#i love Minneapolis so much
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I love Minneapolis.
It was ranked the happiest city in the US. I am very happy here.
Everything I need is a walk, bus or a bike ride away. All the lakes/waterways are public and most of them are clean enough to swim in. Minneapolis (and also st. Paul) are always ranked in the top 3 park systems in the country every year.
And it's so cheap compared to other places. You can get good apartments for under 1000.
I could go on and on.
#i love Minneapolis so much#people care very much here#and its very friendly to lgbt (to an extent but u know nowhere is perfect)#laws are in place to protect the people#ie tenet rights labor rights lgbt rights
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btw I know there's probably already propaganda out there about this, but I wanna say my 2 cents on Tim Walz and the George Floyd protests.
He really listened to the protesters and gave them time and space to exercise their rights.
When not only riots were breaking out, but also non-local fascist extremists showing up looking to add fuel to the proverbial fire, THAT'S when the National Guard was there to stop the bullshit.
I've seen people on the right criticise him for not sending in the national guard immediately (i.e. against local protesters). Now there will be psyop propaganda against him, targeting us too.
Oh, and he also pushed for police reform as well, so this isn't just grandstanding either. As a local, I think he's handled it perfectly.
and here's an article I found if you don't want to take my word for it:
#tim walz#us politics#politics#kamala harris#police reform#george floyd#Minnesota#Minneapolis#criminal justice#i hope this post doesn't explode too much because I generally don't like talking about politics#but I fucking love Tim Walz#v excited about this#I will defend him so hard#he's a good guy you know#he's strong and reasonable and no nonsense
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goddamn I move tomorrow so tonight is the last night I will Ever get drunk on the floor of this apartment’s bathroom, a formative part of my evening routine for about the last year and a half. Not gonna say it’s all good memories, because goddamn I’ve had some dogshit nights here, but certainly very formative ones.
#luke.txt#I can tell I’m gonna be bawling about this in an hour#this move is against my will and away from my beautiful city Minneapolis which I love so much#and because of that. because it’s not a move in good circumstances that will improve my life#I am not really gonna make any attempt to get sober when I move. sorry :(#I predict that in 5 years I’ll have the same weird nostalgia for this bathroom#as I have now for the adolescent mental hospital I spent most of 2018-19#except this time I have. like. pictures#I’m gonna miss having a window in the bathroom though. natural light.#addictionposting#I guess
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I saw Noah Reid tonight, and it was great! He talked a lot about how he loves Minneapolis. I ALSO love Minneapolis and love when people appreciate it, so all in all it was a delight ☺️
Also, I talked to someone in a Franklin the Turtle shirt. Amazing. Iconic. I’m obsessed
#I loved Franklin so much as a kid#I have weirdly been a Noah Reid fan nearly my whole life lol#franklin the turtle#noah reid#minneapolis#mpls
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Why. Why are all the trans refuge states SO DAMN COLD???
I'm glad I'm not actively on or imminently planning any Gender stuff because I literally think I wouldn't survive in Minnesota or Michigan. The sun would be gone too long and I'd waste away like a regency waif who can't afford to be sent to the seaside. I'd go into hibernation one day and wouldn't wake up.
Pros of Tennessee: mild and agreeable climate, planet's highest native salamander diversity
Cons of Tennessee: 😬
#California costs money to breathe and the air isn't even good#so it doesn't count#im thinking about what it would take to make me cut and run#and. i know Minneapolis is lovely#but#i honestly don't think id make it#im being fully serious i would not survive the winter up there#its not that much further north!!#i visit there a few times a year!!!#but alas i am a desert adapted species at heart
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4248 days; 11 years, 7 months, 18 days.
11 years of hell
Pure and utter hell
4,248 days of hell
without love
11 years of abusive
11 years of torment and pain
the abuse the physiologic warfare
Your voice is all I'm holding to for hope
You gave me a iron will to carry through this hell no matter what no matter who comes at me. All everyone has ever done is abuse me and beat me down and literally beat me to the point of black and blue and just pour salt in the surgical wounds I have.
11 years of nothing but abuse and being controlled being told what to wear, what to eat how to dress what makeup to wear, what shoes to wear how I need to walk what music to listen too so much control I can't even take a piss without someone saying how I'm doing it wrong.. okay maybe not but seriously though its been so control all I want is to hear voice at the end of my days.
I want peace I want home
I want you!
Fuck I need you!
God knows how much I actually need you to set me free
Love will set me free
the love I have for you will set me free
I can have no one else but you and if that makes me lonely for the rest of my life and so be it.
I guess I'll be missing my never born kids than that I dream about I had a dream of my sons and daughter already and heard her laugh and I've seen my son's eyes and heard his voice too
If it stays and dream and they are safer with God in the other world than so be it.
at least 11 years of pain and abuse on my end will be in vain and it won't affect them in the long run of life
I will forever be longing for them and missing them but that's okay
I have to live with that.
Hearing your voice though was the highlight of my life if that I meant heard once and only 11 years ago and will never hear it again at least I have an out of body experience with such a voice that rocked my world no man will ever come close and I will carry that experience with me for the rest of my soul given years in this universe. At least I know no one can take that away from me no matter how much they think they have control of me and life. They will fail in the end anyways cause one way or another I will know you. I will hear your voice again I will see you again one way or another we will find each other you are my hope
you are my hope in human form
You are my other half and no one can touch that only God can and God already has.
I am yours and only yours
and you are free to be you and live your life the way you need too without my control. I gave you freedom the night I had to let you go.
the night your voice struck me I was frozen and you were already with a blonde woman so it's not like I had much of a choice I wanted to run after you but my legs were stuck in what felt like cement blocks and I watched you leave with her as she tried to kick you at you reached the top why would anyone want to hurt such a beautiful soul? Such a beautiful man? Please be safe out there! I need you I need you so badly.
You are the one I need
You are it for me
Your voice
11 years ago and it still remains locked in my soul
my feelings haven't changed after all these years.
#11 years#my feelings remain the same#his voice#lifetimefitness#i need a miracle#saint louis park#sunday night#2012#december#minneapolis#grey beanie#lost love#heartbreak#heartache#longing#unrequited love#i miss you#soulmates#soulmate#twin flame#true love#chakras#out of body experience#out of character.#out of hell#come back to me#i am not okay#husbands#i miss him so much#miss him
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Trump vs. BTS vs. Nacho Libre
#philadelphia#pennsylvania#las vegas#nevada#atlanta#georgia#minnesota#minneapolis#bts#bts army#bangtan#kpop#kpop idol#kpop edits#favorite movies#i love this movie#i love this movie so much#movie gifs#fav movies
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frankly it’s insane to me that i apparently just like, can’t leave the house by myself anymore
#as much as i love minneapolis the people fucking suck#it’d be nice to be able to grab a beer somewhere normal & not have to fend off every washed up loser in the joint#what’s a guy have to do to be left alone?#are headphones not enough?#my switch or a book not enough?#must everyone who leaves their house do so with the express intention of socializing#just bc you think i’m hot & want to get to know me doesn’t mean i reciprocate!!!#i realize this seems like a humblebrag but it’s not i’m genuinely very distressed#i have autism leave me alone!#…maybe i should start biting people
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Could I perhaps request some Tachycineta swallows?
I love your blog and saw that you were taking requests again :D
Swallows:
Thank you so much. Absolutely, yes, here are some swallows for you...
Tree Swallow (Tachycineta bicolor), peering from the entrance to a nest box, family Hirundinidae, order Passeriformes, found across most of North America
photograph by em_photography22
Tree Swallows (Tachycineta bicolor), singing together, family Hirundinidae, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
photograph by Andy Witchger
Violet-green Swallow (Tachycineta thalassina), family Hirundinidae, British Columbia, Canada
Photograph by Brad Vissia
Golden Swallow (Tachycineta euchrysea), family Hirundinidae, Costa Rica
photograph by Luis Cesar Tejo
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The Worst
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Blk reader
Genre: angst and nothing but angst. Smut is just a bonus.
Summary: You left the BAU 4 years ago in pursuit of a new career. You and Spencer made the long-distance work until you couldn’t. Two months after the breakup, Spencer and you meet up for closure.
Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (f), fingering
Notes: it's been so long since I've written smut, so I'm kinda rusty. Low key I had Don't Smile by Sabrina carpenter in mu head now. I hope you guys enjoy!
Two days ago, everything was perfect. You had returned to D.C. to visit your old friends and colleagues at the BAU, and of course, to see your boyfriend, Spencer Reid. It had been two years since you left the BAU to study music theory in the Twin Cities, and now you were about to start teaching in Minneapolis. While you missed Spencer dearly, and he missed you, too, the long-distance visits hadn’t been enough. But this time felt different.
Spencer surprised you with a romantic dinner, and just when you thought it couldn't get better, he proposed. You had dreamed of this moment for so long, knowing Spencer’s cautious nature meant the timing had to be just right. But when he finally asked, your answer was easy. Yes. Of course, yes.
Now, curled up in his arms on the couch, you feel the warmth of his presence, the joy of being together again. But tonight, as Spencer begins to talk about the future, you realize that your dreams may not be as aligned as you once thought.
“You’re not serious right now,” you say, disbelief threading through your voice.
“I am,” Spencer replies, his gaze steady on yours. He gently brushes his fingers across your knuckles.
“Spencer, I can’t just drop everything and move back to D.C. I just started teaching in Minnesota.”
“I know, but if we act now, we can get this amazing house—”
“Wait, what? You’ve already been looking at houses?”
He averts his eyes for a moment, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. “I found one. It’s perfect for us. There’s even a wishing well in the backyard. We’re getting married, Y/N. Why not plan for the future?”
“We got engaged two days ago! Spencer, we have time. We don’t need to rush.”
“I know,” he says, his voice softening, “but I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Besides, we don’t know what could happen.”
You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I get it. I used to work at the BAU, I understand. But I don’t want to give up teaching. This is something I love.”
“You don’t have to give it up,” Spencer says, leaning forward, trying to bridge the gap between you. “You could teach in D.C. or even Virginia.”
You shake your head, already knowing where this conversation is headed. “Spencer, I’m not leaving Minnesota. These kids need me. Music gives them a creative outlet. It helps keep them out of trouble.”
He pauses, his voice quiet now. “What about me?”
Your heart tightens at his words. “What about you? We text every day, we talk on the phone, and we video chat when we can.”
“It’s not the same,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing the back of your hand.
“If you miss me so much, you could come to Minnesota,” you offer with a hopeful smile.
“And do what? Teach?” He lets out a small laugh, but there’s no real humor in it.
“You’d make a hot professor,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t land.
“I don’t want to teach, Y/N. That’s your dream, not mine.”
“And that’s exactly why I’m staying in Minnesota,” you reply. “This makes me happy. I’m finally doing something meaningful, something that fulfills me.”
“You were doing meaningful work before,” Spencer argues, his voice rising slightly. “You saved lives. You were a great profiler.”
“And how many lives did we lose? How many victims never got justice?” Your voice wavers. “I wasn’t happy in that life, Spencer. Not like I am now.”
He exhales, his frustration evident. “So, how do we make this work? You in Minnesota, me in D.C.?”
“I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “I thought we’d figure it out.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t just ‘figure it out.’ What, do you think we can hop on planes every weekend, or after I finish a case?”
“Well, if you didn’t have this all figured out, why did you propose?” you ask, feeling the tension rise between you.
“Because I did have it figured out!” he snaps, his voice sharp. “You’re the one who changed the plan, refusing to come with me.”
“I didn’t refuse,” you say, your tone turning defensive. “I just can’t drop my life because you want me to live yours.”
“We’re in a relationship, Y/N! You’re not single anymore. I’ve always supported you. Why can’t you do the same for me?”
“I’m not saying you haven’t supported me. But why should I give up my dream for yours?”
“Because I don’t think you’d be happy long-term!” Spencer exclaims. “You never mentioned any of this before. Then suddenly, you tell me you’re teaching in Minnesota, out of nowhere.”
You stare at him, the weight of his words settling in. “You don’t think I’d be happy?” he looks you in the eyes, his gaze starting into your soul.
“Not in the long run. No.”
“And who’s to say I’d be happy with you?” The words slip out before you can stop them.
Spencer’s face falls, his expression pained. “What do you mean?”
“You think I’d be happy moving to D.C., working at the BAU again, getting married, having kids? That’s your plan, Spencer. Not mine.”
“I thought that’s what you wanted,” he says, his voice faltering. “We talked about this before we even started dating—marriage, kids, everything.”
“That was seven years ago. We’ve both changed. I’ve changed.” you pointed at yourself as you tell him the truth. He realized that too of course the distance away from him was going to change him.
His face hardens, hurt mixing with anger. “Then why did you say yes?”
“Because I love you, Spencer,” you say, your voice cracking. “And because I thought maybe, somehow, we could still make it work.” you cry as tears fall down your face.
“But how can we, if you’re across the country?” The silence that follows is thick, heavy. You both know the answer before it’s spoken.
“We can’t,” you whisper.
“So… that’s it? We break up?” His voice is hollow, as if he’s already accepted the outcome.
“I—I think we have to,” you say, tears stinging your eyes.
He nods slowly, his jaw tight. “Alright.” You reach for his hand, but he pulls it away gently.
“Spencer… I’m sorry.” you let out a sob trying to wipe your tears away.
“Me too.” he says getting up to go into his room and you stayed on the couch crying as you knew he was doing the same. Neither of you wanted this outcome but you also didn't want each other to be miserable.
The next morning, you woke up before Spencer. Quietly, you packed your things, your heart heavy with the weight of last night's conversation. You had booked an earlier flight back to Minnesota, hoping to slip out unnoticed, to avoid another painful confrontation.
As you approached the front door with your bag in hand, you paused, glancing toward the bedroom—the one you had shared with him so many times before. To your surprise, Spencer was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes red and swollen from a sleepless night.
"I thought you'd at least have the courage to say goodbye," he says, his voice low and rough. He looks just as broken as you feel, like neither of you have gotten any rest.
“Spencer…” you start, but the words don’t come. He doesn’t look at you, staring at the floor instead. Now he was angry seeing you sneaking into his room to leave the ring and some note.
“Just… leave the ring and go. Please.”
His words hit you harder than you expected, and you reach for the ring on your finger. Slowly, reluctantly, you pull it off, feeling the cool metal slide away from your skin. For a moment, you just stand there, staring at the symbol of the future you had once wanted so badly.
Tears blur your vision as you gently place the ring on the nightstand beside him. "I'm sorry," you whisper, knowing it’s not enough. Without another word, you turn and walk out the door, leaving behind the life you thought you would share.
That was the last time you saw Spencer. The breakup was rough on both of you. No matter how much time passed, reminders of him lingered in your life. A month later, a couple of boxes from Spencer arrived at your doorstep—your things from his apartment, meticulously packed and sent back to you. It was everything you had left there, down to the smallest items. The gesture felt like a final goodbye, a clear sign that he had moved on. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. You still had his things. A couple of his shirts, some books, and photos. They haunted you in the quiet moments when you were alone, a reminder of a future that would never be.
Your friend Cassie had advised you to collect his things and move on. “You need closure,” she told you, gently pushing you to take the steps toward healing. But you didn’t at first. You couldn’t. Then, without telling you, she set you up on a date.
His name was Scott. He was a high school English teacher, loved to read, worked out, and was just coming out of his own messy breakup. On your first date, you clicked in a way that surprised you. It felt easy with him, natural. The two of you saw each other a few times, and before long, it had been a month of dates, good conversation, and the start of something promising. But there was one problem.
Every time you went home, Spencer’s presence was still there. His shirts hanging in the closet, the photos of you two tucked in drawers, even old messages you hadn’t deleted. Sometimes you would sit in silence, imagining what his life was like now, wondering if he had moved on in the same way. You’d catch yourself thinking about texting Garcia to ask how he was, but you stopped yourself. Your former colleagues—your friends—were all still close to Spencer. You couldn’t bring yourself to reach out. Not after what happened. You figured it wasn’t your place anymore.
One evening, after a date with Scott, Cassie sat with you in your apartment, and you confessed the nagging feeling you couldn’t shake.
“I feel stuck,” you admitted, pushing Spencer’s shirt aside in your closet. “Every time I try to move on, it’s like he’s still here.”
Cassie nodded, understanding. “You need closure. Real closure. Get rid of his things, talk to him if you need to, but you can’t keep holding onto pieces of him if you want to move forward.”
Her words sunk in, and you realized she was right. So, you broke things off with Scott—kindly, letting him know it wasn’t fair to either of you while you were still processing your past. Then you sent Spencer a text, asking if the two of you could meet to talk. You weren’t sure if he would reply, or if he’d even want to. But you needed to try.
Spencer had tried to move on after the breakup. On the outside, he seemed fine—throwing himself into work, keeping busy with cases. But back at home, it hit him harder. The apartment was eerily quiet without you there. Your photos, the calendar you’d hung with important dates for the both of you, the clothes you left behind—all were reminders of a life that wasn’t his anymore.
What broke him the most was the engagement ring. He found it on the floor after you left, a painful symbol of what could have been. After a sleepless night, he called Derek to vent about it.
“You have to start moving on, man,” Derek had said over the phone. “It doesn’t have to be today, but the sooner you let go, the better you’ll feel.”
So, with Derek, J.J., and Garcia’s help, Spencer gathered all your belongings, packed them into boxes, and sent them to you. It felt like closure at the time, like he was making a step toward healing. He thought he was done with it. Done with you.
Until your text came.
At first, he didn’t recognize the number. It was a message from someone he thought he had put behind him, someone he wasn’t prepared to hear from again. The message explained that it was you, asking if you could meet up to talk.
Spencer stared at his phone for a long time. He felt his heart tighten in his chest, fear rising up. He didn’t want to see you. Getting rid of your things was one thing, but seeing your face—he couldn’t handle that. Not now, not after the progress he had made. So, he never replied.
---
Time has a strange way of healing, but also of leaving scars. Neither of you contacted the other again. A month after you sent that text, you realized you didn’t need to hear his voice to get the closure you sought. You packed up his things and put them away then, you tried to forget.
But life, as it often does, has its own plans.
Two months later, Spencer found himself heading to Minnesota. He never imagined he’d end up there, of all places, in the middle of February. You had moved on in your own way, and by then, you had nearly forgotten that you once asked to meet up. You had put the past behind you—or so you thought. But some things refuse to stay buried.
“Are you sure about this, Reid?” Morgan asks, raising an eyebrow as he leans against Spencer’s hotel door. They had just finished a case today and the team was leaving Spencer had decided to stay another day. No one needed to question why he needed to as they knew the answer.
“Yes, I think it’s time,” Spencer replied, though his voice wavered ever so slightly.
J.J. leaned forward, her face full of concern. “Do you think it’s wise to meet with her after she contacted you two months ago?”
Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No, probably not. But she said she wanted to talk, and I should at least hear her out.” J.J. exchanged a glance with Morgan, but neither of them said anything. They both knew Spencer was the kind of person who needed closure, even if it hurt. Pulling out his phone, Spencer dialed Garcia’s number. It rang twice before her familiar voice came through the line.
“You have reached your tech goddess. How may I help you today?” Garcia chirped, her usual brightness evident even over the phone.
“Garcia, can you check if Y/N has a new address?”
There was a pause. “Wait… you want to see Y/N? Are you okay, Reid?” Her voice softened with concern.
“Yes, I’m okay to meet with her,” Spencer replied, but the hesitation lingered beneath his words.
Garcia was quiet for a beat before she said, “Are you sure *she’s* okay to meet with you? I know she asked to meet you, but that was two months ago, and—”
“I know,” Spencer interrupted gently. “I’ll call her before I show up.”
Garcia let out a long breath. “Alright, if you say so. I don’t know if this is a good idea, but her address is still the same. I’ve sent it to you. Good luck, and please, be safe, okay?”
“Thank you, Garcia,” he said, appreciating her concern.
“This is a bad idea, right?” Morgan questioned as he watched Spencer walk out the door going off to see you. A bad feeling coming onto him.
“Oh, it is,” J.J. agreed, crossing her arms.
It was an ordinary Thursday night, or at least it started that way. You sat on your couch, a bottle of wine nearby, your laptop on your lap, grading papers turned in by your students. The TV was on in the background, playing a movie you’d seen a hundred times. The cold Minnesota winter had gifted you a snow day, so you decided to get some work done now and relax later.
That plan was interrupted when a knock echoed through your apartment. Setting your laptop aside, you paused the movie and stood, walking to the door. When you opened it, you blinked in confusion.
There stood Spencer Reid, bundled up against the cold, his breath visible in the frosty air.
"Reid, what are you doing here?" Your voice was flat, surprise and confusion mixing with a slight edge.
“I came to see you,” Spencer said, shifting nervously on his feet. “I know it’s been a while, but I got your text and thought… why not?”
You stared at him, brow furrowed. “Reid, that was *two months ago*.”
“I know I’m late,” he said quickly, his eyes flicking to the ground before meeting yours again. “But I just finished a case, and I thought—”
“Thought what?” you interrupted, your tone sharper than you intended. “Look, I know I texted you first, but that was then.”
Spencer’s face tightened, a flash of frustration crossing his features. “Well, I wasn’t ready to see you *then*, that’s the issue. You want what you want when you want it.”
You folded your arms, eyebrows raised. “Who doesn’t?”
The tension hung between you for a moment before Spencer sighed. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight, Y/N. Please, can we just talk?”
You paused, considering. After a long breath, you relented. “Fine, you’ve got 30 minutes.”
“Give me 15,” he bargained, his voice quieter, almost pleading.
“You have 10 minutes," you replied, stepping aside and motioning for him to come in. "Starting now."
Spencer shifted nervously, hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, snow still clinging to his shoes. You stepped aside, allowing him to enter. He walked in slowly, glancing around as if expecting something to have changed, but your apartment was much the same as it had always been—warm, cluttered with books and papers, and smelling faintly of the lavender candle you always burned.
You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorway. “Alright, ten minutes. Start talking.”
Spencer hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I didn’t respond right away because… I wasn’t ready. After everything that happened, I had to figure out how to deal with it. Losing you—losing us—it messed me up more than I realized. I thought sending your things back would help me move on, but it didn’t. I needed time, and I’m sorry I didn’t answer you earlier.”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I get it, Spencer. But you don’t get to just show up here months later and expect me to drop everything. I’ve been working on moving on, too.”
“I know,” he said quickly, looking down at the floor. “I’m not here to mess that up. I just… I thought if we could talk, maybe we could get some closure. Properly this time.”
“Closure?” you repeated, a touch of bitterness in your voice. “And you think showing up unannounced is the way to do that?”
He winced, realizing how it must have looked. “I didn’t plan it well, I know. But I’ve thought about you every day since the breakup. I’ve wondered if we could’ve handled things differently, if we could’ve made it work.”
You stood there, feeling your heart race. Part of you had longed for this conversation, this chance to get clarity on what had happened. But now that it was here, all it did was stir up emotions you thought you had buried.
“You think about it now?” you asked, voice quieter. “You’re the one who packed up my things and sent them back like we were just some temporary fling. That hurt, Spencer. It felt like you had already moved on.”
Spencer’s face softened, regret written in his eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to feel that way. I thought it would help you… and me."
You shook your head, pacing a bit to release the tension building inside. “I’ve been trying to move forward, Reid. I was even seeing someone And you know what? I liked him. He’s a good guy, but I couldn’t fully be with him because I kept holding on… to us.”
Spencer looked at you, his expression tightening at the mention of Scott, but he quickly pushed it aside. “I’m not asking for anything other than to talk. I don’t expect us to get back together. I just didn’t want us to leave things the way we did.”
You stopped pacing and looked at him, really looked at him, noticing the weight he carried in his eyes. “So, what do you want from this conversation, Spencer? What do you need?”
"I just wanted to talk to you to see if we could I don’t know be friends again"
"Are you serious?" you said, your voice sharp with disbelief. "I wanted it to work so badly, Spencer. I uprooted my life to try and meet you halfway, but it was like you couldn’t see that."
Spencer’s expression tightened. "I didn’t feel like you were meeting me halfway. You were building a whole new life in Minnesota, and I felt like I was barely a part of it. You didn’t tell me about your teaching job until you had already accepted it."
"I didn’t think I needed to ask your permission to follow my dreams," you shot back, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I wanted to do something for me, something that gave me purpose."
"And I get that," he said, his tone softening, "but I was supposed to be part of your life too. I felt like you were pulling away, like every decision you made was just... you choosing a life without me in it."
You sighed, the weight of his words sinking in. "I wasn’t trying to choose a life without you, Spencer. I was trying to find a life where we could both be happy. But it felt like every time I chose something for me, it meant choosing against you."
Spencer rubbed his hands over his face, clearly torn. "I wanted you to be happy too. I just... I wanted to be part of that happiness. But I didn’t know how to balance your dreams with mine."
“I know. And that’s why it didn’t work.” You shook your head, the sadness creeping back in. “We both wanted to be happy, but we didn’t know how to make that happen together.”
“So now what?” Spencer asked, his voice heavy with uncertainty.
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “You came here for me. We talked it out. I’m done talking. I have your things. I can ship them out tomorrow.”
“You still have my things?” he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.
“I can’t forget you, Spencer. Unlike you did,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.
Spencer looked at you, his eyes pained. “That’s my girl! Still can pull the verbal punches!” he says sarcastically as he watches you disappear into the hallway.
“I’m not your girl anymore!” you snapped, feeling a surge of frustration. As you look through your closet for Spencer’s box.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Spencer said quickly, his tone apologetic as you came back into the room. Once you find it you look at your room one last time and then you see it. That Sanrio plush Cinnamonroll, it was the first birthday gift Spencer had given you. You loved the thing and still do.
“Here’s your things,” you said, handing him a box filled with his belongings.
He reached on top of the sealed box and grabbed the small cinnamon roll plush. “This was a birthday gift... You’re really giving this back?”
“Yeah,” you said, tears threatening to spill. “It’s the last reminder of you, Reid.”
“Y/N, I’m sorry. But whether you like it or not, we’ll always have a part of each other in our hearts,” Spencer said softly.
“I know,” you replied, trying to hold back your tears.
“And I’m never going to forget you,” Spencer added, his voice breaking.
“I know that,” you said, your own voice trembling.
“But I have to do what feels right,” Spencer said. “And so do you.”
“Yeah…” you agreed, wiping away a tear.
Without warning, Spencer stepped closer and kissed you gently. The kiss was full of unresolved feelings, the pain of the past, and the hope of what could have been. It was a goodbye you both needed, but it was also a reminder of what you once had.
As the kiss ended, you both pulled away, your eyes locked with his. The silence that followed was heavy, filled with the weight of everything unsaid and everything you both had shared.
Spencer took a deep breath, his face etched with sadness. “Goodbye, Y/N.”
“Goodbye, Spencer,” you whispered, watching as he walked out the door, taking a part of your heart with him.
Thirty minutes later, as the storm outside raged on, Spencer found himself knocking on your door again. The wind howled, and snow battered against the windows. His team had left an hour ago, and he’d been unable to reach his hotel due to the worsening weather. With nowhere else to go, he found himself back at your doorstep.
When you opened the door, Spencer’s heart sank at the sight of you still crying. His own emotions surged as he took in your tear-streaked face. Without a word, he pulled you into a fervent kiss. It was a kiss filled with all the words you both hadn’t said, all the pain you hadn’t fully expressed.
"I'm sorry-" kiss "I didn’t mean-to comeback I just- fuck" he tried to explain himself but he couldn’t stop your lips from meshing with his. This was messed up and you both knew you just didn't care. The kisses become more passionate as he pushes you against the door, grabbing your hips pinning you. Kissing down you neck as you let out a heavy sigh finally able to think.
"Spencer what are we- fuck what are we doing?" You ask as Spencer brings his hands under your and grabs hold of your breasts. It turned him on knowing you had no bra underneath this shirt the whole time.
Pulling up your shirt over your head he answers "what feels right" he says going back to kissing you this his tongue slides his way into your mouth. Your body wanted no need for this as you decided to speed things up Spencer had another approach. He quickly slipped his hand inside your panties, feeling how aroused you were.
"Fuck-" He groans the tip of his fingers running against your slick folds as you moan. "You're so wet for me" you couldn’t respond to him as he pushes his fingers inside you both groan. You move your legs wider and you need more as he pushes in deeper, your hips pushing against his hand. His fingers curl up inside you, as you start to whine. Pushing them in and out second by second driving you crazy and he didn't want anything but that.
"Fuck I forgot how good you are at this" you let out as Spencer says nothing getting onto his knees then pulling down your shorts along with your underwear. You stared at him as he completely removed his hand from your pussy. Before he could say anything he brought one of your legs onto his shoulders before completely devouring you. Groaning at the taste of you, he missed this he missed you. The sound of your moans were music to his ears as he licked in-between your folds. Your hands going into his hair hoping he'd push his tongue into you. That was all Spencer needed; he never forgot how to please you. He knew your ticks inside and out. His pants felt so strained against his cock bust first he wanted you to cum on his tongue for him and only him.
"Ohhh god Spencer!" You cry as he pushes his tongue into you feeling it tense up inside you making your thighs clench in response. His tongue moves vertically and then wiggles slightly pulling you into this back and forth of need and desire. The pleasure makes you feel dizzy, pulling on his hair tighter. Spencer lets out a groan sending a vibration through your very core. He licked your clit with long, slow strokes, his tongue pushing inside you as he ate you out aggressively. He used his hands to spread your lips apart, giving him better access to your pussy.
"Spence, ohhh yes! Yes!" Spencer loved how responsive you were, your hips bucking against his face as he continued to devour you. He felt your hands grip his hair tightly once again, pulling him closer. He could barely breathe, but he didn't care. He just wanted to make you come on his face.
"Spencer!" You screamed his name as Spencer felt your body tense, he gripped your hips tightly, holding you down as he continued to ravish your core. He felt your body convulse, your thighs quivering as you shattered against his mouth. He lapped up your juices, cleaning you up before helping you back onto your feet. He wasn't done and you weren’t either.
The two of you kiss passionately as you move to the bedroom as you both try to get Spencer’s clothes off. His vest, shoes, and belt laid in a trail towards your bedroom. When he finally gets into your bed you both couldn't help entangling your bodies together. Both of your moans and groans fill the room as you grind against one another. Spencer knew how worked up you get when it came to clothing. He wanted to watch you squirm under him, beg him to fuck you. Maybe beg him to take you back. But you were impatient tearing his shirt as buttons flew everywhere. You then changed your positions as you sat on top of him kissing his neck and down to his chest.
He looked at you surprised as then at your body. He pictured you riding him for the last time. Admiring how pretty you look and starting picturing you crying as you reached your climax coming apart for him. Even after all this time you were still so pretty to him. Like a goddess, his goddess. If this was the last time he couldn't ruin you like he wanted to, he wanted to make love to you once last time.
Flipping you back over onto the bed he gets up and starts removing his clothes. While he does this you can't help but wonder was this right? Whatever this was, it was messy and complicated and I thought this was one night. What's going to happen tomorrow?
"Spencer, are you sure you want this?" You ask as Spencer looks at you.
"Y/n I just had oral sex with you 5 minutes ago and you're asking me if I want this?" Your heart starts beating faster as he moves closer to the bed. That look he gave you as he slowly walked towards the bed.
"I-I know but-" "But what baby?" You don't say anything as the grabs onto your ankles and pull you towards the edge of the bed.
"Spencer tomorrow-" he cuts you off looking at you in the eyes, his body pressing against yours as his fingers trails down your thighs and back to your pussy. Touching your folds running circles on your clit before dipping it inside of you again. His fingers pumping in and out of your hole until he had enough.
"Fuck tomorrow I want to make love to you tonight" he says kissing your lips once more as you let him push his cock inside you. All doubts expelling in thoughts as all you could think about Spencer putting his dick inside you. Spencer groaned softly as he slowly entered you, he missed this he missed you. Pushing inch by inch gives you both time to readjust. Laying kisses down your neck, his hands cupping your boob's as he kisses those too. Sucking on your nipple as he thrusts inside you.
"So good you feel so good baby" he whispers in your ear, setting a steady pace. His hips snapping against yours as he fucks you.
"Ahh- I miss this so much" you moan out as Spencer doesn’t say anything going a little faster as he looks you "you're so fucking pretty" he groans as you run your fingers in his hair pulling him into another kiss. His hips moving faster feeling you clenching around him. Your legs wrapping around his and his hands starting to grip your hips. The bed creaking and the frame hitting the wall but you both didn't care.
Spencer buried his head into your neck as his thrusts had gone harder and faster. You were milking him clenching around him, you were close he knew it. He needed you to cum all over his cock.
"Spence- Spence please!" You cry as Spencer looks up at you in awe "shhh you don't have to beg baby, I'm here" he groans as he shifts his weight and it drove you crazy. Keeping with that angle he thrusts harder and harder making you do nothing but cry and scream his name.
"Look at me baby" you look Spencer in the eyes, something in the way that he looked sent you over the edge. You came around his cock and in a few more thrusts he couldn't take it anymore. You felt his cock twitching inside you.
"Spencer cum for me please" Spencer tried to pull out but you quickly pulled him back in. He let out a cry as he came inside you for the first time in a long time.
The two of you didn't stop there, you both couldn't keep your hands off each other. On your floor, the dresser, in the shower, and in your bed again. Both leaving marks and scratches behind on one another. You didn't know how tomorrow was gonna go but that was something you wanted to deal with in the morning.
The next morning, Spencer woke up first. The soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on your face as you slept beside him. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to feel happy. Being with you again, in this quiet, peaceful moment, felt right.
But then the weight of reality sank in.
Nothing had been solved. If anything, last night had made things even more complicated. The storm outside may have passed, but the one between you both still raged, unresolved. Spencer stared at the ceiling, the feeling of unease growing.
He gently slid out of bed, careful not to wake you. As he stood by the window, staring out at the snow-covered streets, Spencer’s mind raced. How could he go back to D.C. after this? Could he even walk away again, knowing what had just happened between you.
"Good morning, pretty boy," you say, looking up at Spencer with a sleepy smile, your hair a mess. He stares at you, noticing the faint hickies on your neck and the light bruising on your chest. You seemed happy about last night, and that only made the guilt gnaw at him even more.
This couldn't work. He knew that.
"Y/N, we need to talk," he says quietly, his voice laced with uncertainty.
You roll onto your side, propping your head up with your hand. "I know, Spencer. Look, I miss you like crazy. And I know we hooked up last night, but... give me a year or two, and I'll come back. I could teach in D.C., or Virginia—wherever. I just want to be with you."
"I can’t," Spencer interrupts, his voice tense.
Your face falls, confusion clouding your expression. "What? Why not?"
He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Y/N, last night was... great, but I think we shouldn't have done it."
It hits you like a punch to the gut. "No," you whisper, disbelief setting in. "You're not doing this to me."
Spencer looks at you, his face pained. "I think last night was just... spur of the moment. We were both emotionally vulnerable, caught up in everything. I think the only reason you're so quick to compromise is because of the sex."
"Are you—" You sit up, fury bubbling in your chest. "You're an asshole, Spencer. You know that?" You shake your head in disbelief.
"I want you to be happy," he says, his voice soft but firm.
You let out a bitter laugh. "That's rich."
"I'm serious. I don't want you to make a decision based on one night of meaningless sex."
"Is that how low you think of me? You think this was *meaningless* to me?" Your voice cracks as the anger mixes with hurt.
"No, it’s not that. But you love teaching here, and I don’t want you to come back for me and wake up one day realizing you’re not happy with your life. You deserve more than that." You couldn’t believe this, you couldn’t believe he was here saying this to your face. Here you thought you could make your relationship work again. Hold onto the love you once shared. Thinking that you could compromise yet here Spencer was breaking your heart all over again.
"Get out of my apartment," you snap, your voice cold, the betrayal clear.
"Y/N, at least understand—"
"No!" you cut him off, your eyes flashing with anger. "You said everything you needed to say last night. Now leave." He wanted to say something else, he wanted you to know that he loved you and that he was letting you go because he did. "Go!" You screamed, making him jump as you threw your pillow at him and missed.
Spencer stands there for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any chance to explain, but the message is clear. He quickly gathers his things, his heart heavy with sadness as he walks out of the room, the door closing behind him with a final, painful thud.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds smut
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Hi! Was curious if you knew what these birds were? I see the brown ones a lot but I've never seen one w/ so much red like this! Seen in Minneapolis, MN. I've been meaning to send in an ask for so long bc I love your blog so this seemed like a perfect opportunity lol
House finches! The one with more red is the male, and the primarily brown is the female :)
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Money for a train ticket: contributing to a lovely gay marriage
Helloooo my girlfriend and I plan to have a small courtroom ceremony just to get all the legal stuff taken care of when she comes to visit in me in Minneapolis. Problem however is flying as a trans woman particularly sucks so we're gonna have her take the train. Neither of us will have very much money at all until Friday but prices will skyrocket even further by then. We're asking for at least $150 to make our dream come true. If there's any way we could get some help it would.be greatly appreciated. I am located @
[email protected] paypal,
and
$Kikimeryl for cashapp.
Thank you.
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Hi babe, I'm far from good right now. I want to die. I'm ready to go. I have no money, no food, no home, no family. I have the nutcracker syndrome and doctors tell me all the time to commit suicide. I don't see any hope I don't feel any hope. I have no support no way out of this hell. My prayers don't work here. My life doesn't work here. I don't work being alive anymore. I want to die. I need to die. even doctors told me stop seeking medical care for myself. that my pain means nothing that I mean nothing I am nothing I don't matter. My life means nothing I don't want to suffer this anymore I'm ready to die. I'm ready to let go of life. I need let you go. I need to let all of this go cause material things have no value. I have no kids, no family no love so what's the point I might as well take a whole bottle of pills and die on the bathroom floor cause I'm ready. This is my goodbye letter my last night alive I need to die. I need to leave this place behind. You are the love of my life and I wanted to feel your voice one last time but I know now that is never going to happen. You and I are never going to be in this life. SO maybe in the next life or the next one after that doesn't matter I know I belong to you and my soul is consumed by you that I am yours no matter what lifetime no matter how many guys I kiss they will never be the one they can never measure up to you. You are the one I wanted kids with you are the one I wanted to marry on all levels you are the one that my heart and soul belong to you have ownership over me and I love that you do because it has protected me from having kids with the abusive ones the wrong ones you have saved me time and time again from dying but now I need to go. I need to die. to be at peace. I'm sorry I miss you in this lifetime but I will always be watching over you I will be waiting for you in the after life. because of you I have no fear of dying because of you I'm at peace with letting go and dying I will see you again. I will feel your voice within my heart I will feel your voice giving me tingles and goosebumps and giving me that out of body experience to know you are the one my soul was born for made for you created my soul I am your Eve and you are my Adam God made me for you. and I'm okay with death if that mean I get to live with you. I get to love you I get to protect you I get to adore you I get to cherish you I get to worship God more because of you. I get to live in the after life because of you. YOu save me time after time you get me everytime it's you in every lifetime I miss you and I get to die with peace because I was blessed with feeling your voice in my soul. I LOVE YOU BEYOND WORDS CAN SAY AND ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU HAVE KEPT ME SAFE. I'm ready to die. I'm ready to sleep I'm ready to rest because you were the best moment of my life and out of 13 years of hell you were my small piece of heaven. I bow to you to give you what is left of me I die tonight knowing you will be fine without. I love you.
#his voice#lifetimefitness#i need a miracle#saint louis park#sunday night#2012#december#grey beanie#minneapolis#9#miracle#I'm ready to move on#I love him#god i love him#i love him so much#look at him#hes so pretty#voice#out of body experience#outer space#original art#original poem#bedtime#original#either
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Trump vs. The Sound of Music
#phoenix#atla#detroit#philadelphia#milwaukee#las vegas#minneapolis#newark#albuquerque#virginia beach#new york city#reno#flint#madison#raleigh#love this movie#i love this movie#i love this movie so much#movie of all time
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OK FAGGOTS WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY GREEN DAY SHOWWWWW
y’all better buckle up cuz this is a long one.
saw them last night in minneapolis (where i’m from) at target field (baseball stadium). my friend and i had VIP PIT TICKETS which ostensibly meant we needed to get there early as shit and wait in line for hours (which we did)
doors opened at 5:30 and the show started at 7:30
my friend and i get there at 11am to wait in line and we were among the first fucking people there (with us was a girl dressed like 2004 billie and she got pulled on stage to meet him and sing know your enemy and i was SO JEALOUS). we also make friends with two other gays who help keep our spots in line and at the barricade 🥹
we wait in line for 5 hours and already my feet are starting to hurt but we press on and rush downstairs to the field and get to the fucking barricade!!!!!!!!
they had three (3) openers which were the linda lindas, rancid and the smashing pumpkins (!!!!!!!!) and my friend and i take turns sitting and squatting to help the immense back pain building up
FINALLY AFTER HOURS OF WAITING GREEN DAY COMES OUT AND THEY OPEN WITH AMERICAN DREAM
they played dookie, know your enemy, look ma no brains, one eyed bastard, dilemma, MINORITY and brain stew and then transitioned into american idiot
i was so close to billie and it was fucking insane. i don’t have words. he looked at me and i almost peed my pants
the encore was bobby sox before they closed with good riddance and billie said “encores are for arrogant people”
monsieur tré cool walked out and threw all of his used drumsticks from the show out into the crowd and i CAUGHT ONE but wrested briefly with someone for it before they let it go
we hugged all the nice people we met in line and slowly made our way out and back home and ordered Taco Bell at midnight (which let me fucking tell you. that shit fucks)
my feet and back have never hurt so much in my life and at one point i crawled on the floor to my bathroom to get some advil for the pain before collapsing into bed……..
and let me tell you………
i waited 10 months for this night and it did not disappoint at all. i love this band so fucking much. they keep changing my life for the better and i’ve never been more proud to love a band the way i love green day. this was truly one of the best nights of my life.
#green day#billie joe armstrong#tre cool#mike dirnt#saviors#trecoolsdick#saviors tour#saviors tour 2024#american idiot#dookie#the american dream is killing me#the smashing pumpkins#the linda lindas#rancid#Bay Area#american idiot 20th anniversary#dookie 30th anniversary#american idiot 20#dookie 30#faggot america#the saviors tour#i love you#DONT STEAL MY PHOTOS OR VIDEOS
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