#i looked online too...NOTHING for the albums i want

[kibblemode]

i asked my ex-stepdad if i could find KMFDM vinyls at a record store and he said theyre probably too old to be in stores anymore....WUHHHGGGGGG

[valvesoftware]

breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh

[heatherholes]

i get that the lack of individuality is the appeal of bimbofication for many. but what i like to see, personally, is all the wonderful different types of girls learning their place. their unique personalities kept but warped. the most obvi example is the nerdy weeb girl who loves hentai and ahegao and slutty cosplay, the desk pet gamer girls. unlike some less interesting misogynists, i don’t think they’re faking their interests for male attention. they just don’t know how to express themselves any other way and that’s super hot!

i wanna see it everywhere. the horror fanatic watching shlocky b-movie rape scenes like they’re porn. the girl who loves cars getting bent over the hood. the ren faire attendant dressed as a tavern wench. the tabletop gamers and larpers doing mediaeval fantasy, getting treated medievally. the skater chick who laughs loudest when a girl face-plants, the metalhead demanding you name five albums. the goth who draws a pentagram on the floor and kneels naked, thinks of her punishment for eve eating the apple and whispers ‘hail satan.’

barstool type girls are a favourite of mine. you know, they watch football, eat wings, are all too happy to go to strip clubs and participate in the locker room talk. who proudly proclaim that they’re not like other girls, they’re one of the guys because they put on a sports jersey, while still looking every bit the bleach blonde fucktoy. still pretending she doesn’t know how to shoot pool so he can show her.

and the gym bunnies with an intense discipline and determination; are strong physically and mentally. what motivates their commitment to self improvement? looking good for men, of course! she’ll work herself to the bone keeping toned for you and won’t whine for help hauling the groceries. let her tell herself it’s because you respect her strength if it makes your life easier.

similar are the boss babes, hyper productive and entrepreneurial. proud to have her own money, apartment, car, small business. she’s a big believer in splitting the bill on dates. why? she heard men don’t like gold diggers. she doesn’t want him to think she’s putting out cause she gets something out it. she’s not doing it for anything but him. whether or not she expands her “online brand” as a pornfluencer into onlyfans will depend entirely on him. he okays it, but only for a split of the money? wow, now she’s the provider. how empowering!

that’s to say nothing of the actual girl bosses. the salaried power player at a fortune 500 company. what does she do there? discourage employees under her from going to HR, cut funding for the women in business initiative and giggle at sexist jokes to show she’s a team player, mostly. she has the economic freedom to do anything, a career she fought tooth and nail for, a spot in the c-suite someday. she’s a winner, not a trophy. she’ll give it all away once a man further up the ladder knocks her up.

well, what about the marxist punk yelling no gods, no masters? no way she’s gonna submit to a man. no, but she’s gonna suck dick for the communal spirit and promote collective ownership of her holes.

the shy girl into art and literature? her love of culture gives her unique insight into the history of male supremacy. everywhere she sees herself through the eyes of men. not just any men, creative geniuses. in the museum she looks at the ancient vases that use the same iconography to depict marriage as rape. from the nude statue of a goddess to the painting of a peasant girl — both are objects, never the subject. in the library she reads the taming of the shrew and thinks, who am i to argue with shakespeare? quietly, she lets her dreams of being an artist die and resigns herself to the life of the muse.

tldr: cater to the male gaze and serve patriarchy but most importantly be yourself

[dreamescapeswriting]

Nothing To Prove ~ LF

WORD COUNT:3.4K

GENRE: idol au, reading pushing herself too much, angst with a soft ending, mentions of hate, rude comments toward reading being a little older than felix,

PAIRING: Felix Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Your life had become a revolving door of some sort, no matter what you just kept spinning and spinning around in the same thing over and over again. Every day started and ended the same way, it was as if you were a sim and someone was playing the most boring game that they could think of with you. And you loved your idol life, you loved that you were getting to do what you loved for a living but when your days were blurring together as one big mess and you were constantly doing the same thing it was getting exhausting.

Sighing to yourself you rolled over in your bed, picking up your phone and looking at the comments of your latest TikTok video you'd done. It was one with your boyfriend - Felix - and it was safe to say it was blowing up online but you weren't even bothered by that. You instantly went to the comments, as you did every time you and Felix filmed a video together. As usual, you looked through the comments and ignored the positives only seeing the negatives that were displayed for you.

It was like they were the only ones that stood out to you as if someone had highlighted them for you to see specifically and beat yourself up over them again and again.

User9800078: Why does she think she's better than all of us just because she gets to film with him?

Chanslefttoenail: I think she's using him for views, maybe they're only dating so she can get popular. Let's face it, she can't dance or sing.

JumboMeatyboy: She sucks. Why does JYPE even have her?!

YourmumsSkzoo: Isn't she too old for him? He's basically a baby and she's taking advantage of him.

None of them thought you were "too old" for him when they were shipping you together for the last year or so, the two of you had been together for two years and it was finally revealed a few months ago which had led to this whole ordeal with fans. Some of them accused you of using Felix while others were being downright mean about the age gap between you, despite it not even being that high of a gap. You knew people in worse age-gap relationships than you two yet none of that seemed to register anymore, you only seemed to agree with the haters and beat yourself up about everything. Somewhere along the lines, you'd decided that you were going to prove them all wrong, pushing yourself more and more every day to try and be better so they'd have something else to talk about. Trying to be a better girlfriend to Felix, playing the part of a dotting girlfriend and doing everything you could to gain their approval.

You figured if you trained harder and did more lives they'd realise how much you were trying, how important that this was to you and that you weren't using Felix in the slightest. So you took in a deep breath, shoved your phone into your pocket and made your way through your dorm to go and make some food for Felix.

It had become a slight routine for you now, every morning you'd get up and make some food for Felix and bring it to him at work, that was something good girlfriends did, right? You missed him a lot and making him food every day made you feel closer to him even when you couldn't be together. The two of you were dating but that didn't mean you got to live together like most couples, you were still an up-and-coming artist at JYP which meant you had to work triple the amount of Felix but you still wanted to see him and bring him things to make his day better.

"She looks like she'll give up at any minute, she's too old to do any of this now. Who even wanted her to be an idol?!"

"I heard she's with Felix to gain popularity, as soon as her second album drops I bet they break up. She's basically using him for views because she'll never get them on her own."

Words of people floated around in your head as you walked the halls of the JYP building toward your studio, it was dead when it was this early in the morning. Not many people wanted to come to work at 5 am but it wasn't as if you had much of a choice, you'd made yourself a schedule and you were sticking to it.

"Yn? You okay?" You jumped a little in surprise, snapping out of your daydream when you heard someone shouting your name, a hand touching your shoulder softly as you turned to see Chan smiling down at you.

Besides Felix, Chan had been one of the first people you'd made friends with when you joined JYP and you were quite close with one another in the sense that he was like a brother to you.

"I've been shouting your name for a while, I thought we could walk together..." Chan eyed you up as he stood by your side, you'd been acting off for a few weeks now and it was beginning to worry him and Felix.

"Sorry, I'm a million miles away," You laughed softly trying to play off the fact you hadn't heard him, you'd been so in your head and tired that you'd blanked everything out but Chan saw straight through it. He recognised the look you had on your face, the dullness in your eyes and he knew you'd barely slept and were overthinking something.

He was the leader of seven boys, and he knew that look better than anyone else you'd probably been reading too much of your comments section,

"Weren't you in rather late last night? Your manager should have given you the morning off." After extensive meetings with a few higher-ups Chan and a group of idols had managed to get it into the board members' heads that regular breaks were great instead of overworking their workers. The two of you began to walk down the hallway together and you prayed you could hold off this conversation before disappearing,

"I could say the same for you." You teased, trying to push off the conversation piece and get on with your day but Chan was like a dog with a bone. He could tell there was something biting away at you and he wasn't going to stop until he got to the bottom of it.

"I can't sleep, what's your excuse?" He stopped at your door and you opened it with your pin, reaching into your bag and getting out your schedule for the day that you'd made yourself checking to make sure you were on time for what you had planned.

"I have a comeback to prepare for. I'm not good enough yet," You told him before going into the room and locking it so that he could no longer pester you.

You knew Chan was only looking out for you but right now you didn't need that, you needed to practice, practice practice if you were ever going to make this comeback worthy of people's time.

She can't dance, she can't sing. She's basically there as a token girl so JYP could be the first to have an up-and-coming star from abroad.

 The words grew louder as you dropped your bag in the corner of the room and made your way over to the computer. There was going to be one way to drown them out and that was by blasting your song through the giant speakers on the wall and dancing your way out of your own head. 

Chan stood on the opposite side of the door until he heard your song playing and he shook his head, he needed to let Felix know what was going on with you. 

"Hey! I missed you this morning," Felix whined as you walked over to the canteen table where he was sitting, you smiled warmly at him and swallowed the lump that was in your throat. You needed to try and play it off as normal, you were supposed to have breakfast at 7 am in the canteen with him but you'd been doing vocal practice on your own and you'd run over on your time.

"Sorry, I had extra practice this morning and then some vocal training." It was a blatant lie, all of your training had finished two weeks ago but you were still in your studio every single day trying to hit the notes perfectly so that no one had a bad thing to say about you. 

"It's okay, tonight we can go out for food. Hyunjin found a really nice cafe-" Felix tried to talk but you were quick to cut him off with another excuse.

"I can't tonight, I promised to do a live stream," It was true, you'd put on Twitter that you'd be doing a dancing stream and people seemed excited about it. Felix eyed you up and looked over at Minho who could see straight through you as well, it was obvious that you were overworking yourself and after his talk with Chan that morning he was getting more and more worried.

For weeks now he'd been trying to get you to relax with him, taking you out more and offering you to stay at the dorms but you were shooting down all of his ideas and leaving him in the dark on it this time he wasn't going to let you off on it.

"You've been dancing all morning though, maybe you need to have a break." He reached his hand out and rubbed your arm softly but you stepped away from his touch, shrugging him off and shaking your head.

You were sick and tired of people telling you what you needed to do and not do when all you wanted was to get this routine done and perfect.

"I didn't come here to be told what to do." You snapped out, earning a stare from Minho who seemed shocked to hear you snap. It wasn't like you at all, you rarely got angry at anyone even when Seungmin stole your last slice of birthday cake.

"Yn, he's just looking out for you." Minho tried to defend Felxi who was still staring at you completely taken aback by the way you'd angrily spoken to him.

"I don't need anyone looking out for me, I'm fine." You bit out, dropping the lunch box onto the table in a huff, shaking your head as you turned to leave the table.

"Babe! You need to have lunch!" Felix called out, not caring about the way people were staring in his direction, all of them witnessing the small "fight" the two of you just had.

"I'll eat in the studio. I'll see you tomorrow." You shot him down by walking away and Felix sighed, how was he supposed to get you to relax when you were shutting him out every chance you got.

"What did she make for you?" Minho nodded at the lunch box and Felix sighed shaking his head, he hated that you weren't feeding yourself and instead choosing to go out of your way to feed him. He lifted the lid open and froze in place, 

"I think we need to talk to someone about her..." He admitted, turning the box to face Minho as four slices of bread lay in the box with nothing else on them. Clearly, you'd been too tired to even realise what you were doing while making the food for him,

"One last one and I think we'll call it a day," You breathed out heavily with a laugh as you looked into the phone camera that was aimed at you. You'd been dancing for the last two hours live and your fans were loving every second of it, though, of course, you'd been more focused on the hate comments that claimed you weren't working hard enough on the dances.

"Which do you guys want to see?" Your eyes went across the comments as you read them through as if you were some kind of circus monkeys for them to poke and do whatever they wanted you to.

"Catch me by WJSN." You whispered before finding the song on your phone and getting the song ready, you'd done the choreography before and the lift was easy enough for you to do that you felt pretty confident. It had been your audition song so it was no wonder people were excited to see you performing it again for them. 

As the song played you focused on dancing but comments you'd seen were playing over and over in your head.

She dancing to other groups so we'll spread them around and get more views.

Anything for attention

Is she wearing a skirt for more clicks from guys? What a slut.

You heard the crack before you felt it and you hit the floor with a thud, your whole head spinning as you stared up at the ceiling, you'd been about to do the flip was all you remembered as you lay there. A low pounding in your head as you whimpered a little, completely forgetting the camera that was trained on you. Shakey breaths left your throat as you lay there completely still, scared to move as the world around you began to grow quieter. The words inside of your head finally dull down and drown away as you just let yourself relax for the first time in weeks.

"Yn!?" The door crashed open, the hinges flying somewhere in the room as Felix rushed over to you. He'd been watching the Live from his studio with the boys when they saw it all happen. They'd been trying to get the door open for two minutes now, all while keeping an eye on you through the live to make sure you hadn't passed out yet,

"I'll cut the live." Minho called out as he ran for your phone, the live cutting as you shook your head, sitting up. Everything came crashing back to you as you realised what you were supposed to be doing, there was no time to sit on the floor and rest when you had something to prove to everyone.

"N-No! No, I need to keep going," You yelled out, attempting to move but Felix had his hands on your shoulders refusing to let you go, staring at you as he shook his head. It was as if you didn't even feel your leg pain which worried him more as he waited for Changbin and Seungmin to come back with the first aiders on sight, Chan was already calling an ambulance.

"Your leg is broken, you're not moving and you might even have a concussion," Felix couldn't help the shake in his voice as he let out a worried whimper, he should have come to get you after lunch and refused to let you do anything else for the rest of the day. 

"I need to keep going, they need to see I can do this, that I'm good at what I do." You whispered, your head starting to spin as you held onto Felix trying to steady yourself a little.

"Yn, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone." He whispered as you stared back at him, at least the one that you thought was him since there were three of him staring back at you right now.

"I'm...I'm tired," You finally admitted, your eyes getting far too heavy for you to keep open anymore,

"Don't. Don't sleep. Baby, you need to stay awake until the paramedics get here," Felix's voice was getting further and further away as your eyes shut and you could no longer hear anything going on around you.

Beeping. That was all you heard as you let out a low grunt rolling over in search of your phone but you couldn't find it, your eyes slowly peeled open to see that you weren't even in your bedroom.

"Don't move, I'll call for the nurse." A voice spoke from the left of your bed, you slowly turned over with a whimper and stared at Felix who looked worried sick and you took in the appearance of the room. 

"What happened?" You slowly sat up in the bed, hissing as you felt something sharp in your arm and you stared down at the IV that was pumping fluids into you.

"You broke your leg and not to mention you've been working yourself to the point of exhaustion," Felix whined, moving closer to the bed and holding your hand in his, you stared down at your leg that was in a cast. Worries began to fill your mind as you wondered how you were going to do your comeback with a cast attached to your leg. You still had parts to film for your music video and there was no way you could dance with your cast like this.

"How am I going to perform? My comeback is in less than a month." Felix knew you were going to react like this which was why he'd already made sure you weren't going to worry about work for a while.

"They've postponed it, given the circumstances-" He tried to speak but your head shot around to him and you shook your head,

"No...No, Felix, I have to do-" Felix smirked as he cut you off this time, 

"You're doing nothing but rest." He ordered, his authoritative tone taking you back a little as you stared at him.

"You've taken time off and so have I, we're not going to do anything until you're rested up." He smiled weakly as he noticed you pouting a little.

"Easy for you to say when you're already great at what you do." You mumbled it under your breath but Felix caught it and got into the bed beside you, squeezing your hands a little.

"So are you, Yn you're fantastic at everything you do...Whoever said you did is wrong and jealous." You sniffled a little looking at him,

"I saw your comment section, you're banned from looking at them now," He told you as he snuggled closer to you, your head coming to rest on his shoulder as you cuddled into him.

"Lix...They hate me,"

"They don't hate you, they're jealous that you get to do what they want." He hated that you'd been dealing with this all alone, he should have known that you were looking at the hate it was something he used to do a lot too. 

"I-" The tears you'd been holding back finally let go and it was like someone had set the dam free and you couldn't stop sobbing into his shoulder.

"I've got you. No one is ever going to hurt you while I'm here," He rubbed your back softly letting you let everything out that you'd been holding back. 

After a lot of convincing Felix had gotten you to stay at the dorms with him on your break and it had made the world of difference to you. You seemed much happier after resting for the last two months, as much as you hated having to postpone your comeback people had seemed understanding about it from what you'd been allowed to see.

Your comment sections were monitored a lot closer by your team and you weren't allowed to look at it a lot or for too long.

"You're back next week, are you getting excited?" Felix chuckled as you danced around the dorm, you'd gotten your cast off last week but you still had a little time off.

"I am, but I'm going to miss hanging out with you all the time." You pouted before plopping yourself down on the sofa beside him and cuddling into him,

"But we'll make time for each other, remember the plan?" The plan he was referring to was that the two of you were taking two days out of the week to spend time alone doing absolutely nothing, or going out to dinner. But you were making time for one another and that was the most important part to all of this. 

"I do, we should go and try that seaweed soup place. We can take innie," You whispered as the two of you began to plan what you were both going to do for the rest of your time off. You felt unstoppable with him by your side now.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @myyouthdonut @extrhotjne @ca11me3mily @elissasimp @xakx @sleepb @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @kpopmenace143 @minhosify @loveforred @b1nn1e-1s-cut3

[finelinefae]

Bestie I literally just read flower and I’m OBSESSED and I can imagine y/n trying to turn tattooh into a swiftie whilst he tries to explain the rap beef to y/n 😭

no bc this was such a good and unique idea i had to write a little something for it !!

wordcount: 1.3k

. . .

“Okay, so what was it again?” Y/N asked, a dip between her brows as she fastened the bow on a bouquet of flowers she was completing for a baby shower they had been invited to next weekend. 

“So Kendrick-”

“The guy who featured on Bad Blood?” Y/N double-checked. 

Harry chuckles, “I mean he’s also a Pulitzer Prize winner but that too.” She nods, waiting for him to continue, “So he featured on a song with a bunch of other artists basically taking aim at J Cole and Drake-”

“Oh I know him, he posted a picture of him and Taylor on his Instagram that one time two years ago,” Y/N says. 

Harry nods, desperate to finish explaining to her the current online events he had been obsessively keeping track of over the past twenty-four hours, “Right, right. So anyway,” Harry continued to explain the ongoing tension in the world of rap circling the internet with Y/N nodding a long, nothing but confusion on her face. 

Amongst many things, Y/N and Harry’s music tastes were polar opposites. Whilst Y/N loved pop - Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Olivia Rodrigo - Harry tended to lean more towards alternate music, genres like rap and grunge or anything before the 2000’s. He loved rock bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. On their first New Year’s Eve together, they’d spent the entire night at a karaoke bar in the city, four Shania Twain sons deep by the time the clock hit midnight. 

Although they were at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to their music tastes, they loved talking to each other about what they were listening to. They would share their weekly Spotify stats over dinner at the end of each week and make playlists for each other to listen to whenever they were taking the train somewhere. 

As Harry finished explaining, Y/N picked up the bouquet and carried it over to where he was sitting, placing it on the table in front of him. 

Even as he was speaking, Harry automatically reached out to slide an arm around her waist beneath her fuzzy, pink cardigan rubbing circles with his thumb over the exposed bit of skin on her hip. 

“That sounds… really complicated, H.” Y/N sighed, “I’d hate to get into an argument like that.”

Harry smiled at how adorable she looked with pouty lips and concern on her face, “Lucky for you flower, y’ much too difficult to get into any kind of argument with.” 

Harry and Y/N rarely had major arguments. Typically, their disagreements were over minor or unimportant matters, often ending with Harry showering her with kisses as an apology or Y/N clinging to him until he forgave her.

“And he wants Drake to die?” Y/N gasps, “That’s awful.”

Harry nods, watching her hands carefully move around the flowers in the bouquet to get them in the perfect place. “Hmm, ‘s not the nicest thing to say to a person,”

Y/N sighed, sitting on his thigh when her legs got too tired from standing. His lips puckered against the base of her exposed neck from where she had tied her curls up with a scrunchie. He inhaled the floral perfume he had bought her for Valentine’s Day. She was obsessed with it, dousing herself in it every morning and before she went to bed.

“Have you listened to Taylor’s new album by the way?” Y/N wondered, turning to hook her leg over his other thigh so she was straddling him. She was pressed between him and the worktop, her arms moving around his neck and fingers fiddling with the curly baby hairs by his neck. 

Harry winced, “Ummm…”

“Harry,” Y/N huffed, “You said you would listen to it so I could talk you through it track by track.” 

“I know! I’m getting to it, y’know I’ve jus’ been busy this week.” Harry stated, which was true. It had been the school holidays and a lot more customers had visited both their shops than usual. 

“The album came out weeks ago,” Y/N said, pushing herself off of him to start putting everything away for tomorrow. 

Before she could take one step, Harry grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him, “I will, baby - promise, I’ll get to it and then y’ can talk for as long as y’ want all about it. Y’ can even put your pj’s on and show me y’ little dance y’ used to do when I heard y’ havin’ y’ little solo parties before we met,” He smirked against her neck. 

Y/N blushed, clearing her throat and moving away. Her eyes narrowed, “You better.” She walked back to the front desk, “And they weren’t solo parties! Marsh was there too,” She said, referring to her little cat. 

. . .

During her lunch break, Y/N reached for her bag to eat the pasta salad Harry had prepared for her that morning before they left for work. When she unzipped the bag, she found his Star Wars lunchbox inside instead of her own.

She slid off her seat and walked straight to his tattoo shop next door, knowing he had probably mixed up their lunches and ended up with her Cinnamoroll one.

She pushed the door open, expecting to hear the strums of an electric guitar or the low grovel of an indie rock band playing over the Bluetooth speakers. But instead, she was shocked to hear the voice of her favourite singer. 

Her heart soared even before she saw him as she walked past the front desk. "Hey Mike, what's with the music?" She asked as if she didn’t know already.

“Harry insisted he put it on this morning. You have to go in there and tell him it’s killing the vibe.” Mike grumbled, taking a puff of the vape in his hand. 

Y/N smiled, “I quite like it.”

“Of course you do,” He rolled his eyes. 

Y/N walked through to the back rooms where she heard the steady sounds of a tattoo gun. Her eyes found Harry, deeply focused on the design he was tattooing on someone’s wrist. 

Y/N stood to one side and waited patiently, “Okay that’s all done,” Harry clicked his tongue, pushing his chair away and wrapping up the tattoo for the customer. 

After the customer had left, she stepped into the room, “Hi Harry,” She beamed, floating over to him. He looked so cute and cuddly today, wearing a grey sweatshirt and black trousers with his usual Doc Martens and a navy-coloured beanie to cover his curls. 

A smile carved onto Harry’s face, “Hi flower,” He removed his gloves and met her halfway, pulling her into a hug and kissing her softly. 

“Missed you,” She murmured against his lips. 

“Miss you always, flower.” He brushed a loose curl behind her ear, “Thought I wasn’t meeting y’ ‘til later?”

“Oh,” She pulled out the lunchbox and handed it to him, “I think we got our lunches mixed up,” 

Harry furrowed his brows, grabbing the plastic bag with his lunch inside only to find her pink lunchbox instead. He chuckles, “Ah, must have been the early morning getting to me.”

“S okay,” Y/N grins, “I like your music choice by the way.”

Harry smirked, “Promised a girl something,”

“Oh really?” Y/N’s grin deepened, “Well I’m sure she’ll be very happy you kept your promise.”

“I’ve been thinking about her all morning, getting to hear her talk non-stop later about her favourite songs.” He says, her arms sliding up his torso to meet at the back of his back. 

She stood on her toes, his head dropping and their noses brushing together, “All morning?” 

“All the time,” He breathes, “Can’t seem to stop thinking about her since I met her.”

“Hmm, well she’s a very lucky girl.” Y/N murmurs.

His lips met hers, the low light above shining down on them as the Tortured Poets Department came to an end and ‘Lover’ played on shuffle over the speakers of his tattoo parlour. 

[bloodyinkandquill]

Dom x Reader, Valk and Reader idol reader who’s being harassed by toxic fans

writing this in math class, i’m so tired lmao, why’d i have to stay up listening to a true crime podcast, anyways hope this is good! it’s probably my most specific request as of now

- The first time you saw them, a concert some friends invited you to, you didn’t expect much, you knew a song or two, but you didn’t think it would be that cool, how wrong you were, as soon as it started you were inthralled, everything about it, the lights, the stage, the effects, it all served to mystify you, as it came to a close and the two idols said their thanks and goodbyes you knew, you wanted to do what they did

- You already could sing, so perfecting it was the biggest challenge, once you did you started everything else, finding a label, creating your online image, the whole shebang, it was tiring work but it was all worth it, you were gaining traction, fans, tons of streams on your first album, and then you got an invite to a celebrity party, so many big names were doing to be there, including the idols themselves, Flipside

- You dressed impressively while still being related to your branding and swallowed your nerves as you attended it, so many famous faces were there, it was intimidating but also so rewarding, this proved you were making it in the competitive world of fame, it’s there that you met them, Dom and Valk, easily the most famous and well known idols and singers in all of the Inpherno, you took a deep breath before walking to the two brothers and starting a casual conversation, much to your surprise and delight they recognized you, it was an amazing feeling, you exchanged pleasantries before Dom glanced around to see if anyone was listening before asking you if you wanted to hear something funny that happened earlier

- You looked at him intrigued as Valk immediately snapped his head towards his brother face red with embarrassment, Dom went on to tell you that one of their friends while out with some other friends spotted him and Valk while out doing something and paid one of said friends 500 bux to jump over Valk, it went about a great as you’d expect, you instantly cracked up, careful to not be too loud since you didn’t wanna bring major attention to the conversation, Valk softly punched his brother’s arm grumbling out that he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone

- Dom just chuckled before saying ‘Nah, they won’t tell, right?’ While giving you a grin and what you assumed was a wink, a one-eyed wink, you flushed very slightly but promised not to tell with a light chuckle, from there the conversation was a lot more casual and genuine, you enjoyed your time with them beyond them being the Flipside

- From there you guys began to have a friendly fake rivalry, which helped your popularity boom, especially with the release of your newest album, then behind closed doors you began to get closer to them, becoming good friends in Valk’s case and maybe even more in Dom’s, nothing had ever officially happened or been confessed but you two would share looks a little too intimate for just friends, purposely have your fingers brush each others if walking next to each other, and having conversations maybe a little deeper than a platonic relationship would

- Everything was paradise, that was until the flooding began, you had gotten your fair share of hate, that comes with the territory of being an idol, but after one particularly ‘mean’ rival comment about Flipside some of their very… dedicated, fans began to think it was too far, you had run it by both of them and they both said it was fine, but you doubted even if you said that they’d care

- You began receiving small but very persistent harassment online, someone even went as far as to doxx you, luckily it was taken care of very quickly to the point the media didn’t even know it occurred and no one came to your residence but it was still terrifying, things only progressed, meaner comments, even more persistent hate

- It was starting to become too much, you tried everything you could, blocking accounts, not checking social media as much, etc but it didn’t matter, they’d find ways to send you hate, threats, insults, whatever, you kept it together well publicly, the general public didn’t even know this was occurring, to everyone you were completely fine, only you knew you were faking it all

- While hanging out with Flipside one day, just a casual thing at their house chatting, maybe going to play some video games later, one of them asked something that caused a chain reaction, tears began flowing, you couldn’t stop, barely able to form words as you sobbed out the pressure being too much to handle, the dam had broke and the flood released, instantly both of them were surrounding you, offering any comfort they could, trying to discern what had caused this, Valk ran to grab you some water as Dom squeezed your hand, he was being so sweet and gentle things to you, honestly it might have made you cry more at just how good to you he was being

- Eventually you composed yourself enough to finally admit everything that’s been happening, showing them some of the worst things you’ve been sent and experienced, they looked so concerned for you, Dom giving you a tight hug that made the waterworks start again, at some point Valk asked why you didn’t tell them, even if not purposely they had caused it, you said you didn’t wanna seem weak, or like you were overreacting, it came with the job, you were supposed to be able to handle it, Dom looked you in the eyes so genuinely as he said that your not meant to deal with this level of harassment, they don’t receive that awful of hate for that long of a period, you don’t need to shoulder this alone, that broke you again, that night you fell asleep in Dom’s bed, they both wanted you to stay at their place, worried about you, they had a guest bedroom but you very sheepishly asked Dom if you could sleep in his bed, he gave you a smile and you fell asleep in his arms, you were exhausted from how much you were crying you fell asleep almost instantly

- The next day Valk published a public statement saying that the kind of behavior you witnessed would absolutely never be tolerated, the rivalry you had with Flipside was completely for show, and they would not tolerate harassment of such a close friend, Valk took your phone for the day, he figured you needed a break from it and he made sure you just had a day away from social media

- Him and Dom just had you stay at their place for the day, relaxing and being there for you, if you and Dom kissed, that was confidential, and if it did happen weither or not Valk made very obnoxious remarks about it like kissing noises or that kissing in a tree song thing, was also a mystery

- Slowly things started getting better, the hate had died down significantly and you received so much support form other fans, sure it was still an awful thing to experience but Dom and Valk were there for you the entire time when you needed, and you became closer to the both, in different ways but still

sorry the ending is abrupt i could think of any other ways to end it, i’m also so tired, i said i was writing this in math but hah, that didn’t happen i wrote just about all of this after classes, i’ll get this posted then start on my next request which is uh… the darkheart x reader hcs

[pancakes4two]

sweet nothings

wc: 2.1k

preview: The rest of the world is so eager to view him like an object, assume that just because he spends his life in the public view, he’s somehow devoid of insecurities. But to you, he’s still the same Harry who cried backstage at Wembley after his voice cracked during a solo. The same shy, innocent boy who vomited backstage after his first show, terrified that he’d messed it all up.

An article criticizing Harry blows up on the internet, and it hits him harder than expected. Luckily, you’re there to help pick up the pieces.

MASTERLIST | READ MY LATEST SERIES

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructers, and smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more," to you I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it.

—Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift

———

The article is released on a Friday afternoon. It's absolutely brutal—rips single every creative project Harry's ever done to shreds and leaves no endeavor unscathed. Every sentence is a biting remark, each paragraph swirled with vile accusations. It starts by criticizing his film roles, the creative direction he took in his third album, then accuses him of extorting his own fans. The author questions not only his artistry but his personhood, digs up unverified claims of rudeness and twists them into a narrative of Harry being an egotistical, ungrateful pop star. Within the hour, almost every major news station has picked the story up. It doesn’t matter how far-fetched it is. The internet takes to the author’s vitriol like wildfire, sharing it across social media platforms and online forums. Everyone wants to be the first to say they always knew something wasn’t quite right about him, that it’s about time someone knocked him off his pedestal.

It’s disgusting in every sense of the word. And it hurts even more because Harry is blissfully unaware. He’s asleep beside you now, the two of you having settled into bed to take a quick nap together three hours earlier, when the internet had yet to point their pitchforks towards him. You know he’s been overextending himself lately, still sleeping off the jet lag from tour but unwilling to slow down his life on account of tiredness. He’s always been like that, so dedicated to his music, because to him, putting less than two-hundred percent into the thing he loves most would be a waste. You can hardly remember the last time he’d slept earlier than two after coming home—even without touring commitments, he’s still found a way to keep himself busy—staying late in the studio and meeting with executives from his record label to review the marketing plan for his next album. He’s always thinking about the future, how he can reinvent himself and make sure he can stay doing what he loves for as long as possible.

It’s why he’d deserved this chance to unwind and relax in the quiet of your home. But now, he’s going to wake up to a rogue journalist completely assassinating his character, when all he’s ever wanted to do is sing and make others happy. The way you see it, it’s not the least bit fair.

You look at Harry and brush his curls away from his face gently so as to not wake him. Your phone is still turned on, the article glaring angrily against your palm as you watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, his arm curled around your waist and his legs tangled with yours as if he can’t bear to be far away from you even in slumber. You wish everyone else could see him like this: soft and vulnerable, his lips upturned ever-so-slightly like he’s dreaming about something particularly pleasant.

The rest of the world is so eager to view him like an object, assume that just because he spends his life in the public view, he’s somehow devoid of insecurities. But to you, he’s still the same Harry who cried backstage at Wembley after his voice cracked during a solo. The same shy, innocent boy who vomited backstage after his first show, terrified that he’d messed it all up. Ten years down the road and he’s gained confidence, for sure. But when he’s not busy being this glittering, hip-wiggling rockstar who moves like he’s got the whole world in the palm of his hand, he’s just Harry. He still wrings his hands nervously before every performance, burns his tongue on hot tea that’s meant to preserve his voice. You remember what he said to you back in June before his first stadium show: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be someone who doesn’t care about what others think of them. He cares more than the article’s author and the legions of people criticizing his every move online will ever know.

You shuffle forward, closing the gap between your bodies and press a soft kiss into Harry’s forehead. You don’t expect him to stir from it, but it seems he was just about to wake up naturally before you disturbed him, so his eyes slowly open and he smiles when his vision focuses on you. You try to school your expression into something relatively normal. Unfortunately, Harry knows you too well and can immediately tell that something’s off. In any other situation, you’d be impressed by how well he can read you. Even with his mind suspended between alertness and sleep, he knows you’re upset and reaches for your hand in concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Harry asks, rubbing circles into the back of your hand. He knows the repetitive motion grounds you when you’re anxious, so he continues to graze your skin with his thumb, willing you to relax.

“H—“ you start to say, but you’re cut off by the sound of Harry’s ringtone. He reaches over you to grab his phone from the nightstand, his other hand still clasped with yours. When he falls back into the mattress, you manage to get a glance at his phone screen. It’s displaying an incoming call from Jeff. Fuck.

Harry accepts the call, still ignorant to the situation. His gaze flickers over your face as the line connects—he's clearly still worried about you.

"Hey, H," Jeff says. You can hear him sigh through the phone, "have you been online recently?"

"Been asleep for the past," Harry pauses to check the time, "three hours, so that would be a no."

"Shit," Jeff says, sounding significantly less collected than he usually does. "Okay. Um, do me a favor and stay off of social media for now. I'll call you when it's all been resolved."

"What?" Harry sits up slightly at the sound of Jeff's voice, running a hand through his hair. "I'm confused. Is everything alright?"

"Listen, it's fine. I've got it all under control, just... don't go on Instagram, or Twitter, or anything."

"Jeff," Harry groans, "don't be cryptic. You're obviously dealing with something that's got to do with me, don't you think I have a right to know what's going on?"

There's silence over line for a bit, Jeff clearly ruminating over whether or not to tell Harry the truth. You chew on your lip worriedly, waiting for his voice to come through again.

"There's an article that’s been published online," Jeff starts, "and it's highly critical of you. It's circulating through social media right now, and we're trying to put a stop to it. I've got a meeting with your label's attorneys in a few minutes, but seriously H, for your own good please do not read it. We'll have it taken down by the end of the day."

"Oh," Harry blinks, clearly caught off-guard. You can't blame him for it. People don't normally wake up from naps and find out half the internet has turned against them. "Alright. That's fine. Um, call me if you need anything. Good luck."

"H, I'm serious, don't—" Jeff begins, but Harry hangs up before he can finish his sentence. He's already sat up fully in bed, back leaning against the headboard as he types away furiously on his phone. You don't try to stop him from Googling the article; he deserves to see what's been written. You just sit up next to him and silently run a hand down his arm, tracing where the fabric of his t-shirt ends and the familiar ink on his skin begins. You reach for him and let him know that he has you to lean on.

"You know what they've written isn't true," you whisper, "you know that." It’s all you can say for now.

Harry doesn't respond to that, his eyes too busy scanning through the article. He spends the next seven minutes reading every word silently, taking each criticism and judgement in. When he’s finished, Harry shuts his phone off with a click and sets it down silently on the bedside table. You avert your eyes from him, afraid that if you look up you might be able to see every morsel of hurt on his face.

In the end, Harry’s the first to break the silence.

“Who approved that?” Is what he says, his voice faltering almost imperceptibly at the end. It’s quiet enough that only someone who knows him as well as you do would be able to notice.

“H,” you respond, splaying your hand across his chest and letting his head fall gently onto your shoulder.

“None of that is real. It’s not a reflection of who you are.” You say that with conviction. He’s got the most beautiful soul, does everything with so much heart. He’s so full of love that at times you worry he might burst from it. It’s completely unfair what he’s been reduced to.

“You can only read shitty things about yourself for so long before you start to believe them,” Harry says brokenly, and his composure gives away then. He takes a trembling breath in and you feel a wetness start to form on the sleeve of your shirt. You don’t have to look at him to know he’s crying.

It’s in moments like these where his façade starts to crumble, and you see him transform back into the boy you once knew, before the whole world knew his name. Spending every day terrified that at any given moment, people wouldn’t want to listen to his voice anymore and the rug would be pulled from under his feet. Fearing that he might wake up one day and have to return to Holmes Chapel, even though he’s always been too big for the small town he grew up in.

“Love,” you say, pressing a hand to his cheek. His skin is flushed and you can see the ghost of a tear falling down the side of his face. “How is anyone meant to believe anything they’ve said is valid, when they don’t know you? I know exactly who you are, and the person they’re talking about in that article is not it.”

Harry sniffles at that, pulling himself closer to you. You see him glance at his phone, so you turn it over facedown and revert your full attention back to him.

“You’re so incredibly special,” you continue, carding your hands soothingly through his hair, “you’ve achieved an immense amount of success in the last ten years. You’ve impacted so many people, used your platform to do so much good. There’s always going to be people who want more from you, who criticize and tell you you’re not doing enough. But you are doing enough, H. Seriously. You’re only human, and it’s not your fault that others expect you to be more than that. And even so, I think you make a pretty exceptional human already. You know how many people walk up to me when I’m alone and ask me to tell you that you’ve changed their lives? There’s so many that I’d lost track of the number about seven years ago.”

Harry opens his mouth to say something in response, but you pat his face gently and give him a smile as if to say, I’m not finished yet.

“And beyond that, who cares about the industry, about what faceless people online have to say about you? At the end of the day, you’re enough. I’m not here for the Harry Styles who fills stadiums or commands attention at movie premieres. I’m here for the Harry who accidentally leaves the coffee pot on for too long because he’s too busy trying to get me to dance with him in the kitchen. For the Harry who keeps movie stubs and pebbles deep inside his pockets because he wants to keep a souvenir to remind him of every little thing we’ve done together. The Harry who’s a huge sentimental sap, who’s got the biggest heart in the world.”

You finish with a sigh, gazing at Harry earnestly and hoping that he can feel the gravity of your words.

“You’re right,” Harry smiles softly, clasping a hand around your wrist, voice slightly raspy still. “I shouldn’t let it get to my head. It’s just hard sometimes, you know? I feel like I might be a little too soft for all of it.”

“I love your softness and vulnerability,” you say, “And getting upset when people are dragging your name through the mud is perfectly normal. I can’t even begin to imagine how overwhelming it is for you. But you’ll always have me right here beside you. And trust me, I’d be going to war for you over Twitter right now if I knew Jeff wouldn’t kill me for doing so.”

Harry laughs at that, loud and open in the way that you love. “My Princess Charming,” he says, wrapping his arms around you in a crushing hug. “Forever prepared to defend my honor.”

True to his word, Jeff and Columbia’s legal team get the article taken down in record time. They say Harry’s allowed to post a response to it, if he wants, but he’s never been one to start fights over the internet so he settles on this instead.

A single picture, posted to his Instagram of your hands, your fingers intertwined like the two of you were built to be extensions of each other. The caption is simple. It reads:

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they’re push and shoving; you’re in the kitchen humming

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

He turns the comments off, not wanting to entertain any further commentary. It’s a picture meant for just the two of you, a reminder that all the noise coming from the outside means nothing when you have each other. It’s sweet. It’s nothing. And yet somehow, it’s everything you’ll ever need.

———

reblogs & feedback are highly welcomed and appreciated <3

TAGLIST: @crazygirlinthisworld​ @grapejuice-rry​ @b-reads-things​ @s8tellite @michellekstyles​ @vrittivsanghavi @alienorknight​ @flwrmuse 

[mars-and-the-theoi]

Low energy Devotional Acts for when you don’t have a lot of energy (or time, or money, etc.) pt. 9

🔥Hestia🔥

- put on one of those fireplace videos, or light a candle, or if able light your own fire in the fireplace (or have a bonfire)

- listen to a devotional playlist for Her

- if able do some cooking/baking

- if unable to do that gather some recipes either online or in any cookbooks you may have!

- watch a cooking/baking show

- try your hand at making bread

- watch home renovating, decorating, etc. shows/videos

- if able do some cleaning- doesn’t have to be anything huge just something small like maybe just picking some socks up off the floor or something

- enjoy a hot drink (tea, coffee, hot cocoa)

- watch your comfort movie/show

- if able learn how to knit, crochet, etc. or do some if you know how and are able

- if unable watch knitting or crocheting videos/tutorials

- if able (in every sense of the word here) spend some time with your family or text/call them can be your blood family or chosen family or even your good friends! (Family can be anything you want it to be imo)

- look up important home keeping skills! And watch videos or tutorials on them if you don’t know them (like mending clothes, ironing, etc.) which are all good skills to have ((I add this one because I know at least in America home ec classes have been cut and are pretty much nonexistent like I went through it in middle school but then they got rid of it once I went to high school and in hs it wasn’t mandatory like it was in middle school))

- read up on how to be a good host or guest

- if you like hosting events plan your next gathering

- go through photo albums or pictures and reminisce on the happy, funny, and joyful moments

- if able donate to a food bank (I personally go through my kitchen about 6 times a year-I do a lot of the kitchen work/organizing in my family as I do the cooking so y’know I’m already there so I may as well-and whatever I haven’t used or no longer have plans for I donate! Ofc make sure it’s not expired first and also if able include things like a manual can opener and such! So even though I don’t have too much money myself this system enables me to still be able to help which personally makes me feel good as I grew up utilizing those things so it’s nice to help!)

- if you have pets spend some time with them! They’re important family members as well! Maybe spoil them with their favorite treat and/or activity! Cuddle with them! Just let them know they’re valued and loved family members as well

- be kind to the homeless (yes, even the “bad” ones they’re ppl too and unnecessarily cruelty isn’t helping anything)

- look up ways to help the homeless and if you’re able help out or volunteer or donate (I might make a separate post on stuff to donate as there’s a lot of stuff some folks don’t think about when it comes to giving donates and such)

- hell you could even volunteer or donate to an animal shelter! If that’s more for you and something you’re more comfortable with! They’re homeless too are they not? (I do some volunteer work at the animal shelter myself so I’m very passionate about this)

(and if you have to utilize anything like food banks or government assistance in any capacity work on not feeling bad for needing those things. I know, easier said than done trust me I know again I grew up using those things. But you’re simply getting what you need to survive. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not bad, you haven’t failed, you’re not a leech, etc. you’re just someone trying to survive and there’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in needing help. And not only is that a great devotional act in itself, it’s also just great in general. I do a lot of activist work and such and trust that there’s people who care and people who-again, like me-get it. You’re okay. You’re still a good person. And still deserving of good things.)

[lovesickhughes]

wait ok i need you to write something trevor zegras based on a taylor song from rep, i saw u said it’s ur fave album so maybe call it what you want or king of my heart but honestly any song at all 🫣

a/n: anything for you 🥰 call it what you want is my all time favourite & the song that welcomed me to become a swiftie so it holds a special place in my heart 🥹 i hope you like it 🫶🏻✨

warnings: none except an overwhelming amount of fluff!

tags: trevor zegras x reader

word count: 0.8k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"god, it's like i can't even go online anymore with another one of those bot accounts making some stupid, half-assed comment about us." you said through a laugh to the boy next to you on the couch. trevor had finally had a day off from his busy hockey schedule with the ducks, so the two of you had decided what better way to spend the time together, than at home in the comfort of each other while you spent countless hours cuddling and watching movies.

trevor had immersed himself in a round of video games with a few of his other teammates while you had gone to do a load of laundry, as an intermission to your movie session. when you returned, you contently watched on the couch as he continued focusing intently on the screen before him.

"oh, c'mon, you know it's bullshit, y/n. they just say those things out of spite and because there's jealous." he responded, eyes still glued to his game. your mouth downturned into a frown at his lack of awareness towards something that has previously upset you. trevor knew that it was a sensitive topic for you, the comments of outsiders would always linger and keep you up at night, regardless of if you looked at them or not. even if you chose to ignore it, you knew they were still there.

"yeah, i know. but that's such a cliche; some of those things hit deep, whether they're saying it out of spite," you responded with a hint of mockery laced in your voice, nudging his hip with your foot to get his attention, to which you received no response, making you even more frustrated with the boy.

"y/n," he sighed, "you know, no matter what they say, that doesn't change how i feel about you." he promised, stopping his game and turning to face you. as he saw your saddened state as your shoulders shrugged down, his eyes slightly widened before he rushed to your side and pulled you into him so you were now laying on his chest. you inhaled his familiar scent that had seeped into the fabric of his soft hoodie you gifted him, and you felt yourself relax into him, as he pulled you into a tighter hug.

"it just gets to be too much sometimes, y'know?" you mumbled into his chest before lifting your head to meet his softened gaze. he reached forward to cup your cheek, meeting your lips with a soft and wet kiss, your lips detaching like velcro from wanting more from each other.

"i know, y/n. but i want you to know that there is nothing in this world that could change the way i feel about you. you are the best thing to ever happen to me, and i will forever be grateful that we bumped into each other that one day, or else we wouldn't be here." he paused to give you a soft smile, "i don't know what i would do without you, and letting people online get in your head to convince you otherwise? it's not worth your time, my love." he said looking into your eyes as every word fell of his tongue with such meaning, you could feel your heart warming and you broke out in a smile in response.

"i love you, trev, i don't know what i'd do without you either, you're an angel sent from above. you've made my world such a better place now that you're in it, and even though it's discouraging, being with you like this," you motion to your proximity, "it makes me feel like they fade to nothing when i look at you."

you lips reconnect with his, with more intimacy and passion this time, as you readjust yourself to be sitting, pressed against each other to feel each other's warmth.

you part, resting your foreheads against each other and laugh at the silence, "honestly, i'd wear your initial on a chain around my neck if i could," you spoke randomly, earning a raised eyebrow from trevor as he then furrowed his brows in confusion.

"you would? i mean- that seems a little possessive, don't you?" he asked, rubbing his hand up and down the side of your arm.

"no, well- i wouldn't wear it in a way that says you own me, more so, because you really know me." you stated with a shrug.

the pair of you look at each other in silence, each of you confused at what you had just said, before bursting into laughter as he lunged towards you, carefully tackling you back onto the couch so you laid under him as he attacked your face with wet kisses.

he pulled away from you, looking down with shortness of breath from his surge of energy, "you're crazy, you know that?" he asked.

"what are you talking about, you love crazy." you responded, which only ended up with you laughing endlessly from the kisses he placed all over your face and neck.

[glass--beach]

I've been a fan of your music long enough to remember when you used to identify as trans fem. what's it been like circling back around to that and figuring out your identity now that you're doing it sort of in the public eye?

honestly it’s been nicer this time around. i sense a kindred spirit in every trans woman i talk to and it’s really lovely hearing from those who related to my music and figured out their own identity through that. it’s giving me a space where i know i will be accepted. i still boymode pretty often on the road and before tour was nearly always boymoding… there’s almost a safety on stage but despite being literally a performance it feels more real than when i’m not presenting fem. i’ve also now been girlmode out in public a lot after shows and not attracted any negative attention which is nice. even when there was an alt right harassment campaign against the band account they were gendering me correctly.

years ago it was much tougher for me, wearing feminine clothes at random diy shows or whatever. it was often in spaces that were anti transphobia on paper but did nothing to enforce against transmisogyny in practice. even in explicitly queer spaces i felt outcast. online was even harsher - which is really what made me increasingly scared to present fem as there were more and more eyes on me. there were many many trans women i looked up to a lot then but i felt they were so much braver than me. being nonbinary and vaguely “masculine” became a shield at the cost of being called a dude or a guy or just assumed to be male absolutely constantly, and after enough of it i kinda just didn’t want to show my face anywhere… the irony of having made what many considered to be iconic transfem music while feeling so closeted myself was honestly insulting.

with the recent album release and tour it kinda hit a breaking point because i knew a big wave of misgendering was coming if i wasn’t just honest with myself and everyone else. even saying she/they was softening the blow a bit. lots of people just stuck with they. and plenty of writers & critics still seem blissfully unaware that there is anything queer about me or my band or are simply too scared to write about it, idk. but i feel like i’ve come out of my shell a good bit. i’m not just playing shows, i’ve been able to socialize and party on off days and speak my mind more freely and dress in a way that makes me feel pretty. it’s really like flipping a switch - not just for me, but everybody else. EVERYONE treats me differently when i girlmode and i love it so so much, i feel like others are more willing to open up and to treat me with kindness and (respectfully) compliment my appearance and i feel like women (cis and trans) relate to me more, which is a whole lot better than feeling like i relate to nobody most of the time. it’s an entirely different set of social scripts that just feel so much more “right” to me, so much easier for me to embody, than the male social scripts. i know a lot of people feel like gender is bullshit and bad inherently and good for them but for me that mentality was a way to hide it think. i feel absolutely liberated in embracing femininity! :) thank you for the lovely question, i have so much to say on this

[mimipuppet]

Lotm idol fic idea

As a devout fan of the idol, Klein Moretti, there were a lot of things that Audrey Hall would do to support him. Whether it would be buying his concert tickets, merch, albums, nothing was ever too much for the rich private school girl.

Of course it also meant keeping his location a secret from everyone else.

She had been quick enough to act normally around the man for the most part, introducing herself to him and asking if he needs any help. But she immediately collapsed into bed squealing about her encounter with the Klein Moretti to Susie, her dog.

Sure, Audrey didn’t want her idol to be harassed by fans or haters or the paparazzi, a guy needs his private life after all, but god damn it she really wants to tell this to someone!

There was only one person she could hold to, a fan even bigger than her; her online best friend, Gehrman Sparrow.

If there was any prize for being Klein Moretti’s biggest defender, it would be him. Coming to every single hate comment and kindly threatening them and sometimes even doxx them (now she doesn’t necessarily agree but—) along with running a huge stan account of him where she first met him.

Dare she say, the guy had even a bigger collection than her! Gehrman had somehow gotten his hands onto a signed album from when Klein first debuted! She wasn’t a fan at that time and now she can’t even find anyone willing to sell it!

Yeah, there was no way Gehrman would ever spill his location.

- OMGONGONG YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS

- What

- I JUST MET KLEIN MORETTI HES MY NEIGHBOUR AHHHHH

- Pics or it didn’t happen

Klein stiffed a laugh as he looked at his phone screen, remembering the young girl that came over and her look of shock.

If only she knew that her favourite idol was also her online best friend that’s she’s talking to this very second.

[welcome-to-the-neotheater]

I made one of those iceberg memes for AJR

It includes both songs and also just like fanbase stuff

Thanks to the website I made this on for putting their massive fucking watermark over the bottom

Full explanation:

Bang!: Bang! has been, in some ways the most popular AJR song. YouTube says WSV has more streams than Bang! does but I think that has more to do with the online popularity of it than anything else, as I've honestly heard more people say they've heard bang than WSV so I put it at the top.

WSV (World's Smallest Violin): WSV from Ok Orchestra has been one of songs I go to when I'm trying to see if maybe someone's heard an AJR song before and just hasn't realized it. It went pretty viral in 2022.

Weak: Weak was also a pretty massive song. It was released on the Click and according to YouTube Music has 238 million plays.

Burn The House Down: This song was released on the Deluxe version of The Click (it's not on the main one, which is surprising as it's the most popular song from the whole album). It's also one of AJR's biggest songs.

The Good Part: This was the first AJR song I'd ever heard! A lot of it's popularity was from TikTok trends that we're using the "can we skip to the good part" as a transition audio.

AJR is a band: I feel like this should go without saying and should be higher on the list, but the number of people I see referring to AJR collectively as "he" is infuriating. There are 3 of them holy shit dude look at any album cover of theirs and use some of those counting skills we should've learned in preschool. However, I do see people not involved in AJR stuff who understand how to count and say "their" when referring to them collectively so I put it above the water level on the iceberg.

Way Less Sad: This song also did pretty well. It was released on Ok Orchestra. However it's not one I think most non-AJR fans would've heard so I put it as the first "under water level" spot on the iceberg.

AJR stands for Adam Jack and Ryan: A lot of people don't know this but I think it's one of the first things you'd google if you were starting to join the fanbase. Adam Jack and Ryan are the first names of the bassist, lead singer, and keyboardist respectively.

Jack's Hat: Pretty much since I want to say 2015 (?) Jack has worn this hat during pretty much anything relating to the band.

It was his mother's hat and appears as early as Living Room overture

pssst Women's Ultrawarm Bomber Hat | Accessories at L.L.Bean (llbean.com)

They're brothers: Adam Jack and Ryan are brothers. Not much more to elaborate on here except that a lot of people didn't seem to know this.

Karma: One of the greatest songs ever made and definitely one any fan knows. It was on Neotheater

Overtures: For the albums the click, living room, and ok orchestra the album has started with a song called "Overture" (or "Ok Overture" in Ok Orchestra's case). These songs are just like a mash up of the other songs on the album.

Both Living Room and The Click's overtures display this definition at the beginning of the song as "Overture" isn't in most peoples vocabularies

I guess by Ok Overture we were expected to understand what was going on as there was no definition at the beginning of that one.

T__ M____ M__: So whether or not you know what this is will depend on how active you were in the community at the time TMM (what we now know is The Maybe Man) was being teased. Essentially we were told of the initials "TMM" and that the first word had 3 letters, the second 5, and the 3rd 3 and nothing else. There was someone selling shirts that said "AJRdle" at one point (I can't find them now), and that refers the wordle we were essentially playing with the album name.

Joe: This song was written about a guy who went to Ryan's high school that he looked up to. It's not a hugely popular song but it's one most fans would know. It appears on Ok Orchestra.

Adventure is Out There: Another less popular Ok Orchestra song. This one's great too.

I'm Ready: This song was their "first" (more on that later) song and was also their first hit. Sia shouted them out and that pretty much made the song a hit.

It was in the trailer for Trainwreck in 2015

Trainwreck (2015) - IMDb

Pitchfork Kids: Beloved by fans and considered by some as the best song on Living Room. It originally came out in the Infinity EP.

Normal: So a lot of people miss this song's existence as it was on the deluxe edition on the click but not the official one. It's kinda overlooked. Citation needed, but I believe it's the least popular song that's post living room.

Weak has an acoustic version: This title is pretty self-explanatory, but a lot of people missed the acoustic version of weak that came out in the "Weak Remixes" EP (I guess its an EP?)

City Savers: My beloved city savers. Sadly this and other AJR webisodes were taken down from the official page but there is a reupload.

AJR WEBISODE: CITY SAVERS (youtube.com)

Essentially it was just a skit they did. I'm not sure when it came out but if I had to guess it looks like it might've been around 2013.

A Day In The Life: City Savers' slightly overlooked twin. Another webisode from around this time.

Dear Winter 2.0: AJR released an alternate version of Dear Winter. All the lyrics are the same but the production is different. A lot of people don't seem to talk about this.

3 AM: Not to be confused with 3 O'clock things, 3 AM was released on the infinity EP in 2014. It's the least played AJR song that's still officially available.

AJR Covers Channel: There exists a second official AJR youtube channel thats @/AJRBrothers instead of just @/AJR

AJRBrothers - YouTube

They posted covers of songs. It hasn't been active for 11 years.

I also love how hilariously outdated their About section is.

6Foot1: This was just an alternate title for the I'm Ready EP.

Woody Allen, AfterHours, and Buy You A Rose still have their 6Foot1 versions up on AJR's youtube channel.

Jack was in The Pink Panther 2: Yeahhh

So when Jack was 11 he was in a movie called the Pink Panther 2. He played a character named Antoine. I watched the movie and he was only in like 5 minutes of it total. I wasn't paying a ton of attention to the movie but I think he was supposed to be the nephew of the main character.

If you've ever seen this:

Its from the promotion for this movie.

He was also in one called Billy Bates according to IMDB but I've never seen that one.

Anyways if for whatever reason you want to watch the Pink Panther 2 (it's terrible and absolutely earned its 12% rotten tomatoes rating) you can watch it here for free on Tubi:

Watch The Pink Panther 2 (2009) - Free Movies | Tubi (tubitv.com)

Married On A Hill: Mostly just mentioning this song cause I discovered it and became obsessed with it a couple of weeks ago but essentially it's a song of theirs from like 2014 or 2013 that was played live a couple of times and never officially released (but was released accidentally in 2020 Married On A Hill | AJR Wiki | Fandom) but there are still concert recordings of it on YouTube.

Here's one:

AJR - Married On A Hill 11/4/14 (youtube.com)

Born and Bred: Born and Bred was the first album they ever released, but it's been taken down. According to genius.com, it came out on March 8th 2010, but take this with a grain of salt because genius.com sucks balls. But, I digress.

It still exists on YouTube but I didn't tell you that.

Adam was in a The Onion video: This also has a pretty self explanatory title.

Adam appears in the Onion's "High School Tonys Nation's Drama Club Nerds" at 0:55

High School Tonys Honor Nation's Drama Club Nerds (youtube.com)

Go On Take A Chance: This was AJR's first song. It exists on YouTube and has a music video. It appears as the first track on Born and Bred and was released as a single according to genius.com on January 13th 2010. Again, take this with a grain of salt because genius.com sucks balls.

But I digress put your hands up cause I won't

Venture: Venture was the second album released by AJR and has also been taken down. There is a lot less of this album available online so it's lost media in a way. Genius.com says venture came out September 12th (yikes) 2010, but have I mentioned that I fucking hate genius.com. This album has 10 songs.

AJR - EP: And we reach the end. This EP was released after Venture and Born and Bred and had 4 songs, one of which was The World Is A Marble heart, which I'm pretty sure makes it the oldest still publicly available AJR song. I think it's the same on the AJR EP as it is on Living Room but I haven't heard the original version to confirm that. If genius.com is to be trusted (it generally is not) it came out July 17th 2012. I think most of the EP is available on YouTube.

I only put this one at the bottom because in my experience the community seems to talk about it less than Born and Bred and Venture.

[mini-jiminie]

Saw a few of ur posts and loved that there are ppl with diff perspectives as well.

I agree with anon who said that there seems to be an imbalance regarding emotional side as well as jungkook seems to be the guy who's mostly on the receiving end. i won't talk about his other rs but if we just consider About Jkk then that seems to be the case mostly. jkkrs always say that TK don't have that emotional depth which jkk has which i kinda agree but at the same time it's JM who makes that difference is what i belive and not jk. With jkk it's jm who gives that chance to ppl to be vulnerable with him while as Tae himself is kinda reversed and not much of talkative atleast on emotional side so maybe with TK they don't talk much about those emotional things(not saying they don't have emotional bond they do but not as deep as jkk maybe) while as jm offers that space to every single person he's friends with because he's got high EQ.

Another thing is the efforts doesn't seem 50/50 to me at all. jm has been consistent with his efforts when it comes to jk while as jk is like I'll do it if you come to me idm but i won't come to u myself is what happened in chapt2 (not saying that's always the case). jk saying "if not for the show we wouldn't even meet", "When i was free i didn't look for you, when u were free u didn't look for me" is definitely not a good luck then jm going "That's not true i called you/looked for you" like this makes U wonder that if jm didn't come up with AYS we wouldn't see anything jkk related the whole 2 yrs at all. Jm flew for jk 2 times did jk do smth like that? we always talk about Jm going to jk for his b'day but what about jk? did he go to jm specifically for jm's b'day? i don't remember them ever saying that.

JM was more busy than jk cause obviously he was making 2 albums and he's participated in more things than just sing nd dance so he's been busy since they were on tour. what jk can do is reach out to jm, if he don't want to take jm's time out of his work he can simply visit jm on MV set, or go to his music shows but nothing like that happened. i saw jm saying sorry to jk because he couldn't make it to jk's mini concert while i don't remember jk ever saying sorry to jm even tho jk was on break for months during jm's album preparation/release/promotions. makes you wonder where's the mutuality. what's disappointing is jm specifically asking jk to come more often to support him but jk didn't go even tho he was free lol.

U said jk wouldn't know jm's schedule because he wouldn't check the grp updates because he was on break which yes true BUT if you're my bestie nd i wanted to support U for ur debut album what I'd do is either ask you myself what's ur Schedule or check the gc myself and see when I can give you that surprise visit at ur work place. I'm just talking in the sense of besties not even couple because if we start talking considering they're couple then this literally proves they're not at all couple/were not dating e/o. A frnd who called to wish u b'day VS a frnd who went to ur home to give those wishes in person definitely makes difference. it's about putting efforts and i see those constantly from jm's side not jk. watching things online like u always do can't be compared to what yg and hobi did for jm in those times.

Another thing i don't believe is that jm was too busy to meet Tae and jk. there's no way you're going to tell me park jimin couldn't make time for jk for months. i personally think that was deliberate on jm's side not meeting the two. maybe because as you said he was in different mindset. the mindset he needed for his album Or he simply didn't want to meet them at that time of period. i refuse to belive jimin couldn't make time for jk for MONTHS.

jimin has been a big supporter to jk when it comes to emotional things i wondered has jk done the same for jm? the only times i remember jm saying is "When I'm down jk would come and do silly things to make me happy" what I'm asking is how jm went after jk when jk was alone drinking at that club and jm went after him to comfort him, how when that whole mijoo thing happened jkk had that live they did and jk said he was grateful ig that was jk's first online appearance after the whole thing and jm was there to be that person for him. we know jm has always been first to wipe off jk's tears on stage. But there's many times jm talked about feeling lonely, alone and jk's part is nowhere where they ever mentioned that jk came to Console him or anything. That time when they were eating together jm said that he felt alone n cried or smtg while jk talked about sleeping without a care in the world. in Their doc jm said he went through a depressive phase and his other friend made him realise that. So again i wonder if jk plays the same role for jm or not. Jk saying "IF we're born on same yr we would be copies of e/o" makes me wonder why they can't say that NOW when they just has 2 yrs difference. or the sentence could mean nothing at all like I'm thinking lol. I wonder if jm sees jk as equal in when it comes to mental capacity or not. He seems to be talking about those things more to hl than he does with Maknaes.

I know a rs can't be always 50/50 but with jkk it constantly LOOKS like 80/20 and that 80-90 being jm Most of the times. ppl say jk is more of a action guy than while jm expresses through words but it's quite literally jimin being louder through words as well as actions for his love/support/care for jk. alot would say that "why would jm constantly do smtg for jk when U think jk doesn't do it in return" so my answer is "Idt jk doens't do anything at all he does but on rare occasions, jk is jm's maknes he has more soft side to ppl younger than him than others, JM by Nature is a giving person even TH said he feels like he's constantly at jm's receiving end. Jm definitely ain't a damsel in distrees but giving w/o expecting things from others is his nature, his astrology says so too so he can't quite help it. He went to tae's music show when no one else went and even tho Tae didn't come to any of his MV set or music show jm didn't hold it against him, he knows how to be better and he went to do his part as a frnd".

I personally believe jimin deserves s/o who would be willing to put those efforts for him and it's not just him constable doing the most. he deserves s/o who's pretty equal to him mentally. yrs of me being here i never personally thought they were dating or smtg so it's not even about that for me but the not so mutual efforts is what was bugging me. it kinda felt like if jm doesn't do it we wouldn't get it. obviously i believe they're still very good friends.

Hm, I can see why you might think that. I think looking at the boys at a surface level during chapter 2, it might seem that way. However, we're only privy to a small percentage of their lives. What they share on social media is only what they've allowed us to see. It's not a complete representation of them or their personal lives as a whole.

I think we also have to remember that just cause jm expresses his affections a certain type of way, doesn't mean jk will act the same. Jm is an extrovert and jk is, famously, not. Speaking to that, I think jk is a lot more reserved and quiet when it comes to expressing his affection. Ofc flying to different countries to be with jk is an extremely grand gesture and, don't we all wish to have a jm in our lives? But, I also believe that organising a trip to Tokyo and recording the most beautifully edited video featuring jm also speaks equal volumes. There's also this comment that many people have made over the years where they ask jk why he's always recording jm or why jm seems like the main model of gcf (to which he gave the most lousy answer lol).

Yes, you could argue, 'well why didn't he physically go and support him?' and tbh I don't know anon. But, I don't recall jk going to physically support any of his hyungs during their solo promotions in chapter 2 (please correct me if I'm wrong). He was however, actively mentioning them, making congratulatory posts on weverse and binging their content on his lives. I don't think there's a textbook 'right' way to show support. To your point on Hobi and yg going to support jm during his face promotions, I think that's wonderful but, yg released d-day right after face and they even promoted together for a while. I think due to the timeline of their schedules, it made sense why yg would come visit jm. Hobi was also technically finished with his promotions and about to enlist. Again, I'm not saying hobi and yg were doing it out of convenience but, I think scheduling played a part e.g. Tae and jk's promotions were very close together and Tae was the one to visit jk at music shows.

I also think, when we go down the route of 'it's one-sided' or 'jm deserves better', it tends to be that jm ends up getting pushed into the 'helpless damsel' archetype. Jm is incredibly intelligent and as you mentioned, has an extremely high EQ. Those aren't just empty words to throw around. If he felt that his relationship with jk was supposedly one-sided or that he wasn't feeling appreciated, I'm sure he's more than comfortable with voicing that out. In their more than decade-long friendship, I would think they would be comfortable communicating with one another. I think an example of this would be the shifts in their dynamic from NY to Sapparo in AYS. The fact that they talked about and voiced their frustrations over not having met up in a while in front of the camera proves that they have the type of relationship where they have healthy communication. I'm sure a lot more talking happened off-camera too.

To your point on jk's EQ, I would have to disagree. I think jk, out of all his hyungs, is especially attuned to jm's emotions and moods. I feel like this isn't discussed enough but, one of my favourite instances that really proves jk's emotional intelligence is the boys' 2021 speech at the UN. As soon as jm begins his part, jk physically angles his body towards him (surprise surprise), and nods the whole time jm is talking. There are also moments where you see them make eye contact and jk nods assuringly.

(I've linked their speech below)

Timestamp: 2:22-2:48 & 4:38-5:08

Later on, when the boys go live, they tease jm about his little fumble and try to make the situation lighthearted (they also go on to reassure him later on). Jk was also teasing him initially but, seeing how jm still seemed a bit bummed, he immediately stops and says "you guys should comfort him."

Looking at a more recent example, there was jk's '#jm fanclub president' live. My man spent more than an hour watching jm's music videos, his interviews and a whole bts teasing jm compilation.

There's this goofy ass bit where he fixates on jm struggling cause his food was too hot and burning his mouth. He also smiles whenever jm smiles. Little things like that show how attentive he is towards him to the point where he can pick up on tiny jimin-isms, even through video.

One last thing I wanna touch on is the back and neck rubbing. The way the massaging has ramped up in the past couple of years....

Jk is constantly massaging and rubbing jm's back and neck (because jm is known to have chronic neck pain). Even in the last ot4 live, his hand was glued to his back, especially when the topic of jm shaving his hair was brought up. He understood jm wasn't comfortable with the idea and was so damn sweet towards him the whole time that conversation was happening. Therefore, I would argue that Jk has a very high EQ.

In Jeju, Jm says that he doesn't have any concerns over fighting during their enlistment. Jk echoes the sentiment and is very quick to agree. In Sapparo, they agree that were they the same age, they would be 'the same person'.

And quicky, to your point on their 2 year age difference not being that significant, we do have to remember the culture they've been brought up in. Korea is a country that has very strict social hierarchies, especially when it comes to seniority. Even Yoongi and Seokjin are only a meagre 4 months apart but, it doesn't come off that way does it? It does make more sense, culturally, for jm to dote on jk and jk, as the younger, to be the receptive one.

Finally, I think we also have to remember the one thing that I personally believe to be one of the biggest acts of affection (and devotion) : their joint enlistment. Again, these boys have been together for more than a decade. Ofc they're contacting one another and hanging out beyond what they allow us to see on camera. Not making a birthday post or not visiting jm at music bank doesn't override something like a joint military enlistment.

Thank you for the ask :)

[watchmegetobsessed]

JUST HOW FAST THE NIGHT CHANGES (part 2)

A/N: okay okay part 2! here we are!! my progress about the story is not as fast as i would like it but im trying my best!! feedback is always appreciated!

PAIRING: Harry x High-School-Best-Friend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry has thought of seeing you again so many times in the past months, he imagined this moment when he lied in bed, counting the days until he meets you again after all this time, but seeing you in real life is nothing like his daydreams. 

You’ve changed so much, yet he can see the version of you he last saw clearly too. Your facial features have matured, your hair is longer than he was expecting, though he only saw pictures of you from the past years. You have a black wrap-around dress on that’s hugging your curves that look absolutely delicious. 

It’s pretty obvious you’ve put on some weight and judging from the way you nervously keep fixing your dress every other second, it’s something you feel insecure about, but Harry cannot take his eyes off you and he forces himself to tame his already wandering thoughts. 

“Dude, close your mouth!” Beckham walks up to Harry, patting his shoulder to snap him out of his trance. 

“Shut up,” he mumbles under his breath, averting his eyes from you, but it only takes a few seconds before his gaze returns.

“Go say hi,” Beckham encourages him, but he shakes his head no.

“Later. I don’t… I don’t think I’m the person she wants to see the most.”

Beckham laughs as he walks away with his beer while Harry returns to his seat that’s not as close to yours as he would want it to be, but at least you’re on opposite sides, so he can keep an eye on you as the dinner finally starts. He can faintly hear your voice over the chatter every time you speak up or laugh at something and he wishes he was part of the conversation as well, sitting next to you instead of sneakily stealing glances.

Sometime after the main course and before the dessert it’s suggested that everyone say a short little summary of what happened to them in the past decade, and the round starts, everyone curiously listening to what their old pals are saying. 

“Um, hi,” Harry chuckles awkwardly when it’s his turn. “Well, I’ve had a pretty busy couple of years,” he grins, making everyone laugh. “I don’t know what I can say that you can’t read online, but let’s pretend you know nothing. So I just published my third solo album not long ago, I’ve been really enjoying experimenting with music on my own, though I loved my time in the band as well. I’m working on new stuff lately and I still have part of the tour coming up. I’m doing good, it’s all good,” he nods to himself before smiling around and giving the word to the next person. 

While he is interested in what everyone has to say, he is mostly looking forward to your turn finally so he can shamelessly stare at you while you talk.

“Hi everyone,” you smile nervously around, squaring your shoulders as attention turns to you. “Um, I don’t really know where to start. I started marketing at college, but I didn’t really like it and I was learning coding at the time so I thought I would start a career in that field. I went to an intense training so now I mostly make websites, but I do other stuff too. Um… I live here in London as most of us do now,” she chuckles, the class sharing her smile. “Nothing… Nothing else to share, really,” she adds in a mumble and looks to her right, signaling that she is done talking, it’s time for the next person.

It wasn’t enough. Harry wants to know more, everything if that’s possible and if it wasn’t for all the people around him, he would stand up and just sit beside you, asking you dozens of questions.

But he has to sit and wait patiently, pretend like you’re not the only one he is interested in the bunch. 

An entire hour passes by before he sees you slip away from the table and out to the back patio. Part of him tells him he shouldn’t follow you, but he just can’t stop himself. He excuses himself from the conversation and heads after you, hoping no one will notice him missing inside.

In the summer time there are tables outside as well with fairy lights creating a cozy mood, but it’s too cold right now to sit outside, so it’s only used by smokers occasionally. When Harry steps out as he slips into his coat he spots you right away in the corner, scrolling on your phone as you’re probably having a break. Even when you were younger, you often told him your social batteries easily run out and those were the times Harry gladly sat outside with you until you felt comfortable enough to go back inside. Seems like not much has changed. 

“Hey,” he breathes out and watches your eyes widen when you realize he came after you.

“H-Hi!” you clear your throat, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

“Having a social break?” he smiles warmly, standing only a few feet away from you.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

There’s a bit of a pause where you’re not too sure how to act with Harry right next to you and he is stunned as well. There’s so much he wants to say and do, but he doesn’t know how you’d react. He doesn’t know about a lot of things when it comes to you but he is determined to change that. 

“So… how have you been?” he asks at last, the ure to speak up taking over the silence.

“Um, I’m fine. Fine, yeah,” you nod. 

“Do you still work at that civil organization, or…?”

“You know I worked there?” you ask, the surprise is pretty apparent on your face. 

“Of course,” he smiles softly, a blush tinting his cheeks. 

“Uh, I’m not there anymore. I work for a bigger company.”

“But still in marketing?”

“Yes,” you nod. “I can do more designing here on the side, that’s why I switched.”

“You like it?”

“It’s good. But work is work, you know, I was never the kind to be obsessed with my job.”

As you say that you realize he can’t know that, because you weren’t talking by the time you started working. It brings the awkwardness right back and he knows he needs to address some things before moving on.

“Y/N, I hope you know I didn’t… I didn’t want us to eventually stop talking. It’s just that so much happened, all at once and I didn’t take all of it the best way either. I should have focused more on my oldest friendships. I’m sorry, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

“It’s fine,” you shake your head with a weak smile. “People have fallouts all the time, it’s natural.”

But it wasn’t supposed to happen to us, Harry wants to say, but he bites his tongue. He shouldn’t bring everything up the first time you see each other.

“But we could start again,” he suggests, holding his breath as he watches your reaction to his words.

“Start again?”

“Yeah. I would… love to catch up with you, hear about everything I missed. Only if you want to tell me about it, of course.”

You stare back at him for way longer than he would have loved it and it convinces him it’s the part where you tell him to fuck off. He wouldn’t be surprised, you haven’t talked in ages and now he is so desperate to reconnect. You have every right not to want him back in your life even if you never had a fight that resulted in the fallout.

He is about to take back what he said, but you finally speak up.

“Okay,” is all you say with a tiny nod. 

He’s shocked, to say the least, even though he was hoping you’d say that. But seeing that small smile on your face is all he needs right now.

“Cool,” he breathes out. The door behind him opens and another guest walks out to have a smoke, making them realize they should probably return to the table. “Look, if you’re free sometime soon, I’m staying until the end of the month. We could have lunch, dinner or even breakfast,” he chuckles. “I would love to see you again and talk. Just the two of us.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

“Cool! Great!” he enthuses, probably more excited than he should be, but it doesn’t matter.

The two of you return to the table soon, no one really noticed that you slipped away, but it leaves Harry with a silly smile on his face that widens every time he looks at you again. Suddenly, he feels like a teenager all over again, he is in that basement with his best mates, just having fun, looking forward to spending some time alone with you.

Your bike rides home together were always his favorites, even the ones when you didn’t exchange a single word. He just loved seeing you by his side, the way you always squinted your eyes when the wind blew harder than usual, how you always checked back at him if he was behind you whenever you were about to cross a road. These are all tiny things that are etched into his memories probably forever.

Sometime towards the end of the evening Bee gathers your little group and asks to talk to you outside. You stand in a circle, everyone eyeing her suspiciously as she tries to hold her smile back, Lucas standing right behind her.

“So, there is something that we would like to share with you guys,” Bee starts and without any time to waste, she pulls out a ring from her pocket and slips it on her finger, holding it up, her grins stretching from ear to ear.

“Oh my God!” Chloe gasps as she realizes what it means. “Congratulations!”

It’s a shock, but not really. Bee and Lucas became an official item sometime before graduation, had a short break during college since Lucas studied abroad and long distance took a toll on them, but they found their way back not long after. Engagement was definitely the next step after they moved together three years ago and adopted a dog just last year.

But still, it’s shocking for Harry to see his old pals move on in life together. There’s a pang of jealousy in him too, but it’s overruled by the happiness.

There’s a round of hugs and congratulations before Bee reaches for her purse and pulls out a stack of envelopes.

“We want to invite you all to the wedding that’s gonna be held in June. You guys have been here from the start and it only feels right if you’re there with us on our big day.”

“Man, I might even start crying!” Joshua jokes, but Harry can see the shimmer in his eyes as he takes his invitation.

“Don’t get too mushy,” Lucas chuckles, patting his shoulder. 

Chloe is already talking Bee’s ears off about the wedding and offers to help with basically anything, while you’re examining the invitation card with a soft smile on your lips.

Harry’s excitement runs even higher when he realizes it’s gonna be another occasion where he’ll see you, though he plans to meet a few more times until June.

The night stretches long, it’s way past midnight when the last guests get ready to leave. Harry has been keeping an eye on you all evening in case you wanted to slip out, but you stayed until the end and he doesn’t hesitate to take this opportunity.

“Do you have a ride home?” he asks, when you’re putting your coat on.

“Um, I’ll just call an Uber or something.”

“We can share, I already called one.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

In front of the building everyone says their goodbye, heading their own way and you are left alone with Harry on the curb as the car pulls up.

“So when will you be free for that breakfast slash lunch slash dinner?” he asks, not wanting to miss the chance to see you again.

“I have to check my work schedule, but… I’ll text you, okay?” “Promise?” he arches his eyebrows.

“I promise.”

“Okay. Just so you know, if you ghost me I will come for you.”

“So you’re that desperate?” you chuckle and he just shrugs with a smirk.

“I’m just eager to start over and reconnect with you.”

“I’ll text you, don’t worry. My days are just… a bit hectic lately.”

He wants to ask you about it, would be even better if you just opened up about whatever it is that’s happening in your life, but he’s fine with what he got as well. He doesn’t want to be greedy. 

You make some small talk on the way to your place and when the car comes to a stop Harry is already looking forward to seeing you again. 

“Don’t forget about texting me!” he reminds you again, to which you exhale sharply.

“I actually keep my promises, Harry. Goodnight,” you say before hopping out of the car, leaving him too stunned to speak and the car drives away before he could even react. 

It was like a stab in his chest, your words ring in his head all the way until he arrives home and even after that. 

He pushed too hard. He wanted too much. His nagging was supposed to be just a joke, but apparently, he should have been more careful, because your reaction was sharp and painful. But he deserved it, he knows, because what you said… that was a reminder that he fucked up and he can’t just start all over again so quick and easily.

He wants to go back in time and take the words back, everything was going so well up until that point and now it feels like a setback. While in the shower he is composing a text to apologize for overstepping your boundaries and he is just about to type it out when his phone rings, your name on display. 

“Hi!” he answers, shocked to receive a call from you but also thankful that he can apologize.

“Hey.” Your voice is weak, but a lot lighter than it was in the car when you parted ways. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he shakes his head, sitting on the edge of the bed and he wishes he could talk to you in person, see your face.

“It was rude. You’ve been so nice all evening, even asking to reconnect and I was… I was an asshole,” you sigh and he can imagine you closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I kinda deserved it. It’s been long, Y/N, I shouldn’t have expected to just go back to being best friends. I pushed too hard, so if anyone has to be sorry, it should be me.”

There’s a long pause at your end of the call, Harry is dreading to hear your voice and make sure he didn’t fucked up royally.

“I’ve been kind of… moody lately. I should think about my words before talking.”

“Do you… want to talk about it?” he asks, but then realizes that it might be over the line too. “Only if you want to, you don’t have to share anything with me, I totally understand it.”

“Maybe some other time,” you quietly answer and Harry swallows down his greed to know more. “But… I’m free on Friday,” you add and his heart skips a beat.

“Friday is awesome!” he answers without even thinking through his schedule. If he has anything that day, he’ll surely cancel, nothing can be more important than meeting you again. “We could go out for dinner?”

“Can we… Is it possible not to go out?”

“Yeah,” he nods, though his chest tightens. Does this mean you don’t want to be seen out with him? He wouldn’t blame you, it would put you in the spotlight instantly. “Want to come over? I could cook something.”

“That sounds good. See you on Friday, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he manages to say before the call ends.

A week has never felt longer. Every waking moment was spent by counting the days until Harry could finally see you again. He planned out the whole evening the day after the reunion, from the meal to the outfit he would wear, he knew it all by Monday rolled around so he had to spend five days anxiously waiting for Friday. 

On Wednesday he has a few drinks with just the boys, Joshua, Beckham and Lucas, cheering on Lucas’ engagement and having some boytalk. Even though they kept in touch throughout the years, there’s still a lot to share. They are having a great time, lots of laughs and jokes are shared over their beer.

“Alright, I want to talk about something major,” Joshua smirks over his pint, his eyes finding Harry and he already knows it’s gonna be about you.

“Just ask it,” Harry chuckles.

“Can we talk about how you had the heart eyes for Y/N all evening at the reunion?”

“Like a lovesick puppy!” Beckham laughs, patting Harry on the back as he puts up with the teasing.

“It was nice seeing her again, what can I say?” Harry shrugs, but he can’t hold his smirk up, which earns another round of laughter from his friends.

“Oh, it was more than just nice, right?” Lucas grins with a knowing smirk.

“We shouldn’t be surprised though, you were so in love with her back then,” Beck scoffs as he leans back in his seat, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not in love, I was just…” Harry tries to explain himself, but fails.

“Just in love,” Lucas teases him.

“I might have had a crush on her, I admit. But it’s been a long time, we obviously changed a lot. It was great to reunite with her.”

“And you plan to reunite some more with her soon?” Joshua wiggles his eyebrows. 

“We’re actually meeting on Friday.”

“You little minx!” Beckham laughs. “Will you shoot your shot?”

“We literally just met again after almost a decade. There’s no shot to shoot.”

“Yeah, and maybe it’s better if you’re careful,” Lucas nods, but Harry doesn’t really understand what he meant by that.

“Careful?”

“Yeah, I mean, after what she went through…”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Joshua asks, his gaze flickering between Harry and Lucas.

“What? Tell me what it is!”

“She got a divorce not long ago. Like, about a year ago,” Lucas says, keeping his voice down. 

“Huh? I didn’t even know she was married!”

It feels like a punch in the stomach, how he missed such a major event in your life. Not getting an invitation is one thing, but how did you manage to keep it so secret that he didn’t even know you were engaged?

“She kept it pretty low,” Beckham says. “I mean, the divorce and also the whole relationship.”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know about them until she was engaged,” Joshua shakes his head. 

“And what happened? Why did it end?”

Beckham and Joshua shrug their shoulders, but Lucas seems like he knows something. 

“Lucas? If Bee told you something…”

“I don’t know the whole story, okay? But as far as I know… he cheated on her.”

“Oh fuck,” Harry breathes out, his heart sinking instantly. 

“Pretty rough, yeah. But maybe don’t bring it up until she is ready to share it with you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he nods. 

The night carries on and they talk about anything and everything, but Harry’s mind stays stuck on you. To be more precise, your divorce he knew nothing about. It’s no surprise you are so reserved and moody, it must have been hard for you to go through it. He can only hope you had friends to rely on, Chloe or Bee at last if he wasn’t there for you.

Another thing to add to the list of things he should feel horrible about when it comes to you. 

At the end of the night he offers to share a ride with any of the boys and Beckham accepts, so they leave together. 

“I know it’s eating you away,” Beckham speaks up in the car. 

“Huh?”

“That you didn’t know about her divorce.”

“I wasn’t there for her, Beck. I should have been, but I didn’t even know she was engaged!”

“You weren’t talking, you couldn’t have known.”

“Yeah, but it was my fault we weren’t talking. I should have tried harder and… I should have kept my promise I made to her.”

Silence falls over the car as the passing lights illuminate their faces. Beckham is looking at Harry while Harry is staring straight ahead, his jaw jumping. 

“Look, you’ve made mistakes, it’s fine, totally human. If she is willing to meet you again, I’m sure she is not that mad at you, so it’s a good sign. You… Do you… want to, like… date her?”

Harry presses his lips together, thinking of his answer.

“It’s complicated, but… I think I still have feelings for her,” he admits, finally peeking at his friend. “Is that crazy? I mean, we were kids, can I actually still have… feelings for her?”

“Don’t underestimate your younger self. Look at Lucas. He’s been in love with Bee since forever and now they are getting married.”

Harr hums and nods in agreement, but there’s still a lot he needs to get clear in his head. Whatever it is that he feels for you, he wants to explore it but he also needs to be extremely careful now that he knows what you went through. And what if there’s more to it than the cheating? What if the guy did something else too that left you even more scarred? 

He wants answers, but he needs to be patient and give you time. 

Time, he couldn’t give you before.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[writingsfromhome]

School Photos

A/N: just a quick fluff one-shot to get me back online. happy August and fellow Leo season.

————————————————

“Please!” He begs for the umpteenth time. “Just one picture! I just wanna see one!”

“No! Mum look at me, all albums will be burned if you show anything.”

My family chuckles at my persistence but I was serious. Bringing home my uni boyfriend was going good so far. The only thing I had to avoid was him seeing pictures of me as a child.

“She had braces, even had to wear the headgear sometimes.” My brother teases.

“Shut up!” I glare.

“Yeah and she was obsessed with dolphins so anything she wore had them. And if they didn’t—mom didn’t she have these pictures you ironed on for her.”

“Oh!” Mom gasps. “I remember! The patches, the dolphin patches she bought from that one store um-“

“Remember when she wanted a mole so bad like Aunt Jess that she drew one on.”

“No way, I need to see the proof.” Harry grins, taking in my humiliation like a chilled glass of wine.

“She did it the whole summer until I told her it looked like shit on her face.” My brother says. “It was a kindness now that she looks back right yn?”

“Oh aren’t you Mother Teressa.” I mock. I didn’t want Harry to see me like this either—bothered and acting childish with my brothers but I had to pick and choose my battles here.

“Ok lay off her now boys, let us enjoy the pie your mum made.” My dad swoops to my rescue and I give him an appreciative smile.

“Daddy’s girl.” My brother mutters. Mom scolds him but she’s biting back a laugh. Ugh my family was infuriating.

Since we’d arrived late, right before dinner, Harry hadn’t seen my childhood bedroom so once we’re done around the table we head upstairs.

In between dinner and dessert I’d rushed up with an excuse for the loo and made sure to hide any evidence of my face between the ages of 5-16 in my room.

Now, I give Harry a tour of my childhood bedroom.

“I can imagine you sitting here sketching,” Harry brushes his hand along the oak desk dad had built for me in year 4 and has sat against the window since.

So much of my history lived in all these objects. I was happy that Harry could see it all laid out here, know the past parts of me he couldn’t exactly meet.

Not that he needed to see physical copies of all my past parts.

“And this is my shrine to Jesse McCartney.” I open the top drawer meant for pencils and small items but instead a poster of his face was glued down and tiny trinkets laid around including the ticket from the I went to one of his performances.

“So this is your man on the side. Keeping him tucked away at home hm?” Harry tugs the drawer more to reveal all of my teenage crazy.

“I was obsessed. He’s still a very attractive man.”

“That’s weird.”

“What? That he’s attractive?”

“No, he looks nothing like me.”

“Why would he-“ I roll my eyes when I realize what he’s getting at. “Well you should be flattered you don’t look like my childhood celeb crush. That’d be creepy.”

“I think this is a little creepy.” Harry crosses his arms and leans against the table. I take him in where he stands; he felt so much bigger than my childhood bedroom.

“It’s what teenage girls do. Ask your sister I’m sure she had one of these too.”

“So you’re okay showing me this,” Harry tugs my hand. “But not any pictures of you-“

“No. That’s not happening.”

“I promise I’ll still love you.”

“They’re just embarrassing!” I whine. “I always had a phase I was going through. I don’t want you to see any of them.”

“Why?” He cups my face. “It makes you interesting! I showed you the phase where I spiked my hair every day and thought I was in a boy band.”

“Your hair didn’t even spike,” I laugh into his chest, remembering the photo I had taken a copy of with my phone. His hair had looked like he woken up and taken a chainsaw to it.

“See you’re allowed to laugh at me!”

“Nooo,” I wrap my arms around his waist. “No photos. Now subject change: we’re meeting all my friends tomorrow so what do you want to do today?”

“I can crash.” Harry says. He brushes my hair back and gives my head a kiss. “Driving for 4 hours was more tiring than I thought.”

“Okay,” I was fine with cuddling and going to bed even though it was only 9. As long as I was with Harry, everything felt fun. We’d been dating for over a year now and I loved him in a way I never loved boyfriends from the past. I think he was the real deal.

We lie on my small bed and talk until we doze off. The next morning we wake to the smell of breakfast and my parents spoil us with food and laughter.

I give Harry a tour of my hometown before we meet with my friends from school. Everyone and their partners love Harry and I can’t help but beam as he fits seamlessly into the other half of my life.

He catches my eye every now and then and the smile he gives me makes me fall in love with him all over again.

After an evening spent with family at home and another early night, Harry and I head out to go back to uni the following morning.

Goodbyes are long and multiple hugs are involved all around.

As we settle in and head back onto the motorway, Harry points to the sun visor.

“Sun in your eye?”

“No?”

“Why don’t you flip it down?”

“It’s not?” I look him over. Was he okay?

“Just flip it down yeah? In case.”

“Okay?” I slowly flip the visor down and I gasp. “How could you?”

His laughter fills the car as I stare in horror. Tucked into the mirror is a school picture of me, probably Year 6. My braces are full on while I grimace-not even smile-into the camera. I’m wearing a tie-dye dolphin shirt with dolphin clips in my hair. My hair is in plaits except one of them is already fallen out; I’d probably been rough on the playground. It’s all topped off by a silver chunky chain I’d stolen from my brother—thinking it was real silver and would make me look cool.

“It’s my favourite picture of you,” Harry plucks it off and I realize I should have nabbed it while he was laughing. “I don’t think anything can top it really.”

“Harry I beg you to give that back.”

“Nope.” Harry pops the p with joy. He tucks it into his shirt pocket.

“Harry!”

“I love you. Looking at the picture just makes me love you more.” He glances over at me and pats my thigh. “Can you smile like that for me?”

“This is so unfair!” I cross my arms and face the front. “Who betrayed me?!”

“My lips are sealed.” He was having too much fun. I would get my family to crack—dad would probably tell me. Unless it was him.

“I’m gonna go for her for Halloween.” Harry says, trying to get through my wall of silence.

“Fine.” I sit up with an idea and flick through my phone for the picture I’d been keeping. “I’ll go as him.”

I wait for Harry to look over at me and gloat when his face falls.

“You’re not supposed to have a copy of that!”

“Well. We’re even now.”

I plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, feeling better already.

“You’re so lucky I’m driving.”

“You’re lucky or I would have wrestled that photo away from you ages ago.” I say and Harry looks at me skeptically. “I grew up with brothers don’t underestimate me.”

“Fine. Fine. We’re even.” Harry agrees. “And for the record. I love you. And I love her too.”

It’s true that what he says thaws me a little, the little girl in me, but I don’t let it show right now. I just look out the window and mumble a love you too. His hand comes down on my thigh and, still looking out the window, I intertwine our fingers. He could drive me crazy but it was true for me too. As much as I laughed at his photo, I loved him and that little boy too.

“You’re never visiting my parents ever again.” I tell him.

His only response is bringing our hands to his mouth.

I melt in my seat a little.

Whatever.

[intotherumiverse]

Heya! If it's not a bother, could you write the Blue Lock Boys with a extremely pretty/beautiful/handsome s/o?

★ ૮₍ ≧ . ≦ ₎ა 𝗦𝗢 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗬 !!

ღ. synopsis ; you’re too pretty for your good. ღ. featuring ; nagi , chigiri , barou , shidou , reo ღ. cw ; slight angst in reo’s part, overall fluff. ღ. notes ; my new formatting >>> also this is the first post of the 2023 mannn ღ. reader ; gender nuetral

nagi

he can’t understand why you’re so pretty 

he loved staring at you 

everything you do is just so breathtaking to him he doesn’t understand how he got so lucky. 

 he has a whole album dedicated to you (it’s private and hidden)

he usually so chill and nonchalant about everything but when it comes to you it’s like he’s losing his mind. 

when he has trouble sleeping at night he’ll watch you sleep, thinking to himself “how the fuck did I get so lucky”

his favorite nickname for you is my pretty. 

he just loves teeling you how good you look at all times of the day

“you know you’re like really pretty right?” nagi’s soft voice permeates through the room. it was one of those late nights, when neither of you could sleep so you were just talking to each other about anything and everything. there was a small lull in the conversation so nagi chose that moment to speak. 

“I don’t understand it. even doing the smallest things makes you so... so fuckin’ pretty. how do you do that?” 

“ ‘m just myself sei, nothing more.”

with that nagi wraps his long body around yours, curling into you. kissing the top of your head he whispers,

“never change that.”

shidou

he’s so upfront with it, it’s insane 

everywhere the two of you go he’s taking 5 million photos to show off to every social media platform he has. 

if you scroll through his instagram it’s just thousand of photos of his pretty partner. 

he’ll announce himself as (y/n)’s boyfriend

he loves knowing that you’re his. his chest will puff out a bit when he hears you talking about him. 

he’s like “yeah that’s me” 

gets extremely jealous whenever he sees someone eyeing you for a bit too long for his liking.

he’s like a feral cat, over protective of what’s his. 

“back the fuck off my partner.” 

“ryu he’s giving me my drink.” 

"oh”

it was like this every time you went out.

barou

stotic king.

he don’t know what to do in the face of your beauty. 

you can always catch him staring at you, just in awe

the first time he asked you out, his eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw you 

you’re just so???? fucking pretty??? 

he doesn’t understand how he could be with someone that looks like you for real

his ego grows 100x bigger because out of all the people in the world, you chose him

wants the best for you. always 

he’s always at the store looking for stuff to help you 

he always facetimes you though because he get confused at all the products and need your help 

“is this the cleansing mask?” 

“no love that’s the pore shrinking mask. why don’t you ask a employee to help you?” 

“no. those dickheads won’t be able to help me. plus you got the best boyfriend in the world, why would you need anyone else to help you?” 

you knew there was no reasoning with your boyfriend when he got like this, so you got settled in for spending the next couple of hours explaining to your boyfriend what the difference between all these products was.

chigiri

also in awe of your beauty 

you always call him pretty boy  but he feels like he should be the one calling you pretty

always helps you with whatever you want to do with your hair

hair is the only thing he knows  

always looking for new inspiration for you

he’ll spend hours helping you choose a look 

and he takes that job very seriously 

“bae i found this new hairstyle but i don’t know if it’ll fit you” chigiri says walking up to where you sat on the couch. every couple of days, he’d come in all excited to tell you about a new hairstyle he saw online. he was so dedicated to helping you feel pretty it was insane.

“let’s see pretty boy.” 

“I should be calling you pretty. just look at you” 

chigiri places a kiss on your lips. you were just like a deity, he loves you so much

reo

he’s spending the money.

to keep up your appearances he’d do anything for you

he’s like a small puppy, always wanting to know what you do during the day 

he’s buying you whatever you need. 

if your favorite shampoo is finished there’s five more before you even realize it. 

he going to hair appointments with you.

he hates that other people perceive your beauty as much as he does. 

but you reassuring him that you’re not going anywhere.

poor baby 

“baby you can’t keep sulking like you are.” 

“but he called you pretty. I’m the only one that can do that.” reo pouts curling into himself. he never expected to have these feelings when he got into a relationship with you, but now it seems like everything is trying to take you away from him. 

“baby don’t be like that. I’m with you, and only you. you’re the one i’m dating and no one else. okay?”

“promise?”

“promise.”

— tagging : @megurulvr ; @sscarchiyo ; @christiansdior ;

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