#and I sat there convincing myself that only this convoy of love counted that I wanted so sharply so badly
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I quite literally just had a fucking movie moment to myself
#I was reading this thing and I wanted..#I coveted so fucking badly it was like a wail coming from my chest#it was the great a horrid yawning cry from within my bosom like a wet raw dripping want#and I sat there convincing myself that only this convoy of love counted that I wanted so sharply so badly#that surely this must be the truest show of love#and I lay there . with clenched fist and eyes wet with a feeling so sharp and wanting within my like a blade placed at birth#and I simply had to keep fixating upon the thought that#I must trust. I must trust that when it is said that I am loved that I am loved#when it is said I must trust it because I trust him and I don’t think he’d lie to me about this#he would not say he loved me if he did not#and yet the want in my chest yawns and wails sharp as ever#he loves me I know he loves me and I love in#but by god sometimes I wish that these wants like blades might be put at ease#and purr with the true acknowledgement of that strange thing they’ve declared the truest love:#[_________]#<- redacted because I am not telling all of tumblr the key to what my horrid heart has decided is truest love
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