#i lost my sim making abilities for a good 4 days

[trashedfruit]

theythem™

[khalixascorner]

Penance Pt 4

Day 8 of my 12 days of ChristStarkersmas!

Summary: Becoming Superior had muted Tony Stark's emotions and his ability to sense his soul mate. Getting bit by a spider had amplified Peter's. When they meet for the first time, Peter loses control, lost to the primal need to bond. After force bonding himself to Tony, Peter is distraught and offers himself up for whatever punishment Tony deems fit. Tony puts this to the test before deciding to keep his little spider, even if they had a rough start.

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Peter Parker, Omega Tony Stark, SIM Tony Stark, Dark Tony Stark, Scent Drunk Peter Parker, Soul Bond, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Forced Bonding, Making the Best of It, Honor Bondage, Verbal Bondage, lots of smut, First two chapters are darkest then it gets a bit fluffier, Sounding, top omega, face fucking, Lots of Sex, Aged-Up Peter Parker Age Difference

Read on AO3 here Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

They were both showered, fed, and dressed in fresh clothes when Tony decided it was time to address what had happened.

“So, you want to tell me what the fuck was going through your head when you assaulted me?” Tony asked. His previous burning rage had settled to mere embers but he didn’t intend to let the boy off easily.

“I- I can’t really explain it well, sir,” the kid said. “I was so excited and nervous to meet you. It was my first inspection and I’ve admired you for so long and then you came in and I just-”

“Just?” Tony asked as the kid hesitated.

“You smelled like home. Like a warm fire and honey vanilla tea,” the kid said softly. “I just remember smelling that and then the next thing I knew, I was on top of you, blood in my mouth, and, and…” The kid gestured helplessly at Tony, his face one of agony and guilt. “I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen. I never would have been in the room if I had realized- it’s never been a problem before. Even when other smells were strong or-or good, it’s never done that. I’ve never lost control like that.”

The boy was pacing now, pulling at his hair as if trying to ground himself. Tony watched even as something about his word choice caught in his mind.

“What’s never caused a problem before?” Tony asked. The boy froze and gave him a mournful look.

----------------------

Peter knew, when Stark asked that, that he would have to answer, but he also knew his dreams of one day standing side by side with the Superior as Spider-Man would be over when he did, if they weren’t already.

“I- I’m Spider-Man, sir,” Peter said, his voice soft but clear. “I’m enhanced, including my sense of smell. I’ve never lost control like that though, I swear. I’ve always been care-”

Stark held up a hand, cutting Peter off. The man paced, clearly thinking about something, and Peter fidgeted nervously as he waited.

“Overloads. You were passing out because I was overloading your senses,” Stark finally said, looking up at Peter as if to confirm. Peter just nodded, unsure of where the other man was going with it. “Why didn’t you safe word? If it was too much?”

“Because I can take it, and I deserved it,” Peter said, his eyes glued to the floor in shame. “If you weren’t enhanced, I could have killed you, and as it is, I- I raped you and force bonded you. That’s not ok. I’m supposed to be a hero but-”

His throat grew tight with shame again, and Peter swallowed hard as he tried to take steadying breaths. The omega just watched him, not moving to interfere. Peter knew it was wrong, that he didn’t deserve comfort, but he still wished the omega would take him in his arms again and let him bury himself in his scent.

“I’m so sorry, sir, I lost control and I hurt you and I fucked everything up,” Peter said as he found his voice again. He buried his face in his hands, and simply waited for the Superior’s judgment and wrath to return.

---------------

Tony watched the young alpha fall apart even as Jarvis was running numbers and pulling the kid’s profile up. Peter Parker, aged 20, impressive grades and the project that got him the internship looked related to his side gig as a vigilante. He was ardently pro the Superior’s reign, and overall not a bad ally to have, Tony mused. Not a bad pet alpha either, given how well he obeyed Tony and how malleable he would be at this age. Decision made, Tony stepped forward and gathered the alpha into his arms.

“While I can’t say that what you did was ok, I do forgive you,” Tony said, letting the smaller alpha nose at his scent gland. “It was out of your control.”

Peter sagged against him, sobbing his thanks, so Tony guided them over to the couch so that he could hold his pet more comfortably until he calmed down. The omega intentionally made his scent more soothing and ran his wrist over the alpha, scent marking him possessively.

As he waited, Tony thought back to the moment he met Peter, and he realized he had felt something too, but it had been so muted and then lost beneath the fury and disbelief at his situation. 

Peter was very likely his soul mate, and if Tony was right, then his young mate was likely affected more strongly by their meeting, whereas Tony was less affected due to the dampening effect extremis had on his body’s chemistry. It also explained how a heat had been suddenly triggered as well.

He smirked, as it would just bind Peter to him even tighter, especially with how strongly the little alpha had reacted to Tony’s displeasure.

Peter eventually cried himself out and Tony let him nap in his arms even as he started planning an extremis modification for his pet. He wanted to make sure he had every advantage while still being tightly bound to Tony so he was forced to strip away major components while modifying others to work with the spider DNA and not remove it.

“Sir?” Peter mumbled as his eyes fluttered open.

“Easy, spiderling,” Tony said, and Peter just sighed and leaned into him. “Your body is a bit worn out.”

“Mmm, thank you,” Peter mumbled even as he got more comfortable again.

“You’re welcome, pet,” Tony said. “Now, what do you like to eat? Italian? Thai?”

“Italian sounds good, sir,” Peter said sleepily. “You don’t have to feed me though. I- I can get out of your hair.” Peter yawned and Tony just chuckled.

“I don’t have to do anything,” Tony said mildly. “I’m choosing to because I’m also choosing to give you a chance. You bonded us and that’s not exactly an easy thing to break.”

“What?” Peter’s look of incredulousness was amusing.

“You didn’t realize it?” Tony asked, and Peter flushed.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” Peter said, his head down again. Tony would have to fix that because no mate of his could survive being so meek.

“Don’t be sorry, just be the mate I need you to be,” Tony said firmly. He had to fight down a chuckle at the determined look Peter gave him as he swore to be the best mate there ever was for Tony.

Truly, the kid made it too easy, dancing to Tony’s tune the whole way.

-------------

Dinner was nice, and Peter loved Tony’s company. However, there was one thing weighing heavily on his mind.

“Sir, can you-I mean is there-can you make sure I can never hurt you again?” Peter practically begged. “I don’t want to lose control again. Someone has to be able to stop me.”

Tony hummed and thought about it a minute before nodding.

“If you’re really sure about giving me what’s essentially a kill switch, I could modify the nanites and extremis to create a hack into your system that only I can access,” Tony said, though his voice was skeptical. “I’m not sure you’d want that though. Most people wouldn’t trust me with such things.”

Peter, however, didn’t hesitate.

“Please, sir, do what you need to, I just don’t want that to happen again.”

-----------------

If Tony were a better man, he’d feel bad taking advantage of such earnest eyes and the loyal heart that beat within the same body. Instead, he just felt victorious as he agreed to take a look at Peter’s genetics later that week. He couldn’t wait to get his pet modified how he wanted him.

[acecasinova]

2 and 3 for Lazarus, 9 and 10 for Hasr'Thal, 22 for one or more ocs of your choosing, 25 as well for one or more, 27 for Keev, 4 for Ardezo, 1 for Edelweiss, im very tempted to ask 14 for like any character just because I’m p sure a good few of the ocs are already dnd characters abdjjfkt, that’s all I’ll send for more maybe but I don’t wanna be annoying but wanted to ask for multiple ocs

Not annoying at all~! @obscurelyscandinavian almost always sends a bunch for a lot of different characters when I reblog these, too~ It's fun to talk about multiple blorbos~

Lazarus:

What genre (not counting the one they’re in) would your OC thrive in?

Let him into a grungy movie!!!! This isn't really a genre but Lazarus NEEDS to be a Lost Boys vampire he would thrive SO MUCH. On that note, urban fantasy or perhaps something that's more pure horror than Barovia (He would thrive as a monster, but like, for the WORST reasons bc he probably wouldn't have the morality chain he has now)

What genre would your OC do badly in but it would be hilarious or interesting to watch?

G-dddddd it would be so funny to throw him in a dating sim/slice of life, or more light hearted fantasy/slapstick because any type of focus on feelings would knock him WAY off balance and the "rules" of the genre would prevent him from physically injuring anyone else lmao

Hasr'Thal:

If your OC wrote fanfiction (or if they already do), what type? (fix fic, ship, crossovers, AUs, smut, etc.)

Hmmmmm... He's a VERY serious little guy, but going off of "drow like playing intense and days long strategy board games" type hc, I think if he wrote fic, it would be really heavy on the politics and really crunchy world building, with the characters as more of a vehicle for that. He'd be VERY intense about the lore but any fic would have to have like 800000 layers of separation from the rest of his life because NO ONE CAN KNOW HE DOES THAT.

How would your OC do in the last book/movie/tv show/game/etc. you read/watched/played?

LMFAO NOT HASR'THAL ON GAME CHANGERRRRRR,,, He'd 100% get way too worked up and competitive about it- absolutely the type to have Brennan level unhinged rants, for SURE (but he's 4'7 so it's far more comical)

Keev:

In a murder mystery, what role would your OC play? (e.g. detective, sidekick, wacky suspect, rival investigator who gets in thew way, red herring, true culprit)

....Can he be the victim~? (I kid, I kid- Bo don't beat me up,,,) He’s a smart cookie! Resourceful and quick minded, but he doesn't really enjoy the spotlight, so I think he would fall into a sidekick roll. Keev is good for tagging along and observing, then bouncing ideas off of others, but he doesn't have a lot of faith in his ability to read people, so I don't think he would want to be the main detective accusing anyone of anything.

Ardezo:

What media does your character enjoy? (For characters in settings that aren’t modern Earth, could be media from their home setting or what they’d like in a modern Earth AU)

He likes reading in his main setting (ayyyyy Faerun)- lots of books and scrolls and music (Not too much exciting stuff when you live in a dragon death temple, though there's lots of access and contact with the Underdark, so maybe drow parties lol). In a more modern earth type setting, he'd probably be REALLY into things like Lockpicking Lawyer, Fascinating Horror, REALLY love audio books so he can listen to books while he works on stuff (different poisons or toxins, maybe histories of how to use that). He'd be REALLY into practical special effects and honesty probably be fascinated by fursuiters. (He's not ashamed by any stretch, about his scales, but he's a little annoyed he can't display or hide them with easy like his siblings can, so sfx transformations would be his sh-t lol)

Edelweiss:

Was your OC influenced or inspired by any particular fictional character(s) when you made them?

Not particularly for Edelweiss! My main influence for him was making the cutest, most pastel and fluffy looking murderb-bard~ (who's going to suspect the airhead who dresses in pinks and gold of being a hag-blooded college of whispers bard~?)

Any:

What type of Avatar The Last Airbender-type bender (or non-bender) would your OC be? Any bending specialties?

So lesse.... Ironically for my dumb drow and vampire, I think Hasr'Thal and Lazarus are probably fire benders. They're both aggressive and driven (to different degrees) and while Hasr'Thal prefers to use his spells to assist the others in his party more than directly fight, his personal beliefs are rooted in passion and ruthless motion forward. Lazarus is more straightforward- he's a monk, he's fast, violent, and gives into his base instincts probably too much, and he is GARBAGE at defense.

Keev and Edelweiss (despite being a direct blood descendant of an ICE hag) are probably air benders- Keev tries SO hard to be a pacifist and focuses his spell choices on things like slow or haste, with abjuration thrown in, he hits hard WHEN he does, but he focuses far more on evasion. Edelweiss is a bit more bombastic, but he's been flighty and nomadic almost his whole life, blowing in and out of town on a whim. His spells (outside of his innate ice abilities) are mainly focused on causing fear, listening to things unseen, and spying. An argument could be made for waterbending but tbh that's a bit clichéd?

Who WOULD be a waterbender would be Fion (boy's probably a little TOO into bloodbending, honestly- he's dancing way too close to taboo spirit work right now and then there's all the murder...) Ardezo is also probably a waterbender- tempted to say he might be a non-bender, with his complex about ONLY being a draconic sorcerer when his siblings are half dragons, but he IS still very magic and his style is very "hang back, don't be seen, poison or strike when they're distracted" and he worships a dual God of death and undeath, so fluidity in all things are his motto

What would be your OC’s My Little Pony cutie mark?

I was never really into MLP so these might be funky.... Hasr'Thal has an ouroboros (He's mad about it but that's what you get when you want to end the cycle of violence with an act of incredible violence) Lazarus might not HAVE one yet, or it just recently showed up, as a red vine climbing into stars. Keev has maybe a pie, or a simple hearth (bc despite being an adventurer, all he wants is to be a baker). Edelweiss also probably had a late.... branding?? But it's a storm cloud ;3c Ardezo just wants to have stronger dragon blood so baaaaaad that his is probably just a shadow dragon silhouette lol

Any:

If your OC was a Dungeons and Dragons character, what would their class be? And/or: If they were playing D&D, what kind of character might they play? (these aren’t necessarily the same thing)

LMAO almost all of them are! BUT we've done games inside games or thought about it before so I can answer what class they would PLAY in addition to what they are lol

Keev- He's a shadow sorcerer (with a few levels in abjuration wizard) and also a forever DM when he ran it IC, but if he were to make an idealized version of himself, he would be a Paladin of Devotion - though he wouldn't draw his power from a God, just faith in other people

Lazarus- Shadow monk! We did a one-shot where I DM'd as Laz but he would make an assassin rogue (because he's a cool edgy boy~)

Hasr'Thal- Warlock, mainly pacted with an archfey but he kinda maybe made a second pact with the Void that desires the heat death of the universe oops??? If he made a character it would be an INSUFFERABLE wizard because he's definitely not bitter at ALL about not getting to finish schooling to become one himself.

Edelweiss is, as listed above, a College of Whispers bard, and would probably play the same in a game, though he might play a "nicer" college (and maybe not use a fey type race)

Ardezo- draconic sorcerer~ (shadow dragon lineage- NOT a black dragon thank you very much) He might play around with rolling up a rogue, but he'd multiclass bc I think he would miss the magic lol

[guessimate]

I believe this is the last post of this round, unless I move in the last [merchant] family later. That means the war is slowly coming to an end, and some men will return safely to their homes (read more on that in the asylum post)!

That’s interesting what I rolled for the Emeres – “me and my big mouth!” – a social demotion. I couldn’t really figure out, if it was supposed to be for just one sim or for all of them, but it wouldn’t really make sense to me, to have just one of them demoted. This is a fate worse than death for this family, in my view, as it has far-reaching consequences. Also, I don’t think merchants would just lose their class, they would probably move to another town instead, but for the sake of this challenge that’s what’s happening.

They had ~50.000$ in the bank and got ~70.000$ more for selling their rank 10 business, so they could have really bought their way up to the gentry class even..., but I stripped them of their riches, built a bakery for them and left them with just 100$, as that’s what yeomen are supposed to start with. They were really the force driving the economy in town, earning a total of 100.000$ in their business.

This ROS really destroyed my plans for this family. Now they’ll probably have to marry into the Underwood family who share interest in Cuisine and have a tavern. I also have no merchants in town anymore now, so either someone new has to move in, or everyone has to start a business yet again. This challenge has me doing a lot of mental gymnastics, I have to admit.

I have an idea as to why they could have offended someone. Perhaps it was due to their Asian style of clothing and the fact that they were not fully supporting the local economy, but were also selling some imported goods… And also, the Mons family – who brought lemons and pumpkins with them – just arrived this round, bringing new produce to town. They must have been looking down on the Emere family.

The family still has a lot of harvestables and other things they bought from townsfolk to resell, but that’s not happening now, so they might as well just use these items.

Their children are no longer allowed to go to school, as they are not merchant class anymore, but I don’t think the family should lose their ability to read.

I decided to let them take their pieces of furniture with them, especially that I was moving them to the – now vacant – old plantation of the Gardiner family. I feel like the money should at least go to someone instead of vanishing like this, but I’m not sure. Maybe the money was lost in some investment or in shipping exotic goods.

I decided they wouldn’t keep the rat anymore, as rats don’t really do anything and their bank would be drained, just by feeding the pet. I’m sorry, rat.

~*~

I built a bakery for the Emere family, close to the hill (it’s on 1x3 lot, because nothing else could really fit there). 

I got kids the kids’ oven so that they could contribute some muffins to the bakery, and I even got some [Victorian] food replacements. Bertha got to cooking level 3 (almost 4), and Adelbert has 2 cooking points. If they have to start baking on their own, they’ll have to change the menu a bit, as they cannot bake cakes yet.

They sell:

vanilla game berry pie + cake;

muffins [made by kids];

shortbread [santa cookies replacement] – to me it looks a bit like pizza, so it could also serve as one;

grilled cheese sandwiches;

toasts [replaced toaster pastries].

They got to levels 1 & 2 of the business almost immediately, during their first shifts. They’re both master sellers after all. The reviewer also came by and was impressed by the establishment on one of the following days.

Scarlet became pregnant on Friday, to give birth to their last child. They really need children, if they want to keep selling muffins.

~*~

Kids aged up on Saturday night and I allowed their father to take them to the bakery on Sunday, because I wanted them to learn the ropes, so as not to destroy the family business when they take over. It’s harder to manage this one, because it’s so small, but they still have so many customers.

I rolled Adelbert to be Knowledge and Bertha to be Romance, unfortunately – a female romance sim is really just a scandal waiting to happen. It’s probably due to the influence of Myron Farina who was a Romance sim – alas not a very happy one – by whom they were partly raised.

Adelbert for sure makes sense for a Knowledge sim, as he maxed out Logic as a child. Another child in town that maxed out a skill. Vanilla game childhood might just be a bit too long.

Adelbert managed to get a Bronze register badge, but not before they lost some customer stars. I think the business really needs to drop to a slightly lower rank, because they can’t serve so many customers in this small establishment. Bertha got the Restocking badge.

Adelbert ended up, being a Dramatic Snob who’s a Born Salesperson, and is Never Nude. He probably still remembers the days when they were merchant class and he doesn’t quite like being a yeoman, hence the Snob trait.

Bertha is a Dramatic, Excitable Kleptomaniac, and a Vehicle Enthusiast.

~*~

Myron died childless and quite unhappy on Sunday, leaving some inheritance money to this family, but also to his lover Euphrosina, and a friend, Drifa Imago [who he wanted to befriend last minute, perhaps because he wanted best for this family and she’s the new midwife].

Before he died, they had 3835$ and so they earned 3735$ this round, so that’s what the tax is calculated off.

1000$ – rent.

1121$ – tax.

= 2121$ (rounded down to 2100$) to the Royal Treasury (total in the Treasury so far = 116,900$).

374$ – tithe.

100$ – burial fee [for Myron Farina].

= 474$ (rounded down to 450$) to the Church (total earned by the Church so far = 19,400$).

So they were left with 1285$ before Myron died. I forgot to give money to the midwife, but she got enough from Myron anyway, so that should be enough to pay her off. The Emeres got 1995$ total from his will. After they got the insurance, they were left with 3280$. The money they got from Myron will only be used for improving the bakery, nothing else. If I can build even a tiny room with it, it will be a miracle.

Euphrosina got 495$ apparently, and she probably didn’t even feel it (she didn’t seem to be too unhappy about his death either). Drifa got 385$, which can actually serve as her dowry.

They dug up just a bone.

~*~

Scarlet gave birth at the very end of the round, at 9 a.m. on Monday morning… to another pair of twins – boy and girl… again! I’m sure her daughters – if they ever have kids – will have twins, too. I rolled 96, 27, and 64, so they survived the birth. She must be used to birthing twins by now.

They are 1 child above the limit for yeomen, but it is just within the limit of their initial class, and as these are twins, I will let them be. I called the twins Clement and Charlotte. According to memories, this time she gave birth to the girl first, and then to the son [it was the opposite earlier]. Charlotte is quite similar to her older siblings (she’s a blue-eyed redhead, I believe). Clement, however, is another story. He’s distinctly different from his other siblings – he’s a green-eyed blonde. He also has a darker skin of his mother’s.

[nat-20s]

for @jonmartinweek THE FINAL DAY prompt- Pining/Longing. This one takes place, well, you’ll see

~*~

A Study of Longing, Told in Six Parts

Part 1

Martin wonders if he’ll ever get to a point in his life where kindness doesn’t feel like a shock to the system. It’s already surprising enough when Tim and Sasha invite him for drinks in a genuine offer of friendship, but for that kindness to come from Jon? Martin has no idea what to do with being believed, let alone being protected.

And now here he is, blearily opening his eyes only to find himself staring at a mass of hair. As he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes, the shape resolves into the form of one Jonathan Sims. He had apparently fallen asleep with his head cushioned on his arms, against the cot Martin was currently occupying. It’s not an image that Martin can fully process at the moment, so instead he debates whether or not to wake Jon up or quietly get off the cot to let him get some much needed sleep. He decides on the former, both thinking that it would be hell on his back to keep sleeping in that position, and that he would like an explanation.

Hand hovering above Jon’s shoulder, but not fully touching, Martin oh so quietly calls out, “Jon?”

That’s all it takes for Jon’s head to rush up with a gasp, glasses askew, and with the texture of his sleeves pressed in red marks on his face. It is a horribly endearing look. “Hrn?”

Martin opens his mouths, closes it, and waits for Jon to get his bearings. Jon smooths down his (frankly ridiculous) sweater-vest, adjusts his glasses, and slips back on his professional demeanor. “My apologies, Martin, I, ah, must have fallen asleep.”

Glancing to the crappy little digital clock resting on a file box next to him, Martin rolls his eyes. Only Jon could be quite so stuffy at 4:32 in the morning. “No apologies needed. Though, um, was there? Something you needed or..?”

Jon shakes his head and stands up, dusting off imaginary grime. “No, no, nothing like that. I had just, er. I had heard you cry out and I- I wanted to make sure nothing was going on. It appears that it simply a nightmare,so I will be.. taking my leave. Now.”

He doesn’t know what part of himself replies, “Oh! You don’t have to go!,” but he replies it anyway. Jon does that little thoughtful frown at him, which forces him to continue, “I mean, if you wanted the cot. For sleeping. I’ll probably be awake for the rest of the night, so, you know, no skin off my back .”

“Ah. No, that’s quite alright, Martin. Try to get some more sleep, there’s still a long work day ahead.”

Jon doesn’t even wait for a response before turning on his heel and leaving. Martin sort of hates how much he wanted him to stay.

Part 2

Jon is laughing. Jon is terrified, all the damn time, and yet, somehow, he’s laughing. Honestly, he was starting to wonder if he was still capable of it. Martin is gesticulating wildly with his fork, animated in a way that Jon’s only ever seen when in they’re in the middle of a rather silly debate. He thinks this lunch’s topic was something like whether or not snakes were cute? He lost the thread of conversation about half an hour ago, honestly. Covering his mouth, he lets the giggles run through his whole body, shaking his shoulders and heating his core. He feels light, heady, like he’s reminiscing with an old friend and they’re both on the edge of having had too much to drink.

He only wishes he could trust this feeling. He wishes that he could trust Martin, that they were normal coworkers having a normal lunch, that the previous person in Jon’s position had gone into an easy retirement instead of being violently murdered. He wishes he hadn’t read that letter telling him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Martin, Martin, who took him to lunch and brought him tea and seemed so very warm in so very cold circumstances, was lying to him.

Jon stops laughing.

Part 3

Of course, the second his body hits the simultaneously stiff and weirdly lumpy motel mattress, his phone goes off. It may only be about 8 pm, but he’s tired, and he’s sore, and he’s had a persistent headcold for the past week for some unholy reason, the last thing he wants to do is talk. However, only about four people have the number to the burner cell, and they’re almost certainly have a purpose behind their call.

Closing his eyes and letting out a sigh that turns into more of a groan, he picks up on the 4th ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Jon! It’s Martin, I’m not sure if you have my number programmed in that phone, or if it even has caller ID if you do. Anyway, it’s been about a week since I’ve heard anything, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t, y’know, dead or arrested or anything.”

His previously tense and aching muscles all relax, without him consciously deciding to relax them, and a sleepy smile spreads across his face, because some time in the past year he’s become a parody of himself. Yes, maybe he should be more affronted by how much Martin’s tinny voice brings him comfort, but he’s had a rather terrible time of things since...since he began work in the archives, really, and he’s worn down enough that he can admit he misses his friend.

Huh. Friends. They are, aren’t they? Wonder when that happened. (He can guess, something involving a fake CV admission, but he doesn’t feel like it right now.) “Martin, I recognize your voice, no need to introduce yourself.”

“Right! Yes, uh, ‘course..of course you can. Right. Sooo...I take it you’re not dead, then.”

“Correct. I haven’t been arrested, either.” It’s only sort of a comforting lie, so Jon thinks it can be forgiven.

“Good. Great! Yeah, that’s...that’s good.”

The conversation could probably end there. Jon could probably tell Martin good night, and they’d hang up, and Jon could get the sleep he had been so desperately craving not moments ago. Somehow, he thinks that neither of them want that. Scrambling for something to talk about, Jon replies, “Hang on, isn’t it something like 2am over there?”

“It...might be.”

“Martin!”

“What! It’s not like you have a monopoly on bad sleeping habits. Besides, I was up anyway, and I just..”

“Just what?”

“I just missed your voice.”

Oh. Heat rushes to his cheeks, and tears start to prick at the corners of his eyes, and god. He had missed Martin’s voice too. “Really? I know you’ve had to listen to a fair number of tapes lately, thought you might be sick of it by now.”

“No. I mean, I am a bit tired of tapes, honestly, but even the ones that you recorded, that not really your voice, is it? I mean it is, but it doesn’t sound like you when you’re actually, um, you. I wanted..I wanted to hear you.”

Jon’s far too worn out to deal with that sentiment, and the way that it makes his heart clench. So instead  of addressing it, he says, “I am very close to being asleep.”

“Oh. Right, sorry, I’ll let you go-”

“No! No. Um. Would you mind staying on the line? Until I’m gone? I-I like hearing your voice. As well.”

“Oh! Sure, yeah, definitely. Anything in particular you want me to talk about?”

“Whatever you like. Something nice?”

“All right. I can do that. Um. Did I tell you about this little yarn shop I found the other day. It’s called ‘Puttin’ on the knitz’, and it’s…”

Jon peacefully drifts off, listening to the voice of the man who he can only admit in moments such as these, he wishes was in this bed, laying beside him.

Part 4

please come back please come back for the love of god come back I can’t believe you’re doing this do you have any idea how stupid this is come back to me come back come back come back

Part 5

There is plenty of things to long for in the apocalypse. A decent cuppa. The relief of actual sleep. Murdering Jonah Magnus. For there not to be a apocalypse. They are grateful, however, to not have to long for each other.

Part 6

Martin comes to without a knife in his hand, or bloodstains on his clothing. Those, under other circumstances, would be good things.

Martin comes to, laying in the grass, without anyone beside him. He barely has the moment to feel agony spike through him before he’s out once more.

There are no Jonathan Sims admitted to the hospital. As far as he can tell, no one was admitted into the hospital at the same time as him, and certainly no one with a stab wound.

There are thousands of ‘Jonathan Sims UK’, typed desperately into a library computer search bar, wielding mostly results about a sport manager and a romance novelist. None of the images are of the right person.

Sometimes Martin puts one foot in front of the other, carefully blank in heart and head. Surviving, even  during times that he’s not sure he wants to, is one of his greatest abilities.

Sometimes Martin despairs.

On the worst nights, he tries to call the Lonely back to him, tries to be swallowed whole. It never works. He’s not sure if it’s because the fears aren’t in the reality or if they’re not established enough to have any leverage or if his connection has simply been broken. (He doubts the last reason. He hasn’t been this alone since Tim’s funeral. Even then, Melanie had thrown a few stilted condolences towards him. No one is aware enough of him to give condolences now. He misses Melanie. He misses all of them. He misses Jon like a gaping, bleeding wound misses skin.)

Seven months later, and he has enough money saved and identity built that he moves on to Scotland. The little village they had been adjacent to exists in this reality. Daisy’s cottage does not.

On a whim, he enters the yarn shop. He’s not going to pick anything up, hobbies are the last thing he can focus on, but it’s nice to look. To feel the various textures, to take in the rich variance of colors, to, hopefully be present in his own body, if only for a moment.

Martin steps in. The bell chimes. He’s there. Standing in front of him. Whole. In a cry that’s closer to a gasp, he calls out, “JON!”

Jon turns, looks up at him, recognizes him even before he’s even fully seen him. It’s his Jon, he’s here he’s here he’s here. The callback of “MARTIN!” sounds like it was punched out of him, the start of a sob and a laugh all at once.

In a blink, they’re together, their embrace a tangle of limbs, a collision of lips, a mixture of tears. Martin can’t tell which of them is saying the litany of “thank god thank god thank god” and who’s repeating “it’s you it’s you it’s you.”

It’s Jon that’s telling him, “I knew you had to be here. I knew it, because I kept thinking. Surely. Surely this new universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to allow me to live, but to make me live without you.”

It’s Martin that replies, “I didn’t know. I thought it would be that cruel. Please don’t make me go through that again.”

Jon pulls him in tighter, eliminating the centimeter of space between them. Speaking into Martin’s neck, whispered in fierce devotion, Jon promises, “Never again. Never again. You and me. Together. For the rest of our lives.”

Barely discernible through his sobbing, Martin tells him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~*~

There are people that think that wanting is more worthwhile than having. Martin thinks, frankly, that those people have never been in love.

[moveobjectsonblogs]

Zodiac Challenge

Welcome to the Sims 4 Zodiac Challenge!

This idea came to me in a dream after a month of um-ing and ah-ing over whether or not I should start my very own Sims inspired Youtube Channel.

This is also inspired by the Not So Berry Challenge over on my queen, lilsimsie’s page, since I recently started playing that myself and found myself engaging with aspects of the game I never used to before. 

SO, the Zodiac challenge... It’s a legacy challenge inspired by Zodiac traits*, aspirations and careers with a little extra spice to keep the story moving along.  

*Please keep in mind that this is not a direct reflection of Zodiac traits, but merely an inspired challenge based on some common information surrounding each sign and a need to make a workable legacy challenge. I love all you little start signs out there equally and I believe we all have some positive influences on society as a whole. 

Okay, okay, cut to the chase already. Here are the rules of the challenge: 

No excessive money cheats (freerealestate is acceptable, as well as moderate transfer of household fees when a sim moves out) 

You have full control over CAS for your sims/partners/children, however traits are to remain according to challenge 

The color attached to each generation/sign needs to be visible on all sim outfits as well as in household, but you can decide to what degree

You can create looks inspired by the signs, but again, you can decide to what degree 

Make it your own! Where a generation requires pack-specific traits, aspirations, careers etc which you do not own, please substitute and come up with your own unique spin on it!

If a skill, aspiration, or career is listed, the expectation is to MAX IT OUT!

Please tag me! I want to see your videos, characters and creations on this

Generation 1 - Aries / Red - The Go-Getter

You start out as a runaway teen, trying to make it in the Big City. You believe you have what it takes to be the next National Leader, and the City is the place to be! You have a quick temper and a fiery personality, so in order to appear calm in the public eye (everyone wants a piece of you!) you need to practice Wellness every day. You don’t have time for marriage, but your PR Manager advised you it would look good for your political career to adopt!

Traits

Hot Headed

Self-Assured

Ambitious

Aspiration

Leader Of The Pack

Career

Politician (Politician branch to become National Leader)

Skills

Charisma

Wellness

Additional Requirements

Reach Level 3 Fame

Must have no biological children, only adopt

Don’t have a good relationship with child/ren

Never marry

Never retire 

Generation 2 - Taurus / Dark Green - The Loving Nurturer

All your life you tried to get the approval of your always-too-busy presidential parent. You were pawned off to day-care, baby-sitters and after-school activities to fill your time and never knew what a parental figure or family time was. You were told to always appear perfect in terms of good grades, a good university degree and a stable career but in your heart all you ever wanted was love! You spend quality time with your children and your greatest pleasure is helping them grow and succeed in life. You believe in taking the time to grow your own produce in order to eat only the healthiest food and other sims would describe you as ~earthy~.

Traits

Foodie

Family Oriented

Romantic

Aspiration

Big Happy Family

Career

Freelancer (any branch you want)

Skills

Parenting 

Gardening

Additional Requirements

Marry your High School/University sweetheart

Have minimum 3 children 

Work part time in order to help children with meals & homework everyday

Generation 3 - Gemini / Yellow - The Open-Minded Adventurer

You loved your cozy (some would say sheltered) and unconventional upbringing with your earthy parent and many siblings; however, you want to see the world and all it has to offer for yourself! You love people, creativity and being busy and you want to see it all, try it all and be it all. Thanks to your loving mom, you were always made to believe you can be whatever you want in this world. You can never sit still. Due to that, you have many different careers, many different worlds you live in and many different lovers...You’ll try anything once!

Traits

Outgoing

Adventurous

Creative

Aspiration

Renaissance Sim 

Career

Any 3 (as per Aspiration)

Skills

Flower Arranging

Video Gaming

Fitness 

Additional Requirements

Have a love child before marriage 

Have 3 failed romances before marriage 

Move to 3 different worlds in lifetime 

Generation 4 - Cancer / Grey - The Intuitive Gossip

You want a nice and normal life, no surprises, everything as it should be and in the right order. You want to settle down, and live an uneventful life. But when do plans ever work out like that? You earn a university degree in something sensible, and you follow that route with determination; however, you’ve always been described as psychic by those who know you, and you always have the dirt on the town folk. Finally, late in your life you understand that this ability can bring in some serious cash. You switch to the social media career and always work from home to protect your identity from those who’s secrets you spill. Who would ever suspect you, the nerdy Brainiac who barely speaks up? xoxo, Sims Girl

Traits

Neat

Unflirty 

Materialistic

Aspiration

Academic

Career

Initially something connected to Degree, but switch to Social Media (Internet Personality Branch) in late Adult Life Stage 

Skills

Logic

Writing

Media Production 

Additional Requirements

Attend university (Business or History degree)

Change careers when in Adult life stage to Social Media Career

Always work from home

Marry for convenience and not love (not attracted to partner)

Have no relationship with child/ren

Generation 5 - Leo / Gold - The Romantic Star

Your life growing up was boring. Your mom and dad were the least romantic people ever and everything was cookie-cutter perfect (and devoid of any emotion) growing up. So, from a young age, you throw yourself into movies and get lost in the romantic, passionate and fairy tale aesthetic of it all! You move to Del Sol Valley straight after high school to try and make it as a big star and start your own fairy tale! But it turns out not all fairy tales are perfect, and you have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince/ss!  

Traits

Cheerful

Self Absorbed 

Romantic

Aspiration

World Famous Celebrity

Career

Actor/Actress 

Skills

Acting

Singing 

Additional Requirements

Move to Del Sol Valley straight after high school with very little money (10K max)

Cheat on 2 different partners

Date both genders

Generation 6 - Virgo / Beige - The Critical Perfectionist

Owing to your famous parent, you always attended red carpet events with the best food imaginable. Let’s face it, you always thought your taste was just a touch above everyone else. And when you’re good at something never do it for free! Your dream is to criticize others and earn a pay check for it.For you, life is about experiences, perfection and having something to show for it in the bank account. You want to wear and eat the finest things!

Traits

Perfectionist

Genius

Snob

Aspiration

Fabulously Wealthy

Career

Critic (Food)

Skills

Gourmet Cooking

Mixology

Additional Requirements

Marry a famous sim or a sim at the top of their career

Have a house worth over 100K

Have 1 child

Generation 7 - Libra / Pink - The Classy Advocate

You grew up in a very classy home, with only the finest things. You believe in the value of beautiful art, intellectual discussions and physical beauty. From behind the thick, gilded window panes in your childhood mansion, you always witness the injustices of the world and felt a calling to help those without a voice.

Traits

Materialistic

Art Lover

Outgoing

Aspiration

Party Animal

Career

Law (Any Branch)

Skills

Charisma

Violin

Additional Requirements

Attend university, join the debate guild

Marry a sim you find extremely attractive

Volunteer weekly

Own art pieces worth over 20K

Generation 8 - Scorpio / Black - The Beautiful Empath 

You’re a sweetheart deep down and you find beauty in all things physical. Where your parents saw beauty in materialistic things, you see beauty in yourself and others. You always dreamed of perfecting your own body as a testament to your intense passion towards your goals. You meet a beautiful partner along the way and together, you create a perfect image of love, beauty and emotional intensity.

Traits

Jealous 

Active 

Romantic

Aspiration

Soulmate

Career

Athlete (Bodybuilder career)

Skills

Fitness

Mischief

Additional Requirements

Marry a sim seen as extremely attractive

Have 1 child minimum and encourage active side (from toddler to teenager)

Go on a date night with your partner every weekend

Generation 9 - Sagittarius / Purple - The Traveling Spy 

You’re fun to be around and can never sit still. You’ve used this to your advantage to lure people into trusting you, and you have friends all over the world! Little do they know, you’re a secret agent with some top-tier missions to accomplish. Your passion for love and romance means you have a few slip ups and made some (unexpectedly great) mistakes along the way. You can’t ever be tied down. Keep it moving, blend in with the locals and you’ll never get caught!

Traits

Non-Committal

Adventurous

Cheerful  

Aspiration

Serial Romantic

Career

Secret Agent (Any Branch)

Skills

Comedy

Photography

Additional Requirements

Live in Mt. Komorebi and Sulani in lifetime – dabble in local culture and activities  

Have children from both of the above worlds with one of the locals

Never marry  

Generation 10 - Capricorn / Brown - The Idealistic Pragmatist

You’re smart – scary smart. You are a quiet, intelligent soul and you love to lose yourself in the mountains when life gets overwhelming. You approach life with military intelligence, routine and perfection and never thought you could meet someone who cracked through your tough exterior. When you do meet them, you marry them after the first few dates and start your family. Your partner adores you and your family and quits their career to take care of the large brood of kids and animals in your rustic, outdoorsy home.

Traits

Loner

Genius

Loves the Outdoors

Aspiration

Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Career

Military 

Skills

Pet Training

Logic 

Additional Requirements

Marry a spouse after a maximum of 3 dates

Have spouse quit job to raise children

Have 4 children minimum

Go Climbing/Hiking or do Snow Sports every weekend

Generation 11 - Aquarius / Blue - The Outspoken Activist 

You grew up with nature and animals taking preference over technology and humans. Therefore, you are sickened by the state of the world that humans have created and you decide to pursue a green future. You are all for eco living, off the grid lifestyle and conserving the environment for generations to come.

Traits

Vegetarian

Green Fiend

Creative

Aspiration

Eco Innovator 

Career

Civil Designer (Green Technician) 

Skills

Fabrication 

Logic 

Additional Requirements

Live in Evergreen Harbor (all 3 neighborhoods) and convert all to Green Eco Footprint

Live off the grid at least once

Adopt children and animals until household limit of 8 is reached 

Generation 12 - Pisces / Light Green - The Creative Overthinker 

You’re a dreamer and you want to heal everyone. Due to your parent’s ideals growing up, you want to make a difference... but you also want to create art and move souls. You tend to internalize your dreams and fears and as a result often feel misunderstood. You move around as a doctor trying to heal the world and as a result, love is last on the list of accomplishments.

Traits

Creative

Gloomy

Loner  

Aspiration

Painter Extraordinaire 

Career

Doctor 

Skills

Painting 

Baking 

Additional Requirements

Have no friends apart from future spouse

Gain fame through paintings  

Marry for the first time as an elder

Never have children

Live in all worlds through lifetime

[agentofmischief]

What I want to see in future Sims Games (Discussion)

I was just watching a video on youtube by Plumbella about Sims 4′s failings at launch, and what still is lacking versus the previous games. A lot of it I agreed with, because I didn’t start playing Sims 4 until 2 years after it’s release because they didn’t have toddlers and pools, which to me was sacrilege. Why would I play a sims game that took a huge step back by removing toddlers? And what sims game doesn’t have a pool mechanic? How am I supposed to mass kill my sims?

Anyway, after watching it, I began thinking about what I’d like to see in the next generation. It’s likely not far off, as it’s been 8 years since the release of Sims 4, and usually each generation has run 5 years. And as a simmer since Sims 1, here’s a list of what I’d like to see in the next edition, or Sims 5. I’d like to discuss this, so if ya’ll have any additions or points, I’d like to read them.

For Sims 5, what I'd like to see:

-Better semi-open world, so we can go within a neighborhood lot to lot with ease, but load for a different part of town maybe.

-3D world/town maps

-Auto-age toggling (like we have in 4)

-Build/design neighborhood lots and locations (like in Sims 2). *This was one of my favorite parts of the sims 2, and I've been missing it in recent base games. It's not exactly world building like Sims 3 had in an expansion pack, because from what I heard it was a bit much. But maybe I'd like to turn the island in Brindleton Bay into a small community town with 4-5 15x20 lots or 3 varying lots. It could work with a semi-open world because while you’d control the lot sizes in a neighborhood to a point, the size of the neighborhood is still the same.

-Set life story for townies/npcs. *As an adult, I'm appreciating the lore around the sims more than I did as a kid.

-Color-wheel, at least for CAS. *I don't think it's necessary for build, because while it was fun in sims 3, it was also bit much. I am preferring the swatch options for build and buy. It's a lot more realistic. But hair color, eye color, skin color, and makeup are all highly different person to person. There is no reason not to have a color-wheel for those.

-Zodiac and better personality system. *In 4, we have 3 traits and a life goal, completely ignoring the zodiac scales in previous games, which provided better character personality for gameplay. In 3, we had 5 traits that essentially covered it, as the zodiac scales always had 5 sliders anyway, but it did mean we lost the base personality aspects, and those sliders. I can understand EA wanting to steer away from Zodiac signs, but maybe move to an MBTI slider scale instead, which would still add a lot more dynamic character personalities, with 3 additional traits for preferences, hobbies, and lifestyles.

-Gender toggling *we have it in sims 4, and it should continue in future editions.

-Memories and want/fears system over whims *These were in 2 and 3, and were so much better for storytelling reasons. Emotions are fun sometimes, but can be annoying. Especially when a neighbor dies during the welcome wagon, and your sim is sad for 5 days for mourning when they didn't even know them. Maybe an emotion system that works with memories and a wants/fears system.

-Extensive family trees *In sims 2 and 3, you could see a full family tree on one page, rather than just one sim’s immediate family tree.

-Sims Gallery system *easily best part of sims 4 for the community on the whole.

-Bendable stairs *amazing sims 4 addition that needs to continue

-Automatic roofs *I miss this from 2 & 3, because it took me years to figure out how to make good roofs, and I'm too lazy to put in 50 roof pieces.

-Terrain tools *These were in sims 2 & 3 base game on release, but were added way late in sims 4.

-Cars! *They were in 2&3. Why they were never put in 4 is beyond me.

-Risky Woohoos and Fertility toggling *MCC mod allows this, and makes for better story-telling in my opinion. With the evolution of woohooing since the first game, and the evolution of where sim babies come from (1st gen was kissing a lot until *boom* baby. Woohooing was only with one certain bed or jacuzzi, and did not make a baby. It wasn’t until Sims 2 did that change.), it feels like a natural progression for that mechanic. And thanks to MCC, we know its possible within the game mechanics.

Most of these we have now in sims 4, but if Sims 5 had all but one or two at launch, I feel like that would be a generation worth buying at release. Some fun additional ideas I have that I think would make the game fun, but maybe not doable for a while (or maybe at all) would be:

-Reboot Sims City as a fusion game with the sims to allow simmers to bring over towns/cities as a neighborhood base. *Like take sim city back to the bare bones idea it was when it came out of Super Nintendo of being the mayor and building one city, but allow players to also play as the sims within that town.

-Add 2 new ages: Preteen and Middle-Aged *I feel like this would add a lot of game-play value as well as storytelling to the game. Preteen could be used to really experiment with likes & dislikes and hobbies, since that time kids are really discovering who they are. It’s weird to see sims go from literal children to pretty much young adults with the teen styles. Personally, it feels like the age body-wise jumps from 6-10 to 16-19, which is a serious jump. And Middle-Aged would add so much elder gameplay. YA = 19-29 Adult = 30-70 now, when it should be 30-49. With an addition of Middle-Aged would be 50-69, and you could still have work-life, while losing the ability to try for baby when your sims are practically grandparents already. You could also have a mid-life crisis mechanic. All without worrying that your sim is going to die of old age after 2 days.

I know this has been a long-winded list. If you’ve read this far, thanks. Leave a comment on your thoughts. What should be in the next generation of Sims?

[xerospaced]

So i was curious as to whether a meltdown could be catatonic

As I feel, on an emotional level, that I am having a meltdown but rather than the crying/rocking/moaning/stimming/hyperventilating and what have you

I'm stuck

Like i managed to sit up to plug my phone in coz an hour or so ago coz it hit 1%

But otherwise I've been locked in this position for about 4 hours.

So anyway, I google catatonic meltdown to see if it's a thing

Lo and behold!

Not only is it a thing

But I've been having catatonic episodes for weeks IF NOT MONTHS

The lack of initiation, agitation, limited movement, limited speech, slowness (and I mean wow fucking slowness!! Im moving so slow I am losing literal HOURS without realising it)...

Ykno what

Lemme just post a screencap of the list of presentations

And... it is presentations in autism - I was searching meltdowns so makes sense

What I'm saying is that I have [and have had in various combinations over the past weeks/months] ALL OF THESE FUCKING SYMPTOMS

Even down to the grimacing ayfkm

And the only reason I even noticed the grimacing was coz i realised it was happening a few weeks ago but couldn't seem to stop it and I thought it was fucking odd.

Aggression and difficulty initiating actions CHECK AND FUCKING CHECK- it's getting our of hand.

Hesitations. Repetitive movements! My back is FUCKED coz i can't maintain a suitable seated position for longer than im stuxk thinking about it.

I legit feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. Like I'm not here.

Weirdly... scary to know this is it's own thing I'm experiencing. Daunting. But also - I've been dealing with this my whole life. No exaggeration. Sometimes I have months where I'm clear. But I would say I experience at least half of any one of these given symptoms at any given time.

That's....

Incredibly fucking upsetting if I'm honest.

I kept thinking that one day I would just figure it out.

I will be able to move when I want to. Eat when I should. Pull myself away from my interests when I wish. Not lost untold time getting stuck repeating the same motion with no end goal. Urinate when my bladder is full rather than the last second where my body is right about to override my fuggen brain! Work when I want to work!

But the aggression. These past days. I put it down to PMS - I'm sure it's played it's part. But last weeks. The consistent agitation. The inability to perform any necessary task. Falling behind on my work. The absolutely NOTHING mood. But agitation gnawing away consistently.

I feel like a powder keg.

I have no support.

I have no diagnosis [it's become impossible to believe that I'm wrong about my suspicions of ASD at this point].

I have no idea how to manage it.

And all the live long day it's "try this and try this and figure this out" and I just want to fucking scream because my brain is NOT WORKING!

What's the solution that fixes the line between I WANT to do something and me Actually doing it!?

I want to play sims but even something I actively enjoy I miss out on because I can not initiate action.

Yes, I find it easier to accomplish tasks when I am around people. BUT I AM ALONE 95% OF THE TIME. Soon to be something closer to 99.

SO.......!!??

And I feel guilty

I feel shitty

I'm underperforming!

I work quickly and to a high standard but I'm lagging because I can't start. Or I do start but I can't maintain course.

Im still stuck in the same twisted position as when I started typing this 20 mins ago and I'm sure it hurts but I cant even tell if it hurts anymore.

I can't remember what natural hunger feels like. I'm talking ravenous or nothing - mostly nothing.

And there's been so much going on lately.

And all I'm hearing is what I'm not doing.

What I need to improve.

Where I'm falling short.

Do more. Do More. DO MORE.

My moods are shifting too quick for me to log them. Not that it matters anyway coz I lack the ability to initiate that fucking task too.

There are so many things I want to do. And I know exactly how I want to be living. And I know (from the short few months in which I actually managed it) how good it feels to live the way I want.

But I can't make it happen.

I can't even decide if I should feed myself rn.

All this shit going on has not had me mentally stressed - at points, I'm not exactly big on stressing or worrying - but what has become undeniable is that it has fucked me on a functional basis.

I'm not steering the ship. And I don't know how to take control.

And I'm on a fucking 11 month waiting list for an autism assessment.

When I say life has been Hard.

The ADHD that was only diagnosed last year, the likely undiagnosed ASD, also diagnosed last year was the autoimmune connective tissue disease. Major depressive disorder. Multiple forms of anxiety. The misdiagnosed bpd. And then IF WE REALLY HAVE TO let's add on the self-harm, failed suicide attempt(s), ostracisation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, being literally left for dead, the plethora of hospitalizations as a child, childhood emotional neglect, abandonment, overlooked behavioural issues, teenage self-medicating, bullying, and fuggen MORE

I mean

Life

Is

Fuxking

HARD.

With a brain and a body that won't connect (and is also trying to destroy me for shits and giggles).

And I'm still wanting to keep going.

At this point... purely out of spite.

Because fuck this hand I've been dealt. But Fuck Me if I'm not a sharp son of a bitch! Ima play the fuck out of em.

Almost 27 years I've dragged myself through misery and I'm still in it.

I refuse to tap out now. I got no choice but to make it worth something. To make it matter. To make my existence mean more than a stupid fucking mistake the universe has been trying to erase.

I gotta be in this for Something.

This can't be all life has to give me.

Surely.

[hydradrive]

Go Hellnalysis (aka : hydradrive gets mad at the fanbase for ignoring go’s ongoing 2 season long breakdown for like, 5+ paragraphs)

We are talking S1 foreshadowing as it relates to the facts of S2. As already mentioned, I think it sucks of the writers to do it to him like how it sucks how they treated Emma and Aoi throughout the entire series and reeks of colorism like. having your two darkest skinned characters be actively antagonistic as s2 goes on is a bad fucking look. 

But it’s there, and I am not happy that people defend Lightning weirdly when he treats people he knew for years badly, and then turn around and say wildly fucked up shit about Go.

I guess today is the day i Get Into It Again. I’ll be rehashing some of my points from my old thread on nac, so strap in i guess.

This is said to Playmaker in season two. 

‘After i lost to you’. 

So, by episode 4. And the text backs this up. The text in season one aligns.

In Go Onizuka VS Genome :

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Dr. Genome : Did your defeat at Playmaker’s hands force you to evolver? 

Go Onizuka : As much as I hate to admit it, yes. That was when everything changed. 

/end text screenshot id ]

That was when everything changed.

Let’s look at the rest of it, then. How it affected him, in the long-term. The Go Analysis... Is here.

MASSIVE CWs for discussion of canonical weight loss, brief discussion of disordered eating in the context of that, and a whole bunch of other stuff re: the brain hack that I don’t even know how to tag, really. medical? Basically, if you have any triggers relating to that, please exercise due diligence because I will not pull any punches about the implications.

tldr version :

This is real dialogue from Go Onizuka’s first (and only) duel against Revolver. 

No matter what he says trying to spin it a different way after this segment of text, that it’s about fighting for yourself, these statements exist, and they exist with the context given by his own words; that he was struggling, mental health-wise, when he said these words.

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Go Onizuka : Until now, I’ve battled in front of huge crowds. (There is a single beat frame, to indicate silence.) But I realized I’m all alone. There are no fans rooting for me here. I realized... We always duel alone. We fight for ourselves, not for anyone else. 

/end text screenshot id ]

But perhaps this isn’t compelling enough for people. Fine. Let’s go even further back.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : Go Onizuka : It’s my fault that Makoto is in this condition. /end text screenshot id ]

Go has an easily seen habit of assuming the worst, and with regards to stuff like Makoto, blaming himself, to the point that if his manager hadn't said more on Makoto, he would've been going into VS Genome blaming himself for Makoto getting into duel monsters in the first place.

In episode 5 it was shown that with one loss he was entirely certain that nobody would care about him in any capacity:

But why?

... It’s brought up in one of the first episodes of the entire series.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : 

Go Onizuka’s Manager : That’s exactly it. It’s a winner-take-all world, after all. 

/end text id. ]

And given an even more... depressing? Spin later, when Go thinks about it throughout S1 and S2 during his duel with Takeru:

[ transcript for screen readers : 

Before I was placed in the orphanage, I only relied on myself. The world I lived in was all about survival of the fittest. “You must protect yourself” was my credo. 

/ end text screenshot id ]

It’s genuinely that simple. He slipped back into his old way of surviving because the way he did in season one didn't. save him. it didn't save him from a duel he needed to win, not just for himself necessarily. he would have died if playmaker had lost. a lot of people would have. He was already starting to have these doubts about his entire reason d’etre for dueling, and his loss only further spurred it on.

It’s repeated, again and again:

[ transcript for screen readers :

Go Onizuka : For everyone to appreciate me, I must win! 

/end text screenshot id ]

That sentiment. “People won’t like me if I lose.” “People will abandon me, if I lose.” In his own words, his losses, losses in duels that were important, rotted him. And it /is/ true. His manager said he’d leave if he went to try and stop the Tower Of Hanoi and lost. And he followed through with it, by all implications. He didn’t come back until season 3. Keeping in mind that Go’s self-hatred spiral regarding guilt over in his mind dragging Makoto into the mess that was season one-era Hanoi shenanigans was only cut off because his manager and other people talked him out of it... Yeah.

This is before we bring in the other complicating factor : a certain little company, who never did anything good for anyone. A man, who despite supposedly being well-intentioned, did very little to help, until it reached the darkest point.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers, since that’s the primary important stuff : 

Akira Zaizen : But we don’t intend to acknowledge that the network was on the brink of destruction. So I ask you don’t cause the press to delve into this. 

/end text screencap id]

People focus so much on him yelling at the press because they keep asking about Playmaker but with this context?

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You’ll continue to be the focus of the press. /end text screenshot id ]

He’s not allowed to talk about how you nearly died.

He’s not allowed to talk about what really was at stake.

In fact, he’s not allowed to even act in a way that makes people even a little suspicious about what happened.

And yet.

‘But he could just ignore this advice’ . Not really. Go Onizuka’s platform was built in Link Vrains. Being the whistleblower about the actual danger of Link Vrains would not endear him to Sol, and potential backlash from Sol, from everything we know about the company? Hmm, gosh, wonder why that might be bad. Almost as if Go is basically a livestreamer who is at risk of having the video platform he exists on die.

It would be incredibly difficult to continue working under the public eye like that. The stress from that alone would start tearing someone to pieces.

Ergo, his decision to work for Sol Technologies as a bounty hunter. Both jobs now hinge on him currying favor with a horrible megacorporation, one just has less baggage from his past way of surviving and gives him the ability to talk a tiny bit more freely about things.

This is all the leadup, of course, to the ultimate lowest point. The duel chip. Brain hack.

[ transcript text for screen readers: ‘By implanting this duel chip, the brain’s thought capabilities expand.’ /end text screenshot id ]

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You can always refuse.

Go Onizuka : Your methods are dirty. You guide me to the gates of hell, but you don’t care what happens afterwards.  /end text screenshot id ]��

Let’s talk about the physical side-effects of the brain chip on Go Onizuka.

Me, personally? I genuinely wonder what came first; the most severe physical side-effects or a worsening of Go’s mental health that made him stop eating. 

It’s never stated what came first. We only see the mental health side effects of the chip in flashbacks initially.

I looked at one of the instances where Akira pulled go out of the sim wrt: the listed sys/dia ratios on-screen. They have those in certain shots, btw! They’re consistently really fucked up!

Here’s what those were, in one very notable instance:

... So, right off the bat, a heartrate of 195, huh.

And a sys/dia of 187/112 with a mean of 136. Wow! I wonder what that means for him!

I can tell you. 

He statistically would be in the range of having a hypertensive emergency. Having rates like this can damage your heart muscle when you don’t literally have a heart attack, hypertensive encephalopathy, ( which can cause dizziness and altered levels of consciousness, if we are getting into it.), kidney failure, coughing up blood...

I don’t want to speculate too much about why the Duel Chip caused this, but I will note that blood pressures like this sometimes come about as result of issues with the neuroendocrine system. This would tie in with a loss of appetite and some of the other things Go seems to canonically have had from the getgo of having the chip installed, and probably added on to his already pre-existing mental health stuff which I personally parsed as depression.

... I think this mostly covers the main points of what gets missed. Aka, literally all of his arc. Just, literally every piece of his arc. People miss all of it.

Also, to reiterate : it is NOT GOOD the way this is framed by the writers. it is loaded to, in a series heavily informed by the main character’s trauma, have a teenaged darker skin character ( Go is 19!! ) be portrayed as more erratic, etc etc. I do Not care about Lightning. He is a little robot, and while there is probably some ableism in the way trauma is represented therein as a corrupting force, it is far more worrying how Go is treated in terms of representation, and I am not going to bat for the guy who treated Haru like dogshit lmao. 

The fact that one of the two darker skinned MOC is given more obvious mental/physical illness signifiers in terms of symptoms to mark them as antagonists (when, again, Yusaku literally CANONICALLY HAS PTSD) fucking blows, and I’m going to personally fight the writers. 

But. I am also laying the blame at the fanbase’s feet for this shit, too. They literally ignored this to coo over Lightning. I’m going to bite them.

[princess-stabbity]

@demonwrestler​ boy howdy do i have recs for you! took me a lil while to collect my brain, but here’s some of what i’d consider some of the best ones out there rn:

enhanced inquisitor sliders: get lost for hours, trying to get your character’s scars just right! seriously, the extra customization is great.

i also like this mod for improving makeup, tho it makes certain npcs look a bit wild (lord seeker lucius has got wings for DAYS in my game, lmao). also highly rec sos brows.

hair: where to start! updates in frosty have allowed enterprising modders to do some excellent work recreating sims hairstyles or creating their own. i tend to avoid the fancier looks for suspension of disbelief reasons, but one has to appreciate the skill and variety: hairstyle day, misc hairstyles for frosty, curls for frosty, dark’s curly hair conversions, and anto hairstyles for dai are all incredible work. skaramoosh’s work also still holds up, including sk hair pack and sk qunari mini hair pack. for a few other ones i like, i’d suggest tweaked bun, messy hairs, and the many works of koric. 

the main thing to keep in mind when modding hair (and most of these pages include a reminder of this in the description) is that you can only replace each vanilla hair with one mod hair at a time (eg, only one mod that replaces hair 052). they’ll always tell you which hairstyle they’re replacing, you’ve just got to keep track if you’re using multiple at once. also: any npc using the same hair as you will also be changed. 

complexions: you probably already grabbed these, but ascendia’s stuff is largely considered the gold standard for complexions. here are frosty ports for her stuff: [1] [2]. shepshy has a nice one here, if you like moles. you may also want to check out work by kittentails and ihuntalone (haven’t tried them myself, since i don’t think my desktop could handle 4k)

somewhat related: there’s a modpack for qunari under the name susi adaar, and it has a makeup file for them that allows for truly fantastic freckles. also, since i’m here and i am incredibly biased in favor of qunari and dwarves, i thought i’d share a few mods that cater to them, bc i have had to do a damn lot of digging thru hf/ef only stuff:

ornamental horns

bigger horns for femqunari

horns of plenty

scion of glory

the carta cut

dwarven skyhold outfit retextures

dwarven finery

and finally custom body models bc give me my broad shoulders and wide dwarven hips back, you cowards

oh, and on that note, if you’d like a more character-specific look than the intro provides, you can try tirnoney’s immersive starting armors or invisible prologue outfit. and there are dozens and dozens of options for pjs and formal wear, so i’ll just drop these here:

dress: wedding dress replacer for frosty, sk’s mesh edit (works with all retexes!), the dress by jacknifelee, the dress but halloween this time, prestige couture, kittentails’ elf dresses and retexes

formal wear: exquisition for frosty, champagne and truffles, sk’s stuff for frosty, decorated formal wear

pjs: libelula (now including dwarves), brocade outfit (now including men), jammas of the kadan

the good news abt wedding dress edits are every texture works on every inquisitor. no worries abt “only for hf and ef,” unlike with pjs. just have to keep in mind you can only have one retex at a time also it really flattens the figure and the mismatch w skintones drives me nuts. or, if you’d like to just wear a vanilla orlesian dress, padme4000 has recently released orlesian dress for the inquisitor.

and, of course, i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention inquisitor wardrobes. i haven’t used it, bc it’s a bundle and i’m concerned abt conflicts, but it has a lot of fun options.

finally, here’s some stuff for flower crowns, bc we deserve it: [1] [2] [3]

gameplay stuff: 

this playthru i’ve been using inquisitor from the start, which allows you to use all 3 class specializations from the beginning (in fact, if you’re a mage, your starting abilities become spirit blade and stonefist, which takes some adjusting to...). definitely op, and a lot of fun. i’ve been enjoying finally exploring rift mage so much i might make it my adaar’s canon spec.

jerrybullet has made all kinds of other ability tree mods that make things easier and/or more fun, like removing prerequisites. highly recommend checking out his stuff. 

spirit blade nerf revert: bc fuck balance.

i haven’t tried this one by soriyumi, but based on how much i’m enjoying this one of theirs, both are worth mentioning.

necromancy enhanced: haven’t tried it, but i suspect it’s relevant to your interests!

i also recommend going ahead and using someone else’s playthru to unlock the golden nug, bc fuck it. i want the blade of tidarion and i want it now, you know?and everything is easier in tier 4 gear, even if it’s made using tier 1 mats.

which, speaking of, i recommend upgrading a bunch of cool schematics to tier 4 and adding a useful crafting mat shop to redcliffe or even the crossroads. bc i’m all abt fashion and violence. 

oh, and this doesn’t really fit in any of my loose categories here, but: party at the winter palace. and sera mod. both by sapphim, both v good. and here is a bundle mod for getting modded content to show up in dlcs (esp useful in the black emporium, obv).

i did say i had a lot of recs, yeah? lmao

[bekups]

DO THE 100 AS WELL.

1. What’s your philosophy in life? Now? Love it? Uh... live it.

2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself? ...

3. Are you religious or spiritual? I’m Beks

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Depends the mood.

5. Which parent are you closer to and why? Not any of them.

6. What was the best phase in your life? Now more so?

7. What was the worst phase in your life? My teens till early twenties

8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up? No never came a cross my mind I’d be a tattoo artist.

9. What makes you feel accomplished? Finishing tattoos at new record levels!

10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?terminator 2, all around sick ass movie

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Lying? It’s one of them at least ahha.

12. Are you more into looks or brains? One who makes my heart sing man

13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated? I dunno...

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner? For my phone? It’s not locked so have at’eer.

15. When do you think a person is ready for marriage? When they know?

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be? A imma try my best to be?

17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner? Not care? They’re not in my life anymore.

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything? A friend of mine.

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes? No ahha they usually become a ex for a good reason.

20. Have you ever lost someone close to you? More than I’d like to admit for reasons I can’t dare believe was the reasons why.

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up? With me? Let me complain a bit.

22. What’s an ideal weekend for you? When I am not working? Just relaxing as it’s usually with myself ahah

23. What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex? Same as ones that are the same sex?

24. Do you judge a book by its cover? No?

25. Are you confrontational? Yea apparently

26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart? Years back.

27. Would you relocate for love? Sure?

28. Did you ever write a journal? Nah nah, no one needs to read that.

29. What are you most thankful for? ...

30. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you? Ahhahaha

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation? A vacation

33. What did your past relationship teach you? I’m a pussy

34. What are your thoughts on online dating or tinder? Whatever floats your boat

35. What’s on your bucket list this year? Meeting people

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush? Getting tattooed

37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again? No it’s tattooed now and fuck no.

38. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for? Ask me in personal

39. What’s your biggest regret in life? Lots

40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself? Things

41. Does your job make you happy? Yea man

42. What did you want to be when you were younger? I can’t remember

43. Why did your last relationship end? ... I wouldn’t have sex with them 🤷🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️

45. What’s been your biggest mistake so far in life and what did you learn from it? Don’t be scared to talk about who you are? ????

46. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go? Tattooing

47. What are your top five favorite movies? Adams family

Wedding singer (shhh I know man I know)

Beetlejuice

Spongebob movie

Fight club

48. What are some of your favorite songs? I have way to many

49. What qualities do you admire about your parents? Nothing they’re fucking shit

50. How would you describe your best friend? Special.

51. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone? Play sims ahha

52. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing? Drinking a coffee

53. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately? Randomly spoke to people ahha

54. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love? ...

55. What’s your biggest pet peeve? Vape videos

56. Why do you think you’re still single? Because ask in personal

57. What accomplishment are you most proud of? Owning and running my own tattoo shop in Lincoln

58. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish? ??

59. What is your greatest fear? I told you man.

60. What are three things you value most about a person? Honestly, themselves, how they treat others

61. Who are five people you are closest with? Not many as five that’s for sure ahah

62. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome? I haven’t yet

63. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Tokyo is fucking rad man

64. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year? Traveling again

65. What’s your favorite beer? Sapporo actually

66. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today? People judge before they even know a person. Aka people think they’re time is better than anyone else’s time.

67. Who are you closer with your mom or your dad? None

68. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? ...

69. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be? Just be fucking nice? Have some respect?

70. Who was your favorite teacher and why? Didn’t have one

71. What sport did you fall in love with? Cricket was fun to watch.

72. What is the weirdest thing about you? AHAH

73. What was your longest relationship? 3 months

74. What would your best friend say is your best quality? I’m loyal

75. Who is your favorite historical figure? Brittany spears

76. What made you choose the college you went to? Didn’t go

77. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be? Fucking tattoo

78. What food could you not live without? Food

79. Dogs or Cats? Manatees

80. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested? Speaking up

81. What was your best birthday? When I moved out, whatever age that was.

82. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do? Uh ...

83. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been? Never been to Canada, seems chill there

84. What was the last book you read? And When? Can’t remember

85. Where do you usually get your news? I don’t

86. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years? Things

87. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far? Tattooing

88. If you could get away with anything that you do? Kill? Rob a bank ahaha

89. Who is your greatest hero? People who stop to help animals in distress

90. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken? Moving out

91. Why are we here? I’m only taking a big leap here... but my guess is your parents did what my parents did and we here for reasons though? Aha didn’t pull out.

92. If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in? Noo ahaha definitely not.

93. Do you believe in fate? Maybe?

94. How do you think people see you? A tatted up guy

95. If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, what

would it be? ...

96. What song makes you unconditionally happy? Dance songs

97. If you could have anybody else’s life, who’s would you take? ...

98. What fictional character do you most relate to? Ed from cowboy bebop

99. If I asked you at age 5 what you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you say? Probably a race car driver or vet

100. What is your biggest irrational fear?

Being alone.

Thank yea man... only 5 million years later

[nikatyler]

I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying already? Well, no, but actually, yes. I kinda wish we had less time because this way, I’m going to waste so much of it procrastinating.

But maybe now that I’ve told you, I’ll decide to not procrastinate so that you can be proud of me or something. Maybe I’ll show that I am in fact capable of character development. Idk.

Yeah, I’m losing my mind. Just a little bit.

By the way, anyone else feels dead inside after watching the new Game of Thrones episode? You know, in the first part, I literally forgot what I was watching because everyone was so happy and celebrating and all that and then I got a reminder. This show is going to be the death of me.

desira-sims replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

I feel ya on social media. I recently got rid of a mobile game and the associated fb pages I was in. I’m no longer constantly checking my phone for it. It’s been nice taking a break from that. Focus on school, since that’s the most important thing. Come find us when you need a breather. ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

Yes, social media are basically time-eaters who steal the time which could be spend on writing or simming. Recently I've unsubscribed from several Instagram pages dedicated to memes as they my flooded dash and I spent too much time on them. Last two days I've played TS3 world adventures on my laptop without internet connection and it was great

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

And I barely paid attention to tumblr as well recently... Well the weather is so great that it would be a crime to spend time onlineXD

Ooh boy, if I was able to get rid of all the memes pages I follow, I’d have so much free time on my hands. But also, I mean...memes.

As for social media, I wish I could deactivate my Facebook account. I really wish. But sadly, all the people I know irl are there. I have to stay there to keep in touch with them. We still share a lot of school stuff there, I’d be lost without it. But those are the only reasons I’m there, I never post on it anymore. I actually deleted most of my photos and old status updates and unfollowed most pages.

I’m going to repeat myself here but I’m so glad I got rid of Twitter. I loved it there, but at the same time, it fueled my negativity. Even when I found and muted or straight up unfollowed the biggest sources of it, I wasn’t happy. So I just stepped into the daylight and let it go and it was the best decision I could make. Even though now tumblr will probably have to deal with my random thoughts. I need to find a special tag for that. Not just “nonsims” or “saviorhide”. Maybe “simmeronnie is losing it again”.

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Isla Paradiso didn’t disappoint at all. It was everything I’ve ever...”

Skyporn 24/7 sounds like a radio station

Lmao you’re not wrong. Or it could be something like a stream where they only record videos of really really gorgeous sky. I’d watch that. Seriously, shut up and take my money. I could stare at pretty sky all day.

desira-sims replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

I recently went back and started this legacy. (Just got to the Gen 5 switch). I think Rachel is absolutely adorable.

Ahh, no way! I hope you’re having fun even though it’s a total mess :D I have to agree though, I love Rachel, she’s awesome.

Watch out, tiny gen 4 rant coming. When I have nothing else to do and I feel inspired, I rewrite gen 4 because I love these characters and they deserve a way better story. I consider the stories they got in the legacy the first drafts/starting point/base or something like that. So in some way, most of this stays in the “new canon”, it’s just thought through better or changed a little bit.

Okay, that wasn’t really a rant but seriously, stop me whenever I seem like I’m about to start rambling about gen 4.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

Number 4 - high five, Zoey, same with me!XD

5 actually, too

Ah, yes, same. Number 4...oh god. Been there, sort of. Just because I’m crushing on a person doesn’t mean I imagine being with them in bed all the freaking time. *looks at a friend who loves to imply that...when I’m actually a small innocent child who only knows woohoo from the sims and I’m not ashamed to admit it*

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Regan: “Court! Finally! How was the flight?” Courtney: “Not bad. I...”

Why is her face so funny to me ��

Well, it is kinda funny :D

philodendronandfoxes replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon needs to chill.

desira-sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Don't let them get to you. Something I have learned as I've grown older: Hobbies come and go. One minute you'll find enjoyment in something and the next it doesn't hold the same appeal. Some times you'll come back to that hobby and some times you never pick it up again. Taking a break is something everyone needs. They even tell new parents to take a little "me time" so that they don't get overwhelmed. Taking a moment to collect yourself is understandable.

108sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Taking breaks from tumblr is good for your sanity. I had to last month for the sake of my mental health I got stressed out falling behind here and dealing with job stuff. Just like for you with school, job takes priority over my blog. I’ve taken so many breaks, honestly it’s fun to enjoy other hobbies and do other things.

dandylion240 replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

RL should always take priority. Taking breaks and doing other things is healthy and good. Don't let this anon get to you or make you feel guilty.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon is strange - as if tumblr was the only life you've got and you have to stay here whenever you like it or not. Why read between the lines and find unexisting stuff there like you don't care about your followers? It comes without saying that a person needs breaks from the tumblr every now and then

But who knows probably the anon wanted only to provoke you to start our "favorite" drama. In this case they do need to find a life for themselves

Btw too - feeling lonely on tumblr also can be a reason for a hiatus, so anon makes no sense

So I kinda didn’t want to address this anymore because I feel like I’ve said everything in my lengthy answer to that ask but I just wanna say thank you for writing all of this. I didn’t feel bad when I got this, the anon didn’t change my opinion, I still believe everyone has the right to take a break, leave tumblr behind for a bit and not feel sorry about it. Take that me time and come back better than ever (or not if you don’t feel like, that’s fine too)! I was still worried about posting this answer though. So thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who feels this way!

dandylion240 replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and have fun with the last day! It'll be bittersweet knowing this may be the last time you'll all be together but it's exciting too because it marks a beginning of something new. So happy for you!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and welcome to the "adult" life! Let this day be one of the brightest moments in your memory!

Now I'm feeling nostalgic, I'll go and look through my graduation album

108sims replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

That sounds like a really fun way to spend your last day! At my school at least we had a Senior day where there were a bunch of games and activities. Good luck on your exams, and I hope you enjoy your last day and everything that is to come!

It was very fun and everyone looked so good in their costumes! One of my classmates wore this 20s-like dress and oooh boy. She was gorgeous. Just...leaving on that day was really bittersweet. Part of me was like “yas, we’re done with this place!” but the other part of me already missed it. And yeah, our teacher didn’t forget to remind us that all of us might never meet again. There are reunions, it’s a tradition, but there’s always someone who can’t come.

Okay, moving on or else I’ll start crying, and I’ve already cried a lot today. Looking at you, GoT episode 4.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Regan: “You made it! Nice. I’ve heard you almost threw up on the...”

i'm laughing at the two couples in the background, both flirting during this conversation

Oh god I didn’t realize how funny that looks :D I didn’t want them to just stand there haha.

dandylion240 replied to your photo “In Character Judgement Call: Caleb Protect this soft boy. RULES: You...”

I Caleb the most from gen 4

I know this is just missing a word and I shouldn’t laugh but it comes off kinda funny. Still, thank you!

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Felix: “You look perfect. No, no, you are perfect. Some girls are...”

Despite his ability to burp at inappropriate times Felix can say the sweetest things

No sweeter words have ever been spoken about my boy

Also no truer words have ever been spoken about my boy

108sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck!

nineyellowgirl replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

keeping fingers crossed :D

desira-sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck on you exam!

Thank you guys! The results should come on May 15th. Wish it was that day already. I think I did well, but I won’t be calm until I actually see it.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “One day, I’ll have a nice tiny mods folder again. Today is not that...”

The TS4 community needs to come up with a Compressorizer like TS2 and TS3 has tbh

Yeah that would be nice. TS4 needs a lot of things in general though, to be fair.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hmm...”

Hm the thing I do plan something with berries and I need a spouse for my founder which I don't want to create myself... Sooo... Yeah, I could use a sim ��

flowerhoneysims replied to your post “Hmm...”

@simmeronnie But it‘s another kind of pink ☺️

Alright guys, I have an idea. Shoot me a message and we can talk about it! I’m down for this. Here’s just a brief description of everyone I can offer (in case someone else would like a sim and would like to know what they’re signing up for), we can talk more in depth in the messages later. I have one mean pink girl who loves robots, then this one that I’ve shown (she doesn’t have too much personality yet, but she hates her other sister and loves videogames), an agender person with pink skin, white hair and white eyes (loves animals and is the total opposite of their mean twinsister - and yet they’re still best friends somehow) and one pink boy with white eyes who just aged up into a child so I have no idea what he’s going to be like yet. I just remember he got the No Sense of Humor trait.

Can I have a wish though? If I send you one of these sims, would you please share with me the sim they end up with? I would love for them to get together in my game as well.

Side note, can you already tell my bpr is going to be a bigger mess than all my other legacies combined?

lyrea replied to your photoset “Okay, clearly he didn’t ruin all the traditions. Crisis averted.”

^_^ That is an impressive cake they got.

Oh, it is! I’m not sure now, but it might be the one that came with Monte Vista?

[ofbuffoon-blog]

hhhhhhhhowdy ! my name is amanda ( 18 , she/they & est ) and I just recently finished watching the society and it .............. fucked me up???? grizz ?? has my whole heart ?? but yeah !! I’ll keep this short : I live to play the sims, I have 2 cats + 4 rats and I love to take naps. oh !! and I’m super excited to be a part of this rp and to meet all of you and your characters !!

there’s info on my lil evie spencers under the cut as well as some wanted connections at the end. it is quite lengthy + I apologize but her past section especially got kind of long so I made a SHORTER VERSION if you don’t want to read all of it :~) I also have a BIO + STATS page up if you want to check those out .

( HALSTON SAGE / TWENTY-TWO / SHE & HER ) ─ EVIE SPENCERS was seen at the church after the bus dropped us off, right? SHE is known by others as THE BUFFOON because of her HUMOROUS & KINDHEARTED ways, but people also say she’s LOUD & SARCASTIC. maybe that’ll change once she figures out what’s going on with the town she called home. EVIE only went on the trip because SHE WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM HER MOTHER, so god knows how she feels now. BELLY LAUGHTER, MAKING SILLY FACES TO CHEER SOMEONE UP & HOT CHOCOLATE WITH BIG MARSHMALLOWS can’t help them now… so for the time being, welcome to the unnamed.

PAST

born & raised in oldvale + the younger of 2

evie and her family were always tight ; father was as nurse & mother was an animator for an up and coming series on youtube and they were heads over heels in love with each other

her mother was always quite a strict parent. she tended to call herself the “bad guy” when she would say no to things & her father would say yes. her father, on the other hand, was more laid back. never took anything too seriously and had the ability to make someone smile with a single look ----- needless to say : evie took after her father. her mother even called her her father’s “mini me”

evie was a good girl. got good grades and never disobeyed her parents. she always apologized after having an argument with her sister and simply “ agreed to disagree ” instead of continuing

everything changed when, at age 15, evie got a phone call from a police officer in the middle of recess. she and her sister got to the hospital as soon as they could to meet the officer. to their shock and heartbreak, there was a car accident that involved their  parents and a drunk driver that hit them head on. they were in the emergency room for what seemed like an eternity. finally, the doctor came out and told her that her mother was going to be fine but --- her father was in critical condition. and that she and her sister should go in and say their good-byes. and so they did

everything seemed different after her dad’s passing. the air in their house was ... heavier. evie’s sister went through multiple depressive episodes and her mother started to drink more & evie heard her crying during the night ; honestly, she wasn’t sure if her mother was getting any sleep at all. you even once heard her speaking to a higher being. she said : “why him? why not me?” which absolutely broke evie’s heart

her mother was never the same after her love died. it was like a piece of her went with him. she was constantly on her daughter’s backs ; yelling and getting angry when things wouldn’t get done her way. she even went as far as to slapping evie’s older sister across the face when she tried standing up for them. it got to a point where evie was afraid of her mother

despite everything, evie stayed the same. she was still humorous and tried to keep the mood light. she did this as a way of honoring her father, in a way. to keep his silliness alive. sometimes it got on peoples nerves but she didn’t care. not one bit

in school, evie was pretty popular. not in a “ queen b ” sort of way but more like .... she was friends with everyone and never really fit in with just one clique. she loved this & loved being able to have a solid circle of friends

criminology was something that always interested evie & she spent countless hours watching true crime + missing persons cases. it was actually what evie ended up going to university to study

^^ but evie’s mother had a very set image of what she wanted to see her daughters do. she would always try to control every aspect of their life ; the clothes they wore, how they spoke, the activities they took part in. she even went as far as to picking jobs for them to choose from which was 1) doctor or nurse, 2) dentist or orthodontist or 3) a teacher which neither sibling wanted to do and when they told their mother, she was legit distraught. so much so that she threatened to kick them out. and so, evie allowed her mother to control her life. it wouldn’t be forever, after all

evie actually snuck behind her back and applied for a criminology major in university & she never told her mother about it. the whole time, her mother thought she was going to school to become a teacher

the last thing she told her mother was: “stay safe while we’re gone.”

PRESENT

not a day goes past that evie doesn’t think about her parents

she constantly makes jokes to keep everyone from being too afraid or panicking

evie also is trying to set up a “ game day ” to relief some stress ; some people don’t think it’s a good idea but she does

she ........... is very upset about being away from her mother. yes - part of her loathed her mother for trying to take control of her life but the woman was still her mother ; someone who lost the love of their life and evie couldn’t blame her mother for the way she changed. she wishes so badly to just hold her mother and apologize and thank her for everything she’d done

every night, evie has these “ talks ” with her father. she’ll just lay in bed and pretend she’s talking to her father ; talk about her day, how things are going. she even sometimes asks him if he knows where they are & how they all got there in hopes of hearing some kind of answer. but she never does

OTHER INFO

PINTEREST BOARD

evie was actually named after the pokemon : eevee .... because her father was a DIE HARD fan of the game but they had to make the spelling acceptable so "evie” it was

bisexual | enfp | ravenclaw | true neutral

pos traits : humorous, kindhearted & welcoming  neg traits : loud, sarcastic & clumsy

WANTED CONNECTIONS

best friends :: someone evie can trust ; someone who she can’t imagine her life without

enemies :: someone who gets on evie’s nerves ; someone who has a mutual disliking

crushes :: someone who gives evie butterflies ; someone who she wants to kiss

past hook ups :: someone evie has slept with ; someone she probably tries to avoid

fwb :: someone evie sleeps with occasionally

literally anYTHING AT ALL

annnnnnnd yeah ??? sorry this got so long omfg fdjkgsd ; hit me up if you feel like plotting with my babycakes , mwah

[youthblamed-a]

character sheet

BASICS.

full name.  maxim levi ilyichov pronunciation.   mak-sim lee-vigh il-yich-ov nickname.   goes by his middle name to those outside of his family for most of his youth because he thinks it’s easier for english folk to pronounce. his family ( and anyone else who’s very involved in his life outside of school ) often call him max, and he probably starts going by that as an adult, but he has no real preference for what people call him. may also sometimes use his mother’s maiden name ( blotts ) for the same reason gender.   male height.  5′11 age.   all of the ages but my threads usually end up being either around 17-19 or like 35 zodiac.   cancer ( and it shows ) spoken languages.   russian ( first ), english ( second )

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.   brown with copper undertones  eye colour.   dark brown skin tone.   on the paler side, but not notably pale.  body type.   very slender with decent muscle tone and long, long and limbs,  moderate hyperextension in the knees and elbows, naturally flexible spine accent.   british ( standard + a touch of east end london ) with a little hint of foreign-ness that is only audible sometimes and you probably wouldn’t be able to identify dominant hand.   right posture.   very natural, if that makes sense — straight and proud in the spine, but relaxed in the shoulders. he doesn’t use his posture to try to stand out or to blend in with the background, he just allows his body to exist in the space it takes up without too much thought tattoos.   a hummingbird ( his patronus ) on the left side of his ribcage, and a small, simple line tattoo of the golden gate bridge on the back of his right shoulder blade most noticeable feature.  cliche but his smile is quite radiant. other than that he lets his hair get a little long more often than not

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.   st. petersburg, russia ( at the time named leningrad ) hometown.  london.   manner of birth.   natural  siblings.   one brother older by two years, mikhail, who doesn’t lack kindness, but is much more cerebral and introverted.    parents.   isabella blotts and alexander ilyichov parental involvement.      he went to boarding school like apparently every witch and wizard, but otherwise, his family is pretty close-knit. though he’s close to both parents, levi is closest with his father, since they are both the emotional type, while his mother and older brother share a more intellectual bond. levi knows how lucky he is to have two parents who love and accept him unconditionally, and will often welcome people who aren’t so lucky to come home with him so that they can feel the love

ADULT LIFE.

occupation.   i’m still kind of figuring out how medicine fits into the wizarding world, but they must have something roughly equivalent to a family medical practitioner rather than having only the healers for emergencies that we see in the books,,, either way it’s still being figured out but he has some sort of hospital related career and then teaches medicine after that current residence.   depends on age but after he finishes school at hogwarts he stays lives in san francisco for the rest of his education before settling in another british city ( at the moment it’s edinburgh ) close friends.  still figuring that out lol, but if anyone wants to plot a close friendship, please let me know!! relationship status.   single / depends financial status.   middle class driver’s license.  yes, he gets it at 19 or 20 years old ( + also a license to apparate at 17 ) criminal record.   none but trespassing and class b drug possession should probably be on there vices.  an occasional-semi frequent smoker even though he’s very aware of how terrible it is for you

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. bisexual, like a kinsey 4 romantic orientation. ^ preferred emotional role.   submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  unknown preferred sexual role.   submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed ( whatever makes his partner happy ) libido.    average to high turn ons.   mostly emotional intimacy, lots of kissing and a good bit of eye contact where possible, and a tiny bit of having his hair petted/pulled, but he also does enjoy being bitten. he mostly enjoys sex that is loving + intense where he and his partner just get lost in each other ( even if they aren’t necessarily “in love” ) turn off’s.   tbh he’s pretty vanilla so a lot of things would freak him out especially if sprung upon him, like anything that involves causing genuine pain with an object that isn’t part of ur body, or anything involving uncertain/ambiguous consent either way. love language.   soft touches; small, silent favors that make his partner’s day better with no grand gesture; kisses behind the ear and on the back of the shoulder; devotion that doesn’t need to be spoken or flaunted; always holding hands; plenty of praise, but love that doesn’t need words to be expressed relationship tendencies.   always wants to be the caretaker/emotional protector of his relationships; usually the first one to say “I love you”; can sometimes struggle to differentiate between whether he’s feeling something platonic or romantic because he just has a lot of love for a lot of people; also can be very easily manipulated with the promise of love; tends to let the other person dictate the dynamic/speed/seriousness of the relationship - he’ll go with just about anything to please someone else

 MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song.  there are So Many but colourway by novo amor and holocene by on iver do a good job of capturing his energy (catch the whole playlists here) hobbies to pass the time.   he’s definitely the notebook keeping type, but they aren’t pretty lol, more just a collection of thoughts written very messily ( he might not even know what they say when he reads back on them ) in a mixture of languages, cut outs and photographs tucked between the pages, musical notation that he’ll probably never develop further, and bad ( b a d ) drawings. he also loves to fly, not only for quidditch but just to be in the air/around nature, and he’s alright but not well practiced at playing the piano. also just a total daydreamer.  mental illnesses.   none  physical illness.   needs glasses to read idk if that counts left or right brained.   probably left fears.  being unloved/unloveable, instability/loss of peace self confidence level.    for the most part, healthy + realistic. in terms of talents and abilities, he’s aware what he’s good at and what he could work on ( although that doesn’t necessarily move him to do anything about it ) . being incapable doesn’t concern him too much, but rather his insecurities instead center mostly around the fear of being an unlikeable person.

tagged by.   @kindheir​ (thank you sm!)  tagging.   not sure who’s done this but @pluscharmant @nikolacvnas  @wasntallbad @corpsepaintd  @hadncchoice  @murios ( for max and/or klaus ) @withoutchoice ( i had astoria or ginny in mind but for any of ur blogs!! ) anddddd i’m also tagging myself @prcdiigal 

[babbelcause]

11/11/11 Tag Game

I was tagged by @charlotteltracey, thank you, it’s a great game :) I’m not sure I know enough people to tag either x)  I’ll tag @fausthound, @semantictheory, @thegaylinguist, @mike-yams, @somehistoriancalledmike, @languageoficeandfire anyone who would like to join :)

Here are my answers:

1. What book have you reread the most?

I couldn’t tell!  It’s a tight race between the Harry Potter series, children’s books, and comics. 

In children’s books I re-read every now and then Claude Ponti’s George Le Banc -literally George the Bench-. It’s a short book about a day in the life of a park bench and the surreal events it witnesses. It’s tender, inventive and full of puns. The drawings are absolutely beautiful, intricate, and swarm with funny details. It’s the sort of book you can read several time and still notice new things. 

Honestly I lost count of how much I read Gotlib’s Rubrique à Brac, the Smurfs, or Gaston Lagaffe. I often think of Gaston’s adventure these days, as I too am a clumsy office junior in dire need of a creative outlet :p 

2. What was the last book you dropped and why?

I’ve dropped several non-fiction books lately because I don’t know how to read them : i want to retain as much information as possible but don’t really have the time and energy to ‘study’ the content in depth. There’s of course another category of books I dropped because I find them uninteresting, the latest was some story about some nurse or midwife in a Women’s health clinic setting. 

3. What is your current/most recent creative project?

I got myself a sewing machine in January and this afternoon I sawn cute little bags to wrap birthday presents. I’m quite satisfied with the result :) 

Aside from that, I have an on-going project of turning an old story of mine made of losely connected episodes into a full, coherent story. It’s slow, I don’t plan on showing it to anyone. I do it for my own pleasure, to toy with character design, characters archs, and to get back into writing as a hobby rather than an occasional activity.

4. What band/artist has you been listening to the most recently?

I got the chance to see Rodrigo y Gabriela in concert last week, which lead me to re-discover their music. It ended up giving me an earworm, which I’m currently trying to get rid of with copious amounts of Mark Knopfler’s music... 

5. Where do you most want to travel to?

New Zealand, for so many reasons! There’re lots of countries I’d like to see (again), but I already feel guilty enough about my carbon footprint...

6. Are you learning a language right now? If so which one and if not which would you like to learn?

I’m practicing my Dutch a lot these days, mostly at work. I’ve been getting a lot more fluent and confident (Talking! With a Dutch person! Over the phone!), and I’m still frustrated over my lack of small-talk abilities in that language. And I feel slightly smug when I see that coworkers 20 years my senior can barely string a sentence together

7. What is your favorite video game?

The Sims 2, definitely. Days and weeks of my life have been swallowed by that game. I downloaded content, built complex, multigenerational stories for the characters, wrote and followed new rules to make the game more interesting and challenging. I loved playing it, but I refrain from it these days because I know I can be so caught up in playing that I forget about everything else... and that’s not very good for my mental health

8. What are you most excited about in the near future?

Meeting friends I haven’t seen in aaaaaaaages!

9. What is a childhood nickname you had and how did you get it?

I never really got any nickname. Some of them were based on my actualy name but they never really caught. 

10. Who is your favorite fictional character?

Gaston Lagaffe, Antigone, Samwise Gamegee, Briony Tallis, Amy Santiago, die Marquise von O.,..  I don’t know, I don’t do favorite with characters, I love them for different reasons. 

11. If money were no object, what is the first thing you would buy?

A house in my parents’ street. I’m tired of living at my parents’ but my neighbourhood is a village and I love it with all my heart. 

Here are my questions :

If you could cook a dish to perfection, what would it be ?

Is there a book that no-one seems to love as much as you?

What’s the film everyone loved but you just couldn’t get into ?

Have you ever collected objects ?

If you had all the space and money you need, how many pets would you have and which ones ?

What’s the subject you don’t really understand but you wished you did ?

What skill would you like to have ?

What’s the latest interesting piece of information you learned at uni/work/doing your hobby ?

If you could be a fly on a wall and oberve without being seen, where would you go and why?

What new domain would you explore if you had the time and ressources for it?

A thing you feel everyone should know ?

[omg-puddingpie]

GET TO KNOW ME -

Thanks to @klauseconfessions for this lovely tag! :D I love feeling a part of these things whenever you include me! Like my idol has noticed me!

You have to make a simself and put whatever you wish on there. traits, about you stuff so we can get to know you lovely, beautiful people better! Please feel free to do it without the tag as well because I’m horrible with tagging and hate leaving anyone out. :3

questions

1. What is your full name? Chad

2. What is your nickname? Pinky, douchebag, Beaver, Pie

3. Birthday? January

4. What is your favorite book series? I don’t read very often. (I’m more into comic books) but I’ve always enjoyed John Gardner’s book ‘Grendel’, even before I knew how much this monster was cool and I’d even include in my drawings OR Sims game. XD

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? All of the. There has to be more in this world and there are evidence of both, so who knows?

6. Who is your favorite author? I honestly don’t have one but I love reading fanfictions. 

7. What is your favorite radio station? Hardrock, sometimes country and even the ‘oldies’ station. (70′s, 80′s, 90′s)

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Banana

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Cool beans

10. What is your current favorite song? Weezer’s take on ‘Africa’ by Toto. I’m in LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE with this song. (Even made it one of my sims’ dedicated love song to their significant other. XD XD)

11. What is your favorite word? Dipshit

12. What was the last song you listened to? Rob Zombie ‘Dragula’

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Castlevania, Breaking Bad, Supernatural

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Wizard of Oz and I’ll tell you why: Long story short, this is my mom’s favorite movie and when my siblings and I were kids, she always played this on Friday nights; we had popcorn, sodas, and a pizza while watching the movie. Now, as an adult, I watch it for the memories and it makes me happy. :3

15. Do you play video games? It’s an addiction really. XD

16. What is your biggest fear? Spiders. Bastards....

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drawing abilities, tbh.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I’m too ‘real’ but if you want my honest opinion, you’re going to get it. I don’t see this world through rose colored glasses.

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats

20. What is your favorite season? Winter

21. Are you in a relationship? Yes. Married and have children together, too.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Saturday morning cartoons, cereal and not having to worry about bills.

23. Who is your best friend? From the Sims community, @emmypess then there is my wife, kids and siblings.

24. What is your eye color? Natural is brown but I have these bluish gray contacts in at the moment. Goes good with the pink. XD

25. What is your hair color? Naturally brown, now it’s pink.

26. Who is someone you love? My wife and kids

27. Who is someone you trust? My wife, my family

28. Who is someone you think about often? Wife and kids and dinner for that night. XD XD

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Christmas, my upcoming birthday and what the New Year will bring. (Hoping for another baby!!)

30. What is your biggest obsession? Grendel and anything Supernatural

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Gargoyles. No lie

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My wife

33. Are you superstitious? Ooooooh yes!!

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Not really

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I’m stupid shy of photos. XD

36. What is your favorite hobby? Drawing, skateboarding and doing crafts with the kids.

37. What was the last book you read? ......Do comic books count? XD

38. What was the last movie you watched? The new Halloween movie. :3

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? .......My answer is a bit, ahem, adult but to be ‘serious’ I use to play the Violin as a kid.

40. What is your favorite animal? Capybaras

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I can not pick. I love seeing a diverse screen of all kinds of sims. You guys are awesome! :D

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Oh man, flying would be nice. 

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? At home with my wife and kids. I just love being around them. 

44. What makes you smile? My family, my addiction to games, drawings and my sims.

45. What sports do you play, if any? I skateboard, play Basketball and use to play Football in highschool.

46. What is your favorite drink? Dr. Pepper

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Psssssssh! I don’t know! XD

48. Are you afraid of heights? Yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? People who talk with their mouth full. I don’t need to see the Casserole you made last night, Susan. Fuck....

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Hell yes!

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? Nope

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A Veterinarian.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Shit, I’d love to hang out in Fabletown at the Trip Trap bar with my boi Gren and throw back a few. XD

54. What is something you worry about? I worry 100%. HARD not to when you have anxiety and constantly overthinking EVERYTHING! XD

55. Are you scared of the dark? Nope

56. Do you like to sing? Horribly but yes!

57. Have you ever skipped school? In high school, I ditched all the time. I’m STILL shocked I graduated on time. XD

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Oregon or LA

59. Where would you like to live? Away from Cali (which is literally on fire right now) and move to Oregon or even Alaska. No lie.

60. Do you have any pets? Yes! 3 Cats, a Dog and a Beta fish

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Early bird. Up at 3am! 0.O

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrise

63. Do you know how to drive? Yup

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

65. Have you ever had braces? No

66. What is your favorite genre of music? Rock

67. Who is your hero? My mom. She’s been such a strong individual and struggled for years to raise my siblings and I. I still don’t know how she did it but I’m forever in debt to her. She’s amazing.

68. Do you read comic books? Yes, yes, yes!!

69. What makes you the most angry? People who drive...so....slow. I’m not a speed demon but if you’re LOST, move the fuck over! XD

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? None? XD

71. What is your favorite subject in school? History or anything art related

72. Do you have any siblings? Yes! 4 sisters and one brother

73. What was the last thing you bought? The new Spyro Reignited game!!!!! My childhood!!! :D :D

74. How tall are you? 6′1″

75. Can you cook? I try but....it’s best if this dude stays OUT of the kitchen! XD

76. What are three things that you love? My family, my Sims, my life

77. What are three things that you hate? People who chew with food in their mouth, people who drive stupid slow or people who feel the need to advertise their business on Social media. No one cares that your period is heavy or you and your significant other are fighting. TMI.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Guys

79. What is your sexual orientation? Bi

80. Where do you currently live? California

81. Who was the last person you texted? One of my coworkers regarding Thanksgiving. We have a 4 day weekend!!! :D

82. When was the last time you cried? Laughing cry last night at my wife’s family’s house for an early Thanksgiving meal. I love her family. 

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? THINK his name is IamKevin. He plays a lot of the Sims games and the things he says....XD

84. Do you like to take selfies? NO! XD

85. What is your favorite app? This app fro my local grocery store, where I can scan coupons and what not! (I’m such an adult/daddy sometimes. XD)

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? My mom is wonderful but I’ve been estranged from my father for 7 years now. My choice and it’s been the best thing I could have ever done.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? Portuguese, English, Spanish

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Ireland

89. What is your favorite number? 69. :P

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? Yes

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer Space

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? In high school, yes. Not so much now.

94. Are you allergic to anything? This poor air quality lingering over California! XD

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Almost never but then it ends up biting me in the ass.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Life is too short for drama. If it causes you stress, perhaps it’s time to either cut ties or fix it. Your health and mentality is never worth it, especially when you have others who depend on you. 

100. Are you a good liar? Nope

101. What is your Hogwarts House? I’m not much for Harry Potter, tbh.

102. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes! XD

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No

105. Do you believe in second chances? It depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? that’s hard, tbh. We ALL wanna say we’d turn it in but I’ve seen those people turn in the wallet but keep the money sooooo....it’s hard to say. 

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Depends

108. Are you ticklish? Kind of

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes

110. Do you have any piercings? Yes

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Grendel from The Wolf Among Us. I’d LOVE to drink with this guy! XD XD

112. Do you have any tattoos? Yup

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Making my life much better.

114. Do you believe in karma? Yup

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? contacts

116. Do you want children? I’d like more!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My sister

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Too many! XD

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup

120. What color are most of you clothes? Red, Black and brown

121. Do you like adventures? YES!!!

122. Have you ever been on TV? No

123. How old are you? Going to be 30

124. What is your favorite quote? Never have regrets because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted. 

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Salty!!