#i love him(platonic) so much but i wanna wait for his official release

[rubrumacai]

SUNDAY LEAKS BEGONE FROM MY DASHBOARD

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots 

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.) 

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC) 

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u! 

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or  will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it? 

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game! 

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-) 

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh? 

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language) 

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting? 

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u- 

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs? 

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

&

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon? 

&

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be! 

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥ 

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo? 

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[mintyminyoongi]

Idiots

Pairing: Min Yoongi x ReaderRating: T

Word Count: 7.8k

Trigger warnings: None 

Summary: Imagine you love Yoongi and Yoongi loves you but you’re both idiots and can’t say it. Or better yet, read about it.

Normally, when your phone starts ringing at 2:00 AM, you would curse the living daylights out of the person on the other end of the line. Maybe ask them if they were raised by barbarians or looking to get fully throttled. 

But when you finish grumbling curses under your breath and crack an eye open to look at your screen, you can’t help the way your heart flops over a little. Yoongi. You swipe your thumb across the screen to answer before it goes to voicemail. 

“You better be dead or dying,” you groan into the receiver. 

You hear him curse under his breath and some fumbling around. “I, um, am not dying. Coincidentally. I forgot to check the time again.” 

His low, drawling voice sends a shiver down your spine, as always. “Yeah, you did.” You find yourself chuckling, despite your initial anger. 

“Sorry,” he mutters. “You were sleeping?” 

You laugh fully this time. “Yeah Yoongi, I was sleeping. Like most people do at two in the morning on a Wednesday.”

“Ugh, sorry Y/N.” He sighs into the phone. 

You frown and roll in your sheets, sitting up fully. “Hey, you okay? It’s  been a while since you’ve spaced on time like this.” 

About three years ago, you met Yoongi. You’d just graduated from university and had been able to get an internship at a tech start up in Seoul. It was shit pay and crazy hours but you loved the work. 

You had met Yoongi in a cafe, late one night. Officially, you were off the clock but you had taken your laptop with you to try and catch up on some of your assignments. The cafe was close to your apartment, open late and had cheap, strong coffee. 

Yoongi had been set up at one of the far tables, feline eyes droopy despite the numerous coffee cups littering his table. He had a fancy set of headphones on and his bleached blonde hair had dark roots growing in. 

The cafe was busy, even during this time of night so you took one of the last empty tables near him. You tried to get work done, honestly. But between your sleep deprivation, over caffeination and this gorgeous boy sitting a table away, it was difficult. 

So he naturally caught you staring at him. And your best way to save face was to point dumbly at your own ear. His brow furrowed but he pushed one headphone off his ear anyway. 

“Sorry, just... I could hear your music through the headphones. It’s a little distracting.” It wasn’t, you could barely hear it over the other cafe noises. “Also, it’s bad for your hearing. To play music that loud.”

You wanted to disappear. Like wholly, from this plane of existence and any others that were out there. 

But he just looks at you with an amused, crooked smile. 

You didn’t know at the time that Yoongi was a successful rapper. He went by the name Agust D, and had just gotten back from his first tour after the release of his mixtape. 

And the formation of your friendship went just like that. He needed a friend that didn’t care about his fame or his reputation. And you just needed a friend. 

So what if you thought he was incredibly hot and talented and funny… Yoongi had never shown you any interest, romantically. And that was fine with you. His friendship meant the world to you. 

Anyway, Yoongi wasn’t the best at taking care of himself. So when he calls you in the middle of the night, it’s almost always because he’s been locked in his studio all day and has lost all sense of time. 

He sighs, not answering you right away. “I’m okay. Just- stuck on a song.”

You furrow your brow. “When did you eat last?” 

A beat of silence. “Um.”

“Yoongi.” You bite your tongue to hold back the full lecture. “How about sleep?”

An even longer pause. “I took a nap this afternoon,” he says. “Or wait. What day is it?” 

“Alright, that’s enough. Go home. Take a shower, sleep in an actual bed. You’re not doing yourself any favors running on fumes.” 

“I know.” 

“Nope, not buying it. I wanna hear you leave the studio.” 

“Woman,” he sighs under his breath. “Fine.”

You can hear him shutting down the programs on his computer, almost feeling the way he’s making mental notes of where to pick up in the morning. 

“So, which song is giving you trouble?” 

Yoongi starts to describe the track, how he wants a syncopated rhythm but it’s not hitting right. He muses all the way during his walk home about different things he can try.

You curl back up into bed, just listening to him and giving what little insight you could. It kind of pained you to admit how much just the sound of his voice affected you. 

Before long, you hear his front chime open. “Okay, I’m home.” You hope you were imagining just how exhausted he was. Even though you know you weren’t. 

“Good. Please take care of yourself, Yoongi. You’re starting to give me gray hairs.”

Yoongi just huffs into the phone. “Thank you, Y/N. I am sorry for waking you up. Tomorrow’s your big presentation right?” 

“It’s okay,” you say. “Yeah, it's at nine. So like,” you wince as you look at your screen. “Six hours.” 

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath. “I really am sorry.”

“It’s fine, Yoongi. Honestly. I’m used to running on no energy and all coffee.”

You could tell he didn’t feel better with that answer. “We're still on for movie night on Friday?” 

“Yes please. I’ve been killing myself trying to avoid spoiler alerts.” 

“Okay, great. I’ll bring snacks to make it up to you.” 

You thought about protesting but knew it would be pointless. “That sounds like a fabulous idea. Now go get some sleep! And when you eat in the morning, it needs to be something that doesn’t come out of a plastic package, you hear me?”

“Aish, woman, let me live,” he gripes but you know him well enough that you can practically picture the smile on his face. “See you Friday. Good luck with the presentation, you’re gonna kill it.” 

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You hang up and have to force yourself back to sleep, always getting a bit of a high from talking to him. 

On Friday night, you were running around your apartment like a mad woman, trying to get it clean before Yoongi shows up. Even though he was terrible with the concept of time, he was never late to your movie nights. 

You had stayed late at work talking to your boss about your presentation from the day before. So when Yoongi showed up at your door right on time you were still in your work clothes, hair a mess. 

“Hi, come in. What the-” Your eyes practically bulge out of your head when you see how many bags he’s carrying. 

“I said I would bring snacks,” he says sheepishly, cheeks tinted a dusty pink. 

“Yoongi, this is like a whole store.”

He sets the bags down on your kitchen counter. “I felt bad about waking you up.”

You shove his arm, eyes widening further as he starts unbagging everything. “I told you it was fine, you dope! This is way too much food.” 

Just as he opens his mouth your doorbell rings. Yoongi looks at you guiltily, a bag of your favorite chips in his hand. 

“I may have also ordered pizza from that place you like.” 

You wanted to smack him and kiss him in the same instant. That pizza was the perfect way to end a long, stressful week. “Well, you answer the door. I’m going to change clothes.”

In your room, you quickly change into sweats and a t-shirt. You fix your hair into a normal, less insane ponytail and make your way back into the kitchen. 

You find Yoongi staring at you as you drop your hands from your hair. “What?” 

He coughs, looking down. “Nothing. The food’s all ready.”

You frown a little but leave it. Then you see the three pizza boxes sitting on the counter. “Min Yoongi you did not order three pizzas and buy all these snacks.” 

He squawks a little, unable to form words for a second. “Will you just take my apology already?” 

Your heart seizes a little at his sincerity and you try not to read into it. “Fine. Apology accepted.” You cross your way into the kitchen, grabbing some plates out of the cabinet. 

“How did your presentation go, by the way?” 

“Oh my god it went great, Yoongi! My boss loved the idea of an integrated software, and he gave me the lead on it.” You turn to see him watching you attentively, a proud smile on his face. 

“And this is the first time you’ve been the lead, right?” 

“Yeah, at least one of this size. It’s gonna be a lot of work but I’m really excited.” 

Once again, Yoongi gives you this unreadable look. His gaze makes you feel squirmy so you hand him a plate. “Well I’m proud of you, Y/N. You’ve really made a name for yourself at that company.” 

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You cracked open the first pizza box and could’ve started drooling. “Oh my god, this smells amazing.”

When you’re thoroughly surrounded on the couch with more pizza, snacks and wine than any two people could need, you start the movie.

You and Yoongi had started making movie nights a habit about a year ago. Every month you both find time to make it work. It was kind of your favorite thing but you wouldn’t tell him that. 

You really were trying to reign in your feelings for him. It didn’t seem fair, when Yoongi was only looking for platonic companionship. So you keep respectable inches between the two of you as you queued up the movie. 

Yoongi gave you a judgy look at the moan you let out around your first bite of pizza but a swift elbow to the ribs made him look away. 

The movie was pretty good, it was a slasher movie that came out earlier in the year. You watched with your mouth hung open in disbelief as the killer rose from the dead for the third time and snuck up on the lead actress. 

“Oh, come on, they can’t be serious.” You lean forward on the couch cushion, thoroughly enveloped in the plotline. As the killer brandishes a kitchen knife and raises it above his head, your reflex is to smack Yoongi in the arm. 

“Why doesn’t she just turn around?” you demand. “The house is like 800 years old the floorboards are creaking louder than your snoring.” 

You can feel Yoongi look at you in offense. “First you hit me then you insult me?” 

The girl on the screen eventually turns around and a chase ensues. You turn to Yoongi. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you. I just get so wound up at these movies.” 

“Oh, but you meant to insult me?” He says, an eyebrow raised. 

Damn, he looks good sprawled out on your couch. The thought comes unbidden. You bring yourself back to the present, to the sound of screaming and shrill horror music in the background. The present with Yoongi sitting on your couch. 

“Yeah, I mean have you heard your snoring?” 

“When have you heard me snore?” he demands.

You turn to face him on the couch, the movie forgotten for the moment. “Like three months ago, when you showed up at my door, completely wasted. You stumbled around my apartment for twenty minutes and then you passed out on the couch. You snored. All night.” 

Yoongi looks at you with his mouth hung open, speechless. He shakes his head, seeming to snap out of it. “I completely forgot about that night.”

“Yeah, it was after some event at your label. You showed up smelling like cheap perfume and whiskey, barely able to stand up straight. I gave Namjoon an earful the next day for letting you get that drunk.” 

Yoongi scoffs, suddenly finding the hole in the knee of his jeans very interesting. “He didn’t let me do anything. I can be pretty stubborn when it comes to that stuff.” 

You nod, not understanding where the uneasy mood came from. “That’s pretty much what he told me. He said that you showed up to the event pissed off, that you were an asshole the whole night and he couldn’t keep you in check.” 

“Yeah I wasn’t myself that night.” 

He still wouldn’t look at you.

 “I remember,” you say. “I’d never seen you that far gone before. Namjoon said he hadn’t either.” 

Yoongi stays silent. For long enough that you started to turn back to the TV screen, not wanting to push him. 

Truthfully, that night had kind of scared you. He had been almost incoherent when you let him in. Yoongi was a fan of a good whiskey but he usually didn’t get that drunk, let alone wasted like that. You hadn’t known what to do so you kind of just stood back as Yoongi mumbled to himself, shucking his jacket and boots before falling onto the couch and passing out. 

He says something under his breath and even though you were right next to him you didn’t catch it. You wince as a bloodcurdling scream comes from the TV screen. He doesn’t even seem to notice it. 

“What did you say?” You ask him, scooting a little closer. 

Again, he stays quiet. At which point you’re starting to get annoyed, so you let out a huff and flop back against the couch cushion.

“You had a date that night.” 

You stare uncomprehendingly at the gory scene on the TV before looking at him. “What?” 

He had turned his gaze to you, but not in your eyes. He’s looking somewhere around your shoulder, you think. 

Yoongi runs his tongue over his teeth before answering you. “That night, you had a date with some guy from your office.”

You think back, remember that you’d had a date with Minho. He was in the advertising department of your company. He had a really cute smile and loved cats so you thought you’d give him a chance. 

You thought if you just actively started dating that you would get over your stupid crush on Yoongi faster. 

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. 

Even though Minho was attractive, and he had really funny stories you only found yourself thinking about Yoongi all night. The date had ended when he walked you to your door, and kissed your cheek. You told him it had been a nice night but you didn’t think you saw him as more than a friend. Things had been awkward around the office for a few days but he took it graciously and you two are friends now. 

Yoongi had shown up not long after you’d gotten back. You were still in your dress, heels kicked off by the door. You remember now, he had given you a once over and scoffed before stepping past you into the apartment. Before you’d gone on the date, you’d told Yoongi about it. You thought maybe if he hyped you up it would help you be more excited for it. 

Instead, he just said “have fun” and didn’t speak to you for the rest of the night. Until he showed up at your door, so drunk he couldn’t stand straight. 

He never asked about the date, you didn’t think he even remembered it. He certainly didn’t seem like he cared about it at the time. 

Belatedly, you realize the end credits are rolling on the screen. 

And Yoongi is staring at you. Not at your shoulder or somewhere in the vicinity. Right at you. 

“Yoongi…” You say, because you didn’t know what else to say.

He gulps down the rest of his wine and turns to face you fully. “I-I didn’t have the right to be jealous but I was. Of him. So I went to that stupid fundraising event and focused on the free drinks and the easy women. And ended up here anyway.” 

You swallowed thickly, trying not to overthink what he was saying. “You were jealous?” The words are strained as you say them. Your hands curled into fists because the bite of your nails in your palms helps to ground you. 

Yoongi leans in a little, sucks in a quick breath. He opens his mouth to speak just as the movie kicks back to the main menu, the title music blaring through the speakers. 

You jump reflexively. You didn’t realize how close you’d gotten to him, your face barely a few inches from his. So close you can see his pupils dilate, can smell the sweet red wine on his breath. 

And just like that, Yoongi seems to snap out of something. He stands from the couch and picks up your dirty plates and wine glasses. He’s already in the kitchen, loading the dishes in the washer when you feel yourself snap back into reality.

What the hell was that?

You were pretty sure you weren’t misreading things. He was jealous that you were dating other people. Well, had dated other people. Honestly you were tired of the whole song and dance. You hadn’t been on a date since Minho. When the right guy came along, you would try again. But you hadn’t found anyone that could hold a candle to Yoongi. And you didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. 

But… why was Yoongi jealous? He was famous, had tons of beautiful idols and models and actresses he could pick from. Maybe he was just jealous of having a normal dating life. 

Either way when you shuffle into the kitchen with the bowls of snacks, you couldn’t ignore the tension in Yoongi’s shoulders. The dishes were all loaded but he stood at the sink, clutching the edge of the counter. 

“Yoongi.” This was new for you. You’d never felt uncertain around him before. Maybe shy, when you caught yourself thinking about his adorable smile or strong hands. But never uncertain. 

He cleared his throat and turned abruptly. “I forgot I have an early morning tomorrow. I should get going.” 

You frown, not wanting to leave things in this weird state. You follow him to the door where he’s pulling on his coat. “Yoongi,” you try again. 

He falters, head hanging low. 

“Will you just tell me what’s bothering you?” You finally demand. 

Yoongi turns swiftly, pulling you close to him by your waist. He leans his forehead against yours and you suck in a breath, gasping it out at his proximity. Usually you’re the one initiating the contact, little side hugs or poking his cheeks when he’s grumpy. You always tease him about his fear of intimacy.

He huffs out a breath and closes his eyes. His hands tighten their grip on your waist. 

You let him hold you. Part of you can tell he somehow needs this. You wonder if he can feel how heavily your heart is beating inside your chest. It feels thunderous to you. 

Yoongi shifts, turning his face into your neck. You feel yourself relax a bit. This feels more familiar, closer to the hugs you’ve shared before. You allow yourself to wrap your arms around him, hoping to bring him some comfort. 

“Don’t date anyone else.” 

The words are soft, spoken against the skin of your neck. But you hear them perfectly. And your heart skips a beat all the same. “Yoongi-”

He moves, pulling his face from the crook of your neck. It takes him a minute to bring his eyes up to meet yours. And it almost seems to pain him when he croaks out “Please, Y/N.” 

One of your hands seems to have its own mind as it combs through the hair at the back of his neck. His eyes close a little as he waits for your answer. “Okay,” you whisper. 

His sharp gaze snaps up to yours and it takes you aback. Your hormone addled brain thinks that he’s going to kiss you. And it really seems like he’s going to. He moves one of his hands from your waist to cradle your face in his palm. 

You lick your lips subconsciously and Yoongi’s eyes dart down to watch the action. And then something happens in his brain because he’s letting you go and backing away. “I should go,” he mutters as he pulls a mask from his coat. 

Something about his tone is final. You don’t want to push it or question him. He turns back to you when he’s out in the hallway. “I’ll call you later.” 

You nod, thoroughly overwhelmed and incapable of forming a response. And then he’s gone. And you close the door and have to ask yourself if you didn’t just dream the whole thing. 

You were slammed at work the next week, trying to get the initial details of your new project hammered out. And maybe the lack of communication from Yoongi encouraged you to throw yourself headfirst into the work. Because you really didn’t want to stop and think about what your conversation that night had meant. 

‘Don’t date anyone else’? That could really only mean one thing, right? If he didn’t want you dating anyone else it was so you could be with him. Right?

Or maybe he just meant he didn’t want you dating the wrong guys, to protect you or whatever. As if he could know that Minho or any of the other guys you’d dated were “wrong”. 

And this whirling blackhole of a thought process is exactly why you’d been staying late every night this week. 

The sun had been down for hours when you finally left your office building. You’re on the subway home when Yoongi calls you. Your eyes widen and you feel your heart stutter a bit when you see his name on the screen. 

When you answer the phone you immediately hold the receiver away from your ear, the speaker blasting music and overlapping chatter from a crowd. “Yoongi?” 

You think you can hear him saying something in the background. After a few moments you hang up. He must’ve called accidentally. And you have to kick yourself for getting so excited. 

He’s out at a club or a concert, judging by the noise. It could be for work or for pleasure. Either way, he’s out with people and probably other girls- 

You have to stop yourself. He’s not yours. 

You get through the train ride and the walk home with a set jaw. This was exhausting. This weird, in-between thing was way worse than just suppressing your feelings altogether. 

It was a little after 10:00 when he started texting you. You’d just finished eating a bowl of instant noodles over the sink when you see it. And from the first text you could tell he was drunk. 

10:11 Yoongi: I MISs you

10:15 Yoongi: Y/N

10:15 Yoongi: This palace sucks

10:19 Yoongi: wis

10:19 Yoongi: I wish

10:20 Yoongi: Wish yu were hr

10:23 Y/N: Yoongi, you’re drunk. Text me when you’re sober. 

Not long after your message he tries calling again. It pains you to do it but you let it go to voicemail. Nothing he says right now is going to keep you from combusting. 

So you try to occupy yourself with a few episodes of trashy reality TV until you think you’re tired enough to go to bed. Yoongi hadn’t texted or called again. You hoped it was because he went home. Your brain strayed to some other girl catching his attention at whatever club he was at. Imagined her taking his mind off of you and his phone. 

You bite your lip to stem off the ridiculous tears that spring into your eyes at the thought. He’s not yours, you remind yourself again.

The incredibly overwhelming sense of deja vu hits you when your ringing phone wakes you in the early hours of the morning. Yoongi’s face is on your screen. Maybe it’s because your brain is more than half asleep or because part of you is desperate to know if he went home alone that you answer the call.

You were grateful that you didn’t immediately hear the noise of pounding bass and drunk people in the background. But you do hear traffic noise, lots of it. 

“Yoongi?” 

“Y/N, what time is it?” His voice is still heavy with alcohol and you wince. 

“It’s like one in the morning, Yoongi. Where are you?” 

“Fuck. I told you I wouldn’t call you like this again.” He mumbles and you can imagine his lips forming that adorable pout. You have to shake your head out of that thought process when you hear a car horn too close for comfort.

“Yoongi, listen to me. Where are you? Are you safe?” 

There’s a moment of silence as you imagine him looking around. “I’m- near the um, that corner store where you spilled soda all over me that one time. ‘member?” 

“Yeah, I remember. Yoongi, can you get yourself a ride? You should go home and sleep this off.” 

He continues talking, as if he didn’t hear you. And maybe he didn’t. He sounded just like that night, months ago. Who knows how much he’s had to drink. “You were so… so flustered and I-I remember you asking me how much my shirt cost because you were worried you wouldn’t be able to pay me back. And I told you it was just a regular t-shirt but really it cost $300 and I never told you that. And you were so cute. You were stuttering, and your cheeks were so red.” 

“You- you kept trying to clean me up and everyone in the store was staring. I kind of realized then that you were maybe the cutest girl I had ever seen. Like, the cutest. But I didn’t… I didn’t know how to say that. Because I don’t like people and there are very few that I choose to spend time around.” 

While (a very large) part of you loved this confession, you know it didn’t count. He was so incredibly drunk and would probably not remember any of this in the morning. And since you couldn’t see him, all your brain can imagine is that he’s about to stumble into traffic at any moment. 

“Yoongi please. I need you to put me on speaker while you get yourself a taxi. I need to know you’re safe.” 

He cuts himself off. All of a sudden the traffic noise is much louder so he must’ve put you on speaker. He grumbles as he’s tapping through the app. “Y/N thank you for taking such good care of me.” 

“You’re welcome, Yoongi.” Your voice comes out whisper-soft and he might not have heard you over the rushing cars, 

He must take you off speaker because he’s easier to hear again. “Says it should be here in ten minutes.” 

You exhale, not even realizing how worried you had been. “Okay, good.” 

“You interrupted me, you know.” Again, you can picture the pout on his face so clearly. 

You chuckle a little, leaning back against your headboard. “You’re right I did.” 

“Where was I?” You notice his Daegu accent is slipping in the more he talks. You wish it didn’t affect you as much as it did. “Oh, that people suck. Not you though, Y/N. You don’t suck and I’ve been scared to tell you that because I love our friendship. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

Your heart flutters. You try to keep reminding yourself not to read too much into this. He’s drunk and has never said anything along these lines when he’s sober. He’s had all the opportunity. But maybe you’re a masochist because you ask. “Fuck what up, Yoongi?”

He sighs. “I hate that I’ve never had the guts to say any of this to you sober. I’m such a coward, Y/N.” 

As if you somehow know what he’s going to say, you try to stop him. “Yoongi, wait.” 

“I love you, Y/N. I’m fucking stupid because I love you and I can’t even say it to your face.” 

Tears sting into your eyes because this feels so surreal and it almost physically pains you to hear the words you’ve been dreaming about for so long. 

You think you hear him getting into the cab when a car door slams shut and the traffic noise is much more muffled.  “I fucking love you, Y/N,” he sighs happily, like he’s glad to have it off his chest. 

You have to steel yourself because you can feel your brain slipping into La La Land. “Yoongi, you are drunk. Hang up and call me when you’re sober.” 

He chuckles a little. “So bossy. Just because I’m hanging up, doesn’t mean I’ll forget that I love you,” he croons. 

“Christ,” you mutter under your breath and hang up.

You flop against your pillows and try to calm your racing heart. What. The. Fuck. 

In all of your fantasies about Yoongi you had never let yourself imagine he would say those words to you. It was too painful. 

It was painful even now. Until you could talk to Yoongi face to face, you couldn’t know what he meant, if he meant any of it at all. So you were reminding yourself of this, to keep yourself sane as you lay spread eagle on your bed. Wondering what you did in your past life to deserve this kind of emotional turmoil.

When there’s a knock on your door. And a very drunk Yoongi calling your name through the cheap wood. 

You run to the door to let him in before he wakes up any of your nosy neighbors. When you open the door, Yoongi almost falls across the threshold. You reach out on instinct to steady him and close the door promptly behind him.

“Would you shut up?” you hiss. 

As he straightens and sees you, he gets this lazy smile on his face. 

You decide to speak first and cut off whatever thought process he had. “What are you doing here?” 

Yoongi pouts and rubs a thumb across your cheek. “I missed you.” 

“You were supposed to go home Yoongi.” 

“Didn’t want to,” he shrugs. 

You sigh, knowing you didn’t have the heart to kick him out when he was like this. “Fine. Will you at least take a shower before you crash? You stink.” 

“You just want me naked,” he says, waggling his eyebrows at you. 

Instead of answering him, you turn to your room to get him a change of clothes. If he were anyone else, if he hadn’t just told he loved you- this would be hilarious. You would never let Yoongi live this down. 

But it wasn’t someone else. It was Yoongi. And not only had he told you he loved you, it seems like he already forgot about it. He was so unaware of the spiral you were in it was painful. 

He was struggling with his boots when you made your way back into the living room. You swallow back the lump in your throat as you kneel in front of him. 

You nudge his hands away and make quick work of the laces. 

“Y/N.” When you look up, you’re struck with the clarity in his gaze. You’re not sure what changed in the time it took you to get him some clothes but the flirty Yoongi was gone. 

His eyes were still dropping and he was a little sideways on your couch but he seemed more like Yoongi again. 

“What?” you ask and wince when your voice cracks. 

“I meant it.” 

Your eyes close and you sit back on your heels to give yourself some distance. “Yoongi, please.” 

He doesn’t say anything more and when you finally open your eyes again, he’s running a hand over his face. “Okay,” he sighs. Then he grabs the clothes from off the floor and disappears into the bathroom. 

How did things get so complicated so quickly? 

This was exactly the kind of situation you were hoping to avoid all these years. You roughly wipe your eyes to stop any tears from falling before getting to your feet.

You hear the shower turn on as you make up the couch, tucking sheets into the cushion and bringing out extra pillows. And then you don’t know what to do with yourself. Your first instinct is to go close yourself in your room and not come out until he’s gone in the morning. 

You knew you could never do that though. You’d never been good at ignoring Yoongi. It was unclear if other people experienced this kind of magnetism towards him, but you were hopeless.

Because of the war going on in your brain, you were still sitting on the couch when Yoongi walked back down the hallway. And - in a word - oof. 

The clothes were his, some you’d stolen a long time ago but he’d put on a muscle since then so the shirt was a little tight. His damp hair hung a little longer, hanging into his eyes a little bit. 

The shower seemed to do him some good, he looked a little more alert. More himself.

You watch him warily and tuck your knees into your chest. He takes a seat opposite you on the coffee table. Then you two sit there, not looking at and not talking to each other. 

Then Yoongi heaves a heavy sigh and you dare to look at him. “Y/N…” He doesn’t seem to have more to say than that.

You turn to look at him. “Yoongi, I’m exhausted. Can we talk in the morning?” 

He nods, shoulders sagging. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.” 

You shoot up from the couch, ready to get out of this tense atmosphere. “I brought out sheets and blankets. And there’s a stack of pillows there. If you need anything else, you know where everything is.” 

“Y/N.” Yoongi’s hand reaches out, maybe to stop you or grab you. You just dart a few paces away. You had no resolve left and you were pretty sure if he touched you at this point that would just crumble. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Yoongi.”

His sighs and it ruffles your hair, sends a shiver down your back. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

The next morning, as the sun shone brightly through your curtains, you were praying for a sinkhole to open underneath your apartment building and swallow you whole. Or maybe like a stray asteroid could come in through your window. Less casualties that way. Anything to get you out of this conversation with Yoongi.

You hadn’t slept all night, trying to decode Yoongi’s words and your own feelings. You’d been squashing them down for so long, trying to make them as small and inconsequential as possible. 

It was sometime after the sky started to turn pink that you truly allowed yourself to accept how much you love Min Yoongi. How much you always have. 

For as long as you can remember, you have cherished every moment with him. Your movie nights. When you could bring your laptop to his studio and listen to him produce music while you worked. Getting late night coffees at the same cafe you first met. 

The list goes on. 

Now it was just a matter of figuring out if Yoongi really did… love you. You know that saying “drunk words are sober thoughts.” And maybe it was true in this case. But what if he just meant he loved you as a friend?

Really, it wasn’t that far fetched. You have never met a more emotionally guarded person than Yoongi. He didn’t even want to admit to being friends until after you threatened to send a video of him dressed up as his female counterpart “Yoonji” to Dispatch. 

In short, you were getting nowhere fast. Which is why you finally kicked yourself out from under your sheets to make some coffee. Coffee always helps right?

A quick peek into the living room and you can see Yoongi curled up on the couch, still out. 

You tiptoe past him and into the kitchen. You start to brew a pot of coffee and let the comforting smell wash over you. It seemed to rouse Yoongi as well. Over the back of the couch you see him stretch his arms, groaning as he does it. 

You pour two mugs of coffee and give him time to fully wake up. 

He shuffles into the kitchen, one eye cracked open and trying to smooth his hair down with his hands. “Morning,” he mumbles.

You wordlessly hand him a mug of plain black coffee. He hums gratefully and takes a large gulp. 

Not for the first time you internally coo at his early-morning grumpiness. His eyes are puffy and his hair is sticking up in multiple directions despite his efforts. You sip your own coffee and try to figure out how to start this conversation. 

Yoongi leans against the opposite of the island counter and looks at you over the rim of his mug. “So.” 

“So,” you agree. And then leap into it. “You remember everything you said last night?” 

He takes another large gulp of his coffee before setting the mug down. “I do.” 

You lean your elbows down on the counter and grip onto your mug with both hands to have something to ground you. “Okay.” 

Yoongi looks at you, eyes wary. You can’t look at him, can’t be the one that says something that ruins this friendship.

“Y/N… can we just forget it?” 

Your eyes fall closed. You wonder at the same time if it’s possible for your heart to fall out of place in your chest because it no longer feels like it’s there. “Yeah,” you force out of your vocal chords. “Let’s forget it.” 

“I just- it was wrong for me to say those things. To you. While I was so… out of it.” Yoongi sighs. “Will you look at me? Please?” 

He’s staring at you, fully awake now. His gaze is imploring, like his words are saying one thing but his eyes are trying to tell you something else. 

“Y/N, your friendship is one of the most important things in my life. You found me when I was in a shitty place and couldn’t find any real people to be around. Everyone wanted to know Agust D, they didn’t give a fuck about me. I can’t lose that, I can’t lose you-” 

You take another drink from your mug to distract you and to hopefully hide the tears building in your eyes. This was the most likely scenario, you knew that. But you had still allowed yourself to hope for the best. 

“I get it Yoongi. You love me, as a friend.” 

He makes this noise in the back of his throat and comes around the island towards you. 

On instinct you back away, trying to keep the distance. You throw your hands up when your back hits the counter behind you. “Yoongi, please don’t-” 

He immediately stops a few feet away from you. “This is exactly what I didn’t want,” he says, voice breaking a little on the last words. “I didn’t want to upset you.” 

You realize that the tears in your eyes have fallen so you wipe them away hastily. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Yoongi frowns, “You’re crying so it’s not fine.” He looks at you with such concern that it hurts. Like he would do anything to fix it if he could. 

“Please don’t look at me like that,” you say weakly. 

“Like what?” 

You are exhausted, mentally and physically. So your filter is gone. And you blurt, “If we’re going to be just friends, I can live with that but that means you can’t look at me like that. Like you love me more than that.” 

Yoongi just looks at you, jaw slack. “Let me be perfectly clear, Y/N. If we’re going to be just friends I am going to be the one living with it. Because…” he sighs and closes his eyes, as if to collect himself. “Because I do love you more than that.” 

If your heart hadn’t fallen out of place earlier it certainly did in that moment. “What?” you squeak.

He takes a cautious step towards you. “Last night, I meant everything I said. I’ve never been brave enough to say it to your face, but I have been in love with you for the better part of three years. It wasn’t fair of me to say all of that to you or to show up here and have you take care of me. And I mean it, we can be friends. Because I’d rather be friends than nothing at all. But since we’re here I might as well get it all off my chest, even if it means I never mention it again. At least that way I can finally breathe again.” 

Your chest heaves with panicked breaths as you absorb everything he just said. This time there wasn’t any way to misconstrue his words. No doubt about the meaning. Yoongi had just laid himself bare in front of you. 

“Idiots,” you mutter. 

Yoongi’s eyebrows shoot up past his hairline. “What?” 

“We are idiots,” you say and a somewhat manic laugh slips its way past your lips. When you see the hurt cross his face, you step closer and clap a hand over your mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, Yoongi.”

He pulls back a step and the action sobers you immediately. “We are both complete idiots, Yoongi. Because I’ve never been brave enough either. Brave enough to tell you that you are what kept me sane during my intern year. That getting to see you is the best part of my day. And I’ve never told you I love you because I was terrified of you not feeling the same way.” 

“Idiots,” he muses. Yoongi looks at you, eyes darting everywhere as if looking for the lie. His lips slowly curl into a smile when he doesn’t seem to find one. He closes the gap between you, cradling your face in his hands.

When he presses his lips to yours, it’s gentle. The tenderness makes your eyes slip shut, makes every time you’ve ever dreamt about this in the past pale in comparison. You could never have imagined how perfect it would feel when his hands roam the planes of your body, wrap around your waist and pull you flush against him. 

The closeness has you overwhelmed, whimpering into his mouth. You find yourself craving even more contact, pull yourself infinitesimally closer by wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. 

Yoongi pushes against you, making you stumble back a few steps until you hit the counter. Without missing a beat, his hands move from your waist down to your thighs. He grips the flesh there and hoists you up onto the countertop.

You gasp at the lift, legs wrapping around his hips for anchorage. Yoongi takes advantage and licks his way into your open mouth. You let him take the lead, feeling wholly overwhelmed by the way he kisses you. Your fingers thread in his hair, tugging on the roots when the sensations become too much. 

Yoongi groans, pressing his lips harder to yours for another second before pulling away. He immediately presses another chaste kiss to your lips before leaning his forehead on yours. 

You don’t open your eyes right away, almost afraid he won’t be there when you open them. 

“Y/N,” he whispers. Your heart flops over, probably somewhere down near your appendix at this point. “We really are idiots.” 

You smile, finally looking back at him. You tighten your legs around him, your body’s way of telling him he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. Yoongi’s eyes slip shut as he lets out a hiss. “Woman, you’ve gotta stop doing that.” 

“Why?” you smirk.

“Because all I’ve thought about for years is being able to love you like I want to. I want to love you in every way you deserve to be loved. But I also haven’t slept in days. I haven’t slept a full night since I was here last, for movie night. If you keep doing that I’m going to take you right here and it won’t be my A game.” He kisses you slowly, making your toes curl in. “I want to give you my A game.” 

You smile fondly at the rant but relent, dropping your legs to either side of his hips. Your fingertips trace the shadows under his eyes “I haven’t slept well either. Since that night.” 

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers, slumping into you. 

“Don’t be,” you say as you comb your fingers through his hair. “How about a nap? Because I too want nothing less than your A game.” 

Yoongi straightens and glares at you. You put a hand on his chest and push lightly. He backs up enough for you to hop down from the counter. You take one of his hands in yours, taking a second to appreciate how easily they fit together. 

“What, you’re not going to make me sleep on the couch again?” Yoongi says as you lead him to your room.

“I’m still not fully convinced this is all real.” You turn and pull him close again. “Until I am I need you to stay close to me. So no more couch.”

Yoongi smiles softly. “I can do that.” He kisses your forehead sweetly. 

He audibly groans as he climbs into your bed beside you. You roll your eyes at him. “Don’t be so dramatic.” 

“You try sleeping on that couch. Whoever talked you into that couch is a nutjob.”

You smack his chest. “You convinced me to buy that couch!” 

Yoongi shrugs, grinning softly. You smack him once more for good measure. Then you give into the instinct your body has been screaming for, which is to snuggle into him. You get comfortable with your head resting on his chest and one of your legs tangled between his. Your fingers fist into the material of his shirt on their own volition. 

He pulls you closer with the arm that’s under you, not seeming to be satisfied until every gap between the two of you is gone. 

“From now on, let’s be idiots together, okay?” 

Yoongi chuckles and drops a lingering kiss on the top of your head. “Deal.”

[sparkleswritings]

Hello! I know I made a request before, but I love your writing so much and I hope I can make another request. :D Up to you if you wanna do both or just pick either of the two! Can I please request for 65 + 177 + 200 from List 6? Kakashi x fem reader please. Ahhh thank you so much!

Okay this turned out a little challenging to write, I went through so many versions and drafts for it! Only because the prompts you chose were so perfect and I didn't want to mess them up >~<

This was originally very angsty but...I just couldn't bring myself to write angst throughout, I'm weaakk

I love your requests, thank you for sending them in! I hope you enjoyed ♡

Also! Special thanks to my lovely beta readers: @tachibrii @tiny93soo @titaniabuck

Love Me Not

Prompt: (they were too long to list, I put them in bold!)

Word count: 1,583

Tags: Slight angst, Fluff

Whenever he was around you, he'd always feel as if he were at the edge of a cliff. Just a little push and that was it. Ever since getting to know you, he would feel himself gravitating towards you, wanting to just be in your presence a little longer, a little more. It was out of his control.

And that's what made it dangerous.

It made things a little complicated. Kakashi knew he had feelings for you, he knew he wanted to be much more than just a colleague in your eyes. But then again, he wasn't ready. 

He wasn't ready to let someone in that way, not after everything he'd gone through. After losing so many people he cared about, it really did take a toll and he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to take that risk with you.

But he should really stop overthinking about this. Sure you've gone on dates and he was on the receiving end of your lovely cheek kisses, but nothing was ever official. Perhaps this was just a fling that wouldn't last long, and he really did hope so. You deserve someone who could return your feelings better than he ever could.

So when he heard those words tumble out from your mouth one day, out of the blue, Kakashi panicked. Maybe a little more than he should.

"Kashi, what's wrong?" the warm smile slipped from your face as you watched him go rigid, his eyes slightly widened in...fear? Dread? Confusion? You weren't quite sure.

That was definitely not the reaction you had been hoping for, nor the reaction you expected. He was quiet for a while before standing up, saying he had somewhere to be. He didn't even falter, just throwing you that close eyed smile of his as if nothing happened.

His facade was excellent.

"Kakashi," you called out to him, hoping he'd stay long enough to hear what you had to say, "I didn’t tell you that I love you because I wanted to hear it back. I told you because I needed you to know.”

And with that, you went back to sipping at your tea, the seat across you now empty. 

He had always preferred showing his affections through his actions, no matter how subtle they'd be, so you had assumed that he didn't know how to respond to what you said. After everything he's been through, you can only imagine how scary it'd be to love again. But you hoped that if you gave him enough time, he'd be ready to accept your heart.

Then again, it's been four days and your worriedness just kept piling. Was he going to cut you off without saying anything? Did you spook him that badly?

You confided in Kurenai, telling her how horribly the date ended, and how you had regretted saying those words to him. You should have taken his feelings into consideration and now you felt selfish.

"Don't blame yourself, Kakashi is just being...indecisive," she said.

"But what if I was mistaken? Now I'm starting to doubt we ever had anything between us at all. What if I was the only one who got carried away?" 

The red-eyed woman sighs, placing her hands on your shoulders so she could catch your gaze.

"Everyone who's seen the two of you knows that that isn't true.  He loves you, you know? He's just afraid of admitting it." She releases her grip before slinging her kunai pouch across her hips.

"The man's emotionally stunted, and maybe even scarred. Personally, I was surprised to see him receiving affection from you like that."

Well she was right, but as time passed by you realised that he just didn't know how to respond to such things. You found it a little adorable but right now, it was frustrating.

"Anyway, it's about time for me to leave for my mission, tell me if he contacts you while I'm gone."

Once again, you were alone in the room, the warm sunlight that filtered in through the windows combined with your overworked mind began to make you feel drowsy.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You rubbed sleep from your eyes, trying to find the source of that obnoxious, persistent sound, only to find someone crouching outside of your window.

None other than Kakashi Hatake himself.

You didn't know whether to be excited or worried. After four days he suddenly shows up on your windowsill. Was he going to pretend he never heard what you had said, or will he have an answer ready for you?

"What is it?" you asked, looking up at him. His body towered over you, blocking the sun that has ever so slightly begun to set.

"My, four days of not speaking and that's the first thing you came up with?"

"Don't get sassy with me Hatake." You flicked his chest. "I was worried."

He gave you a small chuckle that didn't match the emotion he held in his eyes. Whether it was a good or a bad thing, you could only guess that you were about to find out.

He beckoned you to follow him and you obliged silently. Somehow you had a bad feeling about this, but you were just going to have to go along and trust him. 

The spot he had taken you to was scenic, a wooden bridge with red railings. Behind it, the sun was a brilliant orange, casting ribbons of light and shadow around you, bouncing off the waters of the peacefully running stream below.

This was such a nice place and you wonder why you had never even seen it before.

You were expecting him to say something, anything, but he only gave you silence, staring off into whatever was in front of him. You were growing a little anxious.

"Y/N," he finally spoke, turning around so he could face you.

"Yes?" It was a challenge to keep your voice steady but you lifted your head to face him.

"I think," he began, "I think it would be best for our...relationship to remain professional. Or at the very least platonic, if you'd be okay with that."

The way he said it so easily made the weight of the words settle in much slower, but when it did, you turned your back on him as to hide your eyes that had turned glassy.

You took a deep breath, pushing your weight onto the railings before giving off a sigh. You weren't surprised, just disappointed. On the way here, you had been running through worst case scenarios in your head, this was one of them.

"So, you took me to such a nice place to break my heart hm? What a gentleman." you said. "I knew it...it was because of what I said wasn't it? I thought you just needed more time but I guess you just didn't feel the same."

"That's not it," his firm tone surprised you. He was being so indifferent about the whole thing you were sure it was just because he didn't think the connection you shared was real.

"It's not because I don't feel the same way, Y/N. I'm not going to go too deep into it but I just wanted to break it off cleanly. You deserve closure."

Did he just return your feelings and break them at the same time? You wanted to laugh, he was the only one who could make you feel that way and now he was slipping away from you like sand.

You guessed that your fear of losing him caused you to snap.

“You’re a coward, Kakashi. You hide away this entirely different part to yourself all because you’re afraid that someone might get close to you! You’re afraid that someone might just care about you more than you think you deserve. That - that isn’t fair," you choked. You hated that you were the only one getting so emotional but what did you expect? Him to break down crying and begging you to stay? Not a chance.

"You're right," he said.

Surprised, you looked up at him once more, your vision a bit blurry from the tears.

"I'm afraid that I don't deserve you and nothing you say will ever change my mind."

He looked like he wanted to come closer, but like you said, his facade was excellent. His walls were tall and you had failed to climb them.

"You don't need to deserve my feelings, I just think you're uncertain," you walked up to him, pleased that he didn't run away the moment your palm touched his cheek.

"Uncertain about love and what comes with it...I understand why you feel that way. But I really do love you Kakashi," your voice dropping to a whisper at the end.

"I will wait for you, until you're completely sure about what you're doing, because frankly, I can't accept your decision right now."

"What?"

"I'm saying that I don't agree with the break up."

"Excuse me?" Kakashi held your hand away from his face, a glint back in his eye. He looked as if he wanted to burst out laughing.

"You heard me. I'm going to change your mind even if it kills me."

He had been so sure he had to let you go then and there but god you were making this very hard for him.

"I'm taking that as a challenge," he said, stepping a little closer to you, enough to make you a tad breathless.

"Bring it."

[h3l10tr0p3]

Headcanon: Deku, the Serial Shipper

Contains- Mentions of sexual activities, established relationship - Bakudeku; Crack pairings- TodoIna, JiroMomo, UraTsuyu, UraTenya, DenkiSero, Kirimina, platonic Kiribaku etc.

(Beware- Long post)

Jesus Christ, I just had this HC and now I gotta spill, otherwise I won't be able to sleep tonight. Here's another annoying Long Post for y'all)

Deku, as a Pro Hero and Katsuki's Duo Partner, has a pretty hectic life since the media are crazy bloodhounds, the villains are a pain in the ass, interacting with fans becomes exhausting at times, and the critics are demons wailing for his blood.

Yeah, very hectic. And on top of that, there's very little time to relax. Most of the days he sneaks some solace in the gym, if he can buy more time he likes to read and immerse himself in his notebooks and research. Fighting Katsuki to blow some steam is a last resort to shed off weeks of frustration and only reserved for off-days or desperate times - because something like that inevitably devolves into gratuitous rough sex or worse, day-long fuck-a-thon. Not that Deku doesn't enjoy it, he simply doesn't have the time to indulge and he knows Kacchan doesn't either, so they try to keep their hands off each other unless the occassion begs for much-needed violent release.

But sometimes, you just want instant relief. Sometimes Deku just wants to kick back and relax like a normal person, go on the internet, without everyone hounding him for a piece of his mind.

So he does.

Under Anonymity.

Et viola @allmight9000 comes alive on several media platforms including Tumblr and Twitter. At first, Deku masquerades around as a hardcore All Might fan fighting anyone who dares to diss the retired Symbol of Peace . But since his retirement, his popularity has gone cold, not many heated debates take place around him anymore and as sad as this makes Deku, he decides to discover new venues.

Now, Deku knows there's this dark void of fanfiction lurking on the net and there's no escape from it should he ever set foot into it. He is also aware of the dark things that beckon him from the sewers like Pennywise the Dancing Clown (eg. All Might/Endeavour, Hawks/Endeavour, All Might Bowl, All Might/ Hero Harem, All Might/Midnight, All Might/Aizawa/Present Mic and so on), things he should rightfully keep a safe distance from. But this is fucking Deku we are talking about- ofcourse he dares to dip his foot into the murk of fanfiction.

For science, he thinks, and takes the plunge.

It all goes downhill from there.

One day, Katsuki comes back from his shift to find Deku face-planted into the sofa, he hasn't eaten lunch, hasn't bathed and is claiming trauma, repeatedly insisting that he has sinned and he is going to hell for it, then he shakily holds up a 367k word fic of Villain Might/Endeavour. Katsuki has to slap him back to his senses. Later that night, Deku calls up Toshinori and asks him for forgiveness, when Toshinori asks him worriedly, 'For what?', Deku assures him he DOES NOT wanna know.

After obsessively going through various tropes and completing every Enemies to Lovers / Mutual Pining / Unrequited Love fic there is (and there is a lot, Deku hates himself every day for it), waiting torturous weeks for dead authors to rise from the ashes for a teeny tiny update, Deku finally gives up his small lake of unfulfilling All Might ships (because frankly it's hard to find a fic that suits his tastes and convincingly fleshes out a love story around a man who has pointedly avoided romance for the better part of his LIFE or a find a fic which is COMPLETE) and sets out into the sea of Ships.

Bad Idea.

Very VERY Bad Idea.

(We know it, he knows it. Katsuki is the only one who is blessedly oblivious because he chooses not to wade into Deku's mental shit and compromise his own sanity.)

Strangely, Deku has come to take an odd satisfaction of returning to fan mentality of shipping two people without restraints (rarely more than two)-it's simple, senseless, easy. It gives his head a break from all the overanalyzing it does and gives him a small dose of endorphins when he cant work out, eat out or fuck out the frustration. He was adverse to it first, since these are strangers trying to ship two random people (people he is friends with), and it was unsettling to find so many people shipping them when they've BARELY had any interaction in canon real life! What's the premise of shipping them at all? He just didn't find any allure to it back then. So he kept his reads under fluff and under mature ratings because he feels uncomfortable reading smut about his friends.

But Deku had a 'Oh my God they were ROOMMATES' moment when Jirou and Momo announce that they are dating to the U.A. Alumni, that too after reading a really fluffy Creati/Earphone Jack fic which accurately referenced their public sightings together and spun it into plot-points quite masterfully. ( the author did a real good job on it) And the most horrifying thing about the fic, Deku finds, is the fact that NO ONE, not even the AUTHOR knows how correct they were in their estimates! No one except Deku.

That realization shakes the foundations of Deku's beliefs and morality as he wonders how many fics out there , sfw or smut, requited or unrequited love, enemies to lovers or lovers to strangers, fluff or smut have come so so close to the truth, been so damn close - like an alternate course of their love-story? and WHY IS NO ONE GIVING IT MORE KUDOS?

This is how Deku ends up being the most irredeemable Shipper of the universe- with a mission in hand:

To curate proof of all valid ships and to supply aforesaid proof of it to the world (as subtly as he can of course, so as to not compromise his own identity or the privacy of the Shipped.)

He begins to scour through the net for paparazzi photos, indulges in gossip, pries out information of who is dating whom from his Hero contacts, authenticates it, creates folders and subfolders of photographic 'proof' (they are just teasers really) and whenever anyone writes a fic that comes anywhere close to the real thing he makes sure to tag them in his tumblr/twitter post with photos which basically pour gasoline over their fiery passion to continue dreaming and writing fics around those Ships. Like:

You wrote a fic of Fluffy Iron Fist x Real Steel? Here you go- an obscure pic of them leaving her apartment together

Uravity x Ingenium and Uravity x Froppy? A love triangle that could possibly end in heartbreak?!! Damn, sistah, who knows? (She's confused too, imho) So here you go- Uravity getting tipsy with Froppy and Uravity snuggling to Ingenium under the rain.

One-shot of Chargebolt x Cellophane getting frisky in an alley? Honey, I gotchu. Here's a pic of them arriving at a villain scene together with dishevelled clothes.

All Might x Endeavour Slow Burn? My dear friend- here's a picture of the Symbol of peace roasting marshmallows with Shouto on flaming Endeavour merch. Please don't make me block you.

All Might x Midnight? Here's a pic of my mom, me and my Dad AllMight. Midnight, Who binch?

Celsius (Shouto) x Gale Force Stripper AU? Oh, hey, look I'm totally that one lucky guy who was in the right place at the right time, okay? I dont know these guys personally, OKAY? Not. At. All. But I have some Opinions™ about your fic? and pics to support it. Just wanna show you that maybe...i mean...MAAYYYYYYBEEEE...the stripper is Galeforce, not Celsius? Yeah? Don't worry though, You're doing good. Love the slow build, keep up the good work!

Deku becomes a sensational fic-writer-enabler and often gives inspiration to writers who are looking to write for a new fandom. Deku's got their backs.

He sinks so deep into this Shipping business that one day Katsuki catches wind of it. It was becoming painful to keep ignoring Deku's descent into madness. Katsuki was okay with it as long as the nerd did his job well and fucked him even better (which Katsuki will never admit to enjoying, even at gun point. Pull the trigger, you coward). So, yeah, Katsuki could have accepted all of Deku's weird stalkerish behaviours (even if they weren't fixated on him all the time anymore and the 'Kacchan, sugoi!' comments had plummeted drastically....who needs the shitnerd to validate his worth, right?! Right...it didn't make him pissed AT ALL. because admitting that would mean he enjoyed it, WHICH HE DID NOT, MIND YOU)

What Katsuki couldn't accept was Deku accidentally using his official Hero twitter handle to post a very platonic (but in the eyes of rabid fans- borderline homoerotic) pictures of him and Eijirou and posted it as #Ground_Riot. The fucking flood of Zeku-haters and pro-GroundRioters had the comments section on FIRE. The post goes VIRAL.

Deku, fucking DEKU, the man who is secretly ENGAGED to him, is promoting GroundRiot like NO ONE's business and HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE DID WRONG.

Katsuki finds Deku happily puttering around their shared apartment completely oblivious to the PR hell that has been licking at his heels. He immediately attacks Deku's account and is completely gobsmacked. Lo and fucking behold- every fifth picture in his blog is fucking GROUND RIOT.

Not just that, apparently, THIS MAN, his fucking FIANCE, is not only a renowned peacemaker in inane Ship wars, but is hailed as a Soothsayer of Ships for always correctly prophecizing "Ships that will Sail into the fucking Sunset', he is basically some minor god in the Hero fandom who is extorting excitement out of fic writers and fans alike so that 'the crime of incomplete fics' can be eradicated once and for all. And Deku's fucking commited to it.

(perhaps more commited to Ground Riot than his own betrothal because there isn't A SINGLE POST of ZEKU on his blog)

There's even a post where he answers an ask from anonymous. The question: "Are you also anti-Zeku? I have never seen you post anything related to that ship. Is it because you think it won't Sail?" And Deku answers shortly how he isn't explicitly Anti-Zeku, but doesn't like the idea of reading fanfics of that ship. He clearly witholds his opinion if the ship will sail or not. Katsuki also finds the chat which started all this shit.

Chat-

Hey! @allmight9000. I wanted to write a GroundRiot fic? Could you give me some inspiration?

Aww, sure! It's my favourite Ship tbh. I love GroundRiot. I have a whole gigabyte of inspirations in my laptop. I'll send you some when I get back home, okay?

Yup!!! I am actually a hardcore Zeku fan. But recently my friends got me into Ground Riot and I am addicted!! But Zeku will always have a special place in my heart <3

I see. :)

Do you wanna try it out? I know you mentioned you don't like it. But I know some REALLY good fics.

No thank you ^_^ I make it a point to not read those fics. I just can't visualize it working, you know?

Oh...np. Each to their own. But I really hope one day you try reading some if you can?

I don't think so ...😅...uh...but..Any preferences for your inspiration though? or genre youre interested in?

Fluffff!!

Haha, okay! Look out for the new post on my twitter!

YASSS!! Love ya!

You too!

Katsuki sees red, he's about to flip his shit when he decides to give Deku one LAST fucking chance to explain WHY THE FUCK is he promoting Ground Riot when he should be shipping Zeku and demands of him if he really wants their Fucking Ship To Sail Or Not.

Deku gets defensive and says of course he does. Katsuki asks why he has been trying to push him onto Eijirou all this time if he wasnt serious about it. Deku doesnt want to answer. Then Katsuki gets fruatrated and asks WHY the fuck didnt he post Zeku.

"Because I don't want to support it"

"We are literally fucking engaged, you moron. What the FUCK do you mean you don't support it?!"

"I support Us, Kacchan! I just don't wanna support Zeku-shippers! Those two things are different!"

"WHy dont you wanna support them?! tHere is No Difference!"

"There is! I am not obligated to do anything for you. But if I admit to shipping Zeku out loud to the shippers, then I'm obligated to post pictures of us and I know that if I start posting that then my blog will literally be a flood of just Us all over!!"

"What is WRONG with that?!!"

"WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ENGAGED IN SECRET! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW! you said it yourself! That you don't like the useless yapping of reporters about your love-life where it isn't their business!"

"YEAH? WELL FUCK THAT!"

And Katsuki whips out his phone, takes a selfie of french kissing the hell out of Deku and immediately posts in on his twitter. Deku has hardly reeled back from that intense kiss when he realizes what Katsuki has done and he practically explodes in shame.

"Kacchan!! Our secret!"

"Your fucking fault, Deku. If I have to deal with the shitty extras at all, it better be for the right Ship, you dumbass. I'll punt you straight to China if I hear Ground Riot from your mouth ever again...capiche?"

"But I like Ground Riot...It's a valid ship, Kacchan. You cant diss on it just like that. It has wonderful scope, and the fluff in this ship is AMAZING. I think I have a soft spot for Uke!GZ and Soft!GZ now... and it is a really mutually productive ship unlike- hrmff!", Katsuki shuts him up with a smack to his mouth and sheds his shirt.

"Shut your mouth and strip, shitnerd. I'll fuck the Ground Riot out of you. Also, let's make this fucking clear that if you mention ANYTHING that goes anywhere near Eijirou's dick,ass, balls or mouth", Katsuki shivers, "then I'll wreck your dick, ass, balls and mouth. Remember that. Now STRIP"

"But what about platonically? That's a solid ship, right? Right, Kacchan? Also It doesn't mention Eijirou's- fuck!!!"

Deku gets wrecked thoroughly.

(Let's observe one moment of silence for his Shipping ass 🙏)

(r.i.p. Deku)

Katsuki later asks him why Deku doesn't read Zeku fics either, cause pretending to not like it to weasel out of obligation is fine, but it doesn't explain why he refuses fo read any either.

"A fic, especially the ones that I like, always are these perfect little stories which always have a happy ending. Can't help it, I'm weak to it, Kacchan- it's why I read fics at all, you know? For the rush of happiness and feels! It's always written with the intention that it will be perfect! And it is. But it doesn't come close to the real thing. There can be fics out there that come really close to what we really have though - but I refuse to accept that any fic could be better than the imperfectly perfect things I have with you, Kacchan. No matter what anyone insists, what I have with you is perfect to me. You are perfect to me. And that's all that matters."

Katsuki calls him an incorrigible sap and turns away to hide a violent flush that turns him red like a stop sign.

Omake:

Katsuki's #Zeku goes Viral too. But at this point no one understands what is going on or WHY. Because GZ appears to be a Zeku shipper when Deku is a GroundRiot shipper. Confusion abounds. Zac Efron memes agonize over Both ships, Captain America Japan Civil War Memes make a comeback. And for some reason, Deku keeps posting Ground Riot afterwards too and everytime he does, the next day he is seen limping.

"Did you have a hardtime with Zero-san at training yesterday?"

Before Deku can answer the one who asks him that, Eijirou comes up, winks and answers in his stead, "Very hard", and runs away to Mina's side before Deku has a shame-filled meltdown.

(The Ground Riot thing stops only when Mina and Eijirou get finally married.)