#i love foolish alien so much you guys don’t understand | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gaitwae · 4 years ago

Text

The Blessings of Damsels [|] Batman x OC

read on AO3!

Warnings: Slightly open-ended, hinted love triangle.

Length: 8.4k

Summary: A short timeline of how Charlene Park got over Clark Kent and set boundaries with Bruce Wayne.

=-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-==-=-=

=-=-=

The wind felt exquisite on Charlene’s skin, calming her racing heart. It wasn’t every day where her life flashed before her — she had been left under a pillar near LexCorps, then saved by an angel named Superman. Her eyes, shut tightly and pressing away tears, helped her forget exactly why you couldn’t go back to Metropolis. It had been a week, and, yet, here you were. She was hiding from someone too important to her. Charlene was hiding from shaking buildings and crumbling roads and screams and glowing rocks and a reporter who kept disappearing every time that Superman kept showing up.

She was done with the lying and the rejection.

She didn’t plan on jumping from the rail where she was standing. She didn’t want to hurt herself. She just wanted to see something else.

So, in search of new scenery, of something alien to her, Charlene went to the most dangerous city in America. Albeit, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, it was something that at least distracted her. Central City was just too far to drive, and Gotham was supposed to be the sister city of her home. She could just forget about this man who had worried her sick, she could just relax and listen to the cars run and the flags flap and smell the sulfur and petroleum and the flowers in the box on the building beneath her. Way up on this rooftop, she let her surroundings melt away her fears.

Char sat on the ledge of the roof, setting her fingers under the concrete lip.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” a deep voice said, startling her. The stranger set a sleek, covered hand on her shoulder to secure her. “People jump all the time. I hope you’re not looking for an escape that way.”

“Um,” Char started, trying to find her voice, “I wasn’t going to jump. I was just trying to get over someone.” She cleared her throat and dusted her clothes off. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Not that it’s important… but he’s kind of important in Metropolis. I had to leave.”

There was a hum from the man who was behind her. Char looked up, seeing a black cowl and stubble dotting a square jaw and set lips. There was a familiarity to him — not that she knew him, but that she had seen him somewhere before. Charlene felt… well, not safe, but there was something comforting about him. As she looked closer, she noticed a large silhouette of a bat was weaved into the fabric on his breast.

Batman.

“How important can he be? He’s not Lex Luthor, is he?” the vigilante asked. He sat down next to Char, setting his cape underneath his legs so it flowed beneath him. His lips twitched upwards, but not quite.

“He’s one of the biggest writers for the Daily Planet newspaper,” she said, laughing sadly. She felt like an idiot. Why was she spilling her guts out to this stranger? “Clark Kent, such a dork, but he’s always in the building. I work with him. I’m a newscaster —”

“Charlene Park,” he filled in. He turned to look at her, bright blue eyes gazing into her own orbs.

Charlene blushed. She wasn’t surprised. This was the Batman. He was crazy smart. Who knew how much he knew about anyone at the Daily Planet. Rumor was, Superman worked there, so of course, he might have known something about it. “You know my name. Creepy.”

He gave a slight nod as if agreeing with her. “You said it yourself. You’re a newscaster. I make it my job to watch the news.”

“For Metropolis, too?”

What a stupid question, of course for Metropolis too —

“Yes,” he said, patient and friendly. “Superman lives there. I have to know if I ever need to interfere. If he was ever mind-controlled, I need to be able to step in and save the world. The other members of the Justice League aren’t capable.” Each word that came from his mouth didn’t seem arrogant or rude at all. Batman was almost… melancholy.

“So… you’re all by yourself?” she asked.

“I have my kids. They’re trained pretty well,” he replied. He turned his gaze out to Gotham City. He had a firm stare, unwavering and determined. Her heart dipped, sorry for him, impressed by him, and so… so weirded out, too.

Charlene looked out at the city, too. “I don’t have kids. I don’t have anybody. My parents died when I was young, I was never adopted, and I don’t have siblings.” She scratched the back of her neck. “Clark was my friend back in Smallville. It’s just been so odd, recently. He hasn’t been around as much, he’s been tailing Lois Lane, and I’ve been breaking my own heart over and over.” She sighed. “Don’t get me wrong — Clark’s a great guy! But…”

“That’s why it’s hard to get over him,” the Batman supplied. He bowed his head. An understanding was hidden beneath layers of quiet. “I don’t know what it’s like to be in love with some kind of Clark Kent, but I know what loneliness is, Miss Park.”

“Char.”

“Char,” he corrected himself.

She cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. “Do you still feel lonely? With your kids?”

He shook his head a little. “Not as much, no. There are times I feel lonely, but I’ve been blessed. Your blessings will come, Char.” He turned to look at her. “I hope that helps.”

“It does,” she said, smiling. “What makes you so sure I’ll have blessings? I mean, you coming to talk to me seems heaven-sent, but that’s not a guarantee.” Charlene twisted her hands together, now restless. The Batman took his time to collect his answer.

“You’re a woman in her mid-thirties who still pines over her high school sweetheart,” he started. “You had one good thing, and it either ended or you grew apart. You built others up instead of yourself. You’ve waited patiently for what you want — but not for everything. You let some things go for others. You fought for everything and you’ve sacrificed it all. The foster homes were nothing, and yet it was the worst thing to live through. A kid with no one made herself into a someone, even if it was half of a someone.” The Batman rested on his elbows. “You’re too scared to let people go, but you’ve accepted people letting go of you or setting you aside. Char, you’ve got to have something coming to you.”

Charlene was stunned. How did he know all these things? Was she that obvious? Was she an open book? Or was that the hero of Gotham doing his job, once more? Oh, she couldn’t tell. Her skin prickled from both his sheer guesswork and the chilling night air. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Wow. You got all that just by listening to me for a few seconds?”

“And from feeling it myself or seeing my kids struggle with it.” He unclipped his cape, standing up. He wrapped it around her shoulders. The Batman stood close, but not too close. This was all too surreal. Charlene didn’t know how to feel. This stranger was becoming less and less of a stranger. She knew he wouldn’t want to be too close, and it was foolish to think that they would be close. This was just a weird talk about Clark Kent on a Sunday night, on the ledge of a rooftop. Being in love with Clark Kent was the least of her worries, anyway.

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t protest. She waited about thirty seconds before saying anything. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Her larynx didn’t want to cooperate.

How to phrase this?

He set a hand on her head, signalling for her to continue.

“If I wanted to talk to you again, how would I be able to do that?” she whispered. “I feel as if you’ve understood me more in ten minutes than my shrink has in years. Not to mention, you might be able to relate to me more than my shrink can. You said you felt some of this stuff yourself. Are you an orphan, too?”

“That’s more than one thing,” he said. He looked down at her with a glint in his eyes. “Just go back to Metropolis. You’re needed there.”

Charlene stopped. Of course. Right. She put her palm to her forehead. “You’re right. I’ll have to just face Clark like normal.” She barked a laugh. “You’re a hero, Bats.”

“Good to know.”

Char stood up. “You might want this back, won’t you?” She flapped the cape around her shoulders. She felt silly. She didn’t know this man. She knew nothing about him, and she was talking to him like she was talking to Clark. She wasn’t a writer; she wasn’t an interviewer; she was a reciter. This was all new to her.

The cowled detective hooked a thumb in his belt. “I’ll walk you back to your hotel room — you can return it then, Char.”

=-=-= “The Batman Incident” was what Charlene came to remember that night as. It was fresh in her mind for weeks, as fresh as the minutes she had lived through it. Any time she felt crisp cool air on her neck, any time she was alone at night on her balcony, she was instantly reminded of the interaction. Charlene didn’t ache or wish or anything like that, but it didn’t stop her from trying to figure out why the moments felt so real compared to anything else she had been through. Out of all that, she had been now, instead of Clark’s hurt bothering her the most, it was the Batman’s words ringing in her ears.

Char was sitting at Clark’s desk with the writer himself, now. He was leaning against it, scratching his head and playing with his glasses. Kent was antsy. He groaned, turned, then slapped his hands against the desk with a deep, deep sigh. “I can’t believe Lois caught an interview with Bruce Wayne. Wanna know the weirdest part?” he asked. He looked into Char’s eyes, pure confusion dressing his face.

“What’s ‘the weirdest part’?” she asked, repeating what he said exactly how he had said it. “She’s gotten interviews with the president of McDonald’s, before, Clark, I’m not exactly surprised. Lois is talented.” Char reached over the desk and grabbed a cup of coffee that had been nearly emptied, though had enough for her pleasure. She didn’t need to be an anchor, today. It was supposed to be her day off. She wouldn’t have even come in at all if Clark hadn’t asked her.

Charlene really needed to stop doing things because Clark asked.

“The weirdest part was how he never accepts interviews. In fact, he asked if Lois still worked at the Daily Planet.” He shook his head, pinching his nose. “He asked if we could hold the interview here, otherwise it wouldn’t happen… oh, sometimes I think billionaires hate me…”

“Makes sense,” Charlene agreed. She propped herself up on her elbows. “Why wouldn’t they hate reporters and journalists? They could be talking with Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman.”

Clark laughed dryly. “You have no idea how much I wish I was having an interview with Batman. Instead, I have to deal with Bruce Wayne.”

“Lois is having the interview with Wayne, Clark. Calm down. It’ll all be okay.” Char stood up, patted his back, then sat back behind his desk and took a long sip of his coffee. “Besides, Bruce Wayne can’t be that… scary…” She trailed off. She saw the elevator to the writing room open.

The man walking out of the elevator and toward her was not who she was supposed to be seeing. She might have been bad at recognition in general, but she remembered that square jaw, those blue eyes. She hoped against hope she was seeing things. “I take it back,” she whispered to Clark. Her old friend kept shooting his eyes back and forth between her, Wayne, and Lois Lane, trying to put the pieces together quickly. Charlene stood up, a smile tugging up her face at the sight of the man she wasn’t supposed to know. “He’s terrifying.”

“Charlene —”

“Mr. Wayne,” she greeted, speaking louder than Clark intentionally. “Welcome to the Daily Planet. How are you, this morning?” She extended her hand outwards to take his. Mr. Wayne took it, gave it a firm shake, then smiled broadly at her.

“Charlene, right?” he asked, squinting his eyes and setting a hand on her upper arm in a friendly manner. His suit was about as straight as wrapping paper; shiny like it, too. He was just missing the Christmas bow.

“Yes!” she grinned. She set her hands on her hips. “Charlene Park: a lowly newscaster. I hope you like the Daily Planet and find some friends, here.”

Bruce smiled. “Then I suppose we’re friends already, Miss Park.”

“I guess we are,” she said. “Friends are life’s greatest blessings, aren’t they?”

“They are, I agree.” Bruce Wayne let go of her, moving back to Lois Lane. He kept his eyes on hers. He clapped his hands together lightly. “I have an interview to complete. It was nice meeting you, Char. I hope to see more of you.”

“Best of luck, Mr. Wayne.”

When Bruce Wayne walked away, Clark folded his arms tightly over his chest. “That was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen — and I’ve seen my dad in daisy dukes.”

Char cocked her head, trying to stifle a snicker. “Clark, c’mon. It wasn’t anything. I’m fine, really.”

The man fixed his tie, taking the empty coffee cup from his desk over to the office kitchen. As he walked past her, he said, “I’ll believe it when you don’t giggle at the billionaire.”

“Maybe he looks funny!” Charlene offered.

“Har har!” Clark called. “I’m sure that’s it.”

=-=-= The interview with Bruce Wayne was done and over within record time. Charlene had never seen Lois so happy before. Bruce, on the other hand… Charlene had no idea someone could hide such a smile behind two eyes.

She was shaking. She didn’t know if she was happy, mad, excited, or scared that she knew the man behind the mask all the way back in Gotham City. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what emotion she was feeling… or if she really wanted to know the man behind the mask in Gotham City. She kept replaying the Batman Incident in her head. She didn’t want to relive it. She didn’t want to have a vigilante smile at her and know exactly who she was pining for.

Yeah, she still hurt for Clark. It wasn’t going to go away so quickly. But billionaire Bruce Wayne didn’t need to know that.

She let her mouth run twice. She needed to keep a lid on it the next chance she got. To make sure she didn’t even risk it, Charlene packed up and left early. She was at home without another run-in with Bruce.

Boy, did that make her feel worse. She felt terrible, cowardly. Running from her problems was just another thing Char found herself doing constantly. She had made herself some pasta, wrapped herself in a bathrobe over her T-shirt, and sat with a mug of sweet tea in her lap.

Her newspaper clippings of the Batman littered her coffee table. Every award-winning article written by Clark was framed up. Her old dog was sitting next to her, chewing on his toy without a care in the world. For being a coward’s safe space, it was very comfortable.

“Real brave, Charlene,” she mumbled into the ceramic as she took a sip. She switched on the TV, hoping for white noise. “Just hope I was wrong about Wayne…”

“That depends on what you think you’ve found,” said the last voice she wanted to hear. Char exhaled through her nose.

“Come in,” she called. “Don’t just hang around in the shadows.”

The Batman slipped out of her bathroom door, cowl on and frown deep. He was regal and knightly, feet apart and shoulders taught. “Char,” he greeted.

“I was hoping you could tell me if I was wrong, actually.” Charlene sat up, putting her mug aside. She beckoned him over. He sat down next to her. “I just never noticed how similar the Batman is to Bruce Wayne.”

“Similar?”

“Like your eyes are the exact same shade of blue,” she reasoned. “And you wear the same aftershave, too.”

“Charlene,” the Batman said quietly, “anyone can have similar aftershaves and blue eyes.”

“Not everyone in Gotham knows who I am.”

“Not everyone in Metropolis knows who I am, either,” he countered. “Do you really want to know who I am?”

“I know Clark is Superman. Part of the reason I’m furious with him is that he lies to me.” Char made sure her emphasis was on lies. “The allegations would be too crazy for anyone to believe, trust me.”

“There are too-crazy people in Gotham that can’t know,” he answered. “I’m sorry. Even if I trusted you above everyone, your position makes it hard for me to tell you.”

“My position?” she repeated.

The dark knight looked at her as if it were obvious. It was, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t at least hear the truth from him. “You’re a friend of Superman’s and a newscaster. I have responsibilities, a lot of them. My kids, my city, my assets.” He said assets, not money. He was a businessman at his core, even if he had the heart of a lion there, too.

“Just tell me if Bruce Wayne can answer me, then.” Charlene stuck her hands under her arms. “Since the two of you already know I know.”

“Charlene,” he said quietly, roughly. She turned her head away. She felt insulted.

It took her a second to realize it, but the Batman was pleading. He didn’t do it the same way Clark did. Clark would soften up, not set up defenses. Clark would take her hand, not give her space. Clark wasn’t anything like the Batman. He just sat, frozen, waiting his turn patiently.

She had to be patient with him, too. She wasn’t a superhero. She didn’t know what this was like for him, but she could still be patient. So to help, Charlene waited, too, for what seemed like forever. She took his hand and squeezed it. He didn’t squeeze back, but he didn’t recoil. The hand was limp despite her grip and she couldn’t say that she blamed him for it; she was thankful he didn’t rip his fingers away so soon.

“Why did you agree to an interview?” she whispered. “And… and don’t say it wasn’t you. Lois doesn’t talk about me, I wasn’t wearing a nametag, and Bruce Wayne has no reason to be watching the Metropolis Daily Planet Newscast outside of the financial updates.”

“I figured it was time for an interview,” he answered. The Batman didn’t deny it. Bruce didn’t deny it. He kept his eyes away from hers. “I remembered that you worked there. You owe me after that talk, so I came to collect.”

“You think you’re funny,” she said with a smile. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness… Lois will be grinning ear-to-ear for weeks because of you.”

“I was supposed to be meeting Clark, anyway. I figured the pitstop might be worth it.” Bruce’s lips twitched again. Char grinned broadly. He removed his cowl then faced her. “You could really tell it was me because of the eye color?”

He seemed more at home in his bat armor. He was comfortable in this grey/black getup. When he wore the crisp suit, he seemed fidgety, but when he was sitting next to her, his muscles weren’t so tense. His eyes didn’t dart all over. He was at rest as the Batman.

“You do a good falsetto, but yeah, it was the eye color.” She stood. “Can I get you tea? Or are you going to disappear?”

Bruce pressed his lips into a line. “I don’t know how long I can stay. I have to drive home tonight… and I’m not the type for this sort of domesticity.”

“I won’t tell anyone you’re docile,” Charlene promised, crossing her heart. She took her cup and went into the kitchen. “As long as no one knows about me, no one can hurt me or my family — there is no family to hurt.”

“You’ve thought this through?” he asked, footsteps not far behind hers. He stopped in the doorway. “May I?” He pointed to the kitchen wall lined with the cupboards and appliances. Charlene nodded. Bruce poked around her cabinets and her drawers, casually picking something up every now and again. She didn’t mind — he was getting to know her. He was a detective. She had nothing to hide, and he had everything to see. Win-win. “Impressive.”

“I’ve been dying to see you, again,” she teased. “You could say I’m crazy for you.”

“Not really my type,” he mused. Char could hear items jangling around behind her. “Desperation isn’t my style.”

“But stopping a girl from jumping — when she wasn’t — is?” She poured another cup of tea, looking back at the dark knight. He was holding a spatula and studying it carefully. He pretended as if he hadn’t heard her.

“My son, Damian,” he started. He set the spatula down, digging for something else. “He wouldn’t admit it, but he would love to rescue a damsel in distress. I think he would like you.”

“I’m a damsel in distress?” she laughed. She set a teabag in the cup, doing a one-eighty to face Bruce. “Who are you? Some kind of prince charming?”

“The term is ‘knight in shining armor,’” he corrected. He closed the drawer he was meddling in. “The prince is the kid from Smallville, Kansas.”

“I’m from Smallville, Kansas.” Charlene walked over to him. Bruce was still standing rigidly. She didn’t know if he knew how to relax. Could he relax? Was it even physically possible for Bruce “the Batman” Wayne to relax?

“I’m from New Jersey.” He crossed his arms, rubbing his fingers together.

“Hey. You don’t have the Jersey accent,” Char pointed out. She pulled his gloves off gently, setting them on the counter. She went to get his tea. “Let it steep for about thirty more seconds.” She set the mug in his hands. They were so large that the orange cup seemed like a plaything compared to a real item.

“I never said I interacted with New Jersey,” he said dryly. “I just lived there. I was raised by my butler.”

“Does Detroit have any superheroes?” she wondered aloud. Bruce waved the tea under his nose, scrunching his nose upwards. He took a sip without glaring at the tea again. “Your butler sounds like a wonderful man. He raised you well.”

“I’m lucky.” He paused for a moment. “Aquaman, the Green Lantern, and Amazing Man live in Detroit. Why are you asking?”

Charlene patted his shoulder, throwing away everything he had just said. Truth be told, she just wanted to hear Bruce’s voice. “Not many kids are lucky.”

“Three of my boys are adopted,” he said quietly. He rubbed the mug that she had given him. “I give to adoption centers. It’s important to me to give kids homes where they’re loved. Clark Kent’s only known family’s love, and that’s what drives him. What drives me is the chance to make sure all sorts of people never have to worry about losing it.”

“I admire that,” Char murmured. “I wish I had a family of my own, but I just don’t have the time.”

“Someday, you’ll find the time.” Bruce gave her a smile. “I promise.”

Charlene smiled back. His small smiles were infectious. “I’ll hold you to that, Bats.”

=-=-= “Hey, Charlene?” Clark called from the living room. She was too busy combing her hair out and fixing her gown. She had received a letter in the mail (honestly, who does that anymore?) from Bruce, inviting her to a charity gala with him. She almost gave Clark a heart attack when she started laughing triumphantly at some paper. He wasn’t particularly happy that Charlene was going for a night on the town with Bruce Wayne, billionaire bachelor supreme. “Are you okay up there?”

“I’m fine, Clark!” she called back. “I’m just seeing a friend, tonight. Tell Martha and Johnathan I won’t be able to come to dinner tonight. I’m going to a foster care fundraiser with Bruce Wayne. I’d think you’d be coming to interview some of the guests there since you were adopted, too.”

“I can’t! I don’t have any way to get in. It’s private, Char.” Clark was starting to sound impatient. “Are you going to meet him or is he going to meet you?”

“He said he would pick me up!” she answered, finishing her eyeliner and walking downstairs. “Does that bother you, wonderboy?” She gripped the rail, fanning out her yellow skirt around her legs. She wore simple copper chains and glass earrings — nothing expensive, but classy enough that she didn’t look like a bum. Charlene knew Bruce liked his reputation (not a lot, but still) so she thought she would save him a few steps. No jewellery, no dresses. He would just have a friend tonight.

Clark’s eyes flew open wide. His cheeks colored. “Wow… you’re going like that?” He puffed his cheeks and took off his glasses. “You look…”

“Terrible?” she fretted.

“Like an angel. Like Wonder Woman,” he said quickly. He looked down at his lenses and quickly wiped them with his shirt like they were going to melt off his face. “You’re gorgeous. Wayne is going to love it, Char.”

“Thanks, Clark.” Charlene walked over and kissed his cheek. The writer wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against his chest. He felt warm, he felt like home. She never had to worry about being something more than she was around Clark. But Bruce knew how to take her walls down. Charlene was better off with a friend than with someone who had never noticed her. Suddenly, she got an idea and pulled back to see Clark. “You should ask Lois out! I heard she likes the boys in blue.”

He stopped. “‘Boys in blue’? She knows?”

After meeting Bruce a few more times, she finally gained the courage to confront Clark about the whole Super-gig. She made sure she wasn’t going to be blown off — so sure, Char almost confessed her years-old feelings to him. She couldn’t have lived through that, even with Bruce’s support. They had talked through the deception and somehow managed to build better trust between themselves. She almost forgot why she had originally left Metropolis for that fateful encounter with Bruce Wayne.

“Clark,” she scolded gently. “You haven’t told her?”

“Listen, I’m working on it —,” he started, holding his hands up in defense. His feet slowly removed themselves from the floor. Charlene set her hand on her hip, pinching her nose.

“You promised she would know before she kissed you, again.”

Another reason why Charlene absolutely could not tell Clark she liked him. Lois, caught up in the rush of being a damsel, kissed her rescuer unabashedly in front of half the staff of the Daily Planet. Charlene’s heart didn’t break for the first time; it didn’t mean it didn’t crack a teeny, tiny bit.

“I know I did —” There was a knock at the door. Clark’s face fell into a scowl. He tucked his knees up to his chest, silently moving toward the door, and straightening his clothes out once he reached his destination. “Wait there for a moment, Char.”

Charlene crossed her arms. “Clark.”

Clark opened the door. Bruce was standing on the doorstep with a single pink rose. “Hi,” he said, giving his signature subtle smirk. “Is Charlene ready? Tim’s not too patient behind the wheel.”

“Hi,” Clark greeted warily. He kept his fingers curled around the door. His gentle manner was nearly nightmarish. Every breath was a slow calculation of how to kill a billionaire and get away with it. Charlene sighed deeply into her hand. Clark continued despite her wordless sass. “She’s ready. You better know that if you hurt her —”

“I wouldn’t do it without a positive benefit,” Bruce swore. “Besides, I’m not the one who’s dancing between two ladies. Save the shovel talk.” He pat Clark’s shoulder, pushing him aside and out of the way. When his eyes hit Charlene, his jaw dropped. She had never seen that reaction before, so her temples tingled from slight self-consciousness. “Char, you look beyond stunning. You’re shining.”

A nervous laugh bubbled up Charlene’s throat. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” She grabbed her clutch on the side table where Clark was standing. Quickly, she hugged him in a farewell. “Bye, Clark.”

Clark released a big breath, hugging her back once more. He set her back next to Bruce. “Bye, Charlene. Bruce.”

“Clark,” he responded in kind. “I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.” Bruce put his arm around Charlene’s waist. “There won’t be any need to play hero; if there is, I’ve got all I need within reach.” With that, Bruce took Charlene out of the foyer and into his limousine.

“That was weirdly intense,” Char commented. With the knight’s help, she sat next in the back of the cab. “Did he make you uncomfortable?”

Bruce took her hand and set the rose in her grasp before sitting down next to her. “No. He doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“Okay. Clark is very protective; I didn’t want you in the hospital for saying the wrong thing.” Charlene played with the rose in her hands, resisting the urge to breathe in the sweet aroma. The cab of the limousine was warm, spacious, and smelled comforting. It took her a second to realize it smelled like Bruce: his aftershave, his cologne, and a hint of something metallic. Her cheeks heated at the realization.

How close had she and Bruce become? So close she knew exactly what Bruce smelled like? So close that she wasn’t nervous about the speculations tied to being on a billionaire’s arm? She looked at the rose petals. The color always meant something — Bruce always meant something. Pink… Why couldn’t she remember its meaning outside of being her favorite color? Why? Did she just forget everything the minute Bruce smiled?

“Char?”

“I’m fine,” she said, snapping out of her thoughts. She set the rose down next to her, clasping her hands over her lap. “I guess I got so swept up in the idea of an adoption charity… I forgot who I was going with.” She looked at Bruce with a half-smile. “Thank you for taking me to this. I have as much as I can give on me, tonight; I even sold some of my old pieces of jewellery for these kiddos.” Charlene laughed nervously. “It seems so little compared to what you have… will it even be taken? I’m not an elitist. I’m not even close to well-off.”

Bruce’s eyebrows drew together. Something in his eyes softened, but she couldn’t pin what. He held her hand. “It’ll be taken. It’ll help someone, and any help at all can go a long way. You don’t have to worry about earning a position to give.” He tilted her head upwards, locking eyes with her. “You don’t have to earn anything. Not with me.”

She laced her fingers with his to signal her acknowledgement. Char couldn’t form words. She kept opening her mouth to protest but no sound came with the action — she felt helpless, yet all the same, she knew Bats would understand. Bruce let go of her hand to favor her face, instead. She leaned into the touch with a shaky breath.

“I’m not Clark, Charlene,” he whispered. “I’m not going to keep stringing you along; I won’t compare you to anyone or make empty promises. You’re more than a comparison.” Bruce brushed her hair out of her face, keeping those electric blues trained on hers. “You don’t have to earn anything from me. You don’t have to earn me.”

“I’m not…” Charlene stopped, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She didn’t want to talk about this; she didn’t want to beat around the bush, either. “Gosh, how do you know this stuff? Is it all estimation?”

“Observation,” he admitted. He kissed her forehead. “Cheer up. We don’t want your mascara to run just yet, do we?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath in to calm herself. She hadn’t realized her eyes were quite that full. “Bruce.”

He hummed, arching a brow. Yes?

“You don’t have to earn anything from me, either.” She kissed his cheekbone. The corners of his eyes crinkled, which made her smile. She rested her head on the dark knight’s shoulder. “You’re a good man.”

“But?”

“No ‘but,’” she hummed. “You’re a good man, and that’s all.”

=-=-= Saturday morning, three weeks after the gala, Charlene’s heart felt heavy and light at the same time. She couldn’t put the gala out of her mind: the party; the guests; the smiles on the Wayne boys’ faces; Bruce’s kindness. She was trying her best to think it all over. The waiters kept offering her champagne, but she declined every time. She didn’t drink out of anxiousness, yet the whole ordeal was a blur. Blurry, except the speech about the children, and the way Bruce’s smile widened every time she smiled back.

She was sitting at the window, holding a water bottle and gazing out into the street. It was raining. She had a few pink roses in a vase, all from Bruce. A note was attached, something like “Thank you for your support,” but it didn’t really matter to her. He was gentle in his own way. That was just the way the Batman was: gentle and swift, yet blunt and cold at the same time. How had she managed to stumble into his good graces? What if she brought down his reputation? What if she did the wrong thing?

The Wayne boys were very polite. Dick was making her laugh all night long, Jason knew how to talk old-money downlookers away, Tim was a good conversationalist, and Damian asked all the good questions. All the right questions. Questions like, “What’s your relationship with my father? Do you believe in this cause? Are you using my father? Do you know how to play Mario Kart?”

She almost couldn’t answer some of the questions. Were she and Bruce friends? Were they something else? Were they acquaintances? Was she being kept around because she knew who Bruce really was? When it came to Mario Kart and the adoption cause, she couldn’t say anything but “Yes!” enthusiastically. Every now and then, Bruce would come over to recharge. He seemed tired with all the interaction.

Then there was the turn of the night.

The most vivid part.

Dancing with Bruce Wayne.

Charlene stopped herself from clawing over her heart. It was sinking deeper as she recalled the moment.

“You’re nervous, Char,” Bruce whispered into her ear. “Why?” The question was innocent, concerning. He kept a steady hand on the small of her back, swaying to the beat of the soft jazz band. He was a natural at it. Charlene did her best to hold onto him, gripping his shoulder and his hand.

“I’ve never been to anything like this, before. Not even some kind of prom,” she laughed quietly. She looked down at their feet. Bruce was leading, but what else was new? The floor gleamed… Bruce’s shoes were worn, despite his money and status… Worn shoes said a lot about how he spent his money on himself. Oh! Beneath the suit, it was clear that he wore a compact utility belt — at least, it was after learning he wore one everywhere. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing, at all,” Charlene continued. “After talking with your boys, it just made me realize how scared I was to be jumping into this life with you.” She cleared her throat as she prepared to tell him exactly what was on her mind. “I know I’m just on a leash to keep you guys safe. You really don’t need to worry about me.”

The dance halted. No one paid any attention to them, keeping up with the music and circling around them. “Is that what you think?” he asked. Amusement lined his words, as well as a vague hint of hurt. “You’re just a liability?”

“I don’t know what to think,” Charlene had answered honestly.

As of right now, she still felt like a liability. Even though Bruce had promised her she didn’t have to earn anything, her heart was having difficulty believing it. She looked over at her vase of roses. Were those flowers from him? Or were they a product of manners?

Was she seeing things that weren’t there?

Bruce had been so quick to answer her when she admitted her insecurities. He had taken his hand out of hers. “You’re not a liability.” He ran his hands through her hair, pulling her closer. “If you were a liability, I would have used other ways to keep an eye on you.”

Char’s heart was racing faster by the second. “Ba… Bruce…” She wanted to call him Bats. She wanted to say so many things, just then. She wondered if Bruce could feel her pulse through that utility belt he had under his suit. His eyes fluttered shut before she realized what was happening. She didn’t want to believe it was real.

With a never ending, agonizingly slow quickness, lips met hers. Moving, soft, warm lips met hers and drew a gasp from her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to reciprocate the best she could without losing her cool.

Now, three weeks later, she hadn’t talked to Bruce about it. She hadn’t brought it up. He didn’t verbally acknowledge it, so neither did she. A kiss with Mr. Wayne meant nothing. Not in public. Not when he had a false reputation of being a playboy. A kiss between them would have meant the world… but that was in the middle of a gala; in the middle of a party filled with people Bruce was supposed to impress.

So, even though she loved that kiss, she was still confused about Clark and she was miserable about the manner it came about. She wanted to know the truth. She knew if she asked he would have an obvious answer and call her a fool for believing him.

“Hey, Charlene?” Clark called. Her ears pricked back at the sudden noise. She stood up and walked downstairs, rubbing under her eyes to make sure there weren’t any tears. She hadn’t cried, yet, but she didn’t want to start crying over it, either. “Come here.”

“What, Clark? Can’t you see I’m busy moping about — …what is that?” she yelped. Clark was standing with his writing tablet facing outward, a glower painted over his features. She could hardly care about his nasty expression, however. There she was, her yellow evening gown and Bruce’s hands laced in her hair, plastering the first article of the month. Big, bold words read:

“Bruce Wayne Finds New Lover — Will It LAST?”

“Who took that picture!?”

“You’re saying this is real?” he asked angrily. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. “Charlene!”

“I’m sorry!” she apologized, not really sorry. “We’re not lovers, anyway — it was one kiss. Who wrote the article?”

“You never kiss people you don’t know.” Clark turned the screen back to his face, scrolling down and shaking his head. “Jimmy wrote this one, I think, I recognize the alias. I should have known something was going to happen when I told him to follow you…”

“For the record, Clark, all I’ve ever wanted was to kiss you,” she snapped. “Bruce is just differe— you sent Jimmy to follow me!?” She was so engulfed in her defenses that she forgot she had just told Clark she had feelings for him. She didn’t even register the implication that they didn’t matter anymore. She was angry at Jimmy, and at Bruce, and at Clark. She grabbed a throw pillow and fluffed it furiously. She needed an outlet. “I can’t believe you.”

“It’s Bruce Wayne, Char,” he said. He set his tablet down on the coffee table. “He’s not exactly the safest guy to get involved with.”

“And neither were you! I appreciate the worry, but it’s misplaced.” She spun around to stick her finger at Clark accusingly. “For ten whole years I tried to tell you I was in love with you, Clark, so don’t even try to talk to me about what’s good for me! You hear? I can kiss Bruce Wayne if I want to.”

“You tell him, Char,” a small voice came from behind the TV stand. Charlene and Clark both froze. Charlene knew who that was. She did her best not to sigh.

Muffled, a much bigger voice complained, “Look what you did! Now we’re caught. Bruce is gonna —”

“Shh!”

Clark moved over and gently removed the TV stand. “Damian I expected, but you, Dick? That’s low. Spying on Charlene?”

“She’s a friend of Father,” the young boy answered for his big brother. “After the gala, he went to brood in the Bat Cave and when he came up, he said she was going to be more involved.”

“I think he’ll be happy to hear you like him, Charlene,” Dick smiled. He extended his legs and sat like a toddler on the floor. “We came here on our own, by the way. We wanted to surprise you by picking you up and surprise him by bringing you to Gotham. We racked his schedule up with business meetings so that we could pull this off. Think of it as a rescue.”

“Surprise me,” she regurgitated. She wanted to cry, laugh, scream, and fall over all at once. “You wanted to surprise me.”

“Sure. Why not?” Damian shrugged. “But your friend, here, got in the way with all his mumbling and weird comments about our father. He’s scary but I could take him.” That comment made her smile. Damian taking on Clark. Dangerous, but it still tickled her mind.

“They were not weird —”

“Yeah, they were.”

“Guys, guys,” Charlene interjected, “Bruce and I aren’t much more than friends. He’s just my knight in shining armor.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “If anything were to happen, it would be very slow.” She made sure each male looked at her. “Very, very slow.”

“So he does make you happy?” Clark asked quietly.

“He does,” Charlene confirmed. “It could be more with work. Relax, Clark. You’re not going to be walking me down the aisle so soon.”

He squeezed his eyes tightly, confusion coloring his face. “So when you said you used to want to kiss me…”

“It’s mostly ‘used to,’ now, yeah.” Charlene’s mouth moved before she even filed how truthful the statement was in her brain. She sat down on the couch, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I hope that’s not an issue — I know you don’t approve of Bruce.”

Clark pursed his lips. He set his hands on his hips and looked at the two delinquents on Charlene’s floor. “The gala with you and Wayne wasn’t a full-on date. Was it?”

“He and I went to sponsor the same cause and spend time together as friends. It couldn’t have counted as a romantic date, anyway,” she said. “The boys spent more time talking to me than Bruce did.”

“I saw him kiss you, though —”

“Dick, shut up,” Damian hissed. “You’re not helping.”

Clark tried for a smile. “I just want you to be safe and happy, Charlene.”

Charlene nodded, feeling much better since the gala. She had made an impression on the Wayne family? “I know I will be.”

=-=-= Charlene, in the end, told the boys she wanted to stay at home and sent Clark back to the Daily Planet to do his work. She had a lot to think over. She took a seat in her loveseat and got comfortable. She had to sit there for a long while. A kiss with a billionaire, a concerned Kansas Chiefs fan, four young men who already looked up to her, and a melting pot of feelings. If this were a young adult novel, she would have already picked someone by now. She had roses in a vase that called her name. She had a heart that wanted her attention, too.

Her whole past screamed for her to let go of Clark Kent — she was learning to set those unrequited feelings aside. He had always looked out for her and been her friend. Sometimes friendship, in the end, was just friendship. Clark was in love with Lois Lane. By the looks of things, he was starting to grow closer to her. Stepping away from that, Charlene could see he was happy; for the first time in years, that didn’t sting as much as it had before.

Then there was the new friendship: Bruce Wayne. He was more than a friend, but less than a romantic partner. His affection was a different brand than Clark’s in all the good ways. He brought some kind of freshness, a sense that she never had to pretend to be pulling herself together. She knew deep in her heart that Bruce would have a hard time being with her — she would find difficulty being with him, too. They had much in common, as well as a lot of differences. He saw through her, she saw through him. Charlene needed some kind of stability. She needed a friend that offered their hand instead of shared reliance.

Clark was the bright summer’s day that you longed for in the winter; he was the smell of newly cut grass and the way a paintbrush head felt between someone’s fingers. He was khakis and ball caps and the colors in the sunrise. He had always been the simple pleasures in Char’s life.

Bruce Wayne had already proved what he was. He was the necessity in life like the clap of thunder in the middle of the night or the hardwood floor on bare feet. Bruce was the crowded streets of Metropolis after dusk; he was petrichor after a much-needed rain, the thimble on your thumb, he was the flick of the light switch that you could never balance. He was the mundane, everyday wakeup call that life was buzzing everywhere around her.

That was the difference between Clark and Bruce. Charlene had always had Clark, but she could imagine life without him. When it came to the Batman, she had a hard time thinking about her life without the petrichor on concrete, the snippy wind on her ears, and the occasional clap of thunder. She didn’t need him, but he was her equal.

He was the equal.

Not the hero.

“I’ll have to tell him, then,” she sighed. Charlene buried her face in her hands.

“Tell who what?” a gravelly voice came from behind her. His presence was close. Char leaned back and extended her hands.

“You,” she said. Bruce pushed her hands back down, setting his own on the cushion behind her. “We need to talk about what happened at the gala, don’t we?”

“I don’t see why,” he replied. “You know it was a public display of affection.”

“From the world’s Bruce Wayne,” Charlene countered. Bruce pressed his lips into a line. “Not mine.”

“I know. I figured if the world knew you were Bruce Wayne’s, it would give you a chance to find that time you wanted,” he said slowly. “The boys could teach you how to defend yourself. You’d always have a place at Wayne Manor.”

“But what about us?” she asked, turning to see him better. “C’mon, Bats, you know that kiss was a little more than just a well-rounded plan to turn me into a Bat-Person.”

The dark knight was still for a long second. “It was a moment’s weakness. Even if we wanted to pursue a relationship —”

“We both know we do.”

“— neither of us are ready for it.”

Charlene stood on the loveseat. She cupped Bruce’s face, holding his jaw with both palms. “I agree. I think we should take our time before we even worry about labeling this.”

“We cannot be involved.” He held her hands, prying them ever-so-gingerly from him. “You aren’t ready for the livestyles I come with. I’m not ready for that kind of —”

“Domesticity,” she said with him, nodding. “I know, I know. You don’t want to be a husband, I don’t want to be a wife. No, we can’t be involved, yet.” She rested on her forearms. “You can guess what that means.”

He smiled sadly. “You won’t come stay at Wayne Manor.”

“Not for extended periods of time,” she answered with the same bittersweet expression. Char stroked his cheek. He had been so open to her physical affection. “It wouldn’t really work the way we want it to.”

“You mean Alfred will be asking about dress shopping?”

“I’ll be asking about dress shopping!” she teased. “Why are you here, exactly?”

“If I said that you no longer worked at the Daily Planet, what would you do?” he asked bluntly.

Charlene stopped. “I would ask you to fix it, right now.”

He hummed. “You want Clark, still?”

“No,” she said defiantly. She crossed her arms. “I’m just not ready to date, yet.” Charlene was quickly learning how to own herself around Bruce. She felt at home, like he was at home in his spandex. Bruce made her feel like her own woman: strong, compassionate, and happy. If he could be her complement, she could do anything. Absolutely anything.

Bruce leaned in, smirking. Charlene hit him with a pillow, which he promptly caught. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

“Promise to try someday?” she teased.

“Maybe.”

70 notes · View notes

alienahellsparkle · 3 years ago

Text

❦ List fandoms of my heart: №3 (the last).

✯ Kuroshitsuji (Dark Butler)

This anime is my guide to the world of anime, my first of all, and the first that I liked. In addition, I have been watching it since I was 13 (omg, how old I am..).

I can say, from it I learned what anime is. It is one of my favorites and one of those that I can revisit (P.S .: And I'm still waiting for the new season or new full-length films, although no one said anything or promised anything about it).

The advantages of this anime are - interesting plots, 19th century setting mixed with the supernatural, soundtracks and a huge number of different characters for every taste. As I can tell, everyone will find their ideal 2D kun or chan here.

I could single out a lot of cool characters, but I'm afraid they could be spoilers too, so I'll just mention a few of my personal favorites.

Sebastian is a demon butler and another protagonist besides Ciel. A jack of all trades, a cool killer and one of the most real handsome men who stole many hearts from the female audience, who is in many similar tops and sometimes even has leading positions. I can say that he was my very first anime - love.

Prince Soma is an Indian prince. I don't know how many fans he has, but I think not as many as Sebastian and Ciel. Actually, Soma is the one who attracted me much more and my love for Sebastian did not last forever. This is because Soma, in addition to being beautiful and Indian (which was important to me as a lover of Bollywood films and music, and also interested in Indian culture), has a sweet and good personality. Three combos!

Madame Red is a bright woman with a difficult fate. I guess there isn't much more to say here (spoilers, spoilers, damn it).

Pluto is a devilish dog. Cutie, charming, with one cool ability and mine another anime-love (those who know this character and his unusual ability - yes - yes, I know it's weird to fall in love with characters like him).

As I said, the soundtracks are wonderful - some of the tunes have some classic notes in them, and also, the opening can be recognized from a thousand and it is easy to remember which anime it belongs to.

Also, there are elements of detective and crime, which also adds its own special shades and makes this anime even more interesting and aesthetically pleasing.

I look forward to continuing with it and begin to show interest in anime of a similar genre and setting in one (I found something similar, for example, as "House of Shadows").

✯ Dame x Prince

Another anime that became my find and I can watch it many times. I liked it so much that after I found it (in 2018 it was a spring novelty), I watched almost all the episodes in one gulp and only later realized that it ends too quickly, because I could not stop in time.

This anime contains everything that I love about the reverse - harems - beautiful drawing, bright colors, romance, elements of comedy and fantasy, attractive male characters and not a stupid main character who can be respected.

We can say that Ani is one of the few normal owners of a harem, but she can be considered a diamond among them. She is encouraged by her courage and the fact that she is not embarrassed when guys compliment her or try to flirt (I could say more about her, but these will be spoilers).

Despite the fact that here the male characters are clichéd, for example - a kind cutie, handsome womanizer, narcissistic rude and so on, they look cool and interesting to watch, it's a pity that we will never know which of them Ani chose in the end.

In addition, there is one more plus in the form of a good plot, after which it helps some characters to reveal themselves.

Even if many people do not always take girly harem animes well and consider them worthless and empty, just to please teenage girls with cute romance in a colorful wrapper, this anime genre also deserves a place to be. Who knows, maybe soon the reverse - harems will evolve even more, at least there are already some anime-worthy options. Everything has its fans..

In general, this is a good and positive anime that can bring more colors to life. And I still hope for season 2..

✯ Nanbaka

When you watch a video on the topic: "Guess the gender of anime characters", you will not think that in this way you will be able to discover a new anime. That's how I found out about Nanbaka, after which I watched the first season in a couple of days.

I associate this anime with the beginning of July 2018 and the dairy drinks Twix, Milky Way and Snickers, which at that time I was finally able to taste.

Nanbaka has several advantages - a cool variety of characters, an element of comedy, and an equally vibrant color scheme. Also, I noticed that all characters have their own special difference - they all have nails painted in a different color and have small fangs.

Despite the fact that there is no romance here and the plot is built around a prison theme, Nanbaka is quite interesting to watch, and in some episodes there are elements of drama and seriousness. However, if the first season is more comical situations, then the second season is a little more serious, at least there are more problems that the heroes solve.

Of the characters, there are not only bisonens and heroes with simple qualities including kindness, cuteness, foolishness, signs of a womanizer, hot temper and severity, but there are also unexpected specimens, such as several LGBTQ characters and even antagonists.

Unfortunately, Nanbaka is not a very popular fandom and most likely there will never be a third season... But this is another solid anime that can be endlessly watched and is one of those that drags on from the first episodes.

✯ Romance Club

This visual novel often came across to me in YouTube recommendations, in the form of walkthroughs and analysis of Easter eggs from it.

At first, I was not very interested in this, and from the video, my first impression was that this is just an incomprehensible game with characters similar to cardboard figures, but for some reason it became very popular and discussed on social networks.

After some time, I still began to watch the walkthroughs and more or less began to understand what the whole highlight of the game is, and after that, I began to play myself, though at the beginning, then, I had only a plan to while away the rest of summer time until autumn, but I didn’t notice how I began to be drawn into the RC and it became not just a game for one time, it became a habit that is difficult to get rid of.

Now, it's not just a bunch of pretty cardboard character figurines and a joke that RC is a mix of films like "50 Shades of Gray" and "Twilight", made for teenage girls.

Romance Club is - characters for every taste, from whites and Europeans, to Hispanics and Asians, both boys and girls. LGBTQ relationships have not been forgotten here either.

Various stories with any setting - vampires + werewolves, pirates, aliens, 19th-18th century, royal setting, movie stars and fame, Scandinavian mythology, ancient Greek mythology, sea and beach setting, detectives and crime, ancient Japan (geisha and samurai) , angels and demons, everyday life and much more, but the creators continue to delight us with new stories to this day, and I think we still have a lot to see.

Beautiful graphics and drawing of characters, cool design of clothes, and also, here you can learn how to beautifully compose texts and sentences (let's say this can be useful for the writing sphere), since some stories contain wonderful descriptions of some scenes and comparisons of concepts (example. "Stars as luminous points," and the like).

But besides romance, other important topics can be revealed here, such as the concept of friendship, a hard life due to many problems, courage and self-confidence, and sometimes even 18+ topics can be touched upon. In addition, some stories have instructive facts, for example, something about the history of Turkey during the Ottoman Empire.

Romance Club is scientifically enlightening!

Despite the fact that I refused to play games, since they take a lot of time, during which you can do a bunch of other useful things, RC is the only game (besides the Sims) on which I do not regret wasting my time and it is always interesting to watch new stories and how the old ones will end.

(P.S.:

here is part 1 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/650656683336548352/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-1

part 2 https://lenahellsparkle.tumblr.com/post/655103141583470593/list-fandoms-of-my-heart-2)

23 notes · View notes

liron-ao3 · 3 years ago

Text

Who are you?

Reverse AU Malec oneshot

Alec looks after the archer, who has just saved his life with a well-aimed arrow. The shadowhunter takes his breath away and makes his heart clench in near-forgotten ways. Without a glamour, no one would be able to look past a man like him. The make-up, the striking colours on the tip of his hair, the flamboyant style of his clothes—Alec has never seen a shadowhunter like this in his very long life.

Who are you? he thinks, catching himself immediately before it can slip out between his lips and make him an even bigger joke in the other two shadowhunters' eyes. No matter his powers, it is clear that the blond only holds thinly veiled disdain for him, and the redhead he had grown to like over the years is unimpressed with him at best. And the third only saved him because the others want something from him. Clary's memories. Which he doesn't have any longer.

Alec's hand wraps around the pendant that he once bought for Camillo after selling his London townhouse, a courting gift of sorts. One he wants back to spite Maryse, if he's honest. The Banes simply don't deserve what used to be a token of his love. What a fool he had been. Maybe true love cannot die, but Alec stopped believing in true love at least a century ago. Nobody likes a plain warlock. If internal fights in the warlock community hadn't created clear fronts and the urgent need of a High Warlock, who had never alienated a single one of his fellow specimens, Alec wouldn't have the title to call his own.

He tries his best, but he knows that especially those older than him don't see him as much more than a useful tool. He tries his hardest to prove them wrong, works day and night, his magic equal parts based on bloodline and constant training.

Yes, he is respected due to the position he holds, but there is always someone breathing down his neck. And if it isn't another warlock or one of the Clave's brave soldiers, it is Valentine.

Speaking of which. Alec has to leave. He hasn't survived nearly four centuries just to be killed for a stupid pendant and the look of a handsome, styled shadowhunter.

He walks up to his portal, but Clary stops him. "Alec, wait! You're my only hope."

The warlock looks at her. He has to save his people even if it is the last thing he'll do. Not that the young woman would understand such duty.

"Valentine found us. I warned your mother this might happen," he says and steps out of the nightclub into his lair. He breathes a sigh of relief and shakes off the vision of dark runes and black kohl against caramel skin.

***

"Well done," a warm voice comes from behind as Alec looks down on the Circle member he took out after someone pierced the guy's leg with an arrow. He knows this voice can only belong to one man.

"More like medium-rare," he replies and winces. What a stupid thing to say. That joke was stale even before the young shadowhunter was born. But even after walking the earth for so long, spontaneous talk isn't Alec's forte.

He schools his face into a smile and turns, hoping it is somewhat believable. Once again, the sight knocks all the air out of his lungs. How can one human being, even one with angelic blood, be so beautiful?

He can't get a word out and nearly misses the man introducing himself way more chivalrous than he would expect from a nephilim towards a downworlder.

Magnus. The name befits the man, and Alec manages to stutter out his own, blushing fiercely as he stumbles over his failing attempt of an appropriate conversation opener.

Magnus smiles at him sweetly, and it makes everything so much harder. And so much more wonderful. "We should join the party," the shadowhunter says, sending a last mischievous grin Alec's way before he leaves the room. The warlock takes a deep breath and follows him to the battle.

***

When Alec's hand clicks into Magnus' as they start summoning Valak, he can already feel the energy pulsing from the pentagram through his veins, merging with his magic. Touching Magnus, there is a whole other current involved, though. Maybe it's the blatant innuendos of the young man or the confidence such a young mortal simply shouldn't possess in the face of a magical being like him. But why would Magnus see in him what no one else does? It's ridiculous, really. He's just toying with him for sure.

Of course, the unconventional shadowhunter loves his parabatai the most in the world. It's always the pretty boys who others fall for, no matter how self-absorbed they might be. Sadness spreads through Alec's chest as the other memories are pulled into the demon's vortex. Who will his heart choose?

***

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Alec," Magnus says as he finds the warlock on his balcony. Alec doesn't answer. There's no way to explain his memory away. It's pathetic and fills him with shame.

One look. It took him one look, and Magnus was the person he loved the most in the world. How pathetic! And he nearly killed the man Magnus truly loves as he broke the circle in a knee-jerk reaction. If it hadn't been for Clary's brave action...

Magnus leans against the balustrade and watches with Alec the night-dipped skyline of New York. "Do you believe in soulmates?" the shadowhunter asks.

Alec snorts. "Is that the pickup line that you and your siblings use to get downworlders into your beds?" Magnus lets out a wounded sound, and Alec regrets his choice of words immediately.

"I laid my fair share—I've been with men, women, seelies, shadowhunters, vampires…"

"I get the drift," Alec stops him curtly. He doesn't need more proof that his heart is foolish once again, giving itself into hands bound to break it. Magnus probably just wants to tick off warlocks from his to-do list. Alec, for sure, won't give his virginity to such a man. There had been hundreds of suitors over the years. Alec has never given in. He isn't that lonely or desperate that he would do it now. If he is good at one thing, then it is self-discipline, saying no to emotions and carnal urges his second nature.

Magnus shakes his head and smiles. "What I wanted to say was, I'm ready for something real, and you unlocked something in me. Given that I wasn't out for love when we met, it might as well be Cupid's magic if it hit you so hard in such a short time."

"It doesn't matter. Shadowhunters always end up with one of their own," Alec grinds out, finding it hard to keep his composure. The shadowhunter is just too unsettling. It's hard to stick to his rules and plans. Magnus is like a black hole, and Alec is gravitating towards him, thrown off his track.

"Do I look like a shadowhunter, who gives a damn about conventions?" Magnus asks.

Alec can't help but smile. The young nephilim definitely doesn't. But he can imagine what Magnus thinks about him. "No, but you look like a breaker of hearts."

Magnus chews his lip at that. "Sometimes, those are the ones whose hearts need mending the most," he says quietly and presses his palms firmly against the cold stone of the balustrade.

Alec pulls his gaze from the city and to Magnus. He looks vulnerable, his eyes shining in the moonlight. The warlock isn't sure if it is the silver eyeliner or tears glazing the shadowhunter's eyes. Magnus looks so soft. There is no teasing, no posturing, no lothario facade.

The warlock smiles shyly. Maybe, just maybe, Magnus Bane would not break his heart.

#malec fandom #malec fic #malec fanfic #malec fanfiction #reverse au #warlock alec lightwood #shadowhunter magnus bane

19 notes · View notes

captainjimothycarter · 4 years ago

Note

I would love to see a modern AU of Peggy's first Christmas away from home/the 40s! Something where she's feeling homesick and steve finds a way to throw her a 40s styled holiday

SO this is almost 5k again.

*insert your favorite reasons as to why Peggy is alive and young in the 21st century*

Peggy wouldn’t say it, even if Steve had asked, but something was wrong. She stared out the windows to their apartment in Stark Tower, she stared longingly at old photos of a lifetime ago that graced their walls. Once or twice he’s caught her muttering in her sleep about traditions.

And Steve knew what was wrong.

It was the same thing that was wrong with him, to a sense. She was homesick for a lifetime that never came to exist. A lifetime that was yesterday, last week, last month, last year to them, but to the not-so fossils (as Natasha fondly called them) around them, the 1940s was just a lifetime ago. They never knew the feeling of homesickness that you couldn’t cure by being welcomed home or with a drink or photos.

This was a sickness that wore down on you and in Steve’s case (he couldn’t and wouldn’t speak for Peggy), it came with a crushing guilt. Hot and bobbling in the back of his throat, that weighed on his soul and made it increasingly difficult to function some days when he wasn’t busy with a mission.

And Christmas time? That magical year? It just made it all the worst.

Not that Christmas wasn’t enjoyable in the 21st century, because it was. It was adorable with the twinkling lights, the heavy amounts of snow (even if the pair had an aversion to the cold), the kids running about with Iron Man-themed Christmas outfits, or even Captain America. But with Christmas came crashing memories that were hard to escape.

The worst were the parties. The mingling they almost were forced to attend because they were Avengers and had to keep up a brave face with the public and attend galas.

The last one was the hardest if you asked Steve.

“Is there a difference from then to now?” A voice at Steve’s elbow asked.

He paused in his conversation with Natasha and Bruce, seeing the way Bruce’s face pinched as he turned to look at a short reporter at his elbow. The guy wore wired glasses and had his phone in hand, already turned on to record Steve’s statement.

The blonde sighed heavily and looked around the room for Tony, seeing him caught up in the corner with a few of his own reporters. And unlike Steve, Tony enjoyed the spotlight.

For a split second, Steve wasn’t standing in the 21st century anymore. He was wearing a wool, heavy uniform, clenching a harshly wrapped present as he watched a few reporters talk to Howard Stark and Peggy Carter. He lingered on the edge, just out of the sight of the reporters. Any person with some amount of sense might’ve run away given the chance, considering how bad Captain America was at interviews, but this was one of the last few chances he’d get to give Peggy her present.

It was nothing much, but she’d complained about the rose water she used was about out and she didn’t know how she’d get anymore. He was just so lucky he’d found a shop the other day.

Blinking harshly, Steve found himself back in modern-day, with Natasha holding onto his elbow and Bruce in front of him. He blinked slowly and tried to give Bruce a sheepish smile. “I’m fine. I just...what?”

The reporter was still behind Bruce, giving an annoyed look that he was interrupted in his questioning because how dare Steve Rogers has a flashback when he’s asking a question.

Bruce didn’t look too convinced, leaning over Steve’s slumped form to whisper something into Natasha’s ear. He could hear, his ears were roaring. She immediately disappeared, leaving Bruce to sit him down.

“I’m afraid…” Bruce began, turning to look at the reporter. “Captain Rogers isn’t available for an impromptu interview. If you’d like to schedule one, please see Miss Pepper.”

“No, no Bruce, it’s fine.” The last Steve wanted to do was somehow start a discourse amongst the media. Not that the Avengers would always be in their favor, of course, but he didn’t want to risk it. “Let him talk. What was your question again?”

The man huffed and refused to sit. He still held his phone tightly in his hand. “The difference. What was the difference between there and now?”

“I don’t...understand.” Steve’s mouth opened and closed, his tongue sticking out to lick at his dry lips. “The difference of what?”

“Your life before, to now! What is it like?”

He wanted to groan and cover his eyes, feeling the start of a headache that shouldn’t even be able to exist to come to life. “Look…”

His mouth opened to explain just where the reporter could shove the question but thankfully he didn’t have to.

His wife stepped in.

Peggy dressed in a bright red, cocktail dress. It hung to her knees, white lace just barely seen underneath. She wore a white, fluffy shawl pinned in place by a star broach that looked just about as old as the fossils were. Her hair was pinned back in perfect curls, hazel eyes were boring into the reporter.

“If you cannot read a situation, Mr. Hynes, then I’m afraid you’re a shit reporter,” Peggy huffed, rolling her eyes. She stepped closer to Steve, laying a hand on his shoulder and giving him a comforting squeeze. “You’re just about as bad as the reporters before you. If you wish to know about how we are struggling to adapt or the difference in times through our eyes, then there are plenty of other blogs, reports, and even Mr. Parker’s little videos that can explain the situation better than us repeating ourselves. Which I tire to do. My husband is just far too polite to tell you to leave so I’ll do it for him. Leave.”

She took a step closer and rather it was the look on her face or the anger that she held in her voice, the reporter bolted. Steve sighed heavily and slacked into Peggy’s side. He smiled at her, reaching to take her hand. She easily fell into him. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here…” Peggy sighed, shooting Natasha and Bruce a thankful look. “I was...lost in thought, but I am told so were you. I think it’s time to retire for the night.”

There were no if, and, or buts as she took Steve’s hand and lead him out of the gala. They both breathed a sigh of relief and he kissed her softly in the little hall. It was brightly decorated with strands of silver garland and lights. Christmas music poured from the room.

“I think…” he began but stopped. She tilted her head to look up at him. “I think we...should talk.”

Peggy’s head nodded sharply, lips pursed together.

“So,” Steve sighed once they were both out of their gala clothes and into something more comfortable. They sat on the couch, a warm tea in Peggy’s hand and a beer in Steve’s. Not that he could drink. “Do you want to talk about what’s been bothering you?”

Her mouth opened, tinted pink now that the makeup was washed off. Her curls sat around her rather than pinned into place. Despite the relaxful atmosphere, she looked tenser than before. He’s seen her look more relaxed fighting the Alien of the Week than with him.

“Peggy.” He turned to face her, taking her hands gently into his own. “Talk to me and d-don’t say nothing, because it’s not nothing. You’ve been out of it and so have I, but you…”

He shrugged, not sure how to finish the sentence without just blurting out everything he was feeling. This was about Peggy, not him.

“I just…” She started, then stopped and sighed. Her shoulders slumped and she fell into his side. Her face pressed into his side. “I miss home.”

Steve’s face buried into her hair, breathing in the soft scent of lavender that seemed to linger in her hair. His arm tightened around her until she was buried into his chest. He didn’t want to let go, Peggy was home to him.

“I know,” he breathed, feeling his eyes burn with tears he’s fought off for so long. “I know, I know, my darling. I know.”

Her small hiccup turned into a soft sob and her shoulders shook. That broke his heart even more. It should be a crime for Peggy to sob, to have anything to cry over. It made him want to tear the world apart and stitch it back together, but what could be done to fix the problem? How could he fix a problem that he didn’t create?

“I do too,” he eventually whispered, not looking up when she made a sound. “I miss home too but what more can we do than miss it, hm? There’s no time travel. We’re here, but at least we’re together.”

Peggy’s face was tinted red as she pulled back, sniffling into Steve’s hand that cupped her face. “I know you’re right and I-I feel foolish about sobbing over this, but I can’t help but miss it. Our friends, our family, everything. The silly traditions war brought about us. You must think…”

“I think nothing of the sort,” Steve breathed, sitting up so Peggy was back against the couch. “Pegs, I love you. I miss it too but you…you got to live it. I did not. I had the sanctuary of being frozen and I don’t know what’s worst. Being alive and living all the decades or waking up in a new century. And...running through two walls…”

“Three walls, two teams of Agents, a glass window despite a perfectly working door was beside you, and into Time Square. It took me over fifteen minutes to track you down.”

Her pink lips quivered at the memory of meeting her beloved again. She should’ve been there when he woke up but duty calls when you’re a director and Steve’s timing as usual went against all she had planned.

“Yes, anyway…” The tips of his ears started to turn pink. “Either way, it’s okay to miss what we once had, Pegs. It’s okay, you don’t have to be upset about crying over that. We can’t help it. We can just...bring it here with us.”

Taking the fuzzy blanket, a gift from Tony, she wrapped it around her frame and smiled softly into Steve’s side when he wrapped her into another hug. “Do you remember our first Christmas together...shortly after you rescued Bucky?”

“You mean the Christmas I got both of us into the river? I swore you would’ve been so mad at me…”

“I should’ve been but your immediate need to take care of me despite you were starting to freeze yourself and your constant apology warned it off.”

“Well, it’s not my fault that we’re both terrible at kissing.”

“It is your fault because you tripped!”

“I tripped because I’m an oaf in giant shoes.” He snorted into her hair, feeling Peggy rolling her eyes at him.

“Yes, well, it seems to become a tradition after that… The next Christmas, you fell into the flooded ditch. Sergeant Barnes had to scrub you clean. No one else would get near you. The next one after that we were on a mission with the...the Howling Commandos and the roof flooded-”

“That wasn’t my fault. Jim chose the farm to take sanctuary in. We didn’t know it was going to storm!”

“And yet, all the water came down onto just you.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “And the last Christmas…” Steve felt his throat tighten. “I was going to ask you to marry me but…”

But Bucky had died, then the Howling Commandos were called on a mission, and he was forced to leave his gift of chocolate cake in Peggy’s tent.

Then he died…

Peggy’s arm tightened around him and she pressed a long kiss to his jawline. He could feel her heart beating against his.

“We’re together now, you’re right. I’m grateful for that, please never think that I am not. I just miss it sometimes. The popcorn strings on the trees, the simpler music that isn’t so...so barbiarcly loud.”

“Handmade ornaments, my ma and I used to make them. She’d hand-sewn a tree skirt. Getting Christmas Trees from the orchid. We’d make a fort and wait for Santa. I always fell asleep. We couldn’t afford much - ma and I, but she’d handmake me presents every year. Teddybears, clothes, even one year she worked overnight just to make me a pirates costume.”

“Oh, darling that’s so precious.”

Peggy’s eyes were misty as she imagined younger and skinnier Steve running around in a little pirate costume, wearing it out until he was far too big for it.

“My brother and I used to turn off all the lights and light candles in the house. An even number so we didn’t have to fight. I’d wear a halo made of candles, fake candles, and a white dress. We’d sit by the fire and read stories. We’d string up the Christmas Tree. We’d have dessert first Christmas Day.”

Steve smiled into Peggy’s hairline again, tilting her head up so he could press a long kiss to her lips. “There’s nothing saying we can’t bring that here.”

Pepper and Natasha showed up on their doorstep bright and early the next morning, much to Peggy’s dismay. Be as she may, the greatest agent and director of Shield, Peggy Carter was not a morning person. Not even with Steve. It took half a pot of coffee before she’d even speak sometimes. Not that the pair cared, they just whisked Peggy away, without explaining as much as an answer as to where they were going.

I hate you. PC

Uh-huh. SR

You did this. PC

And what exactly did I do? SR

You had Pepper and Natasha kidnap me. PC

Kidnap isn’t the word I’d use. You willingly went. SR And no, I didn’t. We have some rare downtime, Pegs, hang out with our friends. SR

You’re up to something, Rogers and I want to know what it is. PC

Whatever it is, Mrs. Rogers, you will just have to wait and see. SR

I hate you. PC

I love you too. SR

Steve sighed as he set the phone down and rubbed at the back of his neck. He felt Sam brush by him with a box of items, followed behind an amused looking Bucky and Clint.

“Don’t,” Steve breathed at Bucky. “Don’t you say it.”

“I’m not saying nothing,” Bucky mused. “Just that Pegs is gonna kill you for this.”

“I would kill you for this,” Clint declared, picking up a dusty, plaid, looking ribbon before Steve snatched it from him. “Hey!”

“Careful with this stuff, okay? I know, I know what it looks like but Pegs is just...homesick.” His eyes fell to Bucky, who to a point could understand. His face slacked and he turned over the ribbon in his hand. “I’m just trying to be…”

“A good, devoted husband that’s sickening in love,” Sam commented, making Steve roll his eyes. “We get it, man. We do. It’s okay. Just tell us how to help. Tony is already looking for the music. We got a projection set up for the outside.”

“And Pepper, as of ten minutes ago, has secured the perfect dress for Pegs,” Bucky mused, turning his phone to show it to Steve. “Alright, Stevie, where to?”

“Natalia, what is all this?”

The name purred from Peggy’s mouth as the limo (of all things, of course, a Stark would give a limo ride back to the Tower) came to a stop and Happy eagerly open the door. She was met with the sight of Avengers Tower lit up in lights.

Christmas lights lined the exterior of the building, lighting up every other floor and frame and while yes, the bright white lights and the flood lamps were beautiful, what caught her attention the most was the red carpet, the trees lining the walkway to the normally heavily guarded entrance. The exterior looked…

“The Stork Club,” Peggy gasped, covering her mouth with a shaken hand. A date that would never come to be, somewhere she had foolishly waited for her date. Howard had walked her home after a brief dance with her and Dugan.

Bittersweet memories.

The air felt colder around her as Happy’s hand curled around hers and she was eased out of the car, feeling her legs to be made of ice. A figure was walking towards her, the lights surrounding him almost made him look like a walking shadow. She’d know that build anywhere.

Steve stood in front of her, wearing a beautiful, cashmere suit. The dark blue in the jacket lit up his eyes and the soft blue of the tie brought out the green flecks in them. Compared to him, she felt underdressed almost. Her dress was the shade of red she’d once worn in a bar in the middle of a war. It flowed around her ankles, a soft trail left behind her as she was spun around in his arms. Her hair was pinned up perfectly, Pepper had carefully studied hair tutorials, as did Natasha with the makeup.

It seems Steve got a little sense of fashion from Sam and Tony. Lord knows Bucky and Clint had none.

“St-Steve,” she breathed, nearly falling into his chest from shock alone. “What is this? What’s going on?”

“A night to remember,” he purred in answer, bending down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “Would you care to join me, my love?”

Her arm looped around his without hesitation, shooting one last look at Natasha and Pepper, both women looking pleased as she was lead inside.

It was the music that caught her off guard. Shortly after Thanksgiving, the tower started to be filled with obnoxious Christmas music. Too loud for her taste. Now it was filled with soft jazz, the music and trombone sounds made her heartache more than Peggy could describe.

Inside the lobby, everything was gone. Gone were the desks, chairs, plants, and even the large Christmas tree. It had been replaced with a much smaller receptionist desk, a red curtain blocking their entrance. She could hear the sounds of a fountain nearby. A small Christmas tree awaited in the corner and behind the desk sat an amused looking Clint.

“Name?” He asked as if he hasn’t saved Steve’s life or hers a hundred times over.

“Mr. Rogers,” Steve replied, squeezing Peggy’s hand. “And Mrs. Rogers. I know we’re a bit early for our reservation…”

“For once,” Peggy snorted, making Clint snort into his hand.

“Better late than never,” Clint replied, waving them through the self-opening curtains. “Your diner reservation is just in the elevator.”

Behind the desk, Peggy saw the large fountain. It was made of marble, carved into angels blowing trumpets, so the trumpets spit the water onto the fountain. A Christmas tree decorated elegantly sat behind it, a few presents wrapped in burlap or even newspaper, old newspaper at that, sat tucked underneath it. She barely had time to admire it before she was whisked away and towards the elevator.

This is the only thing that remained the same, smooth panels with no cranks or loud noises. She can understand why, both she and Steve were sensitive to loud noises.

Her mouth opened, taking a step back to admire Steve’s look and the smile on his face. “I-”

His head shook and she felt her shoulders slack. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Thankfully (she’s still unsure if so), the doors answered for her and opened up to what would’ve been their common dining room. Instead, it still held the floor to ceiling windows that welcomed them to a night sky. Not the normal skyscrapers, New York skyline, but instead one that looked...well, 70 plus years ago. The floor had been replaced with a hardwood that made her heels click and clack as they were lead deeper inside the room. The spot where their living room had been with comfortable couches and tv-sat a dance hall with couples she’s seen around the Tower weaving back and forth, in each other’s arms. They were dressed similarly and even a band played a few feet away from them.

Instead of being caught up on that, Steve whisked her towards the communal kitchen, a few tables sat out and one with the name Rogers on a placard sat for them. He held the chair out for her, Peggy still a bit stunned as she sat down. He had barely just sat down before Sam walked over in his little, dapper suit, a tray in hand.

“You look dashing, Sam,” Peggy purred, feeling her cheeks flush. “Did you cook?”

“Do you trust anyone else to cook? I wasn’t about to let Stark hire some foolish chef. Besides, I owe ya’ll a favor.” He pulled the top of the tray off and smiled at the delightful look Peggy had. “As requested, dessert for dinner. My mama’s homemade Chocolate Cake, Cheesecake, Carrot Cake, Chocolate Mousse, and well...the list goes on and on. Steve did say you loved chocolate. Oh, yes, and sticky toffee pudding. That is if a certain James didn’t eat it.”

“He was fond of it years ago,” Peggy chuckled, helping Sam take the plates off to spread across their table. “Really, Sam, none of you had to go through this trouble for me.”

“Of course we did, Pegs. You deserve it. Now, for dinner, there’s pecan-crusted, honey salmon or duck with roasted potatoes and greens.”

“The duck, for both of us,” Peggy answered, sharing a look with Steve. “The last time Steve had salmon, he choked on it, so he avoids fish.”

“It’s not my fault Pinky didn’t clean it right,” Steve grumbled, shooting Sam a thankful look. “Again, thanks, Sam.”

Picking up a fork, he held a forkload of Sam’s chocolate cake to Peggy’s lips. His eyes were on those lips as she took the heavenly bite and sighed with relief at the taste exploding on her tongue.

“Steve, what is this?”

She pulled back to look at his face, unaware that a bottle of wine and glasses had been set between them.

Steve’s shoulders shrugged, busying himself with pouring them a glass of wine. “You said you missed...back then. I missed our date. I wanted to make it right. I...I know what you said, that by being alive I’ve more than made it up but still…”

Peggy had to blink hard to clear the mist from her eyes, reaching out to caress his hand and bring it to her lips to kiss the knuckles softly. “And you went through all this trouble for me?”

“You’re worth it.”

Lord, she was going to sob by the night was over, wasn’t she? Steve was determined to make her cry.

Their meal was wonderful, as always when Sam cooked. Even the duck that he had brought out with a too-happy of Bucky’s help. It was excellently cooked and moist and the flavors, Peggy could’ve kissed Sam for how good it was and she was sure Steve was in an agreement.

Bucky came back around to help clean the table off, returning once more to take Peggy’s hand. She gave him a skeptical look as she was taken off of her seat and lead onto the little, dance hall. Instantly the band started to play something sweet and slow. Something she shouldn’t be dancing with James.

“What are you doing, James?” Peggy asked, her head laid on his shoulder as he held her one hand, the other wrapped around her frame. They swayed gently from side to side. “Tryin’ to make Sam jealous?”

“That man doesn’t get jealous,” Bucky snorted, rolling her eyes. “No, dollface, Steve always felt bad how you avoided dancing because of him, so…” He shrugged and for God’s sake, he was blushing.

James Buchanan Barnes was blushing.

“So you decided to fulfill that for me. Thank you.”

She was spun around the second her lips touched his cheek and right into Sam’s arms. She laughed as he dipped her before swaying with them. Bucky had disappeared up the elevator and she could’ve sworn he said Steve’s floor.

“Sam, I wanted to thank you again…”

“Nothing to it, Pegs. You deserve this little night out and I think we all had our own fun planning it, especially Steve. You should’ve seen him, getting all Captain-like, giving out orders. I think Bucky was close to knocking him out, he was stressing us all out. The guy just wants this to be perfect.”

“It is. Even without all this...every last detail, it’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you think so.” The voice purred behind her. A hand was held out in her vision and Peggy took it, being lead right back onto the middle of the dance floor.

Steve dipped her lower than Sam and kissed her. A soft, loving kiss that made every inch of her nerves scream to life. She sighed into his lips as she was tilted back up and swung back to her feet. A giggle escaped her as they swayed.

They’ve danced more than a few times since Steve being found but this was different. This was a man trying to play to make up for lost time and she loved him for it. She loved him even if he didn’t try this.

“So, what do you think, Mrs. Rogers?”

The way he purred her surname still made her toes tingle, a shiver running down her spine.

“I think you’re an absolute madman for dragging our teammates into this. I think you’re an idiot for crashing the plane, but…” She pulled her head back from his chest to look into his eyes and smiled, feeling the tears start to burn her eyes. “I know that I love you and this is amazing Steve, so...so lovely, so beautiful. I-”

She started to tear up again and Steve held her tightly, kissing her cheek. “I know,” he breathed. “Let’s not make tonight about lost time and just enjoy this because I know the guys are going to make me pay hell for this later.”

“You deserve it, don’t you?”

“I...might’ve gotten ahead of myself, but it’s worth it for you.”

“Steve, what in the world are you doing?”

Peggy’s laugh was addicting, it caused a rush to flood his system. Steve couldn’t help his own snorting chuckling as he kept his hands securely over Peggy’s eyes and marched them slowly into their shared living space.

“Keeping a surprise from you. Bucky, Bruce, and Thor helped finish this last minute.”

Removing his hands, Peggy finally got to see what was behind curtain number three.

A fort sat in the middle of the living room. Huge blankets drooped over chairs and the couch cushions. Inside was large blankets and pillows. It was surrounded by fairy lights, the same fairy lights decorated around their apartment. Garland and tinsel decorated the walls. A large Christmas tree sat in the corner, adorned with even more garland, homemade ornaments, and popcorn strands. A projector displayed from the ceiling, a movie already waiting to play.

“Steven…” Peggy couldn’t help the soft sob that escaped her lips, her hand covering her mouth. This looked like her childhood dream, just more modern. He’d taken the time to take things out of her life and to bring it to life.

“I know it’s not much, especially compared to before but…”

He was silenced with a heavy kiss on his lips. It made him want to faint into her arms.

“You stop that. It’s everything I could’ve hoped for and more. You even have the fireplace up and look, JARVIS has prepared us books to be read to us. Hot cocoa.” Even outside, despite the weather, it projected a blanket of snow in some English cottage.

Steve’s face was a bright shade of red. He made a shrugging motion and rubbing a hand over his neck. “Tis nothing...Why don’t you go change into something comfortable and we can relax after that night of dancing?” Steve never thought he’d be thankful for two bathrooms, normally they shared one, and shared one shower together but he wanted to give Peggy time to calm down. He emerged later with wet hair, sweatpants, and a t-shirt thrown on. He wasn’t surprised to find Peggy already waiting for him in the fort, curled up around hot cocoa. She passed him a mug and crawled into his waiting arms.

“Thank you, Steven,” she yawned into his shoulder. “For giving me one last night of our past. Thank you for understanding everything.”

“I told you,” he breathed, setting his mug aside and kissing her hair. “You’re not alone in this. I’m glad I could give you a night to remember.”

“Mhm..”

Steve chuckled at the sound of a sleepy Peggy, laying them back amongst the covers. JARVIS switched the lights off without asking, the only light in the room was the fireplace. He yawned and kept his arms around Peggy, rubbing up and down her backside.

“JARVIS, can you play the first book?” He asked, keeping his voice low.

“Of course, Mr. Rogers. Now playing The Night Before Christmas. T’was the night before Christmas…”

#Steggy #Steggy Prompt #StevePeggy #darlingcarter #Christmas Fluff

30 notes · View notes

the-creative-lie · 5 years ago

Text

Caffeine

pairings: loki x reader

genre/warnings: fluff. basically mother hen!loki

word count: 1.4k

summary: reader is a mess of a human who survives on coffee and spite and loki is not having it

notes: based on an ao3 request. if you guys want a part 2 let me know!

You’ve been typing this report for what seems like forever and you still can’t get it right. In all fairness, this is not meant to be your strong suit. You know how to kick butt. You know how to cause a scene. You don’t know how to change the stupid font size on this goddamn thing. Suddenly, the whole screen goes black. Then white. “What the fuck?” you whisper to yourself. You frown. “How-” You start to hit every single key, as if that’s going to do anything. “C’MON YOU PIECE OF SHIT. WORK.” “You know that’s only making it worse, right?” Loki shows up next to you. Or maybe he was already there. How long has he been there? You look at your surroundings and realize that the lights are pretty much out, and that everyone seems to have gone to bed.

“Well excuse me if I don’t take computer advice from a three hundred year old alien god from space,” you huff. “What time is it?”

He takes the computer from your hands and puts it down on the coffee table. “Darling, it’s two am.” Your eyes widen.“Ah, fuck. I didn’t- what-” “Have you eaten anything?” he asks, annoyed. He always has that face around him. You tend to test his patience. He wants to take care of you, so he doesn’t understand why you don’t want to take care of yourself. “I… huh…” you ramble, still confused and trying to connect all the dots of how exactly you let four hours just pass you by without noticing. “Coffee.” “That’s not an answer,” he frowns. “It’s also not food. Let’s go, I’ll make you something.” You run your hand through your face, frustrated, and start padding towards the kitchen after him. You go to make yourself another cup of coffee, but Loki just snatches the mug off your hand with a scowl and puts it back on the cupboard. He goes to open the fridge and you could swear you hear him angrily muttering at himself. “You can’t keep extending yourself like this, you know?” he says quietly. He takes out a few eggs and some other stuff from the fridge and starts to whip up some scrambled eggs and toast. You stare at the whole process, a little bit confused, trying to figure out how Loki, of all people, even knows how to make scrambled eggs. “I was just finishing that stupid mission report. It’s not that big of a deal,” you justify, taking a seat on one of Tony’s fancy high stools and laying your elbows on the bar table the team usually has breakfast on. “Today is the mission report. The other night it was gun practice, and then cutting up newspapers to make that frankly creepy murder collage on your bedroom wall.” He sets the steaming plate in front of you, along with a fork, a napkin and a bottle of water. You practically inhale it all, suddenly realizing how hungry you were. “That’s for a case and you know it! I’m investigating!” you complain, through a mouth full of toast. He stares at you, a mix of disgust and concern in his features. You know exactly what he’s thinking, because he always looks at you like this. How have you managed to stay alive all these years, you idiot? “It’s weird and pointless and you know it.” He takes a seat beside you. “You haven’t had a proper lead in months. The other day you taped an ad for a birthday clown on it.” “Because he could be disguising as a clown!” “To kill a high ranking CIA agent? In Berlin?” You stare at your empty plate. Well, when he puts it like that… “I think I need to sleep”, you relent. He smiles, smug. “Shut up.” He puts away the dirty dishes and walks you to your room, a steady hand on your lower back. When you get there, you change into your pajamas while he clears your bed of papers, notebooks and pens you have scattered around and sets them on your even messier desk. He lets out a sigh. “Hey, now. Don’t judge. This is how my brain processes things”, you say, coming out of the bathroom. “I don’t say anything when you fold your socks.” “What’s wrong with folding socks?” he exclaims, offended, hands in the air. “It’s weird. Not to mention unnecessary. Who’s gonna notice if you have wrinkles in your socks? Socks don’t work like that”, you argue, getting under the covers as he turns off the lights. “It’s not about the wrinkles, it’s so I don’t lose the pairs.” You can see his scowl even in the darkness, or at least imagine it to perfection. “Then just put them together, like in a ball.” “That ruins the elastic.” You roll your eyes. “That ruins the elastic”, you repeat mockingly in a silly voice. “You’re annoying. Go to sleep.” He kisses your forehead and heads for the door. You call out to him before he can go, “Hey, Loki? Thanks. For taking care of me.” “Of course, kitten. There’s nothing I would rather do”, he replies softly, and closes the door behind him. Loki stands in the hallway for a moment, resting his forehead on your door and mentally cursing himself. There’s nothing I would rather do? What the hell was that? Normally he couldn’t care less about the life of the mortals his brother calls friends. But when it comes to you he’s like a lovesick puppy, and as much as he tries he can’t hide it. Not to mention you don’t make it any easier by not taking proper care of yourself and working yourself to the point of exhaustion. He hears a small chuckle coming from behind, and he turns around to see his brother standing on his own doorframe, amusement in his eyes. Of course, his room is right in front of yours. He forgot. He stands frozen for a moment before composing himself and just like that, he returns to his cold posture. “What are you doing there? It’s the middle of the night”, he snaps. Thor just laughs. “I could ask you the same thing, brother. What brings you to Y/N’s door?” Then he justs stares at him, waiting for an answer. “That’s none of your business, you big oaf.” “I never took you for a caring one, Loki. Are you finally taking a liking to Midgard? Or maybe to one specific Midgardian? ” He crosses his arms and lifts his eyebrows. “I don’t know what you´re talking about”, Loki replies, mirroring his stance. “If I didn’t know you any better, I would think you’re in love, brother”, teases Thor, with a smirk. “Me? In love? With a Midgardian? That’s foolish. You’re…you’re a fool. Nothing but a simple, daft fool.” Loki rolls his eyes and scoffs. Not his best work, but he’s nervous. “You might be the God of Lies, Loki, but not even you can cover this up. I think it’s a good thing. Y/N is already a good influence on you.” “Yeah, well. You’re wrong. And a fool.” “You’ve already said that.” “I was just making myself clear, so your underdeveloped brain could understand me.” “Yeah, sure. I’m going back to bed. Good luck with huh, not being in love, Loki.” “Shut up.” He sighs, exasperated, resting his back on your door. With his head on his hands, he lets out a frustrated sound. One door closes and another one opens, right? That’s exactly what happens, because as soon as Thor goes back into his room, you open your door, sending Loki directly to the floor. “Are you in love with me?” You ask, matter-of-factly, staring at him from above. He panics. “I… huh. No. Well. Kind of. Not really. Why?” he then closes his eyes, defeated. “Yeah,” he whispers, “yeah. You heard that?” “Yup. Listen, I’m in love with you too and all that, but I’m also really tired and I think the fact that I haven’t slept is really starting to hit me because I’m having a hard time just standing here. So, huh. Just come to bed and we can discuss this in the morning, you doofus.” And just like that you go back to sleep, leaving him on the ground with his heart pounding on his chest, unsure of what exactly happened. He hears a loud laugh coming from Thor’s room and that sends him back to his senses. “Shut up!”

#loki x reader #avengers x reader #loki oneshot #loki fluff #loki x you #oneshot #marvel x reader #marvel one shot #loki fanfic #marvel #loki #avengers

202 notes · View notes

cosmiceverafter · 4 years ago

Text

Game, Set & Match

Chapter 4 of the Legend series.

Read on AO3

Summary: The group hangs out together at the Wild Pony.

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated! I returned to work, and life has been crazy. But I'm excited to continue the Belmanes' story, as well as have background Malex flirting. Because why not?

Enjoy!

Isobel hadn't felt this excited for a Saturday night, in what felt like years.

A few of them were going to have a casual night at the Wild Pony, and to her utmost delight, Gregory agreed to join in.

She couldn't figure out what to wear, which wasn't the norm for her. Isobel had already gone through several outfits. The evidence was the volcanic pile on her bedroom floor.

Was she going for a chic widow? Or a sultry alien?

Isobel shook her head as she stared at her disheveled reflection in the mirror, "You need to get a grip here."

Truthfully, she was nervous—it had been a long time since she had been around someone she had liked. And the last time didn't go so well. She had to keep reminding herself that Gregory was nothing like Noah.

Finally, she just decided to keep it casual with a dark blue v-neck shirt and her jeans with the knee holes. They made her ass look good. Her hair was down in loose curls, with light makeup.

The final touch was her brown boots.

That'll have to do, she thought, as she put on her nude lipstick.

When she felt confident enough, she was on her way.

As she entered the Wild Pony, her body was tingling with a thrill of anticipation.

Isobel needed to tell herself it was just a guy, an old "friend," but her heart knew better.

Her boots stuck to the floor as she stepped foot into the dive bar. Yet, instead of disgusting her, it grounded her. She desperately needed it as she saw the boys standing up against the bar with their drinks.

Including Gregory.

Her heart began pounding, and she took a deep breath.

She could hear Michael narrating a story, and Alex and Gregory joined in with laughter. Isobel couldn't spot Forrest anywhere. She couldn't help but wonder if there was trouble in paradise.

"Hi, boys," she called out.

They all turned to look at her, and Gregory's face broke out into a slow grin. It was breathtaking.

Michael and Alex said hi, Alex even greeted her with a hug, which she loved.

Gregory hung back slightly. Was there a chance he was as nervous as she was? "Hey there, Evans."

"Well, hello to you, too." Their eyes lingered on each other, and the background noise began to fade away. She shook her head and asked them, "So what are we all drinking?"

They held their drinks up, and Michael went on another tangent she wasn't tracking. Something about the service being slow and that he could do a better job...yada, yada, yada. She was too busy staring at how damn good Gregory looked tonight.

He had a black shirt on with a jean jacket and dark, tight jeans. Gregory also wore a long silver necklace with a turquoise pendant that she assumed he got from the reservation. She wanted to grab it to pull him towards her, just to make sure he smelled as good as he looked. His hair was messy, and Isobel couldn't help her mind from wandering at the thought of her fingers running through it. Tugging. Pulling.

The man was gorgeous. The Manes family had issues, but their style wasn't one of them.

Alex was wearing his black leather jacket and a white tee, and she couldn't help but smirk at the way Michael's eyes kept lingering on his former love.

Some things never change.

The sexual tension surrounding the air of the bar was thick enough to slice a knife through.

Isobel moved in closer to Gregory, and he momentarily looked startled as he bit his lip, which caused her to forget how to breathe.

What was air anyway? She felt like she was in high school again.

"So," Gregory cleared his throat with an alluring yet soft smile. "I owe you that drink. What'll it be?"

"Hm...How about we all take a shot?"

Alex laughed, looking at Gregory, "Only one, though, my brother here would be under a table if he has more than that."

"He's not kidding," Gregory agreed, looking slightly embarrassed. "But, I think I can handle one."

"Good to know, then we won't have to carry you out of here," she said with a wink.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind that, Iz," Michael replied, wiggling his eyebrows and giving her a soft nudge.

Gregory flushed, and Isobel glared at Michael. Of course, he would do that. That was usually her role. Usually, she wouldn't mind the exposure, but being around Gregory was so different.

Before things got too awkward, she saw Max walk in. She had convinced her brother to come out for one drink. The poor alien had been down-and-out since Liz had skipped town. She knew they were having a hard time, and there were problems to be solved, but sometimes you just needed to let loose and not worry so much about the future. And her brother was long overdue in that department.

Max walked up to them and waved.

"Surprised you showed up," Michael smirked.

"Be nice," Alex muttered as he pushed his shoulder into Michael's. Michael froze and stared at Alex's face. The two of them and their feelings were so apparent that Isobel wanted to tell them to just go in the back room already.

Isobel hugged her brother, "Shot?"

"Yea, what the hell. Why not?" Max said solemnly. He looked over at Gregory, "Hey man, how are you?"

Gregory was polite as ever as they exchanged pleasantries, and Isobel felt happiness spread throughout her body. Gregory fitted right in with the group.

As the bartender poured their tequila, Isobel turned to Alex, "So where's Forrest tonight?"

Michael stiffened and faced the bar. Alex's eyes glanced over Michael's back, "He is out of town for business."

Max looked at Michael, failing at not being overly obvious. She had a thing or two to teach her brother about being discrete.

She nodded and played it cool, "Nice, well, we're glad you could join us!"

Alex smiled, "Of course. Wouldn't miss it. You're my crew."

Isobel took note of Michael's lips, which were now forming into a small smile, and she felt suddenly felt at ease. She liked Forrest, she did. He was a superb guy, a diamond in the rough desert even. But she wanted Michael and Alex to find their way back to each other. You could feel their love; it was palpable.

She truly believed they were meant to be together. Forrest would understand that. How could he not?

Besides, Alex didn't look too upset that his significant other wasn't there. Maybe there was hope for these two cosmic fools yet.

"That or the fact there's absolutely nothing else to do in this hellhole town," Michael retorted with a shake of his curls.

Count on her other brother to say the wrong thing at the perfect moment.

"Amen to that," Max murmured in agreement as he reached for the shot glass.

She moaned internally.

Was she the only alien with game?

Alex just shrugged, pulling his gaze away from Michael as he took a sip of his drink.

"He speaks the truth," Gregory replied as Michael turned to hit their glasses together. "This town is somethin' else."

"That it certainly is," Michael sneered, shaking his head. "Something vile and disturbed."

"Okay, okay, enough of that," Isobel exclaimed as she pointed towards the tequila. She was going to have to be the ringleader of what fun meant. "Let's move on to bigger and more delicious things."

As they held out their shot glasses together, Alex suggested, "What do we cheers to?"

"How about new chapters?" Isobel responded as her eyes flickered to Gregory, who was already staring at her.

That sentiment would apply to all of them. "To new chapters!" they collectively said.

Isobel was eager to see what that meant for them all.

***

As the night went on, Gregory felt himself relax more. He had been so damn uptight when he had first arrived at the Wild Pony. It hadn't helped when Isobel had walked in looking the way she had.

The girl was breathtakingly beautiful, and he had to remind himself to stop staring. He didn't want to be creepy, but damn, it was hard to look away.

They were all having so much fun, even Isobel's brother Max. Something was going on with the guy because he had looked miserable. Now he just looked drunk.

"I mean, we all make mistakes," Max said as he weaved slightly. "I mean, that's what it means to be human, right?"

"Absolutely," Gregory replied, "especially people like my father."

"Oh yea, that man was full of mistakes, wasn't he?" Max froze and grimaced, "Sorry...um, may he rest in peace."

Gregory laughed without humor, "No, you don't need to add on that tagline, Max. He doesn't deserve it."

"Okay, good," Max sighed as he patted Gregory's back, "Just an observation, but Jesse was an absolute dick."

Now Gregory laughed for real, "You'd be correct with that observation, my friend."

He couldn't help but only halfway listen to Max Evans. Gregory didn't want to talk about his father; he was much too busy watching Isobel leaning over the pool table.

The way her ass looked in those jeans of hers.

Damn...

She was a freaking goddess, and the alcohol was lowering his control. His innermost desires were rising to the surface.

Finally, Isobel made her way over, and he couldn't ignore how he felt at watching her hips sway in that way.

She leaned in closely, really close to the point they were touching. Her gaze was a look of pure lust, "You're up." Gregory couldn't help but take a glance down at his pants. When she giggled slightly, he was nonplussed as he breathed in the smell of her. Gregory knew it was weird to think, but she smelled like fresh rain and lavender.

Billiards. She meant the game.

He had to get a handle on himself before he did something foolish, like kiss her in front of everyone on top off the pool table—something he desperately wanted to do. All night it had been on his mind...her soft lips upon his.

Gregory's mind started spinning, and it wasn't because of the tequila. "I'll be back. It's my turn," he told Max, who was now drinking the water that Isobel handed him.

Michael laughed, "What a lightweight."

"I think I'm about there as well," Alex replied as he sat in the tall chair, his cue stick falling into him.

"I'm disappointed, Manes. We have a game to win!" Michael teased as he watched Alex. "And besides, I thought it was your brother who couldn't handle the alcohol, not you."

"Well, I can handle a few shots, but I definitely cannot keep up with you," Alex exclaimed as he took a large sip of his water.

Michael grinned slowly, his eyes slowly moving up and down Alex's body, "We both know that's not true."

Gregory's eyebrows shot up in surprise even though he knew he shouldn't be. Of course, Michael would flirt with his little brother. After all, this was Michael Guerin, the man who was still madly in love with Alex.

Alex hesitated before returning the smile, "Okay, well, as far as liquor goes."

"Mmhmm. Okay, then," Michael responded as he licked his lips, humor slowly morphing into something else entirely. Gregory felt a bit embarrassed as if he were invading their private moment. Thank goodness for Isobel.

"Alright, alright, you two...we get it, now Greg, let's win this game so Michael can finally get off of that high horse of his." He nodded and tried to focus on the game. But that focus evaporated as soon as Isobel walked around the table. She leaned down to whisper in his ear, "If you win this for us, I'll cook you dinner."

Oh my—she was flirting with him. Isobel wanted a real date with him, and God, did he want one with her.

No pressure.

Now it was his turn to attempt flirting, "Oh really? Is that so?"

Isobel nodded and gazed into his eyes. She licked her full lips, and Gregory couldn't help but weave into the table like a spellbound idiot. "And I'll have you know that I don't cook for just anybody either."

Shakily, he breathed out as he moved closer, "Message received, Evans." And since he was probably making a fool of himself already, he decided to add, "This won't be the same kind of date that was promised to Jake Mulligan though, right?"

Now it was Isobel's turn to be affected; her hand went onto the table to steady herself. But then she regained her perfect composure, "Greg, this will be nothing like that. I can promise you that."

Score.

"Thank you, Evans. That's the confirmation I needed to hear." Gregory turned to take the shot with confidence, sinking the ball instantly into the pocket.

Game, set, and match.

#belmanes #malex #my fic

32 notes · View notes

the-shrinkingviolet · 4 years ago

Text

Demisexuality

So yesterday was National Coming Out Day. While this isn’t about me coming out, per se, as I am a hetero female, it did get me thinking further about the... accessory (I don’t know if this is even the right term to use? I’m still learning) to my main sexuality.

I didn’t feel the urge to broadcast this to family or anything, as I know it would bring up more questions and I didn’t want to bother having to explain myself. Not to mention this is purely me, not totally a big deal, and I feel it’s not my family’s business to know anything else. I wasn’t sure where else to put these thoughts other than coming back to Tumblr since it seemed fitting, and my page is fairly private.

So a few months ago over the summer I came across the term demisexual from an old friend’s FB post -- basically her stating that she was demi. Admittedly, while I am a huge supporter of LGBTQ+ and everywhere in between (you do you boo), I am unfortunately not very good at keeping up with terms and identities. That being said, demisexual was one I was not familiar with.

I brushed it off for a while to look it up. I don’t know why I decided recently to look back into it. My gut was telling me something, and I had to listen.

You know that feeling you get when you read about something you haven’t heard of before and you realize it identifies with you to the core of your soul? So heavy it’s like getting hit by a bus? Yes? No? Well, that’s what it feels like to me. I felt the same thing when stumbled across terminology for social anxiety and social phobia when I was a teen (officially diagnosed in early 20s), and I felt the same reading about demisexuality.

I know I’ve always been a bit... naive when it comes to romance and relationships and whatnot. However, I honestly never knew that being attracted aesthetically to someone’s physical appearance was not the same thing as being sexually attracted to them. Yep. Almost 30 years old and didn’t know that. I feel pretty foolish about it, but hey. I didn’t know, and apparently demisexuality is a very subtle thing, so it does make sense in a way why I wouldn’t know.

Growing up, it was weird being around other girls in school as they talked about what guys were hot, which celebs in which movies were good looking, what they would love to do to them, etc. I felt like an alien pretty much 100% of the time. There wasn’t a single celebrity I found attractive until I was about 16 or so, even then I never thought about having sex with any of them. I just imagined what it would be like to get kissed and have conversations with someone that romantically liked me. That’s it.

As for sex, I was pretty repulsed by it most of my teens honestly. I never watched porn, still never have to this day as I find it disgusting. Sex scenes in movies also often grosses me out. And yes, I was always called a prude for this. I never felt the urge to masturbate or anything. Sex wasn’t a main priority so why everyone else made it as such was just odd to me. What was even weirder was the fact that people literally just hooked up for one night. Why? I still don’t understand this to this day and could never picture myself doing it, ever. (Especially now since I’m married)

When I did develop real life crushes on guys I knew -- which I can only count on one hand how many crushes I have had in my life, my first one being at 13 -- if I didn’t know them personally, I just thought about how nice it would be for them to notice me and talk, kiss me once and that’s about it. I never imagined making out with anyone.

Most of my crushes that I did have were of guys I knew and were either friends with or were once friends with. I never realized that was different from everyone else. That girls often dated guys who they weren’t friends with first. For a long time I literally didn’t know this was a thing. I always assumed relationships were always like really good friends first because that’s how I always imagined them to be. Being the lovely socially awkward teen that I was, I didn’t bother dating anyone all of my teen years. I was scared and timid mainly. Scared of rejection, no confidence in myself, and overall afraid to show what little experience I had and not wanting to have sex with anyone.

Which brings me to my very first relationship which led to marriage. It makes even more sense now why I chose to be with the person I’m with now, and not having any other relationships prior to this. (Yes I’m lucky, and I am also very fucking happy I did not have to navigate the sea of dating.) My now husband and I have known each other for over 10 years. (Holy shit I feel so old typing that.) I’ll save the long story, but I always said I never felt the same feelings with other guys as I did with him. I couldn’t explain it. Partly that feeling was the fact that he was my soulmate, but also because I had a connection. It wasn’t his looks that I was attracted to, although I do love his beard, dark hair, and blue eyes because that is what is aesthetically pleasing to me with men (you could call it a type I guess? Although I don’t find myself swooning with many guys that have these features). But what makes me sexually attracted to him the most is our history and emotional bond.

***TMI Alert***

As for sex, I now understand how I’m not so sexually charged. There are many days where I’m not in the mood at all. Like flat out, “No thank you. There is nothing you can do that will get me aroused, please leave me alone and don’t touch me.” I am also specific which... um... positions I prefer as well. Most positions repulse me and I don’t know why. They just do and I can’t explain it. There are also positions I very much enjoy and I stay aroused with them. I always thought I was broken with all of this, but really it’s just me. (Side note: My pelvic floor kind of is as I also have vaginismus and it makes things difficult, I was working with PT on this recently, but new job has put it on hold.) I mean, I’m not broken, but I prefer not having sex most of the time. Probably more often than most people. I’m not asexual, because I DO feel arousal and will pursue when I want to, but it’s rare. Now I’m understanding from this and from what I’ve been reading how demisexuality does fit under the umbrella of asexuality, even though it is somewhat different.

I’m still reading more about this, but I wanted to type this up to get my thoughts out of my head. I feel like this little weight I didn’t know was there has been lifted and it feels good to know that other people are this way too and it’s not just me and my weird self. It used to stress me out a lot not being aroused or not liking being touched when I feel like I’m supposed to be. I mean, I still get stressed about it, but now knowing I’m demisexual, it’ll help a lot to work on accepting myself and my body more.

#demisexual #life #tmi

37 notes · View notes

fae-fucker · 4 years ago

Text

Zenith: Chapter 68-71

Chapter 68

Andi remembers how Kalee gave her a tour of her home and bragged about how she’d be ruling the place someday. Andi asks why her and not her brother.

Oh, Androma. Kalee had laughed then, tossing her head back in that glorious, carefree way that made everyone around her want to come closer. You and I both know that a woman can rule better than any man ever could. And I’ll look twice as good doing it, too.

Shinsay, voices muffled as their heads are stuck up each other’s asses: This is definitely, 100%, one whole, bona fide, authentic, organic, home-grown feminism that we just put in our book.

Also ... take a look at that weak-ass description that’s supposed to show us how good and cool Kalee is. When she laughs (in a way that tbh have you ever laughed? be real with me now), people want to ... come closer?

Wow! That’s like saying ... when I scratch my face, people want to call their mom. When I brush my hair, people may spontaneously feel the need to take a slightly deeper breath.

Talk about low standards. Hey fellas, you ever see someone laugh and just kinda sorta want to approach them but not really? Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Andi thinks about how Kalee would’ve been a better ruler than her dad, who doesn’t even bother coming down to meet his tortured son because that’s how incompetent and evil and heartless he is. I mean, Andi doesn’t know that Valen is the result of rape, but still. Idk if I’m on board with how the book demonizes the hell out of the General but tried to make whatsherface sympathetic. And by “I don’t know if I am” I mean “I’m definitely not what the fuck is wrong with these people.”

Dex tries to make some conversation and Andi says that nobody befriended Kalee, that only super duper special people were CHOSEN by her to become her friends.

I’m ... not sure how this is supposed to be better. In fact, I’d say it’s worse?

“Kalee chose the people she wished to let into her life. I was honored that she allowed me to be assigned to her.”

“Honored?” Dex asked, raising a bruised brow. “Or damned?”

“I’ll let you know after we talk to the general,” Andi said.

I’m gonna fiking piss. “I’ll tell you whether this important life event was honor or damnation, but like, later, after we have this appointment, ok?” Why is this so funny. Have I fully lost my marbles?

Andi foreshadows some escape tunnels that are hidden all around the estate so Dex has a logical way to save them at the end of the book. I’m sure there is a more elegant way of setting that up, but I can’t be bothered to find one, so let’s call it acceptable and move on.

They arrive at their destination and Andi notices that Alfie seems bummed out. She muses that he’s “capable of far more complex thinking than she’d originally guessed,” which, DOY, but ok, and then thinks about how he’s saved her crew and remembered Gilly’s Marketable Space Pet, which implies he has some “understanding of feelings and attachments.”

That hamster wheel do be spinnin’.

The “head Spectre” comes out to meet them and ...

It took everything in her to speak as the truth struck her.

“Dad?”

DUN DUN DUUUN, it’s Andi’s dad! Also, “the truth struck her?” What truth? That it’s your dad? Was that in doubt? Did you really need a moment to connect the dots, to realize this is your dad? Was there a moment where you saw this man, who is your dad, and thought that this wasn’t your dad, only for the truth to strike and OH SHIT THAT’S MY DAD!! WOW HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THAT THIS IS INDEED MY DAD.

Tbh if you strapped knives to a roomba it’d have more charisma and presence as the protagonist than Andi. And let’s be real, more intelligence.

Yet another chapter ends on a pointless cliffhanger only for the scene to continue exactly where it left off!

You’re just full of surprises, Shinsay.

Chapter 69 (nice)

Andi recaps everything that she’s gone through after the Kalee crash up to the fight with the big alien dude who got deus ex machina-d by Alfie and how she nearly kissed Dex, which gets written as extra special, just so she can make this point:

But this...her father, as General Cortas’s head Spectre?

This might actually kill her.

And aside from how generically melodramatic it is, I can’t help but recall this, from chapter 7:

The man in front of her was a victim of her foolishness. Beside her was the man who’d rejected her love.

The two of them, together? It was nearly enough to shatter Andi.

Andi has the same reaction as I do when in a room with multiple men. Except in her case I think it’s supposed to be deep and personal.

Anyway, self-plagiarism aside, Andi thinks about how her dad was always there for her but then one day wasn’t when he didn’t support her on her trial and how conflicted she feels about him, both wanting to demand justice but also wanting comfort. This is actually quite touching and feels very grounded and realistic.

General Cortas rubs it in that Andi’s dad, “Comander Racella”, has been very loyal and hardworking since he was promoted after Andi’s trial. Andi hopes that her father actually hates the general and was forced to work for him as some sort of punishment for what happened with their daughters.

The general says the situation on Adhira has been taken care of, and when Andi asks whether Xen Ptera attacked because of Valen and her crew’s presence on Adhira, the general says that’s classified. For reasons? Idk. Seems pretty obvious to me, or maybe he just doesn’t know?

Dex tries to yap but Cortas flexes his big dick and reminds Dex that he’s a Guardian now, and Dex is too much of a baby to risk his regained status so he shuts up. This is all spelled out for us by Andi’s inner monologue, because we’re idiots.

The general claims the Xen Pteran forces have been wiped out, saying how it’s probably all they had since there’s few able-bodied and willing people to recruit for war after their planet got fucked, and when Andi presses him for why the attack happened now and on Adhira, he says:

“War never really ends, Androma. The desire for revenge is often too strong to forget.”

“War never ends ... But me and my crew totes ended that war just now. They don’t have any more soldiers so this war is over.” Makes sense, sir.

Cortas says that queen Alara is safe and will be at the Peace Summit, which Andi immediately tells him to cancel because it would be the perfect opportunity for another attack. Cortas replies by saying that Arcardius is impenetrable and that the day the Olen System successfully invades will be the day “stars fall from the sky” which is a very poetic and not at all natural way to say something like this, so it’s there for ... idk dramatic irony? He also reminds her that the Summit is important because it celebrates the peace after the war and the unity between the systems and I’m here like ... for a guy who says war never ends, you sure seem happy to celebrate a war ending and don’t believe one is going on right now. But I guess these characters just exist to spout meaningless yet deep-sounding nonsense at each other.

Dex reminds the general that they’ve done their end of the deal, at which point the general conveniently decides to prolong it out of nowhere and essentially forces Andi and Dex to be Valen’s bodyguards at the Peace Summit by holding Andi’s crew and ship and Dex’s money and status hostage. Thanks for ensuring the main characters are there for the climax, sir! Appreciated!

Dex and Andi leave in a huff.

Chapter 70

We’re in Lira’s POV as she reminisces about her childhood with Lon while he’s recovering from his near-death-experience.

So she sat by [Lon’s] side for endless hours, until the warm clutches of sleep stole her away.

She dreams about flying on an “Adhiran darowak” but then DUN DUN DUUUN Adhira below turns into Xen Ptera and it’s horrible!

“No,” Lira gasped. Her heart began to crack. Fissures spread through it, reaching cold fingers through every valve until Lira felt darkness stealing her away.

So the editor just left that in, huh? Just let Shinsay use the exact same wording in less than 200 words? Must’ve been stolen away by the editing fairy for editing crimes while reading this.

Lira is woken up by Alara, who got here so fucking fast she must be part-Sonic on her father’s side. You’d think a planetary leader would have more to do after a sudden and deadly attack on her home planet, but I guess Adhirans are so chill they’ll just let their leader fuck off to take care of her angsty teenage niece instead.

Lira says that she’ll do anything to make up for bringing Valen to Adhira, to which Alara says that the only thing Lira will do is “follow her heart,” which is sweet of her to say but also really convenient and makes this whole decision easier for her.

I mean, it’s nice that Alara is so supportive, but 1) narratively, it removes the conflict that was introduced only a few chapters ago 2) it makes Alara seem like she’s only there to be the supportive cool aunt and the Good Queen, without any expectations or wants of her own. Like, wasn’t the pressure from Alara something that gave Lira actual conflict? Idk. Seems too easy, is what I’m saying.

Lira didn’t let go of her aunt until the tears dried up. Until they sat down on either side of Lon’s bedside, held his hands and spoke of happier times. The beauty of a family that could come together, broken, and still find a way to become something whole.

You’re one step away from “Ohana means family” over here, Shinsay. Stop spelling shit out. WE. GET. IT. Also, whose narration is this? We’ve mostly stuck to third person limited, so ... is Lira thinking this? Is she thinking this shit while it’s happening? About her own family and situation? What the fuck?

Shinsay couldn’t keep their suspiciously sticky fingers out of their own writing and let it breathe so it comes out looking like God’s mistake.

Anyway, Lon wakes up and Alara tells him what went down on Adhira.

Chapter 71

We’re back with Andi, who just got out of a bath and is bitterly admiring her “private quarters” when she’s interrupted by DUN DUN her dad! He’s been waiting for her!

It’s all very tense. Before they can really start talking, though, we get a flashback. No, really. This whole tense reunion between father and daughter is interrupted by a lengthy flashback brought on by Andi watching her dad and Remembering.

Because Shinsay.

It’s a flashback to Andi in a cell, the day before she was supposed to be executed. Her dad tells her that her mother is "not well” and we find out his name is Oren. As they’re saying their tearful goodbyes, Oren slips Andi a key and tells her “Bay Seven. Tomorrow at dawn.”

The flashback ends with Andi’s cell standing empty the next morning.

Very cool and all that.

Back in the now, Andi rightfully chews her dad out for being a cowardly little bitch and throwing his teenage daughter under the bus for the sake of status. Something he freely admits to doing. He says he and her mother had to struggle to rebuild their reputation after she ruined it, and that he believes his daughter died with Kalee and that whoever he saved in the cell was already the Bloody Baroness even if she didn’t know it yet. Then he fucks off.

It’s all extremely silly. It would’ve been heartbreaking in any better book, but instead, it just feels like it’s tacked on for the sake of adding even more angst to Androma’s character. In fact, she’s not even upset at this. Instead she just carves some more tallies into her swords, dances some more with the dead, and then sneaks out.

No really, it’s written like a list.

She waited for the tears to come. But they never did.

Instead she sat alone, adding more tallies to her swords. Dancing with the dead inside her head.

Why is this so funny! I think it’s because both the tally-carving and the ghost-dancing is supposed to be these deep and haunted things she does that’s given a fair amount of weight and focus, but then it’s just written out like this like it’s just some generic routine shit she does like brushing her teeth or wiping her ass.

Yup, there she goes, doing her generic angsty shit one after the other. Emotional whiplash glossed over for the sake of moving the plot along. She’s in such a bad mental state that we simply MUST ignore it and move on.

Also, I want to highlight how convenient it is for Shinsay to already have Andi suspect and previously coming to terms with how her parents don’t love her before this confrontation. Like, we see her father save her tearfully, yet Andi has almost no hope that he still loves her. Or, she does, but when it’s squashed, she just ... accepts it? Because hey, she already processed that trauma years before! Makes it easy!

Wouldn’t it make it more impactful if all these years, she’s hoped that she has a home to come back to? That her father’s final act of saving her meant they love her still and want her to come back? And now she finds out that they never even mourned her loss? Wouldn’t that be heart-wrenching? And also add to the idea that Andi wants to return to Arcardia, both because it’s her home planet but also because that’s where her parents are? Instead we’re led to believe Andi wants to return, but when she does, she hates it here, she knows nobody wants her here, and she wants to leave immediately.

I seriously question the inclusion of this subplot and these characters. It adds nothing, changes nothing, and is just there to make Andi more angsty, which she already is, so ... why is this here lmao?

Shinsay really went “let’s squander all our potentially interesting ideas and concepts for the sake of more cheap angst and making our protag a cool emotionless badass who don’t care for no thing.”

#eff reads: zenith

7 notes · View notes

melancholydreadfuldream · 5 years ago

Text

Cosmic Love Nightmare

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Whittaker!Master x Reader, 13th Doctor x Reader

Summary: DW AU. You and the Master are definition of bad romance. The Doctor is determined to separate the two of you.

Warning: ooc, use of violence, mention of rape, murder, bad moral, depression, dark!reader, etc

A/N: So, lately, I have been reading plenty fan fiction about Whittaker!Master and Dhawan!Doctor and I love each one of them. I got inspired to write one too.

I’m sorry for the quality of the language as English is not my first language so you will probably get a bit or a lot of headache. So, I’m not sure about this fic, I hope you all enjoy reading it? And if you do like it, please like/comment.

The Hybrid.

A Galiifreyan prophecy that predicted that a hybrid creature of a crossbred from two warrior races would stand over the ruins of Gallifrey and unravel web of time, breaking a billion billion hearts to heal its own.

“Hybrid bla bla bla...” The Master said with a mocking tone as she rolled her eyes.

I frowned. “And...what? The other Time Lords think that hybrid thing is us?”

The Master shrugged her shoulder. “Look around.” She said. “Here we are standing in a ruin of a planet.”

We stood on top of a cliff with the best view of the ruination.

“Not Gallifrey though.” I said with a shrug. “This is just a general chaos.”

She smiled as she come closer to me and whispered, “Only you would call the ruin of planet a general chaos.”

I shrugged. “If we didn’t do it, someone else would.” I said with a careless tone. “I’m not the only one who called it general chaos. You did it too.”

The Master grinned and did a dramatic twirling. “I know. Let’s call ourselves team Hybrid from now on.” She said.

As if on cue, they could hear a distant echo of groaning Tardis of the Doctor.

I sighed. “And here come team Tardis.”

The Master sighed dramatically just as a man walked toward us followed by his three companions. “Oh, Doctor, have you come to join the party?”

“Stop it. Both of you, stop this nonsense right now!” The Doctor yelled in fury.

“But where is the fun in that?” The Master said with adorable pout.

I watched the interaction between those two. Apparently, they have been dancing around like this since forever with the everlasting theme of savior-villain. I let them have their moment and then turned away to watch with fascination the fiery ruin before me.

“How could you stand with her, (name)?” Yaz suddenly called out to me.

I rolled my eyes. I have no interest in defending myself to a bunch of goodie-good. I shushed her much to her dismay. But she didn’t get the hint and stepped forward toward me, demanding my attention. What a foolish bitch. The only reason she still standing is because I’m currently in a good mood and also the Master told me not to harm the Doctor’s companion directly. She warned me that the Doctor is a goodie-good but he is also dangerous when it come to the protection of his companion.

“Don’t come any closer. I won’t be held responsible for hurting you if you are within distance for me to break your...” I looked her up and down with disdain. “...well, everything...” I said with a fake sweet smile.

Yaz still opened her mouth to blabber but thankfully, Ryan and Graham pulled her away from me immediately. They knew I am a mutant, that I am very strong, I could break their bones without breaking a sweat. They also knew that I am a killer and a monster. Who else would join the Master in her quest for chaos?

I sighed. I got bored already. “Master, can we just go? This is getting boring...”

The Master and the Doctor stopped their banter and glanced at me.

The Master gave me a fond smile before stepped forward toward me but was stopped when the Doctor gripped her wrist.

“Master, please...” The Doctor begged. “The way you are going right now...Gallifrey will come for you and her...”

“Doctor, are you worried for us or are you worried me and (name) will destroy your precious Gallifrey, Mr President, dear?” The Master pulled her wrist out of his hold and mockingly took a bow at him.

The Doctor groaned in frustration.

The Master grinned mischievously as she walked backward and then turned around to face me. She pulled me to her and kissed me hard.

I smiled into the kiss. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the companion of the Doctor making a disgusted face at the sight of us kissing.

“Come on then, my dear, our work here is done.” She said.

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor suddenly said.

We ignored him as we walked away from them. I was about to put on coordinates on my vortex manipulator that would get us back to the Master’s Tardis but stopped when the next thing he said gave me chill.

“But I can’t let you two be together any longer.” The Doctor said.

I turned around and growled at him for the threat on us.

The Master stopped me and turned to glare at the Doctor. “And how are you going to stop us?”

Yaz suddenly grabbed me and put some bracelet on my wrist. I didn’t expect that so I have no way to stop it. She is quick to release me and took a few steps away from me before I could attack her.

“Master!” I yelled when I realized I couldn’t get the bracelet off me.

The Master turned to look at me and at the bracelet just as the Doctor raised his sonic screwdriver toward me, activating the bracelet. Her eyes widened as she realized something. “Nooo!” she yelled as she tried to reach me but before she could, I vanished in a blip.

The Master fell into the ground in shock then she turned to look at the Doctor. “What have you done, Doctor? Where did you send her?”

The Doctor actually looked almost sorry but he was calm. “(name) is safe. I just send her faraway from here, to a place not of this universe, where you can never reach out...”

The Master stood as she glared at him. “Oh, you just watch me, Doctor.” Her eyes blazed in fury.

7777

I fell into the ground and immediately puke. Cold sweat covered my face. I blinked my eyes and tried to focus on the surrounding.

I was in a park on Earth...I think? But something is wrong. The sky...the color is a bit off and the oxygen here just not the same as I used to. The Master once told me in passing about alternate universes where some things were different and others remained the same. I dreaded the thought that damn Doctor actually would go this far in order to separate me from the Master.

The Master. My heart felt like it was about to shatter. I was hoping to hear her voice right about now. But I realized I was alone. I glanced at the cursed bracelet on my wrist. To my surprise, the bracelet fell off my wrist easily this time as if it knew it already finished its purpose. I growled angrily. I begrudgingly picked up the offending item, hoping to figure out a way back using it. But I am not a genius like the Time Lords, hell, not even a human genius. I am just me, a mutant, and a result of human experimentation gone wrong.

I fingered the vortex manipulator on my other wrist and to my great frustration, it was broken. Not that the vortex manipulator would be much use, it can’t be used to travel to another alternate universe.

I prayed I was wrong, that I wasn’t in some alternate universe. My hope got smashed when I confirmed my worst fear as I pick up the newspaper from the nearby seller.

I made a vow though that I would do everything in my power to return my beloved, the Master. I have to find some calibre genius to use to figure out this dilemma. I wonder if I should track down the version of the Master in this world but decided against it until further investigation.

“Just you wait, Master, nothing can separate us...” I whispered.

Six months later...

Six painful months later, I was still stuck in this alternate earth. I have to work to support myself. I worked in a diner somewhere in New York. I went my daily life with annoyance. It was a miracle I could restrain myself from killing half the idiot people here.

I lay on my dirty bed inside my small and dirty rent room. I raised the vortex manipulator, hoping it would stop being broken already and let me use it to travel off the earth. I growled as I shake the damn thing really hard. To my surprise, it started to make a bleeping sound.

I moved into a seating position and observed the vortex manipulator. “No way, it works!” I said with a disbelief laugh.

7777

Thank God, the vortex manipulator works otherwise I would have loss my sanity and started killing people just for breathing wrong near my vicinity.

So, what is the first thing I do? I track down a version of myself in this universe. Apparently, the thing that remained the same is the other me being caught and experimented on by the Division.

Division is an organization who worked outside the law and consists of both alien and human. Their main purpose is to monitor the happening within the universe and sell the information to those who is willing to pay a high price. They are not the good guys, obviously. Their purpose is to create a world that fit their agenda, so, depending on the current agenda; they might step in as the saviour of the people or become the instigator of chaos.

Their purpose at the time they caught me back in my universe is to create super soldier with the intention to sell them to the highest bidder.

I was an orphan after I lost my parents in accident. I was nobody, no family, so they thought even if I was missing, no one would truly care. I was taken to be used as an experiment. Luckily, if you can call it that; I was one of the successful experiments. I got super strength. I broke through the restrain in my fit of anger and attacked every last one of my tormentors with my bare hands.

I was covered in blood from head to toes after I finished with my slaughters. That’s when the Master came into view. She took me in after that, she took care of me and she helped me understand my power and to use it to do the most damage. I love every second of it.

Of course, at first, I didn’t trust the Master. I almost kill her that first time but something she said made me let her go and it helped that my rage already subsided by then, enough for me to see reason. I demanded to be left alone and she did for the most part. She gained my trust after she saved me when I was taken by surprise and ambushed by Division’s soldiers.

She saved me even though I almost strangle her to death the first time we met. She reasoned with me that she is on my side. She gave me my space albeit with a lot of mocking on her part. Once I let her in, she showed me everything, taught me everything I need to know to survive and to fight back. I knew she is not on a side of good, she told me so, but thanks to her, I craved for chaos as she did after she show me the joy of ruining lives. They have ruined mine so why shouldn’t I ruin others too?

The Doctor found me and wanted to take me in his care. The Master allowed him to take me just so we could play a nasty game with him and his companion. That’s how I knew the Doctor and his stupid fam. Apparently, I passed the test from the Master regarding whether I would be influenced by the goodness of the Doctor.

The Doctor warned me that the Master is only using me, that she didn't really care about me. But he didn't know us. I have enough confident after the time we spent together to believe that the Master did care for me. I didn't know if she loves me but I didn't mind it for now. I love how she kissed me hard and flirted with me. She made me happy and that's what matters.

Anyway, back at present time, the base where the other me is imprisoned, located in the same place as my past so, sneaking my way into the base is quite easy. I disguised myself and I located the other me, she was restrained and looked absolutely pathetic. Do I want to rescue her? But I would like to know if she is truly the same as me? Will she gain super strength too?

I thought about the Master and wonder what I should do. I think she would want me to mess the version of the Doctor here. So I made a plan to get the Doctor here and rescue the other me and the others. The Master taught me how to cheat with psychic paper. I was able to send SOS signal toward what I hopefully into the Doctor’s psychic paper. Now I only have to wait for the goodie-good team to arrive.

7777

I was floored when I saw the version of the Doctor here. I recognized her companion, the annoying fam I remembered back in my universe. But the Doctor...she has my beloved’s face, she has the Master’s face! How is that even possible? I confirmed her identity when I heard Yaz called her the Doctor. Ugh, I’m going to barf. And what kind of clothes she is wearing? Glad to know every version of the Doctor in universe apparently have bad taste in fashion. Seriously. My beloved Master dressed better than her!

Wait, if she is the Doctor, then the man who is called the Doctor back in my universe would be...the Master over here? Ugh, what kind of twisted world is this?!

As predicted, once team Tardis found out about the human experiment going on inside the base, they set their goodie-good shoes to set them free. The Doctor even gave whoever in charge of the base a firm oncoming storm talk.

I watched in secret as the Doctor interacts with the other me. The other me looked very grateful to be rescued. The Doctor took all patients to the best hospital in galaxy. They even stick around for a while to observe the damage on the patients.

That’s when I made my way to the room where the other me currently lying in bed peacefully. She woke up when she noticed someone in the room and her eyes widened in shock when she saw me.

I grinned viciously. “Hello, me.” I said as I pulled the machinery that monitor her heartbeat off. It wouldn’t do to alert the others that I was here.

“What?”

“Goodbye, me.” I said flatly as I grabbed a pillow and pushed it to cover her entire face rendering her unable to breathe. Easily, I removed her body and dumped it somewhere where no one would find for a long while. I took her place and get into the bed and put the machinery back on me.

Not long after, a nurse came in for my check-up and to draw some blood. The result of that blood test would surely get the Doctor to come and see me. The Doctor can’t resist mystery so she will definitely want to talk to me.

Mission to infiltrate the Doctor’s inner circle is now commencing.

7777

All I have to do next is put on doe eyes and pretend to be surprise to suddenly have super strength and faked a mini freak-out. I purposely broke everything in sight in my total panic and acted as if I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t hard to do. I smiled as I remembered my past. I once got amnesiac and forgot about my power and did exactly that, breaking stuff without meaning too. The Master told me I was very adorable and very damsel in distress-like. But she was glad when I finally got my memory back because she can't stand that version of me who was stupidly innocent.

So, now I just have to pretend I didn’t know my own strength. As predicted, the Doctor invited me to travel with her on board of the Tardis. She said she will help me understand my power and if there is a way to cure it off me in case I didn’t want the power. I got a bio damper on my person to hide the void stuff that the Master once told me someone who have crossed on alternate universe will have. I can't allow the Doctor to find out that I was not of this universe.

Yaz, Ryan and Graham are very welcoming and friendly. They kept sending me a look of pity every time I told them about the torture that the Division put me through. Since it really did happened to me, I didn't have to fake the emotion regarding it.

The Doctor, though, seemed very upset. I could see the dark look passed her expression for a few seconds and on that few seconds; I almost thought she is my beloved. The Master once told me about the Doctor's dark side and should he ever give in, he will be the cruelest villain in the whole universe. I must admit I'm curious about the Doctor's dark side but on this version of the Doctor, the one who has my beloved's face.

The Master, I wonder how she is doing back in our universe. Did she still trying to get me back? She has to, right? She has yet to grow bored of me. I'm the best companion she could ever have. My heart aches for her. Seeing this version of the Doctor certainly didn't help.

Sometimes I want to kiss the Doctor whenever she is being adorable, then next thing I know, I just want to punch her and claw her stupid face whenever she is being too sunshiny for me. Why did she has to have the Master's face?

She made my life difficult because sometimes I could have believe she is a better version of the Master, one that might be capable to love me properly. But I know better. I am a monster and the only one who could ever love someone like me would only be someone who is as mess up in the head as me, like the Master, one could hope. Even then, I still don't know what exactly I am to her. We were not exactly traditional couple. The circumstance of our meeting is shaky at best.

I clawed at my arms till I drew blood at the thought I almost got swayed by the goodness that is the Doctor. If the Master knew, she would be disgusted with me.

7777

We went to a random planet on the Doctor's whim. Next thing I knew, the fam and me were taken hostage by the royal family in order to ensure the Doctor's cooperation. I was ecstatic to see the oncoming storm in action. I was planning to let thing unfold to see what is going to happen.

And then this royal bastard has to go be an ass-hat. He went after Yaz for being mouthy. Stupid bitch. He tried to rape her. And he was going to do it in front of us too. I snapped, enough said. I must have black out for a bit because I woke up drenched in blood in a corridor littered with mangled corpses. And the companions were understandably decided to keep their distance from me. They were afraid of me.

Well, this is suck. I hated it when my fit of rage turned me into a basic hulk. I have no control. It was a miracle that the Doctor's companions survive unharmed during my raging period. This kind of ruined my plan to stay the innocent companion for a while. Will the Doctor kick me out of the Tardis now that I did this? Surely, she would want to keep her companion safe from me. But I have to stay with the Doctor until I could figure out to use her to get back to the Master. What do I do now?

I must still in haze from the blood lust that I didn't realize the Doctor has bent her knees in front of me, uncaring that her clothes will be littered in blood. She was fussing over me. She pulled her sonic screwdriver to scan me. She look relieved upon realizing I was unharmed and that relief immediately turned to horror when she realized what exactly I have done. The companion steered clear of me. They cautioned the Doctor to do the same. But the Doctor ignored them and gently shaking me out of my stupor.

She thought I was in shock and I played along. I was mostly pissed at my out of control rage. And then, I remembered when I have that royal ass-hat's neck gripped tight within my hand, I saw the Master, or at least, a hallucination of sort.

"I love it when you are feeling murderous, dear." She said with a wink. "Go ahead, you know you want to. Make it bloody. Make him suffer. I knew you always had a weakness for these types of bad guys..."

She was right. I would kill indiscriminately if I have to and if she asked me to. But rapists and torturers pissed me off greatly, the Master said I suffered traumatic experience with that sort of thing, which make me lose my shit whenever I come across those types. I honestly didn't quite remember the trauma though. I took very great pleasure in torturing and killing them. The man was begging me to release him but I ignored him. I would rather listen to my beloved.

"Though, I'm kind of worry that you are beginning to be a softie, dear. Staying with the Doctor would do that to you. Are you now good, my dear?"

I growled at that.

"Was it because she has my face? Did she make you want to be a good girl?" She asked teasingly.

I tightened my grip on the man's neck.

"Prove it then. Kill him. Kill his royal family and his soldiers. Make it bloody rain, dear." The Master grinned as she urged me to surrender to my blood lust. "Show me a bad girl."

I could distinctly hear the companion saying something to me but I ignored them. I lost my shit afterward.

7777

The Doctor covered up my crime. I would have thought the goodie-good would surrender me to authority. She said she forgives me. She knew I didn't mean to do it. Yaz did say I did it to save her from being raped...somewhat. Even though she can't explain why I lost my shit and gone on a killing spree.

I faked a panic attack and asked to be left alone after I cleaned myself off all the blood. I even cried telling them that I was a monster and I deserved to die and sobbing stuff like that. As predicted, the Doctor and companion tried to calm me down and reassured me that I am a good person at heart. I almost snorted at that. Almost. I purposely being dramatic and said I have to leave the Tardis now. The Doctor won't let me go though. I think she wanted to keep an eye on me. Ugh, now I have to be extra careful around her. I hope I could get back to my universe soon. This universe is suck and I miss the Master so much.

In the end, all ended well, I remained on board of the Tardis. Though, the dynamic is changed now that they were wary of me. It was like they were waiting for me to lose my sanity again and go on a random killing spree. But I remained angelic for display. I acted with hesitation and wary of leaving the safety of the Tardis. The Doctor promised me she would keep an eye on me and made sure I will be okay for the duration of our next adventure.

7777

I purposely put myself in danger in order to rescue the Doctor during one of our routine adventure. I did it to establish reputation within the Doctor's circle that I could be redeemed or whatever. At least, that is what I said to convince myself. It was her face, my beloved’s face that made me want to save her. For a second, I forgot that she was not the Master and I didn't want her to get hurt so, I jumped into a line of fire to save her. That is what happened. No more.

The Doctor kept giving me a look I can't decipher, once I was on board of the Tardis, resting in the med-bay, after she treated my injuries. She was upset that I risk my life for her; that I could tell. Well, that won't happen again, pal, don't worry!!

7777

Oh, this is bullshit. Of all the thing that could happen to me, I had to get ambushed by the Division. They somehow heard that the experiment on 'me' was successful and now they wanted to capture me for their own gain. But they were prepared. They slapped a cuff that somehow damper my ability. I was helpless and under their mercy much to my annoyance.

And then I saw her. Sonya. I knew her back in my universe. During captivity, we became friend. But, she was one of the failure subjects and she got disposed as a result. But, this Sonya...she has power. She can control mind and bitch is trying to control my mind. Well, shit! Apparently, the Division has got to her earlier in this universe and she has become their lap dog. I saw the collar she wears though. I recognized the collar back in my universe. It has a calming effect and a bomb encased within to ensure the subjects' cooperation. They put one on me here too. Double shit!

The Doctor and companion have no idea who captured me but I have faith that the Doctor will figure it out. She is smart, isn't she? She will know and hopefully come to my rescue soon before they turn me into mindless pet of the Division.

Back in my universe, the Master made it a point to invade my mind once I deemed her okay. She said she wanted to make sure I would be ready in case someone or heck, maybe even the Doctor, tried to get inside my mind to make me agreeable to whoever. She taught me to put a block on my mind. I was very grateful for her lessons now. Sonya is hilariously frustrated because she can't remove the block in my mind. But, I could tell she is very powerful. It would only be a matter of time before she breaks into my mind. I can't afford that. She could outed my true identity. If only I have my power, I would have snapped her neck in an instant.

It finally happened. She broke through the block. I immediately pushed my memory of being friend with the Sonya of my universe. Sonya look confused. I showed her my devastation when the Division took my Sonya away. I showed her the experiments on me and how I lost my control and killed most of Division's people on the base back then.

"You...are not (name)." She said. "What happened to the real (name)?"

I showed her my memory of killing the other me.

She stared at me as if I was crazy. "Why would you do that?"

I pictured the face of the Doctor and my intention with her. "I want to go home..." I finally whispered.

'You...are really not from this universe?' She asked telepathically.

I nodded and I said some stuff to her from within my mind so that no one can hear. 'But you can't tell anyone...' I begged. 'Please help me. Don't let Division control us.'

Sonya didn't reply for a few seconds.

'That collar contain bomb, you know, they lied to you. It does have calming effect but it was also a tracker and a bomb. They can't afford of losing their asset and if the assets become useless or a loose end, they will detonate the bomb.' I explained.

'Do you know how to get the collar off?'

'I know of a way, yeah, but we need a sonic screwdriver. You need to contact the Doctor and tell them where we are.'

'The Doctor?'

'She can help us. She will be able to receive your telepathic message too.' I said. 'Do it if you want your freedom, Sonya.'

Sonya left without a word. I hope what I said convinced her or I have no choice but to serve as the Division's pet. Ugh, I would rather die. I tried to carefully mask my thought of killing Sonya deep down. If she knew, she would not want to help me.

7777

Alarm within the base suddenly blared loudly. I sighed in relief. I hope that would be the Doctor coming for me. Shortly after, the Doctor came inside the room where I was restrained. She let me go and I expressed my most sincere gratitude.

"Thank you." I whispered weakly. "Thank you for coming back for me."

The Doctor gave me a sweet smile as she sonic the collar offs me. But I noticed she hesitated for a brief moment to sonic the damn cuff off me. Thank God, she did. "I got your message from Sonya. Nice girl."

"Where is she?"

"She is controlling the Division men to leave us alone." The Doctor said. "I really need to do something about this Division."

But, the Division is like that villain organization from those superheroes movies, hydra something, cut off one head and another grow, like worm or whatever? At least, back in my universe, when I hunted them, they just seemed to come back again one way of another. Even with the help of the Master, I still can't completely get rid of the Division. It would probably be the same over here.

"So, you already freed her from the collar? I'm glad I was right about you coming back to rescue us." I said with the most angelic look I can muster.

"Of course, I would. I would never abandon my companion." she said with cheerful tone.

"Is that what I am? Companion? Not a charity case?" I asked.

The Doctor glanced at me with an expression I can't comprehend. "I would like to think we are friend now, (name)."

Shit. That face... My heart just skipped a beat and I didn't like it one bit. I can't be catching feeling for her. I think I will barf.

7777

The Doctor took us to a carnival in some planet for holiday. I managed to purposely lose them. I pulled my vortex manipulator intending to take care of the loose end called Sonya.

But, she knew I was coming for her and she warned me not to cross her. What a bitch. She did promise to keep my secret. I warned her back that if she broke the promise, I would come for her and torture the hell out of her.

"You saw within my head. You know what I am capable of." I said.

Sonya nodded. "And you better not come back for me again later. Or I will take control of your mind and make you my puppet." she said.

So, I left her and returned to the carnival. I found the Doctor and companion immediately and apologized for making them worry.

The Doctor pulled me close to her and showed me one of the attractions that caught her attention. She asked me to play with her and so I did. Some people in the carnival thought we are a couple on a date.

7777

The next time team Tardis got into the usual trouble, it was the Doctor who stepped in and pulled me out of harm way to the point that she was the one who got hurt. I was pissed at the random villain of the weeks and I kind of lost my shit, wanted to go after him. I didn't see his minion drew their weapon toward me but the Doctor did and the goodie-good actually jumped and pushed me out of the way.

What the hell, Doctor? What the hell is wrong with you?? I was pissed at her and worried for her. That last one is new. But I calmed myself down by telling myself she would do the same for the other companion. But, her face, I hate to see her in pain. I kept telling myself it was because she looks like the Master; not because I care for her. The Doctor was okay, though, thankfully.

I suddenly was feeling angry at myself. Did I actually worry for the Doctor? She might have the Master's face but she is NOT the Master, dammit! Get a grip, Me!

I have to kill someone, right now, preferably, one of the good guys. Better yet, I thought I should leave the Tardis for the time being or maybe forever. The Doctor is no help anyway in figuring a way of home. Though, that was partly my fault because I didn't exactly tell her what I need from her, did I? Shit. Shit.

Perhaps I should try locating the version of the Master in this universe as much as it would make want to puke to ask the face of the Doctor back in my universe. But, with the Master, there is no guarantee he will want to help.

I growled angrily. "This is bullshit!!!" I raged at the world. "Fuck you, Doctor! Fuck you!!" I cursed the Doctor back in my universe. I hope the Master made him pay greatly for what he did to us.

7777

I left the Tardis. Pretty sure, the companions were relieved that I decided to go, especially Yaz. I was not blind; I knew she has feeling for the Doctor. And, I knew the Doctor also care for her a great deal. Given time, I think they would end up together. I also get that feeling with the Doctor and Yaz back in my universe is the same. Some things were meant to be. Did that mean I robbed the Master of this universe his (name)? Ugh, just no! The other (name) is better off dead.

The Doctor tried to stop me but I asked her to respect my decision. I spouted bullshit about wanting to find myself. She was reluctant to drop me off but eventually relents.

So, I left and I decided to take a break from the world for a while. Then I found her, my mother, I meant, the other (name)’s mother. It was purely coincidence to meet her. But I recognized her from the picture I used to keep back in the Master’s tardis. How can she be alive here? If she is alive, the other me actually still got a family, so, why was she captured by the Division?

I eventually found out that the other (name) ran away from home. Her mother was so happy to see me. She hugged me in tears. I was shocked. I let her took me home.

I missed my mother. I suddenly felt guilty for killing the other (name). I couldn’t tell her that I wasn’t her daughter. I was weak with nostalgic emotion and all I wanted right now is to be a daughter. So I did exactly that.

7777

I was happy for a while with my mother until the Division came again for me. This time, they knew the truth that I was not the real (name). They found her body and they were very curious about who I really am.

During the confrontation, my mother was taken hostage and eventually got killed. And the rest is…you can guess. I lost my shit again and went on a killing spree. I was lucky to get a move before they could slap that power-dampening cuff on me.

I was in pain. The grief of losing my mother, she wasn’t even my real mother, but it still hurts so badly. So, I did the only thing I could do to lessen the pain, I went hunting for Division and I tear every member of the cursed Division limb to limb. I let the monster out and I didn’t care.

Like I said before, this version of Division is pretty much the same as back in my universe which mean I knew most of their secret bases. I didn’t always use my bare hands. I used weapon and bomb to lure and destroy them. The Master would be proud of me. The Doctor would frown and be disappointed but who care about her opinion?

I went to one base and another. Pretty sure, the Doctor would eventually caught wind of what I have been doing and knowing her, she would try to capture and reason with me. Just like the Doctor in my universe once did to me. I didn’t care though. Let her come. But I won’t be letting her capture me. I have an exit strategy, one that I hate to use but I will if I have to. Lately, I felt like giving up altogether. I felt like I could never come home to the Master. I lose hope. What if the Master also given up on me? Why else she still not here to get me?

To my surprise though, it was Sonya who appeared before me. She was sorry for my loss but she begged me to stop killing.

“Get out of the way, Sonya! Do not make an enemy of me!” I yelled.

“If you won’t listen to me, maybe you will listen to her.” She said with a sigh.

I frowned before realizing that it was a trap as I turned around, the Doctor was already behind me and she was quick to put that damn power-dampening cuff on my wrist.

I screamed in rage as I attacked her. But I was no longer strong. She easily captured both of my wrists and tried to have me calm down. But I wouldn’t listen. I started sobbing and crying in her arms. Before I knew it, she put her hands over my forehead and I fell into a deep sleep.

7777

The next time I was awake, I was in a glass prison. Predictable. I was angry as I raged within my prison. I knew I was not on Tardis, the Doctor probably didn’t want me to endanger her precious companions. This is somewhere I don’t know. But the security of the prison is of high quality. I can’t believe it. The Doctor actually put me in a private prison, not a galaxy one that I can be thankful of, but still a prison is a prison. I hated this.

The Doctor and Sonya eventually came to visit me.

The Doctor glanced at me in sorrow.

I observed her and then turned to Sonya. “You broke your promise.”

Sonya shrugged. “I have to. You are making scenes with your reckless killing.”

“When I get out of here, I’m going to enjoy torturing the hell out of you, bitch.” I said with a cold smile.

The Doctor stepped in front of Sonya and pleaded with me. “What happen to you, (name)? This isn’t you.”

“Really? And how do you know that this isn’t me, Doctor?” I asked mockingly. “If Sonya here has told you the truth, then you know everything you think you know about me is a lie.”

“But you saved me. You saved my friends. We saved each other.”

I scoffed. “It was just part of my elaborate ruse.”

The Doctor looked like she want to argue but she didn’t. She scrutinized me with her sad eyes. Finally, she asked, “Why did you kill the Division men?”

I shrugged. “They killed my mother.”

“Don’t you mean the other (name)’s mother? Who are you, really? Sonya said that you are from an alternate universe. How did you get here?” The Doctor asked, no, demanded. “Why would you kill the other you?”

I smiled viciously. “How else would I be able to get your attention, Doctor? I need to be with you in the Tardis.”

“Why?”

“I want to go home.” I finally said. “I thought if I stay with you, I would eventually figure out the way home.”

“Why didn’t you come to me and ask for my help honestly?” She asked. “Why use the elaborate ruse to gain my trust?”

I sighed. “I suppose I thought it would make her proud.”

“Who?”

“The Master.”

“You know the Master back in your original universe?”

I smiled evilly. “Jealous?”

The Doctor scoffed. “You kept bad company.”

“Well, ours is always a bad romance.”

“You? And the Master?” she asked in disbelief.

“Why so surprised? Who else would love a monster but a fellow monster?”

“You are not a monster, (name).”

“You are still deluding yourself, Doctor. The (name) you think you know never existed.”

The Doctor is visibly upset with herself and me. “How did you get here?”

“I never wanted to be here. It was you, the other you, who did this to me! He felt threatened by the Master and me, so, instead of killing me, he sent me far away from my beloved.”

“You want to go back home to the Master.” The Doctor said, finally understanding my motive.

“She can’t be allowed to come back to the Master.” Sonya suddenly said.

I glared at her. “Shut your mouth, bitch!”

“I saw her mind. The word ‘hybrid’ came to mind.” Sonya turned to face the Doctor. “…something about a crossbred of warrior races that will stand in the ruins of…”

The Doctor’s eyes widened as she turned to look at me again. “You and the Master…are the hybrid? Did you two destroy Gallifrey?”

I rolled my eyes. “Gallifrey still stands, at least the last time I heard about it.” I said.

“The Doctor, in your original universe, he believed that you and the Master are the hybrid.”

“Not only him; the Time Lords seemed to think so, at least that was the Master said to me. They kept trying to kill us. We haven’t even step one foot within Gallifrey and already they condemn us. Time Jackass.”

The Doctor frowned at me. “Sonya is right. I can’t let you go back to the Master.”

My jaw dropped at what she said. “Doctor, don’t you dare…”

She glanced at me in sorrow. “I’m sorry, (name).”

“So what? You are going to keep me here? Like a freaking pet?” I yelled as I hit on the glass wall in front of me in my anger.

The Doctor sighed. “I will cure you, (name). That power of yours, I study the project, you are always angry because of the power within your veins. I am going to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. If you think you can experiment on me again, think again!” I yelled. “You think I wasn’t prepared for this eventuality?!”

“Oh, I know what you did. I removed that bomb you planted inside your body. I won’t allow you to hurt yourself.” The Doctor said calmly.

My eyes widened in panic when I realized my exit strategy is basically taken away from me. “No. NOO.”

7777

I didn’t know how long I was in the prison. It felt like months. It has been a while since the Doctor’s last visit. Sonya is within the prison as some sort of warden. She saw my mind and she knew I have been thinking various way of killing her once I got out. But she was confident that I wouldn’t get out.

With times, I did lose my hope of getting out. I can’t even kill myself. The Doctor has taken that choice away from me. People always do that to me, except, the Master. But she is not here. Why isn’t she here???

I got depressed.

7777

“Hi, honey, I’m home.”

My mouth hangs open as I saw the Master, my Master, right in front of me.

The Master winked at me. “Step back; let me get you out of this horrid place.”

I followed her instruction and took a step back away from the glass wall.

Once the glass wall shattered, I walked forward and stared at her, still not believing my eyes.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” The Master asked impatiently.

I slowly smiled as I jumped out and hugged her. “Where were you?!”

“Ugh, you smelled.”

“Oh, nice, ruin the moment, why don’t you?” I said in annoyance.

It was then I noticed she wasn’t alone. Yaz is there but she looks like she is in daze. The Master must have used mind control on her.

“Is that…?” I asked as I glanced at the Master.

“She is the Yaz of this universe. I found you through her. Her Doctor dropped her on earth for a break. She thought I am the Doctor.” The Master explained. “Speaking of, I can’t believe that the other me is actually the Doctor. What’s up with that?” She scrunched her nose in disgust.

I laughed. “Exactly what I thought the first time I saw her.”

The Master grinned at me. “I heard you have been a very naughty girl. Tricking the Doctor into making you a companion…but you got caught. What happened?”

I frowned and grinned slowly. “Did you happen to meet a Sonya on the way here?”

“The telepath. She tried to use mind control on me. But I turned the table on her.”

“Of course you did.” I said as I glanced at her with fondness. I raised my wrist in front of her. “Do you mind?”

The Master smirked. “Say please.”

I rolled my eyes. “Pretty please.” I said deadpanned.

She grinned and used her version of sonic cane to disable the cuff off my wrist.

I smiled. “Thank you, love.”

Sonya was screaming non-stop as I kept my promise to torture her. The Master is dancing in the middle of room, waving her cane around, dancing to the telepath’s scream.

I knew she is sending psychic message for the Doctor to help her. But I won’t let the Doctor rescued her so I snapped her neck immediately. I know the Doctor will be coming anyway…for Yaz. I glanced at Yaz who finally regained her bearing and was staring at me and the Master in fear.

“How could you do this, (name)?” Yaz asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Why wouldn’t I do this? The Doctor and Sonya trapped me in a prison.”

“They just wanted to help you.”

“I don’t need their help.”

“Obviously you do.”

“You really need to shut up, Yaz, don’t make me want to kill you.”

Yaz visibly paled and she, thankfully, shut her mouth.

“The Doctor is on her way here. Should we leave?” I asked as I turned toward the Master.

“Why? I would like to meet the other me, the one you have been chummy with.” The Master replied.

I rolled my eyes. “You can’t seriously be jealous. She was annoying as hell, you would hate her. I hate her.”

“Then, we should torture her together.” The Master said with an evil grin. “What should we do to her Yaz?”

I shrugged. “Are you sure? You said the Doctor is…”

“I know what I said about him and I don’t care. The Doctor here will pay the price as the other Doctor did for what they did to you.”

I was touched that she actually was mad on my behalf. “What did you do to the other Doctor? I hope you give that bastard hell.”

“Oh, I trapped his Yaz on the same mirror he used to trap one of his enemies, a family of blood? Whatever. He went inside the mirror to fetch his pet so I shattered it. It would take him a while to figure out a way out. Best case scenario would be making him watch his Yaz grew old inside that mirror while he remained trapped and immortal. He always hated ending and now he will be forced to face an ending.”

I frowned. “Wish you would throw him into the void…” I muttered. “He has the tendency to come back.”

“Don’t worry, my dear, we will deal with him once we return to our universe.” The Master promised with a feral grin. “And then we will fulfill the hybrid prophecy…” She pulled me to her and kissed me hard.

I honestly didn’t care about the prophecy. I was just happy to be back by her side.

The Doctor’s Tardis materialized on the room. She stepped out of the door and was taken aback to see her own doppelganger was kissing me.

The Master stopped the kiss and turned to greet the Doctor. She grinned at her. “Hello, Doctor. I heard you have been treating my companion very poorly.”

The Doctor turned to look at me. Her eyes widened. “I…she is the Master?”

I smiled a chilling smile. “Now you know…”

The Doctor’s face looked very pale.

Of course, the Master and the Doctor would have to have the same usual dialog of savior-villain theme again. So, I let them have their moment.

“What did you do to Yaz?” The Doctor demanded.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” The Master said.

“Yaz, are you okay?” The Doctor asked.

“I think so.” Yaz replied.

The Doctor then proceeds to threaten us but was stopped when she saw me put a hand over Yaz’s neck.

“Let us leave and you can have her back.” I said.

The Doctor frowned. “You know I don’t take kindly to a threat.”

“And I don’t take kindly to people who imprison me!!” I yelled angrily. “Don’t test me!” I turned to the Master who is glancing at me curiously. “I just want to go home. I’m done with her and this universe.”

The Master nodded, for once acknowledging my wish. “Your wish is my command.” She raised a hand toward me.

I pushed Yaz hard toward the Doctor. The Doctor was barely able to catch her. I walked toward the Master as I rose to reach for her hand.

The Master and I disappeared with her vortex manipulator.

7777

They are now inside the Master’s tardis in space.

The Master put her forehead over mine. “I’m sorry that I took so long, my dear.”

“I’m just glad that you found me.” I said with a watery smile.

“Did you ever doubt I would?” She whispered softly

“Well, truthfully…”

The Master pulled away from me. “Don’t ruin the moment.” She said.

I laughed. “You did it first.”

“You did smell bad before.”

“Now who is ruining the moment?”

7777

“The Doctor, she said, this power I have, it was what causing me so much anger, a side effect of the experiment? Did you know?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Does it matter?”

I pondered over it. “Not really. I don’t regret it. This power, it was what led me to you.”

“Oh, stop it; next, you are going to break into a song.”

7777

And they returned back to their original universe where the wrath of Galifrey descends upon them, leading the army to squash down the suspected hybrid before they ever think to set foot into Gallifrey.

The Master lost her only companion that day. She was taken and imprisoned within Gallifrey where she eventually hack her way out and found out the truth of the Timeless Child. She is the Timeless Child.

In a fit of rage, she destroyed Gallifrey.

A/N2: I love Florence and the machine; I listen to Cosmic Love on a loop while writing this.

Originally, I planned to make the Master and Reader stay a while in 13th Doctor’s universe causing chaos. 13th Doctor would eventually defeat the Master and tricked the Reader by pretending to be the Master.

But the Reader would recognize her as the Doctor through how she kissed her. Because the Master is complicated person and although she does love the Reader, she also hates her that every time they kissed, she would give her psychic message in her mind about how much she hates the reader for making her weak.

I decided not to write this because I kind of feeling like the reader is tired and just want to go home and hopefully cuddle with her beloved? Though that bit with the reader’s death come so suddenly. I wanted to end it with fluff but somehow it ended with the timeless child fiasco.

Well, that’s it folk. Hope you love this fic. I know it is far from perfect but I’m just going to say that I’m evil that’s why I posted this regardless whether anyone actually bother reading this fic.

#13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #whittaker!master x reader #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #thirteenth doctor imagine #whittaker!master #dhawan!doctor #shiefenwrites

68 notes · View notes

lucystillintheskywithdiamonds · 5 years ago

Text

What kills me about the acting in that scene from beyond (when she tries to give the necklace back) is the restraint they both have that says so much. Spock gives her that almost-smile of his that, in that moment, is itself a way for him to control the other emotions he's feeling (that he shows anyway when she walks away, when she can't see. There is so much longing and then later when he said 'I had intended to discuss it further with her' the regret of not following her..). He makes real the 'sad smile' contradiction. And Uhura... Zoe does that thing and you know she wants to tell him so much and she has to literally stop herself from saying anything more... and it's so hard for both of them.

I dunno how anyone could look at that clip alone and not understand, even before the movie explains the context, that these two love each other and they don't want to separate and couldn't stay separate in the end. It's just so obvious that whatever issue they had wasn't about their feelings for one another. They are together since years.

Part of the reason why I'm sad about not getting more movies is because after beyond, I hoped they'd finally leave them alone after everything they went through, thus let them be happy. (At least we have the comics) I didn't expect them to get a whole lot of screentime, just let them be happy after they survived so much drama together after the Vulcan diaspora. What many seem to ignore is that whatever issue these two had, it never was about their love for one another nor the fact he is 'alien'. A bit of cultural conflict is inevitable, and so is the fact they work on a spaceship where their love is tested by dangers... so I'm glad stid dealt with that too; but my feeling had always been that their real issue truly was just the aftermath of Vulcan and the fact he's a survivor. Whatever plans and dreams they had before that, even the simple idea of taking her to his world to meet his mother, make her see where he grew up.. marry in the same place his parents did. He will never be able to get that. I think before that, their relationship probably was drama free for the most part (this Spock is different) and I think he is a better romantic partner than most give him credit for. I never got the feeling the narrative was trying to say the human guys would be better than him and, to me, this wasn't a detail because it could've been so easy for them to fall in the trap of making it seems the human characters are better because they aren't alien like him. Saved for Sulu, you don't see the other guys having more successful romantic relationships than Spock.

I think when you watch the transport pad scene there is no doubt about how tender and loving he is with her, and probably had always been, when they are alone (the fact she didn't look surprised by his actions is telling. And really, her own body language in the turbolift is so sure and telling by itself that denying the pre-existing intimacy between them is foolish). There is a whole world of Spock that she is the only one who knows about, and I always found that aspect fascinating because it's not only sweet in terms of the relationship, it also is interesting as a way to shake up people's expectations and, in a way, prejudices about the characters.

So yeah, tl dr, I hoped to see more of that after the survivor guilt subplot got resolved, and thus more clues of who these two are when the world doesn't see. I think the party scene at the end of beyond can be seen as a hint of the kind of dynamic they have off duty and their flirtatious teasing. Even a bit of courtship from back when they started dating at the academy, just maybe he's a tad more explicit now.

#spock x uhura #spuhura

80 notes · View notes

fanficwriter013 · 5 years ago

Text

The Tower: Unexpected - 8

The Tower: Unexpected An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist

Previous //

Pairing: Avengers x ofc, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2223

Warnings: pregnancy, body image, smut (vaginal sex, pregnancy sex)

Synopsis: A little over 2 years after moving into the Avengers Tower, Elly finds herself pregnant against the odds. While some are excited, others are terrified, and pregnancy that none expected to happen causes rifts through the group and threatens to end the relationship.

Author’s Note: Written with the ever amazing @avengerscompound

Chapter 8: Clint

The next month, I was a little bit of a roller coaster. My morning sickness got really bad. I was throwing up multiple times a day and barely able to keep things down. I still hadn’t even seen a hair of Bucky, Clint or Tony. Hulk was still the Hulk. There didn’t seem to be any indication that Bruce would return. On top of that, I was growing out of all my clothes.

I had Wanda, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and the Hulk though. They were doting on me a lot. Sam was making sure I was eating. If something set off my morning sickness, he’d make note of it and I wouldn’t see it again. He made sure that every meal had what I needed even if it was something really bland so I could keep it down.

Natasha was being anal about all the doctor's orders. She made sure I’d keep going to work and exercising without overdoing it. That I took my anti-nausea medication and vitamins. She kept me out of the public eye too. She was pretty insistent that the press didn’t find out I was pregnant.

Steve was doing the same as Nat as far as the double-checking I’d taken my pills that day, but he was also a huge soft touch when it came to cravings. If I said I felt like chimney cake, he’d go get me Chimney cake even though there were only two places in the whole city that sold it.

Wanda took me shopping for clothes and cuddled with me when I was low. She was always there to hold my hair in the bathroom. And if I really just didn’t want to follow the rules, she was the one that let me off.

Hulk was the one I went to if I really just wanted someone to be excited. Wanda and Nat were excited about it too, but life moved on. Hulk was always excited. He’d light up when he saw me and want to touch my growing stomach. He would tell me how he really wanted to feel them and when I told him we were naming one Pietro and I was thinking about Riley for the other, he got excited that they now had names.

So things were looking up in any case. Not perfect but I didn’t feel so alone. I didn’t feel like I was being foolish hoping the others would come back to me.

It was a Saturday afternoon and I was just sitting alone in the common room when Clint showed up.

Showed up is underselling it really. He climbed down out of the vent above my head babbling like we were already in the middle of a conversation.

“Hey, El. I've been reading. And there are some things that I don't understand. Like, did you know that a fetus can have hiccups? How is that even possible.”

I was too shocked and amused to be upset with him. It was such a Clint thing to do that I felt like I hadn’t lost him in the first place. “Uh.. yeah. Yep. I've felt them. It's weird.”

“The book also said they start to grow fingernails at about 10 weeks.” He continued to babble, sitting down next to me and opening up a baby book full of multicolored tabs to a page and showing me a picture.

“So I read. That's weird to think about. I wonder if they scratch inside there.” I said looking at the book more than the picture. It was well worn and each tab was labeled with things like ‘hearing’ and ‘diabetes’ and ‘alien face’.

“Well, they're not as strong. So maybe you wouldn't feel it?” He said looking from my stomach to the book and then back again.

“Oh yeah. That makes sense.” I said, closing the book and put it on the coffee table. I looked at him and smiled. “You've been reading up?”

“Yes,” Clint said, grinning. “I've done the reading that FRIDAY recommended for me. The margins have notes.”

I took his hand and started playing with his fingers. They were so long and calloused. You could always tell that Clint used his hands a lot. “That's where you've been all this time?”

“I'm a slow reader?” He said trying to play it off as a joke.

I frowned. “I was starting to think I wasn't going to see you again.”

“You know that I dropped out of school and joined a circus right? The circus isn't exactly big on reading.”

“I know. I know.”

“And these words, this topic. Slightly above my reading level.” He said, turning away from me and rubbed the back of his head.

“Clint?”

He fidgeted where he sat. “I know. I’m sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around him, melting into him and smacked him upside the backside of the head. “Don't scare me like that.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He said wrapping his arms around me.

I took a breath and pulled back from him. “Have you been talking to Nat?”

“About the twins?”

I relaxed again. “Good. And you’re okay?”

“The books say that twins make it harder for everyone.” He said.

“Um... well I guess there's two of them. I'll probably end up having to have a c-section too. Which has risks.” I said with a frown.

“Yeah, that's what I read.” His hands had moved almost absentmindedly to my stomach and he ran them gently over the swell.

“But people have them all the time. And while I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever actually see Tony again, he has got really good medical care happening.” I reassured him, putting my hands on his.

“Don't worry about Tony,” Clint said. “I'll throw the book at him.”

“You’ve seen him?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what was worse. If he had or if he hadn’t. I was so worried about him being alone, but the thought he was being with everyone but me hurt like hell.

“I've made him my pet project,” Clint said. “He’s all; ‘I’m gonna be a bad dad. My dad was terrible and I’m just like him’. I’m trying to shake him out of it.”

“Oh good. Thank you.” I said though I’m pretty sure my voice didn’t exactly convey thanks.

“Because Bucky threw a knife at me.”

“Bucky threw a knife at you?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah.” He said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“He's being weird. If it's just about his arm, why doesn't he get a new one.” I said curling into myself.

“Is that an option?” Clint asked. “FRIDAY is that an option? Can Elly see the scans?”

A holographic projection of Bucky’s arm and shoulder lit up in the middle of the table. “Why couldn't he get a new one? Tony could make him an arm, couldn't he? You can upgrade tech.”

Clint flicked the scan around to show the joints. I stood and took a closer look at them. They looked wrong. Like they cared about the arm but not about the person they were attaching it too. It looked like the muscles were tearing at the joint and there were raw nerve endings. With the way he healed faster than average they must have been tearing and repairing constantly. He must be in pain all the time. “Now, I'm not a doctor. But something about these here, are fucked.” Clint said.

“They definitely seemed to care about the arm more than Bucky.” I agreed.

“Yeah, so something about it being a major surgery. And Tony won't do that without Bruce. And…”

“Yeah, but... and okay, granted this bit is fucked up and probably should have already been seen to, but ... okay... don't you guys know doctor Helen Cho? Like isn't... didn't Vision get made with her cradle tech?” I asked. I knew a little bit of the history but not all of it. So I wasn’t exactly sure why they hadn’t done that yet.

“Yeah,” Clint said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “And Ultron tried to kill her. I'm not sure she'd work with us.”

“Well, in any case.... surely you can just take it off from here,” I said indicating to about two inches below where the metal arm started. “And just put new tech on the old connection. Worry about the connection later. Or just take it off. If it stresses him out that much.”

“I'm not sure he thought about that,” Clint said. “And then that brings in the new set of issues in being able to protect his family.”

“Right,” I said closing down the hologram. I really didn’t have the energy to try and figure out how to fix Bucky’s arm. I was far from an expert in that kind of thing anyway. I turned and faced Clint. “You're here?”

“I'm sitting here, right?” He said.

“Yeah... but I don't know. Look at this.” I said and lifted my shirt up to show how big my stomach was getting already.

“You're cooking babies in there,” Clint said putting his hands on either side of it. “What did you expect to happen, El.”

“I don’t know, but … what if no one wants me like this or bigger? Or it ruins my body?” I asked.

He pulled me down into his lap. “Come here, dummy.”

“You’re the dummy.” I pouted.

“We love you, El. Nothing’s gonna change that.” He said. “Plus, I think you look hot.”

I nuzzled into his neck, not wanting to look into his eyes. “You know what else happens in pregnancy?”

“Is this the part where you tell me that the books weren't actually written by 15-year-old boys like I thought.” He joked.

“They were not at all.”

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Is that safe? That's not a no. Just a genuine worry.”

“Yeah. It's safe. Everything is fine.”

“Well then…” He said and pulled me into a hungry kiss.

He pulled back for just enough time to get my shirt off before we were kissing again and his hands roamed over my belly. I turned to straddle his lap and cupped his jaw, holding him in place as we kissed.

I rocked my hips and could feel the way his cock hardened under me. The problem was, my stomach kept pushing against his abs slightly painfully.

“Oh no. This isn’t going to work.” I said pulling back a little.

“Then we adapt.” He said patting my thing. “Turn around.”

“You don’t want to look at me?”

“Oh honey,” Clint said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You’re a mess. A beautiful sexy, mess, who I most definitely want to have my way with. I’m just trying to make it comfortable for you.”

“Oh, right,” I said. “Sorry.”

“Do you want to turn around?” He asked.

I spun around in his lap and leaned back against him, grinding my ass in his lap. “Yeah, this is better.”

“Plus, I can do this.” He teased squeezing my breasts and sending a wave of pleasure through me.

“I do like that.” I hum.

“I know you do.” He said kissing my neck. He kept squeezing and massaging my breasts and his hand down into my pants. He palmed my cunt and I moaned as a dull tingle spread through me. His fingers slipped between my folds and circled over my clit before pushing inside me.

He fingered me slowly as he sucked a patch on my throat and tugged on my nipple. “Feels so good.” I moaned.

“I know what my princess likes.” He hummed.

“I want you inside me, Clint.” I moaned.

He nudged me forward, pulling his hand from my cunt. “Then there are still too many clothes on.”

I stood and pulled my pants down and off. “That’s a nice view,” Clint said, running his hand over my ass and pulling me back down into his lap. He rutted his hips against me, his cock sliding up and down my pussy before he sunk into me.

“Oh god, that’s it.” I moaned.

“Yeah, it is.” He groaned.

I bounced in his lap as he massaged my tits and rubbed my clit. Thanks to the pregnancy I was overwound and super sensitive. It was like there was nothing he could do that was the wrong move. Each thing sent wave after wave of pleasure through me. I came. The way my body clenched and shuddered around him seemed to spur him on more. He started fucking up hard into me, snapping his hips against mine. His fingers worked tight circles on my clit. “Fuck. Clint. I can’t… I’m gonna…” I babbled.

“That’s okay, princess.” He purred, nipping at my earlobe. “As many times as you like.”

I came again. Followed by a third time. My legs started trembling and I began to feel weak. He held my hips and began to thrust up into me, and when I came again, so did he, spilling inside of me.

I relaxed back against him and he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled into my neck. “There you go. See, I’m good at taking care of pregnant women.”

“Oh yeah? How many have you taken care of?” I laughed.

“Just you. But I studied. So … we’ll be okay.”

// NEXT

347 notes · View notes

prettywordsyouleft · 5 years ago

Text

Human Nature

Prompt: #61 + #64 for anon – “I wish I’d never met you.” + “I came to say goodbye.”

Anonymous said:

Hey. I'm the anon who requested number 61+64 alien drabble with Jeonghan. It was my first time requesting so I was wondering if you will do it. Trhank you. 😊

Pairing: Jeonghan x reader

Genre: alien au / romance / angst

Warnings: none

Word count: 1640

“I came to say goodbye,” he whispered into your ear, knowing the words would only meld into your dream state and not alert you of his actual departure. The idea of you being awake and sending him off was too much to bear.

Especially if you cried.

Jeonghan’s mission to visit Earth was to gather intelligence. He had been sent to further understand why humans were unpredictable creatures, so vast in mindset and emotions. The planet from which he came from was a peaceful place, where no one questioned the unnecessary. Everyone carried out the same level of productivity each day, all working towards the greater good of their land. There was never any true shift in demeanour, unlike what they had observed from Earth. They had decided after inspecting from afar for some time that they would send multiple teams to different parts of this foreign world, to get a more in-depth grasp over why humans were the most peculiar of creatures.

To him, you had been the most unusual of them all.

You possessed no sense of gravity, you ate even when you weren’t hungry and you could laugh and cry all in one day. What had started as curiosity soon evolved into great interest. Jeonghan was certain you were a very different kind of human and one that his species would find enthralling to understand up close.

His approach in getting to know you made you experience high spikes of anxiety though.

“Is… is there something I can help you with?” you asked of him, blinking rapidly. He watched you for a moment or two, scanning your expression avidly. You were fearful of him and so to ensure he was successful, he smiled at you.

His human guise could perhaps be thought of as handsome, at least, that was what he had heard a group of women on the university campus exclaim as he walked by. Back home, he looked just like everyone else and so Jeonghan had to admit, he was a little impressed by his choice of outward appearance here on Earth.

The smile didn’t ease you at all, and Jeonghan soon realised that his appearance made you uncomfortable. Should he change it? Could you be suffering from a sense of unworthiness? He attempted to raise a gentle hand towards you but your eyes remained guarded and he dropped it, lowering his head and walking away.

For a confident alien, every time he tried to connect with you, he would become feeble in your presence. You were slowly coming out of your shell, not necessarily at ease with him, though you no longer guarded your expression either. Jeonghan was frustrated at how slow you opened up compared to all the other female humans. They would fawn over him, displaying large amounts of sexual desire and willingness to get closer to him. He wasn’t seeking that kind of connection with your kind, though it did perturb him that you didn’t act in the same manner.

“You often appear here,” you mentioned in the study hall one evening, off your own accord. A small smile pulled at your lips. “You live in the apartment complex across the road from me, right?”

So you had noticed him then. He smiled and nodded, choosing not to speak to you yet. You were doing such a good job at conversing with him already that he worried he would unsettle you if he did.

The next time he appeared in the library however, he did. And soon you would actively have conversations together, your smiles brightening the further you got to know him. Or at least, the storyline he had adopted for his human stay.

Somewhere along the lines, he had started to incorporate things that weren’t so planned into his talks with you, finding himself lying awake at night and trying to decipher where the thought came from. It felt like his own, yet he had never needed to express himself in any other way before to his fellow kind. There was no true way of expressing how one felt back home and Jeonghan slowly realised the habits of doing so on a daily basis here on Earth were rubbing off on him.

He was understanding humanity a little more as time went by.

“Why did you approach me, Jeonghan?” you asked on a walk home one night, and he glanced down at you, brows knitting together. He noticed the flush of colour to your skin, the increase of your beating heart. You were anxious over something, yet your lips curled ever so slightly, more with anticipation.

Blinking, he attempted to settle your nerves with a smile. “I wanted to know more about you.”

“Why me?” You kicked the toe of your sneaker mindlessly into the grass field you were crossing together back to your apartments. He had started worrying about you doing this trek alone late at night, and so lately he would meet you at the library, even if he hadn’t come to study.

Or well, pretend to study in his case.

You were still shy. “I mean, you could spend your time getting to know anyone else. I’m kind of clumsy and boring as a human, you know.”

He smiled, at least you knew of your faults well. “I like that you’re clumsy and boring.”

“Oh.” You were crimson now, skin boiling with foolishness. “So I’m just a friend?”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else worth spending my time with. You are my favourite,” he explained, hoping that would ease how uncomfortable you appeared.

Nodding all too fast you turned to him, stretching up just long enough to peck him on the cheek before dropping back onto your heels, rocking as you gathered your balance. Despite how stunned he felt, his hand shot out on instinct to help you remain upright, holding onto your wrist protectively. You glanced down at his hand there and smiled, possibly the most beautiful smile he had ever seen in his time here.

It wasn’t in Jeonghan’s mission to fall in love. Although the concept was one his people wished to learn more about, he had not been sent here to delve so deeply into the emotion as he had with you. Over the next four months, shy moments turned passionate, to where he started to lay at your side after sessions of love-making that made him feel more human than anything else. He had blurred the lines between what type of entity he was entirely. He had no desire to report back to his homeland, no inkling to go back to a world where everyone was the same. He appreciated all your little nuances, the way you allowed yourself to be vulnerable around him compared to everyone else.

You were his human and he would do anything for you.

He had hoped he wouldn’t be the cause of your pain, however. His chest hurt as he watched the tears well in your eyes, your bottom lip wobbling with the pressure of holding your emotions back long enough to ask him. “You’re… you’re leaving?”

“I have to go back to my home. But I will return.”

“I thought, this was your home,” you mumbled, lowering your head. “Where are you going? Is it far away? Will I be able to come visit? Or we could do long distance-”

He shook his head sadly. “I won’t be able to be in contact while I’m away. I don’t know how long it will be either. Maybe months or a year. I’m sorry.”

“Is this your way of breaking up with me?” you whispered, voice cracking under the weight of your tears. “Was this just a game for you, make the awkward girl fall in love with the handsome guy?”

“Y/N,” he called as you looked up, seeing the barriers being built back up, one layer at a time. Jeonghan closed his eyes; he had worked too hard to get through each of them. Yet he had no choice. He had been summoned and the return flight home would be in two days. He had no idea when he would be allowed to return.

Jeonghan knew he would find a way to do just that, though. “I love you.”

Tears now streamed down from your eyes, your head shaking softly and sending them out as little shields in his direction. Pushing his confession away. “I wish I’d never met you.”

It hurt him to hear you utter such words but he could tell it troubled you even more, the way your legs gave way with the eruption of your pain. The sobs were wild and he backed away, unable to comprehend that he had shouldered you with such burden.

Jeonghan left you there, and it was the hardest thing he had ever faced.

Tonight, under the moonlight that shone through your windows proudly, uncovered by your usual heavy curtains as you had forgotten to close them, Jeonghan spent a final time at your side. You had shifted towards him out of instinct, arms slipping around his waist and your head buried into his chest. You were smiling in your dreams, perhaps in a world where he and you could be together forever. He slowly smiled himself; he craved that more than anything else.

Not this goodbye that he must endure just as much as you. Running his fingers through your hair softly, he pressed his lips to the side of your head, pulling back and let out a shaky breath. “I love you, my beautiful human.”

And with that, he climbed up and left your apartment, unseeing the tears that fell from behind closed eyes, your heart unable to reach out and stop him. Somehow knowing he had to leave for a reason that held no other option.

And hoping he would return for love.

_________________

[Drabble Game Masterlist] | [SEVENTEEN Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

83 notes · View notes