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scary-grace · 4 months ago

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#3 for roommates to lovers!! :D

Hi! Thank you so much for this prompt! As I alluded to, I went through two other versions of this fic before settling on this one, so if this ends up not being your speed, that's okay -- let me know and I'll post one of the others.

Prompt: “i’m guessing that the fact you’re already home will tell me everything i need to know about how your date went.” No quirks AU, female reader, Shigaraki and the reader are roommates, approximately 3k. ANGST. But with a happy ending.

CASUAL

You hear the key in the lock on the front door and try to scramble up off the couch, at which point the four shots of vodka you’ve taken announce their presence. The first thing to go is your balance, and you bump into the coffee table before tipping backwards onto the couch again. The next is your dignity, when you realize that your roommate and his Valentine’s Day date are about to walk in and see you, on the couch in your pajamas and totally trashed. The third is your control over your emotions. Your face heats up and your throat goes tight and your eyes start to sting, and that’s all before Tomura even opens the door.

Tomura snagged himself a date for Valentine’s Day. A really hot date, Spinner took pains to tell you, like it was something for you to be excited about. Some cosplayer whose DMs he slid into, who dresses up as the slutty version of all his favorite video game characters, who flirts with guys and girls alike but never seems to settle down. Tomura’s friends are all amazed that he was able to pull it off, but you aren’t. You’ve been roommates with Tomura long enough to know that there’s more to him than meets the eye.

And you know he’s got some degree of game. You’d have to, since it worked pretty well on you.

Or maybe your game, as weird and offbeat as it is, worked pretty well on him. However it happened, you’ve been fucking him for the last six months. It started as hooking up to blow off steam, because neither of you had been on a date in forever and you were both too lazy or bad at dating apps to find a booty call. Just a roommates-with-benefits thing. A little recreation. Casual.

You’re not sure where it went off the rails, but over the past six months, you’ve slid from not hanging out except when you’re fucking to hanging out all the time, from bitching about your friends and their love lives to trading loaded glances when it comes up, from texting each other hey you up from your rooms to sleeping in the same bed. It started out as casual, but it’s not casual anymore. At least not to you. You were trying to think of how to raise the subject with Tomura, and thinking maybe of doing it tonight, until he announced out of nowhere that he’s got this date.

You didn’t find out until a couple days ago, and since then you’ve been seething, or at least you tell yourself that the throbbing ache in your chest is seething instead of heartbreak. You’ve played it cool around Tomura, razzing him over the restaurant he picked, offering to let him borrow your hair products if he wants to do something special with it – except then he took you up on it, the bastard, and he left for his date smelling like your leave-in conditioner. Part of you is pleased by that, by the thought that his date might catch the scent and wonder if she really is the only one he’s into. The rest of you thinks about her getting close enough to smell his hair and decides to throw up about it.

You lock your jaw and swallow hard. As terrible as this is going to be, the only thing worse than them walking in on you in the midst of a single-woman cringefest is if they walk in on you throwing up. What’s taking them so long to walk in on you, anyway? Tomura’s still trying to unlock the fucking door. You picture his date pressed back against the door, the two of them unwilling to stop kissing long enough to get into the apartment, and a surge of disgust and anger and hurt hits you harder than the vodka did. Fuck this. You’ve had enough.

This time you’re more careful as you get off the couch, and you’re steady enough on your feet as you cross the room to the front door. Deadbolt off, latch turned, two seconds to brace yourself, and you wrench open the door. You’re expecting the two of them to fall over onto you, so wrapped up in each other that they barely notice the shift from vertical to horizontal. But you don’t see any cosplayer in the hallway, or smell anyone’s perfume. The only person there is Tomura, still dressed for his date, trying to unlock the door with the wrong key.

The two of you look at each other for a moment. You can’t speak for him, but your mind’s gone totally blank. Except for one thing. “That’s the laundry-room key. Not the apartment key.”

Tomura keeps staring at you for another few seconds, then looks down at the key like he’s never seen it before. “They look the same.”

“Yeah. And you’ve lived her for two years. When are you going to suck it up and label them?” Your frustration is starting to spill over, and it gets worse with every second Tomura spends looking at you. Why is he looking at you like that? Like he’s hurt – like you’re being mean to him for no reason, when you’re not even being that mean. You could be meaner. He’s the one who went out and got a hot date without even telling you, when – “Wait, what time is it?”

Tomura glances at his watch, then holds it out to show you. Seven-thirty. Huh. “You’re back early.”

“Yeah.” Tomura takes off his watch and drops it into his coat pocket. “Are you going to let me in or what?”

You stand aside, the wheels turning in your head with painful slowness. Tomura’s date was supposed to start at six. He’s back at seven-thirty. He’s back alone. That’s not what happens with a Valentine’s Day date where things go according to plan, and everything about the way Tomura’s acting right now says that things went off the rails. The last three days, you’ve been proceeding under the assumption that Tomura’s Valentine’s Day would be fuck-on-the-first-date good. It never crossed your mind that it might go badly.

“Are you going to close the door or just stand there like that all night?” Tomura sounds tired, but there’s an edge to his voice. “I guess I don’t have to ask what you’ve been doing. You can’t hold your liquor for shit.”

“And I guess since you’re back already, I don’t have to ask about how your date went,” you return fire without thinking. You shut the door, maybe harder than you meant to, and turn to face Tomura with your arms crossed over your chest, doing everything in your power not to cry. “Want to tell me about it?”

“Do you care?” Tomura picks up the vodka bottle, uncaps it, and takes a long sip. “I don’t think you give a shit.”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t,” you snap on autopilot, but the longer you think about it, the more confused you get. “What have I ever done to make you think I don’t care about you?”

Tomura doesn’t answer. He’s too busy drinking half your vodka in a single swallow, unnerving you even more. “Hey. Stop. Whatever happened on your date, it’s not worth a hangover. I’ll help you, but –”

“Don’t worry about that. You’re off the hook.”

“What?” You’ve always helped Tomura with hangovers, way before you started sleeping together. His body reacts to alcohol like it’s actual poison, and there’s no point since you met him that you’ve ignored him when he needs help. “I’m not on the hook, Tomura. I do that stuff because I want to.”

“So stop wanting to,” Tomura says, but at least he puts the bottle down. “It shouldn’t be that hard for you. You’re good at not doing things you don’t want.”

“What are you talking about?” You can’t wrap your head around it. Tomura’s pissed at you. He’s the one who went on the date. Even if it didn’t go well, he still went on the date, so where does he get off being mad at you? “If you’re going to do this, say what you mean. It’ll be a lot faster, and after what you put me through –”

“What I put you through?” Tomura’s laughter goes jagged. “What do you tell your friends about me?”

“Nothing –”

“Right. Because it’s casual,” Tomura sneers. You’d believe it a lot more if you didn’t see his shoulders go tense, see the tendons in his neck stand out, hear the catch in his breathing. “Because I’m just some loser who’s still hanging around.”

“Because I don’t want to hear them tell me it’s a bad idea!” Your voice pitches upwards, fraying at the edges in a way you hate. “I don’t want to let them take something that makes me happy and ruin it. But maybe I should have, because I hate that I let this drag on so long, and if they’d told me it was a bad idea and I’d listened, then I wouldn’t be –”

“If it’s such a bad idea, then –”

All at once you’re fed up with this. Tired of pretending it’s fine. Tired of listening to him tear into you over something that isn’t even close to true. “I wouldn’t be losing my shit because you went out with someone else on fucking Valentine’s Day!”

Tomura blinks. “What?”

“You heard me.” You can’t look at him right now. You slump back against the door, your arms crossed over your chest, eyes averted. “Don’t come after me when you’re the one being casual. I’m not the one who went out and got a hot date.”

“That’s what you’re mad about?” Tomura demands. You nod, your eyes stinging. “Were you ever going to say that?”

“And out myself as the one who caught feelings? Are you joking?”

“No!” Tomura explodes. You look at him and find him scratching at his neck, hard. “That’s what I wanted you to do!”

It’s your turn to stare blankly, and Tomura’s the one who can’t meet your gaze. He spins away from you, still scratching. “I haven’t slept in my own bed in a month and a half. I can’t fall asleep without you anymore. You make tea for me if you’re the one who wakes up first and I kiss you goodbye if I leave before you do and even the stuff I hate doing is fun if you’re doing it with me. Except it feels like that because I’m in love with you. And you’re only doing it to blow off steam.”

The stinging in your eyes hits fever pitch. You blink and tears slip down your cheeks. “Tomura –”

“I thought if I told you I had a date, you’d say something. So I’d know one way or the other.” Tomura’s scratching slows, from frantic scrabbles to hard digs. “But you acted like you didn’t care at all. So I went on the date and she could tell I wasn’t into it and she gave me a hard time for leading her on –”

You hated his date on principle up until a few seconds ago. Now you’re actually starting to feel bad for her. Being on the other end of Tomura’s disinterest feels awful. “If you liked me, why didn’t you just say it?”

“I didn’t want to out myself, either.”

You both caught feelings. Neither of you wanted to admit it, but now you both have, which would be really nice except for how you got here. “So we’ve been yelling at each other over nothing.”

“I guess.” Tomura’s hand slows still further, the scratches lightening again. “Now what?”

“Uh –” You try to think, but you’re coming up sort of empty. “We just ruined our first Valentine’s Day together. Should we have make-up sex or something?”

Tomura snorts. “There’s not anything to make up. We were both stupid and we both hurt each other. We’re even.”

“That’s not exactly a no on the make-up sex.” You lever yourself off the door and cross the room to him, reaching up to pull his hand away from the side of his neck. The first time you ever tried that, he got mad at you, but ever since he’s let you do it. He lets you do it today, and you kiss his hand. “I just want us to feel better. It doesn’t matter how we do it.”

Tomura’s fingers curl and uncurl, like he can’t decide whether he wants to hold on. “I said I love you. Do you love me, or did you just catch feelings?”

You had that one coming, probably. “I love you,” you admit, and his grip on your hand tightens. “I should probably have warned you before we started hooking up, but I’m kind of shit at this casual thing.”

“Same.” Tomura leans back against you ever so slightly and you plant your feet in a hurry. “What movie were you watching?”

“Something dumb. We can watch something else.”

“Yeah. When we get back.”

“When we get back?” you ask. “From where?”

“It’s still Valentine’s Day,” Tomura says. “And you’re my girlfriend, so I should probably take you out.”

You’re his girlfriend. You’ve never had a shorter define-the-relationship talk in your life, and part of you can’t think past what a relief it is. But you and Tomura have never gone out, anywhere – whatever’s going on with you has stayed here in your apartment, barely even referenced when you’re outside of it. And you’re not exactly at your best. “I’m in my pajamas,” you start, only to realize how dumb it sounds. “I can change. It won’t take long, and I’ll be ready to go.”

Tomura’s grip on your hand tightens for a brief second before he lets you go. “Wait here.”

He disappears into his room, and you take the opportunity to cap the bottle of vodka and wipe your eyes. You never really got into it with the crying, and you can feel it lurking somewhere in the background, ready to ambush you when you least expect it. It’s been a hard night. Maybe it’s okay if you cry a little bit. Crying in front of your roommate-with-benefits is one thing. It’s probably okay to cry in front of your boyfriend.

The door to Tomura’s room opens. “Okay,” Tomura says, and your jaw drops at the sight of him. “Now we can go.”

You didn’t think much about what he was doing in there, but you assumed he was changing out of his fancy date clothes into something more casual. But Tomura’s skipped straight over casual. He’s wearing pajama pants and the League of Legends hoodie you got him for his birthday last year, and you can see the hem of a comically oversized t-shirt sticking out beneath it. As you watch in shock, he tucks his keys and his phone into the front pocket of the hoodie and heads for the door. “Are you coming?”

“Um, yes.” You find your own phone and wallet, detouring to your room to grab a sweater. “Tomura –”

“You look good like that,” Tomura says. He looks you up and down in a way that makes you think that make-up sex might not be entirely off the table. “I was just getting on your level. Where do you want to go?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit. “Let’s figure it out on the way.”

There are other things to figure out on the way, too. Like whose room is going to be your room together, and what you’re going to do with the other one. Like what you’re going to tell your friends, or how Tomura’s going to explain blowing his date with an objectively hot cosplayer so he can go out with you. Like holding hands – which way you like better, and how tight is too tight to hold on, and how fast is it acceptable to grab each other’s hands back after you have to let go.

“This is what got me in trouble,” Tomura says, inspecting your laced fingers as the two of you wait for the train. “Holding hands.”

“How did it get you in trouble?” you ask. “We never really do that at home, except –”

You trail off, your face flushing, and Tomura elaborates. “It was like the third time we hooked up or something. You probably don’t remember.”

You do. It was the fourth time you hooked up, the first time it was spontaneous instead of planned, and you were blowing him on the couch, whichever movie you’d been watching completely forgotten. Tomura was being himself about it, twitching and squirming and making all kinds of pretty sounds that he kept trying to hide, and you glanced sideways at one point and saw his hand, scrabbling desperately at the couch cushions. You had a free hand, so you reached out and held it. You remember being startled at how tightly Tomura held on, surprised at how quickly he stopped trying to be quiet, and when you finally drew back, you were surprised again at how reluctant he was to let you go.

It was weird, but you wrote it off, until the next time you hooked up with him and he went for your hand while he was eating you out. Then it was your turn to hold on too tight.

“I was probably reading into it,” Tomura continues, snapping you out of a set of memories that you’d really rather not be wandering through on a train, “but you doing that – it didn’t seem all that casual to me.”

“Maybe it was never that casual,” you admit. You don’t think you’d have started hooking up with him in the first place if you hadn’t already liked him at least a little bit. “I think I’ll be fine if I never hear the word ‘casual’ again.”

“Casual.”

“Shut up.”

“Casual,” Tomura says again, and you nudge him with your shoulder a little harder than necessary. You’d elbow him, but you’d have to let go of his hand. “We’re going out on Valentine’s Day. Is it casual now?”

He’s joking – mostly. You can tell by the way his grip on your hand tightens, the way his red eyes search your face with a little more urgency than before. “No,” you say, and you kiss him, feeling his lips curve into a smile against yours. “It’s not casual at all.”

#asks #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura x you #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x you #x reader #reader insert #man door hand hook car door #a bisquared production

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ruby-red-inky-blue · 8 days ago

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I went back to rewatch episode 9 after your brief comments on the “tea drama™️” yesterday because I didn’t pay much attention on the first time and I do agree that the way his waking up was filmed gives a very strong impression that he didn’t drink a simple tea. And all things considered, it would make sense she would want to make sure he wouldn’t wake up during the night to see her packing and recording the ~goodbye TikTok~, so of course there was something in the tea, I don’t think chamomile can make a PTSD light sleeper wake up disoriented.

My biggest grip is how the whole sequence was filmed in a very emotional manipulative way - for the audience - which made the it all feel cheap and cheesy. The other dramatic moments from the show all had a more “serious” aspect to it, I think.

Also I had to check again if Cassian made any promise to find her at some point, since people around here are so sure it would be the first thing he would do as soon as he came back from Scarif (delusional time, the guy is dead). I mean, he had time do to that before, right? It wouldn’t be hard to find her anyway, if he wanted. But he didn’t promise anything, she was the one to make the choice “for both of them” as she said herself.

And just to finish, one thing about their relationship that was always odd to me is how she is always the only one to say “romantic” things to him and not the other way around. Sure, people express their love in different manners and maybe he’s not the one for words anyway, but it just gave me the feeling that type of writing that is “men are too cool to say they love their partner” kind of thing. I guess the most romantic things he ever says to her was “I can’t lose you again” and “this is the most important thing for me. Us” which are… whatever. And well, I’m not rewatching the rest to check anyway. no time for more hetero-anormative cringefest

Just venting some of my main annoyances about the show and how they made him so male gaze-y, even in some small things. By the way, I really enjoy reading your analysis, they’re all very poignant :)

Their romance is so strangely written. Again, at times I was wondering if one writer was trying to strongly hint something that the next writer wasn't picking up on: In their Coruscant apartment, their relationship felt so perfunctory and joyless and almost claustrophobic to me. Excepting that one flirty scene where they're joking about Cassian bringing some of his Karl-Lagerfeld-esque alias into the bedroom (great scene on The Americans on all the ways that might end up fucked up for all parties involved btw, if anyone is looking for a show that actually goes into what being a spy does to you...), we don't see them enjoying being around each other once. Physically, maybe, like it's probably nice to sleep next to someone in the life they're living, but... I absolutely never got the sense they like each other as people, that they have things they admire about each other or enjoy about the other's personality etc. It feels so empty, so much so that I thought it was on purpose at first. Add to that that I thought it was weirdly filmed at times, too (grain of salt, I have not rewatched these scenes, and am not in a hurry to do so). The lighting was always cold and washed-out in that set, day or night, and the camera was often at really odd distances from them, like slightly closer or further away than is conventional, or we got odd over-the-shoulder shots in moments where I felt like romance conventions want you to be able to see both people in the shot etc.

And then the scene at the supermarket! Idk if I was just seeing it through a negative lense at that point, but that felt frightening to me. Like, if you watch the scene in isolation, it looks like someone's abusive marriage. The way he physically tries to stop her from entering the market, then agrees to let her go inside, then immediately changes his mind and gets all up in her shit telling her to leave, and giving the vendor murderous looks for talking to Bix, and she tries to defuse the situation with a joke or maybe give him a little "hey asshole, cut it out" nudge, and he's not giving her an inch, and the vendor awkwardly caught in the middle of all that... And this is yet another case of a bunch of male writers not catching the significance of a scene for a part of their audience. I don't think this was on purpose. I think they meant for us to think, oh, he's being a little much, he's very overprotective. But what I'm inferring from this scene is: this guy is trying extremely hard to control the situation and I don't know if he's above using violence to do it - including violence against his partner. I don't think that implication was supposed to be in there, it's just the all-male writer's room and a male director and honestly a middle-aged male actor performing it, but as a woman about Bix's age I'm watching this scene and thinking "girl, I don't know what this guy might end up doing to you".

This goes back to my little rant about the hangar speech. They really took the guy who defied his superiors, his orders and his whole coping mechanism/belief system to tell a woman that he's choosing to believe her and have her back... and not only negated the whole impact of that moment, because they failed to see the meaning inherent in that for a part of the real-life audience, but they. They fucking accidentally gave this man a whole arc of spousal abuse red flags.

But yeah, all that felt so strange and depressing and suffocating, and I did wonder at the time if the writer of that arc meant for that to be stifling and toxic - I honestly don't know where you would take the story from there, because if they'd just do the reasonable thing and break up over it, making them get together just be toxic for three episodes and then break up again would feel like even more of a massive waste of time for the audience than it did already. But it was so stark that I did wonder if it was on purpose, and the writer for the next arc either didn't pick up on it or chose to ignore it. Because the core of their relationship doesn't meaningfully change. It's less controlling because Bix has given up trying to go outside, but it still feels weirdly empty, even though they're now in their silly earth-coloured yurt (that does offer lovely lighting, but I do hate the whole idea of Cassian glamping off base while Mothma is eating breakfast with 20+ recruits at a table every morning apparently??). Bix talked a lot more about how great Cassian is (though only referencing things we have seen absolutely no proof of on screen at this point), but still doesn't say anything about why she likes him as a person. They do say a bunch of phrases to each other with some extremely nothing energy. And that's the other thing: I'm so sorry, when Diego Luna has chemistry with someone, that stuff is magnetic. But I have seen this man look at the camera in a beer commercial with 100 percent more spark than how he looks at Bix at any point in the season, or frankly the whole show. I don't know what happened here, but this man is dead behind the eyes in those scenes, and Adria Arjona only has her pretty and concerned look on the whole time (again, with the possible exception of their flirty roleplay exchange that lasted five seconds).

And the way he reacts to her leaving is honestly hilarious. He wakes up all hazy and lost, and finds her goddamn video (goodbye tiktok is hilarious btw). She says, babe, I'm leaving so you can be special, come back when you've won the war and maybe we'll talk! And he spends like twenty minutes trying to track her down, and is a little misty-eyed about it. We are told, though we never see it, that at this point this man is "a leader" and an extraordinary spy who's about to be promoted to pretty much the top of the career ladder, and we have seen that he goes rogue for shits and giggles all the time. You're telling me this guy couldn't find out where the Rebellion transport that left a few hours ago went to? You're telling me this guy couldn't track down his girlfriend whose every move he's been controlling for several years? What's holding him back? According to the show, it's not a lack of skills, nor a love for following the rules or a sense of duty to the Rebellion! And it can't be because she told him to win the war first - he hasn't conceded to anything she wanted to do without bitching and arguing this whole season. This is not a guy who treats his girlfriend like they're on equal footing! Why would he suddenly do what she tells him to do?

One can only infer that he kind of saw this coming, and isn't really trying to fight it. That's fine, again, their relationship seemed pretty awful to me. But I don't see what about that reaction screams "this man will go out of his way to find his girlfriend immediately after almost dying on some mission in the middle of the war". (Because why would he go after Scarif?? She said win the war. Scarif isn't the end of the war. If anything, it's the start of active warfare.)

And then, when Vel comes and tells him (for completely unclear reasons btw) that he should go find Bix again, he reacts with the most noncommittal "idk yeah maybe later not right now" type answer imaginable. Where is the man chomping at the bit to see his ex again? Is he in the room with us? Once again, Diego could not have seemed less enthused in this scene. Honestly, I don't know if outstanding acting could have saved this bizarre way to write a romance, but... we'll certainly never know. I've only seen Adria Arjona in two things that I can't say convinced me of her acting chops (this and, well, Morbius), and boy, Diego Luna can be incredible but I didn't see much of that in most of this season.

It's so funny to realise at the end of it all that Tony Gilroy thought he was delivering us a grand sweeping fated romance between two childhood sweethearts with a visible decade of age difference. Whereas I first saw something viscerally uncomfortable and actively scary, then the funniest, dumbest break-up I've seen on tv in a decade, and then another viscerally uncomfortable and actively scary moment when they show us the woman with a child in a war zone where she is an at-risk undocumented migrant with trauma and no support system, and the show is trying to frame this like a good thing for her dead ex-boyfriend. They really didn't just fail to deliver on what they thought they were making, but fucked it up six different ways in the process. Overall, this was a brutal wake-up call on how people like these writers and directors see relationships, and women in relationships, and the reaction to that is even more upsetting. A bunch of young women saw the same shit I just watched and are now insulting other people in real life while claiming that this really was the romance for the ages? Girls, I'm so scared for you. I don't know what the fuck this was, but it was neither compelling storytelling nor a representation of a relationship anyone should want to be in.

Anyway, sorry this turned into a whole 'nother rant. I'm glad you're getting something out of my ramblings, though! I don't know what I'm trying to do with them at this point. I guess I'm still deluding myself that I can find what the hell other people are seeing that I'm not if I just dig deep enough, but I only end up making myself mad over and over again...

#replies #andor critical #anonymous

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stargazinglesbian · 6 months ago

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gently showing off my self insert ive had in the back of mind since i first started reading pjo in like year 4 ( 〃．．)

*Scooches these towards new Pjo fans coming in from the show*Go wild little dudes

#wahoo!!!!#im so nervous when it comes to ocs for media or self inserts #like hellloooooo cringefest #but cringe is dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i love when ever people show off their s/i #so its time for me to do the same o7 #can always delete the rb if i get embarassed ig

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lavendergalactic · 1 year ago

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☆ 　froppy tumblr layouts!

day 4 of @luvistrz's event ! " a character that has the same zodiac as you " f2u w/ credit, reblog appreciated!

tsu is an aquarius! just like me! silly ramble + lilay lore drop under cut :3

lavender fun fact: i dont really understand zodiacs that much since i don't know how compatible someone is with me depending on where the earth was in space when we were shoved out a womb but it's always fun doing these little things

doing this made me miss my hero academia a little, yeah i was one of those mha fans.. but that was when i was 13-14 everyone is weird when they're 13-14

i actually got really famous on youtube (like 30k subscribers) making bnha gacha life vine videos. yeah. those are dark times we'd never talk about again. i still love my hero academia though, it's very nostalgic to me although i was a cringefest when i was into it

another lavender fun fact: my favourite character (she has always been my fav) is uraraka! my first ever cosplay was uraraka, i still own the wig and cosplay her, i think i look pretty in uraraka

#☆ ◟ my edits !#valley 🐝#tsuyu asui #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #froppy #tumblr layouts #tumblr headers #tumblr icons #pfps #avatars #banners #tumblr stuff #layouts

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olderthannetfic · 8 months ago

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the soul shattering knowledge that your fav is absolutely a whole cringefest himself. like he is so beautiful, so complexe, so hurt. and also unbearably cringe. he has the edge of a 13 year old gamer and the vocabulary of a self-important 60 year old boomer. I love him but I can't defend him

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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year ago

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How do you think konig would feel with a partner who loves when he speaks german? Like might even ask him to do it in bed just cuz it gets her feeling some type of way. (German just sounds so good to me don't ask me why😭)

I see him going over the top with it because he's so happy about it + he doesn't understand the meaning of "less is more". Just doesn't know how to dose it, and it's hot at first, cute after a while, but then he starts to sound like he's getting off on it even more than you do :( Starts to lose his breath and grit his teeth, goes on and on about what his 'Schwanz' will do to your 'Muschi', even baby talks to you in German while you're out in public. It's a cringefest with König, don't do it.

#just don't!!

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3liza · 1 year ago

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The poster is the worst advertising for what the film actually turns out to be. You think you're getting into another screwball millennial cringefest and it's actually a deep-blue chiaroscuro of neuroses. I really thought I would not be surprised by the depths of male anxiety and weirdness going into a movie about sperm donation, because the topic itself is so trammeled at this point and so obvious that you assume you already know everything such a documentary could teach you, but I got my tits blown clean off.

No one does anything BAD, it's not that kind of film, it's simply a silent and eerie observation of people acting completely independently to either provide or acquire human semen. Necessarily, the receivers in this setup are all buying the same product for the same purpose: they want to conceive a baby and don't have access to the missing gamete for some reason and don't have the extortionate amount of money required to go the official route through a sperm bank. The providers are all doing it for completely different reasons, and all of the reasons besides "making a bit of extra cash" are in fact weird, no matter how stubbornly some of the reviewers here insist the motives of the donors are simply "to help people out :)". Sperm is just the kind of thing you really don't want to get from a stranger unless money is exchanging hands, so by this property the male subjects in the film become perfect documentary protagonists: profoundly damaged, bizarre, or obsessive in ways that stand up to steady, direct observation.

I'm not judging anyone here, by the way. I guess if you have a lot of money to throw around you probably would waste it on genetically profiling strangers in a lookbook in a nice office in order to breed your ubermensch or whatever. I'm being nasty, there are lots of good reasons to want to anonymize, institutionalize and vet sperm donors, it's just that the idea is ludicrous on its face because this is a substance people never ever stop trying to push on you for free, or pay you money to take off their hands. Epigenetics and environmental factors being what they are, I question the utility of "genetic testing" beyond a certain point anyway. No one is being exploited or misled. The people who want babies can conceive and it doesn't really matter in the big picture whether the donors are doing it for "the right reasons" or not.

There are some more esoteric ethical considerations here that aren't addressed at all, which is probably for the best in consideration for the pacing of the film, but I could have used at least one interview with a genetics expert who winced at hearing some of these donors have 100+ sperm babies because of the very real possibility of creating future half-sibling incest crises unawares, a problem that real sperm banks and actual legislation have to grapple with. You get one good-looking Norwegian brain surgeon on the books at a sperm bank and you get a line out the door of people with too much money who know what being 6' tall and blue-eyed and symmetrical is worth down to fractional shares and have already put a down payment on the local private montessouri pre-K prep program. Genetic Sexual Attraction or GSA for short is a documented (and controversial) phenomenon that causes a lot of high-profile scandals when long-lost siblings or birth parents are reunited with a child who was the subject of a closed adoption, fall in love with them, and reenact various historical and mythological tragedies. That thing where you tend to find your blood relatives sexually repulsive or at least uninteresting is a way that social animals avoid getting into failure spirals of incest and birth defects, but humans have a tendency to be attracted to people who resemble themselves physically and personality-wise, so meeting a sibling or parent you didn't grow up with can sometimes short-circuit the incest-avoidance failsafes and create instantaneous, passionate obsession. That's what people who are involved in cases of GSA report, anyway. Half-sibling pairings aren't quite as bad in terms of the mutation issues, but it is definitely not good for the health of the resulting offspring or the mental health of the related parents. These lone gunmen fathering dozens of children in the same school district are potentially creating serious problems down the line.

The cinematography is breathtaking. It's truly a phenomenal film from any angle.

My mother is a family lawyer by the way, if you ever find yourself in this situation (for example you are someone's friend and they ask you to be a donor) you need to make sure you have an IRON CLAD contract checked by an actual lawyer and probably notarized that you are absolved of all parental rights and obligations irreversibly, or you WILL eventually find yourself in the position one donor did at the end of the film: suddenly being the sole custodian of a little girl named "Italeigh". Family law is not like any other field of law in the USA, the judges in family court care about one thing only and that's Who Is Gonna Pay for This Damn Kid. Which is correct, and I'm not saying family court is always fair or that the judges make the right decisions all the time, but a proper family court judge will walk to Hell to bring the devil in for a wage garnishment and you need to be aware of that. Legally you are someone's dad until another dad legally enters the picture and supplants you (for example a stepfather officially adopting a child) or you have irrefutable paperwork saying you're excused. By the way, legal status pre-empts biological status. The guy who is married to the person who gives birth is legally on the hook for child support and caretaking of any child produced during the union unless there's a paternity suit and a bunch of rigamarole. This may appear unfair to the casual observer but family law is designed to prioritize the survival and wellbeing of the child above the rights of the parents and potential parents. So a freelance sperm donor without REALLY good paperwork is on the hook, absolutely.

#movie reviews #spermworld #blog

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