#i love anything that lets me talk about music ^-^

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 || 𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐖𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: angel of satisfaction || part two: here

summary_the fallout of your love story with jeong-won and how he begged long enough to drastically change your life.

warnings_ age gap (not specified but reader is in uni), implied sex, cheating, fluff, angst but happy ending , reader smokes, is implied to be American and PLOT TWIST at the end, NO PROOFREADING

notes_ need to watch goblin and the silent sea :( using the salesman tag to avoid the flop allegations

♫ ♪ the worst playlist 4 gong yoo

✰ Index (+ fics here)

୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ———୨ৎ───୨ৎ

The smell of cigars filled your home: you never thought you would deliberately find yourself smoking.

But there you were, looking at the cloudy skyline while you threw out the unhealthy smoke.

Your phone rang and you pulled it out of your pocket.

The ninth call of the day. Three times three is the charm.

“What the fuck do you want?” You neutrally ask, ignoring the beating of your heart.

“…y/n? Thank goddess you’re answering” You roll your eyes. “We need to talk, there’s a lot you-“

“Jeong-won, I don’t want to talk about anything with you” The exasperated tone in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by him, which makes him feel even more stressed out. “In fact, I don’t want you to keep calling me. I don’t want you messaging me. I don’t want to have your follow on social media. I don’t want to hear your music in the clubs. I don’t want to ever fucking see your face again”

“Please, y/n. I don’t deserve to explain myself but-“

“I told you, you only had to pay for that dinner and forget about me. I suppose you didn’t mend things with your wife…” you abruptly cut him off, watching the smoke of the cigar fly out of your place.

“It’s complicated…” he sounds tired, sad and pathetic.

“Yeah… Everything’s that way with you. I just didn’t want to see it” you spit out, hanging up, leaving him to make a mess over the deadline.

You didn’t know how, but you would try everything just to forget him. But when you get out of the apartment the first thing you notice is the public trash can.

There lies the flower bouquet that appeared at your door three days ago. It had been Jeong-won’s first attempt to say sorry.

But so far it wasn’t working.

…

Three weeks into trying to move on. The first days felt like walking throwing a dark alleyway with no return. Tears always find a way to run out of your eyes, but you couldn’t deny, that you felt better.

Your friends helped a lot. Seoun-mi was the only one who said that if Jeong-won insisted, you could let him explain himself. Ruby and Jade immediately said no.

The spring was right around the corner. The rain was slowly coming to an end. The coats were being replaced with sweaters and cardigans. Even the sun cooperated, warming enough to make you go out to run.

Jeong-won crossed the street to walk towards his car. He had submitted a mini EP of music, expected to release mid-spring.

The city looked active, almost as if everyone had been trapped by the winter. He pulled out the keys to his car when he looked up.

His feet dragged him away, noticing a woman jogging down the street.

His face turned in awe after realizing it was you. Your matching grey tracksuit was hard to miss. He remembered you mentioned you were asthmatic, he wondered if you carried your inhalator.

“Y/N!” Jeong-won couldn’t care less if everyone stared at him as if he was insane. He started running hoping to get your attention.

His heart started beating so fast, the rush of seeing your face again, the hope of having you by his side again.

But that didn’t happen, you didn’t even listen. Music was playing so loud through your wireless headphones.

Jeong-won stopped running. He stared at your blurred vision and sighed in dismay.

His phone rang and he answered, still looking at you.

“Are you busy?” In-ji asked.

“No. I’m going home…” the man answered.

…

As the desperation started to burn you, the need to go out also grew stronger.

Ruby and Seoun-mi had seminars, and Jade had a meeting with her major advisor.

The outcome? You dancing all alone in a club.

You couldn’t go to the same one where you used to go. That’s where you met Jeong-won, it was too painful.

But as the alcohol sinks in, you start to feel tipsy, alerting you to stop drinking.

For a second you thought it was already too late but Han Jeong-won was actually there.

He gently pushed people to come to you.

There isn’t even time to feel angry, nervous, or panicked.

“What are you doing here?” You ask loudly.

“I came with a friend…” he admits, looking hopeful.

When you try to sneak away, Jeong-won grabs your wrist and pushes you against his chest. Only to then kiss you.

In his arms, you felt safe.

With his kisses, you felt cherished.

The man who urgently smashed his lips with yours in the middle of the dance floor while music blasted from the speakers was the love of your life.

He couldn't resist the temptation. Couldn't miss the chance and needed to let you know he always loved you. That everything was true.

"Please, believe me..." he pleaded, holding your hands.

"Fuck you, Jeong-Won"

Frivolously, you leave the taste of poison on his lips. His hand tried to grab yours again, but you slipped, leaving him.

Like you had already done before.

But it didn't make it easier, because tears started falling down the first step out of the club.

And in the middle of the cold night, you slip into your coat and start a quiet walk towards home.

You wished you knew he was mourning a life he had before you.

…

Caffè Americano…

The smell fills your nostrils and the warmth of the cup soothes the cold of your hands. Too many thoughts have run through your head over the days. And it was very rushed to say you were over Jeong-won. Walking through the same streets you once walked while feeling in love was devastating, as dramatic as it sounded.

But it’s a good day. You can feel like you are reaching peacefulness and it’s enough.

It’s been a month and a half since you last saw him. The world is not fresh, but it’s still open.

You walk out of the coffee shop, your boots sound with every step you take and the cool air makes the very few cherry blossoms in the trees fall.

Your eyes scan the street; everyone is just there living.

When would you start feeling like yourself again?

Apparently not at that moment. After coming down the little steps of the coffee shop, you look up and meet two people talking, just inches away.

Why was life so cruel? Why do you have to meet your ex-boyfriend and his wife right then and there?

They feel someone standing in their eyes, but they try to act so normal, like you hadn’t seen them. You start walking away. With firm steps and a well-hidden urge to run as well.

His hair looked the same, but his face looked less tired. She looked younger if that was even possible, with longer hair and more casual clothes.

Jeong-won and In-ji stare at each other awkwardly.

“Go after her” she softly tells him. Jeong-won stares back at her with unease before turning back his attention to you.

He knew you wanted to run away the moment you saw them.

“We already met once. What if we met again and she’s in the middle once again?” He can’t deny the anxiety growing as you stop waiting for the traffic lights to change.

“Jeong-won, perhaps we were really never meant to be together…” his face almost turns into a childish pout.

But maybe… In-ji was right.

She was kind, supportive and caring. She would’ve been a great wife. But their marriage started as a contract, Jeong-won never knew her completely.

He never felt the same way he did with you.

“We couldn’t even say ‘I love you’ to each other…” the woman admitted with a sad smile.

Then both turned to look at you.

“Go, explain her everything. And if we see each other again. It’s because we are meant to be friends. But that’s it…” Jeong-won almost felt his eyes turn glassy. But he nodded, gave Noh In-ju a brief kiss on the forehead, and literally started running towards you.

For a moment he thought about

You are still waiting for the green light when you hear him. You spot a cab and make him a sign to stop by you.

“Y/N !” When you look back, you see Jeong-won running, out of breath with his hand waving in an attempt to make you notice him.

You sigh, already feeling stressed out.

“This needs to stop. I can’t take it anymore!” You almost yell as soon as he ends up face-to-face with you. “I know it was just a coincidence and she’s your wife, but it’s not fair. I can’t do this anymore…”

You’re so mentally exhausted that you don’t even notice your eyes tearing up until the cool air makes you aware of the tears.

“Please, don’t cry. If you just let me explain… you and I-“

Boom. You explode…

“YOU AND I, NOTHING!”

It spills out of your mouth. The words even hurt you since you know it’s not true. People around stare but you don’t care.

“This is why I can’t go out anymore. I’m so scared that I will have to see your face again… “ his heart breaks, he can’t stand your tired and hurt tone, your burning cheeks, and your red eyes.

He wants to make it better but doesn’t know how.

“I never wanted to hurt you…” he admits with his broken voice and you find the strength to chuckle. “I will remember that when I’m gone…”

“You’re leaving?” Jeong-won finds himself panicking, already desperate to make you stay.

“If the office approves my petition, yes. I’ll leave in three weeks” his face goes pale. “And even after everything… I can’t hate you, Jeong-won”

Your cab arrives just in time, and you disappear without saying anything else. You don’t even look at him again.

And as the cab drives away, you begin to think about anything else. In hopes of forgetting about everything, starting with his face.

…

2:00 am…

You can’t sleep. It was the following night after a hangover day. Your friends almost cried, pleading you stay at least the rest of the semester. You hadn’t thought about leaving the apartment and all of the good memories built there.

You look through the open curtains at the skyline. The same crystal diving you from the city that once was your lullaby as Jeong-won hugged you and combed his fingers through your hair.

You were so sober that you even questioned if he deserved to explain himself.

What if he was in a bad marriage and he couldn’t get divorced but started seeing you? No… Then why did they look very happy talking to each other the last time?

What if he actually never meant to cheat on his wife but tremendously fell in love with you? No… He still cheated and never told you about it.

But he said he loved you.

And he looked sincere while doing so…

*beep beep*

Your phone makes you touch the ground again.

After hours of being in the dark, the light of the screen blinds you for a second.

Five new messages…

Jeong-won ♡

You never removed the heart beside his name in the contract.

Jeong-won ♡ ׂ╰┈➤

I can’t sleep again.

and not because I’ve taken

the pills again. I miss you like

you have no idea.

I know I hurt you despite not

wanting to. But as I said, it’s complicated.

Jeong-won ♡ ׂ╰┈➤

My first wife and I had issues.

She always wanted to

control me. We almost had a kid,

but we lost it and that shattered my

life once again. So she urged me

to sign a fake marriage, now I see

how twisted and stupid it is.

Jeong-won ♡ ׂ╰┈➤

I was so uncomfortable when this

new woman appeared at my place.

It was already a bad place

and it added up to my neglect. It was

never my intention to cheat on In-ji.

I was only being friendly

that night we met in the club. But the

more I heard you, the more I realized

how lonely I was. It was luck or a fluke

that you were in that burger shop

days after.

Jeong-won ♡ ׂ╰┈➤

I swear to you, y/n, that every

word, caress, and moment I shared

with you was real. Never in my life

I’ve been more sure about

feeling like this. I wanted to tell

you about the marriage, but I

didn’t know how. I thought that

no matter how much I tried to

explain, it would sound terrible.

I was so close to falling in love

with her. But thank goodness

I didn’t, because I would have

settled for so little compared

to you. The marriage contract is

over. That day you saw us together,

it was the first time I saw her

in months. She told me to go after you.

Jeong-won ♡ ׂ╰┈➤

I don’t think it’s enough

explanation. But I hope it’s

enough for you to believe me

when I say I truly love you.

I’m so sure I want to waste as

many years as needed as long as

you forgive me. Please don’t leave,

I need you. Even when I don’t deserve

it.

✓ ✓

You don’t cry, you don’t panic, you don’t even blink. You just lock the phone and set it aside. Your eyes locked on the ceiling as you start drifting off, succumbing to sleep.

…

It could’ve been any other day. But it was raining when you decided to drop the final papers to withdraw from the study abroad program and return home. The apartment was a mess, half of it already packed up inside carton boxes and the other half resting as if nothing was happening.

The decision was not properly made, that was clear.

Your head was a disaster, a swimming mess.

Your life has been quite boring but comforting ever since you entered your teenage years. Never in your wildest dreams, you thought you would be stressing over a failed relationship where the man was married.

Three months after that embarrassing night at the restaurant, you are in a very different place and situation.

The rain has stopped, the sun peaks between grey clouds but the streets are still a wet mess.

You avoid the puddles of water that form across the sidewalk. Your cable earphones get tangled with the bunch of papers in your arms. It’s annoying until you slow down to take them off and hold the papers properly.

You bump into someone. The altercation being a little violent makes you almost fall to your knees, but the stranger holds your shoulders.

And the papers fall from your hands, drenching in the water.

“Fuck…” you whisper, hurrying to kneel, not caring that your knees get wet, you can only save the top papers. You see the hands of the stranger also trying to save them. That’s when you look up at the stranger.

Without a warning you end up smiling, Jeong-won smiles back at the instant. Both of you chuckle.

The half-drenched papers slip from your hands again, completely drowning in the puddle of water.

“Is it too late?” He asks.

“For what?”

“For begging you to stay with me…” your hands snake to grab his. He had a black turtleneck sweater and a jacket hanging over his shoulder. He looked painfully gorgeous.

You think about all those hours you spent re-reading his messages.

“I think you have begged enough” you reply.

Needless to say… you just know it was meant to happen.

Your arms lock around his neck and it’s you the one kissing him. Jeong-won mentally sighs, feeling relieved and renewed.

You can feel his arms embracing you tightly, as if scared you would slip away from him again.

Out of breath, he rests his forehead against yours, witnessing how the pain slowly washed away.

“It’s okay…” you almost whisper, he nods, briefly smiling. “Jeong-won, let's go home”

You knew he understood. Both of you knew home was wherever the two of you were together.

…

The heat was slowly building up. The windows started to remain open all day and night. Jeong-won was slightly stressed out, he had an upcoming trip and was in a mall, outside of a candle store.

His phone was almost burning when he realized the day was indeed hot.

“Jeong-won?” He turns only to encounter In-ji, smiling brightly at him.

“In-ji…”

His ex-wife appeared upon him, looking gorgeous. She looked happy, with her long hair now dyed chocolate brown.

“How are you?” He asked giving her a quick hug. “I haven’t seen you in… a long time”

It had been a year, to be exact.

“What happened with y/n?” She asks straight to the point and Jeong-won chuckles. “Why are you laughing?”

“It was bad… Remember?” In-ji nods, then he points at a woman squatting while looking at candles inside the store.

It was you, wearing a sundress that hunched over the floor. A purse hanging from your shoulder with many keychains. And when you stood up and turned to the side, In-ji noticed your left arm was also busy, holding a newborn baby.

“HAN JEONG-WON, YOU HAD A BABY?” the man starts laughing while nodding. “Oh my goddess! Congratulations!”

“I can’t believe it myself” he admits after accepting the hug In-ji gave him.

It felt nice to see her. She was right, they functioned better as friends.

“It’s a girl, right? What’s her name?” His eyes brightened at the subject.

Jeong-won had a baby with you…

“She has two names. June Iseul” the name of the baby rolled over his tongue and he found himself smiling again.

June Iseul was born in the peak of the winter, weighing and measuring less than expected, with matted raven hair and grey irises that were slowly becoming like yours but shaped just like her father’s.

“That’s adorable!” In-hi admitted, feeling awe at the sight of the baby in your arms, wearing a rainbow onesie.

“And I guess you married her?” Jeong-won huffed.

You never denied how June Iseul had been an accident. She came to slow down your academic career, she also made you gain weight and lose some hair but her arrival amidst winter gave you half a year to recover. You felt amazing and June Iseul was growing healthy.

Jeong-won was happier than ever. He was just a little worried about the reason why they were in the mall. Your parents were slightly mad and very confused as to why you left home being single and a full-time student and you were going to visit them being a part-time student, with a boyfriend and a baby.

Jeong-won was nervous, excited, and eager to marry you.

“Well… happens that y/n doesn’t fully believe in traditional marriage. I’ve asked her on multiple occasions but she keeps saying that we shouldn’t push it yet” Jeong-won admits rolling his eyes, she chuckles, turning her head to see you invested in the newborn section. “She’s very smart”

“She is…” he agrees, joining the chuckles and smiling like an idiot at the sight of you with his daughter.

“Well I didn’t have a baby, but I got married” In-ji revealed, making Jeong-won almost gag.

“What? When?”

“Two weeks ago. I met him in Thailand and… I don’t know. I’m just… very happy” Both smiled, feeling in peace knowing everyone had moved on. “I’m happy for you, Jeong-won. I can tell you are living a dream”

“I’m also happy for you…” both smiled at each other.

…

An hour later, you are done shopping and the most important thing is in your hands; a stroller for June Iseul.

Jeong-won pushed the stroller as both of you walked towards a pasta restaurant.

“It sucks that you got me pregnant before my twenties ended. I should be in the club!” you object, exaggerating. You can hear Jeong-won huffing in disbelief.

“You literally go out to the club every week!”

He was right. Your life pretty much remained the same.

“And that’s one more reason I love you so much”

Even with the arrival of June Iseul, Jeong-won had no problems with staying with the baby while you attended classes or decided to hang out with your friends. He used to have a lot of free time, but now… he found the perfect routine.

“What are we ordering?” He asks, grabbing a menu as you both wait your turn to order and pay.

“You pick the pasta and I want a pizza with truffle oil. What do you say?” You negotiate with a smile.

He gets so lost in your beautiful face that he ends up smiling back like an idiot.

“What?” You ask again, chuckling at his silly face. “Nothing, I just love you so much”

You blush. And before you can say anything.

You hear some coos.

“I’ll order, you pick a table and feed Junjun” Jeong-won reassures you, knowing very well his daughter was demanding and using the silly nickname he had given her.

You take a seat at a secluded table and turn the stroller so you can uncover it.

June Iseul was awake.

“Hello, little blossom” she smiled and it melted your heart. “I know you’re hungry…”

She was very small and soft. She had that baby smell but as her mother, you thought your baby smelled perfectly compared to the others.

She locked her eyes with yours as you breastfed her, not caring about the attention because your back was facing the world, and the table was secluded enough to cover you.

June Iseul’s pale skin resembled her father’s, making her look a little like a porcelain doll. Like the one your friend Jade gifted her from Japan months ago.

The doll was very sophisticated and rested along with some baby books and toys.

“Your father isn’t very good at conversations with strangers, right?” You ask your baby as you pull her out of the stroller and into your chest. Your boyfriend seemed to awkwardly be exchanging words with the woman taking the order. It made you chuckle.

After a long night talking and him telling you every single detail of his life, everything changed.

Just when he got a little house in a modest neighborhood and asked you to move in, you accidentally got pregnant.

What seemed like a challenge turned out to be easier than expected. Jeong-won had been the perfect partner all along.

Ignoring the judgment from your peers in classes after you waddled around campus with a baby bump, everything was perfect.

Also ignoring all the insults you threw to Jeong-won while he held your hand in the delivery room, everything was perfect.

So seeing him come with the receipt of the order and taking June Iseul from your arms to burp her made you realize how lucky you were.

How fucked up things were until they weren’t.

You have a boyfriend begging you to marry him and a perfect baby that looks like him. Both are in wait to visit your homeland and parents for the first time.

The flash of your phone pulls Jeong-won out of his trance with June Iseul.

“Are you taking us a picture?” he asks.

“Yes, you both look so adorable” you admit looking at the screen. June Iseul perfectly locked eyes with his father and you captured it in a picture.

You would print it, use it as your lock screen, and send it to your friends.

Ruby immediately replies in the group chat, then Jade, and lastly Seoun-mi.

Rubz <3 ׂ╰┈➤

DILF + adorable baby spotted!!!!

Jadore ׂ╰┈➤

Is that the onesie I bought her?

June Iseul my baby 🩷🩷🩷

misu :) ׂ╰┈➤

Tell Jeong-won he’s not

holding her neck properly:)

misu:) ׂ╰┈➤

I love her <3

you ׂ╰┈➤

Everyone gets In-N-Out and

animal fries after we come

back to Korea (cold ofc)

you ׂ╰┈➤

For being such a good

trio of aunts 💋

You lock your phone with a smile on your face as you stand up.

“Where are you going?” Jeong-won asks.

“To wash my hands, silly” You lean forward to kiss him briefly and you can feel him smiling amidst the kiss.

It’s inappropriate but since the table is secluded, you feel playful enough to add tongue and have a little touch with his.

And then you remember your daughter is in the middle of you two and had just burped.

“She spilled some milk…” Jeong-won hurriedly says, breaking the kiss.

You chuckle and kiss your daughter’s matted hair.

“Then clean her, Jeong-won,” you say before leaving to finally wash your hands. As your steps grow further, you can hear your boyfriend talking in Korean with June Iseul.

“Your mother is a little spitfire. That’s why I want to marry her…”

There’s an embarrassing smile on your face when you look at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

___________________________

Taglist: @stargirl-mayaa @czarinera @dovediva @dreamersparacosm @girlythings111 @love2fangirl @migueloharassoulmate @fangirl4lifetime @wonallofme @otakusimp1 @muchwita @preppyfella @xcinnamonmalfoyx

[rosemariiaa]

~The Party & The After Party~

𐙚— pairing: Paige x Azzi

𐙚— rosie’s note: why hello there..yes rosie wrote pazzi smut kill me this is the first and last okay it’s not that much bc i’m testing the waters, basically inspired by the song in the tile by the weeknd, happy reading lovelies ��

𐙚— themes: language, sexual content (public sex?), jealous p and az

𐙚— taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @bueckersbitch @makethemhoesmad @imaginespazzi @ashortyluvsports @absolutelydreadful @elliesglock @azzibuckets @sierrale8ne @ldapper

The music pulses through the air, heavy and slow, pressing against Azzi’s skin like the heat of too many bodies packed into one space. It’s not really her scene—never has been—but Paige had convinced her to come, her voice coaxing, her fingers tracing slow, persuasive circles against Azzi’s wrist. Come with me, baby. Just for a little bit. I wanna show you off. She begged.

Azzi had rolled her eyes, but she’d come anyway. She always does.

Now, Paige is standing in front of her, still close enough that Azzi can feel the warmth of her body even through the buzz of the room. Paige’s fingers slip under the hem of Azzi’s top, just for a second, a quick brush against her skin before she pulls away.

“I’ma go talk to Lyss and Dijonai,” Paige says, leaning in so Azzi can hear her over the music. “I’ll bring us back some drinks, kay?”

Azzi nods, already missing the feeling of Paige’s body, the way she makes all of this—the lights, the noise, the people—easier to deal with. Paige’s gaze flickers over her, something soft beneath the smirk she always wears.

“You good?”

Azzi huffs, nudging Paige with her elbow. “Go already.”

Paige grins, her fingers grazing Azzi’s wrist one last time before she disappears into the crowd. Azzi exhales, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly hyperaware of how many people are around her, how many unfamiliar faces blur together under the neon glow.

She lets her eyes follow Paige for a moment, watching the way she moves—easy, fluid, like she belongs here. She’s already talking to her teammates, her hands gesturing as she laughs at something one of them said. Azzi lets herself relax. She can wait.

And then—

“Didn’t take you for the type to come to these things.”

The voice is smooth, edged with amusement, and when Azzi turns, there’s a woman standing too close—tall, brunette, unfamiliar.

Azzi straightens, her shoulders tensing before she can help it. “I’m not.”

The woman smiles. “Then why are you here all alone?”

Azzi shifts her gaze, scanning the room for Paige. She’s about to tell this girl that she’s not alone, that her girlfriend will be back any second, but when she finds Paige, she’s laughing.

With someone else.

A worker, by the looks of it. Some girl in a black T-shirt, grinning too hard at something Paige just showed her on her phone. And Paige is eating it up, laughing just as much, her head tilting back, her hand brushing against the worker’s shoulder like it’s nothing.

What the fuck?

Azzi’s stomach tightens, instinct curling in her chest, but she swallows it down before it can become anything sharp. She’s not doing this. Not here.

So she breathes in. Exhales.

And then she turns back to the girl in front of her, schooling her expression into something lighter.

“You never answered my question,” the brunette says, tilting her head. “Why are you here?”

Azzi lifts a shoulder, gaze flickering down for just a second before she meets the girl’s eyes again. “Why are you?”

The brunette smiles, slow and knowing, and extends her hand. “Name’ Sophia. I play for the Aces.”

Azzi takes her hand, brief and firm. “Azzi.”

“I know,” Sophia says, her grip lingering just a second too long before she lets go. “I’ve seen you play.”

Azzi hums, noncommittal, before letting her gaze slide past Sophia’s shoulder, back to where Paige is—

Watching.

Their eyes meet across the room, and Azzi can tell, instantly, that Paige has seen everything. The way Sophia leaned in just slightly. The way Azzi hadn’t immediately shut it down.

But instead of coming over, instead of pulling her usual hey, baby and wrapping an arm around Azzi’s waist, Paige smirks.

And then she pulls out her phone.

Azzi barely has time to process what that means before her own phone buzzes in her pocket. Her fingers hover over her phone as Sophia walks away to go get them drinks, her sneakers squeaking against the polished floor, disappearing into the crowd. Azzi exhaled slowly, the weight of the charade pressing against her chest. She glanced over to the other side of the room, where Paige was still leaning casually against the counter, her grin wide as the worker she was talking to laughed at something Azzi couldn’t hear. Paige didn’t look tense. Didn’t look bothered. Just relaxed, like she had the whole night ahead of her to charm whoever was in front of her.

But Azzi knew Paige better than that. The way Paige tilted her head ever so slightly, her eyes flickering back to Azzi even while she smiled—it wasn’t nothing. Paige was watching her. Testing her.

Azzi bit her lip and unlocked her phone.

Azzi couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her chest this time. It was quick and soft, but it felt good. She slipped her phone back into her pocket just as Sophia reappeared, two drinks in hand and a bright smile plastered across her pale face.

“Miss me?” Sophia asked, stepping closer and offering Azzi one of the glasses.

Azzi took it with a polite nod, her eyes flickering back to Paige one last time. Paige was watching again,no surprise, her head tilted, her expression unreadable except for the faint smirk playing on her lips.

Azzi met her gaze evenly, raising the glass just slightly in a silent toast before turning back to Sophia.

“Not for long,” Azzi said smoothly, her voice steady as she let the weight of Paige’s stare roll off her shoulders. She took a sip of the drink and smiled at Sophia, keeping her expression just warm enough to keep the game going.

If Paige wanted to play games, Azzi could play too.

Sophia stepped in closer to Azzi, the faint scent of her perfume lingering in the space between them. Her voice dropped as she leaned toward Azzi’s ear, her hand brushing lightly against Azzi’s arm. “Y’know,” Sophia murmured, “I don’t usually do this, but—”

Before she could finish, a firm tap on her shoulder interrupted the moment.

Sophia turned around, a touch of irritation flashing across her face as she asked, “Yeah?”

Standing there, towering over her by a good two inches, was Paige. The confidence in her stance and the sharpness in her eyes made it clear she wasn’t here for the bs. Paige didn’t say anything at first—just raised her eyebrow before muttering, “Excuse me,” and deliberately bumped past Sophia, sliding between her and Azzi.

Her hand found Azzi’s waist like it was second nature, her fingers pressing possessively into the fabric of her shorts. She leaned in close, her voice low but teasing as she asked, “You miss me?”

Azzi sighed, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “Not particularly,” she muttered, but she didn’t move Paige’s hand.

Behind Paige, Sophia’s eyes widened in surprise. She stood there for a moment, clearly trying to piece together what was happening. “Wait,” she said, looking directly at Azzi. “I thought you were here alone?”

Paige sighed dramatically, turning around with an exaggerated eye roll. “Damn,” she said, her tone thick with sarcasm. “You still here?”

Sophia’s mouth opened as if she was about to argue, but before she could get a word out, Paige cut her off smoothly. “Look, it’s obvious she’s not here alone. So why don’t you go ahead and find someone else to bother, yeah?”

There was a beat of silence before Sophia’s face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. She glanced at Azzi one last time, waiting for her to say something, but Azzi simply raised an eyebrow, silently sipping her drink. Defeated, Sophia muttered something under her breath and walked away.

Once she was gone, Azzi finally turned to Paige, brushing her hands off her waist. “What’d you make my friend leave for?”

Paige scoffed, crossing her arms as she looked down at Azzi. “Yo friend? You ain’t want her to stay. C’mon now.”

“Whatever,” Azzi mumbled, shaking her head. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Paige’s lips curled into a mock pout as she stepped closer, pulling Azzi back in by her waist. “Aw, you seem jealous, baby,” she teased, her voice dropping into a playful drawl. “Was it ‘cus I was talking to her?”

“Fuck off, Paige,” Azzi shot back, trying to sound annoyed, but the faint blush creeping up her neck betrayed her.

Paige tilted her head, her grin widening. “Baby, I wasn’t even doing anything.”

Azzi scoffed, setting her drink down on the table nearby. “Yeah? Sure didn’t look like it. You were having a grand ole time, laughing your ass off.”

Paige’s grin softened into something more genuine as she leaned back slightly, her hands still firmly on Azzi’s waist. “Oh, that?” she said, her tone almost amused. “You mean when me and the bartender were talking about you?”

Azzi frowned, her confusion flickering across her face. “What?”

Paige chuckled, clearly enjoying herself. “She’s a fan, Azzi. She got so excited when she realized who you were. Said she’d been waiting all night to make a drink for the Azzi Fudd.”

Azzi blinked, her annoyance faltering. “What?” she repeated, quieter this time.

Paige’s smile turned softer as she continued, “She even showed me this old picture she had of you two as kids, y’all went to the same school I guess. You both had chocolate all over your faces. I couldn’t stop laughing, so I showed her one of mine from back then. It turned into a whole thing which kinda made me forget about our drinks.”

Azzi rubbed her face with her hands, a groan slipping out as guilt settled in her chest. “oh,” she muttered, dropping her hands to look up at Paige. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Paige interrupted, but there was no bite to her words. She pulled Azzi closer. Now their chests were pressed together, and Paige leaned down, her lips brushing Azzi’s ear as she whispered, “You know I don’t want anyone else but you, princess.”

Azzi’s breath hitched, her heart hammering against her ribs. Paige was so close, her breath carrying the faint scent of mint and Shirley Temple, her Dior cologne wrapping around Azzi like a second skin.

Paige leaned back just enough to meet Azzi’s eyes, her voice low and deliberate. “I think I’ve made that clear, haven’t I?”

Azzi couldn’t do anything but nod, her hands instinctively gripping the front of Paige’s shirt for balance.

The corner of Paige’s mouth quirked up, her confidence radiating as she murmured, “Good.”

Azzi swallowed hard, trying to pull herself together. “Let’s go,” she said suddenly, her voice firmer than she expected.

Paige tilted her head, her grin turning mischievous. “Go where?”

“To the car,” Azzi replied, already pulling Paige’s hand to lead the way.

Paige followed without hesitation, the smirk never leaving her face as she let Azzi guide her.

—

Azzi didn’t let go of Paige’s hand as they made their way through the crowd, her grip firm. She walked ahead, her pace steady, but there was an urgency in the way her fingers tightened around Paige’s. Paige followed with a smirk tugging at her lips, watching Azzi’s determination from behind, her ponytail swaying with each step.

When they reached the car, Azzi made her way to the passenger side, her hand still in Paige’s. Paige started to move ahead, her free hand reaching for the door handle. “Here, I got it—”

Before Paige could finish, Azzi spun her around, pinning her back against the car with surprising strength. The cool metal pressed against Paige’s back, but the heat of Azzi’s body in front of her erased it immediately.

Azzi didn’t waste a second. Her lips crashed onto Paige’s, her hands gripping the blonde’s hips as if anchoring herself. Paige’s initial surprise melted into something far more eager as she let out a quiet sigh, her hands instinctively finding their way to Azzi’s waist.

Azzi deepened the kiss, her fingers sliding to the back of Paige’s neck, pulling her closer as her tongue brushed against Paige’s lower lip before slipping into her mouth. Paige groaned into the kiss, her fingers tightening on Azzi’s hips before sliding lower.

“Damn,” Paige mumbled against Azzi’s lips, her voice slightly breathless. Her hands gripped the curve of Azzi’s ass through her shorts, and Azzi gasped softly in response, her breath hitching before muttering, “Fuck.”

Paige chuckled against her mouth, her fingers pressing more firmly as she whispered, “What’s that, princess?”

Azzi didn’t answer, too caught up in the way Paige’s soft lips moved against hers. Her voice came out as a broken mumble between kisses, “P…need you,” her words trailing off as her teeth grazed Paige’s bottom lip, her tongue following close behind.

She broke the kiss, her breath heavy as she looked up at Paige, lips swollen and slightly parted. Paige smirked, the glint in her eye making Azzi’s heart pound harder and her core wetter. The blonde leaned in, brushing her lips against Azzi’s ear, her voice low and teasing.

“Tell me, princess,” Paige murmured, her hand still gripping Azzi’s waist, keeping her firmly against the car. “How bad do you need it?”

Azzi swallowed hard, her hands trembling slightly as they rested on Paige’s shoulders. Her big, doe-like eyes met Paige’s, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip before she answered softly, “So bad.”

Paige licked her lips, the corners of her mouth curling into a wicked smile as she tilted her head. “Yeah?” she teased, her voice dripping with control. “Lemme make sure.”

Azzi’s brows furrowed in confusion, her breath hitching as Paige’s hand slid from her ass to the front of her shorts. Paige’s fingers unbuttoned them, slipping beneath the waistband and pushing past the thin fabric of Azzi’s underwear.

The moment Paige’s fingers brushed against her, Azzi’s eyes widened, a soft gasp leaving her lips. She instinctively pressed her forehead to Paige’s shoulder, her entire body shivering as the blonde’s fingers explored her slick heat.

“Fuck..,” Paige muttered, her lips brushing against Azzi’s temple as her hand moved slowly. “You’re so wet.” Her voice was low and heavy, sending a shiver down Azzi’s spine. “Why’s that, huh?”

Azzi let out a shaky breath, gripping the back of Paige’s shirt as if to steady herself. “Because of you,” she mumbled, her voice breaking slightly as she fought to keep her composure. Paige tilted her head, her smirk deepening as she pressed her palm more firmly against Azzi’s clit, making the brunette gasp sharply. Paige’s voice was low, her breath tickling Azzi’s ear as she asked, “Who?”

Azzi’s fingers curled tighter around the fabric of Paige’s shirt, her chest rising and falling with each shaky breath. She tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat, her lips trembling.

“P-Paige,” she finally stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper. “Fuck… P-please, I need it.”

Paige’s smirk only grew, the sound of Azzi’s desperate plea sending a rush of heat through her. Without saying a word, Paige slid Azzi’s underwear to the side, her fingers finally feeling her completely.

“Shit,” Paige groaned, her head dropping slightly as she leaned closer. The slickness she felt against her fingers made her chest tighten, and she couldn’t help but let out a low, satisfied moan. “God, baby,” she muttered against Azzi’s lips, the words barely audible as she pressed a searing kiss to her mouth.

Azzi whimpered into the kiss, her hands sliding up to grip the back of Paige’s neck, holding her closer as her knees threatened to give out. Paige didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss, groaning again as Azzi’s hips shifted slightly against her hand.

“You’re so fucking wet,” Paige murmured against her lips, her voice dripping with both desire and satisfaction. “All for me, huh?”

Azzi could only nod frantically, her breath hitching as Paige’s fingers moved in tight circles on her, each touch igniting a fire that spread through her entire body. “Only for you,” she whispered, her voice breaking, as her eyes fluttered shut. Paige smirked into the kiss as she rubbed azzis clit faster, fingers sliding up and down her wet making Azzi moan into her mouth, her soft sounds vibrating against Paige’s lips and only spurring her on.

Azzi’s hands gripped Paige’s shoulders tightly, her breathing uneven as she tried to form words. “P-Paige,” she gasped, her voice shaky. “W-what if someone c-comes out?”

Paige chuckled lowly, brushing her lips against Azzi’s ear as she whispered, “Don’t worry about that, baby. No one’s coming. Just… fuck—” she groaned, moving her fingers faster and Azzi closer, the heat and wetness making her head spin. “You feel so fucking good.”

Azzi whimpered, her head falling forward onto Paige’s shoulder as her legs wavered. But Paige wasn’t about to let her go anywhere. Her other hand gripped Azzi’s waist firmly, keeping her pressed against the car as she dipped two fingers deep inside her without warning.

Azzi gasped sharply, her head snapping back as her lips parted in a soft cry. “Oh my god,” she whispered, her nails digging into Paige’s shirt as her body shuddered against her.

Paige’s lips curled into a satisfied smile as she watched Azzi’s reaction, her own breath hitching as she felt how tightly Azzi gripped her fingers. “That’s it, baby,” she murmured, her voice thick with desire. She leaned closer, brushing her lips along Azzi’s jaw before whispering, “You’re so tight, fuck. Taking me so good mama.”

Azzi tried to respond, but all that escaped her lips was a broken moan as Paige began to move her fingers, slow and oh so deep . Her hips instinctively bucked forward, and she squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of Paige’s fingers.

“Look at me,” Paige demanded softly, her free hand tilting Azzi’s chin up so their eyes met. The intensity in Paige’s gaze made Azzi’s stomach flip, and her lips quivered as she tried to hold back another moan.

“P-Paige,” Azzi whimpered, her breath hitching again as Paige curled her fingers just right, hitting that same spot Paige was always so good at finding. “F-fuck… please.”

“Please what?” Paige teased, her voice a low rasp as she leaned in, her lips grazing Azzi’s. “Tell me what you need, princess.”

Azzi’s head tilted back against the car, her lips trembling as she gasped, “Need to cum.. Please, I—”

Paige cut her off with a deep kiss, her fingers moving faster now, her thumb rubbing tight circles on Azzis puffy clit, each motion making Azzi’s soft cries grow louder despite her attempts to stay quiet. Paige smirked against her lips, knowing Azzi was losing the battle of keeping herself composed. Paige could feel her tightening around her fingers, the brunette’s body trembling against her as her breathing grew uneven. Paige smirked, her lips brushing along Azzi’s jawline as she whispered, “You’re so close, aren’t you, baby?”

Azzi whimpered, her nails digging into Paige’s shoulders as her hips rocked forward, chasing the building orgasm. “Y-yeah,” she gasped, her voice shaky and breathless.

Paige pressed a kiss just below Azzi’s ear, her fingers moving faster, deeper, as she tilted her head to murmur, “C’mon, Az come on my fingers. You’ve been so good—so damn good. I wanna feel you.”

Azzi moaned, the sound desperate and needy as her head fell forward onto Paige’s shoulder. Her thighs trembled, and she could barely hold herself up as Paige’s words pushed her closer to the edge.

“That’s it,” Paige encouraged, her tone low and soothing, though there was a roughness in it that only fueled Azzi’s need. “You feel how good you’re doing? I’ve got you.”

Azzi whimpered again, her grip on Paige tightening as her breathing hitched. “P-Paige,” she stuttered, her voice breaking. “I—oh my god—I’m—”

“Y’gonna come for me, aren’t you?” Paige murmured, her breath hot against Azzi’s skin. She pressed her thumb hard against Azzi’s clit, rubbing in time with her thrusts as she added, “Come on, baby, give it to me”

Azzi’s eyes squeezed shut, and her body went taut as a sharp cry escaped her lips. Her climax washed over her in waves, her hips bucking as Paige held her firmly, coaxing her through it with soft murmurs.

“There you go,” Paige whispered, slowing her movements but keeping her fingers inside Azzi, riding out every shudder and tremble. “You’re so perfect, baby. So fucking perfect.”

Azzi sagged against Paige, her forehead pressed to Paige’s neck as she tried to catch her breath. Her body was still trembling slightly, and she let out a soft, shaky laugh. “You’re too good at that,” she whispered weakly, her voice muffled against Paige’s skin.

Paige chuckled, sliding her hand out gently and holding Azzi close. “I know ,” she countered, pressing a kiss to Azzi’s temple. “C’mon, let’s get you in the car before someone really does come out here.”

[h-sleepingirl]

Dolly in the Art Gallery: A Charmed 2025 Scene Log/Recap

“Art is how we decorate space, and music is how we decorate time.”

I first heard this Jean-Michel Basquiat quote in a rope class from Barkas, in the context of how we play within both space and time in a kink scene. I think about it frequently, especially as I feel more and more passionately about the brutally human impulse to create art.

I have been coming to hypnosis events since 2013, before Charmed existed -- my first event was packed with my own manic energy, held in a dungeon where people could hypnotize me basically at will. No hotel staff, no sneaking back to a private room. I developed a reputation as an aesthetically pleasing subject, often put on display in subtle and overt ways.

I have grown up in this community. Essentially my entire adult life has been spent involved in going to events and cons. I'm 33 now, and as Charmed celebrates its 10th year I've perhaps been unconsciously influenced to reflect on myself aging.

I feel so much older than that 21 year old exhibitionist. I'm more reserved, quieter, more selective, and certainly smarter. I like who I'm becoming, but I do miss parts of who I used to be -- that confidence, that energy. 

On Friday evening I looked at the schedule and saw there was going to be a Gallery of Living Art -- it's been a staple at Charmed for a number of years, but I'd never done more than peek inside.

I thought to myself: “Why not try to get in touch with that playful younger self? Why not show everyone who I am nowadays? Why not live out a fantasy?” 

Surely I’m not too old. Surely I haven’t grown out of this.

The time comes and I connect with my partner about it. He knows that one of my absolute favorite things is being totally frozen. We decide against anything complicated. No one will touch me or trigger me or anything like that. It’s the most “negotiating” we've maybe ever done, but I still leave all details to him. I tell him: “I was really just thinking this is an opportunity for me to sit blank and still for a long time.”

We walk into the room, and it’s overwhelming. People are setting up intricate exhibits with lots of creative interactions. There is a sheet we need to fill out to describe what our “art” is, which my partner writes on cryptically.

“Dolly can't talk. Duh…”

“Dolly is precious -- don't touch!”

Under “Artist”, where he is meant to put his name, he writes a question mark.

I am so in love with him, watching his mind work on the spot.

We find a place in the loud room and look at each other. We are a fluid force of nature in a bed together, spontaneous and wild. This planning doesn't feel like us. This hypnosis isn't a formality, per se, but it just feels sort of like “We both know how this is going to end on some level -- so how do we spend this time?”

He gingerly removes my name tag and starts murmuring to me. 

Being a dolly is such a luxurious treat that the moment he suggests it, I crumble, gripping his shirt with my weak little fingers, moaning too softly to be heard by anyone but him.

He poses me. He fixes my gaze blank and forward. He lets me practice standing and sitting. This kind of rehearsal is unfamiliar for us, and I almost relish doing something that feels a little awkward.

I am a dolly when he leaves me, frozen and posed, but I know it is going to take a couple minutes to settle in. I am a dolly getting comfortable, a dolly with twinges of self-consciousness. After a couple minutes he walks me over to a different chair, one that is highlighted by empty space around it, and I sit, and I know this is truly where I am supposed to be on display.

Finally, total stillness rushes over me like pure relief. 

I sit, and I stare, and I don’t do anything else. My mind is blank, and sometimes all there is inside my head is “I’m a dolly, I’m a dolly,” in my little dolly voice. It is pure, simple bliss.

People begin to come up to me to look at me. I am a good dolly and I am silent and I do not move even my eyes. They patiently read my sign and then observe me. I cannot change my body position to be any more or less appealing to them, I cannot hide nor flaunt myself.

Some people say things to me, little compliments and appreciations, and I can’t really process their words. The little dolly voice in my head screams in pleasure when I’m spoken to and given attention.

I have ADHD, I’m addicted to my phone, I’m a fidgeter. But there is nothing that carries the unique pleasure of being frozen and still. It reminds me of Quaker meetings, of spiritual silence and meditation that makes one feel time itself as though it has a sensory texture.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel talks about the Jewish sabbath as proof that it is not intuitive for us to sanctify time. But nevertheless as Jews we must learn to do it to make shabbat holy every week. Shabbat is “a cathedral in time,” he says, and I’ve been thinking about how much that applies to my experience of hypnosis. Hypnosis is not a physical object. We may sometimes have props but we cannot touch trance and it leaves no marks. It is time that is the sacred dimension in hypnosis, the time that we set aside (“kadosh” in Hebrew) with another human being.

Heschel says we are slaves to space and material things. And in this moment I feel like I have gotten as close as I can to releasing that. I am not even moving my physical body within the physical world. I am just relishing each passing second of stillness, building my cathedral in time.

Of course, sometimes I think sacred space and objects are very important. After all, I am in a space that is incredibly rare, that only exists very briefly, that I had to travel at length to get to.

And I am an object -- art -- inside of it. I am literally decorating the space, as Basquiat would say.

Am I thinking all of this as I sit there motionless? No, not with any sophistication. I truly feel blank. But I am feeling flashes of this as abstract mental sensations that I will untangle later.

Something else strikes me very quickly that I observe within. When people walk up to look at me, something inside me tenses up. I realize that I am unconsciously preparing myself to talk to them. I have been coming to cons for so long, and especially since beginning to write books I always meet a ton of new people every year who come up to me to talk, which I adore. But right now I am in a space where I literally cannot have a conversation with anyone. I don’t even have my nametag on anymore -- my partner was so clever to remove it.

It is the opposite of vending books, where I sit in a chair and am helpless in the sense that I must engage in conversation with the people who come up to meet me. Now, I literally cannot talk to anyone, and they cannot talk to me, and most people may not even know who I am.

It is a hit of extreme objectification, more real than it has ever felt. I am not sleepingirl -- I am a dolly. “Who” I am doesn’t matter. I am art.

My partner also is not sitting there receiving compliments for me. He is nearby, in eyesight, just watching. But he’s anonymous too. And there is something about this mutual anonymity that makes me feel even prouder about us as a couple. There is no performance of who we are. I don’t know how to describe it, but obviously it feels more authentic than public play usually ever does. Like a little secret we are sharing a corner of.

And he looks ever the artist, sitting back and watching me. I feel very strongly that this little scene isn’t the art -- it’s me. Our relationship is what’s really on display. All the work he’s done over 7 years of brainwashing me, real work on my personality and identity, my wardrobe, every single way I express myself and who I am. The people coming by are seeing his bimbo, his dolly, his [x] -- without necessarily knowing who either of us are.

The rhythm is addicting. My mind babbles my self-given dolly mantra over and over, I luxuriate in the stillness, and I stare. I only can sort of half-see with darkened vision, though my eyes are wide. I love when people notice me sitting there -- their expressions change as they observe me. They step into my metaphorical space, which is eerily silent compared to the revelry of the creative demonstrations that fill the room. They are no longer “being entertained,” and no one can communicate to them what I am doing -- they must engage with me out of their own curiosity.

Sometimes they decide to talk to me. I can’t process most of it, but I remember a few interactions.

Someone says, “What an excellent dolly.”

Someone else notices that I’m wearing a bracelet that says “bimbo,” and says, “Even the details on this one are exquisite.”

Someone else says, “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen sleepingirl play before.”

That last one hits me in the gut with memories of a time now long past: Play in public spaces was universal at cons; I couldn’t move from one place to another without someone dropping me into trance; absolutely everyone knew what I looked like when hypnotized.

Even now as I am on display, I have a mask on, and the people can’t see my gently parted lips.

It is a rush of emotion that is very complex for my simple little dolly head, but it goes away.

For a long while, I just exist as a thing in bliss while the room -- the whole world -- bubbles with activity around me. 

Eventually even as I sit frozen and blank, a little timer starts ticking in my head -- I could sit here for much longer, but I don’t want to make him wait for me, and I have other things I want to do tonight.

Reading Heschel has been helping me release some of that odd panic that bubbles up when I awaken from trance -- the feeling that magic is slipping through my fingers, memories are slipping out of my mind, and I can take no memento from it. I sometimes write, draw, or make music to try to capture the things I feel in hypnosis with my partner. I think it is from that impulse to be able to touch and hold hypnosis, to make it a “thing” in space as opposed to something of time.

But I do think there is something else, just a human drive to create art about this transcendent experience that we engage in together. I need to create art to try to communicate the perfect way I don’t move and my eyes go glassy. I need to express my emotions, my desires, my dreams, my love. I am only human, a human blown away by this very human thing we do that we call hypnosis.

Only my partner sees it, and he does see so much into the soul of it for me. But this is exactly what I have wanted -- a chance to publicly communicate the beauty of what he and I do. To make this art by performing it, living it. To engage in a human act of creativity by having my humanity stripped away from me.

I am a bimbo, a dolly, I am art -- and that doesn’t go away when I get up to tell him I am done sitting here. I am his art. I am a manifestation of his creativity in this world, and he has a beautifully creative mind which I love so dearly.

This is serious for me, this is real for me, this is so highly personal and jealously guarded as my own precious identity.

Ten years ago I laid my head on his lap and he transformed my eyes into dolly eyes and told me that someday he would turn my whole body into a dolly body. And as we laid together in a bed after the Gallery on Friday he talked about how I had those dolly eyes again in that room. But to me, it’s not about being a dolly, or even being a bimbo. It’s about creating art together, art with a power imbalance. And fucking respecting that as sacred and exciting.

I don’t have much else to say except extreme heartfelt gratitude to Mazirian for running the Gallery, and everyone who came by to look at me and said nice things to me and joined me in my world for just a little while. 

(If you’re curious, I was sitting there for about 30 minutes.)

[lara4eclipze]

» Gameboy

sypnosis: if crying was fun, ill be having the time of my life — if loving you was a jump, yeah, i probably died a hundred-ten times

warnings: angst, fluff, implied relationship, jelousy, comfort and etc

talks: I'm in an angst mood so.... smut and fluff reqs might take longer

taglist: @ohmyhaely @nyssalvr @vrtualstar @c-yerim @jellaaa @nakylvr @chuugetmesohigh

lara had taken you as her plus one in a hybe artists party — the night was truly a dream, music blasted all throughout the venue as lara was hand in hand with you

yet lara was close to her friends to be specific yunjin — hugging, pet names even small playful jokes, you drowned out your simmering jealousy with a smile and hugs

you thought to yourself that they were just close — maybe you are just less social, perhaps lara was just missing her friend — you are practically arm candy at this point anyways you shouldn't overthink it

yet as you stand at the corner of the venue you could argue is the best spot all you can see is her and lara, her and lara having fun — when you're the one she's supposed to be having fun with, you're the one she should be with

lara barely recognized your presence the rest of the night — she paraded around with yunjin clinging to her arm, laughing about a joke that was too cheesy for you to remember, what you do remember is a feeling that you didn't belong there, you didn't like the place nor the people

music blasted through the speakers, as everyone did cheers to katseye — as you ran up to congratulate your girlfriend, a hand pushed you away a guard to be specific "hybe idols only sorry" the guard stated, "I'm lara's plus one you can..." you looked again at the desi girl — there she was again ms,huh hugging lara and screaming loudly over the music, "nevermind, thank you" you cut off the rest of the sentence walking off

you sat at the table once occupied with the katseye girls now only you and a couple of unfinished plates of food — you didn't care about anything anymore, you wanted to come home — hug lara and ask for reassurance, that you were still who she wanted

of course, you fought yourself to stop overthinking don't mind it, yet the feelings overwhelmed you — you couldn't speak to anyone cause you were practically no one in this room, and you couldn't stand to look at the red-head at all

"hey you alright?" you heard the filipina ask you — snapping you out of your thoughts — you couldn't make out her features well because of the colorful lights blaring all around yet you knew she was worried

"yeah..just drained" you lied, the older girl knew you, you lived for parties like these — that the main reason you met lara, "come with me let's get some drinks" sophia eases and with enough convincing you agreed

you two walk to the bar, sophia orders a mango sunset for both of you — a mocktail cause shockingly the leader didn't like alcohol much

the feeling of loneliness left for a moment — as you and sophia talked, "hey i know lara can be so much sometimes — but she's never been better... you've changed her you know?" sophia says before bidding a short goodbye walking back to the middle of the room to interact with some illit members

you let the words sink in for a bit — has lara changed? has she changed for the better?, sophias words really strung a chord in your heart

until you felt warm tears paint your face — the trickled down like shiny diamonds embezzling your face, you really couldn't handle not being with lara neither

you've changed her the same way she changed you, you wipe away the tears yet they wouldn't stop falling, embarrassingly fast

"my love? where have you-" lara mutters before taking a look at your face "my god are you crying?!, are you alright my love I'm sorry i was just so caught up earlier" lara sputters an apology even though she didn't know what she exactly did to extract such emotions from you

you shush the girl only clinging to her — hiding your face at her neck as you inhale the familiar scent of home — safety and love

"i love you" you both say — lara nuzzles into your hair, smelling that coconut and vanilla shampoo she first offered you

lara would never know what hurts you — cause you didnt even know what did hurt you, its all a part of growing together — improving and nurturing each other even if that meant hurting

[goshikisbaee]

Haikyuu Characters As Your Boyfriend headcanons ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)

Content: Fluff

[ Tendou, Lev, Sakusa, Hoshiumi, Mad Dog ]

———

SATORI TENDŌ

He’s Your Biggest Cheerleader

Tendou hypes you up over everything. Whether you just got out of bed or did something impressive, he’s right there with an over-the-top reaction: “Ohhhh?! Look at you, absolute legend!”

Loves Teasing You

He lives for getting a reaction out of you. Expect a lot of playful pokes, dramatic gasps, and teasing nicknames like “mon petit choco ball” or “my adorable little shrimp.”

But He Knows When to Be Serious

As much as he jokes, he immediately drops everything the second you need him. If you’re upset, he’ll quietly sit next to you, letting you lean on him while he strokes your hair.

He’s Weird, and He Owns It

Tendou doesn’t care what people think of him, but he’s always watching how others treat you. If someone makes you uncomfortable, his eerie smile turns sharp, and he’ll make sure they regret it.

He Talks About the Future with You

Even though he acts carefree, he gets emotional thinking about a future where you’re not in his life. When he mentions growing old together, his voice is softer, as if he’s scared to jinx it.

Movie Nights Get Chaotic

Watching movies with Tendou means ridiculous commentary, throwing popcorn, and reenacting dramatic scenes. He’ll randomly pause the screen to make silly observations: “This guy? Total villain vibes.”

Insists on Late-Night Talks

He refuses to let you sleep if he’s feeling chatty. At 2 AM, he’ll roll over and whisper, “Do you think birds ever get bored of flying?”

He Writes You Dumb Love Notes

Expect random sticky notes on your stuff that say things like “Property of the most gorgeous human ever.” Some are heartfelt, but most are chaotic: “If you read this, you have to kiss me. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

Holds Your Face When He Kisses You

He cups your cheeks with both hands, grinning before pulling you into a deep kiss. Sometimes, he just boops your nose instead and laughs when you pout.

He Loves PDA

Tendou is not shy about showing affection. He throws an arm around you, nuzzles into your shoulder, and loudly announces, “This right here? This is my absolute favorite human.”

He Gets Jealous in the Goofiest Way

If someone flirts with you, he’ll dramatically fake cry: “Babe, how could you do this to me?!” before pulling you into a hug, mumbling “Mine.”

He’s Not Used to Feeling Truly Loved

As confident as he seems, deep down, he has insecurities from how people treated him in the past. When you tell him how much you love him, he laughs it off, but you see the flicker of disbelief in his eyes.

He Gets Overwhelmed When You’re Gentle with Him

The first time you softly cup his face and say “I love you” without teasing, he doesn’t know how to react. He swallows hard, blinking rapidly before hiding his face in your shoulder.

He Remembers the Little Things About You

Your favorite snacks? Got them stocked. That random story you told him once? He brings it up months later. He doesn’t just listen—he remembers.

He Dances with You Out of Nowhere

You could be making coffee, and suddenly he’s twirling you around like it’s a ballroom. No music? No problem—he’ll hum something ridiculous and dip you dramatically.

He Loves Making You Laugh

Nothing makes him happier than hearing your laughter. He’ll do anything—bad impressions, ridiculous faces, even tripping over his own feet—just to see you smile.

He Lets You See His Vulnerable Side

It takes a while, but eventually, he opens up about how he felt isolated in the past. When he does, his voice is quiet, and his grip on your hand is tight, like he’s afraid you’ll leave.

He Gets Super Excited About Random Things

One day, he’ll wake up and be like “We should build a pillow fort today.” Or “What if we got matching socks?” His energy is unpredictable, but you love it.

He’s Your Ride-Or-Die

No matter what, Tendou always has your back. If someone hurts you, his usual playful demeanor turns cold as he leans in and whispers, “You really don’t wanna mess with them.”

He Loves You Loudly and Unapologetically

Tendou doesn’t love in halves—he loves you with everything he has. He doesn’t care if people stare when he runs up to hug you or if his affection is too much. You’re his person, and he’ll never let you forget it.

———

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

Slow to Open Up, But Deeply Loyal

Sakusa doesn’t trust easily, but once he lets you in, he’s unwaveringly loyal. He’s not the type to say “I love you” often, but when he does, it’s always deeply sincere.

Germaphobe Affection

At first, he avoids casual touches, but as he grows comfortable, he finds small ways to show affection—holding your sleeve instead of your hand or bumping his shoulder against yours instead of hugging.

Protective in a Quiet Way

He won’t openly admit it, but he worries about you constantly. If you’re in a crowded place, he subtly stands between you and strangers. If you’re sick, he nags you about taking medicine but won’t leave your side.

Dry, Sarcastic Humor

His humor is razor-sharp and deadpan. “You’re dating me? Must be tough.” You know it’s his way of teasing, especially when you catch the amused glint in his eyes.

Low-Key Jealousy

Sakusa doesn’t get openly jealous, but he will stare down anyone who flirts with you. He won’t say anything, just silently seethe and hold your hand a little tighter.

Subtle but Deep Affection

He’s not one for grand gestures, but he shows his love in quiet ways—bringing you your favorite tea, fixing your hoodie strings when they’re uneven, remembering every little detail you tell him.

Prefers Texting Over Calls

He’s not big on phone calls, but he always responds to your texts, even if it’s just a simple “Okay.” If he sends you a “Take care” out of nowhere, it means he’s thinking about you.

Secretly Loves When You’re Clingy

He acts like he’s annoyed when you lean on him or cling to his arm, but if you pull away, he frowns slightly and mumbles, “…I didn’t say stop.”

He Cleans Up After You Without Complaining

If you leave your stuff everywhere, he sighs but organizes it neatly instead of scolding you. If you tease him about it, he’ll just say, “If I don’t do it, who will?”

Acts Tough but Melts for You

He keeps up a cool, indifferent image, but if you cup his face and tell him he’s handsome, he’ll turn red and grumble, “Shut up.”

He’s a Great Listener

Sakusa isn’t a big talker, but he listens to you like you’re the most important person in the world. He remembers things you said months ago, bringing them up when you least expect it.

Won’t Let You Get Away with Lying

If you say you’re fine when you’re clearly not, he gives you a long, unimpressed stare. “Try again,” he says, waiting until you tell him what’s really wrong.

He Always Checks the Weather for You

If it’s cold, he makes sure you have a jacket. If it’s raining, he hands you an umbrella before you even think about it. He’ll never admit it, but he loves taking care of you.

Prefers Comfortable Silence Over Small Talk

He’s not a fan of unnecessary conversation, but he loves just sitting beside you, enjoying each other’s presence without feeling the need to fill the silence.

He’s Low-Key Clingy When He’s Sleepy

When he’s exhausted, he loses his usual grumpiness and just quietly leans against you. If you move, he grumbles “Don’t go yet,” keeping a loose grip on your wrist.

Stubborn, But Would Do Anything for You

Sakusa doesn’t like being told what to do—unless it’s by you. He’ll pretend to argue, but in the end, he always gives in with a quiet, “…Fine.”

Late-Night Talks When He Can’t Sleep

On rare nights when he’s restless, he’ll text you at 2 AM with a simple “You up?” If you are, he talks about everything on his mind in a way he never does during the day.

He’s Unintentionally Romantic

He doesn’t think of himself as romantic, but the way he softly brushes hair from your face, remembers your coffee order, or mutters “I’ll always be here” is more meaningful than any grand gesture.

He Needs Reassurance More Than He Lets On

Sakusa pretends he doesn’t care what people think, but deep down, he worries he’s too much—too distant, too complicated. When you tell him you love him as he is, he just nods, but his grip on your hand tightens.

He Loves You in His Own Way

Sakusa isn’t loud about his love, but it’s in everything he does—the way he waits for you without being asked, the way he softens around you, the way he lets you into his quiet little world when no one else ever has.

———

KŌRAI HOSHIUMI

Endless Energy

Dating Hoshiumi means zero dull moments. He’s always on the move, bouncing from one topic to another, dragging you into spontaneous adventures.

Wants to Impress You Constantly

He loves showing off for you, whether it’s his volleyball skills, his speed, or even random tricks like flipping a bottle perfectly onto a ledge. “Did you see that?! I’m amazing, right?”

Gets Flustered When You Compliment Him

He acts cocky, but the moment you genuinely tell him he’s incredible, he short-circuits. He turns pink, waves you off, and mumbles, “Yeah, yeah, I know…” but secretly, your words mean everything to him.

Competitive About Everything

Game night? He has to win. Eating a snack? He’ll take a bite of yours just to “claim victory.” If you challenge him, be ready—he’ll give it his all.

He’s Small but Fierce

If anyone disrespects you, he’s instantly ready to throw hands. His height doesn’t stop him from stepping up to people twice his size with zero hesitation.

Surprise Attacks of Affection

One second, you’re minding your business, and the next, he’s jumping on your back or wrapping his arms around you from behind. He thrives on catching you off guard.

Calls You Cute Nicknames (Even Weird Ones)

Expect random nicknames like “My Little Seagull” or “Shortcake” (even if you’re taller than him). He’ll grin every time he calls you one.

Needs Constant Attention

He will pout if you don’t text him back fast enough. If you’re on your phone but not talking to him, he’ll dramatically sigh: “Wow, ignored? In my own relationship?”

Shows Love Through Playful Insults

Instead of saying “I love you” outright, he’ll smirk and say, “Tch, I guess you’re kinda cool.” But if you ever doubt his feelings, his teasing stops, and he gets serious real fast.

Steals Your Food Without Regret

You’ll turn your head for one second, and suddenly, your fries are gone. When you glare at him, he just grins. “You love me, so it’s fine, right?”

Super Dramatic When Sick

He’ll act like he’s on his deathbed over a tiny cold, clinging to you and groaning, “This is it… Tell my team I was amazing.” But if you’re sick? He’s at your side in a heartbeat, fussing over you nonstop.

Protective Without Being Overbearing

He won’t tell you what to do, but if someone’s bothering you? He’s suddenly standing in front of you, arms crossed, radiating pure menace. “You got a problem?”

Can’t Sleep Without Saying Goodnight

Even if he’s exhausted, he will call or text you before bed. If he falls asleep mid-text, you’ll get a string of gibberish followed by “…zzz” LOLL

Loves Physical Contact but Pretends He Doesn’t

He acts cool, but he secretly loves it when you hold his hand or ruffle his hair. If you hug him out of nowhere, he melts—then immediately denies it.

Gets Jealous but Won’t Admit It

If someone flirts with you, he’ll get extra clingy and competitive, casually reminding them (and you) that he’s way better than any competition.

Loves Watching You Watch Him Play

When he knows you’re in the crowd, he plays extra hard. Every time he scores, he sneaks a glance at you, making sure you saw.

Hypes You Up No Matter What

He’s your personal cheerleader, screaming about how amazing you are at the top of his lungs, no matter how small the accomplishment.

Will Try to Scare You for Fun

He lives for sneaking up behind you and shouting “BOO!” just to see your reaction. But if you ever manage to scare him? He yells and insists he totally wasn’t scared.

Low-Key Soft for You

For all his loud, playful energy, he has quiet moments too—like resting his head in your lap after a long practice, sighing happily when you run your fingers through his hair.

Loves You Unconditionally

Hoshiumi is chaotic, competitive, and energetic, but when he looks at you, his eyes soften. No matter how much he jokes around, he adores you, and he makes sure you know it.

———

LEV HAIBA

Overexcited Puppy Energy

Lev is like a giant golden retriever—he’s constantly hyped about everything, especially you. If you so much as smile at him, he grins back like you just gave him the best news of his life.

Terrible at Subtlety

If he likes something about you—your hair, your laugh, the way you talk—he says it immediately. No filter. “Your nose is so cute. I just noticed! Wow, I love it.”

Loves Picking You Up

He will lift you off the ground just because he can. If you protest, he pouts. “But you’re so tiny! Let me carry you!” (Even if you’re tall, he still tries.)

Shameless with PDA

Lev loves showing affection in public. He’ll wrap an arm around you, kiss your cheek randomly, or proudly declare “That’s my partner!” to anyone within earshot.

Forgets How Big He Is

He leans on you like he’s a small guy. Spoiler: he’s not. You’ve nearly toppled over multiple times because he flops onto you without thinking.

Dramatic About Everything

If you ignore his texts for five minutes, he sends “RIP me” and dramatically collapses when he sees you next. If you compliment someone else, he gasps, “BETRAYAL.”

Obsessed with Taking Cute Pictures Together

He has an entire album of just you two. If you’re not in the mood, he pouts. “Come on, we need to capture our beauty!”

Fails at Being Smooth

Lev thinks he’s suave, but he’s so awkward. “Hey… do you, uh, wanna—uh, wait, what was I saying? Oh! Date! Yeah, I love dating you!”

Randomly Sings to You (Terribly)

His voice is awful, but he doesn’t care. He sings random made-up songs about how much he loves you. “I loooove my amazing partner, they’re soooo cute and smol—”

Jealousy? Immediate Panic Mode

If someone flirts with you, he freaks out. He either sulks dramatically (“Am I not enough?!”) or gets clingy (“Hey, babe, let’s go over there far away from them”).

Tries to Teach You Volleyball (Fails)

If you’re not a volleyball player, he insists on teaching you. But he gets way too excited, accidentally spikes the ball at you, and immediately panics.

Insanely Protective, Even When Unnecessary

“Wait, did that person just bump into you? Do I need to fight?” Spoiler: They did not. But he’s ready to defend your honor anyway.

Writes Your Name All Over His Notes

His notebooks are full of volleyball sketches and your name written over and over. Yaku once caught him and made fun of him for days.

Loves Buying You Gifts (Even If They’re Weird)

His gifts are… interesting. One time, he gave you a tiny plush because it reminded him of you. Another time? A giant volleyball.

Can’t Stop Talking About You

His teammates all know about you. They roll their eyes every time he starts a sentence with “Did you know my partner—” because yes, Lev, they know.

Forgets to Text Back but Then Spams You

If he forgets to respond for hours, he suddenly sends 50 texts in a row: “SORRY BABE” “I STILL LOVE YOU” “PLEASE DON’T DUMP ME” “ARE YOU OKAY”

Needs Constant Reassurance

Lev acts confident, but deep down, he worries he’s too much. If you tell him you love him, he beams like the sun—but if you say it while holding his face? He melts.

Horrible at Keeping Surprises

He gets too excited and spoils things immediately. “I got you something!” “Lev, it’s not my birthday yet.” “…Oh. But I wanna give it to you now.”

Loves Falling Asleep on You

He’s huge but sleeps like a cat on your lap. The downside? His legs always end up on top of you.

Loves You Loudly and Completely

Lev doesn’t do anything halfway. He loves you with his whole heart, loudly and proudly. Even if he’s clumsy, awkward, or over-the-top, his love is real, and he never lets you forget it.

———

KENTARŌ KYŌTANI

Love at Full Intensity

Mad Dog doesn’t do things halfway—when he falls for you, it’s hard. He might not always know how to express it, but his love for you is raw and overwhelming.

Awkward with Affection

He’s not great at soft romantic gestures, so when he tries to be sweet, it’s usually super clumsy. Like, instead of saying “I miss you,” he’ll just grumble, “Tch, where have you been?”

Absolutely Horrible at Flirting

His idea of flirting is just… intense staring. He doesn’t realize he looks like he’s about to fight you instead of confess his feelings.

Gets Jealous but Tries to Hide It

If someone gets too close to you, he clenches his fists, scowls, and mutters under his breath. He won’t start a fight, but his energy screams possessive.

Cannot Handle Compliments

The second you praise him, he turns bright red and either changes the subject or mutters, “Shut up.” But later, you’ll catch him secretly smiling to himself.

Not Good with Words but Shows Love Through Actions

He’s not the type to say “I love you” every day, but he will walk you home, carry your bags, and casually throw his jacket over you when it’s cold.

Defends You in a Second

Someone talks badly about you? Instant death glare. Someone bumps into you? He’s already stepping forward like he’s ready to throw hands.

Surprisingly Shy with PDA

Despite his rough personality, he gets super stiff when you grab his hand in public. But if you let go, he’ll glare and mumble, “Who said you could stop?”

The Type to Blush After Kissing You

He acts all tough, but if you suddenly kiss him? He short-circuits, turns away, and says something dumb like “Whatever, it wasn’t that great.” (Spoiler: It was, and he’s dying inside.)

Protects You Like It’s His Job

He’s always watching out for you, even when you don’t notice. Crossing the street? His hand is automatically on your back. Walking in a crowd? He moves people out of your way.

A Little Bit Clingy (But in Denial About It)

If you don’t text him for a while, he won’t say anything—but he will send you a single “?” to let you know he’s thinking about you.

Has No Idea How to Comfort You (But Tries His Best)

If you’re upset, he panics. “Uh—do you need food? A fight? A nap?” Eventually, he just pulls you into a tight hug and stays quiet, because that’s all he really knows how to do.

Horrible at Surprises

He sucks at keeping secrets. If he buys you a gift, he’ll shove it at you immediately like, “Here. Take it. Now.”

Thinks About You More Than He’d Ever Admit

Even during volleyball practice, he catches himself wondering what you’re doing. If his teammates tease him about it, he denies everything.

Gets Competitive Over the Dumbest Things

If you beat him at a video game, he demands a rematch. If you say another player is cool, he immediately starts listing why he’s better.

Has No Social Filter

If someone annoys him while he’s with you, he has zero hesitation in saying, “Can you leave? You’re ruining my time.”

Secretly Loves It When You Ruffle His Hair

If you do it in public, he complains (“I’m not a kid!”). But if you do it when it’s just the two of you, he closes his eyes and leans into it.

Randomly Drops the Cutest, Most Genuine Comments

He’s not great with words, but sometimes, out of nowhere, he’ll say something like, “You’re the only person I don’t get tired of.” And it’ll hit way harder than a simple “I love you.”

Has No Idea How to Be Romantic (But He Tries)

Dates with him are either super intense (“Let’s go to a trampoline park and race!”) or super awkward (“…What do couples even do?”). But no matter what, he always has fun just being with you.

Loves You in His Own Way

He may not be the most traditionally romantic boyfriend, but when he loves, he loves hard. He’s rough around the edges, but he’s fiercely loyal, deeply protective, and always yours.

———

[diekleinesuesse]

Being best friends with Felix:

Being best friends with Felix would be an absolute dream. It wouldn’t just be about the fun, bright moments though there would be plenty of those. It would also be about the quiet, comforting presence he brings, the way he makes life feel a little warmer, a little softer, even on the hardest days.

The Beginning of the Friendship

At first, Felix might be a little shy, especially if he doesn’t know you well yet. He’d be polite, kind, and considerate, but there would be a sense of caution until he starts feeling comfortable. Once that happens, it’s over for you. He’s going to attach himself to you like a koala and never let go.

Felix is the type of person who forms deep emotional connections, so becoming his best friend wouldn’t be a casual thing. He’d be all in investing his time, his love, and his energy into making sure you feel valued. He’d remember the little things you like, send you pictures of random things that remind him of you, and always check in to see how your day is going.

The Daily Life of Being Felix’s Best Friend

Felix is someone who thrives on making others happy, so expect a lot of cute gestures. If he hears you had a bad day, he’s immediately showing up with your favorite snack, a playlist of songs to cheer you up, and probably a warm hug. He loves baking, so you’d get to try all his homemade treats first, whether they’re perfect or a complete disaster.

“Try this one! I think I messed up the sugar, but it’s still edible, right?” he’d say, watching you closely as you take a bite. If you pretend it’s bad just to mess with him, he’d dramatically gasp and pretend to cry.

Felix would be the type of best friend who constantly hypes you up. If you’re feeling insecure, he’d shut that down real quick.

“What do you mean you’re not good enough? Do I need to fight you? Because I will,” he’d say, crossing his arms, his freckles scrunching up as he frowns.

But more than anything, he’d make sure you know how much you mean to him.

The Chaos of the Sunshine Energy

Felix has a soft, comforting side, but let’s not forget he’s also chaotic. If you’re his best friend, you’re not just getting cozy, warm Felix; you’re also getting the Felix that dances like a maniac to random music, who suddenly starts singing in a deep voice just to freak people out, and who laughs so hard at dumb jokes that he ends up on the floor.

“Did you see that meme I sent you at 3 AM?” he’d ask, as if that were a normal thing to do.

“You mean the one with the cat wearing sunglasses and breakdancing? Yes, Felix. I saw it.”

“And?”

“It changed my life.”

Felix would 100% drag you into random challenges, whether it’s trying to learn an impossible TikTok dance, doing “rock, paper, scissors” with the punishment of eating something disgusting, or making an overly dramatic music video to a song you both love.

And if you ever prank him? Oh, he’s coming for revenge. Be prepared for unexpected jump scares, your phone mysteriously disappearing, or waking up to find a ridiculous filter added to all your photos.

The Deep Conversations

For all the silliness, Felix is also incredibly introspective and deep. He’s not afraid to have emotional conversations, and if something is bothering you, he’d be the first to notice.

“Talk to me,” he’d say, voice gentle, sitting next to you even if you don’t feel like speaking.

He wouldn’t force you to open up, but he’d make sure you knew he was there. And if you ever needed to cry? Felix would let you, holding your hand or hugging you tightly, whispering soft reassurances.

He’d open up to you, too about his struggles, his fears, his dreams. And when he does, you’d realize that for all his sunshine and warmth, Felix also carries a lot on his shoulders.

“I just want to make people happy,” he’d admit. “But sometimes, I wonder if I’m enough.”

And that’s when you’d remind him, just like he always reminds you, that he is more than enough.

The Protective Side of Felix

Felix is a softie, but don’t let that fool you he’s also fiercely protective. If someone ever upsets you, he’d be ready to throw hands.

“Do I need to go talk to them? Because I will,” he’d say, eyebrows furrowed.

If you were nervous about something like an important event or a big decision he’d be right by your side, holding your hand (literally or metaphorically) and telling you you’ve got this.

Felix wouldn’t let anyone disrespect you, not even yourself. If he hears you being too hard on yourself, he’ll shut it down immediately.

“Hey. My best friend is amazing, and if they don’t see that, then they don’t deserve to be around you.”

Spending Time with Stray Kids

Being Felix’s best friend would also mean getting close to the other Stray Kids members. They’d tease Felix endlessly about how much he talks about you.

“Felix, do you have any friends besides [Your Name]?” Han would joke.

“Nope,” Felix would reply shamelessly.

The members would treat you like family, and Felix would love having you around during their schedules. You’d get to watch their rehearsals, joke around with them backstage, and be part of the fun.

And let’s not forget game nights at the dorm. Felix would absolutely drag you into Mario Kart battles, Just Dance competitions, and chaotic board games. If you beat him, he’d dramatically fall to the floor, claiming he’s been betrayed.

A Forever Friendship

At the end of the day, being best friends with Felix wouldn’t just be about the fun and chaos. It would be about unconditional love, support, and knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone who will always be there for you.

He’d be the kind of best friend who never lets you forget your worth, who makes life feel like an adventure, and who reminds you that even in the darkest times, there’s always light.

Because that’s who Felix is. A sunshine personified, a best friend anyone would be lucky to have.

[frostbiteisthenewjackieshauna]

Hiiii, can you please write your dating shauna hc please? thank youuu 🤓

shauna shipman my cutiepie!! (sfw, pre crash/no crash!au)

Lemme take it from the top

she’s wayyy too shy to ask you out

she kind of eyes you all the time and can barely pay attention in classes that you have together

and Jackie bugs her to just ask you out!!

what’s the worst that could happen? you saying no?

but that is what she feared most

yearning was something she did great, and she’d rather do that then deal with rejection, so she just stays quiet

which does turn out to be very difficult once your history teacher assigns seats to everyone

and just her luck, she’s right next to you!!

believe me, paying attention was hard at first too, but now it’s downright impossible

that’s why she starts doing worse in history

which is surprising, she’s a straight A student

so the teacher gives her a tutor

you!

your guys’ first tutoring session was awkward as hell

you thought she was rude (even though she never seemed that way to you) since she barely talked or memorized anything you said

or tried to teach her

she’s a little embarrassed too, it’s usually her that tutors others

however with a big push from Jackie she does apologize, saying she’s always weird around new people

which is true, but this was a bit different, definitely

still, the tutoring gets funner and less dreaded, and it ended pretty fast- as soon as Shauna broke the ice with you, she could finally pay mind to class

and you two do become friends

you’re one of her only friends, really

until she blurts it out while you were having coffee

“I mean I do like you. Not as a friend.”

she said, trying to convince you she was joking

it was obviously not supposed to come out, but you guys were rambling about falling in love with friends

and she YAPPED

which made that thought that was supposed to stay buried deep come out

and you went through with it until the rest of the date hangout

and then kissed her before getting out of her car

it was a hurried peck, neither of you being all that experienced

she gave you those eyes.

you know the ones.

which made you kiss her again

I mean how could you not??

this time it was deep and passionate, and it turned into a full blown makeout session with you in her lap

the kind of sesh that you both enjoyed so much you felt no need to go further

after that day, she was officially your girlfriend!! yay!!

“I’ve wanted to make you mine for a long time.” you said

“You- yeah uh, sure! Of course, yeah, yours.”

you and Jackie became total besties, playfully making fun of Shauna together

you probably heard Jackie saying “Get a room!” more then any other words in history

but on a serious note, you knew how important their friendship was and made no effort to get in the way of it

but Shauna just wanted to be around you always

calls you over to just chill and do nothing

she just relishes being in your presence, no matter what you do or who else you’re with

short lil makeout sessions while waiting for Jackie to emerge from the house when you go to pick her up for school in the morning

also I cannot stress this enough: wearing. her. flannels.

she has a bizarre amount of them

and she notices that they keep going missing…

doesn’t even try to ask for them back, because she melts as soon as she sees you in one

plays you her “weird” music

is ecstatic when you end up liking it

baking together!!

i have a feeling she’s an amazing baker

you guys do it for fun, to try out recipes or sometimes for charity!!

in the beginning she only lets you measure dry ingredients but relents as soon as you pout

most of your dates are intimate like that

she loves being personal, maybe not secret but does like privacy

not big on PDA at all

the most she’ll do is hold your hand

back to date night though

since dating you, she got so much closer to Tai and Van because you keep going to double dates!!

omg Tai and you listening to them ramble about their nerdy shit

it’s so cute really, you guys shoot each other knowing looks across the table

other then them, you meet all of the team

but still, Tai, Van, and Jackie stay your favorites (other then Shauna obviously)

also! half her journal entries are about you

how pretty you looked, something you’d told her, writes down little details of the stories you tell her that she knows you’d appreciate her knowing

she’s completely devoted to you, and can do nothing to help it

(you feel the same way)

and you love how cute and shy she is around you

especially in the beginning

but later on, she can be more then bold, trust

overall, dating Shauna would be super soft and intimate in every way shape and form

it’s not all that thrilling, but cozy and comfortable

[billiesguitar]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

Stalker!billie x innocent!reader || ch.1 ||

warnings - stalking(don't do this plz)

(Billie's pov )

Beautiful.

that's all i could think as i watched her from a distance. she had no idea that i knew every little thing about her, that i studied her every move, her every smile, her every tear. she was so oblivious to the world around her, so lost in her own little bubble, that she never noticed how i was everywhere. to be completely transparent, i don't know what compels me to do this, following her around, taking pictures, obsessing over her, i don't know why i do it, i just do it. it's like some sort of magnetic pull, something inside of me that screams for more of her, something that keeps me coming back for more.

it had been our first week of university, orientation week, where we hung out, met new people, got situated, and whatever else normal people did. i decided to take a... different approach, not by choice, but by necessity. i had noticed her from the moment she stepped into the auditorium for the welcome assembly. she had the kind of aura that drew everyone in, made them question who she was, made them insecure, made them ask her out without knowing her properly. i just sat back and took notes on every little gimmick or bit or habit she had.

her name was y/n. i had followed her from class to class, lurked in the shadows as she went to the library, sat outside her dorm at night as she studied with the light on, and watched her as she slept. i know, it's creepy, but i couldn't help it, i needed her to be safe, needed to make sure she was okay. she was just so... innocent like bambi or something. i had to protect her from all the shit that was out there in the world.

every night i'd go home and write down everything she did, everything she said, every person she talked to, and i'd analyze it all, trying to piece together the puzzle of y/n. i have a whole notebook in my room dedicated to her, filled with pictures and notes and writing. she's 5'0, doesn't drink much out of personal choice, she loves to paint and sing, she likes painting her nails different colors, she loves coffee and shopping and music and has 3 siblings, 2 brothers and a sister. whenever she's nervous she touches her neck or when she's excited she swings on her feet. i know most things about her and she still knows nothing about me.

-

first day of classes, i decided to take a seat next to her in our english lit class. she had no idea who i was, of course, but she gave me a polite smile as she sat down. i took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. this was it, the closest i had ever been to her. the scent of her perfume filled my nose and i couldn't help but lean in slightly to get a better whiff. she smelled like vanilla and coconut, a heavenly combination that i had never smelled before.

"hi," she said softly, her eyes scanning my face for recognition. "i think i've seen you around. i'm y/n."

"oh," i said, playing it cool, trying not to let my excitement show. "i'm billie. it's nice to meet you."

y/n nodded, her eyes flicking back down to the book in her lap. i studied her from the corner of my eye, noting the way she played with the hem of her shirt as she listened to the professor drone on about the syllabus. she was so focused, so intense, that it was hard not to be captivated by her.

the class eventually ended and she began to pack up her things.

"need help with anything?" i offered, hoping she'd say yes.

"no, i'm good," she replied with a smile. "but thanks for asking."

as we walked out of the classroom together, she turned to me.

"do you know where the art building is?" she asked.

i nodded, "yeah, i can show you."

y/n's eyes lit up with relief and she fell into step beside me. we talked about our majors and hometowns, and i found myself getting lost in the sound of her voice, the way she talked with her hands, the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about painting. it was like nothing else in the world mattered except for her.

when we got to the art building, she thanked me and went inside. i watched her go, feeling a strange mix of happiness and sadness. happiness because i had just had a real conversation with her, and sadness because i knew i had to let her go, for now.

but i couldn't stay away for long.

that night, i found myself outside her dorm again, watching her through the window. she was singing to herself, her voice a soft melody that floated out into the night air. i leaned closer, trying to make out the words, feeling a warmth spread through me as i did so. it was a strange feeling, one i had never felt before.

the next day, i was sitting outside her dorm when she walked out. she looked surprised to see me.

"hi again," i said, smiling.

"hi billie," she said, looking around nervously. "what are you doing here?"

"reading," i lied, trying to seem casual. "what about you?"

"oh, i'm just going to grab some lunch," she said, looking down at her watch, "i've got class in like 10 minutes so i've gotta rush" she added, looking a bit flustered. "see you around."

"see ya," i said, watching her go.

but i couldn't stay away. i followed her to the cafeteria, watching her from a safe distance as she ate with her friends. she laughed at something one of them said, and i felt a pang in my chest. i wanted to be the one making her laugh like that, the one she confided in, the one she leaned on.

as the days turned into weeks, our interactions became more frequent. we'd run into each other in the halls, at the library, and even at the coffee shop on campus. each time, she'd greet me with a smile, and each time i'd fall a little bit more in love with her.

but i knew i had to keep my distance. if she ever found out what i was doing, she'd be terrified of me. so, i contented myself with watching her from afar, taking in every little detail, every little gesture, and storing it away in the back of my mind.

—————

AU Masterlist

[itsonlyfanservice]

I will probably combine the answers to the complaints and questions of the pjms in this one long post. I probably didn't answer something, but it's okay. I'm just combining the general complaints. Whoever likes to read long scrolls - welcome.

I apologize in advance if the text contains logical errors or incorrect words - I don't speak english :3

So, the first thing I will simply say on behalf of myself, as a jkkr (I can't take responsibility for all of us) - I am extremely saddened that a certain part of you, pjms, deny any warm relations between jkk. You support Jimin so much in everything, you will stand up for him like a mountain. But no. As for his relationship with the person he loves (here you can insert any meaning: as a brother, as a bandmate, as a lover, as a colleague, as a close person - any will do) - here your support breaks down. Yes, I'm still mad at you because of ays, how you unite in groups to vote against this show)) That's how furious you are with the unit of jkk that you are ready to start harming your own supposed bias, which makes you exactly the same haters as tkkrs, which we will talk about later.

And now, to the reading of complaints and questions.

Jimin gets hate because of jikookers.

Let me clarify, did jkkrs do something that made everyone furious and hate Jimin? It's not Jimin and Jungkook who go on vacation together, it's not Jungkook and Jimin who are close to each other's families (the same Jimin plays with Jungkook's brother, and Jimin's father singles out only the two of them for some reason), it's not the jkk who constantly communicate together in this special manner, it's not the jkk who comfort each other in a manner that's very different from all the other members, it's not Jungkook who makes Jimin thirst traps or is ready to run to him right in the middle of the night, and it's not Jimin who puts Jungkook's eyes in his music video (come on, tell me that this is another coincidence and the eyes are actually anyone's, not Jungkook's). It's not all this that makes the tkkrs burn with jealousy and hate Jimin, inventing hundreds of legends about his disgustingness, but the jkkrs who are touched by this and support jkk. Am I understanding your idea correctly? Well, ok. I'll take all the blame then 🤡

We (pjms) have been fighting against tkkrs for so many years, and you only fuel their hatred.

Here I will ask a counter question, why weren't you seen earlier, in the past years, when jkkrs fought tkkrs? Why did we often get excuses from you and from ot7 "these are wars between stupid shippers"? The most you did was run and write how wonderful Jimin is, and tkk are worthless compared to him, even together. Well, now we have what we have. And don't pretend that you are special knights who single-handedly defend Jimin and everyone should thank you for it. The reasons for the hatred itself have already been written above. It is not because of jkkrs. We've been fighting with tkkrs for a hundred years, but for some reason you don't seem to notice it, although every second jkkr fighting with tkkrs 🤨

We only get content about jkk from the company and never anything personal. It's fanservice, and you're stupid and support it.

Yeah, yeah, and dozens of leaks from sasaeng are also not true. And that jkk literally hang out in each other's families is also a lie. And their company forced them to join the army, it's not their personal desire. And Jimin's father is just an idiot flirting with jkkrs, yes. By the way, about the father…

Jimin's father is unprincipled and greedy, and makes money on shippers, it's just a business. This has nothing to do with reality. If Jimin were shipped with someone else, he would have made a cafe for a different pairing. And so he just makes money on Jimin's name in the same way.

Seriously, the father made a cafe for the pairing and is making money off of Jimin's name? 🤨 I heard this somewhere, from taekookers, if my memory serves me right)) But even if you discount everything, Jimin is still shipped with a lot of people. So what, and where? Dad, make a minimoni cafe 😂 In general, all this rhetoric is pure brainwashing of tkkrs. It's not the father expressing support for jkk, but the father stupidly making money off of his son's name and shipping. Which again brings me back to the thought - pjms and tkkrs, it seems you are very much in favor of the same thing. How come you didn't start shipping tkk so that in your head Jungkook would stay away from Jimin 🤔

Jimin and Jungkook get different support from the hybe, Jungkook is idolized, and Jimin is pushed aside, and you deny it and only pjms scream about the blatant injustice towards Jimin.

Do you know what's funny about this statement? Yes, that's right, you're talking like tkkrs again 🌚 tkkrs who say that Jimin earned his place with his ass from the producers (you get it), everything was bought for Jimin by his father and bpd, that Jimin is pushed everywhere, and Taehyung is pushed aside for the sake of Jimin's promotion, Jimin was given this, they did that, and Taehyung's songs were stolen and given to him (sorry, I still have psychological trauma from these theories😂). The roles have changed, but the narrative remains) The company has only one interest - financial. They spend years calculating how to work with the artist in order to earn more. Do you seriously think that a company like that sits and thinks, hmmmm, we have a superstar and another superstar, but we will pull one out by the ears with all our might, and for some reason we will forget about the other one, so what, we will miss out on millions of dollars? No, that's not how it works, they will work for every cent)))0))0 The most they can do to harm an artist is to create a fake scandal, and even then it will be retribution for some disobedience. This does not look like Jimin's story. You are immersed in the world of hopeless delulu, trying to connect the dots on the map and make Jimin out to be a sufferer offended by everyone, and then walk around and feel sorry for him because of your own fantasies. You don't have contracts in hand, you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes, you have no idea what kind of relationship the guys have with the management. You literally have nothing except "well, we would like more, Jimin deserves it." I could sit next to you and also complain about why there was no tour, why we didn't get promo for half a year, but in reality there is no reason for this. Jimin was not dragged into a scandal, Jimin was not banned from solo work, Jimin was not set up - literally nothing was done that really indicates machinations against him. All the work was obviously carried out in accordance with what was discussed at meetings with Jimin and according to the plan that was built.

The company is trying to make it look like Jimin wanted to film a jikook show on his own, for which Jimin is hated again (what does jkkrs have to do with this? 🤔)

This is very interesting. Jkk once wanted to film a show, apparently they thought about it more than once and decided to jump on the last train, before the army. Jimin did not say anything about the fact that he was the only one who wanted this. They both said that these were joint thoughts. But what do we get in the end? Pjms hate this show because it was kind of forced on Jimin and Jimin was hated by tkkrs because of the show, tkkrs hate the show simply because it features jkk in all its glory and again that nasty Jimin next to Jungkook (I laugh that they don't make any claims against Jungkook, who snapped at Taehyung quite strongly in the second part "well, why the hell did you come here, this show is for the two of us" 🤣). As a result, the brainchild of jkk, in which Jimin himself takes direct voluntary and happy part, pleases only jkkrs and that part of the fandom whose brain has not atrophied. Everyone else is against it because of their fantasies. Mmmm cool.

Jimin's femininity, queer coding, bigender/bisexuality, references to LGBT people and culture, etc. - all this was invented only by jkkrs, in reality it never happened, he didn't tell you all directly "I'm gay", so shut up. No one sees it except you.

Well… no, so no. We made it all up ourselves. And none of this, for example, ever existed))

And if it does exist, it was all invented by stylists. It's all queerbaiting in K-pop. It's all just like that. These are all random coincidences, every time. But in fact, he is a brutal heterosexual, worse than Dwayne Johnson, as he says himself. Especially when he corrects the host who admires his masculinity "I'm not masculine". Plus the question, when did Jimin say that he was heterosexual? Queers see queer coding, you don't. That's all.

Jkkrs regard all of Jimin's actions as confirmation of his fictitious relationship with Jungkook.

Hmm no 🤔 But for example, we have Jungkook's eyes on the falling scoreboard (you can try as much as you want to prove that these are not his eyes, but until you have real evidence that someone else was photographed or, as some wrote, that these are AI-generated eyes - we don't care about your delulu). Or the song "Letter", packaged in a very special way and again, by some miracle, it is Jungkook. AYS with Jungkook (+ Tae in episods). And he went to the army again with this fucking Jungkook together… But in general, you right, his life does not revolve only around Jungkook. And it should not.

If it were not profitable for the company to sell jkk, then they would never have been together at all, but this way they at least see each other on set once a year (again, what do jkkrs have to do with this?).

Considering that the most popular and aggressive pairing is taekook, and the most hated is jikook, the company is full of idiots and they think, damn, we have a super-hyped ship and a ship that is a bone in the throat of many. What to choose… Which one will pay off… I'm betting everything on red. Oh, I mean on jkk 🤡 It's funny to hear about "once a year", when they literally say themselves that they drink together, Jungkook is all languishing on broadcasts, when I can already come to you, Jimin, I can right now, right in the same blanket 😂 They solve issues with the army together, Jungkook's brother exposes Jimin in front of him (well, if you don't try to play the fool again, pretending that there is definitely someone else in the photo), they leak us photos from surveillance, photos from stalkers and God knows what else. For some reason they even wanted to serve in the army together. But that's what personal life is personal for, because you don't have to report on every step. What we see is already more than enough. As much as you and tkkrs don't want it, the jkk are obviously extremely close people to each other.

Only pjms support Jimin, the rest have given up on him, including the jkkrs. The jkkrs just jerk off to their fantasies and they are of no help to Jimin. They will vote for anyone but Jimin. They will prefer to vote for Jungkook.

Very funny) And again we see how your self-esteem soars to the skies. Only thanks to you Jimin achieves success, no one in the whole world needs him, everything is only you and everything is only for you, all you do is vote, stream, buy merch, etc. So what does this mean, you support the opinion of the tkkrs and akgaes maknae that Jimin received all the awards undeservedly, simply thanks to the cheating pajamas, and no one needs him? Oh, oh 🤡 Think again before you write such nonsense. It's not only pjms who support Jimin. And jkkrs most often have Jimin in their main biases, by the way, and they will vote for him rather than for Jungkook 🤔 Jkkkrs, I'm waiting for your excuses, why don't you also actively support Jungkook, huh? 🌚

[artsy-book]

using only song titles of one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

Thank you for the tag @ellalily !! This was really fun ^-^

Artist: Derivakat

1) What is your gender?

FIREBORN

2) How do you feel?

Smile

3) If you could go anywhere?

Lost In Space

4) Favourite mode of transportation?

Viper

5) Your best friend-

Honey

6) Favourite time of day?

Night Before Dawn

7) If your life was a TV show-

Cycle

8) Relationship status?

In My Head

9) Your fear?

Last Goodbyes

no pressure tags: @sincerely-nines @stitchthesewords @snaxle @heroblender @enbyandyy and anyone who wants to as well ^-^

[sendmyresignation]

Heavy Metal MCR Manifesto

At long last it has arrived from the depths of hell...... the essential guide to all things metal, at least in the context of My Chemical Romance, its members and its musical history! Have you ever wondered exactly how My Chem has been influenced by metal? We all know Ray loves Iron Maiden and Gerard can do black metal vocals, but just how deeply is My Chemical Romance connected to metal music and culture?

The answer is probably longer and more elaborate than you thought!

In this primer you will discover why Frank and Ray work so well together, how Maiden jump-started Ray and Gerard's creative partnership, what sex and satan have to do with Gerard, and what it is about metal that has made it such a significant sonic and aesthetic influence on every album My Chem have ever released. Check all this and more out at the place posers go to die!!! The MCR METAL PRIMER!!!

(Image by Mark Beemer)

[lilacerull0]

[mysticalcats]

ooh okay I want to hear one thing you think about skimble!!! It can be a headcanon or a little stage detail or whatever! Tell me about your guy :D

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY GUY YOU'RE SO NICEEE

i accidentally wrote so much it's kind of embarrassing so let me just say a little detail i like which is this lil thing skimble does in 1998 during theee "they all could reflect it was very nice" line i think??? not really a small detail but i always smile when i see it

ough he's just so happy... (this gif is from @noriseyebrow btw!)

okay i didn't want this to be so long for people who like. do not care lol so i just put it under the cut because im not even sure how coherent this is but bear with me while i rant for a sec

something that's been on my mind lately is ross finnie as skimble singing the "it was very pleasant when they found their little den" part.. this goes for both the 2002 and the 2015 productions. because they're like. so different. and i love them both so very much!! i really like 2002's because he sounds so sweet and like. his voice is very happy in the calmest way possible yknow. and i really like how he talks. oh and i especially like after the cats say "weak or strong?" and he says "oh, alright!" i just think it's so cute and it's a very little detail but you know. i get hung up on tiny details about my fav guy. ALSO i really like how he says "and" in the "you could make it dark or bright, and! a button you can turn to make a breeze" like he just remembered it and he's excited to say it

AND THE 2015 PRODUCTION. HE'S SO LOUD AND EXCITED AND IT'S JUST. he's just so fucking excited and how loud he gets because he's just so hyped to talk about trains that he can't control his voice and he's yelling and it's just!!! it makes me crazy. especially in the "you could make it dark or bright!", "and a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in!", and "then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly, 'WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MORNING TEA?'" and then the other cats say "weak or strong" and it kind of sounds like he's just yelling incomprehensibly for a second after they say that, like he's so excited he's just gotta scream. could just be me imagining it though

and these two versions of the song are so so different but they both communicate his character so well i feel!! i love you ross finnie you understood skimble like no one else

here's the clip of the two songs btw!

[whenthewallfell]

Finally ready to share this beast of a playlist :D Highly recommend having shuffle off for this, as it's in chronological order

---

THE HUNGER GAMES

i say "don't let me go" // and you say "why can't we be friends?"

Gallows Pole. Satellite. Talk. Happiness. Later On. Why Can't We Be Friends?

CATCHING FIRE

part-time soulmate, full-time problem // so hold me like a grudge

(pre-tour) We Have It All. Fourth of July. Nine Lives. Everybody Wants Somebody

(Victory Tour) Spiraling. Easier. You've Haunted Me All My Life. Tongues & Teeth. Real Love Song. Hold Me Like A Grudge

(Quarter Quell) Someday You Will Be Loved. The Last of the Real Ones. My Love Will Never Die

MOCKINGJAY

now my neck is open wide // begging for a fist around it

I Found. Control. Deep Sea Diver. Who Are You Really? Castle. The Sharpest Lives

EPILOGUE

no grave can hold my body down // i'll crawl home to her

Jet Pack Blues. begin again. I Wish You Would. Like Real People Do. This Must Be the Place. Work Song

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[synthaphone]

so there's a Stop Making Sense cover album coming out in honor of the movie's 40th anniversary, and i listened to the preview tracks that are out, and the best thing about it so far, for me, is that its reminded me that Girlfriend is Better is a really fucking good song