#i love love love Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao
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Hi! Are you planning on continuing the Winter Soldier AU for Price? It's so good!! 😩
thanks!!! and yes! i'm writing the last leg of part one right now so if all goes well, it should be posted sometime this week.
i also posted a bit on my sideblog too @/dvchvnde! but here's some to set the mood;
#i love love love Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao#one of my favourite books of all time#but im wondering how easily it would translate to something i wrote and i guess this is my experimental piece inspired by it#but anyway#fic: desolate and empty is the sea#captain john price x reader
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right person, wrong time (variations on heartbreak)
@leemartenspoetry on tumblr
vita sackville-west & fegan’s 1924 café in dublin
everything everywhere all at once (2022)
@heavensghost on tumblr
i had to get out by indigo de souza
‘calling a wolf a wolf' by kaveh akbar
river by joni mitchell
‘english song’ in a little larger than the entire universe: selected poems by fernando pessoa
slumber by ron hicks
fish in exile by vi khi nao
penitent magdalene by antonio ciseri
@ojibwa on tumblr
this is what the drugs are for by gracie abrams & the awakening by angelo morbelli
as good as it gets by fizz
lonely this christmas by mud & picture of the christmas tree at trinity college dublin, taken by me in december of 2022
this is what the drugs are for by gracie abrams & picture by andrew collins via globalnews.ca
@inanotherunivrs on tumblr & a polaroid of me taken by my ex-boyfriend
‘in a dream you saw a way to survive’ by clementine von radics & a picture of my ex-boyfriend's window, taken by me
bluets by maggie nelson & the poolbeg generating station, dublin
‘unrequited’ by sasha m george & inheritance by matthew w. cornell
[unknown]
@ faraway on instagram & lavender sprigs farm cut by linda jacobus
the museum of heartbreak by meg leder
[unknown]
‘seaside improvisation’ by richard siken
@ dracarysgang on twitter
@-love-letters-i-never-sent
@fromdarzaitoleeza on tumblr
explosions by ellie goulding
‘i had a dream about you’ by richard siken
the beatrice letters by lemony snicket
la la land (2016)
‘catalog of unabashed gratitude’ by ross gay
@stuckinapril on tumblr
@deathlywounded on tumblr
some are always hungry by jihyun yun
‘speaking practice’ by franny choi
a self-portrait in letters by anna sexton & a picture of my ex-boyfriend in a lake in Orfű, Hungary
@sunsbleeding on tumblr
‘there is no absolution for the fallen, only the dying’ by p.d
#web weave#web weaving#heartbreak#this is possibly too long and not well structured enough but oh weell#everything everywhere all at once#vita sackville west#richard siken#anna sexton#the beatrice letters#la la land#clementine von radics#kaveh akbar#gracie abrams#joni mitchell#fizz
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assigning a devastating quote to each Life Series member because i want to ruin your day (feel free to suggest alternatives!)
Bdubs - "I love you. It will end." (Anna Belle Kaufman, "Cold Solace")
BigB - "I never expected you to actually finish anything. You were always leaving. I always picture you with a suitcase in your hand." (Margarita Karapanou)
Etho - "What are you doing, you wretch, killing your own son, burning him, it's the same old story, it starts with a lamb and ends with the murder of the person you should love most." (José Saramago, "Cain")
Gem - "God never gave me a single useable passion, but did give me sharp teeth and a strong jaw." (Traci Brimhall, "The Fate of my Seven Husbands")
Scar - "It was then that Sisyphus realised the gods must be gone, that his wings were nothing more than a perception of their absence. He dared to raise his fist to the sky. Nothing, gloriously, happened. Then a different terror overtook him." (Stephen Dunn, "Sisyphus and The Sudden Lightness")
Grian - "You're addicted to loneliness and desperation. It's the strongest emotion you've ever known, so your subconscious tells you that it's your destiny. You will be alone always and then you will die." (Heather Havrilesky, entry for the "Ask Polly" column)
Impulse - "Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving. I mourn what could have been, what will not be, what I can't save." (tumblr user "ojibwa")
Martyn - "Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was always just red." (Kait Rokowski)
Lizzie - "This was always going to happen. She's been dead since the beginning." (Aeschylus, "The Oresteia")
Mumbo - "I beg you, eat me up. Want me down to the marrow." (Hélène Cixous, "The Love of the Wolf")
Pearl - "You want to be loved if only to prove it possible: to tell the world that someone saw you as a conquest and came back alive." (Silas Denver Melvin, "Love as an Act of Merciful Conquer")
Ren - "My God, my God, whose performance am I watching? How many people am I? Who am I? What is this space between myself and myself?" (Fernando Pessoa, "The Book of Disquiet")
Skizz - "Better creatures could love you, I know. But now they'll have to get through me." (tumblr user "ihopewestay")
Scott - "She decides God is no good, but he must exist, he must exist so she can hold him accountable." (Ada Limón, "The Echo Sounder")
Joel - "I've always preferred Cain. His angry loneliness, his lack of mother's love, his Christian sarcasm: "Am I my brother's keeper?" asks his brother's murderer. Aren't we indeed the keepers of our dead?" (Valzhyna Mort, "Genesis")
Jimmy - "I won't last. Memory is sweet. Even when it's painful, memory is sweet." (Li-Young Lee, "Mnemonic")
Tango - "Isn't all that rage so ugly? And isn't it mine, still? Good God, isn't it mine?" (Ashe Vernon, "Buried")
Cleo - "God is fucking with my oblivion. If he wanted forgiveness, he shouldn't have given us memory." (Vi Khi Nao, "Fish In Exile")
#based on my characterisations !!!#third life series#trafficblr#traffic smp#bdoubleo100#bigbstats#ethoslab#geminitay#goodtimeswithscar#grian#impulsesv#martyn inthelittlewood#mumbo jumbo#lizzie ldshadowlady#pearlescentmoon#rendog#skizzleman#scott smajor#joel smallishbeans#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#zombiecleo#last life smp#double life smp#limited life smp#secret life smp#wild life smp#chipper og posts#short ideas
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Killer
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader
Author's Note: FINALLY
Summary: “God is fucking with my oblivion. If he wants forgiveness, he shouldn’t have given us memory.” — Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao [2.7k]
Warnings: canonical type violence, PTSD symptoms, implied past violence, probably incorrect wound care, vague mention of Joel's sobriety, maybe love is enough to keep us alive
She's still shaking when you manage to get her to sit down long enough to look at the blood on her face and hands. Most of it isn't hers, but you can tell by the disengaged look in her eyes that she still paid for it. It isn't until you get some food and water in her that she seems more present, more there. You somehow convince Joel to wait for you in the living room instead of standing menacingly in the doorway with the shotgun still slung over his shoulder. Besides, he definitely popped his stitches and got a few more injuries for his troubles and should not be standing longer than necessary.
"I'm gonna clean you up and then see what I can do about your bumps and bruises. Is that okay?" You ask as you pull out the first aid kit you managed to save from the flames. She just nods, and her fingers flex against the lip of the tub she's sitting on when you raise your hands.
You explain every movement as you swipe the cold washcloth across her sensitive skin. She flinches if you move too fast or unexpectedly, her body jerking in the direction of the door. You have to shush her and drop everything when she does to show her your nonthreatening hands. As if seeing the empty space in your palms will ease the tension in her shoulders and erase the memories from her head. You breathe deeply, and she copies you until she relaxes enough for you to continue. It takes a long time to get a full inventory of her injuries.
The notch on her nose isn't deep enough to need stitches, but you can tell it's shattered. From what you can immediately see, she has a broken nose, a concussion, and signs of smoke inhalation. Most of her injuries seem internal, too far away, and come with weeks of recovery time. The only ones you can treat outright are the burns and cuts on her hands and forearms. Even those you can only bandage and wait.
"Is anything hurting that I can't see?" You ask gently, and she nods. "Where?"
"My…" her voice is crackly and seemingly too deep to be hers. She has to clear her throat to continue. "My ribs."
"Is it okay if I feel around to see if any are broken?" You ask, and she nods hesitantly. Carefully, you put your hands on her sides and apply some pressure every time you feel a set of ribs. She hisses when you press on the seventh and nearly jumps away when you move down to the eighth. "Hey, you're okay. I'm not trying to hurt you," you soothe. "It feels like you've got at least two that are broken, okay? They'll heal on their own, but it's gonna hurt like hell for a few weeks."
"Hurts like hell now." She mumbles.
"I know." You say, wishing there was more you could do. Little by little, she tells you everything that hurts, and you can tell her what's wrong— or, at least, what you're pretty sure is wrong. Without access to X-rays or real tests, everything is a best-guess diagnosis. "It looks like I've got some ibuprofen in here. That'll help with your pain for a while. It's completely safe." You say as you dig through the first aid kit and put two tablets in her hand. She hesitates, her eyes flicking to the door, hiding the two of you in the bathroom.
"What about Joel?" She asks.
"There's more than enough in here for the both of you," you say and pass her a half-empty water bottle. "Please, just take them." It takes her looking at your supplies and ensuring you have enough to take them. She winces when she swallows but doesn't complain as you search for bandaids to cover her nose and burn cream for her fingers.
"Is he okay?" She asks so quietly you almost missed it. She's really asking if he's gonna die. If something is going to go wrong again and pull him into the bottomless pit of unconsciousness. If you're going to lose him. You screamed at her the last time she asked you that, and the memory makes you sick. She's staring at you like a dog waiting to be kicked when you nod.
"He's gonna be fine. Might've ripped a stitch or two, but it's nothing we can't handle." You say, but she doesn't look comforted by your report.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm okay." It's easier than talking about the burns on your arm from trying to get in the building. Or the painful creaking in your hand that's surely the result of breaking bones across men's faces. Or the devastating flashbacks you fought through when Ellie tried to tell you what happened.
"I'm sorry." She mumbles. You press your elbows to your knees and lean forward so she can't avoid you.
"Look at me," you urge, not daring to say another word until she does. "I'm not mad at you. Joel is not mad at you. None of this is your fault," she tries to open her mouth to argue, but you raise your hand to stop her. "I was too hard on you when Joel got hurt. I expected too much of you, and that's not fair. I'm the adult. I should've been shouldering the brunt of it, not you. I'm sorry." She doesn't say anything, and you shift uncomfortably as you think.
"Y'know, there was a long time when I didn't travel with Joel. It was just me. I was trying to get to Boston, and I tried to do everything right. I didn't get too close to QZs. I didn't light fires. I didn't trust anyone else because I…" you stumble. "I know what men do to women who are alone with no one protecting them." The confession settles in the space separating you. You don't need to say anything more, and she doesn't need to hear more. Your eyes sting, and you take a shaky breath to compose yourself. "Nobody can blame you for doing what you did, is what I'm trying to say, I guess."
"I… I didn't know what else to do," she whispers, tears shining in her eyes. "I was so scared. He got in my head. He wouldn't stop talking. I just..." she trails off and shakes her head. "He said I was like him."
"Sweet girl, you are nothing like him." You say, but her jaw flexes in protest, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.
"I'm violent. And angry."
"So am I," you say. "I'm angry every day, and I don't handle it well. You've seen it. Am I like him, too?" You ask, reaching out to wipe a tear away before it can fall down her chin. She freezes for just a second before leaning into you, letting you take the weight of her head in your hand. You tuck her into your chest while she's still pliant and rub her back as her cries turn more into anguished sobs. "I know. I know," you tell her over and over again because you do know. "You're nothing like him, honey. Not even close."
She cries and bangs her fists against your chest angrily and spits every curse she knows. She will never get to be the little girl she was when she left Boston. He took that from her, and she has to learn to live with that. You can handle a few more bruises if it means she feels better for even half a second. You let her do whatever she needs to do until she wears herself out and her tears slow. When she's done, you give her more water and food before scooping her in your arms and carrying her out to where Joel is waiting.
He looks up from where he's anxiously pacing, his right foot taking more of his weight than his left, and glances between you and Ellie. Quickly, he sets up a makeshift bed for her on the old couch equipped with a sleeping bag and blankets, balling up his jacket as a pillow. You lay her body down as softly as possible, mindful of her broken ribs, and she curls up the second she touches the familiar material. You sit on the couch with her, playing with her hair and rubbing her back until she falls asleep. She smells like smoke and sweat, but you don't care. Joel acts as a quiet sentinel by bouncing his eyes from you two to the room around you like someone could come in at any point with weapons and ill intent.
Your fingers linger on the side of her neck, feeling her pulse against your skin as if to affirm that she's real and alive and here before you look at Joel. He looks as shaken as you feel. It was close. Closer than you've been in a long time, but she's alive. All three of you are, but at what cost? You swallow thickly and hesitantly stand from your perch next to Ellie, and Joel reaches for you, but you put a finger to your lips and gesture toward the bathroom. If she wakes up, she'll never go back to sleep, and she desperately needs rest after the past few weeks. He obediently follows you into the bathroom, and you leave the door cracked enough to see Ellie sleeping on the couch and for her to see you if she wakes up. You can keep both of them safe from here.
"Your turn, cowboy," you say as you put on a clean pair of gloves. He settles against the sink, sighing and shakily lifting his shirt to show you his stitches. About half of them held, and there's a slow flow of blood from the cut. Nothing to worry about. "You want anything for the pain?" You ask, and he shakes his head, jaw flexing.
"No, no. It's fine. There's probably some adrenaline left or somethin'." He grumbles.
"I'm sure that's how science works," you tease to lighten the mood as you gather the suturing supplies. He watches you with weary eyes like he's waiting for you to inject him with something else. You show him your gloved hands, containing only the needle and thread, and he takes a deep breath as he looks at you.
"I trust you," he says quietly. You think about pushing him to take something— anything— if it means he won't suffer, but you know it's a battle you'll lose like you always do. You might as well save time and just work.
He's mostly quiet during the whole procedure, only letting out little huffs and grunts when you get to particularly sensitive areas. You mumble apologies and updates as you maneuver the needle as seamlessly as possible. Before, you didn't have the brain power to count his stitches and were, honestly, too scared to. There were too many factors against you, too much blood, too much fear. This time, you count all twenty-seven of them. He bleeds a little more, but it clots quickly and doesn't happen again once there's a neat line of real sutures across his stomach. You tape the bandage to his skin and pull his shirt back to cover it. He'll need a new one soon or, at least, a wash.
Ellie's breathing is the only sound as you look for newer injuries. Bruises here and there and more broken or fractured bones in his already half-healed hand, but that's it. You stand from your place on the closed toilet lid to check his pupils for any signs of a concussion, but the second your face is close to his, he leans in just enough to kiss you. It's a welcome shock.
When was the last time you kissed him? Jackson? Boston? In some distant time before Ellie? You never thought he'd open his eyes ever again, let alone be standing in front of you and kissing you. His lips are cracked but firm and familiar. His beard scratches your skin, but you can't be bothered to care. There are much worse things than the sting. His hands hold your face, and you want to fall into his chest, but you don't, conscious of his fresh stitches. Ellie mumbles something in her sleep, and you immediately break away from each other to stare at her through the crack in the door. She shifts but doesn't say anything else or show any signs of distress. When you look at each other again, his shoulders fall slightly. His hand lingers on your chin and turns your head a little to the left. "You've got a black eye." He murmurs, and you shrug.
"Yeah, David's guys got a few good hits in." You say. He looks over you, silently searching for something, and all you can do is watch him. He must seen how sullen and dead your eyes have become in the past few weeks. You've lost weight, so Ellie wouldn't. Your face is still dirty, and your hands are weak. You're not much to look at, and yet, he can't stop staring.
When Joel suddenly found strength after hearing you yell after Ellie as men surrounded the house, you didn't necessarily have time for a warm reunion. You only had time to hide and wait for them to descend the stairs to the basement, where you could knock them around until they hit the ground. Even once the wheezing lungs returned to normal breathing and silence filled the house, you didn't talk about much more than getting Ellie back.
Then, just like you did in the QZ, you did what you do best. You hurt people to get what you needed and killed them when you did. Joel screamed in their faces and demanded answers while you wiped blood from your hands and packed up your stuff. He finished them off brutally and without hesitation. It's the meticulous strategy and killing that reminds you of the Joel Tommy and Maria were so worried about. The one who didn't give two shits about his own life, let alone somebody else's. The one who was motivated by his pre-Outbreak work ethic to keep the monsters away, even if he became one in the process. The one who you met and worked with until the lines blurred. That Joel.
But in the dim light of the bathroom, with the smell of blood tinging the air, you can't find any traces of him. You only have the Joel you've come to discover on this journey, the Joel that was always hiding under the surface, the Joel you love. You take a deep breath and stare at him like if you look away, something will happen and try to kill him again.
There's so much you need to talk about and plan for. You all need to recover and make up for lost time. You need to apologize and take care of them until it feels like it's enough to heal the pit of guilt eating away at you. You need to figure out what's next. But you can't find it in yourself to recount the events that happened while Joel was unconscious on the basement floor. Not yet. The only thought you keep circling back to is the exact one you've spent years pushing away and berating in hopes it would stop invading your psyche. Now, it feels unavoidable.
"I love you," you say. You're not quiet or hoping that he's deaf enough to miss it. You say it with everything that you are because no part of you has gone untouched by him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you into him.
"I know," he says simply. Years of tension and unspoken thoughts release from your shoulders, and you bury your face in his neck. "I love you." The syllables sound sweet as they break over his southern accent, and you want to wrap them around you for the rest of your life. You want to try to make a life where you can do that. You want him. You want a soft, happy life with Ellie and Joel where you don't have to morph into old forms to stay alive.
You want a soft future, and if you have to bite and kill and scream to get it, then that's what you'll do. Nobody will ever take them away from you again.
#look for the light#the last of us#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#tlou au#the last of us au#joel miller angst#ellie williams angst#tlou angst#the last of us angst#the last of us fic#tlou fic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us hbo#joel miller x you#the last of us fanfiction#joel tlou#tlou fanfiction
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fish in exile.
dialogue prompts from fish in exile by vi khi nao.
you need a doctor. i can't help you.
do you have any duct tape?
why did your boyfriend sleep with my wife?
everything is blue. like heaven.
i woke up this morning from a strange dream.
is it better to be in exile at home, or to be at home in exile?
i want to think of ways i can love you properly.
don't you think this is wrong?
we are not two halves. we are not some bifurcated thing.
tupperware shopping is very important.
there is nothing here anymore.
i have seen enough of death.
there are many fish in the sea. there are also many choices.
i want to write the world a letter.
are you in love with him?
sometimes i can't tell if my bones are my bones.
you can delay the inevitable, but you can't stop it.
where do you want to be? i can take you there.
i used to love to watch you sleep.
what are you doing out here?
what's your last name?
i have winter in my heart.
i feel safer here.
you look like an angel shedding its wings.
the passage of time can't be reversed.
you're too young to know what you haven't experienced.
you mistake violence for tenderness.
i haven't allowed anything in for so long.
you shouldn't make excuses for my bad behavior.
maybe getting over things is a little overrated.
grief and baking seem to go so well together.
i just don't feel anything anymore.
i can bear this burden for the both of us.
will you let me hold you?
you don't answer my calls anymore.
be gentle, will you?
i do not recognize myself.
disbelief is a headturner.
they say your heart is made of stone.
how can i apologize if i don't feel anything?
everyone wants a piece of your pain.
you can't trust happiness to treat you right.
if you're ready for a divorce, i won't deny you the opportunity.
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and honestly even if youre not promoting and youre just recommending a work casually to a friend then this is a really helpful way to describe it. for example, i want a friend to read Fish In Exile by Vi Khi Nao! some of the things i told her are:
- psychological drama
- heavily references figures in greek tragedies
- it has the maladjusted intensity / raw emotion of Atwood and Siken
- LUSCIOUS juicy elegant precise prose and portrayals of grief that are unnervingly realistic in their absurdity
- literally made me reassess how strong my attachments were to my loved ones because i wondered what type of loss would get me to do all of that
when someone recommends a novel to me i do NOT want the tropes. i want:
- genre
- author's inspirations
- what it's been compared to
- handful of adjectives about tone
- how YOU felt when you read it
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i love you like i love being hungry. it feels good to want things.
or: c!quackity, on starvation
the blind assassin, margaret atwood // nobody, mitski // abbey, mitski // stay soft, mitski // quackity’s tvtropes page // fish in exile, vi khi nao // moderation, florence + the machine // the complete short stories of ernest hemingway // unknown // unknown // i will tell this story to the sun until you remember that you are the sun, erin slaughter // crush, richard siken // children stories made horrific, daniel mallory ortberg // war of the foxes, richard siken // if my body could speak, blythe baird // euripides, medea // andy-deer // paper doll, flower face
#c!quackity#dream smp#dsmp web weaving#my web weaves#i’ve never made a short ww in my life truly….#anyway ik this is messier than my usual but i randomly got inspired last night and threw this together. hope u like#three m.itski lyrics back to back to back oh my god i need to be stopped#blood tw#cannibalism tw#hall of fame
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Alice Notley, In The Pines
Sylvia Plath, Lesbos
Mitski, Nobody
“I’m walking out now into the soft light, the cooling hum of evening, and I will love you tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and still many more, so very many more tomorrows.”
Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Vera
E.E. Cummings, I Carry Your Heart with Me
Lucille Clifton, Mother-Tongue: After The Flood
Robert Lax
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
Vi Khi Nao, Fish in Exile
Aurora, Exist For Love
Margaret Atwood, Late Poems
repetition in poetry // part iv
(part i) (part ii) (part iii) (part v)
#alice notley#sylvia plath#mitski#vladimir nabokov#e.e. cummings#lucille clifton#robert lax#fernando pessoa#vi khi nao#aurora#margaret atwood#poetry#repetition#quotes#webweaving
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Which books have left you feeling dumbfounded and in a "what the hell just happened" state but in a good way?
My favorite books are indeed the ones that leave me flabbergasted. 🌼
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid
The Vegetarian by Han Kang
Death with Interruptions by José Saramago
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami
Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter
Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao
The Schrödinger Girl by Laurel Brett
After Dark by Haruki Murakami
If Cats Disappeared from the World by Genki Kawamura
The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura
Tender Is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica
Peach by Emma Glass
And the biggest wtf did I just read (but I loved it) moment of my life
Earthlings by Sayaka Murata
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love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying. someone to you, banners / unknown, unknown / writer in the dark, lorde / fish in exile, vi khi nao / this is what makes us girls, lana del rey / the chronicles of narnia, c.s. lewis / habits, nikki giovanni / waiting room, phoebe bridgers / i don’t smoke, mitski / in the garden, anna de noailles.
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some good books!
tagged by the iconic @vowel-in-thug.
I included some quotes to try and sell y’all on these!! READ THEM!!!
Kartography - Kamila Shamsie
“Can angels lie spine to spine? If not, how they must envy us humans”
Less - Andrew Sean Greer
“She told me she met the love of her life,” Zohra says at last, still staring out the window. “You read poems about it, you hear stories about it, you hear Sicilians talk about being struck by lightning. We know there’s no love of your life. Love isn’t terrifying like that. It’s walking the fucking dog so the other one can sleep in, it’s doing taxes, it’s cleaning the bathroom without hard feelings. It’s having an ally in life. It’s not fire, it’s not lightning. It’s what she always had with me. Isn’t it? But what if she’s right, Arthur? What if the Sicilians are right? That it’s this earth-shattering thing she felt? Something I’ve never felt. Have you?”
Fish In Exile - Vi Khi Nao
Are we made of mud and sand? If we are made of sand, do we burn up from the inside rather quickly, like a kiln? Or do we emerge from the kiln like glass jars? We must be made of sand; it is the only way to rationalize how quickly our realities disintegrate.
As Meat Loves Salt - Maria McCann
“Violent love eats up what it does love, and it is mere appetite. I scribbled on the bottom of this before sending it back: I would sooner cut my own flesh than do you a hurt. You should not have tried to get between us!”
Everything is Illuminated - Jonahtan Safran Foer
(You have ghosts?) (Of course I have ghosts.) (What are your ghosts like?) (They are on the insides of the lids of my eyes.) (This is also where my ghosts reside.) (You have ghosts?) (Of course I have ghosts.) (But you are a child.) (I am not a child.) (But you have not known love.) (These are my ghosts, the spaces amid love.)
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong
“I am writing you from inside a body that used to be yours. Which is to say, I am writing as a son.”
The Seas - Samantha Hunt
He tears through the dictionary searching for the word that means- n. a region of deep sea so dark that the creatures who dwell there have little or no pigment ‘It was here,’ he says. 'Someone took it,’ he says, and looks at my mother and me with suspicion, mostly me. I try not to meet his gaze but he’s a tough old man, my father’s father, and he can stare me for a long time. Eventually I have to look away. I walk over to the screen door and let the kitty cat inside. I was thirsty. It was just floating there. And anyway, that word is mine.
i think everyone i would have tagged got tagged anyways
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Vi Khi Nao on Rachel Levitsky’s Neighbor
I love this book. I read it in Brooklyn after fallen ill from many months of travel. What I love about it - it is relentlessly refreshing and the lines, even when breaking - force me to reconsider the system of poetry and why poetry fails at times. I think poetry fails when it's expected (meaning it eats burgers with buns everyday) and I find Neighbor rivetingly unexpected. Each poem has Rachel Levitsky's voice in it, but the voice is commanding, demanding you in a sexy, provocative way, urging you to travel with her into a plane that is sonic and wry and physical and unknown. And, you let her. Guide you into language. She makes language just comedic enough that you would laugh at the totality of its political force and irony. And, she edits it just enough so you feel that you could revisit her again and again if you want to without feeling like poetry has stolen your Neighbor's dog and waiting to blame it entirely on you. And, you condemn yourself for not knowing the book sooner. The work is experimental, but not that experimental. She is playful, forces language to tease itself, to confine itself, and sways itself a little. Human irony lives here, but so is this city made of words imbued by a highly self-aware writer who is willing to structurally and choreographically spasm just at an imperfect angle so that page in which her text is written on knows that it too has a heartbeat and a human frequency as well. I only had one criticism. I wish she had made her play in this poetry collection longer - it seems like she could push it so it could push back, but perhaps we will see it in her next body of work - this extended mirage of word plays performed for the reader's pantomimic heist.
*Click here for more info, or to order a copy of Neighbor.
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VI KHI NAO is the author of a novel, Fish in Exile (Coffee House Press, 2016), and The Old Philosopher (Nightboat Books, 2016), a poetry collection. Vi’s work includes poetry, fiction, film and cross-genre collaboration. She was the winner of 2014 Nightboat Poetry Prize and the 2016 Ronald Sukenick Innovative Fiction Contest.
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which one would you read first out of these books and which one did you enjoy the most (if you've read them - if you have any recs on books like these please share some <3 i love your content!) 1. kafka on the shore, Haruki Murakami 2. if we were villains, M. L. Rio 3. crime and punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky 4. the picture of dorian gray, Oscar Wilde 5. on earth we're briefly beautiful, Ocean Vuong
I adore all these gems. I've enjoyed reading all of them and I believe a 5-star review was given to all, so you shall accept my refusal to put these vessels of geniality in cages of comparison. 🌼
chronological order:
The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky
If We Were Villains, M. L. Rio
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong
Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami
recommendations:
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin D. Yalom
Death with Interruptions by José Saramago
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
Night Sky with Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong
Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao
Human Acts by Han Kang
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami
Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami
Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Hermann Hesse
Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky
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hiii! do you know some books or poems that have the theme like “you are as alone as i am, we are both alone without each other” line? thank you so much!
Poems
“If I Should Come Upon Your House Lonely in the West Texas Desert,” | Natalie Diaz
"Object Permanence." | Nicole Sealey
"Middle Aged Lovers," | Erica Jong
"The Quiet World," | Jeffrey McDaniel
"Morning," | Frank O’Hara
"The Sea of Silence," | Florence May Alt
"XVII (I do not love you...)," | Pablo Neruda
"for Jane," | Charles Bukowski
Books
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Fish in Exile, Vi Khi Nao
The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller
The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
The Girl at the Lion d'Or, Sebastian Faulks
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, V.E. Schwab
Giovanni's Room, James Baldwin
Find Me, André Aciman
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ques 66 and 132 for the ask game
also just want to say, I'm absolutely in love with your blog and its aesthetics <3
thank you, love
66. a book that fucked you up
Peach by Emma Glass
Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao
132. who is your favorite person to go to for book recs?
I usually don't ask for book recommendations.
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Thought I’d do this since my book tastes changed so much this decade
My top books (that I read) of the decade, in no particular order:
1. The Things They carried Tim O’Brien 2. Beloved - Toni Morrison (not pictured bc I let my mom borrow my copy) 3. Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer 4. Less - Andrew Sean Greer 5. Fish in Exile - Vi Khi Nao 6. The Association of Small Bombs - Karan Mahajan 7. The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller 8. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz 9. Kartography - Kamila Shamsie 10 Wildwood Dancing - Juliet Marillier 11. Death Watch (The Undertaker Trilogy) - Ari Berk 12. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeos - Ocean Vuong 13. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark - Michelle McNamara
Bonus: The Percy Jackson Series by Rick Riordan because I was 14 at the start of this decade and OBSESSED
Tag Meme answers:
1) I definitely....read less and less the older I got. I used to be able to sit for hours and read. I’d read 3 books in a week. I’d read whole series in a month. But I also had less responsibilities and no job so I think that contributed. I also read more singular novels and less series. 2) I like stories about people learning how to exist with the flaws within themselves. I love odd characters and characters who never quite say what they’re thinking. I love characters who are smart and are not afraid to show it. I love characters who are kind but also self protective. I also love stories about family drama because I can relate lol. 3) I would like to read MORE OFTEN, but also examine what I read more. These days I just read and forget a lot. I want stuff to stick with me more. 4) Mr. Jonathan Safran Foer.....always manages to write in a way that sticks in my head. I think he’s influenced my writing more than anyone else. But also I read Toni Morrison in highschool and I have a very special place in my heart for her. 5) Does Black Sails count? Probably not. I’d say Gone Girl bc I didn’t really like the book but I DO like rewatching that movie, and I saw it for the first time in college with my roommate and had NO idea what it was about and I still laugh about that memory.
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