#i love cringefests

[inpursuitofnunchi]

also the choi parents finally confessing to each other and being whipped for each other yes pls love in CAPITAL LETTERS y'all

[niko-ur-local-moron]

Throws this at you and scuttles away

[diseaseriddencube]

this is just my face when hirotoshi...exists

[littlegildedswallow]

oh OH OOOHhh the intensity in hannibal's eyes and voice when he stares into will's beautiful traumatized face and whispers "This killer wrote you a poem. Are you going to let his love go to waste?"

[voidscarredadjudicator]

If team Zombie wins I swear I'm going to commit a fucking felony

let's win this one for our fellow boners

[prismatoxic]

loving the timeline i got to witness of:

-yahtzee reviews a game on zero punctuation -in the course of the script he finds a reason to bring up ayn rand/atlus shrugged, mostly as a joke -brings up ayn rand again as the closing punchline -final credits message is "bioshock was a good game wasn't it" -one day later the escapist uploads a new extra punctuation about why bioshock's opening is amazing

did you get bioshock on the brain by any chance, mr. croshaw?

idk what his schedule of making ZP/EP looks like, though i do suspect that EP might possibly be visually edited by someone else? i'm like 99% sure yahtz still does ZP by himself except to pass it by matt the editor for notes on where he should maybe swear less, but EP is kind of visually different (despite using yahtzee's art still) so maybe he just reads his script and lets matt do the visuals? idk. the man's busy he puts out 2 videos like every week, i wouldn't blame him

regardless, my point is that idk where in the process he decided to make an EP on bioshock, but the idea of him writing the sea of stars script, thinking about ayn rand a little too hard, and getting on a bioshock kick because of it is pretty damn funny

if he addresses this in the bioshock video i'm going to feel very silly but i was just taking a food + youtube break so i only watched the sea of stars review for now

[maple-flavored-whiskey]

I haven't posted anything about my ocs but,,, i have ocs,,, i swear

Hey, can y’all rb this if it’s okay to send you messages asking about your ocs, cause on god I wanna interact with y’all but I am terrified of being annoying lol

[offbeat-manga-ships]

ELF GA JOOU-SAMA! (エルフが女王様！)

That Elf is My Queen! , Elven dominatrix! / clover

Complete, with 7 chapters / 1 volume

F/M; Adult, Seinen, Fantasy, Borderline H + interspecies, dom f, sub m, role reversal, taller f x shorter m, ag, ag: ym x of, younger m, older f, fem m

SUMMARY: The elven queen Elfin was killed and reborn into our world in the home of Isuzu, an ordinary temp worker. Isuzu wanted to help Elfin, who was determined to become "The Queen Of The Human World," by suggesting Elfin could become an… "SM" queen? Intrigued by this new idea, Elfin will learn the joys of becoming a "dominatrix" as she teases Isuzu with all sort of toys!!

"From now on, I will be the slave of this woman (elf)!"

MAL score: N/A AL mean score: 54% MU average: 5.3

PERSONAL SCORE: 8 out of 10

[cursedzucchini]

You know what? Fuck it

DC x DP prompt #3

I think at least lmao.

Anyway! Jason starts making videos on YouTube for one reason or another (is really stressed, no one listens to his rants Abt books who cares). His content is mostly bad books he read or really really really long rants Abt pride and prejudice. Like 3 hours on one tiny detail he noticed on his 214th read through.

He's kinda popular, mostly bc his terrible books videos. He talks Abt the ones that made him the most mad, which coincidentally are mostly romance and supernatural. Like he's one of the well known figures in the supernatural romance critique group (whcih is pretty small, but well). (Also he doesn't show his face on camera, bc secret identity and stuff, it's just his voice over a video of something mundane, like the sky or a room in which is a fly or something)

And now this can go two ways, that i can think of (w dead on main in mind at least)

1) one day Jason finds a book which is supernatural romance and is actually good. It has a kidna cliche system for the supernatural stuff, but with a refreshing twist. The characters have depts and flaws, yet are still very likable. The plot is actually interesting and overall the story's theme is death, not belonging anywhere and overall stuff that is very close to Jason's heart. The story doesn't shy away from violence and it is suprisingly accurate.

(I'm.gonna reblog this w pretty long idea of what this book could be Abt, bc i don't wanna annoy ppl lol)

Anyway Jason kinda falls in love w it, and it becomes famous for being the first novel Jason rated positively or something.

Meanwhile Danny, who was told by jazz writing is good way to get his feeling out, and just wanted to make a quick buck, is really fucking confused how tf did his book become so popular and who tf is this nerd who rates books for a living.

(basically big fan Jason and suspicious/awkward Danny lmao)

2) there is a famous series on Jason profile. It's the worst fucking series he ever read and it's just fucking awful. All the characters are fucking terrible, always going on and on about one thing, the romance sucks in a way that isnt even funny. Jason would love to believe some wrote this as a joke, if it wasn't for the absolute cringefest this was, and it wasn't a whole ass series!! Like who writes 12 books for a joke?

Danny ducking Fenton that's who. Dude was so ducking annoyed at his rogues, he threatened them w writing a terrible romance novels abt them. The ghosts, knowing his terrible grade in literature backed off for a moment, before someone crossed the line. And write Danny did. It was the worst thing he had ever written, the love interest was perfect caricature yet still faithfully go the original. And Danny, because fuck them he lost sommuch sleep over that one prank, decided to publish it. (The book was pretty thin so it didn't take that much time writing it). Unfortunately it became immensely popular in the infinite realm. So the ghosts started crossing lines on purpose. Before Danny figured it out, he had already published his fifth book and was writing another three. After some bargaining, getting a book written Abt them as a piece of shit love interest became a reward.

And while yeah, he had to say his writing was terrible and the books sucked, some small part of him was kinda proud y'know? Like a mother of her twelve ugly as fuck toddlers.

So when he saw some nerd on the internet not only shit talk his book, but also get money of it?

Danny decided to haunt him (just like his books did him, now that everyone knew Abt them thanks to this guy)

(enemies (sorta it's not that serious tho) to lovers ala terrible writer Danny who hates his books and kinda famous YouTuber hasn't who also hates Danny's books)

--

Fuck this is way too long wtf. Anyway imma reblog this w 1) book idea. Might add whatever i think the twelve books could be Abt. Pls if u want to add anything to this pls do!!

[randomnameless]

Late but I’m here!

The only issue I have with this, as in “Rhea should have guided humans” is how this plays in the Fodlan greater issue of wanting to have 1 Leader of the World (that would of course stay unified) and in the process, it removes agency from the rest of said World that is being ruled over.

In a nutshell, SS wants us to believe Rhea should have been the Leader of the World like so many edelstans accuse her to be, but if she did, then what would the humans have done? It’s as if SS is telling her Rhea apologises because she let humans deal with their own affairs and issues which is... understandable, in a game about guidance - where the player is God Reborn - but not so much in a franchise known for its characters and at least varied world buildings, with different nations existing here and there.

Also I disagree about the War of Heroes, it ends in 98 - by then Rhea already recovered Sothis in 91 and everyone save for whoever is implanted in Maurice’s forehead - per Nopes, Lycaon was made Emperor in 91 (Willy ceded his throne when Nemesis died) but Wilhelm was still around to help him out - they bail out in 98, ergo, 7 years after the each got what they wanted from the WoH - Sothis and peace in Fodlan.

Imo, regardless of him being her kid of not, Lycaon was the “heir” Wilhelm was preparing and counted on, he was the person who could be put in charge after the War, but Wilhelm would continue supporting him. Rhea was still fighting out there to recover the remains of her family, but she was still around and still had faith in the future, humanity or whatever because resurrecting Sothis wasn’t in her plans as of yet.

But then, Lycaon dies, Rhea stops chasing the Elites (Maurice is still around, and given how Nopes added a part where Maurice killed a “Saint” I’m pretty sure Rhea wanted to slaughter him as much as the others) and builds Garreg Mach, preparing Sothis’s return - from that point, whatever hopes Rhea had, died and only Sothis can guide the world. 

Not her, not Wilhelm, not Lycaon, only Sothis.

And yet, even if Rhea bailed out of Adrestia, her Church still existed, and was seen as a reliable authority and/or power to appeal to in case Adrestia went wrong, as Loog demonstrated!

Maybe the S support and Rhea’s fault is this : she should have trusted humanity (and herself!) more, instead of defaulting to Sothis when Adrestia went bonkers, but by closing her eyes to the present Fodlan (and even this is relative, as we see through the game!) she allowed the continent to be guided by the now fallen!Adrestia, which in turn led to more divisions (birth of Faerghus) and strife... and we’re supposed to see this as a bad thing?

As we see it through the game, lolcalisation be damned, the Church of Seiros used to have influence and soft power in Fodlan, Rhea tried to guide, albeit not directly by ruling, humans, who in turn, used her teachings as toilet paper. 

But Fodlan was guided by at least 4 entities, Rhea, the Empire, the Kingdom and whatever happens in the Alliance. For better or worse, humans shared that “guiding duty” Rhea had, and SS’s finale (and her S Support) suggests it wasn’t supposed to be, Rhea alone was supposed to guide Fodlan?

Like you say, when people work together, they don’t need gods, let them be Supreme Leader or Sothis, but for Rhea, it’s only when she works with a specific someone, like Archbishop Rhea and God King/Queen Reborn Byleth will bring miracles, but, Archbishop Rhea, King Lambert, Emperor Ionius and Count Gloucester don’t work, just like Archbishop Rhea, Emperor Otto 3 and King Loog, or not Archbishop Rhea and Emperor Wilhelm, etc etc...

So when Rhea laments that she should have done more to guide Fodlan, are we supposed to think she should have been the only entity in Fodlan, slapped Ionius or even Helga 1 who succeded Lycaon, and ruled more “directly”, or are we supposed to believe she should have worked more with the humans of Fodlan - something she does in-lore and in-game - ?

Unlike Supreme Leader’s Supreme ending with Billy where she bails out the second her successor is appointed, Rhea bails out when her (or at least Wilhelm’s) successor is killed - and yet she still offers a presence to the people of Fodlan through her Church. Trying to fix things with the limited scope she has, without straight out knocking sense in people with her fists.

Should she have done more? Maybe...? Could she have done more? Without basically becoming the only Leader of the World and enforcing her decrees with swords in the heads of Adrestians, and later, Fodlan people, who just don’t care about her anymore? Uh... no.

And it’s, again, telling how in the end of SS - when Billy supports her - Rhea remains the Archbishop, she doesn’t “directly” rule over Fodlan, that’s Billy’s thing! Rhea remains the Archbishop with her Church and soft power...

Basically what she has been doing since the end of the WoH, and this time, it works for Fodlan because Billy is here. And conveniently, the 3 other lords/nations disappeared, so it’s kumbaya time and no one will challenge Billy’s rulership.

I know you mentionned in earlier posts about the game not being that complicated, but all the issues raised in the game - in the other routes - that limited Rhea’s scope of action “can you force people to accept something that is different”, “how to end discriminations” “my way or your head” ultimately end up with a “and they lived happily ever after because Billy is Sothis reborn/awesome/the character supposed to be the player’s self-insert so of course they manage to change everything for the better”.

Tl;Dr : this support and this ending isn’t about Rhea, the only reason why their joint guidance/rule is called “miraculous” is because Billy is here, instead of all the precedent losers who preceded them. Rhea’s sin is that she didn’t work with Billy since the beginning - which is completely bonkers, but this is what this support and this ending lead to.

@randomnameless

I think that while Rhea does blame herself in the S support, she never specifies what she did wrong. But when you consider her arc, how she needed to let go of her mother rather than wanting her to come back and make everything better again, I think there's a good case to be made that it's not any supposed Crest system or false history that she's saying was wrong. Rather she's saying she was wrong by not directly guiding the people.

Think of it like this, both her and Wilhelm got what they wanted out of the War of Heroes. Rhea avenged her people and recovered their remains, including her mother's, while Wilhelm united the continent and ended the era of bloodshed Nemesis brought about. But then after the war, they just left. They left, and the Empire they created went into moral decline almost instantly. They got what they wanted, but didn't stay to continue guiding the people. That is what Rhea's fault is, regardless if Lyacoan was her kid or not. They should have stayed, performed her duties to the people they're now responsible for, rather than peacing out with the hope that the changes they've brought about would stick.

(you know, kinda like how Edelgard's plan to reform the empire then retire will likely crash and burn considering the Empire was founded on meritocracy).

That is Rhea's sin. She came back, saw things had gone to shit and her attempt to fix it was to bring her mother back to life so she can fix it. That she can make things go back to the way they once were, similar to how Edelgard's plan is to restore power to the Emperor and reunite Fodlan setting the world back to what it once was. But in a way, it's also similar to what Byleth ultimately does in Flower. They deny taking leadership, instead putting their faith in Edelgard to fix Fodlan and even call her a title referring to a god if they S support her (though, El is also the name of the supreme deity of the ancient Canaanites and in Eastern Sumetic languages. Supreme deity for supreme leader, fitting) thus undermining (alongside the society Edelgard is said to strive for in the Japanese text) any idea that the world made by Flower is one without gods. Edelgard wants people to be self-reliant, ultimately controlling the religion of the continent to pass her own beliefs off as those of the Goddess. Game even calls her out in a few routes of wanting to replace the Goddess with herself (Mila did too in FEH), just like how the "good" route for Scarlet Blaze reveals that Edelgard…secretly still doesn't trust people.

The game does believe in the message Edelgard speaks of, don't get me wrong, but it's in Silver Snow that message isn't undermined. With Byleth's support, Rhea can be saved and learn to move on. Their combined efforts sees miraculous reforms according to the text, rather than them instead expecting Edelgard or Sothis to fix everything for them. When people work together they don't need gods, or in Ed's case a dictator with a god-complex, indeed!

[lavendergalactic]

☆ 　froppy tumblr layouts!

day 4 of @luvistrz's event ! " a character that has the same zodiac as you " f2u w/ credit, reblog appreciated!

tsu is an aquarius! just like me! silly ramble + lilay lore drop under cut :3

lavender fun fact: i dont really understand zodiacs that much since i don't know how compatible someone is with me depending on where the earth was in space when we were shoved out a womb but it's always fun doing these little things

doing this made me miss my hero academia a little, yeah i was one of those mha fans.. but that was when i was 13-14 everyone is weird when they're 13-14

i actually got really famous on youtube (like 30k subscribers) making bnha gacha life vine videos. yeah. those are dark times we'd never talk about again. i still love my hero academia though, it's very nostalgic to me although i was a cringefest when i was into it

another lavender fun fact: my favourite character (she has always been my fav) is uraraka! my first ever cosplay was uraraka, i still own the wig and cosplay her, i think i look pretty in uraraka

[ghooostugs]

i love you absolute basketcases of teen romance i love you awkward yearning i love you lovesick losers who are only now realizing what it means to truly fall for someone i love you cringefests of first dates i love you being so upfront about your feelings it makes you melt into a little puddle i love you being so down bad for someone people are annoyed with it i love you i love you i love you

[olderthannetfic]

the soul shattering knowledge that your fav is absolutely a whole cringefest himself. like he is so beautiful, so complexe, so hurt. and also unbearably cringe. he has the edge of a 13 year old gamer and the vocabulary of a self-important 60 year old boomer. I love him but I can't defend him

--

[kneelingshadowsalome]

How do you think konig would feel with a partner who loves when he speaks german? Like might even ask him to do it in bed just cuz it gets her feeling some type of way. (German just sounds so good to me don't ask me why😭)

I see him going over the top with it because he's so happy about it + he doesn't understand the meaning of "less is more". Just doesn't know how to dose it, and it's hot at first, cute after a while, but then he starts to sound like he's getting off on it even more than you do :( Starts to lose his breath and grit his teeth, goes on and on about what his 'Schwanz' will do to your 'Muschi', even baby talks to you in German while you're out in public. It's a cringefest with König, don't do it.

[3liza]

The poster is the worst advertising for what the film actually turns out to be. You think you're getting into another screwball millennial cringefest and it's actually a deep-blue chiaroscuro of neuroses. I really thought I would not be surprised by the depths of male anxiety and weirdness going into a movie about sperm donation, because the topic itself is so trammeled at this point and so obvious that you assume you already know everything such a documentary could teach you, but I got my tits blown clean off.

No one does anything BAD, it's not that kind of film, it's simply a silent and eerie observation of people acting completely independently to either provide or acquire human semen. Necessarily, the receivers in this setup are all buying the same product for the same purpose: they want to conceive a baby and don't have access to the missing gamete for some reason and don't have the extortionate amount of money required to go the official route through a sperm bank. The providers are all doing it for completely different reasons, and all of the reasons besides "making a bit of extra cash" are in fact weird, no matter how stubbornly some of the reviewers here insist the motives of the donors are simply "to help people out :)". Sperm is just the kind of thing you really don't want to get from a stranger unless money is exchanging hands, so by this property the male subjects in the film become perfect documentary protagonists: profoundly damaged, bizarre, or obsessive in ways that stand up to steady, direct observation.

I'm not judging anyone here, by the way. I guess if you have a lot of money to throw around you probably would waste it on genetically profiling strangers in a lookbook in a nice office in order to breed your ubermensch or whatever. I'm being nasty, there are lots of good reasons to want to anonymize, institutionalize and vet sperm donors, it's just that the idea is ludicrous on its face because this is a substance people never ever stop trying to push on you for free, or pay you money to take off their hands. Epigenetics and environmental factors being what they are, I question the utility of "genetic testing" beyond a certain point anyway. No one is being exploited or misled. The people who want babies can conceive and it doesn't really matter in the big picture whether the donors are doing it for "the right reasons" or not.

There are some more esoteric ethical considerations here that aren't addressed at all, which is probably for the best in consideration for the pacing of the film, but I could have used at least one interview with a genetics expert who winced at hearing some of these donors have 100+ sperm babies because of the very real possibility of creating future half-sibling incest crises unawares, a problem that real sperm banks and actual legislation have to grapple with. You get one good-looking Norwegian brain surgeon on the books at a sperm bank and you get a line out the door of people with too much money who know what being 6' tall and blue-eyed and symmetrical is worth down to fractional shares and have already put a down payment on the local private montessouri pre-K prep program. Genetic Sexual Attraction or GSA for short is a documented (and controversial) phenomenon that causes a lot of high-profile scandals when long-lost siblings or birth parents are reunited with a child who was the subject of a closed adoption, fall in love with them, and reenact various historical and mythological tragedies. That thing where you tend to find your blood relatives sexually repulsive or at least uninteresting is a way that social animals avoid getting into failure spirals of incest and birth defects, but humans have a tendency to be attracted to people who resemble themselves physically and personality-wise, so meeting a sibling or parent you didn't grow up with can sometimes short-circuit the incest-avoidance failsafes and create instantaneous, passionate obsession. That's what people who are involved in cases of GSA report, anyway. Half-sibling pairings aren't quite as bad in terms of the mutation issues, but it is definitely not good for the health of the resulting offspring or the mental health of the related parents. These lone gunmen fathering dozens of children in the same school district are potentially creating serious problems down the line. 

The cinematography is breathtaking. It's truly a phenomenal film from any angle.

My mother is a family lawyer by the way, if you ever find yourself in this situation (for example you are someone's friend and they ask you to be a donor) you need to make sure you have an IRON CLAD contract checked by an actual lawyer and probably notarized that you are absolved of all parental rights and obligations irreversibly, or you WILL eventually find yourself in the position one donor did at the end of the film: suddenly being the sole custodian of a little girl named "Italeigh". Family law is not like any other field of law in the USA, the judges in family court care about one thing only and that's Who Is Gonna Pay for This Damn Kid. Which is correct, and I'm not saying family court is always fair or that the judges make the right decisions all the time, but a proper family court judge will walk to Hell to bring the devil in for a wage garnishment and you need to be aware of that. Legally you are someone's dad until another dad legally enters the picture and supplants you (for example a stepfather officially adopting a child) or you have irrefutable paperwork saying you're excused. By the way, legal status pre-empts biological status. The guy who is married to the person who gives birth is legally on the hook for child support and caretaking of any child produced during the union unless there's a paternity suit and a bunch of rigamarole. This may appear unfair to the casual observer but family law is designed to prioritize the survival and wellbeing of the child above the rights of the parents and potential parents. So a freelance sperm donor without REALLY good paperwork is on the hook, absolutely.

[eyesthatroll]

escape from la | luke hughes

pairing; luke hughes x fem!reader

warning(s); smut (blowjob, no pnv), cursing, idk what else, lowercase intended. minors dni!

word count; 0.4k

title is random, was listening to escape from la by the weeknd idk.

“oh-oh my god.” he murmurs, his breathing ragged and stiff.

you brought your mouth off of him, licking the pre cum and saliva that had besmeared your chin. “is this okay, luke?” you asked quietly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

pupils dilated, face reddened, such a beautiful boy.

your beautiful boy.

“baby please..” his voice dies off.

you gave a few kitten licks to his swollen tip, before taking him in your mouth again.

luke lets out a strangled groan, his hands grabbing the back of your head, pushing his cock further in your mouth.

you take him as best you can, using your hand to satisfy the rest of what you cant reach.

ignoring the burning in your jaw, you bobbed your head at a steady pace, the quiet whimpers leaving luke’s mouth giving you the motivation to continue.

“ ‘m not gonna last.” he says breathlessly.

you give one of his thighs a squeeze before increasing your pace, using your other hand to fondle his balls softly.

“…f—fuck.” luke lets out a pornographic moan, his hands dropping from your hair to grip the bed sheets, as he reaches his high. eyes pained shut, brows furrowed in concentration.

pulling off of him, you palm him through his orgasm, watching him as his seed spurts in the valley of your breasts.

glancing down at your chest, you use your index finger to gather his cum, looking up at him as your lips wrap around your finger.

you moaned quietly at the taste of him, swallowing all of him in one go.

luke watches you, breathing heavily as he pushes sweat stricken curls out of his eye-line.

“was that okay?” your teeth graze your bottom lip, as you look to your boyfriend for praise.

luke lets out a nervous chuckle, shaking his head as he brings you up on to his lap.

you straddle his waist, your hands resting on his lower stomach as you waited for him to continue.

“god, that was— you are-” you interrupt him, pressing your lips against his to shut him up.

his lips move in sync with yours, and you can feel him smiling into the kiss before he pulls apart, resting his forehead on yours. “you’re amazing.”

your lips twist into a grin. “i love you, beautiful boy.”

/end.

—

a/n: idk how u guys write smut i literally could not stop laughing. consider this a scrap since it was my first time writing smut?? yeah it was. LOL. anyways, hope it wasnt that much of a #cringefest. i’ve also never given a blowjob, so this may be inaccurate idk 😜 also devs up 3-2 lets mf go!!