#i literally don't talk to anyone in this house all day
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ziekaramaik · 1 day ago
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Before You Jump, Tell Me What You Find
(Word count: about 1700)
(Sorry for the wait. Wasn't sure I'd continue it at all, but @shadybisexualpirate and @psychicsolanum asked for it. Also, @maro0on and @ssherbet-shares )
It had been a week since I was at William's house. Mr. and Mrs. Kaplan seemed happy to see me again. I guess the no-visitors-while-grounded rule was less strict after the first week.
Or maybe it was never a rule and William was just using it as an excuse to avoid me. But I didn't ask or start an argument. We were already past that.
We left the door to his bedroom open a crack, as usual. William pulled out his desk chair for me, and he took the bed. We sat down facing each other.
I'm no mind reader, but I knew exactly how he was feeling. The awkwardness was written all over his face. "I guess I should start with--"
"Can I say something first?" I interrupted.
"Of course."
"I was kind of being a hypocrite earlier," I admitted. "You know, about how boyfriends shouldn't keep secrets. There are things I don't talk to you about. And that should be okay -- everyone deserves a little privacy."
"I totally agree," he said eagerly. "And I've tried to respect your privacy as much as I can, I promise--"
"Let me finish… I'm not trying to be the possessive type of boyfriend that makes you tell me everything you do. I was only upset earlier because it felt like you were ghosting me. Now something obviously happened to you that day. And it's still bothering you. But I'm not forcing you to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm only asking 'cause I'm worried. And… I can't shake the feeling that you're getting involved in something dangerous."
He listened to me, and he nodded. "You're not wrong. I wanna tell you, it's just hard. A big reason I haven't told anyone is because it's all so unbelievable. Like, seriously, Eddie. It is literally crazy. But then again… We live in a world after The Snap, and with the Avengers, and Norse gods, and all that. So…"
He looked at the tiny opening at his door, double-checking that his parents weren't listening outside. And then he softly said, "The first thing I should tell you is, I have special powers."
My eyebrows shot up. "Really?" It was a surprise. But for me, maybe not as unbelievable as he expected.
William reached out towards his bookshelf. In front of his palm, in the air, a blue circle appeared, like a hologram. A second later, a book shot out from the shelf, passed through the circle, and landed in his hand. The glow faded away.
"Whoa." I blinked. "That is… not where I expected this conversation to go. Was that, like, magic? Is THAT why you're into," I waved my hand around, gesturing vaguely to all the posters and notes taped to his walls, "all this witchy stuff?"
He nodded. "Kinda." He shook his head. "I mean, no. This is new. I mean--" He winced. "It's complicated. There's stuff that happened three years ago. And stuff that happened last week. And it's all connected. I didn't know where to start, but I think I can explain to you without using words."
He leaned forward. "I learned a new spell for this. It's kinda like the spell Agatha used to see Wanda's past, but in the opposite direction. I can send my memories directly into your mind. That way you'll immediately understand where I went last week and everything that happened to me. Will you give me permission to do that? Will you allow me to put those memories into your mind?"
I stared at him with a little confusion. "I dunno. Will it hurt?"
He stared back at me. "It's not… supposed to?"
In other words, he never tried it before.
I stared a bit longer. Then I nodded. "Okay."
William got off the bed and kneeled down directly in front of me. He placed his hand on the side of my head and closed his eyes. It was very "Vulcan mind meld".
Williams whispered, "Non quarere, non dico mendacium."
A second after that, memories of the day of the car accident, meeting Agatha Harkness, gathering the coven, and the Witches' Road appeared in my mind. It was like my brain was an internet browser and a dozen different tabs opened up all at once. It was overwhelming.
A second after that, I got up, ran to the bathroom and puked into the toilet.
A little later, after a concerned Mrs. Kaplan heard me and checked in, and I told her I just ate something earlier that disagreed with me, and William backed up my story and told her not to worry, I got a glass of water to rinse my mouth out and returned to William's room.
"Are you okay?" William asked gently.
I was rubbing my head. "First time magically downloading memories. It feels like a headache, a hangover, and staying up all night to cram for a big test all at once. Next time, we're doing it the slow way."
"Sorry."
I slowly sifted through the info-dump. "Okay… So… Your soul was created by Wanda Maximoff."
"And the Vision. Technically."
"Yes. Okay. And Vision. And when the original William Kaplan died, your soul took over his body."
"That's the theory, at least. It's a little ambiguous."
"You have a twin brother--"
"Tommy."
"--Who's been reincarnated somewhere in someone else's body."
"Uh-huh."
"You met up with a bunch of witches -- real witches -- and your magic powers created the Witches' Road -- by accident -- and most of those witches died there."
"…Yes."
"And speaking of died, Death is a person. And a lesbian."
"Now do you understand why it was so difficult for me to talk about this?"
Yeah, if he simply said all this, I probably wouldn't have believed it. But it was hard to argue with the memories in my own head.
The magic-hangover was mostly gone by now. The info-dump had settled.
I looked up at Wil -- No, at Billy. He called himself Billy now.
He's a mind-reader, I thought. I knew he couldn't help it, but now that I knew, I couldn't help but feel exposed in front of him.
"It's not like I hear every thought," he said defensively. "Only the loud stuff in the front of your mind. I don't go snooping, I promise."
No wonder he always seemed to understand me so well. And now, I understood him in a way no one else did.
I sat right next to him on the mattress. I grabbed his hand, and entwined my fingers with his. "It's not your fault they died, you know," I said.
"What?"
"Mrs. Davis and the others. You made that place. But what they did there -- that's not on you."
He calmly replied, "Thanks for saying so. But if an architect builds a house, and people die because it collapses, it's absolutely the architect's fault."
"Hey, listen." I looked him right in the eyes. "It was awful. But it was an accident, Billy. Nothing more."
I really thought that. So I knew he knew I meant it.
He stared at me. His eyes started watering. Then he looked away, smiled, and rubbed his nose. "I don't deserve a boyfriend like you."
"Yeah, well, you're stuck with me."
"Am I though?" he asked, his smile faltering.
"What?"
He spoke nervously. "Today at school, you didn't want to break up. But… You thought I was a normal boyfriend. You never signed up for all this craziness."
"Bill--"
"A-And it's not just the witchcraft and the mind-reading and looking for Tommy. I have to warn you: the Personification of Death doesn't like me very much. She agreed to let me go for now. But if you stick too close to me, you might get into trouble."
"That… is a scary thought…"
"Like I said, you didn't sign up for this, Eddie. If you want to ghost me this time… I'll understand."
I confess, I did think about it. The death thing aside, I spent a long time wishing for a normal life.
I loved this boy. But when I said that, there was a lot I didn't know about him. Just like he said: He was like a different person now.
But now that I did know who he was… I didn't not still love him.
I came to a decision. Holding his hand a little tighter, I told him, "I try not to think about this too often -- which is, apparently, why you never knew it -- but even if I left you, my life still wouldn't exactly be normal."
Billy's face looked into mine. I fought down the urge to kiss him and continued, "You know how I'm adopted? My mom found me and raised me on her own?"
"Yeah."
"Well, she adopted me from… a lot farther away than I led you to believe."
I held up my hand, the one that was still holding his. I concentrated, and my hand turned green. The skin became thicker and harder, like leather, or scales. We stared at my green fingers intertwined with his pale pink fingers. And then I made my hand and forearm look human again.
I nervously looked back at Billy's face. He stared at our hands in shock for several long moments.
"Well, say something," I blurted.
Finally, he grinned and said, "That is so cool."
I giggled from relief. I leaned in and was just about to kiss him when--
"Huh, a shapeshifting alien," said the ghost that appeared RIGHT BEHIND ME.
"YAH!" I fell off the mattress.
"Yeah, she does that sometimes," said an unamused Billy.
"I knew an alien once," the ghost said. "We almost made a movie together. Long story."
I got to my feet and stared at the translucent woman. I recognized her from Billy's memory.
"Agatha, this is Theodore Altman," Billy said. "He used to go by Teddy, but people kept making Grey's Anatomy jokes, so now it's just Eddie. Eddie, this is Agatha Harkness. My semi-evil, semi-dead, witchcraft mentor."
"Uh… Hi?"
"Good choice for a boyfriend, Billy," Agatha said with a smirk. "Shapeshifting will keep things fresh."
"So you're his… familiar?" I looked from Agatha to Billy. "That's the term, right? You're a witch now, and she's your familiar."
Billy smiled at that. Agatha did not.
"I take it back. You have horrible, horrible taste in boyfriends."
"Glass houses and stones, Agatha," Billy replied.
Can You Read My Mind?
(Spoilers for Agatha All Along)
(Word count: about 1500)
William was missing all night. Then all day. And then all night again.
At first he declined my calls. Then the phone just kept ringing. My texts were left unread.
I was totally prepared for something bad to happen to him while we were in a parking garage to meet a stranger from the internet. Except that turned out to be nothing. The guy was a paranoid nut, but harmless. It was after William dropped me off at home and drove away safely that he went missing. I didn't know what to think.
After a full day of worrying, he finally called me back early next morning.
"Are you okay?!" I asked.
"I'm fine," he said, sounding completely exhausted. "Well -- Yeah, I'm -- I'm fine."
"Where have you been? I've been trying to call."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's been a crazy day. And night." He mumbled to himself, "Did all of that happen in just one night? Oh man, what day is it?"
"You've been missing for over twenty-four hours," I explained. "Your parents are probably ten seconds away from calling the police."
"Yes, I'm sorry for scaring them. I'm driving home right now. And… Look, Eddie. Can you do me like a really, really, really huge favor? …Can you please tell my mom and dad that I was with you the whole time?"
"Actually, no. Because they already called me, and I told them I had no idea where you were."
"Oh… Right…"
There was a pause.
"Are we just skipping the part of the conversation where you tell me what happened?" I asked. "You didn't meet that Ralph guy again, did you?"
"No, it wasn't Ralph."
"Then where--"
"Eddie, I do not even know where to begin. I promise I'm okay, but I'm tired. And I really shouldn't be on the phone while driving in the first place. All I wanna do right now is get home, shower, and maybe take a nap. Can we please talk about it later?"
I didn't want to, but I said, "Okay. Later." Then I said, "I love you."
"Me too. Bye." And he hung up.
Only we didn't talk later.
William was grounded. He couldn't use his phone and I couldn't visit him. Or at least, that's the excuse he gave me when I saw him at school. I couldn't shake off the feeling he was lying.
He wouldn't talk to me at school either. Any time I tried, he made some excuse and took off. "Later. Promise." He stopped coming to the GSA too. Not because of his parents, he said he was too busy for it.
Once I caught him on a computer in the school library. Looking over his shoulder, I saw that he was searching news websites. But it wasn't about the Westview incident this time. He was looking up articles from all over the country about people who drowned, or nearly drowned.
When I asked him about it, all he would say was, "I'm trying to find someone." He was frustrated. "They're all dead ends. It probably didn't make the news."
I tried to get him to talk more, but it was about time for next period. He had to go. Again.
Whenever I saw him in the hallways, he gradually looked worse. He had stopped putting effort into his hair and make-up. His black nail polish was old and chipped. Instead of eyeliner he had dark bags under his eyes. I could tell he hadn't been sleeping well.
This went on for a week.
"You're avoiding me," I said. It wasn't a question.
I cornered him at his locker. He looked back at me and said, "I'm not avoiding you, Eddie," in a calm tone that completely contradicted his deer-in-the-headlights expression.
"You really sort of are."
He sighed. Struggled to say something. "I -- I'm sorry. I've just been really distracted lately. I'll explain everything later. I promise."
"You've been promising that all week. Frankly, it's not good enough anymore."
That's when the school bell rang. Everyone around us headed for class.
William looked at me guiltily and said, "I'm really sorry."
He tried to walk away, but I grabbed his sleeve. "Eddie, we're gonna be late for cla--"
"Then we'll be late!" I snapped. "This is important."
He stopped protesting after that. I let go, and even as the hallway nearly emptied, he didn't run off.
"William, be honest with me," I pleaded. "Is this because I told you I love you?"
"What?"
"Because I can't help but notice this radio silence started right after that. I came along with you to meet Crazy Ralph. But then as soon as you don't need me any more, you suddenly want more space." I meant to sound angry. I hated how pathetic and desperate I sounded instead. But I kept going with, "Don't say you love me back just 'cause you don't want to hurt my feelings. If I scared you off, just say so."
Is it wrong that I felt a little bit relieved when I saw how heartbroken William looked?
"No. No, Eddie. It's not like that. I promise." He held both my hands. "I love you too. Seriously, if I could, I would be with you all the time. It's just that I really am busy now."
"Where did you go missing that day?" I asked point-blank.
He looked guilty again. Hesitated. Then he answered point-blank, "I can't tell you."
"What have you been so busy with all week long?"
"I can't explain that either."
The hallway was empty by now, except for us.
"I'm sorry, but that's not good enough," I said. "You go missing for almost two days, scaring the hell out of me and your parents. You're meeting strangers from the internet. You look like you haven't slept through the night in ages. Something is obviously wrong, William. Tell me."
He rubbed his face, exhausted. "Listen. A lot of different things happened. There's a lot that's still going on right now, and every part of it is really difficult to talk about. I know I'm not being fair, but can I please keep this to myself for a while longer?"
"If we love each other, we shouldn't keep secrets. I don't keep any secrets from you."
I shouldn't have said that, I thought guiltily. It's a lie. I'm keeping a huge secret from him.
William furrowed his eyebrows. "That's a lie?!"
I froze. Clearly, my poker face wasn't nearly as good as I thought.
"I'm -- I'm not lying," I said lamely.
He was both angry and confused. "How are you keeping a secret from me? I've never heard any--"
"We're not talking about me," I said defensively. "I get that you're going through an identity crisis. I get that it's complicated, and you think researching all this conspiracy stuff will help. I've been extremely supportive and patient with you -- And a lot of boyfriends wouldn't have."
"Do you think I enjoy keeping this all bottled up?! I don't! It's giving me nightmares, Eddie. I keep seeing their faces and thinking it's my fault--" He caught himself and stopped abruptly. "I want to tell you. I just can't."
"Why? What could possibly be so bad that you can't tell me? Did you kill someone?!"
I said it sarcastically, but William froze.
A second later he pressed his eyes shut and put his hands on his head. "I can't have this conversation right now…"
"Willia--"
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The lights flickered a bit as he yelled that, but I didn't pay attention.
Once the lights returned to normal, I turned on the spot and walked away from him.
"Eddie? Where are you…?"
I didn't answer him. I just walked away.
I didn't know where I was walking to. I was thinking… Actually, I don't remember what I was thinking in that moment… I wasn't thinking much of anything. Except leaving him alone.
"Oh my god," William said. "No, no, no! Snap out of it!"
He ran behind me and grabbed my hand. The moment he touched me, I stopped and blinked. I hadn't even realized how badly I was spacing out, but suddenly I was alert again.
William ran around to face me and grabbed my head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Eddie," he said quickly. "I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I swear." His eyes were watering.
It seemed like a pretty extreme reaction for shouting at me. "I-It's okay," I mumbled.
I grabbed his hands and gently pulled them away from my head. "Are you ready to talk now?" I asked.
He stared at me, still on the verge of tears. His mouth trembled. But after a second, he nodded.
"Yes… You're right, I can't keep this bottled up… Just, can we please not get into it right this second, in the middle of school? Come over to my place this afternoon. I'll tell you everything then."
"All right. When I come over, are you actually gonna be there this time?"
He looked guilty at that, and nodded again. "Yes."
"Okay."
"I'll explain everything today, Eddie. All of it. I promise. For real this time."
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minzapinza · 1 month ago
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im so tired of living at home ngl
i love my parents but 24/7 they are talking about the end of the world and how putin is gonna kill us all and how ww3 is coming any day now and how the German social democrats/greens government is gonna pass Nazi laws before the election so they can keep governing and how they're gonna take everyone's houses and money to make refugees live there and force feed everyone vaccines
im tired of it. i stopped looking at news bc its a bummer and i stopped talking about it too for the most part because i'm sick of the whole doomerism going on. i just wanna chill
ngl up until like 4-5 yrs ago i thought my dad was one of the smartest people i know but he's gone so far off the deep end I cannot find any common ground with him anymore. like we used to talk about whatever but now, inevitably, every conversation topic leads back to one of those insane topics
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thediktatortot · 1 year ago
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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fragglerockopinions · 7 months ago
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#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
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alsaurus-loves-dean · 1 year ago
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#okay it's been a while BUT maybe some of you remember my friend 'joe'#not his name it's a fake name that i only use here lol but anyway#joe was my next door neighbor in sacramento#he's like 15 years older than me and is a stoner electrician filmmaker artist type#a true freak in the sense that he is Different Than Everyone Else#like very. very. very unusual person#my wife and i became very close with him and we used to do all kinds of cool stuff together#along with his partner who i will call 'amy'!#since we moved to LA we only see him once or twice a year#usually when he drives down to visit and help us renovate our house#he encourages my art more than anyone in the world pretty much#my stupid amateur music and my little projects and my smut fanfiction literally all of it#sometimes he pisses me off because he's a white cishet man lmao#but mostly he's got the right idea about shit#i love joe forever and ever and ever he's truly one of my closest friends in my life even when we don't talk for months#ANYWAY JOE IS COMING TO VISIT ON WEDNESDAY AND I AM SO EXCITED#i havent seen him since way before the baby was born! so its been like a year??#its been a while! but he's coming for at least a few days#maybe a week? i dont know#and he's bringing amy this time!!!!#amy is so cool. a very chill and kind and wise person#i love her too but JOE! I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH JOE!!!!!!!!!!#i dunno man ever since we moved down here i've been so isolated#and i was already relatively isolated in sac lol#but down here its like damn. just me and the wife and kids#and my wife's family#but when Joe comes to visit i feel like a real person again#joe#not sure if i have a tag for joe but just in case lol
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esamadnan94 · 3 months ago
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My family, my dear friends and everyone who knows me or not ، we are Issam and Sahar , newly married and living in Gaza, I'm 30 years old and Sahar is 26.
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Everyone who knows us knows that we are a reserved, quiet and reclusive person. We have always been an independent person and used to do everything ourselves for our family. So, I hope you understand that today it's difficult for us to talk about our personal issues and finally ask for help. I will tell you my story briefly, after I realized some of my dreams a short time ago by marrying my life partner and moving into my house, which we only stayed in for a few days until we were in the middle of the war, we fled to save ourselves and stay alive, we lost hope in life after all our dreams that we had dreamed of since childhood were shattered.
One of our dreams was to settle in the house we built stone by stone and be happy like other couples, but we couldn't because of the war.
I used to work as a lawyer in several companies, I am unemployed, I lost my job, I have no source of income, and everything I saved I put in the house, the house was destroyed and I have nothing now.
This is a picture of me as a lawyer with the head of the Bar Association
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My wife and I decided to start a fundraising campaign so that we can get some money to evacuate us after we lost everything, to rebuild our house that was destroyed by the occupation, and to get food, water and other necessities of life so that we can live first and then think about our future, which we don't know anything about.
Now, this is our house, which was destroyed by the occupation after my wife and I equipped it
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The place where we live now is devoid of all the necessities of life, and we struggle with access to water, food, safety, and all the necessities needed to live.
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I realize that we're all going through tough times, so anything that helps, whether it's your love and support, your donation, sharing my story, or sending love and prayers, it's all accepted and greatly appreciated, and I hope that anyone who is able to help me will help me and spread the link, because literally every dollar makes a difference.
Here is the link to the private fundraising campaign
My campaign has been verified by:
@90-ghost here.
@el-shab-hussein here.
@punkitt-is-here here.
@wayneradiotv here.
@fairuzfan here.
@nabulsi here.
@tamamita here.
@gazavetters,my number verified on the list is ( #205 ) here.
@dlxxv-vetted-donations here.
@bilal-salah0 here.
@comrademango here.
@a-shade-of-blue here.
@gaza-evacuation-funds here.
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demi-god77 · 3 months ago
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BYLER GATES: A GUIDE
(Explaining all the different theories, for anyone who is also lost with how many there are)
THE BIG 4
Flickergate: This theory involves a lot of time shenanigans and is connected to the Will having powers in s5 one (possibly manipulation of time or electricity). Theory claims Will and Mike will kiss in the UD, specifically outside Mike's garage, paralleling 1x01. Will is going to tell the truth at the same time his s1 self is ("it was a seven"), causing the garage light to flicker on Nov. 6th 1983.
Birthdaygate: This theory suggests that the Duffers didn't actually forget Will's birthday is March 22nd (the day of the rink-o-mania incident). It claims that Vecna is actually manipulating the characters' memories (possibly even Will's), making them forget his birthday in the process, maybe in an attempt to make him feel excluded/lonely and making him vulnerable. (Similar to the beginning of Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets, which happened to be on the inspo board for S4)
But also the Creel murders themselves happened on March 22nd.
Churchgate: More UD kiss related theories! This one claims Will is going to get Vecna'd or possessed in the Upside Down church (and that he's going to hurt/choke Mike in the process). With a crazy amount of religious symbolism, Mike would be the one breaking him out of his trance, through a kiss or a confession.
(More thorough explanation here.)
Lettergate: This gate's truthers believe that Mike did actually write to Will in the time period between s3 and s4, but never sent the letters. Said letters (signed "Love, Mike") are going to make an appearance in s5, revealing his true feelings. (Great post that has to do with this gate here)
Also related to:
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OTHER GATES
Pocketgate: Very connected to Lettergate™️, this theory has to do with Mike's infamous triangle shaped pocket in S4. It suggests that the letter signed Love, Mike is hidden in said pocket throughout s4, since it very closely resembles an envelope. Triangles have also been used in ST as a queer symbol (with Robin) and Mike's pocket consistently points to Will like an arrow.
Phonegate: Kinda similar to the previous two, this gate claims Mike did actually call the Byers in Lenora. For some reason, the calls didn't go through, either because of Joyce's telemarketer job OR because of Vecna manipulating things again (cough, birthdaygate, cough).
This is backed up by one of Dustin's lines, saying that the Byers' phone line is always busy and Mike won't stop complaining about it. We know he must have been calling WILL, since the whole reason he was communicating with El using letters is that they couldn't talk on the phone.
Loverslakegate: Related to Lovers' lake (obviously). The lake is shaped like a heart, tying into its name, but it was split in two after the gates opened, now resembling a broken one (and Mike is ofc referred to as "the heart" so it could be a reference to him).
According to this theory, Mike and Will are going to kiss/become lovers near said lake/Reefer Rick's house.
Heartgate: To put it simply: Heart reflections EVERYWHERE. This one is better explained through pictures:
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Also: Different heartgate but really interesting
Colorgate: I don't think I have to explain this one tbh but anyway
Blue meets yellow in the west.
Mike and Will have been HEAVILY associated with blue and yellow respectively since the beginning of the show (even wearing eachother's colours in both of their arguments). There's an insane amount of evidence that backs this one up.
It's speculated that the Russian code in s3 was foreshadowing for s4 ("The silver cat feeds when Blue meets Yellow in the west") Silver cat: Vecna who started killing when Mike (Blue) met Will (Yellow) in the west (California, literally west of Indiana)
Curtaingate: "They don't spent their lives trying to get a look at what's behind the curtain [...] They like the curtain. It provides them comfort, stability, definition" -Murray 2x05
Mike and El are pretty consistently framed in front of CLOSED (and more often than not, yellow) curtains, or ones that have closed blinds. According to this theory, closed curtains represent not being honest with one's true feeling. So, the truth about Mike's feelings is beyond the curtain and in s5 he will open it (and come out)
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Motelgate: This one has to do with the dreaded two day time skip at the end of S4. Theory claims the Cali crew stayed at a motel during that time skip and the scenes were cut for time, but we'll flash back to them in s5. It's based on a photo a production assistant posted from the New Mexico filming, as well as some bts pics of the Cali Crew playing board games in a motel.
Shoegate: In S4, we see a pair of Will's shoes in his bedroom. In s5, Mike seems to be wearing that exact pair. This, in addition to the fact that they wear the same shoe size (a 10 according to their rollerskates from 4x02), lead people to theorize they will share clothes/shoes in s5. More importantly though, this theory suggests Mike is figuratively being put into Will's shoes (maybe pining?). Also, both of them wear the same shoes they wore in s2. Interestingly enough though, even though the design is the same, the colors are reversed (so their roles will be reversed too).
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Possessiongate: This one runs DEEP so I'm going to link a bunch of posts
To put it VERY simply: this theory claims Vecna somehow attached himself to Mike (maybe when the vine grabbed him by the leg in the S2 tunnels- right before he started acting weird in s3 and s4) and he has been influenced/possessed for some time now.
He's not the dungeon master anymore, he's not in control. Both in s3 and s4 someone ELSE is the DM when they play D&D (Will and Eddie respectively)
More here and here
Victimgate: Very closely related to the previous one, this one suggests that MIKE was originally supposed to be Vecna's 4th victim instead of Patrick. Since Max escaped the first time, SHE ended up being the last victim but the original plan was for it to be Patrick. However, Patrick's curse doesn't fit the theme of all of the previous ones. We only see one of his visions, he gets cursed for ONE DAY, as opposed to the other 3 that are cursed for almost a week and we also know very little about him, even though we gradually knew more about the previous victims. Chrissy (no relation to main characters) -> Fred (friends w/ Nancy) -> Max (main character who we've known since s2)
More thorough explanation here
Twelvegate: This one is not really Byler related but i wanted to include it anyway
Theory claims Will was one of the lab kids (specifically 012) and him and El are actual twins. There are mentions of Will and El looking similar since s1, and a lot of twin imagery.
This theory obviously ties in with the Will having powers one and some people believe he wasn't 012, but him and El have a deeper connection/may be actually related. It could theoretically explain Henry's connection to Will, as well as things like El seemingly recognizing him in s1.(Alternatively called rainbowshipgate, because of the rainbow ship drawing Joyce mentions in s2 and the rainbow room)
Eightfifteengate: Again, not explicitly Byler but it's quite crazy.
TL;DR: The time 8:15 seems to have great significance in the show and it's mentioned all the time, if not by the characters themselves, (Eg. "It's 8:15, you're late"- El s2) then by small details in the background. There's even a whole track named after it.
Will left the Wheelers' house at 8:15 and it's the EXACT timestamp of his disappearance in 1x01. It's also the time in which most of the UD related weirdness happens and so it's very likely the UD is stuck on 8:15. (Also you know, 15-8=7)
Radiationgate: Related to the previous one! Clocks in Chernobyl are stuck on 8:15 and Hiroshima has been described figuratively as being frozen in time. Henry has burns identical to Chernobyl victims and almost all of his + his victims' symptoms can be explained through radiation exposure. As this post explains, for radiation levels between 8.3-11 Gy (SI unit for absorbed radiation), symptoms start with headaches and disorientation, move on to unconsciousness and bleeding (the exact symptoms of his victims) and finally, death happens at around 7 days (which is about how long Vecna's curse lasts AND how long Will was in the UD for)
Whiterabbitgate: The song "White Rabbit" is the first song in the show and it plays when we first get a sense of El's powers. Theory suggests it will also be the last song in the show (coming full circle) with either Will using his powers, or Willel using their powers together.
In general though, ST has a lot of similarities/parallels to Alice in Wonderland. The white rabbit constantly being late (Mike is late to something at the start of every season), great significance to clocks/ticking/time, a lot of hallucinations/visions, the overall similarities between the Upside Down and Wonderland. Henry's sister was literally named Alice Creel and there is SO much rabbit imagery throughout the show. There are also direct references to AIW with set pieces and paintings.
Soundtrackgate: This one has to do with the Stranger Things OST and the overall insane musical symbolism throughout the show. A lot of different theories talk about the show's soundtrack, but this one talks about 3 tracks in particular: Being Different, The First Lie, The First I love You
To put it briefly: "The First I love You" plays in both Robin's coming out scene and El's kiss with Mike at the end of s3 (Already a weird parallel). The three tracks not only share the same melody, but they also sync up perfectly. "Being Different" (s4 van scene) and "The First Lie" (Nancy and Jonathan's kiss in s2) especially, match up together to create an entirely new track, completing eachother. The scenes featuring those three tracks also share very similar themes at their core. (This post goes into a lot of detail!)
Playlistgate: Character playlists! At a certain point, every character's official playlist on Spotify was deleted, except for three: Mike's, Will's and Billy's. Songs were seemingly being added/deleted for no reason to the Mike and Will ones and people were struggling to make sense of it all.
Also, Mike's character playlist in particular is VERY interesting (so many byler coded songs, as well as "Smalltown Boy" a gay anthem, about a young gay boy forced to leave his home town to escape from their disapproval and homophobia.) There are three playlists on Finn's spotify that are very incriminating. "Love songs" (That has "BOYS DON'T CRY" on it, a song that Will literally has a poster of in his room), "drive" and the most recent one "STurn". These playlists feature songs like "Let her go", "Angst in my pants", "Me and Michael", "Gay thoughts" just to name a few. Basically a lot of the songs on all four playlists seem very relevant to some complicated feelings about Mike's relationship with El/Will but also with himself and his sexuality.
Scriptgate: Oh boy. Here we go.
On August 5th 2022, the byler fandom got #bylerscript trending worldwide on Twitter while waiting for the 8flix account (run by Nick Runyeard) to release some supposed s4 scripts (that people PAID for, mind you). These scripts dropped on August 8th, featuring lines like: "I hate who I am" from Will in the van scene, "His mouth dry, like a California summer" from the bedroom apology scene and also, Will seemingly recognizing Brenner at NINA, despite never meeting him in canon.
These turned out to be fake and the community was in shambles. Nick started calling people psychos, the Stranger Writers tweeted that everyone got scammed, Nick privated his account and the authenticity of some released s2-s3 scripts was questioned. This post explains the entire situation in detail.
Breathgate: This one is also script related and specifically about a Mike/Max parallel.
In the official van scene script, when Mike sees Will's painting "his breath catches." Then, when Lucas asks Max to the Friday movie date, "(her) breath catches" as well. People caught on that parallel very fast and since the latter is obviously a romantic moment, it boosted their confidence for both Byler and Lumax endgame.
Piggybackgate: This one refers to two different situations/theories.
One, the seemingly deliberate framing of Mike and Will inside the little bubble in El's piggyback drawing (and it referening to Byler). The framing is especially suspicious, because the bubble drawing was drawn two separate times (it's different from one shot to the other). In the second shot, they're framed directly inside of it.
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Two, Mike in his monologue essentially piggybacking off of Will's van confession. His monologue was going off of El's feelings, but since they weren't actually El's, the speech was based on Will's feelings. It also ties in with the parallel/foreshadowing between the monologue and Suzie's house, with Will being paralleled to the "director" kid, directing a "choking" Tabitha and their dad (more thorough explanation here).
Footballgate: On December 25 2024, the vast majority of the byler community spent their Christmas watching hours of NFL football, in the hopes we would maybe get a teaser or at the very least a release date for s5. This started from leakers saying we would most likely get something during the game.
We got nothing.
People were disappointed they wasted hours of their lives watching a sport they neither cared for or knew anything about, and the only thing we learned is that we would probably get something before the end of January 2025.
THE SILLIES
(aka the joke-theories/memes)
Miniongate: Mike and Will are secretly minions. (Because you know, minions are primarily blue and yellow)
This information will be revealed to us in s5 and they will have a magical girl-esque transformation where we see their true minion form. (Original post here)
Localvillagegate: Related to the leaked Mike and El rooftop scene.
Basically, a mlvn used AI to lip read the scene and try to figure out what Mike is saying (and then posted the video on Twitter).
According to them, Mike was telling El they were going to leave the local village (AKA Hawkins) together and travel to a beautiful faraway land with "like, three waterfalls or something" (and also that she has to "improve her motivation", whatever that means).
People thought it was hilarious and started making a ton of memes based on it.
Parrotgate: This is directly connected to localvillagegate™️ and it was created by @cloudycleric in one of his streams.
Basically, the parrots are gay and represent Will and Mike, who in s5 will kiss under the three waterfalls depicted on the image.
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Backgroundguygate: People making headcanons and creating backstories for random extras. The star of this gate is Barrett, an extra from the Lenora high school, who wears a barrette, bright red pants and a shirt that says "Hell".
According to this gate, he's actually gay and in love with Will. He has a goth best friend named Claire who is a lesbian and in love with El.
Chancegate: The theme of shipping Will with random extras continues on strong
Chance is one of Jason's friends and part of the basketball team. People thought he was attractive and somewhere along the line started making headcanons for him and shipping him with Will (Bychance). Basically, they're gonna date and Mike will be jealous.
Mikhailgate: More shipping Will with randoms! (I'm beginning to see a pattern here)
Originally created by @paladin-n-cleric
Enzo in S4 mentions his son, Mikhail Antonov. Mikhail is the Russian name for Micheal.
People started making jokes that Mikhail would arrive to Hawkins from Russia in s5 and shipped him with Will (Willhail), since he's like Mike but Russian and cooler. They made fanart, edits and posted pictures of Finn as Boris in "The Goldfinch" claiming it's Mikhail.
@will80sbyers then begun to ship Mikhail with El and thus the ship "Jail" was born.
Pastagate: On January 2nd 2025, Noah posted a 2024 recap on IG, which included a photo of a trailer door labeled "Rigatoni". People then started joking about Rigatoni being Will's new bf and the ship "Willoni" was born.
In reality, Rigatoni is a nickname for Noah and that was his trailer. But where's the fun in that?
Baldmikegate: Did you know Mike is actually bald and is bullied for it? Well, now you do.
In 2022, a cult was born and the byler tag was filled with edited pictures of Bald!Mike. Terrifying honestly.
Some people made posts about how the rest of the party feels about Mike's secret baldness and some even wrote FANFICS.
Gridgate/whiteboardgate/pixelgate: The Stranger Writers posted a picture of a pixelated/blurred whiteboard that had the entirety of s5 mapped out. People were desperately trying to decode it and figure out what was written on it.
On the space for episode 7, there was a "big black hole" that people went crazy trying to make sense of, only for it to be revealed as a pen holder.
Babygirlgate: The babygirlification of Mike Wheeler. That's it. That's the gate.
I think pretty much every line Will has ever said to Mike has been posted with the word "babygirl" replacing his name (it's hilarious and I love it)
Some examples here and here
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Mattduffersbasementgate: Finn and Joe made up a third Duffer brother named Pete, who has no hair for some reason and is the actual writer of Stranger Things, while Matt and Ross are just the faces of it. Pete lives in a shed/Matt's basement and that's where he writes all of the scripts.
Finn and Noah are both also being held in Matt's basement however, and they're not allowed to leave so that they don't spoil byler endgame.
I definitely missed some gates, but omg this took SO LONG
(this post is for you @felix-fathoms @bibylers)
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acid-ixx · 6 months ago
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lovefool by the cardigans
— series concept ft. soft yandere dc! x bimbo/himbo reader
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soft yandere! dc characters x himbo/bimbo/careless reader... who's just a bundle of joy to be with... where all the villains have an agreement to never mess with you, hell even kidnap you occasionally from the arms of the heroes just to hear you rant endlessly about your 'mundane' life as if you weren't just abducted... where the heroes would quite frankly sometimes have to put you in some sort of human leash because you wouldn't literally panic if there's a gun pointed against you...
the urge to make a shitpost/romcom series just because i listened to lovefool by the cardigans... no idea of platonic/romantic but i'm just moving on with the flow... a bit more on the romantic side ig...
i'm going feral at the thought of a wild goose chase with you, because one second you're bundled up in the arms of the justice league, each one of them scheduled to strictly watch over you, another is stationed near the door as they'd be the one to get you anything you want or need— then suddenly you're at a villain's lair that houses all the bad guys and then oops! you accidentally inhaled the scarecrow's fear gas but you're not reacting?! is your mind filled with air...? all your response was a quirk of your eyebrows and a question that's just "is there any signal here? the league told me to call me if i'm in any trouble...?" which then you would quickly take back and instead would smile at them like some goons didn't just threaten you with a knife to your neck just because you screamed, calling the scarecrow's mask a sack of moving, possessed potatoes.
originally, most villains would whisk you away from the arms of your vigilante babysitters but then they discover you're just a bundle of joy who laughs at the shittiest joke anyone could make, who snorts at their 'funny' antics and words, who grins when they take pictures of you to use as bait that you're being held hostage. it kind of goes to the point that their original plans all go to waste and they decide to just, take you all for themselves. they don't even know how you were able to survive being thrown around carelessly by the shoulders of big, muscular men, but they're more jealous at the image of you giggling and running your hands through muscles arms and toned abs; so they took it in themself to be the ones to guide you through your now makeshift room, hoping you would fawn over them with those cute stars in your eyes...
and if you were taken back into the arms of the vigilantes? oh god, the heroes can't even scold you because you'd be already hugging the next person in the room, babbling endlessly about your adventures with the villains and ignoring their seething envy with just how much you brag about how some are "too hot to be evil! i think i can change them!" because why are you talking about some randoms who just kidnapped you for their own gain when you have them right there? no way are you now getting out of their sights, them trying so hard to even distract you from going outside because "it's just too dangerous to be out there, boo! you're safe with us."
and you just nod your head with that toothy grin of your! are you seriously unaware of how much the richest of the rich are willing to pay for just an hour of your already shining presence? hell, you're just too... out of it, to the point you'll be the one who discovers their secret identities just by accidentally noticing details that nobody with functioning thoughts would even think about.
"batman! you must be bruce wayne, right?" you randomly approach him one day, with a foot tapping the floor impatiently. you stare at him like you had made a scientific discovery.
"... how do you know...?"
"'cause you're both hot and rich and whenever i get a feel of mr. wayne's abs, they're the same size as yours—!" and you continue to guess his children's identities all correctly with a quip of how hot they are or how you wish one you were fit and toned enough to have honkers as big as them...
... that night, you're spending it in the batcave with bruce and his children trying their damn best to brainwash you into keeping their identities a secret, to which you reply with a nod and an airheaded smile. but then the moment they remove you from the straps constricting you in a comfy bed, you'll be running off to alfred, ranting about how you can't believe that you guessed their personas right and if he knew it all along too...
huh, guess that's what makes you all the more charming.
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a/n: please do comment or send in asks if you're interested in this as much as i am... i wrote this in quick succession and altho i am planning to make this series a shitpost one or a lighthearted romcom one, i rlly want to amp the yandere-ness hehe. it was fun writing this albeit it being written in about 10 minutes or less. ignore the header ill change it soon 🫦
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punkshort · 8 months ago
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i know who you are | 9. the end
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Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Chapter Summary: Joel leaves overnight for a scouting mission. When he returns, you finally confess your feelings for him.
Chapter Warnings: language, amnesia, slow burn, dry humping, some dead bodies 'n stuff, fluff, feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), piv unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft!joel, guns?
WC: 9.1K
Series Masterlist
A/N: Two things. One: I don't have the slightest clue how memory loss works and if what I am about to detail in this chapter is even plausible but if television has taught me anything, nothing is impossible only extremely rare. Two: this is the final chapter and it makes me very sad. I wish I could have thought of more storylines to drag this out but at the end of the day, I feel good about how it all came together and I can't thank quite literally hundreds of you enough for reading this each week. It's kind of insane. So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Also, if anyone wants to toss some one-shot/sequel ideas my way, I am all ears. Much love.
Two Weeks Later
"Joel," you whispered, your head tilted back into the couch cushion while his mouth greedily nipped and sucked at your neck. His hips were grinding lightly against your center and you knew if you didn't stop soon, you would be in trouble. "I think we should slow down."
"Mhmm," he mumbled in agreement, reluctantly pulling his hand from underneath your shirt.
"You're lucky it's still cold enough for me to wear a scarf," you murmured into his hair. He sighed against your neck, finally dragging his mouth away and sat up on the couch while yet another movie went unwatched on the TV.
"Can't seem to get enough of you," he said with a grin, his arm stretching over the back of the sofa. You rolled your eyes dramatically but smiled, pushing yourself up and fixing your shirt before looking at the TV. "Brad Pitt's in this?"
Joel tossed his head back and laughed heartily. "Think he's the main character," he told you, and you scowled at him but he could tell you weren't actually angry.
"Well maybe if you didn't distract me every time we try to watch a damn movie, I would know that."
The past two weeks had been downright perfect. Joel couldn't be any happier. Now that things had changed between you, he craved your touch constantly. Part of him wondered if it was his way of trying to make up for lost time because you weren't wrong: he couldn't keep his hands off you. He had no desire to leave the house or see anybody. All he wanted was to stay holed up with you doing absolutely everything and nothing. He shuddered to think how crazy he would become when you were finally ready to take things further. Tommy will have to drag him by the collar from your bed for his patrol shifts.
"What are you thinking about?" you asked him, leaning into his side and tucking your legs underneath you, only half listening to the movie.
"Patrol," he answered while the tips of his ears burned red from embarrassment, like you caught him doing something he shouldn't be doing. He was perfectly fine waiting as long as it took until you were ready, but it didn't stop him from fantasizing about it. And the fact that he already knew what you felt like, what you sounded like, what made you come undone, worked him up even more.
"How are you feeling about getting back out there?" you asked, tipping your head up to look at him. He didn't seem worried but it was hard to tell sometimes.
"Actually, there was somethin' I wanted to talk to you 'bout," he admitted. "And if you don't want me to do it, I won't. I put you through enough shit as it is-"
"Spit it out, Miller," you said, shifting out from under his arm.
"Now that the snow's melted, I wanna take a couple guys and scout the area for any trace of those raiders," he began, watching your face closely. "I won't go far, but..."
"But?" you pressed, raising an eyebrow.
"But I would be gone overnight. Just one night," he assured you quickly when he saw your face.
"Wouldn't the others have already noticed anything out of the ordinary on patrol?" you asked as anxiety began to squeeze your throat. "I don't understand why you need to go out there."
"'Cause I only trust myself to make sure we're safe," he explained. "If somethin' happened to anyone 'cause I led these assholes to our doorstep, I'd never forgive myself. D'you understand?"
You chewed on your lip and glanced down at your lap as you weighed your options. On one hand, you understood where he was coming from. And if no one else on patrol or guard had yet to see or find anything strange, then Joel would most likely not find anything, either. But on the other hand, just simply leaving Jackson was a risk. And even if Joel didn't find any other raiders, he wouldn't mean he would be safe from whoever or whatever else was out there.
Joel pinched your chin and gently tugged your lip from between your teeth, making you snap out of it.
"Can I go with you?"
Joel's face softened. "No, baby. You don't even remember how to shoot a gun. I can't risk it."
Of course, he was right. "Who would you take?"
He smiled and dropped his hand. "Tommy. Neil. George. Couple others offered, too, but I'm not sure how many we wanna bring. Don't wanna stick out like a sore thumb with ten horses out in the middle of the woods."
You relaxed a bit knowing he would be going with some of Jackson's most seasoned patrolmen.
"Okay," you agreed softly. His face lit up and he leaned forward.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you sighed, looking over at the TV as the credits began to roll. He hooked a finger under your chin and dragged your eyes back onto him.
"Thank you," he whispered before pressing his lips firmly against yours, trying with all his might to pour every ounce of affection and adoration he had for you into the kiss. You giggled against his mouth as he tried to push you onto your back once again, but you playfully shoved his shoulder before breaking the kiss and scooting away.
"We told Ellie we'd meet her and Dina for dinner, remember?"
He groaned as if he were in physical pain and reached out for you but you quickly stood up, wagging a finger at him. He gazed up at you from the couch with his brown eyes all wide and gentle.
"I mean it, thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
You blushed and bit your lip as you slowly walked backwards towards the stairs. "You can make it up to me one day."
Joel's gaze darkened and he dug his fingers into the couch cushion. "Just say the word, baby. Anytime. Anywhere."
You laughed and turned towards the steps. "Come on, we should get ready for dinner."
"In a minute," he said as you disappeared upstairs. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to will his raging hard on away before standing up and following you.
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You inhaled deeply, your body heavy with sleep as you struggled to focus on Joel's voice.
"Sweetheart, I'm leavin'."
With a groan, you rolled over and reached out for him blindly, your eyes still not fully adjusted to the beam of light shining in from the hallway.
He smiled and grabbed your hands, wrapping them around his neck. He felt your fingers dig into the back of his neck and shoulders as you feebly attempted to pull him towards you.
You asked him to wake you up before he left for his scouting mission, so he did as you requested but you were so warm and soft and supple under his touch that he was finding it impossible to leave.
Maybe you planned it that way.
"I'll be back late tomorrow. I love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against your temple, taking an extra moment to savor it. When he pulled away, your fingers tightened around his neck and you lifted your chin, kissing him with an urgency he hadn't expected from your half-awake state.
"Come home to me, Joel," you mumbled, your eyes squinting at him through the darkness. He pulled an arm from around his neck and brought your knuckles to his lips.
"Promise."
It was so hard to leave but he kept reminding himself he was doing it to keep you safe. Regardless of what Tommy thought, something in his gut told him they hadn't seen the last of those raiders. He brought them into the mountains, and he was determined to be the one to finish it.
"I'm still surprised she let you do this," Tommy said a few hours into their travels. George was leading the group while he and Tommy brought up the rear. The forest was silent, save for the birds just beginning to wake in the branches above. After a long, painful winter, it was a relief to hear the first signs of spring.
"What'dya mean let me?" Joel scoffed, but when he locked eyes with Tommy, who was giving him a look that said he saw right through his bullshit, Joel grinned. "Yeah, alright, it took a little work but she understood."
Tommy nodded and went back to paying attention to their surroundings. They were officially in unguarded territory, the nearest patrol route now miles behind them. The trees had yet to fully bloom so it was still rather easy to see through the woods.
"I think you really freaked her out when you left," Tommy said, "she came runnin' to the house that mornin' in a panic. Thought she wouldn't let you leave her sight again after that."
Joel hummed and turned his head so his brother wouldn't see his smile. He didn't want to worry you, but every time he heard something like that, it reminded him how much you cared, even if you couldn't say it just yet.
"So, you two back to normal now or what?" Tommy pried. Joel shot him a look and he shrugged. "We got a long journey here. We can't talk to pass the time?"
"Yeah, mostly back to normal," Joel finally answered, shifting his weight in his saddle. He could already feel his lower back beginning to flare up. "Takin' things slow. Givin' her as much time as she needs."
Tommy nodded, reading between the lines. "Didn't look that slow the other night after dinner," he muttered under his breath, but Joel still heard him.
"She had a couple drinks, is all," he replied with a chuckle. He scratched his chin as he thought back to a few nights prior when you had draped your arms around his shoulders and your face buried against his neck for the better part of thirty minutes. It was late, all of the families had cleared out after dinner, leaving behind the adults to kick back and cut loose a bit. It reminded Joel of a time before the world went to hell. When he and Tommy would go to a bar on a Friday night, the smell of stale beer and cigarettes in the air while the patrons had to shout over a mediocre cover band playing Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was the first time in a long time he felt relaxed and at ease. He watched his brother and wife across the bar steal kisses around conversations with neighbors, grateful for a night out as Ellie had offered to babysit. He had you at his side, sipping whiskey and making a face before you switched to something else.
As the night dragged on, you got a little closer. Then your hand found his knee under the table and you tilted your head into his shoulder, quietly listening to him discuss the plan for the trip with George. He wrapped an arm around your waist but his focus was entirely on George, too concerned with the map he had spread out over the wooden table. George's wife finally came to collect him, telling him she was tired and he was too old to be trying to keep up with the younger men, shot for shot. She wasn't wrong by the way he stood up and stumbled a bit, leading him towards the door, leaving just the two of you at your table. Once you were alone, your arms snaked around his neck and you tugged him to your lips, your tongue greedily licking into his mouth, the heavy taste of whiskey and gin on your combined breath.
"You sure it was just the drinks? You don't think it had anythin' to do with Angie sittin' two tables over?"
Joel's face flushed and he cleared his throat. It shouldn't turn him on but he couldn't help it. He liked it when you were possessive over him.
"Didn't think it wise to ask," was all he said. Tommy chuckled.
The group made decent time. They had a grid in mind and they almost reached their desired destination by sundown. When morning came, the plan was they would make their way back towards Jackson and cover the northeast quadrant of the map.
As they set up camp for the night, deciding to forego a fire since the temperature was comfortable and they didn't want to risk giving away their location, Neil commented that they hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary so far.
"Not that I mind coming out here, Joel," he followed up quickly, "always a good idea to take precautions and all that."
Joel nodded and focused on spreading out his sleeping bag. "I appreciate you all comin'. Not sure if I say it enough, but I'm grateful."
Neil and George exchanged surprised looks at the unexpected appreciation.
They got an early start the next morning, and as the sun rose higher in the sky and more ground was covered, Joel began to wonder if maybe they would make it back to Jackson sooner than he thought. He really hoped they would. Even if it was just one day, he missed you. He hated sleeping without you. He hated waking up and not finding you curled up against him with your head resting on his chest or his arms wrapped about your waist, face buried against the back of your neck.
He was glancing around the forest, wondering what you were doing right at that very moment when he spotted something orange in the distance. His heart rate picked up and he whistled, catching the group's attention. He pointed through the trees and they all silently slid down from their horses. Checking their weapons, they fanned out and slowly made their way towards the scrap of fabric. As they got closer, Joel could see it was a knit cap stuck in a bush, fluttering in the wind. None of the men saw any other signs of life, each of them silently communicating with hand signals they were taught years ago.
Tommy heard shuffling and he held up his hand, bringing the group to an immediate stop. From his angle, Joel could see that the bush with the knit cap was right outside the opening of a small cave. The way the trees had grown around the rocks, it was impossible to notice it from a distance.
The perfect hiding spot.
He exchanged worried looks with Tommy before they crept closer, his rifle gripped tightly in both hands, ready for anything. The shuffling got louder and clearer and it became apparent that the noise was coming from right within the mouth of the cave. Catching Tommy's eye, he made sure to show him he was putting his rifle away in favor of his hunting knife. He always preferred a silent takedown over wasting ammunition, but just in case it went sideways, Tommy would be ready to cover him.
Joel situated himself next to the mouth of the cave while the other men, spread out amongst the trees, hid and waited. He reached down and grabbed a rock, throwing it about ten feet away to draw out whoever was hiding.
He didn't even need to see it to know what was waiting for him.
When the rock cracked against a tree trunk and he heard the telltale snarl of infected, he tightened his grip on his knife. The runner stumbled out of the cave with a shriek, jaw snapping angrily in the direction of the noise. Joel had run into his fair share of infected over the years. He knew the noise would have drawn the attention of any infected in the immediate vicinity, and when he only spotted one, he almost breathed a sigh of relief.
He took it down silently with a blade to the back of the head, then inspected the body. It looked fresh, the clothes mostly intact. The rest of the men joined him as they peered inside the cave, listening intently for any movement. When they heard none, they began to advance.
The cave wasn't very big but it was enough to house ten men. At least, that's the number of bodies they found, not a single trace of life left.
"Well, shit," Tommy muttered, kicking one of the mangled bodies with his boot. "Guess that hunch of yours was right."
It didn't exactly please Joel to know he was right, but at least it was the best possible scenario. The men were taken out by infected probably within the past week. He counted the bodies five times. Then recounted the backpacks and sleeping bags. Ten seemed to be the correct number. No one was missing, assuming the runner he had just killed was the only raider who had the misfortune of turning instead of dying right away.
They scavenged what they could from the dead bodies before trekking back to the horses.
"Keep your heads up. Don't mean there ain't anythin' else out here," Joel warned.
"The warmer weather must've thawed out some infected," Tommy mused next to him. Joel nodded.
"Probably should warn the others to keep their guard up the next few weeks," he replied. "Maybe add an extra body to the towers if we can."
Tommy nodded in agreement. The winters in the mountains were harsh but at least they saw a decrease in the undead.
"Now let's get the hell home," George said over his shoulder, the rest of the men mumbling in agreement. Joel ducked his chin to his chest to hide his relieved smile. Home.
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To say you were happy to see him return was an understatement. It was closer to ten at night when you finally heard his heavy footsteps on the front porch.
"Told'ya I'd come back," he chuckled when you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.
"I know," you mumbled into his shirt. His heart swelled in his chest and he closed his eyes, breathing deep the smell of your shampoo. You both had a lot of work to do, essentially starting over and building a relationship from the ground up, but it was moments like those that made him believe everything was going to work out.
"Are you hungry?"
"Nah, just need a shower," he said, dropping his pack by the door and kicking off his boots.
"So I take it you didn't find anything?" you asked, trailing up the stairs behind him. He walked into your bedroom to grab a fresh set of boxers and sweatpants.
"Actually, we did," he began, and your heart plummeted. He saw the look on your face and quickly shook his head. "They were dead by the time we got there. 'Bout ten of 'em holed up in a cave. Infected got to 'em first."
"Oh, wow," you breathed, slowly sinking down onto the bed. "Well, at least you have peace of mind now, right?"
"Exactly," he said, giving you a quick kiss before heading into the bathroom. "Be out in a minute."
You heard the water turn on and you glanced over at the red flannel of Joel's that you slept in the night before. Even though it was clean, it still smelled like him. You glanced at the closed bathroom door and bit your lip, your heart fluttering in your chest as you thought things over. The morning he left, you wished you had told him but you were too sleepy and you wanted it to be more meaningful. Then, when you woke up and his side of the bed was ice cold, you felt the dread begin to creep up your spine. What if something happened and you never told him how you felt?
Well, nothing happened. He was home now. Safe and sound. There was no reason not to tell him.
You heard the water turn off and you jumped up to grab his flannel and scurried out of the bedroom, across the hall to the other bathroom, shutting the door.
Joel emerged a few minutes later with his wet hair slicked back wearing just a pair of sweatpants, per usual. He tossed his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and looked around. He noticed the closed door across the hall and assumed you were getting ready for bed so he slid between the sheets with a groan. He closed his eyes and took a moment to appreciate the mattress underneath him instead of the unforgiving forest floor before leaning over to grab his glasses and a book.
When you tiptoed back into the bedroom wearing only his flannel, he didn't notice at first. His focus was on the small print in front of him, blinking a few times and wondering if he needed stronger lenses when you cleared your throat. He glanced up and did a double take, his lips parting in shock when he saw his red flannel hugging your curves, the hem falling just below your ass.
You looked up at him and feigned surprise. "Oh, is this okay? I was cold-"
"Yes," he swallowed, immediately cutting you off, "it's okay."
You smiled and made a show of bending over to fix the sheets. Again, he swallowed tightly when he caught a glimpse of your black underwear and he felt his cock twitch. Before you turned around he made sure to be focused back on his book, although he was most definitely not absorbing any of the words on the page.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw you peel back the sheets and with a sigh, you tucked yourself in. You glanced over at him, admiring his strong side profile and the way his glasses perched on the tip of his nose.
"I missed you," you whispered, and he dragged his eyes from his book to look at you.
"I missed you, too."
You caught the way his eyes flicked down to your chest where you purposely left two buttons undone so you exposed a little bit of cleavage.
"What are you reading?" you asked, and he laughed through his nose.
"I've got no fuckin' idea."
In a flash, his book was discarded and you were in his lap, your mouth hungrily devouring his as he carefully removed his glasses and tossed them to the side. He wrapped both arms around you and held you close to his bare chest, his tongue licking past your teeth eagerly.
"You look so fuckin' good in my clothes," he growled, sounding as if it pained him before biting at your jaw.
"I wore your shirts the whole time you were gone," you admitted, rolling your head back and grinding down on his hips. You bit your lip when you felt how hard he was already. "Almost the whole week. I slept in your bed and-"
"Fuck," Joel groaned, grabbing your face with both hands and feverishly plunged his tongue into your mouth. You moaned and grabbed his shoulders, the intensity behind the kiss growing too hot. You could feel yourself tumbling, free-falling into the abyss with the unspoken words sitting heavy on your tongue, hoping Joel would be there to catch you.
"Wait," you gasped, pulling away, but only a little. Your forehead still rested against his as you both panted for air.
"I know, I'm sorry-" he was about to apologize for taking things too far when you cut him off.
"Do you remember all those months ago when I asked how I fell in love with you?"
Joel nodded. "Yeah."
"Do you remember what you said?"
He tilted his head back, lips parted as he gazed up at you, wondering why you were asking him those questions in that moment.
"Yeah," he replied slowly, "I said you're gonna have to wait to find out."
You bit your lip and with a shaky hand, you traced one of the wrinkles next to his eyes. "Well, I found out."
His chest stilled, breath caught in his throat as he processed your words. His eyes roamed over your face, hoping and praying he wasn't misunderstanding. When you saw him nervously swallow, you smiled.
"I love you, Joel."
His eyebrows pinched together and before you could see the tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled you down for another searing kiss. This time, he went slower. He savored every second, he memorized everything he possibly could about that moment because the way you made him feel hearing those words was unlike anything he ever experienced and he didn't want to take a single second for granted.
"I love you, too," he choked. He could feel you smile against his lips when he pressed his mouth against yours again. "Fuck, I love you so much," he mumbled, his hands falling to your hips, "I'd do anythin' for you."
Your mouth latched onto his throat and you dropped your hand between your bodies, your fingers lightly stroking him through his pants. And once again, you felt his muscles stiffen and freeze.
For a moment, the self-doubt crept in. What if he didn't want to? Was he too tired? Was he not ready? Then his hand covered your wrist and you watched as he slowly dragged your hand up and down, showing you what he liked. Encouraging you to continue. So you did.
His head tipped back against the headboard with a sigh and he squeezed his eyes shut, removing his hand and letting you take control. He wanted - no, needed - you to call the shots. You needed to take it as far as you wanted to take it.
When your fingers dipped below his waistband, he tensed.
When he finally felt your soft touch on his cock, he groaned.
It was better than he even remembered. His eyes were still closed as you worked him up and down, the arousal pooling between your legs the longer you spent just feeling him and not seeing him.
"I want you," you whispered in his ear, and his hips jolted as he whined against your shoulder. You wanted him.
When he opened his eyes, he looked absolutely wrecked. You could see that he was trying his best to hold back, trying his best to make sure you were comfortable, that you weren't feeling pressured, that you really wanted it.
But when you sweetly whispered please, Joel, he didn't hesitate. He flipped you onto your back and pulled hastily at the buttons of his flannel while he cemented his mouth against yours. Your hands drifted to his hair and back, pulling and scratching as you went while he finally flung open the shirt. He instantly latched his lips around your nipple, making you moan and arch your back underneath him.
"So beautiful," he mumbled against your chest. "Tell me again."
You smiled and peered down at him. "I love you."
He breathed a sigh of relief, his exhale fanning over your skin, making your nipples tighten. His rough hands slid down your stomach, thick fingers splayed wide, trying to touch as much of you as possible at once.
You could hear your heartbeat thrumming steadily in your ears when he dipped his fingers below the elastic of your underwear, a deafening sound that made it hard to focus but when he slid a finger slowly through your arousal, your senses suddenly sharpened. The house could have been on fire but you never would have known because all you could focus on was him.
He dragged his open mouth across your chest, teeth grazing over your collarbone, tongue flicking out and tasting you as he went. His lips puckered and sucked at your skin as he pet gently at your entrance, making you squirm with need and tug impatiently at his hair. When he pulled his hand out of your underwear, you made a frustrated little noise that made him smile. He popped his finger into his mouth and you watched, struggling to breathe, as his eyes fluttered closed and he moaned like he had just slipped into a warm bath after a hard day.
"God, I missed that," he whispered, and the look on his face made you actually believe him.
"Joel..." you breathed, plucking feebly at the waistband of his sweatpants.
"Lemme just make you come on my mouth first," and before you could respond, he was shimmying down between your legs and tugging off your panties. When you glanced down and saw how good it looked with his head between your legs, you relaxed and leaned back. How could you argue with that view?
"Oh," you sighed when his tongue first slid through your folds. You tipped your head back and closed your eyes, allowing your muscles to melt under his touch. His hands held your thighs open but he didn't need to bother. There was no possible way you would do anything to stop him. Not when he felt so good, taking his time and expertly lavishing your core with his tongue. And perhaps he was an expert. At least when it came to you, he had five years of experience to fall back on. He surely must have figured out what you liked in all that time.
Your breath was growing ragged and you could feel the heat creeping up your chest. He pressed the backs of your thighs, pushing your knees up towards your chest so he could devour every inch of you, eating messily at your cunt. You pulled your knees back and hooked your hands around each one, your thighs becoming too shaky to hold open with your own strength.
It was a combination of his lips wrapping around your clit and the deep groan that rumbled through his chest that made you come undone the first time. Instant relief flashed through your body and you released your knees, letting your legs fall limply onto the quilt while he eagerly cleaned you up with his tongue.
When he sensed it was too much, he began peppering kisses along your inner thighs, murmuring praise into your skin as he went. You opened your eyes and peered down at him, your breath getting caught in your throat at the sight. His mouth and beard were glistening with your slick, his own eyes remained shut as he mindlessly nipped and kissed your skin, but even from your angle you could see him rutting his hips into the mattress, looking for any amount of friction to relieve the ache.
You reached your arms out to him and he inched up but stopped at your stomach. He sighed and rested the side of his head against your belly, listening to your breath evening out as he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist. It took you by surprise that he wasn't immediately jumping at the chance to chase his own release when it was clear just a moment before he was dying for it. You glanced down at him and smiled when you saw the look on his face, simply content with just holding and being close to you. Carding your fingers through his curls, you heard him hum before pressing a gentle kiss against your stomach.
It might have been that moment when you realized he was right. What you had was special and rare. You could feel it in your bones, the way a look or touch sent a jolt right through you. The way you felt drawn to him, even from the very first day of your accident, you could sense something in him. You had no idea at the time what it was, but you were beginning to understand now.
"Joel?" you whispered, worried he might have somehow fallen asleep. Then you felt it. The first hot teardrop hit your skin and your heart clenched. "C'mere," you said, tugging at his shoulders. Begrudgingly, he obeyed. And after his arms loosened and he unpeeled his wet face from your belly, you saw the anguish in his eyes. All watery and wide and guilt-ridden.
"I don't deserve you," he said softly, his voice breaking a bit as you cupped his jaw. "Never did and definitely don't now. Not after everything I've done. Don't deserve your forgiveness, let alone your love."
You shushed him and pressed your lips tenderly against his, your thumb wiping away his tears as they fell.
"Don't tell me who I can and cannot love," you said, taking his chin in your hand and giving it a firm shake, like you were punishing him. He chuckled thickly through the tears.
You pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him slower, your tongue just barely dipping into his mouth. He groaned when you began to plant wet kisses along his jaw and you noticed with pride that his chest was rising and falling faster than usual while his hips ground into yours.
"Love you s'much," he almost sounded drunk, the feel of your mouth over his skin clouding his mind and mushing his words together.
"Yeah?" you asked before sucking a bruise where his jaw met his throat. "Then show me."
Joel kicked off his sweatpants and boxers with a grunt but when you went to remove his flannel from around your shoulders, he stopped you.
"Leave it on."
Your cheeks flared with heat at the way he looked at you and all you could do was nod and bite your lip.
It felt like time stood still when you first felt him enter you. Like nothing else in the world mattered outside of those four walls. He held your gaze and your fingers dug into his back, each of you savoring the stretch with your mouths hung open, the only sound was the occasional sharp little breath or gasp from one or both of you.
You could see it in his face again and you had a feeling you mirrored his look. It was too intense. Too overwhelming. So much had happened that led up to that moment: all the fear, sadness, laughter, arguments, long talks and shared traumas came crashing down at once. A tear slid down your cheek right when his hips came flush with yours and he leaned down to kiss it away.
"You okay?"
You nodded and wiped another tear away with the back of your hand.
"It's just a lot, y'know?" you sniffled, hoping he understood. And he did.
His eyes glistened and he smiled, his fingers brushing away a few stray pieces of hair from your face. "I know. We've come a long way."
"Yeah," you whispered, blinking back more tears. Your fingertips traced his bottom lip, your eyes flickering around his face, taking in every little crease and dimple. "Kiss me."
He did as you asked, kissing you slow and deep, matching pace with his hips. Your fingers dug into his arms, holding onto him, keeping him close. His hand pushed his flannel back, exposing one of your shoulders while your head tilted back into the pillows, momentarily breaking away for air. You moaned softly when he began to grind his hips against you, providing your clit with some much needed stimulation while he dragged his mouth down the column of your throat and across your collarbone. When he sunk his teeth gently into your shoulder, he felt you clench around him and gasp.
How's that feel?
Do that again.
Tell me you love me.
I love you.
Those sweet, desperate whispers were shared, breathed into each other's mouths, every word dragged out, every touch deliberate and slow. Neither of you in the mood to rush a thing as your fingers tightly laced together next to your head.
His other hand skirted around your back and under his shirt, palm pressing against your spine, pulling you closer to him, if it was even possible. He flexed his hips and you groaned when the tip of his cock hit a spot that had your entire body buzzing.
"Right there," you whimpered into his neck, brows pinched together and stomach tightening as you concentrated on the fire being stoked deep within you. Every one of his powerful thrusts was adding fuel to the flames. Your skin was slick with sweat and you began to regret keeping his flannel on.
"I know, baby. I remember," he whispered, tightening his grip on you. "Fuck, y'feel so good, I can't-"
"Don't stop! Please, Joel, more," you begged, tears welling up and spilling down your cheeks the closer and closer he pushed you to the edge. Your thighs tensed around his waist and his lips kissed the tears away and when you came, crying his name into his skin, he soothed you. He told you how much he loved you, how much he missed being so close to you, reminded you he was right there, that he had you and everything was okay.
Moments later, you felt his body tremble and his hips stutter. In a haze, you loosened your legs from around his waist. His lips captured yours frantically, fast puffs of exhale fanning over your cheek as he got more and more lost in chasing his climax. Your shaking fingers reached up to get tangled in his hair, ensuring his mouth remained firmly planted against your lips, muffling his groans and garbled versions of your name and I love yous, swallowing everything down until he yanked his hips away, spilling himself all over your stomach.
You both broke the kiss and looked down between your bodies, watching as each weak thrust painted your skin with more and more of his release until he finally stilled and shuddered.
After he finally forced himself to stand, he cleaned you up and slipped back into bed, one of his legs sticking out from underneath the covers, still slightly panting for air. You curled into his side, his arm wrapped around you, pulling you snug against him, his nose getting buried in your hair as you listened to each other's breaths even out. You quietly told him about a wound you stitched up at work all by yourself the day before and he told you how proud he was of you. You listened to him tell you a little more about his trip, how relieved he felt now that he confirmed with his own eyes Jackson was safe. At least, for the time being.
The last thing you remembered was him telling you how much he hated sleeping on the ground and how much he missed you while his knuckles soothingly dragged over your stomach but all you could think about was the warm glow that radiated from your skin and the delicious soreness between your legs as you drifted off to sleep.
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The next morning, you heard birds singing outside your window. You smiled before you even opened your eyes. Spring was coming. You always loved spring. Something about it made you hopeful and calm, and that morning was no exception.
You awoke still wrapped in his arms and his flannel, your cheek pressed against his bare chest, one of your legs slotted between his, enjoying the peace and quiet the morning brought.
"I thought you died," you admitted quietly once he woke, your fingertips tracing over the scar above his hip. "When you didn't come back that day, I was so worried. So scared my last words to you were something cruel and hurtful."
He hummed and said, "Oh darlin', I'm so sorry," then kissed the top of your head.
"Don't be. In a way, it helped me realize how much I care about you," you replied, lifting your chin from his chest to glance up at him. He always looked way too handsome in the morning. It was hardly fair. "Made me realize I couldn't live without you."
He grinned and rolled his shoulder, stretching out his sore muscles. "Well, if that's all it took, why didn't you say somethin' sooner?"
You giggled and looked back down at his scar, the smile slowly slipping from your face the longer you looked at the pale jagged edges marring his bronzed skin. "God, that day you didn't come back, though," you continued, your brow furrowed as you thought, "I had the worst pit in my stomach. Almost like I knew something was wrong, you know?"
He nodded and closed his eyes, letting you talk, completely at ease listening to your voice.
"It probably didn't help I had woken up that morning from the worst fucking nightmare."
"What nightmare?" he asked sleepily.
You chuckled when you thought about it.
"It's not really funny," you explained, rolling off of him and onto your back, pulling his flannel closed as you moved. "It had started out just like this, actually. It was morning, we were in bed and we were talking... about death?" you said the last part as if it were a question. "I was asking you if you believed in heaven and I told you I was afraid we were going to hell." His eyes snapped open and he quickly rolled his head to look at you, waiting for you to continue. You laughed again and shrugged. "I guess it felt like a premonition or something. Really freaked me out, it felt so real."
"What else?" he asked excitedly, sitting up. You looked up at him and cocked your head to the side.
"What do you mean?"
"What else do you remember? From the nightmare?"
"Oh," you said, pushing yourself up so you were also sitting. You stared at the wall blankly as you thought about it. "You told me we aren't bad people, and even though I told you we had done bad things, I believed you. Then..." you felt your cheeks flush and he sat forward eagerly.
"Then what?" he urged, and when you looked at him again, any trace of playfulness was gone.
"Then... it got a little dirty but I woke up before anything happened. But I do remember you were on top of me and you said-"
"This is heaven right here?" he finished for you, and you looked at him in surprise.
"Yes! How did-"
"That was no nightmare, honey. That happened," he told you, his voice rising. He thought his heart was going to explode, it was racing so fast.
"What?" you whispered, but Joel was already jumping out of bed and tugging on his boxers.
"C'mon, get up! We gotta take you to see Nick!"
"Wait," you said, buttoning up his flannel as he flew around the room, grabbing new clothes for you both. "Joel, this was a month ago, what will going to see Nick do?"
"I-I-I don't know! But we gotta tell him. Maybe there's somethin' we can do if we know you're capable of -"
"Joel, sit down," you said, cutting him off. He froze, having just tugged on a shirt but his jeans were still left unzipped and unbuttoned. You stared at him until he took the few steps towards the bed and sat down on the edge. "I'll talk to Nick next time I'm at work, but I don't want to barge in there and take up his time. You know this is out of his area of expertise."
He looked disappointed but he knew you were right because he finally nodded in agreement and bit the inside of his cheek while he stared at the floor. You put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, drawing his attention back onto you.
"It doesn't matter, anyway," you said softly. "If my memories come back, then they come back. If they don't, they don't. All that matters is this... right?" you asked, inching closer to him and resting a hand on his thigh. He smiled and enveloped your hand in his.
"Yeah, you're right," he said, staring down at your conjoined hands for a moment. "You wanna go get some breakfast? Maybe talk 'bout it a bit more?"
"Sure," you replied, then leaned forward, kissing him tenderly before standing up. "I should probably shower, though. Last night got a little messy," you said, tossing him a wink over your shoulder. He smirked and watched your ass sway back and forth in his fucking clothes as you made your way to the bathroom. You turned around in the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other braced against the frame as you looked at him expectantly from across the room. "Aren't you coming?"
All the blood rushed directly between his legs and just like that, his excitement for you recalling a memory was replaced by a very different kind of excitement.
"Hell, yes," he said, standing up and shucking off his shirt as he followed you into the bathroom. He grabbed your face with both hands and crashed his mouth against yours, kicking the door shut behind him.
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Three Months Later
"Can't believe I'm the one teachin' you how to shoot," Joel muttered in disbelief as you walked back from the line of trees where he had hammered a paper target into one of the trunks. "You were always a better shot than me. Almost better than Tommy, and he was in the goddamn Army."
You laughed and shook your head, still finding it difficult to believe that you ever shot a gun before. From what you remember, you were always afraid of guns growing up.
"Maybe I'm a natural, then."
Enough time had passed and the weather had gotten warm enough where you decided it would be beneficial to re-learn how to shoot. You didn't plan on going back to patrol, but in the world you lived in, it was an important skill to have.
You sat down next to Joel on the fallen tree trunk in the middle of a small field about two miles away from Jackson. He picked up each one of his guns and inspected them, making sure they were clean so there wouldn't be much kickback.
"Have any dreams lately?"
You sighed and shook your head. "Just the one about Ellie, and that was over a month ago."
When you woke up one morning from a dream that felt all too real, you shook Joel awake to tell him about it. It was a simple dream, but it felt intense. You had dreamed Ellie sat you and Joel down at the kitchen table, and full of nerves, explained that she was seeing someone. Someone she cared about deeply. You seemed to catch on quicker than Joel because the conversation lead to where Ellie had to point blank explain to him that she was dating another girl. He seemed surprised but not overly shocked, and when he shrugged it off and still maintained that his only concern was her partner treating her right, her face broke out into a huge smile.
After he confirmed it was a memory, you agreed to see Nick. He didn't end up having much insight on what spurred your sudden recollection that day, just as you expected. But much to your surprise, Joel was perfectly calm. In fact, he made a point of thanking Nick and you even saw him smile at the other man.
And it wasn't just Nick you noticed his demeanor changing toward, either. When kids playing in the street bumped into him, he laughed and waved them off. When Jesse proposed to his girlfriend, Joel was one of the first in line to give him a hearty handshake and wished them well.
You weren't sure if his behavior changed because you were so revolted by it in the beginning, or if he was just happier in general, but you didn't complain.
"Alright, so which one d'you think we're gonna use from this distance?" he asked after he showed you his revolver and then his rifle, explaining the difference between each: how they handled, when to use them, when not to use them, and then finally, how to load and unload them.
You gave him a blank look. "The rifle, Joel. I'm not a complete idiot. I've seen movies."
He grinned and holstered his revolver.
"Good girl. Beauty and brains," he said, and you rolled your eyes.
"Don't start."
"What?" he asked innocently.
"Don't start flirting with me. You'll distract me and I want to take this seriously."
"I ain't flirtin' with you."
"Yes, you are!"
He laughed heartily at your frustrated little pout. "Can you blame me? You're so goddamn cute."
"Joel..." you whined, and he held up both hands in defeat before picking up the rifle.
"Alright, alright. Lemme shoot off a few rounds and you watch my form, okay? Watch my shoulders and where my hands go."
"Okay."
You observed him as he took aim at the target, nearly hitting the bullseye but not quite.
"You wanna give it a shot?"
"Pun intended?"
He grinned and held out the rifle, so you grabbed it and sunk down to one knee, resting your elbows on the tree trunk as you tried to imitate his posture.
"Like this?"
"Mhm," he said, "now take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger nice 'n slow."
Doing as you were told, you inhaled and blinked a few times, making sure your vision was clear and your eye was on the prize. Pursing your lips, you slowly exhaled and squeezed the trigger - only to miss hitting the target entirely.
"Shit," you grumbled, sitting back on your heels.
"You got spooked by the kickback," Joel said, "try again, but this time try not to flinch."
You shouldered the rifle and took aim, once again taking a deep breath and focusing on the little yellow circle in the middle of the target. When you fired off your second round, doing your best not to flinch, you clipped the edge of the paper, but you were no where near the center.
"Goddamnit!" you yelled angrily. Joel chuckled and crouched behind you.
"Here. Lemme help you."
He wrapped his arms around yours and pressed his chest against your back, his hands coming to rest on top of yours as he made some minuscule adjustments to your posture.
"Y'gotta be gentle, see?" he whispered in your ear. Your eyelids fluttered but you managed to nod. "Gotta be patient. Don't let her scare you. Think of her as an extension of you. Like another arm."
"Her?" you teased.
He chuckled, his breath puffing against the back of your neck. "Yeah. Her. I'm respectful and careful with all my girls."
"All?" you repeated, leaning into him a bit. "How many are there?"
"Oh, tons," he said, making you giggle. "But if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite."
"A favorite over a bunch of guns? I'm so flattered."
"Hey, now. Didn't you just say you wanted to take this seriously? C'mon, focus up," and you knew he was right so you straightened up and pressed your eye against the scope once again.
Joel stayed behind you, his hands on your shoulders to help stabilize your upper body as you squeezed off shot after shot. His advice helped a little, you were at least hitting the paper, but you weren't getting anywhere near his shots from earlier. He could see you were growing frustrated so when you ran out of bullets, he took the rifle and told you to take a break while he reloaded.
"It's okay, darlin'. It's gonna take a bit to get used to it."
You sighed and slumped forward on the tree trunk. "Yeah, I guess," you mumbled.
For the next twenty minutes, Joel coached you while you struggled to remember all his advice at once. Keep your shoulders loose. Don't flinch. Follow through. Breathe. When you pulled the last round into the chamber and took aim, you expected it to go like all the others so you stopped worrying about it and just pulled the trigger.
"Holy shit, you did it!" Joel exclaimed excitedly. You hadn't even bothered to look, so you quickly brought the scope back up to your face. When you saw the small little circle burning a hole through the paper, nearly dead center, you squealed and quickly placed the rifle against the tree so you could jump into Joel's arms. He wrapped his arms around your ribs and spun you around while you giggled into his neck.
"Told you," he said with a wide grin after he put you back down. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him into you, crashing your lips together, taking him by surprise. He stumbled forward but wrapped a hand around the back of your neck just as you lost your own footing and fell onto the grass, dragging him down with you.
You laughed against his mouth, still peppering kisses all over his face. He braced both arms on either side of you, elbows digging into the warm grass, smile permanently stretching across his cheeks as he soaked up your affection.
When your laughter died down, you pulled away to gaze up at him, your fingers playing with the dark curls at the base of his neck. The sun was shining over the field and onto his tanned skin, making his sparkling brown eyes look like the color of gold. It took your breath away.
"You're so handsome," you whispered in awe, your fingers leaving his hair in favor of stroking the graying stubble dusting his cheeks. He blushed and shook his head, but before he could protest, you spoke again. "I love you so much, Joel. Sometimes it makes me sad to think we probably wouldn't have ever known each other if the world didn't end."
His eyes softened and he gave you a small smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "I'll always find you. In every life, in every universe. You've got a piece of me," he tapped your chest lightly, "I don't make the rules."
You laughed and laced your fingers together with his. "Like fate?"
He shrugged. "Call it whatever you want. I already told you, sweetheart. We're meant to be together."
You pulled him down for another kiss, this one more gentle. More loving. More intimate. For the hundredth time, you mentally berated yourself for wasting so much time after your accident when you could have been with him like this, being loved and adored and cherished all along. Instead, you both had been searching endlessly for some version of yourself that you weren't sure you would ever find again. But then you realized if you never did, that was okay. Because you got to fall in love with each other all over again, and how many people get to say that?
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hareofhrair · 11 months ago
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I wanted to put this one the previous post but it was long and this is a tangent but- In regards to the hypothetical "If House was my doctor I'd just tell him everything. Rip to all his other patients but I'm different."
The whole point of the show is that you wouldn't. Like a major theme of the show is about how the various shames and stigmas and habitual dishonesties that plague our societies both metaphorically and literally kill us. "Everybody lies" isn't just a cynical catchphrase, it's the shows thesis. Because of how we operate as a society, everyone feels compelled to suppress and hide things and that inevitably leads to suffering.
And there are plenty of episodes where this is obvious, ie "I cheated on my partner and gave them an STD." But there's also much more of "This little girl went through early puberty and because of the way our society stigmatizes women's bodies her single father never discussed puberty with her and she was so afraid and ashamed of her new pubic hair that she tried to shave it without telling anyone and mutilated herself, leading everyone to think she'd been abused and throwing off the whole case until House figured out her hormones were going crazy because she'd been exposed to her father's low T medicine, which he hid because of how our society regards masculinity, which he started taking because he began dating a younger woman (because of shame stemming from our society's unrealistic expectations wrt sex in relationships) which he was hiding from his kids, because of shame regarding our societies toxic views on monogamy."
A particular episode stands out as a really good example. S06E15 "Private Lives," which aired in 2010 but was fairly prescient about where social media was heading. The patient was a blogger who documented literally every moment of every day for her followers. She made it very clear she left *nothing* out, from her and her boyfriend's sex life to, eventually, asking for feedback from her followers on whether to get her heart valve replaced with one from a pig or a "vegan" plastic one. She handed the whole blog over to House as soon as he took the case and the team poured through the whole thing. Surely this is proof you're wrong about everybody lying, the team says to House. She's give us her whole life and you still can't find out what's wrong! Spoiler, it turned out the crucial symptom that allowed House to put it all together? Was the one thing she *didn't* include in the blog- Her bowel movements. Shame and stigma around talking about *poop* nearly killed this woman. It was also a detail that should have been picked up immediately by a normal doctor, who would have asked about her bowel movements as part of the standard checklist of diagnostic questions. But this woman was so confident that she'd laid out every relevant detail of her life in her blog, she wouldn't answer those questions, obfuscating what she was actually ashamed of underneath a pile of curated, rationalized, narritivized junk she could pretend was proof of a lack of shame and not simply a skill at creative writing.
When I say "I'd just tell House everything" is ridiculous, I don't just mean "well, because of the way the show works, you HAVE to be hiding SOMETHING." I mean literally, you- because you are a human being- are ashamed of *something.* And because you are a human being, the more info you try to give House the more deeply you will bury whatever it is you're actually ashamed of. And, because of the way the show works, that *will* end up being the key to what's making you sick.
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a-hazbin-reader · 11 months ago
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Violence, Kidnapping, Alastor eating bitches
Description: Alastor's X Wife!Reader who gets kidnapped and how he deals with that
Alastor's relationship with you is a strong one, the two of of you drawn to each other in an almost supernatural way
But you also trust each other's strengths and aren't prone to stepping in each other's fights
Regardless of how powerful you are
I got your pinkie fingers bby go kick his ass
Holds your shopping bags for you while you go kick ass
Unless of course you ask him to
He likes it when you fix his hair afterwards, preening like a giant rooster as you do
THE POINT IS-
It's not like Alastor spends all his time glued to your hip or sending you out with bodyguards
You can take a damn walk by yourself
You do have a target on back though, if not because of your own strength/actions, then because of your husband
So it's not unusual when someone tries to pick a fight with you
But when you're suddenly ambushed and kidnapped, against the fact that you fought hard to avoid it
Fucking holy weapons
That's new
Well I suppose you'll just have to wait for your husband to come and get you out of this mess
*spits out blood*
Not you bragging about how fucked your kidnappers are once Alastor gets there
He's already going to be mad that they kidnapped his wife, but the fact that they've now put hands on you??? Made you bleed???
Oh they're so fucked
So just sit back and look pretty while you wait for your boo to come and rescue you
And you do look pretty
Keep your damn hands off
Alastor knows something is up when you don't come home, knows that someone must've gotten to you
If the old geezer watched tv maybe he would've known a little sooner
Maybe he would've known that your little fight made the news
Tf was he gonna do?? Wait for it to show up in the papers??
BREAKING NEWS!! RADIO DEMON'S BABE WIFE GETS KIDNAPPED AFTER EPIC BATTLE!
But when Angel shows him that you've been kidnapped Alastor literally just-
Makes this face:
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Oh he's getting his wife back
RIP Angel's phone 😭
He's visibly very calm about the whole thing though, which makes the others even more worried
"Well then! I suppose I'll have to get Y/N back myself, won't I? You all wait here, I won't be long now~"
Alastor does give them a chance to give you back before he comes and hunts them down
It's one of the most terrifying radio broadcasts people have listened to but this is his WIFE we're talking about
On the inside he is VERY ANGRY
Even if they do bring you back he still eats them
Fuck them he never promised them anything
They took and HURT HIS WIFE
If they don't bring you back then they're going to be subjected to slaughter like they've never known before being eaten
Not him using his massive demonic form to rip apart their safe house
Anyone who doesn't know Alastor like you do will think he's being surprisingly playful about it all
But as his wifers you know he's raging by the look in his eyes 👀 not merely playing with his food
Not wifey just sitting back and admiring Alastor while he works 💅✨️
Damn this is really doing it for me
Admires how elegantly you stretch and rub your wrists after your bindings are undone, so graceful even after taking a beating
"Thank you, Alastor~ Right on time as always~"
He begs to differ
"Anything for you, my dear."
Won't really look at you until you grab his chin and force him to, Alastor giving you a guilty smile
Le kiss
Leans in to touch foreheads with you, the two of relaxing in each other's arms amongst the carnage
Casually licks the blood off your face to ruin the moment before taking your arm
"Now let's get you home, my darling~"
Doesn't leave you alone for the rest of the night, trying to hide the fact that he's fretting over you
You want to take a bath and get cleaned up? He'll help you!
You want to lay down and rest after a stressful day? He's actually pretty tired too so you two should go to bed together
Will 100% broadcast their screaming souls as a warning to anyone else who wants to try that little stunt again
Falls asleep to it actually, one arm wrapped around you as he drifts off so that when he wakes up, he'll know you're right there with him
He doesn't think any less of you, he's been beat before too
Don't remind him
Will absolutely call himself your hero for like a week straight and land himself in the doghouse by the end of it
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
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you and me got a whole lotta history | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x historian!reader
y/n is a historian and it’s not her fault her bf’s job takes him all around the world…
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 102,561 others
location: melbourne 📍
yourusername: so it’s the australian grand prix and i’ve spent the start of the week exploring this old city. one of my stops was the historic old melbourne gaol. this now museum was once a prison that housed some of the most feared criminals in australian history. constructed in 1839, the old melbourne gaol saw 133 hanged for their crimes between 1845 and 1924. it was briefly used during world war two but ceased operation as a prison in 1924 and was renovated to be part of the RMIT university and the museum it is today. a definite must if you’re visiting melbourne !!
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user1: my fave part of the race week is y/n’s museum recommendations tbf
user2: i can vision charles being dragged around this place hating his life
charles_leclerc: the things we do for love
yourusername: you said you enjoyed it :(
charles_leclerc: I DID
user2: oops
yourusername: i’ll leave you at the hotel next time
charles_leclerc: it was scary but i enjoyed it because i was with you
yourusername: okay that’s better
danielricciardo: so my farm isn’t good enough for you
yourusername: noooooo danny i thought we were going after the race?
danielricciardo: oof my bad
user3: petition for there to be a teds notebook but it’s y/n giving us a historical guide to the city the race is in
f1: we’re listening @skysportsf1
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderica ferrari and 788,341 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: tough race in melbourne but a beautiful city regardless
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user4: HE served, we don’t talk about the race
yourusername: i don’t mean to say i told you so but i did say our day trip would be the best part
user5: girl you’re gonna get banned from the ferrari garage
yourusername: they deserve far worse than what i’m saying let’s be real
user5: true
user6: i love how charles didn’t reply ferrari has his ass ON LOCK
carlossainz55: we'll come back stronger
danielricciardo: we can all commiserate at my farm bro
charles_leclerc: your farm better be as good as you're saying now
danielricciardo: nervously awaiting the y/n review
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 104,561 others
location: miami 📍
yourusername: though miami may be known for it's partying (it's all about the U), charles and i took our monday to take a stroll around st bernard de clairvaux church, one of miami's hidden gems. the church was originally built in spain all the way back in 1141 to the style of cistercian romanesque architecture for alfonso vii. the monastry's cloister was illegally purchased by american william randolph hearst in 1926 and in order for the church to be transported it was dismantled to 11,000 pieces and sent to the us where it was rebuilt and still stands to this day.
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user7: i'm never gonna be able to afford to go to miami so why did i read this whole thing like i'll visit some day?
yourusername: history is important and interesting, always good to read even if you never visit !!
user8: she's like the older sister i never had
user9: did charles enjoy this one more?
yourusername: "at least i'll get a tan here"
charles_leclerc: i feel like anyone who reads about me in your comments will think i'm an asshole, i have fun every time i just don't understand most of it
yourusername: i know you have fun baby (and i love you for driving us to all of these places)
user10: have you considered our super historic frat house this saturday night?
user11: imagine thinking you have a chance when her literal boyf is CHARLES LECLERC
user10: every goal has a goalkeeper doesn't mean you can't score
charles_leclerc: i will run you over
user12: omg ferrari's pr is quaking
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, lancestroll and 112,677 others
yourusername: it is my biggest honour to announce my position as a history lecturer here at oxford!! i always dreamed of studying here and to get to pass on my knowledge to those looking to follow in my footsteps is a huge pleasure and responsibility.
p.s. no worries, it is not full time so race week explorations will continue.
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user13: so it was true :(((((( wait i just read the whole post my bad
user14: so i guess i now need to turn my Cs into As if i wanna attend a y/n lecture
charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you my love - don't miss me too much
yourusername: you sure i can't persuade you to move to england with me :(
charles_leclerc: i'll be there as much as i can be but monaco is still our home
yourusername: always
landonorris: proud of you smarty pants
yourusername: thank you landito
landonorris: so you'll now root for the brits?
charles_leclerc: over my dead body
yourusername: what charlie said
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,209,778 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: super happy for another win for the season but we keep pushing for the real prize at the end of the season - thank you for your continued support tifosi and my love y/n who stayed up all the way in oxford ❤️
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user20: i don't wanna jinx it but like the season is going well
user21: too well....
yourusername: winning looks good on you
charles_leclerc: you look better on me
pierregasly: oh god you've been apart for a triple header and now you're being horny on main
yourusername: says mr. doggy emoji
pierregasly: touche
user22: so charles can mathematically win in either austin or brazil FUCK THEM KIDS I NEED Y/N AT THESE RACES
user23: if she's not there for charles wdc i am personally going to have a sleepover on the train tracks
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yourusername added to their story
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 503,786 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: the autodromo jose carlos pace is the crown jewel of the interlagos neighbourhood. the circuit opened 83 years ago and has hosted the f1 since 1972. the circuit was originally meant to be a housing area but due to the 1929 stock market crash the owners decided to construct a racing track instead. interlagos is often a season decider with fernando alonso winning both his 2005 and 2006 titles here, kimi raikkonen winning the 2007 championship here, lewis hamilton won the 2008 championship here, jenson button clinched the 2009 title here and CHARLES LECLERC WON HIS FIRST TITLE HERE IN INTERLAGOS FOR THE 2023 SEASON
on a real note i am so proud of you charles, i have seen the sacrifices you have made and the unbelievable amount of effort you pour into every facet of your racing NO ONE deserves this more than you. i am so grateful to have shared this moment with you, here's to many more xxx
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user26: i am unwell this is so fucking cute
user27: bro this is so fucking crazy
charles_leclerc: couldn't have done it without you, so glad you could be there for me xx
yourusername: always charlie xx
yourstudent: miss y/n you can cancel all of our lectures if charles wins the championship again FORZA FERRARI
charles_leclerc: the people have spoken
user28: insane butterfly effect of the wall street crash to charles leclerc 2023 wdc
user29: they make me believe in love
note: this was super random but popped into my head while at work and i knew i had to write it !! hope you enjoyed xx
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cxffecoupx · 6 months ago
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when you get drunk
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seventeen × gn reader crack mostly, kinda fluff (somewhere) warnings: mentions of alcohol, being drunk, reader is absolutely wasted, calling reader 'stupid' once wc: 1.1k author's notes: requested; thank you anon!! this was something i made space in the drafts for but never completed lmao. i'm not very proud of this, but i hope you enjoy :)
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➼ choi seungcheol
in the unlikely event that he is not drunk (the chances are quite less though), he's just happy that he gets to take care of you. something he hasn't noticed before (because, like previously stated, he's just as drunk), is that you babble a lot more when you're drunk, and you babble utter nonsense. so, he's more than happy to come and pick your drunk self up and take you home, coerce you to drink two or more glasses of water, change your clothes and get you to bed, all the while you're just chattering away about how the random dog you saw on the way is now the ceo of the company that sells hats made of blueberries. seungcheol smiles. obviously you make no sense, but he would willingly stay up to listen to your nonsense.
➼ yoon jeonghan
sneaky lil shit. already has a shit-eating grin when he realises you're home drunk. how you reached there is no concern to him now that you're home and you're absolutely wasted, stumbling over air and hugging the coat hanging nearby thinking it was him. he doubles over in laughter, but not before he runs to get his phone because this is blackmail material. he comes back just in time to see you attempt to kiss the jacket. after he's got all the footage he needs, he gently pulls you to him and drags you upstairs, changes your clothes and makes you drink a glass of water before climbing into bed with you. what hurts more than the headache next morning is having to watch the video he took, and you mentally decide to buy a shovel to dig your grave.
➼ hong jisoo
absolute gentleman. already worried when he gets a call saying you're wasted af. rushes over to where you are, softly talks you into getting into the car and takes you back home. giggles when you become extra touchy with him, but he manages to get you hydrated, changed and ready for bed. hell, he even removes all the makeup thoroughly before getting you into bed. how he does that, you don't know. but you're forever grateful for him.
➼ moon junhui
he'd be so surprised when you stumble into the house with no coherent thoughts. he'd run to you and hold you before you crash into the wall or faceplant yourself onto the floor. he's laughing at your mindless antics and jokes but sits you down with a bottle of water and listens to everything you say, even though it makes zero sense. soon, you fall asleep and he takes you to bed, changes your clothes if it's possible, and gets in bed with you. wakes up early next day to make you his special hangover soup.
➼ kwon soonyoung
you're the one who's drunk, but he's the one who seems like it lmao. he'd be jumping around with you, excitedly talking with you and listening to you talk. you're both literally blabbering over each other. in case there's anyone around you, they'd definitely be eyeing you both. probably end up staying awake till late, talking about all the things under the sun. you both wake up next morning on the couch, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other.
➼ jeon wonwoo
super concerned and super clueless. does not know what to do when you show up tipsy. you just get more energetic when he tries to take care of you, so he has to beg you to cooperate with him right now. does it help though? of course not. gives you some medicine to prevent hangover, makes you drink water, and waits for you to slowly fall asleep on the couch before picking you up and putting you to bed.
➼ lee jihoon
he refrains from drinking, but he sure knows how to take care of your drunk self. silently watches your antics from the corner of the room and smiles thinking how'd he get so attached to the dork that's in front of him right now. when he's sure that you've tired yourself out, he pushes you towards the washroom to wash up, but eventually sighs and helps you when he hears the chaos in there. side-hugs you while you lean onto him as he's taking you to the bed and although he's got a bit more work to wrap up before sleep, he finds it hard to resist your puppy eyes that insists on cuddling.
➼ lee seokmin
becomes so excited seeing you like this. kinda like hoshi; you're the one who's drunk but he's the one who seems like it. asks you all about your evening and what you did and what you drank. takes mental note of trying the brand and type you mentioned as being really good. might even suggest opening a bottle right then and there. needless to say, you fall asleep holding the bottle, and he falls asleep holding you.
➼ kim mingyu
endeared by you. literally melts into a puddle seeing how much of a stupid you become while drunk because to him, you look like the most adorable thing on the earth. cups your cheek and presses a loud smooch on your cheeks because that's how much of a simp he is right now. happily listens to your rants while he's washing you up, dressing you in your pajamas and making you drink water. even after you're both in bed, he's turned to your side, watching your eyes glisten. it's the alcohol, he knows that. but something about you being so out of your mind right now just makes him giggle in love.
➼ xu minghao
lowkey judges you. he knows that you know your alcohol tolerance. he doesnt understand why you would go beyond that. is also done with all the bullshit you pull at him, but he eases a while later and next thing he knows, he's laughing along with you. keeps repeatedly telling you to wash up because you dont listen the first few times. when he returns with hangover medicines and water, he smiles seeing you curled up in the middle of the bed.
➼ boo seungkwan
highkey judges you. literally seats you on the couch and starts nagging about how you cant tolerate alcohol. and then sidles up to you to hear all the gossip you have to spill about the girl gang meeting that you came from. wakes up in the morning after he falls from somewhere; thats when he realises that you both fell asleep on the couch.
➼ chwe hansol
man was sleeping when you returned home. you'll be lucky if he woke up. has got no clue what to do, so just ends up standing there and listening to your yapping.
➼ lee chan
"jeonghan hyung? can you come over? i need help."
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gguk-n · 5 months ago
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Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations
Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)
Series Masterlist
Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.
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{Reader's POV}
12/07/2012
Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.
02/01/2013
OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.
I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.
My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.
So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.
After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.
Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.
18/12/2013
Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!
I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.
04/03/2014
Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.
Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.
We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.
After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.
17/05/2015
Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.
09/08/2015
This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.
[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]
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miyaoniku · 5 months ago
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[suna rintaro] how you get together / dating headcanons
[author: chae]
a/n: brainrot because haikyuu is back and so am i (hopefully).
[fluff] [headcanon]
[suna rintaro x reader]
nothing crazy really
you first met suna rintaro in middle school
he sat behind you and often slept in class
you found out that you lived a few houses down from him when he went on his first away game for volleyball, and your homeroom teacher tasked you with delivering his assignments to his home
that's really it honestly
you didn't really interact with him much in middle school
though, after your second year, you had to move due to your parents' having to relocate for work
and that's how you ended up at inarizaki high school
little did you know that you would see suna again in your class on your first day at inarizaki!
morning of the first day, you walked into the classroom and saw someone napping in the last seat in one of the rows
it was a nostalgic sight, you thought, but there's noooo way that it's suna rintaro! he's all the way in another prefecture!
you pick the seat in front of him because you thought it was funny
your homeroom teacher started taking attendance
"suna rintaro?"
"here"
suna??
rintaro???
from middle school?????
right when the lunch bell rang, you turned around
"hey"
he looked at you
"...do i know you?"
"yeah? i think? are you from aichi prefecture?"
"yeah? .... wait didn't we go to the same middle school?"
turns out he was scouted to come to inarizaki to play volleyball
small world!
you exchange numbers and start actually hanging out, as opposed to middle school
though, some things don't change as he still sleeps in class and you still have to give him his homework when he has volleyball games
you two have lunch together, sometimes being joined by miya osamu, and play cup pong
your friendship MIGHT be on the line whenever you play 8ball
"i swear to god if you pick that one-"
"what? you'll chuck my phone across the room?"
"DON'T TEST ME SUNA RINTARO."
you send each other WAYYYYYYY too many memes
like, it's to the point where your memes outnumber your actual texts
the instagram reels you send each other go crazy sometimes
like it can range from anywhere between kirby memes to rick rolls to posts that poke fun at each other
he's honestly just a really funny friend, and you never thought anything of it
it wasn't until one day during your club activities where you and a few of your friends were chatting that you ever considered looking at suna romantically
they were talking about their own crushes and asked if anyone caught your eye
and when you responded "no," they brought up suna's name
and the idea was bizarre to you
like you?? and suna??? together???? more than friends?????
this guy literally sends you patrick star memes at 2am and asks "this you?"
pshhh impossible no way
but... you can't really stop thinking about it
because wHAT IF HE'S TREATING YOU LIKE THIS BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU????
anyways!
you start noticing the little things he does for you, like getting you your go-to drink/bread for lunch without asking you, or giving you random head pats, or him coming over to your house on a stormy day when you're alone in the house to keep you company
you stare up at your ceiling, deep in thought
no y/n, stop getting delusional. he doesn't like you like that.
you have a bigger problem at hand
the school dance is tonight
and you have NO ONE to go with!!!
you feel your phone vibrate
it's a text from suna
"open the door"
you raise an eyebrow when you open the door to see suna staring at his phone in front of you
he looks up, types something on his phone, and looks back up to you again
you feel your phone vibrate, and look at what it was this time
"wanna go together?"
you look back up in surprise, only to see him holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers up in front of you
he had his head turned away, but you saw the way the tips of his ears turned red
you felt your cheeks turn scarlet as you took the flowers from him and gave him a hug
he simply patted your head and gave you a small smile
this guy, who sends you memes at the most strangest of hours, MIGHT have a crush on you
and you MIGHT like him back
you two don't make it official until after he brought you back home
he texted you when he got back home and when he was going to bed
but not without sending one last meme for the night
it was an image of kirby looking out the window with a sad expression with the caption: "me when i miss u"
you liked the message and typed out a response, lingering on the send button for a bit before sucking it up and pressing send
"soooo when are you gonna ask me?"
he responded with another kirby meme, this time of angy kirby with hearts around his head
"be my gf?"
nothing between you and suna changed much
he isn't really an affectionate guy, but his actions speak volumes
lunch with him is still the same, and he still gives you little head pats whenever he feels like it
its just that now, he brings you closer and rests his chin on your head whenever he stands around you
sometimes he wraps his arms around you!!!
he rests his head on your shoulder when he naps during train rides
his favorite passtime is to take naps with you in his arms
he gives you a little forehead kiss and mumbles a "love you" before he drifts off
and you just snuggle into him and drift off as well
he's like a teddy bear please hang onto him QwQ
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pyrodolls · 7 months ago
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SUPERFAN! AND STALKER! YANDERE BOYS X READER HCS
WARNINGS: obsessiveness, sfw, murder, mentions of corpses, just overall unhealthy behavior cuz they're yanderes. (i do not condone yanderes irl and this is for writing purposes) gender neutral reader, no use of y/n.
A/N: guys idk why i havent updated in so long. ig i just havent had much motivation?? anyways ummm i'm still super busy right now and i have 400 assignments due in 3 days but i don't wanna do them soooooo how about i write some short and cute headcanons for y'all? 😁
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if bayani was a puppy hybrid...
clingy clingy CLINGY
bros going wherever you go. even if u gotta take a piss he's gonna hold your hand. wait, you don't want him in the bathroom with you? at least let him sit outside!
he is very easy to distract, though. if you ever want to be alone for a while but he just won't leave your side, throw a tennis ball somewhere and it should keep him busy for a solid 10 minutes.
loves snuggling with you. he literally distracts you and takes up at LEAST one hour every morning trying to keep you in bed with him. if you leave him alone in bed, he'll be whining until you come back.
he's also very talkative, and always yapping your ear off about random nonsense, until you tell him to shut up. problem is, if you tell him to shut up, he isn't going to open his mouth again for a few days. he'll be very sulky about it and look up at you with those big puppy dog eyes of his, silently hoping you'll allow him to speak again. as much as he loves hearing you yell at him, he still doesn't want you to be mad at him for long periods of time.
he'll eat anything you cook. you could be the worst cook in the world and burn your dish to a crisp, and he'd still eat it up like it's nobody's business. he doesn't even notice if it's well cooked or not, he sees anything you create as a masterpiece.
but this also means he's like a guard dog! even though he is quite small and his face isn't very intimidating, he tries! he goes to the gym frequently so he can be stronger for you. he wants to be able to defend you if anything goes wrong.
he is very patient. if you have any work or assignments you need to get done, he'll sit and wait however long you need him to. he'll even bring you beverages and snacks so you can keep working without getting up.
overall, he has some similar traits to a puppy, but he's still the same optimistic (and obsessive) bayani.
if victor was a cat hybrid...
LMFAOOO good luck getting away from him.
bros a silent killer. he watches from afar. if you happen to feel his eyes staring at the back of your head, and you look to see if your feeling is correct, he'll snap his head the other direction so you don't suspect a thing.
he follows you around, but unlike bayani, he wouldn't stop if you asked him to. and he isn't in your personal space, he is much farther away so it's harder to tell when he's tailing after you.
and like a cat, he proudly brings you dead things and is convinced that you would like it. usually he kills anyone that seems to be too close to you, and shows it off like a trophy of his affection and strength.
victor would kill someone and be like: "this week's new corpse looks awesome. they'll totally love this, i gotta show them!" (you did not, in fact, love seeing the rotting corpse of your friend on your doorstep.)
he guards your house as if he's a soldier at war. if he sees anyone break in, or if it's an insect that happened to fly in through your vents, he'll eliminate the threat before you even notice it.
he's also quite moody. sometimes he's affectionate and kind to you, then the next minute he'll act like a brat and expect you to cook and clean for him.
and if you called him out on his behavior, he'll act all pouty and mutter: "i don't do that.." then he'd get up and silently do some chores around the house as an apology. if you brought up his acts of service, he'll get flustered and say you were "too lazy to do it yourself" or something along those lines.
overall, he's quiet, moody, and does things his own way. unlike bayani, victor doesn't do anything you ask him to do, but he still shows his affection for you in his own subtle ways.
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