#i love analysis i love stories i love philosophy i love deep emotional conversations and this fic is kind of my love letter to all of those

[crunchycrystals]

i dont think the fall guy is the best movie ive ever seen or even my favorite. but by god is it the most meaningful to me bc it inspired me to write again after a horrible depression writing slump

[90spumkin]

Masterpiece

Summary: Who knew art could lead to an awkward meeting that would later lead to beautiful relationship.

A/N: I know I said I would post this Friday, but oh well here we are. All inserted pictures are from Pinterest. I absolutely loved writing this so please send me your feedback.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Artist! Reader

Warnings: swearing, implied/slightly descriptive smut, mention of alcohol and addiction 

Word Count: 2.8K

Spencer doesn’t know how long he had been zoned out not listening to a word Emily said to him. They were standing in an obnoxiously long line at their favorite coffee shop. Spencer was admiring the art in front of him, the way the yellows and oranges flowed together was mesmerizing. They were so mesmerizing that Spencer didn’t realize the art was on the back pocket of the stranger’s shorts standing in line in front of them.

It wasn’t until Emily nudge Spencer’s shoulder, “Quit looking at that girl’s ass!” Spencer saw where Emily was pointing as she spoke. As he went to say, “I was not checking out her ass.”, the stranger with the mesmerizing art on her ass turned around to see the raven haired woman pointing down at the lower part of her body and the tall curly haired man blushing as he was caught in the act.

The woman smirked at them both and said, “Well my shorts do say ‘this butt is art’ so I guess technically you were just taking in all its beauty.” This made Emily snort and Spencer stutter. He tried to stutter out an apology, but by the time his brain allowed him to access words again Emily’s phone rang loudly.

She answered quickly and hung up just as fast, “I have to go to a meeting apparently. Sometimes I hate being the boss. I’ll catch up with you later, Spencer.” And with that she was gone, leaving Spencer there with the still smirking woman.

“You know the least you could do is buy my coffee to make up for this adorable fiasco.” She said causing Spencer to blush. He nodded his head and said, “Yes of course. I’m really sorry about all that. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid by the way.”

She smiled at him as he went to stand beside her in line, “Oh doctor, fascinating. I’m y/n.”

Once they had finally gotten their coffee and found a small table, conversation between the two flowed so effortlessly. “So, doctor, huh? Care to share with the class what kind?” Y/n asked as she took a sip of her dark beverage.

Spencer chuckled, “I have PhD’s in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering along with BA’s in psychology, sociology, and philosophy. I’m not a doctor who works in a hospital, but one who works in the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.” Y/n smiled at him over her cup, “That kind of makes sense you look like a very intelligent man. Plus, you look way better in a cardigan than you probably would in scrubs.”

Their conversation went on without a hitch, no moments of awkward silence. They talked about their careers, y/n explained how she was an artist and Spencer adored the way she lit up as she talked. They constantly were bouncing ideas and questions off one another. The conversations stretched over many different topics, each just as interesting as the last. Y/n even listened and question Spencer on several of his fact dumps.

They both seemed to have forgotten the outside world existed until Spencer happened to notice the sun setting through the coffee shop windows. As he admired the colors in the sky he said, “The sky is always so lovely at sunset, but I hate that it could mean the end of this.”

He looked back at y/n who was smiling at him. “Okay I don’t usually invite strange men to my home, but would you like to come see some of my art that I’ve been working on?” Spencer smirked and narrowed his eyes, “You think I’m strange?” Y/n laughed, “Only in the best way.”

The first thing Spencer did when he entered y/n incredibly spacious apartment was admire all the art lining the walls. He had thought the art displayed on her jean shorts was mesmerizing, but the art that was in front of him now was simply breathtaking.

Spencer walked the walls, admiring and analyzing each piece. Y/n stood beside him as he smiled at the painting of a cow. She laughed softly as she spoke, “There is always a story behind each of my paintings. Some are silly, some are painful. However, this one happens to be my favorite. I grew up on a farm and I had a cow named Milky” She looked at Spencer who was trying to hide a laugh, “Hey I was 8! Anyways she was my best friend. It was funny when I first started to draw and paint, I would always use her as a model. Sometimes it seemed as if she was posing for me.”

Spencer didn’t take his eyes off y/n the whole time she was talking. Once y/n finished her story she looked at Spencer. Both of their smiles growing bigger. He looked back at the painting and said, “You know in another life I would love to be a cowboy with cows and other animals on a small ranch somewhere.”

Y/n giggled, “Would you name one of your cows Milky?” Spencer looked at her fondly and said, “For you, I would.”

Spencer turned his head to the right and noticed a canvas with several different shades of red bleeding into one another, there was broken glass scattered across it. He made his way closer, he turned towards y/n and asked, “What’s the story behind this one?”

Y/n’s eyes held a hint of sadness as she drew in a deep breath. She was hesitant at first but finally explained, “The glass is broken beer bottles, I was- am an alcoholic. I am currently 5 years sober, almost 6 now. I made this to remind myself of all the hate and pain drinking brought to my life” Y/n turned towards Spencer expecting him not to understand, but instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out a sobriety chip.

Y/n’s eyes started to tear up at the fact that someone finally wasn’t judging her but understanding her. She too pulled out a chip and both y/n and Spencer let out laughs full of pain but also full happiness. Spencer reached out a hand and placed it on y/n’s cheek. His thumb ran smoothly across her face to wipe a tear that had escaped.

When Spencer spoke again his words were soft, “Out of all this art, I think you are the one true masterpiece.”

One minute they were staring into one another’s eyes, and the next they were getting lost in the feel of the other’s lips neither one really sure when they had made it to y/n’s bedroom. Spencer held y/n against him firmly, but it felt delicate all at once. His fingers traced over every edge and curve of her body bringing sounds of pleasure from her beautiful lips.

Spencer planted soft kisses across y/n’s body as if he were painting and her body was his canvas. With every roll of Spencer’s hips, flashes of color seemed to blind him. When y/n arched her back, Spencer let her know she was more beautiful than any art piece.

The next morning, Spencer woke up to the sun shining through the windows. He felt y/n stir next to him, he couldn’t help but take in how lovely she looked. The sun seemed to only amplify her beauty.

Y/n opened her eyes to find Spencer staring at her. She smirked and closed her eyes again, curling up closer to him, “You’re staring.” Spencer chuckled causing vibrations to run through his chest making y/n giggle. “I’m admiring.” Spencer told her.

Y/n sat up to stretch, the sheets falling around her making her look like a sculpture of a goddess. She smiled down at him and scrunched up her nose “Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever you say.”

While they started to dress, well y/n was getting dressed Spencer was still looking for his shirt, he noticed the shorts y/n was putting on had art on them just like the ones before. However, these were not shades of yellow and orange. These shorts had little planets painted on them.

Y/n turned around to see Spencer’s eyes once again focused on her ass, “Why are you smiling like that?” At her question Spencer let out the laugh he was holding in as he said, “Ummm- well- it’s just that- your ass is out of this world.”

Y/n snorted and threw a pillow towards Spencer who actually caught it, “Oh the doctors got jokes this morning.”

Spencer spotted his shirt in the floor and as he bent over to get it, he said, “Not jokes, facts.” This only made y/n smile more.

Y/n watched the muscles in Spencer’s back flex as he fixed his shirt to put it on. Right before he put it over his head she asked, “Can I- can I paint something on your back?”

Spencer stopped all movements to look at y/n, he noticed the blush tinting her cheeks. His heart seemed to scream with emotions. Spencer through his shirt back on the ground and asked, “Where do you want me?” Y/n giggled and pointed to the bed.

Y/n had been straddling Spencer’s back for about 15-to-20-minute minutes when he no longer felt the softness of the paintbrush against his skin. Y/n had been humming while she worked and with the gentleness of each stroke of the brush, Spencer kept dozing off.

Y/n removed herself from Spencer causing him to turn his head to look up at her, she was smiling so brightly Spencer never wanted to look away. Y/n was staring down at the work on Spencer’s back and jumped slightly when he asked, “Can I see it?”

“Oh yes! Of course!”, she rushed to put down her paints and brushes. Y/n grabbed Spencer’s hand and pulled him towards the full-length mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom door. Before handing him the handheld mirror she said, “Close your eyes. I’m going to count to 3.” Spencer just chuckled and nodded.

“1…”

“…2…”

“…3”

Spencer opened his eyes and let out a gasp. The art that now covered his back was simple but so pretty. There were no defined lines, the colors overlapped in some places which just made it all the more beautiful. He looked from the mirror to y/n to see her hands clasped together and held against her mouth. She moved her hands slightly to ask, “So, what do you think?” Spencer looked back at the mirror and said, “I never want to take it off.”

After the time Spencer spent with y/n he was scared he would never see or talk to her again. Right after she revealed the painting she had done on his back, Emily called him with a new case. He ran out of there so fast he didn’t have time to remove the paint or give y/n his number. The plane ride was slightly uncomfortable with his clothes sticking to the paint.

However, it turned out the universe was on his side. They were leaving one case going straight to another, so Spencer’s spirits were kind of in shambles and his mind was consumed with thoughts of y/n. His sadness was starting to take over his mood when his rarely used cell phoned chimed, signaling that he just received a text.

Hi, doc. It’s your favorite artist. I hope it isn’t weird I’m texting you. I got a call from someone named Penelope. She said Emily thought you would like to hear from me.

Spencer looked over towards Emily who was smirking as she read over the case file, she knew who was texting him. Spencer just shook his head as he typed out his response, smiling the whole time.

Hello, y/n. That would be my best friends medaling in my life. Luckily, this time they were right.

Y/n response came back fast, and Spencer chuckled softly imagining the teasing look she was probably making as she asked-

This time?

That is a story for another time.

Over the course of the several weeks Spencer was gone, Y/n and Spencer texted every chance they got. A lot of the times Spencer would be too busy and would see messages from y/n he had gotten through the day.

--

I was running late this morning due to me having terrible time management skills and well- I went to brunch with paint completely covering my clothes.

--

Ha look what I did. I’m starting to think I’m the real genius here. click here for image

--

SPENCER REID. DID YOU REALLY HAVE PENELOPE GO BUY ME THIS AND BRING IT TO ME?!?! I love it! Thank you! click here for image

--

Spencer would always laugh and respond every time he got the chance. One night he was actually able to call her.

“Hello?”

“Are not sure how to answer a phone or are you questioning if I’m really calling you?” Spencer teased.

“Well, isn’t someone feeling sassy today.” Y/n laughed; she was overwhelmingly happy to hear his voice.

They spent most of the night just catching up. Y/n never once asked about the case and for that Spencer was thankful. Spencer saw the sun start to rise and realized what time it was.

“I should probably try and get at least a few hours of sleep.” Spencer said into the phone. He heard her gasp and then frantically started apologizing, “Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! I was just so happy to talk to you I didn’t realize. I-“

Spencer cut her off with a “Hey. It perfectly okay. I love talking to you. If it were possible, I would never sleep if it meant I could talk to you forever.”

Y/n couldn’t stop smiling, “Well guess what doc. You’re kind of stuck with me get ready for me to never stop talking.” Spencer laughed softly, “I am definitely okay with that.”

As soon as the jet landed, Spencer texted y/n to let her know they were back. What he didn’t expect was for her to be standing in the bullpen with Penelope. Spencer couldn’t help but practically sprint to her, ignoring the knowing looks from his teammates.

When reached her, he wrapped her in a hug. Y/n giggled as she hugged him back. When they pulled apart Spencer asked, “What are you doing here?” Y/n shrugged and looked towards Penelope who had left her side to join the others and said, “Reasons.” She looked back at Spencer and winked. Spencer laughed and shook his head as he wrapped her in another hug.

Spencer and y/n left with Spencer promising to finish the paperwork first thing the following week. Once they were outside y/n turned to Spencer and said, “Okay so the main reason I couldn’t wait any longer to see you is I want to ask you something?”

Spencer turned his head and squinted his eyes, “Should I be scared?” Y/n barked out a laugh and grabbed Spencer’s hand. He stared where their hands were joined. Y/n must have thought he didn’t want to hold her hand because she noticed him staring and let go.

Y/n became a little nervous as she asked, “I- I wanted to ask you to be my plus one at an art show tomorrow. This will be the second art show my work has been in and I’m extremely nervous and would love for you to be there.”

Spencer smiled, feeling beyond flattered that she would want him there. He grabbed her hand the same way she had before and said, “I would love nothing more.”

That following night at the art show Spencer knew for certain he was completely consumed with feelings for y/n. He couldn’t help but to admire how her face lit up every time she talked about her work with other guests. It fills him with pride every time she would turn away the champagne that is offered. What really sets his heart ablaze is how y/n would reach for his hand every time she moved on to another art piece or to speak to someone else. It was as if y/n wanted, needed him. Whether it was for comfort or confidence Spencer was happy to be either of those things for her.

Towards the end of the night Spencer and y/n had finally found a moment to be alone. They stood in front of a painting that kind of reminded Spencer of the mermaid from that one Disney movie Penelope made him watch.

Y/n must have thought so also because as she looked at the painting she said, “You know I am really glad you have become a part of my world.” Y/n turned her head to look at Spencer there was a gleam in her eye. Spencer responded by saying, “Is there any way I can always be a part of your world?”

Y/n responded by kissing Spencer, putting ever amount of emotion she felt into it. The kiss was more vibrant and meaningful than any art she could ever dream of creating.

*

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[sasodei-is-real]

Good afternoon💙 Well, or just Hello if you have a different time of day 😅💙

Thank you for your answers!)

And I still can’t reply to comments (I don’t know what is wrong), so I’ll answer like this)

@justanotherblonde thank you very much, it's so nice 🥺💙 And I'm glad that it will be interesting for you) Because the topic is actual and worth discussing.

@movethisalong Thanks for the answer!) I will soon work on the text in drafts, I will publish it today)💗

@bodoquehenko Weeell ... it's not directly related. But indirectly, yes. After all, even though Deidara is an adult, he has a big age difference with Sasori. So, for us - Sasodei fandom, this topic is not completely alien. Anyway, in any fandom, this is a very controversial and interesting topic that is worth discussing. As a sasodei shipper, I was asked questions about this topic. I think it would be nice to say my opinion on this issue and put all the points above and. I will talk not only about the general phenomenon, but also about sasodei separately in this topic.

But of course I will continue the analysis💛. This is not even discussed, because it is for this analysis that my blog was invented. But the point is, right now I only have time for one post. And analysis consists of many parts. And if I had written today about Onoki and Gaara (that is, I would have continued the analysis), I would have been able to move on to the next part of the analysis only in two weeks (this is how long my studies at the university will last). And that's not very good. Because although the analysis consists of different parts, the thing is integral. And it is best to read it without long breaks. I already postponed the analysis for a long time because of the uni , and then I did not want to continue again and stop the two weeks between the next part. I thought, since there is only time for one post, why not write about an actual topic that I would still raise and which would fit into one post. And then continue writing the analysis during the holidays and without long delays between continuation in order to maintain integrity.

Well, then the question was whether it would be interesting for you to discuss the topic of the age difference))

As for the ships, I think to talk after a specific stage in the analysis - when we analyze the characters of Sasori and Deidara. That is, the storage of posts turns out to be something like this - 1 question about the age difference 2 analysis where we left off - Onoki and Gaara (Iva and Suna) 3 The next stage of the analysis is Sasori and Deidara's relationship with the rest of the characters 4 Sasori and Deidarf characters 5 Short conversation about crack ships (which is not part of the analysis of sasodei, but what is worth discussing) 6 Philosophy of Sasori and Deidara, the symbolism of their characters 7 FINALLY 😂 Analysis of the relationship between Sasori and Deidara - Sasodei

Thank you for answer ^w^🧡

@deidaraakasuna Yes, I myself really want to move on to their relationship as soon as possible 🤧❤ Yes, they were created for each other. It is obvious.💫💗

And yes. I agree, everyone has the right to ship whatever they want. I am not against any crackships, or ships with questionable context ... well, any. A person's taste is formed on the basis of his lived life and emotions, and this is too personal to criticize.

But. I'm not talking about WHAT they ship, but HOW they raise their ship, for example, how, by substituting facts, they justify their ships.

I will try to explain what I think about this. The bottom line is that Naruto is a very elaborate and fragile story, the essence of which is her philosophy. Naruto has a very interesting build scheme. Recently I talked with my friend, and she noticed that in its structure Naruto is similar to the Russian classic novel "The Master and Margarita" by Bulgakov. And this is so. The bottom line is that there are a lot of characters in Naruto. Each character has its own story, its own psychology, motivation and internal conflict, the solution of which manifests one thought. The character has a conflict, the opposite or controversial side of his conflict is put in front of him, most often with the help of another character and ultimately, thanks to the contradiction, the truth is found - that is, we get a ready-made thought about any aspect of life. And so on. Everything is connected together, and each such thought, which is formed with the help of the character's life - by doing it with the rest, creates the philosophy of the work.

For instance. Sasori and Deidara degenerate their vision of the world in their art. They were a contradiction, in the end they found harmony, Deidara accepted eternity, and Sasori the truth of transience. Thanks to the fact that Sasori took instant and soul - Kankuro managed to dissuade him and Sasori decided to find eternity in the continuation of generations. During Edo Tensei, we see Sasori no longer hide his concern for Deidara with excuses and aggression - he has evolved. Therefore, Kankuro deals with the question of the soul. Sasori dies while Deidara screams and he pretends to embrace his parents. During the conversation, Edo Tensei, with the help of Kankuro and Sasori, reveal to us the theme of the soul. What is the soul? A haven of pain that poisons the heart, but without which you become a weak-willed marilnet. And Sasori's conflict is directly related to Obito. After discussing the soul issue, we see Obito pointing at the hole in his chest and saying that he doesn't feel anything. This is great preparation for Obito. These two characters are somewhat similar. Both wanted to escape their pain and forget themselves in illusions. Sasori replaced people with puppets, and love with universal contempt and control. Obito wanted to forget himself in the eternal Tsukuemi. Sasori accepted his feelings for Deidara. Obito realized that he shouldn't forget Rin. Sasori died in such a pose like hugging his parents. Obito died again while saving his friend Kakashi. Both died in the same situations that doomed them to suffering and pushed them into the dark. Simbolic 👀.(By the way, did you notice that Sasori's main OST is playing in the background? "Despair"). I mean, in Naruto, everything is very closely related to each other. Sasori and Deidara's relationship is their development. And when, for example, I see the sasosaku shippers dismantle the battle scene and say that Sakura influenced Sasori, proving her validity, it's not very pleasant. Primarily as a Naruto fan. Let's imagine for a minute If Sakura really influenced Sasori.

Sasori would not be able to achieve what he most desired - true eternal art. The role of Kankuro would not be needed and he would not have developed as a character and would not have received future Puppets . Since Kankuro is not needed, then his conversation with Chiyo and her acceptance will not take place. Since Sakura has already influenced him, there is no need to talk about the soul - there is no full disclosure of Sasori and the prologue to Obito's conflict. Complete disregard for Sasori's feelings for Deidara and for finding harmony.

And the most important thing. Sasori is a complex and deep character with his own feelings and motives. Each of his actions is based on his state of mind and thoughts. And when they explain Sasori's decision by the fact that he was influenced by a 15-year-old girl who then shouted that she wanted to get rid of her parents and who was unable to understand Sasori continued to scream, and not his character - this is a spit towards Sasori. As a Sasori stan, I am not pleased.

And so with everyone. I love Deidara. Obito is my heart. But in the pairing, Obiday Deidara is presented not as a deep character with his own conflict, but as a cliché "I behave aggressively, but I like you." Rin and Obito's wonderful story...?? No?😅😂

And yes, of course it is clear that in canon these are all crackships.

And I don't mind when people ship characters for themselves, draw art, write fanfiction and have fun. no, that's cool. BUT when they try to prove the canonicity of such an absurdity ... I'm Here 🌚👍

And after all, philosophy really changes. I was talking to my friend last week and he said, "It would be cool if in the Kazekage arc it turned out that Gaara is Uzuma. It would turn out that Naruto Uzumaki saved Uzumaki." Umm ... no. It wouldn't be.

The fact that Gaara was none for Natuto was done for a reason. From the very beginning, Gaara's history and development prepared us for 1 Pain's Philosophy. 2 To resolve the conflict between Suna and Iva. Two old villages.

Remember the first season? As after the fight Naruto said "I understand your pain, I went through the same." Gaara was not Naruto's relative, his friend from the start, he was from another village and was his enemy because

1. This resolved the conflict between Chie and the conservative villages. Chie asked, "Why does he care so much about Gaara? They are from different villages." Chie of the old school has broken the world into structures, forgetting that, first of all, they are all people and not representatives of countries. Kakashi replies, "He doesn't care what village he is from. They went through the same pain and are the best at each other." Chie dies realizing the old mistakes imposed by generations "You will change this world invented by old and stupid people."

2. Gaara was preparing us for a meeting with Pain. Pain's philosophy was that people who were completely alien to each other could understand each other by knowing the same pain. If Gaara was Naruto's relative, it would destroy the entire structure of philosophy.

3 The example of Naruto and Gaara is Jiraiya's true teaching. "We know what pain is and try to be merciful to others." The idea seems to be the same as that of Pain, but at the same time it is completely different. Pain used pain ( ahh sorry 😂) as a weapon. Against the background of Gaara's example, this looks even more obvious.

4 In the future, just like Naruto changed Chiyo, Gaara will change Onoki.

I want to say that in Naruto everything is very fragilely interconnected. This is the order and the relationship of the characters of the link. So why when the same shippers Sasosaku, Tobidei and Itadei prove their "canonicity" by

1 Sakura influenced sasori

2 Tobi called Deidara his favorite senpai

3 Deidara hates sharingan and talks about Itachi

Well, on the one hand, I don't care as the sasodei shipper , because as many canonical proofs and justifications as Sasodey has, not a single ship has

but on the other hand, as a fan of Naruto philosophy, I hate to see how people are ready to distort the idea of ​​anime and the characters of in order to prove their canon.

So,

In a word, I want to talk about this first of all as

1 A fan of the naruto philosophy that becomes meaningless due to the substitution of facts for some ship

2 A fan of all these characters who are distorted trying to prove their "canonicity"

3 Sasodei shipper

In general, I do not mind "I like this ship and I ship it. Ok"

I do not like "I will ignore the facts and at the same time do not care that I made the philosophy of the anime useless, distort the characters of the persona only in order to prove their some crackship's canonicity 🌚👍"

I hope I could explain why I want to talk about it😶

And this one is so sweet🥺💗Yes, I also know people with a huge difference in age who are beautiful and happy together for a long time. And although I agree that a lot is not visible from the outside, but age really does not matter. It's all about people.

And I'm sorry that it turned out so long 😅

This was a good chance to explain why I decided to talk about other ships (/> <)/

So, thanks again for the answers ^=^ ❤💛

I’ll go and write a post about the age difference in the drafts, edit it a little and post 🐥🦂

[travelgirl369]

A large hawk circles overhead as the fog shrouds the corridor of trees, their soft autumn hues beginning to blush. I travel through the beautiful mist on this cool October day as I head to the Path of Consciousness Conference and Retreat. My dear friend Weam Namou has created this event from a vision she has had, following the urging of purpose unfolding from her soul.

An autumn leaf on the forest floor sits upon the trail that many attendees visited over the weekend for reflection at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

The focus for all of us who attend is to pray, dream, and write the story in our hearts – one that inspires, gives peace, and strengthens the spirit. I had the opportunity to both speak at and attend this beautiful three-day event that focused on writing and spirituality. We experienced ancient healing techniques, used nature for connection, learned about journaling and memoir writing, stretched our bodies into beautiful yoga poses, experienced a powerful gong meditation that offered unique insight, and so much more.

My workshop was the first to occur early on Saturday morning. After dashing through the light rain to the main building, I found my place in a large room with a gorgeous view of the expansive land surrounding the retreat center. A field of vibrant green grass was surrounded by a thick swath of mature trees, just beginning to show their autumn color. I was presenting a session called Creative Vision Board Workshop: Envision Your Success! and being in this soothing space was perfect for the message I planned to deliver.

Our beautiful meeting space for The Path of Consciousness Retreat at the Colombiere Conference and Retreat Center in Clarkston, Michigan.

  I talked about how we can choose to change at any time and that creating a vision board is much more than just putting pretty pictures on a poster board and forgetting about it. Creating our vision is a powerful first step in which we can manifest our dreams. I offered tools and techniques to assist in the growth process and shared some of my experiences which included the time I decided to leave corporate life to strike out on my own – which was scary and wonderful all at once.

Sonya Julie presenting Creative Vision Board Workshop: Envision Your Success! at the Path of Consciousness Retreat

Thoughtful questions, head nods, the occasional shared laughter, and a sense of connection were felt as I shared my heart with the audience who was so willing to receive. Afterwards I had many rewarding conversations all weekend long with people about working towards their goals and dreams. I met so many beautiful people and was able to witness such tender truth and heartfelt emotion from the core of their magnificent souls as they blessed me with their thoughts and experiences.

Weam Namou, founder of The Path of Consciousness, presenting Memoir Writing for Transformation

Weam Namou’s books were available at the author table during The Path of Consciousness Retreat

  I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Weam speak about memoir writing, especially because I am in the process of writing one myself presently. Creating a collection of stories from the heart is a transformative process that will allow me to shift my energy and experience deep personal growth. I appreciate her emphasis on creating quality material and utilizing professional editing – good advice for all types of writers.

Patty Shaw signing her book and sharing smiles at the author and information table at The Path of Consciousness – a fun place to connect all weekend long

I loved hearing from Robert E. Haskins about handwriting analysis and when he analyzed my handwriting on my name tag, it was amazing as to how accurate it was and how the information flowed from his higher self to me. As he spoke to our group, he emphasized that in getting to know ourselves, we then experience tremendous growth. As we explore our subconscious mind we find buried information that will allow us to transform, heal, and move forward on our path.

Robert E. Haskins presenting valuable insight about handwriting analysis at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

I had the pleasure of enjoying Mr. Haskins’ company as we sat together at lunch and offered gratitude for the bountiful food before us – lush salad greens with every imaginable topping, a variety of dressings, soups, and a beautiful meal of turkey and gravy prepared for the all the groups visiting the Colombiere Conference Center in Clarkston, Michigan.

Everyone enjoyed the delicious bounty of food at the Colombiere Conference and Retreat Center

With big smiles and warm hearts, we shared life experiences, ideas, philosophies, and expressed what we appreciated about that moment – the birds perching on the large trees out the window that we chose to sit by and the wonderful people joining us at our table. Truly a kindred soul, I deeply felt that I had met him somewhere in a previous place and time.

Wake Up Your Nature facilitated by Patty Shaw was enjoyed by all at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

The beautiful grounds were part of our focus during Wake Up Your Nature at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

Participants in Wake Up Your Nature were asked to think about how spirit lifts us up so that we may grow and share our stories

  After lunch we went on a replenishing walk with Patty Shaw where she facilitated her workshop Wake Up Your Nature. She helped us to release that which no longer served us creatively and to gather inspiration and connection from the earth and our ancestors. It was a powerful experience and some participants shared what they felt. The most memorable for me was from the woman who noticed the bright yellow autumn leaves of a bush on the staircase as we ascended into the light and how it reminded her of her first spiritual awakening and it left goosebumps on my arms.

Descending down the stairs into the trail through the woods during Wake Up Your Nature at The Path of Consciousness

Walking back up into the light

Attendees were able to walk the full path on this beautiful Labyrinth at the Path of Consciousness Retreat with Lisa Argo facilitating

Lisa Argo, enjoying her time at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

Next, I traveled through a labyrinth as Lisa Argo facilitated our journey through spirit and writing. The process was very much like the path of life, ever ebbing and flowing, passing through the light and the dark, the fast and the slow, through long and short segments, as we move through all the seasons of life. We encountered twist and turns, unexpected moments, and encounters with other people as we walked our path. I was offered release, illumination, and deep insight about where I am headed on my own path currently and that I am entering a phase in my life where I am going to be sharing, creating, and doing more of what is true to my heart.

In the following workshop, Weam Namou talked about journaling and how we can use this as a writer. I have kept journals for nearly all my life, sometimes writing more during certain periods than others, and this is material that I can draw upon when I am writing my books. We talked about the benefits of journaling which includes physical and mental well-being. We talked about honoring our time, the balance of life, and how journaling can help us to transform our lives in all areas.

Weam Namou presenting Take Your Writing into the World on Sunday morning at the Path of Consciousness Retreat

  Stiff bodies and writer’s hands were then stretched out along with our minds as Sandy Naimou presented Writing for Yoga. Connecting in to the earth on our mats in a cool dark room as Sandy played singing bowls helped us to assimilate that day’s experiences while stretching our bodies gently. For those who were unable to get down to ground level, an alternate chair yoga experience was incorporated so that all were able to benefit.

Sandy Naimou with one of her singing bowls, ready to facilitate Yoga for Writers at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

Attendees eagerly awaiting the start of Yoga for Writing at The Path of Consciousness

We reconvened in the Chapel after dinner where Vince Anthony Pitre facilitated his Deep Insight Gong Meditation. First, he described his experience with hearing gongs for the first time in Hawaii and how it has magically transformed his life. As the deep blue-colored glass of the chapel windows grew darker with the sun setting behind the billowing clouds outside, the room darkened and softened as he began to introduce the gongs to us, each vibrating within its own frequency and range. With our eyes closed, we delved into a spiritual journey, our cellular structures vibrating as the gongs offered us transformation. A diverse sharing of experiences enriched the following moments as we listened to the encounters of those around us with open minds and hearts.

The Gongs set up in the Chapel, ready for Vince Anthony Pitre’s Deep Insight Gong Meditation

Vince Anthony Pitre, ready to facilitate the Deep Insight Gong Meditation at The Path of Consciousness Retreat

There were so many special moments – too many to share here. What was most important to me was connecting with people. It was beautiful to see how every workshop and presentation was interconnected and very valuable to my writing and spiritual path. Other activities over the weekend included a Recapitulation exercise on Friday night and an Awakening the Dreamer Symposium on Sunday. A Fire Ceremony was scheduled for Saturday night but a light rain prevented it from occurring so instead we met indoors. We shared nourishment and our observations from the day and how we could carry these insights forward together to make the world a better place. I know that when I left on Sunday afternoon that I felt like a different person than when I arrived. The powerful and transformative energies of our connection is palpable and I feel empowered and ready to create!

The retreat was designed with this in mind: “The spiritual and writing retreat will allow you to enhance your writing, personal, and business life with the help of various ancient, sacred, and creative teachings, including writing and storytelling.” Every moment embraced this philosophy as I came together with this group of people. Some of us strangers at the start, we all quickly connected with each other to create a cohesive group of souls that found great healing, joy, and support as we spent the weekend together.

I am so excited for our next conference and retreat – I knew in my heart that this event would be extraordinary and meaningful. Because it was created from the heart of all who contributed to its existence, it has the power to gain momentum and to continually touch more and more lives. Just as the flower of life extends outward, overlapping in layers, ever expanding like our great universe, gatherings like this are what will heal our world, allowing us to envision and create that which is benevolent and good and share it with others. I offer my gratitude to all who were a part of this event. Namaste.

This event took place on October 5 – 7, 2018. For more information about the Path of Consciousness visit https://thepathofconsciousness.com/ – I hope to see you there next year!

  My Transformative Experience at The Path of Consciousness Spiritual and Writing Retreat A large hawk circles overhead as the fog shrouds the corridor of trees, their soft autumn hues beginning to blush.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Note: This personal vent post (though it’s about my own current personal Stuff) contains massive Mass Effect 3 spoilers.

I’m a bit of a latecomer to the Mass Effect franchise... played the first game at the end of 2015 and the second at the start of 2016. I decided to play the full trilogy in anticipation of Andromeda’s release, and I finally had the opportunity to purchase and play ME 3 for the first time these last two weeks. I knew about a lot of the spoilers, but it’s still profoundly impacted me, and made me feel something more deep, unsettling, real, and pressingly painful than the typical recreational feel I get with a bittersweet story. This hurts.

There are a number of reasons it hurts, but the thing that hurts me most is Mordin’s story. I think it’s the best character story hands down in the Mass Effect trilogy - I could talk for a long time about that freakishly amazing characterization and retribution arc. But the point is that Mordin’s story HURTS MAJORLY because, even though I love it, I relate too much to it.

I’m not the same as Mordin, but I found a lot of... identity comfort... and an ability to relate... to the character. I can relate to the hyperactive mind constantly doing ninety side projects. I can relate to dabbling in a lot of different areas... where he might be creative writing, music, theatre, genetics, and the like, I’m things like creative writing, music, linguistics, philosophy, theology, and the like. I can relate to using data and logical analysis as the point of choice over other factors to the point it’s ridiculous. I can relate to being outwardly smooth and confident about my choices while inside being eaten away by what I’ve done. I’ll even admit I can relate to his eyebrow-raising ethics. I can relate to ever wondering if I made the right critical choice. I can relate to being introverted but willing to converse or open up, relate to loving the sciences and the arts, relate to not being the best at socializing or showing it but still obviously caring about the people in my care. Screw it, even the asexuality thing. I guess the whole point of this rant paragraph is that I can find a lot of excitement, happiness, and comfort in Mordin’s character because I can relate to it.

And I can relate to the... success thing... I guess. The great, esteemed Doctor Mordin Solus. Pretty important guy. When he was at the top of his game working with the STG on the genophage, he had top secret clearance, worked with the best resources and team, had an extremely active life filled with excitement and companionship, and found it satisfying. I’m not trying to sound cocky or anything... but I had those years, too. Not quite as monumental, but still... that sense of self-confidence and everything going right around me and being successful? Yeah that was there. High school years, especially senior year - first chair All-State Orchestra flautist, highest GPA valedictorian in the school’s 120 year history, soccer player on the best team in the league, all sorts of awards and recognitions coming my way, great friends to stay by me... I was the TOP and I knew it. And I was thrilled and I loved it.

But life goes forth, and as it does, the consequences of our actions catch up to us. The year 2011 started as my best year. It ended horribly and led to a terrible 2012. I don’t need to explain what happened, except that things came crashing down on me everywhere. Everywhere. And over the course of the last five years, I continued losing. I couldn’t even stay in a PhD program because my depression took too hard of a toll on me for me to stay engaged (I will NEVER return to that program).

So here I am, in the middle of nowhere, some no-name graceless location, feeling like the rest of my life is going to be spent here.

Mordin’s story felt so real. After he left Omega, though, with the sleepless nights and the spiritual soul-searching... he made a comeback. Entered the Collector base. Worked with the STG again to help ‘Eve’. Even created a cure for the genophage to undo that which gave him so much ethical struggling in the first place.

I want that so badly. To get out of this mire of uselessness I’m currently in, where I sit around like a lump of potatoes doing nothing important at all, not even getting decent human contact. To get back to a state where I can be productive and impactful again.

But while there are some moments that Mordin’s story can inspire me... Mass Effect 3 also crumples me.

Fuck it, that was one of the big things that got spoiled to me before I played the game anyway. I KNEW that Mordin was going to die (yeah yeah I know there’s a way for him to live, but that requires some hoop jumping I hadn’t done). I knew that the Renegade route was literally you shooting him right then and there. I managed to piece together a lot of the rest because plots are predictable - I predicted it had to involve some sort of betrayal, that it involved the genophage, that it likely involved some sort of retribution arc where he created the cure, that it’d be a Kobayashi Maru. But I still bawled when I saw him in my Paragon route implement the cure. 

I’ve never been NUMBED and... sort of traumatized... by a character death before. In truth, I tend to adooooore these things. And I STILL will argue with you guys for centuries to come that this scene on Tuchanka is the most incredible and impacting moment in the entire ME franchise. Fight me. So I do adore it. I can’t stop thinking about it. But I *did* legitimately feel horribly, painfully numbed for two days after seeing the Paragon death with my own two eyes from my own actions in the game. It’s like I was literally mourning a real being.

Yes, I know that they write characters really well, and that Mordin was extraordinary writing even on top of that. But it wasn’t just losing a fictional character that I’d attached to. It was.......... somehow, somehow... hitting at the struggles I’m currently in. And basically telling me my life was going to explode. Whatever I do, it’ll end in a “death” - maybe I’ll accomplish something, but it’ll be my end.

I’ve been terrified since leaving the PhD that I am at a dead end. That I’m not going anywhere, that I *can’t* go anywhere, that I’m stuck in a stasis no matter how hard I fight to get something better. That I’m going to be in dead end jobs with no progression and little companionship and no sense of satisfaction. That I’ll never again feel the thrill of what it was to tackle academia in my heyday. Where getting a Masters and three Bachelors and a Minor and a Certificate in four fucking years from a university was TOTALLY doable with an extremely high GPA and a bunch of awards and scholarships and.... where I could LIVE and be in my element. I’m afraid I’ll never get that sense of element again. That I’ll just be in something lackluster, unfulfilling, unappealing. I’m afraid I’ll never leave Omega and never be able to get that peaceful night’s rest. And I’m afraid that even if I make it to Tuchanka and reach the top of the Shroud... I’ll just get shot down... and never get the returned fulfillment in my life I wanted.

Mordin surviving in ME 3 requires two bad decisions to be made in the previous games, and frankly, while it does mean he lives, it’s not a satisfying ending so much from a storytelling perspective. The story was MEANT for him to die. And it just comes as a crushing blow to me... making me feel as though my story is meant to die. I’m not saying literally - I’m not saying me dying - but me having any good experiences in life dying. No matter what I do, whether I’m shot in the back or not... it ends.

Sometimes I can look at the scene and feel inspired. I can see how fucking nervous he was to implement the cure. How he took those attempted deep breaths, how he hummed under his breath to try to comfort him as the tower was falling apart around him, how we could see how scared he was that the next fiery blast would be the one that took him out. That’s inspiring and amazing, to see someone be brave and do things despite them not feeling brave. To see him make that successful redemption in the Paragon route and become a hero that will be sung about in the generations to come (ballads about him! theatre kid Solus would feel so honored), to see that the first born krogan prince is named after him... I mean, that IS the story of a hero. That’s inspiring.

But so often what I just feel is....... a sense of loss. A loss of *me*. That I’m lost and never coming back.

And that’s not quite it either. But I don’t have the words for what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling it or why some stupid instance in just a video game (albeit a very good story) is hitting me so hard. Usually I’m like, soaking into dramatic death scenes. They’re my catharsis, weird as it sounds. I seek out recreational pain so that I can get a sense of emotional relief in my own life. But this? This was raw pain. I’m so happy I experienced it, but at the same time, I’m struggling with this. I can’t fully articulate why. I know this long vent is only part of it. 

I’m just... so sick of being nowhere.

And even if I can’t point out “why,” I just feel so... afraid... pained... hurt... to end up as he did. That I could end up like that. That a character I aspire and adore so much ended up as he did. Don’t get me wrong, it was so fitting, it was so good... but I just... emotions... I can’t.

It’s not about the game. I’m not having problems with the GAME. I’m having problems with something in my heart, resonating within my own life.

It’s the problem of seeing your own hero come crashing down I guess???

Yeah.

Seeing one’s own hero - and through that one’s own ideals and hopes and dreams - come crashing down with a bullet in his chest and a hand that never reaches the console to disseminate the cure.

Mordin’s death.

It’s somehow an attack on my own sense of hope and dreams and goals.

I just... I don’t know what more to say. I don’t even know if this is coherent... crying too hard and too lazy to reread for edits. How many times have I cried about this now?

Friendly reminder that sage all-knowing advice, “It will be okay,” or “I believe in you” responses do *NOT* make me feel better. Non-obtrusive suggestions of what’s going on in my head, saying you relate, or something like that is welcome though.

[desertchicken]

on good, painful conversations and learning how to “grow up”

i’ve done no work this weekend but somehow I’m okay with that, and I’m okay with the prospect of getting up tomorrow morning and starting on my problem sets. and what i mean when i say things are okay, is to say i’m still in the process of learning how to live in the strange cognitive space of being overwhelmed by everything i’m learning about the world, being conflicted about ideology and future aspirations, comparing myself socially/academically/professionally to those around me and finding myself wanting but also

also being okay with finding what I’m interested in pursuing, the things i’m passionate about, and acknowledging my own limitations. and accepting the fact that i’m a social and emotional being, and actually reaching out and having difficult but necessary conversations with the people i love, to actually show them i care about them in a way that neither trite nor ironic. to acknowledge my own laziness and sensitivity and inability and fear of forming opinions about things, and to guide myself towards improvement in a way that’s neither too soft nor too harsh.

what I mean to say is

what i mean to say is i haven’t written in a while, so my thoughts about things are difficult and tangled but i’ll attempt to process a bit here. maybe it would be better to wait till after finals week, but there’s just so much right now, that I thought it would be good to unload while it’s still fresh:

i had lunch with jiwon and we talked for a long time about gender expectations and being in math/econ. it was after the analysis exam (harrowing emotional experience pt. 3, one more to go) when we just kind of laid on the tables and shared in our anxiety about our exams...but somehow that conversation about marriage/the future/gendered expectations, her talking about coming from a low-income background, talking about how she feels distant from her hs friends because of the very distinct trajectories their lives have taken, was just such an unexpectedly beautiful conversation that left me deep in thought about a lot of things (even when I’m exhausted, i’m so eternally grateful for these conversations that still find me and sustain me, with close friends like maya and iyanu, with “acquaintances” like frances and jiwon and theo and minh quan and alex and peter, little by little, in degrees of comfortability and vulnerability)

and somehow that conversation in particular and hearing about jiwon and how someone like her would be okay with not getting married and having children, and just hearing her say that was so...relieving, almost? after the strange anxiety that’s gripped me recently about finding an s.o., just seeing someone who has professional and academic ambitions similar to mine and not being in a relationship and not actively searching for one was comforting in a strange way, and I think i will accept where I am right now and be okay with my youth and being “alone”, so to speak, but in the presence of these people who I am learning from continually

on a completely unrelated note, a. gave me a hug after the analysis exam. he initiated it, and it was very normal and platonic. it’s just i didn’t expect it from him, of all people.

i still haven’t replied to lem i’m not sure how i should bring it up i feel like complete and utter shit but then that’s what happens when you’re a shit like me so please respond in the future to messages promptly thank you and good bye

that night we had a conversation with people in fellowship which was probably one of the most uncomfortable discussions i’ve been in for awhile, and that’s saying something. it was about the whole multi-ethnic and racial dynamic in fellowship, and on some scale it was a microcosm of the political conversations we’ve been having and i’ve been thinking about on campus as a whole: the tension between “calling out” and persuasion, respectability politics sort of thing, anti-blackness and depoliticization in asian-american communities, and so on, and so forth. i spoke once and it wasn’t that great and i know it wasn’t about me, but i guess some things that made me uncomfortable that I mentioned to iyanu later on in the brunch we had the day afterwards:

the sort of implicit “good ally/bad ally” dynamic, esp. in the context of asian americans/asian american boys

the extremely uncomfortable place of being explicit but also not really about calling out the first year asian american friend group for being exclusive and non-asian poc who might feel uncomfortable with that friend group

somehow a talk like this is “mandatory”, but the mandatoriness is implicit, and some people find it more mandatory than others but is “politicization” a sort of hobby? are the stakes too high? (perhaps this is a horrible characterization to make but the nature of the convo almost reminded me of the whole “good christian/bad christian” dynamic in a lot of conservative christian groups

but also i understand why students like iyanu/esther/lindsey were angry, and i’m just very confused sometimes about what our community ought to prioritize

in the end it was probably something jeremy said that made things make sense to me, and it’s that it’s not even about anti-blackness or race in particular, it’s the fact that members of fellowship care only about things that affect people close to them, and don’t really care when it doesn’t. so it’s a community issue. it’s a lack of community engagement, a sort of imbalance of emotional labor, which would make any relationship fall apart. so i guess i see the point of being uncomfortable, and i’m very glad i went. 

on a related note i walked out afterwards just feeling so drained and kind of done and confused and not knowing how to process, and i’m so glad i met theo on the way who had just had a conversation with pj about the whole irreconciliable anti-blackness talk. and so we stood in the oldenborg hallway for a good two hours (didn’t feel like two hours) and just had this really intense conversation again about colonization and genocide in Christianity, and anti-blackness in asian communities but not only that but anti-blackness as a way of civilization, and it was just...i still need to process that more and there’s so much there to think more and read more about 

had brunch with iyanu the next morning and it was a difficult but extremely necessary and good conversation trying to unpack the fellowship discussion last night. i’m so grateful for her. she asks me why i keep coming back for these talks, and i realize the ugly truth that i probably wouldn’t care about these things if it wasn’t for the fact that i befriended people who weren’t asian my first year. i don’t think that makes me any “better of a person”. i hope i will never succumb to that belief. but also...that’s the whole thing about being a “good ally” and a “good asian american” though i’m not sure what I think and feel about that whole thing again 

went to the workers’ delegation protest. felt extremely uncomfortable chanting again. i don’t know what to believe sometimes. i probably should have gone to the sociology sit in as well, but I really don’t know what i believe and i need to begin taking ownership of my opinions. i think i should have gone to the sociology sit in, because it wasn’t about alice goffman, it was about transparency. anyways, i stopped by at the sage tank presentations an hour earlier, and felt very keenly the divide between different student groups on campus. students presenting their entrepreneurship ideas to gain approval from rich alumni, and later on other students shouting down oxtoby and marching around bridges. i wonder if it’s possible to be a part of both those worlds. it’s a bit jarring to think about at times

all of friday and saturday was just too much so i spent the evening laying around in my bed watching movies and looking at facebook. read the story of some little girl who got cancer who’s a friend of a friend, and she died in january. cried. watched silenced/crucible. cried so hard i got a nosebleed and felt profoundly angry at the injustice of the truth, the deep, profound injustice of abuse. (and slowly coming to terms with the fact that i feel things, and that it’s okay to base my beliefs upon emotions as long as they are grounded in fact, and being okay with feeling emotions and being human in general). which i mean, kind of helped in a way, but also i just thought about death a lot and i need to feel nice things as well. and being angsty but also learning how to grow up and have conversations with people and to balance realism with idealism and to never cease being indignant at the pain of the world... 

my aunt from shanghai visited today and we spent a surprisingly long time over dinner and in the oldenborg lounge talking (in my hesitant chinese, lmao) about self-sufficiency, charity work vs. sustainable development, inherited wealth vs. the whole “pulling up by the bootstraps” ideology, communism and capitalism, economic systems and injustice and everything. i don’t think i agree with her about everything but it was interesting to hear an opinion from someone who lives in a foreign country and also is not from my generation. and i’m grateful that she considered and responded to and was very respectful of my opinions, and that she never dismissed my ideas as the fallacy of youth or whatever. it felt very much like a discussion between “adults”, whatever that is. i feel old in a strange way that is also indicative of my youth. (though she did pay for my meal, cause she said i wasn’t working yet. lmfao)

called my parents last night and talked to them awhile about similar things. if there is anything i’m grateful for, it’s that my parents (esp my mom, probably cause she’s less busy) are progressively becoming more and more interested in discussing politics and philosophy and aapi identity and antiblackness and whatnot. even my dad is becoming more comfortable in our new mostly-black church. 

and i guess there’s not that much more than that, other than the fact that things are not necessarily becoming easier to deal with, but that i’m slowly learning how to deal with them in a way that’s not destructive to myself. maybe i’ll write about susan neiman and her book later. I still feel strange about missing out on things like the whole aamp ceremony today, seeing hanna’s pictures on facebook, hearing about people’s summer plans and internships and successes and whatnot.

but what can i say about this whirlwind of a year, of this semester? another whirlwind of a year? i will probably write more about this as the school year winds down to more of a close, but strangely enough, even though things are more difficult and stressful sophomore year has overall been a much more...lively and enriching experience(?) than my first year was. perhaps it’s the way that i was so terrified and anxious my first year of “making the most” out of my college beginning that instead i lost a lot of opportunities, and that my newfound desire to not give a fuck this semester has helped me beyond measure. what can i say, other than the fact that my world has, as I hoped for when i graduated high school, expanded far beyond the one i knew before. between skyping and having lunch with tannenbaum and sarkis, deepening friendships and intense conversations with friends and mentors in ppcf/aamp but also now in my math classes, learning not only the language of politics but now also how to stand by my own opinions, to come to the realization of the harsh, ugly reality of what the world truly looks like but also to never lose sight of the hope blooming in so many of the people i’ve come to know and love here, to feel the intimate pain of loneliness but also to learn how to openly express my love, to count and make the most of my blessings instead of comparing what i have to those around me and my friends back home because

because i’ve learned something about myself: that i’m sensitive and easily overwhelmed and i take a lot of time to process information, that the littlest things like these conversations hold so much meaning for me. but also to learn to accept my own seriousness and sincerity, but to take it with a grain of salt as well and be okay with lightness but never chastising myself in the whole “angsty teen” way of being misunderstood about being complex or needing to be someone i’m not

there’s just so much here, there’s so much, and i’m tired but also deeply grateful for what i’ve learned here and am continuing to learn, for my capacity to learn. 

[seanmeverett]

Diary of a Madman, Page 38

10,900 people peering inside, you’re one of the chosen.

I. This Week’s Analyses [Aerospace & Business]

Biodegradable Battery [FEATURED]: your future biohacked, personal power station, available today. Learn more on the Energy channel.

ULA’s Roadmap for the New Space Economy [fountainhead]: notes from the international workshop a month ago. Learn more on the Space channel.

Acronyms for Autonomous Airplanes [free]: a decade of insight collapsed down into a few vocabulary words. Learn more on the Aviation channel.

2017 Startup Compensation Report & How To Understand It [fountainhead]: take it from 5 years of experience designing incentive compensation programs for some of the most valuable businesses in the world. Learn more on the Startup channel.

What Dark Energy Has To Do With Your Soul [fountainhead]: the point at which physics crosses the spiritual. Learn more on the Philosophy channel.

200-Page Talent & Organization Design Notes [fountainhead]: an entire set of class notes from one of my Chicago Booth classes. The machine that builds the machine. Learn more on the HR channel.

How To Apply Hodinkee’s Business Model to Other Businesses [fountainhead]: three very simple mechanics that make all the difference. Learn more on the Business channel.

II. Manifestation Beads

We all need a little help in life, especially from those who give more than they receive. We met a friendly couple on Sunday who quit their nursing and programming jobs, sold their house, and started on their passion. Since they did that and jumped into the river of the Universe, it has carried them ever-forward faster than they could have imagined.

A storefront opened up the moment they decided they wanted one, a man selling bags showed up the moment they spoke their desire out loud. And off they were to the races. They don’t have a web store up, but after witnessing their small cottage business and remembering back to the Hodinkee business model analysis earlier this week, we think they’re really onto something.

First, their product starts with the benefit to you. Ultimate Prosperity Bracelet. Ultimate Wealth Bracelet.

They use high quality parts in their product. The beads aren’t just off-the-shelf.

They describe their product in detail with the hang tag. Both in terms of each crystal’s vibration and benefits to the wearer.

But most importantly, the woman is a Light Worker, and customizes the experience just for you. She asks you what you’re seeking. She recommends a bracelet or makes one custom with the right combination of crystals to help you achieve exactly what you’re looking for. Then she talks to you for about 5 to 10 minutes and gives you some advice.

Say out loud what you want from the universe and the time period you want it. Just like ordering from a restaurant you know your food will come to you. And then, don’t feel guilty about wanting something or having achieved it.

All for an obtainable price point of $25 to $40.

When you compare this to most software startups selling marketing or CRM software, this husband and wife team are running circles around them. Crowds form just to wait and hear her speak to you, giving your own special message. And then you have a physical object to take home and wear to remind you of how powerful you are, and what you’re capable of manifesting.

We might just help them with eCom since we do have a store of our own. Give me a shout if you’re interested in their product and I can put you in touch.

III. Newsworthy News

Music: as a control mechanism from Coltrane’s math to user interfaces. Listen to our Spring 2017 Think Tank Playlist, nearly 3 hours of feel good vibrations in honor of Coachella.

Space: the innovation landscape from NASA. Quarterly Space Tech funding chart for the last 5 years. It’s comin’ up. In the meantime, the new Star Wars trailer dropped. The new Space Economy is just getting started. Goldman Sachs even believes in it.

Energy: we’re now a Top Writer on Medium for Energy.

Throwback: the biggest problem with every search engine.

Social Media: Instagram now has more Stories users than Snapchat. That didn’t take long.

Emotions: they are just your Biologic Intelligence interpreting the billion bits of sensory inputs you’re receiving. A shortcut, if you will.

China: been telling ya, they’re getting in too deep to US startups for the Pentagon’s tastes.

A Good Deed: she’s giving two grants of $5K each to live your dream.

Investing: mutual funds are the devil. Also, look at Japan and Emerging markets, so say the “experts”. Read more than them and you will become your own.

VC: 74-page deck on global VC trends. Seed funding is down because people are sick of silly mobile SAAS apps. Invent, don’t innovate, entrepreneurs.

Invention: Bezos’s annual shareholder letter, this time, mentioned invention, not innovation. Thanks for believing the reading, Jeff.

Robotics: investment [per Michael Hartnett of Bank of America]: Sept 2016: $200M, Apr 2017: $1.12B. That’s a 5.5x increase in 7 months.

Cell Service: we made the switch to T-Mobile a year ago, loved the $0 overseas fees, and now they’ve invested $8B in their next gen 5G network.

Apps: binaries are getting massive, to the point you need to be connected to WiFi to do any sort of updates. Their CDN bill must be massive.

AR: AirPods are on back, back order. People ordering now have to wait 14 weeks. We ordered ours 9 weeks ago, won’t get until May 1st. Also, Apple’s secret diabetes team working on health integrations for future AirPods? Our analysis on where they’re heading.

Animation: the MoonBot guys are old friends with great storytelling chops. The future of animation is AR.

Video: Brightcove finally got themselves a Live platform. Welcome to the party, chaps.

Chips: more efficient microchips make themselves super.

Biohacking: this time, at Six Flags.

Self-Driving: Deep Learning gets you to Level 3 self-driving. Years of data gets you to Level 4. But making the quantum leap to Level 5, means you need something altogether different. PROME’s Biologic Intelligence is what comes next after you reach the limits of Deep Learning. Visualized. VW invests $180M in a Chinese AI startup. Not biologic in nature. Whoops.

Tech Cars: Apple building its own GPU and hiring key Imagination folks + QNX CEO is a play for in-car AR. The writing is right there on the white wall.

Roadmap for the Species: A computer in every house. A phone in every pocket. A robotic friend in every mind.

CARS SOLD Toyota: 10.2M cars sold in 2016 Daimler: 2.2M Volkswagen: 10.3M Honda: 4.7M GM: 9.6M Tesla: 76,230 Ford: 6.7M

VALUATION Toyota: $172B Daimler: $76B Volkswagen: $72B Honda: $52B Tesla: $51B GM: $50B Ford: $45B

The difference between fun and danger might just be perspective of age.

— Sean

Read The Rest

In one list or: 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Humanizing Tech is a premium technological think tank for building humanity’s future. It covers Biologic Intelligence, autonomous robotics, self-learning AI, superhuman augmentation, personal hedge funds, editable DNA, SAAS space platforms, personal power stations, and video as an app. This newsletter is a peek inside the Editor’s mind.

Diary of a Madman, Page 38 was originally published in Humanizing Tech on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from Stories by Sean Everett on Medium http://ift.tt/2oPsSzh