#i literally did this whole set in an hour last night because its so hard to find full ep dls | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starcrossedxwriter · 1 year ago

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Date Night (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

Warnings: it's just our favs being horny as hell lol NSFW

A/N: Fluff was requested because of what I put y'all through in Part 9 lmaoooo so here you go! Enjoyyyyyyy!

“What do you think?” Charlotte spun around in her third outfit of the night. She did a couple fake model poses as if she were in front of a photographer.

Michael glanced up from his cell phone, a whistle escaping his lips. He was already dressed, a graphic tee, black jeans, jacket and boots. He had been ready for the last 30 minutes. His girlfriend, however, had brought half her closet to his house and between those clothes and the ones she kept there, she still could not decide on an outfit.

“Sexy as fuck… just like the last two outfits. We gotta go soon if we actually want to make the game.”

She turned in the mirror, ignoring his urges to hurry. “None of these are good. I dunno. I think this makes me look a little pudgy. These jeans barely fit anymore. Look at my legs… short and stubby… And my waist is huge.” She gestured down at her body, which had gotten a bit thicker since Michael first met her. But unlike Charlotte, he loved it. Relationship weight, happy weight, looked damn good on her.

“I like it, your body looks great. Just gives me something good to grip when I’m fuckin’ you from the back.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled at him, “You are so vulgar for no reason,” she laughed. “Ugh.” She stepped out of her jeans and threw the sweater onto the bed.

“And you won’t be saying that when I get fat… then you won’t be attracted to me anymore and you’ll be dragging me to the gym with you,” she mumbled as she walked into his massive closet and went to her side. Michael had cleared out a nice section for her to keep clothes there, making it far easier for her to stay as many nights as she wanted without having to pack a new bag. “It’s just our first date at a public event since the premiere. I wanna look nice.”

“That’ll literally never happen. You’re sexy at any size and every outfit you’ve put on since you started getting dressed an hour ago. But if you need help choosing,” he jumped off the bed and jogged to her side, pulling out a black mini dress she had in the closet. “This dress with those thigh high boots, andddd,” he jumped off the bed and jogged to his side of the closet before pulling out a dusty rose colored bomber jacket that matched one of the many colors in his t-shirt. “This. I bought it during filming so it’ll be oversized.”

She raised her eyebrow before stepping into the fourth outfit. Even she could not deny that she looked damn good. The dress accentuated her shape and curves, the boots made her legs look longer, and the jacket pulled the whole look together. It was clearly a men’s jacket, which she knew would turn a head or two, but its oversized nature made her look chic and cozy. And their coordination was just subtle enough that it wouldn’t look like they tried too hard.

“What do you think?”

“You look better in that jacket than I did,” he remarked as she stood in front of the mirror. “Sexy and sleek. Comfy and will look good in photos court side.”

“Look at you. A secret stylist too?? I might have to keep you around, Mr. Jordan,” she mused, her hands working to put on her earrings. with a playful smile as he grabbed her hips and watched her.

“That’s the plan, beautiful. You know what would look good with that dress?”

“Hmm? More of your clothes?”

Michael produced a thin Tiffany blue box, a perfectly tied white ribbon and bow surrounding it.

“What’s this?” Charlotte moaned pitifully, her heart soaring at his thoughtfulness. “It’s not my birthday o-or Christmas or anything.”

He shrugged. “I don’t need a special day to give you a gift. I just saw it and thought you’d like it.”

You couldn’t have wiped the smile off of her face as she opened the delicate box to reveal a rose gold necklace. The diamond pendant set at the center was large and beautiful but the whole piece still had a certain understated quality about it. It was not gaudy and loud but it still drew your eye like moths to flames. She was surprised at how well he knew her style. She was not even a big jewelry wearer on an everyday basis but it fit the simplistic vibe of the jewelry she did own and was subtle enough that she did not need a special occasion to put it on.

“Bakari,” she took a sharp breath. “I-It’s beautiful. Bu-”

He immediately shook his head. He was still trying to get Charlotte to accept him spoiling her without questions. “No buts. You like it?”

“I l-love it. It’s amazing and so timeless. It’s perfect.”

“That’s all I need to hear. Turn around for me.” She turned to face the mirror again, her eyes trained on his hands as he placed it around her neck and fastened it for her.

Her hand immediately went to caress the pendant, studying the most expensive piece of jewelry she had ever had in her possession.

“It’s…” she was at a loss for words as she looked at herself.

Michael pressed a soft kiss to the back of her neck before he let her curls fall back into place. “Perfect.”

She turned back to face him, his hand adjusting the piece on her chest.

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

His fingers lingered on her skin for a moment, her breath hiking slightly. She leaned in and kissed him, the pair’s lips and hands exploring each other as he lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bed.

“W-what about the g-game?” She asked in a teasing tone as he tossed her down. “Weren’t you j-just rushing me about being late?”

He smirked at her as he hooked his hands on the fabric on her thong and pulled it to her knees.

“You want me to stop?”

Cocky mother fucker, she thought to herself. He knew exactly what she wanted him to do. Feast on her, love on her, send her to other dimensions. However, she merely gave him a noncommittal shrug that she knew would rile him up, pretending she did not care if their quickie continued or ended.

“Oh really? Aight, ma,” he muttered as he dove between her legs.

Charlotte’s thighs clamped around his head as he slid two fingers into her pussy, which was already dripping with need.

“F-fuck!” She cried out as he curled his fingers into her g-spot, his tongue spelling out his name against her clit. He pulled out every trick he knew, every action he knew turned her into a blubbering weeping mess. And it was not his usual slow build, he hit the gas pedal hard, going 0 to 100 in seconds. “J-just like that… fuck. I l-love it.”

However, Michael was, too, in a teasing sort of mood. The moment he noticed her telltale signs of cumming, he slowed down, stealing her orgasm from her. The first time, she merely groaned, realizing his game fairly quickly. An expletive or two might’ve slipped, her words calling him a few colorful names. But she refused to back down. She knew what he wanted and she was convinced she would not cave.

However, what she did not account for was how much stronger the sensations would feel every time he restarted. Each flick of his tongue and stroke of his finger felt amplified by 10. She bit down on her lip to keep the pleas from falling from the tip of her tongue.

She knew when he finally let her cum, it would be heavenly but the build up was nothing short of torture. Glorious torture… the type she would gladly sign up for again and again but torture nonetheless. However, when he stole her orgasm from her the third time, all that ego and pride flew out the window.

“B-Baby, p-please,” she begged as he brought her to the edge and slowed for the third time. Tears started to spring to her eyes as he detached his lips from her clit.

“You want me to stop?” He asked again as his hands continued fucking her, slow and deliberate, this time knowing exactly what the answer would be. She rocked her hips to meet every thrust, her mind wishing she would will him to speed up, add another finger, or fuck her harder. However, it wasn’t enough. She knew she would have to give in. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“N-No. D-don’t stop… P-please don’t stop,” she begged, a loud sigh of relief escaping her as he devoured her clit once again. And this time, he did not stop.

Her hands gripped the comforter on his bed, the fabric bunching up in her hands as he finally took her all the way to her peak. He was a God carrying her to Mt. Olympus and she wished she could stay in that moment forever.

A gentle tap to her thigh brought her back to Earth and reminded her to release him from the confines of her thighs.

“S-sorry,” she whispered.

He shook his head as he leaned over her lucid body and kissed her. “That’d be my preferred way to die, if you were wondering.”

“Noted.” His hands grabbed her arms and helped pull her up so she could stand.

“You ready?”

Her eyes grew wide and her jaw fell. She assumed the game was a thing of the past. “You still expect me to go to the game after that??” She gestured toward the bed.

“Yes, and there’s more of that when we get back.”

She wiggled her eyebrows. She did not much care about this basketball game but she most certainly liked the sound of that.

***

Charlotte stayed close to Michael as he weaved them through the crowded stadium. She had never been to a basketball game in person but she had certainly never expected to go to one like this. Security escorted them through back doors and hallways directly to their seats, they did not even get to see the stadium. She had to keep reminding herself that while the perks of fame were new to her, they wasn’t to her boyfriend.

She appreciated that Michael could tell she was a bit overwhelmed. Their hands stayed interlocked, his body close to hers as security directed them. She did not think his sexiness could increase in her eyes but in this light, it did. He was a true Hollywood star. It radiated off him, seas parted as he walked, she watched as he drew the eye of almost every woman they passed by. And it was effortless for him.

By the time they reached their seats, Charlotte was so taken and turned on by his energy that she did not really care to watch the game at all. She wanted to drag him back to his place and finish what they started before they left.

She tried to resist it, resist the way lust always curled in her belly at his smirks and playful glances her way and his touch. Fuck… his hands. Even the most mundane, chaste of touches sent jolts of pleasure and longing through her body that made her want to rip his clothes off. She was just overwhelmed at times by her lust for him. It seemed to never end and was never satiated. But thankfully, she knew it was not one-sided. He seemed just as smitten and taken by her, just as turned on by the simplest of tasks, looks, and touches.

However, one downside of fame was that she had to, at least, appear as though she was not fucking him with her eyes every five seconds. She knew they’d be on camera throughout the night, which meant a level of decorum was required of them both. However, in this honeymoon stage of their relationship where lust and longing were at their peak, decorum was a feat in and of itself.

“This your first Lakers game, right?”

“My first NBA game at all, any team. Another first for you to collect. I’m excited. Don’t really understand it though…”

“Well good thing you got an expert with you.”

She nodded and pecked him on the lips. “Good thing I do.”

Charlotte’s body leaned into his as they settled into the game, one of his arms on the back of her seat while the other rested across her thighs. His hand gripped the meat of her outer thigh and rubbed the soft exposed skin throughout the game. Every so often, he’d lean over and whisper facts or explain things in her ear, his basketball and Lakers knowledge appeared limitless.

She settled back and watched the game and watched Michael and Kevin Hart who sat next to her. They were both thoroughly invested in the game in a way Charlotte was not but found more entertaining to watch than the game itself. They were hilarious and animated, acting as if they were coaches on the sideline instead of spectators. But she imagined it felt that way to them watching from their seats, up close and personal.

Michael’s tutorials throughout the game did not stick, Charlotte too taken by his voice and the discreet but sensual touches on her thigh to retain any of the information coming out of his mouth. By the time halftime started, she realized she had little to no idea what was even happening in front of her as her mind had floated away thinking about the bliss that awaited her when she and Michael finally got home.

They both started chatting and joking around with Kevin Hart and his date as halftime progressed, their conversation cut short by cheering throughout the crowd. The two couples glanced up to find the Kiss Cam on the Jumbotron. It caught a few unsuspecting couples, each one playing along and offering a very cute but conservative kiss for the cameras.

“Awwww… they’re really cute,” Charlotte whispered to Michael, pointing at one elderly couple.

However, she was shocked to look up again and find the camera suddenly on them, the Jumbotron already having their names across the bottom of the screen.

Michael leaned in and whispered, “What do you say we give ‘em a show?”

She pretended to contemplate as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to kiss him, which made him scrunch his face up in faux offense. She laughed and gave him a quick peck before the announcer called out their chaste kiss.

“You two can do better than that!”

Michael’s finger went to her chin, lifting her gaze to his, before he grinned and pressed his lips against hers. It was sensual and slow but still tamed as he knew the entire stadium watched. However, she savored the few seconds it lasted. His lips lingered against hers for a moment, such a featherlike touch that let her know he was exercising extreme control and restraint.

Her legs tightened together as they pulled away, offering a polite wave to the crowd before the camera moved on to spotlight another couple.

“What’d you say we get outta here before the fourth quarter?” He whispered in her ear, his intentions clear with every word.

“I’d say even that’s too long but I’ll manage.”

“Y’all two are nasty,” Kevin remarked, teasing the couple, which caused both of them to turn their heads in embarrassment. “Been a couple in public for 10 minutes and don’t know how to act. Get some couth about you, damn.”

What came next were the longest 12 minutes of Charlotte’s life. Followed by the longest car ride of her life and the longest walk into Michael’s house. By the time they entered, they did not even make it to his bedroom. They just stumbled into his kitchen, their limbs moving on pure muscle memory through his dark house and into the kitchen. As soon as his hand met the counter, he hoisted her up and got on his knees between her legs.

However, before he could hook one leg over his shoulder to continue worshiping her, she sat up.

“No,” she shook her head, pulling his face to hers. “I don’t want that. I want to taste you.”

He stood up, allowing her to fall to her knees below him, licking her lips as she unbuckled his jeans. She had been dreaming about this for the last hour. It had taken her a few days to get over her own hangups about giving head. She was good at it but it was a chore to her. Now she laughed at how nervous she had been the first time, surprised that Michael laid back and gave her complete control. Control over his pleasure and the pace. Since then, she found the act made her feel powerful and sexy. She had control, his pleasure at her mercy, and she loved every second of it. And she could tell he did too. It was far from a chore to her now, it was something she looked forward to and craved almost as much as Michael did.

She started off slow, the tip of her tongue lightly licking the underside of his dick. She basked in every moment of it as if he was the best lollipop she had ever tasted in her life. She gathered all the moisture in her mouth and spit on his dick, her spit sliding down his shaft. She slid her lips over the head, just taking the tip of him and sucking lightly as her hand massaged him, spreading her spit along his length. She could feel him twitch beneath her, a groan escaping his lips.

“Don’t tease me, baby.”

“Not enjoying a taste of your own medicine?” She asked, reminding him of his little game earlier that almost had her weeping for release.

He chuckled, nodding. “Aight. But when you don’t get a break later, I don’t wanna hear shit.”

“I think you’re underestimating how much I like a challenge, baby.”

She grinned before enveloping his length into her warm, wet mouth. Though she wished she could tease him, the reality was… she lacked his patience. She wanted to feel him cum and not even proving a point would stop her. She kept her eyes trained on him, loving his facial expressions as she sucked him. His eyes were the most expressive, windows into his soul. And when she was on her knees beneath him, she saw it all: desire, bliss, pleasure, pride, and love.

Her eyes watered as she worked to accommodate him, light and lewd gagging noises filled his kitchen. She was thankful for weekends like this when his parents went back to New Jersey because they could utilize the many surfaces and rooms throughout his house with no fears of interruptions. Lazy sex on the couch while watching a movie? Say less. A quickie bent over the counter while they cooked dinner? More of that, please.

“You take me so well,” he moaned, his hand twisted in her curls. As much as he wanted to take the reigns and fuck her throat, he restrained himself, allowing her to maintain the pace and control she wanted. “You like sucking this dick?”

He could tell she lit up at his praise, a moan vibrating around him as she nodded.

“You look so fuckin’ sexy… that’s right, Els. Take all this dick, baby.”

He panted lightly as Charlotte increased her efforts. Her gagging and slurping sounded filthy as it grew louder and louder as she sucked him, sneaking gasps of air every chance she got.

“I’m g-gonna cum,” he warned her, Charlotte increasing the intensity for a few moments until she felt him bust down her throat. He held her head against him for a moment as she swallowed before releasing her, both of them panting for a moment. However, he did not give her much time for a break.

He did not even give her a chance to strip down before he helped her to her feet and pushed her, face down, onto the counter. She hissed as her bare arms came in contact with the cold granite, thankful she still had her dress on though it was now bunched around her waist. He did not even take her thong off this time, he just pushed it to the side.

She moaned as he filled her, his nails digging into the skin of her hips. There was nothing slow and sensual about it. This was pure fucking. Fast. Rough. Uninhibited. Their bodies were the other’s drug and they were in an outright chase to get their fix of each other.

She used her forearms as leverage to throw her ass back to meet every thrust, not allowing him to do all of the work and proving she still had some stamina to play with. However, Michael would never be outdone so he lifted one of her legs and pressed it against the counter.

Charlotte let out a gasp at the position, the stretch of her hips and how deep she could feel every stroke. All she could do was pant and beg for more as he fucked her fast and deep, her one leg almost giving out beneath her as she came around him. But his grip and strength kept her standing as always.

“I’m cl-close, baby. You want me to cum in this pussy??”

Lost in the clouds of lust and desire, Charlotte did not quite calculate the long term implications of that statement. She could only think minutes ahead and she wanted to feel him fill her.

“Y-Yes,” she moaned.

She let out a content sigh as she felt him fill her, warmth spreading inside her. Her arms collapsed beneath her for a moment as Michael leaned against the counter opposite of her, his eyes never leaving her ass, which was still perched high in the air for him.

As the haze left them both, realization seemed to hit them both like a train.

“You took your birth control today, right?” He asked, scratching his head as Charlotte immediately busted out laughing.

“You know, I feel like it would’ve been smarter to ask that before you came inside me?” She joked, pushing her dress back down her thighs and adjusting her underwear. “But yes, I took it. We,” her voice dragged out the word as she contemplated before deciding it was better to be safe than sorry. “Should still probably pick up some Plan B though… unless you want an oops baby?”

He let out a belly laugh. “If I’m gonna have an oops baby, I’d want it to be with you.” He kissed her on the cheek.

“Awwww,” her lips twisted into a little pout. “That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” She kissed him. “But we are definitely going to get the Plan B,” she whispered against his lips. “Can’t have your mom and the rest of the world thinking I’m a whore trying to trap you. Put on your shoes.”

He groaned, his body exhausted, “We gotta go right now?? Isn’t it a ‘morning after’ pill? Like it’s still gonna be effective in the morning right?”

She nodded, teetering on her heels. “Yes,” she admitted. “But… I’m starvinggggg. So on the way back from the drug store, we’d already be out and we could stop by… In & Out Burger?”

“I can’t eat that stuff… my diet remember, babe?”

“Come onnnnnn… one cheat meal for me?? We just put in serious work just now, Bakari. We earned a few extra calories.”

He laughed, knowing his trainer would not accept such flawed logic. “Fine but when Calliet gets on my ass tomorrow, you’ll owe me.”

“Deal.” She pulled him in flush to her body. She nippled lightly on his ear, teasing his favorite spot for a moment before whispering. “Tomorrow, I’ll give you a massage.”

“I dunno if that’s gonna be enough.”

She offered him a sly smirk. “Well, I’m sure I can get creative about how to make these calories worth it.”

He nodded and grabbed his car keys. “Come on. I already got some ideas I can tell you in the car.”

Tag list: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh

***

A/N: I hope this helps ease the pain! And I'll go ahead and write some fluff to accompany part 10 cause y'all are just gonna hate me again lmaooooo

Drop a comment and let me know what you thought!

#black writers #michael b jordan x oc #michael b jordan #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #adonis creed #creed iii #michael b jordan smut

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lewmagoo · 2 years ago

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my thoughts on the starling girl (spoilers)

i want to preface this by saying that i come from a very religious background. we’re talking church on sunday morning and sunday night, bible study every wednesday, etc. i related heavily to the subject matter in this film so a lot of this might be coming from a very personal point of view.

also, please do not expect a streamlined, structured review from me, my thoughts are very jumbled and i jump back and forth a lot in this post.

going into it i knew it was meant to make the audience uncomfortable. but holy hell, did they nail the cringe factor on the head. it was extremely tense. i was on the edge of my seat for the entire film, wondering what was going to happen. they did an excellent job of setting up that tension to keep the viewer on their toes.

casting was fantastic. eliza scanlen did a wonderful job, i could feel jem’s inner turmoil throughout the entire film, and i was rooting for her, hoping she’d make the right decision for herself in the end. she portrayed the struggle of a young christian girl dealing with “sexual sin” quite well. i related to her heavily in that sense because it’s something i struggled with for most of my teen years and into adulthood. but you aren’t here to listen to my woes, so on with my thoughts!

lewis was very convincing in this role. he was magnetic and disarming and i understood why jem was attracted to him. in the end, owen had literally no remorse for what he did. he knows he’s a predator and he doesn’t care. he was only concerned about himself. there’s a scene at the end in which the church has jem stand before them and ask for forgiveness for what she did (victim blaming at its ugliest), and owen has the audacity to come up and say “i forgive you” and he can’t even bring himself make eye contact with her. it filled me with a rage i can’t even begin to describe. if he can make me hate him with every fiber of my being for almost 2 hours of a movie, i’d say that’s a good performance.

jimmi simpson and wrenn schmidt, jem’s parents, stood out to me as well. especially wrenn. her anguish and desperation at the end when jem left was heartbreaking.

on to the film itself!

i think they hit the nail on the head with the portrayal of patriarchal, religious ideals. while this isn’t a film for everyone, i think it’s a very important story, and it sheds light on something that is unfortunately all too common. the story is basically told from her point of view which i think was the right choice.

i heavily related to jem as she struggled with navigating her sexuality. she’s right at the precipice of her own sexual awakening, and then owen comes along at just the right (wrong) time, and he’s handsome and charming and he’s been away in puerto rico, so there’s an appeal there that she’s drawn to immediately. she starts fixating on him, developing a crush. and he realizes this early on, and takes advantage of her crush. he doesn’t even bother to control himself. the whole time he maintains this schtick of “god wants us to be together” and it’s maddening.

the sex scenes are not overly gratuitous, but but i will say i have a bone to pick with the first sex scene they showed. there’s not really any nudity and it happens in a dark car (it also doesn’t last that long), but i feel like they could’ve shown the lead up and then had the act itself happen off camera, to let the viewer come to the conclusion as to what was happening on their own. it certainly made for an uncomfortable moment, and i was fighting so hard not to skip it because i almost couldn’t handle it. afterwards you see them both clothed and jem reaches between her legs and notices she’s bleeding because of the sex. so, again i would’ve preferred if it had happened off screen, and then showed the aftermath. it’s still possible to portray the unfortunate situation without showing it.

however i appreciated that there wasn’t nudity. they did not sexualize this teenage girl or her body, even when she was dancing. it was tasteful, unlike some teen shows and movies (looking at you, euphoria). dancing is a big part of this film, which i thought was interesting. there’s a lot of focus on how jem feels criticized and controlled because of her body. owen’s wife tells her she’s drawing too much attention to her body when dancing. her mom tells her she’s too focused on herself. i think part of why she’s drawn to owen is because he doesn’t make her feel shameful about her body. he makes her feel seen and desired.

i think the subject matter was portrayed well. specifically the victim blaming aspect. when everyone finds out about what’s happening between jem and owen, they all point their fingers are her. she’s the one with sin in her heart. she’s the one who needs to ask for forgiveness. owen isn’t held responsible whatsoever, aside from being asked to give up his position as youth pastor and his wife threatening to leave him. but again that’s all made out to be jem’s fault. she is made to stand before the church and ask for forgiveness. it’s really difficult to watch. and then, of course, as i mentioned above, owen comes up to say he forgives her and the anguish on her face is just heart wrenching. i feel that that scene hit me the hardest out of all of them.

her suffering the blame for what he did was unfortunately a very accurate portrayal of what actually happens in situations like these. men like this get off scot free all the time. girls are shamed for leading these men “astray.” the men suffer hardly any consequences. but part of me wishes the movie had gone a different route and shown owen getting in trouble for what he did, just to change up the narrative. the only justice that gets served is him getting punched in the nose by jem’s mom. but i do think it’s important to shed light on the victim blaming aspect and portray a very dark reality that still takes place in our world today.

this film portrayed growing up in a fundamentalist community very well. i don’t feel that it sensationalized it. it felt like it came from a very personal point of view. i know that the director has said she experienced a similar situation and i think that translates into the movie.

this is by no means an extensive or cohesive review just some jumbled thoughts i had about the movie. would i watch it again? probably not, i think it’s just one of those movies i can only watch once and it will stay with me for a long, long time.

if you have religious or sexual trauma, this may not be the film for you. it dredged up a lot of memories i’d long since forgotten of growing up in a christian community. i related to many things in this film. i found myself saying “i’ve experienced that” or “i know others who’ve experienced that” throughout the entire film. it hit very close to home and it affected me more than i realized it was going to. if you don’t think you can handle it, don’t watch it. it’s almost 2 hours of anxiety and discomfort because you know that it can’t possibly end well for anyone involved.

in short, great film, but difficult to watch.

#the starling girl #the starling girl spoilers #leah watches starling girl

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years ago

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Hello ! This is pukey Saeyoung anon.

I’m comin off anon bc honestly that shit is too much work. Pretty sure being sick this long has fried any last sense of inhibition or shame in my brain and I think everyone deserves to know how much I love Saeyoung smh. The extent to which that is my Mans. I will publicly gush if I so please. 😤😤

Plus! I’m pleased to report that I haven’t actually thrown up in about two weeks! So like. Hashtag recovery life I guess. 💀

But that’s what I came here to update you about. :’D

I feel like I kinda left you with a cliffhanger there with the whole bone cancer thing. (If it makes you feel any better, the hospital did too 👁👄👁)

November was very much,,, a terrible horrible no good very bad type of month. I spent nearly two weeks waiting for them to get back to me about my dumb bone marrow autopsy only for them to cancel my appointment last minute. And in the meantime I was just getting sicker and sicker… I ended up in and out of the hospital again a couple times,, but by the third time I was scared to go back bc the second time I went they didn’t even admit me overnight. They basically just charged me $700 to take a four hour nap. And cha boy doesn’t have that kinda money. 😭

But it got to the point that I really physically couldn’t take it anymore… I have never been in so much pain and discomfort in my entire life. Which unfortunately with the life I’ve had,, that’s a high ass bar lmao.

And it was just CONSTANT… I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t look at any screens. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stand. I was literally too weak to even pull a blanket up over myself. I literally was spending every night sobbing/shivering/barfing myself to sleep. It was baaaaaaad.

Luckily my roommate at this point had probably started to get annoyed by hearing me crying from pain all night and was like “dude I’m taking you to the hospital again”

And my third hospital visit !! They FINALLY gave me an answer as to wtf is going on!

Good news is…? Not bone cancer. I don’t have to enter my Deadpool era Quite yet.

Bad news…? Apparently I’ve got fuckin Lupus 🤡

Which is super cute and fun because,, you know. Incurable lifelong chronic illness. I’m literally gonna be dealing with this shit for the rest of my life. :)

But like. It’s a perfectly livable disease. As long as it’s, you know. Actually being taken care of and treated. Which I now have enough info to actually do haha.

(Hit the self-loathing so hard that even my own fuckin immune system was like, oh shit we gotta take this bitch DOWN 💀)

I’m soooo glad to be home and back from the hospital… but it’s been very strange too. I’m still really sick and I can’t really do much on my own and,,, my brain physically doesn’t know how to process being like,, taken care of. Honestly it kinda sets off alarm bells in my brain 😳 but I’ve had to accept pretty damn quickly that,, I don’t really have a choice rn. I’m so used to just being on my own pushing through all my pain and just. Waiting till it goes away on its own. But if I do that in this case… the pain will just get worse and my body will quite literally shut down on me and I will literally die. Sooooo like,,,, 🤡 I guess maybe I can stand to be taken care of for at least a little while.

Doc says with all the damage that’s been done to my organs and stuff this past year, they caught it early enough that the damage is reversible. But I need to undergo a really strict recovery treatment,, and they estimate it’ll be at least 18 months before I’m able to get back to my ~normal healthy baseline~. Which is insane… like am I really gonna be out here living like a sickly hermit for a damn year and a half?? I’m gonna keep feeling better, I know. And I’ll slowly be able to do more again. But I can’t go back to my job. It was causing me waaay too much physical and mental strain. :( so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

They also put me on literally 12 new medications when I left the hospital to help control my symptoms. Each of which I have to take 1-3 times a day. So that’s super exciting. Love a big bowl of pills for breakfast every morning.

It was torture at first because I hate swallowing pills. But it’s been about a week and I’m honestly getting used to it already. And better yet? Even after only a week… they’re noticeably helping my symptoms… and I’m actually starting to be able to do things again… I *almost* feel like, 60% of a normal human person again,,, maybe even 65%! I’m slowly starting to regain my appetite finally… and I can do little things again… like play the new Pokémon game, or watch anime, or draw, or call a friend on the phone. Which… god what a relief 😭 words cannot describe how good it feels to be able to do those things again… frankly,, it was traumatic having to spend the last few months watching my body physically deteriorate in real time… so now that I’m starting to feel like myself again, if only a little. I’m like. Hey?? I actually love myself so much???? I think I’m a pretty cool fun interesting person. Thank GOD I’m making a comeback 😭😭

Saeyoung of course has been a great source of comfort for me throughout all of this… he always is one of my biggest sources of comfort in life… literally even just imagining him being in the same room as me is enough to put me more at ease…

When things were at their worst a big part of how I dealt with shit was vividly daydreaming about making up silly stories with Saeyoung to distract me. This is something I’ve done for years when I’m too upset or stressed to sleep,,, it’s been a reliable source of comfort for me for a hot minute. But it’s never gotten to this extent haha.

We have a whole ass story going,, I’m actually starting to get pretty attached to the story and the characters… which is stupid AF because it’s literally just. Me and Saeyoung Choi as fantasy self-inserts wherein he’s a court jester and I’m a knight and we’re going on a quest to ~find a cure for my mysterious illness~

But a part of me is like 🥺🤔 what if I actually wrote the story tho? Lmaoooo

Amongst other coping mechanisms and distractions,,, I’ve also been falling HARD into my online shopping addiction. But also, idk, can you blame me…? I’m a material gowrl at heart and I haven’t been able to go shopping in person for months 😔😔 I need little treats to get me through the day.

Mostly I’ve been spending an UNGODLY amount of money on plushies. Like… idk if I could count them and I don’t even wanna THINK about the prices fhdhdjd-

Mostly Pokémon and Sanrio characters. But a few other random critters as well.

And tbh?? I don’t regret a single purchase. They’ve literally all helped me feel more comfortable and joyful these past couple months, which I’ve really needed. So, even if my bed is starting to look RIDICULOUS from sheer volume of plushies…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m living my best life

A few days ago I got a giant charmander plushy… and like. Ordinarily I’m not even the biggest fan of charmander (shut UP ABOUT CHARIZARD GAMEFREAK. IM OVER IT. GEN 1 IS POPULAR WE GET IT)

But I swear to god this young man is changing my life. It may be the softest squishiest most huggable plush I’ve ever encountered. I’ve been carrying him almost everywhere,,, starting to feel like the “ahh yes. Me, my partner, and their life sized mareep plushy” meme for real 💀💀

((How do you think Saeyoung would feel about me turning our bed into a literal mountain of plushies? Or having to compete for attention with my charmander? Hehe. ))

THERES ONLY ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO SAY…

If you’re actually taking the time to read all of this,,, holy shit thank you. And thank you for providing lonely bitches like me this outlet c’: to be able to talk… and share comfort… and express our deep love for these characters without fear of judgement. It’s really just such a lovely blog and I can never thank you enough.

But the last topic I wanted to touch on!!!

Ugh,,, I read your answer to the ask about Saeyoung with an MC into pastel goth fashion and…

That made me so happy 😭😭❤️❤️

I love fashion,,, so much. Truly one of my greatest joys in life is getting into a really cool fun outfit and strutting around Knowing that I’m cool as fuck and I look like a sexy badass 😤😤 it’s simply the most powerful feeling.

Love when I’m wearing an outfit I know looks fire and I can’t stop smirking haha.

And I just,,, love being flamboyant and silly and having fun with it. I’m 100% the type of person to walk into a store and go “this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. The colors and patterns are such a mess they’re practically nauseating. I NEED IT.”

I have a collection of tacky button up shirts that could probably blind a man lmao. And JACKETS?? Don’t get me started on jackets. Boots,,, cargo pants,,, earrings,,, big colorful sunglasses. Ugh. <3

Since I’ve been so sick I haven’t been putting much effort into my appearance. My outfits were so joyless for a while… and then, well. I’ve spent the last month and a half wearing exclusively Pajamas and Hospital Gowns 😭

Considering that my main fashion inspirations ordinarily fall somewhere between Elton John, Lil nas x, and Jojo’s bizarre adventure…

Quite the glow down haha

I don’t think I realized fully how much I missed that until I read your ask…

You inspired me to go looking for some fun new clothes online. And now I’m feeling so excited and impatient for them to get here because I can’t remember the last time I got to put together a fun outfit… I actually wanna like,, get up and get dressed for the first time in so long c’: if only to waltz around my apartment a little bit and take a few selfies.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to my FULL level of glamour,, my inflammation is still pretty bad so my face and body are kinda weird and swollen and lumpy right now 🥴 and again,,, standing and walking are still very much a challenge. Idk if I could wear heels right now haha I’m wobbly enough on my feet already.

But I can’t wait to get back into it…

Like you were saying in that ask too… another part of why I love fashion defs has to do with my gender expression… and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when people bring that up with Saeyoung 😭 it always makes me grin and fills me with so much adoration to think about Sae getting to have fun and experience that euphoria with clothing and fashion as well… and especially the thought of us getting to do it together….? c’:

Literally a concept that is SO important and special to me 😭❤️❤️

Idk what kinda wonky matching outfits we’d be putting together but I know that we would look so fuckin cool and hot 😤😤 and best of all we could have so much fun. Which… tbh, there’s nothing more I could ask for in life.

Plus of course,,, there’s always the added fun of self indulgently getting to imagine Saeyoung admiring and complimenting me on my fashion :’D and like,,, thinking I’m cool or whatever 😭

Anyways! Those are all the things I wanted to say.

If you’re still reading this,, //what’s wrong with you bahaha I’m such a rambly mess

But like. Thank you. And deadass if this is too long to read or respond to feel free to leave it in your inbox or just delete it.

Honestly it was just really nice to be able to type out all these thoughts just to sorta. Get it out and decompress, ya know…? c’:

I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day.

While I am happy to hear that you have a better understanding of what's going on in your life, I'm sorry you're going through this transitional time when you discover that you have chronic illness. That has to be the most difficult time for a lot of people. You have to make a lot of adjustments and make changes that you may not be happy with to make sure that you're taken care of. I empathize and understand this because I deal with multiple chronic illnesses. If you ever need a safe space to vent about it, this is always a safe spot. Whether you want it to be posted or not, you can always scream into the inbox.

I hope you don't beat yourself up over the new limitations and changes that are coming into your life. It'll be hard for a little while to get used to everything. But it'll be okay. I can't promise that it'll be easy in the long run. This journey is a lot different for everybody. I think what helps when you feel lonely and isolated in that regard, is to find comfort in the things that make you happy and if that is this video game, then I'm glad that you have it. It's been there for me through all of my experiences so I'm also grateful for it.

I know what it feels like to be lonely and afraid. Having my blog like this... it’s a place where I’m able to help everyone’s dream. It’s simple, it’s small, but I know even the smallest response of “Yes, your favorite character would do this for you today!” means the world to someone on their worst day. I hope that you’re able to find some spoons to dress up and feel good very soon. It’s hard to find a good day sometimes, but you’ll have soon, I’ll cross my fingers for you.

Imagine that, I mean, imagine Saeyoung gushing over you because you found the energy to get up and show off your new outfit. There’s dazzling sparkles in his eyes as he looks at you. His hands are pressed to his mouth, and he looks like he’s going to keel over in delight. He’s absolutely enamored and in love with the sight of you. “You’re so handsome! I can’t take it! I’m in the presence of the best lover! I think I’m the luckiest boyfriend in the world!” Cue him pretending to faint before you ask him if he’s getting dressed, too.

That’s when he springs back up: “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got the perfect dress that’ll match this. I’ll even let you pick my hair style for the day!”

#longpost #long post #queue #ask #pukey saeyoung anon #mod kait #clownishpossum #also don't worry I've got plenty of daydreams about saeran.#we're coping. this is fine and dandy.#so you and saeyoung? valid.#grief and anger are the things that I felt most at the start so be gentle with yourself.#tw chronic illness

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lastweeksshirttonight · 1 year ago

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It was 95 degrees with 35% humidity today, my house feels like the inside of a blast furnace, and somehow I decided this was prime "watch and write about John" hours. So greetings from the surface of the sun, we've got more LWT to see!

Last Lee Tonight (wherein there is, theoretically, a universe where John Oliver is writing Tumblr reviews of Lee's topical news comedy) Season One, Episode Seven

(original air date: 6/15/2014) Major topics covered: US immigration reform, Washington Football Team Interview: Stephen Hawking

Trigger warning: racist iconography

"If you don't learn the recorder, you're fucked." "Seriously though, playing the recorder sets you up for life."

So uh, fun story. Remember how last week I said that the YouTube channel was finally starting to get the hang of things by episode six, aside from the occasional oddity of a one-minute clipped joke here and there?

The YouTube team didn't upload the main story from this episode to the LWT channel. At all.

We're still in prime "figuring this shit out" mode! Strap in!

That's consistent across the entire episode. After the last episode, which saw the show starting to coalesce into its modern form, this episode seems to go back to the drawing board and toss all kinds of shit at the wall to see what sticks - it's honestly most reminiscent of episode one. The opening segments are lightning-fast and don't transition into each other well, the central topic doesn't go nearly as deep as you'd expect it, and there's a random (but amazing) interview at the end of the show. I wonder if the next episode will swing the pendulum in the opposite direction again.

John starts our episode banging and then punching the desk, going in the opposite direction from our last episode. He seems to be taking out his rage on the glass countertop, which he looks very silly doing.

We begin by revisiting net neutrality, from Episode Five. (I'm linking it because I wrote this months ago, and if your executive dysfunction is anything like mine, you totally forgot everything about the episode.) In that episode, John described Tom Wheeler as a dingo, and somehow Tom Wheeler was asked about the LWT episode in a FCC meeting. He speaks like a literal robot and refutes, in the weirdest way possible, the idea that he's a dingo. How is that the thing you focus on from that whole segment. How. What? Christ.

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The unsaid caption "Satire is not C-SPAN, however." goes without comment, which is unbelievable to me. That phrase cracked me up so hard I had to pause the episode. I know there was a rich vein of missing the point entirely and subsequent dingo humour to mine here, but come on John, that caption is a gift.

We then move to Iraq, where ISIS forces crossed nearly the entire country in five days and stole $400 million dollars. This bit only goes for about a minute before we move to another topic, Obama visiting the Standing Rock Sioux reservation and pledging aid. We finally then transition into a discussion of the Washington Football Team, who, at the time, were still refusing to change their goddamn racist name and iconography, which I will not be using here. (I did learn from writing this that apparently they have rebranded - FINALLY - as the Washington Commanders in 2022, after two seasons of being Washington Football Team.)

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I appreciate how John lets an extremely sincere and powerful commercial made by Native Americans regarding the offensive name largely speak for itself, aside from one dark joke at the end, before discussing what an abject shitwhistle former Washington Football Team owner Dan Snyder is and how pathetic his protestations are.

It did take a while, but Snyder was ousted from his ownership post of the team in 2021 after a massive expose of sexual harassment under his watch was released in 2020. He's been mired in investigations over financial conduct, fraud, and deceptive business practices as well, to which I can only say "good".

The night's main topic, which has no YouTube video anywhere (I'm sorry), is immigration. John says he has a vested interest in the topic and the audience laughs, which is funny-weird because it doesn't seem like John is trying to humorously highlight his insider nature here. The real focus here is the debate over immigration reforms, as the system is (and remains) very broken and anti-immigrant sentiment is high all over the world.

I do wish this clip was on YouTube. It's not the most informative piece on immigration, but is a nice window into how much John loved this country prior to the beginning of its full collapse. This definitely takes much more from The Daily Show mold, being a comedic monologue interspersed with news clips that allow John to riff on the state of immigration, as opposed to later LWT immigration segments, which tend to be exceptionally sobering. This one is comparatively light-hearted and surface-level, and John delivers the material with a very comfortable confidence. I don't think the segment itself is a standout, but I really like John's attitude here.

We technically get our first animal-fucking joke during this segment, which is about bears only fucking face to face and stops John cold as he helplessly giggles over it. One step closer to getting all the running jokes in order!

Somehow, the end of this with the animated Actual American Tale video is on YouTube, so please enjoy one of the most depressing things LWT has ever put together. It's genuinely far more distressing than the actual main topic segment.

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The episode ends with the only appearance of "recurring segment" Great Minds: People Who Think Good, where John interviews Stephen Hawking. Interestingly, I was listening to a podcast today (gonna likely make a separate post on it) where John talked about how much he loved interviewing Hawking and how he wanted to showcase the man's wit and humour more than his intelligence. I think that the interview is incredibly successful in that regard.

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I adore this interview so much. Never have I had so much fun watching John get totally roasted.

Random notes:

Lee is a very predictable man corner: today we get a black suit jacket with lavender shirt and dark purple tie, which is a great look, 9/10. The only thing keeping it from being a 10 is that it's missing an element of boldness. Maybe a deep purple jacket or a shinier tie?

Lee continues being predictable in a second bullet point: the interview outfit is a black suit jacket with a light-blue and white checkered shirt and black tie. Definitely a pedestrian but still solid look and I still love the baby blue on John, so I give this 7/10.

Please stop making me talk about American football in these, John, I beg you.

"I lost my virginity to the sound of a man ranting about Bulgarians." This is so far the best line of early LWT, I will bear no other arguments.

There are no random 1 minute YouTube clips of isolated jokes this episode! 🎊

Once an episode, someone from the past 20 years of American political culture pops up that I've completely forgotten about and am upset to be reminded of. This week, it's Michele Bachmann, who I refuse to look up to see what she's doing now. You cannot make me think more about Michele fucking Bachmann.

There is an extended interview with Stephen Hawking that adds a few nice bits, like John asking Stephen a meandering hypothetical about him being a drug lord with inconsistent staff.

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#john oliver #last week tonight #last week tonight with john oliver #stephen hawking #last lee tonight #Youtube

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fractallogic · 1 year ago

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I think I’m REALLY going to eat my feelings tonight because guess fucking what the day just was so weird on top of being rejected from the job (which, btw, the way they’ve handled the process has been pinging sketchy alarm bells in the heads of my friends who know industry better, so maybe it’s actually a bullet dodged)

At her defense, this poor grad student’s nervousness was PALPABLE during her presentation and I’m so so glad she seemed to loosen up and have more fun during the questions

I didn’t recognize one of my other fave grad students there because she’d cut her hair!!! But it was nice to talk to her after the defense … until she asked how my mom was doing. I told her that my mom had died and she got really emotional for me and was like “oh no I’m so sorry are you doing okay??? Now I’m crying!!” And I was, you know, sitting there being awkward like I tend to do talking about my mom when I’m not actively feeling sad about her dying because I’m like man uh right now I don’t even miss her… 😬😬😬

But we also talked about other things and I found out that there’s a new bubble tea shop near campus, and we exchanged phone numbers, and renewed our resolve to play switch together someday and hang out

But the emotional stuff was just overwhelming, so instead of going back to my office to eat lunch (AT THREE PM LOL) and work for an hour, i literally sat in my car in the parking garage for the two minutes it took to eat my sandwich and then went to the gym

And then at the gym I hit a HUGE wall doing deadlifts, because I decided to completely disregard how I didn’t sleep enough last night and how I’d only eaten an instant breakfast shake and a PB&J all day, and I was warming up by lifting 135 lbs before I tried my 175-lb set, and … it was one of the comical moments where I’m trying SO HARD to lift the bar and it doesn’t even move. The same thing happens when I go down to 165, and again when I go ALL THE FUCKING WAY DOWN TO 135, because apparently my body was like “no we DID our single set of deadlifts already, we’re DONE now wtf”

And then I did 15 min on the elliptical and felt like I was lowkey gonna die, and on the way home I got flashes of nasty migraine possibly coming

So anyway before all that comes to fruition, I’m going to take a shower and then try this new-to-me Chinese place and get scallion pancakes and mapo tofu, and then if I still want it as badly as I do now, go all the way across town to sonic to get a cookie dough blast because they put WAY more cookie dough in their thing than DQ does in its blizzards

@ self: you aren’t obligated to eat the whole mapo tofu. You CAN actually have everything on this list if you don’t try to stuff yourself. FYI.

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lv-iceprince · 1 month ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/lv-iceprince/763842297608749056/httpswwwtumblrcomlv-iceprince763835954024873

Lol but you still get to go! Skz being so popular now, atp I would be happy to even be in the back to see them live. I don’t even know how I got to see Ateez soo close as VIP back in August. The absolute hell my sis, friend, and mom had to go through because there was more than 5,000 in line in the morning to get their lanyard was insane. I made like 3 lines and each was a 2-3 hour wait and by the time soundcheck and the concert started, we were already out. My sis literally just waited till “Its You” to play and then she left the concert only to get lost in the streets on her way back to the hotel🤣🤣So much chaos that day lol

I’m here and I’m glad you’re here!😭

Nahh I wouldn’t care, I’ll watch the anime I want to watch thank you very much lol good on you! Ooo I may just check Free out then

Really??😭😭For me, it helps me learn about myself in astrology and the level of detail you put into writing them is just chefs kiss🤌I know it’s so time consuming but it really is worth it and just knowing potential dynamics with your bias really makes it hard not to want to request it😭

You are sooo sweet I don’t deserve you😭I love your energy too♥️🫶🏼I would definitely wait as long as it takes. I’m literally about to kiss the ground rn thank you so much😭🙇🏻‍♀️♥️

~🎶

I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO BUT I DOWNGRADED FOR MY MUM I COULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT NEAR THE STAGE

But my love for her outweighs skz, idk lmao.

It was so hard to get tickets but I managed to get some of the better ones with a version of VIP where I get the merch and they're doing this whole sleep set thing for Australia. I was also super close last year when they came to Australia so I got enough Felix and Hyunjin validation that night so I don't mind whatever seat tbh.

But that's so true I was prepared to not even get tickets since Stray Kids are getting so popular now

But that sounds so insane, I don't even think I'd enjoy that with the way it was for Ateez that is literally so chaotic I don't know how you dealt with that without losing it! But wait ago for you getting VIP to see Ateez that is the greatest achievement ever!

Now with Free, I love the dub more it just feels like it has more character, kind of like the voice acting for Final Fantasy. And despite it being so popular back in the day no one mentions it but it's probably top tier.

It's not exactly like Yuri on Ice or anything but it has a similar vibe and the animation is so so so so pretty! The way they animate water differently in every episode is so beautiful and it makes me cry. Just the most artistic show ever.

And yeah I see what you mean, I lost it, idk where it is but I did request a synastry ship with Felix once. I felt like royalty because our Mars was Marsing and the energy was like dream level.

And yep yep yep yep yep I will do it 100% I'm actually sorting out birth charts now for the other 2 people who have requested so no problem and nice choice with Yeosang. I have never done any ateez synastry ships but you requesting him and someone choosing Hongjoong I AM SO PUMPED

I'm not rushing I was already doing some work on a synastry ship now so I really don't mind ^.^ ^.^

#🎶 anon #you make my heart sing #my precious anons #💖💖💖

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starsdailyjournal · 5 months ago

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Journaling for my mental health as an epic scene girl (not clickbait) Day 1!

Today (sunday) I woke up at like 12:44 am or pm idkkkk but it was when the sun was up and like my dad had asked me to call him and since I have like ptsd I tweaked out but I brushed my teeth first because like I'm trying to get myself into the routine of doing that now. Anyway I called him and he just wanted me to like make my sister breakfast and put the food we made in the fridge but like he rlly freaked me out by just texting me "Call me when you wake up.". And he said he was getting us pizza which is now one of my least favorite things to hear from him (because of the c-a-l-o-r-i-e-s and because I'm really bad at expressing grattitude to him since we are sorta close (he is my bio dad I've known him all my life its complicated). But anyway I made my lil sister (10 yr old nerd) an awesome omelet with mozerela and sausage slices AND a cheese crust idk how to explain it basically I put cheese in a pan after I made the omelet and when it was still melty and not hard I put the omelet I already made on it and the I folded the whole thing when the cheese was cooked!! I bet it was yummy idk tho but anyway after that I scammed someone on adopt me (l-o-l) for like an fr panda, r sloth and nfr or nr hydra they got 20k rh diamonds tho soooo yk its fine!!! I was gonna scam sum more but like I got stuck trying to figure out how to use razer cortex (because royale high is so laggy on this dumb laptop) and I was stuck on that for hours legit untile dinner!! but while I was stuck on that my dad came home and gave me some chocolate which was nice but it also sucked because I CANT express grattitude its rlly hard for me bc I'm too grateful that I feel like if I tried to put into words the gratuity I feel I would spaz. BUT anyway I haven't eaten the chcolate yet (also its dark chocolate and if u dont fw dark chcolate ur ai generated) but I did eat 2 slices of this rlly oily garlic pizza for dinner just now! it was gross and I lowk cant stand that it's in my system (iykyk) but I can't do nun abt it BUT I am starting my fast rn and it should last this whole week!! So that'll make up for this but erm IDK ahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like talking abt eating but this is an honest journal... Should I add TWs?? Bc I rlly dont wanna I be sleepy at night which is when I'll be typing these out. Omgeee also like I've wanted to go back to being quarantine level chronically online 4ever now bc I love doing that in the summer but my dad has parental controls on all my stuff (including this laptop) so I cant go on disboard n stuff to find online friends to give me entertainment n stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I FOUND A WAY YALL!! I'm just gonna be ROBLOX chronically online tho I am a robloxian already (since 2018) I want to be one of those ppl who are always on it yk (thats why I was scamming today n trynna unlag royale high) SOOO when I'm not studying I'm gonna be scamming and trading in royale high and adopt me!!! Maybe I'll try n make sum friends but rn I'm focused on the games I'm already planning on getting my dp from starpets n I have a decent halo + ltbs on rh n all my dream stuff besides 1 set n 2 accesories!! so like I'm prettyyy good but I wanna get REALLY good like those ppl who have 5 owls and 8 parrots lolz! And I literally love roblox and everyone who plays it (besides anyone with brainrot humor ironic or unironic idc) everyone else are so cool!!! So like yea and I have 30 dollars that I'm prob gonna use on robux I might try n get headless bc my mom pays me to do computer science courses and my dad pays me half of whatever my mom pays me!! Honestly I feel like journaling is sm fun rn i love talking but nobody ever listens screaming into the cyber void is so fun!!! Also I'm gonna likeeeee eat my chocolate after I shower rn probs and then my fast starts!!! ALSO omg halloween is coming up!! I'm def gonna be a vampire! If anyone enjoyed my journal tell me what your gonna be for halloween!! Omg if my journal/blog gets big I would call the ppl who read it bats!! that would be sosososo cooool ANYWAY FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anitosoul · 1 year ago

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random blog #1 (post-jungle gym thoughts)

just wanna reflect rq...

wow, im buzzing right now. we just had our jungle gym event last night into the morning and it went better than i couldve imagined. the idea for the event came about during a point of time in my life last year when i was struggling to figure my shit out and leaning heavily on music to give myself a sense of direction. i got linked up with the artist hxly xo through a random reddit comment i saw - he had posted a comment on a reddit post of his music saying that he was the one who made it and i responded saying that i really like his tracks and he invited me to his ink & wash discord server. through spending time on that server, i realized how much creativity and music was happening online in digital communities like these and learned a lot about production from the folks in the server.

we had been organizing events with planetqueer and i realized there was this whole wave of artists making reinterpretations of dance music that were growing really big followings online but hadn't gotten the chance to perform because they primarily got their starts during the lockdowns. a lot of them were based in different parts of the US/world too. as someone who got into dance music from going to clubs and events in nyc pre-pandemic, i was very interested in this pocket of primarily internet-based artists making dance music on the merits of its sound alone. i was really into the way they were transmuting genres like jungle, ukg and dnb which are still not that well-known in the us. we started chatting about what it could look like to host a show with the artists and it developed naturally from there!

afterwards, it was slow but steady months of planning and coordinating. the hardest part was finding space to host the event, and nextdimensional (lisa) was such a champion and supporter and we owe her sooooo much for the event happening the way it did, even without her being there. from artist bookings to venue reach-outs to event promo, she was incredibly helpful and encouraging in navigating the entire process. the space we had it at was equally supportive, and you could really tell how their team knew the experience of djs, performers, and artists. major shoutout to radioface for having it on lock the entire night and working with us and supporting us the whole way through, even when the cops came by (twice!). the space had such a perfect diy feel for that scrappy, sweaty jungle basement rave energy. the cdjs were literally about to fall off the table at one point because everyone in the room was jumping so hard!

it feels funny being post- an event that had been in the works for so long. so much thought, time, planning, and energy goes into just one night, one hour long set, etc. this was true for us as organizers as well as for the artists who performed--for many of them it was their first dj set/live performance, ever. for us it was our first all night rave and our first event of that scale. i had the sense that it was a lot of the attendees' first rave experience as well. fostering and platforming opportunities for performance is a major tenet of what we're trying to do with planetqueer, and seeing it play out on that scale (a sold out show! :o ) was so special.

the vibes in the room were so wonderful--the crowd was cute, diverse, supportive, and most of all there was no sense of superiority/being "too cool." the excitement of everyone was palpable and the crowd and performers were feeding off each other the entire night. seeing how much the event meant to the performers, to the attendees, and to us is what made all those efforts worth it.

this music thing is admittedly a challenging hobby. the challenging part being protecting your mental. it's so easy to get swept up in comparison, envy, ideas of "success," recognition, clout, finances, numbers, self-promotion and social media in general, and last but definitely not least the vulnerability that comes with creative self-expression. as i've worked through my own ways of dealing with these challenges, i find myself going back to moments--moments when you see someone on the dancefloor absolutely brocking out, when someone tells you how much they needed the space to not think about shit for a night, the smile on a dj's face when they're performing for the first time and they feel the crowd reaction and the nerves just melt away. i guess it's counterintuitive, but for a creative practice that's so focused on the individual, i feel the most relief when i realize that so much of this isn't about me. the context, the community building, the history, the culture, and the storytelling is all so much bigger than any one person can comprehend and im just grateful to be a part of it. truly on some just glad to be here energy. anyways this has been my post-rave processing and i figured i'd share this in case it resonates with anyone else. if it does, don't hesitate to reach out to me. im down to chat :)

✌️ michael aka anito soul

#reflects #blog #jungle gym

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perexcri · 2 years ago

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Percyyyyy I am a crying mess on the floor. My son! My poor poor son. Even in this universe he cannot escape the shadows.

(Why did the Ministry have that thing in its basement/cellar?????)

This puts a Lot of the first parts into context 😭 Will trying So Hard to not use Too Much magic—as well as being unable to help himself using it around Mike.

‘It was guilt, and it plagued him up the stairs to his room even with Mike’s arm around his shoulders, hanging around him like a cloak he could never shake off. It didn’t help that his best friend was right next to him all the way up the stairs, and for several hours, before the shadows finally took him in their arms into the realm of dreams, he faced the stone walls and felt only wave after wave of guilt and despair. This was all his fault, and there was nothing he could do; everything was broken, and there was no way to put it all back together.’ Ow ow. Written too well! Even before I read your author’s note I could tell that this was somewhat an allegory for depression because I Felt this whole section of the chapter and especially this paragraph. (I’m so sorry you were feeling so low while writing this I understand what its like. I hope you are feeling better now, and if not I send you sunshine and good vibes and hot tea!)

‘I meant it when I said always.’ Michael stabbing me in the heart ow I’m face down on the floor in tears.

I wish they will be able to escape even though I know they won’t. They just,,, deserve to be happy. But that happiness is likely far off for them:((

As always you make magic with your words! I hope you’re having a wonderful week!!

i apologize for the tears Vee T_T please accept these hearts as my humblest and sincerest of apologies 💜💜💜

ooooh yeah and the shadows in the basement cellar - i think my original intention for that was just to have them represent kind of what i think (in a lot of ways) the upside down represents in the show? like to me, the upside down in the show kind of works as this metaphor for things below the surface of a typical small american town that emphasize its seedy underbelly, like the upside down is literally these things that are poisoning the town yet most of the town refuses to address. idk if that makes sense (i just woke up and am very tired lol) but i guess i kind of wanted it to show in this fic that the ministry isn't being entirely truthful and that they, like any other institution in this setting, are potentially doing a lot of harm that nobody is really addressing. they have secrets like everybody else despite the fact that they want to act like they're above it all

ahh but i'm so glad it's helped put the first couple of parts more into context!! i love when stories are told non-chronologically specifically because you find out the context for certain scenes much later, so it makes me happy to know i was able to write something that did that T_T

and ahhhhhh thank you friend!! i am feeling much better, but i will always accept sunshine and hot tea from others :] i'm both sorry that it could be relatable for you to read about (because yeah dealing with that is Not Fun), but i'm also glad you could find some understanding in it?? idk something something "we read to know that we are not alone" something something

AND OH MY GOSH WAIT THE ALWAYS LINE - i added that thing very last minute (by my standards at least, which means it was mid-afternoon when i added it and i posted this chapter at night aksjflkdjsal), so i'm glad you liked it!! i thought it was a nice addition, but also painful considering,,,well. you know.

yeah the inevitability of everything is weighing heavily upon these two right now T_T there's just one chapter left in this part, and i think you can already tell what's gonna happen. i did tag this fic as angst with a happy ending for a reason, though, so please just bear with me through the pain!!

Vee your words mean the world to me :] 💜 i hope you're having a great week too, and i am sending you lots of warm soup!! 💜💜💜

#ask

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uncouth-the-fifth · 3 years ago

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congrats on the new followers! what about 108 + 126 with dami and wife!reader?

108. "If you leave the house wearing that, then the second you come over I'm bending you over the bed," and 126. "Y-you're not...w-wearing anything under that, are you?" with Damian Wayne.

ty! i feel like damian would marry someone able to keep up with his sass while throwing some of their own back at him, so a bit of a bratty reader for you <3 i also exposed my slight daddy kink so don’t hate me 🔫

You were trying to goad him. Unfortunately for Damian's ego, it was working.

He watched you twist around in front of the mirror, enjoying the shape of your figure in your new clothes. It'd taken hours of convincing (and a couple threats), but Damian finally coaxed you to let him take you on a shopping trip. Wayne Enterprises had granted him a raise for work that was completely his own. The only way Damian wanted to celebrate was by spoiling another thing that completely belonged to him. He'd worked hard to be his own man in the past few years, and today he'd seen the fruits of his labor. His beautiful wife was happy because of something he'd orchestrated. Damian's reputation was great, and not because of his name or his titles. He lounged by the fireplace in your bedroom, twice as smug as usual.

"Really, Damian, thank you," you told him, sounding bashful. "You could've spent that money on anything, but you spent it on me."

He watched you slip out of one of the party dresses you'd picked out for yourself, the light of the fire throwing soft shadows along your nude body. Damian openly stared, but without (much) sexual intent - just pride. Pride and love. This was his wife, and she enchanted him with every step. You pulled the fabric around your hips until it dropped around your ankles, and Damian's cock twitched in his pants.

He clicked his tongue. "TT." Damian lifted the rim of his teacup to his lips, rumbling, "You needed clothes."

To seduce me with, Damian thought, eyes wandering. You found something comfy to change into and hopped into it right in front of Damian, snugly snapping the waistband of some sweatpants around your middle and dropping a loose shirt over your nude chest. He made a pleased sound in the back of his throat, and you turned back to him with a smile.

“I was thinking about running to pick up some stuff for a night in. Popcorn, desert, that kind of thing.” You danced around the back of his chair and draped your arms over his shoulders, kissing sweetly at the side of his face. “Maybe we could watch a movie together.”

Damian pressed his lips together, eyes squinted with displeasure. “Now?” He grunted.

“Yes, now, Damian.”

You released him to perch on the arm of his chair, making it all too easy for Damian to hook an arm around your waist and drop you down into his lap. A deeper warmth blazed across your face at his blatantly possessive scowl. “But you’re not wearing anything under that.”

“Oh, c’mon,” you roll your eyes, “it’s hot out and who’s really going to see? Some cashier who won’t give me a second glance?”

Damian set down his cup and flushed his hands around your ribs, mapping upward and brushing your breasts beneath the fabric. You were pulled into his body until his chest was snug against your back, dropping a gasp from your lips.

Petulantly, Damian dragged his mouth down your neck and mumbled, “Someone other than me. That is who will see.”

He didn’t actually mean it. Damian, after years of years of being treated like an object himself, was well aware that you both were entitled to control of your bodies. He was playing, which made it even cuter. The whole “you belong to me thing” was sexy, and was made sexier when it was something you could both flick on and off at will. At the moment... you did not want him to shut it off. You wanted to be his, wanted him to take you.

To tease him, you set your hands on the armrests and started to push out of his hold. Damian let you, but if his hands didn’t pull you back, the power in his voice certainly did.

“If you try to leave the house in those clothes,” he warned, “I’m throwing you on the bed and bending you over my knee.”

“Ooh,” you fake-shivered, “I’m so scared—”

In an instant, Damian’s hips were thrust forward into your ass, and your wrists were snapped together and pulled closer to him in one harsh tug. You yelped in strained surprise, which Damian met with a smooth chuckle.

“Hmm,” he purred. “It appears all the coddling I’ve done today has made you bratty, Mrs. Wayne. I think I’ll give you a spanking either way, if you plan to be in such an indulgent mood. Are you going to test me further, Y/N?”

You glared at him, but holding in your excitement was too hard. A grin pinched your cheeks. “Kiss my ass, Damian—”

Twice as fast as before, you were whipped onto your belly and your sweatpants were torn down your legs, exposing your ass once more to the humid air. His hand viciously struck your left cheek, and the dual sensation of the sting and your pussy throbbing wrenched a whine from your throat. Being pushed across his thighs like that had shoved your shirt up and over your tits. Volcanic lust burned deep in your gut - in less than a second, he’d ripped back the curtain to reveal the slut beneath. You struggle to balance, recklessly bracing your palms on the floor. The slap on its own was orgasmic, but coupled with Damian’s anger and the debauched scene - your pliant body greedily lapping up his punishments - you were effectively soaked.

Like this was every other day for him, Damian leaned over you and took a refined sip of his tea.

“I hate you,” you mewled.

Damian snorted. “That wedding ring on your finger tells me otherwise. Now, count to ten. Naughty girls get ten spankings.”

His voice dripped with blistering enjoyment, and you knew that the villainous delight Damian was spending on you now was the last sadism from his assassin days. Damian wasn’t evil anymore, but this was the one time of day where your heart would skip a beat on the subject - if there was ever a moment he’d start plotting to take over the world, it was probably this one. Needless to say, it was fucking delectable.

“Ready?” He purred.

You closed your eyes, snapped your teeth around the bunched fabric of your own shirt, and nodded your head - probably with hearts blazing in your vision.

Damian reeled back his hand and delivered a blow worthy of a world-class assassin. You felt your own ass jiggle, literally jiggle, from the weight of the hit. You poured a shuddering shout into your homemade gag, “O-One!”

Again and again, Damian rounded on you. He’d punished you enough times to perfect the process, so his hits were periodic, but with enough time in between to let you gather your bearings, and yet still short enough to make your ass burn just how you adored. You sent a mental thank you to whoever had given him that beautiful brain, because Damian was quick to deduce what you wanted. If the sound you made was a little too soft, the next slap would come harder, ringing through the room in loud, solid notes. His hand must sting. He must like it, since he kept going with such revelry.

After the tenth, your toes were curled in and wounded tightly to your under-thighs, which were crossed, desperately clenching for any stimulation you could get. Delighted tears slipped from your eyes. Finally, you spat out your shirt and said with aching lips, “D-do you forgive me, daddy?”

Another vicious slap, this time on the left. Damian’s voice was sharp. “What did I tell you about calling me that, pet? Go on. Tell me precisely what I said.”

“I-if I called you that... I...” you squeezed your eyes shut, “m’ only supposed to say it when I really want to be fucked... when I want you ‘t make me forget my own name...n’ I do.” You sucked in a breath, “I took my spankings so well, Damian... please?”

He sipped his tea. He thought on it, turning the idea around in his mind. You could feel his thumb stroking your behind, no doubt admiring how red it was because of him.

“Ten more,” Damian said, his smile downright crocodilian, “and perhaps I’ll consider it.”

#damian wayne smut #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x you #damian wayne x reader smut #dc smut #dc comics #dc comics smut #dc #robin smut #robin #user uncouth

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strawberryspence · 3 years ago

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A Dinner and A Future

Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.

Word Count: 3,7k.

Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.

Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3

Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.

Spencer is nervous.

Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.

Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.

Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.

1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.

2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.

A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)

“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.

The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.

He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.

It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.

He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.

You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.

This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.

He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.

3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.

4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!

Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.

Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.

After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.

5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.

He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.

6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.

Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.

7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.

He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.

When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.

8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.

9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.

10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!

Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.

11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.

12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.

13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.

Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.

14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!

15. You can serve it with parsley.

16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.

17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)

Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.

He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.

He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.

He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.

Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.

“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”

That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.

Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.

Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.

Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.

He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.

Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.

He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.

The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.

“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.

Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).

With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.

He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.

A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.

His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.

“Hi.” Spencer smiles.

“Hi.” You smile.

“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”

“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.

“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.

“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.

You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.

Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.

You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.

The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.

“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”

You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.

“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.

“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.

“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.

“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.

After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”

The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.

In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.

Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.

“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”

Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”

“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.

“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.

“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.

“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.

“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.

“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.

“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.

“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.

“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”

"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."

"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.

"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"

"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”

“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.

You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.

“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.

“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.

He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.

Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.

the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!

taglist (if you want to be added, please message me 🥰): @all-tings-diego @shemarmooresfedora @averyhotchner @samuel-de-champagne-problems @bingereid

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h0neypjm · 4 years ago

Text

Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion.

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation.

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea.

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks.

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout.

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave.

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter.

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off.

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex?

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-”

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy.

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.”

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away.

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.”

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug.

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.”

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully.

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it.

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it.

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit.

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?”

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing”

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.”

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.”

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope.

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship.

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears.

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward.

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath.

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man.

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?”

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face.

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes.

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing.

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye.

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano.

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water.

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people.

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide.

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough.

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling.

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls.

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light.

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.”

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws.

“I'm sorry.”

He says it genuinely.

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot.

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace.

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation.

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then.

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick.

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate.

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman.

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives.

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately.

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now.

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes.

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?”

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving.

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket.

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in.

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes.

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.”

Inhale, exhale.

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs.

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness.

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds.

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae @emrysts @inspinkyring

#ficswithluv #h0neypjm #mine #jungkook #Jungkook Fanfiction #jungkook smut #bts #bts fanfiction #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jimin #taehyung #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi #namjoon

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lunaastoir · 3 years ago

Text

fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!

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diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon.

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you

ok last thing abt diluc

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off

all in all, life w him is so sweet

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy.

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him

the real, damaged pieces of his soul

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr

life with her literally feels like y’all are married

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

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endeaavorr · 3 years ago

Text

[18.23]

the third vibrate from your phone successfully prodded your eyes to wake. your left arm numb from the way you accidentally slept on it hurriedly reaches out to put your phone on silent, not wanting to wake him up. ah yes, him. you look at the dimmed screen of your phone, 5.00 am 8th of August.

your heart warms at the sight. you lean back to the mattress facing up, trying to stretch your body properly before starting up the day. you turn your head to the left and see his sleeping figure. the slow rise of his chest, the slight part of his lips, and the nasty scar, as shoto calls it, settling happily across the side of his face.

you don’t usually get to see this side of him, either because he doesn’t come home that night from work, or you’re too tired to pay attention, or the two of you passed out right after doing it. so you hit the snooze button once more and studies his face, your right hand now softly leaning on his broad chest, neat fingers tracing the outlines of his never aging face.

but the morning haze soon is replaced by your default mode. pulling enji’s cover to his chin to keep him warm, you get up to start preparing breakfast, you wanted to make it extra special for today.

for the last month the two of you has been, how do you say it, distant. you were taking extra shifts at your agency to afford this watch you wanted to give him on his birthday. even so, since you can’t tell him why he’s starting to come home to a cold empty house, it’s been quiet and rather uncomfortably awkward. you kinda feel bad in a way, so you’re determined to make today work.

you were so drowned in your thoughts, you didn’t even realize enji already woke up and finished his morning run.

“good morning, papa.” you greet him with your usual kind eyes.

“morning,”

he’s fresh out of the shower, wearing a sleeveless shirt and a lounge short, a small towel sitting on his damp hair. he sits on the tatami while you plate breakfast for the two of you. the air is dry and suddenly even the tatami is not that comfortable.

breakfast was quiet, it has always been quiet. but not like this, it’s normally filled with you clinging to his arm and playfully sneak your head under his arms right above his folded feet, facing him with a half closed sleepy smile.

you steal glances at him but he’s always looking down. just when you have the courage to break the silence, he says i enjoyed the food, and puts his dish in the sink.

“i’m staying out tonight, don’t wait up for me.”

you were only able to muster a ‘good luck at work, papa!’ before he’s gone again.

it’s 5pm. you just got home from enji’s agency, dropping of a set of suit you picked up from the launderer. reservation is at 8pm, you have three hours to call him about it and get ready yourself.

“hello,”

“ah papa ! are you busy now ?”

“yeah, i thought i told you this morning.”

it’s a lie, you asked his assistant and his schedule is empty from 5pm above.

“well, not according to your assistant apparently.”

it’s silent.

“well, i just dropped off something for you at the receptionist ! make sure to wear them, dinner’s at ___ at 8pm under my name, i’ll see you there papa ! i love you!”

“wait—“

you leaned to the wall behind you and press your phone to your chest in a relieved sigh. really, you’ve been living together literally your whole life, how are you still nervous like a preteen talking to their first crush ?

you shake your head mentally and start to get ready. in the mean time.. enji is dumbfounded. he’s just confused and the receptionists are grinning knowingly, which makes him even more, confused. good thing his office has a shower and a spare room though.

it’s 7pm. you apply some final touches of light make up. the two light honks from outside signals that your driver is here, ready to take you. the restaurant is pretty close from enji’s office, but it takes a good 25 min walk from the todoroki residence and you don’t wanna ruin your hair.

you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, you’re wearing a black designer dress that exposes your shoulders with a small purse on the right of your hand. you’re ready to go.

8 pm.

“ah, endeavor-san, how can i help you tonight ?”

the hostess welcomes enji with a polite smile.

“i have a reservation under my daughter’s name, todoroki y/n.”

“right this way, sir.”

enji follows the hostess to a more secluded table from the others, he notices it’s way quieter than the main dining hall, the view next to both of the seats are the wide view of city lights. the waiter serving them tonight introduces himself and hands him the menu, while pouring water from a sealed glass bottle to enji’s glass. he looks through some pages but then decided to just wait for you to order.

you arrive no later than five minutes after he did, welcomed by the same hostess, and immediately taken to your table.

“you look good, papa.”

“you too,”

he takes his time to scan over you, your neatly styled hair, your set of greenish ocean eyes that matches his, the scar on your left cheek that you wear proudly, and lastly the way he realizes again just how breathtaking you are.

on the other side, you feel your heart flutter. he looks really good. the slightly opened white shirt, the perfectly tailored navy suit, emphasizing his strong arms that has saved way too many lives, too many times.

enji was too busy staring at you he didn’t even bother taking a look at his menu. and by the time the waiter was ready to take his order, he just went with the classic i’ll have one of what she’s having.

“how’s your day, papa?” you started the conversation.

“it’s normal, busy.”

you place your right hand on top of his, thumb gently rubbing comforting strokes on his palm.

“i missed you, you know.”

“well, you’re the one who’s been away so much.”

you’re honestly a bit startled at his bluntness, he usually won’t do things like this. you get a bit shy and shifts your gaze from his to where your palms are lightly entangled.

“i’m sorry papa, i can’t help it, i needed extra shifts.”

“for what ? is it about money ? you know you can always ask me, right ? i don’t mind providing for you for the rest of my life as long as i get to come home to you, and not just a cold dead hall.”

you’re out of words, his brows is contorted, and the glint in his eyes shows something you guessed to be dissapointment ? guilt ?

“i’m sorry,” you say again, hands shyly squeezing his and the other toying with the ends of your skirt. your heart still goes on a marathon when it comes to him.

the dinner was nice, it’s slow paced and calm, just like how he likes it. the little tense you two had is now slowly melting away. opting to take a walk home instead, you walk hand in hand under the generous light of the moon.

enji took off his suit halfway and put it around you, keeping his right hand in his pocket while his other is entangled with your much smaller one. his shirt has now one more button open, sleeves rolled neatly three times as they rest proper on half of his arm.

you can’t stop smiling, butterflies going crazy in your stomach like a lovesick fool, that you maybe are. you don’t know if it’s from the wine, but he’s way more talkative right now, you’re making jokes here and there, laughing to yourself while gripping his hand tighter and hugging his arms with your other hand. he’s laughing a little too, not that he doesn’t appreciate it, that’s just how he is.

you’re waiting to cross the road at the last junction before you reach your home, the road is clean empty but the light is still red. the both of you don’t mind, he takes this chance to pull you tighter against him and breathe the always comforting natural scent of your hair.

your solace is interrupted by the ding of the crossing light turning green, but enji doesn’t let go, so you start walking slowly like that, pressed against each other, steps getting tangled making it hard to walk. the things you do for love.

it’s 11 pm.

he goes in first while you lock the front door and make sure all the lamps in the yard are on. he sits down and starts to take off his shoe, you quickly slipped of your heels and crouched between his legs to do it for him instead. your short dress riding up, displaying your already exposed milky thighs in its glory.

you can tell where he’s looking and feel the twitch of your insides from the yearning you’ve been holding back. he reaches out his right hand to caress your cheek. you lean to his rough hands and give him a faint smile before you push your body towards his in attempt of pinning him down, disguised by an innocent hug. your head resting on his chest while he supports himself with one arm and holds you back with the other. he face touches the bare skin of your neck and finds comfort there. pressing kisses that quickly turned wet.

you lift up your head and pulled his supporting hand towards you, making sure he’s fully laid on the wooden floor, arms caging his head, hazy eyes looking down on his meaningful orbs. it’s not long before you crash your lips together in a desperate kiss, your spit drooling down his chin, his stubble grazing the smooth well cared surface of your face.

you sit down on his crotch and he abruptly breaks the kiss with a groan, but you’re quick to grab his face and pull him in an even more passionate open mouthed kiss, his hands find the swell of your ass and guide them so you’re now grinding on his growing bulge too.

the mutual need to breathe forces both of you to break the kiss. foreheads now touching together, heavy ragged breath mixing, the intimacy making you dizzy. but the high wears off sooner than you thought and you can’t help but hide your reddened face to his neck, not wanting him to see you blush, hands clutching him tight as he sits back up holding you properly.

“let’s go take a bath, i’m sweaty.”

you can only offer a weak nod, still too embarrassed of what you just did. he hoists you up to his shoulder and carries you to the bathroom.

it’s so warm. you’re sitting between his legs leaning to him, his strong arms on your stomach protectively, body radiating comforting warmth to yours, making the both of you completely relaxed.

you almost let yourself fall asleep if not that you remember about his gift. so you get up first, telling him to enjoy the bath a little longer and go sprint to your room.

you quickly dried your hair and put on a set of babydoll you’ve been keeping for this day. it’s a simple white see through babydoll with soft lace that hangs prettily on your supple thighs. you put on your sleep robe and go to his room with a deep green paperbag on your right hand.

it’s 11.30 pm.

the futon is laid and you’re sitting above it on your knees, your gift hidden behind your figure.

enji comes out of the bathroom already in his sleepwear, a black set of loose shirt and a matching pants. his hands are still busy trying to dry his own hair until he looks up at the sight of you and pauses.

you pat the spot next to you, signaling him to sit there. he walks up to you and sit crossed legged in front of you. he can see the rather big paperbag behind you but decided not to say anything.

“what is it ?”

you opened your mouth in attempt to answer him but was left with nothing, so you just shoved the paperbag and places it in on the little space between the two of you, encouraging him to open it. he’s still not getting it and looks at you with genuinely asking eyes, but you’re too stubborn to meet his eyes and just keep looking at the walls to your right, peach blush already forming again.

“it’s for you,” you brave yourself to look at him in the eyes and finally say it, “happy birthday, papa.”

enji felt like his brain short circuited. but you ushered him to open your gift before he could say anything. you watch as his big hands fully envelop the big green box inside, the one your clumsy hands almost dropped.

he opend the box and stares at it for a while. it’s a platinum rolex day-date 40 from it’s 2021 men collection.

“this is expensive,” was the first respond he let out.

“we-well, that’s why i’d been taking extra shifts,” you sheepishly rub the back of your head. enji’s strong gaze didn’t waver.

“you didn’t have to—“

“but i want to !” you cut him,

“it’s just—“

you grab the pillow behind you and hide your face in it, finding it hard to speak to him eye to eye like this. “i love you, and sometimes i can’t help my feelings, i just thought, this is what people do to their loved ones.. you know,” you explain in a voice growing smaller than before, almost completely muffled by the pillow.

he lets out a sigh before repacking his gift, putting it back inside the paperbag and placing it on his side. you’re getting nervous.. is he mad ? did he not like it ? were you pushing it ?

all your silent doubt dies down as he pulled you close to his chest.

“i love you too, thank you.”

his voice runs beautifully through your ear, the sensation going straight to your heart. you ease up and holds him back.

“um, papa,”

“hn”

“i still have another gift,”

he pulls back and looks at you with a raised brow. you better not have unnecessarily give up you rest just to buy him a ‘gift’, it translates. both your hands come out in front of you in a waving motion to dismiss his half true accusation, but you struggled so much trying to pull out the right words.. you just let out a bashful sigh and unties the knot in front of your outer, before letting the dense fabric hit the floor, revealing the pretty babydoll sitting pretty and proper accentuating your pretty pretty curves.

he stills.

“do-does it look weird..?”

he scans over you for a while but your embarrassment made you thought he was looking at you in a weird way.

your cheeks are heating up, eyes glued to your thighs before you hear a rustle and suddenly your back is against the futon with one arm pinned above your head by his weight, and your other one is in his, you look at you favorite set of eyes that matches yours and the blue sky, he presses your hand to the side of is face and land a deep kiss on the innerside of your wrist, leaning against it while staring back at you.

it was a good birthday.

happy birthday todoroki enji, 8.8.21

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