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#i love leaving tags on art btw i LOVE telling people how much i love their art
risingsunresistance · 3 months
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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direfang · 2 years
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Hi! I’m Graves, you can call me Fang or Red too! I’m gay, trans male, and over 21. I have trouble expressing myself, or sometimes express myself in weird ways. I’m fine clarifying myself if you need me to. I don’t mind chatting with mutuals over the IM system here, but I have some bad anxiety. Sorry if I miss a message! I reblog a variety of content that changes basically monthly, though I do tag for archival purposes, as well as for common triggers. (I’m very bad at this last part, no hard feelings if you unfollow me for not trigger tagging.) You can find my usual interests >here<! I do not update that link regularly, but it was updated recently (at the start of January 2023.) I also have extra info there, including other sites I’m potentially on. My art only blog is right >here<, and I accept donations >here< if you’re feeling generous. My commissions are permanently closed to the public. Any commissioned art you see on there is from before my closure in December 2021, or for very select cases. Please don’t inquire. If you’re a dumbass bigot (TERF, racist, cop, nazi) you’re getting blocked. I also block people who ask to tag ‘q slur’, people who make ableist comments, truscum, and pedo/zoophiles. Finally, I also block excessive use of Ary*n man (white man with curly blonde mustache) memes. I will NOT, under any circumstances, reblog donations posts if I’m asked to over DMs/asks. There are way too many scam artists nowadays. I also will only reblog donation posts if they’re by people I trust, or people my mutuals trust.
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alteration-au · 8 months
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I am rambling a lot in this post. If you see this because I tagged you, I just wanna tell you that you and your art, be it writing or drawing, is amazing so you don’t have to read through this entire thing.
As of the 25th of December 2023 this AU is three years old
(Well, to be 100 % accurate it was the 20th with a little oneshot)
Putting it all together (according to AO3 statistics and excluding all the tumblr post on the @traitor-on-board story blog and the very few on @adventure-time-alterationau) I've written 126,855 words for this AU in the past three years.
According to my word document I have for ToB, that Blog has additionally 46,258 words alone.
The whole Henry Stickmin fandom is special to me. It's unlike any other fandom I've ever read comics and fanfics, admired fanart and animations or created content myself for.
It's fun to create for this fandom.
We've been given so many characters with so little background information and one of the things I love the most is seeing all the different designs, backstories and characterizations of the same characters. Be it the ones in the background with only a bio with a single sentence, the references to other games like Mario and A hat in time or the main characters like Henry, Charles, Ellie, Reginald and so on.
And I've barely seen people argue about their different headcanons.
Granted, I've grown past the part of my life where I actively seek out drama and noone is obligated to publicly or at all answer rude anonymous asks, but I haven't really seen anyone make a post about how a certain character can't be trans or gay or have a certain type of backstory that they do not agree with.
We can all be peaceful and appreciate each others creativity and love for the fandom and characters. Even if that love means to put them through hell and back and traumatize them beyond belief. (I've never written so much angsty stuff in my life...)
So... in celebration of me not having abandoned any of my stories yet and me roping my friend into this fandom to the point where they share their work with this fandom (btw. "Rare Hearts" on AO3) a thank you to all the blogs / people, aside from every single Kudo, Comment and Star on Wattpad, AO3 and here, who inspired me in the first place and keep my love for this fandom alive. And if you've made it this far I highly encourage you to check them out.
@ending-the-cycle-ask (Which is one of my favorite comics of all time. Is it a comic? Ask-blog with drawings? Comic with reader-input?)
ask-crashed-copperright and run-away-toppats (Which sadly doesn't seem to exist anymore...)
@sir-subpar and @jazzstarrlight (Who both seemed to have moved on from the fandom. But it doesn't change that they're both talented artists and are still doing great work)
@ask-thsc-blog (Who has so many posts that I'll just finally need to take an entire weekend off to scroll all the way down to catch up with the story again)
@unicwolf (Who I am constantly bothering to beta-read my stuff or help me with color theory. And just art in general)
@capturecharlesau (Whos' Terrence (and entire AU) will never leave my brain again because of his story and the similarities and differences he has to my Terrence. And my Terrence would try to murder CCTerrence)
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lycanr0t · 3 months
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I think it's really silly and unhelpful to make comparisons between fan artists and fan writers such as trying to determine who gets more interaction and who "has it easier" and who is more appreciated.
Neither has it easier. Btw. It's a useless overly generalized comparison to make that does nothing but put one group down and pit the two groups against each other when we should be uplifting each other.
each have their highs and lows in terms of interaction. This is a fact that will remain true for all of time purely because they are different forms of creation that require viewers to engage with it in different ways.
some artists may get more things such as likes and reblogs/retweets on visual heavy platforms like tumblr and twitter. But there seems to be an attitude among some that artists universally get attention with ease and i promise you thats simply not true. for every artist whose work is popular theres hundreds upon thousands of artists who get absolutely nothing. Just like writers.
writers DO have a hard time on platforms like tumblr. It's hard to convince people to read a whole fic on a website that is designed for and caters to quick casual scrolling. It sucks but that is a reality. You have to understand not every space is catered to every form of creation. Visual art is faster to see, like, and move on from. So naturally in an environment build for that interaction it has a better chance at doing well.
But at least in my experience, writers when they get interaction, are much more likely to get MEANINGFUL interaction.
Artwork I posted just a week ago (or less!) gets next to no notes, maybe some likes. In it's whole lifespan it maybe gets a handful of replies or tags that say one-two word compliments. (I am in no way putting this down. A compliment is a compliment!) meanwhile a fanfic that I wrote literally 10 years ago still will get comments on ao3 describing to me how much they adore it, telling me the specific parts they liked, and taking the time to really TELL me they loved it.
My point being that social media sites like tumblr and twitter are designed for shorter, smaller interaction. Visual art you can easily do that with, but it does tend to lead to less in depth interaction which does leave a lot of artists feeling used and unappreciated. written works DO require people to sit down and take the time to read it, which does mean less people will take that time, but (in my personal experience + what i have observed) the interaction that fics DO get is much more likely to be in depth and thought out.
EDIT:: forgot to add that since fics do often struggle to get interaction started, that also can lead to feeling unappreciated! both groups have instances of feeling this way!!
My experiences are obviously not universal. But that's my point exactly. Each artist, each writer, we all have different experiences with what gets more or less love/interaction. There are so many factors that play into this and no group is to blame here. No group has it better or worse its just different. And it's incredibly silly to point fingers and claim "oh artists have it better" or "oh writers have it better" babes we ALL have it rough.
Creative works across the board are unappreciated and across the board people are busting ass trying to be seen. No site is perfect and not everyone will get huge amounts of interaction. Let's not get so hung up on trying to figure out who is better off and instead put that energy into uplifting everyone.
if you see fanart you like then consider leaving a reply/comment/tags/ask/etc telling the artist exactly what you like about it! try and put effort into making it longer than 1-2 words! sit and really absorb the art!
if you read a fic you like consider sharing it with others! consider rbing or sharing it, leaving a nice comment, like/kudos, send the author an ask telling them you like it!
we ALL can use more appreciation, but understand we are all people also. no one owes anyone interaction, and guilting people into it and playing petty "i have it worse" games is not the way to go.
love others work. do it openly and passionately but do it to your ability. And realize in fandoms NONE of us magically have it easier just because we make a certain type of creation. It's not a competition. Fandoms are communities built on shared passion and mutual sharing, not marketplaces fighting to be the loudest most successful business
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taywitchcrafts · 1 year
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The Best Day
Inspired by me listening to the best day and crying over how much I love my dad, and by my incurable TLOU brainrot, here is 2k of Joel being an amazing dad, Sarah being an amazing kid, and both of them being happy for fucking once.
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Tags: No Outbreak!AU, WORLD'S BEST DAD JOEL, basically a songfic, there is a speech and I have not written a speech in 6 years so apologies if that sucks. Liberties taken with: depicting the 90s and early 2000s, the way US schools work, the amount of speech development a 3 year old should have. I used the show's timeline for the years, btw. Crossposted to AO3
PLEASE ignore any mistakes, I am disabled, dyslexic and brain foggy.
1992
The kitchen is a veritable mess, a painting set spread across the dining table, and a plastic sheet protecting the wood from staining. Sheets of A4, some wet with paint and some already dry, cover seemingly every surface. Swashbuckling pirates, beautiful princesses, dwarves and poison apples- at least, those were the artistic vision. In reality, they're mostly stick figures with splashes of colour, painted haphazardly by the very focused 3-year-old sat at the table. Sarah babbles half-coherent explanations of everything she paints, and Joel diligently labels them with a biro, sure to tell her that every single one of them is a work of art. Tommy stands in the corner, a camcorder in hand, a smile on his face as he watches his brother and niece. Sarah holds her most recent work of art up for her beloved uncle to see, the watercolour paint running down the page a little- Joel hadn't been able to get proper watercolour paper, hadn't really known where he might, so they're making do with printer paper. It doesn't absorb the paint nearly as well, but it'll dry eventually. He hopes.
Tommy squints at Joel's scribble at the top of the page- Cinderella- and smiles at her. "Belongs in the Louvre, that does." He says, focusing the camcorder on the page. "What's the L-... Louvre?" Sarah asks, taking a moment to get used to the new word. "It's an art museum, sweetheart," Joel says, kissing her forehead. "Uncle Tommy's right. You're a superstar. But even superstars need rest, or they ain't able t'shine. So let's clean you up, and then it's time for bed for you, baby girl." Sarah pouts, but her argument is interrupted by a yawn.
Sitting on the edge of the sink while Joel scrubs her hand, she scrunches up her nose. "Daddy, why doesn't Cinderella just leave, when they're so mean to her?" She asks, with all the gravity of someone asking a politician how they plan to tackle a brewing war. He hums, thinking on how to phrase this. "Sometimes, sweetheart, people are so mean for so long that the people they're being mean to feel like they have no way to get away from it." He frowns. "You ever feel like that, you tell me, yeah? I'll come and get you away. No matter what."
A few minutes later as he tucks her into bed, freshly clean, she reaches up and presses her tiny fingers into his cheek. "You're so strong, Daddy. Like Superman." He smiles down at her. "And you're pretty as a princess, baby girl." He switches her nightlight on, kisses the top of her head. He's about to offer her a story, but she's already fast asleep. He sighs, staring down at her for a few moments.
"I'll keep you safe from anythin' that might hurt ya." He whispers, promising her even though she can't hear him.
1994
When Sarah is 5 years old, Joel takes her to a pumpkin patch. The sky is grey-blue when they arrive, and he makes sure to listen to the weather report on the truck's radio before deciding whether to bring the umbrella out of the back seat. He unclips her from her car seat, and he doesn't even have the door shut before she's running off. His laugh is exasperated but affectionate as he runs after her, hurriedly locking the truck, but she's already lost in a sea of people.
Panic grips him, as well as regret that he didn't take his anxiety pills this morning, and that he didn't think to tell her to hold onto his sleeve while he locked the car so she wouldn't run off. He's looking around desperately, trying to focus more on finding her than the dangers he can see that she could run into, when he catches a glimpse of her- a flash of lavender on the other side of the crowd. Where she gets her speed, her energy, he'll never understand, but he musters his own and runs after her, into a field he's sure they're not meant to be in. Hopefully, farmers understand that whims of a 5-year-old.
He catches up to her only when she comes to a stop, clearly having exhausted her sudden burst of excited energy. He comes to a halt next to her, taking a moment to catch his breath. His physical fitness applies to manual labour, not long-distance sprints. "Sweetheart, you can't just run off like that, you'll give me a heart attack-" He begins, but when he looks down at the way she's smiling, at how her big puffy winter coat makes her look like a penguin dyed lavender, at her fascination with the way the horizon is slowly turning gold, he can't help the affectionate laugh that spills out of him, bringing his gentle lesson to a halt. Sarah glances up at him when she hears his laugh, wrapping her tiny arms around his calf and hugging tight, and he calms immediately. She has that effect on him.
He sits down in the field, among the corn, holding onto the back of her coat to stop her running off as they watch golden hues paint across the sky, fading in places into pinks and purples. He fishes his Fujifilm out of his coat pocket, holding it up to snap a photo of her against the sunset, just as she turns back to smile at him. The result is a candid snap of the grin she reserves only for him, an unreserved beaming smile that warms his heart every time it crosses her face. She sits in his lap as the sky fades to grey, falling asleep with an ease that seems reserved only for kids. They'd done none of the things she'd said she wanted to, but she seemed so happy that he doesn't mind. She's probably forgotten all of it anyway.
He carries Sarah back to the truck, putting the Snow White soundtrack into the cassette player in case she wakes up when he starts it- which, of course, she does. She sings along, quiet and groggy at first but getting louder. As he pulls into the McDonald's drive-thru, she turns to look at him. "Can we go to Snow White's house, Daddy? I wanna tell her she's my favourite." Joel smiles, his heart swelling all over again. "I'll give her a call, sweetheart. See if I can arrange it."
He saves up for months, and takes her to Disneyland for her 6th birthday.
2002
Not long before Sarah finishes middle school, she walks into the house at 4 pm on a Thursday and devolves into a flood of tears. Joel's barely been home 5 minutes, exhausted and aching, but he cradles her in his arms instantly, comforting her in soothing whispers before he even knows the problem. As soon as she's calm enough to explain what happened- how her friends decided out of the blue that they hate her, and never even told her why-he's grabbing the keys to his truck. He lets her pick the tape, and sings along with her even though he hates Atomic Kitten, because he loves her more. He drives until her tears are dry, until she's smiling in the passenger seat and rolling her eyes at his awful jokes.
The town they end up in is miles from home, and he smiles down at her when she clings to his coat sleeve while they queue at a hot dog stand, the same way she used to when she was a tot. They eat their hot dogs on a park bench, while she tells him about how Liz Hurley has just given birth, and what Britney Spears is up to right now. He listens intently, as he always does, even though he's struggling to keep up with the speed of her rambling. When they finish eating he follows her into the nearby mall, making a mental note of anything she says she likes, for birthday gift ideas. He gives her $30 and lets her buy whatever she wants, smiling enthusiastically when she drags him to checkout with a purse shaped like a guitar, a set of plastic bead bracelets and two sweatshirts. It comes to $35, and he doesn't hesitate to hand another 5 dollar bill over, even when she offers to put the bracelets back. She falls asleep in the passenger seat on the drive home, and Joel smiles to himself. She grows more every day- sometimes he swears he blinked the day she was born and ended up 13 years older with a teenager - but Sarah's still his little girl. She still needs her dad, and he's always gonna be there.
Keeping her safe, like he promised her 10 years ago.
2008- May
Joel sits on a rickety plastic chair in a rundown auditorium next to his brother, and watches his baby girl accept her high school diploma. The golden sash around her shoulders makes him swell with pride, and though he promised himself he wouldn't cry, his eyes are watering the second her valedictorian speech begins. Inspiration was the theme she'd told him when he asked, but she'd refused to let him read it. He soon understands why.
"I can talk about my literary inspirations, or my political ones, and you can nod and agree with me, but I wouldn't be doing myself justice." She says, a third of the way into her speech. "But the worst injustice would be to my biggest inspiration of all. My father." Joel's vision blurs with tears, and he's immediately grateful for Tommy's rare moment of foresight in insisting he bring a packet of tissues. "My father is my rock. My biggest supporter and my best friend. He keeps me grounded, he gives me strength. He's on my side even when I'm wrong, but he never lets me dwell in ignorance. Without him, I would never have arrived here. He's been with me through all the hard work, 18 years of painful life lessons and unfortunate regrets- but also the moments of joy and love, the things I'll never forget. He taught me to work, to endure, to keep going no matter what. And he taught me to laugh, and to love, and to find joy even in the mundane. Of all my inspirations, of all the stars I wish upon- my dad shines the brightest."
Joel might as well be sobbing, and he doesn't care a bit who sees him. He'd been worried when Sarah got accepted into Columbia, that her moving so far would create an emotional distance between them, that she'd grow up and forget about her old man. For some reason, it had never occurred to him that she loved him so much that he would be unforgettable. That she would call him her biggest inspiration... He'll be crying over that for the rest of his life. He glances over at Tommy, finding him blubbering just the same. The key difference between them is the camcorder he holds, the same one he's been using to record key moments in her life since he bought it 15 years ago. Joel hadn't even realised he'd brung it with him, but oh, he's so grateful for him in that moment.
A permanent record of the proudest moment in his life- tied only with the day Sarah was born.
2008- July
He takes her to Disneyland again, for her 19th birthday. Just a month before she's due to head off for college. The itinerary is far removed from the one they followed 13 years prior- replacing The Country Bear Jamboree with Star Tours, Goofy's Bounce House with the Haunted Mansion, the Mad Tea Party with Mark Twain's Riverboat. That evening, in the twin hotel room Joel booked, Sarah comes out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth and catches him by surprise with a hug that practically winds him. He's stumped by what prompted such a forceful display of affection, until she looks up at him with tearful eyes and whispers: "I had the best day with you today, Dad."
And Joel realises that excitement for the next step in her adventure isn't the only feeling they share. That the ache in his heart at the idea of leaving her behind in New York next month, the feeling that she's growing up too fast, the need to find a way to grasp the sands of time and slow them down just for a moment, so he doesn't have to let her go- all of that is shared as well.
"Me too, sweetheart." He whispers, kissing her forehead. "The best."
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brandnewhuman · 2 years
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ELIJAH KAMSKI HCS
Starring:
Our fav funky gen Z hermit
CONTENT
Tw: mentions of drugs and mature language
A/N: RANDOM HEADCANONS OF MY FAV BOI LET'S GO. I will probably do more cause at this point Im literally writing more for me than for anyone else. BUT HE'S SO WBHDJDNWJW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I'm over being just normal about him. Shout-out to @bloodlst I TOLD YOU THE RANDOM HCS WERE COMING
@the-anxious-youth tagging you too just in case
\\\
You all are gonna appreciate this man whether you like or not
I'll start by saying that he's always very aware of how people perceive him
He knows everyone thinks of him either as a creep or some sort of narcissistic weirdo
And, while it still hurts him a little bit, he has given up in trying to get liked or appreciated
He knows that whatever he does people will always see him as something he's not
He has used that in his favour, he manipulates this version of himself that people see to achieve what he wants and what he needs
The only people who knows the real him are the Chloe's and Connor at some point
He loves to use terms of endearment with the people he loves
The Chloe's are always his stars, or his lovelies or darlings
Connor would always be called love, dear or beloved
He really likes valentine's day, bro is really romantic really nice
Plus he's fucking rich so he just like to flex how much he's able to spoil his loved ones
I genuinely think he's asexual. Or at least demisexual
AND PANROMANTIC we can't forget that
why? Cause I said so
Talking about relationships he has never been in one
Or rather he has been but they were mostly one-sided cause the person who was with him just wanted something from him didn't really loved him
For a person so apparently cold and distant he has a rather hopeless romantic vibe going on
He definitely wishes for that bookish type of love but it's something he keeps for himself
It just makes him feel too vulnerable to say he does want to be loved that much
He definitely had a Tumblr blog and was pretty popular but never said who he really was
He was really just vibing, taking cute pics and shit
He doesn't really talks about it and it's definitely a touchy subject but the things he experienced as a teenager CEO had really fucked him up
He has managed to be best friend with nines and it's aggravating Gavin to no end
Unpopular opinion but I feel like he would not like Elon musk
I know everyone of you fucking bastards are gonna say it's not true but it is and you'll have to accept it
He never cared about the profits from selling androids, he cared about what they could do to improve
What more they could do and how much they could evolve ecc that's why he was booted out of cyberlife
As I said before he used to struggle with addiction with has led him to be quite paranoid about taking anything even if he really needs it
Something..something about him screams anaemic
My vampire powers are telling me that
During COVID he abused the shit out of netflix
Like he literally watched the most obscure and absurd shit he could find
He deliberately leaves both contact lenses and glasses at home when he has to do an interview or a reunion cause he's that petty
AND BTW THAT INVASION OF CONNOR'S PERSONAL SPACE? I BET HE COULDN'T SEE FUCKING NOTHING AND THAT'S WHY HE WAS ALL UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
He prefers to sleep on his couch rather than in his bed
His bedroom makes him feel alone somehow and he hates feeling like that
He has a tongue piercing
He finds it very hard to cry and sometimes that makes him feel even worse when he has bad days cause he feels like he can't let it out
Every time he spends money he does it because of the Chloe's
The pool? The Chloe's wanted to swim. The art pieces besides Carl Manfred's ones? The Chloe's liked them
He literally doesn't care, as long as they're happy then he's happy
His dreams are always either really fucking weird or really fucking bad there's no in between
He's scared of hospitals and of psychiatrists because he doesn't trust them and has an irrational fear of getting sent to a mental hospital
His wardrobe consist of like two or three elegant suits and the rest is band or graphic T-Shirt, hoodies and sweatshirt
He really doesn't likes to have to dress too formal
Carl was his only human friend and the og Chloe is the only friend he had left
Before them there was Gavin but they grew apart
Now obviously he has nines and Connor and even Gavin is coming around him again but for the longest time he didn't had anyone else besides Chloe
He's very hard to upset or offend cause half of the stuff one could say he has either already heard it or it's something that he thinks of himself already
It's always cold, like FR this man temperature is not fucking normal
As soon as he was able to leave his family behind he tried all the things he wasn't allowed to do
Which led to him learning how to play music again
He enjoys playing piano but prefers the ukulele because of practical reasons since it's more easy to carry around
He enjoys animating stuff too
He's weirdly good with kids, like those little gremlins adore him and no one can figure out why
He enjoys cleaning, in fact he does most cleaning around the house
He lets the Chloe's try makeup on him and, if they ask him to, he does their makeup too
Lives his life with a constant migraine but he's used to it
Those days where it gets really bad he just locks himself in his study with all lights off and without anything making any sound cause he refuses to take any medicine
He really likes hugs but never ask for them
He always smells either of something minty and fresh or of rose water
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brown-little-robin · 2 years
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tumblr year in review—but only the interesting parts!
I posted 4,072 times in 2022. That's 3,137 more posts than 2021! (yeah, because I joined tumblr in August 2021. Looks like my posting actually slowed down this year!
595 posts created (15%)
3,477 posts reblogged (85%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@swinging-stars-from-satellites
@lovesodeepandwideandwell
@thatfriendlyanon
@bluesidedown
@called-kept
many other very beloved friends!
I tagged 3,787 of my posts in 2022
Only 7% of my posts had no tags
#art - 193 posts (I've mostly stopped using that tag now. It was too broad... as you can tell :P)
#aesthetic - 147 posts (sounds about right)
#batfam - 144 posts (y u p)
#strange redemption intertextuality - 140 posts (NICE. finding these quotes is one of the most fun parts of tumblr to me.)
#yes - 110 posts (listen, I just REALLY AGREE with a lot of things!)
#on living softly - 101 posts (huh! neat!)
#mob-blogging - 99 posts (I didn't think I posted THAT much mob, but okay!)
#ahahahaha - 91 posts (yeah I like laughing in tag form)
#tim drake - 90 posts (blorbo <3<3<3)
#god's beasts - 87 posts (YEAH BABY. CREATURES)
My Top Posts in 2022:
Humans are essentially homesick for heaven. (I still stand by that, even though having a post I wrote in a feverish sort of haze going everywhere was kind of anxiety-inducing.)
Throgmorten drawing (hims grumpy :3)
HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH explanation (very sweet! I love that it got reblogged a lot)
Jason Todd and Tim Drake comparison (cool! I liked that!)
"Every writer should have readers who never point out flaws about their work". (Hnnn. Some sad things happened with that post. Oh well, I still stand by that idea!)
#5
I say this with the sincerest belief: every writer should have someone who never points out flaws about their work, ever, and that they trust to never do that, ever.
Writers should also have people who do point out flaws about their work, of course, because that’s how their work can get better.
But!! For the emotional ability of writers to keep writing, to believe that their writing is worth doing, it is essential to have safe-haven readers. People we can take writing to and know they’ll remind us why we write.
Readers and commenters can fill different needs: improving writing, and ensuring writing.
189 notes - Posted April 28, 2022
#4
Jason is too OPEN. Tim is too GUARDED. They have the same emotions (YOU ARE FAMILY I LOVE YOU I AM HURT AND LONELY) but they deal with them in two ways:
Jason: he’s an open book, a bleeding heart, a scream of defiance & pain & rage. He takes all his giant emotions and pours them out in a river in front of his loved ones’ feet and DEMANDS answers. He burns his bridges before others can burn them because he is saying LOOK AT THIS, IT’S RUINED, RIGHT? IT’S RUINED, RIGHT? —not realizing that, if he hadn’t set the bridges on fire, they would have still been there—broken, maybe, damaged, but still there, still fixable.
Tim: he’s a closed book, a chained-up heart, a locked jaw, a stifled scream. He takes his emotions and tells them river, run in your proper course and do not leave that course; don’t you dare flood. He lets his bridges rot because if he says “this bridge is getting worn down” too often, he will be acknowledging that something is wrong with him. What if his loved ones tell him that he’s at fault for letting their bridges fall into disrepair again? What if, even worse, they decide that the bridge is an eyesore and decide to remove it altogether? No, no, no, better to isolate himself on his island and just keep the structure of the bridges intact enough for him to survive. No need to call attention to their state of decay.
213 notes - Posted September 22, 2022
#3
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If I tell you “HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY” this is what I mean, btw. I’m not drunk, I promise. (image description under the cut)
[begin image description. A page from Winnie the Pooh. It has an illustration of Owl biting a pencil. It says:
“Can you read, Pooh?” he asked, a little anxiously. “There’s a notice about knocking and ringing outside my door, which Christopher Robin wrote. Could you read it?”
“Christopher Robin told me what it said, and then I could.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what this says, and then you’ll be able to.”
So Owl wrote... and this is what he wrote:
HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA
BTHUTHDY.
end image description.]
222 notes - Posted June 6, 2022
#2
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Throgmorten, the Asheth Temple Cat and thoroughly cranky beast. Look out, or he’ll tear strips off you!
295 notes - Posted January 23, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Humans are essentially homesick for heaven and lonely for God. Or vice versa. We want a person so big that we can sink into them like a bedroom and a bedroom so lovely it embraces us like a friend.
477 notes - Posted June 2, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
10 notes · View notes
unclewarwick · 2 years
Text
people are like im 37 years old and assumedly have a whole life with a job and friends but i spend sooo much energy thinking about how the biggest problem in the world is that pedophilic content is censored and not easily available and i make infographics about it and how awesome it is to be attracted to children and how it is ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR to tell someone online that it’s disgusting, and actually i think it’s just like homophobia (i’m allowed to say that because i’m queer) and we need to celebrate our FREEDOM to do anything we want (be attracted to children) and if you point out my age YOU’RE BEING AGEIST and we cherish our precious incest ships because there’s nothing better than a story about forbidden love (and if someone is trying to CENSOR a specific kind of story, that means it should be celebrated so much more [i hate oppression sooo much... btw i hate most Black characters, for mysterious reasons]) and also i have a huge over-reliance on tropes because there’s absolutely no substance to what i write and everything i read has to be the same story over and over again and i have mental breakdowns over people telling me every day that im a bad person? that i am dangerous to kids (again, i’m queer so this kind of statement sounds very suspicious and familiar. ignore the fact that i enjoy sexual content about children)? that i should touch grass? that i should stop pretending criticism of people like me spawns from puritanical beliefs? that i should stop pretending this is meaningful commentary on fandom culture? that i should stop reminiscing about the good ol’ days (REMEMBER FANDOM HISTORY!!! THIS IS FOR SOME REASON SO INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!!!!! REMEMBER WHERE YOU CAME FROM!!! WHY ARE WE ACTING LIKE THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT CULTURAL THING!!) when apparently everyone in fandom loved pedophilia, before you pesky KIDS came along and ruined it.......... oh.............. that i should stop pretending my ideology is against bullying and harassment (ignore how i sic my badass pedophile friend group onto people to make clumsy insults about them if someone DARES to try to say anything critical about me flaunting my attraction to children)? that i am repulsive and my life has no value and i add nothing to this world and i should die HEY WAIT that sounds exactly like fascism, don’t those guys try to eradicate certain types of people? you seriously want to do a pedophile genocide? oh, you’re just saying it on an individual basis and you don’t think there should be a systemic ability to kill people for any reason? i can’t believe you openly hurl DEATH THREATS at people... isn’t that morally reprehensible? what if i said i think people are born this way? i can’t change this about me, so why should it be condemned (ignore how it’s very much a choice to seek out pedophilic media and constantly engage with it and spends hours upon hours drawing or writing that shit and posting about it and making it my entire personality and life)? am i supposed to just NOT reply obsessively to each and every comment that rightfully upset fourteen year olds leave on my posts and act like i deserve a reminder every second of the day that my choices are fucking terrible and i make a very dangerous environment for everyone, but especially young people who simply want to talk about their cartoons in peace? am i just not supposed to post my explicitly sexual art of the characters while using the main tags and putting no kind of warning (ignore how i love to tell people to curate their online experience and say that we ALWAYS make it easy to avoid seeing this shit) hey also, this time, the art wasn’t even depicting characters who are minors so i don’t know what you people are getting so upset about! i can’t believe every single one of you folx who are AGAINST people like me definitely all know each other and all communicate in a giant group chat and talk about how to conspire against us innocents! i can’t believe that you would say such things to VICTIMS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE (nobody else except us has ever actually experienced this btw and differing views are just wrong, but i am totally a reasonable normal person) or say that our background means nothing regarding our choices and actually makes it worse because we use our victimhood as a way to groom people into our cult or try to soften what we really get up to or that we encourage abuse victims to read triggering content because no no it’s soooo healing and normal and healthy - ONE therapist i heard of said it was okay - or if you have intrusive thoughts because of ocd, you should also totally engage with pedophilic content- have you ever heard of immersion therapy? it’s the exact same thing and it won’t do anything weird to your brain at ALL and you’ll have really regular, healthy perceptions of the world and people, and be able to interact with others in a really Usual and Not odd way. if you have a problem with my online presence then uhhhh i think you’re a big whiny snowflake, you’re probably like TWELVE years old (i evidently really hate kids, they’re ALWAYS pestering me and snivelling so uh KIDS DNI, but also i just read smut involving a kid this same age) and you wouldn’t survive anywhere in the REAL world... but anyway yeah, fiction has no affect on reality and that’s why i have such a tight grip on all this fiction i enjoy and spend every waking moment of my day thinking about.
also please tag any criticism about media i like. it will ruin my day if i see a worldview that differs from mine, or anything that adds complexity or nuance to my interests. thank you.
0 notes
kiwinatorwaffles · 3 years
Note
Sorry if this is a lil random :p but every now and again I like to check my source's tag (aka welsknight) to see whatever new content might pop up which means a few times I've seen some stuff from you and I just wanted to leave a note relating to your AU! (A friendly one ofc)
Hope it's understandable for a fictive to want to ask people to be careful with these things; I wanna ask that you be careful with Wels and Hels in your AU, since it can be very iffy for people to make a hermit and their evil counterpart sharing a body, especially when singlets (aka non-systems) are doing it, considering one of if not the most common and overused DID stereotype is "2 identities in a body and one is evil".
It can be kind of difficult to be cautious with things like that even just with possession-type concepts which is why generally its,, honestly better avoided but ofc I'm not gonna police your content and tell you to change it lol. I'll just try my best to let you know how you can be a lil careful with it:
(Also this is just in general not like,, me going off of anything you have or haven't done :p I haven't actually read into details it's just been me seeing things in passing so I'm not saying you've done anything necessarily or making assumptions)
>Don't call anything switching or similar! Switching is very much a system term so it's a big no for things like this
>Make sure it's clear that they're separate people/entities with their own physical forms that aren't just a mental image of some sort (if it was just mental images it would be too similar to alters only having appearances in the headspace)
>Assuming its Hels possessing Wels, only refer to Wels' body as Wels. Don't call it "the body" or similar because that's also a system term. Just refer to it as Wels being possessed and whatnot
>If they're not already made to be separate, I'd recommend you make them separate, if you make Hels some sort of extra consciousness inside of Wels then its gonna be too similar to making Hels like an evil alter
>I'd maybe even recommend you try to look into stereotypes/stigmas relating to DID/OSDD systems and make sure that you're not doing anything that looks similar to any of them
>Make sure that you don't let anyone indulging in your AU describe or view them as anything even remotely close to a system! Basically just make sure people can clearly see that they're separate and not calling either of them alters or referring to anything as switching or etc etc
/nm btw! It's just that there's been problems in the fandom before with people calling evil hermits "evil alters" and as a fictive it's really eegghhh to see, even moreso as a Welsknight fictive for me personally. I hope this doesn't come off as demanding or anything!! You're obviously free to have fun with things, I just ask that you be a bit careful not to accidentally mimic things that are close to stereotypical system representations/portrayals :) It's easy for people to accidentally make concepts similar to stereotypes without necessarily realizing it. I also hope this wasn't too long of a note awawa
And I hope you have a nice day/night/etc! Again I have seen a few bits from you just from tag browsing and I do love your art style :]!
-C⚔
oh, YEAH! sorry if this came to any misunderstanding!!
i guess i should explain the context of my au a little but just to clear things up? because i was careful about this when developing things as to not making any offensive stereotypes
hels and wels’s trope in this au is specifically made to go against any stereotypes of the “evil alter” and “evil ghost possessing body” trope. they do not share a body in the slightest, and they are made very clear throughout the story that they are separate beings with distinct looks and personalities in their forms, outside of the possession.
i made sure not use any of the common stereotypes that often cause stigma, and i even looked to a friend of mine who is a system to confirm that i am not making anything offensive and that i am portraying their situation with positive notes rather than anything evil.
and since i am answering this ask publicly, i don’t want to reveal any more due to any possible spoilers, but you are more than free to message me for any details! i would be happy to answer any questions or explain their situation in full for you!
29 notes · View notes
cutesuki--bakugou · 4 years
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Anything
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Rating:  Explicit
Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), Rough Oral Sex (blow job, face fucking), Spanking / Whipping (with a drumstick), Obsessive Reader, Toxic / Power Imbalanced Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Suggested Dubcon / Reluctant / Compliant Reader
Words: 10,418 
Pairing: Drummer!Bakugou Katsuki x Superfan!Fem!Reader
Quirkless, Punk rock band AU
BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~
Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+
Tags: @lady-bakuhoe​, @gallickingun​, @mirakumiruku​, @wakaoujisenhime​, @sunnieskies02​, @hisoknen​
Art in banner by me.
This was incredibly frustrating. Finally, after years of admiring and being an incredibly dedicated fan, you were standing in front of your favorite punk rock band. They were just a few feet from you, so close that you could reach out and touch them. How badly you wanted their full and undivided attention was near suffocating, and yet, it was so difficult for you to find the courage to speak at all. You had given them your name after you had been brought backstage for the meet up, which was a perk of the insanely expensive VIP tickets you and your friends had purchased. 
That’s all that you had been able to say. Your friend, however, was absolutely bursting with questions. You were very close to her, but damn, you wished that she would just stop talking long enough for someone else to get a word in. All day you had been brooding over what you wanted to ask, what you wanted to say to these men that had been such a huge part of your life for the last few years. Their music had inspired you, made you cry, pumped you up so much that you’d jump around your room and just jam out. But, more than that, they had saved you. You didn’t know how to explain it, or even how it happened in the first place, but you had truly begun to feel like their existence is what you lived for. 
Was that unhealthy? Probably. But who could blame you? You loved every single one of them. All five men were like your best friends, and you felt so close to them from your time following them on social media and attending their concerts. You knew them like the back of your hand, from birthdays, to favorite food, drinks, hobbies, past or current girlfriends, and you had even found out their personal telephone numbers. Had you ever called them? No, of course not. That would be creepy. 
Midoriya Izuku, the band leader and lead singer, was being the most engaging as far as answering questions. Unlike their punkish attire and aesthetic, he was like sunshine, incredibly friendly and soft with his curly green hair and freckled cheeks. He was adorable, able to make all the little fangirls scream and squeal with his grin and a cheeky wink. 
Todoroki Shouto, lead guitar and backup singer, was the quiet pretty boy of the group, breaking hearts with his intense and piercing stare. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a soft side to him, but more than anything, he was extremely dense, and his genuine confusion was what made him so desirable. 
Kirishima Eijirou, second guitar, was another ray of sunshine amongst the black clothes and punk piercings. He loved to get the crowd riled up, his endless energy and cheery personality infectious. Out of everyone, he was the most openly friendly without a hint of shyness and treated everyone like he had known them forever. 
Kaminari Denki, bass guitar, was the group idiot. He was nice, but often did and said things that could get the group into trouble or make a fool of himself in the public eye. Funny and playful, he could make anyone laugh, either from a joke or from just being a silly fool. 
Although you adored them all, one of them had you in his grip, like your heart had been locked in a vice that grew tighter every time you saw him. The fifth member, Bakugou Katsuki, was your absolute dream man. Rough, arrogant, mean, and foul mouthed, he was the bands second in command, drummer, and backup singer for moments that required his deep and gruff voice. God, he was everything you ever wanted in a partner. Boyfriend. Husband. Whatever! You wanted him so badly that you dreamed about it constantly, picturing yourself in those strong arms or having those calloused hands on your body. Much to your misfortune, he was the most private on social media, so there was still a lot about him that you didn’t know. 
That was one of his most attractive qualities to you. His mystery and his silence. What was he really like? Was he this grumpy and off putting with those close to him? Did he have a gentle side of any kind?
You wanted to know everything about him! But, standing here in front of the entire band, you were frozen, not able to make a squeak. Even your eyes were locked on the floor, unable to look up at them in fear that you would gawk a little too intensely. Or start crying. One of the two would happen, probably. 
Your chance to interact with your heroes was slipping by with each moment, however, and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to have this chance again. What did you want to say? What questions had you thought about? You had a million of them, all you had to do was just say one. Something. Anything! 
“Bakugou-!” 
The name slipped from your lips in a sharp snap, which tapered off at the end with a tremble. Just as the sweet name left your lips, your eyes darted up, catching the confused and irritated crimson glare of the blonde drummer. At first, you were taken aback by his current appearance, still flushed and sweaty from the concert performance. His blonde spiked locks were wild and unruly, bangs stuck to the sweaty skin of his forehead and cheeks. He was so handsome, all messy and hot--
“U-uhm…” Your friend that stood beside you gave you a nudge in the side, though she was unable to pull your gaze away from Bakugou, who’s annoyed snarl made your heart begin to race. “[Name], I was about to ask something else…” 
“What’d you want to say, you damn shitty extra.” Bakugou barked at you, ignoring your friends' whine at being interrupted. “Don’t just bark out my name and then stand there like a fucking moron.” That gruff and demanding voice was intoxicating, making you involuntarily clench your thighs together and clutch at the fabric of your skirt.
“I… I was wanting to know. Uhm,” Your eyes darted across his face and his chest as you tried to think of what you had been wanting to ask him. You couldn’t remember for the life of you, but as your gaze landed on the piercing he had on the bridge of his nose, a thought popped into your head and curiosity flourished instantly. “How many piercings do… do you have?” 
Bakugou’s eyebrow cocked in initial confusion at the question, before returning to its usual furrowed position. “The fuck? That’s kind of personal, ain’t it?” 
“I’ll tell you how many I have.” You weren’t sure if the teasing, flirtatious sound of your voice was purposeful or not, but just hearing yourself made the tips of your ears flush. “Five types… Nine piercings total. I bet you beat me on that, hm?” 
“Tch, that’s fucking nothing, you little punk poser. I have nine types, thirteen total.” Bakugou shoved his hands into the pockets of his loose shorts, pulling the fabric down just enough to show the skin of his left hip and a peak of his boxers. One of the stated piercings gleamed in the light once exposed, and it took all your willpower to not hyper focus on it. “Not like you’ll ever know them all or see them.” 
“I bet I could guess.” “You’d fucking fail, moron-”
“A-ah, let’s not!” Midoriya interrupted, giving a nervous laugh and a wave of his hand to pull your attention off Bakugou. “We’re not here to talk about such personal things, you know! Right, Kacchan?” 
“I don’t give a fuck,” Bakugou shifted his weight from his right foot to his left, giving an annoyed click of his tongue. “I’m not in the mood for this bullshit.” 
“Why?” You once again spoke without thinking. “Because you missed your cue during Collide?” The accusation immediately had Bakugou’s eyes widening in surprise before he scoffed, glaring crimson daggers at you.  
“Well aren’t you just a fucking super fan.” 
“I try to be.” Although you knew that he wasn’t kind to you, the fact that he noticed your extreme interest in the band made your cheeks flush, looking down at the ground between your black combat boots. The t-shirt you had paired with your skirt was your favorite that you owned of the bands merchandise, and just seeing it as you gaze down over your chest made your stomach bubble nervously. Was it really that obvious? Was it weird to him? Did he like it? 
“Ah, well, anyway!” Your friend piped in again, taking a step closer to Midoriya with a sparkle in her eyes. “Deku! Please, tell us about your girlfriend!” 
Midoriya instantly went into his flustered state of rubbing the back of his head, his stuttering and embarrassed gibberish cracking with his exhausted voice, leaving you once again off to the sidelines. With a small, quiet sigh, you fiddled with the hem of your skirt, more questions burning on the tip of your tongue. In your down casted vision, you saw Bakugou’s feet shift, and there wasn’t a second thought in your mind about looking up at him. Your gaze immediately locked with his, which was still a dark and threatening glare. 
Your heart instantly skipped a beat, the heat in your cheeks growing hotter. Had he already been looking at you? Why was he glaring so intensely? You didn’t think that he would get upset with the mention of his mistake that you had pointed out, but perhaps he had gotten embarrassed? In truth, you hadn’t meant your statement to be argumentative in any way. You were more concerned about him. Messing up during a performance was a big deal, and though most people might not have noticed, you were curious if it was eating at him or if he just doesn’t care. 
Then, he made a move that you didn’t expect. With a quiet click of his tongue, he began to make his way out of the room, only stopping at the door when Kirishima spoke up. 
“Woah, man, where are you going?” The redhead interrupted Midoriya, who also looked at Bakugou curiously. 
“I work a lot harder than all of you assholes during a show! I’m sick of fucking standing around, and these losers aren’t even interesting. I’ll be in my room.” Before anyone could stop him, the door slammed shut with his exit, and you turned your attention to Midoriya as he sighed. 
“A-aha, I’m sorry about Kacchan! He’s uh… he doesn’t like meetups much.” 
“That’s a shame…” You mumbled under your breath, already missing his presence. You could still feel that glare on you, so threatening and dangerous. This had been your chance to really make yourself stand out from the crowd and show him how genuinely interested you were in him, and you wasted it. You cared about him more than these other women that fawned over him like brainless zombies. You were perfect for him. You knew you were, without a doubt, and you wanted him. 
It was true that the rest of the band members were close to your heart, that you admired all of them as your heroes. But Bakugou… You had just ruined your chance to talk with him and get to know him. 
There wasn’t anything else you could do.
“Is there a bathroom I can use?” Your question once again popped out of your mouth during the middle of a conversation, though instead of stopping it, Kirishima smiled at you sweetly. His kind face and gentle touch to your arm to lead you away from the group so he could talk to you had your heart racing, almost too scared to take a step in fear that you’d trip with how distracted you were by his face. 
“Yeah, babe. Go left down the hall, you’ll see it marked. Don’t get yourself into trouble, m’kay?” 
B-babe? Aahh, why would he call me that? He’s too sweet for his own good. Cheeks flushing, you gave a small nod, thanking him quietly before heading out of the room, taking a final quick glance at the group behind you to catch Kirishima giving you a playful wave. Of course, by the time you stepped outside into the hallway, Bakugou had already vanished. Using what you had remembered of the route to get to this room from backstage, you hadn’t seen anything that was labeled as a changing room for any of the men. So, you went left down the hall as you had originally been instructed, glancing at each door you passed to see if there were any names scribbled on the dry erase board many of them sported. 
Your heart nearly stopped when you finally saw it. Bakugou Katsuki, written in red marker with a shitty doodle of what looked to be a hand holding up the middle finger, along with the words “fuck off”. Before going in, you took a moment to press your ear up against the door, listening closely to see if there were any signs of life. There wasn’t a single sound or hint of movement, so gathering your courage and glancing up and down the hall for danger, you took hold of the doorknob, your heart beginning to race as it moved without resistance. 
With a quiet click, the door opened, not making another sound as you cracked it just enough to look inside. The lights were on, and your suspicions that he hadn’t been inside were confirmed. Feeling a bit discouraged, you considered just going back to the room to finish off your time with the rest of the band. That would probably be enough to satisfy your longing for them, right? The others could be great company, and maybe Bakugou would come back before you left. 
But, deep in your chest, you could feel the need to be with Bakugou alone to talk to him one on one. You wanted his attention more than anything, and you knew that there wasn’t going to be another chance for you to see him this close again any time soon. No, you couldn’t run away. You had already come too far to back out now. What’s the worst he could do? Kick you out? Call security to have you removed? Call you names? Press you up against the wall and threaten you? 
Ah, well, maybe that wasn’t all that bad. You’d probably melt in his hands and collapse on the floor in a blushing puddle of tears if he so much as touched you. 
Gathering your resolve, you pushed yourself on into the room, walking lightly and glancing this way and that to make sure he wasn’t just laying on some furniture or something to take a nap. Feeling confident that he wasn’t in the room, you shut the door behind you with a light click, taking a few timid steps into the room. Almost instantly, you were completely engulfed by the scent of his body spray, which you had only been faintly able to pick up while in the group. It was such a powerful scent, bold and intense, just like him. How quickly just the simple scent of him made your core burning hot was a bit staggering, feeling your knees already growing weak and your chest growing tight. 
This is harder than I thought… Just from smelling him like this I feel like I’m going crazy. And he’s not even in here! I should leave before I get too distracted… But… This is his stuff! 
Beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed being in the presence of Bakugou’s possessions, your teary gaze scanned the room methodically, surprised to see that the room was actually very well kept. With his brash personality, you more expected Bakugou’s personal space to be a wreck, but the only thing that was really out of place was a small pile of clothes tossed aside next to a suitcase. A desire to be close to Bakugou driving you, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as you made your way towards it, squatting down. Right on top was the tank top he had just been wearing, still soaked with his sweat. It was the most recent thing that had touched his body. It still had his essence all over it. How could you just leave it there? 
Picking it up, you brought the shirt up to your nose, inhaling deeply. It was absolutely delicious, your body quivering from the excitement and adrenaline beginning to pump through your veins. You were actually holding one of Bakugou’s sweaty shirts in your hands, one that he had just performed in! This was absolutely real. It wasn’t a dream!
Becoming overwhelmed with your feelings for him, you flopped back to sit on your butt, spreading your legs open. Since you were wearing fishnet hose with decently large holes, you had direct access to your already soaked pussy, the little lace thong easily moved aside. Now, all that existed to you was the scent wafting off his shirt and your fingers eagerly stroking your sex, alternating between stroking your clit and digging two of your fingers inside you. The cloth of the t-shirt pressed up against your lips and nose, you panted and moaned softly against it, imagining that you were right up against his chest, his fingers teasing your cunt. 
You were so engrossed in your fantasy that you could even hear him taunting you, that deep growl of his voice in your ear. 
“That’s right, babygirl. You like when I finger that slutty pussy, don’t you?” 
“You’re so fucking wet, you little whore. Dripping all for me.” 
“Getting horny just from the smell on my clothes? You dirty fuck.” 
“What the fuck are you doing?!” 
The sudden rattling boom of a familiar yell startled you out of your pleasant daydream, turning your moan into a squeal as you nearly jumped out of your skin. Spinning around, you were met with the wide-eyed shocked crimson glare of your dream man, who was standing halfway in the room, as if he had stopped in his tracks upon seeing you. All you could do was sit there in shock, still holding his shirt up to your face as your other hand tried to pull your skirt down between your legs, as if to hide your sin. 
“I,” Stuttering, you tried to gather yourself, clenching your thighs together tightly. “I, uhm, Bakugou, it’s not- How’d you… get in?” 
His shocked expression contorted into one of confusion, then into annoyance, his brows furrowed deeply as he startled at you. “Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t lock the door, ya dumb cunt.” Walking the rest of the way inside, he slammed the door shut loudly behind him, startling you again enough to scurry back against the wall, your knees pulled up to your chest protectively. “What the fuck are you even questioning me for? You’re the horny bitch sitting on my floor sniffing my fucking clothes and touching yourself.” Without having to look back at the doorknob, Bakugou gave the little lock a twist, setting the latch firmly in place. 
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you could only stare at him, your eyes captivated by that fierce glare. How hot he made you only intensified now that he was back in your presence, and more than that, the asshole was even shirtless. His flawless muscular figure made your mouth feel dry, as if any and all liquid your body could produce was pooling between your legs. It was everything you could do not to start touching yourself again, clutching onto his shirt with both hands tightly. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I-” 
“You’re just a damn psycho fan, aren’t ya?” Reaching up to give his hair a quick ruffle, Bakugou started making his way towards you, his ruined and ragged skater shoes squeaking against the smooth wooden floor. “I’m surprised you didn’t rip your shirt off during the fucking concert and throw your bra on stage.” 
“I’m not stupid like those girls… I have dignity. And I don’t want a bunch of other people seeing my tits anyway.” Your voice lowered down to a meek whisper by the time he stood in front of you, both of his hands on his hips, as if he were about to scold you like an angry parent. With him so close, your eyes glanced over every inch of his bare torso, drinking in how absolutely flawless he was. What was even more enticing was the piercings he had so proudly boasted about not long ago, a pair of them placed on his collarbones, nipples, and hips. 
“Tch, dignity?” Bakugou scoffed, a sly smirk crossing his lips. “‘Dignity’, the little slut says, as she sits on the floor in my dressing room fucking herself to the stench on my shirt. Pathetic.” 
“What are… Are you going to kick me out?” 
“There’s a lot that I could do to you,” Bakugou’s smirk turned wicked, his lips curling up to show his gums. “But how about you tell me what the fuck you were doing in here?” 
“I just… I really wanted to get an autograph or picture with you. You’re my,” Your breath caught in your throat, not wanting to let it slip that he was your absolute dream man. “You’re my favorite band member.” 
“Then what are you doing with my clothes?” 
An intense burning suddenly rushed to your cheeks with a new round of embarrassment, and with it came the stinging sensation of tears building up in your eyes. What had you been doing? You had just wanted to talk to him more, to get to know him better, and just spend time with your hero. And yet, you had let yourself get completely overwhelmed by a burning desire for him, one that was just too strong to ignore in the moment of solitude with his possessions. You knew that you had a very intense crush on him, but that bad and that… gross? You had told yourself over and over that you weren’t like the desperate women who would do anything filthy to get his attention, yet here you were, sniffing his clothes and touching yourself. 
“I… I don’t know what I was doing.” Your voice quivered as you avoided looking at him, trying to blink the tears away. “That was really gross of me. I had just… wanted to see you in private. I wasn’t getting a chance to talk to you, to any of you, and… I just wanted my chance.” 
“You wanted your chance, eh?” Bakugou brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing it as if he were in thought, contemplating his options. “So much that you’d sneak into my room, to wait for me or try to corner me?” 
Swallowing the lump that had grown in your throat, you coward down back against the wall, wishing that you could just shrink away in shame. Your impulses had completely ruined your chances. He had to think you were a total freak by now, he’d never want to even give you the time of day. 
“Ya know,” Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, taking a half step closer to you. His posture and presence over you was so aggressive and domineering that you couldn’t find it in yourself to move, only pulling your legs up tighter to your chest to try and get further away from him. “You talk all big, saying that you’re not like those other extras out there that’ll drop their pants in seconds for me. That you have ‘dignity’. But I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re just like those other sluts out there, a stupid whore that is driven by nothing but her cunt.” 
You gave a small shake of your head, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs and the swirling in your stomach from how he was treating you. You couldn’t believe it was turning you on so much. “No, I… That isn’t what I wanted.” 
“I think it is. You’re disgusting. Nothing but a filthy super fan and a stalker. Why don’t you just admit it?” 
“Because… It’s not true. I love you, but not… It’s not all like that.” 
“If you loved me, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” The change in tone caught you off guard, his voice no longer accusatory and vicious. Instead, his growl was almost soothing, as if he were trying to calm your frantic thoughts of failure. “You’d do anything to stay in the same room as me. To just be able to fucking look at me or get a shitty autograph, hm?” 
“I would… yes.” Your heart racing, you tried to blink away the tears still prickling in your eyes, but they were persistent. “But if you want me to leave, I’ll… do that, too. I shouldn’t have come here like this in the first place…” 
“You regret it?” Bakugou moved his hands back to his hips, his fingers resting against the pristine shape of his hips with such rugged and confident posture. You were so conflicted on your feelings, and that question only made your throat grow tight. Did you regret it? All your actions up to this point had gotten you here, alone in his room with him, and no matter what the interaction was or may end up being, just getting to be here was a dream come true. 
But what would you do? Would you really do anything he asked of you? Anything? In truth, you didn’t think that you had the courage and you would just annoy him until he kicked you out. What would he even want from you in the first place? You weren’t innocent enough to not have noticed the bulge beneath the zipper of his shorts, pressing up into the fabric. Was this entire situation, having you cowering on the floor in front of him like this, actually turning him on? Did he… like you, then? Was he attracted to you? 
“I asked you a question.” Bakugou snapped when you didn’t answer him, leaning forward a bit to glower down at you with that typical snarl. 
“I don’t… I don’t regret it. I just don’t want to upset you.” 
“Aw, don’t want to upset me, eh?” With a click of his tongue, Bakugou’s snarl stretched into a smirk. “Poor little stalker, scared to upset me. Don’t worry, babygirl. Just do what I ask, and you won’t upset me.” 
“Really? You’re not upset?” 
“Not at all, babe. But you have to do what I say. You’ll do anything for me, won’t you?” The condescending growl of his voice was lost to you, only able to latch on to the pet names and hope of getting back on his good side.
“Yes.” 
“Because you’re not like those other girls. You're my number one fan. Aren’t you?” 
A new burning of heat and tears flared up, unable to stop the happy smile on your lips. “Yes. Yes! I am! I love you so much-”
“Get on your knees.” 
Smile faltering, you were confused by the demand, looking up at Bakugou through your gathered tears. “What?” 
“Get on your fucking knees.” Bakugou snapped again, the gleam in his glare almost… sinister. Still, there was something in you that begged for you to comply, and just like your impulses earlier, you couldn’t ignore it. Squeezing the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands, you slowly shifted yourself up onto your knees as demanded, though the space between him and the wall was limited. Worried about your face being too close to his crotch, you sat back mostly on your legs, but he was quick to correct you. 
“All the way up on your knees.” 
Nibbling at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself up to be kneeling, your eyes glancing and looking everywhere but at the crotch of his baggy blank punk shorts, which reached his knees and ended in tattered fabric. The chains on both hips rattled lightly as he shifted his weight to his other foot, and that slight sound pulled your eyes to look at them, and thus at his crotch. At this angle, you could truly see how strained he was, the form of his cock clearly visible. The heat in your cheeks grew fiercer just thinking about what was just a few inches from your nose, and what was worse, the smell of him was overwhelming all your senses. He must have just recently reapplied his spray after sweating like mad for hours on end, but even his natural scent was enticing. 
“What are you looking at, babe?” 
Bakugou’s voice broke you out of your stupor, bringing you to look up at his face. “Nothing… Just, well…” Your voice tapered off, unable to find it within you to ask him. He obviously had a boner, but what the hell did that mean?
“Open your mouth. Keep those pretty eyes on my face.” His commands had grown softer, as if he were purring at you to keep you compliant. Opening your mouth as told, you peered up at him through your lashes, tilting your head back a little. The way his smirk grew had your skin tingling, but that isn’t what had all your attention. Your focus was on his hips, listening to the rustling of fabric and watching the movement of his arms through your peripheral vision. “Good girl. Now stick out your tongue. And don’t move.” 
Slowly, your tongue lolled out, and the low groan he gave in satisfaction of your obedience had you opening your mouth wider. As you sat there waiting for him, you could feel the saliva beginning to dribble down your chin and along the length of your tongue, gathering in a slick pool before dripping off the tip of your tongue to the floor. 
Suddenly, you felt a hard and hot presence slap against your tongue, making you squeak and recoil back. Though, before you could get far, your hair was in Bakugou’s fist, yanking you back up into position and peering up at him in shocked fear. He was visibly agitated, but his smirk was still wide, teeth bared. 
“What do you think you’re doing, slut? I said don’t move. You told me you’d do anything I say.” 
Trembling now, you pulled your gaze from his to look at his hips, pressing your lips together tightly as you gazed upon his erect cock. As he held it steady with his free hand, you couldn’t help but take in every detail, from the girth and length, the prominent veins and ridges, and the frenum barbell piercing nestled just under the blushing head. It was truly the most attractive cock you had ever seen in your life, and a fire began to rage in your core as you realized that was what had just hit your tongue. 
Bakugou’s cock… He… He wants me to suck him off? What if I’m not good enough… I shouldn’t! 
You could feel the heat of your essence beginning to dribble down your thighs, your poor excuse for underwear and hose completely soaked through. You could feel the throbbing all the way into your stomach, and it was impossible to deny that you were the horniest you had ever been. But this isn’t what you had expected or wanted to do. Was it? 
“That’s what you said, isn’t it?” Bakugou pulled your head a bit closer, giving you a few rough smacks to the cheek with his impressive cock. “You would do anything for me.” With your lips still tightly closed, he ran the tip of his cock across them, smearing his precum along your skin. “So be a good girl and give my cock a little kiss. Be sweet, now.” 
Although the demand was embarrassing, the pressure of his grip on your hair and his cock literally at your lips made you feel like you truly didn’t have a choice. He was in control of all of this. He could do anything he wanted. He could get you arrested, even. You had to do what he said, not only for your own benefit, but because you adored him. So, you placed a tender kiss right beneath the head, your eyes fluttering closed. Abandoning the t-shirt in your hands, you reached up to softly caress his cock, using your grip to move it up to give you more access to the underside. Your kisses were quite timid at first, but as one lingered against the underside of his shaft, the pulsing you could feel against your lips made your body ache. 
Eventually, your kisses became more passionate, even giving light suckles and little kitten licks, teasing the piercing and the sensitive head. Hearing him groan with the attention pulled your eyes up to look at him, a bit surprised to see that his cheeks were quite flushed, and his smirk had faded. Was he really enjoying this? 
Bracing himself against the wall with his free hand, Bakugou only further crushed you with his overwhelming presence and dominance, making you pause in worry. “Good girl. Now open your fucking mouth.” 
The instant your lips parted wide enough, Bakugou simultaneously pulled your head and pressed his hips forward, shoving his cock into your mouth, the tip stopping at the back of your tongue. Squeaking and groaning in surprise of the forced entry, you clutched on tightly to his thighs, only just having noticed that his shorts had fallen around his feet. His boxers had simply been pushed down out of the way, but the elastic kept them up on his hips for now. You were unable to move, his grip on your hair too tight to pull back. He didn’t want you to do the work? 
“That’s it, baby. Keep that mouth nice and open for my cock. You don’t gag easily do you?” You could hear the feigned concern in the question, and the only answer you could give is a furrow of your brow, new tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. “Oh well. Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” 
It was then that Bakugou began to thrust his hips, fucking your mouth slow and shallow. You were actually surprised that he started out so cautious, but you could tell that the pleasure was beginning to grow quickly. “Fuck babe, you’re such a good little slut for me.” Ever so slightly, he began to thrust faster and deeper, until the tip of his cock was hitting against the back of your throat. You were lucky that you didn’t have a strong gag reflex, as you knew that anyone who did would have already puked all over him. But you could take it. You could take it for him, to let him have his way with you just to stay with him a little longer. 
Though, you were finding that it was difficult, breathing in through your nose and trying to distract yourself from the burning in your jaw. Each thrust had your nose touching his pelvis and his balls slapping against your chin, which was coated in drool that dripped freely. It was so difficult to handle him, in fact, that you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks, only further displacing your already ruined makeup from crying earlier. You were a mess already, but the fire within you didn’t falter. If not for needing to grip onto his thighs to keep you balanced, you would be touching yourself again, the craving for your own pleasure just as suffocating as the dick in your throat. 
Still, your struggles were worth it. You got to watch Bakugou’s expression, his brow no longer furrowed in anger but in pleasure, his eyes glazed over with the undying need for release. His face was flushed and sweat was already beginning to drip down along his skin, his body still affected by the intense performance he hadn’t finished not even an hour ago. The way his body moved, muscles tensing and rolling beneath your grip on his thighs. He was so gorgeous. 
You had expected him to finish in your mouth, but after some time of fucking your throat raw, he stopped, holding the back of your head as he dug his cock as deep in as he could. You groaned and whined from the pressure, wishing desperately for relief while pushing on his thighs. With his own groan and hiss of pleasure, Bakugou pulled out of your mouth slowly, his smirk returning as he took in the sight of you. “You should see yourself. Filthy. Keep your tongue out.” When he finally removed himself completely, you took in a deep breath, gasping and panting to try and recover from the brutality you had to endure. Your tongue, however, stayed out as he demanded, allowing him to rub the underside of his tip against it. 
“You’re fuckin’ hot, you know that? So fucking sexy. I bet you have a nice tight little pussy, too.” After a few rough slaps of his cock against your tongue, he took a step back, stepping out of his shorts as he did so as well as his shoes, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. “Stand the fuck up.” 
Swallowing hard, you took the moment of getting to your feet to wipe your chin of the mess of liquids, but you didn’t get much time to steady yourself. Snatched by the arm, Bakugou dragged you over a few feet towards the couch, grabbing you once again by the hair and forcing you down over the armrest. The couch was quite tall, so with your upper body pressed into the cushions and your hips snuggly in place against the armrest, you could barely touch the floor with your tiptoes. It was another uncomfortable position, but you ignored the pressure on your belly as your ass was suddenly exposed to the cold air of the room, your skirt flipped up out of the way. 
“Fuck you have a nice ass.” Gripping your backside with both hands firmly, Bakugou squeezed and spread you open, taking in the pleasant view. “What a fucking punk poser you are with these shitty fishnets. They don’t even do shit.” Digging his fingers into the holes along your crotch, he gave a rough yank, ripping the fabric open to give him easy access. “Holy fucking shit, you should see how wet you are, babygirl.” 
You whimpered at the feeling of his thumb stroking along your sex, the slick that coated your skin giving him no resistance. You could feel it, all over your inner thighs and aching cunt, but now your favorite person in the entire world could see it, too. He could see how wet he made you, how getting tossed around by him made you feel. 
I… I didn’t agree to all of this. I know it isn’t right. I didn’t want it to go this far, but… How can I stop him? Why would I stop him? He’s… I love him so much! I want him to touch me, even though I know I shouldn’t--
Your thoughts were cut off by your own gasp, your body tensing and legs bending at the knee involuntarily at the sudden pleasure that rocked through your body. You knew what it was, his tongue hot and eager against your clit as he ate you out. The sounds of him lapping at your cunt and grunting in delight at the taste of you had your mind spinning, the pleasure devouring your body. Not wanting to be heard by anyone outside, you moaned and gasped into the fabric of the couch cushion, digging your nails into it as you did everything you could to not writhe out of his grip. 
You were so sensitive to his touch that you could feel everything, from his nails digging into your hips to the way his tongue piercing slid across your clit. It was as if he knew exactly how to use it to be able to drive you completely insane, the hard metal sending shocks of lightning through your body with each stroke and flick. 
“Ba-Bakugou, ahh-!” You tugged and pulled at the couch cushion in your grip, digging the toes of your boots into the floor. “It’s too much! Wait--!” 
“Too much? Don’t be such a fucking wimp. You’re my little slut, aren’t you? You can take anything I give you.” As he stood back up, you looked up at him over your shoulder, having to peek through your messy hair to see him. That wicked and excited smirk was back, and you were only able to watch as he gripped your ass in his hands, sliding his cock between your cheeks to coat himself in your essence. “And I know what you want me to give to you. You want my dick inside you, babygirl?” 
Immediately, you stomach rolled nervously, eyes on the tip of his cock and the precum dribbling from it. You were on birth control, there wasn’t necessarily anything risky about that, but there was something else that pricked at the back of your mind. If you did this with him, then you knew that you could never settle for another man. You would want him forever, as you always had, but would you ever get a chance like this again? Would you ever even see him again after today? 
It doesn’t matter… I’ll do it! 
“Yes! Yes, Bakugou, I want you.” You were surprised as he leaned away from you for a moment, though what he was doing was quickly made clear as he came back into full view with a drumstick. The way that it was beaten and chipped told you that it was one he had used that performance, and the other was probably close by, set to be discarded or handed out to fans. 
“And why do you want me?” Bakugou dug the stick into your hose, giving a sharp yank to further rip the delicate fabric and expose more of your ass to him fully. “Just because I’m your favorite of the band?” 
“No!” You couldn’t help but become defensive. “I… I care about you more than that!” You bit down onto your bottom lip as he began to run the tip of the stick across your skin towards your cunt, mind racing with thoughts of what he was going to do with it. You could still feel and see his cock between your cheeks, hot and pulsing, and you were honestly surprised that he could hold out to tease you this long. Just seeing you like this, bent over and so submissive, was enough to keep him going long enough to torture you a bit. 
“You love me? Even though I’ve slapped you, pulled your hair, and fucked your throat until you went hoarse? Even though I have your ass bent over the couch and haven’t given you any more than a few minutes of pleasure?” Suddenly, he brought the stick down hard onto your ass, making you yelp out and tremble beneath him. The pain was so good! You wanted that again, and you received it without having to ask, a moan slipping from your lips. 
“Yes! I’ll love you no matter what you do to me! Always! I love it when you throw me around and use me like this! Please, use me more! I’m your little slut, Bakugou--” You were silenced as he leaned over you, his palm pressing into the side of your face and pushing the hair roughly away from obscuring your flushed and teary features. Now with your full attention, Bakugou smirked, narrowing his eyes at you. 
“No, no, my pet. Call me by my name.” 
The heat that rushed to your face made even his burning palms feel cool, trying to blink the tears away as they rushed down the side of your nose to soak into the couch. Was he being serious? He wanted you to call him by name… by his first name. Something that he never allowed anyone but those close to him to do, and you had seen him on more than one occasion snap at people when they did it. He was huge on respect and feeling dominant over others, so to him, his given name was sacred. 
“Ka… Katsuki…” You couldn’t speak any louder than an airy whisper, though his reaction was enough to tell you that he enjoyed it. Smirk growing, Bakugou sat up from over your back, his fingers curling into your ruined hair as he began to rut his hips against you. His cock stroked slowly against your ass, his tip teasingly pressing into your cunt before slipping up back between your cheeks. 
“Again.” The drumstick still in his free hand, he brought it down hard onto the already abused and welted cheek, right as your voice had begun to leave your lips. 
“Ka-ah! Katsuki!” With another whack, your body instinctively tried to shift away from him, though all it did was off set his cock. His tip slipped into you, making you pause, both from the feeling and from the irritated growl that left his chest. 
“What a naughty little bitch, trying to get me to fuck you before I say so.” 
“N-no, it was just--” 
“-- Well if you want it so fucking bad, I’ll give it to you!” Abandoning your hair and the drumstick, he gripped your hips tightly in both hands, sinking his cock into you with one quick snap of his hips. “I’ll show you who fucking owns you!” 
You didn’t have time to think or respond as he began to fuck you, fast and hard. Already, the pleasure was overwhelming, rolling through your body like electricity. It was perfect, everything you had ever imagined and more. The way he filled you up to the absolute brim, not leaving a single inch of you untouched, had the coil in your core tightening so quickly that you couldn’t even think about how to restrain it. You were going to cum very quickly, and you had never wanted to so badly in your life. 
“How does my cock feel inside you, slut?” 
“G-good,” You struggled to choke out a response behind your moans, which squeaked with surprise as he picked up the pace. “It feels good!” 
“You want to cum all over it, don’t you?” 
“Yes!” 
“Beg for it.” 
At first, you couldn’t even comprehend what he was asking you, your mind growing hazy to everything but the pleasure. “I… please!” You reached back, clutching onto his hand tightly, digging your nails into his skin in hopes that it would keep him latched to you. “Please! Please let me cum, Katsuki! I want to cum all over your cock! I love it!” 
When the pleasure stopped, all you could do was sit there in shock, the emptiness you felt as he pulled out of you making your stomach sink. Had you said the wrong thing? Before you could really ask him, you were grabbed by the elbows and lifted up off the couch, your body flipped so you were sitting on the armrest with your legs now loosely hooked around his hips. In the next moment, his strong arms were around your body, one hooked around your hips to pull them snug against his own while the other supported your upper body. What shocked you more than that was the fierceness of his lips against yours, kissing you with intense passion and aggressiveness that you couldn’t help but to give in. 
Wrapping your arms around his torso, you moaned and gasped softly into the kiss, his hips once again rutting against yours to stroke his length against your clit. For a moment, things seemed to feel different than they had during this entire experience. It wasn’t as if he were using you anymore, doing everything entirely for his own benefit. Instead, his touch was attentive, caressing you and moving your body into position without force. Even the way he kissed you was quick to change, from dominating your mouth to a more tender sweetness. You didn’t ever want it to end, but you allowed it when he pulled away, gazing up into his piercing crimson gaze as he pressed his forehead against yours. 
“I want to see that pretty face when you cum.” The growl against your lips was teetering on threatening, as if he were warning you to not even think about turning away or hiding your face in his shoulder. “I want to see how good my cock makes you feel, baby. So cum all over it like a good girl.” As he began to sink his cock into you slowly, you couldn’t control your reactions to it, Your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed as he bottomed out inside you, even biting down onto your bottom lip as you whined. 
“Yes, Katsuki--” Your voice hitched as he began to thrust into you again, his cock reaching even deeper inside you that it had been before. “--Please watch my face… See how happy you make me!” 
“That’s right, you slut. That’s because you belong to me, don’t you? You’d do anything for me.” As he fucked you, he relied on your grip on him to keep you up, both of his hands moving to grip your hips again. As the pleasure began to boil, you dug your nails into his back, your voice spiking as he became rougher with the added pain. 
“Yes! Yes, anything! I’ll be your little slut forever, Katsuki! Just please don’t stop!” It was impossible to tear your eyes away from his even if you wanted to, but it was more than just the fact that they were intoxicating. He may have wanted to watch your face for the visual expressions of pleasure, but he didn’t realize that his demand to keep your eyes on him gave away more than he probably had expected to. There was no anger or frustration that you had seen before. Instead, he seemed absolutely overwhelmed with the pleasure himself, just as you were, and the flushing of his cheeks paired with his upwards furrowed brow gave him almost a… desperate look. Like he was pushing himself to make sure he was fucking you as well as he possibly could. 
Was he feeling some self-consciousness about all of this, too? Or regret for pushing you to this, unwillingly at first? You didn’t know, and you knew in the end he wouldn’t tell you if you asked. 
“Fucking hell, babygirl, your pussy is so fucking tight,” Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours again, wrapping his arms back around your waist to hold you closer, both to the edge of the armrest and his body. “You’re the best fuck I’ve had in months. I hope you’re ready for my cum all over that pretty face--” 
“No!” You moved your arms to wrap around his neck instead, one hand pressing against the back of his head with fingers tangled in his hair. “Come inside me! Please, Katsuki, I want you to fill me up! It’s okay--” Your voice cracked with a cry of pleasure, your encouragement pushing him to fuck you harder and deeper. 
“Then cum for me, bitch. Cum all over my cock.” 
With that command, you couldn’t hold the coil still any longer. It shattered with his movements inside you, each rough hit of his tip against your cervix only prolonging your orgasm and sending wave after wave of harsh pleasure through your body. Trembling, you squeezed onto him tightly, clutching a fist full of his hair and kissing him roughly, moaning and sighing softly into the kiss as he didn’t give you a moment to breathe. Within moments after your climax, his thrusts became slower and erratic, before he was finally able to release. 
Groaning and cursing against your lips, Bakugou kept his gaze locked with yours, not giving you any room to move or pull back as he came inside you. How hot it was coating your walls made you shiver, squeezing his hips with your thighs and pulling yourself in closer. It was an incredible high, and as you both came down from it together, you both loosened your grip on each other. 
For a moment, you stayed connected, your head on his shoulder with your forehead pressed against his neck, able to feel his pulse against your skin and his chest heaving against yours. Had all of this really just happened? You were pressed up against your crush, his arms wrapped around you with one large hand stroking up and down your back softly. It was so strange compared to his aggressive demeanor just moments before. You knew that it should have made you happy, but instead, all it did was confuse you, and you felt a new wave of tears rush down your flushed cheeks. 
Able to feel your tears run down his chest, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue, prying you off him with little pressure. In the same moment, he slipped his semi flaccid dick from within your still aching cunt, pulling his boxers back into place to cover himself. “Fucking crying again? Seriously?” 
Steadying yourself on the armrest with your hands, you kept your gaze downcast, squeezing your legs together as you could feel his cum beginning to leak out. “I’m sorry, Bakugou, I just--” 
“--Katsuki!” 
His loud correction made you jump, looking up at his face in shock as he glowered down at you. His cheeks were still flushed red, but you were unsure if it was from the exertion of what you had just done or from something else. Reaching over, Bakugou wiped your cheeks roughly with his thumbs, before giving you a bump to the bottom of your chin, as if telling you to cheer up. “I already fucking told you, psycho fan. Katsuki.” 
“Right. I… should I leave now?” 
Unsure of what to do with yourself, you stared up at Bakugou expectantly, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. With another click of his tongue, Bakugou bent over and snatched the forgotten drum stick up off the floor, taking a few steps away towards the vanity that was neatly organized with what you assumed he wore during a performance. Picking up what looked like a marker, Bakugou wrote something on the thick end of the drumstick, before presenting it to you. “Here.” 
Feeling your throat begin to close up as nerves began to take hold of you, it took you a moment to even find the courage to look at the stick, scared of what he might have written on it. Of course, it was probably just his autograph, which he had promised you at the beginning of all this. There wasn’t much time to look at it, though, before Bakugou huffed, shoving it against your chest and forcing you to grab it. “Take the damn thing!” 
Body still feeling quite weak, you squeaked as you fell backwards onto the couch from his push, clutching the drumstick tightly. You could see the tips of Bakugou’s ears flush as he scoffed, pointing towards the door that led out into the hallway. It was… cute. 
“Will you get out! Fuck, you’ve wasted enough of my time for now, go back to your friends!” 
For now…? 
Sitting up, you took a moment to fix your hair and wipe your face again, using the edge of your shirt to help you. “Do I look clean enough?” 
“You look just as fucking hot as you did when I first walked in. Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.” Walking over towards his pile of laundry, Bakugou picked up the shirt he had caught you with, tossing it at you and hitting you in the face. “And take that shit with you! You like it so much; you can have it.” 
Clutching both of your new prized possessions close to your chest, you hopped up like an excited child, smiling wide and squealing as you hopped towards the door. “Aahh, thank you, Katsuki! Thank you! I’m… sorry again for intruding…” 
“Yeah, and I’m sorry for the welts on your ass. Now fuck off!” Bakugou barked again, trying to rush you out for whatever reason. Stepping outside, you couldn’t help but take a moment to lean back against the wall when the door shut, breathing heavily and blushing fiercely. In truth, you weren’t sure what to make of that entire endeavor, thrown into a confusing mix of shame, embarrassment, arousal, and longing. You shouldn’t have done that, and yet, you just didn’t want to leave his side. 
“Got a little lost, didn’t ya, babe?” 
The squeal that left your lips was quickly doused by the t-shirt in your hand, jumping and nearly slamming yourself back against the wall in shock of the unexpected voice. Standing across the hall was Kirishima, whose presence you were surprised you didn’t notice immediately. The mischievous smirk on his lips quickly widened into a pleasant grin, uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the wall to stand up straight. Had he been waiting for you to come out?
“You skipped the bathroom, you know! It’s down that way. I decided to come look for you before we were forced to call security guards, but I guess Bakugou found you first.” 
“A-ah, sorry! I… saw him go in his room and I just wanted an autograph.” Holding your treasures close to your chest, your stomach rolled nervously as Kirishima leaned in closer, his eyes locked on the visible part of the drumstick. 
“Aahh, I get it! Bakugou can be kind of a jerk, I’m surprised! But uh… if you want to convince anyone else that you were just getting an autograph, you should really go to the bathroom. I’m sure Bakugou didn’t give you a mirror, but you look like you had a real good time.” You could hear the tone in his voice lower from friendly to flirtatious, and you quickly tried to fix your hair. 
“H-he told me I looked fine!” 
“To him you probably do. May I?” Still grinning with a friendly disposition, you glanced at both of Kirishima’s hands as he held them up in an offering of help, before nodding timidly. He began to run his rough fingers through your hair, fixing it back into a state of normalcy with a tender touch that was so opposite to what you had just experienced with Bakugou. “You’re cute. I can see why he was so into you right away.” 
“That isn’t… normal for him?” Your eyes glanced over Kirishima’s exposed muscular arms and sides, the deep cut in the arms of his tank showing all the way to his hips. You thought you saw his smile turn sly out of the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t be sure. 
“Nah sweetheart. Bakugou might be a lot of things, but he doesn’t go for random chicks.” Seemingly satisfied, Kirishima also used his thumbs to wipe your cheeks and under your eyes. “Such a messy thing.” 
“Thank you, Kirishima… I’m… I’m really sorry for causing you trouble.” Your heartbeat grew heavier as the redhead in front of you didn’t step back, towering over you just as the blonde had. “I’ll go to the restroom and then... Back to the group.” 
With a chuckle, Kirishima nodded, tapping the end of the drumstick a few times. “You do that! I’ll meet you back there, just going to have a few words with our drummer. Careful with this stuff, yeah? Someone might just try to take it.” 
“I will…”
“Go on, then, scoot.” With a nudge, you were pushed forward down the hall gently, only taking a moment to look back at the pleasant smiling man behind you. He was so different from Bakugou and yet they were the closest friends in the band. You knew that Bakugou was going to tell him everything, and you could only hope that it was going to end up a positive conversation. You hated the thought of Kirishima spending the rest of the VIP visit looking at you in disgust, or even the possibility of him putting you down in front of everyone. 
Flustered, you scurried down the hall into the bathroom, slipping into a stall. After pushing down what was left of your hoes and your drenched thong, you plopped to sit, relieving yourself as you held the t-shirt and drumstick close to your chest. Though, it dawned on you that you hadn’t even looked at what Bakugou had written on the stick, so growing curious, you held it with both hands and spun it slowly to look over every inch. The ridges, dents, and splints in the wood were marks of every beat Bakugou had played, a solid crack down the middle representing just how powerful he was. 
In truth, you felt like that drumstick. You were always a splintered person, emotionally broken and splintered off from the world. And yet, Bakugou had touched you with his passion. But did that mean that you were truly broken now? Could you ever be used again by any other person, or would you snap into pieces the instant your heart tried to find its beat again? 
Eyes tearing up, you tried to blink them away, carefully running your finger along the crack until it met with a smudge of black writing. Unlike what you expected, there was no autograph. Instead, the words “Call Me” were scribbled in the black ink, along with a series of numbers. 
Is that… his cell phone number?! It’s different from what I had found… Those must have been fakes.
Reaching down into your boot, you pulled out your phone, having placed it there for safe keeping, though you were surprised it stayed in place the entire time in Bakugou’s room. Without an ounce of hesitation, you created his contact and started a message, sending it so quickly you didn’t even consider the consequences, though his words did ring in your ear loud enough to make you think he was right beside you. 
“Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.”
He said to call him, but… texting is the same, right?
Me 10:45 pm: Katsuki? 
Bakugou 10:47 pm: hey babygirl. ever been to an after party? 
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hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨
Dark Academia Fem! S/O 
Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader
I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!
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Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 
To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 
Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 
You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 
You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 
When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 
After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 
In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 
David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 
His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 
Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 
David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 
Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 
Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 
Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 
He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 
Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 
Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 
Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 
If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 
Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 
Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  
This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.
Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 
Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 
He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 
He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 
Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 
He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 
Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 
When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 
Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 
Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 
Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 
They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.
Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  
Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 
Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 
Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.
When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 
To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.
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anasticep · 4 years
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Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine
NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.
NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.
Part 1.
Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.
A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist
Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.
Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.
1. Origins
Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.
Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.
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All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.
But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.
“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:
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But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.
So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:
On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need
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And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.
Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice
Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):
Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie
Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex
Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:
A tomb with a view
Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.
Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.
2. Recruitment
It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.
Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.
Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!
Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.
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Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.
What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.
But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.
“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”
But we sidestepped a bit.
3. Pulling the strings
After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.
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Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.
What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.
Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».
While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.
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Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.
But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?
Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)
Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)
That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).
Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)
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4. The Hero’s journey
That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.
Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.
_______
So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.
Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.
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nemuitoka · 4 years
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What are your favorte jshk fanfics? also where do you like reading them the most?
Hi Anon!!! today is the day I can finally answer this question😈 ahaha you know how much I enjoy making fic recs so 👀 Let’s go!!!
To answer your second question first, I like reading them on AO3 the most! Mostly because I get almost unlimited number of characters to rant in the comment section........... 😆but also the tagging system is very helpful.
Okay, now to the fun part of this ask😏
You said JSHK, but I mostly read Hananene ones so all of my favs include that pairing... as  I already did a fic rec here of my favs, this list will continue that one, so please check that one first hehe ((I apologize in advance..., I would love for people to recommend me some mitsukou ones tbh... I’m really lost when it comes to other pairings orz)) 
If I’m completely honest with you anon-san, my favorite JSHK fic right now is the one Roxanne ( @istoleyourboat )  wrote based of my art and her snippet:
Star-Crossed and Falling- Where Stars Go to Die by lilaflo
Hanako is Princess Nene’s personal knight 👀. A tale of forbidden love. They slowly fall in love as they exchange a series of gifts, one that includes a pair of matching earrings that remind them of their love when they’re apart. Also, jelly Hanako of Nene’s suitors😏... Oh, but nothing lasts forever and those sweet moments will come to an end when they have to face their cruel reality, in this world, they don’t get to choose neither their battles or the ones they love.
Now more of Roxanne, because I seriously enjoy her work so much (I’m sure everyone knows by now lmao sdkj) 
Night of the Phantom King by lilaflo 
This one is a spooky one. Nene’s regret for never realizing who she truly loves takes her to mourn her deceased friend Amane and cry on his grave in a Halloween night, then suddenly the Phantom King comes to take her away👀 & he looks suspiciously familiar... Beautiful world building btw, also the ending is just, excellent. 
12 Year Romance by lilaflo
Amane meets Nene at the Tanabata festival, she’s older than him, but he falls for her instantly, fast forward, Amane is now in middle school, he’s a troublemaker, & gets constantly into fights, but he swears the new school nurse looks familiar... he then realizes it’s her and thinks it must be fate!!!... This one hits close to home bc I’ve been in this situation irl, so I can confirm all of Nene’s struggles are real (and ofc how a love with an age gap should be handled the correct way, this fic really teaches you many life lessons hahaha) 
took a sip then another sip, then you turned and said to me by chivalrousamour 
This autor has a bunch of good JSHK fics!! I recommend you check their AO3 out, bec you may find something you like for sure! But, this is my absolute fav from them. Nene is a mangaka, celebrating the finishing of her long serialized manga, while Amane is a delivery boy who happens to find her in a very questionable state in her house👀 (it’s all family friendly ofc, anon, I’m not a slimy pervert like some ghost boy)
Maid for Each Other by corologs ( @corologs )
Courtney has this amazing College AU collection series that I encourage you to check out!!! But Maid for each other is my fav!!! So it’s the Yugi twins birthday, and it’s Tsukasa’s turn to choose where they go to celebrate it... you can already tell where this is going... (let the chaos begin) & as the title said, it involves maids!!! (it has Kaicho wa maid sama vibes if you liked that anime~~)
If I Could Tell Her by corologs
What if the picture perfect arc plan was successful??? Well, this fic explores this idea, and it’s very interesting to read. I like how Amane and Hanako are two separate people here.
the horizon tries but it’s just not as kind on the eyes by sincerelyand ( @sunlightinourheadlights ) 
(Oh my sweet Karen, she writes such good fics, so go check her AO3 out as well!!) Amane and Yashiro are friends that share an apartment (& they were roommates-- OMG they were roommates), even if Amane has its complains, because Nene can be a handful sometimes (and in denial of her true feelings as always, are we even surprised at this point?) he loves her dearly anyways😭.
for real, this time by sourlemoncandy  ( @sour-lemon-candy )
Did somebody say fake dating AU?????? Because hell yeah I did asajj I loved reading this so much!! Nene and Amane are childhood friends, and Nene overhears some girls talking about Amane and how one of them plans to ask him out... but she senses these girls are up to no good so she... well, you gotta read it to find out more~~ it’s no fun If I tell ya everything hehe... so go go go!!
lemon cream by sourlemoncandy
Amane and Nene, just two good friends having a road trip and sharing donuts... what could go wrong??  😏 seriously, I loved this fic so much!! Instant fav! Also makes me wanna try some good sweet donuts...
Trip Down Memory Lane by insipidenvy ( @insipidenvy )
This fic is so sweet. I have such a huge attachment to it, because I read it when I really needed some fluff in my life hahaha. It’s sort of a collection of memories between Amane and Yashiro’s relationship over the years. So heartwarming... if you need the fluffs you’ll enjoy this very much!!
The Radish Princess and the Toilet Prince by insipidenvy
This is my favorite fic from insipidenvy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how I am a slut for Royalty AUs so that’s why!!!!! Also Toilet Prince!! hahahaha such a good nickname lmao. I love how they bond over their insecurities, it’s very relatable tbh. 
Between Wind and Water by WingSongHalo  ( @wingsonghalo )
My beautiful Wing always delivering the good Hananene content, as she should!! This fic is so fun to read!! I laughed so hard at Nene and Hanako being awkward with each other!!! So you know how Hanako is super clingy with Nene, he’s always touching & hugging her, but this time something weird happens and he’s so distant~~ Nene doesn’t want to admit it at first, but she misses his clingy ghost boy~~ you’ll have a good time reading this for sure!  
The Monster's Bride by Hammsters ( @uglierdaikon )
Have you heard about the myth of Cupid and Psyche? Well this fic rewrites it in a very Hananene way <3 hehe I loved it so much (as I’m a huge fan of mythology~) To sum it up, Nene is fated to marry a monster that lives in the mountains so she’s devastated... to her surprise, her husband is far from what she expected... she only had one rule to obey and well... we all know how reckless Nene is so... you go find out what happens next now!! hehehe
Morning Reflections by FalalalaLa  ( @miss-sternennacht )
So you’ve heard of Hanako watching Nene sleep, but what about Nene watching Amane sleep???!! this fic offers you this and so much more fluff <3 Also Nene remembering how they met and how their relationship evolved during the years, aww <3 
Cursed Coin by DaikonSenpai  ( @daikonsenpai )
There’s a school dance, Yashiro’s supposed to be dancing with Kou (since she can’t go with Hanako, which causes him to be jelly~~ and bitter), but she loses a coin Aoi gave her for good luck so she goes out and searches for it on the last place she saw it, the school fountain. Suddenly Hanako spots her, what’s she doing outside??? is she drunk or something?? what happens next you may find out when you read it~~~
Between Love and Hope by Baronesscmd (SweeterThanYourDarkestSin) ( @baronesscmd )
Oh to be Nene and get to sleep between the Yugi twins... God really has favorites uh... ISTG, this collection of fics is so cute. I love how Nene loves the twins so much in this AU, they have their little cute family. She ofc is in love with Amane, but their relationship with Tsukasa is so tender... it’s mostly this trio having fluffy moments together to heal your soul... if you need some, you’ll get it here for sure hahaha. 
Ghost of You (And All the Futures We've Forgotten) by Indigo_Floof  milkteamoon  ( @indigosienna , @spades-queen )
So anon you may have been wondering, well this bitch likes fluff only???? how about some angst for a change, uh? DAMN, OKAY THEN, here you have some angst to rip your soul out and wish you never sent me this ask in the 1st place, bec of the emotional damage this fic will leave you sdajjsa, also if you liked “Erased”, you’ll love this fic too! 
Hanako of the Opera by zxrstan
Finally, but not less important, me being annoying about Hanako of the Opera & POTO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! This fic is based of the AU Aidairo created mostly, it’s really fun to read if you didn’t get much of what was happening during the Hanako of the Opera event, it has a nice ending also! very satisfying I must say. 
AAAAND THIS IS THE END OF MY ALL TIME FAV LIST OMG;;;; Kudos for me for searching through all my damn AO3 and Google Chrome history (from both my PC and phone, since I am a FOOL and forgot my AO3 password so I read a lot of these in the past as a guest before recovering my password LMAO, please be patient with me omg, and also if you see me bookmarking them now, you know why 😭) 
Kudos to all of my writer homies as well, I love and appreciate all of you so much!! you have no idea! 💖
I hope you find this list useful, anon!! Thank you for sending me this ask and have a wonderful day! 
Ps. Please everyone feel free to add more fics to this list if you want! this is all my personal picks, but I’m aware there are a lot more fics that I haven’t read and deserve as much recognition as the ones I listed!
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bitchapalooza · 4 years
Text
Some ADHD headcanons I guess (coming from someone with ADHD btw)
America:
He takes medication to help manage his ADHD however he does often forget.
More often than not, it's either a simple call or text from Canada asking if he's taken it yet or its his cool little alien roommate that shoves his meds catty into his face like "take the fucking capsule take the fucking capsule take the fuc" until he finally takes it.
America's stims are: rocking or swaying back and forth or side to side, waving his arms when excited or uncomfortable/frustrated, when incredibly anxious he uses a small beanbag he carries around to feel the beads inside as it helps him ground himself from getting overestimated.
One of his biggest, long lasting, hyperfixations is airplanes! He loves watching them take off and fly, taking them apart and studying them then putting it all back together by hand, making model planes to display, flying them himself— go ahead and ask him about airplanes, he'll get the biggest smile you've ever seen!
America didn't know, for the longest time, that what he has been experiencing is overstimulation. He simply thought he was being a brat about certain situations, what is lashing out and such. Although he understands now that doesn't mean there's any less panic, or at certain times aggression. He tries his best to push through it to get work done as he believes it'll somehow pass faster if he does so. He doesn't get it often thanks to learning how manage it better.
Hypersensitivity issues: tags in clothes, long sleeves that grasp too tightly(tight used loosely as to him tight is something like a bracelet) to his wrist, slimey or sticky things.
People who help him best: Canada, England(to his best abilities), Lithuania, Romano, and Japan.
North Italy
Vene does not take medication. He simply forgets too often and is too self conscious about telling people he takes medication, even to his own brother. He'd just like that to stay private is all. If he forgets so much to the point of the meds expiring with barely any use, he'd rather not take them all.
Instead, Vene had learned how to keep his own focus. He hangs up sticky note reminders or has a digital to-do list synced on his phone and laptop as he's always on them for work anyway. He's learned association words to go with dates and whatevers scheduled for those dates. It's not the greatest but at least he's not wasting anything that could very well go to someone else who needs it.
Vene's stims are: waving his arms or flapping his hands around, jiggling his leg up and down, humming— sometimes he'll put his hand just below his Adam's apple to feel the vibrations. He chews pencils and pens, jiggles pens and pencils between his fingers too. He'll also pass pens, pencils, straws—basically anything possible— between his fingers back and forth.
Cooking and painting/drawing are the two things he considers his biggest hyperfixations. Cooking he prefers to do on his own mostly as being crowded in one place while having so much to do makes his nerves go nuts. But he doesn't mind company when he's drawing or painting. He actually feels better with company at that point. He tends to get extremely quiet as he concentrates on his art so it gets pretty silent around by default. He likes it when people are around to fill in that space. When asked about cooking and art, he'll ramble and ramble nonstop about his favorite artists or chefs or what have you until he's tired.
Vene gets overstimulated a lot and this is due to his habit of just staying put and doing nothing about what's bothering him or not recognizing the annoyances at all. He gets very squirming, moving around a lot, when overstimulated. But still does nothing which leads to breakdowns that he still tries to ignore is happening. When asked, he'll just say he didn't get enough sleep and leave it at that. He simply doesn't want to broadcast this side of himself in case anyone thinks even lesser of him more than they may or may not do now.
Hypersensitivity issues: certains foods touching(rolls or toast CANNOT be on the same plate as his eggs or anything with sauceon it, absolutely no thank you, they'll get too soggy and v*mit inducing when even looking at it), his socks cannot have seams in them as they run the risk of touching his toes nor can the band be touching his ankles(so he normally wears knee high socks inside out as seamless seem to be hard to find). Most foods he can handle but honestly mashed potatoes give him a lot of anxiety. To him, the texture looks like it'll feel like sandpaper on his tongue. So he avoids it despite never even trying it in the first place.
People who help him best: Romano, Germany(he tries but he only understands the basic textbook definition, not Vene's personal experience; and that's really enough for Vene honestly), Seborga, Japan, and Hungary.
Sealand
He fights Sweden, Finland and England about it but he does take medication. When at Sweden's, he tends to fall on bribing him to take it while Finland has already given up 30 minutes prior. At England's, he manages to get him to take it easily by threatening to take his games away(works every time).
Sealand doesn't really like the medicine as it makes him feel..... run down. He much rather prefers to feel very active all day than to feel like a zombie. But everyone has told him its for his own good so he at least attempts to listen. Key word: ATTEMPTS.
Sealand mostly rocks on his heels, sucks his teeth repeatedly for the sound, or fiddles with the joystick of the stim toy Finland bought him when he stims. He still moves around a lot regardless but he is a kid afterall.
Sealand mostly hyperfixates on his country status, that is true. However, he's also taken a liking to puzzles and legos. He's got about 14 puzzles finished and framed, a tiger puzzle is even hanging in the kitchen(Sweden's) for everyone to see! As for legos, Sealand just really likes to build little cities out of them and pretends their a part of his country. He never uses the people pieces, instead he just collects them and occasionally swaps their hair pieces out between the figures.
He doesn't exactly get overstimulated often. In fact its pretty rare. But when it does happen it's mostly when he's in the big cities surrounded by noisy cars and too many people. He clings as close as possible to whoever he's with, which is most often England. When he's alone, which is a lot as he kind of runs off on his own despite everyone telling him not to, he simply breaks down. Thankfully he has all his contacts in order and no phone lock so its easily accessible for anyone in case of emergency.
Hypersensitivity issues: None of his food can touch so he still uses dividing plates. The textures of broccoli and rice makes him incredibly uncomfortable. He won't eat beans unless he serves his own portion just to make sure it's not TOO goopy. And lastly he refuses to let anyone pick him up— he doesn't like anyone, not even those he considers family, to touch the sides of his stomach and much less under his arms. He says there's just something about it that makes him want to curl up and get away, its incredibly uncomfortable.
People who help him best: Sweden, Finland, England*, Latvia, and Seborga.
*England has better understanding with ADHD in children than he does with adults. As childrens' ADHD tend to be more presentable than adults', England can better recognize it and feels better in helping. ADHD was not a diagnosis prior to the 1900s so England did not know that what America had when he was child was ADHD, he simply believed he was a trouble maker. After taking care of Sealand and getting his diagnosis he later realized the similarities between them both and apologized to America for the harsh berating he gave him as a child. And when America later got his own diagnosis in the early 2000s, England further apologized and offered him as much help as possible while he adjusts with his new diagnosis. He had trouble with America but he at least tries which is all that counts in the end.
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imaginesbymk · 3 years
Text
PINK + WHITE.
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— chapter ten ; stained glass window.
summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta.
pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby
tags in this chapter: swearing + smoking
[ chapter index ]
A/N: I am sooooo sorry for the long hiatus! </3
This story is getting more views on Wattpad than here on Tumblr. I still love the show and Luca's my favourite villain, but as much as I want to discontinue this story, I want to get it out of the way because I have drafted a timeline of this story, including Teresa's and Luca's closure on their relationship. So I'm stuck in the middle on what to do???
BTW, I've come up with a headcanon for Luca's full name as Luca LaPaglia Changretta! His middle name is never revealed in the show, I just did this for the fic.
RIP Helen McCrory. You were one of my favourite stars of the show. Fly high <3. The Peaky fandom will miss you so much.
///
TERESA wasn't as religious as the next person, but she kept her respect as her heels echoed down the aisle, immediately spotting the tall man kneeling on one of the pues. His hands were folded in prayer, and he murmured what the Welsh could make out to be Italian tongue.
"Do you want to be alone?" she asks.
Luca pauses, his eyes still shut and hands still in folds. "No. I want you here."
Teresa slides over and sits next to her lover, staring at the giant crucifix behind the front podium. "How often do you pray, amore?"
Luca pauses his prayer again. "Almost every day. God and I keep in touch, y'know."
"What does he say to you?"
"He tells me to tell you to quit interrupting until I'm done talking to Him." Teresa chuckles, prompting her to let him finish. As it took another good minute for Luca to conclude his prayer, Teresa gazed at the stained glass windows on each side, casting a good light from the clouds that allowed a bit of sun for England, some of it casted its light onto Luca, like an angel on an opera stage.
Luca makes a sign of the cross, sitting back on the pue and grunting a bit from kneeling for a while. "How was lunch with Mamma?"
Teresa nodded. "It was lovely."
"Just lovely?"
"Mhm." She holds his hand. "She says your middle name is LaPaglia."
Luca hums, kissing her hand that curled with his. "C'mon, I wanna take you out with me for wine."
"Hmm... Luca LaPaglia Changretta," She said out loud, admiring the beauty of his full name slipping from her lips. "And I had wine with your mother."
"I meant wine shopping. I'm doing most of the taste tests, it's my cousin's birthday soon."
"Then shouldn't he be the one shopping for wine?" she asks.
The Italian pulls the heavy door, escorting Teresa out of the church and into the chauffeur. "He counts on me, I'm better at choosing wine and gin these days."
"ARTHUR, quit pacing. You'll burn your legs out."
"Where the fuck is she?" Arthur grunts. "Eh? Tom, you're really in it for this one. The fuckin' Welsh is not gonna live up to a fuckin' promise."
"You stop that, she's on her way," Tommy takes a sip of his drink.
A split-second passes as the maid knocks on the heavy office door. "Mr. Shelby?" the feminine voice calls softly. "Miss Griffith is here to see you."
Tommy gives a smug look to Arthur and Polly. "Yes. Send her in," he says. They waited for the woman to walk in, kind of wishing for Tommy to immediately scold her once she stepped foot into his office, but Tommy wasn't up to waste that much energy.
Arthur was the one to step in and do so, otherwise. "What? Did you stroll around Manchester or something?"
"Sorry," Teresa frowns, her face reading she wasn't holding any joy from her day so far. "I was with Luca."
"We're all ears," Polly walked around Tommy's desk. "What's happened? Did he fuck you until you forgot how to tell time?"
"I'm assuming Finn told you?" she asks.
"That's Finn for you, Teresa," Arthur points out.
Teresa rolls her eyes. No point of getting back at him this time. Rat or not, he would never hold back a word from the family. She remembered seeing him appear at the gallery, and he wasn't going to keep a secret from Tommy.
"I invited him for a meeting at a bar...then he took me to the theatre..." Teresa trails off.
Tommy opens his cigarette pack. "Go on."
"That's all, Mr. Shelby."
"You slept with Luca Changretta, just say it."
Teresa folded her arms. "Actually, yes. But earlier events prove what I'm about to propose; I'm in."
The members of the Peaky Blinders all raised a brow, mostly Tommy's.
"You slept with Luca Changretta, I didn't expect you to actually follow up with that, I don't recall telling you to do so, either."
"I wanted to discuss his plans on taking the Penarth gallery. It's not for his dirty hands to touch."
"You wish to join because your heart was too broken to hold back?" Polly says. "Is that where we're getting at, Teresa?" The Welsh woman stared at her. This was probably the first time they had seen each other after all those years that followed from her resignation. Since the last time they spoke, Polly didn't have anything held against her, and here she is, quite disappointed that Teresa shared her heart with a man like Luca. She did quite enjoy her company and her contribution to the Peaky Blinders, even when she chose to depart from Tommy and their relationship, then came Grace Burgess. Polly just didn't want to deal with another afterwards unless it was Lizzie.
"You're doing this just to get even? Luca could care less about your feelings now."
"Teresa," Tommy sighs, nodding at his old friend. "Come back here tomorrow."
Teresa nodded and made her exit out the foot of her door.
"And come on time, please." Teresa wished she could slam the door on him, but Arthur shut it as soon as Teresa's foot took a centimeter away. She presses her ear against the wood to hear them muffling.
"Tom?" She hears Arthur speak. "We can't trust her."
Tommy clears his throat, setting down a scrap of an article he read on his desk. "She'll go back to Penarth, but we can't let her stay there. I know what's going to happen."
"What do you know?"
"Italian men will show up to the gallery."
"It's certain Teresa Griffith keeps a firearm in her drawers," Polly says.
"No," Tommy shook his head. "Not enough to take down at least five men. Luca keeps count of who he orders - who he sends. We're more careful of that, we know of that."
"We're not morons, Tommy. Now we hear from Finn that Luca and Teresa were together?"
"Teresa should give us what we need to know from Luca Changretta. She knows too much about him."
"And Luca knows too much about us," Polly slowly walks over to Tommy. "If Teresa forms an alliance, what will she do? She's already slept with him, but I doubt she got anything out of it. She's not here for the sake of helping. She wants in because she's a woman with a broken heart."
Teresa detaches herself from the door, having heard enough. One of the maids returns, noticing the guest hadn't left yet and was suspiciously eavesdropping their boss. Teresa was pulled back by the shoulder like a child, escorting her out of the foyer.
SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER, Teresa woke from the blinding sun. The silky bed sheets that covered hers and Luca's nude bodies were unmade - ruffled around. If you left the curtains open, you're more alerted. Luca never intended on waking Teresa up that way. In fact, he wasn't even lying next to her in the bed.
Luca's white dress shirt casted more brightness but his trousers were half done. He stared outside, holding his China cup of tea in one hand before looking back down at the papers sprawled across his desk.
Teresa sat up to clip on her brassiere, her accent thinned to greet in basic Italian. "Buongiorno."
He didn't respond.
She slides out of bed and approaches the desk. "Do you need me to leave soon? Though, you don't look like you're in a rush for an important meeting."
Still nothing.
"What, Luca?" This wasn't new for Luca to strangely switch up his mood. He wasn't an easy man, it's hard to impress him or to even study his emotions at times. Teresa had the feeling that Luca didn't enjoy what they had done. "Was this a mistake?"
"This was unprofessional." Luca sets his cup and coaster on his desk. "If you think something will come from this, then think again. I never should have taken you to the theatre. You were trying to let my guard down, were you?"
"No," Teresa shook her head. "I wasn't surprised that this was going to happen."
"Such a mind you carry in that blonde head of yours."
"Seeing you again felt good, Luca. I seized the opportunity to share another moment with you. I was thinking you were going to plan on coming back to Penarth indefinitely."
"Miss Griffith, did it ever occur to you that I wasn't supposed to stay here?" Luca frowns. "I'm no citizen here. America is where my heart belongs, if not America; Sicily."
"You fled to America. That was your last ditch effort to get away from the police," Teresa murmured. She folds her arms. "I understand why you had to do it."
"Then why do you hold it against me?" he asks, exhausted.
"Because I never heard from you ever since."
"I was fairly active in New York, you know?"
"I didn't know."
Luca stared at her. "That's your own problem, Miss Griffith."
"Christ, Luca. Enough with the formalities!" Teresa snaps. "I'm standing at your desk, half nude. We fucked in that bed right there!"
"Which was something we shouldn't have done," Luca began rubbing his temples. "I didn't come back here for you, all right? Porca miseria-" he cuts himself off to heave in a deep sigh. "I have to ask. All this time... you're still hung up on me?"
"Yes," Teresa says, her face paling. "Because I missed you, you bloody bastard. I couldn't reach out to you or your mother, not even the American press, to see how you were doing, or if you were kissing another woman's lips."
Luca slid his hand over to pick up the dress and shawl he placed on the side of the desk. "You need to leave now."
There was no point of convincing him anymore. All was said. Teresa knew not to vex a mafioso unarmed. If she had her handgun with her, she would have tried to pull something in a spite of anger. Would that do her a favour? Probably not. The rest of whoever's left of the Changretta family would go after her without question.
There was Tommy, though, and he's still waiting for her response back in Small Heath.
Grabbing her clothes, Teresa marches back to the bed, gets dressed and leaves the hotel room without saying a word to her former lover. Not even a curse.
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lost-in-the-80s · 4 years
Text
You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 8
Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader
Words: 3,969k
Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.
In this chapter: Is Paris really the city of love? Y/N and Duff are about to find out.
A/N: This chapter is pure fluff! There is a line in French, but the translation is below in italics. The high school story is true btw, I was the one who stayed sleeping lol
Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @slashscowboyboots @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @vinylvintage @metalupyourash​ add yourself to my tag list :)
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
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A week passed after that morning, nothing very exciting happened in Y/N's life. Guns n Roses did two successful shows in Scotland and soon after they got on the bus towards France.
They got there very early in the morning, after a long rainy night. Drops still dripped from the leaves of the trees and the asphalt had taken on a darker shade of gray, while the sun fought for space between the clouds that covered the sky.
Open-mouthed, Y/N admired the city through the bus window, her dream had always been to meet Paris, unaware of Duff's gaze fixed on her expressions, making a smile appear on the blonde's lips.
"I can't believe we're in Paris!" She exclaimed, her eyes shining with joy.
"Me neither," Slash said smiling, the realization that his band was touring Europe was still going on, and he couldn't be more proud.
"I always dreamed of coming here, but I never thought it would come true." She smiled, turning to the boys, her back facing the window.
“Well, we have the day off. You can enjoy doing what you've always wanted to do here! ” Izzy said, he was sitting next to her.
“I'm going shopping! Then I want to have coffee in one of those bistros that we see in the movies.”
"It looks like you already have a plan then." Izzy smiled slightly at her.
"Is there room for one more in this plan?" Duff asked. He was sitting across from her, smoking a cigarette.
"Sure! We can go out right after breakfast if you agree. ”
"It's fine with me!"
---
After a tasty breakfast, the two of them met in the hotel lobby. Duff in a leather jacket and black jeans while she wore a red sweater with jeans and black high boots.
Walking side by side, they followed the receptionist's recommendations, walking just a few streets before reaching downtown.
Entering a busier street, several people came and went along the sidewalk, making it difficult for them to move.
In a quick, almost unconscious movement, Duff took her hand, guiding the way through people until they reached a quieter street.
As soon as his skin touched hers, she lost herself, her legs still moved in rhythm with his, but her mind moved as fast as a hummingbird's wings.
His fingertips were dry and callused against the thin, smooth skin of her hand. Her fingers were so small compared to his that they almost disappeared during the gesture.
However, Duff didn't realize what he had done until they arrived at a peaceful avenue full of shops. He felt her hand tightly holding his and a small smile appeared on his lips. For a few seconds, he feared she would let go of his hand, after all his help was no longer needed, but she didn't.
In fact, she only let go of his hand when they entered the first store, needing both hands to feel the fabric of a sweater and go through the hangers.
They visited many stores and although Duff thought he would be bored to go shopping, he ended up having fun. Not because he liked to stand beside her while she went from hanger to hanger, or because he liked to carry the bags for her, but because he was with her.
Every time she left the dressing room asking for his opinion, he couldn't contain the small smile that formed on his lips.
Leaving what appeared to be the thousandth store, she suddenly stopped in front of a window. Its glasses had frosted glass details and clothes in shades of black and brown were exposed.
"What's it?" He asked worriedly.
"It's Chanel." She said with a sigh.
She looked at him and saw his brows furrowed. "It's my favorite griff."
"Let's go in then!" He said, pulling her hand into the store.
The floor was light marble and the walls were white, there were adorned pilasters in the corners and the ceiling was very high, decorated with a large crystal chandelier.
Passing slowly on the hangers, Y/N touched each fabric subtly, feeling the material against her skin and smiling without believing that she was in Paris, personally looking at the fine clothes that inspired her so much to study fashion.
"Bonjour je peux vous aider?" A middle-aged saleswoman wearing a bun approached with a friendly smile.
"Good morning, can I help you?"
"What?" Duff asked.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were tourists." She smiled gently. "Do you need any help?"
"I'm just looking around, I studied fashion in college, I always wanted to see your store in person." Y/N smiled.
“You have a degree in fashion! That's great!" The saleswoman raised her eyebrows in admiration.
"Yes. Chanel has always been my favorite griff, it influenced me a lot to choose the fashion college. ”
“In this case, come with me to the second floor. We have beautiful dresses from the latest collection there, you will love them.”
The saleswoman guided them up an arched staircase with marble steps and black handrails to the second floor where the dressing rooms were and a session full of dresses and party clothes.
“This one is one of Karl's favorites, do you notice the ruby ​​details on the collar? They're from Australia.”
"It's beautiful!" Y/N responded, lightly touching the white dress that the saleswoman was showing her.
Passing the countless hangers, Y/N lifted her hand to her mouth when she saw a red dress, full of small sparkling stones. The dress was the most beautiful she had ever seen.
“Ah, this is Louise. It is inspired by Italy. ” The saleswoman approached explaining. "These little stones are quartz, they fit a lot, don't they?"
“Yes, they really do. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen in my life.”
"Try it," Duff said, drawing the attention of the two women.
“Yes, you should try it, dear! I'll see if we have one in your size, I'll be back in an instant. ” She smiled leaving the two of them in the room.
Putting the hanger back in place, Y/N turned to Duff. He smiled in her direction and she almost forgot what she was going to say.
"Duff, you know I can't afford a dress like that."
Before he could answer the saleswoman returned.
"I think this one will look perfect on you." She went into one of the changing rooms, hanging up her dress and turning on the lights for her.
Reluctantly, Y/N entered the dressing room, changing her clothes for the dress. The saleswoman offered to help her with the zipper, entering the dressing room and closing it quickly.
"Wow, it looks beautiful on you, dear!" She exclaimed.
She wasn't lying, the dress was really beautiful on her, fitting so perfectly that someone could think it was made especially for her.
"You need to show it to your boyfriend!"
"Oh no, he isn't-" Before she could finish the woman opened the door, stepping out of the way so Duff could see her.
"Wow." He sighed. "You look beautiful!"
She felt her cheeks flush as she murmured a "thank you".
“You should take it, dear! It looks great on you. ”
"Oh no, I can’t affo-"
"Here." Duff took the wallet out of his jacket pocket, offering the saleswoman a card. "Use this card please."
Smiling, she took the card and went down the stairs.
"Duff, you don't have to pay for the dress for me!" She crossed her arms, she didn't like to depend on others.
"I don't need to, but I want to."
"But Duff."
"Y/N, the dress looks beautiful on you, it would be a mistake not to take it."
She stopped for a moment looking him in the eye. "Fine." She said subtly before entering the fitting room to remove the piece with the help of the saleswoman who had already returned.
---
"What do you want to do now?" Duff asked when they left the store.
“How about we go get something to eat? I'm starving."
"Finally you talked about food, I was almost eating one of my fingers," Duff said laughing, looking at his fingers with a weird expression.
Arriving at a bistro, they chose a table on the sidewalk of the establishment, so that they could admire a little more of the city while eating.
"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" Y/N said when she finished eating.
"Yes, very beautiful," Duff said, filling his mouth with what was left of his croissant, making her laugh slightly.
"What do you want to do afterward?" She asked.
"I don't know, we could go to that park." Duff pointed to a park directly in front of the bistro.
"Good idea!" She smiled
"I'm going to pay, then we go, okay?"
“No, no, no! I’m paying." She stated, looking for her wallet in the bag.
"Why do I get the impression that you are going to buy me coffees until you match the value of the dress?"
"Because that’s exactly what I am going to do." Getting up, she walked quickly into the bistro.
---
The park was extensive, its trails were made with small white cemented stones and the trees around it seemed to be very old, although they had lost all their leaves during the winter.
They walked for almost an hour, admiring small art exhibitions and talking about long stories from the past.
The temperature started to drop and the sun started to set over the horizon, bringing a purple-gray color to the city.
Y/N had her arms crossed in front of her, trying to keep her warm, while Duff rubbed one hand against the other in hopes of warming his cold fingers.
“My class was super excited, their dream was to go to that exhibition, while my best friend and I were just going to miss two days of school” She was telling him the story about her trip in her senior year of high school.
"We spent the whole morning in a park and while everyone went to take pictures, she and I stole two scooters for hire and we kept walking around the same block of the park all morning."
"What? You stole a scooter!? ” Duff said laughing. "I never thought you were like this, Y/N!"
"What could I do? We were bored! .... And in the afternoon it got even worse! We spent an hour and a half visiting the exhibition, after that we got tired and realized that we had 5 more hours free, but nothing was interesting to do. We sat in a less busy area and I read while she slept.” She laughed at the memory.
"So you didn't enjoy the trip at all?" He asked laughing.
"Nope."
"My God." He laughed. "And where is this friend of yours?"
“She lives in Norway now. We speak in letters every month, but we haven't seen each other in years. ”
"It’s a shame." He stopped in front of a fountain. "Maybe it’d be possible to visit her after the tour."
"Maybe." She smiled slightly.
"Three days is not enough time here, there is so much I wanted to see." She sighed.
He didn't answer, and she turned to face him, he was looking at her, his eyes full of a glow that she had seen before, but she couldn't identify.
"What's it?" She said softly, putting a lock behind her ear.
He took a step closer to her, their bodies mere inches apart.
"I want to kiss you..." He said in a low tone, licking his lips, as he leaned slightly towards her.
"But I'm only going to do it if you want to." His hand touched her face, his cold fingers making a shiver grow on Y/N.
His lips were so close to hers, she could feel his hot breath against her skin.
She froze, her heart raced and she couldn't formulate words so she just nodded slowly.
Closing the distance between them, Duff pressed his lips gently against hers, moving away after a few seconds.
She opened her eyes and saw his gaze fixed on hers. He still kept his hand on her face, waiting for some kind of reaction.
Gathering all the courage she had, she stood on her tiptoes and pulled him closer by his jacket, smashing her lips against his and enveloping him in a hot, passionate kiss.
One of Duff's hands found her waist, bringing her even closer.
His tongue asked for permission to invade her mouth and after getting it, their tongues danced in synchronized ballet, as if they had already rehearsed hundreds of times.
"You don't know how long I waited to do this." He whispered when they pulled apart.
---
The way back to the hotel was quieter, the night had reached the city and the cold wind was blowing against them through the streets of Paris.
Duff had his arm around her shoulders the entire way, while she hugged his waist.
Arriving at the hotel, they walked slowly through the corridors, so slowly that Y/N could have counted all the chandeliers on the walls.
They had all the time in the world and weren't ready to say goodbye yet, but the number 25 appeared, it was her room.
"We’re here." She said calmly, looking into the blonde's eyes as she came out of his embrace.
"See you tomorrow?" He took her hand, intertwining their fingers.
"You know you will, Duff." She leaned against the door, lifting her chin to keep her gaze fixed on his.
A light laugh left his lips as he remembered that fateful night in Scotland.
"What?"
"I had a dèjá vu" He smiled, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"What do you mean?
"That night in Scotland."
She frowned.
"Don't you remember?"
She shook her head slowly. "No."
He laughed again. "You were standing just like this." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Asking me to kiss you." A smug smile appeared on his lips.
"Oh my god!" She closed her eyes, wishing it had just been his imagination.
"It would have been an interesting proposition if you weren't so drunk."
"I'm not drunk today, am I?" She bit her lower lip, smiling.
A smirk appeared on Duff's lips as he leaned down to kiss her again.
"Good night, Y/N," Duff said as he backed away.
"Good night, Duff."
He leaned down kissing her forehead for a few seconds before slowly letting go of her fingers and heading towards his room.
---
The next morning Y/N woke up with the biggest smile, she still didn't know what was going on between Duff and her, but she was happy.
Entering the hotel's restaurant, fear took a hold of her heart. She didn't know if Duff had told the rest about them, and the last thing she wanted was for them to be making jokes, like that night when they slept together.
The first thing she saw was Duff, he looked up from his plate, looking her straight in the eyes, almost as if he had felt her presence before he even saw her.
He gave her a small smile as he followed her every move.
Taking a cup of coffee and a slice of pie, she sat between Steven and Slash at the table.
"Woke up late today, Y/N," Axl said. "Did you come back too late yesterday?"
"Not really, I arrived around seven."
"We passed at your room around six, we were going to a restaurant, but you weren't there," Steven said.
"Ah, it’s okay, I ordered room service." She smiled slightly.
"What made you wake up so late then? You are usually the first to arrive." Axl insisted on the topic.
"It took me a while to get to sleep last night."
"Insomnia?"
She looked at Duff, seeing him smile slightly. "Something like that."
---
The afternoon soon arrived and Y/N left her room to go to the soundcheck with the boys.
Looking across the hall she saw Duff, propped up against his door.
"You’re beautiful today." He whispered as he approached her, leaning over to steal a small kiss.
"Thanks." The compliment had made butterflies rise in her stomach.
A door opening made Duff take two steps back.
"Were you waiting for me?" Steven asked, smiling as everyone walked towards the elevator.
"Uh-huh." She said quickly.
Arriving at the lobby, Y/N was stopped by Izzy.
"Y/N, I need you to do something for me."
"Sure, what’s it?"
"Erin will be arriving at the airport in about an hour, I need you to pick her up and go with her somewhere."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't take her to the soundcheck."
"Why?" She frowned.
"Axl does not concentrate when she is there, we have to do everything twice ... Go with her to a beauty salon or whatever."
"Fine..." She answered slowly.
"Here, take the band’s card." He handed over the card before heading towards the bus.
"Ah!" He turned around. "Here... for the taxi!" He handed her 50 euros, finally leaving the hotel.
In the distance, she could see Duff looking at her without understanding what had happened.
She shrugged, offering a small wave before Izzy pushed him into the bus and closed the door.
---
The day was starting to get boring. Erin's flight was delayed by almost an hour and all she could think was that instead of being with Duff, she would have to spend the rest of the afternoon with her.
Not that she could complain much, Erin was a nice girl, kind of an airhead, but a great company to have fun with.
But she would rather be watching Duff playing his bass while wearing his Cowboy hat.
Her flight finally arrived, and Y/N moved to the line of people waiting for passengers, holding a papal with Erin written with pink lipstick.
A thin scream filled the airport when Erin identified Y/N, making people around look at them.
She took a few leaps until she reached Y/N, wrapping her in a hug.
"Hi, Erin!" She said hugging her back.
"I missed you!" She smiled.
"I missed you, too, Erin!"
"I was upset that you never called me when you were on vacation." She pouted, making Y/N give a nasal laugh.
"Sorry, I was very busy."
"I forgive you, but only if you promise to call me next time!"
"I promise, Erin."
"Let’s go then? I'm missing my little redhead." She started walking.
Y/N took a deep breath not to laugh at the nickname. "The plans have changed, we only go to the arena when the gig’s about to start."
"What do you mean?" She stopped, turning to the other woman.
"Izzy told us to have a girls' day. I thought we could use a massage."
"Izzy said that?" She frowned.
Y/N nodded in agreement.
"That's weird."
"Weird or not, I have the band's card." She held up the card, showing it to the girl.
"In that case, let's go! A full massage can take more than an hour!" She started walking quickly, making Y/N quicken her pace.
---
After nearly an hour and a half at a massage parlor, Y/N and Erin went to a coffee shop, ordering cake and hot chocolate.
The place was small and cozy, the walls were painted in shades of cream and the chairs had flowery green cushions.
Taking a table by the window, they started talking.
"Has Axl given you a lot of trouble?" Erin asked.
"No, he's been calmer these days. The biggest problems are Izzy and Steven."
Erin looked her in the eye, encouraging her to continue.
"Izzy is a pain in the ass when he's high, and Steven doesn't even know where he is when he uses it, I have to act like his mother."
"That sucks! Good thing Ax doesn't have any problems like that. But I think it's just because they're on tour, as soon as it's over they'll get better."
"I hope so," Y/N said smiling. "And how are things between you and Axl?"
Erin stopped with the cup halfway, not knowing whether to speak or not.
"Things with him are ... complicated…. He can be romantic and kind when he wants to, but most days he ends up taking his anger out on me."
"What do you mean?"
"We fight a lot, but I love him, and I know he loves me, so eventually we will get better." She gave a small smile before bringing a piece of the cake to her mouth.
Y/N nodded as she sipped her hot chocolate, deciding not to dwell on it.
"And how’s Duff going?" Erin smirked.
Y/N's eyes widened. "What about Duff?"
"The last time I was here he was hopelessly in love with you. Axl said he spent all day talking about how beautiful you are."
A smile appeared on Y/N's lips.
"Don't tell me he hasn't made a move yet?"
"He actually did." Her smile got bigger.
Erin propped both elbows on the table, looking intently at the girl in front of her, curious to know more.
"He kissed me yesterday."
Erin shrieked, smiling at the news.
"The boys must have gone crazy!"
"They don't know yet."
"Why not?"
"Because even I don't know what we are yet. Besides, I work for them, I don't want to say anything before I'm sure it's serious"
"Yeah, it makes sense. Do you want me to be quiet about it then?"
"Please."
"Relax, my lips are glued together!" She said laughing.
---
Arriving at the arena, Y/N walked calmly through the countless corridors next to Erin, while listening to her chatter about the Christmas party at her father's house.
She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw red hair entering a room.
"Axl!" She screamed, running towards the door when he stuck his head out.
She threw herself into his arms as he hugged her tightly, mumbling how much he missed her.
Y/N smiled at the scene when she was pulled by the arm into a room.
The light was off and the only illumination present was the reflection of one of the stage spotlights that reflected through the window.
Adjusting her eyes to the brightness, she could see the figure of Duff in front of her, covering her with his height.
"I missed you." He said before pressing his lips against hers.
His hands found her waist, pulling her closer as her hands went up to his hair, tangled in its strands.
Their tongues danced together as he guided them until she leaned against cold material.
Using one hand to feel the surface, she realized it was a table. They should be in a dressing room.
Y/N sat on the table, increasing her height in a few inches, making Duff's job easier.
She tangled her legs around his waist, bringing him closer, while he lowered his hands to her ass, squeezing her flesh tightly, making a small moan leave her lips.
Starting to apply kisses to her neck, Duff was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.
"Duff!" It was Slash.
"What!?" He pulled away from her neck, shouting towards the door.
"We have to go on stage, we’re already late!"
"Shit," Duff murmured. "I'm on my way!" He shouted for the door.
"I think I'm going to have to leave you alone now." He smiled, stealing another kiss from her. "Come and see the gig."
"I'll be there in a minute, I promise." She smiled at him, kissing his lips one last time before he walked out the door.
Alone in the dark, Y/N sighed, her fingers went to her lips and a smile appeared on them.
"Well, I think I can get used to it." She murmured.
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