#i love all the meanings and symbolism in this show

[francesderwent]

so for the purposes of this discussion I’m going to assume that we all agree that it’s not a desirable state of affairs to be sexually intimate with a whole bunch of people just for fun. I know not everybody agrees with that *gestures vaguely to the sexual revolution and the hookup culture*, but if I have to prove that first then that’s going to take forever and I don’t think it’s what we’re talking about anyway.

we’re going to assume that our interlocutor believes sex and love do have something to do with each other, and wants to know why we shouldn’t treat sex the way that most television shows these days treat sex: like kissing on the lips. you’re in love with your boyfriend so you kiss him on the lips. and then you might break up, and fall in love again and kiss a new boyfriend on the lips. in certain circumstances you might kiss someone on the lips who isn’t your boyfriend, like if they save your life or you go through a bonding experience together or something. and eventually you get married to someone and you only kiss that guy on the lips from then on, but you have kissed a few other guys before and it’s not a big deal or a scandal at all. why, is the question, can’t we treat sex exactly the same?

so, point one is: because the whole physical world is infused with symbolic meaning, the human body speaks a language of its own. we don’t assign meanings to the “words”, they’re inherent and universal. you can’t twist bodily actions to mean whatever you want them to mean, they’re going to go on saying what they really mean whether you want them to or not. a slap does not mean love; its violence is not and cannot be loving. a kiss does not mean hatred; Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss adds an extra layer of hurt to his deception.

point two: in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. when we lie with the body, the whole real world we live in resists us. we’re trying to impose our own meaning by our own will onto something that already has its own meaning, given it by God, and quite frankly, God’s meaning is stronger and it’s gonna win. think of this as living in a state of denial—even if you can stay in your denial for a little while, eventually, reality will have its say, it will make itself felt. more on this later.

point three: sex, as a word in the language of the body, is saying something other than just “I feel love for you”—i.e. it is saying something different than a kiss. how do we know this? first of all, sex causes bonding on a chemical level in a way that kissing absolutely does not! secondly, sex creates children—and therefore exists on a very different level than kissing! both of these differences point to this: kissing as a “word” speaks about love as desire, when it says “I feel love for you” it’s mostly saying “I want you”. sex as a word speaks something more, it says something in itself about a commitment which is forever. what sex is saying is “I give all of myself to you and I receive all of you in return, we belong to each other forever”.

point four: the only circumstances in which sex can be spoken truly is marriage. sex speaks in the body the same total commitment that is made in the marriage vows, reiterating and confirming the mutual gift that has already been given.

this is sort of where it gets tricky (and where I think TOB speakers often fail their listeners), because when you’re dating somebody, if you’re not being disingenuous and stringing them along until you find something better, you do hope that you’ll be together forever. and so the more you fall in love with someone, the more you naturally (and appropriately, I’d say!) want to have sex with them, because you want to be able to express your longing for that forever. you don’t intend to lie with your body! you want to say what sex says and make it true in the saying of it!

I think the usual Christian response is to say “ah yes, but that forever isn’t yet promised or guaranteed, so you don’t know if it’s ever going to come”. and as much as the person currently head-over-heels in love doesn’t want to hear it, unfortunately it is very real. for every Jack who meets his first serious girlfriend in college, has sex with her because he really wants them to be together forever, and then marries her six years later having had sex with no one but her, there’s just as many (if not more) Jill’s who meets her first serious boyfriend in high school, has sex with him because she really wants them to be together forever, then is blindsided by a breakup and goes on to repeat the pattern with several more boyfriends before she finally finds the “one”. it’s a tragically common story, so common that the trauma of it is becoming harder to recognize. but it causes severe emotional and psychological harm, to give all of yourself to a person hoping for the gift to be received, only to have your whole self be rejected, or trivialized, or used and discarded. it takes tremendous courage for Jill to pick herself up and believe in love again, and often she’s disappointed over and over again. even when the “one” does appear and the gift is finally received completely in marriage, the scars don’t fade completely. I think a lot of people who get their happy ending end up experiencing that phenomenon of psychological backdraft, all their old sexual traumas bubbling up again now that they finally have a healthy sexual experience to know how it should have been. they then have to spend the honeymoon years of their marriage healing from everything that came before. so the usual Christian guidance is “you don’t want to go into marriage with all that baggage, so better to wait just to make sure”.

and while I do think avoiding trauma is generally a good idea, I think this is a little bit of a cop-out. for one thing, it kind of seems to be saying “don’t have sex with your significant other, because you don’t really know if they’re telling the truth about wanting to marry you”—that is, it’s encouraging you to not trust your partner. sure (she said sarcastically), that sounds healthy!! there has to be a better, more loving reason not to have sex with a significant other before marriage. and it’s this: if the Church’s teaching about sex and marriage are really true, then it is just as wrong for Jack to have sex with his girlfriend before marriage as it is for Jill to have sex with her boyfriend—Jack’s eventual marriage to his girlfriend doesn’t retroactively validate every instance of premarital sex! and if Jack having sex with his girlfriend before they got married is wrong, then what we’re saying is it must be hurting them. even though their love story ended happily! even though they did end up giving and receiving the gift of self completely! getting things “out of order” is hurting them and making them unhappy. this is the burden of proof, and it’s much harder than proving Jill’s sexual history is hurting her. and yet if we believe Church teaching, it must be true!

so we return at last to my above point two—in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. and here’s the kicker: we are not God. we cannot make a thing so just by saying it. so no matter how understandable it is to try to create a relationship that will last forever by speaking forever with our bodies, it simply does not work that way. when the word is spoken out of the context which makes it true (i.e. when you have sex outside of marriage), it does not and cannot bring that whole context into being—it doesn’t create a vow of fidelity, it doesn’t create a shared life, it doesn’t create a public commitment. someone can have sex with you and then break up with you, someone can have sex with you and then get in their car and go home leaving you there by yourself to sleep alone, someone can have sex with you and then pretend you don’t exist. the sex, on its own, doesn’t create a slippery slope that leads swiftly and inevitably to marriage. it just creates tension between the life you actually have, unmarried, and the unreal life you’re pretending you have in sleeping with one another. it makes all those parts of yourselves that you haven’t shared stand out more strongly, making you feel every little separation as a wound. and instead of creating a sense of peace and security, it leads to a kind of desperate grasping feeling—“we’re acting like us being together forever is a done deal, but it’s not a done deal, it’s not set in stone, so what can I do to make it work, how can I control this, how can I make him want me enough to stay?” even if in the end Jack proposes, the foundation of the relationship has been damaged. it can be healed, and rebuilt! but it is not good for a relationship to develop under that kind of strain. not good, and not necessary.

what’s the alternative? when you wait to have sex until marriage, your dating years with a partner can be years of expectantly looking forward in hope, while also living in the moment. you are not married yet—so your relationship is not set in stone, you’re still deciding what kind of relationship you want to have together, which means it can still get better and better as you build it. talk a LOT! talk about everything! talk about your pasts, talk about your dreams for the future! work out your issues in the present instead of covering them over with physical affection! because you’re not burdened by the anxious desperation to turn a lie into the truth, you will be able to see more clearly what the strengths and the weaknesses of the relationship really are, which allows you to address your weaknesses and work on them! and because you’re not pretending like you’re already totally committed, the prospect of actually making a total commitment will be more and more attractive. when you’re not trying to act like you’re married already, it’s so much easier to have open conversations about the future you want together, and easier to know when it’s time right now to take steps to get there. and that’s exciting! it’s fun to have stuff to look forward to, it’s fun to make plans together!

it’s not a better way because there’s less collateral damage, because you’re hedging your bets playing it safe just in case something goes wrong. it’s a better way because it’s all about letting love develop in its own time, according to its own internal laws. I’m not gonna say “guard your heart”, as if your significant other was an enemy at the gates. instead, “guard your relationship”, because it’s worth protecting, worth giving every chance to be as happy as it can be.

[maypiles]

VERY TOO SCARILY SPECIFIC MESSAGE WANTING TO COME THROUGH 🥀

❗Take what resonates and leave what does not. Please don't try to force the reading this is very too specific message❗

So, today was supposed to be a cute little "pick a pile" day, you know, something simple, but nope, Spirit decided otherwise. I woke up with this weirdly specific download that hit me like a truck, and now here we are. I swear, Spirit is out here writing soap operas, and I’m just the messenger. If this post finds you, it's for you—or someone you know. Maybe it’s a sign, a wake-up call, or that nudge you’ve been ignoring for way too long. Either way, buckle up because this one’s not just a message; it’s a plot twist. Let’s get into it.

All right, buckle up, because Spirit is coming for your life today, and I’m just the messenger. First off, let me tell you, I don’t even listen to Billie Eilish, okay? except for that one TikTok trending line from "NDA": "You hit me so hard, I saw stars, you couldn’t save me, but you can’t let me go." That’s literally the anthem of this message. I woke up with that playing in my head, which means Spirit decided this needed to be channeled urgently. Whoever stumbles upon this post, it’s not just a coincidence. Spirit does not play around, and this message will either hit you right in the feels or make you think of someone who’s in this exact situation.

Let’s talk about what’s going down:

This reading is so tied to Pile 3 from my last post that it might as well be a sequel. If you picked Pile 3, or even if you didn’t but felt drawn here—hello, welcome, Spirit has entered the chat.

What Spirit is screaming at you about:

There’s a divine feminine in the spotlight here—a true Empress, possibly a Taurus (big Earth energy, though she’s got fire placements, don’t @ me). This is a woman who’s spiritual AF, the kind who probably keeps lunar moth symbolism somewhere in her Pinterest boards. Spirit is showing me snow, transformation, and the sun breaking through—a metaphorical rebirth.

This Empress is in a marriage or committed relationship with a fire sign masculine, and Sagittarius is loud here. But let me just say it: this connection is dead. D-E-A-D. It’s like a decaying fruit you keep trying to salvage but deep down, you know it’s only attracting flies. Sis, you’re not satisfied, and you’ve been suspecting him of cheating—maybe you’ve even gone full-blown FBI mode looking for proof. And guess what? You might not find anything in his phone because this isn’t just about infidelity. This is divine orchestration. (Spirit says you're manifesting him to. ArE yUo??)

About him:

(I hear spirit calling him a bitch 🙂)

Your fire-sign masculine (showing up as the King of Wands reversed) isn’t cheating out of malice. It’s not about you. He’s being karmically redirected, facing his own lessons. Spirit says this isn’t your burden to carry anymore. Let him go, let him learn, because you are being called to step up into your Empress energy. This is your moment.

And, oh, honey, let’s talk about the real tea: there’s someone else in your energy—a true Emperor (big Virgo vibes, but there’s a hint of water there too). I’m not saying this is a "right now" situation. This feels like a "right person, wrong time" scenario. You’ve been lowkey denying your feelings, but Spirit is like, "Stop lying to yourself." Dreams? Pay attention to them. That spicy one you had? Yeah, it’s not random. That’s the new person energetically knocking on your door (or could be someone you already know).

The storm before the glow-up:

You’re being asked to walk away, even though it feels like a storm. The Tower is here, loud and proud, because this divorce (or separation) will feel like a loss—but it’s actually your victory. This is your transformation, your cocoon-breaking moment. Yes, it might take time—Spirit says several months to a year and a half—but the delay is working in your favor. Why? So you can fully heal, step into your power, and reunite with your true soulmate at the right time.

Details Spirit won’t let me skip:

Uranus energy: Sudden changes, rebellion, chaos. This might feel overwhelming, but it’s the catalyst you need. Also, Uranus could be strong aspected in your chart or it could be your dominant planet or in your seventh house even. OMG IS IT 7TH HOUSE AQUARIUS?

Age gap: You might be older than your new person (the Emperor), and school or mentorship could be significant.

Health issues: Some of you might be dealing with migraines, anxiety, or even a literal broken bone. Take care of yourself.

Ancestry: Someone here might have Syrian heritage, listening to Syrian songs, travelled to Syrian, or that’s significant in some way.

Spiritual practices: You’re already intuitive AF, but Spirit is asking you to trust that. Your High Priestess energy is peaking, babe.

The cards are screaming:

The Ace of Pentacles and Empress are your starting and ending points. Spirit is giving you the tools to build something solid, something aligned with your true self. But first, you have to let go of what’s not working.

Your fire sign masculine (again, King of Wands reversed) is showing up with the Nine of Swords, Tower, and Five of Cups—he’s bringing chaos, regret, and heartbreak. Meanwhile, your Virgo Emperor (King of Pentacles) is all about stability, love, and real partnership. This is a 10/10 upgrade, sis.

But here’s the thing: Spirit isn’t just handing you this glow-up. The Hanged Man, Hermit, and High Priestess are asking you to do the inner work. Shadow work. Letting go. Closing cycles. And don’t rush the process—this transformation is meant to take time.

The Judgment, World, and Fool cards are here to say: You’ve got this. Close the old chapter, embrace the new beginning, and trust that you’re being divinely guided.

Spirit’s final mic drop:

Your outcome? Ten of Cups, Sun, Ace of Cups, and Emperor energy. You’re stepping into your divine alignment, creating the life you’ve always dreamed of. This isn’t just a glow-up—it’s a full-on cosmic upgrade.

So, sis, stop running in circles. Let go of the fear. The snow is melting, the sun is rising, and your wings are ready to spread. Transformation is here.

P.S. Don’t you dare ignore your dreams. Spirit is spilling the tea while you sleep.

EDIT: THAT BITCH OF SPIRIT ISN'T DONE YET

All right, let me just start this edit by saying Spirit is relentless and will not let me breathe. I was ready to hit post on this whole saga, but nooo, here I am dragging my oracle deck into the chaos because Spirit said, "We’re not done yet. Pick it up."

And guess what? The oracle cards came in guns blazing, like, "Hey, you forgot to mention that the Divine Feminine is basically scripting her entire life right now." Oh, you wanted closure? Nah, here’s a manifested trilogy, complete with cheating, divorce, a second marriage, and that one soulmate who’s been lurking in the shadows of your dreams like a rom-com waiting to happen. You’re welcome.

Let me spell it out for the DF here because Spirit has no chill:

1. Make the effort: That great love you want? It’s on the way, but only if you stop stalling and take the steps you’ve been guided to take.

2. Divorce: It’s not just a breakup; it’s a rite of passage for your soul’s growth.

3. Very soon: Time to get clear. What do you want? (Hint: it’s not what you’re clinging to.)

4. Calling in your soulmate: Prayers, visualizations, affirmations? You’re doing it. That soulmate? They’re clocking in.

5. True love: Spoiler alert: It’s the real deal. But you’ve gotta clear the karmic clutter first.

And can we just talk about this plot twist for a second? The Divine Feminine is over here manifesting the entire package—the cheating, the heartbreak, the rebirth, the glow-up, and the reunion with her Emperor. She’s scripting this life like it’s her magnum opus. Even Spirit’s like, “She’s got the vision, so let’s give her the drama to match.” LET HER COOK.

But don’t get it twisted. This is not just chaos for chaos’s sake. Every step is part of the Divine Master Plan™. Karmic lessons? Check. Shadow work? Oh, absolutely. And that second marriage? Let’s just say it’s not just about love—it’s about stepping into your highest self and finally getting what you deserve.

So, DF, if this reading feels like it’s dragging you, just remember: Spirit’s not being mean. Spirit’s being specific. Now go journal, light some candles, and make peace with the fact that you’re the main character in this cosmic soap opera. Stay alive, and may your karmic lessons lead you straight to your Emperor.

URGH 😩 let me just get this off my chest because I feel personally attacked by Spirit right now. Like, what do you mean "too specific"? Since when is being specific a crime? At this rate, my blog is going to turn into a full-on "channeled therapy hotline" because Spirit just keeps exposing people—and apparently me too, for reasons I do not appreciate. Let me tell you, I woke up with Billie Eilish in my head (again, Spirit, WHY), channeling your entire life story, and now it’s giving "TikTok psychic who accidentally goes viral for saying someone’s cat is named Buttons." Like, do you see how specific this is getting? Lunar moths, snow, Syrian ancestry, migraines? It’s like, Spirit, please chill before I need to call my own hotline for emotional support. At this point, I might as well start a TikTok because these pick-a-pile readings are out here turning into full-blown docuseries. Who even needs to pick a pile anymore when Spirit is like, "No, we’re just going to read you for filth directly and leave no room for ambiguity. DELIVER THE MESSAGE AND SHUT UP." And don’t get me started on the energy of this whole post. I feel like some of y’all are reading this and thinking, "Wow, this sounds like a private consultation." Like, yeah, it does, doesn’t it? Because Spirit doesn’t know how to keep things light. But fine, if this is what we’re doing now, let me just embrace my destiny as the internet’s most oddly specific tarot reader. My TikTok bio would probably say something like: "Tarot? Sure. But also your migraine, that spicy dream, and why your cat is staring at the wall—let’s unpack it." Anyway, to whoever needed this reading: I hope it hit. Because Spirit made sure it would. Now go handle your business, close those cycles, and let me go journal about why I suddenly feel exposed by my own cards. Stay alive. 💋

[conflictofthemind]

Fairytales and the 'Treeflayer'

While doing my investigations for Season 5, I wanted to know which book specifically was underneath this shot (actual shot from the show) of a Wrinkle in Time that Holly is probably reading in class. Thanks to everyone that told me it was the Arthur Rackham Fairy Book I was able to do some digging into it, and this definitely is not some random book they got at a garage sale and threw in the show.

Arthur Rackham was part of the Golden Age of Illustration that happened in the late 1800s to early 1900s. A lot of these illustrators drew for fairy tales, and Rackham's work is distinct for having a dark fantasy feeling and featuring very detailed twisty trees in the majority of his illustrations. In many cases the trees are animate and interacting with the protagonists.

The one that looks the most similar to the dead tree that young UD!Will is falling from in the teaser, and the one he is also looking up to in the recent pictures / also teaser is an illustration he made for Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland. If you've been following along at all you'll know that the entire Holly and Creel thing that's going on in Season 5 (and has breadcrumbs scattered through the rest of the series) is based primarily off of Alice.

His illustrations for Alice in Wonderland actually is the work he is most famous for, alongside one of the Peter Pan novels (Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens, basically his origin story). And there's definitely lots of inspiration from that tale as well, referenced multiple times in the show and on the inspo board for Season Four.

It goes a bit deeper - one of the supernatural things that Holly notices in Season Three is the trees moving when the 'Flesh Flayer' is passing through the woods. I talked about this around a week ago but (minor spoilers/leak) Will and Holly will be spending ample time together this season. I think he takes it upon himself as the first victim to try and save another child from being lured in by Vecna, especially when that child is his love's younger sister.

But back to the point, whatever is going on with the tree is definitely important. I have little to no clue what the tree means symbolically (like - why was a tree chosen to become a monster when inanimate things have never been taken control of in this way?). Trees are a big part of fairy tale imagery though, take Into The Woods, or this could be an allusion to Jack and The Beanstalk. A poor boy Jack Will climbs a giant beanstalk tree and outsmarts the ogre demogorgon chasing after him.

Sadly, nobody has archived the specific Treeflayer Pinterest board before it was set to private and the only image remaining is this one:

[marsprincess889]

Intuitive messages

Random and symbolic. This may or may not be for you, trust your intuition.

Disclaimer: I start to channel with images, feelings/vibes and random symbols, then I see storylines and then other messages come too. These might be ??? to you in the beginning but please, trust that if you truly think that you picked your group correctly, then there is, most likely, a message there for you, even if it's not obvious at first.

Note: I have a lot of love for all of these three groups and collectives, a lot😭 I think we'd get along really well irl if it's not weird to say. Sending all of you compassion and love. Wish all of you luck🤍

Picture 1:

Signs: lizard, iguana, Slavic, name Irina, "The Great"(2020-2023), candles, Eastern Orthodoxy, Orthodox Christmas(happy late Orthodox Christmas guys🤍), "Slavic bimbo" aesthetic, goose/geese, pine tree forest, mandarin orange, Barbara, a barber?, brown colored desserts, Claire/Clarisse/Clara, Tchsikovsky, berries, Alina, Shadow and Bone(the whole of Grishaverse but specifically the S&B part of it). Nakshatras of Shatabhisha, Ardra, Ashlesha, Dhanishta, Vishakha.

"Oh Irina..."

Hello Irina.

If you're not named Irina or something similar, it might be the name of a person relevant to you or this reading. Or maybe you just like the name/it means something to you.

I'm seeing darker colors of Winter. I got a distinct Slavic vibe for this group, but might be somewhere else.

Now I'm getting the word "malina", which means raspberry, and the name Alina.

I think I'm seeing Alina and being reminded of "Shadow and Bone" so that I can channel the message...

It does not have to be relevant to you.

Anyways, Alina is the protagonist of "Shadow and Bone"(book trilogy and a show), for those who don't know, and she's the Sun summoner(only one of her kind), representing light that is eventually going to fight the darkness. That theme of light and dark and their interplay is the perhaps the most obvious theme of that work.

Spoiler alert😭 sorry.

Alina repressed her powers in the beginning, while being tested, so that she would not be discovered, fearing that if she did in fact have powers, she would be taken away from her best friend from the orphanage, not wanting to be apart from him. They were children then.

For context, she could have had any power but the power of the Sun Summoner had been prophesized and highly desired, not only by grishas(basically, people with powers in that universe) but for also saving the kingdom of Ravka(Slavic coded) from the fold(it's a wall/passage of void and darkness). So, she gave up a life in the palace, that grishas get, to stay in the orphanage with her best friend, unknowingly depriving the nation of the Sun Summoner for years as a result😭.

There might be a theme of willing or concious concealment, most likely of yourself.

There are many variations of this: some of you are doing it for noble reasons, some of you do it for survival, some of you do it just... because, reasons.

A version of this is that you have hidden your views, opinions, preferences, thoughts, feelings and/or small actions, because you think people around you will harm you? This sounds intense, I'm sorry if this is true. Maybe not physically harm you, but you guys just have a concious need or desire for extreme privacy and secrecy. It looks to me like you're doing this to reach a specific goal.

For some of you, most likely a minority, I'm getting that this is a pregnancy, and that it's not from a committed relationship or a marriage.

For others, it's a course you decided to take in life, maybe about choosing a degree or wanting to learn something(literally taking a course for a skill) on your own.

For the rest, this might be just passivity and silence around others when there might be a tense situation. This is probably the only instance in this group where I'm guided to say that that is not the best choice at all, in fact, it might be setting you back.

"Don't assume when you don't see"

"Don't express what you don't know"

Interesting... I think you guys are not only concealing your truths, but also sharing things that mean little to you. You might be speaking a lot about politics, for example, when it's of little interest to you, and your opinions might be strong too. Or you might partake in gossip about people you don't care about at all. You might be wasting your energy on outside things that keep the life around you going in some way, but deep down you feel ignored and jaded, keeping your world a secret. A feeling I'm getting while writing this is exhaustion, and a string of hope, fleeting, barely there. It's like you have a little eagerness and enthusiasm for sharing your opinions/choices/reality(whatever you're hiding) all the while it's getting trampled on over and over and over...

This is torturous. You should be able to feel included in the life around you. Your values are imperative and they should reflect on your outward reality. I know that you are concealing them in hopes of working on making them manifest in reality, but no. Your struggle is not worth whatever can be achieved by this. It might make things way worse...

Trust yourself and don't listen to me if you think I'm wrong, especially if your situation does concern pregnancy or a huge life choice, but please, hear me out too if you can.

"There is a sign" is what I've got. You might be given a sign about where you will be heard, valued and supported. Something about the letter U and nuts is what I'm getting already😭. These, and the sign you might get can be signs of a place or a person, of where or to whom you should go to if you're tired of pretending and in need of a relief.

"Your mother loves you". This is definitely for someone. Most likely a feminine. Maybe for Irina.

I'm hearing "you have everything". There is so much that is a treasure around you, even if it seems like everything surrounding you only restricts you. You have that passion inside, and other people have not managed to erase your dreams completely, have they?

You might be close to reaching the finish line of whatever you're trying to achieve. This is an encouraging and proud sign that you are on the destined path, driving on the destined road. Keep going, it's right there...

Picture 2:

Signs: Shakespeare, drama, existentialism, period movies/tv, longing for love and passion, medieval fantasy/history/films/cosplay/comedy/anything, Aidan, Gwen/Gwyn, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, USA, The Witcher, Ciri from The Witcher, daydreamer, Phantom Of The Opera, past life regression attempts(successful or not), 124, Jack, Jackson, "liar liar", emotional/intense music, poems, boarding school?, "Jack and the beanstalk", rainy weather, Monty Python, quiet kid, bug/bugs. Nakshatras: Pushya, Bharani, Mula, Krittika.

Jack, this is the pile of Jack.

I don't know who this is. Jack might even be a character. It might be something different for everyone.

Ohhhh I got "Jack and the beanstalk", okayyy...

Someone here is non-binary, I'm also getting gay men in their younger years.

Middle child or youngest child?

Some of you love theater, but that's an obvious explanation of the images I'm getting. There's a flavor of dramaticism and theatrical behavior.

But the soul of Jack or whoever is reading this is that of a dreamer. And the dreamer that they are, dreams big. You have a wonderful, rich, spectacular mix of stories, feelings, aspirations inside of you, and that world is the highest, most precious thing for you.

Jack climbed the beanstalk, went higher and higher than his mundane world. And I think that's what the theme of the message is, in a way.

There's something fiery with the way you guys present yourselves, something filled with passion and real, intense but self-aware care. You seem aware of your nature and delight in it. There's something airy and "larger than life" about you, but at the same time_ aware and grounded. I don't think I'm describing it properly but that energy feels very beautiful to me.

Might be off topic but the images I'm getting here are: a redhead young woman with blue eyes(or is she blonde?) with her hair flying and she has a very present/aware but dreamy expression, red and black plaid, Scottish highlands, rainy/gloomy/misty weather in mountains, fire, colors red and green in general. Someone here might be from Scotland, have Scottish ancestry or maybe they just love the country to the point where it means a lot to them. For the rest, you might have been getting signs about it, or seeing Scotland as a sign? Anyway, it's a sign you're being given now.

"Jack and the beanstalk" is a fascinating story because it's describing an ambitious but mostly go-with-the-flow, relaxed boy, and him climbing the beanstalk and believing the person who gave him the beans can make people describe him as having his "head in the clouds", and also having the fiery drive to just climb it😭. Aries energy is just like that, so maybe you have Aries(sidereal, but ig can be tropical too) as an important placement. But I'm also getting air signs, and earth signs, and Pisces.

So when Jack came back from the land of the giants, he brought gifts. Gifts that he had stolen btw but let's not dwell on that😭

Weirdly I don't think this is a message about "be true to your dreams, believe in them and share their results with your loved ones" as sweet as that is, because you're way past that like that is not your focus at all. It's also not the message of "you have to ground your dreams somehow in the practical reality". I don't think that's an issue for you. Even if it is, I think there's a different message here and I'm not sure what it is yet...

Someone realized something that made them have clarity. It's you. You have seen/heard/realized something. I'm getting you laughing about it, maybe from relief, happiness and/or irony.

I'm getting a situation that concerns a person you know. They either helped you or you want to help them/have helped them. I don't think you're super close with them. They don't seem like a family member. But the situation is close to your heart, spirit and soul... You might think this is karmic, something you have to do. Like, if you help them you'll be rewarded and free of a burden.

"Jack is in their head"

That was said to me from my intuition. Why are you in your head? (All of you are Jack now for a second ok?😭 all of you are named Jack, for all intents and purposes)

"Jack is a good kid"

I know. You are. Maybe you needed to hear this.

Why is this connected to your "head in the clouds" or your character though? Maybe I needed to get into your energy.

I'm getting names Mabel, Mary, Harley and Holly now. Ok. Got them quickly. Might be you or someone else, maybe that person. Isla? Something about a cage, a secret understanding between you and that someone?

Are you worried? You are trapped somehow, feeling sad about it? But you were not harmed, at least that's not how you see it. You might feel guilty or sad for someone, and a lot. Oh I so did not expect this to go here. It's like a very engaging story.... which I got in the beginning. The drama, the story, the realization. What is happenning?

Did that happen already? And then you realized something and were done with it?

(Note: so I got up and walked around, hoping to get more info. This is what came to me, some of these details nay resonate with you but the message stays:)

"Jack is a kid(you might be in your early 20s at most). He lives in Scotland, has an older brother and a younger sister. Jack has great leadership potential and a character that suits it inside him, but he's too "over it" and has a grounded but high perspective that prevents him from engaging or caring too much, and makes him more deatched, kind if like you(so Jack is like me huh). Jack saw something he shouldn't have seen, realized something he shouldn't have known. He went and apologized to whomever it concerned and then left that situation. Now Jack feels even worse, worn out and guilty. In his mind, that situation is over, he does not want to go back to it, and he does not have to, but he must have peace of mind. Jack is a good kid. That girl(maybe that other person is a female. I'm getting Isla or and S name that has I in it?) will talk to you and give you relief. Don't worry Jack."

Wow. So that already happened. You might have any of the pronouns btw, I just wrote "he". So you know what happened and most don't. Maybe, in that situation, someone from your family has wronged that person or you indirectly/unknowingly harmed them, or thought you did. You went to explain yourself and be rid of it. I think it has really worn you out, made you think too much. And that situation is also a secret that you were not supposed to know.

If you have not resonated to a single thing in this reading yet, idk what to tell you. But here's the theme: you have a high perspective and understanding, against your will, but you also like it most times. You will reach success?? I'm getting success for you, congrats, mainly in self-development/dreams/career for some. Some of you might be on your way to fame actually, minor or major, but only take this if it makes sense for you. It might be unexpected though. You have to stop thinking too much about whatever that situation is that dragged you down energetically. If that part of getting invloved in a secret mess resonates, then that other person is going to, most likely, say thanks/apologize/acknowledge your actions.

You can take that experience as a lesson and a turning point. You might remember it with a lot of feeling in the future, reminiscing on it with quiet comtemplation or vivid memory.

I still don't know the whole story of this. Is there a secret child involved? Let me know maybe...

Either way, I hope you have a good day, Jack😉🤍

Picture 3:

Signs: clean white sheets, linen, horses, color white, green meadows, wired earphones, clear blue skies, cloudy evenings in summer, youth/childhood, 33, rivers, washing clothes in a river, nymphs, lambs, calf, distrust of older males, visible joy, hidden suspicions/fears, Annie/Annika/Anne/Anya..., golden brown/ light blonde or long and dark brown/black hair, white tea, Bern(Switzerland)(big sign), Geneva(Switzerland), Lorraine(Germany), white flowers, Jasmine(name or flower), Elizabeth/Liz, initial T(might be of anything). Nakshatras of Punarvasu, Jyeshta, Uttara Bhadrapada.

I'm getting something about a rural environment, maybe about a family home there. It's in the mountains and there is a lot of green there in the summer.

This is most likely a memory or a previous wish/dream. I'm hearing now it was something that has happened and something you have a clear/vivid memory of, still.

I'm getting a sense of a (extended)family gathered together somewhere. I'm seeing it's in Summer months but it could've been anytime. It seems like a happy and carefree occassion. There might have been a man/male, someone older who raised hair or set off a silent alarm within you. You, the person reading this, might have noticed something or just gotten a gut feeling about him that gave you an ick, a huge ick actually. What's interesting is that I think only you noticed it, there certaiy was not much validation from others when it came to that.

"You were not imagining it"

"Someone was wrong"

"Children notice a lot"

I am so sorry but I am getting creepy and disgusting energy from that person. An older female(maybe a male for some of you) in your family/in that group might have defended him or told you you were being silly, imagining it, making things up from little evidence. But you were not. I am getting, strongly, that you were right. I have no idea why this is coming up though. For most of you, I'm getting this is not something traumatic to you, at least not really, but if it is, I hope you get your justice, however much you need. You should not doubt your childhood self is the message for you.

Validation from wherever I'm hearing this messages(😭my intuition?) is here. I think you're revisiting that time in your life or just remembering how you felt then and realizing you're not so different from that version of you. This is going to give you a lot of validation and true confidence. When others ignored or doubted you, you held on to yourself. Good for you. But I have to say that you were most likely around 12-13 at most, for most of you, which makes your self-respect even more impressive. There were so many attempts, councious or not, at killing the trust you had for yourself. Maybe the years after tried to do it again but wow, even though you almost slipped, everything arrayed against you just fell away, on its own. And now you have come back to that place of an untainted perspective.

This message was for you if you had longer, brown hair then, or very light blonde, and/or if your or some other person's name there was Anne, Annie, Annika, Anya, or any variation of it. Even if not, that still might've been for you, but that was just confirmation for a collective.

(Added note: when I wrote "might've been" just now, I wrote "might've bern" at first. Bern, Switzerland might be of relevance to this, or the whole country of Switzerland, actually. Adding that to signs😄)

"Annika, you are spot on"

I'm going to feel embarrassed if none of you is named Annika or a similar name but that's what I got😶 maybe that name means something to you, even if you do not have a real-life person in your life who is called that.

Another name I'm getting is Liz, or Lizzie, Eliza... you get it, any variation of it. If someone here is named Elizabeth, then they most likely get addressed by a shortened version of the name, or were then.

I'm getting Annika and Anne names much more strongly though.

So going back to the message, anyone who invalidated you, made you feel like you were insane, they do not know what they are talking about, and never did. At least regarding your perspectives and your inner world in general. It is hard when family makes you feel unseen, alone and abandoned, but give yourself a break for a moment and realize, that you have been the one with the clear vision all this time, you are the one who has the best awareness.

I feel something like irony and calm reminiscing. You have grown so much, only to become the same person you were that time. And I still call that growth.

(Another note: when I wrote "same" I wrote "sane" at first. You ARE sane, have always been.)

I am truly sorry for those people who made you feel insane because they are going to be really put through an experience. Not that you care for it much. I think you guys are good at having a "birds eye view", a high perspective that allows you to see the whole picture clearly. You are not petty at all, and prefer peace and calm as your vengeance against those who wronged you. Those people are about to have the rug pulled from under their feet. They are going to feel like the earth has bern opened beneath them. A blessing that they have never gotten_ the truth revealed. You have known it all along.

I think you guys forgot about that situation, and now, going back to it emotionally or mentally, or even psychologically, might feel like you're yourself again, whole.

If you guys have not hit a milestone yet, then I'm seeing success for you. At the very least, I'm seeing mental assuredness and spritual security in you, calm(on the outside) passion and contentment in general, a lot of independence too. True freedom from unecccesary imposter syndrome is also there. A momentum is going to be picking up in your life, like a ball rolling and getting bigger, picking up more as it goes. Independence, validation, balance, peace💕 and you're looking good I see, you're feeling fresh, healthy and true, natural.

Do not go back to anyone who has wronged you, even if they want to apologize and want your forgiveness. It's rude not to do so for some people, but your momentum cannot bear to be affected by that familiar, harmful energy. Try to be as distant with them as possible, and try to spend as little energy on them as possible, preferrably, none at all.

I'm seeing travel for you guys and I want to congratulate you. Do not know why, but maybe the fact that you have arrived in this flow is enough.

👑 here, for you.

Please comment or reblog to let me know if and how this resonated. I'd love to know more.

[strawberrystepmom]

re: cancer men - the creators and dreamweavers of the zodiac:

okay hi hello. i was reading and am perpetually reading anthony bourdain's books and felt inspired to kind of break down at least astrologically the mystique of the cancer man. this is not a defensive essay but rather a piece that can offer a (hopeful) shift in perspective with regards to how we view these people in our world and our lives.

so the cancer man often has mommy issues. i hope you heard me sigh very loudly saying that because i hate using catch all terms for things that require nuance but it's a concept we are all familiar with based on term alone so it's what i'll use. my rebuttal to this is also - who doesn't? in some capacity? then i remember i'm a water sign and my mom was a cancer and i need to keep this moving on...

mommy issues aren't an indictment, they're most often just an indicator of areas where a person needs more support. perhaps they're a little scatter brained and need a partner who wants to help them get organized. perhaps they're a little emotional and have been told such their entire life to the point they're no longer wanting to be emotional so they need a partner who is willing to be a bending ear.

these areas of emotional need can lead to cancer men specifically tending to really need a lot of strong reinforcement from the women in their lives if they're unwilling to look inward and re-mother themselves so to speak. they can lean on their partners a lot because it's hard to talk about the deep feelings they have. when you agree to love a partner who shows you they need this support, you guys are gonna get mad at me for saying it, but it needs to be provided in a healthy and functional way. if you cannot provide that support do not take up with a man who already has inherent emotional distress just bc he dared to be born under a water sun.

that being said - i implore you, cancer man who may be reading this, to become your gentle inner voice. to reassure yourself that you're doing a good job and that you haven't done wrong. a cancer's fears can seem almost childlike to the uninitiated (do i know what i'm doing? is this going to last forever? what if they change their mind? what if? why? who? when?) but my rebuttal to that is also - all of our own inner monologues are our child selves or someone who hurt our child self. reserve judgement about the maturity of other's emotional processes.

cancers (all genders/identities) instinctively use their protective shell to get them through life. they are symbolized by the crab after all, so they sometimes assume costumes both literal and metaphorical.

in men these may be different personalities - you'll find the doer who shows up to your house with boxes and helping hands when you tell him you're moving, the quiet stoic lover who meets your needs in the most unassuming of ways, the man who is using macho as a defense mechanism who peacocks around and uses emotions as a weapon and finally, the man who is using his own machismo as a charming safe haven for others with hands that only wish to caress and heal (my favorite).

i mean god, a lot of cancer men either lean into the super affable cute sweet guy in hoodies and jeans while absolutely blasting the most insane screamo music in those headphones or they are tattooed, love to look alt because it hides that their top artist for this year was mitski just to give you an idea of the physical identities they may assume.

cancer men crave intimacy. their deep desire for enduring love, family, a place to call home no matter how transient everything else in their lives may feel isn't incidental, it's their birthday candle blow and falling star wish every time they see one.

they just have a tendency to rebuild their shells if they have broken through and start to feel unsafe with someone. they can become combative. the "yeah and what about you?" starts at that point and things can start to break down if you aren't willing to look deeper and realize he's hurting and that's why he's lashing out. it isn't okay, it isn't right, but it's the way cancers (and tbh all water signs why else do we have terror reputations) behave when they are retreating.

cancer men are gifted at making their loved ones dreams come true because almost always, they're making theirs come true as well through the process. they're life builders. commit to him and don't question him and he will give you everything you could ever want if he's done his inner work and he's ready to do so. let him build you the fantasy. embrace a man that loves you so much he wants to give you a babylonian garden of your own.

that being said, it's not your responsibility as someone who loves him to get him to that point so proceed as you wish but be aware that if you give up, you won't get the opportunity to come back once he's all fixed. don't cross a cancer - they're twice as vengeful as a scorpio with a virgo's very, very long memory and you will live your entire life being reminded that you didn't love them when they needed to be loved the most regardless of how true it may or not be. cancers deal in facts and feelings both and oftentimes their feelings are where the facts come from and experiences may vary.

but anyway yeah

[jestersdlc]

Wildcard's cards part two! Featuring a partner, a friend and two neither ally nor friends!

@sir-qwillian-ferne and @the-peculiarity-of-anonymity

And rambling under cut mostly on the card meanings and lil things on the cards themselves :3

Pink does not look as good in grayscale.....sadge. Anywho, Ace of Spades or Ace by Wc!

Ace of spades is generally the highest card in a deck, it is the one card to trump all, therefore making it seen as 'equal' to a Wildcard and fitting with a king (queen) in Wc's 'eyes'. Ace of spades represent power, authority, dominace, it is also nicknamed as the death card and is seen as a bad omen! (again tied into balance of the other cards representing Wc and Icelandic and Pink is strong despite their softer appearance ey prefer to keep) additionally the Ace of Spades represents aroaces! which kinda works too (Pink is arospec-ace but still! And Wc is aroace)

Pink has eir hands over eir chest to represent how ey hold eir partners and those close to them dear and close to eir heart and how er heart is with those ey love

Ace of Clubs are generally the luckiest card in a deck! They represent new beginnings, prosperity, creativity and new ideas as well creating a healthy community with loved ones and change. Ace cards can hold the highest OR the lowest value in a deck (Wildcard usually uses them for the former meaning) Splendorpoet is an Ace to Wc but not specifically THEIR Ace like Pink (Pink and Splendorpoet's cards also play off each other as mirrors slightly this is also seen in their poses)

Splendorpoet's back is to the viewer because to Wildcard, Splendorpoet and them always will have each other's back in their friendship.

Queen of Spades! Commonly representing intelligence, especially an intelligent woman, someone logical and strategic in their thinking and communication, a symbol of power and authority. Additionally Wildcard often would refer to Icelandic as 'the king' before meeting her and swapping to the card title Queen of Spades (or Queenie) (And we are ignoring the slang association with the card title....I had not been aware of it and it is irrelevant anyways.)

Icelandic is holding one hand over her heart and the other out with the spade as a visual show of how her and Wildcard both hold Pink close to their hearts in different ways and mutually respect each other as eir partners :3

King of Hearts commonly representing love, empathy, emotional maturity, generosity, honesty, protection and a safe harbor. Fitting for Flirtatious, even if Wildcard and it aren't FRIENDS, Wildcard can see how they tend to care openly and deeply for those around it and respects that about them. (We are ignoring one of the titles this card is denoted with as it is irrelevant to Flirtatious and Wildcard's interpretation of them.)

This is also shown in their body language! An open heart, open to sharing their affections and love and attention to those they care for. (And also because Wildcard has heard PLENTY of it talking about their partners at girls nights /silly)

[optimusprick]

First off, I love your art. It makes me all happy and giddy inside. But I must ask:

How do Orion's arms move? I mean the way you draw him, he's got this box like figure with little room for shoulders (unless I've just not seen his figure well enough). In theory if he tries to lift his arms past a certain point, won't his torso get in the way?

Sorry I'm just curious. Totally cool if it's just a stylistic thing too. I love them your honor I just like to know insignificant details.

ty for asking! i’ll go over some of his design choices really quickly:

Orian’s Design Explained

Orian’s frame was built for one purpose: desk work. His chest plate, shaped like a capelet, limits his arm movement so much that he can’t even lift his arms above his head. Why? Because as a clerk, all he needed was to reach forward to his computer. His design was all about efficiency, nothing more.

His round blue shoulder pads act as privacy shields, like cubicle walls. They keep him focused, block distractions, and discourage conversation. His smaller frame also fits perfectly into tight, government-regulated workspaces and uses less energon—cheaper to make and maintain.

He has a sword and shield built into his body, but they’re mainly decorative, more to warn someone from trying to fight him.

Orian’s design reminds him of his limits. Back in the archives, he’d stare at the stars and try to reach for them, only to be stopped by his own frame. He was literally built to be practical and grounded—never a leader, never a dreamer. No matter how much his mind wandered, his body kept him in his place.

When he becomes one of Iacon’s new leader, his design sparks lots of conversation. Some think his bulky chest plate is armor to protect him from attacks. Others assume it’s just professional decor. But the scribes who used to work with him know the truth: his frame is a relic of the caste system, a reminder of the constraints he broke free from.

Orian could change his frame—make himself sleeker or more powerful—but he refuses. To him, that chest plate is now a symbol. It shows that he’s not hiding his past and that his leadership isn’t built on violence. It represents his peaceful cause and his openness. Instead of lifting his hands to prove himself, he chooses to carry himself with words and earn trust through his actions.

Orian’s frame isn’t just about his job—it’s about his journey. It tells the story of where he came from, what he overcame, and the kind leader he’s chosen to be.

i hope this helps with your curiosity:)

[somnimagus]

My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!

[id in alt!]

[tackykachowch]

How it feels to not like timebomb after s2

[thimbleb3rries]

This show gives me so much to think about omggggg

Kuro Neko....... 😃cat walker.....

I drew him with his hair loose for two of the doodles because it gave me trouble when it was tied back shhhhh

Also??? The weird little stray pieces of hair that just kinda float around where his hair parts??? I had to simplify them, I couldn't figure them out 😭

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal

[Soothing Restful Song]

[You hear a bell. Chiming, tolling, calling your name.]

[saltpepperbeard]

y’all i’m in both david and mark motherbaugh’s walls for this one.

i was going through bits of footage for gifs as i do, and realized that the little note progression in the alma+stede scene sounded very familiar. sure enough...

it’s the same little progression as the pre-kiss confession, just in another key. it’s the lead-in to the love theme.

something something the handling of stede’s heart in both scenes. something something love but in different ways, hence the same song but in different keys. something something love towards stede finally progressing to the intended point.

...tldr, this show is insane for its symbolism and motifs and it’s wild that we keep discovering things over a year after the first season dropped.

[markanddebbie-protectionprogram]

There's always something so symbolic about framed pictures when they're broken.

The fact that Eve didn't fix the cracks says so much - look at how there's a portion that only includes the heads of the mom and dad.

Now look at the bottom half, how she's excluded from the both of them on both sides.

The cracks are likely to represent the rift in their relationship, Eve already knows this but when she didn't fix it it solidified that she accepts this and knows that the rift will stay for a long time.

When she changed the photo to what she envisioned her family would look like, there were no more cracks.

Found family always hits right but found family you barely knew about but STILL consider your family even when they're gone has now kicked me in angst-ville. Excuse me while I go cry a river.

[mc-critical]

1.06 / 2.09 (33)

[delicioustarong]

GUYS IM GOING CRAZY!! THE SITE IT UP NOW AND I IMMEDIATELY WENT BATSHIT CRAZY TRYING TO SOLVE MYSTERIES AND SHIT.

Typed in Conspiracy and watch the whole video when I suddenly realized that in the top left corner of the website you'll see words that appear whenever there's a flash of lighting.

Spent 15 mins trying to screenshot it and when I did I immediately typed it in the computer AND GUESS WHAT?!?

An image of baby bill with two triangle silhouettes (one with a top hat, his father?) holding him. They're all static-y and shit. The creepiest part is that you'll hear a distorted "Why did you do it?" Keep repeating itself... Over and over

ALSO HAHAH a little fun Easter egg, if you type in "LALALA" this will appear

THIS GOT ME WHEEZING AHHAHAHAHA THE FACT THAT DIPPER (as implied by the note left by Ford) BROKE IN PROBABLY TYPED THIS AND SAW THIS MESSAGE IS KILLING MEEEEEE. bye I'm drawing this ASAP.

(idk if anyone saw this already and made the connection?? If they did then oh well-- I had fun figuring out all of this by myself so AYEE 🤙)

[red-moon-at-night]

An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives. 

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing. 

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization  compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater. 

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone. 

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society. 

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier. 

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention. 

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right. 

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.