#i literally have not eaten all day and have barely drank everything

[aizenat]

As cool as it is to brag about writing 20K words in two and a half days, it's not healthy or cool how I went about this. Setting up a writing routine needs to be a major goal this year.

[pendarling]

Some Evil Things Whumper Could Be Doing + Descriptive Whump Language

Warning: I do NOT condone any acts of violence and such. These are all just for writing (Tumblr please don’t come after me😢🥺)

TW: Everything

Harsh cold breathing as Whumpee stands outside in the cold winter. The ice biting their bare feet deep in the snow as chilly winds blow their soaking body

Sneezing, sniffling, barfing and passing out after returning inside

Cutting hair and leaving uneven edges or pulling and tugging hair off. Whumper could also enforce some emotional damage by forcing Whumpee to cut off their own hair in front of a mirror.

"Fucking do it already!" "Please don't hurt me, I'll do it." "Cut it before I do!" "Okay, I will...-- I'm sorry-- I will..."

Keeping Whumpee awake all night by not interacting with them during the day but torturing them throughout the night. Whumpers who do this for about a week will have a Whumpee who refuses to sleep at night due to the fear of suddenly being jolted awake with new pain

Not letting Whumpee speak. Stuffing a cloth down Whumpee's mouth and reducing their language to just begging. That way once they appear in front of Caretaker they will be too afraid to speak or will have forgotten.

Purposely leaving wounds unattended after cutting up Whumpee's legs, thighs, hips, and hands and waiting for blood to dry, then cutting it again so it never heals.

Tightening ropes or chains around their wrists, ankles and torso enough to make it burn or dig into their skin, especially if the rope is made up of rougher materials

Feeding Whumpee nothing for days and then overwhelming them with so much food that they physically can't hold it down anymore

That dizzying feeling that leaves them sweating and anxious when Whumpee has not eaten or drank anything for so long that their mind is mentally congested

"Remember, your life, body, and thoughts are controlled by me, owned by me, and mine only. You don't have a world outside of this."

Reminding Whumpee every day that the search for them is slowly coming to a close and spreading lies that their friends and family have come to understand that Whumpee is dead

When Whumpee is so broken that they finally mindlessly agree to whatever Whumper instructs them to do

Whumpees that get slight Stockholm syndrome for their Whumper and fall into an obedient pattern with undeserved sympathy

Taking Whumpee outside after who knows how long behind closed doors. Then Whumper points out how literally not a single person knows who they are or are willing to report them

"Say it." "I'm a waste of space. Nobody wants me." "Was that so hard?"

Rewarding Whumpee after every time they've completed a chore or task with little torture or no torture at all. Alternatively, they can let Whumpee pick what they'll be dealing with for the day as a reward so at least they know they chose that option.

Hissing and crying when a hot piece of metal is slightly touching their skin. Or if you want to be extra evil: go ahead and rapidly run it up and down the forearm

When Whumpee eventually forgets their own name and history. They stopped crying a few weeks ago, they ask for permission to speak or go to the bathroom, eat, sleep, move etc...

"What do you say?" "Thank you, sir/ma'am." "You're learning well!"

Making Whumpee sit in their own dirt and blood as the pain of their wounds festering with sores, rashes and cavities builds up

When Whumper is taking Whumpee outside and before doing so, they hide their scars and bruises with makeup and clothing then practice their excuses if someone does suspect

~~~

MASTERLIST

[this-is-where-i-hide-my-bullshit]

The fucked up thing is after starting my antidepressant I was actually functioning at a sustainable enough level that I felt like I would've been able to actually get a job and keep it, then the pharmacy stopped having my Adderall and my adhd has been unmedicated for months and getting the simplest tasks done is torture.

Stuff that was so easy when I was fully medicated is now WAY harder and takes significantly longer, not to mention my memory going to shit.

It's hard enough just keeping track of the last time I've eaten or drank water or showered, it's hard not to accidentally neglect myself because my sense of time is completely broken and a week feels like 3 days. I can barely take care of myself no matter how hard I try because I can't remember to do the things I need to do.

I have a bullet journal to write things down in so I don't forget them. And then I completely forget that it exists so I end up not remembering to check it or write things down.

I will literally forget what I'm talking about MID SENTENCE. If I'm in a crowded place like a grocery store, I can't understand what people are saying when they try to talk to me because their voice blends together with all the other noise in the store. I can hear everything but I can't pick apart the sounds, it's all just one big noise, so the words are unrecognizable.

I need verbal instructions repeated multiple times before my brain absorbs the words enough to comprehend them, no matter how hard I'm paying attention. And when I'm stressed it's even harder to understand.

My family is annoyed with my problems but I'm the one who has to live with them every second of every day. I would very much like to NOT be like this but I need my god damned Adderall to fix it because my brain is defective.

[spiralling-thoughts]

Ahhh the pain I can literally think of All kinds of possibilities and arguments that would occur between the tributes and their mentors and all sorts of heartbreaks. The youngest tributes would definitely be the first to start breaking down when they are separated from their protectors I always feel that mizzen was very scared and confused before the games and it was only coral encouraging and comforting him and resurging him that he is strong that helped him keep going so but now that they are separated he is fully the scared 13 Year old boy that he is he's curled up into a ball sniffing and crying and whenever someone approaches him he asks in a Shakey tone if he can see coral and eventually it esculent where he screams that he wants his parents too and that he wants to go home. Wovey is so confused and constantly wandering her cage asking where bobbin and the others are and at night she's heard crying and the next day she says that she couldn't sleep because she can't sleep alone and bobbin was always letting her sleep on his shoulder and resurging her whenever she was scared and anytime capitol citizens come to gawk at her she just asks where bobbin is? Where are the other tributes? When can they go home? And why is she being left All by herself? . And dill's health starts getting worse I can confirm from personal experience that crying when having a bad cough makes it all the way worse so dill is in a very pitiful state she is shaking and crying nonstop while her cough gets worse and worse until Felix starts freaking out and tries to get her to stop crying but obviously she can't she was so scared ever since she was reaped and reaper was the only one comforting her and keeping her from crying and she tries to say that but her voice had become so bad she struggles in talking. Meanwhile reaper and bobbin and coral are freaking out at first they furiously demand they get to see their district partner but eventually they break down and it turns into begging , and when festus tells coral that mizzen is just a temporary ally and she needs to stop acting like this because this will cost her sponsores she loses it and start yelling at him and rousting him so bad no amount of water will save him she tears it into him how he doesn't view either of them as humans and how he's everything that she despises about the capitol and how mizzen is someone she genuinely cares about not just a temporary ally

Actually here's a hypothetical conversation about how I think facet snapping at Livia would be like Bec the boy deserve to get to rant about her p.s I am not that good in writing conversations so sorry if these sounds cheesy

Livia comes to brag about how facet should win but he isn't listening to her and instead ignores what she's saying and asks how velvreene is doing to which Livia loses it

Livia: WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU I AM YOUR MENTOR YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSING WHILE I AM TAKING TO YOU INSATED Of a compatitor that stands between me and winning!

Facet: that " compatitor" as you call her CARED MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU EVER WOULD YOU SELFISH ENTITLED BRAT

Livia shocked and taken aback then frustrated: HOW DARE YOU? AFTER ALL THAT I HAVE DONE TO...

Facet: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL you never even bothered bringing me food when I haven't eaten or drank anything in days! All you did was just bragging about how you can win using me even though I would entir the games malnourished velvreene constantly gave me the whatever she got from her own mentor even though it was barely enough for her she cared more that I don't starve more than you did and your seriously shocked I am more concerned about her than you?

L: I...I had more importantly matters to attend to

F: yeah sure because grabbing something from your fancy kitchen and taking a 10 minute walk to give it to someone who's about to enter a fight to the death must have been so hard for you it was easier for you to just sit around in your fancy palace imagining yourself already winning . Listen here you B*** it's been living hell for me ever since I was reaped and the other tributes who are supposed to kill me cared more about me than you my mentor ever would after all I am only a replaceable toy to you after all you don't care if I make it back home or if I come back to my family all you care about is your stupid price to satisfy your ego you did nothing to me and you act like I owe you anything GET OUT GET OUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU !! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Then after he yells that leans against a wall and starts crying meanwhile velvreene is beginning her mentor to send food for facet and tells that livia won't bother feeding him

The nail in the coffin could be when the interview happens and the tributes get to reunite and immediately ask how each one of them is doing the concern very obvious on their faces and lots of district partners embrace one another with tears in their eyes and it's such a sad sight that breaks the iceiset hearts

TBOSAS where the thing that fixes the pain and suffering is the Capitol’s cruelty. Because I love positive irony like that.

Somehow, the zoo enclosure where the kids are kept is destroyed. Since it’s so unbearably hot in the books say something caught on fire and the tributes were taken out of the enclosure because there won’t be any games if all of them are dead. This conveniently sidesteps Brandy’s death because it happens either just before or right after she stabbed Arachne. If she did kill her bitch of a mentor the fire was so beautifully times that all evidence of her little crime was destroyed and nobody knows it was her. How convenient. One could almost say it’s divine intervention. Now, the kids need to be kept somewhere, and the zoo was sooooo annoying for the mentors, so the tributes are put in cages around the city. Near the academy so those poor oppressed rich kids who aren’t about to die don’t have to suffer even more for traveling 10 minutes to see the vile district scum. This… backfires horribly for the Capitol. See, the tributes are separated. For the sake of this story they’re all in separate cages on their own.

How does this lead to a fix-it? Well, it’s now much harder to not interact with the tributes. You don’t have to go to the zoo to see them, and you won’t have to pay money either. The tributes can’t hide in the enclosure, so everyone can see the discomfort plain on their faces as they try to cling to some kind of privacy. The cages have one side agains some kind of structure, so seeing these kids ducked agains the one solid part of their cage is very hard hitting because it’s impossible to ignore what they’re going through now. Even the biggest tributes look small, all alone and helpless.

And then the mentors get involved, and things really kick into high gear. All the tributes like Sejanus, and at first people thought it’s because he’s district. Now they can see it’s because he’s actually nice to them. The nicer mentors are trying their best to help their tributes, and the less amazing ones receive a bit of a cold shoulder. Several fights between different pairs of mentors and tributes happen, and all of them color in the kids’ perspective of everything in a way that’s undeniable. I feel like a big part of why the Capitol citizens had so little empathy is because they refused to see things from the tributes’ perspective due to not seeing them as people. But when massive crowds witness these arguments, it’s hard not to. When all you see is a figure deep in the enclosure and a face on a screen it’s easy to chalk their anger up to some irrational grudge or just vile beasts being their vile beastly selves without thinking about it too much. It’s a lot harder to do that when you have Facet screaming at Livia for treating him like a disposable object and shirking all her duties as a mentor, such as providing his basic needs, while pretending she’s done jack shit for him. When the citizens hear the raw emotion in his voice, it’s very difficult to not feel even the slightest bit of empathy.

And when they watched Lamina cry on a screen, it was easy to laugh at her for being so weak. But when this young girl is sobbing right in front of you, and you can see the pain on her face? Suddenly it’s a whole lot less funny. Even more so when she calls Pup over and ignores the food he offers her in favor of asking about her district partner. The crowd can’t ignore what they’re putting these kids through when they watch a clearly starving girl only accept food when she’s reassured a boy that has to die for her to live is being fed. When Lucy Gray sings for food it feels like the beggars in the city until she asks her mentor to bring more than half of what she got to Jessup and whichever tributes have gotten the least that day. And when all the tributes keep asking about each other with clear and obvious worry, even for the tributes from other districts who they’ve only known for days, suddenly the people find themselves stuck with the unescapable notion that these are kids who are being forced to perform like circus animals, who are about to be forced to kill each other, yet still find it in themselves to show empathy. It’s especially inescapable when the tough, strong tributes who everyone expects to be vicious are the ones doing this. Reaper and Coral for Dill and Mizzen, of course, but even more impactfully Marcus for Sabyn. Two of the stronger tributes showing concern for one another, despite neither having that underdog or innocent air the younger tributes have.

At one point, Treech is performing for a crowd and some of the mentors pass by, including Vipsania. As soon as they approach he stops what he’s doing and retreats to the one solid side of his cage. Vipsania calls for him, and he utterly ignores her existence. All he dignifies her with is a hateful glare. Then Pup comes into his line of sight, and he shoots up immediately to ask whether Lamina’s okay. It’s only when Vipsania gets huffy about this that Treech actually acknowledged and responds to her. Not nicely though. Rather, he goes “now why ever would I not want to talk to you? It’s not like you starved me so I’d perform or anything. Gosh, it’s such a mystery!” Before turning back around intending to sit down. Vipsania tries to defend herself and it goes about as well as you may expect. By which I mean, a one-sided screaming match ensues. More like Treech giving into the urge to start ranting and raving about all the shit he’s been through while finally telling Vipsania how he feels about her treating him like a toy to use and discard once he’s no longer of use to her. When she says she just wants to help him now, he reminds her that her “help” so far has come down to actively making his life harder for her own benefit. “You’ve done enough, Sickle. Go back to your prissy princess palace and leave me alone.” Very similar to Facet when he finally gave Cardew a piece of his mind, actually.

And slowly people start giving the tributes food, even when they’re not performing. Slowly they start to change their minds about the games, and once the interviews happen they finally realize all these kids have families and friends waiting for them in the districts. And only one of them gets to go home. But… they’ve seen how sweet these kids are to those that don’t treat them like shit. And honestly, nobody really wants to see them die anymore. And they realize if they don’t act now it’ll be too late. So they act. And long story short the games are finally stopped for good.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Bottomless Mimosas

AN: I was laughing the entire time writing this lol I hope yall like it

Synopsis: First time out at brunch with your best friends after giving birth to your twins

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please do not repost my content anywhere

"Oh shit, help her up!"

There you were in the bushes next to the parking garage outside of the restaurant you and your best friends just came out of.

You just wanted to go out with your best friends and get a much needed break from being a new mom. You were grateful, but having had two at one time was catching up to you. It's been four months since you had them with your husband Jack and he called your best friends to take you out for the day.

The day had been going fine until the mimosas came out at approximately 11:23 am.

It was now almost 2 pm and here you were drunk off your ass.

"I'm trying! Y/N give me your hand."

"No! I have a boyfriend! I'm not a cheater!"

"You actually have a husband. Girl, come on before someone sees us."

"Oh my gosh, my head is spinning."

"I guess so. You had like eight drinks."

"Ohhh, don't tell Jack. We can wait it out."

"I'm already calling him because you can't even stand up. This is not something we can wait out. We'll be here for hours."

"Nooooo. I can walk."

You attempted to get up, but fell down again.

"Oops."

One of your best friends Courtney sat you on the curb and sat next to you to help keep you from falling over.

You could barely sit up straight and you damn sure couldn't walk.

Thank goodness Courtney had driven you.

Your other best friend Amanda was calling Jack and he picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Jack we have a situation."

Before Jack could respond to Amanda, all he heard was you screaming in the background.

"Babyyyyy, I miss you." with a hiccup proceeding directly after.

By then, he knew you were fucked all the way up.

"Please don’t tell me that's Y/N in the background." Jack replied while pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"Umm, well you see what had happened was...” 

All Jack could do was sigh before grabbing his keys and making his way to the garage. Thank goodness the twins were with his mom.

He thought it would be a good idea for the three of you to go out together, however, due to past situations which almost involved the three of you getting arrested he should have known better. 

“Just drop me the location, I’m coming.”

By the time Jack had reached you, everything was starting to spin and you had a feeling what you had eaten for brunch was going to begin to make its way back up.

You had your eyes closed and suddenly felt someone sit on the other side of you.

“Baby girl, I know I told you to go out and have fun, but damn.”

You peeked one eye open before proceeding to lay your head on Jack’s shoulder.

“I don’t think I drank too much. I told them not to call you and to wait it out.” Hiccup.

“We beg to differ and you need to sleep this shit off. Wait it out my ass.” Courtney added while stifling a laugh.

“Whatever, oh my gosh, JACKKK someone was trying to hit on me and I held up my hand and said no, I have a boyfriend.”

“We’re married, but go on.”

“No, don’t let her go on because it was me trying to help your dumbass up once you fell in the bushes. No one was trying to hit on you.”

“Waiiit, we’re married? When did that happen?”

“About three years ago.”

“Wait until she finds out about the twins.” Amanda added while trying not to laugh as the scene unfolded in front of her. 

“I HAVE KIDS? WITH WHO?”

“With your HUSBAND.”

“Who’s my husband? I’M MARRIED?!”

“Jack honey... Jack is your husband and he is literally sitting right beside you.”

“Ohhh, I thought you looked familiar. I think you’re the lock screen on my phone.”

All three of them sighed and determined they were done with trying to convince you of anything. 

“Okay pretty girl, let’s get you home.” Without another word, Jack threw you over his shoulder and started to make his way toward his jeep.

“Byeee best friends, I love you.” You yelled out before letting out another hiccup. 

Amanda and Courtney waved and said that they loved you before making their way to their own cars while Jack was attempting to put your seatbelt on.

“Stink, sit still so I can put your seatbelt on.”

“I’m not even moving.”

“But, you are moving, put your arms down.”

You complied and laid your head back on the headrest to try to keep your head from spinning. One wrong move and you were about to throw up in your husband’s car.

Once Jack had started driving, you couldn’t do anything but stare at him.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer. And stop looking at me like I’m something to eat.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you ate me. You look really good. I mean you look really good every day, but...”

“No, you’re drunk and we are NOT having sex.”

“But whyyyyy? And I’m not drunk! Do you not love me anymore?”

“Y/N, I MARRIED you.”

“But, that doesn’t mean anything!!”

“Babe, sit back and try not to throw up in my car.”

“You won’t have sex with me so I should throw up in your car.” You pouted while crossing your arms and looking out the window. 

“SERIOUSLY?”

A few hours later, you woke up and saw that there were two excedrin migraine pills and a bottle of water on the nightstand next to you. It was starting to get dark outside and you came to the conclusion not to drink so much next time. 

But, I mean you only had about five...or was it seven?

Your head was pounding and you took them quickly before deciding to lay back down. You had the comforter over your head when you felt Jack sit next to you on his side of the bed.

“You alright over there, stink?”

All you could do was groan to let him know that at least you were alive.

“I take it that’s a no.”

“Do not EVER let me go out with them again.”

“Babe, you say this every single time and a few weeks later the three of you are back at it. Remember the time the three of you almost got arrested?”

You lifted up the comforter to simply give him the middle finger before covering yourself back up. 

“No one asked you to bring that up Jackman.”

“I’m just saying. Are you hungry? I brought food for us.”

At the mention of food, you jumped up and made a beeline to the bathroom with Jack following quickly behind you and threw up everything that you ate earlier in the day. Once you had finished, Jack fixed your bonnet since it had fallen half way off because of your quick movements and placed a wet washcloth on your forehead. You proceeded to brush your teeth before sitting back down on the floor. 

“Well, that answers my question. Come on.” Jack helped you up off the floor and lead you back into the bedroom before you plopped down onto the bed face first.

“Babe, give me the cloth so you don’t get the bed wet.”

“Can’t.... move.”

Jack sighed before turning you over and bringing you to rest your head on his chest.

“You know you said earlier that you didn’t know you were married or had kids.”

“What the fuck did they put in those drinks? Was I really that bad?”

“Yeah and I should’ve recorded it. You were convinced I didn’t love you anymore because I told you we weren’t having sex while you were drunk. I should have known it was about to be some shit when it comes to you three.”

“Oh good lord and we aren’t even that bad!” You peeked up at Jack to see him trying not to laugh and you simply hit his chest.

“I can’t stand you.” You replied while pouting.

“Love you too stink.” Jack placed a quick kiss to your forehead before you heard your phone go off letting you know you had a text. 

Jack handed you your phone and you opened it up to see that it was the group text between you, Amanda, and Courtney. 

Courtney- Y/N, if you aren’t dead we’re going out next weekend

Amanda- I would be surprised if she’s even awake

You- Bitch, say less. Where are we going? I’m readyyyy

“Who is that babe?”

“Amanda and Courtney. They want to go out next weekend.”

“Seriously?” Jack had a look of disbelief on his face and was praying you would sit this one out. 

“Yes, I have to get my outfit together. Should I wear the new black dress I got or the red one?”

[reinosaurs]

Crazy Over You (a KoiTsudu fanfic)

A/N: I’m back from the dead! HAHAHA! Hello! This was suppose to be posted last month but I’m too busy to celebrate KoiTsudu anniversary as well as Mone’s birthday :< To make up for it, here’s a new fic! More requested fics will be posted from today onwards so stay tunned~!

Ever wonder what Tendo-sensei gave Nanase on her birthday? Find out here!

Disclaimer: I do not own KoiTsudu or any of its characters! This is a pure fanfiction.

---

This is bad.

Kairi clicked his tongue and  glanced at the clock at the wall of their office.

For the nth time, Kairi grabbed his phone above his desk and annoyingly scrolled through bunch of websites and online shops.

“Kairi can I---”

Kairi jolted from his seat and quickly averting the phone from anyone’s eyes - it landed with a loud thud, almost breaking the screen.

Kisugi blink at Kairi’s sudden action.

Kairi cleared his throat and sat properly. “Y-Yes?”

Kisugi eyed the phone and back to the unusual Kairi. “Are you… Is everything okay?”

Kairi blinked several times and swallowed. He nodded at him as he tried to calm his nerves. “Yeah. What is it?”

Kisugi mentally shurgged and showed him a file. However, Kairi’s mind drifted back to his problem as he barely listens to what Kisugi is saying.

Meanwhile, Kisugi knows that he wasn’t paying attention at all. He tried to supress his grin and looked at the phone that is now upside down. There’s no use in hiding it for he accidentally saw what Kairi’s  looking at. The moment he saw what’s on his screen, Kisugi instantly knew what is happening.

Kairi had been out of focus since morning that he entered the wrong office. At first, it doesn’t bother him. But when Kairi almost drank the wrong water bottle at the office and called him by his first name, he knew something was up.

Kisugi sighed. “That’s all. Give me a heads up if you found it.”

Kairi nodded, pretending that he understood him. “I will.”

Before Kisugi left the office, he looked back at Kairi and smirked. “Uh… and good luck with that.”

Kairi’s eyes slightly widened as he froze from his seat.

Kisugi gave him a knowing smirk. “You can consult me anytime but I know you prefer to decide on your own so… good luck with that.”

With that, he left the office while humming. Kairi mentally cursed and glared at the door that Kisugi came from seconds ago. That asshole… He clicked his tongue again and ruffled his hair in frustration.

“Oh! Sakura-san! Konnichiwa! Have you eaten your lunch?”

“Ah, not yet. But I’m about to!”

“Is that so? Here, a gift for you. Happy birthday!”

“Oh! What a lovely wrapping paper! Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome! Enjoy your day! Jaa!”

“Yeah!”

Kairi frustratedly sighed from what he just heard outside the office. In a blink, Nanase entered the office with the biggest smile on her face while holding a bento box and the gift she just received from someone.

He glared at the gift.

“Sensei! Sorry for the long wait! Nino wouldn’t let me leave our quarters because he wants us to eat lunch together with Mariko-san, Sakai-san and Nishi-kun.” She carefully placed the bento box above his desk.

“But I told them that I want to eat with you so he quickly let me go.” Nanase giggled. “I have to make up for it soon, though.”

Guilt started to bloom from Kairi. And here he is… still clueless on what he should give her as a present in her very special day.

He tried to hide his emotions by smiling at her and they began to eat lunch together at the empty office.

Kairi had been thinking gift ideas since last week and still hadn’t a slightest idea on what he should buy for her. Food? They always eat together with literally anything that her eyes landed on. Dress? Her dresses are lovely enough and she just told him that her closet will soon explode. Make-up? His sister already gave her bunch of it. Accessories? It’s not an ideal gift for a nurse who works almost 24/7 in a hospital.

Come to think of it… Kairi just knew small things about her.

He doesn’t know her favorite color. Nor her favorite book to read or the kind of food she’s craving for (well, probably because she ate almost anything). He doesn’t know her favorite movie. He’s basically a clueless dumb who doesn’t know about these things.

Just what kind of boyfriend he is to her?

Kairi started to think of self-depreciating thoughts.

“Ah! Tendo-sensei, are you free tonight?”

Kairi was soon out of his thoughts when she suddenly asked. He blinked at her. “Uhh… yeah. I’m free. Why?”

Nanase giggled. “Can we go to the park? I wanted to show you something! But if you’re too tired to do so it’s okay if---”

“---I’ll go.” Kairi quickly interjected. “I’ll go with you.”

Nanase smiled. “Okay!”

This is his last chance. Until tonight, he needs to think of a nice gift. A gift that will reminds her of him. Something that she could treasure. Something that could make her happy.

---

It’s over.

Kairi groaned in frustration and dropped his body on the bench under the sakura tree.

Nothing. He bought nothing. He almost lost his mind by thinking so deeply but he still ended up empty handed. Even the magazine and popular website gave no help and just complicate his useless brain storming.

Suddenly, he caught a sight of a mini cake displayed on a pastry shop just across from where he is sitting.

Cake. Of course. Birthdays aren’t complete without it, right?

With a sigh, Kairi stood up and proceed to walk towards the shop. At the end, he chose the most common gift that anyone could ever give. He really wants something special and uncommon but in this hopeless situation, he would grab any idea that will pop into his mind.

When he bought the cake and was about to leave the shop, he heard a man talking on the corner near the counter.

“I’m sorry. I-I know I should have thought of nicer gift for our anniversary but my mind was too occupied thinking… thinking about you.”

Kairi mentally cringed. What the hell?

“So… would you… would you accept me as a gift instead?”

He supressed the scoff that was going to come out from his mouth and quickly left the shop.

Seriously? What kind of line is that? Is he on a drama or something? What kind of cheesy shit is that… Kairi shook the cringy feeling and sighed.

As he was about to go back to where he is seated awhile ago, he suddenly overheard a highschool girl passing by.

“Yeah! I mean, I received lots of cakes yesterday and he also gave me a cake! I’m not complaining but can’t he think of anything unique and unsual? Oh, but I couldn’t blame him. I guess, he really doesn’t know me and my favorites.”

Kairi froze from his spot as he held the cake from his hand and felt as if a thunder strike him.

“Tendo-sensei!”

He looked at his right side and saw Nanase waving while running towards him.

Nanase looked worried for a moment. “Did I make you wait for too long?”

Kairi shook his head. “No. I just got here awhile ago.”

Nanase smiled and was about to say something when she saw the cake that he was holding. “Sensei… that cake…”

Kairi gritted his teeth and grabbed her wrist gently.

“W-Wait! Tendo-sensei, where are we going!?”

He led her to a less crowded area and let the night breeze greet them when they reached an empty playground. He stopped walking, still has his back towards her as he bit his lip from embarassment.

Nanase blinked. “Sensei?”

Kairi looked up and drew a deepest breath the he could muster before facing her. He opened the box and brought the cake out.

Kairi swallowed the lump from his throat. ‘”Happy birthday… Nanase.”

Nanase’s eyes widened and he could swear he saw them sparkle in amazement as she gaze at the mini cake. The cake was designed with edible sakura petals with a little chibi figure that has two pigtail hairdo with a scarf wrapped around its neck.

She lean toward the cake. “Kawaii!”

Kairi looked away, shy. Nanase stared at the figure. “Eh? Wait. Is this me? This is me, right? This is how I look when we first met!”

She let out a laugh and Kairi can’t help but admire how it sounds.

“Also… I’m sorry.”

Nanase blinked and looked at him. “Hmm? Nande…?”

Kairi sighed and guiltly looked at her. Nanase’s eyes almost widened again from his unusual expression. It seems like he’s not the uptight Kairi that she knows. This side of him… it’s new. It’s new that it makes her heart pound.

“I don’t have any gift for you. I have no idea what to give you. I tried to think for so long but I still ended up with a common one. I…”

Kairi cleared his throat. “But…”

He could feel his chest pound, restless.

“I-I know I should have thought of nicer gift but my mind was too occupied thinking… thinking about you.”

Nanase blushed form his sudden bluntness.

Face redder than a tomato, Kairi looked deep into her eyes nd tried to straightened his voice. “So… w-would you accept me as a gift instead?”

Kairi mentally cursed on how embarassing this is but… it’s an honest question.

No matter how he says that the line makes him cringe all the way from every fiber of his being, it’s an honest question.

He kept on thinking a proper gift for her. Something special. Something that will make her happy. Something that will last forever.

If there’s anything, anyone, that would be him and his love for her.

He doens’t know if he’s special but he could definitely make her happy.

He could make her smile.

And this love, something that they could treasure until the end of time.

Suddenly, like a gust of wind, Nanase’s lips touched his. Kairi’s eyes widened in surprise. He unconsiously placed his free arm around her and pulled her close.

Nanase pulled back gently and looked deeply into his eyes. “Gladly, Sensei. More than anything and anyone, you are the best gift that I’ve ever received.”

Kairi’s mouth slowly formed a wide smile.

Ah… I can’t stop it…

He grabbed her waist and kissed her deeply.

I’m really crazy over you.

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (4)

This part is shorter than I'd like but it felt right to end it here. also trash edits I'm sorry

-

all parts in the master list

Sleep. 

All he wanted to do was fucking sleep. 

The medics cleared Matthew and as soon he was back out on the ice, he made damn sure to get revenge on the asshole that had bodied him. He didn’t do it in a form of physical retaliation though, opting instead to rip the puck from the man’s grasp and score the game winning goal. 

It wasn’t even a home game but there were enough screaming fans present that they probably could’ve blown the roof off the arena. 

The win was incredible, their fourth in a row, but Matthew was tired. Mentally, he was fine, and he didn’t have any serious physical injuries but a hit that hard was going to have anyone feeling incredibly sore and beaten up. 

His sights were set on the hard hotel bed he had to share with someone he didn’t particularly like but the guys weren’t having it.

“Chuky! We’re going out tonight!” 

“You’re going out tonight,” he corrected, “i’m going to bed.”

“Come on, man, you have to come out! Game winning goal! Let’s drink about it!” 

It was the last thing in the world that Matthew wanted to do, but his team wanted him to go and so, reluctantly, he found himself sat at a high top table with a double shot of vodka sitting in front of him. 

“Fuck it, I guess, we won!” 

He threw the alcohol back like it was water and slammed the shot glass down on the table. He hadn’t eaten much that day, his nutritionist would be pissed if she knew, so the liquor was hitting quicker than normal.

“You want another, chuky?”

“You know I fucking do!”

*

The boys had gone out to celebrate and you planned to do the same with a few slight differences. Instead of shots in a loud bar, you stopped to grab a bottle of wine before returning to put on your favorite pajamas and hooking your laptop up to the hotel TV to binge the shitty reality show you were currently all about. 

Hours passed and as soon as you found the bottom of the bottle of your wine, you were ready to pass out. 

“Shit,” you said to the empty hotel room, “need to brush my teeth.”

The amount of wine you’d consumed didn’t hit you until you tried to stand up.

“Fuck,” again to no one, “maybe not.”

Dropping back to the bed and laying there for a minute, you prepared yourself to make the incredibly short trip to the bathroom to brush your teeth. 

“You can do it, you’re a good one! You got this!” 

Launching your body from the bed, you ran to the bathroom and burst into a fit of giggles as soon as you saw your reflection in the mirror.

“Oh my god! I’m drunk!” 

The booming male voice scared the shit out of you, but even in your drunken state, you realized it was Matthew.

“There’s no need to give a girl a fucking heart attack, Chuk!” 

You were halfway through brushing your teeth, toothpaste running down your chin, when you exited the bathroom to see him laying spread eagle on the floor beside the bed.

“Who the fuck is Chuk?”

It was hard to understand, and despite your own inebriation, it was obvious he was too far gone.

“You, idiot.”

“Don’t call me that! You are the one that is the idiot!” 

It was hard to take him seriously when he was rolling around on the floor in front of you, so it was no surprise that he got offensive when you laughed at him. 

“Stop laughing! I’m important!” 

“Oh yeah? To who?” 

“To the Flames!”

“Who is that?”

“What?!” 

He sat up immediately, rocking side to side as he began to explain, “the Flames are my team. I love those guys. We’re going to win a fucking cup!” 

There was something so innocent about his drunken rant. Something so innocent and adorable that you wanted to pull his drunk ass into a big hug. 

You didn’t though. You knew better. The working relationship between yourself and Matthew was hanging by a thread and the last thing you needed was some drunken bullshit making it that much harder. 

“I hope you do win a cup, Matthew.”

“Matthew again,” he whined, “I thought we were past that.”

“Sorry,” you corrected as you hid the smile behind the hand over your face, “I hope you win a cup, Matt.”

“Me too. Fuck!” 

He stood up and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his.

“I really want to win this year,” Matthew purred in your ear. 

What the fuck was happening? Your body was pressed against Matthew’s hard abs and thighs and chest. You didn’t get along until literally yesterday but here he was wrapping himself around you like you had been lovers for years.

“I know, I want you to win too.”

You knew better than to lean into him. Matthew Tkachuk was someone you’d never gotten along with and were still very much on the fence about but feeling the heat of his body against yours had you questioning fucking everything. 

The wine coursing through your system didn’t help. 

“Can we cuddle? I just want to sleep and I want to hold someone.” 

“Someone?” 

It was bold and even though you were drunk you knew it.

“I want to hold you.”

“Okay.”

You fell into bed with Matthew with all the ease in the world. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you as close to him as he could. 

It was drunken debauchery and nothing more. 

*

“Holy fucking shit, my head is fucking pounding.”

“Keep it down, asshole, you’re not the only one.”

You didn’t realize you weren’t alone in bed until you felt the weight of an arm wrapped around your waist. 

Holy shit. There was no way.

Slowly rolling over, you were met with the face of Matthew Tkachuk. His curls were wild and he could barely open his eyes.

“We both drank a lot. Go back to bed. Late practice today, no game.” 

Being in no mood to argue, and also incredibly tired, you took his advice. 

*

Waking up pressed into a beautiful woman wasn’t new to Matthew. 

He felt incredibly sluggish and tired but she wasn’t up so he tried his best to settle back into the bed and move as little as he could. 

Her body was warm and he found himself pulling her waist closer to his own and enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together. It wasn’t until she began to wake up that he realized who he was in bed with. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

They had agreed to be kind of friends but there was no way she would continue to honor that deal with his morning wood shoved into her back. 

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

29. Sweet, sexy and practically fainting

Prompt used- Tickling the other one | implied smut |

" okay stop being a damn beauty queen draco and step into the waters, nothing's going to bite you " pansy rolled her as she looked at Draco through her sunglasses over the bridge of her nose

"I love your determination to send me there but I'm good with sitting here and tanning myself. Besides look at the boys, they've gone absolutely wild " draco sighed as he leant down backward on the sheets, bathing in the sun.

" well I'll go in the waters " Hermione announced as she dropped her robes and walked ahead to the waters.

" see even she went and she's the most uptight women I know " pansy said as she too laid back on the floral sheets

" thought she wasn't so bad anymore " draco said with his eyes closed

" she's great but I'm just saying so you'd actually get up and go into the waters " pansy replied

" nice try pans " draco sighed.

" you guys aren't joining ?" A familiar voice asked besides them. Draco opened his eyes and leant on his elbows to see Harry now standing in front of them

" nah, I'm good being here " draco replied narrowing his eyes because of the sun. Pansy too nodded without looking up at harry.

" well if that's what you want " harry shrugged and started unbuttoning his shirt.

" Ron said waters great, I wouldn't miss it " harry grinned as he dropped his shirt on the sheets and walked away into the waters, letting draco watch him as he walked away.

" just go join him for fucks sake draco" pansy rolled her eyes

" why aren't you going?" Draco rolled his eyes at pansy. She took off her glasses and looked at Draco " because baby, queen never works in the crowd " and with that Draco broke into a fit of laughter.

" I'm sorry but queen " Draco mimicked her voice still cackling to death.

" what's so funny ?" Blaise asked as he started drying off himself.

" nothing, just his renowned self still laughing over an abysmal joke because of the inability of his brain to comprehend when to stop " pansy rolled her eyes

" do tell him pansy, I'm sure even his brain would stop comprehending when to stop " draco chuckled as his laugh started dying out. He glanced behind Blaise into the waters to watch harry rising out of the water, pushing his wet hair back.

" ahem " pansy cleared her Throat smirking at Draco knowingly.

" shut up " draco rolled his eyes at pansy, blushing lightly but he allowed himself to believe it was the sun. And he fell back into the sheets again.

They soon heard someone coming back, mumbling something on their way back something about not getting that thing in her hair. Draco looked up again to find Hermione and Ron joining them, drying off their bodies with towels.

" why aren't you coming ?" Suddenly harry asked appearing out of nowhere ruffling his hair to get rid of water

" eh, I like it here " draco expressed and tried to lay back but harry grabbed his wrist and practically threw him over his shoulder and carried into the waters.

" PUT ME DOWN POTTER " Draco bellowed trying to wiggle free from Harry's grasp

" oh- you want me to put you down-well-"

" don't you dare, harry- no- not the wate- augh " and draco was dropped into the waters as harry cackled looking down at Draco. He gave harry a scowl before he pulled him down too and tickled him.

" for- Merlin- I can't breathe " harry laughed as he fought for air

" yeah- should've thought about it before dropping me into the water " draco raised his eyebrows as he tickled harry further on his bare stomach.

" fuck- staph- I swear- draco please- " harry kicked the empty water almost dying out of laughter

" say you're sorry" draco commanded but harry shook his head until Draco tickled him harder all over his body making him beg draco to stop.

" fu- fuck- fine- sorry- won't-" and with that Draco took his hands off Harry's body. He rolled over in the water, Peeking his head out for air until he gave draco a sinister grin and pulled him under the water's again.

They spent the rest of their time on the beach laughing and rolling in the waters, splashing at each other and making fun of how their hair looked.

" you got Sand in my hair harry" draco groaned as they walked back to other who immediately stopped talking as soon as they came.

" what were you guys talking about ?" Harry asked as he picked up his towel and started drying off his hair.

" nothing, Just talking about tonight's party in the hotel " Blaise smirked. Draco frowned knowing exactly that he lied but Decided to not call him out just yet.

" what time is it ?" Draco asked as he too dried off his hair.

" I think around 8-ish. I might run a bit late, this maniac got Sand in my hair " harry rolled his eyes nudging draco.

" hey- you have a bird's nest. Do you even know how Long it would take for me to get rid of this beach smell alone, let alone the sand " draco rolled his eyes as he casually playfully hit harry over his arms.

" well I was just making you have some fun and you can't deny- you had fun " harry teased

" I was just glad a sea urchin didn't bite me " draco rolled his eyes

" keep covering it all up- anyways- I'm gonna go run back to hotel to get something to eat then meet you all at the party, how does it sound ?"

" sounds good to me " draco frowned. They all nodded at harry, Ron and harry deciding to go with him.

" harry, wait " draco stopped harry

" what ?"

" nothing- you just got a leaf in your hair " draco pulled out a leaf from the back of Harry's head and showing it to him. Harry gave him a sweet smile before thanking him and left.

As soon as harry had left the first thing he heard was laughter, from his friends.

" could you crush anymore over him ?" Blaise laughed

" whatever " draco rolled his eyes blushing and collected his stuff " both of you, die in hell " he pointed at his friends who were mimicking draco and harry and making kissing noises. Scowling draco left the presence of his friends. They were assholes, even if they were right.

After draco had finally taken a long shower and eaten something, he got dressed in his red floral shirt after much retaliation and black pants, he left for the party by 9.

He immediately grew morbid at the amount of people were at the party but this trip was supposed to be for having fun, take a few days away from their work life and so draco made himself adjust to the party and soon enough found his friends chatting by the bar.

" ooh is the Slytherin in red for the gryffindor who took away his heart " pansy teased

" seriously grow up, I wore it because I liked it" draco sighed

" I believe you honey- a glass of champagne and sex on the beach and a gin for the boy " Pansy told the guy behind the counter who nodded immediately and prepared the drinks

" but I don't wanna drink-"

" think you would If you'd see that " pansy pointed to the centre of the dance floor. At first draco didn't notice anything unusual until he saw harry, and not just harry, harry talking with someone, no laughing with someone. A silent jealousy fueled inside draco.

" I don't care- he's at perfect liberty to dance with whoever he wants- as long as I care- that guy's too tall for him " draco turned around and sat down facing the bartender.

" if that's the case then- hi harry " pansy immediately squealed.

" you won't believe, that guy is literally just so perfect for me pansy- thank you so much for setting me up with him- gosh- thanks for the drink " harry excitedly informed, took draco's gin, straight up drank it and left.

" you- you've got to be kidding me- you set him up " draco clenched his jaw at pansy

" don't worry. I know exactly what I've done. Have your drink draco " and with that they spent the larger part of the evening drinking, despite draco's initial rejection, he was drinking awful lot that he had lost the count.

" draco- alright that's enough- drinking won't make it go away " pansy sighed as he pushed away draco's drinks.

" what's up with him? Draco you fine ?" Harry asked as he returned for the fifth time now.

" oh- I'm absolutely smashed it's feels great- have fun with Georgi " draco slurred giving him a lopsided smile

" well it's Joe "

" right- Joe- have fun " draco smacked his hands against the counter.

" woah- "

" I'll take care of him Potter- you go " pansy sighed

" you- you knew and you set him up- why ?" Draco whined almost losing his balance on the stool.

" I- lemon please- I didn't set him up that way alright- you've got nothing to worry about " pansy told him

" nothing to worry about ? He's dancing with another man - " hiccup " how could you ?"

" draco- control yourself- here drink this " pansy pushed a drink at Draco. He looked at the drink wryly before bottomed up and let it have a tingling effect on him.

" better ?" Pansy asked. Draco burped internally before nodding. Feeling a little sober, draco turned to look at harry dancing with Joe again making something clench inside him.

" I have to go-" draco suddenly jumped off the stool

" go where ?" Pansy asked worrisome

" harry. If I don't go now, I will never "

" but-" but he had already made his way into the dance floor and towards harry. He sharply walked towards harry, not thinking even for the slightest what he'd do when he faces him but all he knew he needed to go to harry. He needed to.

And so when he reached harry with Pansy yelling behind him to stop, he grabbed his wrist and turned him around.

" draco- " but Harry's words were caught in his tongue when Draco pressed his lips against harry's and let it devour the taste of gin on Harry's lips. He pulled away as in asking for if harry wanted to step away but everything was happening too fast that harry didn't had time to refuse and pressed his lips against draco's. If jealousy made draco kiss him so phenomenally then harry wanted him to do this everyday because in that one kiss, that one sexy, mouth devouring, passionate kissing, draco hadn't missed an opportunity to make Joe cringe and leave.

" wo- jeez, just inform the next time before you do this " harry smirked against draco's lips, his hands in draco's hair.

" well there wasn't much time but I inform you now " and with that Draco kissed him again with the same passion just more lust as if it was the end of the World and if Draco didn't kiss him how, he never will. In the hot steamy crowd, draco pressed his body more against harry, his hands roaming Harry's chest, making harry moan when Draco lightly brushed over one of Harry's nipples.

" fuck- draco- let's go to the room " harry sighed against draco and immediately grabbed his wrists and lead the way towards his room, but it was more makeout than steps taken. They had to stop at each floor to kiss as if it was an appreciation for reaching this far without pounding on each other.

When they finally reached Harry's room, they wasted no time in making the make out session more cardinal with lust and intensely passionate. The room filled moans as harry pressed draco against the door, feeling draco's boner pressed against harry's thighs. Without thinking, draco started fumbling with the buttons on Harry's shirt until he stopped him.

" you're drunk draco" harry said, a sudden guilt washed over him and he stepped away " fuck- you're drunk- we can't " harry pushed his hair out of his face.

" so what ?" Draco whined closing the distance between them once again to kiss him again but harry stopped him.

" Merlin- draco I've waited long enough for this- but this isn't how I want it to be- I want to take you, need you, god do things to you but not this way"

" then take me harry, I'm all yours" draco whined. Harry chuckled, pressing a soft kiss against draco's forehead.

" say this in the morning and then I promise I'll take you just how you want me to " harry whispered smiling. Draco sighed but didn't bring it up again and soon enough draco fell asleep in Harry's bed.

And as said, the next morning draco woke up and as promised harry had him exactly the way Draco wanted, sweet, sexy and practically fainting.

Requests open

Sorry if this seemed fast

Day 28- I'll catch you | Day 30 - scared, potter ?

[rowan-underthehouse]

Shot Glasses and Shadows

Pairing: Castiel/ Dean Winchester

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 2,011

Warnings: slight self-harm, mention of blood

Additional Tags: hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, Abandon All Hope Coda, Mentioned Jo Harvelle, grief/ mourning

Summary: Dean struggles with the aftermath of Abandon All Hope. Castiel is there to help.

Read it on Ao3 here

It’s the moments between hunts where Dean starts to lose his balance. When there’s no monster to fight, and the adrenaline pounding through his limbs fades away.

There are things he can do to stop it. He can make dinner runs while he tries to list the name of every song he’s ever put on a mixtape, or blast the radio until the speakers crackle, or sprint until his lungs burn. As long as he keeps moving he can fight it off. But as flames lick the glossy edges of the closest thing to a send-off they can give Jo and Ellen, all Dean can do is root his feet to the ground and watch.

He doesn't walk away from the fire until the photograph is reduced to ash. The crumbling of Jo’s gentle features is almost beautiful here. He wonders if Jo could feel the flames in her last moments. If she still believed her death meant something. If it felt beautiful.

“I’m going to clean up.”

“Dean you don’t-” Sam follows his gaze to the cluster of shot glasses still spread across the table, not finding the right words until his brother is already gone. Sam knows better than to follow.

It shouldn’t take him more than fifteen minutes to finish the kitchen, but Dean’s limbs are heavy with guilt and the half bottle of whiskey he’s already downed. He’d expected it to feel different to be back here. Everything warm and homey and right should have burned up with Ellen and Jo, but Bobby’s kitchen somehow missed the memo. This is still the same place they’d laughed and drank and squeezed out smiles around the dread no amount of alcohol could quite wash away just the night before. It’s Dean who’s out of place. He shouldn’t be here, surrounded by a past already so long gone it aches. It’s going to collapse in on him at any second.

The first shot glass that shatters against the hardwood floor is an honest-to-god accident. Dean lets the second roll out of the crook of his elbow, watching with the closest thing to satisfaction he can muster as broken glass dusts his boots. The third, he smashes into the worn countertop. He feels the blood pooling under his palm before he registers the glass wedged there. It brings a sick, bubbling laugh to the back of his throat.

He’s watching the blood run along the edge of a fourth glass, rolling it over in his palm when a hand appears on his shoulder.

“Dean,” The unmistakable crunching of dress shoes on glass pulls Dean back to reality. “You’re injured.”

Dean tosses the shot glass in his hands into the sink, almost disappointed when it doesn’t shatter. He shrugs Castiel’s hand off his shoulder, doing his damn best to ignore how cold he feels at the tiny loss of contact. Cas has that effect on people. That warm sort of feeling that starts deep in your chest and spreads to your fingertips until it feels like everything might be alright. Sam feels it too, Dean’s sure, but it doesn’t seem to be burning him up from the inside the way it does Dean. The relief he feels when Cas grabs his shoulder again is humiliating. He wipes it clean off his face before Cas can turn him around.

“You’re bleeding, Dean,” there’s more force to it this time. Dean stares expectantly, waiting for the feeling of grace stitching the fibres of his hand together, but nothing comes. Cas’s eyes fall to the floor. “I’m...going to get the first-aid kit.”

“So, what? Not going to mojo me back together? Cas, is there something you want to tell me?” He squares his shoulders, taking a step toward Cas. Of course something’s wrong. Not even an angel of the lord could get that close to Lucifer and come out unscathed.

“Because if something happened, something that we should know about, you better spit it out before it gets someone killed,” Dean closes the distance between him and Cas, staring down with what he hopes reads as more malice than concern and waits. Cas should be snapping back at him or threatening to throw him back to hell or something but he’s just standing there, gaze cast at the floor.

“It’s not important. It won’t affect my ability to help in your fight against the devil,” Dean turns away with a scoff just loud enough for Cas to hear. Somewhere deep beneath two hours worth of whiskey he knows he’s trying to start a fight, but he doesn’t care.

Even turned away, Dean can feel Cas’ gaze burning into his back. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to do something useful?” He nods in the direction of the library where every piece of lore they could find is still strewn out on the desk. The words taste bitter on Dean’s tongue, but if it gets Cas to do something, anything, other than stand there and stare straight into Dean’s soul (Maybe literally. Dean hopes not) it will be worth it.

Dean doesn’t turn around until the footsteps have faded from the kitchen. He drops the remaining shot glasses into the sink and kicks Jo’s chair in as an afterthought on his way out the door.

Sam and Bobby are nowhere to be seen, no doubt already tucked away in their respective rooms trying to figure out how to get through the night. Dean doesn't bother asking how they got Bobby up to his old room now that the sofa has been temporarily dragged back to its place in the library. He suspects Cas had something to do with it.

The fire is little more than embers when Cas comes back around the corner, battered first-aid kit in hand. Dean’s stomach churns. He should apologize.

“Throw another log on.”

Again, Castiel fixes him with that stupid, sympathetic, stare and does as he’s asked.

“You’re grieving.”

Dean almost laughs. “Really, Cas? I hadn’t noticed.”

“You shouldn’t try to stop it. It won’t help,” Cas settles on the sofa and unpacks the kit, examining the contents carefully while he lays them out on the end table.

That old rage bubbles up in Dean's chest again. “So what am I supposed to do, huh? Just sit here and moan about it in the middle of the friggin’ apocalypse? We have work to do, Cas. Stow the Vincent Grey crap.”

“Give me your hand.”

He thinks about arguing. About trying again to stir up some kind of fight just to feel something other than hollow for a few seconds. Angry is easier. Safer. But then, this is Cas. He knows every atom of Dean’s body and can recite his earliest memories like the goddamn pledge of allegiance. There’s no point hiding. He lets some of the tension holding up his body seep back into the floor.

Cas is more gentle than Dean can handle. All calloused hands and careful touches that are anything but clinical. Letting him in is frighteningly easy. It’ll be letting him go when he finally realizes the Winchesters and all their problems aren't worth the effort that will be like pulling stitches.

“They trusted me,” It’s barely a whisper, but Dean’s throat closes around the words. “They trusted me, and I led them to their deaths.”

“You did the best you could. They knew the risks,” There’s a strain in Cas’ voice Dean has never heard before.

Dean’s eyes are burning. He can’t bring himself to meet Cas’ gaze until a thumb swipes across his cheek, brushing away the tears there. For once he finds himself thanking god in all his infinite absence that Cas doesn’t realize the intimacy of the gesture “You did the right thing, Dean. You tried.”

There’s a weight to his words that Dean can’t quite pin down, the teary smile plastered on his face making Dean want to either wrap his arms around Cas or make a break for it. He shoots for somewhere near a more reasonable middle.

“Are you uh…” Dean is struck very suddenly by just how bad he is at this, But he has to try. It’s Cas. “Are you holding out okay?”

“Human grief is different. It’s...heavier”

If tearing down heaven brick by brick could pull that weight off Cas, Dean would do it in a second. It terrifies him how far he’s willing to go.

“Yeah.”

The mess of bandages Cas eventually manages to secure around Dean’s hand isn’t pretty, but it’s a relief. He tosses the bloody glass in a trash bin and dries his now clean hands on an embroidered dish towel that may have been colourful twenty years ago. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

He’s halfway to the door by the time Dean swallows his pride enough to say something. “Cas, wait. Have you - eaten anything? It’s been a long day.”

“I don’t eat.”

Dean spends the longest ten seconds of silence in his life wondering if he could bore a hole through the floor with his eyes to crawl into. This may be the dumbest excuse he’s ever come up with, which is not an easy title to win.

“Are you asking me to stay?”

Maybe it’s the whiskey clouding his mind or the idea of spending the rest of the night drinking his way through whatever’s left of his liver alone that finally snaps a cord in Dean. He sinks back into the couch, exhaustion taking over.

“Please.”

With a creak of old springs and cushions creasing just enough for Dean to slide, Cas is back on the couch, a good few inches closer than the last time. Of course, it doesn't mean anything. Cas is an angel. He can’t understand the way the closeness makes Dean’s heart leap out of his chest. But the way he presses his shoulder against Dean’s is distinctly and undeniably human. He doesn’t want to be alone either.

The next few hours drift by in near silence, broken only by offers of whiskey and the occasional non-committal remark. When Dean’s eyes slip closed, his head lolling against Cas’ shoulder, Cas doesn’t try to wake him.

Once Dean does finally open his eyes, it’s with a pounding headache, and his face pressed against the rough fabric of Cas’ shirt. Through the fog of sleep Dean slowly becomes aware of his limbs tangled with Cas’ where they’ve sprawled across the sofa. He’s a split second away from launching himself onto the floor when he registers Cas’ hand resting loosely against Dean’s back. The slow tide of his breathing. He can’t be asleep but Dean’s never seen him this relaxed. His hair is a disaster where it’s rubbed against the arm of the sofa and his coat is more on the floor than his body. He must be meditating or praying or whatever the hell angels do to recharge their heavenly batteries. It would be rude to interrupt him, Dean reasons, and he’ll be awake again within a few hours. There’s still plenty of time before sunrise. A few hours can’t hurt. In the moment before he’s pulled back to a dreamless sleep, Dean swears he catches the shadow of wings cast against the wall, curled around his body.

…

It’s not unusual for Sam to be awake before his brother. He rolls out of bed some time after sunrise, stumbling toward the kitchen before he’s even finished rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He very nearly walks past the tangle of limbs on the couch before Bobby rolls into the room, gesturing for him to stay quiet.

“They haven’t moved since Cas brought me back down here. Let them rest. They need it.”

And they do.

When Dean finally stumbles into the kitchen, Cas having disappeared mere seconds before he woke up, Sam doesn’t say a word about it, just smiles into his coffee mug. It’s good to see someone keeping Dean steady for once, and if Dean isn't ready to admit it yet, that’s a problem for another day.

[foreverf-ckedup]

Dear diary,

I dont know whats going on in my head. My moods are all over the place.

The last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult for me. Ive lost all but 2 friends, my easel fell on my foot and now my foot is all bruised, ive had the heaviest period ive ever had in the last 10 years of periods, my lips have flared up again which has lowered my self esteem, eating has been a struggle, ive drank more alcohol than i should of and sliced my legs up to the point that it hurts to move them in any way.

Looking in the mirror and i cry. I have to have the mirror in my room covered now because i cant stand to see the person staring back at me.

Theres a guy who seems to love my body and my body craves him but im also so ashamed to be naked infront of him. He is so slender and im a blob. I dont think its anything more than sexual between us but that doesnt stop me from overthinking everything he says about my body.

My best friend, i love her so much and she is also going through a difficult time so i feel bad putting my problems on her and the same for her to me, so neither of us have been talking as much as we use too. Im scared im going to lose her. She is so frustrating and stubborn. Can be very blunt but always honest. She has a massive heart and i trust her with my life. We are both a pair of dickheads with mental issues. I wouldnt change her for the world.

This entry is all over the place, im sorry.

My doctors arent listening when i tell them the medication theyve put me on is wrong. Im either not sleeping for days or sleeping entire days at a time. I cry at the smallest of things. Ive barely eaten since theyve switched my meds. Ive lost weight which is what i wanted but for the wrong reasons. I feel like ive lost control of my life and started cutting to have control, how sad is that?

They upped my medication saying it wasnt strong enough and now my anxiety when i do anything, even just laying in bed, goes through the roof. The panic attacks are getting worse and are happening more frequently.

Why wont they listen

Why wont anyone listen

Im literally screaming for help

I feel so alone

So isolated

Im sorry im still so broken

Im sorry

[rocorambles]

I just know Kita, Iwaizumi, Osamu, and Futakuchi love having their girlfriend ride their face

100% All of these men love you riding on their face more than even you like it. Itadakimasu~

Warnings: NSFW

Kita

- You are the one who shyly brings it up to him first. He doesn’t really understand what it is or what the appeal is, but Kita’s always been willing to try anything you ask of him at least once. 

- He lays on his back and patiently waits for you to situate yourself and oh- okay, maybe he can see what the appeal is after all as he unconsciously licks his lips when your glistening pussy is inches away from his mouth, a smell that’s so completely you wafting into his nose

- He immediately gets to work as soon as you close the small distance between your most intimate part and his face and his eyes intensely observe you as he licks and sucks you with controlled and thought out motions, watching for every little change in your face expression and carefully studying every movement of your body as you react to his ministrations. 

- Even when you’re falling apart on top of him as he brings you to your peak, he never stops staring at you, never loses any ounce of his control as he helps you ride out your orgasm. He doesn’t want to miss a single second of the beautiful show you’re putting on for him as your face contorts with pleasure. Only when you almost topple off of him does he slip from underneath you and gently lay you down on the bed beside him. 

- You better believe he’s going to be the one initiating it from here on out. 

Iwaizumi

- Both of you are fooling around in bed when he suddenly pulls away from you and lays on his back. You stare at him confused, but he growls out an order for you to sit on his face and your thighs clench together at the commanding tone of his voice and what he’s insinuating. 

- You’ve barely straddled his face when rough hands wrap around your thighs and forcefully pull you down completely on his face and you wail as he ravenously devours you. He’s eaten you out before, but never like this, never in a position that allows him to literally bury his head in between your legs, never in a position where you can feel his whole face submerged in your juices. 

- Iwaizumi eats you like a man starved in this position and you don’t know what’s moving more, his head as he shakes from side to side trying to dive even deeper inside you with his tongue or your hips as they try to grind and hump your boyfriend’s face despite the minimal give his grip allows you. 

- Will accidentally overstimulate you because he just can’t get enough of your pretty moans and how you’re flooding his face, but even when he realizes you’ve already cum and that you’re well past your orgasm, he might not stop, addicted to making you fall apart over and over again just with his face and mouth. 

Osamu

- The idea came to you when you were just watching your boyfriend eat one day and you saw how his eyes lit up every time he took a bite of something delicious. When you suggest trying it, he’s so eager and carries you off to bed immediately. 

- Osamu loves a good meal, loves good food, and you might just be the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. How could he say no to a five-star meal offered for free? Your face heats up when he says “Itadakimasu” before eagerly diving between your legs, but you don’t have time to be embarrassed when you can’t stop moaning as Osamu eagerly licks every inch of you. 

- This man eats you out like you’re a meal, savoring the taste of you inside and out, dragging his tongue purposefully across your outer lips and swirling his tongue deep inside of you, lapping at your soft, gummy walls. You know he’s only human and that it’s not possible, but you swear you can feel his tongue everywhere all at once. 

- Will loudly slurp when you climax as he tries to drink every drop you release, not wanting to waste even the tiniest speck, and even when you’re whimpering for him to stop, he’s not stopping until he’s meticulously sucked, licked, and drank everything you’ve released.  

Futakuchi

- Honestly, you sit on his face when you get angry at him and just want him to shut his damn mouth for once, but he’s not complaining. Would rile you up purposefully so that you sit on his face. 

- He loves to trash talk, but his mouth is talented for other things than just spewing filth and he’s more than happy to remind you of that over and over again. You always think you’re in control when you get in this position. I mean, you’re literally on top of him, how could you not be? WRONG. 

- You realize your mistake not even a minute in when he already has you brokenly moaning on top of him as he alternates between sucking your sensitive clit and thrusting his wicked tongue in and out of you. You can feel him smirking from underneath you and you angrily try to get off of him, only for the tables to completely turn on you as his wiry arms wrap around your thighs and hold you in place. 

- Will purposefully overstimulate you and won’t stop until you’ve cum multiple times on top of him, until you’re literally slumped on top of him, unable to even hold your body up. And even then he might just keep on going to remind you what happens when you try to “punish” him and dom him. 

- But despite all that, he’ll clean you up and cuddle with you afterwards, giving you all the aftercare you’d possibly want, and it would be so sweet...if it weren’t for the fact that his mouth is back to normal, whispering all types of filth into your ear. You roll your eyes at his usual antics, but you can’t help the small smile that quirks your lips up as you nuzzle into his toned chest. You love him, dirty mouth and all. 

[backtothestart02]

Remember That Night - 3/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Another chap! I hope you enjoy!

...

Chapter 3 - After One Month

Iris sat in class, gazing out the window, daydreaming about nothing at all, and not hearing her name being called apparently. A rough nudge to her right brought her back to the present, and she saw it was Linda that had nudged her. She looked worried. So did the rest of the class. Their professor, however, just looked annoyed.

“Are you with us, Ms. West?”

“I, uh…” She cleared her throat. “Guess I drifted off.”

The professor sighed deeply.

“Yes, I can see that.” He shifted his gaze to Linda. “Ms. Park, maybe you could enlighten us with a riveting answer?”

Iris didn’t know if the answer was riveting or not. She turned her head out the window again and lost herself in the buzz of the city until she felt Linda nudge her arm again, more gently this time, to inform her class was over.

“Ms. West, if I could speak with you before you leave.”

Iris froze and looked to their professor, then to Linda.

“I’ll wait for you in the hall,” Linda mumbled, and left her side.

Their professor waited until everyone had exited, asking the last student to shut the door on his way out, which he did. The silence was deafening.

“Ms. West, do you know why I asked you to stay after class?”

“I have an idea,” she managed, shifting her books higher in her arms.

“Then why don’t you enlighten me.”

She restrained what would’ve been a long drawn-out sigh that would’ve no doubt gotten her in even deeper trouble.

“I wasn’t paying attention in class.”

“Not just today, Iris. But every day since classes started two weeks ago.”

She winced.

“We have our first test coming up next week, and honestly, I don’t know how you see yourself passing it.”

She swallowed.

“Would you like to tell me what’s going on? Your records state that you’re a straight A student. One does not get straight A’s by daydreaming in class.”

“I…”

She debated telling him about Barry, about the break-up, and how it had her so shook up that a month later she was still finding it hard to focus on anything but how her stomach was still twisting inside, her heart still crushed into pieces, her love for him still so strong that she knew she’d take him back in an instant if he were to show up in her life today.

But this professor wouldn’t understand. He would roll his eyes and advise her not to get into relationships that could distract from schoolwork and ruin her academic reputation.

So she opted for something more vague.

“I had a rough end to the summer, Professor. It’s made it difficult to focus on much else. I apologize and will try to do better.”

He eyed her with the suspiciousness of a hawk but did not ask for details.

“You better, Ms. West. Because if I don’t see you starting to pay attention by our next class period, and if you don’t get an A on our first test, I’m going to seriously consider you drop from my class until next semester.”

Her jaw dropped.

“It’s only been two weeks!”

“And you’ll be refunded in full for this class if you drop out by the end of next week. I know the rule is one week in, but I’m willing to make an exception. I’ll even speak to the admissions office on your behalf.”

She didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.

“Your other teachers may be okay with your lack of participation and effort, but I am not. Good day, Ms. West.”

She stood staring at him, as he started to gather his things.

“I trust you know where the door is?”

She swallowed, nodded slightly, and somehow managed to pick her feet up off the floor to make her way out of the room. She closed the door softly behind her, but it somehow sounded so loud and final, like the death of her education was near at hand. And it was all her fault.

“Iris,” Linda whispered from across the hall.

Iris looked up and forced herself to pay attention to her best friend who had waited for her during her summons. Her brows furrowed as she walked over to her.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” she said.

Linda huffed. “As if I’d leave you alone after that monster had eaten you whole.”

She looped her arm through Iris’ and tugged her down the hall till she came easily and they were walking in sync.

“What did he say?” she asked.

Iris finally let her long, loud sigh out.

“Oh, just that if I don’t start paying attention in class and get an A on our first test next week, that I should strongly consider dropping out of his class.”

“No.”

“Mhmm.” Iris rolled her eyes and added, “He even said he’d talk to admissions and make sure I got a full refund on my tuition for the class.”

“How generous,” Linda muttered.

“My thoughts exactly.”

“So, what are you going to do?” she asked.

Iris shrugged. “Find a way to pay attention in class, I guess.”

“You will,” Linda said. “And I’ll help you study for the test. We’ll get you back to your usual self in no time.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Iris trailed off.

Linda didn’t have to ask why. She knew it was about Barry. Iris had told her every delicious, heartbreaking detail about her whirlwind romance with the cowboy that had stolen her heart. She had no problem believing that this was the first time her best friend had been in love with the sullen way she’d been acting ever since she got back. She’d hoped that school would be a distraction for her, a way to focus on something other than her lack of a love life. Apparently that had been the wrong approach. Iris West needed something a little more…direct.

“How about we go out tonight?” Linda suggested. “Get some drinks, flirt with some boys, sing some karaoke…”

“I don’t know, Lin…”

“Why not?” she pressed. “I’ve still got those fake IDs for us made if you want to get drunk. I know you keep turning them down, but-”

“My dad is literally a cop.”

“And your dad is also literally two states away.”

Iris frowned, as if that knowledge made it worse.

“I just want you to let loose, Iris. Forget about…him for one night and just have fun. I miss seeing you having fun. And maybe, maybe, one of the guys you flirt with will be interested in more than just a little flirting.” She winked.

“I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl, Linda. You know that.”

“Iris West might not be, but…” She flipped out the fake IDs she’d been referring to. “Is Sasha Malone?” Her eyes twinkled.

“Sasha Malone?” she sputtered. “That’s-”

“Your alter ego from your dreams, I know. I thought I’d add a little spice to our aliases.”

“Oh, God, Linda, I can’t believe y-”

“And I,” she continued, unthwarted, “will be Lindsey Spic.”

Iris raised her eyebrows, unimpressed. “Spic?”

“Well, it was going to be Spice, but then I thought people probably don’t have that as a last name. It’s too obvious for a fake ID.”

Iris snorted. “You think?”

“Just promise me you’ll come?”

“Linda, I don’t know…”

“We have no more classes today. We can go shopping for sexy dresses, grab some dinner, and then head over to the bar.”

“What if I don’t want to flirt with any boys? Let alone do karaoke?”

Linda smirked slowly. “Trust me, the boys will come to you.”

“And the karaoke?”

“Iris West may not be into singing, buzzed, in front of a live audience, but-”

“Sasha Malone is?” Iris added dryly.

Linda showed her pearly whites, and Iris actually laughed.

“You’re impossible.”

Linda hugged her side.

“That’s why you love me.”

…

An hour into hitting the bar, Lindsey Spic was having the time of her life dancing to one extremely horrible singer amidst the tables by the karaoke stage. Sasha Malone was still staring into her first glass of alcohol that Lindsey had insisted on ordering for her. She had yet to take a sip. It smelled abhorrent.

Lindsey had been right about one thing however. The boys were drawn to her like moths to a flame. She supposed she did look pretty hot tonight. She’d always looked hot, especially when she dressed herself up, and Lindsey had insisted on paying for everything when they went shopping earlier. This was the first time in a long time though that Sasha didn’t feel hot.

Maybe because Sasha wasn’t really Sasha. She was still Iris.

“Woo!” Lindsey sang out, stumbling over to Iris at the bar and miraculously landing on the first stool she tried. “That was some song, wasn’t it?”

“Mmm,” Iris obliged.

Lindsey looked at the untouched drink and frowned, coming across remarkably sober at the sight of it.

“Why haven’t you touched your drink yet, Sasha?”

Iris glanced at it again, felt no yearning to touch it and leaned toward Lindsey before saying under her breath, “Maybe because I’m 19, Lindsey.”

Lindsey clapped her hand over Iris’ mouth.

“Shh! Not so loud!” she whisper-shouted.

Iris pulled her hand away.

“You’re the one being loud,” she informed her, still talking quietly.

Lindsey pulled back. “Oops.”

Iris shook her head. “It smells gross too. I don’t know what you were thinking.”

She shrugged. “I drank mine.”

Iris snorted. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“Sasha.”

Iris turned her head despite herself and found a new drink sitting in front of it. This one looked fruity and half-appetizing with a cherry popped in the middle.

“From the guy at the end of the bar.”

Ugh. Not another one.

But Iris looked anyway and found herself staring at a handsome-looking blonde. Her usual type before Barry. She didn’t feel the attraction towards him she was hoping to, but for some reason his smooth smile and wink didn’t bother her as much as it had with the other boys at the bar. Maybe because this one looked more like a man.

Then she noticed his badge.

“You’re a cop?”

Startled and then embarrassed, the man took off his badge and stuck it in his pocket.

“I’m off-duty.” He held out his hand for her to shake.

“That’s a strange name. I’m leaving.”

“Nooo, whyyy?” Lindsey complained behind her.

Off-duty stood up just as she started to.

“So soon? The night’s barely begun.”

“This one is my plus one.” She pointed with her thumb behind her. “She needs to get to bed.”

“I do not! I am not sleepy!”

Iris looked over her shoulder.

“You will be. Trust me.”

“It was nice meeting you, Off-duty. And thanks for the drink, but I think I’m going to pass on everything but the cherry.”

“You can go ahead and drink it,” he said. “It’s non-alcoholic.”

She froze, worried more for Lindsey than herself.

“It was nice meeting you too, Leaving.”

She couldn’t bring herself to banter back, so she looped her arm through Linda’s and pulled her out of the bar, thoroughly rattled.

“Why are we leaving?” she demanded.

“Because that cop hitting on me could’ve ratted you out.”

Linda frowned. “So why didn’t he?”

Iris frowned too. “I don’t know.”

...

*will be posted on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Contagious

           Your dad, Sebastian, is sick. And your only jobs are to take care of him and not get sick.

-

           You walked the aisles of the grocery store, blindly grabbing everything your dad asked you to get, when your phone rang for about the third time in fifteen minutes. You couldn’t lie. You were getting a little frustrated with your dad’s constant calls.

           “What?” You asked him, sighing as you stopped in the middle of the cracker aisle to let someone through.

           “Can you also get ginger ale?” He asked.

           “I’ll add it to the list. A two liter or cans?”

           “Cans?”

           “Okay.”

           “And can you go to the pharmacy too? They should have something for me that’s slightly…” Your dad’s voice faded into a sneeze. You blessed him, said you’d go, and hung up the phone. He’d been sick for about a week, ever since he’d gotten off an international flight, and nobody was sure of what it was. He was only sure that he had never felt so bad in his life. You’d taken him to the ER, even, and all they’d said was that they didn’t know either.

           An hour later and you’d gone through half of Manhattan, including going to one of his favorite Romanian restaurants to find his favorite soup. His mom would normally come down, but she wasn’t feeling well either and you didn’t want her to get sick. The doctors had said it was very possible for you to get sick, too, but you were all your dad had and you barely ever got sick anyway.

           “I’m back with your drugs!” You called into the house, putting everything down on the kitchen table. You got a can of ginger ale, his food, and carried it along with the medicine into his bedroom, where he was sitting on the bed, legs crossed, blanket around his body, and a box of tissues was right beside him. He was sweating, but he still looked cold.

           “Hey, sweetheart,” your dad said, “thanks.”

           “I got some soup for you, too. You need to eat something.”

           “You’re one to talk. Have you eaten anything all day?”

           “Not really. I ran down to your agent’s office to drop off that contract, then the restaurant, then the store, and then the pharmacy. So no. I’ve been running around for you all day.”

           “Then get a fork and sit with me, I’m bored.” You laughed. Your dad was the worst adult you’d ever met, so much so that your grandmother constantly asked you to watch over him instead of the other way around. You both ate takeout most nights, and then leftover takeout the next day, neither of you ever knew where anything was, you hired someone to clean because you didn’t want to do it yourselves, and you both had no sleeping schedule whatsoever. It wasn’t rare for him just to not wake you up for school because he thought you should sleep a little more. Right now, though, he was the biggest mess in the universe. He’d moved the Playstation into his room and was playing some stupid game that he’d been playing that morning before you even left.

           “Fine,” you said, “what are you playing?”

           “Honestly, I have no idea.” You went into the kitchen and grabbed a fork, walking back into his room. He made room on the bed for you and the two of you ate the food as he continued playing whatever game he was playing.

           Eventually, you started watching a movie and he fell asleep, so you did what any good kid would do. You pushed him until he was lying down, cleared his bed off, turned on a fan, and covered him up with a blanket. You left the TV on, mostly because you didn’t know where the remote was, and you went to bed yourself.

           The next morning, you felt it. Whatever your dad had. It was in you now. You knew because you were sweating so badly that your bed was absolutely soaked. Your muscles were sore, too, and definitely not from walking halfway around Manhattan hunting for everything he needed. You sighed. Maybe you wouldn’t have it as bad as he did. And if he found out you had it, he would blame himself when it was probably your fault. You changed your sheets and grabbed some medication, taking it with a bottle of water, and went to go see what your dad was doing.

           He was in the same place he’d been in yesterday, only he’d evidently made a trip to the kitchen to get more crackers and ginger ale because it was all over his nightstand. He was still on his drugs, blanket pulled over his head, and he looked at you with hollow eyes.

           “You sleep okay?” He asked you.

           “When I wasn’t kept up by you coughing.”

           “I’m sorry, sweetie.” You shrugged and sat down next to him, grabbing the sleeve of saltines and eating a couple. Your stomach had started churning as soon as you had started walking to his room.

           “It’s okay, you’re sick. It’s fine. Just don’t make me go all over the city today?”

           “I’ll order in. You should go do homework or something.”

           “You’ll call me if you need anything?” He gave you a thumbs up and you went back to your room, taking the crackers with you. You doubted he even noticed. But your stomach was hurting just from moving. You had an excuse to stay in your room most of the day, though, so you won that round.

           You spent much of your day like he spent his; you opened your laptop and played the Sims for what was most likely hours. You ate the entire sleeve of saltines and only once got up to steal a can of ginger ale. Finally your dad suggested that you both move into the living room, so you tried to hide the fact that you were sweating out of your mind because of how bad your stomach was hurting by wearing shorts and a t-shirt, even though he always kept the house super cold. You wanted to find a way to sneak off and use the thermometer, just to see if you were actually sick or the food last night had made you that way. Eventually you just said you needed to use the bathroom and hid the beeping noise of the thermometer in your shirt.

           You had a fever. A fever. About the same as your dad’s. 101. A couple more degrees and you would be in trouble, so when you went back you sat closer to the air vent, hoping that it would cool you down a little bit. At least you hadn’t coughed or sneezed yet, you thought, thanking your lucky stars.

           “I actually feel so much better,” your dad sighed finally, about to get up to tune into a meeting he’d called out of earlier. “Thanks for taking care of me, kid.” You nodded, giving him a thumbs up, and tried to hide your clenched fist underneath the blanket. You were about to throw up if you ate or drank anything else. And you had a fear of throwing up. It was one of your least favorite things ever because the last time you’d thrown up, you couldn’t breathe, and then that had sent you into a panic attack where you got sick again.

           “Yeah, you’re welcome,” you said, rolling onto your side. That was a bad idea. That made your entire stomach shift, and not in a good way. No sudden moves, no sudden moves, you told yourself, bracing yourself.

           “You okay?” He asked, looking over at you from the other couch. You shook your head, sitting up, and that made it worse. You ran across the hall, falling to your knees on the floor, and threw your hair to the back of your head. And you threw up. You tried to swallow it down, but that only made it worse. You eventually felt your dad walk into the room, hopefully with some water, and he sat down behind you.

           “I got you sick, didn’t I?” He asked with a sigh. “I heard the thermostat beep but I just thought you were turning it off from when I checked earlier.”

           “Nope. 101,” you cringed, holding onto your stomach like it would make it stop. You threw up once more and then you were done, at least for a little while, and leaned on his shoulder.

           “You’re a fuckin’ mess. You had one job, and that was not to get sick. And what did you do?”

           “I got sick,” you sighed. “Why are you shaming me for…” You gagged again. Your dad handed you a cup of cold water and you drank as much of it as you could.

           “I’m not shaming at you, I’m laughing at you. There’s a difference.”

           “You’re my dad, can you please just take care of me instead of laughing at me?” He actually laughed out loud, helping you up, and handed you your toothbrush.

           “Yeah. Only if you brush your teeth first.” You did what he told you to do and then he was helping you exactly like you’d helped him, even ordering your favorite soup from your favorite place.

           “You know, I wouldn’t be sick at all if you hadn’t gotten me sick.” Your dad playfully whacked the back of your head, causing you to laugh a little bit. You were swaying in the place you were sitting and he chuckled for a second.

           “Yeah, yeah, I know. Lay down before you get motion sickness, I’m not dealing with that.”

           A/N: I’m sorry this is so short! But I hope you like it!

Taglist (if you’d like to be added, just shoot me an ask/dm!): @an-adventureland, @firstangeldragonranch, @ssebstann, @winterreader-nowwriter

[notveryglittery]

we could fall through december

summary: winter made everything so slow. roman didn’t think it fair.  ship: romantic roceit (roman/deceit) / wc: 1,600 warnings: sympathetic deceit, self-doubt/hatred, seasonal affective disorder, emotional outburst. let me know if i need to add anything. a/n: first fic of 2020 and it’s a gift!! feels good, feels organic. hope you like this, @rusted-but-golden <3 

read on ao3 | @fandersfic-roceit​

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  — 

Roman wondered what it was keeping him from getting out of bed.

Was it the “loss of interest?” Maybe it was the “sleep deprivation.” It just as well could have been the “lack of concentration.” Knowing his luck, it was all of the above. It was every symptom Google had listed, the apathy and the mood swings and the fatigue. He had so many things to do. There was plenty of time to do them. It was barely even noon yet which meant he had the entire day to finish the projects he’d started…

The clock flashed mockingly at him, reading 3:27. The projects he’d started had been ages ago. He couldn’t remember the last time he had picked them up. He wasn’t even sure what the date was.

Roman rolled over, burying his face into his pillow. It made breathing unnecessarily difficult. Kind of like how everything else was unnecessarily difficult. Like, why couldn’t he just kick the blankets off and get his feet on the ground? He was a prince! He was a knight! He was tough, self-assured, resilient! He had faced monsters larger than this. He faced blows to his ego like this daily.

Why did the lack of sunshine make so much of a difference?

Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have plenty of sunshine in his life already! Patton himself might as well have counted as one’s regular dose of vitamin D. Sometimes, Roman was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of Virgil’s smile or to hear a rare but treasured laugh from Logan. Those alone ought to have been enough to combat any gloomy day.

Finally lifting his head, Roman narrowed his eyes, squinting out the window. Not to mention, Thomas lived in Florida! The Mindscape should have reflected that. They barely had winter! It was more like extended fall. It didn’t even snow or rain (save for their consistent 3pm storm that lasted no more than an hour every day). Sure, the sun was obscured often by cloud cover but… well, it was still there! He had no excuse to be all mopey and sluggish just because the temperature had dropped.

…

Maybe he ought to just take a nap. Roman blinked, hard, and released a frustrated groan. With more effort than he’d care to admit, he lifted his arm and scrubbed the heel of his palm against his eyes, which had, quite rudely, begun to burn suddenly with tears. This was so stupid! Forcing himself to sit up felt like a herculean task, but he shoved the covers away and reached blindly for his bedside table. Instead of grabbing a tissue, though, his uncoordinated movements instead just knocked the box of Kleenex to the floor.

“Oh, come on!” He snapped, choking back a sob.

A knock sounded at the door.

“I’m busy,” he called back, without hesitation.

“You’re lying,” responded the visitor.

Roman muttered a curse under his breath. Any other day, he’d be delighted to see his beloved. As it were, he’d been avoiding Deceit just as much as he’d been avoiding everyone else. Was it a good idea to isolate himself when there was a figurative (might as well have been literal) storm cloud hovering over his head? Of course not. Not like he ever had any good ideas to begin with, anyway.

“Roman,” Deceit purred from the other side of the door.

“Fine, fine,” Roman sighed, unlocking the door with a halfhearted snap of his fingers. “Come in, then.”

At least Deceit’s arrival had distracted him from crying any more. Running a hand through his hair to try and tame his bedhead, Roman watched as Deceit let himself in. He closed the door gently behind him. He looked as exquisite as always, not a hair or thread out of place. He was carrying two containers.

“Move over,” Deceit said, seating himself on the mattress without waiting.

He set the tupperware down and turned to Roman. His eyes scanned over Roman’s face. A lot of good his poker face did him when Roman was intimately aware of every one of Deceit’s expressions and facial tics by now.

“Hi,” Deceit said softly.

“Hey,” Roman replied, muted.

Roman shifted, pulling the sheets more tightly around his waist. God, he hated winter. It was so cold. He didn’t even have the energy to conjure a space heater or electric blankets.

“Brought you lunch,” Deceit offered, picking one of the meals up and prying the lid off.

The container was full of grilled cheese sandwiches, cut into hearts. Roman looked at Deceit, unable to resist grinning a little bit.

“Patton insisted on helping,” Deceit grumbled.

Roman reached for the other and found it filled with tomato bisque. It was warm in his hands. Without a care in the world, he lifted the bowl to his mouth and drank the soup straight from it. His arms ached doing so but damn if it didn’t taste good.

“There are spoons, you know!” Deceit said, scowling.

Roman licked his lips. “Sorry.”

They ate in relative silence after that. Sometimes they took turns dipping the grilled cheeses into the soup. At one point, Roman shyly held up one of his half-eaten heart shaped sandwiches and Deceit rolled his eyes as he held his own half up against Roman’s. Deceit would talk occasionally; about Virgil and Patton taking up the living room for a blanket fort that no one else was allowed in; about Thomas and Joan’s latest additions to Reasons to Smile; about the debate he and Logan had recently regarding whether or not Pluto was a planet.

“Did he end it with viva la Pluto, fuck you?” Roman asked, reaching forward to… His fingers twitched and he pulled back, looking away.

“Of course he did,” Deceit answered. He waved a hand and the containers disappeared. A heated blanket appeared in their place. “Come here, then.”

Roman hesitated. Deceit twirled a finger in the air, changing into comfy loungewear. The next movement was directed at Roman, whose pajamas were replaced with clean ones that smelled just slightly of lavender. Deceit shoved the blanket into Roman’s lap.

God, again with the stupid tears—

“Shh,” Deceit hushed him, hands coming up to cradle Roman’s face gently. “I know. It’s okay.”

“It isn’t,” Roman croaked, allowing himself to curl his fingers around one of Deceit’s wrists. “I’m supposed to be str… stronger than this.”

“Is Patton weak when he has his Days?”

“Of course not,” Roman defended, vehemently.

“Surely, Virgil is when he panics over the tiniest of things.”

“He isn't!”

“Then why, Roman, would you think yourself weak for this?”

“It’s just a lack of sunlight,” Roman scoffed, dropping his hand to his lap, where he proceeded to pick at his chipped nail polish. He tried to turn away, tried to break their locked gaze. He was pathetic enough without having to see Deceit’s pitying expression.

“Ro,” Deceit interrupted those thoughts, tone scolding. He let Roman go, knowing better than to keep his hold when it wasn’t wanted. “Logan’s with Thomas right now but don’t think for a second that I won’t call him here if that’s what it takes.”

“We’re not going to bother him with this—”

“Bother?”

“You know what I mean!”

“Actually, I don’t,” Deceit disagreed, sneering. He hated when it came to that. “Why don’t you explain it to me?”

“The first result for "things people also ask" when you search for seasonal affective disorder is whether or not it’s real,” Roman snapped. “And I’m not real, not technically, so how can something like seasonal fucking depression affect me!”

Roman gestured towards the floor to ceiling windows that comprised one wall of his room. The sky was bright blue. “Even if it did, I have complete control over the Fantasy Realm. I could just pop in for a few hours of basking in the sunshine and I’d be all better! I can’t even do that, though!”

“Dearheart, you know vitamin D in the Fantasy Realm would work just as well as hugs and food do.” Deceit tried not to think about the last time Roman had forgotten this. It’d been… frightening, to say the least.

“They literally have lamps that do the same thing but go off I guess.”

“Alright.” Deceit said abruptly.

He grabbed the heated blanket and draped it over Roman’s shoulders. Then, with perhaps more force than necessary, he pushed Roman back down onto the pillows.

“Hey!” Roman shouted, not appreciating being manhandled, thank you very much.

Deceit didn’t answer and instead just sprawled himself on top of Roman’s chest. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but whenever you start to talk bad about yourself, one of the reasons is because you’re touch-starved.”

“I am not—!” Roman would have finished his sentence if Deceit hadn’t buried a hand into his hair and scraped his nails along his scalp. Goosebumps erupted on his arms and at the back of his neck. “That…” Roman’s eyes slid shut. “That is cheating.”

“We’re not done talking about this,” Deceit promised, carding his fingers through Roman’s locks. “Right now, though, I think you could just use some physical affection and a nap.”

“I’m…” Roman sighed, melting under Deceit’s gentle touches.

“Hmm?” Deceit hummed, shifting so that he was a bit more comfortable and so that Roman could still breathe easily. “What is it, my articulate amor?”

“M’sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Deceit insisted, leaning up just close enough to press a kiss to Roman’s jaw. He tucked his face into the crook of Roman’s neck.

“... Okay,” Roman agreed haltingly. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you, your highness. Rest now.”

Whatever Roman had wanted to say was overtaken by a huge yawn. He shuffled as best he could further under the blankets, warmth wrapped around his shoulders and laid reassuringly on top of him. The idea of returning to this discussion scared him more than he thought it ought to but… He supposed he could work through it if he had someone so secure and patient like Deceit to help him.

[the-l-spacer]

(Ch 1) (Ch 2)

Summary: Lloyd wakes up one morning to discover that, on a whim, the Metaverse had decided to release him and Raven from the Lovers archetype they had been locked in for as long as either could remember.

In the process, however, reality became… just a little screwed up.

Now, Raven is gone, and in his place is David Adams. David Adams, who had never left Ashland, working middle-management at Justacorp. David Adams, who had never heard the anvils, never jumped off Warner's Peak.

But Lloyd remembers everything, and he makes it his personal quest to win back the love of his life.

...No matter how many 'strictly professional' coffee dates it took.

I started a (hopefully) multi-chapter, Raven-kind-of-has-amnesia fic! Title and everything's still very much a work in progress, and this chapter is more an introduction than anything, but I hope y’all enjoy reading anyways!!

- 

The last thing Raven says to Lloyd before he (quite literally) vanishes the next morning is a semi-conscious, “Good night, my love,” mumbled into the latter’s chest as they both fall asleep.

Not that he knows of his boyfriend’s disappearance just yet, of course. For now, Lloyd Allen is asleep. Well, half-asleep, roused from a dream he can no longer remember by a rather odd sensation in his chest, a sensation that he promptly attempts to shake off, willing himself to sink back into slumber. 

He succeeds with the former, though the Metaverse always finds other ways to keep him from the latter.

This time, it’s the mid-morning sun that does it, filtering in through a gap in the bedroom’s curtains, casting a single, warm beam of light across the bed. When the light reaches his face, Lloyd shuts his eyes tighter, burrowing deep under the covers.

“Mmmmfgh,” he groans. “Ravey, draw the curtains.”

When he doesn’t feel the responding shift in the mattress, nor hear the sounds of curtains being pulled, shielding his precious eyes against the sun, his half-conscious mind is consumed by halfhearted annoyance. He really didn’t know what else he expected, considering Raven was always the heavier sleeper.

Eyes still closed, he stretches out his arm, meaning to rouse his (presumably) unconscious partner. Instead of feeling Raven’s telltale warmth, however, his hand connects with nothing but an empty expanse of bed.

Fully awake now (and against his will, too), Lloyd sits up and stretches, preparing to give Raven — probably up and outside without having the decency to give his boyfriend his precious five minutes extra sleep — a good telling-to. He swings his legs to the edge of the bed, and at long last, gets up with a final, drawn-out groan.

He first realises that something is decidedly off when that strange feeling in his chest returns full-force as he’s brushing his teeth.

“This again?” He aims the question, garbled through foam, at his sleepy-eyed self in the mirror.

Spit, rinse, close the faucet, done.

He regards his reflection once again. “No response, hmm?”

More silence.

“Well, I’ll just have to work this out for myself. No thanks to you, and no thanks to Ravey, apparently. I have no idea how he’s up before I am.”

He goes through a mental list of everything that could have possibly gone wrong. Heart attack? No, there would be other accompanying signs. Some other heart condition? Impossible, at least not if the folks who built his body on the Singularity had anything to say about it.

Anxiety? It is a possibility, but what does he have to be anxious about? Compared to where he was a scant year ago, his current position of ‘Carnival Co-Runner, Trainer of One Not-So-New-Now Post-Human, and not to forget, Possessor of an Actual Living, Breathing, Positively Spry Human Body’ is downright enviable.

Perhaps it’s simply dehydration, he decides. He and Ravey did have quite a bit to drink the night before, nothing a quick trip to their small, cosy kitchen couldn’t solve. Plus, he hasn’t quite ruled out the anxiety option. Maybe, in the haze of alcohol and festivities (yesterday being their time-is-fluid-th pre-anniversary, and all), his boyfriend had talked about pulling yet another zero-gravity, hair-whitening stunt. He swears to question him once he finds him, probably in the kitchen nursing his morning hangover over a cup of strong coffee.

But when he doesn’t. When all telltale signs of life in the kitchen — the smell of cooking, of roasting coffee beans, of a chair askew or messy countertops — are simply nonexistent, that’s when Lloyd knows that something is very, very wrong.

Because the kitchen isn’t just empty, it’s as if no one but him had occupied it ever since its construction. There is one, lone kitchen chair tucked neatly at the table, a single mug, one set of silverware, and when Lloyd dashes back to the bathroom to confirm that he isn’t just hallucinating, one toothbrush, his own.

It isn’t just these rooms either. The living room coffee table, which Lloyd is certain would be filled with bottles and wine glasses in the wake of the previous night, is completely empty, and gone from various surfaces are the framed photos of him and Ravey at the carnival, at the Second Playhouse’s opening night. Even their wardrobe isn’t spared, devoid of the violent splash of purple brought by his other half’s various coats, vests, dresses, shirts and heels.

The sensation of wrongness doubles in intensity, made worse by the rapid thump-thump-thumping of his heart. Lloyd’s shaking knees give way, depositing him onto Raven’s side of the bed, cold and bare.

It is then he finally realises exactly what he’s feeling. The sensation is his heart is emptiness, something alien to him ever since he had gotten his body back and returned home to nothing but light and love (and a near-death experience, though that was an accident and hardly counted), even the memory of his hilariously disastrous homecoming sending another icy knife through his chest.

Raven is gone. With it, a piece of himself has been ripped away, and all Lloyd feels is empty.

- 

The rest of his morning is spent in a daze, running around the carnival, asking every worker, Floozy, honorary Floozy and Hell Hag he passes if they had seen his boyfriend. 

“Nope, sorry Lloyd.”

“Haven’t seen him. Isn’t he usually with you?”

“Sorry sugar, No sign of Raven Baby ‘round here just yet.”

A flurry of activity — people setting up booths, clearing the last of the previous day’s detritus, cranking the ferris wheel in preparation for the guests who would arrive from wherever the Carnival decides to park itself for the day — swirls around him, but Lloyd registers none of it. He runs and searches every corner of the place, until his hunt takes him to the last stop, Han Mi’s trailer.

Han hears the feeble knock on her door, and decides not to say anything when she opens it to a panting, wild-eyed Lloyd, who promptly proceeds to wobble past her, collapsing onto her couch, head in his hands.

“Okay, so you didn’t remember to take your shoes off before coming in, I assume you’ve got bad news.”

Through the gap in his fingers, Lloyd mutters a soft, “Shit. Sorry, Han,” before kicking his shoes off and toward the half-open door. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Han sighs, and slides a chair over, taking a seat opposite the man. Not beside. They aren’t quite there yet. 

A brief moment of silence passes, before Lloyd speaks up. “This is probably an exercise in futility, but. I don’t suppose you’ve seen Raven around this morning, have you?”

Letting out a sympathetic whistle, Han says, “No dice, sorry. I woke up, like, fifteen minutes ago, and I think I’d know if Raven was in my trailer. He isn’t with you or the Floozies?”

Lloyd deflates, letting his head fall backward to rest against the wall behind him. Addressing the ceiling, he says, “He very much isn’t. I checked everywhere, and this was my last stop.”

“Maybe he’s running a quick errand in another narrative,” Han offers.

“No. It’s not just that Raven’s gone from the carnival, he’s.” Lloyd scrubs a hand across his eyes, and rests his gaze on her. “He’s vanished completely. All his clothes, his personal items, his photos. It’s like he had never even existed.”

“Wait. What?” Han Mi’s eyes go wide. “Does everyone else know about this?”

“They only know that I can’t find him. You’re the first person I’ve told about… the rest. And there’s more.”

“Wait. Before you tell me, have you eaten yet? Drank anything? You look like a wreck… no offence.”

“None taken, and no, I haven’t. There hasn’t been time to, with,” Lloyd vaguely gestures, “everything that’s been happening.”

“Well, if he’s really up and disappeared, a little time taken to catch your breath couldn’t hurt, could it?” Sure, she was still mad at the shit Lloyd pulled as the writer for the Cabaret, but she didn’t hate him. And she knew painfully what it was like to lose someone she loved.

Lloyd begins to protest, but Han silences him with a glare. She’s persuasive like that.

“Are we doing carrot cake?” He manages feebly.

Han nods. “We’re doing carrot cake.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Forever- Utter Nonsense Drabble... 40 Questions!

Yeah so don’t ask me where this came  from, but I saw these floating around and for some reason decided it would be funny if Steve and Katie answered  some of them instead of me...

I think the original post was from @odaatlover​  and I think I was taggeed by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​. Anyway, I took my favourite ones and this was the result...enjoy!

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

Katie: I’d kinda like a tiger. They’re so graceful and  pretty but pack a mean bite and you wouldn’t mess with one would you?

Steve: Who does that remind you of?

2. Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Steve: (grinning) Nothing.

Katie : I can confirm that is also my favourite thing he sleeps in...

3. What song really gets you going?

Katie: In what way? If it’s to dance and just act like a crazy fool to then its always going to be “Back in Black” because it reminds me a lot of Tony and happy times growing up. But if its one to spark memories then its our wedding song.

Steve: “The Only One In Color” by Trapt. I also kinda like the John Legend song  “You and I” because it reminds me of her, you know, the bit aout trying on every damned out fit she ownes before we can go out.

Katie: I don’t do that.

Steve looks at Katie, eyebrow raising.

Katie: Ok, maybe I can be a little incecisive....but tha wasn’t really the point of the...you know what, never mind. Next...

4. Where do you usually eat your meals?

Steve: It depends. If its breakfast or lunch dring the week then it’s usual eaten on the go whilst we’re getting the kids sorted or I’m in between classes...but dinner, well we always try and sit down. And at weekends we always eat at the table with the kids. 

5. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Katie: Dinner. During the week Steve and I eat a little bit later than the kids so we have that time to ourselves just to decompress and talk about our day, have a bit of us time...and at weekend we’re al together so I love it.

Steve: I love it for all those reasons, and also because she’s the best damned cook on the planet.

6. Most embarrassing habit?

Katie: Erm...

Steve: It’s pretty embarassing when you throw a Brat tantrum about something.. Katie: I don’t do that in public.

Steve: Bullshit. I refer you to the whole car purchasing situation a few years ago.

Katie: Jamie was only a baby...I was hormonal.

Steve: Hormonal my ass, you were being a brat.

Katie:  Whatever.  Yours is definately the need to stand with your hands on your hips and give someone your Captain look, especially when it’s someone you have never met before but they just happen to be doing something to piss you off.

Steve:  I make no apologies for this.  People can be idiots.

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

Both at same time: Chocolate.

Steve: Preferably British.  Cadbury’s to be specific. I got a taste for it when I was in London during the war.

Katie: He has a secret stash he hides from the kids...it’s great to blackmail him with.

8. Soft or hard tacos?

Steve: Soft

Katie: Hard

Steve: Although hard ones always remind me of when you went into labour with Jamie.  We were making them for lunch and you had a contraction and crushed one...

Katie: Oh yeah, maybe soft in that case...because that was painful.  And then I went throguh that another 3 times.Which is your fault.

Steve: I take full responsibility, yes. 

9. Worst way to break up a fight?

Katie: Walk into the middle of it and say “Prove it, put the hamer down...” Steve: sighs, That was one time.

Katie: And it levelled a forest.

Steve: Did it work?

Katie: Hmmm, suppose so.

Steve: There you go ...but if its a fight between us, the I can think of the best way to break it up...

Katie : grinning, yeah...that’ s pretty funny. Or the worst one is telling you you’re in the spare room.

Steve: Yeah...that sucks.

10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

Katie: Putting on deep voice “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?”

Steve: Sighing  I wish I had some smart reply to that bu I don’t...

Katie: No, you just threw us out the side of the damned thing from 14 storeys up

Steve: 19

Katie: That’s...that’s not better Steve.

11. Any hidden talents?

Steve: Not so much hidden really but I’m not a bad artist and Katie’s singing and piano playing is off the scale.

Katie: Steve’s really good at DIY. Like, brilliantly good.  And also pretty savvy with technology all things considered...

Steve: When you say all things considered you mean because I’m like 112

Katie: Actually, you’re like 127 if you count the 15 years you spent back in time after putting the stones back.

Steve: hesitates I thought you said they didn’t count because I didn’t spend them with you.

Katie: They don’t, but they still happened.

12. Socks or bare feet around the house?

Steve: Socks

Katie: Bare feet

Steve: Neither of those protect you from standing on lego, which for the record, I reckon has to be a pain worse than chilbirth.

Katie:  Seriously? You’re going there?

Steve: Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but it still hurts like hell.

13: Favorite board game?

Katie: Monopoly. Its funny to watch Emmy and Jamie getting really agitated and annoyed. The younger 3 don’t really get it, Rori just likes to help Steve by sorting all his money into piles and suggesting things he can spend it on.

Steve: Namely tutus and tap shoes...she still wants to be chorus girl.

14:Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Katie: Oh my God. Steve is a nightmare as he runs hotter than any of us, so whilst we want the fire or heat on he’s complaining he’s boiling hot all the time. Our bedroom is like an ice block.

Steve: Doll, I’ve been in an ice block. Trust me, our bedroom is like a furnace in comparison.

Katie: It si nice though, like sleeping with a big hot  water bottle.

15: At what age did you first have alcohol?

Katie: I’m sure Tony gave me beer when I was 15 or something but the first time I ever got drunk was aged 17. I went to a keg party at one of my friends and I was aboslutely shit faced. Tony held my hair back whilst i puked my guts upt for a good hour once I was home. I had the hangover to end all hangovers the next day and he cracked JARVIS up to maximum volume just to teach me a lesson.

Steve:  I think I was 18. Me and Buck drank a bottle of his dad’s home made hooch...yeah, it didn’t take me much to get me drunk back then and I was very, very illl. Ma thought I had a fever. Mr Barnes thought it was hilarious, but still gave us both a slap upside th head...

16. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

Katie: I would say my wedding dress, but Tony bought that for me, so it would probably the the dress I wore to the  SIP Launch for The Color Of Revenge...that cost...well it was in the tens of thousands

Steve:  Blinking How much?

Katie: You don’t need to know.

17. What do you typically wear to formal events?

Steve: Whatever my gal tells me to.

Katie: And you always look great Soldier.

18. Favorite memory?

Steve: Oooh, other than when we adopted Emmy or the kids were born, I’d have to say when Katie agreed to be my wife. I’ll never forget that day as long as I live.

Katie: Me neither, not least becase I got my camero...

Steve: rolls eyes.

Katie:  Joking aside, yeah the engagement sticks in my mind but I think it was when you finally kissed me for the first time. I knew then that I was never gonna let you go.

Steve: yeah...that...ok you know what this is an impossible question after being together for so long.

19. Favorite shoes?

Katie: I have a pair of sparkly gold Jimmy Choo stilettoes that I’ve had for ages. They’re gorgeous, with ankle straps and pointed toes. I’ve had them for almost  17 years but they’re amazin.

Steve: grins. Yeah, they’re my favourite shoes too...

Katie: Pervert.

Steve: I’m not even gonna deny it. Those shoes ALWAYS stay on if I can help it.

20. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Both start to laugh hysterically.

Steve: Where do we start?

Katie: New York, Washington, Sokovia, Lagos, Leipzig, Siberia, Wakanda, Upstate and proablly a whole load of other places in between could be good places Stevie.

Steve: Yeah, this...I can’t answer this. 

21. Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

Katie: I was 7 when my parents died but taking Tony as surrogate, I reckon him catching us in the kitchen when we were...you know, and he didn’t actually know about us has got to be up there.

Steve: Yeah, that was pretty bad... although my Ma once caught me and Bucky measuring our... looks down.

Katie: splutters What? You never told me this?

Steve: Well its not exactly somethign that crops up in conersation sweethheart? “Oh by the way, once when we were 16 me and Buck compared sizes...” Katie: Blinks. Boys are strange. So who had the biggest...

Steve: Next question...

22. Last time you had an orgasm?

Both grin.

Steve: Last night 

Katie: I can confrim this...there’s not many nights to be fair where we don’t...

23: Celebrity Crushes?

Katie: grins. Does Bucky Barnes count?

Steve: Fuck you.

24: Makeup or natural?

Katie: Normally I just wear a bit of tinted moisturiser and mascara, now I have the kids anyway. I don’t have time to really do my face in a morning. I’ll make the effort when we go out though...

Steve: You don’t need it honey.

Katie: Awww thanks baby.

Steve: Although that red lipstick you wear, the bright red..yeah...I like that... grins wickedly and winks It smears well...

Katie flushes: dirt bag

25. Favorite season?

Katie: Summer. Growing up in Malibu I like the sun and warmth.

Steve: Fall. It’s an artists dream...the colours and textures are amazing to work with

Katie: Fall is rubbish. Everything dies and it’s a bit shit.

Steve: But you make apple pie and get to snuggle in my sweaters.

Katie: literally the only 2 things good about it. 

26. Are you a competitive person?

Katie snorts and looks at Steve

Steve: I’m not even going to deny it. 

Katie: He even refuses to let the kids win a games sometimes.

Steve: Important life lessons, Doll. 

27. First pet you’ve ever owned?

Katie: My goldfish Flounder, the one that Tony replaced about 8 times. Other than that it was my Turkey Marv, he was ace.

Steve: I didn’t have any growing up so mine would be Lucky. He was a great dog. 

28. Favorite pasta dish?

Steve: Mac and Cheese, specifically Katie’s. It’s amazing.

Katie smiling: Yeah  I like Mac and Cheese, but I also enjoy carbonara.

29. Favorite kind of pizza?

Both: Pepperoni.

Steve: New York Style.

Katie: I like Deepdish every now and then.

Steve: It’s not the same...

Katie: well dur, that’s the point.

Steve: Yeah, not convinced. 

30. Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

Katie: Handful of close friends, without a doubt. They become an extension of your family, you know. All of us in the Avengers were close and when you have that bond, you’ll do anything for one another.

Steve: Agree completely. When you’re close like we all are then it makes everything that little bit easier, knowing that whatever you’re facing you’ve got each others 6.

31: Something that ruins your appetite?

Katie: Narrows eyes Whenver I see Ross on Tv. Makes me want to puke.

Steve: You really should let that go you know?

Katie: Never. I hold a grudge very well.

Steve: Don’t I know it.

32. Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Steve: I’ve never been one for big nights out. I enjoy the odd one now and then but, I’d much rather curl up on the sofa or round the firepit with Katie or Sam or Bucky with a beer and some decent talk.

Katie: Yeah, at one time I would have said night out hands down, but certianly since having the kids, or even since we started dating, it’s definately change my ideas a little. Some of the nicest nights we’ve had have been spent on the sofa.

Steve grins: yeah...

Katie: And not just because of that....

33. Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

Steve: I’ve only ever told one girl I loved them and she’s sat right here, and I said it first that night...

Katie: smiling Yeah, yeah you did. I wasn’t far behind though, like 3 seconds or something.

34. Have you ever had sex on the first date?

Katie: Does a one night stand count as a first date? Because if so then yes...

Steve: Same.

Katie: Lottie?

Steve: Storm?

Both look at one another,  teasingly.

Katie: Ok next question...

35. Heroes or villains?

Steve: Some people might say there’s a fine line between the two. Katie: Oh here he goes, getting all Captain Philosophical again...look, everyone knows we were suposedly the heroes Steve, and to be fair we saved the world a fair few times, we were even fighting in the shadows during the Nomad years.

Steve: I know, I know...

36. How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

Steve: You know I’ve never actually counted.

Katie: You did 20 at the last brunch we went to.

Steve: 20...that’s...impressive.

Katie: smirking Bucky did 22

Steve: sighs Of course he did...

37: Favorite dessert?

Steve: Apple pie, preferably Katie’s

Katie: Pecan pie. Hands down. 

38 Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

Steve: Ooh, that’s..i suppose it depends. I do like a good TV series, especially if we can curl up and binge watch once the kids are going to bed but I do have fond memories of us working through the films on my list...

Katie: smiling, yeah we had a lot of fun. Still

39. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

Steve: I love telling Katie how beautiful she is, and what a wonderful mother she is...all of which is true.

Katie: I like to remind Steve that he’s my Steve Rogers, not Captain America...because he is. And he’s the most amazing man on the planet, with or withouth that serum coursing through his veins. Which is what makes him the best dad the kids could wish for.

40. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Steve: smiling,  she’s sat right next to me.

Katie: smiling , back at ya soldier.