#i love him like i birthed him myself
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camavinga you are our brightest star 🤩🥰
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.
like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?
and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain���and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?
the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)
#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into.#anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what?#because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time.#i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore.#and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part#which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth#like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen#and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love)#i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love#like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life.#and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad-#and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do#because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far)#anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot.#succession
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Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."
And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao
Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)
Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."
Or something I'm messing around UGH
#the reason everything changed is bc joes mother passed away either shortly after Maccies birth or during#that started the strain w joe and sr but they also had.. her yk? its just sillay#dysfunctional karate family ily <3#sr isnt a terrible father he is just narrow sighted and firmly believes he knows best. he doesnt give his kids the room to grow- but he#really loves them. he just wants to protect them in a way i think.. he just lost his wife and i think that made his parenting way more#overbearing. buT ALSO. JOE JUST BEEFS W MACCIE BC YK SJXNXNX theyre siblings#espexially when they were younger. teen joe is sooo funny to me. teen angst ft this baby i dont want in my room KGLZLGKXMVKKC#in current theyre much much closer and Joe has remained Maccie's favorite person. but Joe still gets really annoyed / tired of her sometime#SRRY ugh ily karate family#also also ronin and maccie dynamic so real. i like ronin being patient with children. except maccie is wayyyy more antagonizing to him than#like my oc the lost girl. so fun!!!! sorry#karate maccie#rh head canon#< new tag#karate joe#sr isnt a bad dad on purpose agenda. sr could have the possibility to apologize and fix things one day.#maccies only ever known this version of her father and she doesnt have the capaxity to try and forgive him for certain things joe will#maccie is the golden child but she is also the problem child. she uses her favor to her advantage and to rile up her dad sometimes#just bevause she can and she has a little bit of a problem with him sometimes bc.. you know? shes a very ambitious teen and she doesnt wsnt#to be shackled..... and she doesnt like thinking of Joe as that way and UGH#i love them im normal#to elaborate a tiny bit more i hc joe as having chronic fatigue like myself. hes low spoons and he pushes himself despite it.#but his disability holds him back sometimes snd its like.. you know? he doesnt want to be the weak memver of the family so he keeps pushing#but he also cares about karate too. its not something negative to him. and stuff. even if its hard. its avtually good for his body / health#when he doesnt overexert himself anyway
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let it be known…. bestie!sukuna does a killer winged eyeliner
#sharp enough to cut a man and that’s his goal i just know he does the meanest winged eyeliner for you in class#you hand him the pen w/o saying a word and he’s immediately grabbing the back of your head to steady you#if suguru sees that he’s like What Thw Fuck Is going onnimm gonna be Sick#firmly believe that reader & everyone in school has a mini crush on sukuna#i say mini bc he is so fucking sexy but the moment he opens his mouth you’re like damn… i regret all my life choices why’s he yelling at me#anyways. reader is the only one who can tolerate sukuna and vice versa <3 reader is friendly so everyone loves them#but like. BEST FRIEND wise? it’s sukie & reader til death does them part 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 i love them so much idk why their dynamic makes me so happy#okay i’m just talking to myself in the tags rn hmmm how do i want him to look#pink hair + black undercut OBVIOUSLY. face tatts/body tatts OBVIOUSLY.#ear piercings + helix + industrials + eyebrow piercing + nose piercing + snake bites + tongue piercing OBVIOUSLY#he’d also wear reading glasses. FKN nerd 😹😹😹 i have 20/20 vision i can’t relate 🤭🤭🤭#immaculately dressed & insanely intelligent you can call sukuna a lot of things but you can’t call him ugly or dumb#i think he’d have reader’s birth flower tattooed on him too just as a nod to how much he loves/cares for them <3#where should he work… maybe at the same tattoo shop as suguru? yeah maybe that could work#sukie’ll be a piercer while sugu is a tattooist yeah that checks out#maybe they’re in the same frat? yeah that could work part 2#okay YAY cool i’m glad i’m fleshing him out :3#snippets#personal
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what makes rhaegar so interesting to me aside from him being a narrative black hole is that his entire life was a saw trap
#rhaegar targaryen#asoiaf#his entire life from day one the literal moment of his birth is him in a saw trap#how was he ever going to get out??#specifically after duskendale the situation with aerys escalates so quickly: but that’s still his father and his king#and then aerys brings in varys and it’s SO fun. like there’s no way out.#literally stopping myself now before i start talking about harrenhal#and come out of a delirious haze like seven hours later#also i love him fyi btw in case that wasn’t clear
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Showing up to my job at an elementary school and having a kid excitedly say “Ms. Toodles you painted your eyelashes!” (my mascara) is probably one of the cutest things I have experienced there
#this kid also acts like I birthed him myself#he is adorable and I love him#he’s my little angel#I need to paint my nails for him#he likes picking colors for me#teacher life#toodles✧
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Denji is like a son to me I’m literally so fond of him and protective of him. Everytime I see him I’m like wow there he is I’m so proud. Hashtag motherhood or whatever
#correction: denji is like a daughter to me#anyway. back to the above#even when he’s being cringe. bc I just feel like an embarrassed mom in a grocery store#but it’s my baby child who I birthed myself so I love him anyway#.txt#csm#denji#cc
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have a fluffy lad
#grim draws#gabimaru#jigokuraku#hell’s paradise#this is a redraw of a manga panel#he’s so cutie I’ll probs draw him more#I was looking him up on wiki for a color ref and I found out that his birth name is Tsuki???#that’s literally my cat’s name and she was sleeping on my lap all while I drew this#and that’s super funny to me#also shout out to sun my bestie who I was on call with while drawing this and we only talked like half of the 2 hours#why is it that when I post images they’re always SO PIXELATED#I DONT EVEN DRAW THAT SMALL ANYMORE ignore that this takes up like. about a third of the canvas like that’s a decent size considering I had#two more sketches on this canvas#I’m so proud of that hand it’s so shaped. sometimes I love myself#I was gonna say something else. OH YEAH gabimaru is so sweet and I love his design#fluffy hair + short + eye bags he’s literally my favorite type of character#rooting for him to make it back to his wife !!!! they are so cute together#I have a joke to make .but I’m saving it for another post#okay bue
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I quite literally just had a fucking movie moment to myself
#I was reading this thing and I wanted..#I coveted so fucking badly it was like a wail coming from my chest#it was the great a horrid yawning cry from within my bosom like a wet raw dripping want#and I sat there convincing myself that only this convoy of love counted that I wanted so sharply so badly#that surely this must be the truest show of love#and I lay there . with clenched fist and eyes wet with a feeling so sharp and wanting within my like a blade placed at birth#and I simply had to keep fixating upon the thought that#I must trust. I must trust that when it is said that I am loved that I am loved#when it is said I must trust it because I trust him and I don’t think he’d lie to me about this#he would not say he loved me if he did not#and yet the want in my chest yawns and wails sharp as ever#he loves me I know he loves me and I love in#but by god sometimes I wish that these wants like blades might be put at ease#and purr with the true acknowledgement of that strange thing they’ve declared the truest love:#[_________]#<- redacted because I am not telling all of tumblr the key to what my horrid heart has decided is truest love
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hi!
sorry, I don’t want to be pushy, but I wanna ask.. do you have a baby ? I mean I’ve never met any exol before who is already a mom 🥺
if it’s true I wish you to be always happy and healthy omg ❤️
hi anonie 🥹 aw, dont worry, you're not being pushy at all!! yes, i do have a baby :') hehe well a toddler, lol. he just turned 3 in july!
i know a few exo-l mommies!! (from when i was on exoltwt like 8 years ago and now i keep up w them on ig n stuff hehe) but actually it's so crazy now that i think about it. cus i started stanning exo almost 10 years ago when i was in my late teens!! i was still soooooo immature and i especially couldnt imagine myself married or w a family. but now im like a whole grown up? like i have a big girl job, husband, kid, house, cars, etc. i pay bills and i have to make my own dr appointments 😭 and like its so insane how much has changed in the last decade but the ONLY thing that remained constant in my life is eXO WE ARE ONE SARANGHAJAAAAAAAA
but thank you <3 i wish you’re always happy and healthy, too, lovie! :') <3 <3 <3
#💌#anonie#i remember when i got pregnant at like 24 i was like “wtf im only a teenage girl like i need to be AT THE CLUB"#but like i always wanted to be a mom and it wasn't like my partner and i weren't trying ya kno#sorry tmi but. ya lol#AND AFTER I GAVE BIRTH I WAS LIKE “OMG I GET TO TAKE HIM HOME? LIKE U GUYS TRUST ME W THIS BRAND NEW HUMAN?”#AND WHEN A LACTATION NURSE CAME TO TEACH ME HOW TO BREASTFEED I ALMOST DROPPED HIM LMFAOOOO#i mean it wasnt funny at the moment but now it is lmfao#also im suuuuper lucky i have a great support system that encourages me to go out and have my own my life apart from being a Mom#like it was really important to me that i didn't lose myself#but anyways i love that lil boy so much omg hes my best friend#lisacore
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i swear to g-d im& not even the jealous type but jfc i HAAAAAAATE this feeling when im& just lowkey like. who's :)))))) this :))))) bitch 👀👀👀👀🔪🔪🔪🔪 :))))))
#arcana.vents#& its like. kinda irrational bc we're just friends & just vibing & we're not even together but like. i cant help it so fuck me ig lmao#like obvi he can have friends & shit & w/e so im not gonna like. tell him anything bc i dont wanna like push him away or push anything yk??#& he said he missed me & everything but like. damn. why arent you talking to me like that. i wish you would talk to me like that.#i miss you too & i wish you would tell me you loved me more :<#im just like bitch chill he aint even your man. but he's sweet & good to me & he's deadass one of the funniest ppl ever.#& we have literally so much in common & he said i was a miracle & resilient since birth & that sb should make a documentary about me ehehe.#& we're both autistic poc4poc & have a lotta solidarity between our communities & he makes me blush & giggle & i love his curls & his smile#& the color of his skin's so pretty & he said that it'd be neat if we just. played videogames in a pillowfort#& he makes spongebob refs & he likes anime & horror & buffy & ethel cain nicole dollanganger & lana del rey & he got a nasty ass vocabulary#& he said it'd be cool if we explored abandoned places together & go to concerts together & he has the cutest name ive deadass ever heard#when nicole said ''when i see you i cant find the words to speak my cheeks go as red as two big cherries'' & ''you're so cool''... YEAH.#im gonna start fuckin chewing on the fuckin walls dude. im GNAWING at the bars of my cage. i need him to firmly grasp it.#i wanna feed him the world's sweetest strawberry!!!!#we have lost the entire fucking plot besties lmfaoooo#& i rarely if ever feel like this for cis dudes & my mind is blaring sirens like he gonna leave me im just. getting war flashbacks to. yeah#the red sirens be blaring like HE'S GONNA ABANDON ME!!!!! its so irritating#ill be goddamned if i EVER feel replaced to that degree ever again. id actually rather get hit by a car & throw myself into the sea lmao#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BPD SPLITTING I HATE YOU#this was from a few hours ago but i forgot to post it so lmao
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i need a psychological evaluation on my feelings for blaine from glee
#i’m in love with him#but i also feel like i birthed him myself#i think i would die for him#blaine anderson#glee
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For the emotion challenge thing how about F3 Sokka + fistfight with god? Love your art btw!!
omg when did you send this anon cuz i just saw it 😭 omw to make this it will only take me between 1 hour and 45 biz days probably 🫡
#no but no kidding this is maybe like at least 6 months old cuz i remember doing that challenge last year i think#i will do it tho i love drawing sokka did yall know i actually birthed him myself !!!!#thank you so much!!!!!#anon#asks
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Lazarus and some tea 🎃🕸️☕️
#oc#art#artist#original character#poc characters#dark academic aesthetic#vampire#my art#oc art#dont judge pls#vampire oc#dark academia art#dark aesthetic#cozy aesthetic#cozy art#spooky#spooky art#halloween aesthetic#help idk how to draw hands#hands are so hard to draw#is that something in the shadows?#yalls i just realized that no one is going to be interested in my ocs if i dont post them#like how will anyone even hear about my dear boy LazALots if i cant even build up the courage to share him with no one but myself#so anyways he likes to drink tea and he collects everything he can get that will remind him of his birth home because he was uprooted#from his childhood during The War (which one? idk man its a fantasy world) so now he's desperately trying to grasp on to any remnants#of his past that he can hold onto.#i love him to bits but he's depressed as hell. I know my headcannon of him isnt true to his character but i just love him so much i want to#see him happy cause when else will he be? he aint gon be happy on his own thats for sure#he's also supposed to have eyebrows but i guess thats optional for him#he pulls off the no brow look quite well
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summary: clan leader!gojo needs a favor from your clan but as the leader you refuse, so he proposes to give you a child since your husband is unable to.
"and what am i to do when the child comes out with a white head of hair and blue eyes?"
“if that happens…” he undoes the knot that holds your kimono together and pushes the material down your arms with no resistance from you, “…then i’ll kill your husband myself and marry you.”
nsfw ahead cw: historical au, infidelity, pregnancy, creampie, child birth, satoru is pathetically in love. featuring samurai bodyguard geto and toji.
“i thought we had solved all our business with the gojo clan” your husband says from the door he leans on.
“and i did” you emphasize the i since the head of your clan is you and only you went to the clan meetings that got things solved. you tapped your lips a little bit more to place the reddish pigment looking at the mirror, “but satoru summoned this meeting and gave no details.”
“satoru huh?” your husband points, not letting go unnoticed the fact you used his first name without formalities.
“all right” you take one step back checking if your kimono is proper, “see you tonight” you peck his lips lightly to not ruin the tint on yours and proceed to the carriage outside.
for years the gojo clan and yours avoided each other due to some very old beef that no one remembers or even was alive when it happened, so when your mother passed and you assumed as the new head you soon decided to reach out to make peace with the current head of the rival clan and a friendly relationship was restored. more often than not you two met, sometimes with other clan members or even other clans when necessary, but today gojo insisted on being just the two of you.
toji, your bodyguard, opens the carriage door when you arrive and give you his hand for you to step out.
to avoid any issues the place of the meeting was always the temple middle way your residences. from time to time your families attended the prayers there, that’s when your husband saw satoru for the first time.
“where’s his wife?” he asked the first time you pointed the white-haired man as the clan head after you made peace.
“he doesn’t have one.”
“fiancée then?”
“i don’t think so” you both watched discreetly as he greeted the monks.
“i find that quite odd. what about the black-haired man?” he pointed to geto, gojo’s bodyguard, “could they be involved romantically?” geto leaned to whisper something to his master, a little bit too close if you might add, a few more inches and his lips would be touching satoru’s ear. his romantic life was no business of yours but you didn’t like the idea of him having any partners, didn’t seem right, though deep down you knew it was very unlikely for a handsome man like him to be alone. both men somehow found your curious gaze.
“geto” you greet the known bodyguard as you enter the temple, and he bows to you, your bodyguard nods at him as well and you’re guided to the secret room.
the conversation went on for almost an hour, satoru served you tea when he noticed you finished yours, which was unusual for a clan head to do such a mundane task but he always insisted no servant join on your private meetings. you always thought he was particularly paranoid about spies, but that suspicion was dismissed when you had your first meeting with other clan heads and he didn’t oppose the people that stayed in the back of the room waiting for their master’s orders.
“satoru we went over this on the last meeting, why am i here?” you are getting impatient, satoru always seemed relaxed when he was at the temple like it’s the one place people don’t come to him with problems, so he tended to do things without any rush at all.
“so impatient…” he smirks, “i was getting to the point but fine. i need your doctors for a few weeks.”
because of the many wars and the necessity to heal mainly the samurai your clan became specialized in healing techniques and remedies instead of combat.
“is someone injured?” you raised your eyebrow, it wasn’t likely for satoru to ask for something like this when he could’ve sent a letter.
“no. but we are expecting a conflict soon and—”
“let me stop you there satoru” you raised your hand and for a second you saw a glimpse of annoyance cross his features, “we don’t get involved with battles anymore, the healers go through extensive training and i can’t risk losing them in battle.”
“so instead of putting their knowledge into practice you rather keep them locked in a room reading books?”
“they are busy with research at the moment” you raise your chin unwilling to budge on the matter.
“is that so?” he tilted his head smiling “and how many people does it take to figure out your husband is infertile?”
you widened your eyes, this is way too personal of a matter for someone else, especially another clan head, to know.
on the other side of the door, geto and toji guarded the room, they were close enough to listen to the conversation and without turning his head geto looked at toji with his eyebrow raised, to which toji only nodded confirming the rumors.
“you’re not the only one with little birds across territories, sweetheart” his smile only seems to grow.
“that is no business of yours. besides, lending you my healers will only harm my clan and, as i said, put them at unnecessary risk” you managed to find your composure back and avoid the infertility topic.
“don’t you trust i have the best warriors? you seemed to when we came to your aid” he reminded a time you asked for their men.
“i paid for that.”
“and what makes you think i won’t?”
“we don’t need money.”
“i’m not talking about money” he drops the volume of his voice.
“listen, satoru—” you rise to your feet sensing the tone of this conversation is off.
“i’m listening, for a very long time i’ve been listening” he rises as well and takes a few steps in your direction, “you know what i listen to? the rumors about your family threatening to make your brother head of the clan if you don’t bear an heir soon.”
you take a step back.
“or the resources you’ve been spending to research a treatment for your husband. tell me, darling, can he even get it up for you?” he is too close now, you can see all the details of his insanely blue eyes.
“he— that’s not a problem” you accidentally confess.
“of course it’s not, look at you” his finger brushes your cheek and the touch makes you burn under your skin, “i could give you a child” he lowers his head to your ear, running his lips on it, “a healthy, smart, beautiful child” he presses his hand on your belly over the thick material of your clothes, “and it wouldn’t even be an effort” he presses his hardened member on your hip.
“and what am i to do when the child comes out with a white head of hair and blue eyes?” you look into his eyes challenging him to a solution.
“if that happens…” he undoes the knot that holds your kimono together and pushes the material down your arms with no resistance from you, “…i’ll kill him myself and take his place as your husband.”
you gasp, not expecting such an answer from the man you always watched trying to find a way to avoid violence.
satoru kisses your jaw then your cheek and when he gets close to your lips you turn your head, your conscience only now, in this intimate act, attacking you.
“he’s not fulfilling his duty” he whispers, letting go of the knot on his kimono, taking your hand and putting it on his chest. you open your eyes, not even aware you had closed them, and see his sculpted torso, so close to you, so warm…
“it’s not your fault, can’t you see?” he raises your chin, “it wasn’t meant to be, unlike us” you know he’s just telling you what you want to hear, but in his voice everything made sense.
“you’ll see” he picks you up and lowers his body with you back to the mat in the middle of the room, his kimono is still around his arms while yours was forgotten somewhere else, leaving only the very thin, dress-like, white undergarment that pretty much showed everything.
satoru lowers his head to your chest, his tongue wetting your nipple over the material, “i bet you’ll become even prettier” he replaces your breast with his hand, big and hot, and goes to the other nipple, “with your breasts heavy and a big belly” he sucks on you, hardly, you put your hand over your mouth.
satoru raises your legs over his shoulders, “your feet will get tired” he kisses the inner thigh, “but you’ll still come and see me” you thought it sounded like a question, it was a statement.
his head goes down, as he kisses your folds your back arches, he licks a stripe ending on your clit and flickering it.
satoru starts to lose himself, he gets too intoxicated by you, almost forgetting time is running against him here. he doesn’t have much longer until your bodyguard gets suspicious and calls for you, and by the way your hand is tight against your mouth he doubts you’ll be able to give a proper response.
he wants to make you cum before he shoots his load, suguru’s intel told him you asked one of the doctors if the woman needed to come to increase the chances. it doesn’t take much medical knowledge to interpret that question.
you cum on his tongue pulling him out of his dreams where he imagined himself doing that every night after those boring fucking meetings he has to attend at every slight inconvenience in his clan.
“it’s gonna be okay, just relax for me” he pushes his length slowly before you get the chance to see his size. you whisper his name behind your hand and he can’t stand not seeing your whole face, so he takes your hand out of the way and kisses your wet lips pushing his tongue and swallowing your moans as he goes deeper and starts to pick a pace.
satoru holds back a curse, reminding himself he’s in a sacred place and although anyone would say that’s ironic given what you’re doing in the temple he would argue that’s even more sacred than what most people prayed for.
you start to feel his weight down on you as he trusts get sloppier, he’s still kissing you, holding your lips with his when he twitches and fills your insides, in your drunk mind you think it’s so much more than what you’re used to.
after he catches his breath he pushes himself up and out of you, you allow yourself to close your eyes for a brief moment but you open them wide again when satoru pushes his cum back into you with his finger, “keep it deep and warm for me, yes?”
one hour later you pass through the door your bodyguard slides open for you to enter your chambers. on the way there you realized there’s no chance he and geto didn’t grasp on what was happening inside the room.
“toji?” you call before he can close the door and go to his personal room, he stops, indicating he listens although he doesn’t respond with the formality others usually do, “i trust you won’t share with anyone what happened today” you speak firmly looking the tall man behind you over your shoulder, his scar stretches slightly with his smirk, the man bows and closes the door.
they said it was a road accident, the horse got spooked and ran, by the time they found it there was no rider so they searched your husband and found his body down the mountain.
the ritual was long, you wore the traditional widow clothing, accepting the kind words of the clan members and the prayer of the monks. though you really were sad, all this pity was making you sicker than…
“at least you didn’t have kids, no child deserves to grow up with a dead father” an old lady says to comfort you while holding your hands.
“excuse me” you turn around walking slowly to not raise suspicions and as soon as it is just you on the other side of your home you bend your torso and throw up all you’ve eaten before the funeral.
you cough and when a tissue enters your field of vision you immediately take it and clean your mouth.
you feel your stomach empty but the light volume below it reminds you of whose fault it is.
you raise with the tissue on your lips to say thank you and the sight of the white-haired man makes you choke.
“shh, it’s okay, i’m here as an ally, to give my condolences to a friend in grief” there’s absolutely no seriousness in his tone.
“what about the war?” you ask through heavy breathing.
“that was child’s play, don’t worry, your healers will return safe and sound in a few days” he puts his hand on your shoulder to calm you down, you do.
satoru takes a second to drop his sight to your belly, it has been a month since your last encounter, and by your sensitive stomach he knows that one time was enough for you to get pregnant.
“do you think you can hide it for another month until the wedding? then when the child is born we’ll just say it was a premature birth” god, your former husband’s body was barely cold and gojo is already planning the wedding and what to say about the baby.
“why now?” you look up at his mischievous eyes, he knows what you’re asking truly.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about, it was an accident right?” he touches your face, brushing away a tear that came out, more of a natural body reaction of your gagging than a sadness reaction.
“satoru, tell me” you demanded.
“i just reflect a little you know? when i said i would kill him you never asked me not to. besides, i don’t want another man to think they own what’s mine” his eyes are darker, you think he’s talking about the child in your womb but by the intensity of his gaze, you realize he’s talking about you. “if you need anything tell suguru, i’ll have him staying in the village until we announce the wedding.”
“no, i have toji, don’t want anyone suspecting geto’s intentions” you defend.
gojo doesn’t seem to like it, but he doesn’t argue either, “either way, i want to see you. meet me at the temple in five days, we’ll talk about the arrangements” he leans in and kisses your forehead before turning away and then back “i almost forgot” he reaches for something inside his sleeve and pulls out a shiny golden bracelet with gems and puts it on your palm, you know you can’t wear it now but god it’s gorgeous, “came from the west especially for you” he puts his hand on top of yours and leaves it there for a long moment as you look into each other's eyes. satoru is fighting the urge to kiss you, if someone catches you he can’t say he’s comforting his recently widowed friend, so he forces himself to let go of you and go head back to his village.
the midwife instructs you to push harder as her helper dabs a wet cloth on your forehead. you’re squatting, on your knees giving your all to push the baby out.
finally one last push is all that it takes for the little one to come out, you want to lay down and close your eyes, but you need to see the baby first so you mumble something with your arms open, the midwife cleans baby’s face through crying and screaming.
“it’s a boy” she whispers putting him in your arms. satoru enters when he hears the cries and kneels in front of you. behind him are both suguru and toji, who aren’t allowed to enter but the men are also very eager to see the child they can’t help but try to peek.
you balance the boy in your hold for a little bit till he stops crying and when he opens his eyes you see the blue sky.
“give him to the father, we’re not over” the midwife says.
“what?” you, satoru, toji and suguru ask. the last two get an angry look from the midwife and remove themselves from the scene.
“the next one will come out soon” she puts new towels below you.
“two children? at once?” you ask in disbelief then look at satoru who can only smile apologetically.
after god knows how long you’re finally allowed to rest as the babies were cleaned and fed. the second one was a girl, with identical blue eyes as her brother and father.
“i can’t believe you put two kids in me” satoru is outside the wooden tub, breaking all tradition by helping you bathe after the birth.
“can’t say i’m sorry for that” he rubs your shoulders, “you were incredible” he confesses now that there’s only the two of you. satoru refuses to even let your feet touch the floor, he takes you out of the tub once the water starts to cool down, placing you on a dry surface and getting on his knees to dry your feet, you reach out to touch his face.
“i love you, satoru” you blurt, overwhelmed by your feelings for the man who was once your rival.
he looks up from his position, taking the hand on his face and kissing your palm, then your pulse, he kisses inch by inch of your arm until his lips are on yours, “i love you.”
"pay up, pretty boy" toji approaches geto.
"excuse me?" suguru looks up from the sword he's polishing now that gojo dismissed him for the rest of the night.
"i said it was gonna be a boy."
"yeah and then a girl came out right after so the bet was invalidated."
"there's no such a thing, the boy will inherit it all anyway" toji crosses his arms, geto laughs, fishing a coin from his pocket since he knows toji will say anything to win the bet.
"and what makes you say that? there's two clans and now two heirs" toji snatches the coin as soon as he sees the silver glow.
"that's just how it has ever been" he turns his back to geto who drives his attention back to his sword.
"things are changing old man.
dividers by @/cafekitsune
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