#i love him so much it drowns my soul
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oodlally-doodlally · 18 days ago
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feeling deeply atrociously sorrowful over Nie Huaisang and the position he ultimately ends up in and i am not a big enough boy to stop crying. this man has destroyed my spirit by destroying his own life (and others) i need to hug him immediately
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cosmic-ships · 6 months ago
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On a different note I feel guilty in a way? That I haven't really talked about Kylo in a few days and I feel bad about that. Okay so maybe some shitty people helped with making me feel bad about it.
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sheathnknife · 6 months ago
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the vampire diaries 8.16 // louise gluck, crossroads
“and damon, like the voiceover tell us, he was worried he would never see stefan again. it was just elena assuring him that there would be peace. that we’ve dealt with this other side of darkness for several seasons, but there’s also light out there and there’s peace, and damon will find it. if you search for it, you will find it. and we wanted to get that last moment to see that [...] damon found it too, and it looked just like his brother.” — kevin williamson
#not really satisfied with this one but eh#i don't envy gifmakers who've giffed the tunnel scene btw bc the lighting. my god. a travesty#anyway. beating this dead horse of an ep to death to eke out every last drop of defan it has to offer#the contrast between damon's expression when reuniting with elena vs stefan kills meeeee#he's doing THE most for stefan but for elena... go girl give us nothing dot jpeg fjskfjdj#also in typical spn brainrot fashion while listening to damon's anguished declaration of love toward stefan in the tunnel or whatever#i kept comparing it to dean's 7 minutes of incest ahh speech in the finale and. my god lol#like i'm aware pitting damon i-stole-my-little-brother's-gf-and-let-him-drown-while-locked-in-a-safe-for-three-months salvatore#against dean i-sold-my-soul-for-my-little-brother-and-i-will-do-it-again-without-hesitation winchester#is unfair to damon but damon's speech is SO bland and half-assed in and of itself#and it absolutely PALES in comparison to dean's speech it's actually pathetic lmfao#i couldn't stop thinking abt dean confessing that he stood outside sam's dorm for hours before barging in#bc he was scared sam would tell him to get lost#and it made me think that the writers could've made damon's speech that much more personal and impactful#by maybe throwing in a line like “i didn't come back to mystic falls all those years ago /just/ for katherine”#it would've recontextualized their reunion in the first ep and given the hello brother moment so much more depth#give us something authentic! something the audience isn't privy to!#something only damon would know and keep buried in the deepest darkest corner of his black heart!#like!!! i'm sorry but damon's dying (not really) declaration of love toward stefan reads so generic lol#just smacks of lack of creativity on the writers' part which. tbf. is like all of tvd post s3 lmao#maybe it's a me problem idk i just think the speech could've been. well. better (obviously i blame plec she gave kevin a whole lotta nothin#like once you sit down and start dissecting damon's words they don't feel /that/ weighted. if that makes any sense#ok so maybe i just wanted him to say he didn't come back to mystic falls just for kat ! sue me#ANYWAY. someone please for the love of god write me a post finale canon compliant defan fic#a defan-in-the-afterlife fic if you will#or a damon-being-miserable-after-stefan's-death-and-being-really-shit-at-coping fic. that works too#wowee these tags are a mess#defan#the vampire diaries#web weave
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chiistarri · 9 months ago
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imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
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sapphosboy · 2 years ago
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literally crying over Grey’s Anatomy right now 
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 4 months ago
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So Much Love in Oklahoma
Tyler Owens x fem!reader  7k words
summary: Tyler saves you from a tornado one day. The next, he shows up at your doorstep.
a/n: absolutely no clue about tornados. or oklahoma. don't come at me for inaccuracies
also!!! i'm currently working on some tyler smut too, but you are so definitely allowed to come request things (or just talk to me)! my inbox is wideeeee open, especially when it comes to mister owens <33
masterlist | twisters masterlist
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What happens that particular Tuesday afternoon should have been impossible. That's what goes through your head about a bazillion times in the following days. The chances of what happens even happening are about as close to zero, you think, as the possibility of you discovering a cure for cancer.
(They're not. Of course. But it feels like that.)
Because you're not even really in Oklahoma. You're just driving through Oklahoma. You're not from a place where they give you a 'How to Deal with Tornados' manual in school. You're entirely, completely, wholly unprepared for what's brewing as you drive down almost empty highways with the radio all the way up.
So when suddenly, you're in the middle of a storm, with the wind picking up until it drowns out your music and rain and hail slashing against your windows, you're absolutely terrified.
It forms within a few minutes, goes from barely grey skies to a horrible, horrible whirl of almost black clouds, and the insecurity you'd been feeling turns into the gut-churning realisation that you're unquestionably fucked.
Some part of your brain tugs out a deeply buried memory of cars being sucked into tornados on the news, so with your heart racing a few hundred miles per hour and your hands shaking so badly you can barely hold onto the steering wheel anymore, you maneuver your car onto the side of the road, just in time for you to be climbing out of the passenger seat as another car comes to a shrieking halt next to yours.
You're getting drenched within half a second, you're honestly not that sure whether your cheeks are wet from the rain or your tears, and on top of that, you almost trip as you set your trembling feet onto the ground below. The other car's driver bangs their door shut with a resounding thud that makes you flinch so hard you think your soul leaves your body. Your head shoots up as he shouts at you, already three steps away from his truck:
"What the hell are you doing out here?"
He's drenched, too - his hair sticks to his face and his shirt clings to his skin and his pants are stained at least a shade darker. But unlike you, he's not shaking, he's steady as a fucking rock, steady and quick, already reaching out for your arm before you can even begin to think. Your brain lags behind, foggy and cloudy and scared, so fucking scared. You're so terrified you can hardly open your mouth.
"I-", you stutter, then he's wrapping his big hand around your arm and tugging you away from your car, away from the road already.
"We need to get the fuck down!", he calls, pulling you with him onto one of those many, many fields that surround you. "There's a ditch over there, see that?"
You're wide-eyed, shaking, basically being dragged along by him - one foot in front of the other, that's what your brain's concentrating on right now, which is easier said than done. You trip over your own feet every other step. But the guy just wraps his arm around your waist and hurries further.
"Do you see that?", he asks again when you don't respond. Your mind races even faster than your heart does, but you force yourself to concentrate on his voice. The panic doesn't lessen, but his question shifts your focus. Ditch. Ditch. Not the storm raging around you, no, you're looking for a ditch. You're focusing on finding a ditch.
"Yeah", you breathe, your eyes finally catching on the ditch only a bit away.
"Yeah?", the guy shouts. "We need to get there. We need to get low."
With that, he picks up his pace once more and you stumble along, bumping into his side, watching the ditch come closer and closer and closer until your feet are drowned in dirty, muddy water.
"Alright, get down!", he shouts, unwrapping his arm from around your waist to help you into the cold, cold water. "Hold onto the ground!"
You aren't thinking. You can't think. Your brain has shut off completely. Panic numbs every part of you. All you can do, all you can possibly do, is concentrate on the voice of the man who's crouching down beside you. It's like his words have replaced your own thoughts, and like a marionette, you stretch out your arms and dig your fingers into the grass. Which is way easier said than done. You're pretty sure you feel one of your nails break as you try your hardest to find something, anything to hold onto. And then the wind hits.
If you'd thought you'd experienced heavy winds before, you were wrong. So wrong. No vacation in a surfer's town could possibly compare to this.
"Fuck!", you scream, instinctively dropping your head onto the moist grass below. The wind pulls and pulls and pulls at you and you imagine yourself being dragged by it - dragged away, away into certain death. But then an arm wraps around you, and the guy next to you is not next to you anymore but half on top of you, securing you in his arms, holding you close, pressing you to the ground.
"Stay down!", he shouts as you cling to the grass. "I got you."
I got you.
You replay that in your head like a mantra - he's got you, he's got you, he's got you. You're trembling, you're shaking, you're cramping, you're trying to hold onto the ground with all your might as the wind grows and grows and grows and pulls and pulls and pulls at you.
You want to scream. You think you're screaming. But it's so loud. It's deafening, the roar of the wind and the thunder. You can't hear yourself scream.
He can, though. He can. And he tightens his arms around you and repeats "I got you, I got you, I got you". And you believe him. You have to.
You're crying now, you're sure of that. Some part of you hurts. Maybe all of you hurts. You're scared. You're not just scared, you're terrified. It's loud, it's loud and it's everywhere, all around you.
And then suddenly - there's nothing.
It disappears within seconds.
There's no sounds. None. There's silence, deafening silence. Forget the calm before the storm - this is the silence after the tornado.
You take a few shuddering breaths. You're trembling, trembling from head to toes. You're soaked. You're cold.
"Alright, it's gone", the guy says - the guy that's still got his arms wrapped around you, who's still on top of you. "You did it."
He pulls his arm away from you and rolls onto his back next to you. Water sloshes around as he goes.
You don't move an inch.
You can't move.
You're stuck, you're frozen in place. Your fingers are cramped into the dirt and the grass and you're frozen.
The guy sits back up again and reaches out for you. He smooths his hand down your back, surprisingly warm against your ice-cold skin.
"Hey", he says softly. "You're okay. You can get up."
You pry your fingers from the ground one by one, flex your trembling hands and push yourself upright. It takes a few seconds for reality to sink in - you're in a ditch. In a ditch. You're soaked, soaked with muddy ditch water. Your shoes are drenched, your legs splattered with dirt, the hem of your dress soaked in brown. And you're cold. Ice-cold and trembling. And your legs hurt, your arms hurt, your fingers hurt. Three of your nails are cracked.
You're sitting in a ditch in the middle of Oklahoma and you'd just been through a tornado. A fucking ditch in Oklahoma and a tornado.
And a guy, a guy who's brushing his hand down your arm and eyeing you up.
"Alright, let's get you out of here, you're shaking", he says and for the first time, you turn your head and look at him. Actually look at him.
He's tall and he's blonde and he's drenched, too, drenched in that same dirty, muddy water as you. His hands are big, big and pleasantly warm as he grabs softly onto you and carefully maneuvers you towards him.
You don't really remember the next minutes. Not what you're doing, at least. It's a hazy, fuzzy passing of time - you barely remember that you're moving. You're cold and scared and still in shock and somehow, your eyes have locked onto him, onto this guy who you realise probably just saved your fucking life. Because when you come back to reality, he's wrapping a blanket around you - a dry, warm blanket - and the spot where you'd parked your car is empty.
Empty.
"My car", you whisper, staring wide-eyed at absolutely nothing. The guy wraps the blanket tighter around you before he looks over his shoulder and glances around.
"Your car's not that important", he reassures, even though his voice is heavy. Heavy and raspy, you realise. He's got a certain Southern twang to it that you hadn't noticed in all the chaos before. "Much more important is that you're alive."
You nod half-heartedly (he's right, some rational part of your brain shouts, while the practical part mourns the shit ton of money you'd just lost) and settle your eyes back on him.
You don't know what it is, exactly, but something about this, something about the warmth of the blanket and the way he's rubbing your arms, something about him, about his voice and his words, slowly peels away the layers and layers of terror that are clinging to your pounding heart.
You swallow hard, reach up to tug the blanket tighter around yourself and shift your focus. Not the car or the tornado or the fact that you're drenched in dirty ditch water - him. This guy in front of you, who's looking you up and down to check if you're hurt. It's easier that way. It's easier to calm down when you're not thinking about any of it. It's easier when you're staring at him, counting to ten, slowly regaining your sanity. And what's suddenly also easier is realising that this guy in front of you is very much easy to look at. Even though his hair sticks to his head, even though his jeans are stained brown. He's what you'd expect as a reference picture next to the word "handsome" in a dictionary.
All of a sudden, you're not as cold anymore. All of a sudden, you're rather flushed. Because if he's drenched and dirty, you must look about the same. And you don't think you want him to see you like that. You'd much rather meet him in a bar or something, when you're dressed up and clean and preferably not terrified.
"Thanks", you get out, a little too quickly as you tighten the blanket further around yourself. "For, uh, for saving my life."
The guy's lips quirk up and he grins, a lopsided, half-cocky grin that makes your heart leap.
"Anytime, sweetheart", he drawls, then reaches up as though he wants to tip his hat - just that he's not wearing one, so instead, he settles for brushing his hand through his hair, just a second too late to seem intentional from the start. "Why were you out here anyway? Half a mile back is a gas station with a basement."
"I didn't-", you start, hesitant to admit just how unprepared you'd been for what had happened. "I didn't know it was a tornado. I thought it was just a bad storm or something, I'm... I'm not from around here."
He nods at you, his lips already parting when you suddenly twitch away from him and sneeze - once, then twice. His grin has dropped by the time you look up at him again and excuse yourself. God, is this embarrassing.
"You need dry clothes before you catch a cold", he says, his eyes travelling down your soaked dress and your bare legs. "I've got a shirt in the trunk, give me a minute."
He walks towards the back of his car and opens up his trunk and you're hit with two thoughts at the same time. The first is more along the lines of goddamn, are his shoulders broad, but the second - arguably the one that should be more important - is why the fuck his car is still standing in the very same spot he'd parked it before the tornado had hit.
Especially when your car is absolutely nowhere to be seen. Your car and all your things inside it. Oh, god-
"Here you go", he says, holding out a dry copy of the shirt he's wearing, red checkered cotton. He's about to go on when you blurt out:
"Sorry, why's your car still... you know, there?"
His lips pull into that impossibly charming grin once more and he points at the underside of the truck.
"Tornado-proof", he explains, just the slightest bit cocky. You follow the invisible line he's drawing to two... what looks like giant screws? twisted into the ground below.
"Oh", you let out, not too intelligently - but really, what are you supposed to say?
He just chuckles and holds the shirt out for you again. You take it carefully, your fingers grazing his. He's so warm, so fucking warm. Meanwhile you're shaking even underneath the blanket he'd given you. Though that's also starting to get soaked.
"You can change in the car if you want", he offers, already pulling open the door to the passenger seat. You don't really have to think hard about it. You're drenched in the middle of nowhere, with no way to get home, and this guy has just saved your life. So you unwrap the blanket and give it back to him with a smile and a thanks.
It's tight and cramped inside the car, even as you roll the seat all the way back. You pry the drenched dress off of your body and only then remember to turn around and check if the guy is watching you (as handsome as he is, he's still a guy). But no, he's turned away, has his hands rested against his hips and is staring intently at the slowly clearing sky.
You turn back with a smile and get rid of your soaked bra, too, before you pull his shirt on over your head.
Damn, it smells good. He smells good. And it's very comfortable, you have to admit. Plus, it's dry, which is most definitely an improvement.
You take a few seconds to consider whether or not to pull off your shorts... but they're drenched, too, and the guy seems respectful enough to not risk a bladder infection for. So you take your shoes off, and your socks, and your shorts. And then you crack open the car door again and knock softly against the window.
"I'm done", you call out, loud enough that he can hear. He turns back and his eyes drag down your body - or what of it he can see through the open door - and even though he looks right back up at your face, you can't help but feel flustered. You ball your wet clothes up in your hands nervously.
"Alright then", he says, takes a step closer and reaches for the door handle. "You said you're not from around here, where were you driving?"
Ah, right, that part.
Honestly, with so much happening in so few minutes, you'd about blocked out everything else. Everything normal.
"My parents, uh-", you start, trailing off when you realise that's not much help for him. "About three, four hours from here."
"That's quite a drive", he chuckles. "I live maybe half an hour from here, how about I take you with me so you can eat and drink something? Maybe you can borrow a pair of Lilly's pants. And you could phone your parents."
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips and you narrow your eyes at him, taking a second too long to even understand all of what he's saying before taking another second too long to sort how you'll respond. Then you start with what you find most important.
"I've got my phone", you tell him, pulling it out from where you'd just deposited it in the centre console. "I had it in my pocket."
You'd taken it with you more reflexively than consciously when you'd stumbled out of your car - but truly, what self-respecting adult didn't take their phone with them when they left anywhere?
The guy just raises his eyebrows and glances at your phone.
"And it still works?", he asks, a little incredulously.
"Yep", you smile - for the first time, you realise, since the tornado. "It's waterproof."
More because you'd been scared you'd drop the love of your life into the pool or the ocean on vacation, but a tornado in the middle of Oklahoma worked as well. At least you now knew you'd spent your money wisely.
"Smart", he grins. You can't help but grin right back.
He's charming and he's respectful and he looks so goddamn good.
"Who's Lilly?", you ask then, because that had been the second thing you'd wanted to say. He hesitates for a half a moment.
"A friend", he says. You squint at him. He doesn't look like he's lying, but he does look like there's something you don't know about. God, if he turns out to be a cheater- "I'll introduce you if you'd like."
You raise your eyebrows. Alright, so not a cheater. And, if you're interpreting correctly, another invitation to come with him. Not that you'd been about to refuse the first one.
"Sure", you say, as casually as you can. "I didn't really feel like standing around half-naked on the street anyway."
...
A few minutes later, he's driving his weird car/truck with the screws on the bottom down the empty highway. Though 'empty' is the wrong description, really - here and there, trees, road signs and utility poles are scattered on the pavement.
You're driving in silence. Well, silence as in neither of you talks, not as in actual silence. Alongside the motor, the radio had turned on, playing one country song after the other.
"You never told me your name", the guy says suddenly. The very much stranger, who's very much right - you'd never told him your name.
"You never told me yours", you counter, because that's also the truth. He'd never told you his name. You knew his friend's name, but not his.
"Didn't think I'd have to", he mutters under his breath, so quietly you barely catch it. "It's Tyler. Tyler Owens?"
He says it like it's a question. You don't know why. So instead you just answer with your own name and Tyler, as you'd come to know, repeats it with a smile on his lips.
God, you don't think it's ever sounded that good.
"Pretty name", he says, all casual like that doesn't get your heart racing again. Pretty. He'd called you pretty. Almost unconsciously, you brush your hands through your hair.
"Thank you", you mutter. As if to distract yourself, you add: "So, Tyler, what do you do?"
...
Exactly half an hour later, Tyler takes your hand in his and helps you out of his car. His house - the one he's sharing with Lilly, you'd found out, with Lilly and the rest of his Tornado Wranglers - is big and inviting. It's a little way off from any other houses, which you personally think is quite nice. Not that you say that, though.
Tyler walks you inside without having to unlock the door. He takes two steps, then he calls out "Guys, we've got a guest", which immediately results in a surprised shout of "whoops" and the sound of a set of feet scurrying up the stairs. Tyler has barely pulled off his shoes (after politely asking you to wait just a second) when a head pops through the doorframe at the end of the hallway.
"Boone was naked", the woman grins before settling her eyes on you and throwing you a wave. "Hey there, I'm Lilly."
She glances down at your bare legs.
"A little cold there?", she asks and even though her words are sarcastic, her voice is anything but.
"A little", you answer truthfully, smiling at her as she steps out into the hallway.
"You want a pair of pants?", she asks, seemingly without giving a single thought to who you are or why you're standing half-naked in her hallway.
You glance at Tyler, but he's grinning and only shrugs at you, so you turn back to Lilly and nod at her. She seems sweet, really sweet, and very kind. She takes you with her to her room (up two sets of stairs, the fucking house has three floors and a basement) and shows you her closet, the very definition of unbothered even as you nervously rummage through her clothes.
"Hey, you can take a shirt too, if you want", she says, flopping down onto her bed and rolling onto her side to look at you.
"Oh", you let out and glance down at the shirt you're wearing - Tyler's shirt, that very country, checkered shirt that's way too big for you. "I'm fine, thanks."
Honestly, if it were up to you, you would never wear anything else ever again. Tyler's shirt is soft and comfortable and - most importantly - it smells like him. You really just want to tug the hem up to your nose and breathe in his scent (but that would be weird, so you don't).
"Alright", Lilly drawls. "Your choice."
...
Lilly shows you the bathroom, gives you the wifi password and tells you to come down whenever you feel like it. You realise half a second too late that you haven't told her your name yet and crack open the bathroom door to call out for her.
Honestly, you like her. You really like her. And you really like Tyler, too. He's handsome and he smells good and he's respectful and he's nice and he saved your fucking life today. You don't even want to think about what would have happened to you if he hadn't driven by.
In the bathroom is the first time you can really breathe. You throw some water at your face and blowdry your hair. Ten minutes later, you're walking down the stairs into the hallway again - this time, when you stroll through there, you're wearing comfortable pants, fuzzy socks and take your time to look around.
You'd already called your parents back in the car with Tyler. They'd been about as shocked as you'd expected, had needed a few minutes to even understand just what you were telling them, but then they'd offered to come pick you up immediately. Tyler had provided them his address and now here you are - knocking at the open door to the kitchen, where all of the Tornado Wranglers sit around the table. All of them, except for Tyler, who's leaning against the countertop and looks up at you with a grin when you step in.
"Hey there", he drawls, his eyes raking down your body once more today - you've tucked his shirt into Lilly's pants and you could swear his eyes linger on your waist. "Warm and dry?"
"Very", you grin back, then nod at Lilly. "Thanks again."
She shakes her head and waves you off.
"Hey, no big deal. Do you want some pasta?"
...
It's comfortable there, in the kitchen of these strangers who are feeding you pasta and lending you clothes. You've settled onto the countertop next to Tyler and now and then, when you're dangling your feet or he's taking a bite, your legs graze his arm. He's changed into dry clothes too, you realise as you brush against him for the first time, and he's even warmer now than before.
"Tyler's told us all about you", Boone says after a few minutes of easy conversation. You raise your eyebrows and turn your head, staring at Tyler from the side.
"Has he?", you ask, because you hadn't even told him enough about yourself to warrant any use of the word 'all'. Sure, you'd talked on the ride here - but mostly about him, because - as it had turned out - what Tyler Owens did wasn't a normal job like doctor or lawyer, but instead professional Tornado Wrangler. Which, of course, had then dominated the conversation for the rest of the drive.
"Yeah, like how you were driving to you parents and didn't know what to do in a tornado so you just kept on driving", Boone grins, scraping the rest of his pasta off his plate. "And how he made you go in that ditch and-"
"Alright, shut up, Boone", Tyler interrupts, even though there's no real malice behind his words. "She knows the story. She's in it."
"I'm just saying", Boone goes on, entirely undeterred as he puts his now empty plate down on the kitchen table. "If you'd filmed that, it would go viral for sure."
You have to snort at that.
"Yeah, because of all the indecent exposure."
...
When your mother rings the doorbell three hours later, you're in the middle of the second round of a boardgame Dexter had pulled from a drawer. You'd been paired with Tyler for the first round and - somehow not surprisingly - that had worked quite well. You'd won just so against Dexter and Dani (Lilly and Boone hadn't been too much competition) and Dani's "We never get to play this right 'cuz we're always five people" after Tyler had high-fived you with a victorious cheer had warmed your heart. At least they'd enjoyed themselves - at least you hadn't been a burden.
"I call dibs on her", Lilly had declared when the second round had begun, so Tyler had teamed up with Boone instead.
"Oh, oh, botany!", you call out, just as the doorbell finally rings. Lilly jumps up and high-fives you.
"How in the hell did you guess that?", Dani asks, sounding all but exasperated at this point as Tyler pushes out of his seat and walks towards the front door. You shrug.
"Pure talent", you joke, then you climb off the couch as well. "Alright, it was so nice meeting you all, but I think my taxi's out front."
They all hug you goodbye and tell you to come around again anytime - Boone even hands you one of those t-shirts Tyler had told you about in the car. You can hardly hold back a snort. Though Tyler had told you about the shirts existing, yes, he must have accidentally forgotten to mention that his goddamn face is printed on them, paired with the very... comedic phrase "Not My First Tornadeo".
You thread through the hallway with the shirt and your phone in your hands, only to be hit with the sight of Tyler hugging your mother on the doorstep. Or your mother hugging Tyler, more like. Either way, you're suddenly frozen in place.
But then your mother opens her eyes and sees you standing there and she lets go of Tyler with a sharp cry to come running at you instead. She throws her arms around you with so much vigor you're almost knocked off your feet. You meet Tyler's eyes over her shoulder - crinkled with lines of laughter as he smiles at you. Your eyes dart away again just as quickly.
"It's fine, mom, I'm okay", you reassure.
"Yeah, thanks to Tyler", she mutters into your hair. "I already told him we'll pay him whatever he wants for saving our daughter."
"And I already said I don't want any money", Tyler clarifies.
...
The next morning, you wake up comfortably late in a warm bed. You walk down the stairs in fuzzy socks and start the day with a simple cup of tea.
A simple cup of tea and Tyler Owens' YouTube channel.
You'd looked him and his Tornado Wranglers up the very second you'd sat down in your mother's car. Then you'd subscribed to every channel you could find. And then... you'd kind of got obsessed. You'd watched so many of their videos that by one am, you'd simply fallen asleep to one of them.
"Aunt May's gonna be here in half an hour", your mother informs you casually, a stack of plates in her hands as she rummages around in the kitchen. You're still sitting at the table in your pajamas, a spoonful of cereal in your mouth, your phone propped up against a water bottle in front of you, playing a Tornado Wranglers video from a year ago.
"Seriously?", you get out, chewing on your cereal before you can swallow it down. "Mom, I still have to shower and get ready and all."
She throws you one of those eyebrows-raised glances that immediately let you know she's judging you for something.
"We only let you sleep this long because you almost died yesterday", she says matter-of-factly, then she eyes your phone. "And if you weren't watching Tyler's videos so obsessively, you would be done by now."
"Really, mom?"
You let out a resigned sigh. She only shrugs and grins at you. She's a little bit right, anyway.
"He's good-looking, I get it", she says, then she strolls out of the kitchen, chuckling to herself while you curse at her. He is good-looking, fuck this. You need to get it together before the rest of your extended family arrives.
...
The doorbell rings for the umpteenth time that day, just as you step out of the bathroom and smooth down the front of the red-checkered shirt you're wearing. You call some version of "I got it", down the hallway, not too sure if anyone even hears - they're all in the backyard anyway. Then you open the door with a smile on your face, a smile that instantly pulls into a wide grin when you see just who's standing there.
Because it's not another aunt or uncle or cousin. It's no one in your family, not even close.
It's Tyler.
Tyler Owens.
"Hi", he says. Just that. Hi.
You lean against the open door and cross your arms. Your grin only grows.
"Hi", you echo.
His eyes rake down your body and it seems like whatever he'd wanted to say gets stuck in his throat as he realises that the shirt you're wearing isn't your shirt, really. You can't help but bite down on your lip.
Look, you hadn't expected this. You hadn't expected him. None of this was a scheme or a plan or anything even close. You'd just seen it lying there this morning, right next to Lilly's pants on your desk, and you hadn't been able to help yourself. It smelled so fucking good.
"Nice shirt", he grins, eyes snapping back up to yours.
"Thanks", you grin back. "I got it from this guy after he saved me from dying in a tornado yesterday."
Tyler chuckles.
"Seems like a great guy."
"So great", you agree. "Even though he prints his face on t-shirts."
Tyler is just about to retort something - all toothy grins and laughter lines - when your mother calls out his name, very obviously pleasantly surprised as she comes down the hallway. She smiles at him, big and wide.
"What are you doing here?", she asks, stopping next to you to ask the very question that had been on the tip of your tongue too when you'd opened up the door.
"Oh, I'm just bringing these back", he says and holds up his hand to show a stack of neatly folded clothes with your bra right on top. You have to bite down on your cheeks to stop from outright grinning.
Okay, so even if wearing his shirt hadn't been a scheme, and even if you hadn't expected to see him... You might just have done something to ensure you would see him again. But hey, he's about the most handsome man you've ever laid your eyes on, you'd be damned if you'd have to watch him on the screen of your phone for the rest of your life. So yeah, you may have accidentally 'forgotten' your wet clothes in his bathroom after you'd hung them over the heater to dry. You just hadn't thought he'd find them so quickly.
"And you drove four hours for that?", your mother asks, more baffled than you are. Tyler only shrugs. Your mother reaches out for your clothes, grabs them from him and puts them on the cupboard in the hallway. Then she looks at him.
"You're coming in, yes? We're having barbecue now and cake in a bit. I'm not letting you drive four hours here just to deliver her clothes."
...
Twenty minutes later is when you get Tyler alone for the first time. Your mother has schlepped him with you through the whole garden and introduced him to every single person there - "He's the guy who saved her yesterday!" (because, obviously, your story had been about the only topic anyone had talked about so far) - your father first and foremost, who hugs Tyler so tightly that for a moment you're afraid he'll break him.
You catch up with Tyler just as he finishes loading his plate with food, finally on his own after your mother has excused herself to go cut up more bread.
"How'd you find me?", you ask, sipping at your ice-cold coke and eyeing him up. It's the one question that had been burning in your mind for the past twenty minutes. How in the hell had he managed to find you? It's not like you'd left a note with your address next to your clothes (though in hindsight, you don't remember how you'd meant for him to bring them back to you).
He looks almost bashful for a second.
"Boone noticed you'd followed our account", he explains then. "He figured out your last name from your handle and searched the phone book of the city on your mom's license plate. And then he read out all the names until I recognised your mom's because she'd introduced herself to me yesterday."
Your eyebrows raise, further and further the more he speaks. You swallow. Silence falls for a second, then two.
"You know, some people would call that creepy", you say, but your lips tug up into an involuntary grin that gives away more quickly than you'd wanted that you aren't one of those people. Tyler grins right back at you.
"Personally I think it would've been more creepy if I'd kept your bra."
...
It's 9:20 when your mother comes over. You've long since switched from barbecue to cake, then to snacks. Your feet are tucked underneath Tyler's legs, propped up against the side of his garden chair and he's running his fingers up and down your calves.
You'd spent the afternoon chatting away and laughing, barely talking to anyone but him. Your 'family get-together' had turned into more of a date. You certainly aren't about to complain, though.
"Tyler, you're staying the night, right?", your mother asks, a fresh plate of chips in her hands that she puts next to the almost empty one on the table in front of you.
"I don't want to overstay my welcome", he says, all gentlemanly even as your mother rests her hands against her hips and stares him down.
"Young man, you're welcome in this house any time, for however long. I'm not letting you drive home four hours. You're staying the night." Then she points at you. "She's still got a couch in her room that you can sleep on. I'd offer you a guest room, but half the family's staying here and we're already out of air mattresses."
So an hour later, you're rummaging about your room, picking up clothes off the couch and stuffing them in your closet to make room for Tyler. He's leaning against your doorway, looking around, taking in the mess that is your childhood bedroom.
"Nice posters", he says, and you throw him a look over your shoulder that could be deadly. He's grinning all sarcastic, only chuckling as his eyes meet yours. "You could put up one of my shirts here."
You have to snort at that and before you can even really think about it, you've pulled the shirt Boone had given you yesterday from where you'd put it down on your desk. You throw it at him carelessly and he catches it with no effort at all, which - paired with that fucking grin - shouldn't be as attractive as it turns out to be.
"Knock yourself out", you say, then you turn back around to your closet and tug out bedsheets for him. "My old poster glue should be in one of the desk drawers."
You don't think he'll seriously do it, but you seem to have misjudged him. Badly. Because he gets to work immediately.
You watch him for a few stunned seconds before you decide to just leave him to it. So while you turn the couch into a makeshift bed for him, he glues that goddamn "Not My First Tornadeo" shirt to your wall.
"Fits perfectly if you ask me", he declares eventually, barely concealing the amusement dripping from his words. You smooth down his sheets before you look up at your wall. He's put the shirt up in one of the few empty spots, right between your Maroon 5 and Destiny's Child posters.
"Yeah", you snort. "Perfectly."
You give him a toothbrush and let him use your bathroom. While he's gone, you change into your pajamas, fold his shirt carefully and put it on a pile with Lilly's pants and her socks. Honestly, a little part of you already mourns the loss of it - but another part of you already has hope for another shirt. Maybe in a different context.
"What're you doing?", Tyler asks, shutting the bathroom door behind him. You don't look up as you fold the other clothes you'd thrown onto your desk yesterday.
"I put Lilly's things and your shirt there, you can take it back tomorrow", you explain, starting a second pile of your own clothes next to his.
"Keep my shirt", he says. That finally makes you look up at him.
Which isn't a good idea. Not at all. Because he's standing there in nothing but his briefs and good fucking lord-
You'd known he's handsome. You'd known he's broad. But you hadn't known he's fucking ripped. You shouldn't stare. You're very aware. You definitely shouldn't stare. It's incredibly rude to stare. It's very inappropriate to stare. But goddamn, this man is built so perfectly god himself must be jealous.
You have to forcibly blink yourself back to reality. You're definitely red in the face when you finally manage to meet his eyes again. And he's raised his eyebrows in a way that tells you he's reading your every emotion right off your face.
"Sorry, come again?", you croak out, brushing your hand through your hair and realising just a second too late that your eyes have travelled down too far again.
"I said you should keep my shirt", he repeats, a very, very obvious grin on his lips. "It looks better on you."
"Okay", you agree, a little too quickly. The heat in your cheeks comes from more than just the half-naked view of him now. He thinks his shirt looks better on you. You don't even care if that's a line. "I'll... I'll go brush my teeth real quick."
When you come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, Tyler has made himself comfortable on your couch. It's a little too small for him, you realise, but he doesn't seem bothered. He's pulled the covers up to his hips - you can still stare at his chest, to your delight. And he's put one hand under his head, flexing his bicep in a way that has you hurrying over to your own bed so you won't jump him right then and there.
"Alright, goodnight, Tyler", you breathe, adjusting your pillow and wrapping your blanket around your body as if grabbing at it will somehow ground you.
"Goodnight", he echoes, and then you turn off the light.
It's quiet. The only noise is the laughter of your family a floor below, all settling into bed themselves. It's quiet and it's dark.
And you're staring wide-eyed at absolutely nothing.
Oh, god. He's so fucking hot. He's so fucking hot you want to throw yourself out of the window. He's so fucking hot and he's on your fucking couch, barely ten feet from you. He's so fucking hot and he'd driven four hours here just to bring your clothes.
"Tyler", you say, barely two minutes after you'd turned the light off. He hums in response - still awake. You don't know what you'd expected. "Thanks again. For, you know, for everything."
"Anytime", he replies, and even though you can't see his grin, you imagine you can hear it. You nod into your pillow. Then silence falls again.
It lasts maybe another two minutes.
"Your family's nice", he says then. You can't help but smile.
"Thanks", you mutter.
"I like your mother", he says. Your smile only grows. You turn onto your back and stare at the dark ceiling.
"She likes you too."
It's the truth.
Tyler stays quiet. You don't even try to close your eyes this time - you can hear him breathe, deep and relaxed. It's calming. You're sure it could lull you to sleep. If you were anywhere near tired, that is. This way, you just blink at black nothingness.
"Were you really a Destiny's Child fan?", Tyler asks eventually, his sheets rustling.
"Yep", you say.
That's it for that conversation.
You don't know what it is, the darkness or the silence, but something pushes on your chest and weighs you down, warming your skin as it settles on your body. It's a tension, thick and heavy, one that had grown with every scrap of conversation.
"You know-", he starts again, but this time, you've got enough.
"Tyler", you interrupt, turning onto your side and pulling your covers with you. "Get up here."
You can't see him as he throws his bedsheets off himself, can't watch as he heaves himself up, can't look at him as he strides over to your bed - but you hear the rustling of his covers, you hear the couch creaking, you hear his steps on the floorboards. And you feel the mattress dipping when he finally sets his knees on your bed.
You don't wait until he's actually in there. You don't think you could possibly wait until he is. You just push yourself up, grab onto the first part of him you can get your hands on (his shoulders), cup his face in your palms and pull him into you.
Right into your kiss.
Tyler Owens kisses you for the first time in the darkness of your childhood bedroom. For the second time in the morning light in your bed. For the third time in your parent's kitchen, right as your mother walks in. For the fourth time in his truck, after your parents all but throw you out of their house and force you to go home with him. For the fifth time in front of his own house, where his crew watches through the window.
And after that, Tyler Owens loses count of just how often he kisses you. Because he kisses you every day for the rest of his life.
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lokissweater · 22 days ago
Text
beetlejuice!
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{beetlejuice!satoru gojo x f!reader}
— “ may you never forget me ” ♪ ༘⋆
summary: living as a psychic medium was like a ticket straight to nothing in your life, you always accidentally creeping people out and scaring them when you talked about it, and you just feeling empty— like something was missing and vacant in your life with no explanation as to why. but upon stumbling through an attic inside a house of a recently deceased couple, you meet him— beetlejuice, a silly and wacky man who was damned to live in the attic for eternity due to him breaking the rules, you never having met a spirit so forward and flirtatious in your life as you quickly bonded. but when beetlejuice presents the idea of you being able to break his contract and finally set him free, you hesitate at the one condition… marrying him.
warnings: MDNI afab!reader, DIABOLICAL angst my god, angst w/ comfort though YIPPEEE, mentions of death, mentions of murder, reader is a psychic medium, fluuufff, SMUUUTTT, p in v sex, DOM AFF SATORU MEOOWWW, unprotected sex (wrap it y’all), creampie, oral, blowie, mentions of ghosts and spirits and things, loosely inspired by the 80s movie, mentions of reader having ‘pink cheeks’ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.8k
authors note: YEEEEEOOOOWWWW GET READY YALL….. SHES FREAKY… SHES ANGSTY… AND SHES THE MOMEEEENNTTTT omg i absolutely LOOOVEDDD writing this one so much and i hope you guys find it interesting or i’m gonna CRYYYY HEHEHEH no i’m jk but as always, i love you SO SO SO much and thank you for all of your love and support !! MWAAAHHH <333
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you’ve always had a knack for the paranormal.
and from the newspaper clippings you saw and the meddlesome whisperings of your fellow neighbors, newlyweds adam and barbara maitland died on their way home from a day out in the town— swerving in their vehicle while crossing over a bridge and crashing through the side of it, evidently sending themselves tumbling down to the river below and drowning.
it was the biggest tragedy your tiny town had ever been hit with, the maitland’s having renovated their house on the hill from scratch and had recently just finished it when the accident happened, the both of them in the midst of planning their honeymoon to get away from winter river for a little while, happy and in love and looking forward to a quiet serene life together.
it was a shame, really, and it only took two weeks for rumors to spread about how there were always weird moving shadows from the windows of their two story home, or slight flashings of neon blue or white seeping through the cracks of their front door— all of which pissed the realtors off seeing as the rumors prevented the house from being sold again, prospected buyers coming in with high hopes only to be scared off once they so even explored the town, a store clerk or a fellow neighbor quick to tell them of the gossip and to stay away, ultimately causing the house to collect dust and cobwebs until realtors decided they wouldn’t bother much with it anymore.
and the rumors always peaked your interest, as your entire life you’ve always had a passion for the supernatural seeing as your late parents were psychic mediums for the otherworldly, a beautiful ominous gift that was relayed to you from the moment you were able to correctly comprehend sentences, your mind and soul more welcoming to spirits of the unknown compared to regular folk who flat out refused.
and why? you didn’t know. they were just mystic entities that perhaps couldn’t find their way to the other side like they were intended, and if the rumors were true, the maitland’s were in the same predicament, and you felt like they just needed time and space without the pestering of realtors or dumb kids knocking on the windows to see if a ghost would pop out— deserving of a proper chance to figure it out.
except your boyfriend wouldn’t understand that either.
“babe c’mon!” he pleaded with you, a distressed look on his face. “i thought you liked creepy ghost shit?”
you scoffed. “yes rin but not to fucking break in and steal their things! what the hell’s the matter with you?!”
rin groaned and rubbed his eyes, his friends obviously annoyed and bothered by your defiance and it only made you feel awkward, sitting there on your desk chair in your college dorm and guiltily picking at your black nail polish.
“y/n we literally cannot go if you don’t go.” he pushed. “we need your ghost brain to tell us if they’re around so we can scram if they decide to kill us.”
you snorted, already aggravated by rin’s lack of respect and wholeheartedly believing dumb stereotypes.
“you’re committing a crime—”
“the house is abandoned! no one gives a shit!” he threw his arms up. “babe c’mon i’m serious it’s getting late and we’re losing time.”
why wasn’t he listening?
“what are you looking for anyways?” you mumbled.
“money.” he replied, grabbing his black bag and swinging it over his shoulder. “that’s literally it i won’t take anything else.”
“do you swear?” you peered up at him. “don’t take jewelry or any of their things just money and we get out.”
“yeah we won’t! right guys?”
rin looked over both of his shoulders to ensure that his friends agreed, them muttering and sighing as you gnawed at the inside of your cheek and feeling embarrassed for some reason, slowly standing and crossing your arms.
you never liked his friends.
“and leave me out of it okay?” you spoke. “we could get kicked out of college for this i don’t know how you’re not worried…”
he swung a heavy arm around your shoulders and nudged you on, you stumbling a bit as he basically had a lock around your neck on your way outside.
“they’re not gonna care y/n.” he dismissed, unlocking the car and his friends piling in the back while you settled in the passenger seat. “nobody will. it’s abandoned.”
the entire way there you were aggravated and guilty, rin and his friends babbling on about the valuable things they’d hope to find and the kind of ghosts they thought would appear, not a single person in the car an actual believer of those paranormal rumors as they poked fun and teased, your forehead against the glass of the window and miserable as rin drove up the steep hill— the night chilly and so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the house until you were just about to pull up to the driveway.
rin turned off his headlights and tuned down the radio to avoid drawing attention, steering wheel shifting a little to the right so the car could gradually round over and stop next to the front steps of the porch— rin shutting off the ignition once he parked and stuffing his keys into his pocket.
and you could immediately feel a presence even from outside the house, your arms stiff and tingly as you all quietly got out of the car and made your way to the stairs, dry dirt crinkling beneath your shoes as you tried to swallow back your nerves knowing that at any moment you could all be fucking arrested.
“are you sensing ghosts?” rin whispered, a sly teasing grin on his face as the floorboards of the porch creaked with your movements, his hand reaching and jiggling the doorknob.
“yeah.”
his eyes snapped over to you. “…really? yeah right.”
“no i’m serious.” you whispered back. “what did you bring me for if you’re not even gonna believe when i tell you—”
“okay! okay i’m sorry.” he apologized, though it didn’t seem genuine as he patted your back. “i believe you trust me.”
“wait— she said there’s ghosts?” one of his friends piped up. “how do you know?”
you went to answer but rin beat you to it.
“she’s a psychic… i guess.” he unzipped his bag and pulled out a mini tool kit, a mix of screwdrivers and bobby pins inside. “she can sense them.”
“oh my god…” another one mumbled, all of his friends eerie now. “rin— i thought you said those rumors were bullshit.”
your eyes narrowed. “you said that?”
“no!— i mean, technically yes but—” he took two bobby pins from the kit and put the rest of the box away, hunching down to lock pick the knob. “you guys really think any of that is real? it’s just the neighbors man they’re bored—”
“people here don’t just make up rumors like that rin.” you cut him off. “the majority of winter river is elderly and in retirement why the fuck would they be making up—”
“because they’re old and bored—”
the lock released a prominent click and rin tested the doorknob again, this time it turning all the way and opening as he pushed it wide, you all proceeding cautiously and it somehow being colder inside than it was outside as the group shined their flashlights around every corner and space, not bothering to tell your boyfriend that the presence you felt earlier was ten times stronger now, for rin never really believed you or just thought you were being funny whenever you mentioned things like that to him.
you had known rin since the start of college, him always the rebel dickish type as he didn’t follow directions or liked whenever people tried to tell him what to do, and how you ended up crossing paths with him and it sticking was something that was a mystery to you.
rin was everything you wanted at first.
and though he was a bit selfish, you foolishly looked past the fact and let him meddle his way into your already monotonous life, it being hard for you to make friends in the first place because of your psychic abilities— always feeling like something was missing and… vacant for years growing up without any explanation as to exactly why, figuring it was just the side effects of your parents’ passing.
but it still didn’t help when you’d accidentally partake in scaring off and weirding people out when you mentioned that you just saw their deceased relative wander by, rin being one of the first to actually stay because he didn’t believe you, choosing to turn a blind eye to something you treasured about yourself the most, stuck and left to wonder if there was ever someone who did.
but turning a blind eye to just your psychic ability became him turning a blind eye to everything about you, and you felt like he never really listened to what you had to say or cared, often switching the topic back to himself or giving you a series of ‘mhm’s’ and ‘yeah’s’ to get you to move on.
you didn’t feel seen anymore, but you loved him still for some reason.
“where do we even look?” one of his friends whispered, the lot of you traveling as a group through the entry room and down the hall to the kitchen.
“wherever you think a money bank would be.” rin mumbled, leading you all and going round to the living room, his flashlight shining over dusty furniture and spiderwebs. “i think it’d be better if we split up. half of us can take upstairs and the others can look through the kitchen, y/n and i are gonna dig through here for a bit—”
“what?” you spoke, his friends nodding and walking off to their designated areas. “rin no i told you i’m not—”
“oh my god babe— would it really hurt you to just peek in some freaking drawers? let me know if something looks like it has money in it alright?”
he stepped over to the middle and crouched by the coffee table, opening and closing several compartments. “be useful please.”
you scoffed. “you’re the one who dragged me here and i told you i wasn’t getting involved.”
“you’re not.” he mumbled, standing back up and going over to a big brown dresser on the side. “just look at shit and don’t touch anything. tell me if you see money.”
you rubbed your cheek in exhausted frustration, thinking it’d be better to just mindlessly look around to appease him as you caught and stared at the photographs over by the fireplace— a wedding portrait of whom you assumed to be adam and barbara maitland propped up amongst others of family and friends, your fingers raising to gently wipe away the dirt and grime from the glass to get a clearer look of them.
you felt awful that their lives were taken from them just when they had built such a loving foundation for it, and you felt even more awful that rin and his stupid friends were invading their space and stealing in the way that they were with no sense of respect.
a sudden loud thud from upstairs made you and rin stop in your tracks, the both of you unmoving as you tried to listen.
“i’m gonna—” you gnawed at your bottom lip. “i’m gonna check upstairs—”
“no absolutely not.” rin shook his head. “it’s probably just my friends it’s fine.”
“if it’s the maitland’s your friends aren’t gonna know what to do besides shit themselves—”
“okay yeah sure.” he laughed, opening and closing different drawers from top to bottom. “it’s the house babe it’s old and worn out. maybe the— wood or whatever is acting up.”
you pursed your lips, arms crossing and apprehensive as you stood next to him, knowing with everything in you that the maitland’s were definitely still present.
“can we please just go rin...” you asked softly. “please we’ll— we’ll find a different building that’s actually abandoned and doesn’t have the maitland’s still here—”
he scoffed. “y/n this one is abandoned.“
“but it’s only been three months!” you exclaimed. “i don’t wanna do this to them—”
“—oh sweet! there’s a rolex in here—”
“no!” you snatched the watch from his upheld hand and backed away towards the fireplace. “you swore to me just money these are their things—”
“y/n they’re dead! who fucking cares? all of their shit’s gonna be donated might as well pawn it.”
“yeah for your own benefit right?” you mumbled, pushing past him and walking down the hall. “i’m going home.”
he looked at you baffled. “are you serious? over a dumb watch?”
“rin you’ve gone back on everything you promised and you’re not taking me seriously—”
“did i take the watch? no i didn’t so stop—”
“i’m not talking about just the watch!”
“you know what?! fine!” rin shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys, chucking them at you and hitting against your chest as you scrambled to catch them. “go wait in the car.”
you threw them back and they hit his upper arm, his eyes narrowing at you in return as he then bent down to grab them from the floor.
“i’m not waiting in the damn car i’m walking home.”
“you’re walking?” he shook his head. “back to your dorm? that’s gonna take you like an hour y/n.”
you shrugged.
“fine go i don’t give a shit.” rin muttered and rolled his eyes. “you always do this man—”
you didn’t bother to stick around for anything else he had to say as you trudged on down the hall and back to the main entryway, tears brimming your eyes at the lack of care he had for you and scolding yourself for the thousandth time for staying with him, trying to understand why he was like this with you when all you’ve ever done was be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t fucking deserve it.
it was hard for you to tell if he even loved you anymore, and you always psyched yourself out that he did whenever he’d barely just accomplish doing the bare minimum.
upon arriving at the front door, you placed the rolex gently on a lonesome night stand by the coat hanger, your hand reaching and turning the knob to step outside until another loud thud shook through the walls, and louder this time as you pulled back and craned your head to look up the stairs.
muffled voices seeped from the top as they gasped and whispered to each other to shush, you recognizing some to be rin’s friends with irritation and worry simmering in your brain, wondering if they were messing with the maitland’s things and stealing what they weren’t supposed to steal, as they were just as uncaring and selfish as rin was throughout the time that you’ve gotten to know them.
and with that in mind, you let go of the doorknob and quietly walked up the stairs, every creak and groan from the wooden slabs underneath your feet making you wince as you went further and further until you reached the top, you sighing as you saw that the maitland’s room door was wide fucking open and with snickering inside.
but with each step that you took to get closer… the more prominent the goosebumps on your arms became and the heavier the feeling in your gut grew, a strange apparent flickering light from your right blinding your vision for a moment as you stopped and turned to look.
your eyes slightly widened, a neon lime green foggy light practically oozing from the attic staircase as it streamed over half of your frame, luring you in with your body mindlessly and curiously walking towards it and up the rugged squeaky stairs, fingers quickly reaching up to swing the attic door open and halting in alarm once you did, the green aluminous light from earlier completely encasing you entirely now as you stepped forward inside the attic.
the door swung and slammed itself shut suddenly, you jumping and spinning around with hurried hands coming up to pull and tug at the knob, breathing irregular upon realizing that it wouldn’t fucking budge and was somehow jammed with no explanation as to exactly how—
“boyfriend troubles?”
“oh my god!” you screamed, hand flying over your heart as your eyes snapped to the source, a tall lanky man standing there with a little grin and vibrant pale blue eyes that only utterly confused you, his vertically stripped black and white suit peculiar and unique as your frantic eyes darted over his figure.
you knew for a fact that the strange man before you wasn’t adam maitland, for the way he looked now didn’t match the pictures you saw in the newspapers at all, you swallowing thickly and slowly backing up against the attic door with your heart dropping straight down to your ass.
who the fuck was he? was he— was he a spirit? because if not there’s a random man literally just basking and relaxing inside the—
“relax! relax jeez you look like you’re about to vomit sweets.”
sweets?
“are you dead?!” you blurted, hand scrambling behind you for the doorknob. “are you— are you alive how are you—”
he laughed loudly and wiggled his little index finger— scrunching it up and down to elicit a ‘yes’ and finding your skittishness a little funny.
“yup! so dead very dead.”
“o— oh… okay...” you spoke softly, tense shoulders gradually relaxing as you gave him a small timid smile, relieved that he wasn’t a freaking squatter and doing god knows what up in the attic.
“you seem happier to see a dead man rather than a live one...” he looked at you amusedly. “you like ghosts? scary stuff? haunted houses? handsome me?—”
you nearly choked on your spit at his last comment, an awkward smile wobbling across your face as you played with your fingers.
“i— i um..” you looked around, your eyes catching a book titled ‘handbook for the recently deceased’ sitting neatly on a dusty table by the door. “you could say that.. but—”
you hesitated, the man’s head tilting to the side as he waited for you to continue.
“but what pretty?”
you blushed furiously, never having met a spirit so forward before.
“sorry but— how did you end up here?” you stood on your tippy toes to peer over his shoulders and around the attic. “and where are the maitlands?”
“oh, those lousy goodie two shoed meanies?” he mumbled, pouting and bitter as he crossed his arms. “beats me..”
you laughed a little, guard slowly coming down as he didn’t seem or feel like a bad person to you, and you thought that perhaps he was in the same boat as the maitlands and was just trying to find his way to the other side.
“why are they meanies?” you smiled, and he reciprocated, arms falling to his sides.
“well— i’m kind of being held in the attic against my will by the— holy shit wait!”
he threw his hands out in front of him and took quick stride full steps towards you, a wild excited expression on his face and you stiffening up again, backing up against the door.
“you can help me!”
“help… you..?” you squeaked.
he vigorously nodded. “yeah! the butthead caseworkers down in the netherworld banned me from leaving the attic… but you can give me a little leg room in my contract sweets!”
netherworld— caseworkers— banned—
“huh?!” you exclaimed, brows furrowed and utterly confused at everything he was fucking saying.
you’ve only ever seen spirits from afar or casually talked to them about something fleeting before they went on their marry way, but never in your life have you met such a complex soul that was so animate and asking you for a favor straight off the bat… as spirits usually just— knew what they were doing and eventually figured out how to get to the great beyond.
so the subject of caseworkers and the netherworld and whatever the fuck else he was rambling on about was something you were not familiar with.
“i did something they didn’t like.” he gave you a boyish half smile. “so they did some ritual thing and now i can’t leave the attic.”
you frowned. “why would they do that? what did you do?”
he waved you off and swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you forward with him towards a huge 3D model in the center of the room that you barely just noticed— intricate and detailed and colorful as your brain put two and two together and figured out that it was a model of the entire city of winter river.
“don’t worry about it! but i overheard juno telling her assistants not to say my name three times or else i’ll be let out to roam around the house—”
juno? who’s juno?
“—and that’s why i really need you sweets because i’m dying in this fucking attic… way more than i already am.”
you blinked at him. “i’ve never— i’ve seen spirits all my life and i’ve never had any of them tell me about caseworkers? and juno? who’s juno?”
“the rule is that the land of the living isn’t supposed to know.” he pursed his lips and dropped his arm from your shoulders, picking up the book that you had spotted earlier and passing it to you. “says it in the handbook.”
you timidly took it from him and flittered through the pages, old and crinkly and a little worn out as the gist of the pages you saw was a guide for those beginning their post-livelihood and the steps they needed to do so— from waiting rooms in the netherworld to being assigned a caseworker to help you out to the great beyond and so forth, your eyes falling on a particular page and catching specific line.
‘live people ignore the strange and unusual.’
they do. wrongfully they do.
and since people had been ignoring you out of fear your whole life… did that mean you were strange and unusual too?
“what?” the unknown man spoke, softly as his blue gaze switched between your solemn expression and the book, shifting his position to stand right next to you and see what you were looking at.
“oh sorry!” you laughed it off, closing the book and placing it down. “nothing i was just—”
“‘live people ignore the strange and unusual?’” he repeated. “what about it?”
you shook your head and sent him a small smile. “nothing! i was just looking—”
“just because you can see spirits doesn’t mean you’re strange or unusual.”
you stilled, eyes big as you watched the way he froze up over what he said, sheepishly relaxing after a moment and lifting an arm to pat over your head.
“sorry pretty. i can read and manipulate minds and i poked in yours...” he looked at you apologetically. “it’s another reason why they threw me in this shit hole.”
he dropped his hand then, a sincere glint in his eyes. “but i mean it.”
“i don’t know…” you mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt. “i’ve never really had friends because of it… and i feel like that book kind of confirmed what i’ve been thinking.”
you quickly picked your head up. “oh but— it’s okay! i’m okay i’m used to it spirits are nicer anyways and i’ve always been alone so—”
“that’s not true.” he mumbled.
your brows furrowed. “what do you mean?”
he funnily froze up again. “what do i mean what?”
“what’s not true?”
“oh! that— that spirits are nicer!” he quickly sputtered. “they’re assholes. all of them. every single one. including me!”
you giggled at his franticness and a smile spread across his face at that, endearing as he watched you slowly cheer up.
“people’s ignorance doesn’t define who you are sweets.” he spoke gently. “so don’t give them that right. you look perfectly fine to me!”
your eyes softened, wondering what the hell this man did that made the caseworkers down in the netherworld ritual him into a contract, as you were convinced it wasn’t even that bad at all and just straight up unfair, him being one of the kindest and silliest souls you’ve probably ever had the privilege to come across.
“i’ll help you.”
his eyes snapped to yours. “huh?”
“i’ll help you!” you spoke sweetly. “i’ll say your name three times so you can leave the attic.”
“wha— really?!” he exclaimed excitedly, hands animatedly flying everywhere as they went from digging into his white locks to all over his suit and then thrown out to grip over your shoulders, shaking you as you giggled again. “holy shit will you actually?!”
“yeah! why not?” you grinned. “i don’t think it’s right that you’re stuck up here all alone.”
“angel! angel! you’re an angel!” he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and stuffed your face into his chest, squishing you so fucking tight and honestly holding you way longer than he should’ve, but you not minding one tiny bit as you hugged him back and smoothed a comforting friendly hand over his broad shoulders.
“what’s your name then?” you muffled against his suit. “so i can—”
“ahhh fuck.” he muttered. “i forgot about one thing.”
you pulled back a little. “hm?”
“i can’t tell you my name.”
“what?” you looked at him confusedly. “what do you mean? why not?”
“it’s part of the stupid contract sweets...” he sighed heavily. “but i can give you clues! ooo!— like charades! ready?”
“oh! o—okay!” you nodded, him finally letting you go and stepping back.
“don’t freak out.” he grinned in a silly way. “i’m about to make things show up.”
your eyebrows furrowed. “make things show up?”
he waved his hand and a life sized fucking black bug appeared out of nowhere, landing on one of the old wooden rocking chairs in the corner of the room as it wiggled its little legs and peered around, you screaming and flying behind the strange blue eyed man while he laughed loudly and looked over his shoulders for you.
“it’s okay! just a figment of your imagination is all.” he cheesed. “but guess now!”
“guess what?!” you shrieked.
“what that is!” he pointed to the bug.
you peeked an eye out from his side, the bug still gross and horrifying as it wiggled it’s antennas.
“a bug!”
“what kind?”
“a beetle!”
“yes!” he nodded vigorously. “okay that’s the first part!”
“your name starts with beetle?!—”
he waved his hand again and the bug disappeared, a carton of orange juice replacing it instead and floating in mid air, a shiny glass cup next to it as you amazedly watched it pour its bright orange contents into the cup without spilling a single drop.
“…orange juice?” you spoke softly, timidly coming around from behind him. “your names beetle orange juice?”
“not quite!” he made a drinking motion with his hand.
“beetle drinking orange juice?”
he laughed. “no! you’re adding too many words pretty take some out.”
“beetle drinking juice?”
“nope.”
“beetle drinking orange?”
“colder.”
“beetlejuice?—”
“yes!” he threw his hands out, eyes wild and excited. “yes that! and you’ve already said it once now just two more times—”
“beetlejuice.”
“uh huh uh huh—”
“beetle— mmph!”
a pair of hands clasped over your mouth from behind you and pulled you back, you letting out a muffled scream as you thrashed and quickly pried their fingers away, you spinning around and fully expecting to see rin behind you with a shit eating grin and laughing in your face for scaring you.
except it wasn’t rin.
it was the maitlands.
“don’t say his name honey.” barbara spoke first. “trust me… don’t.”
“i mean— are we sure about this sweetheart?” adam looked at his wife. “maybe he isn’t all that bad… hell we don’t even know for sure—”
barbara shook her head. “adam, did you not hear a word juno said? he was about to take advantage of that poor girl!”
take advantage?
you heard a scoff behind you and you turned around, a disgruntled and pissed off look on beetlejuice’s face as he crossed his arms.
“jeez i know you don’t like me but that’s low.” he mumbled. “i wouldn’t do something like that.”
your head turned back to barbara. “you know who juno is?”
she nodded. “juno’s our caseworker… we got assigned to her in the netherworld after we died.”
“took us three months waiting in the waiting room until she finally got to us.” adam added, chuckling in humorous disbelief. “but all she really did was nag at us and warn us about him.”
adam pointed behind you and you turned around again, beetlejuice bitterly looking to the side with his lips pursed.
oh god.
had he been feeding you nonsense this entire time?
“warn about what.” you mumbled, and beetlejuice snapped his head in your direction with anxious eyes.
“juno calls him a bio-exorcist.” barbara informed you. “he tried to illegally cross over to the land of the living and bring himself back to life.”
your eyes bulged open. “back to life? how?”
“you switch souls with someone else through a ritual.” adam piped in. “juno says he attempted to trick and switch souls with somebody that was alive so he could terminate all who were living… and they didn’t even know about it.”
“that’s not true!” beetlejuice countered, utterly exasperated. “the old hag made that up!”
he quickly walked towards you, taking your hands in his and looking at you pleadingly.
“please sweets you’ve gotta believe me i never wanted to kill anybody—”
you ripped your hands away and glared. “so this entire time you’ve been lying, playing some hopeless victim so you can poke into my head and find out shit about me to use to your advantage?—”
“no! no i— i haven’t been lying about anything it’s juno!”
“juno.” you repeated coldly. “and what’s she lying about exactly.”
“about killing the living!” he threw his hands out in emphasis. “she literally pulled that out of her ass when her and her minions banned me—”
“and what about tricking that person to switch souls with you so you can come back?”
he faltered, words completely failing him and guilty eyes looking into yours so deeply that it nearly made you feel bad for yelling at him.
“that’s… that’s true.”
you let out a breath of disbelief and barbara put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently and comfortingly as she looked at you with caring eyes.
“we don’t know what to believe either honey.” she began. “it’s a lot of he said she said… but it’s better to be safe. he tried to get us to say his name three times too in exchange for his help.”
you quirked a brow. “help? what do you guys need help with?”
“your buddies downstairs.” adam sighed. “they’re stealing our things and just messing up the house… but we’ve been watching you and we know you’ve been trying to get them out and so have we… horrendously though.”
“oh my god—” you slapped a hand over your gaping mouth. “i totally forgot about them! i’m so so sorry oh my god i can’t even begin to explain to you how embarrassing this is i’ve been telling them to stop—”
barbara laughed and waved you off. “it’s alright! we know sweetheart. but we’re not frightening enough to scare them off whatsoever… so that’s what we were trying to get his help for.”
“and i still can y’know…” he muttered. “even though you hate me.”
“i don’t hate you juno does.” she crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one side of her hip. “adam and i are lost we don’t know what’s going on and we can’t even read that thing for the recently deceased.”
“we’re just trying to get them out of the house son…” adam finished off.
and in that moment you felt like you were the one responsible for this. that if you had bitched about it harder, even screamed at rin to get him to stop or damn near called the fucking cops on them so that this wouldn’t be happening right now… the maitlands wouldn’t have to suffer and struggle like this every waking day to protect their home and what rightfully still belonged to them even after death.
because the maitland’s roaming around and producing shadows and figures and scaring the realtors and prospected buyers off wasn’t just for shits and giggles… but to try and keep what was once theirs and feel a sense of normalcy for the life they once had.
that was their great beyond. their home.
“i’ll get them to leave.” you smiled at barbara and adam. “i don’t care if i literally have to start fist fighting with his friends this is so unfair—”
“wait! are— are you sure sweets?” beetlejuice interjected worriedly. “your boyfriend’s kind of nuts and i can’t help you once you leave the attic—”
“i’m sure.” you mumbled, still bitter and annoyed at him. “can’t be anymore nuts than you basically trying to kill someone so you can prance around alive again—”
“i already apologized to the entire netherworld nation for that!” he argued. “but if you ask me, if it’s so bad then they shouldn’t have put the fucking instructions in the guidebook.”
“juno says guidebook reveals to you what you want most.” adam spoke. “because barb and i didn’t see a single page that had to do with that… mostly just tips on how to scare the living.”
beetlejuice closed his eyes exhaustedly and shook his head. “doesn’t matter. i’m not trying to trick anyone right now i just want to get out of this damn attic—”
he looked to you again. “—please say my name three times pretty i’ve poked in your boyfriends head and he’s looney i don’t want you to—”
“i’ll see you guys in a sec!” you walked over to the door and left a sputtering frustrated beetlejuice behind. “if nothing works i’ll literally just take my boyfriends keys and drive the car down the hill, he freaks over that thing—”
your voice trailed off as you walked down the creaky stairs of the attic and down the hall of the second floor, the maitlands main bedroom coming into view as you tried to get a script together in your head as to what exactly you were gonna tell rin… but your footsteps quickening at the sound of loud yelling and laughing coming from inside the bedroom, sounds of glass shattering and moving furniture making you panic as you practically stumbled in from the doorway.
and your heart stopped, rin standing there with a crow bar in his hands that he got from who the fuck knows where, smashing multiple vases and porcelain jewelry cases and stuffing his pockets full of anything that looked shiny and valuable in his eyes, the mattress and blankets thrown over to the side and the mainland’s things just completely ransacked as you took it all in.
“rin!”
he jumped and spun around, brows pinching upon seeing you standing there.
“what are you doing here? i thought you left?”
“what the fuck?!” you gestured to the broken shards on the floor and strewn about articles of clothing. “what the hell is wrong with you?!”
“calm down babe it’s fine.” he turned and smashed another small jewelry case, you scoffing in response. “it’s all useless shit that’s gonna dust over—”
“get out.”
he snorted. “uh huh—”
“i’m serious rin get out.” you spat. “all of you.”
“yeah like i’d listen to you.” he spoke harshly, eyes narrowed and sharp as he turned again. “go wait in the fucking car or go home—”
“i’m calling the cops.”
“what?!”
a series of protests and worrisome comments erupted in the air from the group, all thrown directly at a fuming rin as he chucked his crow bar to the side— it clattering on the wooden floor as he hastily trudged over to you and gripped your upper arm, yanking you with him and out of the room into the hallway by the stairs.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing huh?” he spoke lowly and in your face. “embarrassing me in front of my friends like that?”
you shoved him off. “get out and find another building or i’m calling the cops rin.”
“yeah and if you do that i’m telling them you’re a shitty psychic medium so they can throw you in the shrink.”
your jaw dropped.
rin was being meaner than usual.
“why are you like this.” you mumbled. “i don’t even know why i’m still with you you’re an asshole and you’re pathetic—”
he got in your face again and grabbed your jaw, pressing you up against the railing of the staircase and damn near throwing you over as the edge of it dug into your lower back, your fingers gripping his arm and struggling to pull him away from you while his friends quietly gasped and silently watched in shock.
“pathetic? me?” he laughed humorously. “you’re the one who doesn’t have anything or anyone besides me and yet you still treat me like this you ungrateful bitch—”
“rin okay that’s enough dude let her go—”
“you wanna shut up? or do you wanna trade spots with her?” his fiery crazed eyes switched over to his friend, him only cowering under rin’s intense stare and shaking his head no, diverting his gaze and you still squirming and tugging for your freedom.
“get— off me—”
“or what?” he pushed you further back and your breath hitched, your feet off the ground now at this point as one of your hands shot out to grip the railing for support. “you gonna call your ghost friends for help? go ahead i wanna see you do it you lying—”
“beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!”
a thunderous roar broke out into the air, actual lightning and black smokey fog spreading over the ceiling and around you as rin instantly let you go and looked around, all of his friends in a pure state of fear and alarm as they lost sight of each other amongst the suffocating mist— including you as you frantically tried to look for a clear path out, unable to decide if you regretted what you had just done.
“never seen a man with such a power trip!” a booming voice echoed through the house that you quickly recognized to be beetlejuice’s, the walls vibrating with each word. “seems to me like it’s all bark and no bite!”
“what did you do y/n?!” you heard rin’s distant yelling from somewhere you couldn’t pinpoint, the air cold and prickling at your skin. “who did you call?!”
“a god!” beetlejuice excitedly answered. “achilles preferably! wait actually he’s a demigod not a—”
“who the fuck is achilles?!”
the air cleared in the center suddenly and revealed a petrified rin, wide eyed and angry as he whipped his head around to try and figure out what was going on.
“you don’t know who achilles is?” half of beetlejuice popped out of nowhere from above the fog and his friends screamed at the mere size of him, for he wasn’t the normal looking man you saw before but a borderline monster— huge and crazed as he looked down at rin in particular with a scary grin.
but his eyes were still a fascinating sparkling blue, oddly familiar in a way as you watched the scene before you through the black air, beetlejuice continuing.
“read a book your stupid is showing.”
he lunged while simultaneously popping his eyeballs out of their sockets with his tongue out, cartoonish and terrifying as his friends yelled for help and scrambled to try and leave, struggling though the smothering mist as you placed a hand over your mouth in shock.
beetlejuice sucked his eyeballs back in and blinked to adjust. “what? you guys scared too? shouldn’t have been so mean to my little sweets over there then!”
they all looked to you and you froze, rin’s gaze narrowing.
“his little sweets?” he clenched his jaw. “the hells he talking about?”
beetlejuice didn’t know why rin was so dumb for even attempting at getting near you again after everything he did and said— his footsteps quick and stompy towards you until he straight up smacked into an invisible wall and doubled back with a hand over his nose, your brows pinching in confusion.
you timidly reached a hand out, expecting your fingers to touch an invisible barrier except there wasn’t one at all as they fell through completely over nothing, your arm slowly retracting back to your chest.
you looked up at beetlejuice’s huge figure, and he gave you a bright cute smile that made your cheeks heat up.
“this is bullshit!” rin roared, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand and pointing at you after. “you’re a goddamn nutcase y/n! what kind of show are you putting on huh?!”
“me?!” you shot back. “maybe you should stop being a dick for once in your life and listen when i tell you things you idiot.”
“yup!” beetlejuice quipped. “doll if you’re still with him after all of this i’m gonna have to start haunting you in your dreams.”
your gaze switched to beetlejuice and you laughed, a little glint to his eye as he watched you shake your pretty head.
“i was gonna dump him the minute i got him out of the house—”
“what?!” rin barked. “dump me? for what?!”
you scoffed. “are you serious? what do you mean for what?”
“fuck— babe okay i’m sorry alright? i’m sorry i’m just a little overwhelmed right now—”
“you’re a sack of shit.” beetlejuice spat. “and call her babe again and i’ll start the engine of your car and ram it through a tree.”
you snickered and rin swiveled around to face him.
“why don’t you stay out of this freak and leave my girlfriend alone—”
“sweets i’ll make him go away if you marry me.”
you choked, flustered and stiff as you looked at him, bewildered out of your mind.
“huh?!”
“pretty pleeaaseee.” he dragged. “you saying my name got me out of the attic but not the house itself… but if you marry me i’m a free man!”
“how does that—” you let out a shocked breath. “how does that even make sense—”
“marry me.”
“but i!—”
“marry me that’s my condition.”
“hold on!—”
rin dove at you with the full intention to grab you and pull you away, but eyes widening in terror as an invisible force practically grabbed his ankle and sweeped him back and away from you, dragging his body across the wooden floor and over to beetlejuice, his friends having enough of all of this and making a run for it down the stairs.
“oh! i almost forgot about you guys!”
beetlejuice nudged his head and they were sent flying back just like rin, all of them screaming and pleading for mercy as their bodies dragged across the floor and returned to him.
“which of you should i gobble up right now… i’m feeling the one on the far right! he’s trembling like a little leaf—”
“please no!” he cried. “i’ll— i’ll do anything! i’ll leave i’ll never—”
“—and i’ll save rin for the very end… best for last right?!”
they all wailed and clawed at the foggy air, your body unmoving as you tried to figure out if beetlejuice was actually being serious.
“please man!—”
“i’m sorry i’m so sorry!—”
“don’t apologize to me you doofuses.” another invisible force grabbed them all by the ankles and pulled them up, dangling them upside down. “apologize to her. then maybe i’ll spare you… how’s that sound?!”
“y/n! please! i’m sorry—”
“we’re sorry dear god!—”
“y/n!—”
“put— put them down!” you wavered. “that’s enough it’s okay! jesus..”
“awww already?!” beetlejuice pouted. “but i haven’t even started swinging them around yet… like a little ferris wheel! heh.”
you slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh once rin and his friends started wailing in fear again, you shaking your head and smiling at him.
“it’s okay! next time! just let them go i’m sure they’ll run—”
“y/n, it seems like you understand me… you’re the only one that hasn’t bitten my head off in the entire three years that i’ve been dead!”
you laughed again. “i’m glad! now put them down please—“
“so be my wife then.”
“beetlejuice!”
“what?!” he whined. “you don’t wanna be my lawful wedded wife?”
“no!— well— just—”
“is it because i’m dead?”
“put them down and i’ll consider it!”
“yes ma’am!”
the invisible force dropped them and they slammed against the hardwood floors, each and every single one of them fumbling to get their things that flew out of their pockets while upside down and scurrying away, hurried footsteps stomping down the staircase as they tripped over their feet to get to and out the front door, you observing in amusement and slight guilt, leaning over the edge of the staircase to watch them go.
and the second that they did, the stuffy black fog lifted and felt immensely lighter, it dispersing into the air above you as it thinned out to a mere silly mist, cold and wet to the touch and similar to the air you’d feel after a long days worth of rainfall and cloudy weather, slow strides coming up from behind you as you saw beetlejuice’s shiny raven leather dress shoes out of the corner of your eye, you standing upright and turning to him.
he smiled warmly at you.
“thank you.” you grinned, bashful as he reached and fixed up your hair— hands smoothing over your head and down before his fingers lightly grazed and played with the ends of your strands.
“you’re welcome.” he murmured. “thank you for getting me out of the attic sweets!”
you kindly nodded.
“sweetheart, are you alright?”
you looked back and saw the maitlands, barbara walking up with outstretched arms and pulling you in for a hug.
“that boy was insane!” she pulled back and held you out at an arms length by the shoulders. “we tried so hard to intervene while he was yelling at you but we’re useless… they couldn’t see us.”
you giggled. “no it’s okay! really you didn’t need to i wouldn’t ever wanna put you guys in that position.”
“honey— he almost pushed you off the railing…” adam spoke softly. “if you hadn’t called for beetlejuice lord knows what he would’ve done… he was so aggressive and we were worried…”
your heart warmed, never in your life having been so cared for and looked after— funnily enough that you were receiving that sacred feeling from beings that were dead rather than living and it reminding you a little bit of the way your parents were with you when you were young, when they were still alive.
“we’re sorry for being so hard on you kid…” barbara sighed, gaze shifting to beetlejuice. “mistakes happen. i’m sure your passing was something you weren’t expecting like us.”
“oh! no it’s okay don’t.” he smiled brightly. “i almost killed a man i understand.”
“but we understand too.” adam added, and you felt like he was also referring to something you had no clue about as he had a particular look in his eyes, something that was only amongst them three. “i would’ve considered the same.”
beetlejuice swung an arm around your shoulders and looked down at you.
“so are you my little wife?”
“okay—” barbara laughed. “not that you know this—”
“adam! barbara!”
a sudden shriek boomed through the house and beetlejuice instantly pulled you behind him, waving his hand and an invisible force sending you further away until your back gently bumped against the wall, panic rising in your chest as the same black fog from earlier returned and swirled around you, blocking your vision.
was he… was he hiding you? what for?
“juno!” beetlejuice greeted, laughing awkwardly. “heyy long time no see!”
oh.
“zip it bozo.”
from the cracks and openings that you could see through the whirling wind, a proper old lady in professional office attire stood there with her arms crossed, a pissed off look on her face as she tapped her heel against the floor and played with the pearls around her neck.
“what did i tell you two about letting him free?” she scolded. “he’s a loose cannon! he’s not to be trusted!”
“i know i know we’re sorry… we just really needed to get those kids out! and they’re gone! and beetlejuice seems alright!” barbara looked to her husband, a desperate flicker in her gaze. “right adam?”
“yes! uh uh!” adam stepped forward and sighed softly. “please juno… he’s just a kid. he’s learned and what he did was three years ago—”
“what he did could’ve cost me my job and set my entire office up in flames.” juno lectured, pointing her wrinkly finger at beetlejuice next. “you broke a million undead laws and have hundreds of violation codes on your record. your punishment was to stay in the attic for eternity.”
eternity?
oh god no.
“but now i’m gonna have to send you to live inside mr. maitland’s winter river model and you better stay there!”
“what?!” beetlejuice scoffed. “juno please there’s gotta be a way i can lift those violations?”
“i’m afraid there isn’t.” she seethed.
“pretty please?”
“no.”
“with a cherry on top?”
“absolutely not.”
“not even probation?—”
“not even probation! you’re gone!”
your eyes blew open as you watched juno extend an arm out and move it to the side, a bright white blinding light encasing her entire figure and you quickly pushed a hand through the black fog and grabbed the back of beetlejuice’s suit, everything around you scarily blurring out and disappearing and you squeezed your eyes shut, arms reaching out to wrap around his upper torso as you buried your face in his back.
you didn’t want him to go… not at all. and the thought of him stuck inside a model forever like that all alone terrified you.
you understood why he was punished in the first place, but why couldn’t juno just see that he was good? that all he was trying to do was come back to life and live? something many other souls would also kill for?
hadn’t he been punished enough already? he stood stuck in that attic for three god damn years straight with no means of escape whatsoever, and now he was shamefully being sent to live inside a styrofoam cardboard model that was far worse than that stupid attic, for now he couldn’t be seen by anyone even if he truly wanted to be.
had that not been enough? enough of a sign to reconsider his contract?
why couldn’t he just be given a second fucking chance—
“pretty?”
you opened your eyes, forehead quickly detaching from his back and looking up, his piercing blue eyes staring down at you worriedly from behind as he shifted his body a little in your hold to face you.
“what are you doing here i thought—” his surprised gaze shifted over to the way you were clutching onto him, and he relaxed, smiling a little.
“you grabbed me baby?”
“i—” you let him go and stepped back, your cheeks a vibrant pinky shade. “y—yeah…”
he turned around fully.
“why?”
“because—” you bit your bottom lip, peering cutely up at him.
“because i thought we were getting married…”
beetlejuice’s expression dropped and he stared at you wide eyed, his face reddening at your words.
“i don’t— i don’t understand—”
“what?” you giggled. “i thought you proposed to me earlier?”
“i did! yes i did!” he rapidly nodded. “but— but are you actually serious?”
you nodded. “mhm! i am!”
“you can say no sweets honestly it’s okay…”beetlejuice spoke softly with pinched brows. “i’ll cry myself to sleep and shrivel up but i can handle it don’t worry about me—”
you laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. “i wanna marry you… i wanna set you free.”
you walked over to a little bench, the feeling of you stepping on rubber and glue a little weird under your feet as you sat down and smiled, gently patting the spot next to you.
“i’m not letting you stay here forever by yourself, not when you’ve been doing that already for years.” you murmured, him taking a seat next to you with a yearn-full but apprehensive face.
“you deserve to do the things you want to do and see the things you want to see…” you looked at him so sincerely and loving that he felt his undead heart throb. “… and if i can help you in anyway to get you there i don’t care what it is. i can’t think of anyone more deserving of freedom than you.”
“you’re so pure…” he softly took your hand, yours warm and pumping in comparison to his cold and stiff one. “you always have been.”
he stared at your hand still, his index finger delicately tracing over the faint markings of your working veins underneath your skin, trying to remember what they looked like on him when he was alive, and if they ever looked as precious as yours did.
beetlejuice raised your hand and kissed it, eliciting a fuzzy blush to your cheeks.
“i think we’re meant to be.”
you faltered slightly, for you felt a rush of deja vu hit you like a stifling wave.
“have we met?” you teasingly asked. “before you died?”
he laughed and shook his head.
you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, beetlejuice still tracing the lines and indentations of your hand before you spoke up again.
“i have a question.”
his content eyes switched to yours before they looked back down. “yes sweets?”
“is your name really beetlejuice?”
he weirdly stopped, and you quirked a brow.
“it’s…” he swallowed. “it’s not.”
“oh what the?” you paused, a little puzzled. “where did it come from?”
“juno.” he snickered. “the old hag said it fit how bizarre and stupid i was, so she put it in my contract.”
“oh my fucking god.” you mumbled. “why the hell would she do that? that’s cruel… you’ve already paid the price for what you did the least she could do is address you by your given name.”
beetlejuice laughed cutely, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you.
“that woman doesn’t care baby… so don’t sweat it.” he lifted a hand and ruffled your hair. “and if you ask me, she needs to retire immediately. like— yesterday. all she does is fucking nag at me and the rest of her damn clients.”
you giggled.
“so what’s your name then?”
“not important! now i say we figure out a way to get out of this rinky dink model—”
your eyes narrowed.
“why won’t you tell me your name?”
“—or maybe we should just stay and make ourselves at home!—”
“you won’t tell your soon to be wife your name?—”
“—oh! oh! i can manifest a little jacuzzi in the middle of the cemetery that’s neat—”
you slapped a hand over his mouth and he stopped, your pleading little eyes making him guiltily melt against your hold.
“your name.” you urged softly, lowering your hand and revealing a little frown that he had on his lips. “please.”
“i—” he blinked, utterly remorseful. “i can’t… i can’t tell you my name.”
your brows pinched. “why not? is part of your contract?”
“no— well yes.” he sighed deeply through his nose, and you wondered why he looked so… strained.
“it’s not their contract, but my contract… with you.”
you froze.
“with—” you struggled. “i don’t—”
he rubbed his tired sunken eyes.
“it’s okay sweets but that’s all you need to know—”
“no.” you replied firmly. “what i need to know is your name.”
he dropped his arms and shook his head desperately. “y/n please i put that contract on you to protect you if— if i tell you my name you’ll be hurt and i don’t want that—”
“what do you mean?” you bitterly scooched away from him on the bench and he stubbornly moved closer, eliminating the distance you had created.
“i lied when you asked me if we had met.”
your heart dropped.
“because we have… and i— i wanted you to forget me so i took away your memories and if i tell you my name—”
he swallowed hard.
“… it’ll break the contract. and you’ll remember me again.”
you stared at him, his regretful tortured gaze so anguishing that it was almost unbearable to watch him endure it, wanting to mend it instead, something that already felt so right and easy to you and in no way shape or form unfamiliar.
slowly, you reached up and cupped his cold cheeks in your hands, bringing his forehead to rest against yours.
“but i want to remember you…” you murmured. “…please let me.”
his pupils worriedly shook as they darted all around your striking features, his name practically hanging off the edge of his tongue but his throat physically unable to get the words out, for his dead heart was pulling and fighting with his vocal chords to prevent him from doing so, everything within him wanting to save you from memories he had to live with even after death.
but the other part of him was filled with such intense longing for you that it effortlessly slipped between the cracks of his defensive wall of not telling you his name…the relentless feeling going straight to his heart and mind and strangling the fuck out of it to get a formidable yes instead.
he wanted the life he once had. more than anything.
“satoru.”
something snapped in your brain and you flinched back, memories flooding through your mind faster than the speed of light as you recollected each and every moment in your existence, for the sentiment of vacancy and like a specific thing was just missing in your life was finally put back in its rightful place— for the thing that was missing in particular was him.
satoru gojo.
there were images of meeting him when you were both itty bitty in middle school under a magnolia tree, him sporadic and silly and making you laugh so hard on the third day of school that strawberry milk blew out of your nose and all over his clothes, satoru not having a care in the world as he cackled along with you and thought the way you made liquid come out of your nose was cool.
and there were images of the both of you becoming the best of friends— never one without the other as you pulled pranks on your teachers and ended up in detention together almost everyday, your parents utterly done with you as you never seemed to get it through your head how to behave, the both of you brushing off your scoldings and lectures because you had each other to endure all of it with.
and you saw how much he cared about you.
how he would physically fight and yell and reprimand anyone who called you a freak, anyone who spread rumors about you and your psychic medium abilities as he constantly reminded you everyday that your gift was sacred… a treasure while he wiped your tear stained cheeks and cheered you up after another day of your classmates poking fun at you, him saying that your skills were the coolest and how much he wished he was just like you, how much you both were meant to be as he loved ghost stories and scary stuff.
you saw how you fell in love too.
and it didn’t take long either, as your stolen glances and teasing turned into much more as soon as you grew and went to high school together, the both of you making it official literally your freshman year despite the apprehensions from your parents on both sides because of how young you were.
but it never proved to be an issue, you and satoru not once stumbling over a hiccup since the two of you had built such a strong foundation of genuine friendship and care before you blessedly fell in love, satoru throughout your years together absolutely smitten over you as he always passed you silly notes during class that had a gazillion hearts scribbled all across with your name in the middle, telling you all of the time just how much he loved and cherished you to the point where you had to funnily push him away from you to get him to stop smothering you, you always giving in anyways due to the fact that you were just as smitten, physically unable to go a day without him, and him still physically unable to not iterate how you were meant to be.
satoru understood you, satoru listened to you, and satoru believed you whenever you would speak on your psychic gift and how you had spoken casually to a spirit just the other day, him always interested and unbelievably amazed at everything you had to say as he bombarded you with fifty questions and begged you to teach him how to see spirits too.
he was respectful and supportive of you through it all.
especially when your parents died.
satoru wouldn’t leave your side. he refused to as you tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened, their accident so sudden and weird that it never made sense to you and still didn’t to this day.
and you grieved of course, cried and weeped and clung to satoru like a moth to a flame, feeling alone and without your biggest support system— without your loving peculiar parents that gave you your priceless gift in the first place, him accepting your tears with open arms as he encouraged you to let it all out and was worried for you when it seemed like you had moved on rather quickly from it.
but it was simply because your parents weren’t afraid of the afterlife. it was because your parents had talked so much about it and taught you everything that they knew, that you were convinced their souls peacefully made it through to the great beyond straight away and together, for you never saw their spirits roaming around aimlessly after and feeling eternally grateful for that, your whole life being about acknowledging and embracing the mysteries of life after death.
the knowledge of knowing they were at peace was enough to get you by for a little while.
satoru continued to check in on you about it though... even when it was the end of your junior year and nearing a year since their passing, his parents kindly taking you in after the ordeal and making satoru sleep on the floor and you taking over his bed since they didn’t have an extra room, satoru doing it without even needing to be told and you thanking all of them any chance you got for their amicable kindness and tried to pay them back, satoru checking in on you every night with a series of timid ‘are you okay’s’ and ‘are you happy’s’ before going to bed, your arm dangling off the edge so you could intertwine your fingers while you slept.
you were never alone like you thought you were. ever.
because of satoru.
and he made it obvious that he wanted to marry you too, that he wanted to have you for the rest of his life and didn’t give a single shit if you were both only 18 and barely starting college, him deeming it pointless for the both of you to pretend like the hope of marriage wasn’t there just for the sake of shutting up his parents, as every time he brought it up you stammered and blushed and fidgeted and he only giggled at you, telling you it would happen soon, to be ready, and to sit pretty and patient until the right time came.
except it never did.
because satoru gojo died a year later following that on halloween, precisely on his way over to your dorm when he was snatched by an unknown man and murdered in the middle of the night, you stuck wondering what had happened to him and why he wasn’t answering the phone when he was hours late to come get you, your chest on fire and aching as the feeling in your gut was weirdly excruciating, a part of you completely torn away and lost and you had no idea why until the very next morning.
and he had to watch you mourn. properly this time and not at all like the way you did for your parents, as this time it was fucking worse, painfully and all alone and for no way for him to get to you and comfort you— to tell you it was okay to cry and that he loved you, to tell you to be happy, to be hopeful for the future and hopeful to the thought of spending the rest of your lives together and being meant to be.
but instead he had to watch you wail and scream in your pillow every night with no saving, clutching his clothes and things and picture frames, you making yourself sick as the grief was too much to bare— everything that your parents had said to you and taught you about the afterlife meaning absolutely jack shit as the workings of supposed fate took away the only thing that ever made you happy.
satoru’s dream was to live with you. and it was taken away from him so brutally that he went absolutely nuts in the netherworld.
because yes he violated every single fucking undead law in the book and jumped over restricted gates and strange passage ways and doors, shoved through emotionless security guards, ignored juno’s warnings, and yes he tricked a living human being so he could exchange souls with him—
all for the sole purpose of getting back to you.
it was always for you.
and now, him sitting next to you with an anxious waiting expression, your body and mind now feeling the effects of not having seen him for three entire years and the way your conscious mind grieved for him and his return, his skin sickishly pale and cold but still so handsome nonetheless… absolutely broke you.
it broke you as you let out a strangled hiccup and covered your mouth tightly with both hands, eyes squeezing painfully shut as you reeled over and wailed with a broken heart, for you were mourning the loss of him all over again.
“baby no please—” he quickly caught you and brought you to his chest, his breathing erratic and with the biggest lump in his throat. “see? i didn’t want you to remember i— i wanted you to forget—
you continued to bawl and borderline scream out in agony, his words meaning absolutely nothing at this moment as your mind wouldn’t quit flashing painful memories through your mind, memories that were once entirely missing as they suffocated you with displays of satoru in his grave over and over and over again.
“i can’t—” he frantically looked around for something, anything that would make you feel better before looking back down. “look at me—”
“why did you leave?!” you wailed, pushing him away as the sight of you drowning in your tears ripped him to shreds. “why did you abandon me toru?! why did you—”
“i’m sor—” his voice gave out and he placed a hand over his heart, tears slipping from his eyes. “i’m sorry i’m so sorry i— i never wanted to leave—”
he reached out and tugged you in again, your body slumping against his as he struggled over his sobs.
“i didn’t want to die i tried so hard not to die—”
his words only made you cry harder as he gripped you tighter and shut his mouth, his frame trembling against yours and his tears trickling down and wetting your hair.
“you left me! you were supposed to come— hic— to come get me! you were supposed to marry me!—”
you were babbling mindlessly at this point, your shattered heart taking over the words that were tumbling out of your mouth as you gripped and clawed at his suit, trying to bury yourself in his skin and stay there where you belonged.
he was too cold. and you couldn’t hear a heart beat.
satoru could only cry and bawl with you as he gently rocked you side to side, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make you feel better, and nothing he could do to come back to life.
no matter how much he wanted it.
no matter how much you wanted it.
this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
“i tried so hard.” he mumbled. “i never stopped trying to get to you that’s why juno hates me so much because i’ve violated fucking everything.”
he pressed his lips to your forehead and laid his cheek on it after.
“i got sent to the attic and i couldn’t look after you anymore and i didn’t even get the chance to let you see me either—”
besides the fact that he took your memories, that explained why you never saw his spirit after he died, and you quickly pulled back again and narrowed your bloodshot eyes at him.
“why did you take my memories i never— hic!— i never asked you to i never wanted—”
“because i didn’t want you to grieve over me pretty…” he gently wiped your cheeks while you cried. “you were hurting so much and it was torture watching you suffer like that.”
you sniffled and wiped your eyes with the base of your palm.
“i wanted to see you happy…” satoru finished off.
“was i?”
he dropped his hands and frowned.
“were you?”
“no!” you muttered. “my entire life i’ve felt like something was missing and i didn’t know why… like this— this block in my brain that i couldn’t figure out and it was always just empty and like something was supposed to be there.”
you tucked your hair behind your ear and solemnly looked down, a pulsing headache racking through you from how much you were crying.
“i had to live with the fact that i was alone and that i never had anyone… and i had accepted that too… only this entire time i did have someone. you.”
and oddly enough, through everything that happened— all of the memories that you now remembered and the devastating death of your late boyfriend, you finally felt a little bit less strange and unusual.
because you always thought that something was wrong with you for feeling the way that you did, for craving something— someone that never existed, for wanting to fill the void that you now know satoru once happily sat in, all of these things now officially clicking into place and bringing you the weirdest sense of peace you had probably ever felt.
“i wish you never made me forget.” you mumbled. “you’re worth remembering toru…. even if it hurts me.”
he guiltily nodded and sniffed. “m’sorry… i thought you were better off forgetting.”
a part of him still does, because the small glimpses he caught of you no longer crying and just simply living after he took your memories away, was enough to bring him a tiny sense of relief just before he got banished to the attic, hopeful that you would live a long and happy life even if it was painfully without him.
but the minute he sensed you coming up to the house earlier that night with him thinking he was going absolutely insane and if it was truly you, was also enough to send all of that out the fucking window and falling back into a pit of despair and longing for you when he finally saw you again— for the first time in three years, looking just as pretty as he remembered and a little more grown up.
you slowly shook your head side to side, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck and him immediately responding, snaking them around your waist and pulling your warm beating body flush against his chest.
“do you still love me?” he murmured. “even though i’m dead?”
you slightly snorted, softly kissing his cheek.
“i’ll always love you toru. wherever you are.”
“i’ll always love you.”
he pulled back and gently smiled, eyes flickering to your soft lips as he juggled in his mind if it was okay to kiss you, every fiber of his undead being begging for it after missing and wishing it for so long, left with only recollections of your kisses to suffice through the years that he spent without you and wondering if he still had the right to— since even though you were once his, and he shamelessly still considered you his, he didn’t know if you were on the same page.
but you were.
it would be stupid not to be.
you leaned your pretty little face closer to his, timid doe eyed gaze looking at him so fondly that it brought back that same familiar feeling he felt with you those years ago, his hands coming up and settling themselves on your warm lively cheeks, holding you like fragile porcelain.
but were his dead lips still worthy of yours? even after everything he’d done?
“toru.”
he hummed.
“do you remember our first kiss?”
“uh huh.” he breathed out softly. “it was in my room.”
“i think—” your nose brushed with his. “i think we should have our second first kiss.”
he bit his bottom lip and smiled.
“you think so?”
“i do.”
he hummed again, his thumb gently grazing over your plushy lips.
“i think it should look a little more like the first time.”
he tilted his head to the side a tiny bit and a delicate gust of wind brushed through your hair, your surroundings now completely and miraculously morphed into his room with the both of you sitting on his bed— just like how you remembered it and basically had grown up in as you slowly took in your surroundings.
“how the fuck—”
he laughed a little, lifting one hand and keeping the other still on your cheek, his index finger lightly tapping the center of your forehead.
“mind manipulation pretty.” he grinned. “cool huh? i poked in your head again.”
“yeah!” you giggled. “very cool.”
“you know what else would be cool?”
“what?”
“if you gave me a little kiss.”
you tilted your head to the side and leaned in again, your breath fanning across his face and your lips so close but not quite that it was fucking excruciating.
“you want a kiss toru?”
“uh huh.”
“how bad— mmph!—”
satoru didn’t even let you finish that sentence as he stuffed his tongue in your mouth greedily, wet and messy kisses smacking through the room as he cradled your jaw, cold lips delving all over yours and him giddy over the sensation of your warm mouth in comparison to his, your hands clutching his blazer and making out so sensually as you made up for the time that was stolen from you.
and the only thing the two of you felt in each others arms then was serenity— one pumping, working heart and the other stiff, unmoving and cold, still equally beating for one another even through the restrictions of death, for satoru’s heart continued to move and love you regardless of how lifeless it may have appeared.
he suddenly pulled away, breathless.
“sweets?”
“yeah?”
“where in the actual fuck did you meet rin?”
you laughed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a regretful look. “knowing what i know now, i’m sick to my stomach toru.”
“did you meet him after i died?”
you nodded. “he was in one of my literature classes… and since back then i only remembered living my life— alone, i guess he was the first person that didn’t make me feel that way. at the start.”
“lame.” he mumbled. “you cheated on me sweets.”
“no!” you laughed again, giving him a little pout. “he was awful. horrendous. and i only stayed because i didn’t wanna be alone again… even though i shouldn’t have.”
you leaned and gave him a soft tiny lingering peck.
“did you love him?” he murmured against your lips, and you shook your head.
“remembering you again made me realize what being in love with someone was supposed to feel like.” you reached and brushed through the front stands of his white hair mindlessly. “and it was no where near what i felt for rin. i didn’t feel anything for him actually.”
he pursed his lips to the side, eyes squinting in thought and distaste.
“hmmm…”
you giggled. “what toru?”
he hated that you got associated with a guy like that, and hated even more that rin was kissing and hugging and touching you whenever the fuck he wanted when you were his first.
“i’m gonna haunt him for the rest of his life.”
you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged him. “honestly? do it. he sucks.”
“and you know what else sweets?”
you quirked a little brow. “what?”
“i’m gonna make you forget!”
“toru!” you giggled. “no more taking memor—“
satoru leaned his face closer to yours and you froze up, wide eyed as a little mischevious glint in his vibrant blue gaze made you fidget.
he slowly grinned and tilted his head, lips coming closer to the side of your ear and tantalizingly hovering, arms snaking around your torso and pulling you up against him.
“did you let him touch you pretty?”
“t—touch?—”
“mhm.” he gripped you a little tighter. “did you?”
“um.” you squirmed a bit, your body turning hot in the matter of seconds. “what— what do you mean—”
“did you let him fuck you.”
your breath hitched and your cheeks went pink, hands timidly resting flat on his chest and feeling a little… guilty.
“maybe—” you paused, shaky breaths blowing through your nose. “maybe once—”
satoru shot up to stand and hauled you with him, a squeal slipping past your lips as he hiked you up and brought your legs around his waist, walking across the room in quick strides and plopping you down roughly on his desk, kicking away his chair and it slamming against the wall as it rolled back.
“toru?—”
“why can’t i make you forget… hm?” he grazed his lips from your jaw and up the side of your cheek, feather like as he squeezed and kneaded at your thighs, your heart fucking hammering against your chest.
“why would you wanna remember being with someone else other than me baby…”
“i— i don’t but you erased my memories—”
he pulled back and tutted, head shaking and fingers drumming against your thighs. “doesn’t matter! should’ve avoided them like the plague silly.”
you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him gently in.
“i would’ve if i remembered.”
“remember this remember that—” he smiled brightly and brought his face close to yours once more.
“y’know what?” he cutely pecked your lips. “i’m gonna help you remember something!”
your brows pinched momentarily in curiosity. “what?”
“that i’m the only man that ever gets to fuck you.”
satoru smashed his lips against yours and pulled you in tight, the bulge in his dress pants abundantly obvious as he grinded and rutted his aching cock on your clothed pussy, you gasping in his mouth at the feeling as you tried to keep up with his feverish fast kisses.
he slipped his icy hands underneath your top and you jumped at the change in temperature, satoru ravishing you up and obsessed with the heat your body produced and radiated, leaving him toasty for once and bringing a faux sense of life to him.
“did you forget that too?” he murmured against your lips, hands ever so slowly creeping up and sliding under your bra to grope your plump tits. “how i feel?”
“nuh uh.” you breathed out. “i didn’t—”
“tell me what you remember then sweets…”
he slid his hands back down and hiked your skirt up, you lifting your hips a little to help him bring it up as high as he possibly could, your pretty little panties tight and suffocating your pussy as his fingers came down to play with your swollen needy clit.
“i remember—” your mouth hung open, words lodging in your throat.
“hm?” he shoved his hand in your panties and your eyes fluttered closed, him placing open wet mouthed kisses all over your neck and chest, your mind unable to grasp the amount of pleasure he was getting out with simply just his fingers, pleasure you missed so fucking badly as he slipped his digits up and down your folds.
“your dick—” satoru pushed two fingers inside of you and you whined. “i remember the way you felt.”
“yeah?” he pulled back from your chest and grinned, fingers squelching as they pumped in and out. “and how did i feel?”
“big.” you choked out, legs spreading wider as you gripped the edge of his desk, his frenzied lust filled eyes drinking in the way you unraveled and crumbled before him.
something he was positive rin didn’t even come fucking close to.
“aww.” he cooed, digits speeding up as you squealed and tried to close your legs, him prying them open again. “bet you missed the way i filled you full huh? stretched you out so good?”
you rapidly nodded, eyebrows contorted in ecstasy as your thighs shook.
“anything else you missed baby?”
arousal trickled down your folds at this point, making an absolute mess out of his fingers.
“your hands— heave— on my neck when you’d fuck me—”
a shiver ran down his spine at your words, his cock so fucking hard and aching as it begged him to let it spring free and bury itself in your hole.
“my god…” he whispered. “i bet your slutty little self wants me to fuck you right now right? stuff you up and make you cum on my dick like i used to?”
with each word your hole was clenching and screaming for his cock, your hands quickly shooting out to pull and unbuckle at his belt, him laughing as he continued to finger your pussy while loosening up the collar of his tie.
“you’re so needy.”
you pouted, embarrassed as you pulled your hands away and brattily tugged at his wrist to take his fingers out.
“i take it back—”
“no!” he quickly yanked his belt off and flung it, his fingers unzipping his pants and taking out his solid dick. “hell no please i need to be inside you—“
he lined his cock up and without warning pushed, your hands flying to grip his shoulders for support and crying out at the mere size of him, his dick icy in between your gummy walls that somehow added a whole new wave of pleasure for you.
“hard toru.” you whined. “please i can’t— i—”
“i know baby i know.” he gripped your hips and snapped his hips up, your moans fueling him as he plunged in your hole and took no time in fucking you in just the way he knew you liked it, proud of the fact that your pussy still took every single inch of him like he’d trained you— almost like she recognized whose dick was actually for you and not some other fucking morons.
“you’re not screwing anybody else anymore, you hear me sweets?” he tapped your cheek to get you to look at him, you completely dazed and fucked out as you tried to hold eye contact with him amidst his drilling cock. “should’ve only been me… living or dead i don’t care.”
you nodded dumbly, you leaning and kissing him sloppily and desperately that you muffled his next words, refusing to detach from his mouth.
“did you— mmph— let him cum inside?”
you didn’t answer, not because you were afraid to, but because his dick was silencing you as you hiccuped and spasmed with every slam of his hips, satoru a horny goner and pinning everything all on you even when it was literally his fault he erased your memories in the first place, fuming over the thought of you tainted by another man that he wanted to perform a full fucking cleanse.
he rammed inside of you faster against the desk as you separated from his lips and clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
“don’t tell me you let him cum inside you little slut—”
“i didn’t!” you heaved. “i didn’t i didn’t—”
“good baby!” he cheered, a complete contrast to his menacing tone from seconds before. “so you do love me.”
“i do! i love you i love you i love yo—”
his unbeating heart soared.
“you love me?”
“uh— hic!— uh huh—“
“even when i’m dead?”
you nodded vigorously, feeling your orgasm starting to bubble up in your tummy as you choked and squirmed.
“perfect my sweet little thing…” he cooed once more, him literally lightheaded over the way you clenched around his cock. “make a mess all over me baby i’ve been dreaming of your cute cunt for three fucking years—”
you wrapped your arms around him by the neck again and moaned, burying your face in his neck as he placed two palms on your bent knees and spread your plushy thighs further apart, jack hammering you and so mean about it as you shook violently against him and came, heaves and sobs of pleasure racking through your body as he threw his head back and groaned.
“you want me to cum inside you?” he asked. “fill you up just like i used to?”
“yes! please please—”
“oh fucking well.”
he pulled out of you and your eyes bulged open, his dick shiny and covered in your juices as he grabbed your upper arm and yanked you down on your knees.
“you’re gonna suck me off and swallow what i give you for letting rin’s filthy hands on you.”
satoru tapped his dick against your cheek to get you to open up, you listening and opening your mouth as he shoved his cock inside and placed a hand on the back of your head, fucking your mouth as you choked and gagged on his length and loving every second of it.
“goooddd baby.” he whispered, your slobbering so nasty as he watched drool dribble down your chin. “so good…”
you gulped him down and lathered your tongue around while he used you, his balls swollen and twitching and him needing to dump his cum in your mouth for you to swallow.
“remember when we used to do this every night?” he smiled wickedly. “when i’d make you swallow me up?”
you hummed around him and tried to nod, eager for his release and wanting to show him that you in fact did remember— wanting it just as bad as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked him harder.
“h— oh my god—” he fisted your hair and shivered, letting you take over and milk him for all his worth. “i’m gonna— jesus baby slow— slow down slow down— hah!”
satoru’s release shot to the back of your throat and you choked, blinking back tears as you gradually slowed your pace and continued to deliciously suck him through his orgasm and gulp down his cum, him with a death grip on the edge of his desk as he heaved and swallowed, hips jittery and twitching away from you— tip now overly sensitive.
you licked up the last of his cum and stood back up, shimming your skirt back down and satoru shakily stuffing his softened dick back in his pants and zipping it, eyes softening once you reached up and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his over your waist and squeezing you gently.
“so you’re telling me.” you began. “that you haven’t had sex in three years and you fucked me like that?”
he snickered and smoothed a hand over your back. “it’s my instinct sweets! and also because i’m sure rin did a horrendous freaking job—”
you laughed and rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek before looking at him fully.
“i’m serious you know.”
he raised a brow. “about what?”
“about marrying you. even more so now.”
and just when he was about to pick you up and spin you around and jump up and down, he stilled— face sickishly paling more than it already was.
because satoru was keeping something else from you… a condition between the living and the dead and one he overlooked entirely because he was selfishly desperate for you and just wanted you with him again, like the way he had you when he was alive.
“what toru?”
“huh?” his eyes snapped to yours, and he quickly shook his head. “oh nothing nothing!”
his mind was frantically pushing it to the back, ignoring it and wanting to go through with the one thing he’d practically been dreaming of his entire living and dead life— marriage with you.
this was fine. this was okay.
right?
“white or black.”
you tilted your head. “what?”
“you’ll see… but choose!” he grinned. “white or black?”
a slow giddy smile grew on your face.
“black.”
satoru waved his hand and you stilled, the clothes on your skin changing and morphing into something completely anew, your eyes landing on his black and white button up suit now and head quickly dropping down to yourself— gasping once it registered in your flabbergasted brain.
you were wearing a black wedding gown, beautiful and classy as you picked up and felt the soft silk material between your fingertips, your tule sheer veil intricate as you looked behind you then— it long and stretching for what seemed like miles across the floor with gorgeous embroidery at the base of it.
it was heavenly.
your gaze snapped back to his, and he smiled fondly, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.
“three times.” he murmured, and you picked up on what he was referring to, tightening your grip on his hand and nodding.
“beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.”
and the room spun around you, so astronomically fast that you almost doubled over in stifling nausea as the wind whipped through your hair and veil, expecting to land in the attic and finally outside that damn model when in reality, you were in a church cathedral as soon as your surroundings had stopped spinning… and one that looked exactly like the one in winter river.
“are we…” you looked around. “are we still in the model?”
he shook his head. “nope! i was focusing my mind here when you were saying my name… we’re in winter river baby.”
you smiled, the atmosphere around you soft and serene as the dimly lit candles around you quietly flickered, a random lilac colored hue across the cathedral and one you assumed was placed by satoru himself as he took your hands in his, almost in a haste too, but choosing to brush the observation aside.
this was wrong… and satoru knew it.
but he pushed it to the back of his head again.
“we are gathered here today—”
“shit!”
you jumped and whipped your head to the side, breathing out and shoulders relaxing once you saw it was just your church’s pastor that you’d known since birth— a strange far off look in his eye that you deemed to be something that satoru did, for there was no way he was up at the crack of fucking dawn right now to do a wedding.
“sorry!” you laughed. “is he… is he okay?”
“oh yeah he’s fine! he’s actually still sleeping.” he let go of one of your hands and patted the pastors head. “i’m manipulating his head for a little bit. just until you’re my wife.”
his wife.
you nodded, cheeks so warm as you tried to refrain from jumping over how excited you were at the thought of finally fulfilling the vows you had placed on each other when you were young— them now nurturing into something real.
“dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the love of satoru gojo and y/n y/m in holy matrimony.”
he shouldn’t do this to you.
“today, they declare their intention to build a life together, sharing their joys and their challenges, and supporting one another in pursuit of their dreams.”
he can’t— he can’t build a life with you… can he?
he pushed his worries back again and gripped your hands tighter.
“do you, satoru gojo, take y/n y/m to be your lawfully wedded wife? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”
this is wrong.
but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
“i do.”
“and do you, y/n y/m, take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”
for as long as you both shall live.
satoru can’t live.
“i d—”
“stop.”
you froze.
“what?” you asked worriedly. “what’s wrong?”
“i’m no better than the man i was when i first died.”
the look in his eyes was… odd, and it only further confused you.
“i don’t—”
“i can’t let you marry me baby.”
your heart dropped.
“what?”
“i told you that if you married me it would break my contract and i would be a free man and that’s true…” he began. “but there’s something else that i didn’t tell you... i— i kept it from you.”
oh fuck.
“what are you talking about toru.” your voice was low and heedful, almost like a warning to him, and he wanted to slam his head against the wall for being so fucking reckless again.
“if you—” he breathed in and shook his head, letting go of your hands and letting his fall tight at his sides, balling up. “if you marry me, you’re freeing me…”
he gnawed at his lip.
“but i’m killing you.”
your blood ran cold and drained from your face, words entirely at a loss and useless as your brain tried to process what the fuck he just told you.
kill you?
“marrying me is like exchanging your soul with the dead.” satoru slowly shook his head. “you’ll die sweets… i can’t— i can’t do that to you.”
satoru was desperate to for you, so much so that he was willing to hide such a detrimental part of the marriage clause until the time came, choosing to play freaking stupid and tune it out in the hopes that in the end, he would be brave enough to go through with it just to keep you and not ever have to say goodbye again.
but it was wrong. so incredibly immoral and wrong and he felt like a monster for even trying to do it, for letting it go as far as it did and have you standing there in front of him in your pretty gown and veil— just like how he’d imagined it when his blood was pumping and his heart was beating, and just like how he’d imagined it even now, shriveled up dead veins and all.
this is what fate had chosen for the two of you.
and though it took forever for satoru to accept it… you and him were simply not meant to be.
for you were meant to live, and satoru was meant to die.
“you disgraceful bafoon! you insolent crook!”
the big doors of the cathedral kicked open and juno walked through, adam and barbara maitland running behind her and trying to pull her back, the both of them spouting reasonings and explanations.
“this is her choice juno!—”
“she wants to let her do it!—”
“the kid’s just in love!—”
“button it or i’m sending you back to the house!” juno grumbled at them, turning back around and pointing menacingly at satoru once she reached you both, her brittle old lady perfume wafting in your nostrils.
“juno!” satoru greeted with faux cheerfulness, eyes wide and alarmed. “good to see you hah! you look livelier than the last time i saw y—”
“what the hell do you think you’re doing boy?” she spat, eyes switching to you next. “and you! young lady— this man is a spirit!”
“i—i know—”
“juno they know each other.” barbara spoke up gently. “they grew up together when he was alive.”
“yes they were in a relationship this isn’t him trying to trick her into anything—”
“no but it is.” satoru exhaustedly whined, cutting adam off as he ran his hands through his snowy hair. “she didn’t know about the clause… i just told her now.”
silence.
“you didn’t tell her about the clause?!—”
“are you out of your mind you cockroach?!—”
“you’re doing what you did before!—”
“i know!” satoru exclaimed over the yells of scolding and belittlement. “i know i know that’s why i told her just now… i’m not letting her do it i— i couldn’t.”
he turned to you.
“baby i want you. i need you and that’s why i didn’t say anything like a fucking dingbat because i’m tired of living forever without you... it sucks.”
you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
“but this isn’t fair to you at all. you deserve to live man… i can’t— i won’t drag you down with me.”
“toru—”
“the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.” juno interjected, her gaze looking at satoru sincerely for once that it was a strange sight for him.
she placed a hand on her chest. “i’m sorry that your love was separated by death, truly. i sympathize with you. i can’t think of anything more cruel.”
you both solemnly nodded.
“but the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.” she repeated. “so even though you two move on from this and go back to being what you are, satoru will stay like this and you will not. you will grow.”
juno addressed you directly and you listened with a heavy heart— the use of satoru’s actual given name now from her instead of ‘beetlejuice’ adding a layer of somber seriousness.
“and let’s just say this clause didn’t exist and you get to marry her and she stays alive… satoru will still stay and you will grow. do you both understand what i’m trying to say?”
you quickly wiped the corner of your eyes, satoru peeking over at you sadly.
“i won’t tell you what i think the right choice is young lady.” she continued. “the dead aren’t even supposed to associate with the living like this… but weigh the consequences of either path and see which one you want to walk in.”
she stepped a bit closer, holding eye contact with you.
“but let me make one thing clear— the power of the living is greater than the dead. if you choose to marry him, you will break his contract forever and free him of his violations. but if you do, you will die and be one of us.”
either path is difficult.
to sacrifice his freedom, or to sacrifice your life?
but you knew that a life without satoru was nothing and bleak…. you had lived it for three years.
were you willing to return to that? just to keep your heart beating? and say goodbye to satoru for good?
you didn’t want to live in a world that didn’t have him in it. you didn’t want to live in a world where you remembered satoru for longer than you’d known him, and the thought only made you absolutely sick to your stomach as you envisioned the rest of your life without the person who knew you best.
it was almost easy… you didn’t have to weigh the consequences at all.
your path was satoru.
“we’re getting married.”
“what?!” satoru frantically shook his head. “no sweets no we’re not.”
“yes we are.” you pushed. “this isn’t for you to decide it’s my choice and i choose you—”
“and i’m not letting you.” he countered. “you’re choosing wrong so unbelievably wrong—”
“but i’m not though!” you argued. “literally explain to me right now how me stuck in a world that doesn’t have you in it is better than—”
“y/n you need to live.” he cut you off. “i died, not you it’s not supposed to be you alright? i can’t let you do this.”
tears slipped from your eyes and you wiped them right away.
“do you not— sniff— do you not want me do you want me to go away what—”
“no…” he stepped forward and cupped your cheeks. “that’s the last thing i want and you know that…”
“then why won’t you marry me?” you hiccuped. “why won’t you let me stay with you?”
“baby— life is so unbelievably precious.” he moved strands of your hair away from your face. “do you have any idea what i would give to have it again? to feel my body actually working for a change instead of it just being nothing?”
you continued to cry, your hands clutching his wrists.
“i don’t want you to take that away from yourself because of me… i want you breathing. i want your little heart pumping and your cheeks warm, i want you to move on.”
“i— hic!— i don’t want to move on from you—”
“you have to sweets.” he quickly wiped his eyes before cupping your cheeks again. “we’re not meant to be baby and i hate so much that we aren’t… and i’m sorry.”
“toru stop it—”
“please live for me okay? for the both of us. and don’t forget me either please don’t forget me—”
“why are you—” you harshly wiped your eyes. “why are you talking like that what are you doing—”
“i don’t think i should be around you anymore baby.”
“huh?!” your eyes narrowed. “are you serious?”
“satoru—”
juno raised a hand, stopping barbara from interjecting.
“it won’t be good for either of us if i stick around...” he sniffled. “i need to stay away from you because if i don’t, i might try to trick you again into giving up your soul and i can’t have that.”
“my soul?” you spat. “take it i don’t want it without you i told you already—”
“please try to understand.” he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. “please.”
“no—”
“i’ll see you soon okay?” satoru let go of your face. “graduate please. have kids and get married and stuff… travel.”
you were supposed to do all of that with him.
“satoru no listen to me!—”
“i love you.”
“stop!—”
satoru’s grief was monumental, but his love for you was greater, choosing to let you go for the sake of your life.
he looked to juno and she sighed through her nose, somehow knowing exactly what he was silently asking for, stepping forward and lifting a hand.
“satoru please i wanna stay with you!—”
juno sharply moved her hand to the side and you were pulled to a blinding white abyss, dream like and fuzzy as you felt all muscles in your body relax, your mind completely blank and free of the heartbreak and loss and sorrow for a little, floating through a cloud of soft serenity as it brought you in and tried to clear the pain in your heart.
you weren’t aware of where you were or what juno had done, but your thoughts were distant and muffled as you let it engulf you entirely in its welcoming arms, you sleepy and drowsy until the blinding white abyss slowly shrunk down to a pure black, quiet void, the nerves in your body twitching little by little until you were finally consciously aware of your limbs and mind, but you too tired still to open your eyes.
you cruelly dreamed of satoru still. of him alive.
and you weren’t sure how long you had been in this weird pit of tranquility, or how long you were asleep for until you were jerked awake and ripped from it entirely.
“hey— y/n?”
you shot awake, sitting up and whipping your head around.
you were back in your dorm.
“are you okay? why are you sleeping on the floor?”
you looked up, your roommate standing there with a weirded out expression.
“and what are you wearing?”
your gaze shifted downward, and the minute you saw your black wedding dress and veil folded neatly next to you, memories of what had happened hours prior came achingly flooding in as you scrambled to stand up on your feet, scaring your roommate and leaving her to grumble in her head about how she wished the system didn’t put her to room with the campus ghost girl.
“sorry! i have to go thank you though for waking me u—”
your voice trailed off down the hall, you running through and ignoring the weirded out looks from other students as you sprinted out of the building and down the street, engulfing the skirt of your gown up in your arms so you wouldn’t accidentally trip over it and eat shit on the ground, the goal of getting back to the maitland’s house the only thing on your mind as you ran.
your lungs burned by the time you got to the bottom of the hill, and you thanked anyone that was willing to listen for allowing winter river to exist as the smallest town you had ever known, sparing you from running a full fledged marathon just to get to the house as you heaved and tried to catch your breath, a little sweaty and hot as you began the hike up the hill.
you hoped he was there.. in the attic.
you hoped to god that he was.
reaching the top, you continued to trudge across the dirt driveway and up the porch steps, your foot lifting and just about to make contact with the old wooden platform until an invisible force grabbed your ankle and pulled you back, literally dragging you away from the house and down the hill over the grass as you screamed and thrashed for it to let you go.
satoru.
and you tried again, hiking up the hill with your bundled up wedding skirt in your arms, reaching the top faster than last time and choosing to run up the porch steps instead to see if you could outrun his ghostly abilities.
except you couldn’t, because the invisible force caught you by the ankle again just as your fingers grazed the doorknob, yanking you away and down the hill until it left you screaming and huffing in frustration at the bottom.
you continued to do that for the rest of the fucking day, and everyday for that matter, for an entire week straight.
walking up the hill, reaching the top, getting reeled back, running up the hill and getting sent back down again, sprinting for it only to get dragged away once more as the repeated cycle you had set for yourself happened over and over, until by your last attempt you couldn’t even walk up the hill anymore, satoru having put a huge invisible wall around the house that was impossible to get through.
you were angry. angry and bitter that he was doing this.
was it so bad to just want to spend the rest of your undying life with him? is that not what he wanted this entire time? why was he so adamant on damning you to live a life of suffering and— and loneliness? a life without him?
you didn’t know what to do. your psychic abilities were only for sensing the dead and being able to see them— nothing to do with calling forth spirits or summoning them at any given place and time, so there was no way for you to call satoru no matter how much you wanted to or tried.
and you cried. you cried and you sobbed just like how you did when he first died, except somehow worse knowing that there was a chance to be together with him forever and him not wanting it… not wanting you.
but you waited anyways, hoping that he would come around and change his mind, that he would bring down that stupid invisible wall and let you inside the house and back to him, counting down the days and hours and minutes until it became clearer to you that satoru wasn’t going to change his mind.
and by the third week, you had almost entirely given up.
you felt nothing. absolutely nothing as you slugged through your classes or your day to day errands, not giving a shit about anything that you had to do in this world for you had always loved the other world more— the world of spirits and the netherworld and the great beyond, the world that had satoru in it, as you appreciated and admired that one more ever since you were a kid with your parents… more than the one you were currently in— as this one was filled with ignorance and criticism.
you felt helpless… and maybe satoru was right.
if he was willing to give up an opportunity to keep you forever, then maybe that’s just the way it goes… maybe you should just accept it, and you choosing to think of the latter instead of begging and kneeling at nothing for satoru to come back and get you and marry you— was helping the bitterness in your heart grow and get you by, it at least stopping you from crying in the middle of your lectures or the grocery store and weirding people out anyways.
maybe you should accept the fact that you and him were not meant to be.
after an entire month, you had given up.
and satoru’s grave was the closest you knew you’d get to him, permanently divided by dirt and soil and grass… six feet under and totally out of your reach, his tombstone engraved and pretty and one you couldn’t believe you had forgotten about as it sat here alone for years right under your nose— you visiting it now for the millionth time as you placed your book bag down and sat criss crossed on the grass, mindlessly tugging and breaking off pieces of it as you sat there.
you sighed deeply and hugged your knees up to your chest, the day surprisingly a sunny one as chirping birds flittered past you through the wind, tiny little white butterflies occasionally stopping by to sit on your arm or satoru’s tombstone as you sat there in thought… not really sure what to think, but comforted by the fact that the engravings on his stone reminded you that he was once very much alive and real.
there was an odd wavering in your heart, and you had a feeling that this was going to be the last time you were visiting his grave, for you figured it was time to finally do what he wanted you to do— move on and forget him.
“don’t move on.”
you stiffened.
that voice… was your mind hallucinating now? jesus chri—
“don’t move on from me please… and— and don’t forget me. i take it all back.”
you heard footsteps draw nearer across the grass and you turned your head, eyes widening and unbelieving as you saw satoru standing there with a pleading anxious expression, him still dressed in his black and white suit that he had on for the wedding.
was it actually him?
“how are you…” you trailed off, your mind having difficulty processing how he was there. “how are you outside the house? i thought the contract—”
“juno gave me a hall pass…” he explained softly. “it expires at the end of the day.”
you hummed, itching to jump up and wrap your arms around him and cling to him, but stopping yourself from doing so as you still didn’t know why he was here, and you were quite frankly still bitter and hurt from him sending you away.
you slightly turned your body. “why are you here?”
“because i can’t stay away from you.”
your heart skipped a beat as he crouched down to your level, your eyes greedily running across every feature of his face and committing it to memory, as you now had him directly in front of you again instead of having to rely on recollections of him to try and mend your aching heart.
and satoru was doing the same.
“i started to sense you distancing from me and… and i had this feeling that you were starting to listen and move on and forget me and it made me fucking ill. which is crazy because i’m dead… but i was literally ill sweets.”
you let a tiny soft smile play at your lips.
“i can’t take it.” he spoke again, shaking his head. “i can’t take the thought of you forgetting me. not now, not ever, and i don’t know why i was stupid enough to try and convince myself that i could watch you do something like that even if its the right thing.”
“you sent me away.”
“i did baby…” he reached over and gently caressed your cheek. “and i regret that so fucking much. i’m sorry.”
“toru i need you to understand that you can’t make choices like that for me.”
“i know.” he mumbled and dropped his hand, eyes casting down. “i’m stupid.”
“but i also need you to understand, that i have no interest in living in a world that doesn’t have you in it… it’s not worth it now that you’re gone.”
you tilted your head to try and catch his gaze, continuing once his blue eyes flickered back to yours.
“i would die for you, and i would die without you. i look for you in everything that i do and you expecting me to just forget you is cruel.”
“no i don’t want you to forget me anym—”
“what’s life to you?” you asked him suddenly. “what does it feel to you? and mean?”
he stared at you with pinched brows, his face endearing but sad all at the same time.
“warm.” he murmured. “beautiful and… pure. it’s peaceful and it means you.”
your heart fluttered and you smiled, and satoru fell in love with you all over again— something you conquered when he was alive, and something you conquered again in death.
“that’s what life is toru.” you cupped his cheek. “to me it’s not— this.”
you gestured around you. “it’s not my body or my heart, it’s not the sun and it’s not breathing. it’s you. i feel life through you and i always have… because life doesn’t literally mean where i am now and neither does it mean the netherworld baby… it means you and me.”
satoru didn’t even realize he was crying until you wiped his cheeks, your words serving an entirely new perspective to him about the living and the dead and he felt peace.
because yes satoru was dead… but he was still living. living because he had you as the embodiment of it, and living because his soul still permitted him to see you again and be with you, to look at you with his own undead eyes and feel warmth like he did before.
but not literal warmth from your body or pumping blood or a beating heart.
but warmth from your soul. from who you are.
that’s what life was to him… and what life was to you.
satoru wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head as he cradled you and cried, finally now no longer mourning his past life like he’d been doing for the past three years, and no longer wishing for it back either or thinking that physically living in this world was the better option for you just because it meant you were breathing.
where he was, was just fine. and wherever you chose to go would be fine too.
but you chose to go with him, something that had been set since the moment you met under the magnolia tree back in middle school— living or dead, paris or italy, your choice would always and forever be him.
satoru proposed to you right then and there at his gravesite, flying to one knee as soon as you both stood back up and him manifesting the biggest diamond rock you had ever seen in your life, laughing and crying together as he slipped it over your ring finger, for your marriage meant the binding of the living and the dead, and the binding of you and him— a new beginning.
but this time your wedding wasn’t at the cathedral, but under the pretty magnolia tree where you had met, now accompanied by the maitlands as barbara cried, and juno as she herself officiated the wedding, you thinking— hoping that she grew a soft spot for satoru, and that behind her stern resting face, she was glad satoru was finally a free man and granted a second chance.
giving your soul up was nothing to you, and it didn’t hurt at all either… you feeling lighter in exchange actually… happy, with satoru standing in front of you and with a massive fucking grin on his face, shiny and bright as he practically jumped in his spot in excitement over you finally being his wife and that he got to keep you— and right this time… no lies or tricks or hidden secrets, but genuine authentic sacrifice instead, for it was the purest form of love.
because this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
it had decided that satoru gojo was meant to die… but it had also decided to bring you back to him as well— to the house of the maitlands, to the attic he was banished to, and back together again in each others cold arms where you belonged, defying the laws of the living and the dead and proving that life doesn’t end even after your hearts stopped beating.
fate had decided that you were both meant to be. that was always a fact.
and fate had decided that you and satoru gojo were meant to live, with unbeating hearts and icy cold skin, but souls still warm for each other nonetheless.
because through sickness and in health… death could not do you both apart.
you and satoru.
together for eternity.
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a lovely and incredibly beautiful fanart of this fic can be found here by @courtneedsleep !! <33
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taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @fushigurioo @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @saelov3 @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @stilettoheelz @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @rose-tinted-kalopsia @runfrme @unofficialsapphire @dee-writes-anime @megumisluciouslashes @peachyaeger @yourstru1y4ever @yoonights @skendos @babylambdietcoke @yunstarz @dinomdubs @kalulakunundrum @s777athv @sugoroo @wastednightsonyou @miri222 @jayawaya @dazailover4ever @courtneedsleep @kcch-ns @halovianembrace @tsukuhoe @kayamor @lupicalbestwolf @therealkurapikakurta @amarahi123 @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic
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lcverwrites · 4 months ago
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the lovers ― aegon targaryen
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summary ... aegon had never known the tender touch of love, from the cradle as a babe, he was cursed to be unlovable. his mother held no love for him, only the safety he provided her. his father never spared him a glance, to sickness struck to see past his golden daughter. his siblings were indifferent to him, never really having the want to dig past his drunkard front. but then came her... aegon never understood why she loved him, what she saw in him that others could not, what he could not see in himself. but thank the gods above, there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep her devotion, because the unlovable had finally found someone who loved him; and who he loved in turn. pairing ... aegon ii targaryen x tyrell!reader (wife reader) warnings ... self loathing, talks of being unlovable, strained family dynamics, targcest (mentioned, but not seen), hurt/comfort, angst, trying to heal from unhealthy relationships, mentions of drinking, supportive wife mode note ... I want this fictional man a healthy amount, as you can clearly see. I might make some more things for this couple in the future, cause they've been on my mind for a loooong time. I just want to love this man for a second, after the shit storm they put him through this season. Let me know if you want more of aegon x tryell!reader, perhaps some smut between these two lovers 😏🫶🏻
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⠀⠀⠀Voices spoke muffled words around Aegon, drowning him in their monotonous sounds, unimportant and distant from his thoughts. Aegon knew he should have been listening to his merriment of council members, they were talking about the needs of the realm, the wants of the smallfolk, the unwarranted needs of the already wealthy lords and ladies in his court, the impending doom awaiting them across the sees, with his sister plotting to take the crown from his very head.
The crown she was once promised, The Realms Delight was worlds away now, and the crown snuggly sat upon Aegon's head, the doing of the Mother and Grandsire, the controlling hands that guided Aegon under the guise of their affection and want to see him succeed, to bring the promised peace Viserys once spoke about.
But Aegon knew better now.
His mother held no love for her eldest son. She held him at arms length, with contempt, her lips pursed as if she couldn't ever fathom smiling at her own son. With a faux guiding hand, never reaching for a tender touch, only a harsh slap to awaken him from thoughts of straying from the path laid out for him. Alicent Hightower liked to believe she loved her children to the best of her ability, but Aegon knew better, knew that her love came with conditions, and Aegon's was to keep the safety of her family, even if he was killed in the process.
His Grandsire was a bitter old man, who reached above his station as hand of the king, all but ready to snatch the crown from Aegon himself. He was the driving force for Aegon's ascension, seeing the malleable drunk as a way to reach his ultimate prize, to be King through Aegon. There wasn't a bone in Otto Hightower that cared for Aegon past the power he could bring him.
Aegon could hear his mothers docile voice, sweeter than those of the men whom sat around her. Her words blurred into a flurry of movement, her lips parts around the words he wasn't taking in.
He watched his mother. Seeing his lips in her mirror image, full and pink, a slight downtick in the right corner, a frown always threatening to take her tender disposition by the throat. He could see the shape of her eyes, wide like a doe, but all innocence was washed away by a bland rage that barely simmered beneath their dark pools of amber liquid, subdued and boring. She could see her picking at the skin of her nailbeds, a bad habit she never outgrew in her youth, a habit she passed onto Aegon, if his red and raw nails were a certain sign.
He could see so much of himself in Alicent, in his own mother, a mirror into Aegon's soul. But all she could see in Aegon was his father, and she despised him for it.
His gaze traversed from his mother, to the stoic statue was his brother. Foreboding and concealed all at the same time, Aemond was a fearsome foe.
Aemond spoke little, hums of approval passed his sealed lips, displeased puffs of air fled from his nose. When words did leave his lips, they were precise, vicious and cold in the manner, strait to the point, never one to flounder and flaunt with unnecessary grandeur. He spoke as if he were a worldlier man, knew the bitterments was war and what was required to secure their victory, through fire and blood, through destruction and death. Aegon didn't know if it meant their own destruction or their foes, Aemond's want for power knew now bounds.
It's what desired him to his Grandsire.
He saw a likeness in Aemond that he didn't see in Aegon, and he held hatred and resentment for his oldest grandson.
Aemond paid no mind to Aegon, as if he was not there, the chare beneath him empty, no figurehead to be seen. He spoke to the counsel with the convection of a King, hand perched on the hilt of his sword, as if ready to strike at any given moment, lest one of the lords spoke against him, as if it were treason.
As young boys, Aegon and Aemond were like most boys he supposed. They poked and prodded at one another, until one of them bled, pleading for the other for mercy, running and crying to their mother. Often it was Aegon tormenting Aemond for his lack of dragon, for being the boring little know it all, smacking him against in the training yard in the name of bettering his skills, but Aegon wanted his little brother to feel even just a moment of the bitter resentment he felt feasting in his insides, sloshing around with the sweetened wine he drank himself into a stupor with.
He wanted his brother to feel small, unwanted, unloved, just as he felt. But no matter what Aegon did, his brother would always have their mother behind him, caressing his with the tender touch he craved. The lick his wounds with her tender voice, chaste kisses to the crown to his head, all the while berating Aegon in the same breath.
Aegon knew he shouldn't have treated Aemond so, they were both circumstance of their family, they were the only people who could truly understand each other, but resentment flooded Aegon's bones, strengthening his hatred for everyone whom shared his blood, and couldn't taste the bitter bite of his flesh.
Aemond resented Aegon for what he was given, just because he had the audacity to be born first. He was given the crown of their founding family, he was given the undeserving respect of the smallfolk, he was given the time and energy the the King's counsel. He was given the best tutors and training teachers, but he never respected what has trust upon him, not in the way Aemond would have welcomed him. Now his brothers days were spent on the throne he desired so, drunk in his cups and stupidly stuttering around like the idiot Aemond has always known Aegon to be.
Aegon leaned back in his uncomfortable chair, hand reaching out to play with the ball before him, the marble feeling cool beneath his heated palms. He felt as of he were just melting into the wood beneath him, and no one seemed to notice.
Except...
A hand reached for his arm, a delicate little thing, decorated with gentle rings that glimmered in the afternoon light, shimmering shades of glittering gold, azure blue and brilliant emerald. The smooth skin of a palm caressed his forearm, thumb digging into the malleable skin beneath his wrist, as if she knew he was slowly floating away, grounding him to this moment, to her touch.
Oh but she....
She was a marvellous thing. Aegon hadn't seen anything so precious in his life, so delicate, so wonderfully beautiful. There weren't enough words in the world for Aegon to describe her, nothing could ever truly do her justice, and he had tried, many a times, much to her amusement.
The Lady Tyrell had been a gift Aegon knew he wasn't deserving of, it was as if the gods were cursing him to gaze upon the mirror of the Maiden, but never being good enough, strong enough, smart enough to be worthy of even a glimpse in his direction. Aegon would only think himself lucky enough to dream about her gentle touch, to be the lucky man whom would receive her affection, to have her smile at him in a manner he'd never seen a maiden smile before.
Her smile started small, only an upward pulling in the right corner of her lips, inch by inch, her pretty pink lips would stretch in the most delicious curve, revealing the pearls of her teeth, little creased would dip in the skin of her cheeks as she would freely smile, a crinkle would form in her nose, her eyes would glitter with a golden looking happiness, as if you were the centre of her world in that very moment, the very reason she was smiling, like you were the only thing that could make her happy.
Aegon wished he could bottle the feeling her smile encapsulated, pure and true happiness unlike anything Aegon has felt before.
How could a persons smile be so contagious?
Despite his reservations, the Lady Tyrell held no contempt for him. She gazed upon him as if she were seeing him for what he was and she was willing to accept him, bitter soul and all.
The Lady Tyrell squeezed his arm, only once, and it was enough to have Aegon retreating from the narrow tunnel he was burrowing himself into. His gazed picked up from the marble to look upon the visage of his wife.
His Wife.
They'd been married when they were ten and three respectively, much to young to be married, but as is the way Aegon supposed. He hadn't even been given the chance to speak with her, before it was announced in the King's Counsel that they were to be married.
But they've come a long way from those scared children they had been all those years ago.
But the one thing that hadn't changed, was the devotion and love she had bestowed upon Aegon. Day in and day out, there wasn't a moment in time where she didn't love him.
"Perhaps the counsel should take a breath" Her melodic voice pierced through his muffled thoughts, like it always did, his every being was tuned into every sound and moment she made.
"Pardon, your grace?" Lord Lannister paused a moment, looking at her with a look of confusion.
"You have been discussing for hours now" She mildly replied, keeping an easy smile on her lips, looking like the pliant woman they demanded she be. "If we were to be attacked by our foes, they would have done so already, surely you all see this"
"Just because it hasn't happened, does not mean it will not happen" Otto Hightower's condescending voice bounced around the room, looking down upon the Lady Tyrell, as if she were a speck of dirt on his boot.
Aegon clenched his fist, loathing that she was rained down upon by Otto's hatred because she was connected to Aegon.
She never seemed to waiver beneath his gaze, nodding demurely at the Hand, as if she were bending to his whims.
"I do not disagree my Lord" She announced. "But perhaps we have spoken on the themes of war for much to long"
"Your Grace, forgive me for speaking so candidly--"
"Then do not"
All eyes turned to Aegon, who for the first time since the counsel had gathered, had found himself voicing the words that had been rattling around in the back of his throat.
"The Queen has excused you" Aegon bluntly replied, leaning further back in his seat, pulling his arm along with him, turning it just so, allowing his palm to slide right along her. Their fingers gliding together like magnets pulling them together, locking them in place.
Aegon relished the feeling of her warm palm beneath his own, smooth skin against his own rough calloused skin, like silk against leather. The cool metal of her rings biting into his warm skin, a zinging shock to his system.
"Aegon, the counsel needs to speak about--" Alicent tried to gage her son back into the conversation, but Aegon was already detached from everything that was her.
"Your King has dismissed you" Aegon interrupted his mother.
Aegon looked to his mother, seeing her lips parted in surprise. She wasn't used to Aegon snapping at her so, he had always been so willing to bow to his mother, wishing for her affection in return.
But he now knew what love without restraints and conditions tasted like, he craved the affections of his wife, whom would willingly allow him to be loved without limits.
"Fuck off" Aegon waved off the counsel.
He didn't even watch as each member grumbled up their breath about something or the other. He didn't notice the shared look of concern on his Mother and Grandsires faces, he didn't see the glare Aemond had wagered his way, icy and void of any brotherly affection. He didn't see any of it, and if he had, he wasn't sure he would care.
Not when she was gazing upon him as she always had.
With love.
"You may have been too crass my love" She smiled as the last of the counsel left the room, the foreboding doors slamming closed behind Otto Hightower himself, sealing himself out of reach of the King.
"They are a bunch of power hungry cunts" Aegon shrugged.
"Be that as it may" She conceded with a soft smile. She pushed herself from her seat, keeping her hand within Aegon's, walking around her corner of the table, until she was standing directly beside the chair Aegon was currently lounging in. "They are here because they support your cause"
Aegon huffed a breath through his nose.
He used their connected hand to haul his wife's body into his lap, she fell willingly into his embrace, wrapping her free arm around his shoulders.
"I do not wish to speak about them anymore" Aegon announced, shifting his wife further into his lap, until the side of her body was pressed firmly against his chest, the warmth of her body radiating through the thick fabric of her dress.
"Then we shall not" She decided, resting her forehead against his temple.
In this moment, Aegon hadn't ever imagine he would feel a love like this. He couldn't have ever pictured someone would love him for what he was, not for what he could give them.
He placed a gentle kiss against her cheek, enticing a soft smile to paint her pink lips.
Whatever god had decided to bring the two lovers together, he was praying that nothing would bring them apart.
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acid-ixx · 2 months ago
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to you, my greatest passion (soft yandere! batfam x traumatized! reader oneshot)
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reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
tw: allusions to stockholm syndrome, flawed relationship (they have no concept of boundaries) and mild descriptions of injuries and torture (not by the batfam). read until the end for an author's note. happy 4k followers to me :)) uh leave comments if u like this type of analysis and want to see more. i had no direction for writing this. please don't let this flop huhu i might delete this since i don't like it
as much as i love my angst, we all need something soft at times, and moments with yan!batfam with a reader who is absolutely fucking broken from their past that the mere implication that someone could love them is enough to let them melt into whoever's chest they lay upon that night.
just, hurt/comfort. one that heals the soul in its overly possessive embrace. the same way chapped lips peck softly on your cheeks, muscled arms caress your fragile, shivering body, and legs tangle upon yours in a cacophony of warm, cozy blankets.
where as the longer time passes in the manor, the more you learn to love. to let go of the painful memories your tormenters left you. to allow past scars to heal into a mere visage of what once was streaks coated in blood. your family acts as your new abductors, yes, but how could you hold your freedom against them when it is them that comfort you from drowning through the deepest depths of your nightmares?
nightmares of the past, of the knives that break through your already gashed skin, or the ropes that burn through bruises and laceration— every time you wake up crying, with tears running down your cheeks and a pained cry; a recollection of the torture you were subject to, it is them that come running to your room not a moment after.
it's bruce's tall, domineering form that crumbles into soft, snug pillows for you. your father arms that punches criminals into prison become the shoulder you lean on. calloused fingers rub your cheeks, wiping away your tears, holding your face in his palms like you're the most fragile thing on earth— and you are. every time he looks at your dampened eyes and sniffling nose, he gets reminded of how lonely he was as a child, who lost his parent too young to the cruelty of the world, of gotham and her unyielding coldness. and when he reminisces, he begins to cage you in his arms a tad bit tighter, begins to comfort you longer and softer than he has ever done with anyone else, as if he is reassuring himself. it is with you that his vulnerability, that fear of loss becomes all too stronger. and every time you cry a bit longer, your hold on his sleeves becoming unyielding, does bruce become crueler in his pursuit of fighting crime, a lesson to himself that the people he punishes are those with hands capable enough to harm you, his precious, his pearl that glints throughout the moonlight.
whenever your father is unavailable, it's dick who runs to you, with all the intention to provide you comfort. it's him who calls you his baby bird, as he reassures you that you're no burden in his eyes every time you scream in terror as your sleep. it's him who loves to drown you in his affection, always near, always close, never far and never too much. physically, he's the most doting to a fault. tender, yet tight were his hugs. his kisses to your cheeks and your forehead always linger, as if hesitant to release itself from its rightful place. it's a testiment to how much he loves you, how he's incapable of separating himself from you. god, he loves you so much he wishes he'd just melt right into your skin, so that you actually finally realize how you're the most important thing in the world to him. you, his baby bird. if he had met you sooner, quite earlier, right after his parent's have died, then maybe he could've managed his anger better, could've learned to cope with you through the battles you both fought. it's with you that dick feel unbearably euphoric, ready to spill his love to the point where tears consume his eyes and his head laid on your chest refuses to detach itself.
jason isn't familiar with what warmth feels like, not anymore. but when he sees your hapless state, he sees a reflection of himself in that abandoned warehouse. broken, defiled, hurt. with nothing to comfort you from the cold other than the ropes that burn through your skin and the adrenaline that runs through your veins. he forgots what solace feels like, what it means, but through your shared trauma does jason learn. he learns to talk to you, with you, learns to pinpoint each and every emotion he felt at the time, what you felt inside that putrid basement. he learns to manage his grief because he doesn't want to anger himself looking at you, at just how much justice can only serve so many. the longer you talk to jason, the more he becomes softer, yet hungrier. he learns how to hold you in a way a brother learns to hold his baby sibling for the first time when conceived. he relearns the warmth he felt, like when he was finally able to be good enough to be the successor to the title of robin, when he felt you drool on his chest when you trusted him enough to sleep in his room. yet this time that feeling was accompanied with that ominous, distracting essence. one that makes jason's knuckles crack and have him prepare his guns, as he discovers that you can never truly erase the past. and even though it might take years for him to be your ideal brother, he could at least be your sole protector.
then there's tim, who never truly had the opportunity to develop that deeper sense of love he wanted to feel until he was officially adopted into the wayne family right after his parents' death. don't get him wrong, he loves his mom and dad, and so does he loves his current family— but it's obsession that drives him nonetheless. the need to prove himself, to gather information about everyone to know who they truly are; beyond that there's nothing more than shallowness, a neverending hole he can't satisfy. but with you? oh god, you. to tim, you're his everything. you devour his being whole. with you, there's always something new. the need to track every single thing about you leads him into this cycle of want and need that coagulates into desire, into drive. every time you smile, or laugh, or frown, he gains newer intel about you, one he loops into the deepest crevices of his brain at a constant, you are his constant. but staying right behind you can only do so much. and as he sits right beside you in bed, awkwardly comforting you through the ways he mirrored off from his brothers: a sloppy kiss to your knuckles, a joke cracked here and there, and wiping your eyes and nose with his sleeves; tim learns that stalking can only do so much. he learns what it feels like to be needed for emotional connection and nothing else and that only further motivates him to be perfect for you, and to be with you, his sibling, more often than to simply live right under your nose.
and damian, your baby brother, who's unsurprisingly the one who sleeps in your room, or has you sleep in his room, the most. damian tells himself he's incapable of love, of showing it or reciprocating it. but for you, he tries, and like jason, he learns. he discovers just how depraved both of you are when it comes to love. it enlightens you both and it makes damian feel a deeper sense of connection with you than anyone else. with you, he feels like a child: vulnerable, yet uncaring and free, like the true meaning of being a robin, one the soars through the skies with no grandfather or mother or league to watch your every step as their successor. all the times you cry, he silently sobs with you, holding your cheeks down to his level with scarred palms. silent, yet comforting, he'd allow his smaller form to simply become your teddy bear whilst he whispers consolations. about how strong his older sibling is, how precious you are for being comfortable with him to speak of your problems, how you're everything to damian just as he wishes to be the world for you. it makes you think you're more immature that him, it makes him grateful that he has you. even though he doesn't say it, he shows through actions just how truly important you are whenever he draws a sword towards his enemies, thinking about you and his unsaid promises.
nights where you're reminded of that solitary confinement, of the darkness that creeps into your vision and the voices that pierce through your ears. nights where you feel you've exhausted yourself of hope, where what was once warmth that hugs your heart is now that frigid, yet burning spikes that penetrates into the confidence that you'll somehow, someday, run away from that hellhole— those were nights you thought you'd never live with proper sleep. but as one or two of them holds you in their embrace whenever your nightmares consume your being, you're slowly allowing your established walls to fall apart, all for the mere implication of their love.
who would save you, if not for them? their hushed whispers of consolation, hands that wrap around your figure, and fingers that knead your cheeks provide you that deep sated comfort you always wanted. the sleeves they use to wipe away both saltine liquid and snot, to slowly silence your blubbering rambles, your inconsolable crying; it's warmer than the basement you used to be locked in as a child, with dripping faucets the only source of your water— they saved you once before, who's to say they won't save you a thousand times more?
every time you feel like crying, every time that familiar faulty tap in your eyes begins to dampen against ashen skin, it's them that asks you if you're alright. even if you grit your teeth, even if you seeth or bite or beat or punch or kick, to punish yourself, to cope through the trauma, to not feel nothing.
every time pain begins to sear through your skin, it's your grandfather, father, brothers and sisters that huddle around you and tell you 'you're safe here, in the manor, with us'.
every time they spend hours, ditching patrol nights, cooking your comfort food, reading your favorite books, watching movies for hours, ignoring your assigned sleep schedule, kissing your scarred hands gently, reverently, cuddling your form against their strong ones as a silent promise that with them, there's nothing to harm you no more— you'd feel lighter every time, a tad happier, even. slowly, but surely, melting against the confines of your adorned cage and the embrace of your loving captors.
every time they help you heal, it makes you forgive, and it makes you forget their prior kidnapping in return of building new memories with them, in a safer haven, with nobody to hurt you any longer, with nobody to bash your head against concrete walls, to punish you. you who is underserving of the circumstances bought upon you back then.
safe, a word you thought you'll never feel, a word you didn't even know existed in the crevices of your heart. but it is with them that you slowly start to associate safe with family.
the family that you've come to love and cherish in your own imperfect ways, the same way a stray dog becomes too loyal to a passerby when given bones for leftovers every day.
but you're not an animal, and you're not a pavlovian dog meant to be conditioned. no, you're their baby, their love, their treasure and their only one. the love they feed you exceeds beyond leftovers. only you can devour them wholly, the same way they cloak your world in the love that fills that neverending pit in your heart.
you're not biologically related to any of them in any way, too. yet it was all a matter of coincidence that they stumbled upon you.
but really, past is past.
then is then.
now it's just you and them.
it's you, with them.
just your family. overbearing, overprotective, overpowering.
but nothing is always over to you. their love isn't too much. how could you tell yourself it's too much? not when you were never given a basis of what is too much. how is one too much when you were never even given enough?
trust is built upon a foundation of connecting with others who can relate with you one way or another, who can see past through your flaws and mistakes— it's a bond that precedes mere acquaintanceship.
you might've met them later than everyone else, but it's you that completes them.
you're the puzzle that completes the family photographs, the goal for bruce to continue his legacy as batman and to ward off all evil, the inspiration for dick to be that aspiring hero everyone sees him to be, the reason jason begins to reform himself for your sake, the purpose for tim's endless pursuit of knowledge, the muse for damian's painting, the subject for his love he thought was no more, the ambition for steph's prolongation despite her countless of failures, the motivation for barbara to seek out all the criminals who have harmed you, the influence for cass to be stronger to protect you, the catalyst for duke to use his metahuman abilities for good, to take out those who walk in broad daylight, as if they weren't involved in your past tortures.
you're everything that they are.
their sunshine and moonlight, their companionship and loneliness, their pain and pleasure, their yin and yan.
their greatest passion.
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a/n: hii guys erm. this is so sudden and also counts as a rant but yk... i feel like quitting this blog but at the same time not. it's just, i feel like writing has been more of an obligation than anything else. it doesn't help the fact that i've only been getting interaction if i were to actually produce something good. beyond that, it feels like people are expecting more of me. i get it, updates are sporadic, they appear in the blink of an eye when you least expect it, but at the same time it's just hard juggling what i want to write and what i feel like i need to write. this blog was primarily to post about my thoughts and to talk to people but lately, every time i open this app to write, i feel these plethora of thoughts and expectations telling me that if i don't do well enough then people would merely ignore whatever i post or it's just bad by standards. and yes i'm grateful for all the people supporting my writing, but at the same time i'm lead to a cycle of me losing my motivation to continue writing. ugh idk what im doing anymore help :((
tl;dr: will i stop writing? no, but at the same time i don't know. someday, i may deactivate this account out of impulse if i feel too much, or not. it depends hehe.
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quimichi · 7 months ago
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₊❏❜ ⋮ WEIRD FETISHES ⌒ - MDNI
warnings: weird fetishes, don't read if you're uncomfortable! Picked the most "normal" or tame ones-also, this is my view and visions of those fetishes
summary: Some rare, unspoken fetishes the characters have.
characters: genshin guys + harbingers x F!Reader
a/n: this is uhhh, interesting? I was bored, wanted to try something yk. I couldn't fit some characters into different fetishes, but you can idk--
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Autassassinophilia
Being in life-threatening situations
❕️EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CONSENT, HE WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY IF YOU SAY SO. IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ
Many say that the thrill of being caught is already hot enough, but it's not enough for him. He wants the adrenaline rushing through his body constantly. It's almost addictive...no, he is addicted already. Fucking you standing, so close to the edge of a cliff or at the edge of a building is good...but not enough. Having you choking him, or him choking you, being close to pass out, is not enough. Giving him head while driving, fingering you while you drive...is.not.enough...so what will be? ♡ Childe Wriothesley Scaramouche Capitano
Cardiophilia
cardiophiles are people who are, quite simply, in love with hearts. they enjoy and are aroused by the sight, sound, and/or feeling of the heart/heartbeat.
❕️EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CONSENT, HE WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY IF YOU SAY SO. IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ
Whenever he holds your hand, his fingers can't help but wander to your wrist, feeling youe pulse. The beats inder his fingertips feel so intimate. Knowing your heart is beating, beating for him is almost to much to handle. And whenever you two cuddle and he's the little spoon, he'll place his head on your chest, listening close to your beating heart...oh how lovely you sound. Your heart beats so strong against his ear, he can literally feel it. ♡ Ayato Baizhu Dottore Albedo Venti
Candaulism
Exposing one's partner or images of their partner to others.
❕️EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CONSENT, HE WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY IF YOU SAY SO. IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ
Oh, how he loves you and your body. Your pretty little head and soul. He's so sure many others will love you just the same (but never as much as he will). He takes pictures of you, has you as his wallpaper even. Lockscreen too! You know your tits are out, cum covered with your tounge sticking out. You're also aware your ass with his dick stuffed in your cunt is also somewhere in his gallery. And many many more. And he just fucking loves to show it off. No one is save, not even the mid 30s guy sittong beside him in the train. The nice grandmother buying her groceries. He'll accidentally or intentionally shove it in their faces, that you belong to him. And he belongs to you. ♡ Lyney Kaeya Itto Heizou
Gynephilia
Females or femininity, regardless of one's own sex or gender identity
❕️ EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CONSENT, HE WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY IF YOU SAY SO. IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ
He'll pay you to get your nails done, you pick the color, shape, length, accessories, anything you want. You want make up too? Have his card and have fun, be wild, be bold, make a statement with that pretty face. No make up at all? Baby, you're such a beautiful woman regardless. You wanna have your hair done? Sure thing, tell him when the appointment is he'll drive you there. At the end of the day all of this and so much more is just for one purpose, to fuck you. He'll pull that hair, watch the mascara run down your pretty cheeks. Taste your lipgloss on his lips. Watch your nails looking stunning around his dick. A goddess like you, should step on a man like him. ♡ Diluc Pantalone Aether Kaveh Al-Haitham Pierro
Aquaphilia
A sexual fetish that involves people swimming, posing, or even drowning in water.
❕️EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CONSENT, HE WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY IF YOU SAY SO. IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT READ
Dw he won't drown you-. You just look so elegant in water, how it hugs your body. How it makes your skin shine and glimmer, the droplets looking like little diamonds carefully placed on your skin by the hands of god himself. Not to mention how beautiful you look in your swim wear...It already happened so often you stopped counting after 20. You two having sex in water. Wheter its in a pool, lake, river or the ocean itself, he can't help himself. Heck, even you in your bathtub is a sight to behold. And if he had to be honest...maybe the bathtub is his favorite. Cause no one will see and hear anything, and it feels way more closer to you...♡ Neuvillette Freminet Kazuha Dainsleif
Had no idea what to do with these- Cyno Gorou Thoma Tighnari Xiao Xingqiu Zhongli
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bloodibambiidoll · 8 months ago
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Her Emperor, His Destiny
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(Alpha!Paul Atreides x Omega!BeneGesserit!Reader)
Summary: Ever since Paul presented no omega has smelled remotely appealing to him. His only reprieve is his dreams that have been filled with nothing but an angelic voice calling out to him, the silhouette of a woman he can’t quite make out, and the sweetest saccharine smell. Wk: 3.2k
Warnings: General omegaverse behaviors, knotting, scenting, marking, breeding, Paul and reader are a soul bound pair, inappropriate use of the voice(by both Paul & Reader) , fluff, kinda love making? Idk this is much softer than my usual smut. I think that’s it, lmk if I missed any!! 18+MNDI!!
A/N: Listen… I know this is left field for me but I made a promise to myself that I would start writing for ME again, and that means writing whatever I want. I saw Dune 2 and I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Paul is so alpha coded I feel like it was dropped in my lap.
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Paul expected the air to be different, smell different, out in the desert planes of Arkkis. Thus far it’s as he expected. The smell of spice and sand permeate the air to the point that it’s over powering, flooding every single one of your senses. The sand lingers on any inch of exposed skin practically borrowing its way underneath. The smell of spice is so strong that it feels like it’s drowning you, invading your lungs and nostrils, coating them, leaving your insides feeling like sandpaper if you dare breathe it in.
But as he follows Stilgar into the sietch he can’t even be bothered with the glares and sideways glances from the Freman because the further they walk the more his senses are hit with an overwhelmingly saccharine smell. It was like someone was baking the finest pastry mixed with a warm milk bath on a cold winter's day. He had only ever smelled something as sweet as this in his dreams. A scent he’s dreamed of so vividly that it lingered in his nostrils when he woke, but he’s never caught a whiff of it in waking hours until now. There was no doubt in his mind that this is the same scent. The scent that’s haunted him every night since he presented. The scent of his omega, his destined mate.
“I can hear and smell you scenting back there, Paul Atreides… I suggest you get your pheromones under control before we enter.” Stilgar looks back at him with an apprehensive look and Paul apologizes nodding in agreement. “Mating is a very sacred thing to my people. Each pair must be approved and blessed by the high priestess. And all unmated omegas rooms are on the opposite side of the alphas. It is very important that you follow all rules, but especially this one. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I understand.” He understood the rule but does that mean he was going to follow it? He could certainly try. But that scent was intoxicating and the closer they got to the sietch the stronger it got. He knows given the chance, he’d break that rule in an instant. Consequences be damned.
“Many wait for their soul bound mate and majority of them die alone, never finding the one.” Paul found this odd. Soul bounds are few and far between nowadays and he comes from a place where mating is a transaction, a bargain, something of power and not of love. But as that sugary sweet scent swirls around him, almost making him dizzy, he thinks he might understand wanting to wait for your one. It’s been a few years now since he presented and no omega has ever smelled even remotely appealing to him. They either smelled of nothing or downright revolting, his only reprieve was in his dreams. His dreams filled with that sugary smell and the figure of a woman whose face he could never quite make out.
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When Stilgar pulled his mother aside Paul found himself alone in a room filled with stares. Some looked at him in awe, certain he was their long awaited Maud’Dib. Others looked at him with disdain, snickering to each other as they shamelessly pointed his way. But he honestly wasn’t concerned with any of it, because as he sat against the stony wall the scent was stronger than ever. He could almost taste it. His eyes searched the room, craving nothing more than to put a face to the smell that has nearly become his drug. But as he looked across the various faces surrounding him, no one stuck out to him.
But he was certain she was in this room, if not this one than the next. That warm saccharine scent was so close it was as if it were right next to him. That’s when he feels a tap on his shoulder, causing him to jump. Either this person was stealthy or he was so lost in thought he didn’t hear them approaching but when his head whips around to see who it is he feels like his heart is going to burst. He hears the sound of bells ringing, a sound that he’s only heard in the churches back home. There standing over him is the most ethereal woman he’s ever seen, beautiful, perfect, sweet smelling, you.
“Hello, Paul Atreides, I’ve been waiting for you.” You smile down at him sweetly, your eyes filled with adoration. You aren’t dressed like the Fremen, no tans or browns or stillsuit to be found. A black silky dress adorns your form, fitting you perfectly. There’s a sheer midnight colored scarf wrapped around your head and shoulders, framing your face like the greatest work of art. You weren’t Fremen. You were a Bene Gesserit. Or at the very least, one in training.
“I think… I’ve been waiting for you too.” Paul’s voice is trance-like, looking up at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. The sound of the voice you’ve heard so many times in your slumber sending chills down your spine.
“Won’t you come with me? I have so much to tell you.” You look at him eagerly, offering him your danity ringed hand.
“I don’t know if I’m… supposed to…” He wants nothing more than to follow you. He would follow you into one of the suns of Arakkis if you asked him to. But he knew he was already on thin ice here and he feared what would happen to him and his mother if he were to upset anyone further.
“Do not bother with them, they will see the way. They will see what I’ve seen. Soon they will be cheering your name. Come.”
Paul scans the room, all eyes are on the two of you but when he looks back at your reassuring smile it’s like no one else matters, no one else exists. He takes your hand, letting you pull him along through hallways and far away from prying eyes. You drag him into a room that he assumes is yours, shutting the door behind you.
“Have you dreamt of me, Paul?” You sit on the bed and pull the scarf from your head, leaning back on your palms. You look so beautiful and the room is engulfed in your scent. It clings to every inch of the space and radiates off of you in waves.
“Yes… have you dreamt of me?” He takes an apprehensive step toward you, leaving a few feet of distance between the two of you. His green eyes feel as if they’re eating you alive and the scent of him causes slick to rush into your panties.
“Yes, every night since I presented as an omega my dreams have been filled with nothing but you. And more recently I’ve had visions of you in my waking hours. Will you tell me, Paul, about your dreams?” Your voice is as sweet as your scent. The way you’re leaning back on your hands makes the silk of your dress taunt against your breasts, your peaked nipples on display. The sight of you and the unmistakable smell of your slick makes his cock stir in his pants.
“They aren’t very vivid… mostly just flashes of you from behind, the sound of your voice, you were always saying ‘come to me Paul, for I am your destiny’ but your scent? That was so clear to me.” He takes another step forward, reaching a hand out as if he’s going to touch you but he lets it fall to his side, like he thought better of it. “I didn’t know it was possible to have a sense of smell in your dreams, but night after night I was surrounded by your scent as I slept.”
“I could smell you as well and I smelled you the minute you arrived. But my dreams are much more detailed than yours. There is much you do not know.” You approach him, closing the small distance between you. You rest your hands on his chest, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “Would you like me to tell you about them?”
“I’d love nothing more, omega.” His thumb gently caresses the apple of your cheek before traveling down to push some of your hair off your shoulder. He’s looking down at you expectantly, eagerly waiting for you to speak.
“Your dreams are correct, I am your destiny, and you are mine. I can feel the doubt in your heart, feel that you do not believe in yourself, do not believe that you are the Maud’Dib but you are, sweet Paul. For I have seen it.”
“Tell me? What have you seen?” He searches your eyes for signs of doubt or deceit but all he sees is truth there. Truth and the same adoring look you gave him when he first saw you.
“I’ve seen you learning the ways of the Fremen. I’ve seen you move them, rally them. I’ve seen a battle in which you win. I’ve seen you upon the emperor's throne, ruling over all, with me by your side, our child in my arms.” Your hands travel from his chest to take his face in your soft palms where you rub soothing circles on his temples.
“You saw… all of that?” Paul’s voice sounded exasperated, like what you’ve told him took all the breath from his lungs. He feels like it has. The finality and bluntness in which you speak tell him that your words are true.
“Yes, and more. There will be plenty of time to tell you about it all. But right now? I need you.” Right as the words leave your mouth a gush of slick drips down your legs. The presence of your mate triggering your heat weeks early.
“Tell me what you need, omega.” His voice drops an octave, taking on that deep alpha tone. It makes your heart speed up as another gush of slick drips from your core. You can’t help but think what it would be like if he used The Voice on you. Regularless of how absolutely blasphemous that would be considered.
“I need you, alpha. I need your cock. I need you to fill me up and lock your seed inside me with your knot.” Paul lets out a growl before reaching out, one hand gripping onto your hip to pull you flush against him and the other going to the back of your neck so he could connect his lips with your own.
The kiss starts off rough, eager, and hungry. But after a few moments his lips become tender against your own, his fingers threading through your hair as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip. You grant him access, immediately intertwining his tongue with your own, moaning at the taste of him.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, my moon. Ask for it and it is yours.” He kisses down your jaw to your throat where he runs the tip of his nose along your scent gland, inhaling deeply. “You wish for me to make love to you? Then I shall.”
Paul pushes the thin straps of your satin dress down your shoulders, kissing along the column of your throat, your collar bones, across your shoulders. You drop your arms so the straps fall the rest of the way down, the dress slipping down your body with them. Leaving you bare before him aside from the thin black material of your panties.
“Absolutely beautiful, angelic.” He runs the back of his hand down your cheek, your jaw, your neck, all the way down until his back knuckles are caressing the tender peaks of your nipples. He slides it across your chest, giving the other the same treatment before taking both of your tits in his hands. He gently squeezes them, pinching your hardened nipples between his fingers, eliciting little whimpers from you.
“I heard your mother has been teaching you our ways. How is your training?” Paul raises an eyebrow at you, certainly wondering why you’re asking him about that at a time like this. “I only ask because I was wondering if you might want to practice on me.”
“Do you mean…?” He looks at you with wide eyes and you smirk, biting your lip.
“That’s exactly what I mean. I can feel your apprehension, don’t be afraid, I want this.” You lean into him, smashing his hands that are still on your chest between your bodies as you lean up to you run your nose along his scent gland, darting your tongue out to taste the sweat and spice that coat his skin. He grabs onto your shoulders, pushing you back so he can look in your eyes, searching for any signs of doubt. But as every other time he’s looked in your eyes tonight, he’s seen nothing but honesty there. Nothing but truth.
“Get on the bed on your back. Spread your legs.” Your body immediately reacts, doing exactly as he asks. Paul approaches the foot of the bed, standing between your spread legs. “That’s a good girl.”
His hands grip onto your knees, pushing your legs further apart, leaning down to shove his face between your legs. His nose runs along the soaked material of your panties, deeply inhaling the sugary sweet smell of your slick.
“Alpha, please.”
“You do not have to beg, my moon. I’m going to give you exactly what you want.” Paul smirks up at you before lacing his fingers into the band of your panties and ripping them in half. He runs his tongue up your slit, circling it around your sensitive clit. The feeling of his hot wet mouth has you coming undone instantly, your slick gushing all over his chin and down his neck where it drips onto his shirt. He moans at the taste, sweeter than anything that’s ever graced his taste buds. “Yes, that’s my good little omega, give it all to me, let me drink in your sweet nectar.”
He dives back in, shoving his tongue as deep into your pussy as it can go, fucking you with it. His lips come up to wrap around your clit while his fingers circle your dripping entrance. He runs his fingers through your folds before shoving them knuckle deep inside of you.
“Oh fuck! I’m going to cum again, I’m gonna cum.” You move your hips against his face as he curls his fingers against your sweet spot, your legs clamp around his head and your entire body shakes as your high washes over you. Paul pushes himself up from the bed, ridding himself of his clothes before climbing back over to you, situating himself on top of you with his hands on either side of your head. His hard cock is resting against your lower stomach, the tip leaking precum onto your skin.
“I want to taste you too.” You run your fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. You didn’t even care that the ache between your legs wouldn’t be satiated until he was inside you, you needed to taste him.
“Next time. I need to be inside you now.” It comes out a soft whisper, his forehead resting against your own. He reaches between your bodies, taking his cock in his hand and lining it up with your entrance. He connects his lips with your own, kissing you passionately as he begins to push inside you. You both moan as he bottoms out, his hips flush against your own. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, slipping your tongue into his mouth as his thrusts begin to pick up.
“Mmm you feel amazing, my love, my lord, my emperor.” Paul looks into your eyes as he continues to fuck you at a linguid pace, rolling his hips against your own as he pushes himself as deep inside you as possible.
“My moon, my destiny.” He picks up the pace, pushing up on his knees and wrapping your legs around his hips. Your tits jiggle with every thrust, the fucked out love sick gaze that you send his way makes his skin even hotter.
“I want you to fill me up, alpha. Fill me with your cum. Put a pup in me. So we can fulfill our prophecy.” Paul snakes a hand between the two of you, connecting his thumb with your clit so he can rub circles on it in time with his thrusts.
“Open your mouth.” The sound of him using The Voice makes your walls clench around him, your jaw dropping open at his command. He leans down, letting the spit that had collected in his mouth drip down into your tongue. “Swallow it.”
You swallow with an audible gulp. Your heart warming at the gesture that anywhere else would be considered lewd but here on Arakkis to share one’s sacred spit with another was a grand gesture of love.
“Thank you, my love. You taste better than the finest feast. I cannot wait to know what your cum tastes like.” Paul groans at that, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. His thrusts start to grow sloppy but he refuses to finish before you do.
“Cum for me.” As soon as the words leave his mouth your walls are convulsing around him, sucking him as your slick soaks his cock.
“Mark me, Paul. Sink your teeth into my flesh and bind us together as we are meant to be.” You tug on his arms, pulling his upper half so it’s draped over you, his face buried in your neck. His thrusts become slow and deep again, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you.
“But Stilgar said…” He groans, using every ounce of strength in his body to not just sink his teeth into your soft neck.
“I do not care what Stilgar said. This is bigger than him. Bigger than all of them. Mark me.” His mouth moves before his mind can process what’s happening, his teeth sinking deep into your flesh, breaking the skin. The feeling is like nothing you’ve ever felt. Electricity washes through your body, the most world altering orgasm of your life wracks through you, and you feel like your soul leaves you, connecting with Paul’s before returning to your earthly vessel. He pushes his hips flush against yours, ropes of his cum spilling inside you.
“Oh fucking shit.” Paul groans, pulling his mouth from your neck, gliding his tongue over the indents of his teeth. He leans back to look at you, eyes roaming your face. His knot swells inside of you and a look of pain crosses your features before turning into one of ecstasy. Loud moans leave your lips as your final orgasm of the night washes over you. Paul leans down, connecting his lips with yours, kissing you like it’s the last thing he will ever do. Though it was far from it.
“I hope you are not upset with me, Maud’Dib.” You take his face in your hands, running the top of your nose along his cheek.
“I don’t think I could ever be upset with you, my love. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on when you used The Voice on me…” he chuckles, resting his forehead against your own. “I am so happy I finally found you…”
“You have me now, until the day I take my last breath I will belong to you, Paul Atreides. Together, we will accomplish great things.”
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morning-star-joy · 10 months ago
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half asleep, half awake
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Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader, ASHWAH Universe
Summary: Every time Joel Miller realizes he loves you. Every time he wants to tell you, and the time he does.
Warnings: Brief smut (unprotected p in v, possessiveness, creampie), brief reference to canon-typical violence, longing, Joel can’t communicate his feelings until he can, lots and lots of love. Multiple specific references to the main series. Joel's POV.
A/N: I’ve gotten asked a few times when Joel realizes he loves Reader in this series, and the inspiration hit me the other day to write out my answer to it. Because it could be one scene, but so many before, and so many after when he wants to say it. I miss these two and I love these two and I hope that this little companion piece to the fic makes somebody as happy as I was to write them again!
Wordcount: 1.8k
gorgeous dividers by @saradika
Important: Please read this post and how to help Palestine.
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The first time Joel feels it—really feels it, settled into his bones with an undeniable weight, tugging at his heart with an unimaginable lightness—is the night of his 57th birthday.
Months of staying out of his bedroom, of keeping you off his bed, dissolve into a forgotten time the moment you tug the glass of whiskey from his hand.
Move over, you’d said, making room for yourself amongst the place where he laid his head every night. You finish off the drink, take the rest of the poison he’d been diluting his veins with to drown out the pain of all he’d lost, and settle next to him.
He thinks he wants to see you there every night.
You ask him things like his favorite fucking color, things that don’t matter. Not to him, not to you—but you ask anyway. You meet his eyes readily, open and honest and searching his soul for the same old breaks in your own, and he feels it.
You hold his hand, and it fits there. You would fit into his side too, he muses, if he pulled you in.
He wants to pull you in. He wants you in ways nobody’s ever had you—he knows they haven’t, can feel the trepidation in your soul when he looks at you for too long, or lets his touches linger.
You’ll fuck him like there’s no tomorrow, because maybe there isn’t, but you won’t let him hold you tender. Not that he’s tried, but he knows you. Not everything about you, but enough.
And that night, there’s more. More to you, wounds open and pain spilling out, and it looks like his own. It is his own.
I should probably go, you say when it’s become too much, and he feels the urge to ask you to stay.
Joel asks if you want a drink instead, because he’s an idiot, and you say he’s had too much, because you’re right.
He watches from his window as you walk home under the streetlights for once instead of sticking to the darkness, and though he won’t call it what it is, he knows it’s love.
Joel’s loved you longer than that, though. Somehow he knows it, but he can’t place when.
In front of his fireplace, maybe. You’re shivering from god knows how long you had spent in the rain, in the graveyard, in your own mourning. Broken, and he wants to find each piece of you that you’ve lost and put you back together.
Or at least hold you tight enough that you feel okay again. He just knows that he misses your damn smirk, your fucking laugh, and maybe that was love too.
Or maybe it’s when he wants you to be his, his, his only. When he wants to erase the image of that man’s hand on your back with his own on your skin, fingertips digging into your hips and pulling them back to slap against his.
Maybe it’s the skirt of a temptress bunched up around your waist, each desperate thrust of his cock into your needy cunt, dripping and squeezing as you say, moan, scream his name, his, his.
Maybe it’s when you’re half-naked after, admitting you don’t know what the fuck this is, don’t understand what it’s become, and he doesn’t know either. But it’s something delicate. Maybe it’s love then.
Maybe it’s love on the bathroom floor when he realizes you’re the first friend he’s made in years.
Maybe it’s love when he wants to kill every single bastard raider who took you from him, wants to tear them apart with his bare hands and make them bleed and bleed for how much blood they’d taken from you. Precious blood, blood that kept you alive, kept you snarky and angry and wrapped around him each time he took as much pleasure from you as he gave back.
Or it’s Halloween, the bright lights, loud music, and clothes of a bygone era. None of it real until Maria shoves the truth of the matter into his face. She tells him he’s an idiot and just what it all means, what you mean to everyone, and to him, and he finally accepts it.
That’s the first night he has you in his bed. The first night he sees all of you, feels all of you, skin against skin, and you come again, and again, and again. It’s not enough, he needs to keep feeling it, needs you to fall apart in his hands so he can put you back together. A single thread he weaves through you and tugs with each ripple of pleasure, pulling you apart again with each clench of your cunt around his cock, until you pull it from him too.
You fall asleep in a matter of minutes after. Lips parted, and he wished he could watch them swell after a kiss, but you were still holding back.
So he settles for his palm on your cheek, stroking the scar that he still doesn’t know how you got, and feels so much longing, so much love when you sink into his sheets, wrapped up in his favorite color that you knew because you cared to ask. Settled by just the touch of him.
Joel thinks you tried to say something that night, but he’ll never know what. He does know what he wants to say, but he holds back. He’d wait for you, even if you never wanted this too. He’d be whatever you did want him to be.
Time passes in a blur after that, as you tangle yourselves together in ways he never would’ve once thought possible. He doesn’t move, and you lean into him. He doesn’t move, just lets you come to him, too scared you’ll run away again if he holds you too tight, or at all.
Then that night. A meal shared with the family you’d found. He tries to go home alone after, and you chase after him, hold him tight, and he knows. He knows what he feels, and he knows you feel it too.
He doesn’t have to say it, but he wants to. Night after night he wants to, the more that you settle and the more that you’re his. The more that he is yours.
You kiss him, finally—or he kisses you, he can’t remember which. And it says it all.
Still, the words are trapped in his throat as his home truly becomes yours.
His body had already been your home for a year.
His heart, for longer than he would ever know.
But his house. Four walls that didn’t mean anything, not really, not until you lived within them and your sister’s art was on the mantle, your photograph of your parents was in your room that was his room, all your mugs in the kitchen and his coffee was your coffee—he needs to tell you.
He tries to every morning, in his kitchen with your cups of coffee—or tea, with complaints falling from both his mouth and yours if you were out of your preferred beverage. He doesn’t, but he knows you can taste it in the drink he brews for you, perfected to your liking.
He tries to before every patrol, in case somebody takes you from him again. He doesn’t, but he knows you can see it when his eyes seek yours, when he gives you a nod and a lingering gaze before you’re out of the gates and on your way. He knows you can feel it when you both get home, his arms wrapped around you tight and the tension seeping from his body when you’re pressed to him.
He tries to every night, but it’s lost on his tongue every time it slides into your mouth. He knows you know with every kiss, every thrust of his hips from where he’d found a home nestled between your thighs, spilling himself into you as you welcomed him in and made the most beautiful music every time.
You’re comfortable in bed months after the holidays, after that first kiss. Winter is warming into spring, the air feels like starting again, and he tries to tell you.
You’d been reading when he crawled into bed behind you after a shower. His face buried into your neck, each drop of water onto your skin so cold it makes you shiver. But your nails dig into his forearm when it wraps around your waist, the book tumbling from your fingers as you grasp at the nightstand with each drag of his pulsing cock inside your tight heat.
The lamp on the nightstand rattles with each thrust, sending waves of warm light flashing across the room. He’s mesmerized each time it washes across your face, pinched in the familiar climb for pleasure you trusted him to guide you through. He mouths at the scar on your cheek, caressing with lips and tongue as you gasp his name.
You’re so beautiful. His moon, his heart, his home, his everything.
Joel wants to tell you when you come, your eyes fluttering open and seeking his. Seeking that connection between you, as hungry as you are reverent, and he doesn’t deserve it, that undying loyalty. But you think the same for yourself, so what did either of you know, besides what this was.
Love, and he wants to say it. Wants to say he loves you when each flutter of your pussy around him sends him spiraling into an orgasm, a blissful moment of release he now only ever associated with you.
Half asleep after, you’re content, the warm light of the steadied lamp caressing your skin as he cleans it. You know what he wants to say, he thinks. Your eyes are heavy and lazily watching as he kisses the inside of your thigh, peppers his love up your body to your lips.
Half awake, Joel watches you reach for him, pulling him down into a soft caress of your lips against his, with more tenderness either of you ever thought you were capable of.
He won’t say it. You know he won’t.
But you know he will. Someday.
And that one morning amongst many that belong to just you and him, when you ask about other lives, when he realizes you’d want him in more than just this one—in every one—he says it.
You say it back, and everything is right.
When you ask him when he first felt it, he tells you the truth; that he hadn’t felt it just yet on that snowy street a year ago, but a part of him always knew he would love you.
And now, Joel knew he always would.
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hellsslibrary · 6 months ago
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Hello! There's just not so many sub! Kaiser fics and I'm d y i n g to read those 😔😔
Can I request for a sub! Kaiser x male reader where Kaiser has a praise kink but doesn't ever want to admit it 👀
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#a.n. :This is so same! Kaiser is such a babygirl, I want to kiss him, eat him, hug him, and then rock him in my arms and let him relax... But no, this bitch is always top, lol. Even funny.
"I don't like your damn praise! Just fuck me alre—...What?"
!!Warnings: Bottom!Sub!Michael, Dom!Top!Reader, sex on an indoor football field (it's empty, it just seemed interesting to me, imagine the echo there...), praise kink obviously, Michael tries to be dominant, but he's too much of a pillow princess (he came out so gentle... In his own way), in fact everything is quite vanilla, but he kicks you when he's unhappy, also very romantic in general. × And the reader is somehow connected with football company. You can be a manager, a football player, or even a cleaner there, honestly.
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The football field in the building was closed at night, knowing full well how persistent football players in the leagues can be. Darkness, silence, idyll... Except for the flashlight from the phone somewhere in the middle of the field and quiet groans echoing from the walls.
"Why did you decide to have sex here? Plus, at this time?" You ask, looking over at Michael, who was clutching at the trimmed grass in the lawn as you thrust into him at a careful, almost tremulous pace.
“I think you said yourself that you wanted to experiment... So we’re starting with something easy,” Blonde whispers, wincing from the unpleasant feeling of artificial grass in his hands, so he just hugs your neck lazily.
“Well, yes, but... You obviously have some other reasons. But I won’t push if you don’t want to talk,” Michael just sighs at your words, but it immediately turns into a soft moan when your lips touch his neck.
“I just love the atmosphere in here, as weird as it sounds, so shut up and fuck me,” A disgruntled mutter escapes his lips, only to be cut short when he tilts his head back, giving you better access to his neck.
You look over his face, surprisingly too peaceful for him. Maybe this place really brought inner comfort to his soul, erasing all the doubts and burdens that he kept inside and sometimes shared with you. Maybe it was. But your heart broke at the sight of him for some reason, you understood his feelings more than anyone... Because you were probably the only one he was able to open up to so much.
“Micha? You’re a good boy,” echoes from your lips almost casually, but with a sickly sweet note that you want to listen to forever and drown in these sweet speeches.
"What was it?"
You find yourself torn from examining his face by his question. And really, why did you say that? He didn't do anything special during your entire session, which lasted about half an hour. And you too... But one look at him is enough for you to understand why.
Your attentive gaze glides over his perfect facial features, long eyelashes giving his eyes an unusual softness and warmth. Instantly you feel the desire to say that he is beautiful, extraordinarily beautiful. Faithful hands, strength and tenderness in every touch, sincerity and warmth in every word, just for you. The desire to praise, to say how much love and kindness he has, how he is able to bring a smile even in the most cloudy weather.
His soul shines brighter than the stars in the sky, his smile can melt the heart of icy granite. The desire to praise, express gratitude for all the beauty and kindness that he brings into this world. He is not just a person, he is magic, miracle, a spark that pushes you to move even in your most difficult moments.
The words seem unfair, but the heart is filled with feelings that are impossible to carry on the wind. Praise, approval, love — all these are small before the greatness of his soul and his existence. You really want to tell him about this so that he understands how amazing and significant he is to you. Just as the sun rises every morning, he awakens in you a feeling of awe and admiration that seems endless and will remain so.
“Because I love you,” You say without thinking, and immediately catch a light, rare blush on his cheeks.
His hand immediately drops down from your shoulder to cover the pink dust on his cheeks, but you intercept his hand, kissing his fingers tenderly, intertwining your fingers together.
"You idiot... Why so suddenly?" He asks, even if he doesn't wait for an answer, lightly kicking you in the side, groaning when you lean over him a little closer, hitting his sweet spot at a pleasant angle.
You find yourself thinking that you would worship him if he were God. It’s not that you didn’t already worship him... But he was definitely the person for whom even an atheist would reconsider their views on the world.
"Why suddenly? I'm always ready to praise you. You are tenacious, driven, incredibly smart, caring for those you care about in your own way... You are simply magnificent."
"Shut up, please shut up. I don't need your praise, just fuck me and..." He trails off, kicking you in the side again as he realizes something, "You didn't say that I'm handsome."
“Your beauty is a fact. But your appearance is far from the main thing that you have, even if you think differently... But if I started to list what I like about you externally, then we would move on to dithyrambs and ballads, and not to the climax."
Michael chuckles, finally distracted from contemplating you in response, realizing that he really feels a knot growing in his stomach. In general, he would never admit that he would be glad to listen to these dithyrambs and ballads and much more if it came from you. He's always taken praise for granted because, yes, he's Michael Kaiser, but now? He's just a puddle in your hands that's trying to look like ice.
“I’m not clenching around your cock right now because...” He cuts himself off, groaning as your mouth sucks on his neck in the area of his tattoo, “It’s not because I liked the praise, is that clear to both of us?”
“Of course, my King, as you say,” You say, biting the skin of his neck, causing him to whimper quietly as one of your hands slides to his cock, stroking it in time with your thrusts.
Your pace gradually picks up as you get closer too. And the sight of Michael, who clearly enjoyed your previous praise, did not at all ease your hard-on, nor did the warm walls around him.
"Call me!" He suddenly shouts, kicking you in the side once again, although you have no idea what he means at first, pulling away from his neck.
"Good boy?" You ask cautiously and to your surprise and pleasure, his cock twitches in your palm, and after a few thrusts he actually comes, squeezing you tighter than usual, which is why you can’t help but cum, thrusting into him a couple of times in post-orgasmic bliss, and then laying down on his chest.
The quiet rhythm of his heartbeat calmed you as he lightly ran his hand through your hair. You were both regaining your more than ragged breaths before the comfortable silence was interrupted by a question that made you chuckle hoarsely.
“Why did you ask this and not state it as a fact?”
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moonlight-prose · 3 months ago
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HUGH JACKMAN CHARACTERS MASTERLIST✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
note: below is the extensive list of fics i've written for hugh jackman characters. logan might wind up with his own masterlist later one, but for now he can be found here.
Under no circumstances may you steal my work, say it’s yours, or post it somewhere else. The writings I put on here are mine unless stated otherwise.
smut =🔥| angst =💫 | fluff =🌙
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LOGAN HOWLETT ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Right Where You Left Me | 18+🔥| ONGOING SERIES
summary: logan was familiar with death. he understood why it happened, what could cause it to occur, and finally how to accept it. so when his family - the people he cared for most - died…he thought he could handle it. only you didn’t die. you left. now he’s found himself in a new universe with a person who wears your face, yet doesn’t hold your memories.
Heart Made of Glass |💫
summary: you couldn’t control when they could come. the waves of nothingness - of battling with your body and mind in the hopes it would cause a shift. you wanted to control it. he simply wanted to help.
The Grave of Lust | 18+🔥| Old Man!Logan
summary: when his body doesn’t work as it used to and the weary bones that poison his soul begin to ache, you take the lead in a dance you know well. OR giving old man logan sloppy head that he’ll think about in the grave and after.
Sweetness of the Damned | 18+🔥| Old Man!Logan
summary: when night falls and wine overflows in glasses of crystal, logan finds his home in between your thighs.
Slow | 18+🔥| Old Man!Logan
summary: time spent after long days outside is slow. languid in a way only he can give you.
Taste Me on Your Tongue | 18+🔥
summary: the taste of him became an addiction you couldn’t ignore. especially when he was adamant on sharing it in multiple ways.
old man logan thoughts & musings | 18+🔥| pt.2 | pt.3
summary: thoughts about this old man and how much he's feral for you.
hunger | 18+🔥
summary: things are set into motion the second logan opens your drawer. suddenly you find yourself the center of a show with only one audience member.
speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life | 18+🔥
summary: he knew he loved you when your words begin to piece his heart back together. he knew he loved you when he flourishes at your praise. he knew he loved you when nothing in this world could matter but the sound of your voice telling him you love him too.
Pick Your Poison | 18+🔥| ONGOING SERIES
summary: death meant nothing to someone steeped in it. a shovel remained propped next to your front door, a bag of grave dirt hung on a hook, and a collection of poison was stuffed in your cabinets. only when you arise in the vicinity of a lumberjack named logan, you’re in for a rude awakening.
A Case of You | 18+🔥| old man!logan howlett x f!reader x joel miller | UPCOMING SERIES
summary: life in jackson was quiet. serenity in a bottle that’d been poured out along the side of a mountain. a haven to finally grasp some parts of life that you thought were lost forever. you had your apothecary shop, your home, but still some piece of your heart was missing. until you meet your neighbors and come across the full picture of your future you didn’t have before.
have a cigar | 18+🔥
summary: everyone knows who you belong to. if the jacket you wore that left you drowning in the soft leather wasn’t indication enough, then the claws attached to your guard dog certainly was.
Don't Mind Me |🌙
summary: you refused to admit that you were smitten with the man who melted your otherwise intelligent mind. you were however…horrible with subtlety. luckily the same could be said for him.
Wondering Why | 18+🔥| cowboy!old man logan
summary: loving logan howlett felt like loving a ghost. he returned when the moon hung low in the sky and his time gave way for freedom. but when you needed him most, he arrived on your doorstep with the promise of giving you exactly what you want.
dreams unwind, love's a state of mind | 18+🔥| dofp!logan
summary: they told him to change the future, to right the wrongs that the world caused. but he didn’t do it for them. he did it for the chance to see his lover one more time. even if he shared a different history than them.
Dust to Dust | 18+🔥| old man!logan
summary: when the days are long and he’s grown weary of everything, he knows he can find his peace in your body. that is until he brings a whole new understanding to the belt buckle that sits proudly on his waist.
nameless as a river undiscovered underground | 18+🔥
summary: his leather jacket remained a tie between your love and his. the weight of it, the smell of your intertwined scents, all revolved around a relationship he never thought would happen.
#logan thoughts & musings
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EDDIE ALDEN ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
love is here to stay | 18+🔥
summary: mornings where the summer heat was unbearable and energy was nowhere to be found, made getting up a difficult task. add a sleepy eddie and a multitude of kisses and suddenly it became near impossible.
Hopelessly Devoted to You | UPCOMING
summary: being friends with eddie alden came with challenges. you'd known him since you were eleven and he was twelve and the funniest thing to do was push you down. yet now you're older and suddenly you see him as someone else.
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DROVER ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Never Lovelier | 18+🔥| UPCOMING
summary: a day spent working with horses in the hot sun left him hungry for your affection. for the soft touch of your love. OR drover uses his whip for romantic interests.
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LEOPOLD ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
UNTITLED FALL THEMED FIC
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GABRIEL VAN HELSING ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
bound in the strands of permanence | 18+🔥
summary: he walked with monsters in the night, claiming their lives for a vendetta placed upon him by the church. but he found peace in daylight with the touch of your healing hands.
Amor Vincint Omnia | 18+🔥| UPCOMING SERIES
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©moonlight-prose do not feed my work into ai, do not steal my work, if you are a minor, spam like my fics, or are a blank blog you will be blocked.
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crimsonbubble · 3 months ago
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Candied Thorns
cw. nsfw, afab!reader, demon!joong, he's also kinda pervy, masturbation, overstimulation, creampie, breeding kink, praise *not proofread, just pure horny
[the story building was taking too long so I got rid of it 😭😭😔]
special tags for @sugarnspice630 @ravenempress101 @autieofthevalley
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Demons can't just go around falling in love with humans. But Hongjoong wasn't one to abide by the rules; he may have made them but that doesn't mean he can't stray from them from time to time.
“Oh, my sweet angel, you simply spoil me, don't you, sweetheart? Such a beautiful doll, all for me, yes?”
Hongjoong leans back comfortably against the lounging sofa, his arms spread across the back of it. His eyes gleam a pretentious red, a similar coloured mist glowing around your wrists, keeping them pinned behind your back, the same mist wrapped around your hips. The smirk on his face is ever present, his eyes fluttering as you clamp down on his cock.
He revels in drowning you in pleasure, leaving your mind blank with only thoughts of more, more, and more. You were at his mercy; body, mind, and soul. He feeds into you, your arousal. But it's not enough, not like this anyway. As much as he loves sitting back and watching you go dumb on his cock, he'd much rather fuck you into the couch cushions.
Hongjoong's misty grip loosens, making you slump against his chest, whining at the friction of overstimulation creeping into your bones. Hongjoong's nails dig into your hips as he pushes you onto the couch. He props your hips, mouth hanging open with a quiet gasp as he buries himself inside you again.
His mist surrounds you again, holding you in place. Hongjoong presses himself against your back, his picking up speed too quickly for your human brain to comprehend. You can do nothing but let yourself be used, too entranced in the way his cock rubs against your sweet spot. You can't think of anything other than the demon spawn using you like a fleshlight.
Hongjoong laughs behind you, slipping a hand under your body to toy with your clit. You whimper, attempting to thrash away from the onslaught of pleasure. But with the mist coating your body, you can't stop him from splitting your pussy open on his cock; not that you wanted to. I mean, when's the next time you'll stumble upon a sexy ass demon who vowed to give you all the luxuries you want in exchange for your company? Besides, the sex is beyond good.
With the way Hongjoong was fucking you, there was no way you could possibly go back to being with a human male. Hongjoong knows it too; mainly because he finds your inner thoughts to be quite amusing. He can read all of your hidden desires, leaning your body and committing every detail to mind. He's fucking you like he hates you, loathes you, but how could he when you sound so sweet screaming his name for all to hear.
How could he hate you when your body responds well to him? How could he hate you when your pretty pussy wraps around his cock so nicely; all warm and wet, just for him. He's infatuated with you, he'd spent hours upon hours learning your likes and dislikes; that's how he knows you fucking love being used; how you like giving him your submission. He knows you'd do almost anything for him, as long as he cared for you and stayed by your side.
As sappy as he gets when gazing at your eyes that shine brighter than any star he's seen, he's on a mission to see how many loads it'll take to see your stomach bloat. He needs to stuff you full, needs to see his cum leak out of your used hole, needs to eat his cum out of you, and needs to dump more into you. You can feel his cock swell even more, pulsing as he cums in long spurts.
You're left writhing on the couch as Hongjoong seems a little lost in his mind. He seemed to have lost himself in the smell of your sweet cunt that he doesn't realize how many orgasms he's fucked you through. Your body feels like it's on fire, every nerve is ignited as Hongjoong slips in as deep as he can, his tip nearly touching your cervix every time he bottoms out.
Hongjoong cums with a shudder, burying himself to the hilt as he pumps more cum into your sore cunt. He's brought back to his senses as he pulls out of you. His eyes drop to your cunt, before eyeing his cock that twitches in interest. You dare to look over your shoulder, eyes slipping down his toned body. Your eyes widen as you stare at his cock, still hard and still very much pulsing. You peel up at Hongjoong's face, finding him already looking at you.
“Don't worry, princess, just a few more loads to dump in you, and then we can call it quits for the night. I'm sure you want that though, right? To be fucked and full of cum by the time you wake up? Don't worry, angel. I'll take real good care of you.”
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sanarsi · 4 months ago
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Birthday present
Javier Peña x f!Reader
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Summary: You're the daughter of one of Columbia's godfathers. Agent Peña decides to surprise you on your twenty-fifth birthday. Warnings: +18, MDNI, protected PIV, car sex, age gap (10y), reader has tattoo, pet names (baby, cariño, princesa), dirty talk, mention of corrupt family, violence Wordcount: 5,3k An: English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for possibly misunderstanding. Hope you’ll enjoy xx Music I worked with: MAMACITA - Black Eyed Peas, Ozuna, J. Rey Soul / Alibi - Sevdaliza, Pabllo Vittar, Yseult / LA FAMA - ROSALÍA, The Weeknd
Masterlist
Javier's informants usually did not disappoint.
And he was one of those who often put everything on one card. Either he will succeed or will have to try hard to succeed.
That's what led him to this moment. An opportunity to get closer to you than ever before. To get you to cooperate.
Latin music played softly on the radio as Javier calmly drove away from the city center. From time to time he glanced in the mirror to fix his mustache and hair. He had to look good enough to catch your attention. He had to try harder for a while even though he wasn't being paid for it. But Javier was as dedicated to his work as anyone else. Sometimes it could be called his flaw but he didn’t cared about what others thought.
The car stopped in one of the side streets leading to a seaside bar. The bar where you celebrated your birthday.
Javier looked at his reflection one last time and dabbed his skin with aftershave. A strong masculine scent wafted through the car. The perfect weapon for his hunt for an evening companion. He didn't doubt his abilities and that he would be able to woo you too.
Relaxed, he moved towards the muffled music. He was passed by several people who clearly wanted to continue having fun in a more private place. Javier smiled to himself, feeling that he would be lucky today and his intuition never failed him.
From a distance he could already see the outline of people dancing on the dance floor. The music was getting louder and people's conversations began to drown out his own thoughts. Even though he was tired, this was what brought him relief. Finally, his attention was focused on something other than work. Even if that's exactly what he came here for. Work.
Javier walked up to the bar and nodded to the bartender. “Whiskey,” he said, and wasting no time, he started slowly looking around at the people standing closest to him. You weren't here.
His eyes immediately fell on the dance floor. A lot of people. Definitely too much for a small bar by the water.
Javier might have been fooling himself a lot, but he couldn't deny that he loved the energy here. Or at least the energy from the people who simply live here. Having fun and living life to the fullest. If it weren't for all the crap he dealt with, Columbia would be heaven.
Barman placed a glass of whiskey next to him, so he handed him a few bills and took his first sip of alcohol. This was what he needed after a long day at the office.
He slowly savored his drink when his eyes fell on the girl in the middle of the dance floor. He tilted his head to get a better view between dancing couples and slowly ran his gaze down her entire body. The blood red dress hugged her body tightly and several ruffles fluttered with every movement of her hips. His gaze stopped for a moment on her lush hips, which had a lot of life in them.
Javier gulped as he watched how the dress barely covered her ass. Still, she didn't seem to care and was definitely testing the durability of the piece of fabric that gave a lot to the imagination.
His eyes moved lower to her legs and black high heels. A small tattoo on her ankle caught his attention. A light immediately went on in his head. His instincts never failed him, and this time was no exception. It was you. He spotted you like a predator and wasn't going to waste any time from attacking you.
He drank the entire contents of the glass at once and took a deep breath before moving towards you. Someone bumped into him several times, but no one even bothered to notice. Not that Javier cared. His attention was only on you.
The way your fingers disappeared into your hair.
The way your hands slid down your body.
The way your lips moved with every word of the song.
Oh he could get high from this view…
The song changed and this gave him the perfect opportunity to attack. His hand placed itself on your hip, which caught your attention. You opened your eyes, pulled out of your dancing trance, and looked over your shoulder at your attacker.
With a smirk, Javier slowly walked around you to face you. Your eyes immediately began to carefully scan his face to assess whether he was worth your time.
"Such a beautiful woman shouldn’t dance alone," he spoke first. A smile appeared on your lips as this text quickly convinced you to him. You glanced to the side so Javier did the same.
Away from the crowd stood a man watching you carefully. All you had to do was gently nod your head towards him and he immediately relaxed and sat down at the table and started talking to another guy. Javier immediately calculated in his head that there were two bodyguards with you.
Nothing he couldn't handle.
“So let's hope you can dance,” your voice caught his attention. His smirk widened as he tightened his grip around your waist, bringing your frames together. You placed your hand in his and wrapped your other arm around his shoulder. You lifted your chin to keep eye contact with him as he slowly started leading, making your hips move.
You danced the first song in silence. Javier knew you were judging his skills as you stared into each other's eyes with every move. Your noses were brushing against each other and there was almost no space between you.
You felt his thigh between yours as he guided the movements of your hips and you liked the fact that he can lead in dancing. You could finally have fun with someone who lived up to your expectations. And that's what convinced you to continue having fun with him.
“I'm surprised men can still dance,” you said with a laugh as he turned you around once again and pulled you closer to him. Javier was smiling widely as he looked at you, and he'd be lying if he said he was having a bad time.
"Real men can do this and more," he replied with his professional pick-up tone.
You raised your eyebrows with a wide smile, amused by his words. You knew this tone in men very well.
Javier spun you around a few times and pulled you closer to him again. He had to admit that he loved the closeness of Latin dancing. He could shamelessly hold your hips tightly against his and grind you against his thigh.
“Care to tell me what you mean?” you asked innocently, observing his eyes closely.
Javier spun you around and pulled your back against him. You felt his hard chest on your back and after a moment his arms wrapped around you tightly again, making your hips move. You smiled to yourself as you felt his hot breath on your neck.
“A real man will take care of a woman not only in dancing,” he whispered in your ear and his hands slid to your hips, digging his fingers into your skin. You smiled wider as he turned you around to face him again in one move. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Javier leaned closer, nuzzling your nose. You rocked your hips in silence for a moment, watching each other.
“Oh, I see,” you nodded with a soft laugh and let him turn you around. He embraced you and grabbed your hand, slowly taking steps to the beat. "You mean yourself or..."
“Myself,” he cut you off halfway through. You smiled and nodded, hitting your heels and the dance floor with every step.
“You have a high opinion of yourself…” you started to say and stopped at the end, raising an eyebrow.
“Javier,” he finished for you.
“You have a high opinion of yourself, Javier,” you repeated so as not to forget his name in a moment.
"It's just the facts, baby," he said, wanting to sound indifferent.
And he sounded... like an overconfident pick-up artist.
You raised your eyebrows with a smile and nodded. Javier sensed that you were allergic to idiots who wanted to get you into bed. He had to do something more.
“Why have I never seen you here before?”
“I rarely come here,” you replied with a shrug and a soft smile.
“So today is a special occasion I assume,” he noted, slowly leading you across the dance floor. You laughed sweetly at his words, making him smile too.
“Yeah, actually,” you nodded, “it's my birthday today,” you explained. Javier was a born actor, so he had no problem feigning surprise. Of course, you believed it.
“Well well,” he smacked his lips in the air and ran his eyes down your entire body, “But I'm not surprised at all. You don't come across women like you every day," he added with a smirk and pulled you closer again. “Let me buy you a drink.”
"I don't know if—"
“As a birthday present,” he interrupted you, raising his eyebrows encouragingly. He looked at you like a dog, waiting for you to submit to him. And you gave in. You laughed sweetly, shaking your head.
"Let it be."
Javier smiled broadly and grabbed your hand before heading towards the bar. You sat down at the bar with a wide smile and Javier was not shy about being close to you. He immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, gluing himself to your side. He waved towards barman and you watched his every move carefully.
The way his face became serious when he ordered you drinks.
The way his gaze immediately stuck to your eyes right after.
The way his thumb gently traced your hip.
It was all intended to distract you.
“So what birthday is it? Eighteenth?” he asked, looking down at you. You rolled your eyes at his words but snorted under your breath anyway.
“Twenty-fifth,” you replied, wrinkling your nose with a smile. Barman placed the drinks next to you, so Javier immediately downed one for you.
“Then let's drink to your eighth-eighteenth birthday,” he toasted with a smile. You laughed at his words and clinked glasses with him. You both tensed without breaking eye contact. You grimaced at the taste of strong alcohol and he chuckled.
“It was supposed to be a drink, not straight vodka,” you noticed with laugh and took another sip. Javier watched you carefully, hoping you were weak in the head because, unfortunately for him, you didn't seem stupid.
"It's not appropriate to refuse a gift," he noted with a smirk, slowly sipping his drink. You rolled your eyes and took another sip of your damn strong drink with feigned pleasure.
“Thank you for the present, Javier,” you said with forced politeness. He chuckled at your reaction.
"De nada querida."
Thanks to his gift, you were tongue-tied pretty quickly and you spent half an hour talking nonsense at the bar. Javier listened with interest to everything you said and responded to make you say even more and it wasn't until you finished your second drink that he took you dancing again.
And if Javier thought you didn't limit yourself before, you were a beast now. Latin dance has only now gained everything it was about. And it was no longer an ordinary dance. It was literally just sex.
Your noses touched, breathing heavily against each other's lips as Javier guided your hips. Another bead of sweat was already dripping from his forehead after dancing a few songs intensely. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying himself because he hadn't spent such an intense evening, out of bed, with such a beautiful woman for a long time. And he would be lying if he said that your proximity and the alcohol didn't affect him.
He turned you around, and only when you clung tightly to him again, you feel that he was half-hard. And it certainly didn't stop you from rolling your hips right next to his. Javier couldn't help but let out a soft moan that disappeared into your hair. You smiled blissfully, knowing the effect you had on him and you couldn't have expected how much it stroked your ego.
His hand covered your lower abdomen and the other covered your chest. You felt trapped and didn't complain at all. You deliberately moved under his touch and movements, even when you felt his lips near your ear.
"You're playing dirty," he whispered in a hoarse voice and then placed a gentle kiss just below the ear.
A wave of shivers ran through your body at this act of closeness, and you were unable to resist as your head fell on his shoulder on its own. Javier immediately took advantage of the situation and ran his hand from your chest to your neck. His lips slowly began to place wet kisses on your neck and you smiled widely as his closeness bounced between your thighs.
“I got it from my dad,” you replied in a whisper, not really thinking about what you were saying.
“Is he naughty too?” he asked next to your ear and gently bit the lobe. You sighed louder and murmured a quiet affirmation. Now you didn't trust your words anymore. “He should teach you how to behave,” he continued and pressed his hand harder against your stomach. Your hips pressed further into his, allowing you to feel him more clearly. You parted your lips so as not to moan and swallowed saliva, which he immediately felt under his hand.
He had you in his grasp.
“If your dad didn't teach you this, I'll be happy to do it for him,” he whispered and gently bit into your neck.
You smiled broadly and blissfully at the feeling, but it quickly disappeared when Javier spun you around again and this time you fell into his arms, not expecting such a sudden move. You giggled to yourself, hugging his neck again as his hands moved to your hips. You looked up at him, immediately noticing that he was no longer smiling. He looked at you… thirsty. And you couldn't help but have fun.
You ran your fingers along his neck, following your every move with your eyes. You touched his jaw until your thumb was able to graze his lower lip. You smiled when, without any resistance, he opened his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on your fingertip.
Javier might have complained, but he could honestly admit that he was enjoying the game of cat and mouse. It was a nice change from the prostitutes who did whatever he wanted. It was nice to have a taste of winning someone's heart from time to time.
“Ven conmigo,” he whispered without thinking. He liked the tension between the two of you, but he honestly couldn't and didn't want to resist the urge to claim you in his bed or anywhere you let him.
“If only it were that simple…” you sighed with an innocent smile. Javier moved closer to you and ran his nose over yours. He kept his eyes glued to your mouth as his mustache brushed against your lips. His hot breath bounced off your skin as you watched him closely.
You didn't even notice that you had been just standing in the middle of the dance floor for some time. Everyone around was dancing exuberantly and you were absorbed in each other as if there was no one around.
“It wasn't a question,” he whispered against your lips and you both locked eyes at the same moment. Your pulse quickened as you realized you might have gone too far. You've never allowed yourself so much but apparently you forgot yourself a bit this time.
“Trust me, you don't want this,” you tried to discourage him but still you couldn't pull away or even push him away.
“Why wouldn't I?” he asked, completely unconcerned by your words. “If you had a boyfriend he would be here with you so it's definitely not that. I don't see any other reason why I would give up the opportunity to turn those sweet eyes inside out," he purred, nuzzling your nose.
You smiled and looked away for a moment. You had to admit to yourself that you wanted him. He was charming and you were too susceptible to that. You looked back at him, feeling reluctant that you had to reject him.
For his own good.
“My father doesn't like it when men want to claim me,” you started, hoping it would discourage him, but he didn't seem bothered by your words. “I want to spare you a bullet in your head,” you added, raising an eyebrow with more certainty.
“I'll take a chance,” he replied with a smug grimace, and without waiting for your response, he pressed his lips to yours. You were in shock for a moment, but it quickly passed, replaced by desire.
Javier sighed contently as you kissed him back. His hand quickly found itself in your hair, pulling you even closer. You didn't resist when he slipped into your mouth like it belonged to him. He tasted like cigarettes and mint unlike your sweet lips. He kissed you lazily and deeply. He took his time tasting you and took advantage of every second you submitted to his movements.
He finally pulled away from you, but only for a moment. He glanced to the side to see where your bodyguards were, so you did the same. They were busy talking to each other instead of keeping an eye on you.
This was his chance.
He grabbed your hand and leaned close to your ear.
“Give me fifteen minutes,” he whispered and pulled away to look at you. You glanced at the security guards again and back at Javier. It took you less than a second to make your decision. You nodded gently, which was immediately met with his reaction. In a few seconds, you were out of reach of the dancing people and out of the sight of men who were supposed to protect you from such situations. Luck was in the agent's favor.
You tried to keep up with him, but your shoes were of no help. Javier glanced at you over his shoulder and with a smirk on his lips, he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly to help you a little.
You glanced over your shoulder towards the bar but didn't see anything that might catch your attention. They haven't noticed you've disappeared yet. You smiled to yourself because it meant you actually had a chance to have some fun.
Before you knew it, you stopped at one of the cars. Javier unlocked the door and opened it for you. With an encouraging smile, he offered his hand to help you inside. You accepted his help like a proper lady. Your pulse quickened as the door slammed shut and Javier appeared in the driver's seat. You swallowed, watching as he closed the door and pushed his seat back. He straightened up with a sigh and looked at you with a smirk.
“Fifteen minutes, start,” he said and leaned towards you, connecting your lips.
This time he started more aggressively. He tangled his fingers in your hair, deepening the kiss, which gained momentum with every second. You moaned into his mouth, feeling the lack of air begin to cripple your lungs. And that's when Javier pulled away, only to grab your thigh and pull you on top of him. He did it so naturally that you didn't even have to make an effort when you sat on his thighs. His hands were immediately on your hips, pulling you even closer. You spread your legs further as he pressed you against him and connected your lips again.
You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling it, making him growl against your lips. The sound echoed between your thighs in a wave of tension.
His hands immediately went to work, pushing your dress up to your waist. You moaned into his mouth as he squeezed your cheeks.
“So soft,” he murmured against your lips and moved his hands down to your thighs. His fingers squeezed every inch of your body that happened to be within his reach.
You didn't have to wait long before you felt his fingers trailing down the inside of your thighs. You didn't even hold back your panting into his mouth due to the sweet anticipation that was pulsing throughout your body. You inhaled louder as his two fingers ran from the very bottom up your pussy, collecting all the wetness that had managed to escape from you. Javier growled, gripping your hip tightly.
“You haven't worn damn panties all evening,” he announced, running over your wet hole once more. His cock twitched in his pants at the thought of having you at his fingertips all evening, and you who knew it very well. “Shameless girl,” he growled, sliding two fingers into you.
You moaned, throwing your head back and he immediately attacked your neck. He placed wet kisses and nibbled at your skin as his hand worked wonders between your legs. His fingers slowly moved in and out of your pussy. Wet sounds and your moans filled the car, instantly raising the temperature.
Javier didn't waste time because he didn't have enough of it.
Enough to satisfy you but not enough to enjoy you.
He reached with his free hand towards the glove compartment and took out a pack of condoms. You were too busy to even notice that his mouth disappeared from your neck for a moment so that he could open the package with his teeth. His fingers worked wonders inside you, slowly flexing at the point that made his palm wet.
You opened your eyes as you began to miss the feeling of his lips on your skin. You looked down just as he finished putting on the condom. Your pulse quickened even more when he looked up at you.
“Come on, baby,” he encouraged, pulling his fingers out of you. “Lift your hips for me,” he ordered, running them over your clit.
You moaned softly and immediately obeyed his command. You felt him shift restlessly beneath you, positioning himself perfectly at your entrance.
You didn't need his command to slowly lower yourself onto his cock. For a moment, you lacked the strength to make any sound. Only when you sat on him with your full weight, you moan loudly. Javier watched with parted lips and heavy breathing as his cock disappeared inside you.
“You're so fuckin’ tight, baby,” he moaned and pulled you closer to him, connecting your lips in an intense kiss. You tightened your fingers in his hair and he gripped your hips. “Dance for me,” he whispered against your lips and dug his fingers into your flesh, forcing you to move.
You slowly began to ride him as his lips stayed on yours and his arms held you tightly against him. You moaned softly into his mouth as you set the perfect pace, rolling your hips on his cock.
But it wasn't enough for him. That's why he started pushing his hips towards you. You both began to pant heavily into each other's mouths as Javier entered you with strong thrusts.
“Oh… fuck yes, baby,” he growled, feeling you tighten around his cock with every movement of his hips.
You leaned back against the steering wheel, trying to follow his movements. His gaze fell between your bodies and he watched contentedly as his cock disappeared into your pussy again and again. The wet sound that accompanied it was like something from pure porn.
“She's so pretty with my cock inside her,” he said, his voice laced with sex and you could only moan louder. Your hands grabbed onto anything they could to give you a sense of stability. Javier began to moan softly as he entered you faster and faster.
Your eyes fell on the inside of the car for a moment. You panted heavily, looking around until your eyes landed on something shiny. Despite the darkness, you were able to easily make out the shape of the badge. Your hip movements began to slow down as you looked back at the man who was currently inside you. You breathed heavily, looking at him carefully.
“No, no, baby. Don’t slow down,” he groaned in disappointment and looked at you. Only after a while he notice that you were looking at him as if you were seeing him for the first time and, what's worse, you froze in silence. Javier frowned, breathing heavily. "What’s wrong, cariño?" he asked confused.
"What do you do for living?" you asked simply.
Javier was silent for a moment, then he understood. He turned and looked at the badge lying on the backseat. Fuckin’ hell. He sighed heavily and looked at you again. There was no point in lying.
“I'm a DEA agent,” he told you, his cock twitching inside you in anticipation. You slowly calmed your breathing as everything that was happening started to sink in.
You were fucking an agent who probably wanted to get information from you.
You felt a wave of cold wash over you, making you involuntarily tighten around his cock and he groaned at the feeling.
You straightened up slowly, keeping your cold gaze on him and with one movement you swung your hand, hitting him on the cheek. His cock twitched inside you again at the sudden blow, but he didn't speak. For a moment, he didn't even dare to look your way.
But when he did and opened his mouth to speak, he was hit a second time. This time he had to move his jaw to relax, and only then did he look at how calm and angry you were at the same time.
“Maldito hijo de puta…” you started, wanting to call him the worst names, but he quickly cut you off. His hands tightened on your thighs, which caught your attention.
“I just want to help you,” he started gently and you frowned. You didn't know whether to laugh or punch him in the face again.
“I don't want your help,” you growled.
You felt his arm wrap tightly around your waist, holding you in place. Not that you were struggling, but he wanted to make sure you wouldn't pull away when his other hand pressed between your bodies.
“It wasn't a business proposition, princesa,” he said confidently. You opened your mouth to argue with him but you felt his fingers on your clit; instead of words and curses, a surprised moan came out.
Javier watched your reaction carefully, slowly massaging the small spot that could render you speechless.
“I can get you a new life,” he continued, completely indifferent to the fact that you were trying to catch your breath. "Away from the crap your father deals with."
“Vete a la mierda,” you choked out and he pressed his fingers harder. You moaned louder as you felt his movements begin to have the desired effect.
“That's what I'm doin’,” he replied confidently. He watched carefully as your eyes closed and your lips parted in pleasure. He felt everything he was doing to you, every squeeze of your pussy made him shiver. “Think about it, cariño, new identity, no killing and no drugs. Normal life." He sped up his finger movements, feeling your hips thrust towards him. Your body sold without much problem, but at least you could think straight.
“You want me to sell myself like a puta,” you pointed out. Javier growled under his breath, but not because of your words.
“I want you to buy a better life for yourself with a few pieces of information.”
“Nicely said,” you snorted under your breath in disdain at his words.
“You're a smart girl, I believe you know deep down that my proposal is mutually beneficial,” he continued, but your attention was focused on your building orgasm. You started breathing faster, focusing on him, afraid that one wrong move and you would lose the long-awaited fulfillment. "You have to promise me that you will think about my proposal."
"Or what?" You raised an eyebrow, waiting for his response, but he just stopped moving his fingers. You felt your orgasm slowly fade into oblivion. “Mierda… okay, okay, I will think about it,” you growled, furious. Javier smiled with satisfaction because it was enough for him for now.
He moved his lips closer to you and touched your clit again, the feeling of your orgasm building again. You didn't need much this time. You started rocking your hips gently for additional stimulus that was still deep inside you. Your slow movements of your hips and his fingers combined in a pleasurable race for fulfillment. You mentally cursed how much you hated yourself and the agent under you. You felt like a traitor, but luckily his touch drowned out your remorse.
You moaned softly into his mouth and he drank it like the most expensive whiskey. Your hips sped up a bit, chasing the pleasure that was about to reach its peak at any moment.
“Oh yes, baby, I can feel she wants to cum,” he moaned into your mouth. These words sent chills throughout your body, straight to your crotch. "And I will only let her because I am close too."
You moaned louder and your hands quickly found their way to his hair. You clenched your fingers tightly, moving your hips faster. Chasing your orgasm, you even ignored the way Javier gently stroked your back in anticipation of your fulfillment.
“Come on, baby,” he moaned and began to move his fingers more intensely on your throbbing clit.
A few moves and it was all over.
A few movements of your hips and you froze motionless.
A few movements of your hips and your body shook with shivers of fulfillment.
You squealed into his mouth, feeling your hips shake from your intensely sweet orgasm. You tightened around his cock again and again, making him groan throatily.
“Fuck— good girl,” he choked out, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. You moved your hips once more to get comfortable on him. This, combined with the passing orgasm, finished him off as well.
You felt his cock inside you start to throb again and again and his kiss became harder, almost crushing your lips. You squealed softly, but he drowned you out when he finally growled throatily in satisfaction.
You stayed in silence for a few minutes, calming your breathing and collecting your thoughts. Javier was furious at his mistake because he hoped that your conversation would turn out differently. But there was nothing he could do now to change the past.
But all you cared about was that you fucked a fuckin’ DEA agent.
“Will you consider my proposal?” he finally asked and pulled away to look at you. In silence, you glanced at his eyes and face and nodded gently.
"Yes."
But you weren't really going to spend even a second on it.
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