#i love how goofy Larry is in this video

[nevertrustaspacecowboy]

MERRY XMAS U2 FAM

[pup-pee]

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddstonerrrrrrrr yuuummmm

ITS NOT BLOOD ITS CHEETO DUST REDSTONE ((also i stole the embroidery ren sun on the patch from madddddiiii <33 bc it was a cute silly detail i enjoy & totally wont 4get))

[landhinlove]

The xfactor video diaries are wild

[isackwhy]

ISAACWHY HEADCANONS BOTH NSFW AND SFW

my time to shine.

isaacwhy sfw hc’s!!!

i fully believe this man is terrified to flirt

like i blame all the homeschooling he’s so sociable normally but just buckles up w flirting

unless he’s drunk

so w that i think he’d easily fall for a best friend

someone he gets more comfortable with but also more head over heels for

kinda makes it easier to flirt in the long run tbh

okay enough i’m too high i’m going too in depth w that LOL

even after you guys start dating he gets ten times bolder when he’s drunk

that’ll be more detailed in nsfw dw dw

loves play wrestling w you

like no matter or tall or body type this man will try and gently body slam you onto a bean bag

does that fake punching shit w the “ugh! agh!” noises behind you when ur editing or cooking or looking at something in the store

also bluetooth humps u

it’s embarrassing the amount of times he’s done it in the middle of target and people have spotted it as you swat him away

isaac laughs everytime as soon as they’re gone while u just sulk

here’s a quick take: if ur both content creators and known best friends when u start dating, i feel like at some point one of y’all would let it slip OR u drop one too many hits and the ppl catch on

y’all would want it to be private but not like secret. u would mention that u arent single every so often and he’d slip into a podcast one day but never directly state it

until a slip up on stream when u we’re playing a horror game and he came into your room to scare you

you yelped, headphones falling off

once your heart stops beating you let out a whined, “babeeeee….”

he stops laughing first

it’s only then u realize what u did

and then boom everyone knew

he posted a lot of pics of u before but now he’s reposting ur ig posts to his stories. posting selfies of u two on his story. (w his face covered ofc)

nsfw hc’s now >:)

i remember vividly during one of the podcasts that willy said isaac is the freakiest. it was under his breath and i remember isaac just going “wha—“ BUT I REMEMBER IT

w that said…..choking, a mix of praise and degradation, marking you….like he goes IN w that

he’s like got your legs in the air doing what he has to do with his hand around your neck, curls slightly sweaty, toned abs shining under the light

“you’re doing so fucking good baby. you like this? you like the world knowing you’re a good slut?”

EEP okay

the next day your whole neck is purple. his back and biceps are scratched up and u are being bullied by your friends

“they’re mad they didn’t get laid last night!” isaac yells

after u guys announce ur dating and someone even spots what could be a hickey on ur neck it floods into the chat and thank god for ur mods bc u are not addressing how ur bf was pounding ur shit and then went to play clash of clans after

now….when he’s drunk.

he had just filmed that drunk lethal company video w yumi and larry

downed far too many shots of vodka

he gets up and plops onto the bed, wrapping his arm around your waist

“you okay there?” you laugh, moving some of his curls so u can see his face

his eyes are glazed over but a goofy smile works it’s way across his face

next thing your know he’s inching towards your thighs, kissing them and then trying to separate them to get to your core

“isy. you’re drunk.”

“hmmm? i think i’m still sober enough to make you cum.”

“hmph no. you’re drunk.”

he pouts and climbs on top of you

he leans down and rests kisses all over ur face, trailing to your neck, whispering ‘please’ between every kiss

“no. when ur sober” you push him away with a laugh

he gives in, very excited to wake up sober

as soon as your eyes flutter open there’s kisses along your jawline and a wide eyed isaac in your face

“i’m sober.”

but when you’re BOTH like any sort of intoxicated

by golly

it’s very rare you two find yourselves at a party but when you do and you’re both taking shots and then running to the sesh circle and then getting more shots

first, you’re holding onto each other so you don’t fall

second, your hands are all over his biceps while his keep trailing under your shirt or around your stomach

ur walking around to find nick. the only one who didn’t drink. because you guys are impatient and like need each other like now

he takes you guys back to the house and goes back to keep an eye on the other guys

meaning. y’all have the house to ur selves

lord do u take that to ur advantage

you don’t even make it to the bedroom. you stumble into the living room and before the front door is even closed your lips are attached to his

you’re both stumbling as you kiss until the back of your legs hit the couch and he falls on top to you

“i was so very tempted to just fuck you in the bathroom of that house,” you laugh between kisses, words slurred with adrenaline and alcohol

“well—now—weee have the house to ourselves,” isaac slurs as well, his hands sliding down your bottoms and pulling them and your underwear down swiftly

“nuh uh! you too mister!” you giggle as you drunkenly tug at his pants

he complies ofc duh

lots of drunk mumbles of i love you are exchanged. his head in the crook of your neck as you fuck on his couch 🫡

he’s whines a lot more when he’s drunk too like he whines when he’s sober but it gets louder when he’s drunk and u love it sm omfg

i barely write for nsfw so if it’s ASS i apologize

[iskinpeople]

Larry Johnson Headcannons

Title: ""

Genre: HEADCANNONS (NSFW & SFW)

Ship: Larry Johnson x FEM!READER

Fanart links: Photo 1 Photo 2

SFW

Larry is 100% a gift giver. If you're having a bad day, he is buying you your favorite chocolates and flowers you like

Larry likes when you wear his Sanity's Fall t-shirts around the house, it makes him feel like he's hugging you without physically touching you

Larry doesn't like his hair touched. Nore does he know a lot about hair, so he just grabs Shampoo and goes on with his day, and he wonders why it becomes greasy quickly

I see Larry as the type of guy to pull an Eren Jeager look until it starts to look madded. He only does this because his hair is the type to look goofy when he brushes it

He takes photos with you all the time and posts on his social media 24/7, going to 7/11? Picture. Going for a walk? Picture. He wants as much memories with you as he can get

WANTS KIDS SO BAD. His FYP is full of baby or kid videos. Occasionally there are how to parent and want to get when you're going/planning on having a baby

NSFW

Speaking of babies...Now, Larry doesn't have a breeding kink, but when you let him nut inside, he does it no hesitation. If you two one day have a baby, he'll be uninterested in nutting in you for a while

Morning fucks 100%, he loves when you're out of it

Unlike Sal, he does fuck you any and everywhere he can. He once fucked you in a change room because you wore a bra he liked

Wear makeup when you're about to suck his cock. Seeing your eyeshadow and lipstick smeared and covered in cum because of him face fucking you

Doggy style's his favorite position, he likes your ass against him

He also likes when you ride him while he's gaming or scrolling. He loves making you feel needy when he's not paying attention to you

He's skinny but packing...I promise you'll never be dissapointed

MASTERLIST☆

[doctorsiren]

Okay chat we gotta split this up (this is why I said preferably one image per ask, but since these are a set, I’ll allow it)

First of all though

I HAD NO IDEA THOSE FIRST TWO EXISTED I HAD ONLY SEEN THE SECOND TWO the last one is literally my lockscreen on my iPad and has been since I discovered it this summer,,,,

IMAGE 1: AA3

Characters: Maya Fey (channeling Mia Fey), Godot, Iris Fey, Sister Bikini, Ron and Desirée DeLite, Dick Gumshoe, Maggey Byrd, Phoenix Wright, Pearl Fey, Miles Edgeworth

Rating: 11/10

These ones are hard because there’s SO MUCH to unpack here, but that’s what makes it fun.

Starting off I AM A SUCKER FOR MIA AND GODOT/DIEGO INTERACTIONS GAHHHHH Like c’mon!! nothing more to say on those two, they’re perfect

IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS IRIS MYBELOVED WAHH!! She’s so,,, AND SISTER BIKINI gosh I love that she’s confused about the Wii of course she would it only makes sense..but I think Iris being the one to look like she’s explaining it to her makes it even more silly bc girlie you lived in a mountain temple for most of your life how do you know what this is?

Ron, being silly as usual ALSO WHO’S FOOT IS THAT NEXT TO HIM ?? I’ve been trying to figure it out and I THINK it’s Desirée’s but the angle of the leg doesn’t feel right and I just don’t know. Whoever’s foot it is, they need to wear socks (i CANNOT not wear socks, especially wearing shoes without socks?? So when I see characters doing that I’m like 😨 what)

Ron is obviously spooked by Gumshoe and Maggey, and so Dezi (was that a nickname for her? Or did I make that up) obviously is trying to help him but WHY IS THERE SMOKE?? OR DUST OR STEAM OR WHATEVER THAT IS?? HUH

GUMSHOE AND MAGGEY they’re working together it’s so cute IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE RUNNING TOWARDS GODOT AND CONSIDERING THAT IRIS AND SISTER BIKINI ARE HERE, THAT MEANS THIS WOULD HAVE TO BE POST-AA3

Which mean Iris should be in jail (i mean actually no she shouldn’t, women can do what they want and she did nothing wrong smh) and that Godot would definitely be in jail

So it looks like Gumshoe and Maggey are running in to arrest Godot (also I love the Blue Badger on her hoodie <3 )

Okay actually BACK IT UP if this is technically post-AA3…Mia is so calm in speaking to Godot yes I know she loves Diego, but he JUST killed her mom…but whatever I crave their interactions

PHOENIX bro is probably exhausted from everything that happened in AA3…BUT ALSO IS THAT A PLAYING CARD IN HIS POCKET WHAT IS THAT ?? I go insane when playing cards are associated with pre-disbarment Phoenix bc ough…almost like foreshadowing…

Also that CANNOT be comfortable…his poor neck

And also the silly thing he does of tucking his tie in his pocket so goofy so silly

The man he loves and the women he loves are both RIGHT THERE and what does he do?? SLEEP

PEARL SLEEPING ON HIS LEG?? THAT’S SO CUTE this is him preparing to adopt a child in the next 3 months

MILES SMILING I love him look at his goofy big hand, loom how he sits, look at how he looks both relaxed and on edge at the same time, like he could be leaning a bit more back and not be so stiff with how he holds his arm across himself, but he isn’t

He probably loves the Wii. He never got to play video games growing up after DL-6 I bet

UPON FUTHER INSPECTION I am led to believe that the leg belongs to none other than LARRY and that he FELL and that’s why there’s that dust cloud

Those shoes are his and, if we look behind Godot’s legs, there’s a little bit of orange in the same colour as Larry’s jacket

thats literally all I have to support that, but I think I’m right

Also upon further inspection, the spider-web that I mention later in another image is still there and it looks bigger this time and I find that funny

IMAGE 2: AA1

Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Dick Gumshoe, Cody Hackins, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, Penny Nichols, Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright

Rating: 11/10

OKAAAAY CHAT

LOVE HOW THEY’RE ALL CONFUSED

Miles…miles…miles…sweetie why are you looking out the window honey what’s wrong are you being followed?? OKAY NO WAIT IT JUST CLICKED THAT THIS IS FOR AA 1 AND THAT MEANS DL-6 AND,,,ough

Baby boy needs a distraction, and even when he should have it here with the Wii, he is still worried :(

His hand is in his pocket, but he’s still looking over his shoulder (ough…metaphorical….) he looks like he’s about to cry ?? Poor guy someone give him a hug :(

Gumshoe being perfect as always

I love that they invited this CHILD to come to the law offices to watch the lawyer who questioned him try to play video games. But also I don’t reasonably think he would be confused, so…

Lotta. She would definitely not understand. Also I love lotta, glad they brought her

Larry being Larry once again, and I bet Penny’s just happy to have someone new who’ll listen to her about Steel Samurai cards and such (please watch out girlie, bro is about to make a fool of himself) also isn’t that the statue from the studio on his shirt??

The storytelling here is crazy WHY IS THERE A KNOCKED OVER CUP?? Maya probably knocked it over but the fact that this was something included in the drawing is silly to me and I absolutely love it

Also I don’t think I really realized that Maya’s sleeves don’t span the whole length of her arm and only go down to barely past her elbow?? How am I NOW just registering this?

And she would definitely be the one to show everyone the Wii (how did they buy it? Phoenix barely gets paid as is)

PHOENIX I love him I love his face look at his befuddled expression…the way he sits…how his legs are bent…his suit jacket is unbuttoned, he’s more relaxed, which is the opposite of how Miles is at the moment (sorry I’m a little bit goofy hehe) HE JUST LOOKS SO SMOOCHABLE HERE

Also dude you gotta hold the wiimote more forwards or else the sensor isn’t gonna pick it up. That’s probably why y’all are confused. Maya’s trying to tell him that he’s doing it wrong

IMAGE 3: AA3

Characters: Max Galactica, Maya and Pearl Fey, Larry Butz, Regina Berry, Miles Edgeworth, Will Powers, Phoenix Wright, Dick Gumshoe, Franziska von Karma, Maggey Byrd

Rating: 11/10

Max I love you but only the version that isn’t weird so like uhh girls step away

THE ACE CARDS IN MAYA AND PEARLS HAIR,,,OUGH,,,,Maya having the Ace of Hearts…Pearl having the Ace of Diamond (Trucy’s shape,,,they will become like sisters, they just haven’t met yet)

LARRY GET AWAY FROM REGINA SHE’S 16

Regina you’re perfect, don’t change a thing

ALSO I JUST NOTICED THE WEB IN THE CORNER ABOVE REGINA WITH A SPIDER IN IT…Phoenix I thought you spent all that free time cleaning…or was it just the toilets you cleaned a lot…

MILES MILES MILES LOOK AT HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE SMILE LOOK AT HIM HE IS HAPPY!! HE’S GETTING THE AUTOGRAPH OF THE ACTOR OF HIS FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM HIS HYPERFIXATION I LOVE HIM he deserves all nice things

And Will…I don’t understand the canon narrative of people hating him without the Steel Samurai mask on because he genuinely looks so sweet and kind like CMONNNN

Phoenix…with his shirt unbuttoned a little…his sleeves rolled up…his arms…his tie doing the silly pocket thing and also he’s drinking out of that cup that was spilled in the previous image

Phoenix pog he is so goofy and for what

IS FRANZISKA LEFT HANDED or is she also just ambidextrous/showing off. Her calm expression, the way she sits…

Gumshoe will never understand I think and he’s perfect for it. He stands like a dad, but I’m not sure if I’d trust him to be someone’s father. He’s an uncle, because it means he doesn’t have to be responsible for a kid because bro can barely afford food on his own 😭

MAGGEY I love her look at how she is just leaning over the couch she is me fr

IMAGE 4:

Characters: Miles Edgeworth, Godot, Franziska von Karma, Phoenix Wright

Rating 11/10

Biased on this one, it’s my lock screen and this will never not be funny to me

They’re probably the only people in the world who would ever have a legitimate reason to wear the wiimote straps because have you seen how forcefully they point?

Miles…that’s all I can say…Ough I love him

The way Godot’s neck is bent kinda bothers me and it makes him feel like an action figure but you know what that’s okay

FRANZISKA ONCE AGAIN USING HER LEFT HAND I THINK SHE’S LEFT HANDED??? I love that for her look how confident she is

Phoenix has a big mouth and that’s funny to me. His hand just in his pocket so casually hehe

Why is Miles the only one not pointing

Final notes about the first 3 images all together

The time of day changes. The AA3 one is set at night, the AA1 one is later in the day, probably early evening, and the AA2 one is like midday

The office is the same in each image, including those books in the shelves which never change places because no one ever reads them. AND OH MY GOSH I JUST REALIZED THAT THE THING NEXT TO MILES IN THE AA3 IMAGE IS THE AUTOGRAPH HE GOT FROM WILL THAT MEANS IT IS REASONABLE TO ASSUME THAT THESE ALL TAKE PLACE IN THE SAME DAY?? Weirdly, it would have to go AA2, AA1, AA3 unless the AA1 image is actually in the morning and not early evening…you could assume that the AA2 image comes first as the light from the window is bright and Phoenix is holding that cup which is then knocked over in the AA1 image (unless they cleaned up the spill from AA1 and now Phoenix is drinking from that cup.) Also AA1 has him in his full suit, so I guess it would make more sense if that one came first and then AA2 because he isn’t wearing his suit jacket in that one and his sleeves are rolled up

AA3 is definitely last though because I JUST REALIZED THE CARD IN HIS POCKET IS PROBABLY FROM MAX and also he rolled his sleeves back down

Okay wait hold on now I need to think about these as 3 scenes from one day

Maybe Miles is looking out the window because he was told Will Powers would be showing up, and so he’s just excited for that and so he’s just watching for when he does

And then Will shows up and now Miles is smiling and he is getting the autograph

And then in the third one, Miles is happily playing the Wii, with his autograph next to him…

The only thing that would lead me to believe that these cannot take place in the same day is how much that spider web changes. It isn’t there in AA1, it’s there in AA2, and then it’s bigger in AA3

Regardless of all of that, these images are truly among my favourites and I’ve spent like 45 minutes at LEAST typing all of this so yeah and there might have been things I missed but I’ve already typed a lot

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

I don't mean to clog your inbox but I've been thinking a lot about parasocial relationships and nostalgia. 

The same people who call One Direction boys are the ones making Tiktok's featuring clips from 2011, same people insisting these men are best friends/brothers even though there's little evidence that most of them have any current relationship. It's the same people criticizing Sabrina Carpenter, a twenty-five-year-old woman, for simulating sex on stage because they still see her as a Disney Channel star.

It's been well documented that fame at a young age is incredibly toxic. I wonder how damaging it would be to the psyche if in the public eye, you're never allowed to grow up, to evolve, to make real adult mistakes and decisions. Never able to distance yourself from the past. 

One Direction was one of the first true parasocial bands in the social media era. Everything they did was packaged and marketed to the fans. It's so clear now how artificial it all was. It's not to say there wasn't real love, care or brotherhood between them, but nothing was organically developed. These weren't five guys who found each other and created lasting friendships. They weren't even allowed to be their true selves (Zayn marketed as mysterious, especially when he was actually goofy and mischievous in the earliest videos, reeks of racism). Even if there were real relationships (Larry - whatever it actually was) they were exploited and marketed to death. 

Every article about each of them since that time, especially since Liam's death, mentions the band. (With the exception of Harry since his team has successfully distanced him/destroyed the others. Although I expect he won't be able to avoid this as much now because the media loves to exploit tragedy). Imagine being linked to a coworker/friend/frenemy from a decade ago when you've changed and accomplished so much as an individual adult. I think it would fuck with anyone's head. 

Anyway this is a long ramble. It's just fascinating to see how tied to the past, to false relationships, we all are. 

The funny thing is we don’t even see some of the effects of parasocial relationships because of our tunnel vision.

Every time Louis is between projects or just “waiting,” the fandom goes stir crazy and we go through very predictable cycles. It’s happening right now.

First, we worry about Louis’ health. The benign side is joking about whether he’s drinking enough water or sleeping enough, or wondering if he’s on vacation. The malignant side is making up rumors about Louis going to rehab (which is deeply sadistic if you think about the 1D history).

Next, either we argue with 1D subfandoms or we make up fairy tales about how close they are now based on grainy 2011 videos and Louis seen within 2 feet of an ex-bandmate.

Next, we see fake receipts from someone’s sister’s boyfriend’s uncle’s ex-wife’s cousin about Larry sightings (“they’re not even 1D fans,” “they have no investment I swear,” “I’ll have to ask for more details,” “they don’t even know Louis but described his tattoos with alarming accuracy”), Louis sightings, outrage about Freddie, 1D rumors, “take it with a grain of salt but I choose to believe.” Blah blah blah. It’s all been done to death.

Next, leaks of songs and lyrics. (Just wait a few months.)

The thing about parasocial relationships is that it affects not just fans, but the 1D men and their families too. It defines them as much as it defines us. Because of this relationship, the 1D guys cannot live a private life— even if they could, they don’t know how to do it. They’re irreversibly fucked up.

We see the same thing in most of the Disney stars like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, the Jonas brothers, and Demi Lovato, and in Justin Bieber— the fact that their peak fame is almost imprinted onto their future selves, the fact that their acting out and transgressions can never be truly forgotten (the fact that they’re still being judged based on their perceived innocence or purity and cancelled for it).

We see it in every person whose childhood was put in front of a camera and broadcast to millions of people. The rate of psychological disorder, of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, poor sleep, and somatic illnesses is astronomical.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

A Second Long Rant About The Koffin Trio

Note: I decided to write about these three again (mostly about the genocide route) because I didn't cover everything I wanted to in my previous take, and you guys seemed to like it (I'm glad you enjoyed it as well, @beethovenus!), so here we go. If you haven't already, please read my previous ts!us post, since this is an addition to that.

Let's just say that the writers really outdid themselves when it comes to the genocide route, especially in regards to Harry and Larry. Never before did a video game leave me feeling so emotionally broken. The battle between the Boogiemen and Chara proves that comedic relief characters CAN and SHOULD be put in serious situations. It gives them much-needed depth.

At the beginning, Harry and Larry didn't take Chara seriously and only managed to make it out of the encounter alive because Crossbones/Sans intervened (which just goes to show how reckless both of them are) they're like annoying but loveable little kids i swear

It's this trait of theirs that led them to their downfall later on. I guess you could say that their appearance was meant to 'lighten the mood' of the otherwise dark genocide route, but it only made things worse for them in the long run. I remember reading a comment on YouTube once, and it mentioned how the Boogiemen resemble horror movie characters who die first due to their carelessness. And aside from the fact that they were not the first monsters to get killed by Chara, I agree 100%

Neither one of them believed that a human was even in the Underground, let alone a serious threat... that is, until they tried picking on Chara ↓

...which obviously didn't end well ↓

When they realized that they really WERE in danger, both visibly began to panic; neither one of them even tried to pretend to be fearless ↓

I've got to say that I love the contradictory traits the Boogiemen share: fearless but fearful, fun-loving but seeking safety, reckless but cautious.

Imo, as much as they like to goof off, they want someplace to come back to even more. Koffin-K is the one who makes the keep a place where they feel like they belong; a place that gives them comfort. KK's presence is what reassures them that they're taken care of. He's the one who makes Koffin Keep home.

In the present moment, Harry and Larry can afford to act goofy and careless because they're convinced that, no matter what happens, Koffin will always be there to save them, provide for them, and keep them safe in general.

There's a difference between who Harry & Larry were before and after they got hired (they seemed to have become more mischevious, more open to goofing off, and even more ambitious and confident).

I find it interesting that both of them were anxious/sceptical about working for Koffin when he first met them:

The two weren't attached to Koffin-K at all at the time. They didn't become loyal right off the bat; It took them (a short) time to warm up to him. And now that they are attached, I'm pretty confident that they're never leaving his side

The thing about Harry is that he used to rely on this one low-wage job and probably thought: "If I take the risk and come to regret becoming this weird guy's lackey, or if he fires me, I might never be able to come back to my safe job again and I'll be left with nothing. I'm not even qualified for anything other than menial chores!" yeah I headcanon that both him and Larry dropped out of high school at like 16 and never went to college in the first place I'm also really curious if Harry used to be attached to his previous boss (who he never mentioned) like he is to Koffin-K now, but I doubt it since he DID accept Koffin's job offer the very next day.

And Larry didn't want to risk anything either, even though he pretty much had nothing to lose. Even if he used to have a job as a janitor (if this is the case, I imagine his thought process was the exact same as Harry's), he still lacked a home. It's depressing to think about how Larry apparently wanted to continue his poor-quality life because he didn't believe anything different or better was out there. Or, he had no idea what having a better life even felt like. Maybe he thought he'd be WORSE OFF as Koffin-K's employee and/or that he'd fire him at some point. I just made myself sad, I love these guys a lot and empathize so much I feel like both of them believe they're not good enough and it hurts

Anyway, back to the genocide route.

After they're rescued, Flowey says:

Already setting up the fact that they'll either be an easy and/or optional battle. Nice.

Then we see Harry and Larry straight up putting themselves in danger to please Koffin-K:

Like, guys, I'm sure he would have understood if you hadn't obeyed his order this time. but they CAN'T let him down; they refuse After all, a mass murderer was on the loose

And once again, we're given a choice whether or not to fight them:

And finally, if we follow them... we get to this scene.

Oh god. THIS scene. Where do I even start?

Alright, time for some retrospect.

So, the two dummies have no way to escape and are forced to fight (with their very last conversation being AN UNRESOLVED ARGUMENT), Larry is ruthlessly pushed off the cliff (is this why it's called the ruthless route? Because if so, it fits perfectly), Harry screams his name and falls to his knees, completely dejected, and doesn't even attempt to run or fight, waiting to join Larry in death.

This moment hurts. This text especially. "Quick on his feet" but not quick enough; Larry's name is no longer next to his

No matter how much they annoy each other, the care is clear as day. That's another reason why I think of them as brothers. Harry is pretty fearful, right? And yet he'd rather turn to dust than live a life without Larry.

Sometimes I wonder how the scene would have played out if Harry had been given given the choice to either flee, stay and fight, or let us finish him off.

Ok, the third option would remain unchangeable, and the second would definitely result in his death whether or not he put up a fight, but the first one...

**ANGST WARNING**

Koffin-K would find Harry in his and Larry's house, curled up on their (now only his) bunk bed, sobbing uncontrollably and blaming himself over and over again. Then he'd hold him and they'd cry together. Koffin would regret not being more transparent with his care for his henchmen, and now that he was only left with one, he'd swear to be the best boss and father he could be.

It would take a while, but eventually Harry would stop crying himself to sleep every night, he'd go back to his mischievous self, he'd pull pranks and laugh and have fun because that's what Larry would have wanted.

Koffin and Harry's relationship would strengthen over time (sooner rather than later) and they'd become a true family. But every day, for the rest of his life, Koffin-K would wish that he had told Larry how much he loved him before he died. Harry would wish that, too.

But there was no way to turn back the clock, and the only thing they could do was hope that, wherever Larry was, he'd somehow know.

...he did.

I don't even want to image what would have happend if the roles had been reversed. Let's just say that Larry would have been absolutely shattered if Harry had gotten pushed off a cliff/died first. Based on his reaction if you beat Harry up during their fight in the neutral route, I don't even think he'd ever be able to move on from the pain of losing his brother best friend (or it would be SUPER hard).

Speaking of these scenes, Harry's first reaction was to get furious, Larry's was to burst into tears. What they have in common though was that they showed care for each other sigh... image limit strikes again

Larry also picked up on the purity of Chara's soul (or lack thereof) and it triggered Chara

It reminds me of how Ceroba picked up on the number of monsters Clover had killed

Long story short, I love how both Harry and Larry have their own quirks and personality. They're not just interesting as a duo, but separately, too. It's sometimes hard to remind yourself how, just because two people are a team, that doesn't mean they don't/can't exist as individuals.

I'm really curious to see Koffin-K's reaction to these two's deaths. REALLY REALLY curious.

I think that he'd completely break down (before that he'd be in denial) upon realizing that his idiots are actually gone forever and were killed by someone Koffin thought would make a good servant. Still, for some reason, I doubt he would become so enraged that he could avenge them by killing Chara.

Regardless of his reaction, he'd definitely miss them a lot.

When everyone was gone, Harry and Larry were the first on his mind i feel like they're his biggest headache but also the two monsters he loves most, in his own unique way

Random thoughts as a bonus bc why not:

I swear, it seemed like they wanted to say "You're talking to THE COUNT'S lackeys!" and "You ain't the dad of us to tell us what to do!" Also, Harry looks scared/nervous/unsure/ af. These guys really are both cowardly and impulsive

Istg, they act like (man)children with Koffin being their strict but goofy dad mom who makes them do chores when they'd rather laze around (I know it's part of their job and everything but the way they talk about their duties gives me this vibe)

...yeah, just KK acting like an annoyed dad, nothing new to see here

Remember how, in the last post I wrote, I said that Harry and Larry are materialistic (for a good reason)? Yeah, they're so materialistic that they'd even "betray" their boss for some cash (unrelated, but I love this game's humor)

These two have a dog's loyalty, but even their house looks like a doghouse (or maybe it's just tiny compared to the keep). Speaking of the keep...

Interesting that, whoever wrote on this wiki, didn't include the other workers almost like it's just the three of them that are a family while the others are just there for the easy money

[a-larry-retrospective-blog]

Before we start

I feel like I need to make a pinned post to introduce myself before I go on further with 'crying shaking throwing up' posts. So. Here it is!

You can call me R. I'm a '96 baby, not in the sense that I'm actually a baby but in the sense "you CAN and should do the math" because I know this blog will be updated so sporadically I'm not gonna update my age. Right now I'm 28, but you could be reading this as I'm approaching my 30s.

Three things about me: I'm haunted by Sherlock Holmes and the ghost of johnlock, I'm a TS scholar in the sense that I've been listening and reading and analysing her shit since i was at the ripe age of 13 years old, and all this should lead y'all to understand that I'm both a tinhatter and a deeply skeptic person. I have trust issues AND I like making theories, is that so bad?

Now, how the fuck did I end up here?

Imagine: it's the year of our lord 2024. I've been away from the 1D fandom, and the Larry fandom even more specifically (I was a lurker) for almost ten (10) years.

I used to lurk in Larry spaces between ?I think late 2011? to 2014. You can imagine what kind of fun year was 2012 to me. (Haylor is still, to this day, my Roman empire.)

Back in the day, I was a bit gullible (not to the point of believing the reborn dolls shit, sorry), so my thoughts in the last ten years have always been "well I don't know what actually happened between them: maybe they were, maybe they weren't" because i was Young (15 to 18) and not from an english speaking country and I probably missed a lot of nuance, and i didn't have the tools to analyse that stuff critically.

I didn't even listen to their albums unless a track was sneaked into my Spotify algorithm. And even then, I didn't pay that attention to lyrics or anything.

I'm blissfully ignorant, and I know I'm happy.

Fast forward to last month: the clock app (we all know the one) recommends me a video with Love of my life (as a TS scholar I cannot shorten it for fear of confusing the two). I'm like: huh. Inch resting. Let's hear the whole song. Oh, it's about "England"? I did not know an entire country could take a plane! Welcome back Sherlock from the hit BBC serie saying he missed "London" while talking about John, I guess?

Now I'm being silly goofy, but that kind of shocked me deeply to my core. Because like, okay. You're a songwriter and you're a DramatiqueTM songwriter at that. But. You WERE the love of my LIFE when you've barely reached a quarter of your life is objectively insane. That's something that has left a mark on you. And somehow I deeply doubt it's about one of his highly public relationship with one of the "blue eyed models" that Blondie was talking about.

So I started to dig into their songwriting catalogues, and boi oh boi. My frontal lobe is fully developed (hopefully), I have little to no parasocial relationship with two guys who I haven't looked for in the last ten (10) years, I'm an adult with a job and a degree and a second one on the way, and yet my first thought reading their lyrics was "oh, you guys are still both at the fucking restaurant, huh".

And now, here I am, with a new sideblog because I can't inundate my friends' dashboards with stuff we all agreed we outgrew ten years ago. I know I made this introduction so easily recognisable my friends could see it's me from a mile away. If you end up here, sorry for the war flashbacks! I love you!

I hope you all can enjoy your stay as I rediscover old Larry stuff, find out what I've missed in the last ten years, and generally comment on the state of whatever these two are doing.

[vampyre-rat]

i was never a one direction fan (read one larry fic on wattpad set in victorian england and pictured louis as a ginger as part of my pretending i wasnt reading one direction fanfic) but last night i had a dream i was watching a "1D funniest moments" yt compilation from like 2015 and reminiscing about how much i loved watching that video when it first came out. also harry styles had a northern accent but this was not an inconsistency of my dream there was LORE around his accent. like when they started the band that was his real accent but he changed it as they got more famous bc he was embarrassed about being from the north of england so he adopted his current accent. and also he was the funny goofy one of the group, idk if that's accurate to real life tho

[bluewinnerangel]

Can you talk about/break down this interview if you havent already? It honestly cracks me up so much. It has a little bit of everything: Domestic husbands, goofy Louis making Niall laugh, hilarious facial expressions from Liam, and a very smiley Zayn.

https://youtu.be/Ahf5HGbB3mA

No pressure if not, hope you are well! 😊

This is not much of a breakdown it's more of a ramble aklsdjakls I LOVE THIS ONE but I don't think I could go over the whole thing even if I tried. it's 7 minutes of total chaos and every second way way waayy too much happens. I'd probably write a whole essay about the first 30 seconds and just burn out before I'll get to the good stuff (like what happened here). Ok ok ok just some highlights instead (again gif making skill level: potato. sorrysorry massive respect to gif creators)

0:54 the kiss. This interviewer being that creepy uncle here asking Harry for a kiss which ew but look at all their reactions.

Gifs+rambles=cut:

Liam's like bitch don't fucking back up into me and also why am I standing here anyway wtf I'm part of the band why am I squashed between you two?

Louis had no choice but to step back because

Harry leans over to kiss her with no attempt whatsoever not to big spoon Louis while he's at it.

Harry is just being polite here really what else is he gonna do?

Louis' his face is just pure gold and the looking into the camera after ok jim halpert akljkldfgjk he's too much.

Zayn out there checking Niall and Louis' reactions?

Niall's body language? what's that? It looks like he's mirroring the interviewer.

And watch Harry and Niall shake their heads when the creepy uncle goes "whheeuuuww" in response to the kiss. Who is Niall looking at here? Louis? the interviewer? Liam? Who is he shaking his head to? Just his own thoughts? Anyway BUT THEN

BUT THEN the interview moves on and creepy aunticle asks the first question to which Louis just does not give her anything at all, like he's fucking with her job here basically and I see this as not entirely isolated from what just happened a few seconds prior? That he goes nope bitch nope none of your questions you steal a kiss I steal your phone

And I love the lack of response from the rest of the boys. Look at the interviewer on the left like that's the normal "louis being funny" response. I don't think they're confused or anything I think they know Louis is being a lil shit and they just know him well enough to recognize this is payback lol. He just punches in with "Great question is that an iphone?" just throwing her off. And when what follows is just the best shit ever. except for that creep is there just going oh look at these silly little boys hehe laughlaugh and I CANT STAND HER HOLY asldkja

The whole thing lasts from 1:08-2:01 or something and it just oh god save me it's sparks on the screen. When I talk about Louis & Harry not interacting in front of cameras because when they do it's an instant giveaway with chemistry fireworks and fking twin flame these shits are just one braincell one clump of soulmate ridiculousness this is what I mean. Once Louis pulls that shit in stealing her phone they just recline into a Larry bubble and we just get a glimpse of them and there's nothing they can do to make it look less married. they. don't. know. how. to. bro. dude. interact. with. each. other.

LOOK AT THESE FUCKERS RIGHT AFTER THAT BEHAVIOR (I deepfried the footage again god how does one gif):

"ROB THAT" - "I'M GONNA STEAL IT" kleptomaniac mfers

2:50 more domestic mfers so damn domestic thinking to know what the other has and hasn't seen istg

Also highlight some more parts of them being visibly done with the creepy uncle:

Besides Louis also check Zayn when she invades Louis' space (4:52):

Louis when she just fking sneaks up on him again srsly wtf (6:58):

Ok this really isn't much of a breakdown, there's SO MUCH MORE to this video that one could ramble on about forever but either I post this now or it stays in the drafts forever so there you go lol

More like this (I'm trying to tag em "interview moments" but: lilo flirty one - louis flirty narry cracking uppy one - Niall asking to go to the toilet on a talkshow one)

[1ddotdhq]

💀 Mon 26 Oct ‘20 Part 2 🍽

Sony Canada started the day by posting an old tweet of Louis’ on instagram edited in on a sky’s background (because, as we’ve established, Louis is the SUN!). The tweet reads, “Hope everyone’s doing alright. X” and Sony’s captions was, “Good morning ☀️ daily reminder: kindness matters x”. Their VERY NEXT POST was about Harry’s (sunny) golden video. Well, one thing that I’m LOVING is how Harry and Louis’ brands are merging and they BOTH represent kindness. Louis, in particular, was kind today: he took to twitter again, sharing a tweet that contained another link to Marcus Rashford’s petition to end child hunger, saying, “Watching what @/MarcusRashford is doing is incredible. Please do take the time to sign if you live in the UK. Our children are our future.” We all know how I feel about this cause, so every time Louis tweets about it, my heart DOUBLES in size, I certainly WOULD walk through fire for him! 

Then, people discovered a hidden Lyric Drop Two release on Louis’ website! At first, it was password protected, but we got enough of a glimpse of the design to know that it is a skull with a tophat (the top hat has the xx smiley emoji on it) over a cauldron: that’s right, it’s a HALLOWEEN-THEMED  KILL MY MIND MERCH DROP. Then, suddenly - presumably because fans found the merch and saw the design - they took it down! I wonder if anyone guessed the password. If you did, was it “LouisIsSoGolden”? Don’t be shy, you can tell us! And, in today’s Larry updates, it was noted that John Frusciante bears a striking resemblance to longhaired!Harry (he really really does!), and, when a fan told Lizzo that they were dressing up as Louis for Halloween, she said, “Ooh! I should be Harry Styles”, cause yes as everyone knows you can’t have one without the other! Anyway, gotta say if Louis is really in California, he’s certainly listening to the right theme music, as the Red Hot Chili Peppers aren't just about their looks; they also have a nearly endless number of songs about the sunny state. And, speaking of Louis’ business in California, celebtm announced a part two to their boobiegate article AND Brett came back to the interwebs, minus a certain child: he has deleted (or archived) all pictures of Freddie. Hmmmm.

Liam is still making Tik Tok rounds with spooky (and downright scary) joint content with MUA Abby Roberts as well as a goofy video bopping his head up and down to a … song about food? I’m mentioning it because I cackled loudly upon first watching it, and I think you all should too. Meanwhile, Niall was also on Instagram posting a picture in his boat shirt, cool shades, and a pretty background, promoting his show. And, in NIALL’S extended universe (which hasn’t been as active lately as it used to be): Greg James exposed Niall for his hair product usage on Instagram, posting a text conversation where he tells Niall that he should use oil instead of rough paste, and that “when you get to the luscious lengths Shawn [Mendes] and I have, you’ll understand x”. Niall fires back, calling their hair “two mops”, and Greg put it up on instagram, cc’ing Shawn Mendes, saying that “someone’s getting jealous”. Is this...Shiall content in the year 2020? Love that for us! 

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

I would love for you to talk more indepth about the montage. To me it feels so off and weird. Almost like a parody? So many scenes in it are "funny" moments that just don't make sense in the context of an emotional overview of the road so far... (Like all the scenes where Dean is eating, Donna with donut dust on her face, Sam getting hit during the game show.) I don't know. Isn't the montage supposed to make me nostalgic, teary-eyed? This one definitely doesn't do it for me!

Here I am! Yes, I absolutely agree. The montage is Weird(TM). It’s kind of a tone rollercoaster. It’s very full of funny/silly moments, with some serious moments smacked in. And it definitely looks like... there’s something about it.

For an easier consultation I will reference the gifs I have made of the montage sequence here.

[Gif 1] It starts pretty much like I’d expect a Supernatural goodbye montage to start. The two brothers meeting for the first time in the pilot, a reminder of their childhood with John, their banter still from the pilot, a couple moments of them driving in the car in the first seasons, Dean saving Lucas in 1x03 which is the first Dean-heavy episode and also an extremely symbolic moment for Dean’s entire journey - just think at how Lucas as a mirror was still relevent during the “drowning” Michael possession arc. Everything feels normal so far. We’re starting from the beginning! Now--

[Gif 2] Interesting and weird choices start here. Them pretending to be high school teachers from After School Special 4x13 - actually a very iconic moment for the fandom, remember that post of Dean in shorts from that episode that you had to reblog when it came on your dash? (Actually I’m not sure if I ever reblogged it lol.) Dean celebrating getting young again from The Curious Case of Dean Winchester 5x07 (and Jensen showing off his agility). The two of them showing their FBI badges to Jesse Turner’s biological mother in 5x06. Dean mowing the lawn of Mary’s house in the Djinn dream and immediately after Jess and Sam kissing also in the Djinn dream, from What Is And What Should Never Be 2x20. Then Dean after killing the witch when he was under the memory loss spell, in Regarding Dean 12x11. Sam happy when they celebrate Christmas in A Very Supernatural Christmas 3x08. Them being “lucky” under the effect of the rabbit’s foot in Bad Day At Black Rock 3x03. Sam also happy in Baby 11x04.

Again the present, then the montage starts again with the water-related ghost from Red Sky At Morning 3x06, a Bela episode, and then Bela herself from her first episode, 3x03 again.

What do these moments have in common? Not all of them, but for many of them I’d say reality being manipulated. The Djinn dream, the rabbit foot, Dean’s aging, the Antichrist... and it’s not over yet. Also, them pretending to be teachers, agents etc - not “real”.

[Gif 3] The tone suddenly gets more serious and relevant to current events: Chuck in The Monster at the End of This Book 4x18 (eh). Death in Two Minutes to Midnight 5x21 (the first appearance of Death, while now we’ve had Billie’s last and a very short-lived new one), and then two major moments from Lazarus Rising - Dean emerging from the grave and finding the handprint on his shoulder. Crowley’s first episode, Abandon All Hope 5x10. Zachariah’s death in Point Of No Return 5x18. Anna from The Song Remains The Same 5x13, where she is the antagonist having been brainwashed successfully by heaven. Michael burning and Sam jumping in the cage with Michael in 5x22, then another moment from 4x01 (the brothers hugging after reuniting). A moment from The French Mistake 6x15 (reality fuckery again!). Sam in Frontierland 6x18.

[Gif 4] Reality fuckery continues with Becky marrying Sam in 7x08. Funnily enough, this is the peak of Becky’s obsessive behavior which she went to therapy for and grew away of - it definitely emphasizes how far Becky has come. Donna’s first appeance in 9x13. That iconic shot of Dean in Bloodlust 2x03 because he’s pretty. Charlie’s first appearance in 7x20 while she dances to Walking On Sunshine (relevant?), Kevin’s first appearance in 7x21 when he becomes a prophet (lots of firsts). Abaddon’s first appearance in As Time Goes By 8x12. Then there’s the first appearance of the bunker, in the next episode, a couple shots in fact. Then more 4x01, Ruby pretending to mistake Dean for the pizza man (eh). Then more present...

This section seems to be mostly “first appearances” - including Ruby’s s4 meatsuit, i.e. Genevieve’s first appearance.

[Gif 5] We suddenly jump to more recent events with Kelly and Jack in heaven in Byzanthium 4x08. Jack’s iconic hello from 4x16 Don’t Go In The Woods. Dean teaching Jack how to drive in 14x07 Unhuman Nature. But then we suddenly go from Jack things to something completely different on the surface: two consecutive moments from Changing Channels 5x08, including the iconic Nutcracker scene, and Sully from Just My Imagination. We are actually back to the previous theme: reality fuckery. Gabriel’s episode was about placing them in “television shows”, Sully, while real, is literally a child’s “imaginary friend”. And then... a moment from the cartoon part of Scoobynatural! It doesn’t get more reality fuckery than that. Oh, wait! Charlie and Dorothy going to Oz in 9x04. That’s a pretty strong contender. Dean being hit in the face by a fairy in 6x09 - also about a realm Dean briefly went to. And, in case we felt like we hadn’t gotten enough 4x01 yet, Pamela’s first appearance (her last, albeit a hallucination, was about the whole “How come you only want what you can't have?” thing).

[Gif 6] We continue again with a mixture of firsts and weird things. Ellen’s first appearance in 2x02, Dean and Cas in 4x18 (we saw Chuck from that episode earlier), Jody’s first appearance in 5x15 Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Rufus in 6x04 Weekend At Bobby’s (not his first but a good episode...), Garth in 9x12 Sharp Teeth (not his first but the first in which he is a werewolf and is married... relevant to recent lamp events??), Missouri in 1x09 (her first appearance).

Then Gabriel from 13x21 Beat The Devil (an episode where he plays a trick on Lucifer) and Rowena from the same scene (in fact a scene where they’re flirting).  Then Eileen coming back to life in 15x06 and smiling at Sam. Jo flirting with Dean in 2x02 - her first appearance, again. Funnily enough, she had been introduced as a love interest, but ended up being repurposed as a sisterly figure. Tempted to say it’s relevant in an ironic way. Mary in 14x11 Damaged Goods, when Dean has a goodbye mother-son moment with her. Amara in 11x09 Oh Brother Where Art Thou when she was looking for her brother. Then Lucifer in two different vessels (12x07 Rock Never Dies and 12x21, when Lucifer regains control over the vessel).

Then Metatron doing the find a wife make babies speech to Cas in 8x23! Relevant??? Dun dun dun. Then Ketch for some reason (the first episode where we see his face, 12x08 LOTUS).

[Gif 7] Then Jo/Anael in 13x13, another first appearance. (I cropped these horribly I should have cut them when the present happens lol.)

Sandwiched between two shots from the present, Dean Sam Mary and John having dinner together in 14x13 Lebanon.

Then we start again with Dean riding Larry in 12x11, Dean and Cas dressed as cowboys in 13x06 (mini pattern here...), Asmodeus with the archangel blade in 13x13 (insert meta about Asmodeus in Christian lore here), and the really intriguing “Intermission” shot from the play in 10x05.

[Gif 8] To continue a certain pattern we might be tempted to see, Dean eating piecake from 14x06 Optimism (an episode about a distorted version of romantic love), then Dean eating noodles from 10x13 Halt & Catch Fire (the ghost is a husband that passes on thanks to his wife). Dean after his dentistry session with Garth in 15x10. Meg from 6x10 Caged Heat (the episode with the pizza man porn). Dean and Sam investigating in 4x12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag (an episode about growing old poorly). Crowley in 10x16 Paint It Black (that episode). Dean playing that game in 14x17 Game Night (the episode Cas calls for God, and when Mary dies - the one playing the game was God...). Sam and Dean getting out of the car in 13x05 when they visit the traumatized kid (peak mourning Dean episode...). Then we go into reality fuckery territory again with 14x15 Peace of Mind, Sam under the psychic’s control and Cas disgruntled about it.

[Gif 9] Mick Davies from 12x16 Ladies Drink Free, when he learnt a lesson about monsters. Dean geeking out about the Hatchet Man - so heavy with mirror significances - in 14x04 Mint Condition. Belphegor - Jack’s dark mirror - in 15x03 The Rupture, the break-up episode. Donna’s first episode again, this time Dean and she eating donuts. Dean, Sam and Mary hugging in 12x22 after the confrontation in Mary’s head. Kaia in 13x09 The Bad Place, when Jack uses her to find the way to where Mary is (Mary pattern?). Claire&co rescuing Jody and Donna in 13x10 Wayward Sisters. Dean in 1944 dresses as a sailor in 11x14 The Vessel. Baby nyooming in 15x11 The Gamblers...

Aaand more Changing Channels, the genital herpes ad. It’s almost like reality fuckery is a theme. Followed by Sam drinking the anti-cold concoction at Garth’s in 15x10 and the two of them outside the monster fighting pit in the same episode. Then Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack on a video call with Ketch in 14x09 The Spear when they talk about the egg to trap Michael.

[Gif 10] We stay in the same episode with the four of them heading to Michael. Then the four of them celebrating Jack’s return to life (after Cas’ deal with the Empty). More present, and then the iconic “we’ve got work to do” [trunk closes] moment from the pilot.

So: some of these moments seem like genuine moments you’ll want to put in a montage, but there’s a weird predominance of characters smiling and looking happy or goofy. It’s kind of... not exactly representative of the show as a whole, you know? There are moments that fit as, you know, iconic steps in the story, but surprisingly few, and many moments you’d expect to be in a “final” montage are blatantly not there. Several moments with, let’s put it like this, suspicious meta connotations. Moments that, well, we don’t know what happens in the finale yet, but smell like they might be relevant to future developments. (Metatron’s speech to newly human Cas anyone?)

What really strikes me is the amount of moments connected to reality being manipulated or distorted in some way. Lots of Changing Channels, fantasy elements of various kinds (the Djinn dream, Scoobynatural, Oz, the imaginary friend Becky’s wedding to Sam, the fairy, ...), them acquiring luck (s3) or losing it (s15), and so on. It’s almost like the sequence is telling us something...

Thoughts?

[baycitystygian]

styx and rush for the band ask :)

oh this’ll be fun

favorite song:

-it is so damn near impossible to choose a styx song they are my homeboys and it’s so HARD to pick just ONE

-rush? probably temples of syrinx one day I will learn the words and screech them out proudly

least favorite song:

-styx: krakatoa, why was that even a thing JC are you okay honey

-rush: I don’t know enough of their songs to have a least favorite

have I seen them live?

-styx: five times. I make it a yearly pilgrimage during which my stygianity is replenished and my faith is restored

-rush: HELL YES

I took this photo!!! in 2015!! it was their last tour and I was really glad to be able to go and I had no idea it would really really REALLY be their last tour 🥺but it was PHENOMENAL 11/10 an experience I’m grateful to have had

favorite member?

-out of styx? how DARE you make me choose they are ALL perfect albeit messy it’s glen

-don’t have one out of rush- they’re such a good dynamic together that to pick one would be peanut butter without jelly

least favorite member?

I DONT HAVE A LEAST FAVORITE THEY ARE ALL ICONIC I refuse to even choose between Dennis and Larry because I love them allllllllll

how many of their records do I have:

-styx: all of them

-rush- 2112, fly by night, exit stage left, moving pictures, signals, probably a few more I’m forgetting??? oh and a canadian thing where one side was Rush songs and one side was Max Webster 11/10 excellent combo

favorite album?

-styx: again??? how can I choose ONE?????? it’s cyclorama please @ me I will throw HANDS it’s such a good record

-rush: fly by night or exit stage left

favorite lyrics?

-uhhhhhhh I’m bad with lyrics because I’m that person that does not give a single shit if I understand what’s being sung but Neil had some very Insightful™️ lyrics and listening to rush somewhat puts me in that douchey mindset of Everything Is Deep™️ let me quoth this great poet

-speaking of Douchery™️ I remember going WAY too hard when decorating a binder for school once and writing “real life sure isnt like school, there’s some lessons that just can’t be taught” from Great White Hope on it and I really thought I was that edgy-

favorite video?

-the styxworld video where JY says he really would like to spank britney spears

-any of the goofy skits Rush did yes I know this question refers to music videos but you tell me that Dinner with Rush or the “I’m lookin for some chicken” video doesn’t make you piss yourself with laughter

met any members?

only lawrence henry gowan during each of his solo shows I’ve seen and it’s mildly bothersome that todd is ALWAYS his drummer during the solo shows yet he’s so elusive literally the others will be chilling and saying hi to random people and todd is just like “I am invisible... I am impossible to track down... good fucking luck”

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 9

November 14th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was looking at herself in the mirror.  

She wore a beautiful, shimmery navy blue dress she thought completely colour-appropriate for the occasion and used the same pair of heels she wore to prom to complete the outfit.  She’d taken an Uber though the walk would have only been seven minutes (she didn’t want to do that in heels) to the Ritz-Carlton Hotel on Wellington Street, where the dinner was taking place in the Wellington Room.  Many of the official guests were already there: Kyle and his wife Shannon; Peter, his assistant; Brandon and Laurence and their wives; Cliff Fletcher; Brad Lynn; Leanne Hederson; Hayley Wickenheiser; Mike Babcock and his wife; all of the Leafs community representatives who just happened to be Leafs alumni.  Then, all the big wigs from MLSE there: the entire Board of Directors, Larry Tanenbaum included; and the entire “Leaders” team anybody could see on the official website.  The people that she didn’t recognize she could only assume were the major donors – the reason they were all there.

John and his wife Aryne thankfully saw her almost immediately and hugged her, keeping her company until Brendan arrived.  He had texted her that he was two minutes away, and when he did, she went to meet him at the door.  He exited the town car with his wife Catherine, looking absolutely glamourous.  Lou waved at her from the front seat.

“Hello Aberdeen,” Brendan smiled as he approached her, his wife’s arm tucked into his.  

“Good evening Mr. Shanahan.”

“Brendan,” he quipped.  “Aberdeen, I’d like you to meet my wife, Catherine.  Catherine this is Aberdeen, my executive assistant.”

“Hi Aberdeen,” she smiled widely, extending her hand to shake.  “It’s so nice to finally meet you.  Brendan has told me so much about you.”

“Only the good things, I hope,” she joked.

“Brendan can only say good things about Etobicoke girls,” she winked.  “You look fabulous, by the way.”

“Oh, thank you!”

The three of them walked through the foyer and up the stairs together, with Catherine almost immediately seeing someone she knew, letting go of Brendan’s arm and going over to say hi.  “Do you want me to get you anything?  A drink maybe?” Aberdeen asked.

“Not right now.  I just need to know where my wife and I are sitting.”

“We’re at table one, just to the right of the stage,” she informed him.  “We’re with Kyle and Shannon, Peter, Masai and Ramatu, and Larry and Judy Tanenbaum.”

“Perfect.  Thank you.  And the prizes are all here?”

“Yes sir.  If you go into the Wellington Room they’re all along the wall like you requested.”

“And my speech?”

Aberdeen tapped at her clutch – a borrow from Kasha.  “Right here.”

“Good thing I always keep an extra one,” he said, tapping his chest to where his inside pocket was.  He let out a breath.  “Everybody here?”

“Seems like it, but I know we’re still waiting for a few more people.  I haven’t seen some familiar faces.”

“Okay,” he nodded.  “Well, feel free to mingle, Aberdeen.  This is a good opportunity for you to meet people.  When we’re all seated for dinner, I’ll let you know if you need to do anything – if that.  Just enjoy your time.”

She was a bit taken aback by that statement.  “W…what?  But I’m on the clock.  You said so yourself.”

Brendan laughed.  “I want you to mingle and have fun.  Network a bit.  I know all of these people.  I don’t need to be reminded of who they are,” he explained.  “There’s only a hundred or so of them anyway.  The Night With the Blue and White in January – that’s much bigger.  This is child’s play.  So have fun,” he smiled at her.  “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go find my wife.”

“Okay sir.”

“Brendan,” he looked over his shoulder slightly as he walked away from her, approaching his wife who was chatting with an equally glamourous looking woman.

Aberdeen didn’t know what to do with herself.  He wanted her to network?  Not work?  Really?  She tried to find a familiar face in the crowd, but John and Aryne were speaking to another couple, and even Peter, Kyle’s assistant, was engrossed in a conversation with Leanne Hederson.  She felt awkward approaching them even though she knew Leanne and spoke with her on multiple occasions.  Being in an office was one thing, but in such a formal setting like this, the vibe was much different.  

“Girl Friday?” a voice asked from behind her.  

She closed her eyes and immediately cringed.  Turning around, she saw Ethan Baker standing behind her.  She tried not to vomit in her mouth.  “You really need to stop calling me that.”

“You got an invite?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked.

“I thought this was only for important people,” he said.

She rolled her eyes.  A waitress approached them with some flutes of drinks, and Aberdeen took one, knowing she’d need alcohol to get through whatever conversation she was about to have with Ethan.  Ethan took one too, taking a quick sip.  “Thanks, Ethan.  I can always count on you to bring me back down to earth when my head is getting too big,” she quipped.

“You look good though,” he said.  

She furrowed her brows; she didn’t know a compliment was capable of coming out of his mouth.  “Uh, thanks?”

He gave her a very obvious up-down, taking her all in.  This was getting more awkward by the second.  Was he already drunk?  He focused in on her arms.  “You have tattoos?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Why haven’t I seen them?”

“I guess you weren’t looking.”

Ethan furrowed his brows.  “Has Brendan seen them?”

“Of course he has.  It’s not like they’re offensive.  They’re lines from poems,” she said, almost immediately regretting it.  She knew she was going to have to explain them at one point or another, but she wanted to prolong that as much as possible.

“What are they?” he asked, turning his head to the side as if that would give him a better look.

She sighed.  “The one below the right elbow is the last line from the poem Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson – ‘to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield’,” she said, flashing the delicate ink quickly.  “And the one below the left elbow is from the Roman philosopher Seneca – ‘we are waves of the same sea’.”

He squinted at them, taking in the information that she was telling him.  “They’re a bit dumb, Brendan Girl.”

Aberdeen’s breath hitched in her throat.  She didn’t need stupid idiot Ethan Baker to approve of her tattoos by any means, but even unacknowledging them or changing the subject immediately afterwards would have been nicer.  He had no idea what they meant to her; no idea about their significance.  And now, he even gave her another stupid nickname.  Even stupider than the last.  “Wow, you really know how to charm a girl, huh?”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“And all this time I thought you just watched video playback all day.”

“More important than getting coffee, wouldn’t you say?”

“Hey, Aberdeen!” a voice suddenly called out from across the foyer.  Both Ethan and Aberdeen looked to see Jason and Jennifer Spezza approaching them.  Aberdeen had never been so happy to see his goofy smile in her life.  From behind him, she saw William wearing a perfectly tailored three-piece blue suit.  God, they fucking matched.  Of all colours he had to wear tonight…

“Hey Jason,” Ethan said, trying to take over, even going so far as extending his hand so Jason could shake it.  

Jason completely ignored him as he leaned in to give Aberdeen a quick kiss on the cheek.  Aberdeen eyed William standing behind him as he did so, who was looking down at Ethan’s hand.  “Aberdeen, you’ve met Jen at the SBA,” he said, motioning between her and his wife.  

“It’s so nice to see you again, Aberdeen,” Jen smiled as she gave her a kiss on the cheek.  “I love your dress.”

“Oh, thanks Jen!” Aberdeen smiled, patting it down slightly, suddenly a bit self-conscious.  Much like Aryne Tavares and Catherine Shanahan, Jen looked absolutely glamourous and flawless.  Aberdeen, on the other hand, felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb.  She was appropriately dressed, but these women just exuded a confidence and elegance she was sure she didn’t have.  At least yet.  She eyed William patiently waiting for a greeting and decided to indulge him.  “Hi William.”

“Hey Aberdeen,” he said, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek.  “Do I look good?”

“You look like you should be in an Abba tribute band.”

Jason, Jen, and William laughed at her comment; Ethan did not.  He had never been in on the joke.  “Well, we match,” William commented, eyeing her body in the dress.

“You know what they say…great minds,” Jason quipped.  

***

The dinner was going off without a hitch.  She sat in between Brendan and Peter at the table, looking out onto all the guests seated at theirs.  Brendan made a nice speech before dinner, as did Larry Tanenbaum.  They had a champagne toast and were served a delicious appetizer.  Aberdeen was looking forward to the incoming filet.  She excused herself from the table to go to the bar, wanting to grab a ginger ale before the main course.  She wouldn’t drink in front of Brendan, despite his insistence that it was okay.  

As she waited, she saw Ethan approach the bar too, but she tried to ignore him.  He ended up standing right next to her, so interaction was inevitable.  She truly wondered why he wanted to interact with her so much if all he did was put her down.  It was clear he had a sick ego, and that putting people down fed that ego.  But why did he pick on her?  And did he pick on anyone else?  Maybe people in his own department?

She decided not to say hi to him – not to start an interaction at all.  Maybe he’d ignore her and be on his merry way.  But as with every interaction with Ethan, that would not be the case.  “You having a good time at the table with the big boys, Brendan girl?” he asked, leaning one arm against the bar.

“It’s fun,” she nodded her head, trying to say as little as possible.

“I still can’t believe you’re in that position.  That he hired you over some of the more qualified people that applied,” he shook his head.

How the hell did he know?  How the hell did video analyst Ethan Baker know any of the other candidates who applied to the posi—oh my God.  ‘Oh my God’ Aberdeen thought to herself.  He applied to the position.  He knew who the other candidates were because he applied to the position and didn’t get it.  Brendan hired her instead.  That’s why he was the way he was with her.  “Why is it so unbelievable?” she asked, now having to mask the fact that she knew why he was always being a dick to her.

“Do you even know, or did you even hear of who Larry Tanenbaum was before you worked here?”

“I’m sorry, but did we all not watch him lift the Larry O’Brien in June?” she asked.  “Do you honestly think I’m that dumb?”

“I don’t think you’re dumb.  I just think you’re unqualified,” he clarified, because that made it so much better.  “It’s a great job.  I just hope you know how lucky you are.”

“I do,” she said.  That was all she heard since she started this job.

“And besides – it’s a good thing that your friends with the guys now, you know,” he said, the jealousy coming back in his voice.

“Why’s that?”

He shrugged his shoulders.  “It makes the job easier.  Maybe one of them will take pity on you.  You’ll never survive Brendan,” he said matter-of-factly.  

Her mouth dropped.  She’d been surviving so far, albeit with some hiccups along the way…what made him think she would never survive Brendan?  “E…Excuse me?”

“You seem nice…smart,” he said.  “You can’t do that job.”

The bartender finally placed her ginger ale in front of her – and thank God he did, because she’d had enough.  Fuck him.  Fuck Ethan Baker.  “Gotta go,” she mumbled, turning on her heels to leave.

“Bye Brendan Girl.”

***

“It was so nice to see you, Aberdeen,” Jennifer Spezza hugged her one last time as Jason waved at her from the curb.  She was still inside, keeping warm; he was out on the sidewalk, hailing a taxi.  “You’re getting an Uber, right?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Aberdeen nodded her head, flashing her phone.

Jen looked towards William.  “And you’re staying with her until it comes?”

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded his head.

“Good,” she said definitively.  She pushed the door open with William’s help.  “I’ll see you soon, Aberdeen.  Stay safe!” she called out as she ran as quickly as her heels could let her towards the taxi.  Jen sent one final wave as the taxi drove away, leaving Aberdeen and William alone.

Will was, of course, the first to look at her.  “How far away is the Uber?” he asked.

“Two minutes according to the app,” Aberdeen said as she glanced at her phone.  

“And you don’t…I mean, you don’t want to walk home?” he asked, a glimmer of hope in his voice.  

“Not in these heels,” Aberdeen giggled.  “My feet are already killing me.”

“I could carry you.”

Aberdeen gave Will a look.  “We’re not going to do that to your back.”

“Come on,” he smiled mischievously.  “I bet I could do it.”

“Too bad we’re not going to try,” she said, glancing down at her phone again.  “We should go outside to wave the car down.”

William opened the door for her, and they walked out together.  Aberdeen looked to her left to try to see if the car was coming.  William was only looking at her – how she looked between the street and her phone to see if the car was getting any closer.  How her hair blew in the wind of the night.  “Tomorrow’s going to be the last time I see you for two weeks,” he said, his voice low.  He tried to imprint how she looked right now into his mind so he could remember it on the road trip.  

“I know.”

“Did Brendan tell you why he wasn’t coming with us?” he asked.  

“No.  But it’s probably because it’s too long to be away from his family,” Aberdeen said.  “His kids are his life.  He wouldn’t miss a school function or any of that.”

William watched as she waved down the Uber, who pulled up to the curb.  He wanted to get into the car with her.  He wanted to go back with her to her building, no matter how short the ride was.  Just to be able to stare at her a little bit longer.  Just to spend more time with her, since he wasn’t able to spend all the time he wanted to spend with her tonight.  “I’m going to miss you,” he said.

He could see her bite her lip.  She looked up at him, her hand already on the handle.  “Will…”

“Aberdeen?  Aberdeen is that you?” a voice rang out suddenly, interrupting the moment.

Aberdeen and William looked to their left.  A man was standing in a stylish peacoat, his group of friends continuing to walk ahead of him at a slower pace.  He had a bewildered look on his face, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  William looked down at Aberdeen.  She looked like she’d just seen a ghost.  “Zane.  Hi.”

“Oh my God.  Didn’t think I’d ever catch you outside the Ritz Carlton,” Zane smiled, approaching closer to them.  “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good,” she gulped, trying to clear her mind of all the memories that were popping up.  She felt William’s hand on her back and it brought her back down to earth.  “William, this is Zane.  Zane, this is William N—”

“Zane Kennedy,” he interrupted her, shaking William’s hand almost too enthusiastically.  “Aberdeen and I dated in university, but we’re friends now.”

Aberdeen wanted to protest.  They weren’t friends.  They were the furthest thing from being friends.  They’d barely spoken since the breakup, since he was such a jackass about it and broke her heart.  She hadn’t been with anyone since – well, besides William.  That’s how much it affected her.  And she was sure William was the only person capable of helping her get over him.

“You don’t say,” Will said, his tone slightly sarcastic.  He looked down at Aberdeen and didn’t see any friendliness in her eyes.  He only saw contempt for the statement Zane just made, which made William know he was lying.  

Zane focused his attention back to Aberdeen.  “What are you doing out here?”

“I…I just came from an event,” she said.  She felt William’s arm snake around her waist even more, making her shiver.

“An event?  With the bank?  Or did you finally figure out what you wanted to do?”

Now she was getting angry.  She always knew what she wanted to do; he just didn’t think being a writer was a serious career choice.  She mustered up all the confidence within her.  “No, not with the bank.  I work for the Toronto Maple Leafs.”

Zane was taken aback at the news.  “The…Toronto Maple Leafs?” he asked.  “Like the hockey team?”

“That’s why she was going to introduce you to William Nylander before you interrupted her,” William piped up, smiling slightly.  

Zane was smart enough to get the hint William was making.  He smiled.  “You know, I thought you looked familiar,” he told William.

“You’ve probably seen me on TV once or twice,” Will quipped.

Zane could tell where this was going.  There was a lot he could have said to Aberdeen, but with William there, he decided against it.  He did have to admit one thing, though.  “Well, you look good Aberdeen,” he said, licking his lips quickly.  

William could feel a rush of irritation and impatience coursing through his veins at Zane’s comment.  “She does, doesn’t she?” he asked rhetorically.  “She looked even better inside without her coat on, but only us lucky ones got to see that,” he said, staring directly into Zane’s eyes.  “Now if you don’t mind, I have to make sure she gets home safe, or else I’ll have to answer to Brendan Shanahan and to Jennifer Spezza, and, well – between you and I – I’m more scared of Jennifer Spezza.”

“That’s cool,” Zane said, backing up.  “Have a good night, Aberdeen.”

William opened the car door behind her as she watched Zane rejoin his friends who had been looking on at the interaction.  She shuffled into the backseat, watching as William waved dramatically at Zane before getting into the backseat beside her.  “It’s a very quick drive, I know.  But I promise I’ll tip you a lot,” she said as the driver signalled to merge onto the road again.

She looked over at William who was still seething slightly at the comments Zane made.  She was realizing a lot of things lately, and here was yet another one: no matter how hard she tried to suppress what was happening between them, she would still have feelings for William, and he would still have feeling for her.  It was inevitable.  Nothing could stop it.  She could say anything, do anything – it didn’t matter.  William was competitive.  William was persistent.  William was determined.   William was…William.  It would be hard, she’d give him that – because absolutely nothing could happen while she was working for Brendan and the Leafs – but she could finally admit to herself, at least, that there was something there.  Something that William absolutely refused to hide.  And in him refusing to hide it, it just made her own feelings bubble slowly towards the surface, like lava oozing out of a volcano.  

But nothing could happen.  Not now, if not ever.  Regardless of how William felt.  Regardless of how she felt.

“You dated that guy?” William asked, his voice breaking her thoughts.

“Yeah.  For most of third year university,” she admitted.

“He’s a bit of a dick.”

She laughed.  If William could ascertain that after a minute long conversation, she could only imagine what opinion he’d have of Zane after an entire conversation.  “You’re telling me.”

“Why’d you guys break up?” William asked.

She gave him a look.  He just had to know.  He just really had to know.  “We outgrew each other.  He also didn’t think writing was a serious career path.  He told me I should consider a Master’s, or go to law school like him,” she explained.  “He was the one who initiated the breakup, saying that he wanted to take the last year of university to, like, be one with himself and figure out if law school was really for him.  But a month after we broke up, he was hooking up and dating this girl we knew, Alessia – a total smokeshow but dumb as a rock.  Anyways, judging by his pretentious jacket, he got into law school.”  She paused, considering the timeline of the events.  “I think it was just three weeks, actually.”

“You deserve better than that,” William said after a moment of silence, digesting her words.  He wanted to stop the Uber so he could run back to Zane and punch him in the face.  He couldn’t believe someone would have the gall to treat her like that.  And then to see her in the street and approach her like an old friend?  How dare he.

“I know I do,” she said as she looked out the window.

William took a few deep breaths as he looked at her, wanting to say so many things but unable to decide exactly what to say.  She still looked so beautiful and he didn’t know how to use his words.  He was so desperate; so desperate to touch her even though he knew she’d flinch away; so desperate to kiss her even though he knew it was wrong.  He didn’t know how he was going to last two whole weeks without seeing her when she’d become such a staple in his life.  He had to physically restrain himself from placing his hand on her arm.  “Can we FaceTime when I’m gone?”

Aberdeen whipped her head to look at him.  From the look on her face it was as if he just proposed they elope in Las Vegas.  “Will, no.”

“Aberdeen, please—please—”

“No way William.  No way.”

“It’s not like you’re going to be at the office when we do—”

“Will, that’s…that’s really inappropriate.”

“Aberdeen—”

“William—”

“Can’t you tell by now I don’t care that it’s inappropriate?” he asked.  His hand had inched towards hers and was merely centimetres away before he had the wherewithal to pull it back dramatically.  Not being able to hold her hand was absolute fucking torture for him and he didn’t know how he was going to survive it.

“Well can’t you tell by now I do care?” she retorted.  “It can’t happen Will.  There’s no way.”

He admitted defeat.  There was no way he would win this, no matter how much he begged.  No matter how much he tried to explain himself.  “I’m just gonna miss you, Aberdeen.  And I’m gonna want to see you.”

“I know you will,” she said.  “But it can’t happen Will.  I’m sorry.”

The Uber driver pulled up to the curb outside Aberdeen’s building, where William had dropped her off at almost the same time last night.  Aberdeen thanked him, getting out of the car.  William slid towards where she had just been and rolled down the window.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” he asked.  They were facing the Bruins tomorrow.  She needed to be there.  

“I’ll be there,” she said, unable to hold her smile.  “Get some sleep, Will.  You’ve gotta score tomorrow.”

“Only for you, minskatt.”

[zabreti]

the time has finally come for me to start expressing what i have been overwhelmingly feeling for the past week, since i started to properly listen to this sunshine of a woman named joanna newsom. i want to- actually, i need to vent a little about the album ys, since it’s the one i first listened to. plus my initial contact with joanna’s work and thoughts that came with it

even though i only found out about her a few months ago, i guess everyone knows her(?); if you don’t, you should. there’s not one single moment in which i’m not mad at myself for not finding her sooner. so fyi, she’s a harpist, pianist, singer and songwriter from nevada. according to some sources, she may be the most famous harpist alive today; i really don’t know about you, but it really sounds quite badass for me.

i started searching for her stuff after watching her husband’s - andy samberg - multiple interviews, where he would be sometimes asked about their marriage. i’ve been binge watching random interviews with people i like for the last weeks, and i found myself actually watching some interviews of hers before i even got to listen to her music.

btw, look at this fucking adorable couple. just look at them for a second.

first of all, what a lovely woman! each answer, each laughter, each little thing she did on camera caused an admiration for the idea of andy and her together to grow strongly; i wasn’t even sure if it was ok for me to feel so strongly about someone else’s relationship. my curiosity grew when i started to read the comments on these videos on youtube, pretty much 100% of them being about her intelligence, her talent and how her music sounds angelical, mystical and perfectly constructed. (let it be said that it only grew more and more as i watched every single interviewer asking both andy and joanna about how different their works are, and how different they appear to be as individuals; not only was suggested that andy would probably not rise up to such an intelligent, serious taste as to fall in love with her (he doesn’t even need to say a word for anyone to realize how passionately in love he is with joanna and her entire work), but also said that no one could believe she was actually able to be a goofy, easy-going, good-humored person because of the lyrics she writes. ok, i could spend hours listing the unnecessary questions i identified in these interviews, and how i get easily annoyed by these famous hosts assuming stuff or trying to create an uncomfortable environment; and don’t even get me started on the fact that most of the interviews she was invited to would revolve around her relationship with andy. i’m choosing to let this feeling pass for now, since it’s not my focus today.)

i couldn’t help but start by saying all this since i truly adore andy’s works, and nothing feels warmer than realizing two amazing people are in love and have a family together by choice.

i mean..... ??????? c’mon. greatest couple alive. try and fight me on this.

another interesting thing i found out was that she dislikes streaming platforms similar to spotify, which probably (?) justifies the fact that i never came across her songs, since i use spotify on a daily basis and have been using it to find new artists for the last years. call me ignorant, it’s fine, truly; but i haven’t heard of similar opinions coming from artists, and it made me even more curious to know what this woman was expressing, creating, thinking. she actually told larry king: 

“spotify is a business model. it’s not good. it’s based on the idea of circumventing the payment of artists. (...) i’m not opposed to streaming. i understand that the world is shifting and that the way music is valued and monetized is shifting, and i’m ok with that. and i’m even ok with people not paying for music (...), i just wish that there was a better way to do it that didn’t only pay a company. (...) i haven’t heard of one [alternative to spotify] that seems built the way that i would prefer it to be built.”

one of spotify owners (owners or directors, idek and idec) even replied to her many critics, but she never changed her mind or retreated from defending even her honest, harsh comments about how spotify is “like a villainous cabal of major labels”. for me, that’s a badass woman. not only for expressing herself without giving a damn about anyone who might be offended in this process, but also for choosing the path that felt ethical and worthy, and being recognized all over the world for her talent while following her own ways. i know, right? simply awesome.

there i was, reading the endless comments on her interviews’ videos and wondering what the fuss was all about. there was nothing left for me to do other than to actually start listening to her songs. i could have done it by looking up her discography and starting from her first project, but somehow i stomped into the ys album, which was released in 2006, in youtube itself.

first of all, would you look at this freaking cover?

i found it absolutely gorgeous in each detail; in fact, i really wish to know if there are meanings in the little specific parts of the painting. maybe there aren’t any and i’m just trying to create a more complex joanna in my mind? sure, sounds like me. or maybe there are lots of ‘em and she already said it on camera and i simply missed this video? sure, sounds possible. i won’t lie, i spent so much time thinking about this cover... maybe way too much time. alright, on we go.

there are 5 tracks on the album: emily, monkey & bear, sawdust and diamonds, only skin and cosmia.

at first, i didn’t quite understand what i was listening to. and i’m not talking about the lyrics, i’m talking about the whole idea of the album, the artist, the genre. the conjunction formed by her high pitches and soft, delicious vocal variations, surrounded lovingly by the harp and the violins was very mysterious to me. at first, i wouldn’t be encouraged to keep listening to her. but something kept me there, seated, staring at the screen and paying attention to each second of it. it was an experience. a real transportation. i searched for the lyrics on genius, and anyone that would pass by my bedroom’s open door would see me completely enamored by what i was listening to, like a concentrated kid being told an epic, adventurous, huge, beautiful and complex story. that is exactly how i felt: in the middle of a field, picturing each image she described in the song; each figure, each feeling. she described it all in a way that made me wonder how can someone describe a dream so vividly, how can someone describe anything so perfectly, so fully, and not sound redundant, not sound at all boring. the way the melody and the lyrics fit together, as a gift perfectly wrapped and tightly involved in the most beautiful way. i repeat: it was an experience. it is an experience. this is not something you can listen to at any given time, at any given place; i would not dare to not pay attention each time i would plan to listen to it. this is how seriously submerged i felt by joanna in that moment; in that entire day.

all of this, all of this immersion, all of this dream-like state in which i found myself in, kept growing its roots in me throughout the entire album, in a way i needed to show someone - anyone - joanna before i even got to finish the five songs; and the first one that came near me happened to be my mother. while listening, she actually found it quite pleasing, “like some old movie’s soundtrack” when listening to emily, “like an 1960′s melody” when listening to sawdust and sand, and on she went about the entire album. and this got me thinking about how i would describe her genre; of course, after following her on bandcamp i found out i was actually listening to some folk/pop/avant-garde/baroque pop/chamber folk/indie stuff. sounds about right, but at the same time not right at all, for some reason. i believe it’s fair to say that joanna has a magical, rare quality to her music that makes it different to each one listening to it. i’ve said it too much and i’ll say it again: it’s an experience, a complete, true one. it ressonates with deep, personal places. and, strangely, it makes many people describe the feeling that urges to grow inside their hearts as “home”; and i share this exact same sensation.

i really don’t know if it makes any sense, but see: i cherish my alone time probably more than anything in the world. i have learned to be my own best friend in many ways, and being by myself in some quiet days, at my house, reading, listening, watching and creating is when i can truly be myself. with that said, listening to this album, i felt at home. it made me feel even more alone, and i mean it in the most loving, warm, hypnotizing way. 

the ys album is a relatively quick production to be heard, even though it feels like you’ve been gone for hours, days, weeks on end while listening to it. the amount of literary, historic and philosofical references in the lyrics is magically overwhelming; i simply wasn’t able to snap out of it for a long time, and i have, to this day, re-listened to the album about 5 times. still reading the lyrics again and again, still grasping at some expressions faintly but amazed, still finding out about hidden and not so hidden meanings behind each track. still defining it, every single day.

i hope for the great discoveries i feel like pursuing from her work, and the diverse new singers, song-writers, harpists, pianists, violinists, chellists and musicists in general i’ll try to find, understand and support from now on. i’m thankful for finding out how much i love the mix between an orchestra-like atmosphere and a sweet, honest voice ringing in my ears; and how the words assembled together feels like a psychography.

i thank the universe every single day for the opportunity to discover people like joanna newsom.