#i love my learning phases so much even though i know i'm going to forget most of it and even though i have to watch

[chronicowboy]

you know those periods where learning is suddenly the best thing in the world and everything becomes endlessly fascinating to you like you're a kid again, they're so fucking special and i'm learning to treasure them when they do come around once in a blue moon even though i'll likely forget everything i've learned within the month because of my memory issues but it's just like. suddenly when i watch a nature documentary, i forget my phone exists for an hour and i watch millions of butterflies gather on the trees of one specific forest in mexico with starry eyes and a slack jaw. and then afterwards i open up my notes app to note down the sheer size and longevity of sequoia trees or the way penguins can filter out their partner's call from hundreds and thousands of identical ones. and then i read a book about trees and tear up at the line "such partners are often so tightly connected at the roots that sometimes they even die together". and the world is good and so full of awe and we get to live in all this fucking fascination.

[saetiate]

saecora/corae timeline (itoshi sae x cora)

friends to lovers, an easy love, actions over words. to love is to be known. in a world where i'm allowed to be much softer than i've ever been. knowing you changed me / loving you changed me. private but not secret

all content can be read as x reader

overview: first meet -- honeymoon phase -- christmas -- valentines -- the imperfections -- domestic bliss -- engagement

other links: moodboard and webweave , tag: #submerge and awaken: sae

author's note: a lot of this is written in chronological order so the fics at the bottom will be better written :')

first meet -> friends

[drafting]

early realization of how we work well together

beginning of relationship (honeymoon phase)

going out with our friends by fangirl0027 , things only his girlfriend would know

the beginning of the relationship / honeymoon phase is beautiful, candlelit dinners and nights spent together

how does he know you're it with him? , favorite positions

christmas

christmas | packing and donating | snowed in | date night

valentine's day

date night moodboard by zeninsama

the imperfections

sae reminding you he loves you on bad days

fic about below ; fic about below 2 ; post about below (written in the tags)

after around 6 months - 1 year of dating we start to get caught up in our own lives. we get too busy to really see each other much and lowk we forget we're dating, not really but it's almost like we're not dating at all. i begin to think he doesn't like me all that much and i just don't break it off because it's fine and whatever. suddenly we haven't seen each other for three months. he leans into a conversation with some girl and the media goes off about them dating and i crash out about it (fic about this). i forget to mention that we're dating to some guy who's been flirting with me though i've been too oblivious to see it, the guy thinks i've been single this whole time (fic about this). it gets super messy.

and then we both have to have an honest conversation about our relationship and putting the effort in and that's when we start to make time for each other again. he learns to say more, to come home more, to see me more. i get into the habit of reaching out, of saying exactly what i want. i move into his place. things are much easier after that. we relearn each other and to be known is to be loved and we know each other like no other. i understand his non-communicative love. he understands what i mean even when i fumble my words.

being mad at sae for having exes by mitsuwuyaa

after knowing the imperfections

selfless love , tabloid rumours by luffysprincess

domestic bliss

how handles my trauma ; fic: with you, my heart known home.

sae by tohruies

extra stuff: anniversary night by zeninsama , what he likes to see me wear , waking up in the morning by fangirl0027 , sae putting a collar on you by mitsuwuyaa , wearing lingerie for him by tartagliove

engagement

our relationship is private but not secret so a social media post about our engagement is how his team finds out he's even seriously dating someone :')

post about this

my draft about this so far below :>

all the time after

having kids together

growing old with sae

extra notes

first fic written: 6 dec 2024 first post: 24 dec 2022

[reidologyphd]

The BAU members Godly Parents

I love Percy Jackson and Criminal Minds so i'm mashing them together :) this will be a long one so i'll do the hiding thingy but a warning, i realised too late i forgot Elle and Matt :( sorry guys

CABIN ONE - ZEUS

Jason Gideon

he is a natural leader, people follow his orders even if they have authority over him

he can be very tempermental and critical

while the bau was made by him AND rossi he feels very much like the guy, ya know?

CABIN THREE - POSEIDON

Luke Alvez

honestly this is mostly vibes but he gives me major adult percy vibes?

like easy going and laid back until you mess with those he loves

and when you go for his family you better pray to the gods

also another personal thing but he looks like he'd smell like the sea

fiercely loyal

CABIN FOUR - DEMETER

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau

cares very much for family

I feel like she has this untapped rage that I wish we saw more

she has let her personal experiences and her family cloud her judgement (I don’t see this as a flaw)

Kate Callahan

also very family oriented

as far as I remember all of her plots revolved around her family? (Meg, her sister, her being pregnant because jlh was pregnant irl)

she absolutely would turn the world into eternal winter if someone kidnapped one of her children

CABIN FIVE - ARES

Derek Morgan

this man has so much passion. Like I could make an argument for Aphrodite but I chose ares ultimately

while he is gentle soul at heart I find he is the quickest to become hotheaded and angry out of the team

he thrives on the thrill of the chase and does not ever have a career outside of ‘fighting bad guys’

Aaron Hotchner

absolute thrill seeker but hides it behind a stoic facade

ambitious as all hell and as stated in 1x5 ‘Broken Mirror’ will step on anyone to get where he wants to be

while a very family oriented man also he was never able to prioritise his family over the ‘war’ they’re fighting

I could write a whole essay on this ngl

CABIN SIX - ATHENA

Spencer Reid

do we even need to talk about this one?

I know he’s multifaceted and a nerd isn’t automatically a child of Athens but it’s the fact he loves learning and collecting PHD’s just for fun

he values wisdom and intellect so much I’m sure he’d marry it if he could.

I also just associate this brand of person with awkwardness/social ineptitude. Because things are obvious and clear to them they sometimes forget to factor in the emotional consequences or implications of certain things.

also he has a massive vocabulary and can describe any emotion to you but he cannot recognise when he’s feeling them

Alex Blake

honestly much the same as Spencer

a difference between them is that I think she tries to shove down her emotions because she sees them as pesky and inconvenient, rather than not feeling them

like despite Spencer being like her child she didn’t mention Ethan until one of her final episodes

CABIN SEVEN - APOLLO

Penelope Garcia

i'm focusing less on the medicine side of things and more the creativity because look at her

and in the Riordanverse Apollo is portrayed as... idealistic rather than predatory when it comes to love which i think lends itself well to Penelope's borderline toxic positivity and her insistence on seeing the good in people

she can be seen as obnoxious and loud (never to me though) and most definitely had a theatre kid phase, all of which i think goes hand in hand with being a child of Apollo

CABIN NINE - HEPHAESTUS

Stephen Walker

i'll be honest i don't remember Stephen that well so if this is wrong my bad king

as far as i remember he was perfectly nice if not a little solitary and was pulled in especially since he fit a specific need for finding scratch, like he was a specific part of the blue print?

pretty sure he was also part of a specific task force before and was like a building block there too?

i'm sorry king

CABIN TEN - APHRODITE

Tara Lewis

other than being absolutely g o r g e o u s

i feel like she has a lot of passion and drive but it's shown in a more subtle way and she likes to hide it with her intellect

i also think importantly she enjoys her femininity in a way that say Penelope or JJ don't (not to say those two aren't feminine, they just don't connect with it like tara does?). she's very much 'wears a stilleto to stab you with it' kind of woman, even if she doesn't express that as much

i also think she can be quite emotionally constipated in relationships and such in a way a child of Aphrodite might be because they're used to the flirting and chasing but then don't know how to maintain the relationship

Ashley Seaver

once again don't remember much about this queen but she is stunning

i feel like it's a very child of Aphrodite experience to be looked over and dismissed because of their looks and the two main things discussed with Seaver is that she's pretty and her dad is who he is

she is also very Piper coded in that she resents that femininity and the pigeon hole it puts her in and wants to be recognised for her own merits and achievements rather than her looks.

Piper and Ashley also both have famous dads, albeit for different reasons

CABIN ELEVEN - HERMES

Emily Prentiss

she is a nomad!!! she doesn't stay in the same place for too long!!!

while i am obsessed with the woman she is very adept at trickery and bending the truth, something children of Hermes are good at too

is home for those around her and has no shortage of love to give her friends because she sees her friends as her home too

it just fits

CABIN TWELVE - DIONYSUS

David Rossi

this one just fits for me too the man loves alcohol

he does love his family more but i don't that precludes him from being a child of Dionysus

he does also kill a man so i feel like that qualifies as having the madness, ya know?

not much to say this one just comes from the soul

CONGRATS!!! you made it to the end!!!! as a little treat if you made it this far i love you and i think elle would be a hunter of artemis, i'm really not sure about Matt

discussion is wanted and encouraged!!!

[pedroshotwifey]

Manners

Pairing: Jack "Whiskey" Daniels x fem!reader

Word Count: 8.4k

Tags/Warnings: No use of Y/N, Age gap, Slight authority/seniority kink (He's her boss), Slight Sir kink, Oral sex (f and m receiving), piv sex, probably more I'm forgetting about but oh well 🤷‍♀️

Summary: You make a small slip-up and Jack offers to help brush you up on your manners.

A/N: Hello lovely readers! Please keep in mind that even though I have written multiple works at this point, this one is the first one I ever published. As I begin to post some of my more recent fics, you should be able to see a difference in quality overall. I did, however, go back and make edits to this one so that it is better than it would have been if I had posted it in its original state. I hope you enjoy it, and please keep an eye out for the more recent fics I will be posting within the next week or so!

***

The sun is bright in your eyes as you attempt to blink them open for the first time this morning. You can feel the warm rays sneaking through the curtains to crawl over your blanketed form. The birds are singing a sweet song right outside your window, their song slowly stirring you awake. You sigh in contentment at the peaceful scene you woke up to.

It’s definitely one of those mornings where it will be impossible to drag yourself away from your cozy bed. Once you are able to pry your eyes open all the way, you sit up and pull the curtain back a little to admire the landscape of the small ranch you work on. 

Being able to wake up and come home to the beautiful view presented by the window beside your bed has quickly become one of your favorite things about this job. Part of your payment is living in the small one-bedroom house stationed on top of one of the few hills on the ranch. 

It's not much, but you love the cozy feeling the house gives off. It's absolutely perfect for you and you have made sure to let your boss know how appreciative you are of it. Within the six months that you have lived on the property, you have only talked to the boss a handful of times, and each time he asks you if you are still comfortable living in the cottage. 

Even though he told you that you can make any adjustments you want, he still likes to check that it is to your standard. You always tell him that you are perfectly content, and he always makes a point to remind you that you are welcome to move into one of the many rooms of his large ranch house if you ever change your mind. 

You have learned that Mr. Daniels is very generous. He seems to genuinely care about the well-being of his employees. Despite his array of offers though, you always choose to stay in the small cottage. You know that he worries about you being secluded, but in reality, you are still in view of the main house. You trust that if anything were to happen, he or another ranch hand would be there in an instant to assist you. 

It's true what you tell him; you are perfectly content with the small house, but you have to be honest with yourself. You know that you are turning him down for other reasons as well — annoying reasons that you wish would cease to exist.

About two months in, you made the realization that you are nursing a crush on your boss. By that time though, you had already settled in. You had figured—hoped—the attraction would be a phase. By now, you’ve realized it most certainly was not. In your defense, a few weeks after the realization, it seemed like the crush had passed, faded into nothing more than a tiny tug in your chest when you thought about him. That is until you had to meet up with him for a monthly check-in at least. 

You had scolded yourself and tried to ignore the bubbling feeling in your stomach as he talked to you in that syrupy southern drawl you have come to crave. You had a sinking suspicion that you didn't do a very good job of concealing the way you felt. The way the cowboy had smirked at you every now and again during the, in your opinion, much-too-long interaction suggested that he knew exactly what kind of thoughts you had brewing.

If you didn’t know any better, you would dare say that the asshole might enjoy making your face flush bright as a tomato. Sure, the man may be about twenty years your senior, but you can't deny the tension that has begun to build since then. 

He seems to have made a game of getting you flustered during meetings, and you have quickly accepted the challenge of keeping your cool as he does so. Unfortunately for you, he usually wins. 

You groan as you remember that you need to prepare yourself for the meeting taking place today. You sit up and let your feet dangle off the side of the bed as you stretch your arms into the air, attempting to ease your sore muscles. 

Letting your hands back down to rest on your lap, you glance at the clock. It reads 10:41. 

Shit

Suddenly awake, you jump out of bed and scramble over to your closet, frantically laying out a work outfit. You are supposed to be meeting Mr. Daniels at 11:00. You had set an alarm to wake you up at 9:30 so you would have time to eat breakfast and tidy up around the cottage before you had to leave. Of course, today would be the day the clock wouldn’t go off. 

It takes about five minutes to get to the main house from here, maybe two that if you run, but even then it would still be cutting it close. If there is anything you hate, it's making a bad impression, and being late is one of the best ways to do that. 

You know that Mr. Daniels probably won't mind, but you still don't want to be an inconvenience. You are the only female worker on the ranch, and even though Jack always lets you know how much he appreciates your hard work, you still want to stay on top of your responsibilities. You know deep down that you have nothing to prove, but some of the guys can be pretty rude with their unnecessarily sexist comments.

They just love to follow you around and breathe down your fucking neck. Their favorite antic has got to be making you feel like you aren’t capable of picking up bigger loads. “Can I get that for you, Princess?” they ask with stupid smirks, already knowing your answer. You have learned that the best way to deal with that is to give them a smile and kindly assure them that you got it. It’s no fun for them when you don’t feed into it, after all. 

Even so, Mr. Daniels is usually pretty quick about shutting “jokes'' about you down, but you can't help but feel like he might see some truth to them. He doesn’t of course - in fact, he constantly tells you that you are one of the best hands he has ever had working for him. 

You always soak up any praise he gives you, even though you feel like a giddy schoolgirl sometimes. You swear that man’s comments will ultimately be the death of you. 

You check the clock again as you finish tying your hair back and set your hat on your head. 

10:54. Perfect. 

After you brush your teeth, that should give you enough time to walk down to the house just in time for the meeting to start. 

***

Somehow, it ended up being 10:57 by the time you were walking out the door. As you step outside, you can see Mr. Daniels standing outside his house, glancing at his wrist. You furrow your brows as you realize that the rest of the ranch hands are nowhere to be seen. There's no way the meeting is just between the two of you, right? You couldn’t have missed a detail that detrimental… right?

Shaking your head, you start to sprint toward where your boss is standing. The guys will probably be there by the time you reach the house… hopefully. You’re not sure if you can handle Jack Daniels on your own today. It takes you about two and a half minutes for you to get to him, and—much to your chagrin—there’s not another worker in sight.

You inhale deeply as you approach him - you can already feel the butterflies in your stomach with every step you take. He looks exceptionally good today, donned in his signature black stetson. Once you are close, you plaster a smile on your face and pray silently that you made it on time. 

“Hello Mr. Daniels,” you say sweetly.

“Good morning sugar,” he says before flashing you a toothy grin. You try to ignore the names he has for you most of the time, though you secretly love the almost nonchalant affection behind them.

You feel your face flush and try to turn your head towards the ground in an attempt to hide it, but you know he saw when you notice his eyes narrow slightly out of the corner of your own. The look sends heat straight into your lower abdomen and you swallow as you look up to meet his gaze again.

“Did nobody else show up?” you ask him, trying to keep your composure.

He chuckles quietly at your question and you suddenly wish your ears would stop working. “No darlin’, I figured we could have a one-on-one meeting this time around—if that's ok with you of course?”

“Oh, um, yea of course, that's just fine Mr. Daniels.” Liar, your brain spits at you. 

***

Fortunately for your dignity, the meeting was pretty normal for the most part. Mr. Daniels asked you if you were still comfortable in your cottage, to which you—as always—replied that you love having your own place.

He told you of the tasks he wants you to perform throughout the next couple of weeks and of your expected schedule. He also pointedly reminded you to call him Jack, which you ignored and continued to refer to him in a formal fashion. You didn't need any more personal ties to this man.

After everything that needed to be said was conversed, you both said goodbye and began to part ways. 

You let out a deep breath, silently congratulating yourself for not slipping up as you turn your back to your boss. Maybe everything will be fine. 

“Oh, and honeybee?” You hear Mr. Daniels' question come from behind you and tense back up immediately. There was something about the way he said it, almost like it was coming through a smirk, that made your eyes grow wide.

You spin back around to find the cowboy standing in place with his back to you.

“Yes, Mr. Daniels?” Your voice comes out squeakier than you expect and you grimace at the sound.

“You were a minute late today, hon.”

Shit. You let your eyes flutter shut and attempt to gulp down your anxiety as he continues. Of course the bastard would point something like that out, he’s well aware of how big you are on that kind of thing.

“Now don’t worry, you ain’t in trouble, darlin’,” he says much too confidently for your liking, “but just so we can assure it won’t happen again, maybe you should swing by the house tonight so we can brush you up on your manners.”

Unable to speak, you stare at your boss’s now descending form with an open jaw. Did you hear that right? 

The asshole must know that you are still rooted to the spot he left you in because he cranes his neck to say “You’re free to go for now doll, i’ll see ya at 8:00,” he says before sending you a wink and turning back around. 

You quickly close your jaw and turn on your heel towards the barn. Your heart is racing much too quickly in your chest as you approach your first task of the day. 

***

Getting through the day was absolutely agonizing. You love your job and find most of the tasks you have to do decently easy, but the conversation from this morning has been running through your mind non-stop. 

Brush up on your manners...

You wanted to hate him for his blunt suggestion, but you realized about halfway through the day what he actually meant by it. At least, what you hope he actually meant by it. You have been pushing your excitement down all day and it has evidently been landing between your legs.

At this point, as you trek back to your house to freshen up, you can feel your core throb with every agonizing step. This man has had you on edge all day and you are frustrated to no end.

Brush up on your manners...

You'll show him. You'll show him just how sweet you can be… Or maybe you won't…

The thought of being defiant sends a wave of excitement over your entire body. What would he do then? Would he decide to punish you for your bad behavior?

You'll have to decide how you will act on the way to his house. You put on a wicked grin as you begin to rustle through your closet for some presentable clothes. What Jack didn’t realize is that he accidentally put the ball right into your court.

You almost can't believe this is actually happening. As you sit down to put some mascara and lipstick on, you pinch yourself to make sure this isn't all a dream. 

As you slip on your flowy sundress and boots, you are sure you will open your eyes any minute now. As you lock the door to your cottage, you expect to be waking up in your bed.

***

It really sinks in that what you are doing is real as you raise your fist to knock gently on your boss’s front door. Your nerves feel like they are on fire and you almost decide to turn around and forget all about it. Before you have the chance to change your mind, however, the door in front of you is being swung open to reveal the devilishly sexy grin hidden behind it.

“Hello again, sugar,” he says after you stand there for a second, “I was hoping you would take me up on my offer.”

You try to speak but find your voice caught in your throat, so you just nod and try to send him what you hope is a feasible smile. Without another word, he smiles back and moves to the side to gesture you into the house. 

Once inside, you decide to test your voice again. “Thank you for inviting me, Mr. Daniels,” you say as he shuts the door behind you, formal as ever. 

“Well of course honey,” he says in a tone much too cocky for your liking, “and look at you, already puttin’ those manners to use.” 

You flush a dark shade of crimson when you find yourself at a lack of words once again. Fortunately, Jack takes that as his cue again and moves in closer, backing you into the wall behind you. You don't stop him as he steps into your personal bubble and reaches a hand toward your face. 

He smirks as he feels you shudder when his large hand finds your cheek. You bite your lip to stop the sound that threatens to escape. His palm feels so warm against you, and you feel so tiny in comparison as you look up into his dark eyes. 

You see the mischievous twinkle in his eye as he grasps your chin more firmly to bring your face up to his just slightly. You sneak a quick glance at his plush lips that are now mere inches from your own. It would be so easy to just lean in a bit and-

“Now, sugar,” Mr. Daniels says, interrupting your thoughts, “for the purposes of tonight, you can call me sir. Understand?”

Your eyes widen slightly at his command and you try to nod your head as much as you can with his hand still gripping your chin. Yup, you were definitely right in your earlier assumption. Your knees feel weak, threatening to give out. The sensation distracts you for a moment and when you come back into focus you find Jack looking at you expectantly. 

“Let's try that again, doll,” he says as he digs his fingers into your chin ever so slightly. You swallow as you watch him tilt his chin up to look down at you. His mouth drops open into a thin smirk as he raises his eyebrows. You feel your legs buckle underneath you again and you would probably fall if not for his hand propping you up. 

“Understand?” he repeats, clearly wanting a verbal response. Likely wanting your consent so he can be sure you’re of with the way things are going. You would be damned if you weren’t.

“I-” you stop when he gives your chin a warning squeeze, it isn’t hard, but it’s enough to give you the hint

. 

“Yes sir,” you manage to get the words out. They were high-pitched and shaky, but you were surprised you were able to speak at all.

Your eyes close slowly as he lowers his head back down to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, rewarding you for catching on. 

“Good girl,” you shudder and bite back a moan at his gentle praise. 

Your eyes land on his lips as you open them again. You stare for a little longer than you probably should before you meet his gaze again. You can't help it, they just look so warm and inviting. You picture them enveloping your own.

When he sees you look away from his lips, he loosens his grip once more and leans in close enough to nudge his face next to yours, almost as if he were going to nibble your ear.

“Would if be okay if I kissed you, baby?” he asks, voice barely a whisper. A shiver racks through your spine at his words combined with the feeling of his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. 

You start to nod before you remember what he wants you to do. You want to scold yourself for giving in so easily, but you block that thought out as you feel him start to pull back. Your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest as you stare into his deep chocolate eyes. You hate him for making you say it, but you do it anyway.

“Yes sir,” your voice is just as quiet as his, if not more.

He closes the distance before you even realize you spoke the desperate words out loud. You close your eyes and slot your lips against his. It feels like absolute euphoria as you melt into the heated kiss. It's sloppy and uncoordinated, but automatically you decide it is the best kiss you’ve ever had. 

You moan as his tongue slips past your lips, giving you a taste of what you can only describe as Jack. His lips are the perfect combination of soft and chapped and you can't help but give in completely to him. If given the option, you would stand here and kiss this man until the day you die. 

You sigh as you feel his hand release your jaw and make its way down your body to rest on your hip. Shortly after, you feel his fingers run through your hair to grasp the base of your skull, pulling you deeper into the passionate kiss. Your own hands begin to cling onto his clothes, wanting to be as close as possible to him.

Suddenly, he pulls away, his palms stationed firmly on your hips and on teh back of your neck. You look into his eyes and you can see the hunger lingering in his stare. His pupils are blown with desire and you can feel the way they must mirror your own. 

“Let me taste you?” He asks you, desperation clear in his voice as he nearly begs.

You nod feverishly in your lust-drunken state, not entirely sure what he just asked. All you know is that with the admiration this man is looking at you with, you would be a fool to deny him anything he asked for. 

You can see the way he shifts, clearly wanting to get to whatever you had just consented to. He stops though, smirking as he seemingly remembers something. 

“Try again sugar,” he tells you. You immediately know what he wants.

“Y-yes sir,” you say quickly, not sure how the words came out that fast. As soon as you say it, Jack begins to move again. You sober quickly as you watch the fierce man in front of you sink to his knees, letting his large hands run down your sides as he does so. Once settled, he looks up into your wide eyes and wets his lips. His eyes look heavenly as he beams at you with adoration.

You snap back to reality and feel the blood rush up to your cheeks as you finally realize what he had asked you. Still drunk on his kiss, you had answered him before you gave yourself a chance to think about it.

“Want to see if you taste as sweet as I've imagined, darlin’.”

Before you get the chance to respond, he leans forward to press a kiss over your clothed mound. He darts his tongue out to flick your clit, somehow knowing exactly where it is.

You involuntarily buck your hips to his face as your hands fly to rest on his broad shoulders. It's a new sensation—a welcome one for sure—but new nonetheless. You aren’t inexperienced, but you haven’t had many lovers, and none of them had ever been generous enough to go down on you.

“Oh f-fuck!” The expletive flies from your mouth as he repeats the action. He pulls back and you watch him grin against your thigh before pressing a sof kiss to the fabric covering it. 

You feel your dress being bunched up in one of his fists, but he doesn't raise it yet. Figuring he probably wants your permission, you look down at him and give him a shaky nod.

When he sees the confirmation, he sends you another smirk that shoots straight down to your cunt. You bite your lip as you feel your dress rise up past your panties.

It's been a while since you had any sexual encounter, and you feel exposed until you see the pure lust in Jack's eyes; how could you ever feel uncomfortable under a gaze like that?

“Fuck darlin,” he says, eyeing your lacy black panties. “You put these on just for me?”

“Y-yes sir,” you say. He seems satisfied with your response as he extends the hand that's not holding your dress up to run a finger through the wet patch between your legs.

“Oh sugar, you been thinkin’ ‘bout me?” He asks you when he feels the wetness beginning to pool through the lace fabric.

“Yes sir,” you tell him truthfully. “All day.” You figure you have no shame left, might as well just tell it as it is. Though you are trying to sound confident, your voice sounds soft even in your ears.

You can tell by the way Jack's eyes glow when you admit your thoughts that he finds your nervousness arousing. 

“Alright sugar, I'll tell you what,” he says as his thumb absently traces circles on your thigh. “I think you have been such a good girl for me so far…” To your embarrassment, you whimper at his praise.

“I want you to use my real name when I have you screaming for me.”

When you don't say anything, he looks up to meet your flushed face. Your mouth is dropped open slightly at his casual suggestion and your face feels like it's on fire.

He gives you no more warning as he smirks and hooks your panties to the side before shoving a finger into your dripping hole in one swift motion. You squeeze your eyes shut and relish in the feeling of having something filling you up. You immediately want more, and you tell him as much.

He chuckles darkly at your desperation as he begins to pump his finger in and out at a painfully slow pace. 

“Remember your manners, doll,” he reminds you. You groan in frustration but comply with his request.

“Shit, please Jack, please give me more.” Your words sound rushed as they spill from your kiss-swollen lips. yup, all dignity out the window.

He approves your request by dipping another finger into your wet heat, but he does nothing about the speed in which he moves his hand. Despite the pace, you can feel the tension in your abdomen begin to build up embarrassingly quickly as he rubs against that spongy place you can never reach. 

One of your hands leaves his shoulder to tangle in his hair. You whimper at the friction you have been craving all day and try to grind down on his digits in an attempt to reach that sweet spot deep inside you again. 

You want to scream when he quickly extracts his fingers. 

“Now darlin’, you gotta be patient if you want me to reward you.” He sends you a flashy smirk as he teases your entrance with the pad of his middle finger, applying just enough pressure to make it seem like he’s going to breach you again, but he never does. You shiver at the feeling. Bastard.

“Yes sir, I'll be good,” you promise him eagerly. 

“Know you will be, such a good fuckin’ girl,” he mutters mostly to himself as his fingers split you open once again. He sets a faster pace this time, and you can feel the coil in your belly getting ready to snap. You feel his mouth envelope your throbbing clit through your panties and you let out a whiny moan. 

“I- fuck Jack, im close,” you breathe out in pure ecstasy. At your unworded request, he adds a third digit and begins to pump his fingers at a near-brutal pace. You can feel a sheen of sweat beginning to cover your body. Just a few strokes away now…

He takes his mouth away but continues his attack with his fingers. He tilts his head up to watch your teary-eyed expression, your mouth slightly agape. He chuckles quietly at how fast he was able to find the spots that make you squirm for him.

“Now doll, here's where we work on that timing,” he starts. You barely register what he says through your haze, but you get the gist of it and furrow your brows. When he sees your confusion, he fills you in. 

“You want to come, honey?” he asks you nonchalantly. 

“Oh, yes sir,” you squeak as you feel a tear run down your cheek; you’re so close, you don’t want him to deny you again. “Yes, yes, please let me come.” your eyes flutter closed from the pure pleasure he is bringing you with just his hand.

“Okay, sweetheart, that's what I thought.” you’re not sure if you like the playfulness in his tone. 

“I'm going to do a countdown for you,” he starts. “When I reach ‘one’, you can come.” Your eyes fly open faster than they had closed. 

“Jack,” you try not to sound whiny as you protest. “Jack, I-I don't know if I can—I don't know if I can do that!” The grin that spreads onto his face is absolutely wicked—he has you right where he wants you.

“Well hon, you're just gonna have to, ain’t ya?” he tells you. “I'll have no choice but to punish you if you come too soon or too late.” Your eyes grow wide but you can't deny the curiosity that breaches your mind at what his idea of “punishment” might be. 

“I believe you can do it darlin’,” he encourages you before you have the chance to protest. You know he would stop if you asked him, but that would be the only way out—and he would be stopping completely. You are so close, like Jack said—you can do this. 

You swallow and nod down at him, signaling your agreement. By now, he has slowed down his pace drastically, and you would do anything to have his fingers abusing your cunt again. 

“Okay, let's start then,” he says through his toothy grin. “I'm gonna to go from five.” Seeing you nod again, he brings his mouth back to work at your still-covered clit.

“Five.” You keen sharply as he mouths at your clit, prodding the bundle of nerves with his skilled tongue.

“Four.” you aren't sure if you are going to have enough control to make it to one. It feels almost painful knowing that you have to wait for permission. 

“Three.” “There you go hon, so close now.”

“Two.” your breathing picks up and you can't help but let the high pitched moans barrel out as you focus on holding your release. You want to beg for his permission, but you know your best bet is to wait it out. 

“One.”

Jack sucks hard on your clit as you scream his name. Your vision goes white and you suddenly feel like you’re floating. The intense orgasm seems to last forever, you’ve never felt anything so blissful in your life. 

“There you go sugar,” you hear Jack's giddy voice coming from a faraway place. “Scream my name as loud as you need to.”

Other than the shudders that wrack your body, you are barely aware of anything else around you. It feels like you are suspended in another dimension. You can feel your juices running down your thighs and hear Jack happily slurping them up, muttering gentle praise into your sex.

“Did so good for me honey bee,” he tells you, “Right on time’.”

It seems like an hour has passed by the time you are finally able to open your eyes and look down at the man on his knees before you. It takes you a second to notice, but once your vision comes back all the way, you can see droplets of wetness make their way down Jack's face to drip off of his nose and chin. 

Holy Shit…

Your eyes widen in time with your jaw as you begin to piece together what happened. You keep your gaze on Jack while you figure it out. He looks almost as blissed out as you do with his hooded eyes and his mustache covered in your slick.

“Oh my god Jack,” you say, feeling your face turn red. “I didn't…”

The smirk on his face widens and he opens his mouth to shove his fingers inside. He closes his mouth as he suckles on them and then pulls the digits out with a wet pop. 

“Oh yes you did honey,” he says after he opens his eyes to meet yours. “And you taste just as divine as you looked while you squirted all over my hand.”

“Now let Jack finish cleanin’ you up sugar.” With that, he dips his head back down to lap at your sensitive folds. You buck your hips when you feel him graze your over-sensitive clit,

“Let's get these the rest of the way off, sweet thing,” he chuckles darkly as he slides his finger back and forth across the band of your ruined panties.

Not knowing what to say, you nod and step back for him. You start to bend down to take your shoes off before you slide your panties down, but you’re stopped as you feel him lightly tap the outside of your thigh.

Meeting your curious expression, he shakes his head slightly and shifts to one knee before tapping the one he had popped up, gesturing for you to place your foot there.

You want to swoon over him for how much of a gentleman he can be even though he was just knuckle-deep in your cunt. You shoot him a bashful smile as you comply with his silent request and gently place your foot on his raised leg.

He returns the smile before sliding your shoe off and caresses your calf while he sets it off to the side. He motions for you to switch legs and you watch as he repeats the motion with that one as well. 

Once you have both feet planted back on the ground, Jack reaches up to hook his fingers into the sides of your waistband. He slowly slides the now soaked garment down your bare legs, being careful not to leave any residue on your skin.

Once they are discarded next to your shoes, he stands back up to his full height. He gently slides both of his hands onto your face and brings you in to lock you in a bruising kiss. 

“What do you say, doll?” He asks you once he pulls back. You smile at him, proud of yourself for knowing exactly what he wants.

“Thank you, sir,” you tell him bashfully. He beams at your quick learning and moves one of his hands to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “My pleasure, honey.”

It's your turn to smirk up at him as you begin to descend onto your knees. He looks down at you with a look somewhere between amusement and confusion as you settle into a comfortable position. 

“Aw sugar,” he tells you, running his fingers through your hair. “You don't have to do that.”

You put up at him in a mocking manner and stop your hands halfway to his belt buckle. “Please sir, I want to,” you tell him. You watch as his brows narrow slightly and his eyes grow darker.

“What exactly do you want, honey bee?” he asks you, though the bastard knows exactly what you mean. You decide to play along with his game anyway.

“I want to make you feel good, sir,” you say, looking up at him through your thick eyelashes. “Will you let me?” 

He continues smoothing your hair down as he slowly nods at you, giving you permission. You hear his breath catch in his throat as your hands find his buckle. 

You bite your lip as you anxiously fumble with the heavy thing. Once unclasped, you unzip his pants and tug them down just enough to see the large bulge in his boxers. He smirks as he notices your eyes widen at the size of it.

“You can do it, honey,” he rests his free hand back on your cheek as he assures you. You lean into his touch and gently take his thumb into your mouth, suckling lightly. His skin tastes heavenly and you hum in anticipation of how good his cock must be.

Maintaining eye contact, you reach out and give him a small squeeze through his boxers. He groans at the touch and you smirk as you reach into his waistband and tug his hardened dick out. 

You give him a couple of jerks and watch the way his face twists with pleasure before you look down. He chuckles when he hears you gasp as your gaze trails downwards.

Holy shit.

He's fucking huge. Sure he's got length, but his girth is what has your eyes growing wide. You swallow as you look back into his eyes. 

“Like what you see?” He asks, amusement clear in his voice. You roll your eyes as you give him another short tug. You let your thumb run over his tip, spreading precum over the head. 

You smirk as he shudders above you. You lean forward to dart your tongue out over his slit, tasting the saltiness of it. He lets out a strained groan at the contact. “Like what you feel?” You ask him innocently. You look up to meet his now blazing stare.

“Now doll,” he pauses as he rubs your cheek. “That's one dangerous game you just started,” he says slowly. You swallow at his menacing tone.

“And I hope you are prepared to play it.”

With that, he grasps your chin, making your mouth fall open as he brings your face toward his heavy cock. He watches your expression to make sure you don't want to stop before he guides his stiff length into your mouth.

He wastes no time as he shoves himself all the way down your throat, not giving you the chance to take him slowly. Your nose nuzzles into the dark curls at the base of his cock as you try not to choke. 

He doesn't move yet, allowing you to get used to the feeling. You try not to gag as you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. You close them, letting the liquid stream down your cheeks as you swallow, trying to adjust yourself.

“Ah fu-“ Jack stutters as he feels your throat convulse around his length. “There you go s-sugar, just like that.”

You bathe in the way the blissed-out way Jack's eyelids start to droop and his mouth falls open the tiniest bit as you start to move your head back and forth. A strangled groan spills from his lips when you move back and circle your tongue around his tip before sliding back down to the base.

You feel him set his hand on your head, not pushing or pulling you in any way, just resting it there. There's a glint in your eyes as you look up at him and put your hand on top of his, pushing lightly.

Jack's eyes widen as he realizes what you are insinuating, but you can see the desire behind his expression. 

“Shit- I-“ he fumbles over his words, "you sure sweetheart? I ain’t gonna be gentle.” You nod up at him as much as you can and push his hand in encouragement again.

“Alright darlin’,” he stares down at you with adoration, “tap my thigh if you need me to slow down.”

You can tell he has been trying to hold himself back, and you feel your wetness start to drip down your thighs as his face relaxes. He takes over your movements as he presses on the back of your head experimentally.

You give him complete control and submit to his request, putting your tongue out flat as he pushes you down his thick length. You moan out in pleasure at the thought of him having complete control and his cock twitches at the sound.

His actions start slow, but gradually build up as he begins to chase his high. He whispers praise to you in between moans as he fucks your mouth.

As you watch him, you think that the expression he makes when he is consumed with pleasure might be the best thing you have ever seen—better than the view from your cottage window. You hum around him, sending vibrations through his whole body.

“Oh, fuck!” You can feel yourself growing wetter the more Jack struggles to keep his composure. “S-Shit sugar, I'm gonna need t’ stop if you want me to be able to take care of you right.”

You whimper at the thought of his cock slamming in and out of your pussy and you feel more slick dripping down your legs. You squeeze your thighs shut, trying to get some friction to relieve the ache on your throbbing clit.

Knowing he's close, Jack pulls you off of him with a growl. He grins as he hears you whine at the loss. 

“Now darlin’,” he starts. “There will be plenty of chances to do that again, for now though,” you watch as his eyes somehow grow darker still. “I want to feel that tight cunt around my cock.”

You can't stop the moan that escapes from your lips upon hearing his dirty words. You must be dripping onto the floor at this point, but you don't care. All you care about right now is Jack staying true to his word.

Hearing your desperate moan ignites something feral in him, and before you even realize what he was doing, you are slung over his shoulder, ass in the air, as he strides into his bedroom.

He flings you on the bed as soon as he enters the threshold and immediately goes to work pulling off his boots. You sit there stunned as he starts fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, exposing more of his perfectly tanned skin.

He glances up at you through his haze to see your shocked expression, and you watch as a lopsided smirk overtakes his features.

“You gonna strip or what, honey?” He asks you in a teasing tone as he continues undressing.

You roll your eyes and grin as you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks. As he looks back down to concentrate on the last few buttons on his shirt and you take that as a cue to tug your dress off. 

Left in only your bra, you take that off too as Jack is tugging off his pants. Donned in only his boxers, he looks back at you and you watch his eyes rake over your naked form. 

His smile falters and you think for a second that you did something wrong. 

“You are so damn beautiful darlin’,” he says, easing your worried thoughts. You smile 

sheepishly as he starts to walk towards the bed.

He leans over the side, wedging one of his knees between your own as he leaves a trail of delicate kisses up the column of your throat. You tilt your head up to allow his access and shiver as he brushes along your pulse point.

“Jack,” you say in a whiny tone, not really sure what you're asking him for. He seems to know better than you do though, because he lifts his lips up to yours as he slides a hand down between your bodies. 

You moan into his mouth as he uses two fingers to lightly circle your clit. The kiss turns sloppy and you bring your arms up to circle around his neck, pulling him in closer.

He moves the fingers from your clit to tease at your sopping cunt. He slides them in one at a time and you keen underneath him, making his cock twitch in his boxers. His erection is almost painful now, but he wants to get you ready for him before he gives in to his urges.

You feel yourself climbing closer to the edge as Jack adds a third finger and begins to work at your swollen bud with his thumb. He can feel you writhing below him and he smiles into your mouth, proud of the way your body reacts to his touch.

“Jack, im gonna-“  You don’t get to finish the warning as you feel him flick his thumb over your clit, pushing you over the edge. Your whole body shakes with pleasure as you mewl into Jack's lips. 

Your eyes roll back and you feel yourself clench around Jack's fingers, causing a guttural groan to escape from him. He pumps his fingers in and out, easing you through your high.

As you still, you lay your head down fully on the mattress and look into Jack's eyes. You feel like a schoolgirl as you smile lopsidedly at him, giving you an eager grin in return. 

“You ready, darlin’?” he asks. You take a deep breath and nod at him. He leans down to plant small kisses on your forehead and on the tip of your nose as he pushes himself off of the bed to shed his boxers. 

You scootch back a little, giving him more room as he climbs back up. Your stomach flips as you look into his eyes, feeling one of his hands come up to rest next to your head. 

He dips down for another kiss and you feel the head of his cock find its way to your entrance. You suck in a breath as he begins to slowly push himself into your dripping heat. 

“Oh- fuck baby girl,” he groans as he pushes deeper. You feel the hand near your head clench the sheets beside you as he sheaths himself to the hilt. His size takes your breath away and you are grateful when he pauses to let you adjust.

The stretch pinches, making you scrunch your eyes shut. When you open them again, you find Jack looking at you, concern written on his face. 

He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head, silently asking if you are okay to continue. You know that he would stop in a heartbeat if you wanted to, and the thought immediately makes you more comfortable. 

It warms your heart to think about how much of a gentleman Jack really is underneath that tough exterior, and how lucky you are to be able to experience this side of him.

“Start moving,” you tell him after the pain begins to dull. You watch his features relax as he pulls back out halfway before gliding back in. You appreciate how gentle he's being, at least until you can get used to the feeling of being stuffed so full.

“Your wish is my command, sweet pea,” he tells you, sending you a wink. The pain from earlier quickly turns to pleasure as Jack continues his gentle movements. You moan loudly as he hits something devastating inside you, spurring him on.

“Ah- fuck, Jack!” You scream his name as he begins to speed his movements up. You can feel every vein and ridge sliding on the walls of your soaked cunt. Already, tension begins building in your belly as he starts to ruthlessly pump his cock in and out of you.

The room is filled with both of your moans combined with the lewd squelching noises coming from where your bodies connect. It sounds like pure ecstasy. You can hear Jack's breath growing heavier with each thrust.

You decide as he lets out a whine that there is nothing sweeter than the sounds Jack Daniels makes when he's buried deep inside of you. His noises fuel you and you can hear your moans growing breathier as he pulls you closer to the edge.

You watch a bead of sweat slip down the side of Jack's forehead as he draws back until only the head of his cock is breaking you open. Before you get the chance to figure out what he's doing, he slams himself back into you.

You try to scream but find that all the breath had been knocked out of you with the force of his thrust. Tears of pleasure brim your eyes as he repeats his action, faster this time. 

Your arms slip under his own and you claw at his back as you get closer to release. You let out a moan as Jack grabs your thigh and throws one of your legs over his waist, allowing him to hit depths you didn't even think possible.

“Such a -fuck- such a sweet damn pussy d-darlin’,” Jack praises. You almost come right then and there.

“S-so good, Jack,” you say through a whimper as he continues his brutal pace. “Fuck!” You scream when he slams into a sweet spot. 

“M’ gon- gonna come, Jack,'' you tell him. He smirks and snakes a hand between your bodies to rub at your clit. There's no way you're going to last between the new position and the assult on your sensitive bud.

“Go ahead darlin’,” He tells you as he lowers his head to slot his lips between your own, locking you into a messy kiss. “Let go for me.” 

That's all it takes for you to fall apart underneath him. Your eyes roll back and you feel your legs turn to jello as you come on Jack's cock. He continues to whisper sweet praise into your ear as he works you through your climax.

You feel his movements grow sloppy and uncoordinated as you come down from your high. 

“S-Shit, honey,” Jack gasps, “not gonna last.”

He gives about another half dozen thrusts before he's asking you “Where?”.

You don't answer him, and instead lift your other leg to wrap around his waist, bringing him into you. You whimper at the thought of filling you up and it pushes him over the edge. He stills and you feel the gush of warm seed spread throughout your cunt. 

The moan he lets out is absolutely feral as he releases inside of you, making your toes curl. You squeeze around him, milking rope after rope of cum from his cock. You stare into each other’s eyes as you bring your arms up around his neck to pull him down to you again. 

You bring your lips against his, closing your eyes as you both share the gentlest and most intimate kiss of the night. He lowers his body to lay on top of yours, being careful not to put all of his weight on you as he pulls away from the kiss to position his head next to your ear. 

“Fuckin’ perfect darlin’,” he says gently. “Thank you.” 

You smile at the ceiling as you wrap your arms tight around him, holding him close. You both lay there for a few minutes as your bodies begin to relax, you slotting your fingers through his hair, and him whispering sweet praises into your ear. 

He leans up to brush his lips against yours one more time before grunting and pulling out of you. You grimace first at the loss and then at the feeling of your combined release leaking out of your worn cunt. Your attention is dragged away from the feeling when you hear Jack flick the bathroom light on. 

He is only gone for a second before he returns with a warm cloth, using it to swipe along your folds, cleaning you up. You wince as the fabric runs along your sensitive clit. “Sorry, darlin’,” he chuckles a quiet apology. You squint at him but when you make eye contact you can't help but giggle too. 

Smiling, Jack gets back up to dispose of the cloth before he comes back to bed and lays down beside you, pulling you into him so you can set one of your legs over his and place your head on his chest. You hum in delight as he starts to pepper feather light kisses into your hair. 

“Not so bad for an old man,” you tease him. You feel him smile against your hair as he breathes in your sweet scent.

“Hey now,” he says in the same teasing tone, “it's starting to sound like you didn't learn anything from your lesson.”

You laugh as you roll yourself over to straddle his hips. 

“Well,” you say as you look into his hooded eyes, “I've always said I learn my lessons better the second time around.” He smirks at you and grabs your hips, bearing you down to his already half-hard cock and you whimper quietly. 

“That can be arranged, sugar,” he tells you as he scoots back against the headboard. “This time we’ll see how well you can follow instructions.”

[pavusprince]

Six Song Soundtrack Game- Erellindra

Thank you for the tag, @mogruith. Even though I have a playlist for El, this was actually really hard. And I kept forgetting about it after I had my songs!! As Mog well knows.

TW abuse mention

Rules: If you're tagged(spoiler alert I'm not tagging anyone), make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following...

Event that defines your character's past:

Poor Marionette- Sarah Cothran

It must be nice To have the power How you control my tears, control my laughter I'm not surprised You used me well Expecting more of me than anyone else [...] You control thе way I feel and move There is no show I wouldn't do for you But a change of mood, a different scene You could cause me a bitter pain

Ella meets her first husband when shes 17(they don't marry until shes 27), and though she doesn't see it until much later, he's manipulating her from the start. Influencing and changing every bit of her so when the time comes Ella thinks it's her idea to sell herself. After he's gotten what he wants, a nice little 'cash cow', the mask comes off and at that point Ella is so isolated from everyone she knew she feels like she has no where to go. The next ~54 years are a hell she wouldn't wish on anyone.

How your character sees themselves:

Confidently Lost- Sabrina Claudio

Made up of hope and meditation Love, imagination Water my creations Baby, it's amazing All the days I'm facing Nothing seems to phase me 'Cause I am confidently lost I don't need you to find me 'Cause I'm not hiding Anything

Ella is at a point where she feels blessed to be alive. There were so many times she thought she would die that now every day is a gift to her. While prior to the game she had an eventual goal to track down her son, she was content to go where fate lead her and help those she could along the way. Not only that but she was under the thumb of her husband for so long she lost who she was before that and even 37 years later she feels as if she's learning about herself.

How others view them:

Always an Angel- Alexandria

Always the helper, never the helped Always the lover, never the loved Always the artist, never the art Always the fix when they fall apart Always the savior, never the saved

Anyone that actually bothers to try and know Ella quickly sees how she put others before herself. Some don't see the unhealthy level she takes it to and just know that she is a reliable person. The people closest to her, who know her past, know she's still valuing herself for what she does for others. Just in a different way. Even if she doesn't realize this herself.

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic):

Sunshine and Roses- EllaHarp

Ask me baby one more time And I'll tell you if I am doing fine As I try to live my life to the fullest If you ask me if I like the game Then I would answer just the same way Sometimes your water's wine And all the stars just can't be mine And it's not always sunshine and roses Sometimes the moon won't glow And only weeds will seem to grow And it's not always sunshine and roses

Ella's biggest issue is that she doesn't let herself lean on anyone. She has a listening ear, an encouraging word for everyone but when it comes to her she locks things away. The position of leader she finds herself in during the quest to deal with the tadpoles makes this worse. If she shows true vulnerability to her companions they'll lose faith in her, she can't have that.

That changes with Halsin. She can't pinpoint what it is, but he just feels safe. She can share her worries and fear without feeling like he'll think less of her. She shares everything with Halsin and once the weight of the Shadowcurse is off his shoulders he is the same with her.

A major fight scene:

Burn- 2WEI, Edda Hayes

I will not surrender I never learned to lose a fight I'm afraid I'll have to end ya now You better run or else I just might Don't need a knight to guard the cave Can't count the dragons that I've slayed You can give it all you got 'Cause, love is running through my veins This lion can't be tamed There's fire in my blood

Not much of a lore blurb for this, it was probably the hardest pick. When Ella fights it's serious business and she's scary, even more so if she's protecting someone not just herself.

Extra fitting with how I played her as a Light domain Cleric. Lot's of people charred in those fights.

End credits song:

Rescue- Lauren Daigle

You are not hidden There's never been a moment You were forgotten You are not hopeless Though you have been broken Your innocence stolen [...] There is no distance That cannot be covered Over and over You're not defenseless I'll be your shelter I'll be your armor

No matter how many adventures Ella goes on, even with all the love and kids that are in her future the next step, the final goal, is to help as many people find their freedom as she can before she takes that last breath. Whether it's from Lloth and the Underdark or just a bad situation. She may get better with the whole self-sacrificing thing but that doesn't change who she is on a fundamental level.

[writeandsurvive]

Well, @mandy426, you asked for it, so here you go. Hope you'll enjoy it! 🫣 Inspired by the picture below (because how could we not?)

Summary: Alden comes home one night in his undercover outfit

Warnings: nsfw, established relationship, wall sex, piv, unprotected sex, undercover!Alden, biker!Alden, kinky reader ig?,

Undercover ~ Alden Parker

Alden was very clear from the beginning; his job takes a lot but doesn't give much. You were okay with that as you'd have dealt with whatever, just to be with this man. You did underestimate how bad it could be though. The long hours, the physical and emotional exhaustion he deals with, the missions away from home, and more. There were definitely hard times, where you wish Alden had a boring 9 to 5 job, but you immediately felt guilty thinking this. He obviously loves being a federal agent, and you do admire him for it.

The worst was kissing him goodbye in the morning and not knowing if you'd see him again. But there's nothing you wouldn't do for this man, so you learned to deal with this fear and anxiety and make the best of the time you have with him.

Eventually, something new came up; Alden was going undercover. He didn't say much about it, just that he probably won't be home much, and if somehow you run into each other in town, pretend that you don't know him, unless he comes over to you. Honestly, you hoped this wouldn't happen.

He's been undercover for two weeks and you had barely seen or heard of him. It was hard, but luckily, his best friends Tobias and Jeremy have been giving you updates on Alden, they kept checking on you, spending evenings with you. Plus, you have a supportive family who's always there for you.

When you heard the sound of keys opening the door, you actually got scared for a second, forgetting that your partner had the keys and could come home whenever he could. You stood up from the couch to meet him at the door, but you stopped as soon as your eyes laid on him. It didn't look like your Alden at all.

"Honey, hey!" He rushed over to you and hugged you tight. "I can't stay long, but I'm missing you so bad."

You hugged him back, still quite puzzled. Your nose was buried in a leather jacket you've never seen before. Alden let go just enough to kiss you. "Are you alright?" He asked, stroking your cheeks and looking at you from head to toes. "Baby?"

"Are you undercover as a biker or a hipster?" You looked more at the leather jacket, the black hoodie under, the beanie on his head, the full beard - he only had the mustache since you met - the boots. You've never seen Alden dressed like this before, and you never imagined he would. But damn, did he look even hotter.

"Oh, yeah, um. Biker, actually. I know it doesn't look like me."

"Are you riding a bike?"

"Isn't what bikers do?" He chuckled. "Plus, I had my biker phase in my early twenties, so I'm not entirely new to this."

"Y-you did? How come you never told me? Or shown me pictures?" You exclaimed, sounding like you were upset.

He laughed a bit more, "I don't know, it never came up. My fam hated it."

"I don't care about your family! I wanted to know!"

Alden got closer to you again, putting a strand of hair behind your hair and softly brushing your skin that was turning pink. "Is this look turning you on, baby?" He whispered in a husky voice. He was smirking, clearly aware of the effect this was having on you. You were blushing even more and you swallowed thickly.

"Maybe." You whispered back.

Then he grinned as his hands traveled south, roaming over your breasts. He leaned over, pressing his forehead against yours. "Not necessarily what I had in mind, as I just needed to see you, but I'd be damned to deny you."

You were the one who reached for the heated kiss. His beard was probably hurting your skin but you couldn't care less. You stroked it before enjoying feeling the leather under your fingers. Alden made you walk backwards until you were pinned against the wall. His lips and tongue found that sweet spot in your neck, earning a loud moan from you. You wrapped a leg around him, his hands traveling under your - his - shirt to find you braless. He growled and played with your tits, still ravaging your neck, jaw and lips.

"Alden, I need you." You whimpered, rubbing yourself against the bulge in his jeans.

"I suppose I should keep the clothes on?" He chuckled, freeing his cock and giving it a few pumps.

"You better."

Alden got rid of your night shorts, and took advantage of dropping on his knees to kiss your intimate parts and gave a few licks on your clit. His beanie flew to the ground as you held onto his hair. The beard was giving more sensation than just the mustache.

"You taste so delicious." He got back to his feet, and held one of your legs up. "Ready for me, babygirl?"

"Yes, always! Fuck me, please!"

He didn't need to be asked twice and found the perfect angle to slip his length inside you. Both crying out, like you hadn't had sex in months. Alden gave you time to adjust before pumping in and out of you. "Fuck baby, you're taking me so good."

It wasn't romantic nor sweet, but rather rough and animalistic. You were trapped between his strong body and the wall, and loved every second of it. It wasn't long until you were cumming, shouting his name over and over again, holding onto his hair and the leather jacket. It was all he needed to cum deep inside you.

Feeling that his legs were pretty weak, Alden gently put you down and you felt his cum going down your inner thighs. "I need to sit," he said, taking the jacket off. You needed to sit too and luckily the couch wasn't far away. You grabbed your shorts and put them back on, not caring about the mess on you. "I'm an old man, you can't do this to me." He laughed, still trying to catch his breath.

"You can't do this to me!" You exclaimed, straddling his lap. "I hope there are no women around you."

"Don't worry about that." He reached for a meaningful kiss. "You're the only woman for me."

[windtraces]

i got mentally ill. heehoo. can't tag shit

so glad that i only wear sports bras. i bind usually and actually need to get a new one bc my old backup is too beat up and i hate the other. but bras are scary. my cup size? idk dd last i checked which was coincidentally before i came out as trans

my family is cool. kind of family where we don't talk about things but it suits me. i'm genuinely glad that the time dad asked "what are you even so fucking depressed that you cut yourself about?" and i said "I WAS RAPED!!!!" he hasn't said anything else about that. maybe he forgot. i don't want to talk about that

i mean i do kind of. but i can't. i can't even talk about the things i remember, let alone the things i forget, and it's easier and more fun to visit and hang out and do my laundry and play video games parallel play style with dad. i can try to talk about it somewhere else. here for example. i can't bring that back up to dad and stepmom when they have enough going on with cancer and chronic illness and i'm pretty much fine.

they are so fucking delicate with me and i appreciate it. i really do. because i can't take things the way i used to and the time dad got mad at me because i was a pussy about visiting grandma before she died. i get why he was mad, he has his own stuff, but i can't take him being mad. i get scared when he gets mad at the dogs and i think he notices too and i think he feels guilty which just makes it worse. he's trying so hard to be better. he is better. but i still just get scared

and he really wasn't that violent either, he only got physical a few times. and one time it was his fault entirely, i got home from work and he wanted to talk about something upsetting to both of us and i was tired after school and work and wanted to go to bed. but sometimes it was me too. i shouldn't have been drinking. he knows it's a slippery slope. he shouldn't have done what he did but i shouldn't have been drinking and even though he was wrong sometimes he wasn't completely wrong. me waking up while taking venlafaxine i may as well have been drunk anyways. it was bad. i mean dgmw, he fucked up, i still consider him an abuser, but he isn't abusive now, he's changed. he offered me a beer last month. he let me stay with him, he doesn't tell me to shut the fuck up when i ramble about things i like. he's better now and i am too. i'm not a teenager anymore i can regulate, and i help him with stuff and also his parents (my grandparents). i'm not useless.

even if i'm useless he still cares now that he learned how to care and how easy it is to break a kid. he recognizes when i get overwhelmed and helps by keeping things away from me. he loves me. he encourages things i like. he's better. he doesn't tell me to shut up. he explains things he likes too, and i like it, even if we don't do the same things we can talk.

i straight up forgot why i was originally rambling. i just want to transition. i wish i had the money, and i could probably ask for help but they've already helped me so much and i'm 25 so i should be able to do this. but

idek how it would go. they (dad and stepmom) already know that i pretty much only wear mens' clothes. i think it's best if i wait until mocky and pocky die. pocky would he really upset if he noticed. but he might not. idk. i'm so sick of waiting and so sick of being poor. i want testosterone i want top surgery. i think they'd be fine with it, as long as i didn't scare pocky and mocky, which i already bind all the time anyways and i think mocky knows but it just isn't talked about. grammy knows bc mom told her. that also isn't talked about

we don't talk about fucking anything and i'm too stupidly shy to talk about it. everyone probably thinks it was a phase

stepmom probably doesn't she got me a haircut. and mocky said i look better with short hair. but i'm scared. i don't want anyone to hate me and i don't want to cause stress. i want to go pull weeds once a week and organize closets and help mocky get groceries and carry and sort everything and everything i can to help them. and i want to help dad and stepmom too, i help how i can when i go. i want dad to keep teaching me about home repair stuff he learned. i don't want to lose them, i need them, and i don't want them to be mad even though they already know but they might get mad if it gets too real. i want to be fionn. i don't want to be lauren, i want stubble and a deep voice and a flat chest and to be called fionn, not lauren, and i barely take care of lauren but i like to think i'd take better care of fionn but i can't be fionn. FUCK

[asherlockstudy]

just a new fan of rhett and link coming through😄… i want you to know that i've become obsessed with reading you'r posts about them.. btw i think you can't watch and know their story and NOT ship them.. i'm sorry, i mean LOOK at them. every thing they've gone through together, all the changes.. but the only constant is them, together every step of the way….i just- agghhhhh it drives me crazy.

But anyway i was reading one of you'r posts where you said something about their cutest phase being arond 2013- 2014. you also talked about it with an anon a couple of days ago, so i had to share my thoghts on that. and i completely agree, going back and watching that period you can really see it. rhett was being so cute and giggly, all the time about anything link would say, and he could BERELY take his EYES off of link.. and the eye contact was wild… I just.. i love it so much😳 But do you think that same feelings is as strong today? I wonder.. some times i feel like now when they would get a bit.. intimate it's a bit… performative…idk i might be wrong.. i just loved the stoling glanses, soaked with love, that i feel like there were so many of them back then.. but please till me if you think i'm just reading the whole situation wrong😌..

Hello! I am glad you have been enjoying the posts!

I don't think you read the situation wrongly, in fact I believe you are totally correct. There are several potential reasons for this change however and I find perhaps all of them reasonable and normal.

Like I wrote in that post you mentioned, according to the theory 🤷🏻‍♀️ their affair must have started some time in 2014 or early 2015 at most. Their situation back then was critically different than it is now:

The time they really started being romantic was also the time they started getting shipped. Incidentally. Or maybe not. However they were still very new at this game at the time, both how to handle their audience and how to behave with each other under their new status were completely new tasks. They didn't have a good understanding of how they appeared to their viewers and they were completely oblivious to how obvious they were. This is why they were more candid in the past. Now they are painfully aware, especially Rhett, so much so that they even maximise various interactions in their minds. It was a lesson slowly learned and still not perfected - have you seen their constant look of horror every time they watch back episode favourites with Rhink moments every christmas?

Then it's also the natural flow of time. Back then everything was new to them. Their decades long friendship was becoming something new, something even more intense. They were exploring their sexualities anew in ways they were once determined not to, in ways that until then they considered sinful and damning. At the time there wasn't any thought of getting open about it (even now this is a challenge). All this was very fresh and even though Link seems to believe that they started hopelessly late, let's not forget that at the time they were still young men at their mid thirties and given all the emotional, circumstantial and physical parameters the excitement and passion they felt must have been on the extremes. They once had a moment between them on GMM when Rhett said "You know how early in the relationship you behave like rabbits?" and Link agreed with a knowing look. This is also supported by their scripted videos; Link says in Digging A Hole that the reason they failed so bad at making a medium sized hole was that they succeeded so much at digging that they made a huge one instead. In short, these years and the ones to come up to 2019-2020 they were at their sex crazed phase, which is typical of most couples at first, let alone them who are way beyond your average couple in love.

If you notice, they are indeed sweet and soft in late 2013 till early 2016 and then from 2016 to 2021 they are straight out horny. I mean, they are always both but at first sweetness was more overpowering and then it was the horniness. This is also explained in their lore as their sexual affair went through a lot of trial and error, so you can see when sex started getting awesome and also when they finally could start setting aside their inhibitions, guilt (especially Link) and religious concerns and enjoy more unapologetically each other.

From 2020-2021 onwards, since the purchase of the creative house, I believe we have entered a new era, more mature, more contained. Things change; they are in their mid forties now, they have been together for quite a bit and also they have decided to come out, which casts the shadow of fear and severe anxiety in their relationship. Furthermore, they are not exactly on the same page (Rhett wouldn't mind not ever coming out had it not been for Link) and this wears them down and their interactions. All the fear of the future and the unknown must consume a considerable amount of their private time together. Age, getting used to each other and critical challenges are what makes them appear less lovestruck than they used to. They still do though, much more than your average 45 year old in a relationship does. I mean, it was only a year ago when Link sexily said he would FIGURATIVELY feed Rhett with words for a word game and Rhett stupidly opened his mouth to actually swallow the plastic piece with the word that Link was holding, like the proper solitary horny braincell that he is. It's just that such unbelievable levels of thoughtless horniness and love have become more sparse now that they have aged a bit and have a better understanding of how they are perceived publically. But I am happily firm in my belief that they remain extraordinarily ridiculous.

On the other hand, sometimes when they do something gay, it indeed is performative at this point. Maybe even most of the times. This is because of what they are planning to do, this has killed the spontaneity between them a great deal. Now it's more likely that they will consciously throw hints here and there than that they will slip badly due to their excessive romantic enthusiasm.

[abcwordsurge]

so! I just finished with the 1st draft of my Houston / Miami / New Orleans story that I'm writing for @kaz-playz (yes I'm still working on it, even after all these months, it's long and I'm slow, sorry, but I promise I'll get it to you someday)

I usually only edit my stories before posting, but I want nothing but the best for Kaz, so I'll probably do a full rewrite of this one. in the meantime, allow me to share with you some hcs for the trio that I stumbled across while writing the first draft

Miami:

I've already talked about this, but just to establish a baseline, I hc Miami as pan, and using they/she pronouns

they're the biggest flirt ever, of course

they're light sensitive, and I think I've said this before, but just in case those in the back missed it: she wears her sunglasses (a gift from New Orleans) almost everywhere, and can't stand fluorescent lighting

they love the beach and cruises of course (cruise capital of the world, you know)

naturally quite pale, but you wouldn't know it- they're always tanned from so much time in the sun because she forgets sunscreen way too often :( (unless Nora and/or Houston are there to remind her)

she likes to go diving to explore the shipwrecks (but can't convince Nora to go with her)

shockingly, they're a Shakespeare fan. this isn't based on anything except, uh, plot convenience, and I like Shakespeare, so shut up /lh. (also she's a huge believer in "Shakespeare should be watched, not read")

Nora (New Orleans):

she/her, bi

literally the most gorgeous girl you will ever meet

not very flirty, but very kind, and there is often confusion regarding whether she's flirting or just, y'know, being a decent person

notably, has a realistic impression of how serious problems are (Miami has a tendency to be too mellow and not realize that something is a problem, while Houston is prone to dramatics- but not Nora, Nora's ~reasonable~)

not opposed to breaking the rules, and doesn't seem to respect authority figures very much (they're just people, after all, who are they to order her around?)

plays clarinet at a low-key jazz club, and is quite proud of it

very good at poker (Las Vegas is her frenemy)

she practices Vodouism (which, admittedly, I don't know too much about, so I'm hesitant to write a lot about it- I don't want to accidentally resort to stereotypes, y'know?- but it stands to reason that she would)

and finally, the star of the show, our girl!

Houston:

she/her, raging lesbian

very prideful and stubborn, and a lot of people find her attitude "disagreeable," but her confidence and passion is actually quite endearing

gets bored easily, especially during meetings, and starts drama for fun

she thinks she's socially awkward because she has a hard time figuring out what people want from her, but most people don't notice when she feels awkward

also has sensory issues, though she mostly combats hers with being very particular about the clothes she wears, and avoiding crowds

had a bit of a sheltered childhood (cough Texas cough) but part of her rebellious phase was learning more about other cultures and people with different experiences from hers

she's found her place in the LGBTQ+ community (as the L) and likes to throw it in Texas's face during arguments (even though he has technically "accepted" her, he isn't exactly thrilled about it, and she knows it)

admittedly, she doesn't know much about polyamorous relationships (at least, at the start of my story *wink wink*)

so that's what I've got for now. to hold y'all over till I finish up the real story. have a good day :3

[tamelee]

Hii, when are you uploading your next art? It's been like ages lol. Also how's your progress on manga going? And can you suggest some other artists you know, artists like you? Since you also started from 0 followers at some point and your progress on your art is also very inspiring and i guess you know many different artists. I'm searching for inspiration and looking for some Low key artists from other fandoms. I'm slowing trying to improve on my digital painting skills. Still at level 1. Who do you look up to for your inspiration? Sorry, this became a pretty big ask hehe.

Hi~ 💕

Ages? Yeah, ... a little over a month now. I know that because I keep track on it. I pretty much keep track on most things. I do this thing where I plan a few weeks ahead and it is supposed to make sure I have more time left because of the planning but it doesn't account for roadblocks such as wrist pain, technical issues with tablets etc-, mental states, stress, health declines or others. So.. I haven't uploaded anything in a while but I never stopped creating ^^! In fact, I'm learning every single day so that I can create more, "better" (subjective) and build a skill-set that will help me be able to make what I want. I felt like I was making art aimlessly, but having a goal helps. Though, by chance, since you're wondering- this week for sure!

And within that planning is of course the Manga! The process is a lot of fun, but also there is science behind Storytelling and I'm using what I know and learning during my graduation process as well in order to create it. That's why I didn't start drawing until I am completely happy with the story (...and now don't mind so much that my previous draft got lost even thought that was so painful lol). I was so ignorant about it though, thinking I could just... create a Manga. Like c'mon. I knew so much time and dedication went into it and yet I thought I could just... do it 😆 but also, it is this dedication that made me able to do most crazy things in life so why not. If I'm going to spend idk how many hours on this then it better matter to me. I don't want Naruto and Sasuke to just drown in some plot, I want them to actively pursue something they care about and struggle, have dark moments and conflicts... heh.

When I first started drawing.. surprisingly I didn't have that many inspirations. I had no clue what I was doing and so what inspired me was the little art-community around me on Instagram because our goals were similar. My goal to finish Inktober, a wish to "someday create a webtoon" and seeing artists around me upload their art was what inspired me. Then, talking about art, each other's uploads, our obsessions- it was all a lot of fun and helped me improve and so did they! Of course you don't have to go there, you can find artists at any stage of their journey anywhere but really try to find artists and art that you like because your style will grow from that and eventually become your own.

I guess a few artists really stood out to me then, but they're literal gods and nothing like me 🥹..they're; wlop, Z ed, Ruan Jia, Zeen Chin, Guweiz and Dao Tong Le. I had a splash art phase where I fangirl'd (still do) so hard over Bo Chen, Sean Tay, Alex Flores, Cheng Du (crow god), Foritis Wang, but there's also Paul Nong, Ley Bowen, Inhyuk Lee... and for storytelling art there's Kan Liu which art I love and Toni Infante and ooooh Astri Lohne's brushwork is amazing as well. Song Nan Li has a few artworks that I've stared at for days and would love to study someday. Jaz Chiang too. Krenz Cushart has a course that I want to purchase because those colors are sublime... and oh, I'm probably forgetting SO MANY right now but I could go on forever tbh. Lemme talk about artists and their art and I won't be able to stop. There have been many Instagram artists that I've followed but I'm not currently active on there until I graduate so I don't really remember but if you're looking for Twitter/SNS/Naruto specifically then you can look through my following-list or my reblog account here @re-tamelee. Nsfw-warning on Twitter (@ tam_e_lee) though. I think currently a few that inspire me regarding story/expression are helenpeanut, velinxi, Kishimoto, Ramón Nuñez, Moryo, Ryo Yambe, Rias Coast, Yusuke Matsumoto, Bengal, Hong Soonsang, Horikoshi- and still a few others... I'm not sure what you mean by 'low-key' or if this is not what you're looking for but I hope you can find some inspiration from this post and have fun looking at these amazing artists' art! ^^ Thankyou for your lovely ask, have a nice day 🌷 Happy drawing!

[attentivearchive]

I Accidentally Learned to Leverage ADHD by Keeping a Grimoire

Looking for a TL;DR? Scroll on down, it's at the bottom.

Okay, yes, I play Dungeons and Dragons and I'm in my thirties.

Now that that's out of the way, in early 2024 I was working on creating a new character for an upcoming game. The previous campaign had been set in space, with the vibe falling somewhere between cyberpunk and steampunk, and— while it was objectively really cool to play a hot space elf who could transform into a body of stars— I was honestly looking forward to diving back into a more typical fantasy-based setting in the next one.

Strangely, the inspiration for this character came from my favorite focus tool, Stimagz, small stick-shaped magnets used to create soothing repetitive patterns. My favorites at the time were a set that glowed in the dark, but under normal light were a slightly translucent white, somewhat reminiscent of bone. Macabre, I know, but hear me out: I was going to be using them during the game anyway, and I thought it might be fun to make up a simple fortune-telling bone-casting mechanic for a witch character.

I'm sure you'll be just as shocked as I was to learn that there isn't a built-in character template for creating a witch in D&D, so I started researching how other players had "home-brewed" their own.

I usually love the research and creative process phase of putting a character together, and this was no exception. I found myself watching YouTube videos on "witch-builds" and reading seemingly-ancient articles on charm-casting (bone-casting's less-serious cousin uses any collection of tiny objects, not just bones), and somewhere along the way I stumbled across the greatest concept I'd seen in a long time: the grimoire.

In the broadest sense, a grimoire is a comprehensive and often historical book of magic. An instructive collection of spells, rituals, techniques, and practices curated and passed down from one practitioner or coven to the next.

This concept clicked into my life like a puzzle piece, filling a gap I hadn't seen, but felt.

You see, I had received a positive diagnosis for ADHD between Thanksgiving and Christmas the previous year (which itself had been an unspeakably validating puzzle piece) and, in the early stages of treatment, I was already recognizing a constellation of patterns that had played out over my entire life.

Diagnosis gave me the language I needed to educate myself about the way my brain worked. So, armed with the correct terminology, I soon learned that— while certainly unique— I was not alone. I found belonging in the ADHD community with surprising immediacy, where no one made me feel eccentric for having several apps for everything , including to keep from getting so focused on a task that I'd forget to eat (or pee) until I was in dire straights. In fact, I was met with open arms and a cheery refrain of "one of us, one of us..."

Something I've heard frequently since, and do believe strongly, is "If you know one person with ADHD, you know one person with ADHD", we're as different from one another as we are from the Normies. That said, we're often trying to solve similar struggles, even though effective solutions usually look different from person to person.

Treatment, education, and reflection have helped me zoom out far enough to gain the perspective necessary to observe that this leads to a community of people who are individually searching for a single Capital-S Solution. A one-size-fits-all fixer of a to-do list or strategy or app or book or philosophy or mindset or habit tracker or journal or AI-powered-auto-tagging-VR-thought-sorting-second-brain that costs an arm and a leg if you want it to sync between your phone and computer but it's worth it because, after a lifetime of being both too much and not enough, it's finally The Solution™. The One Thing™ that will finally Fix You™.

At the same time I realized there is no one right way. Even non-ADHD folks struggle to stick with a once-and-for-all strategy. But the breakthrough for me was in realizing that's okay. It allowed me to see through the illusion of failure and give myself permission to use what works.

A history of designing processes and routines, nerding-out about organization, and creating systems had taught me to save any resources that might be useful. So, all along I had been instinctively compiling a simple list of Things That Worked and Things to Try, with quick descriptions of what-for and why. My original intention for this list had been to find the pattern that would show me why they had stopped working, but I noticed something else instead: Whenever a breakdown, bottleneck, or Big Change™ appeared, I would swap in new (or old) components until something fit again.

All along I had been building my Grimoire.

If you're late-diagnosed like me, you likely have plenty of systems of your own. Systems are how we made it so far before we realized most people don't have to work that hard at "normal" things, and I mean this in both the personal and societal sense— with bonus points for societal if you're female-shaped (But that's a tangent for another day). Always putting your PKW (phone, keys, wallet) in designated areas is a system, writing things down is a system, setting multiple reminders is a system, having a hamper with multiple compartments for your laundry so you can sort clothes as they come off of your body is a system, having socks that are all identical so you don't have to pair them is a system (can you tell I really hate laundry?), the list is endless.

The Grimoire gave me a framework for the cyclical nature of my systems. I set out to build it with intention, and that's when I realized how much advertising and marketing in the productivity industry was targeted toward the neurodivergent community —peddling the myth of The Solution™.

This realization led me to formalize my process and share my list, and I'm really glad I did. The feedback I received in the very niche community where it originated inspired me to keep going, and ultimately empowered me to be writing this article.

I have spent my life wishing I knew how to use my creative voice to help others, and it took the synthesis of two seemingly unrelated things I never could have imagined putting together to show me how that might be possible. How I could use so many of the things that make me who I am to show members of my community how they might leverage their own unique qualities to thrive right where they are.

Let me encourage you to keep going with the knowledge that you are never alone, keep returning to what works with openness and intention, and keep experimenting with mindfulness as you build your own grimoire.

I'll be here to help you every step of the way.

****

✂️ TL;DR

Author with late-diagnosed ADHD realized their various "systems" for managing life are like a personal grimoire (the magical version of a playbook). They critique the productivity industry's focus on singular, usually costly, solutions for neurodivergent individuals and advocate for embracing a flexible, self-curated collection of strategies that work for you.

[spacestationstorybook]

this is mostly for me but i had fun with it.

(today edit: this has been in my drafts for a long time because i felt like no one would care about it other than me but before i go on break from this blog or whatever i'm gonna post it in case anyone does want to see it lmao. a bunch of notes on each individual phase under the cut)

faraday ascends!: in my head, happens about 7 or 8 years after they moved to the grove. after they quit their graduate program, as a way to categorize their thoughts and keep themselves busy they start keeping journals regarding various aspects of life there, stuff they're learning about or want to learn about, and their personal thoughts on life (these get published some time post-ascension, with some help and encouragement from‏‏‎ ‎click‏‏‎ ‎clack.‏‏‎) despite the amount of time that's passed, they're still very much getting used to godhood when hector shows up.

hector arrives: with‏‏‎ ‎bizzyboys‏‏‎ ‎in‏‏‎ ‎tow,‏‏‎ ‎of course. despite being very young for an aspiring god and less established in the community than most gods of the past, his reputation as a leader and his helpful nature endears him to most. on hector's part, he falls for faraday allllmost right away. he's somewhat awestruck by all the gods, but they feel the most human, the most connected to their previous mortal existence, and thus that little bit more approachable...though they're still a god, and you never quite forget it. he probably tries to hide the crush at least at first but he is not very good at it. as mentioned...faraday is Not used to the attention. it's a very new experience for them. but...not a bad one.

hector ascends: hi spekta :) faraday probably offers to show him the ropes a little bit like‏‏‎ ‎cobi‏‏‎ ‎did‏‏‎ ‎for them and along the way starts...Feeling. Things.

dating start: honestly if i could i'd make the mutual pining phase even longer because i love when they're lame and sappy and trying to pretend they're not but i wanted them to be together for as much of the spek era as i could. i don't think they'd ever confirm they're together for like. the public as a whole because that would freak faraday out a lot and i think‏‏‎ ‎spek‏‏‎ ‎as a newbie god would worry about people seeing him as just an extension of faraday but those who are close to them in any way (so the gods‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎spek's‏‏‎ ‎trusted‏‏‎ ‎bizzies.‏‏‎ ‎and maybe a few of faraday's acolytes?) know. most of the content i make falls within this phase. happy sappy oopy goopy.

king arrives: it's not Bad for a while. i imagine they were even friends for a little bit (it's implied‏‏‎ ‎king‏‏‎ ‎used to look up to hector‏‏‎ ‎which is something that Really Fucks Me Up). when talk starts about promoting her to godhood, when she seems to integrate herself more effortlessly than he ever did...that's when it starts to get to him. with faraday in the picture it probably still takes a While for him to backslide but something starts brewing. slowly.

more lighthearted bit from discord:

breakup: the sads :( faraday notices spekta‏‏‎ ‎withdrawing‏‏‎ ‎and tries to get through to him but he's resistant in confronting the actual issue. things come to a head, they argue, both of them say things they deeply regret later and part on bad terms. spek‏‏‎ ‎officially decides to move forward with his plan. faraday is consumed with guilt about this for a long time afterwards, wondering if they should have tried harder to get to the root of his problems, if they abandoned him when he needed them most. they talk through all this stuff when they get back together but it's hard for a while. (even if faraday‏‏‎ ‎had stayed with him his resentment of the other gods and king especially would have still been a problem. it may have gone from "me against the world" to "me and faraday against the world" but something would have had to change regardless.)

canon: It's Da Game. but faraday is there! you can find them‏‏‎ ‎outside‏‏‎ ‎of‏‏‎ ‎buzzhuzz.‏‏‎ ‎they're going through a lot. i might try writing some dialogue for meeting them in-game and what their responses to different speech bubbles would be sometime.

hector de-ascends: talked a lot about the essentials here. they've got a lot to work through but really out of everyone‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎inspekta‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎wronged‏‏‎ ‎faraday was one of the Least bad. neither of them would feel comfortable jumping back into it immediately though. he's got to make amends and they've got to deal with their own stuff (seen above). they're not Better once they got back together but it's obvious they missed each other a lot. at some point before hector knows for sure if he's going to reascend or not they get married. it's not very formal or very well-attended but they don't mind.

hector re-ascends: i haven't thought a Lot about this period of time but since it's mostly my happy ending wish fulfillment i mostly go with what makes me happy. (also: capo‏‏‎ ‎tells faraday to take good care of him as hector goes through the rift a second time. idk if this counts as what makes me happy considering it makes me tear up but it's important to me.) he goes‏‏‎ ‎by‏‏‎ ‎inspekta‏‏‎ ‎again,‏‏‎ ‎but the other gods can call him‏‏‎ ‎hector‏‏‎ ‎as a term of endearment sometimes.‏‏‎ ‎really it's mostly faraday‏‏‎ ‎and sometimes‏‏‎ ‎miss‏‏‎ ‎m.‏‏‎ ‎he's the god of forgiveness and redemption...and leadership again but it's less of a priority. a little bit less stretchy and cartoony, a little more serious, but still kewt. (i like to imagine faraday asking him to say adorable for them and he messes up again and they start sob-giggling.) he has an actual body under his coat! no more unlimited hands. maybe two extras he can manifest at will but that's his limit. he can stretch and coil a little (juuuuust enough to curl up comfy around faraday) but not as much as he used to. he's a lot more toned down, in general. but faraday still loves him. and they always always will. and he will love them, for as long as they'll have him. forever, or close enough.

AGAIN. MOSTLY THIS IS FOR ME LMAO. BUT IF YOU READ ALL THIS. THANKS <3

[summonerluna]

For the fanfic writer ask, I'll go with my date of birthday: 2, 11, 80 🥰

2. Talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said "fuck your plan, here's what we're actually doing."

Fifteen Minutes Old. It was supposed to be about Squall trying to learn more about sorceresses and learning that he didn't need all the answers to be supportive, and the pregnancy scare thing was going to be a brief note that just led to more research. I had zero interest in ever writing them as being parents and it wasn't what I saw for my post-game headcanon. Instead Rinoa decided she was GOING to be a mom, dammit, no matter how hard the journey to get there was, and it led to a follow up longfic and the creation of two characters who went on to live in an original novel because they just demanded to exist.

11. What's something neat you've learned while doing research for something you were writing? Also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

On the "I promise I'm a writer and not Planning Crimes" line of things, I did a lot of research into neurotoxins while working on The Successor, specifically tetrodotoxin. I don't remember all the science about it anymore but it was cool to learn. Same with drowning and hypothermia and what the human body can actually survive. Recently I've learned more about the actual process of knighthood; who even would typically be considered, the training (having to run/ride/climb/SWIM in full armor was part of it), education, and social status. LoZ plays VERY fast and loose with the actual history of knighthood, if anyone was wondering.

I care VERY much about research while writing. I have had to train myself to leave placeholders while writing with a note of what to come back and research later, or else I will end up in a rabbit hole with absolutely zero words written but I'll know a lot more about George Washington's favorite bible verses. (True, recent story.) While working on The Successor I kept a tab open for moon phases and tide tables. I'm not going to promise I didn't miss something, or swap a scene around in editing and forget to correct for it, but for the most part the moon phases should correspond exactly to the passage of time, and the tides should line up to whatever month I decided to base things on (October, I think), based on the Bogue Banks tide chart. I'm a nerd, I love this shit.

80. Do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc... in your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

Yes, but not intentionally. At least not at first. When I start a new project I get an idea and see where it takes me. If you look across my writing in general, there are a lot of themes of grief, loneliness, and motherhood, and there's no real reason for that other than they are extremely personal subjects for me so it makes sense I explore my own feelings about them in writing. If I notice I have unintentionally started adding something though I will pay more attention to it, start doing research, and make notes so when I am editing I can look for consistency. The zelink longfic I'm working on right now for instance, I realized I multiple times referenced birdsong as background noise so I started paying more attention to when, and looking up what the birds I had mentioned symbolized and looking for other ways I could maybe incorporate birds. A friend did point out to me once that I am constantly coming back to the idea of choice in my writing, which I didn't even realize I did. So I guess in terms of themes or morals I do place a lot of value on my characters having freedom to make their own choices--or trying to gain that freedom if they don't already have it. I also mention the moon a LOT, so that's a motif I suppose. I use it to denote the passing of time, and probably lean a lot into the moon as having yin energy since a lot of my storytelling is more internal and about the place and characters, than it is the yang energy of plot and action.

These are REALLY thoughtful asks! I would love to get more, and to see more of y'all reblog that post so I can see your answers!

[misshappilyfading]

a long, totally non-psychotic, mini(?) rant about the beatles that's too long and embarrassing for twt

okay so i've recently come out of a SECOND months-long stint of...kim heechul/suju stuff and it's left me kinda...lacking something to fixate on. so rn my temp fix is...the beatles?? and like i've liked their music since i was a little kid, but i haven't had an extended phase of listening to their music since like..10th grade? so this is kinda weird and embarrassing to me but whatever, here are some of my favorite songs by them and why in no particular order!

twist and shout - highlight here besides the gen early 60s feel and 100% john's vocals. there's something really refreshing(?) and youthful about the way he yells the entire song. and ofc the "woooo"s + head shakes are so cute

she loves you - yeah yeah yeah

paperback writer - idk it's a classic

day tripper - idk it's a classic + the fucking GUITAR RIFF

can't buy me love - idk it's a classic. earworm

a hard day's night - idk IT'S A CLASSIC

i feel fine - the pep. the harmonies. im in love with her and i feel fine

eight days a week - sweet song. makes you feel good

i'm a loser - that first harmony just snatches you in. idc. i get it i love it

help! - the 2nd song i consciously knew was by the beatles and i liked it loads more than "i wanna hold your haaaaaaand". i like the bridge the most

yellow submarine - it's in my range and probably by 2nd favorite ringo song? and it's silly

taxman - shit slaps. one of my fav harrison songs. "yeaaaaahhhh the taxmaaaan" is up there for me

here, there, and everywhere - i cried. hard. twice. i tear up thinking about this song. idk how you can go through life normally knowing paul mccartney wrote this about you

i'm only sleeping - hear this for the first time recently and it reminded me of sleeping sun by coldplay and some popular US songs from the 90s...

good day sunshine - lol another i heard in a CM at some point but did not know it was the beatles...it's happy i like it

and your bird can sing - but you don't get me. but you don't get. meeeeee. i can't believe john hate this?? it's so good??? the fucking guitars like???

hello, goodbye - first heard this in the 2007 target commercial. loved it ever since. i really like all of it but the "she says why and i say i don't know" and "why why whywhywhywhy do you say goodbye goodbyeeeeeebyebyebyebye" are stand out parts to me!

back in the ussr - fun : )

glass onion - that fucking recorder towards the end. amazing

blackbird - one of those songs you hear so randomly just..around that you forget/don't know it's the beatles

while my guitar gently weeps - liked this one as a kid when i was feeling emo lololol. good song though : )

[faves from rubber soul, sgt pepper's, and abbey road get their own section (bc these are the only albums i've listened to all the way through...)]

songs that i don't really like but are meaningful in some way

i want to hold your hand - probably the first beatles song i ever heard? or at least consciously knew was by the beatles. bc my kindergarten music teacher made us learn the lyrics and sing it in class

eleanor rigby - ik this is a popular song but the first time i heard it was when my 3rd grade teacher played it backwards to show us how the beatles were connected to the illuminati and devil worship so. i still feel uneasy whenever i hear it. can't sit through the whole song :(

do you want to know a secret - okay i actually don't dislike this song, it's just that i listened to it so much during like 8th/9th grade that im tired of hearing it. still a good song though

yesterday - again it's not that i hate it or anything but lol it's overplayed. meaningful bc it's one of those songs you know at least a few words to even if you haven't heard the whole thing (which i have. too many times.)

all you need is love - not bad but a commercial song in my mind

i am the walrus - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now. coo-coo-kachoo

strawberry fields forever - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now

happiness is a warm gun - super mixed feelings. is it about heroin? sex with yoko ono? are one of those options actually better than the other??? but i fuck with the ending "happinessssss bang bang shoog shoog"

get back/don't let me know/let it be - mixed feelings so i have to be in a specific mood to listen to these

rubber soul (favorites in bold)

drive my car - not my favorite but i loooove the "beep beep beep beep yeah"

norwegian wood - one of the one's i did not listen to as child but as of literally yesterday, i love it. wish it were not inspired by affairs but. like damn the sitar. the general vibes. isn't it good? norwegian wood

you won't see me - i like it. for years i had only heard the chorus so the actual song was a bit different than i'd expected but it's good. "you refuse to even listeeeeen" i like. also the gradual tempo shift!! oooooooo lalala

nowhere man - WOW. okay so when i was little and heard a snippet of the chorus, i had 0 interest in listening to the full song. yesterday, though, that fucking intro caught me so off guard. the slight beachy vibes. paul calling this an "anti-john song" like wow. it's just a 10/10 laaaaaaaalalalalala

think for yourself - rock band trailers fucked this up for me a bit bc i always expect it to lead into the wait chorus. the actual chorus fucks though. i like it

the word - she's silly. she's 60s. she's pop. not my favorite, but those harmonies on "so fine" and "sunshine". man

michelle - loved this since i was 10. it's calming, it fucks. i don't fuck with french but. "until i do im hoping you will know what i mean" and "I LOVE YOUUUUUU" and the guitar solo. the fucking tempo shift

what goes on - ...country. hear fairly often as a kid though but didn't know it was beatles

girl - another one i had no interest in (and was slightly scared of) as a kid based on the chorus but oof. love the comparison between this and michelle. we live for europeans being european in different flavors. also this songs feels like drugs. could be hallucinating but it feels like there's a sliiiight tempo shift here too? or at least it feels like it slows juuuust a bit

i'm looking through you - arguably my favorite beatles song as a child. had me in a chokehold in 2009. "why why tell me why did you not treat me right?" "your lips are moving i cannot heard your voice is soothing but the words aren't clear"

in my life - much much more appreciated now that im older. didn't listen to this much when i was little but i've always always loved the riff and ending. maybe one of my favorite song endings ever

wait - something is kinda catchy about it. idk

if i needed someone - 60s feel. the harmonies are so nice. this is like an honorable mention for me

run for your life - ah nothing like references to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) shame the chorus is so catchy

sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band

splhcb - yes. billyyyyyyyy shearsssssssssss

with a little help from my friends - YES. probably my favorite ringo song "do you neeeeeeeed anybody?"

lsd - not my favorite. drugs are bad. however i listened to this once when i was extremely drunk (i don't do any other drugs so) and i kinda got it? still not my favorite though

getting better - ah nothing like reference to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) paul is cute "me hiding me head in the sand" i really like this song but jesus john. i just it's better to admit and ask for forgiveness but. lord. but yeah this is a song that like...jabs you musically from the outset

fixing a hole - actually obsessed. this slaps, it fucks, it calms you down, hypes you up. im right where i belonggggg. that fucking guitar solo

she's leaving home - had only heard a bit of the chorus as a kid. was NOT expecting the entire song to sound how it does. cried on one listen. very beautiful

being for the benefit of mr. kite - the thing i like the most about this is the title

within you within out - ummm couldn't make it through the whole thing. christian upbringing means it gives me hives a little

when i'm sixty four - i liked it as a kid, i like it now. i will always be a supporter of paul's granny shit. it's cute. honorable mention for me

lovely rita - words cannot express how much i like this song. i liked it as a kid, i LOVE it now. the harmonies on "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD aaaaaahhhhhhhh" also paul sound so british the entire time. "luvely rita mitah maid" "little white buke" "made her luke a little like a militry man" "may i inquire discRReetly when are you free to take some tea with MEEEE" it's a time. it's cute, a bit silly, and at the end you get sex! the bassline, the piano, the mouth chkchckchk, the fucking kazoo, i love it. Rita!

good morning good morning - another song i swear i've heard a bit of in a commercial or radio but i can't remember when/where. kinda makes me sad that john ended up not liking it, cause i like it. i get it. plus it sounds like morning.

splhcb reprise - i love it

a day in the life - scared me as a child but even then it kept it's alluring quality to me. not my absolute favorite, but i understand why some ppl regard it to be their best song

abbey road

come together - idk what to say. this is iconic music

something - heard for the first time yesterday and WOW. again idk what to say. shit is GOOD. song that makes you shut up

maxwell's silver hammer - ...i've loved this since 2009. and recording began on my birthday so it's always felt kinda special to me. ik she has haters but im glad paul made it. i live on corn. but also putting this right after something was a set up mayhaps

oh! darling - this FUCKS. don't think i have to say anything else. used to scare me a bit as a kid but i still listened

octopus's garden - def heard as a kid pre-2009 but idk where. not my fav but feels nostalgic

i want you (she's so heavy) - hm...i appreciate this as a piece of music although it's not my personal favorite. like i can its importance to the genre while still skipping. the outro is fucking insane though. and the scream

here comes the sun - do i even have to say anything? beyond "thank you parent trap soundtrack" probably the 3rd beatles song i'd ever heard

because - not a favorite but i like it

medley - you never give me your money will ALWAYS take me back to summer 2019 where i saw the opening lyrics as a metaphor for my own financial issues and depression. wild shit. sun king is like a peak 7pm summer song. love it. another song that makes you shut up. mean mr. mustard and polythene pam i've always loved since i was 10. they're fun to me. the bassline in mmm fucks hard. yeahhhh yeah yeah. in she came in through the bathroom window i like "sunday's on the phone to monday. tuesday's on the phone to me". golden slumbers i like less but i like the quiet parts and how it leads into carry that weight. one of the few times i want paul to not yell. carry that weight feels like the ending of a movie + the link back to yngmym. then you get to the end. which is just. wow. how many other groups can say they've ended their career on something like that? paul yelling, the solos, "love you love you"

and in the end, the love you take

is equal to the love you make.

(jk ik her majesty's a pretty nice girl. i also view this more as an easter egg but i do like it for a personal reason)

[shyames]

We see what we want to see

Who doesn't love Céline? I don't trust you if you say you don't. Because let's face it - you do!

With this one, it's a lot of mixed feelings for me. Firstly, can't believe this came out when I was 2 years old. How is this even possible?

I remember listening to this album on a cassette tape (yes, there was this thing before CDs) that I stole from my mom. My brother hated me, because we were sharing a room and I started my phase of going to sleep while listening to music. And, of course, for the most time it was Céline. Unfortunately, I listened to the tape too much, and it wore down with time. But by then the technological advances caught up with my dad, and we were up to speed with the world to download the songs from the Internet.

As a teen, did I truly understand the song? No. I didn't even understand English that well back then. But sometimes I don't think I understand it even now. It's a powerful song that initially caught my heart with the piano - let's face it, the piano here is marvellous - and then Céline's voice. And as I grew older, of course all your teenage relationships are the greatest love of all and call for the cries to this amazing ballad.

Fast-forward a few years and here come my 20s with my "delulu" brain. Of course, I can relate to some parts more than others, but also can see some of my favourite books, movies and TV shows mirrored in both the music and the words. Plus wine - a glass of wine with this song? Oh boy, good thing I live alone.

The most important though are the quotes I take with me everywhere now, they are always somewhere back in my head:

"we see what we want to see" - it's true on so many levels, throughout all our lives, not only in regard to love but any emotion we have, any action we take

"We forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me now" - and we do, don't we? When I think about my high school years, I don't remain in touch with anyone because I was hurt, and I'm sure others felt hurt by some of my actions. But when I reminisce about the good times, recalling stories from my teenage years, am I still mad, do I remember what was the reason for the animosity? Not really, not always. They became part of who I am now, part of how I got here.

"I finished crying in the instant that you left, and I can't remember where or when or how, and I banished every memory you and I had ever made" - and I did, I cried when hurt, but eventually got up and moved forwards. Sometimes it took longer, sometimes it took just a moment. Do I remember each and every situation I resented, each and every time I was left out, a relationship ended, and I was alone again? No. I know the feelings, I learned something each time (maybe not at that second, but you know, it takes a while to admit your own mistakes). But when truly hurt by someone else at some point you have to forget, or it will haunt you the rest of your life. I'm still learning to do so but getting there.

So is Céline the queen? Yes, of course she is. Is this only about love? NO. It's all about life but most importantly, as with each and every song or music piece - it's about what you need at the moment. Listening closely and taking the sounds in.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Hii I was wondering if you could do some bill x s/o with adhd? No pressure!! Love all your works xx

(Hello! So sorry for the wait and I tried my best to do research for ADHD bc I don't have it, as far as I'm concerned, but ty for requesting and enjoy!)

Bill Kaulitz x ADHD!Reader

He can be a bit surprised on how hyper you can get

Or how you can do so many things at once

He tries to keep your attention on him so much but boy is struggling a bit

He loves you though

He has to hold your hand wherever y'all go as to not lose you

He knows you can be a bit impulsive

But so can he!

You both practically are the same person, he just watches over you more than him!

He helps you if you ever feel bad about your ADHD

He knows you can't control it and will never let you feel bad or guilty about it

He'll take it if it means you come along with it

He once got annoyed with you before he knew about your ADHD and felt like shit when you told him

He was actually interested in learning about it when you opened up to him about it

He asked the questions he needed, got up and shrugged it off

It didn't phase him, he cared about you and in no way was it a deal breaker

You often forget things and he's like a mom friend with it

"Do you have (blank)? What about- okay, I have one for you."

He always has whatever you lost no matter what somehow

Even if you forget things

It can be a little frustrating at times if you forget stuff a lot

But dw, he will remind you or write it on your hand or arm to help you remember

If you have a hard time listening, and can't really focus on stuff he will do his best

Like to help you refocus or give you breaks to do what you want before going back to what's at hand

Let's you do practically want you want but responsibility

You're a bit impulsive and can be random, so he's like a running mother after a run away at times but it's okay

He makes Tom, Gustav and Georg understand about how your brain works and to not be upset if you lose or forget something

He'll kill them if they do, even if he understands

If you make little mistakes and get sad or get worried, he'll do his best to help you relax

It's just a tiny mistake, no worries

Hell help you fix it as fast as you can

He has to tug you back into life a few times because your mind wanders

You keep him up and running though