#i lost four (4) items in the past 2 years

[cimicherrychanga]

im not fucking okay !!

[ursawastricked]

Distracting: Part 5

The Sun Chaser: An annual, 24 hour work day in the lab, used to catch up on any missed work time from the past year..and this is your first year joining Viktor and Jayce for it..armed with an ungodly amount of caffeine, excitement for time with his lab partners, and a crippling sense of shame for his newly found intimate thoughts of you, Viktor will try and make it through an entire day without thinking of you in that way again..at least not with you realizing..

Wordcount: 3,366

WARNINGS: Alcohol, mention of sexual acts, but mostly fluff and light flirting so have fun! part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

After another long shower, the third one that night, washing, rewashing, trying to scrub away any of shame that still coated the extent of his being. It had soaked far below his skin however, and had settled somewhere in his stomach, somewhere he couldn't run over with a loofa. But he would be damned if he didn't try. He stood in the kitchen, towel wrapped around his shoulders as he poked at some over cooked eggs on his plate, making every attempt to eat them as fast as possible after they had made a particularly squishy sound, and only further added to his shame. Oh that awful noise,

“Viktor, are you crying over your eggs?” Jayce asked, leaning on the counter edge, successfully getting Viktors attention as he had been hunched over, head in his hands for about five minutes at this point.

“What? No..just thinking” Viktor replied..in all fairness it was not a lie. He wished it was, because honestly not thinking right about now would probably save what was left of his sanity. He glanced at Jayce, taking what he realized was a coffee being offered to him, an offering he eagerly consumed, hoping it would jolt his brain into working order.

“Are you getting excited?” “For what?” “The Sun Chaser..” Jayce spoke the words like it was a legend, and in a way, it was.

The Sun Chaser, an annual tradition in The Hextech Lab. It was one, twenty-four hour work day, no sleep, non-stop make-up day, to push themselves ahead just a little bit and catch up on any work time lost over the last year. It was a night filled with workshopping, junk food, drinks..an ungodly and probably severely unhealthy amount of caffeine. But it was one of the pair's favorite nights of the year. The mixture of constant work, and sleep deprivation always made for a good time, lots of bonding, not to mention many many hours of laughing at jokes that probably aren't actually very funny.

“The Sun Chaser? Is that tonight?”

“Tomorrow, we have to prep Vik” Jayce chuckled, patting his shoulder and shaking Viktor a bit. “So you should get dressed, we need to go shopping. Here I made the list for this year,” Viktor glanced at Jayce, who held out a small folded paper, which he promptly plucked from his hand. He hummed to himself as he unfolded the paper, glancing over it for a little sneak peak into tomorrow's events. “Energy drinks, instant coffee, pastries, sweet milk,” he sighed constantly, already excited for that last item. “Booze, lemon juice..salt..what is all this extra stuff Jayce? Why would we need booze, a-and lemon juice?” “Oh,” Jayce blinked, uttering your name under his breath. “Yes..what abo-” Viktors sentence stopped in his throat..of course. You will be there tomorrow too. Of course you would, how on earth did he forget, “And..they asked for this? Why?” “Why said something about how booze would be fun as it got later, lemon for a chaser, and salt for before.” “They want to do shots?” “Sounds like it..oooo maybe they want to try body shots-” Viktor was quick to stop that idea, with a swift hard kick to Jayces leg. “OW!” Jayce howled out, quickly following it with a loud laugh as he saw that Viktor was now covering his head, shielding his entire upper body against the counter top.

“Oh this is going to be the best year yet!” Jayce cheered, shaking Viktor hard  by the shoulders with a loud huff of excitement.

The clock rang twelve o'clock, and with it Jayce banged an obnoxious fake gong with a loud howl into the empty lab, you followed suit with your own, egging Viktor join in as well before you all took one long sip from individual mugs of coffee. The usual starting ritual for this thing, with one extra person this time around. “Hell yeah! Let's do this!” You call, quickly rushing to your notes and starting immediately, Viktor laughed, watching as you scattered away and quickly began his own work. A very pleasant beginning to the Sun Chaser.

Five hours in,

“Viktor! Viktor, can you come help me with something?” You asked, holding together two wires, observing how they resulted in a small spark. You heard the familiar click of Viktors cane against the floor before you felt the warm sensation of his body leaned over your shoulder looking down at your work. “What is it?” He asked, glancing down at your current project. You turn to meet his gaze, finding him much closer than you already had expected. He met your gaze, about half an inch between yourselves. Your cheeks grow warm, your mind stalling a little in its tracks as you watch his face stare back, maybe a little more surprised than you. He cleared his throat, catching your attention away from where it had settled on his lips. You flicker your gaze back to the device you have noticed was now smoking just a little from the unstable wires touching. “Oh shit..” You mutter, ceasing the connection. From next to your ear you hear the familiar sound of Viktors chuckle, right before he reaches over into the device.

“I see..You need me to hold these while you weld them together?” He assumed, but you again were not paying any attention, your mind a bit foggy from the smell of Viktors collogne wafting off of him. “Yes..” You whisper, finding yourself out of breath. You try again, inhaling and rephrasing the reply “Yes, you need to hold them for me okay? D-don't get burnt alright?” You remind him. And again you fight away a shiver when you can feel his chest rumble with laughter behind you.

Needless to say it took about ten minutes to finish the melding of the wire, all the while Jayce sat back in his chair, watching you with a familiar smirk. “Cute..” He muttered to himself, writing down a note in a little black notebook.

Nine hours in

You were eating your dinner quietly, a moment of shared silence while you took a much needed break. Viktor had taken liberties with the word “break”, hence why he was currently jotting down a theory he had in an almost full book of notes. But then the slightest movement caught his eye. He turned his head to look toward you, catching the tail end of your shiver.

He watched as you brought your hands up to your bare arms, rubbing them for some needed friction, the slightest bit of warmth. And before he could think too much about it he walks over, coat in hand before tapping your shoulder,

“Are you cold, děcko?” he asked, putting a hand on the back of your chair. You barely lift your head from your food to give him a little groan, rubbing your arms a little more furiously. “It's cold..” You reply quietly, resulting in a soft smile from  Viktor. He nudged you with his coat, offering it to you,

“Here, until the heat comes on '' he said quietly, handing you the coat which to your credit, you stole away faster than he expected. In nearly half a minute you stood in front of him, hugging the coat around your form. It fit around you rather well in all honesty..but god this was a mistake.

Your body was perfectly tucked within something of his..he could feel his stomach tightening. And with the length of the fabric, it almost looked like you were not wearing anything under it- he needed to walk away. And so without a word, he walked away, very fast, to the bathroom, leaving you to settle back into your chair with a new found sense of warmth. Meanwhile, Viktor took the next fifteen minutes to try and cool down in the locked bathroom. Fifteen hours in

“Okay, okay, best shitty pick up line go!” You were all sitting around, about two shots in each. Jayce pointed to you first, “Go go go!” he chanted, watching as you chased your shot with an energy drink.You coughed a bit, tapping your chin as you tried to pick one, “OOOh I have it ok..” You turn to face Viktor, giving him a lightly goofy smirk, one you couldn't hold without giggling, “hey Vik..are you a triangle? Because, you would be acute one,”“What?” Viktor chuckled, watching as you nearly lost your mind giggling, leaning back against the floor as he began to mirror your giggles, “That..truly was terrible.” He sighed, sipping his drink and leaning back against his hands and watching as you began to wildly gesture to Jayce,“Ok now you! You go!” Jayce jumped at the idea, and quickly grabbed Viktor by the shoulder to get his attention, “Viktoooor..” Vik lazily turned his face toward his lab partner, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. “Do you have a bandage?” “No..why Jayce?” “Because I scraped my knee..falling for you~” Jayce cooed, leaning closer and swiftly giving Vik a kiss on the forehead before he pulled away, the three of you all bursting into tired laughter. Viktor took a brief moment, watching as you held your aching stomach, your hair splayed out on the ground around you like a halo..he couldn't begin to think about how pretty you were before Jayce caught his attention again. “Ok, Viktor..your turn. Best, shitty pick up line..go”  Viktor blinked, trying to filter through any he had heard, at this point his memory was a little foggy, and now with booze in his body, he was having a harder time thinking of any he would consider particularly"shitty ".He grabbed hold of your forearm, with a little effort, hoisting you back up into a sitting position. You snickered lightly, leaning closer as he kept a firm hold on your arm, gazing into your eyes with a passion that had your belly fluttering. “You look familiar..did we have class together?” He asked, his accent thick and breath smelling of the rum you had been sharing. You give one soft chuckle, tilting your head in prep for the rest of this surely crappy punny joke, “Because I swear..” He leaned a little closer, your nose scrunched..but you didn't pull away, “we had chemistry.” He hummed, drawing out the end of the word a little and leaning close enough that your noses brushed briefly, right before he pulled back. You felt your cheeks burn, and you stared forward at him as he took a leisure sip of his mostly empty drink. His gaze flickered off you, toward Jayce who groaned loudly, “BOOOOOOOO!” “What?” “BOO that was gold, I said shitty!” Jayce protested, sending you to his side of the argument, “Yeah that was so good! BOO!” Viktor laughed, putting his hands up to defend when you tossed an empty can toward him, weak enough that it just bounced off him. Jayce watched as you both continued your little scuffle, a few kitten bats here and there as you debated what exactly made a pick up line, a good one. He quietly jotted down another little note, smiling softly to himself when he caught You and Viktor leaned over, laughing toward each other, your hand using his shoulder to support yourself.

Twenty hours in

Viktor was so exhausted at this point. His mind was barely functioning at this point, so he was working on auto-pilot, which meant only his hands and eyes worked in full. That's probably why when you asked him if he had an extra screw, he didn't respond in english..not fully. It was a mix of his mother tongue and a few english words half slurred in there. “What?” you giggle, leaning closer. He lazily leaned sideways to hear you better, “Hm? jenom chvilku..I will..” He sputtered off after that. You chuckle slightly, stealing some of his empty cans of soda away so you could sit closer on the desk. “Jenom..” You try to repeat. Viktors brain gets the little spark it needs, one that brings a little more consciousness to him and he turns to look at you, still tucked in his sweater and leaning a few inches away from touching him. “What was that?” He asked, putting a hand on your head to keep it from laying on his shoulder..at this rate he knew it would completely turn his brain off if he could smell your hair. “I'm trying to speak your language. You sometimes mutter under your breath while you're working, and it always sounds really pretty.” “Well, your accent is atrocious..” He chuckles, resting his cheek against his hand as he watches you mirror his posture again..it was becoming one of his favorite of your habits. “You need to stop enunciating so harshly..Jenom. Chvilku” He purred, saying the words slowly for you to repeat. “Jenom chvilku,” you chuckle, trying to mimic his accent. “What does that mean? Does it mean something pretty?” Viktor shakes his head slowly, his smile plastered on his face as he watches you exhausted form slump over the desk, “It means ‘just a moment’,” he replied, “something pretty would be ‘něco hezkého’, if you meant that literally” “I didn’t, but that still sounded nice” you mutter, smiling toward him. At this point the sun had risen again, but Viktor in his ever nocturnal nature had drawn the curtains, allowing for the softest golden glow to invade the lab. The gold color played well of Viktors features, his chiseled cheekbones glowing lighty, and his eyes almost the color of the lighting..it was warm and soft, sending a buzzing feeling into your chest. One you were only partly aware of how mutual the feeling was. “Do you want me to keep talking?” He asked, bringing his hands back to his work. His gaze flicked between yours and and his project,“Yes please,,” You mutter, resting your head on your folded arms, watching as he fiddles with the machine, letting his voice filter through your brain and numbing it beautifully.

Twenty-four hours in

You were out. Your head was heavy against the desk, your chest rising and falling in a calming rhythm, one that Viktor had been observing for the past hour. A full day of working had passed, just about, and he had finished all he needed too, even fixing one or two of your projects up for you after you had fallen asleep. Jayce was sprawled out on the couch, watching the clock and trying to finish his calculations. Though he had made sure to keep check on you and vik as he worked. Viktor was slumped over the desk, watching you sleep lazily, a dumb smile on his face as he fiddled quietly with your relaxed hand still laid out on the desk. He was gentle..simply fluttering your fingertips under his, experimentally brushing them against your palm from time to time. Your skin was soft, and while your cheek was flushed with exhaustion, all he could do was focus on how lovely you looked. The sun had snuck its way into the lab, and dotted along the desk, warming your skin and highlighting the shine in your hair. It was bliss, the kind that had him humming a little song from his home, imagining that he was singing to keep you asleep. It was a brief moment, a perfect ending to the long day in his humble, love sick, opinion.“Watches her sleep..” Jayce muttered, scratching down the note in his book. Viktor raised his head, swiveling it toward his lab partner to see him jotting down something again.“What? What are you doing?” “Adding to my list,” Jayce replied simply, giving Viktor an innocent look..one Vik was able to see past instantly. “What list..” He muttered, standing and taking a firm hold on his cane as he limped closer. Jayce chuckled, hiding away the contents of the notebook like a teen girl hid her diary, “It's private! Kinda, if you still wanna play the clueless act” He laughed, leaning away as Viktor went in to snatch it from him eagerly. The boys played this game for a few minutes, one minute Jayce offering the book, before pulling it away again and adding to an ever more impatient Viktor, who was now too curious to let something like this go. “You have been writing in this thing for the whole day-” “I've been writing in it way longer than that,” “How long?” “I don't know, a few months?” Jayce shrugged, trying to do the math with what little was left in his tired brain, that is when Viktor was able to steal away the notes, snatching them and leaning away from a weak attempt to get them back. He flicked open the small book, reading the first few lines, “What could you possibly be taking note of? ‘Pointed out a bruise on their thigh’, ‘fixed his hair’, Jayce what is thi-” Viktor lost his words half way through, his tongue feeling heavy as his overworked head began to place memories together..notes..he was nothing interacts between you two? Why? How many things have been written down? His eyes widened, ‘spent the entire party staring at them, and then stole a champagne glass they used’. His cheeks flushed, a mix of rage and embarrassment filling his exhausted body almost enough to spill over and lash out if his weak body would allow it. “Y..you have been taking notes? Why?”

“Research..thought you would wanna keep track of each little detail for later” “Jayce this is improper! Taking notes on my interactions?” “Theirs too,” Jayce corrected, watching as Viktor gave him a confused look, he pointed to the index on the first page, “Red is interactions you initiated, blue is when they initiated”

Vik looked  at the pages, flicking through them quickly and indeed..seeing a mix of red and blue scrawled across the pages expances.He took a brief moment to read over some, ‘Stared at Viktor while he tested the Hexclaw’, ‘Asked if Viktor liked milk in his tea’ His cheeks flushed lightly, flicking through a few more pages before the pair heard you stirring at the desk.

Your head felt heavy, like it was full of rocks. Not only that, but your ears rung, as your eyes watered in protest of your current consciousness. It was not a good idea to be awake right now, however you had found that a desk was not a comfortable place to rest, despite how cozy Viktor seemed to make it look.

“Guys..? Is it over? Did we do it?” you ask, turning your head to look at your lab partners. You for a brief moment can't make out what is happening, seeing only a blur as Jayce struggles to his feet, and Viktor hurries to put his hand in his pocket. When your vision clears, you see them looking at you, a little too surprised for your liking. “What..?”

“Uh..nothing! Nothing! Just..packing up” Viktor barks out, rushing to grab the things still left on his desk. Jayce follows suit, packing his bag at a speed that leaves you trying to catch up,

“OH!” Jayce suddenly pipes up, interrupting as you try to wrestle your notebook into your bag, “You're still sleeping over at our place today right?” He asked. Viktor froze..his hands stalling over the zipper on his satchel as his mind tried to double check what he was hearing. ‘Sleeping over…at our place’..

Fuck. 

You were. 

Two days ago, while planning for The Sun Chaser with you, Jayce had offered for you to crash at their shared apartment the day after, seeing that your apartment was much further from the lab, it would be best to sleep in their apartment and not risk passing out on the way home.

“Yeah! I got my pajamas packed and ready in my bag!” You reply, smiling as you start to make your way to the door, following close behind an exhausted Jayce, and behind you..a much more awake Viktor.

A very awake, and very screwed Viktor.

TEEHEE HEE thank you for reading part 5 HEHEHEHEHEHEHHE, oooo shits going down next time gang, bro cant find his shit anymore @zaunitearchives @astralkiss @mackbethart @theseuscloud @g4l4xy-qu33n @ears-queers-gears-n-fears @thymesoup @cheeriecherrymain​ @saumspam​

[wraithwars]

remake of my first post using @arisenreborn's wonderful arisen & pawn questionnaire. both characters changed enough that i felt like i had to redo this & will possibly be posting a more detailed character sheet for them in the future. <3

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Valkyrie AGE: 22 RACE: Human PRONOUNS: She/Her/Hers PREFERRED VOCATION: Warfarer FAVORED GIFTS: Anything handcrafted, practical items & books FAMILY: Likely Deceased Parents, Sid (Adoptive Father)

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Determined, Curious, Willful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Impulsive, Nosy LIKES: Exploration, Sunny Days, Learning new things DISLIKES: Uncontrolled Fires, Rich People (the self-serving, greedy kind), Goblins

1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?

At ten years old, Valkyrie was found hiding in the recently razed village of Great Oak by a traveling merchant named Sid. She doesn't quite recall her life before, flashes of it sometimes reaching her, but whether she was repressing the memories or simply couldn't process them, she finds herself unable to stay fixated in the past. With Sid's help, she soon leaves it behind entirely and begins to forge a new path.

Perhaps it was because people knew of the tragedy that befell Sid before meeting Valkyrie, how goblins had taken the lives of his wife and son, but no one questioned the girl's arrival and welcomed her to the village with open arms. There she was raised by the community. She learned to cook, to hunt, and even to run Sid's shop while he was away. And as she grew older she developed a penchant for magic and even herbology.

By the time she was thirteen, she felt fully acclimated to her new life and even began to refer to Sid as her father. Though she still startled at the sight of flames and suffered from the occasional nightmare, she now felt safe. And for Sid, he made peace with the losses he suffered, knowing they were guiding him every step of the way as he raised this girl.

As she got older, Sid's health began to decline. Apothecaries and doctors were baffled, unable to find a cause or a cure, and as time went on Valkyrie found herself filling more of his roles within the village. By seventeen, she was running his shop full-time by day and at night, taking care of him. Were it not for the community of people helping her, they surely would have lost the shop and fallen into poverty.

At age eighteen, she finds Sid had passed in his sleep.

She shortly after relinquishes ownership of the shop to a trusted friend and leaves the village behind, unable to handle the reminder every nook and cranny held. Instead, she decides to travel like she always dreamed of and learn more of the world, hopefully finding purpose along the way.

Four years later, she finds herself in Melve enveloped in flame and a stillness in her chest.

2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it? A gnawing preemptive guilt follows Valkyrie on her journey, no matter the amount of days that pass by. She's afraid she won't be able to save everyone, that her adventure will be packed with perilous missions and insurmountable obstacles. Despite this, she's still determined to try, unwilling to fail as Arisens before her had.

3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general? Valkyrie only met a few pawns in her lifetime, but Sid always described them as a helpful people. Even when she loses her memories, she still holds them with the same respect she would anyone else and never treats them as less then. She even becomes a bit overprotective of them after learning how they are sometimes treated by others. Also, the scholar in her is just generally fascinated in their existence and ability to travel to other worlds.

4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn? Valkyrie is a bit awkward with Nolan at first. She had never been a leader nor felt the inclination to be one, so when she was suddenly forced into the role it felt out of place. There wasn't much confidence in her decisions, and she felt rather guilty that he was stuck by her side.

As her confidence and abilities grow, she sees Nolan as her rock and her perfect counterpart, in fighting style and personality. He keeps her grounded, and she gives him purpose. Soon she finds herself unable and unwilling to be without him.

5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general? The idea of being Sovran makes Valkyrie throw up in her mouth, but when she sees how shady those in charge are, she's willing to fill the role if it means protecting the people. But she secretly hopes Sven takes up the mantle. Politics had never been her favorite.

6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends? Ulrika is the first friend Valkyrie had made after leaving her home, and though she no longer holds any memories of her prior to the fell curse, she still finds herself feeling calm in her presence. In the beginning, a lot of her will to move forward was powered by Ulrika's own dedication to protecting the people of Melve and her aid in nursing Valkyrie back to health.

Occasionally, Valkyrie stops by Melve solely to visit Ulrika and they often talk for hours. Ulrika is by far her biggest supporter, and their bond is only strength when she takes up the mantle of Arisen.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie didn't really think of Sven when she first met him, the newfound role of Arisen dominating her thoughts, but after she discovers he's the regentkin she grows rather curious of his intentions. At first she's skeptical, assuming the worst and that Sven was simply there to lay out another trap for her. But as he shows himself to be genuine, she slowly lets down her guard and opens up to the prospect of being allies.

He inadvertently becomes one of her advisors, offering support and any aid he's able to provide without drawing his mother's attention. And sometimes a shoulder to cry on when she feels overwhelmed and not up for the task set before her. On occasion, she also takes the time to tell him tales of her adventures and frequently gifts him little bits and baubles she acquired along the way.

She feels very grateful to consider him a friend.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie would be bit embarrassed to admit that she was enchanted by Srail at first sight. Initially, he had rescued her from a rampaging minotaur that had taken out her entire party. She attempted to flee and right before the strike of the club, she was yanked through a thin crevice between the crags and led to the village to recover. Though he was still posing as a traveling merchant, his untimely rescue had her flustered, something she chalked up to nerves.

The second time she meets him, she knows it isn't just nerves. While she felt like a fool for not seeing through his act, she couldn't help but see him a positive light. For one, he had believed she was the true Arisen with little convincing (the driving force behind his rescue), and then he aided her once again with information on Darragh. His helpful nature only served to amplify her captivation.

Perhaps, it was due to everyone demanding her help, yet for the first time someone had been helping her. And even when Srail later appears in Vernworth requesting her aid with a heist, she doesn't hesitate to agree, eager to repay a debt. After this event, they remain in contact, and she truly values his company.

Although she had good people in her corner, he was one of the few that didn't judge her for thoughts that often wracked her with guilt. Thoughts of abandoning her quest, letting someone else assume the mantle (they both knew she wouldn't let that happen), her developing distaste for always being the one at the rescue. He understood, sympathizing with her plight, and occasionally, he would simply offer comfort.

Valkyrie winds up developing fairly potent feelings for the thief, but fearing what's to come prevents her from taking the first step. She does let the truth slip after rescuing him from the dragon though.

(Has other important friends/bonds such as Brant and Glyndwr but that may have to be a separate post.)

7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it? Valkyrie was already an eager student, so learning bits and pieces from different vocations simply came natural to her. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling? Aside from reading, Valkyrie is an avid lover of music and sometimes will visit the pub simply to listen. She also enjoys writing, often detailing her adventures within journals and even wrote, and continues to write, a comprehensive guide on survival and fighting beasts.

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Nolan AGE: ???? RACE: Humanoid Pawn PRONOUNS: He/Him/His PREFERRED VOCATION: Fighter FAVORED GIFTS: In love with almost anything gifted to him due to never receiving any, but has a special fondness for baked goods and new armor/clothes INCLINATION: Kindhearted

POSITIVE TRAITS: Alert, Kind, Dedicated, Compassionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, Socially Awkward (often comes off as intimidating despite being a teddy bear), Self-destructive LIKES: Animals, Sculptures/Statues, Victories in Difficult Battles DISLIKES: The Cold, Sleeping in Beds, Bandits

1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen? If he had access to the emotional range he gained after the fact, he'd say his life prior was bleak. Wandering aimlessly until an Arisen had need of him was a given. He would often travel along main roads, engaging in battles he'd happen upon with a near-unusual vigor. But otherwise, he felt positively neutral about his day-to-day.

But then he happened upon bandits. It was so strange to him how, despite it happening so long ago, it came back to haunt him just as he was slowly developing emotions. He remembered being captured and toyed with for amusement, the bandits possessing a clear distaste for pawns. And whenever he would get back up they would strike him down just as hard. If he could have felt anything back then, he thinks he would have felt fear and rage. Both at knowing there was nothing he could do stop them.

2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship? Valkyrie was the first to ever to provide him comfort, to speak to him so kindly, and support his ambitions even as they became different from her own. She was the first to drape a blanket over his shoulders, to call out his name in a worried panic and fret over his wounds while tending to them.

So it doesn't take long into their journey for Nolan to find himself entirely devoted to her. And while true in more fate-bound a sense, he feels as if she is his other half. Similar to her, the idea of being separated is not a pleasant one and she often finds herself with an imposing shadow at her heels.

The original intention of their dynamic was meant to be master and their pawn. However, Nolan feels as more of an equal to her and is treated as such. But he still feels a beaming pride at being her chosen.

3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?) While Valkyrie is smart, she's not much of a planner so as battle-driven as he can be he finds himself in them before he even realizes it. He often chastises her recklessness and frequently finds himself reigning her in before she gets into trouble.

He also notices she doesn't have the best view of herself. Knowing it's something she can only truly fix herself, he still offers daily encouragements and compliments. Even if they leave her flustered.

4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set? Surprisingly, Nolan takes to learning Elvish rather easily. Outside of Valkyrie, his first non-fate guided friendship was with Glyndwr. The elf is one of the few that can handle his constant barrage of questions and is often met with inquiries in return. He already knew a bit of the language but practices it more intently in order to converse with his friend in their mothertongue.

5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated? Politics generally confuse and hold little interest to him, but as he gains access to a wider arrange of emotions, he does develop certain views on how pawns are treated. He mirrors his Arisen's disgust at the mistreatment in areas such as Bakbattahl and generally finds himself confounded as to where the hatred stemmed from.

He often thinks about that day with the bandits and during the coronation of the false Arisen, and he would not wish that on any pawn, no matter the morality of their master.

6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how? Nolan was virtually mute before meeting her. He had no reason to speak, so he simply didn't. She helps him find his voice. There's no pressure to do so, but she often gives him little reasons, such as asking his opinion on something or simply engaging in small talk. Soon, he finds himself speaking without needing a reason, and that oddly provides him comfort.

7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation? Nolan is very battle-driven and finds his biggest thrills come from downing imposing foes. And to inflicting as much damage as possible. Though a warrior may be better suited, he likes the ability to protect. (So he protecc and he attacc.) His favorite combination. Also, sliding down hills is easier with a shield.

8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times? Nolan will try every hobby at least once while on his path to self-discovery, but he finds whittling to particularly relaxing and a source of pride for him as his skill increases. He often gifts little whittled creatures to friends he makes along the way. Were they to have the resources, he dreams of making a sculpture. For now though, he's content with smaller projects.

He also finds himself taking in the sights when they stop in major settlements, struck by the beauty of it. Really, he's an artist in a fighter's body. Aside from that, slowly transitioning into the more social one, he enjoys meeting and befriending new people--especially if he had no help from the Arisen in doing so.

[themothsnest]

For as much shit as i (privately) give the local kids due to experiencing more than 12 overstimulation meltdowns due to screeching children in the past 3 years after going most of my life with only 1 or 2 every few years due to being a very indoorsy autism creature

One of the 4 is loud but not a dog whistle squealer and we found out he's moving soon and earlier on got confirmation that he has ADHD so I'm a bit more tolerant since he's a good kid who just puts the hyperactivity in ADHD a bit too much

He also gets bullied by the squealers a lot cuz they are bratty kids

Anyway!

I recently got some Pokémon cards cuz I'm a gremlin that likes to collect things and am finally in a position where i can occasionally indulge the crow braincell and my autistic ass forgot to brain to mouth filter while the kid's mother stopped by for a quick chat not long after i opened my first elite trainer box cuz she mentioned he struggles with making friends due to being seen as weird (due to being neurospicy we all know this story too well) and i ended up piping up about how she could probably get him to talk to me about Pokémon as a last resort since we both liked Pokémon and were both neurospicy (granted its opposite ends of the spectrum)

Fast forward a few days to today and ive completely forgotten this interaction happened cuz i had a dentist appointment and some strong painkillers

8:20am theres a knock on the door and it turns out that it was the kid coming over to drop of a little stack of Pokémon cards for me since his mother obviously mentioned it to him and had wanted him to do a little organisation of his cards before they moved

I decided to keep these cards separate from my tiny collection so they dont get lost as the collection grows since im planning to treat myself to 3 more elite trainer boxes this Christmas and organise my cards in small stacks based on the card type (item, trainer, energy etc)

The funny thing? I never mentioned which mons were my favourites and Bulu is my favourite of the four Tapus due to it's lore (Koko and Fini are a close tied second due to their shinies) so it's pure chance that a Tapu Bulu GX was in the stack

Hopefully life treats the kid better cuz secondary school bullying is nasty around here if you aren't one of the "in crowd" with being neurodivergent resulting in it being even worse and he's already had some shit due to bullies going way too far

Might see if i can find some new Bluetooth headphones before the end of this month to replace my 8 year old pair though because the footballs hitting fences and all the squealing is very unpleasant for me due to my sensitive hearing and i quite like the idea of not having to deal with yet another set of 4 overstim meltdowns this summer

[everyonesmadshere]

procrastination (or: how I became the benevolent god of a small island village)

Lately, I’ve gotten back into the Virtual Villagers franchise. If you’re unfamiliar with it, each game follows the same basic storyline: you’re on an island. Or, more accurately, your villagers are on an island. In some games, you get to select your villagers. In others, they’re completely random. Either way, your goal is to help your village thrive while uncovering the secrets and mysteries of the island.

I used to play the games a lot as a child; it was sort of my ‘thing’ with my dad, and for that reason Virtual Villagers 2: The Lost Children will always hold a special place in my heart. I have fond memories of checking my iPod (a relic of the past!) with him, begging my dad for tips to advance the storyline. Eventually, I completed the game; he stopped playing and I moved on to the other additions to the franchise on my own.

I must’ve completed each game multiple times by now, and therein lies the problem: after the first playthrough, it’s not a challenge any more. You already know how to solve all the puzzles. So I decided to speed run it; which, when you’re playing an idle game, is no easy task. Nevertheless, I managed it; after several tries, I managed to get my completion time down to 3-4 days which I’d say is a huge improvement considering how it had taken me a month my first try. Over the years, I imposed several challenges on myself with every playthrough: make every villager master every skill, start the game with only children, selectively breed for only one hair color, and more.

I got pretty good at the games, but then I went on a break for the past few years. However, the hiatus ends today! This morning, I redownloaded Virtual Villagers 4: The Tree of Life, and that’s when I had a sudden epiphany regarding villager selection.

Only adults can work in the games, and you need workers so that your village doesn’t, y’know, starve to death. However, you also need children, since only kids are able to pick up the collectible items. For a while, in the villager selection, I’d always pick four adults, each one with preexisting experience in one of the skills, and a child. But that comes with its own set of problems. Until the kid grows up, you only have four working adults. In the beginning, you need all of them to work in order to establish a steady food supply, so you can’t produce more kids until later on. Because of this, it’s in your best interest to pick a kid that’s as young as possible, so that you have more years where you can collect items.

But that’s when an idea struck me! What if I just picked pregnant women? Sure, I’d have to wait two years of in-game time before the kids would be available for me to use, but after that, I’d have five(!!!) working adults and two(!!!) free kids! So I selected a team of two fifteen year olds (the younger the villager, the better; that way, they can work for longer before they die), two pregnant women, and one adult (with building skill). It wasn’t until later that I realized how ridiculous this looked.

So the premise of this particular game is that the island is dying, so the village decides to send out a team of explorers to investigate. They find the titular Tree of Life and then establish their own village there as they try to nurse the tree back to health. (If only I was as good in real life at healing plants as I am in this game.)

The explorers in question are two teenagers and two pregnant women. Sure, there’s one responsible adult who can work, but who in their right mind would send this kind of team out? But it’d be fine, I reasoned. It’d look silly in-universe, but I knew what I was doing.

I mean, look at them now! They’re thriving!

I have to confess, I got a little attached to them. I have a favorite villager and everything!

I’ve been trying to speed run it again, and that’s when I realized something else: the game progresses a lot faster while you’re actively in it. It’s supposed to be an idle game, but while you have the app open, the percentage of completion on each building actually goes up a lot more quickly.

That’s where the procrastination comes in. Rather than doing my work, I instead controlled their every action for several hours. They’d also move a lot faster, I reasoned, if I just dragged and dropped them to their next location as soon as they were done completing one task. And it paid off! In about 12 hours after first downloading the game, I already completed a majority of the puzzles.

I feel a bit like a micromanager, but hey, if it lets me beat a personal record, I’m all for it!

In the meantime, my homework (and my villagers’ personal autonomy) will have to wait.

[enchantedblackrose]

All the Pieces Pt 3

Gif not mine. Full credit to the owner. Taken from Google Images

All the Pieces

Sirius Black/Fem Reader

Warnings: unedited, mild language, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of underage drinking, small mention of bullying. Lengthy author's notes at the end. Also this was a huge PIA to write so hopefully it doesn't read too disconnected

Part 1|| Part 2|| Part 4|| Part 5

Part 3 of ?

When you touch me gently I remember how you know And the sun shines rings around your smile And I'm here laughing like a child -Pieces, Dan Powell

If it was any other person on your doorstep, you'd probably berate them for inducing that almost heart attack you just experienced. Instead you grab the familiar face by the sleeve of his worn jacket, pulling him into your living room.

"I could deck you, Remus John Lupin. I thought someone came for him. Ugh. Come here." Your arms wrap  around him for a tight hug, which he returns. "He's here, Remus. He's safe." You feel Remus let out a deep sigh of relief. Pulling away, you look at him with gentle scrutiny, knowing what a toll last night took on him. "You look awful. Did you walk far? You should've told me you were coming. I could have met you."

Remus shakes his head. "I caught a train and apparated most of the way."

"Stop fussing over him, y/n. Let the poor man get past the door."  Sirius's teasing voice calls out from behind you; no doubt his canine ears allowed him to hear the familiar voice even through the closed bedroom door and knew it was safe to come down.

The two men embrace; this encounter being much more relaxed than their last. No Peter, no warranted need for revenge, no threat of execution.

As you all stand in your living room, a haunting thought hits you: you three are it, the last of your true friends. Peter is the traitor. You suppress a shudder, swearing to make the most of this moment.

"You know," you say with a grin, "I happen to have a large bottle of firewhisky. Fancy a drink, boys?" Sirius's grin mirrors your own. Remus has a small tentative smile, but it's all the encouragement you need to send you to the kitchen to fetch the bottle.

The small, quaint kitchen appears even smaller with the disregarded dishes from breakfast still sitting out on your table. The sight causes a small frown to appear on your face. All the rest of the morning and most of your afternoon had been lost to the unplanned nap with Sirius. You fill your sink with soap and hot water. A few flicks of your wand and your dirty dishes are submerged in the water, scrubbed, and rinsed. The process begins again as now clean plates make their way to the drying rack, which is concerning because you dont believe you cast a spell for that. Confused, you turn to see Remus in the kitchen. He winks and wordlessly reaches your top cabinet without so much of a stretch to retrieve the bottle of firewhisky. You follow him back to the livingroom, toting three glasses.

"Cheers to freedom," you say once everyone has a full glass, "and to being reunited with old friends."

"You hear that, Remus? She thinks we're old." You roll your eyes good naturedly. Remus rests a hand on Sirius's shoulder, giving it a brotherly pat. "We are old," he says simply, before all three of you raise your glasses to your lips, sipping at the burning liquid. You each settle comfortably in your living room. Remus sits in the armchair, leaving the overstuffed couch for Sirius and you. You sit at an end, while he opts for the middle seat, but in a respectable distance of your space. The bottle of alcohol sits in arms reached on the coffee table.

"I thought you swore off this stuff y/n." Remus says with a twinkle in his eye as he takes another drink from his glass. "You know, considering your history with it.." You groan and Sirius throws his head back in laughter.

"I almost forgot," Sirius says breathlessly from laughing. "Was that seventh year?"

"Sixth. Just before we got together. I suppose I was trying to impress you," you tell him.

"You matched me drink for drink that night."

"Which was mad seeing how I never had a drink before. I spent all next morning and afternoon in bed, throwing up. It was awful."

"You're forgetting the best part," Remus interjects.

"Dancing on top of that old table in the Shrieking Shack, singing the chorus of "Rock and Roll all Nite" at the top of my lungs was far from the best part. I only wish I could forget it."

"That wasn't singing, love. More like cats dying," Sirius quips while he and Remus laugh. You say nothing, well aware how accurate the description fits. You take a long drink from your glass.

"Yes, well as, uh, entertaining as that moment was, I wasn't referring to it," says Remus. You look at him questioningly. "Have you forgotten sneaking into the Slytherin boys' dorm, stealing all their robes, turning them hot pink, changing the crest to a mountain troll, and then returning them to the dorm?"

"Oh,  Merlin. That was the same night wasn't it? James had never been so keen on lending me his invisibility cloak until I concocted that plan!" The two men laugh and you join in.

"You know most of my other friends thought I was strange for being into muggle music." You say as the laughter dies down.

"Lily shouldn't have?" Sirius asks after he swallows his drink.

"No. You're forgetting Lily and I weren't friends first. We didn't really talk or hang out until she and James started dating."

"That's right. I forgot. I remember the two of you constantly together."

"Because we bonded over you two idiots. Prior to that, she never came out and said it, but I think she thought I was daft hanging around you lot most of the time. The other girls were more forgiving, but they had crushes on you all." You give a careless shrug. It was no secret how sought after the boys had been in their schooldays.

"I never quite understood how you became friends with us," Remus says.

"It was easy with you. You were so nice, calm, dependable, and not obnoxious. Peter…" you pause, choosing words carefully, not wanting present feelings to influence memories. "He was quiet and lonely. Pretty much agreeable. Again, easy. James and Sirius? I was determined to never speak to either after that boat ride our first night."

"We saved your life that night!" Sirius interjects.

"You two were the reason it needed saving! Standing up in a fucking boat because you two saw whatever in the lake. James knocking me overboard in the process."

"It was a giant squid and we rescued you."

You roll your eyes. "I was drenched, freezing and completely mortified. And as apologetic as James was, he kept calling me the wrong name." You all laugh. 

"It wasn't until second year that I thought they might be okay. We had already become friends," you say looking at Remus. "I missed about a week of classes due to acute bronchitis. You spent time with me afterwards, helping me catch up. When you missed later that month, I was ready to return the favor."

Remus nods, remembering the time fondly. "You were an excellent note taker. Much better than the other three."

"Did you even take notes?" You ask with a playful glance to Sirius.

"In second year? Probably not." He grins ever so cheekily. You shake your head, but are smiling.

"So we became friends and you befriended James and Sirius by default?" Remus muses.

Sirius feigns hurt. "Are you implying we were some sort of consolation prize?"

"Actually," you interject, "They saved me once again. A group of four older boys were harassing me, just dumb taunts and knocking my books out from my hands. They came right over, not caring about being outnumbered. Got the gits to leave me alone. James finally learned my name and I realized Potter and Black weren't so awful after all."

"Those guys were jerks. It didn't sit well with us to see anyone bullied like that."

"Unless of course it was Snape," you counter.

"That was different," Sirius's free hand clenches into a fist as he takes a hard drink.

Remus is quick to change the subject. "Do you still have that remembrall?"

"The one we enchanted to go red only for James? Mhm! It's at my flat in the city."

"Do you mean our flat?" Sirius asks.

Your smile falters. "No. Sirius. I got a different place. After…everything. It was too hard."

A deafening silence falls. Each of you taking long sips from your glasses.

"Oh!" You jump up suddenly, which given your somewhat inebriated state is not the brightest idea. You stumble slightly, but Sirius steadies you, grabbing you by your hips. His fingers linger and your eyes meet. You lose yourself; for a moment you're sixteen again and his touch is more intoxicating than the alcohol. His gaze tells you he feels the same.

Remus clears his throat loudly before taking a drink from his glass.

"Thanks," you mumble, setting your glass on the table.

Sirius releases you from his grasp, though you still feel the ghost of his touch. "'Tis no trouble, darling." You sense his eyes on you as you disappear from the room, heading upstairs. Your head is buzzing, but you blame that on the alcohol…

You return downstairs to the living room, the fetched item tucked securely out of sight under your arm, and find the boys, men talking with easy smiles. It makes you so happy to witness and spend this time together. Your presence has their full attention.

"Follow me, please." You fill your glass with more firewhisky. Sirius mimics the gesture and offers Remus a refill, but he just shakes his head no and silently indicates to the liquid still in his glass. You grab your wand and lead your little group outside to the backyard. The sun sits low in the west, the sky becoming more plum and black than pink and gold. Buckbeak sits on the ground near your shed, one wing tucked over its head.

You hand Sirius your wand and then produce his prisoner robes. He laughs and even Remus looks as if he approves. Sirius waves your wand and the dingy, tattered garment is set ablaze. 

After a while, you all make your way back inside. You prepare a light dinner and the eating and drinking continue with more laughs and shared memories. Hours pass. The contents of the bottle nearly drained signal the night coming to an end.

"I'm one drink away from dancing on tabletops and singing, or, screeching some A-ha, or something equally as embarrassing." you laugh. "I'm going to bed. Remus, I offered Sirius your room, but you're welcome to the couch. There are blankets and pillows in the hall closet." 

"Thank you, y/n. But I should be going."

"What? No. Stay. I insist. I need to see your bemused face sipping tea when I come downstairs with a bloody hangover and you're just fine."

Remus grins. "I hate depriving you both of such a moment, but I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I've already rented a room." You frown but don't press the issue any more. "Though if you don't mind, I thought I'd travel by floo."

"Of course. Help yourself. Powder is on the mantle." You hug him close and kiss his cheek. You excuse yourself, giving the other two time to say goodbye.

As you head for the bathroom, you pause hearing their low voices.

"I'm so sorry, old friend, for believing you... betrayed them. I should have known better. I-"

"There's nothing to forgive. I doubted you, too. The war made us all fear the worst.."

Mentally, you chastise yourself for eavesdropping and begin washing your face.

Sirius has made his way upstairs. In passing his room, you say goodnight. You're about to close the door to your bedroom when he calls your name and you turn to see him stepping towards you. Without warning his lips crash down on yours. Your fingers intertwine in his dark curls at the nape of his neck as you let the kiss deepen. His hands grip your waist and he hoists you up off your feet with little effort just as he did many times all those years ago. Your legs wrap themselves around his waist as he carries you to your bed. He drops you gently and only breaks the kiss to look at you. Still hovering over you, his gray eyes search your face for the answer to an unasked question. You nod in response, but he continues to gaze at you longing to hear you say it.

"I want you."

A slow breath of relief leaves him and his mouth finds its way back to yours. 

The night ends with two former lovers once again completely losing themselves in a perfect moment.

//

There's an unspoken understanding that the night you and Sirius shared together was more than a drunken hookup after a long night of reminiscing. But you don't repeat the night, though you share your bed with him. Nights are hard for him. Sleep doesn't always come easy and he often wakes in the middle of the night screaming, or panicked with sweat pouring off his body. But your presence brings him a comfort he can't otherwise achieve. And so, you spend your night together in your bed. Sleeping.

As days turn into weeks, a comfortable routine has set. Remus visits about once a week. Surprisingly, Sirius has taken to caring for your garden. You go into town as needed and you and Sirius cook dinner together most nights. Buckbeak, now known as Witherwings per a letter from Hagrid that reached Sirius, roams your yard freely, occasionally taking flight in the safety of the countryside night skies, always returning by daybreak. As precautions for the hippogriff and Sirius you casted Protego totalum over the cottage and yards. 

During this time together, Sirius learns how you took over your parents' shop*, how you've taken on a promising young woman who mostly looks after it, leaving you to spend more time here at the cottage, which also belonged to your parents. With tears in your eyes, you told him how they died months apart just over two years ago. He comforted you, remembering them both fondly and told you they'd be proud of you.

The day is still young when you tell him you have to go to the shop to take inventory. Before you leave you call out to him.

"Since it looks like rain, can you please go through some of your things in the attic?"

"Yes, dear," he uses the term mockingly and you playfully glare back at him.

"Try not to burn the place down while I'm gone." With that, you close the door behind you.

It's late afternoon when you return home. Sirius is waiting for you. A midnight blue box in his hand.

"Will you marry me, y/n?"

*a/n: I kept this vague so you can imagine a shop that fits your personality/likes/whatever. I'll only specify this later if needed for storylines. I wanted something where you could be allotted time off easily. Personally I imagine maybe an apothecary? Or maybe an antique shop. What about you?

2: I'm thinking of writing a prequel? More like blurbs, highlighting moments between you and Sirius. But I need to know what you want to read. First engagement? First kiss? When Sirius realizes he's in love? Time at Hogwarts? Post Hogwarts but pre Azkaban?

Taglist <3: ��@oingo233 @marimorena06 @medalloway-blog

[artbivch]

hee hee, accidentally tabbed out and lost the original chain I was following but found this bad boy by baeby-tc

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

As tall as me-ish, blonde, white but that slightly tanned white from going outside a lot.

2. What was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

Probably “Here”

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

Single afaik. I wish I was single sometimes, but I’m not about to break up with anyone for a crush

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

A little bit of all without being a lot of any. I know some nerd things about him, and he likes the outdoors, but he doesn’t seem to be super in shape and he’s not as artsy as some of the faculty—thank god

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

Maybe? I’m pretty good at befriending randos who are lonely and introverted, but I have to be put in a class with them first. If we took art together then it’s possible.

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

Rufus Wainwright “The Art Teacher”

Need I say more?

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

He wears plaid button downs with a t shirt underneath almost exclusively. I wish he’d wear more formal wear sometimes but

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

Oh absolutely, before the revenge of the crush on him, I was actually in a dual major program of art and education. I dropped the education part halfway through because I decided I don’t want to go straight into teaching when I graduate. I want to be able to explore the world and not be shackled back into the public school system right out of the gate. But also I would accept a TA position in a heartbeat

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

Don’t know about smoking or how much he drinks, but he had a beer or a cider of some sort once.

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

I haven’t seen his desk because the bastard’s never in his office, but he usually has a pencil behind his ear.

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

He has absolutely no control over the students in the studio and what’s worse is the student he tends to hover over because he’s one of those annoying “oh I’ve never drawn before but I’m basically a prodigy out of nowhere” people. I’m not even mad at the guy for being a favorite I’m just annoyed at the fact he has the audacity to make some of the most photo realistic art within a few hours max and then leaves the studio a mess. I want to clobber this guy but I know I’d immediately get on the bad side of my tc.

The kid deserves my foot up his ass tho

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

No clue. He doesn’t talk much without being prompted and I’m too anxious to pry out those details without being worried he’d immediately notice how desperate I am

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

Pretty sure no to kids, but yes to siblings? I think he has a brother.

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

Yep! He’ll be my teacher for the full year and I’m gonna try to slip into his summer course post-graduation

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

Nope and unless fantasy casually breaks into reality, hopefully he never will.

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

no but he did once tell me I was using too much of the cleaner undiluted and four months later I still feel bad about it because it espensive ;-;

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

This feels a little dramatic, I think the worst it’s been is I had to wait an hour and a half for him to show up in a van so I could get my camping supplies out.

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

He seems to enjoy physical arts (he made a comment once about why do digital art when you’ve got a pen and paper lmao), which I’m more of a fan of too. He also seems to be outdoorsy and a fan of nature, which I tend to admire from afar. But also I’m not one to hike alone so I don’t know if I’d be more into it with someone

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

no but I harassed him for taking his sweet time when he told me I had to rush to the meeting site if I wanted my camping stuff back

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

I didn’t have him during quarantine, but I’ve been in a group zoom call with him. A second teacher led pretty much all of the discussion and he just sorta stared at things behind the screen like a squirrel

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

We talkin fantasy or somewhat reality? Fantasy we goin’ to some cool foreign city and banging. Reality, I think I’d just like to go on another camping trip, except this time with maybe a few less people

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

No but he used to use my high school nickname because he thought it was funny when I told him. When he remembered the nickname (because there was a three year hiatus where I didn’t have him we’d just sometimes run into each other) he laughed at it again. It’s a pretty fun nickname lol

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

No which is surprising because I cried today after seeing a really cute bee video

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

No but I’ve recently learned we live within a few blocks of each other so *fingers crossed*

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

I’ve seen him interact with some teachers and I know he’s friends with one that although I haven’t had him he seems rad. The other teachers are ones that are either pretty okay or ones that my friends have had and either 100% hated/loved with no in between. So that’s interesting. He seemed to idolize the teacher who was the old head of the department he shifted to like I did so we have that in common (although I had the privilege of learning under the old teacher for a couple years which was dope)

26. what does your tc’s voice sound like?

A little raspy. Not like smoker raspy, just like, aged.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

He’s not the most influential teacher I’ve had, but I really enjoy his style and methods. Plus he genuinely cares about the students even though he’s too introverted to show it most of the time.

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

Don’t know, he seems like a book guy and older media person

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

Easy going to a fault. It’s great until people take advantage of it.

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

Friendly, hopefully maybe even peers to an extent when I graduate? I’m super bad at keeping in touch so it’d rely on me involving myself in the community more and hoping we run into each other oops

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

First name, but everyone calls him by that

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: The Confession {8}

Chris Evans x Best Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, Angst, Plot, PLENTY WORDS

Words: 9.6k

Summary: Not this time.

Note: Thank you for reading lovelies! 😘😘

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you enjoyed this, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG.  ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Mildly Interactive***

***Picture Heavy***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

At four in the morning, you found yourself wide awake sitting in front of your vanity, staring at yourself, not moving a muscle.

 At five in the morning, you hadn’t budged, and honestly, you didn’t know if it was a good idea to go anywhere.

You heard your phone notifications firing off every ten or so minutes. Each and every one of them, you ignored. Ten hours ago, you’d had a plan. That plan consisted of you waking up at four to get yourself together to ensure you left the latest five o’clock to make it to the camping trail parking lot. You’d planned everything so well that you’d done the majority of everything that would take forever the night before.

 After ending your conversations with Chris and Jaxon, you made yourself some dinner, drank a bottle of wine as you did some work that you’d planned for the weekend that you wouldn’t get to. Then you moved on to pacing your closet while second-guessing your decisions for the weekend’s plans. That second-guessing led you to your second bottle of wine, which you drank rather quickly. By the time you reached the bottom, you were back on the train of it being acceptable and not a big deal to go. So you packed your bags with everything you’d need.

 You knew Chris would take care of all the logistic items such as the tent, firewood, ponchos, security needs, safety needs, and so forth. The man’s brain worked so analytically it was a wonder he’d become a real boy at some point in his life to make human relationships work. It was that way throughout your childhood. He would have the analytical part covered, and you’d pick up the slack with intuitive thinking. He’d always tease you about it by saying you’d never survive an apocalypse cause you’d feel and use your heart way too much. Ironic, you thought.

 “I just need to be more analytical. That’s all,” you professed out of nowhere as you stood.

 “Think with your head, not with your heart. I can do that. If he can do it, I can too.”

 Though you were trying to hype yourself up, it was barely working. Still, you pushed yourself to believe you could do this. So what if you hadn’t accomplished being analytical in all your years of living. You’d never mastered it as he had. This weekend you’d be the pro.

 Seeing that it was near half-past five, you quickly changed and did a once over of your home to ensure you had everything you’d need, then hauled your bags to the trunk of your car to begin the twenty-minute drive to the outskirts of town. The whole drive there, you played music that wouldn’t allow you to contemplate things any further. You didn’t need time to think any more. You knew if you had the twenty-minute drive to contemplate your options more, you’d turn around and chicken out.

 Your phone rang and loudly announced the caller on the speakers in the car.

 “Risa, the sun hasn’t even come up yet.

 “I made an effort to be awake to give you a call to check on you. I’m sure you’ve talked yourself up and down the ledge. Where are you?”

 “On my way.”

 “Oh, so you’re still going. Wow. Impressive,” Irisa bellowed.

 “Impressive? Didn’t you say it was a good idea?”

 “It is, but you always end up doing what you want to do. I just didn’t fully believe you’d go through with it.”

 Your mouth hung open. That said, a lot.

 “How are you doing?”

 Debating in your head, if you should play the nonchalant card or the brutal honesty card, you tapped onto the steering wheel as you came upon the exit to the grounds.

 “Uh----well, you know. cool.”

 It was a half-lie, but you fully turned onto the exit. There were no more outs unless you pulled a whole U and illegally reentered the highway while possibly causing an accident. It sounded terrible, but you wouldn’t rule it out.

 “You, my friend, are the opposite of cool. My god,” Irisa said, laughing at you.

 “I just don’t want things to get—worse. Ya know?”

 “I get it. you want things to stay the same.”

 “No. That’s not what I mean,” you began.

 “So, you want them to change.”

 “No. Jesus, I don’t know,” you grunted out.

 “Maybe use the weekend to figure it out and come to a decision that best suits you and no one else. Figure out what you can’t live without, not what you can live with,” Irisa counseled.

 You could see the entrance to the trail steadily approaching. It was relatively empty except for maybe a handful of cars. You weren’t worried. The destination you and Chris had in mind was off the beaten path, a piece of heaven carved out just for the two of you.

 “Thanks, Risa. I guess I’ll talk to you Monday. Once we head out, you know cell reception is nonexistent.”

 “I know the drill. Have fun. I know how you love camping out there. This might be one of if nor the last time you can.”

 She was right. Jaxon didn’t like camping, and you doubted you’d ever feel right bringing him to that spot. This was yet another thing you and Jaxon didn’t have in common. You enjoyed nature and relished any chance to be in it, but Jaxon preferred pampering. You thought it came from your opposite upbringings, him the only child of a career political force. He’d always had the proverbial golden spoon in his mouth. Maybe you could live without camping trips like this, you thought, as you rolled past an unexpected blast from the past.

 Slamming onto your breaks, you looked back in the rearview mirror to see Chris leaning against the monstrosity from your teenage years. You loudly snorted as the laughter bubbled up within you only to fill the car. He didn’t, you thought as you rolled into the nearest parking spot on the other side. When you got out and walked around to the back to get a better look, you let out a howl of laughter again.

 “Aaah, oh my god! I am not going anywhere in that hideous thing.”

Chris’s jaw dropped. “What!?”

 “You heard me. Which nineteen seventies hell did you crawl into to drag that thing out of?”

 “Shut up. You love it. Don’t listen to her girl; you’re gorgeous,” Chris said as he soothed the car by rubbing gentle strokes along its hood.

 “Oh my god, you’re ridiculous. I have not seen this thing in ten years.”

 “That’s an exaggeration, six the most.”

 “I thought this was gone.”

 “Never, I’m hanging on to this baby for the rest of my life. I couldn’t part with her—too many memories,” Chris said.

 The two of you stood in silence for a few moments. You ran through all the memories of this decades-old wagon and all the things it had seen, the adventures you’d been on. It still looked in mint condition, which was another nod to Chris’s mind. He always did take care of the things he valued.

 “Wow. So many memories,” you said, lost in your thoughts.

 “So many.”

 Your eyes met and rested for several long moments before you cleared your throat loudly, beginning to walk back to your car.

 “How many bags you got for me this time?”

 “Shut up. If it’s such a hassle, I can carry my own bags. This princess doesn’t need a prince charming.”

 As the trunk opened to reveal your four black and white matching camp duffle bags and one black weekender bag, you attempted to grab them, but Chris beat you to it, effortlessly grabbing the five bags in total.

 “That’s the beauty of the princess and her prince charming. He knew she was more than capable of saving herself, and he loved that about her, but he was so deeply in love that he vowed never to let it come to that—princess,” he said, ending on a whisper at your ear before walking away.

 A shiver ran through you, and just like that, the nerves that had faded when you pulled up returned tenfold. After straightening your back, you closed the trunk and went to the backseat to get the remaining three bags that you’d packed. Again as you moved to grab them, Chris opened the other side and took them before your hand ever touched them.

 “Is this it, or are you setting a record with nine bags?”

 “Christopher!”

 He walked again, laughing to himself. He thought he was so damn funny. You gathered your things from the front seat, excluding your phone, then locked up your vehicle. Before you crossed the parking lot, you took several breaths.

 “Conceal, don’t feel,” you whispered to yourself.

 Though Elsa was horrible and annoying, that was some excellent advice. You hoped it would work out better for you than it had for her with it.  When you got to Chris’s wagon, you slide your fingertips along the smooth paint and smiled as you walked to the passenger side. When you climbed in, Chris looked at you.

 “Ready?”

 It was a straightforward question, but it was asking so much. Were you ready for this weekend? Were you ready to do this? Were you ready to figure your shit out once and for all? Were you ready to possibly walk into the unknown leaving everything you’d ever known for sure behind? Were you ready to be unapologetically happy no matter where it took you? Were you ready to let go? All good questions. Were you ready? Who the hell knew, but it was too late to turn back now.

 You slide your sunglasses in place though the sun had barely begun to rise. “Hit it.”

 Without asking again, Chris did as he was told. Within minutes you’d exited the parking lot and were on the driving path that would lead you deeper and deeper into the Massachusetts wilderness. Well, the wilderness that had been carved out for humans who wanted to be close to nature without the threat of being eaten by bears. Though Chris was always analytical, he knew how to read a room. Either it was natural or a Hollywood trick that he’d picked up.

 For the first thirty minutes, the drive was relatively quiet except for the music that played. He’d had the good sense to allow you complete control over that. You were sure the way you switched songs that your nerves were in the air. Just as one of you was getting into the song, you would change it after a minute. It was one of your nervous ticks, fidgeting. You fiddled with the switch to change songs, you fiddled with your fingers, your bracelets, and even fiddled with your engagement ring.

 Though your body was in the car, your head was miles away, everywhere but nowhere all at the same time. You were going over the endless possibilities and probabilities of the weekend. It was a probability that things would get very transparent, and it was a possibility that transparency would blur lines. You didn’t know what gave you more anxiety, the possibility of being laid bare or the possibility of blurry lines. They were both terrifying.

 “It’s so loud in here.”

 Your head snapped to Chris, who turned to look at you. There was a small smirk on his lips.

 “What? The music isn’t even that loud.”

 “I didn’t say it was the music that was loud,” Chris countered.

 Crinkling your brows and scrunched your face showing your confusion.

 “Your thoughts. They’re loud. Stop.”

 Kissing your teeth, you exaggeratedly rolled your eyes the way you only did when he really annoyed you, and you had to show him just how much. Chris snorted and laughed loudly, clapping his hand across his chest.

 “Whatever, Christopher!”

 “You act as if we’ve never gone camping before, like this is the first time we’ve gone anywhere together. Relax.”

 “I am relaxed, shut up. I am fine,” you argued.

 “Prove it, stop fidgeting.”

 Kissing your teeth again, you straightened your back and rested your hands on your thighs as if you were some android awaiting instructions. With your eyes straight ahead, you watched the winding path the car traveled. After ten seconds, you were dying to move. By the time thirty seconds passed, it was such a strong urge. You had to look over to Chris to see if he was watching. Sure enough, his ass was watching you with the look on his face that said he expected you to fail. Asshole, you thought before you rolled your eyes again and began to bounce your legs again.

 Like clockwork, Chris laughed again.

 “Stop laughing at me,” you whined.

 “I’m sorry. Okay.” Chris straightened his face and focused on the road again for a few minutes before he spoke again. “You don’t have to be nervous around me, Y/N. It’s just me—just us.”

 You knew he was right, and when you thought about it for longer than a few seconds, you wanted to kick yourself. He was still Chris, you were still you, and at the end of the day, he was still your best friend. All the other stuff didn’t matter.

 “Did you bring your humidifier?”

 “Of course.”

 “Good, don’t want your truck horn sneezing to attract bears,” Chris teased.

 Your jaw dropped, which had him laughing again and drastically lowering the tension in the car, and that tension remained lowered for the remainder of the drive.

About an hour after driving, Chris finally pulled up to your piece of the forest, the piece that you’d accidentally found, and was now your go-to spot. While you were busy looking around and stretching your legs, Chris got to work with the bags that were in the trunk. When you went back to help him, he tried to deter you, saying he could handle it. Any protest ended when you added it would go quicker with your help.

 Ten minutes found all the bags on the ground where you chose. Twenty minutes from there, Chris had the tent pitted and had moved on to the grounds area, which housed a separate tent that you used to keep the food items secure. While he set up that tent, you began to bring bags into the sleeping tent and arranging them around the tent, leaving the middle open for the blow-up mattress.

 When you realized it was the one mattress, you froze sitting on the floor of the tent. You hadn’t thought about it because this is how it usually happened. It was always a queen-sized mattress that you brought. There was never a problem. However, in light of the confession of Chris’s feelings, you felt this might have been too much.

 “What’re you doing?”

 “Uh—nothing. I was uh—the mattress.”

 “Okay, then why are you just sitting here? Forgot how to do it?”

When he stooped down beside you, he saw you ferociously chewing your bottom lip, another nervous tick.

 “What’s up, princess?”

 A shiver ran down your spine again. Forcing yourself to shake off the unexpected feeling you debated on if you should tell him. as if reading your mind, Chris took a deep breath.

 “If you think it’s not a good idea to share the bed, that’s fine. I can take the ground, or I can even take the tent with the food. I don’t mind.”

 Your chewing speed picked up, as did the pressure from your teeth.

 “Y/N.”

 Looking at him, you studied his face and gazed into his eyes, trying to make a decision. It was Chris, you thought to yourself. You’re making it weird. You’re making this worse than it is. Your internal monologue went back and forth before finally going in on you prompting you to relax. After several minutes of your silence, Chris began to stand.

 “Okay. I’ll make the decision.”

 You shot your hand out to grab his. Chris stopped then sank back down.

 “It's fine.”

 “Are you sure? I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want this to be a thing in your head that it’s inappropriate or even that I’m going to try something on you. I’m not. I may be an asshole, but I’m never an asshole to you,” Chris explained.

 Sighing, you closed your eyes and gave yourself a mental kick. “It’s fine. It’s always been fine. I trust you, Chris. I’m just--.” You waved your hands around, hoping that was enough of an ending for him because you couldn’t find the right words to finish your thought.

 “Insane, I know,” Chris finished making you give him the evil eye. His smile was playful, which was the only reason you didn’t hit him. Instead, you pushed him back, forcing him to lose his balance to fall back on his ass.

 “Since you love to talk so much, you can blow this up yourself,” you said, standing and walking out of the tent.

 “You act like I don’t like working with my hands. I can do this all day!”

 You didn’t doubt it. While Chris finished up there, you brought the food bags into the tent and situated them. What was supposed to be a five-minute task turned into almost fifteen minutes of you organizing things according to food category because once again, your anxiety had gotten to you. Halfway through, it was clear to you that both of you had brought more than enough food for two days.  After taking some time to get your head right, you returned to the sleeping tent to find Chris arranging the bags around the tent while the blown-up bed remained bare. From the looks of the bags, you knew his analytical brain had gotten the better of him. Your bags were on the right while his were on the left. He’d managed to put them all perfectly spaced from the other, but he left your overnight bag on its own toward the upper side of the bed.

 “Perfect spacing,” you teased as you walked to the foot of the bed. “What happened here?”

 “I forgot sheets,” Chris admitted.

 Snorting, you shook your head. “Of course you did. Such a man,” you joked as you walked to your bags. You looked through each of them, unsure which one you’d packed the sheets into. Once you found them, you turned and held them up.

 “Ta-da.”

 “Of course, you’d pack a set of sets.”

 “Let’s get it straight. I packed two sets of sheets,” you said as you tossed him the pillowcases.

 “Shit, I forgot my pillow.”

 Chris smirked and walked to the large garbage bag that was on the ground and pulled out a replica of your pillow.

 “I already knew you would. It’s like a given with you.”

 Smiling, you nodded. “Okay, thank you.”

 For the next few minutes, the two of you made lite work of making up the blow-up mattress. Your bodies passed each other working together to make sure it was done correctly. When you were putting on one of the pillowcases on the left side of the bed, you glanced at him. This all felt so domestic, so—natural. Jaxon always hated helping with the sheets because you had a particular way you liked them and that particular way got on his nerves because he could never get it right.

 Chris folded down the shimmery cream silk fitted sheet over the lite faux fur blanket that was a complementary hue so that it was neatly resting at the top of the mattress right underneath the pillow. Once he was finished with that, he folded the end, so it created a perfect inward triangle. You continued to watch as he smoothed his palm across it brushing away any creases, then his eyes landed on you. It was perfect.

 “What?”

 Smiling, you shook your head. “Nothing. You did good,” you answered, placing the pillow down, completing the look. “It’s perfect.”

 “I know. You and your OCD ass,” Chris joked before walking out of the tent, leaving you to admire his handiwork and fold your side into the triangle.

 When you got outside, Chris was setting up the location for the cooking setup. That was your queue to gather some wood so he would be able to light a fire in a few hours. After letting him know your intention, he warned you to keep close but returned to preparing the area. Before you turned away, you saw him take off his plaid long sleeve shirt to show his tank top underneath. His muscular arms stopped you for a few seconds before you continued with the mission.

 As you walked around the perimeter of the camp, you quickly got lost in your surroundings. The trees' beautiful green matched the grass's vibrant green and complimented the wildflowers that littered the ground about you. Bending, you picked up a branch that would do nicely for the pit and picked one of the flowers nearby. Tucking it behind your ear, you carried on with your search for branches.

 Ten or so minutes later, you returned with an arm full of branches to find Chris with his tank top off. He was setting up a safety perimeter. From behind, you could see the lite layer of sweat that decorated his body, giving it a look as if he’d been rubbed down with baby oil. The sheen glistened with the light and almost had your jaw-dropping. When did he get all that? Before your thoughts could stray any further, Chris turned.

 “There you are. I was going to send out the search party.”

 You cleared your throat and approached where Chris has set up the fire pit location and dropped the branches.

 “About done here?”

 “Uh—after I arrange these, yeah. Why?

 “Let’s go for a walk, you know, get the blood pumping in other directions.”

 Chris looked at you, quizzically. “Other directions? Like where and from where?”

 Avoiding his eyes, you spun around, trying to decide on a direction. “How about that direction?”

 Without waiting for him to answer, you walked ahead.

 “You wanna give me a little time?”

 “Catch up, and put a shirt on. Your pale ass burns easily,” you shouted behind you while continuing your walk.

 Using the free minutes of alone time you had left, you tried to screw your head back on right. In all your years of friendship, you’d never looked at him like that. You barely noticed if he had muscles or was skinny and scrawny like he was when he was a teenager. You never saw it.

 “What the hell was that, Y/N?”

 “What was what?”

 Looking beside you, Chris fell into step with you as if your rapid pace was comfortable.

 “Nothing. Why didn’t you bring Dodger?”

 “Uh—I was tempted. I just thought it was a good idea to leave him.”

 “I miss him. Jaxon doesn’t like dogs. He doesn’t like pets actually,” you absentmindedly said without thinking.

 “Huh.”

 Looking at him, you realized what you’d said. “Shit, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just brought him up.”

 “It’s fine,” Chris professed.

 “Is it?”

 He took a deep breath, shrugged, and looked ahead. “Look, it’s no secret I don’t like the guy.”

 “You sure acted like it.”

 “What was I supposed to do, Y/N? Tell you I don’t like your boyfriend?”

 “Why not. Maybe we could have found a way for you to like him,” you replied.

 “I was never going to like him. I will never like him or anyone else you’re with,” Chris said, his tone pointed but also soft.

 Studying him, you realized again what you’d said. The two of you walked in silence for a few moments; both lost in your own thoughts.

 “This is so crazy,” you huffed out.

 “Did you like all my girlfriends?”

 As soon as he asked, you snorted out and laughed. “We shouldn’t talk about this.”

 “No, we should. That’s what this weekend is for. Honesty,” Chris finalized.

 Glancing at him, you found his eyes already on you. “You’re sure?”

 “Yeah. I’m sure as hell not going to hold anything else back.”

 Taking a few moments to gather your thoughts, you changed directions getting closer to the river bank.

 “I love this spot so much.”

 You stood there staring out at the majestic sight before you. The beauty of the green trees and mountains in the distance was breathtaking. Your favorite part was how the backdrop mirrored in the lake, making it seem as if another replica world was right underneath the water's surface. It was easy to feel small here and easy for you to get back to the simplicity of things.

 “If by girlfriends you mean the ones that stuck around past five months, then I liked them all except two,” you confessed.

 “Which two?”

 Smirking, you pinched your lips and looked at him. “The one with the nose, and the one with that hideous back tattoo. What the fuck was that?”

 Chris busted out laughing. It was a contagious laugh because you had to join in seconds later. The two of you laughed uncontrollably for a full minute until it slowly died down.

 “You know what, I guessed one, but the other—I’m shocked. She was nice.”

 You rolled your eyes and kept walking, already tired of the lies. Soon Chris was beside you again.

 “She wasn’t nice?”

 “She was fake. She wanted two things from you, and she got them.”

 “What are those two things?”

 “It’s not important,” you countered.

 “Of course, it is. I wanna know. what two things?”

 Bouncing you with his bulky shoulder, you staggered sideways before you turned to him, stopping for a moment.

 “Tell me.”

 “Fine. She wanted a good dick down and clout,” you replied, then continued walking.

 “Woah, woah, woah. A good dick down? What do you mean? How do you know my dick down is good?”

 “Shut up, Chris. You’re the biggest hoe, and you always thought that no one talks when you hoe around. Everyone talks. There have been some stories that I’ve heard that are just—nuts. I’ve heard of twosomes, threesomes, hell foursomes, and even the one time you found yourself at some Hollywood sex orgy party. I had to give Scott a double take from that one. Honestly, how many women have you slept with? Then you turn around and tell me you’ve been in love with me since high school. Come on!”

 You’d rambled like a manic, letting your frantic thoughts get the better of you. When you realized he wasn’t walking beside you, that was when you took a breath. Looking back, Chris had stopped and had his head hung as if he’d lost his most prized possession.

 “Chris--,” you remorsefully began.

 “I know how my actions seem Y/N. I know what the rumors say. I know everyone calls me a whore and thinks that all I care about is ass. I know.” He walked closer, then stopped in front of you. “You’re my best friend; I just wish you didn’t think that about me too.” With that, he walked ahead of you, leaving you standing there.

 Sighing, you dropped your head back to roll your eyes. “Great.”

 The walk was quiet after that. Chris either kept his head down or eyes straight ahead. He also remained in front of you and didn’t return beside you after that. You knew he was sensitive about the whole whore thing. It wouldn’t have usually been something you would have brought up, but it was on your mind. It had remained on your mind since he confessed his feelings. It was something you couldn’t wrap your head around. If you knew how you felt about someone, you couldn’t just sleep around with others as if you felt nothing, especially when you came home and saw them for holidays and even family functions. It was something you needed answers to, but seeing Chris’s disposition, you decided against it.

By the time the sun was highest in the sky, and you’d made it to the top of a cliff that gave you a bird's eye view of the forest, you’d reached your level of avoidance. You had to know.

 “I--,” both of you began at the same time.

 You pinched your lips together and waited for him to go just as he did the same.

 You spoke again, “I--.” Again Chris began the same time you did.

 “You go,” Chris offered.

 “Do you know how many women you’d introduced me to?”

 He sighed but didn’t do what you expected. Instead, he turned to you and gave you his undivided attention.

 “Tell me.”

 “Six. Including your latest even though that was over FaceTime. Six women, Chris. Six women during the entirety of when you said you were in love with me. Six women. Six women, you paraded around, fell in love with, had sex with, six.”

 “I’ve never been in love with any of them.”

 That was when your jaw dropped, and you gaped at him.

 “It’s a dick thing to say, especially now, but it’s also the truth. I loved three of them but was never in love with any of them.”

 You didn’t need him to tell you that there was a difference between being in love with someone and loving them. You knew there was a difference.

 “Jennifer? Danika? Your mom thought you’d marry one of them.”

 “I loved things about them. Was I ever in love? No. I tried, I just—couldn’t.”

 You couldn’t believe your ears.

 “It’s something to you never being in love with any of your old boyfriends.”

 Your head swiveled to him. He didn’t look cocky, though. He just looked sure.

 “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 “I’m the only person who knows what I’m talking about when it comes to that, apart from Irisa.”

 That cornered feeling you hated was creeping up onto you.

 “That also includes this one you’ve convinced yourself you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

 “I love Jaxon,” you quickly defended.

 “Maybe, and that’s a huge maybe. You’re not in love with him.”

 “How the hell do you know that, Chris?”

 Chris studied you for several long moments. Every second of silence only made your anxiety rise higher and higher. When you were sure he knew you were about to lose your shit, he spoke.

 “I’ve known you since I was a kid. I know everything about you. I know every tick, every sign, signal, nerve ending. The only thing I can’t figure out is why you’d move up a wedding you don’t want to have in the first place. So tell me, Y/N. Why?”

 Gulping down the water in the bottle, you focused on the scenery. “And I can’t figure out why you’d break your lifetime of silence this many months after my initial engagement. You’ve done this at the worst possible time, and now you just expect me to what—leave Jaxon and throw all this time and the plans away. What’s to say next year this time you’re not changing your mind?”

 “I’ve never not been in love with you, Y/N. Never. I loved you close in high school. I loved you from afar when you went off to college and me LA. I loved you through the good, the easy, the complicated. I’ve been in love with you through it all. I never thought I had a chance so I held my peace until I couldn’t. then---I was afraid not only of the rejection but also the love that I felt.”

 Chris quickly looked at you then scoffed. “You don’t get it,” he began. “Have you ever felt something so powerful that it—supersedes anything you’ve ever felt and makes it impossible to feel anything else for anyone else? Nothing I ever felt for anyone came close to what I feel for you. Nothing I thought of anyone was anything like what I thought of you. I compared every woman to you on every single level.”

 You took a deep breath, and though you wanted to look away because the intensity of his stare was making your skin tingle and your heart race, you didn’t. You kept your eyes on his.

 “I can see the fear in your eyes. I’ve always been able to see it,” Chris began as he slid closer to you, so there were just a few inches between you.

 His long spider-like legs were open and bent over yours that were crossed. His hands rested on your thighs, and it was an action he’d done hundreds of times. It shouldn’t have made you look to them or even made your heart flutter, but it did.

 “What’re you afraid of?”

 Meeting his eyes, you got so nervous that you had no idea what to say.

 “I’ve planned my life.”

 “So what? Plans are meant to change, be adjusted, reevaluated—upgraded,” Chris said.

 “And you’re the upgrade?”

 He slowly licked his lips before he bit into his bottom lip. You could feel his fingertips gently sinking into your thighs. It felt surprisingly good.

 “I’d be cocky as fuck if I said yes. I’m just going to say when it comes to you—yes. We’re comfortable with each other. We know everything about each other. I know how to handle your neurosis, your OCD, your ticks, and all the nuances that make you who you are. I know what you like. I know what makes you happy and angry. We’re similar where it matters. I’d never change you or expect you to change or try to fit into my life or my world.”

 When you looked down, he lifted your chin to face him again. “I’m not trying to shame you or anything, Y/N. You asked.”

 “Yeah, I know.”

 For a few minutes, the two of you just stared at each other, neither of you speaking or moving. His hands remained on your thigh, and the longer they stayed there, the more used to it you got. The more used to it you became, the more his warmth seeped into your skin and began speaking to you, making you not mind if this one move could be disrespectful. Five minutes turned to ten and ten to fifteen, and that was when you moved to suggest you began making your way back to camp.

 As the hours waned, you and Chris enjoyed nature doing the competitive things you’d done since you were kids whenever you came here. Usually, you’d compete for jobs and roles such as cooking and producing the day’s meals or clean up duty this time, Chris decided to switch things up. You had a scavenger hunt for pinecones, which he won. His reward was one IOU. You went down to the lake, skipped stones, an event you always rocked, so you got the IOU. After that, you took turns seeing who could take better nature pictures based on category. Again, you rocked at anything creative, so you took the win though it wasn’t an easy one.

 By the time got the fifth activity, making a craft from four things you found in the vicinity, the sun was beginning to make its descent behind the mountains and trees. As you sat on your side of the forest with your back leaned against a tree focusing hard on the twig, flower, and feather dreamcatcher, you found yourself glancing up and around the tree that was supposed to be serving as a wall between you so your creations would be a surprise.  He was sitting once again in his tank, brows knitted and head focused down on what he was doing. You could tell his jaw was clenched from the way his mouth was set. Every few seconds, he’d bit onto his bottom lip in a way that piqued more than your attention. When he looked up, you always played it off as if you were looking somewhere else into the distance.

 “Five minutes left,” Chris shouted.

 “Don’t rush me, Evans.”

 “I’m not, Y/L/N, just following the timer.”

 “Worry about yourself. You have five minutes left,” you shot back. Chris’s snickering echoed in the forest, making you smile.

 You hurried to put the finishing touches on your craft because Chris was a stickler for being on time. It was a pet peeve of his, one you enjoyed messing with on a regular. You were able to squeeze ten minutes extra out of him to his annoyance. When you shouted out that you were ready, you peeped behind the tree to see his smiling face.

 “Don’t be shy, princess.”

 You walked toward him with your craft hidden behind your back while smiling like a thief. Once you got close enough, you turned around at the same time he did to press your back to his.

 “I can’t believe we’re still doing this,” Chris scoffed out.

 “I know. It’s great. I love this.”

 “That’s because you always get the point. Your crafts are incredible,” Chris whined.

 “Aww. Your crafts are great too. I still have everything you've ever made me.”

 “Really?” He sounded shocked, and you understood why. None of the things he made you were out in plain sight. You had them tucked away in a decorated box from when you were fifteen. It was embarrassing.

 “Yeah. I’ve never thrown anything away. I would never.”

 You could see his eyes lingering on yours for a few moments before he looked away. “I didn’t know that.”

 “Yeah. Anyway, ready to give me this win?”

 “So damn cocky. I don’t wanna hear anything about me.”

 Giggling, you shimmied against his back, accentuating the height difference between you.

 “Okay, on three.”

 As he counted to three, you got more and more excited to reveal your craft. Once you both turned, both of your jaws dropped.

 “Oh my god, Chris.”

 “Me? Woah, how’d you make that?”

 He marveled at the dreamcatcher in your hand while you stood there astonished by the three wooden cravings in his. As Chris reached for yours, you reached for his. He’d somehow managed to hand carve three figures, and he’d managed to put so much detail into them.

 “How did you—are there two me?”

 “What gave it away?”

 You inspected the figurines closer. One looked to have very curly like hair that was done with swirls in the wood. The clothes he’d somehow designed were adorable; it was a crop top of some form and a pair of jeans with hearts on the pockets.

 “Oh my god, Chris is this—are these the jeans I always wore in high school? The ones with the hearts?”

 He was smiling widely as he rubbed the back of his neck.

 “Oh my god, this is amazing, and this one.”

 You studied it and took note of the difference between the hair and the clothes. This one looked like your dress from that first Hollywood event he took you to. It was the one that you’d spent nearly a fortune on because you wanted to make sure you didn’t embarrass him. That was the night he assured you that nothing you could ever do would embarrass him, and he didn’t care what the press thought. You remembered then the words he said when you turned the carving to the back to see the same words.

 -I love every single thing about you and wouldn’t change one thing. You’re my perfect.-

 Slapping your hand across your mouth, you looked at him, completely unsure how you could have forgotten.

 “The two most significant times, I’ve fallen in love with you. I told you, I’ve said it tens of times.”

 What the hell did you say to that? You wondered how many times he’s plainly said it, but you just never registered it the way he meant it. Was your entire life and friendship a lie?

 Thanks to the eight activities, you managed to get three IOUs, but Chris was the one who came away with the overall win with five IOUs. He took pity on you and volunteered to handle dinner, which allowed you to get yourself to the one place you were too excited to get to. When you walked a little further past the lake in the middle of the forest, there was a beautiful pond like enclosure with a picturesque waterfall and cave. If anyone saw you, they might say you looked like an idiot walking through the woods wrapped in a towel wearing your rain boots carrying a bath caddy. No wonder he always made fun of you, you thought, as you laid your towel across a boulder.

The water was just right. Taking your time, you swam around, being careful not to get your hair wet. You knew it was inevitable your hair would get ruined by the end of this weekend, but that didn’t mean you should help it along its way. It was easy to get lost in the sereneness of your surroundings. The only sounds around you were that of birds chirping, the breeze through the trees, and the soft rustling of bushes as harmless animals scampered around. It all sounded like one of the sleep mixes you used when your mind refused to shut down at night.

 By the time you actually began soaping your skin, the sun was disappearing, giving the sky the most beautiful glow. It wasn’t a glow that could be wholly appreciated in the city. It was its best here. As you watched the sky change colors from pink and purple to orange and every variation of it until it became near navy. Something about being here made you feel freer, more like yourself, or who you were at your core. For some reason, you always felt like you had to be a neater, more restrained version of yourself in the city. It was exhausting. You never felt that way with Chris, but you didn’t know if that was necessarily a good thing or not.

 Something made you look back, and that was where you saw Chris at the bank just staring at you with his mouth wide. Though it was dark, you could perfectly make out his features. The way he looked ar you made your stomach flutter. When your breathing became short and more strained, you noticed your heart's racing and the way it made you slightly dizzy. This was a first. Part of you said you should be appalled or close to it, but it was such a small part it was easy to ignore. Still, you found yourself sinking lower into the water until it reached your shoulders.

 “I’m sorry,” Chris began as he turned to the side, dipping his head low. “I didn’t mean to—I shouldn’t have—I should have—I didn’t see anything,” He finished.

 Not knowing what to say, you kept quiet.

 “I came to tell you dinner was ready not—perv out while you’re,” he trailed off.

 “You’re only perving it you jerk off while you’re being a creeper.”

 “I might tonight,” he said under his breath, but thanks to the way water carried sound, you heard him loud and clear. The thought was the first of its kind ever to have entered your mind.  Had he thought about while he jerked off before?

 When you didn’t speak for a while, Chris spoke instead. “So uh—see you back at camp.”

 With that, he walked off, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

 By the time you got back to camp, you saw that Chris had set up a blanket in front of a roaring fire as he waited for you to join him. You quickly dipped into the tent to change into something comfortable. It wasn’t longer than five minutes before you’d reemerged in a pair of grey shorts and a white cropped tank that you covered with an oversized cable knit sweater.

“I’m here. I’m sorry.”

 “It’s fine. I know your ritual, shower before eat or else you don’t enjoy your meal,” Chris lectured.

 A soft smile spread across your lips. It was comforting having someone who knew you so well. There was safety in regularity.

 “This looks great. I didn’t know you brought steak.”

 “When don’t I bring meat.”

 The two of you giggled because it was true. Chris was a steak and potatoes man through and through. The fuss and muss was not for him, and you loved that. There were nights he’d be completely happy with a burger and fries as opposed to some frilly meal. Another thing he and Jaxon didn’t share, especially looking at Jaxon’s two gourmet restaurants. He loved frill. You didn’t care either way.

 “It looks and smells amazing,” you said as you dug into the meal before you. as you chewed the tender steak, the flavorful juices had you moaning. “God, you always knew how to make a steak be the best I ever had.”

 “That says a lot especially thinking--,” Chris began before you cut him off.

 “—I know.”

 That was that. He didn’t push to know more or discuss it any further. You ate for some time in silence. It wasn't because you had nothing to say; you were just once again lost in your thoughts. By the time you’d moved on to the shrimp, you’d found your voice.

 “Thank you for the carvings.”

 “Thank you for the dream catcher. Maybe it’ll help bring the good ones to life.”

 Your eyes lingered for a while before he brought his beer bottle to his mouth. Looking away, you finished yours and reached for your third.

 “The liquor store didn’t have your wine,” Chris began.

 “I’m not nearly as bougie as you think I am. Beer is perfect.”

 Chris snorted and shook his head as he took another swig.

 “Says the woman who wore a full face of makeup to a pool party.”

 “Look, it was waterproof. I needed it. Why wouldn’t I want to look good in the water?”

 He laughed so loudly you knew he’d scared some animals away that were inching toward the glow of the fire.

 “Stop laughing at me,” you whined.

 “Fine. Sorry.” He tried to stop laughing, but it took a while for his face to go back to straight. The whole time you glared at him unamused. Once he was straight-faced again, he raised his hand before he reached for his third beer.

 “Are you wearing makeup now?”

 “No,” you replied.

 “Guess you don’t need it. You looked plenty good in the water,” he murmured before he brought his beer to his mouth.

 Was that an innuendo? Was he flirting? You’d never experienced it before, so you had no idea.

 “Was that inappropriate? It probably was. I’m sorry.”

 “No—it’s—it’s fine,” you said, utterly unsure if it was or not.

 “Is it?”

 You stared, silently sizing each other and the moment up. This was completely unchartered territory. Was it inappropriate? Did it bother you?

 Slowly, you responded with the first thing that came to your mind. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

 Chris stared at you as he rubbed the spout of the bottle against his plump bottom lip, drawing your eyes right to it. He looked as if he were trying to either come up with a game plan on how to move forward or if he was doubling back on an already established plan. He looked like he was just as confused as you. When he looked away and into the fire, you did the same.

 “Were you just—did you just flirt with me?”

 Chris snorted and shook his head. “See, this game you say I have is nonexistent.”

 “So you were?”

 When he nodded, your eyes bugged. “Wow. I completely didn’t—I feel like our entire life and friendship has been a lie.”

 “I get that,” Chris assured.

 “How could I have been so blind? So—I didn’t even think that the things you said, or the way you said them meant anything beyond you being my best friend. I didn’t know how you felt. How do I know that the times we were just laying together on your couch or mine didn’t--,” you trailed off, gulping down the remainder of your beer before reaching for another.

 “I’m sorry,” Chris started.

 “Stop saying you’re sorry!” It was unfair. You knew it but hearing him saying sorry so much got to you especially thinking that he’d been saying the same thing for years. You just hadn’t been listening.

 The silence between you stretched for several minutes, and it gave you time to finish your fourth beer. You sure hoped he’d brought more than this one twelve pack. Once it was finished, you took a deep breath and tried to be an adult and use your words.

 “You’ve been saying the same thing for years. You’ve said it so many times, so many ways. I never listened. I never heard you.”

 “Y/N, I took the coward’s way. Yeah, I said it, but I knew there was one way to say it that you couldn’t ignore, but I didn’t. I was too afraid to. This is my fault. I don’t want you blaming yourself for this. I was a coward. I deserved for you to live your life and meet other people and all of this pain I’ve been in. I deserve it.”

 In seconds you’d moved over to him and grabbed his hands. “Stop it. You didn’t deserve this. God. Sometimes you piss me off so bad.”

 Chris snorted and shook his head. “I should have said something sooner.”

 “You should have. So much could have been different.”

 He angled his head and gave you a look that had you realizing what you’d said. “What could have been different?”

 Dropping your head, you toyed with his fingers. “I don’t know.”

 “You don’t say something like that unless you know. Tell me.” His fingers laced with yours, and though it wasn’t something new, it felt new.

 “I don’t know. I mean—who knows, tons of things could have been different. We don’t know how things would have played out.”

 “You think we’d be together now?”

 You stared at him and contemplated his question. Was it possible?

 “You don’t think we know too much to work?”

 “No, I think because we know so much we would work. You’ve seen me at my absolute worst,” Chris mentioned.

 It was true, and you thought that was one of the reasons you wouldn’t work. Could you be with him knowing his history? It was more questions to put on top of all the others you already had. You doubted anything would be worked out by the end of the weekend.

 Once the two of you’d finished eating, you were on clean up duty while Chris went to get a bath. You spent ten minutes cleaning up and securing the tent with the food before you wandered down to the lake to stare out at the moon. The glint of your engagement ring caught your eye, and it was there your eyes remained. Though you’d brought Jaxon up before, this was the first time you thought about him. Even now, it wasn’t an intimate thought. It was more the concept of him.  

 You twirled the ring around your finger, something you realized you did quite a lot. You remembered Irisa telling you an old wives tale about if a woman spins her engagement or wedding band, it meant she wanted to get out of the relationship. It was never a thought to you before now. Within the last week, you’d never been more confused in your whole life. One minute your head was in one place, and the next, you were backtracking. Things were so confusing that you saw things differently than you ever had, and that second sight had you questioning your actions that you were so sure about before.

 Holding up your hand, the ring on your finger looked as if it was competing with the full moon in the sky. The moon was just barely larger than the diamond you wore. Jaxon’s whole concern was making sure it was big enough. Groaning, you rolled your eyes and dropped your hand, slightly annoyed that your mind kept jumping to anything Jaxon related. One of the points for this weekend was to get away from everything.

 Thinking there was no plausible way for you to get through the weekend with a constant reminder of everything you were supposed to be getting away from, you made your decision. Slipping your ring off of your finger, you held it in your free hand beside your outstretched one. You’d taken it off before, of course, but this time was not to shower or anything technically related. This time was different. This time was the first possibility you wouldn’t put it back on. You were afraid of it—terrified.

 By the time you returned to camp, you were sure it had to have been an hour later. The only lights on were the twinkle lights Chris had strung around the camp to allow some form of light in the middle of the dark forest. The fire was on its last legs; you knew it would be outed before morning. Reaching the tent, you unzipped the flap to go inside. Once you did, you stopped in your tracks, seeing Chris’s bare ass. He spun around completely as bare as the day he was born, showing you all his glory.

 Your jaw dropped, but you didn’t turn. You couldn’t. Your eyes were glued to his groin. Good lord, you thought as your mouth actually watered. You don’t know how long Chris stood there in all his glory, but when he grabbed the discarded towel to hold before his crotch, you finally averted your eyes.

 “Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you rushed out as you turned your back.

 “I’m sorry, I should have,” Chris began.

 “No, I should have knocked, or made a sound, or wiggled something. Shit, oh god.”

 You quickly rushed out of the tent, and paced around the campfire, lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen Chris naked, but it was the first time you’d seen him naked since you’d gotten out of teenage years. Good lord, had things changed. What the fuck was that? Did your mouth actually water? You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear Chris come up behind you until you bumped into him.

 “I’m sorry.”

 “It’s fine. It’s just nudity.”

 “Just nudity? Oh my god, I haven’t seen you naked since we were teens, no twenty,” you ranted.

 “No big deal.”

 “No, Chris, that was a big deal, that--,” you motioned toward his junk.

 The amusement on his face was so obvious.

 “Don’t make me laugh. This isn’t funny.”

 “It is when you think about it. It’s insane we’ve never gone through something like this before,” Chris eluded.

 “I’m so sorry.”

 “It’s okay. I forgive you. I’ll consider it even seeing I walked in on you earlier. Let’s go to bed. You know the sun rises early out here.”

 Groaning, you walked ahead and into the tent with Chris on your heels. Once you’d climbed in, you laid on your side with your back to him and just stared out. No matter how much you tried to think of something else, you couldn’t. All you could see was his dick, his impressively girthy dick. You flipped onto your back and stared up at the night sky, and took a deep breath. You’d forgotten about this view and forgotten how breathtaking it was. The stars in the sky shimmered like tiny specks of silver and white glitter.

“Wow.”

 “I know. The best thing about nights out here,” Chris countered.

 You glanced at him and saw him lying on his back with his arms behind his head. He looked calm and at home, like he wasn’t ashamed in the least. The two of you remained quiet, staring at the sky, soaking it all up.

 “Chris,” you began.

 “Yeah, princess.”

Biting your bottom lip, you swallowed any angst you had about asking this question.

 “Have you thought about me?”

 He didn’t speak right away, and you didn’t have the guts to look at him, so you waited for him to speak.

 “Do you think I’ve thought about you?”

 “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it before tonight.”

 “And now that you have?”

 You turned your head to him just as he turned to look at you. Your eyes lingered before you watched his eyes drop to your mouth. You knew he knew what you were asking.

 “Yeah—I’ve thought of you, more times than I’d like to admit,” Chris confessed.

 You’d gotten into this mess with his confessions, and there was another one. Your belly fluttered, and your heart raced. Biting your bottom lip, you looked to his and wanted more than anything to know what they felt like. He must have read your mind because that was when he turned to you. After a few seconds, you turned to him the same way and rested your hand on your pillow. Chris moved his hand and engulfed yours, lacing his fingers with yours.

 Staring at him, you felt as if this was a do or die moment, and depending on what decision either of you made, your lives would turn. Chris leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

 “Good night, princess.”

 With that, he laid back down, keeping your hand in his.

 Oh fuck, you thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Xia Yan Personal Story 4-1 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist | Video

Chapter 4: 4-1 / 4-2 / 4-4 / 4-5 / 4-6 / 4-7 / 4-9 / 4-10 / 4-11 / 4-12 / 4-13 / 4-14 / 4-16

Xia Yan’s Home

Our interactions after I moved into Xia Yan’s house had a long-lost familiarity to them, but also… a strange unfamiliarity.

When I walked up to the washroom door, the door suddenly opened from inside – Xia Yan had just finished showering and was just in the middle of wiping off his hair when he pushed the door open.

Just like in the past, he didn’t try very hard to dry it off, such that the white T-shirt that he was wearing was slightly damp, clinging onto his firm body.

Xia Yan: Why are you up so early?

MC: Sphinx said that he was going to contact us about collaborating on the case, right? I was afraid that he’d come over really early…

Xia Yan: Don’t worry, he won’t.

MC: How do you know? Did he contact you alone?

Xia Yan: Oh, he didn’t. I’m just speculating.

Xia Yan: Sphinx has always preferred operating alone in the dark. Even if he needed to work with us right now, he still probably wouldn’t want to reveal his identity.

Xia Yan: Plus, even if he doesn’t mind that, right now isn’t a good time.

Xia Yan: The two of us just appeared in front of Meng Qishan. Even though I’ve already threatened him to not reveal any info on us to Oedipus…

Xia Yan: It’s always best to take every possibility in consideration. If Sphinx seeks us out right now, he just might send himself to Oedipus for nothing.

Xia Yan: If I were him, I’d also opt to work underground. We’re out in the open while he’s hidden, which is more beneficial for the investigation.

MC: Makes sense.

MC: Right, why did you shower so early?

Xia Yan: Uh… I just finished up my morning run, so I took a quick cold shower.

Xia Yan: Right, are you also going to wash your face?

Xia Yan: Wait a bit, I just noticed that there’s no more toothpaste. I’ll get you a new tube.

MC: No need, I brought some.

MC: If you also haven’t washed your face yet, we can just use my toothpaste.

I helped Xia Yan squeeze out the toothpaste. Then, we stood side-by-side in front of the mirror to wash up.

Because we had grown up, and because Xia Yan’s home washroom was comparatively smaller, Xia Yan and I kept bumping into each other.

The steam that hadn’t dispersed yet in the washroom filled the air with the scent of shower gel. This was just a typical scent, but because Xia Yan was beside me, it felt… somewhat different.

Right now, the past commonplace occurrence of us washing our faces and brushing our teeth together… made me feel somewhat nervous.

The mirror in front of us candidly revealed all my emotions with complete clarity. I shifted away my gaze as if in escape, not daring to look at the mirror again.

MC: Xia Yan, are you still using this brand of shampoo?

The items on the shelves, the shampoo, the shower gel… were still the brands we used at home, eight years ago.

Xia Yan: Yeah. I had to buy new daily necessities after getting back, but I’m no good at picking them out…

Xia Yan: So I chose them based on our old habits – easy and saves me from worrying, haha.

In all these years, he still hadn’t forgotten those little habits. I suddenly felt a little happy.

But Xia Yan’s and my mouth-rinsing cups were a pair in the past, while they were now two completely different ones.

MC: What about your mouth-rinsing cup?

Xia Yan: There’s no one who sells that cup model anymore.

The small happiness that had just surged in my heart suddenly turned into a bit of disappointment.

MC: Is that so…

MC: Uh… about that, Xia Yan…

Xia Yan: Huh? What?

MC: A few days ago, I saw a pair of mouth-rinsing cups that look really nice online, and your cup just happens to be kinda worn… how about we change them together?

Xia Yan: Sure.

--

Xia Yan’s Home, Second Floor

After washing my face with Xia Yan, Sphinx called us, describing his action plan.

Just as Xia Yan had said, Sphinx was planning to continue hiding his identity. We would work out in the open while he remained hidden as we investigated together.

Sphinx: That’s what our plan is.

Sphinx: For these few days, I’ll first confirm whether there are other victims that corrupt detectives are harassing, and deal with their issues.

Sphinx: After confirming that those corrupt detectives have to do with Oedipus, you two can use other methods to investigate while hidden.

Xia Yan: Okay. Then we’ll wait for you to contact us.

Sphinx: Alright, that’s all-

MC: Wait, Sphinx.

The moment before Sphinx hung up, I called out to him.

Sphinx: Does Miss Lawyer have any other questions to bring up?

MC: I have some questions regarding our approaches towards cooperation. Sphinx, I acknowledge the reasons why you do not want to reveal your true identity right now.

MC: But we’ve already started investigating with you. You should at least display your sincerity, should you not?

Sphinx: …

Sphinx: Then how do you want me to display my sincerity, Miss Lawyer?

MC: Return Xia Yan’s box.

I heard a faint chuckle on the other side of the call.

MC: (What’s so funny about that?)

Xia Yan: Sphinx.

Perhaps because the pressure in Xia Yan’s voice, Sphinx’s brazen laughter stopped.

But there was a still faint layer of mischief in his voice.

Sphinx: Of course. I will get in touch with same-city speed delivery right after. You’ll be able to get your box today.

Sphinx: But after receiving it, I’d like to trouble both of you to examine it carefully.

Sphinx: Though you can consider me as a rogue, the point of stealing the box was to develop a cooperative relationship with you…

Sphinx: Logically, I wouldn’t play any tricks on these little things, but the two of you should still personally, carefully confirm it all.

Sphinx: For example, what if something happens with the delivery company and they break the box… then won’t I end up getting a really unfair accusation?

MC: Don’t worry, we will carefully look over the delivery.

Sphinx: If you say so, Miss Lawyer, then I can be at peace.

Sphinx: Although, Detective Xia Yan, why aren’t you speaking? You’re the most important involved party here. You, of all people, have got to be there to look over the delivery.

After Sphinx mentioned his name, Xia Yan’s face twisted very visibly.

Xia Yan: I… will.

MC: (Why does Sphinx sound like he’s messing with him…)

MC: (He hasn’t put something weird in the box to prank us, has he?)

--

These doubts continued until that afternoon, when we received the delivery Sphinx had sent.

I looked at the delivery box with severe caution.

MC: Xia Yan, could Sphinx have messed with something in the delivery box?

MC: I felt like there was something suspicious about his tone in the call.

Xia Yan: That guy definitely isn’t acting out of the goodness of his heart.

MC: No surprises there, you also feel the same…

Xia Yan: Mhmm… I messaged him after, asking what his goal was, but he just deliberately rambled on without saying anything important.

Xia Yan: How about I open it myself first, then call you over to see after confirming that there’s nothing wrong with it?

MC: That won’t do. No matter what happens, we’ve got to face it all together.

MC: Plus, didn’t you say before that Sphinx is an alright person? I bet that, at most, he’s just pranking us somewhere.

Xia Yan: … But I want to rescind that evaluation on him now.

Xia Yan sighed, then opened the package.

That box with the Sherlock Holmes pipe printed on it was wrapped in layers of bubble wrap, looking like it hadn’t suffered any bumps on the way here.

MC: He sure did give it enough protection. Just based on that, I’m willing to forgive him even if there is a prank somewhere.

Xia Yan: Well, that’s something he should be doing.

Xia Yan scoffed and opened the wooden box. The inside was filled to the brim with various little items.

His biology competition gold medals, the models he made himself… as well as many familiar objects. And what was piled at the very top of everything was a ring.

A ring with very crude worksmanship. The ring had been wound from copper into a circular shape, and a laminated four-leaf clover was sitting on the top.

This was the first thing that Xia Yan had personally made for me.

MC: Isn’t this the ring you made for me during kindergarten?

When we were still in kindergarten, we “played house” often, that popular child’s game.

One time, we got too into the game and thought that the ring braided from dog’s tail grass didn’t look nice enough, so we secretly took mom’s ring.

And then… we were both reprimanded severely.

Back then, I didn’t know how valuable the ring was or what its special meaning was, so I really didn’t understand why mom was unhappy.

MC: Back then, dad explained that the ring was one that he gave to mom, so only mom could wear it.

MC: But in the end, you hollered—

Back then, Xia Yan had earnestly yelled “Then I’ll just give her a ring”…

MC: …!

Xia Yan: …

We were long past those times when children’s words held no weight.

MC: (Does Xia Yan… still remember what he said back then…)

I lowered my head in a fluster, rubbing the ring in embarrassment.

When we were little, Xia Yan accidentally made the clover ring too big, so we comforted each other, saying that it would be just right if I wore it after we grew up.

And right now… I couldn’t help attempting to fit the ring on my middle finger.

MC: It’s on. The size is perfect…

Xia Yan: Yeah… perfect.

Xia Yan repeated the words in a whisper, then stared quietly at the four-leaf clover ring.

I stroked the ring on my hand. Suddenly…

MC: Xia Yan…

Xia Yan: Huh? What’s the matter?

MC: It seems like I can’t take off the ring…

Xia Yan: Huh?

Xia Yan held up my hand, trying to shift the ring, but the ring didn’t move in the slightest.

His brow wrinkled as he snatched a small plier from the toolbox on the table.

MC: What are you doing!

Alarmed, I stared at Xia Yan.

Xia Yan: I’ve got to hurry and cut off the ring, or else your finger will end up swollen.

MC: I refuse!

Xia Yan: Don’t fuss, this is just a toy ring. Your finger’s more important.

As he spoke, Xia Yan had already grabbed my hand. I rushed to cover the ring with my other hand, resisting desperately.

MC: No way! You gave this ring to me, so it’s mine! I refuse to let you break it!

Xia Yan: Jeez, I’ll make you another one in the future, okay? Be good.

MC: The one in the future is for the future, but you can’t break this ring either!

We traded fast verbal shots without realizing anything. Only after coming back to my senses did I notice… something wasn’t quite right.

MC: !!!

Xia Yan: …

Xia Yan: Sit tight, I’ll find some lubricating oil to see if it’ll work.

--

Xia Yan soon brought the lubricating oil. He applied some to my middle finger first, then tried to rotate the ring gently, trying to push it off.

MC: Ugh…!

Xia Yan immediately stopped.

Xia Yan: It hurts?

Xia Yan: Looks like this really won’t work.

Xia Yan sighed helplessly, then took a small plier from the toolbox.

MC: You’re…

Xia Yan: Don’t worry, I’ll be really careful. I’ll do my best to not break the ring.

Xia Yan: Don’t fidget, I don’t want to hurt you by accident.

To make working on it easier, Xia Yan half-knelt in front of me, holding up the hand with the ring gently.

His actions right now lent a particular ambiguity to the scene all of a sudden.

MC: …!

Xia Yan: What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?

MC: No… keep going.

How exactly… does Xia Yan see me?

Bit by bit, each scene after my reunion flooded my mind.

MC: (Xia Yan’s always carefully held onto this ring for so long…)

MC: (To me… does Xia Yan also…?)

As soon as this thought popped into my head, my heart started to beat wildly.

Although, why didn’t Xia Yan make it clear with me?

⊳ Out of caution ⊳ Because I didn’t give a response

MC: (Speaking of which, there’s often a lot online about long-time friends who are too scared to confess.)

MC: (They were afraid that if the romance failed, they’d lose an important friend.)

MC: (Xia Yan… probably also wanted to be cautious, so he didn’t say anything.)

MC: (If I do a little something, would he… understand?)

  ⊳ Out of caution ⊳ Because I didn’t give a response

MC: (If I think about it carefully, I think I’ve done a lot of low-EQ stuff…)

MC: (It’s all my fault…)

MC: (I should be able to make changes in time right now… what should I do to get Xia Yan to understand my emotions?)

--

I was just in the middle of my messy thoughts when I heard Xia Yan’s light voice.

Xia Yan: Alright, it’s off!

Xia Yan: Great Lawyer, hurry and inspect it to see if it’s perfectly fine.

MC: Absolutely perfect! Great Detective Xia, you’re way too amazing!

MC: (Either way… since I’m living at Xia Yan’s house now, I’ve got lots of time to figure something out.)

Xia Yan: What’s the matter? You seem a little absentminded.

MC: Not at all, just wondering about what we should eat for breakfast.

Xia Yan: I know several decent breakfast restaurants. Let’s go, I’ll take you over to try them!

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light: Chapter 9: Leads

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11

Chapter 9: Leads

“Caretaker, I present Ruta, Hollea, and Mizelle, Dryads of the South and East forests, to present their case to the caretaker,” Henrick bowed and the ladies stepped forward. Official business must be what let them walk on the road.

Agad whispered behind Seth, “Ask them the nature of their visit.”

“Ah, welcome,” Seth said, feeling a little silly, “Um, what is the nature of your visit?” His mouth quirked up at the pun. They all looked a little familiar, they must have crashed the Zzyzx opening and closing party.

“That information is private,” a blue haired one, Ruta, said. “It regards the recent adjustments of leadership and a possible danger to the fae of this preserve.”

Seth glanced at the sun, he’d guess it was a little past 10 AM, “Uh, how long is this going to take? Because if we could meet up tomorrow, that would work so much better for us.”

“I believe you will want to hear us now, Caretaker Sorenson,” the middle one said, standing a bit behind the other two. Pure black hair was tied up in a bun, rounded narrow black eyes demanded respect over high cheekbones. She was the only one armed.

“Alrighty then,” Seth said, turning to Agad, “Uh, where’s the best place to talk with…our friends?”

“Ladies, please follow me,” Agad said with a bow.

When the four of them were a little ways away, Seth stepped up to Henrick, “Hey, you missed some important stuff,” Seth whispered, “Grandma and Grandpa are in the winter study, they need your help and can catch you up. I’ll check on you guys after this, but you can go on without me.”

Henrick nodded, then reported at normal volume, “My rounds on the preserve show that everyone is restless. Far more restless than they usually are, so soon after the solstice when they tend to be tired. Repairs to the roads are happening on schedule, the Taurans have settled back into their domain, and many creatures are awaiting news of the next confrontation between you, your sister, and Celebrant.”

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint my adoring fans,” Seth joked, “I’ll make sure it’s a good one. I got to go.”

Agad had just turned a corner around the outer wall, and Seth ran to catch up. Sitting there was a room like the safe huts along the road. They weren’t restricted to mortals, however, and Mizelle was seated at a round table with seven chairs, while the other two waited outside.

Seth walked in, took a seat opposite the dryad and said, “Okay, what can I do for you?” he wished the other two dryads were here, Mizelle scared him a little.

From a pouch at her waist, Mizelle produced an hourglass, and turned it over. The number four was embossed in gold at the top. Mizelle glanced at him.

“Ah, nipsie. You are welcome at this table, if the caretaker gives you all his confidence,” Mizelle said graciously.

Once again, Seth had completely forgotten about his friend. A slight jerk in the corner of his eye where Agad was standing suggested that the wizard had too. Whoops, sorry about all those secrets.

Seth took Calvin from his pocket and placed him on table. He bowed, “My lady.”

Mizelle smiled, “Rise, small sword. Know that while the four of us talk, none can overhear us. This trinket thought up and enchanted by my sister Nika ensures that.”

“Marvelous,” Agad said, examining the item.

“Yes, but we are here for business,” Mizelle said, “Specifically, your sister, where she is, and what she is doing.”

“Do you know where she is?” Seth asked, “Ronodin and the Sphinx captured her after she lost her memory. We’re looking, but haven’t found anything yet.”

Mizelle slammed a hand on the table, “How could you let that happen!”

“Hey, Ronodin got the drop on Bracken,” Seth shot back, trying to cover up that she had made him jump, “I don’t see why Kendra is any more at fault than him.”

“Oh don’t worry, my brother won’t be spared my ire either. The fool just barely got out of captivity, and he so quickly jumps back in.” Mizelle spat. “When will that fool learn to keep his horns where he can see them!”

Seth pulled back, “Wait, brother?”

Agad blinked, “Excuse me for not recognizing you earlier. You are a unicorn?”

Mizelle nodded, “I am the eldest child of their royal majesties, and the leader of the warrior fairies of our realm.

“You’re… more intense, than I expected a unicorn to be,” Seth admitted. He’d met Bracken, the Fairy Queen, and the Fairy King, and he’d never seen a look as intense as the one that Mizelle was shooting him right now.

“Yes,” was all she said. “I take it Kendra did not explain the full nature of her abilities?”

“I am familiar with the abilities of Fairy Kind,” Agad said. “But I fear their nature is a closely held secret. I assumed it functioned similar to how fairies share their power with the fairy struck.”

Mizelle nodded, “Kendra had permission to inform her brother and grandparents. It appears she did not take it. Kenda is literally a receptacle for the Fairy Queen’s power in the mortal world. It is similar to the relationship between the Fairies and their fairy struck, but instead of a gift of shared magic, it is an open spring. She is a direct connection to Mother and the magic that fuels Fairy Realm, and therefore, is a direct weakness. This is the secret, and of the few people that understand this magic, Ronodin does.”

Seth paled, “Ronodin is hurting Kendra?”

Mizelle shook her head, “Worse. It appears he is taking advantage of her memory loss, and teaching her to poison her magic and my mother by proxy. He is leading Kendra quickly down the path he used so many years ago to corrupt his own horns.”

“Kendra would never do that.”

“That is obviously what my Mother thought,” Mizelle said drily, “With effort and training, Kendra is able to use the wellspring of fairy magic inside her and craft magic. Not as a wizard or a unicorn crafts, but as mortal does. Should she tend to a herb garden, those plants will take on magical properties. Should she weave thread with intent to protect, the cloth will become armor. When trained, her abilities are a fairy’s creation magic inspired by human emotions and ingenuity, a power Mother should not have released on the world so easily or in one so young, but here we are. Ronodin is teaching her to craft curses and items to harm and poison. It will pervert her magic, and the effects will reach straight into my mother’s heart.”

“Oh dear,” Agad said, head sinking into his hands. “I am getting too old for this. How is the Fairy Queen?”

“She is attentive and well-attuned to her magic. She noticed the change immediately, and analyzed it as much as she could before cutting her connection with Kendra completely. An unfortunate necessity, especially since my mother can’t undo the changes she wrought in Kendra and is merely cutting the girl loose, but it is the only solution that slows down the taint.” Mizelle said, “Kendra is much farther from aid than we feared.”

“What do you know about where she is?” Seth asked.

“Kendra was in the realm opposite my mother,” Mizelle explained, and held up a hand at Seth’s outraged look, “Not the demon prison. The realm of the Underking. Demons can survive surrounded by light, and as my father has shown, beings of light can survive surrounded by demons. The denizens of the Underking are fundamentally incompatible with my kind. Their darkness will extinguish our light, and our light will extinguish their darkness. Many fairies have died, trying to light up the darkness for even a moment. Mortals refer to the Underking’s domain as the Phantom Isle.”

“How does the Queen know that’s where Kendra is being kept? Does she know where the Phantom Isle is currently located?” Agad asked.

“It is part of the connection Mother shares with Kendra, is it unequal to even what she shares with her family.” Mizelle said, massaging her temples, “The magic flow remained strong, but that is the only place on earth where her senses are truly dulled. Ronodin is somehow protecting Kendra’s light from going out, but he is only preserving it in order to mutate it. If he corrupts Kendra to a level near his own corruption, the source that Kendra and Mothers draw from will become poisoned, and the realm of light falls.”

“Okay, Phantom Isle, how do we get there?” Seth asked.

Agad shook his head, “It moves around. It has connections to our world all over the place, but very few beings are able to utilize them. The Underking’s realm is the home of phantoms, zombies, liches, wraiths, and every other possible thing that made a deal to give up living for longer life.”

“Okay,” Seth said, “Not a popular vacation spot. Is it an actual island? Cause that explains the barrel underwater bit.”

They both nodded. Mizelle didn’t consider any information about barrels to be important, and didn’t ask.

“Do you know anything else about Kendra?” Seth asked.

Mizelle shook her head, “I can tell you that it will take time to turn her. Mother felt shadows passing over the soul, but that is the first step to a long descent that Ronodin has taken over the course of his life to replace all his light with darkness. However, Ronodin is cunning, he is skilled. It will be that much easier if Kendra has no memories of goodness. Unfortunately, Mother will not be able to continually check on her.

“Think of the source that Kendra and Mother draw from as a well with a pipe directly to the Fairy Queen. From the Fairy Queen, magic flows to all creatures of light. When making Kendra Fairy Kind, Mother expanded the width of the pipe, and created a secondary pull from the Source before the magic reaches her to reach Kendra instead. An offshoot pipe before my mother’s reservoir. Kendra’s poison is travelling back up the pipe towards the source, and to prevent immediate contamination, Mother had to build a wall separating the streams of magic. Because of her actions, it will take the corruption much longer to reach Mother. Kendra will have to poison the source first before it reaches the Fairy Kingdom.”

“That’s fascinating, is that really how fairy magic works?” Agad asked.

Mizelle shot him a deadpan, “No. It is incredibly more complicated. I am describing astrophysics to someone who hasn’t figured out how to make fire yet. But it is a sufficient metaphor for what you need to know.”

“Could you give us a timeframe?” Agad asked.

“That depends on Kendra’s resistance,” Mizelle said. “With the circumstances as they are…find her before the fall equinox. That is the soonest Kendra could reach that level of corruption. Find her as soon as you can, but that is your deadline. We are unable to help you more without declaring another war that we are sorely ill prepared to handle. As a mortal, Kendra does not belong there, but nor is she banned from it.”

“I’m going to get her back much sooner,” Seth swore, meeting the intimidating gaze full on.

Mizelle met his gaze, and when he didn’t waver, she gave him a small nod, “I don’t doubt your courage or will, and I pray for your success. Of all the beings to reach the heart of the Underking’s realm, a shadow charmer has a better chance than most. Not a good one, but you have proven yourself before.”

Mizelle stood up, “Hurry, but do not go unprepared. I will be busy managing the affairs of the Fairy Realm, let no one know of its weakness. You have been a good ally to us before, Seth Sorenson and Agad the Young. Unfortunately, we must rely on you once more.”

There was still a little bit of sand left in the hourglass, and Seth stood up too. “It’s my sister. I’ll dig a hole there myself if I have to.”

“Mortals,” Mizelle said, somewhere between scoffing and amusement, “I did not inherit Mother’s love of mortals, nor did any of my sisters. Only Bracken claims that. In addition to most of her looks, it’s why he is her favorite. I, personally, am still struggling to see the appeal.”

“Wait until we…er,” the sand in the hourglass ran out, “Wait until we manage your request, and you will see what mortals can do when people we care about are at stake. I think you’ll figure out why we’re pretty cool.”

“I await proof, Caretaker,” Mizelle said, offering a hand. Seth shook it. Agad stood up and shook her hand as well.

After seeing the envoy of “dryads” off, Seth didn’t move. He was hoping that any spy had left him for more fruitful pastures after seeing they couldn’t overhear what the dryads wanted.

“Send Marat to the stables,” Seth said, quietly, waving at the departing figures from the archway. “See which mounts are interested in another adventure. Then go to Grandma and Grandpa, if their plans look good, approve it.”

“Where will you be?”

“Shadow hunting. I’ll take a late lunch.”

He turned back towards the Keep, speaking at a normal volume, “Their issue wasn’t that big, right? Henrick can help them.”

“If you tell him to,” Agad agreed. “First we should weather tonight.”

Seth started walking towards the winter study, but sidetracked into a…music room? They had a music room? The map was going to be useful all on its own.

He turned off the lights, drew his sword, and started walking. He tried to turn off all the lights around him, but it was hard when only some of the rooms has electricity. Most were gas lamps, and for about the hundredth time he wished he was a fully trained shadow charmer. According to the Sphinx, a shadow charmer can dim flames, bring cold, and a bunch of other cool stuff that would be really useful for figuring out if there was a spy in the Keep.

He decided to start at the top and make his way down, following Tess’s group wasn’t going to be any good if the spy was doing that already.

Luckily, the Keep was meant to be a fortress, and there no windows on the ground floor. When he approached the winter study, he listened carefully, looking for another spy, but didn’t find anything. Agad was talking about the best way to inform the staff, so Seth moved on.

Seth made his way to the dungeons next, checking various rooms as he followed the strained whispers of the undead. Unable to see in the dark, he stuck close to the walls. He approached the room with the barrel in it, hidden amongst the empty cells. One of the minotaur’s, not Brunwin, was guarding it along with a dwarf.

Seth imagined himself as part of the darkness, and tested how close he could get.

Seth could have stabbed the Minotaur through the chest. He was within the torchlight hanging near the entrance, but with the sword helping him, still the guards hadn’t noticed. Then Seth was actually standing behind the minotaur, reaching for the gate, when the dwarf saw him, cursing in dwarvish, as he pulled his shortsword free.

The Minotaur spun around, and Seth held up his hands without letting go of his sword, “Don’t attack! It’s only me,” Seth said. “Sorry, I was just trying to see how far my shadewalking and this sword could get me without being noticed.

The Minotaur lowered his axe, shaking his head, “I didn’t see you at all. I didn’t smell or hear you either.”

“And you can do all that now?” Seth asked.

They both nodded.

“Okay, good to know,” Seth said, “I’m going to go in the cell, check up on the barrel. Is there anyone in there right now?”

“Agatha,” the dwarf said, “She’s keeping watch over your note.” The dwarf handed him the key.

“We got a believable threat to Blackwell that’s supposed to come tonight,” Seth said, “My grandparents will fill you in soon, but be as vigilant as you can. Okay?”

They both nodded and Seth walked in. Agatha was apparently one of the old women, she was knitting an enormous sock, and smiled pleasantly when she saw him.

“Ahh, Young Master. The letter remains untouched and unmoved,” she said.

“Err, awesome. Good job,” Seth said. He felt a little uncomfortable having the old woman be the last or first line of defense should something happen with the barrel, but something about the click of her needles made him think she wasn’t as harmless as she appeared. There was no one else hiding in the cell with her, so he walked back out and continued towards the Blackwell.

As he wound closer to the Blackwell, he heard Doren, “Look, it’s really not necessary to go closer. Seth even told us not to touch this place.”

“He isn’t the boss of me,” Knox said, a slight tremor in his voice. He wondered how bad it was this close to the Blackwell for people without magical fear immunity, “We should look in, figure out the shape for the map, then we can go.”

“I don’t want to go any closer,” Tess said, almost crying.

“You don’t have to,” Knox said, sounding braver. “I’ll just crack open the door.”  

Seth waited, pulling himself into a little nook around the corner of the prison door. It was round indent, about three feet deep, and he pressed himself to the wall, focusing on listening.

“Well, it won’t open. And if it’s locked for us, its probably locked for everyone one else. Move along now, we still need to get through the first floor before lunch. I for one, don’t plan on missing a meal because we stared at a door too long,” Newel said, “Off we go.”

Seth watched, holding his sword ready. Any tails the group had would have to back track, if Seth remembered right. He kept his eyes peeled for movement, ears alert for the sound of shoes separate from the others. Surprisingly, the ghostly wailing wasn’t overwhelming like he remembered the first time. Seth could firmly place it within his head, and it quieted while he focused on his non-shadow hearing.

His friends passed without a sound. Newel was holding the torch, the rest their papers and clipboards.

Seth waited for Tess to point to him and ask to talk, but her eyes slid right past his hiding spot. He felt the light touch him, but a single torch wasn’t enough to take away his advantage in this area. That meant that while she could see through distractor spells, shadow magic eluded her. It all depended on what the spy was using.

The group continued forward, and Seth waited.

And waited.

He made himself wait longer, just because time flew when you were waiting for something to happen. A trained spy would know that, even though the group was out of earshot.

Nothing happened.

It didn’t make sense. If the spy was tailing this group, which he thought any reasonable spy would be, he or Tess should have seen the person. This was a dead end! The spy wasn’t tailing his grandparents, he didn’t think. Any plan of the Sphinx’s and Ronodin’s wouldn’t be thwarted by increased security. Did the person stick to Agad, knowing the old wizard was the most powerful of their group? That didn’t seem right either, Agad had been as clueless as the rest of them in the meeting, and Seth had put him on magic defenses, which were already confirmed to be holding strong. Tailing Seth? The Dryads and Mizelle’s item would have found the spy if they were using distractor spells, and Seth would have found them using shadow disguise magic.

Sending two children and the satyrs through the nooks of the lower levels clearly presented the most unassuming group, and therefore the most suspicious. Considering they hadn’t even considered a spy until mid-morning, the spy wouldn’t have assumed Seth to be a good enough strategist to do what he did. Seth hadn’t been banking on the spy following this group, but even if the spy wasn’t listening in on the War Room meeting, the four of them tromping through the underground should have caught the spy’s attention.

Seth was looking at this wrong. Or maybe it was crazy, thinking there was a spy already here. Maybe the spy had known about the dead end and hadn’t bothered to follow them towards the Blackwell already, and instead stopped before —

Seth froze, then immediately forced himself to relax. He stood up straight, as though getting ready to leave and stepped from the nook.

 Seth spun with all his strength, sword extended. Steel sparked against stone wall. A dark figure crouched, sparks landing on their hat. Seth had put too much force into the swing, and had trouble pulling back. The figure used that millisecond to run. An arm shot out, shoving him.

“Hey!” Seth yelled, scrambling to his feet. “Intruder!”

Seth ran, eyes darting everywhere, looking for the figure, catching the barest flicker of movement turning corners. He hit the main hallway, and there was nothing. No doors swinging, no locks rattling, no flickers of coat. Seth hurried forward and reached the cell with the barrel, and found the minotaur and the dwarf, braced and ready for action.

“Did you see anyone?” Seth asked as he rushed closer.

They jumped, only spotting him as he spoke.

“Right, new plan,” Seth said, putting a hand on his head, trying to think through this.

He was planning on taking the barrel with him out of Wyrmroost in the late afternoon. It had seemed so much more likely that they were going to attack at night. Now that the spy had been spotted, would their enemies try to move up the plan? What did Seth want the spy to think? If Seth did nothing, the spy would know that something was going to happen.

If Seth saw the intruder, and Tess didn’t, that meant shadow magic. Being unable to see in the dark meant that even if he could see past the shadow magic, he wouldn’t be able to find the intruder easily. That was a dumb trait. There had to be some aspect of being a shadow charmer that let him sense others in the dark.

But it was reality, and it meant that keeping their biggest weakness at the bottom of the dungeon, near the Blackwell, was a mistake.

“Okay, uh, remind me of your names?” Seth asked apologetically.

“Borum,” the dwarf said.

“Romnus,” grunted the minotaur.

“Right, Borum, you’re on guard duty with me. We’re moving the barrel, Romnus is going to carry it. I know this is one of the most protected areas, but we’re dealing with someone even better at shadow stuff than me. This is going too the High Judgement Court,” Seth said.

“Where?” Borum asked.

Seth opened the door to the cell, “Oh, uh, the center thing at the top. It doesn’t have any walls?”

“He means the pavilion,” Romnus said. Seth put his back to the cell door as Romnus explained the situation to Agatha.

“You lead, I’ll bring up the rear,” Seth said. Borum nodded, and they made their way out of the dungeons. Seth’s eyes were starting to hurt from spending so long trying to decipher the darkness, but he didn’t stop looking until they made it all the way to the top.

They attracted a trail of people, running into Tess’s group on the first floor, then Marat and Agad as they made their way to the kitchens.

They all asked Romnus, Agatha, and Borum questions, but they were directed to Seth who shook his head, motioning for everyone to follow quietly.

With everyone gathered at the pavilion, the harsh sunlight let Seth finally lower his sword. He sheathed it and looked in the barrel. The note remained, having shifted only a little bit during the trip.

“Okay,” Seth said, “I found the spy. Didn’t get a good look at them, but they are definitely using concealment shadow magic to hide themselves. Something I can sort of see through anyway. Which means its definitely going to be weaker up here.”

“Until nightfall,” Romnus said. “New moon tonight.”

Seth nodded, “Yes. This will still need to be guarded, but I already feel a lot better with it away from the Blackwell. Any conversations you have from now on, we should probably assume we’re being spied on. With the barrel up here, assuming they still go forward with their plan, the spy will have to wait until nightfall. If their plans involved the Blackwell, they’re going to have a lot farther to go, giving us a chance to stop them.”

“Is there anything else we can do? Tess didn’t find anyone,” Knox said.

“Oi, Tess was looking for people?” Doren said, “I thought we were making a map!”

“I thought the point was to get the spy to follow us,” Newel said.

Doren looked betrayed, “You knew it wasn’t about my map making skills!”

“Guys, it was all those things,” Seth said. He crouched and put a hand on Tess’s shoulder, who looked scared, “Hey, you did great. I never would have found the spy without you.”

He waited until she nodded and gave him a smile.

Seth stood up, “I want your map in the War room, because there’s always the chance that we missed a weakness down there. Agad, I want you to go over it with Marat after lunch, see if everything looks like you remember. I’m pretty sure the spy was following you guys the whole time, which means the rest of our conversations were probably private. Let’s head down to lunch, see if we can think of anything else. I’m starving.”

The Satrys whooped and hurried down, Tess and Knox following after.

“I have been giving some thought to where you need to go,” Agad said. “And I am starting to believe it was a mistake to think you didn’t need to be trained in your Shadow Charmer abilities. A fully trained shadow charmer would have been able to sense the shadow and concealment magic, and would be able to sense it now.”

“I’ve had plenty of people offer,” Seth admitted, “No one I felt like I could trust. Kendra told me that a demon she knew vouched for other demons that hate the dragons a lot more than they hated humans, but I already forgot their names. She didn’t want me learning from demons anyway.”

“But still she told you,” Agad said gently, “She would have let the information die with her memory if she didn’t trust your judgement. Demons are different among the denizens of the magical world, they are not always bound to their word as Fairies and Underbeings are. In order to deal with demons successfully, you must always have your goals aligned. Is there anywhere she would have written it down?”

“The journal of secrets,” Seth admitted, “But she writes that by umite candle and in fairy languages.”

Agad hummed, “There is a surprising store of Umite candles in the stockroom, and I believe that with Tess, fairy languages aren’t the bar Kendra trusted them to be.”

Seth grinned, changing direction at a hallway, “It looks like Tess has some homework. Do you think being a Shadow Charmer would help me rescue Kendra?”

“Having your abilities fully trained would indeed let you walk among the denizens of the Phantom Isle. From what I understand, you could no more walk on the Phantom Isle unseen than you could walk in the Fairy Realm without the Queen’s knowledge.” Agad said, “But if there is a way to take back what belongs in the light, a trained shadow charmer has a much better chance than many others.”

Agad stopped Agatha, who they had caught up to in the halls, and requested a set of Umite candles be brought to the kitchen. She nodded, and went to do it.

“The staff has been put on alert, watch and rotations set, for your information,” Agad said.

“Great,” Seth replied opening the door to his sister’s room. He immediately went to the desk in the corner and looked at the underside. It was much lower to the ground, and the journal wasn’t there. He checked Kendra’s other hiding spots, and in her desk for good measure. Agad watched.

“I have the feeling this isn’t your first time snooping on your sister,” Agad said.

Seth pulled the Journal of Secrets from the inside pocket of her duffle bag, which had been folded to fit inside the bottom of her laundry basket.

“Sisters, you know?” he said, grinning and tucking the book under his arm. “I wonder if Patton finished writing in it before or after the stingbulb was made? The first half is his journal, the rest of it is Kendra’s.”

Patton. The stingbulb had only a day left, how could they make sure Patton was used to the fullest extent?

Seth once again changed course.

“The kitchen is this way,” Agad said, amused, “It seems you really do need a map.”

“We want to go somewhere no has ever been, that constantly moves locations, and survive to tell about it?” Seth asked, smiling again, “Ten bucks says Patton knows where he left the t-shirt.”

 Patton’s eyes lit up, but the rest of his features had only a hint of amusement, “Seth, I hope you aren’t suggesting that you think I rang the Underking’s doorbell for the fun of it? There isn’t a fairy shrine there.”

“Patton,” Seth said, cracking his own smile, “I’m obligated to let you know that if you haven’t ding-dong-ditched the Underking, it’s going to be a crushing letdown for one of your biggest fans.”

Patton laughed, “I had a good reason, I swear. But the particulars of it elude me. Stingbulbs don’t retain a perfect memory, you know. There is a ship, mildly haunted, that a shadow charmer should be able to strong arm into giving a lift.”

“Lady Luck?” Seth asked.

Patton raised his eyebrows, “You’re familiar with it?”

Seth winced, “Yeah, you left some stuff for me with Cormic, and we used her to get to the Shoreless Isle to stop Zzyxx. I think the bell and whistle ended up at Fablehaven, but I left the music box in the Presence’s cabin. I didn’t think I’d survive, much less need it again.”

“You’ll get a lot farther if you assume you will survive,” Patton said, stroking his mustache, “And if you don’t, you leave some nice pieces for the next adventurer to pick up. It is possible the music box remains in the cabin, but if not, a Shadow Charmer can summon the presence of spirits, I hear.”

Something else he’d need to be trained on. He caught Agad’s eye, and nodded. Training him had to be part of their plan before they went to the Phantom Isle.

“Can you think of another way?” Seth asked.

Patton shrugged, “The old stories suggest sailing to the end of the world and falling off it, but that has obvious issues. There are many caves that lead to the Underking’s domain, but those are also constantly shifting and extremely well hidden.

“The Underking has a clever boat he uses to ferry his servants across the water, but I don’t know of any others like it. There are also certain fairies that strive to find their way to the Phantom Isle, they were born with a need to light up the deepest darkness. Called Nova Songs, they are exceptionally rare, but they could lead a normal ship to your destination.”

“Right,” Seth said, “Could you write those down?”

“Of course, my boy,” Patton said, accepting a piece of paper from Tanu. He started writing. “I’m glad I could help this much. I get the sense Patton was hoping I’d be able to be more of an assistance than what I have been. Aside from getting the winged mounts, I fear I haven’t lived up to Patton’s hopes.”

“Those mounts are more important than you think,” Seth said, thinking of their plan for escape. Was there anything Patton could do in the next half a day? Probably not with Kendra, that was clearly going to take longer.

“Actually,” Agad said, “There is something you can do. I refrained from asking about your journey here before, but is it true you hid one of the keys to the vault in the Dragon Temple?”

“I suppose I can’t make myself any less popular with the dragons than I am right now,” Patton said, handing Seth the note detailing his ideas, “I did indeed. I had a couple of important items that let me get past the guardians, a lot of time, and an urgent need.”

“You used the Unicorn horn to get past Stilletta, didn’t you?” Seth said.

Patton arched an eyebrow, “As did you, I assume.”

“We killed her,” Seth replied, “The unicorn horn fed by Kendra’s unending power helped us purify her to a crisp. By the time she figured out to use her claws, she was dead.”

Patton grinned, “Quite clever. Though taking a dragon’s life shouldn’t be done lightly, Stiletta was a piece of work. I procured myself a set of Pegasus boots. Allows for increased speed while hovering three inches above the ground. That, along with a scarf that turned the wearer invisible while moving, allowed me to make it into the Temple and out again.”

“How would you like to revisit it?” Agad asked. “The dragons have declared war, voiding the treaty that gave them the right to certain treasures. We will be needing them back. Any information on the status of the temple guardians would be most welcome.”

“I believe I can do that,” Patton said, “How will I be able to convey the information back to you? I will likely expire before I can make the return trip.”

“I believe I have something that will do the trick,” Agad said, “Follow me to the library. Seth, I believe your stomach is still growling, why don’t you take your sister’s journal to Tess, see if you can scrounge up any secrets that might have been lost with Kendra’s memory.”

“Hey Tanu? When can you be all packed up?” Seth asked.

Tanu nodded, mixing two vials. “Patton’s help was greatly appreciated. I will be ready to go by 4 this afternoon.”

Marat came up to him as he approached the kitchen, but thankfully didn’t try to pull him in a different direction. He really was starving.

“The flying mounts have agreed. The destination?”

“Err, Fablehaven, I guess,” Seth said, looking around. “Think they can go that far?”

“It is approximately 1600 miles,” Marat said, “It would take a dragon three days, two days without rest. I do not know how fast your mounts fly, but I would plan for a week.”

“A week? I don’t have that much time to spend roadtripping,” Seth said, “After we get to human towns, think we could buy plane tickets to Fablehaven? They’re Luvians, they should be able to make it to Fablehaven without riders.”

“I will consult with them, though that plan has merit,” Marat said. They made it into the kitchen and Seth finally got a lunch of barbeque and some kind of mashed potato thing.

Seth dived in.

“When do you intend to implement the second part of your plan?”

“You’ve been up to something else?” Grandpa asked, sitting down with his own plate beside him.

Seth swallowed and grinned, “Always,” he said. To Marat he said, “It’s what, 1 o’clock? Let’s save it for 4:30-ish, have everyone gather at the High Judgement Pavilion. That’s when Tanu will be ready to go.”

“It’s only because I heard about your encounter with our spy that I’m letting you get away with your secrets Seth Sorenson,” Grandpa warned. “We will be discussing this.”

“I appreciate your input as my assistant,” Seth said, nodding.

“Mind your grandfather,” Grandma said.

“Yes Grandma.”

[coltondoesgreece]

Dirty Laundry

Hi Readers, and Happy Wednesday!

Today I am writing from my splendidly sunny terrace. It is Wednesday, which means it was market day in my neighbourhood. This morning after the gym, Aaron and I went shopping and came home with tote bags full of oranges, lemons, avocados, tomatoes, olives, eggs, feta, and cucumber. Can you guess what we made for lunch? Minus a spoiled avocado, the produce was a hit. Incredibly fresh and flavourful. We quickly soft boiled some eggs (which we learned from the vendor were fresh from the farm yesterday) and had a Greek salad with some protein on the side. Chef’s kiss. 

The past week has been really peaceful. I think I’ve finally surrendered to the pace of this city. On the weekend, Aaron and I had plans to take a four hour ferry ride to the island of Syros. However, very last minute, I found out I had a casting on Saturday afternoon. We decided to improvise and instead of lounging on the beaches of Syros we found a rooftop pool at a hotel just around the corner from the apartment. When I say we found a rooftop pool, I don’t think you understand... This hotel was renovated in 2019 - the views, the rooms, the service - wow did it ever blow us away! If you follow either of us on instagram, I’m sure you’re able to tell that we enjoyed ourselves. As a birthday present to both of us (we’re 2 weeks apart.. plus a few years) we decided to stay the night so that we could have access to the rooftop for the entire weekend. As an added bonus, the hotel had a laundry service. This was music to my ears, as I absolutely loath laundromats and I’ve been here for a month. While I packed heavily (to say the least), it was time to do laundry. We checked into the hotel, dropped our dirty laundry off and hit the pool for some much needed sun. This weekend was the perfect way to celebrate, but also truly rest and relax all at the same time. It wasn’t until check out on Sunday that I realized the 4 Euro I thought I was paying for the entire laundry service was actually per item. Yes, that is right... I spent nearly 140 Canadian Dollars for clean socks and underwear... I don’t want to hear it. I beat myself up enough about it already. I will forever read the fine print from now on. I am a fool. Leave me alone. I have clean clothes and I’m choosing to forget the rest. 

Moving on, Monday was a whirlwind! I had four castings and a self tape to do for an upcoming TVC. I got lost twice. Went to the wrong location once. Have you ever watched America’s Next Top Model? This was my truest version of that show. I felt insane. But I think it paid off. I did make it to every casting (on time, even) and felt really good about the tape I made. I showed up to the last casting in a bit of a sweat, and the designer was sweet enough to offer me a chair and a glass of water before trying on his gorgeous clothes - I’m sure this was partly because he didn’t want me to get his blazers sweaty. Anyway, I survived. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been a bit concerned with the pace of which things have been moving the past few weeks. I decided to bring it up to my Greek agency and they assured me things haven’t been slow at all. In fact, a lot goes on behind the scenes that I’m not even privy to. For example, because of COVID, some businesses aren’t actually seeing models in person. They’ll look at my photos online and decide from those alone if I’m right for their job or not. After a great conversation with my agents, I found out I’m an option for five upcoming jobs, three of which are commercials, and one of which will require me to stay in Greece for an extra week. We’ll see what happens, but I am hoping, with all of my power, that these are meant to be! 

What else can I tell you? I finished a book, The Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller (excellent read), and I started a new book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde. I can’t believe I haven’t read it before. I picked up a copy in Canada before I left and it just felt like now was the time to finally read it. I’ve read a lot of Wilde’s plays, and even acted in a version of one of his letters, but I don’t think I’ve ever read one of his novels. It’s fun. He takes a long time to make a simple point, and I think I’m enjoying that because it feels similar to the speed at which things happen here. It’s also romantic, and beautiful, and feels very European. I’m in the mood for that type of thing. Check it out, maybe?

After a month here I’m finding myself excited to get back to Canada. I’m excited to be in Toronto again. Ideas are constantly percolating in my brain about what I want to do next. I’ve still been auditioning, and talking to my Canadian agent about future projects while I’m here. I’m excited to get the ball rolling on goals that I’ve been wanting to accomplish. I think this trip has been a great escape, a great opportunity, but also a great reminder of what’s possible once I get back. 

Two-ish weeks left? Let’s see what happens! 

Thanks for reading, 

C

[arc852]

Infinitesimal!Sides Masterpost

 A masterpost of all my Sanders Sides G/t fics.

The Four: Thomas adopts four tinies after helping them settle into the shelter. The tinies are now on a mission to get him to understand. | Complete |

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

The Four One-Shots: Takes place after The Four and in the same universe.

Dyeing For Purple

Finding Home: A mini-series featuring a tiny kid Virgil and his hardships before (and after) finding his true home.

Act I

Act II

Stay at Home Dad

School Arc (1)

School Arc (2)

School Arc (3)

School Arc (4)

School Arc (5)

School Arc (6)

Only Trying to Help: Patton decides to help Virgil. Things start out kind of rough.

Part 1

Part 2

New Home: Roman buys Patton and brings him home.

New Home

Flower Crowns

Buying Logan

Scrapped AU: Various scenes in an au I have abandoned.

Logan and Patton

Roman and Virgil

Reverse Roman and Virgil

Massage

Living On The Giant Side AU: Virgil, a human, moves into a house with three giants.

On The Giant Side

Overwhelmed

Shrunken Anxiety AU: Roman shrinks Virgil down and keeps him as a sort of pet.

You’re Freezing, Come Here

Ask blog

Space Barista AU: Virgil workes at Starbucks when an interesting customer comes in. They strike up a friendship.

Part 1

Part 2

Fairytale AU: Roman, about be crowned King, suddenly gets cursed by his brother and winds up wandering through a forest at only a few inches tall. It’s there he meets the Big Bad Wolf.

Part 1

Part 2

The Dime Project: Virgil, the lead scientist on Project Dime, finally gets to test the device. And what better way to test it, then to bring something…small, over.

Part 1

Can Humans Be Kind AU:

Can Humans Be Kind? - When Roman finds himself cornered by a rat, a human steps in to help. But can he really trust this human?

Can Humans Be Kind? (2) - Roman has been living at Janus’ house for a week now and finally thinks his leg is healed enough to start climbing again. It isn’t and now he finds himself injured again, worse than before. Will Janus help him again?

The Ratatouille Theory - Roman had just planned to test his theory but now he finds himself hitching a ride with Janus to work. Not good.

October Prompts:

Day 1 - Fear

Day 2 - Cage

Day 3 - Outside

Day 4 - Moon

Day 5 - Rat

Day 6 - Pocket

One-Shots:

The Cave - Thomas and the sides go camping. Things get weird when they find a mysterious cave.

Bottled Emotions - When Thomas bottles his feelings, Patton is put in a literal bottle.

Not Useless - Logan reassures Patton that he is not useless.

Bop - Virgil bops Roman on the nose.

Keys and Trust - Thomas shows Patton his keys.

Space - Virgil reveals he’s used to feeling insignificant to Logan. Logan is quick to comfort.

Cold and Lost, I Hold You Close - Logan is a size shifter. When Logan and Patton get lost in the snow, Logan has a choice to make.

All in a Snap - Roman takes the prank war a step too far.

A Different Kind of Perspective Change - Virgil has a nightmare where he’s the small one.

A Small Prank - Roman pranks Virgil. Things backfire.

Gifted - Virgil is bought by Roman as a gift for Patton.

Meteor Shower - Virgil discovers Logan the night of a meteor shower.

Wrong Feeling - Patton finds himself missing his past abuser. Roman comforts him.

Sing Me a Song, Please? - Thomas reassures Roman that it’s okay for him to sing.

Not Alone - Thomas, after seeing Roman cry himself to sleep one too many times, decides to go and comfort him despite the fact humans aren’t supposed to know about him.

No Need to Worry - Virgil has a nightmare and starts to doubt things. Thomas comes in to help stop those doubts.

Hug! - A little something for Hug a Tiny Day. Roman and Patton are in search of Logan and Virgil in order to give them a hug.

You Deserve Better - Virgil thinks Roman deserves a friend better than himself and says as such.

A Sleepy Morning - Just some good ole’ Moxiety cuddles.

In A Jar -  Logan gets trapped in a jar and must now face the human who did it.

Mushrooms - Bullet point story; Logan shrinks after eating soup Patton made out of mushrooms from the imagination.

Not Sick - Logan says he isn’t sick, Virgil disagrees.

Homeless - Patton is homeless. And lonely. One night, while settling down in an alleyway, he meets someone. They both end up helping each other.

Toy Inside - Roman finds himself trapped in a cereal box that promises a toy inside. The cereal is then bought.

Unexpected Help - A giant finds a human injured near the giant side of town and takes him back to his own home to patch him up.

Mistaken Observations - Some fairies are used as decor pieces. Fashion items that some humans wear. Logan is sure this is the case with Roman and Virgil.

Loneliness and Desperation - Patton is so lonely…he can’t find it in himself to care anymore.

Fairy Hunt and Capture - Roman drags his brother, Virgil, to go try and catch themselves some fairies. Logan and Patton are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Visiting - Virgil goes and visits his giant of a friend.

Meet-Up - The human knows that they’re there and asks to meet. Thomas goes alone despite Virgil’s warnings.

Experiment Gone Wrong - Logan’s experiment has quite literally blown up in his face. Good thing Roman is there to help him out. Oh, and tease him.

Letting Go - Logan is a giant who has escaped a lab. In the middle of the forest, he reveals some things to his friend.

3 Times Virgil Felt Small and the 1 Time He Didn’t - Virgil has always been small but lately it seems he’s been smaller than ever.

Cute G/t Side Drabbles - Short and sweet drabbles

A Well Oiled Cupcake Making Team - Roman and Patton make cupcakes together.

On Opposite Sides - It’s been five years since the aliens have taken over the earth. All this time the humans have been confined to city limits, watched over by the giant guards surrounding them. Virgil is a human who only has the comfort of his friend Roman via Skype.

Cared For - Virgil is letting his studying get in the way of important things. Like sleeping and eating. So Patton does something about it.

Wrong Words Said - Logan is still getting used to the whole ‘being a dad’ thing.

Mistaken - Virgil thinks someone is in his room. Unfortunately for Patton, he thinks it’s someone else.

Lunch Deal - Roman has been captured but things take a different turn than he expected.

Ambidextrous - Roman is ambidextrous and decides to show off.

[itoldsunset]

ok here are some of the highlights, translated! it’s really long so i put it under the cut.

4:22 RC asked p’boss how billkin was able to cry that hard at the end of episode 4 and p’boss said that prior to filming the scene he had already workshopped and explained everything to billkin, but when it came to actually shooting the scene it was up to billkin’s instincts in terms of how heavy the scene would turn out. but they helped each other build the emotions by thinking about what experiences they’ve gone through, and that resulted in the scene we got in the end. p’boss said for a lot of people it might seem like too much or maybe too little, but for p’boss it’s real. RC teased, “you mean pp and billkin are real?” and p’boss said, “the scene, the acting.” [l o l] and RC said he likes that billkin doesn’t hold back while crying even when there’s snot everywhere and p’boss said “he goes by the feeling in that moment.”

10:07 khunpol said: “actually this day was the first cue that i ever shot for this series, and the first lines i ever spoke. so i was really, really tense and nervous that day, because there were a lot of friends/classmates in that scene, and a lot of cameras and people for the first time, so i didn’t know how to act.” RC said, “but it doesn’t look like it’s your first time at all.” <3

10:34 RC asked p’boss, “why did you create this scene?” p’boss: “i think bas is a character who tends to be shy, doesn’t really talk about his feelings. but when he does speak, it’s going to be something really meaningful and earnest. he also represents an lgbtq+ person who is clear and upfront, if he loves someone he’ll say it, and he’s not embarrassed to say it. which links back to teh and his feelings, because if it were teh, teh wouldn’t do this, and [the fact that bas did] causes a reaction in teh.”

12:20 RC asked, “why did you have to confess in front of the class? why not when it’s just the two of you in the car?” khunpol: “in the past four episodes, bas has been with oh-aew the whole time, bas has seen when oh-aew is troubled, what his problems are.” p’boss: “to have the confession here [in the class] isn’t equal to having the confession be just between the two of them, it’s a way of saying ‘i’m not embarrassed of you, if we’re going to love each other i’m proud to have you with me.’” RC asked p’boss if he was in a relationship because he seems to have a lot of understanding about love, and p’boss said no, it’s from research, he’s single.

17:49 RC said it’s like second lead syndrome in korean dramas, and p’boss said “yeah to make it hard on the audience.” RC compared it to my ambulance where you’re choosing between peng and chalam.

18:14 RC asked khunpol: “in your life, have you ever had a partner*, ever since you were alive, since you were born? [op: the phrasing is deliberately over the top lol] how old are you?” [*op: “fan” is the thai word that we use for romantic partners and it’s gender-neutral so partner is the best translation]. khunpol: “17.” RC: “do you want to know my age?” khunpol: “how old are you?” RC: “i’m 27.” khunpol: “27?” RC: “why do you have to be that surprised?!” RC: “so have you ever had a partner?” khunpol: “well actually the first time i ever had a partner was in anuban 2... it lasted about a day and then it ended.″ [op: anuban is like 3 years of preschool/kindergarten, so anuban 2 is like when you’re 4-5] p’boss: “you liked them?” khunpol: “they pursued me.” RC: “what kind of love do you have in anuban 2? do you trade milk bottles?” khunpol: “it’s like there’s a spark between you two and you see each other and you’re like, ‘do you want to play together?’”

19:18 RC asked p’boss: “is it the same house all the time?” p’boss: “yes except the noodle shop part of the house is at a different location.”

23:58 RC asked khunpol: “i want to know, as someone who’s 17 right now, how do teenagers today think about same-sex relationships between men?” khunpol: “i think in my generation, it’s a lot more open, and i have friends who are lgbtq+. it’s also a time that is coming of age, where you’re finding yourself. for me, i think that it’s really a normal thing in this generation. it’s more like feelings that you have towards a person, not a gender.”

24:53 RC asked kru jeab: “as a mom, if your son came up to you and told you [that he’s gay or he likes boys], in this generation, what would that be like?” kru jeab: “this was the question i got the first day of the workshop for the series. they asked, what would you do, how would you feel? i can’t say how i would feel as a mom, but i would educate myself so that i understand. for someone who’s a mom, you have to grow alongside your child, and in the future you don’t know who they’ll grow up to be. that’s how i answered the question and i cried. would i really be okay? i don’t know, the day that you get asked that question, you don’t really know if it’s wrong or right, how you’d act, as a mother, but i believe that we have to grow alongside them.”

26:06 kru jeab said, “i wouldn’t be able to play hoon’s character, he’s so good. he’s the performer who listens to everything but doesn’t take any of it, like if you take it you’d be like me [crying], if you see another person cry, how would you hold it in? how would you keep it together to comfort them? how would you be the more mature one? how would you advise him? hoon is the kind of character that’s ready to have children. i would lose it at the first sentence, if my kid is crying, i would start crying too. i thought his role was well-designed, because there needs to be someone who’s there to really listen to your problems, so that there will be some relief.”

27:00 RC asked p’boss what he intended to communicate to the audience with teh’s coming out scene, and p’boss said: “teh has been keeping it inside for a long time, and with the overall context his character is confused and doesn’t know what he’s going through, what his feelings are. and it’s like one day someone we trust, someone we love a lot opens the door for us, asks us what’s wrong, and their concern for us makes us brave enough to say what we’ve been keeping inside. and it unlocks teh’s character because it’s something he thought he couldn’t tell anyone, but in the end when he says it, no one actually rejects him, they’re ready to support him. i think there’s a certain time in your life when you’re a kid, you’re born and you think as a guy you can only like girls, and one day you like someone of another gender, and you wonder is it wrong? and it’s not wrong, but it’s something you slowly learn and come to accept. and today maybe he tells his brother as the first step, in the future he may have the courage to tell his mom, or maybe not, but he’s continuously growing and developing.”

31:38 RC asked p’boss, “whose dog is tuty?” and p’boss said the dog was cast for the role.

35:53 RC asked khunpol how the crying scene outside teh’s house was for him, and khunpol said, “for me, it was very difficult because it was a drama scene where i had to portray someone who just lost the person he loved. it was very difficult because at first, the feelings just didn’t come out, it was stiff, so p’boss tried to brief me on the emotions. he explained that it’s like you’re about to lose someone, but it’s not like you’re sad and you cry it out all at once. you know that that person is about to go to someone else who’s better for them, that they would be happier with this other person.” [the text on the screen pops up: second lead DNA!] khunpol continues: “so i shouldn’t show my sadness to him, i have to try to keep it in and contain it. it was difficult where i had to cry, i’ve never done that before. i had to think about parts of my life where i’ve lost something or someone--like a dog that i loved, a close relative, a close friend--and the memories we once had together, and that if it was all going to end on that day, how would i feel. and that’s how it came out in that scene.” RC: “because you’re only 17, so your experiences don’t always match up with what’s in the script, right?” khunpol: “yes.”

37:37 p’boss: “actually, tarn has never not loved teh, same with teh. the whole time, they really loved each other. it’s just that one day, those feelings changed. tarn’s intention was to bring this drawing [of yongjian] to confess her love for teh, but it turns out teh says he wants to be friends. and it becomes a moment where tarn has to ask herself, ‘am i willing to continue being friends with him? or do i not want to be friends with him, in which case i won’t have the chance to see him again?’ tarn feels that no matter what they are to each other, as long as teh is in her life, that’s good. she still wants teh in her life. so being friends is a conclusion they can both be okay with.” RC: “i used to date someone where i also thought i didn’t want her to disappear from my life, sometimes i think i want a happy ending. but the way that it happened, in real life, the other person didn’t have that happy ending with me. but when i watch this [teh and tarn’s scene], it’s a happy ending in its own way, that’s also endearing.” p’boss: “i think in tarn’s future, it’s possible she might still be heartbroken one or two years from now, and for the rest of her life she might never forget teh. but in the end she wants him in her life, so being his friend is better than not having him in her life at all.” RC: “in the end it is a coming of age, like a memory from that time/age in your life.” khunpol: “for me, it’s uncomfortable, like i wouldn’t know what to do. but i like the way tarn said in the end we can be friends. because the truth is you do like that person and you want them in your life.” RC asked, “let’s say you’re hitting on someone and something like this happens [they ask to be just friends], what item would you give them?” khunpol: “anything from when we first met. for example, i like photography, so if i took a photo of them, i’d print that first photo i ever took of them and give it to them.” RC: “now i know why you got to be the second lead. it’s so right, the DNA is so right.” kru jeab: “this character [tarn] has a lot of self-esteem. i don’t know if anyone has said this yet, but it’s like the world could be falling apart, but you know what value you have in yourself, and you still see yourself having that value, and you can give it to other people too. for tarn, the line where she says ‘no matter what happens to you, i’ll be your friend, i won’t abandon you.’ to say that to someone who just rejected you, i feel like that’s a value that--not just women, but anyone at all--needs to find in themselves, without waiting for someone else to give it to you. as long as you know you have that value within yourself, and one day you can give that to someone else, it’s a remarkable thing.” RC: “it’s very valuable.”

47:00 RC said, “i’m happy! i don’t know, from watching episodes 1-4, and i was sad the whole time. when it came the ending, i really didn’t think it would be happy.” tewynn: “i didn’t think you [p’boss] would let them get together, i thought someone was going to die.” p’boss: “i’m not that cruel!” RC: “i heard you’ve already done that before.” p’boss: “it depends on the story.” RC: “but it’s so good, it’s really good. like how we guessed about the title, ‘i told sunset about you,’ there really is the sun at the ending of the story. so good.”

47:31 RC asked about filming the final scene and why they didn’t see the sun when they first got to promthep cape. p’boss said: “actually, according to the script, they’re supposed to see the sun when they’re at the top [of promthep cape]. but on the day we shot the scene, there was no sun. so i was like, crap. but we ended up adjusting the script right there, and p’yong helped. he said it’s okay, that just means the final shot will be a special, magical one. like giving the characters hope in the moment, and we hadn’t lost hope, we were waiting on how it would turn out when we got to the tip of the cape. and it really was magic.”

48:24 RC said, “i want to know one more thing. i feel like people were guessing a lot about the songs. like for example skyline has the lyrics ‘if we are separated by the skies,’ what were you [p’boss] thinking for skyline?” p’boss: “the songs were released alongside the feelings in the series as it was happening. so it opens with skyline because they start off separated with a lot of different obstacles between them, and the song ends with a question about destiny. and in the end we get the answer that they’re going to beat destiny, right? and in episode 2, he [teh] really can’t translate what his feelings are. and finally in the end, we get ‘so special.’”

48:58 RC asked, “for part 2, is there going to be like a second-year student loves a first-year student dynamic? since they’re in two different places, is someone going to drop out?” p’boss: “really, it’s going to be about the next stage of their relationship. the first stage in part one is that they’re friends, they don’t know their own feelings, and ends with them getting together. in part two, they’re a couple, at university, in bangkok. you have to wait and see.”

49:19 RC: “what about my son, khunpol? how will he evolve in part 2?” p’boss: “you have to wait and see.” RC: “he’s still going to be there right?” p’boss: “i don’t know, they’re still working on the script, they’re still editing and making changes, so you have to wait and see.”

49:50 RC asked kru jeab: “as one of the performers in the series, how do you feel? are you proud of it?” kru jeab: “yes, i’m extremely proud of it. proud that i had a role in it, that i got this opportunity. it’s not that i’m a teacher and i can just come in, i had to go through the casting process, send my tape. and i got feedback, came to the workshops, and i learned about this work the way that any performer had to learn about this work, at every step. i feel like it’s a coming of age as a whole, not just the characters. i feel like i was coming of age too, when i came to the first day of workshops and goy and natty asked me what if one day my son was gay. i wasn’t prepared to answer that question, so i had to think about how i would be in that situation, since we really don’t know what will happen and how we’ll be, especially as parents.”

50:49 RC: “khunpol, as one of the performers in this series, how do you feel? are you proud?” khunpol: “i’m proud, and i’m happy. i feel like, i’m doing this for the first time, so this is a learning experience for me at this age. it’s a time where i’m finding myself and where i want to go in life. so i’m learning from the experiences i have on set, the people and social life i’m seeing outside of school, outside of afterschool class. seeing everyone on the team, my friends, my seniors [op: just as in people who are older than you]. it feels like it opened my world, for someone who’s my age, 17. it’s like i got to learn about what i can improve, and i got to experience things that most kids don’t get to. i feel like i received something really great and i really have to thank nadao, p’boss, p’yong, and p’aom who cast me.”

51:51 RC asked khunpol, “so you don’t know the script [for part 2] at all, right? for part 2, what would you personally want to see for bas, in what direction?” khunpol: “if i’m looking at how part 1 ended, and teh and oh-aew love each other, so i want the series to keep focusing on teh and oh-aew. but i’m confident that since there’s a part 2, there has to be a conflict, so there has to be something going on with these two. and the person bas is closest to between the two is oh-aew, so oh-aew might come back to confide in me, like he might call or we might meet up and he might cry and talk to me and i would comfort him, something like that.”

52:35 RC told khunpol to say something to teh: “if you could say something to teh, what would you say?” khunpol: “you’re so stupid. what’s the matter with you? anyway, take care of oh-aew for me.” RC: “a true second lead!”

52:58 RC asked p’boss: “when people threaten to put you up on a billboard, how do you feel?” [op: i’m not sure if i translated that right, but basically it’s about all the fan threats that p’boss gets if itsay were to have a bad ending] p’boss: “honestly, afraid. it’s not that i’m not afraid, i am. there are so many variations, ever since my ambulance. people would call, send letters, it’s all happened... people would call and ask how it would end, please don’t end it this way, it’s all actually happened. so burning down my house might not be all that strange, it might be possible.” RC: “but nadao has insurance, right? if not, nadao might need to get on that. if not with this series, then the next one.”

[88awkwardsunset88]

TRIP OR DIE

Not many things come to mind when I hear the words "what do you really want, Wilson?"

It's not that I don't want anything or that I have no deep hearted desires, but I often find myself just lost in the moment being happy with whatever comes my way. By not getting attached to certain things it allows certain freedoms. Whether it be toys, books, knick knack's, or friends. Not that I don't care about some folks or hold a few things close in some aspects because I do have a few items in my possession that would make me sad to lose if anything ever happened to them. However something has been ticking in the back of my mind and I can't seem to shake it. It's more like a little voice softly calling out to me, whispering "hey... hey you..." and while it's mildly annoying at best I can't seem to make out much more that.

Most of the time I'm a pretty Happy-Go-Lucky kinda guy, but despite all the peace I try to maintain I can't seem to make things better. Not from a lack of trying, but perhaps from a lack of better practice. A dear filmmaker friend of mine used to have a saying, "Practice doesn't make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect." There's more than one way to skin a cat, play and instrument, or talk to people. The idea is that you can do something over and over again, but if you're expecting a different result than what you've done then that by definition is crazy.

You can't go through life not having any attachments and expect not to be stressed. You need stress in certain times in life in order to help you grow. it's like "anxiety". If you were never anxious about anything then you're not really living. There's more to life than playing it safe and avoiding certain responsibilities. You have to constantly put yourself in certain situations in order to get better at handling them. The first time you go swimming with sharks, skydiving, or ballroom dancing is always nerve racking, but if you go your whole life without doing any of those things then the only one really missing out on them is 'you'. It's always going to be hard the first few times you try something new, but if you let your anxious fears keep you from achieving anything then who is the real winner in this situation of life?

There are some exceptions to this, that's not who we're talking about here. But out of all the 'everyday' people in this world you have no excuse to not do your best to embrace this discomfort. It's going to suck and it basically never ends but there's something pretty fantastic about that, isn't there? About being uncomfortable and getting past your own fears. Finding new ways to go about achieving your goals and making your own path as you please. My job is in D2D sales (door to door sales) on pure commission which constantly puts me under different strains of pressure. You find yourself meeting all kinds of different people in the most intense way, but it's been life changing. Jammie Foxx once said you can learn more about sales & communication in two (2) years of D2D sales than you could in four (4) years of college.

Point is this, you have to get out of your comfort zone to get what you want. You can't sit in your bed expecting life to bring you breakfast. Till recently I've had a sudden call to life, and that is to do whatever it takes to get what I want. Never really been driven by things like money, power, or fun stuff. But now I have a better idea of what it is that I really want. You ready? Here it is.

Peace of Mind.

That's it. That's all I really want. Not to be well known or all powerful like Elon Musk or something like that, but to just be able to buy whatever I want in order to have peace and resolve whatever comes up in my life. If I can somehow manage to achieve that kind of wealth then maybe everything will be okay. That's not how I'm going to approach it though. Don't be driven by money, don't be driven by rewards. Just work. And if you don't get what you want, you should still go to work. Because what's more important, what you achieve or who you become? Heard that from instagram the other day. Take some time to think about that a little bit.

[lettheladylead]

avoid the unhappy ending (ch10)

ships/characters: Goldie, Scrooge, Scrooge/Goldie words (ch10): ~1800 summary: Goldie comes to town to see Scrooge. Instead, she somehow manages to run into literally everyone else. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27108943/

[1 & 2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Chapter 10 under the cut:

There’s a lot of comic references in these next chapters. Nothing that couldn't fit into DT17 canon, so I’ll quickly summarize for context:

Scrooge and Goldie met in Dawson during the Klondike Gold Rush. She drugged him and stole his giant gold nugget. As punishment, he took her to his claim and made her work for him digging gold. Goldie stayed because she wanted to steal Scrooge’s lock box which contained the deed to his property, the giant gold nugget, and (unknown to her) a lock of Goldie’s hair that was cut off in a scuffle with a bear. They went their separate ways after falling in love and not wanting to admit it to each other. (‘Prisoner of White Agony Creek’)

Two years later, Scrooge made his first million dollars and decided to go back to Dawson to settle down. He went back to his claim in White Agony and grabbed his old stuff, then wrote Goldie a letter and bought her a box of chocolates. He lost them on the trip to Dawson and decided that trying to settle down was bad for him and he should just keep working instead. Fifty years later he found his stuff and she finally read the letter, but nothing came of it. (‘Last Sled to Dawson’)

x

Beakley gave her directions to the right spot. How had she gone all these years unaware of a Klondike Room? Maybe she wouldn't have anything to steal from there, but it'd be nice to explore and enjoy the nostalgia. And hell, maybe there was something to steal. A goose-egg sized gold nugget, perhaps.

The path she was going in took her towards the Other Bin, which Scrooge thought was a secret, but Goldie had been there more than a few times to borrow certain mystical items and even stored some of her own there. Having Scrooge keep them safe was much easier than trying to build her own magically fortified bin.

And it was kind of nice to have things of hers in his home. A bit more meaningful than a toothbrush, at least.

She could see the room that led to the Other Bin down the hall, and the one Beakley had mentioned should be just a few doors further. Goldie took a moment to peek inside and took note that the room was still as junked up as always. A housekeeper and a ghost butler, but Scrooge still managed to have rooms that looked that bad.

Four more doors and Goldie wondered if this was an elaborate, annoying prank Bentina was playing on her as revenge for...well, a lot of things. Didn’t seem like her style. But she supposed it didn’t matter, she was checking the room either way.

Opening the door as quietly as possible, Goldie’s eyes widened at the display in front of her. The room was chilly, but filled with some very familiar pieces of furniture. It felt like a cabin. Scratch that, it felt like the cabin. His cabin.

On the other side of the room, she (finally!) saw Scrooge - wearing his old coat and even older hat - sitting with his back to her on the edge of a bed (and based on how it looked, she was pretty sure that was the bed), looking into a little lock box on his lap.

Of course, it was the box, too. Walking into this room felt like walking into a time machine. And she wanted to say something clever and cute. Some reference to their first meeting or something that would send a shiver down his spine.

Instead, she simply said, “Hey, Handsome.”

Scrooge didn’t react right away, then slowly closed the box and put it to his side before turning around to look at her. “Goldie, Dear, I wondered when you’d find me.”

She closed the door and walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the other side. “So you did know I was here.”

“Aye, Gyro sent me a message about it a few hours ago.”

Goldie turned to him and scoffed. “It has not been that long!”

He just smiled at her and she felt her heart beat faster. Damn that man. She wanted to yell at him for all the trouble she'd gone through, but one look at the space made all her complaints melt away. Clearly there was something more important going on.

“So...how didn’t I know about this?” she asked, stretching out her arms and emphasizing the room.

“You never asked,” he responded with a shrug, moving the box down to the floor and under the bed.

Goldie fell back and spread out her limbs all over the mattress, sighing at the familiar creaks and groans of the old, worn thing. “I can’t believe we slept on this.”

“Don’t complain - you only slept on it for a month,” Scrooge said as he laid down next to her. “Feels terrible, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm,” she hummed, turning to the side so she was looking at him. “It could be worse.”

They stayed silent for a minute while Goldie stuck her hand out and started playing with his whiskers, enjoying the smile and blush that graced his face while she did.

“Seems like you talked to the whole family today.”

“Mhmm.” She kept playing with his feathers while she answered. “Everyone wanted to harass me about not marrying you.”

His face got a little redder. “I didn’t ask them to.”

“I know. You didn’t ask me to, either.”

Scrooge’s eyes darted around the room in a clear attempt to avoid looking at her until he sat up and cleared his throat, cheeks still very colorful. “Um...not in so many words, but…”

Goldie leaned on her arms and watched him, smiling and enjoying his nervousness. Together on-and-off for one hundred and twenty years and he still got like this around her. It was so adorable it bordered on annoying, but she loved it nonetheless.

She sat up next to him and planted a hand flat on his chest, leaning over and kissing his cheek. “I’m just kidding, Scroogey.”

He laughed awkwardly and tugged at his collar, not wanting to continue that specific line of conversation. He started playing with his hands and his eyes darted towards the side of the bed where he’d hidden the lock box.

Goldie smirked. “You know I already know what’s in there. If you think I’ll be weirded out about the hair, you’re a century too late.”

“Ach,” Scrooge grumbled and shrugged her hand off. “It’s not that. Being in here with you...it just brings me back. I feel like you could take the nugget any second.”

“Well I certainly could, if you’d like to chase me down,” she said smugly, started to crawl past him to the other side of the bed.

Scrooge quickly grabbed her wrists and roughly pulled her back to where she was before. “Not on your life, you heisting harpy!”

Goldie winced momentarily as her shoulder stung, but shook it off before he could notice. She smiled and leaned closer, nuzzling her beak under his. “So what are you doing in here, Scrooge? I've been looking for you everywhere."

“Oh, I heard,” he said with a chuckle, letting go of her wrists. “Duckworth stopped by a few times to tell me if you’d gotten close.” He laughed harder at Goldie’s irritated expression. “I cannae believe you went and asked Beakley for help!”

Goldie groaned and shoved her side into his, trying and failing to seem annoyed. “You’re such a lousy old sourdough.”

He shoved her back. “And yet, here you are.”

“Here I am.” She leaned her head onto his shoulder and stared at the furniture set up in front of them - it was his old table and chair set. She was pretty sure the pan she cooked him eggs and bacon in was there, too.

He sighed and leaned his head on top of hers. She could hear his heart beating faster at the contact.

“So…” she mumbled softly. “Why are you in here?”

There was a few seconds of silence before he finally answered. “...you’ll just make fun of me for bein’ sentimental.”

“That’s probably true, but my curiosity stands.” She scooted herself around him so she’d be facing him directly. “I don’t remember today being special for us, but your staff seems to think it is.”

“It’s not special for you,” he said with a shrug, not looking at her. “Just for me.”

“...why’s that?”

He blushed again and she raised an eyebrow. “Scroogey, just tell me. I promise not to make fun of you. For at least an entire minute.”

“It’s nothin’ ridiculous,” Scrooge grumbled. “It’s just...it’s an anniversary. Of me...buyin’ somethin’. For you.”

She gave him a curious expression. “That’s what all this embarrassment is about? I don’t remember you getting me anything.”

“I never gave it to you,” he answered with a shrug. “Lost it in an ice storm.”

Goldie huffed and put her hands on his cheeks, forcing Scrooge to make eye contact with her. “What was it?”

He put his hands over hers. “It was just a stupid box of chocolates.”

She smiled. “How romantic.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you spend the day in here for every mundane anniversary?” Goldie said with a smile as she pulled away, moving to the edge of the bed. “At your age, I’m surprised every day of the year isn’t reminiscent of something or other.”

“What about you?” he asked, genuinely curious. “You’re goin' to pretend you don’t have a million things to celebrate?”

Goldie stood up and chuckled. “Of course I do. I always visit you on the day we first met.”

“And you always steal somethin' gold.”

She turned her head to give him a sultry look. “Would you expect anything else?”

He stood up behind her and let his hands drift to her hips. “From you? Never.”

Goldie spun around and ignored the sparkle in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m glad I came today. I always enjoy when you’re nostalgic and this room really takes the cake.”

Scrooge pulled her a little closer. “Oh? Even with my family bothering you all day?” He smirked. “Don’t tell me ol’ Glitterin’ Goldie is startin’ to enjoy domestic life…”

She just hummed softly for a moment before closing the gap between them and pressing her beak to his very gently, gliding her left hand from the back of his head to his whiskers so she could play with them a bit more. She pulled away after a few seconds. “I think I could deal with this every once in a while.”

He broke out into a huge grin and leaned over to peck her beak quickly before squeezing her tight around her middle, lifting her up, and spinning her around.

“Whoa, hey!” she squeaked as she held onto his shoulders. “Watch your back, Old Man!”

Scrooge laughed as he lost his balance and they both fell back onto the bed - Goldie dizzy on her back and Scrooge winded on top of her. It only took a few seconds before Goldie started laughing with him and then they kissed again, losing themselves in the moment and the memories.

A few minutes later and they were back to where they started - laying on the familiar bed and staring at each other.

“Any chance you’re really plannin’ to stay for dinner?”

Goldie huffed and held back a laugh. “Come on, Scroogey. No one besides you and Della want me taking up a seat at that table. And she’s probably on the fence about it still.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand, holding it in front of his chest. “Just come anyway. I have a feelin’ we’ll just be talkin’ about you whether you’re there or not. Might as well come and defend yourself.”

She laughed again and tugged her hand out of his grasp. “Well with an offer like that, how can a girl refuse?”

[silver-wield]

FF7R: The Cloud Narrative

While in the middle of one of my replays that involved making different choices for Cloud to get other stuff, I started thinking, “What would Cloud choose?”

And that got me thinking some more about the fact we say it's all what Cloud would choose, but really, it's what we pick to get the best story that suits our preferences.

And since I'm that kind of dork, I decided to replay and let Cloud's personality and development lead me to make the choices so I could try and see what Cloud would've chosen if he had autonomy. It makes for a slightly different game than the one I usually play, but it was fun really thinking over the options and deciding how Cloud would react to every situation and whether he'd choose to engage with it or not.  

I didn't actually remember to grab every screenshot of my playthrough, so some of these are from Youtube, but the decisions I say I made are the ones I made because why would I lie?

Ok, let's mosey...

Spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.

The opening decision is in Chapter 2 when we first meet Aerith. None of these decisions affect anything within the game to do with the resolution, it just makes either girl react differently to Cloud.

I'm sure some people would argue he'd buy it because Aerith, but he doesn't know her, has no obligation to be nice to her – especially compared to the Avalanche crew who he needed to rely on back in the reactor and he was a dick to them – he's in a rush and has no reason to buy flowers unless people want to assume he already had Tifa in mind the moment Aerith mentioned it. If we do choose the option to buy it right away, Aerith flirts a little and slots the flower into Cloud's shoulder strap over his heart. We get none of the extended dialogue if we choose this option. For those people who say the more someone talks is a sign of canon, this would make the “how much” option the non-canon choice because it contains the least amount of dialogue and time they spend together.

If we choose “I'm good,” then we hear Aerith insisting he takes it by saying, “When was the last time you saw a real one,” and adding that “it'll make your girlfriend's day.”

Then we get the automatic line from Cloud that happened when we originally chose “how much.”

After some more dialogue from Aerith another choice occurs, one which can make Cloud sound like a royal shitbag or not.

I think everyone would agree that Cloud purposely pissing off a total stranger is out of character, and if you choose the second option he doesn't actually speak and Aerith goes straight into her line about how “lovers used to give these when they were reunited.”

For my choices as Cloud I said, “I'm good,” and then when she insisted, I agreed to take it because to me – and this is how I always answer – it feels the most Cloud kind of answer.

Chapter 3

The next choice Cloud's presented with is during chapter 3 when Tifa offers him a drink. No matter which choice you make he calls Tifa beautiful as the outcome.

By answering “something hard” Tifa goes into her cocktail making routine before pouring Cloud a drink that looks suspiciously like piss, but is actually meant to represent the colour of his hair. Hard and bitter. Like him. He doesn't like it. Colour me shocked. She then goes on to make the red drink that's a representation of her eye colour. This is when Cloud raises the glass and makes the “beautiful” comment.

If you choose the refuse option, Tifa replies that “if you were in the mood” and then goes into the same drinks making routine as the first option, with the exact same dialogue and outcome between them. (And now I know it's almost identical I wonder why the devs did it? It seems like a straw man option tbf. There's no real choice or changes to the dialogue and it's like it's been put there to give the illusion of it being optional).

Since Cloud is secretly into Tifa I figured he'd choose “something hard and bitter” as a way to try and show off how tough he is. However, it’s worth noting that Cloud isn’t a big drinker and only drinks when he’s in a low mood. He’s pretty happy here, so I’d say in general he wouldn’t drink, but because he’s only recently reunited with Tifa he still wants to impress her. So yeah, to drink.

The next chance for Cloud to have a choice concerns the chapter 3 side quests that open up the alone at last which goes towards choosing a dress for Tifa later in chapter 9. If you don't finish the quests or miss alone at last you always get Tifa's blue dress and moon charm earring. That is her canon outfit.

The quests for chapter 3 are all monster related apart from one – which I'll get to in a minute.

Chadley's report involves scanning monsters for data and killing them. Rat problem comes from the item vendor and involves killing doomrats.

Nuisance in the factory involves killing drakes.

On the prowl involves going after a shinra dog thing

Just flew in from the graveyard involves a larger drake.

These are all the type of job that Cloud would accept without thinking about it too much. He's a merc, he's getting paid to kill monsters. It'll show off his skills and build his rep and as Tifa says, the better his rep the more he gets paid. These five quests are ones Cloud would take because that's the type of person he thinks he should be. The monster slayer.

As for quest 4, lost friends, I initially said that Cloud would avoid this because it involves two things he isn't good with: kids and animals. Now, I've heard from people that by AC Cloud is actually pretty good around kids, and I agree, he's got a lot of love from them by this point. But that's at least two years away from now and he's not even slightly good around kids and actively avoids them. Cats seem to have a grudge against him, too, at this point in the game – though Wedge's cat mellows towards him after he helps out. These were my reasons for deciding to avoid this quest because Cloud just wouldn't do it. Then, once I got to it, I realised the reason why Cloud would do it.

Tifa.

Tifa likes kids and animals. Now, as a respectful type of girl, she doesn't usually push Cloud to do things he doesn't want to. She's always considerate to his feelings and to others too. In this case, though, she's not focused on Cloud and if he'd want to do this job, but on helping out a little girl. Cloud's been running around doing jobs all morning, so Tifa's related him to the task of finding the cats.

Usually Cloud would refuse to something that's so obviously beneath his skills, but because it's Tifa who's asking, he agrees.

Alone at last triggers and we get to view a moment between Cloud and Tifa that ends in him choosing a dress for her. Alone as last is narrative canon whether we choose to see it or not because of other hints in the game that refer back to the conversation they had. While they talk about the past we get an above view of the rug that has a reunion flower pattern on it. Tifa and Cloud both take steps towards each other during this scene, which symbolises their closing the emotional distance that's between them.

This choice changes nothing about the game and only matters if you want to go for the dressed to the nines achievement.

If you choose the top option – for her canon outfit, Tifa replies “Yeah, I guess we aren't kids anymore.” If you choose the second option she says, “That's not much different to my regular style.”

If you choose the exotic outfit she says, “really?” and acts a little awkward about it.

She then asks Cloud to dress to match her. The dresses he wears during wall market all have a similar style to Tifa's options, showing he did dress to match her. The narrative canon choice for which dress Cloud eventually went with is something I'll be bringing up later.

By choosing the canon outfit option and getting Tifa's canon dialogue we get a reference to the fact they've known each other for a long time. This ties into the conversation they had which also touched on their shared history. This is a background development scene between them, but isn't necessary to know because we get other info about them over the rest of the game. This extra bit of dialogue is to increase our knowledge of Cloud and Tifa, both separately and together.

Chapter Four

Jessie’s bike ride, which isn’t optional in the sense you can choose how it goes. The result depends on how good you are at the minigame. However, since there’s three endings, this is a choice based result.

Are you, Cloud? Really? When did you get that SOLDIER mandatory training? Of the three optional endings, the narrative canon that makes the most sense is Cloud being really bad at it. This is his first time doing any of that, but it gives him the crash course he needs for later in the Shinra building when he does all those fancy moves. Cloud owes Roche some props for observational bike stunting. 

Chapter Five

And our next canon narrative choice is between making Cloud look incompetent at his job or choosing to have an intimate moment with his one true love. Well, seeing how the cloti roll is in the ultimania we know this is the correct narrative choice.

Chapter 8

There's a long gap between chapter 5 and the next option we get for Cloud. Once we meet Aerith again and get her back to Sector 5, we go into her side quests and optional discovery. Aerith's side quests are tied to what dress she later wears during chapter 9.

The side quests for Aerith's chapter are split into groups of 3. This means that by unlocking one, you get the further quests on that branch. One branch is more of a Cloud oriented style set of quests, while the other involves the thing he doesn't do well around: kids.

Kids on patrol → A verified hero + Angel of the slums

Weapons on a rampage → Paying respects + moogle merchant.

If you don't complete kids on patrol first then the other two don't unlock. One of these further quests involves more kids and playing with them. Not really Cloud type activities and unlike with chapter 3 where he'd do something because Tifa asked, he's not got that type of relationship with Aerith that he'd be willing to do stuff that he doesn't want to just to impress her.

Breakdown of sidequests in sector 5 and NPC background dialogues.

Weapons on a rampage is more his style of quest, which leads to the NPC who set it to ask a further favour. This links to the next quest where you have to pay respects for the old man. The thing is, he doesn't have the graveyard key, which leads to the next quest where we have to go buy it off Moggie. This is the only kid related quest on this branch and it's over in moments. Cloud has the minimum amount of contact with Moggie and doesn't show any kind of tolerance towards her while he's talking. There's also no apology for his behaviour – unlike when he said to Tifa he was doing his best when she scolded him for being rude.  

The way these quests are set out in blocks of three and the fact one half is heavily reliant on child interaction – which Cloud wouldn't do at this point in his development or association with Aerith – leads me to believe he wouldn't agree to these quests. This means the language of flowers discovery doesn't trigger and Aerith ends up in her second option dress – which I've theorised is her canon outfit because of its design similarity to the OG version, her reaction to the dress, the fact that in OG, Aerith chose her own dress, the hairstyle and accessory match the OG style and Cloud's reaction is a very Cloud reaction to have, compared to the other two outfits – the bad dress has dogs and rats following her and the red dress is so ott she's swarmed by fans, a red carpet and so on, but also her accessories don't fit her symbolism theme of flowers because she's wearing stars.

With all of the above in mind, I surmised Cloud would do the monster hunt branch of quests and quit while he was ahead.

Chapter 9

Where before we had a few choices happening, once we hit Wall Market we're inundated with options that affect Cloud's outfit later on. They also showcase what kind of morals Cloud has. Either way, it's canonically easier to get Chocobo Sam's pts higher than Madam M's, leading me to believe he is the canon narrative choice for this section and that Cloud's black and blue corset dress is the one he ends up wearing.

This contradicts my previous theory about the ultimania in which Cloud is shown very uncomfortable in the loli outfit, which led me to believe that was the one he ended up in if he made the choices in Wall Market. I now believe it's because if you pick this outfit it's his “bad ending”, worse than if you don't make any effort and get the plain black and grey dress.

The maximum amount of pts you can get from Chocobo Sam's options is 6.5, compared to Madam M's 5.

There are several people who offer you options during Wall Market.

The love hotel owner (not a Nojima self-insert lol).

Johnny (discovery) + before the first coloseum match – there's a bottle on the table and the choice is to drink or not.

Madam M x2

Sam x2

The first option you get in Wall Market happens before you've even entered the place. Sam asks you what the girl you're searching for looks like. No matter which option you choose, Sam says that Cloud has a crush on Tifa – which he doesn't deny.

If you choose the first option you get 1pt with Sam.

If you choose the second option you get 0pts

If you choose the 3rd option you get 1pt with Madam M.

I chose the first option because Cloud's a guy, with eyes, and the other two choices don't offer anything in the way of a physical description and if he's describing her to someone then he needs to actually describe what she looks like in some way. This is the only option that does that. It's also the only option that gets a different reaction out of Aerith, whereas the other two options have the same reaction from her.

This is the second option we can choose from and it's the love hotel guy (still not a Nojima self-insert). If you choose “no thanks,” this gets you 1pt with Sam and Aerith flirts with Cloud.

If you choose “how much?” you get a surprised “Cloud!” from Aerith and 1pt with Madam M.

If you choose “back off” you get 0pts and Aerith apologises on his behalf.

Of the 3 choices, I picked “back off” because it's the most Cloud appropriate choice.

Next, we have the Johnny discovery when he literally runs past you as you try to go to Don Corneo's for the first time. By following him to the Honey Bee, we get a lecherous dialogue from him and then a question about Cloud's own preferences. Would he go into the Honey Bee? If he agrees with Johnny, we get a slightly self-loathing assumption of a reply, whereas if we disagree, Johnny says that Cloud hasn't experienced anything yet. Either way, he runs off once he's finished.

By agreeing with Johnny you get 1pt for Sam.

If you don't agree you get 0pts.

I chose to disagree because Cloud isn't a lecherous pig and is actually pure af with no experience.

We learn from Leslie that the only way to get into an audition with Corneo is through the trio. Andrea Rhodea has a 3 year waiting list, so we don't even see him. So, we go back to Sam.

This is a hint that the following event with Sam is a load of bull. Johnny telling Cloud – if you interact with him – that he should've followed his gut is a hint that Cloud should trust his instincts. It’s also confirming that while Cloud is a total cheapskate who doesn’t do anything for free, he’s also a betting man who’ll think little of dropping 1000g on a sure thing (why 1000g? because that’s the amount he says to Barret in chapter 6, showing that while Cloud appreciates having money, he’ll also spend it.) Then it's around the corner to where Sam waits. Who, despite having already endorsed Tifa, says he's willing to help Aerith if she can guess the result of a coin toss.

Ofc it's rigged. But if you choose to gamble, it impresses Sam. You get 1.5 pts for choosing heads or tails. If you refuse to gamble then you get 0.5pts.

I believe the narrative choice is to pick heads, like Johnny suggested because he is the inner voice of Cloud and gives us hints as to real Cloud’s feelings at different points in the game. Either way, Cloud gets the coin and says he had a hunch about the result.

After this it's away to Madam M's and the most hilarious choice I've ever seen! I have to wait until the room's clear before choosing because it's a watch from behind a cushion moment lol

Madam M won't help Cloud unless he agrees to a massage. Since our SOLDIER boi doesn't like being forced into decisions and has issues around touch and intimacy, not to mention he's stingy af and wouldn't drop 3k on a massage when he's previously hounded people for a lot less money. But, he also doesn’t stop to think about spending money if it’s worth this while. 1000g doesn’t seem like much of a big deal to him, if it’s his standard amount of bet on a sure thing. He wants to save Tifa, so he’d likely go with the standard course. The other one alludes to him being a cheapskate like Aerith accused and there’s no reference to the luxury course anywhere in the game except here. This isn't something he's doing for pleasure, he's in Wall Market to save Tifa, so the things he's doing are a means to an end.

If you pick the luxury massage you get 2pts with Madam M.

If you pick the standard massage you get 1pt with Madam M

If you pick the poor man's massage you get 0pts.

I chose the standard course massage because I believe that's what Cloud would choose just to get Madam M to agree to help them.

The next choice comes right off the back of the massage at Madam M's and involves Cloud giving an opinion of Aerith's outfit.

If you choose the first option it gets you 1pt with Sam and a pleased reaction from Aerith.

If you choose the second option you get 0pts and an angry retort from Aerith.

If you choose the third option you get 1pt with Madam M and a middle of the road comment from Aerith. No matter which you choose, Madam M scolds you.

Since by this point in the game Cloud and Aerith are friendly enough for him to pass comment on her outfit, I could see him answering with the second choice, but not the first since he doesn't even notice what anyone's wearing let alone have an opinion on it. The third option sounds the most Cloud-centric choice, so that's what I picked.

The last option is for Cloud to drink an unknown substance or not while waiting for his match to start at the coliseum. Johnny gives the explanation of what it is, who it came from and what it potentially does.

By choosing to drink the mystery substance you get 1pt with Sam.

By ignoring the drink you get 0pts.

Since Cloud is the last person to put weird shit in his body I went with not drinking it.

The final tally for the options that Cloud gets set him on Chocobo Sam's side quests for the blue corset dress that matches Tifa's canon outfit – she said dress to match, remember? It's also the one that in the ultimania Cloud looks the most at ease in.

Chocobo Sam's sidequests are the ones that I got as a result of choosing the options I did. I believe this is the canon narrative that Cloud would take if he were choosing. After several playthroughs I did waver on whose quests seemed more the narrative canon. I began thinking Sam's were, but then the ultimania illustration of Cloud embarrassed in the satin dress led me to think Madam M's were the narrative canon. After playing both sets of side quests, I've come to the conclusion that Sam's would be the narrative choice if Cloud were making the decisions.

Having Cloud's choices result in Sam's side quests we get burning thighs (appears in both), the party never stops and a dynamite body.

Burning thighs is the squats contest that echoes the OG storyline. We meet Andrea's little brother, Jules – who is totally not staring at Cloud's ass through the entire minigame while encouraging him.  This side quest touches on egos and being cocky – which Cloud can be. It's a humble pie moment, which is another life lesson that Cloud needs to learn also.

The party never stops features the return of Johnny, who appears as we leave the dressmaker's son who's the originator for the quest. We're sent over into the bar, where we can collect the Midgar Blues single for the cd achievement. This song is canonically Cloud and Tifa's romantic theme in Advent Children. Once we meet the dressmaker, we're sent over to the materia guy who wants “the sauce” in exchange for “inspiration”.

This sidequest is a bunch of tongue in cheek dick jokes and it's hilarious! It's also alludes to the fact that Cloud has zero experience since he had a crush on Tifa until he left the village, spent his time pining for her as a grunt, then got stuffed in a test tube and was in a coma for five years. Ofc he blusters his way through it, handling his balls and making comments about how he doesn't need lessons on “whipping it out”. Oh you poor sweet boi.

Once we get the sauce – fun fact there's no picture in the inventory of it when you get it – and we hand off to the materia guy (unintentional pun but I'm leaving it in now I've done it – and that one) we head over to the next weirdo on the list. The chef. Who literally poisons all of his customers. I suspect he and the pharmacy guy are in cahoots. He poisons people, the pharmacy guy cures them and they both get rich.

The chef asks Cloud to help fix the problem with his kitchen – but from npcs around it sounds like it's just his cooking that's the issue. It doesn't matter which option you pick, Johnny still gets food poisoning. Even if you max your materia, nothing changes. Cloud doesn't even offer the options, Johnny does the talking.

Once we're done with the killer chef, it's over to the pharmacy guy, who asks Cloud to go and deliver medicine. If you maxed your cleansing materia you get 3 packets of meds. The only one that matters is the guy in the pub bathroom since that moves the side quest along. The others are optional, but increase Cloud's rep about town since he's helping more people.

The pharmacy guy gives Cloud a Honey Bee Inn VIP pass, which is the dressmaker's inspiration. Once that's handed back, Cloud chats to the dressmaker's son, who caps the side quest off with the below screen.

This is a reference to the dream that Cloud had during chapter 8 where his mother mentioned he should have a mature girlfriend. This is the contradicting opinion that balances that. The dressmaker's son saying age doesn't equal maturity is referencing Tifa – since these quests are the ones that get you the matching dress to her canon one. This is the same as the Midgar Blues playing in the pub. These are Tifa centric quests, which is the entire reason Cloud's in Wall Market to begin with.

The last quest is a dynamite body, which comes from Sam. Tifa has a bomb bracelet on her default weapon that is part of a matching pair with her chocobo bracelet. Tifa is represented by “da bomb” and everyone knows Cloud’s a chocobo head. This quest is referencing cloti, and a comment from the announcer using a mixed metaphor mentions putting on shades. 

Afterwards Same tries to hand Cloud his cut of the prize money and Cloud says he's there for Tifa, not money. Sam replies that Cloud has changed since his arrival and could likely storm Corneo's place all by himself to save Tifa. He also mentions that Tifa is a bombshell and Cloud goes to confront him by taking a step forward and saying “Hey.” This is Cloud stepping up to people sexually objectifying Tifa.

Once the quests are done, it's back to Corneo's where Cloud considers breaking in – like Sam suggested – but Leslie uses Cloud's feelings for Tifa against him by saying Corneo could hurt her if he does anything he shouldn't. This isn’t the first time Cloud’s emotionally blackmailed in Wall Market. 

Cloud backs down, but is now operating under the sense that Corneo is a lot more dangerous than he first thought, and he's sending Aerith in. Aerith. Who's useless in a fight. He's now thinking that he'd have to go in and save them both, which is why he says to Aerith that he's not letting her go alone.

We've now reached the point where Cloud's earlier refusal to do kid related quests gives us the result with Aerith's dress. Her theme has been given a slightly rock vibe, which is SOLDIER Cloud appropriate, and the design is something that she has chosen – this is in line with her OG dress which she chose herself. She also has a large hair bow, similar hairstyle to OG and her flower symbolism throughout – compared to the red dress which has stars that haven't been associated with her at any point. The straps on the pink dress – which is her signature colour – also match the straps on the OG design. Johnny’s around throwing cherry blossom petals, which match several of her abilities and are a reference to Zack. Aerith wore this dress for Zack. This is her Zack date dress. This leads me to believe that this is her canon narrative outfit.

The accompanying blocking to this scene is also more realistic than the other two.

Cloud's reaction to the dress is suitably Cloud. His jaw drops a little and he gets a bit soft voiced when talking to Aerith, though it's a quick moment that ends when he asks why she left Madam M's.

And now we're at the point where Cloud has to impress Andrea Rhodea. As long as you get 112pts in his dance sequence (great = 2, good = 1) then Cloud will wear the earrings with his dress, no matter which one it is.

This is the last choice you have and it's the tie breaker between the two girls if you chose to do all of the side quests for them. By choosing Aerith you get her resolution later in chapter 14, but in the meantime you get a short dialogue and then Tifa wakes up.

If you choose Tifa, this goes towards her resolution in chapter 14, but in the meantime you get a longer dialogue concerning the imminent dangers in sector 7 and also she questions Cloud about his relationship with Aerith. This is referencing all of the strange things about Aerith from her initial touch to Cloud’s wrist letting him see the whispers, to the whispers attacking them later in sector 7, to her not letting him leave sector 5, to her crying and wanting to go with him. Tifa’s question makes Cloud suspicious. It’s not romantically motivated on her part because her focus is on saving sector 7.

Cloud doesn't get a chance to answer, as Aerith wakes up.

Chapter 12

Technically not a choice -- in fact it implies the opposite -- because if you run the timer out in chapter 12 at the top of the pillar nothing happens. This is a message that all previous timed events were optional because that’s what the players wanted. This is saying that no matter if you try to choose to ignore Tifa or Barret or any of the plot, that the game will wait for you to move. There are no consequences to running this timer down because it’s implying that the time for optional choices has passed. Narrative canon only will commence from this point on.

The last optional choice in the game comes a lot later with the stairs and elevator, so anything that Cloud says or does between then is canon. All of the resolutions are canon, but we're only able to view one at a time because of how the game operates. Cloud is the witness to the resolutions because they’re Barret, Tifa’s and Aerith’s resolutions.

Barret's resolution is first because the lighting is much brighter indicating it's earlier in the night.

After that comes Tifa's resolution, which is much later in the night, but well before dawn.

The last resolution is Aerith's and she indicates that it's almost morning at the end of hers.

All resolutions are canon

Aerith's resolution is hinted at by Mirielle during the lost wallet and Kyrie sidequests.

Tifa's resolution is hinted at by Tifa, through Leslie in the chapter 14 intel gathering main quest where you hunt down Don Corneo. Tifa relates Leslie's fiancee's necklace to a symbol of reunion. Since the necklace has a reunion flower on it, that she's seen, and the only time she mentions learning about the meaning of that flower is during her resolution, this is the confirmation of it having happened. Also, the fact that Cloud was about to mention the meaning, then stopped because he thought it might embarrass Tifa – who'd been in a vulnerable state at the time – shows that he was aware of both the meaning and the resolution and Tifa's feelings.

Chapter 16

Last choice in the game and it’s between the stairs and the elevator. And as much as I love the stairs, Mayor Domino tells us later on that the stuff in the elevator is what happened. 

Feel bad for Cloud having to confront his claustrophobia with Tifa there. He’s not happy at all by the time they reach the top.

In Conclusion.

Playing as though Cloud were the one making the choices was a lot harder than I thought. I tend to choose things either as he would, or close enough in most cases, but there were some choices that had me stopping to debate which was the right choice. Cloud's character development is a slow process and even though I know he's got a whole kid army in AC, I couldn't resolve that with his current personality, so that led me to avoiding the kid quests. This revealed that Aerith should have worn her pink dress in the narrative and the scene between them when she reveals it feels a very narrative canon type of scene.

Tifa's dress is the same no matter what. I also believe she'd be the narrative choice in the sewers over Aerith because of the content of her dialogue and the fact real!Cloud has a crush on her still. He often checks in with her to make sure she's ok and he has an overriding urge to support and comfort her even when he doesn't know how. The way she lands in the sewers is echoed later in several other falls, but there’s one in the opening of chapter 13 where she’s got her arm under her head. This is because Cloud positioned her that way after she got knocked out. This shows he’d go to her if he saw her hurt.

All of the events, options and side quests culminate in Tifa's resolution being the main narrative option we see, with Aerith and Barret as a second and third option through replay choices, though all three do happen. From Cloud’s pov, though, the important one is Tifa because that’s the person he cares about the most. You only get Barret’s resolution by being a closed off asshole and Aerith’s if you act out of character and more like Zack, which is what Aerith wants. The quest dialogue with Leslie shows the resolutions happened, which makes them narrative canon.

People can disagree with this, but I found the narrative canon a really enjoyable way to play – once I got over messing up in wall market with the dress and had to start again (the choices are hard lol). Seeing events through Cloud's eyes, instead of being like some puppet master telling him what to do so I could get the story I wanted to see, was a really fun way to play. I definitely recommend it!