#i literally took c++ classes for like two years and i just cant remember anything fucking at all

[parapsychoiogy]

i love having a good and normal memory (having to reteach myself python from the beginning every single time i want to update my bots)

[hollyhomburg]

BTS on Their Honeymoon

A/n: The honeymoon is where the sex happens right? 

W/C: 3.1k 

Tags: Pregnancy kink, non-explicit sex, smut, mentions of unplanned pregnancy

Seokjin 

Takes you to a private island for your honeymoon.

Imagine Seokjin in a rolled up button down shirt with the first few buttons popped and a pair of sunglasses. 

Seokjin spares no expense - renting out this upscale bungalow, a fully stocked fridge with booze, that has it’s own boat in case you want to go back into town. 

You walk into a bed covered with rose petals and a bottle of champagne waiting for the two of you, Seokjin kisses every inch of you and makes you serenade the crashing waves with choked moans of his name all night. 

You spend the first day walking along the beaches wading in and out of the crystal blue waters. 

You both go scuba diving to see the reefs and the colorful fish and end up getting a picture taken underwater with a sea turtle that becomes your favorite photo taken on the trip. 

At night Seokjin takes you out to sit and watch the cruise ships coming into shore and even drags you into the water. 

you leave your clothes in the sand, and press your bodies together,  skin to skin in the warm tropical water, making love in the warm water with your legs slung around his waist. 

During the daytime, it’s your turn to push him down into the sand- on the secluded beach with no one around.

you shuck off his beach bottoms, and sit astride him with your hands on his shoulders, he runs his hands up and down your back, unable to feel enough of your body. 

you slowly ride him- most of the time he’d mind the speed but not now, not when he can look into your eyes and see the love in them.

saltwater rolling off your hot bodies to pool in the sand as you make him groan and close his eyes in bliss, making him mutter your name like a prayer. 

Seokjin literally can't get enough of your body for the entirety of the honeymoon, by the end of the 5th day spent rolling around in the sheets, you even say, “I don’t know how you still have the cum for this,”

And Jin just laughs and kisses your shoulder, “I always have more for you.” and it’s gross and a little cringey- but in the end that’s your husband. 

He does relent, taking you to pet some of the dolphins and manta rays and even to a large island for a dinner of crab and lobster. 

“Anything my wife desires,” he tells the waiter.

Yoongi

The two of you spend a full 2 weeks in a secluded cottage in the mountains. 

It’s a cute cozy place full of duvets, fur rugs, and automatic fireplaces that throw heat like no body’s job and keep off the winter chill.

The two of you spend the first few days hold up in each other’s arms, enjoying the quiet away from the city. 

You don’t need anyone else in your little warm bubble on the side of the mountain; you guys don’t turn on your phones or computers- you just drink each other in. 

But your relationship with Yoongi had always been 50% unconditional all-consuming love and 50% endless passion. 

So For Yoongi, the honeymoon would 100% be about making love to you as many times as he could and in many varied and kinky ways that would make you so vocal he feared you would trigger an avalanche 

Yoongi makes love to you in front of the fireplace on the soft fur rug, the kisses he presses to your lips and to your skin burning like he was lighting a flame in you from the inside out.  

Thrusting into you as such a speed that you surely have bruises after. Growling lowly as he came that you where his- you’d be his forever. 

Ties each of your limbs to the corners of the four poster bed, and makes you cum so hard that you can barely walk the next day- not that he minds- he just ends up carrying you everywhere. Even to the hot tub out back which does a good job of relaxing your muscles 

he cants stop drinking in the way the jets of water are coaxing moans out of you, your lips parted as your cheeks pink up from the cold outside in contrast to the warm water 

Which of course results in him pulling you into his lap to make you moan for him, you hadn’t even bothered to bring a bathing suit so he took advantage of the fact that you were already nude. 

He fucks you Up against the cold window in the middle of the night so that anyone out in the woods would be able to see your naked forms. 

Before you go back- Yoongi treats you to a couples spa day in the city you fly out of.

Pampering the fuck out of you with a full body massage, facial, full body aloe Vera treatment, a fresh manicure and pedicure, and a deep conditioning treatment for your hair. 

You make him get the facial with you and he relents after you catch him falling asleep after the steam that yeah it wasn’t so bad- and he’ll probably end up getting them more often with you when you go back to Korea.

And you’re fucking glad that he warns the female masseuse that you have a lot of… ugh, love marks in unfortunate places.

Your honeymoon ends up being just what you need and you return to your lives sated…. for now. 

Though being married to Yoongi, you know it’s only a matter of time.

Hoseok 

You decide to have a little more of an adventurous honeymoon- you don’t have a set return date in mind when you set out on you a road trip across the continental us and parts of Canada.

With a start in Portland where you get to see some of your favorite artists play together at a festival. 

You hop from city to city exploring urban exhibits, museums, and staying in a new hotel every night (which might be good, seeing as you too tend to make the beds very messy)

You get to hug the massive trees in the redwood forest and see the coast of California.  

Hoseok and you drive into the middle of the desert, and he makes love to you under the Milky Way galaxy with only the stars as your witness among the cactuses. 

He touches your face and marvels at how lucky he got that you became his. 

borrows Jungkooks camera and takes a ton of pictures

You go to the Grand Canyon and go spelunking in the caves of the Colorado River, marveling over the stalactites and stalagmites. And laughing when a bat startles Hobi. 

You guys go dinosaur bone hunting before you head down to New Orleans and dance the night away in a real New Orleans jazz club, and Hoseok tells you he could stay in New Orleans forever just for the music if it wasn’t so humid and smelly. 

You whale watch in the Gulf of Mexico while you take a luxury ferry boat down to Miami and then a car to Disney world

You almost die of laughter when Hoseok rides the tower of terror.  The two of you take dorky photos wearing Mickey ears and wear buttons that say- just married. 

The two of you watch the fireworks in magic kingdom and he presses his lips to yours and tells you that every wish he’s ever made was for you. And it’s cheesy but it still makes you cry and you know you’ll remember it forever. 

There are marvelous misadventures as well such as the condom breaking when you’re 3 days into your first backpacking trip- way too many days away from the morning after pill. 

And you’re realizing that they’res no use for you to hike out and try to take it while you're witnessing the sunrise over the mountains that color the  field of wildflowers light yellow  when Hoseok takes your hand and presses the back of it to his mouth and says, 

“Even if the worst happens I know well both meet it together.” Because really- even though you got married young, Hoseok is 100% devoted to you and wouldn’t mind having kids with you now. Though it would be nice to wait a few years at least. 

So when you take the test the day before you fly back to Korea, and find that yes- you defiantly made a baby with Jung Hoseok, he can’t find it in himself to be anything other than incandescently happy.

Namjoon

The two of you spend three weeks in Italy, spending the first week in Venice where he rents out an entire canal side apartment with a rooftop garden and stargazing sight and back patio. 

Your honeymoon is slow and leisurely, time spent lingering over meals and in bed in the mornings. 

He takes you on a gondola ride the first day. 

You do all of the touristy things- visit museums together, walk the streets in the afternoons when the light is all golden and the streets are hazy 

You attempt to try every flavor of gelato and quickly get preoccupied with the different types of chocolate, which Namjoon thinks is adorable. 

You both could spend a lifetime wandering the city streets arm and arm and never get bored, finding the back alley hole in the wall places that have the best food. 

He takes you to a different famous restaurant each evening and to a wine and painting class underneath the hot Mediterranean sun, 

And at night Namjoon will lean in close to you and asks you how misses Kim is enjoying her honeymoon, her food, or her wine, 

and sometimes you’ll coyly look away, and he’ll kiss you his lips tasting like gelato or pinot noir as he asks “how about now?” and then another kiss “now?”

And he’ll drag you home to make love to you with you bent over the railing of the rooftop garden, 

“You gotta be quiet honey- you don’t want anyone to hear us up here do you?” 

The next week you spend in Rome where the two of you go to see the Vatican- and almost get kicked out for being too handsy, 

You get a private wine tour and the hosts let you loose in the wine fields, you guys are a little tipsy and a little too enamored by the smell of the white grapes and fertile Italian dust, 

So you hardly protest when Namjoon hoists you up- and in a show of strength that he’s proud of slings your legs over his shoulders with your back pressed against an olive tree, and eats you out like you’re a damn full course meal, 

By the time you wander back, your legs are jelly and he won't wipe the smirk off his face. “Did your wife get sunstroke, Mr. Kim?” the hostess asks, inquiring after your dazed expression  

“Maybe- we better turn in, don’t worry, I’ll take care of Mrs. Kim”  

And take care of you he did. 

Your honeymoon was more a relaxing adventure than anything else and you come back to your lives, ready to start on projects that you’d both abandoned before.

Jimin 

Jimin really wants to be a literal fairy tale prince for you- so the two of you spend nearly a month in France, even renting an actual chateau for part of it- though you do tour a fair few as well. 

You guys take a tour of champagne France, and Jimin gets progressively more and more complementary the more he drinks the bubbly liquor mixed with peaches or lemon. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you where an actual princess- we should check your family tree.” 

“This prime rib tastes good but I’d rather eat something else if you know what I mean.” 

“is it just me or am I the luckiest man in the world?” 

And the two of you get so wasted that the owner has to drive you home giggly. 

But once you’re back in the castle, the walls of yellow wood and gold leaf are warm and inviting. Jimin hugs you from behind, hooking his hands into the tops of your jeans by his thumbs and kissing your cheek, his lips sliding down the side of your face to suck on your neck. 

“Will let you make you mine in every way Jagi? Now that we’re married?”

Needless to say, you guys defiled every single inch of the chateau, you had sex in what used to be a dukes bedroom, on the wide dining room even against what you found out was a very very old painting. 

Even when he takes you to Paris he continues to act possessive of you- kissing you on the neck in public- something he’d never done before, pinching your ass in your short skirt.  

He even drags you into a back alley at one point in time, you’ve always loved how adventurous he was with your sex life, and married life has not changed that one bit- if anything it’s only made it hotter. 

He takes you shopping in Paris’s garment district loving the fancy French lingerie so much that he nearly buys have the store. 

He takes treating you as a princess really seriously, by making sure room service is ready when you wake up, and Makes sure every hotel puts roses on each bed. 

you put a love lock on the love bridge togeather. 

You go to the top of the Eiffel tower and see Paris at night time, walking through the streets all giggly and drunk after dinner, 

He takes you to the Paris opera house and even takes you on a special behind the scenes tour. 

Your honeymoon was just about spending time together- about you having him all to yourself, and as your prince and husband; Jimin was delighted to oblige you

Taehyung 

The two of you decide to take a mini trip around California for two weeks, going to see the redwood forest but also content to spend most of your time in San Francisco and la. 

After a day of traveling after your wedding you and Taehyung hole up in this nice but generic hotel when you’ve got week long reservations at a Sonoma vineyard. 

And Tae pulls you close to him while he sits on the edge of the bed, intent on just holding you while he falls asleep- tired from a day of traveling- but he’s woken from dozing when you softly whisper that you have a little surprise for him. 

“I talked to the doctor a few weeks ago… she took me off my birth control…” 

And he sort of looks up at you with this dumbfounded look, suddenly more awake then he’s been and years, and you’re trying to conceal your small but shining smile.

Tae’s been bugging you about kids since forever, but you’d always said you weren’t ready. He touches your face softly and reverently, you can see that you’ve almost reduced him to tears. 

Fingers skim across your stomach as he looks up at you with eyes full of wonder and says with his famous boxy smile “let's make a baby.”

Taehyung makes love to you and fucks you every single way over the course of your honeymoon.

Groaning like a porn star every single time he cums inside of you. You even laugh and tease him over his new kink because you swear he’s never cum that hard before. 

“I didn’t even know I liked it to be honest!” he says, blushing harder than he has in years. But your teasing is all in good fun. Teahyung shows you that Making a baby can be very very kinky and very very fun.  

“Beg for it, Darling,”

You spend a few nights in a little Sonoma vineyard trying all the best wines. And spending half the day in and out of bed- Taehyung hasn’t become any less insatiable. 

He doesn’t stop even after you remind him that it will probably take your body a little while to adjust to the absence of hormones.

In the end, he try’s so hard to get you pregnant that he forgets about having fun on the honeymoon all together, though in his mind it was still an amazing time. 

at night he brushes his hands over your (still flat) stomach pouting and saying, “I just want to start a family with you already”

Jungkook 

Your Engagement might have been a little bit rushed, seeing as Jeon Jungkook had accidentally knocked you up the one time you didn’t use a condom. 

But he knows that he could never love anyone else the way he loves you, you and your little baby bump. 

He spends your entire plane flight talking about how cute your bump looked in your dress, you’re only 4 months along- really just starting to show in any significant way.

Jungkook had popped the question to you the second you’d told him. 

Sure you were young, but he knows that he wants this with you. He wouldn’t want it any other way. 

The first few days of your honeymoon are unexpectedly chaste, the two of you decide to go to Japan together, mostly because of how close it is (Jungkook didn’t want to put you under the stress of a long flight) 

You guys have managed to time it perfectly to see the rolling hills of flowers that sit below mount Fuji 

You spend the days with him, walking among the flower paths, taking the sky tram to the base on the mountain, and visiting some of the temples. 

But a few days in- you can sense he’s getting restless, 

His hands linger on you when you go to the local hot springs, his hands grabbing at every inch of you under the hot water, but he never makes the moves you want him too. 

His hand hovers on your knee while you’re out at dinner trailing close enough to the middle of your thigh that it makes you squirm. 

You eventually ask him what’s wrong and he backs you slowly up against the door of your hotel room, his forehead rested against yours as he presses a hungry kiss against you, his stomach brushing your pump as your back hits the door softly. 

“I want to make love to you for the first time as your husband, do you think its ok? You know for the baby?” his eyes flicker down to your stomach, he looks so unsure

“Of course! I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner- I thought that- that you didn’t…like me like this.” Your insecurities feel silly now that you say them out loud to him, his eyes go wide as he almost jumps to say “God no honey you’re absolutely gorgeous- I’d say even more now!”

His hands brush over your swollen breasts as he lies you down on the hotel bed, 

“you’re so beautiful like this, of course, I want to-“ he breaks off in a groan. Nipping at the skin exposed by the deep v of your dress “I’m so lucky.” He pants out. 

Let's just say your daughter, who was born 5 months later- was the first of many children you had. 

[9pcentrash-blog]

Soft Kiss | CollegeAU Chen Linong

Notes: So I used to write these scenarios things for other groups when I was like freaking 12 or 13 when I had the writing skill of a bad middle schooler and the relationship experience of nothing but really cliche romance animes. But now I’m 18 so let’s see how this goes lol. Also my first scenario writing in like 4 years pls go easy on me. Would very much appreciate feedback cause I’m not sure this is good or not asdfghjkl. 

Words: 2.7k (haha I need to chill)

okay so i get nongnong is the soft shy boy but I think we can give him a lot more credit to think he'll take some initiative.

not saying boy would be full ‘in charge’ but I think he can really be confident in his feelings once he's confident in himself

SO i wrote this because there are too many ‘soft boy nongnong doesn’t know how to relationship’ or ‘too shy to tell you how he feels uwu’

welp im here to show a little more forward but still sweet nongnong

so buckle up cause i got real into this

okay, nongnong would probably fall in love with you from a far or being he's met you in group settings but never really had a one on one conversation with you

but he sees how cute your mannerism is when it comes to how you laugh with your friends or how you light up when you talk about something you're really passionate towards.

he notices these cute things about you just by watching 

he's w h i p p e d

'h o w can someone be so cute???' he's probably thinking

you and him have mutual friends like zhangjing and yanjun

yanjun being nongnong's roommate and you having to study english with him that’s how you guys meet

yanjun introduces you guys

at first, yeah nongnong thinks you’re cute and all but doesn't have that big of an impression on you

but his interest peeks when you spend the day 'studying' with yanjun

and by ‘studying’ I mean you guys only studied for the first hour before ordering food and started playing video games

nongnong hears yelling from outside his bedroom and he walks in to you guys playing mario cart and eating pizza

"wow yanjun" he says with a hint of pain in his voice

you both stop to look at him

"you guys dare to play my mario cart and not invite me???"

so obviously nongnong joins in on the fun

and while you guys play he starts to see how you are, beside from your brief introductions 

he realizes just how cute you are when you’re having fun

to your adorable reactions as you jump in your seat when you get hit with a shell or how antsy you get when yanjun dares to pass you into 1st place

in the end you constantly beat yanjun for first while he gets second and nongnong is just content with his stable 5th or 6th place because seeing your little victory dance and teasing of yanjun as you win everytime is enough for nongnong to feel like he's won

cause w o w he never knew he could come across someone as adorable as you

okay but that's just the surface of you guys path's crossing

you and zhangjing are best friends

but zhangjing and nongnong always get food before their history class so they can cram/get hw done last minute

zhangjing eats your food whenever he comes over your place

that damn freeloader

but you'll never actually stop him, rather you see opportunities for future food purchases from him.

so you're hungry as heck one day after class and you have no money

that's when you see your best friend rushing into one of the food places on campus

"hey zhangjing!!! buddy do you have any money on you :) "

"what why??"

"remember MY leftover pizza you ate in my fridge last weekend? :))))"

you pull out the receipts and he cant find an excuse so he reluctantly buys you food

you guys meet up with nongnong after and you recognize him

I mean how could you not

he wasn't that talkative but he was a sweetheart from what you remember

*cough* and not to mention was pretty cute *cough*

"oh hi y/n!"

nongnong lights up when he sees you

"you guys know each other??? dont you just stay inside all day, how do you know peo-”

you step on zhangjing foot hard enough so he can feel it but not hard enough for him to scream

and cue the explanation story of how you guys met to zhangjing

suprise zhangjing is good friends with yanjun too and grew up together

suprise suprise its a small world and you guys decide why not all of you hangout cause mutual friends?

the four of you then started to hangout

often had study sessions or more mario cart races as 4 people and you and nongnong got closer

nongnong, getting to know you fell in love with you even more and just really loved being around with you even tho you guys never spent time alone.

time was always spent together with either yanjun or zhangjing and he doesnt think he has any courage to even be in the same room with you alone

yanjun and zhangjing have figured out nongnong's painful obvious crush and try to help him out

zhangjing as your best friend definitely approves of nongnong cause at least he's a good kid unlike the flirt yanjun is

but anyway yanjan and zhangjing have enough of pinning nongnong and tell him he should just confess or you and his relationship will never change

he knows but he's scared

he's never dated let alone have his first kiss

he thinks its sad cause he's in college but relationships were never something he really sought out till he meet you

he never had his heart quicken so fast for someone, feel his stomach in constant knots or felt lost for words like this until he meet you

you caused all these bubbly feelings in him and he couldn't stand it, he had to tell you

nongnong decides to ask you to come over and hangout that weekend

yanjun gets kicked out but its okay cause him and zhangjing decide to hangout and spam nongnong cause they want all the updates

“yo 10 bucks he kisses her” zhangjing says while they wait for nongnong to text back

“pfft he won't do it”

“wow, doubting our nongnong”

“yeah I'm not even sure he'll go through with telling her”

“oh, if you're so sure how about raising the stakes and buy me whatever meal i want if im right”

”you’re on”

little does yanjun know, zhangjing is your best friend and he knows you

so you actually have a thing for nongnong too you’re just better at hiding it

like nongnong, you fell from the little interactions and observations

you thought it was endearing to see him always try and lighten up the mood when someone was down

or how he'd remember little things like yanjun and zhanjings favorite foods or drinks so he could get some for them when they seem to be down, eventually even doing this for you too

he gave you thoughtful advice and help when you needed it from someone besides your best friend

overall he was someone you wanted to depend on and fell for each and every time you saw him

when he asked you to hang out alone you're shocked

‘h o l y  c r a p  I've never hung out with him alone what do I do???’

you're a nervous mess but you don't want to pass up this opportunity

so you say yes

that weekend you get to his dorm and at first its very awkward

but nongnong tries super hard to lighten the mood by telling you funny stories about yanjun or doing silly things

you guys break out in laughter after listening to nongnong's story about how yanjun got a girls number only to give him a Chinese take out number and when he asked again about the ‘wrong number’ she gave him a different take out place

“I can't believe he asked again after she gave him a fake number the first time!” you laugh

“you gotta admit though it's clever she had another take out number on hand for the 2nd time”

you two are a mess of giggles and have closed the space there was previously between you 2 on the couch when you first got there

you didn't know when the two of you got so close but you and nongnong had your legs and arms brushed up against each other

every so often you would lean into nongnong's shoulders while you were in your laughing fits

and nongnong took notice to the distant and could literally feel his heart popping out of his chest

you obviously noticed the distance as well cause oh boy his smile from this close and his laugh humming in your ears made it feel like you were gonna die from how much it filled you up with this warm feeling

up close you notice little things like the cute mole right below his nose or the sweet but minty scent that probably comes from his shampoo or cologne

you both kinda come to a calm and eventually stop laughing

your eyes meet and that's when the heat rises into your cheeks and the butterflies in your stomach run loose cause his gaze into your eyes is so gentle looking

“hey y/n”

you die a little inside cause you've never heard him ever call out your name so softly like that

its timid and delivered sweetly like it was something fragile on the tip of his tongue but had a hint of fearfulness to it.

“y-yes” catching you off guard

he catches his breath

“I like you”

you kinda look at his serious expression and you're a little too shocked to say anything

nongnong sees the shock in your face and starts to panic

“oh god um- I didnt mean to scare you or anything but i just couldn't wait any longer to tell you cause you looked so cute so i just had to tell you- but it was so abrupt what was I thinking, you don't have to answer or a matter of fact you can just pretend this didnt happen if you wan-”

“I like you too!”

his panic halts and you see the visible red as his face heats up

“you do????”

“yes, I've actually liked you for awhile now”

cue nongnong's redness to increase tenfold and he breaks into that signature smile

“so does that mean if i asked you to be my girlfriend you'll say yes???”

you giggle out a ”mhm”

 and he's so happy he pulls you into a hug and you both break out into giggles

f i n a l l y  he could hold the big cutie that you were and call you his

nongnong holds you for quite some time while telling you how cute you are and goes on to list what makes you adorable

“the way your voice perks up with you get nervous or the way your giggle sounds so cuteeee” he goes on and you're heavily embarrassed

“nongnongggg please noooo” you're blushing so hard from the compliments you might actually die

he then lets you go and stops with the listing before he brings a hand to your cheek.

he runs circles with his thumb against your cheek and smiled ever so brightly

“im sorry its just- I've fallen so hard for someone as precious as you.”

man you're seriously gonna die from the sweetness of this boy

you then proceed to spend the rest of the night talking about when you started to like each other and finding that personalness you guys missed out on cause you never got the chance to hangout alone until today

later when you get ready to leave for the night nongnong stops you outside his door

“wait y/n before you go, can I hold you for a bit?”

u m  y e s

but in reality you just nod yes shyly before he pulls you into a hug where his big frame just sallows you up

hes so warm and sweet smelling when your face kinda presses into his chest

it’s the sheer definition of comfort and warmth and you never want to leave

once he lets go you wince a little cause the pleasant feeling of his embrace disappears

but before he entirely pulls away he plants a little kiss on your forehead

“goodnight y/n”

you say the same and you walk off literally stumbling and disoriented cause he's so precious your heart cannot comprehend it, you’re soft from this precious boy

nongnong probably texts yanjun and zhangjing in a group chat later that night

’guys i did it! I told her and now we're dating!!!’

zhangjing: ‘okay cool but did you kiss her???’

linong: ‘on her forehead i did’

zhanjing: ‘IT COUNTS, I CALLED IT’

yanjun: ‘FUCK'

yanjun’s wallet is then screwed

anyway after all this your relationship takes off

it starts out a little awkward but you guys start to adjust in time

Nongnong is constantly shy as heck when it comes to pda and holding your hand and thats all he can handle in front of other people

he can barely do that tho when yanjun and zhangjing constantly tease

but even though he's not blatant with his affection in public he’s still someone who tries to give subtle touches

to quick back rubs if you're walking side by side to when your arm rest on tables while you study he’ll lightly squeezes them while you work

he's tends to have trouble knowing what right words to say if you're upset or mad but is a great listener

he doesn't tend to get upset as easily as you would but when he does its a pretty big deal to you

he tries his best to not let any of his ill emotion get to him or let it out on you

and he tells you how he feels but often is really reluctant to talk unless you give him lots of convincing

he even likes to put on a smile for you like he's okay but you can tell he's not

he lets it build up so when he spills to you his feelings he tends to cry and holds on to you like his life depends on it

It’s hard for him to always keep a happy face so he really values these times

your touch and warmth calms him down when he breaks down like that

his affection maybe hard to convey in public but he lives for your embrace when it's just you 2

at first he always asked if it was okay to hug you or hold your hand

he wants to make sure you're comfortable

but you guys get to the point where he doesn't have to ask but naturally he just intertwines your fingers with his or cuddles up to you when you'd be sitting on the couch or his bed alone together

now kissing is a different story

at first he could only give you kisses on the forehead or your temple

progressively he started getting bolder sneaking pecks on the cheek or even lips (he apologized probably the first time he randomly kissed you on the lips but you gave him a quick kiss back and he died)

he constantly gives soft pecks because long kisses aren't something you have done yet

until one day

you're sitting on his couch watching a show when he nudges you a bit

you look at him and he moves in to plant small kisses on your forehead, to your nose your cheek and then softly your lips

doing this makes you giggle and he loves it to bits

Nongnong is gentle with kisses

kissing you so delicately like you'll break under his touch

he plants a soft kiss on your lips doing it again and again and again before the soft but fleeting kisses stop and he just doesn't pull away while kissing

he keeps his position and presses his lips onto yours just as delicately but it's far more passionate then the quick kisses from before

you're a little shocked cause you wouldn't expect him to kiss you like this but nevertheless it didn't stop you from kissing back

he presses into your lips slowly and tenderly while bringing his hands up to cup your face

the kiss is long but never rough just soft and sweet

you pull away and he's dazed before he can really comprehend what he did

“oh.” slips your mouth

“oh?”

“that was uh…”

“was it bad?”

“no it was good, um really good”

he lights up

long soft kisses are now your new killer 

especially when you’re caught off guard he tends to do them the most

He usually doesn’t try to get you flustered but he wants to do it once in a while

so he loves how flustered they get you because of the kisses and definitely plans on doing them more

so ultimately this boy is definitely gonna be the death of you

[dong-hyucks]

Dating Baekhyun Would Be Like…

Masterlists

you n baekhyun were childhood friends

call me out on the cliches if you want

bUt you guys met in grade school

you came from two different ‘cliques’

you never really hung out

like, you’d talk to each other if your paths crossed, but you were mere acquaintances 

when you guys were twelve, the ‘cliques’ began to diminish

people’s interests expanded, and in turn so did the small friend groups

your best friend ended up befriending baekhyun

so you ended up hanging out with him occasionally

it was only when baekhyun asked you if you wanted to get food with him did you really become friends

anywho, you n baekhyun made it a regular wednesday n friday night thing to get fast food at midnight

then on the weekend, you guys would jam out to music n just mess around

as the years passed, he’d sing to you a lot n teach you songs on the piano

you guys got really close

you were practically his cheerleader n vice versa

when you got your first job n paycheck, he celebrated with you by taking you out to some restaurant (even tho it was a regular thing)

and when his band won first place at a music festival, you were in the first row with a stupidly bright n glittery sign

he always says it looked embarrassing, but you know he was thankful

not to mention when he had gotten accepted as a trainee

that celebration took two weeks to clean oops

anywhoodle

it was only after you graduated high school that you gained feelings for him

you honestly suspected it early junior year

when he practically saved you from saying yes to some jerk’s request to go out

he had found evidence of the guy being a playboy

you were forever grateful for it, because honestly you weren’t up for heartbreak

but when you thanked him, he said he’d do it any day

for you

that was the first time you noticed your heart racing around baekhyun

to top it off, he noticed how stressed you were during final exams senior year

during your spare, he found you stressing over your next exam in the library

you were angrily wiping away tears me rn

he didn’t even say anything, instead placing a bookmark (from where, idk) in your text book n closing it, pressing save on your laptop, and pushing everything into his own backpack

“baek?? tf are you doing?”

he just smiled down at you n took your hand before running out of the library with you

getting scolded by the stern librarian (”byun! stop running--”) didn’t stop him from booking you out of there

“baekhyun, seriously what are you doing? i need to study”

baekhyun just grinned over at you, dragging you down a long hallway

after realizing he was leading you out of the school, you rose a brow in suspicion

“baek, stop--” so he did

“i seriously need to study--”

he shushed you, making you knit your eyebrows together

“no,” he began, a weak smile playing his lips, “what you need is to relax.”

“baek, i will fail my exam if i relax.”

he huffed, swinging an arm over your shoulder

“[Y/N], you’ll fail your exam if you keep stressing yourself out like this. remember freshmen year?”

you winced with a slow nod

freshmen year, you had crammed for a test two blocks before the actual test

you had stressed out so much that by the time the test came around you had ‘stressed away the answers’

you had gotten so stressed that you couldn’t grasp onto the answers

you failed that test, needless to say

after that you always told yourself to just study beforehand, and not cram everything into one hour

unfortunately, due to your job, you hadn’t had the time to study as much as you wanted to

“you need to relax,” he said with a smile. “now--”

he laughed, the loud noise reverberating against the walls as it traveled down the otherwise quiet and empty hallway

he took your hand once again, walking backwards a bit as he smiled over at you

“ready to have some fun?”

you let out what could be accepted as a laugh, though much more breathy

shrugging, you nodded and followed his lead down the corridor and out through the eastern doors

you stayed quiet, staring at the back of his head curiously, wondering what on earth was going through it

you heard people whispering about you, something you weren’t surprised about

normally students preferred to stay inside and study during final exams, so it was odd seeing you and baekhyun out

anyway, he had taken you to a river

the river was familiar to you, a small, unnoticed one by a -- you guessed it -- small and unnoticed playground

the two of you stood above the river, leaning over the edge of the bridge as you just vented to one another

you stayed like that until you realize you only had ten minutes until your next block

you guys were almost late to your next class, but you did make it barely

anywho, you literally starting liking baekhyun when he picked you up from work

it had been pouring the entire day and no one had come in but your boss insisted you stay to lock up

which was at eleven at night

you were prepared to run home and get soaked from the rain honestly

but when you turned around, baekhyun was leaning against the building, umbrella in hand

he only noticed you had gotten out when he heard the jingle of your keys

the first thing you noticed was the fact that he wasn’t wearing a proper jacket

he was shivering

meanwhile, you were clad in a thick jacket having prepared for the cold and yet you were freezing

“what are you doing here so late?”

“i wanted to walk you home.”

the walk home was silent and yet your heart would not stop racing

you had to stand relatively close to him because you wanted to stay dry and you wanted him to stay dry

the umbrella he brought wasn’t that big

when you guys reached your house, he leaned over and pressed a kiss against your cheek

“good night, [Y/N], sleep well.”

he didn’t even let you respond before he turned on his heel and left, disappearing into the darkness of the rainy night

it was in that instance that you really knew

“i like byun baekhyun“

you kind of just acted the same after that

every time you hung out with baekhyun you’d contemplate whether or not to confess

fortunately for you, baekhyun did you a favour and did it

he had been really casual about it

you were going on a walk the night before he was scheduled to do a photoshoot for his teasers

you were talking about puppies when he suddenly blurted: “hey, [Y/N]? yeah, i like you.”

you c h o k e d

“bAeKhYuN yoU caNt JusT--”

“well, you like me too, right? so there’s nothing wrong with me confessing.”

choking pt. 2

“am i wrong?”

...

“no. but we can’t date baek.”

he was frowning, but he nodded

his frown made you feel guilty bUt

“you’re going to be a rookie soon. your career should be your main focus.”

by the time you finished saying that, you had reached your doorstep

mustering the courage, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, just as he had before

“i’ll wait. good night, baek.”

after that, you barely talked to baekhyun

he began to get busier and busier, what with his debut coming up

and your job slowly got more and more demanding

two years after EXO’s debut, your friendship with baekhyun wasn’t near as extensive as it once was

at most, you guys see each other once a month or two

he does make an effort to keep in contact with you, however

truthfully, you do still like baekhyun

every now and then he’ll send you some goofy text about what he did that day and you’d find yourself falling for him all over again

you had no idea if he still felt the same

you never really talked about it after that night

one day, after a very stressful day of work, you came home to see your light on

you just assumed you were dumb and left them on before going to work

you nearly screamed when you saw a man’s back hunching over your dining table

you did, actually

the man jumped ten feet and screamed with you

you recognized his voice pretty quickly

“byun baekhyun wHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE”

“WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING”

“TAKE A G U E S S”

he then just sheepishly smiled

guys im choking i just searched up baek n taeyeon bc i have no idea when they started dating aND GUESS WHAT

‘when did kris leave exo’ is the first thing that comes up if you search up ‘when did’

moving on

he held out a bouquet of red tulips

“tulips?”

“roses were too cliche”

you just laughed, taking the bouquet and holding it to your torso

“what’re you doing here? it’s almost midnight”

he smiled, “it’s been exactly two years since i confessed to you.”

you raised a brow

he remembered the day he confessed?

“you told me to focus on my career, and soon EXO won’t be considered a rookie group.”

you heart began to race wildly

“and we don’t have a dating ban, so--” he paused, pursing his lips. “will you go out with me?”

finally

we got to the actually point of this post

it only took 1.6k words

ANYWAY

dating baek is really lowkey

obviously

technically, he was still considered a rookie and the both of you agreed that you wouldn’t want to reveal anything

but he’s still sweet nonetheless

he makes a very valiant effort to talk to you at least once a day

bc he’s talked to idols who broke up with their s/o’s due to lack of communication (probably lol)

also says ily at least twice a day

his first ‘i love you’ wasn’t so much romantic but rather just platonically loving?

you guys would say ily to each other when you had gotten really close before

so saying it to each other whilst you were dating felt really natural right away

you’d constantly be hyping him up

every comeback you’d facetime him n rant about how amazing the songs are or how perfect the mv is

also complimenting the crap out of the other members just to irk him

you, chanyeol, and jongdae have a lil thing going on where you purposely flirt very, very, very badly just to mess with him

“did you just blink? hot”

baekhyun plays along tbh

except he flirts w the guys to ‘make you jealous’

tbh it just makes you laugh

dates with baekhyun are either really lazy or really thought out

you’re either lounging around your house in your pj’s ordering pizza or you’re having a picnic on the roof of your house w fairy lights strung about

you guys lit candles once on one of those dates

never again

fake candles are the way to go

you guys have dates every time your schedule corresponded with each other

which is like once or twice every fortnight

moving on

your first kiss happened a month after you started dating

he had stayed over at your place and you woke up before him

you had started to make hot chocolate (or whatever drink you’d like in the morning) when you heard him stumble out of the guest room

yes, the guest room pfft

he sleepily walked waddled over to you

you were laughing bc of his bedhead

though yours wasn’t any better

“morning,” you’d say, stirring your hot chocolate as you looked at him in amusement

he opened his eyes and shot a lazy smile in your direction before opening your fridge and getting out a jug of milk

“morning, sweets”

it was silent for a bit, with him digging out your cereal box from the pantry and you sipping on your drink

it was only until after you two had settled down on the couch did you begin talking

you were curled up into his side as he slowly ate his cereal

you had left your drink on the coffee table bc you didn’t trust yourself to not spill it in your position

“sleep well?”

“like a baby.”

he just laughed at your simile, looking over at your tired n slightly bloated face

“dork,” he’d mumble, leaning over and pressing his lips against yours as if he had done it thousands of times before

you just blinked in shock, the situation processing slowly

when you had fully realized what he did, you laughed and leaned into him

“dork.”

fights don’t happen that often

serious fights anyway

you guys can bicker over the smallest of things, but baekhyun wouldn’t like going to bed with you being upset or angry with him, so those petty arguments would be resolved pretty quickly

if you did have a serious fight, it would probably be over his or your health

baekhyun’s an idol, and idols are are they known for working quite hard

sometimes, too hard

there would be days when one of the boys would call or text you saying baekhyun had fainted, whether it be from exhaustion or from hunger

you dreaded those days

you know very well that he hated to get scolded or told off for it, but he needs to know that his health comes first

but baekhyun wouldn’t want to take it at the time, so he’d storm off to cool down

it’d be pretty tense for a while until you two talked it out

when you did talk it out, you’d talk with one another for at least an hour

the both of you strongly believe that communication is important and you’d like to hear the full story from one another

after your first fight like that, baekhyun would be careful to not over exert himself

for you, for the group, for the fans, but most importantly; for himself

every now and then, he’d fall back into old habits but he’d be quick to correct himself

he would love being able to tell you anything

if he’s stressed over a comeback or if he read a particularly rude comment about him or the boys, you’d know

it was the same for you

the two of you would be very open with one another

anyway

you probably wouldn’t go public until a few years down the road

going public is a big step and you both wanted to make sure that you were 100% with the relationship

plus you needed permission from several people within his label

but, you eventually did go public

EXO-L’s and anyone else who followed up in the kpop news knew about your relationship

it was both scary and relieving

on one hand, you knew for a fact that there would be people who didn’t agree with your relationship

but on the other hand, you knew that there would also be people who supported you and baekhyun

in all, dating baekhyun would be fun

he’d make everything interesting in some way

and there’d be endless inside jokes that no one else but you two would get

so please

love and support him, okay? :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

[yas-surveys]

154.

1. Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? - probably 2AM, just because everything’s still and quiet and it just seems peaceful

2 Have you ever been in a lighthouse? - no

3. What are the names of the neighbours to your right? - mar and nitz, i forgot their last name oops

4. Left? - theres a lot of people there but the berceros

5. When’s the last time you actually sat down and watched the sun set? - actually never done that danggg

6. Are you on a laptop or desktop? - phone

7. Do you ever make your own surveys?  - oOoo no

8. What colour is your shower? - orange

9. Where do you order your pizza from? - i dont eat pizza (: next.

10. When is the past time you had a serious talk with someone? - oooo i honestly dont know probably kirsten

11. What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? - idk i wanna sleep already since it is 2:47AM but i cant sleep so i went on tumblr to answer a few questions

12. How old are you, your parents and your siblings combined?  - 182,,,, i literally had to switch to the calculator app

13. The last time you went out of town was?  - last saturday and todays a thursday

14. And where did you go?  - rizal

15. Have you ever been bit by an animal?  - no

16. Where is the person you miss the most right now?  - idk

17. Have you been paying attention to the Olympics much?  - no

18. How often do you take naps?  - not much

19. I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but when do you go back to school?  - january 10

20. Did it rain today?  - it’s only 1:50PM, not yet

21. What was the name of the last dog you pet? - chuckie

22. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? - hell yes!!!

23. Are you constantly judging people?  - ummmm not really???

24. Have you ever had anything stolen from you?  - yes

25. Think back to your freshman year in high school, what was the first class period on your first day of school?  - omg I ACTUALLY CANT REMEMBER?? ?? i think it was filipino!!

26. What colour is your bike?  - pink and purple

27. When was the last time the power went out at your house and how long was it out for?  - omg i dont remember

28. What room of your house are you in? - the kitchen

29. When there’s a full moon, does it make your room really bright for a few days? - not really???

30. What is the temperature in your city right now?  - 30 °C

31. Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: - snow day, it doesn’t snow here

32. How long have you ever spent away from home?  - i don’t know??? two weeks max?

33. Ever had to get any stitches?  - no omg

34. When did you last use a post-it-note? - i don’t remember 

35. Would you ever want to own your own restaurant?  - not really

36. Do you have a fan in your bedroom?  - not at the moment

37. Have you ever seen the White House?  - not irl

38. How about Niagara Falls?  - no

39. What about the four corners, have you ever been there?  - the what?

40. The most recent staircase you went down, what did it lead to?  - parking of a small mall

41. Have you ever thought about what life would be like if we all slept during the day and were active at night?  - tHAT WAS MY LIFE LAST SUMMER AND IT Was so fucking hARD LET ME TELL YOU

42. What colours are the counter tops in your kitchen?  - granite countertop

43. Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? - no

44. Which major body of water do you live by?  - pacific

45. Who is the last person that you took a picture with? - i dont remember

46. What type of food do you eat the most?  - mEat? ? ? 

47. When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam?  - just all the time?????

48. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them?  - yeS

49. What do you enjoy most about your life?  - dogs

50. When was your most recent trip to an aquarium?  - oh dang, grade school probably

51. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer?  - i don’t eat salad

52. Last time you changed the light bulb to the lamp that you use in your bedroom? - my brother broke my lamp way back, and i havent bought a new one since

53. Does sleeping past 12 or 1 in the afternoon make you feel like you’ve wasted a lot of your day or do you enjoy the extra hours of sleep?  - i enjoy the extra hours of sleep. always.

54. Have you ever witnessed a tornado?  Nope.

55. How many times a year do you go out of state?  I haven’t gone out of state in 5 years. It’s not something we often do.

55. Has your best friend ever moved away? - my childhood best friend yes

56. If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone?  - yes

57. What website do you visit the most often?  - twitter prolly 

58. How good would you say your memory is?  - amazing

59. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep?  - when im scared or sick, a couple of times, but on a normal sleep, no

60. Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? - yeah

61. For what reason did you last cry?  - i don’t know but i cry for a lot of reasons

62. How long have you been taking surveys? - 2014????

[agentbrainspit]

Monsters

Meet my friends: Anxy -anxiety, Deppy -depression, and this weeks special guests, the other mee’s! {They’re just a group of different personalities that hang out at the bar in my mind palace}.  Anyway, living with them is super tough! Now, Anxy and Deppy have been around or quite some time. After all these years, we’re kinda hella tight. They’re always there to stop me from doing what I love, or assume that people hate me and don’t want to be bothered. They’re great! 

All of the things I used to love, all the funny things I used to do.. I lost it all. I had a voice, I was loud and proud and I didn’t give  a rats ass who heard me. Now, I hate to give credit to growing up but....I just might be growing up. But now THAT shouldn’t have much to do with losing myself. I just don’t understand what happened? How does one forget how to be themselves? How does a person forget how to be..a person?  OK, let me explain. 

This is what its like to live with Anxy and Deppy, and the other bunch of me’s....

-I’ve lost my love of research.  I don’t look anything up anymore because it a) takes too much “effort, b) I think I’m ok to live without knowing who sings this song, or who played who in that movie, etc. ,c) I’m too busy being sad with Deppy to look things up. Bitch really brings me down, ya know?

-I’ve lost my verbal skills. I come from a very well educated household. I was top writer n my class. My speech skills have severely declined because, bitch ass Anxy, doesn’t like me to speak to people, or read things properly, or express the funny shit that I say in my head out loud. Therefore, I sit silently and enjoy the way others express themselves. Artful, really. 

-Can’t really say I’ve lost ALL my verbal skills. That’s when the other mee’s come in. FYI, they like to show up at random times, and most of the time, they’re super instigators. They like to strt shit up with Anxy and Deppy. “Team Anxiety!” “Go team depression!!”  Bitches, all of them. Some of these “me’s” are deep. They question life, and random things in the universe. They can be very meta, and see things that other people can’t. I think this particular ‘me” has pareidoilia (where you see faces and things in everything). The ‘me’s’ don’t really have they’re own names but this one is the artsy one. She sees art in everything. She see’s the emotions, the feelings, the possibilities behind everything she sees, everything she comes in contact with, and she can appreciate it all. Silently, she sits and enters a trance as she picks up on all the details, or thinks of some ridiculous theory.  She tries to get “deep” with people, but her thoughts are like from another world. Strange. People just don’t get her, which is why she refrains from talking. “The silent one”.

Then there is also the rude one. She straight up doesn’t give a shit about anything or anyone. She isn’t conceited or anything like that- she knows better. But she tells it like it is and sometimes people cant handle it. She can be brash and maybe even mean. If she’s in the wrong, she’ll just walk away and not care. Throws everything away over something stupid. Does irrational things out of spite. If what she wanted to eat so badly wasn’t available to her when it could have been if it weren’t for someone else making the final choice,  she just won’t eat. Literally stare. How dumb is that? She hasn’t been out too often lately because Deppy makes her weak and she doesn’t have enough energy to be rude.  “The rude gal”.

There  is the “mama”. She want’s to help everyone, and take care of them. Maybe sometimes she comes off as a nagging mom, or “annoying”. She’s always aware of safety, and proximity, and preventing terrible accidents that she sees flashing in her head. Anxy is always on her back about keeping things safe and doing things the right way and yada yada yada. She will sweat her life away trying to serve you and take care of everyone, even though she knows they won’t do it for her. She gives too much advice sometimes, she always has a suggestions. ugh... just shut up. Yes, she can be annoying, but.. she just wants to make sure you’re ok. Really. 

There’s the scary one. Mean, rude, disgusting, vulgar. She feeds off the anger that is the fiery spawn of Anxy and Deppy. She suggests the cruelest things. Visions of gore, tragedies, fights, etc, flash before my eyes and it takes everything i HAVE TO KEEP HER AT BAY. I let her loose a few times a while back, and let me tell you.. it was not a good time. She gets through just a tad at times, causing me to have wild mood swings. Throwing things, breaking things, screaming, crying until I can’t breathe, and then she finally suggests that I just end it all- “Today could be your day! Just get it over with. You’ll feel better! You’ll see.” The tiniest spec of me that is left calls out to the shell that is me, and reassures me that things will be ok. Of course, Anxy is now in a tizzy, because “what will my family say?” ,” i can’t do that to my mom”, “ what will i be missing out on?” “what if i was sent here for something and i just gave it all up, so easy?’, “will anyone even notice?”. Deppy chimes in and just tells me to think about it later on. “Be lazy about it for now., at least you can think it over. We don’t have energy for this, its time to be a mopey zoo lion.”

Lastly, hopefully, is the witch. She’s always been with me, since birth. Runs in the family. She is kind,healing,  and also wants to help people. After all, it is her spiritual job. AWESOME! Only problem with this is that she can hear and feel extra things. Voices from beyond. She can hear feelings. She can feel energies.This has always been her thing, but as of the last few months, she must have gone through some kind of transformation, because now she won’t shut up. Hearing voices and noises that don’t belong to anyone or anything, which has made me quite jumpy. Also, at random times when near someone, friend or stranger, she can pick up things about these people, and just makes me  spit them out to these individuals. Of course I’m going to get weird looks when I’m basically telling you something about yourself that i couldn’t have possibly known. People don’t take to that all too well. 

The once outgoing and vivacious creature that I used to be has become muted and still. It’s because I have all these things and voices going on my head and I’m trying to control them so that I can function normally. Just another thing that turns people away... why talk to someone who doesn’t freaking talk!? 

-I’ve lost my motivation to do the things I love. Art is my life, and boy do I have soo many incredible ideas. Deppy just doesn’t want me to do them because “sleeping” is a better idea. The fact that I can’t even express myself makes me even more depressed.  You see the cycle? Dumb!

-I used to go to the salon every week to do my hair and nails. I was always looking fresh and had makeup and I took exceptional care of myself. I’ve seen the same bullshit in my closet for the last 5 yrs, and ask me if I’ve reeeaalllly dressed up in while. No. The answer no. My confidence level when from 60 to 0...and fast! I try, don’t get me wrong. I deal with what I have, but I’m feeling it now as I get older that, well, maybe I should wear something other that graphic tees and cycle through the same 5 dresses I have. Its a process that now I’m trying to work on. REVAMP MYSELF. 

-I have alopecia, and poly-cystic ovaries, and nueropathy, and probably some other crap. I get moody, and I‘m in pain most the time. Anxy freaks out because shes always worried about what people will say about it, and if people notice, and she just tells me to stay silent when I’m in pain because people probably are sick of hearing me hurt and “whine”. So instead of me being vocal when I hurt, I either sit in silence wearing a sticker smile and cry on the inside when everyone is having a good time, or I seclude myself and cry in pain alone, that way I don’t have to inconvenience anyone with my troubles. Deppy agrees with suffering in silence, because who cares, really? 

With all of this going on, I’ve lost myself. I can’t focus, I don’t sleep much, I don’t each much. I can’t seem to enjoy simple things. I haven’t danced in such a long time, and damn do I want to so bad.. I’ve had chances to go dancing but Deppy was totally against it, so we stayed home in bed instead. I haven’t cooked an actual mean in months, which is sad because I love cooking! I’ve been living off of bullshit and dreams for the last few months. With every ounce of myself that is left, I am desperately trying to hold on and regain control of my life. Anxy and Deppy sure have done a number on me. 

Trying to explain it to people when they ask if I’m ok  is hard, especially when these two nudge at me and make me answer “i don’t know” or “i’m fine”. Hence me shutting down and people turning away from me.If I ever do get a chane to explain these feelings, they get overlooked. If someone else comes a long and expresses these same feelings for themselves, they get the much needed love and support. Cool. Let me just step to the side while you hug this other person who is going through literally the exact same thing I just said. My bad! Anxy and Deppy are not only ruining me but they’re ruining my relationships with other people. More importantly, I’m ruining the relationship with myself. i haven’t cared for myself in such a long time, that I’ve forgotten how to love myself. Deppy and Anxy make me hate everything that I am and forget everything I stood for. It shames me to say that often times, I lie awake at night contemplating Deppy’s suggestion of ending it all, finally. The curious cat in me won’t let me, though-thankfully- fore I’d like to see where the years take me.

It is for that reason that I am training myself to be human again. I’m looking up the trending stuff so that I can understand what everyone is talking about. I’m setting alarms for myself so I can remember to do literally everything. I mean it-eat, sleep, nap, clean, work, etc.  I have to try to re-train myself to read, and in a correct order. Not middle of the page first, then top  two sentences, then the last four. I need to learn how to use technology, and how to follow the news-I have no idea what’s going on in the world. Then I have to find a way to boost my memory. God forbid a commercial breaks comes on, I can’t remember what I was just watching. So many things that need to be done in order for me to function like a normal person. Anxiety and depression really do suck so much. Its painful, its sad, and its scary. But through all of that, I have to keep on pushing myself. I can’t let myself get ....myself down. 

Anxy and Deppy have a message - we’re sorry that this is so much for you to read. We’re sorry that were so weird and awkward. We’re sorry that you might find this to be boring. We promise this isn’t a selfish thing, we just don’t know how to express our thoughts properly. We want to love and be human again, and we’re trying, so please give us a chance. A chance is all we ask for. Some people don’t even get the idea of a chance. Thank you.  

IF YOU SUFFER WITH ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE! REACH OUT TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SPEAK YOUR MIND AS BEST YOU CAN. HELL, WRITE TO ME IF YOU WISH. WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT. I HAVE AMAZING ADVICE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, JUST NOT MYSELF. I CAN BE YOUR HYPE MAN! KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED AND ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF. WE CAN DO IT AS A TEAM. BE WHOMEVER YOU WANT TO BE. LOVE THE THINGS YOU LOVE AND DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING. IT’S GOING TO BE OK.  YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU. <3

[viralhottopics]

Why the Halo Movie Failed to Launch

The Master Chiefs left the offices of Creative Artists Agency around midday on June 6, 2005, in a fleet of limo vans. In their green, red and blue Spartan armour the cybernetically-enhanced super soldiers made quite a spectacle. Each stood six-foot-three tall, visored helmets obscuring their faces. Each carried a red bound document folder stamped with the CAA logo that contained two things: a copy of the Halo screenplay commissioned by Microsoft and written by Alex Garland and a terms sheet. None of them spoke a word.

The security guards on the gates of the major motion picture studios are used to seeing many things. Still, a hulking soldier from the future striding towards them and demanding access to the studios top brass was inevitably going to end in some kind of shooting incident — whether involving a United Nations Space Command BR55 Battle Rifle or a security guards arguably more deadly .38 revolver.

Fortunately Larry Shapiros team at CAA had called ahead and warned the studios security heads what was going on. The Master Chiefs were allowed onto the lots at Universal, Fox, New Line, DreamWorks and others without firing a single shot. If this was the videogame industry literally invading Hollywood, it was remarkably bloodless. They delivered their scripts and waited outside the meetings rooms in silent character, flicking through the pages of Variety. Everyone knew the clock was ticking: Studio executives only had a couple of hours to read the Halo screenplay and decide whether or not to make an offer before the Master Chiefs returned to CAA with the screenplay. It was the deal of the century, and a fantastic piece of showmanship.

The Master Chief suits were Shapiros idea and they ensured that the Halo deal made headlines even before the trade papers learned how rich the demands were. It was a spectacular attempt to turn Microsofts first foray into Hollywood filmmaking into a theatrical event and it very almost worked. Master Chief, the hero of Microsoft and Bungies bestselling Halo games, made his debut in Hollywood. Sadly, though, his Tinsel Town ascension was short-lived.

Microsoft was aggressive in pursuing the idea of taking Halo to the big screen. Its easy to understand why. The games, developed by Bungie Studios, were perfect blockbuster material: high-octane, intense sci-fi shoot em ups with a dense mythology and storyline and a dedicated fan-base of millions. Combined sales of the first two Halo games grossed in excess of $600 million over four years, selling north of 13 million units. The movie biz looked on in envy.

When Microsoft approached CAA about their movie ambitions, Shapiro told them about the Day After Tomorrow auction set up by CAA agent Michael Wimer and director Roland Emmerich. With a script for the apocalyptic eco-movie in hand, Wimer called the major studios and invited them to bid for it. The process was unusual: Every studio would send a messenger to CAA at an allotted time, pick up the script and then have 24 hours to read it and make an offer. Each script was despatched with a terms sheet: Heres how much we want; heres how much we want for the director, and it has to be a go movie (in other words, a picture with a guaranteed start date for production). Each studio responded by trying to negotiate terms. The only exception was Fox, who simply wrote on the term sheet: Yes.

Microsoft, unaccustomed to Hollywoods culture, was impressed by that story. It wanted to be able to dictate the terms even though it was a newcomer in the movie biz. Halo was its prize property and they wanted to protect it.

Microsoft was entering into negotiations brandishing a very big stick.

Microsoft also wanted to make a bundle of money from its sale. For Shapiro, it was typical of the gulf between the two industries. Games creators are, by their nature, engineers who deal in absolutes. For them the subtleties of Hollywood production, with its ebb-and-flow of egos and power plays, were often alien. To sell a movie into a studio and actually get it made is a lot of work, he says. It takes a lot of conversations and a lot of pixie dust being thrown about while youre getting the deals done. In the games industry, theyre technologists and theyre data driven. Theyre looking at data points and saying: We need the movie to be made, its got to be this, this and this. If you get A, B and C to be part of the movie, then great well sell you the rights. You cant do that. But, if thats what Microsoft wanted, CAA was willing to try.

To set up that kind of deal, Microsoft needed to be ready. Most importantly it needed to have a screenplay so it paid Alex Garland (28 Days Later, The Beach) $1 million to pen a spec script. The screenplay was supervised by Microsoft, which meant it was — for good or ill — heavily steeped in the games mythology. Still, the project now had a blockbuster screenwriter and was based on a high-profile videogame franchise.

Next, it was a case of setting up the auction. Peter Schlessel, the former president of production at Columbia Pictures, was one of the main negotiators in the Halo movie deal and served as Microsofts Hollywood liaison. Together with Microsoft and its lawyers, Schlessel and the CAA team hammered out a term sheet. We were literally setting out to be the richest, most lucrative rights deal in history in Hollywood, says Shapiro. You have to remember that no property, not even Harry Potter, was getting [what we were asking for]. Microsoft, a global software giant used to getting its own way, wasnt about to kowtow to Hollywood. It knew Halo was the jewel of videogame movies, the one that could be a true blockbuster hit. According to Variety, Microsoft wanted $10 million against 15% of the box office gross, in addition to a $75 million below-the-line budget and fast-tracked production.

Those were big demands. Not least of all since, at the time, videogame movies were still floundering on the edge of respectability. Tomb Raider had made a pot of money and pushed towards the mainstream but its 2003 sequel, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider — The Cradle of Life, suffered a disappointing opening weekend at the U.S. box office and limped by on its foreign grosses. The Lara Croft franchise was running out of steam early. And most other videogame movie outings werent even in the same neighbourhood as Lara. Paul W. S. Anderson, the director of Mortal Kombat, parlayed his success into the zombie-themed Resident Evil franchise distributed by Sony Screen Gems. The first movie based on Capcoms survival horror game series took $102 million worldwide and did gangbuster business on DVD selling over a million units. But it lacked the prestige and mainstream crossover potential of Tomb Raider.

Microsoft were aiming higher — much, much higher. CAAs deal-making matched the software giants aspirations. According to the New York Times, Microsoft were demanding creative approval over director and cast, plus 60 first-class plane tickets for Microsoft personnel and their guests to attend the premiere. It wouldnt be putting any money into the production itself beyond the fee paid to Garland, nor was it willing to sign over the merchandising rights. To add insult to injury, Microsoft wanted the winning studio to pay to fly one of its representatives from Seattle to LA. They would watch every cut of the movie during post-production. Clearly, Microsoft was entering into negotiations brandishing a very big stick.

With the screenplay written and the ink still drying on the terms sheet, the agents called up the major studios and advised them to be prepared. It was a bold, some might say arrogant, show of power. As Shapiro remembers it, We told them: You need to have all your decision makers in a room because were going to deliver the script for you to read together with a terms sheet. But theres a fuse on it. Youll only have a certain amount of time to make a deal.

Master Chief in the upcoming game Halo 4. Image: Microsoft

Because Hollywood is a town built on relationships, CAAs agents made sure they called all the major players. Even then there were some who felt snubbed; Miramax head honcho Harvey Weinstein called up to shout about being left off the list. Everyone had assumed Miramax wouldnt be interested in the property. Truth was they probably werent, but there was prestige to be had in being invited to the Halo party. The only major studio Microsoft refused to approach was Columbia, which was owned by Sony, its chief rival in the console war.

With his production background, Shapiro decided to add a little razzle dazzle to the proceedings. Remembering the Master Chief costumes hed seen at Comic-Con, he tracked down the one person in the U.S. who was fabricating the games official Spartan UNSC battle armour and hired seven suits: a Red, a Blue and several in Master Chief green. I had them shipped out to CAA, recalls Shapiro, they came in crates and had instructions about how to put them on. I hired character actors to wear the suits because, you know, you dont just put anyone in these suits. They had to feel like Master Chief.

For a few hours on June 6, 2005, Hollywood became Halowood. Everyone was buzzing about the Master Chiefs spotted walking through the studio lots and — more importantly — about the richness of the deal Microsoft was demanding. No one had ever seen anything like it before. Microsoft, the global corporation whose products sat on every desktop, had come to Hollywood and wasnt afraid of throwing its weight around. If showmanship and arrogance and Hollywood dont go together, I dont know what does, says Moore who was Microsofts go-between with Universal during the negotiations, reporting to the software companys point man Steve Schreck.

Not everyone was impressed. Movie executive Alex Young, who by the time of Halo had moved from Paramount to Fox, recalls reading the screenplay under Master Chiefs watchful eye. It was one of those gimmicky Hollywood things: hey, force everybody to be in a room, make it feel urgent, have a guy show up in costume and Oh my God! This feels like a big deal. It probably served Microsoft and CAA well at the time, but ultimately it seemed like a bit of manufactured theatre to me. Another problem was that the Halo property was so well-known by that point that everyone knew what to expect. You either loved the idea of making a Halo movie or you did not, suggests Young. Having a guy in costume deliver the screenplay wasnt going to convince you one way or the other.

In the end, though, it wasnt the Master Chiefs fault that the deal stumbled. Nor was it CAAs. The failure of the Halo movie remains a potent illustration of the gulf that still lies between Hollywood and the videogame business. It should have been the tent-pole movie to die for, instead it became the one that got away. Millions of Halo fans around the world wanted a movie, yet it failed to launch. Partly, it stemmed from the on-going inability of both sides of the deal to understand each others culture, needs and language.

“When the videogame industry talks to people they do it open-kimono and they expect the same transparency back. Hollywood doesnt function that way.”

Most of the studios who read the Halo screenplay passed immediately. Microsofts terms were simply too demanding. By the end of Master Chief Monday there were only two horses in the race: Fox and Universal. Microsoft hoped to use each to leverage off the other but hadnt banked on the studios very different approach to doing business. What the games industry doesnt understand is that this town is all about lunch, explains Shapiro. It doesnt happen like that in the games industry. If there was a movie studio going out to the games publishers to license Avatar or something like that, theyd say Ok were licensing Avatar, send us your best deal. But none of the games publishers would talk to each other and say Hey, what are you going to offer them?

The studios werent so reticent in sounding each other out. What happened was Universal called Fox and asked them what they were going to offer, continues Shapiro, who watched events unfold close-up. They decided to partner on it. Lets offer the same deal and offer to partner. So now we lost our leverage. Universal agreed to take U.S. domestic, Fox would take foreign. In the blink of an eye Microsofts bargaining position had been pole-axed.

The immensely powerful Microsoft had wandered into the deal navely expecting everyone to play by its rules and the resulting culture shock put immense strain on the Halo deal. For Moore, then corporate vice-president of the Interactive Entertainment Business division at Microsoft, there was clearly culture clash during the negotiations: You work for a company like Microsoft, where you do what you say, you say what you do; you think you have an agreement, youre ready to go, and then… [the deal falls apart].

It was something that talent agents working at the intersection between the two industries have experienced many times. When the videogame industry talks to people they do it open-kimono and they expect the same transparency back, says Blindlights Lev Chapelsky. Hollywood doesnt function that way, they dance and they sing and they play games and go through their ritual haggling. To somebody whos not accustomed to that, it can be insulting.

Microsoft clearly werent accustomed to it. They were used to being the strongest contender in any negotiation they entered into. But this time they were far out of their comfort zone. We dont understand Hollywood, Microsoft Games Studios general manager Stuart Mulder confessed to the trade papers in 2002 as the company inked in its deal with Shapiro at CAA. It was a throwaway comment that would turn out to be disturbingly prophetic.

What was apparent during the Halo deal-making was that Microsoft was far from home, perhaps even surrounded in enemy territory. In the middle of the Halo negotiations, as all parties sat around the table, Shapiro recalls the discussion between Microsofts Hollywood liaison Peter Schlessel and Jimmy Horowitz, Universals co-president of production, taking an aggressive turn. Schlessel was getting really tough on some of the terms with Horowitz: Come on, dont be a jerk, blah, blah, blah…. It was getting really heated. The guy from Microsoft [Steve Schrek] was like, Wow, this is really good. Then we took a break and Schlessel goes to Horowitz, Are you coming over for Passover? Because they know each other. You dont have those kinds of relationships in videogames. In Hollywood you can be getting at each other but then youre playing golf together the next day.

Even after the deal was struck, the misunderstanding over how the movie business operated continued to be a problem. Microsoft wanted a big-name director, but Peter Jackson, helmer on The Lord of the Rings trilogy, decided to sign on as a co-producer alongside Peter Schlessel, Mary Parent and Scott Stuber. Jackson wanted his new protg, an up-and-coming commercials whiz kid called Neill Blomkamp, to direct. With Jacksons fee running to several million dollars the studios knew there was an advantage in hiring a cheaper, less well-known talent to sit in the directors chair. Microsoft was reputedly not happy with the decision.

Blomkamp, a South African director who had made his mark with commercials for Nike and had shot an intriguing short about alien apartheid called Alive in Joburg, was concerned about getting chewed up and spat out while making his first feature with these three enormous corporations and a budget north of $100 million. My instinct was that if I crawled into that hornets nest it would be not good, and it was a clusterfuck from day one, he admits. Theres no question that there was a clash of worlds, for sure. The two sides werent seeing eye-to-eye.

What lured him in, beyond the obvious kudos, was his love for the property: I told Tom Rothman [co-Chairman of Fox Filmed Entertainment] that I was genetically created to direct Halo. However, Blomkamp quickly realised that the studio didnt share his artistic vision and was uncomfortable at the prospect of his gritty, post-cyberpunk aesthetic — all blurry video feeds and radio chatter – dominating a summer blockbuster. Rothman hated me, I think he would have gotten rid of me if he could have, says the director. The suits werent happy with the direction I was going. Thing was, though, Id played Halo and I play videogames. Im that generation more than they are and I know that my version of Halo would have been insanely cool. It was more fresh and potentially could have made more money than just a generic, boring film — something like G.I. Joe or some crap like that, that Hollywood produces.

Blomkamps relationship with Fox was particularly fraught. The way the deal was split between three major corporations and a handful of Hollywood producers caused several unusual imbalances in terms of power. The way Fox dealt with me was not cool. Right from the beginning, when Mary [Parent, Universals former president of production turned Halo producer] hired me up until the end when it collapsed, they treated me like shit; they were just a crappy studio. Ill never ever work with Fox ever again because of what happened to Halo – unless they pay me some ungodly amount of money and I have absolute fucking control.

He was also being pressured by Microsofts demands too. One of the biggest issues was creative control. Microsoft had paid Garland to pen the screenplay to their specifications in order to retain control over what was clearly a very valuable property to them. Halo was an Xbox exclusive title, a billion-dollar franchise, and its chief weapon in the console war against Sony. The problem was, though, that filmmaking was a collaborative exercise and total control simply wasnt possible.

If youre dealing with a company that doesnt understand the film industry, its sense of assurance comes with glossy names that have done a lot of big projects that have made a lot of money, says Blomkamp. I think the guys at Bungie liked what I was doing. Im fairly confident in saying they liked where I was going. Its highly possible that that artwork was getting back to Microsoft and Microsoft itself, the corporate entity, was not happy with it because it was too unconventional. I dont know if thats true or not, but it was entirely possible.

Against this fraught background, Universal funded $12 million of preliminary development on the movie. Some of the money was spent before Blomkamp came on-board by director Guillermo Del Toro, who was initially attached before going off to make Hellboy II: The Golden Army instead. The rest was spent on Blomkamps watch and included paying various screenwriters — Scott Frank, D.B. Weiss, Josh Olson — to redraft the original screenplay.

Meanwhile, Weta Workshop, the New Zealand physical effects company co-founded by Jackson, was fabricating real-life versions of the weapons, power armour and the Warthog assault vehicle from the game. Blomkamp would eventually use them to shoot a series of thrilling test shorts. The legacy of a movie never made, is how Moore describes the collected footage, which was later cut together under the title Halo: Landfall and used to promote the Halo 3 videogame release in 2007.

With development proving slow, Fox and Universal were beginning to get impatient. The gross heavy deal and costs increased the growing sense of unease. In October 2006, right before a payment was due to be made to the filmmakers and Microsoft, Universal demanded that the producers deals be cut. Jackson consulted with his co-producers and Blomkamp, as well as with Microsoft and Bungie, and refused. In a stroke, the Halo movie was pronounced dead in the water.

What ultimately killed the Halo movie was money. Microsofts unwillingness to reduce their deal killed the deal, says Shapiro. Their unwillingness to reduce their gross in the deal meant it got too top-heavy. That movie could have been Avatar.

Blomkamp agrees: One of the complicating factors with Halo was that Microsoft wasnt the normal party that youd go off and option the IP from and make your product. Because Microsoft is such an omnipresent, powerful corporation, they werent just going to sit back and not take a massive cut of the profits. When you have a corporation that potent and that large taking a percentage of the profits, then youve got Peter Jackson taking a percentage of the profits and you start adding all of that stuff up, mixed with the fact that you have two studios sharing the profits, suddenly the return on the investment starts to decline so that it becomes not worth making. Ultimately, thats essentially what killed the film.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2keFU3h

from Why the Halo Movie Failed to Launch