#i love chris for shedding light on this very important matter

[tomscottsredshirt]

well now im insanely curious about the hypothetical tscott pegging admission

chris HEAVILY implies it in this video (between 0:08 and 0:30) and tom doesn't even explicitly deny it. I AGVE BEEN GOING INSANE ABOUT THIS FOR SEVERAL DAYS NOW

[troubatrain]

sober - m. barzal (pt. two)

a/n: part two every body give it up for reposting part two!!

One - Three

The sounds of skates on the ice at the Rangers practice facility were becoming almost therapeutic at this point, you close your eyes basking in it for a moment while you edited a video from a charity event the team hosted the week before. You had a makeshift desk in the hallway that led to the locker, trying to get as much work as you could none so you could try and wipe your memory of everything that had to do with Mat Barzal. You knew you shouldn’t have let him win, because men that smug don’t need an ego boost, but you did. Mika’s voice on the other side of that bathroom door was the wake up call you desperately needed. Mat Barzal was a gigantic mistake, and you had to just forget he ever existed. But, his contact was burning in your phone, Mat with a blue and orange heart just to piss you off a little bit more.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Chris huffs out, his large frame towering over you and leaning on your desk. His eyebrows were furrowed, he’d seen right through, something was off.

“Nothing Kreids,” You roll your eyes, trying to cover up the fact that you were thinking about Mat’s mouth on your pussy in that bar bathroom, “Seriously, I’ll get over it.”

“This is about a guy isn’t it?” Chris questions, grabbing the chair across from you and sitting in it, “Spill.”

“I’m not diving into my dating life with you,” You snap back, catching yourself before your tone gets too harsh. It wasn’t that Chris wasn’t your friend, because he was, it was that you didn’t want to get caught gossiping when you were supposed to be working. Charlotte would have your head on a stick, and everything you’d been working for since you got the job would just be for nothing, “I’m fine seriously, I have a date tonight.”

You did. The night after you last saw Mat, you’d gotten bored enough to open up Tinder on your phone. A couple of swipes later, you had a date with some finance bro from Murray Hill you weren’t going to call the next day. If you wanted to get over somebody, you were just going to have to get under somebody else. Plus, in a city this big, the odds you’d ever run into Mat again were probably slim.

“Like a real date or a rebound date?” Chris asks, a humorous tone to his voice. Chris was a romantic, but you knew Chris Kreider’s were few and far between. So while you were young, you decided that it didn’t matter if you fell in love, you could do that later. For now, you were going to work hard and play harder. 

“A rebound date,” You smirk, watching Chris roll his eyes at you, “Don’t slut shame me Chris or I will-”

“I didn’t even say anything,” Chris defends throwing his hands up before you really got into it, “Just call me if he’s a creep or something, please.”

“Okay dad,” You snort, laughing and directing your attention back to the video you were supposed to be editing.

***

Maybe you should have listened to Chris. The man sitting in front of you did nothing besides talk about himself, his job, and he was unbelievably rude to your waiter. You should expect this, as if some random dude you met off Tinder would be some sort of gentleman but you thought maybe, just maybe, you’d be wrong. Unfortunately for you, you were just reminded of one thing - men are trash.

“So what do you do?” Chad asks, which could very possibly actually be his name but you’d forgotten while you were trying to block this entire night from your memory.

“Oh, I work for the Rangers,” You shrug, it wasn’t that you weren’t proud of your job. But the questions that came after were always the same, and if you were right, Chad would have the same answer.

“They must love having a pretty little thing like you around,” The words were sleazy, and they left the same icky feeling in your stomach that they always did. You didn’t want to be some pretty little thing that was around for someone’s amusement. You were an adult who had a pretty important job and you liked to be respected and in the little bubble you lived in at MSG, you were. But, no one outside of 8th and 33rd seemed to agree.

That was the moment when you realized someone’s eyes had been on you the whole time, stopping you from chewing out your date in the middle of the restaurant. Mat Barzal was seated across the restaurant, a girl who looked like a supermodel in front of him. You roll at your eyes at his cocky smile, the girl paying no mind that he wasn’t even listening to her. You pull your phone, letting Chad ramble on about how nice your gig with the Rangers must be.

stop staring at me barz

i can’t when you look like that angel

pretty sure the girl in front of you should keep you busy

pretty sure the guy in front of you is a douche, sneak out of here in 5?

in your dreams

i’ve had dreams about you, they’re pretty fucking filthy though

You stop, rubbing your thighs together subconsciously. You were on this date to forget Mat ever existed and going home with him would be an enormous mistake. One more time couldn’t hurt? Right?

call the uber loser

You watched Mat’s face light up, practically slamming cash down and saying goodbye to his date, before he skipped out of the restaurant. You shake your head at his obviousness, excusing yourself to go use the restroom and thanking whatever higher power that it was close to the exit. The second you stepped out, you could feel an arm wrap itself around you - pulling you into a broad chest.

“I like this little game we’re playing,” Mat smirks, pecking your lips while you wait for a car to pull up. You raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for an explanation, “You know, where you pretend to hate me because we’re supposed to but in reality you can’t stay away - you know how these movies end.”

“I can go back inside,” You threaten, pointing to your date who is still sitting at the table.

“Why? So you can hang out with some dude who you know can’t get you off like I can,” Mat scoffs, his ego getting bigger by the second.

“Maybe I’ll just steal your date,” You smirk, taking notice of the way Mat’s face lit up, “You’re a pig.”

“You’re not a ray of fucking sunshine either you know,” Mat scoffs.

“Your ego’s huge, I’m just keeping you humble,” You tease, pushing his arm off of you, he didn’t get to claim you like that.

“It’s not going to humble me when you’re at my apartment screaming my name,” Mat smirks, and you roll your eyes.

***

Mat’s apartment was a vague memory from the night you had spent. But, you remembered enough to point out every reason why you hated it. It was a bachelor’s apartment, filled with overpriced dark furniture that you know someone else picked out - or even worse, it came with the apartment. The view was immaculate, the floor to ceiling windows lived in the dreams of your own ideal place. The decor was typical, a few jerseys framed on the walls that you most definitely should have noticed when you left his place.

“You can say you hate it,” Mat chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist while you continued to take in the apartment, “I’m sure it’s not up to your standards.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, biting your lip to suppress the moan that was trying to escape with Mat was nibbling at your ear lightly.

“It means you know you’re better than me,” Mat whispers, “But I know there’s one thing I’m better at than you and that’s why you’re here. I can fucking ruin you.”

“Mat,” You sigh, elbowing him in the stomach while he smirked against your neck, “I’ll ruin you first.”

Mat let out a dramatic groan, “You’re such a brat.”

Before you could defend yourself and chirp him back, Mat had his large hands on your thighs while he carried you into his bedroom, dropping you on the bed. His mouth was sucking at your neck, and you knew you were going to have to invest in a new concealer if you kept this up. Well, at least he finally shut up-

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Mat whispers, his hands exploring your body, “You going to remember it this time?”

“Shut up,” You whimper, trying to let out how good Mat’s hands under your shirt actually felt. They were huge, and the rough skin against yours made your pussy flutter. Mat unclasped your bra, smirking to himself when he got it on the first try, “I’m sure you’ve had plenty of practice.”

“I have that’s why I know I’m good,” Mat smirks, climbing down your body while you shed your clothes. Mat slips his finger under your jeans, pulling your panties off in one swift motion, “Fuck, I think you know it too. Are you this wet for little old me?”

You didn’t have words for his stupidity, instead you kicked his back with the heel of your foot. You heard Mat’s laugh while he pressed open mouthed kisses to the inside of your thighs, “You’d be a lot cuter if you were nicer.”

“You’d be a lot cuter if you didn’t laugh like a hyena but here we are,” You chirped, sighing when you feel Mat’s finger slid up your folds.

Mat Barzal’s oral game was, in all honesty, immaculate. Were you going to let him know that? Absolutely not. Were you going to let him milk for every orgasm you had left? You might.

“Mat, fuck,” You let out a breathy moan, a real one trying to escape you. Mat had made you cum twice already, and his mouth was well on his way to a third before his dick even touched you.

“Let me hear you Y/N,” Mat halts his movements, curling his fingers to see if he could just get it out of you.

“Faster,” You moan out, your hips lifting to try and get his fingers to start moving again. Mat smirks, finally satisfied before his tongue swirled your clit to send you over the edge. Mat finally pulled away, wiping the sides of his mouth that were glistening from you.

“Ready for me?” Mat asks, a smug smile on his face. You nod, watching while he reached over into his nightstand to grab a condom.

“That box is awfully big,” You joke, not able to stop yourself from making fun of Mat. In reality, he probably wasn’t any better than you were, but that didn’t mean for a second you didn’t think he needed to be knocked down a few pegs.

Now, it was Mat’s turn to roll his eyes, “Because you’re such an angel.”

“I’m not, I’m the devil,” You smile, biting your lip while you watched Mat roll the condom over his cock. This part you may have remembered vaguely, but you didn’t remember how big it really was.

“Tell me if I’m being too rough,” Mat groans, entering you slowly so you could adjust to him. At least he isn’t a total douche.

“I thought you were going to ruin me Barz,” You tease, “I’m sure you know better than to talk a big game and not deliver.”

Mat’s eyes went a shade darker, a smirk on his face while he snapped his hips back and slammed back into you, causing you to let out a moan that was so loud you were positive his neighbors heard. His pace kept up, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours filled the room. You grab into any skin you could find while Mat continued to pound into you, your legs practically shaking from the feeling. Your nails dug into his skin, only boosting Mat’s confidence that he was good.

Mat gave you one more orgasm before he finally let himself go, his hips stuttering and a string of curse escaping his mouth. He stayed for a minute, trying to let you both bring yourselves down before he finally slipped out of you.

“You can stay if you can’t walk,” Mat jokes, his nude frame walking back into his room with a warm towel to clean you up. You didn’t peg him as much of an aftercare guy, especially for someone who probably got laid more than the average person.

“I’ll crawl back to Manhattan before I sleep in this bed with you,” You say while you pull yourself up from the bed. You gather your clothes, getting dressed while Mat watches you from his bed.

“So…” Mat starts, his hands behind his head in a way that was just so masculine you didn’t know if you wanted to go another round or punch him square in the face, “Did I make the team?”

“We can’t do this again,” You say, trying your hardest to keep your cool. If you were being honest, you probably would have done it again.

“We can,” Mat suggests wiggling his eyebrows, “It’ll be our dirty little secret, that’s hot.”

“Barz...”

“Y/N...”

“I’ll call you.”

“So I made the cut?”

[elffees]

i was reading @seafrost-fangirl ’s post and they brought up a really interesting point about u*til dawn’s plot twist(s) versus MoM and LH’s that made me realize more about why the anthology games havent had the same impact on me like UD did.

UD’s plot twist(s) were more remarkable imo bc 1) there were several that all tied together excellently and 2) the supernatural plot twist was one you expected, but then the game made you let your guard down, and then brought it back with a vengeance.

rest of the post is linked under the cut because i talk a lot lol

1) the storylines in UD were all tied together

imo this is what made them all the more satisfying and why people loved them so much. each plot twist was connected. josh only became a “killer clown” and pulled that whole scheme bc of his sisters’ death. hannah only became a w*****o bc beth died and she was trapped and her sister’s body was the only source of food she had. flamethrower guy was only so present and around the group a lot bc he was trying to protect them and keep w*****o!hannah and the others at bay.

the josh storyline would not have existed without hannah and beth’s death/cannibalism. hannah turning into the head w*****o would also not have existed had beth not died. and the flamethrower guy storyline would not have existed without w*****os and the group making themselves vulnerable by returning. which they only did so because josh asked them too bc of his plan. the storylines all relied on each other. that made them more satisfying. the parallel storylines ended up blending into one.

when it comes to the anthology games however, their twists and storylines exist separately and/or just aren’t as connected. the MoM crew didn’t need to be on the boat for the gas/hallucination storyline to exist. it already did. they simply walked into it and even at the end their presence did nothing since they just leave afterwards. they didn’t stop the gas or try to destroy the boat or really anything. they went on the boat, went “wow is this boat fucked up or what lol”, and then they left. the end. they didn’t change anything about the boat storyline itself and their presence had absolutely no impact on it. in UD, the characters blow all the w*****os up in the house. whether you believe that’s good or not, at least it still had an affect on the w*****o storyline.

in LH, it’s harder to explain. yes everything was happening in anthony’s head, so essentially none of it would’ve existed without him. but at the same time, that’s one of the biggest issues i had with it. the storylines don’t actually exist. the puritan subplot is make believe. anything you say or do to those people doesn’t matter at all, except for that one choice at the very end where you tell abraham what to do about mary and the reverend. other than that? you can do or say absolutely anything to the puritans and none of it matters or is important in the slightest. the connection once again feels flimsy at best because you’re essentially talking to a brick wall until the last 2 choices.

this is significant because, in u*til dawn, choices you made and the actions the characters defaultly did affected ALL storylines. mike and chris lock josh in the shed bc, due to his killer clown prank, they believe he’s too dangerous to let stay in the house. locking him outside tho is what causes him to be captured by hannah. they did not MEAN to leave him outside as bait, but that’s just what happened bc the storylines were connecting. when chris & ashley are handcuffed to chairs and you the player have to decide who to shoot, if you choose to “shoot” ashley, later on when chris is being chased by the w*****o, she will refuse to let him in and he will die. the storylines constantly, constantly connect and what you did in regards to one heavily affected the other. LH did not do that until those 2 abraham dialogue choices at the last minute.

2) the supernatural plot twist was one you expected but then didn’t and then when it actually happened you were still very much surprised and thats another reason why it hit as good as it did

the w*****o plot twist was an incredible shock bc when it finally came to light, you the player had already let your guard down when it happened. when josh takes his mask off, it’s either a huge surprise or a “i fucking knew it!!” satisfying validation. there was no danger, josh was just being the biggest asshole in existence. there wasn’t a serial killer murdering off the group. it was just josh. you knew there was gonna be a twist SOMEHOW and the josh reveal had to be it? right? but then you pause and wonder, then what the heck is down there in the mines with emily? well most of the danger is over now anyways since josh came clean...... right?

and then the w*****os come and are a punch in the face. you had an inkling something else was going on, but you did not know how ugly and groteseque they would look and you did not know how dangerous they would be. dont move. the most terrifying mechanic the game told you about and now you have to do it perfectly, several times, or else people WILL die. it makes you, the player, freeze and hold your breath alongside the characters. the gameplay itself causes you to freeze in terror, or else.

and the plot twist still doesn’t end after that. not only did the danger return in full force chasing your characters down at horrifying speed, but the danger is josh’s fucking sister and the girl the group has been in mourning over for an entire year. the big bad is a loved one.

in MoM and in LH, once you understand the plot twist...... that’s it. there IS no other one. once the characters in MoM realize that it’s just a gas...... decisions are easy after that. just don’t attack any of the hallucinations and well.... yeah. that’s it. there is no other relevant plot twist. the only “other one” that you might include would be that the military people the group calls for help actually ends up shooting them if they’re still on the boat when they get there. but at the same time that can be avoided entirely if you just get them out before then.

in LH, the plot twist is just that anthony made it all up. there are no demons or supernatural things going on. vince really is just a regular guy. little hope is just a regular town.... that’s it. the big twist is that there is no twist. it’s normal. it’s mundane. you went in expecting something....... not necessarily big but something significant. and the twist is that it’s not. for the lack of a better word, it’s literally a let down.

so yeah. this was my thoughts after finishing the games and reading seafrost-fangirl’s post linked above where they also compared the twists in UD and the anthology games. for DAYS i’ve been trying to wrap my head around why the anthology games didn’t hit me the way UD did and their post definitely helped me realize, or at least guess closer, as to why.

(also before someone says “but little hope DID have smthg supernatural going on!! there’s still more to the mystery!!!” bc of the demon with megan. i already talked about my theory that yeahhhh no. there wasn’t a demon at all. the demon standing at meg’s side was also just a figment of anthony’s imagination. i explain more in the post.)

[ayma-nidiot]

In the White Light - Prideshipping Chapter 15

Also on AO3.

Author’s note: From here on out, there will be small bits of Shrimpshipping, especially since I believe Rex and Weevil deserved so much better in the anime. So I apologize to those of you who don’t ship it. I promise that the overall fanfic and remaining chapters will primarily be Prideshipping still, and the Shrimpshipping will be relatively minimal.

Chapter 15 – For Sure This Time

When Yami Yugi and Kaiba nearly made it to ground level, the pharaoh noticed a giant portal open up on Atlantis, which Joey had no problem passing through. Before Yugi could do the same, Yami shouted, “Yugi, wait! Don’t go yet!”

“Pharaoh!” Yugi noticed a weak Kaiba before he saw the pharaoh. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Dammit, pharaoh, you made me hold on for nothing,” Kaiba groaned, weakened by the battle and the thin air, as he changed back into a human. He would have landed on top of Yugi, too, had Yami Yugi not caught him.

“What happened up there?” Yugi asked.

Not bothering to get up from his prone position, Kaiba replied, “I think I fought too hard… again. It took all I had in me to fight Leviathan’s seal on my powers.”

“I see… But then why do we need to stay, pharaoh?”

Yami Yugi pointed to a man hobbling towards them. “That’s why.”

“Sorry, did you think I was dead?” Dartz laughed while he held onto his injured right arm, and Leviathan once again appeared.

Yami Yugi gave Kaiba a pained look. “Kaiba, get out of here! This battle is for me and Yugi to fight.”

“Ngh…” Kaiba could only crawl an inch before his back radiated in pain. “I… can’t… And even if I could, I’m not leaving you, not during your most important battle yet.”

“Luckily for you, pharaoh, I no longer have any interest in your boyfriend,” Dartz spoke while Leviathan reared his spiky head. “Your soul is so dark, so full of hatred and evil, that it is the only one I need!”

“That’s not true!” Yugi interjected.

“Oh? You have something to say, you insignificant runt?”

“He’s beaten the darkness in his second duel against Rafael!”

“Hmm, you just gave me an idea…” Dartz cackled again, motioning for Leviathan to attack Yami Yugi.

“Aaaaargh!” Yami Yugi could feel the remnants of Leviathan attempt to tear at his soul. Too tired to stand anymore, he fell to his knees.

“If he’s really beaten the darkness as you say, then he’ll be able to resist the great beast! But if not, his soul will be no more, and Leviathan will have all the power he’ll ever need!”

“Ngh…” Yami Yugi managed to very slowly get up again.

“It’s futile, you know. You’re just prolonging your suffering, pharaoh. But if you give in, I can assure you it will be over soon enough!”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had to face my own darkness.” Yami Yugi looked back to Yugi. “Even before my friends and I had to endure your war, we fought together at Duelist Kingdom. Just when I felt ready to give up… Just when Pegasus had my soul on the brink… It was my friends who saved me. See, Dartz? This is why you can never beat me. You don’t have the love and support of friendship.”

Dartz winced as Leviathan’s influence over Yami Yugi grew weaker. “Y-You think your friendship speeches will work on me?”

Yami Yugi fully stood up now, and the Millennium Puzzle began to glow. “They can… and they will.”

“Don’t tell me… You’re going to use the forbidden magic?”

“Etirihc irakih ukaway, uohsius ustihies uatu!”

Yami Yugi’s dreamy baritone voice echoed far enough for Mokuba and the others to hear from ground level. “What a beautiful voice… Could it be the pharaoh?”

“It’s working!” Yugi spoke with hope in his voice. “…Whatever it is. But what’s happening to Dartz?”

“Uwaaaaa!” Despite how Leviathan quickly began to fade, Dartz apparently looked healthy.

Yami Yugi had finished the Incantation at last. Having spent most of his energy, he fell to the floor and now sat on his feet.

Incidentally, Kaiba felt so refreshed after the song that he could get up again. He decided to direct his newfound energy towards Dartz. “Dartz… You’ll pay, you bas-”

Yugi pulled on Kaiba’s coat. “No, Kaiba, look at him!”

With a perplexed look and two golden eyes, Dartz looked at the short high school student. “What… What is going on?”

Even Kaiba could tell that Dartz’s personality had done a complete 180˚. He looked down to Yami Yugi and asked, “Pharaoh, what did you do?”

“Ngh…” Yami Yugi braced himself against a nearby boulder to sit up straight. “I used the power of the Pharaoh’s Incantation – and my friendship – to free Dartz of Leviathan’s influence.”

“So… A friendship speech saved the day.” Kaiba rolled his eyes.

“Indeed it did!” exclaimed a happy girl’s voice from behind Dartz.

Dartz couldn’t be more delighted to see the familiar faces he thought had abandoned him. “Chris! Father! What are you doing here?”

“Is there something wrong when a daughter misses her dad?” Chris frowned.

“Dartz… Come back,” Ironheart, Dartz’s father, requested. “Atlantis still needs you.”

“No, Father. Not after all I’ve done… I’ve caused my people undue suffering.”

“It was the Orichalcos’ fault, not yours, Dad! Now that it’s gone, everyone really misses you! Especially me.”

“So… this must be what the power of friendship is like.” Dartz shed happy tears when he looked to the chosen duelists again. “Thank you, pharaoh, for getting rid of the evil influence that drove me mad. Now before this city descends into the sea again, I suggest that the three of you make yourselves scarce.”

“Goodbye, pharaoh, and thank you!” Ironheart spoke as the images of himself, Chris, and Dartz began to fade. “Perhaps we may meet again.”

“Up you get, babe.” Kaiba, with Yugi’s help, got Yami Yugi back on his feet, though the pharaoh still felt weak. “Now that that stupid Leviathan is no more, you can rest after all you’ve done today. Then we can duel again.”

“Oh come on, Kaiba, is that all you ever think about?” Yugi whined.

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Wow, at least you’re honest.”

The three finally reached the portal and now stepped into it. “I just might start planning another tournament.”

“Hehehe… Hopefully Rex and Weevil won’t rig it like they nearly did in Battle City.”

Almost as if by chance, the two short duelists had just woken up in the hospital room they shared. No longer were there monsters in Domino City; nevertheless, construction crews didn’t waste any time in working to fix the immense damage.

“Ugh… Where am I?” Rex spoke, closing his eyes halfway at the bright sunlight.

“I dunno, where do you think, dino brain?” Weevil sat up. “This is a hospital room! And in case you forgot, we ended up here because you failed to defeat Joey!”

“What do you mean, I failed? You failed because you still couldn’t beat Yugi in a duel!”

“…” Weevil had no comeback for that.

“And what I’d like to know is, how did we end up in the same room together?”

Weevil’s devilish demeanour dropped for a spell as he looked away. “How the hell should I know?”

To Weevil’s dismay, Rex had noticed this change in behaviour. “Weevil? You’re acting weird. I mean, more than usual.”

Weevil broke the tension with, “A-Anyway, I think I want to give that stupid Yugi a piece of my mind!”

As Weevil jumped out of bed, Rex soon followed. “Now we’re talking! This time… This time for sure, I’m going to beat Joey!”

“Now let’s blow this taco stand and get our revenge. For sure this time!”

While the pair headed into the heart of the city, so too did Kaiba and the companions he did not yet want to call friends. Still reeling from the epic battle with Leviathan, Kaiba had no desire to fly and instead ordered Roland to fly them around in the chopper.

“Mr. Kaiba, we’ve searched all of Domino City and still haven’t found Yugi Muto,” Roland spoke over the intercom. “It’s possible that he could have moved.”

“Or worse…” Duke thought out loud. “He might have drowned!”

“Ugh, stop being a negative Nancy all the time!” Tristan scolded. “It’s good to have some positivity every now and then. Why don’t you try it?”

“Um, guys?” Téa tried to alert her friends to the lone figure who stood on the beach, staring into the sunset.

“It’s called being a realist.” Duke tried to resist the noogies Tristan gave him. “Why don’t you try that?”

“Guys!” Téa’s shout silenced everyone. “It’s Yugi!”

“Huh?” Joey glued his face to the window to get a closer look. “You sure about that? If so, then he’s a little taller than I remember.”

Hearing this, Kaiba stopped nodding off and also took a look outside. “Pharaoh!”

“Roland, over there!” Mokuba got into the cockpit and pointed to where Yami Yugi stood.

“All right, we’ve finally found him!” Roland took a look to the back of the chopper and noticed the door was open, with Kaiba about to jump out. “Mr. Kaiba, what are you doing? You don’t even have a parachute!”

“Hehehe…” Mokuba smiled as Kaiba already began his freefall. “You’ll soon find out that he doesn’t need one.”

A thousand feet later, silver-and-sapphire wings sprouted out of Kaiba’s back, amazing his third-in-command. “Wh-Whoa! Mr. Kaiba can do that?”

“I know it’s cool to watch my brother half-shift, Roland, but you need to fly over there, too.”

“Um… Right!” Roland sharply twirled the steering wheel around as the chopper approached the shore.

Yami Yugi dug the toes of his leather boots into the sand and enjoyed the sound of the sunset breeze. He didn’t want to get up yet, however, as Dark Magician Girl’s last encounter with him stuck in his mind.

I’ll see you when you return home, pharaoh. And no matter what happens, I’ll always be in your deck.

“Back home, huh…” The sea water in the sand started to soak into Yami Yugi’s boots. “After everything that’s happened, am I really prepared for-”

Before Yami Yugi could continue his thoughts, the breeze suddenly got stronger, thanks to the beating of Kaiba’s wings. “Kaiba!”

“Pharaoh…” Kaiba’s tone started off angry as he landed. “Where in the FUCK have you been?! Do you have any idea how long I’ve searched for you, only to find you chilling out on the beach like the loser you are?”

“I… I wasn’t ‘chilling out,’ my love. I was thinking about how I should continue my mission.” Yami Yugi stepped a bit further into the shore. “Now that this world is in peacetime, it’s about time that I go back to my own world, ancient Egypt. But now… Now, I’m not sure how I should go about doing it. It also bothers me that despite how much I remember about my past, there are a few things I’m forgetting. Not the least of which is my real name.”

“Hmm…” Kaiba gave Yami Yugi’s concerns a few seconds of thought before saying, “How about you join the KC Grand Tournament to get your mind off of things?”

“Oh come on, Kaiba. You know how much I love dueling, but I don’t have the time while my people are suffering.”

“Are they, though? Back when we first time travelled, you said you couldn’t travel before my… past self’s death. But you can travel to any time after, right?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then we’ve got all the time in the world.” Kaiba gently hugged Yami Yugi from behind, twirling the golden bangs with his index finger. “Is it so weird for me to want to spend more time with the man I love? I miss the days when we had epic duels, when we were in love with one another before either of us knew. We’ve got so many memories to make together, and what better time to start then now?”

“Seto Kaiba…” Yami Yugi took on a playful tone that Kaiba hadn’t heard. “Are you asking me out?”

“Erm… Uh… I suppose you could say that.”

“Hahaha!” Yami Yugi laughed so hard that Kaiba had let him go. “It’s so much fun to listen to you flounder your words.”

“Sh-Shut up! You know I’m not good at this kind of thing.”

“And did you honestly expect me to say ‘no?’” Yami Yugi stopped laughing and took Kaiba’s hands into his own. “I’d love to go out with you, anywhere you’d like.”

“Then… how about that fancy restaurant by the ocean?” Incidentally, this restaurant was so close that Kaiba could see the multicoloured lights shooting out of it. “I know it’s very popular, but at this point, I don’t give a damn. If everyone finds out that the president of KaibaCorp has a boyfriend, then let them find out.”

“So bold.” Yami Yugi held a hand to Kaiba’s face while the taller man still held his other hand. “Just one of the many things I love about you.”

“Mm.” Kaiba could only hum into the kiss that Yami Yugi gave him.

“And another thing.” Yami Yugi brought Kaiba’s ear closer.

“Hmm?”

“I’d certainly love for you to feel me up with that tail of yours again.”

To Kaiba’s horror, he couldn’t form a response before this tender moment was broken with a, “Phaaaaaraoh!”

“Téa!” Yami Yugi broke the hug but still held onto Kaiba’s hands.

“Oh…” Téa could tell from Kaiba’s expression that she nearly walked in on something interesting. “Sorry to crash your date, guys.”

“Mr. Kaiba!” Roland got out of the chopper, only to find his boss holding hands with another man.

“What, Roland? Got something to say?”

“N-Not at all, sir!”

“Good. Because even if you did, I would have just told you to stuff it.”

“Hehehe…” Roland laughed nervously, not wanting to say another word after what he just heard. So he changed the subject. “So, about this new tournament… It’s going to have competitors from all around the world, isn’t it?”

“What, rich boy’s holding another tournament? I’m down for that!”

“Maybe I’ll enter too,” Tristan pondered out loud.

“If all my friends are in, then so am I!” Téa happily proclaimed.

“You’ll all lose before you can get the privilege of facing me, you know,” spoke Kaiba.

“Then how about I use you as target practice?”

“No, Wheeler, I don’t feel like dueling today.” Kaiba began to walk back onto the street, with Yami Yugi close by.

“You’re going to blow off dueling? For what?”

Kaiba took Yami Yugi’s hand into his own, eliciting a curious reaction from the nearby mini crowd. “A date.”

___

Author’s note: The next chapter will begin the season 5 arc. Unlike most of the fanfic so far, this arc will mostly feature original material, and will not cover the KC Grand Tournament.

[mygenderstudiesblog-blog]

An Intimate Look into a Heartbreaking Reality: The Garden Left Behind

By: Alyssa Macpherson

Introduction:

I recently had the opportunity to attend the Reelout queer film + video festival in Kingston, Ontario to watch one of their feature films. The film I chose to watch was The Garden Left Behind directed by Flavio Alves. 

About This Film:

The Garden Left Behind is centred around a young trans woman named Tina Carrera who lives with her grandmother in New York City. The film sheds light upon the daily challenges Tina faces including her identity, her love life, the hatred she receives, and the struggles of being an undocumented immigrant. Throughout the film, Tina struggles to find herself and to fit in as a trans woman who has not yet fully transitioned. Tina finds comfort and purpose with members of a “Trans Lives Matter” social movement and begins to feel accepted and worthy, despite confusion and negativity towards the cause from both her grandmother and the man she loves. This film takes us through Tina’s life and her physical and monetary struggle to transition and to be happy with both her life and herself. Due to many setbacks, Tina starts to feel defeated, which does not go unnoticed by a young man who has been closely observing Tina from afar. 

My Opinion:

In my opinion, The Garden Left Behind was an extremely powerful and memorable film. Many important topics were discussed in great detail and as the audience, we were all left with many strong feelings after watching it. This film was certainly heavy and had mature content within it which I felt was ultimately why the film was so powerful. There was a disclaimer and a trigger warning given before the film began along with a brief introduction by the Reelout employees. This prepared the audience for what they were about to watch and ensured no one would be shocked or surprised by the nature of the film. This was very important as the subjects and events of the film dealt with many touchy subjects that could easily make viewers feel uncomfortable and upset.`

One aspect of the film that really stood out to me and that I felt was very impactful was the way in which numerous social issues and ideas were tackled at once. This movie is primarily based around the struggles trans individuals face each day however that was definitely not the only topic that was addressed. The subjects of immigration and race along with poverty and unemployment played vital roles in this film. The intersectionality that The Garden Left Behind expressed was extremely useful and vital to really understand the struggles that the characters were facing. It showed the “multiple levels of discrimination” (Kaufman 2018) that these women were facing not only from being trans, but due to their race, gender, and class as well. The intersectionality in this film made it a lot more applicable to the real world and greatly enhanced its relevance. The intersectional variety in this film was very powerful and made the overall message and meaning immensely impactful to all viewers. 

One of the major subjects in The Garden Left Behind were protests and social movements. Especially in popular areas such as New York City, social movements are very common and effective at voicing opinions on serious topics. The march and social movement in this film was the “Trans Lives Matter” movement. This movement focuses on the unfair and unjust treatment the trans community faces from police in their daily life. They encouraged the fact that “gender is socially constructed”, (Raskoff 2017) and that they should not need to be cisgender to be treated fairly by police. These social movements are a powerful way to stand up for what you believe in and by including them in this film, it demonstrates the reality of the work that many activists put in to try to make a difference. The other people involved with the social movement in the film also helped Tina feel like she fit in and she found people that understood how she constantly felt. “The Trans Lives Matter” group provided Tina with the stability and assurance she desperately needed to feel worthy and important. The importance of friends in this context and an inclusive environment is something I feel is extremely important for all people. Friends make you feel worthy and valid and you can be yourself around them without the fear of being judged. This film did an excellent job of portraying the importance of having friends to lean on for support and reassurance and proved that no matter what, there’s always people there that care about you. Knowing that you are never alone is a very important message to get across to the audience especially youth as they find themselves and as mental illness and self-doubt are extremely prevalent to that age group. 

Another aspect of the film I found extremely interesting was the fear and embarrassment that was demonstrated towards Tina and other trans people. Tina’s boyfriend Jason, who she was with for the beginning of the movie, refused to go out in public with her and acted ashamed and embarrassed to be associated with her at all. He seemed to enjoy the sexual aspects of their relationship but nothing more. He slowly distanced himself from Tina due to his binary thinking and the idea that he did not fit into the typical “man” role. There was also a young boy named Chris, who watched Tina from a far and slowly seemed to fall in love with her. After being exposed to his transphobic and cisgender friends, when he finally came face to face with Tina, he acted out of rage and hatred towards her, instead of showing her his real feelings. He seemed to genuinely hate himself for falling in love with her and due to his friends opinions, he felt trapped and embarrassed. This truly shows the stigma associated with trans people in society as Chris felt so trapped and confused due to feeling it was wrong for loving someone who was not cisgender. 

Final Thoughts:

Overall, I felt The Garden Left Behind was a powerful and touching film that tackled numerous important social issues present in today’s society. I felt the film did an excellent job depicting the thoughts and feelings of both members of the trans community and others looking in. After watching this film, everyone is guaranteed to feel many powerful emotions that will leave them with a new understanding of the challenges and struggles many face in their everyday lives. 

Word count: 1085

Works Cited:

Kaufman, Peter. “Intersectionality for Beginners.” Everyday Sociology, https://www.everydaysociologyblog.com/2018/04/intersectionality-for-beginners.html#more

Raskoff, Sally. “Signs of Gender.” Everyday Sociology, https://www.everydaysociologyblog.com/2017/03/signs-of-gender.html#more

[thelostsmiles]

Chris/10 would recommend ★★★★★

It was riveting, witty, and passionate. 

I highly recommend reading “Gimme Shelter” by @sincewhendoyoucallme-john

However, if it’s late and you have to go to bed soon because you have work, school or any other important thing tomorrow, still read it but know that you will not get the amount of hours you’re accustomed to. I guarantee you will not be able to put it down.

*spoilers*

From the opening line of “the love affair began with salt” comes one of the most memorable Johnlock stories I’ve encountered. It’s a surfing adventure that takes place in the 70s on the beaches of California and Hawaii. Right away, I could feel the warm sands beneath my feet and the sticky ocean breeze on my face.

I’m a fan of The Rolling Stones but “Gimme Shelter” introduced me to songs that I hadn’t heard before. The ones I was familiar with, I now hear them with different more vibrant colours. That’s one thing I really appreciated. The music. I love that the author included a song at the beginning of each chapter. It placed me in the right mood and setting for what was to come. Either by lyrics or melody, each song coordinated very well with the scenes. But just as they mention, if there is only one song you hear throughout, the title song is it. I’d personally include “Time Is On My Side”, “Paint It Black”, “Moonlight Mile”, “Miss You”, and “Wild Horses”. I’m listening to the playlist as I write this and it swells my heart with happiness *thinks about them standing on that cliff in the summer of 1977* :’)

The writing is brilliant. It’s very eloquent and enthralling. They developed Scotty and Johnny into fully formed beings that without a doubt became Sherlock and John in an alternate universe. It had the right amount of description to where I felt like I was there witnessing these two falling in love. I’m not exaggerating. At one point, I picked up my phone to continue and I was confused for a moment. I wasn’t sure which app to open. Netflix? Hulu? Did I mean to turn on the telly? Am I listening to an album? It was implanted into my retinas remarkably vividly. I was sitting at home in the cold fall sweater weather feeling like I was wearing shorts and a tank top while lounging on a beach towel with aviator sunglasses on as I sipped a coolly frosted beer. I was laying there propped up on my one elbow, smiling wide because Sherlock and John were standing under a palm tree being adorable thinking nobody could see them caressing each other but I could. I almost felt like a creeper.

Now that I have given a decent review, here are some of the informal, inappropriate and honest reactions I had while reading.

Sleep? What is that? It’s a little over 159k words. Not enough. No wonder my eyes burn but it’s worth it. It feels like they’re about to melt out of my sockets. To be fair, it could easily also be because of the tears I’ve shed due to how beautiful this is. “I can’t quit you, baby. But I’m gonna have to put you down for a while.” Me towards this art because this is like air. I need more of this ultra high purity grade oxygen.

It’s romantic, erotic, sensual and exciting and I’m not even referring to the smut, albeit that is also incredible. Like the sex they had the morning of their wedding day and how John saw Sherlock looking down at him. One word: soft. The tenderness of the whole story is captivating. It’s giving me 1976% good vibes.

Why would you make Greg this way? It’s intense and I approve. Greg is that best friend anybody would be lucky to have.

Get Off My Cloud. “Obviously.” And there’s the Sherlock Holmes we all know. Scotty wearing these aviator glasses is something else. This gorgeous bastard knows he’s sexy and he knows in this moment Johnny’s mouth is dry. Damn. What a treat to have these two meet and not exactly hit it off well because, yes, the drama. The anticipation is killing me. I’m about to wipe out head first into the 70s. I don’t want to be saved, thankyouverymuch.

I Just Want To See His Face. I think we all can appreciate his solider kink. What a tender child. Lord, I want for this to keep going. It’s so good. But omg noooo, my heart is breaking. I want to crawl in to hold young Scotty in my arms. How dare they do that to his surfboard? I’m mad as hell.

 Street Fighting Man. The great Scotty Holmes wiped out. Ahuh. Sure, Jan. But was there ever any other option? Not when he wants to look into those deep blue eyes again. “Stay the hell away from me!” Oh, Johnny. You have no idea how big of a lie this is.

Under My Thumb. Wow. Scotty really dressed up all fancy to go meet Johnny at his workplace just to return the bullet casing. He would. “Nobody calls me John.” Well, this gorgeous man just did. Let hiiiim (I feel like this is a good nod to your name @sincewhendoyoucallme-john ). Yes, Johnny. Stare into Scotty’s lovely eyes, letting your skin prickle underneath. Train with this beauty. He will show you all there is to know. You two will become pros and live ridiculously happy lives together :))

Time Waits For No One. Johnny talking about the war with Scotty, saying things he’s never said to anyone else is soothing. A bond is forming. Woah, woah. Hold up. That post beach workout shower scene?! What the hell is this?? I am gasping in wonder. It is like a bomb waiting to drop and I’m over here craving it. It was like a slap to the face when those dudes barged in. That was a close one. It all felt illegal. Hot but illegal. Bless you for including it. Their “tents” though. Grade A tents.

Miss You. Johnny’s friends really showed up during their last day of surfing together. Ok but this tension between them is awkward. He’s jealous of Greg!! Ahhhh. Help him. Johnny and Scotty bickering on that flat rock had me on the edge of my seat. I could hear them yelling and now I’m yelling. Strike me with this kind of discourse anytime. As long as it ends with them happy, I’m all for it. Oh my. That CPR kiss? Never have three letters been quite intoxicating. This is what I needed. Very good. Yes, save Johnny Watson, Scotty. Rip his top open and place your huge hands on his chest. Give him the kiss of life.

Time Is On My Side. I cannot breathe. I am laughing and smiling too hard. My face is going to get stuck if I’m not careful. It feels like there are anchor shaped knots in my stomach. My heart is on fire. My throat is swelling to hold on to the blood pulsating through my veins. “You forced me to breathe again.” Ok, but @sincewhendoyoucallme-john now you’re leaving me without air. He whispered THANK GOD. Same Sherlock. Same. John wanting to wake up before the sun because he needs to see Sherlock is exciting. Sherlock telling John that he wouldn’t let him embarrass himself, telling him that he believes in him is pure. Let them eat poke all day. Automatic coffee machine? Obviously. So Sherlock. I demand this whole scene with them on the cliff and in the water after they jump to be transmitted on all television and radio stations internationally. Send it straight to space and blast it into everyone’s mobile phones because this is what it’s all about. This was so romantic :’) Someone please make this into literal food so that I can consume it as all my meals.

Moonlight Mile.  I… Never… Honestly… I just felt this story crawl into the right atrium of my heart and settle deep into the folds of the left ventricle. I have been murdered and resurrected in a matter of one chapter. I changed my mind. This is the purest thing. Their time together like that was deliciously unexpected. Glorious. The way you described it @sincewhendoyoucallme-john You have a gift, my friend. You do. It’s like being able to eat all the tasty desserts in the world without ever getting ill. Like you can’t ever get full so you keep stuffing your face and smiling because it’s so satisfying [insert SNL Emma Stone eating ice cream gif here but in a joyful way].

Paint It Black. I’m going to have to go to the dentist now. You’re giving me a toothache. I’m also screaming because no they didn’t just snog each other behind this shop. Gah. Yes, they did :>

I Can’t Quit You Baby. I’ve never known a pain greater than John having to leave Sherlock to head back to Los Angeles … “leaving Sherlock alone and untouched on the sidewalk, looking like he’d just said goodbye.” Stop it! Stop. Please. I’m despondent and I need medical attention. But he promised and he’s going to keep that promise. I know it because they didn’t just completely devour each other in a sweet embrace crushing their bodies together, bruising their skin and breathing in their very souls for nothing.

Shine A Light. I, too, waited for one hundred and forty seven hours for this moment. That is all.

Dancing With Mr. D. Yes!! You ride that wave, Sherlock. Let the ocean spray massage your back while John’s illuminating smile creates sun rays that shine down on you. Surf like hell, Sherlock Holmes! Now go get your man. “A new tattoo of the memory of John’s touch on his skin.” I’m putting this whole moment in my will to be read aloud.

Heaven. “You coming, captain?” Get your ass out there, John. Your beautiful golden love waits for you. My heart!! I love physics, man. This should be included in every maths course. 

Wild Horses. God, I love this so much. I love it with the passion of 1977 burning suns. I will never be the same. It’s like I threw my own bullet casing out into the distance. The dog tags and the piece from Sherlock’s first surfboard is better than any ring. They’re happy. I’m happy. All Sherlock had to say was “John” and we all understood … John… *floats away* I think that, for me, this was the pièce de résistance. It’s what it all came down to. The way you described what each of them means to one another was fresh and true. It was breathtaking. You truly captured their significance to one another. And isn’t that one of the reasons why we seek out fanfic?

Everything about this is mother hugging fantastic. From the lovely moments between John, Greg, and Molly to the memories between their mothers and to the contagious laughter with Johnny and Scotty. I mean Sherlock. No, I mean Scotty. No! Sherlock. How it transitioned from Johnny and Scotty to John and Sherlock is everything. What a gem.

I thought I was going to read a story that lead up to just the Billabong Championship but, boy, was I wrong. I got so much more. It’s like I was expecting to win the lottery but along the way I also “solved world peace and found eternal life all at once.” That line was perfect, by the way. It started on a high note and ended on an even higher one. It will be forever in my brain riding a big wave in Waimea. I’m thisclose to moving to a piece of paradise on the shore of a private beach in Oahu. 

Oh my literal God. Sweet Jesus above. This is fantastic!!! It’s one of the best things I’ve read and I want it made into a book. One hardcover copy so I can place it in a special section of my library to treasure it dearly as I would any first edition. And then one paperback that I can take with me everywhere I go. I didn’t know I needed this like the salt in the ocean.

So you see, I love this AU Johnlock story. No offense to the infinite stars above and the green earth but this is one of the greatest things to have been created. I send my thanks to Keith Hartman for not letting John die on that beach. I send my love and appreciation to the sky and the sea for crossing that horizon line to melt into one. Above all, I send many more thanks to the author for putting in the time and energy into this. When you see art, read stories or any other form of work in any fandom and if you experience something powerful, whether it’s as easy as a smile or intense like the strings of your heart being pulled, do not hesitate to let the creator know. Having said that, I appreciate you for your creativity and your dedication. Thank you, thank you, thank you @sincewhendoyoucallme-john This is something I’m holding on to forever *makes a leather-bound manuscript to keep in a first-aid emergency kit*

If you’re looking for something new to read, do yourself a favour and check this one out. I am jealous of everyone who reads it for the first time as I wish I could experience that rush again. Reading this was like tasting the most delicious strawberry milkshake with cream on top while listening to the beautiful sound of a conch shell calling out for the attention of the sky and sea to witness the bonding of two amazing people. I will never look at a jellyfish or a plumeria blossom the same way again *turns this whole thing into audio format so I can listen to this diamond certified song over and over again*

The only way I can come to terms with the fact that it’s over is by letting the tears falls down my face.

Chris/10 would recommend

[lowdenfordays]

Hold on to your hats, kids. This one gets a wee bit racy. 

——-

“So, the interactions between your characters, Jack and Y/N, really leave viewers guessing. Can you shed a bit of light on their relationship?” the interviewer asked.

You saw Jack glance at you in your peripheral vision. You were doing your first press event - with Jack, Mark, Tom and Barry - for your new film Dunkirk, and were sure this wasn’t the last time that question would come up. You played Mr Dawson’s oldest daughter in the film, a young woman in training as a nurse, determined to play her part in the rescue operation. Your character was steadfast and resolute, like her father, but feisty and hot-blooded at times. As Chris had given the characters so little backstory, you had decided that, due to the constraints of her sex at the time, she had developed a fiery streak. After arguing her way onto the Moonstone, your character Evelyn had some small exchanges with Collins after he was rescued. Nothing more than flirting was ever seen in the film, but the suggestion of romance was clear, despite it having been absent from the script. The chemistry between yourself and Jack on set was palpable, and infected your takes every time. Luckily, Chris had liked the hint of romance you accidentally brought to the characters.

“Aye, I think there’s certainly some chemistry between Collins and Evelyn, but that’s the beauty of their relationship, in my view, that it’s so undefined. Ye don’ know where they’re gonnae go, so ye get te fill in the blanks yerself,” Jack commented very diplomatically. 

“Yeah, I would agree,” you continued, “And I think it would be insensitive to trivialise such a serious and important topic like the evacuation of Dunkirk with something so frivolous as a whirlwind romance. This film is about survival and community, so while it’s nice to see a little flirtation, it would be wrong for there to be more than that.”

The interviewer nodded. “So do you think Evelyn kinda represents the woman at home, you know, the lover waiting for her man to return from war?”.

You fumed silently, astounded at how Evelyn could have been interpreted so wrongly. You took a deep breath, trying to maintain your professionalism.

“No, not at all. I think she represents all the strong, brave women that refused to sit at home while the men went off to fight in the war. Her getting on the boat in the first place, refusing to let her father leave her on the dock, shows that she has tenacity and a fighting spirit. You know, women played such a vital role in both world wars, not only in the factories and farms, but in the armed forces too. And all those brave nurses who saved millions of lives, and sometimes gave their own when helping soldiers on the front lines. There are accounts of makeshift hospitals on the front getting bombed. There are actually some historians who argue that Germany lost the war because Hitler refused to let women work to maintain the economy. He thought their place was in the home, having babies…” You sensed you were getting a little worked up, but you simply refused to let your character be dulled down to a two-dimensional love interest. “Plus, Evelyn is in training as a nurse, so she is clearly determined to do her part. She shows women as a force that cannot be ignored.”

You had to stop a smug smirk from painting your lips as the interviewer looked at you in stunned silence. The guys around you nodded in agreement, and Jack offered you a supportive pat on the leg.

The rest of the interview passed mostly without incident, talking about what it was like to work with Chris and your experiences of filming on the sea. Time was nearly up when you were asked what it was like being the only female member of the main cast.

“Oh it was fine!” You nearly rolled your eyes. “The guys were all really lovely, and didn’t treat me any differently for being a woman,” you said pointedly. “Anyway, I was by no means the only woman on set. Emma, for example, and a load of the crew were female so I wasn’t alone in my womanhood.”

“So no incidents in other casts member’s trailers then?” the interviewer asked suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

Tom quickly came to your rescue, “Y/N is a good mate and such a laugh. She’s one of the lads really, but somehow managed to keep us in check too. She was actually a bit of a mother hen at times, so there really wasn’t that kind of relationship. Anyway, we’re all colleagues at the end of the day, so we had to be professional.”

You deigned not to mention that you had shared Jack’s bed the night before. Not even the rest of the cast knew about you two.

“Exac’ly. She’s a great friend, ya know, and we’d never disrespect her loike tha’.” Barry interjected.

“She’s a phenomenal actress too, which is the real point of importance here. She’s good at what she does, so it never mattered to us that she was a woman. She could be a bear for all we care,” Mark said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

The interviewer, clearly failing to get the message to move on, asked Jack, “So all that chemistry on screen, that was just acting?”

“Jus’ acting mate,” Jack replied, “it’s what we do. That’s how we bring home the bacon.” He clearly wasn’t willing to offer any more on the subject, so that was the end of it.

The interviewer asked a few final questions and you all offered your thanks.

“Thank god that’s over,” you sighed once back in your hotel room. It was your only interview of the day as you had the premiere that evening so Jack, Tom and Barry had headed back to your room with you to relax, and Harry and Fionn had joined shortly after from their interview. You’d just come out of the shower to hear Jack finish retelling the event from earlier to Harry and Fionn. They were suitably horrified too.

“I cannae believe ye were asked those questions! It was so rude!” Jack exclaimed indignantly.  He couldn’t help getting protective.

“Well, we’d best get used to it ‘cause you better believe that’s not the last time I’m going to get asked questions like that,” you said as you stood in the doorway in the hotel dressing gown, towel drying your hair. You went to sit beside Jack on the bed.

“But they were so obtuse and, well… derogatory,” Tom volunteered.

“Welcome to being a woman in the film industry, my friends. Thanks for sticking up for me though guys, I really appreciate it.”

“No, from now on we’re not going to let people talk to you like that. Whoever is in an interview with Y/N, if she gets asked a question like that you answer for her, alright?” Harry suggested, “She shouldn’t have to deal with shit like that”. Everyone nodded in agreement and tears welled in your eyes, overwhelmed by their support.

“We’re no’ gonna let people treat you like tha’ pet, you deserve so much better,” Jack said, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulder. You buried your face in his chest and let his warmth seep into you, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. A few pointed looks were thrown around the room at your behaviour, but you were oblivious to them.

The boys stuck around for a while, chatting and messing about. You however, were in your own world with Jack. You weren’t in a relationship, per say, you certainly weren’t dating. You’d never been on a date, but you had slept together a few times. It all began when the cast reconvened for the press tour and you and Jack had suddenly found that you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. During the shoot you had remained steadfastly professional, despite the tension that hung in the air between you. You had thought he might make a move at the wrap party, but nothing happened and you drifted your separate ways. But, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so when you saw him again, bearded and, if possible, even more gorgeous than you remembered, it didn’t take long for you to hook up. Neither of you really knew where you stood, so had decided to keep it secret from everyone else. Mostly your relationship consisted of sneaking into each other’s rooms at night and stifling your moans because the hotel walls weren’t that thick. It was quickly becoming inadequate. You could feel yourself falling for Jack, like you had toppled over a cliff without even realising you were close to the edge, and you hadn’t hit the ground yet. You were dreading the impact. You’d never talked to Jack about your feelings, and you were terrified that he saw this as just a fling, just mates helping each other out. You wanted to tell him that you wanted more than stolen kisses and silent sex, but every time you tried the words stuck in your throat.

Eventually you shooed all the boys out, needing to get ready for the premiere.

“Can’t I stay?” Jack whispered, his breath on your ear giving you shivers, “It’s not like I haven’t seen ye naked before.”

You tried, and probably failed, to keep your expression neutral. “What about keeping us a secret, huh?”

“Well, what if I don’ want to keep us a secret anymore? What if I want to shout it from the rooftops that yer mine?” he growled.

Your stomach was doing somersaults, as you locked eyes with Jack. The startling blue seemed to invade your senses, and you could practically taste him.

Someone coughed deliberately and Fionn said, “We best be off then, let Y/N get ready in peace.”

Jack smirked and stood up, knowing full well he had you in the palm of his hand and was leaving you to wonder, ‘what if?’. You were suddenly alone in your room, and desperately lonely. You took a deep breath and began to get ready. If Jack wanted to play games, then games were what he would get, and you had a trick or two up your sleeve.

You had been planning to wear a modest, black dress, but had seen a gorgeous velvet number that was a deep, emerald green, in a shop the previous day. It was so beautiful, you couldn’t resist trying it on, and when it fitted like a glove and you saw how sexy it made you look, you bought it. You set the black dress aside and lay the new one on the bed while you did your hair and makeup.

Two hours later you were dressed and you took a moment to admire your handiwork in the mirror. You’d done a dramatic smoky-eye and soft rose lips. You let your hair fall in gentle curls around your face. The dress was the real killer though. It was a bardot neck, revealing bare shoulders, and came to a gentle plunge to show just enough cleavage. It had long sleeves, and cinched in tightly at the waist to accentuate your curves. It finished just above the ankle and you wore classy black heels to give your posture an extra kick. You smiled in satisfaction.

There was a knock at the door, “You ready Y/N? We’re all waiting downstairs.” It was Tom. You opened the door and his jaw dropped. “Bloody hell! You- you look amazing!”

“Thanks Tom. I’ll be down in a sec, okay? I just need to grab a few bits.” He nodded and headed off, somewhat dazed. You only needed your clutch, but waited an extra moment – you wanted to make an entrance.

Once you got downstairs you lingered out of sight around a corner. You could hear voices.

“I’m telling you mate, she looks incredible,” Tom said. “You won’t be able to restrain yourself”.

“You best restrain yerself though, eh mate?” you heard Jack say. You smirked and rounded the corner, letting your hips sway and your heels clop loudly on the floor. Immediately all eyes were on you. A few guys stood with mouths agape, Harry whistled appreciatively, much to your satisfaction, and you distinctly heard Jack curse under his breath. As you approached, Jack marvelled, “Holy hell, Y/N, you look…”. He searched for a word that was tenacious enough. Before he found it, you turned to Cillian. “Would you mind walking me to the premiere, Cillian? I’m a little unsteady in these shoes,” you said with a self-satisfied grin.

He smirked and shot an apologetic look at Jack, before offering you his arm.

“It would be an honour to escort such a beautiful lady as yourself”. You threaded your hand through his elbow and set off, making sure to swing your hips a little more than usual. You turned back to Jack for a moment, biting you lip seductively, before turning back to Cillian.

“Y/N, you’re being cruel,” Cillian whispered before helping you into the car. You looked at him in faux confusion. “Who am I being cruel to?” He shook his head with a smile, but didn’t press it.

The premiere was glamorous and boisterous, and the red-carpet interviews were mostly easy to navigate. You got a fair few comments on your dress, which you accepted graciously, and the guys only had to fulfil their promise to rebuff any sexist questions a few times. However, the whole night you were acutely aware of a particular pair of blue eyes on you. When you caught Jack’s gaze you saw they were deep with hunger and a possessive rage. It was a little frightening and completely exhilarating. When you headed inside for the screening of the film, he grabbed you by the waist pulled you into a secluded corner. He tried to press his lips to yours but you pulled back. “Uh uh, not in public.”

“Oh who cares! Like the guys haven’t already guessed. I’m desperate for ye Y/N, you look so damn sexy in that dress,” he groaned.

“There’s press here Jack, to review the film. I can’t risk this getting out. You heard what that prick said to me this morning, just think how much worse it’ll be if people know we’re screwing.”

His face dropped, clearly understanding the repercussions.

“This isn’t just screwin’ for me though, ye know that righ’?” The fear was painted clearly across his face, and he suddenly looked so young, so vulnerable. You nodded, relieved to know he was in as deep as you. All you wanted was let him kiss you, but instead you whispered, “It’s not for me either.”

The smirk that you so adored was back, dimples and all, and he bit his lip. “In that case, I’m going to show you exactly how much you mean to me as soon as we get back,” he said, and sauntered off, once again leaving you longing for him.

You had enjoyed the evening, but it couldn’t have ended soon enough. The after-party was being held at the hotel, so you slipped away as soon as you could without being noticed. Jack raced down the corridor, your hand held firmly in his. But you couldn’t keep up with him in your heels, so he scooped you up into his arms and carried you. You laced your arms around his shoulders and kissed him on the neck. He put you down when you reached his room to unlock the door. You were barely through the threshold before he attacked your lips with fiery kisses and kicked the door shut. He threw you down on the bed and you gazed at him through your eyelashes as he tugged his jacket off.

“God, I’m gonna rip that infernal dress off ye…”

[insatiabletc]

A Couple of Quick Notes

We normally only write about indigenous women and trans women of color, but in light of the current attention on police shootings, we wanted to cover Tony McDade’s murder. Tony has not received as much attention as his cis-gendered counterparts in the mainstream media, so, today we made an exception and are covering his case. 

We also would like to direct you to an article put out by The Root, by Anne Branigin. “Tony McDade Was an ‘Imperfect’ Victim of Police Brutality. It’s Exactly Why He Matters,” was extremely thoughtful and helped us articulate why it is important to step away from the harmful “perfect” versus “imperfect” victim concept our media and police love to reinforce.

We also encourage you to read the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey in full. We only cover parts of it that are relevant to Tony, but the     whole document is important and well worth the read. 

Tony’s obituary was put out  under his dead name and uses she/her pronouns. Because it feels unethical to change the language in an obituary, we are changing instances of she/her pronouns to “Tony.” The obituary often moves between “Tony” and his deadname, so that feels like a good place to land. Bracketed instances of Tony’s name are our additions, unbracketed instances are the original wording of the obituary. 

Tony McDade

Tony McDade was a 38-year-old trans man living in Tallahassee, Florida. On May 27th, 2020, Tony was shot and killed by police. 

From his obituary:

“[Tony] loved to travel and was a talented hairstylist and vocalist.”

“[Tony] was a loving, compassionate, extremely loyal person who had the most beautiful smile. [Tony] was known to light up a room and your soul. Tony was diligent, tenacious and a dedicated competitor. One could not have a better friend, associate, coworker, sibling or family member than Tony for [Tony] would give up everything…to ensure the people [Tony] loved were happy, satisfied and fulfilled….Tony also played and enjoyed basketball…. [Tony] was a force to be reckoned with when it came to [Tony’s] chosen sports for, [Tony] was an all-around athlete. [Tony] was phenomenal.”

Looking at the online guestbook attached to his obituary, we could see fond recollections of dance-offs and quick friendships. Many described his infectious smile. We also found this bittersweet quote from The Advocate: “Friends online described him as a person with “a big heart” and noted that he was nicknamed “Tony the Tiger.”

Timeline of Events Before Tony’s Death

5/26/2020 – Tony is attacked by 5 men. After the attack, he goes on Facebook Live and shows injuries from the attack. He “vows to get revenge on assailants and brandishes a gun.” 

5/27/2020 (10:45am) – A man, Malik Jackson, is stabbed on Saxon Street. He later dies. 

5/27/2020 (10:59am) – An unnamed officer shoots Tony. This officer claims that Tony “’had pointed a gun at him’ and that ‘the suspect was in possession of a handgun, and a bloody knife was found at the scene.’” (Paper) 

There have been very few official details released surrounding the events and we have pulled together a collection of descriptions provided by witnesses:

“I walked down this way, as     soon as I get around this curve, I just hear shots… I see [McDade] right     behind the tree, but I see for him (the officer) just jump out the car,     swing the door open and just start shooting… I never heard ‘Get down,     freeze, I’m an officer’—nothing. I just heard gun shots,” – Clifford Butler

“They said ‘Stop moving, n—-r,’     and then they shot him after he stopped moving.” – Rolling Stone doesn’t attribute this     quote to Clifford Butler, but parts of the quote they printed (which we     removed for redundancy) match exactly what was attributed to him in other     articles. 

“Clifford Butler, an eyewitness who lives at Leon     Arms, says he heard seven or eight shots.” – Reported by WFSU

“I just heard pow pow pow pow pow, so I’m like d—     they shooting early in the day time, its day time they shooting…So by the     time I came, my step-son, Zion told me, he say ‘they just killed somebody.'” – April [she did not want her last name     given]     (WFSU).

It is unclear, but from the phrasing in some articles it sounds like the shooting itself was filmed in Facebook Live videos. We have been unable to find these videos if they exist. 

The stance the Tallahassee PD has taken is that the “the officer acted in accordance with their training.”(WFSU) Beyond that, they have kept quiet and have not released the officer’s name. Currently, the unnamed officer is on administrative leave. The city was able to keep the officer’s name secret by invoking a recent addition to the Florida constitution, Marsy’s Law. 

On June 6th it was reported that the police would release bodycam footage of the incident by “next week.”  Then, the city of Tallahassee reversed its decision to hide the officer’s name and promised to release it, but, the Police Benevolent Association of Florida is fighting this reversal and neither the body cam footage nor the name have been released as of June 26th. Releasing the footage would shed some light on how the officer behaved during the shooting and releasing the name would give greater accountability and transparency. 

Marsy’s Law – Florida Constitutional Amendment 6

Marsy’s Law has been adopted in several states and is meant to both protect and enact rights for victims of crime. Rights like, “receiving notifications of all legal proceedings involving the accused, as well as the right to privacy, the right to be heard, and the right to be protected from harassment,” (The Ledger). Part of that right to privacy is that a victim’s name should be withheld from the public. This law was created by a murder victim’s family after experiencing a deeply disturbing encounter:

“Marsy's Law is named after Marsalee (Marsy) Ann Nicholas…who was stalked and killed by her ex-boyfriend in 1983. Only one week after her murder and on the way home from the funeral service, Marsy’s family stopped at a market... It was there, in the checkout line, that Marsy’s mother…was confronted by her daughter’s murderer. Having received no notification from the judicial system, the family had no idea he had been released on bail mere days after Marsy’s murder,” (Marsey’s Law webpage). 

So, why is a law meant to protect victims and their families being invoked in Florida to withhold the names of officers involved in shootings? The short answer is that the Florida-specific version of the law is vague in who is considered a “victim,” and currently there is no state level guidance for police departments to follow. This means it is up to the individual departments to decide who is protected under the law. Some, in an effort of compliance, now make it routine to withhold the name of each and every victim, regardless of the severity of a crime. Some have taken it a step further and consider officers to be victims if a gun is drawn upon them. Each agency has pretty wildly different views on whether this law should apply to officers (all quotes come from the linked article):

·       “When Marsy’s Law was overwhelmingly approved by voters, there were no clauses that limited the rights of victims by their careers…I support this law and agree that, just because a person chooses a career in law enforcement, their rights should not be limited.” – Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco

·       “The state’s voters apparently believed that increasing the rights of victims was a fair trade for some reduced transparency," – Denise Moloney Hernando County Sheriff's Office Spokeswoman (Please note, that if you look at what Florida voters saw in 2018, there is no mention that officers involved in shootings would be protected by this law, making this claim a tad misleading).

·       “Marsy’s Law incentivizes people to come forward and report crime so they don’t have to worry about consequences and reprisal. Cops don’t fall into that bucket. This is what we do. If you don’t want to be transparent, if you don’t want to be forthright, then don’t sign up for the job.”- Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri 

As you can see, there are opposing views and in the eyes of the state both are considered valid. First Amendment groups in Florida are pushing for a bill to be passed that clarifies who falls into the category of a Marsy’s Law Victim. One such bill, entered by Senator Book in 2019, never made it out of the Criminal Justice Committee. We searched entered bills for the 2020 session and there are none addressing this issue. 

It is important for the public to be aware of officers involved in killing someone, as it allows for transparency and accountability. Without knowing the name of the officer who killed Tony, we can’t know if this is the first or tenth shooting this officer was involved in; the public cannot see what consequences are meted out. Will the officer be transferred to another department? Will the officer be fired? Will the officer come back to the community after a short period of administrative leave, with no other consequences? Transparency and accountability are crucial for a public institution that runs a high risk of killing people. 

It also seems far-fetched that Florida citizens were aware of how confusing this law would be when implemented for POLICE OFFICERS, and quite honestly that is probably not the victim they pictured. We hope that a bill is introduced in 2021 that can clarify this issue so that Floridians can expect consistency in all parts of the state. 

If you live in Florida, look up which of your senators belong to the Criminal Justice Committee and demand a bill be drafted that clarifies who should be considered a victim under Marsy’s Law. 

Imperfect Victims

When you look up and research Tony’s case, you will learn that on his Facebook Live video, he showed a gun and a knife, and told the five men who attacked him that he was coming for his revenge. He said “You killed me…I’m gonna kill you…I’m living suicidal right now…” and said that he was going to pull a gun out around the officer “because you know these officers nowadays they see a gun they just [going to] shoot." (WFSU Media)

You will also learn that Tony served time in prison for aggravated robbery and in May 2020 had been arrested for a charge related to a BB gun. 

Because of these facts, some people shy away from talking about Tony’s case, and others are emboldened to say that Tony was asking for it and why should we cry over a hardened criminal. We should “cry over” Tony because he is a human that lost his life, and frankly, we don’t know what the circumstances were surrounding the shooting. We know that Tallahassee has seen an uptick of officer-related shootings. We know that footage has not been released, despite public demand for it. We also know that the police have non-lethal tools at their disposal. And, since the city has yet to release any details, we are left with witnesses at the scene, who paint a picture of officers shooting up to 8 times and using the N-word. Why wouldn’t the city want to release footage if it contradicts that narrative? 

Let’s also consider: who benefits from a cherry-picking of victims to support? Why are only certain people worthy of support and protest? It is a white supremacist system that demands you be “unarmed…meek, and therefore worth of protecting,”(The Root). We also don’t know that Tony stabbed Malik, we don’t know if he had a gun, we just don’t know anything. So why has the media focused his criminal past? Our theory is that when we focus on whether the individual murdered was worth protecting, we are not forced to examine larger systems at play that contributed to the murder. Because, there are in fact larger systems at play that our society has the power to change, that contributed to this shooting. 

What is seldom reported is that in 2009 Tony wrote a letter to Judge Mark Walker begging not to be sent to prison, and instead be sent to a mental health facility. Tony wrote “I promise I’ll do right… Please Judge Walker don’t send me back for something I didn’t do. I’ll lose it. Besides while in prison I smoked weed, popped ecstasy, and drank liquor. The officers brought it in and staff members so what good will that do. Prison seems to get you nowhere but high…I have an anger problem and always fought behind my anger. I NEED HELP PLEASE SIR. I have a mental problem,” (reported by the Tallahassee Democrat). Very soon after penning that letter Tony was sentenced to 10 years in a federal prison. 

Another fact that is usually not included in reports outlining the threats Tony made in the Facebook Live video, is that he also talked about physical and sexual abuse he suffered in his life.

It chills our blood reading Tony’s plea for mental health care and treatment, knowing that in 2018 the federal penitentiary system suffered deep cuts to mental health care budgets. It is very unlikely that Tony received the treatment he knew he needed. In fact, knowing what we know about being trans in the penal system, it is likely that being incarcerated further compounded his mental health concerns. 

Being Black & Trans in the Penal System

According to The Root, in 2012 it was found that “half of all black trans people have been imprisoned.” This is astoundingly high, and it is the direct cause of both transphobia and racism. Remember, trans and gender-non-conforming people face higher rates of discrimination in housing, employment, and in schools. Lack of access to basic needs like housing and money* can lead to engagement with criminalized work for survival. This can put trans and gender-non-conforming people at a higher risk of being caught up in the criminal justice system. 

And, even if someone does non-criminalized work or avoids being arrested for doing criminalized work, as children both LGBTQIA and Black Americans still run the risk of being over-policed in their schools by School Resource Officers (SROs) that have a racist history of escalating non-criminal behavior to arrest. Or, they could simply be subject to higher rates of contact with police due to the over-policing of black communities, increasing the chance that one of those interactions will lead to arrest. 

Once in the system, it is difficult not to return to it-- not because of inherent character defects, but because the system is designed that way. People are often released with no resources and are expected to find gainful employment (even though having a criminal record makes that more difficult) or other access to food/housing/anything that requires money. Because trans and gender-non-conforming people have a much higher instance of discrimination in both housing and employment, even without a criminal record, it makes it even harder to find legal forms of employment. (Everything said in the prior three paragraphs is true for IPOC communities as well). 

This is why it is inherently racist and trans-phobic to say the only victims worth caring about must have no criminal history, because our society puts BIPOC and trans Americans at a higher risk of being incarcerated. It is the unspoken rule that shifts public attention to white, wealthy, cis-gendered people because they are better able to fit into that “perfect” victim mold due to societal advantages. 

Once inside prison, trans people can face being housed “according to the sex assigned at birth, instead of by gender identity—one’s inner sense of being male, female or something else. This policy makes transgender people more vulnerable to harassment or attack by staff or fellow incarcerated people: A California study found that transgender people were 13 times more likely to be sexually assaulted than non-transgender people in prison.” (Lambda Legal).

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey reports that 1 in 5 trans inmates interviewed “reported being sexually assaulted by facility staff or other inmates. This rate was 5 to 6 times higher than the rates of sexual assault by facility staff or other inmates reported by the U.S. incarcerated prisons and jails.” 

The effects of sexual assault on the mind are well documented. It is deeply impactful and can change the way a brain functions. One effect it has is to cause overwhelming emotions, due to a reduced ability in emotion regulation, which is the result of the body and brain working overtime to ensure the traumatic event does not happen. This is why people in the midst of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may react to stimuli with large or inappropriate reactions. 

It is very likely that Tony’s experience in federal prison was traumatizing, and we know from his own words that he experienced sexual and physical abuse. The anger that Tony cited in his letter to judge Walker could very well have been due to unaddressed trauma. Does this excuse harmful and violent actions perpetrated by Tony? No. But remember, Tony begged for help. If Tony had received help when he asked for it, or ideally earlier, would this timeline have looked different? Tony, being a trans Black man in America, faced astounding systemic challenges and disadvantages. We are all responsible for our choices, but what happens when choices are systemically stripped away from a person? We do not all have the same or equal choices available.

*Obviously, money isn’t inherently a basic need, but in American society it is often necessary to have access to money to be able to have things like housing, food, water, clothing, transportation, etc. The reality is that we live in a capitalist society that limits access to money for certain people, which in turns limits access to basic needs.  

 Restorative Justice 

How do we want our justice system to function? How do we want our society to function? Crime NEVER occurs in a vacuum. Never. There are always systemic factors at play, and it is the responsibility of a society to reduce risk as much as possible. We are essentially relying on an unjust criminal justice system to fix public health crises. Putting someone in prison without resources and services is not going to fix the root issue. It is not going to:

·      suddenly create economic opportunity in a poverty-stricken area

·      put food into hands

·      create tolerance and foster love in a community

·      offer comprehensive mental health aid to hurt and traumatized people

·      offer addiction services or provide housing for the homeless

·      remove a harmful police presence from BIPOC communities and schools

·      teach accurate history in schools

·      fix divestment in BIPOC communities 

·      create non-discriminatory laws regarding employment and housing

·      decriminalize non-violent professions, like sex work

It will only further traumatize and reduce options. Like it or not, we all have a role in how our society functions. 

Tony begged for help. What are you going to do about it? Pick something, anything, and stick with it. Not everyone can do everything, but we can all do something. Start by educating yourself and reading and volunteering. If you don’t know where to even start, here are some ideas: 

Are you a parent? If so, look     into whether your school has School Resource Officers. If they do,     advocate for them to be removed. If there are no SROs, what is your school     doing for marginalized students? If your school is “better” than others in     your community, ask why. Keep asking and keep pushing for answers and     change. Join other like-minded parents. 

Local politics – attend city     council meetings. Listen to the testimony provided by other community     members – chances are some will be representing an organization that you     can get involved with. If you cannot attend in person, see if your city     council meetings are digitized. 

Look up the Black Lives Matter     group in your area and see what they’re working on and what help they     need. 

Look     up LGBTQIA resource centers in your community and see what they’re working     on and what they need. 

None of these things on their own will solve these issues, but they will introduce you to further actions you can take and organizations to assist. Seriously – do something! 

 Want to Learn More about Missing and Murdered Trans Women of Color? Here are some great sources that we have come across:

·        The Trans Obituaries Project: Honoring the Trans Women of Color Lost in 2019 (USA - obituaries written by Raquel Willis, illustrations done by Jacob Stead): https://www.out.com/print/2019/11/20/trans-obituaries-project-honoring-trans-women-color-lost-2019#media-gallery-media-1

·        The Human Rights Campaign: https://www.hrc.org/blog/topic/transgender GLAAD put out a great article on how to write about trans folks who have been victims of crime: https://www.glaad.org/publications/transgendervictimsofcrim

·        Trans Women of Color Collective https://www.twocc.us/ This is a great resource and a reminder that trans women of color exist outside the violence they experience.

·        Equality Florida TransAction Florida https://www.eqfl.org/transactionfl#:~:text=Equality%20Florida's%20Transgender%20Inclusion%20Initiative,of%20our%20society's%20fundamental%20institutions.

·        TGI Justice Project http://www.tgijp.org/ from their website: “TGI Justice Project is a group of transgender, gender variant and intersex people—inside and outside of prisons, jails and detention centers—creating a united family in the struggle for survival and freedom.”

[black--excellence]

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[ramiebaboon7-blog]

Danielle Fishel + Jensen Karp’s Romantic + Whimsical Wedding Day

You know how sometimes it feels like a certain person would be your best friend if you ever met them in real life? That’s how we feel about Danielle Fishel —someone who has brought a lot of laughter and joy into our living rooms. She’s stepping behind the camera these days, directing Disney Channel favorites like Raven’s Home and Sydney to the Max (premiering 2019), and she left an imprint on America’s heart as Topanga in our TGIF fave, Boy Meets World. SO…when we heard she recently got married, we were so totally over the moon!! Jensen is the Executive Producer and creator of the TBS show, Drop The Mic, and the Executive Producer of the upcoming Unqualified (also on TBS) starring Shaquille O’Neal and Ken Jeong. And LA locals will recognize his voice from KROQ’s Kevin and Bean weekday morning show. Basically, these two are total rock stars and today we are SO excited to share an exclusive first look at their dreamy wedding at the Carondelet House in Los Angeles!

Danielle gave us the goods behind the day’s details, beginning with a look at how the wedding design came together:

The design process for us was all about hiring great vendors who pulled the design together. Each one added in a little something fun and unique so we ended up with a look that was completely custom and really fit us as a couple. Our planner, Lisa Gaskarth with Union3 Events, took our ideas and expanded on them to design this romantic fall aesthetic with some really unique pieces. For example, when we picked linens out at La Tavola, we decided to use their rodeo linen which has little horses and cowboys all over it. It was an out of the box, quirky idea that we took a chance on and it ended up kind of being the inspiration for the whole wedding. We loved it so much we’re even using the fabric to make pillows for our new house! 

Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unexpected of places! Jillian McQuerrey of B.O.B. Photography captured all those fun details of the day and some seriously sweet moments between D + J—let’s have a look!

Delightful Details

We came into the planning process with a few personalized pieces in the works like our custom pins and logo by Clark Orr which is a play on our last names, both including fish!

Danielle wore a little something blue in the form of these Bella Belle shoe soles!

Jensen custom designed Danielle’s engagement ring and their wedding bands were from XIV Karat in Beverly Hills.

The Wedding Party

Danielle’s bridal party included Sabrina Carpenter, Jamie Leff Choi, and Danielle Robb. The gals donned black gowns and carried some seriously gorgeous fall-boho bouquets by Honey & Poppies!

The groomsmen, Justin Siegel, Matthew Robinson, John Mayer, and Chris Bentz, wore black suits of their choice. D + J wanted everyone to be comfortable and were less worried about being perfectly matched.

Aren’t they so sweet?!

And HELLO, doesn’t she look stunning? We love Danielle’s approach to her hair + makeup:

I only knew that I wanted to feel like a prettier version of my everyday self. I have worked with Laurie Heaps and Julie Cuomo for YEARS and not only are they incredibly talented, but they are also dear friends for life. I didn’t have a hair or makeup trial as I just trusted them to work their magic and I knew I’d love it. Julie got my skin wedding ready with a few peels at her spa, Jolie Beaute Wellness Spa, and then she did incredible skin prep before even starting my makeup (which she also executed flawlessly).

I only told Laurie I wanted to wear my hair up (it was a request of Jensen’s to see my whole face) and I had no idea what she planned to do. I also have no idea how she did what she did but I almost cried when I looked in the mirror at the end. I am absolutely obsessed with the Jennifer Behr pieces she used and my hair stayed perfectly all night and was very comfortable.

A Romantic + Whimsical Ceremony

We wanted our florals to be unique, romantic, and whimsical and we really wanted a dramatic floral hanging piece above the area where we said, “I do.” It was also the backdrop for our sweetheart table. We (Danielle, Jensen, and Lisa) met with Megan from Honey & Poppies and told her those super basic details and she absolutely ran with it. At every turn, we were amazed at what she had done and now we’re asking her to make us a permanent version of the hanging ceremony piece as art in our home. All in all, the venue felt so warm and full of love that day and that’s what mattered most to us.

Our Musical Choices

Processional: Family and Bridal Party: Processional: Stand By Me by Stringspace Orchestra | Bride: Pachelbel Meets U2 by Jon Schmidt

Recessional: Folding Clothes by J. Cole

First Dance: John Mayer performed XO by Beyoncé

My brother was our officiant which was really special to both of us. Of all the aspects of the wedding, our ceremony seemed to be everyone’s favorite element. My brother did such a good job (his first time as an officiant) and he was personal, funny, touching, and just the right length. We wrote our own vows and I think they were the right amount of engaging and sentimental. I can’t wait to relive it on video.

Our Favorite Memory From The Wedding

Jensen's vows. He told the story of how we both hated Thailand when we visited and the whole room erupted in laughter. His vows made perfect turns from hilarious to absolutely touching (everyone shed a tear when he mentioned wishing his father Larry, who passed away ten years ago, could be there with us), and romantic. Our ceremony was the highlight of our wedding hands down.

The Newlyweds: Mr. & Mrs. Karp!

SO stunning, these two!

Wondering about Danielle’s utterly dreamy dress? We’ve got the cute story behind her look!

Shortly after Jensen proposed, I asked him what kind of wedding dresses he liked. He genuinely had no idea as he’d literally never thought about it. He said, “I don’t know. My favorite ‘you’ is jeans and a t-shirt you.” So I quickly googled “t-shirt wedding dress” and the WHITE x Vera Wang for David’s Bridal dress popped up. I stupidly turned my phone around and showed it to him and he said, “Oh my God, I love that!” I made a mental note to try that dress on when I started my search and it ended up being the dress I loved. I had my seamstress (A Stitch In Time) change the sleeve to a slightly longer, scalloped sleeve and close up the open back a few inches. I ended up being so happy with it and felt comfortable all night.

A Candlelit Reception

D + J opted to skip several traditional wedding moments like speeches, dances with parents, and cutting the cake in favor of more opportunities for conversations over the table and lots of dancing!

For us, the most important part was that we became husband and wife. After that I just wanted everyone to have an amazing time and not be interrupted with more words and photo opportunities I don’t love anyway (I knew I wouldn’t frame a cake eating picture for my home)!

We’re definitely onboard with this cowboy linen from La Tavola Fine Linen!

Danielle turned to borrowed BLU to help hand select each piece for the tablescape. From chargers and plates to copper water tumblers and rose gold flatware, the fall romance seeped through in every detail!

Our Advice To Those Planning Now

Make as many details specific to the two of you as you can. We had a logo, pins, custom napkins with fun facts about us, among other things, and those were the details that people commented on the most because they were unique to our wedding. Also, hire vendors whose work you love and people you can trust and then let them run wild. Don't micromanage them! You hired them for a reason...let them do what they do best and then be pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Best thing I did outside of marrying Jensen :)

How fun is this reunion!!

Oh, and the perks to having John Mayer as one of your best friends? The best first dance in all of history, of course. John sang his cover of Beyoncé’s song XO as it was a personal fave of Danielle + Jensen.

And definitely don’t miss their gorgeous wedding film by Atomic Tangerine! So magical….

To Danielle + Jensen, we’re so thrilled for you and in awe of your beautiful wedding! Congrats from all of us at GWS!

photography: Jillian McQuerrey of B.O.B. Photography // venue name: Carondelet House, Los Angeles, California, USA // event design: Lisa Gaskarth with Union3 Events // planning: Lisa Gaskarth with Union3 Events // florals: Honey & Poppies // wedding dress: WHITE x Vera Wang // wedding dress boutique: David's Bridal // hairpiece: Jennifer Behr // bride's shoes: Bella Belle // hair stylist: Laurie Heaps // makeup artist: Julie Cuomo // groom attire: Calvin Klein // videography: Atomic Tangerine // paper goods: Swell Press // calligraphy: Katie O'Brien // catering: Tres LA // desserts: Blinkie's Donut Emporium // tabletop rentals: borrowed BLU // linen rentals: La Tavola Fine Linen // music: Anthony Soike at Red Shoe LA // officiant: Chris Fishel, the bride's brother // lighting: OC Audio Visual Solutions // custom pins, logo + invitation design: Clark Orr // alterations: A Stitch In Time // wedding bands: XIV Karat in Beverly Hills

Source: https://greenweddingshoes.com/danielle-fishel-jensen-karps-romantic-wedding-day/

[fenrirgraves]

My Thoughts on Chester Bennington/Mental Health...

Just wanted to share my thoughts about Chester Bennington...I don't tend to post much anymore unless I find it worth my time, and this one definitely is. I do need to say, most celebrity deaths don't bother me too much, not to say that I don't care, but more often than not, I'm not invested enough to truly, truly be impacted. Don't get me wrong, any loss like that is upsetting, but usually the distance and natural disconnect fails to make me feel anything more than some brief sorrow over the loss of such a talent.

Chester is different, at least for me. That man's voice and music, say what you will of it, has been my guiding light since I was 11 years old. "In The End" was my very first Linkin Park song, and Linkin Park was the band that helped me forge my early music tastes, to what eventually evolved into what it is now. A far cry, to be sure, but as a result, Linkin Park will forever hold a special place in my heart as "my first band", if you will.

Chester's music was the very first music that I felt connected to. Granted, it was junior high me making a bigger deal of things than they were, and feeling like Linkin Park understood me and my preteen struggles. Regardless of if that's silly in retrospect, it meant something to me then, and that means a lot to me now. I connected with something in a way I never had before. Yeah, it was angry, angsty, edgy stuff, but it spoke to me, something I find harder and harder to find in music as I get older. And though we like to write tunes like "In The End" and "Crawling" off as emo anthems that we all know the lyrics to but are mildly ashamed of, at the time, they were very real for Linkin Park. Though they likely became those songs that were the moneymakers, they were written from a real place in their origins, and that should never be forgotten.

I stuck with Linkin Park through Minutes to Midnight, A Thousand Suns, Living Things, and The Hunting Party...they lost me with One More Light, as I'm sure they did most people. I watched them evolve and change, and though such experiments were met with mixed results, one thing is important to note - they had balls. To make history off of one kind of sound (as heard in Hybrid Theory and Meteora), and then completely go off on their own and start experimenting and trying new things, takes a lot of balls.

Chester had explained in the past that in his younger years that he had struggled in great regards with drugs and mental illness, and that's what a lot of Linkin Park songs in their early years were about ("Breaking The Habit" especially). Again, though they likely changed for the band, and for us became those radio tunes we know them for, in their genesis, they were deeply personal works.  I had the honor of seeing him and Linkin Park perform them in 2014 on The Carnivores Tour...and it still remains one of the greatest concerts I’ve ever been to.

It shook me to learn that Chester took his own life. Interestingly enough, he was very close friends with Chris Cornell, which may shed some light on things. I'm not saying that he was pulling some copycat move or anything like that, but clearly they had a lot in common, and likely shared similar mental states.

Which, just as any celebrity suicide demonstrates (my particular sticking post being Robin Williams), nobody, NOBODY is immune from failure, from the hardships of life, from the struggles that we all go through. You could look at someone like Chester, like Williams, and say "Wow, they've got it made. They're rich, famous, on top of the world" Chester played to crowds of thousands nightly, the world knew his name, his lyrics. And the common person may ask, "So with all that, why'd they take their own life?" And this truly demonstrates...it doesn't matter WHO you are, you could be the world's sensation, or just some kid crying in a dark room alone...NOBODY is immune from sadness, from failure, from depression. It is thankfully losing its stigma, what with people like Robin Williams and Carrie Fisher being so very vocal about it, and them having sympathetic ears to speak to, but it still isn't understood fully by people who don't struggle with it.

Which is almost odd for me to imagine, someone not struggling with such things. Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad for them, they're lucky. But unlike physical conditions, a mental one like this is often not given the care and attention it should be, and is instead seen as laziness, as someone who just wants attention, or as something terrible, awful, abnormal. Truth is, depression is no less common than getting a cold. And it needs to be normalized and accepted in that same way. You'd never judge someone for getting a cold. Just as well, one should never judge someone else for being beaten down by life, and feeling lost and hopeless. Life is NOT easy, and we'll all do our battles with it. I know I have and still do in some regard. I have been very fortunate to have wonderful people around me to give me support, people who understand and keep me marching towards the battle, and I'm better for it.

Sometimes though, that's just not enough. Sometimes, nothing is enough. No amount of money, fame, support, love, medication, therapy, whatever...sometimes there's just no helping it. It's a very sad, very sorry state, but it is a reality. And while I wish with all my heart that it wasn't like that for some people, sometimes, their only answer is out. I for one, think that that is never truly the right answer...though I respect someone's right to do it, it's their life, their decision...I wish it weren't so, and wish so much that things could be changed for them.

Thankfully, attitudes towards suicide, like depression, have changed a bit. Again, I go back to Robin Williams, I think that was a big wake-up call for A LOT of people, and rightfully so. While it is a terrible and dark act, so many people for the longest time thought and said that only the weak did it, only the selfish, only junkies, fools, and people who deserved it, were unfit for this world and are better off gone. But when it started becoming clearer and clearer to the general populace that it can afflict anyone, no matter who they are...it sent a pretty strong message.

And it's pretty shattering for me to lose one of my musical idols like this. The guy had a wife and kids, and good friends in Linkin Park, and an extended family of millions who his music gave light and inspiration to in the darkest of times. I am not calling his act selfish by putting light on those aspects, rather, I'm showing that even with such wonderful things going for him, clearly these incredible things couldn't outweigh whatever plagued the poor man's heart and soul. And if he was unable to do that battle with those kinds of odds, then why should any normal person be judged so badly and cruelly for suffering in similar ways?

His passing has made me shed my fair share of tears over it...he was a hero to me. I think truly, the best way to remember him and move forward, aside from playing his music loud and proud, is to give more care and attention to mental illness, to afflictions of the mind, heart, and soul, that may not be obvious. If Chester Bennington can struggle and suffer with it, so too can anybody and everybody else. Unfortunately, it's normal, it's human. It's a sad truth. And more sad yet, there is no true cure or fix for such things.

But a step in the right direction is to give more care and attention to these things, and not just let your feelings last as long as your sadness over the passing of said person does. Live that shit, make it a part of you, advocate for those who need it, even if that's yourself. If there is one bit of good that can be taken from a terrible loss like this, it's that we now have a responsibility to carry on that light, carry on that message that he was so vocal about it, and make it clear that such things are human, and that while there may not be an answer for everyone...everyone needs the same love and care as anybody else does.

We only have each other, we gotta make the best of it.

Peace.

[piltoverfinest]

All prime numbers!

Oh wow thank you so much. That’s...a lot, haha. This is gonna take some time & space so find more under the ‘Read more’ :) (Also, I kinda am sad that I have to do math now bc I am so bad at it haha)

2: Dog breedBeagles & Bernese Mountain Dog & Huskies! But especially Beagles. Please don’t ask me why, I just love them, they are so cute. But overall, I am a person that loves all dogs. Every single one of them.

3: ComedianRight now it’s Trevor Noah but one of my all-time favourites is Ellen Degeneres because she’s just so funny in her own way. I also have an Austrian fave which is Michael Niavarani. He is so fucking funny, I die laughing every single time I watch one of his productions, haha.

5: ColorBurgundy & Woodgreen

7: PerfumeI normally don’t wear perfume, I just way some lemon & lime body spriz or some of the Victoria’s Secret body sprizzes. I like light, fruity smells that don’t last too long and aren’t too heavy.

11: FoodBroccoli & Cheese! I love Broccoli, I love cheese and if you pack some pasta in there I will forever love you.

13: Concert attended Already answered

17: MagazineI don’t read a lot of magazines, tbh. I used to read a lot of ‘girly’ magazines but I mostly lost interest in them now.

19: Sport to watchDancing & Hockey! Mostly hockey now though.

23: WebsiteAhahaha, I am on it right now. (It’s Tumblr. There is nothing else but Tumblr. It’s sad.)

29: SingerBeyoncé! Always!

31: ActorUhm...good question. I don’t think I have a favourite actor, tbh. There’s no name that immediately comes to my mind. Wow.

37: CandySour Stripes & Shark Candies (both only available in Austria as far as I know though, how sad)

41: Have you pre-named your childrenYou know, I once wanted to name my first daugther Sweden Finija and that was...well...a very creative choice. I am wiser now and I think it’s a desicion one should talk through with their partner. There are names that I like but I haven’t chosen any yet.

43: Do you have a 5 year planWell, I had one and had to put it down, so nope. Not anymore. The only goal I have right now is to try my best to make my current relationship work so I can still gush about Chris in 5 years. I want to be happy in 5 years, that’s all. 

47: Who’s your best friendIt’s a tie between Sophie & Fabienne. I love them both so much, they know me so well and we’ve been friends for all out lives. I couldn’t chose just one.

53: How do you like your steak cookedI don’t eat red meat ;) 

59: The movie I cried at wasOh fuck, let me tell you, I don’t think I have ever cried so hard at a movie than when I did watching “LION” a few weeks ago. I also cried watching “The Help”, oh how I shed tears at that one. 

61: My CarIs my baby. It’s a Skoda Fabia & I love it. 

67: The person that makes me cry the most isI rarely keep people in my life that make me cry a lot, so there isn’t anyone. I cry a lot around Chris but that’s mostly bc I work myself up about things that don’t matter (like me having my period when we meet) and then he asks me what’s wrong and I just start bawling because I think I am doing something horrible. I mostly laugh about it afterwards because he always makes me see that these things don’t matter, that I worry about things that are not important for our relationship. Like, he doesn’t care if we have sex or not as long as I am there and he doesn’t care if I have my period, as long as I am feeling okay and well. 

71: Next SummerI will mostly work, sadly but I have a week off and we are planning a camping trip which I am really excited for :D

73: TomorrowI will go to work for the first time this week & I am a bit nervous about it. We have a birthday coming up tomorrow though, so that’s gonna make things easier :) 

79: First time you had a crushKindergarden ;) 

83: The most difficult thing to do isTalk to people in real life about my problems.

89: Who makes you laugh the mostMy friends & my boyfriend

97: Swam in a poolLast year, at some point, I can’t even remember bc I don’t really like chlor water, I prefer natural water in lakes or ponds.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhileI meet all of my friends pretty regularly but a few weeks ago I saw my aunt and cousins who live in the Netherlands. We had a really good time which was surprising because sometimes we don’t have a lot to talk about.

103: Hugged someoneYesterday

107: CollegeIt can be a good experience for people and it’s definitely good to get an education. I personally tried University (which is college here) and it wasn’t for me.

109: Gas PricesI mean, they were actually quite low around here for a while. They are higher now, which sucks but I usually come through with 30 Euros per month because I don’t drive around in my car a lot since I have an all-year public transport card I can use.

113: EbayRarely use it but every time I did it went okay, so I guess it’s alright.

127: East Coast or West CoastHaven’t seen either, so no comment ;) 

131: Small town or Big cityBoth have their flaws but I’d prefer living in the outskirts of a big city like I’ve done all my life. We have a lot of nature around but don’t have to drive too long to get to the city center and we have all the shopping opportunities around still. 

137: Coke or PepsiCoke

139: Flip flops or high heelsOh gosh, I have worn a lot of flat shoes in the last few weeks and during winter but I am a high heel girl all the way. I love my high heels!

149: Hot or coldCold! Cold please!

151: Red heads or Black hairedI am a redhead, so that’s that ;) 

157: Do I Believe in WarNo, not at all. I don’t think war solves any problems, I don’t think violence brings any answers. 

163: HellUhm, I don’t know but I guess not? 

167: FateYou know, I have always said I don’t believe in things like Fate but with the things that have happened in the last few months (and especially how they have happened), I am not so sure anymore.

173: Are your parents divorced? ´No, they are still married.

179: Spongebob canI am sorry but...what? does? that? mean?

181: On my calendarThere are a loooooot of appointments right now. 

191: My 1st car wasMy Skoda Fabia & it’s still alive and well :D

193: My height is6′3′’ aka 160cm. I am very smol.

197: My cellphone company isNot really reliable tbh

199: I was born in1993 :)

[hermanwatts]

Science Fiction and Fantasy New Releases: 15 August, 2020

Whether in a Celtic Otherworld or the ashes of a future Earth, magic worlds swarming with elementals or the cold vastness of space, this week’s new releases are filled with valiant deeds and desperate acts.

Duty, Honor, Planet – Rick Partlow

We thought we were alone…

We’re going to wish we were.

Jason McKay and Shannon Stark, two young Republic Space Fleet Intelligence officers, are given the leadership of a new special ops unit. The mission? Guard the spoiled daughter of an important senator on a tour of the colonies.

Neither of them thought the mission would be anything more than babysitting…until the aliens invaded the colony.

Implacable, relentless, merciless, the armored creatures slaughter everyone who gets in their way. The team is forced to go on the run with the people they’re supposed to protect.

But survival will be the least of their challenges. Because it’s not as simple as an alien invasion, and the truth may be even stranger than they can imagine.

Jason and Shannon are forced to weigh the lives of the people they lead–and the ones they love–against their duty, honor, and planet.

A Fire Reborn (The Elemental Warrior #3) – D. K. Holmberg

The threat Tolan has long feared has been defeated, but a new danger emerged, one that poses a threat to both shapers and the elementals.

For the first time since mastering his connection to the elements, Tolan fears an elemental. He’s long advocated the elementals were misunderstood, and tried convincing others within Terndahl to free them from the bond, but the appearance of Light has proven his mistake.

Chasing the threat leads Tolan to take a dangerous journey, one that challenges all that he’s learned of spirit and brings him back to the lands beyond the waste where he discovers a secret hidden from the rest of the world for centuries.

What he uncovers is more deadly than anything he’s ever known, and one his unique connection to the elements might not be enough to stop. It will take more than a master of spirit to survive; it will take a true element warrior.

Fulcrum of Light (Catalyst #2) – C. J. Aaron

Freedom has come at a price.

Stranded on the coast of an uncharted land, Ryl will be tested as the world outside the Palisades proves darker than within.

With little to no direction save the cryptic information from a mysterious stranger, Ryl must rely on his new-found skills and place his trust in his new companion. Together they forge onward into the barren wastes of the Outlands. As the sickness approaches, their time and hope fades.

Surrounded by uncertainty, will they discover there is more to fear than just the unknown?

Ryl survived The Stocks. Will he survive the Outlands? His search for the secrets of the power that flows through his veins continues.

Will he find the answers before his time runs out?

Gale Force (Four Horsemen: The Guild Wars #7) – Chris Kennedy and Mark Wandrey

In the aftermath of Peepo’s war against humanity, the Mercenary Guild is still in chaos. On Earth, the moratorium on mercenary contracts is disrupting Jim Cartwright’s efforts to stand up the new Terran Federation. Making matters worse, Jim has received intelligence that someone is squatting on asteroids in our Solar System…and Sansar Enkh is pretty sure they don’t have Earth’s best interests in mind. Fearing the aliens have plans for another invasion—or worse—Jim takes his ship, Bucephalus, and sets off to investigate.

While the mercenary guild is in recess, Nigel Shirazi has an opportunity to make some credits, and when he leaves to pursue an illicit contract, Alexis Cromwell decides to follow up on some information she’s received on the mysterious Weapons Conglomerate. Nigel wouldn’t approve of her running off, especially eight months pregnant, but Alexis has never been one to listen to instructions—or orders for that matter. She gathers a squadron of Hussars and heads off on her quest.

Events in the galaxy are happening at a frantic pace as the guilds battle each other in the shadows…and sometimes in the open. The Four Horsemen are once again at the center of it all, and as the guilds squabble, the Dusman aren’t sitting on the sidelines. They have their own plans, and humanity is only part of them.

The Guild Wars aren’t over; they’ve only just begun.

The Great Die Slow – Harry Piper

A lost knight stumbles upon an ancient horror… A desperate lord makes a deal with an unholy, hungry power… A young girl driven half-mad by grief pursues an impossible quarry…

Set in a Dark Age Celtic landscape shrouded in myth and legend, these dark, often tragic, tales tell stories of ordinary men and women confronted by evil both human and inhuman.

Whether priest, knight, farmgirl or sellsword, they will all be forced to take up arms and fight against forces that will test their strength and their sanity to the limit, in stories that will chill you, excite you and perhaps even break your heart…

Stories included: The Man In Chains Manawyddan the Heartless and the Unquiet Mere The Penitent Cadell’s Fate The Burden Sir Gareth and the Thing That Hid The Great Die Slow

Into the Stars (Rise of the Republic #1) – James Rosone

The stars are within mankind’s reach…

…But what awaits in the void may end humanity…

Mars and the Moon have been colonized, piracy runs rampant in the asteroid belts, and a thriving society grows in the depths of space. Humanity prepares to embark upon its greatest journey—the colonization of Alpha Centauri.

Then everything changes…

A deep space reconnaissance probe discovers a new Earth-like planet twelve light-years from Earth’s sun. The probe also finds something unusual, something…unnerving. A new mission is created, a space fleet is formed, and humanity embarks on unraveling the greatest mystery of all—the origins of life itself.

Can the factions of Earth remain united, or will old rivalries and animosities destroy the fragile peace in the face of this terrifying existential threat?

Will exploration prove to be a fatal mistake?

Legacy of Vale (The Circuit Saga #2) – Rhett C. Bruno

War threatens to destroy the Circuit once more…

After arriving on Ceres Prime, ADIM, is hesitant to help the Ceresians. Their hatred for his creator will never wane, and he starts to understand the danger all of Cassius’ many rivals pose. How can he keep him safe?

When Sage Volus finds herself a captive of Cassius Vale, she begins to struggle with her role in the coming war, and what exactly it means to be an executor. The removal of her cybernetic implant reveals emotions she thought she’d buried too deep to be found. She must make a decision on who she truly wants to serve.

After breaking free of the solar-ark Amerigo and certain death, Talon Rayne finds himself in unusual company. His quests to hold his daughter again will bring him to places he never thought he’d go―into the very arms of his people’s most hated foe.

As the battle grows ever closer, threatening the all-out war that could annihilate millions, these four must determine what part they intend to play, who they will align themselves with, and what it means to be human in a solar system where that means less and less.

Shadows of Ivory (The Godforged Chronicles #1) – Bryce O’Connor and T. L. Greylock

I burned cities and drowned mountains. I pulled stars from the night sky and scorched the world with their flames. I am the Fisher King, and the grave does not bind me.

An academic with a taste for adventure, Eska de Caraval has means and influence, wit and charm… and a knack for acquiring artifacts that may not be hers to claim.

But when Eska comes into possession of a strange disc of rune-carved bronze, she finds herself abruptly hunted by all manner of adversaries: an assassin in the shadows, a monster in the deep, a bitter rival burning with vengeance.

From sword and fang and flame Eska must defend herself, struggling all the while to unravel the mysteries of a dangerous artifact. An artifact so powerful, a dead tyrant will rise again to wield it.

We Are Earthlings (Soldiers of Earthrise #6) – Daniel Arenson

The final battle is here.

The fate of humanity will be sealed.

We’ve been fighting this war for so long. On one side—an empire spanning the stars. On the other side—a single rogue planet.

We’ve shed so much blood. We’ve buried so many sons.

Yet we are all Earthlings. We hate with the same fire. We love with the same flame. We die in the same darkness. We sing the same great song of humanity.

For years, Jon and Maria fought on opposite sides. For years, the war has kept them apart. Now Jon and Maria must meet again. Now they can bring peace . . .

Or everything we’ve fought for will burn.

Science Fiction and Fantasy New Releases: 15 August, 2020 published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[anewhope4change-blog]

Protest and the Erotic

“America” by Claude McKay is a relatively short and incredibly compact poem.  America, to McKay, is a cruel woman who feeds him “bread of bitterness” and sinks into his throat “her tiger’s tooth”, likely implying that America is trying to silence him and people like him. Although despite her flaws, America is a place that he both loves and hates, writing that he “love(s) this cultured hell that tests my youth”. At a glance, this poem’s meaning appears to be one of resistance. McKay tells us he will continue to exist, to live in spite of the hatred and bitterness he receives from the land he hates to love. This stance is not unlike Langston Hughes, who, rather than wanting America, as the racist society it was, torn to shreds, simply wanted it to live up to its founding ideals and become a nation of equals. 

McKay was considered then, even today, as one of America’s finer protest poets. The manner in which he wrote his protest poetry is different than say, Langston Hughes and Zora Neale Hurston. Despite his unabashed pride about his Jamaican and African heritage (Drayton) and the fact this poem was written at the height of the Harlem Renaissance, he doesn’t mention race a single time. The language of the poetry makes it clear he is talking about race, but regardless, the fact he chose to omit any language about race speaks volumes. McKay decides to make the poem about criticizing America the nation, not through the lens of a black American, but simply as an American. This speaks to McKay’s writing style and poetic philosophy, which is described as him “...protesting as a Negro and uttering a cry for the race of mankind as a member of that race.” (Drayton). It is possible this aspect of his poetry is due to his early attraction to Communism (Smethurst). Many of the thinkers and poets that were around towards the closing years of the Harlem Renaissance, specifically the year 1920 onwards, became infatuated with Communism similar to McKay (Smethurst) due to its revolutionary and egalitarian appeal. However, McKay, despite his love-hate relationship with America, never fully committed himself to the ideology, even going so far as to virulently criticize it a few years after the Harlem Renaissance “ended” (Smethurst). 

Why would McKay opt not to embrace radicalism, be it political or poetic, despite many of his peers deciding to do so? Fortunately, McKay answers this for us. His answer is a lot more interesting than one would expect, to say the least. Personally, this required a couple more readings before I could find McKay’s answer. 

Her vigor flows like tides into my blood,

Giving me strength erect against her hate,

Her bigness sweeps my being like a flood.

Yet, as a rebel fronts a king in state

I stand within her walls with not a shred

Of terror, malice, not a word of jeer

McKay stands “erect” in the face of America’s “hate”, whose “bigness” overwhelms him. Despite being overwhelmed, he “stand(s) within her walls”, unafraid of what might happen to him. McKay could have just as easily used different words to get the idea across he will stand resolute in spite of the country’s racism. Why would he eroticize this entire section of the poem? It all has to do with the love-hate relationship he has with America. Relationships between couples can get very complicated - I doubt further description is needed in that subject. McKay is using that dynamic between certain couples to describe his relationship with America. He does not like America, America does not like him. Yet they still have sex all the same, as couples generally do. The answer to why McKay rebuffed and rejected the radicalism which had influenced other artists from the Harlem Renaissance is that he, against all odds, loved the country too much - like a man loyal to his woman, or vice versa. 

After reading that part of the poem over for the third time, I was surprised I didn’t pick up on McKay’s erotic language the first time. However, after picking up on it, I encountered a new problem. “How can I use this information to discuss a protest poem?” I thought. “It’s not like eroticism has anything to do with protest... or does it?” In the span of 5 minutes, I was hit with two major “aha!” moments. First from realizing you could use eroticism in protest and second from realizing that we have been using it for quite some time. Although this might be common knowledge to some people, humor me for a few minutes. It is possible I and possibly many others, did not realize the nature of this section of the poem because of how widespread eroticism has become. 

Even beyond protest, eroticism - sex in general - has permeated society at almost every conceivable level. Eroticism, for better or worse, has been intrinsically linked with the idea of protest for decades. This is especially relevant when looking at recent events, such as Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign in 2016, as well as the protests that occurred before and after his election. Eroticism as protest has been particularly popular against Trump, due to a leaked tape which recorded him making several sexist comments, chief among them being the famous “grab her by the pussy” line. This tape, as well as a few other questionable past comments by Trump, prompted waves protests following his ascension to the Presidency in 2017. The most famous of these protests occurred on January 21, the day after Trump’s inauguration. The Women’s March, which became the single largest protest day in American history, was defined by the sheer amount of protesters, as well as the “pussyhats” worn by many of them. Although the hats are not necessarily eros in the form of protest, many of the signs employed by the protesters were sexual (sexually derogatory towards Trump to be precise) in nature - at least in Richmond. Another example was the Trump statues that popped up overnight in multiple states in August of 2018 (Snyder). These statues were designed to resemble a naked Trump, depicting him as an overweight, unhealthy, and unattractive man, with a micropenis (Snyder). 

This trend of anti-Trump, sexually-based insults and protest slogans/signs employed by protesters has increased in popularity and absurdity. While the original meaning of the protest is still present, the protest messages have degenerated into the realm of ineffectiveness and pettiness. A brief journey to one of the political hashtags on Twitter or other social media platforms is proof of that. 

While eros is not something Claude McKay should be remembered by, his use of erotic language in “America” and other poems helps shed a light on its usage in modern protest. The Greeks believed the idea of eros came from the god Eros. They recognized that eros, as an idea, was extremely powerful, divinely so. While there are certainly many ideas made, or inspired by, the ancient Greeks that are worth forgetting, perhaps their concept of eros is worth remembering. It is an immensely powerful idea, one that should be applied in the form of protest against the most worthy of opponents. In his time, McKay used these ideas to fight the racism and discrimination he and other African-Americans encountered. In our time, it was used effectively, however briefly, against Trump. While politics and discrimination are worthy subjects to use eros as protest, it is important not to overuse the idea. The key aspect of protest is the hope that change will come as a result. By using the same idea to protest, no matter how powerful that idea is, it is hypocritical and foolish to believe that any change can be made.

Works Cited:

Drayton, Arthur. "Claude Mckay's Human Pity: A Note on His Protest Poetry." Introduction to African Literature: an Anthology of Critical Writing. (1979): 86-98. Print.Smethurst, J. (February 19, 2009). 

"The Red Is East: Claude McKay and the New Black Radicalism of the Twentieth Century". American Literary History. 21 (2): 355–367. DOI:10.1093/alh/ajp011. ISSN 0896-7148.

Snyder, Chris. “Naked Donald Trump Statues Are Popping up across America.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 18 Aug. 2016, https://www.businessinsider.com/naked-donald-trump-statues-video-2016-8.

[truereviewpage]

#113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room

Our week of living Furniture Free is over and it went… wellllll… differently than we expected. So today we’re talking about what we liked, what we didn’t, what we screwed up, and what lasting impacts it may have on how we use our home. We also confess an annoying side effect of a feature in our home that’s pretty, but less than ideal. Plus, Sherry takes her love of all things woo-woo to another level and John breaks down an issue he has with a certain smart home technology.

You can download this episode from Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, TuneIn Radio, and Spotify – or listen to it below! Then use this page to check out any links, notes, or photos we referenced. Note: If you’re reading in a feed reader, you may have to click through to the post to see the player.

What’s New

Yup, that’s me rocking my bootleg standing desk (thanks random box!) as part of the Furniture Free Living experiment we talked about in last week’s episode.

I’m still undecided about if I’ll embrace the standing desk thing long term, but if I did I’d probably upgrade to this all-white, convertible standing desk.

I also asked Sherry if she’d like an under-desk walking treadmill, but it wouldn’t fit under her current desk and she said she prefers to walk around outside and work on her phone (she has ordered things we need for the duplex, returned emails, and even taken work calls while walking around the neighborhood).

We mentioned watching a few YouTube videos to better understand the Furniture Free movement, and this house tour by Katy Bowman is probably the most comprehensive. She was the one featured in the Good Housekeeping article we linked to last week and a lot of you have suggested her as a good resource for Furniture Free / Natural Movement enthusiasts.

Also for reference, this is the bonus room we talked about introducing some more active elements into. For instance, we have an area behind the couches that would fit a treadmill just fine if we relocated a few baskets full of dress up clothes.

Also, be sure to tell us on social media if you’re joining us for Aquatober or Walktober!

Updates

Thanks to your suggestions (interventions?) I’m happily loyalty card free on my keychain now. I’m relying entirely on entering my phone number, using Apple Wallet, or scanning things that I’ve loaded into the Key Ring app. I’m also trying an app called Pass2u to import some of my loyalty cards in cases where the retailer’s app doesn’t appear to support it.

And I want to add – since people are more invested in this mission than I expected – that the solo key that’s not wrangled in my leather key organizer above is over on that ring by our car fob because it’s for the beach house – so when we get there I can easily detach the whole leather thing and walk around with only my car key and that one key.

I’ve also ordered this “slim wallet” to see if it’ll help me pare down my wallet too. Thanks for the suggestion, Chris!

Can We Just Talk About Smart Locks?

The door shown above is the main place we’ve considered adding a smart lock since it’s the door we use most often (it leads into the garage). We love how the existing lockset coordinates so nicely with the rest of the polished nickel hardware throughout the kitchen, which is why we picked it out. And you can below that it’s even visible from waaaay back in our living room.

Now, imagine that door had one of these big, black chunks of smart lock technology slapped on it? Not to mention that we haven’t found one in polished nickel (they’re mostly satin nickel – occasionally polished chrome). Here are the links to the ones below: 1 / 2 / 3

They also all come in black or bronze, which helps the black plastic cover blend in – and they look best on a dark door that further hides that big black box. Meanwhile our door (and our whole kitchen, for that matter) is so light that we fear it would really stand out.

But here is the August brand smart lock that I’ve been researching. It does require that you purchase a hub with it that plugs in somewhere else (that’s how it gets away with being less of a giant box on the door) and you can buy a keypad too if you don’t want to rely on peope having their phone with them. And the “silver” color probably isn’t a perfect match to polished nickel, but again – at least it’s not very big. Well, it still kind of looks like a Nest thermostat stuck to the door, so I wouldn’t call it tiny…

And lastly, these are the Kwikset locksets we have on our front and back doors which have the SmartKey system where you can rekey your own locks so you don’t have to hire a locksmith to get all of your locks to match. We’ve had them for five years and would highly recommend them.

Listener Question

This is the covered porch area that Ang was asking about (ignore the deck – this photo is from before we tore it off). Those windows behind the outdoor sofa lead into our living room.

You’re probably used to seeing our kitchen and living room look something like this…

But last week I snapped this photo (without a long exposure to help brighten up dark shots) and it really demonstrates how much darker this side of our house can feel in the afternoon when the sun is on the front/western side of our house. Just note how bright the dining room is there on the right side! There’s not a light on in there, it’s just the sun shining in. And you can see how the kitchen isn’t super bright, but the living room is even darker thanks to that overhang.

The funny thing is that splash of light that you see hitting the fireplace is sunlight bouncing off of the bright white doors to our shed (see, aren’t sheds the best!?). But long story short, the lighting can get very weird in our house around this hour.

You can also see in this photo how that covered porch really does become a dark spot in the afternoon since it blocks so much sun. Again, we like having the porch, but it definitely impacts how the inside of the house feels sometimes.

We’re Digging

That’s us playing the kids’ favorite new game: Tenzi (and yes, we’re using coasters to stack our dice)

Our favorite variation is some combination of Tenzi Tower (where you have to stack your dice as your go) and Stealzi (where you can swipe your opponents dice).

We also bought this “77 Ways to Play Tenzi” that suggests dozens of other variations. They also sell a Party Pack version with 6 sets of dice.

This is the jade face roller that Sherry bought (it’s currently sold out, but this one is extremely similar and also highly rated). And here’s an article from Elle about its benefits.

And to see Sherry’s jade face roller in action (and my response video at the end) just click play below (or on YouTube or in our Instagram Highlights).

And here’s the post full of the other woo-woo skin stuff Sherry swears by (including not washing her face, and using things you usually find in the kitchen).

If you’re looking for something we’ve dug in a past episode, but don’t remember which show notes to click into, here’s a master list of everything we’ve been digging from all of our past episodes. You can also see all the books we’ve recommended on our Book Club page.

And lastly, a big thank you to Revel Woods for sponsoring this episode. Visit RevelWoods.com/YHL to find the right hardwood floor for your home, and don’t forget to enter the code YHL10 at checkout to get $10 off your first sample box!

  Thanks for listening, guys!

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post #113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room appeared first on Young House Love.

#113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/

[endlessarchite]

#113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room

Our week of living Furniture Free is over and it went… wellllll… differently than we expected. So today we’re talking about what we liked, what we didn’t, what we screwed up, and what lasting impacts it may have on how we use our home. We also confess an annoying side effect of a feature in our home that’s pretty, but less than ideal. Plus, Sherry takes her love of all things woo-woo to another level and John breaks down an issue he has with a certain smart home technology.

You can download this episode from Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, TuneIn Radio, and Spotify – or listen to it below! Then use this page to check out any links, notes, or photos we referenced. Note: If you’re reading in a feed reader, you may have to click through to the post to see the player.

What’s New

Yup, that’s me rocking my bootleg standing desk (thanks random box!) as part of the Furniture Free Living experiment we talked about in last week’s episode.

I’m still undecided about if I’ll embrace the standing desk thing long term, but if I did I’d probably upgrade to this all-white, convertible standing desk.

I also asked Sherry if she’d like an under-desk walking treadmill, but it wouldn’t fit under her current desk and she said she prefers to walk around outside and work on her phone (she has ordered things we need for the duplex, returned emails, and even taken work calls while walking around the neighborhood).

We mentioned watching a few YouTube videos to better understand the Furniture Free movement, and this house tour by Katy Bowman is probably the most comprehensive. She was the one featured in the Good Housekeeping article we linked to last week and a lot of you have suggested her as a good resource for Furniture Free / Natural Movement enthusiasts.

Also for reference, this is the bonus room we talked about introducing some more active elements into. For instance, we have an area behind the couches that would fit a treadmill just fine if we relocated a few baskets full of dress up clothes.

Also, be sure to tell us on social media if you’re joining us for Aquatober or Walktober!

Updates

Thanks to your suggestions (interventions?) I’m happily loyalty card free on my keychain now. I’m relying entirely on entering my phone number, using Apple Wallet, or scanning things that I’ve loaded into the Key Ring app. I’m also trying an app called Pass2u to import some of my loyalty cards in cases where the retailer’s app doesn’t appear to support it.

And I want to add – since people are more invested in this mission than I expected – that the solo key that’s not wrangled in my leather key organizer above is over on that ring by our car fob because it’s for the beach house – so when we get there I can easily detach the whole leather thing and walk around with only my car key and that one key.

I’ve also ordered this “slim wallet” to see if it’ll help me pare down my wallet too. Thanks for the suggestion, Chris!

Can We Just Talk About Smart Locks?

The door shown above is the main place we’ve considered adding a smart lock since it’s the door we use most often (it leads into the garage). We love how the existing lockset coordinates so nicely with the rest of the polished nickel hardware throughout the kitchen, which is why we picked it out. And you can below that it’s even visible from waaaay back in our living room.

Now, imagine that door had one of these big, black chunks of smart lock technology slapped on it? Not to mention that we haven’t found one in polished nickel (they’re mostly satin nickel – occasionally polished chrome). Here are the links to the ones below: 1 / 2 / 3

They also all come in black or bronze, which helps the black plastic cover blend in – and they look best on a dark door that further hides that big black box. Meanwhile our door (and our whole kitchen, for that matter) is so light that we fear it would really stand out.

But here is the August brand smart lock that I’ve been researching. It does require that you purchase a hub with it that plugs in somewhere else (that’s how it gets away with being less of a giant box on the door) and you can buy a keypad too if you don’t want to rely on peope having their phone with them. And the “silver” color probably isn’t a perfect match to polished nickel, but again – at least it’s not very big. Well, it still kind of looks like a Nest thermostat stuck to the door, so I wouldn’t call it tiny…

And lastly, these are the Kwikset locksets we have on our front and back doors which have the SmartKey system where you can rekey your own locks so you don’t have to hire a locksmith to get all of your locks to match. We’ve had them for five years and would highly recommend them.

Listener Question

This is the covered porch area that Ang was asking about (ignore the deck – this photo is from before we tore it off). Those windows behind the outdoor sofa lead into our living room.

You’re probably used to seeing our kitchen and living room look something like this…

But last week I snapped this photo (without a long exposure to help brighten up dark shots) and it really demonstrates how much darker this side of our house can feel in the afternoon when the sun is on the front/western side of our house. Just note how bright the dining room is there on the right side! There’s not a light on in there, it’s just the sun shining in. And you can see how the kitchen isn’t super bright, but the living room is even darker thanks to that overhang.

The funny thing is that splash of light that you see hitting the fireplace is sunlight bouncing off of the bright white doors to our shed (see, aren’t sheds the best!?). But long story short, the lighting can get very weird in our house around this hour.

You can also see in this photo how that covered porch really does become a dark spot in the afternoon since it blocks so much sun. Again, we like having the porch, but it definitely impacts how the inside of the house feels sometimes.

We’re Digging

That’s us playing the kids’ favorite new game: Tenzi (and yes, we’re using coasters to stack our dice)

Our favorite variation is some combination of Tenzi Tower (where you have to stack your dice as your go) and Stealzi (where you can swipe your opponents dice).

We also bought this “77 Ways to Play Tenzi” that suggests dozens of other variations. They also sell a Party Pack version with 6 sets of dice.

This is the jade face roller that Sherry bought (it’s currently sold out, but this one is extremely similar and also highly rated). And here’s an article from Elle about its benefits.

And to see Sherry’s jade face roller in action (and my response video at the end) just click play below (or on YouTube or in our Instagram Highlights).

And here’s the post full of the other woo-woo skin stuff Sherry swears by (including not washing her face, and using things you usually find in the kitchen).

If you’re looking for something we’ve dug in a past episode, but don’t remember which show notes to click into, here’s a master list of everything we’ve been digging from all of our past episodes. You can also see all the books we’ve recommended on our Book Club page.

And lastly, a big thank you to Revel Woods for sponsoring this episode. Visit RevelWoods.com/YHL to find the right hardwood floor for your home, and don’t forget to enter the code YHL10 at checkout to get $10 off your first sample box!

  Thanks for listening, guys!

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post #113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room appeared first on Young House Love.

#113: What You Don’t See In Photos Of Our Living Room published first on https://bakerskitchenslimited.tumblr.com/