been smashed in like a yam and wet and torn apart but Cillian grabs you by your forearms, brushing your new fresh tattoo (the reason you weren't swimming) and making you hiss.

"Ow... why would you do that, Cillian?" You scolded, wriggling in his hold. But you knew what was happening... he was finally taking charge. The thing you loved most about Cillian was how he was so giving and so desperate to please you at all times, like an obedient dog. He was madly in love with you and submissive to your demands, anything you wanted, you'd get. And you'd boss him around in the bedroom but that was fine because Cillian was in love with your pussy too, and whatever it took to get it, he'd do it... even if he had to dress up as a clown to do so. But he was also controlling when he got it most of the time. Though he was nearing 35, he was still like a teenager when it came to you. Dick was hard at just the sight of you and he immediately would need your hand or your mouth (if he was lucky) or even your tight pussy that always wrapped around him so perfectly. It didn't matter where you were... if he was driving, he'd get it... if you were in a public park on a Sunday night, he'd get it... if you were in a grocery store on a Black Friday sale (he'd get it), waiting in line as he ground himself into your ass until he came in his pants... It looked like he was just hugging you from behind. But you had to stand there in horror as he did so because you couldn't make a scene.

"Answer me question... babe..." He whispered as he pressed you down into the softly cushioned sunbathing chair. You were both being cooked in the sun but you were both lathered in sunscreen so it was fine. Oh, the horror on Cillian's face as he watched slather the white creamy liquid over your tits and rubbed the lotion in so incredibly sexually. You didn't even let him touch your tits for this whole week, he was suffering. But Cillian didn't care that his back was already beginning to sunburn, he fucking needed you now and honestly he was so pussy-hungry that he didn't care what it takes to get his dick inside of you. In his eyes you were the lamb and he was the depraved wolf, drooling at the sight of your trembling body beneath him. Ready to be covered in your blood.

"I just..." You shook your head and smiled to yourself, laughing out air as you bit your lip. "I just thought maybe I was letting you have it too much... you were becoming too spoiled..."

"What does that even mean?" He huffed and leaned in, resting his full body weight on top of you so you couldn't move and his hips were aligned with yours so his hard cock could press upright against your nice and warm core. Though still through his swimmers and your thin little bikini thong.

"F-Fuck..." You whimpered, honestly, you had been suffering too... even your vibrator couldn't do it for you, and just the mere pressure of his thick cock up against you... you felt like you could cum. You arched your back involuntarily. "I just... fuck... thought maybe we needed a tolerance break?"

"A fuckin' tolerance break... I'm not a drug darlin' and neither are you, baby you're just depriving yourself of what you need..." He growled right into the shell of your ear, teeth nipping at your neck. "Let me in..." He was a bit drunk and horribly depraved and his voice was like gravel.

"Beg for it," You whispered out and Cillian groaned, this time fully collapsing in on you and laying his head in the crook of your neck, rocking his hips back and forth on yours. He humped you lazily and you allowed it, enjoying the whines he was making and the pleasure that was pulsing within you.

"Please... fucking hell... please..." He moaned with a cry. "I need you so bad... my hand won't do... it just won't do... please Y/N... please baby... let me fuck you... please... let me at least get a taste of ya once again..."

"Show me how good you can go down on me baby and I'll see if you're good enough to put your dick in me..." You hummed and he sighed as he began kissing you sloppily. "You can leave one mark... Cillian... ONE..."

"Thank you... thank you, sweet girl..." Cillian whined, hands beginning to cup your body cautiously. He was so afraid he was going to do something wrong and suddenly you'd deny him even the pleasure of having your clit in his mouth. But as he kissed down your chest his fingers trembled hesitantly over your bikini top, tits begging to be released. "Can I? Please?"

"Go ahead, Cill..." You hummed with a smug smile on your face. His hands instantly moved at your words of approval, tugging the fabric from off of your nipples and popping it into his mouth with a moan. Cillian's eyes closed as he sighed from his nose, finally satisfied for now. His thumb twiddled with your other nipple, causing you to let out breathy whimpers. "F-Fuck... Cillian..."

"Mmmm..." He groans, slobber dripping from his lips as he continues to rut himself into your hips. Cillian's hair was all messy from when he'd been in the pool, ends curling and falling over his face. He looked so pretty with your tit in his mouth.

"You're all mine..." You whispered, running your thumb along his razor-sharp cheekbone, skin softer than silk. "You're my property aren't you, Cillian?" You grabbed him by the nape of his neck, tugging on the roots of the longer hair that grew there. You pulled his head off of your nipple, his mouth agape and he whines like a brat.

"I'm yours, Y/N..." He huffs, leaning back down to keep sucking but you pulled harder on his neck as if he were a misbehaving kitten. "F-Fuck... I'm your property... darling... all yours... please... I just... I just want to please you..." "I know, honey..." You cooed with a smirk as you reached over to the table beside you and picked a strawberry from the batch and popped it in your mouth, sucking on it suggestively. "That's why you're gonna eat me out like your life depends on it..." You're amused as you watch him scramble to lie flat on his stomach between your legs and he watches as you take off your bikini bottoms and spread your legs open wide. His pupils dilated immediately at the sight.

"I've missed this so much," He whines, his voice breaking as he leans in and kisses your pussy. His eyes flutter close at the little taste of you, his mouth hovering ever so slightly above your cunt, not quite touching. His lips touch you again and as he licks up your pussy he moans and fully presses himself in there, snout buried into your clit as his tongue flickered in and out of your gushing hole.

"O-Oh... that's it..." You arch your back as you push his head further into your warmth. He was completely breathing you in now as your thighs squeezed your head but eventually, you felt two hands grab ahold of your shaky thighs and pin them down side by side until you were spread out. It was concerning how easily he was able to bend and shape you into different positions, molding you like clay. It helped that he was impossibly strong as he manhandled you down into this position, eating you out for his own pleasure, not yours.

You were a writhing mess and you felt embarrassed to admit that you were about to cum. "Fuck you need to slow down... need to slow down a bit for me... Cill..." You whimpered, moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear but you didn't care. But he only sped up, devouring you completely.

He was truly eating your pussy like his life depended on it because it did. Nothing else mattered to him but drinking down the sweet juice that your fruit of a pussy gave him. You may not be a drug but he was addicted to your cunt like it was one. Cillian had an obsession with you and he had an obsession with your perfect so-called 'heavenly' pussy. He wrote songs about you, he wrote poems about the euphoria of having your tight walls wrapped around him at all times, even during. Wet ink on wet skin, black ink smeared across your stomach as he wrote words that were coming into his mind, words you had inked on your skin with a tattoo machine later on.

"Cillian..." You whined loudly, your moan was pornographic, and with the way he could feel your heartbeat pounding against his tongue as he swirled it around your clit. His mouth was masterful and precise as you came on his face. He knew how to make you cum in a way no other did. You truly were soulmates. At least that's what he said. The sound of your whiny voice and how incredibly wet your pussy was, he just knew. So he slipped a finger into you and you seized up and cried as your body spasmed with pleasure. Only one finger made it feel like you were being stretched right open, you were always so tight and wet, and yet you could take so much. You knew he knew he had earned it... he had that look in those steel blue eyes, that cheeky look, full of mischief and lust that he knew it was okay for him to slip a finger in without asking because he was preparing you for what was to come.

"Fuck... Fuck... oh my god..." You had such a dirty mouth but you couldn't help the pathetic and inappropriate words or sounds you were making right now. Your consciousness and being were elsewhere as Cillian pushed you over the edge once more into an impending and mind-shattering orgasm. He slipped in a second finger and you mewled as you felt your cunt uncontrollably spasm as it squirted out onto Cillian's face and soaking his face oncemore. It was as if he had dived right into that 2 meters of water, soaking his entire face and chest, some of it even getting in his hair.

"Give it to me, baby girl... that's it..." He mumbled into your quivering pussy, your clit growing numb. One of his hands moved from its other position on keeping your hips in place to your nipples. He knew you so well and he knew all the buttons to push to make it that much better. It was overwhelming.

"O-Okay... Okay... that's enough... please... Cillian... please..." You cry tapping the top of his head impatiently and hesitantly he slipped his fingers from your sticky cunt and sat back up, pulling your legs over his so his crotch was perfectly aligned with your overstimulated pelvis. "Cillian... baby... I just need a moment..."

"Yeah? That's alright, my love," He whispered and he leaned in and kissed you, smearing your lips and face with your own cum. But at this point you were too drunk on your own pleasure to care, his lips to pretty... too irresistable to deny a kiss. That's one thing you hadn't denied him of... your lips. To kiss of course... nothing else. You made out like horny teenagers but you never did anything... barely touching him over his clothes. Just to get him really hot and bothered.

"I love you..." You whispered into his mouth that's dripping with drool and squirt.

"I love you more," He huffed and laid on you, lying his head on one of your tits and sighing happily. He looked over at all the fruit lying on the table that looked almost as delicious as you. "God that looks like good fruit..."

"Yeah..." You ran your fingers along his freckled back, muscles sculpted perfectly over his pointy shoulder blades. "Got them at the store yesterday... erm... they were on sale for like... two dollars and ninety cents or something..." You shrugged heavily as you began running your fingers through his hair.

"Wow... is that all? That's amazing..." He chirped and he raised his head up to look at your pretty face. "Well... did I prove myself to you, my darling girl?" "Y-Yeah... fuck... you really wanna do it right now?" You mumbled as you looked up into his eyes with a gaze full of love. You were still so sensitive from what had just happened, you hadn't cum like that for A WHOLE WEEK. You felt like you just took a dose of ecstasy. "Can we just cuddle for a bit?"

"Hmm...." He sighed, sitting up on the chair now and gazing down at how sticky your pussy looked and then at the strawberries that looked just as ripe and appetizing. He nodded. "Alright... baby... I'll give ya a little break..." He reached over and grabbed a strawberry from the bunch. It was red like the bruise he left on your neck. And as he bit into the juicy strawberry, he thought of you.

"Is it good?" You asked as you sat up a bit on the chair more and reaching out for one yourself.

"So good," He moaned with a mouthful of strawberry syrup and pulp. "Tastes like you."

"What?" You laughed and blushed as you ate your own strawberry. "You're so stupid..." You snickered as you ate.

"It's just the truth," He shrugged, the tops of his shoulders were flushed from the hot sun but the both of you were enjoying the warmth. "I love you... I am so in love with you... I am the luckiest man alive..."

"God shut up..." You rolled your eyes and smiled bashfully at his praising. But he loved it when you played it coy with him, he thought you were so cute. And he thought you could never look more beautiful, sunkissed and warm in the sun with him. Your hair is a mess and your tits are out and still wet from his spit. The straps of your bikini still help to accentuate your features and make you look like a treat he needs to unwrap.

"God I can't wait to put my cock in you..." He whispered as he pressed the tip of a strawberry to your sternum. The cold perked you up a bit as you watched him drag the strawberry down your stomach and onto your recovering pussy. He pressed the ruby red fruit onto your sticky clit and ran it down even further.

"Cillian... what are you doing... don't-" But you were interrupted by the feeling of an intrusion. He pressed the tip of the rather large and bulbous strawberry into your cunt, soaking it in your ambrosia-like cum. "Oh... Oh my god..." He pressed it in slightly deeper until he was only clutching at the stem and then he pulled it out intact and popped the tip of it into his mouth.

"Mmmm...." He bit into it and pulled it away, the strawberry juice dripping from his lips as he spoke. "Perfect.... so... fucking.... divine..."

You laid back and huffed out. "I can't believe you just did that... oh my god..."

"Did it feel like a cock?" Cillian asked bluntly and with a stupid-cocky grin on his face. "Tell me, Y/N... when you let me put a strawberry in that little cunt of yers... did it feel as good as when I have my dick in ya?" He leaned in and whispered right into your ear as he pressed the open strawberry to your clit and you let out a gasp.

"N-No..." You shook your head and closed your eyes shut. "It didn't... you shouldn't have done that..."

"Tell me how badly you want me inside you..." Cillian was using that voice he knew got to you. That deep and raspy bedroom voice... if he spoke like that to you always... you would commit heinous crimes for him if he told you so. "C'mon... like you said earlier... beg for it... like yer life depends on it..."

You were flustered at the switch in control. You found yourself suddenly helpless to the pleasure that was accumulating within you, a strawberry rubbing your sticky clit in the most perfect rhythm. Cillian was a dirty-minded man when it came to you... and he smirked as he watched you give in to it... you let him get you off with a literal strawberry.

The strawberry juice leaked down your already sopping pussy, making it the perfect treat for Cillian to lean down and make out with your sex and suck up the juice left behind from the fruit. He still feverishly rubbed the half-bitten fruit against your throbbing clit while he licked circles around your hole... where you really needed him.

"Pl-Please... Cillian..." You moaned pathetically, you hated when he made you beg. You let out a bratty huff and rolled your eyes. "Please... I need you..."

"Need me to what?" He smirked as he bit into the strawberry now, one finger inside of you, fingering your g-spot. He was finished with the fruit, mind now fully focused on you as he made you cum all over his fingers, readying you for the stretch of his cock.

"Cillian..." You whined.

"Be a good girl now..."

"Fuck... please... I need you to fuck me... need you to cum in me..." You added that last part with a smirk. You didn't let Cillian cum inside of you always, just to mix it up a little because you knew there was no other feeling out there for him that was like cumming inside of you, it was euphoric for him. You liked playing hard to get. "Please... daddy... put your babies in me?" You reached your hand up and tugged on the chain you had got him for his birthday. And you looked up at him with doe-like eyes that you knew would get him to give in to you and your pleading.

He kissed you instantly and undid his shorts to pull his suffering cock out. It was sensitive and painfully hard and he couldn't wait to bust a load into you. Especially if you were calling him daddy.

"Such a good girl..." He praised as he lined the thick head of his cock up with your pussy. He smeared you with the leaking precum and as he pressed into you, he sighed with pleasure. "I missed being inside you... so much..." Cillian whispered, eyes squeezed shut.

"Please... oh my god..." You arched your back as he stretched you open with his veiny cock. "Daddy...." You cried. "Please... kiss me..."

"Aw... how sweet..." He cooed condescendingly to you as he leaned in and connected your lips but as you opened your mouth he spat right onto your tongue and grabbed ahold of your jaw. "Swallow..." He growled and you did just that and swallowed his spit obediently. "That's right... baby... you belong to me..."

His hips moved and you were deemed speechless as he began fucking you. Your fence only went so high, if someone next door went on their top balcony or even opened their curtains they would see Cillian fucking you like you were in some sort of porno film. You were seeing stars as he rocked his hips in and out of you. It was graceful in the way he moved, like a ballet dancer, every move perfectly choreographed and precise. The tip of his cock was abusing your g-spot repeatedly, to the point you were barely coherent enough to speak. Body limp and mind blank as you were used for all you were good for.

His hands gripped at your hips tightly, rocking you back and forth as he moaned like the slut he was. Cillian was loving every second of this as he thrusted his hips back and forth perfectly spearing you on his cock. You clutched the chair with your left hand and the other left scratch makrs down his poor sunburnt back. But the pain was worth it, the feeling of your warm sticky walls wrapped around him... well... it felt like home. And his eyes rolled into the back of his head as you squeezed around him, he fucked you like an animal, gripping one of your tits in his palm, squeezing it and groaning once more as you clenched around him.

"Daddy.... I'm gonna..." You whined in a high pitch voice, eyebrows knitted together and your tongue hanging heavy on your jaw. "I'm gonna cum... oh my god..." "Cum for me baby, make a mess all over me... please...." He groaned with a sigh as he leaned down and attached his mouth to your other tit, the one he hadn't before. He flexed his hips every time he pressed his cock into you, pressing it deeper in you as he leaked out cum. "I'm gonna cum too..." He huffed, face flushed and sweaty, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Please cum inside me..." You moaned as you threw your head back, your orgasm engulfing you. He did just that, biting your neck as he fucked you full of his seed, balls sticky with a mixture of your arousal and his. "Ooh... feels so good..." "Yeah, baby..." He whimpered and pressed his hot lips to the side of your face, leaving sloppy traces of spit along your cheeks until your lips tangled with his. He made out with you as you rode out your high, your entire body was overflowing with love and the white-hot blinding pleasure. You still felt so full and stretched out on him but then he slowly eased his movements and pulled out, biting his lip. "God..." Cillian gasped, sitting up and looking down at your pussy that now seeped out his cum. "So pretty..."

"Please... hold me..." You pouted, reaching out your heavy arms to have him lie on top of you again. "Need to feel you... daddy..."

Cillian obliged happily, scooping you up in his arms and shifting so you were lying in his lap with your head on his shoulder. He held you and kissed your head. "I love you so much, you know that right?" He whispered into your scalp that he smelled with a smile on his lips.

"I love you more..." You grinned bashfully, running your nose along his collarbone and neck. You just loved the way he smelled. It wasn't his cologne or anything... it was just the way he smelled. You were addicted to it. "That was so good... can't believe we went a whole week without it..."

Cillian snickered and nodded. "Yeah... if you give me a couple of minutes ill be able to go at it again..." He smirked, cheeks rosy as he looked at you fondly.

"God shut up... you sillyhead..." You ruffled his wet hair and kissed the tip of his nose as you two laid there. Eventually you would go inside and he'd sneak himself into your shower where you'd fuck him against the wall while still covered in your strawberry-syrup body wash.

-----

It's summer here and I am dying from the heat and the idea of physically touching anyone right now is so ugh... EW... but Cillian is the only exception of course.

Hope you enjoyed this little fic... I know it's short but I wanted to give you guys something... the third part to Red Eyes and A Pair of New Glasses will be out soon I promise :)...

[dira333]

diraaaa mattsun anon here!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

can i please request something seijoh 4 related for your plot bun game? dealer’s choice. go hog wild. your writing’s gonna be fantastic either way!!

hello mattsun anon! How nice of you to chime in.

This is really hard, because I don't knooooooowwwww....

"Poor Iwa-chan," Oikawa teases, "I bet you'd get a girlfriend too if you tried not looking so scary all the time."

"No no," you disagree, "the girls dig it."

Mattsun snorts. "Which ones? The First-Years just run away all the time when he comes close."

"No, they just run away when they see you," Makki says, kicking your foot with his like he's doing his own version of a low-five.

"Very funny," Iwaizumi drawls, squinting at Oikawa. "And who says I can't get a girlfriend?"

"The fact that you don't have one?"

"At least I'm not just liked for my looks."

"At least I have looks people like me for."

"Guys, guys, you're both pretty," you wave a hand in between them, "but we still need to finish this group project. I'm not letting Tatsumo be first in class this year."

"Just date him," Mattsun drawls out lazily, "isn't he totally in love with you."

You pull a face as Makki snickers. Iwaizumi and Oikawa are still lost in their bickering.

-

"You know I'm a girl, right?" You ask Iwaizumi on the way home, Makki and Mattun walking ahead of you, Oikawa and his girlfriend a few steps behind.

"Yeah, why?" Iwaizumi musters you under furrowed brows.

"Just checking."

-

"There are no more chairs," Kindaichi calls out when you enter, "shall I get some more from the basement?"

"No, that would take too long," Oikawa looks like he's been waiting on all of you for hours when it had just been a few minutes. "You can just sit on the floor."

"No way, I don't want to get a UTI," you scan the room, "anyone letting me sit in their lap?"

"I volunteer Iwaizumi," Mattsun hollers.

"Yeah, strongest thighs in all Seijoh," Makki adds and although the ace blushes slightly, he nods, shoulders squared.

"Sit down," Oikawa orders immediately, "I wanna get started. Why do team meetings always take so damn long?"

"You good?" Iwaizumi asks, his mouth next to your ear.

He sounds completely unaffected. You are going to die.

-

"Would you please become my girlfriend?"

You stare down at the chocolate. Tatsumo went through all the effort of drawing your name on it with colored sugar.

"Sorry, I-" There's a noise that has you look up. Iwaizumi's at the door, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Didn't want to interrupt," he says, turning away. When you reach the door he's already out of sight.

There's no use running after him now, so you turn back, rejection already sitting on your tongue.

-

"So?" Mattsun settles in the seat on your left. "Did you confess to Iwaizumi?"

"What did he say?" Makki asks, leaning in from your right. "He looked constipated today."

"He walked in on Tatsumo confessing to me."

"Oh." Mattsun nods. "Well, maybe now he'll realize you're a girl."

You close your eyes for a moment.

"It doesn't matter," you tell them when you open your eyes again. "I've decided that I'm not staying in Japan anyway."

"You're leaving us?" Mattsun blinks, clearly surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah," you nod, fiddling with your fingers, "I just need... I just need to get away, you know?"

-

Your bags are packed and checked in, your passport sits safely in your purse and you've triple-checked that you're at the right Gate.

Nothing can go wrong now on this adventure, you're sure, even if your heart breaks a little.

But surely, on a different continent, in a different timezone, you'll find yourself. Isn't that how it always works?

Someone gets up from one of the chairs. Behind him, you spot a well-known bag, the color unmistakably Seijoh.

"Iwaizumi? What are you... Are you going to California too?"

[thetriumphantpanda]

Come Away With Me | Joel & Tommy Miller (Monday)

Summary | Day One of your trip to the lake house with Joel and you can't keep your hands off each other. It's all about making up for lost time.

Warnings | Fluff, 2(3?) lovesick fools, mentions of food and alcohol, explicit smut, breeding kink, oral sex (F & M Receiving), unprotected PiV sex (We can't all have a sexy Joel Miller to make us pregnant, please wrap it up), talk of UTI's (Honestly, not worth it, PEE AFTER SEX PLEASE), as always, Tommy kinda getting cucked and Joel just being Joel.

Word Count | 5.1K

Authors Note | The love that this series has received already, without me even posting a chapter has been overwhelming and I am so grateful to you all for being so enthusiastic about this. This little trio means more to me than you can ever imagine and I'm so incredibly happy to be able to bring them back to you. I would love to know what you think about this first instalment, so please leave your comments, reblogs and my ask box is always open if you want to scream about this with me. If you enjoyed this then please consider leaving me a tip on my Ko-Fi here.

SEASON TWO OF TRIAL & ERROR. Read the first instalment here (This probably won't make sense without it.)

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You press a kiss to Joshua’s forehead as he keeps his hands around Tommy’s leg. He’s four now, toddling about, like a perfect little human, and still, whenever you see him, your chest swells with happiness and love in a way you didn’t think would still be possible. 

“You be good for daddy, okay?” You smile, ruffling the hair on top of his head, before bending down to his height, opening your arms for him to fall into as he hugs you, “I’ll be back soon, I promise, and I’ll call every day.” 

A whole week away from your baby boy was daunting. You don’t think you’ve ever spent longer than twenty-four hours without him, but you know he’s in good hands. His dad knows what he’s doing, you’re not worried. 

Tommy has picked Joshua up into his arms, the little boy clutching onto the collar of his shirt as he leans down to lock his lips with yours. You smile into his kiss, letting your hands drop to his waist to pull him a little closer to you. 

“You make sure you give the old man a run for his money, okay?” He smirks when he pulls away, hand running over your hair. 

“He’ll wish he hadn’t come up with idea.” You whisper back, one last chaste kiss to Tommy’s lips and Joshua’s head. 

“You ready?” Joel asks from across the truck, sliding into the driver’s side. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.”  

Joel is nervous. He very rarely feels like this in his older age, especially when it comes to speaking to Tommy. They’ve grown up together, he basically helped raise him, had countless awkward conversations with him, including the one that got him here in the first place, waiting patiently for his birthday so he can steal away his girl and have one night with her all to himself, but he’s still nervous. 

It's the end of summer, Sarah will be leaving for college in the next few days, dead set on becoming a doctor, so Joel’s decided the only way to celebrate his little girl going off and doing what neither he nor his brother could do, and to ease the impending loneliness he’s going to feel at having this big house all to himself, is a cookout. He’s fed everyone, spent time keeping Joshua amused so you and Tommy can eat in peace, and now, a few beers in, he thinks he’s ready. 

He walks down to Tommy, who is cleaning the grill off, listening to the sounds of you and Sarah chasing Joshua around his garden, trying to tire him out. He puts his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and squeezes and they share a smile between them. 

“You alright, brother?” Tommy asks, brushing down the last of the grill. 

“I’m good,” Joel replies simply, “But I have something to ask you, a favour.” 

“Anythin’ for you brother.” He smiles, setting down his cleaning tools and picking up his beer. 

“I know we never discussed it, between us, but what happens between me and her, it makes me happy, y’know?” 

Tommy’s smile gets bigger, and Joel knows that because it’s all his brother has ever wanted for him, to be happy, and he doesn’t think he’s ever been so grateful for the man in front of him. 

“I know second time around it’s takin’ longer than we’d all like,” Joel sighs, you’d all been trying for months for the second baby – people had told you second time around was easier, but whoever decided that was a damn liar, “I just wondered, y’know, ‘cause she’s stressed and all, whether I could take her away?” 

“Take her away?” Tommy asks, eyebrow cocked with his lips on the bottle of beer. 

“Not from you,” Joel stutters, “Just for a week, somewhere quiet, I don’t know, the lake or somethin’, just see if her relaxin’ might help things.” 

“Where were you thinkin’?” Tommy asks. 

“I’ve been lookin’ and there are some nice places up in Colorado,” He rubs the back of his neck, not wanting to admit to his brother that he’s trawled the internet late at night trying to find somewhere he can afford, that in his mind he has it all planned out, “Close enough that we can get back if anything happens with Josh.” 

“I don’t know that she’ll get the time from work, Joel,” Tommy sighs, “It ain’t that I don’t want her to go, I know she’d love the time away, but she’s pressed.” 

Joel turns around and follows Tommy’s eyeline, you’re sitting on the grass with your back against the veranda, watching as Sarah plays with Joshua a little further away. Your head is leant back against the wood and Joel can tell you’re exhausted. A full time job, plus being a mother, whilst Joel’s got Tommy working longer and longer hours so they can finally get their business off the ground properly. 

“When was the last time she was anythin’ but a mother?” Joel asks, turning back to his brother, “Come on brother,” He pleads, “We can give her a break, give her the chance to be just her again,” Then he decides to sweeten the deal, “I’ll even give you the week off work.” 

“You really don’t have to beg me Joel,” Tommy insists with a smile, “If she can get the time off work, then you can have her.” 

You’re three hours into the drive. Joel has insisted he can make it in one go, with a few comfort breaks on the way, despite it being a twelve-hour drive, but you’re not going to argue with him. He’s well and truly in charge this week and you’re more than happy to relinquish control to him. It’s nice, having someone else worry about you, whether you’ve got enough snacks to keep you going, whether you need to stop to use the bathroom, whether you need to close your eyes and take a nap, as opposed to you worrying about doing that for your son. 

Joel is tapping his hands on the steering wheel. Sarah had made him a mixtape before she left, supposedly full of the songs they used to listen to in the car together, though you can’t imagine Joel had allowed much Taylor Swift judging by how fast he was to press skip when the familiar sounds of Teardrops On My Guitar started playing through the truck. He’s just finished singing along to Bon Jovi, a smile on his face as he looks at you. 

“I love your voice,” You smile, running your fingers lightly up the arm that is resting near you, his warm palm on your thigh as he drives, “It’s not too late y’know, to make it big with your guitar.” 

He snorts but with a smile on his face, “I was never any good at bein’ on stage, always got choked up and froze,” He turns his head to you a little, “I’m happy to just save my singin’ for you.” 

The CD he’s got playing skips to the next song and the sounds of Destiny’s Child’s Survivor start filling the car. Joel is already moving to press skip so you grip hold of his wrist. 

“Don’t you dare,” You warn, “This is such a good song.” 

“Sweetheart, come on, you don’t really wanna listen to it.” 

You chuckle at him, “You’ve listened to everything you wanted, just give me this one song.”

“If I’m lettin’ you listen to this,” He growls, “Then you’re gonna owe me.” 

“Is that right?” You play coy, “And what do you deem suitable payment for a single Destiny’s Child song?” 

You watch his face, still trained straight ahead on the highway, but with that smirk that you always love to see from him. It means he’s thinking something filthy and filthy Joel is something you simply cannot get enough of. You watch as his eyes meet yours momentarily and then drop to his lap. If you hadn’t been so focused on his face, you’d have missed it, but your eyes trail down his body where you can already see him growing in his jeans. 

You lean back in your seat, nodding to yourself, “Joel Miller, grown man, wants me to suck his cock whilst he drives, just like a horny teenager.” 

He brings a hand to the back of your neck and squeezes, trying to gently drag you forward, “I’ve waited a fuckin’ year to have you to myself, pretty girl,” He speaks lowly, “Didn’t think I was gonna wait for a bed, did you?” 

You chuckle but move to undo your seatbelt. He keeps his hand resting on the back of your neck, but it’s gentle. He doesn’t pull you towards him, just waits for you to set your own pace. You reach across the console of the truck with your hand, palming him through his jeans, reveling in the way his head tips back and he lets a long sigh fall from his lips. 

“You missed me, huh?” You tease, bringing your fingers up to the button on his jeans, you should have known he had something planned when he turned up without his belt on. 

“You seriously askin’ me if I missed you?” He asks as you pop the button and drag his zipper down slowly. 

You lean over, lips pressing a chaste kiss to the scruff on his jaw, “Boost my ego, Joel Miller,” You whisper into his ear as your hand sneaks underneath the waistband of his underwear, “Tell me how much you missed me.” 

He lifts his hips for you a little so you can shuck his jeans down just enough to pull his cock out. You lean over, Joel’s wide palm still resting at the nape of your neck as you fist him, running your hand up and down his length. If you were a stronger woman you’d tease him, but you’re as desperate for him as he is for you, so you bring your mouth right to him, swirling your tongue over his tip, lapping up the drops of pre-cum that are waiting for you. 

Your wrap your lips around him and swallow him down as far as you can take him without him hitting the back of your throat, using your hand to pump the length your mouth doesn’t reach, swirling your tongue around him as you pull your mouth back up. 

“God fuckin’ damn, babygirl,” Joel groans above you, hand tangling in your hair as you continue to bob your head up and down on him, “You’ve done this before.” 

It strikes you in this moment that in the four or so years you and Joel have been together like this, he’s never once let you put your mouth on him like this. Before Joshua, he had always been hyper focused on your pleasure, whether you felt good, and in the years since, in those few short hours you had together, he’d never once asked for it, had stopped you when you tried, he’d only ever come for you when he was fucking you. 

You sneak your hand lower, cupping his heavy balls in the palm of your hand as you take him further down your throat. The added sensation of your hand has him bucking his hips up into your mouth enough that you have to pull away from him, coughing and spluttering. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He worries, taking his hand from your head, “Are you okay?” 

“Focus on the road, Miller,” You demand, moving to get right back down to business, “If I choke to death on your cock that’s my business.” 

“Kinda hard to focus on the road when I’m seconds away from filling your mouth, pretty girl.” You can hear the strain in his voice as you start working his cock again, pulling off only long enough to reply. 

“That’s what I want,” You whisper, “You gonna come down my throat Joel?” 

“That what you want?” He grunts from above you. 

“Wanna taste you.” 

“Well pretty girl, you just keep goin’ and I’ll give you what you want.” 

He stays true to his word, and after a few short minutes, he’s gripping a fistful of your hair, breathing your name out, as his cum spreads across your tongue. Salty, masculine, musky, but distinctly Joel, and you think from this moment on you might be hooked on the taste of him. 

You pull back up, sitting back in your seat, Joel turning his head to watch you as you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out just enough to show him what he’s given you. Then, you close your mouth and swallow every last drop, wiping the small amount that had gathered in the corner of your lips back into your mouth.

“Jesus,” Joel breathes, “You’re somethin’ else, baby.” 

It’s late evening by the time you and Joel arrive at the lake house. It’s dark so you can’t properly take in your surroundings, but it’s peaceful and quiet, and when you step out of the truck, it smells different. The smell of pine and fresh water fills your senses and it’s at this moment you realise you really needed this – a break away from the suburbs and the city you’re so used to. 

You make a simple dinner of chicken and roasted vegetables, washed down with lukewarm beer that hadn’t had a chance to properly chill. Joel insists on doing the dishes, silently cursing he didn’t pick a cabin with a dishwasher. The more time he has to spend washing up, the less time he can spend buried deep inside you, which is what he wants most right now. He’s hungrier for you than he’s ever been, you having refused his offer to pull off the highway so he could return the favour earlier. 

You’ve taken two fresh beers from the fridge outside with you. He can see you sitting on the small swing seat on the porch, taking small sips of your drink as you wait for him. You’re on the phone to Tommy, letting him know you arrived safely and then he can hear your voice change as you speak to Joshua – more high-pitched than normal. The conversation doesn’t last long, Tommy clearly needing to put Joshua down to sleep, so you’re hanging up the phone in no time. He notices you shiver through the window, so he digs out one of his flannels from his bag that hasn’t made it to the bedroom and takes it out with him, draping it across your shoulders. He takes a seat next to you, his thigh touching yours, as you hand him his beer. 

“I bet this view will be beautiful tomorrow.” You muse, taking another sip of your drink. 

“I don’t know,” He speaks back softly, looking at you, “It’s pretty perfect to me already.” 

You can feel your face grow hot at the compliment, but you smile. Joel drapes his arm across the back of the bench, and you automatically shuffle in closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder as his hand trails up and down your arm. 

“So, how have you really been in that house without Sarah these past few weeks?” You ask, hand coming to rest on his thigh. 

“It’s been strange,” He answers honestly, “But I’m so proud of her, my little girl training to be a doctor.” 

Your heart swells because you’re pretty fucking proud of her as well. She’d worked so hard to get into medical school the past few years, finally settling on what it was that she wanted to do, and you have no doubt that she’s going to find some incredible medical breakthrough during her career. 

“Still don’t know where she got her brains from,” He grumbles, “Sure as hell ain’t from the side me and Tommy got ours.” 

You swat your hand to his thigh, “What have I told you about being kind to yourself?” You chastise, earning a low laugh from him, “Don’t sell yourself short, you started your own business Joel, not everyone can do that.” 

He nods, but you think it’s more to placate you than understanding his worth, but you decide to let it lie, “You know, she’s not far from here,” You offer, “If you wanted, you could go and see her.” 

“I’d like that,” He smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I’ll call her tomorrow, gonna have to think of a white lie as to why I’m all the way out here though.” 

“I’m sure if we put our heads together, we can think of something.” 

It’s silent for a while between you. Listening to the wind rustle the leaves on the trees is soothing. Pair that with Joel’s gentle tracing up and down your arm, and the way he’s slowly rocking the swing with his foot on the ground, and you’re almost ready to fall asleep. 

“Hey Joel,” You whisper, leaning your head up towards him, he answers with a hum of acknowledgement, “You wanna take me to bed?” 

He leans down, pressing his lips softly to your own, “I thought you’d never ask.” 

You stand, extending your hand to his, which he takes, letting you lead him back inside. Because he’s used to it, the routine of checking the locks at home, he makes sure he double checks all the doors are locked before letting you take hold of his hand again and lead him down the small hallway, into the master bedroom at the end. 

The bed is huge, white sheets resting on top, with plump pillows at the end. If it wasn’t for Joel’s hands on your hips and his lips on your neck, you’d be focused on falling into it and going straight to sleep. He’s walking you forward, trailing wet kisses down the expanse of your neck, then he turns you once your knees hit the foot of the bed. 

He brings his palms to your face, cradling it in his hands as he leans down, pressing those soft, plush lips to your own. You bring your arms to wrap around his shoulders, pressing yourself up on your tiptoes as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling your body flush to his broad frame as he opens his mouth, tongue licking into your own mouth as he deepens your kiss. It’s the first time he’s kissed you since last year, both of you having some form of silent agreement with each other that Tommy doesn’t need to see that. He see’s everything else you do when you’re together, when he’s watching his brother fill you up, this here, when Joel kisses the very breath from your lungs, this is just for the two of you. 

With his mouth still latched to yours, he uses his hands to push his flannel from your shoulders, before he reaches down and tugs your own shirt from where it was tucked into your jeans. He takes his time, unbuttoning it one notch at a time, until that too is pushed from your shoulders. You don’t even realise he’s undone the button on your jeans until he’s pushing them down your hips – too focused on the way his mouth tastes. 

“Sit down, pretty girl,” He whispers, dropping to his knees, “Been drivin’ me wild all day,” His hands trail up your legs, parting them in front of his face when you perch on the edge of the bed, “Thinkin’ about you all wet down here, after you sucked my cock.” 

He runs his thumb over the front of your panties, tracing the seam of your pussy, which has indeed been completely soaked for him since you sucked him off. He presses his mouth, wet and hot, against the delicate skin of your thigh as you let your head drop back and a sigh to escape your mouth. His mouth comes to rest between the crook of your thigh, where the seam of your underwear is, and you think he might just pull them to the side and give you what you want, but instead, he starts a trail of kisses from the opposite knee, moving slowly up your other thigh until you’re squirming for him. 

“Don’t tease me,” You beg, running a hand through the curls on his head, “Make me feel good, Joel.” 

“This what you want, pretty girl?” He asks, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, dragging them off you when you lift yourself off the bed a little, “Want my mouth here?” 

His thumb runs up the seam of your pussy, the friction without the barrier of your panties delicious now. You spread your legs for him, heels resting on the bottom of the bed, baring your spread, aching cunt for him. His palms are resting on the inner part of your thighs now as he leans in, lips pressing a single chaste kiss to your clit. 

“Fuck,” You breathe out, chasing the feel of his lips as he pulls away, you almost whine until you feel him push one of his delightfully thick fingers straight into your weeping pussy, “Fuck Joel, holy shit.” 

He’s grinning up at you like the devil when you look down, pulling his finger out all the way before slipping it into his mouth to clean it off, “You been this wet all day?” He asks, thumb moving to gather the slick at your entrance to drag to your clit, moving in featherlight movements. 

“Y-yes,” You manage to choke out, “This is what you do to me.” 

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he puts his face right back where you want it, tongue licking a firm, wide strip from your weeping hole and up to your clit, using the tip of his tongue to place precise flicks on your swollen bundle of nerves. He’s so fucking good with his mouth it actually hurts. He’s managed to learn exactly how you like it, what combination of moves with his mouth and the addition of his fingers bring you over the edge the fastest and that’s exactly what he’s doing right now. He slips two of his fingers back inside you, curling them straight up into that spot within you that makes you cry, lips sucking your clit into his mouth whilst his tongue still moves perfectly across you. 

“God fucking damn it, Joel,” You cry, fingers tugging at his hair as you push your pussy closer to his face, “Gonna make me come.” 

He doesn’t bother to pull his mouth away from you to tell you it’s okay like he usually does, just continues the movements just as they are until your crying his name out, the rope that was pulled taught inside you snapping as your pussy clenches around Joel’s fingers and you come so hard your vision blacks out for a moment.

You collapse down onto the bed, arms no longer able to hold you up as Joel takes his mouth from your clit, gently pulling his fingers from you. Without needing to be asked, you scoot up the bed, letting air fill your lungs. Your eyes are trained on Joel as he starts to undress in front of you, smirking at you when he drags his shirt over his head. 

“You should charge people for this,” You mumble, “Sure a lot of ladies would pay good money to watch you strip.” 

“Like this?” He chuckles, slowly undoing the button of his jeans, dragging the zipper down painfully slow as you start humming, encouraging him to really put on a show, “Zip it.” He laughs, pushing his jeans down his legs, his cock hard and pressing against the thin material of his boxers. 

He shucks them off his body as well and you watch, captivated as he fists his cock, he is, next to his brother, one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Joel Miller,” You breathe out as he clambers onto the bed, pulling you up slightly so he can take your bra off, “Do you know that?” 

His mouth is pressing kisses between your breasts, letting his teeth nibble small marks across your chest before he takes one of your nipples in his mouth. You can feel his cock pressing between your folds, running up and down your pussy as he settles properly between your thighs. You run your hand through his hair as he trails his lips up to your face, peppering your jaw with kisses. 

“Can’t say I’ve been told much,” He whispers into your ear, “But I’ll take it.” 

You can feel him reach between you, base of his cock in his hand as he brings the tip to your slick cunt. He thrusts forward just a touch, giving you the tip, lips settling onto your own so he can swallow the small moans you let out as he inches deeper and deeper into you until he bottoms out. You shift your hips underneath him, legs hitching around his waist. 

“Baby please,” He pleads, “You gotta give me a second,” His head dropping to the crook of your neck, “Fuck, how does it always feel like I’m fucking you for the first time?” 

You want to give him all the time in the world but you’re just as bad as he is. He needs to move, and he needs to move now otherwise you think you might actually die. 

“Please Joel,” You moan, rolling your hips up into his, hand still firmly tangled in the curls at the back of his neck, “You need to move.” 

“I ain’t gonna last, babygirl.” He groans as he pulls himself out and slams back into you. 

“Don’t care,” You moan as his lips attach themselves to your throat, “Just need to feel you.” 

He moves, placing his hands on either side of your head, pushing himself up, as he drags his cock from your tight heat and starts thrusting properly. You’ve had this man more times than you can count, two or three times a month for the past six months whilst you try for your second baby, but the way he feels inside of you never fails to set your body on fire. 

He’s always so big, and you feel so fucking full of him. You close your eyes and tilt your head back further into the mattress as he drives himself deeper into you, head of his cock brushing against your cervix. It’s pain and pleasure, it’s too much and not enough all at the same time. He makes you stupid when he fucks you like this. Focused on one thing, and one thing only. 

One of his hands clutches your chin, his voice hoarse with pleasure, “Look at me,” He demands, “Give me those beautiful eyes when I fuck you.” 

You do as you’re told, eyes opening and staring into his own chocolate orbs that are dark with lust. God, you love him. You know you shouldn’t love him this much, it’s dangerous, but he’s so fucking good to you, you can’t help yourself. 

“Good girl,” He praises, making your pussy clench around him, “Doin’ what you’re told, you’re so good for me, aren’t you?” 

“So good Joel,” You moan, fingers gripping the meat of his biceps as you hold onto him, hips rolling up to meet his with every thrust, “Want you to come for me.” 

“Yeah, want me to fill you up, pretty girl?” 

“Yes Joel!” You cry, “Fill me up baby, please.” 

His hips start to falter from their precise thrusts of before, he’s so fucking close, you can see it on his face, hear it in his growls. He dips his head back to the crook of your neck, teeth nipping along your collarbones as he pounds into you. He lets out one long moan of your name as he stills inside you, and you can feel the familiar warmth of his cum filling you up. He brings one of his hands down to cup your ass, lifting you up a little, as if he thinks the angle of your pelvis makes much of a difference when it comes to getting you pregnant. 

He groans into your neck as he slips out of you, letting your hips finally drop to the bed as he rolls off you, collapsing in a heap beside you as he catches his breath. You lean over, kiss pressed to his cheek with a mumble that you’ll be back in a minute once you’ve cleaned up, the pain of last month’s UTI still fresh in your mind after you fell asleep without going to the bathroom. 

When you return, two glasses of water in hand, he’s already pulled back the sheets and has settled himself back against the pillows. You hand him his glass, setting yours on the nightstand as you climb into bed, settling your aching bones against your own pillow when you realise this is uncharted territory with you and Joel. When you spend your one night with him, neither of you sleep – you spend as much time as you can connected, making each other feel good, and when he’s with you outside of that, with Tommy watching, or joining in, whichever he feels like doing that night, he’s always gone in a flash. You’ve never settled down to sleep next to him, you don’t know if he snores, you don’t know if he wants you to cuddle into his side and drift off to sleep together. 

“Stop thinkin’,” He sighs, “And c’mere.” 

You smile, crawling over the space between you as he moves his body down to lie flat on his back. You drape one of your arms over his tummy as his wraps around your shoulder, the other resting on your arm wrapped around him. You bring your leg up to wrap between his and let out a sigh. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve always wanted this,” He whispers quietly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Somethin’ so simple as fallin’ asleep with you.” 

You hum against his warm skin, letting the thumb that’s resting on his tummy start rubbing small circles on his skin, “It’s nice,” You speak, punctuating it with a yawn, “Hope you don’t snore though.” 

His chest rising with a chuckle as he pulls you tighter to his body, “Go to sleep, babygirl,” He speaks quietly, “I’m gonna wear you out tomorrow.” 

You don’t know whether he’s referring to the hike he wanted to take you on through the mountains, or the fact that you both know what you’re really here for. Is he going to keep you right here on this mattress all day, filling you up until you can’t take it anymore? Either way, being here with Joel has already been the ointment you needed for your stress. Your shoulders are more relaxed, and you don’t have the headache you usually do at the end of the day from gritting your teeth. Whatever he’s got planned, you’re going to take it, and for now, you’re going to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach that this time, though longer than you ever get, is still fleeting. You can worry about that another day. 

Taglist: @morning-star-joy @sinsofsummers @dinsdjrn @cavillscurls @cupofjoel @tightjeansjavi @kaitangatatacos @paleidiot

[retiredficwriter]

stumbled on this post about crazy ex-girlfriend songs applied to thg. as someone equally obsessed with cxg, va/bloodlines and just va/bloodlines in a musical setting, YOU KNOW i had to mix both.

but me being me, i went an extra mile and decided to tell (an exaggerated version) the plot of series through the songs.

vampire academy

i'm in a sexy french depression - lissa

feeling kinda naughty - rose

woman gotta stick together - mia

what u missed while u were popular - christian

let's have intercourse - dimitri

frostbite

a boy band made up of four joshes - christian

where's the bathroom? - janine

greg's drinking song - adrian

getting bi - adrian

maybe she's not such a heinous bitch after all - rose

you're my best friend (and i know i'm not yours) - mason

shadow kiss

i'm a good person - rose

what it'll be? - adrian

this session is going to be different - rose's therapist

i gave you an uti - dimitri

back in action - rose and christian

after everything i've done for you (that you didn't ask for) - rose

blood promise

i'm just a girl in love - rose

i’ve got my head in the clouds - sydney

i give good parent - rose and the belikov family

you go first - lissa and rose

real life fighting is awkward - rose and dimitri

settle for me - adrian

i love my daughter (but not in a creepy way) - abe

spirit bound

friendtopia - rose, lissa and eddie

slow motion - rose, lissa, eddie and adrian

the group mind has decided you're in love - rose, adrian, eddie, mia

hello, nice to meet you - rose and dimitri

don't be a lawyer - abe

you stupid bitch - rose

last sacrifice

this is my movement - lissa

trapped in a car with someone you don't want to be trapped in a car with - rose, dimitri, sonya, victor, robert and sydney

i want to be a child star - jill

we should definitely not have sex right now - rose and dimitri

nothing is ever anyone's fault - rose and dimitri

scary scary sexy lady - tasha

after everything you've made me do (that you didn't ask for) - adrian

the end of the movie - josh groban (c'mon... who else was going to sing this?)

be on the lookout for the bloodlines version!

[fallingforel]

Promptmas day 5- Matty Healy- naughty v.s Nice

this prompt in the series is one of the hardest to write for, that being said its a very whiplash piece, with smut and then fluff- like hardcore fluff. Anyway on with the show MNDI 18+ (also please pee after sex!! we dont want any nasty UTI's) All prompts have come from abiiors christmas prompt list the original post can be found here

words: 797

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⋆｡°✩

"You look so beautiful with your legs over my shoulders" Matty says voice muffled with how far he was in my pussy, tongue divulging into my hole before licking a stripe up to my clit sucking it flicking it while his fingers worked my hole. It didn't take long before thick white stripes were hitting Matty's face and my breaths were few and far between while I saw stars. He waited for me to get my breath back before he dived towards to my face, "lick" He says to me pointing to his face where the white liquid lay before I start slow and sensually licking my hot insides off his face. "Messy girl you are." He says "Yes, sir" I say before hes kissing me again with need.

I drag my nails across his back and down towards his jeans and boxers he swats my hand away. "AH AH AH. Wait princess, got to do something first. Can you do that for me?" I nod. his hands go around my throat, "Words princess. I won't ask you again. Can you do that for me?" "Yes, sir" "Good girl, I knew you had it in you" he says before he starts kissing my neck biting it sucking it, making a hickey.

"Now" he demands I start taking his belt off, then undoing the button and the zip sliding it slowly down his legs before they dropped to the floor I then kissed up his leg, moving up towards just above where his boxers lay before hooking my fingers around the elastic and pulling them down making his dick spring up.

placing open mouthed kisses from his belly button, on his we are kings tattoo then kissing across to the one on his ribs before kissing up to his true love Annie tattoo, then up to his neck then to his chin before reaching his lips. Both putting need into the kiss while straddling Matty's dick sliding my self on to it.

rolling my hips before bouncing however Matty soon flipped us round so that he was on top slamming his dick into me frantically trying to find the g spot moving my legs in all sort of ways before his fingers moved their way to my clit grazing it at first flicking it nudging it and rubbing it making me get to my high before my G spot could "Matty 'm gonna" "me too baby, let go at the same time" He whines out throwing his head into my neck before we both release at the same time. and he goes to slide out before I say "No." "No? You usually get off right away? Is everything okay baby?" "Just want to stay like this, with you inside of me for a while." "Okay. We can do that. anything for my girl. wanna lay on my chest?" He says hand rubbing across my face the cold of his wedding band shocking me. I nod "Okay darling." He flips us so that I'm on top laying on his chest.

⋆｡°✩

His hands instantly find my hair running one of his hands through them, massaging my scalp and placing kisses on my forehead we stay like that in silence for a while before he says "Gonna have to get you and these sheets cleaned up sometime baby, you need to go for a wee aswell. Don't forget our families are coming Tommorow" "Don't remind me, I haven't wrapped up their presents, or prepped for tomorrow's breakfast." "Is there anything I can do Sweetheart, I'll help you do the presents" "Yes please, Can you help me clean up I don't know If I can walk on my own." "Yes of course darling." he says.

He grips his hands on my thighs before moving the covers back and standing up with my legs round his waist, moving towards the bathroom. Placing me on the toilet and letting me go for a wee, while he turns the shower on and goes to grab the towels holding them while I finish on the toilet wash my hands and then jump in the shower before he puts the towels on the toilet and jumps in the shower along with me wrapping his arms around my waist from behind burying his head in my neck "You're so beautiful darling." "Thank you pretty husband" "Love you Mrs Healy" "I forget that's my name. Almost a year since we got married now New years day, I love being married to you." "I love being married to you too. You make life so much better when I'm with you" "Stop trying to get on Mr claus' nice list, your already on the naughty list from what we did earlier" "I'm always on the nice list darling" he says.

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end.

[retropobor]

Screw it, I'm an art blog now, have some more art (UTY pacifist Route Spoilers for part of it, also there's a lot of text you have to read in order to have this thing make sense)

This is my most recent work, made just last night. It's not perfect, but I'm proud of how it turned out, Although I feel as though pretty much everything needs an explanation here, especially if you feel like you recognize someone here.

For those of you who don't know (AKA pretty much every one of you other than maybe @yaboi88900) I run a DnD campaign. A very very poorly balanced DnD campaign. With a mix of heavy amounts of homebrew, and an inability to get anything playtested, I have my fair share of monsters who have almost resulted in a TPK, so I decided to put them all in an artwork to memorialize them.

Left and right: Blood elementals

A while back I was watching a a dungeon dad video about a creature known a blood elemental, and I thought they were cool, so I added a combat encounter against them. I was expecting quite a few people, so I thought 1 per person in the 4 person party worked out, and made a combat encounter against 4 of them... 2 people showed up, and as it turns out a CR 5 Blood elemental is actually pretty dangerous against a level 5 player, so even after killing 2 off, it was still a brutal combat session. There wasn't much else to say about it though. In my opinion, it was rather forgettable.

Middle (Bottom): The Cabinet Man

Ironically the blood elementals weren't the worst encounter of the storyline. Again 2 people showed up for the session, because during this time, we were struggling on player count. Basically everything after the blood elementals was this whole Lemon Demon based plotline with the BBEG being the main character from No Eyed Girl/When He Died, and the quest giver being the main character from Touch Tone Telephone (I can go more in depth in another post if y'all want to know more about it). As you are probably beginning to realize that fine figure in the center is based on Cabinet Man. He's one of if not the first stat block I ever made, which means he's not balanced in the slightest. I'll save the details of what this Cabinet Man can do for a different post because there's a lot on him, but for now know that he's never met a foe he couldn't kill before his second phase. Also he gave my players a crippling fear of arcade cabinets.

Background: The Demon Core Golem

I never actually ran this one because it's too late game for any campaign I've ever ran, but even without running it, just about everyone who's seen the stats has an innate fear for this thing and for good reason, because this thing is strong. It only has a few attacks, but all of them deal a lot of damage, and as expected for something named after the demon core, this thing is highly radioactive, meaning it deals massive amounts of unblockable poison damage if you get near it, and it can give out radiation sickness (CDC accurate radiation sickness at that). Survive all of that, and it does the job its father could only dream of, and becomes a literal nuclear bomb, at which point pretty much all you can do is run. Yes it is as powerful as it sounds. No I don't know what I was thinking when I made this.

Middle (Top): Ceroba Ketsukane, Defiler of Pacifism

This one's the most recent of the lethal encounters, having the related plotline finished tuesday. So Undertale Yellow came out, and I absolutely loved it (if you couldn't tell already), so I decided to adapt bits of the game into a plotline in the campaign (albeit with some lore and plot edits to fit the world, and because total plagiarism just ain't my style). Well if you know anything about the pacifist route, the final boss is Ceroba who dons a mask and becomes incredibly powerful* The party was sweeping through Ceroba's first second phases, and most of the third phase with ease, so I decided to quit sugar coating it for the second half of the third phase. When I was making the stat block for Ceroba I gave her an aoe attack, and perfect for her, all the players were grouped together in one place, so I decided to use that AOE attack, and in one round, I accidentally reduced the entire party other than the sorcerer in the backlines to hit point levels ranging from death saving throws to 4 at the best. Safe to say I re sugar coated it after that. And for anyone wondering, Ceroba was spared, and is now safe and sound in Ketsukane mansion, and she may or may not become a quest giver for some more side quests, Idk yet.

[ohsoulymoons]

Confession 0.2

Duncan... being stinky makes sense

Duncan of my version :P

He can't help it , running around everywhere also basically biased on past boyfriends and I be like yummy then gag later on after while 4 days with them.

Sometimes stinky sweat makes my brain want tear you apart and pull out a wedding ring then drag to the church say vows

Musty fog really can be factor to no thoughts just stupid actions

That's why I'm like THAT MAN STINKS AND COURTNEY WOULD RATHER DIED THAN TELLING YOU SHE LOVES HIS MUSTY SWEATY FORM, BLACK ICE AXE SPRAY, AND APOLLO ALUMINUM-FREE DEODORANT FORMULA STICK

A clean Duncan smells like forest pine cones, hints of smoking with fire, red polo cologne known as Polo Red Eau de Toilette, and Axe Phoenix deodorant and vodka with tequila shots somehow

HE SHOWERS BUT AT WHAT CIST EVERYONE SAYS HE DOESN'T!!!

I don't usually sweat everyone gets mad at me after intense workout or 4 hours of labor then I lay down or rest I am sweating like a pig and I'm like ah don't look at me like leaking all the sweat out like nothing

Yes I memorized scents of past lovers, I even memorized their eyes, the way they fell asleep and what they fear most and how wale them up safely from nightmares, and made a mental list of their favorite products to buy them to replace them before they ran out before they notice it.

I used be super hyper focused on being too feminine to scare the gay thoughts away or the mean comments on my body like my version Courtney the need to look perfect always

But

Now I'm mixture of them both lol. I use axe myself lol scares off some they mean men away and I get cute girls to look at me sometimes ❤️ it doesn't help I dress up like them lol homies now out in public with red converse on top.

I hide my hair under my in my black champion snapback and black oversized hoodie usually too with my face mask on sometimes can be confusing experience to people who see me out in the open

Like Courtney will freak out if she thinks she stinky

Based on my personal experience in University I used to have a long routine of 5 days to get ready to even consider going on a date with someone everyday I would brush my teeth three times , twice daily flossing them! A night when I wasn't spending the time with some random guy or person I would have my retainer in at 8:00 with a facial typing away and fixing my papers before they were due in 2 weeks listening to my roommate or letting her explain her essay on the legal system. And as a psychology major and her as the law major or pre-law we actually helped you each other a lot and made sure to find the right etiquette or whatever she needed to make sure she won her fake cases or got the highest grade she could. By university I was c student and burn out hah no more A's and high caliber of life and learn how to calm down and also I realize I wasn't God's gift to man but I could use my ability to copy everyone's energy to use this God complex against others that annoy me often.

Basically: Courtney

5:00am Awake

5:30 am Yoga and pray/fight God again

6:00 to 8:30 am at the gym deadlifting with her best gal

9 long ass shower ritual, goat milk soap bar from Australia, rice water Shampoo and conditioner bar like from kitsch, body scrub lavender of course, then outside of shower routine eye cream for sensitive skin and to lessen dark circles, rose oil like Instituto Espanol Rosa Body Oil then drying herself up putting on Tree Hut’s Vanilla Whipped Body Butter to finally spray once her old rarely used Justin Bieber Someday Eau De Parfum the two sprays of Bath & Body Works A Thousand Wishes Fine Fragrance Mist, shaving/plucking/waxing/ new or fix nails on Thursday to Saturdays, she shaped heart somewhere with purple jewelry of a C

Shower early

Bath rarely afraid of uti her mother told that at a young age she afraid of finding out

Her other rituals usually at night. She carries emergency bags in her thick ass backpack 4 chapsticks 2 unopened different vanilla to mango to cotton candy to pumpkin spice, sewing kit, a mini first aid, 6 water bottles somehow, her lunch, her laptop, spare clothes just incase, and everything else she needs for the day!

[cordeliawhohung]

Dude shy! Reader and Mafia! Underboss! Simon is giving me major brain rot right now.

I saw you slip in at the end of one of your drabbles about possibly making reader a virgin and I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I can just see his brain absolutely short circuiting so fast when he finds that out. He’d be soooo prideful and comforting to reader if/when she finally lets him take her virginity.

I truly believe that this man has the best aftercare as well. You would have a whole ass spa day after he’s done fucking you.

i love seeing everyone's opinions on this so much ;alksdjf

i'm thinking shy!reader being a virgin fits super well because in my mind she def has the urge to want to be with someone ya know? but she's just too goddamn awkward and overthinking it and maybe a little self conscious that she just never really has the opportunity to?? and i agree with you 100% about simon fucking short circuiting lmao. like just imagine he's trying to initiate something and it gets a little heated and he feels you start to tense up and asks if everything is okay and you have to pitifully admit that you've never really done anything past kissing ):

i think he fixates on it more than he should, too. like he would never tease you or anything but it's certainly on his mind for WEEKS and he's trying to concoct the perfect scenario of what would be best for you and how to make things perfect because you're his girl and you only get the best but maybe it also fuels his ego a little bit cuz he's still kind of a prick lmao

also, for your first time he doesn't let you do ANYTHING. you've seen the vids, and you have it in your head that you're supposed to be performing the whole time but no! he basically forces you to be a pillow princess. might not even initiate p in v sex the first time you get intimate either, he's just totally content fucking his fingers into you and watching the pleasure contort on your face while you're moaning for him ):

and of course the aftercare is god tier!!! he knows he's a big guy and he can get a little rough and into it and so he's making sure you're hydrated, telling you to use the bathroom so you don't get a uti, and just fucking dotes on you the rest of the day/night. like he will rarely let you leave his sight or his arms because honestly you've got him wrapped around your finger <3

god like imagine aftercare in the shower with him??? just washing you up? the tattoos??? you guys need to fucking sedate me actually

[whats-wild-to-you]

hi, idk if ur accepting requests now so i’ll try my luck :) can u do a story where jay approaches the girl becos of a bet from his friends but he ends up simping for her but plot twist haha the girl finds out and gets really mad, preferably fluffy ending but uty, thank u :)

I had so much fun writing this ☺️

----------------------------------------------------------

I was having lunch with Loco and Wonjae at Famous Burger when she walked in and from then on, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Go ask for her number!" Loco suggested, winking at Wonjae. Everyone knew I was shy when it was me who had to go up to a girl. Usually, girls recognized me and came up to me first. But not this time. This girl had barely looked at us, despite our table being the only occupied one. Lots of people came in to get their orders, just like her. And while everyone else's orders had been made quickly, she was already standing there for 15 minutes, impatiently checking the time over and over.

"She hasn't even looked at Jaebum hyung once, I bet he'll never get her number!" Wonjae replied smugly, looking at me instead of Loco.

"I disagree! He is naturally charming." Loco countered.

"It's on!" Wonjae and Loco shook hands, looking expectantly at me.

"I'm not participating in this!" I said as I made my way towards her.

"Hi!"

"Hey." She replied rather unenthusiastically.

"Are you waiting for your order?" I asked, mentally facepalming myself. What else would she be doing?

She simply nodded, avoiding my stare. In the distance I heard Loco and Wonjae snorting.

"Maybe I can help." I offered with a wide grin as I went behind the counter and into the kitchen. I came back a couple minutes later with her order. Even if she was impressed, she hid it well.

"Thank you." She said hastily, walking out the place.

"Hey wait! What's your name?"

"Sorry, I'm late!" She replied, not even looking back.

"Now, that's a weird name." I yelled after her, and to my surprise she turned around displaying a bright smile as she disappeared in the crowd.

"I'm not a psychic but I think Jaebum hyung will have burgers for lunch every day from now on!"

As if, I had already thought about it, but my busy schedule wouldn't allow it. Still, that week I went back to Famous Burger five times, and never saw her once.

A week later my luck changed when my manager stopped there late at night after a schedule.

I walked right in, and right into her.

"Are you stalking me?" She asked. Before I could defend myself, she went on. "I work nearby and pass by this place often, I saw you camping outside almost every day!"

"Guilty! I just couldn't get you out of my mind. You still owe me your name!"

"Mina."

Since Mina was there by herself, I asked her to sit with me and made my manager buy his burger to go and eat it in the car. We talked for an hour before we parted ways but promised to meet for coffee soon.

After that coffee date we saw each other daily. If she knew who I was she never revealed it, never asked about my work either while I practically interrogated her until she told me where exactly she was working. Lots of times I would pick her up at work and spend the evening with her. That was if I didn't have any schedules.

"Can we go somewhere on the weekend?" She had asked once, and I had a hard time convincing her that I couldn't without telling her the reason why.

Eventually we started dating and I formally introduced her to all my friends at AOMG and the label I had recently founded, H1GHR. In addition, she became good friends with Loco and Wonjae.

Everyone agreed, I was whipped for her, and loved to tease me occasionally. Whenever we were out with the boys they would cheer and whistle at my every action.

"What's with them?" Mina would then ask. "Oh, they're just happy for me. You're the first proper girlfriend I've had in a while!"

~

One night, when the boys were all going for samgyeopsal, Jaebum and I joined in later. At one point Jaebum's phone was ringing non-stop, he excused himself, and stepped out to answer it. Loco and Wonjae, who at that point were drunk, started babbling how great I was and how awesome it was that Jaebum had me, since it all sort of happened because of the bet.

“Excuse me?” Angrily, I got up and went outside where Jaebum was still talking on the phone. I stood to the side, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently, wating for him to hang up.

"What's wrong, babe?" He said in a concerned tone, but he couldn't fool me.

"Oh, I don't know! How's that bet coming along?"

"Bet?"

"You know, the one you made with Loco and Wonjae, that day you approached me!"

"No, that was-" He began, but I didn't stay to listen to the rest. I stormed off, hailing a taxi that would take me home.

Soon after, Jaebum came knocking at my door, pleading me to just listen to him, mumbling something that I couldn't understand due to the massive door separating us.

Eventually I opened the door, letting him in.

"It wasn't like that, I swear! I didn't even participate in the bet. They talked amongst themselves about how I probably couldn't get your number. I just wanted to help you get your food because I saw you were stressed."

"So you didn't help me because you wanted to get to know me?"

"I wanted to get to know you because I was fascinated by you! Not because of some stupid bet!"

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes! And if you want you can call Loco and Wonjae. They'll confirm it!"

"I will. Tomorrow!"

"Can I stay here tonight then?" He asked, back-hugging me.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

He shook his head lazily. "I'm tired, I just want to sleep!" He said while sinking into the couch.

I chuckled, walking over to him, holding out my hand. "If you want to sleep, you can sleep in the bed!"

He smiled, his eyes closed, while he grabbed my hand and got up off the couch.

"Are you still mad at me?" He whispered in my ear when we laid in bed together.

"I was never mad, just disappointed."

"My feelings for you are real, Mina! I hope you'll never doubt that!" Were his last words before he dozed off.

[hersheythecure]

.

This man was really working overtime. Finding out how much he's done to me is hard af. I didn't know someone could place thoughts in your mind. Wow. I'm just like shocked. Feels like my memories are false. Fuckkk.

He has been hurting me when I'm dissociated and high. He has weapons zed my system against me. They feel terrible.

It was any of your faults. He's had so much practice before you. You still did your best. He made you think he was protecting you but he was not. He was tugging you around like a toy. All of you.

The implications. He never loved you. He never cared about you. There is no good inside if him. Do you see. Someone who rapes you in your sleep. Someone who beats you in your sleep.

How to did I survive that shit. He was making me have chronic pain. He was hitting me so I couldn't walk. He was drugging me and raping me and giving me utis. He's been putting me in the hospital. All of my falls he's bee. Setting them up. He's been trying to kill me for years. Fickkk.

But you survived. You didn't go down. You're one strong ass motherfucker I give it to you. He's going to pay. I promise you. Prison is the least of his worries. The absolute least. I dare him to come for me. I dare you. You hate yourself so much. I can see it. You hate who you are. You hate what you like. You just hate yourself. And I don't. I love myself. I do. Very much so. That's the difference between me and you. You have hurt me but I'm still fucking beautiful inside and out. You are deplorable. You freaking evil son of a bitch. May nature wipe you from it. Any everyone who helped you. Who stood by you. May nature run her coarse.

There is no rehabilitation for people like this.

My parts are in a bit of disarray learning from my therapist everything were piecing together. See I've been getting older memories back before Marcus. Now I'm getting the memories from my time with this man. Seeing what was hidden from my by ME not my parts. Well then by my brain. While I was there. Fuckkkkk it just gets worse innnitttttt.

Dissociation. Fuck my psychiatrist. Let me get this approval for emdr and they will see I'm dead ass a system and I need treatment. Fuckkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Oh fuckkkkkkkk

Fuck

Fuck

Wow

Wow

Wowwwwwww

Holy shit

Yea ain't no God up there. Ain't no motherfuxking wayyyyy no higher power want me to get raped over a d over again. To get beat in my sleep over and over again. Suck dick. Take your prayers and shove them up your assess.

Nah.

What.

Yall see why i ran. My brain knew bro. Knewwwww.

Fuckkkkkkk my kid.

Omg

Omg

What can I even do with this information now?

Nothing

Deal with it.

He hurt you bad. You loved a piece of him he showed you. But the rest was there when you were asleep or high. That was his way of manipulating your memories. While you're on MM or THC. Feeding it to you. He's the reason you needed it in the first place. He was hurting you since you lived in GA in 2020. He was hurting you and causing your unexplained body pain. Yes. He set up 99 percent of your falls.

I'm nit sure the extent his family was involved. Butyou can't trust any of them. Ever. You understand. You don't have to. That's dead okay. Finitoooooo.

We ain't looking backwards. Every man for them fucking selves. Any ties to anyone. Fuck outta here. I need yall to hear me. Anybody that was gonna be here is here. Don't feel bad for nobody cause nobody give a fuck about you. We good. We been handling this. We gon handle everything else. Baby girl. I'm so proud of you.

I wonder if our bone density helped us not have broken bones. 🤔 I learned bones are an organism. They will become harder if the environment calls for it. Did getting hit by a car make my bones get harder and denser which made me sink instead of float in boot camp? Hmmmm don't know lol. But I'm a strong ass bitch. And hot Girls the gang has arrived. I felt them come in this morning.

We are capable. We are strong. We are here. We matter. We are loved. By the best person ever. Our kiddo. And our uncle and aunt. And our mom. Our mark us being left wherever we go. Even when we don't even think. Even in places we care less to pay attention to.

My therapist said I'd have bruises. Wtf bro how come I don't remember??????

I will.

It'll take time.

Wow. This is a horror movie. Holy shit. Not a lifetime but a horror lifetime. Okay maybe it's still a lifetime movie. Yall remember the hand that rocks the cradle. Holy fuck. That shit tucked me up. But this on that.

Of course dexter is his favorite show. Of course Stephen King is his favorite author of course the signs were thereeeeeee. I just ain know to read them.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #147

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, yes, but only because it was an art class assignment.

Do you know anyone in a relationship with someone who’s old enough to be their parent? It's possible, idk.

Do you know any narcissists? I sure do.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? I read a quote on the screen while watching Dark (it's German) with Girt because he wanted to know how it was properly read. I tend to fuck up on pronunciation a lot myself because I overthink it and for some weird reason I've never figured out am also just very awkward about speaking a language not everyone here understands, but I did pretty damn good that time, lol.

When was the last time you took a picture with your pet(s)? With a pet, it's been a hot minute. I just don't like taking photos featuring myself.

Which shade of foundation do you usually buy? I don't wear foundation, even in the extremely rare occasion I put any sort of makeup on.

Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Yes actually, those are so weird.

What would you consider your defining feature? Well, I'm pretty sure people are gonna notice my weight first.

You kiss: boys or girls? Boys and girls and everything inbetween.

What you wish your living situation was: Girt and I in our own place with the pets.

One color you’d never paint your walls: A bright yellow, for one.

A (normal, not manure etc.) scent you don’t like: Gasoline, tar, freshly cut grass.

One kind of alcohol you won’t drink: I will never, ever, ever put beer in my mouth because of my dad.

An actor you think has no business acting? I don't know shit about acting, don't ask me.

A food you won’t eat: Beans is one that people tend to not get at all, like I can't chew or swallow them.

An animal that scares you: Centipedes, especially big ones. They're very cool visually, but way too fast and their bites are legendary.

What’s the stinkiest pet you’ve ever had? Well Teddy and his diaper towards the end of his life, when he had UTIs non-stop. Have you also smelled a cat's litterbox? Especially when it's in your BEDROOM? God help Roman's shits sometimes.

Have you ever seen one of your friends get arrested? No, that'd be upsetting.

Do you put sprinkles on anything? No, I hate sprinkles.

How do you like your steak? Medium well.

Long hair on guys: yes or no? YES I fucking LOVE long hair on guys

Bring anyone dead back to life, who would it be? Steve Irwin.

How many siblings does your mom have? Three.

Have you ever met a mainstream band? I've never met a band, period.

Would you ever meet someone you met online? I've done it before and there are some more I would meet, even want to meet.

Is your last name extremely common? I mean, I don't think extremely common, but it's certainly not rare.

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No, it didn't even feel funny the first time I did it after living the vast majority of my life thinking I was straight.

What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? lol nothing

Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Probably time.

What’s a pretty bird? All owls. Such beautiful, majestic animals.

Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? I used to do literally everything in bed for years, I lived in it and it caused the muscle atrophy in my legs, but thank GOD I finally stay out of it as much as I can. Now I really just sometimes read or do ✨couple things✨ in it.

Is the last person you called attractive? I think my mom's very pretty, but I'm definitely not attracted to her, that'd be problematic.

What does your name mean? "Of Britain." So boring, lol.

Do you know how many people your best friend has had sex with? Yes.

Is the last person you kissed mad at you? No.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? Absolutely.

If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been quite a while.

Are you a stoner? No.

What is the last gift you received and from who? Haha Girt ordered it back in like, October, but within the past week it got here: a Mira plush that Konami released that I casually shared on Facebook just because it was super cute and Girt decided to buy it immediately, lol. She's an adorable shiba inu with a headset that originates from a joke ending in Silent Hill 2 where she's behind all of it at a big desk with tons of buttons and levers, and it became a trend in the game after that.

What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25/h, proven unlivable <3

Is there anyone that you’re mad at right now? No.

Do you feel like different alcohols have different effects on you? Not that I've noticed.

Did you change anything on your Facebook page today? No, I seldom do.

How many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life? Only three that were even remotely significant.

Have you ever purchased condoms? I didn't.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Not in our foreseeable future, it'd break my heart but I'd abort it because we are not ready for that and there's already an insane overabundance of children that need parents. Also going through a traumatic experience like pregnancy would be for me (I have a wildly strong phobia of it), getting it out, and then not keeping it would ruin me, I know it would.

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Mom, Girt, Mazzy, and Tez I'm all comfortable doing that with.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? None of them know where I live, soooo that would be concerning.

Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No; I wouldn't kill someone just because my mom asked me to.

Does sex mean love? Definitely not for everyone, but I would only do it with someone I love.

What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? A picture of the Mira plush I mentioned earlier.

Do you consider yourself a nature person? Absolutely, but I wish I could spend more time in it. Hyperhidrosis is NOT fun and dehydrates you so fast with severity like mine, and plus my legs still have healing to do before I can be outside without a place to sit nearby.

Will you keep your last name when you get married? No.

Do you like fish or chicken more? Chicken, I don't like fish.

What scares you more: snakes or spiders? Out of the two, a spider is more likely to scare me. I love snakes, but I'd obviously be alarmed if I like, suddenly noticed a rattlesnake beside me. I'm still getting comfortable with spiders, though of course my FAVORITE spiders are the ones everyone's scared of haha, tarantulas. I'm more scared of things like funnelwebs, the smaller guys that have bites that will kill the shit outta you real fuckin fast.

Do you think that texting on a date is rude? Unless it's an important text, yes, especially early on when you're getting to know each other.

What’s your favorite memory with your last ex? Showing up at her house on her birthday when she had no idea whatsoever it was happening. Parents brought her into their room as a distraction for me to go into hers and just sit at her desk; her face lit the fuck up when she saw me, and it definitely hurts to remember, because that was genuine joy. I don't regret ending our friendship (it was already over), but I regret how I went about it.

What is the oldest online account that you still use? Uh probably my primary deviantART. Or Facebook? idk

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you? No, I'd absolutely hate that.

What country does your favorite band hail from? Ozzy's from Britain, Rammstein are from Germany.

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? The prejudice that comes with having a uterus, add on that the government is super into controlling YOUR fucking body part.

What is your favorite documentary? The Meerkats from 2008, everything about it is fucking beautiful, I consider it a favorite movie beside TLK.

Who crosses your mind the most? Girt.

Ever got stitches? Yes, in my chin when I fell right on it and got a concussion, and then after my cyst removal surgery.

If Hogwarts was a real school would you attend? Because it would celebrate the work of a raging transphobe, hell no. This woman has LITERALLY said that it's her fucking income that is enough validation for her, I'm not engaging in a damn thing related to her.

Do you like fireworks? They're pretty, but I'm against their usage because of how often the remains just turn into litter, they're a fire hazard, and above all they can be a trauma trigger to people and even kill small animals with how fucking scared they get.

Is respect given or earned with you? I give everyone a baseline level of respect which will grow or shrink depending on you.

Are you any good with Photoshop? I think I'm decent, but I am absolutely no pro, there's tons of stuff idk how to do.

The political spectrum. Where do you fall? Somewhere on the left, idk my exact label.

Do you use a top sheet? No, they annoy me more than anything.

Do you know what any of your close friends did yesterday afternoon? Girt's my best friend, and Mom and I went with him and his family to lunch at Red Robin for Mother's Day. Neither of us had ever been there before, and I was really impressed, but way more than anything I just liked being together as a family, I don't see his enough, and I even got to meet his best childhood friend finally.

[newtonsheffield]

Oh God could we see that sex question based dinner after Mary walks in on them?

Ahhhhhh . Mary, OBGYN extraordinaire, desperately curious as to why Kate hadn't brought up her new boyfriend before she happened upon them trading kisses as Anthony piggy backed her from her bedroom.

And unfortunately for Kate, she really should have seen it coming

Kate's heart had been pounding in her chest ever since Anthony had arrived that morning, high fiving Newton before he'd dropped a filthy kiss on her lips.

"Happy Birthday, Babe." The nickname he'd started using sending her heart thundering, and it certainly hadn't stopped as their hips had ground together again and again, moments slipping by until she lost track of time completely lost in the way they were together.

She hadn't even realised how late it was until Anthony had groaned, his hand tangled in her hair as his lips met hers again, tongues tangling desperately. "I have to get to the restaurant."

He'd growled as she'd whined, her legs wrapped around his waist. "Well if you won't let me go, you'll have to come with me."

He'd hauled her from the bed, both of them giggling as her arms tightened around him, piggy backing her into the living room as her lips brushed his neck. And then Mary.

The minute the front door had closed behind Anthony awkward silence had fallen, Mary's eyes flicking between them before she'd let out a low whistle.

"So that's your boss."

Kate's cheeks had burned. "He's- Yes, That's him."

Mary's eyes had looked at her shrewdly for a long moment before she'd wrapped her arms tightly around her, "It's good to see you sweetheart, you need to come home more often."

And stupidly Kate thought she'd gotten away with it.

They hadn't planned to go to Aubrey Hall for dinner, but Anthony had invited them, and Mary had hummed,

"It'll be nice to go back there, just like old times."

So they'd gone, Kate sitting awkwardly at the table she usually sent food for, Mary across from her, Edwina beside her, an empty set on the other side for Anthony, who'd promised to come out for dessert. Though Kate knew he probably wouldn't.

"The menu's changed a little." Mary hummed, eyeing Kate carefully, and she knew what Mary saw: Signs of her everywhere on the menu.

"Anthony's been expanding his repertoire." It seemed to intimate to admit to all the sundays they'd spent together, trading kisses as they'd made new recipes together.

"Kate's been forcing him to." Edwina hummed, and Kate could have sighed, Mary latching onto it immediately.

"Katie, you should have told me you were seeing Anthony, sweetheart, I would have invited him sooner."

Kate flushed, "He's not my boyfriend we just... hang out."

Mary raised an eyebrow, "I used to hang out with boys when I was your age-"

"Mum! Ew!" Edwina cut in, positively disgusted, but Mary was undeterred.

"- And it didn't look like that."

Kate could hardly look at her. "Well, we just... we're close."

"Are you being close with other people?"

She could have groaned. She could see the shift in Mary, Dr Sharma taking her place. The woman who'd sat her down at explained, in such detail she'd been mortified, the intricacies of... intimacy. Her voice echoing in Kate's head all the time.

Girls, if he loves you: He'll figure out where the clitoris is.

"Mary, please."

"I'm not being intrusive, Katie, I'm trying to make sure you're being safe."

"I'm- No okay? I'm not seeing anyone else right now. Can we just have a nice dinner?"

"Is Anthony?"

"It'd be hard to imagine he has time." Edwina hummed, "They're together every night."

Kate groaned. "We're using protection... mostly."

Mary sighed, "Katie, you know that-"

"I'm on contraception!" Her cheeks were burning. "And you're not my gynaecologist!"

"What does she have you on?"

"I'm not answering that question!"

Mary hummed, "Do you have your pen light? You don't want an infections, UTI's can be-"

"Mary, please, it's my birthday, can we not talk about my UTI?"

"This is your best birthday ever." Edwina cackled into her wine, tipping the glass.

And Kate saw her opportunity. "And have you told Mary about, Matty?"

Edwina gasped as Mary's eyes narrowed, "Matty? Who's Matty?!"

Edwina whirled around, "I cannot believe you!"

Kate hummed gesturing at Matty Bagwell who'd just made his way into the dining room, placing fresh dishes on the pass "He's over there."

And she didn't even hear Mary's attack on her younger daughter's sexual health, because she'd locked eyes with Anthony, His smile so Handsome as he waved at her, and Kate's heart fluttered again, and the only thing she could think was

oh No.

[stars-self-ships]

When the recently closed Pastabilities leaves few options for an ideal date locale, Bea and Micah settle on Possum Springs' most renowned eatery, Clik Clak Diner, to have their first date...

... unaware that they have an audience of one just outside.

(Check out underneath the cut for the process I went about when drawing the above piece, as well as some insightful gushing on my latest F/Os— Bea and Mae!)

Just about a month ago, I finished my lengthy playthrough of Winds of Change, and the eighteen hour long experience I had with the game is one that I'll never forget. I'm working on writing a post detailing what I thought of it in its entirety, though once I finished Winds of Change... I realized my 'furry game' need wasn't entirely satiated.

That's not to say that Winds of Change didn't deliver on its promised "ultimate furry tale"— trust me, it is more than deserving of that title— though I found myself raring to dive headfirst into another furry-centric game to play on my Switch, and luckily, I remembered that there existed a game that I've been wanting to give a go for a short while now...

Night in the Woods.

Going into playing the game for the first time, I knew very little about it, save for three things— the main character, Mae (Mae-n character, if you will), one of the main characters is a goth crocodile girl, and another one of the main characters has this adorably goofy flailing animation... naturally, the such paired with Night in the Woods' GORGEOUS visual style warranted a play!

Now, I've only just reached the second act of the game, so there's still lots for me to learn about Night in the Woods' story and cast, though what I have played of it so far made me realize that— with every new piece of media I consume— a rule applies, that being "I will walk out of this with a new F/O"... and it shouldn't come as any surprise that I already have two from NiTW!

While I'm sure many people interacting with this post are familiar with these characters, I'm going to take a moment and introduce them both to followers who are unfamiliar (Seeing as it's also an excuse to gush), starting with my newest romantic F/O, Bea! Say hi, Bea! 🖤💚🖤

That'll do! Bea is a grungy and stoic crocodile who serves as the "like, whatever" character of Night in the Woods. She is a very melancholic individual with a habit of smoking, and is easily identifiable by her all-black outfit. It would seem that Bea was once best friends with Mae when they were kids, but upon growing up and enduring hardships, a rift of sorts has grown between them, though Bea still has respect for Mae even if she doesn't show it.

From being one of the main reasons behind me playing Night in the Woods, it was almost a given that she would see a spot on my ever-growing list of F/Os... and funnily, much like my experience with Valessa, my admiration for her was yet another 'love at first sight' instance, seeing as I recall audibly gasping when she appeared on-screen for the first time... and that's not even getting into how I reacted seeing fanart of her.

I'm positive that Bea is the first of my romantic F/Os to be of the despondent type (Think Forsburn from Rivals/Lovers of Aether), though I've always had a deep love for that kind of characterization and— on top of finding her incredibly bea-utiful— Bea is a character that I think deserves to be welcomed with open arms and showered with the love and affection she deserves.

Like, seriously. Look at her. That is the face of a girl who deserves all of the hugs in the world. Something tells me that she's the type that keeps her feelings to herself until she finds a person she trusts enough to confide them in, and to be that person for her feel wonderful... Bea deserves so much love.

You know who isn't the type to keep her feelings to herself?

Mae is a reckless and cynical cat that serves as the star of the show in Night of the Woods. After dropping out of college during her sophomore year, she ventures back to her hometown, Possum Springs, in the hopes to continue her 'lay-low' lifestyle, but finds it tough to when the familiarity of her home is crumbling and all of her friends have grown and matured (But certainly haven't forgotten about her).

Now, look— I know I say this every other new F/O, but since the first few minutes of gameplay, I was very much sold on F/Oing Mae as a younger sister F/O, because I see so much of myself in her. Granted, I don't smash cars with a baseball bat or walk on powerlines, but there's just something about her that reminds me so much of myself.

... it might be because she's got a lax lifestyle, or maybe it's because she's a known gamer, though I think the trait we share the most is holding onto our friends no matter what. Mae's friends were one of the first few people she went to after arriving home, and it really seems like they're almost family to her... I mean, they're all in a band together. How could they not be tightly knit?

Mae is for certain a F/O I would adore to hang out with. Running aimlessly about Possum Springs and crashing in her bedroom to play video games and listen to her practice her bass make for the most pleasant imagines, and it's something I'd love to focus a future art piece on.

Speaking of art pieces... the process behind creating ship art for a Night in the Woods-ified version of myself and Bea was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be! In my many years of recreating artstyles, I think NiTW's artstyle is the one I can most closely recreate... just look at the turnout of my very first attempt!!

I actually thought I would struggle with it, seeing as it's all lineless, but it seemed easy enough that I wanted to try my hand at drawing myself with Bea! The idea of a 'first date' type of scenario came to mind almost instantaneously, and after whipping up a concept of what I would look like in the NiTW canon, I was ready to get to work...

... but where would we have our first date?

Clik Clak Diner, a restaurant that Mae and company hang out at after she reunites with them, seemed like a perfect fit! Not only do I like its aesthetic, but it also looked like it would be a fun challenge to redraw for the setting of the art piece! It took a good deal of attention to detail in colors, lighting and making sure it looked as closely to the original as I could manage...

... and I think it's safe to say I nailed it! Everything you see above was remade from scratch (Save for the mostly obscured framed photo on the far right, which I copy-pasted from an upscaled version of the diner's interior), and the only thing I had to slightly change was the color of the booth's seat so that Bea's skin (?) color could stand out more.

Night in the Woods veterans might also note that Bea is rocking a new outfit! I was originally going to draw her in her usual gothic duds, though after daydreaming about how pretty she would look in a striped shirt and necklace, I drew her in just that while staying true to her sense of fashion in terms of the shirt's darker colors!

There are several other little details that I'd like to discuss about this piece, though I think I'll save those for the tags since what I have already more than enough makes for a good read! I think this Mae Bea my best drawing of 2022 so far (Geddit?), and I'm so excited to finally show it off!! 💖💖💖

[leahblackk]

Lies pt.2

(The gif is not mine. Whoever made this thank you so much and I’m sorry)

Summary: Spencer wants to apologize and explain everything to Y/n, but will she let him?

Type: Angst

Hey!! Look, I wanted to make just two parts and that's it, but while I was writing it more ideas came to my mind. Anyways, enjoy!

People who asked me to tagg them; @rexorangecouny and @b-a-utiful​

Pt.1

Pt.3

. . .

Y/n stared at, what seems now, a really awful and boring white wall in front of her. Blanky and space out from reality.

When she stepped into the bullpen with Emily Johnson, everyone stared at her in shock, but at that moment, she thought that was because of the fact that her boyfriend cheat on her with a criminal, an unsub until she looked at her left and let a sigh out of her lips. After all, it wasn't because of what had happened. It was because of the girl by her side.

They approached her and asked her questions. She gave them answers without the minor detail of what really happened with Cat. The one people said she didn't need to worry about. But they were wrong, so was she.

Hotch called the Johnsons, and they were happy, thanking Y/n for her act of bravery.

Her coworkers noticed her odd behaviour; after all, it was a room full of profilers, yet they didn't ask her what was wrong, maybe because they didn't want to push her to talk.

Y/n was thinking.

How was she supposed to move forward after what has happened in the last hour?

How was she going to "get over it" and move on?

Not after all the desires and dreams, she had with Spencer. The one she thought was the love of her life, the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life—the one she loved.

The one who had her hands on Cat's hair, kissing her like he was in love with her, kissing her in the way he kissed her.

They used to have a beautiful relationship, even before they started dating. Y/n had found a best friend and a lover in Spencer's embrace.

She thought about all those nights when they watched Star Wars and discussed the storyline. When they watched Harry Potter and agreed, they both belonged in the Ravenclaw house, and they also were Hufflepuff and a little bit of Slytherin, and they definitely hated Umbridge.

And those nights were they cuddle up in bed, whispering in each other's ear how much they loved each thing of them and how much they loved each other, how important they were and how happy they were because they found each other.

God, they even shared an apartment.

Now she was there, thinking about Spencer, her Spencer or the one she thought was hers.

Y/n was forced to get out of her memories and mind when her coworkers approached the man she was just thinking about. Her heart hurt just to see him.

She wiped the tears in her cheeks and looked at him.

Spencer gave his coworkers polite smiles, trying to focus on the only thing he wanted, Y/n.

His eyes looked over the bullpen, trying to find his girl so he could go and tried to explain himself to her, even when he knew it was going to be difficult because she was very proud, just like him.

Then his hazel eyes land on her. She looked away from her boyfriend, not so boyfriend. His world stops. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful.

But then he noticed her red eyes, and then he knew. She has been crying.

He would go over her ignoring everything else, not caring about anyone but her, hugging her, asking her why she was upset, and trying to make things better. But he couldn't, because the reason she was crying was his fault.

She looked at him hurt. And then she stood from her chair and took her purse. Ready to leave.

Spencer panicked, watching her walk in front of him. Spencer starts walking.

"Y/n," He said, but she didn't stop. "Y/n please" now tears were in his eyes, taking her elbow.

"Spencer, please let me go," She whispered. Her voice cracking at the immense pain she was feeling, hoping that Spencer would let her go to their house and packed everything so she could leave him.

She didn't dare to look at him. She knew she wasn't that strong. And how could she? When she was feeling sad, and like the world was on her shoulders, Spencer was the one who comforts her. But what happened when he was the reason she felt that way?

"Let me- Just please let me explain." He begged.

"Let you explain what?" She finally looked at him with anger and sadness. "The way you dared to kiss her when you told me how much you hate her? When I was the one who comforts you when you were sad about all the things she did to you? Do you want to narrate to me word by word how well you enjoy that kiss while I was in fucking front of you?" Even though everyone stared at them, they didn't know why they were arguing because she wasn't yelling even when she wanted to, neither did he. They were the only ones who knew what was happening.

"No, I want to explain why I did what I did."

"Spencer, please" Y/n looked at him in disbelief. "There's no other reason. I think it is pretty obvious. You didn't had the guts to tell me you didn't love me anymore. You didn't tell me that you were lying all those times when you told me that you loved me and you wanted to be with me."

"I never lied. I love you, but you didn't tell me either about the letters she was sending you. So I guess you weren't honest."

Y/n chuckled in disbelief. "You know why I didn't tell you about those letters?" Spencer nodded. "I didn't tell you because I thought It was nothing. You were there with so many problems and those horrible migraines that I didn't want to add more. I cared about you."

Spencer's eyes soften at her words. "But I don't care about anything about that, Y/n. You are my girl. You are my entire world. I want to be there for you, even if I am not so well because you are always there for me. I want to help you, doesn't matter what."

"I was." She said.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I was your girl. We are over."

. . .

After the fight they had, Y/n turned off her phone because people called her, asked her what happened. She didn't have the energies to answer those calls.

She just left, now, Spencer's apartment with her belongings. She didn't want to bother anyone and answer their questions about what happened. She could have stayed at Emily's or Penelopes, but she didn't want to.

So she turned to her old house. It was cold and lonely, maybe because she felt that way.

Y/n had bought a house when she came into Virginia. When Spencer and her started dating, Spencer decided that it was better to stay in his place because it had a better view. It wasn't that cold like hers and, in Spencer's words, was cooler than hers.

But she didn't put her house in sale, maybe because a part of her knew something like this could happen, and she never liked to stay at her friend's house for too long.

She sat in her old coach and took her phone out of her purse. She turned it on, feeling the light way too bright on her face.

The phone started getting all the notifications, all the messages, and all those missed phone calls.

The first one she answered was Penelope. She knew she would freak out because she wasn't responding.

Y/n didn't say anything more than she was okay, repeating the same answer to all of her friends.

She listened to her voicemails: her friends and four of Spencer.

Y/n bit inside her cheek, thinking if it was a good idea to listen to it, but before it was too late, she did.

"Hey, darling. My angel, I really don't know if I can call you like that anymore, but you are always going to be my angel. You obviously know who I am, and I also know you don't want to talk to me, but I think this is important, and-"

"Sorry, my last voicemail got cut. I was saying that I am really sorry Y/n, you don't even have an idea" His voice broke. "I-I got home right now, and you are not here. I wasn't expecting you to be either, but-"

"You're not here, and your things either. You left a sweater though. The white you- your favourite. The one you always put on even if it doesn't match with your outfit because you say it is comfy. And, it smells just like you-"

"I know I messed things up. I swear I have a reason and an explanation for all of this, but please come back. Come back to me because I don't think I can't live without you. I can't stay in this empty cold house. Remember when I told you to come to my home because yours was colder? It was because you were here. Every time you are in my home, it gets warmer and feels like home because home is not home if you are not here with me. I love you, please, never forget th-"

Tears came down her cheeks. All those emotions she was avoiding were out now. She felt pressure in her chest. I felt like the reality hit her hard. She was feeling alone, she was cold, and she needed him yet she knows it is not correct.

Her phone started ringing; Hotch.

She tried to calm herself down. Breathing in and out.

"Hey, Hotch, what's up?"

"You don't have to pretend when you are around me, Y/n," He said.

Hotch knew her very well. He was like a father to her, and Y/n like a daughter to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-I Hotch I- I really don't want to talk about that."

"You don't have to, but please don't pull away just because of the way you are feeling. I know it is your way to defend yourself from the world, but today you got us pretty worried. You know we live in a world where there are not so good people, and we thought. I thought something had happened."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention. I swear, I just needed my time alone."

"That's okay, but next time let us know, and I will tell you that I'm here for you, always. You are not alone."

"Thank you, Hotch. It means the world to me."

"Any time, kid."

. . .

After she took a bath and ate her dinner, it seems like she was doing everything on pilot, and maybe that was the truth, but she didn't know what to do.

She sighs and sits in her coach. She couldn't sleep.

Her phone buzzed next to her. Confused, she took it and saw who was calling her; Hotch.

She frowned and answered it. Y/n didn't have enough time to greet her boss when he was already talking. "Did Spencer call you?" He asked. Concerned?

"Yeah, he did, but-"

"Did he tell you to come to the office?"

"No, it was for other reasons. Why?"

"You need to come. Right now."

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"We have a case."

. . .

Y/n drove fast to the Bau, concerned about what Hotch just told her. She parked her car and took her purse out of the vehicle. She saw JJ just got out of her car as well.

"Do you know what is going on?" The blonde one asked.

"No, I thought you did.

Both confused women walked inside. Everyone was there.

"What it is, Hotch?" JJ asked and took a seat next to Emily. Y/n sat next to Penelope, far away from Spencer, who was looking at her in pain. Derek sat in the chair next to him, the one he saved for her, having hope she would take it.

"Spencer," Aaron said, giving the word to the young doctor. Spencer stood up and walked in front of everyone, where JJ usually briefed the team. Giving Y/n a quick look, but she was busy playing with her rings. A little hope grew in him when he saw she was still wearing his.

"I received a strange call today after I-I left Cat in jail. The voice said that my mom was in danger and that I need to protect her, so I brought her here. Hoping I can take care of her while we find the person who wants to harm her."

Y/n knew Diana Reid. She was a beautiful woman, and Y/n loved her. Besides what happened to her and Reid, she felt sorry for him. She wanted to help him.

Reid got out of the conference room and returned one minute after with her mom, who was shy at first, but she smiled when her eyes found Y/n.

"Y/n, it is so lovely to see you. Please come to say hi. I've missed you." Y/n smiled and stood up from her chair and hugged the woman. Spencer smiled at the encounter between the two women he loves the most. "How are you, darling? Look at you. You look absolutely stunning. How is my Spencer treating you?"

She looks over to Spencer, and he just looks at the ground. "I-I'm okay, and everything is okay." She lied.

"Oh darling, I'm glad."

"Mom, I think we have to start working. Do you mind waiting for me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, can I come back to your boss's office?"

"Yeah, please. Follow me." Hotch said, walking with Diana to his office.

Y/n walked where she was before, and Spencer followed her and stood in front of everyone. "Pretty boy, tell us how we can help," Morgan said.

"I-I actually think that we have to take this as a usual case. The profiling an-and everything, but Hotch said that we need to keep eyes close to my mom, and she doesn't trust the agents around, she has to be with someone she has spend time with and, I can't be with her because I need things to do, so-"Spencer looked at Y/n hoping she can understand what he was saying. Everyone looked at her, but she was looking at the ground until she heard nothing but silence.

"Pretty girl, that's your call." Morgan teased.

"Oh yeah, of course."

. . .

After everyone was brief, Hotch came back and told everyone what to do. Y/n had to keep Spencer's mom company and work with the profiling. Everyone was leaving to do their duties, but Y/n and Spencer were the last in the room. Not on purpose, of course.

When Y/n was exiting, Spencer took her wrist. She turned around to look at him with a severe face, and Spencer felt nervous. "I'm sorry, I know you don't want to talk with me, but I really appreciate what you are doing for me after all that has happened between us and-"

"Doctor Reid, I'm not doing this for you if that's what you’re thinking. I'm doing this for her, even though you don't deserve anything from me, and how I said, is for her. She's an amazing woman, and she doesn't deserve any of this, so please don't confuse things. If you excuse me, I have things to do." And with that, she left. Leaving the young doctor with the words in his mouth and with a hurt heart.

Y/n walked the short path to Hotch's office and opened the door. Diana was looking over the window. She turned around and looked at Y/n.

"It seems like we have a girl's day." She said, and Diana smiled.

. . .

Y/n spent almost the whole day with Diana Reid. It was now three in the afternoon. She already delivered the profile but still hasn't got a clue of who the person might be.

Spencer was getting desperate, but every time she saw her mom tried to look the calmest he could. Y/n always exited the room every time he did so.

Diana thought it was to give them space, but they didn't look in love as always. At least Y/n didn't. Spencer always looked at her in that way, trying to capture her attention, but he failed.

She didn't make any comments, but the last time Spencer came into the office, she couldn't stand that anymore. "There's something going on with you and Spencer?" The question took the doctor in surprise.

"Um, no. Everything is okay."

"Darling, you are not a very good liar when it comes to Spencer. What is going on?"

Y/n knew Spencer didn't deserve anything, but she couldn't bring herself to tell his mom the truth. "I don't know. It was just a fight we had earlier. Nothing to worry about."

"I see. I know Spencer can be a little bit of an idiot for being a genius, you know? He never loved anyone in the way he loves you. You are his very first girlfriend. He didn't even talk about any women until he met you, and he couldn't stop talking about you over and over again. I knew you were pretty special, and I know Spencer can sometimes be challenging. I mean, he's a man, after all. What do you expect?" Y/n chuckled. "But I do know that man loves you, and whatever that happened, it has its fix."

So Spencer didn’t told his mom about Maeve?

Y/n wanted to believe her. She tried to think it would be a way to fix things and everything could go back to normal, but she also knew something of its magnitude would be difficult.

"Hey, how are we going here?" Spencer asked. "Y/n um, they need you outside."

"It was fun to talk to you, Diana. I'll see you later."

"Thanks for spending the day with me."

"It was my pleasure." Y/n smiled, and without looking at Spencer, she exited the room.

She walked downstairs where everyone was. "Y/n, Hotch wants you to go where he's right now. The police said they have a witness. Morgan and Prentiss are over there right now." JJ informed.

Y/n nod feeling a strange sensation in her stomach. She took her purse that was on her desk and walked out.

Y/n walked through the parking lot until she found her car and unlocked it. She sat in, closed the door and put her purse in the other seat. When she was about to start the car, someone knocked on her window.

.  . .

"Y/n told me you two had troubles." Her mom said. Spencer looked at her with panic in his eyes. "Don't worry. She's too loyal to tell me what you did wrong. But you have to understand she's an amazing woman, and there's no one like her in the world. Besides, she's the only one I like for you. "Spencer lightly laughed and nodded.

"I know, mom. I messed it up." He looked at her with watery eyes.

"Oh hun, come here." She hugged him. "I know it is hard, but I do know she loves you. You should talk to her and tell her how much you love her and that you don't want to lose her. Go, now."

Spencer felt encouraged and walked out of the room, going downstairs where JJ, Emily, Morgan, and Hotch were. No sign of Y/n. He frowned.

"What is going on?" He asked.

"Spence," JJ started talking.

"Don't "Spence" me. What is going on?”

“Y/n got kidnapped.”