#i literally cannot keep working on this no more. my mind might start steaming and blow up. also why did i make it dark again i literally

[cogneartive]

visualising the man i have to become

[frankiekatt]

Wowy hii, saw that you're writing for slasher, so here I am!

Can I plz have some hcs about any slashers with s/o, but their s/o is a literal gremlin, like they're not serious at all, always joking and annoying people around, but sometimes might be quite soft and quiet.

Thank you and have a nice day! ❤️

This was fun to write lmao

Warnings: Sexual harassment, NSFW, murder, blood, canabilism

Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Billy Lenz, Stu Macher, Michal Myers

Slashers With An S/O That Never Takes Anything Seriously:

Thomas Hewitt:

Thomas is a little overwhelmed by your personality at first.

He’s a quiet and reserved man who’s never had any kind of friends, so goofiness and jokes can make him feel uneasy at first.

But!! He gets used to everything very quickly!!!

Thomas loves everything about you and he finds you to be incredibly charming.

He can get a little anxious when he sees you annoying Hoyt because he doesn’t want his uncle to do anything bad to you in irritation/retaliation.

Your jokes are always a stress reliever for him, since he spends most of his days in a dark basement, surrounded by blood and gore. Your humor just shines a little bit of light on his day, and he loves you for that!

While Luda Mae and Hoyt might not like the fact that you never take anything seriously, Thomas finds it relieving. At the beginning of your relationship, Thomas was terrified of losing you because he thought you would be terrified of all screams, murder, and cannabilism, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that you didn’t pay much mind to it.

Thomas’ family mostly saw you as a clown, but Thomas could only ever look at you as the brightest ray of sunshine that has ever graced his life.

After all, he was the only one that saw your softer side.

Your soft and quiet side mostly shone through during the evening. Something about the sunset and cicada chirping calmed your heart.

You would often take Thomas by the hand and lead him outside to sit on the front porch with you, so the two of you could cuddle and watch the sunset together.

Thomas was always so used to your voice, because you loved to talk about anything and everything, so your temporary quiet nature was new, yet comforting.

During these moments, there didn’t need to be any talking between the two of you. You deep emotional bond allowed you both to communicate through actions.

You would lay your head on Thomas shoulder, stroking his chest, and Thomas would wrap his big arms around your smaller frame, resting his masked cheek against the top of your head.

This was Thomas’ way of saying, “I love you, you’re the best thing in my life,” and your way of saying “I could never live without you.”

Bo Sinclair:

:|

You’re gonna annoy the fuck out of this boy

Sometimes you both wonder how the two of you even got together, but the nights you and Bo spent pleasuring each other, going round after round, reminded you both how. (Your both just sexy okay its that simple)

Bo was a serious guy, so he was a little miffed that he was always the one having to take the lead in everything since you just couldn’t stop making a joke out of everything.

Sometimes you would actually make him really irritated due to your tendency to irk people endlessly, so he would have to step away to cool off and blow off some steam.

Sometimes he would yell at you in anger, which always made him feel like shit after, so he tended to stalk off to his shop to calm down before speaking to you.

You would have to go see him a couple hours later to wrap your arms around him from behind and shyly apologize to him.

He favored these moments the most.

Your voice quieter than usual, focusing on just him, touching him gently.

He would always accept your apologies, of course, and would let you know by kissing your lips softly.

Bo liked to take advantage of your softer side by lifting you up by your waist and setting you on the hood of whatever car he had been working on and kissing down your neck.

As revenge, Bo liked to draw out his teasing as long as possible. Kissing down your neck, chest, stomach, massaging your pussy through your skirt, palming your breast roughly.

It gets to a point where you just have to tell him, “Bo, I need you to fuck me.”

And he would oblige.

He would take you right then and there, on the hood of the car.

The metal beneath you was always shockingly cold, making you shiver against Bo’s chest.

“You cold, Darlin,” Bo would ask teasingly as he pulled your panties off. “Don’t worry, I’ll warm you right up.”

He would spend hours licking your pretty pink pussy if he could. He licks and sucks and kisses your most intimate part until you're shaking and crying above him, begging him to fuck you sensless.

After he’s satisfied with your helplessness, he’ll lean back up and ram himself inside of you. There have been many nights where he has taken you gently and slowly in his garage, holding your hand with every thrust, kissing your sweet lips to quiet your whimpers, but tonight was different. There was a primal need shared between you two. Bo wanted to let his frustrations on through loving you, and you wanted to be taken hard and fast.

When the two of you are done, you lounge around inside the car to catch your breath, holding hands. Everything seems so perfect.

Until-

“Hey, Bo? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?”

“.....”

“I want you inside me! Eh ha ha..”

:////

Lester Sinclair:

!!!!!

You like constantly joking and never taking things seriously? He does too!!

Lester would find you absolutely hilarious. Every joke you cracked would have him doubling over in laughter. Which would make you double over in laughter. Which would make Lester laugh harder, because now you both have the giggles and both of your laughs are just too infectious.

Everytime the two of you would go to Ambrose to visit his brothers, you guys would annoy the hell out of Bo and Vincent. Bo just wants to be left alone to work in his shop but instead he’s stuck listening to you tell a 40 minutes story about how you burnt dinner last night.

And Vincent just wants to be left alone to paint and sculpt but instead he’s here listening to Lester crack jokes that are a.) not funny and b.) don’t make any sense. -_-

Your and Lester’s trailer is always filled with so much love and laughter and the two of you could not be any happier.

You both have your own soft and quiet moments that hit at random times.

Sometimes it happens when the two of you are play fighting in the living room, howling with laughter. You both fall to the floor, wrestling and giggling until the both of you run out of breath and just gaze at each other as you lay on the carpet.

“You look so cute,” he giggles.

“No, YOU look so cute!”

“W-well!!! I love you!!”

“Uhm...well...I love you MORE.”

And it just turns into an argument about who adores the other more.

Billy Lenz (1974):

The perfect couple.

Literally.

The two of you are always joking around, cackling and goofing about every little thing.

Billy has finally found his soulmate and he could not be happier.

He two of you prank the sorority girls together, making sex sounds in unison to sound even more vulgar.

Everytime you crack a joke, you get worried Billy is joking because of how hard he’s laughing.

“Umm Billy you okay? It wasn’t even that funny.”

“HA haha...piggy makes me laugh...Billy loves your jokes.”

Needless to say, your relationship is filled with smiles, laughter, and praise.

Billy will tell you you’re the funniest person he’s ever met and he wants to keep you forever.

You tell Billy you love how much he laughs at your antics and that you can’t live without him.

It’s impossible to annoy Billy. It’s just not feasible.

Any time you try, he’ll just giggle and pat your head, telling you you’re his ‘favorite piggy ever.’

He LOVES when you annoy the sorority girls thoug!

Hearing you moan and squeal and speak so sexily vulgarly to Barb and Jess makes Billy so proud. And horny.

Almost all of your sexual encounters are filled with complete silliness.

Sometimes, however, the joking and cackling subside. The two of you will just be chilling, nothing else to do, and you just feel the need to profess your love for your boyfriend.

“I love you so much Billy.”

Billy will look startled at your sudden outburst, before he breaks out in a huge grin, launching across the room to tackle you into a hug.

“Billy loves you too! Billy loves you more than anything!!!”

Now the rest of your day will be spent in Billy’s arms, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Stu Macher:

Match made in Heaven!

Stu loves to joke around.

He hardly ever takes anything seriously.

He annoys everyone.

And once he meets you? It's love at first sight.

The two of you are always in detention because you guys just cannot shut up in class. You are always disrupting something.

But you know what that means!

Detention dates <3

As long as the two of you together, Stu couldn't care less about where he was.

He and Billy appreciate your habit of not taking anything seriously because once the murders start occuring, you don't think too much about it, never asking questions or arousing suspicion around your boyfriend and his bestie.

When Billy had told Stu his plan to kill Sydney, and asked him if he was going to kill you as well, Stu’s heart sank.

He remembers when he was dating Tatum, just a few months ago, before he broke up with her for you, he had no qualms about killing her,

But you?

He loved you. You were his other half. The one person who understood him, who accepted him. He could never hurt you.

“Nah dude. I’m leaving her out of this.”

That night, he sneaks through your bedroom window to see you.

“Stu! (where the hell have you been loca) What’re you doing here?”

The sparkling smile you flash at him and the love swimming in your big, beautiful eyes makes him feel even guitler.

He feels bad that you’re dating a serial killer. He thinks you deserve better, but he would never let you go.

“Hey babe! I just missed you!”

You rushed over to him, dressed in kitty cat pajamas, and hugged him tight. He had only snuck through your bedroom window a couple of times before, and they had all been planned. Seeing him in your room as a surprise made your heart burst with happiness.

Stu led you to your bed and pulled you up onto his chest to cuddle you. It was late, and the both of you were tired. Stu just wanted to lay with you in silence, appreciating your presence.

You didn’t feel like releasing your usual high energy at the moment. Right now, you just wanted to fall asleep on your boyfriend’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Michael Myers:

Girl

Michael does not appreciate your antics.

Annoying him is easy, but you would never know that.

He keeps his emotions very private, so when he is annoyed he’ll just stalk away from you.

He does not think you’re funny :(

He does enjoy your quiet moments. He likes to come home when your energy is low.

He’s usually covered in blood when this happens, so you clean him up without cracking a joke which he appreciates.

You’ll turn on a movie for the both of you, and Michael lets you cuddle up with him.

He does like you, he just doesn’t want you to know that...

[makeste]

literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 7 breakdown and analysis 

a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7. 

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot. 

another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me. 

now let’s get into the specifics. 

although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos. 

between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).

considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).

from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about. 

ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night. 

also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.

misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.

i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well. 

this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport’, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!! 

look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes. 

i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc). 

misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.

i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that. 

i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone. 

sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking. 

let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.

misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).

misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point). 

WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync. 

when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker. 

i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it. 

i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.

when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story. 

i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!

‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.

then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).

something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]

oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.) 

this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should). 

there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much. 

i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.

the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.

i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ‘will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.

if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.

the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves. 

aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha). 

i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions. 

i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.

when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).

listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.) 

i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.

you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013. 

and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)

okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands. 

misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]

misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.

fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’

this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit. 

the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation. 

there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so. 

how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.

jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.

‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it. 

can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it. 

and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.

(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)

okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help. 

 honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync. 

jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)

i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still. 

i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…

that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.

and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Gang of Secrets

Warning: Spoilers and intense emotions. Have fun!

Chat Noit sensed that something is wrong with Ladybug. Love how he can sense that based on what she doesn't say.

She almost didn't pound it and was distracted to do so. Oh boy.

BOIIII WHY DID YOU TAKE HER TO THE MOVIES???? THIS IS NOT THE TIME!!! AND LADYBUG KNOWS THIS AS SHOWN BY HER FACIAL EXPRESSION!!! I am SCREAMING because he took her to a movie ABOUT ROMANCE!!!

The civilians do not mind that superheroes are going to the movies. That is until...

Ladybug goes into this rant about romcoms and I agree with every word she says. There is no such thing as a happy ever after and things do not go perfectly. Go off Ladybug!!! There's a reason why I hate rom coms.

The civilians being shocked/annoyed from her rant just adds to it. I am guessing because this is literally freaking Paris and considering the couples there. Has the same vibes as Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls when he approached a couple to say marriage is terrible in the second episode.

Hurts that the rant was the reflection of Marinette's dilemma.

Chat finds out that it was about heartbreak. He finally picks up about social cues! Good work Chat! Too bad that you learned that after your breakup with Kagami.

Ah, the swimming pool. A great place to go to forget your heartbreak go for a swim.

Realized that akumas cannot attack people if they are submerged under water, which is why she goes to the pool and a theory roaming online that she goes to the pool to cry makes a lot of sense.

I know this is a kids show and that logic gets thrown out the window, but does no one in Paris find it fishy that Ladybug in her swim suit enters the Dupain-Cheng household???? I feel like no one cares.

Ladybug might say that the board of pictures with Adrien and Luka and some of her friends might not bother her, but it seems to bother her somewhat as it is a reminder of the relationships that she can't have as long as she's Ladybug. It hurts badly though.

Unpopular opinion: The Kwamis can be good at providing comfort and probably make them laugh, but they are not the best therapists. Do not blame them though.

Marinette only detransforms for Tikki's wellbeing. She is at that point where the only reason she does something is because someone else is suffering, not for herself. It hurts seeing her suffer like this.

Tikki is fine despite being in the earrings for a long time. She is more concerned about Marinette though.

Meanwhile, the girls have their suspicions about Marinette as they did not know about her breakup with Luka until he told Juleka, which started a chain that I cannot remember, but do remember that it ended with Alya.

They call Marinette, but she does not answer because what will she tell them? The not answering part is a mood, but the reason hurts.

Alix being like "why not get orange juice with her and talk about her feelings" and everyone else staring at her as if she was the one with a crazy idea. I can't! Especially when she was like "*sigh* fine"

Also, Luka is not taking the breakup well either if Juleka's photo is anything to go by.

The bracelet idea is cute. I did something similar to that Junior year.

The scene from the ad that made us mad: Marinette transforming angrily after saying how her life as Marinette is complicated and prefers to be Ladybug all the time. It hurts to see this scene actually be in the 3rd episode as the guardianship and the breakup had consumed her so quickly.

Baby girl, we love you and we know as the audience how hard your life is now. This is why we are very concerned about you challenging ShadowMoth. Concerning.

But she breathes and goes back inside. Glad that you blew off some steam, but is everyone in Paris not aware that this just happened?!?!? Hello!?!?!?! Like Plagg said: People are blind. And a good thing too.

Just as this was happening, the girls come barging in. Good that they are great friends for being concerned, but have they ever heard of knocking?

Rose finds the dollhouse. Its a nice dollhouse, but isn't that too obvious that it will attract other people's attention? Not judging though, its a nice dollhouse and shows the expansion of Marinette's craft.

Originally, I thought they were coming after Marinette because of what happened in the episode "Ladybug", but glad to know her other friends cared about her too!

Alya comes up to find Marinette in the balcony just as she detransformed. That was WAYY too close.

Obviously, this made Marinette angry. Like who wouldn't be? They did barge into her room without asking and she was already stressed out as it is. And they were also snooping through her stuff.

In the heat of anger, Marinette said that she didn't want their friendship, which shocked everyone. So they left. But they weren't mad, they were just upset.

At least no friends means reduced amount to lying??? Yeah, but we need friends in life, so it is a lose-lose case.

Sabine asks of they are okay and no one says anything. I wonder if she will ask Marinette later on.

They go to the park and as they recall their pain, ShadowMoth akumatizes them in a link because of their emotional connection to the bracelet. They didn't even have to hold hands in a circle!

Finally, a safeguard for the Miracle Box that isn't obvious and is protected by a passcode. The record sonogram (or whatever is called) that Master Fu had!

Bruh, they couldn't come up with something different for the Gang of Secrets other than their former akumatized selves???

And then the girls (now the Gang of Secrets) barge into Marinette's room (again) to get her to spill her secrets.

Trixx using their power of illusion to lead the Gang of Secrets somewhere else. And Marinette was hidden.

Lady WiFi wondering how Marinette jumped 3 stories without superpowers was just that wholesome moment like girl you don't even know.

Every kwami using their powers without a holder has their own adverse affect. For Trixx, it was making the Eifel Tower dance (or at least I think it's dancing)

Plagg is like "this isn't a me thing, this is an everyone thing, but more importantly a Trixx thing." Adrien is like "M'Lady needs me!"

Ladybug and Marinette merge into one (figuratively speaking) when she tells Chat why the Gang of Secrets was there in the first place. Poor girl, we need to give her a hug.

Ladybug confronts Lady WiFi and tries to tell her that she is trusted and about Rena Rouge. Then...

SHE BREAKS OUT OF HER SIDE OF THE AKUMATIZATION!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! ALYA HAS BECOME THE FIRST PERSON TO BE AKUMATIZED AND BREAK OUT OF IT! AND SHE HURT SHADOWMOTH WHILE DOING SO! I'M HAPPY FOR MY GIRL.

Ladybug trusts Alya and gives her the Fox Miraculous again. Not complaining, but what about ShadowMoth knowing her secret identity??? Miracle Queen anyone??? You know, a chunk of the reason WHY MARINETTE IS SUFFERING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?

Also, teleportation of the Miraculous from the Miracle Box to Ladybug's yoyo! (Well more like a direct connection!) Cool and smart!

Rena Rouge, THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING US MARICHAT STANS AND OUT #justice for Marichat CAMPAIGN STARTED BY SOME OF MY FOLLOWERS ASKING FOR MORE MARICHAT EVEN IF IT WAS FOR 3 SECONDS!!!! (Yes I notice your comments peoples, I am generally a tired and busy person to respond, but I eventually acknowledge everything)

Can we take a moment and point out how amazing it was that Chat was fighting three (four???) akumas ON HIS OWN WHILE ON THE CAT PHONE!!! ICONIC!

IT WAS ALL SO CLOSE! SHADOWMOTH ALMOST HAD THE MIRACULOUS IF IT WEREN'T FOR PERFECT TIMING!

The moment with Alya in the alley! Friendship goals.

Marinette comes to terms that the breakup upsetted her so much and finds that love is complicated and chose friendship at the very least. Their reunion was what they all needed after what happened.

Alya stays behind to say that she knows that there is more, but will not press further. Can we get an applause for character growth?

Marinette asks her to stay longer as she wanted to tell her something.

It really was hard for her to keep lying to everyone and how she had to break up with Luka for this reason while also fearing that it would be the same with Adrien (she does not know, so she has a right to fear, also Chat Blanc!) She really needs a hug and such.

The whole concern about things changing between them is relatable to be but on a different context. It hit hard for me.

My fellow peoples: the moment that we were (sort of) waiting for ages is here:

JE SUIS LADYBUG! MARI TOLD ALYA THAT SHE'S LADYBUG!!!!

And Alya GIVES HER A HUG AS IN SHE UNDERSTOOD WHAT THIS MEANT AND THE REALIZATION OF WHAT MARINETTE WENT THROUGH!

As sad as I am that it was not Chat that she said this to first, I am glad that it was Alya. As her best friend literally hours prior to becoming Ladybug, having stuck by her side unconditionally, and having the willpower to break out of her akumatization, Alya is a perfect choice. Now I look forward to see how Alya helps Marinette deal with this burden.

Overall, this is a top tier episode, aka the best episode in the entire series in my opinion! I love how we explore Marinette's feelings regarding everything that is going on in her life and the ramifications of her being a guardian. It hurts and at the same time, it is beautifully executed! It shows the evolution of the writing and of the characters!

My arm hurt from the vaccine yesterday and these posts are usually long, so that's why it's released today rather than yesterday. Anyways, I recommend watching this episode!

[vidalinav]

The House as an apartment building:

Sectioned off per apartment ft. Pictures 

I’m telling you I want the House of Wind to start functioning more as an apartment building. Like the House deliberately being like “you took my baby’s apartment. Well I’m making her a new one. Improved too with nice amenities and free clean up service and an on sight cook. Suck it.”

Azriel’s Apartment:

Like Azriel’s got his own sequestered off place that’s not easily accessible to everyone. His own door. It does have a kitchen, because honestly the House doesn’t know much about him and it tries not to peek into his space too much. If the House is being honest, it’s a little bit afraid of what it might find. So it has a kitchen and a bedroom and a tiny personal library stacked with books of all kinds, and a space to play chess (The one Nesta gifts him that plays by itself-see other post). It’s pretty dark. Has a lot of black and black out curtains, Azriel prefers that. Very muted, but tasteful and mostly clean. IF he’s in a good mood. I don’t know I picture his room half-intellectual/half-angsty rocker type. Think metal work vs bookshelves vs. minimalist. 

Emerie and Gwyn’s Apartment: 

Emerie and Gwyn end up living together in their own sequestered apartment in the House. Before, they stayed in separate rooms when they stayed for long periods away from their respective homes--Gwyn just wanting to venture out but not far, and Emerie just not wanting to deal with the transportation issue. After, the house changed its layout, they each get their own apartment. BUT they just couldn’t deal with being alone. The apartment was lonely and it was too quiet and they literally lived right across the hall and they would just keep knocking at each other’s doors and leaving the door open or just not wanting to leave. It was just too large for one person. So, the House makes them a two bedroom and no one can tell if it’s small or if they have just filled with it so much that it just looks small. It’s eclectic and eccentric. Colorful. Plants. Posters and pictures on the wall. Think cottage core mixed with heavy bold fabrics. Messy but not messy. Cluttered but not cluttered. 

A kitchen that’s painted in different colors (Emerie likes to cook and the house respects this) and it juts out to hang over the mountain that overlooks the other side not facing the city, so it’s more mountains and wildflowers and snow in the winter, think picturesque. Very nature. Emerie and Gwyn (and Nesta) will drink hot coco and peer out all the time. This is their happy space. It’s very cozy.

Nesta and Cassian’s Apartment:

Nesta and Cassian’s apartment is two floors. It’s more like a townhouse I suppose. I was going to have the family library connected, but I think the family library stays a common space for everyone. But it is closer to Nesta’s place. The apartment though does have so many books everywhere. The staircase has books running up the side. 

There’s a patio/sunroom now, that overlooks the city and the windows open. There’s bookshelves there too, this is Nesta’s reading area. It has a hanging chair and if Cassian can’t find her in the morning, she is always there with a hot beverage.

This apartment has many rooms like seven and they’re like how are we going to fill this..... it’s my headcanon that the House knows they want a big family and is like whenever y’all are ready, but what really happens is that they end up adopting so many kids over the years that these rooms gets filled up easily. A twelve year old is the first from the continent, Lyra (when they get pregnant years past), then the twins who are from Hybern, then an Illyrian, etc (That’s a post for another time). Their apartment is just really cute and home-y and fun. It’s definitely kid friendly. But it also helps that the two of them are like two big kids themselves so... But it accommodates to suit the amount of people that start living there, who all just have such big, individual personalities and interests and they are all different ages so it’s tough, but it works. And Nesta and Cassian also have space for themselves, especially Nesta who sometimes just needs silence from the noise. Anyways that’s years later, back to regular scheduled programs.

Nesta and Cassian’s home just feels light and airy, and a mixture between hygge, springtime, and rainy days on the beach. Very bright and airy, and Nesta loves this place. Touches of blue of course everywhere, and mostly tans and creams. So, so many windows overlooking the city that have plant boxes on all of them, that are filled with dainty white and blue flowers (The House looks after these--it’s a great gardener too).

Shared/Common Spaces:  

The greenhouse/terrarium place that Nesta ends up practicing magic in most days, is technically located in her apartment, but it also has a door in the private library and then also has a door in the library library. It doesn’t open unless Nesta gives permission to those who enter. So, Nesta ends up giving permission to the priestesses to work up there. Because just like they didn’t mind Bryaxis they really have no concerns with Nesta practicing magic. They’re like this might as well happen. 

But again this place, as I said in my other post, has carnivorous and poisonous plants, and there’s a snake eventually running through this large garden space, and there’s a giant pond in the middle of this place. It should be more concerning but nope. Priestesses really like it up there. They start practicing alchemy too, for those priestesses who dabble in chemistry and the dark arts. Think dark academia.  

I initially thought Elain would like it here, but now that I’m thinking about it Elain would probably be iffy about this place. The plants have a mind of their own here and though she supports her sister in her arts and her magic, she is not keen on being in the center of it all, herself. There’s a certain level of control to gardening and these plants are just... uncontrollable. Elain rather likes adventuring to mean new countries and meeting new people, but not this sort of adventure where you might die if a plant decides it’s a little hungry or someone changed the temperature of the water. Magic is Nesta’s thing. She’ll leave this wild terrarium to Nesta. 

The Kitchen is also a shared space, but only for the residents of the House of Wind. Most people don’t go down there, but Elain does when she visits Nesta and wants to spend some quality time with her (also in my other post). It is alive and it sings. Like there’s something about the kitchen that is always humming as if there’s a old cook’s soul down there or something. Really large. Steam everywhere. The smell of spices wafting. Nesta “accidentally” charms the plates and silverware (think fantasia) but that’s a story for another time. This is another place that juts out in certain areas to have a lot of windows. Not the whole place but quite a bit of it. Think a kitchen that’s alive. 

The library stays the same, because Nesta loves that library and it’s perfect the way it is. <3. 

That’s it for now. I have literally so many Pinterest boards for each individual place but I clearly cannot post them all here so bye!

[hufflepuffhermione]

43 for the prompts? Thanks :)

Prompt: “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Am I overly emotion about the parallels between Rosslyn and Gaza? Absolutely. So what can I do but make everyone else partake in my suffering?

You never really realize the things you take for granted until suddenly they’re stolen from you.

Breath, for one.

Josh wonders if he’d ever given his breathing a second thought before all of this. Maybe during all those meetings with Hoynes jogging along the Potomac, but even his gasps for air were unconsciously displaced by his mind going a million miles a minute on policy or strategy. Maybe, further back, when he had played the trumpet in his high school band for all of three weeks, until he realized that it reminded him too much of Joanie and quit without a word in hopes that he might remember less. They had told him to be consciously aware of his breathing back then, in the hot, windowless band room filled with kids who didn’t appreciate the music the way Joanie did. Maybe the last time he consciously considered his breathing was even before then, when he had been all of eight and his lungs had been filled with smoke and he hadn’t been able to stop coughing. But even then, it hadn’t been something he thought about; he had been too consumed with watching everything he knew in life go down in flames and trying to find Joanie within the chaos. He had failed her, but he could still breathe, so how could he complain about his own shortness of breath when there was no longer air in Joanie’s lungs?

But now? Breathing is about all he can think about.

His pain medication has worn off just enough to allow him to drift into consciousness, so the pain is not awful, at least not compared to how it was when he drifted off however many hours ago. The medication, however, is not at all effective in disgusting the tightness in his chest, or the shallowness of his breath, or the lightheadedness he feels because he’s definitely not getting enough oxygen.

It takes him a minute to realize why everything feels so off, but when he focuses enough to realize just how difficult it is to breathe, he begins to panic. His breaths grow even faster and shallower, and one of the many monitors begins to beep incessantly, and his mind is too addled by drugs to notice Donna until she comes to stand over him and clutches the hand that doesn’t have IV tubes coming out of it. “What’s wrong?” she asks.

He blinks back tears. Where did those come from? In the two days since he woke up from his surgery, he hasn’t cried at all. If he had the capacity to be embarrassed or frustrated, he would have been, but he can’t think about anything else than his struggle to get air into his lungs.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” he whispers. His voice is still raspy from the ventilator that he was on during surgery; this is probably the longest sentence he’s spoken since he woke up.

“I know,” Donna says. “Your lung collapsed and they had to repair it, that’s why.” She squeezes his hand.

He looks up at her with panicked desperation.

“I called the nurse,” Donna continues. Josh is reassured by the sounds of her voice; if she keeps talking, maybe the panic of breathlessness will go away. “They said they might need to switch you to an oxygen mask for a little while. But that’s okay, it’ll help you breathe better. Just breathe with me if you can.”

Josh still can’t do anything but stare at her. He’s not sure that she’s gone home since he was shot; his memory is still fuzzy, but he thinks the clothes she is wearing are the same that he saw when he first woke. He wonders how long it’s been. She has bags under her eyes and her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, a tell-tale sign that she hasn’t washed it in a while, but in his drugged mind, she’s never been more beautiful. Her chest rises and falls steadily, and unconsciously, he tries to match her breathing. He can’t exactly, since something in his chest keeps hitching and he keeps beginning to hyperventilate, but as long as he keeps focused on watching her breathe, it suddenly doesn’t seem so hard to get air into his lungs.

A nurse comes in and checks his oxygen levels, frowning as she moves around her bed. “Mr. Lyman, are you having trouble breathing?”

Josh summons all the energy he can to nod.

“He woke up and started to panic and I think that’s making it worse,” Donna explains, still not letting go of Josh’s hand.

The nurse nods and moves around the bed. “Your O2 levels are low, so I’m going to switch you to an oxygen mask, okay?”

He feels like he’s about to drift off again, too tired to fight against his breathlessness, when the removal of his cannula suddenly makes it even harder to fight for oxygen. The difficulty is relieved quickly after by the placement of an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth, but this induces a sense of claustrophobia that seems to increase the panic rather than relieve it.

“Josh,” he hears, and he thinks it’s coming from Donna but his brain is so fuzzy he can’t quite be sure. “I know it’s hard, but can you keep breathing with me?” She takes in a loud, deep breath and exhales slowly. “Just try to breathe with me.”

It’s a little easier now that he has more oxygen, and as he focuses on matching Donna’s breathing, he can begin to feel the panic melt away.

She reaches out to stroke his sweat-beaded forehead. “It’s going to get easier,” she says. “I promise. We’re just going to breathe through it.”

-

Donna blinks against the light steaming in through the blinds. God, she aches everywhere, although her leg throbs with a vengeance unmatched by the rest of her body. But worse than any of that is the tightness in her chest, the difficulty of getting air into her lungs.

She reaches for the morphine clicker and presses the button; she’s not sure how long she’s been out, but surely it’s been long enough for her to have another dose.

That won’t help with the breathing, though.

She looks to the figure in the chair by her bed. He’s asleep in a position which cannot possibly be comfortable, but he’s here. How is he here, all the way in Germany? He shouldn’t be here, he should be in DC. Surely the President needs him.

But Josh is here.

It takes a minute for her to remember that he had been here before, too, the minute she had first woken up. How had he managed that? Why did he bother?

She tries to take in another breath, but starts coughing instead, a painful, sharp cough that seems to tear at her insides.

Josh is up in an instant, on his feet, his eyes meeting hers. “Donna,” he says, and she’s certain she’s never heard her name spoken so softly, so reverently. “Donna, do you need something?”

“I feel…” she stars, and it strikes her just how difficult it is to get the words out when she doesn’t have enough breath, “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Josh’s face falls, but he tries to disguise it as best he can. “Yeah. They said you’ve got a collapsed lung, that’s why it’s so hard to breathe,” he said. “It’s not too bad, though; you didn’t need surgery for it and it’ll reinflate in the next few days.” He cracks a smile at her, although she can tell it’s taking everything in him. “If your goal was to outdo me, Donnatella, I think I’ve got you beat since they had to go in and patch up my lung when it collapsed.”

Donna manages a ghost of a smile, but it disappears when she tries to take in another breath and feels like she can’t get any air.

Noting the distress on her face, Josh takes her hand. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, alright? I know better than anyone how much this sucks. It’ll suck for a few days or weeks, and it might even feel worse when they bring in a respiratory therapist to torture you, but I’m not going to let you slack off on your breathing exercises because you never let me.”

Josh settles himself on the side of the bed, deciding the chair is not nearly close enough. He still hasn’t shaved and his pallor might best be described as ‘gray’, and Donna wonders if she looked that bad after spending days without leaving the hospital when their roles were reversed. Her thoughts are interrupted again by the panic rising up in her when she tries to take a deep breath.

“Hey, I know you don’t think I remember this,” Josh continues, “but when I woke up and couldn’t breathe, you did it for me. Not literally, but you told me to breathe with you and that kept me calm enough to avoid completely panicking. So I’m going to breathe in and out slowly, and try your best to do it with me. It might hurt and you might not be able to do it, and that’s okay, but here.” He takes a sharp, loud inhale, and follows it with a slow exhale. “Breathe through it, Donna. It’s going to be okay.”

-

Having a private office to change in is really quite a step up from changing in the dingy West Wing bathrooms. She’s wearing a new dress, one Josh gave her at Christmas (although she suspects he might have asked CJ for some help picking it out). She notices, with a tug of her heart, that the slit goes up the left side of the dress, and it is otherwise not short enough to reveal her scars. That, she’s sure, was something that Josh thought of.

The first state dinner of the Santos administration is upon them, with the Prime Minister of Germany as the guest of honor. She knows Josh is a little nervous about the event—he had a run-in with the Prime Minister back when he was Deputy Chief of Staff that did not go so well—but he’s matured and she hopes that all will be forgotten.

She pulls on her heels, takes a minute to steady herself, and heads towards Josh’s office. One of these days, she’ll make him come over to her office so she doesn’t have to make this trek in heels, but she knows that he’s barely got time to breathe, let alone walk across the building.

Donna knocks on the door to his office and enters, grinning as she does.

He holds up a finger without even looking up to see who it is. “Sorry, just gotta finish reading this,” he mutters.

She rolls her eyes, but allows an indulgent smile that he won’t see. He works so hard, but he really is trying to make time for her. He’s already dressed in his tuxedo, although his jacket is lying on the couch in the corner, and his bowtie is, unsurprisingly, hanging undone around his neck.

Finally, he stands up from his desk and really begins to take her in. “Donna, you look…” He shakes his head, and clutches his hands to his chest dramatically, collapsing back into the chair. “God, Donna, I feel like I can’t breathe?”

“What? What’s wrong?” Donna asks immediately, her mind running through all of the horrific possibilities before she can manage to notice that he has a smile on his face. “Is it your lungs? Your heart? Josh…” She realizes she’s standing right next to him, clutching his hand, and he’s grinning up at her.

“I was going to say, I feel like I can’t breathe because you take my breath away, but you didn’t let me get that far,” Josh replies, chuckling.

Donna frowns. “You were so dramatic about it, I thought…”

“What can I say? I enjoy being a little dramatic from time to time.”

“It’s just… Josh, don’t do that to me again. You scared me?”

His face softens. “I scared you?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… the last time you said that was after you’d been shot, and I thought…” she shakes her head as if the memory will dissipate. “And then you were clutching your chest…” She doesn’t want to think about it anymore, but there’s a part of her that will never not be worried about him.

Josh stands up and wraps his arms around her. “I’m sorry, I really wasn’t trying to scare you.”

“I know,” Donna says.

“The compliment still stands, though. You look incredible in that dress,” he says. “I mean, I think you’d look even better out of it, but I’m not sure the Prime Minister of Germany would agree with me.”

Donna reaches to his shoulders and takes the ends of his bowtie in her hands. “Need me to do this?”

“Always,” Josh replies.

She steps back and takes a look at her handiwork. “You know, once in a while, you look good enough to take my breath away too. In the best way possible.”

“I can think of another way to take your breath away,” Josh says, reaching forward to take her face in his hands and kiss her until they both have to come up for air. “Was that good?”

“All of a sudden, I think I like feeling like I can’t breathe,” Donna teases, before going back for more.

[moosoobi]

Revelation

In the night: Chapter 1

T.Jeffy- Hamilton: the musical

Thomas’s interest in Y/N pulls him into a position he was previously blind to. They say every girl’s another mystery, but definitely not like this. Buckle your seatbelt Tommy, you’re in for a ride

Finally finished the first part of ITN (which is ironic since the moment I wrote this message I still haven’t finished it). I really hope I’m able to bring this story to life the way I want to and I hope y’all enjoy 😔💕. Here’s some stuff to expect:

Told from Thomas’s POV

Modern Au

College talk even though I’m literally in my second year of high school (so please bear with me) 

Ruh roh moments

Sorta weird POV/storytelling (I’m new to writing fics and stuff so this is definitely a learning opportunity) Also excuse my English errors: Though this is my only language, my school system seemed to fail in teaching me how to write

Word count: 6.7k (including separators) 

2 DISCLAIMERS:

TW: itty bitty angst, themes of injury/blood, etc. 

I’m not the best story writer, so after reading this chapter you may have many questions. Please keep in mind that this is one chapter out of (about) 10. Things that you may not understand in this chapter will most likely be explained in future chapters.

-Now Playing: In The Night by The Weeknd-

My God, she’s perfect 

     The way the sunlight reflects off of her glass skin. The sincerity in every word, every letter that she writes with her only pencil. To be that flawless, it’s a mystery to me. She takes a glance at me. Did she feel me staring? I duck down my head in embarrassment. 

“Jefferson, you oughta put that scholarship to good use”

     Professor Washington boomed to the entire class. I hear a fragment of her giggle. Her laugh is soft and naïve. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of her happiness.

     Washington is right, though. It's my first semester after I came back from my student exchange program over in France and I can already feel my sanity slipping. France was a beauty to visit, so many customs and cultures I wish I could be flourished in right now. 

     But there was one thing great about going to school in New York: I get to sit in a classroom with Y/N L/N. 

     I’ve never talked to her formally, at least not yet. She’s always sitting alone, never answers any questions, but Professor Washington makes the class acknowledge her perfect test scores and fascinating interpretations 

     As the bell rings I watch her stand swiftly. Is she in a rush? I can't help but watch as her hair is flung over her shoulder. She stuffs her notebooks and singular pencil into her burgundy-magenta backpack. Hey, at least she has good taste in color. 

I don’t think you understand

     She sits alone everyday during lunch, yet she never looks bothered. Her energy is so compelling to me. A feeling about her that I cannot comprehend, something that feels greater than my existence. I just got to know. 

“Thomas, you gotta work on staring at people less noticeable” James catches my attention by pointing his fork a little too close to my face. 

      I was staring? Again?

     I shake my head to snap back to reality

“The great Thomas Jefferson is interested in someone for longer than 30 seconds. I gonna be honest with you Thom, that’s impressing”

     I hear James laugh as he violently stabs a few pieces of pasta onto his fork. 

     James has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We went to the same middle and high school down in Virginia, and just coincidentally ended up going to the same college in New York. 

     We’re always there for each other. I remember cheering for him at a high school assembly after he won a story writing challenge, he’s such a nerd. Then again, he had to drive me home a couple of times after I failed multiple driving tests.

     Back in high school, James was the Chess Club Champion, a title he always shoved down my throat. It’s no secret why, though. He’s really good at thinking things through, While I on the other hand tend to dive headfirst into the abyss.

“Shut it James” I sarcastically retort, taking a sip of the expensive chocolate milk which my scholarship supposedly pays for 

Hey, can I sit here?

     I talked to her during class. Her voice is angelic: Now, I’m not one to be religious and all, but that voice could get me on my knees praying for forgiveness. My ego couldn’t get me anywhere at all, as if she already knew my tactics, she knew my flirts, and how? I guess it just adds to her mystery.

“C'mon! that one works every time!” I whine

“Don't be so full of yourself Jefferson, I’ve heard them all before” A smile danced across her face

     She did, however, laugh at some of my remarks. It's good to know that she has a sense of humor. My jokes of Professor Washington’s shiny, bald head. The jokes of Professor Washington’s assistant, John Adams, who’s suspiciously absent considering he signed up for this job.

     Heck, I would even make fun of myself if it meant I got to hear that graceful laugh one more time- actually, that might be a little too far.

     Many days of giggling in class came after that day. I can see her starting to open up to my friends and I, like she’s spreading her wings and showing us the greatness that lies behind the social wall that she put up years ago. Even when we got in trouble for a little too much giggling in the back of the class, I sacrificed my own pride so she didn’t have to. Yes, I, Thee Thomas Jefferson, did that. 

---

     Even though I could see the social wall she put up, I knew one day Y/n would fall for my charming pick up lines, or maybe I just happened to have a lucky day:

“Y/N I need some a some help with my math homework” 

     Y/N glances over to me in concern. I fake a scared expression.

“Quick!” I swiftly grab her shoulder and shake her “What’s your phone number?”

     She playfully smacks my arm

---

     Obtaining her number felt like a rite of passage, like I’m important to her, like she wants me in her life. I couldn’t stop smiling that day, and of course James just had to make a comment on it. 

“Thomas, if you keep smiling like that I’m going to start thinking that your sick or something”

      James said as he shut my laptop, tired of waiting for me to pack my things.

“Now that's REAL ironic coming from you, James” 

      I raised an eyebrow as my laugh begins to come up my throat. I take my closed laptop and shove it somewhere into my backpack.

“Okay, leaving for a month in sophomore year just because of a little fever doesn’t make ‘being sick’ as part of my trade mark” 

     James playfully smacked the back of my head. Thankfully, my curls serve as protection, not just to make me sinfully handsome. James and I walk out of the freezing lecture hall and were hit with the crisp-coldness of New York.

     To the right of me I catch a glimpse of that eye catching burgundy-magenta backpack as it’s thrown into the trunk of a shiny, expensive car. My feet keep its motion as my head turns to see Y/N standing at the door of the car. 

“Yo, is that Y/N?” I hear James whisper behind me “and who’s that?” 

     My attention is suddenly drawn to the tall man walking around the car to open her door. His curly hair is pulled into a small bun and the smile he had on his face broke apart the stubble on his jaw. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. 

“I’m just as clueless as you are”

     Keeping my glance on Y/N and the man, I watch as the man opens the door for her. My stomach turns as I watch Y/N smile back at him as she sits in the car. 

     For a split second, I swear I saw her shoot a soft glance at me. My feet almost stop in their tracks before I feel James’ hand yank me onto another pathway. 

“I’m all for you being head over heels, but we’re gonna be late to our study session with Angie” 

     Reality starts to set back into my head. 

“Right, lets dip.” 

---

“So little Tommy is Infatuated with this woman?”

     Angie’s eyes are piercing, and her luscious hair frames her face in a saintly manner. She slips off her baby pink coat to ease into her library seat. Her eyebrow raises as she takes a sip of her steaming coffee

     Of course James wouldn’t shut his mouth, especially around the notorious Angelica Schuyler.

     Angie’s pretty popular here, I find myself wondering why she has so many connections, yet it’s not just any reason(s) why she seems to be in the spotlight.

     1: She’s the oldest Schuyler. Her last name definitely got her places, not like I’m one to talk. Everyone seems to know her, not just at school, but all around New York City, and with her 5,000 Instagram followers, her first name’s starting to catch up with her last name in popularity

     2: Angie’s Daddy has money money. And that’s no secret when she decides to walk around campus with her designer handbags and shoes. I tend to think she always gets what she wants, but I know deep down, she’s never gonna be satisfied. Maybe it’s just a side effect of growing up with a silver spoon in your mouth

     And finally,

     3: Miss Schuyler here is Bold. She’s never afraid to put both me and James in our place. It’s almost as if she can’t be touched by anyone’s thoughts of her, then again the gossip in NYC is terribly insidious. With such grace and respect, Angelica is not afraid to throw your opinion into the ground.

“Yeah I swear, Jefferson would’ve gotten run over if I didn’t pull him onto the pathway” James attempted to tone down his laugh so the librarian wouldn’t stab him with those old, sharp eyes

“She-...”

For the first time, I didn’t know how to recoil

 “..Just caught me off guard.”. In an attempt to change the topic, I flipped through the pages of his textbook. 

Angelica and James shared an astonished glance at Thomas before looking at each other. I could hear James shrug and flipping open his textbook. I lift my head as I hear Angelica dig through her bag

“Alright let’s get started” Angie claps her hands together with determination

—-

     It’s been 2 hours of studying in the ghostly library. Unfortunately, I can’t avoid the talk forever.

“Hey Thomas, why don’t you invite her to our next study session?”

     Angelica smirked as she rudely shut my laptop. I desperately imagine the day where both James and Angelica leave me alone. I angrily glare up at her, but she has a good idea

“Actually, that’s not to bad of an idea” I ponder for a moment before retrieving my phone from my pocket

Thomas: Hey Y/N, u free this week?

     Hmm. Is this okay? Nah it’s too straight forward. I sigh as I deleted and retyped the message

Thomas: Greetings Ms. L/N, this is Mr. Jefferson from class. Would you delight me by partaking in a study session? 

What the heck Jefferson? I began to get frustrated from this nonsense. It’s just a text, why am I getting so anal over it?

Thomas: Hey Y/N, ds@insdas/19z7dnesdc-

     Angelica, who was watching me the entire time, snatched the phone from my hands. I attempted to protest, yet Angelica Schuyler knows how to hold her ground.

“Angie wh-” 

“I’ll do you a favor, Jefferson.” She said sternly. There was no way I was getting that phone back, heck, I would be lucky if I got it back in one piece

“Aaaaand sent!” I heard her squeal 

     Angelica suddenly tossed the phone to me and I fumbled it between my hands before I held it stably. I check to see the text that Angelica sent from my phone

Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?

Oh. It was that easy.

“Thanks Angie”

I shove my phone back in my pocket. Part of me was excited to have an excuse to text Y/N, yet I do wonder how awkward it would be if she rejected the offer. I mean, she already has the perfect grades, why would she need the extra help?

I start to rethink my decision.

—-

     It wasn’t until 11 pm at night until I got a reply from Y/N. Beforehand, I arrived at my apartment around 8 pm. As soon as my door shut, the room was filled with growls indicating my current problem: hunger. That could only be solved with one solution: microwavable mac and cheese. 

     My phone dinged while I was laying motionless on my bed. My apartment was right next to the street, and all I could hear was the busy streets of New York City.

     My eyes opened as I turned to my charging phone. 

Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way

     I was filled with joy, so much that I couldn’t wait another second to reply. 

Thomas: Alright, we meet at the library after our class. Can you make it? 

     Seeing the three dots jump melodically made my stomach feel as if two fairies were dancing throughout my body. Any second now, any second. ding!

Y/N: sounds good!

     I guess it’s settled, I get to hang out with the puzzling Y/N L/N, and maybe I’ll get to learn a bit more about her. But just because it’s a study session doesn’t mean I can’t show her what a southern gentleman looks like, and for the first time, I’m so excited to study

---

     James, Y/N, and I walk out of professor Washington’s class, laughing our asses off over some stupid joke. Everyone around us appears to be annoyed, especially with having to sit through almost two hours of my friends and I laughing in the back of the class, but it’s not like I care.

     Once we’re hit by the bitter cold of New York, my eyes are immediately drawn to that expensive car. So familiar and so faint in head, the memory of Y/N smiling as she hopped into his car replays in my brain.

“I’ll be back guys”

     Y/N excuses herself from the group before lightly jogging to the car. Her hair was graceful in the wind, and her burgundy-magenta backpack didn’t seem to weigh her down at all. For a split second, my brain acknowledges that mysterious man in the driver’s seat. There was a moment of awkward eye contact with him, his cold eyes pierced through me before my attention was drawn back to Y/N. She fixes her hair and jacket.

That was cute.

What?

     James and I watch Y/N before turning to each other. I suggest to James that we wait for her, show a little southern hospitality. Even though Y/N seems to be fond of this man, he gives off a mysterious vibe similar to Y/N’s, but I do not want to unravel that mystery at all.

     Seeing him throw a smirk at Y/N causes discomfort in my stomach. 

     Y/N comes prancing back to us, an embarrassed smile on her face. Behind her, that shiny, expensive car begins to drive away.

“My bad, I forgot to tell my roommate that I would be out late”

“That’s your roommate?” James asks, attempting to hide his curiosity and shock

“and he takes you home after class?” I interrupt briefly

Y/N nervously laughs before nodding “something like that, he just..”

     That pause was a little too long

“..doesn’t like me out of the house too late so he volunteers to drive me home all the time”

     I shrug it off before jumping at the feeling of James’ warm hands pulling Y/N and I to the direction of the library. Y/N and I look at him with confusion

“What? Angie doesn’t like when we’re late, remember?” James says, practically dragging us to the Library

—-

“Nice to meet you”

     Angelica and Y/N got along pretty well. I can tell Angie was happy to finally have a girl to hangout with rather than having to deal with me and James only. She’s already starting to resemble a sisterly figure to Y/N, then again, growing up with two sisters must’ve prepared Angie for this moment.

     I don’t hear much about the other Schuylers, but I am familiar with them. Angelica is the oldest, as we know. Her first sister, Eliza Sch- I’m pretty sure she got married, is the nicest person you’ll meet. Whoever won her surely must be worthy, because we all know people like me wouldn’t get anywhere near Eliza thanks to her older sister. Her youngest sister, Margarita Peggy Schuyler, is just like Angelica.

     Stubborn. As. Fuck.

     I’m confident that Angelica has taught her that philosophy since she was born. Anyway, Peggy is currently living her dreams in Southern California. Not sure what she does, but I’m sure she’s financially stable, she is a Schuyler after all.

     All of us struggle to not annoy the librarian, let alone the entire library. I watch as Y/N opens up, just a little more, to Angelica, James, and I.

     Hours pass as we clown around in the library. From actually completing class work to a small drawing competition between James and I, I was certainly having a good time, and so was everyone else.

     It was pleasing to see Y/N more laid back rather than how she acts in class. In front of Professor Washington she’s so ‘put together’ and organized, but surrounded by her friends she’s such an amazing person, her range in professionalism and humor is astounding.

     I can’t seem to ignore the fact that Angelica notices the way I look at Y/N. It’s definitely not in my strong suit to be ‘low key’, I’m known for dramatic entrances and stealing the spotlight. She smiles when I make eye contact with her, and I’m pretty sure it’s just her way of annoying me, but I can’t help the way I look at Y/N. She really is an angel sent down from heaven, disguised as a college student, and I’m just lucky enough to be her friend.

     I’m blind to her flaws. When I see her, I feel like a tourist glancing at the Mona Lisa, memorizing every curve of her face, the way her hair falls around her shoulders, and the way the library lighting reflects off of her glowing skin.

     What felt like a sledgehammer breaking a slab of fragile glass, I see Y/N’s phone light up. Even across the table I can read the word “Lafayette” off of her phone. I can’t lie, it surely sounds familiar.

     When she finally noticed her phone flash on, I feel her ease turn into worry, and it definitely didn’t go unnoticed by James, Angie, and I. She starts to pack away her books

“My bad guys, I really gotta go”

     Y/N said notably panicking. Her phone flashes once again, yet the only thing that seems to catch my eyes is the bold “7:30” spread across the top of her phone.

“Are you okay by yourself?” I asked, trying my best not to pry into her business

“Yeah, my roommates here to pick me up, I don’t want to make him wait” she tried to play it off, but I’m learning to see right through her

“Alright, see you next time Y/N” I shrug it off

     She sends my friends and I a quick smile before replying

“for sure”

     Angelica and James got back to work without saying a word, and I could tell they were waiting until she was gone to start teasing me. I eased back into my chair before flipping the pages of my notebook

     I watched as she shoved open the library door and disappeared into the darkness. She’s such a mystery, when I feel like she’s opening up, she just shuts the door and we’re back at square one. Though I do claim to love a good challenge, Y/N L/N, I will never understand you.

—-

     And that’s when it started. It wasn’t just one time where 7:30 was Y/N magic number, oh no, it was oddly consistent. I’m convinced that Y/N is some variation of Cinderella; her polite attitude and the beautiful little things she does without acknowledging it all vanish when the clock strikes 8:00, but that’s just one of many theories made by James.

     Another study session with James and Angelica, and Y/N’s flashing screen still compelled Y/N to leave the library without a trace. On some occasions we don’t even notice her escape, we just turn to see her seat empty and feel the faint wind from outside as the library door slowly closes.

     One day Angie bought us all tickets to see the preview to the newest, scariest movie I’ve ever watched. I was accompanied by Y/N, James, and Angie, yet their presences made it worse. Halfway through the bucket of popcorn and the movie, Y/N suddenly stood up and left after saying those 5 words. Before she left, I felt the warmth of her hands leave the place on my arm.

I never knew how addicting her warmth would be until it was already gone.

“Sorry guys, I gotta go” The weak smile on her face instantly resonated feelings of sympathy and understanding.

     From then on, Y/N and I grew closer as friends. We’d fool around at a local park before heading to campus, obviously sparking a few observations and remarks from James. I’d invite her to fancy dinners, or maybe even a small festival down the road from my apartment, yet her response would always be proven false at the moment she’d leave me and my thoughts at 7:30.

     But that hasn’t stopped me from attempting to hang out with her. Even on the days I wouldn’t have class with her we’d go out and get ice cream, study at the park, I guess you can say we’ve gone on a few ‘dates’ since our initial study session.

     Whenever we’re apart, I can feel every second expanding to its maximum capacity of time. I wouldn’t see her for a day and it will already feel like years since I’ve seen her. The days I do see her, time seems to maneuver a little too fast. When I recall hanging out with Y/N, all I can imagine is the feeling of floating above the clouds every time she and I made physical contact. Like a rock being dropped into still water, ever touch ripples throughout my body, sending shivers down my spine.

Truly incredible.

—-

     She doesn’t like to talk about her personal life, and I find that quite odd. I’m usually one to continue rambling every detail of every trait of mine, yet I find myself yearning to learn more about her. 

     We text every now and then when we’re outside of class, a little more to be considered ‘just friends’. There’s always a story which unravels just a little more of Y/N’s past, and she’s left me on my own to connect the dots. I must say, she’s definitely an interesting gal, but I know there’s more to discover. 

     She’s a native New Yorker, born and raised, surviving by splitting an intense rent with her mysterious room mate. Y/N doesn’t talk much of her family, other than faint memories of her mother single handedly raising her and her little brother, who I’m fairly unaware of.

     Going into college undecided, Y/N describes her want to learn more about herself before she’s able to make any life determining choices. I’ve noticed that her schedule seems like a labyrinth avoiding life problems and obstacles, so perhaps being placed in the same class coincidentally was just fate playing its part.

     Y/N loves to explain her dream for workless weekends, moments in the week where she just gets to sit back, close her eyes, and breathe a little. With finals starting to appear from thin air, I can’t blame her for a dream so far from reality.

     Even with the knowledge I hold of her, something never seems to change: her disappearances at 7:30.

It’s always that damn 7:30.

     7:30--the cliffhanger your favorite show leaves you desiring for more

     the end of a fun night of laughter and glee, wishing it lasted just a little longer 

     the off-set energy in a room when those around you know something you don’t. 

     As days, weeks, and months pass since my first text proposal to hang out at the library, Y/N and I become a little closer than just friends. It’s been obvious, especially to James and Angie, that Y/N is more than capable of holding my attention.

     Though James is worried that Y/N will just become ‘another girl’ to me, concerning my tomcat nature in the past, he can see the potential I see in her. I find myself wishing I did spend more time with her, maybe I just need to make a better effort.

     I’ll prove James and Angie wrong. 

     Filled with determination and confidence, in the midst of my silent room, I whip out my phone and direct my attention towards forming a text message for Y/N

Thomas: let’s get coffee sometime?

     Jefferson charm, don’t fail me now.

---

     Before I knew it, Y/N and I were feasting on exotic cheeses and aged wine in my New York apartment. I hit play on a random romcom which helps to fill the emptiness in my apartment and ironically the thin space between Y/N and I. 

     I have no idea how to make my move. Though I’m not aware of my competition, I imagine if Y/N could attract someone of My caliber, I should be well aware of the things she’s capable of. Originally I planned to court her-- I know, I know, I’m a man of tradition--yet after James caught on to my recognizable frustration, He suggested I go for it. 

     This is surprising on multiple occasions, especially since James possesses the ‘brains’ between the both of us. Being the chess club champion, ‘talk’ won’t aid you when you're struggling in a chess match. Just like how he meticulously plays chess, he examines my situation and provides his Virginian insight, or so he prefers to call it, and they always proceed the way his scheme describes. 

     I’ve adhered his advice to my life ever since we were kids, and when I didn’t, he’d simply reply with: 

“I told you so” 

     His smug smirk accompanied with a finger pointing to his temple would soon transform from clever to annoying. 

     I feel a vibration come from my pocket. Well, of course it’s not Y/N texting so must I really answer it? I pull out my phone despite my doubts and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

James: 👍

Speak of the Devil.

     But enough about James. I understand that both Y/N and I are mature college students, yet I still fear the disruption in our friendship I can provoke just by making my move. I’ve gotten this far; If she wasn’t interesting I’m sure she would’ve rejected me sooner. 

     She’s different, she’s unique, something about her that I just can’t place, but also something missing. Anyway, this is probably my best chance at shooting my shot at Y/N, and it’s too late now to back down. 

     As my lips part in an attempt to speak and make a move, Y/N’s motionless phone (currently laying undisturbed on my coffee table) suddenly brightens with the most obnoxious ringtone I’ve ever heard. The words “It’s 7:30!” flash on her screen, almost as if it was warning her rather than reminding her. 

“Y/N—” my eyes follow her body as she swiftly stands up

“I gotta g—” I watch as she attempts to grab her purse, yet her body is limited when I firmly grab her arm. She looks back to me with tiredness in her eyes.

     Part of me thought maybe, just maybe, Cinderella here wouldn’t have a curfew. That I somehow would be the exemption to this consistent confusion . But you can only daydream so far into the day until you’re pulled back into your reality

     Her entire demeanor seems like it was reconstructed after her alarm went off. Moments ago she was just enjoying tasty cheese and cheesy movies, and the worst part is, I have no idea why.

“Let me speak, darlin’”

     I stand up to avoid the way her eyes look down on me. I can’t stand that pitiful glare; she looks at me as if I’m a child incapable of understanding her situation, but she’s too stubborn to let me know. I’d be wise to use this time to make a move on different circumstances.

“Now, you’re always leaving at seven thirty..”

     Her sigh is almost enough to interrupt me

“..why’s that? Talk to me.”

     I maintain my eye contact before it’s abruptly broken. She looks everywhere but my eyes, and I wonder where in my apartment she would find an excuse, yet still manages to dodge the question.

“..you wouldn’t understand..” she scoffs almost intentionally, honestly scratching a part of my ego. I hate to admit she’s right, I really don’t understand what’s going on.

     I cock my head to the side. Where’s this coming from?

“Darlin’, I’m sure I’m a very understanding person—”

“—I need to leave”

     I could tell by the look of her face that she wasn’t trying to argue, but it’s inevitable.

“Why can’t you just tell me?..” I put my hands up as a sign of defeat, but I’m not giving up yet. “We’ve been friends for a while and you’re always leavin’ at seven—”

“I know! I know..” she removes my hand from her arm, clearly refusing to look up at me.

“Let’s just say..I got a job..?”

     Oh. That’s what this is all about? A job? She couldn’t spare at least an explanation for a part time gig?

“See? That wasn’t so hard”

“It’s..really embarrassing..” The glance she takes around the room makes me wonder if she’s really telling the truth. it’s not really my place to speculate, there’s no going back from this.

“It’s alright, it’s just a job after all” I claim, trying to get this conversation back on track

“This is exactly what I meant but ‘you wouldn’t understand’”

Huh?

“You don’t know what it feels like to have your life rely on minimum wage—” she sounds like she’s holding something back.

“Y/N wher—”

“A-and here you are makin’ me late for work” her eyes appear on the verge of crying.

“darlin’ look..”

“God, you’ve never had to work for anything in your life!”

Silence.

     Both of us refuse to speak. Y/N phone, still on the table, chimes again. “7:35” it said on its bright screen.

“Is that really how you feel?..” I take a step back to give her space. She still refuses to look at me.

     There’s no way she’d cause all this chaos just because of a job. And even if she believes I’ve piggy backed off of my name for my entire life, why would it matter to her?

“I..I should leave” before I could process what just happened, she swiftly tosses her phone into her bag and heads for the door.

“Y’know, I had a nice time..” was all I heard before the harsh shutting of my apartment door.

     And that was the end of it.

     My first thought after the door shut wasn’t to whip out my phone and attempt to text her, it certainly wasn’t to call James and inform him of his miscalculation, but instead to attend to the matter at hand. This cheese and wine won’t clean itself.

     And the night continued normally, as if nothing had ever taken place. I couldn’t help but microwave another cup of Mac and cheese to cope with what Y/N said. Nothin’ like a good meal to divert your attention away from your problems. But even a good cup of cheese and pasta can’t stop me from thinking’: 

Is that all I am to her?

A southern snob incapable of functioning without their father’s last name?

     After an introspective shower, and a few episodes of a random Netflix show, I’m finally alone with my thoughts and feelings. I lie in darkness, tussling and turning at every occasion, unable to extract her words from my mind. 

     If there’s someone whose opinion I care about the most, it’s Y/N L/N. I consider texting her at this very moment, yet I’m sure that I’m the last person she wants to talk to. The weight of my actions falls heavily onto my shoulders every minute, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Give her space, Jefferson, and maybe you’ll be able to fix this tragedy. 

---

Knock! Knock! Knock!

     The knocks on my apartment door were enough to jerk my body back to consciousness. Sadly pulled from the warmth of my dreams, I’m hit with the cold, noisy reality of an average night here in New York.

Can my day get any worse?

     Coming straight from the depths of slumber, I take a few minutes to process reality. Maybe the knocks were in my head. Did I dream about someone knocking on my door? Perhaps it’s

The sun’s still not up yet, why am I?

     Groggily sitting up, I decide to check the time, yet it takes me multiple attempts to grab my phone in the dark before I catch a sight of the time.

2 am?!

     Who is so out of their minds so show up to my apartment at this time? Who do I know that would show up at this time?

James is too sensible for that,

Angie would never waste her time on me, for whatever reason,

And Y/N—

well.

I don’t know our circumstances right now.

     I debate whether or not I should answer the door. Perhaps it’s just rock that happened to hit the door of my apartment, and even if it is a person, I’m not aware of anyone so mad to show up in the middle of the night. it’s not worth my time.  

...

...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

     So much for ‘Not worth my time’. A groan is all my body can respond with while I gradually stand from the comfort of my bed. I grab the nearest shirt, which was draped over my desk chair, and scramble to put it on. Passing my cramped kitchen, my hands subconsciously flip on the nearest light switches, while my eyes struggle to comprehend the sudden light. 

     Before I reach the door, I couldn’t help but attempt to fix my hair. Just because someone happens to show up outside unannounced doesn’t mean I can’t present my best rendition of a southern gentleman. 

     And finally, through my fatigue and irritation, I’m finally urged to grab the doorknob and twist it open in one motion. 

“Uh, it’s two a.m. so I hope--” 

     I nervously scratch the back of my head, attempting to add spice to this awkward encounter. It wasn’t until my eyes caught sight of the blood dripping down her glass skin and the meeting of our eyes did I have any words

“Y/N?!?”  

     Her cold, pale, and hurt body would’ve hit the concrete floor if I had answered the door any later.

--- 

     And there she layed half colorless on my bed. Her smile was full of embarrassment and gratitude as I sat beside her, tending to the evident cuts and Injured areas of her body. “I hope I’m being a great house guest” she joked, causing her to laugh, yet hurting herself in the process. 

“Hey, Hey, Take it easy..” Y/N’s presence usually fills me with carefreeness, or perhaps stability, but for the first time I can’t help but react seriously. Her demeanor changed as she saw my retaliation to her joke. 

“I guess…” she looked down to her fragile body, a sigh released, seeming to be an attempt to calm down. “...I owe you an explanation for earlier. And especially for showing up at your place at 2 in the damn morning. ” 

     Thomas’ hands, full of wipes and hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton balls, froze in their tracks before he looked up at her, eager to listen and visibly confused. Y/N visibly winced as the cotton balls stuck to her cuts for longer than they should’ve, yet with Thomas’ reflexes at their all-time-max, he pulled them away with a worried expression.

“Explanation? You said you got a job, and I’m sorry for not respecting it..” I continued to clean her up, consensually of course, how could I call myself a gentleman if I were to act upon improper motives? 

“Again..” I utter quietly “..I didn’t know you felt that way, and I’m ashamed you feel that way” 

     I attach an ivory-colored band aid to her glass skin, careful not to damage it any further. I look up to her watching, pitiful eyes. “You were saying?” I reciprocate the attention to her, awaiting a so-called answer to come out of her mouth 

“I didn’t know where else to run to..” she attempted to sit up, lifting her weight off of my satin-covered sheets, yet quickly stopped when being hit with a wave of pain from her right shoulder 

     Though my first thought would’ve been ‘Damn it, my darn sheets are ruined’, it was quickly drawn to Y/N and her current problem 

“Y’know, I think an apology and explanation can wait, Y/N. you need a little sleep, it’s already three in the mornin’ for god’s sake” a small laugh erupts from her

    I sent her an assuring smile, trying to remind her that everything is always going to be okay in a Jefferson household. And surprisingly I received a smile in return, a smile of trust and security that I’ve never felt so glad to see. Of course, I wish I could’ve seen that smile under different circumstances, but I’ll work with what I got. 

     I stood from my beautiful satin sheets and reached for a hoodie on my swivel chair. (everything but your closet is a closet, change my mind) I braced for a cold night on my apartment couch while Y/N enjoys the warmth of my bed, but Y/N had other plans. 

“Wait- Thomas.” She said firmly 

     I turned tiredly to her direction, my arm already extended for the door, yet frozen in place as I awaited a response 

“Can you just..” she scoot herself over, as much as possible with her frail body “..hold me?” She watches me anxiously 

“I mean— you don’t have to b—” I didn’t hesitate at all to gently slide under the sheets of the bed. As soon as I turn to her direction, I can’t help but feel scared to touch her in fear of hurting her; my hands don’t know where to reside. “Where do I..” I’m truly perplexed 

     She giggled at my confusion and shyly grabbed my hand “I’m not so fragile you know” 

     She brought my hand up to the side of her head, and all I could process was the texture of the bandages under my fingertips. I don’t know what's going on, but I couldn’t just leave her out there. 

“..Right..” I wait for her eyes to close before I can even think about closing mine, and soon the texture of the bandages seem to melt onto my fingertips as I’m finally able to return to my slumber. 

“See you in the mornin’..” 

---

     I didn’t wake up until I felt the sun rays kissing my back through my so-called ‘blackout curtains’. Such a scam. The room seemed a little too quiet; I gently turned onto my other side just to find an empty bed. I consider the possibility of last night’s encounter with Y/N was all just some messed up dream, but when I saw the faint stains of blood on my sheets, I knew I was far from dreaming. 

     My body doesn’t want to move, and I’m stuck sitting up in my bed for another ten minutes. What the heck is going on? One minute she yells at me, then next thing I know she’s outside my apartment at 2 am. 

And that explanation. 

     I guess I was such a fool to think she wouldn’t continue to run away from this matter. My thoughts are interrupted by my buzzing phone. I know for sure that it’s not Y/N hittin up my phone right about now. 

James: Let’s try that new coffee place a few blocks from your apartment? 

     He really read my mind, or maybe it’s a response made from calculating my failure yesterday. But a distraction sounds tremendous. 

Thomas: bet. 

     I throw on a cleaner, more professional jacket, if such a thing exists, and swiftly get my feet out the door. Everything seems the same, as if nothing had taken place last night. The world still spins and I’m expected to spin with it. 

I don’t think I’m anywhere near capable of unraveling your mystery. 

Y/N L/N, I will never understand you.

[phatphrog]

Zuko would be a Gryffindor and no, you can’t change my mind.

helloooo tumblr. I’m back from my lil hiatus- for now ;) but most importantly, I offer you this as I crawl out of my cave:

so, brief intro. This is based off of my original comments on Pinterest (pictured above), but hopefully written to be a bit more coherent. That comment section had some intense debates, but it was fun seeing everyone’s takes, so I thought I’d bring it over here. I saw lot of people on the Zuko=Slytherin side but, as you can see, I have some strong opinions to the contrary. You guys don’t know this about me but I was obsessed with Harry Potter for a longgg time. I may not be as actively into it now, but once a Potterhead always a Potterhead. That being said- this is all for fun! Reblog/comment your thoughts. What do you think the characters houses would be- let me know :)

Mm yes delicious literary parallels- the stories and characters of Zuko and Sirius Black mirror each other in a lot of ways. That shared angst? Family trauma? Yessir. (And bonus points for being considered heartthrobs haha) If we’re translating Zuko’s story to the HP universe, him having a similar situation to Sirius would make total sense from a literary standpoint. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Sirius Black is from a long prestigious line of pure bloods. (All wizard ancestry). His family is well off and highly respected, in *certain* circles. Most notably though, they’re all Slytherins. It’s a huge part of their identity- they pride themselves heavily on carrying on the tradition of both being a Slytherin and more or less being part of the bad guys. No one really can choose otherwise. Sirius however, gets sorted into Gryffindor, and allies with people that stand for the complete opposite of what his family believes in. He ends up fighting against his own family in order to help defeat Voldemort. Sirius is literally burned off of the family tree tapestry- he’s an outcast, a disgrace to his own family. Sound familiar? Zuko being sorted into Gryffindor while his whole family had always been Slytherins (Azula would 100% be top off her class in Slytherin), having to grow from their bigotry, struggling with his identity and being shunned from his family, and eventually joining the good guys? Yeah, that adds up. Take out the Hogwarts houses and that’s basically his story already. 

Honor!!! Okay, this ones pretty short. Basically, Zuko’s actions mostly come from a place of wanting to do the right thing and honor. (Granted, what he did in Seasons 1-2 wasn’t the right thing, but he thought it was at the time). Just the idea of being obsessed with honor (again, the Fire Nations idea of honor is warped but let’s think of it as it’s neutral meaning here- think of chivalry, good reputation, respect, etc) of is more of a Gryffindor thing to me, and again, trying to do the right thing is very much a Gryffindor trait.

Determination aka one of the main Gryffindor traits. Bravery, determination, passion, all define a Gryffindor. Passion is pretty self explanatory, Zuko’s a passionate person, period. Bravery we’ll get to in the next bullet. You cannot tell me my man Zuko is not determined. Some argue that much of his actions were out of ambition, which I’ll get to later, but the way he goes about all of his tasks (capturing the avatar, joining the Gaang, getting Katara to forgive him) is very much Gryffindor. He simply does not give up. He keeps going forward, no matter what- no matter the difficulties, Zuko will keep going. He’s determined, always.

Brave, brash, and a not so small sprinkle of self-sacrifice In their constant efforts to do the right thing, Gryffindors often act recklessly, simply crashing forward in earnestness to do the right thing, to save the day, etc. This is very much Zuko. I love him, but let’s be honest, he can be a bit dumb at times. He’s very brash and can get caught up in the moment. He tends to just run ahead, often acting without thinking, except maybe about his end goal. Not to mention, he’s incredibly brave. I could use countless examples, but the first ones that come to the mind are the Agni Kai with Azula, and leaving to join the Gaang during the eclipse. Zuko literally throws himself in front of lightning for someone. Without a second thought, he sacrifices his own life for someone else. Now if that isn’t reckless Gryffindor bravery in its purest form, I don’t know what is. Zuko leaves behind his throne, his family, girlfriend, honor, home, everything, with the very real possibility of never returning, to join the Gaang. He leaves it all behind, to do the right thing. That is most definitely not a Slytherin move. Maybe he could act as a double agent, giving information to the Gaang while retaining his throne, if he was Slytherin, but that blind all or nothing sacrifice for the greater good is simply out of character for a Slytherin. Not to say they’re evil by any means, but they’re cunning. Your average Slytherin just wants to ensure their well being, and is clever about doing so.

Ambition & Cunning (or not really) One of the most popular arguments for Zuko being a Slytherin is that his quest to capture Aang, was done out of ambition. I would argue that yes, he was ambitious in pursuit of the Avatar, but ultimately his actions were not fueled out of self interest, but for acceptance from his father. He wants to be welcomed back home, he wants love and acceptance. Secondly, Zuko really isn’t that cunning. See all of the above points for more evidence, but he’s simply not. He thunders ahead without a second thought. He doesn’t achieve his goals through meticulous planning, or manipulation and deceitful actions, he just goes for it. Let’s look at Azula, who I think we can all agree is a Slytherin through and through. Many of her most valued traits by Ozai, what makes her so formidable, and what Zuko tries again and again to be more like, are in turn her most Slytherin-esque traits. Azula is the definition of cunning and calculated. She plans every step. She analyzes her enemies weaknesses, their strengths. She’s incredibly powerful, but she doesn’t go full force all the time, she’s meticulous in when and how to use that power. Try as he might, Zuko can never be like her. It just isn’t in his nature. He’s not calculating or manipulative, he’s painfully brash, passionate, and straight forward. Take season 2 episode 8, “The Chase.” While Aang is fighting with Azula and Zuko, he gets to the second story of a building via airbending that doesn’t have a floor. In pursuit of him, Azula almost falls through, but quickly realizes and deftly jumps off to the side. Shortly after, Zuko runs through with a determined yell, but doesn’t notice and crashes straight down. This, is the perfect example of them as characters and their dynamic. Azula, always on guard and calculating, Zuko, full steam ahead, all passion and bravery, no hesitation.

Not everyone’s a hero! A common misconception is that Slytherins are the bad guys while Gryffindors are the good guys. I’ve seen this argument as evidence for Zuko being a Slytherin- he wasn’t a hero for most of the story, so he can’t possibly be a Gryffindor. First of all, Zuko has never truly been evil. He’s constantly had the conflicting ideas of good and evil, i.e- Roku and Sozin, within in him; it just takes a long and difficult journey to become a hero. And again, his actions were fueled not by selfish intent, but by a need for acceptance, and that’s all he knew. By merely going through that incredibly painful journey of growth, he ultimately proves his bravery even more, and his determination. He went through all that hardship, but kept going, kept fighting, and came out a good person in the end. I want to stress this point though- not all Gryffindors are these dashing heroes, especially not straight away. Look at Colin Creevey or Neville Longbottom- both Gryffindors, and both untraditional heroes. Sure, they were never ‘evil’, but they did start off unassuming, anxious, and awkward. Many, including themselves, doubted their status as Gryffindors, but by the end of the series through their growth and hard work, ended up proving themselves as the heroes they always had been, even if they didn’t know it. Heroism comes in many different forms and from many different places.

I could probably go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. Let me know what you think! I’m very much team Zuko=Gryffindor obviously, but I’m not sure about the other characters. I’d love to hear everyone’s ideas or takes on my argument :)

[dudeandduchess]

I finally reached the secret village part of the manga! *coughs* Lost my cool when saw watermelon waifu in hotspring *cough* so I was wondering of a scenario where the pillars accidentally walk into their girl s/o (before they started dating that is) while entering the hotspring but instead of the s/o panicking and all they smile and gesture them to join her instead :3 I honestly would love to know their reactions, ESPECIALLY Gyu's XD I can already imagine a 'exe gyu' stopped working moment XD

Ooooh. I loved that arc as well! Especially towards the end, like W O W. But my favorite has to be like the first half of the Infinite Train Arc. Ha ha ha *sad Rengoku noises*. Lol, I can really see Giyuu shutting down like that. Omg. I hope you like this one! Please, feel free to send in more requests. :D

Pillars’ Reactions to a nude and inviting non-girlfriend s/o (Slight NSFW bc of language):

Tomioka Giyuu:

He just wanted to get his sword fixed, gdi.

But his swordsmith kept pushing him to take a dip in the hot springs, bc that gaze of his was unnerving

So he did.

The last thing he expected was to see (Y/n) there; ALREADY NUDE

He may have had a teeny tiny HUMONGOUS crush on her.

So seeing her there, with her luscious curves on display fried most, if not all, of his brain cells.

tomiokagiyuu.exe has stopped working.

Giyuu cannot breathe.

A new water breathing form has been discovered: 12th form: blue screen of death.

“Ah, Tomioka-san, please join me.”

With a blush on his face, he would shake his head rapidly and just walk away.

Leaving a confused and very disappointed (Y/n).

She may or may not have wanted to polish his sword for him.

Rengoku Kyōjurō:

He was EXCITED to finally try out the hot springs that Kanroji had kept raving about.

Of course, he was shameless in his nudity as he walked up to the very top spring.

But when he got there, his eyes immediately zeroed in on the only woman who could singlehandedly render him stupid.

She was fully nude as well, and was not shy about it as she turned around and showed him her bare chest.

Flames in Rengoku’s heart? More like Flames coloring his face.

He remembered that he was bare for all the world to see, so he jumped in the water.

“Oh my, Rengoku-san, what a pleasurable surprise.”

Pleasurable surprise = Rengoku’s dick.

He tried to pass his embarrassment off with a hearty laugh, as he hesitantly sidled up to (Y/n)

”So how have you been, (Y/n)?”

This boi would try to act like everything’s fine, when it’s not.

But he would manage to survive his encounter; with new fodder for his fantasies

Shinazugawa Sanemi:

THIS BOI = 100% MAD.

He would want to walk away, but would stay rooted to his spot out of sheer stubbornness.

His face would be red with a blush, and he would try to avert his eyes to give (Y/n) some modesty. Even though she looked unashamed with her nakedness.

“Why are you even naked?!” Sanemi would bellow.

“Because taking a bath with clothes on would be dumb, would it not?”

She had a point there, but did she really have to choose that day— of all days— to be in the same hot springs?

100/10 would end up walking away and taking a dip in another hot spring; one that was very far away from (Y/n).

Bc, whether he liked it or not, he couldn’t get his heart to stop wreaking havoc inside his chest.

Uzui Tengen:

The moment he saw her, his expression would light up. Bc (Y/n) is a beautiful woman, and he’d always had his eyes on her.

She was so flamboyantly graceful, and he couldn’t help but be drawn to her.

“What a coincidence, (Y/n). Are you getting your sword fixed as well?” The Sound Hashira would say casually, as he sauntered into the water in all his naked glory.

He would be so unfazed by everything, that (Y/n) would be the flustered one.

And then he would reach out and touch her cheek in the gentlest of caresses.

Lowkey, he’s considering making her his fourth wife.

Iguro Obanai:

The moment he knew she was in the village, he would do everything in his power to be in the same place as her.

It just so happened that the gods were smiling upon him, and they gave him the chance to ambush meet her at the hot springs.

Ofc, the moment she asked him to get in with you, he would act like it was the most appalling thing ever.

But really, he’s so happy inside that he could throw Kaburamaru in the air in celebration.

He wouldn’t really do that, bc he loves his companion too much.

He would slowly wade in with a towel around his waist, and sidle closer to her.

Would 10/10 try to put an arm around her shoulders, under the guise of stretching his arms along the edge of the rock pool.

Himejima Gyōmei:

He’s blind so he can’t see just how beautiful she was in the nude.

But he would still be appreciative of the chance that the gods have bestowed upon him.

He would try to work up to a confession, but he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

Because he is nervous as heck.

He can smell her lightly perfumed scent over the wafting steam of the hot springs, so he just keeps that in his memories for now.

Just until he could actually confess to her.

Tokito Muichiro (he is 19 for this, bc we’re all about spreading the love to legally-aged specimens here):

As soon as the words click in his mind, a blush would form on his cheeks.

He would pointedly look away from her, and even go as far as to enter the water while walking backwards.

He’s that careful to let her keep her modesty.

What he didn’t know was that she would gladly let him see her entirety— emphasis on gladly.

But he would be a gentleman about it, all the same.

Is lowkey afraid that when he manages to get a good look at her, he might never look away. He could spend his days getting lost in those curves of hers.

He’d also try to make small talk, which would end up tapering off into silence, because he didn’t know what else to say to her.

But (Y/n) was fine with that; after all, she loved Mui-chan the way he was.

Kochō Shinobu:

Would be UNFAZED.

Literally, she is the definition of unfazed.

She would still keep that smile on her face as she walked into the warm water.

She would only shed her towel once she was deep enough to cover her chest.

Really, Shinobu wasn’t very self-conscious about her appearance, she just didn’t want to make (Y/n) feel awkward.

Bc she wasn’t sure if her feelings reached her fellow Slayer clearly.

Or if (Y/n) only thought of her as a friend.

Kanroji Mitsuri:

Would also be shameless enough to shed her towel the moment she accepted (Y/n)’s invitation.

Mitsuri would practically skip in the water as she wanted to get closer to her s/o.

Of course, she had already confirmed if they were on the same wavelength, so she would boldly initiate things.

Would 10/10 try to make (Y/n) laugh, and will even compliment her body.

Mitsuri would start with her hair…

“Your hair looks so shiny, (Y/n)…”

Eventually, (Y/n) would get tired of all the compliments and just swoop in to kiss the pink-haired woman.

[organizationhimself]

Dark Bramble Guide [Taco Bell update]

My friend keeps getting deep space murdered so I figured I would help.  Please note: I am extremely witty and hilarious and I know it.​

So here’s what I’ve learned.

Dark Bramble has five SIX AUGH different openings.  Four along the sides, one on “top,” and one on the “bottom.”  I consider Dark Bramble to be “upright” when it is oriented like so:

Most of the time you’re going to be dumped in front of the four middle openings, which can be the hardest to recognize if you don’t know where to look.

I’ve also determined two routes.  In some cases you can get straight to the Vessel, and in others it’s better to go to the Escape Pod 3 first, and then change your marker to the Vessel (which at least gives you something to do while you’re floating past the three fish).  There is ALWAYS a fish guarding a Vessel seed, but the one in the Escape Pod room is much easier to avoid aggroing as a rule.

Bear in mind that when identifying these routes, I have just shot for my targets (Escape Pod, Vessel) completely full throttle the entire time, not giving a fuck in the world, and eliminated routes that get me eaten this way.  So the key to fish avoidance is to go in one direction as much as possible and avoid firing your rockets in any other directions; often I have been able to full throttle right past a fish that didn’t get upset till I fired a rocket to one side or the other.

I’ve decided to help identify these with some features I call the Dewclaw and the Forsaken Breadstick:

Right in between the Dewclaw and the Breadstick, we have Chili’s:

Chili’s has an Escape Pod in an ok place close by the entrance, and if you’re practicing going straight from Timber Hearth to Dark Bramble, you will always see Chili’s first.  But there’s some vines and stuff in the way of the Escape Pod that make this route sub-par.  There’s better places, so we’re gonna skip Chili’s.  Let’s talk about Tim Hortons.

Tim Hortons is always to the right of Chili’s and the Breadstick and has the best Escape Pod route on the planet, apart from his brother Tom Hortons (who we will get to later).  There’s no fish getting to the Escape Pod’s seed, it’s VERY close, and I have always avoided fish on my way to the Vessel seed from very soon after entering the room unless I was looking for a fish for Science (though there’s some annoying twisting geometry in the way if you don’t go in the direction of the Escape Pod for a bit).  His Vessel route is very dangerous (2 fish yikes) and I got insanely lucky, so that’s a hard no.

This Escape Pod is the route I used to beat the game, so I’m sure it works once you have the warp core (I don’t know if more fish can spawn after you get the warp core but just in case).

Left of Chili’s, we have Olive Garden:

So at first I didn’t really recommend Olive Garden, because I thought the Escape Pod route was ideal and its Escape Pod will absolutely kill you.  But its Vessel route is actually pretty straightforward and could actually be a winner (I had a hard time attracting the attention of its fish).  It seems like Olive Garden tends to be the facing you get when you go straight from the Twins to Dark Bramble with the warp core so it’s probably the one most people naturally go into first.

To the right of Olive Garden (and left of Tim), basically in the “back” of Dark Bramble if you’re facing Chili’s like when you first arrive, there’s Tim’s brother Tom.  This far around it’s hard to see our main two landmarks so here’s a newer, shittier one (sorry):

I called him Tom Hortons because at first I thought he was basically a copy of Tim’s, but Tom is actually better because Tom is an all around yes man.  You want to go Escape Pod?  Do it bud.  Vessel seed?  Yeah man.  Tom’s a bro.  However he is, as I discovered intensely painfully, very easy to mistake for Dark Bramble’s sixth location (the one most visible from directly on “top”), which I have decided to call Taco Bell because it is a pain in my ass:

Taco Bell is kind of caged in by everybody’s sick ‘do’s and is most easily accessible from going around back of Chili’s, to either Olive Garden or Tom Hortons.  It has a perfectly acceptable Escape Pod, and its Vessel seed is basically completely hit or miss.  There’s a vine in front of it in some orientations, so if you go the wrong way around it there’s a Very Mad fish. So like, unless you’re aiming for an Escape Pod route, just don’t go to Taco Bell, y’know?  It’s not worth it.

Finally, on the bottom, there’s Subway:

Subway is extremely easy to find because it’s on the very bottom and caged inside a bunch of vines that can be a little tricky to navigate.  Also, its Escape Pod route will kill you.  Its Vessel route may, potentially, also kill you--I found the fish easier to aggro--but it is very close and convenient like Olive Garden and Tom Hortons.  Basically you might as well go to one of those, they’re just as close and easier on entry, but if you’re really struggling to identify them then Subway is impossible to miss.  You have to want to go there.

Again, orientation is EVERYTHING in Dark Bramble, so if I say things are in the upper left/right/whatever then that’s gonna be meaningless if you approach from a different angle, but here are some outside and inside photos from the center openings as approached from an “upright” angle.  This is proceeding around Dark Bramble’s center, starting from Chili’s and moving right:

Taco Bell on top and Subway on bottom are impossible for me to give a consistent orientation for, so Subway may vary significantly from what you see depending on your angle:

Taco Bell is a pain in the ass so it gets two of these based on which other (better) opening you face before you fly “up” over it:

So basically, the safe Escape Pod seeds tend to be very close to the ceiling or wall and out of the way, and if the Vessel seed looks far away I’d try another entrance.  From cross-referencing I have determined that a safe initial distance is usually between 1 and 1.3km, and a distance between 1.5 and 1.7km almost certainly has a fish, but again some orientations may still end up attracting attention where others would not.

Best Escape Pod Routes:

Tom Hortons

Tim Hortons

Taco Bell

Chili's (obstructed)

Best Vessel Routes:

Tom Hortons

Olive Garden

Subway

Taco Bell (obstructed)

I am pretty sure that both the Escape Pod room and the Vessel room are the same entrance flipped around different ways no matter where you enter the seed, and it’s really impossible to make the orientation consistent, but as a result both the Pod and the Vessel should be in the same place and you can navigate from there.

If you choose to take an Escape Pod route, I’d recommend aiming for the Escape Pod itself until you see a really prominent red glow from the Vessel seed.  This can help you avoid all the crap floating around in the way, and it’s also completely safe once you get into the vines (I have never been eaten there from any orientation).  Alternatively, following the lights to the dead Nomai also gives you a straight shot to the Vessel seed with what feels to me like the smallest possible chance of running into a fish (I think this is a gameplay mechanic), but it takes longer.

Once you actually make it into the Vessel seed DO NOT MOVE.  You will not hit the fish.  You cannot hit the fish.  You will literally go through the fish, and then it’s ok to start accelerating up to 2 bars as long as you are under 900km away from the Vessel marker (but probably safer at under 800km). After further testing, I’m pretty sure there’s only one fish inconveniently close to the final seed, which you pass on the way.  I tend to be drifting at this point to make sure I don’t slam into the branch between me and the seed, so I don’t recommend going above 1 bar around here if you can help it, the fish is more aggressive than I first thought and it’s kind of 50/50 whether he’ll actually chase you.

Fortunately, there’s a pretty foolproof direction to go in:

This last branch before the seed has a little curved area that is the perfect size for your ship, and if you go through it while still aiming for the Vessel, you will be almost perfectly lined up for an opening.  (In this particular orientation I managed not to alert the fish at all, but it’s not a good idea to stop to adjust here, I’d just aim for this opening regardless.)

I think this section is kinda designed for the fish to notice you, and even if he does, you’re generally going to be close enough to the seed to make it inside before he can reach you.  But sometimes he screams at me just as I’m about to go inside it even if he made no reaction before, so be prepared for that possibility.

Last tips: -If you do attract a fish, try to put it between you and a seed.  It will get slowed down or stuck in the geometry, giving you some time to go into the seed. -If a fish groans and comes your way, stop thrusting IMMEDIATELY.  If you go dark before it screams, it will go where it last heard the noise and you can coast right past.  (It helps to be going at a pretty fast pace.) -For endgame setup, I found 2:00 - 3:00 to be an optimal timing to doze off at the fire before going to Ash Twin to catch the first cycle (but that can vary across consoles/computers).

(Edit: Looks like my theme is not nice to these images so larger versions are available here if you need clearer ones, or the full guide is also up on Steam now because I am a menace.)

On a final note, Outer Wilds doesn’t care about your suffering, which is why the very first time I finally pulled out the warp core, Ember Twin got ahold of my ship and did this shit to it:

thanks for coming to my ted talk good luck with ur endless fish.

@autopotion

[jcmorrigan]

What movie or tv show scared you the most?

OH HEEHEEHEEEEEE MY TIME HAS COME

I think this was probably the sign I was meant to be a horror fan, because I'm gonna talk about two movies here and neither one is a standard horror film. Now, I avoided horror films like the plague, but I now realize that's because of my aversion to jumpscares and gore, which have very little to do with actual scary stuff. I feared actual horror imagery as a small child, but basically once I read Coraline it all just turned around because that book gave me nightmares but I actually WANTED those nightmares and kept going back to the book. So what are the movies I just COULD NOT contend with?

First up, I have found that a lot of people have said this one, but really and truly, fuck Chicken Run.

I was...maybe ten when I watched it. Signed up for a goofy claymation adventure. What did I get? First of all, a whole lot of bleak color palette that warned me that this was not going to be a happy story. We are then shown the stakes right away: our entire main cast lives in a dystopian prison and if they do not find a way to escape, they will die. One DOES die. This is where a lot of people say they noped out right away, but actually, the execution of the dinner chicken in the first scene was tame for me compared to what would come next.

The pie machine. It's assembled, it's talked about, and eventually our two leads fall into it in a way that is designed to be fatal. Look, there are a ton of horror tropes in this scene alone. I haven't seen it SINCE THE ONE AIRING and I can still vividly tell you a lot of this. And if I walked into a horror film and asked for this, I'd come out super satisfied, but I was not expecting horror from this. First of all, I remember vividly the shot where you're looking from Ginger's POV falling down the shaft and the divider comes up to shunt her into the "meat" line. It's incredibly claustrophobic and you just get this almost jumpscare reminder that the character through whose eyes you see is regarded as nothing more than meat to be consumed. There is then an array of blades designed for close calls, and dough that essentially glues the lead characters down to a conveyor belt so they have to helplessly watch the death machines that are coming. Sticky stuff that roots you to one spot; that's another thing that just REALLY unnerves me and I love it if I'm reading CreepyPasta but I was not reading CreepyPasta; I was watching a children's film. The leads escape certain death by jamming the gravy system, causing the machine to overload on pressure, and here I feel like I should've been relieved that they escaped but instead I was the most unsettled of all when the pressure meter started climbing. I don't know if this film *gave* me a phobia of industrial accidents or if it just awakened what was already in my OCD little brain, but suffice to say that after this movie, I was hyper-aware of my own fear of things like hissing steam, rising pressure meters, and being in a room where large metal things were clanking. (I'm since over it; I've been exposed to it in enough things.)

Now, I was no quitter. I should have just noped out. But I didn't. I continued to traumatize myself. The next part of the film until the climax I don't remember so well - it wasn't as traumatizing - EXCEPT for the part where Ginger finds and rebuilds Rocky's circus poster. And now, as an adult, I can see how that was kinda supposed to be funny, like, "The goddamn chicken padded his résumé and the way they found this out was a circus poster." But little me was invested in these chickens, I wanted them to be happy, and what I saw was basically their death notice being signed with that scrap of paper with a cannon on it. I FELT that in my bones.

STILL NOT HAVING THE GOOD SENSE TO JUST EJECT THE TAPE ALREADY, I proceeded to the climax, in which what happens to Tweedy might be one of the most fucking awful things I've seen ever? Pinned upside-down in a superheated, confined space with rising liquid from below as the pressure meter starts climbing again. And her husband arrives just in time to see her like this but not in time to actually stop the explosion. Thank God it didn't actually kill her because even though I was already traumatized, that would've absolutely made it worse.

Thing is, ever since this movie scared the absolute shit out of me - and was probably the cause of the weird stomachaches I had for A WEEK after - I've kinda had this thing about reclaiming the scary parts and stomping on them while laughing maniacally. I feel like every time I've done a crossover project, there's been a temptation to write in an arc where the mains go up against THE PIE MACHINE and fucking win. And also there's whump with tons of comfort in my version to mitigate it all. I haven't done any such thing for TBTC...YET. But I know what I must do. I know who must destroy the machine and the Tweedys along with it. Buckle your seatbelts.

My final word before I move on is that as I ascend into adulthood, I think that for the most part, a rewatch of this film wouldn't traumatize me so badly. It'd still be gross and creepy in a way I think shouldn't be sent to children without warning, but I could deal with the imagery, maybe enjoy using it as whump fuel even more, maybe my horror side would really get into the peril this time. But the one thing I've realized is that this premise is fucked EVEN MORE if you're a grown-up, because as a child, you're sympathizing with the chickens. You want them to get free of this death camp environment. But as an adult, you start to realize that all Tweedy wanted to do was be a chicken farmer who sold pie, and her supposedly nonsentient animals ganged up on her in a display of unheard-of intellect among farm stock. This would then lead to her undergoing at least one near-death fate. Think about being a farmer in our world and the animals you keep GANG UP ON YOU LIKE PEOPLE because you're killing them for food. No thank you, no THANK you.

But surely this was a one-of-a-kind phenomenon. Surely, after this...after so many other people agreed with me; "Fuck Chicken Run"...no animation studio would ever pull shit like this again.

I had hoped that was the case until Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

This is one I don't actually see lambasted as often. Maybe because the Chicken Run trauma crew grew thicker skins before this movie. I only sort of did. Maybe because no one ever actually invested in this film, having already predicted how much it would be garbage from the dumb humor in the trailers. Oh, but not me. I was a fool. Also my family picked it for a movie night so my fate was sealed anyway.

The original book is actually pretty frightening on its own. Food falls from the sky in such great numbers that it starts to destroy the world. Okay, that's terrifying. But kind of in the alluring way. I would keep coming back to the one page about the giant pancake on the school because the way it was drawn unsettled me so, with something huge and immovable blocking off the way to a building that usually has hundreds of innocent children inside. The film built on this and made it a thousand times worse.

Let's start with the goddamn Spray-On Shoe. Our main character is a mad scientist (but the good kind, apparently) whose list of bumbling failed experiments dates back to when he was a child and invented a spray you could put on your feet to coat them in shoes. He then gets laughed at because he didn't engineer a way to get the shoes off, and runs home in humiliation. Guys, the teasing/bullying factor is...not the most worrying thing about this story. There's a throwaway line about how Flint wears THE SAME SHOES into adulthood because to that day they simply cannot be removed. This seems like an incredibly urgent medical problem? Having your feet encased in the same rubber for years? The same rubber as when you're a kid? I just found myself thinking "What if my shoes never came off one day" and that terrifies me, okay? It's stupid and it's silly and it scares me. Even more than that, though, is the canonization of a polymer in this universe that can be sprayed on sticky and will literally never break no matter what you do to it, because that goes back to the pie machine dough principle. Being glued to a surface permanently is inherently terrifying and we'll go over this later because this is not the last fuckin time the glue shoes get brought up.

Flint invents a food-spewing machine. It ends up in the sky. He rides his popularity as it rains larger and larger food down upon the town and also the world. Most of this film up until the climax is unsettling but not AWFUL. Where it starts to go to shit is when Flint realizes his machine is too dangerous and shuts it off, only for the town's local greedy politician to switch it back on into an apocalyptic mode. So can we start with "Local town finds out its elected official is willing to sabotage their well-being in order to capitalize on the fame of a disaster-causing object?". Like, the whole film would've been solved so much sooner if there hadn't been a saboteur in the works - not a fun campy villain, mind you, but a saboteur who exists to drive the plot to the scary place. But I guess we need that narrative tension to justify having a film in the first place, so fine, I'll ride it out.

The main crew saddles up to fly out to the machine, which is now encased in a FLESH LABYRINTH of food, and...I'm just gonna rapid-fire the shit that happens at this part:

-The food turns sentient in order to defend itself. The cute animal sidekick brutally dismembers an army of gummy bears that is fully sentient and rips them apart to devour them.

-We enter the flesh labyrinth and it's exactly as much a horror RPG setting as you think it is.

-Now sentient cooked chickens besiege the party. The comic relief character is consumed by one, only to kill it from the inside and decide to WEAR ITS SKIN in what is seen as his defining character arc's conclusion. Wearing the skin of a dead monster allows him to forge his new identity.

-One of our party has to go back because of a tight passage lined with her deadly allergen, causing her to undergo anaphylaxis after an accidental mild nick. In the flesh labyrinth.

-The entire horrific journey is instantly INVALIDATED when it turns out that instead of the kill code for the machine, all Flint has is a file of a cat video. Which he finds out as the town is about to be obliterated off the face of the earth.

-So he solves it by jamming the works with the spray-on shoe and DID I NOT JUST GO OVER HOW HORRIFIC INDUSTRIAL EXPLOSIONS ARE IN KIDS' MOVIES? DID I NOT? ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? Anyway it's canonical proof that NOTHING can break the shoe glue and I should be happy for the town and happy that there's no more flesh labyrinth of living meat but instead I'm just terrified because of the door we have opened. We have imparted the existence of an indestructible sticky polymer upon the world.

-It's later seen used in a credits sequence to repair damaged houses. Which, first of all, given its flexible nature, is fuckin stupid. It won't serve as an actual wall. Second, that got me thinking about construction accidents involving the fuckin shoe glue. If that stuff gets dripped on a person's face -

-So then cue me sitting awake in bed later thinking wide-eyed about Cloudy with a Chance of Fucking Meatballs and realizing that this compound that is essentially a chemical weapon in the making is now in the hands of the mayor who deliberately caused an apocalyptic event over the town because he wanted the food rain. And THAT'S not going to lead to pretty circumstances.

I think you'll see that a lot of my fears with these two movies is "THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS!" and I think that just shows how my mind works and why I'm drawn to fanfic so much. I'm all about diving into a universe, exploring its corners, analyzing it to death.

And with the industrial horror stuff, I kinda wanna bring it around to two other films that actually really subverted my expectations and made it fun. 102 Dalmatians was a fave of mine through middle school, but I remember when the climax took us to a big ol' factory and I got plumb nervous. After the usual blades and ovens of horror, the fact that it concludes with Cruella basically wearing a cake and a lengthy montage of the dogs kicking toppings onto her is just one of the most wholesome imageries. She survived the thing and now you get to watch her be decorated Lisa Frank style by her victims who are more interested in humiliation than murder, and I love that.

But maybe more prevalent is that I'm well aware that if certain filmography or plot points had been handled in different ways, The Boxtrolls might've actually frightened the ever-loving fuck out of me what with all the industrial stuff and medical horror, but I just...felt like that film was holding my hand the whole way through going "It's okay." The industrial stuff was framed in a way that was just campy enough and yet also taken seriously. Putting a really charismatic villain - ACTUAL VILLAIN, NOT CHICKEN FARMER OR CORRUPT POLITICIAN SABOTEUR - at the wheel was just such a mitigating factor that it gelled the whole thing together and I ended up LOVING what was done with giant machines and garbage crushers and explosions. And as for the medical body horror, I really appreciate how it was so baked in that Snatcher did that to himself - that everyone, EVERYONE warned him "Do not do this, you will probably die, I'm serious, bad fucking idea" up to the point of Eggs trying to plead him during an anaphylaxis attack, one last time, DO NOT continue down this path, we can find a way to heal you psychologically and get you some self-fulfillment. And Snatcher fully chooses hubris over the many, many opportunities offered him to be able to step down onto a safer path and that removes the fear and pulls it more into a tragedy for the villain. Not at all the same thing as "Sam the reporter is trying to save the world and doing her best until a fixture of the landscape accidentally sends her into anaphylaxis."

(Oh, and by the way, can I just - when I do see CWACOM brought up these days, it's always in the context of "This is the one movie where the guy tells the girl it's okay to look nerdy!". Well, no, not the way I remember it. The way I remember it, Sam basically tells Flint "I used to have really tacky style but have since changed it up of my own volition" and Flint is just like "NOOOOO YOU NEED TO WEAR GLASSES AND A SCRUNCHIE. I WANT A HOT NERD GIRL." This could've been pulled off right with some more introspection into female beauty standards, even in a tongue-in-cheek way, but right now it really looks like Sam just wanted to make herself more glam for a new image and Flint bullied her into regressing her style. Which I've also realized meant he bullied her into dressing more like she did as a teenager and normally I think that kind of shit is just "You're overthinking it" but since it's CWACOM and I spelled it out on paper like that, I'm just now realizing how that can be seen as pretty...icky.)

The one saving grace of CWACOM is that I was older by that time, and so it didn't affect me as hard as Chicken Run. But I still hold it dearly to my heart as one of the MOST DISTURBING movies I know, and by "dearly" I mean "fuck this movie, really and truly." I want to extend my thanks to 102D and Boxtrolls for giving me industrial-horror-based climaxes that were actually really comfortable, and again, probably what drove both of these was the fact that we had a campy diva villain in the lead for the potential scary stuff to surround and radiate off. Not a fuckin...ordinary chicken farmer who is just trying to make bank but is somehow passed as a Nazi allegory for trying to live her life as a farmer? I dunno, maybe if I rewatched that film I'd see she has a thirst for human blood too, and if I could fix fic Chicken Run my first order of business would be to give her a thirst for human blood instead of/in addition to chickens.

Anyway. Fuck both these films, EXCEPT for the fact that traumatizing scenarios can always be recast as whump material, and the next time I wanna do some crossover aftercare from a physically and psychologically damaging mission, I have a pie machine and a flesh labyrinth to exploit. REALLY HEAVY ON THAT AFTERCARE COMFORT THOUGH!

[trudy-shams]

What we become - part 6

6 months later ------------ You checked out your reflection in the mirror for the 12th time, every 10 minutes in the span of 2 hours. Steve was late today. No!  You were NOT nervous, you just wanted to look presentable. You were a reflection of the place you worked for and you loved Asgard so it was not totally absurd you wanted to make sure you were looking good.

"The blonde boy isn't here yet, please stop wasting time in front of the mirror and take those drinks to table #6" Clint grumbled.

Him sitting in your section 5 times a week and leaving cute notes (and some hefty tips) did not go unnoticed by anyone. And no one was subtle about it. From Loki to Thor to Clint to Gamora, everyone teased you endlessly.

"Seriously, I don't know what is holding you, or him, back. Just go out on a date already" Gamora said while tipping her head towards the door.

And in walked Steve, in all his smedium t-shirt and khaki pants glory.

His eyes immediately found yours and his face split into a big grin as he made his way to a table.

Sometimes you wonder how you didn't see until now how handsome he was, but you know for a fact that your perception of beauty changes as you get to know them better. Sometimes their personality makes them more appealing while other times it's the exact opposite.

You couldn't stop the smile that spread on your lips.

You neared Steve's table "You are late today"

Steve dopey smiled back "I got stuck at an event my father organized but I slipped away as soon as I could and then there was the usual traffic"

"I have told you so many times, we have another branch of Asgard near where you live, you don't have to make the hour long drive just for some beers" You smirked.

The first time you got to know how far he lives, you were slightly confused as to why he would drive all the way. He just shrugged and smiled, saying he liked the ambience of this place better. You didn't really believe him but didn't push him either.

Now? Now you kinda knew why he drove so far. It would be stupid to pretend otherwise but you couldn't pass an opportunity to tease him.

"And I have told you, I really like the ambience " Steve was not the shy fella who couldn't meet your eyes anymore. It took a while but he slowly lost his inhibitions around you.

And you? Well, your perspective of him changed the very day he saved your life. You were so grateful to him.

But as you got to know him better, you felt a lot more for him than just thankfulness.

"So your usual then?" You took out your notepad.

"No, not today. I am already late, maybe I will take a to-go bag for some snacks. Enough for two people" Steve had this look on his face.

You were disappointed and you hoped it wasn't obvious on your face.

"Oh sure, I will bring it up right now" You internally cringed at the high pitch of your voice.

"Oh no, no rush, take your time. I know your shift doesn't end for another 30 minutes" Steve was full on smiling now.

It took a moment for you to realize what he meant and you bit your lip to keep from smiling.

"Well that's very presumptuous of you Mr. Rogers. I might have better things to do then go out on a d.., accompany you to whatever secret cult meeting you drive an hour for" Steve laughed out loud before pressing his hands to his chest.

"The Perseids Meteor shower is supposed to peak today and the sky is clear enough for a good view. It might be something fun to watch "Steve lost steam by the time he finished his sentence seeing your stern expression " it's Friday night so I thought you wouldn't have classes tomorrow and work. The best time to view is after midnight and If you are not comfortable, I understand"

You did your best to keep your laughter in at Steve's rambling but maintained your serious demeanor "We will have a few hours to kill then, do you want to watch a movie"

"I totally... what?" Steve was giving you his signature puppy dog eyes.

You finally dropped the act and grinned "I have been begging Nakia for days but she claims that no astronomical event can keep her from her beauty sleep. I am so glad you asked. It would be so much fun. We can take some drinks too. We can stop by my place and grab a picnic mat. Do we need chairs? Blan..."

"Ok doll breath" the nickname just slipped out but Steve decided to act calm"I have everything ready. We can just pack some food and we are good to go"

You did a tiny jump. "I can't wait" --------------- 12 Months later

"See, both Mr. Darcy and Lizzi are seeing things through their own corrupt lenses" you supplied hazily

The warm weather and shining sun had almost put you to sleep.

Then there was Steve's warmth that radiated from where you were leaning against him. His cologne, his soothing voice as he hummed a tune now and then and the comfort of knowing he  was there with you.

Steve and you were sitting in your favorite park. You, with your books and Steve with his sketch pad, as had become the norm for Sundays. Steve always asked you what you were reading and you always asked him what he was drawing.

Steve would show you his sketch if you would give him a summary of the book you were reading and answer his questions. You borrowed a few books from Mr. Stark's library every time you went home.

There was something about reading a physical book that you loved.

You had grabbed your all time favorite this morning while stepping out to Steve's bike.

"Usually people assume that one character had pride while the other had prejudiced views but I feel that they both had pride and their own prejudices. For instance, Lizzy knows what Mr. Darcy is saying about her family is true and on occasions, she has pointed out the same to her mother and sisters, even her father, but she is wounded when Mr. Darcy states the same. Her mind sees Mr. Darcy is a spoiled rich man with no compassion or heart" you went on, now glancing at Steve "but we should always remember, never judge a book by it's cover... or initial few pages" you stuck your tongue out at your own silliness.

Steve had this wistful smile on his face "Yeah, sometimes the first few pages cannot tell you the full story"

"That's why I read all books that I begin till the end" you all but whispered to Steve seeing how close he had come to you.

"I am so happy that you do" Steve whispered back. Just one inch, that's all you needed.

And then Steve's phone went off.

You both jerked away.

Steve took the call while you hid behind your book for the rest of the day. ---------------- 18 Months Later

"You will call me as soon as you reach" you repeated for the 5th time.

"I will, first things" Steve promised.

Steve had been enrolled in a 1 year MBA from a university in another country, as per his father's wishes. Apparently, it was a rite of passage all children in his father's circle had to go through. You were told by Nat that James, or Bucky as she called him, had been there too.

Like that was supposed to make you feel better.

Not that you could ask Steve to stay. You weren't officially dating.

You didn't know what was holding Steve or you back. Well, you knew what was holding you back. You didn't know what you would do if Steve rejected you.

You were sure he had feelings for you but you still felt that there was a wall between you two and you had solid reasons.

You had never, not once, met any of Steve's friends. Not even as a friend.

He always came to you, the area where you lived. Never the other way around.

He hadn't added you in any social media accounts he had.

There was a small part of you, which was growing everyday, that believed he was embarrassed to be seen with you. Not that Steve ever made you feel like that when you were together.

But then there was this glaring fact that he never asked you out on a proper date. It was always a plan to 'hang out'.

And that he hadn't even kissed you yet.

And now he was leaving for 12 months.

"I will miss you" Steve looked at you with such a rueful smile that you had to look away.

"Well, I will be right here. Literally, I will wait for you right here, at the airport gate, with a bunch of welcome home balloons and a six pack of your favorite. Who knows, maybe I can convince Ms.Hella to start an airport outlet and I will meet you inside, waiting with your regular order as soon as you land" you tried to lighten the mood.

"I will touch down at the airport every weekend then" Steve smiled which did not reach his eyes.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Mr. Rogers" You turned to him and smiled, having reached the security check.

Steve was hugging you the next second. Arms squeezing you tight while he murmured in your ear " I will miss you sweetheart, So much."

You took a deep breath to hold your tears in "I will miss you too".

You stood like that for a moment. You pretended not to notice the way Steve smelled your hair and planted a lingering kiss on your hair.

You both reluctantly parted.

"I will see you soon stranger" you whispered and started stepping back.

You had to let him go before you did something stupid. But ultimately, Steve beat you to it.

He grabbed your arm as you were about to turn away, jerked you forward, and planted his lips on yours.

There was nothing soft about the kiss. It was bruising. It was months of pent up frustration, attraction and tension all coming to the fore.

One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other was like a steel band around your waist. You didn't know when your hands ended up crushing the t -shirt material around his chest. It was all tongue and teeth and desperation.

When you both came up for air, Steve looked absolutely wrecked.

He held you close and pressed 6 more quick kisses on your lips.

I *kiss* will *kiss* miss *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* much *kiss*

With that, he loosened his grip on your waist and hair and stepped back. Hair out of place and cheeks flushed crimson.

He let out a deep exhale and turned around, speed walking through security, not looking back once.

While you stood there, rooted to the spot for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath and quell the butterflies in your stomach, wondering what the hell just happened.

[earthbased]

This article (from 2020) has a lot of relevance for me. I’m often at a loss to describe to non-pagans what I do, and to pagans why I do it if I don’t believe in the literal interpretations. These are some useful ways of describing it, although it doesn’t describe my path 100%. I’m going to leave some of my notes here, more as reminders to myself than criticism, since I don’t really expect my writing to be widely read (oh gods, I don’t need that kind of scrutiny). Also I've forgotten a lot about John Halstead’s work that I read a long time ago and my brain is pretty scrambled right now.

- I’m glad to see John Halstead giving more recognition to Indigenous and non-Western ideas and expertise, both in general as well as citing specific authors, because that was one of my previous criticisms. But I think there’s still more that should be done to centre Indigenous voices and cultures in discussions of their own ideas. - Minor note, but I don’t personally derive my animism from the Gaia hypothesis, even as a metaphor. The aliveness of things, to me, isn’t just because of the aliveness of the whole planet-system. There are different ways people justify or explain their animism so I was a bit surprised to see that in the summary as though it were universal. - The idea of wilderness has long been criticised by anti-colonial writers but this discourse is especially picking up steam in more mainstream (and whiter) conversation. It’s not so long ago that I encountered it, but once I did I had to start questioning many things about the ways I conceptualised and talked about nature and society, because it made so much sense with the anti-colonial ideas I’d been studying. So I understand and still pick out things from the parts of this article written with the wilderness/humanity dichotomy, although I’m re-writing and re-thinking those ideas for myself. - “ This is why modern life has a way of cutting us off from everything, from the natural world, from other people, and even from our own bodies. The result is individual alienation, social disconnection, and environmental devastation. And it also leaves us vulnerable to the pseudo-enchantments of capitalist consumption, addiction, and absorption in virtual technology.” This is a far more individualist take than I would personally use. I think the antidote to capitalist alienation has far more to do with justice, autonomy and supportive community than putting down the phone and going outside. This kind of wording rubs me the wrong way a little... and to list addiction next to “capitalist consumption” and “absorption in virtual technology”, it kind of makes it sound as though all three are merely personal shortcomings caused by lack of connection to nature. - “So what am I doing when I pour a libation onto the earth? I’m not making an offering to the gods, who I wouldn’t imagine would need it even if they did exist.” Probably just wording, but I’m sure someone will want to quibble over this - this is a shallow take on polytheism, because most polytheists don’t conceive of the gods as omnipotent, self-reliant or completely above earthly attachments. Libations and offerings aren’t as simple as putting fuel in a car to keep it going, so whether they “need” it is not the only consideration. Offerings can also be a way to have a shared experience between gods and worshippers. Some polytheists conceive of gods or spirits as craving sensory experience of the material world that only material beings can provide. Others see them as feeding on the spiritual essence of offerings OR the process of making them. In any case, it’s also way to experience re-enchantment of the world, which is exactly what this article is talking about. From my point of view, atheist & naturalistic paganism isn’t conceptually much different from the far end of the scale of soft polytheism anyway, so there’s no need to be snooty about it. - What I like about this article: - I, too, find libations symbolically rich and experientially beautiful -“But interconnectedness can seem like an abstract concept until we root it in our bodies and the immediate physical world around us.” This has been my experience too. - “...these libations are a way restoring my experience of connection with the world, of remembering a reciprocity which is always already present...” - “As I pour out the water, wine, honey, or olive oil on the earth, I create, in the form of the stream of liquid, a living connection between myself and the earth. It is a visual and visceral representation of that connection. In so doing, I experience both an “emptying” and also simultaneously a “filling”, as if am both the cup that pours and the earth which receives–emptying, because I am giving up substance which I might take into my body as sustenance, and filling, because my body is already connected with the earth so intimately that I cannot give to the earth without sustaining myself. I don’t just think it; the ritual helps me feel it.  As I pour the libation and watch the stream of water flowing onto the earth and being absorbed by the soil, this connection moves from the conceptual to the visceral, from my mind to my flesh and bones.” I LOVE this - Robin Wall Kimmerer’s work has had a huge impact on my life and practise so of course I love to see her quoted here, as well as the other sources, which I have variable familiarity with - I want to revisit all of them now.

[sh-rare-pair-exchange]

As Time Would Have It

Based loosely on the events of the final episodes of season 1, the story follows the return of Lydia Branwell to the Institute of New York but this time she ends up enjoying her time there and surprisingly she discovers something worth staying around for. Well, someone...

Rare Pair: Lydia Branwell/ Isabelle Lightwood for @sh-rare-pair-exchange and dedicated to @sfjessii​

Today was the day. Maryse had gathered them all late last night, only to inform them that the Clave had sent an envoy of Shadowhunters to stay in the Institute for a while, at least until the attacks instigated by Valentine subsided and Clary knew how to fight better. Isabelle had a feeling her mother knew more than she was telling them but when had that not been the case between them? She had made peace with that a long time ago, that’s why she was now walking the halls leading to the kitchen and pestering Alec for more information on the matter.

“Do we know at least who they are sending?” – Isabelle asked as she walked into the kitchen for a cup of black tea with Alec in tow.

“I only know that we’re getting a couple of additional Shadowhunters to deal with the increasing Downworlders attacks in New York.” – He said and moved to get a cup of coffee for himself.

“How long are they staying for?” – Izzy’s curiosity was one of the things that hadn’t changed since she was a little girl.

“Iz, I literally know what you know. Mom didn’t tell me anything more but until Clary is fully trained and ready, we can’t stand with our hands crossed and wait for the next attack. Valentine’s influence in growing with each day.” – Alec said and sipped from the steaming black liquid in his cup.

“And that is exactly why we’re accepting all the help we can get from the Clave.” – Maryse walked into the kitchen too, fixing her hair and making sure it was tightly gathered in a ponytail.

The opening of the heavy institute doors alerted them than the new arrivals were already here and Maryse ushered Isabelle and Alec out of the kitchen to meet the newcomers and see who their new teammate would be.

Time seemed to stop for a second when the Lighwood siblings saw the person standing in front of everyone else, black pants, tactical shoes and a light brown blazer, head standing high and with hair carefully braided there stood none other than Lydia Branwell.

It’s been a little over three months since the most disastrous wedding of the Shadow world, or at least since the infamous wedding ceremony of Alec Lightwood and Lydia. At first there were many shocked guests and Maryse had almost gotten a heart attack as she saw her son kissing Magnus Bane but now that she had seen how happy her boy is, she was glad he had the courage to stand up for his love.

“You have got to be kidding me.” – Alec murmured under his nose but tried to keep his expression neutral as Lydia approached them. Her stance was just as confident as before even if a tad stiff, her chin holding high but her eyes were filled with uncertainty. It was safe to say that she didn’t feel completely at ease standing there either.

“Maryse. Alec. Isabelle.” – Lydia acknowledged everyone with a curt nod of her head.

“Lydia, we’re happy to have you here. Things have been getting harder to manage with the increasing attacks.” – Maryse spoke first.

“You are all welcome to start patrolling with our teams, each of you has already been assigned to one so go find your teammates.” - She added and the rest of the newcomers scrambled already having heard their orders.

“Lydia you can leave your things and meet Alec and Isabelle here in twenty minutes, you are patrolling tonight.” – Maryse said to Lydia and turned around to go back to her own work, the Clave had sent them ten more people and they didn’t have any time to waste.

“Lydia, can we talk for a second?” – Alec asked, one of his hands rubbing his neck, Izzy could tell her brother was nervous but she got the hint and excused herself.

Seeing Lydia back in the Institute made Isabelle feel a little tense, she wasn’t her biggest fan but after she heard what the blonde said at her trial and the fact that she tried to stop it made her company a little less unpleasant.

Sparing her brother and Lydia one last glance before she went to the armory, Izzy saw Lydia saying something that made Alec let out a small smile and he extended his hand, shaking hers in return before they parted ways.

Their first mission with Lydia was a success, they managed to bring down the four demons without taking any major hits themselves. Lydia might not have been the most talkative person in the world, far from it in fact but it wasn’t as if Izzy and Alec had tried to maintain a conversation going either, the three fought well together and that was enough.

The first week went by quickly, doing most of the same stuff as before, train, patrol, sleep and repeat.

Usually, Alec spent every free moment he had with Magnus and when he stopped by the Institute, he wasn’t surprise to see Lydia training there now. Izzy opted to keep her distance but kept a close eye on Lydia, she hadn’t seen her talk much with her brother since the first day they saw each other again and most of the time they spent together they’d either train or discuss the plan for their next patrol.

Two weeks went by and Izzy could see that everyone still seemed to walk on eggshells around her, beside Alec and Magnus who were actually starting to warm up to her. Most people avoided her because they thought she’d kill them only with her glance and others were simply avoiding her because they knew she’d kick their asses on the training mat and wanted to avoid bruises. During that time,

Isabelle had been watching the blonde woman stick to her own for the entire time she’d been there, she trained on her own, ate on her own and even chilled in the garden on her own. The younger Lightwood was getting curious now and small part of her was starting to feel bad for Lydia. She was a good fighter, she’d even saved Izzy and Alec’s bacons a couple of times already and hadn’t mentioned it after that. It felt like they had fallen into a comfortable routine and their improvised team functioned well.

The fact that Lydia was strikingly beautiful was also a factor that made Izzy keep her distance from her, she didn’t want to complicate the situation even further so she pretended not to notice the glances she received from Lydia when the blonde thought that Izzy wasn’t looking at her. However, the younger Lightwood couldn’t help herself and one foggy Saturday morning she broke her resolve.

The Institute was almost empty, save for the two or three Shadowhunters left that were roaming the halls and the team that was patrolling the streets now, Alec had gone to Magnus’ and Clary was spending the weekend with Jace and Simon, trying to get them not to kill each other. Lydia was alone in the training room, she’d just finished punching the boxing bag and droplets of sweat were falling down the sides of her face. Izzy looked at her as she kicked and punched the bag, she could see the muscles flexing under her skin and Lydia’s focused expression, never breaking contact with her imaginary opponent. Izzy’s mind came up with a tempting idea and she made her way to the weapons rack and then to Lydia, holding steadily a staff in her hands.

“Come on, let’s see what you’ve got,” - Isabelle said as she threw a staff at Lydia, the challenge evident in her voice.

“Are you sure? I won’t go easy on you” - Lydia arched her eyebrow as she saw Izzy getting into position.

“I have no doubt about that but I assure you I can hold my own,” - Isabelle said with a smirk at the end and felt the snake unwrap from her wrist, transforming her electrum whip in a solid staff in the blink of an eye.

And so they began, no slow swings at the beginning like with Clary, no careful movements like with Alec, no time for hesitant attacks like with Jace... Lydia was uninterrupted, fierce chain of movement. She swung her staff over her head and managed to lend a quick hit on Isabelle’s cheek. For a split-second worry flashed in the blonde’s eyes but when she saw Izzy looking at her with fierce determination instead of anger and spite, her worried lessened. The next couple of minutes every attack was met with a block and Isabelle couldn’t help but smile as she finally found an opening and sharply thrusted the end of her staff into Lydia’s stomach, making her tumble backward in pain that only lasted a couple of moments.

“You’re better than I expected.” - Izzy said with another smug smile and watched Lydia regain her position.

“I can say the same thing for you.”- The blonde tried to sound menacing but it was a difficult task to achieve while admitting Izzy was an excellent fighter, perhaps even better than herself. Their rivalry seemed to have shifted into something else in nature.

Lydia was now standing in front of Isabelle, holding her staff in position, her feet began moving as she saw the younger Lightwood circle her. The blonde was the perfect image of control even now, composed and focused even though her breathing was fast and she already had several bruises forming on her skin. Isabelle couldn’t help but let her eyes roam over the blonde’s body, smirking as she saw the other woman struggling to keep her eyes from straying down her figure was well.

“You have a good balance but you cannot control everything.” – Izzy said as she attacked.

Lydia could feel the heat coming off in waves from Isabelle’s body standing so close to her, she could also smell the faint scent of orange blossoms that clang to Izzy’s hair. For a moment her mind got clouded and she missed the way Izzy’s lips curled up as she brought her foot between Lydia’s and sent them both tumbling to the ground. Knocking Lydia’s staff out of her hands, it landed on the other side of the training room, far from her reach as well and now the blonde found herself pinned to the ground with a smirking Isabelle Lightwood on top of her.

Even though Izzy was the shorter one out of the two of them, she held her tightly pinned to the ground now and her self-satisfied smile made Lydia wonder why she had wasted those two weeks until and hadn’t talked with Isabelle on the first day like she did with Alec. She wouldn’t say she and the older Lightwood were friends yet but they were getting there and at least things between them weren’t awkward anymore. Grabbing Lydia by the wrists, Izzy let the staff transform back to a bracelet around her own wrist.

“Do you yield?” – Izzy asked and tightened her grip just to convey her point.

“I don’t give up so easily.” – Lydia said and did something no Shadowhunter had ever tried before, a bold and daring move that nobody had tried in years. She started tickling Izzy and the woman quickly rolled aside and Lydia used the moment to turn their positions.

“That’s cheating!” – Isabelle managed to say between laughs.

“Everything is fair when you’re pinned to the ground.” – Lydia said and secured Izzy’s hand under her. Even though this had started as a fight, it quickly turned into something completely else, even though they’d both tried to actively stay away from each other when they weren’t patrolling, the tension that had now settled between them was too heavy to be ignored. Lydia’s ocean blue eyes were almost black, mirroring the desire that burned in Isabelle’s and their bodies were mere inches apart when Izzy felt the other woman’s erratic heartbeat and…

A loud clash came from the kitchen breaking the moment between them, it seemed Izzy wasn’t the only one that should be prohibited from entering that space without anyone keeping an eye on her, she had only caused a few minor fires anyway.

Lydia moved from on top of Izzy as if she had burned her, she should’ve just yielded when her back hit the ground and save herself from this torture. She quickly got to her feet and was ready to walk away, leaving a stunned Isabelle behind her when she heard Izzy calling after her but decided to ignore her.

“Lydia, wait!” – Isabelle jumped on her feet too and tried to stop the other woman but the blonde’s feet were moving quickly away from her.

Something cold and thin wrapped around Lydia’s wrist and when she brought her hand up to see what it was, she was both frustrated and surprised to see the end of Izzy’s whip coiled around her skin, enough pressure to only make her stop in her tracks as Isabelle approached her.

“You have been avoiding me ever since you came and when you finally talk to me you run away again, what is your problem?” – Izzy asked her, her dark brown eyes now filled with hurt.

“Oh, because you’ve been so welcoming Isabelle?” – Lydia asked rhetorically.

“I just…” – Izzy started but wasn’t sure where to actually start from.

“You know what forget it.” – She said and tried to end the conversation, this time it was she that was walking away.

“I didn’t want to make it weird okay?” – Lydia quickly answered frustrated and saw Isabelle stop and turn to look at her once more.

“Well, weirder at least.” – She added with a small voice and took a deep breath.

“I was the one that almost got you stripped of your runes and I know you didn’t like me before that either and now we were finally starting to work well together... I didn’t want to put at risk the way our team works.” – The blonde explained and saw Izzy cross her hands in front of her, this wasn’t her favorite subject to talk about but it was necessary.

“I saw you not only letting but also encouraging Alec to go with Magnus even though it meant destroying all your chances of leading this Institute and I also heard what you said at my hearing. I know now why you thought you were doing the right thing.” – Izzy admitted.

“Yeah well, turns out Alec wasn’t my type at all.” – Lydia said with a small shake of her head. She didn’t like having to talk about her feelings where everyone could hear her so she tried to deflect with dry humor and started walking away again.

Izzy could feel her heart beating rapidly now, she hadn’t been wrong after all, Lydia seemed to feel the same attraction as her so maybe it was time to clear the air between them once and for all. Swinging with her whip once more, Izzy tugged at Lydia’s arm until she was standing within reach again.

“Can you stop running away every time I try to tell you something or can you only talk to me while you’re on the stand?” – Izzy asked feigning frustration.

“Ugh! Do you expect me to write you a formal apology about that or…?” – Lydia was about to say something more when she felt Isabelle’s lips press against her.

The kiss was slow and hesitant at first but Lydia quickly snapped out of the surprised stupor and kissed her back, feeling Izzy smile against her.

“I expect you to stop brooding alone from now on and let me take you out tonight. It’s not our night to patrol so I can show you around the city and we can do more of this.” – Izzy said as she leaned in for another kiss.

“Deal.” – Lydia managed to say between kisses and felt Isabelle’s hands wrap around her middle, pulling her close. It was a little over three months and two weeks since the most disastrous wedding in the Shadow world and Lydia had never been happier.

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!!