#i love love love tommy actively pursuing buck

[userautumn]

getting to actually see buck grow and build his relationship with tommy would heal me, i think. getting to see him fight for something, someone, he wants. being an active participant in his own life instead of watching it pass him by. oh yeah. yeah, that's the good stuff. in the entire show, buck has only made TWO (2) significant decision for himself. one was breaking up with taylor, the other was allowing himself to be kissed by / go on a date with tommy. both of which were necessary. but he's never going to have the future he wants if he doesn't actively pursue it. so much of the conversation around buck's quest for love has revolved around the universe, the universe, the universe. but maybe the lesson here is that buck is his own universe, and that if he wants something, he needs to make it happen himself.

[epiphainie]

honestly what frustrates me about the bucktommy breakup as a buck fan is that pursuing tommy for that second chance after their first failed date was the first time buck assumed a proactive role in his love life. yes, tommy initiated the kiss, took the first step to date buck like all of his love interests before, but it was that decision by buck not to watch this chance slip away from his fingers that made it so interesting. maybe the writers meant off-the-hamster-wheel as him finding an answer to what he was searching for in himself -- that being his bisexuality -- but to me it was that moment of grabbing the controls that was so special. it was a natural next step in his growth for him to seek someone out after taking the initiative to end his relationship with taylor and the breakup with tommy sending him back to that passive position annoys me. i'm not frustrated about tommy not being his endgame, i don't think his off-the-hamster-wheel necessarily had to mean he was gonna settle down now, i'm just frustrated about the step back in his character arc. and he still wants to call tommy, actually, he's not ready to let go like he wasn't after their first date, and all logical signs following this character would have him assume the active role in seeking that second chance or the closure but logical character writing comes to die in 911 nowadays

[air--so--sweet]

I've mentioned before how part of me wants Eddie to come out to Buck and for Buck to say 'Like you said to me when I told you about Tommy, this doesn't change a thing between us' and for Eddie to say 'What if I want it to change things between us?'

In 2×17, when Eddie tells Shannon he wants them to be a family again and she says she's not pregnant he says 'It doesn't change a thing' and she replies 'It does for me.' She then goes on to explain how she can't mess things up with Christopher again and she's still learning how to he someone's mother, and once she has then maybe she can learn how to he someone's wife. She then asks Eddie for a divorce.

And, while 'it doesn't change a thing' is a pretty common phrase I find it so interesting that it's said in both scenes. Scenes with the people that Eddie loves most. In one his wife is leaving him and in the other his best friend, who he doesn't realise he's in love with, is telling him that he's attracted to men, but the man he's chosen to date isn't him.

And it's made me like my theory more honestly, but with a change. I now want Eddie to say 'It does for me'. Yes, because it mirrors his scene with Shannon, but also because Eddie has been so passive in so much of his romantic life, he needs to be active in choosing to confess his feelings to Buck and choosing to pursue a relationship with him. 'It does for me' is a more definite and sure statement and it signifies Eddie truly choosing to take a leap of faith even though it means he has to risk rejection by doing so. It changes things for him because knowing a future with Buck is possible, knowing his best friend could he is boyfriend, maybe even his husband, it changes everything in Eddie's life in the absolute best way. And he can't not try make that a reality.

Also, yes, I've gone from being cautious in case this is queerbaiting to going all in on Buddie. I can't not, *spoilers for 8x08 and season 8b* like Buck's reaction to Eddie moving to El Paso, Tim Minear saying Buck will be spiralling so much he'll be 'spinning like a top', it has to be a set up for Buddie, it has to! They know the fans love Buddie, I cannot imagine they would write this story line and then have it be about their friendship. All that would do is risk alienating a huge chunk of their fanbase.

[fantasylover145]

I've seen a lot of people say that Buck needs to choose and Eddie needs to be chosen or whatever. But honestly I think it's the opposite. Most of the time Buck isn't accidentally getting into relationships, he's fairly passive at times once he is in them, but he has pursued quite a few of them. Buck pursued most of his hookups (snake lady & firetruck girl), even in the first ep with firetruck girl, he asks for her number after they sleep together, he pursued Natalia, even Taylor whilst she kissed him first in season 4, she already knew Buck liked her because he pursued her first and told her he was interested in her. Actually we can count Tommy too, Buck very clearly showed him he was into him and was attracted to him before Tommy kissed him, even if Buck at the time didn't know what it meant, he still CHOSE Tommy.

Buck just jumps in too quickly and goes head first into a relationship without ever fully thinking things through and if he is even in the right headspace for a relationship. Most of the time he hasn't stopped to think about if he is emotionally ready for a relationship and I think he uses them as a distraction and a way to get affection. Especially since 911 has shoved him into relationships immediately after he has gone through something extremely traumatic (the lightning strike & Eddie being shot). Buck may be using the relationships to avoid a lot of the problems in his life and he needs to work on that. But he has pursued multiple people in the past, he isn't just getting with random people because they show interest.

Buck has actively shown interest in all of his past love interests, Eddie on the otherhand has not. Even Shannon, Eddie wasn't interested in getting to know her again or spending quality time with her that wasn't physical. Whilst he showed initial interest in Ana and Marisol, he was never actually interested in either of them. Eddie is extremely passive when he is in relationships, he doesn't even care about them AT ALL, Shannon he did love but still didn't show much interest in her as an actual person seperate from the labels of wife and mother. Eddie keeps making these choices about who he should be and who he should be with because of what he was told growing up and the expectations on his shoulders. Eddie needs to be the one to finally CHOOSE for himself and pursue someone because HE wants to be with them. They both need to focus on themselves before anything happens obviously, Eddie going back to therapy, working on his grief over Shannon, his Catholic guilt, his harmful coping mechanisms etc. And Buck needs to focus on processing everything he's been through but most importantly he needs to feel chosen by his partner because he hasn't really felt much love that he could trust.

[darlinghowl]

seeing ppl hate tommy for loving buck is infuriating i thought we all agreed buck deserved a loving partner? he deserves someone who actively cares about him? and if you’re a buddie wouldn’t you rather buck find his footing in a stable loving relationship and eddie find his on his own outside of one before they decide to pursue something healthy so it doesn’t crash and burn immediately?

[buddiebeginz]

Totally agree with all of your thoughts on this @lemotmo

Wanted to add a few of my own. Thanks in advance for always letting me ramble on your posts. ❤️

First I honestly don't think that Tommy was ever really interested in just being friends with Eddie. He was putting a lot of time, effort, and money into Eddie and it definitely felt like he was trying to woo him. When that didn't work out and when Buck showed interest he just moved on with Buck. I also think T*mmy was well aware going into things with Buck that there's something there between Buck and Eddie, as I have no doubt Eddie talked about Buck the majority of the time he was probably with T*mmy.

But about this great friendship that is supposed to exist or have existed between Eddie and T*mmy. We have to remember that 7x04 was mostly all from Buck's pov. We didn't get Eddie (or T*mmy's) pov to know how they felt about that relationship. What we saw was Buck going through a myriad of emotions when he felt like he was being replaced in Eddie's life. So it was really Buck that was making that relationship (between Eddie and T*mmy) out to be something much more important than it actually was.

I don't think the friendship between T*mmy and Eddie was all that serious especially not on Eddie's part. I think he was just enjoying the perks of hanging out with T*mmy not realizing why T*mmy was showering him with all that attention. Plus if you notice he was only really doing things with T*mmy that Buck wasn't that interested in. I think if Buck had been down to do any of those activities Eddie would have chosen Buck before T*mmy in a heartbeat. Remember how excited Eddie was when he showed up at the hanger and thought Buck was coming or when Buck showed up to play basketball?

Mostly I just think whatever friendship Eddie and T*mmy had was dead in the water the minute T*mmy decided to pursue Buck because if the past is anything to go by Eddie has a track record of hating all of Buck's love interests just on principle of them dating Buck. Wonder why that is? 🤔

Also if you're interested in more thoughts about episode 7x04 I wrote a whole breakdown on it here.

Can we talk about how awkward it’s going to be when buck breaks up with t*my and dates Eddie?

I don’t see people bringing this up so often but t*mmy is also eddie’s friend, someone that likes the same things as him and has a lot of things in common.

It kinda makes me sad if they end up breaking that friendship because they work as friends and Eddie deserves to have someone that understands the same things as him (something him and buck don’t have a lot in common and that’s fine but it’s true)

And if that DOES happen I wonder how they’re going to do it, I kinda feel bad for t*my now :/ he’s going to be left without a boyfriend or a best friend 🥲

And this is coming from someone that ships buddie and doesn’t like t*mmy and buck together. But rewatching the show again it made me feel kinda bad for him tbh. That will quickly go away once buddie gets canon tho so, but still it’s a beautiful friendship

Hi Nonny!

There will be no awkwardness. You know why? Because Tommy will probably never be mentioned again.

Tommy was a plot device to help Buck out of the closet. But at the same time the writers wanted the audience to see and realise that none of this was really about Tommy himself, but about Tommy stealing Eddie away from Buck.

So they conveniently set Eddie up with Tommy for them to bond and become friends. They did this in one single episode. Eddie never even mentioned Tommy or his friendship with Tommy again in any other episode. In fact, he was pretty hostile towards Tommy in the bachelor's party episode.

As soon as Buddie happens, there will be no more need for Tommy as a plot device, so he will disappear and never be mentioned again. He might show up again in a later season to help in a rescue, but as far as his bond with Eddie? It will be as if it never even existed.

I'll be honest here and I have to ask the question:

Where do you see this beautiful friendship between Eddie and Tommy? We only see a small glimpse of it in episode 7x04. Eddie talks about Tommy and him doing stuff together sure, but they never showed it. So I really don't see a beautiful friendship here. They needed these two to be friends in order for the bi Buck plot to work out. So they made them friends. But there is no build up or focus on this friendship at all.

Eddie has a beautiful friendship with Hen, Chim, Bobby and Buck. He also, canonically, has poker friends and basketball friends. I think he'll manage just fine without Tommy.

As for Tommy? I hardly doubt that Eddie suddenly is his best friend after they hang out a few times. And I'm sorry, but I can't and won't feel sorry for Tommy losing his (maybe) boyfriend and friend. He has been in 6 scenes or something in season 7. They were hardly dating. I'm sure Tommy will be fine. And since I don't expect to even see him again after the break up, I don't think we have to worry about him anymore.

Yep, that's more or less the general consensus in the Buddie fandom.

This is also the reason why we shouldn't be too concerned about what happens after the break up. What happens to Tommy or to the Tommy & Eddie friendship isn't the point here. Tommy is used as a ploy to make Buddie happen. That is the point.

Have a great day Nonny!

[canichangemyblogname]

I want it to be clear that the supposed “inevitability” of a ship is what often strips m/m fanfiction ships of queerness. (Things like, it’s “bound” to happen, it’s “end game,” it’s “gonna” happen, [but after, of course, the women are out of the way; this can only happen if there are no women])

In the minds of many straight people, especially heteropessimists, and a heterosexist society, there is an inevitability to relationships. Men and women “inevitably” end up together unless circumstances prevent or compel otherwise. This is considered “natural,” “self-evident,” and the “norm” (this is also a feature of compulsory heterosexuality).

For many in the 911 fandom, Buck and Eddie seem to get together because they’ve run out of girlfriends, as they’ve all been fridged, or because their friendship would “naturally” lead to this “end-stage.”

(I want to note: Men who are into men don’t choose to date a man because there are no women available [like fridging the girlfriends]; they date men because they like men and there are men they like available. I know there’s this weird hetero trope that men aren’t picky & they’ll date whomever, so I need to correct the record: men don’t date just anyone they come across. A man’s not going to be into someone b/c that person’s simply there or convenient. Men do choose to date the people they do because they are attracted to them in some way.)

It is not “inevitable” that Buck will “take it slow” (“do it right,” in his mind) and eventually marry a long-term, serious, monogamous girlfriend. It is also no more “inevitable” that he will start fucking his best friend. And it was certainly not narratively inevitable that he would end up with Tommy as he has.

Queer people make the active decision to live as their authentic selves. They will themselves to reject heteronormative tropes and live in a way that says, “No, your norms are not inevitable or natural or self-evident; I will live differently and love differently in a way you will never see as socially valid.” This is part of why queerness is political.

And this is why I think the Buck & Tommy storyline has been pretty lovely so far. Buck goes out of his way to try and get to know Tommy and then tells him to his face that he likes him and wants to spend time with him. Those are conscious decisions. And after they kiss? He agrees to a date. He makes the active decision to go on a date with a man; to pursue this feeling he has. In that moment, he decided that he will live his life, he will be himself and pursue what feels right for him, and in the process he will reject norms forced upon him like comphet. So, I really hope that this season continues to reveal to the audience what Buck finds attractive in men and in Tommy, specifically, as it already has a little (he likes Tommy’s dimples, for example) and as he comes into his sexuality.

Hot take? A show with queer people in it from the beginning was never queerbaiting and— very literally and technically— never could. In the first episode, a gay man comes out to his family. And he doesn’t stop being gay after that; it’s a major plot point and part of his character going forward. You’ve had a married lesbian couple from the jump who are proud and unapologetic about their love for each other. The story has also portrayed several queer couples and stories in episodic plots, including featuring queer weddings.

Buck didn’t suddenly “become” bi. Queerness is not when straight people “turn” queer. He has been attracted to men the entire time; he has always been bi. Understanding yourself and your sexuality as a queer person is often so difficult under heteronormativity. Sometimes, it takes time.

Hell— Buck checking a guy out some time in season 3 or getting flustered by the idea he might like a guy, etc, etc, are not even examples “queerbaiting,” nevermind how the show already features queer stories.

I genuinely think some of y’all are just mad that he’s not sucking face with the man you want him to, and are being weirdly homophobic about it. “Buck kissing this man is kinda off-putting, lmao.” “Buck and his bf’s relationship is awkward. IDK, but it weirds me out.” “There’s something so cringe about Buck’s relationship—” “Who dates someone they haven’t been friends with for years first? It’s kinda creepy…” “I think their relationship is a weird mess. It’s not as meaningful as a slow burn.”

Life isn’t fanfiction and fanfiction tropes don’t make good writing. Most relationships start out with a “hey, I’m interested in you, let’s get to know each other.” You’re just transparently uncomfortable with two men expressing that interest in each other outside the arbitrary rules you’ve established to make a mlm relationship “legitimate” or “meaningful.”

[Fanfiction] tropes— from “there’s only one bed” to “we’re forced together, but fall in love anyway”— are responses to the sex-negativity and purity culture norms forced upon gender and sexual minorities. They provide a workaround for these norms but never a direct challenge. It’s like the Family Guy episode “Prick Up Your Ears,” where conservative Christian abstinence-only sex education leads to kids having ear sex. Ear sex is the workaround to the abstinence and purity rules they’d been taught, not the challenge. We still have stringent rules around who can touch whom and under what circumstances. Tropes reflect this. So, a trope like “there’s only one bed” provides the characters with a justification for their intimacy without directly challenging why it is taboo.

You’ve convinced yourself that shipping— and thus the tropes it employs— is more subversive than actual representation, and the people caught in the crossfire are actual queer people.

Also— for the love of fuck— stop comparing every mlm relationship to RW&RB.