#i love how chiyo thinks of the team as little kids. they are not even on her radar

[lullabyshark]

hi can i talk about shinooka "has a crush on a guy specifically bc he will never ever like her back" chiyo is so real and relatable to me a lesbian who did the exact same thing in high school. and can i talk about "abe will never look at me as a romantic partner" while the panel is him looking at mihashi. this page is too much. gayest page in the manga because its mlm/wlw solidarity multiple colors of the rainbow etc can we talk about chiyo PLEASE!!!!!!!

[sun-summoning]

part ii | part iii | part iv

after speaking to kido, sakura rushes home. when she calms down from the rage that nearly had her crush his throat, sakura can admit that she doesn’t really think this is him. he knew a lot about her for someone that was supposed to have been locked up all this time, but he seemed genuinely surprised to hear that sarada had been taken, if not disappointed. he fit the profile of what shikamaru and kakashi thought -- that someone wanted sarada for her eyes -- but sakura can’t stop the nagging feeling that somehow this runs deeper.

back in her apartment, megumi’s body is right where she left it, and sakura feels awful for having moved so mechanically. megumi was an orphan, but she was still someone’s little girl. ashamed, sakura lays a sheet over her and swears she’ll do more later.

she heads to her bedroom and begins her work. alone, she summons one of the cats she’d made a contract with shortly after her marriage. the black cat is sleek and holds himself confidently. he’s always been an efficient one, quick to do as she needs and be competent about it. he regards sakura with a cock of his head.

“sarada’s been taken.”

“your daughter.”

“yes.” 

the cat nods. “i shall inform the clowder. if anyone spots her, i will let you know.”

“thank you.” sakura pauses, self-conscious for needing to rely on everybody else for this part. “if you...if any of you are able to come into contact with sasuke-kun, can you pease let him know too?”

“of course.”

“thank you.” sakura promises to provide the usual exchange at a later time and the cat disappears with a puff of smoke. she heads to her bedroom and she begins to pack in silence. 

her movements are as meticulous as they are automatic, done just so she’s ready to leave the moment she knows where she needs to go. her medkit is stocked. her bag has scrolls, weapons, supplies, and sarada’s favourite toy. she changes out of her days clothes and into the leggings and turtleneck of a uniform she hasn’t worn in years. her cloak is in the front closet. she needs to change her boots. she’ll put on the boots now. she leaves the armour on her bed to don later. right now, they only hinder her movements. she goes to the drawer where her mask hides in plain sight among other trinkets and knick knacks, and on the dresser she notices a flower.

sakura stills as she takes in the detail she must have missed in her earlier haste. she considers the simple glass vase and the single red flower sitting in it. its petals curl at the ends and some are even missing. 

this flower has travelled and as sakura considers what it is, she knows it’s travelled far. 

-

konoha became unbearable by the time she tuned twenty. it's so petty and selfish and she'd never say it aloud, but she hated seeing everyone else so happy. she's happy too -- has so many reasons to be -- but she couldn’t help the nagging jealousy she feels when ino declined her invitations because she was going to see sai or when naruto prioritized her almost always only to head home to hinata.

she wanted to be someone's too. she wanted to be their focus and heart and home, but sakura already knew who her someone was and knew that on some level she was his too, so all she needs to do right now is wait.

most of the time, sakura wasn’t bitter. being apart from him wasn't unfamiliar, nor the steadfastness, nor the hope that one day this will pay off one day, nor the self reminders that what she felt was irrelevant as long as sasuke knew and was comforted by the fact that she would always love him.

to suppress her frustrations rather than confront them, sakura worked. she worked tirelessly and relentlessly and by nineteen, they'd named her the greatest medical ninja konoha has ever seen for her accomplishments, ideas, and innovations.

this took her to suna at twenty and to ame at twenty-one to help establish their own clinics.

“i have a gift for you,” ino told her before she left. 

sakura expected a ribbon or a piece of jewellery or that new book on poisons she mentioned she was interested in. instead, ino handed her a bag. its contents shift, imbalanced, and inside sakura finds a potted plant. 

“a flower?”

“not just any flower, you ungrateful bitch.” ino pointed at her accusingly and then at the plant. its petals are a bright red with darker flecks at their base. “i made it.”

“you made it?”

“yes. you know me, interrogating and mind-reading by day, splicing plants together and making my own by night.”

“that’s sad.”

“fuck you. you’re sad.”

sakura laughed and ino laughed too but it got a bit sad because ino probably definitely knew that sakura was sad. “anyway,” ino continued, “we’ll call it the sakuino flower--”

“how creative.”

“--and i expect you to keep it alive through all of your travels.”

sakura frowned at ino, wondering if ino understood that a potted plant had no place in her travels, but ino didn’t seem to care. moreover, this particular thing didn’t seem to have the ability to survive in the desert climate she was going to be living in for the next six months. 

when sakura expressed as much, ino waved the matter off. “deal with it,” she said, giving sakura one last hug. “you’re one of the brightest minds to come out of this village. you’ll figure something out.”

-

its common name is the fire poppy, having originated from the fire country but somehow managing to survive in the deserts of wind country as well. the flower is know for its vibrant red petals, eye-catching and jarring across the barren brown it’s normally found in. sakura had to play with the original plant’s physiology when she first moved to ensure it could survive the alternate climate. in her spare time, when she wasn’t working with the kids, she deigned to work with her plant, eventually working on cloning the original. at some point she’d given one to a nurse she worked with who much admired the first, and gaara asked if he could try planting them in his garden. from there, the spores began to spread.

“why the fire poppy?”

was this someone from suna?

sakura considers the obvious motivation of revenge, but who would even want that? there were people who didn’t appreciate her friendship with kankuro or any of his siblings. perhaps an apprentice of chiyo’s who blamed sakura for not saving her when she gave her life for gaara’s. worse, perhaps someone that once worked sasori who resented her for his demise. or maybe someone she, sadly, can’t even remember. a patient she lost during the war whose family hated her.

sakura truly cannot pinpoint a motivation for this, much less a person. 

especially a person that would understand the meaning of this flower for her. 

ino would never give her this flower. ino would have scoffed at it and created her own. sarada couldn’t have picked it today. and sasuke certainly couldn’t have left it for her.

someone was in her apartment. someone brought it here. 

was it here before?

sakura considers the poppy and forces herself to keep calm. stay logical, she demands. stay smart. was the poppy there before? no, she thinks at first. she would have seen it. she’s certain she would have seen it.

but, she can accept, it’s possible she might have missed it. sarada was taken. her babysitter was murdered. it wouldn’t be surprising if sakura missed it. but sakura doesn’t miss things. right?

“don’t gaslight yourself,” she orders. 

no, she knows. the flower was not there before, meaning in between her going to kakashi, going to the prison, and then running back home, whoever took her daughter came back.

or worse, there was a team involved and one was with her child and another came back for her. 

sakura curses, wishing she’d put on her black ops armour earlier, because whoever brought the flower here is now making their presence known. she senses two people before she sees them and is unsurprised to find sudden flares of strength.

the bedroom is small and they’re in a building. she needs to take this outside, but where? there’s too much risk for others getting hurt in the crossfire. that’s why this was supposed to stay quiet. that’s why this will stay quiet.

they step out of the shadows and sakura assesses them quickly. one male, one female, both fairly young based on stature and development, maybe early twenties at the oldest. they’ll have agility on her, but they won’t have her experience. 

the man holds a chokuto. good. an advantage. sakura is excellent at fighting against such a weapon. if they’re foolish enough to use her husband’s favourite sort of blade, perhaps they didn’t do enough research on her. perhaps they were hired? but if they were unprepared, then were they really here to kill her? 

are they here to distract her?

that thought fills sakura with dread. is someone trying to keep her busy so she can’t get to sarada on time?

the woman shifts, one leg sliding to the side as she raises her hands. she holds no weapons, therefore she is the weapon. sakura knows all about that. she’ll need to be careful with this one. but she still has a holster on her thigh. it’s thinner that the usual styles. maybe a couple kunai, but more likely a set of sebon. this one is smart then. she’ll know precisely where she needs to hit sakura to stop her.

“haruno sakura,” the man greets with a short nod.

so it is her fault.

if this was about sasuke, about the uchiha, they would know her married name. this is about her, and for that sakura feels worse. her baby was taken and why? just to hurt sakura before killing her? sarada was who knows where with surely no one that could be good and all just to hurt sakura?

sakura snarls, furious in a way only a mother could be, and she feels the chakra pulsing around her fists.

“where is my daughter?”

their masks hide any expressions. they remain at ease in the face of her rage, shockingly unafraid of this woman that can level mountains. 

good, sakura thinks. let them be brave. let them come at her like fools. 

she runs through the bedroom door to get to the living room where there’s at least more space to maneuver. the man leaps and brings his blade down upon her, but sakura manages to shift to the side. careful to not be forced into a corner, she spins out of his range and into the open middle until the woman runs past her partner and takes sakura on hand-to-hand.

she matches sakura’s punches and kicks blow for blow. she’s good, sakura thinks nervously. and she’s fast. she’s small, maybe half a head shorter than sakura, so she puts her weight behind every quick jab. sakura gives most of her attention to the woman, but keeps a wary on eye on the man who sheathes his chokuto.

what as he planning?

it takes that one moment for the woman to catch her unaware. 

sakura chokes on her breath as the woman thrusts a senbon into her shoulder. the shock from that slows her down enough so she can lodge in a second.

“shit,” sakura curses as she stumbles back. she rips the senbon out, but she feels her left arm begin to go numb from the struck pressure point. “what did you do--”

sakura’s eyes widen she she feels something foreign begin to course through her. she considers the senbon, dark with her blood and likely something else. there’s a metallic smell that isn’t from the weapon, and sakura knows she’s been poisoned.

however, her body doesn’t bother to fight it. 

sakura watches her opponents, trying to understand how she’s been poisoned with something she’s immune to and just what poison this might be. she’s immune to everything in konoha’s own collection, as well as the ones she shares with shizune.

which poison is this?

does that matter?

sakura scowls at the two people involved in her daughter’s kidnapping and reminds herself that she can take them on one-handed just fine. she pulls her right hand into a fist and charges. the man is closest, so she lunges at him with a chakra-laden punch that sends him barreling into the wall. 

she grabs the front of his shirt and as she pulls him forward, his mask falls away to reveal green eyes, cold and lifeless, and a black diamond under his left eye that makes her uneasy.

sakura stares at the man, confused, because she knows this face.

she knows him.

her fear and pain and worry makes it hard to focus, but knows him. 

focus.

finally, it clicks. 

“isao?”

she thinks she might have seen something like recognition in his eyes. that doesn’t long though. she left herself open, and his partner stabs her shoulder. sakura releases isao with a cry before the woman punches her in the back of the head and everything goes dark.

-

the sun is up when sakura begins to stir. she hears the birds chirping and people outside going about their days. but the buzz of the television is missing, as are the small thuds of sarada’s steps. where is sarada? sakura wonders hazily, lazily, not quite understanding yet.

where is sarada?

her eyes widen and she sits up so quickly her stomach rolls.

“careful.” tsunade comes into view, steadying sakura and checking her for any problems. “you’re still healing.”

she’s in her own bed. she’s not at the hospital. she got knocked out and the assassins got away. she should’ve done something to track them. dammit. was she so arrogant she didn’t have a failsafe in place for if she didn’t simply beat them? sakura punches the bed, earning a disapproving frown from shizune on her other side.

“there was poison in your system.” 

“it was one of ours,” sakura admits warily. 

“yes. there are very few people with access to those, much less this particular one.”

the one that the assassin used was meant to render a victim paralyzed but still able to feel. it was a dreadful thing, meant only for the worst of interrogations. or, more accurately, for torture. sakura concocted it in her darkest moments at fourteen under shizune’s watchful eye. since then, while they’ve both had small handfuls of keen students, they’ve probably shared poisons from their personal roster with only five people at most.

for this particular poison, sakura knows only two people they showed it to, and only one of those was a student of sakura’s.

“how did you find me?”

tsunade rolls her eyes. “shizune sent you off to a prison from kakashi’s office. i figured i’d have to check on you shortly after. and it’s a good thing i did, stupid girl.”

“thank you.”

“don’t thank me. i’m scolding on you.”

“did they find anything useful?”

“no one’s been able to contact your husband.”

“right.”

“and they’re still under the impression that this has to do with the uchiha blood.” 

“they would be,” sakura mutters, too tired and in too good company to be anything but blunt.

shizune sighs. “do you know who came after you last night?” the flower is still where she left it on the dresser. shizune follows her gaze to the fire poppy, and all knowing with plants as well, shizune determines its origins. “how did that get here?”

“i think it was to taunt me.” sakura grimaces. “you were right.”

“about?”

“i think this is my fault.”

shizune’s eyes widen and quickly soften with sympathy. “none of this your fault,” she reminds sakura. 

tsunade crosses her arms. “enemies of yours then?”

“no.” sakura looks sad. “people i once loved.”

-

tbc

[sasoriapologist]

I'll bite. Tell me about your s/i!

OKAY SO THIS TOOK ME A FEW DAYS TO ANSWER SORRY FJGKGMF it’s bc i started writing a full entire story right here but it was just too much to unpack all at once so the general tldr rundown is her name is Mae and she was from a little craftsman/merchant village outside of Sunagakure and her family moved there when she was somewhere between 6-8 (havent decided for sure yet) bc they were never shinobi but wanted her to have the opportunity to be one if she wanted.

She’s always been an art kid with an artsy family but her interests in it are so varied and her home life was kinda chaotic that it was hard for her to sit down and just master one thing. She didn’t function very well in a school environment and i’m on the fence about whether or not I want her to not actually be a registered ninja but sent on missions anyways bc they need as many young vital bodies who have useful skills as possible or having passed but barely and at a very average age. I’m also not positive about her jutsu? I fucking suck at coming up with jutsu. I’m thinking a ninjutsu and having something to do either with some sort of cat familiar thing (kinda like w Kiba and Akamaru, I want her to have a little pet cat bc i have a little kitty who i love so dearly) or something kinda tarot card themed. I’ve also been stuck on the idea of a seamstress theme and she adds to some sort of something w that by learning some chakra thread technique from Sasori.

Speaking of him! Since I don’t think she’s graduating the academy at 8 or something like him, they meet through something regarding their families being into Art Stuff. Mae’s mom is very social and I can picture her striking up a conversation with Chiyo and offering to maybe have her and Mae make garments for their puppets if needed. And Chiyo being like “sure” and seeing that Mae is abt the same age as Sasori and being like “thank god finally i can get my grandson socialized”- Mae even as a child has always been pretty mellow and quiet and kind, if not a little bit sensitive sometimes and also not very good at socializing w other kids AT ALL kinda like he is. I could see them probably sitting in silence together a lot as kids while her mom and Chiyo talk and like, drawing or something and eventually getting comfortable enough to talk about common ground without being too intimidated by the other. As they get older they still hang out a lot when they can because it’s comfortable and they’re coming more into their own and it’s just nice. their relationship builds very slowly over time but it’s stronger than uhh. guys give me something strong to compare it to i’m brain dead rn. anyways

She’s got some traumas and issues and an ongoing struggling relationship with her mother specifically (her dad is actually really nice just emotionally unavailable, they have a much better and less turbulent relationship than Mae and her mother). She also has a little sister and a lot of extended family! I’m also again, still on the fence about her exact role in the village. I’ve also HEAVILY considered her being more someone who handles a lot of work behind the scenes and sometimes going on missions when absolutely needed. Her family struggles financially so she does what she can prolly? And I’m probably not going to make this her actual story but the idea of her, Sasori and Komushi being on a team together is very cute to me and is in my AU box for her. idk there’s a lot fjgjfkf that’s long and it’s not even getting into her struggle to find her art and why her relationship w her mom is Bad and her personality and inner conflicts and MAN I AM . JUST PIECING IT ALL TOGETHER HERE. personality tldr is mellow but passionate, kind, patient, creative, thoughtful, quiet but Knows Things, intuitive, kinda sensitive and sometimes moody and over time builds an ongoing rage bc of village corruption and how ppl treat her and the roles she’s been forced to be in and 😺 yeah. she headbutts her kitty ears on sasori sometimes :)

[evartandadam]

Hello! I’ve read some of your analysis on the akatsuki and i really love how in depth you go into their characters! It really makes me appreciate them more! So that’s why I wanted to ask (sorry if you answered something like this already) but who out of the akatsuki do you think is the most mentally unstable/stable and who is more mentally guarded and who isn’t?

What a great question! I will take mental stability to mean lack of turbulence and a ground on reality.

Mentally Unstable:

1) Obito

Obito is definitely the most mentally unstable. It is never made clear what Obito’s issues actually are- How much of him was Madara and Tobi, and how much was himself?

Tobi is never really addressed much, but I assume it’s a result of the White Zetsu in his body. Tobi is a very goofy personality, and if Obito was even partially in control of himself during this time, he has a disorder.

Practically mult-personality disorder, except he remembers everything he does as both Madara and Tobi. So it’s more like he gets wayyyy too invested in pretending to be what’s he’s not. I mean, the personality shifts are crazy.

I really wish more was explained with Obito’s mental state, because it was very interesting and not much was done :/ But there is definitely something wrong. Obito has some serious issues with accepting reality, and doesn’t cope with trauma AT ALL. Therefore, I think he is the most mentally unstable.

Also, Obito really didn’t have the emotional capacity to be a ninja in war (especially at that age). A perfect contrast to Kakashi, who is great at handling trauma and moving past it, Obito simply could not handle trauma this well. This is fine- it’s doesn’t make him wrong or a bad person. It’s like when Might Guy tried to join the Anbu to be there for Kakashi- it didn’t suit him at all. And Gai is awesome! But some jobs go against a person’s sensibilities, and I don’t think Obito had the mental and emotional constitution to deal with war trauma. This is shown in how Kakashi and Obito deal with Rin’s death. Kakashi holds steady with his core beliefs, but Obito totally loses it. This is because they are different, and have different reactions. Anyway, my point is that Obito was less suited to being in a war as a kid than Kakashi, but he was put into this situation anyway, and it really screwed him up. Like, really bad. I don’t think I need to really make my case here, I think everyone can agree Obito is a little… excessive.

2) Sasori

This guy replaced people with puppets to give him the love he desires. He takes people apart and makes them into puppets. Classic sociopath, but extra screwed up because of the added puppet aspect. Sasori can come across as very normal in conversation, due to his intellect, but he is living a lie. Obsessed with death and collecting people… We can all agree he is messed up. And I have written a lot on him! Here and here are some rants!

3) Nagato

Nagato can be tied with Sasori. Nagato has a full on god complex. He completely goes berserk after Yahiko’s death. You can basically pin point the second he snaps. Nagato uses his best friend’s corpse to walk and talk in, and… that’s not something a stable person would do. It is likely a strange way of “honoring” him, keeping him involved in their plans. But he is not considerate of Konan, who has to watch her lover’s corpse move around everyday, animated by her best friend.

Nagato believes he is better than everyone else- he knows best. And he has no problem mowing through innocents right and left to obtain his goals. He is an extreme person, and takes things way too far, much like Obito. He is a narcissist- and is therefore manipulated by Obito with ease. This dude is seriously unhinged.

4) Hidan

Hidan is mentally unstable but doesn’t think he is. To be what he is, he has to be a little off. People who join cults are vulnerable and looking for a place to belong- Hidan was this type of person. Hidan values strength over all else, and blindly accepted whatever this cult had to offer him. So he’s not the most mentally stable person. But he is very sure in himself, and is not turbulent in any sense. He has a very consistent, stable persona. So he’s not nearly as unstable as Obito. And he isn’t in denial about death, so he doesn’t live in rationalization like Sasori.

Stable:

Itachi, Kisame, and Konan are pretty mentally stable. They are consistent in the way they think and know how the world works. Deidara has bursts of crazy ideas, but part of that could be contributed to his age. Deidara still blends in with “normal” people (watch Naruto SD and see how cute he is with Team Gai). Kakuzu is also pretty stable, other than his anger issues. All of these characters would fit into a semi-normal category. You by how they interact with others. They are capable of reading others, and responding accordingly. (Sasori can interact with others well if he makes an effort but it doesn’t come naturally to him. Same with Hidan, who oversteps boundaries). 

Emotionally Guarded:

As for who is the most emotionally guarded, that would be Konan, Itachi, Sasori and Kakuzu. (in no particular order)

1) Konan

Konan is all about obliterating her emotions and protecting herself from others. Konan lives with guilt from a traumatic past, and to cope, she makes sure no one else gets in. It would take A LOT to make Konan trust another. She is very careful, and suspicious of other people. She views herself as a tool for Nagato, and is willing to do anything for him. But she is not like this at all with others. Nagato is familiar, and they share the same burdens. She also feels guilty for Yahiko’s death. Essentially, Konan is filled with regret, and has no interest in allowing more harm to come to her emotionally. She is a great example of an emotionally guarded person.

2) Itachi

Itachi is living a lie, and pretending to be everything he hates. In order to even begin to deal with the emotional toll of this, he would have to essentially disconnect himself from others. Itachi doesn’t want other people to get to know him or understand him, in fear that they will find out too much. He also lives with tremendous guilt, and “preserves” himself just so Sasuke can kill him someday. He lives his everyday life not actually living- in his mind, he is already dead, and awaiting the moment his destiny is made real. Itachi is the most emotionally guarded out of all of them, since it is a conscious effort. Itachi is emotionally guarded both unconsciously and consciously. Trying to get him to open up his feelings to another person is like trying to talk to a brick wall.

3) Sasori

Sasori claims he has no emotions, but that is very untrue. Sasori admits to Sakura and Chiyo that he failed- he is neither dead nor alive, and he is an incomplete puppet. He’s referring to his inability to completely eradicate his humanity. But he only admits this at the end. Sasori is extremely stubborn, and his entire life philosophy is centered around a fallacy- that he doesn’t need others, and he can live forever. Sasori seeks to fix the emptiness he feels, and thinks the solution is to get rid of emotions completely and become a higher being. After all, emotions have never done him any good. So Sasori is very deluded, and it’s a delusion he crafted around himself, one brick at a time. He is extremely emotionally guarded, even against himself.

4) Kakuzu

I would say Kakuzu is also emotionally guarded from living a long, harsh life, and would like to avoid caring for others as much as possible. Kakuzu was burned by the people he cared for most- his village. And they betrayed his trust. After this is probably when he became cynical about humanity and relied on something material and emotionless- money. I remember replying to an ask on how Kakuzu would fall in love, and I said Kakuzu would be very tricky to catch feelings. He takes his job seriously and caring for others isn’t on his priority list. He probably did this to protect himself and decades later, it’s just natural to him to block others out.

Most Unguarded:

All of the Akatsuki are emotionally guarded, in a way. But Kisame seems to still enjoy talking to others and cares for people He is very loyal and thoughtful. Deidara, despite his philosophy that nothing lasts forever (including happiness with others), always seeks out comradeship and is willing to talk about himself. Hidan is an open book. Like wow. He would probably tell you anything just to have someone to talk to. (Hidan can still be guarded on some topics if he doesn’t trust you, but I think to a normal degree.) Nagato is more open with himself than Konan is, since he was willing to talk to Naruto about his problems. Tobi/Obito is not as open as Nagato, but does love to talk when it’s appropriate. He isn’t too guarded with his feelings- he’s just tactful with them.

[pagsys-writings]

Time Flies Chapter 29: Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing

There’s always something cathartic about coming home after a long day at the field. Maybe it’s knowing a good night’s rest is just waiting for him upstairs or maybe it’s being greeted at the front door by his favorite people. Because that’s something Nori has come to expect these days. It’s either almost being knocked over by his overzealous daughter the moment he enters the threshold, or he’s greeted with a kiss by the man he loves more than he ever thought possible.

As he opens the door to their home, Nori can feel the stress of the day falling away. He stops thinking of all the mistakes he made earlier in the day. He stops berating himself. He even stops himself from making a mental list of ways to improve because once he’s home, he’s home. There’s only one thing important under this roof and she has the brightest smile and the squishiest cheeks.

His bag drops to the floor and he toes off his shoes. He turns and waits, almost opening his arms wide in preparation for the onslaught, but nothing happens. Perhaps Nori’s been getting ahead of himself or maybe he’s just been spoiled up to this point. “Hello?” He calls out, standing still to make as little noise as possible. “I’m home!” The only sound he hears comes from the television in the other room.

Nori finds them and smiles. The television is replaying one of Kazuya’s recent games, and his notes are spread out on the floor in front of it. Yet the man in question is fast asleep on the couch, glasses crooked and falling off his face. Pressed against his side is a bundle of blanket where Nori can just make out some of Chiyo’s hair and her eyes and forehead. Kazuya’s arm is carefully wrapped around the young girl, keeping her from the edge.

The sight warms his heart. Without making a sound, Nori fishes out his phone and takes a quick picture of the two. He’ll make it his background later. “Kazuya,” he whispers as he kneels beside the couch. The man stirs and manages to open an eye and turn in Nori’s direction. The latter holds a finger to his lips as he picks up Chiyo.

As he carries her to her room, Nori wonders - not for the first time - when she had managed to get so big so soon. She’s still easy to lift, but she’s grown so, so much. He has to use both his arms to support her instead of just one. They’ve had to go buy new clothes and shoes because she’s already outgrown the others.

And as he places her gently into the bed, he finds himself thinking that he’s missing so much of her life. She’s loved by so many people that would give her the world, but he’s missed things because of what he does. Like her school play last year when she was given a solo part to sing or her first homerun. Kazuya swears it counts even if the ball never went over the fence and she only made it home because of all the errors. (Kazuya had spent hours arguing with Mei over it. Nori had thought it was ridiculous.)

Nori’s seen all the videos his friends and family have sent him when he had away games, but it just wasn’t the same as being there in person to celebrate those moments. He runs a hand through her hair and her nose scrunches up just a bit - a sign she’s waking up. Her eyes blink open and she has trouble focusing them, but she grins when she sees who’s in front of her. “You’re home…” She says, grin spreading a little more.

“Yeah, Cupcake,” Nori whispers, brushing the hair out of her face. He leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Go back to sleep.” She doesn’t even fight him on it like she used to when she was younger. She simply closes her eyes and pulls the blankets closer to herself.

Nori turns out the lights and returns to the other room where he finds Kazuya rubbing at his eyes and trying his best not to yawn. “Long day?” Nori asks, teasing grin on his face. He knows more than anyone how tiring his daughter can be.

Kazuya lets out a laugh as he glances at the time. “I should be asking you that,” Kazuya raises an eyebrow, noticing just how late it really is. He pats the couch beside him and Nori wastes no time curling into Kazuya’s side, relishing in the warmth and comfort the other always provides without even knowing or trying. “Tough game?”

Nori hums and he wraps his arms around Kazuya’s waist carefully. He always comes home later after tough games due to spending too much time in the locker room thinking over things from the game. But this time there was more than just thinking about the game. “I’ve been thinking,” he says but he’s unsure of where to begin.

“About?” Kazuya asks and Nori is thankful the other didn’t say some sarcastic joke that he was so good at producing. It gives him hope that Kazuya was actually taking the statement seriously.

“The future.” Kazuya hums at the answer, but waits for Nori to continue. “You know, Chiyo will be starting third grade next year and she’s almost nine.” Silence. “And then before you know it, she’ll be a teenager and probably hate me because all teens go through that phase.”

“Nori,” Kazuya cuts in before he can go off on a tangent, “what’s going on?”

Nori looks at Kazuya and he sees so much. So much love and support. He sees the past and how far they’ve come as a family. He sees all the possibilities of their future together. He sees a man that loves him and his daughter - a man that would do anything for either of them.

And he’s not afraid that Kazuya would judge him. “I’m missing so much of her life, Kazuya.” There’s a fear that Chiyo will suddenly stop needing him. What if she stops looking up to him? “How am I supposed to support her when I’m never here?”

Kazuya rubs a soothing hand on his back - up and down, repeatedly. It grounds him. “You are here. Whenever you can. And when you can’t, I’m here. And if I can’t, it’s Kuramochi or Shirasu or Haruichi. Someone will always be there for her.”

He doesn’t doubt that. Not at all. He knows her uncles would go above and beyond for her and him subsequently. “I know that,” he whispers, trying to convince himself. Yet he can’t shake the fear that’s suddenly holding him.

“Then what’s really going on?” Kazuya asks, voice low but supportive.

“I want to stop.” His voice is low as well and his eyes widen when he realizes that he spoke the words aloud. He’d been thinking about it on and off but he’s never said them out loud. And now that he’s said it, he feels the truth of it all. There’s a sense of relief. He looks at Kazuya, and if the other is surprised, he’s doing a good job of hiding it. “I’m gonna retire at the end of the season. My contract is coming to an end.”

There’s a flash of sadness in Kazuya’s eyes when he smiles. He pulls Nori close and presses a kiss to his temple. It’s so caring that Nori melts against him. “I’m sorry,” Nori mumbles, pressing his face to Kazuya’s shoulder.

He feels Kazuya shake in silent laughter. “About what?” He sounds amused but Nori can’t bring himself to look up right now.

“I know you were looking forward to being on the same team at some point.” He remembers how excited Kazuya had been at the prospect when they were talking about his contract ending. “Think of all the possibilities!” Is what Kazuya had said on multiple occasions. “Sorry,” he mumbles again.

Kazuya hums. His thumb rubs circles on Nori’s shoulder where he’s holding him. “You’re doing what you think is best for Chiyo. I could never be upset about that. Maybe a little disappointed but never upset.” There’s a pause and Nori both feels and hears Kazuya chuckle. “And that just means you’ll be able to come to all of my home games.”

Nori smiles at that and finally looks up. “I think I’d like that and I know Chiyo would as well. She’d be your number one fan.”

“She already is.” They smile at each other for a moment before Kazuya frowns. “So when are you gonna break it to her that her number one pitcher is retiring when the season is over?” Nori groans, making Kazuya laugh.

“Soon,” he says with a smile, “I need to prepare myself for the waterworks.”

Kazuya shakes Nori’s shoulders a bit. “Once you tell her you’ll be around more, she will be the happiest kid I know.”

“Yeah.” Nori leans up and presses a quick kiss to Kazuya’s lips, making the latter beam. It never stops being amusing to see just how happy Kazuya becomes with the smallest actions. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” And Nori smiles knowing that it’s the absolute truth.

[brella]

i feel like we always ask you about books so today i wanna ask you some anime recs :)

HOW INTERESTING THAT YOU SHOULD COME TO ME NOW, JUST AFTER I FINISHED ATTEMPTING TO BRIBE A TWITTER MUTUAL WITH A PHYSICAL CAKE SO THAT SHE WOULD WATCH AN ANIME I LOVE. i am always happy to share anime recs. 

ping pong: the animation (dir. masaaki yuasa): effusive yutaka “peco” hoshino and reserved makoto “smile” tsukimoto have been best friends since day one, and both of them love to play ping pong. peco, a child prodigy at the sport, loves it with all of his soul, and is so confident in his own talent that he’s become arrogant; while smile, in spite of his natural talent, does not take ping pong seriously, seeing it as nothing more than a way to pass the time. things are shaken up for the boys by the arrival of wenge “china” kong, a chinese player sent to redeem himself in japan after being kicked off the national team, who skunks peco in their first match, sending him spiraling into crisis; meanwhile, smile catches the interest of the school’s coach, a former star player, who is determined to make sure smile does not waste his talent. also joining the cast are manabu “akuma” sakuma, peco’s belligerent rival since childhood, and ryuichi “dragon” kazama, vanguard of the elite ping pong team at kaio academy. when all is said and done, will smile and peco’s friendship—and the love of ping pong that bonds them—remain? i urge everyone to watch this anime; it is perhaps the best i’ve ever seen. a work of art, of joy, of sadness and failure and triumph—a tribute to being alive, and to what it means to love something so much you feel like there’s no point in being alive if you can’t do it. and the animation, voice acting, and score are outstanding! 11 episodes.

the tatami galaxy (dir. masaaki yuasa): an unnamed college student is perpetually dissatisfied with his life, bemoaning the fact that he can never seem to grasp that “rose-colored campus life” he was certain he would have upon attending college in kyoto. just about the only thing he has in his corner is his mischievous frenemy, ozu, who drags him into scheme after scheme that only seem to make his situation worse; and a fellow student, akashi, who the protagonist has feelings for, but can never quite seem to spit it out. after a bad break-up sends him over the edge into total cynicism, he starts to wonder if his college years would have been spent differently (i.e., better) if he had chosen to join a different club on his first day. unbeknownst to him, the desire to go back and do it over again does send him back in time—each episode is an alternate timeline based on which club he joined. no matter how things change, though, he always seems to keep running into ozu, to just miss akashi, and to get involved with a man calling himself higuchi, who claims to be a god of matrimony; a bone-headed popular senior named jougasaki; and a beautiful but intense dental hygienist named hanuki. in the protagonist’s quest for the perfect college life, however, will he miss what’s right in front of him? i really love yuasa as you can probably tell and this, just like ping pong, is beautifully animated, great fun, and unexpectedly moving. a testament to the little things, to seeing the beauty and wonder in what we have. and the opening and ending are GOD TIER. 11 episodes.

gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun (dir. mitsue yamazaki): if you somehow haven’t watched this yet, please love yourself and do it. a romantic comedy series that follows 16-year-old chiyo sakura’s attempts to woo her crush, umetarou nozaki, gsnk, contrary to the shoujo form, actually begins with her confessing to him—but he misunderstands and gives her... his autograph?! yes, it turns out nozaki moonlights as a hugely successful shoujo romance mangaka, and he’s been needing an assistant, and sakura is in the art club... convenient! this show has it all—uproarious humor, masterful comedic timing, incredibly charming characters, and just the right dose of heartfelt romance to warm any heart. other cast members include mikoto mikoshiba, nozaki’s best friend, whose flirtatious antics constantly cause him to nearly die of embarrassment; yuzuki seo, chiyo’s best friend, a brash and oblivious jock with a beautiful singing voice; hirotaka wakamatsu, a mild-mannered basketball player constantly aggrieved by seo’s bullying; yuu kashima, star of the drama club and dashing prince of the school; and masayuki hori, drama club president and kashima’s ever-frustrated director. love is in the air not just for sakura, but for a few others, as well—it’s going to be an interesting year! 12 episodes.

kids on the slope (dir. shinchiro watanabe): kaoru nishimi is a shy and depressed honor student, classically trained to play the piano, who has spent his entire life moving from town to town due to the nature of his father’s job. at the beginning of the summer of 1966, he is sent to a small coastal town in kyushu to live with relatives, and is prepared for another year of loneliness until his world is turned on its axis when he meets delinquent sentaro kawabuchi. the two develop a strange and unlikely friendship, and kaoru soon discovers that sentaro, or sen, is an avid fan of jazz, then an emergent form of music in japan, and plays the drums in the basement of a record store owned by the family of his childhood friend, ritsuko mukae, with whom kaoru immediately falls in love. when ritsuko says that she would love to hear kaoru and sen play together, kaoru begins to acquaint himself with jazz, too, and finds that it holds more magic than he expected. part classic coming-of-age drama, part love letter to the jazz genre, this series was, fun fact, directed by the man behind cowboy bebop and samurai champloo—so, like, if that isn’t a testament to its quality, i don’t know what is. it will make you cry, though. just warning you. 

silver spoon (dir. tomohiko ito): desperate to escape the pressures of his home life, beleaguered honor student yuugo hachiken foresakes his chances of attending an elite tokyo high school and applies to ezonoo agricultural school in hokkaido. at first holding himself a rung above his peers, due to his perception of them as bumpkins who have never had to work hard academically due to their security as farmers, hachiken quickly learns that there’s a lot he doesn’t know, and he’ll have to work hard if he wants to keep up with his peers. though initially withdrawn, hachiken comes to make many new friends, and soon begins to take his studies seriously, earnestly trying to learn all he can about the world of agriculture and how it affects the lives of his friends. this series is easily something i’d call “the feel-good story of the decade,” but it also has many profound and emotional moments, and a hugely relatable protagonist in hachiken. it’s definitely a comedy, but at its heart, it’s one of those special series that kind of takes your hand and smiles at you and says, “yeah. i get it. i know how you feel. but it’s all right. life’s pretty fun, even if you don’t notice.”

hyouka (dir. yasehiro takemoto): to this day i’m still a bit stunned that kyoto animation managed to come out with something as good as hyouka, since it’s so different from their other works, but the truth is there. it’s simple, with a cast of only four characters and few recurring side ones; a subdued score using mostly public domain classical pieces, a quiet high school as the backdrop, a close and intimate portrait of the four kids it brings together. the PV actually does a fine job of introducing the characters—apathetic houtarou, inquisitive eru, cheerful satoshi, and caustic mayaka—so i won’t go into that too much. essentially, houtarou is urged by his sister to sign up for the classics club after no one else does, since it will be disbanded if it does not have at least one member. much to his surprise, someone else already has signed up by the time he does—a curious girl named eru with an insatiable appetite for mysteries. though houtarou lives by a philosophy of what he calls “energy conservation,” eru has a power over him (read: he has a big, beautiful crush on her) that compels him to go along with her antics, and his penetrating intellect doesn’t help much. satoshi, houtarou’s best friend, and mayaka, a childhood... acquaintance of houtarou’s, also join the club, and hyouka chronicles all of the things that happen to them over the course of their school year. when asked about the meaning behind the title (”hyouka” means “frozen dessert”), the author of the novels said, “the colour of youth is like ice cream. its many flavours are like the spectrum of a rainbow, but no matter how it tastes, what doesn’t change is its richness and flavour. another distinguishing feature of ice cream is the short time one has to eat it, and how we must take care to avoid polluting it. it’s just like how youth is full of numerous possibilities, but its fragile and limited energy is easily challenged by the outside world.” i think that probably speaks for itself in alluding to the bittersweet tone of the series. it really is one of my favorites.

and, because my fingers are getting tired: yu yu hakusho is my favorite shounen series by a mile and one of the few for which i highly recommend the dub—it’s long though, 100+ episodes, but worth every minute. i’ll be glad to go into why yyh specifically is the best in a separate post if anyone is interested bc hoo boy. uchouten kazoku season 1 is great and one of my favorites but season 2 was kind of eh to me. if you like action and tragic romance, kyoukai no kanata is my second-fave kyoani series after hyouka, though it does have some fanservicey bits and fetishy humor that kind of date it a little bit. and if you haven’t started boku no hero academia yet—PLEASE GET ON THAT; IT’S SO MUCH FUN! 

and, of course, the anime of my heart and soul: lovely complex, a romcom about a tall girl and a short boy, and their arduous, hilarious, heart-melting journey from vitriolic best buds to lovers. hits all the right notes. no other shoujo compares. it’s a series that anyone and everyone can AND WILL enjoy. 

i hope that’s enough to get you started! :’D pls let me know what you think if you watch any 

[desi-pluto]

Naruto Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @shannaro-kamo <3 I tag @madara-fate (I really want to know yours Audric!) @shiningscarletmoon @sharinghoe @sharingan-uchiha @aiuchihashadow @porno-4-saku @behindheremeraldeyes @bibi-loves-books @veenia @konoha-hq @stefanies

Favorite

Female Character(s): Sakura Haruno/Uchiha, Hinata Hyuga, Sarada Uchiha

Male Character(s): Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Kakashi Hatake

Team: 7

Sensei: Kakashi 

Hokage: Minato 

Kage: Gaara

Village: Konohagakure or Kirigakure 

Akatsuki: Itachi and Konan

Jutsu: Susanoo, Fireball Jutsu, Kirin, Chidori, Chidori Nagashi, Amaterasu, Kamui, Tsukuyomi, Byakugou, Twin Lion Fists, 64 Palms

Episode/Chapters: Ones that revolved around Team 7, Sakura, Sasuke, and the Uchiha Clan

Fight Scene: Team 7 vs Haku and Zabuza, Naruto vs Sasuke (as Genin), Sakura vs Ino, Hinata vs Neji, Naruto vs Neji, Sakura and Chiyo vs Sasori, Sasuke vs Deidara, Sasuke vs Itachi, Itachi and Sasuke vs Kabuto, Team 7 and Obito vs Kaguya, Naruto vs Sasuke (Final Battle), Madara vs 5 Kage, Naruto and Tsunade vs Kabuto

Fanfiction: I don’t read a lot, but the ones I do read have to be one of  a kind like An Inch of Gold  by @kuriquinn or A Twist in Time by @wolf08 and anything written by SH23 -mainly the canonverse ones that keep Sasuke in character.

Story Arc: War Arc

Filler: When we see Kakashi’s face for real!

What is you...

OTP (explain why): SasuSaku - the love is the real deal man, it’s selfless, it’s accepting, it’s forgiving, it’s strong. It’s true Sasuke didn’t romantically love her in in the beginning but he always considered her as someone very dear to him, he always encouraged her to be a better ninja, lifted her spirits up when she was down for the chunin exams, and thanked her for loving him. Sakura did have a puppy love type of crush on him, but it evolved into her just loving him as an individual rather than a romantic partner, all she wanted was for him to not feel lonely again; she did fill his lonely existance, loving Sasuke made her the the strongest Kunoichi ever! It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful.

NOTP (be nice): SasuKarin - Karin’s favorite thing to do was biting Sasuke, she didn’t stop him from going further to the darkness, he feels uncomfortable around her when she comes close to him, unlike Sakura, Karin enjoyed watching Sasuke kill, while Sakura practically stopped him from the one (Zaku) who beat her up badly. Kishi himself said that Karin’s “love” for him was dangerous.

Crackship(s): Shisui Uchiha x Hana Inuzuka (Idk why, they’d look good together), KakaMei (Both are hopeless romantics xD), Sasori x Shizune

BROTP: SasuNaru and NaruSaku 

OT3: SasuNaruSaku

Crossover Ship: Hmm...none in my mind

Miscellaneous...

Do you have any headcanons: A 3 year old Sarada playing with Papasuke’s hair making Mamakura’s heart melt. Sasuke playing with Sakura’s hair when she’s fast asleep. Sasuke pretending to be a sleep when Sakura whispers sweet things to him. Sasuke being proud of his daughter wanting to become Hokage. Uncle Kakashi showing his face to a little Sarada. 

Are you happy with the ending? What would you have done differently? Definitely happy with the ending! I wouldn’t give Sarada glasses. I wouldn’t make Hinata retire from being a ninja. I also would’ve evolved Inner Sakura too, Sakura use her water and earth style ninjutsu, have her learn more genjutsu from Kurenai, and make certain Ino takes her father’s job. Have Sasuke be Naruto’s best man in The Last.

How do you feel about the new generation? I love Sarada, I just hope the new manga treats her well and that Boruto doesn’t always beg for Sasuke’s attention! I also adore Chouchou! But I still think Boruto is  a sweetie. TBH I think all the new kids are adorable. 

Say something about your favorite character. Good and bad. I’m glad that Sakura was able to see the good in Sasuke and wanting to help him even when he was in deep hatred. I wish Sakura didn’t end her friendship with Ino just because she didn’t want to be seen as Ino’s shadow. 

What would a child between your OTP look like? How would they behave as parents? Sarada is perfect! She may look like Sasuke over all but she has Sakura’s forehead and eye shape. To me she’s the perfect combination of both of them. Sasuke and Sakura being doting parents in general xD

Say something genuinely nice about your NoTP. I’m glad Karin was able to let go, and still deliver Sarada; that’s good character.

Say something negative about your OTP. I wish Sakura would act more cool around Sasuke when she was a genin. Just that really. 

Is there anyway you could be convinced to ship your NoTP? What would make you change your mind about the pairing? NOTHING!

What makes you mad about the series? The dumb fandom.

If you could see anything happen in the series, what would it be? Sasuke and Sakura’s travels, wedding, and Sarada’s birth.

What would you say to Kishimoto if given the chance?  If Sasuke will get his arm back. Why he didn’t sue SP; and I’d thank him for the wonderful story :)

[puckish-saint]

can i request hanzo, mccree and gabe whose s/o died in a mission that went terribly awry and having to come home and tell their kid that their mama/papa wont be going home? its ok if u do this another time since angst day is over for now ;;u;

Warning: Discussed/referenced character death

Hanzo

He’s been standing in front of thedoor to the children’s bedroom for minutes, staring at the brightyellow sunflowers. A few paper petals are coming loose. He’s beenmeaning to fix them for ages. After the next mission, he always said,after the next and the next. He’s never gotten around to it and nowhe watches as one petal yields under its own weight and flutters tothe floor. He watches it fall, mind empty when before it was racing.How does he explain that you won’t be coming home when he himselfcan barely grasp it?

One moment you were there, the nextthere was only comm static. A whole life of possibilities, wiped outin an instant. He curls his fist around the dog tags in his pocket,Overwatch issued, but engraved with his name and that of your twochildren on the back.

How does he find the courage to knockon that door and tell them what he doesn’t want to accept?

For better or worse the decision istaken from him. The door opens and his eldest stands in front of him,two empty glasses in her hand.

“Papa?” she asks, flails as if shewants to hug him but doesn’t know what to do with the glasses. “Wethought you would be away until tomorrow. Chiyo! Put that game asideand come here!”

Hanzo hears scrambling, some annoyedmix of Japanese and English that stops abruptly when his youngestdaughter appears in front of him, pushing her sister aside andhugging him at waist height without regard for formality. He trieshis best to return the hug, pats her on the head and wishes it wasyou instead of him standing here. You would know what to say, younever had a problem hugging your own children as he does, still acting like his own distant father when he doesn’t mean to.

“What’s wrong?”

He can’t look them in the eye, turnsaway and digs his fingers into the dog tags, as if you would comeback the moment he broke the cursed things in half.

“Asahi. Chiyo. I need to talk toyou.” he says and he knows that Chiyo fears she’s in trouble andthat Asahi’s silence means she has worked it out already.

“No.” she says, begs him to tellher she’s wrong, that him standing here alone doesn’t meananything, that they really are just in trouble over some small prankthey pulled while their parents were gone.

“Our work is dangerous.” he says.“There’s always a risk, I-”“Papa, no. This isn’thappening.”“We told you there might come a day when one orboth of us -”“Can’t you even look me in the eye?”“You’reold enough to understand-”“I’m not even sixteen. Papa,please look at me and tell me this isn’t happening.”“Theteam and I did everything in our power, there was nothing-”“Lookat me!”Chiyo flinches, eyes wide and fearful as her usuallyso calm sister screams at her father. She looks between them and whenthe tension won’t dissipate, when Hanzo stares at his daughter likeshe slapped him and Asahi breathes hard to control her anger, shestarts to cry.

They both are torn out of their ownshock, Hanzo falls to his knees to pull Chiyo into his arms and Asahifollows, curls up at her father’s side like she hasn’t done inyears and cries and cries more when she feels her father’sshoulders shake. She’s never seen him cry before and that’s whenit hits home, that you really are gone and that Hanzo’s distantlove is all they have left.

McCree

He remembers the day his Pa died as hewatches his own son play in the yard with Ana and Fareeha, who don’tyet know what happened.

He would have been no older than Caseyis now, barely twelve and acting older, missing his parents when theyare gone but not following their every move anymore when they’reback. That’s what gives him a little time to think and the thinkinghe does leads him straight back to that day the police officerknocked at their door.

His Ma had been washing the dishes, byhand because she didn’t trust omnic help and the dishwasher hadbroken down again. Jesse hears the gurgling of water like he’snever left that kitchen, like he’s still sitting on the worn rug,doing his homework for what he’s fairly sure was the last time inhis life.

Then the doorbell, his mother askinghim to answer it. Back in those days they didn’t yet have to fearthe bailiff so Jesse went and answered the door and found a policeofficer standing in front of him, her hat under her arm. He remembersher face fell when she saw him and that he thought it was because shethought he was ugliest kid she’d ever seen.

The police officer had asked if hismother was home and so Jesse went back to the kitchen and got hismother, telling her the police wanted to talk to her. Heremembers, clear as day, the way her smile turned to stone. She senthim to his room but didn’t check to see if he would go and so Jessesat on the top of the stairs and hear the police officer say “I’msorry, ma’am, I’m afraid your husband has been involved in anaccident. He died en route to the hospital.”

She said a lot more, but that’s allJesse remembers. I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid. Thosewords have haunted his nightmares going on a quarter decade now.Sometimes he’s the ma’am, sometimes he’s the thing that followsafter ‘I’m afraid’. When he first killed for Deadlock, hebecame the police officer and he was the one saying ‘I’m sorry,ma’am, I’m afraid’.

Those aren’t the words he ever wantedhis son to hear. I’m sorry, Casey, I’m afraid. Just thethought turns his stomach inside out. But there’s no choice, noalternative. However he phrases it, in the end it will all come downto the same thing.

He carries his hat under his arm as hewalks into the inner yard of Gibraltar base, formerly several squarefeet of unused grass and dirt, now a passable football field andplayground. Casey spots him when he’s only a few feet away, shoutsat him to wait because he has to get another goal against Fareeha.Jesse waits, with his hat under his arm, and those words on histongue.

I’m sorry, I wish I could havedone something. I wish it had been me.

Casey, your parents love you butthey had to do their job and now only one came home to you.

I’m afraid. I barely know howto be a dad, I don’t know how I’m going to raise you by myself.

His son jogs up to him, sweat makinghis curly hair cling to his forehead.

“Did you bring me anything?” heasks with the comfortable selfishness that only children can have.Jesse shakes his head, tries his hand at a reassuring smile.

“Casey, there’s somethin’ I gottatell you.” he says and watches once again a smile turn to stone. Hecan count the number of times he used his son’s full name in aconversation with him on one hand. He prays that it won’t becomehis I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid. He prays for a lot ofthings, mostly for you to come home after all, to swoop out of somehidden corner and spare him what he’s about to do.

While Angela approaches Fareeha and Anato tell them the news, Jesse sits down in the grass waits until hisson has settled down next to him and tells him that he just lost halfof his family.

You died a hero, he says, and that yousaved a lot of folks doing it. He tells Casey, who’s trying to puton a brave face, that it’s okay to cry. And his son retorts that ifit’s okay then why isn’t he, Jesse, crying, and it’s like youspoke through your son at this very moment, so Jesse does the onlysensible thing and cries. Cries like his Ma cried when the policeofficer left, cries like he did on the flight back home, criesbecause as long as he cries his son will know it’s alright togrieve.

Gabriel Reyes

“I don’t need any fucking medicalcare.”

On any other day shoving a gun intoJack’s face would have gotten him court-martialed. Today Jack backsoff and apologises. He lets him go, orders the medical team to takecare of the other injured and not to bother Gabriel.

He’s walking through the base withoutfeeling the steps he takes. Past the med wing, through the offices,into the elevator. He paces up and down the three feet because if hestops, he’ll break.

The elevator comes to a halt, secondhighest floor, the senior officers apartments. He wipes his thumbclean on his uniform, leans forward for the retina scan. Theapartment lies in darkness and utter, unfamiliar silence. You wouldhave turned on the music the moment the door opened, a softbackground noise to a late-night coffee before bed. He tries to dothe same, but it feels wrong, the sound tinny, a mockery of thewarmth it used to bring. He turns it off again, finds his way throughthe dark living room and into the hallway. The light in the bathroomis on but it’s empty. Gabriel isn’t surprised. The day he’llcome home to all the lights shut off, he’ll know his daughter tohave grown out of her fear of monsters. She’ll have grown up and hefears that day almost as much as he feared this one.

Her bedroom door is ajar, letting injust a little bit light from the bathroom. Enough to illuminate herbed, the blanket on the floor, the pillow at her feet. A stuffedanimal serves as a makeshift replacement and he spends severalminutes trying to figure out in the twilight if it’s Prince Jessethe dog or General Ana the many times repaired hawk.

Your daughter wasn’t the one to comeup with the names. It was you and Gabriel who, during supposedparent-child bonding time got a little too into making up stories forall the plushies. Eventually you looked up to find several hours hadpassed and the child who was supposed to play with Prince Jesse andGeneral Ana had taken off with a book instead.

She shifts in her sleep, pulls Gabrielout of the memory as he watches her slowly wake.

“Papi?” she asks and turns on thelight on her bedside table. He blinks against the sudden light and sodoes she. Then her whole face lights up and she holds up her arms inan unspoken bid to be picked up. Gabriel follows the order dutifullyas if nothing was out of the ordinary and picks up his little girl,hugs her tight and asks what she’s been doing since he was gone.

As they lie down in bed, Gabriel havingto twist and turn a bit until he fits, she tells hims about the funshe got up to with Jesse, who babysat for most of the time, and thathe let her have coke instead of lemonade one time but she’ssupposed to keep it secret.

In turn he listens, pets her hair anddoesn’t say a word about you.

He knows he has to, that he can’tkeep this a secret, but no matter how much he pushes himself, hecan’t get the words out. Not when his daughter is falling asleep inhis arms, curled into his hoodie and still talking. She’s notmaking sense anymore, and eventually she has drifted off completely,assuming that you are working late and will be there when she wakesup in the morning.

He turns off the light, covers themboth with the blanket and thinks, for a few moments, that you reallyare just held up with work. In an hour or two he might wake to youcoming home, tip-toeing into your daughter’s room, knowing this iswhere you will find him, asleep with one leg out of the bed and therest slowly but surely following as your daughter demands every inchof space available.

But the spell breaks, reality returnsand Gabriel knows that tomorrow he will have to tell his littleprincess that you’re not at work but dead. Killed in the line ofduty, to save hundreds of children the pain your daughter will haveto suffer.

He swallows, covers his mouth so hewon’t wake her with his pitiful sobs.

[pagsys-writings]

Time Flies Chapter 26

Nori watched his daughter out of curiosity but also concern. She seemed fine. She was sitting on the couch beside Kazuya, who was going over different baseball strategies that Nori had no doubt was lost on the poor girl, but he found it cute anyway. What bothered him was that Halloween wasn’t too far away and she hadn’t brought up any ideas for costumes, which was very much out of the ordinary for her.

“Hey, Chiyo?” He called over to her from the kitchen table. She gave him a questioning look, eyes blinking wide and owlish. Nori wondered if she was trying to think of something she did wrong. “Was there anything you wanted to be for Halloween?” He asked and he saw her face relax. He hoped she actually hadn’t done something to warrant her getting into trouble. Maybe he should check around the house for anything out of place.

“No,” she said simply, turning to look back at the game on the screen.

Even Kazuya was a little surprised at the admission of the little girl. She always had ideas every Halloween, and usually it was multiple ideas that included matching costumes for both himself and Kazuya. “Are you sure?” He heard Kazuya ask her, but she just nodded - eyes glued to the screen.

“Don’t you want to go trick or treating with your friends?” Nori frowned, wondering if something happened at school. “You always go with Jirou,” he said, despite the frown on Kazuya’s face at the boy’s name that clearly wanted nothing to do with the other’s father.

“No,” she said again, and it was really bothering Nori now.

Kazuya seemed completely pleased with the idea of not running into Mei for once on Halloween. Nori couldn’t blame him. Kazuya was always the center of Mei’s taunts and it didn’t help that Chiyo’s costume ideas always gave the other plenty of ammo. “That’s okay,” Kazuya said, grinning brightly. “You don’t have to hang out with Jirou to have a good time on Halloween.”

The look Chiyo gave Kazuya was priceless and Nori wished he’d been able to capture the moment. She looked confused yet offended at what Kazuya had said, and the way Kazuya froze under her gaze was comical.

“I never said I didn’t want to hang out with Jirou,” she said with so much sass that Nori was forced to cover his laugh with a cough. Though the small glare he received from Kazuya told him he hadn’t been as convincing as he’d hoped. "I just said I didn't want to go trick or treating."

“Then what do you want?” Nori asked her curiously.

She turned to him with a bright smile on her face. “Jirou said he’s going pumpkin picking and that he’s carving it with his mom!” She said everything animatedly and Nori could practically see the shine in her eyes. “I wanna go too!”

“Will his dad be there?” Kazuya asked, mustering up a cheerful expression for the girl.

Nori watched her pout in thought. “I don’t think so…” Chiyo frowned. “Jirou didn’t mention him…”

“Perfect!” Kazuya grinned, his body relaxing with the news of a Mei-less outing. “We can go.”

Rolling his eyes at how childish Kazuya could be at the mention of the blond, Nori just shook his head. “I’ll call Naomi.” Chiyo cheered happily in her seat as Nori pulled out his phone to call Jirou’s mom.

They arrived at a small farm the following weekend to meet Jirou and his mother. Chiyo was practically vibrating with all the excitement she was holding in, and Nori prayed she wouldn’t do anything rash on the trip. As soon as her eyes found Jirou, she was off running - even Nori calling out to her couldn’t slow her pace. She launched herself at Jirou, and they went tumbling to the ground, both erupting into fits of laughter.

“Why did her best friend have to be Mei’s kid?” Kazuya grumbled under his breath.

Nori nudged him with his elbow. “It’s cute,” he commented, seeing how happy the kids were. “Sorry about that,” Nori apologized to Naomi, who was watching the two sitting on the ground. “Chiyo, what did I say about tackling people?” He asked, waiting for the answer he had drilled into her.

“It’s only okay when it’s with Uncle Mochi,” she recited, looking a little embarrassed. “Sorry…”

Naomi smiled down at her. “It’s okay, Chiyo,” the woman said, bringing the smile back to Chiyo’s face. “Just be a little more careful, okay? We don’t want the two of you getting hurt.”

Jirou stood and pulled Chiyo to her feet. “Let’s go look at the pumpkins!” He grinned, pulling her down the rows with their parents following behind to make sure they didn’t get into any trouble.

“Where did they even hear about pumpkin carving?” Kazuya finally asked. It was also a question Nori had as well.

“Apparently,” Naomi began with a small laugh, “their teacher mentioned it to them and showed them pictures. I’ve never seen Jirou this excited about anything other than baseball.”

“Chiyo’s the same way,” Kazuya said, grinning as well.

“So where’s Mei today?” Nori asked curiously, and gave Kazuya another nudge when he noticed the other pouting. He gave him a warning look to behave.

They watched as the two kids ran from row to row in hopes of finding the largest pumpkins. “He had to check in with his team, but I think he’s secretly happy about not being here. He did not seem too keen on carving pumpkins…” There was a small smirk on her face as she recalled the conversation with Mei. “Though I’ve never carved a pumpkin myself, so I have no idea what to do really. I’ll just make sure they don’t hurt themselves,” she said as she watched Chiyo struggle to pick up a pumpkin that was half her size.

“Chiyo?” Nori asked, and she looked at him with a smile. “Why don’t we find one that’s easier to carry.” The little girl grinned, nodded, and ran off with Jirou once again. “So how are we going to do this if none of us have ever done this before?” He asked curiously.

“Just let them do it on their own?” Kazuya said with a shrug. “They’ll figure it out.”

Nori just stared at him. “Do you really want to let Chiyo alone with a knife?”

They watched the girl trip over flat ground. “Good point,” Kazuya nodded with a loving smile on his face at how adorable she was.

“I can supervise them?” Naomi offered. “We don’t all have to be with them, and I can drop her off after they’re done?”

Nori turned to look at Kazuya and they both smiled. “Deal,” Nori said. It had been too long since the two of them were able to relax or spend time to themselves. It was a much needed break.

After convincing Chiyo to buy a normal sized pumpkin that she could actually carry, Nori and Kazuya let her go with Jirou and Naomi. The two returned home, but any and all plans that either of them were expecting with the house to themselves ended with just relaxing on the couch without a care in the world.

“You hear that?” Nori asked, draping his body over Kazuya’s.

Kazuya lifted his head to look down with a frown. “Hear what?”

“Exactly,” Nori grinned, eyes closing. “Silence. It’s so quiet… so nice.”

Laughing, Kazuya kissed the top of Nori’s head. “Ah… at least you can say there’s never a dull moment with Chiyo around.”

Nori held onto Kazuya tightly. “Yes, but it’s exhausting. You never know what she’s going to get into.”

“I blame Youichi.” Nori lifted his head and stared at Kazuya. “What?”

“It’s your fault too,” he grumbled before he pressed himself closer. “You instigate her just as much.”

Nori felt Kazuya’s laughter and smiled. “Guilty.”

And yet… as soon as their downtime began, it seemed to end just as quickly. They heard the door open, and Nori groaned. “Dad! Uncle Miyu!” Chiyo’s voice echoed through the once peaceful house. They heard her running through the house to come skidding to a halt moments later in front of them. “Look what I made!”

She held up the pumpkin, and sure enough it was carved into… something. “Looks great,” Nori smiled more at her enthusiasm and excitement than the work she’d done. Whatever it was... it was unrecognizable.

“What… is it…?” Kazuya asked, and Nori could hear the utter confusion he tried to mask.

“It’s you, Uncle Miyu!” If she grinned anymore, her face would split in half. Kazuya just stared at the pumpkin in shock as Nori pressed his face into the other’s chest to stifle his laughter.

“Oh?” Kazuya smiled as he stared at something that was most definitely not him. “It looks great!”

“I know,” Chiyo said, completely oblivious to the forced happiness coming from her uncle. “Jirou’s dad said it looked exactly like you! I’m gonna put it in the kitchen.” And she was off again.

It was silent for a few seconds. Nori wasn’t sure what to do. He was doing everything he could to keep himself from laughing. “Mei is a dead man,” Kazuya finally uttered and Nori lost it. He laughed so hard he started crying.